#i’m feeling good today! i finally got a job on my campus

[stockholmgf]

reminder that i’m not only hot and funny but also very smart!!!!

[rimunagenius]

The One Where You Royally Screw Up.

ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x Roommate!reader

ʚ word count: 3.1k words

ʚ warnings: RPF!! , slight smut, fingering, angst, use of ‘y/n’ if that even is one

ʚ rimunagenius speaks: part 4 is FINALLY here!! i’m so sorry for the delay, it was supposed to release friday but the cold i had thought i was getting over got worse in a span of hours so i said id release it on saturday, but i spent all my saturday in bed asleep bc i have the worst headache and nausea from the cold, and then today it was supposed to release early but the ending never got saved and i realized i had a communications test to take so i had to finish writing it and revising after…but it’s here!! finally. so this is angst so sorry, but trust, the pining and sexual tension that’s to come is gonna be worth it!!!

Part 4

| Series Masterlist |

This felt wrong. You knew it wasn't the best way to cope with the feelings you had realized you were harboring for Kate.

But you needed to get over it. You couldn't possibly be this self destructive, and let yourself fall your roommate. She let you live in her apartment, and gave you grace when you didn't help pay rent for the first two months, trying to find a new job.

She deserved better than to have a friendship ruined just because you loved liked her. It wasn't fair. But this didn't feel fair to you either. Kissing Juliana in the backseat of her car was the last place you wanted to be. This should be Kate. For a moment you thought it was.

That's how you ended up here. Over the span of several months since reporting Nick, he was removed off  campus and was doing time. You and Kate had celebrated the accomplishment and never spoke about it again.

Since then you two have been a lot closer. "Sleeping over" in eachothers room. Cuddling more on the couch. It all started that night you both skipped practice. You knew where it was going, so did she. But the inevitable outcome if the actions you two were so good at doing were going to ruin you both. You couldn't have that. That's why you took Juliana up on the date two months ago. You guys made it official that month.

You couldn't have what you and Kate so desperately wanted, cause when you were getting ready, you saw the way Kate watched you. The longing looks she gave you as she sat on the couch next to you, while you did your makeup.

The way you looked absolutely gorgeous in the outfit you wore out to dinner, how she wished she was the one having you on her arm, how she was the one seen in public with you, and got to bring you home at the end of the night. But she wasn't, so she tried not to make it a thing when you came home the next morning. Or when you two made it official.

"You like that?" Juliana whispered in your ear, a small giggle escaping her lips that you could feel throughout your body.

Your panting echoed in the car, while your hands traveling all over her body. Throwing your head back, you moaned as her fingers curled inside of you, fingertips brushing against the soft spongey part inside you. "Oh—Kate." You moaned it before you could even think.

Your body froze, any expecting orgasm thrown out the window. Her fingers paused, softly but swiftly removing her fingers from your sopping cunt. Grabbing a towel in the pocket behind the passenger seat, Juliana avoided looking at you while she cleaned the remnants of you off her hands.

"So, you guys aren't just friends?" Juliana knew that you and Kate were close, she didn't mind. Really. But she saw the way you looked at Kate when she'd leave after dropping you off at class. She saw the way Kate watched everything you did with a look on her face that made it seem like you hung the moon.

"What—that's not—I didn't mean—" You couldn't even think. How could you totally embarrass yourself and do that to Juliana. You didn't even know why you said it. In the far back of your mind, you guess you wished it was Kate. But you thought that was just the mere thought of your fantasies talking.

You've imagine what'd it'd be like to sleep with Kate, hell, every gay woman in America probably has. But that was just a fantasy. You liked Jules. Atleast you thought you did.

"No, tell me right now. Are you and Kate more than friends? I need to know so I don't think I have a chance with you." Julianas eyes were pleading. Sad. She wanted you two to work; she really liked you.

"We're not more than friends." You made sure to look her in the eyes when you said it. You didn't know if it was convince her, or to convince yourself. Maybe if you looked sincere and she believed it, then you would.

"But you want to be, right? Why else would you moan her name while i'm trying to fuck you?" Juliana wasn't mad, she just wanted to know why. Why did you go through with this, sleeping with her, knowing you wished she was someone else.

You couldn't answer her. You didn't know how. You looked down, grabbing your black tank top and sliding it over your head.

"I honestly have no idea, Jules." The name suddenly felt so foreign rolling off your tongue in this context. Juliana winced at the nickname. Suddenly feeling angry about it now.

"Don't call me that. Why did you say her name?" The next pieces of clothing to go on was your black biker shorts and underwear. Fixing your white tube socks, you searched for your shoes.

"I don't know." Was that all you could say to her? She surely deserved more than what you were giving, and you sure as hell weren't giving her anything.

"Stop saying I don't know and just say you like her. That's all I need to hear." Juliana's voice rose as you grabbed your ankle boot docs, sliding them on your feet.

"I don't like her, Jules—I mean, Juliana. I don't like her, okay?" Who were you kidding? Repeating the four words wasn't convincing anyone in the car.

"Jesus Christ, Y/n! Are you fucking kidding me!?" Now she was getting irritated. "You do! There...it's out in the open. Why didn't you just tell me before letting me think that I had a chance?" Her eyes went glassy, now turning pink.

"I don't know why I said it, okay? I think I do like her, and I know it's wrong for imagining her instead of you. You don't deserve that—"

"You're right. I don't." Juliana stepped out of the car, her never taking her clothes off, only aiming to please you, missing. She held the door open, so you could slide out. "Look, I'm not mad at you. I guess it's my fault for falling for you even after I saw how you looked at her."

Watching tears fall down her face, it brought tears to yours. You didn't mean to hurt her. You should've figure your shit out before starting anything. You should've figure out your feelings for Kate.

Thinking you could fill the void with a relationship and sex with another woman, without talking to someone about how you felt, was something only transactional on your end. You hurt someone's feelings because you couldn't figure out your own. How could you jump into a relationship with her?

"No, it's not your fault. I was so stupid for starting something with you—not that you're not great, because you are. But because I should've known what I was doing was wrong. It wasn't fair to you, I'm so sorry." You wiped a tear off her face, your frown deepening as you saw the hurt in her eyes grow.

"Give yourself some grace. I wouldn't know what it's like to fall inlove with someone i've been friends with for so long. It must be hard. But just—don't do this to someone else. Figure out your feelings first." Juliana turned and opened the passenger side door, you closing the backseat passenger door. She handed you your clip and your bag.

"Figure it out with Kate." She gave you a tight lipped smile, before waking around the front of her car and getting inside the drivers seat. You nodded your head, and decided you had to tell Kate.

Walking back to the apartment gave you plenty of time to think. You've been doing that so much lately, you don't know how to anymore. What happened to you?

You haven't recorded vlogs, get ready with me's, or any content for your channel in months. Opting for the vague communication with family and friends. The spiral of trying to get Kate out of your head, and trying to shove her back into the friend zone, was so consuming. You haven't even lived your life.

You needed to say it. You needed to tell someone. You needed to figure it out.

Walking inside, you set your bag and keys down on the counter. What the fuck were you going to say? How could you tell Kate that you and your girlfriend were hooking up, and the whole time you wished it was her.

Struggling to decide on who to tell, you settled for embarrassing yourself to a friend, who you knew would help you. Scrolling to find Jadas name in your contacts, you pressed her contact and listened to the phone ring.

"Hey, Jada!" You said when she answered the phone.

"Hey! What's up? You're coming to practice later, right?" Today was an off day. You usually only ever needed to be at like two practice a week.

"Today's an off day for me, and I would go as a spectator but that's why i'm calling." You swallowed the lump in your throat and sighed. This was gonna be so awkward to explain.

"Wait so you're telling me that...you're actually inlove with Kate...but you can't tell her that and because of that, you moaned her name while you were having sex with your girlfriend? Oh, that's bad, babe." You could see her face without having to see it. When you looked down at your phone, you were correct.

"I know, I know. It's super bad. I don't even know what's worse, the fact that I did that to Juliana, or the fact that she wasn't even mad about it." Recalling earliers incident, she didn't even overreact.

"Probably because she already knew. She just didn't want to see it until you did what you did. She just wanted to keep you while she had you. I get it. Happens to the best of us." Jada nodded her head and ate chips while she watched her show.

You guys ended up Facetiming halfway through the phone call so you could give proper recollection to the incident. Jada needed to see the facial expressions and everything to give her proper advice.

"Oh my god, Jada. Why do I have to feel this way for Kate?" You put your head in your hands and cried a little. You were emotionally overstimulated, the weight of your actions now weighing on you. You looked up, looking to the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, you looked down at Jada.

"Aw, you'll be okay, babe. I promise. We are all human, we all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it, just learn from it. As far as telling Kate goes, I wouldn't tell her unless you were one hundred percent sure that what you're feeling is real. And when you're ready, sit her down, don't ambush her, but sit her down and talk about it."

"What if she thinks I'm literally crazy and so weird and she kicks me out?" You started to spiral.

"Hey, that's not gonna happen. She's a very understanding person and you know that. You've lived with her all these years for godsakes." Jada slapped her hand down on her bed, flipping her bowl of chips. "Oh my god!" She screamed. You laughed at loud, watching some fly across the screen.

The front door opened, a sluggish Kate walked through the door. She had been very tired recently; basketball and finishing school were growing to be very exhausting. She watched you laugh so hard that tears were falling down your face. A scream laugh, that grew quiet, a loud gasp following which she recognized as Jada's laugh through the phone speaker. She walked over and sat down on the couch next to you, resting her head on your shoulder to say hi to her other best friend. "Hi, Jada!" She smiled big into the camera, her sleepy and drowsy mood suddenly vanishing.

You put your hand on Kate's cheek, patting it softly. You looked at Jada through the screen. Your eyes stare into hers. She nodded softly, covering it with leaning down to grab the fallen chips. You knew she was right. Kate wouldn't give you a hard time but you couldn't help but panic.

You three stayed on the phone for a little while before Jada hung up so she could leave for practice. You placed the phone in Kate's room while you sat on her bed, so she could still talk to you both while they both got ready.

Kate was on her way out the door when you stopped her, hand on her arm, "Hey, can I talk to you when you get home? It's kinda important." You were so scared to tell her. But you had to rip the bandaid off right?

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you when I get home. I love you." She closed the door behind her. You stood there for a moment, staring at the door. You had three hours to prepare yourself for tonight. How the fuck were you going to tell her?

You drove yourself insane for the last 3 hours that you were alone in the house. You cleaned the kitchen, the living room, your room, mopped the kitchen, and vacuumed every surface that could be vaccummed in the house. You took a shower, and almost changed your pajamas twice.

You finally sat on the couch, watching whatever was on, literally fucking panicking. Kate had walked through the door thirty minutes ago, cleaning herself up.

"Okay, so what did you need to tell me? You okay?" She sat on the couch next to you, smiling softly to herself when she saw you were wearing one of her old hoodies. She hasn't seen in it in so long.

"What?" You looked at her, noticing smile on her face. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Just haven't seen that sweater of mine in a long time." She adjusted how she was sitting.

"Oh, I forgot I stole this from you a long time ago." You looked to her, instantly regretting it. She was manspreading and she looked so good. You could not look at her when you told her this.

"Okay, anyways. Back to what I needed to tell you. So, Juliana and I broke up." You paused. Her face pulled into a frown.

"Aw i'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Kate reached her arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. You didn't fight it. Choosing to lean into her touch. You closed your eyes, gathering the sheer will to be able to tell her what the hell happened.

"I'm okay, Kate. I promise. But we broke up because we were hooking up in her car, and I know you said not to give you details, but it’s relevant because I moaned your name. While she was trying to fuck me.” You finally got it out, but it wasn’t helping that Kate’s face didn’t express any telling emotions.

You lifted your head from her shoulder, wincing slightly when she immediately moved a small distance on the couch. You needed her to say something but you’d get it if she didn’t. You couldn’t begin to understand the digestion of something like this.

“Oh, wow. That’s crazy.” Kate stared blankly at her slippers that she had been wearing. She was tugging on the strings of her hoodie.

“Yeah…” You were kinda let down at the reaction she had. You were expecting an immediate blow up at what you had just announced. Or some type of general reaction.

She wasn’t saying anything. You could see the gears turning in her pretty head, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. It made you more nervous than before you even told her. “Is that it? Kate?” You watched her blue eyes meet yours.

The shade of blue so pretty, and so relaxing. “What does that mean? Why?”

“Because I love you, Kate.” The sincerity in your voice hitting her like a truck. There’s no way you were finally saying these words to her. You finally said them but at the worst possible time.

“I love you, too.” She replied in the quickness. Almost instantaneous as you said them. She loved you, possibly with every bone in her body.

“No, like, romantically. Not platonically.” You clarified to make sure you heard her correctly. She sighed before speaking.

“I know, that’s why I said it back. But you know we can’t do anything about it, right?” That’s when it hit you. She wasn’t mad, she was just playing it smart. You nodded your head shortly, looking down at your hands.

“Okay, what does that mean for us, though. How exactly are we going to live together knowing there’s something here, and not do anything about it.” You thought about it, and it made sense. The final four tournament already coming. This year was crazy and passing by so fast.

They won the Big Ten tourney almost a month ago. The stress of the biggest tournament this season was coming up and a relationship, the additional stress and possible blow up of a relationship, was hard. Cultivating a new relationship at this time was stress Kate didn’t need. You couldn’t do that to her.

