#i'll be seeing you || 40s verse

[reaperdaughter]

@shieldrevive “ you’re my family, screw what everyone else says . ”

“Damn straight punk” Her lips quirk into a smile, glad to know that all that fight hadn’t somehow gone out of him 70 years later. It had certainly seemed to go out of her for a long time after both of them were gone. She had spent ten very long years looking for Jamie’s body and after that she had retreated to one of the family homes her brother William had put in her name and passed another decade.

Time moved on and Kelly didn't age but eventually she stopped hiding out. Peggy puts her to work with SHIELD and it makes her feel good. And maybe there’s something to punching her way through the grief that sits in her chest. It’d stopped carving a constant hole into her heart and instead settled there taking a deep root. She refuses to hear anything about Howard's continued search for Steve, unable to deal with it.

She refuses to have anything to do with SHIELD when she finds out about Zola. The woman who still goes by Kelly Vanderbilt screams herself hoarse at her oldest friends over it and walks away. She’s been alive too long, seen to many people to ignore her gut when it tells her something is wrong. She moves into the building where Bucky and Steve had lived in Brooklyn. With the help of a little computer hacking from Tony, she registers for college under Kelly Barnes and goes to medical school, eventually becoming a leading cardio surgeon. When aliens come down from the sky, she spends the hours of the attack on the streets, fighting off invaders and doing what she can to save every person she comes across. It’s not until almost 3am that she finally sees the news, sees a familiar uniform and familiar blonde hair.

The world changes that day and it brings her to this one, to Steve Rogers alive and smiling and calling them family like it's 1944 all over again.

“It’s not Hyde Park or 647 Park Avenue but I’ve got a place over in Brooklyn nowadays. I own the building, it was built before 1930 and I've had it updated as time’s gone on but I kept the original layout. There’s a spare bedroom, wouldn’t mind the company. Future’s fucking weird Steve. And kind of sad.”

[seconddoubt]

the keys to the car is such a michael woman moment

Tonight when he hands you the keys to the car

And he says, "You can drive, some, but don't drive too far"

Tonight when she tells you you're her only one

Remember the morning brings on the sun

And they're watching you stumble and fall

Until you're lost down below like them all

Today when they give you their words of advice

And tell you you're free, friend, as long as it's nice

Today when their words of sweet wisdom come down

Remember their smiles are hiding their frowns

And they're watching you stumble and fall

Until you're lost down below like them all

If you say you're their friend, I'm afraid you will learn

They want only friends they can have on their terms

But the love that you show them will give you an edge

For authority is more than wearing a badge

And you'll be watching them stumble and fall

Until they're lost down below like them all

Until they're lost down below like them all

[keenzinemugstudent]

Miguel O'Hara x Black reader imagines 🔥⚠️smut⚠️🔥 I'm going to hell I swear

okay im definitely going to hell for this what if you the reader aka Y/n had gave Miguel the most toe curling, mouth watering, the most sloppiest, bombastic soul sucking head ever? Okay look just hear me out just hear me out please?!

Dude hasn't jerked off in months because he's always busy working and keeping track of the spider-verse there's always something interrupting his time he never has enough free and he had just broke up with his girlfriend who he found out was cheating you are his bestfriend and help him with spider verse stuff he was at your house cause he found out you had a date and you wanted his advice on what to wear when you came out your bathroom he was actually half sleep but woke up to your soft voice to get his attention when he opened his eyes he nearly passed out seeing what you were considering wearing to your little date.

"Well what do you think Miggy? Is it to much?"

He couldn't say anything but stare he runs his eyes down your body trying to understand the situation he almost forgot where and why he was here.

"W-where the hell did you get that?!"

Was the first thing he said making you shyly look at him hands behind your back causing him to let out a low moan seeing your chest sticking out a bit.

"It was a birthday gift from my sister."

Your the type of person to not wear flashy clothes he's always seen you in baggy clothes or pants with a Tshirt this was something Miguel has NEVER in his life seen you wear something like THAT he forgot who you even where that you were somebody else.

"Miguel you okay you look a bit flushed?"

You walk towards him heels clicking on the floor he just sat there watching your hips move as you walked you out a hand on his forehead than his cheek he was breathing hard trying not to stare to hard but you chest was right there in his face and your scent had smelt so good he felt his pants tighten

"I'm fine Y/n, don't worry"

You sure?

"Y-yes! And you look great who ever your going out with is lucky..."

He quickly looked away from you trying to focus his mind to elsewhere so you wouldn't see him getting hard, fuck he shouldn't have agreed to this it was bad enough he hasn't jerked out in weeks? Or was it longer than that now here he was helping you pick an outfit for a date he didn't even know about or who the lucky fucker was! He hated this shit but he cared about you so much when you asked he couldn't say no not to you of all people.

"Miguel?"

He felt your hands on his giving you a side eye you were sitting next to him still wearing the damn dress but had a worried look on your face.

"I appreciate you being here to help me pick out an outfit but I can tell how tired you are you need to rest."

You say moving a bit of hair out his face he closed his eyes at the close contact leaning into your tiny hand before opening his eyes taking a better look at you he always thought you were cute a pretty little thing but now he didn't know what to think and whenever he tried to think of you his thoughts went into really and I mean really dirty thoughts which involved you on your back legs wide open begging and pleading for him to do whatever he felt sick just thinking of you that way because you were an sweet and innocent girl he was a sick bastard.

"You can spent the night here use the guest room okay?"

"Yeah okay have fun on your date." He says standing by the door watching you grab your purse you than turned around to give him a smile giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"I'll try goodnight Miggy please rest." You wave goodbye closing the door behind you Miguel was left standing there with with a kiss mark on his cheek he wanted to die.

Later that night Miguel couldn't for the life of him sleep it was 11:40 at night you left at 9:20 he couldn't stop thinking about you and what you doing whenever he closed his eyes he saw you face smiling at him, kissing him or.....he let out a low groan feeling his dick hard as a rock he was alone he had time to himself so he might as well, he kicked off the covers removed his shirt because it was to hot to in the room than glared down at his phone grabbing it to looking through his gallery it was a picture of you smiling while staring at the camera, hugging him while he looked like a grumpy cat. Your words not his, it was Christmas one of the day's he hated but you invited him over to spend time together maybe that was when he started to like you more than just a friend. He took a deep breath trying to relax his thoughts went back to you in the dress that fit your body perfectly, he than starts to palm himself letting out low moans he shouldn't be doing this...he shouldn't be doing this but he just needed this so damn bad he closed his eyes and started to breathe heavy the imagine of you popped in his head. You on your knees looking up at him with those dark beautiful eyes a cute pout on your lips.

