#i'm convinced it's just willful ignorance on the part of the people who don't see it

[itswhatyougive]

I saw some people be like "gweeehhhhhhh Steddie shippers built that whole ship in their minds, it's fanon only, they had no chemistry in the show, they barely had any connection at all "

And it's actually really funny, because I humor them and think, "hmm, was it all in my mind all along?" and rewatch S4.

Then I feel soooooo validated upon rewatching. It actually gets even better and more obvious every time I see it.

[obeyme-and-myfics]

Hi!can I ask a general hc about the bros w/ a really short MC?thx(Idk if your requests are still open if not ignore this)!

Of course! I'm on the shorter side of 5'5 and I get bullied(/pos /Playful) all the time for being on the shorter side I feel bad for people who are undeniably short lmfao Thank you for the request I hope you enjoy this <3

most of this isn't necessarily romantic but I simp for them so I am gonna add a few of them

Part 1(Here)| Part 2

Prompt: Y/N is short

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor

🖤🤍Headcanon list🤍🖤

CW: Teasing, slight NSFW stuff in Mammon's(It's really just a dick joke)

Lucifer

Nicer than most of his other brothers about your height

Makes sly comments about your height

"I'm unsure a human of their... stature, would be able to accomplish such a task," or something like that

He doesn't make these comments often though

Leans down to your level

That's mostly so he doesn't hurt his neck looking down at you and so you don't break your neck looking up at him

Will physically pick you up and move you if you refuse to leave a restricted area(Like the stairs to the attic)

Purposely asks you to get things off higher shelves that are just barely within reach to watch you struggle

He wouldn't readily admit that, that's what he's doing tho

On a more wholesome note he happily gets things off the top shelf for you

He's extra protective over you since he worries other demons may take advantage of how small you are

He doesn't doubt your capabilities its just that these are DEMONS they're a lot stronger than humans despite your or their height

The height thing 100% makes him more concerned however

He does make jokes about carrying you around in his pocket

He's a very private person but when you two are alone he very much enjoys holding you in his arms.

He thinks its cute and funny that your feet don't touch the ground when he hugs you

Mammon

This was the first thing he pointed out about you

“Woah you couldn’t have picked one that wasn’t so tiny”

It was all fun and games(Short jokes) until you had his ass in a pact by the end of day 1

He definitely respected you 100% more after that

He's never gonna admit it tho so he still says dumb shit

Stuff like "How am I supposed to take ya seriously when you're that close to the ground?"

and "Ya know maybe you ended up here BECAUSE you're short. Short people are closer to hell ya know."

Whoop his ass

He'd also joke that you're dick sucking height(even if you're not) if your relationship progresses to something more serious

Uses you as an arm rest

Holds stuff above you and just out of your reach

Puts your belongings on the top shelf when he gets mad at you

Crouches/leans down to your level in a demeaning kind of way

Most importantly he loves to kiss your forehead since its the easiest part of your face to smooch

If you ask him to lift you up to see something better he'd do it no hesitations or questions asked

He is however going to try to play it off like he was just trying to shut you up and not actually being a sweet and loving partner

"It's not like I actually cared if you could see the damn show or anything... Don't look at me like that! I just wanted ya to shut up is all..."

Leviathan

He is staring so hard lmfao

Not in judgmental way but more of a "could I convince you to cosplay with me" type of way

He's making you cosplay every short ass character he can think of

He's definitely more careful with you than he would be if you were taller

If you bitch at him to stop he will tho

Doesn't really care that you're short he just wants to be a nerd(/Affectionate) with you

Will still make short jokes at your expense to a slightly lesser extent than Mammon

Likes it when you sit in his lap while he's playing games so he can rest his chin on the top of your head

Encourages you to climb shit cuz he's not willing to grab stuff that's too high for you to grab

I'm getting my chancla and yeeting it at him for you

He's a little too preoccupied with his games/shows to help

If he's really excited to tell you about something and you're doing something he just grabs you and carries you off

He's not gonna potato sack you tho, no, he's holding you in some weird ass position.

Asmo 100% got a picture of it at least once and sent it to the group chat

He also enjoys holding you close while watching shows

He's red in the face the whole time tho ngl

Satan

Another one of the nicer brothers about you being short

He's happy to help with most things your height prevents you from doing with ease

He doesn't make shorts jokes to your face but he's definitely thinking that shit

Scolds/threatens Mammon when he makes excessive short jokes

Doesn't bend/crouch down to your level

He respects you as a person enough not to demean you like that

He might make comments on your height but he's not trying to be an asshole

If you tell him he's being rude he'd apologize and try to rephrase his statement

"Oh. Sorry I meant..."

