#i'm angry and i feel trapped | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sherlock-is-ace · 21 days

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#not having a great time today after my mom commented on my interests #i'm a person that is interested in shit i don't know this is why i'm very likely to follow disabled youtubers #in my time i have watched molly burke. multiplicityandme and a collection of autistic youtubers (guess why lol)#and my mom made a quite patronizing comment about how i ''take on causes'' by learning about stuff #and/or supporting fun and interesting youtube channels #but anyways it sucks even more because on her comment she made it clear (once again) that she doesn't believe me when i say #i might be autistic. and it fucking sucks!#because when i first talked to her about it even I didn't know much about it. i was just starting to do my research #and i was trying to make sense of things still but she dismissed it #but now that i do know more and things do make more sense #i can't even bring it up because the fact that i have been watching a lot of youtubers talk about autism will make her think #i'm just trying to be like them... which is stupid #but it's also the reason i didn't tell her that my best friend in my teens was trans. because i was trying to figure shit out myself #and telling her he was trans and then a bit later that i am as well was going to make her go ''everyone's trans now blah blah''#and dismiss that as well... but now i'm trapped in the same thing about autism lol #and her stupid loophole of a dismissal isn't just by saying ''no you're not autistic'' it's saying this like ''well MAAAAYBE you COULD be #but that doesn't mean anything and it doesn't matter and why would you want a diagnosis if it's not gonna change anything''#same thing as her whole ''sure you're a man but why do you have to look and act differently? YOU know who YOU are #who cares what others think?'' in a don't transition way #like that's so stupid!#dkfjhkdfhkdfg #i'm angry and i feel trapped #i have figured out a little bit ago that i don't stim near as enough as i need to BECAUSE i live in the same house as her #and the idea of ear defenders and other stuff like that is very appealing but i can't do that while she's around to judge #and IN PUBLIC?! that's unthinkable!!#i still remember the time she threatened with not going out with me (to the supermarket) because I commited the huge crime of #buttoning the top button of my button up shirt....#that's it. that was the whole reason.. she thought i looked ridiculous and she didn't want to be seen with me...#imagine if i wear ear defenders out...#not gonna risk it lol

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wellfine · 4 months

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wow...... MANY artists take requests randomly. this isn't the original anon, I just saw your post&was blown away by how rude it was. this anon wasn't even rude. artists are always putting out informationals with like guides on how to speak to them&it's the so egotistical&rude&controlling. I literally won't commission random artists anymore&only my close friends bc of these rules that change artist to artist&don't apply to everyone. anon asked you a simple question&was extremely nice about it&you chose to be an asshole in response. y'all act like you're training rabid dogs or something. just, say no, don't answer, or block the anon. like I can't figure out what ticked you off so much about that. talking to ppl like shit won't help them. it will just make people afraid to speak to you at all. anyways lol you're losing a follower&a fan. maybe let your anger out at the gym or something before you take it out on someone asking an innocent question. they truly probably thought "the worst they could say is no" &you proved them wrong. exactly the reason I no longer commission art from artists who aren't my close friends. my anxiety is too high to deal with the anger&your need to control how other people talk to you(even when it's not mean&they're just asking an innocent question).

Good lordt

Mate, I said "no hard feelings just letting you know this ask came across as rude" after we had a bit of a giggle about how funny it is that they hadn't stumbled upon the specific kind of fanart they wanted to see when IMO it's extremely common in the fandom, and then pointed them to another artist who had already drawn what they wanted to see.

"Don't ask/hint at artists to draw you things for free" is not being rude or demanding or egotistical, it's just a firm boundary. It's not a minefield to navigate, and artists who accept random requests usually say so somewhere in their bio/about. I also think blocking the poor anon would've been way more harsh and unnecessary than letting them know how their behaviour was perceived, cuz if they keep doing it, some other artist is going to be way meaner about it.