Kate prided herself on being level headed. That’s how she led her team so good, on and off the court. Her ability to take accountability and responsibility was unmatched, so she couldn’t understand why coming up with this resolution was so hard.

She knew it was wrong to start something she wanted to put her all in, at this moment, because she wanted to put her all into basketball. It was more important to her at this moment in time. She knew you’d understand.

“Tell me this again in a couple months, yeah?” Kate said, a small smile on her face. Trying to lighten the mood, she held her hand out.

You looked at her and then at her hand. You shook it. It was quiet for a beat, “And about the living situation, we just do it how we’ve been doing it all these years. Day by day.” Her hand that still remained in yours, pulled your body closer to hers.

This wasn’t the way you wanted to tell Kate that you were inlove with her, that you accidentally almost got off to the idea of her when your girlfriend was indeed not her, or the fact that you couldn’t start a relationship right away. But laying here, against her side, while you sat and watched whatever was on the tv to distract from the overwhelming expression of emotions was okay for now.

You knew you just needed to give it time. You two would come together. For now, you’d just have to wait. So you both sat there, counting down the days until you knew you could be together.

It was already the most insanely slow countdown of your lives.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - All's Quiet on the BL Front

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 3 of 12 - I love how were getting a solid depiction of two queers just genuinely enjoying sex with each other. That’s actually rare in BL. In this case, it manages to also be weirdly adorable and cute.

Dee is such a tease. I guess Y likes a brat? 

LOOK at those bedroom eyes!

Linguistics corner: when these two are being serious, sweet, or flirty with each other they use rao/nai which is kind of old fashioned and charming and not common in BL. They move pretty seamlessly into gu/mueng and back depending on the style of convo, tho. It's FUN to hear them talk.

Let the fake relationship commence!

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 eps - I HAVE THOUGHTS. I'm really enjoying the sinister backbone of this show. I hope they have the courage of their convictions in that regard and lean into a kind of sexy evil revenge narrative. It was a pleasure to watch the break up and I do not want a redemption arc for Ming or a romance for us. Fuck 'em, let’s just ride a revenge train, okay Joe baby?

That’s said, I totally sniffled at the ending scene where Ming (for two years!) has been paying penance cooking for two and waiting alone. Excellent pathos. Now, I understand how they're gonna make this a full 12 eps. And I’m excited about it. Carry on!

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 16 - I wasn't a fan of Winny & Satang in My School President but I'm loving them in this. The thing with Q, Toey, and Chain had me hooting with laughter. I think I’m finally just easing into the relaxed absurdity of this show. The key is not to expect anything from it. Just them being tiny gay idiots.

Two Worlds (iQIYI) ep 10 fin - Someday I’d like to really enjoy a MaxNat show, but today was not that day. (I feel like ever since Between Us I’ve been generally disenchanted with established OG pairs and what they’re bringing to the table. Perhaps that’s a discussion for another day. Cherry Magic excepted, of course.) 

OK, so this final episode, they sure tried to fit a lot in. But that made the pacing better for me. So I kinda liked this weird cliff notes resolution to the story.

In conclusion:

MaxNat do a credible job with a messy script about parallel worlds, gangsters, and strange diseases cured by forest fruits. It sounds confusing because it is. The chemistry is excellent the side pair is entirely forgotten about, and one could drive a Tardis through the plot holes. Still, I found it modestly enjoyable if not at all rewatchable. 7/10 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I do love how bold and brash Moo is. He’s truly a great character, such an utter outgoing sunshine puppy focused on his pursuit of his older boy. I'm charmed by his utter harmlessness. They gave us a sweet coming out scene, and an awesome supportive mom. Frankly GMMTV has a good track record with moms. (With a few noted exceptions, of course.)

That said, I do keep forgetting this is a GMMTV offering. It just doesn't FEEL GMMTV. Just me?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - Starts tomorrow, will report on sitch next week. LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead. But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - I like it. I like our sulky 2nd lead. He’s pouty, adorable, brash, and adding some much-needed tension to this narrative. The blurring lines between show within a show is a lot of fun. Probably the best I've seen done in BL so far.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like that we got backstory, but we also sort of already knew it. So this ep felt a bit like filler. They are wonderful when they’re on screen together but when they aren't it's a bit dull. I hope we just get them together for the next 4 eps. But this is Japan, so I doubt it.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - The image resolution on this show (via Iqiyi ) is terrible. Meanwhile, awkward crush. Jock nerd pairing. Dorky. Maybe a bit too much awkward/dorky for me? I'm not sold on this one.

Meanwhile the ordering then not eating or drinking of food continues. Very upsetting.

Boys Be Brave (Korea Viki) eps 5-8fin - This show was just never sure what it wanted to be. Slacker sunshine KiSub moves in with nerd JinWoo, mostly because he knows JinWoo likes him but won't confess and that's never happened to him before. It reminded me of some earlier KBLs like Behind Cut, yes is had bones but not much flesh, so it only just hung together and progressed through not very much plot in a jerking rattling fashion like an animated skeleton. All the story and chemistry was with the side couple and none of the screen time. That just annoyed me. What did this BL want to BE? Who tf knows. I, for one, don’t care, and resolve to think no more on it. 6/10 

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) - This ended at 4 eps on a cliffhanger. Since this is a very small studio I don’t have a lot of faith in there being a part two. But they have bundled both this BL, and the GL, bingable chunks on YT. So if you want to binge it, it’s there. Just be aware that it ends on a cliffhanger.

My thoughts?

Promising reunion romances full of class and coming out struggles but I grade with what we got, not on expectations, and you know I HATE a cliffhanger. So yeah, it HAD promise but as of now it gets a 4/10 - fatally flawed. I reserve the right to change my mind if they amend for damages.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

In case you missed it

A really really thorough and fascinating article on 2 Moons 2 and what happened.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV) - I'm hoping I can get it elsewhere since my WeTV account is inactive, but I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng... so I won't be too cut up if I can't get hold of this. More here.

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I'm a sucker for this king of casual claiming. (Only Boo)

It me! (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @sunflower-positiiivity @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[probably-writing-x]

Pictured.

Summary: hi, i loved just you!! i was wondering if you could write more about conrad and the reader being so in love that never stops. like maybe flash forward to out of college to when he proposes, then their wedding day when he cries seeing her walk down the isle? and then when they have their first child and name her after susannah 🥺 sorry if that’s super detailed

Authors Note: This is the fluffiest thing ever but I hope you love it, it was so fun to write thank you so much for your request <3

“Hello darling!”

You jump a little at the words, tilting your head back against the couch to see Conrad, “I didn’t even hear you come home!”

He grins and leans down to kiss you, your lips upside down against his, “I like the element of surprise.”

You hum in agreement and turn your head back to the task at hand.

“What are you doing?” He asks, throwing his keys down onto the dish on the fireplace before turning back to you and the mess in front of you.

“I’m trying to be organised,” You grimace a little, “But I keep getting distracted.”

“Oh my god!” Conrad laughs, sitting down on the couch beside you, “Where did you find all of these?”

He looks down at the coffee table full of photos littered in piles yet to be formed, one’s passing the decade that you’d been together.

“We look so young,” He chuckles at a photo of one of your first dates when you were only 16, the two of you grinning at the disposable camera.

“I don’t think I look any different,” You joke, brushing your finger over the youthful faces.

Conrad scoffs, “We aged well, I’d say.”

“Oh absolutely we did,” You lean your head into his shoulder, reaching forward to grab another photo, “Look at this one.”

“Wow, god, I remember this day,” Conrad beams at the photo, “It was the day we moved out of college.”

—— 5 Years Ago ——

“Alright, you’ve cleared the kitchen, I’ve done the bathroom, bedroom is done…” Conrad looks around at the space checking for anything that you’ve missed, “I think we’re good.”

It was today that the two of you would be moving out of college. For the past three years you’d been here in Stanford together after Conrad transferred and it had been a dream. You’d lived separately on campus at first and then for the last two years lived in an apartment just a short walk away, a bit of solitude for the two of you. He went to his classes and you went to yours, you came back for lunch together or met on campus and then sat in the library together when you weren’t in class. He brought you coffee when you needed to study for finals and you bought him cheeseburgers when he had his to study for. You cooked on weekdays and he cooked on weekends when he had more time to cook something fancy. You worked a job on campus and he worked a few evenings. It worked. Everything had felt like bliss for the past few years.

You weren’t ready to say goodbye.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Conrad frowns at you, setting down the box in his hands to walk over to where you were sat down on the empty mattress.

“This just feels so weird,” You mumble, glancing around at the empty shelves where your photo frames used to stand.

Conrad nods, “Yeah, yeah it does feel weird. Good weird.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “Do you think?”

Your eyes are filling with tears and you’re fighting what you can to keep them back.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Conrad crouches down in front of you and places one hand on your leg, the other cupping the side of your face, “Don’t get upset, honey.”

“It’s just,” You let out a shaky breath, “I’m not ready to leave all of this.”

“Okay, we’re graduating, we’re moving, things are going to change. But that’s not a bad thing. God, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us. Isn’t that exciting?” He smiles at you brightly, “We’ve been waiting for this since we first started college. Just you and me.”

You smile down and him and press your hand against his on your cheek, wrapping your fingers around his, “Doesn’t it scare you?”

He nods his head, “Of course. I’m terrified. But in the best way.”

You laugh a little and he brushes his thumb under your eyes before any tears have fallen.

“Now, I was going to wait before I told you,” He leans back a little and reaches into his pocket, “But I think this seems like the right time.”

You frown a little as you watch him, your heart fluttering.

“So, you know how we’d decided on living with your parents for a while until we figured out where to go next…” He takes a deep breath, “Well, you can tell them they don’t need to worry.”

“Wh-“ You let out a breath, “What do you mean?”

“Someone might’ve told me something about a little house in Cousins being free now that Jeremiah’s moving out…” He brings his hand in front of you and a distinct key lays in his palm.

“The beach house?” You exclaim, eyes wide.

“Jere’s moving closer to Belly for now until she graduates and then they think they’ll settle in Boston and come to Cousins for the summer, like we used to. So…”

“The house is yours?” You finish for him, words almost escaping you.

“It’s ours,” Conrad confirms, his face brightening.

“Oh my god!” You squeal, your hands flying to grip his shoulders, “You got us a house! You got us the beach house!”

Conrad chuckles, “Yeah, I did!”

You wrap your arms around him tightly and bury your face against his neck, breathing in the scent that would always be home to you. The two of you stand up together and he spins you around in the small space you had between boxes, before lowering you down and pressing the key into your palm.

“We might just have to set up the spare bedrooms for summer, I think we’ll have some regular visitors,” He shrugs, his arms around your waist.

You giggle, “That’s perfect, it’s all...”

“The start of the rest of our lives, darling.”

——Present Day——

“That’s when this place was officially ours,” You point out, the photo in your hands showing the two of you grinning with the key in your hand.

“Yeah, it was a long time coming,” Conrad chuckles, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm.

“I was so scared to graduate college, and now look at us,” You shake your head, “I had nothing to worry about.”

“There’s still time,” Conrad jokes and you jab him in the side.

“Oh my god! Look at this one!” You beam, “The fourth of July.”

“Yeah there was something important about the 4th that year…” Conrad smirks, taunting you.

“Yeah what could that be?” You roll your eyes.

He moves his fingers down to the thin silver chain around your neck where a single ring hung down like a pendant near your heart.

“God, I loved that day.”

—— 4 Years Ago ——

“Jere how many fireworks does one house need?” You look down at the boxes he’s carrying into the house, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Oh, come on, it’s the fourth,” Jeremiah grins, glancing at his brother, “I’ve got reason to celebrate.”

“I tried telling him it was too many,” Belly laughs as she walks in behind him, carrying a couple of bags of groceries.

“Oh you’re a lifesaver!” You smile, taking one of the bags from him, “I can’t believe I forgot so much.”

“It’s the stress of hosting,” Belly jokes, “But I’ve got you covered, I think this is everything.”

“I hope so,” You nod, “I just need to figure out how to make everything like Susannah would do.”

This was your first fourth of July hosting in this house - the first since the house had officially been yours and Conrad’s home. It would just be the six of you, the three couples - you and Con, Jere and Belly, and Steven and Taylor.

“She’d be impressed either way,” Belly squeezes your shoulder, “I’ll go help Jere set up outside.”

“Thank you,” You smile and see Conrad coming in through the door behind her.

“Hello darling,” He presses a kiss to your temple, “Tell me what you need me to do.”

“No, no, I’ve got it here,” You encourage, “Maybe you could just set up Steven and Taylor’s room?”

“It’s going to be perfect,” He reassures you, squeezing your hand, “It’ll be a Fourth of July to never forget!” He yells back to you as he disappears upstairs.

You giggle and turn back to finishing up the plates of food you were preparing for the evening.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. There was always a sort of magic to having the fourth here, and you wanted to replicate it for them all even without Susannah here - especially now the house was yours.

—

When evening falls over the house, you’ve relaxed away from the fear of hosting. The food went down well, everyone was impressed, and the magic of the fourth that you were used to had managed to remain.

You were now all outside waiting to watch the fireworks start over the water.

“Hey, um, do you want to come with me a second?” Conrad asks you, standing up from his seat and outstretching a hand.

“Wh- don’t you want to watch the fireworks?” You frown a little at him.

“We won’t miss them, I promise,” He smiles down at you, “Come on.”

You take his hand and hear the faint whispering of Taylor and Belly behind you as Conrad leads you across the grass and down towards the wooden dock.

“What are we doing Con?” You ask as he squeezes your hand a little tighter.