"Miggy pls let me have a taste~"

"Y-y/n oh baby..."

He took off his shorts and his dick slapped his stomach it was already leaking the head was red and angry he slowly started to stroke himself eyes closed breathing hard starting imagining you on your back looking at him with tears in your dark brown eyes staring up at him, dark braided hair all over the place while sweat covering your body a smile on your lips.

"Miggy I love you please touch me more."

He stroke himself faster biting his lip, even if it wasn't real the thought of you saying that to him made him shiver.

"Y/n I love you oh dios I love you so much." He was so focused on pleasing himself he didn't hear the door open or the tiny gasp.

"M-miguel?"

His eyes went wide turning his head fast to see you standing there eyes wide you there looking at him, you were home oh shit! He couldn't say anything he was frozen in place he was so focus on pleasing himself that he did not hear you come in he quickly grab the cover to hide his lower half while looked down at the ground in embarrassment and shame.

"Miguel-"

"Fuck I didn't...i didn't hear you fuck Im sorry I'm so sorry Y/n."

You stand in front of him but he refused to look up into your eyes he was embarrassed.

"Miguel..."

You grab his chin making him look at you your face held embarrassment but also something else he couldn't tell he couldn't even focus because you started playing with his hair making him let out tiny moans he always loved when you played with his hair.

"Where you thinking about me?"

"...Yes..."

"What were you thinking dear?"

He couldn't say anything but felt a gentle tug at his hair making him give out a low groan.

"You...I was thinking about you...dios, siempre tengo pensamientos de tocarte bebé." (god i always have thoughts of touching you baby.")

You didn't say anything but lean forward to kiss his forehead, his cheek than give a tiny kiss on his lips making him gasp surprised that you kissed him and how soft your lips were. Before he could respond back she pulled away from him turning on the lamp making him see he could see that you were flushed it was cute.

"Y/n?"

"The person I went on a date he...he didn't show.

He let out a growl before he could say anything you smile at him.

"But that's okay. I'd rather be here with you."

You reached behind your back to unzip your dress slowly removing your clothes he just stares feeling himself getting hard all over again, you now stood in front of him in only your black and red underwear you shyly looked at him grabbing his hand his hand was bigger than yours putting it on your chest he could feel how fast your heart was beating you were nervous but also excited.

"Miguel I really care about you."

He stared up at you before he knew it his hand moved on it's own and gently grasps your chest making you let out a small gasp.

"Is this okay?"

"Y-yes it's fine."

He brought you closer to him to were your chest was directly in his face pulling your bra down to show a harden nipple he gently touched it with his thumb she gives a low moan hands on his broad shoulders shivering at the slight touch, you sounded so cute he thought to himself before wrapping his lip around the nub making her close her eyes leaning her head back a bit he sucked gently and desperate like a newborn baby wanting it's mother's milk while sucking on your left nipple he hand removed your bra completely throwing it across the room all he cared about was making more cute nosies come out your mouth his hands wonder around he have your back side a firm grip Miguel wasn't gonna lie he's took a couple of glances at your ass it was so cute and round like a peach if he could he'd take a bite out of your ass if not for his fangs but the thought of his fangs piercing your skin excited him to the point he sucked harder on your nipple causing the noises leaving your mouth to to increase louder, which probably disturbed your neighbors but at the moment neither of you cared.

"M-miggy please."

"oh cariño you are to good to me."

You grab his face and kiss him he leans up to deepen the kiss he responds quickly hands on your hips his senses were all over the place he could smell you all around the room it was slow and gentle he tires to pull you in his lap but you stopped him making he frown thinking he'd moved to fast.

"I'm sorry i am moving too fast?" You didn't say anything but give him another peck on the lips than move down to his neck all the way down his chest he was breathing heavily hands on the bed watching your every move you were now in front of his covered cock biting your bottom lip making him let out a deep growl in the back of his throat.

"I want to try something if that's okay?"

He nods and you remove the cover and whimper seeing the cock in your face he knew he was big that was for sure it was leaking precum making you rub your legs together Miguel speaking got your attention.

"You okay?"

"Y-yes it's just I'm not sure if it'll fit in my mouth."

His eyes went wide he didn't think you'd do that give him a hand job sure but your mouth?!

"You don't have too."

You just ignored his words grabbing a hair tie that was on the stand and put your braided hair up you let out shaky breath leaning down giving the head a kiss than started to slowly lick and sucking on him causing loud moans to leave the man's mouth.

"Ahh fuck!" He threw his head back eyes closed losing himself to your lips on him he didn't think this was real, that is was all just a dream, a good dream at that, god it felt so good he looks down and saw you taking him fully inside her mouth it was a struggle because she's never taken someone so big in her mouth before and Miguel was pretty big you looked up at him with teary eyes he stares back breathing heavily eyes red and fangs poking out his mouth wide open trying to speak.

"Fuck mi amor you don't ah have too ahh fuck!"

You just ignored him taking him down your throat you gagged a bit but it was okay you breath through your nose trying to concentrate he grabbed your hair keeping you in place than once you started moving your head he let out moans and whimpered as your held his waist down forcing him to stand in place.

"Fuck oh fuck yes mi amor just like that please just like that."

You sucked faster bobbing you head up and down Miguel eyes were wide seeing how you were taking him he held on to your shoulder trying to get you to slow down he was breathing hard trying to stay focus but he couldn't, it felt amazing hell his thighs were shaking from the insane blowjob you were going him he could see the drool going down your chin he felt so helpless.

"W-wait not so f-fast! ¡Ay, carajo, ay, Dios mío, mami, por favor!" (Oh fuck, oh my god mommy please!)

You just looked up at him with a glazed look in your eyes seeing how desperate Miguel looked he leaned back on the bed covering his face murmurs of spanish leaving his lips chest moving up and down mouth wide open you could see his fangs drool was rolling down his chin from the intense pleasure you were giving him and you couldn't help but let out a hmmm making the vibration go through his cock making him clench the sheets and look at you wide eyes tears in his eyes.

"Your amazing so amazing, oh fuck why didn't I do this sooner oh fuck me!"

He uses all his strength to stand puts a hand in your hair thrusting his hips up making you gag but keep going now you definitely sure your neighbors heard all the lewd noises you two were making but who cares about them?

