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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 2 years

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What are Luca and Gail’s futures like? Are there any big changes in their lives after they graduate?

This is something I've really struggled with deciding, and so I actually very much appreciate your asking because it gives me an opportunity to stop dawdling and really iron out the details.

I'll talk about Gail first, as that's much simpler, for reasons I'll get into down the road. Her trajectory has always been one that was destined to do a u-turn. Unlike Luca, it wouldn't have mattered who Rakepick actually killed, because she was aiming for Ben. The moment she took a shot at Gail's brother, Gail was done with Rakepick and done with R. Nothing could win her back, though they certainly tried and Gail may have had moments of doubt. In the end, Gail believes in the establishment (trading her loyalty to R for her loyalty to Dumbledore and The Ministry) but she's loyal to her values above all else. She has a lot of integrity.

So she's going to go down fighting if she has to, and Gail is the kind of character I could almost see dying in battle, going out in a blaze of glory, taking a dozen R agents down with her and protecting/saving her friends. I could see her lighting a flame on her wand, glaring at Peregrine, and making the building they're both in explode. She'd do it. However, we all like happy endings here, and Gail has so much to live for even if she doesn't think about that.

I've given this a lot of thought and I still can't really decide between Talbott and Badeea for her end-game love interest. Maybe she starts out getting involved with Talbott, but later on in life, maybe in her 30s or something, the two of them separate. Only for her to go and live with Badeea. Maybe. Either way, I can see Gail and Talbott both entering the Auror Program. Gail passes muster and becomes an Auror, either through talent or a free pass from having already worked for Moody...but I'm not at all sure that Talbott is admitted. I've talked about this before but I think that could go either way, and we know he has a fallback when it comes to Healing. He might also decide to switch careers later in life if he finds that hunting Dark Wizards just isn't to his liking.

Either way, Gail is a person who gives herself over to conflict, diving head first into danger because she doesn't know anything else and it just feels normal for her. Safety would induce anxiety, as sad as that is to say. She is the warrior that has never known peace. But she wants to. She needs it, she just isn't ready to accept it, not in her youth. Though she is still drawn to people who provide that sense of serenity, even if she can't place her finger on why. Either way, if she eventually quits the Auror Office, I could see her going into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, or even doing something as mundane and simple as working a shop with Badeea.

One thing's for certain - no kids. She's not the nurturing type and she never will be. Her upbringing was far too fucked up for her to have any confidence in her ability to raise a child, even if she had any desire to do so - which she does not. She's too easily annoyed. But she's also caring, and she does make for a good leader. In my original concept of the story, she eventually became the Leader of R, and worked to make them better from the inside out. That could still happen but it would basically be an AU. Among other things, that fateful night where Rakepick fired a killing curse at Ben would need to have just, like, not happened.

Ah, speaking of Ben, this relationship grows more tumultuous the older they get. Initially, they'd still be very close, as thick as thieves, but as Ben becomes "New Ben" I think it would get tricky. Gail loves seeing Ben come out of his shell and it brings them closer, but also, he's rebelling. She's always been the "leader" of this friendship, the one with all the control, and he's now exercising his independence. Gail wouldn't know how to handle that. She'd be both impressed and resentful. She would grow more used to it and they'd adapt to each other's needs, especially if Ben became an Auror too, and he might. But when Gail has her second turn-around, and realizes what she needs in life (This would be the point that she steps down from running R, in that AU) when she resigns as an Auror, I think her bond with Ben might become more strained.

But ultimately, Gail's not going to have a peaceful death. She's not going to live to old age. Even if she eventually frees herself from that kind of life...she just can't stay away. She's a chaotic person and she has the ability to help, so she will. Always. She'd be on call or if nothing else, she'd show up if the Aurors needed help. Same goes for the Order of the Phoenix. Same goes for (a reformed) R. She doesn't turn her back on people. She doesn't walk away. Gail was never going to pass away in her sleep at age 99. Sorry, but the more I think about it the more I'm sure that Gail as been fighting this battle her entire life, a battle that never ends until she loses. And she can't fight forever. She's been the last one standing in many conflicts, but sooner or later, it will catch up to her. Well, that sure was cheerful. Let's talk about Luca now. Here is where things get awkward.

Ever since Y6CH18, Luca's future has been in flux.

The initial concept of their character revolved around their loyalty to Jacob and love for him. This is what fueled their search for him, what motivated them to charge into danger when they are otherwise not the sort of person who would ever do so. Gail is the warrior, and Luca is a healer by nature. But for Jacob, they'll do anything. This is also the reason Luca was drawn to people like Tulip and Merula. In them, Luca is unconsciously reminded of Jacob and thus finds familiarity and safety. The chance to resume their "caretaker" role, as they don't know how to function without it.

Why am I talking about all this? Because of the age-old writing prompt: Figure out what means the most to your character, and then take it away. Luca's backstory is written around the inevitability that they will eventually lose Jacob forever and have to accept that loss. In my original concept, Luca had to watch Jacob die, in roughly...the middle of Year 6. What's more, he was killed by Farah - Luca's mother, in a #PlotTwist betrayal...are you seeing the problem? Yeah, Y6CH18 came along and wrecked everything. Because it was almost perfect, but the details are wrong, and it changes the whole story.

Rowan is one of the most important people in Luca's life, but they're not like Jacob. Not like Tulip, Merula, Beatrice, or Skye...chaotic people that Luca would look out for, and try to rescue. No, Rowan is like Penny and Chiara and Orion. They're the one who looks after Luca. Losing them instead of Jacob should be a minor change, a detail...but it just isn't. It's so much more. Not helping is that Merula is the Hogwarts Mole, which does permanent damage to her relationship with Luca and the Trouble Trio in general. Luca's future has been thrown into disarray and uncertainty.

So essentially, the "Rowan Lives" AU is even more essential to plot out here, as defining Luca's future in a world where Rowan is dead and Jacob is not...is difficult to conceive. If Jacob's dead, Luca still has their support system in the form of their friends from Hogwarts. The Circle of Khanna, even if they aren't named as such, would be there for them. Rowan would be there, as would Tulip and Merula. These are the people that Luca is closest too. But if Rowan's gone, if Merula is the mole...oh boy, I need to think about this.

See, Luca does love Merula. Even in timelines where there's no shipping between them, Luca will still always love Merula in some capacity. It's just who they are, it's how they were written. Luca's character is, among other things, an interpretation of every single pro-Merula choice one could make in-game. But even they have limits. When they find out Merula is the mole and she asks if they forgive her...they don't say yes. They say, "It will take time." Because losing Rowan breaks Luca. So does losing Jacob, but the difference is, I know what losing Jacob will do to Luca. Rowan? Even I'm not sure how that affects them moving forward. But between that and Merula's betrayal, and how the two are irrevocably linked by R being responsible for Rowan's death...everything Luca knew is wrong, and the support system they acquired at Hogwarts now feels permanently tainted. See, I'm analyzing how Luca would handle this, and I don't like it. I don't like this timeline for them. Losing Jacob works, he was unhealthy obsession for them, that they needed to get over. But losing Rowan just...sucks.

I'd imagine Luca and Jacob would have to do some work on their relationship as adults, and Luca would need to learn to see Jacob as he truly is. That would take time. Originally, it was going to be a #RebuiltPedestal where they idolized him in youth, grew to doubt him during his disappearance, and then felt horrible guilt after his demise. A similar trajectory played out with Rowan. MC's distance from them was interpreted as Luca suspecting them of being R, but once they were Imperius'd and it became clear that they weren't, Luca felt horrible, apologized, and reconciled with Rowan to only grow closer than before. But with Rowan living on borrowed time, I instead feel the need to throw the entire rift in the trash. Luca would probably reach some kind of parting of the ways with Merula, maybe, and this level of maturity would reflect in their newly established boundaries with Jacob. They'd stop being a doormat for their loved ones. Meanwhile, someone would need to fill the hole in Luca's heart that Rowan left behind, albeit in a different way.

So who is Luca's new best mate? Not Tonks, I mean, what, do I really want Luca to go through that again? Not Penny either. I love her but I'm a little salty that the game has essentially tried to do this itself, so no. Ben? Nah, they were never that close. Chiara? It is a strong possibility. Luca and Chiara are remarkably similar. I could actually see Luca ultimately finding happiness with either her or Talbott, since both of these characters are written so well when it comes to shipping them with MC. But I think the most likely character that Luca would become best mates with is Beatrice, especially once she graduates and they can actually hang out. (Though they'd also write a lot.) Beatrice could also be Luca's eventual end-game love interest. ("Eventual" being the key word here. I'm talking like, when they're in their twenties.) Alternatively, they could just wind up with Tulip of course, but if The Trouble Trio breaks apart, I'm not sure it could come back together unless all three were present...

Either way, Luca and Jacob aren't as close in adulthood, but Luca still cares for him and is there for him. They'll also be there for Merula if and when she's in need, but they won't lay down on railroad tracks or otherwise disrespect them-self for her sake. Again, boundaries. They'll eventually find happiness with...someone. (Could be another OC at this point for all I know, I'm so damn fickle.) But what about their career? I've gone back and forth a lot between them studying creatures and them going into Healing. Given how Chiara, Penny, and Talbott were all hinted to be able to work at St. Mungos, I think they'd be drawn to working there as well, but keep in mind, in the timeline where Rowan dies, they'd feel a degree of distance from their school friends. On the other hand, I don't see them traveling the world to work with creatures unless Tulip and Merula were there with them, and that trio isn't likely to survive the Hogwarts Mole twist. One thing I do like about Healer Luca is that, given the addition of Sirona Ryan to the Potterverse, it opens up a lot of possibilities for what it could mean to Transition using magic. Suppose Luca, a Trans Healer, specialized in helping young trans mages reflect who they are inside on the outside?

One more thing, Luca absolutely becomes a parent. Perhaps they have a biological child with their partner at some point, but at least one of their kids will be adopted. (And they may only have one, who knows.) Luca has parent energy, they just do. They would be excellent at it and while it isn't something they ever gave much thought to, they would rise to the occasion flawlessly and not even feel that much anxiety about it. Luca is actually a very good teacher as well, but they never considered taking a teaching job at Hogwarts even if one opened up, as unlike Harry, they're not so fond of their old school. (Also, the only subject they'd even want to teach goes to Hagrid canonically, and he deserves it.) Unlike Gail, Luca is going to grow old with their family and friends, unless they have a Steve Irwin style death involving some unfortunate incident with a creature or something. It's possible, but Luca just has the energy of someone with a mundane and quiet death.

Didn't I say I would force myself to nail down the details? So much for that...

#Luca Fawley #Gail Fawley #Hogwarts Mystery OC #HPHM Jacob's Sibling #HPHM Spoilers #Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery #HPHM Jacob #Rowan Khanna #Ben Copper #Talbott Winger #Hayley #Is briefly mentioned #And so is #Patricia Rakepick #HPHM R

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hartsgold · 4 years

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khalid’s pjo au in a few bullets:

he’s the son of one demigod child of vayu, while his mother, tiana, was a child of athena. in other words, a powerful legacy who’s a concoction of two pretty interesting gods.

i want to say that since vayu had so few children with mortals, khalid's abilities are hardly diluted at all. his father, makram, is like Seriously powerful (a very wealthy dude) and i imagine has founded a great deal of help for stray demigods from this pantheon. nothing like camp half blood, but he makes himself available, you know. those kids need help and if he can help find them, then he will!

his mother ( who i think was once a camp leader as well as a known figure at chb) runs away with his father, earns the disdain of a great many people, et cetera. he grows up with his parents and it’s a very strange situation, specifically because the division between pantheons that makes him up is obstructive to monsters that seek him out (double the attacks, not including the demigods on each side who don’t trust him because of that, among other awful reasons).

as his parents are demigods, they’re very busy individuals with pretty large-names. despite his wealth and status, khalid struggles to feel at home.

i want to say he travels to camp half blood slightly before when the prophecy of seven happens? maybe three or so months prior. he plays some sort of helpful role as a tactician during this time, for sure.

in order to try and start building some connections between his two godly grandparents and their descendants. he’s a very independent and creative individual who has both wind and wisdom on his side. i want to say vayu especially watches his back, as khalid deals with so much prosecution and is so emotionally isolated by the people around him. he’s spoken with him directly a few times, though khalid remains dubious of just how much the gods are helping the world go ‘round.

he maintains his stance that he can’t leave his fate in any gods’ wills or destinies, though he understands that they’re very real.

he goes by claude von r*egan at camp half blood, obscuring his relationship with his father’s work (as a legacy of vayu and the modern equivalent of a king, however that works) in order to try and work his way around the athena cabin, though since he’s only a legacy and he’s very private about his origins, many are skeptical of him. chiron would have known his mother, and that she ran away from some of her obligations to be with someone elsewhere, so the riegan name has its own notoriety.

his personality and aims are essentially the same! he wants to unite the differences and strains between the two bloods and peoples that make him who he is.

mixed legend. white folks in the athena cabin prepare to look stupid

pro with a bow.

#i'll iron this out later if it doesn't make sense but feel free to ask me any q's!#❛ ・ﾟ you can't go home anywhere‚ and will drift on the wind of chance — pjo. ✧

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x3kristax3 · 2 years

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The Famous Line

Jake and MC meeting for the first time

thanks @inertflouride for this prompt

⚠️T/W: violence and language

Coming into my apartment after a long day of work. I crash on the couch, thankfully I had some leftovers in the fridge from the take out the night before. After watching a tv show I'm trying to catch up on and eating my dinner I decide it's bedtime. I check my phone to see if Jake has messaged me at all and nothing. I'm not too concerned as we haven't been talking daily since we found Hannah but when we do the feelings are still there. We both agreed we wanted to meet up but he has to shake his pursuers first. I had told him where I live in case something was to ever happen.

As I'm in the bathroom I hear faint knock on the window pane. I was so caught up in the music I was playing I didn't hear my front door open though. I go to check the window but before I do someone comes up behind me and puts their hand over my mouth and all I had was a curling iron in my hand that they made me dropped.

I start to panic, unsure who is behind me when my body goes weak. Just as I'm losing control I see someone in the window.

******

I finally come to my senses and I'm tied up to a chair. My mouth is gagged and I start to scream but it's muffled.

"If you want the gagged remove be quiet" a man says.

I turn my head and I see a guy, he's dressed in all black and tied to the chair as well. His black hair makes me wonder if it's him. As my eyes get big he looks at me.

"It's really me. This isn't how we were supposed to meet" he says, trying to undo the ties on his hands.

The door opens,"oh good you're both awake" the man says wearing a mask.

"Look you have me, let her go. She doesn't know anything" says Jake.

"See we thought of that but what are we supposed to levarage if you decide not to talk to us?" The man says again.

I feel tears run down my face as I realize there is only one way out of this.

"I swear I'll give you whatever you want. Just let her go" Jake says, looking at me.

"Lets see what she has to say. As she seemed to have screamed alot when passed out" the guy says and removes my gag.

I take a big breath of air, and look at Jake with pleading eyes. I finally notice his bruises and some blood on him. The guy gets in my face and grabs my chin towards him.

"Oh, was this the first time you have actually seen him? What a shame it might even be the last" he says with a grin.

I lose any control and hit my head on his as hard as I possibly can and he steps back.

"Oh your a little shit!" He yells as he slaps me. Then looks at Jake "Nymos, there is officially no letting her go. She waged her own war on me and I'm not even the head of the snake." He snares at Jake.

"I'll just cut the head off" I yell, going into flight mode. What he does realize is while I was doing that, Jake got his hands loose enough to slip out.

He storms back up to me and wraps his hands around my throat. "Those were your last words, you bitch!"

As he says that Jake gets free and gets behind him, snapping his neck. He unties his feet and then undoes my ties.

"You okay?" He asks, looking into my eyes.

I see those bright blues looking into mine and I lean my head against his. "I'll manage, let's get out of here." I say slowly standing up but losses my balance.

Jake helps me up and grabs the guy's gun. "Do you know how to shoot?" He asks, looking at me.

"I've been to shooting ranges" I say concerned.

He grabs the second one and hands it to me. "At least you know how to use a gun" he smiles, which melts my heart. "Stay behind me, if I don't see it just shoot okay?"

"Okay shoot first, ask questions later" I say with a smirk.

He heads to the door and opens it peaking out. He doesn't see anyone on either side and heads out. I peak out as well and do the same thing.

I go to open my mouth and he puts his finger to it to tell me no and I listen. Why does this man first time meeting him tell me to keep quiet and I flat out listen. All of a sudden I hear a gunshot coming from behind me and I move and turn. As I get the gun up Jake already shot and hit the target. My eyes get big as I realize this is going to take a lot on me to shoot someone. I pray Jake has enough ammo to get us out of here.