“I just thought we could have a minute, just us,” He comments but you can sense something slightly off about his demeanour, something that wasn’t completely Conrad.

“Are you going to throw me in the water?” You narrow your eyes at him, “Because I-“

“I just-“ He stops himself, “Sorry.”

“What’s going on Con?” You laugh a little at him, “You’re scaring me now.”

“I don’t know how to start this,” He lets out a shaky breath, “Um…” He presses a hand to his chest.

“Con,” You place your hand over his, “Its me.”

He visibly settles, relaxing against your touch.

“I don’t know where to-“ He stops himself, “I love you (y/n).”

You feel it then. The feeling people described. Knowing what was about to come and yet not ready to prepare for it.

“And I love our life together, and I love the person I am because of you and-“ He lets himself laugh gently, “God, I just… I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you and so-“

“Oh my god,” You mumble as you watch him pull a small velvet box from his pocket, lowering down onto one knee.

He looks up at you and takes a deep breath, “(y/n) (y/l/n) will you make me the happiest man in the world an-“

“Yes!” You exclaim your hands flying to your face as tears pool in your eyes.

Conrad grins wildly and rises up onto his feet, wrapping one arm around you as the other hand reaches for yours to slot the delicate ring onto your finger.

He cups a hand to your cheek and presses a deep kiss to your lips, both of you laughing over spilling tears.

Before you can find the words, the fireworks start around you and the sky lights up into a shower of gold fireworks over the both of you.

“You didn’t let me say it,” Conrad says in your ear over the exploding sound.

“I couldn’t wait,” You laugh in return, holding him tightly against you.

“Will you marry me (y/n)?” He pulls back far enough from you to speak, eyes flicking between yours.

“Yes I will Conrad Fisher,” You beam and he grins brighter than ever before, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you around.

Steven and Jere cheer loudly from down by the water and Taylor and Belly scream in unison from the house, all of them applauding you for the inevitable perfection of this moment - more fireworks releasing into the air to make it even more picturesque.

And in that moment, you’re sure you’ll never feel more content.

This was it. This was everything.

—— Present Day ——

He laughs and wraps his arms tighter around you, “I like looking at all of these, what else do we have?”

“Well, this whole album is full of wedding photos,” You stretch over to pick up the detailed cream photo album, “This is the one Laurel bought us.”

It was a wedding present from the woman that was like a second Mom to both of you. She told you the memories would be more important than anything else about your day and told you to make the most of all of it being captured. It was a cream leather decorated in lace patterns with a thin bow across the front, another sheer ribbon tying the two covers together.

“Come on,” He takes the album from you and shifts on the couch so that his back is against the armrest.

You move so that you’re sat between his legs with your back against his chest and he moves his arms around either side of you to look at the album. Before he opens it, his hand comes up beside yours and locks your fingers together, both of your wedding rings settling next to each other like they were made to fit.

He opens the cover and the memories come flooding back once again, every piece of your perfect day.

—— 3 Years Ago ——

“Oh my god I’m so nervous I think I’m going to be sick,” You breathe out, pressing a hand to your chest to try to relieve the pressure there.

“Girl, you have nothing to be worried about,” Taylor encourages, fixing a few strands of your hair.

“Has anyone heard from Con? Is he okay? Is he here?” You ask frantically, checking your appearance in the mirror once again.

“That boy has been head over heels in love with you since you were sixteen, of course he’s here, and he’s probably as nervous as you are,” Belly encourages, her bridesmaids dress matching to Taylor’s in a sage green.

“But, if it helps, Steven just texted me to confirm,” Taylor comments, showing you her phone.

“God, I don’t even know why I’m nervous,” You shake your head, “It’s Conrad.”

“And (Y/n) Fisher has a nice ring to it,” Belly grins, “Are you ready to do this?”

You turn around and nod your head, breathing deeply as you look over your appearance in the mirror once more. You’d opted for a simple dress, fitted at the top with thin straps, flowing loose around your legs and poking at the floor in a small train. It was the only dress you’d looked at and seen yourself in.

The girls walk down first, ahead of you. And then you - walking down the aisle alongside your father.

He links his arm with yours and you hold on tightly as the doors open and you both step through.

So many people and all you can focus on is him.

The music starts and you start to walk, at the exact moment that Conrad turns around.

His suit is perfected from top to bottom, crisp white shirt against his black tuxedo. His hands are behind his back and you watch him squeezing them together to alleviate his nerves. But as his eyes fall on you, cool blue orbs calming yours, everything else just disappears.

You watch as his bottom lip trembles a little and he breaks into a small smile, a tear slipping down his cheek. You shake your head a little at him, the thought slipping into your mind that he promised you he wouldn’t cry, knowing him crying was only going to set you off.

Soon enough, you reach the end of the aisle and your father kisses your cheek quickly, reaching over to shake Conrad’s hand.

And then it’s just you and him. And the seventy people all watching you. But they didn’t matter. It was just him.

“Hi,” He mumbles, reaching down to hold your hand as your fingers lace with his.

“Hi,” You return, looking into his eyes for the home they always brought, “I’m so nervous,” You whisper.

“Hey, it’s me,” He responds, an echo of your own words from only a year before.

“It’s us,” You whisper once more, squeezing his hand before the two of you turn your attention to the ceremony about to begin, your ceremony.

—— Present Day ——

“I love this one,” Conrad points out a photo of the two of you, one from the evening of the wedding where his arm is around you and you’re laughing at something someone behind the camera had said, and all he can do is look at you - focus on you.

Before you can respond, the sound of crackling starts on the monitor before faint whinging breaks through the speaker.

“She’s up!” You smile, “Give me a sec-“

“No, I’ve got her,” Conrad squeezes your shoulders and pushes himself to stand up, letting you lean back against the arm of the sofa.

He disappears upstairs and you hear the bedroom door creak open followed by his bright voice at the sight in front of him.

You set down the wedding album and pull up a pile of more recent photos, all ones from the last eighteen months - the craziest and most content eighteen months of your life so far.

“Should we go and see Mummy?” Conrad’s voice speaks softly as he comes down the stairs, “She’s downstairs, yeah.”

As he steps back into the lounge, the small body on his hip wriggles down from his grip and runs over to you.

“Look who’s awake!” You grin as your daughter hurries over to the side of the couch.

You reach over and lift her up to sit on your lap, her teddy bear still tucked under her arm.

“Did you have a good nap?” You ask her and she nods tiredly.

“Daddy’s home,” Her little voice mumbles, fatigue still lacing her tone.

“Yeah, he came home early today,” You smile and Conrad walks around to take up his place on the couch once again.

Him against the arm rest, you against his chest and your daughter in front of you.

“Do you want to look through some photos with us?” Conrad raises his brows at her excitedly and she nods back at him again, her bear tugged tightly to her chest.

“I think you’re in these ones,” You mention and her eyes brighten widely.

Conrad picks up one of the photos and shows her, “Well look who it is!”

—— 1 Year Ago ——

“She’s perfect, darling,” Conrad beams down at the tiny face in front of him, held tightly in your arms and wrapped in a small pink blanket.

“She’s ours,” You whisper in return, leaning against his chest from where he was perched on the edge of your hospital bed.

“I don’t know how you did that,” He laughs quietly, both of you refusing to speak too loudly to disturb the miniature pair of ears.

“I don’t either,” You joke, and he wraps one arm around your shoulders, one of his fingers brushing over her fragile hands.

Before you can say anything else, the door opens and two familiar faces come through. Belly and Jere.

“Hey…” Jeremiah hisses, “They said we were okay to come in.”

“Yeah, come in man,” Conrad grins, standing up to greet them, “It’s so good to see you guys.”

The brothers both grasp each other in a hug that echoes every ounce of pride they shared before Conrad greets Belly with a warm hug too.

“We brought you some presents,” Belly comments, setting down a powder pink gift bag onto the bedside table.

“Thanks guys,” Conrad smiles, taking up his place next to you again.

“So, have you thought of a name for this little one yet?” Jeremiah asks, smiling brightly at both of you.

You exchange a glance with Conrad before nodding at him as if in encouragement for him to say.

“Yeah, actually,” He takes a deep breath, looking down at his daughter, “This is Darcie Susannah Fisher.”

Belly gasps, “Oh, it’s perfect.”

“Darcie Susannah,” Jeremiah repeats, tears building in his eyes, “I… Mom would be so proud.”

Conrad leans down to take the bundle of pink from your arms, holding her cautiously in his grip before turning to his brother, “Well, Uncle Jeremiah, do you want to hold your niece?”

—— Present Day ——

“Who’s that Darcie?” Conrad points at a photo from when she’d first come home, laying with the same teddy bear that she still refused to ever let out of her sight.

“Me!” She exclaims, tapping excitedly at the small face on the photo.

“It is you,” You chuckle in return, “And here’s you with uncle Jeremiah when we took you to the beach.”

She claps at the sight of Jeremiah on the page, who has self proclaimed himself as the favourite uncle.

“Do you want a snack Darcie?” You ask her calmly, holding her in your arms to focus her short attention on you.

Your daughter nods back, her small smile making her look like the spitting image of her father. He always told you that she reminded him of you, but she was almost exactly like her father in your eyes. To everyone else, she was an exact mix of the two - an addition to the two that were meant to find each other.

“I’ll get it,” Conrad assures you, stepping back up from the couch.

“Oh isn’t Daddy good?” You grin at Darcie, tickling under her arms as she laughs under your touch, her giggle echoing in your ears.

Conrad stops in his tracks, looking down at the sight in front of him. His tiny version of perfection in a vast world. You, him, his daughter. This house. This family. This home. This everything. He’s sure he’ll never be happier, but still so sure that this happiness will never fade. This was everything and it always would be.

“Daddy!” Darcie exclaims, making grabby hands towards him.

“What are you doing?” You laugh a little at his frozen state, the way he seems so stopped in his tracks.

“I’m…” He chuckles, “I love you.”

Conrad leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, taking Darcie from your arms and hitching her onto his hip, chattering away to her as the two disappear into the kitchen.

You grin, standing up from the couch with a photo of the three of you in your hands. You rummage through the drawers to find a spare photo frame and slip the photo into place, fixing the clasps around the back before setting the photo frame onto a free place on the fireplace.

Conrad and Darcie come back in, with a small bowl of popcorn for her and a bigger one for you and him.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, setting Darcie down onto her playmat.

You turn around and smile at him, “I love you too.”

[jewwyfeesh]

Tea Garden

Writer: 日日日 (Akira)

Character(s): Tenshouin Eichi, Sakuma Ritsu, Shino Hajime

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Disclaimer: I translated this story from the CN version of the game, which means that it has been double translated (JP > CN > EN).

Ritsu: Ah~… Don’t just stand here yapping away, hurry up and go~ Your monologues always drag on for waaaay too long.

Season: Summer Location: Yumenosaki Academy Garden Terrace

Hajime: Hey everyone~ ♪

Sorry for being late, I got held up due to my part-time job on campus…

Though, thanks to Transfer Student-senpai’s assistance, we were able to wrap it up quickly ♪

Ritsu: Hello~… Uuuu… The weather’s really toooo good, I’m getting such a wonderful headache from how good it is…

Hajime: Ah, there should be some umbrellas over there. I’ll go grab one ♪

I’ll brew some tea on the way, too~ Ritsu-senpai, is there anything in particular you’d like to have?

Ritsu: Ah~ …Since Anzu’s here, I’ll pass on the drinks. Whenever I get thirsty, I’ll just have a sip of her blood.

Hajime: Eh, you can’t drink blood.

It’s not hygenic~ How about having some black tea instead ♪

Ritsu: Mmmh~ I’d feel like going to the toilet if I drink tea. But I’m trying not to move around too much…

Ahh~ I’m too lazy to move today. It’s sunny every day.

Hajime: Ehehe. Is this not a ‘good thing’? If it’s sunny, our laundry will dry faster, so I think it’s pretty nice ♪ 

Eichi: Hajime-kun, Anzu-chan, how about the both of you take a seat first? I’ll prepare the tea and snacks.

Hajime: Ah, there’s no need! I can’t let the Student Council President do such odd jobs!

Eichi: Kindly refrain from addressing me with an excessively formal [1] title like ‘Student Council President’.

Please do away with the formalities; let me steep the tea. After all, is this not part of Tea Club’s activities ♪

Ritsu: Ecchan, the snacks I’ve made are in the kitchen fridge. If everyone’s okay with it, we can have them with tea~?

Eichi: Hehe, even though calling me ‘Student Council President’ is too ceremonial and could even be considerred flattery, calling me ‘Ecchan’ is also a little too… familiar[2].

Then again, Ritsu-kun had to repeat a year. He was meant to be in the same year as I, so I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

Though… trying to find the perfect balance between ‘authority’ and ‘approachability’ is extremely difficult. Anzu-chan, you agree, don’t you?

I’ll head over to the kitchen now. I’ll be back promptly, so please feel free to take a break.

Aha, ‘serving’ others is actually rather fun… ♪

I can drop the heavy title of the student council president and just be myself… times like these are really hard to come by. Tea Club’s activities are a great way for me to relax ♪

Ritsu: Ah~… Don’t just stand here yapping away, hurry up and go~ Your monologues always drag on for waaaay too long.

Eichi: Hehe, my sincere apologies. Without further ado, I shall now take my leave. Farewell ♪

Ritsu: Byebye~ …Ha~kun, Anzu, there are chairs over there that you can use~ It’s kinda stressful to see you standing around you know?