"I-i'm so close please let me cum down your throat please mi diosa!" (my goddess)

You pull him closer towards you wrapping your arms around his waist nails digging into his cheeks making him wince he knew he was definitely have marks from that but couldn't careless it would be a remember that his was yours, he keep thrusting his hips using your mouth he felt his talons come out and had to remove his hands from your head and lean on the wall for support leaving claw marks on the walls

"Te amo, te amo tanto, mi diosa, mi ángel." (I love you, i love you so much, my goddess, my angel)

The words leaving his mouth like it was a prayer he closed his eyes tight feeling himself close to the edge.

"A-ahh fuckkk!"

He came hard you whimper it was so much and some went down your chin. You released him from your mouth with a pop looking at him with a flush face and teary eyes he fell backwards on the bed he was drained but he grab his shirt that was next to him gently wiping his cum off your face.

"You okay?"

you just give a nod he lets out a sigh pulling you up from the floor in his arms laying on the bed than leans down to give you a kiss on the forehead.

"We need a shower Miggy."

"Later I just want to hold you baby."

pretty sure I got some of the words wrong if so pls tell me so I can fix! I made after the movie came out so it's pretty old

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Angel With A Shotgun

Written By: Evan Taubenfeld, Frank Sidoris, Chantry Johnson, Joey Thunder, Alex Marshall & Bohnes

Artist: The Cab

Released: 2012

“Angel With A Shotgun” is a rousing love song by The Cab, about a lover’s promise to his/her significant other. This opening track of the band’s sophomore album, Symphony Soldier sets the mood for the whole album.

[Intro] (Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah) (Oh yeah, oh yeah) I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun (Oh yeah, oh yeah) Angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun [Verse 1] Get out your guns, battle's begun Are you a saint or a sinner? If love's a fight, then I shall die With my heart on a trigger [Pre-Chorus] They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be [Chorus] I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have? And I wanna live, not just survive tonight [Verse 2] Sometimes to win, you've got to sin Don't mean I'm not a believer And Major Tom will sing along Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer [Pre-Chorus] They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be [Chorus] I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have? And I wanna live, not just survive tonight [Bridge] Oh, oh whoa whoa, whoa Oh, (Oh yeah) oh whoa (Oh yeah) whoa, (Oh yeah) whoa (Oh yeah) Oh, (Oh yeah) oh whoa (I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, yeah) (Oh yeah) whoa, (Oh yeah) whoa (Oh yeah) Oh, (Oh yeah) oh whoa (I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun) (Oh yeah) whoa, (Oh yeah) whoa (Oh yeah) [Chorus] I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have? (I'm an angel with a shotgun) And I want to live, not just survive (Live, not just survive) And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight [Outro] They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

Dreams

Written By: Noel Hogan & Dolores O'Riordan

Artist: The Cranberries

Released: 1992

“Dreams” was the first single released by The Cranberries after being signed to Island Records. However, the band’s video for “Linger” was picked up by MTV in 1994 while they toured with London Suede and that song reached the top 40 in five countries. So, “Dreams” was then reissued and found chart success. The song was written about “feeling really in love for the first time”.

[Refrain] Oh, my life Is changing every day In every possible way And oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems Never quite as it seems [Chorus 1] I know I've felt like this before But now I'm feeling it even more Because it came from you Then I open up and see The person falling here is me A different way to be [Bridge] Ah La ya La la ya La-ah-ah [Verse] I want more Impossible to ignore Impossible to ignore They'll come true Impossible not to do Impossible not to do [Chorus 2] And now I tell you openly You have my heart so don't hurt me You're what I couldn't find A totally amazing mind So understanding and so kind You're everything to me [Refrain] Oh, my life Is changing every day In every possible way And oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems 'Cause you're a dream to me, dream to me [Outro] Ah, la-a-la-ah, la la la La-a-la-ah, la-ah ah ah Ah, la-a-la-ah, la la la La-a-la-ah, la-ah ah ah

[not-poignant]

January 2024 Writing Round-Up

Here's the monthly round-up of everything written and posted in January 2024! How is the first month of this year nearly over already??? But here's the chapters that were released: 

Birthday Spotlight - Dr Gary Konowalous 

Birthday Spotlight - Nathaniel (Nate) Prince 

Underline the Black 76  

Underline the Black 77 

Underline the Blue 09 

Constellations 02 

The Nascent Diplomat 40 

The Nascent Diplomat 41 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Underline the Blue 12 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Constellations 05 (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 33 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 34 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

Tradewinds (full e-book) (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

FANFICTION

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 29 

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 30 

Palmarosa 16 

Palmarosa 17 

*

An extremely quiet month, with only 31,000 words written. That's not bad (my minimum is 25k) but I'm sure y'all know I like to aim higher than that most months!

A reminder that enrolment into the Merch Tier to get the May/June rewards is still valid until mid February!

*

On the writing side, I wrote across multiple stories: Palmarosa, Constellations, The Nascent Diplomat, A Stain that Won't Dissolve, Underline the Black, and Underline the Blue.

*

We adopted a gorgeous puppy called Tobermory but it's been very overwhelming on a PTSD and autism front (we actually decided to rehome at one point, and then decided to stick it out, but it's been rough). And also just on a 'young puppy life' front lol.

In the months ahead I'll be taking a break in the form of not posting one Underline the Black chapter per month to give me one Sunday-to-Sunday stretch of posting no chapters. I will still be active and around! These aren't holidays from writing or interacting with you all, just from the schedule itself. :D 

I also really want to get stuck into editing Game Theory, it feels like a distant dream right now which is more than a little frustrating, just because of time and energy, but please know it's still high up on my list! I'm also going to start designing/planning the next round of merch soon, so stay tuned for that. :D

*

Tradewinds has LAUNCHED!!! This is a Patreon/Ream exclusive, meaning that - at this stage - it can only be read if you join that tier and download it to read. You're welcome to stay in the tier, drop back down to your regular tier, or even just sign up for one month and leave again. Obviously the latter isn't my preference! But I want folks to enjoy themselves and am sensitive to the fact that not everyone can afford regular subscription, or has to be careful how they subscribe <3 

Tradewinds is a completed Fae Tales Verse story with a completely new cast of characters that focuses on merchant fae in the southern hemisphere, and Seelie vs. Unseelie merchant traders.

*

Remember you can reach out to me privately at any time, at my email piafoxhall@gmail.com - if you can't find something, or just want to find out something, let me know. I'll do my best to help :)

I'll see you all in February 2024! We've smashed into a brutal heatwave, with temperatures of 42C, 43C and then 41C coming over the next few days (that's 107F, 109F and 105F for the folks in the USA!) Pray for me, because I am going to have to walk everywhere with a spatula so that I might lever myself off the bitumen (road/asphalt). 