He takes my hand and pulls me towards more hallways and I feel like we're going to get lost but I trust him. He must sense my nerves and pushes me against a wall to steady my breathing for a second.

"We will be okay" he whispers into my ear. I feel myself calm down and he takes my hand again until we hear more gunfire and he shoots and I hear another. For the need to survive I lift the gun and shoot and I see the body drop to the floor.

He pulls me close again and we see a sign above a door that says exit and pulls me towards it. I have to run to keep up with him but I know I'm safe.

He gets into a car and I follow his lead getting into the passenger seat. He hijacks it and peels off. I keep looking back and all of a sudden I see a vehicle chasing us.

"Jake, we have company," I exclaim.

"Do you trust me?" He asks, looking at me as he puts his seatbelt on.

"Yes" I say, following his lead.

He speeds up and starts making a ton of turns. After 30 mins, we finally lost them and he pulls into a parking lot and we get out. I lean over and throw up.

"You okay?" He asks coming up to me.

"Not how we were supposed to meet" I say as I catch my breath.

He giggles and I swear it's the best sound in the world.

"Even when we are being attacked you know how to make me smile. By the way, good job keeping his attention so I could get my hands loose. However, we should get moving again" He says as he extends his hand. I reach for it and take it in his as we start to run away from the car.

Once he feels we're a safe distance away he stops and pulls me into him. I realize I'm still only wearing a big shirt that I use to sleep in and I blush. He wraps his arms around me.

"Back there I really had to put my trust in you, you know that right?" I say looking into his eyes.

"I'm glad you trust me enough too even though we never met before," he says as he runs a finger on my neck and I flinch from the guy trying to stangle me.

"I have my bag hidden so I can give you a pair of pants and let's go get that Chinese date" he says with a smile.

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #writing #fanfic #everbyte duskwood #mc x jake #duskwood jake x mc #oneshot

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sylverstorms · 3 years

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Mother Miranda x Lawyer!Oc ----Tilted Scales

Hello guys :) This is another commission I wrote for the amazing, wonderful @saltwatereulogies

Your support has been insane, I can't thank you enough. Hope you enjoy the story ❣

Three days.

That is how long you've been in the village, after years of studying abroad, before everything turns to shit.

As you slowly blink focus back into your eyes, you try to clear the haze from your mind. It feels as though you've collided with a truck. Your body hurts, your wrists protest in their iron cuffs, stuck to the wall as they are, having supported your weight while you were unconscious.

Desperately, you try to recollect the events that led you here...

A grey sky. A bleak day. One moment you were making coffee for your mother, excited to be able to sit down with her in the mornings again... and the next you heard the echo of screams.

Overcome by adrenaline, you bolted out of your house, only to witness a scene straight from a nightmare; humanoid monsters ripping villagers apart, cries and blood and animalistic growls all blending together into one mad mix.

And before you could even warn your mother...

Damn it all, what the fuck happened!

You suddenly struggle against your bonds, hard enough to rattle your whole frame. Your wrists burn from the grind against metal, but you don't care–

“Stop that. It is pointless and you will only injure yourself.” A cold voice, strangely familiar, says from far to your right.

You peer deep into the shadows, searching for the only other person in the empty room... until you see her. A mask advances on you, gold and shaped like a crow's visage, then wings folded into a cloak come into view.

You would be a fool to not recognize her. The local saint. The village's prophet. The very 'saint' your mother prayed to, for your safe return, all these years. Mother Miranda.

The sound of her heels bounces off the walls until she comes to stand directly in front of you. Looking past the openings of her mask now, you realize....

This isn't possible.

She hasn't aged a day. Not a single day, since you left the village. The years should show around her deadly blue eyes, somewhere, and yet they don't.

“I see you remember me...” she says, while you're still trying to find your voice. “Miss Warren.”

“What is going on? Mother Miranda, what happened to the village?!” you demand.

Her expression shows nothing. “The village is in need of... renovation.” she speaks, even, regal. “Repopulation, even.”

You stare at her with wide eyes.

“Now, don't give me that look. You would not be here if you weren't of the ones I chose to keep.” she continues. “You see, from now on, every single person in my domain will make themselves useful in some way, or they will be replaced. And you... you have been abroad studying law for a while now, yes?”

“I... yes.” you reply, still not fully having wrapped your mind around your situation.

“Excellent. What I need from you is simple. You will make the village independent from the state’s taxes as a religious organization... and you will keep foreign investors out from that point onward.”

What... what part of that is simple?!

“Do that for me and in return I guarantee your mother and you will go back to your house safe and sound. You will have no shortage of Lei for as long as you live, Miss Warren.” Miranda promises.

But it is not the sweet part of the deal your mind stays glued to. “And if...” you gulp. “If I can't work around the law to do that...?”

Miranda blinks slowly at you, like you shouldn't even ask such a basic question. Like the answer is obvious.

“Well. Then I have no further use for either of you.”

It is in this moment that it dawns on you.

This woman is no angel and no saint.

She is a devil.

You spend countless sleepless nights pouring over every single paragraph, every little opening or ambiguity in the law you can use to free the village of taxes.

To keep your mother in the dark about this, you work in the office Mother Miranda has provided for you, in her very stronghold.

Although technically it's her home, you don't see her nearly as much as you initially thought. She is gone throughout the day and returns late at night, not even sparing you a glance before heading for her chambers, at the upper sections of the building.

The days she does come into your office to inquire on your progress are few and far-between, your conversations always short and cold.

This evening is different.

“How is your work coming along, Miss Warren?” the prophetess asks with her aggravatingly nice accent, seating herself like a queen on the chair in front of your desk.

Your eyes are tired, but you force them on hers, through the mask obscuring her face. “I think I've got it. I'll be sending the necessary papers tomorrow and the answer shouldn't take longer than a month.”

“Very good.” she nods, a miniscule curve to her lips.

Icy eyes then drop to the wine in the whiskey glass at the corner of the desk. You think she will make a comment about drinking at work, but instead she says;

“Pour me a glass, will you?”

You will your hands steady as you comply, then carefully slide her drink over.

Miranda takes her mask with claw-shrouded fingers... and soundnessly sets it on the wooden surface. Then she pushes the veil at her hair back, shaking long, platinum locks free.

You do a double take you hope she doesn't notice. Because what the actual fuck.

You didn't think her hair was that long, or that straight, or that it would fall over her shoulders like she's staring in a shampoo ad. You didn't think her lips were shaped like a cupid's bow or that her skin was this flawless and radiant.

The helplessly lesbian part of you could begrudgingly admit she was beautiful before... but now you arrive to the painful realization she's drop-dead gorgeous.

“So. I've heard you won cases others would describe as impossible.” she begins.

“Nothing's impossible. You just need to know where to look.” you reply. Law is your comfort zone and she is not that far above you here. “But how do you know that?”

“I have my sources.”

"Nobody truly leaves this village, huh.”

“Not without my consent, no. But I knew you'd come back.” At your slight frown, she elaborates, “You would never leave your mother behind.”

She's right. There was a whole world of opportunities waiting for you out there and yet... here you are.

“Good work, so far. You can take the next two days off. Your eyes could use the rest, Miss Warren.” Miranda speaks, finishing her wine.

“Sarah.” you say. 'Miss Warren' is for clients and she is your boss.

Miranda's lips give a slight quirk that may or may not be a trick of the light.

“I know.” she replies and exits the room, long hair billowing behind her back.

The taxes were only the first challenge. Now that the village is free of them, investors are flying in circles around it like vultures over meat.

In the meantime, Miranda comes to talk to you more frequently.

Lately, it seems she has more free time. You wish that was a good thing, but...

“So... are you like... going to stay here?” You ask after reading the same sentence five times to make sense of it, because her gaze on you is distracting as fuck.

“I'm not getting in the way of your work.” she says. You want to argue she is, but can't quite do that in a way that won't get you killed.

“I'm simply not used to working with company. Isn't this boring for you?”

“No, actually. I find it interesting, even though science is my field of expertise.” she answers. “And the way you take notes is… amusing.”

You try not to blush as you look down at your notebook, filled with different colored markers and post-it squares with tiny stick figures pointing to the more important paragraphs. You have been doing this for so long to sort out information you didn't even realize you were keeping it up in her presence.

“What is this supposed to be?” she asks with a small smile, the first of its kind you've seen.

To your horror, her clawed pointer aims at a particularly silly doodle, barely the size of a pencil's eraser.

“A... bird.” you grimace like you've been stabbed.

“Ah, of course.” Miranda holds back a chuckle but you can tell she's dying to make a comment.

Studying becomes hell for the rest of the time she's there with you, those sharp eyes picking apart every little move you make. At the same time, though, the hours you spend with her make you realize...

She's not a saint, though she may look like one. She's not completely a devil, either, even if she may act as one, at times.

She's human.

Miranda shares nothing about herself when you chat, but she seems to like it when you speak about your time abroad and all the things that left an impression on you there.

Your conversation over wine is cut short, however, when you receive a call from a number you learned means nothing but trouble, lately.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” you tell her.

The one calling you is none other than this month's rival lawyer, trying to dispute your claim over the land for his own boss. He's lost to you before, so it's also personal, but you are confident you have cornered them good with the latest papers you sent them...

And you are proven correct, when, a few seconds later, he is all faux polite on the other line, resorting to offering you money for you to withdraw your arguments.

Miranda comes to stand next to you, listening in to what he's saying.

The problem with that is, the second her arm brushes yours and you catch a whiff of her perfume –which always lingers in your office long after she's left— youare the one who stops listening to him.

Your attention flies to other things, like the inches she has on you, the exact color of her pale blonde hair, the little glint of victory in her stunning eyes.

Oh, no. God, no...

You know what this is, the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Alarm bells go off in the back of your head, as though your own mind is telling your body how foolish it's being.

There isn't a worse thing you can do to yourself than be attracted to Miranda.

Over time, familiarity with the prophetess brings higher levels of difficulty into your 'try to ignore your crush on her' game.

Miranda joins your side and leans over your shoulder, sometimes, to peer down at what you're doing. You don't move and don't breathe until she's within a safe distance again.

Then there are the wayward 'reward' touches, when you turn another investor away from the village. She may pat your back or leave her hand on your shoulder, or even scratch your nape with her claws as a job well done.

You hope your poker face hides the fact you feel her touch on you for far longer than you should, after she's gone.

Tonight, the situation is the toughest it's ever been for you.

There is a rainstorm going on outside; the waterdrops are tapping against the windows of your office as though they're trying to break it. Miranda has pulled her chair next to you so you can talk easier, without having to shout over the cacophony.

“And basically the judge's decision was that—”

You are interrupted by a blinding flash of lighting, during which your mind lets you know the stronghold is easily the tallest structure in it's vicinity—

When thunder cracks down the sky and strikes the building, you nearly scream. Your body tenses and you jump; but Miranda's hands come to your biceps and hold you steady, against herself and your desk.

Another flash comes before you really have time to think about your proximity. She covers your ears with her palms before the thunderclap can send you into overdrive again.

“You are with me and you're scared of a little thunder?” she teases when things quiet down and your heartbeat eases.

It's true; Miranda is the more terrifying force of nature. At the same time, however...

You feel oddly safe to be this close to her.

“Well... I'm not scared right now...” you quietly admit.

Her pointer comes underneath your chin and lifts it so you are looking straight into her hypnotic blue eyes. How is this color even real...

“And why is that?” Miranda asks, her wings coming around you both. They're curtains of black, cutting out some of the storm's sounds.

You want nothing more in this moment than to run your fingers through each individual feather.

You lick your lips. That's...not a question you can answer if you want the balance in your arrangement with her to remain.

Perhaps, though, the scales have tilted for you long ago. You just haven't been brave enough to admit it.

You have the courage to face it now when she leans down and covers your lips with hers, warm in a manner you never imagined she could be.

Her wings pull tighter around you and your mouths slide more firmly together. Lipbalm and creamy lipstick mix, tongues brush, tasting of wine. You are shaking so bad on the inside from how much you want this, more of this, the rumbling of the thunder be damned.

Miranda's palm cups your flaming cheek when she pulls back, perfectly composed and staring at you with a little smirk in place.

You dare to turn a little, lay a tiny kiss on the inside of her wrist, beyond her rings and accessories.

You aren't very fond of storms, but...

You willingly walk right into the eye of this one.

#mother miranda x oc #mother miranda #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #fanfiction #creative writing #commission #thank you so much :')

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voltoise · 3 years

Text

Miitopia Refs Part 1: Main Team

Hey look, Miitopia art, that thing I wanted to do half a year ago and then didn't. Anyway, here's the main team!

The teams, for clarity, are:

Thief Four, Three, Eight, and Rox/New Agent 3 in Greenhorne

Scientist Four, Samus, Adam, and Pit in Neksdor

Cat Four, Viridi, Marie, and MB/Melissa in Realm of the Fey

Four stays a cat, Marie and MB switch roles between the Dark Lord and Darker Lord fight.

These are kinda rough but you can tell who I started with, probably. I'll do post-game party members and major NPCs later, probably. For now, I'm gonna explain some things below the cut.

Rox is not part of the Squidbeak Splatoon yet. It's a weird timeline situation. Despite writing in the notes that Three is not Captain, that's not 100% in stone, just know that the 3 Inkopolis agents are pre-Splatoon 3.

Adam is a cyborg to some extent (do not ask me specifics, I never ironed them out and it doesn't matter.) My "AI Adam is Adam's ghost" headcanon applies here. The "Guardian Spirit" essentially made a pseudo-replica body for him, and that comes with a whole lot of fun things like pain and the 3 senses he hasn't had in a while.

MB is a straight-up replica (physically.) She still holds a grudge against humanity and to a lesser extent, Madeline. This makes her identify as "MB," disregarding the identity given to her until she develops a relationship where she feels she won't be betrayed.

Viridi approaches MB (it was Four's idea to have her strike a deal for future damage control) and uses it as an excuse to recruit her into the Forces of Nature; they both have vendettas against humanity, MB can telepathically control "monsters," etc. Eventually, MB trusts Viridi enough to identify with her "human" name, Melissa (without the surname because she still feels betrayed.) Also, Vampire class, because identity and fun or something.

Four, Eight, Samus, and Pit are the main Final Boss team. Four is obvious (protagonist syndrome.) Eight is her best friend, a better fighter than Four, and the team healer. Samus is one of the strongest (disregarding Three for relative enemy scaling and Viridi because she wanted to be on the sidelines.) Pit has defeated gods and is probably the strongest.

Cat Four is funny.

If there are any questions, feel free to ask! I doubt there will be but you know.

Miitopia is fun.

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the-night-writer1 · 3 years

Text

Unforeseen Consequences Part 3

(this is a spicynoodleshipping fic if you haven't read the other two parts this won't make sense)

Red came too a few hours later, he glanced around the room and himself before spotting Mk holding his hand party on his side asleep. Red son looked at Mk confused for a moment.

How'd he get here? Mother would have preferred he be treated at the castle... Wait he left before she could get the castle doctor didn't he? Yeah he'd left with a bag of clothes. But how was Mk here?

Damm whatever was in the IVs made him way less foggy. Not that he didn't appreciate that noodle boy was here, Red son felt it been a thousand years since they last seen eachother. He was just confused, he figured if Mk found him in his sick ridden escape attempt, Red son just be dropped off. Not Mk holding his hand with the exhausted guilt ridden look on his sleeping face.

Red gently with his free hand removed Mk's head band. Sunshine knew better than to sleep with it on. Thankfully it was no problem to remove with a single hand.

"Red?" A voice said with a yawn from the other side of him. Red son turned his head to see Mei," how you feeling?"

".... better than I have been physically for the past week and half..." Red son said softly as he laid back on the bed and looked at the ceiling,"... What illness do I have that needs a stomach monitor?"

"Don't know" Mei said before yawning again,"doctor said he discuss it when you were coherent. He did say it didn't seem like cancer."

"good mother's going to be up my throat as it is for leaving as it is" Red son mumbled as he rubbed circles in to Xiaotain's hand,"He doesn't think I did this to get his attention does he?"

"no it's worse, he thinks he got you sick. I told him he was being ridiculous but you know how it is" Mei sleepily teased as she took Mk's head band from red son and wrapped around her wrist," he was apologizing to you the whole time we were coming here."

Red son sniffed the air and wiped his eyes, that was his sunshine alright. Blaming himself for stuff that wasn't his fault. For the love the Demon Bull king Red son had missed Mk so much. Even if they were still broken up he didn't care. He'd enjoy the little time Mk was willing to spend with him.

