#i'd appreciate if you give it a read as this is important study < 3

[enjomo-arch]

a  bunch  of  ace  study  covering  the  traditions  and  habits  inherited  from  his  mother  as  a  texan.

disclaimer  ;  all  of  these  headcanons  are  made  with  the  help  of  @godthread  and  his  educational  shared  experience  as  a  native  texan.  thank  you  thunder  for  sharing  this  with  me  < 3

001. ace  obviously  wanted  to  teach  himself  manners  to  properly  thank  shanks  for  taking  care  of  luffy  but  this  wasn't  the  only  case.  he  was  very  rude  as  a  child  and  at  some  point  the  responsibility  to  take  his  culture  and  manners  on  a  higher  level  was  tied  to  the  fact  of  rouge  raising  him  before  entrusting  ace  to  garp  and  then  later  on  him  being  under  the  care  of  dadan.  rouge  always  wanted  ace  to  be  properly  mannered  as  this  was  a  standard  for  her  child  to  properly  speak  to  strangers  and  introduce  himself.  she  cared  about  his  speaking  etiquette  as  it  was  important.  ace  however  was  too  young  to  really  understand  this  and  how  much  it  meant  until  he  grew  old  enough  to  understand  the  responsibility.  talking  to  shanks  was  the  cold  shower  he  needed  to  see  the  value  how  manners  are  important.  his  memory  of  his  mother  is  a  little  foggy  but  deep  within  his  heart  ace  understood  that  his  decision  of  asking  makino  to  teach  him  proper  manners  was  indeed  what  his  mother  tried  to  achieve.

002. family  for  ace  is  above  all.  which  shows  how  ace  took  his  mother's  surname  after  growing  up.  his  birth  name  was  gol  d.  ace  but  since  ace  grew  with  bitter  grief  in  his  mouth  towards  roger,  caused  by  the  uneasy  environment  he  was  growing  with  he  ultimately  wished  to  disown  his  own  father.  which  is,  a  big  thing  when  family  matters  was  this  important  for  him.  it  wasn't  roger's  fault  as  he  couldn't  be  present  to  raise  his  son  but  the  more  ace  had  to  suffer  because  of  other  people  who  planted  in  his  head  the  anger  he  felt  when  growing  up  it  boiled  down  to  ace  reaching  his  breaking  point.  however,  it  wasn't  always  the  case.  ace  was  getting  furious  about  other  people  disrespecting  roger's  name  in  front  of  him.  even  now  ace  wouldn't  dare  to  disrespect  the  dead  (  as  he  believes  roger  is  dead  from  the  rumours  he  had  heard  ).  no  matter  how  much  he  started  to  feel  grief  and  bitterness  and  anger  towards  his  father  he  wouldn't  dare  to  disrespect  him  especially  after  passing  away  and  strangers  doing  exactly  that  made  his  blood  boil  to  the  point  of  causing  massive  fights  with  adults.  but  as  he  grew  up  more  and  more  in  this  endless  hole  of  having  poison  in  his  mouth  this  is  something  as  he  said  to  garp  while  inprisoned  that  :

'  but  i  never  wanted  to  have  my  father's  blood.  because  i  don't  have  any  memory  of  him.  i  don't  own  him  anything  '

ace  felt  abandoned  and  because  he  couldn't  have  any  actual  fond  memory  of  his  father  he  felt  like  it's  the  right  thing  to  cut  that  tie  loose.  he  never  believed  or  beliefs  that  he  owed  roger  anything  especially  after  how  much  mental  suffering  ace  had  to  go  through  as  a  child  solely  because  of  carrying  his  name  and  blood.  everyone  labeled  the  child  of  the  ex  -  pirate  king  as  a  devil  and  monster  to  the  point  ace  started  to  believe  that  he  really  is  a  good  -  for  -  nothing  monster.  there's  a  saying  that  goes  '  if  the  lie  is  repeated  100  times  it'll  become  the  truth  '  and  for  ace,  it  seemed  just  like  it.

003. however  his  family  value  is  still  above  everything.  he  valued  and  continues  to  value  his  mother,  his  adopted  father,  his  caretaker,  his  brothers  above  all.  taking  the  portgas  name  was  important  to  him  as  he  wished  to  keep  his  mother  with  him  all  the  times  even  if  he  wasn't  physically  able  to  meet  her.  ace  will  do  everything  for  sabo  and  luffy.  no  matter  where  they're  he'd  go  to  hell  and  back  to  make  sure  his  family  is  protected  by  him.  even  if  it  costs  him  the  highest  price.  edward  is  another  case  where  ace  simply  will  do  all  in  his  power  to  make  him  the  pirate  king  and  believes  that  edward  is  his  only  father  because  he  has  any  memory  he  can  tie  to  him.  no  matter  is  bad  blood  or  not,  edward  accepted  ace  and  this  is  what  he  needed.  the  acceptance  he  seeked  for  so  long  and  found  it  with  sabo  and  then  luffy  and  then  with  edward.  this  is  why  ace  decided  to  sun  the  seas  under  the  whitebeard  flag  which  is  the  biggest  pride  for  him  in  his  life  and  forever  a  part  of  him  tattooed  on  his  back.

004. while  ace  could  spend  his  time  with  rouge  before  she  entrusted  him  to  garp  he  was  always  around  his  mom  when  she  was  cooking.  rouge  did  that  on  purpose  to  let  ace  see  and  memorize  the  recipes  she  used  to  gather  in  her  own  cookbook.  cooking  tradition  was  important  as  well  and  while  ace  isn't  the  most  skilled  cook  he  can  still  roughly  use  the  recipes  he  managed  to  learn  from  rouge.  of  course  ace  is  a  visual  learner  more  than  theoretical  because  of  him  struggling  to  understand  and  read  books  .  the  recipes  are  mostly  for  chilli,  stews.  all  his  mother  was  cooking  for  him  as  ace  was  leaning  on  the  counter  and  watching  he  can  do  as  an  adult.  the  recipes  she  wished  to  pass  to  him  mean  a  lot  and  ace  is  very,  very  much  firm  on  how  each  of  them  has  to  be  prepared.  even  if  others  are  willing  to  cook  this  for  him.  that's  why  he  always  kept  hanging  around  thatch  when  he  was  cooking  chilli  for  ace  on  the  moby  dick.  ace  was  silently  watching  if  thatch  follows  the  recipe  that  ace  shared  to  him.  whatever  rouge  taught  him  he  treats  very  very  seriously.

005. ace  treats  animals  like  friends.  he  is  a  hunter  but  he  would  never  disrespect  an  animal  or  be  cruel  to  them  as  a  person.  any  little  living  he  meets  he  wants  it  to  feel  like  a  friend  and  maybe  this  is  just  his  aura  but  animals  seem  to  have  a  very  special  connection  to  ace.  he  can  tame  them  very  quickly,  make  animals  comfortable  in  his  presence.  ace  loves  all  of  them,  and  treats  the  furry  friends  like  he  treats  his  family  or  important  people.  he  used  to  stop  by  islands  and  take  care  of  farm  animals  in  the  villages  he  went  through,  care  for  horses  or  ride  them  around.  you  want  to  piss  him  the  fuck  off  ?  try  to  hurt  or  disrespect  any  animal  in  front  of  him.  that'll  earn  you  a  burn  to  a  crisp.

006. ace  since  he  was  little  was  very  into  scrapbooking.  he  felt  like  this  is  a  great  way  to  keep  memories  stored  not  only  in  his  heart  but  a  book  he  wished  to  entrust  later  in  his  life  as  the  time  goes  on.  it  was  a  great  way  for  him  to  remember  some  minor  events  as  well,  since  ace  is  adhd  and  he  often  jumped  from  task  to  task  without  finishing  any  of  them.  he  felt  trapped  by  any  task  that  takes  longer  than  the  time  he's  able  to  maintain  focus  and  it  also  comes  with  very  short  memory.  ace  knew  he  can't  remember  everything  he  wished  to  remember  so  rouge  taught  him  scrapbooking  where  ace  started  to  slowly  store  memories.  he  got  the  little  book  from  his  mother  herself  with  already  small  details  decorating  the  first  few  pages  like  a  little  strand  of  ace's  first  grown  hair,  his  first  milky  tooth.  fond  memories  of  her  child  slowly  growing  up  and  ace  continued  it  since  he  got  brought  by  garp  to  the  goa  kingdom.  he  started  gathering  small  memories  not  only  about  his  first  hunts,  his  first  meeting  with  sabo  and  luffy  but  about  dadan  and  the  bandits  too.  everything  ace  managed  to  gather  as  a  memory  until  his  time  to  start  his  first  journey  came  around  the  corner,  before  leaving  he  left  the  book  with  makino  and  dadan.  he  didn't  need  it  because  he  felt  like  everything  he  wants  to  remember  is  already  sealed  in  his  heart.

007. it  also  comes  down  to  ace  being  a  person  tied  to  memoral  items.  like  his  red  bead  necklace  in  honor  of  dadan.  his  hunting  knife,  and  even  the  smileys  on  his  hat.  the  grin  and  frown  representing  two  different  emotions  that  ace  wants  to  remember.  because  feeling  sadness  just  like  happiness  makes  him  feel  like  he's  alive.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "New Year's message for you"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find a message that this new year wants to be delivered to you as it starts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL! May you stay blessed, healthy, safe and happy all year long. May you be able to see your dreams come true before your eyes.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - some piles are interconnected so if you feel called by more than one it's fine, you may find your messages divided among them.

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

Honeybun this year I want you to focus on doing a bit more for yourself. More of the things you enjoy, more of the things you can do to show yourself love and care: make yourself a cup of that drink you love, stay hydrated/eat well, make your bed carefully, take a long bath, read or watch a movie, start that course you wanted to try, go to that new shop/market you wanted to see, dance and sing, draw and paint, go for a walk, take a nap, give yourself accolades for all you've done until now. Give yourself small gifts here and there to show yourself how much you appreciate all you do and the person you are becoming. You deserve that. Working on yourself while handling relationships and life is not easy, and you're doing your best. Take a breath, take time for you and set your boundaries. You're giving a lot on the outside to others, and I'd like for you to learn how to include yourself more into that receiving side. Not everything others need has to be so impellent: give it the right importance. Give to yourself too, you are as deserving as anyone else just because you're alive now: you don't have to do anything in particular to deserve love and care. Remind yourself that is not perfection what you're aiming for, as it doesn't exist: mistakes are okay, they help you grow and better yourself. Be nice, be happy: beautiful things are coming. Stretch yourself out, take (up) your place/space in your life. P.S. I know you like to write, so write. Write it all down. You never know... Don't be scared of talking about yourself and your needs.

song: cure my desire | hannah wants, clementine douglas

Possible meeting of new people especially friends and especially if you've been alone for a while now in the most unexpected ways/places (maybe also while you're expressing yourself in some -even artistic- way: could be photography, writing, talking, taking notes, studying, classes/courses...), follow your guts.

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

Little cutie you're so lovely you have no idea. And you're hurt, even if maybe you're not entirely aware of the ways you are. But that's okay: it'll come to you with time. We don't have to know and understand everything immediatly: that'll be too much, don't you think? We need to let things move and develop at their own pace. And at our own pace too: we need to respect ourselves. I know for now you may just feel confused and hurt, and I'm sorry. But don't give up. What I can tell you is: I'm gonna be gentle with you. I'm gonna watch you grow and learn how to take care of you and of your past, step by step (baby steps!). Your inner child needs you so much... Don't shut them off, listen to them. Help them find the answers they seek and could never get. Help them receive the love and attention they deserve. Those bandages you put over your wounds are now in need to be removed and the wounds need a better healing. Let them go, don't hold onto them anymore. I know you feel so worned out now, but you will make it. You have no idea what can be born on a healing wound. Think about the cracks in the concrete and how flowers can born from them. You're the same. You have buildt up walls and confined yourself behind a rigid structure to protect yourself but now it's all starting to crumble: you're too sweet to not be willing to deal with others and receiving love. You need others, everyone does. Let it all crumble, let others come closer. You will know who to trust, trust yourself. You will know how to make flowers come out of that place of hurt, you will survive. You will make it. I love you.

song: release | editors

You have probably jaded yourself out of pain or have been jaded for a while, maybe you're finding out about triggers and traumas you may need to work on. I feel things will start to improve this year, you may be approached by good people. Some of you may also be approached by someone from their past trying to make things up: up to you if to let them in again in your life or not but please be aware of who they are now and keep in mind the pain they caused you. Stay grounded. I don't see much career/school-wise, probably it's not the main focus of the year or there aren't huge changes in sight as for now.

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Sweetheart, it's time to move. It's time to change, to travel. To see new places and experience new emotions. To start a new life. I know you want it too, you're hungry for all that at this point. It's time to travel in time as well: go to your past once more, it's almost done. Take care of your inner child and younger self, help them heal the last bits of pain. Love them and love your present self the same way, as they're still part of you. They still live inside of you: embrace them, embrace your whole self, embrace every part of you. And plan your future: don't let life and others decide your moves entirely. Listen to what they want to say and find the hidden meaning of what happens if you need, but then act according on your intuition. Trust yourself and your guts the most and be aware of others' real intentions and energy around you. Be graceful and delicate as you've always been but don't let anyone fool you, don't let their fears win you over, don't let your hurt self control you and hinder you. You already know it: it's time, it's time. It's time to shed a light onto what is hidden, onto what is dark; it's time for clarity, especially of your mind. Be open to receive, also new downloads from us. We're not leaving from your side, ever. It's our time too now. Be a ray of sunshine for everyone to see, be always lovely and warm with others as I know you are. Dream big and act even bigger.

song: set fire to the rain | adele

For some, strong love energy (possible counterpart/fs/long time partner-- their higher self may be in contact with you); also new start in career/change of career/start of business/change of school or way to study/results

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

Dear one, this year I would like you to focus on creating your new self, on crafting yourself with no fear of failure. You have all that you need, just let yourself see that and welcome who you are from within. Take time to know yourself/build up yourself again, if this is what you need now. You've been through a lot now so it's okay to be confused and maybe even angry. But do not give up on the amazing person you are. Shine bright, and let those who like you, see the real you. Let your real self out and be liked by others, and don't worry about how they may perceive you. I know it's hard and you only want to be accepted, as you are tired of feeling alone, but trust me: the moment you start embracing yourself, people will come at you, attracted by your amazing talents and abilities. You can't see them now, so please, go within to find them. You have plenty, trust me. Be nice and compassionate with yourself: you've been through a lot. And remember it's okay if it's going to take a little more time to get where you want: the path you will choose, will take you anywhere you want. Just don't let others' images of you make you change your mind. Life and relationships are pretty complex, and it's hard to get through them tbh. But you can make it, you can come out of the storm and you will. And out of this storm, you'll find exactly want you want. Even me.

song: le cose più rare | cosmo (at the end it keeps repeating "then maybe one day we'll meet again" and I think it may be important for someone of you, especially if about someone you're no longer in contact with/cannot be in contact with)

For some, there's possible love/partnership (also friends) in sight; career-wise you may receive an important offer and/or as said get into a partnership or find clients interested in what you offer (you may come up with that in a few months if you aren't still sure about it)

[stupidgalaxybrain]

If there's one thing I'm proud of as an artist, it's the fact I'm a style chameleon. I decided to sit down and recreate 4 artists I really love, and who better to do it with than with the most varied character in the entire franchise: King Dedede! This isn't just for appreciation though, but a study on how other people translate DDD's design, since character design is a passion of mine!

