#i’m asking as someone who knows next to nothing about astrology

[pollenallergie]

What do you guys think Eddie’s sun sign is and why???

[lauraneedstochill]

The Greens headcanons (modern!au)

I was inspired by @phiasaban post. the second I saw these photos I had an idea for the modern au and just wrote it all down in 10 minutes (this has nothing to do with the show! it’s just me looking at the photos, mind you):

Alicent is a single mom. loves to cook (def cooks when she’s nervous or upset), has a record collection, loves to dance when she’s tipsy. can be a strict parent when she’s pissed (or really tired) but overall is a mama bear (to the point of getting into arguments with teachers — “yeah, I think I know what’s best for my kids”). she’s an angry driver, keeps her car super clean. dresses casually (plaid shirts and jeans), but whenever she puts on a dress she looks so smoking hot it makes every man turn around after her. tons of them flirt with her but she mostly looks uninterested. deep inside is afraid to get her heart broken again. makes friends with her neighbor Criston (he let her borrow flour a few times). he is totally in love with Alicent and everyone sees it but her. he’s okay with her taking all the time she needs.

Aegon is a fuckboy but a very apologetic one. has no cruel intentions, he just “loves women so much, he can’t help himself”. either writes songs or poetry. has the weirdest captions on instagram. drinks wine 24/7 but manages to look sober when needed. ends up falling in love with one of his closest friends who’s been tolerating him for years, helping him sober up, making him breakfasts, giving cruel reviews of his sappy poems. one day she just casually picks him up in her car, they’re driving in comfortable silence, she asks him how his day went — and it suddenly strikes him that she’s the one. he’ll probably tell her right away (“I think I’m in love with you” — and she sharply presses the brakes). but it will take a couple of weeks for him to fully sober up, convince her to go on a date with him and then to give him a chance. will plant kisses all over her face whenever she’s upset. he loves movie dates, but his sense of humor is questionable.

Aemond is into sports (pick whatever you like, but he doesn’t look like a team player to me lol). very competitive, self-disciplined, doesn’t talk much. girls swoon over him and he ignores them completely. secretly is a nerd, reads a lot (and pretty much anything). falls in love with a girl who challenges him but will also stand by his side in every situation imaginable even if he’s wrong (she won’t shy away from telling him the truth when it’s just the two of them, though). he’s incredibly protective yet very gentle. it’s all about forehead kisses, leaving sweet notes for her, buying flowers for no reason. not a fan of PDA’s but will hold her hand every chance he gets. remembers every single anniversary. they’ll probably adopt a dog. he gives the best hugs and loves when she plays with his hair. they can talk about their favorite books for hours and she loves being the only one who gets to see that side of him.

Helaena is into astrology and tarot cards. has a cat (or three) and probably a little pet snake. talks to animals (I also think she’ll be vegan but don’t quote me on that). buys a lot of plants (and gives them names), maybe in attempt to compensate for her smoking. some may say she has a resting bitch face, but those ppl clearly never saw her smile, 'cause it lights up her face and she looks absolutely adorable. she’s the first one to steal their mother’s car (Alicent is not surprised and just texts her “no smoking in the car!”). annoyed with her brothers most of the time but god forbid someone dares to hurt them. carries a pocketknife (it looks very pretty, decorated with crystals and stuff), wears long t-shirts. adventurous but it takes time for her to trust people. will fall in love with someone who’s kind (and maybe introverted?). they’ll get matching tattoos (smth very small and simple), go on road trips and music festivals. yes, I can totally imagine her being queer.

➡ next: modern!Aemond Targaryen, college au part 1 — “All yours” part 2 — First time for everything 💌 my masterlist

[ermbabyel]

Hi! I just saw your submission to my matchup trade and I'm more than willing to do it with you! Here’s my half for the trade (Mystic Messenger/Stardew Valley)!

• Name/Nickname: Kaitlyn / Kit

• Age: 20

• Sexuality: Lesbian (However I don’t mind being shipped with fictional men at all!!)

• Pronouns: She/Her

• Age Range: 20-30

• Likes: Gardening, Cats, Ocean Life, Video Games, Coffee, Disney Movies (Frozen, specifically), Fall Out Boy (favorite band) || Dislikes: Fireworks, Hospitals

• Hobbies: Journaling, Writing, Reading

• Love Languages: Gift Giving

• Ideal Type: Someone to joke around with, who listens to me, who hypes me up 24/7

• Personality: I’m very shy at first and it takes some time for me to get used to new people. I tend to be very outgoing when in my friend circle and never really go out of my way to meet new friends, they always just come to me somehow. I like to believe I give good advice and am a good listener, and I back my friends up 100% of the time. I love to laugh and make jokes, and pretend arguing over stupid stuff that doesn’t matter is one of my favorite activities. I could ramble on and on about my favorite activities and I can tend to be stubborn when it comes to my favorite things.

• Astrology Sign: Scorpio

• Aesthetic/Style: My style fluctuates based on my mood of the day. Some days I will be wearing band t-shirts (usually Fall Out Boy) and ripped jeans, paired with a cat beanie, and some (silver) jewelry. Other days I could wear nothing but pastels and pink, paired with lots of sanrio and hello kitty accessories.

• Anything else you can think of: Appearance wise I wear glasses, have green eyes, blonde hair thats a little past shoulder length, and I’m 5’2.

(I’ll have your matchups posted within the next day!!)

Hello~! I’m so excited to do their matchup trade with you. I hope you enjoy your matchups~

Your Mystic Messenger Matchup is…Saeyoung~

I think this man would love you to bits~!

He would be SO flustered when he meets you, but tries to play it off by cracking jocks. But we know this man will eventually FOLD hard lol.

Seven is your #1 hype man, constant praises and compliments every single minute of every day lmaooo. This sweet boy just wants you to know how much he loves you!

Absolutely LOVES your Hello Kitty/cat accessories! He will ask you from time to time if he can wear some of your accessories and will give some fashion advice here and there.

Playful banter all day long…this man is not holding back! Sometimes Yoosung will watch you two banter and tease back and forth as a form of entertainment lol.

He’d also be the type of person to ask if he can try on your glasses lmao and have you try his on just for the fun of it.

We all know Seven likes to invent gifts and let me tell you this boy has a few ideas up his sleeve! He wants you to use his gifts as mementoes of his love for you.

I believe Saeyoung would love how much of a good listener you are. He has gone through SO much and appreciates being able to confine in you when he gets flashbacks from his past. You are his safe place~ 💜.

Your Matchup in Stardew Valley is…Abigail~

I was debating between Leah and Abigail, but ultimately chose Abigail! I just think you two would mesh really well~

You caught Abigail’s eyes the first time you walked into The Stardrop Saloon. She’d be absolutely fascinated by your piercing and would ask you so many questions about them lol.

She’s also the one to try to hide her feelings and might get annoyed when Sam or Sebastian tease her about it. But she’ll build up the courage to ask you out on a date!

This girl does not mind your ramblings at all and actually finds this trait of yours quite charming! She’ll ask you what your writing or journaling and will watch you with a gentle gaze as you get lost in your ramblings~

She can be a bit of a spit fire, but I think that’s something you can handle pretty well. I mean you’re not afraid to fire back when Abigail gets a bit sassy…all in good fun though!

You’ll be the type of couple who share each other’s clothes lmao. I think you’d be the one to get her hooked onto listening to Fall out Boy…so expect someone your band shirts “mysteriously” disappear.

I think you’d be the mom of the friend group with Sam and Sebastian. Sam is a bit of a dumb-ass and would appreciate someone to watch out for him lol. And Sebastian also needs a listening ear when he feels troubled by what he’s been dealing with at home. Abigail just appreciates how kind-hearted you are with her friends as well as with her.

I think Abigail would love your more outgoing side. I can see her trying to get caught up in some of her adventures like going to the mines, for example. She’d also would love to lay in bed, snuggled up with you and listen to your writings at the end of the day.

I hope you enjoyed doing this trade as much as I have! I hope you have a good day/night~! 🥰

[contentconsumer]

hello! i’d like to make a ship request :)

moral description

- i really try to go out of my way to be there for the people around me as a consequence from being bullied in middle school. i always feel like people might be going through something that those around them don’t know about, so being mean can be really unnecessary at times?? that’s why i feel guilty whenever i get into arguments since i dont want people to remember me as someone who hurt them.

- at the same time being sympathetic to everyone and being introverted sometimes prevent me from standing up for myself at some point so that’s something i’m trying to work on as of now

- but if i’m actually close to someone i’ll get way more comfortable; that means making jokes, talking about what i’m passionate about (writing, drawing, reading, listening to music, playing video games, going on “adventures” & roleplay games) and having playful banter. i’d still call a friend out if i dislike their behavior though.

- i’m really independent so i guess having a controlling bf/gf would make me uncomfortable?? that would be definitely something we’d argue about.

- if i’m upset about something, i’m either quiet about it or passive agressive. then i get even more upset because people don’t notice anything. i keep things for myself.

(short) physical description :

i have no idea if that’s really needed but just one thing🧍‍♀️

i’m 5'3 so a height difference would be nice... just saying though <3

sexuality :

- bisexual

chosen fandom/show :

- i wish to be shipped with stranger things

what characters :

- i’d like to be shipped with the highschoolers (both hawkins and california!)

zodiac sign :

- libra sun gemini moon leo rising (astrology nerd? me? no.. 🙄)

small ideas of scenarios with s/o :

- arguing (about what? up to you. could be about some dumb thing like d&d or something more serious like the upside down or our traumas) and then making up because my fav trope is angst/comfort..

- eventually having meaninful late night talks about our respective bullying experiences and life

- sitting next to each other in class and one of us gets a sudden nosebleed

who would be my best friend :

honestly, not sure. i think i’d be close to max...? and maybe will before he moved. i think we’d get along well.

and that’s it. thank you for reading my thoughts, i was really inspired. take your time and don’t overwork yourself with the asks you may have rn! i wish you a nice day <3

hi! i ship you with mike wheeler! i think he may borderline on the independent side too - when he's not asking the boys for help with his relationship so would understand the need for space within your relationship. i think he would also be able to read you like a book, so if anything changes in your body language he would pick up on it immediately like if you become quiet he notices it immediately and would take you too a different room to chat through what's on your mind similarly, you both share the same hobbies of dnd etc so you are able to spend a lot of time together doing activities you both enjoy!

"hey uh, you got a little-" mike gestures to his face, making you place your own hand above your lips where you feel a liquid, upon looking at your fingers you see its blood. "oh shit" you mumble, "i'm really sorry" "what are you sorry for" mike laughs, causing the teacher to shush the pair of you. "i don't know i feel like i shouldn't be having a nosebleed right now" you wave your hands slightly frantically, "i mean you can't really control it...can you?" mike questions with a smirk and raised eyebrow, "no mike, i can't control it" "well there's nothing to apologise for then, common," he stand, "let's get you cleaned up." you take his outstretched hand.

hope this is okay!