[stagefoureddiediaz]

you should explain it instead of mock people that have a right to be upset. explain what the writers are putting down because I'm still not seeing a valid reason why Eddie was completely almost erased from this episode.

Hey!

I've seen your other ask as well and I'm answering it here.

I did explain it and I wasn't mocking people - and if it came over that way then its because I'm fed up with my inbox filling up with anons being incredibly rude to me (and others in the fandom) - I've had over 40 anon messages since the episode started - most of them either rude or nasty. Everyone has the right to feel how they feel about things, but they don't get to come into mine and other peoples inboxes and mouth off about there unhappiness over something which I've (and others) have interpreted differently to them - they have their own feed they can post it there - just as I do - our inboxes are not here for hatred - I have no issues saying what I think for everyone to ready - using anon for nastiness is not what its there for. They clearly don't think about the mental health of those whose inboxes they go to and that is never ever ok.

I won't turn my anon because I believe in its value - some people are shy about asking questions that they worry about being silly questions and I've made mistakes in things I've posted in the past and I've had lovely people in my inbox on anon explaining to me why I've got something wrong - its allowed me to learn and be better so I will leave anon on, but is it really any surprise that lots of people turn theirs off?

But to get to the question at hand;

For starters Eddie wasn't completely erased from this episode - we saw his reaction to Buck being in a coma - he was full in crying and trying to stop himself breaking down - not once but twice. I'll go into it in my costume meta, but the fact that he only has one outfit for the whole episode (after his turnouts), despite clearly being in the hospital for several days - thats very telling to me - especially coming from a costume background!

The reason we didn't see much Eddie in the real world, or any in the coma verse is because Buck and Eddies relationship is not a familial one - as in they are not brothers, nor are they a parental figure to one another - that was the entire point of the episode - to emphasise the familial relationships and their importance to Buck (and the firefam as a whole more widely). I don't know how to explain that this episode was about family - about fathers and sons and siblings - in a different way!

The show by not including Eddie in Bucks Coma dream was very clearly saying that Eddie doesn't fit into the parameters of those boxes - that Eddie has his own box - one that is very much separate from any one else in the episode and one that Buck is not in a place to open yet. because opening that box means reckoning with romantic feelings and accepting that he's in love with his best friend. Buck needs to do a bit more work on himself before he reaches that point (and Eddie does as well actually).

Hopefully this has helped you understand more of where I'm coming from. Subtext is a very powerful tool in the writers arsenal and they are very deliberate in how they use it.

[eternalspring4]

seeing parallels between heaven help us (mcr) and hell followed with us (aj white)

so i started rereading hfwu and im already insane about it. and i was listening to my hfwu playlist while i worked on a painting of benji, and heaven help us came on. and then i realized, the line, "mostly i've been sprawled on these cathedral steps while spitting out the blood and screaming, someone save us now" parallels PERFECTLY with benji's begging god/something to save him from new nazareth AND how he vomits up the flood rot/organs for the "spitting blood" part. then i realized the entire song narratively represents the book. lets go one verse at a time.

hear the sound, the angels come screaming / down your voice / i hear you've been bleeding / make your choice / they say you've been pleading: someone save us!

okay, well here the angels represents...the angels... the sound could either be their prayer or gunshots. and i think the next part matches up with how nick recognizes the flood rot benji spits up and knows that benji is the seraph from the first time they meet. the choice nick makes is to take benji into the ALC and to not say anything. the pleading is how benji frequently begs god to save him from new nazareth

and out of this old hotel / but i can't tell if i've been breathing or sleeping or screaming or waiting for the man to call / or all the above / cause mostly i've been sprawled on these cathedral steps while spitting out the blood and screaming, someone save us

"this old hotel" is the ALC, and benji "waiting for the man to call" could refer to how he's just waiting for the angels to come capture him again OR for the seraph to take him. then the spitting blood part is the flood rot organs vomit thing. yeah.

as you're falling down / and will you pray for me? / or make a saint of me? / and will you lay for me? / or make a saint of me? / cause i'll give you all the nails you need / cover me in gasoline / wipe away those tears of blood again

this part goes with the devasting part towards the end when benji is in new nazareth again and how the angels all praise and worship him. i'm not sure about the nails and gasoline part, this book doesn't deal much with themes of crucifixion. HOWEVER, the gasoline COULD be with the ALC fire scene.

and the punchline to the joke is asking: someone save us now / come crashing down / we'll hear the sound / as you fall

this part matches a little too perfectly. at the ending of the book, it's the IRONY. that benji uses the weapon the angels made of him to destroy the angels. the punchline to the joke is that benji uses all of his manipulation and trauma to fight back. the ALC group will witness benji take down this group that has killed lord knows how many people.

final thoughts:

im not accusing aj white of plagarism or anything, it's probably a coincidence. i genuinely just found this super fucking cool. i'm posting this so that i can look back on it and possibly make an animatic one day. also sorry if any of this is off or anything i haven't gotten past page 40 and i don't remember a whole lot of details

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

i love love love the new fic and im sooooooo excited for where you'll take this 🥰❤️

just curious, could i ask how many chapters ur planning for the new fic? like just in general, cause i know that can change from time to time - but like how long do u see it going on for?

i'm sorry it was too funny not to slap those at the start,,

genuinely? on a hopeful estimate? i want to say 30-40.

realistically? i've no fucking clue. i'm so sorry. that's like- a running joke at this point here. i do not control the chapter count or word count. i just write. when i think it's only going to take five more chapters, there's 200k words after it. when i say we're nearing the end, we end up on the first third.

so like- the safest thing i can say is that it shouldn't be longer than cyanide. but like. fuck if i know if that's actually going to turn out being true. plus it could still be longer than cyanide on word count even if it has less chapters given cyanide only started hitting 9k words average per chapter on like... chapter 30 and up i think. whereas jadeite's chapters are all 8-9k (i know there's only 4 so far but still) not to mention, 'not longer than cyanide' doesn't tell you much given cyanide is- quite big.

so uh- TL;DR - i'm sorry i just have no fucking clue LMAO

fun fact though- i know i laugh about it and i honestly am more flaberghasted by it than annoyed? about this not being able to control the lenght fo a fic thing. but i won't lie and say i sometimes wish i could bc then i could like- coordinate chapter titles.

geuinely the only reason why most of my fics have no chapter titles is bc i've always wanted to coordinate them, and only a few fics on the shorter side lend themselves to having basic chapter names about stuff that happens in the chapter (like babysitting and ysmms). not that i couldn't do that for the others, but i just wanted to coordinate them from the start, but ended up not doing that since well. you know.