Let's start with @miniiieevee!

Oh my gosh their art is super great, and I think the most important part of getting the style right was the sparkles. I have never seen someone do highlights this way, and it's both super recognizable and super cute! For the King himself, we have a nice round beak, visibly blue eyes, a distinct head, pointed crown jewel, an undershirt, and stripes along the top of the belt. Like most of us, they use the (owo) kind of mouth and really fluff up the coat. Separate fingers can also show up for posing, following Spongebob physics. The stitching on the gloves and the little round eyebrows are another really cool touch! Out of all of the styles I looked at, this one has the most pastel colors.

-

Next is @das-a-kirby-blog!

Das-a-kirby-blog has such a cool variety in their work, from really shapey sketches to super abstracted color schemes, which while super amazing, didn't provide me the best ref material. The colors here are frankensteined from a few sources, so I hope they capture their actual base color palette. They go for the pin-shaped route for body shape, with the undershirt (though sometimes there's no under layer), typically black eyes, extra belt stripes, and a chunky diamond shaped crown jewel. My favorite touch is the cottonball on the crown. Like I said at the top, they excel at shapes in their art!

-

Third is @jojo-schmo!

I've been silently reading their roleswap comic, but I should've been loudly reading it because I super recommend it! I'd also say design wise their Dedede is the most unique! Besides myself they're the only one here to pick the kimono, they have a single blue stripe at the top of the belt, a triangular jewel, and the coolest element of the style, spirals! I've not seen anyone stylize the trim this way, and it's so cool in execution. Another unique element that really adds to certain expressions is the spiky teeth (which matches real life penguins! ...Don't look it up).

-

Last but not least, @cosmicwhoreo!

God, their art is everything. The flow of the lines is so clean and smooth and everything they draw is super expressive. Their Dedede is by far the hugest, and also marks the 4/5 DDDs with a separate head, and 3/5 with black eyes. We have the belt stripes, occasionally a shirt, and a smooth tear drop jewel, but a uniquely shaped crown band. This design sees a lot of influence from the anime unlike the others here, so the color scheme is the most unique.

-

As a conclusion, it's really cool to see all the different design elements that we pick and choose for DDD. Some give him his smash outfit. Some people give him a body type closer to K64 or KATFL. Some people draw his eye color, or separate eyebrows, and others don't. There's no detail that's the same across every version, but they're all our lovable king. If you don't recognize one of these artists, check them out! I can only do a fraction of the incredible work they do, and let me know if there's any other characters or artists you'd like to see this exercise with!

[floralcyanide]

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - 𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐲

cillian murphy x gn!reader

After a sleepless night, you decide it's finally time to leave your husband, Cillian. Based on the song Every Light in the House is On by Trace Adkins.

warnings: angst, failed marriage, depression

word count: 1583

authors note: this is kinda mehh but I had no idea what kind of angst to write that wouldn't be soul-crushing lol and I didn't want to do that to ya'll just yet!! but if you like this please give feedback <3 (of course I did not proof read I just depend on Grammarly to guide me through the darkness lmao)

main masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

“I told you I'd leave a light on in case you ever wanted to come back home. You smiled and said you appreciate the gesture.”

Deciding to leave has been one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. But it’s come to the point that you have to go- you’re no longer being treated the way you deserve and loved in the way you desire. Cillian’s career has reached a peak moment, and he’s been swamped for the last few years. He’s been studying J. Robert Oppenheimer for his role as him and has become Oppenheimer in a way. He’s distant, cold, and critical of everything. Cillian being occupied with studying and filming has made him a different person, a person you didn’t know. A person you no longer wanted to be married to.

You decided to wait until after the movie premiered to see if he’d change, but he didn’t. And it took you packing your things for him to begin waking up, metaphorically and literally. It was very early in the morning as you couldn’t sleep, and you finally got up from bed, digging out your luggage from the closet. You had been patiently and neatly folding your belongings and putting them in one of your suitcases for about two hours when Cillian first said something.

“Where are you goin’?” he asks, his accent thick from sleep.

“Away,” you say plainly.

“Away where?” Cillian sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes.

“From you,” you say, holding back tears.

A look of confusion crosses Cillian’s face, “What do you mean, love?”

It’s been ages since he last called you that, and the softness of his voice paired with the name sends tears rolling down your cheeks, “I’m leaving you, Cillian.”

Cillian is now climbing out of bed, all but tearing the covers off his body. He hurries to stand beside you, grabbing hold of your wrists, “What? W-why?”

“You aren’t you anymore. You’re not lively or happy as much as you used to be. I thought maybe you were getting old on me, but now I realize you’re just growing bored.”

“I could never be bored of you, sweetheart,” Cillian looks at you, his eyes softening, his salt and pepper hair tousled in a mess.

“Really? When was the last time we had sex, then?”

Cillian pauses, and a look of defeat crosses his features, “A while.”

“It’s been years, Cillian. At first, it wasn’t a big deal, but as time passed, I realized how long it had been. The last time was when we were in quarantine two years back,” you say, letting your tears fall freely now, “Of course, sex isn’t as important to me as you being you. And you just haven’t been the same for the last few years.”

Cillian nods slowly, taking in your words, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, let me make it up to you. Please?”

“It’s too late,” you frown, finishing your folding and closing the first suitcase, “It’s been so long already. And whenever I tried talking to you about it, it was like talking to a brick wall.”

You pull the suitcase off the bed and place it with the other luggage on the floor. Cillian then realizes you’d been packing for a while during his sleep. He hardly remembers you trying to talk to him about your relationship- hell, he hardly remembers anything from the last three years, really. But he doesn’t doubt that you did. He doesn’t think you’d ever lie to him, even if he probably deserves harsh punishment. You leaving him, he’s decided, is punishment enough.

“Will you ever come back?” Cillian inhales sharply, trying not to get visibly upset as he follows you down the stairs.

“I don’t know.”

If Cillian knows anything about you, it’s that once you’ve made up your mind on something, there’s no going back. And he knows that even if he gets on his knees and begs you to stay or cries his eyes out as he holds you close to him, you are still leaving. There’s nothing he can do about it except give you time.

“It’s still dark out, so be careful,” Cillian says, watching as you bring down the remainder of your things from your shared bedroom, “I’ll leave a light on, you know, in case you change your mind.”

He knew that you wouldn’t change your mind, though. But it was worth a shot.

“I appreciate the gesture,” you say, looking Cillian in the eyes.

Cillian looks down at the floor, and you sigh, unlocking the front door as you move your luggage to the front porch. Your best friend was picking you up, and you’d stay with them for the time being. Being away from Cillian will be hard, as you’ve been together all your lives. But you needed to do this for you.

“Every light in the house is on just in case you ever do get tired of bein' gone.”

“If I should ever start forgettin', I'll turn the lights off one by one. So you can see that I agree, it's over.”

It’s only been a few days since you left, but it’s felt like an eternity for Cillian. The house is eerily silent without you playing his vinyl and singing along or you humming as you clean the house. The TV isn’t playing a documentary or a show you’re binging anymore, mail piles up at the front door where the slot is, and dishes sit in the sink. A layer of dust is already coating photographs and knick-knacks, some of which were yours. Cillian is a mess and a half without you. He kept his promise, though. He left the porch light on for you. Also, the lamp at the front door, the lamps in the living room, the kitchen nightlight, the hall light, and the lights in the bedroom were kept on, too. You could probably see the glow of the house from the road. The home you two used to share is like a bright sunny day, contrasting with the darkness outside because of all the lights being left on. 

Every day, Cillian sits in his office, reading a book and checking the time every five minutes. He also checks the window to see if your best friend’s car is there or if you are approaching the front door. But the car is never there, and you aren’t either.

After a few weeks of no sign or word from you and a higher electric bill, lights in the house slowly begin to be turned off. Cillian is more of a shell himself now than he was when you were together. He realized that he had been exhausted and inside his head too much, and that’s why he didn’t give you the attention you rightfully deserved. Cillian decided he would work on it, and if it would bring you back, then he’d do anything. But slowly, he began to give up on you ever coming back. Even if he did work on himself. So, he turned off the hall light, after that, the kitchen nightlight, and then the lamps in the bedroom. 

“Every light in the house is on just in case you ever do get tired of bein' gone.”

The night that the very last light is on- the porch light- Cillian is heading to bed and decides perhaps he should finally turn it off. It’s been months now with no word from you. No calls, no letters, nothing. It’s time. When he goes to the front door, he sees something, no, someone at the door through the side windows. At this time of night, there is only one person it can be, but he won’t believe it until he sees it. He unlocks the door and pulls it open, and there you stand. Cillian can’t believe his eyes.

“You left the light on?” you ask, a tearful smile on your face.

It’s been raining and still is, and you’re soaked from head to toe just from the short walk from your friend’s car to the front door. Your wet hair is sticking to your face, and Cillian thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now.

“Of course,” Cillian says, “Every light in the house was on at one point.”

“So I heard,” you chuckle, shaking your head at him and his sweet yet sometimes dramatic gestures.

“Are you here to stay?”

“Maybe,” you say, crossing your arms, “How has it been without me?”

“Horrible,” Cillian says immediately, “Quiet and dreadful. The grass isn’t quite as green without you here, and the birds don’t come to visit anymore.”

You laugh at the sad yet poetic way Cillian has made the house seem without you in it, “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah,” Cillian frowns, “I’ve missed you terribly.”

“I know. That’s why I’ve come to see you,” you say, turning around and waving off your friend so they could leave, “For a little while, at least.”

“Any time with you is time well-spent,” Cillian smiles.

This is the Cillian you’ve been missing, the witty and sweet man who’d do anything to see you smile. You come inside with your bag, and Cillian quickly runs upstairs to run you a warm bath, turning on every light as he goes. You notice there were no lights on in the house until you walked through the front door. Now, the whole place is alight again. You hope it’ll stay that way.

taglist:

@baizzhu @aporiasposts @queenshelby @orijanko @raineeace @nela-cutie @langdons-slut

[elysiansparadise]

hiii i love and appreciate the time and effort you put into every post so i'd just like to ask if you could make a mercury in the 5h post? i would love your insight! thank you in advance <3

Hello love, thanks for your comments and of course I can. 🤎

Mercury in the 5th house

Mercury in this house gives us a multi-talented personality, these people can stand out in a wide variety of branches and favor them to be recognized for the talent they present in any of them. Among these talents we stand out for comedy, writing, acting, some science or as communicators in general. These people may have the ability to do many things at the same time. They are endowed with a lot of charisma and charm, they have that facility to charm others and leave them curious to know more about the native. They have a very unique and fun way of communicating, it is easy for them to attract the attention of others when they speak, share their opinion or tell something personal. They love to talk about personal experiences in one-on-one conversations, as well as learning more about themselves and getting to know each other in depth. They are very curious people who enjoy learning, they can be more visual when learning, even kinesthetic in some cases. Their intellect is very fast and they can have fast reflexes, they realize things more quickly. They love mental challenges and things that are complex for them, because the simple and mundane bores them. The dubbing, the movies, can attract their attention. Reading can be a hobby, especially if Mercury is in an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) or aspecting Moon, Saturn or Neptune.

They are very spontaneous people and have a particular charm when it comes to improvising. Creativity is something worth noting about them, their mind seems to be very active and full of new ideas and plans, they love the idea of ​​leaving their mark on the world and in any of their relationships. They stand out for their intellect and abilities, they could be students who stood out for this or have been popular/liked by others in their class. Despite this, they do not usually have the reputation of people who are too focused on studies, many people can see them as a midpoint between fun and work. People don't get bored easily with them, as they know how to keep things exciting, this of course includes love relationships and courtship. They are naturally captivating people, they can seem (or on many occasions be) very flirtatious and captivating with their words. They can flirt in a lethal way, and are capable of making anyone nervous with a simple smile or glance. Some of them may have a lot of knowledge on the subject of love, and it is very common for others to ask them for their advice or point of view. Counselors of love, could have played as cupid once in their lives. 

Although they do not like to admit it, they are people who constantly think about love and tend to plan a lot regarding their love life. Tendency to overthink things about love, their own abilities, and even the idea of ​​having children. In case they decide to have children, they can be very astute, quick learners, curious, sociable and very talkative with the native. More than one child is likely with this placement, and more so if Mercury is in a mutable sign (Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo or Pisces) or in a water sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces again). For them it is very important to say what crosses their minds, they do not like the idea of ​​staying silent and not being able to give their opinion. They can talk before they think. They stand out for their honesty when interacting with others, they will not pretend to like you if they do not, and many times their frankness can be a blow to others. They may enjoy reading or writing about romance or drama/thriller. On some occasions they can give the impression of being people with a very busy lifestyle or specifically a very busy love life, people may think that they have many suitors (enhanced if the native has Libra, Pisces or Taurus Venus, if Venus is conjunct Mercury or if Venus rules the 5th house).

