#i’m unwell and not just because i have covid

[moriphyte]

i’m cool i’m chill i’m fiiine it’s just thinking about inconsolable differences and boundless sands still feels like having my bones broken one by one and the only cure is to close my eyes and imagine ccrime passed the fuck out under a pile of mismatched blankets safe and sound in wilbur shitty apartment in the middle of the desert. i’m normal…..when they wake up they’re gonna get breakfast at the diner. wilbur drinks his coffee that’s more cream than coffee and feels soemthing like light when he watches tommy laugh and talk through a mouth full of blueberry pancakes and stained cheeks. and he has to wipe pancake off his glasses cause tommy isn’t tommy if he’s not talking with his mouth full and wilbur isn’t wilbur unless he’s pouring eight containers of creamer into his shitty black coffee and tommy and wilbur aren’t tommy and wilbur if they’re not together.

[corrine-dartagnan]

does anyone else ever feel like they will never be able to form meaningful connections or friendships

[annoyinglibra]

Oh okay so my fever went back up after getting so close to my normal body temp and I’m super sore all over again but the soreness is worse than what it was before the fever began going down what the hell

[hobisexually]

x

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend after uncovering his web of lies?

Ok. I’m going to try keep this as short as possible, and there’s some things I’ll keep out because I don’t want to accidentally reveal our identities. I (31, m) just broke up with my partner (35,m) of 3 years. We met on an app during Covid, and lived together for 2 and a half years of that. I truly loved him, he was a challenging person which sometimes led to fiery arguments that I hadn’t experienced in past relationships, but he also pushed me to feel more comfortable with confrontation and conflict which I needed. He was also really ambitious and supported my ambitions; I’ve had 3 promotions since we got together and I wouldn’t have dared to go for them if it hadn’t been for his encouragement. Basically, on the surface it all seemed really great.

That is until I discovered he had lied about his entire past - and some of his present. It all started when I stumbled across pics of “his home” online and discovered they were a museum (he claimed to be from a wealthy background). I asked him and he said it was to protect his family’s identity and swore there were no more lies.

I have never met his family, nor talked to them on the phone - they are in another country and he claimed they were old fashioned and wanted to meet in person, but Covid was in the way at first, and then his mum was unwell. After discovering the pictures were a lie, I started to really think about other stories he’d told me and what evidence I really had for them. The more I thought, the more I realised things didn’t add up.

A few examples: his mum and dad both apparently had high profile jobs but I couldn’t find anything about them online; he claimed to be from money but wouldn’t buy himself a car and borrowed mine; he claimed to have a brother my age but I couldn’t find any social media of his.

There was a lot more, but that was enough to make me question whether there were more lies. I asked him a few weeks later why I couldn’t find anything about his parents online, and asked to be introduced to his brother on social media. I told him that this felt like the most normal thing that would happen in relationships - I was very clear that I didn’t want to test him, I just wanted some contact with someone who knew him before I did. He said it wasn’t possible because he was more distant from his family than he’d led me to believe, due to childhood abuse that his parents had refused to acknowledge. I’m also a survivor of childhood abuse so this touched a nerve and the conversation shifted to me wanting to support him and make him know I believed him.

Anyway. Fast forward another two months and nothing has changed. Tonight, it came to a head in a discussion where he wanted to get rid of my favourite chair in order to make room for a new TV. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with this because I felt insecure in the relationship as nothing had been resolved. I went over my concerns again and suddenly his whole tone shifted. He asked if I was “ready for the truth” and asked me not to share it with anyone.

The truth turned out to be very different from everything he’d said over the past 3 years. Whether it is the truth, I don’t know, but he claimed that his mum was actually a drug addict and he hadn’t known his dad until he was 18, he was removed by child services at 14 and the character he created as his mum to me was based on the woman he lived with during that time. He never studied abroad as he had first claimed, and a whole load of other lies. The worst lie was that his mum had cancer - the reason why we couldn’t visit because she didn’t want him to see her while she was weak (this made sense with the strong character her created for her). It turns out apparently the woman who took him in died from cancer when he was 18 and he based it on that. Now, I don’t even know how much of this is true, but it feels closer to the truth than the original stories. The thing is, he’s cried on me about his mums cancer, and he’s told my mum about it (a cancer survivor), and regularly talks about it in detail. In fact, all his stories have had incredible detail - which is what made us all believe them.

Now, here’s where I may be the arsehole. After he confessed all of this, I said I can’t be in a relationship with him because I can’t trust him. But he took a big step in admitting it all to me and he’s clearly very unwell if he is lying on this scale. He clearly has had a traumatic past and he told me that his lies were because any time he opens up to people about his past he loses them. I worry that by breaking up with him, I’m reinforcing this cycle where he feels he has to lie to be loved. The thing is - none of what he told me in any of this was the reason why I love him. I didn’t care where he came from, or his claims of wealth, etc. I just liked who he was as a person. I really feel torn because on the one hand he is clearly in need of help, stability and love in order to heal himself so that he doesn’t feel the need to lie. On the other hand, I can’t foresee being able to trust him in the near future. So, AITA for breaking up with someone who is so desperately in need of love and support?

What are these acronyms?

[j0hnj4ej3n]

nct dream taking care of you when you're sick

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: mentions of food, not eating well, vomiting, fainting, covid and a pregnancy scare, let me know if i missed out anything  

Notes: hello everyone! i’m back from my family holiday and will be posting more now~ here’s a little something for you all hehe <3 hope you all enjoy reading it!! if any of you have any requests, do feel free to send them in, till next time, have a wonderful week ahead everyone <3

𔘓Mark:

When Mark finds you curled up under your blanket on the couch when he gets home, he’s already worried. Because one, you’re usually excited to engulf him in a hug and two, it’s summer and he’s sweating from the short walk back from the bus stop but you’re wrapped up like a burrito, unmoving and pale. “Babe? You okay?” Mark comes to sit by you, instinctively pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “Dude, you’re burning…” “I’m fine Mark, just need to rest,” you mumble out. You’re sleepy and cold and finally comfortable on the couch after feeling unwell all afternoon. You’ve been really busy recently, with classes and your part-time job and it seems your body is finally breaking from your packed schedules and lack of sleep. “You’re running a fever babe, come on,” Mark says as he lifts you up bridal style, together with your blanket still wrapped around you into your shared bedroom. He tucks you in properly, making sure the room isn’t too cold for you and even filled a jug of water and placed it beside you on the nightstand along with your cup. Mark digs through the box of medicine you two have in the kitchen cabinet and rushes to offer you ibuprofen for your fever. “I’ll go shower, be right back okay?” Mark tells you as he leans in to give you a kiss, but you’re quick to put your hand over his mouth, gently pushing his face away from yours. “Don’t, I’m sick. You can’t afford to be sick,” you say as Mark pulls your hand away from his face, holding it in his instead. “Don’t care,” he mutters out before swiftly stealing a peck, earning a frown from you. He only chuckles as he pulls the blanket up to make sure you’re properly tucked in. “Don’t worry about me babe, I’m a lot stronger than you think,” Mark tells you almost smugly, hitting his chest twice before flexing an arm to prove his point. “Shut up smelly, go shower already…” you jokingly nagged as you laughed weakly. And even though Mark was really busy himself, he stayed by your side as much as he could. Studying beside you while you rested, running out to get takeout for the both of you. He makes sure you’re drinking enough water and taking your medicine regularly. At night, Mark doesn’t let himself sleep before you do until your fever is finally gone and you’re almost recovered. And he was right, despite sticking right by you while you were sick, juggling his part-time internship and classes, Mark was still holding up well. In this time, you couldn’t help but be grateful for your lovely boyfriend who took care of you dutifully despite his own busy schedules and you wondered if you could love anyone more than you love Mark Lee.