#I'm really not trying to be mean here. but I think you saw yourself in that anon and are taking this personally #like I wasn't even angry! if you felt my response was unnecessary and don't want to follow me any more then I get that #but you're acting like I fully unleashed on them and I really didn't #I know it feels from your POV like my response was inconsiderate but my POV is that it's minorly inconsiderate-#of artists' time not to check if they currently take requests before asking for one. Neither their question nor my response were huge deals #original anon if you're out there I'm genuinely not angry at you. If you message me again I'd be happy to link you more trans zoro art #and if you frame this sort of thingas a question like 'have you ever drawn/seen XYZ art?' you're more likely to get a rly positive response #and start a discussion and possibly even bag some new art out of it lol! my advice is to trick us like with cheese under a box trap

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k-martins · 10 months

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I remember seeing someone commenting that Gojo's shadow projecting over Megumi looked like Megumi when she was older.

And it reminded me of that scene from the first season, when Megumi just stopped holding back and decided to really fight to win. Kind of like a wake up call?

That scene is so good, but I feel like Megumi regressed a bit afterward? Well, just thinking.

#I'm feeling a bit emotionally constipated today #maybe because we won't have anything jjk until next week?#but I also want to say that I loved seeing Tsumiki in the anime #she looks super cute in that one second scene #I wanted to see more of her #jjk #jjk spoilers #fushiguro megumi #gojo satoru #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #jjk season 2 #tsumiki fushiguro #jjk s2 #I think I have to get off social media for a bit #I've been feeling a bit trapped in them #and I'm a bit angry at Elon Musk and Mark Zuckebergen

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angelsdean · 5 days

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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life #or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM #like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people #do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap #like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way #his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong #it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong #which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right #but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven #i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit #when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief #but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings #anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure #but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc #a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime #vic.txt #dean and feelings #so i can find this all again later

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idsb · 12 days

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y'all wanna hear the most insane thing EVER. do you remember the crazy person who last week was threatening to get my entire Etsy shop taken down to "do right by Taylor" after they actually did steal from me and had their Etsy perma-banned as a consequence? and felt I had to sort-of play nice and offer to get their account re-instated if they stopped stealing from me, so that I didn't have to deal with literally suing them if they got my whole shop deleted for lying about copyright? yeah well! I got their account back up and you know what they fucking said to me!!!

"I really appreciate your assistance on this. I'm very good with using Etsy, so if you'd like to hire someone to manage your shop I have good rates"

ARE YOU FUCKINGGGGGGGGJSGKDHKJ

#SCRATCH MAIM BITE KILL #I'm sooooooo angry you don't even understand how much it is taking from me to just stay silent and not reply and block them #like that both further proves they're psycho #they were scamming me the WHOLE time bc I've received that exact script from scam accounts that want to STEAL YOUR SHOP #they think I'm dumb enough to fall for it AND #they have the genuine AUDACITY to think that after doing that to me I would PAY them?!?!?!?!?!?#even if it wasn't obviously a scam???? I'M-#holy fuck I wanna get their account taken back down but then I'd just get trapped in the same loop forever #I feel sooooooo filthy being taken for a ride like this holy f-

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unrulylarry · 11 months

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#i don't want it to become a thing #but i'm genuinely worried that her boyfriend doesn't seem happy #i know in her head she has a great relationship #and that's just the next step #because she thinks she's such an adult #(she's not she's a child wether people like it or not)#but i can't help thinking with his reaction he didn't want that #and i'd hate for to be in a situation where the father of the child feels trapped #also very concerned about their dad and stepmother's reactions?#i really don't like how everybody's reaction is to be happy when teenage pregnancies are the hardest?#i saw someone say that because jay had louis young it's only natural for her to be a young mother #how fucked up is that?#did no one register that louis' bio dad fucked off and she was left alone to raise him?#that it must have been really difficult even if she had her parents help?#they ideolise lottie and that in itself is disturbing #and the fact that so many young girls follow them and are gonna think this is okay is just baffling #just have a look at the comments in her video #anyone saying she might be young only angry comments #like it's her life her body whatever #and yeah #i personnaly don't care what she does with her life #it doesn't impact mine #but it's the message that she's sending that's troubling #and it's exactly what's happening #anyway #i'm feeling unneasy about the whole thing #i'm glad they're not my sisters #i'd have fucking lost it

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tsuncda · 1 day

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so am i right or am i right in my assertion that bridgerton doesn't actually do character work, it just rebrands it's main characters before their season begins and tries to recontextualize them as poor little meow meows.