-> Go back to the masterlist

[sttoru]

to the 😶 anon i just wanted to say that you are so so strong for everything that you're going through and don't listen to the speech therapist !! ik they're technically qualified but a good therapist (speech or not) would never give up on their client or at the very least refer them to someone more qualified and trained.

i'm absolutely appalled and disgusted by their unprofessional behaviour, and please don't let them make you feel disheartened or like you'll never be able to speak again. i really and truly believe you can and you will no matter what, no one is beyond helping and that's the first thing we learn as psychologists/therapists.

trauma responses are incredibly tricky, especially ones like selective mutism. but if you haven't already i'd recommend seeing a psychotherapist alongside a new and better speech therapist. i'm not exactly sure how speech therapy works where you're based, but from what i know they're not specialised in dealing with the more psychological aspects of it, like with it being a result of trauma.

if you work to unpack the underlying cause of it first it could prove to be a lot more useful than just speech therapy alone. honestly from experience cbt does wonders and i'd highly recommend finding a good and qualified psychotherapist that specialises in ptsd/trauma responses. maybe put the speech therapy on pause for now and recuperate and when you're ready and comfortable look for a psychotherapist.

working at your own pace is so incredibly important and know that it doesn't matter how long you take, the road to recovery is a process that can't be rushed and a small improvement is still improvement!! even going back a couple steps is essential to progress and healing so please don't feel like it's not possible. it absolutely is and it's well within your reach.

i know i'm just a stranger on the internet but i really and truly believe you can do this and you've got this. i am so so proud of you for everything you've endured and i really hope that you report that speech therapist to their board or something. genuinely disgusting behaviour tbh i cannot believe it.

anyways i hope you feel better really soon and don't lose hope !! wishing you all the best forever and always <33

(also wishing you the best my lovely and i hope you're doing well too !! i hope you don't mind me sending such a long ask but as someone who's training to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully god willing) it genuinely fills me with such rage when i see rude therapists. you studied for so long and chose that occupation yourself how dare you treat clients/patients that way smh. anyways sending you all my love <33)

awwwww, its rlly nice of u to send such an encouraging message to the anon <3 you have a heart of gold 😽

i hope they read this and understand that what their previous therapist has said, was bullshit. finding a good therapist or psychologist, who’s certified to treat such cases, is so important and i hope they find that person. everyone deserves a chance for proper treatment !

thank you for speaking up and i bet its 100% appreciated ^_^ inshallah you’ll become the clinical psychologist you desire to be x and i’m sure you will bcs u r a sweetheart mwah

[ursaspecter]

Danny Phantom a Glitch in Time Spoiler Free First Impressions Review

I'm in the hospital right now, so I won't be able to really sink my teeth into any analysis yet so bear with me on that front. But oh my god what a way to continue the series after 16 years of being cancelled!

I can definitely tell that this was made by and for fans of the show, and they had fun doing it too! Is it a groundbreaking mindblowing story? No, but I don't think Danny Phantom needs to be either of those things. It's a fun campy teen superhero drama comedy. There are some darker elements to it, but at the end of the day it's a lighthearted romp and I think it's important to keep that in mind!

That being said I think this is a great start to hopefully a series of these graphic novels. Danny Phantom has always took inspiration from comics like Spider-Man, so I think it's only fitting that these characters work so well in this medium. I also think it's a great way to make the series more accessable seeing as the original show does has its problems with flashing lights and overstimulation. The comic medium takes away those problems and gives the characters some room to breathe.

Speaking of characters, it's like they're taken right from the show and put into the page! I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see these characters actually be in character instead of what the fandom thinks their character is. Of course I loved seeing Dan again, or I guess he's Phantom now officially? I always wanted to see his return ever since I was 12 watching the show for the first time, but he never showed up! Well, now my 12 year old self can rest easy knowing he has such a great return to the series.

The art is just amazing as well. I love that the designs are updated but still stay true to Steven Silver's original work. Everyone feels more expressive and emotional, and the poses feel more fluid and dynamic. I think one limitation of the show's art style is how stiff and firm the characters felt.

Without getting too much into spoiler territory, I really appreciate how this decided to address Phantom Planet. Like it or not, it (and Season 3 as a whole) are still part of the series. It happened and we just have to accept that. Or maybe we don't anymore thanks to the ending! In any case, I think it was a smart way to handle the giant disasteroid elephant in the room so we can move on.

It was a bit of a quick read, but keep in mind this is intended for kids, and I'm an adult with an adult reading level. And that's perfectly fine! I'd rather have an action comic be snappy and have more punch than it overstay its welcome with a 900 page in depth character study of everyone's childhood trauma. It does a good job of being what it is, and I can't wait to see where the series goes next!

Also there was a cowboy part. Y'all know I love my cowboys. As soon as I get discharged and back home I'm gonna draw the gang in their western outfits. Except a little more historically accurate. Seriously, where 👏 were 👏 the 👏 suspenders 👏

Overall I give it a solid 7.5/10 based on my first read!

[bedoballoons]

Thanksgiving is coming soon! Maybe an appreciation message to each and every one of your anons? Or just your favs! Also thank you for always writing all the requests! Good work!

I was actually going to do something like this!! In truth I'm thankful for everyone who interacts with my blog, followers, people who leave notes and especially people who request things! All of them combined make me want to write my heart out and I feel incredibly lucky.

Anons...gosh my anons make my world go around, I wake up everyday so excited to see what messages I have from them, what chaos is going on in their lives. It's no lie when I say I love them <3

PREPARE FOR THE LONG POST PEOPLE

So special words for them:

Fairy anon: I'm so thankful you joined the anons, ever since that day you first started chatting I have just grown to appreciate you more and more. You bring a sense of sweetness and innocence to the anons, and you constantly ask how we are all doing. I don't think you could ever know how much seeing your "how is everyone doing today"s has brought me comfort even when I wasn't having such a good day. You're such a incredible person and I hope you know that 🩷

Sleepy anon: You're always a wild card, wether you're joining in on the simping or bringing out a new topic and I truly adore that because it keeps things fresh and shows more about how interesting of a person you are. I worry about your sleep schedule (because at this point I truly consider you all my adopted internet children and I only want the best for you), but other than that it's you who's always worried about others. Reminding me to take care of myself and rest when I need to has really helped me and I appreciate it, thank you 💙

Ramen anon: I notice you don't talk as often as the others do, meaning they probably don't know that you're actually my blood relative, my brother. I don't even truly know if I can put into words how much I love you man, you are the one who told me to write more...to follow my heart and helped me through some pretty dark times. If it weren't for I might not have met all these amazing people. Thank you for being my bro, for being so incredible to me ❤️

Donut cat: One of my very first anons ever and honestly one of the craziest too. There have been days where I felt so sad and then I'd see your asks in my inbox, talking about feet and police officers...LEGS AND NOW BOOBAS TOO. I just burst out laughing, you are one of my main sources of entertainment and I don't think I've ever had someone make me giggle as much as you have. Thank you donut cat, never change okay 🧡

Bananon: I think out of all the anons you've revealed the most about yourself, you're always involved in the conversation and talking about your life and I find it inspiring. You're brave and even when fighting illnesses and studies that probably have your head hurting, you always make time to stop in and talk to everyone. I love seeing what you're up to and I always want the best for you, thank you for being a inspiration and a important part of this anon family 💜

Fox anon: I'm not sure if you'll see this, but I'm thankful for having met you, for being able to read all of your many brain rotting ideas. I miss you to say the least, but I also see your name pop up sometimes in my notifications. Likes or reblogs, I see it and I smile to myself. I hope you're doing okay and you know you're always a joy to talk to 💖

New anons: Starstruck, Mushroom, Pancake! I'm already so appreciative of you all! From how funny pancake anon is when it comes to Heizou, to how sweet starstruck is, to how quiet mushroom anon is! You've all become apart of this group and I can't wait to learn more about you and chat with you about more fun things! Thank you for giving me that opportunity

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

(I won't lie...I teared up writing this. You are all the most amazing people ever...thank you for everything <3)

[cescalr]

hello dearest! <3 for the ask game:

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

How long is your longest fic?

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Hey mate <3

1; So, as someone who is currently studying creative writing at university, the lack of community.... I guess, response fanfic tends to get these days (beyond a very appreciated Loved this!!!!!11!1!1 which of course <3 thank you random commenter person. but also. what about it did you love.) isn't as - er, frustrating as it could otherwise be, since I get feedback on my writing from professional academics on assignments and such. Basicaly - I actually really miss FFN calling it 'reviews' instead of comments, because that encouraged people to actually... tell me things. And not just spam letters. And i love the letter spamming! keysmashes are nice :) But i always remember the comments that talk about the fic more than the ones that just flatter me. Like, yes, flattery will get you quite far opposed to popular aphorisms, but er I'd also like to know if my sentence structure flows nicely. That would be useful. I like getting feedback as much as support, the lack of the former can be a bit awkward though because it means I don't know what I need to change to improve my work. As someone who wants to storytell just like, in general, outside of fanfic, that's kind of important! Support is great. Love support. Would also love feedback if people were willing to give it <3.

Oh!!!!!!!! Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay. So. I don't know if saying you and viv would be cheating or not (or count as nepotism? hey besties <3 <3 <3 hehe) sooooo you guys are honourable mentions <3 but okay, so - in absolutely no particular order, and nowhere near all the people i could rec;

Ꝥ. esama | Archive of Our Own !!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 281 works of impeccable quality and substantial wordcount, you'd be remiss in saying Esama was anything but prolific, especially given those cover roughly 66 fandoms, give or take Ao3's consideration of things like Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts as separate media franchises......... hmmm. Anyway. Really really great author. Go check out their works!! trust me. They'll have at least 1 thing you'll enjoy. My personal favourites are all assassins creed fics, but they have hp and mcu fics, too bestie so yk. Specifically i recommend Wizards IN SPACE - I mean, it is quite literally called Wizards. IN SPACE. what is not to love about that premise? The writing is A* tier, to boot. <3 esama is basically the reason I write fanfic. Give 'em a look-see; they're also here on tumblr, as @/esamastation :). Good to give a follow - they're much more consistent at posting when they make new fic/chapters on their tumblr than I've ever been on mine, lol.

Ƿ. For someone else who is also here on tumblr (and may or may not count as nepotism. I don't actually know the definition of nepotism. Hi tumblr mutual of mine, lol!) Is freddieslater | Archive of Our Own. I will read almost anything they write for fandoms I know, and have read things for fandoms I don't know one even small thing about just because they wrote it. RJ's style is just superb, and their ability to write fic you can completely understand even if you don't know the fandom is really grand. Good glee & TVD fic is hard to find, lemme tell ya that right now, and theirs is superb! Remus is also here on tumblr, under the same username :). Hence. You know. Being mutuals and all.

Ł. This is a curveball. Something to throw you off your game. I'm going to recommend an FFN author who only recently migrated to Ao3 that writes solely SI fics. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Some of the first fics I remember fully reading all the way through were this guy's work, so I think it's only fair to give him a shout. Soleneus | FanFiction. I haven't read all his fics for reasons that should make themselves... very clear upon looking at his account, but the fics I have read, namely the Fallout and Mass Effect series plus the Worm fic (a franchise i actually know nothing about; some kind of grimdark superhero thing I think - prior knowledge was not stated as necessary, and I read way too much fic for things I've never seen. Bestie why am I telling you this like you don't already know that?) are genuinely really well done series and some of the best examples of how to get an SI/OC fic to work without being all mary sue and shit. [or marty stu, in this case, I suppose?]. I'm going to be frank and say not every rec for an author I give recs all their works - I'd avoid his HP stuff because his view on the series is diametrically opposed to mine, for example. But that doesn't mean that what is there isn't worth at least a gander. I'm of a mind that you should give fic a chance even if the summary or whatever sounds strange; this might come from the fact I first started reading fic on things like FFN and Twisting The Hellmouth, which didn't have filterable tags and people would just straight up lie in the four-characters-allowed-here section so more people would find their fic, so.... I've ended up reading a lot of stuff I wouldn't recommend. But you find things that come from a different perspective than your own to a franchise you love, and that can be interesting! My views on the worlds of ME and Fallout are vastly different from his, but his fics for them are far better than anything I could ever write for them. His worldbuilding is seriously solid stuff, and honestly his characters are pretty good. SIs get a bad rep, I think, because of things like the shitty reincarnated as harry potter or whatever and just be an asshole for 40 chapters trope, but it can be done properly, and Sol achieves that. I really enjoyed the Fallout and Mass Effect series when I read them, 'bout... half a decade ago lmao, but still - those would be the ones I'd say to take a look-see at.

3. Hm. I actually think it would be in that order; Characters drive the story for me. Their emotions and thoughts and things all drive the action - but, then, that's just standard story structure (according to my Novel module lecturer, anyway). My style specifically is.... interrogative? I like Putting People In Situations and Making Them Do Bad Things For Fun And Profit [Angsty Entertainment]. I can go chapters without dialogue, though I love writing it, because writing gives you the unique ability to see right into the character's thoughts, unlike in things like film where that's more difficult (or awkward - just look at the narrated version of Blade Runner, lmao). You can, I guess, wallow. My writing style is brooding alksdjf;alskdfj;alskdfj; god. I can't escape the vampire allegations /joke. Er. Hm. I like fun things :) Like making my blorbos suffer :) But they'll be happy in the end so it's okay :). Also - I write romance, sure, but I tend to use romance as a way to look into the characters involved. It's sort of more a tool than the main draw, which is why my steo never gets anywhere close to dating alsdkjf;alksdfj;asdf oh well.

4. My longest fic is For What It's Worth. This should not be a surprise, given it's a rewrite of HP5 -> 7. It is currently 91 ,527k, with the wip next (and fucking final, jeez) chapter has about 3, 517k words atm, but that's nowhere near how many it's going to have. Harry's not even left Privet Drive yet! It's still early summer!! Also, If you count the side stories, 100, 576k is the wordcount for the series - so that boosts the collective count to 104,093. So. This fic is long enough on it's own, but it's over 100k when the in-continuity and arguably-part-of-the-fic side stories are included. Oof. (Nowhere near all that long a fic in comparison to many of the things I read, though. Read a 2 mil word star wars fic once. Very good fic! I don't remember what it's called.)