______

Iron Fan came to the hospital as soon as they got the call. Her husband having to wait outside due to his size. They both panicked when they'd returned to their child's room just to find an empty bed.

They were thankful he'd been found though she'd hoped he brought home instead of an E.R. He wasn't that sick was he? Oh gods was her poor baby that sick?

"we'd like you to stay here a few days so we could fully monitor you" The doctor said to her son as she opened the door. Red son nodded to him as Iron Fan walked in to the room.

She looked at the guest who'd beaten her to the punch. It was that fucking successor of Wukong's. The one who made her baby sick in the first place! She'd seemingly forgotten her own hand in this regard. He was holding her son's hand and rubbing his eyes.

" I'll back within the next few hours to run some tests. So try to rest and eat your breakfast which should arrive in 20 minutes. If you need anything page the nurses" The doctor said before he turned to walk out finally spotting Iron Fan. Red looked at Mk concerned he'd leave now that Mother had arrived.

"Is my baby alright? Why does he have to stay here for a few days" Iron Fan asked the Doctor. He sighed and had the demon follow him out into the hospital.

"Well ma'am he's seriously dehydrated and low on his vitamins for one. Secondly it's to make sure they both recover from stomach flu that caused him to throw up bile." The doctor said as he wrote something on Red's chart,"He shouldn't be moved either with how fragile he is at the moment with his IVs."

"We have doctors at home who can monitor him there. I don't see why any of them can't do the same as you"

"Ma'am with all do respect he already stated he rather stay in my care. Since he is an adult you can not sign him out without his content. I have other patients to look at" The doctor said somewhat annoyed as he left her in the hallway. Iron Fan was taken aback, Red rather stay in this cramped hospital than his own bed?

Surely the doctor was confused by what Red son said. He'd be more comfortable at home

___

"I don't know if I should tell them" Red son said to his beloved as he held Mk's hand. He was exhausted but at least Mk was still there. Noodle boy gently cradling Red son's face in his free hand.

"hey it's going to be okay you don't have to automatically tell them if you're not ready. We can focus on the small stuff first we still have time" Mk said as he rubbed Red son's cheek," I promise whenever you're ready we'll tell everyone okay?"

"alright noodle boy" Red son said as he nuzzled Mk's hand. At least he had his beloved back for the time being. Red son didn't know how long it last since he finally had an answer to why sunshine broke up with him so randomly.

"I'll be right here no matter what she says this time. Okay?" Mk said as he got up so he could give Red a proper kiss. If they'd gotten news before now it would have been better but he was still happy regardless. Red was more than than happy to receive said kiss as his mother opened the door.

"haven't you done enough to my poor son?" Iron Fan hissed breaking the kiss prematurely.

"shouldn't I be asking you that mother?" Red son hissed back as he pulled Mk onto the hospital bed," for convincing him to break up with me in the first place?"

Iron Fan froze, her baby had discovered the truth about the break up. Surely he understood why she did what she had to do right? He'd out live that boy plus that was Wukong's successor! He could do better!

"I think you should go update father I'll be here for a few days" Red son said coldly, in a tone he got from her. He didn't even turn his head to look at her, he was mad and upset she'd do this to him! Iron Fan was his mother and yet again she showed little support to his life choices. He done with it, he probably wasn't going to head home when the monitoring was over anyway.

"sweet boy I-"

"I don't want a lecture on I'm a disappointment mother just go" Red hissed before he shoved his face into Xiaotain's chest. Xiaotain held him close while glaring at Iron Fan.

Her baby boy thought she was disappointed in him? She did this so he'd get the best of the best. She stepped closer to the bed to try and get a word in with a gentle tone. However the staff soon blocked her attempt.

"He said to leave so go." The Monkie kid said with a almost snarl,"You've done enough. Leave him alone so he rest."

Iron Fan opened her mouth to say something then closed it. She'd really hurt her sweet baby boy hadn't she. She turned and walked out of the room closing the door gently behind her.

Dear gods what had she done to make him think she was going to lecture him about being a disappointment when he was clearly very ill? Why would that ever come to her son's mind? They were always proud of his achievements. Did...did they not show that enough? Were they to harsh on him? Surely he knew they loved him no matter what right?

She stood there for a moment thinking about it when she heard her baby boy cry through the door. Her heart sank in her chest. She was indeed the real reason he ended up so sick.

What had she done?

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #monkie kid #spicynoodleshipping #lmk mk #lmk mei #lmk red son #lmk PIF

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shtern-and-art · 3 years

Note

"Skeppy will probably cry" "Bad will probably cry". Bish, screw, that I am crying!!!

This whole thing was bloody gorgeous and I wasn't expecting that ending. I had no clue what ending to expect but that was definitely better than any I could have hoped for. Forest spirit to soulmate your honour!

I was terrified that you were gonna leave it at the point where he loses the spirit and becomes mortal again. If you had I would be actively sobbing!!!! And oh my god, the art!!! I still can't get over how wonderful your style is.

Imma ask fun things because if I don't I'll sit in a puddle of emotion all night:

What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it? Poor Skeppy trying to answer 101 questions about something he doesn't really use XD.

Is no one concerned that the odd couple from a town they never name has a pet wolf??

Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while. Find hidden creeks and befriend bears?

Does Bad still have a connection to nature and animals, like are creatures naturally more trusting of him?

Do they ever visit the og town again?

Does Skeppy still cause absolute chaos in other towns or has he learnt his lesson and only causes minor trouble now?

Does Bad ever try and study again? If he did what would he study and would Skeppy try to study as well?

Does Skeppy steal? I dunno, he just give off the vibe of a naughty lil trickster who'll pocket something if the owner refuses to sell it him.

Immediately after leaving the forest what the first 'argument' they have (not including the car one)?

Would they ever ride horse? If yes, how terrified would Skeppy be?

Skeppy falls outta tree. I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me that this man has great balance until he climbs trees. They are his mortal enemy and Bad finds this both hilarious and terrifying because he is going to hurt himself.

I had waaaaay more questions than I intended to have. My bad '^_^ but this story was way too much fun to read and you are entirely to blame for making it so engaging!

Make sure to take care of yourself and do stretches after and during drawing. You don't wanna hurt yourself <3

AaaaI’m so glad you liked it! :D And, dang, man, I cried while writing that part too :D

And I promised a nice ending for the main story, I did, and this one also makes the most sense narratively! For the story I wanted to tell, at least. Bad can’t really become human again, he’s changed to much. He can only move on, and do something with what he is, and has. And he did! :D That’s really nice and inspiring, this story will always have a place in my heart, heheh <3

Being a guardian spirit connected to a person and all, Bad may be not as strong as before, but he can’t die unless Skeppy dies first. And Skeppy can do that, but he’s pretty sturdy, and his lifespan operates on a whole other scale than human ones. And Bad knowing Skeppy’s real name balances it all out, makes them equal in the power and influence they have over each other.

So hellyeah, soulmates for the win :DDD

I’ll answer all questions under the cut, and this close up from one of the pages!

1) What's the first tech thing Bad will buy and how annoying will he be about it?

Probably a pager! Because it’s a more feasible thing to get than a wholeass computer Bad actually wanted :D An it means Skeppy will have to get one too, and that Bad will be having the time of his life texting him and everyone he can get a number from, even if they’re still in the room with him.

Poor Skeppy indeed, he can learn to appreciate the pagers, and later phones, too, and computers, but he really has 0 idea on how it all works and why Bad is so fascinated by it all.

2) Rat and regular people

Oh, she can shapeshift, just like Bad! If they’re out with people around, she takes form of a puppy, and Bad can pass her off as a weird mix breed rescue doggo.

3) Do they immediately go over to a different town or do they wander for a while?

Oh, since they have no end destination in mind, they can ride around for a bit, go visit some cool places and roadside attractions. Sadly, Skeppy is probably not spiritually or morally ready to full on befriend wild bears yet, and they do need money for gas and snacks. So, at some point they will have to stop somewhere and find work – at least for a bit, to save up. Life’s gonna be a bit complicated with all that, until Skeppy figures out his treasure-finding abilities :DD

4) Bad and nature and animals

He is definitely still in tune with all wildlife! Even more – Bad could become a proper guardian spirit for Skeppy in part because, in a way, Skeppy himself is part of the nature.

So yeah, Bad can understand animals (and plants) and communicate with them; they’re just more free to not take his shit, and Bad’s emotions do not “possess” them unless he makes an effort to do so.

He doesn’t like doing it, tho.

5) Do they ever visit the og town again?

Hm, I think they will completely forget about it for a while, until, like, 30+ years later they will be going somewhere, and find themselves around those parts. And they try to not appear too often in the areas they’ve spent a lot of time in already (they can be pretty recognizable, and also barely show signs of aging). But it’s been a long time, and the town’s really different now… So they make a stop, and spend a day there. They walk the unfamiliar streets between the new buildings, check out the popular hiking trail, the advertisements for hot springs and winter activities. The old cinema is still there, and is hosting an all-night marathon of classic horror movies of the last century.

Bad and Skeppy leave the town after sunset – the day was nice, but they have nothing more to do there. They ride through the forest on a well paved road, with radio playing something barely above the whisper. And in the dark of hot summer night, Bad can see the white stag running between the trees alongside their car. Shadows dance over the shimmering light of it’s fur.

Somewhere after the towns border, the stag disappears back in the forest. But the air in the car stays light and fresh, saving the smell of old pines and dry leaves all though the night.

6) Skeppy and chaos

Well, after the whole mess in the main story, Skeppy definitely learned some lessons, especially about not being a dick :D

But the thing is – he can’t really help the fact that things tend to stir up around him a lot. He naturally brings in chaos into everything, because he is, in part, a personification, or an outlet for it in the world. And so, to feel, well and good, and himself Skeppy gotta do stuff that disrupts balance, and creates some mayhem. And in gave him a lot of trouble in early life, but in the course of the main story he learned that he can chose were he lets that chaos to take hold, learned what can come of that chaos, apart from utter misery.

Like, where it can help dismantle something destructive, and where – bring in the more positive change, that was already brewing, possible, but is stagnant for some reason.

Soooo, I can’t say Skeppy causes only minor chaos in his life, but he sure learns even more about not being a dick :DDDD

7) The studying

I think Bad will want to get a higher education at some point, because he wanted to, and because it’s already new millennia and all that. Bet he’ll go for something very technical and/or literature. Maybe he’ll start by piking up some classes in small time colleges, when they stop in one place for a while, and later get into an online program, because why not.

Skeppy is not a college guy at all. He’ll listen to Bad talk about it, read textbooks if he wants to, can research stuff, buuut going to classes and doing homework is definitely not his thing.

8) Stealing

Well, you’re right, Skeppy can and will steal stuff out of spite! And will be scolded by Bad for it, and will not feel (that) sorry about it. But real stealer between them will be Bad himself :D

It’s just… he has the corvid tendencies, and a hoard (a box) of sentimental mementos from different people and events, and the thrill of stealing something small and harmless is very exciting. Bad is very proud of his little collection. Skeppy finds it very adorable, a bit hypocritical, and kinda creepy. Like, that pretty box he gifted Bad at some point is now full of stuff like:

- pressed flower from the clearing they had a picnic at on their anniversary

- the button the waitress lost that one day the storm caused a black out in the whole town

- some small animal bones

- couple pretty rocks Bad stole from Skeppy’s pockets

- penny that was once glued to the ground

- a handful of teeth people (and not people) lost in fights with Bad

- pen from some fancy hotel

- rainbow dash keychain that belonged to a child

- the list goes on

9) Argument

Oh, that same day they’ll fight over whether they should stay at the really crappy and suspicious looking motel, or go sleep in a perfectly fine forest near the road. Ironically, Bad wanted to try out the motel (because, yay, first time spending the night back in civilization), and Skeppy was the one insisting on sleeping in nature (because the motel looks like it could give you 10 diseases if you even stand near it, and sleeping in the forest is kind of nice, and means they can cuddle).

10) Horses

The guys will probably ride them at some point. Well, Bad will ride, and Skeppy will sit on his horse and hope it knows what to do and where to go, because trying to make this giant thing do something seems dangerous. If they’ll have to actually go somewhere fast, Skeppy will not survive that day, his butt (and legs) will be dead for days to come.

And riding with Bad on one horse may sound romantic and nice, but all romance dies when the gallop starts.

11) Skeppy and climbing

Skeppy is more down to earth kind of guy, more of a “rocks and caves” kind of creature, real-life lizard person or something. Up on the trees and in the air – not really his element, yeah. But it doesn’t mean that Skeppy will accept this fact easy. The embarrassment of never managing to safely make it down a tree is too strong, he just has to do it all over again, and again. And again. Because, clearly, he was distracted this time. And the time before that Bad was teasing him, and it “disrupted his flow”. And, really, maybe these trees here just do not like Skeppy much, and make him slip a lot. Yeah.

So, more often than not, if Skeppy climbs a tree, he will not stop climbing it until he falls, or the tree ends. Bad had to take him off high branches couple times, forcefully, because, of course, Skeppy was sitting there for 2 hours just to properly enjoy the sunset. He can climb down at any point, he just Choses not to. The view is amazing. The bark is literally part of his skin now, not because he holds on tight, no, he’s just Than Much one with the nature )<

---

Don’t apologize for the questions! It’s always so fun to answer them, and it makes me think more about stuff I may have skipped, or didn’t think about before. It’s really nice :3c

Again, thank you for the ask, and for being here for this story! <3

(And I’ll try setting timers for rest breaks while I draw, mb that will help)

---

In The Dark - masterpost

#mcyt #mcyt fanart #badboyhalo #skeppy #skephalo #In The Dark #it's so hot here #my laptop's keyboard is like a stove #=c=#shtern talks

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bill-y · 4 years

Text

INURE

Peeta Mellark x male reader

[ We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family. ]

Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE

Part five: Click here, butters, elpacho, last meheecan.

Part six: You're here, dumb!

Part seven: Finally here!

Wattpad account: L0calxDumbass

Peeta and I end up helping Haymitch to his compartment, the reek of vomit and alcohol wasn't exactly pleasant. Since we couldn't set him down the bed, we ended up hauling him to the bathtub, setting the shower on him.

Peeta gave me an odd look when I laughed awhile ago; there was no humour in the situation after all. Forming a good impression wasn't really on my agenda. "It's alright; I can take it from here," he said.

I nodded, "Okay," I nodded, putting my lips together. "Do you—need me to call those Capitol people?" I asked, stumbling over my words. My confidence seemed to have been drained at some point.

He shook his head "No, I don't want them," he responded. I nod for the last time and head to my own room, relieved that I don't have to wash putrid vomit off Haymitch's chest hair, or something. Though it would be the perfect "revenge" for the people working here, I get why he doesn't want to see them.

I wonder, why does he want to help such a wreck? Was he simply kind like the time he gave me bread? Or was he using this to gain Haymitch's favour? A feeling of nervousness bubbled up within me, a kind Peeta Mellark was way more dangerous than an unkind one. Not everyone in the district can afford to be kind, so kind people make such a mark on me.

I looked at the packet of cookies at the table beside the fancy bed—a lump formed in my throat. Kindness would've been nice, but not in this situation. I sighed, taking my attention to the window instead.

There stood a lonely yellow flower, a dandelion. It took me back to the schoolyard, all those years ago. My eyes had just left Peeta's bruised face when I saw that dandelion; hope rose within me that moment, I plucked it gently from the ground and hurried home. I grabbed a small, broken bucket and grabbed Nal's hand and headed to a meadow. It was filled with the same flowers.

It was the first moment where Nal smiled after our Father's death. He loved the way the flowers smelled and looked. However, he was quite upset because we had to eat them, with the rest of the bakery bread. My father loved his plants, maybe a bit too much.

I remember countless hours we spent in the woods looking for a specific type of plant, whether for eating or for medicine. He had me memorize them by heart, which took a couple of years because I got distracted halfway through.

The next day, we were off to school. I hung around the edge of the meadow after, contemplating whether I should jump the fence. My mother couldn't get a job, well, she didn't want to. She thought the whole District would shame her the moment she stepped out of our crumbling home. It made no sense to me; we had nothing to lose anymore.

Which is exactly why I went under the fence, retrieved the old, leather-bound daggers my father made from scraps and wood. It was pretty frail, but if you handle it carefully and throw it properly, it won't break—most of the time.

I didn't go beyond twenty yards that day; I didn't feel confident enough to go deeper, fearing I'd get lost in the forest. I took home a small rabbit that day, we hadn't had meat for months, so it honestly looked like a full course meal, like the one we were served in the tribute train.