Hajime: Achoo, please excuse me. Ahh, finally… the feeling of being alive. Inhale… exhale… I feel really relaxed~ ♪

Ritsu: Ha~kun, you’re not allowed to take out that fragrant thing when you’re next to me~ The second I smell it, I immediately feel like falling asleep…?

Hajime: Ahaha. Lavender does have a sleep-inducing effect~ My bad ♪

Though… Ritsu-senpai, you’re always sleeping… I heard that if you sleep too much, your braincells will die~

Ritsu: Ahhh, no wonder I’ve been so forgetful lately. So this was the reason… Eh, it doesn’t matter, sleeping is pretty comfy. If I sleep during the day, I’ll be awake at night, and vice versa.

Hajime: Is that so~ You’re such a night owl.

Flipping your sleep schedule is really unhealthy… I think it’s still best if you don’t consume so much coffee…

Eichi: If I may interrupt — upon evaluation of your lifestyle and habits, Ritsu-kun, I’ve prepared some kudzu root soup[3] for you, as it seems to me that your body isn’t in the best of conditions these days.

Ritsu: But I’ve always been like this though.. Ahhh… this flavour is… really… too special, I don’t like it~

Fizzy fruit juice would’ve been fine.

I’m gonna eat some of the snacks I made to clease my palate. Om nom nom ♪ 

Eichi: The designs of Ritsu-kun’s desserts are rather avant-garde…

To be honest, one would find that they are actually really delicious after eating them, but I would have to muster a lot of courage to even take the first bite. I don’t think this is particularly cordial?

For Hajime-kun, I’ve brewed some vanilla tea – that’s alright with you, yes? Anzu-chan and I will be having Oriental Beauty Tea, I hope it’s to your tastes… ♪

Hajime: Ahh… it’s some high-end tea leaves again… One cup like this is practically equivalent to my entire income from working part-time in school~

Eichi: Fufu. Only food of the highest quality should be consumed.

The food of today maketh the body of tomorrow. This is but an investment for the future.

I have to pay extra attention to my diet due to my sickly body… so I am rather envious of people like you who can eat just about anything you fancy.

Ritsu: Ah~ …If you wanna live forever, I can turn you into a vampire~?

Eichi: Even though I am interested in the vampiric lifestyle, I still wish to continue being an idol. Come on, everyone, please make yourself at home and have a drink.

Today, there are more people than usual – the atmosphere is a lot livelier and fun, so I’m really happy.

You too, Anzu-chan. You’re welcome to join us Tea Club anytime ♪

Ritsu: Yeppu, I agree with Ecchan on this. Even though I tend to hate noisy environments, but when tea is drunk with everyone around, one would feel even happier.

Let’s host a Mad Tea Party in your dreams too… ♪

Translator's notes: [1] The original CN term used is "见外", which means to "treat someone as an outsider", or "to treat someone with formal courtesy as accorded to a host or guest".

[2] The original CN term used is "熟络", which means "familiar / close". Generally speaking Asian countries places a lot of importance on treating your seniors with respect, and using an informal nickname to your superior isn't the most respectful thing LOL; however, you can call people of the same age as you or younger than you by informal means. Ritsu is in year 2 and Eichi in year 3, which means that on paper Eichi is his senior and should be addressed as such (ie. -senpai). So that's why Ecchan made that remark -- which implies something like "don't address me like that, we're not that close / we're not in the same year". But afterwards he lets it pass because Ritsu did get held back LMFAO so in theory Ritsu would've also been in year 3. Read Black Tea - A Spoonful of Sweet Poison 5 to find out more about the origin's of "Ecchan"~

[3] Kudzu root soup... Kudzu "is an herb used in Chinese medicine to treat alcoholism, heart disease, menopausal symptoms, diabetes, fever, the common cold, and neck or eye pain. It is sometimes used in combination with other herbs, [and suggested to have] anti-inflammatory and neuroprotective properties." (Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Centre - Information about Kudzu).

[themetaphorgirl]

hiii! for psolc can you do a drabble where the group is all still at school and spencer starts getting other friends and getting a job outside of school that’s takes up a lot of time and he rarely sees the gang and he basically just starts getting more independent and doesn’t need to rely on the older kids as much and they’re all kinda sad about it.

I decided to put this pretty far into the future when he's in college, but it still made me so emo.

---------

Alex tried to keep from sighing as she got up and started clearing the table. “Oh, lovey, don’t make that sad face,” James said. 

“I’m not making a face,” she said as she picked up Spencer’s untouched plate. 

“Yes, you are, you look crushed,” he said. “It’s okay to be sad about it.”

Alex looked down. “He hasn’t been home for dinner once this week,” she said. 

“He’s fifteen and he’s finally making friends close to his own age,” James said gently. “And he’s taking so many classes, and he’s got that TA position.”

“I know,” she said. 

“And we know he’s safe, he’s always good about letting us know where he is,” James said. He got up from the table and took the plate from her, then kissed her temple. “I’ll put this in the fridge and clean up, you go take a break. I know you just got a stack of books from the library you’ve been dying to read.”

“I should work on my thesis-“ 

He grinned and kissed her again. “Take a break, doctor’s orders,” he said. 

She laughed despite herself. “You’re not a doctor yet,” she said, but she squeezed his hand and left the kitchen. 

Spencer had joined them out in California when he was thirteen, after he graduated from St. Thaddeus. It had taken no time to settle into life as a little family, but now Spencer was a junior in college and nearly sixteen. She knew he was going to grow up at some point, but she still hated it. Why couldn’t he just stay little?

She lounged on her bed with one of her novels, leaving the door open to listen for Spencer coming home. It was only around seven and he usually didn’t stay out past ten. 

But around eight thirty she heard the front door open and the tension in her chest relaxed. She knew he was safe on campus, he was the least reckless teenager she knew, but she couldn’t help but worry. 

“Spencer?” she called. “Your dinner’s in the fridge if you’re still hungry.”

She didn’t hear him reply and guessed he’d gone straight to the kitchen- finally hitting his long delayed growth spurts meant he was starving all the time- but to her surprise she looked up and saw him huddled in the doorway. 

“Hi,” she said, surprised. “How was school today?”

He rubbed his eyes. “I have a headache,” he said in a small voice. “I feel so sick.”

Alex set her book aside and held out her arms. “Poor baby,” she said. “Come here, it’s okay.”

He climbed onto the bed and cuddled up against her. He couldn’t fit easily on her lap like he did when he was nine, but he curled himself small with his head on her shoulder. Alex ran her fingers through his hair. “Rough day at school?” she guessed. 

“Yeah,” he said, his voice muffled into her shoulder. “Can…can you just hold me for a little while, please?”

“Of course I can,” she said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I always can.”

[sicknessbysalem]

hi! i really love your fics!! can you write a fic for one of your female oc’s including the phrase “i don’t feel so hot”? preferably in a situation where they have to reluctantly admit that they feel sick, if possible.

oh this was so sweet!

meet natalia and scarlet. sunshine x black cat, lesbians, with a planned enemies to friends to lovers arc (we’ll see how that goes)

if you have any questions, comments, or requests, send them my way!

tw emeto, stomach upset, sarcastic bickering

It was just past noon when Scarlet realized in what was less than twenty minutes, she’d run her hands over the embroidered roses on her jeans at least five times each hand, if not ten.

Scarlet probably wouldn’t have realized it then, had it not been for Giselle, the girl from the run down, barely functioning apartment complex three blocks away who spent every Saturday in this old storefront.

It was a storefront at one point. And then a performing arts studio until the performing arts studio was growing so quickly they needed a bigger centre.

When that happened, Scarlet used what was left of her inheritance from her father to fix it and pay a year’s worth of rent at a time. It was still a performing arts studio, yes, but now it was Scarlet’s passion project. Teaching at risk youth the beauty and therapy of music.

“Did you hurt your wrist again?” Giselle had asked, “Well, no, you couldn’t have. You’re rubbing your hands, not shaking them.”

“I’m alright,” Scarlet said. Though, they wondered internally, were they really?

Scarlet tried to think back over the morning. Scarlet had nowhere to go for holiday, so she stayed on campus. Natalia was staying too, extra ice time or something, truth be told Scarlet didn’t care.

Natalia got up extremely early, too early for Scarlet’s taste. Scarlet had been out late, playing a show with the band, so Natalia’s five a.m. wake up and get ready for practice routine was not exactly on Scarlet’s list of favorite things to do.

When Scarlet finally did get up around eight, getting ready was slow. But that could’ve just as easily been because she didn’t sleep much.

She put her favorite jeans on, her favorite vest, the white top that always ended up showing some of her stomach. Not a full crop top, but enough.

Scarlet did think a little more of her stomach showed than usual, like she was bloated or something, but unlike Natalia, Scarlet couldn’t care less what she looked like. She’d be at the studio until the evening anyway. Everything seemed fine, didn’t it?

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Scarlet said firmly, “Try running back the chords of the chorus another time.”

Giselle did. Scarlet listened. Well, Scarlet tried to listen.

As Scarlet tried to focus on Giselle's chords, the discomfort in her stomach intensified. It started as a subtle churn, easily dismissed as nerves or hunger. But with each passing minute, the sensation grew, becoming a persistent ache that made it hard to concentrate.

She ran her hands over her jeans again, this time more forcefully, trying to distract herself from the increasing nausea.

Giselle paused mid-chord, noticing Scarlet's unease. "Are you sure you're okay? You look kinda pale."

Scarlet managed a weak smile, trying to downplay her discomfort. "Just a little off today, nothing to worry about."

“Did you play with your band?” There was an excited glimmer in Giselle’s eyes as she asked. It made Scarlet feel better, if only for a second.

“I did, we played a show about an hour away,” Scarlet said. The nausea turned her stomach and she turned her head away to cough softly. The cough, of course, only worsened the feeling in her stomach, but she shook it off. She had to.

“That’s so cool,” Giselle said, “I want to be in a band someday… it seems fun.”

“Oh it is,” Scarlet said, “Maybe when you turn eighteen, we can take you to a show as an honorary guitarist. Just as long as you don’t get so good you take my job.”

Scarlet forced herself to laugh softly, and Giselle beamed brightly.

“Alright, so you got the chorus pretty well so why don’t you…” Scarlet’s voice trailed off, a wave of nausea threatening to overwhelm her. She swallowed, laughed, “Sorry, I am so tired. What I was saying was… try playing the first half of the song. You have all the parts, try putting them together.”

Giselle nodded. Again, Scarlet coughed lightly, hoping to alleviate the pressure building in her stomach.

Just then, the studio door swung open, and Natalia breezed in with her usual exuberance. It made Giselle jump, and Scarlet roll her eyes.

“Hey, sorry I'm late!" Natalia exclaimed, oblivious to Scarlet's distress.

Scarlet gritted her teeth, her annoyance with Natalia bubbling to the surface.

“Late as usual, Natalia," she muttered under her breath, her words tinged with irritation.

Natalia raised an eyebrow, catching the tone in Scarlet's voice. "What's got you so upset already, Scarlet? Don't tell me you're still upset about the microwave incident…”

“The microwave incident?” Giselle asked softly.

Scarlet's jaw clenched, recalling the argument they had about Natalia's habit of leaving a mess everywhere and with everything.

“No, Natalia, it's not about the microwave," she snapped, trying to keep her temper in check. “You’re supposed to be here at noon.”

“I’m sorry!” Natalia said, but her apology was more sarcastic and accusatory than genuine, “Skating practice went over.”

“Don’t care,” Scarlet said, putting her hand up, “Your girls are in studio two, okay?”

Natalia didn’t say anything else. Well, not directly to Scarlet. She rolled her eyes and mumbled something, but Scarlet didn’t care.

Once Natalia left, Scarlet's discomfort escalated rapidly. The nausea that had been gnawing at her grew into an overwhelming urge to vomit. She coughed to clear her throat, to ease the pressure in her stomach, but it only served to intensify the queasiness.

Scarlet could taste acid in the back of her throat. Too much acid. One more cough and Scarlet would have to get sawdust for the studio floor.

“Excuse me…” Scarlet mumbled.

Feeling like she couldn't hold it back any longer, Scarlet bolted out of the studio, barely acknowledging the concerned looks from passersby.

She had a hand on her stomach, another hand clamped over her mouth. She retched behind her hand. It was dry, but another one wasn’t far behind and it most certainly would not be.

She hurried past Natalia's studio, not wanting to encounter her roommate in her current state.

The bathroom was thankfully empty when Scarlet burst in, her hand over her mouth as she rushed to the nearest stall. She barely made it in time before her body rebelled, heaving as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Acid burned Scarlet’s throat as she gagged up the remains of her small breakfast. Too small breakfast. But dinner was big, food yesterday was big in general. But especially dinner.

God, thinking about dinner made her more nauseous.

Scarlet leaned against the stall door, feeling weak and embarrassed. She was supposed to be teaching music, not retching in a public restroom. Well, semi public.

After what felt like an eternity, the nausea subsided, leaving Scarlet drained and shaky. She rinsed her mouth at the sink, splashing cold water on her face in an attempt to regain some composure.

As she leaned against the sink, trying to gather her thoughts, the door to the bathroom swung open. Scarlet froze, hoping whoever it was would just use the facilities and leave. But fate had other plans.

"Scarlet?" Natalia's voice called out, filled with concern. "Are you in here? Giselle said you weren’t looking so… oh my god what happened?”

Scarlet's heart sank. She couldn't face Natalia now, not after this humiliating episode.

“I'm fine," she managed to croak out, trying to sound composed despite the lingering weakness in her voice.

