#i’ve had this person blocked for a very long time now and i dont plan on changing that any time soon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zims-left-shoe · 4 years

Note

Hi, omg I love your stuff. Could I please request a tallest red x human female? I dont really have a specific idea. Just some fluff or headcannons is fine. Thank you so much. ILY😘

Yeah, of course! There’s a lot of dialogue, but I promise there’s fluff in the end!

Everything had been going so well. Until it didn’t.

A quiet moan of pain slipped out of your mouth as you continued to stay curled in fetal position on some hard surface, most likely a floor. Experimentally, you attempted to open your eyes, only to have your vision swamped by flashing saturated colors. You screwed your eyes shut again, drowning in the disorientation. There were probably voices around you, but they reached your ears as incoherent mumblings. Apparently, humans weren’t meant for instant intergalactic teleportation across schmillions of light years.

You were unsure of how long you had been laying wherever you were, nor did you suppose it mattered. Ever since you had been mildly conscious, you had been trying to recall what exactly had happened, without much luck. However, the second you had stopped caring about the preceding events, they all hit you with the force of twenty one bullet trains.

"Behold! Doesn't it amaze you?!" A very short alien gestured wildly to a glowing portal, grinning madly as if he couldn't believe his own genius.

"Yes, Zim. It's very nice." Smiling uneasily, you nodded, your palms becoming slick with sweat. Over the years, you had learned to just agree with whatever Zim said, things went over much smoother that way. However, that didn't mean you weren't worried. Whatever Zim created tended to backfire...violently. Or explode. Or not work as intended. Or all of the above.

"Okay? But what does it even do?" The other human in the room spoke, more openly skeptic than you were. Purple light reflected off of his glasses as he shuffled through papers of calculations, which he couldn't read anyway, considering they were written in Irken. "Or, more accurately, what is it supposed to do?"

"You imply that Zim's inventions never work as they should, Dib-stink!" Zim crossed his arms and turned away from Dib, clearly less than pleased with his lack of enthusiasm.

"That's because they don't!"

"Name one time!"

"Shall we take a look in The Cabinet?" The man decked out in black and blue thrusted an arm out towards a cabinet threatening to explode with close to ten years' worth of records of failed plans. Zim growled, lunging at Dib who was bent over in laughter. Before he could get very far, you grabbed the Irken's ankle, yanking him back.

"That's enough, you two. Honestly. Act your age." The two disgruntled men grumbled complaints under their breath, but ceased their childish antics. If you hadn't known them for years, you wouldn't have believed that these two were now adults. "Now, Zim, could you kindly tell us what this thing does?" Your voice was soft and patient, hoping to set him back on track. He tended to become distracted quite often.

"Yes! It's a portal that will allow the instant transportation of anything, the range being the entire universe!" He spread his arms wide, a laugh already bubbling up in his throat. Dib groaned and rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were working on the Irken conversions so I could finish my part on the ship." You couldn't help but crack a smile. Their ship was never going to be finished at this rate.

"Yes, but this is much more important! I have an ingenious plan for it!"

"Enlighten us." Dib spoke flatly, still not convinced.

Zim pulled out a box wrapped up like a gift, complete with a neat little pink bow. "Zim will send this to my Tallest using the portal! Trust me, they'll love what's in here." Light from the portal glinted menacingly off of his teeth. The box made hushed mewling noises and began to ooze green goo.

"Is...is it alive?" Your voice was cautious. You took a step back when the box began to shake in his hands, bumping your back against one of the many machines in his lab.

"Zim, we've talked about this. The Tallest don't care, Irk has abandoned you, let it go. You know as well as I do that your mission isn't real, and that it's over." Dib sighed, not with frustration, more so pity. A few years ago when Zim had finally got it through his thick skull that his mission was a trick, it had devastated him to a point that no one had ever seen. You saw how much he needed a job, and Dib did as well. Dib had an issue with it in the beginning, but you both took him in, using his science skills to aid in Dib's personal projects. The last plan you were aware of was that the two were working on a ship of their own that would let them travel space together, something about Dib getting presentable proof of alien life while at the same time giving Zim a purpose. Zim seemed to have forgotten about Irk. Until now, at least.

"Don't worry about it! It's...a parting gift." The look in Zim's eyes brought you great discomfort. "Only a symbol of the termination of my service to the empire. That is all." His voice was pleasant enough, but you sensed some dark undertones. His fingers danced away on the controls, a dull hum echoing through the base as the portal fired up it's key functions. 'The Massive' and some coordinates became displayed on the screen above the portal, the destination locked in.

"Zim…" Dib took a step forward, as did you. "You've had plenty of bad ideas, but I think this one is going to take the cake. So just shut the thing off." Zim shrugged his concerns off, stepping closer to the portal with the box that was becoming more aggressive the closer it came. Red light emitted from a lens at the top of the portal as it scanned the box in Zim's hand.

"Scan complete. Item composition: deadly. If transported, item will cause half of the universe to implode." The voice of the computer drawled. Your eyes widened as you looked to Zim, who acted as if he didn't hear the warning. More likely, he didn't care. When did he ever? He brought his arm back as he stood in front of the portal, preparing to throw the box.

Although it happened in the course of only a split second, it all was in slow motion for you. Without thinking, you took off, sprinting across the small room and leaping at Zim, harshly shoving him and the box out of the way of the portal. You had managed to prevent the tragedy of space implosion, but unfortunately, your forward motion continued, sending you through the portal. You had heard Dib's scream, but it sounded a million miles away. Your brain couldn't comprehend what had happened during the course of the teleportation, so it put you out of your misery, allowing you to pass out.

"Ugh...Zim. Of course." You forced yourself to sit up, rubbing your eyes with closed fists. You were slouched over, and once the static finally cleared from your vision, you blinked several times until your eyes adjusted to the new light. The panicked whispers from before continued, but you could now make out what they were saying.

"Did she say 'Zim'?"

"What creature is it?"

"Is it a weapon?"

Your brain finally jumpstarted, and you whipped your head around, eyes darting from one face to another. Several Irkens surrounded you, to where you couldn't see anything but a sea of green. You scooted backwards to create more room between you and the crowd, bumping into something behind you. You jerked yourself around, facing two of the tallest creatures you had ever seen. Instantly you recognized them as Zim's Almighty Tallest. They were much taller in real life than you imagined them to be. Even as an adult female standing at your full height, you knew they would tower over you. Hell, they would overtake Dib by a landslide, who now stood well over six feet. They bent over you to get a better look. After a second of silent observation, the one in purple straightened up and groaned loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Oh god, it's one of those creatures that inhabits Zim's planet!" The purple one resumed wailing madly. The one dressed in red straightened up as well, but said nothing. His red bug eyes rested on you quizzically, intrigued by your mere existence. "You! How did you get here?" The purple one pointed a long and slender finger at you, his face filled with pure terror.

"I went through Zim's portal, it was an accident-" Your voice was panicky. Almost all of the Irkens around you were riddled with anxiety, which you absorbed like a sponge.

"So, Zim sent you!" The purple one just loved to shout, didn't he? You wondered if this was a common trait among Irkens.

"No! It-"

"He sent you for malicious purposes! Like, to, uh...to annoy us into oblivion! Yeah!" So, the purple one was a moron. Good to know. Nevertheless, the crowd of Irkens began mumbling, as if you were trapped in a high energy court room.

"This is all a big misunderstanding, now maybe you could just...drop me off at home, or maybe send me with an escape pod or something-"

"To the dungeons with her!" The purple one screeched, yet again pointing a finger at you.

"Yes, My Tallest!" Two guards came up to you with taser spears, and you concluded it would be best not to fight. You had been electrocuted with high voltage electricity in Zim's lab once on accident, and it did not feel pleasant. A sigh fell from your lips as each guard took an arm, dragging you to the dungeons of The Massive while cheers rose from the Irken crowd.

"I swear, I will kill Zim when I get my hands on him." You muttered, tossing a coin you had in your pocket against the wall for the four thousandth time. You sat on the floor of your cell, the cold concrete making you shiver. The wall that pressed against your back was the same. There wasn't even a cot in there. Iron bars with buzzing electricity fields between them blocked your exit.

"That's not the first time I've heard that in here." A voice floated toward your ears, however it was muffled by the surrounding concrete.

"Who are you?" You had assumed you were alone in there. After all, how often could you possibly use a dungeon on an armada flagship?

"I'm Deek. I think. Honestly, I've been here so long I can't even remember." The voice, which sounded male, giggled. "Anyway, what are you in here for?"

"Not sure. Trespassing, maybe? The more accurate term would be a kneejerk reaction. What about you?"

"Being annoying. I guess."

"Shit, really? I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's better than being tossed out the airlock." You ceased throwing the coin. Decidedly, Irken society seemed to be hell in space. "In fact, they just threw Jix out last week. Poor gal." Deek's voice held a tinge of sadness. Images flashed through your mind of your body being launched into space. That wasn't how you had envisioned dying. You shuddered.

The sound of a door opening and steps approaching your cell caused every muscle in your body to tense. You vaguely wondered if it was your turn for death by airlock. You squeezed your eyes shut, curling yourself into a ball with your face between your knees, not wanting to see who had stopped in front of your cell.

"So..." The voice was level and calm, a stark contrast to the chaos of before. Cautiously, you lifted your head, opening your eyes. At your level, you could only see a long crimson skirt. Pushing yourself up to a standing position, you still had to crane your neck to see his face. The red Tallest stood before you, a bored expression plastered on his face.

"Are you here to kill me?"

"Uh..." He almost seemed surprised that you had asked that. Even still, you wouldn't take any chances.

"You shouldn't kill me! Just, you know, reverse engineer the phenomena or something and teleport me back! Or even send me in an escape pod! Humans, uhm, we cause massive explosions when killed! Yeah! So you'd destroy yourself in the process." If he had sensed you were lying, he didn't care. However, he did look puzzled by your desperate reaction.

"What? No, I'm not here to kill you." He let out a massive sigh, bending over to look you in the eye. "I'm just bored. There's only so much of Purple's antics I can take at a time." Your shoulders relaxed in immediate relief.

"Wait, his name is Purple? Let me guess, your name is Red?" That was such a strange notion to you. Every other Irken you had heard of all had such bizarre names, and apparently these two just went by Red and Purple.

"Yeah? So? Also, it's Tallest to you." The threatening tone inserted into his words was half-hearted at best.

"Can't I call you Red? I'm not Irken."

"I don't think so, short-thing."

"Why not? And I'm not short! You're just tall. Plus, my name is Y/n. Not short-thing." You huffed, unconsciously shifting to stand on your toes, increasing your height by maybe an inch at the most. He seemed to appreciate his height being acknowledged, so he relented.

"Fine, do what you want." Red continued to stare at you, almost as if he couldn't quite understand what you were. You didn't blame him, the circumstance had been kind of sudden. Plus, he hadn't heard from Zim in years. Most likely, everyone had assumed him to be dead.

"You said you were bored? I'll have you know, I can be quite entertaining! So maybe you could, I dunno, get me out of here?" Your lips lifted in a sweet smile, hoping Irkens could be swayed by charm. There was a second of silence as he mulled the idea over. On one hand, it would give him something to do besides eat and blow things up. On the other, if anyone saw, many questions would arise. Despite his concerns, curiosity won out. With his two thin fingers, he tapped a code into a keypad on the wall. There was a dying buzz as the electricity stopped flowing and the iron bars were lifted. There was a part of you that was amazed that he actually let you out. You stepped out, watching his face to make sure he wasn't bluffing about sparing your life. Not a muscle in his body so much as twitched, hell, you weren't even sure if he was breathing. You didn't know how he could with a waist like that. "So, what now?"

"I thought you said you were the master of fun?"

"I said I was entertaining, not the master of fun. But, I dunno, we could start by getting out of here. Space prison kind of kills the vibe."

"Fine." Red began walking, well, hovering down the hall. He did not look back to see if you were following, and you had to jog to catch up. "Oh, and this isn't space prison, that's Moo-Ping 10. This is more like space holding."

"There's a difference?"

"Oh yeah." You were sure you were both still in the belly of the ship, considering you never once went up a flight of stairs. However, you had exited the dungeon area, and emerged into a more open room. There were some tables and chairs, and the room was lit by white florescent lights. Everything else within the room was some shade of pink. Occasionally, he would take a quick glance around, as if to make sure no one was watching. Was he supposed to be down here? If he was a supreme leader of society, you weren't sure why it mattered where he was or who he was with.

"What is this place?" You finally asked as he took a seat in a chair, chin resting in his hand. His glances in your direction were fleeting and infrequient, almost as if he were embarrassed to be intrigued by something so short.

"Not sure. An unused dining hall maybe?" Satisfied with his answer, you took a seat next to him. Taking the opportunity to look him up and down, youwere confused by his anatomy. He was built differently than every Irken you had ever seen. You pointed to his impossibly skinny waist.

"How?" You opted for that phrasing, as you were unsure if 'is that natural?' would have been rude.

"Hm? Oh. Corset." His answers to everything were quick and simple. Even still, you couldn't help but stare in wonder.

"Doesn't it hurt?" You assumed having a corset tightened to such an extreme would be incredibly painful, but he only shrugged without a care.

"You get used to it. It's all part of being Tallest, just as is losing your thumbs." A smirk etched its way onto his face at your horrfied expression as his wiggled his two fingers through the gauntlet on his arm. Subconsciously you rubbed your thumbs, lips pursed in a tight line. "You're a curious little thing."

"You act like I'm a child! I'm a grown woman, thank you very much." You may still have been young by human standards, but you had still made it over the age of 18, so technically, you were an adult. Red chuckled at your pouting, as you had just proven his point unintentionally. A ghost of a smile was present on his face. Was he actually enjoying himself? You decided to switch gears. "The whole dynamic of Irk is strange."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"It's like one big military." Red snickered, unable to stop the chuckle that rose from his chest.

"Of course it is. That's kind of our whole thing." He lifted a hand, trying to gesture to the armada as a whole.

"Oh, yeah. Right." Another silence fell between you two. It was rather difficult for you as a human to comprehend Irken society. It all just seemed so...foreign. So static and stiff.

Red was the first to speak again. "Tell me then. What's Earth like?" Excitedly, you sat up in your chair, eyes shining.

"Well, people still respect each other, sometimes anyway, but everyone is less stiff with each other. There's more kindness. Now, don't get me wrong, there are many who are full of hate and lots of people fight all the time, but it's still less so than Irk. Plus, height isn't such a huge deal. And there's relationships." Your words came out quickly, hands moving to accentuate your thoughts.

"Relationships?" If Red had eyebrows, they would be raised in questioning. His voice was laced with suspicion, as if he didn't trust the concept.

"Yeah! All different kinds. Familial, platonic, romantic, etc. You know, parents, siblings, friends, that kind of thing...usually, they're all based on love. And, no offense, but there seems to be an absence of that here." You had heard it from Zim many times before. Irkens can't feel love, they trust no one and all that. On some level, you doubted that to be true, rather it was more of a choice, that maybe they were told that love is a sign of weakness so they chose not to feel anything at all.

"Love...?" Red spit out the word as if it burned his tongue. Clearly, love was not a well thought of concept in Irken culture. After a moment, he appeared to recall something. "I think I remember something that happened years ago...Zim called about some romantic experiment he was running on some girl. Said it was very pain-based. This is something humans find...pleasant?" Waving your hands you shook your head in a clear 'no'. No wonder Red was concerned by the idea of love.

"No! Not unless you're a masochist anyway. I don't know what the hell he was doing, but that's not what love is."

His tone showed that he was still mildly disgusted with the topic, but nevertheless, he proceeded to ask for further clarification. "Then what is it?" Red was never very interested when Zim had been reporting ten-ish years ago, but now that he had a subject sitting right in front of him, the idea became somewhat exciting.

"Like, romantic love?" You asked, a small part of you hoping he was asking about platonic love instead. You weren't entirely sure how to explain romance to a species who understood nothing but pain and hierarchy. Red nodded, asking you to go on. You breathed out a relenting sigh, struggling for the right words to explain it. "Romance is...uhm…it's when..." Red peered at you expectantly, crimson eyes wide and inquisitive. Finally, you came up with something. "It's when you like someone very much, and you would do almost anything for them." He nodded slowly, looking as if he was beginning to grasp it.

"Like pledging your loyalty?" Loyalty was a thing Irkens could understand thoroughly.

"Yeah, like that! And you want to do lots of stuff together! Spend time together and all that. There's also physical affection." His head cocked to the side, similar to a puppy.

"Physical affection?"

"Ye...Yeah...!" Your feet shifted on the floor as you clutched the hem of your shirt between your fingers. You couldn't help but feel nervous under his gaze. Your face flushed as he stared out at you through half-lidded eyes, overly fixated on the topic of physical affection.

"What's that?" Once again, his voice was as even as could be. The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a grin, enjoying the way you were acting. It was quite amusing to him. You suddenly regretted bringing up the subject of romance.

"Like, examples?" Swallowing hard, your fingers began to drum on the table. How were you possibly supposed to describe it to him? He certainly wouldn't know what a hug or a kiss was. "I don't think I can exactly describe it to you..." You hoped he would leave it at that and move on.

Of course that wasn't the case. That was the problem with Irkens. Once they found a way to make you squirm, they would push until it was no longer fun. "Then show it to me." His response was quick, zero hesitation. He looked completely satisfied, for once not feeling that familiar dull, almost constant ache of boredom. You weren't sure about it at first, but the longer he looked at you with that smug expression, the more determined you became to wipe that smirk off his face.

"Fine." Irkens are touch-starved creatures. It wouldn't take anything too extreme to accomplish what you wanted. You stood up, moving over to plant yourself right in his lap. Taking his hand, you intertwined your fingers with his two, pressing your face into his chest. "Humans do things like cuddle and hold hands." His heartbeat was similar to a human's, the rhythym just slightly different. This close, you could hear the soft hum of his PAK. With your free hand, you traced indescribable shapes into his chest. If you were to look up, you would have seen his antennae twitching. Already, you had accomplished what you had set out to. He was no longer teasing or overconfident. Although he would never admit it, he was content with the attention. As you continued to draw random nothingness, Red let out what sounded like a low purr, the sound sending a pleasant rumble through his chest and against your skin. A series of quiet chirps followed, and you had to assume he was satisfied. You couldn't help but giggle, and at the time, the uncertainty of how you would get home was the furthest thing from your mind.

"Do humans do anything else?" Red attempted to suppress the spark in his voice, but was wildly unsuccessful. His tone was the farthest thing from passive. You let go of his hand, sitting up to face him.