My mother isn't the greatest cook, so she burnt a couple of bits, mainly the thighs. But it still filled us. The woods became my second home, escaping the sad atmosphere my mother gave off and the pressure the Peacekeepers would regularly make us feel.

The hunting started slow, but each time I went under, I went deeper. I stole eggs from nests, jumped from tree to tree and managed to shoot a squirrel or two down. I struggled with the fish; my father would always throw his dagger to the fish with little to no effort. Whenever I'd throw mine, it would miss. It took me a couple of times to figure out the water distorts my vision.

The plants were no effort; I knew which one to pick, which ones were poisonous. The signs of danger used to terrify me back to the fence until I gathered enough courage to climb the tall trees, then I stuck with it, not liking the feeling of being chased. The wild dogs would always leave me alone after a while.

On July 15th, I finally signed up for the tesserae, carrying the first batch of grains and oils in the same broken bucket I used to gather those dandelions. I patched it up with some scrap bark. On the 15th of every month, I would put my name once again. I still had to hunt; grains weren't enough. We still needed soap, milk, thread and many more things we used to have. I began to trade in the hob, learning how to hold my tongue in the process. My father used to trade there as well; he used to do all the talking while I watched, stayed silent.

And so I simply tossed the game I had to their tables. They caught on fairly quick; I'd only speak up when it came to bargaining or when I'd change what'd I'd buy. Or when I would insult wild dog soup. My father was a charismatic man, always able to persuade people to buy whatever. Not me, though, I was like a sore thumb. Painful, to talk to at least.

My mother wasn't very enthralled with the fact that I had been hunting, too much like my father, she said. That's when we argued, "Don't be stupid like your father!" she shouted. I remember my face contorting to anger, how my fists clenched as she continued to scream.

I finally exploded, "Why don't you go out and get a job if you don't want me hunting, then? You'd rather we starve?!" I said, slamming the table. "I won't die, I won't end up like father! I won't be Capitol's pig, neither was he!"

"But if you do die?" She argued back, tears flowing down her cheeks as she gripped both my shoulders. "I'm only thinking of you, Y/n!"

I scoffed, glaring at her, "If you're thinking of us so much, then why aren't you helping us?! If I don't die being accused of rebellion, then I'll die because of those stupid games because of you!"

"Don't blame me for this! It was your father's fault for being brash—" She reasoned, but I cut her off by pushing her off me. I stared at her as if she grew three heads. "They asked you," I whispered, "All you did was nod, you could've lied."

Her green eyes shook at my words, "Lie to the Peacekeepers? The Capitol? And get us killed as well?! I only what your father wanted,"

"They didn't have anything on father! It was your voice that gave it away! It's your fault that he's dead, now we're over here starving because you can't get over yourself—"

Then there was a sting on my cheek. She had slapped me. My eyes landed on a crying Kunal; guilt surged through me, so I ran. I ran to the woods and slept on top of a tree, humming a soft tune to the mockingjays next to me. They listened and sung back. I fell asleep to their lullaby, surprisingly, not falling off.

I found my hand on the same cheek my mother slapped that day. I was going to die the same way I said, how ironic. I won't be able to apologize or tell my mother I loved her anymore. A sigh left my lips as I continued to stare out the window.

I clenched my fists, punching the wall as my breath hitched. I let out a groan, holding the stinging part of my hand. I glared at the wall, grumbling under my breath before I decided to fall asleep, not wanting to think of my regrets and what I could've done. As I closed my eyes, I only hoped my dreams would be pleasant.

"Up! Up! Up! It's a big big day!"

Effie Trinket's voice awoke me from my dreamless slumber. I groaned, muttering profanities as she left my compartment. I tried to imagine what it was like in that stupid wig--- well--- head of hers, it made my head hurt.

I had fallen asleep in the green shirt, causing it to become wrinkled, the. Not that I cared, there will be some stylist stripping me anyways. I shuddered at the thought of Capitol people touching me, what a nightmare. My eyes landed on the packet of cookies on my bedside table. I decided to grab it.

I entered the dining compartment, still half-lidded and yawning. Effie Trinket brushes me with a cup of black coffee. She was muttering obscenities, probably because of Haymitch. Peeta held a roll, looking somewhat embarrassed "Sit down! Sit down!" Haymitch said.

Peeta flashed me a smile, amused by how dishevelled I look. To be fair, I wasn't a morning person, I find waking up to be a tiring task. I rubbed my eyes, the packet of cookies still in my hands as I slid down the chair.

They served an enormous platter of food. I'd hate to admit it, but I was starving. So for the first time, I decided to stab it with the fork, not sure what to do with the cookies so I pocketed them. I figured I'd eat them much. . . much later.

I chewed slowly, glare on my face as my eyes struggled to remain open. I didn't even notice the orange juice next to me because of it. Peeta nudged me, handing me a cup of brown, rich liquid. It was quite warm. "They call it hot chocolate," he said. "It's quite good,"

My green eyes moved from him to the cup, then back to him. As if asking for permission. I sniffed, muttering a "thank you," before I took the cup from him. The moment the hot chocolate touched my lips I felt awake.

Not only was it hot, but it was also amazing. I've never tasted anything like this before. Coffee was a luxury, this I cannot even fathom. After I've drained my cup, I put it down and muster a sheepish smile. "Is there more?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

Effie seemed to be excited by my sudden interest. "Glad you're finally appreciating the finer things," she quipped as another cup was passed to me. "Right," I responded, gripping the cup tightly.

I stopped eating when I felt somewhat full, only asking for more hot chocolate. Peeta is still eating, breaking off bits of roll and dipping them in his hot chocolate.

Haymitch hasn’t paid much attention to his platter, but he’s knocking back a glass of red juice that he keeps thinning with a clear liquid from a bottle. Judging by the fumes, it’s some kind of spirit. I don’t know Haymitch, but I’ve seen him often enough in the Hob, tossing handfuls of money on the counter of the woman who sells white liquor. He’ll be a mess again by the time we reach the Capitol.

"So, you're supposed to give us advice," I said, taking a sip of the hot liquid. He grinned, "Here's some advice, stay alive," then he burst out laughing.

My brows furrowed, "Ha. Ha." I let out, unamused. I glanced to Peeta, surprised to see Hardness in his eyes. Usually, he looked mild. "That's very funny," he said as if adding to my remark. He suddenly lashed out at the glass in Haymitch's hands. It shattered, spilling the blood-red liquid on the floor. "Only not to us,"

Haymitch took this opportunity to punch Peeta straight in the jaw, knocking the boy out of his chair before turning around to reach for more spirits. I stopped him, driving a knife into the table, between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers.

I expected some sort of retaliation, but that didn't come. "Oh, well what is this?" he said. "Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"

Peeta rose from the floor and scoops up a handful of ice from under the fruit tureen. He started to raise it to the red mark on his jaw.

"No," Haymitch stopped him. "Let the bruise show. The audience will think you’ve mixed it up with another tribute before you’ve even made it to the arena."

"That’s against the rules," said Peeta. "Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, you weren’t caught, even better," said Haymitch. He turns to me. “Can you hit anything other than the table?"

I shrugged, pulling the knife off the table. "Your head or. . ." I said, before tossing the knife in between the seams of two panels. If I was confident at one thing, it's my aim. But not so much with a bow.

"Stand over here. Both of you," ordered Haymitch, nodding to the middle of the room. We obey and he circles us, prodding us like animals at times, checking our muscles, examining our faces. “Well, you’re not entirely hopeless. Seem fit. And once the stylists get hold of you, you’ll be attractive enough.”

Peeta and I don’t question this. The Hunger Games aren’t a beauty contest, but the best-looking tributes always seem to pull more sponsors. Though I do enjoy the fact that the stylists are likely going to have a hard time styling me.

"All right, I’ll make a deal with you. You don’t interfere with my drinking, and I’ll stay sober enough to help you," said Haymitch. "But you have to do everything I say,"

Of course, there's a catch. "Fine," Peeta said while I shrugged carelessly, sipping on my hot chocolate. "In a few minutes, we’ll be pulling into the station. You’ll be put in the hands of your stylists. You’re not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don’t resist," Instructed Haymitch

Oh, well there goes my plan on being a general nuisance. Damn you, Haymitch.

He takes the bottle of spirits from the table and leaves the car. As the door swings shut behind him, the car goes dark. There are still a few lights inside, but outside it’s as if night has fallen again. I realize we must be in the tunnel that runs up through the mountains into the Capitol. The mountains form a natural barrier between the Capitol and the eastern districts. It is almost impossible to enter from the east except through the tunnels. This geographical advantage was a major factor in the districts losing the war that led to my being a tribute today. Since the rebels had to scale the mountains made them easy targets for the Capitol's air forces.

Peeta and I stood in silence. My finger raised, mouth opening but I decided it wasn't worth it and awkwardly shuffled to one of the windows. He seemed to have caught on, however. "Nice view, isn't it?" he joked.

"I guess if you're blind," I answered dryly, raising the warm cup to my lips. "Sophisticated darkness, my favourite type," I finished.

He chuckled, walking next to me, the train slowing on cue. My muscles tensed as the sunlight entered the compartment. It was blinding. After my eyes adjusted I finally saw the Capitol.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't beautiful. Rainbow hued buildings that tower to the sky, possibly beyond. Shiny cars rolling on the fancy, clean pavement streets. The cameras failed to capture its beauty. It would've been perfect if not for the fact that the oddly dressed colours, wearing blizzard wigs and painted faces exist.

They looked painfully artificial. I much prefer the natural tones of district 12. "Eugh, how do they look at themselves?" I muttered, catching the attention of Peeta, who chuckled at my comment.

Huh, I forgot that he was there.

The same disgusting people began to point at us, enthralled. I was sickened, they couldn't wait to watch us kill each other like wild wolves. I suppose that's better than ending up at soup.

I stepped back, a scowl on my face. No longer able to stand the obnoxious attires and the mocking smiles of scums. Peeta held his ground, smiling and waving at them.

He only stopped when the train stopped at the station, blocking up from their view. "Who knows?" he said. "Some of them may be rich."

My body seemed to freeze as I took one last sip of the now-luke warm hot chocolate. That's when I realized, I had misjudged him. Not that I can read people well.

Which made sense, if I could I would've known that his father visiting me, offering to help Haymitch only to challenge him and now, waving and smiling at those slugs. He had a plan in mind.

He hasn't accepted his death yet. Peeta Mellark, the boy who gave me bread was fighting hard.

And that terrified me.

word count: 2.8k

Hey guys! sorry for the long wait! Had to take a break!

tags;

@nin3s

#hunger games x reader #hunger games #hunger games x male reader #male reader insert #male reader #peeta mellark x male reader #peeta mellark x reader #x male reader #peetamellark #gale #male x male reader #male reader series #gay #mlm #mlm fanfic

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imasimpforstevengrant · 5 years

Text

I feel you

Author's note:

@raven-romanoff

@maristela1968

For you again, lovelies!

This is the first smut I write after almost two years. I hope you like it!

As always, sorry for any typos. English is not my first language.

____________________________________

Summary: Follow up to "I understand you".

As his strange relationship with Harleen oscillates between friendship and desire, Arthur takes the things to another level.

Warnings: angst, self hatred, mentions of masturbation, swearing, house breaking, strong sexual themes and smut.

Words: 6.258

Part 1:

Part 2:

____________________________________

Arthur couldn't sleep that night. His mind, overtaken by a growing confidence, tormented with new feelings for her created a dark, devilish smile in his face. He closed the door carefully, taking off his hoodie, shirt and shoes, wearing only sweatpants around the house, smoking a cigarette. He sat on the couch, knees bouncing. Something in his chest burns. That night Arthur felt different. He felt sure of his actions, instead of the usual anxiety and fear. Replaying the wonderful moment which he was the protagonist of, savoring every detail, while directing to the table. Her voice echoed through his head, her smile painting across his memory, the way she looked at him. His feet weren't able to keep still and Arthur knew this hyperventilation was caused by the shock of his first intimate contact with a woman. He already planned what he would do once they'd meet again. Probably to take her to dinner or simply going to the playground with a coffee and cigarettes to spend the night talking.

Handing himself his treasured journal, Arthur searched for the section dedicated to her. Grabbing a pen, he wrote her name. Misspelled, but affectionately.

Harlen Quenzel.

He tried in vain to write anything else, because his mind clouded basking in a bliss he had never felt before.

The blinding white light coming from above the kitchen hindered the happy replay of the image of Harleen coming closer to him to kiss his lips. But he simply turned it off. The tips of his fingers touched the dry flesh blessed by her mouth. Lighting a cigarette he fantasizes now. Taking her in the floor, in the bedroom or in the couch... She would love it. Arthur guaranteed himself that. The proof was clear: she had enjoyed his sudden and explosive display of passion. He suppressed a chuckle, afraid of another fit of laughter. But it did not go further. He stood in the dark for a while, before going to the couch to try to get some sleep. His mind was way too excited to even hold his legs still. The lucky loner grabbed the pack of cigarettes, smoking another one immediately after finishing the other one. Thing was, he couldn't consummate his passion in this moment... But he certainly could let his mind fly by thinking about Harleen and her virtues for now. Arthur headed to the bathroom.

A little joy given by himself wouldn't be so bad. ________________________________________

Over the next two months, the strange relationship between Arthur and Harleen grew from a friendship that had frequent outbursts of passion to long hours of talking about anything, from work to jokes.

As much as Arthur felt a silently uncontrollable lust for Harleen, he truly felt affection and caring for her. This was shown in small gestures like inviting her to dinner or waiting up late when her shift was over whenever neither of them would spend the entire night sleeping. They had each other and it was okay with that. In was in these situations where their bond grew. It was so ironic that the one thing that prevented an actual rest to his tormented mind also allowed to have the closest and most meaningful relationship he ever had in his life.

Arthur became more introverted than he already was. He didn't talk too much at work and had the growing tendency to isolate from others. To his co-workers this was probably another demonstration of his deteriorated mental state but Arthur was too busy trying to cope with these new feelings. He was asked more than once about this but he avoided to answer, limiting to reply he was okay. At the end of the day, the party clown left with a anxious pace. His co-workers were sure Arthur had finally lost his mind. And in some way, he did. Why was he in a rush? They would never know.

It was saturday when things changed. Arthur came back from a gig to Haha's with his clown make up on. Once in, he cleaned it from his face to leave without saying anything afterwards, too withdrawn into his daydreaming. He set a foot into the bus, as always, facing the window. The lights of daylight disappeared into the darkness or the night, rain pouring out. Arthur shielded from the cold sinking into his partly tattered hoodie. By this hour, Harleen should have been in her workplace. He just hoped no one would harm her at the time of her return. Arthur thought he could wait for her at the building's entrance, making sure she was safe. Harleen would like it.

He thought this weekend would be different. And Arthur had a very good reason why.

_________________________________________

It was Sunday when Arthur got up early to clean the house and to prepare breakfast for Penny to feed during the first lights of day.

It was in this way he could focus completely on his upcoming date at night. As the day vanished for nighttime to arrive, he put a cheap cologne on, his pants perfectly ironed. Same with the shirt and red vest. And the usual yellow hoodie Harleen learned to love so much. His excitement reflected in his voice as he waved goodbye to his always distracted mother, who simply waved back, not interested on how much brighter Arthur's eyes were in that moment. Heading to the door, he heard a frustrating ask:

"Happy, can you put this letter in the box?"

His shoulders lose strength. Arthur tried his best to hide his annoyance.

"It's for Thomas Wayne".

"I know, mom", the whisper was almost inaudible. Returning to the living room, he took the letter gently just to jump back to the door to free himself, "I'll be back at night".

She just nodded. And he finally breathed his freedom, feeling more confident than ever. But his sense of victory over the world vanished as he realized he still had that fucking letter in hand. A tired sigh leaves his lips. But he ran as fast as possible to reach the first floor to get rid of the piece of useless attempt to get attention from a man who maybe didn't remember her. The rusty locker received it and Arthur at last could set a foot outside the building, crossing his arms.

Harleen arrived a few seconds later. Arthur smiled, coming closer to her. Her outfit was unpretentious but neat: black pants and sneakers, a red wool sweater. Her hair was done into two colourful buns and a few strands which fell into her face. But the thing he liked the most was that blood red lipstick... And her grin made it better.

"Hello, clown man", Harleen nuzzled his nose tenderly. It was an habit he loved from her, as any other touch. He chuckled, greeting her back. Then both got out of the building, leading to the donut shop so they could have coffee and toast.

"So, how was your week?", Harleen asked as Arthur held his cup, drinking the steamy hot liquid.

