#i'll be okay I'm just depressed. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inquisitorius-sin-bin · 9 months

Text

.

#Amazing how it takes a mere 2-3 business days to go from “I'm content. Doing alright” to “I think I could sleep forever”#i'll be okay I'm just depressed.#exhausted #i just need a break #i know the best thing for me is to get out of the house but I cannot muster #just want to curl up and do nothing and be numb

9 notes · View notes

allgirlsareprincesses · 18 days

Text

I don't go here and I realize I'm in the minority with this opinion, but it looks to me like GRRM is just trying to distract from the fact that he's never going to finish his f*cking story. I hardly think he's in any position to criticize someone who may have created a flawed product but at least GOT IT TO THE AUDIENCE. Also he's a misogynistic, entitled hack and I will die on that hill.

#cue all of tumblr blocking me #seriously i rage-quit those books after AFFC and my only regret is not doing it sooner #what an unbelievable waste of my time #I'm kind of sort of interested in hotd but i think I'll just binge it when it's over #*edit #ACKSHUALLY I'm not done ranting about this #those books and show also had the worst influence on mainstream fantasy #like suddenly everything has to be REALISTIC and gritty and depressing #and editors let worldbuilder's disease run amok #like good lord dude you do not have to describe the materials and provenance of every item a riding party is carrying with them ffs #NO ONE CAAAAARRRES #also your sex scenes are shit #okay seriously done now

37 notes · View notes

fluffs-n-stuffs · 10 months

Text

silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️ (directly based on this)

#and just when you thought I wouldn't take an opportunity to draw fall alt Morty simply because it's not October - you f o o l s !!! /lh #this was actually quite an old doodle that I managed to finally get to as a treat for myself since work has been quite overwhelming skdjfns #I just wanted an excuse to draw Morty all flustered and shy really eeeeeeeeee (those lip stains are Eusine's ofc) 💕💕💕💕💕💕#I'll make a proper post for it later but I'll skip the comic update this weekend so that I could unwind and attend this con I've been eyein #(it's a local Pokemon Con where I plan to just - splurge my savings on merch really SKDJFSKJDFNSD bc I deserve it methinks)#(I have the update planned as well- I just don't wanna stress myself by rushing it --- I wanna make it the best I could hehe ✨)#I'll also !!! share that I've recently started the Magnus Archives and have been on . a MANIC binge on it since last week #(I'm clinically diagnosed as bipolar this is okay for me to saySKJDFNSJKFDSND)#but oh my god I've just been--so addicted to it - I've just recently started S4 and I'm Severely Depressed by it but god I am---#--loving each and every moment of it so much I am So Indescribably Insane about it #part of me wishes I started investing in podcasts sooner really - it fits my nature of work quite perfectly #I'm nearing the end (it ends at S5 - 200 episodes) so I'll finally be able to participate in fanworks after that wish me luck y'allSKJDFNSD #sacredshipping #morty/eusine #morty x eusine #gym leader morty #morty pokemon #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #fall morty #pokemon #pokemon masters #pokemon masters ex #pmex #pokemas

36 notes · View notes

the-spooky-children · 2 months

Text

Can't stop thinking about unhealthy co-dependent teen!fireskulls..

10 notes · View notes

katsy-kitty · 5 months

Text

I live in constant fear of being annoying af

#anxiety #social anxiety #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #depression #anxiety disorder #mental illness #autistic #the “are you mad at me” disorder #I don't want to live like this #but I'm so self-conscious and insecure at times that I literally don't know how to deal with this #I feel like I shouldn't be around people at all because I'm just a burden and an annoyance #and I know rationally that that's not true #I know that there are people who like me and value me #but the FEELINGS are something entirely different #it's probably because of my parents and shit #lol no surprise -- the usual shit #let's have a dysfunctional family because why not #and let them have kids #and #why am I even posting this #aaand the fear of being annoying creeps right back in through all the cracks in my self-confidence #so I'm trying to fight it by behaving against it #posting cringy shit #because it's my shit #because it's me #and maybe one day I'll learn #that it's okay to be me

11 notes · View notes

chronicsheepdrawing · 5 months

Text

Drawing out my thoughts; I don't have a solution.