"Of course we do." You experimentally raised a hand to his face, seeing if he would shy away. That was not the case, rather the opposite. He seemed to almost lean into your touch. You weren't sure why he was so okay with this; you supposed that each Irken had different policies and tolerances when it came to physical contact. Red seemed to be anxiously awaiting whatever was coming next, his expression eager. "Sometimes we give each other kisses." You didn't bother fighting the smile that played at your lips as you peppered several kisses all over his face. There was barely an inch of his cheeks and forehead that went untouched. Red's face felt hot beneath your lips, and if Irkens could blush, you were sure he would be completely flushed. His fingers had drifted to your sides, lightly resting there.

Hmm...Irkens are quite interesting... You thought as you held eye contact with Red. He was clearly embarrassed to be engaging in this, but more so at the fact that he was enjoying it. And yet, he held your gaze, unwilling to back down. You wondered what would happen if someone found him like this. What would even happen?

"The rest of human physical affection is rather intimate, so the lesson will have to end here." Before he could protest, you leaned in one last time, pressing your lips to where his should be. His fingers dug into your sides, antennae shooting straight up in the air. You had never dreamed that you would be kissing an alien leader on a warship in space, but you wouldn't say you were disappointed. Pulling away, Red's grip on you loosened, and something bright caught your eye. Small sparks were being thrown from his PAK, which concerned you slightly. "Uh, Red...?" Pointing a finger to his PAK, he shook his head wildly, and after a moment, everything seemed to be alright again.

"It's fine!" He spoke abruptly, voice loud and awkward. His voice drew in some company, as Purple stuck his head in the room.

"There you are! Zim keeps sending transmissions through and he's going crazy-" Red yelped, practically throwing you off of him and into the nearest chair he could find.

"So, do I go home now?" You asked, and for the first time, Purple seemed to notice you.

"Ack! How did you get out of the dungeons?!" Purple jumped back, despite already being across the room from you.

"I have super powers." You snickered at his frightened appearance. Red rolled his eyes, waving his counterpart off.

"Just go, I'll deal with Zim." Purple nodded, zipping out of the room. You weren't sure if your senses were playing tricks on you, or if Red really was disappointed to see you leave. "C'mon, Y/n. Let's go figure out how to reverse engineer a transport portal."

#invader zim #tallest red #invader zim fanfiction #invader zim x reader #invader zim fic #invader zim one shot #invader zim oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot #one shot #request

139 notes · View notes

akirameta84 · 3 years

Text

original chuunibyo au post but condensed down for me to easily read/reference (and edited because the spelling errors piss me off every single time okay)

(this is bad btw and not very accurate to the actual plot points i fleshed out later with audrey but its the rough thing and when i link the post from the posted fic i dont want the fucking spelling mistakes and ill shut up now)

(i gave up fixing mistakes halfway through and just fixed names okay)

okay so i had this randomly while reading and like now im too invested.

So like, imagine saiki has chuunibyo just like kaidou in middle school and his parents are just like?? yeah its chuunibyo but he has powers?? and so we cant tell him its fake really? and like nobody believes he's actually an esper because cmon, its obviously 8th grader delusion. and he gets to high school and him and kaidou get along so well. and one day, jet black wings and whatever saiki calls himself are, idk, stopping dark reunion and saiki shows his actual powers and so kaidou goes even further into delusion. i imagine they make all the same friends but like they all just put up with it.

that was long but seriously imagine

akirameta84

reblogging cause i had MORE TO ADD

okay so, his meeting with toritsuka. toritsuka has no clue about the chuunibyo, and saiki is like how did you hear of my totally secret abilities?? and first of all, the spirits told him, and second, literally everyone knows cause he won't shut up about it but obviously doesnt believe it. and honestly toritsuka has no clue whether saiki is actually an esper or just had really bad chuunibyo. then they meet at school and toritsuka sees him with kaido and is like yeahhh he's prolly not legit. until saiki ends up threatening him in the bathroom and reveals his telepathy and toritsukas like you're kidding right??

thank you for coming to my ted talk im so gonna write a fanfic for this at some point

akirameta84

"I wear a blindfold over my eyes because i was inflicted with a deadly curse, and even a glance can leave you paralyzed in fear, and-"

Kusuke, slapping him: "Put on your glasses and go to school, you can't go blindfolded"

I feel like in this universe i somehow started, Kuusuke wouldn't be like he is in the original show, instead he's a lot calmer and actually cares somewhat for his brother. Why?...I just like that trope. anyways, he's the reason Kusuo hasn't accidentally made a real show of his powers. He just tiredly puts up with him, and made a point to come back from London every now and then to make sure Kusuo wasn't on the news or smt. Kusuo also told Kaidou that Kuusuke tries (and succeeds, with the limiters) to limit his powers, and they come up with the only conclusion, that he's a part of DARK REUNION. and kuusuke is just..done with this shit tbh

honestly im a little obsessed with this universe now

akirameta84

is it more you're looking for??? hehehehe

so saiki doesn't use the hypnosis that make his devices seem normal, at all. prolly cause it makes Fuchsia Deathbringer (editing note: idk if ill use this but i still think its neat) look 10x cooler. and yes, I've decided that's what he calls himself. i came up with it at 3am lmao. anyways, obviously his friends find his gear weird but considering kaidou wears similar things they're just all like..okay yknow what? just gonna...pretend its not there. kuusuke has to constantly stop him from removing his limiters because he believes they're dark forces of evil restricting him, when in reality they're the only reason the world is intact.

akirameta84

oh no she's adding to the chuunibyo post again oh god-

kokomi and chiyo both develop their crushes on him, but kokomi's desire to make him say oh wow fades away quicker, and maybe the crush itself, cause damn he's not all with it. on the other side, maybe she finds the chuunibyo endearing, similar to chiyo with kaidou in canon. speaking of chiyo, in this au she apparently has a thing for boys with chuunibyo huh. her crush on saiki starts when him and kaidou are talking about dark reunion or smt and she imagines being rescued by him all princess like. she tries the classic tricks, but he avoids them. why? because he has no time for people interrupting his plans to stop the worlds end, duh.

this whole post is not gonna be seen but who cares cause now ive got fic ideas laid out lmao

incorrect-saiki

I love how detailed this is and it’s great

What place does Nendo have in this au? I imagine he’s seen Saiki’s powers and believes him and so he either believes Kaidou or taunts him to show his powers like Saiki has

akirameta84

omg im so glad you think that >.< actually hadn't thought about nendo yet.

i love your idea of him taunting kaidou. saiki of course defends him saying that he can't show his powers because removing the seal on his arm is too deadly. however, deep down, i think saiki knows that kaidou doesn't actually have powers, but whether he's ignoring that detail his mind came up with to spare kaidou or his own fantasy's he doesnt know. anyway, saiki is still nendo's buddy pal whatever, and saiki deems him a lackey. just a lackey. poor nendo. but he's okay with it, cause he can still hang out with his buddy and the runt to get ramen.

incorrect-saiki

Oooooo I love to think that Saiki is in deep denial about Kaidou not having powers and can sense that he doesn’t. He won’t listen to it and will say to himself that Kaidou’s “limiters” (bandages) are just blocking it because he doesn’t want to face the fact that he’s all alone in terms of his powers. He could destroy the world in just three days and no one else knows how that feels so he feels desperate to have at least one person who understands him, even if he knows it’s a lie.

akirameta84

some angst and i LOVE IT

my crack fanfiction now has a smidgen of angst prolly gonna get added in it damn

incorrect-saiki

I love Saiki angst and now that’s like the main thing I can think about with this right now. When Saiki finally stops talking about his powers (after coming to terms with Kaidou not having any) people think “oh he’s finally growing up and getting better” but nope... he is going down a long and depressed hallway because he’s a god and is the only one

akirameta84

ah yes my favorite trope, make the characters realize something horrible and have them suffer through a depressed like state and the horror of them realizing they're alone in the struggles (spoiler, they aren't technically, they have love from people who will support them even if nobody can relate)

haha time to make him suffer

#not tagging cause this is really just for me

9 notes · View notes

thesameasbe4 · 3 years

Text

Red Boots

Part 1

Part 2

The frigid air ripped into her bare legs as the bike tore down the road with relentless speed. Sav squeezed her eyes shut and continued to cling tightly to the figure sat in front of her. At first she thought she could hear the roar of other bikes behind them, but she soon became overwhelmed with the sensations bombarding her and lost track of the pursuers behind them. The man in front of her maneuvered the bike well, winding in and out of alleys and side streets. Finally after what felt like hours he slowed to a halt, the bike idling in an alley that Sav was unfamiliar with.

She dismounted and pulled her helmet off, handing it back to the man. “Thanks,” she said cautiously, unsure if she was any safer with him than with those other men, her eyes continuing to search his clothing for an indication of affiliation with a motorcycle club, but she couldn’t find anything in the damp darkness of the night.

“Do you know where we are?” The man asked. Sav shook her head. He cut the engine and dismounted as well, moving to stand next to her. Gently he guided her to the entrance of alley and pointed to a building a few blocks down. Sav swallowed hard. A handful of men from the gang at the bar were loitering in front of what she now recognized as her apartment building. She stepped back further into the shadows, her body trembling more from fear than the cold. What had she stepped into? What did they want with her? How did they know where she lived? And where was she supposed to go?

…

It was clear to Bucky that she didn’t have a plan and had no idea what to do next. Hell, he didn’t really know what to do either. It had been a long time since he had spent time with anyone who wasn’t capable of caring for themselves in crises like this. He realized he didn’t really know how to act around her. He had a strong urge to touch her, hold her hand, give her a hug, something like that. But he wasn’t sure she would want that, and what if she felt his arm? Surely she would be turned off by that. It was most important now to get her to a place she felt safe for the night.

“Hem hem,” Bucky cleared his throat softly, causing her to turn her face up to his. “So, do you have a friend you can stay with for a little while?” He asked. She shook her head.

“Not this side of the Mason-Dixon Line I don’t,” she said, “and I’m not going back no matter how many bikers are waiting outside my apartment.”

“What about a hotel? Could I take you to a hotel for the night?” Again she shook her head, this time scrunching her nose up.

“Not on my wages.” They stood there silently for a few more minutes before Bucky handed her the helmet again.

“Alright then,” he said, cocking his head to the side, “I guess you will have to come home with me, though I’m warning you, my couch isn’t that comfortable.” This time she had more of a chance to catch her balance on the bike, and Bucky took care to let her settle behind him, pulling her arms more securely around his waist before maneuvering the bike back onto the street.

…

Bucky knew this was a bad decision on his part, not only was he ignoring the promise he had made to himself that he would not involve regular people in his life, he was also taking on someone else’s problem. He didn’t even know why these men were following the bar tender, what could she be caught up in that he was stepping into by coming to her aide? The woman behind him adjusted her hands wrapped around his torso and he felt a warmth spread through him at the reminder of her touch. It had been so long since he had had any real personal connection with anyone. Maybe it would be alright, he had been observing her every Friday for a few months now, she was just a normal person… No, he knew better than to think optimistically. Everyone has shit in their past, deceit and manipulation are normal. And she had the look of someone running. She was clearly a transplant, living in the tumultuous world of New York night life, has all the signs of living a rough and stressful life, and now she was being inexplicably being pursued by a group of bikers.

Bucky pulled up to the back of his apartment building and cut the engine, helping the woman down before he swung his leg over the bike.

“Well, I guess if we are gonna be roommates, we should know each other’s names at least,” the woman said, holding her hand out. “My name is Sav.”

Hesitantly, Bucky took the cold, bony hand she offered him, “James.”

…

Bucky was embarrassed even before they got to his flat, thinking about the dishes in the sink and the lack of, well, most conventional things that homes have. But he had come this far and he didn’t really see a way out of this one, so he took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Sav didn’t say anything as she stood just inside the threshold of the room, worrying her long coat still wrapped tightly around her. Remembering his manners he stepped toward her again, “uh, can I take your coat?”

Sav didn’t move to take it off, “um, I’m a little chilly actually,” she said. Bucky nodded, stepping back again, remembering that underneath her coat was much too little clothing for a New York winter. He gave her a tour of the small space, just two rooms but also a bathroom with a claw foot tub. Something the landlord mentioned several times to him before he signed the lease. He cranked the heater up as Sav returned to stand on a spot just inside of the door.

“Look,” Bucky said, “I dont really know whats going on with you, and I don’t really want to know. I don’t even really know why I offered to help you out back there except that you are a good bar tender and those guys are jerks.”

Sav smiled for the first time that night, “well you didn’t really offer, its more like you swooped in.”

Bucky looked at his boots, “yeah, I’m sure you probably could have handled it by yourself. You didn’t need me poking my nose in your business, and now here I am telling you not to pull me in when I’ve already done that myself.” Bucky continued to look down as he worried the hair at the nape of his neck.

Sav gently laid her hands on his shoulders and bending her knees, she tried to catch his eye. “I am really glad you were there tonight, James, I don’t know what else I would have done.” Bucky looked up at her now with bright eyes. “And truly, I don’t know who those guys are, I had seen them a couple of times in the bar before, but never thought anything of it… Why were they at my house?”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “I dunno that one, but what do you say that we forget about it for a little while? I can give you some fresh clothes if you want to take a bath.” Sav nodded and smiled.

…

It was very intimate to be wearing this strange man’s clothes, Sav thought as she looked at herself in the small bathroom mirror. She looked extra petite in the t shirt and sweat pants, but they were warm and dry and they smelled like James. She rolled her eyes at herself as she pulled her wet hair into a knot on the top of her head. Stepping out of the bathroom she let out a little squeak of surprise. Faster than she thought humanly possible, James was standing next to her.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked in a panicked voice.

It was Sav’s turn to look sheepish. “Oh, didn’t mean to alarm you, I just… the floor is much colder out here than in the bathroom.” Before she even finished the sentence Bucky had lifted her off the ground. Causing yet another squeak to leave her mouth again. Bucky froze with her in his arms, Sav’s hands clinging to his neck in nervous response to losing her footing so immediately.

“Well, lets find you some socks shall we?” Bucky stuttered as he walked her to a dark blue love seat next to a window. He set her down gently and backed away respectfully. Or thats what Sav would have called it had he not previously scooped her up without warning. Bucky retreated to the other room, and Sav took a few moments to collect herself, shrugging off the exposed feeling of not only being in what was essentially a stranger’s house but also wearing his clothes, being surrounded by his scent and the messiness (she didn’t mind) of his daily existence.

Bucky returned not long after with an arm full of blankets and warm clothes. Sav almost had to bat him away to keep him from dressing her himself. On went a sweater, two pairs of socks, and she finished with a fuzzy blanked which she used to tuck herself firmly into the corner of the love seat.

…

With the lights off and his unexpected house guest asleep in the front room, Bucky pulled his shirt off, his metal arm catching the light of a street lamp from the window. Bucky rubbed the area where the metal met the flesh of his shoulder thoughtfully. Sav would sleep here tonight and he would get rid of her in the morning, help her get to a friends house or bring her to a police station, something, and he would never have to address the fact that he was a reformed killing machine with a robotic arm.

With his metal arm weighing heavy at his side he fell into a restless sleep.

#winter soilder #winter soldier fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #mcu fic #marvel universe #sebastian stan

2 notes · View notes

rpgmgames · 5 years

Photo

January’s Featured Game: Roji's Room

DEVELOPER(S): Spicy Roll ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: RPG, Adventure, Mystery WARNINGS: Shifts in consciousness, Spooky, Strong language SUMMARY: Roji's Room is a turned base RPG about lucid dreaming, consciousness, emotions, friendships, meditation, wholesome, sleep paralysis, and adventure. You play as Jae who is an avid lucid dreamer, he wakes up in a room with no memory. You sleep and enter a dream world full of many entities that view their world as the real world. You meet Roji who is the key to solving what makes this dream world different from any other dream.

Download the teaser demo here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *Jaies: Hello this is Jude S. (Jaies) and I’m the lead composer for Roji’s Room! I’ve always loved making video game music, and following indie projects, and now I get to pair that love with a really great game. It’s a dream come true! I hope everyone enjoys the music and the game (: *Spicyroll: Greetings! This is Jaeroll the game developer for Roji's Room! For now I am mostly working alone with the game along with Jude who composes the music. I am a intro/extrovert who is in love with life and its inhabitants. I am a registered nurse and a Reiki master. I love meditating , yoga, anime, JRPGs, indie games, crystals and music. I have been dabbling with rpg maker since 2006 with RPGMaker XP. Making so many projects but not completing them haha. I am grateful for the indiedev and rpgmaker community met so many awesome people through this development.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Spicyroll: Roji's Room is an experiment for self discovery there will be many choices and activities that the player will be doing. It might be risky but my goal is not only to benefit the characters in the game but also the player themselves. Meditation, actions, emotions, wholesomeness. Display the rewards to practicing self love and the outcomes to not. I am a strong advocate to self love, I would love to deliver inspiration to people to practice more self love for themselves. I hope the game can invoke such emotions. But as the story its a mystery involving a boy who is a master at lucid dreaming but lost his memories. He was able to enter a dream world that is in disorder because the moderator lost it's body and is only a brain. The brain is Roji, its your quest to help retrieve the body and restore order to this special dream. While hopefully restoring the memories of Jae. Meeting many dream entities along the way your choices are really important. What inspired me is the many years of playing RPGs, and creating projects that was very surface and generic. I love art, creation and the helping of others.

How long have you been working on your project? *Spicyroll: It's been a good year (:

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Spicyroll: Many games like Moon remix RPG, Undertale, Mother 3, Nino kuni. Artists Bryan lee O maley, Rebecca Sugar, many more. I love the aspect of alternatives to fighting in RPGs. Wholesome.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Spicyroll: Yes there were many, sometimes just like many other developers you would get dev block or whatever. Burnt out for overworking and what not. Fear of people not liking the concept. Also a big one is the the limitations of rpgmaker, however I am grateful to the engine because just as an artist its easy to use. How I worked on it was giving time to myself, self love, doing other things other than game dev where it sparked that flame. Staying positive and interacting with other game devs. Playing story driven games.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Spicyroll: Many aspects! It was going to be REALLY spiritual and concepts were thrown onto you to "wake you up" However I realized it would be very jarring to people who aren't open to such concepts so I thought I should make it gradual. Current one is much more simple and I feel like more organized.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Spicyroll: Well my team is basically just me, I have many friends who produce music but most of them just wanted to chip in one song or two. I found an amazing composer online and built a cool friendship with him. I like working alone in terms of directing but I would be open to members. I just have the fear of butting heads and what not.