"It was fine. I had a gig in a children's hospital. It turned out great because it was a charity event".

"Really?"

"Yeah. They were... Getting money for families that cannot afford to pay treatments".

Harleen nodded, warming her hands with the mug. Arthur then returned the question. Harleen told him the bar had more regulars than usual. This caught her eye, and paid very much attention to it during the weekly shift.

"What is it?".

"People are drinking their souls out" she replied, after eating her toast, "and that's not all. There was a recently fired guy that feared if Wayne is elected mayor, unemployment and riots will get worse."

Arthur lowered his head. He ate the toast to state:

"Why do so many people believe in that man, anyway?"

"He's rich, successful and an entrepreneur. Men like him have no idea how to run a city for the simple fact that entrepreneurs like him see people as numbers, not as complex sentient beings."

"How come?", Arthur fixed his collar.

"They only care for economy, Arthur. They disregard the fact that not everyone has the same chances for success they had and therefore any help for impoverished people is nothing but a "waste of money". Wayne is convinced that everyone who receives any kind of welfare doesn't want to work." Arthur remained silent for a while, processing what she just said.

"Men like him will never know what is like to be someone like you or me", Harleen concluded, finishing her coffee.

"But at least we have our jobs" Arthur commented comically.

"Yeah, as long as we get paid" and both laughed.

The shop was almost empty, which made easier to listen to the radio while talking. This gave them more topics to talk about. But then a song came out. Arthur knew it, he closed his eyes, engulfing himself in the gloomy tune of the song:

"King of all

Hear me call

Hear my name

Carnival"

Harleen did not interrupt. She understood that Arthur, as an extremely introverted person, couldn't be interrupted when exploring, talking or listening. It was pleasant to see him glad or enjoying things for once. She smiled as he mouthed the lyrics, which he knew perfectly. As the song came to an end, Harleen extended her hand, eyeing Arthur to look for his approval. As much as he enjoyed the sudden outbursts of affection, Arthur still wasn't used to publicly show it. Harleen comprehended as well and wouldn't force him to do it. She discovered it when going back from a previous date when she just held his hand. He became a blushing mess but it didn't go further, thank goodness.

Arthur noted the hand whose black and red nail polish established a hurtful contrast in comparison to her light skin. He then looked at her. He slid his own towards Harleen's. Their hands intertwined. Another little touch and he was already yearning for her. Arthur wanted to love her without words, without distance between them. Just the two of them. He wanted so much to tell her, but didn't dare to. Despite the fact he adored her, there was something he could never tell her... Yet.

There was something Arthur loathed about himself but he did his best to not to give it too much importance, choosing to focus on other things, instead. Arthur Fleck was a man and as such, he had needs. But the need wasn't the problem. Satisfying it was. He was comprehensive enough to understand that motherly affection was the closest thing he ever had to love. Devoid of any bond with anyone else, he frequently masturbated to soothe the sexual need. Usually to porn magazines whose pages he tore up to stick them in his journal. A fulfilling sexual life was a dream, far away from his reach. He could only see it but never take part in it, as it was with everything in his life. An eternal spectator, never a protagonist. Thinking of her, lusting after her... And he wasn't able to even mutter a fucking word. He cursed the emptiness roaming during all his life. Because he had nothing to offer her except desire. His inexperience was never a problem, given his surrender to embrace a life of solitude. Until now. Her arrival to his life made him remember how much of a man he was. And her kindness just fanned the fire within him.

Harleen squeezed his hand a little more, noting his unsettled nerve. Arthur sighed, out of the gloomy, bleak storm that creeped out as a dark mist in his mind. But her face shines as a small light of hope. Her eyes promised so many good things that he couldn't bring himself to believe.

"What's troubling you, Mr. Fleck?" her smile was accomplice, as if she knew what was lurking into the labyrinth of his mind, but wanting to hear it from his mouth.

"I just... I was thinking about...", Harleen encouraged him to tell her. He inhaled deeply, lighting a cigarette to cope with the newfound stress. Once again, his everlasting negative thoughts clouded the moment. The vocal cords were unresponsive. His hand broke contact with hers to hold his forehead, looking for the right words to speak. His knees bounced. Harleen leaned in, waiting.

"Artie?"

The tender pronunciation of the diminutive form of his name turned his gaze to her.

"I think I prefer to tell you... In private".

Harleen nodded. The response sounded too dark. And she knew that if Arthur talked like that, it was something serious. They left the donut shop, walking towards the subway. It was almost empty and dark. Just a few people were on it. The couple sit down, with Harleen tangling the arm around his to tilt her head on his shoulder. Arthur kept his eyes on the window, trying to figure out how the fuck he'd tell her about it.

As they reached the last stop, they left the subway station to step up the stairs and then Arthur reached a dirty, dark public restroom surrounded on the outside of a fence. Both stopped for a moment before the gnawed door. Harleen looked up to the party clown's dark features. He pronounced no words.

"Arthur?"

"There's something I need to tell you", his murmur comes shy, cast down.

"What is it?"

He stepped away from her. His hands clasp his mouth, disapproving his thoughts. He shook his head, eyes shut. Circling his own personal space, lightheaded. Harleen came closer to him.

"Is it bad?"

Arthur glared at her, guilty.

"I mean... I don't know how to tell you. I just hope you don't laugh at me".

"Why would I do that?".

Arthur half opened his eyes.

"I want...", It took a long, deep inhalation to pronounce the first part. He coughed, to clear his throat seconds later, "I need to tell you... That I really like you... And--", he silenced his words, trying to put them correctly in his mind.

"And?"

"See" he sighed, "I've..."

Harleen widened her eyes in anticipation.

"I've been thinking about you a lot... and I would be lying if I tell you I don't want something else".

"What is 'something else'?" Harleen whispered.

Arthur processed the question. And then answered:

"It's just..." He brushed the small beads of sweat on his forehead with the palm of his hand, "I love the way you touch me, Harleen" Arthur continued, "and I simply can't get enough of it".

"Because we both need it, Arthur. I love just as much as you do. That makes it so satisfying", he chuckled, humbled. Harleen expected more of him.

"That's not all", he gazed not to her. This was the one moment that could end it all or strengthen this precious bond of theirs.

"Arthur" she called him, "don't be afraid. Please tell me".

"I want to sleep with you", Arthur finally confessed, gazing at her. His eyes confirmed the statement. He blinked slowly, wanting her to see the animalistic yearn on them.

Harleen stared at him, shocked of how much he trusted her to confess something so intimate. His breathe had shortened. His green eyes glowed like emeralds, embellished even more with his pupils dilated. The blonde invited him inside the bathroom so they could keep baring their souls. Arthur inspected the place to make sure it was completely safe to stay there. Harleen locked the door once they knew it was unoccupied.

"I don't want to beg for love" Arthur said, his voice raspy, "but I don't want to lie to you. I want to know if you feel the same" Arthur spoke in a very low voice. Harleen looked at him, infatuated before this new dark vibe from him. He looked like a totally different person. Her fingers slid into his curls.

"I knew it already, Arthur."

"And why doesn't it bother you?"

"Because I can understand why you want it".

Arthur turned to her. Never in his life he felt more expecting. Harleen explained, in very simple terms, that she found his attachment understandable: Arthur had been deprived of love during all his life and this new bond made him feel important. From becoming visible and cared for to reaffirm his manhood through sexual desire. Arthur heard every word carefully, and it made sense. Everything made fucking sense. It was through sexual intercourse that men felt loved.

Love.

It was always about love, at the end of all.

Harleen returned the cigarette to him.

"Don't blame yourself. You're a human, after all. Sex is the most pleasant of human activities, so don't feel bad for enjoying it".

"It's not that I don't enjoy it. I don't feel ready to do it, despite of how much I want it".

Harleen frowned, and her silence just made Arthur confess one of his most (if not the most) shameful secrets. Only now she knew the extent of her impact in his life. She knew a lot about him, including the seven medications he was in, but this? She had been aware of the way he looked at her, but hearing him actually admitting it out loud made her shudder. Her arms locked around his shoulders to pull Arthur to a kiss in the cheek.

"It's not a race or a competition. You just feel and act according to your instincts. Also, I'd be lying too if I said I don't want anything else" Arthur sank his eyes into Harleen's, "quite frankly, we were close to have sex the night we first talked if it wasn't because I was too tired to do so, but now, if you don't feel ready to do it, I won't pressure you to do anything".

"Starting a friendship in that way? I like it" he hummed, mischievous.

"We are not friends... Because... Friends are not supposed to touch each other. That's what lovers do. But... We aren't lovers, yet" Harleen whispered.

"Then what are we?" Arthur asked.

"We are, Arthur. We simply are" this time her kiss directed to his mouth. _________________________________________

Arthur changed his damp clothes to avoid the cold. The bedroom TV was turned on as well as the hall lights. The usual. He prepared the dinner for his mother, bathing her and making sure she'd go to bed. The conversation was the same. Thomas fucking Wayne and the fucking letters. Arthur had no interest on losing energy on nonsense, so he only nodded. He took a shower and shaved the growing beard and wore his grey sweatpants. A few observations written in the pages of the journal about his day at Haha's and Arthur felt his routine was finished, therefore he could count down to the moment when Harleen was back at home from work. His eyes darted at the clock. 1:14 am. Less than two hours for her return. He felt confident enough to go to her apartment and stay all night with her. He smoke five cigarettes in the meantime, walking over the house. Turning the TV on so time wouldn't pass so long. He sat at the couch, waiting for an old rerun of Murray Franklin's Show. An actor was to be interviewed but he couldn't focus entirely on it. He laid down. His mind pictured her beside him. However, as much as he cherished all the physical and emotional affection from her, it wasn't enough anymore. It was hard to accept it but that's just the way it was. As the show ended, an old movie ran. Arthur turned the device off. The clock sets the time: 2:24 am. Less than hour. He got up, turning the lights off, hoodie in hand and determination in his mind. Locking the door, Arthur left. He walked across the halls, stepping down to the destination: 7H. The door was unlocked, much to his surprise. The loner felt truly in home. If only she was in there for him to shower her in his affection. But he then realized the neon lights were on. His heart skipped a beat. The air seemed... Different. He stood as quiet as possible to see what was going on. The rain slightly broke the total silence that ruled the place. Arthur reached the living and then, only then, he saw her.

Harleen was placidly sleeping on the couch, wearing a two part, peach coloured pajamas. Her mane was a mess of white, blue and pink strands that fell over her face. Her head rested on a pillow and her pose revealed how comfy her sleep was. Kneeling beside the couch, Arthur leaned over her face, his fingers set aside the colourful mane to obtain the beautiful vision of her peaceful facial expression. His thumb glided over her lips, which he soon joined with his. It was slow, intimate kiss, full of subtle hunger.

Seconds later, her hands cupped his face to make the caress steadier, humming playfully. Arthur broke the kiss to eye her. Half sleep, Harleen smiled at him.

"Hey" he called, secretive.

"Good night, Mr. Fleck", she muttered, voice pasty, "another insomnia night?" but he shook the head.

"I thought you weren't here. I couldn't help it", he muttered.

“Never said I mind. Bar closed earlier and here I am”.

“Really? Why?”

“The riots, Arthur. Boss preferred to send us home before any damage could be done by the protesters”.

Arthur made room for himself in the cozy, fluffy long couch. Asking if she was okay, Harleen just replied she took a taxi to make home safely. Arthur sighed, relieved. The blonde smiled at him but didn’t move any further. He noticed that, blaming for being so inconsiderate. Getting into her apartment and disturbing her rest like that? What a awful friend (lover) he was! Recoiling with guilt and diving again in the brooding mood so typical on him, he distanced from his love. She fell asleep once more. Arthur kept his gaze on her, tracing invisible touches in her curves. She was so close yet so far. He wanted to be a part of her, to be with her.

Inside of her.

The calloused fingers held his face to wash away the shame. The nerves were too much to take. The laugh gestated in a noise initially deaf to hear from afar to a thunderous fit. Harleen jolted at the sudden outburst. Arthur couldn’t feel worse. The expression on his face was so desperate for silence that the blonde immediately went after him when he shrugged, attempting in vain to drown the horrible noise that made his vocal cords bleed. Harleen dissuaded Arthur of any idea of escape just to hold him. The mentally ill loner sank his face into her neck. The embrace didn’t stop the scandalous explosion to keep shattering the quietness of the place, sensing Harleen squeezed his faint figure, seemingly trying to put every piece of his broken yet beautiful soul to help to soothe the pain.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—“

Her voice hushed his apologize. As the din disappeared into nothingness, both returned to the living room on the couch but Arthur took a step back from her.

“Why?”

Puzzled, Harleen frowns. She gave him space to recover.

“Why what?”

“Why me?”, Arthur regained strength to ask her, staring at her for a long period of time, “of all men you can have, why me?”

For the first time, Harleen seemed upset.

“If you think I do this out of pity, you are very, very wrong” the fire in her eyes was fascinating.

“Then why?”

Harleen processed the question while Arthur desperately awaited the reason to be verbalised.

“Please”.

She gulped.

“Because you’re a good man, Arthur”.

The response was too simple to be believable, though it was grateful to hear a compliment from her. Desiring more, his stare pierced her soul, to let her take the hint. Imprisoned under the green spell of his, Harleen proceeded to continue:

“I mean- you are always trying to make people laugh, yet people don’t see you and you still continue. You love what you do, you have been kind to me, you care about your mother putting your well-being aside. Don’t you think that is worth enough?”

Arthur shut his eyes, his head to the left, lighting a cigarette while the bouncing knee betrayed his feeling of unsettlement. Harleen noticed it. Wind took words away. Actions prevailed in time.

Time! That’s precisely what he needed. Both battled uneasiness in their own, unique way. While Harleen on her own end of the couch thought on a way to help him, Arthur tried to give order to his convulsed mind. He constantly touched his forehead and chest but never dared to eye her, terrified that she would vanish. The damn cigarette placed again on his lips. The muteness grew so uncomfortable the loner returned to glare at the blonde. She slowly approached to him, searching in his face his approval to get closer. Afraid to disturb his personal space in the same way someone would be cautious when getting closer to a wild animal. Arthur gasped, his blood boiling in what seemed the exact moment that would define his life. Harleen crawled to him, reaching his shoulders to concrete her goal: sit in the space between his legs.

If Arthur believed that just a hug put him on fire, this new contact aroused him to the point of insanity. The blonde crowned the physical bond placing her head in the crook of his neck. The temptation to take her and possess her now was insufferable but he found the will to not give in into the impulsive reaction. How? He’d never know. His heart rate was so violent, so overwhelming that the threat of a heart attack was becoming more real. Harleen placed her hand on his chest, like caressing his damaged heart like a mother would do with an scared child. His lungs finally caught a calmer rhythm as minutes went by. Arthur craved new touches, new discoveries, yet he wanted to remain like this forever. He savoured the closeness of their bodies… but it wasn’t enough. Harleen surely knew it by the moment Arthur stopped smoking.

And whenever Arthur Fleck stopped smoking, it meant something serious got his attention.

As the last fire on the cigarette died on the ashtray, Arthur turned his focus completely on her. He’d return her the favour, since she invaded his personal space so shamelessly. Harleen distanced a bit from him to allow the hoodie to come off. She approved the sight with a wide smirk: despite what people could say about his figure, Arthur was not as thin as his outfit revealed. His bare upper body had a plenty of muscle in the biceps. She traced a finger across the aforementioned part to touch his jawline now, going down his neck and collarbone. Next, a nuzzle against his face to continue the intimate bond, brushing her lips with his, without kissing him. However there was no further reaction from him except for a serene look on his face at the caresses. As the touch came to an end, she kissed his mouth repeatedly, her lips curved into a smile. The gesture motivated his instinct to get the better of him. He rose his dark, thick eyebrow to let her know how much of an accomplice he turned out to be, like a warning of what he had planned for her.

It was almost a ritual. Whenever a situation turned out to be too unfamiliar or too good, his hands would act as the link to confirm his psyche wasn't playing tricks with him. But this wasn't only a situation. This was a person who unchained a situation. And how he thanked every second of it. It seemed a spark of happiness enlightened his life, for once. Probably because even fate believed that no human being should be so miserable. He needed a constant reaction from her to keep convincing himself this wasn’t a dream. To increase the enjoyment of his hands touching her, Arthur executed a move directed to her chest, gliding his hands over her breasts, covered by the thin fabric of the sleeveless shirt. Harleen gasped, eyeing the curious hands as they roamed upon that delicate part of her. Arthur was fascinated, as his grin evidently brought out.