He'd be more curious on why Diavolo and Lucifer brought such a small human to devildom

He wouldn't dwell on it for long though

He's more concerned about whether or not you'd be interested in indulging his latest book obsession

Definitely enjoys teasing you by making you look up at him

He likes sitting down or picking you up for kisses

Its mostly sitting down cuz he's a book nerd and reads on his bed/couch a lot

Also he doesn't wanna make you hurt you neck or hurt his own back

Asmodeus

Unintentionally the worst about your height

Comments about it constantly

He just thinks its cute how much shorter you are than him

It doesn't happen often that he has to look so far down at someone I apologize for my transgressions since he's one of the shorter brothers(5'9)

He's 100% taking full advantage of this to try everything to fluster you.

Gently grabbing your chin to make you look up at him, hugging you in the most sensual way possible, shoving you into his mitties(Man titties), etc

Calls you pet names related to being small (i.e. little sugar plum or some shit like that idk)

Has the audacity to mention your height any chance he gets

God forbid he catches you climbing/getting a step ladder or something to grab something higher up

Has commented on the height difference between you and Diavolo VERY loudly before

If you confront him about it he's not gonna stop because he doesn't mean anything by it so why should you care

That's how he thinks about it anyway

If he finds out its an insecurity (if it is) he's gonna do everything in his power to make you love your height

Cuz he loves it why shouldn't you???

Beelzebub

The best brother about your height

He doesn't care

Like he literally could not give less of a fuck

He's the tallest brother and is used to most people being tiny compared to him

He definitely just carries you around sometimes cuz he wants to hang out

Man is carrying you like an American football

That or you're being potato sacked

If you need help getting stuff from high places he's either gonna lift you up or grab it for you

The worst he's ever said to you about your height is asking if you wanna bulk up a little with him to make up for your lack thereof

If you tell him that was fucked up he'll immediately apologize and be careful not to say anything like that again

He is a bit more careful than he would be with you if you weren't short

Will either sit down or lift you up to talk to you eye to eye

He just does wanna hurt his or your neck

How else are y'all gonna lift together??? Can't lift if you hurt yourselves!

He likes hugging you the most

There's just something about it that makes him feel peaceful

Belphegor

He's a bitch about it

Or at least he was at first

Compared you to an ant, shrimp or krill many MANY times

When he was insulting you in the attic he definitely called you puny

After all of that mess was over and done with he lightened up

He's still making fun of your height but to a lesser degree

Drags you away to skip school and take naps

Too lazy to get shit off higher places but will definitely help you down if you get stuck on the counter

Will then make fun of you for having to climb on top of shit to get what you're looking for

Pats your head and uses it as an arm rest

If he falls asleep next to you he's using you as a body pillow and a head rest

He's one of those "I can bully you but if anyone else bullies you I'm whooping their asses" type of person

So if any lower demons or his brothers(Mammon) are being too harsh about it he's gonna do something about it

If you tell him to ease up on the teasing he'll try but no promises

He actually really enjoys watching you stand up for yourself

There's a sense of pride there when you really give someone a piece of your mind

He's NOT more careful with you because of your height

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello Miss Raven!!!

So you know some fanfics about Yuu/MC getting kidnapped by RSA cause they think that "They are too good for NRC"? Well do you think they ever tried to convince Silver to leave NRC? Because he literally has the qualifications to be a little Disney princess/princess(being that hes inspired by Aurora)

I don't know, RSA doesn't really seem like the type to kidnap or poach people for their school...? (Unless you were being completely hyperbolic when you used the term "kidnap" www) If Yuu were to go to RSA at all, I picture it more as being more of a temporary exchange student program or an offer extended to them by Ambrose the 63rd. I feel that we see this idea a lot in fandom works because we are curious about the RSA boys and/or want Yuu to go here and to help solve their issues too.

I personally love seeing RSA!AUs (both art and writing) for the various TWST characters, but I don't think this will actually be done in canon. If we're specifically talking about Silver, I don't think he has a current desire to leave (and nor would he be tempted to), especially since his Diasomnia family is at NRC. Additionally, while he may be princess-like, Silver also has qualities which are trademarks of NRC. For example, he is shown to be competitive with Sebek in matters of knightly duties and has difficulties with expressing himself to others. He's not really what I'd describe as spoiled or prissy either (derogatory descriptions given to describe the RSA kids), he can get quite serious and willing to fight when it comes to the safety of the people he cares about. Yes, he talks about wanting everyone to get along but that makes sense as a part of his character on account of how he was raised (while the RSA students are presented as inherently trusting). Silver may be more agreeable than your average NRC kid, but he's still got some of that school's spirit in him. He's definitely a part of Night Raven College's community.

While Silver may not be everyone's bestie, I don't see them finding him off-putting enough to want him to go somewhere else. Even if his peers saw him in a positive light, they wouldn’t think he’s “too good” for NRC—not when NRC kids think they’re better than RSA. They don’t see RSA as “better”, and nor would the generally prideful students of NRC confess they think anyone is “better” than themselves, Silver or otherwise.