so the actual fun fact is that i actually started jadeite- obviously for various reasons, but one of the things that got me writing was the idea that i could coordinate the chapter titles of this zhongli-centric fic idea i had to one very specific song's lyrics. as in, have each verse be a chapter title.

for that reason alone i really, really want jadeite to have 37 chapters in specific. but since i know that's mostly wishful thinking, i've left the chapters titleless. if i somehow actually manage to get it to stick to 37 (i'll take 38 or 39 even, could probably fit it in 40 as well), then i'll change the chapter titles to what i had originally intended them to be. but we'll have to see if the fic ends up matching the draft i had when it comes to matching the lyrics. or we could accept it's just for the cool aspect of it and have some chapter's titles have nothing to do with the chapter, all in the name of being able to open the chapter index and read an entire song that does vibe with the fic as a whole hahah

[so-long-soldier-writes]

I have no irl friends or mutuals who are Kai Stans so I figured I’d send you an ask about it because you’re my fave Kai account. I just rewatched that episode after the merge where Kai tried to kill Liv with that candle and couldn’t bring himself to do it and I have never felt so emotionally conflicted in my life. Like on one hand, bad Kai don’t murder people. But on the other hand, he looked so genuinely upset to be wrestling with his conflicting emotions and I just wanted to hug him

Okay, first of all, I'm honored to be your fave. I feel like I say this a lot, but I'm absolutely melting!🩷Hearing that people enjoy the things I write always makes me smile, and I think about those kinds of comments on the daily. Second, I rarely answer asks this quickly; I usually write out a response over a few days and edit it over a few more, but this got me so freaking excited because I JUST watched that episode and had the same feelies you're describing. Third, I will gladly be a mutual with you, whether you want to stay on anon or not! (I am so shy and weird irl, but I love talking to people on here, especially fellow Kai stans!!) (I don't talk to anyone irl about Kai, not even my mom who's watching tvd, bc I just KNOW she's gonna be like... you like this guy? 🤨 and i'll be awkwardly trying to defend him like he's not the love of my life. also, i love my mom and we're super close, but every time she watches an episode, she needs to remind me how much she loves matt donovan 😵‍💫)

But back to the point, yes, I literally watched that same episode / scene last night! And ugh, it gives me so many different feelings, too.

We really got to see the internal struggle he was having in that moment. Earlier, he had mentioned he was writing to Jo, and that he was crying, but in this scene, we actually got to see the emotions he may have been feeling while writing it. He was already exhausted and overwhelmed from trying to astral project into 1994 to help Bonnie, which is another huge display of emotion, and now he's facing his innate need to protect himself verses a whole new slew of feelings he doesn't understand.

On top of that, I don't think he actually wanted any of his siblings dead. I think he was just so void of emotion from all his trauma and abuse that he came to believe the only way to survive was if they were to die. He is, and always will be a sociopath; there's no way to unwire his brain, but Luke's emotions gave him all these feelings he hasn't felt in decades. Part of not wanting to kill Liv was definitely Luke preventing him, but I think part of it, too, was his own feelings.

Just thinking about it… sociopathy develops around the ages of 14-16; Kai is technically 40 years old. He was completely isolated for so long, and then thrust into this loud, complicated, modern world that he doesn't understand. He still has to fight to survive; his family still hates him 18 years later. When he finally accomplishes his "task" - to survive, his family hates him even more, and, since survival equals the merge, he now has feelings to battle on top of all these other new struggles.

Then in that scene, he's trying to make up for the hurt he put his sister (Jo) through, and then Bonnie. He offers empathy to Jeremy, helping him reach Bonnie even after Liv stabs him. He's a bit puzzled on what he should feel for Liv. At the moment, she's just in his way of accomplishing these other "tasks," but Luke won't let him hurt her, and he's fighting with himself about it. And that's a lot. Luke is overwhelming him; his own emotions are overwhelming him.

He needs a hug. And a nap. Both. Personally, I wanted to jump through the screen and give him a hug, then let him fall asleep while I held him and promised to keep him safe.

He's just begging for some kind of security throughout the season. He looks to Bonnie and Damon for it, hoping the three of them can escape the prison world together; hoping he can trust them; that they won't leave him there any longer. He looks for it by merging, knowing if he wins, he secures his spot in the coven; he can't be killed. He tries to make amends with Damon, helping him find his mom, and Bonnie, trying to apologize. Even Jo; he feels sick and he goes to his sister, who's a doctor, because she knows her trade; she can help him; provide him with some clue of what's going on, because he doesn't understand. He doesn't want to be left behind on his own again. He wants someone to trust him, and trust that he's trying to be better. But that's exactly what happens when he's trapped in 1903, and then, of course, he snaps again, because he realizes no one is going to change their minds about him, and no one is going to offer the basic human needs he so desperately has wanted for decades.

If someone just gave him a freaking hug and a second chance, things would've went a lot differently for everyone involved.

It's their own fault, honestly, that the season ended the way it did, (speaking, of course, as if the writers were not writing, and that the characters chose the course of the story). Kai, I believe, is extremely intelligent, and knew exactly how to hurt every single person who directly or indirectly hurt him. He found a little bit of security in Lily Salvatore - all he really wanted - and with that little boost of confidence from the wrong person, was able to deliver absolute chaos and destruction where he deemed necessary.

But now, on a completely unrelated note, I also have three random things to say about this scene. Given the chance to talk about it, I feel I must. One, I find it absolutely hilarious how Kai and Liv throw silverware at each other almost every time they fight. The camera pans to a fork or a knife, and suddenly, it's in the other's neck. Makes me wonder how family dinners went in that household. 😅 Two, when he was pouring alcohol on her, all I could think was damn, he's just gonna set that whole mansion on fire and everyone in it. That huge, expensive, historic, mansion, just to burn one girl. Three, I also couldn't stop looking at that sadistic smile. How happy he seemed to get over the "prospect of getting to watch someone burn to death," right before he couldn't bring himself to do it. His dark eyes do something to me. And the fact that he was already covered in his own sweat and tears from, again, over-exhaustion, just had me watching with absolute heart eyes. Maybe I should go to therapy.

But yes, I feel the conflicting emotions. I really wanted him to not kill her, because I didn't want him to prove them all right. I really wanted him to be redeemed because he deserved it so much. But at the same time….. he just looked so hot doing it.

[nerdygaymormon]

Just out of curiosity, what got you to believe homosexual acts are not a sin or against God’s wishes? I’m queer and I’ve been struggling to know if it’s like The Words of Wisdom, in which some of those things we don’t know why we shouldn’t do but are advised not to partake in them anyways.

It was a process.