#olive rambles #watched the first half of season 3 #was thinking to myself: huh. pen isn't that bad.#and then decided to rewatch some season 2 scenes to recontextualize who the characters are. y'know. so i can be an intelligent viewer #and all that jazz.#and damn you bridgerton i fell for your trap for a second there.#SHE'S NOT !!!!!!! THE SAME !!!!!!!! CHARACTER !!!!!!!!!#this isn't just about framing a narrative differently season 2 pen and season 3 pen are different girlies entirely #WHERE IS THE WRATH #i *want* a vengeful penelope featherington damnit #even if i don't like her as a person i could respect her as a character #and yet #they just make her a soft sadgirl #which also feels very cheap because women can be angry and messy and vengeful and still find love #honestly get polin out of here and get penelope angry again #i want to see BLOOD or season 2 is cheapened in retrospect #look me in the eye and tell me i'm wrong #you can't #i am the god of this chilis and i have spoken #i think over the summer i'm going to watch all of bridgerton over again so i can make a corkboard of theories #and be intelligent in my hate #PENELOPE WAS ANGRY AND LOUD ABOUT IT IN SEASON 2 AND SOMEHOW SHE IS NOW JUST SAD AND RUMINATING IN SEASON 3 #BITCH WHEN AND WHERE DID THIS CHANGE TAKE PLACE AND WHY #AND ALSO FOR WHAT ANGRY ACTIONABLE CHARACTERS ARE DYNAMIC AND HARD TO PREDICT AND MAKE FOR GOOD CINEMA #SAD CHARACTERS THAT SIT AND THINK ABOUT THINGS ARE OKAY TOO BUT THEY ARE NOT !!!!! THE SAME !!!!! AS THE FORMER ARCHETYPE #AND THEY SHOULDN'T BE!!!!!!!!

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thewhizzyhead · 11 months

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okay I love the belobog arc a lot like A LOT and I really like how they wrote cocolia to be some sort of misguided leader that eventually fell into delusion because of the stellaron and I like that her falling into delusion out of the desperation felt from belobog's dire and seemingly unending situation made SENSE.

however,,,she still ordered the underworld to be trapped for a decade,,,and with bronya deciding to lie about her mother's final actions to 'save belobog' and to hide the truth about the stellaron's control,,,shouldn't the people feel rather conflicted that a person branded as belobog's savior,,,still fucking TRAPPED people for a decade? like,,,shouldn't people be a little bit more angry that they've been deprived of resources and fresh air due to a decade-long order by a former belobog leader?

#LIKE 10 YEARS OF BEING TRAPPED UNDER THE SURFACE #IS NO JOKE #not to mention poverty #and being separated from families #and kids not knowing what the fuckjng sky is #like yes bronya still chooses to paint cocolia as a savior for belobog's sake BUT SHE STILL ORDERED TO TRAP PEOPLE #aND THAT ORDER HAS LONG LASTING CONSEQUENCES #so i'm fucking surprised that the underground people werent as like angry about the resolution?#i mean maybe they thought cocolia changed for the better BUT STILL! THEY SUFFERED! THEY DESERVE TO DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY!#i dunno i just i really like the belobog arc i promise BUT a peaceful acceptance of the status quo #doESNT FEEL RIGHT TO ME ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING 10 YEARS OF TOIL UNDER THE SURFACE #which is a shame because the underground life and wildfire can easily become an allegory to i dunno #oppression and mass struggle because of them literally being trapped by cocolia's administration but that's just me #i dunno i wish honkai had done more with it. i wish they had focused on how fucking bleak the belobog thing actually is because holy fuck #honkai star rail #honkai cocolia #cocolia rand #bronya rand #honkai star rail spoilers #hsr spoilers