What is the best part of developing a game? *Spicyroll: The BEST part of developing a game is just creating something in general and to share in a interactive medium of your tastes of music and design. My most favorite is in hopes of invoking emotions for the player to release to help them in their daily lives.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Spicyroll: I have played many RPGMaker games most are on this list, the big ones Oneshot, Lisa, To The Moon. I realized the limitations of the engine but just remains grateful to be able to create a functional game with little knowledge of coding. Shout out to them plugin creators!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Spicyroll: Although majority of the characters haven't been introduced in development, I relate to the main character. The name is a self insert but the character himself is at his core wanting to empathize with entities and connect. Its up to the player who is the guide to flesh those out or go a different route.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Spicyroll: I actually dont have any regrets, I am just grateful to the whole process cause everything negative was a learning experience (:

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Spicyroll: TAs of now I would leave it as it is and if characters are likable maybe some side stories?

What do you most look forward to now that you have finished the game? *Spicyroll: I look forward to the many smiles and emotions players give while playing the game. Also just art in general characters in many different mediums of art. I would hope that any concept or action can help the person in their waking life.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Spicyroll: It would have to be the engine, I know that sometimes errors will occur and hinder the process of completion. But it will work out ^^

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Spicyroll: Practice self care for yourself, you only have one body, mind and soul. If you practice those things and better yourself you can bring your best self to work on this project. Its sometimes unavoidable due to habits but when you realize that overworking yourself doesn't do any good to yourself or the project you can evolve into higher conceptualization? Also make the game YOU want, like as a love letter to yourself (:

Question from last month's featured dev @grimmshollow: What tricks do you use to make playtesting/debugging easier? *Spicyroll: Tricks? Uhhhh keeping save points and such around? Having your friends play your game with unbias so you can get the whole picture. Which cuts out time doing final edits at the last min of release.

We mods would like to thank Spicy Roll for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Roji's Room if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rojis room #rpgmaker #rpg maker #rpgmaker mv #rpg games #indie games #game demo #rojis room game #games #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2020 #2020 #january #january 2020

265 notes · View notes

psychokangaroo · 4 years

Text

M3 Diary: Infernal Medicine pt 26 because that's what I'm calling it now.

Kind of stuck between the exhaustion and the pending hospice/goals of care transition/deaths today, I saw something pretty amazing that reminds me of why I loved psychiatry from a long time ago.

We walked in on this patient who is in DKA and grouchy and very hungry and thirsty. Hes angry. Hes angry that he doesn't get to eat food. The intern was not getting through to him at all. And he was starting to swear at all of us and refusing all treatment.

And then my senior did something pretty remarkable. She stopped. She shushed the intern in a nice way, and she stopped. She let the grouchy yelling patient finish. And then she let him fall silent. And then she started replying to him in a quiet and firm voice, empathizing with bis feelings, and somehow getting him to understand why we are doing what we do.

And it turns out, all he was irritated about was not knowing thr plan and feeling not being cared for.

By the time we finished, the man sheepishly apologized for yelling and saying that he's also bipolar and working on his mood swings too, and he's very grouchy today. And what started as an aggressive encounter turned into a softly pleasant one.

Not to toot my own horn, but this encounter reminded me of my first patient at the VA, with a highly intelligent and opionanted man who is probably considered a "difficult" patient, mostly because he likes to set his own schedules within reason amd wants to know everything about what and why he's getting the treatment that he does.

And as a black man, its completely understandable why he is the way he is, given the way that medical research has failed BlPOC again and again. The man was irritated ans done the first time I saw him. Almost right from the get go, he reminded me of the hospitalized patient I saw on psych consult way back in September when I started third year. And I remember all the ways I learned to listen to patients from that rotation. I put my notes and ny pen away, and took a seat on the windowsill next to his bed. And just let him talk, asking him questions about what is the most important thing to him, what matters to him, and how to make everything better. And when there was silence, I remembered what my own therapist once told me in jest (hey, feel free to keep silent. I'm a therapist. I am very good at dealing with silences).

And I came often too. The man was a little lonely. My personal patient list was pretty empty, and he had few visitors. I end up spending an hour or more chatting with him every day, mostly him talking. We talked a lot too, probably beyond what is generally considered appropriate professional conversation, like religion, politics, gender/sexual identity, his own background and my allusion to my own traumas growing up. I think he grew to trust and like me, and I think he was more trusting of us to at least giving him good options he can trust. At least, that's what he told my attending.

Both my patients and thr patient today reminded me some of the things that have fallen into the back if my mind these days and what made me love third year. Medicine is as much about the science of providing treatments with the best evidence for treatment as about the art of building relationships with people, some of whom distrust you and/orndislike you. Its easy to brush them off as difficult people, but more often than not, these people are understandably frustrated for very legitimate reasons. The hospital is a stressful place, and they sometimes need someone to vent to before they feel comfortable with accepting new information from thr endless stream of people parading in and out. And one of the most magical things that I've been told during first year and I now see applied in real time was thr magic of silence. Taking a breath, sitting down, and let your patient have a moment to finish their thoughts, rest, and process. Thag silence isn't awkward. It is restorative, taking people out of the din and chaos and into a moment of peace.

PS. Several years ago, I got into a fight with a classmate I started medical school with. She was talking about patients/colleagues in a way that is almost like she has quite a bit of internalized misogyny. She complained about fitness moms getting a boob job. She complained about bitchy nurses giving her an attitude. She complained about mean co-med students. I called her out on the way she describes her female colleagues. She blew up on me for calling her not super compassionate and promptly blocked me on facebook. I was pretty frustrated with her at the time, but also worried I may have gone too far. Besides, maybe she did happen to meet particularly annoying coworkers and patients. After all, I had not done my clerkship at the time so how would I know? How can I judge?

But now that im almost done with clerkships, I feel that mg criticism of her was more justified. I met some people who are tired and frustrated, but never in a malignant way that she described to me. Amd I have met some interesting situations. I have been yelled at. I have been cursed at. I have been threatened (although the pt is very unlikely to carry out the threat, plus she was manic). I met people who have murdered or committed other serious crimes. I dont know what it says about my distress tolerance, but none of that seem all that bad to me. In the end, these people are in a bad place, and in need of help. And despite all the "scary" encounters, in the end people re just people, flawed and human, much like myself. And I think that it is my job to lend a hand, not only with providing treatments but also doing the simple job of slowing down and offering am ear

#aj does med school #m3 diary #internal medicine #more like infernal medicine #trigger #death #threats #misogyny #internalizd misogyny

4 notes · View notes

sunbellylou · 4 years

Text

ask for writers !!

thank you @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).

my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.

my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?: i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?

3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.

also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!

8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it? i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?: definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.

and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.

and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?: ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always

24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?: just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.

and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments.

30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…"

The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat.

"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand.

“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be.

“You got me there.”

not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished:

Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.

best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home:

Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him.

5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss

6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons

8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss

8 notes · View notes

tylerwritez · 3 years

Text

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪 like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

#JudeJournals

1 note · View note

kweebtrash · 5 years

Text

When I See You Again (M)

Genre: Best Friends to Lovers! AU, Tattoo Artist! Yuto, 1st person reader

Summary: You and Yuto had met in high school, an unlikely pair as he was the juvenile delinquent and you were just a foreign exchange student trapped in a country who’s people didn’t except you and lost in homesickness. After saving you from your worst nightmare of being trapped against the wall between some bullies, you slowly started to become friends, though friendship quickly turned into a secret crush. When your heart was just about full a devastating accident caused you to be ripped away from Japan, never seeing Yuto again. Ten years later a chance encounter on a simple vacation turns your world upside down as the teenage boy you loved was now a man who still had a hold of your heart.

Warnings: violence (fighting), mentions of blood, bullying, mentions of abuse

Features: shy yuto, fun and awkward conversations during sexy time, oral (giving and receiving), fingering, slow and gentle and mostly romantic sex, a smidgearooni of dirty talk (but cute dirty talk). Basically Yuto can be confident at times but mostly shy in bed. Yuto is also very handsy and loves kissing so theres a lot of that in case it seems overdone.

Word Count:

A/N: This was actually a request i received almost a year ago (i’m so sorry) and i finally challenged myself to finish this. I don’t really think it’s my best but I really wanted to get back into writing for pentagon. To the person that requested this i’m so damn sorry it took so long.

I hope you at least think it was worth it.

My shoes pounded against the tile as i weaved through a crowded hallway full of students. My breath burned in my lungs and my heart pounded in my ears. I dodged a student council member, spinning on my heels and almost falling to my knees before catching myself. I took quick glances over my shoulder trying to see if they were behind me. Their raucous laughter was still close by as they remained high on my tail. I laser focused on the sound, hearing it over the gossiping whispers and angry yells as i almost crashed into the other students. Up ahead I could see a flight of stairs that lead to the rooftop. It felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. I sprinted up the stairs two at a time and grabbed onto the door handle, hoping to all hell that it wasn’t locked. I flung it open with all my strength, falling through the doorway. I slammed it shut behind me, pressing my back to it taking in deep breaths until my lungs went back into a rhythm of normalcy. Up on the roof gusts of fall air cooled my skin as i walked over to the edge. It was peaceful here. No one to shame me, no one to chase me, no one to make my life a living hell. I wished I wasn't here at all. I wanted to go back home. I momentarily looked down at the bustling sidewalk below. People looked like ants from how far up I was. A wave of nausea and fear came over me and I took a step back.

“You’re not going to jump are you?”

I whipped around quickly to see that i wasn’t alone on the rooftop. He was sprawled out on his back, hands folded behind his head, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. His uniform matched mine, but it looked like he was determined to violate every dress code put into place. His blazer was open, revealing a black v-neck underneath, tie hanging loosely around his neck, and piercings all along his ears. I stared at him momentarily taken aback by his "bad boy" vibes and piercing gaze. He seemed so familiar but I couldn’t quite place him. I walked to the center of the rooftop so I could stay safe. “No...I’m not planning on it.”

“Good. With my luck they’d say I pushed you.” He pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled.

“Who’s ‘they’?” I questioned, still wracking my brain trying to figure out who he was.

“Police. Principal. Students. Idiots and assholes. ‘They’.” It clicked in my head then. Adachi. I had heard the name floating in conversations in the hallway. My Japanese was far from perfect but I could at least recall that name. He towered over most of the students and was always in detention, cutting classes, and getting into fights. Rumors were even spread about him being a serial killer, which seemed typical of the students here; anything to shove away people who were different and isolate them. He had a different impact than I did. While i was the weak foreigner, he was one to be feared but I didn’t even think he looked intimidating. In fact, I thought he was kind of...cute. “What were you running from?” He continued, this time in English which surprised me but gave me a sense of comfort. His accent was heavy and words a little broken but i was the same with my Japanese so I didn't care.

Ever since my family moved to Japan for my dad’s job I had been struggling to pick up the language. It didn’t help that I was thrust into public school without any time to prepare for classes fully. Everyday was becoming more of a struggle for hundreds of reasons and I wished desperately that I could go back to my own country. In hindsight that was probably the most truthful answer-that I was running from everything- but I provided him the one that didn’t reveal my true feelings.

“Girls.” I stated flatly. “Stupid girls. Evil girls. They were...calling me this word I didn’t understand and they were laughing at me. Then they cornered me. I don’t know why they were so pissed off. I don’t even think I have classes with any of them. Before I knew it they we're grabbing at my hair and were trying to cut it. I ran away as fast as I could. It's been like that since I've started school here.”

Adachi scoffed and flicked his cigarette off the side of the roof. He stood up slowly, dusting off the back of his uniform pants. “Fight back.” He stated as if it was the most logical and useful answer. “Don't let anyone know what you're scared of or else you're just going to get treated like you're nothing.”

I almost laughed at his “advice.” “That’s your great idea? To fight? I’m sure it works well for you.” I said sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Oh it does.” He shot back at me. “You don't see me whining about people calling me gaijin and crying over being bullied, do you?”

My brows furrowed. “I wasn’t crying, asshole! It’s just irritating and annoying. I don’t understand what’s happening in my classes and I can’t even go to them without having people threatening to cause me bodily harm or throwing shit at me. On top of that, my parents would kill me if I ever got in trouble so i’m just….stuck.” I let out an exasperated sigh.

“Aww it must really suck to have mommy and daddy pout over you. Whether you follow my advice or not doesn’t mean two shits to me. But dont start whining when they come after you again.” He shrugged and headed towards the door, taking a moment to pause before turning back towards me. “People are stupid. Don’t let it get to you or else you’ll really end up jumping.” With that he left the rooftop leaving me alone at last.

Adachi…what a prick. Where did he get off telling me to fight? It was easy for him to say. He had nothing to lose. Well I assumed so anyway...Maybe I was just as bad as everyone else who judged him. A little pang of guilt hit me. I didn’t want to become like the girls who chased me or the teachers that mocked me. I wasn’t going to judge him just because he was different. After all, he tried to help the only way he knew how. I knew deep down that he was right too. I wasn’t going to show this school how miserable it made me. Maybe taking his advice into consideration wasn’t such a bad idea.

It was days before I saw him again. Occasionally, I would catch him in the hallway but we didn’t have a chance to speak face to face. That was until I had been cornered again by the same girls. It was a chorale of taunts, poking, and prodding; using their cowardice to place us behind the school where no one would see us. The main culprit was a senior who looked down at me in disdain with the most sinister of smiles on her lips. She was the one who screamed the loudest as if I could respond to the words that cut into me. I tried covering my ears to block her out but her shrill voice surpassed my blockade. My blood was boiling and I could feel my body shaking. Adachi’s advice kept creeping into my mind. Just fight. Just Fight. JUST FIGHT.

“Hey!” The deep voice cut through the screaming and made us all freeze. Our attention turned to Adachi who was standing just a few feet away, glaring at the girls surrounding me. Their demeanor changed in seconds and while their so called “leader” was distracted i closed my eyes and swung. I felt something connect with my fist and a rush of pain sped up my arm. My hand was trembling and when I opened my eyes I saw the splatters of red that stained her white uniform blouse.

“Oh shit.” I whispered in disbelief.

She held her nose and screamed in pain. Before my mind could even react further, Adachi grabbed me by my arm and started running. I struggled to keep up with his long strides, taking no time to look behind us to see if they had begun to follow. Hopefully Adachi had scared them off enough to keep them at bay. It seemed like forever until we stopped beside a nearby convenience store, panting and doubling over as we tried to catch our breaths. Suddenly Adachi burst into laughter, scaring the crap out of me. I had barely heard him speak let alone laugh before. It was...sweet albeit still a little frightening.

“I can’t believe you actually decked her in the face!”

“W-well she wouldn’t shut up! I was tired of hearing her scream and i didn’t even understand what she was saying! I don’t know what the fuck her problem is." I took a deep death and adjusted my uniform. "Thank you though. You kinda saved me back there.”

“I mean you probably would’ve gotten your ass kicked. And with the way you punched, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.” His eyes darted down to my fist that ached and was starting to bruise. “You punch with the flats of your fingers, not your knuckles. That’s gonna swell. At least you still probably broke her nose..”

“Great. I have no idea how I’m going to hide this from my parents.”

“Time to chop your hand off and say it was a random Yakuza attack.”

I stared at him, my eyes going wide for a second. “Did you...did you just make a joke?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stood up a little straighter. “Just because people piss me off doesn’t mean that I can’t actually laugh. I’m not a robot or a serial killer.”

“So you heard those rumors?” I asked softly.

He shrugged. “It’s whatever. Sometimes I go along with it just to get people off my back. Anyway, might as well go inside and get you something cold to keep the swelling down. Stay here.”

I watched his back as the automatic doors parted and he walked in. I rested against the brick wall, trying not to think about the pain in my hand. I uncurled my fingers slowly and tried forming the fist again. It wasn’t easy but nothing seemed to be broken either. My knuckles were now a grisly blue-violet and the swelling was starting to become noticeable. I sighed and glanced down at my watch, impatiently waiting for Adachi’s return. It only took a few more minutes before i saw his tuft of black hair reappear. He held out a frozen bag of peas for me to take while i gave him a puzzled look.

“It’s the only thing they had. Just take it.”

I took the pack and held it on my hand. it made me wince but also provided a little relief. "Thanks. Do you think I could hide this from my parents?"

"No way in hell. Just keep an ice pack on it and try not to use it too much."

"You sound like an expert on this." I grumbled.

"Yeah, well," He looked away from me and returned his hands to his pockets. "I've had my fair share of busted knuckles. Anyway, do you need me to walk you home or are you cool?"

Walk me home? That wasn't something I expected from him. "Do you really want to?"

"I mean I asked for a reason, dumbass."

"Hey! Don't be a jerk! I just...I've never been walked home before and I know it's kinda a big deal here."

He shrugged. "I don't think so. This isn’t some anime romance. I just want to make sure those bitches aren't after you. It'd be hell if they found out where you lived."

He had a point. I was already harassed at school, I wasn't prepared to be harassed at home as well. "Ok, that sounds good."

He grabbed my briefcase that I barely had time to escape with and held his hand out in front of him. "Lead the way."

We walked side by side, mostly quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what kind of conversation i should even start. I wanted to know more about him but something told me he was a closed book. I chewed on my lip, overthinking and getting anxious. "You know, i don't even know your name." He said, suddenly.

Oh, that's right. We had never formally introduced ourselves. I told him my name and realized I had to figure out the proper honorific for him. "Wait, should I call you Adachi-kun. Or Adachi-sempai? Are you even older than me? Is it Adachi-san?"

"Just call me Yuto. No honorifics. I don't care about that. It's just some authoritative bullshit."

"You're really one hell of a guy, you know that?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

There was a faint tint of rose to his cheeks, so much so that I thought I had imagined it. He looked away and scoffed. "Tch, whatever. Just keep telling me where to go."

I smiled to myself as we turned a corner. Yuto might have a secret soft spot that I was dying to pry into more. Occasionally, I was able to drum up something else to talk about. I was curious as to why he got into trouble so much but instead tried to see what kind of things he liked. It boiled down to eating and sleeping - very profound hobbies. He seemed more interested in me and once I finally got him talking I realized he wouldn't stop. His tone was still serious but I think it was mostly on account of how deep his voice was. I didn't expect him to be so talkative but it actually felt like I finally had a friend here.