#My sona #vent art #suicidal ideation tw #death tw #afterlife #existentialism #atheism #okay to reblog #depression #I guess I'll just have to continue to exist regardless #Like I said I'm not going to hurt myself I'm just Feeling It(TM)

8 notes · View notes

mainfaggot · 8 months

Text

life is all about sitting in cafés with a latte and a cute outfit on

#hi everyoomfie. today I'm feeling less sad than usual. casual melancholy? maybe a bit #but deep sadness and even deeper melancholia? no... and that's okay because im more than my misery #isn't it so weird! I've spent a small period of my life clinically depressed and suddenly it feels like my identity #i dont enjoy it. i dont like it. im not fond. it's not romantic. it's miserable. but at age 16-17 when all my friends were transforming and #figuring themselves out .. i got sick #and now being sick feels like all i can be. but thats just not true!!!!!! so im trying to let myself float along #sometimes im miserable and sometimes im neutral and sometimes im even pretty good over the smallest thing (a song or a compliment or a well #made cup of coffee or a grin from the girl i like)#and yeah. whatever i dont know i contain multitudes and i dont have to be miserable forever. maybe I'll #recover from depression and maybe i won't #maybe i will and then relapse #but it's not who i am #z.post

12 notes · View notes

tardis--dreams · 8 months

Text

I was so concerned with the horrors of making a doctor's appointment and the horrors of finding a job that i completely forgot about the worst horrors of them all. Finding an apartment.

#i just realized that yesterday #after my appointment #and now my rest of my time off is ruined #because i have to find a place to stay and the chances are low that I'll find something okay #the student dorm apartment was the hight of luxury (pretty new. good stove. good bathroom. hot water....)#now I'm most likely going back to broken showers‚ old almost unusable stove‚ hot water every once in a blue moon‚ no room to move #ugly depressing dirty #my dream is unattainable i know #i don't even want more than one room (even though in the long run i would love to have an apartment with a kitchen in a separate room)#but i would love to have an oven #i know it's too much too ask and i should be happy if i have a functional stove #also a bathroom that doesn't look and behave like it's 100 years old and is fully functional would be so nice #and my actual most important concern is having enough space to work out #it doesn't need to be much. i just wanna be able to move freely enough so i don't have to worry about bumping into anything #when doing burpees and whatnot #but I'll take what i can get #if have no choice #i can't commute. the train connections are too bad.#alright #I'll message some people now and get rejection after rejection after rejection 🥲#void screams

9 notes · View notes

cinnamon-grump · 1 year

Note

i cant im so scared right now

oKAy, I got u!

#these came in seconds apart so i can only assume they are connected..?#im sorry if this was a more genuine ask.. idk why ur scared or why u sent these but.. hi?#you okay anon?#if u are actually scared.. i'm sorry and I am sitting with u in that last tree mentally rn <3 #yew tree #asks #anon #also just to be clear i pulled all these from a quick image search.. if any are ur photo n u don't want it here dm me I'll take it off #if u were looking for selfies i.. am not prepared for that rn #i am so depressed lol sorry

42 notes · View notes

asinglesock · 1 month

Text

just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.

#a sock speaks #local construction #fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher #on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this #I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument #and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward #several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself #that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive #and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive #(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going #I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself #but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort #I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it #I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.

5 notes · View notes

anaalnathrakhs · 6 months

Text

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit.#i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them.#but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu''#it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps????#it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped.#the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????''#oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

5 notes · View notes

thewindandthestars · 1 month

Text

Fun fact: when I wrote x readers it was mostly because I didn't know self shipping was a thing and that it was okay for me to write stuff that involved me personally. Most of my x readers were comfort fics that was initially written for me because I needed the comfort but I wrote them for everyone because again, didn't know I could write selfship. So now whenever I write selfship stuff, I don't know how to write without feeling awkward because I'm so used to writing x readers.

I'll probably get over this hurdle eventually, I just need to write for myself more lolol /lh

Tw for tags: vent and mention of depression and suicidal ideation 👍 doesn't go in depth but just keep yourself safe.

#: ̗̀➛ 𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖓 and the weeping stars ✧˖*°࿐#I really need comfort right now haha #Fighting my tendency for pessimism (+ my overall mental health issues)#Life is just testing how far I'm willing to go to get what I want #That's all it's just testing me and I can get through it #I shouldn't give up like I usually do #I told myself I wouldn't let anything stop me from trying to make the most of this ridiculous life #I wouldn't let my struggles feed my depression or suicidal ideation #But fuck why is that so hard #It's like whenever I have some inkling of hope for this stupid fucking life #It's taken from me and makes me feel like I'm fucking drowning all over again #As if all the work to get out of the fucking hole is just thrown out the window #But it's fine. It's okay. I can get through this #I'll forget this ever happened once it's done and over with #It's not that serious and I shouldn't let it become so serious #Everything will be fine and I'll be okay #Whether it's a bad outcome or a good outcome #I'll be okay and I'll find some other way to do this shit

3 notes · View notes

hiddenbysuccubi · 2 months

Text

.