𔘓Renjun:

You stir awake as you feel someone slightly shaking you. You slowly open your eyes to meet your boyfriend’s kind ones, they’re laced with both worry and adoration. “I made you some tea, it’s supposed to be good for your throat. Drink it while it’s hot.” Renjun tells you as he helps you sit up, holding the cup against your lips as you take small sips of the warm tea. “Thanks love,” you whisper out as much as you can since your voice is still strained, your sore throat preventing you from speaking at your normal volume. Renjun offers you a small smile, brushing your hair out of your face, “Did you sleep well my love? Feeling better?” “Mm, just a little better.” Renjun frowns slightly at that, he puts the tea on the bedside table and pulls you up slowly so you could go wash up for breakfast. While you’re beginning to brush your teeth, Renjun stands behind you, gathering your hair together before tying it up into a ponytail so you can clean up without your hair getting in the way. He places a soft kiss on your shoulder before leaving to heat up your breakfast. He doesn’t close the toilet door on the way out, afraid you’ll have another fainting spell since you are still recovering. You think your immune system hates you because once you’re even just a little unwell, you would get fainting spells but Renjun has gotten used to it and is always so alert. It makes you feel bad because he’d get so worried but you also feel so safe and thankful because you know Renjun would be there to catch you if you fall, quite literally. “Here, I made some soup, it should be easier for you to swallow,” Renjun tells you once you come out from the toilet. You haven’t been eating well since your throat hurts so much so Renjun has been sweet enough to cook or buy soft foods to make sure you still get enough nutrients. He joins you at the dining table, though he’s just eating bread with jam. Renjun looks at you as you take your first sip, chewing his bread while looking at you with expectant eyes. You sigh as flavours explode in your mouth, warmth spreads down to your chest as you swallow. “It’s so good,” you tell him and a proud, tight-lipped smile appears on Renjun’s pretty face, “Thank god, eat up then.”

𔘓Jeno:

You were never someone who had a big appetite, so when you fall sick you practically have no desire to eat anything. It’s really bad, you know but you can’t stomach too much food in fear that you might throw up. All you want to do when you’re sick is sleep all day. But Jeno can’t bear seeing you being sick and not eating or drinking enough, so he takes it upon himself to try and get you to eat even just a little. So now the two of you are on the couch, you’re wearing a hoodie (jeno’s hoodie) and pouting while curled up beside him, hugging your knees to your chest. Jeno’s holding a bowl of porridge in his hand and a spoon in the other, gently blowing the porridge that’s on it. “Aaa,” Jeno says as he moves the spoon to your lips. You look at him, eyes round and almost glistening with tears, “Jeno… I can’t, not hungry.” Jeno sighs, looking at the bowl and then back at you before he says, “You didn’t even eat much baby, you need to eat…” You feel miserable, your head is pounding and even with the hoodie on, you’re still cold. Everything is tasteless and you really don’t feel like eating. But you also know that Jeno’s right and you just feel bad because he’s trying to take such good care of you. “Just two more mouths? Just two and we’re done,” Jeno says as he smiles at you, wiggling the spoon in front of you. Okay, you thought to yourself, you could do two more. Jeno just wants you to be well, he knows it’s not like you asked to be sick so he’s willing to do whatever to get you well again. Whatever you need, he’s ready to do it just for you if it means you’ll feel better physically and emotionally. You slowly open your mouth and Jeno pushes the spoon gently into your mouth. He scoops up some more porridge, remembering to make sure there’s some minced meat on the spoon too before he blows on it. And after you finish the last bite, Jeno gets up to do the dishes, not before he pats your head, cooing out a “Good job~” at you for the last two bites you managed to eat. Jeno returns after doing the dishes to see you nodding off on the couch. So he joins you, pulling you to lie on top of him as he runs his fingers through your hair, soothing you into a deep sleep.

𔘓Haechan:

“Oh shit!” was the only thing Haechan managed to say when he saw the way you were hunched over the toilet bowl, throwing up. He rushed to hold your hair back, firmly rubbing your back as you were calming down after throwing up your lunch. You’ve been nauseous all morning and after eating lunch, your stomach started churning. You wondered if it was the sashimi you had last night that was making you feel funny. Haechan passes you some tissue to wipe your mouth with after you rinsed it, bending down to look at you, gently brushing your hair out of your face. “Are you okay? Still feeling nauseous?” he asked timidly and you nod. You wanted to ask him if he was feeling fine since you both had the sashimi together, or maybe you just had a weaker stomach. But before you open your mouth to ask, Haechan blurts out, “You’re not pregnant, are you?” The two of you look each other dead in the eye for two seconds before you burst out laughing. “W-what? Baby, I’m serious,” Haechan says as he tugs your arm to get you to stop laughing, “My period just ended like two days ago, so we haven’t done anything recently. Plus, we always use protection anyway.” “It’s not 100% though…” “Don’t worry babe, you’re not going to be a dad that soon.” Haechan scoffs at that but you can tell he’s not convinced. “I’ll take a test to be sure if you want,” you suggested but Haechan shakes his head. “It’s fine, but if you puke again I’m taking you to the doctor,” he tells you as he holds your face, looking at you worriedly. You were fine for a while but you do puke again, your throat burns and your stomach hurts. So Haechan rushes to take you to the nearest clinic. You were right about the sashimi, it was food poisoning but Haechan was fine so you guess your digestive system doesn’t really accept raw food too well. “I told you I wasn’t pregnant babe”, “Damn, why am I kind of disappointed though?” “Shut up, you wouldn’t know what to do if I was”, “Of course I would, we’d get married and have a family together. I mean, sure, it’s a little early but I’d be so ready babe.” All week, Haechan made sure you remember to stay hydrated since you did continue to throw up a few more times. He would cook food that was more kind to your stomach and set alarms so you two would remember it’s time to eat your medicine. Thanks to Haechan, you were still able to laugh even in your miserable state and got well really quickly. And you wouldn’t tell him, but you think you fell more in love with him knowing that he had already thought of a future that had you in it.