[nouies]

hiii, lou! 💜

honestly, i love giving comforting hugs, because most of the time i don't know how to react when someone is having a bad time. i'm really empathetic, but at the same time i easily find solutions for other people's problems. when what they need at the time is just to mourn and calm down. 😓

yes, when the time comes, i would love to see what blogs you have in mind. 👾

oh, i love angst at all. it's just sometimes the pain is too much. but if i'm being honest, i easily lose interest if everything is just fluff or the couple gets together too fast. 🫣

let me guess, you only like louis, harry and one dee? i can't wait to see what songs you have chosen! and i have been always thinking the songs we listen to show what kind of person we are. it's like you get the memo before even talking to someone. that's why i don't usually show people my playlists. 🦄

well, about the astrology, not only one sign makes you who you are, but a lot of different signs working with each other. also, i kinda get this. i usually prefer listening when i don't want to talk about myself. but at the same time i'm like harry when someone asks me questions i don't want to answer. talking about anything else, but not the topic we are currently discussing. 😄

i hope whatever is the reason about you not being allowed to drink coffee is not something serious and you feel better soon! and i love hot chocolate so much. i don't like coffee. i prefer tea, matcha or hot chocolate. 🪁

i think in our next spanish lesson you should teach me how to say "i love chocolate", because i can't live without it. 😋

my questions for the day: how many fics are you planing to post this year? and what keeps you motivated to write? ☔️

hope you have a lovely friday,

- your secret valentine ☺️

hi love!!

i never know how to react either, i just offer if they want to be listened and that’s it. i’ve only comforted my family when we’ve lost someone but that’s as far as i’ve gotten.

(i don’t have any blogs in mind but i’ll look for some.)

ohh i like both i think. i like it when they go through a lot of things to be together but also when it’s just them loving each other since the beginning. i guess it depends on how things are said for me hdkdhd

yes, i only like them 🤭 and before i forget about it, here are ten songs to know me better:

the view from the afternoon - arctic monkeys

music when the lights go out - the libertines

ocean’s deep - born ruffians

hometown - twenty one pilots

beautiful disaster - 311

wait for it - leslie odom jr (hamilton cast)

fireproof - one direction

headline - louis tomlinson

satellite - harry styles

everywhere - niall horan

i think that’s why i prefer listening, so i don’t have to talk abt myself, and bc sometimes i stumble with my words (idk if that’s the right expression lol).

it’s nothing serious, don’t worry! it’s something to do with my brain, i was a bit ill last summer and now it’s just a measure to not get back to that heheh we can share a mug of hot chocolate sometime!

okay, if you want to say “i love chocolate” you can use the pronoun for “i” which is “yo” or you can skip it since the verb already indicates you’re talking in first person. “yo amo el chocolate” or “amo el chocolate”. yo is pronounced like in english, amo = ah-moh, for el it’s like when you say elephant, and chocolate you already know ;)

i’m posting two fics this year. my friends keep me motivated but not in a pressured way but i want to write to make my friends happy, that’s the reason i started writing fics in the first place. since i can’t give my friends gifts for their birthdays (or just because), i decided to write fics for them. currently i’m working with a friend on something and i’m having so much fun but i’m mainly doing it to see her happy. 💗

you know, i originally wanted to ask you your top 5 louis songs and then i linked it to the movies so i mentioned soundtrack lol but i’m still curious if you want to share?

have a nice day!!

[whats-a-plot]

Meet Honey and Fizzle, my vampire and underworld hunter sibling pair.

"Well, do you know where the Hunter is, or not?"

Honey sighed loudly, snapping her book shut. He'd stormed in, interrupted her reading session with the local kids, and was now demanding to know where Fizzle was? The audacity.

She took a deep breath. If the children saw her throw the book at the upperworld mage, they'd be scared. Instead, she politely ushered them from the room, up the stairs, and out onto the street for someone else to take care of.

"So what if I do?" she snapped the moment the door closed. Her eyes unconsciously flickered towards the ceiling for a moment.

Of course she knew where her brother was. At this exact moment, he was on the roof of this building, setting up his traveling observatory. Well, that's what she assumed he was doing.  If she could see the rooftop right then, she'd find him asleep on the concrete, a book about astrological divination methods open on his chest.

The man before her crossed his arms. Honey couldn't quite tell if he was truly frustrated or if he was trying to be intimidating.

"Look, child, I need this taken care of, and taken care of discreetly. If you can't find him, I'll go somewhere else," he demanded.

In disbelief, Honey pushed her glasses farther up the bridge of her nose. "Child?" she repeated.  She hated hearing that term so much at this point that she could feel rage bubbling up from somewhere inside. "I'm nearly your age."

"I'm quite flattered you think I'm so y—"

"I'm thirty-four, and a respected researcher. If you won't treat me as such, I most certainly do not know anything about the Hunter you seek, and neither does anyone else in this part of town."

The vampire's outburst had clearly caught the man off guard. This girl, who barely looked to be sixteen, was only five years shy of his age? Still, no matter if she was lying or not, she was the only lead he'd found to actually get in contact with the reclusive Hunter of the underworld.

He would pacify her, just to get what he felt he deserved.

"Apologies, miss. You just look so young. I did not mean any insult."

For a moment, Honey considered telling him to get out. There was no doubt in her mind that he was like every other upperworlder that had come seeking Fizzle: desperate to kill, and not have the blood on his own hands. They made up the majority of his violent commissions. His change in tone and feigned apology would have no effect on her, but the money he was digging out of his wallet would.

"Please," he begged. "I've heard that money talks down here in this hell. I'm willing to pay whatever it takes to get rid of that bastard."

Honey took the money he offered and counted it. There was enough in her hands for both hers and Fizzle's groceries for the next week. Content with his offer, she crossed the room to her land-line phone and began dialing.

One ring. Nothing. That wasn't unusual.

Two rings. Still nothing. When her brother was setting up, sometimes he left his phone in his bag.

Three rings. What was he doing up there?

Four rings.

Honey had just taken the receiver away from her ear when she heard the other end pick up.

"Mm? Hello?" the voice on the other end asked, husky from sleep.

"What were you doing, making me wait like that?"

"Hon-Bun, calm down. I was just taking a nap." Honey could hear the rustle of a book, and Fizzle groaned. "I think I got a sunburn."

"Serves you right," she huffed. Collecting herself, she put on her best professional persona and announced, "You have a visitor."

Fizzle groaned again. "What kind of visitor?"

Honey glanced over her shoulder. Choosing her words carefully, she said, "Dangerous game."

"Those university mages never get tired of ripping each other's throats out, do they." The words may have formed a question, but his tone was flat. Honey could hear his echoing footsteps, meaning he'd returned inside the building to find the elevator to her lab. This was confirmed when he added, "Ah, I'll be there shortly."

She didn't wait to see if he had more to say before she hung up and turned back to her brother's newest client.

"It would appear he's interested," she informed him. "Interested" was a far stretch, but she knew Fizzle would feign interest if it got him paid more.

The man nodded, taking a seat in her reading nook without permission. Formally educated mages always acted like this, thinking they owned the place just because they'd been to one of those damned schools, but they were the ones coming crawling to her lovable baby brother who had never had a day of training in his life.

The elevator dinged, and the moment the doors opened, Fizzle waltzed out, grabbing Honey by the shoulders and swinging her around, much to her dismay. To her, this was not the time to treat her like his sister, but like a colleague. He gave her a kiss on the forehead with a smile before approaching the man.

"So, this is the fabled Hunter of the Underground?" the man asked, still seated. "I was expecting someone more...terrifying."

"Is it the hair?" Fizzle asked no one, running his fingers through messy turquoise green hair. "It was supposed to be midnight blue."

"No, it's..." The man trailed off.

"Oh! Is it the outfit? I wanted to be comfy today. Don't worry, I won't be wearing this while hunting. Eh? No? Is it the glasses? Or is it because I'm not as tall as you were imagining? Five-ten's not short, you know. Hmm, not that either? Maybe it's--"

"I was expecting someone with more bulk," the man interjected.

Fizzle looked down at himself, then at his arms, and whined "That's it? I know I'm not built like I go to the gym everyday or anything, but I'm not exactly scrawny. I've got the muscle I need to do what I need."

In the blink of an eye, Fizzle's entire demeanor changed.  Conversing with this man had turned just as annoying to him as it had Honey. Upperworlders never changed. They never gave those in the underground communities the credit they deserved.  So what if he didn't look like the cartoonishly muscled image of a Hunter this guy was picturing? He obviously knew what he was doing, or he wouldn't have enough reputation for the man before him to find him when looking for someone to do his dirty work. "Enough chit-chat. What exactly do you want me to do and how much are you willing to pay?"

Swallowing hard, the man produced an envelope. Inside was an image of his rival, a fellow mage who was up for the same promotion within the ranks of the institution they were at, several detailed lists of places he'd be and when, and a deposit of half the amount he was willing to pay.

"Wow, you came prepared. Must have a real hard-on for that position, huh?"

"H-how'd you know it was for a position?" the man asked, and Honey wondered just where the demanding man who had interrupted her reading session had gone. Surely her goofball of a brother wasn't that intimidating.

"It almost always is," Fizzle replied, counting the deposit. "This'll do for half the amount, but I don't need the lists of places to find him. That's what the stars are for."

[mojput-mypath]

4 points - 1 conclusion

Time to return to the black on white. 1 I am experiencing burnout. 2 Too many close people to me have died or are unwell. 3 I am dog sitting. 4 The guru heals. 1 What does burnout look like? It varies for different people. It's like constantly pushing yourself, feeling completely off, realising your health is deteriorating, being unable to think clearly, and becoming aggressive or passive or both simultaneously. And not being able to put a stop to it. I have recently emerged from an 18-year astrological period, known as Rahu (for those familiar with astrology). Most recently, the ending periods of Rahu-Moon and Rahu-Mars. I was told these periods would be challenging, but what's truly difficult is having gone through all that hardship and now having to bear the consequences. I literally "woke up" the day I entered the next significant (16-year) period of Jupiter. The realisation of how much I have exhausted my mind, body, emotions, and soul has dawned on me. As Gurudev says, once you hit the brakes, it takes some time to get the vehicle to come to a halt. I am bracing for the final coming-to-a-stop moment. My burnout was accompanied by an inflamed occipital nerve, most probably triggered by the nerve’s compression in the neck, as well as exposure to heat and then cold wind (Yes! A breeze can be dangerous). Very interestingly, every time I saw a request of any sort on my screen, the nerve would break out into searing pain throughout my head. I tried to ignore it. Then I tried to numb it out with painkillers and still continued to be active. Eventually, there was nothing more I could do but rest. Do nothing much. Take a break. It was tough, really. The brakes are still squeaking, and I am not able to get to a complete stop. I’m getting there, and I am really beautifully supported by my environment at home, work, and my spiritual family. I feel supported. 2 People die all the time. Yes, people die every second and are born every second or less. When someone dear passes away, something is pierced inside. A huge hole is created. As the expression goes, only time will heal. Ever since my father passed away, I have been handling other people’s death as a much greater burden. I have also realised the importance of support for those who have lost a loved one, a dear and near one. I have lost two people in the last few weeks, and one is still in an unknown state, unchanged. This has and will continue to keep me aware of the shortness of our time here on earth, of how there is no moment like the present. Yet, nothing seems to ease the pain, other than the passage of time. In that time, there are unbearable moments, and then they become bearable again. The awareness of those not with us anymore is almost constant. I have been actively aware of the ease of our life ending. Constantly. It gives me pain, and I know this pain is only human and quite unreasonable, yet it is real. I say unreasonable because I believe that people’s souls are freed from life in the body. I have myself, in unusual circumstances, had the experience of feeling restricted by my own body. I am guessing people who have bodily impediments can speak the most on this.