Since he had understanding about sex, Arthur craved a woman’s touch. It began as wet dreams, continuing with the subsequent discover of porn, a source he always went to in order to provide himself a little satisfaction. He remembered the particularly unhappy time of highschool, where bullying and harsh looks were a routine. The laughing fits during class, boys from all ages mocking at him during recess. But lunchtime was the worst part. If he wasn’t beaten up, his food paid the price. Starving and tired, Arthur was relieved in part by dropping school. He wouldn’t have to deal with the brutality of his classmates anymore. Girls usually avoided him, scared by his weak appearance. He never asked a girl for a date, afraid to be taken as a pervert. He just repressed any sexual need, feeling like a depraved creep for being curious about female body.

The mental drift continued for a couple of minutes when he noticed that Harleen wasn’t too quiet now, her shortened breath revealing an intense joy at his touch. As it happened always in a moment of adrenaline, through his arms an herculean strength ran so intensely that made her sit on his lap with no problem. The most exciting part of this new bold position was that he could face his lover, aiming his interest to her neck, covering it with slow, paused kisses. Harleen supports on his shoulders, delighted at his intimate exploration. Her shortened breath became a heavy panting while the latter morphed into a loud moan. Arthur immediately looked up to the blonde, her mane tickling his face. Did he caused such wonderful reaction? Him? Arthur Fleck, the perpetual loser, the unfunny clown, the embodiment of what a man should never be?

Suddenly, the grip loosened. Arthur felt he couldn’t concentrate anymore on Harleen in the same way. A sensation similar to fainting snatched away the energy on his arms. A surge of boiling blood flowed down his groin.

Arthur knew what this meant and her thighs straddling his hips, exactly where his searing intimacy reacted to such delectable recreation.

This encouraged him to let his wildest side come out. The pale hands lifted the shirt to the level of her neck, obtaining her bare chest to devour while getting into the inner part of the shirt, leaving the barrier between skin and fabric behind his back. Harleen reared up before the fulminant demonstration of lust, screaming while clawing at his shoulders. She felt his mouth, eager and famished, assiduously paying dedication to her soft sinuosities. The position enabled her to coddle him as well.

Because he fucking deserved it.

Her fingers stirred the dark curls under the cloth, begging for more. When Arthur felt the arousal was too much to keep building it up to simple caresses, he threw the shirt aside to obtain her upper nude body to admire. His eyes widened as the glimpse was even more beautiful in reality than in his fantasies. He hummed, approving the sight, too anxious to take her and yet so insecure if she’d be satisfied.

The blonde tugged into his belt, making clear her desire to pursue a deeper insight of their relationship. Her body performed a subtle movement to make him lay down on his back. As Arthur got rid of his clothes, so she did. Once she reached her own full nudity, he covered his mouth, amazed. Forget the models in his journal. Harleen had no comparison. And she probably knew it.

“Do you like what you see, mister Fleck?” she purred, seductive. He panted, regaining the oxygen to answer.

“Yes” was all he answered. Arthur could hardly speak at this point. His eyes said everything, anyway. The tease was a gift before the beloved blonde climbed atop him. Arthur helped her, grabbing her by the hips he longed so much to trace his fingers on.

Harleen leaned over his face to grant it a last kiss, enjoying this final step preceding to the loss of individuality.

She seemed so unreal, even when her full weight upon him proved wrong. And he knew exactly what to do to prove his psyche otherwise.

The last trace of doubt disappeared completely as his own sex found itself inside of her at last. The insertion was very slow, no rushes, so both lovers could memorize every sensation. The pressure around his hardened length turned out to be a pleasure beyond the thinkable, causing a shuddering, fastened breath to crumple his lungs. He arched his back, a loud, pleasurable moan escaping his mouth. As he got used to the warm welcome she gave him, his hands held her hips to proceed. Harleen lolled her head back, moaning softly, rejoicing at his presence inside of her delicate womanhood. Stillness held their bodies together as they enjoyed the sensation brought by the union.

Arthur recovered from the initial shock before the long desired loss of his hated celibacy started to take place. Harleen, naked much to the delight of his eyes, had her white, porcelain skin beautifully shaded by the pink and blue dim neon lights. Arthur smirked at her, admiring her body with his hands, not to convince himself that he was not hallucinating but to make sure to tell her how much he had desired to do this.

Just then Harleen did her magic.

“Let me show you that you’re not invisible”.

The rhythm worked in a slow pace. The blonde’s masterful moves made him moan and groan loudly as she straddled his hips. Everything he imagined with her appalled in comparison to this. Harleen, so provocative and prodigious, was so delicate in this erotic surrender. Like almost floating in the air. Arthur wondered how much it could take until reaching the peak of the carnal pleasure. But the obnoxious thud that beat his brain even in this moment found itself defeated by this lovely and pleasurable novelty, eventually. Watching Harleen on top of him was an irresistible landscape and Arthur couldn’t be more grateful for it even if he tried.

And her moans didn’t help either. Harleen was too lost in the moment to even talk to him, restricting her vocal expressions of pleasure just to plead for more.

Arthur plunged in this novelty to feel like a man for the first time in his life. He chuckled, joyful. His concentration centered exclusively on her. Harleen was a living mess of ecstasy, away from reality. He couldn’t love her more, specially when she called his name. The grip on her hips became tighter, as the warm space that surrounded his arousal narrowed. Her moans arose to louder screams. Now that was something he wanted to hear, sliding his fingers up to her waist to her chest.

The sense of control began to disappear eventually.

The instigation inspired a new move from Arthur, who got up to enclose her waist to absorb her essence. Fastening the moves, the blonde threw her arms to his neck, increasing the union as much as they were able. Their screams echoed through the apartment, announcing the proximity of the climax.

The final frenzy took ahold of the lovers. It hit Harleen first, as the convulsion whipped her insides, her figure trembling.

Arthur was convinced his soul was living his body at the time of his climax. While Harleen allowed him to flood her with his seed, he held her hips to keep inside her the longest time possible. The passionate, fulfilling embrace that served as the conclusion to the act recomposed their sense of reality. Once the physical bond was broken, the lovers laid back in the couch. Arthur still had a hard time recovering from his first sexual experience. His lungs finally eased down as Harleen reassuringly talked to him. Arthur opened his eyes, to smile to her.

“That…” he stuttered, breathless, “that… was… fucking sensational”.

Harleen supported her head in her hand.

“Couldn’t agree more”.

Arthur smiled and didn’t resist the temptation to sink into her arms, awaiting for sleep to come. He gave himself in completely, handing his vulnerability to her. Harleen sighed, palming his back. Arthur recoiled in pain and she didn’t hesitate to apologize.

“What’s this?” Harleen was going to get up to check him out but he prevented it, shaking his head. Apparently it didn’t have too much importance for him.

“I want this” his whisper sounded legitimately grateful. He took her hands to kiss them dearly, “I want this”.

She nodded and then changed her position so Arthur could place himself upon her. Her open arms received his fragile, starving shape to grant it comfort, like remind him of how much of a man he could be. The loner muttered something, but Harleen was already sleeping. Arthur didn’t move at all, silently enjoying her chest moving up and down. He planted a kiss above her right breast and closed his eyes.

The rain intensified. And Arthur fell asleep in a state of complete inner peace for the first time in his life as the pink lights dissipated into black as his eyes slowly closed.

It was the most beautiful darkness he’d ever been in.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