#Some not nice things happened at my job/employee housing the other day and I left #I'm hiding out in West MT for a bit waiting for my paycheck so I can go back to WA and crawl into a ditch and hide #I think I'm really depressed. I really thought this was going to be a good year.#But I'm too messy and too much for everyone and I keep being nice to the wrong people and getting hurt for it.#I was used humiliated and then ruined and I'm just....#I just wanted to make friends #have fun make money get good kitchen experiences for my resume #I don't know what to do now.#Living hasn't been fun for nearly a decade now - don't get me wrong I'll keep living #I won't do that to B or mom again but #Every time I start to open up and feel okay and happy I wind up more miserable when I'm inevitably hurt

3 notes · View notes

eclarinet · 2 months

Text

same soup... different day

#hello it is sarah in the tags again #i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again #venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone #anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin #back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye #anyway this time i'd come in for the big D #i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong #i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety #its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc #anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the #isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers #isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and #i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic #anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing #i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche #also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like #ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it #and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this

2 notes · View notes

mikumoroll · 2 months

Text

sometimes u just have to be really nice to people that are being willfully obtuse because u know theyre just more mentally ill than u are and that's,.... that's life. sometimes. that is life moderating a phobia subreddit with 23k people on it where a majority of them refuse to recover or even simply practice harm reduction!

#'i wasn't reassurance seeking!' you say to me #but i removed your post because you wrote 'i'm terrified to start this medication because i read it causes nausea/vomiting'#which directly was proceeded by -> 'did anyone on this medication have bad n*?'#BONK! reassurance seeking!#AND i doubly removed it because they asked a medical question!!! 'can i take anti-nausea medication?' ask A DOCTOR NOT THE INTERNET.#ANDDDDD THEY SAID TO ME. NO SHIT. 'I SAW OTHER PEOPLE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT MEDICATIONS A FEW YEARS AGO'#A FEW ****YEARS**** AGO.#HAVE YOU SEEN ANY RECENTLY? NO?? BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN REMOVING THEM ALL! BECAUSE THEY'RE AGAINST THE RULES NOW!!!#God.#even better was them being like 'oh i posted it on r/depression and r/anxiety too so i'll just get my answers there'#okay girl tell me you're reassurance seeking then! be so serious!!!#like do people think i'm stupid. is that it. do you think i can't read?#anyways....#txt #also 2 be so clear i genuinely was nice in the messages i sent directly to them. i am not an animal #im simply venting in the privacy of my blog with only 16 mutuals <3

2 notes · View notes

barkingangelbaby · 5 months

Text

wanna play the sims soooo baaaaad but bg3 takes up so much space I can't update it </3 maybe I'll ask N to help me clean out some stuff bc I simply Do Not Know things about computers lmao

#rAMbles #I'm also mourning my laptop that stopped working three years ago again #mostly bc i had so many interesting academic pdfs saved that i didn't appreciate in college and want to read again #i gotta try to remember that one website that has SOOOO many experimental films on it that i used my university's library login for...#i wonder if I'd still have access to it #maybe I'll reach out to my old professor and ask if he has any new site recommendations #j**** r******* you will forever be one of the best professors I've ever had!!!!#omg one day we just drew on 10ft of 35mm and he played it through a projector.. man that was a cool day #lemme dig up my notes from that class and research all the artists he shared again..#I'm thinking about his notes saying the work i created in his class was on par with grad level work and... auuuughhh i miss making video art #i was so spoiled using 4k cameras and professional mics and access to several video editing programs #time to ask N to find me rips of them i think :) i loved editing i was just too high and depressed in college to make more work #ugh maybe I'll ask my friend if i can use her mac so i can transfer some work i have on my mac only harddrive onto a flashdrive.. hmm...#okay rambling done i just really miss being a video artist #i lied last thought.. i really want to make a documentary again #OKAY BYE

3 notes · View notes