𔘓Jaemin:

You’re finally done with your shift at the cafe and you’re ready to close up for the day. You’re tired and you’ve been having the worst headache since your classes ended. You soldiered through your evening shift despite that but now you’re feeling even worse. You’ve been pushing yourself to work almost every day after classes for some income, so you can pay rent on time without depending on your parents. But as finals draw near, your stress is through the roof. You haven’t been eating or sleeping well and you think it’s finally taking a toll on your body. You’re taking your apron off when you hear the bell from the cafe door ring, “So sorry, we’re close-” “I know, I’m here to pick my lovely girlfriend up from work~” Jaemin stands in front of you, adorning the prettiest smile on his face. And you instantly relax, smiling back at him. “Hi honey, ready to go?” “Yeah, just give me a minute”. You tell him as you rush to the back to get your bag and turn off most of the lights. You rush back out to meet Jaemin when your vision starts to blur, you stop in your tracks as your hand reaches out to hold anything to keep you steady. You try to stay standing as your surroundings start to swirl, your vision blurry and dark. Jaemin is quick to react, rushing to you. “Baby? Y/N, what’s wrong?” Jaemin calls out, he holds you by your waist with one arm as the other comes up to hold your face. He looks into your eyes, his own laced with concern and he can tell you’re kind of blacking out. You blink hard a few times, holding onto his arm as your vision slowly clears. “Are you okay? Have you eaten anything?” Jaemin asks worriedly. You shake your head slightly, trying not to trigger another near fainting spell. “Been having the worst headache and I haven’t had the time to eat after class today…” “Y/N, how many times have I told you? You have to eat no matter what.” You can’t even look at Jaemin because you feel bad that he has to nag at you constantly for something as simple as having your meals on time. Jaemin sighs and brings his hand up to hold your face, tilting your head upwards so you’re looking at him. “You had a long day, let’s go home hm? I’ll cook you something yummy,” Jaemin says in a whisper just loud enough for you to hear. And you nod, closing your eyes as you lean into his touch. He lets go of your face and engulfs you in a hug, you let yourself melt against him. When you’re with Jaemin like this, for these few seconds every one of your burdens fade into nothing and even your head stops throbbing for a while. When you pull away Jaemin is smiling down at you like you’re the single, most precious person in this world. He carries your bag and slides his hand into yours, interlocking your fingers together. You get home and Jaemin feeds you a bowl of delicious beef noodles, nagging once again about how you need to stop skipping your meals. And he goes on, endearingly. “You have to sleep earlier too, go to bed when I do for a week straight. That should fix your sleep… AND if you have a busy school day, don’t put your availability down for work. Just rest at home for a bit this week. You’re always making me worried about you baby, what do I do with you?” “Alright alright, I got it…” “I love you y/n, I just want you to be well and healthy and happy. We have to grow old together, you know?” Jaemin says as he looks at you, eyes sparkly with a slight pout on his face. You pinch his cheek, “I got it babe, I love you too”.

𔘓Chenle:

You’ve been lying in bed all afternoon, you feel cold and you’ve been sneezing and coughing non-stop. You were afraid that you caught covid again but your self-testing kit says otherwise. You put on some soothing music and tried to take another nap. That’s when you hear your front door open, Chenle is back from his basketball class. “Hey babe,” he greets when he enters your shared room but when he sees you all curled up on the bed, he does a double take. “Hi Chenle,” “What’s up with you? You feeling okay?” “No… I feel like shit.” Chenle chuckles at that as he walks up to you, ruffling your hair. “Do you want to go to the doctor? I’ll take you.” You shake your head as you look up at him, “Can you go wash up, then come cuddle with me?” Chenle frowns and says without hesitation, “But you’re sick, what if I catch what you have?” With that, you frown too. “You’re the worst…” Chenle laughs at your expression, “I’m just kidding.” Even at a time like this, there is no escape from your boyfriend’s teasing. He goes to shower and comes back out within 10 minutes, adorning another basketball jersey with his towel around his shoulders. “Have you eaten anything all day?” “No, I’ve just been laying here.” “You’re not hungry?” “I am…” “Why didn’t you text me to get something back?” “I was resting!” You raise your voice a little which causes you to cough. “Okay, chill. I’ll go make you something, after you eat then we can cuddle.” You look at him with your puppy eyes, purposefully exaggerating, “You’re the best~” “Shut up, don’t look at me like that! That was not what you said just now anyway.” And even though Chenle just made you some porridge and bok choy, you were really grateful. It was simple, homey food but you love whatever Chenle cooks so even though you’re still feeling under the weather and it’s a little hard to eat, you finish all your porridge. After Chenle does the dishes, he joins you back in bed and cuddles you as promised. You still feel sick but for some reason, with Chenle around you feel a little better. In the few days that you took to recover, Chenle calls his mum to ask for a herbal soup recipe and makes it for you until you feel better again. On the fourth day, you’re fully recovered but when you woke up, Chenle was shivering beside you even though he had practically snatched the whole blanket and wrapped it around himself. ���You okay babe?” “Feel funny, it’s so cold.” Chenle got sick, turns out he did catch the flu from you. You feel so bad, “I’m so sorry… you actually got sick taking care of me…” “Don’t be silly babe, I'll be fine.” So you do your best to take care of him too and nurse him back to health like he did for you.

𔘓Jisung:

“Are you feeling better baby?” Jisung asks you when you wake up from your nap and you shake your head. He sighs and pats your head. After you texted him saying you’re having a fever last night, he came over early this morning to come take care of you. Jisung even got you breakfast, but you didn’t eat much, which Jisung understands. You went back to sleep shortly after and Jisung went out to the pharmacy to get you some ibuprofen and vitamin C drinks for your immune system. Jisung doesn’t let you move an inch until you feel better even though you are fully capable of doing minor tasks yourself. He’s always going, “No, don’t worry about that. I’ll do it.” “Just stay in bed baby, I’ll help you.” And he’s making sure you eat well and drink enough water. He stays by your side all day and night, keeping you company and making sure you have everything you need. Even after you finally get up to shower, Jisung blows your hair for you. “Tell me if it’s too hot,” Jisung says before he blows dry your hair. After that, he combs your hair for you and it makes you feel so sleepy. “Tired?” “Yes… I’m sorry Ji, I’ve just been sleeping all day…” You apologise, feeling bad that he’s over at your place and you can’t spend any proper quality time with him since you’re feeling unwell. And that he’s been running around doing everything for you. Jisung shakes his head, frowning just a little. “Why are you sorry? You’re not feeling well, it’s not your fault. You need rest so you can recover quickly,” Jisung tells you as he smooths your hair down, patting the top of your head before he begins to tuck you into bed. “Will you stay the night?” You ask him timidly, he hums in reply. “I’ll stay with you until you feel better, baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up tomorrow, don’t worry.”

[tainted-harmon]

I haven’t really talked about why I have been absent a lot the past 12 months. Some of you who have followed me for a long time are probably aware of my health conditions.

I have a congenital brain condition called Chiari malformation (my cerebellum is 29mm herniated out of the base of my skull and presses on my brainstem) and I have a connective tissue disorder. Over the past 14 months my brain condition has deteriorated and I have been suffering vomiting several times a week, at times it’s been projectile and even left me on morphine last year for the pain, and I take anti sickness tablets daily.

Over the past 9-10 months I have lost around 40% of my hair which I believe is down to stress and so do my doctors, although I have also recently been diagnosed with PCOS which can cause hair loss.

On the weekend I was severely unwell again and had to be taken by ambulance to hospital and put on a morphine drip. I’m doing better but seeing my doctor today because my neurosurgeons have been MIA since Covid and it’s disgusting how I’ve been left. Here is an MRI scan of my brain (mine is the left) and I added a normal brain MRI from Google to show the difference…

I love this community and I haven’t left, I just have had so much going on and have been so unwell. I will try and be more active because I miss posting here and seeing everyone else’s posts 💜

[rowanthestrange]

(Personal ‘Being A Certain Kind Of Autistic’ Moment:)

(You ever think you’re too hinged? I was gonna say for the internet but since covid so many of the neurotypicals in real life are actually worse.