5. I write in the order I write; sometimes I write chronologically, start of fic to end of fic. Sometimes I write a scene and then find where It goes much later on - that happened in Keeping This; the fic got piecemealed together over a course of. A While. And one of the scenes sort of... towards the middle? I wrote way before it showed up. You can see this in my Journey Across the Dimensions WIP ficlet collection fic (that i really should separate out and make an actual series, instead of one of those fuckawful fic collection fics. I am the problem). But most fics I just write in order. FWIW's first two chapters - 32k words before the edit, down to 29k - were done in a single session on one Sunday. Like, 10am to 4pm or something like that. I don't remember that was in 2018!!! I can't remember that far back!!!! I have the brain of a forgetful goldfish!!! A sieve a cat got it's claws on!!!

Thanks for the ask bestie <3 <3 <3

[wannastayugly]

hi! i have a question/advice request about making fanart, i’ve been following you for quite some time, and i REALLY love your digital art, from the style to the way you work your colors, really everything about it is so wonderful and amazing.

I’ve been doing fanart for 3 years now, and i have a somewhat similar style to yours, the thing is, i spend a lot of time finishing a small part of the painting, like, A LOT of time, to the point where it becomes boring and discouraging and i end up abandoning the piece altogether.

My question is, is this normal? i know the more practice you get the better you become, but sometimes it feels like i’m stuck just painting a nose for a week, and i feel like i can’t get the result that i want unless i spend an astronomical amount of time on it. i’m asking you specifically because you were my main inspiration to start and make my own fanart, whenever i see one of your fanart pieces i get inspired to start a painting, and then it takes a long time and i stop, and the cycle repeats. So i would really appreciate any advice or tips <3

Firstly I thank you very, very much for your appreciation for my art. I've said this already, but hearing I'm inspiring someone else to be creative is one of the best things I can get as an artist! So thank you, this is super lovely and it's an honor to read messages like yours!

-

Before I talk more, I'd like to remind you there's no "normal" when it comes to art. Some will take hours to paint something, others days, or weeks. That depends a lot on your style, your skills, if you know or don't know what exactly you want for that painting, and even on the quality of the references you're using sometimes. We'd need to see what exactly you're struggling with, it's hard to give an advice when I don't know you nor your work. So everything I'll say here will come from my personal experience with my own style, and what I learned when I felt something like you're describing to me, ok? I hope it helps! And you can come back and ask me to talk more about about specific themes if you'd like!

-

1. You can make little studies before starting the actual painting! Thumbnail studies. Sometimes we spend a lot of time fixing mistakes we made in the beginning; sometimes the direction of the light isn't great, sometimes the angle you chose isn't the best. You can prevent that by studying that composition as a first step.

2. You need image references. You don't need to follow them exactly as they are, but you should have references to remind you what the volumes of a face look like depending on where your light source is, or how skin texture and colors look like under sunlight. Using referentes is extremely important when working with realism, because most of the sensation of realism comes from the way you build volumes/light and shadows and not from the details nor the blending.

3. You need to find out what painting process fits you. My process right now is totally based on classical oil painting techniques: getting the proportions right when I'm sketching, getting the general volumes right with light and shadows, with a neutral color, and only then adding more colors and working on textures and smaller volumes and details. A step-by-step process can help you to focus on what you want from each one of those steps, one by one, and correct mistakes earlier.

4. Don't try finishing one part before going to another! Always zoom out at the beginning and work on your painting as a whole, and when detailing try going from one part to another. That'll prevent you to get bored early and it helps giving your painting a more homogenic feeling.

5. Painting in a style that demands you to blend everything and add skin texture, body hair, fabric texture... That can be exhausting. Remember you should take breaks from painting, but also from that painting specifically. You can have more than one WIP at the same time and switch between then. That helps a lot, because you'll be solving different problems on each painting and you'll always come back with fresh eyes and new ideais to incorporate into your works.

6. Remember there are many different art styles we can call "realistic", and also that we can work in many of different ways to build that visual sensation. There's no need to blend everything! A good tip is finding a nice brush that leaves a beautiful texture behind, something you won't feel the need to erase later. You can also work with larger canvas sizes and save your work in smaller scales, in a way those brush textures won't really show up that much.

7. You can play with different art styles! I do that a lot and it helps me to keep interest in the styles I work with the most. It's nice to think differently sometimes; to find a different kind of challenge. It's refreshing! There are also moments it's important for us to ask ourselves what exactly we love about and want from what we're creating. If you feel you're questioning everything too much, or that you just can't get satisfaction from your process anymore, allow yourself to venture finding new references, experimenting with completely new styles and techniques. Finding out what you want with your art is almost a journey of self-discovery. I myself am questioning the importance of over detailing and blending right now, something I held onto for years, and I'm definitely making a style transition. If that's your case, it's completely normal and healthy! Embrace it, allow yourself to do what you really feel like doing, or to just go crazy and make the most random art ever until you find yourself in your art again.

8. You're doing great. ❤

[genshinimpactlife]

Hello! could i request a matchup w a male genshin character?

I’m an ISFJ (they/she) who grew up around fishermen. As an immigrant, I view the land around me as my heritage, so going outdoors is very important to me! I studied marine bio in college & have a particular fondness for boats. When I’m not spearfishing or feasting on truckloads of salmon, you can usually find me at the tidepools, geeking out at all the cool nudibranchs, anemones and hermit crabs! 

Hmm… appearance-wise, I tower over my family at a good 6’2’’. Tanned skin. Lanky. Hazel eyes. Dark hair that grows curly when exposed to salt water. Mom used to give me grief about my hands since they’re all callused and scabby with minor incisions & bruises (that’s what you get when your work is outside lol). 

People say I have a resting sad face. I prefer listening to opening up (as a kid, I used to get scolded for talking too much). On my desk there's an outdated planner I use for jotting down my friends' birthdays. Empathy & open-mindedness go a long ways with me. I'm neurodivergent. Many of my immediate family members are neurodivergent or have physical disabilities, so being different is something that has in a lot of ways come to define my life. I've had to reframe my perspective many, many times. I'm still a work in progress. All I want is for them to understand that I love them deeply.

At home, I like to hum or sing to self-soothe. I journal meticulously, and my room is plastered w dumb stickers like "$5 CHARGE FOR WHINING!” and “NO THONGS – Except on Shoes.” Also, lots of maps & birdwatching field guides from my travels.

Thank u for reading this long-ass thing – I don't have much experience requesting on tumblr so plz ignore if i did anything wrong >_<. Wishing u a pleasant winter solstice!! –🐟 anon

I would match you with...

You and Tighnari would spend most of your time together outdoors.

He's found a new appreciation for marine life and loves sitting by the tidepools with you looking at all the different creatures.

He wouldn't mind that you also towered over him. It wasn't even something that crossed his mind till someone else brought it up.

He would understand that you don't open up or talk as much, but he would always encourage you to talk more with him.

Your humming and singing to self-soothe has also become soothing for him.

Tighnari would be very curious about your heritage and ask questions, wanting to learn more about you and your family line.

He asked you to teach him how to spearfish, and he picked it up surprisingly fast. It's now become a go-to activity for the two of you.

Hi 🐟 anon! Its always nice to get a new anon here <3 I almost studied marine biology when I went to college as well but ended up changing my mind as I'd have to move far away for it. I hope you enjoy your matchup!

[princessmia-tarot]

Hi Mia, my initials are NS. I have been really confused about what academic or career path I am going to take. I generally feel left behind. Can you give me any guidance? Thank you in advance 🏹🩷

Hello NS,

Before I begin if you or anyone who sees this reading could respond to this poll, it would be much appreciated (open 3rd-10th Oct) <3.

I'd be happy to offer you some guidance regarding your academic and career path using the symbolism of the Four of Cups.

The Four of Cups is a card that often represents contemplation, introspection, and a period of reassessment. In the context of your question about your academic and career path, it suggests the following insights and guidance:

Seeking Clarity: The Four of Cups indicates that you may currently be in a phase of seeking clarity about your academic and career choices. It's entirely normal to feel uncertain at times, especially when making important life decisions.

Exploring Options: This card encourages you to explore various options and opportunities. Consider what truly excites and motivates you. Take the time to research different fields, industries, or courses of study that align with your interests and passions.

Reflect on Your Goals: Take a step back and reflect on your long-term goals and aspirations. What are your dreams and ambitions? What kind of impact do you want to make in your chosen field? Understanding your goals can help you make more informed decisions.

Don't Rush the Process: The Four of Cups reminds you not to rush the decision-making process. It's okay to take your time and carefully weigh your options. Sometimes, a period of introspection is necessary to gain clarity.

Consider Personal Growth: Think about how each academic or career path aligns with your personal growth and development. Will it challenge you, inspire you, and help you evolve as an individual?

Seek Guidance: Don't hesitate to seek guidance from career counselors, mentors, or professionals in your areas of interest. They can provide valuable insights and advice to help you make informed choices.

Mindset Shift: Sometimes, the Four of Cups can indicate that you might be overlooking opportunities that are right in front of you. It could be beneficial to shift your mindset and see your current circumstances in a new light.

Remember that the path to your academic and career goals is a journey, and it's natural to have moments of uncertainty. Embrace this phase of introspection as an opportunity for personal growth and discovery. Keep exploring, stay open to new possibilities, and trust that you will find the path that resonates with your heart and ambitions. 🌟📚🚀

xx

Mia💗

- - - - - - - - - 

★ To see status of free readings click here

★ CHECK OUT MY NEW SHOP SECTION: PRESET QUESTIONS - FUN THEMES

★ LOVE how much information is in these free readings? Check out my ETSY to get even more information, clarification and messages. USE CODE TUMBLR20 FOR 20% OFF 

★ Interested in spells and chakras? Check out my spells on offer 

★ If you feel called, please follow and share my blog and/or Etsy so more people have the opportunity for guidance ❤️

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

[the-last-airblender]

Chapter 7: Desert desires

You nearly jump when he finally breaks the silence, anger just radiating from his modulated voice. ‘Who did this to you?’

This is part of the Run series, check out the masterlist for the previous chapters. You can also read it on AO3.

Pairing: The Mandalorian/Din Djarin x reader

Word count: 10,6k

Notes: Oof this fic is so serious and dark! I promise the next one will be more light-hearted :) Can you tell I've been using Wookiepedia religiously hahaha. Forgive the jumps in time, I refrained from describing some bits (for now) to prevent this chapter from becoming even longer than it already is. Don't hesitate to leave a comment, I'd really appreciate it <3

Warnings: mutual pining, angst, fluff, violence, torture, injuries, drugs

~

~

The world is swaying. Heat. Sand scratches his skin underneath his clothes. His eyes squint against the bright light coming through his visor. Hands grabbing at his helmet. Panic rises in his stomach as he feels it move and he weakly swats them away.

'No', he rasps.

'Buddy, you must be dehydrated', a voice somewhere far away says, as someone tries to lift his helmet again. 'Let me give you some water.'

He manages to catch the wrist. 'No.'

'Suit yourself', the voice grumbles.

While the rest of his consciousness slowly comes back to him, so do the rest of his senses. Even his helmet can’t keep out the vaguely familiar, disgusting smell that makes him want to gag, but it’s not the most important thing on his mind right now. He tries to sit up, but only succeeds thanks to two strong hands belonging to the man next to him, who he can finally see more clearly. Dressed for the desert they’re obviously in (the heat and the sand already gave that away), the man is wrapped in simple, loose-fitting robes, with a white scarf to protect his head against the sun. His skin is almost as dark as Din’s clothes and bumps in the headscarf betray the presence of two horns, but his eyes are the most striking thing about him: they’re completely yellow and his pupils are narrow and vertical, much like a reptile. Besides that, they are worried right now and he shouts something in his native language to someone behind them. Din follows the words and finally sees where the smell is coming from: they’re sitting on a hovering cart pulled by an eopie, a high-legged desert creature known for its flatulence. It’s being ridden by a woman with a long braid, who has turned around and is studying Din curiously.

‘He lives’, she muses.

The man smiles broadly. ‘He does.’

The cart is stocked with cargo, leaving just enough room for the two men to sit. These people must be merchants or nomads who happened to be passing through the part of the desert he and you ended up in. 

‘The woman-’ He coughs. ‘The woman who was with me…’

‘We got her’, the man reassures him, pointing over the stack of crates. ‘Look, my eopie is pulling the other cart.’

Indeed, another eopie has been tied to this vehicle.

‘She’s not doing too well, though’, he continues worriedly. ‘We did all we could, but… I’m not sure if it will be enough. No, no, don’t try to get up.’ He gently presses Din down into a sitting position again. ‘There’s nothing you can do for her right now. We’re almost in Naetis, where she can get the best care possible.’

Din automatically reaches for the stab wound in his side, which seems to have been treated. The bacta has already done a wonderful job of closing up parts of the cut and the pain, though still present, is manageable. But your condition was way worse and he’s not sure if all the bacta in the world could save your life before you get to a hospital. 

Then the words of his saviour sink in and he turns to the man with a frown. ‘Did you say Naetis?’

~

It takes you quite a while to realise you’re awake. 

Sunlight peaks through a window to your right and warms your face. For a second, you think you’re back in your bedroom on Duugan and half expect to hear Avlin calling you for dinner. But this isn’t a regular afternoon nap. This is something else. Something bad.

You try lifting your hand and it takes all your strength to bring it within your field of vision. For some reason your limbs weigh a thousand pounds and as you look at your hand, it starts to dawn on you that the world just feels… off. As if you’ve been drowned in honey. 

Like when Denis spiked your drink.

Your right lower arm is even heavier than your left and the reason becomes clear when you see the white cast around it. The sound of the bone cracking as a heavy boot landed on it seems to resonate in your ears still and it sends a chill down your spine. A tube leading to a bag containing a clear fluid hanging from a pole next to your bed is coming out of the back of your left hand. By Qalla, how long have you been asleep? Panic has a hard time swimming through the clouds in your head, but your body reacts quicker and you try to sit up, only to double over in agonising pain. Your breath gets stuck in your throat. Somebody is setting your abdomen on fire and stars dance before your eyes. You wipe a clammy hand over your equally wet face and lean back against the pillow, finally lifting up the short-sleeved shirt -that you only now notice isn’t yours. You stare at the bandages around your stomach as the recent events slowly start coming back to you, accompanied by a dozen questions. Whose clothes are these? Where are you? How did you get here?