A few weeks later, Yuto was supposed to meet me near my house to walk me to school. We had made a habit of walking together almost every day. It didn't matter if we were silent or talked about what happened at school or I scolded him for being a delinquent, our conversations made me totally happy and it was the one thing I looked forward to each day. This morning in particular, though, he wasn't at our usual meet up spot. I waited for a few minutes, wondering if he was caught up somewhere. It was getting dangerously close to first bell and our consequences for being late were going to be extreme. When I called him he didn’t answer which made my mind jump to conclusions and worry immediately. Taking a chance, I sprinted in the direction of the school as a gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right.

As I got closer to the school I could hear a scuffle in the nearest alleyway, close to the convenience store we had stopped back when I had hurt my fist. I saw him against the wall, facing off against two idiots. His briefcase had been tossed to the floor, it's contents spilling out and I was afraid that would happen to his guts as well as one of the attackers was holding a knife. There was no mistaking the shine that spiked across it from the morning sun. They were dressed in uniforms from a school I didn’t recognize- I had no idea who they were and I didn’t care. I was hell bent on returning the favor to Yuto from when he saved me.

"Hey!" I yelled. All attention was turned to me instantly.

"Get out of here!" Yuto said. "It's too dangerous!"

"Oh, is that your little girlfriend?" One of the bigger boys said smugly.

The knife holder rolled the weapon in his palm, adding to its already present intimidation. My heart was pounding in my ears as my eyes zeroed in on it. Adrenaline was building inside me, the same feelings of needing to fight back taking over from when I had punched my own bully. Fear was still ever present of course. I didn’t stand a chance with actually fist fighting them and they had the upper hand anyway. I could die. Yuto could die. It was risky and the odds were too stacked against us. I had to try though, anything was worth a shot if I could save him. It was the first thing that popped into my head and instead of swinging my fist i sent my leg flying up between his. With how hard I had struck him it felt like my shin had connected straight with his pelvic bone. Pain filled my calf but i was sure it wasn’t as strong as what he was feeling. The knife clanged to the ground as he crumpled along with it, holding himself as he groaned in pain. Yuto picked up the knife at lighting speed and managed to shove the other boy against the wall, pressing the blade to his neck. His tone was full of spite and anger and though he was speaking too fast for me to understand I could feel the fiery intent behind every syllable. Whatever it was, it scared the other guy into picking up his friend and dragging themselves away like wounded dogs. Yuto tossed the knife to the ground and before I could even ask if he was okay he grabbed onto my shoulders and shook me roughly.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You could've gotten hurt! Don't ever do that again!"

"I-im sorry!! I just-! You were in trouble and I didn’t know what else to do! I didn’t want you to get hurt either! I panicked!”

“You’re such an airhead sometimes! What would’ve happened if you had gotten stabbed, huh?! I cant...I can’t lose you...:” His voice softened at the end, so low that I could barely hear it. I didn’t expect him to be this emotional. Though we were good friends and shared laughs, Yuto was still blocked off when it came to deeper emotions. He was even more reserved when it came to affection but in this moment he pulled me to his chest and squeezed me as tight as he could. It shocked me completely, so much so that I didn’t even think to reciprocate the hug. I just stood there like an idiot as I felt every inch of his warmth flowing over me. It was so utterly comforting and something I didn’t think i needed throughout my time here in Japan but it seemed to heal all wounds. Eventually, it clicked in my head to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him just as tight. It felt so good and I didn’t want us to ever separate but he was the first to pull away. "Sorry I wasn't there to walk you to school."

"That doesn't matter now, idiot." I reached up and whacked my palm into his forehead gently. “Besides i’m pretty sure first bell already rang. I’m going to get into so much trouble. My parents are going to kill me when they find out and I really really realllllyyy don’t want to do detention. Is it as bad as they say it is?”

“I don’t know, i never did my detentions.” He said with a devious smile. “But I guess that just means we’ll have to skip entirely.”

“Are you insane!? That will get me into even more trouble! That’s the opposite of what I need!”

“Aww come on, live a little. You don’t always have to play by the rules. Sometimes it’s fun to break them. Besides, one day of skipping isn’t going to hurt you.”

"Adachi Yuto, are you saying I should become a juvenile delinquent just like you?"

"Hell yeah."

We laughed, harder than we should of knowing the prospect of me getting in trouble loomed over us. Though I was scared of the consequences, the idea of spending the entire day with him released thousands of budding seeds of romance that I hadn’t really known had been inside me. Sure, i would notice his tender eyes and smile that lit up my entire world like the first sunrise but I didn’t think I had a crush on him! Or rather I ignored every single one of those feelings because I knew he wouldn’t be interested in me. It was a secret I had been harboring for fear of rejection and making our entire relationship weird. With a day of endless possibilities ahead of us I hoped that I could keep my secret and remain stoic. I slipped out of my overthinking and looked up at him. "Ok, I guess you convinced me enough. I’ll play hooky but just this once!”

“Whoa, really? I didn’t think you had it in you.” He nudged my arm playfully.

“I’m nervous but spending a day with you sounds much more exciting than listening to lectures that make my brain feel like its frying.”

“I’m excited to spend the day with you too…” His cheeks flushed then and he took a step back from the closeness leftover from our hug. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his weight on his feet. “Uh, I mean, um...like-uh...What would you want to do?”

"What do you normally do when you skip?" I asked.

"Get some snacks at the store then sit at home and watch One Piece reruns."

"Are you serious?" I giggled. "That's what Mr. "Serial Killer" does?"

"Hey! It’s relaxing! Sometimes I doze off, sometimes I do other stuff. It’s nice!”

“I’ve never watched One Piece before. Is it good?”

“Is it-? It’s AMAZING! It’s basically like the greatest anime of all time. Oh my god, we have to watch it now. We’re not doing anything else.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What have I gotten myself into?!” I laughed. “Oh, wait. Your stuff.” We both dropped to the ground and started picking up the scattered contents of his bag. My eyes rested on a sketchpad that laid open, the pages now slightly torn and dirty but I could see precise linework and expressions the drawings held.

"Did you draw these?" I asked.

He snatched the book away from me and snapped it shut. "Nevermind this. It's nothing."

"Yuto, I think they were really nice."

"No, it's seriously nothing. Forget about it."

I set my hand on his shoulder and softened my voice. "You know you don't have to be embarrassed around me."

"I'm not-" He sighed. "I'm not embarrassed really. I just don't think I'm good."

"Of course you're good. They're amazing and I think you're talented."

"Really?"

"Has no one ever told you that before?" I asked.

"No…"

"Well I'm telling you now, ok? And I mean it."

Our eyes met and a slow shy smile creeped onto his face. He turned away instantly and mumbled some sort of thanks as he worked to stuff everything back in the bag. "Appreciate it."

I stood up and dusted my knees off. "What are friends for anyway?" I extended my hand to help him up which he took.

"Friends...yeah…"

"Wanna get those snacks now?"

He only nodded, retreating back to those simple answers I was used to. I held onto his arm as we walked, looking up at him every so often. It was starting to get harder and harder to ignore the feelings that kept trying to surface every time i was with him. I wished they would just disappear already. With him so close to me now i could feel my heart pounding. It got even worse when i felt his hand overwhelm mine suddenly. He was tugging me in the direction of the store but i couldnt take my eyes off our interlocked fingers. They were so warm and long, absolutely beautiful. I could just imagine the way he held a pencil while sketching his favorite characters. I wanted to watch him do what he loved the most. He lead me across the street and to the doors of the convenience store while i stayed wrapped in my head. It wasn’t until he asked me what i wanted that i snapped out of it. I looked around at some of the pre-made food trying to decipher what the labels said and what i could infer from what the food looked like. I was indecisive between a chicken or pork bento and but figured that Yuto would be able to help me decide.

I found him a few aisles over, bent over and looking at cell phone charms like he was trying to make a decision himself. “What are you looking at?”

He straightened up quickly and almost jumped when he saw me. “Oh, uh...nothing.”

I looked over the charms, noticing that they were of popular Sanrio characters. “These are so cute. Are you gonna get one?”

“What? Me? No way! I was looking at them for my...sister! For my sister, yeah. She likes Kerropi so…”

“Really? I like Cinnamaroll. He’s the cutest little thing ever.”

Yuto picked up both a Kerropi and Cinnamaroll charm. “I could get it for you if you want.” He said with a sheepish smile.

“You dont have to do that.” I giggled. “It’s more important that your sis-”

Suddenly, the store owner sped towards Yuto, yelling loudly and tugging at his uniform shirt. He was trying to shove Yuto out, accusing him of being a no good thief and that he should be in school. Yuto showed his empty pockets and held his bag out to be inspected but the shop owner wasn’t listening. Yuto turned to me. “Look, fuck this guy. I’ll just wait for you outside, ok?”

“But you havent done anything wrong! I dont understand why-”

“Doesnt matter. He just sees me as a punk kid because i’ve come in here a little banged up before. I’ll wait for you, ok?”

I didn’t have a say in what he was going to do so i didn’t waste my breath. I watched as he set the keychains down and left the store, the owner still yelling after him. I rushed to pay for everything and get back to him. I was riddled with anger and wanted to leave as soon as possible. “That pissed me off so fucking much.” I huffed.

Yuto shrugged and began walking in the direction of his home. “Don’t waste your energy on it. I’m used to it. You and I are a lot more alike than I thought. People shit on us for being so different and they dont even take the time to get to know us. If someone actually cares about me then they’ll show it. Those are the only people I can trust.”

“Do you think you can trust me?” I asked.

“I know I can trust you. You’re the only one who’s given me the time of day and didn’t think I was automatically an asshole. You talked to me and saw me as a person. I’m glad I met you.”

I stared down at my feet, hoping he wouldnt see the blossoming shyness spread across my entire face. I clutched at his arm as we walked, softly speaking. “I’m glad I met you too. You’re my best friend, Yuto.”

“I never thought I would have a best friend...or any friends for that matter.”

“Like you said, you don’t need anyone who doesn’t care about you. It’s us against the world.” It seemed a bit dramatic to say but it truly felt that way. There was no one that i felt could come between us or anything for that matter.

We arrived at Yuto’s home, a worn down small box with tattered screen doors. It shocked me but I didn’t want to say anything. I couldn’t be disrespectful but i was concerned more than anything. “Sorry it’s not fancy like your place.”

“I don’t care about what it looks like, i just want to make sure you’re ok.”

He stayed quiet as he opened the door which worried me further. Inside there were two cramped rooms, one of which was of course Yuto’s. He guided us in and sat against the wall, facing an old square tv that looked like it was salvaged from a junk yard. I sat beside him and set the bag of food down between us. “You forgot to take off your shoes when we came in.”

I immediately looked at my feet. “Oh my god! I’m sorry!” I rushed to take off my loafers but Yuto just chuckled.

“It’s fine, just set them by the bedroom door. I don’t mind.” I set them beside the door while he turned on the small tv, banging it a few times until a clear picture formed. He flicked through the channels until he found the one that showed One Piece. I pulled out the food I had gotten us and handed him a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks.

“So,” I began. “Judging from your house set up you don’t have a sister, do you?”

He stilled for a moment then sighed. “Is this about the phone charm?”

I pulled out both charms from the shopping bag and held the Kerropi one out to him. “Now we can match. It kind of seems silly but I think it’s cute.” I pulled out my flip phone and threaded the charm through the small hole at the bottom then looked over at him. “Do you not like it?”

Yuto looked over at me, staring at me until nervousness settled in my stomach, almost making nausea hit me like a train. He inched forward, still leaving me to be an unsuspecting mess while his lips fell onto mine. My eyes widened and i completely froze. I had no idea what to do. This was my first kiss ever and it was with my best friend! Before i could even get my thoughts straight, it was over and we were back to being face to face and unsure of everything that transpired. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.

“W-what? I don’t understand…”

“i-I’ve liked you for some time now but...I wasn’t sure how you would feel. I just...i don’t know. I just felt like i shouldve kissed you. I was too afraid to tell you that I liked you. I thought you wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

“Why would you even think that? I spend all this time with you. I trust you and im happy to see you every day. You’re the best part of my shitty life. And i want to spend it with you.” I settled my hand over his and was the one who leaned in this time, smiling as he grabbed onto my shoulder and held our kiss a little longer. We were lost in our own little world and I could finally be happy in this foreign place.

Suddenly the door slid open, barreling into the door frame and rattling it. Hovering above us was a man who looked just like Yuto, who I could only assume was his father. He was instantly yelling at us and Yuto scrambled to his feet, pulling me up with him. “You need to leave now!!”

“Yuto! What’s going on!?”

“Now!!!” He managed to shove me between the small gap in the door frame and his father. I grabbed my shoes quickly and tried to slip them on but his father was closing in on me as if i was a deadly target. Yuto grabbed onto his arm and i heard a hard thud against his jaw. I screamed after him, hating to see him hurt and wanting to obliterate his father but i was powerless to stop him. I couldn’t take him down or prevent him from hurting the person who I cared about the most. All i could do was stand in horror while Yuto screamed at me to leave. Tears were rolling down my face as i sped out of the home and towards my own. That was the last time I saw him.

The streets were bustling, the summer air thick and heavy. Thousands of people crowding the sidewalk didn’t provide any relief either. Lights were flashing everywhere; neon, iridescent, and beckoning. I had no idea what I even wanted to do tonight. A club, a bar, a cafe? I hadn’t been back in a decade- everything seemed new again. Nerve wracking and exciting. I wanted to make new memories. Memories that wouldn’t haunt me and instead make me happy. I wanted to think of Japan as my home away from home. Right now she was still a stranger. I could only see her through the eyes of tourist, which I absolutely hated but it was a start. That’s how I ended up following the crowd, wondering where it would take me. Wreckless? Yes, absolutely. My japanese was still rusty even though I tried my best to pick it up again. Getting lost still and not being able to communicate weighed heavy on my mind. The sense of adventure outweighed my fright and I carried on, looking for my next stop.

My eyes got lost in the crowd every once in awhile, observing the school girls, the punks, the lolitas, and regular office people ebbing and flowing. One particular person caught my eye- he was towering over most everyone, cell phone to his ear. That was when I saw it, a dangling charm nudging across his wrist as he walked. It looked worn, faded, the bright green now a washed out chartreuse. I swallowed hard. It couldn’t be. Of course not. The chances were too miniscule. Besides, Keroppi wasn’t that much of a popular character but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. Just maybe it could be. I was about to embarrass myself but it was worth a shot.

“Adachi!” I screamed over the roar of the crowd. His head whipped around and my heart stopped. People moved past us and we remained several feet apart. He didn’t look like the Yuto I remembered. He was bigger, definitely. His biceps were struggling to stay beneath his short sleeves, his black denim vest staying open wide against his broad chest and shoulders. His arms were covered fully in tattoos and for a minute I thought I had made a mistake. That was until he speed towards me, his long legs carrying him in quick strides, closing the space between us in seconds. He said my name in that all too familiar honey smooth baritone that made me want to drop to my knees. It sounded deeper than it had in high school, carrying the weight of the unspoken things we wanted to do as teenagers. I looked up at him, a smile forming on both our faces before he squeezed me tight to his tall frame.

“Holy fucking shit!! I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here?” He exclaimed. His eyes still remained in a state of disbelief as he looked me over.

My hands rested on his biceps as I still didn’t want to pull away completely. “I-i’m here on vacation. I haven’t been back in years. I wanted to come back and...and make better memories I guess. I never thought I would see you again. Or that you would remember me.” My voice trailed off a bit at the end.

“How could I ever forget you?” The words took me by surprise, as well as his laugh after. “You had the biggest crush on me, remember?!”

I rolled my eyes, pretending playfully that the statement wasn’t true. “You wouldn’t leave me alone and I always had to take care of you because you were a pain in the ass! Always getting into trouble. All I did for that year was clean blood off you with all the fights you got into. Besides you had a crush on me too!!”

“What can I say, you like those bad boy types, don’t you?” He shifted his weight a bit and let out a small chuckle. “What are you doing right now? Going someplace special?”

I shook my head, gently moving him out of the way of the main part of the crowd. He leaned against a street sign as I stayed close to him. “Nothing really. I thought I’d just come here and see what I could find. I got tired of doing tourist shit during the day. I wanted to do something better.”

“You came here alone?” He asked and I nodded. “That’s pretty ballsy for you. Last time I checked your Japanese was shit.”

“Thanks, Asshole.” I replied in his native tongue and he threw back his head and laughed.

“I think I taught you that one.”

“You did, and now I can use it against you...Also you still have Keroppi.”

His deep brown eyes flew to his cell phone that was clutched in his hand, the slightest tinge of pink decorating his cheeks. He kinda shrugged and didn’t say anything. I smiled and dug into my small purse, pulling out my own cell phone. I held it up to him so he could see the cinnamaroll charm I too had dangling from my phone. It had long lost it’s complete white color, instead getting dirty from it’s time at the bottom of my bag or from being stuffed into the pocket of my jeans. “You’re kidding?” He said, his expressing changing completely. “Why do you still have that?!”

“Why do you still have Keroppi?” I shot back.

He looked away for a moment, pretending to stretch as his free hand rested on the back of his neck. “I...well...I missed what we had...and I was angry that you had left. I didn’t have it on my phone for awhile and I guess...I don’t know really.”

I stared down at my feet. I had never gotten to tell him the reason why I had left so abruptly. I had never wanted to leave him behind, not after everything we had shared together. But i was ripped away from Japan almost as soon as I was implanted there. “I never forgot about you.” I confessed. “I want to apologize for leaving and not getting a chance to say goodbye.”

He shrugged again, trying to keep up his nonchalant facade. “Forget it. It’s cool. You’re here now, so...you wanna go to a bar with me? We’ll drink some beer and get some food.”

“Hell yeah. I haven’t eaten in a bit. Where are you thinking?”

“There’s a spot in Shibuya that’s by my place. We can go there.”

“Perfect. Lead the way.”

He nodded in the direction of the train station and I followed him, holding onto his arm tightly so I wouldn’t lose him again.

I tossed back the rest of my third beer almost spitting it out when Yuto brought up another fond memory. “Remember when I made you watch One Piece for the first time and you just had this look on your face like ‘What the absolute fuck?’”

I nodded before swallowing. “I had never watched anime a day in my life. Well I guess Pokemon counts. And Yu-Gi-Oh. But I never did much after. But here you were a secret nerd, drawing in your little sketchbook and wanting to be a famous manga-ka.”

“Yeah, I tossed that shit out when I dropped out of high school.” He sipped on his beer licking the foam from his lips. He picked up his chopsticks, turning the meat on the grill between us so it wouldn’t burn. “Hung around some people I shouldn't have, went to jail for a bit, discovered tattooing and here I am now.”