It began when I was 18 and I prayed to ask if God could love someone like me (a gay person) and I got the answer "You are not broken."

At college, my best friend (he was bi) and I unofficially became boyfriends and I felt all those feelings of giddiness that come with new love. It didn't last long, the semester ended a few days later

In my 20's & 30's, several times I got the strong message that it's okay for me to seek a relationship. I assumed this meant God was gonna fix the church and then I could have a boyfriend, but it seemed very clear that having a boyfriend wasn't a problem to God. I also tried dating a wonderful woman, but there was nothing beyond liking her as a friend. There was none of that electricity from holding her hand that happens when I hold a man's hand.

As I was approaching 40 is when I decided to come out. I finally reached the point where I wasn't so ashamed and scared that someone might find out. This is part of who I am and no longer should I have to deny and pretend that it's not.

I started finding that there are scholars who disagreed with the general idea that the Bible is wholly anti-gay. The story of Sodom wasn't about sodomy. Similarly, the other verses of the Bible which are used to clobber gay people don't say what people assume they do.

Also, the church has changed its understanding of gay people. When I was young, simply having homosexual feelings was a sin and something you needed to repent of and work on changing. Eventually the church leaders came to understand people can't voluntarily change this part of their nature, and the teachings changed to it's okay to 'be' gay as long as you don't 'do' gay. I started to wonder if there will be more changes to come, and what is it that is the foundation the church's teachings on this? What revelations or scriptures are used for the policies and teachings about LGBTQIA+ people?

A big change that came with being out is that I started meeting other queer people. Going to the Affirmation conference in Utah introduced me to a lot of people whose life experiences were similar to mine. These are good people, they are not the villainous stereotypes that I'd been taught. As I learned their stories and the results of the anti-queer LDS Church policies in their lives, I could see it was bad fruit.

Due to being suicidal, I started therapy and learned that I had a lot of bad fruit in my life that sprang from the negative messages I had believed about myself. In addition to suicidality, I have social anxiety disorder, symptoms of PTSD, struggled with low self-esteem, I used to self-harm, I spent years suppressing my feelings which made me feel numb to life, and I'll be speaking to my doctor this month about the possibility that I have an eating disorder. These are bad fruits and come from the negative things taught at church about people like me.

A few years ago, I decided to start dating and it's been amazing the good feelings this gives. Getting my first kiss set off fireworks for me, it felt so good and so natural.

I guess I would say that suppressing my natural orientation caused a lot of harm, and the times I allowed myself to explore my gayness brought positive feelings and changes in how I viewed myself. The LDS Church used to define how I thought of myself as a queer person, but in time my queerness changed how I viewed the church.

[reaperdaughter]

Since I will literally take forever to get a full verse info up, some handy dandy info for the I'll Be Seeing You verse

Kelly was born in 1916 the youngest child of Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt. She was born after her father died and her mother only found out she was pregnant with her a few weeks before her father boarded the steam liner that would cause his death.

Kelly is a mutant and was born with the following set of powers. Delayed aging which manifested around the age of 26. Kelly ages much much slower than the normal human, allowing her at the physical age of 107 to still look in her late 20s, early 30s. She was also born with superhuman strength, senses, stamina, durability, speed, agility and reflex.

The Vanderbilt family was essential in helping fund the SSR and Kelly went to work with them during the war. It was through the organization that she would meet and form a lasting and deep friendship with Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. She would also fall in love with James Barnes while they were serving Europe with the Howling Commandos. Kelly wasn't on the mission with the train, due to the suspicion that she may be pregnant. She wasn't, but the regret and speculation of what might have changed had she been there never leaves her.

After the presumed death of both James and Steve, Kelly spends 10 years trying to find James body in an effort to get closure and also bury the man she loves at home in New York. It isn't until the 60s that she reaches out to Peggy, wanting to do something more than feel like a ghost in one of the many family homes. Her old friend puts her to work as a field agent for SHIELD.

In 1985 she finds out about Zola working for SHIELD, that Peggy and Howard not only knew about it but were involved in bringing the man there. The fight is the worst the friends have ever had, with the mutant woman walking away from SHIELD forever. Kelly never speaks to Howard again, she only sees Peggy again in 1991 at Howard and Maria's funeral. The interaction is strained between the friends and it can never truly be like it was

Kelly and Tony had always had a relationship that modeled more of cousins than an Aunt and nephew. Looking for something totally different, she reaches out to him in the early 2000s to help her totally recreate herself. She wants away from Nick Fury and his attempts to bring her back into the fold, away from the Vanderbilt name. Tony helps her move the money she's accumulated into offshore accounts, purchase the building that Steve and Bucky had lived in Brooklyn and created a whole new identity for her.

Kelly Barnes goes to medical school and becomes a surgeon, eventually becoming the Chief of Cardiothoracic Surgery at New York Presbyterian. Her Chief of Surgery knows who she is, knows what she is. It had been impossible to hide from a nephew of Timothy "Dum Dum" Dugan. He'd had a picture of her and the others hanging on the wall in his office when she first interviewed there (it’s since been taken down) When Tony is taken in 2008 and comes home needing extensive follow up surgeries, the only one he trusts to do it is his cousin.

She's in a 9 hour surgery the day Steve Rogers goes running barefoot through Time's Square, 15 minutes down the street from her OR. Tony holds off telling her, unable to figure out how to say the words out loud. He keeps meaning too until it's too late and New York is attacked. She's not in the hospital, a late start and a planned overnight shift means she's home in Brooklyn when aliens come from the sky. She fights, does her best to keep people safe and triage the injuries she can until it's over and the threat is done and she heads for the hospital and her job. It's nearing 3am when she finally, finally catches a glimpse of blonde hair and a familiar uniform on the TV, all but collapsing in a panic attack in the middle of the ER.

[kivaember]

1, 16, 19 for armored core maybe?

like with the other ask, if you look under the read more, you agree to see opinions that may run counter to yours!

the character everyone gets wrong

HM this is tricky since there's a lot of flexibility with the characters to allow for your own headcanons that there's no real incorrect way to portray them. I mean, we've managed to avoid the pitfall of Iguazu being turned into a woobie, bc everyone fully embraces him being a hater loser guyfail, which is how it should be.

Hmm... I think I'll pass on this question bc I can't actually think of anyone that "everyone" gets wrong dfhfdhdf

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

not gonna lie, i sat here for a good while trying to think of something, bc amazingly a lot of people's characterisation/headcanons/etc are pretty close to mine, at least close enough for me to accept or at least understand. mostly i just have nitpicks which seem a bit too petty to flaunt LMAO

like, iguazu being a hater guyfail who's constantly stepping on rakes? freud the fightsexual who in another life 621 would've drawn up a restraining order against? walter caring for 621 but he's so fucking messed up thanks to parental neglect (amongst other issues) that he has no idea how to process/show it? allmind who is both very clever yet extraordinarily lacking in common sense? my fave hcs are widely agreed upon...