I do feel supported on my life journey. Krishna explains to Arjuna that death is inevitable for all living beings and that the soul is eternal and indestructible. 3 Cute little doggies. I have had a new experience in my life. I was asked to take care of a puppy for a few days and have the experience of dog minding in my daily life. As I found it exhausting, I have also found it mesmerising. I have never had a dog in my life and had a faint wish that I would like to have one someday, but I have not fully understood all the fuss about having a dog. After spending 2 weeks with a 3-month super intelligent and kind baby dog, I fell in love. (I fell in love after the 2nd day). I have grown to care about the pup and have found it very difficult to part from it. I have been mulling over the pros and cons of having a dog for 2 months now and still have not fully been able to make a final decision. I have made a 50% decision and am waiting for the next 50% to find its own way to me. I have a pup in mind, but I also have a little more time to make it final. A big responsibility, a huge reward.

Whatever I decide, I feel supported. 4 The guru heals. Going back to square 1. After going on sick leave, dog minding, and then taking some rest, all this has been too short of a time to come back to normal. What is normal anyhow? Normal would be not feeling overly exhausted, challenged, angry, sad… Not feeling overly anything. I travelled 1,400km in a day (by car and plane) to see my dear Guru for a day and a half. Halfway there, I wondered, is this complete insanity? Why, in the middle of a burnout, would I travel 1,400km to see someone? The answer came. I spent a day and a half resting and spending time in meditation and in His presence. On the second day, I felt rested and refreshed, like I have not been in months. I had an enormous amount of energy, and the ability to tackle challenges came back to some extent. I will have to continue to heal, rest, and balance my work-rest libra. This is the best possible start I could have had. If you have the opportunity, and even if you don’t – make one, to come and see him at least once in your lifetime. Experiencing the presence of an enlightened living Master is rare and unusual in every period. Don’t miss this one; it might take a while until another like him walks this earth.

With Him, I feel supported, by nature, by God. ______________________________________________________________ HRVATSKI PRIJEVOD 

Vrijeme je za povratak crnog na bijelo.

1 Iscrpljenost. 2 Previše dragih ljudi je umrlo ili se ne oporavlja. 3 Čuvanje psa. 4 Guru iscjeljuje. 1 Kako izgleda prevelika iscrpljenost? Različito kod različitih ljudi. To je poput konstantnog guranja sebe, osjećaja potpune neravnoteže, shvaćanja da ti se zdravlje pogoršava, nemogućnosti jasnog razmišljanja. Ponašanje koje postaje agresivno ili pasivno, ili oboje istovremeno. I nemogućnosti zaustavljanja. Nedavno sam izašla iz 18-godišnjeg astrološkog razdoblja poznatog kao Rahu (za one upućene u astrologiju). Posljednji dio tog razdoblja bilo je Rahu-Mjesec i Rahu-Mars. Rečeno mi je da će ta razdoblja biti izazovna, ali ono što je zaista teško je proći kroz sve te teškoće i sada snositi posljedice. Doslovno sam se "probudila" onog dana kada sam ušla u sljedeće značajno (16-godišnje) razdoblje Jupitera. Shvatila sam koliko sam iscrpila svoj um, tijelo, emocije i dušu. Kao što Gurudev kaže, kada pritisnete kočnicu, treba neko vrijeme da vozilo zaustavi. Pripremam se za konačni trenutak zaustavljanja. Mojoj iscrpljenosti pridružuje se upaljeni okcipitalni živac, najvjerojatnije izazvan kompresijom živca u vratu, kao i izlaganjem toplini, a zatim hladnom vjetru (da! i propuh može biti opasan). Vrlo zanimljivo, svaki put kad bih vidjela bilo kakav zahtjev na svom ekranu, bol živca bi mi sijevnula po cijeloj glavi. Pokušala sam to ignorirati. Zatim sam pokušala to otupiti analgeticima i i dalje bila aktivna. Na kraju, nije mi preostalo ništa drugo nego odmoriti se. Ne raditi puno. Napraviti pauzu. Bilo je teško, stvarno teško. Kočnice još uvijek škripe i nisam u mogućnosti potpuno stati. Približavam se tome, i zaista imam predivnu podršku svoje okoline kod kuće, na poslu i od svoje duhovne obitelji.

Osjećam se podržano. 2 Ljudi umiru cijelo vrijeme. Da, ljudi umiru svake sekunde, a svake sekunde ili manje se rađaju. Kada draga osoba premine, nešto se dogodi unutar nas. Stvara se velika praznina. Kao što kaže izreka, samo vrijeme liječi. Otkako je tata preminuo, smrt drugih ljudi doživljavam kao još veći teret. Shvatila sam i važnost podrške za one koji su izgubili voljenu osobu, dragu i blisku. U posljednjih nekoliko tjedana izgubila sam dvije osobe, a jedna se još uvijek nalazi u nepromijenjenom stanju. To me čini svjesnom kratkoće našeg vremena ovdje na Zemlji, kako nema trenutka poput sadašnjeg. Ipak, ništa ne čini bol manjom osim prolaska vremena. U tom vremenu postoje trenuci koje je teško podnijeti, a zatim postaju podnošljivi. Svjesnost o onima koji više nisu s nama gotovo je konstantna. Aktivno sam svjesna koliko je naš život krhak. Konstantno. To mi stvara bol, i znam da je ta bol samo ljudska i prilično nerazumna, ali je stvarna. Kažem nerazumna jer vjerujem da se duše oslobađaju tijela nakon smrti. Sama sam, u neobičnim okolnostima, imala iskustvo osjećaja ograničenosti vlastitim tijelom. Pretpostavljam da ljudi koji imaju tjelesne poteškoće mogu najbolje govoriti o tome.

Unatoč svemu, osjećam se podržano. Krishna objašnjava Arjuni da je smrt neizbježna za sva živa bića i da je duša vječna i neuništiva. 3 Slatki psići. Imam novo iskustvo u svom životu. Zamoljena sam da se brinem o štencu nekoliko dana i da iskusim brigu o psu u svojoj svakodnevici. Istovremeno mi je bilo iscrpljujuće, a istovremeno sam bila očarana. Nikada nisam imala psa u životu i imala sam želju da ga jednog dana imam. Nisam u potpunosti razumjela uzbuđenje drugih oko posjedovanja pasa. Nakon što sam provela 2 tjedna s 3-mjeseca starim, izuzetno inteligentnim i ljubaznim štencem, zaljubila sam se. (Zaljubila sam se nakon 2. dana). Počela sam brinuti o štencu i jako mi je bilo teško rastati se od njega. Već 2 mjeseca razmišljam o prednostima i nedostacima posjedovanja psa, ali još nisam donijela konačnu odluku. Donijela sam 50% odluke i čekam da idućih 50% nađe svoj put do mene. Imam štene na umu, ali još imam malo vremena da to konačno odlučim. Velika odgovornost, velika nagrada.

Štogod odlučim, ili bude odlučeno za mene, osjećam se podržano. 4 Guru iscjeljuje. Povratak na početak. Nakon bolovanja, brige o psu i odmora, sve to je bilo prekratko vrijeme da se vratim u normalu. Što je uopće normalno? Normalno bi bilo ne osjećati se prekomjerno iscrpljeno, izazvano, ljuto, tužno... Ne osjećati ništa prekomjerno. Putovala sam 1.400 km u jednom danu (autom i avionom) kako bih vidjela svog dragog Gurua na dan i pol. Na pola puta sam se zapitala, je li ovo potpuno ludilo? Zašto bih usred perioda iscrpljenosti putovala 1.400 km da bih vidjela nekog? Odgovor je došao. Provela sam dan i pol odmarajući se, provodeći vrijeme u meditaciji i u Njegovoj prisutnosti. Drugog dana osjećala sam se odmorno i osvježeno, kako da nisam bila mjesecima. Imala sam ogromnu količinu energije, a sposobnost suočavanja s izazovima se djelomično vratila. Naravno, morat ću nastaviti s iscijeljivanjem, odmorom i ravnotežom između posla i odmora. Ovo je najbolji mogući način da započnem put odmora i iscjeljenja. Ako imate priliku, i čak i ako je nemate - stvorite je, dođite i upoznajte ga barem jednom u životu. Iskusiti prisutnost prosvijetljenog živućeg Učitelja je rijetko i neobično u svakom periodu. Ne propusti ovu priliku, možda će proći dugo vremena dok netko kao On kroči ovom zemljom.

Najviše se osjećam podržano kad sam s Njim, od prirode, od boga.

[notesfromastranger]

The List

Dating is tough. Especially when you keep meeting the wrong people. There’s the pushy guy who doesn’t respect boundaries and uses charm to try to get in your pants. There’s the spontaneous one who makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world by saying a bunch of nothing then dropping you quicker than he could say anything at all. There’s the young one with a 3 year old daughter who drinks too much and doesn’t pick up after himself. It’s the same disappointing person after the next. Nobody listens, nobody cares and nobody is self aware.

I went on and on while my therapist listened. “Here’s what I want you to do,'' she said. She explained how she wanted me to start by making a list of what I did not want in someone. Should be pretty easy.. I thought. Next, I was instructed to write the opposite of that underneath and continue by explaining what exactly that idea meant to me. For example, if I wrote that I did not want someone who was a bad listener then underneath I would write that I wanted a good listener. I would then think of a specific example or a story to illustrate what being a good listener means to me. When this is put into practice on a date I will more easily be able to recognize a good listener if it matches my description. Below are my personal thoughts and feelings about what’s important to me and hopefully this might help you!

1. Someone who is not a good listener.

Someone who is a good listener.

Someone who is a good listener asks me important questions and gives me the time I need to answer without losing focus. A good listener hears initial comments about what I enjoy and they listen even more intently to hear and understand why I like those things without inserting their opinion and practicing judgment. A good listener asks follow up questions pertaining to my answers so that they can better understand where I am coming from.

Example:

I’m on a date and I find myself talking about how I enjoy astrology, spirituality and tarot. My date becomes curious. “Oh really? What do you use tarot for? Why do you enjoy those things? Do you believe all of that to a tee or is it the basic message of wisdom that you enjoy? Why are you so passionate about spirituality? What led you to start your blog”?

This part of me is something that I feel is unique but I haven’t had anyone dig deep on why these things are so important to me and how they contribute to who I am. It seems like most people write it off and think that it’s silly or that it doesn’t matter that much when to me, it matters the most.

2. Someone that shows little interest in the things that I enjoy.

Someone that will try anything once with me.

This one goes hand in hand with #1. I would enjoy a person who shows enough interest in things that I think are important and valuable. Not only might they be curious about my blog by asking questions but they show interest in reading something. I might tell them that I like doing yoga and they suggest this as a date even if it isn’t something that they typically do. Genuine curiosity about the things that I enjoy. I understand that not everyone's the same and just because I like yoga doesn’t mean that he will but the intent to try once is everything.

3. Someone that is not a good communicator and who doesn’t take action.

Someone who is a good communicator and takes action.

Someone who is a good communicator lets me know what’s on their mind but does so in a constructive way. A good communicator is honest and lets me know exactly how they would feel or do feel about a situation so that there is no room for misguided interpretation. Someone that is a good communicator doesn’t let things fester because they are afraid to rock the boat. A good communicator wants to discuss and demonstrates patience.