“Yuto Adachi! You’re insane. What did you go to jail for? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

He reclined back in his seat and took another swig of his beer. “Petty theft, a few other misdemeanors. Nothing serious. It’s whatever. What did you do, princess? After you left…”

I chewed on an already cooked piece of beef, opening my mouth in between bites to try and cool the burning sensation in my mouth. I swallowed after a minute of chewing and sighed. “My parents died. That’s why I left. It was some freak accident on the plane ride back home. They were going back just for a few days for some medical convention thing. And well...I couldn’t stay here on my own so I got taken back to live with my grandparents.”

“Fuck.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Shit happens. I couldn’t do anything about it. I miss them everyday but time moves on. We move on. But that’s basically why I didn’t say goodbye. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even get a chance to breathe.”

We fell into a heavy silence. Only the sizzling of meat on the grill and the raucous patrons interrupting it. I looked over at him, seeing him watching me, and I felt bad for ruining the mood. “Sorry to be such a downer.” I tried to laugh it off a bit but it was definitely forced.

“Don’t be. Like you said shit happens. You’re here now, right? Dynamic duo back together again. I’ll show you better stuff than that tourist shit.” He split the rest of the beer he had in his glass between us then held it up for me to clink mine against. “Kanpai.”

I repeated the saying and we both swallowed back the golden liquid. “Anyway, after I went back, i finished high school, went to college. Got an office job. You know.”

“Wow, living the boring ass American dream, huh? You got a scrawny white boyfriend to go along with that?”

“Yuto!” I chucked an end piece of beef at him, watching it bounce of his chest and into his lap. He tossed it into his mouth and laughed.

“What? Asians do it better I’m just saying.” He finished off his beer, a smirk resting on his lips as he drank. His eyes locked onto mine and i couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto my face.

“I’ve been free from your annoying ass for years and this is what I get as soon as I come back? Wonderful.”

He rested his elbows on the table leaning towards me a little. “You can get a little more. It’s early, there’s still plenty to do.”

“Like what? You gonna take me to some like kinky Japanese sex club?” I joked.

“If you want to. I have no problem with that. What kinks are you into?”

“Oh my god, i was joking!” I hid my face behind my hands to try and cover up how much redder it was getting. All Yuto did was laugh at me, making me even more embarrassed.

“Me too, I’ll take you to my shop if you want. I got some of my guys there working but I wouldn’t mind taking you to see it.”

“Your shop? Like you own it?”

“Yep. Why? You don’t think I could be a successful business man?” He laughed.

“No...no. I mean...I’m proud of you. Look at you having your shit together, Adachi.”

“Hah! Barely. That’s a fun thought though.” He stood up from his chair and nodded at me to head over to the cashier for us to check out. He pushed my hand away when I offered to pay and instead handed over his card. I didn’t protest much, pretending that i didn’t enjoy free food or when men paid for it. We exited the restaurant and started walking down the streets that were less crowded in the area. All of our careless times together came up. The laughs we had over watching variety shows and anime together in his dark, hole in the wall bedroom. The few times our hands intertwined and the barely there kisses we were too afraid to ever mention. Yuto had always made my heart pound and even now there wasn’t a difference. I watched as he pressed a cigarette between his lips stopping just for a second to light it. I would be definitely pretending if I said that I wasn’t attracted to his bad boy persona. The way he carried himself- defensive yet protective, angry yet passionate, rough yet sensitive, all of those feelings from the past kept rushing back.

When we arrived at his shop there were a few customers towards the back, only separated by small wall barriers. The rest of his crew were in front, laughing over a few beers and practically cheering when he came in. He greeted them with hand slaps and awkward bro hugs while i surveyed the shop. It was cute. The setup seemed more personal rather than stuck up and like a doctor’s office. I overheard some of the guys talking about me, saying not so subtle pervy statements which Yuto shut down immediately. I pretended like I didn’t know a damn thing and let Yuto take my hand and steer me away from them. “Sorry, they’re all idiots.”

I shrugged, laughing a bit. “Don’t worry, I’m just the stupid foreigner. I’m none the wiser.”

“C’mon, don’t say that. You know I don’t think of you that way.” He kissed the back of my hand, deterring my quip. “Do you want to see my office?”

“Yeah, let me see where you work your magic.”

He unlocked a door to the left of us and lead me in. The space was much wider than the rest of the tattooing area and covered in framed artwork that he had done. He had only improved since years past, creating perfect masterpieces of contrasting light, crisp lines, and delicate details. It took my breath away. “Holy fuck.” Was the only way I could of expressing myself.

“What?” He chuckled. “Are the walls too full Does it seem claustrophobic?”

“No, i was actually amazed by your art. You’ve gotten even better since high school. They’re so good.”

“Ehh, it’s nothing fancy. Just kind of how I like to center myself, better than getting in trouble. My office is like my home away from home. Even though my apartment is above the shop.”

I circled around the tattooing bed and peeked into his cabinets of supplies. “Have you ever...fucked anyone here?” I asked cheekily.

“What? No way! One, that’s not sterile. Two, i could lose my license. Three, that’s just gross. Besides, I’m not an out in the open kind of guy. If i’m going to do something it sure as hell wouldnt be in here. Don’t be a perv.”

“I’m joking!” I hit his chest playfully. “I’m just curious about the man you’ve become.”

“What kind of man do you think I am?”

I plastered myself against one of the undecorated walls and stared down at my feet. “I don’t know. I know you’re still caring. And still a trouble maker. And...possibly still a good kisser too.”

“A good kisser? I barely knew what I was doing when we first kissed!”

“It was still nice! It was soft and slow. I liked that.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter of his supply space. “Do you...want to maybe find out if i’ve improved?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. We’re bad at flirting.” We both smiled as he stepped closer to me, cupping my face in his hand. He was slow to lower his lips to mine but when he did i clutched onto his shirt, pulling him flush against me. I was crushed between him and the wall, not protesting at all as I liked how strong and sturdy he felt. It was only mere seconds before our kiss got hungrier, deeper, and filled with long overdue moans that drove us wild. We only broke apart to catch our breaths that felt like they had been held for ages.

“Wow…” I whispered.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Definitely still good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in for another round. His large hands grabbed onto my waist, gripping as tightly as he could and accidentally crashed us into the counter. I felt the corner jab into my back and winced in pain. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Shit! Sorry! Sorry!” He looked around the still tight space. “This isn’t going to work out. Do you maybe want to go upstairs? To my place?”

I smiled a big lovey dovey dopey smile, all giggles and giddiness at the prospect of us finally being together. I nodded quickly and he grabbed onto my hand, pulling me out of the office. We tried to slip away as quietly as we could to Yuto’s apartment, not wanting to let his coworkers see us leave though a few teasing whistles followed us as we went up the flight of stairs. When we arrived at the door, he smoothly set the key in the lock and turned it. His hands weren't shaking at all but it felt like my entire body was rattling in anticipation. Once inside I could barely see as the apartment was so dark. Only haphazardly thrown city lights that fell through the window illuminating the sparsely decorated space. The lack of light didn't bother me much as I would much rather feel my way over his body. I expected him to take control, maybe push me up against the door or wall, pick me up and toss me on the bed, but he just stood there.

His weight shuffled between each foot as his gaze was more occupied by the carpet than me. "Yuto? Are you ok?" I whispered. For some reason it felt like I shouldn't startle him.

"What? Oh, yeah, i-i am…"

"You're not really doing anything...Do you not want to anymore?"

"N-no! No! I do! It's just that…" He sighed and looked like he wanted to shrink away. "I got nervous all of a sudden."

I knew Yuto had a soft side but I felt like he had been so confident back at the restaurant. His nervousness now shocked me. "Nervous? Why?"

"It's been so long. We've...I'm sure we've both wanted this since we were teenagers and now that you're here I don't want to fuck this up."

"What makes you think you will?! Yuto…" I pulled him close to me by his hands. "Yuto...don't think that, ok?" I placed soft kisses on his lips while feeding him comforting words. I didn't want him to feel pressured into perfection. I much preferred us to have a good time and not think about all the events that culminated up to this moment. We never thought that this chance encounter would happen or that we would end up in each other's arms again but now that we were it seemed more like a fantasy than reality. "Just give me you. It's all I want."

He pressed his forehead against mine and held onto my waist once more. "But I want it to be. I want it to be perfect."

"No, don't do that to yourself. I care about us making each other feel good, ok? That's all I want, swear it. Let me make you feel good."

He nodded with a heavy sigh, still a bit tentative. I decided to take over, hoping that catering to him would ease his nerves and spark that bit of confidence in him again. I shifted our positions so that his back was now against the wall as I caressed his chest and covered him in more kisses. Through the desperate battle of our lips I managed to slip my hands under the hem of his shirt and shuffle it upwards. He pulled it off by the collar, tossing it somewhere beside us while I became completely entranced by his toned body. The tight v neck he had worn left nothing to the imagination but seeing every inch of his torso uncovered was much more pleasurable than having a fabric barrier between us.

I worked my hands over every dip and striation in his muscles before lowering myself slowly, winding kissing in a heated trail down to the waistband of his jeans. When I was on my knees looking up at him, he seemed to want to protest. He gripped onto my shoulder and pushed against me ever so slightly. I ignored him, shoving his hand aside, as I busied myself with unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down to the middle of his thighs. With just enough room to expose the front of his underwear, i began to tease him with coy licks through the fabric. He let out a shaky breath as I started to increase the length of my licks flowing over the beginnings of his hardening cock. I felt the tension in his thighs finally dissipate and with him relaxing more I eased my mouth over his head and sucked slowly.

His large hand pressed into the back of my skull, not too rough or hard but enough to signal that he wanted more. I moved his underwear down to rest above his jeans, licking my lips as I saw him. I bit my lip for just a second, thinking of all the possibilities of what he would make me feel. I wanted to see his full potential and with that I wrapped my lips around him once more, guiding him so he filled my mouth. I increased the speed of my sucks, hollowing out my cheeks and gripping his base loosely. His hips worked against me, creating a flowing rhythm that coaxed soft, deep moans from him. His voice was like silk; a sensual melody that made goosebumps spread across my arms. I had always had a secret attraction to his voice but hearing it in this manner had me pressing my thighs together.

His fingertips dug into my scalp as his fingers clenched harder around my hair. His thrusts were becoming greedier as he arched his body from the wall. I looked up at him at the same moment he had happened to look down at me. Though i was hard to flex my occupied mouth into a smile, I was sure he could at least see how much I was beaming. He let out a small gasp and turned away then, shying away again. I released him, licking my lips to clear the saliva linked between us. I fisted my hand over his shaft instead, working tight strokes over his length. “Are you going to be shy all night, Mr. Beefy Tattoo Artist Man?”

“S-shut up.” He grumbled. “I’m not shy…”

I tried to hide my giggle as much as possible, knowing he was trying to keep up his tough act and failing miserably. I gave his tip as quick kiss before I rose to my feet. “I think the blush on your cheeks say otherwise.” I teased as I grabbed his hand. I tugged him forward, working my way through his apartment in search of his bedroom.

He ignored my little taunt and instead guided me in the direction of his room, all while trying to keep his pants up. I opened the door and he let my hand go to head over to the small lamp by his bed. He flicked it on and kicked off his jeans before plopping down on the mattress. He reclined back on his arms, legs slightly open and gave me the once over. “I don’t think it’s fair that you’re still dressed.”

“Oh? You dont?” I chuckled. “Does that mean I should do one of those cheesy strip teases where I toss my bra at you?”

“No way!” A big grin crossed his face as he grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me to stand between his thighs. “You’re such a dork, you know that?.”

I pushed his long jet black bangs away from his face and kissed his forehead. “Well, duh. Wait,” A question suddenly popped into my train of thought. “Do you still watch One Piece?”

“We’re about to fuck and that’s what you ask me?” He said, incredulously.

“I’m just curious! I dont know...I remembered when we were in your room and we were watching it together and I gave you the phone charm. And then we had our first kiss.” I shrugged meekly and buried my head in his chest. I was now tha one who was embarrassed that I had brought up such a dumb question at a time like this.

He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve never forgotten that day. And to answer your question, yes I still do.”

“Is it still on tv?!”

“Not really but the manga continued so i read that online. It’s never gonna stop, I swear. I think theres like over 800 chapters or something.”

“Who goes on that many pirate adventures?! Why in the world would-” I stopped myself as I realized if I kept talking we were going to end up on a tirade about anime. “Sorry, this isn’t really the best dirty talk, huh?”

He smiled and ran his hands over my hips. “Honestly, you’re still turning me on. I’m not that great at dirty talk anyway. I think I sound weird. I like having a nice conversation instead. Takes away from me feeling so tense.” He slipped a couple of fingers beneath my chin, raising my head to feed me a round of kisses. This time they were a bit more gentler, slower even. My heart warmed at his tenderness, fluttering a bit when the tip of his tongue grazed against my bottom lips as if he was asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I parted my lips and leaned into him more. He lowered himself back on the mattress, letting me straddle his hips and give him room to slide his hands beneath my shirt. His brushed his hands up and down my sides, flowing upwards every so often to cup my breasts and knead them within his long fingers. I tried to bite back a small moan but it escaped into his mouth and caused a chain reaction of sensations. His hips bucked up between my thighs and I could feel his hardness against the center of my jeans. His thumbs trapped my nipples in a small and tantalizing pinch and his teeth sunk into my lip and tugged on it slightly.

“Take this off.” He whispered against my jaw that he began to turn his attention to. He grabbed at my shirt and i sat back on his hips, separating us for a moment to pull it over my head. My bra came next, letting me be completely open to stare at. He used his strength to toss me down, hovering over me this time. With my body now more exposed for him, his tongue was much more enthusiastic about sliding over my chest and capturing my nipple between his lips. I eased into a sigh, falling into the bliss of the simplistic movement. His fingers trickled down my stomach before hooking onto the button of my jeans. He flicked it open and slid the zipper down to give space for his hand to fall beneath my panties. I inched my legs apart more and set one hand on the back of his head and the other to hold onto his broad shoulder. I felt his middle finger move between my lower lips, stroking the length of it and coming back to circle around my clit. I breathed out his name as my nails sunk into his skin, trying to ground myself into reality before I lost it completely.

"This ok?" He murmured once his lips left one of my nipples. I found it strange that he was checking in on me- no one had really done that for me before, especially when going so slow.

"Ah...um, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I asked.

He hid behind his bangs that had fallen over his forehead again. "I don't know," he shrugged. "Just figured I'd ask."

"I swear I'm ok. I'm not a delicate flower, you should know that by now." I joked.

"Yeah, don't punch me in the nose please."

"You're the one who taught me how to fight anyway." We smiled as I gripped onto my underwear and jeans and slid them off. "This is better. More room for your big ass hand and long fingers."

"A-ah...well…"

I hooked my leg around his waist and set his hand back between my thighs. "Keep going...please."

He sighed softly and slipped back into his motions, coating his fingers with my cum and working long strokes over me. I wiggled my hips in time with him, creating more heated friction that made my stomach clench. Soon enough he pushed a solitary finger inside, pressing me open just a bit and curling against my sensitive walls. I could feel his eyes raking over me; the way my back arched and hands flowed over my chest. A rumble came from deep within his throat and suddenly I could feel his breath ghosting over my clit. The heat of his tongue enveloped me while his finger still worked away, another one being added to the mix. I moved one of my hands to grip his hair, wanting his tongue to be engraved into my skin. He was cautious with his licks too, easing the tip of his tongue up and down almost in time with his fingers. I had never been blessed with someone as attentive as him. Every detail mattered.

His knuckles nudged against my entrance, signaling that all of the length of his fingers was inside me. The tips of his fingers were circling around an extremely delicate area which made a shrill moan escape me. It was similar to a childish squeak and I didn’t know that I could even make that sound, let alone embarrass myself even further. I felt him chuckle against me in a self satisfactory and smug kind of way. I tugged on his hair as a little payback and instead of a protest I got a little growl from him. Fever washed over me like a torrid wave, flowing with the tease of an orgasm. My thighs clamped around his head, making me feel like I was suffocating him but I couldnt help it. Gone was my sense of coherence as his tongue wiggled its way in beside his fingers and made me lose control. My legs tensed around him tighter, my fingers dug into his scalp, and my breath was completely gone. I felt him tap the side of my thigh as he wanted release. I eased myself down and unlocked my vice grip on him, allowing him to surface again.

“You trying to kill me?” He chuckled as he licked his lips.

“S-sorry.” I panted. “I couldn’t help it!”

He crawled on top of me, only lowering his head for a kiss. “Well, i’m glad you enjoyed it, babe. I could probably get used to suffocating between your thighs anyhow.”

I smushed his head away playfully and turned onto my stomach. "Get out of here!"

"Now who's the shy one?" I felt him work kisses down my spine, swirling patterns into my skin every few vertebrae. His hands smoothed over my hips, gently rubbing over them before cupping my ass.

"I'm not being shy!" I said, slightly muffled by the pillow I was gripping onto. "You're just...hmm…" I tried to wiggle away but he wrapped his arms around my ribcage and held me against his chest. I could feel his hardness poking at the junction of my thighs, teasing me with its subtle throbbing and neediness.

"I'm what?" He squeezed me tighter as he buried his face in my neck, distracting me with pecks.

"You're just...you know...good. You feel good. You feel like how I always dreamt you would." I slid my hand over his and intertwined our fingers tightly.

"I could say the same about you. Though you feel way way way more amazing." He kissed the back of my hand and pulled away for a moment to reach under his bed.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting a condom from my bin, why?"

"Why is it under your bed?!" I nudged him.

"It's my secret stash, okay! Leave me alone." He laughed and sat back up on the bed as he ripped open the foil.

"Who are you keeping secrets from, huh?" I asked as I booped his nose.

"No one! I told you I don’t like being out in the open!" He wrinkled his nose and shifted away from me to pull the condom on.

"Oh? What kind of other stuff you got in there, huh? Let me see!" I dove forward and tried to take a peek under his bed but Yuto grabbed me and pinned me down, using all his weight on top of me.

"Dont be such a pain in the ass!"

I nudged my ass back against him, giving it a little wiggle. "Maybe i like being a pain in the ass!" I teased. It was fun having banter like this. It felt so natural; i was with my best friend after all. We were all too comfortable with each other and that made every passing moment, every giggle, every kiss and squeeze all the better. I was still laughing but Yuto had quieted down. Instead of poking fun, his hands wrapped around my hipbones. He jerked my body onto its knees and i could feel him sliding through the wetness he had created. I pursed my lips, instantly shutting up as my breath stilled. My eyes fluttered shut, closing out the rest of the world and only focusing on him. I could no longer hear the buzzing of tattoo machines downstairs or how loud his coworkers laughed. Yuto's soft whispers of praises were the only thing floating around my head.