Like someone has an inappropriately strong emotional reaction to the benign, and you’re like ‘okay they’re triggered, walk away with no eye contact’. Then you see other people doing it. And more and more. Not about the same things, different things, random things. And you’re just… Is it me? Am I too hinged?

I’m not saying I’m never triggered but I always tell myself ‘hey before you interact with anyone, stop being such a freak’ if I feel like I’m in danger of being rude to or about a Human Person. And I know that’s autism training, learning to catch yourself; but also clearly not everyone bothers, even the neurotypicals anymore hence irl situations where you’re just watching some 55 year old woman go off on a receptionist over literally nothing.

Like you’ll watch people stew themselves to a rolling boil over things they’ve…made up in their head? When they could just…not do that? Or could assume the best? Like they pre-order rage for things that haven’t even happened yet. Not like political things where you could argue that it could incentivise action but like raging about how film/book in a series/event is going to be so terrible, beyond simple mental prepping for disappointment.

It’s like I feel too mentally healthy compared to everyone else. But even plenty of irl people I know who absolutely wouldn’t consider themselves (or be considered by me as) mentally unwell in any regard are like this.

I know me having the flavour of autism where ‘everything has to have a reason, but when you understand what it is you don’t feel the need to be upset about it anymore’ kind of makes this worse. Because that’s not how real people feel things. But I dunno. Feels like it’s getting…more, doesn’t it? I mean it is, must be, had a Doctor Who episode kind of about it a week ago. But it’s got me feeling autistic alien again. Even on the autism site.)

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

i’m quarantined at the moment due to covid so i’ve been trying to keep myself busy tucked away in my room, and i’ve been making bracelets! i made myself an anklet and i can just imagine making eddie a matching one (but a bracelet tho)! i thought what it’d be like if we were gettin dirty and i had my ankles thrown over his shoulders and he grabs at them and notices our matching pieces and points it out 🥲 i am so unwell 🥲🥲🥲

OMG HE WOULD LIVE FOR THIS THO. reader is 18 in this!

this man loves getting gifts, and he especially loves the homemade ones. i can see him as just being so excited when you give him that bracelet, because wow, no one has ever done anything like that for him before. he loves it and cherishes it, wears it every day, and proudly tells anyone who might ask about it that his girlfriend made it for him. maybe you don’t wear your anklet that often, so he doesn’t even know that it exists—until the day the two of you are having sex in your parents’ bedroom.

they didn’t really like eddie, and since they were out of town on a business trip, eddie got an idea to fuck you in their bed. you thought the idea was hot, and after school that evening, he immediately pulled you into the room when you got to your house. the typical stuff unfolded, leading up to messy sheets, soaked bedding, and your legs thrown on eddie’s shoulders as he drilled into your cunt. he licks up your calves once in awhile, but his attention is mostly focused on you and how hot he thinks you look right then.

that’s why it takes him so long to notice the anklet. but when he does, he slows down his thrusts with a smirk so that he can look at it. you’re whining, practically begging him to keep going and asking why he stopped. he just takes the ankle in his hand, kissing around the anklet while looking at you, his hair a wild mess in his eyes as he does so. he holds his own bracelet up to it for comparison, and just laughs as he shakes his head fondly.

“since when did you have something to match my bracelet?” he teases.

“since i made the bracelet so that we could have matching pieces,” you say, clawing at him as you attempt to fuck yourself on his cock. “eddie—“

“do your parents know about this?” eddie asks, a mocking tone in his voice as a smirk spreads over his lips.

“that i made you a matching bracelet?”

“yes.”

“no, they don’t.”

eddie made a tsk sound, kissing down your calf before pulling out and jumping onto the bed. he hovers over you as you whine, smiling as he runs the tip of his tongue over your nose. “i wonder what they would say, if they knew?”

“they probably wouldn’t care, since it’s just jewelry,” you say, hooking your legs over his waist in an attempt to push him inside again. “can you please just finish fucking me? enough of the teasing already.”

“i think they would be absolutely appalled,” eddie says, ignoring your pleas and rubbing his cock through your folds as you whimper. “their precious baby girl, giving her boyfriend a matching bracelet so they could compare them as he fucked her brains out in their bed.”

“that isn’t why—“ you begin, but are cut off with a loud, filthy moan as he slams inside of you again.

“shhh…” he coos, kissing along your jaw as you cling to him to bring his body impossibly closer. “just think about how much that would piss them off, baby. that’s all i need you to do for me right now. do you understand what i’m saying?”

oh fuck, did you ever.

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 22/July/2022

Chapter 15 is finished, and I'm powering through Chapter 16!I

t's been quite the motivating week, hehe! :D 

Chapter 15 actually took longer than I expected, as I added in some extra scenes. Where as Chapter 14 was the date chapter with the LIs, I wanted 15 to be more of a sort of 'catch-up' chapter with the other characters. I was going to leave out a couple of characters who may pop up later depending on player choices, but decided to have them in there.

So I wrote extra scenes for them, and I'm SO glad I did, as it fit in really perfectly. Kind of sets things up too for later events...

But I did go back and forth on if I wanted it. When I thought I didn't, I deleted the scene I was working on, then one night I was led in bed realising I really did want it, so the next day I had to rewrite about 2000 words worth of stuff I'd already done, lol. Normally I do save scenes I cut, just in case they can be used later, but from some reason I didn't this time. But you live and learn, right?

After 15 was done, I was going to start some editing that I really need to catch up on...but I dove right into Chapter 16 instead! :D I'm glad I did because I'll be able to finish the first section of it today! 

Next week, I will have to take a couple of days for editing. Not my favourite thing to do, but definitely a very important task that can't get left behind. But it does mean I get to play through the game again, which always gets me super excited, so I'm looking forward to that already!

Still, I'm hoping even with those days out of writing that I can really push through Chapter 16. It has split scenes, but they're nice and flowing ones. 15 and 16 are the set up scenes for the endings, so there's no branching or anything, which obviously means things progress much quicker with writing them!