I also just disagree entirely with the notion that "good" people go to RSA and "bad" people go to NRC. We may view it that way on a metatextual level (as players who are familiar with Disney villains), but it definitely isn't presented that way in-universe. (Why would Kalim, Rook, and Silver be attending NRC if only "bad" people attend?) RSA and NRC both just happen to be prestigious magical schools and rivals, and nothing more than that. Judging people by the labels of "good" and "bad" by themselves are also blanket terms which ignore nuance. Just because a character does something good or is generally well-behaved doesn't necessarily make them "good", and nor does doing something bad or being ill-mannered necessarily make them "bad". That's one of the major themes of Twisted Wonderland, getting us to see the "good" in "bad" people. I'm sure that if we delved into RSA's population, we'd also find that the perfect presenting students aren't so perfect after all.

[dont-feel-so-good-peter]

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐒𝐮𝐛!𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟𝐞𝐦 & 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞), 𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬, 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐱 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲, suicide mention and mental illness mentions

Word count: 9k+

Note: I was suppose to be on break but my anxiety wouldn't let me. I swear to god this fucking flops as well, I’m quitting

Once again I'm promoting my Steven Fluff to read after reading smut

— STEVEN GRANT FINALLY HAD TO ADMIT TO HIMSELF THAT HE NEEDED HELP. Professional help that is, it took a while for him to understand that he was at his limit for a mental breakdown. He knew he needed to talk to someone other than the statue man on the street. Someone who would actually respond to when he ranted and well, he searched around for a therapist and found you.

Steven was quite nervous to start therapy, any person was really. To share your vulnerability was scary and Steven only ever been vulnerable with the lively statue by the fountain. His heart pounded in his chest as he shifted on his feet staring at the door with a frosted plane window with your last name on it. Steven was muttering underneath his breath trying to convince himself to go in.

"Don't be mental, you need this Steven. You just need help." Steven whispered to himself, staring at the plane, he saw the reflection shift a bit but he didn't move. He brought the back of his clenched fist to his eyes and rubbed them furiously. "I definitely gone mental."

With his series of muttering gradually becoming louder, suddenly, the door opened causing him to jump in his spot, taking a step back. Your head peeked out the door with furrowed brows and parted lips. Steven felt his breath caught in his throat staring at you with wide eyes. You were simply breathtaking. The way your [color] eyes stared at him in curiosity but with such softness that made him drown in those hues, losing himself all over again.

The way your hair fell over your face and your plump lips quirking into a soft smile. "Oh! You must be Steven Grant!" You beamed happily, opening the door more and stepping by the door frame. "I heard noises out here and I thought one of my neighbors was disturbing you."

Steven blinked rapidly, raising his arms in the air and shaking his hands around. "Ah, n-no. I'm sorry t-that was me! I was, uh, trying to convince myself to come in and I just-" Steven sighed heavily catching himself in his rambling. His cheeks tinted pink as he lowered his head. "I'm sorry, darling. I'm rambling."

Steven felt like curling into a ball and dying in a hole. He couldn't contain his stutters seeing a beautiful woman standing there with the softest eyes anyone, really, has ever given him. Most people ignored him but he was just glad that someone was willing to listen to him, even if he had to pay for someone to listen to his problems.

"It's okay, I see that you're nervous but come in and make yourself comfortable. Let me know if you need anything as well before we start." You said, opening the door wider for Steven to come in as you disappeared in the room.

Steven tilted his head back, closing his eyes. "Get it together, mate. This is your therapist, don't make her uncomfortable or anything." He whispered to himself, gathering his courage, and walked inside the room.

Steven felt the weight on his shoulder immediately dropped taking in the sight of the room. There were plants everywhere. Literally on the walls, near the window planes with the vines drooping lowly against the wall to the floor. It was colorful, a mushroom chair? Steven believed it was a chair in front of a comfortable green couch. The rug underneath the black wooden coffee table was a huge sunflower.

Steven smelt floral scents seeing multiple candles lit up around the room. The scent of vanilla with the label on the candles saying bath and body works. He had no clue where you got that candle from since he never heard of a bath and body works. The whole room was just comfortable and relaxing but he realize this was your living room, he worried for a moment that it was an invasion of your privacy coming to your apartment instead of your actual workplace.

"Oh, this is where I do my therapy sessions since I'm a private therapist." You said as if you read his mind coming back to him with two cups of tea in your hands. "Tea?

"Yes, please." Steven nodded, grabbing the mug from your hand. He shakily raised the mug to his lips, blowing against the steam to cool down the tea. His eyes roamed around as he saw you take a seat on the mushroom chair and sit down. "Why do you do your therapy sessions at home? Don't you think it's a bit dangerous with your clients?"

You took a small sip from your tea, raising your eyebrows up with a small chuckle. "I'm not too worried about that. I've been taking lessons in martial arts since I was a child and I still take lessons. I'm a black belt in different forms in martial arts so if someone tries, I can kick their ass."