Natalia hesitated, then approached the stall where Scarlet was. "Are you sure? You don't sound fine. You sound like you just threw up.”

"I just... ate something that didn't agree with me," Scarlet shrugged, “I feel better now.”

There was a moment of silence, then Natalia spoke again, her tone softer now. "Do you need anything? Water, maybe?"

Scarlet's eyes stung with unshed tears, a mix of embarrassment and gratitude washing over her. "No, I'm good. Thanks, Natalia."

Natalia lingered for a moment longer, as if debating whether to push further or give Scarlet some space. Eventually, she sighed softly. "Alright."

With that, Natalia left the bathroom, leaving Scarlet alone with her thoughts and the lingering aftermath of her turbulent emotions and physical discomfort.

This was going to be a long day.

-

The evening settled in as Scarlet and Natalia found themselves in their shared dorm room, each lost in their own thoughts. Scarlet tried to brush off the earlier incident in the bathroom, convincing herself it was just a one-time occurrence due to bad food.

Natalia, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to Scarlet's discomfort, bustling around the small kitchenette area of their townhouse dorm and humming to herself as she prepared a simple dinner in the microwave.

The aroma of food slowly filled the room, a scent that would have been inviting under normal circumstances.

But for Scarlet, whose stomach still felt queasy and unsettled, the smell was overwhelming. She tried to ignore it, focusing on her laptop screen as if she were deeply engrossed in something.

Natalia glanced over at Scarlet, noticing her roommate's distant expression. "Hey, Scarlet, I'm making some pasta. Want some?"

Scarlet's stomach churned at the mention of food, but she forced a smile. "No, thanks. I wouldn’t trust anything you make even if it was between your food and starving to death."

“Yes well I wouldn’t take your fashion advice if it was between you styling me or walking around naked,” Natalia said.

“Wonderful, my clothes look better on me anyway,” Scarlet forced, “Your outfits have too much glitter anyway.”

“There is no such thing as too much glitter,” Natalia said, “But fine, suit yourself if you want.”

As the microwave hummed and beeped, Scarlet's discomfort intensified. She gripped the edge of her desk, trying to steady herself.

Scarlet felt dizzy. Not even just unsteady, but dizzy. Like the room was spinning violently. Or at least she was. Everything just felt wrong.

Natalia's voice continued in the background, chatting about her skating practice and upcoming competitions.

"Did I tell you about the new routine I'm working on?" Natalia asked, clearly excited.

Scarlet's patience was wearing thin, her head continuing to spin from the combination of nausea and Natalia's chatter, not to mention the overwhelming heat that seeped into Scarlet’s body.

“You know, not really interested, Natalia," she mumbled, hoping to deter further conversation.

But Natalia didn't seem to catch the hint. "It's going to be amazing, Scarlet. I'm incorporating some new jumps and spins. I think I have a real shot at..."

“I don’t feel so hot…” Scarlet says. It’s sudden. But Scarlet knows what’s about to happen. And yeah, Natalia gets on her nerves. But she isn’t a monster, she’ll tell Natalia she’s about to puke. Or try to.

“What do you mean you-“

Before Natalia could finish her sentence, Scarlet's stomach rebelled again. She quickly pushed back in her chair and leaned over her trash can next to her desk, retching as the sudden wave of sickness overtook her.

Natalia said something. Scarlet couldn't respond, too busy trying to steady her breathing and suppress the urge to vomit again. The scent of food from the microwave mingled with the acrid taste in her mouth, making her feel even more queasy.

Scarlet could smell the food. And smelling the food made her think of dinner. God, she ate a lot yesterday. Her stomach seized, a thick wave of sick poured out of her.

There was so much dinner. Lunch was pretty big too. Scarlet was going over everything she ate yesterday in her head, completely out of her control.

Scarlet leaned forward, her torso pressing into her knees. The weight, the gravity, it forced an even thicker wave out of Scarlet.

“Well there goes my appetite.”

Scarlet can make that out. Scarlet coughs, though she wanted to laugh. At least despite the puking, Natalia was still so self absorbed and self serving and…

There’s a hand on Scarlet’s back as Scarlet coughed, choking up more stomach contents.

The can is almost full by time Scarlet can stop vomiting.

“God, what happened?” Natalia questioned.

“I don’t feel well,” Scarlet said “I really… don’t feel so well.”

Natalia sighed softly, "Hey, it's okay. Maybe you should lie down. I’ll get you a new trash can…”

Scarlet nodded weakly, grateful for Natalia's concern despite their usual friction. Shakily, Scarlet stood, taking the few steps to her bed.

She collapsed onto her bed, the room spinning around her.

“Why did you get sick?” Natalia questioned, “Oh my god, are you pregnant?”

“No, absolutely not,” Scarlet said, “One of the girls… she had an upset stomach at practice. Maybe I might have a stomach virus," she admitted, feeling defeated and miserable.

Natalia's expression softened, her annoyance replaced with genuine worry. "Oh no, that's terrible. Is there anything I can do?"

Scarlet managed a small smile, touched by Natalia's change in demeanor. "Wow it’s almost like you’re human. At least a little bit.”

Natalia scoffed, “I am human last I checked. Go to sleep so you can stop interrupting my evening with your stomach.”

“I will happily go to sleep so I don’t have to hear another thing about your next routine,” Scarlet said, rolling over onto her side.

Natalia rolled her eyes, grabbing Scarlet’s blanket off her chair and tossing it over her, “It’s called a program, thank you.”

Maybe, just maybe, this tension wouldn’t stay forever. Maybe it would. But right now, Scarlet can’t make herself care.

[thoselethalarts]

𝓚𝓪𝔃𝓾𝓸 𝓖𝓾𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓻𝓸 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(R) Gym Uniform: “I’m So Stupid…!”

(NRC: Sports Field)

Vargas: Alright, boys! I think that’s good enough for today. Vargas: I can tell you’re improving more than just your times. Hit the showers, and keep up the good work next week!

Phobos: Finally… Thought today would never end. (Yawn…)

Jack: You hardly did anything and you’re yawning.

Phobos: I did enough. I don’t need to be running around for a whole hour to improve my time. Phobos: I’m takin’ off and takin’ a nap. Later.

(Phobos grabs his bag and departs from the group)

Jack: Abrasive as always… He really doesn’t change. Jack: Hm…? Isn’t that Kazuo out there at the edge of the field?

Deuce: Huh? Oh, you’re right, that does look like him. Deuce: That’s weird, he didn’t show up to club, but he’s still out here practicing? Wonder if something happened.

Jack: Beats me. Maybe he was feeling sick or something and only just now made it out.

Deuce: I know I’d feel embarrassed if I could only show up to the tail end of club… I don’t really blame him. Deuce: Maybe we should go check up on him, just to make sure he’s feeling okay.

Jack: It’s not a bad idea to make sure our upperclassmen are doing alright. Lemmie grab my bag and then we can head over.

(Jack and Deuce pause to pick up their gym bags and then walk across the field to meet with Kazuo at the furthest edge)

Kazuo: 27… 28… 29… 30! Kazuo: Whew…! Alright, time for a break~

Deuce: Hey Kaz!

Kazuo: Hm? Oh hey, Jack and Deuce! What’re you troublemakers up to?

Deuce: We just saw you out here from across the field, wondering what you were up to was all. Deuce: Are you feeling okay? You look like you’re out of breath.

Kazuo: Oh, haha! Yeah, I’m alright. I’m just out of breath ‘cuz I’m between reps. Kazuo: Today’s my upper body day! So I was using this tree’s low-hanging branch to do some pull-ups. It’s surprisingly really sturdy. Kazuo: You guys wanna join me? I was gonna do another set of pull-ups and then some push-ups after.

Jack: Hm… I’ve still got some energy left in me. Why not?

Deuce: I’ll join, too! I wouldn’t mind seeing just how far I can push myself to my limits.

Kazuo: Sweet! There’s another couple trees over here with some low-hanging branches you guys can use too! Let’s go!

(Some time passes, and the trio pause their training to take another break. The afternoon sun slowly starts to pass into sunset upon the field.)

Jack: So… you said you like to come out here to train? What goal are you training for?

Kazuo: Oh, nothing specific. I just want to stay in good shape for my job is all.

Deuce: Oh! I didn’t know you had a job, Kaz! What do you do?

Kazuo: Eheh, well… it’ll probably sound kind of made up considering our environment, but… I’m a Ghostbuster!

Deuce: A Ghostbuster…? You mean, like the movie?

Kazuo: Yeah! Exactly like the movie! I know it probably sounds fake, but it’s true! Kazuo: People call me out to the scene when they’re experiencing paranormal activity, and then I hunt down and exorcise the ghost or ghosts causing it.

Deuce: That’s really cool, actually! Why would that be weird?

Kazuo: Eh, well, I mean I haven’t been doing a lot of my job here because all the ghosts at the school are friendly… most of them even employed here.

Jack: That’s true. You’d get in serious trouble if you tried exorcising one of the staff ghosts on campus. Jack: There’s plenty of ghosts that are hostile and dangerous elsewhere, but here on campus pretty much all of them are friendly.

Kazuo: Yeah, exactly. Truth be told, I’m not used to being around so many friendly spirits. Kazuo: Most of the time when I get called out to investigate a haunting, the spirit’s either hostile or just clinging too hard to reality. Kazuo: Either way, they can’t stay in the realm of the living. It’s my job to catch them and send them back to where they belong. Kazuo: I call myself a “Ghostbuster” on paper ‘cuz it sounds more friendly, but really I’m more like a Grim Reaper in practice. Any spirit trapped in reality is a target for me, even if it’s freshly departed.

Deuce: So, what do you need to do all this training for? I wouldn’t think a job like that would be very physically taxing.

Kazuo: Haha! You might not think so, but honestly it’s a lot more draining than it sounds. Kazuo: Depending on the spirit, they can be either really easy to placate or extremely dangerous. I won’t know which it is until I’m on the scene, either. Kazuo: In practice, fighting a spirit isn’t any different than fighting a normal, living human. The only difference is that humans can’t use magic to fight back and evade your attacks. Kazuo: You know my friends Marcus and Matt, right? They’re kind of in the same business as me, they just hunt things other than ghosts. Kazuo: Since we’re all in the same boat together, I’ve been trying to get them to do training with me. But…

(Kaz recaps a flashback to a point in the past)

Marcus: Haah… Hahh… Alright, time out. Time out, time out. I need… I need a break.

Kazuo: What, already?! C’mon, bro, we just got started!

Marcus: I dunno how you keep doing this every day, Kaz. You have way too much energy.

Kazuo: Hey, I don’t do this every day, just every other day! On the days I don’t have track and field, I’m out here training! Kazuo: And how do I have too much energy?! This is easy mode!

Marcus: “Easy mode”, yeah speak for yourself on that one. I’m not a sports guy like you are, this is more than enough for me. I need to catch my breath…

Kazuo: Aren’t we in the same business? How do you even manage to do your job when you can barely do this much?

Marcus: Honestly, I usually I have adrenaline to keep me going. Marcus: Also, I’m not usually doing sit-ups, push-ups, and burpees when I’m running around like my life depends on it…!

Kazuo: You’d probably have to rely less on adrenaline if you trained like I did. C’mon, it’ll get easier when you do it more often! Kazuo: How you doin’ with it, Matt?

Matt: Ah, you don’t gotta worry ‘bout me none, I’m jus’ peachy~

Marcus: You don’t have any right to talk, you don’t have “normal” stamina to begin with.

Kazuo: Well, how ya feeling now? We still got another set of squats and burpees to do!

Marcus: I think I’m gonna throw up.

Matt: He’s exagguratin’.

Marcus: I’m gonna throw up on you specifically. Ugh…

(The flashback ends)

Deuce: Haha! I’m not surprised to hear that Marcus isn’t the most athletic of people. He certainly doesn’t look it.

Kazuo: And yet his job isn’t any different than mine! Can you believe that?! Kazuo: That guy’s gonna have a heart attack before he turns 30 if he keeps pushing himself like he does. Kazuo: I’ve been trying to get him to train with me so we can all stay fit together, but usually he says no and it’s just me on my own out here. I’m glad you guys could join me today, it’s nice to have some company every once in a while.

Jack: Hey… don’t mind me for asking, but you said that days that you don’t have Track and Field you’re usually out here doing supplementary training, right? Jack: Why’d you miss our club meeting today, then?

Kazuo: …Wait, what?

Deuce: Come to think of it, I feel like you’ve been missing a lot of club meetings lately. Whenever Vargas does roll call, I feel like I rarely hear you answer your name.

Kazuo: W-Wait, did I get my meeting days mixed up…?! I thought it was every Monday and Wednesday we had club!

Jack: Nope. Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Kazuo: Damniiiiiiitttt…!! This whole time I thought I was just showing up early or club meetings got called off! Kazuo: God, I’m so stupid…! I’ve been doing all this training on my own for nothing!

Deuce: H-Hey, don’t take it too hard! It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve forgotten about something important and either showed up late or completely skipped on accident, either.

Kazuo: Yeah, but I hate that I’ve been tanking my attendance without even realizing…! That’s not gonna look good on my overall club standing…

Jack: Try not to beat yourself up too much about it. You’ve still been working hard, even if you haven’t got the marks to show it. Jack: Tell Vargas you’ve been doing solo training in your free time, and I’m sure he’ll forgive your absence. I’ll back you up on that, too.

Kazuo: Really…? You think so?

Deuce: Sure he will! I’ll be a witness for you, too, just to be sure.