Unfortunately, Nai and her family came down with covid this week. They're all okay, just feeling super unwell and having to stay at home. I've made sure to tell her not to do anything but focus on recovering, so there won't be much social media until she's fully well and feeling up to it.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! We'll be offline as usual, so I'll update you all again next Friday! <3

[loserchildhotpants]

i have the distinct feeling i’m going to die relatively soon.

it’s not Thee Anxiety™️ — i know what that feels like.

i was in the passenger seat today, we were driving toward dark grey clouds, and i got that feeling all along the inside of my body, the same feeling i’ve been getting for weeks, that something is on its way to me.

that maybe it’s a cancer lying low, there won’t be any signs until my next blood test with my primary, or it will be a complication from COVID, or COVID itself. or maybe an accident.

this is not the certainty of death accompanied by the urge to go to the ER, spikes of cortisol and adrenaline telling me i’m having a cardiac event that will kill me imminently. this is different. im not feeling fear or anxiety, just this vague awareness.

while in the passengers side today, i wanted to share the feeling, just voice it, but i realized i couldn’t without sounding alarmingly unwell.

the feeling is not ‘i am actively dying right now’ it’s more ‘the events that will lead to my death have already been set into motion.’

it’s like i can smell it in the air, or hear it from a ways off. not like a stampede coming for me, but rather a storm front not yet visible headed my way— but i can feel in the air that it will surely rain soon.

i hope i’m wrong. i hope this is just a new, cool, sexy thing my anxiety disorders are up to these days, but i dunno.

my craft is usually with Hecate and the Morrigan, and in recent weeks, i found an abandoned key (small, rusted, i kept it as i kept all the random keys i found throughout my childhood), i keep catching corvids in 3’s which is especially odd in my neighborhood because there are so many stray cats (strange to see a surge of bird activity).

i think im meant to address my oracle cards, but im sort of scared?

something is knocking, i suppose. it feels like an end of sorts, possibly my own physical death, but it’s hard to tell anyone i love ‘hey, im p sure im gonna die soon — there have been several black birds, i found a seemingly ancient key in a place it had no business being, and i have this extremely vague sense of something impending.’

again, im not worried abt it really, im not feeling anxious, im just feeling Something. and its different than a gut feeling, its like a feeling in the parts of me that are outside of me. its a feeling in my astral self, almost.

idk.

it helped to write this out, i guess

[anotherpage-inthe-book]

March 30th - April 25th

April 5th 2023

Apologies in advance cause this post is going to be lonnnnnnnng but I have chosen to share something very personal and real. So here it goes;

I always knew I wanted children. I have known ever since I was old enough to comprehend what having children & a family would actually mean. I was always set on having a baby the good old fashioned way. Toughing it out and delivering vaginally. Of course, I always understood that things could happen and that circumstances could change. Although, that couldn’t happen to me... right? Wrong.

When I first found out I was pregnant with our daughter, I was in disbelief. I think I bought about seven or eight pregnancy tests because I was in such disbelief at the first one. The initial feeling of ‘oh my god’, quickly turned into, ‘OH MY GOD I’M HAVING A BABY!’. I went into our room and told my partner (let’s call him J) I needed to talk to him about something. After he had finished up on his computer, I held out 3 positive pregnancy tests. J said, “Why are you showing me your positive COVID test”. He quickly realised it wasn’t a COVID test and he was over the moon.

Fast forward to being 33 weeks pregnant; I had done all of my scans. Which showed normal growth, normal sizing, and most importantly, a healthy baby. I had done not one, but two glucose tolerance tests. I found them not to be as bad as what everyone says they are. It just tastes like really strong lemon cordial. I had all my blood work come back normal, with just a minor iron deficiency. This is very common in pregnancies because bubba gets majority of it. I had just finished at my last growth scan and was headed home. I was feeling good, I had just seen my baby girl and was told/shown that she was measuring well and was healthy. As to be expected, I had gained some weight from being pregnant. Although, I was just happy that our baby was getting the nutrition she needed.

It was about 9:30, just after my Mother was due to start work, when I started to get a headache. So I had some water and went to bed. I woke up around midnight with a pounding headache, seeing stars in my vision and just feeling unwell and not myself. I messaged Mum and told her what was going on. She told me to get J to help take my blood pressure, have some Panadol & water and lie down with calming rain sounds to help. J helped me do my BP, which I thought was relatively okay (given I was a tad agitated and in pain from my headache). So I did what Mum told me to do and went to sleep. Woke up the next day and was feeling my normal self, so I went about my day as normal.

That evening, I started to feel the same way that I felt the previous night. This time, I kept it to myself. I thought it would go away just like it did the night before. Around 5/6pm, I went outside and sat in the pool because this strange feeling just wouldn’t go away. I spent a good 30-45 minutes out there. I went inside for dinner and to chill out whilst I tried to figure out what was causing me to feel so off.

Mum and I sat in the lounge room, watching TV, when she asked me if I wanted her to do my blood pressure. She asked because I was looking agitated and uncomfortable. She did it, and when I looked at her to ask how it was, she had this smile on her face. It was the type of smile one gives another person when they are trying to dull down how serious a situation. I asked Mum if it was good or bad. She just said, “I think you need to call the hospital and see what they say.” My blood pressure was 180/100mmHg. Which is very, very high.

I rang the maternity ward at the hospital. Sure enough, they said I needed to come in as soon as possible. We quickly packed a small bag with all the essentials for a SHORT hospital stay. I thought that we would only be in overnight and maybe the next day. When J and I got to the hospital, the first thing they did was reassess my blood pressure, take a urine sample, and some blood tests. All came back elevated. My blood pressure remained alarmingly high. My urine test came back with elevated protein and my bloods were marginally worrisome. I just kept asking if the baby was okay. I kept asking if this was causing her distress and what we could do to stop it. I was given medication, after medication, to try and bring my blood pressure down. However, nothing was seeming to work definitively. After multiple doses of anti-hypertensives, my blood pressure started to plateau around the 140-150’s. This was still not ideal, but better than what it was. I was feeling like rubbish at this point because of the anti hypertensives, pain medication, antacids, and anti nausea medications I had been given.

Our doctor came in at around 1am. She was was able to give us some news that, quite literally, made me sick to my stomach. It was from nerves, stress, and an entire range of other emotions. I was diagnosed with sudden onset severe pre-eclampsia. She told me that, if left untreated, could be fatal to Bub and I.

Preeclampsia is a complication of pregnancy which is detected by women having high blood pressure, high levels of protein in their urine (that indicates kidney damage) and/or other signs of organ damage such as epigastric pain (indicating the liver damage). The doctor then told me that I would be staying for almost 2 weeks. However, it ended up being a few days longer. It was all starting to make sense and fall apart, simultaneously. My general feeling of being unwell, the headaches, the rapid weight gain and fluid retention (I probably tripled in size within a week due to fluid retention which was a big yikes), the blurred vision and visual disturbances; the lot. And I was sick, I mean physically I threw up after we were told. I think it was from anxiety but it was probably because of all the medications I had been given. Our doctor reassured us and tried to calm our nerves, but I know I was out of my mind worried about bubba. As was J. Funnily enough, our daughter was healthy and unaffected by what was going on & it was my body that wasn’t coping however that very well could’ve changed at any given time.

That first night I would like to say was the worst it got. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. I was admitted to the maternity ward the next day where we received nothing but the best from the midwives. They were kind, caring, and were always checking in on us to see how we were coping. I think it was because they could see the mental and physical toll it was taking on not only me, but J and my Mum as well. During my stay on the ward, I had multiple different tests and scans to monitor by blood pressure, kidney, liver functions, and my overall health. I won’t lie, I really was unaware as to how unwell I was and how serious the situation was.