Example:

I’ve been dating someone for a couple months. I’ve been on the go a lot and making lots of plans. Plans to go on a trip, dinners with friends, work events and happy hours. Little quality time with him and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t feel like a priority. When we are together he brings it up in a way that doesn’t make me defensive right away. “I’ve been thinking and I really miss spending quality time together. I know that you have been super busy but if I planned a trip for us in the next couple of weeks would you be able to make some time for that?”. By addressing it in this way it helps me to understand that he misses me. He is asking for my attention in a way that doesn’t place less value on any of the other things that I hold value for. When he expresses himself in this way it allows me to reassure him without getting defensive. I can also see that he is willing to work with me on this by showing initiative with planning a trip. This tells me that he values our connection enough to put in effort himself. It isn’t a situation where an angry boyfriend claims that I am selfish and don’t make time for him. Demanding that I put in more effort. Or it could be the alternative.. Sweeping it under the rug and never discussing it until one day his ego becomes so bruised that he downloads tinder.

4. Someone who doesn’t understand my need for freedom and space.

Someone who understands my need for freedom and space.

My true nature has always been independent. When I was younger I challenged my parents and played the rebel. I wasn’t a bad kid but I knew how to push some buttons. I always dreamed of flying but I began to clip my own wings in romantic relationships. I loved doing what I wanted but I also felt lonely and those two pretty much go hand in hand. So I battled my true nature and found myself in unsatisfying relationships.

Eventually, once I figured out true freedom, it completely transformed me. Spending time doing things by myself inspired me and it was nice to focus on fulfilling my own needs. Since this awakening, I will never be able to go back. Alone time and personal freedom are essential and key to my happiness. I have good ideas when I’m alone.

Someone who understands my need for freedom and space will honor that. They will not take it personally. They are a good communicator so they will let me know when they would like to spend more time with me or that they miss me but they will never weaponize it against me by implying that I’m selfish. My person will respect my independence from the relationship and admire it.

5. Someone who is afraid of committment.

Someone who would like to commit.

I would like a man who values commitment. Someone who honors family and union. Someone who is hopeful about the future and romantic. I will know when I meet someone who takes this seriously because they will be on a similar path as me. Treading carefully and airing on the side of caution. I will know when someone truly values commitment when they listen and respect my boundaries the first time I say them. He will want to plan our next meeting but won’t push anything. He is eager but not in a rush because he understands that the best things are discovered in time. Time is what he’ll give me and also what he will give himself in order to truly understand me.

6. Someone who doesn’t want kids.

Someone who wants kids.

My future partner will want kids. He sees the importance of family and is excited to have children in the near future. He believes that I will be a good mom and he shares this dream with me. He will understand though that having children is a big commitment and realizes that he is signing up to be an equal partner. He will understand that marriage and family takes work and he is mature enough to realize that it’s worth it.

7. Someone who doesn’t make my needs a priority.

Someone who makes my needs a priority

I will be with a partner who understands what’s important to me and values that. If I say to him that decorating our future home is something I’ve always dreamed of, he will understand that and value it. If I tell him that I miss him and feel like we need to spend quality time together he will understand and value that. If I say that something upsets me, he will understand and value that.

8. Someone who doesn’t have ambition.

Someone who has ambition.

I would like to be with a man that has passion for the things that he does. Even if his ambition doesn’t lie in his day job. I would like to be with someone who has a passion for something. I would like to be with a man who has gone through his own spiritual journey and has learned about what he loves. This person will enjoy the process of working at his passion whether it makes him successful or not.

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

(Since last week’s was late, everyone gets a nicer Horrible-Scope next week)

Aries  

You want to know who started the whole “Flat Earth” conspiracy? Go look at your album collection from 1984. Early in the collection you’ll see a black-and-white mottled spine. THAT is Thomas Dolby’s “The Flat Earth”. He’s the reason all those nutters are out there. Go complain to him on Twitter - I’m sure he’ll LOVE to hear from you.

Taurus 

Someone is going to invite you out for dinner this week… DO NOT ACCEPT! They’re planning on taking you to a pub, waiting until your meal arrives, then having the jukebox play that ONE SONG you hate, five times in a row. You knew they were a tool before this; you don’t need them to prove it again. 

Gemini  

You bought all those albums back in the day, and now you’re upset that there’s nothing worth listening to in modern music. Well break out those albums and listen to them again; all the way through without skipping only to the hits. You’ll realize that there’s still crappy music you’ve never heard before, but with the same levels of engineering and electronics you remember from your AquaNet inhaling days.

Cancer Moon-Child 

Yes, yes. He drives you crazy with his constant, “Uhm, But Actually”, Simpsons Comic Book Guy mannerisms, but he’s still family and he’s gunna live another 50 years easy.  If you weren’t ready for that level of commitment, you shouldn’t have bought a Blue-and-yellow macaw. 

Leo 

At the beginning of an orchestral concert, before the conductor comes out, the musicians perform an on-stage tuneup with Concert-A. Believe it or not even the drums are tuned. But here’s a question for you: when they play Coro di Zingari from Verdi's Il trovatore opera… do they tune the anvils too? And how DO you tune an anvil? Do you need a belt sander to make it sharper, or weld a horseshoe on to make it flatter? Call a local concert theater and ask to speak to the concertmaster about it. Pretty sure they’ve never gotten the question before.

Virgo 

We know you want to practice your Christmas Dinner so you don’t make a mistake later, but you’re taking it a little too far. Goose is relatively easy: it’s basically turkey. Beef Wellington is tricky, sure. But it’s not too tough. But for gods’ sake, stop practicing eggnog! No one’s going to trust home made stuff so just cut your losses.

Libra 

You know what made Milli-Vanilli parihas? They didn’t come clean right from the beginning. There've been plenty of fake bands with hits before: Look at The Archies, or Alvin and the Chipmunks, or The Monkeys… Well, ok. The Monkeys were at least competent musicians, so that’s a bad example. How about Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem? They were literally BUILT to be a band. So there you go! In a world of Milli-Vanillis, be an Animal!

Scorpio 

You want to know how to piss off all your Marvel Movie Loving Friends? Tell them that there’s no way for Iron Man’s chest-mounted Arc Reactor to power anything without it cooking his chest like a microwave oven. Seriously, that much power would generate so much waste heat it’s amazing he didn’t have a nipple-to-nipple tan-line.  

Sagittarius 

The next time you get gas for your car, you might want to consider getting it washed too. It’s collecting dirt from not driving much, and there might be critters building under the hood. Splurge for the “Deck Sprayers” in case there’s some nest of some kind under there. Squirrels can be problematic, but hornet nests are a bigger level of trouble.

Capricorn

Your diet needs to be cleaned up this week. Less bloody meat and more plant-based fork-fulls. Chicken Caesar salad is filling and gives you a great work out… how many times do you need to stab one of those cherry tomatoes before it sticks? And can you duck the juices it spits once you do? Let’s be fair; another heart attack will end you. 

Aquarius 

You wanted to know why a banjo sounds the way it does but you were afraid to search for the answer at work. We understand that - who’d want I.T. to get a warning that someone had visited “Banjo Dot Com”? Sure, there’s lots of simple, benign information about banjos there, but they’ll also sell them. With $500 near the low end of the price scale, it might be easier to just call and speak to them directly to get the answers instead of doing your own research.

Pisces 

How are you today, gentlemen? You’re on the way to destruction and you don’t even think about it. Time is an enemy that robs you of life as it TICK-TICK-TICKS away. The only way to solve that problem is to make time pass slower for yourself. Either travel faster, or live closer to a higher gravitational point. So hop on a rocket ship and fly into a black hole. Trust us, that’ll be something you’ll be able to do for your whole lifetime for you, but forever for us. And if you don’t understand, crack open a physics book and read up on the Theory of Relativity.  

And THOSE are your Hobble-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

[jcwriting]

Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep.  Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense.  It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

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[twentytarot]

hi everyone! i’ve been hard at work with my job this past month but i am finally done and back with a reading. today, we’re doing a reading on marriage in your life in general. pick the tiffiany ring that sets your thoughts off, triggers a memory or invokes a strong emotion and scroll right down for your reading. see you there! 💍

CONTENT WARNING: there are negative piles here. not every pile has a future spouse.

PILE ONE: CUSHION CUT

if you were handed an ultimatum and forced to choose between marriage and work, you’d probably get into your car and go to work the next morning. this makes things a little complicated, because you’re ambitious, you’re feisty, you hate it when your time and attention is used up on something that doesn’t matter to you. if you get married, however, your time will be eroded by many things that don’t matter in hindsight. you see, there will always be ridiculous in-laws, there will always be someone that will want your help so long as it is available. someone is going to want kids, even if that decision is completely irrelevant to them, or something dumb like that. no married couple gets out of having to deal with these things, and no couple gets through it without fighting over it a single time. so, my question to you is: will you have the patience to see this through? or will you fold?

unfortunately, the cards don’t predict the best of outcomes when it comes to your marriage. you probably will decide not to get married in the first place. if you do, you might remarry, or get into a questionable third-party situation. yet, i don’t see this being a huge hindrance on your life as a whole. you seem to me like the kind of person who cares less about having an other half compared to your friends, and i think you are going to have so much going for you in other facets in your life that you won’t be clinging onto this relationship when it goes south. this gives me celebrity vibes, almost, like someone who can never be home and the relationship ends because work is so demanding. so this will be a little sad, but i’m confident you will pick yourself back up quickly. 

astrologically, cancer came out very strong, and the interpretation i want to go with is that your most significant relationship will be very cancerian in nature. comforting at first, but ultimately probably not aligned with what you want to do with your life. that’s alright, you’ll be able to afford your own diamond ring anyway.

PILE TWO: SOLITARE

well, pile two, it looks like someone told you “if no one is going to marry you, i will”, and then they took it seriously. i kid, but i do see an element of your future spouse being someone you didn’t expect at all. perhaps you thought they would just be a best friend that knows all your secrets. and yet, this person knows your darkest secrets and then offers you love in its purest form. i get the feeling you’re not quite used to that, pile two. i’m hearing this underlying feeling of “what if i give too much, wait what if i give too little”, and i think this is partly because you haven’t seen first-hand a marriage that is of the kind you want to be in. it feels like you’re not sure if happy marriages exist in your world. well, they do. it just turns out that you give just the right amount when you’re not trying, which is why a best friend finally becomes your spouse.

this person will be with you through thick and thin, you will feel like they are your soulmate. you will always feel balanced in your relationship with this person because they will always be silently watching the scales, tipping it this way and that whenever something is about to swing out of balance. they will help you feel like you have nothing to worry about, they will bring a childlike kind of happiness into your life. 

now, onto a little bit of warning. no marriage is only ever happy, and i sense that your source of pain will come from outside influences. money is one, health is another. you will be very much together, but it’s a blessing and a curse because when one goes down, the other follows. the advice to you is to try your best to lift each other up through bad times, and know when you have to detach and go do your thing alone for the good of your future with them. you don’t have to always turn around to make sure they’re following, they’re your forever! they’ll be there.

PILE THREE: ROSE INFINITY

your marriage isn’t going to be a very fast-paced one— when you meet your future person, you’re going to be eons away from being ready to get married, and they will be the same. i almost feel like you will laugh at yourself when you start dating this person. the relationship just isn’t... pretty. this person almost brings out the worst in you: you fight them about the stupidest things and rile them up all the time just because it’s funny. there’s ten separate occasions where you’re pretty sure you should have been dumped or dumped them for some iconic out of left field insults, but for some reason it’s just funny after you’ve both calmed down. so it’s fun, and it’s so 20-something, but you’re preparing yourself for the inevitable breakup. and then... it somehow never comes.

somewhere along the lines, you grew up, and so did they. you didn’t know it then, but this person brings the best out of you as much as they bring out the worst. like a tantrum that just has to be thrown before a little child can settle down, you took your growing pains out on each other, and then somehow managed to fit into each others’ lives forever without even thinking about it. you give each other love naturally, flowing with each other and keeping each other sane. after you get married, there’s a feeling of “i can rest when this person is around” kind of energy because you trust each other to come out with the truth when it needs to be said, but you also trust that the person will be there to pick up the pieces if you break.

so this person isn’t as good-looking as you hoped or imagined. or they’re not the type to show you off, and they’re not really the type that wants to be showed off either. so maybe someone made a joke at their expense and you laughed. the beauty of all of that is, despite all of that, they love you and will for a long time. isn’t that already more than we can ask for, as mere mortals?