HMM. oh wait, there is one minor characterisation i'm kinda meh towards, and that's having Hawkins be like. super old. people have him look like he's in his 60s or smth and almost a grandfather... he didn't sound that old, and while he was certainly old-fashioned in calling Pater 'my boy' or 'son', he came across more like. idk. late 30s/early 40s. that's still being in your prime if you're a fit, healthy human! esp in ac6 verse where humans are likely long lived, esp augmented ones. honestly envision pater/hawkins as like, pater as the young (20s) intern getting involved with his supervisor in his 40s sort of thing. something you'll see in a porno somewhere.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

i am shameless. absolutely shameless. i'm never mad, ashamed or horrified to discover i like anything no matter how weird or degenerate it is. nods.

[weaponizedembrace]

Hey, everyone! I haven't been around this part of the internet for quite a long time, and I'm not sure who is still around that would remember me, but I am back! Sort of!

I've been debating coming back to Tumblr because I've been really needing some rp, but I'm not sure I have the energy for this platform if it's as busy as it used to be, so I'm hoping I could entice at least couple/few of you to come rp with me on Discord?

I still have muse for Bucky/Jamie(modern Buck) and Steve is... in my head somewhere, and maybe they will come out to play again (esp if I really click with a writing partner), but I have been playing Divinity: Original Sin II, and Ifan ben-Mezd has been LOUD in my head, so I'm really wanting to write him. The short description is that he's a 40-something ex-military (in the Medieval-ish [???] universe of the game) mercenary with a boatload of shame and guilt (bc duh, dark and sexy broody hero), a crossbow you don't want to be on the wrong end of, a sexy smile, and oh yeah, he's also a sorcerer in a world where magic is vilified, and a reluctant/resentful "chosen one" of one of one of the gods of his world. :D

If anyone is interested, I could maybe write up a short bio/info about him? I don't have verses for him (yet?), and I'll just be honest rn and say I'd really love shipping and smut, as long as it makes sense and there's chemistry (I'm ok with slow-ish burns and he's queer). Looking for para rp (min), adult partners only (I was old when I was here a couple years back and I'm older now), blah blah blah.

Please message me if you're interested, or reply here, or even just send me something to say hi, because I have missed this space and my writing buds here. <3

This weekend is going to be absolute chaos for me, as I'm performing in a shadow cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show tomorrow and Saturday, which has been a dream to do for a million years, but is going to have me AFK a lot and likely energy wiped later. If you hmu, I'll try to respond when I can. I also literally don't know if I'm set up to get notifs from Tumblr anymore, so I may not see them til I log on again, so please be patient! <3

[not-poignant]

December 2023 Writing Round-Up

Here's the monthly round-up of everything written and posted in December 2023! It's the final round-up of this year! It's been a great month for housekeeping, and behind-the-scenes stuff happening on Patreon (and Ream!) But here's the chapters that were released: Underline the Black 73 

Underline the Black 74 

Underline the Black 75 

Underline the Blue 07 

Underline the Blue 08 

Constellations 01 

The Nascent Diplomat 39 

The Nascent Diplomat 40 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Underline the Blue 11 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Constellations 04 (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 31 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 32 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

2014-2017 Chapter Commentaries - Full Compilation (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

2023 Chapter Commentaries - Full Compilation (Mosk&Eran Tier+)

Song Spotlight - Full Compilation (All Tiers)

FANFICTION

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 27 

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 28  

Palmarosa 12 

Palmarosa 13 

Palmarosa 14 

Palmarosa 15 

*

It was a much quieter month on the writing front. I managed 43,000 words by some miracle, across a bunch of different stories. 

A reminder that enrolment into the Merch Tier to get the May/June rewards is still valid until mid February!

*

On the writing side, I wrote across multiple stories: Palmarosa, Constellations, Underline the Black, and Underline the Blue. 

*

I had to step back on posting for my own health/sanity. And I'm taking the first two weeks of January off from posting chapters. I'll still be writing, but in between raising a puppy and also just general burnout, I'm still putting some mega health-preservation in place so I don't get really sick. 

You will mostly notice this in the form of one Underline the Black chapter not going up each month, to give me a Sunday-to-Sunday stretch with no chapter updates. I will still be active and around! These aren't holidays from writing or interacting with you all, just from the schedule itself. :D 

*

For those who remember the Merchantverse novel Tradewinds, this is coming in book / e-book form to Patreon and Ream only in the Gary+Efnisien Tier or higher. It is a completed Fae Tales Verse story, that focuses on merchant fae in the southern hemisphere, and Seelie vs. Unseelie merchant traders. This will come in January 2024.

*

I'll see you all in January 2024! Which is in one hour! Thanks so much for making this year incredible! :D

[lexondeck]

I need another music ask which reminds me I haven’t answered the last couple 😬 but as we’re deep in our Jason Isbell obsession:

Top 5 lyrics- can be any album?

I couldn’t pick just 1 gif so good luck picking just 5 lyrics 🤷🏼‍♀️

I said this was going to take a long time, but in a million years I couldn't ever pick 5 top lyrics. Every time I listen to a song I hear it completely differently. I also could've chosen all lyrics from one song on Weathervanes let alone all of his music. But here we are 5 lyrics that struck me in this moment.

"I ain't use to this seeing everybody's hand. I was raised to be a strong and silent southern man" Middle of the Morning- Weathervanes This hits me so freakin' hard every time. Because I can't help but think where we could be as a country if we didn't raise kids (especially boys) to be strong and silent.

"Can't say I love her, but she's someone to talk to" Volunteer - Weathervanes I'm so taken by this, because I know he's talking about a relationship but this is so human.

"Maybe we'll get 40 years together but one day I'll be gone and one day you'll be gone" If We Were Vampires - The Nashville Sound It makes me sad, but reminds you to cherish every moment.

(This one is kinda long)

"No one gives a damn about the things I give a damn about. The liberties that we can't do without seem to disappear like ghosts in the air. When we don't even care it truly vanishes away" Alabama Pines - Here We Rest Alabama Pines is one of my favorites, especially this one live version that's just perfect. And I love this closing verse, it shows why you should be passionate and why you should care.

"There's a man who walks beside me. He is who I used to be" Again, just so poignant it reminds you of growth but also of who you always are.