Due to the severity of my preeclampsia, we were told that our daughter would probably have to be born early around 37 weeks. At 37 weeks, a baby is considered to be full term. They have fully mature lungs, as the baby is getting ready to be born. I had asked the doctor, and the midwife, if it was still possible to follow our birthing plan of having a water birth. Unfortunately, as we were now a ‘high risk’ pregnancy, a water birth was out of the question. Then came the question of, "will I be able to have a vaginal birth with our baby?". This was an aspect of pregnancy that I was actually very eager to be able to experience. Originally, I wanted a water birth with as minimal medical intervention as possible. I felt like, as painful as Labor may be, it would be equally as beautiful to be able to bring our daughter into the world this way. My treating doctor told me that, although labor was not impossible, it was highly unlikely that I would be able to safely go through labor. She explained that I would likely need to have a caesarean. I was obviously 100% on board with whatever our little baby needed to be happy and healthy, but it still felt like I was stripped of having the birthing experience that I wanted.

It was a few days after I was admitted that we were informed that we wouldn’t be able to make it to 37 weeks. The doctors were worried my body and organs would give up due to the stress they were under. I said to the doctors I would at least get to 34 weeks (which was 4 days away). They were hesitant to wait that long. I thought I would be able to, because it was only just a bit of high blood pressure right? Clearly I was in a bit of denial about everything. Over the next few days, I had multiple blood tests, CTGS and vital signs attended. All showing that my body was struggling. My liver functions were declining. My kidneys were struggling. I was struggling to move due to the fluid retention. I was having issues breathing and doing everyday activities that I usually would’ve been able to do independently. My blood pressure, although much more controlled due to being on two different anti hypertensives 4-5 times a day, was still elevated. The CTG’s weren’t bad, but they weren’t good. So I was sent for an ultrasound to check on the baby’s measurements & they showed that the baby was measuring smaller than expected. Meaning she wasn’t getting everything she needed to grow healthily. That’s where I actually became concerned.

It all came to a head the morning of the 05/04/23, after a shitty sleep and another 2-3 hour CTG tracing. Mum had stayed overnight with me (she and J often took turns doing this). I turned to her and said, “I can’t do this anymore”. She could already see how exhausted I was (physically and mentally). I made a decision to let the treating team know that I needed something to be done that day. We weren’t seen by the initial obstetrician. Another obstetrician (let’s call him Doctor A) who works along side the obstetric team came to review me. Straight away, he asked how long the CTG trace had been trending that way. He asked how long it had been on for, if anyone was monitoring it, and what was the point if nothing was being done about it. The doctor asked me a few more questions about how I was feeling. They asked if I was I struggling, coping, etc... I told him that I was trying to make it to the 34 week mark, but I was unsure how much longer my physical and mental health could last. He left to discuss things with ‘the team’ and to see if a decision would be made that day. Around lunchtime, Mum and I had just taken a bite of our sandwiches when Doctor A came back. He asked how I felt about having a baby that afternoon. It was a definitive ‘let’s have a baby’. Mum and I (more so Mum who is a midwife and wasn’t letting on just how unwell and dangerous my situation was) felt relieved. Someone had decided on a plan, instead of just sitting and waiting.

That afternoon, after a quick phone call to J telling him to get his ass to the hospital ASAP, I was prepped. We went downstairs where we were about to meet our little girl. After about 45 minutes of trying to be cannulated, I was wheeled into the theatre room. They told me what the process would be, how long things would take, etc... It was time for me to have a spinal anaesthetic (that thing with the big needle. The one that numbs you so you don’t feel anything. Yeah... That thing...). I will admit that it was not as bad as I expected. It took two tries, but the most unpleasant part of it was losing feeling and control of my legs so fast. I still had to try and move around to get into position, but that’s just me whining. It all happened pretty quick after the spinal anaethetic. Or that’s how it felt to me at least. The anaesthetist asked us what we would like to listen to, music wise, whilst the procedure was happening. Obviously, it was a no brainer. The 1975 was the only option. Before we knew it, the doctor was telling us to "look up... look here....", and there she was. Our little girl. She was looking like a “mandrake” from Harry Potter, but she was healthy, breathing on her own, and squawking.

I think I was in some kind of trance or something, because it was all feeling so surreal. I mean... This little bundle of love wasn’t due for another month and a half. Yet here she was wrapped up in a blanket and in her Dad's arms. It's safe to say that I was in a bit of shock, but the best kind. It was a pretty quick ending of the caesarean. I was stitched back up and sent round to recovery, whilst Dad and Bub went to the special care nursery. This is where we would spend the next few weeks. I think I was delirious after everything happening so quickly, but I was stable. When I was taken back to the ward, the first thing I asked was "When can I see bub?" and "How is she doing?". Being wheeled back into an empty maternity ward room without my husband, my mother , or baby was very confronting. I felt alone, but not upset, because I knew they were with my baby girl. I felt really good. I think it was the best I had felt since I had been in the hospital.

However, after I returned to the ward, my midwife attended my vital signs. My blood pressure and other symptoms resulted in her calling a medical emergency. I was given more medication and they increased my observations overnight. Unfortunately, I had another medical emergency. They sent me back to the birth suit for 1:1 care. I had a 24 hour magnesium sulfate infusion running (to help bring down my blood pressure). I had a catheter re-inserted (was not a happy little Vegemite) and I spent the next 24hours having half hourly vital signs, hourly catheter output/input measures, and barely any sleep. This entire time, I hadn't even been able to hold my baby yet. I had minutes with her briefly, after she was born, before she was wrapped up and sent up to the special care nursery. It was a lot to internalise. I felt guilty because I hadn’t been able to cuddle our little girl since she had entered the world. During the night spent in birth suite, the midwife that took care of me was nothing but an angel. She could obviously see the toll that not being able to see (or hold) our baby was having on me. She could see how uncomfortable I was with being pricked, prodded, and my catheter blocking. I think it was just after 11pm when, after checking my blood pressure, our midwife said we could go and see our daughter. She would have to accompany us as I had IV’s running and I would have to go in a wheelchair, given my recent surgical wound and how unwell I was.

Seeing our little girl in the incubator, with an IV line in (along with all the other lines), was the hardest thing I think either of us have had to see. Seeing a little baby with lines and tubes in is hard; but when it is your child, I think it just stings that little bit more. Our daughter weighed 1780 grams when she was born. Our daughter had a nasogastric tube inserted, as she was too little to breastfeed or bottle feed. This was another blow, as I felt like I was letting my baby down by not being able to breastfeed. She was given IV glucose drips until she decided to yank her IV out. Just like her mother, she gave the doctor’s a challenge to reinsert the IV. Ultimately, they gave up because she was doing so well on just her 3r hourly feeds via the feeding tube. Her feeds were majority expressed breast milk, but in the beginning days (when my milk supply was just coming in) she had formula as a substitute. It was a relief that once my milk did start flowing. I was able to express and bottle it for her without any issues. I think we had about 6-7 litres of frozen breast milk in our freezer at one point. It was one less thing to worry about, given everything we had going on. Our daughter spent almost 4 weeks in the special care nursery. She recieved the absolute best care possible. I cannot thank the nurses and midwives enough for the care they gave my daughter & I. After those four weeks, we brought our little girl home. She looked a little bit funny sitting in such a big car seat.