He splayed one of his hands on my lower back, adding just a bit of force so i dipped my stomach towards the bed. His other hand nudged between us to line himself up with my awaiting eagerness, guiding his head in. We both sucked in a harsh breath that seemed to be held until he was full seated inside. Neither of us moved; it was as if time had stopped and both of us hadnt changed. "Y-you ok?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Ye-yeah. It's fine. Totally fine." I looked back at him over my shoulder. "Go ahead and move.”

He nodded, accepting my permission. His thighs wedged between my own, forcing my legs apart wider. He pulled back, readying his first thrust and when he returned it was like i could feel every inch within the pit of my stomach. My fingers clenched around the pillow as I was stunned by how deep he was getting. Even with such little time connected together I could feel my nerves rocketing under my skin. Something about the way his hands seemingly never wanted to leave my body or the way he kept forcing my hips back against him to keep the perfect rhythm between us was making me a frenzied mess. Every slam of my ass against his hips was like heaven, which seemed silly for me to say. The past men in my life were selfish and nothing to brag about. But with Yuto it was like he was worshiping me, treating me like a queen who deserved to feel nothing but pleasure.

I shuddered when I felt his lips ghost over my spine. He kissed each vertebrae as he made his way up towards my neck when his lips resided against my ear. The softness of his labored breaths filled my eardrum and made me freeze under him. “I cant believe you feel this good.” His voice was trembling slightly as he worked through his thrusts, his bashfulness surfacing again. He had pockets of confidence but more waves of shyness which was how he always was. A defender and fighter for me and for himself but the softest angel beneath. Perhaps that was what made me fall in love in the first place.

“Years of thinking about you just like this probably gave me some practice.” I chortled but still was completely serious.

“You thought about me when you touched yourself?” He asked, astonished.

“Almost always, though it was a bit hard to picture what you looked like as an adult. I was able to still imagine what you would feel like. But you beat my expectations.” I bit onto my bottom lip as i rolled myself back against him, the tip of his cock teasing the beginnings of my entrance just a bit.

“You thought about the way I’d feel right here?” His hand pressed against my lower stomach, pairing with a swift thrust. “Or maybe here?” He traversed lower to circle the pads of his fingertips over my clit bringing a sharp gasp out of me. I nodded, pathetically admitting more to my dirty little secret that only seemed to entice him more. “I like that...:” His deep voice was accompanied by a long lick to the shell of my ear. His teeth dug into the tender cartilage, a hidden turn on of mine. His movements became stronger and it felt as if the bed was shifting beneath us. I pulled the pillow taught against my chest, clutching onto it for dear life as if it would keep me grounded and hold out long enough for a full explosion of desire. Through his sturdy plunges his fingers remained giving attention to my sensitive bud, a bit haphazard but still focused enough to make my toes plant themselves into the mattress. I brought my hand down to cover his, guiding him into the motions that I wanted a bit better. All the attention was making me a puddle of lust that was ready to dive headfirst into losing control.

“Yuto.” I whimpered. “P-please…”

He stopped suddenly and pulled away before shifting me onto my back. He grabbed my jaw firmly, forcing me to look at him. “I want to see you when you do.”

My eyes widened in surprise as his erotic statement, never expecting him to utter such a thing. A small smirk crossed his lips which folded over mine, prying into my mouth and bringing our tongues together. He shifted himself to fall back into my heat while his hand left my face and tangled our fingers together. I squeezed his hand and wrapped my legs around his torso as beads of sweat formed at my temples. He was everything I needed in this moment, or rather my life but i wasnt sure how to face those feelings yet. In two weeks I would leave but now I had a reason to stay. I couldn’t leave for fear of not seeing him for another ten years. Tears prickled behind my eyelids and i tried to will them away. I couldn’t be enveloped by sadness when i was the happiest i’ve ever been.

Yuto left my lips with a small nibble and moved his kisses down to my chest. He infused the valley between my breasts with rushed presses, shifting to wraps his lips around my nipple again and suck deeply. My body arched into his, falling into temptation as my thighs squeezed his torso. His free hand cupped my other breast, pinching the nipple to life. I wrapped my arm under his, my fingers extending over the muscles that rippled beneath his skin with every thrust he made. The swelling of his hardness only stretched me further, making me clamp down and force him to work through the tightness. His lips left my chest only to utter my name in a staggered breath. He lifted his head to see my eyes flutter close. His thumb returned to my clit, more vigorous in its fevered circles but not having to work long before i gave in. Everything rushed out of me; tension, my orgasm, my breath, his name. It was all gone in seconds and his gaze never left me. He placed a kiss on my forehead before burying himself in my neck.

He slipped his arm across my lower back, lifting my hips while i propped myself on my elbows. He rutted his hips in rough circles, gaining speed as he got closer to his own orgasm. Him fucking me just like this was a perfect contrast to us making love and the most delicious ending to our night. I held his head against my neck, nesting my fingers in his hair and assuring him that I wanted him to cum for me, cum hard and cum fast. His hold on me tightened and i was suddenly filled with heat spreading within me. We stayed together for a bit, holding onto each other before the fatigue set in big time. Slowly, we eased onto our backs, laying beside one another with our hands still being held between us.

“Damn,” Yuto chuckled. “You’re making me wish you could stay here forever.”

The sad realization returned and i let go of him to try and distance the feelings that were wedged between us. “I’m only here for two weeks…”

“Yeah? Well at least that’s two weeks of us...you know.” He gave me a wink but noticed my somber demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

“Yuto, I…” I took a deep breath and barely wanted to exhale. “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. During the decade we were apart I tried to love other people but you were always in the back of my mind. I’m not sure if it was the same for you but now that we’ve somehow met again I don’t know what to do. When i go back home I’ll just miss you again.”

“I didn’t really want to think about this because it hurts too much. I don’t know what to do either. I want you here but we both have lives in different parts of the world. I can’t ask you to up and leave just to be with me. And i have my business here.”

“We’d be so far apart. What if I don’t see you again for another decade?” I sniffled.

“Babe,” He sighed and pulled me to him. “I won’t let that happen. Not again. Our parents aren’t hovering above us anymore. We’re free now. It will be hard but...if you want it then let’s do it.”

“I do want it but...i’m scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Of losing you. I have no idea when I’ll see you again.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” He said. “Remember how I fought for you all those years ago? Nothing’s changed. I wont ever let you go.”

#yuto adachi #yuto #yuto smut #pentagon #pentagon smut #yuto pentagon #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fanfiction

249 notes · View notes

queenjunoking · 4 years

Text

Wolf Taming Pt 15

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping - Manipulation

Sasha was giving me a wary look. I couldn’t blame her. But I wanted to start the morning by getting her as off balance as possible. A simple question that would shape the day.

"Well? Speak." The silence was going on for a bit too long.

"Why? I see you upgraded this prison last night and now you're offering to let me see the outside. Are you actually capable of feeling guilty? Trying to make amends for what you've been doing?" Sasha was already in a mood. I had hoped that getting at least a full night's rest would make her less irritable.

"That's a lot of words for a yes or not question Sasha. If you like it down here so much we don't have to go outside. We can stay down here today."

"N-" she flinched as she tried to talk. Sasha picked up on a lot of things quickly. She understood her new name. She knew I'd let her yap if I said she could speak. She just seemed incapable of learning when she was allowed to speak. It's not like I've given her a command or anything.

"Something to say girl? Speak." It was hard not to get a little drunk off the power. Here I was standing in front of this woman so much stronger than me, yet she was incapable of getting off her knees. It felt nice to have someone on their hands and knees in front of me. So strong yet so clearly inferior.

"I would like to go outside." She said what she knew I wanted to hear. So polite and courteous despite the words coming out from behind her clenched teeth like some pouty child.

"I'm going to give you a warning. You have to stick with your answer, no giving up. There are consequences if you don't follow the rules of the path you choose. I'll ask once more. Do you want to go outside or stay down here? You will have to earn going outside today. If you instead want to stay down here you won't get the option of seeing the sun again for a very long time. Speak."

I was doing my best to both push her towards the option I wanted her to choose. Not getting to be in the sunlight for a few months if she chose not to take my generous offer felt like a good motivator. It also helped to prepare her for today a bit. She knew she was giving up more going outside than staying here.

I saw the flame in Sasha wane for the moment. "I… want to go outside." She sounded dejected as the weight of her decision hit her.

"Good puppy. That's a great step forward for both of us. Just for that I'm turning off the yap shocker, just be careful about what you say. I’ll be back in a moment Sasha, I need to grab something for you." I walked into the toy room and grabbed the same mitts she wore before and a new ear headband. A prototype idea that I had bought from the market. Today was the perfect day to test it.

"Close your eyes Sasha so I can surprise you." I was a little surprised to see that she actually did it. "Guess what I brought you?"

"Something new to humiliate me with?" Sasha responded with a sigh. She was right, but why couldn't she be excited for it.

“Here I thought you were going to work with me today Sasha.” I was a bit unimpressed on how quickly she began to mope. But she knew what was on the line. She took a deep breath and smiled at me.

“You have so many… unique toys that I can’t even imagine what you have.” Her voice suddenly took an upbeat tone. Happy and dripping with sarcasm. Despite her new tone, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know what half the stuff I wanted to use on her was. “What do you have… um…” She stumbled at the end, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Something wrong Sasha?” She kept her eyes shut, she didn’t want to disobey but she hit some kind of block.

“You brought me here… some time ago. I don’t know how much time has passed. You’ve chosen a name for me. But I don’t have a name for you." I could see her game. But she had a point. It would be good for her to have a way to refer to me.

"If you’re good for me I’ll give you a name to use in a bit. Open your eyes, Sasha." She opened them and looked at the gear I brought her. She tried her best to hide her disdain for the gear, but I could see she was dreading putting everything back on.

"What am I Sasha?" I was focused on getting her paws locked on so I wasn't looking at her, but I could tell there were probably a thousand very mean words she wanted to say. She stayed quiet though. "Speak your mind Sasha."

"Now you want me to speak my mind? Last time I did that you made me run until I dropped. You hurt me for speaking, you're probably waiting to find an excuse to hurt me again.” Sasha knew she was striking a nerve, I could hear that matter-of-factness in her voice. I wasn’t waiting to hurt her. Not that it wouldn’t enjoy it if the opportunity arose. She was right on some level though, I had lost my temper.

“You’re right Sasha. Well, sort of. I’m not looking for an excuse to hurt you. You’d never get a shock again if you fell in line. But, I did the wrong thing last night and lost my temper.” I sat on the floor in front of the cage so I could be eye level with Sasha. Maybe lowering myself to her level would help sell my apology. “I spent a lot of time creating that room for you and what you said about it hurt my feelings and I lost my temper when it shouldn’t have bothered me. There’s not much I can do to make it up to you.”

“You could let me go.” She suggested the idea for what seemed to be the millionth time, but this time she sounded happy and chipper about it.

I just ignored her and continued. It wasn’t worth the time to acknowledge what she said. "I'm hoping today will be a nice day. If all goes according to plan you'll get to go outside and enjoy the breeze and the sunshine.”

“I had those things but you brought me down here instead.” There was some bitterness in her voice she was trying to hide. She wanted to use a matter-of-fact tone, to try and tell me why I was doing “bad things.” The bitterness undercut her attempt.

“I thought you weren’t going to be difficult.” I reached through the bars and placed the new ears on her head. Her protests were amusing. There was no real strength behind them, she was afraid of pushing too hard and making me snap again. But if she wasn’t going to try and tell me that I should let her go she may as well just give up, and luckily Sasha wasn’t a quitter.

She sighed and examined her hands, locked away safely inside of her paws. “So is this what you do? Just go around kidnapping people for your weird fetish? Are there other people here fulfilling some other fantasy? Like some kind of… whatever.” It was fun watching her overextend herself when she went on her little rants. It was cute when she hit a point that showed she really didn’t know anything about what she was upset over.

“I’m guessing you weren’t really a porn person? You seem to be struggling to name a kink. I could name a few off for you and see how much you can intuit from the names. Either way, you only get one question like that a day. If you’re good today you can choose to ask that tonight.” She shot me a glare. I thought I was being helpful, I’d love to show her just how little she knew.

“W-whatever can we just… do whatever it is you wanted to do to me.” She started off embarrassed but unfortunately she was dejected at the end.

“No need to lose that enthusiasm. You make it sound like I’m forcing your hand. Like you don’t have a choice in the matter.” I was giving her more choices than she should have. She was lucky to have me, any other owner would never have given her such generous options. None of them would have let her stay herself. She should be happy she was even able to act like a brat.

“Like I dont... you’re a kidnapper!” She looked at me like I had just told her the dumbest thing in her life. Perhaps it wasn’t an unfair reaction.

“I think that’s a bit harsh of a term. I had you picked up like a stray dog on the street and you were brought to me. I rescued you if nothing else. Technically I didn’t even rescue you from the streets. Technically some very… nice people I paid very well, who you hurt very, badly did. Not that I care much. Costed me an extra grand for each one of them that was injured but what’s four thousand dollars in the grand scheme of things?” It cut into my toy budget a bit, but it was worth it. If I hadn’t hired as many as I did Sasha might not be here right now. She may have easily gotten away and I would have lost my only chance. If you’re burned you don’t get to try again; those were the rules.

“Fo-four thousand dollars? You spent four thousand dollars to kidnap me?” It’s like she wasn’t even listening. Who would go through the effect to take someone for a measly four thousand dollars?

I wasn’t able to contain a chuckle. “Four thousand dollars was the extra I had to pay because of all the bones you broke. Bringing you here cost much, much more than that. But that doesn’t matter. I have entertained more than enough of your questions. I let you get snippy with me but I expect the chipper attitude you had when I was having you guess what I brought you. You will do what I say and I expect minimum expectation.”

“But…” she started and trailed off.

“But what Sasha?” I raised an eyebrow, waiting to see what she was going to complain about.

“You… never answer my question on what to call you.” Her response was measured. She was digging for some kind of information, hoping I was dumb enough to just give her my name. “Without having something to call you it makes it difficult to answer some questions in the manner you want them to be. You know everything about me somehow, but I know nothing about you.”

Sasha made fair points. It’s one of the many reasons I loved her. So level headed and calculating while she was locked in a cage. I had gotten on a tangent and forgotten to get back to her question.

I wouldn’t be giving her my name of course. Most of us had a different name we chose when we joined the group, only used between each other and our property. I never bothered with it, it seemed pointless at the time. I could see why it was useful now. Though, even if I had one I’m not sure I wanted to give it to Sasha. Letting her use my name was a bit too much, a wolf doesn’t need to know their owner’s name.

Titles were the obvious choice. I had no official titles, just irrelevant epithets. Goddess was popular among those I saw that had an overly inflated ego. It wasn’t a title that fit me though. I wasn’t above everyone else, everyone else was simply below me. That was the difference. Miss was cute and what I had considered applying to have put on my file, but it set the wrong tone here. Mistress was closer in the right direction. It was a commanding title but it didn’t feel right to me. There was nothing wrong with it but it just wasn’t what I wanted.

There was one I could think of that fulfilled everything I wanted. Maybe it wasn’t as graceful as miss and it didn’t give off the same vibes as mistress. But it was the one I wanted Sasha to refer to me as.

“Master.” Short, succinct and immediately rectifies any power imbalance when she was allowed to talk.

It caught her off guard. “What? That’s not wha-”

I cut her off. She wanted my name, not this title. I could see from the look on her face she already knew she made a mistake by letting me choose what she called me. All those awful names that went through her head earlier, everything she wanted to call me was gone. She now had a name for me. The only one that would ever matter.

“You will refer to me as Master. Understood?” I stood up straight and did what I could to make myself as big as possible. As intimidating as I could be. Showing her the phone so she remembered I could shock her at any point probably helped.

“Y-yes.” She looked at my phone, then at the floor.

“Yes what?” I prompted her to correct herself.

“Yes… Master.”

4 notes · View notes

toosicktoocare · 5 years

Text

prompt: Would you consider writing for persona 5 since you like akechi x akira? If so can I put in a request for akira taking a nasty hit for akechi, but they're all out of healing items and are drained of energy. So they're desperately driving back to the entrance of mementos with akira in the back of the car and akechi holding his hands over the wound trying to keep him awake and realizing just how much he cares about Akira Of course dont feel obligated to write this!

Akechi operates daily on a plan. Every move taken, every word said all fit into a single, calculated, overarching plan that leaves no room for error, no room for emotions. Everything must play out crisp and precise, and this, Akechi thinks, his mind operating far too fast for his liking, this is not according to plan.

They’re fighting an archangel in Mementos, something familiar, something they’ve fought multiple times before, and Akechi didn’t mean to get distracted for just a breath of a moment, eyes briefly flicking to Akira when the leader stumbled after blocking a hit. He didn’t mean to avert his gaze, but in the second he did, the archangel turned to him, moving wickedly fast, too fast for Akechi to even begin to evaluate a counter-attack or block.

He only managed a gasp, a whispered “shit,” before something long, black, and flowing jumped in front of him, protecting him, taking a sharp hit from the archangel’s sword. No, Akechi concludes as Akira drops to ground in front of him, this is one-hundred percent not apart of the plan.

“Joker!”

“I’m out of healing items!”

“Me too!”

Their voices sound distant to Akechi’s ringing ears. He can just barely make out the desperation clinging to their tones, and without meaning to, he chases it, he moves with his racing heart until he’s crouched down, hands hovering over Akira’s limp form, unsure of how to act, unsure if he should assess the situation logically or emotionally.

“Crow, get him out of here! I’m calling Panther for back-up!”

That makes sense. Logical sense. It’s the best course of action, and Akechi clings to the clarity as he slowly helps Akira to his feet, arm snaking around Akira’s waist when the latter sways on his feet. Akira groans against the movement, his gloved hand moving instinctively to his abdomen, and Akechi follows the shaking motion, frowning at the blood that blends in with Akira’s glove.

He guides the leader back toward Morgana’s bus, helping Akira climb into the back seat with careful, steady hands. Even in the dim bus lighting, he can see the stark pale complexion that blends in frighteningly with Akira’s white mask, making the black around his eyes appear darker than before.

Akechi holds a hand up to Akira’s eyes, a defensive sign that Akira nods weakly at, and slowly, he removes Akira’s mask, frowning at the pain that pulls at Akira’s face and coats his eyes. Sweat’s beading at his forehead and sliding down his temples, yet he’s shaking slightly, and Akechi swallows back against a lump molding to his throat.