Kazuo: Man… I’m still mad at myself for getting my dates mixed up like that, but I appreciate the help, guys.

Jack: Sure thing. Now you know, at least, so you can straighten up from here on out. Jack: We’re in the same dorm, so I can remind you before club starts to get ready if you need it.

Kazuo: Yeah, that’d be great. It’ll take me a minute to readjust my schedule for sure, I don’t wanna go on autopilot and forget again, after all. Kazuo: Speaking of time, it is getting pretty late now, huh? How ‘bout we stop by the Mystery Shop on the way back to the dorms and grab some snacks? Kazuo: It’ll be my treat, as thanks for helpin’ me figure this shitty situation out!

/ End

[blackroseguzzi]

Woosah Baby : part 2

Warren’s POV

I silently drove y/n back to her campus apartment. I remember when we had first graduated high school, I was so animate on living with her. I wanted to spend every minute of every day with her, but she shot me down so fucking quick because she said something about the importance of separate space.. blah blah blah. I spent most weekends there, but as much as I wanted to just campout there until the end of time- I knew y/n liked her alone time without anyone in her bubble.

She didn’t want to talk no matter how much I begged her to let me go to inside with and talk about everything. She said some shit about how she was too emotionally drained and that we would talk tomorrow.

Hell, I got it. I wasn’t the one who had just learned that I’d have to harbor a fetus inside me for more than half year. I watched her get out of my Volvo and walk sullenly back into her building. I sat idling there for a few minutes. I was scared shitless. I had no idea how to comfort her. It was never my strong suit to be that romantic and emotional supportive partner. I was the fun and goofy one, and y/n fed off that energy. She had never needed me in the past like she did right now. Not when her dad up and left her mother for a woman half his age. Not when her mom had been hospitalized for drinking a bottle of pills right before y/n was supposed to take the SAT’S. She would just come over my house, ask me to roll her a blunt, and we would listen to some Ozzy Osborne and make out.

She had never been this upset before and it freaked me out. How was I going to make things better? Should I ask my parents for help or was that something some pussy guy would do in this situation?

Fuck I need some strong booze and some dank weed. I needed to go do something that would get my mind right.

**Later that night**

Spencer and I sat outside Rich Moore’s parents house. They were gone for a month to Hawaii so Rich was constantly having parties. They were so much better than some of the frat parties we’ve been at lately. I took a long drag off my blunt and handed it over to Spencer who graciously took it from my fingers.

“Man, what’s up? You’ve been in a lame mood today. Everything good?” Spencer was my best friend. If I was being honest he was too good for me. He was innocent, except when he was with me. He was always down to go with me when I would get these grand ideas of stealing food from restaurants or random crap from large chain stores. They didn’t need that money as much as I needed things. Big box stores are just Inflexible in practice.

“Yeah.. yeah I’m good dude,” I said after letting out a drag of smoke, making a few rings. I watched the smoke rings drift into the night sky and then suddenly fade and break apart. It made my heart skip. I didn’t want y/n to drift away from me and for us to end. I knew things were going to be hard - I’m not stupid. I knew I’d have to find a job, become some loser 9-5 worker who hated their lives just so they can provide a minimum wage life for their family. I knew I was going to have to learn to grow up, but I was afraid that I might not have that capability.

“Where is y/n tonight? She didn’t show up for her shift at work this afternoon. Is she good?” Spencer took another drag and handed it to me. I waved it away, trying to get a little taste of self control I’ll have to learn quickly.

“She’s pregnant,” I stated. My face felt emotionless, but there were so many weird feelings inside me.

Spencer’s eyes burned into my skin and I just couldn’t look at his face. I just kept looking at the night sky where the stars just blotted the darkness.

“Hey that’s the big dipper,” I pointed out, trying not to dig deeper into the conversation hole I just created for myself.

“Fuck the big dipper man- Y/n’s pregnant?” Spencer questioned back at me, alarmed that I was looking for constellations in the sky instead of talking about this big news I had just confessed.

I finally turned towards him and his eyes burned into me, they looked shocked.

“Yeah, she is. I’m fucked. We’re both fucked. What else is there to talk about?”

“So you’re obviously keeping it?” Spencer asked. We hadn’t even talked about anything in regards to this baby. I didn’t even know how far along she was.

I reached out to pick up my red solo cup that was chilling on the railing in front of us. Empty. Thank god.

“I’m going to go grab more beer.”

Spencer huffed as I turned to go back inside the house, which was so insanely crowded. So many drunk girls with tiny crop tops and shorts way too short for the middle of November. Laughter and music filled the stale air, which smelt like sweat, weed, and immaturity.

I walked over to the keg in the kitchen. A few girls huddled around it giggling amongst themselves. Thank Jesus y/n was never like that. She didn’t huddle around a group of girls, to gossip, and she never asked 5 of them to go to the bathroom with her everywhere she went too. She was popular with the guys at college and I wasn’t oblivious about it either. She was friendly and easy-going. She wasn’t a girl that asked much of a guy - clearly. She was also a natural beauty, only ever wearing mascara and chap stick. I loved that cherry Carmax shit she always wore. It tasted just as good as she did. Her body was so smooth, and not overly tan like half the girls at the University. I wonder what our baby was going to look like. God, I hope that their baby would have y/n’s perfect nose, and the way her eyes squinted when she smiled.

I was broken from my thoughts as I felt a hand lace around my shoulder while I filled his solo cup. I looked over at the cute blonde girl who was snaking in a little too close for comfort. Her light pink shirt overly revealing.

“Hey,” she whispered seductively into my ear. I swallowed hard. Even though I loved y/n with all my heart, any guy would be lying when they didn’t feel some weird way when a pretty girl touched you that way. Especially when you had alcohol and THC simultaneously running through your veins.

“You’re the cute kid in my Lit class on Fridays. I didn’t see you there today,” her breath on my neck was hot and she smelled like a bunch of pachouli soaked strawberries.

“Yeah, I ah.. I overslept,” I said sheepishly, giving her a side smile and handing the keg hose to her. She thanked me and filled her own cup. The foam on the top of her beer was on the verge of overflowing as she finished. She took a sip, the foam getting all over her upper lip.

“Oops,” She giggled and took her red tongue out of her mouth and slowly licked the foam from her lip and gave me a devilish smile.

“You want to go somewhere quiet? I can fill you in on what we learned in class today.” She spoke softly and I wondered how through the pounding of the horrible rap music surrounding us I could hear her so clearly.

“Yeah, sounds cool.” I knew I was being stupid. This girl had nothing on y/n. She was plastic as I liked to say. I could see the inch of makeup on her face and I knew her eyelashes were certainly not that long naturally. She had a killer body, but girls like her only ate salads and sucked on lollipops to curb their appetite. I just wanted to dull this pain in my heart. I wanted to just stop feeling like I was a piece of shit who knocked up their girlfriend, had no income besides my mom sending me cash every month, and who was most likely going to loose their scholarship in a few weeks. Then what? Y/n deserved better. I have never had ambitions to be a family man.

“Well,” The blonde brought me to a couch tucked away in what appeared to be a study in the home. I was surprised with how crowded the party was that there wasn’t a single sole in the room.

“Well,” I repeated back. I took a large sip of my beer and smiled at her in a flirtatious way.

“I’m Karie, and I know you’re Warren. The teacher always calls on you because you never pay attention in class.” She giggled again and it was a little annoying how forced it sounded.

“Yeah, I’m not really an American literature kind of guy,” I took another sip. I needed more booze to get me through this.

“What kind of guy are you?” God, she sounded like she watched a lot of rom coms. I bet she was a big fan of Failure to Launch and 10 things I hate about you.

“I’m whatever you want me to be,” I stated. God, I hated myself.

She gave me a warm smile and took a sip of her own beer. You could tell in her face that she was more of a boxed wine kind of gal. She placed the cup on the coffee table in front of us.

Suddenly, her lips were on mine. They felt so different then the lips I was used to for the last 5 years. They were smaller, and much stickier. I let her tongue slide into my mouth, and I found myself placing my beer down on the table and then placing my hands on her waist. I let myself just go with whatever she was doing for a moment. I pretended it was y/n. I pretended that we were not in the positions we were in and that we were together at a party just living in the moment. Things are easy like they’d always been. Reality was, things were going to be hard and I was so mad at myself that I wasn’t a better man for her.

Karie sneaked closer to me, wanting more of whatever I was giving her. She grabbed my hand off her waist and slowly moved it up towards her breast. I could feel the padding under my hand and I froze. I gently pushed away and closed my eyes.

“I can’t….uh I’m pregnant…fuck,” I finally opened my eyes to look at her and she was staring at me like I was absolutely insane.

“I mean, my girlfriend is. I…”
“You have a girlfriend?” Her eyes were wide and she leaned away from me. I felt a relief in my chest.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.. Um I gotta go.” I quickly got up and ran my hands through my hair. FUCK. I felt sick-I could feel the alcohol working its magic as the room spun a little when I had started walking away.

I weaved my way between a bunch of people down the hallway back into the kitchen. Karie’s friends were still huddled next to the keg, and one of them looked over at me and smirked. She was about to get an earful for sure. I walked past them casually and looked around for Spencer. He was surprisingly still outside, talking to some cute nerdy girl. It looked like she was showing him some of her artwork on her phone.

“Spence, let’s go!” I shouted as I approached him. He looked over at me and could immediately tell I was disheveled and anxious to leave.

“Okay okay, I’ll meet you at the car in a sec,” He looked me up and down. I wanted him to just come with me, but I didn’t want to be that big of a cock block where he didn’t even get her number. I just nodded and smiled politely at the girl he was with before making my way down the steps of the house and darting down the street.

“Fuck,” I whispered to myself. I pulled out my emergency blunt from my jacket pocket. I lit it up and took a hit.

I got to my car and wondered for a second if I should even be driving. No, I probably shouldn’t but I needed to get to of there.

It felt like 10 years before I saw Spencer at the passenger side window waving to be let in. I unlocked the door and he shoved his body in quickly. As soon as the door was shut I was taking off down the street.

“Everything okay?” He questioned me. He was a good friend, I was lucky.

“Yeah, just felt like leaving. The keg was tapped, and the house smelt like vomit.” I tried to laugh like nothing was bothering me, and he knew not to push. We were quiet for a few moments and the sound of the wheels on the road calmed my nerves. I was driving away from my problems yet again, and I found comfort in that.

“Yo want to know something wack?” Spencer broke the silence.

I took another hit, waiting for him to tell me.

“I was in the special collections room at my schools library today. There’s this piece of work inside there is worth freaking 12 million bucks.”

Spencer’s always telling me weird facts. It was just how he was, and when we would get completely baked it would make for the coolest conversations.

“You’re shitting me? No way is there a book worth that much money,” I laughed.

“Nah, it’s not a book. It’s like a collection of paintings,” he stated “like if Picasso had a bunch of his paintings in a book.”

“What’s it sitting in a shelf in the library?” I was suddenly curious. Why was this book in some random college library if it was worth that much?

Spencer shook his head, “no the special collections room is super secure. You can’t just walk in there.”

“So there’s security everywhere?” I asked as I pulled into the gas station. Spencer needed water and a pack of gum. He didn’t want his parents knowing he had been out drinking.

He got out of the car and looked back down at me “No, you need an appointment,” He stated before closing the door and I watched him swiftly walk into the station.

Man, what I would do with $12 Million. Hell, with $1 million. Y/N and would never have to worry. We could live our lives without a struggle and be happy. Our baby would have everything it would ever need and more. For a split crazy moment I wondered what it would take for me to be able to get my hands on that book.

Spencer came back out to the car and started to open a packet of those white powdered mini donuts. I was staring at him, and he could feel it.

“What?” He asked.

“I think you know what.” I drove off and I could tell by Spencers change in body language that he did in fact know exactly what I was thinking.

[incubatorbycora]

Tell None

When I got a job at Tell Technologies I only knew about their innovations in Symbots. I suspected I would get to work on a technology that most people use. It’s something so massive, yet I would get to be a part of it. I never stopped to think why they chose me though. I’m not a particularly remarkable person.

As soon as they gave me the coordinate address for the location I would be working, I should have known I wasn’t getting a design job. Their main design campus was at 928, 0, 77 USA block 5. But the coordinate address they gave me was down at -700y. Coordinate addresses don’t go that low, they should end at -345. If they go any further down they’d be reaching into the mantle of the earth.

If my apartment wasn’t built 200 years ago, I might have a teleport module inside, but instead I’m forced to walk to the nearest port hub. Even though I left early the line was long. People seemed extra slow today especially the elderly, but that wasn’t unusual. I looked over to the out-chamber trying to recall if anyone had come through. No one likely had it was 7:45am in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. Wisconsin was not the front of any major development.

I finally reached the in-chamber and stepped inside. The central plate depressed, and the machine began to whir. I typed in my information to the center console; one passenger, my tpID number via scan, and finally the coordinate address for the Tell Technologies building. I was nervous, this address didn’t seem right. To my surprise the machine recognized the location and primed itself. Priming gives a high tone that rises briefly in pitch. It always makes me a little anxious hearing that tone. I put my hand on the lever hesitated for a moment, but finally pulled it down. I could feel the vibration of the rings circling around me and then in just a few seconds there was a flash.

Standing now in an out chamber somewhere unfamiliar, my eyes adjusted from the teleporter’s flash. It was hot. So hot. Hotter than the summer sun in Arizona. I stepped out from the chamber. The small room around me was just big enough to fit the two teleport chambers. The walls and floor were made of a thick, dull gray, concrete like material.  Several feet away on the opposite wall two doorways sit open leading into a vast open room. The blinding orange glow made it impossible to see any details.