4 weeks of visiting the hospital at all hours of the day. The hours spent holding our baby girl, giving her the tube feeds, changing her nappies, leaving the hospital in tears, feeling like the world was against me and sleepless nights at home wishing our baby was at home with us; it was a very tough time. I remember speaking to J in the hospital cafeteria “I feel like the world is against me, like I’m the butt of a bad joke and it’s not fair”. The guilt I felt over leaving our girl... I would leave the hospital either in tears, or angry at the world for our situation. I felt a lot of emotions at once. I was feeling guilty for not being able to hold my new baby and have a normal first interaction with our daughter. I missed out on the first few hours of skin to skin contact... Just because I was sick? I was angry at myself for being unwell and I felt like I had let our daughter down, beause I wasn’t there. I still get angry at times over this and it’s still something I have to deal with on the daily.

I take my hat off to all midwives, special care nurses, and neonatal nurses. I could not do what they do. Our daughter received the absolute best care from the most beautiful people in the special care nursery. We were reassured and checked in on every time we were there. They had offered support, given education, and assisted with her care when it was our turn to take the ropes. Those amazing people will always hold a special place in our hearts. I will never forget the kindness and care given to our family, especially when I wasn’t well enough to be able to.

I spent two weeks in hospital being pricked with needles, having constant CTG’s to monitor the baby, multiple blood tests, scans, and had numerous sleepless nights. I even had two emergency calls due to my BP being elevated. I had sudden weight gain and large amounts of swelling all over my body. The swelling was not just in my legs, but my arms and fingers as well. My hands still tingle from time to time due to the swelling and carpal tunnel I experienced. I was retaining large amounts of fluid, which was shown by my size and by how difficult it was for me to physically move. I have never felt so humiliated and disgusting. I relied on others to be able to help me move, wash, and do everything I am usually able to do.

I have never thought so lowly of myself. I refused to look in the mirror in the bathroom because I thought I looked disgusting and gross. I still felt this way after being told it wasn’t actual weight, it was the oedema that caused me to get so big. I have to continue to remind myself that the strectch marks and baggy skin is a normal part of pregnancy. I have bruises and scars from constantly being stuck with needles, multiple cannulas, and having blood tests. My liver functions and renal functions are only now starting to improve. However, I’ve had multiple follow ups with doctors from different departments and my GP to monitor these. I physically feel weaker. I can feel when my muscles are close to giving up, but that is slowly starting to change since I started exercising again. I struggle with anxiety from leaving the house, wondering if our daughter is unwell, and taking her out in public. Although, I am starting to slowly get better at managing these anxieties. I am still struggling to deal with how my body looked/looks now. Body image has always been a big issue for me. It will be an ongoing process, but one step at a time. Walking by myself, and walking with our daughter, has helped me cope with a lot of these negative thoughts. It has helped my mental and physical health immensely.

I’m slowly learning to accept that, while I might not have experienced giving birth how I would’ve liked, I am so very blessed and thankful to have a healthy and happy baby girl. She is thriving and becoming her own (very small) person. I have been left with some physical and mental scars from this entire ordeal, but I remind myself everyday about how lucky I am. I'm a Mum and our baby made it home safely. It has taken my almost 3 months for me to finally finish writing this. It brought back a lot of negative thoughts and upsetting memories, but getting my thoughts out on paper has helped me process this traumatic (yet wonderful) experience. It’s also made me so thankful that our little girl, who is just like her Mumma, is tough and resilient. Seeing her smile and laugh, makes everything I went through worth it.

[p-perkeys]

Emetophobia and gross tw but I have no friends and have to process my selfish trauma dramatically

.

.

.

.

.

I was walking back from break and I noticed a suspicious amount of cleaning on the floor in front of the checkout window at work

And I TOLD myself, I said, girl don’t be asking stuff you don’t want answers to, don’t do it

But I did it

I said, wow what happened here, when I knew in my soul what happened there

And my coworker confirms, oh yeah some kid just tu right there

The Lord blessed me by giving me the inclination to take a break during that time because WHEW CHILD the panic attack I would’ve had in front of all them people

I already was panicking

I was asking the nurse, were they swabbed for Covid and flu? Were they c/o n/v/d? Were they pale? Were they fevered? Is anyone else sick? Are they sick? Were tbey just nervous? Were they fine? Were they coughing? Maybe the couch made them tu? Do you think? Should they give them meds? Are you sure that’s clean? Do you need more disinfectant? I’m staying over here. Can you take this paper over there so I don’t have to?

Are you sure that’s clean?

Actually, do I look pale?

Why did no one give them a v bag?

Do you think they were just nervous?

I’m a dumb whore at work AND I’m a pos human.

Manifesting wellness for the unwell child.

[fuck-customers]

I’m not sure why but my company has been extra strict on my department regarding working from home compared to other departments. One time a coworker of mine, who is terrible at her job, was abusing it and working from home without ever notifying our manager, which made him look bad in front of the cfo (his boss) because it looked like he wasn’t good at managing his team. So as punishment the cfo told us everyone would have to return to the office even though he had said before that those who performed well and felt unwell could work from home. Then they told us that unless we had covid, we weren’t allowed to work from home. It must be 100% covid or else you had to return to the office. Then my manager hurt his knees so he wasn’t able to come into the office and brought a doctor’s note so that he could work from home. They said he couldn’t but he had deadlines that were coming up so they told him to return to work. He worked from home anyway and he got scolded by the cfo. Recently I found out that in other departments, you can just ask to work from home if you’re not feeling well or if you want to do overtime you get to work from home. This is just the tip of the iceberg, there’s so much inequality that goes on in this company that I feel like they’re just trying to get people to quit

[goatskickin]

People You'd Like To Know Better

Tagged by @antisocialbunnysims THANK

Last Song: One by Fuzz (it was alright, was suggested by Apple Music after my other songs in my ‘SLÆY-LIST’)

Currently Watching: Just finished it but Lessons in Chemistry. I liked it! There’s a lot of TV out rn that is just okay and not very good. I was pleasantly surprised.

Last Movie: Blazing Saddles, because I’m on a bit of a ‘movies from before 1990’ kick. That movie is so funny! Still! Also, maybe this is just me getting older, but Gene Wilder was kind of doing it for me in this ?! (Cleavon Little was already doing that)

Currently Reading: Ancillary Mercy (a reread). Started that series again when I was viciously unwell after getting my flu shot and Covid vaccine and needed a comfort read. Also, The Artisanal Vinegar Marker’s Handbook. Because I am always up to some domestic/homesteader/doomsday prepper/witchy nonsense.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: savory! Got some snack and cracker recipe books for Christmas. Some mixed-to-good results. Homemade crackers are both easier and fussier than you’d think to make.

Last Thing I Googled: "next bus mtv font" we know why 🫥

Current Obsession: crocheting! I’m not good at all. But one of my New Year’s resolutions was to have a hobby that involves no other people, and no screens. It’s great for zoning out. I’ve already been to the craft store 2 days in a row and had more yarn being shipped to me 😆

Currently Working On: Chapter 25 of Apocalypse C.O.W. (slowly but surely) and clothing recolors I don’t need to be doing, but am doing anyway

Tagging: @redsimmer-blog, @simmer-until-tender, @angelapleasant, @millicent-bystandr, @aondaneedles, @katsurinssims

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Caretaking

Decided to write my first Birdrick fic. It’s light enough that you can read it as platonic if you prefer, but I’ve written it with shippy intentions in mind. I’m really obsessed with their early relationship when they and Squanchy were living in their shithole apartment from the comics - I love the option for domesticity. Also fair warning because I know some people might want to avoid content like this, especially since covid, but this does feature Rick being ill (flu-like symptoms, nothing gastrointestinal - emetophobes don’t worry!) and there are suggestions of the illness being contagious. It’s nothing life-threatening, but I know that any sort of illness can be a trigger for some people, especially given the past couple of years.