PILE FOUR: YELLOW HALO

okay... there are two groups of people in this pile. let’s talk similarities first. your partner is going to be quite eccentric. visual arts came up in particular, so perhaps your partner will be an artist? the last similarity is that marriage is unlikely, but as for why, it depends on which interpretation resonates more with you.

for the first group, this is probably my lgbt+ in a place that hasn’t legalised marriages not between a man and a woman pile. for reasons that seem bigger than yourself, marriage is unlikely in your life. i feel a lot of unwelcome judgement coming from this group. i think you might not get too much support around you; maybe your parents have something against people who are not in “professional degree” jobs, or your family and environment as a whole is very conservative. regardless, you will be with this person, but it might be beyond both of your abilities to get married for real. :( i’m sorry, i wish the world were kinder.

if the first interpretation doesn’t resonate, then it has something more to do with your stubbornness. everyone wants someone that will take them for exactly who they are. that doesn’t change the fact that no two people are completely perfect for each other, though. every couple starts by taking apart their schedule and fitting the other’s in. tolerating strawberry shortcakes on their partner’s birthday even if they hate strawberries. stopping their work short even if it means that coming back to it will be hard because their partner needs something. advice here is to rethink your mindset. you could be very successful in your career, but if you think you won’t be able to go home to an empty bed, or you know that family is what you want in the future, then see how you can be more considerate to the people around you. we don’t always like to hear this, but being considerate and selfish is a never-ending balancing game, so don’t feel too bad. you’re not a bad person! these things just take time. whichever way you choose, i hope it’s the one that makes you the happiest!

[luna--reading]

[PICK A CARD] WHAT IS COMING IN FOR ME FOR JUNE 2021?

Hello lovelies~ ♡ 

I’m finally back, I’ve been taking a very long hiatus and I’m so sorry for that~ I hope you would continue to support me and my pick a card readings!

This is a pick a card reading for “What is coming in for me for June 2021”. Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~ ♡

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 3 piles:

Left to right: 1 – 3

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1

The Wild Offering: COMPANIONSHIP – When you fully bless and embrace your aloneness, you’re ready for the ones who are meant to be with you. May I welcome this solitude knowing it will open the way for all healthy relationships

Psychic Tarot for the Heart: MANIFEST – The Magician

Astrological: AQUARIUS

Angel Answers: WITHIN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS

Lovers Oracle: ONLY TIME WILL TELL

Tiny Tarot: 8 of Wands, 4 of Wands, Page of Cups

General outlook for June 2021:

With the Magician and the 2 of Cups, I feel like this month is all about manifestation coming into place, and I feel like this is something that you’ve been working on for the past few months. With the Manifest card as well as the Companionship card, I can’t help but feel that this month, connections are very significant in your life. I feel like you are creating this wonderful balance between yourself as well as the people around you. This also ties in with the Aquarius card which is usually tied to the 11th House. I feel like social connections are significant for you in this month. In fact, I feel like if you feel that socially, things weren’t that great for you, then darling, everything is going to come into place over the next few weeks. I strongly feel like social connections (be it romantic, platonic or familial) are very significant for this month, or in fact, over the next few weeks. This is definitely the time for you to build on those connections around you, but don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries as well, darling!

Love outlook for June 2021:

For my singles, I feel like you’ve been in this period of isolation or just leaving the dating scene for quite some time already. And for those who are single but are dealing with someone, some kind of like a situation-ship, I feel like there has been a period of separation, or no-contact. But darling, this month, this tough cycle is coming to an end and that there would be a new beginning in regards to your love life. For those who are single (with no person of interest), I do feel that you would be meeting someone new and things might progress rather quickly for both of you this month. But it will just feel so right and it’ll make you realise that actually, that period of hermit mode wasn’t so bad after all. Because I feel that this period of hermit mode actually made you realise what is it that you truly wanted in a relationship and it only prepared you for this significant connection that the Universe had in store for you. As for those who are single (but you do have a person of interest, or are currently dealing with someone), I feel like this period of separation has led to certain enlightenment between you and that person. I do see this person wanting to come in with an offer of love and this might be especially so in terms of communication. For those who are waiting for certain communication coming in from your person, it is coming, and it will come over the next few weeks.

For those who are in a relationship, I feel that this month is definitely important for you to build on this connection with your significant other. I feel that you might be very busy balancing your other connections that you might sort of neglect your significant other and I do see that you are asked to constantly work on this partnership with them. I feel that some of you might be having certain doubts about this connection and you might feel that some time apart is needed. What I am getting from the Universe is that, you’re asked to communicate with your partner, be truthful about your own feelings. Present yourself in the rawest and most vulnerable position, darling, this person is your significant other (for some, I’m definitely getting a very strong soulmate energy), so there’s nothing to be ashamed of for you to express yourself freely. It’s going to be a roller-coaster ride, but darling, this month, it’s going to be worth it for you. I feel like through all of this expression of love, both of you would come to this realisation that you would want nobody else but your person.

Career and Finances outlook for June 2021:

Darling, honestly, I’m hearing “there’s nothing for you to worry about” when it comes to your career and finances. I see 2 scenarios here. Firstly, I feel like if you’ve been very obsessively thinking about a current financial situation, or obsessively worrying about this situation. There is really nothing for you to worry about when it comes to this situation because while it may seem like everything is rather bleak and dark right now, things will slowly brighten up over the next few weeks. In fact, I do feel like this worry that you have is rather unnecessary, and it’s only creating more blockages for you in regards to your career and financial situation. I do feel that partnerships are important for you as well, so why not focus on your work partnerships, instead of worrying about this future that has not yet arrive. Remember, nothing is yet set in stone, and you have the power to change your current future. As for the second scenario, I’m getting very strong Capricorn vibes, so you might be a Capricorn or have Capricorn strong in your chart. But the message that I’m getting is that you might be prone to overworking yourself, or wanting to overwork yourself this month because things might have been hard on you financially and it’s creating this anxiety within you. And darling, I feel like you’re asked to just take a break. Or in fact, the message that I’m getting is “it’s okay to take a break”. I feel like you’re asked to have that work-life balance and know that it’s okay for you to just simply have fun for this month. Everything will fall in place as it should. Don’t overwork yourself, darling!

Pile 2

The Wild Offering: POSITIVITY – If you can find even one thing to be grateful for, it will restore you to the light. Please, dear God, let me always feel gratitude for something, even a tiny thing, in even the hardest situations.

Psychic Tarot for the Heart: NURTURE – The Empress

Astrological: VIRGO

Angel Answers: BIG, HAPPY CHANGES

Lovers Oracle: Be careful for what you are projecting, for the qualities you admire in one another are qualities you both possess. Equally so, the qualities you don’t like are also your own reflection.

Tiny Tarot: Queen of Wands, The Sun, The Chariot

General outlook for June 2021:

I feel like things might not have been so great for you, in general, over the past few months. And I say it, in the sense that this kinds of feels like no matter how much you try, you just can’t seem to get out of negative situations and it acts as a vicious cycle. You just constantly get beaten down by life over the past few months. But darling, in this month, I do sense big, happy changes on its way and you are asked to be positive about your future. I know things have been hard for you and I’m not saying that I can fully understand because everyone goes through different things, but trust that this month, things are definitely changing for the better. I feel like whatever that you have been giving to the Universe, you will be receiving them back. So, why not try to present a positive outlook, and to raise your vibrations so that the Universe can match these vibrations and to give back this energy to you as well. I do feel with the Virgo card, that you might be a Virgo, or could be dealing with one, or someone who is a Virgo would be very significant for you this month. But what I’m getting is also this sense of discipline, very much tied in with the 6th House, it’s important for you to change your mindset and to set out this routine for yourself so that you are ready to receive all of this abundance that is coming in for you. Darling, mindset is very important, so please remain positive and you’ll start to see these changes coming in for you!

Love outlook for June 2021:

For my singles, I feel that there is going to be someone new coming in for you this month. And I do sense that this is someone that you already know. This doesn’t necessarily have to be an ex, or someone that you are currently dealing with. But what I’m getting is that this is someone who is working on things with you, on a very slow pace. You could be dealing with a Virgo or someone with strong Virgo in their chart. But I’m getting that this person is someone who is sort of a perfectionist and they want to make sure that everything is perfect before they bring things to a higher level as time goes by. This is why I feel that this is someone who is in your immediate circle, trying to set things right first before moving things along. As for those who are single but currently dealing with someone, one message (for a specific someone, I don’t know who has to hear this, but this is for you) is that someone has been trying to change you. I feel like this person feels that they are trying to bring you to your best capabilities but darling, you don’t have to change for anyone, if you don’t want to. I feel like deep down, this person might be insecure about themselves which is why, in the name of love, they try to change you to become “better” but I see that you know exactly where you stand, and please, don’t change yourself if you don’t want to. I see that you are that confident and powerful individual and this person will start to realise that their insecurities got the better of them. As for others, I feel that the dynamics might have change between the both of you and you are feeling a little confused as to why things have changed the way that it has. I do see that you are asked to reflect on your actions and to work on this partnership, if you would want to. It’s going to take some time to let this situation return to the way it was, but I do feel that this time round, it would be way more solid and stable than it was used to. Transformation is needed in this situation, so please don’t be afraid of this change!

For those in a relationship, I see that there might be a new level of commitment coming in for you, for some, this can be a proposal, or moving in, or even marriage. I feel like in the midst of this shift from one state of commitment to another, there might be some dilemma and conflict. But darling, I do see that you are asked to not be afraid of this conflict but to face them directly. Be truthful but be loving with your partner as well. I feel like through this conflict, or whatever that is coming in between the both of you, you would start to see new things and new perspective that you’ve not seen before. And for those who are in a separation with your partner, I do see big, happy changes on its way for this connection, and that is only if you want this reconciliation to take place. Remember, you are in power and if you don’t want this reconciliation, do take yourself into consideration and say no. But for those who want this reconciliation, I do feel that it is important for you to be truthful to not only your partner but yourself, as to why this ending would take place. Only then, can you both welcome this new beginning!

Career and Finances outlook for June 2021:

I feel like for this month, your hard work will be paying off and for those who are waiting to hear good news in regards to your job, it is coming! This can come in the form of a pay raise, a new job offer, a promotion and I do see travel involved in regards to this job for some of you. I feel like this is something that you’ve been waiting to hear as well and darling, I just see you feeling very completed within your career and finances. So, I feel like if things are not going smoothly for you in regards to your career, you are asked to continue working hard. Your effort will be paying off and big, happy changes are definitely on its way. I feel like for some of you, this is not going to happen immediately for this month, but it’s going to take a few months (especially during the next Virgo – Libra season) but this is going to be so worth it for you. So please, don’t give up now, darling!

Pile 3

The Wild Offering: ENJOYMENT – Striving and pushing makes life into endless hard work. The more you’re inviting Love to take over, the more enjoyment comes. Allow me to enjoy this life, dear Lord!