James & Ava

James: [let's say he puts up an insta of those bubs playing with those torts for her to see] Ava: 🥰 So happy they like 'em, I would've tried to get a real one but they were not fitting in the hand-luggage and apparently that's illegal 🤷 James: [ages later like] James: picking you up from A&E is one thing, a holding cell is quite another Ava: I understand, there's fast and then there's that Ava: thank GOD my Dad will front my bail 😏 James: & your brother's practically a lawyer so there's that Ava: If it weren't him I'd raise questions about having a 'basically' lawyer take my case but yeah Ava: do the torts have names yet? Ava: keep me posted tah James: they do James: Clover & Dandy Ava: 👏 Ava: very creative, very cute Ava: must take after you James: Matty's suggestions were all rejected for being too confusing, which in my opinion was slightly brutal of Jay, but I do also see her point Ava: 😂 Ava: They can have some confusing but adorable nicknames Ava: I couldn't say either my brother or sister's names for the longest time Ava: stuck being 'Uster and 'Ancy James: & yet if the roles were reversed they'd have had such an easy time James: yet more evidence you're a 😇 Ava: and very easy to spell when I got to School, thanks mum and dad Ava: you were alright, 'til it gets to your surname, bit unfair that James: I used to just do a J James: ironic now but I didn't like writing much when I was younger James: added the a & y later when everyone started calling me it Ava: It must've been something, to get to pass that on James: she did it without asking me James: but I know she could have fared a lot worse Ava: Oh, really Ava: I guess that's a thoughtful gesture on her part James: from an outsiders perspective, yes, but I understand why she actually did it Ava: Why? James: because she wanted me to step up & it was the most obvious way there is to say that she's mine & I had to Ava: Ah, that makes sense Ava: in that case, thoughtful as in well thought out but not beyond that Ava: she took your name from you that's James: I'm happy for Jay to have it now though, she'd hate a 'girly' name James: I would have had to find a nickname she could bear to be called in that instance Ava: Yes, at least she's the one who actually has the name, that's never gonna feel bad James: I don't remember where Matilda's came from, we were barely speaking then James: so that does feel worse Ava: at least there's an excellent book and character waiting James: very true James: & she had terrible parents Ava: You won't be getting a hat glued to your head any time soon James: today I won't, we've all learned so many 🐢 facts Ava: Go for esio trot first James: I will, I haven't read it before James: thank you, Ava Ava: You'll like it, and for Roald Dahl, it's pretty sweet Ava: no bad ideas before bed time, like James: does it have a happy ending? Ava: It does Ava: for humans and 🐢 alike James: I've missed you Ava: I've missed you Ava: Obviously couldn't commit the cliche of meeting me off the plane, but when can I see you? James: what are you doing tomorrow? Ava: Avoiding unpacking Ava: I think I've got a brunch date but beyond that, I'm free James: my dad is out of the office all day if you'd like to come & visit me Ava: I'd like that a lot Ava: I definitely will Ava: that'll be okay, right James: she's not going to also decide to visit me James: or talk to anyone that could see you doing so Ava: okay good Ava: Obviously you've thought it through but got a 😇 rep to protect James: I'll never be reckless when your halo is at stake, I assure you James: it's very important to me Ava: What about my 😈 Ava: You can do something about them too, yeah? James: absolutely James: those horns need to stay sharp, of course Ava: God you're hot James Ava: I've missed you so much you have no idea because I lack the words to explain it in any way that would convey just how hard it's been being so far away from you Ava: but I am very much ready to show you tomorrow Ava: and I'm not just talking about the holiday snaps that were not suitable for public display James: It's vital that the protagonist of my 1st novel is very multifaceted 😇 & 😈 which is why I wouldn't write it about just anyone James: I'll show you tomorrow, why it has to be you Ava: I'm so glad that it's me Ava: fuck James: I've lost hours thinking about the tan lines you potentially do or don't have, I'm very invested Ava: I have a strict no spoilers policy Ava: all will be revealed James: but I need to know Ava: 😏 Ava: It does seem cruel and unusual to make you wait when you've already been waiting so long Ava: too 😈 perhaps James: but sending gifts was very 😇 James: what decision are you going to make? Ava: It was just a little something Ava: if I had to get something every time I thought about you, we're talking grains of sand on the beach level Ava: I can't send you pictures, can I James: no, she has an app that restores any pictures I delete Ava: Hmm James: that said, you don't have any tattoos or anything clearly identifying Ava: that's true Ava: can she see the account of who's sent the pictures Ava: because it doesn't have to be me who sends them, or anyone else that actually exists to hunt down James: how many times are you going to go above & beyond to prove to me that you're too smart for King's? James: I believed you on the 1st tour Ava: I can be smart as long as we need to be smart Ava: and I had to make sure you wanted to talk to me after the 1st tour, of course James: I wanted to talk to you before the 1st tour, you know that Ava: I know Ava: Can I ask you something, if you promise to be honest James: yes Ava: Did you think badly of me for trying to pursue you when I knew you were married Ava: or what did you think of me, I guess James: I was too busy being glad that you wanted to James: but of course I wondered why James: I still wonder what it is that you could ever be interested in about me Ava: I can't profess to giving it particular or cohesive prior thought myself Ava: we both allowed some recklessness that day, clearly Ava: and I know you do, I'll write you a book one day Ava: but it'll take me a while to get down everything I find interesting and worthwhile about you James: I can wait Ava: Good Ava: One job at a time Ava: and this profile is looking pretty realistic and is as close to untraceable as is possible Ava: but I'm assuming she doesn't moonlight for MI5 James: do you? James: because you perhaps should Ava: 😏 Ava: Only to write my award-winning, world-changing exposé James: you're going to be a spectacular journalist Ava: Thank you 😊 Ava: I'll spare waxing lyrical about the vitality of a free press, don't think the readers will be about it when we could be talking more about my tan lines James: please do continue James: on whatever subject you feel the most passionate Ava: [a message request from this fake profile moment] James: [immediately accepts and immediately dies] James: oh Ava: you said passionate James: I did Ava: You're a subject I can get really worked up about, like James: I can see that James: & feel it Ava: Good Ava: Are you allowed to send photos to a fake girl or no? James: I don't care if the fake girl gets discovered James: she means nothing to me Ava: Poor fake girl Ava: still, can't be all bad James: it's not James: because now I can show you how much you mean James: [and does because FINALLY can send each other whatever they want] Ava: [what a glorious moment also over here like don't say ily don't say ily] Ava: OH James: Thrilled as I am to be behind a locked door, I'd be even gladder if you were here too Ava: yeah I Ava: feel that Ava: really feel it James: it's my turn to ask you a question James: do you want to hear the story of what would happen if we currently had all the time we could possibly want to really delve into 2 weeks of thoughts, dreams & wish fulfilment or do you want a narrative that's more realistically framed, so unfortunately there's not much opportunity for description or dialogue but instead every second is intensely action driven because we don't have a single one to waste? Ava: The latter Ava: I know the story, as the protagonist I've been living it with you Ava: Call mystery girl, she'll be as quiet as she can James: [does of course] Ava: Well James: I'm speechless James: but still here Ava: Please stay Ava: I hope you can stay James: I'll try Ava: Remember I told you this is different James: yes Ava: I really haven't felt like this before Ava: is what I'm saying Ava: I'm even more sure this is entirely new now James: understood James: I know you understand that it's the same for me Ava: I do James: Ava James: please stay too Ava: I will Ava: Literally nowhere else I'd rather be Ava: or no one else James: I'll try to understand that Ava: I'll try to make it clearer Ava: long as that may take Ava: not a quitter James: you've also never been unclear Ava: But you should know by now Ava: you know James: that's my error, not yours Ava: Shh James: I can't because Ava: Why? James: none of the blame for what I don't know rests on you Ava: but Ava: yeah, that's true Ava: but there's more ways I could show you Ava: tell you James: are there? Ava: yeah Ava: but you know Ava: scary James: that I do know for definite Ava: You don't think I'm 🙀 James: I think you're brave James: but you recognise when to be cautious Ava: I recognize it Ava: I rarely want to be cautious though James: we wouldn't have a story if you did Ava: 😏 okay Ava: I feel less bad James: don't feel bad at all James: please Ava: okay Ava: I'll try Ava: if you do James: you shake Frank's paw & I'll shake a 🐢's James: arm? whatever they have Ava: 🥰 you are so fucking cute Ava: and it's a deal James: [sends her a pic of him doing it because he can now #nerd] Ava: [send a video of Frank mugging her off like get away from me mother] James: 😂 Ava: I still agree to the terms and conditions Ava: he's just a diva and thinks I'm trying to give him an unwanted manipedi James: I can relate to the dread of an unwanted makeover James: tell him I apologise for laughing Ava: Dad duties? James: the reality of a very controlling wife Ava: 😑 Ava: Well we'll go shopping, one day James: only if Jay can come too, nobody hates having no influence over their own wardrobe more than she does Ava: Of course Ava: she's got to meet Frank James: she would love to, you honestly have no idea Ava: One day soon Ava: I can handle bumping into you at the park without being too 😍 James: I don't know whether to be happy or sad that you can apparently handle that Ava: I'm nothing if not over-ambitious Ava: and over-confident James: I like both of those things about you Ava: There's nothing I don't like about you James: I got it really wrong, you're not trying to age me, you're trying to kill me Ava: Never Ava: What would I do without you? James: you'd survive, as you're always saying Ava: 🥺 Ava: no James: it's okay, we don't have to find out James: I want you with me, not without me Ava: I need you James: Ava James: I haven't got in it me to walk away again, I mean it Ava: Then don't Ava: it isn't what I want Ava: but as well, I really don't think it's right, for you or for anyone, me included Ava: It wouldn't be easy, at all, but if I thought this was wrong, I wouldn't do it, I'd have to stop, somehow James: I know Ava: I'm not a bad person Ava: and neither are you James: you're a good person James: & being with you isn't what makes me a bad one Ava: You're a good one Ava: one of my favourites James: no, but you make me want to be better at being a person James: because you're one of my favourites too Ava: We're all just trying to get better at being people, yeah James: most of us Ava: The rest are gonna wake up and realize they wasted a lot of time pretending they had it all figured out, too late James: I'm so happy I met you Ava: That is definitely very mutual James: even if this all goes wrong again tomorrow or any time before how long we want it to last, I want you to know I won't be sorry about the start or the middle Ava: That means more than that phrase can convey James: & I want to emphasise I'm not only saying so because everything else in my life is going horribly James: if I was happy I'd want to share that with you too Ava: I love you James: Ava Ava: I couldn't not say it anymore, I'm sorry James: I don't want you to be sorry if you're not Ava: I'm not sorry that I mean it, or feel it Ava: but I am if I crossed a boundary James: you can say anything to me Ava: Well Ava: there it is James: what are we going to do about it? Ava: Up to you really Ava: we don't have to do anything Ava: do we? James: but that wouldn't be right James: things shouldn't go on as they are Ava: Sometimes they have to though Ava: anyway, does it even count as a declaration of love if I don't run to your house in the pouring rain in something made of white silk, like James: it counts that you're the 1st adult who has honestly said that to me Ava: Then I'll say it again Ava: I love you, James James: Then we need to find a way to be together properly Ava: Yeah? James: yes James: you can't be this important & the other most important person in my life not know that you exist James: or never have woken up next to me James: I still have no idea how beautiful you look when you're asleep Ava: We'll work it out Ava: be together properly James: I promise James: because I have no intention of breaking it Ava: I'm thinking maybe you want me dead too James: not even hypothetically James: I need you too much Ava: My legs feel like they ache from not being allowed to come run and find you right now James: I keep accidentally hurting you, don't I? James: Frank has no skills as a masseur I assume? James: IOU Ava: I'm holding you to that one like it's a bonafide promise too James: good James: because while I don't technically have any skills of my own, I'm confident you'll let me know if you like my attempts or not Ava: fake girl might be quiet as a mouse but that's not my style unless absolutely necessary James: that's why you're my favourite & she's my scapegoat Ava: 🥰😏 I can only be so sorry James: well, it's fine because apologies aren't what I wanna hear Ava: All I wanna hear is my alarm so it means I get to see you today James: almost looking forward to going to the office myself James: how unusual Ava: They're so welcome for the boost in morale, like James: if I could keep you on my desk all day, I would Ava: When the novel is ready and you're ready to be fired, then we can do that James: okay James: I'll pull a few more all-nighters James: see if I can't get these chapters finished Ava: I'll nap beside you Ava: at my most inspiring when I 😴 James: I find it hard to believe you'd be anything other than distracting Ava: Who, me? 😇 James: yes, you James: you're very beautiful, you know Ava: 😊 Ava: You're lovely James: it's true, you make me wish I knew how to paint Ava: You make me wish a lot of things, I get that James: tell me one day Ava: Every wish? James: yes Ava: Okay Ava: we can count how many have come true James: until they all have Ava: Happily ever after James: it would be over ambitious & over confident of me to suggest I'm capable of giving you anything close & I'm not anything close to being either Ava: You're just less talk, more make it happen Ava: you've shown that plenty already Ava: I believe in you, I always tell you James: I can always feel how sincere you're being when you do Ava: Good 'cos I don't lie Ava: even to be nice James: I like that about you most of all Ava: If I wasn't conceited before 😂 James: you weren't, it's fine Ava: Well Ava: 🤏 Ava: but it is fine Ava: not not fine enough to warrant stopping you complimenting me James: you couldn't stop me, darling Ava: is that so? James: of course James: even if you made me speechless again, compliments don't have to be spoken Ava: 🤤 Ava: can we put that to the test James: give me a minute James: [a dramatic pause that's longer than either of them would like] Ava: James? James: okay, test me Ava: How though? James: how do you think you can 😶? Ava: Oh, that's easy Ava: I just need the help of a friend James: it's easy to give you compliments Ava: I know, that's why I've gotta go hard over here Ava: bear with James: take all the time you need Ava: I won't need that long Ava: don't like wasting time with you ever James: are you saying you think you've already lost? Ava: Um, no Ava: I'm saying it won't be long until you can see the finished product and be 😶 Ava: how rude of you 😏 James: then it couldn't possibly be a waste of time Ava: [sends him a video on the fake profile] Ava: might wanna turn your sound way down James: well, now I want to turn it up Ava: do so at your own risk Ava: I'm very much alone rn so I could be as loud as is necessary James: [sends her a pic so she knows how into that video he was because worth a thousand words] Ava: Now that is a compliment James: like I said, it's easy to be complimentary towards you Ava: I can see that 🤭 James: I need to see you James: why the fuck isn't it tomorrow yet? Ava: It's actually so unfair Ava: dunno if we can claim starcrossed but you know James: it'll feel less tragic once I get in the shower & can actually turn the volume up Ava: You're really gonna inspire a sequel that easily, huh James: a saga James: longer than Twilight Ava: would just about see us through 'til morning Ava: me @ brunch 🥴 James: I'm wide awake if you are Ava: Of course Ava: new challenge Ava: make you speechless and get you to 💤 pass out, like James: I'm not sure if it's an advantage or disadvantage that I haven't slept well for the last 6 years Ava: We'll work that out together Ava: but wait Ava: say night now so I don't miss it later James: it'll definitely prove helpful in the morning since we have a habit of leaving cups of coffee untouched when we're together James: Oh Ava, you're so sweet James: goodnight for later, my darling Ava: True Ava: and Edward is so jealous Ava: you can't help being more interesting Ava: or better at sweet talk James: we'll make everyone jealous, one day James: when you're my girlfriend Ava: I can't wait Ava: legitimately James: me either Ava: Did you have many girlfriends before Ava: or just do hookups James: I didn't have any girlfriends before Ava: suppose you didn't have much time, nah Ava: not for serious ones James: I didn't want a serious one in school & my parents absolutely didn't want me to have one either, for all the good that did Ava: Makes sense Ava: parents rarely get what they want though, like you said James: I was having too much fun not being serious about anything, until I wasn't any more Ava: That's a lot of people Ava: if there's a time for it James: that's everyone I knew then & a lot of different people I also know now Ava: Yeah, it is a bit like they typecast this entire area most of the time James: I'll make every attempt to avoid it when I set the scene in my novel Ava: like you said too, fun 'til it ain't Ava: I always leave before then James: I always did too, until I got to rehab & leaving was no longer an option James: kind of its unique selling point Ava: How long ago was that? James: it's been years Ava: What did you go in for, if you don't mind me asking James: do you remember that expensive drug habit I mentioned as being one of the only things I used to care about? it honestly was Ava: I was just worried you were meant to be sober Ava: 'cos that would've been really awkward Ava: that's amazing though Ava: well done James: I'm mostly sober but sometimes I fuck that up, which is awkward, you're right Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that night was totally my idea, I steamrolled you so hard James: it was my bad idea to get drunk, that's not your fault James: it's also not your fault that I did something I shouldn't to try & stop myself from doing something else that I'd convinced myself that I shouldn't James: because I'm well aware of how well that doesn't work Ava: Alright Ava: but I'll be more supportive now I know, for the record Ava: though I see your logic there, even if it didn't exactly go to plan James: it went according to an even better plan James: because here we are James: & I don't want to spoil your fun, Ava Ava: I can't even claim it as my plan, sadly Ava: 'cos I couldn't even imagine we'd get here Ava: and you won't, you don't Ava: there's more than one way to have fun Ava: every time I've met up with you has been fun and I was only drinking one of those times so safe to say it isn't required, like James: tomorrow won't be any different, I promise James: despite the fact my office has never been fun before Ava: yeah but I've never been there before Ava: obviously the issue James: the main issue, absolutely Ava: having your dad as a co-worker is probably a fair 2nd James: technically he's my boss & how often he likes to make that known is the 3rd Ava: ick Ava: 🙄 Ava: he's not getting in the book James: I'll put him in the acknowledgements for spurring me on in getting the chapters done quickly Ava: 😂 A subtle dig is the best kind James: 🖋 vs ⚔ Ava: your 🤓 brain is sexy James: I'll happily say again that everything about you is Ava: I'll be even happier when I can hear you actually say it tomorrow James: you can hear me say it now James: I'll bring you into the 🚿 with me Ava: I love you James: [okay we skipping to tomorrow for my evil cockblocking deeds] James: Teddy's here Ava: Oh Ava: to visit or put in hours? James: the latter apparently, which he has wisely decided to do when my dad isn't here to supervise him Ava: Well, good for him Ava: right, what's the plan then James: I'm gonna go get Matty, she might as well here too since you can't be James: maybe she'll annoy him enough that he'll leave earlier than he's currently planning to Ava: Cross my fingers, like Ava: she's pretty sweet overall though James: Teddy really doesn't like children though Ava: I can't imagine him interacting with one tbf Ava: keep me posted then, I guess James: he dropped Jay when she was a bit older than Matty, it can't have helped matters James: if nothing else I'll try & leave earlier than I actually need to when I go to pick her up James: it won't give us long but it's the best I can do Ava: Kids are made of sturdy stuff, if my fam has taught me anything Ava: bless him Ava: that's cool Ava: the girls were going on to the shops so I'll just join them James: okay Ava: can't be helped, can it James: not yet James: but I'm still sorry Ava: not your fault James: [sends her all the deets because he's booked her a massage since he can't give her one & she's now got loads of spare time, like ILY babe] Ava: You didn't have to do that Ava: but as far as 2nd best options go Ava: I've lucked out there, thank you James: I'm aware how frustrating all of this is, in every possible aspect of the word James: so hopefully this will help Ava: It is Ava: but you're worth it to me so I'm in if you are Ava: though probably warn me beforehand if it's that kind of massage, otherwise it could get awkward James: 😂 I have heard she's very good but I can't personally vouch for whether or not that's why she's as highly recommended as she is James: you'll have to let me know Ava: 😏 I'll let you know if your friends are shameless perverts or not, yeah James: thank you James: it would be useful information to have because both my parents have separately been there Ava: 😬 Ava: do you reckon that's ever happened Ava: having an affair with the same person by accident James: it must have at some point Ava: I mean, a thruple is the last resort of every middle-aged couple wanting to reignite things so give it a go James: thank god I'm not yet middle aged & my marriage is dead in the water James: it was strange enough when a friend made a pass at me at a party who I know had slept with her previously without seeking us it out Ava: as much as it pains me you aren't, babe Ava: she's not my type either sorry James: understandable, he wasn't mine Ava: you straight? James: shocking, I know Ava: Again, tragically not but I thought I better check 😉 James: as much as she'd probably love that to be the reason I want to leave her, it's not Ava: That cliche really is played out though James: agreed, it's not one of my preferred cliches Ava: Fine, fine, I WON'T sleep with the masseuse, you don't have to beg James: if you could not sleep with anyone else, regardless of their profession, that'd be a relief Ava: 'Course I won't Ava: I love you, there'd be no point James: I miss you so much Ava: I know, I miss you too Ava: not just because all my friends seem to have got new boyfriends at once that they all had to talk about James: two fake profiles would be a step too far, right? Ava: 🤏 just Ava: anyway, fake girl means nothing Ava: I don't wanna claim fake boy either, just you James: maybe you should come to the office & let Teddy see you, it would