I hope that nothing is too OOC - with Rick I’m justifying it since he’s too ill to fully have his guard up like normal, but with Birdperson I’m honestly just not sure how to write him 😅

Summary: Birdperson is worried about Rick overworking himself while ill and takes care of him. Can be read as romantic or platonic. ~1.3k words.

Birdperson startles awake to the sound of a hacking cough from another room, loud enough to disturb his sleep. The walls of their apartment are thin enough that being unexpectedly awoken in the middle of the night is a frustratingly common occurrence. However, unlike the annoyance he normally feels when being woken up by loud inebriated people in the hallway or on the streets outside, this sound sparks concern in his chest. Rick’s voice is something that Birdperson thinks would be incredibly distinctive even if he didn’t share living space with the man, and he can easily identify it in the pained sounds coming from the next room.

Worried, Birdperson gets out of bed and goes to check on his friend. Rick’s door is ajar, and through the crack Birdperson can see Rick tinkering with some sort of gadget whose purpose would be a complete mystery had he not spent much of the previous two days listening to Rick talk excitedly about it. A few hours ago, however, the parts Rick needed had finally arrived, and Birdperson has not seen him since. 

In that time, Rick has apparently taken a considerable turn for the worse, his eyes bloodshot against his pale and clammy skin, and his body trembling with what Birdperson guesses is fever. Despite this, Rick never diverts his attention from his project, except for the moments when his coughing overtakes him so violently that he has to place a hand on the desk to support himself.

Birdperson slowly opens the door. Rick doesn’t appear to notice him, absorbed in his work.

“Rick?” Birdperson tries to speak gently, so as not to frighten his friend. His efforts are in vain, as Rick jumps so hard he nearly falls out of his chair.

“Geez, Pers, don’t scare me like that!” Rick wheezes, his voice so rough and strained that Birdperson internally winces at the sound of it. After a moment to recover from the shock, Rick breaks into a shaky grin. 

“Hey, check it out! I’ve almost finished the wiring on this circuit board, and once that’s done I can connect in the-” Rick is cut off by another bout of coughing, his body almost bent double. Birdperson steps forward, troubled, placing a supporting hand on Rick’s shoulder. As Rick’s paroxysm eases, Birdperson presses the back of his other hand to Rick’s forehead.

“You are hot.” he states, frowning in concern. Rick’s face melts into a delirious smirk.

“Heh, thanks, baby.” he mumbles. Part of Birdperson thinks that maybe Rick isn’t so ill if he’s still able to joke, but he has known the man long enough to know that this is unlikely to be the case. Besides, Rick almost certainly hasn’t eaten or slept in hours if he’s been this fixated on his project.

“Rick, you are unwell. Allow me to help you to bed.”

Rick pouts in a way that Birdperson would find adorable were he not so anxious about his friend’s wellbeing. 

“Aw, Pers, c’mon. I’m nearly done. At least lemme finish this circuit board!” he whines like a nestling. Well, if Rick is going to behave like a nestling, then Birdperson will have to treat him like one.

Catching Rick off guard, he grabs the skinny man in his arms, restraining him. Rick tries to struggle and protest, but he’s much weaker than Birdperson at the best of times, let alone in his current fever-stricken state. Birdperson carries Rick the short distance from his desk to his bed in two brisk steps and deposits him gently atop the mattress. As soon as Rick’s body touches the bed, he completely stops resisting and the weight of his illness seems to strike him all at once. He pulls the blankets up to his chin, shivering.

“BP, I-I don’t feel well.” he stammers through chattering teeth, his fever making him more vulnerable than Birdperson has ever seen him allow himself to be.

“What assistance do you require?”

“I-I’m cold. And thirsty. And my throat hurts.”

Birdperson makes a mental note. 

“I will return shortly with blankets and tea.” he informs Rick, then begins to leave.

“Wait!” Rick’s voice sounds small and scared, like a child after a nightmare. Birdperson turns back. “D-don’t leave me.” 

“Rick, if I am to help you, I must leave to acquire the things you need.”

Rick looks almost as if he might cry, and Birdperson is struck with an uncomfortable mix of emotions: concern, for his friend’s health; guilt, that he has upset Rick; and a strange feeling he can’t name, as if he is invading Rick’s privacy by seeing him in a compromised state. He tries to push these aside to deal with the matter at hand. He leans in and gently rests a hand on top of Rick’s. Rick clutches at it with his other hand.

“I will only be gone for a minute. I will come straight back.” 

Rick still looks hesitant. “You promise?”

Birdperson nods solemnly. “I promise.”

Rick nods and releases Birdperson’s hand. As Birdperson turns to leave, he hears Rick sniffle, and he’s not sure if it’s from the illness or the emotion or a mixture of both.

True to his word, he hurries as much as he can, gathering blankets, a glass of water, tea with one spoonful of space honey. When he re-enters Rick’s bedroom, he’s struck by how small and frail the other man looks. Rick looks relieved to see him, as if he truly believed that Birdperson would abandon him. 

Birdperson gets to work tucking Rick in with extra blankets and tries to encourage him to drink. As he sits next to Rick, the other man leans in close to him, resting his head on Birdperson’s shoulder and clinging onto his arm. He looks so pathetic that Birdperson tries his best to comfort him, awkwardly brushing Rick’s hair from where it is stuck to his sweaty forehead. Although Birdperson knows he looks fairly humanoid, hair is not a feature his species possesses, and even at a moment like this, a small part of him marvels at its soft texture, how it is so similar to, yet entirely different from, feathers.

“Don’t go.” Rick mumbles, his voice hushed, as if his shame at the idea of showing vulnerability is so deeply ingrained that it manages to persist even through the fog of fever.

“You wish for me to stay here with you?”

Rick nods, and Birdperson knows there’s no way he can leave.

“I will have to sleep here, then?” he half asks, half states.

Again, Rick simply nods in response. Birdperson wriggles his body down under the covers next to Rick, who remains clutching onto him. Birdperson can feel him trembling, and he wraps an arm and a wing around Rick. Rick’s skin burns with fever, and Birdperson hopes that their species are different enough that Rick’s illness will not be transmissible to him. Although Rick is a remarkably clever man, biology is not typically one of his areas of passion, and humans are rare enough as to be almost non-existent in the universe, meaning that Birdperson has no way of knowing if this is the case. His eyes flicker to the man next to him, finally asleep, his face relaxed and innocent in a way Birdperson has never seen it before.

It’s worth the risk, he thinks, before finally returning to sleep himself.  

Bonus:

“Hey Rick,” cries Squanchy in a voice far too loud for the current hour of the morning. “Have you squanched my - ” he abruptly cuts himself off as he takes in the sight of his two bandmates curled up asleep together in Rick’s bed. 

“Thank the stars those two idiots finally just squanched and got it over with.” he mutters to himself as he makes a hasty retreat to the kitchen.