“You are a complete idiot,” Akechi mutters under his breath, pulling his attention toward the gash that’s ripped across Akira’s abdomen, blood pooling out past his red gloves. “Do you hear me? You are the dumbest person I’ve ever met.” His voice is shaking slightly, but he pushes past it, gently prying Akira’s hand from the wound to further inspect it.

It’s, as he expected, bad, really bad. The skin is broken, swollen and red around the edges. The blood loss is frighteningly impressive, and Akechi takes a small moment to consider that this should have been him, not Akira. He can heal on his own and still work through his extended plan, but Akira getting hurt... for him. That’s different.

He can hear the others running back to the bus after successfully killing the archangel, and Morgana revs the engine, a sign to hurry the others. He needs to put pressure on the wound to slow the bleeding, and it would be ideal for Akira to lie down. But that wouldn’t leave room for the others, so he scans the backseat bench for a moment before sighing.

“Can you scoot forward a little?”

Akira locks eyes to his, and there’s so much trust pushing past the pain that Akechi has to look away and clear his throat. His heart is still racing, though the adrenaline from before has been slowly replaced with a muted, gripping fear that he wants so desperately to ignore.

Akira slides forward, not without hissing sharply against the pain that Akechi can only imagine is unbearable, and once he’s on the edge of the seat, Akechi very carefully shifts around until he’s seated behind Akira, legs spread so that Akira has room in front of him.

“Lean back against me.”

Akira complies, leaning heavily against Akechi’s chest, his energy fleeting. Akechi moves his mask up away from his eyes, resting atop his head, and he slips both arms around Akira, pressing both, gloved hands to the wound. Akira hisses once more, a wince pulling at his face, and Akechi frowns when Akira’s head rolls tiredly to the side.

“Stay awake, Joker,” he mutters into Akira’s ear. “This is not your time to die.”

“What if it is?”

There’s no fear to Akira’s tone, no hesitation, just quiet acceptance that has Akechi’s muscles going rigid.

“It’s not,” he spits out. “Morgana,” he growls, and Morgana revs his engine again, harder this time, and the others come piling in soon after.

“How is he?”

“That’s a lot of blood!”

“Drive, Morgana!”

Everyone’s shouting, all worried for their leader, and for the first time, Akechi gets it. There’s a pit growing in his stomach. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s pulsing along fear and anxiety, and right now, he cannot do a single, damn thing to fix the situation. That, he thinks, is the most frustrating part.

This should have been him, he reminds himself. Everything would be easier if he had taken the hit. He presses his hands tighter to the wound when he spots Akira’s eyes fluttering.

“I said no sleeping.”

“You’re... bossy.”

Akira’s voice is breathless when he speaks. It’s weak, yet it still holds a hint of familiar sass that only slightly eases the concern gripping at Akechi’s heart.

“That’s nothing new,” Akechi replies, pulling his attention briefly to the others, who are calling out quick directions, guiding Morgana back to the entrance. They are making good time despite the ride being rough. They’re getting closer, and Akechi’s heart is hammering against his ribs painfully.

“We’re almost there,” he whispers to Akira, who can only hum weakly in response.

His hands are beginning to shake against the wound, feeling for the first time tonight that they are working against a rapidly ticking clock. He’s never considered Akira dying before...

He shakes his head to rid his thoughts, for just a moment, of his plan. His eyes drift toward the entrance, and soon enough, Ryuji and Makoto are pulling Akira from his arms, helping him out of the bus, and Akechi looks down at the blood splattered against his Crow outfit, bright red painted across white and gold. He feels sick. It’s too much. Akira will--

“Akechi?”

Ann’s at his side, a gentle hand on his shoulder. He pulls his gaze away from his bloody gloves, unsure of how long he’s been frozen in place.

“Akira. Is he--”

“--Makoto and Yusuke have already started patching him up.”

Akechi frowns at this, looking over Ann’s shoulder to see Makoto and Yusuke working together to wrap a large bandage around Akira’s abdomen while Akira munches on a Devil Fruit. He tilts his head in silent question, keeping his eyes locked to Akira’s bare, bloody torso.

“We keep a small bag of supplies at the entrance. For situations like this.”

He nods and slips out of the bus, surprised out how weak he feels. His legs are shaking, but then he meets Akira’s half-lidded gaze and Akira, fucking Akira, smiles at him, a warm, soft smile that squeezes Akechi’s heart.

“Are you okay, Akechi?”

He only nods to Ryuji as he wills his muscles to cooperate and move to Akira. “I’ll escort you home.”

The others look toward him, a few questions come his way, but Akira mutters “okay,” and everyone falls silent. Makoto and Yusuke finish bandaging Akira’s wound, and they leave Mementos, exhausted, beaten, but alive.

It’s late when Akira and Akechi walk into Cafe Leblanc. Sojiro’s already gone for the night, and, Akechi thinks, that’s probably for the better seeing as Akira cannot walk without support. He helps Akira up to his room, frowning when Akira drops to his bed with a groan.

“It’s still bothering you.” They’re both back in their school uniforms, but Akechi can’t get the images of red from his mind. He frowns and crosses his arms, unable to pull his eyes away from Akira’s stomach, where he knows the bandaged gash is underneath his uniform.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Of course you will be,” Akechi scoffs lightly, running a hand through his slightly tangled hair. He sighs at the uncomfortable silence between the two, resting heavy in the air, pending words neither knows how to speak.

“I’d do it again.”

Akira’s voice penetrates the silence like a gust of howling air that Akechi blinks wordlessly at. “Excuse me?”

“You said I was dumb. For what I did. But, I would do it again. I would do it a thousand times over if it means you stay safe.”

Each word sounds so unbearably genuine. Akechi thinks he may no longer be able to take this, to handle Akira. The plan...

“You’re thinking too loud,” Akira gripes out, kicking off his shoes and easing his legs fully onto the bed with a wince. “I said I’ll be fine, so there’s no need to worry.”

“I’m not worrying,” Akechi bites out. A lie, but, well, lying is what he does best unfortunately. “Rest,” he mutters. The air in the room feels suffocating. He needs to leave. He needs to breathe, to will his heart to slow back down to a steady pace. “No Mementos until you’re well.”

He turns to the door, but Akira mutters his name, his first name, “Goro,” in such a quiet, almost desperate tone, and the small word is enough to have Akechi freezing, hand hovering above the doorknob.

A shaky sigh slips past his lips, and he turns to look over his shoulder, doing his best to keep his expression calm and composed despite his stuttering heart.

“Yes?”

“Stay. It’s late anyway.”

Akechi turns back to the door and considers the request. It is late. It would take a while to get home, and he’s exhausted, both physically and mentally. He’s not sure just how much sleep he’ll actually get with Akira slow close by, but then again, he doesn’t trust Akira to actually rest like he needs to. Sighing once more, he nods and turns away from the door.

“Fine, but we both rest.” He drops his bag by the couch before sinking down onto it, his muscles giving into the exhaustion gripping at his very core.

“I wouldn’t suggest anything but,” Akira responds through a yawn, and Akechi watches as Akira’s eyes flutter closed, still in his uniform and still in his glasses. That wound, Akechi thinks, must be taking more out of him than he’s letting on. Typical of his leader...

He frowns at his attachment as he lies down. He needs to take a day, he thinks, to reevaluate his plan, to factor in these new, growing emotions, to assess how to deal with them. But for right now, for just this one night, he’ll forget about everything other than what’s in the now.

59 notes · View notes

gunmetalgrey-trashpile · 4 years

Text

morons united group chat with @diabolicaltendencies @epiitaphs @theasteriae

ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : whos hosting this weekend? Bagsy not me, only just got the window fixed from when Bash tried to escape through it. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : tried? i think you mean succeeded.

SMS [ do not answer ] : anyway, yeah, no, i can't. sorry. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you mean you went though a closed window and got covered in glass, sure, you succeeded. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you're just bitter because you lost the bet. word to the wise, alex, never ever bet against basher moran ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : it’s fine, I put the window repairs in your card. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that's fine too; "my" card is actually august's card. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : should have known going for your wallet was a liability. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i mean, probably, yeah. you're fingers are so sticky, i'd have to be stupid to carry my real wallet when i'm meeting up with you. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: And my card is really the inheritance fund so you might as well do something useful with it, Alex. sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'm out of town until Sunday. But if you need a place to crash I'm sure you'll find your way in.

BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : you could have told me! if i'd known it was dear old dad's money i was spending, i'd have blown the whole lot a long time ago SMS [ do not answer ] : where out of town, exactly?

AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: which is exactly why they wouldn't give it to me all at once. sms [ clusterfuck ]: what? you looking to come along?

BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : killjoys SMS [ do not answer ] : nope, not if you're where i think you are. just seeing if you'll tell me the truth.

ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : dammmmmn well seeing as I’ve had to put up with you shitheads for so many years I’m glad your daddy’s finally paying up SMS [ trash pile ] : better get me a fridge magnet from wherever you are BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah, i heart surrey, just what you've always wanted. not. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : at least August gets me stuff rather than BREAKING MY FLAT SMS [ trash pile ] : I have a lot less anger towards your dad now he’s going to pay for my MOT SMS [trash pile] : is this what rich kid life is like?? BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : oh yeah? why don't you get august to bring you daddy's ashes back as well then, so you can bow and scrape before the urn, really say thank you? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I'd happily tell you but you could just as easily ask your boss. Your passive aggressive shit must be rubbing off on him. sms [ clusterfuck ]: but seriously, by all means, spend away. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : alright, well, i guess saturday night's on me after all then SMS [ do not answer ] : jim asked you to work? why did he ask you and not me? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: because he actually gives a damn about you and I'm still expendable, apparently.

sms [ clusterfuck ]: Don't have a fridge magnet, Alex, but I got a pretty nice knife off the bitch who tried to stab me with it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : bash calm down, it’s probably better not to be mr. Narcissistic fucks favours? SMS [ trash pile] : JUST CHECKING but was this bitch very short and in a blonde wig?? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: No...? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : okay that makes me feel a whole lot better SMS [ trash pile ] : shall we do another weekend if August can’t make it?? We need someone with more than one brain cell. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Yeah, no. It was a man with a death wish. You'd know if you tried to stab one of us... right? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I mean you’d really hope so but it’s not unheard of SMS [ trash pile ] : I stab a lot of people AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Fair enough. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if you’re not in Berlin right now you’re probably safe SMS [ trash pile ] : probably AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: Just stick to the plan. I'll be there Sunday to pick you all up off the floor. sms [ clusterfuck ]: Or bail you out. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I’ve got brunch with Sam Sunday SMS [ trash pile ] : if we survive AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: You really think you'll make that date? I'd reschedule that if anything. ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : ITS NOT A DATE BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but does sammy know that? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I need coffee and avocado toast to fix the hangover SMS [ trash pile ] : we. are. not. dating. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but, again ... does he know that? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I have coffee and a toaster. Just tell Sam to bring your avocado and something for the rest of us. We can interrogate him then. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : shall i ask jim if he still has those thumbscrews lying around? i mean, it's better to do these things thoroughly, wouldn't you say? ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : I wish I had stabbed you AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: I was just thinking about questioning him. But you know, now that you mention it. How well do you think he'd hold up? Hypothetically. ALEX SMS [ Trash pile ] : this is a conversation we are not having AUGUST SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, it's pointless -- so much easier just to find out for real ALEX SMS [ trash pile ] : if we were dating, which we very much aren’t, why would you need to interrogate him? It’s SAM SMS [ trash pile ] : he’s stitched you ALL up BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yeah, but are you not dating in the way jim and i aren't dating, or are you not dating in the way that august isn't dating anyone at all? AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: A fair question. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fair point. you know, though, sammy's pretty steely. i think he could go at least a couple of rounds. AUGUST sms [ clusterfuck ]: With his background I'm honestly just curious if he can take it as well as he dished it out. SEB sms [block]: oh are we talking about torturing sam? im down sms [block]: im with august think itd be interesting BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : yes, aha, 3 against 1, alex, sorry -- you've been outvoted! ALEX SMS [trash pile] : trust you to show up when we discuss torture SEB sms [block]: i only have time for important things ALEX SMS [trash pile] : anyone lays a hand on my not boyfriend and I will break bones SEB sms [block]: hah you said the word boyfriend BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : methinks the lady doth protest too much SMS [ do not answer ] : just kidding, alex isn't a lady SEB sms [block]: she could barely pretend to be ALEX SMS [trash pile] : IM NOT A LADY FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK SMS [trash pile] : listen just cause I’m the only one who hangs around with people who aren’t psychotic murderers SMS [trash pile] : speaking of, how is jimbo? SEB sms [block]: lady moran. weird ring to it. ALEX SMS [trash pile] : yh bash ur mum is WEIRD SEB sms [block]: really shouldve seen that response coming sms [block]: anyway alex you cant break all our bones at once so really just be ready for ur boy to disappear for a while BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : don't talk shit about my mother SEB sms [block]: dont take it personally, petya has some mommy issues BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : unless you want to get into all your mummy issues, you two? SMS [ do not answer ] : precisely, back the fuck off SEB sms [block]: or what BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : or i will show you why it is my nickname isn't seb, but basher SMS [ do not answer ] : got that? SEB sms [block]: loud and clear sms [block]: still, you'd better pick on alex first, since shes more ur size BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : fuck you SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you down any day of the week and you know it SEB sms [block]: sounds like a challenge to me BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : bring it then SMS [ do not answer ] : i dare you SEB sms [block]: see u this weekend then sms [block]: keep an eye out BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i've beaten bigger men than you blindfolded SMS [ do not answer ] : so i think i'm good to sleep, thanks SEB sms [block]: if you say so BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : i could take you and alex on and once and still come out without a scratch on me SEB sms [block]: well now thats just bragging sms [block]: but this is 1 on 1 you can fight alex another time BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : gladly, mate ALEX Alex Moran has left the chat SEB sms [block]: oh perfect we can plan the torture without worrying she'll tattle to sam AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Oh hey Seb. How's it going? SEB sms [block]: just another day of making sure my sister doesn't murder me AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: I see you two ran Alex off again.. yep pretty much what I was about to guess. SEB sms [block]: these things happen when we're left unsupervised AUGUST Sms [ clusterfuck ]: Understandable. Unfortunately we should probably keep Sam in one piece if you're out picking fights. BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : it's a shame, but ... he kind of has a point, you know SEB sms [block]: it really is sms [block]: as much as i also hate to agree sms [block]: and i dont think sticking him in a basement overnight is going to do much BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : we could always try the interrogation tactics they taught us in the army? SEB sms [block]: well. thatd probably be logical BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : that way he'd be physically fine afterwards, hopefully mentally competent enough to patch you back up as well SEB sms [block]: ur so smug about assuming there wont be one single mark on you sms [block]: but as long as he can hold a needle and use it properly then yeah should be alright BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : ah no, i'm not that arrogant, i just know i can cope with a couple of cuts and bruises SMS [ do not answer ] : i know i'll have had worse SEB sms [block]: fair enough sms [block]: we'll see if you can do enough damage to actually make me get stitches or whatever BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : if you end up needing stitches, i'll buy the first round SMS [ do not answer ] : fair's fair, yeah? SEB sms [block]: yeah thats fair BASH SMS [ do not answer ] : excellent, well then, i'll see you saturday SEB sms [block]: sounds good. ill be ready

#discord thread 007 | morons group chat #v; ⋱ OH GOT THERE’S MORE OF THEM ⋰ ⦙ |*| ( crack family )#⌐╦╦═─ ⋱ morans or morons? hard to tell ⋰ ⦙ alex + august + seb + bash (crack family)#diabolicaltendencies #epiitaphs #theasteriae

2 notes · View notes

graffitibible · 4 years

Note

Do you have any advice for writing or creating regularly? That’s hard for me and I’d like to get better at it.

it boils down to what works best for you personally tbh. i’ve got a system to write semi-regularly (or i did......restricted movement hours have kinda forced me to restructure that lol) and it works for me but that’s just how my brainyot works. i’m a routine-based creature so working writing into my routine was how i got myself to write semi-regularly.

ive also had significant Brain Junk for most of my life and was gradually able to navigate how best to create in spite of that but im also like, medicated for it and the like so self-care was a factor. i couldnt create shit while i was too busy lying in a pool of my own filth having fits of paranoia about the nature of reality so i was hardly about to make myself try and create stuff when that wasnt even on my radar.

i can share some of the things i do to keep myself writing though! like again this isn’t something that’s for sure gonna work for everybody cause everybodys wired differently but i hope some of it helps!

1. daily wordcount - i’ve mentioned this before but i have a daily wordcount that i do for my original fiction. i don’t apply the same standard to fic-writing because that risks making it an arbitrary barrier that puts too many numbers on my internal list. that being said, it’s very small. i make myself do 200 words per day. if that gets me going and writing more than that, awesome. if not, i still got a little bit done. 200 words is small, and it’s not overwhelming to catch up on if i miss a day. no matter how shitty im feeling i try to get in 200 words.

2. routine - since i’m a routine-based person by nature i basically found ways to finagle creative processes into all that. it’s not hard and fast because that kind of rigid structure makes me balk and i’m not that disciplined lol, but it’s usually something like “i have an hour-long lunch break at work and literally nothing else to do during it so i’ll write in that time period” or “i have thirty minutes of sitting by the stove making dinner so i’ll write until it’s ready”

3. momentum - or what my housemate fondly calls “The Juice.” if i have The Juice of inspiration i keep that going for as long as i can. if something’s not working for me i don’t scrap it or toss it right away. if i’m having trouble with a scene i make a note to myself and move on to a different one. example of this from my latest wip, which is part iv of mayhem

i hadnt worked out what was gonna go there and nothing was coming to me easy in the moment so i stuck the note there and kept going. my works are full of this shit. if i can’t think of a name or if there’s a statistic or a character i haven’t worked out yet i don’t wanna break my focus and momentum so i slap a note in the first draft and keep going. at a first draft stage the important thing is getting the words Out so it doesnt matter if theyre perfect. ill go back and fix them later, revise all i need to. first drafts dont need to be good, they just need to be there so i can spruce them up later.

on the flip side do not be like me and commit to this momentum so bad that you forget that you are a human being who needs to eat and consume liquids. i do that sometimes because of who i am as a person and it is a serious flaw of mine, do not be like this. sometimes getting some food in you is what you need to get The Juice flowing again and that sounds kinda gross and i am sorry

4. planning and hangups - this ones dependent on how you create. i forget where this analogy came from, but i’ve heard it said that some writers are architects who need a blueprint of where they’re going before they end up there and some writers are gardeners, who don’t need a set plan so much as they need to keep going. i’m definitely an architect - a lot of my works start out as bulletpoints of what scenes i wanna cover, what topics i wanna explore, etc. - though i have on occasion simply Written without any set destination, usually to force myself out of a creative slump. me being a big planner used to be one of the biggest barriers for me creatively because i’d spend hours agonizing over minute universe details and never start the dang story. this still happens from time to time. like heres what my organizational folder looks like wrt “pray for disaster”

that is not even all the files in there. why do i have two dictionaries. jesus. like i make these giant ass fuckin....tomes of stuff i like to keep track of, which i like to call “bibles” lol. except i could tell that getting too organized was gonna be an uphill battle with very little payoff so by the end i just made a “MISCELLANEOUS BULLSHIT” doc and for now i throw everything in there if it doesn’t fit into something like a dictionary or timeline

shit like this is why i like to just sit down and write without a clear destination in mind if i’m having writer’s block. that’s one of those things that goes hand in hand with the way i take advantage of my own momentum - if i reach a certain point where i’m just picking at details and not doing any writing i just go “ok motherfucker sit down and write shit. we will work out the details later.”