Steven lightly smiled. "And it must be cheaper than owning an office. . ." He trailed off as his eyes landed on a cat tower with a white, fluffy cat with piercing blue eyes. The cat's tail swung back and forth on the edge of the tower as it stared at Steve. "Cat. Hello." He waved lightly to the cat.

The cat blinked its eyes at Steven. "I hope you don't mind Cleo. She's an emotional support cat, you can pet her if you like." You said, putting your cup on the black coffee table and folding your hands on top of your lap.

"Really? You don't mind if I pet her?" Steven said giddy, placing his mug on the table as well and striding to the cat tower, holding his hand out to Cleo. You shook your head as Cleo rubbed her forehead against his fingers, the smile stretched against his lips. "Did you name her after Cleopatra?"

"No, after Cleo De Nile." You lightly joked but the joke went over Steven's head as he furrowed his brows, petting the cat who closed her eyes in contentment loving the attention she was getting.

Steven felt all the worry and anxiety wash away petting the emotional support cat. He wanted an animal like a cat or dog but he couldn't take of himself well and didn't want to accidentally neglect the animal so he settled for a fish. "Cleo De Nile? I never heard of that name before."

"I was joking, Steven. I did name her after Cleopatra." You said watching the man curiously. You were taken back by how good-looking he was. The rough, brown curls fell over his head messily, slightly falling over his forehead. His tan skin glistened over the fluorescent lights showing the very dark bags underneath his brown eyes.

Your rule was not to fall for any clients because they were here to get the help they needed and to use the skills they gain to help cope with what they were dealing with. Your personal feelings didn't matter under this profession but watching this new client happily pet your cat with such delicate touches, talking to her as if she was a person and just his utter presence allured you. Especially when he called you darling, it made your heart pound.

"Do you like Egyptian history?" His voice suddenly held confidence and happiness, a sudden switch from before as his shoulder relax and he turned around to look at you with wide eyes.

"Yes. I find the concept of God's interesting after since a real one came and formed a group to help stop threats against our world, I've been non-stop researching other ones." You had to stop yourself from rambling because this wasn't about you, this was session was going to be about him but since he was ten minutes early, you could talk about whatever until the time came for the session.

"They're quite fascinating, innit?" Steven was jumping on the balls of his feet, walking to the green chair near the cat tower, and sat down. You nodded and you allowed Steven to rant about Egyptian history. The way he spoke so passionately about the subject, you couldn't help but smile seeing how his eyes would glint happily. Whatever nerves he had before were just gone.

You, at first, thought he was a shy person but he wasn't shy. No one would listen to him and that made him shy away from people because you believed when he did try to be an outspoken person, they would ignore him. You didn't feel bad for him, you felt bad for those people who are missing out on a person who was passionate and honestly funny.

You couldn't help but giggle at his puns while he talked about the history. You knew most of what he was talking about but you allowed your clients to ramble about their passions. You liked seeing how people would light up when they spoke about their passions. "And- oh, wait. I'm sorry, darling. I'm wasting your time." Steven begins to apologize, burying his face in his hands. "I rambled again, didn't I?"

"You did but I enjoyed our talk, now, it's time for our therapy session." You said, tilting your head and crossing your legs across each other.

Steven felt his cheeks tint again in embarrassment. His eyes searched for any signs of annoyance in his ramblings but there was no annoyance, just pure softness that never went away. "O-oh, of course." He cleared his throat, removing his hands from his face. "Um, I've never been to therapy before so I'm not sure how this works? Have you ever been to therapy before-" he stopped himself with wide eyes, frantically shaking his hands in the air. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry-"

"Steven, it's fine. You don't need to apologize." You smiled softly. He relaxed a bit but felt embarrassed again that he was overly apologizing. "I have been to therapy before. How I like to start with new clients is by telling a bit of myself and I tell my new clients that I have been to therapy before. I don't mind sharing this but I witness my mom kill herself in front of me. I suffered from PTSD, dissociation, and depersonalization. I went through therapy for years because of that and it helped."

Steven frowned. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"It's okay but the bottom line of getting the help you need is admitting to yourself that you need help. You're brave enough to admit that you need to be vulnerable with someone and just being here, you're on the journey for healing."

Steven didn't know what it was but your words elevated his attraction toward you. He had to mentally cuss himself for finding any type of attraction towards you. It was inappropriate for him to find you attractive. You were his therapist, this is your job to comfort him, to help him, and guide him. He shouldn't be feeling attraction.

Steven softly smiled at your words. "I'm a bit nervous." He admitted, shifting in his chair as his eyes met your gaze to see how gentle and patient you were being.

"That's okay, with each session, it will get easier."

Steven nodded and hoped it will get easier to be more vulnerable.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Six months have passed and Steven did become more vulnerable and looked forward to each therapy session. He grew more confident with each and every session, comfortable enough to talk about everything and anything that was going on with him.