The light blue set of loose clothes you’re wearing is made of comfortable, breathable fabric similar to what you used to wear at home, clearly meant for the same hot weather. You turn your head to the window, but all you see is a bright, blue sky. Judging by the height of the sun, it must be around four. By Hannaran standards anyway. Something tells you you’re not on that planet anymore.

You look around the small room, which merely consists of a bed and a small bedside cabinet with a lamp and what looks like bandages and other medic supplies on it. You reach for one of the little bottles, ignoring the stabbing pain it causes, and try to focus your groggy eyes on the label. Eventually you recognize the word “symoxin” and you softly rest your hand on your stomach. The memory of the knife burying itself in your body jumps past the headache into your brain. The pain, the shock, the chaos, oh, that terrible pain, the worst thing you’d ever felt, it all comes flooding back to you. You try to swallow, but your mouth is as dry as your home planet, despite the IV. Panic finally breaches the surface of your subconscious and you try to listen for the sounds of people in the hallway, but you can’t hear anything. You need to find out where you’ve been taken. For all you know, this place is no friendlier than the last. Also, where’s Mando? Is he okay? You remember a vicious fight in the cave. Is he in this hospital as well? 

Time to take matters into your own hands -but you’re gonna need some help.

You take a deep breath and unscrew the cap of the bottle. Being short of a pharmacist licence, you take a wild guess at the correct dose and sip from the bottle.

Big pain, big sip, your groggy brain thinks. 

Next, you pry the tape from your hand and slowly take out the IV, quickly covering the wound with a bit of gauze from the cabinet and taping it down. After a few more breaths, you push yourself up from the bed and swing your legs over the edge. Lightning bolts in your stomach make you cry out and you’re no longer sure whether the wetness on your cheeks is sweat or tears -or both. It’s all you can do not to pass out and you push yourself to walk to the door, which takes all your strength. You lean against the doorframe to catch your breath and then make yourself push the button and step into the hallway.

Breathing heavily, you look around. A mosaic floor lies under a vaulted corridor with ogee arches. Opposite you, the structure has been opened up and narrow columns separate the corridor from a beautifully upkept garden. Then you distinguish two figures talking in the garden. At the same time, they see you as well.

‘Hey!’

You don't hesitate a moment longer and run. 

‘Get the doctor!’, you hear one of them yell. 

You keep your right hand on the wall and your eyes fixed on the end of the hallway, where the sun is pouring in. The symoxin is dulling only some of the pain and it takes all of your attention to stay upright and not collapse in nausea and pain. Sweat drips down your back and you try to blink away the increasing blurriness in your vision.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

‘Stop!’

Footsteps near behind you and also somehow in front of you, but you ignore them and keep going straight for the light. There’s no way they’re getting you a second time.

Then you slam into a wall of metal coming from a corridor from your right. Strong, gloved hands manage to catch you before you fall over and you trash in their grip.

‘Let go of me!’, you cry.

‘Hey, hey!’, a familiar voice says. ‘It’s me! Calm down!’

You look up at the dark blur towering over you and finally recognize the shape of the Mandalorian. Relief washes over you and you all but collapse into his arms. 

A few running people catch up with the two of you, but you have no strength left to look at them and instead rest your head against Mando’s cool breastplate as you try to catch your breath. He wraps his arm around your waist to keep you standing up.

‘By the gods, girl,’ a stern, female voice says, ‘what are you doing out of bed?!’

The back of a hand touches your forehead and cheeks and you weakly swat it away.

‘Stay away from me’, you breathe.

‘What’s wrong with her?’, you hear the Mandalorian ask the woman -probably the doctor. The concern in his voice finally makes you realise that there’s something going on with you besides the obvious. You feel two fingers being pressed on your neck, but you no longer stop them. 

‘I’m not sure...’, the doctor mumbles. She grabs your chin and shines a bright light in your eyes. ‘Wait’, she says then, looking over at the assistant next to her. ‘Don’t tell me you left that symoxin bottle with her.’

‘Erm…’

‘You son of a bantha!’, she curses. ‘Now look at what you’ve done!’

‘Symoxin?’, Mando repeats. ‘She took concentrated symoxin?’

‘Seems like it.’

‘What’s happening to me?’, you whisper.

‘Bounty hunters use concentrated symoxin as a knock-out poison, cyar'ika.’

‘You’ll be fine,’ the doctor clarifies, ‘but you’re gonna pass out in a second.’

Before she’s even finished her sentence, the world starts to sway under your feet, your consciousness slipping away like sand from your fist. 

‘Get her back to her room’, the doctor orders and you’re lifted off the floor by two strong arms. Your head falls against the beskar-covered chest again and the last thing you hear is the doctor calling her assistant every curse word in the book.

~

‘You can open your eyes, girl’, the doctor’s voice says from far away. ‘I know you’re awake.’

You groan and make a face.

‘Nothing feels the way it should’, you rasp. 

‘That’s to be expected’, she responds while you finally pry your eyes open. ‘What were you thinking, climbing out of bed with an abdominal wound like yours, taking out your IV and helping yourself to some symoxin?! You’re lucky to be alive!’

She feels your pulse and watches a monitor next to your bed that wasn’t there before. Several wires connect it to stickers on your chest. A new IV has been placed into your other hand. Gods. You rub your eyes and take a deep breath in the hope that the grogginess and the general bad feeling in your body subside a little. They don’t.

‘How much did you even take?’, the doctor asks.

You shrug, avoiding her gaze. ‘I dunno. A sip.’

She opens her mouth as to scold you again, but then stops herself and instead sighs: ‘Just promise me you won’t do something that stupid again.’

You meet her gaze now and finally take a good look at her: the entirely yellow, serpent-like eyes and curved horns growing out of her forehead would probably have startled you if you hadn’t read about Icraill before. A temporary hyperfixation on Tetera, the planet Icraill people are native to, some years ago had led you down a rabbit hole for a whole day and night. You’d emerged from your father’s library a bit of a Tetera expert and you’d bothered Samick and Avlin all day long with fun facts about the planet -though most of that information had long sunk away in the depths of your brain. The doctor looks exactly like the pictures in the books, with skin almost as dark as the night sky, yellow eyes, horns, long ears and curly, pitch-black hair. Hers is neatly tucked away in three big buns. Her white doctor’s coat has the word “Shaddath” and a bunch of foreign words embroidered on it. The name sounds familiar, but you can’t quite place it yet. 

Sighing as well, you nod and when she moves, you notice the black figure sitting on a chair behind her. Mando leans his elbows on his knees as he seems to scan you, his head tilted just a bit.

‘That one has hardly left your side the past couple of days’, the doctor remarks. 

You look at his vizor and offer him a small smile. The Mandalorian doesn’t react.

‘Anyway, you can eat and drink a little if you feel up to it. But if I catch you out of bed again, I’ll tie you to it until you can be discharged. I’ll be back later.’

When she’s left the room, you stare at each other for a while. There’s no trace of the fight in Rumia left on Mando’s armour; he seems to have mended his clothes and washed off the blood from his beskar while you were unconscious. What did the doctor say, a couple of days? You’ve really been out that long? It must’ve taken them some time to repair the damage the knife did to your insides. You probably lost a lot of blood as well. How you survived any of it, you have no idea. These doctors must be miracle workers. 

‘Are you okay?’, you whisper then. ‘I know Denis hit you as well-’

‘I’m fine’, Mando interrupts. You can hear at least a dozen emotions tumble over each other in his voice. ‘These doctors can be trusted. No need to pull a stunt like that again.’

‘How can you be sure?’ You try to sit up, but then decide against it. ‘Where are we, anyway?’

‘Shaddath hospital.’

‘That’s not on Hanarra, I take it.’

‘No.’

‘Then how did we get here? How did you get me out of Rumia?’ You furrow your brow. ‘And where’s the kid?’

‘He’s still on Hannara.’

‘What?’ This time, you do push yourself into a sitting position and hiss in pain. ‘Then we must go get him!’

Din rushes to your side and puts the pillow behind your back. You look up at him, worry and guilt fighting for dominance on your face.

‘You’re in no state to travel’, he says, shaking his head.

‘We can’t just leave him there!’, you push. ‘Moff Gideon-’

‘You don’t get it. We’re in Naetis.’

You still. Suddenly the hospital name clicks. ‘Naetis as in “the capital of Tetera”? That’s impossible. Tetera is on the other side of the Mid Rim.’

He just looks at you. 

There’s no way he could’ve brought you here without you dying a dozen times over, even if he’d jumped into hyperspace. How the hell did he get past the Rumians, all the way to the Crest and then here, while being injured himself?

‘What happened, Mando?’, you whisper.

‘Not sure’, he answers after a while. ‘But it seems portals are real.’

You chuckle incredulously. ‘What? There’s no such thing as a portal, let alone one that transports you all the way across the galaxy.’

‘That’s what I thought. But that’s what happened. That’s how we got here. The girl with the curly hair opened it and let us through before that Denis guy could stop her.’

You stare at him, wondering if he’s on drugs as well. You’ve never heard of an actual portal before. If they existed, everyone would know about it. Trade and travel corporations would immediately monopolise them to save money on transportation and the rich would use them to get around… It would be a revolutionary discovery. Maybe that’s why the Rumians and Teterians are keeping theirs a secret. Padma took an enormous risk by sending you through it, if that’s even what happened. You still can’t quite believe it, even though it’s the only explanation for your current location -and survival. Naetis is known for being a galaxy-wide centre of culture and science.

But what about the little one? Why hasn’t Mando jumped on the first spaceship out of here to get him? Did he really not want to leave you alone with these strangers, or did he not have a choice? You can tell he’s being torn apart by the fact that his son is on the other side of the galaxy, without his father to protect him from Moff Gideon and Dedis knows who else. Your stomach twists at the realisation that this is essentially all your fault. You ran off and went home with a couple of strangers, losing your comms in the process and getting drugged like some kind of idiot… If you’d just gone with him to Llars, none of this would’ve happened. He wouldn’t have gotten hurt and the kid would’ve been safe by his father’s side.

‘I’ll go get you some water’, he interrupts your train of thought.

You watch him go and the door has barely closed behind him when the tears start falling down your face.

~

The sun is setting by the time Din makes his way back to your room, cup of water in hand and his mind elsewhere. 

You’d still been unconscious when he’d been summoned by the king. He’d followed the servant through the maze of halls and corridors of which the palace, located within the innermost circle of the round, bright white city, consisted. After what seemed like forever, they finally arrived in a small room filled to the brim with documents, both digital and paper ones, a hologram projection pod and a desk with two chairs: the king’s study. The ruler himself had not been there yet, so Din had stood there, in the middle of the room, scanning the area while being closely watched by the servant and a guard. A window in the wall to his right was open and showed him the magnificent view the king had from here: beyond the inner city wall stretched countless of white houses as far as the eye could see. A literally colourful, multi-ethnical mixture of people roamed the streets. Millions of scientists, tourists and other travellers from all across the galaxy come to Naetis every day for the university, the sights or one of the many other things this gigantic city has to offer and still the king had found out about the two mysterious people that had turned up in the desert.

The door opened and the guard and the servant jumped to attention. Din followed the king with his eyes, but otherwise did not move as the grand man sat down behind the desk, visibly studying the Mandalorian as well. His skin was bright red, but his eyes resembled Din’s and apart from the skin colour and the two small tusks coming from his lower jaw, the man looked pretty human. A gigantic, white turban sired his head and his colourful, high-quality robes moved almost soundlessly around the wearer. His many golden necklaces jingled with each movement.

‘Wait outside’, he ordered with a booming voice, making a gesture at the other chair. After the two others had left, he continued: ‘So, master Mandalorian, I trust the doctors at Shaddath have treated you well.’

‘Yes,’ Din answered awkwardly as he sat down, and quickly added, ‘your majesty.’

‘And your… companion? How is she doing?’

Din knew full well that the king already knew every detail of your condition, but he told him anyway. ‘She’s not yet woken up, but the doctors said we need to give the bacta some time to do its job. They’re confident she’ll be okay.’

The king nodded. ‘I am glad. She was in a very bad condition when you came in here. You were lucky to be near a hospital like Shaddath.’

‘Yes.’

It didn’t take a genius to see the next question coming. The king rested his elbows on the desk and folded his hands together. ‘What did happen to the two of you, if I may ask?’

Din swallowed, painfully aware of the power of the man opposite of him and the fact that he was in the heart of a city in the middle of a desert, with no way of getting out should the king not like the answer. 

‘We were on our way to Naetis when we were attacked by bandits’, he lied, keeping his voice neutral and calm. ‘They stole everything we had, including our speeder, and left us for dead.’ 

‘Hmm.’ The king stared at him for a long time, but Din didn’t budge. ‘Some bandits they must have been,’ he continued after a while, ‘to overpower a Mandalorian and a heavily armed woman.’

Din didn’t say anything.

‘Where is the ship that brought you to Tetera?’

‘We caught a ride to a nearby city’, Din said, cursing himself for not knowing any other Tetera cities besides Naetis. 

‘Why not to Naetis?’

‘We had business there first.’

‘Hmm’, the king repeated. ‘You see, master Mandalorian, the patrol that was sent out as soon as you entered the city did not find any trace of a fight, bandits or any form of transportation in the area where the two nomads picked you up. They just found your blood in the sand. My captain described the scene as… What words did he use again? Ah, yes, “as if you had appeared out of thin air”. 

Again, Din said nothing and just stared back into the piercing eyes of the ruler. 

‘Now do not get me wrong,’ the king whispered, ‘I already know what planet you came from. My ancestors used to have a strong connection with the Bhel’vur before they fell out over a political issue and severed the… connection. This was long before the destruction of the Jedi temple on Lothal, which contained a similar “connection”. You are the first to come through in many generations. I did not even think it was possible anymore. But I have no intention of reconnecting as Naetis has grown and changed so much since then. We would not be able to keep it quiet like back then. The whole galaxy would come and-’ He sighed. ‘You do not seem the gossiping type, but I really cannot have you telling anyone about this. I will do what is necessary to keep my people safe.’

The threat was clear and Din couldn’t help but sit up a bit straighter. 

‘There’s no need to worry, your majesty’, he reassured the king. ‘I will not tell anyone about this. No good can come from everyone knowing about this portal.’