5. motivation - the ways i tend to motivate myself are weird so idk how true this is for anybody else but i’ve been writing for a pretty large part of my life. i went to college for english/creative writing and got a whole dang degree cause i still wanna make this my vocation somehow. one thing i cannot ever turn off is the writer part of my brain that’s going “oooh huh that’s not how i would’ve written that” in literally every piece of art i consume - tv, movies, books, songs, etc. sometimes that’s enough to inspire me into doing something on my own time. most of the time though if i’m feeling stumped i tend to crack open some of my personal favorite works, like books or fics that have really resonated with me, to fall in love with the art all over again. seeing the way different authors and artists do their craft helps me get in the zone of wanting to write more cause i get this nice feeling of “damn, these people really did those things with those words.....that’s fuckin amazing.....i wanna do that.”

you do risk falling into the trap of “ugh i can’t write like them though” but that’s the beauty of writing. nobody can write the way anybody else does. ofc i can’t write like terry pratchett, only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett, and if i compare myself to terry pratchett i’m only gonna get sad and mopey. but i can write in a way thats totally unique to me so i should not try to write like terry pratchett because that’s just impeding my own creative energy in the interest of trying to cookie-cut myself into someone else’s zone. only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett but only i can write like zero graffitibible.

i hope that was helpful? like this is all stuff that works for me so no guarantee it’ll work for everyone else.

oh right and idk how many of yall are minors because let it be known that i do not condone underage drinking; i am an adult who occasionally will get crunk because i like to write drunk and edit sober. if you too are an adult who can legally consume alcohol feel free to write while buzzed because that is a nice way to write with zero fuckin inhibitions. i dont get blackout drunk or nothing just a little buzzed and sometimes what i write makes no sense but i am at times at my most productive at 2am while mildly buzzed. its a thing.

like again i’m not really an authority on this by any means - this is just what works for me. but if it works for you too, great!! find your zone and all that

#anon #ask #z speaks #alcohol mention cw in case anybodys got that blacklisted #theres nothing as liberating as writing after having consumed 1.5 beers and feeling like a gOD #i say 1.5 but realistically its more like 1 #i am a tiny person who cannot hold their liquor #and beer really is just mulled fartweed but thats all right #creating is pain and pain is living and sometimes that entails drinking mulled fartweed cause itll loosen you up enough to really Write #i dont lean on this too much btw #its just like if i happen to get buzzed ill usually go 'you know what i should totally do. write.'#it is at times incomprehensible

15 notes · View notes

bakugou-tm · 5 years

Note

I JUST WOKE UP AND SAW IDEA TIME SO UH I DONT REMEMBER WHERE I GOT THIS FROM BUT: villain/anti-hero reader shows up at bakugou's door in the middle of the night like terrified outta their mind n bruised and dirty and goes "i had no where else to go" before c o l l a p s i n g

your idea is FANTASTIC and if you would like me to re-write it in your version let me know I will, but I have a better idea where it’s sorta flipped in a way? the reader still comes to the door injured but she comes to villain bakugou’s door instead; THANK YOU FOR THIS AMAZING IDEA (ps. i’m sorta using the look and quirk from my previous anti-hero bakugou story)

——————————————————————————————-

After being a pro-hero for about five years now, the dissapointment that filled your body as you were backed into a corner for falling for the sick villain’s tricks was overwhelming.

The chief at your agency only asked you to investigate an ongoing case of a low life criminal, the villain wasn’t too dangerous and it should’ve been an easy case.

Should’ve been.

You’ve been doing this for five damn years, you even had a feeling that something was off about this case before you were even assigned to it. It all seemed to simple, too easy. You should’ve been more cautious instead of rushing into it in hopes to get home to your comfy bed sooner.

Instead here you stood, back against a pipe filled with acidic chemicals with three villains cornering you in.

Now even with the situation you were in, it should’ve still been easy to get out of it with the powerful radiation quirk you had, but the villain you had been chasing led you right into his trap, leaving you powerless.

When you arrived on the scene, it took less than ten minutes for you to find the villain himself. That should’ve been the first red flag that led you to stop and analyze the situation. But instead, you ruthlessly attacked the villain, not even noticing as the bright sun was lowering for the day, leaving only darkness above you.

After hours of pounding and using your green energy to attempt to incapacitate the villain, you had finally succeeded. That is, until you felt a new pair of arms grab you by the waist.

Just when you were ready to yank the arms back and launch them across the building, you had frozen when the man hadn’t budged at all. You tried to light a starbolt in your hand to blast him away, but nothing emitted from your hand except a pathetic green spark.

It was then that you realized your powers were drained, and there was no solar power to recharge you anytime soon.

So now here you stood, your silk like skin pressed against the cool rusted pipe behind you, wishing you could just meld into the metal and disappear till morning when the sun would be able to recharge your quirk.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this Starbolt.” The villain before you hissed, each of the three men before you having sickly twisted smirks.

Gritting your teeth, you let your testy personality talk the talk but for once you wished you would shut your mouth because you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk the walk anytime soon.

“It’s pretty sad you had to come up with this entire intricate plan just to get me quirkless so I can’t beat your ass to a pulp.”

The warped laughs you heard in response made your skin crawl.

“You think that’s sad bombshell?” The man sneered, “What I think is sad is that you’re on the verge of becoming the number nine hero of Japan and you fell for such an obvious trap, such a silly girl.”

This caused you to inhale sharply, your eyes slightly widening which didn’t go unnoticed by the villains before you as they laughed at your reaction.

You hated this, you hated all of this. You hated these villains, you hated how you got in this situation, and most of all you hated that they were right.

You didn’t deserve to be called number ten hero at all.

“Now now, what should we now that we have Japan’s sweet golden girl?” The main villain before you hissed, fists cracking as he flashed a distorted grin, “I was just gonna kill ya, but that wouldn’t be good enough…”

“I say we have a little fun with her first.. take off that thin piece of fabric she calls a uniform.”

Swallowing what saliva you had left in your dry mouth, you bit your lip and moved your head to the side as you felt his warm breath on your neck.

Even though you were in this situation you couldn’t just give up. This was not the end of the story, you still had a lot of fight left before you saw the last of this world.

Letting out a growl you kicked your leg out as hard as you could, your booted foot smashing into the man’s knee causing him to crumple to the ground. Eyes looking to the other two you decided for once to think the situation through.

You knew the main villain’s quirk, if he were to lay his hands on you he could give you the side effects of any drug in the world. Given that would prevent you from any hand to hand combat which is all you had without your quirk and you didn’t know of the other two villain’s quirks, you went with the only reasonable option available.

You made a mad dash towards the entrance of the worn down factory. Shouting was heard from behind you but you didn’t care, all you wanted was to get out of their fast. You pushed your pride aside and let the truth sink in that you were pretty much useless at the given moment without your quirk.

The opening to the street outside was close, for a moment you thought you may get out of this easier than you thought. But of course, nothing was ever easy for a pro-hero.

A sharp burning pain began to surge through your shoulder causing a shrill shriek to escape your plump lips as you crumpled slightly and looked to the side.

A bright yellowish green substance covered your right shoulder, slowly seeping into your skin and burning the edges of your costume. Looking back you saw one of the villain’s henchmen grinning with his hand glowing the same sickly color.

“Acid doesn’t feel to hot does it sweet cheeks?” The man sneered, quickly running to you.

The burn was severe enough to incapacitate your right arm, but it didn’t stop you from running. You could only assume the main villain made a run for it since he was nowhere to be seen, but if you could just get the acid man off your tail you would be able to be free.

As you neared the opening, your (e/c) eyes fell upon a stack of metal barrels. They looked just heavy enough to knock the man out or stun him at the very least. Making a mad dash for them you waited till he was just close enough before using all the strength in your left arm you had left to yank the barrel down.

Though the villain didn’t get knocked in the head with the metal barrel, to your luck he ended up tripping over it before his skull smacked into the concrete beneath him.

You dared let a smile reach your lips, hope surging through your veins as you began to run towards the entrance until you saw a large block like fist coming towards you. Before you could even register what it was you were sent flying back, body skidding against the hard floor as you felt stars come to your head.

For a moment you thought you were completely knocked out, the only sound bringing you back to reality was the sound of drops falling against the cool floor.

Blinking slightly you looked down to see a pool of blood beneath your head. Besides the multiple scrapes tainting your smooth legs, you felt a large gash in the side of your head with blood flowing out.

The attack had to cause some sort of temporary brain damage, your head ringing loudly as the man came towards you with a grin.

“You look a little dazed there Starbolt, that’s okay though I don’t need you conscious to have my way with you.”

Mentally you cringed at his words, but you forced yourself physically to cringe as an idea popped into your head. It was probably your worst idea yet, but with a situation like this you had to use all your assets.

“Y..You know, I never realized how incredibly handsome you are.”

The villain froze at this as you gripped onto his shirt to shakily pull yourself to your feet. If there was one thing you knew how to do from past lovers, it was fool a gullible man.

Letting out a pathetic cough you tripped over your own foot and pressed your body up against his own, slowly looking up into his eyes with your lips slightly parted.

The man’s face suddenly lit up, his eyes narrowing as he smirked, “That’s more like it dollface, if I knew this would’ve happened I would’ve knocked some sense into you years ago.”

Just the smell of his warm breath dancing against your skin had you wanted to gag, but you kept your act up for the sake of your life.

“I wish you would’ve knocked some sense into me too…” You purred seductively as your hand traveled lower down his chest towards the edge of his pants, “So I could do this..”

With the villain completely entranced under your spell, you took advantage of the moment to bring your knee up sharply into his crotch as hard as you could.

In seconds the man was crumpled on the floor, wheezing for air as he let out a loud yell.

“You.. You fucking bitch!”

Gritting your teeth you stood over him and spit on his face with a fierce glare, “Don’t mess with me ever again you creep.”

Giving him one last glance to make sure he would stay down, you ran as fast as you could toward the entrance. Somehow.. you had made it. You would be able to run to your agency and tell them everything, and this horrible day would be done with.

Stopping just at the entrance you looked around to your surroundings. Your long smooth hair blew in the chilling wind that came along with the night sky, your eyes taking in the atmosphere. They must’ve led you to the rough part of town, it was going to take you hours to get back to the city or at least anywhere remotely safe.

Biting your lip you shoved the negative thoughts out of your head, if you could make it out of that deadly situation you could get out of this. Beginning to run west towards the city, you froze when you felt a hand grab your shoulder.

“Going somewhere Starbolt?”

Your eye began to twitch lightly, silently cursing as the villain’s quirk already began to surge through your body.

“I must admit, getting through two of my most powerful henchmen was an impressive feat.” The villain spoke, walking around you as you fell to your knees, gripping onto your head as you felt your whole world spinning in circles.

Whatever drug affect he put on you, it was strong. You felt like every emotion you’ve ever felt was coming to life and all you wanted to do was cry.

You hadn’t even felt his fingers grip your chin and lift your gaze up to his smug one, “Perhaps you do deserve that number nine spot, it’s a shame I’ll never let you get the chance to have it.”

Gritting your teeth you felt yourself fall on your butt, your arms scrambling to the floor as you crawled around, the villain just laughing as he watched you hyperventilate.

“Now while you have your fun here doll, I’m going to go wake up my friends in there so we can get you go-”

The villain froze in his words when he noticed your eyes begin to faintly glowing, flickering a bright green.

“What on earth… how do you still have energy..”

The words he spoke hadn’t even registered, your head growing dizzier by the second. Before the villain could do much more your green energy shot from your eyes, knocking him back off his feet as he skidded against the sidewalk.

Much of your awareness to the world was fading as you struggled to stand up, you knew running to town was out of the question now, just walking was hard enough. Luckily enough, a miracle of an idea popped into your head that just might work.

—

As you stumbled down the hallway of the rundown apartment building you let out a quiet whimper. It felt as if the atmosphere was sucking all of the oxygen out of your lungs. The only thing that kept your feet moving you forward was the sheer fear of death.

You took two more steps forward until you felt your side collide with the wall beside you with a loud thud. You were sure you just woke up the entire building but you didn’t care, all that mattered was getting to his room.

The anti-hero you met a few months ago you ended up talking more with, enough for him to invite you over. Though you hadn’t been to his apartment in awhile due to the holiday season being chaotic with the press, you were lucky enough to remember where it was with your intoxicated state.

When your droopy (e/c) eyes fell on the final door of the hallway you let out a cry of relief, quickly leaning your weight to the other side of the wall to his door causing the frame to shake.

You mustered all the energy you could to pound your fist against the door, which really ended up with you slamming your palm against the rundown wood.

The sound of the door to the apartment building filled your ears, sending more fear into your bones causing you to smack the door harder until it swung open.

With the state you were in, you didn’t even feel yourself fall into Bakugou’s arms your vision slowly fading until all you saw was darkness envelope you.

—

The ash blond knew something was wrong before he even opened the door to your unconscious frame.

Though he was in bed attempting to get any sort of sleep, the sound of a bang against the wall was quick to get him up.

If he hadn’t lived in such a shitty apartment he would’ve assumed the groaning and banging was a damn ghost. It wasn’t until the intense knocking on his door that he discovered the banging mess was only you.

For a minute he thought you were just drunk, assuming your shitty ex-boyfriend yet again tried to get under your skin. But when he felt the raw flesh on your left shoulder and the blood dripping onto his arm he knew this wasn’t the case.

“The hell did you get yourself into shitty girl..” Bakugou muttered, quickly scooping his arm underneath your knees to carry you gently to his bed. He placed his hand against your forehead, feeling your face burning up intensely. Your eyes seemed to be fluttering open and closed, but you were unquestioningly knocked out.

You appeared to be drugged, the only problem was he wasn’t sure what drug was used. If he attempted to give you the wrong medicine, the results could be fatal.

Looking down to you his vermillion eyes narrowed, soaking in every feature. Your once pristine uniform was torn up and covered in blood at this point, your normally smooth enticing legs were littered with scrapes, and it would be impossible to notice the probably third degree burns on your left shoulder.

At first he thought perhaps someone had attempted to have their way you, but with your power there’s no way some low life would get away with that. Now after analyzing the damage done to you, this was no average person. You got involved with the wrong villains at the wrong time.

Gritting his teeth, the ash blond plucked your gorgeous strands out of the dried blood on your forehead. Even with such a nasty wounds covering you, you somehow managed to still look like an angel. Your lustrous eyelashes keeping your eyelids shut, those perky lips parted just slightly for air to flow in and out of your mouth. Oh how he wished those dazzling (e/c) eyes were open so he could hold you in his arms and ask what happened.

He knew whoever did this to you was going to pay. But to his luck, they ended up coming right to his door.

“I know I saw her come in this damned building, and that’s probably her blood right there on the wall, c’mon!”

The ash blond’s head whipped up to the sound, immediately recognizing the voice as the infamous villain Tremor.

“Why the fuck did you get yourself involved with these guys angel…” Bakugou muttered, giving you one last glance before standing up and making his way to the door.

Both footsteps met with each other until the three villains stood before Bakugou’s door, the ash blond staring right back at them with a vicious glare.

Tremor’s eyes glanced beside the anti-hero to see your resting form on his bed, before meeting his own gaze.

“Listen Zero we don’t want no trouble, we just want that damn girl we found her first.”

Bakugou grit his teeth, fists clenching as he narrowed his eyes into his signature glare, “You’re not laying a fucking hand on her, she’s mine and she’s staying here.”

At his words, one of the henchmen moved forward until Tremor placed his hand out to block him from advancing any further. The villain looked to him in confusion but Tremor only smirked, moving forward slightly.

“Look Zero I get it, everybody in the city wants a taste of what that girl has but I have personal business with her, you understand right? I’m sure a stud like you can find plenty of other lass that look just like her.”

The villain’s words only pissed of Bakugou more, his body feeling as if it was going to explode figuratively and literally.

How dare he speak of you as if you were just some other girl, some other.. tramp. No other girl could dream of comparing to your angelic features, just your smile alone could light up cities, no countries! You didn’t even have to try, you were so unbelievably genuine that your personality blew your looks out of the water. You were an actual angel sent on earth, and he wasn’t about to let you be taken away from him this easily.

When Tremor noticed Bakugou making no movements he let out a sigh before folding his arms.

“How about this, we take her now and I get my rightful revenge, then I’ll let you have fun with her when we’re done. That only sounds fair right?”

Those were the final words that laid his grave. Bakugou knew you would hate to find out he had murdered more people, but for your sake and his image he knew what had to be done.

If they were to escape they would tell the world that he joined the heroes, and they would only seek you out again until you were dead to the world and that would not happen, not if he could help it.

Looking back to your frame once more, the ash blond sighed before turning back to the villains with a smirk so sinister it sent every hair on their bodies to the sky.

“You’re going to regret every laying a fucking hand on my (F/n).” Bakugou growled, his hands beginning to spark as he moved forward to the villains who began to back away from his doorway.

Bakugou didn’t want to have more blood on his hands, or even waste his energy at this hour on such pathetic extras. But for what they have done to you…

They would pay for what they did to his angelic princess.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bnha bakugou #villain au #villain bakugou #villain bakugou x reader #anti hero bakugou #anti hero bakugou x reader #my hero academia #boky no hero academia #this started off really good #and then this happened #its long my bad #possibly a part two if ya'll end up liking it?#e nJOY

299 notes · View notes