You also saw how slowly he was growing to get better. Meeting with him every Wednesday for the past four months and watching him get better has been a delight. The bags underneath his eyes slowly decreased and he was resting a bit better with each month, there were still issues to be talked about and healed from but the overall progress made Steven happier.

And with each session, you couldn't help your hammering heart against your rib cage with each discussion, each talk of his or yours hyper fixation. It almost felt just like a talk between friends and Steven did consider you his friend. He knew he paid you to hear his problems but he didn't have many friends, in fact, none at all but he saw you as one.

And perhaps you were starting to see him as one as well. These therapy sessions have become more than just you listening to his mental problems and diagnosing him and also giving him tips and tricks to helping himself when he can't get to you. But the thing was, he has your number and often called you. He just didn't call you for when he was having mental breakdowns.

There were the late-night talks about anything that came to yours and his mind. The daily night calls that made your heart swarm. You looked forward to seeing Steven Grant each Wednesday and the phone calls each night.

"So, how's your niece doing?" Steven questioned, petting Cleo on his lap who happily purred against his lap, rubbing her head against his chest. She wasn't the only one enjoying his company, you were wearing your lazy clothing instead of your professional clothing. Just the simple change in clothing that Steven noticed in the past three weeks you changed into.

"Her first day at Kindergarten started this week. My sister sent me pictures." You beamed, pulling out your phone, and showed him the picture of your niece smiling wide at the camera with the overly huge backpack slung on her back.

Steven smiled staring at the picture. "She's bloody adorable. . ." He trailed off glancing up at you. "Do you ever wish to have children?"

"Oh God no. . .I'm more like the rich, fun aunt. I believe that not everyone is made to be a parent." You pulled your phone away and locked it. "Have you ever thought about children?"

Steven tilted his head as he thought about it. Would he ever have children? Children were a big responsibility and he was already thirty-six without children. There was no shame in having kids and he didn't know if he could take care of another human. "Time to time but I don't think I can take another human."

You purse your lips and nodded. "Yeah, I understand. And the financial stability. . ." You trailed off, glancing over to the clock. "Oh, it's therapy time."

For some reason, Steven couldn't concentrate. His eyes would fall on your lips as you talked. The way the plumpness of it would form words as you occasionally wet your lips. How the white, round glasses were perched on your nose. He liked how carefree you were around him, that made you more attractive to him but it was mental for him to feel attraction towards his therapist. The low-cut black tank top that showed your cleavage perfectly, his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed thickly trying to make it too obvious he was staring at your breast. God, how could he focus when you were wearing the smallest grey shorts that barely covered your ass.

Steven didn't like to be a pervert but his dark eyes would follow your movements around the apartment and stare at the plush of your thighs. He wondered how soft they would be around his head, clenching around him as you panted above him and called him a good boy. Praising his actions as his tongue swiftly lapped around your puffy clit. He felt terrible for thinking the most sexual thoughts about you but fuck, he wants to bury his head between your pretty thick thighs.

Steven could say he was a thigh person, he wasn't as much before but after meeting you and meeting with you every Wednesday, his kink has grown more. He could imagine the padding of his fingers roaming around the inner of your thighs to help stimulate your orgasm further. No, this was wrong. He shouldn't think about his therapist, his friend like this.

You were only supposed to be helping him. Suppose to guide him on the journey of healing. Yet here he was gazing upon you with uttermost affection and lust, his eyes dilating as he couldn't take his eyes off of you. He felt his cock twitch in his jeans, his cheeks flushed peering his eyes away from you.

This wasn't appropriate. Well, he crossed that line when he call you every night to hear the softness and sweetness lacing in your voice. He would call you just to hear it as he imagined laying next to you. Steven often went far imagined laying between your thighs as he cuddled them. Imagining his mouth around your plump breast, littering the delicate skin with hickeys.  He crossed the line and crossed it further as he was growing an erection.

"Steven?" You called out.

Steven hummed out nervously staring back at you, fidgeting his fingers around as he covered his arms over his lap. "Yes, love?" He asked nervously, hoping he didn't get caught.

"I was calling your name a few times and you didn't answer. . .are you okay?" Your voice laced with concern as your head tilted gazing upon the man who refused to make eye contact. It only furthers your concern as you leaned your body down, resting your arms on your lap. "Steven?"

Steven glanced over at you. The viewing of your breast propped onto of your arms, he felt his cock harden from the sight, inhaling a deep breath. "I'm. . I'm quite alright. Peachy, love." He shudder out a response giving you a quick smile before he glanced away again.

Steven was always an oddball to you. That was something you liked about him but seeing him just as nervous as he was six months ago worried you a lot. You scooted your chair closer as your fingers brushed against his hand. He inhaled a sharp breath, focusing himself to look at you. The line between your brows evidently showed how worried you were for him. "Are you sure you're okay?" You softly questioned, rubbing the padding of your fingers against his rough, scarred hands.