Psychic Tarot for the Heart: CONTROL – Strength

Astrological: SOL

Angel Answers: WITHIN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS

Lovers Oracle: TIME – You are trying too hard. Give it time.

Tiny Tarot: The Empress, Death, The Lovers

General outlook for June 2021:

I feel like for this month, you are asked to heal. Heal from your past wounds, past traumas, past hurts. I feel like a very strong message for you for this month is to “take a break”. Please take a break, darling, and please know that you deserve this break. I feel like with both the Star and the 4 of Swords, these 2 cards speak of inaction. To me, I see the Star as you taking a step back, retreating into the back scene and simply healing. And that’s what the 4 of Swords is all about, rest. I feel like you’ve been working too hard to want to fulfil something in your life, and you need to give it some time for this to come into fruition. So, why not take a break while the Universe works things in your favour. It’s time for you to enjoy life, darling. And honestly, I feel like this takes a lot of courage and strength to even try to take a break. In our current society, I feel like people might judge you for simply not doing anything but really, that’s all they see on the surface. Do they see the shadow work that you’re doing behind the scenes, or you simply trying to piece yourself back together after being torn apart repeatedly while trying to achieve your goals? No, they don’t. And you might feel fearful to even stop because you are afraid that you would be left behind. But darling, your goals are different from their goals. Everyone has a different set of goals that they have to achieve, so why do you want to be the same as others. Please, take a break and learn to enjoy life. Spend some time with your family, friends, your significant other and even your children or your pets. You need to take a break before you can move on to the next stage of your life.

Love outlook for June 2021:

For my singles, I feel like there has been something that you are holding on very tightly to. And this can refer to something that has already ended but you refused to let it go. Or this can also refer to something that you know should end but you just refused to move on. Whatever it is, this ending has to happen and this ending will happen whether you like it or not. But one thing about endings is that, endings can only bring about new beginnings and that is something that I like about Death. Honestly, I feel like this card when presented itself, is here to serve as a reminder that there are some things that we are holding on too tightly and that it’s causing a lot of decay and destruction in our lives. And darling, I feel like only by accepting this ending, can you then bring about a new beginning. And this new beginning will come. For those who are single (and not dealing with anyone), I feel like as soon as you let these past hurts go, as soon as you gain that strength and courage to move on from your past, this new person will come in and they will come in fast. I feel like it’s going to catch you by surprise, but it will be a pleasant surprise. And in fact, I feel like this new person could be a strong soulmate connection as well. As for those who are single (and dealing with someone), I feel like this can really go both ways – either this connection ends and a new person comes in, or as you start to put in the work on yourself, you welcome a new beginning within this connection. And this really depends on how things play out between the both of you within the month. But I do see promising beginnings coming in for all my singles out there over the next few months.

For those in a relationship, I feel like you have been holding on too tightly to something. This can be a past mistake, or a past hurt. I feel like some things were not addressed clearly and it has created this burden within you (or your partner, take as it resonates). And I feel like as time passes by, this feeling only accumulates further and it’s weighing heavily on your (or your person’s) mind. I do see that you are asked to let things go, but do things slowly. It’s not going to happen overnight. Because unlike the Tower, while Death brings about sudden endings, these endings don’t happen overnight. This kinds of ties in with the idea that due to these accumulations of heavy emotions, things are slowly decaying within this connection. But let go of these heavy feelings (if it’s you) and if it’s your partner, try to talk things out with them, truthfully but lovingly. I feel like you are asked to make a decision within this month and it’s going to take a lot of strength and courage to make this decision but trust that your angels are there to protect you. So, if things really need to end between the both of you, make that decision based on what your heart wants. Your heart space will feel so much freer as time goes by. Open up your heart space and be truthful to yourself, darling!

Career and Finances outlook for June 2021:

I feel like in regards to your career and finances, a wish fulfilment is definitely on its way and I feel like this is something that you’ve been wishing for. Or in fact, you have been working on it, and this reward is coming in, in the sense of a wish fulfilment for some of you. I feel like work connections are pretty significant for you this month and in fact, for some of you, I’m getting the message that you need to balance out your work and your romantic relationships well for this month. So, maybe that is the decision that you have to make in regards to your career and romance for this month. As for others, I feel like this month, you might be seen greatly under the spotlight and this will help to bring in more opportunities for you to expand your business (for those with your own businesses) or to simply upgrade yourself within your field. I feel like opportunities are going to come in for you but it’s really up to you to reach out and to catch these opportunities. One message that I’m getting is also to be careful for what you wish for. Things may have been working out in your favour and it might seem too good to be true, but that is only because you’ve put in the hard work previously and the Universe is rewarding you for them now. So, it’s going to require hard work on your end to achieve your goals and not to simply just wish for them to come true!

[yashashveeroy]

✨To my Royal Subjects,

Today I want to say a few things to you.

As all of you know, I’m very new here. I joined April of 2021 and it’s been quite a journey ever since. I’m so happy and grateful for all the support I’ve been shown here and I’ve met such beautiful people who I’ve deeply connected with.

Here comes the real situation. While I love astrology and everything else that is occult, I’m a little confused about being here on Tumblr. It seems that everyone who is into Astrology is leaving. All the good ones, especially the creators/astrologers/intuitives. I feel like there’s no use for me here but at the same time the occult calls out my name. It keeps demanding my attention. I’m ready to give it my all but how do I when I see that everyone’s journey with it is coming to an end and they’re leaving. I keep thinking to myself “so what if I start now? People won’t be interested in my stuff, astrology doesn’t interest them anymore it seems”. I feel like leaving before even starting anything here. I get scared when I think “what if in the future I give up my love for astrology too?”, this thought pains me.

When I really started doing “Big 3” interpretations, I wanted to bring something new to you guys, a different perspective on the way we view traditional concepts in astrology, and I did! I’m proud of myself for that. But when I published my first astrology post I felt so happy yet sad. Happy because it was so well received by you guys and sad because I felt this negative energy go around in the community for the longest time that is making everyone feel miserable. Myself included. It made me feel like I should just leave without even giving it a try. Without even sharing my knowledge or different interpretations of certain astrological concepts with you guys. This seemed to really take me down.

Suddenly I thought of the ones who are new to the occult. I thought of the ones who are lost when it comes to beginning this journey and who ask questions like “Where do I begin?, I need a way to access these resources”. The ones who are curious and think to themselves “I’m done with this, but what’s next?” Or “But why is no one looking at it this way?” Or “why is this called a malefic when all I see is benefit here?”. I know how you guys feel. I never had anyone teach me these things. A lot of us take the route of self help here and I admit, there are dark days to it. But we make it eventually, that’s the beauty of it. Reflecting on all this I’ve decided on something.

I think, I’d love to stay. No. I know.

I want to stay. I will stay.

I’ll be here. If I’ve been called to practice and study this beautiful art called “Astrology”, I’ll stay. I won’t let my surrounding situations, people’s thoughts or energy decide how long I should stay here or when I should stop studying something I love so much. I’m the hungry wolf climbing this mountain alone, I’m hungrier than the wolf who’s already on top of the mountain. I’m ready to consume the knowledge and then share it with my chosen family here. I want to. And I also have this deep need to improve. To be able to help all the people who are new to this is also why I want to stay. I did not have anyone guiding me when I wanted someone, so let me become that “someone” who can help another who needs it.

Now I’d definitely tag a few creators on this post but I won’t. I wanted to tag a few and request them to stay, to stay and keep this community from becoming nothing. But I realised I cannot. Just how I’m taking control over this, I need to let the others too. Yes, I’ll feel terrible and I’ll even shed a tear or more when someone close to me in the astro community leaves but I have to understand that everything happens for a reason and everything comes to everyone’s life for a certain amount of time. For some of us this will be a passion we can’t live without even one day, for a few others it’ll be something that intrigued them but it wasn’t something they fell in love with enough to become one with. That’s how the universe works I guess. It’s inevitable.

I really don’t know how to end this letter. If you read this and felt like I’m making sense or even connecting to a part within you, I’ll be very glad. I’m hoping that I’ll be of help to this beautiful community of ours. I’m so grateful for all of you who are present here and reading this. THANK YOU!!! FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!! 💜✨

It’s 4:17 am in the morning and I have to sleep now. I have to stop venting now. I’m so tired. I’m burnt out.

Love, Roy.

[restlessfandoming]

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 2) (chilumi fic)

[part 1] 

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link]

* * *

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 2)

“This is a surprise,” Childe said, “Madame President.” 

Lumine felt like she was sweating out an entire waterfall and experiencing winter in Snezhnaya simultaneously. “Ch-Childe,” she greeted, trying to remain calm. “What are you doing here?” 

The corner of his mouth was tweaked upwards in the faintest of smirks. “I should be asking you that. Me? This is somewhere I’m expected to be. You?” His smirk grew a little bigger. “Not so much.”

“I—” She took a breath in. “I am seeing what kind of places delinquents like you congregate. Seems like I was right,” she fibbed. She put on her President persona; hopefully that was enough to convince him. 

He tilted his head, blue eyes glimmering in amusement. “Tsk, tsk. I thought our student council president would be better at lying.” He eyed the fighter’s tape still on her hands. 

She quickly put her hands behind her back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Research is research.” 

There was silence as he just stared at her, his eyes calculating—something, she didn’t know what. 

“Well, I think I’ve seen enough. Looks like I’ll just have to report you to the school tomorrow,” she said quickly, turning to scurry away. 

“Outlander.”

Lumine froze. 

“Outlander,” Childe repeated. “That’s you, isn’t it?”

She heard his footsteps coming up behind her; she didn’t look at him as he circled her, observing her. 

“Same stature, same build,” he remarked. “Definitely explains the mask.”

He knows. He knows. Lumine felt her soul deflate out of her. 

Knowing Childe, this news would be all over the school within a matter of hours. Her spotless record was ruined. Her future was ruined. 

She bit the side of her cheek. Fine; no more pretending. “Yes, I’m The Outlander,” Lumine said lowly. She cast a glare at him. “What about it?”

Childe raised his brows, surprised at her admission. “What happened to, ‘Fighting isn’t fun.’?”

“It isn’t,” she sneered. “I do it because I have to.”

His eyes squinted in confusion. “Because you have to?”

“The money.” Her fists were clenched. “I need the money.” 

He blinked, staring at her in silence once more. 

Probably thinking of some way to torture me. What’s he going to do? Extort me for money? Blackmail me? 

It doesn’t matter. My life is over as of now. All because of Childe.

She readjusted her backpack, walking out the door. “Do what you want; I’m going home.”

He didn’t stop her. 

When the door shut behind her, Lumine ran as fast as she could, not even bothering to wait for the bus; she ran all the way home, trying her best to hold back her tears. 

Arriving home, she went straight to her room, ignoring Aether’s worried questioning, and laid face down on her bed. Her heart felt like it was going to burst.

The prospect that her future was going down the drain loomed over her shoulder like a thick, black cloud. On the other hand, her head felt like it was on fire: all the frustration and anger—at Childe for being there and finding her, and at herself for being so careless—bubbling over. 

She let out a quiet scream of frustration into her pillow, then sat up. She slipped off her hand wraps, taking a deep breath. 

No. She wasn’t going to let someone like Childe ruin everything she had worked for. 

She grabbed an energy drink from her bag, sat down at her desk, and continued studying through the night. 

Now isn’t the time to give up. 

* * *

It had been three days. Three days since Lumine had run into Childe at the arena. And yet, not a single person came to her asking questions, expelling her, arresting her. 