I was scheduled to start training at 8 so eager to make a good impression and be on time I pushed through the unknow doorway into the room. Immediately I was grabbed. Despite the heat a cold hand wrapped around my arm and dragged me along. I hand no sense for where I was. I was hot, dazed by the amber glow, and in pain from being forcibly moved.

My arm thud against a solid metal table. Before I could even think about moving my arm away, a hot iron was pressed to my face-up inner arm. In the smoldering building, hot was relative and I couldn’t tell if I was being burned or if it was some other sensation. Whatever it was, it was excruciating.

I must have blacked out from the pain because the next thing I remember is waking up in an office. The temperature was much more manageable in this room, it even felt cool in comparison. The room was depressingly empty, just an office chair behind a desk with some computing interface on top. Other than that, there was the cheap upholstered chair I was sitting on. It was a typical, drab, square office space.

I sat up in the chair and regained my composure. Memory of the previous moments came back as I looked down at my searing arm. The pain had mostly gone, but I could tell I would be feeling it the next morning. I touched the circular mark. It didn’t hurt to touch nor was it hot or cold. It simply felt like the rest of my skin, but it gave off a ghostly orange glow. The mark was a three fourths circle, a part of Tell’s logo.

Before I had any more time to examine the mark someone entered the door behind me. They came rushing in with a level of urgency. A burst of hot air came with them, but it dissipated quickly as the door shut. I swept my hair out of my eyes to get a better look at the person who walked in. They had on a dark gray suit with a black undershirt and a light blue tie. They looked like they were wearing armor, their hands were covered in metallic platting. Their boots seemed to be made of the same material and made a metallic click as they walked. I looked up and instead of being greeted by a face I saw a metal helmet with an orange visor. The visor took up all the front face of the helmet and even wrapped around the sides. They stood behind the desk with their hands placed on top. They leaned forward and spoke.

“Hi, welcome to training.” Their voice was somewhat deep with a mostly androgenous, but slightly feminine tone. “I would have given you the run down, but it seems our security bots got to you first. Thankfully they recognized you as an unmarked employee and not an intruder… getting fired means something a little different around here.” They straightened their posture and spoke with hand gestures. “You wanted to work at Tell, well now you’re in Hell…” They looked up to the corner where a camera sat watching. They then turned back and said, “I mean that as a joke of course.” They nodded their head and If I could have seen their face behind the visor, I probably would have seen them wink. “Well anyways, I’m Terra, hi. I use she/they pronouns don’t get it twisted. I’ll be your supervisor here in the armory.”

“I don’t know if this is what I had in mind when I put ‘okay with any position’ on my application. Armory? I didn’t know Tell was a weapons manufacturer.” I tried to speak with confidence, but I doubt any came across.

“Uh yeah… you see, this is operation is not public information. Is it illegal? Um, probably. That’s why you have that mark on your arm.” The mark on my arm started searing with pain. “If you even think about telling someone about this place the mark will hurt you. If you try to speak about it so someone who doesn’t also have a mark, then it’ll just kill you.” She said it so bluntly.

“WHAT!!!” I was taken aback.

“You did read the contract, right?”

[whentherewerebicycles]

with work stuff I am going to try my best to set good boundaries around when I’m available—like really striving to keep evenings/weekends as no-work zones except when we have events (and then adjusting my weekly schedule so I’m not working extra hours). but I also want to really try, in this first month or two, to say yes to as many invites to attend classes/talks/events and to see my primary job as building relationships with people and mapping the institutional landscape. I think in my previous program job I self-isolated a lot initially because I was worried about whether I was qualified to do the work and was scared that if I talked to too many people about what I was doing they’d be like uhh how did you get this job. then of course the pandemic derailed everything just as I was starting to settle in, and by the time we got back to campus there was an end date on our grant and I couldn’t really do the type of long-term networking I finally felt ready to do.

I don’t want to make that mistake again! what I learned in the later stages of that job was that if I had started talking to people earlier I could have oriented myself in the role a lot faster and made better use of other people’s insights/expertise in redesigning our program. things still turned out okay (and maybe had to unfold that way so I could learn this particular lesson!) but I’ve learned it now lol and I want to apply it in this new job. like I can already feel those first tendrils of panicky self-doubt… like what if I talk to a bunch of people and they’re all like “wow… how did they hire you when you don’t know anything about [insert random niche topic my brain has chosen to fixate on that day as the thing that will lead to my Unmasking].” but also like probably that won’t happen haha as I am a qualified professional and a capable person with a good track record of not making a fool of myself in my past jobs. AND ALSO I want to really push myself to model the behaviors I am always working to instill in my students, such as:

do the thing that scares you

do it little bit before you’re ready

talk to everyone! and be open with everyone you talk to about what you’re trying to learn or discover or figure out or build

assume that most people love to feel useful & especially love to be able to use their insight or connections or expertise to help you

don’t front! don’t front! don’t front! ask for help & advice easily, casually, and often. never pretend you’ve read the thing you haven’t read or know how to do the thing you haven’t learned or are confidently able to navigate the thing that feels murky and confusing to you. as one of my kids wrote in his end of year reflection letter: the more you ask for help the less you end up needing it, because you have so many people you can casually talk to or enlist assistance from that you’re typically able to solve your problems or challenges typically get solved before they become big scary paralyzing roadblocks. so don’t front! don’t perform! be honest and open about your own learning or the things you’re grappling with in ways that make the people around you feel like it’s okay for them to drop the act too and let others see when they too are in the process of learning something new

we are social creatures we are networked creatures we can’t do everything on our own we flourish when we build relationships with people who have skillsets and ways of looking at the world that are different from our own it’s okay/good/healthy to not be able to do everything and be everything on your own. build a really good community both of people who are skilled at the things that don’t come naturally to you (they can help you/teach you/introduce you to different ways of working) AND of people who are skilled at the things that you are good at (they will spark new ideas while pushing you to keep growing and learning).

anyway I am saying all of this aloud to myself because today I have gotten a bunch of very nice emails from faculty inviting me to attend a bunch of talks & end-of-semester student events and my first reaction was YIPPEE I CAN’T WAIT and my second reaction was what if I embarrass myself by not knowing enough and they’re all like wowwwww yikes and I am now gently steering myself towards my third reaction which is: gosh how incredibly lucky am I to have landed myself in a job where I’m going to have SO much room to grow as a person and a professional. I don’t know everything but I can reframe that fear for myself: if I knew everything there would be nothing left to learn! and I was born to learn!!!!! learning is where I thrive!!!!!!!! so even as I want to be thoughtful about what I take on (to preserve a non-work life for myself lol) I am also saying yes to every single invitation that involves talking to new people and learning more about what they do and building relationships that will help me thrive in this role. PHEW OK and now it’s time for bed

[hinatastinygiant]

9 | Terracotta

Pairing: Bokuto x Fem!Reader

Escapism Masterlist

After the party, you and Kuroo get a Lyft back to the dorms. Together, you walk across campus and step inside the dorm building you both live in. You follow him back to his room where he knocks before entering, just to let Kenma know he’s back. But when you walk in, Kenma’s already fast asleep.

“Come in, I’ll shut the door,” he whispers to you as he welcomes you in. You remove your shoes by his desk and jump up on his bed.

When Kuroo does the same, he places his hand on your cheek and leans close to you as he had done in the frat bathroom. But before he can kiss you, you slap your hand over your own mouth.

“Fuck, I need the bathroom,” you tell him with widening eyes. “I think you mighta been right about those drinks.

“Shit,” he grumbles as he gets off the bed and pulls you into the men’s bathroom across the hall.

Kuroo bursts open the first stall and holds your hair back as you kneel over the toilet that looks as though it needs a deep clean.

After you throw up, you lean against the stall to catch your breath. Kuroo runs out and comes back within the minute holding a water bottle. “Here, drink up,” he tells you.

“How come you’re always taking care of me,” you shake your head as you accept the water. “Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he sighs as he leans across the opposite wall. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Kinda. But sitting on a nasty bathroom floor isn’t really helping,” you smile tiredly.

“Want me to run one of the showers for you?” he then offers.

“Seriously, you’re too good to me. That would be wonderful,” you sigh at the thought of a clean shower.

“You got it,” he nods as he stands up and walks across the room to turn on the shower.

When he returns, he helps you up and walks you over to the shower. He then stands guard as you undress and step behind the curtain.

“Mind if I walk out for literally one minute? I’ll grab a shirt for you to wear,” he calls out as you put your face into the somewhat warm water.

“Sure, go ‘head.”

After your shower, he helps you slip into one of his large t-shirts and walks you back to his bed.

The next morning, before you wake up, Kenma and Kuroo both leave to get breakfast. When you wake alone, you check your phone and see a text from Kuroo.

Kuroo: Didn’t want to wake you up. Kenma and I went for breakfast. I’ll be right back with some for you :)

The text brings a small smile to your face, but it’s nothing compared to the one you get when Kuroo knocks on the door and walks in.

He sets you up with food on his desk which you consume in the blink of an eye. “I don’t know what made me hungrier, puking or being hung over,” you sigh as you finally lean back in the chair.

“Probably both,” he laughs. “Do you have any classes today?” he then asks.

“I’ve got two but they’re both after lunch,” you tell him. “What about you?”

“I’ve got one at two,” he nods. “So I’m good.”

“I was surprised to see you were at the party last night. What made you go?”

“Y/N, I have a social life you know,” he laughs. “I just don’t go to lame places like you do,” he adds with a wink.

“Ouch.”

After you finish eating, you approach Kuroo on his bed and lay back down beside him. You’re pretty sure you fell asleep again, too, because the next thing you know, it’s noon.

When you wake, you look over at Kuroo and see him staring up at the ceiling.

“Are you okay?” you ask him with a smile.

“Yeah, just still tired as hell from last night,” he explains.

“Same here,” you laugh, “but that extra little nap helped. Especially since I think I’ll be working my first shift at The Jukebox tonight.”

“Huh?” he asks as he sits up a bit more to get a better look at you. “He’s got you working there now? Is this about the food we didn’t pay for? ‘Cause I’m not lookin’ for a job right now.”

“Yeah, Bo called me the other night and said his grandpa was in the hospital so I offered to help for a little while,” you explain.

“Holy shit, his grandpa’s in the hospital?” he replies, shocked. Apparently, Bokuto didn’t tell him the news. “Damn, I’ve gotta call him. Thank god he’s got you to help him out. I know Bokuto really appreciates it.”

“Well I’m really glad you saved me last night,” you smile up at him. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if I actually drank that spiked drink that guy was trying to pawn off on me.”

“Good thing you’ve got me keeping an eye on you,” he laughs. “You need it. But the catch is no more coke and try not to get drugged without your consent, okay?” he teases.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” you hum as you sit up and look down at him. “Thanks, Kuroo.”

After thanking him, you lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips. He kisses back, deepening it, too. Not wanting you to leave. But when you pull away, he watches as you carefully back off.

You then say your goodbyes to Kuroo and pack up your things. After one more kiss, you walk out of Kuroo’s room with just his big t-shirt still on. You’re walking in the dorms on Monday morning. Nobody’s going to notice let alone say anything.

When you get back to your room, you unintentionally interrupt whatever conversation Phoebe and Kenji were just having. Instead, they stop midsentence and turn their heads to face you in the blink of an eye.

“So Kuroo, huh?” Kenji grins.

“Guess you took my advice for once,” Phoebe chuckles. “I’m glad you went for it.”

“Are you sure you’re not pissed that it was him of all people?” you ask once again.

“Y/N, I got off the Kuroo Express a long time ago. No offense, but I don’t really think he’s my type anymore,” she smiles back.

“Okay, well then do you guys want me to give you all the details or not?” you grin.

“Duh!” Kenji beams, “but not here. I’m starving. Can we please go to the dining hall first?”

“Of course,” you grin. “Let me get dressed and then we can go.”

Escapism Masterlist

[idaclarke]

ic task 004: interrogations 

maybe she shouldn’t have done that line of coke in her bathroom before walking over to the faculty building for this ‘interview’, but what did she have to lose? not much it seemed. time and time again ida had been able to smile and wiggle herself out of tough positions, and today was no different. 

“could i possibly have a cup of water? i forgot my water bottle and i am parched.” ida laughed as she looked over at the agents who led her inside the room. “certainly, just one moment.” one nodded, before stepping into the hallway. she settled into the seat, crossed her legs, and gave a bright smile to the agents left. “i’m ida by the way.” they give her blank stares. until the one guy moves, first pointing at himself “agent brown.” he states and then points the pen at the woman to his left. “agent murray.” and then turns to the door where the very handsome man is returning, a cup in hand. what were the ethics of sleeping with an fbi agent? “and that’s agent choi.” he smiles, sliding the cup toward ida before taking a seat, leaning into his chair in such a causal yet assured way. it was hot. 

“so ida, how’s it going? you’re a…” choi looks down at his notebook, “senior right? so almost graduating? what’s next for you?” ida cocks her head to the side as she thinks. do they all have notes on the students? keeping track of them for a case? 

she should have a lawyer here. but she sure as shit can’t afford one. maybe she should have seen if she could have borrowed someone’s family lawyer for the time being. 

“yes sir that’s right, in my senior year, tryin’ to fight off that senioritis.” she laughs, but is met with only still silence. tough crowd. “but i’m applyin’ to graduate and phd programs. apparently i actually do like school.” they only nodded, with brown clasping his hands together as he watched ida. “school’s a good thing to like.” he mumbled. 