‘Hmm.’ He stared at the warrior, but it was hard to tell if he was lying with the helmet on. ‘As for your companion-’

‘She knows nothing’, Din interrupted, fighting to keep the panic from his voice. ‘She was unconscious long before we were sent through, she has no idea. And even if she did, I can assure you that she wouldn’t tell a soul either.’

‘Hmm.’

‘I swear, your majesty. On the creed.’

A silence fell as the two men stared at each other, trying very hard and failing to read the other party. Then the king nodded again.

‘Very well. Now, there’s another matter I want to discuss with you.’ 

Din comes to a halt by your door, waking up from his pondering, the panic about the threat to your life still fresh in his stomach. He'd never forgive himself if something else happened to you. 

Which is why he couldn't say no to the other thing the king had asked from him. 

His hand lingers near the button that opens the door as his mind wanders off again. To the practice session before you landed on Hannara, when you’d lain there under him and the filthiest ideas had perverted his mind. To the moment earlier that day, when you’d been stargazing with the kid and had looked so delightfully peaceful. To some days before that, when you’d all stayed on a grassy planet and you’d started to teach the little one how to swim in the nearby lake. To the countless other moments when you’d looked up at his visor and smiled, as if you could see right through all the armour -both physical and mental. To all the times his heart had jumped a little when you’d touched his arm, offered to help with errands and repairs or just simply sat in the cockpit with him, reading one of your books or staring at passing planets, and how the stronghold around his heart had cracked a little each time. He’s started to miss your presence whenever he’s out on a job and you stay behind with the kid, even though you’d offered to help a few times. Not that he doubts your skills, but he can’t bear seeing you get hurt. The thought that it is partially his fault that you’d been stabbed and had almost died, nags at him like an annoying, hungry child.

The door slides open and as he sits down on the edge of your bed to give you the water, he notices you’ve been crying.

‘Are you okay?’

You sniff. ‘Yes. No. I… You should go, Mando.’

The Mandalorian frowns. ‘What?’

‘You should go and get the kid. We’ll meet up somewhere. Don’t worry about me, it’s him who needs you the most right now.’

He stares at you for a second before responding: ‘I can’t.’

You place the cup on the nightstand and take his hand in yours, looking at him with a pleading face. ‘I said not to worry! I’ll be fine here and get on the first ship to meet you guys as soon as I can.’

He shakes his head and gets up, pulling his hand free from your lovely fingers. You’re about to protest again when you notice his balled fists. He’s frustrated, but not about you. This has nothing at all to do with you not being able to travel right now. 

Your voice is almost a whisper now. ‘What’s going on?’

He says nothing, but you’re not having it. ‘Mando, why can’t you leave?’

‘It’s the king.’

You furrow your brow. ‘What about him?’

‘He wants me to do a job for him. Get rid of a desert wyvern that’s threatening diplomatic convoys. He has forbidden me to leave this planet before I do.’

‘And since when has that stopped you?’, you ask, still confused. ‘You’re a Mandalorian. Surely you can sneak onto a ship.’

He turns to face you and his next words make your blood run cold. ‘He’ll hurt you if I do that.’

We ran her dna. We know who she is. And how valuable she is to certain people.

‘He said that?’

‘He implied as much. He doesn’t trust us to keep quiet about the portal.’

You blink and for a second, you don’t know what to say. Everyone must have heard by now of the mysterious strangers that appeared out of nowhere, one practically dead and the other dressed in expensive armour and badly hurt. In these kinds of cities, nothing happens without the king knowing. Din keeping wake by your bed would be enough to draw certain conclusions. Now the king seems to think you’re his weak spot.

‘Again, don’t worry about me.’ You fumble with the sheets and avoid his gaze. ‘I can take care of myself. The little one can’t. It’s him you need to protect and you can’t do that from here.’

‘I know you can fight your own battles, you’ve proven that many times’, Din sighs. ‘But you’re badly hurt. A determined child with a toothpick could probably kill you right now.’

You raise an eyebrow at him. ‘Was that a joke, mister Mandalorian?’

Something like a chuckle escapes his helmet and a tiny smile sires your lips for a moment. You take his hand again and he squeezes reassuringly.

‘You should get some rest. We’ll talk in the morning,’ he says softly. 

He helps you lie back down again and as he pulls the thin blanket over you, you consider asking him to stay. You could use the safety of his presence right now. But something stops the words from escaping your throat and all you can do is stare at his broad, armoured back as he leaves the room. 

~ 

It’s the next morning when the door slides open and Din peeks into the room to see wether you’re still asleep. His stomach drops when he sees the empty bed. 

He rushes in and scans the place, but you’re nowhere to be found. You’ve taken your weapons and bag and shut off the monitor so its beeping wouldn’t alert anyone, the leads laying aimlessly on the floor. His eyes land on the note on your bed. 

Thank you

I’m sorry

He curses softly as he realises you’ve really left. The last sentence tells him enough: you blame yourself for everything that’s happened, so you snuck out to escape from the king’s clutches. That way, you can no longer be used as leverage and Din can do what he wants. The fact that you left without him indicates that you know he would probably want to take down the dragon anyway, since it’s threatening innocent people, but you’ve given him his ability to choose back. His heart stings. He’s not quite used to being known.

He drops the note and steps back into the hallway, looking both ways for a sign of you, but to no avail. Still, you are injured -you can’t have gotten far.

Then his ears pick up a loud voice nearby and he sees a female Icraill nurse complaining loudly to a Twi’lek nurse, making wide, annoyed gestures.

‘-clothes are gone! I left them in the changing room! Now I have to go home in my uniform and wash it myself!’

‘Are you sure you took them to work with you today?’

‘Yes!’

That can’t be a coincidence. 

‘Excuse me,’ Din says as he walks over to them, ‘what did your clothes look like?’

The nurse raises her eyebrow at him. ‘Why, do you know what happened to them?’

‘I might.’

‘Brown cargo pants, a grey top and my favourite brown boots’, she answers grumpily. ‘So, what- hey!’

He ignores her and trods towards the exit of the hospital, onto the busy streets of the third most inner circle of the city. This is Naetis’ commercial part, so thousands of people are doing their morning shopping. Now there are two problems with finding you: one, he doesn’t know when you left, so you could have a head start of several hours already, and two, you have nowhere left to go, which makes it very hard to predict where you could have gone first. So for the next couple of hours, Din asks around for an injured, armed girl in brown cargo pants and a grey top, but to no avail. There are so many people out and about that nobody seems to remember a thing. Feeling more hopeless by the minute, he eventually stops by a bookshop with several crates of books stalled out on a table outside of it. The owner, a scrawny Icraill man with a long, white beard, unconsciously takes a step back as the warrior looks at him, eyeing the Mandalorian nervously.

‘Have you seen an injured, human girl in a grey top?’, Din asks.

The man quickly shakes his head before he’s even finished the question, avoiding his gaze. ‘No, sir, no human girls came here today. No girls. None.’

Din makes a show of slowly walking up to the merchant, cocking his head and making good use of the many tales about his race. Sometimes it comes in handy to let people think he’s a heartless, ruthless killer.

‘Are you sure about that?’

The Icraill shrinks against the wall, panicking more with every step Din takes towards him. ‘Please don’t hurt me!’, he begs in a shrill voice. 

‘I won’t if you tell me which way she went and when.’

‘That way, that way!’ He points to the left, where a small, commercial ship awaits the next load of travellers. ‘About half an hour ago!’

‘Where do those ships go?’

‘Aboss, the city’s spaceport.’

So you’re getting out of here. He should hurry if he wants to catch you before you leave the planet -he may be a bounty hunter, but you know how to stay hidden. 

But then a stack of books discussing animals from different planets catches his eye. 

‘Do you have any books on Teterian animals? Or something that mentions desert wyverns?’

The man shakes his head again. ‘No, sir. Try the library.’

‘Desert wyverns?’, a voice behind him asks.

Din whirls on the library clerk standing by the table, a book on Naboo’s architecture in one hand and one about the Empire in the other. His blond hair falls down to his shoulders and his bright, blue eyes form a stark contrast to his red library robes. 

‘I’ve studied those in the past’, he continues. ‘Very interesting creatures-’

‘How do I take one out?’, Din interrupts impatiently.

‘Why would you want to take out such a beautiful animal?’, the clerk frowns. But when Din keeps staring at him, he answers: ‘Fire is definitely their weak spot, but why-’

The Mandalorian doesn’t let him finish and instead takes a few steps before activating his jetpack and flying up into the air. Aboss isn’t very hard to spot with the dozens of ships flying in and out and a few minutes later, he lands into the mass of people arriving to or leaving the city and starts giving out your description to the droids managing the outgoing ships. The first few haven’t seen you, but then one of them tells him that you tried to board, but the ship was full. When asked which way you went after that, the droid points over to a fountain to their right and Din’s heart jumps a little when he spots you sitting on the edge, catching your breath and tightening your ponytail. The rest of the world is a blur as he closes the distance between you and him. You’ve spotted him within a few seconds and you jump to your feet, only to wince in pain. He puts his hands out to support you, but you step back.

‘Mando? What are you doing here?’

What is he doing here? He was so busy trying to locate you that he didn’t prepare a good answer to that question.

‘You left’, he says sheepishly. 

‘Yes, to give you the opportunity to choose between doing the king’s dirty work or getting back the kid’, you sigh frustratedly.

He looks at you for a while and you stare back, a pleading look in your eyes that makes him ask: ‘Was that the only reason?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Did you want to give me the opportunity to get the kid back and to leave you?’

Your mouth falls open, as if you want to protest, but then you close it again and avoid his gaze.

‘What makes you think I would want to leave you?’, Din asks, growing more confused by the second.

You purse your lips and shake your head, looking at your feet while resting your hands on your injured abdomen. 

‘I’m an impulsive idiot’, you cry out then. ‘I’ve thrown myself off a balcony, run off into an unfamiliar forest… Hell, I-’ Your voice becomes a whisper. ‘I’ve killed several people in cold blood just because they were in my way. Why are you not afraid of me?’

Your voice trembles, but your hand is surprisingly steady as it holds your dagger just a few inches away from Din’s throat. You don’t even remember placing it there, but you don’t lower it and just stare at his visor, at the dark strip of nothingness that tells you absolutely nothing, as usual. Tears fill your eyes and a silence falls, neither of you moving even a muscle. 

‘The kid is in danger because of me’, you continue, your voice barely audible. ‘You got hurt because of me. I got hurt because of me since I can’t even defend myself against some arrogant bastard with a short fuse-’

‘Most people wouldn’t have lasted as long as you in that fight’, Din interrupts. ‘He would’ve gotten me too if it weren’t for you.’

You’re already shaking your head, finally moving your dagger and making a dismissive gesture with it. ‘You would’ve blocked him with your gauntlet or something. I’m the dumbass that got herself stabbed. Without you and Padma I would’ve died in that stupid cult. I’m tired of having to be saved from men using me for their own self-interest. I’m tired of being the damsel in distress. I just wanna…’ Your voice breaks. ‘I just want some fucking peace and quiet for once.’

‘I know.’ He puts his hands on your shoulders. ‘I know. And you know what? I know just the spot. If you’re interested.’

You look up at him. ‘Are you sure you want to put up with me? Because this is your chance to get rid of me if you want to. I can jump on any of these ships here and make my own way through the galaxy. No hard feelings.’

He gently wipes away a tear rolling down your face and thinks back to a while ago, when the three of you were sitting around a campfire, you with the kid in your lap and Din so at peace that he almost nodded off to the sound of your soft voice telling the little one a Duuganese bedtime story. And then he knows for sure: he doesn’t want to leave this planet without you. Without your jokes, your gentleness and fierceness, your beauty… His life is better with you in it. 

Plus, the kid would probably never forgive him if he didn’t bring you back with him.

So his voice is completely sincere as he answers: ‘I am sure. I want you around, cyar’ika.’

You sniff. ‘One day you’re going to tell me what that word means, right?’

‘One day.’

Smiling through your tears, you softly place your hands where his cheeks should be, not in an attempt to take the helmet off, but simply to cradle his face -or at least, to do the next best thing. You don’t give a kriff about the crowd around you. Oh, how you wish you could throw the tin can away and kiss him, bury your hands in his hair, explore every last inch of him, but you can’t, you can’t. For a second, you curse that creed he holds so dear and wonder if he is thinking the same right now. With a sign, you rest your forehead against his instead. His creed is a big part of his identity, you remind yourself, so wanting to disrespect the creed would be to disrespect him as well. 

You almost tense up as you feel his arms wrap around you and the weight against your forehead slightly increases, as if he’s resting his against yours as well. Something tells you that what you just did means more to him than you thought. 

‘So what do you want to do?’, his modulated voice asks then, as he slowly lets go of you.

You pluck at your shirt for a few seconds while your brain works out a plan. Then you look at him again, your face puffy but determined.

‘You take care of that wyvern. I want to take advantage of having access to one of the best libraries in the galaxy.’

~

You enter the enormous library through an arched doorway big enough to fit a small spaceship, flanked by two female Icraill statues ten times your height. Walking past the desk of the guard watching the entrance, you can’t help but marvel at the sheer size of the library. Underneath a slightly pointed dome, every square foot has been filled with information: not an inch of wall has been spared and there's just enough room for two people to pass each other in between the many shelves stuffed to the brim with data-tapes and holobooks and sometimes even actual books and flimsi maps. In the middle of the building there’s a broad staircase that leads down to even more levels. As you peer at the lower levels and then look up again, you grin. Now this is paradise. You could spend a lifetime here and never get bored. If it weren't for the bounty hunter and his son, you'd actually consider staying in Naetis. Instead, you silently vow to come back here someday. After the kid is safe.