Did...did Childe really not tell anyone? Lumine wondered as she walked through the hallways. She had barely seen him at school these past few days—only brief glimpses of him in the crowded halls. He hadn’t even been stirring up trouble like he usually did. 

Maybe he’s still planning to do something with the information, Lumine reasoned. Or...maybe...he feels sympathy. 

Whatever it was, Lumine was glad nothing had happened. It seemed like her life was carrying on like normal. Maybe it had just been some crazy nightmare she dreamed up.

“Lumine!” a cheerful voice called. 

She turned, finding her friend, Xiangling skipping towards her, along with her other friend, Mona.

“Xiangling. Mona,” she greeted happily. 

“What’s wrong, Lumi?” Xiangling asked. “Your face was all scrunched up.”

The blonde offered a small smile. “Really? I guess I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Perhaps your duties as President are too strenuous,” Mona said. “I always find it relaxing to destress in a bath of honey and rose petals.” 

Xiangling’s eyes glittered. “Sounds yummy…” She shook her head. “Ah, forget that! We’re here to ask you to help us!” 

“Some inconsiderate brutes left their gym equipment in the stairwell, blocking the entrance to our club rooms,” Mona explained. 

Lumine sighed. “Let me take a look.” 

The three travelled across the courtyard, coming to a stop outside the club activities building where many clubs had their meeting rooms, including Xiangling’s cooking club and Mona’s astrology club. 

Blocking the stairwell was, indeed, a pile of heavy-looking punching bags. 

“Left by the boxing club, no doubt,” Lumine muttered. She turned to her friends. “No worries, I’ll get these out of your way, then have a talk with the boxing club about this.” 

“But they look really heavy…,” Xiangling said.

Mona raised her brows. “Will you be able to lift those on your own?” 

No different than lifting weights. Considering her fight training, the bags would be extremely easy for Lumine to move. However, of course, to everyone who didn’t know her intense training, she was of a small stature, the punching bags very obviously bigger than her. 

But it was her friends who needed help, and they wouldn’t be overly suspicious of her. 

“It’s fine,” Lumine reassured. “It’s just like...physics, right?” Judo, more like. “I just have to utilize my center of gravity versus its weight.” 

She grabbed the chain at the top of the bag, positioning it so it sat on her shoulder. Then, she swung her leg back, kicking the bottom while simultaneously pulling it, sending it flying over her shoulder, and out of the way. Just like a judo flip. She repeated it for the other bags until the staircase was cleared. 

“Wooow,” Xiangling sighed in awe. “You’re amazing, Lumi!”

“Very much so,” Mona agreed. 

Before Lumine could say it was no big deal, Xiangling leaned in a bit. 

“Say, isn’t that Childe, looking this way?” the cook whispered. 

The three glanced in the direction she was looking, and sure enough, the tall ginger was standing nearby, his blue eyes fixed on Lumine. 

Immediately, Lumine felt her fists clench. “Need something?” she gritted out. 

He blinked at her, then let out an amused chuckle, turning and walking away. Lumine glared daggers into his back until he was out of sight. 

“He’s so cool,” Xiangling said dreamily. “And so handsome.” 

Lumine rolled her eyes. Xiangling fawned over anyone remotely good-looking like they were food. She remembered a time when the cook looked at her like she was the best roast pig on the market. 

“He may have the looks,” Mona conceded, “but unfortunately, he doesn’t seem very interested in girls. He’s rejected every single confession he’s ever gotten—and that’s a lot.” The pigtailed witch put her hands on her hips. “Not very good karma in the stars for him, if you ask me.” 

Oh. Lumine almost laughed. Maybe he just didn’t tell anyone because he’s not interested?

Yes, that must be it. He was so uninterested, it would serve him no purpose to meddle in her life. 

Hopefully that means he stops causing me trouble wherever he goes. 

* * * 

Childe. 

Childe was in her manager’s office. 

Before any fight, Lumine had to report to the overseer of the arena, a man named Kaeya Alberich; he was in charge of paying her, and was the only person in the arena who knew her true identity. He had let her continue fighting because she was good at it—and he was in the business of putting on a good show. 

And now, Kaeya was talking to Childe. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” Lumine asked. 

Next to Kaeya, Childe gave her a smile like nothing was wrong. 

“Lumine! Perfect timing,” Kaeya said. “We have a proposition for you.”

“We?”

“Yes, me and Tartaglia here were discussing your future in this field,” Kaeya explained. 

Lumine’s face scrunched in confusion. “Tartaglia?” she echoed, looking at Childe, who innocently nodded. 

“Of course! Where are my manners? Lumine, this is Tartaglia; he’s a very prominent figure in our...community.” The older gentleman smiled. “And Tartaglia says he already knows who you are?” 

“We’re friends,” Childe supplied. 

“Friends?” Kaeya chuckled. “Lumine, you should have told me you knew Tartaglia.” 

“I don’t,” Lumine interjected. 

“We have a very odd way of joking,” the ginger said, winking at Lumine. 

Kaeya shrugged. “Anyhow, let’s get down to business.” He looked at Lumine. “How do you feel about Tartaglia being your new coach?”

Lumine choked on her spit. My...coach?!

“What...what does that mean?” she managed to get out. 

“Well, we both agreed that you seem like… a big fish in a small pond nowadays,” Alberich explained. 

“As your coach,” Childe said. “I can get you into different fighting arenas with my connections. More room for you to grow. And of course, more money.” 

“No,” Lumine said, almost instantaneously. Both men made a face. She continued, narrowing her eyes at Childe, “I don’t need your help.” Childe crossed his arms. 

Kaeya let out a nervous laugh. “Now, now, Lumine, this could be really good for you—”

“I’ll see you after the match for payment.” With that, Lumine rapidly left the room. 

Who the hell did Childe think he was? Barging into her life like this? 

She didn’t take handouts. If she wanted something, she’d get it, on her own. After her father left her family heartbroken and penniless, she learned that the hard way: she couldn’t rely on anyone else. 

During her match that night, she saw Childe sitting in one of the front rows, his eyes never leaving her. 

Damned creep, she thought as her fist slammed into her opponent, effectively winning the match. The crowd’s cheers swelled. See? I’m perfectly fine on my own. 

* * * 

“U-Uhm, Madame President?” Bennett called nervously. 

Lumine looked up from her laptop as she was typing in preparation for the student council meeting later. “Yes, Bennett?” 

“I, uhm, may have misplaced some of my reports for this week,” he admitted. 

Aether offered a smile. “That’s okay, Bennet,” Aether reassured. “We’ll go look for them.”

Lumine sighed and shook her head. “We have to turn them in tonight.” Knowing Bennett’s luck, the reports were probably at the bottom of the ocean somehow. “I’ll just rewrite them all later.”

Her twin looked at her, concerned. “Lumine, that’s a lot of work. Let me write them.”

Bennett tried to offer to rewrite them as well, but Lumine held her hand up. “I’m the President, it’s nothing to me. You two just worry about your other council duties, okay?” 

Bennett and Aether exchanged defeated looks—their President was stubborn, and once she had her mind set on something, there was no way of convincing her otherwise. 

Later, as the sun cast its sunset oranges through the windows of the empty school, Lumine still remained, hard at work typing away Bennett’s missing reports. 

Her head ached, but she still had a mountain of homework and student council paperwork to finish, not to mention preparing for work tonight. She let out a fit of coughs, before forcing herself to return to her work. 

“So I figure you’re some type of masochist,” Childe’s voice rang from the doorway. 

Lumine sighed, not having enough energy to be angry. “Do you need something?” she asked. 

“You know, you’ve practically worked yourself to death these past few days,” he said. “While I admire your resilience, it’s not healthy.” 

She stood, ready to throw him out of the room so she could go back to working in peace, but her head started swimming, the room becoming blurry around her, and she stumbled. Oh no—

Before she fell back, however, Childe was behind her, catching her. 

Within a second of his hands on her, she righted herself, shoving him away. “I don’t need your help,” she seethed. 

His expression was unreadable, his mouth in a tight line. “I see,” he said, robotically, before walking out of the room. 

Breathing heavily, she sat back in her chair, hand on her burning forehead. Shit…

* * * 

Just make it through the match. Just make it through the match. Lumine kept chanting to herself.

She was definitely coming down with something, her whole body rolling with heat, but she couldn’t afford to let it affect her—not when she had so many things that needed to get done. 

She wished Aether was with her, he would’ve made her feel better. But he was called in for work tonight at the grocery store, so she walked through the run-down streets alone. 

She was in a more dangerous part of town, but she and Aether had figured out certain routes to walk where they didn’t run into anyone else. 

Tonight, however, Lumine noticed a lone man coming towards her. She clenched her fist, ready to strike if needed. She got closer and closer to him, her muscles tensing with each step. 

She passed him, and nearly let out a sigh of relief. 

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrist from behind, twisting her arm against her back. 

Lumine cried out in shock, weakly trying to break out of his grasp. On any other night she could have easily taken him. Damn this sickness—!

She couldn’t stop him as his other hand inched closer to her jacket. She closed her eyes.

WHAM!

Lumine felt her arm get released, and she opened her eyes, turning around. 

The man who attacked her was on the ground, knocked out, and Childe stood over him, shaking out his hand after his powerful punch. 

“Childe?” she breathed out. Feeling lightheaded again, she found herself reaching out for him, unable to speak. 

Again, he caught her, but this time she didn’t force him away.

His hand was on her forehead, his other hand wrapped around her waist to support her. “You’re burning up,” he said. 

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, Childe.” 

He softly chuckled. “It’s okay. Just rest now,” he murmured back. 

Nodding against his hand, she let herself relax, for the first time in forever. All her exhaustion came flooding in, and she quickly passed out in Childe’s arms. 

* * *

[part 3]

[shoichee]

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!���

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

[writtenonreceipts]

If you're taking prompts, maybe for feysand - Person A catches a bus home everyday, but today, they're so exhausted that they fall asleep, suddely they feel a light tap on their shoulder and open their eyes to see person B smiling at them. "Sorry to wake you, but this is your stop, i hope you slept well"

<33

Oh my darling anon, I am always eager for prompts! Thank-you for sending this in! I altered just a few minor things, ie trains and not not busses and the diologue is just worded diff... and then over indulged in my own whims and fancies, just a touch.

2.7K words of fluff and awkwardness...all i know is awkwardness so ya know...

 #

Strangers and Favors

Exhausted.  Tired.  Sleepy.  There were far too many ways to describe what Feyre was feeling.  Not even the coffee in her hands was doing anything to give her the boost she needed.  

Amid the chill of morning and the slowly growing light of dawn, Feyre found herself hurrying from her car in the park-and-ride lot.  She practically flung herself up the small steps that led to the train platform and into the first train car she was near. 

She’d been running late that morning and nearly missed her alarm.  Alis had been a dear and poured her coffee in a thermos, but Feyre hated the feeling of being rushed.  Especially after a poor night's sleep.  And when it was five thirty in the morning.

Feyre slipped into a seat before she could finally tell herself to breathe.  She’d made it onto her train with only a few minutes to spare.  Thankfully there were other straggling passengers filtered into the train car and made their way to their various seats.

Feyre took a long sip of her coffee and tried to convince herself that she wasn’t really tired.  Even though it was far too early to be awake and she had an hour and a half train ride to sit through.  

Dawn had barely begun to rise over the horizon with not even the promise of pink and blue streaks through the sky.  She sighed and drew out her sketch pad.  

She was barely into starting the picture--of what she had no idea--when the train started moving and a form fell into the seat across from her.