Steven nodded frantically. "Mhm, I just- I think I need tea to calm me down." He muttered out a response trying to bore his eyes only onto your face but it was hard to not look down when the view of your breast and thighs were in front of him.

"Okay, I'll make you some tea." The warm, welcoming smile you always gave him made his heart swell as you got up. His eyes bore onto your frame as you walked over to the kitchen. His eyes were trained on the way your thighs would rub against each other as you walked.

Steven hated how a small crush on his therapist turned out to be more of a problem than he thought it would be. Here he was with a hard cock wanting you to fuck him where he was sitting. It wasn't right to fall for the person who he paid for to help with his problems. It was fucking mental that he did something like this but yet here he was, daydreaming of all the possibilities of what he could do between your thighs.

"Steven?" You called out.

Steven turned his head towards you, arching an eyebrow and seeing your awkward smile. "Yes, darling?" He said.

"My tea bags are on the top cupboard and I was hoping that you could grab them for me. Last time I stood on a chair to get something from the cupboard, I broke my leg." You lightly joked, he knew because he was there and dragged you to the hospital, frantically stressing out because you broke your leg in front of him.

Steven paused on the memory of your broken leg. He would have to stand up to get the tea bags for you. That meant you would see his erection. His eyes slightly widened as he froze in his seat. "We-We don't have to make tea. I think I'm fine."

You arched an eyebrow at the flustered man who was too jittery. "If you don't get it for me, I will stand on a chair and you will have to drag me to the hospital again."

Steven hated how his therapist pulled the guilt trip card. Abuse of your power he could say because you were also giving him pleading eyes, glancing over to the same chair you broke your leg on. The power you had on him, you had to know the effect you had on the man because why else would you use those eyes on him. You had to know that he would do anything for you. It was sick how Steven was acting, he was your client, he shouldn't act how he is.

"Yeah, right. We don't want that again, now do we?" Steven muttered out, standing up as he shuffled to the kitchen. You stood there with the mugs on the sink, not moving. He knew where the tea bags were, the cupboard was directly above you where they were at. "Are you going to move?" He asked, he sounded ruder than he intended to but he knew if he went behind you, you would feel his hard dick against you.

"I'm preparing. You can just get it from behind me Steven." You said nonchalantly, glancing up at him through your glasses as you rose an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're fine?"

Steven closed his eyes for a moment as his heart hammered. "I'm fine, love. I can get it from behind." He muttered loudly as he awkwardly shuffled behind trying to stay a distance away from you but his chest brushed against your back. He reached over your head to grabbed the tea bags but he stumbled over his footing as his body pressed against your back.

Your hands gripped the edge of the counter as you froze. Steven froze as well. His hard cock brushed against the plump of your ass. His heart dropped as his eyes grew wide staring at the back of you. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry-" Steven abruptly stopped as he felt the plush of your ass press against him.

Steven nervously gulp and stared at you. You tilted your head to look at him. You should be disgusted with him. Telling him to back off as you kicked the shit out of him but you stared at him with half-lidded eyes clouded with lust. "God, I've been thinking about wanting to fuck you, Steven but I had my rule to not fall for my clients. But. . .I wanted you since I saw you. You finally grew the balls to make a move, after all, that time of mind fucking me?"

Steven's jaw slacked. "You. . .You knew?" His cheeks heated up as you chuckled, nodding and turning around to face him. "And you never said anything?"

You shrugged as your lips tugged into a smirk. "I'm a therapist. I can break someone's mind without touching them. So, I know when someone wants to fuck me with a mere glance." You pressed your hand against his chest as you backed him against the island kitchen counter. "You want to fuck me. Don't you, Steven?"

Steven couldn't believe that you knew that he wanted to fuck you but didn't say anything about it. He nodded shyly as his cheeks burned brighter under his tan skin. "Use your words, baby." You urged, lifting your lips against his. Gently grazing his soft lips as his eyes fluttered from the mere touches of you.

"I want to fuck you, please let me fuck you," Steven begged, gazing down at you as your hand roamed from his chest to his cheek. The padding of your fingers intricately trailed along his prominent jawline as they weaved through his thick brown curls. Something about men begging made your cunt pool with heat.

"Patience. Remember we learned that?" You hummed sickly with a head tilt as you pressed a light kiss against his lips. He leaned in for more, craving your lips against his but you moved your head back, shaking your head. "Huh, I guess you didn't learn patience enough through our sessions. Must I teach you again?"

Steven nodded. "Words, sweetheart. I want to hear words coming out of your mouth for the rest of the night, Steven. You'll get your reward if you obey, do I make myself clear?" You remarked. Your voice laced with harshness, it was something completely different from what Steven was used to. What happened to his sweet, soft therapist who was kind and tender with him?

"Yes," Steven replied. He was eager, this shouldn't be happening. You knew this shouldn't be happening. You made a vow that you wouldn't fuck any of your clients. That any relationship with them was inappropriate but Steven Grant was different. Perhaps, the returned attraction came when you heard his heavy breaths through the phone on the nightly calls, imagining his heavy pants underneath you as you rode his overly sensitive cock into oblivion.