“so ida, can you tell us about your time capsule video? your clip kicked off that whole leaked tape. wanna give us some context?” choi asked easily, smoothly, as if it was nothing. as if the leak wasn’t a total violation of privacy. 

and as if the leaked part of her video was the most interesting part. which was what annoyed her the most. it didn’t even make her seem fun. “well, what can i say?” she shrugged, leaning back into the chair. these were far more comfortable than the metal ones during the last interrogation. “this place ain’t always your friend.” they gave her a quizzical look. “can you elaborate on that?” 

she sighed, people didn’t just get it did they? “look, i’m from a small town in eastern tennessee. i grew up on a farm, it’s a miracle my parents had more than one child go to college. institutions like these? ain’t always kind or meant for people like me. and there’s actually a lot of students here like that. but it goes ignored. and really…” she pointed her finger, now on a roll. “institutions like ogden, don’t wanna be anybodies friend. these institutions are built to uplift the already rich and privileged, pour money back into their own pockets, and have a miracle student every now and then so they can pretend like they do a good job. so no, this place ain’t your friend. but that don’t mean you can’t make the most of it. which is what my entire video was about.” 

there was another pause of silence as one of them scribbled away, and brown just looked at her. maybe it was confusion, but she thought she saw some admiration in his gaze. “sounds like you’ve got some strong feelings there ida.” he finally noted. “it runs in my family.” 

“speaking of the time capsule, were you aware that greer morrison submitted a video at the end of last year?” brown glanced back at his notes. 

“now agent brown…why would i know that?” she looked at him quizzically, meeting his stare. “i honestly didn’t know nobody was submittin’ anythin’. i thought i might just be the only one doin’ it so…it was a bit of a surprise.” that was the truth, a shock across campus it seemed. ida hadn’t been immune to that. and the little threat against her boyfriend…it was an interesting twist. ida liked it. but she wasn’t going to admit that much. 

“so…had greer brought up breaking up with her boyfriend before? or anything like she mentioned in the video?” he carried on, barely giving ida the attention she deserved. 

“not to me. we weren’t best friends or anything. maybe she told some strangers in a bar? you know like you do when you’re contemplating somethin’, spillin’ all your secrets to a stranger so that they can’t actually get back to you. but no, greer didn’t tell me anythin’, sorry i’m not much help.” there wasn’t much response, and ida leaned forward. “is that what you do ida? spill your secrets to strangers? what kind of secrets do you have?” agent brown continued, eyebrow quirking at her. 

“i mean, have you ever met drunk women in a bathroom? it’s all ‘break up with your boyfriend’, and ‘should i quit my job?” and ‘i think my boyfriend is a cheatin’ sonofabitch’. those kinda things officers - agents.” she corrected herself with a nod, clasping her hands together. “and i don’t got any secrets agent brown. my momma taught me better than that. i’m a good christian woman.” brown just shook his head, hiding a chuckle. “yea, okay there.” briefly she narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her legs now and leaning back into the chair. 

“on the subject of secrets, were you aware of anything regarding the naive newcomer and steroids?” 

“holy shit? he was usin’ steroids?” her jaw dropped, in actual disbelief. this was definitely a ripple in the water cause damn, she hadn’t seen that coming. but should she actually be surprised? considering where she was? shit people did that stuff at home because they had nothin’ better to do. and here? the money and pressure was insurmountable. no worries. 

“so did you know anything?” 

“no, nothin’, kinda wish i did though. makes life more excitin’.” the last part slipped out and she shrugged, the coke definitely lifting her spirits now. it didn’t matter right? she’d get out of this scotch-free. 

“mhm…alright then.” brown just nodded, glancing over at the other agents as they jotted some things down. that had to be good right? “some other students have brought up your relationship with greer, why do you think they thought it was relevant?” 

now this was interesting. ida made sure to glance upwards as she thought, biting her bottom lip. why would it be relevant? “honestly, i don’t know.” not that it really mattered to people, or others, what her relationship with greer had been like. no one actually knew the truth. “i don’t know why they would have thought it was relevant. we were friends her freshman year, my sophomore year, but it fizzled out as things go. we had some other friends in common too, so we weren’t totally isolated from each other. there’s not much more to add there.” 

another scribble into the notepad and ida shifted yet again in her seat. she was getting antsy now. “were you aware of greer planning to visit portugal this summer?” 

“and she couldn’t have packed me with her?” ida gave a small laugh that was met with silence. so she cleared her throat and nodded, straightening up. “no, i didn’t. but her goin’, me not knowin’, neither is very surprisin’ ain’t it?” her pointer finger flicked back and forth to emphasize her point. choi just nodded, but offered not much more to comment. which was disappointing to ida. 

“do you have any reason to believe that the golden girl would want to leave ogden college?” brown jutted in again, pulling her attention back to him. 

of course there was reasons. and ida was happy for it. ogden was better for it. “i mean…can you imagine the kinda pressure she was under? she’s a morrison, her name means somethin’. people looked to her for guidance, for friendship, out of jealousy. all of that hog shit sorta thing. wouldn’t you wanna break from this?” she waved her hand her hand, looking between choi and brown seriously. “not sayin’ that’s why she’s gone. but bein’ a young woman ain’t easy. not like you two would have any idea.” she nodded her head, turning to meet the woman’s eyes with an easy smile. once again she was met with stares and silence. fine, they definitely aren’t as easy to please as her hometown cops. 

“right, thanks for the ida. one last question and then you’re free.” brown spoke again, leaning back in his chair to look over at her, studying her. she met his gaze with a raised eyebrow and small smirk. “fire away agent.” 

“is there anything you know you’re not sharing with us?” 

“absolutely not.” she answered a little too quickly, placing a hand on her chest in feign offense. “i respect the work y’all do, and i worry about greer. i want to give you all,” her eyes panned across the agents faces, “the information you may need, and to help you in any way that i can.” her eyes settled back on choi, and then to brown as she spoke. 

“that’ll do, thank you for coming in ida, and good luck on your finals.” brown nodded, moving to stand up and indicated for her to do the same. she grabbed her cup of water with a smile. “thank y’all! we’re glad you’re here!” she lied, before sauntering out of the door and down the hallway, wondering exactly what greer was up to, and what the agents had on everyone. and how could she find the same notoriety?

[angelsnaiils]

diary 08/05/23

okay i’m writing this in the morning so it’s actually mostly going to be about yesterday heh ◝꒰ ´ ˘ `♡ ꒱ my sister and i went thrifting yesterday!! i was honestly pretty successful, i got a cute new sweater, a pink button up for layering, a white blazer, low waisted vs pink yoga pants, black uggs!!?, and white mary jane heels!

quick happy rants about what i’m most excited about …

like pretty much any other clothing product made from animals (such as leather), i would never buy uggs new, however i don’t mind buying secondhand. they’re in pretty good condition and they’re not the iconic brown but i think these will actually fit my style needs better!! that’s why i love thrifting, i often end up finding things that fit MY tastes so perfectly hehe - much better than normal shopping.

im also THRILLED about the heels!!! i have my first ever lolita meet in two weeks (!!!!) and i was a little worried because i don’t have actual lolita shoes yet, i only have these amazon shoes i got as a gift and they do the job but ugh i didn’t want to wear amazon to a meet ૮꒰ྀི ◞ ⸝⸝⸝ ◟ ꒱ྀི১ typically i wear converse or boots because i just wear lolita on campus and am a little lax with rules … anyways!!these came at the perfect time!! i also picked up a bag of various pink and white ribbon at one of the thrift stores and i was able to create the perfect little bows to attach to the heels so they’re properly lolita ໒꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀིა

finally the yoga pants! i’d been considering getting a pair for a while now, which is funny bc i had them like 10 years ago.. ah, fashion cycles.. anyways, my mom found them and they fit like a glove! i really love the low waist, i discovered that i actually LOVE low waisted bottoms so i’m very happy to add these to my closet. they have the classic little vs pink dog on the waist which i love ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭ i’m excited to wear these on my study-at-home days this fall!

phew, okay!

after shopping i got to hang out with my bf and friends (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪ we usually would have played dnd, but since i’m still recovering i didn’t feel up to it so instead we played a board game and just relaxed and chatted :3 it was really nice! AND one of my friends had put together a whole care package for me ૮꒰ྀི ◞ ⸝⸝⸝ ◟ ꒱ྀི১ she got me pudding, soup, a candle, a soft pink blanket, and YARN! she’s seriously the sweetest, i have the best friends ♡

today, i desperately need to clean my room… will probably also do some discord work and crochet or work on my accessories for the meet! right now i’m about to plan my meals for the day since i’m still on extremely soft foods and liquids :”) id also like to take a walk! i’ve hated not being able to do much exercise, i miss running :( but i’ll be fully healed soon!

thanks for reading + have a lovely day my friends!! ໒꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀིა

[roxygenstudiesagain]

100 days of productivity (6/100) 12/13/22

It just hit post midnight here but my plans are to work hard tomorrow so it counts. I’ve been eating better, more varied diet. Wanna cut a lot of meat out again but I’ll need to really ensure a steady supply of protein. Plus I need to get back into smoothies coz they’re a safe food when ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇʀᴛᴀ ʜɪᴛs. Medicated adhd fam rise up.

Todays highlights.

Mission- make it mindful

Above is breakfast (shrimp skewers on salad, air fried eggs rolls) Waking up late (just before noon meant I was able to push it to a point where I genuinely felt hungry before every meal today (usually a struggle)

Had a meeting/interview for a gig I just applied for. It’s unpaid but they’d let me prioritize paid work and work at my own pace n a guaranteed position when the studio takes off so I’m really considering it despite the slight red flags. I actually recently found myself having to back out of a toxic production for an acquaintance and I think of push comes to shove I’ll be able to clock out.

Scooted to campus and dropped off my job packet. It’ll be processed later today. I hope I’m good at my new gig

Worked on paid work n rough storyboards. The boards will need another pass to work but it’s good progress

School work, got closer to finishing off my finals so I can just switch focus before my holiday break.

Went to group therapy, got my refill of hydroxyzine. I also have 1-1 later this week and I’m trying to use my new phone to really record relevant topics

Exercise biked 30 min, gonna shoot for 60 tomorrow. Logged all food, I’m getting better at it! Need to now incorporate a walk also into my day and I think I’ll be really set to get fit without even feeling like it’s effort. Once I make some cash I might look into investing in exercise gear to make it more bang for my buck. Drank a few liters of water. Meditated, towards the end of the day but I needed it. Very little anxiety today but I did medicate a lot after a flare up yesterday on klonopin which stays in your system for a while so I think it was that. Saving the rest for my pmdd episodes which will start soon

Actually did Japanese and Spanish lessons (getting better at kana wooo) and read a lot

Did some mild housekeeping, dishes, laundry

Fave and skin care on point. Idk my personal hygiene has come so far, I’m happy

Productivity success

Need to do:

Finish finals coursework entirely. Just get it out of the way. Deadline is end of the week.

Make list of app subs I actually want and will use

Make a list of smoothies I can make for a menu

Go to doctor appointment and get my referrals out on Friday

Finish commissions and my current non academic workload before the year ends

De clutter and reinvent wardrobe

Plants- real and fake

Get back into spirituality

[mycreativepractice]

My Day Today

So, I woke up today not feeling so hot. I had a pretty sore throat and just generally felt lethargic and not ready to start my day of work. I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but I’ve skipped every day this week. I’m a bit of a perfectionist in my daily life. I have no problem getting things done, but when I feel that I am incapable of doing things perfectly I often just avoid doing the thing. That’s how I feel about the gym. I’m not great at lifting weights and feel pretty incompetent compared to the other people at the gym, so I find myself skipping out of fear of failure. Anyway, that’s what happened this morning. I woke up slowly and made myself a coffee, then proceeded to drown out the taste of the coffee with creamer. I used to think caffeine didn’t affect me, but there’s something about the ritual of drinking coffee itself that I enjoy, it helps me wake up and start my day. This is especially the case on days where I am not feeling 100%. 

Once I finished my coffee (took me about an hour). I finally got up out of bed and got dressed for work. I sometimes wear makeup, usually on days that I head onto campus for class. But today I had a full day of teaching so I just put on clothes and brushed my hair/teeth to get ready. I headed out for my first class at about 10:00 am. My first class went really well, I was teaching a lesson about a ram. The kids were not huge fans at first, but it actually ended up being the most successful lesson I’ve had with this class. A lot of kids finished. A lot of my kids who aren’t the happiest drawing did a super good job today which was great.

I had a lunch break and ate a gigantic salad that I had prepped for by chopping vegetables earlier this week. I ate my salad slowly while watching videos on my phone. I paired the salad with a sweet tea. My salad had tons of chickpeas, lettuce, peppers, tomatoes, red onions, a very large helping of mozzarella cheese, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper on it.

I headed out to my second class where we were doing a very cute drawing of an Axolotl. This has been all my classes’ favorite drawing. The kids were super enthusiastic and were actually generally well-behaved today (this was out of character for this group of kids). One boy who had lost his drawing last week got reunited with his drawing and he was so happy! Made me feel really happy that he was so excited about his artwork. I also returned another drawing to a different girl who had forgotten hers last week. She was equally excited. I really love my students and working with them brings me so much joy and fulfillment. By the end of my day today I am feeling a lot better than I was this morning, my students were a big factor in making me feel better. 

9.28.22

5:01 pm