So you walk up to a nearby library clerk with red robes and long, blonde hair to ask him about books on the Jedi temple on Lothal the king had mentioned. He directs you toward the first lower level and a little while later, you've collected several data-tapes and holobooks that could mention the portal and also a handwritten book which seems to contain a scientist's research on the possibilities of portals across the galaxy. As you spread them out on an empty table in between some shelves, you chew on the inside of your cheek. Something nags at the back of your mind and it has you finding another clerk to ask for books about Tetera's fauna. On an even lower level, you find several books on monsters and bestiaries and you bring them back to the table with you, groaning at the pain the weight of them causes to your stomach. Your head spins a little, so you quickly sit down and start searching for the desert wyvern. It takes a while before you find the right book and when you finally turn over the page to the correct section, the picture alone sends a shiver down your back at the thought of Mando facing it right now. The beast is simply humongous, with a long body, the head of a dragon with several rows of sharp teeth, giant wings connected to its front legs and a long tail with spikes the size of your entire body. Your eyes quickly scan the page until one particular sentence makes your blood run cold. 

There's nothing that upsets a desert wyvern more than fire: it won't kill the animal, but instead anger it greatly. 

He’s been set up.

Your trembling hands reach for the comlink he'd given you and it takes a few tries to turn it on. 

'Mando?'

'I'm kind of busy right now, what is it?'

'I found a book on the desert wyvern-'

You're about to tell him he's walking into a trap when you feel something sharp enter your shoulder. Someone grabs you tightly before you can whirl on them and covers your mouth with their hand. 

'You're not telling him anything, sweetheart', a male voice somewhere above you says while your body goes limp and the world starts to spin. 'Hmm, what is this?' 

The last thing you see is a sleeve from a red robe, and then everything goes black.

~

‘Sir, she’s waking up.’

You groan and try to reach for your head, which feels like a bantha stepped on it, but your wrists are being held back by a strong force. Frowning, you open your eyes, only to discover you’re hovering in a blue beam, your ankles and wrists bound with magnetic shackles holding you upright. Panic twists your stomach and you try frantically to move your limbs, but to no avail.

‘What the kriff?’, you whisper.

‘It’s a containment field, my dear’, a male voice says. ‘Don’t try to fight it, it will be of no use.’

An elderly, Icraill man in rich robes walks into the room, his hands on his back and his eyes curiously roaming your body. 

‘So you’re the one who almost ruined my plans’, he muses in a posh accent. ‘Clever of you to research the wyvern in the library. But you were too late: my scout reported fire in the wyvern’s lair. So I’m afraid your dear Mandalorian has become its dinner.’

Your stomach drops. No. No.

‘You’re the one who fed him the bad intel’, you say, despite the lump in your throat.

‘Not me personally, but yes.’

‘Why?!’

The Icraill cocks his head. ‘The Mandalorian was sent by the king to get rid of the wyvern, because it is threatening the diplomatic convoys from all around the area on their way here for a big meeting tomorrow morning. We will be discussing the spice trade on Tetera, or more specifically, whether we are going to fight it collectively.’

So he must be one of Naetis’ senators. Did Mando know there were political figures who might try to sabotage the wyvern hunt?

You swallow. ‘And let me guess, it’s in your best interest if the trade continues. You’re hoping the wyvern takes out as many convoys as possible, so the negotiations are stalled.’

‘Correct. All the same,’ the man shrugs, ‘that’s not why I had you brought here.’

‘It’s not?’

‘No, I’m way more interested in the other thing you were researching in the library, my dear’, the senator says, coming closer to the containment field holding you in place frustratingly well. He stops at the edge of the beam and looks you straight in the eyes. ‘Tell me it’s not a coincidence that the two of you showed up out of nowhere, in a desolate part of the desert, with no trace of a ship anywhere, and then my assistant catches you looking up theories about portals…’ He slowly circles you. ‘Considering the generations of rumours about a strangely close connection with a planet on the other side of the galaxy, I’d be very interested to know how you came to Tetera.’

Your emotions fight for dominance in your head now you get zero time to process the news of Mando’s possible demise and instead are being held by a nut-job who wants to use the portal for his spice trade. 

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’, you say, shaking your head. ‘I had access to the best library in the system and wanted to look up a science question I had before we left. That’s all.’

‘This would all be a lot easier for everyone if you just told the truth, girl’, the senator says behind you, a dangerous undertone in his voice. ‘MK-2, show our guest what happens to people who refuse to coöperate.’

You hadn’t even noticed the clunky butler droid behind the panel to your right and you get little time to get a good look at him; a second later, a powerful electrical charge is sent from the shackles through your body. Your breath catches in your throat as the horrifying, blinding pain stiffens your muscles, though the field prevents you from convulsing. Suddenly, it’s over as quickly as it had come. Panting, you rest your chin on your chest. Your ears ring and your heart pounds in your chest like a percussion band.

‘She can’t take too much of this, master’, the droid warns. ‘Her condition-’

‘I don’t care’, the senator interrupts with a dismissive hand gesture. ‘Now let’s try again: where is the portal? What planet does it lead to?’

A part of you wants to spit it out; why would you wanna protect the Rumians? But then you remember the other villages, the people who helped Mando save you, and the intergalactic revolution that would erupt if people were to find out about the existence of portals like this one. Everyone has been through two wars already the past few generations, they really don’t need another one. 

So you shake your head again. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know how I got here.’

The next charge seems even worse than the other and this time, you do scream, so loudly you feel like you’ll throw up your lungs. A sharp stinging in your stomach tells you all this is gradually undoing the work the bacta has been doing the past few days. When it’s finally over, you’re exhausted and you let your head hang like a bag of sugar. Muscles all over your body are spasming in protest and you know the droid is right: you can’t take this for much longer.

‘You really have yourself to thank for this’, the man sighs, standing to your left now. ‘I’ll ask again: where is the portal?’

You squeeze your eyes shut. I never should have run into that forest. 

‘I… I don’t know’, you whisper. ‘Wait!’, you add quickly, before the droid can electrocute you again. ‘I was stabbed and had passed out before the Mandalorian brought me here. Ask anyone, ask the hospital, I was practically dead when they discovered us. I really don’t know how we got here.’

You’re not as convincing as you’d hoped, apparently, because the next electrical surge almost makes you pass out. Your scream flows into full-on crying as you plead: ‘I don’t know, I swear I don’t know! I was almost dead!’

The senator stands in front of you again, a frown on his face as he inspects your face. 

‘Do you think she’s telling the truth, master?’, the droid asks. 

‘I’m afraid she is, MK’, he sighs. ‘She was in a bad state when they arrived. It seems like the Mandalorian is the only one who knows how they ended up in the desert.’

‘And he’s dead now’, the droid deadpans. 

The senator is about to snarl at him when the door slides open and the blonde-haired clerk who’d helped you in the library runs in. Your crying face turns angry instantly when you realise he must be the one who attacked you and brought you here. But your weapons are in the corner of the room and there’s no way you’re gonna be able to move your hands, even though your fingers are itching to plunge a knife into his chest. Not his heart? Your mouth turns into a thin line. Not now.

The clerk throws a quick glance at you, seemingly not very impressed, before turning to the senator. ‘I just heard from our scout. The wyvern is dead.’

Your anger is flushed away by hope as your mouth falls open. Mando’s alive?

‘What? The Mandalorian succeeded?’, the senator shouts.

‘Yes, senator Daraay’, the clerk confirms timidly. ‘And… he survived.’

The senator curses loudly before rubbing his grey beard, visibly thinking of a new plan. You’re too tired to do much else than just hang in the beam, all your limbs -but especially the broken arm- throbbing painfully. 

‘Alright,’ the man says resolutely, ‘this isn’t over yet. I still have one more card to play.’

All the eyes in the room slide to you and you already know you’re not gonna like what’s coming. 

‘Get her to senator Darro Ardas’ house. He’s the king’s strongest ally on this matter, but he won’t be able to attend tomorrow’s debate if he’s busy with the guard.’

‘Busy doing what, senator?’, the clerk frowns. 

His boss has the droid turn off the field and you drop to the floor like a sack of meilooruns, letting out a cry of pain. But before you can try to run away, the clerk has grabbed your arms and he pulls you to your feet.

Senator Daraay looks at you one last time before heading for the door, his expression uninterested now. ‘Busy with the murder charge, mister Horne.’

~

You’re making your way through the streets of Naetis, not really registering where you’re going due to the same trance from a few days ago, and searching your pocket for the comlink you’d stolen back, together with your weapons, which were now covered in blood. You don’t really remember how you overpowered the clerk, reached your weapons and fought your way outside, as the past few minutes are a complete blur. All your trembling hands can do now is turn on the comlink and call Mando.

‘Mando?’

‘I’m here, are you okay?’

‘I…’ Your voice breaks as you turn another corner and almost stumble over your exhausted feet. Every inch of your body aches and though the physical presence of the electricity is gone, the memory of the horrific pain is still fresh. ‘No. Can you… can you come get me?’

‘Where are you?’ 

You stop to look around, which is hard due to the tears now blurring your vision, but then you recognise an enormous marble statue a couple houses away. ‘I’m near a huge statue of the king, somewhere in the secondary ring of the city, I think.’

‘I’m on my way.’

The connection is cut off and it’s all you can do to not collapse in relief on the spot. 

You’re leaning your back against the wall of the alley when you finally hear the sound of Mando’s jetpack. A few seconds later, he lands next to you and immediately stills when he lays eyes on your bloodied face. You’re too tired to move a muscle as he closes the distance between you, inspecting every inch of your body, no doubt noticing the bruises on your wrists and the blood on your knives and clothes and the hand resting on your re-injured abdomen. Your heart has no energy left to skip a beat when he softly tilts your chin up to get a better look of the new bruise on your cheek. Your exhausted eyes meet his visor. A gloved thumb gently wipes away some of the blood from the corner of your mouth.

You nearly jump when he finally breaks the silence, anger just radiating from his modulated voice. ‘Who did this to you?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ You manage to shake your head dismissively. ‘They won’t be a problem anymore.’

Mando’s no idiot. If he adds the fact that contact was broken off while you were researching the very thing that turned out to be sabotaged to his observations right now, he knows enough. But it seems like you’ve already taken your own revenge. The only thing that matters now is finding a way back to Hannara and getting you some more medical attention. So he softly pulls you away from the wall and lifts you into his arms. You wrap yours around his neck and rest your heavy and pounding head against his chest as he activates the jetpack and lifts both of you from the ground. 

~

A little while later you stagger towards the ticket droid and Din holds up two fingers. Then he reaches for his pockets, but the droid interrupts him.

'It seems like your passage fee has been taken care of', it says in a shrill, automated voice.

Din frowns. 'What?'

'Your tickets have been paid for', the droid clarifies, though it doesn't really explain anything.

'What are you talking about?', you rasp next to him. 'By whom?'

The droid turns its narrow head towards you and replies: 'I am not at liberty to disclose that information.'

The hunter hesitates for a second longer, but then decides not to question it any further and he leads you to the queue for the boarding platform with a quick "thanks" to the ticket droid.

'I wonder what that's about', you mumble, breathing heavier by the minute.

He doesn't answer and instead leads you inside and straight to the small sick bay, only to find that the staff don't ask any questions about your condition and how you came to be wounded like this. The nurse he pulls aside deflects his interrogation, much like the droid, and just leaves him even more confused. But as the doctor starts to work on your injuries, he decides to give in and just accept the mysterious help you're being given. You're both getting out of here and that's what matters. 

A few hours later you've been brought to a room with all kinds of machines monitoring your condition and a big window providing a gorgeous view of the stars now the ship has left Tetera. You turn your head towards the Mandalorian when he enters the room and smile.

'How are you?', he asks.

'A little better', you whisper, still hoarse from screaming. 'You?'

'I'll survive.'

'You can ask the doctor for bacta et cetera', you suggest. 'They're nice here, I'm sure they'll be happy to help you too.'

He squeezes your shoulder. 'Maybe I will.'

A comfortable silence falls and he's about to leave when your soft voice calls: ‘Mando?’

He pauses his exit from the room and turns his helmet to look at you. The light of a passing star illuminates your slightly colored cheeks as you softly pet the mattress beside you once and whisper: ‘Could you… Could you stay with me for a bit?’

His mouth opens and closes a few times while his instincts fight for dominance, his feet frozen to the ground.

This is a bad idea, his creed warns him.

But sitting next to someone who’s badly hurt in more ways than one is innocent enough, right? Your hopeful eyes take him back to Aboss, when you rested your forehead against his without knowing it’s the Mandalorian equivalent to an actual kiss. There’s nothing he’d like to do more than to take your face in his hands and put his lips on yours, breathe in your scent, stroke your hair without his gloves on... But it’s not that easy. Nothing is ever that easy for him. Some days it kills him that there’s always a beskar barrier between you and every one of his senses and lately, it’s taken every ounce of self-control not to act on those forbidden desires. Your imprisonment at Rumia had brought up feelings that he had previously only associated with the child, though this time it had been different somehow and more intense than he’d ever thought possible. The fact that he hadn’t been able to keep you safe and lost the child in the process frustrates him more than he wants to admit. What kind of warrior is he if he can’t even protect those he cares about?

So he walks over to the hospital bed and sits down next to you, which is slightly awkward with all the armour, placing one leg on the bed while keeping the sole of his boot away from the clean sheets. His breath catches in his throat when you move closer to him and nestle against his chest, as if the beskar doesn’t bother you at all. Before he can stop himself, he lifts his arm over your head and softly rests it on your shoulders. You let out a quiet, satisfied sigh as you rest your head against his body. The room is filled with a peaceful silence. Your eyes are focused on something outside the ship, probably the star cloud in the distance, and you don’t seem to notice his eyes resting on you.

'It’s Din’, he whispers after a while.

You look up at him. 'What?’

'My name’, he clarifies. He had expected his heart to pound in his throat when he’d tell someone his real name for the first time, but much to his surprise, it’s completely given itself over to the blissful peace of the moment. As if it agrees with this decision. 'It’s Din.'

You open your mouth in astonishment and then your face turns soft. You nod and sink into his embrace again.

‘Din’, you repeat softly.

His heart flutters at the sound. It’s been a long time since someone has said his name so... lovingly.

This is wrong, his creed hisses in his head. It is forbidden.

But he’s not so sure anymore. His muscles relax as he leans his helmet against the pillows, your weight against his chest so delightfully comfortable. It’ll be a few days before your transfer to Hanarra, so you’ll both finally have some time to rest and heal. If it wasn’t for the kid, he’d never leave this bed.

His eyes slowly close while he listens to the sound of your still superficial breathing. Bit by bit, the light of the star disappears as the ship moves past it. Just for a moment, everything is fine.