I love Amanda's style 😍

[the-invisible-queer]

How does a grown man beef with a child? Was it his daughter in the kitchen with your brother? Because if so that admittedly is a poor tactical choice.

And yes please give us all the decade old tea I bet it’s still good. Don’t even bother with pseudonyms if you don’t feel like it

OH BESTIE

Buckle the fuck UP and I'll drop initials so I don't get sued because the youth pastor is currently in a legal suit against his own father rn THE TEA IS PIPING

Our Characters:

Eddie - My older brother

R - Senior pastor

M - Youth pastor

M&M - M and his wife because they both suck and are one entity in one story

G - R's current wife

E- R's ex wife BUT NOT M'S MOM

JK - E & R's son

I've got 3 stories so it's long as fuck. There's aren't the only scandals just the main ones that have to deal with M's bitch ass. I can't wait to hear that he died. I'm gonna piss on his grave.

SO Eddie got the title of "junior youth leader" when he was like 15/16 because he WAS the youth group. People only showed up to hang out with him. He knew everyone. He knew everything that was going on. He was the one keeping the peace because we were ROWDY fucking kids.

FOR THE RECORD Eddie's kitchen fingering was not with M's daughter. It was with his first girlfriend.

Story 1: Local trashy white man picks on Puerto Rican teenager

Eddie is actually the reason M's daughter's bathroom fucking scandal wasn't a FULL scandal. He kept that shit underwraps and stopped the gossip because he was friends with both parties involved.

M wasn't our original youth pastor. We used to have this ANGEL named Tim but he moved out of state so R gave the job to his son. I never liked M and then when he gave me shit for taking Fridays off because I was exhausted from school I hated him. He was NOT meant for that position. I think he only got it because he was a big kid (derogatory).

NO ONE liked M. Deadass no one came to youth group for the lesson. We came to hang out with out friends we only got to see on the weekends.

Literally the beef STARTED because Eddie was smoking off property BEFORE youth group with a few other teens. M didn't like that because he's supposed to be an example.

Keep in mind Eddie was 16yrs old. Living in an abusive household. Taking the brunt of the physical abuse from our mom because he protected us. And he was a poor kid going to a private school and had to keep a certain GPA to stay. Man was stressed and JUST wanted to smoke before he had to go infront of his peers and friends act like everything was perfect and he was hyped for God for 2-3hrs every weekend.

So for like 2 months M and Eddie were going back and forth on Facebook. Indirect posts, comments. EVERYTHING WAS OUT IN THE OPEN! Eddie refused to move it to DMs because he's not stupid. If this grown man wants to act a fool he was going to do it in front of EVERYONE!

Like M was judging him so brutally and pulling out Bible verses out of his ass. It was annoying.

It came to a head when R basically told my dad to control his son. Imagine being I'm your late 40s with a son in his late 20s picking a fight with a 16yr old. And you blame it on the CHILD!

That obviously didn't sit well with my dad.

And it wasn't like my dad was just some dude. My dad was head of security. My mom was heading the baby/toddler care classrooms.

We were at the church SEVERAL days out of the week.

That was my second home at that point. It's the church I grew up in.

WE WERE PART OF THE CHURCH!

So we kind of started getting pushed out of the church. I believe we had been there for like 11 years at that point.

We finally left after a year of the awkwardness and feeling like it wasn't home anymore.

Story 2: Death, Devastation, and Divorce

This one is rough. Deals with losing a child. And is still very much a story that hurts me 19 years later.

In 2005, R and E's son, JK, who was only 7 at the time died on an amusement park ride. He was a friend of mine and I was absolutely fucking devastated.

R and E were still married and E was the worship leader at the time.

And it was FUCKED UP devastating. Because E took JK's body home and prayed over him for 3 days for God to resurrect him. Like she admitted this in front of the entire congregation. What made her stop and accept it was he came to her in a dream and told her he was not leaving heaven.

There was a huge rift at the church over it. Instead of people supporting R grieving his baby half of the church ended up leaving following this.

People didn't like that R rightfully took a break from preaching despite E still heading the worship team. He had guest pastors come in and give sermons. I think he took 3 months off.

During this time E had an affair with the man who she is now married to.

So obviously R and E divorced. Got in front of the whole congregation and broke the news. E left the church and opened a little cabaret theater with the money from the amusement park lawsuit from JK's death. E took all the money from the lawsuit because R didn't want it.

Even though I think he could have out some of that money towards the church but I digress.

A few years later R met and married G and they're still together. I adored G and still very much hope she's doing well.

Story 3: NEW TEA POPPING OFF AS WE SPEAK

SO I can't remember the date but I had a dream that Joe and I visited a church in Texas and it happened to be pastored by R. It was a weird dream because I hadn't thought of R in years and why was he in Texas?

TURNS OUT during COVID R and G sold the church and moved to Texas. I HAD NO IDEA THIS HAPPENED!

And the day I had the dream R&G posted on their Facebooks EXPOSING E, M&M and some other not important assholes from the church.

THE FUCKING DRAMA

So when G came into the picture people were weird obviously. She wasn't E. And some Christians don't believe in divorve and remarrying.

But what R&G exposed was some of the leaders didn't accept her. E still had loyalties within in the church. WHICH IS WILD!remarriage. She had spies.

Also despite E getting all the lawsuit money from JK's death, in the divorce she fought for alimony on top of child support. R and E had another daughter.

R claims she had 10% of his salary. He didn't fight or stand up for himself because he was trying to make it as quick and clean as possible for their daughter.

He also took accountability for not protecting and defending G from the sharks in the church's leadership.

E and her spies at the church made R and G's lives a living hell behind the scenes. AND NO ONE KNEW!

And even now that R and G are on the other side of the country E and M&M are still making their lives hell, trying to claim their new ministry is fraudulent.

Imagine caring that hard.

NOW let me tell you about M&M! So M married M² and I had no issues with M² but now as an adult I realize if she chose and married that piece of shit why wouldn't she also be a piece of shit?

So R alleges in his post that M&M did some sketchy ILLEGAL shit in the church that made him ask them to step down from leadership instead of throwing their asses in jail which they didn't like. Which at that point should have just sent them to jail.

He didnt specify because M&M/E and R&G are currently suing each other. It's a big MESS!

And after M&M were forced to step down they left the church and moved to NC.

And M&M/E we're trying to turn the rest of R's family (his mom and siblings against him) but fortunately they all knew better.

People mentioned in the lawsuits are people from the church my family knew personally.

Mostly all people I never fucking liked too. Which is why I trust my gut about people always.

It's a WHOLE thing and my mom is watching Facebook for updates.