But he was like an addiction. Watching him slouch back against the same chair in front of you, seeing his thick thighs spread in front of you. His eyes lighting up with excitement as his lips formed in the most intricate ways. It was hard not to imagine his lips on your pussy. This addiction to your client went far, you dreamt about Steven most nights as you fall asleep with him on the phone. Sometimes, you wondered if he heard your whimpers during the night from the sexual dreams you had of him.

This was wrong. But the addiction of looking forward to each therapy session gave you a high. A euphoric high you haven't felt in so long. He intoxicated you in ways that captured you and completely destroyed you. You promised yourself that you would fall for a client but here you were leaning your lips against his as you roughly pulled him by his curls.

Steven grasp your waist as his nose bumped against yours. The kiss was sloppy, much needed as you fell victim to his addictive touches. He pushed you back to the counter as his hands roamed from your waist to your face. His hands were too big to fit on your face entirely, part of it rested on your neck as he rubbed the back of your neck with his fingers.

The plumpness of your lips moving against his made him groan as he rutted his hips against yours. Blunt fingernails scraping against his scalp made his cock twitch harder. Steven felt his skin burn as he relish in the thought of finally kissing you after months of imagining it. But he wanted more, you weren't the only one with the addiction. He was addicted to you, addicted to everything you did.

You pulled your head back hearing Steven's heavy breaths. Your eyes dilated gazing up at Steven seeing his eyes bore at you, half-lidded with that euphoric state. "Please, I want more. Please, let me taste you." He begged, falling to his knees as his hands grasped around the flesh of your thighs, squeezing.

"I don't know. . .have you been a good boy?" You asked, curling your lips into a fake pout. "Because we were trying to work on your patience and yet here you are begging to taste me. Do you truly think you deserve to taste me?"

Steven nodded frantically as his cheeks turned pink. He hated how you knew that he loved being praised. This power you were using of looking inside of his mind was terrifying yet he couldn't get enough of it. "I do. I've been patiently waiting to taste you for months, shouldn't I deserve an award?"

You hummed as the corner of your lips tugged into a small smirk. "That's dedication. Perhaps you do deserve to taste me then." You parted your lips open, the slick aroused and dampen your panties. Just the sight of Steven on his knees, begging was enough to make you crumble. His pleading, brown eyes as his brown curls fell messily over his forehead. The way he tilted his head back as he let out a small whimper when you pressed a small kiss against his forehead.

"Thank you." Steven said, shuffling closer to your parted legs. He brought his large palms on the outer part of your thighs. His hands roamed on the side of your thigh creating a tingling sensation. The callous of his hands made you shudder as he stared at your body with admiration, his tongue dragged across his bottom lip as he glanced back at you with permission. "May I taste you now?"

"Yes, you deserve it." You replied.

Steven eagerly brought his hands to your small grey shorts. He imagined all the times when he fucked you in those grey shorts but next time, he will get that chance. His fingers curled around the hem of your shorts and panties, pulling them down swiftly to your ankles. You stepped out of the fabrics as you kicked them aside.

Steven brought his eyes to your pussy. His breath hitched staring in awe. The slick dripped against your inner thigh. His eyes fluttered at the sight as he brought his lips to the inner of your thighs. The warm breath fanned against your delicate skin, shivering from his breath you gazed down at him. "Come on, sweetheart. Don't make me wait forever."

"And here I thought I was the impatient one," Steven said but you rose an eyebrow at him. Who knew he was a bratty submissive. Feeling your intense gaze, his shoulders slumped as he shrinks from your eyes boring onto him. "I'm sorry." He meekly replied.

"Another snarky comment and you won't feel my lips on your cock."

Steven's eyes widened as he shook his head. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again." His heartbeat against his chest, he was too excited for this. His tongue dragged against the slick that coated your inner thighs. His teeth scraped against the delicate skin as his lips formed around the skin, sucking harshly.

You sucked in a sharp breath, hissing through your teeth. His hands roamed on the outer part of your thighs. His tongue wasn't in you yet but just from his mere sucking made your walls flutter around nothing. "Steven." You breathlessly whispered as he twirled his tongue around your inner thighs, trailing litters of dark hues of purples on your inner thigh.

Your fingers curled around his thick curls as you felt his teeth leave crescent markings. Steven may be submissive but he still wanted people to know that you belonged to him. "Just taste me already." You snapped feeling impatient with his languid licks around your thighs, denying the simple pleasure of tasting of your pussy.

Steven bit back a remark. He knew if he commented on your impatient behavior again, you would walk away from him as a punishment. "As you wish." He said against your thigh, pressing a light kiss on it. He moved his head away from your thighs and stared at your glistening puffy lips. Your slick aroused further from his hickeys on you, he tried his best not smirk as he gazed up at you with half-lidded eyes. "You have a pretty pussy, doctor."