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ikishima · 1 month

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#the amount of compassion you have to pour directly into a bad-faith asshole's mouth without knowing whether there's even a point #in order to get them to the point where they're willing to engage at a level where they actually take your feelings & words into account #the point where they even start hearing you and seeing you as a potential equal in conversation #the point where learning and growing becomes a possibility #is fucking exhausting. and i understand why a lot of people refuse to do it. i understand why some people dont practice what they preach #because sometimes the congregation in question is just there to throw tomatoes without any intent of listening #but idc! idc! im not gonna let a bunch of assholes close my heart off. id rather be naive but kind and get taken advantage of #if the alternative is leaving people behind or making a single person feel the way i have felt #having good intentions but being unable to express it w/o negative emotion or without the correct words or not being given a fighting chanc #to never be seen as a person or heard or listened to is so hurtful #i never want to do that to someone #and if i have parted ways with you or made you feel like that at any point please know it is only when i have no other options left #i know it's an autism thing to be so utterly gutted at being misunderstood and i'm most likely giving energy to people who don't deserve it #but i dont care! i dont care!#my compassion IS a renewable resource because i keep feeding it hope and humanity #i get mad sometimes but please know every angry word i've ever said has stuck on my mind like a glue trap #i remember every fight i have been slightly too aggressive and potentially awful in since the fifth grade and i continue to ruminate #on harm i have caused however big or small #i feel so surrounded by hate and anger and i just want to be that person who doesnt get caught up in it and can be compassionate no matter #lots to think about today ...#x

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existential-dread-in-the-am · 2 months

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The bad feeling has not worn off from yesterday

#I feel physically ill from one single experience of trapped in room with angry person #fuck you mother you're the one who can't read social cues #when I say let me out let me out and am crying it is not because I am somehow challenging you this is called a panic attack #seriously what the actual hell #Vale yells into the abyss #again #personal #there's an emotional spiral of some kind going on but I'm not sure what is required to either break out of it or complete the process #brain is trying to process what just happened but the processing is causing harm #this is not fun #I keep going from mostly ok and happy to physically in pain and emotionally distressed and then back again #there has to be a way to think more effectively than regular thinking that I can use to solve this shit #like how there's walking and speedwalking or jogging and running or basic math and advanced math #but for emotional processing #advanced emotional processing?#some kind of thinking hard mode?

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aberooski · 2 months

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I'm seriously hanging on by a thread right now I might just go drop dead 😭

#work has just been really overwhelming today I'm going to crack #I hate people #I almost broke down in front of the usher manager today because our radio died while we were falling behind becaus3 #one of the theatres got out slightly late and set us back for like 45 minutes because everything was gettinf out one on top of the other #on complete opposite ends of the theater #amd it's not a small building guys #and I was already angry because there was a huge spill in a theater earlier I had to get a mop for and it was a pain in the ass #then we started falling behind and when we fall behind I get really stressed so I jad to ask the usher manager for help to catch up when we #were switching radios and even with his help we didn't catch back up until JUST NOW because we're on a 30 minute set break #and I've jusy been stressing and running around the theater and I want to go home and cry and drop dead #I'm so hot and tired and drained amd my legs have been sore for DAYS and this is NOT helping and I hate it here and I qant a real job #like I'm fucking 24 years old this shouldn't be the best I can do but trying to find anything else to get out of here has been IMPOSSIBLE #and I just feel so hopeless and helpless and trapped and miserable #I'm so angry and sad and tired and in pain and miserable all the time now #and it's awful and I hate it I don't wanna be that wah anymlre #I can't even type oh my god #I'm dying #abby's having a crisis

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xxangelwingsxx · 3 months

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I'M TIRED OF BEING ANGRY ALL THE TIME

#it used to keep me alive to be angry 24/7 but it doesn't anymore and now it just feels like an anchor wrapped around me and dragging me down #every time I front I'm angry and bitter and upset and I don't even have a good reason to be that isn't from 15 years ago. I'm so stuck and #trapped and I want to get to experience joy like other parts #and I was going to read an old favorite book series but someone gave them away and now I don't feel like there's a point to anything

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non-un-topo · 5 months

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Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol

#you can't really start a sentence with 'i don't hate children--' though.#do i... like them..? ehh they're fine on their own. i just don't like to be around them for very long. they freak me out.#but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about #(cough) my sister-in-law.#it's not ALL she talks about but she does happen to bring children up an awful lot around me. and uhh i have bad news for her.#anyway i feel like the worst person on earth but my gut reaction when i hear people talking about kids is to just get pissed off #or roll my eyes or want to leave the conversation STAT. like my flight instinct takes over.#so it was my partner who figured out that these conversations activate my dysphoria like a nuclear bomb.#dysphoria has manifested in the form of irritation for me this year. same with depression. i just feel angry and annoyed all the time #plus a bit of despair. and it gets more intense with every passing month.#my sister has decided to work in childcare and is doing a placement. she also updates me on every single thing she does in a day -#- down to how many times she shits. i wish i was kidding.#so i get a constant feed of what these random children did in a day (yesterday a girl showed my sister her poop lol)#and it would be funny and fine if it didn't make me want to jump out of my gd skin.#happens all the time at school too.#'whaaaaaaaat you don't want BAABIIEEES?? but you'd make such a good mom!!!'#ahaha No i would not thank you. jesus christ please no thank you. please.#i'm a father figure to a few of my friends and it's the best feeling in the world. that's all i need.#conversations like that always trap me. i feel like a fucking rabbit. stuck with all the aunties in the kitchen.#so i have to be a dick and not offer to clear the plates because none of the men are clearing the plates.#just........ Gender. UGH!!

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erraticroses · 11 months

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#i believe #I have a lot of hate in my heart and that makes me feel wrong #because i want to have like this big heart but in the end sometimes i feel like a performer #like im sacrificing more and more of myself for the sake of other ppl mostly out of habit than real genuine kindness.#ppl ask me why do i believe im a bad person and when i name my reason they say what else bc for them it's not bad. it's human to feel #but sometimes i don't feel human i think? it's such a weird thing. I'm not religious but i want to feel holy.#i don't believe in heaven even. i just want to make everyone around me smile and help heal the ppl that need that help but sometimes i just #feel so angry. so blinded by rage. and so scared. but so spiteful.#and i feel so alone? sometimes. i know I'm not. i know ppl card about me #but then i ask why why why why #but I can't voice the full question because maybe someone will read and it will strain their recovery and healing #and at the end kinda makes me feel more resentful? like. im trying to be perfect and kind and to portray this image of a person #that even tho aloof wants to help for the sake of helping and doesn't deal with all the shit and complex feelings of doing so.#but then the ugly feelings build up and i don't feel like i can voice them because what if they read and i make things worse #and i feel so trapped. and so angry. and so monstrous.#i care if im a good person i care if im kind i care if im friendly #i don't feel like any of that. fuck. fuuuuuck.#i feel like a paradox more than a person

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heavierthanlaila · 9 months

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allah surely is the most merciful and he truly does listen to your duaas and he indeed answers all of them.

#i literally made duaa few days ago and said ya allah if this person is bad for me or if this relationship is making you angry with me pls #take him out of my life #(i was only talking to this guy to know him better for the sake of marriage)#and LITERALLY the next day this dude out of nowhere decided to be super passive aggressive because of something very minor #so i confront him and express my feelings clearly and calmly but get a little mean at the end and his reaction is why are you being mean lol #so i explained why and he was like even if let's say i was mean why would you be mean to me in return???#LMAOOO #like...#so i said so you get to be passive-aggressive and give me the silent treatment and i dont even get to protest in a harsh tone?????#but i didnt argue i just said i really thought you were better than this and that was that #he left just as quickly as he came into my life #the funny thing tho was when he said that he doesn't like it when i use “big words” like manipulation and passive-aggressive #like so he even wants to dictate how i express myself let alone be angry that he crossed my boundaries and was doing something i found annoy #honestly egyptian/arab men are indeed something else #I'm just sad that i let him disturb my peace tbh #I'm glad it's over because I dont have time for some elementary school kid trapped in a 29 year old body #he even made me seriously question myself like if i was that rude or that inconsiderate but honestly it was just him being too insecure #alhamdulilah he is out of my life #I'm so grateful that allah is my wakeel because he surely won't let me down

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jazzraft · 1 year

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........just had a terrible realization that this is what sportsball fans feel any time their team does something marginally right and/or wrong... ew, i'm a dudebro

#*progress reports #no... i can feel the urge... to write angry misspelled facebook tirades.......becoming stronger #i'm going back into retirement after this #i will eat my leg to avoid this bear trap

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