get everything out in the open Ava: I don't think you're ready for that, are you James: there is no way to ready myself for it though, is there? Ava: There's some ways Ava: even if you know your wife is obviously gonna be a nightmare regardless Ava: can ease everyone else in Ava: maybe mention you've met someone to him? see how he is with that first James: I don't really want to involve him to such a dramatic degree, yours is a much better idea Ava: Believe me, I wanna be there as much as you want me there Ava: but I don't wanna fuck it up James: me either, it's gotten so bad with her James: as bad as it's ever been Ava: What are you going to do? James: I don't know, I tried to leave when...after I left you & James: well, I'm still there, aren't I? Ava: It's really fucking complicated Ava: and that's an understatement Ava: it will probably be worse after, when you do leave Ava: but then, when she can't follow through with her threats, 'cos it's all bullshit, what can she do, you know what I mean James: she's said things that mean I can't risk leaving her alone with the children at all now James: not that I particularly did before but there were things I believed she'd do then & things I didn't actually Ava: You'd have to take them with you Ava: so that means you need to keep your place Ava: but I assume the chances of her leaving are slim to none Ava: unless Ava: hmm James: she's said she wants to go, start over, but that means nothing James: I know she'd refuse to just to spite me Ava: Appearance is everything with her, yeah? James: it is Ava: you need to do something that will make her leave then, feel like she's made the decision Ava: like if you were gay, something that she can't make go away on the socials James: we can't have a baby just so she'll fuck off Ava: No, I can't even have news of a fake baby getting back to my parents Ava: but seriously Ava: if we did out us, show people we were Ava: would she find a way to hack that or no? James: she'd find a way to destroy your entire life Ava: No she wouldn't Ava: she's doing that to yours, has been for too long James: she would, Ava James: she's done it before, to your sister, to any other girls she's found out about James: & I didn't even care about them the way I do about you Ava: What could she possibly say about me? Ava: I'm a homewrecker? If she wants everyone to know how unhappily married she is Ava: Everyone knows all about my weird family, I've dealt with that for years Ava: Anything she could say, I'd own up to or I'd prove wrong, she doesn't control my narrative James: even if you are right, she still controls mine James: my children's James: I'm not allowed to just take them, am I? She'll have me arrested or something Ava: Only mentally Ava: you can break that, you will Ava: 'cos she doesn't provide any finances, she doesn't look after the kids, what does she offer, like Ava: there is no hold over you but her mental one Ava: Your name is on their birth certificates too, you're as entitled to be with them Ava: anyway, you don't have to go anywhere, who owns your flat, like? James: my dad owns everything Ava: Yeah, your dad Ava: He's not going to put his grandkids out, even if he doesn't side with you Ava: and if it comes to it, he'll have to have you both out whilst you sort out the divorce Ava: there's no way she's automatically entitled to that flat, it isn't either of yours Ava: and she's not automatically entitled to the kids, especially with all the worrying things she's said, yeah James: but I'm not either, I'm an addict Ava: Recovered, literally went to rehab Ava: and let's be honest, half this town is on it to that degree but they're not owning up and calling it a problem Ava: you did that and you sorted it out James: what if they aren't actually mine? James: she's cheated as much as I have Ava: Oh, James Ava: I don't know Ava: you could find out Ava: if you were ready for that but Ava: I see the appeal of not knowing Ava: she probably does though, if she's thought to use it against you before, it's at least crossed her mind too James: as much as she's said it, I've never actually believed her James: but what if I find out that they aren't, it'll be the end, nothing else that we've just said would even have any relevance James: I can't lose them, Ava, I'd rather stay with her forever than let that happen Ava: Of course Ava: they're yours, you raised them Ava: does she Ava: stupid question but does she actually want them? James: no James: she told me she never did, either of them Ava: I don't Ava: as spiteful as she is Ava: would she keep two kids she doesn't love or want Ava: what about her parents, what do they think? James: they're both at their wits end Ava: They'd back you, then James: they know they can't back her James: too much has happened that her mum knows about Ava: If you have proof and people backing you that she's unfit to be the sole provider, then she'd have to sort out visitation and work with you Ava: and I can't see her bothering, if she means all she's said Ava: but Ava: I don't know Ava: it's scary James: if she knows it's you I'm with, I honestly couldn't guarantee anything with regards to what she would or wouldn't do James: her strange obsession with your siblings is something I've never quite understood Ava: None of this is about me, or my wellbeing Ava: I don't care, there's nothing she can do to me Ava: if that was all we were worried about I'd move myself in today but it ain't James: but what I'm saying is, she could go further than we're thinking she would with regards to the children because she doesn't want me to be happy with you specifically James: not just because she doesn't want me to be happy ever Ava: Okay, I get it Ava: So you'll either stay, forever Ava: or she'll take the kids and you'll have to battle in the courts to see them James: that's how it appears James: & if they aren't mine, she just takes them if I don't stay forever Ava: That's why if you do decide to leave Ava: you need to know that first James: I'm scared to know it Ava: That's understandable Ava: there's few things scarier that I can think of James: Matty wouldn't remember if I disappeared from her life now but Jay needs me Ava: You aren't going to just disappear Ava: whatever you decide, whatever happens, we won't let it be that James: can you forget everything I said about trying to be sober, please, I really need a drink James: lots of drinks actually Ava: Tell whoever you need to that you need to go home, okay Ava: then come meet me Ava: I shouldn't have started this conversation right now, I'm so sorry Ava: come be with me James: I can't, you've got a massage to get to & that's the least of what's expected of me James: not leaving Ava: Okay, have you got Matty? Ava: Because go do that then, spend some time with her James: I don't think I should, she'll pick up on how I feel & then nobody'll get any work done Ava: Alright, are you sure you want to stay, you'll be alright? James: I'll be fine Ava: I'll leave you to it then Ava: try to distract yourself, sure Teddy will help you James: I'll talk to you later Ava: Sure, no worries James: [later] James: I'm sorry Ava: I totally get it Ava: well, I don't, but I totally get that too Ava: I'm sorry as well James: everything is indescribably terrible Ava: Yeah Ava: it's bad James: I'm so sorry, Ava Ava: You don't have to say sorry to me Ava: I chose what I chose Ava: you didn't know what you were signing up for, how could you James: now you know what you're signing up for, if you don't want to be any more, I understand Ava: Don't say that James: I have to say it Ava: Now you have then but I'm ignoring you James: please don't Ava: I could never, you know how I feel Ava: that's not changing, it can't James: I know & you know I don't want it to Ava: I just wish there was something I could do Ava: to actually help James: you do help James: more than I can find words to express Ava: I'm not gonna bring it all up again but Ava: all I can think is we have two spare rooms at mine, alright Ava: if you ever need them James: what about your parents? Ava: I could talk to them Ava: and both rooms have bathrooms, and it's only me on that floor as well so the girls wouldn't have to feel like they've got to meet loads of new people James: but what could you possibly say? Ava: As much of the truth as they need to know Ava: Don't worry about that, they're easier to sort than any of the rest of this, yeah James: I'm fairly certain that'd be the whole truth & that wouldn't be easy Ava: They're big rooms, the girls could share or you could have one with Matty Ava: I'm saying, we don't have to say you could as easily share mine James: I wouldn't want someone as fucked up as me going out with either of my daughters Ava: You aren't Ava: it'll just be the age gap but they'll get over that Ava: anyway, the space is there, that's about all I've come up with since earlier James: thank you James: for even trying to come up with anything while I've just been James: again, I don't know what the word is, or could be Ava: You needed to stop Ava: as much as you ever can James: & now I need to see you but it can never just be that simple Ava: Does Jay have anything on tonight, like a club or a lesson or? James: ballet, so I have to stay because she hates it Ava: Fair enough Ava: Is lunch tomorrow an option or? James: I'll make sure it is Ava: Okay, I'll see you then Ava: could you do a phonecall during ballet, even for five minutes Ava: just so I can hear your voice, tell you all the things I wanna James: no promises Ava: of course James: aren't you glad you came back from holiday to all this Ava: I wasn't planning to stay there forever regardless Ava: you know how much I missed you Ava: still do James: tell me about it, or the massage, or your friends' boyfriends, anything that isn't the subject of my misery Ava: It was a good massage Ava: though the way my shoulders killed, you wouldn't think I'd just been on holiday Ava: you definitely need to try it yourself James: I'll book us in together next time Ava: That'll be perfect James: but before I do, did she try & seduce you? Ava: 😂 Ava: not enough to convince me I need to go back every fortnight 💔 James: did you not tell her I've got a best selling novel to write? Ava: Of course Ava: doing the hard sell on everyone for you, babe James: I appreciate it, very much Ava: I appreciate you Ava: What time will you be back, I'll uber eats you something for dinner Ava: you must be exhausted James: only if you order the same thing, it'll almost be like having dinner together Ava: You have the best ideas James: [a time that he'll be back] Ava: It's a date James: I'll dress up for you James: get out of these work clothes Ava: 😳 'scuse you Ava: warn me before you're gonna be that hot please James: if you were warned, you'd be less likely to 😳 Ava: I'll always blush for you Ava: like it or not James: you know how much I like it Ava: I seriously wish you were here Ava: such a waste of pink James: I wish you were here Ava: Gutted my ballet days are behind me James: she doesn't want to go, is there anywhere we actually could meet? Ava: With the kids? Ava: I hear that new soft play does a good coffee James: okay Ava: It's one place adults are actually encouraged to chat to each other so it won't be weird to Jay James: as soon as I tell her she doesn't have to put her tutu on, that's all she'll care about Ava: Bless her James: not to mention the bun, that's a war I'm happy to call a ceasefire on Ava: I'll put my hair down Ava: not trigger her 😂 James: just me then 😍 Ava: it's still a date, like Ava: got to keep you on your toes James: can we draw the line at a pirouette though please? I'm very tired Ava: alright, another time 😏 James: tomorrow maybe Ava: you'll feel up to it then? Ava: planning on a 💤 night of sleep James: you said the coffee's good James: if I actually manage to drink it, who knows Ava: Don't you know you're too big for the ball pit? James: that's an outrageous thing to say! after the day I've had, I couldn't deserve a ball pit more James: you've really devastated me there Ava: Okay, okay, I'm sorry Ava: sneaky hold my hand under the balls? Ava: please James: regardless of your apology, I'm gonna have to throw you in James: so yes Ava: 😱 Ava: now that's actually outrageous James: 😏 Ava: 😈 Ava: how you play James: with you Ava: so inappropriate to make me 😳 in soft play James: oh, so you want best behaviour? James: I can do that too Ava: No Ava: never said that Ava: I might like inappropriate James: I also think you might, let's find out Ava: 🥰 Ava: Let's James: Ava James: I seriously don't know what I would do without you James: no, that's wrong actually, I do. I'd be in such a state right now, really drunk or worse James: because it's not talking about it that's the problem James: we have to keep talking about it, okay? James: I have to figure out what I'm going to do Ava: I love you, James Ava: of course we can keep talking, I'm not going to leave you Ava: whatever you need means just that Ava: you will figure it out Ava: You will not lose them, okay, whatever that takes James: but what you need is just as important & if that's ever taking a step back, not talking about it or whatever else, do it Ava: Of course Ava: I will, I'll try James: good, I've already dragged you into this & I refuse to also drag you down Ava: You'll see how hard it is to do that in the ball pit James: 😂 Ava: Not without a fight, ever James: if they don't use that as the film tagline, such a waste Ava: They might want you as lead for that Ava: negotiations are ongoing James: you're the face, it's non-negotiable Ava: 🥺 I wanna kiss your face James: I want to press my lips against every single bit of your skin, all the time Ava: Oh James: there's never enough hours for everything I want to do with you Ava: Making up for all that lost time should be very, very good James: we're going to need days, weeks, months James: I want to give you that Ava: You can promise James: can I? Ava: Yeah Ava: we'll find a way, right? James: I promise you Ava: 💙 Ava: I promise you it'll get better James: of course, there's no crying in the ballpit Ava: not even when I beat you James: hypothetically not even then, but you won't so it's no problem Ava: 😏 that's fighting talk James: yes, it very much is Ava: Don't try to swoon your way to victory Ava: I'm definitely not that easy, nope James: I'm not Mr Darcy James: we can both do better than that James: that said, I am wearing a white shirt Ava: Shame there's not a good lake around James: but we should still go swimming some time Ava: Only if you pick the bikini Ava: tradition now James: of course, I'd hate to break tradition Ava: take you off the alumnus James: & then how would I meet girls Ava: 😲 Ava: Cheek James: that's all it is, I assure you Ava: not a threat then? James: no James: I'm not planning to lose you in the ball pit Ava: Good luck Ava: take more than a subtle hint to get rid of me, babe James: it'd be very bad luck Ava: 🍀 James: how soon can you be there? Ava: it isn't far, is it Ava: 15-20 minutes James: okay Ava: You better show up first so I can tell 'em I'm meeting you Ava: convincing a not-bothered 6-year-old I have an imaginary child is one thing Ava: reception will just be getting 🚨 James: I'll let you know when we do Ava: 👍 Ava: I'm looking forward to it Ava: even if it'll be odd to leave it at a kiss on the cheek James: & very odd for you & Jay to finally be in the same place Ava: Yeah, you sure you're alright with it? Ava: No doubt she'll totally blank me, who wouldn't when faced with the joy of soft play James: obviously it's far from ideal for me or you but Ava: I just wanna see you Ava: I'm fine with it James: I know I should probably care more but I swear, if this day ends without seeing you James: I will actually lose my mind Ava: We're not doing anything wrong Ava: you can't help it if random women talk to you at soft play Ava: have to keep you literally locked up to avoid that so James: It does happen a lot & yet I've so far avoided being chained to the wall Ava: Exactly Ava: not even anything noteworthy Ava: and I'm not gonna like Ava: overstep or be too much with either of the girls, you don't need to worry Ava: I wouldn't do that, or anything you weren't comfortable with James: I'm not worried about that James: I'd never have brought Matty over to your house if I thought it was going to make either of us feel uncomfortable Ava: 'Course Ava: you're a good dad James: but if you do feel anything close to it, with Jay or with anything, just tell me Ava: I will Ava: You're doing this well, you know James: I'm trying to Ava: And if she ever says, you know Ava: she doesn't like me or whatever Ava: then you can tell me and we won't meet when you have to be with them Ava: take it slower Ava: I know it would make it harder but I know they come first and I'm totally cool with that James: you're doing this really well too Ava: I hope so Ava: it's new territory for both of us, all of us Ava: we'll work this out too James: I trust you, Ava Ava: Thank you Ava: you can Ava: I'm not gonna let you down James: but you can, like you said, we're all just trying to get better at being people, aren't we Ava: Yeah, okay Ava: Too cocky? Ava: I'll try really, really hard not to let you down, but no promises Ava: How's that? James: I don't want you to think that me thinking you're perfect means you have to be James: 😇 & 😈 remember, mistakes are what rewrites exist for & I already made mine in trying to let you go James: you're allowed to get it wrong too Ava: I just really don't want to hurt you James: I don't want to hurt you either Ava: as long as we know that, even if we do by accident or whatever Ava: that's better, isn't it Ava: than me leaving you alone James: anything would be better than that James: but yes, especially if we know what we want & don't want James: I'd let you hurt me over & over again if it meant you didn't leave but I know that isn't what you want Ava: Never ever Ava: even thinking about it is making me hurt James: so we're not going to let it happen even hypothetically Ava: only fun hypotheticals James: like the traffic not being horrendous so I get to soft play before the children start a riot James: because we're finally ready to go Ava: That's so hypothetical it borders on a pipe dream but maybe the universe will play fair after the day you've had 🙏🤞 James: so much so that I'm hypothetically considering walking Ava: how many hypothetical stops would you have to make 'cos she wants to look at something or pick something up she shouldn't Ava: Frank can make a ten minute walk take a good thirty, easy James: enough that I could hypothetically catch my breath after all the cigarette breaks I've had today & I might not hypothetically pass out Ava: Just thinking of your health, clearly James: I should quit, again Ava: How long did you manage? James: which time? Ava: 😏 most successful time then James: 6 months maybe Ava: Not to be sniffed at Ava: longer than I've gone and I'm a shameless 'social' smoker as if that's alright James: how long have you managed? Ava: However long between whenever I've been offered one Ava: I've not tried really James: do you want me to not offer you any? Ava: Sounds like you need to catch your breath Ava: take that as you will James: okay Ava: 😊 Ava: Tell me when I need to leave James: [a long enough pause] James: you can leave now, if you'd like Ava: On my way Ava: how strict is your sweet policy? James: arguably not as strict as it should be, but I don't share that hypothetical opinion Ava: I'll stop in the shop on the way Ava: now, do I guess and see how my choice rates or do I cheat and ask you what the faves are Ava: 🤔 James: you heard me say I trust you, right? Ava: Okay, I got this James: I believe it & in you, darling Ava: 😍 you could say that again Ava: if you liked James: I've got no end of faith in you, Ava Ava: Ugh, bye Ava: I've melted James: what I'm hearing is that I'm going to have to pour you into the ball pit? Ava: If you can pick me up off the floor, yes Ava: also what I'm hearing is you want a treat too, noted James: of course I'll pick you up Ava: Actually trying to kill me Ava: I'm trying to walk, like James: if I could carry you over the threshold of this soft play centre, I would Ava: Babe 😩 James: not the time nor the place, understood Ava: Sadly not James: when the filmmaker takes certain liberties with the source material, we'll attempt it then Ava: Directors cut, yeah James: yes Ava: right, 'scuse me whilst I focus Ava: 🍭🍫🍬 important decisions to be made James: you're sweeter than any of it Ava: James James: sorry, you need to concentrate 😶 Ava: 😈 you Ava: but 😇 at the same time Ava: how do you do it? James: how do you? Ava: Touche Ava: maybe we're a good match James: I think we are Ava: What a coincidence Ava: Me too James: 🍀 Ava: [do we wanna end it here and just work out how it goes?] James: [yeah we can do] Ava: [I'm saying she went animal-themed and got her like percy pigs and an animal bar and the animal biscuits etc and got Matty some rusks or something soz baby snacks aren't as fun and then got him some candy cigarettes] James: [we all know that'd go down amazingly well done babe & I'm saying the baby made the loudest sound when she saw her again like oh hey girl] Ava: [that would be so cute] James: [we all know they already like each other] Ava: [lbr you haven't got any competition in Chloe, all you need to do is not be a massive bitch] James: [mhhmmm I'm also saying he let Jay decide what she wanted to wear because she deserves that thank you] Ava: [when you're busy living your best life so I assume you'll be alright even if you're like hello stranger?] James: [she'd be in such a good mood thankfully] Ava: [we all deserve this to be a moment, lads] James: [even if it can't be as much of a moment as you'd both like, keep it sneaky lads] Ava: [🐍[ James: [the self control required after the day they've had and how highkey their emotions are rn] Ava: [truly, at least no adults are there to pick up on what is way more than the vibe] James: [the receptionist been knew but who's she telling] Ava: [lmao imagine the amount of people conducting sneaky affairs she stay in her lane] James: [I bet they would cos their kids could not be more distracted] Ava: [its perfect tbh] James: [100% am throwing her in the ballpit excuse us children] Ava: [must be done] James: [let him be young goddamn it, he was robbed] Ava: [be young and have fun] James: [Jau just talking about soft play constantly for the foreseeable but Chloe none the wiser lol] Ava: [gonna steal your kids and your man 'cos you don't want 'em James: [they gotta come back because not only is it a great cover it'd be a really swag soft play like better than the one Louise always goes to even because posh people] Ava: [remember on scummymummies they said that one did booze lol they've got so fancy] James: [you're missing out Chlo, soz not soz] Ava: [literally no one is soz, not even your baby] James: [the baby should have her tort with her because feels] Ava: [awh yas] James: [no other kids steal it thank you] Ava: [baby fight lmao] James: [I hope not because the mum would be so judgey cos he's young & Ava's even younger] James: [not sorry we all serving looks & living our best lives at this soft play] Ava: [no one shall bring them down rn or I'll brawl] James: [but I do hope Jay's hair is the messiest it's ever been because fuck you chloe] Ava: [i always wonder what chloe is actually doing 'cos like, nothing ever is the tea] James: [truly how much shopping can you do girl] Ava: [waiting for your fairytale in your sham of a life, like] James: [ooh Ava should do something with Jay's hair that she actually likes cos maybe she's getting annoyed at it while she's trying to play & live her best life and James is like pikachu meme what is this witchcraft but she thinks he's like 😧 how dare you for the hottest of secs] Ava: [a mood just like lowkey how dare you but also how teach me lmao] James: [just falling more in love with the bae by the second over here] Ava: [queen of understated and simple shoutout to your mother for that one] James: [yas I've always loved that about Bea] Ava: [the levels of fuss Chloe is is not a mood for anyone] James: [one of many reasons Jay hates you babe] Ava: [those poor kids she ends up having like rip] James: [I hope she only dresses James now when they are going out because lord] Ava: [poor boy not a mood] James: [especially now you got the hottest bae ever] Ava: [nothing you can do to cockblock this honey] James: [she should obvs find the fake profile like immediately though] Ava: [we can do that next] James: [& if she messages it Ava will be able to see what she's like] Ava: [the delight that is, okay letgo]

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