I’m coming, little buddy.

~

The king stares at the guard reports on his desk, his hands resting on the wooden surface as he leans over the dozen guard reports. Both the hair on the library table and the blood in the senator's house turned out to be a match for a certain patient from the Shaddath hospital: you. According to the books on the table, you’d been researching both portals and Tetera bestiaries when you’d been taken, most likely by the library clerk found dead in the house. The monster book had been opened to the page about the desert wyvern, which mentioned that fire was about the worst thing one could use to try and kill it. The wyvern's lair had evidently been set on fire, another report had told him. Senator Daraay had been very openly opposed to getting rid of the spice trade. And now he is dead and you and the bounty hunter are missing. It didn’t take very long to figure out what had happened and the king has already given the order to turn the senator’s house upside down. 

So his political opponent on this matter is dead, his guards have started working on bringing down the trade in the city and whatever you may have told the senator and his men about portals, they have taken to their grave. He will never admit it out loud, but you’ve done him a favour, really. He has guards combing the inner city for a trace of you or the Mandalorian, even though his spies told him an hour ago that you were looking for a cargo ship to take you off-world. Can’t have people thinking that murder is tolerated in this city -let alone the king assisting their escape.

The fact that you didn’t try to go back through the portal and the honesty in the Mandalorian’s voice when he’d told him that he had no interest in causing a galaxy-wide scientific, political and commercial revolution by telling anyone about how he came here, reassure the nagging voice in the back of his head somewhat. He sighs. He’ll have to make do with it.

The king straightens, his back aching from both old age and the burden of the crown on his head, and turns the desk light off. With his hands on his back, he makes his way to his sleeping quarters. 

Case closed.

~

Tag list: @buckysalefty @dark-academics-and-florals

[aly-kurta]

FEITAN

And here's the last one of my three fav hxh's boys.

God knows how much I've struggled to find an appropriate Moon for him.

Do not worry about not understanding, I'll try to explain as much as I can and if you have any curiosity, just comment under the post and I'll be more than happy to answer! <3

Disclaimer: I'm NOT a professional astrologer, since I began studying this subject a few months ago. I do this just for fun. I'd also like to say that I'm still a bit skeptical but hey, since when is it forbidden to experiment and just be curious?

Here we go!

♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒

Sun, Ascendant and Moon (the big three)

Sun: the Aquarius sign is the one related the most to anticonformism, ribellion and evanescence. You can easily spot an Aquarius Sun just because they somehow stand out from other people, may it be in clothes, hobbies or things like that (and I think it applies to Feitan, he really stands out among the Spiders even thought he's silent). The evanescence, as I said before, found its place right in the Aquarius' moods, sometimes he's there willing to talk, while the other time he disappears for weeks or months. Usually natives of this signs are fond of unusual media like manga, graphic novels and similar things ( his Trevor Brown fixation enters in this category). The Aquarius is logical, like every Air sign, and thinks about the collective when in a group and proceeds to work for its benefits, despite its independant nature.

The Sun in Aquarius often grants pale skin tone and eyes with a percing and ice-cold gaze.

Ascendant: oh the Scorpio ascendant, one of my favourites. The Scorpio is most mysterious out of the Water sign, the one nearest to the "dark side of the things". This sign analyzes and goes into the depht of things for fun, and the chill of the risk is pure bliss to whomever has a strong or well developed Scorpio presence in their chart. It's a revengeful sign that can, and will, elaborate a sarcastic and at the worst hurtful comeback. As expected, the Scorpio sign has a thing for whatever is considered taboo (magic, sex, blood etc) and this recalls the already named interst for Feitan towards Trevor Brown's books.

But don't let all the things above trick you, the Scorpio has a really caring, emotional and empathetic side, the cruel and heartless façade is often a self-defense technique, because when a Scorpio placements, especially in one or more of the big three, cares for someone and loves them, it truly gives it all and shows, directly or not, it's most fragile side. Such a thing in Feitan is clearly well-hidden and seeing his Venus (planet of love) retrogade confirmed his actual struggle with the human side of his soul. This rising is probably part of the most complex ones.

Having a Scorpio rising brings the native to have dark eyes, not necessarly brown or black, they can be even light colored but the hue is dark, and a magnetic aura tipycal of the Scorpio placements.

Moon: the Virgo Moon is picky and a great hard worker when it wants to. It means Feitan is both practical and systematic, the Virgo is a sign that wants structures and organizes its reality in structurs, in fact this sign is a great control freak, everything must go according to the plans.

As it grants a strong view on the physical side of reality, the Moon in Virgo is judgemental and reasoning towards the world of emotions, it takes long to warm up, maybe even more time that takes the Scorpio to trust someone. This Moon can be an enigma for whoever is around a person with strong Virgo placements, since they can be a lot perfectionist in a said job, following instructions and not allowing anything to interfer with their goals.

So if you add Aquarius' detatchment and Scorpio's trust issues with Virgo's apparent coldness, you basically obtain an individual that creates a true bond rarely and with lot of time (says Feitan to me lol).

Other important placements:

The elements that caught my eye in particular.

Mercury in Pisces: in this sign, Mercury reaches its pick of intuition and creativity, being in the Water sign that is creativity itself by definition. Mercury in Pisces has its eyes out for art and enjoys both admiring and doing it, what type of art it produces in the specific can be deducted by certain alignements and placements. A con (or pro, depends on point of vies) is that here Mercury can create a master in emotional manipulation if well supported, and in this case, Feitan's Mercury is more than supported by the Scorpio ascendant.

Usually the voice of someone who has Mercury in Pisces is low-toned and a bit melodic, almost serene. Here again comes the Scorpio ascendant, that adds enigma to the voice itself.

Sun conjunct Jupiter in Aquarius: this aspect brings pride and self-confidence, and a luck too, so it brings Feitan to have great success in a certain area of his life and since the conjunction is in the 3rd house, it will favour his intellectual and reasoning abilities, and if you had the logic of the Aquarius too... it's an absolute win.

There could be enthusiastic and optimism if it wasn't for the trine (blue line) with Saturn. Lemme explain, Saturn is considered a "malefic" so its intervents can bring a lot of harsh aspect, such as in this case, where Saturn is trine to both Sun and Jupiter, it drags down the optimism.

Mars opposite Ascendant: this harsh aspect it's what can explain Feitan's competitive and provocative nature (see the challenge on who kills the most enemies between him and Phinks or the fight against Zazan).

Here a Mars in Taurus, so already hot-headed and short-tempered, it's even more willing to fight since it is opposed to the introspection and emotions (Ascendant), giving tension into personality... someone always on guard, that's it.

Moon opposite Mercury: here we have a conflict between heart and mind (Mercury's placement in Pisces makes it a little softer tho). Still, sometimes Feitan's mind will tell a thing and the heart the other, difficult with a Moon in Virgo but it can still happen. To make rationality and emotionality go well together it's the final goal of this aspect. It's not an easy route, moodiness and humor instability are some of the obstacles the native will have to face.

Some bonus things are: people with this aspect seem to appreciate sarcasm and satire a lot, and some of them have talent in writing (specially if Mercury is in a Water or Air sign).

♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒♒

So I did my fave boys natal charts. What can you understand? That Aly has a clear kink for whoever has Virgo, Scorpio or Air signs (specially Geminis mlmlml) energies? YES PROBABLY.

What do you guys think of this format? Are you liking it? If you have any suggestion, question etc just drop in my asks. <3

Thanks for reading this post, I wish you a good day, wherever you are!

[blacksunscorpio]

Hi Scorp! I just have to tell you I've been on this site for a while and I'm so glad to come across someone's page that breaks astrology down so succinctly and in a fun and personal way. I wish more people we like you- you're a gem! I'd like to get started too and want to know in your opinion what the signs of a good astrologer are and how one can become one? Your help is as always so appreciated! I really admire you!

Thank you, love- Good Question

Signs of A Good Astrologer

1. They Understand Multiple Systems

Now, not every astrologer will use them. Some are more comfortable with Vedic, others Placidus, some Quadrant or Draconic and a few Horary or Equal House. Regardless, they’ll be able to entertain all kinds even if they subscribe to another/one in particular.

2. They Can Read A Natal Wheel

I know this may sound like a given but some folks who get into astrology just use a calculator or generator to pull up aspects and chart patterns. They won’t actually look at the wheel and see where planets land or how to work their way around the circle. They may not understand the red lines from the green or blue. It’s important to not only rely on a calculator but understand the wheel as a blueprint. You can catch many things and see many aspect patters [T-Squares, Grand Trines Yods, etc] with the naked eye. The natal wheel is the birth chart in its raw form. Anyone studying anything must begin with the basics. The wheel, fresh-faced is the best place to start. From there, the 101′s of Astrology become easier to grasp

3. They Do Not Rely On One  App Alone

The sign of any good astrologer [or anyone studying anything] is citing multiple sources and cross-referencing them. As we all know, technology, though an excellent modern tool is imperfect. It too can have glitches and miscalculations. For that reason, it’s important as an astrologer to at least have 2 to 3 calculators [including their own brain and hands] to break things down. This gives a better-rounded view of how charts work and can even introduce you to aspects you didn’t realize existed [parallels, contraparallels, etc]. Cafe Astrology is good for beginners but does not show you minor aspects [Quincunxes, sesquiquadrates, noviles or bi-quintiles] or chart patters like Astro.com does. Co-Star is good for millennials who are just starting and does a fantastic job of giving you a daily horoscope as well, but can really f-things up house-wise. [They are based out of NY and I rejected a job offer from them because of it.] Alabe.com is Ok but they make you input longitude and latitude which not everyone has access to and sometimes it just won’t take. Still, without cross-referencing you’d never know. Cast your net wide so you can get the best return.

4. They Understand Natal, Synastry, and Composite

While it’s important to understand how someone’s natal chart functions and relates to them as a person, or placements in general, we as Human Beings are social creatures. We operate in tribal, familial and unit systems. As a result, it’s important to know how people operate with each other as well as individually. A good astrologer will understand Synastry [aspects/energy between people] and Composite [midpoint and Davison, which is the Astrology of the relationship itself] in addition to Natal patterns.

5. They Have a Good Grasp of History

Mercury, Mars, Rahu, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto? All names of Ancient God’s. When we understand the origins of these Planetary names, we can have a good grasp as to why they’re attributed to said planets/points. Modern planets are named after Roman Gods who all have ties to ancient Greece/India as well. When you understand the myths and stories you’ll already have a head start on why Venus is named after Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, since Venus rules love and what we appreciate. Mars [Aries] is the planet of war, sexual drive and action as is the Hellenistic/Roman God. Lilith is Adam’s first wife in Hebrew tradition and her hypothetical point in astrology embodies her traits. Make sense? Even the asteroids are named after minor gods and characters in the classics. Studying up on these can really help with understanding the planets as a whole.

6. They are Patient

Let’s face it, understanding astrology is not something that comes over night. It is also quite difficult to find in-depth classes for the study. Because of this, it is important for you or any astrologer for that matter to take their time. Don’t rush. Some can spend a lifetime studying and never know all there is to know. I myself learn new things everyday that I share with you all on here. Take your time. Be patient. Astrology is deeply metaphorical, philosophical as well as mathematical. Some may have a stronger grasp with one than another [as a former humanities major, I personally detest math but I’ll be damned if that makes me give up- I keep trying]. A good astrologer will give themselves and others grace to really grasp the concepts they are learning and know that it is not a 24 our crash course.

Red Flags 

With the good comes the bad/things many can work on to improve. The sign of an astrologer not living up to their full potential are:

1. Astrologers That Only Say Good Things About Your Sign

Let’s face it, astrology is not a study for those who like to sugar coat. The reality of life is that everything has a dark and light side. Just like every zodiac sign has positive and shadow traits. [Though I am a Scorpio and very loyal to my sign and people, I feel it necessary if I am to help others, to make them understand the under-developed traits of Plutonians/Martians in general.] You gotta keep it real. It is important to be honest. That is the only way to get to your sign’s final form. To understand what traits you/your sister signs/cousins are prone to. 

2. Astrologers That Point Out Troublesome Placements Without Telling You How to Remedy Them

Big No-No. Astrology is about activism and altruism. It, by nature, is a study quite akin to Psychology. One of my heroes, Liz Greene actually based many of her astrological studies off Jungian psychology. And what is astrology if not psychology with a cosmic twist? ;). A good therapist will isolate your issues but the point in hiring them is for them to aid you in fixing the issues you’re struggling with, no? Same with a good astrologer. They’ll tell you when something is an issue, yes, but they will also give tips and pointers on how to handle the energy or steps to reconciling the energy within your self and others. If someone is simply pointing out that you’re a Capricorn with a Taurus moon and therefore, have pessimistic tendencies, but don’t tell you how to balance that, then they are not doing the best job they can for you.

3. Astrologers That Demonize a Single Sign or Placement 

Or astrologers who are inherently judgmental about your tendencies [many Boomers unfortunately I’ve seen have a habit with this *sigh*]. This is also a No-No. Look, we are all entitled to our own opinion and there is dark and light in each astrological placement. But someone who says “all Pisceans are whiny-crybabies”, “all Virgos are obsessive compulsive critics” or “All Leos are egotistical cheaters” is not someone you want to take very seriously, lol. Sounds like these people got hurt by one of the above and as a result, have a war on everyone with these placements. By proxy, they use astrology to let out their frustrations which is a very twisted way to go about things. We all vibe with one sign or placement more than another of course, but even your fav may have a Mars placement in a sign you though you hated. It is best to be impartial and look at ALL aspects and ALL signs with fairness. The point of astrology is to understand. Once you understand someone or something it’s quite hard to be judgmental [if you’re really going about it with an open-mind]. Just like traveling or spending time with others different from you makes it impossible to be a racist or a bigot. Why? Because you took the time to really connect.

Anyone can become an astrologer with the right discipline and a good amount of grit and curiosity. I think you have the right attitude on how to go about it ;). Here are a few helpful resources to get you started:

1. Spark Notes on Astrology 101

2. Natal Chart Simplified.

3. Decans in Astrology

4. Which Decan Do You Belong To?

5. How to Find Your Dominant Planet

6. Difference Between Your Chart Ruler and Dominant Planet

7. How I learned Astrology

8. My Astro Musings