Feyre blinked and glanced up.

There were plenty of other open seats lining the train.  Granted the place she’d found herself was the only one with a small table set up, but still.  

Sitting across from her was a man far too attractive for his own good.  He wore a black suit with a deep navy-blue button up beneath.  No tie, only the top few buttons of his shirt undone giving a peak at a series of tattoos on his chest.  His black hair was styled in a neat wave revealing a chiseled jaw and glorious eyes.

Feyre tore her gaze away before she could be accused of staring.  But honestly, who could blame her?

Over the course of the train ride, Feyre finished her coffee and scribbled out at least four pages worth of drawings.  Unfortunately, inspiration didn’t strike.  Not that it was surprising.  She’d not drawn anything new in months.  Oh, she’d tried.  She could sit for hours on this train, on her balcony, or out in the middle of the forest with a pencil in one hand and paper in the other--and nothing.  Nothing would come.

Alis always told her that she couldn’t force herself to draw.  She couldn’t force herself to be inspired if she didn’t make the conscious choice.  But Alis didn’t understand that sometimes, it was too damned hard.

The train ride passed without excitement.  Not even the man across from her did anything interesting.  Figured.  He was so attractive his life had to be mundane.  At least, that was what Feyre told herself while she was not covertly looking at him

She was glad to get off the train when it reached the city.  After making sure she had her things, she slipped out and onto the platform without trouble.

#

Chaos was not something she enjoyed.  

Especially not lately.  As long as everything was in its place of simplicity, life could continue on as normal.

Honestly, if Feyre could have chosen a simple life involving nothing more than eating donuts she would have chosen it.  Because living in a state of missed calls and impatient clients and looming deadlines was far from her state of happiness.

With a bag of donuts from Rita’s bakery in one hand, Feyre collapsed in her seat at the end of the day.  She’d managed to leave work five minutes early giving her enough time to swing into Rita’s and grab a few treats.  And she would not apologize for it.

“Long day?” 

Feyre glanced up to see the man from that morning taking a seat across from her.  He had an amused sort of expression on his face which made it even harder to look away.  Feyre snatched a frosted chocolate donut from her bag and glared at him.

“No.” She took a giant bite leaving sugar to lace around her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him.

He grinned and shook his head.

Feyre was able to finish her donut in peace and managed not to stare at the man the rest of the train ride home.

#

Life continued.  And much to Feyre’s dismay, nothing changed.

Her sketch book remained empty.  Her coffee remained dull.  Work did not improve.

Something needed to change.  But honestly, she couldn’t figure out what it was.  She’d left her ex months ago.  She’d gotten a new wardrobe, a new phone, moved in with her friend.  She’d started getting out more too.  Somewhat.  When Nesta called, which wasn’t often but at least her sister was trying.

It was five-thirty in the morning and she was seated on the train, again.  And the man who seemed to only own clothing that was black was seated across from her, again.  Since that first day of seeing him, he hadn’t tried talking to her again, which Feyre was semi grateful for.  She was certain she would just make herself look like a bigger idiot than before.

Had she really stuffed her face with that giant donut?

Not that she cared.  She could do whatever she wanted.

Except draw.

Feyre stared out the window of the train.  It was slowly starting to get lighter sooner and Feyre now had more scenery to watch instead of the reality of the empty sketchpad.

Inevitably, however, Feyre found her attention drawn to the man across from her.

There was something about him.  Feyre couldn’t place it, exactly, perhaps an energy of some kind.  Or it was his confidence.  Arrogance.  Something.  She found him mesmerizing.  How stupid was that?  A man she had said one word to and ignored for an entire month and she could help but watch him.

He did a cross word every morning.  Texting someone throughout--or else cheating and looking up the answers.  Other times she caught him reading a book about astrology or NASA’s recent magazine release.  She wanted to ask him about the astrology, it was such a fascinating topic, one that she liked learning about.  But she never knew how to strike up a conversation, so she remained silent.

She’d always been good at staying silent.  At least that was what she’d been told.

The thought came so suddenly that Feyre had to physically shake herself to make it disappear.  She sat up in her seat, hands clenching in her lap.

She snapped her attention away from the train window and forcibly removed her sketchpad from her bag.  In a fury, Feyre moved her pencil across the page.  It wasn’t the bed utensil to use, but it was better than bringing her entire art supply on the commute to work.  The pencil would suffice.

It wasn’t as though she liked being quiet.  It wasn’t as though she didn’t have anything to say.  Sometimes it was just easier.  Sometimes it was just better.  Sometimes the silence was how she communicated.  Sometimes people just didn’t understand that.

The scene came alive beneath her fingers.

Mountains and stars.  Storms and shadows.  All convalescing on a shape.  A person.  A…

Feyre frowned at the scene.  Someone was kneeling on a throne of night and she couldn’t see their face.

“Do you always glare at your art like that?”  The midnight voice broke Feyre out of her revere.  

Glance up, Feyre locked gazes with the violet eyes of the man across from her.  The crossword in his lap was complete.  Feyre realized for the first time that he was younger than she’d originally thought.  Maybe about five years older than she was.  And even though he oozed arrogance, there was almost a genuine sort of smile dancing across his lips.

“Only when it’s being difficult,” Feyre answered.  She offered a brief shrug and gestured to the crossword on his lap. “Do you always cheat at the crossword?”

He made an affronted sort of gasp. “I don’t cheat.”

“You’re always on your phone when you scribble answers in,” Feyre pointed out.  She smirked, unable to help it.

“I’m texting with a friend,” he said, “she’s always trying to finish the damned thing before me in the mornings.  All I do is offer a bit of...encouragement.”

“Right,” Feyre said doubtfully.  She shook her head, still smiling.

The man watched her, almost confused, before he leaned forward.  “And the art?  It’s the first time in over a month I’ve seen you actually draw something.”

“I was searching for the right inspiration,” she said.  And then as she found herself nearly drowning in the heat of his gaze--Feyre had what she’d been hunting for. “Sometimes it just takes a while to find.”

The train pulled to a stop where they usually got off.  Feyre collected her things and half expected the man to be right at her side when his phone went off.

He muttered something under his breath before answering it.

Feyre almost had half a mind to wait for him.  To linger on the platform and dredge up some excuse so that she could talk to him.  If only for a moment longer.  She still hadn’t asked him about the astrology book.

Instead she was swept up in the crowd of commuters.

#

For the next two weeks, Feyre was out of her mind with anxiety.

There really was no other way to describe it.  Because every morning and every evening when she would board the train there would be no sign of her mysterious companion.  Not even the sight of him running to try and catch a ride before the train completely left the station.  Not even a hint of him getting on a different compartment one day by accident.  Nothing.

So, naturally, her mind told her that it had something she’d done.  Something she’d said.  Hell.  She hadn’t even done anything that stupid.  Aside from stuffing a whole ass donut in her mouth.

She was an idiot.

Eventually she was able to push thoughts of her mysterious companion aside.  Not only was she drawing again, but her workload had increased.  And now she was getting up earlier and staying later and her schedule was entirely too chaotic.  

She really missed the simpler days of dashing into Rita’s or relaxing on the train bench not staring at the man across from her.

After two weeks of commuting alone and another two weeks of being run ragged at work, Feyre finally found herself being able to return to a normal timeline.  Somewhat.  At least she was going to be able catch her usual train home and get home before ten o’clock.

Feyre fell into her seat and leaned up against the window of the train.  She didn’t mean to fall asleep.  Not really.  But as soon as she was seated and relaxed her eyes drifted shut and she was gone.

The next thing Feyre knew there was a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry to wake you, but this is your stop,” said an all too familiar voice.

Feyre’s eyes snapped open and she nearly flung out a fist to the shape in front of her.

“I take it you slept well?” Her mysterious companion snatched out a hand and caught hers before it made contact.  He gave her a cheeky grin. “You didn’t even twitch between all the other stops.”

Feyre blinked up at him.  Sleep still addled her brain and he was making no sense whatsoever.

“What?” she finally managed to spit out.

“Your stop?” he said, jutting a thumb to the train doors. 

Feyre cursed, loudly, and jumped up. “I barely even closed my eyes,” she grumbled.

“Here, let me,” her companion grabbed her bag for her and helped her off the train before it took them all the way south to Hybern.

“Thanks,” Feyre said as they stepped out onto the platform.  She accepted her bag from him and gave him a smile. “It’s been a long couple of weeks I guess.”

In the still fading evening light, Feyre was able to see his easy smile and the way his eyes crinkled softly.  His black hair was tousled easily as if he’d been running his hands through it recently.

“It’s not a problem,” he said, “in fact I was surprised to even see you.  It’d been a few weeks.”

Feyre blinked.  He’d noticed she wasn’t on at her usual time?

“You were gone for a while too,” she said without thinking.  You idiot.

Her words seemed to catch him by surprise, but not for long.  A gleam flashed in his eyes.

“You noticed, did you?”

“You noticed me,” she shot back quickly.

They stood in silence as the train moved on with a loud whistle and the last few men and women passed them by hurrying to catch their connecting busses or get to their cars.

His smile stretched into a full grin. “I’m Rhysand.”

“Feyre,” she said, returning the smile.   She then noticed the small paper bag he held in one hand.  Immediately, Feyre recognized the logo on the outside.  “Rita’s?  That’s my favorite place to stop at after work.”

“Yeah, uh,” Rhysand said as he ran a hand through his hair, “I noticed and decided to give it a try.”

“And?” Feyre pressed.

“I have you to blame for my new addiction,” he said.

Feyre laughed, shaking her head.  “I take full responsibility, though I will not apologize.”

Rhysand paused only for a moment before he glanced at her and an almost sheepish smile crossed his features. “Have you been to Dreamer’s? It’s a late-night coffee shop on Main.”

“I haven’t, but I’ve been meaning to,” Feyre admitted.

“My treat,” he said almost immediately.  “I mean, if you want.  You can tell me about what helped you find the inspiration to start drawing again.”

Feyre blinked at him remembering that train ride over a month ago now where she’d finally been able to draw more than a few measly lines.  And she realized now as she watched a halo of light glimmer from the setting sun around his head that all this time she’d been trying to draw him in the outline of mountains and stars.

“Deal,” Feyre said. “But you should know, I don’t give up my secrets lightly.”

Rhysand quirked a brow. “Noted.”

They spent hours sharing secrets.  The small kinds, the simple kinds.

Feyre learned that Rhysand’s brother had broken his leg playing football and needed surgery which was why he’d disappeared for a few weeks.  She learned that it was his mother who taught him about astrology before she died not that long ago.  And now he spent most of his time trying to avoid his father.  

She’d told him about her love of painting, of art, of creating.  Anything that made her feel alive.  She’d told him about walking out on her old life and how here she was six months later and still desperate for change.

They were both trying, it turned out, to become something different.

It wouldn’t be until later that night--after sunset when the inky black sky gave way to the millions of stars overhead--that Feyre found herself home.  Rhysand, of course, made sure she’d arrived safe and she’d rewarded him with a brush of her lips to his cheek and a small smile over her shoulder.

It wouldn’t be until later that night--amid the cool mid-spring air that promised a new dawn--that Feyre would pull out her sketch pad.  She would draw sharp lines and angular features and a man kneeling amid the night.  She would draw power and beauty in something, someone, she didn’t know perfectly.  But one day.  One day, maybe she would.

#

thanks for reading my dears!  i am always eager and open from prompts so thanks for sendin gthem!  I really do enjoy them!

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