Your thighs clenched from his nickname. "Then have a taste of it." You murmured, weaving your fingers through his curls, tugging at the ends pulling his mouth forward to your clit.

Steven's hand roamed to your ass, firmly grabbing it to hold you still. He brought his lips against your clit sucking it. You let out a small yelp from the sensitivity. He chuckled against your clit, sending vibrations against you causing further stimulation. "Don't laugh."

Steven immediately shut up. His tongue swiped around your folds causing you to moan and buckle your hips against his face. His tongue flicked around your pussy, capturing the essence of your pussy. His nose nudged against your slick as he took inhaled deeply. He was utterly intoxicated by you. He brought one of his hands to your cunt, he teased you with the padding of his forefinger. His fingers moved to rub your expose slit roughly.

You rutted your hips against his mouth as he lapped his tongue around your puffy clit. You threw your head back, moaning loudly above him. His fingers pressed inside of your fluttering walls feeling your walls pull him in as he moved his fingers further in. The stretch made you gasp. "Steven, fuck. I can't wait for your cock inside of me."

Steven's lips tugged into a smirk. He couldn't wait to feel your pussy around him. His tongue lashed side to side against your clit. Your parted lips fell to meek whimpers as your thighs violently shook. With his other hand, he trailed it down underneath your thigh, grasping the meat of it as he propped it on his shoulder, further accessing your pussy.

You cried out his name as he added his middle finger feeling your walls pulsate rapidly around his fingers. Steven peered at you through his lashes feeling your hands curled tightly around his brown curls as you rutted your hips against his mouth. "Take what's yours, darling," Steven said. He felt an ache in his jaw but he didn't care, fuck, he waited for this sight with each therapy session. He wasn't going to stop tasting you.

You rolled your eyes back in absolute bliss from his tongue rapidly flickering around your puffy clit as his fingers curled inside of your pussy. He knows what he's doing what his fingers. You imagined his fingers inside of your pussy for months with all those times he would accidentally brush his fingers against your arms. His fingers were better than what you imagined.

Your legs wobbled from ecstasy. Steven was being too greedy. Too eager. You narrowed your eyes at him as you pulled his head away from your pussy. His chin was covered in his own drool along with your slick. The line between his brows showed how confused he was. "I wasn't done." He whined trying to shuffle closer to you but you narrowed your eyes more. He shrink from the gaze as he closed his mouth.

"Go to your chair. I'll be back." You threw his head back as you stepped away from him.

Steven scrambled up as he walked over to his usual chair confused. He hoped he didn't offend you in any way. He hoped he didn't cause any harm. Million of thoughts flooded his brain as he sat down, shaking his leg up and down waiting for you. But once you came back, his thoughts disappeared into nothing as he saw two sets of fabric in your hands.

Restraints? Blindfolds?

Steven shifted in his spot as you walked over to him, bowing from your waist as you went with eye level to him. He could see the reflection of himself staring back at him through your glasses but for some reason, he saw his reflection shift when he didn't move. He blinked and the movement stop. It was just in his imagination.

"Are you going to blindfold me?" Steven asked almost too eager as he sat up straighter.

"Yes but strip for me but leave your boxers on, sweetheart." You said as a small smirk formed on your lips seeing Steven's wide eyes.

"Strip?" He gulped as he anxiously brought his fingers to the hem of his shirt.

"Yes, or else you want to talk about your problems which I'm happy to do." You said, standing up straight and shrugging your shoulders.

"No!" Steven winced at how loudly he shouted. He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "No, I will do what you ask, doctor."

"Good boy." His cheeks heated up as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the couch. He glanced over to the cat tower hoping Cleo wasn't watching but thankfully, she was somewhere else. He lifted his hips as he unbuckled his belt and took his jeans off. He complied with what you asked for and left his black boxers on. "Hmm, you can listen, unlike our sessions where you valiantly ignored my suggestions."

Steven felt embarrassed about that. For the first three weeks, he did ignore your suggestions but it was because he forgot about them. It wasn't his fault. "I'm sorry, doctor." He muttered out an apology as he sat back down on the chair.

You tsk, stepping closer to him. "Well, don't worry. You'll get your punishment." You leaned your body close to his. Your breast brushed against his shoulder as you placed his arms behind the chair. Intricately, you tied the rope around his wrist.

"What did I do wrong?" Steven asked, furrowing his brows.

"Taking a long time to fuck me so I will return the favor." You cheekily replied, standing straight as you grasp the other fabric holding out near to his eyes. "Oh, and you don't get to see what I'm going to do to you. Let's call it sensory touches."

Steven was sick to choose his therapist to fall in love with. He didn't know what was worse, you using therapy terminology for sexual acts or him loving the idea of you dominating him. The fabric-covered his eyes as he couldn't see anything but darkness. You tied the fabric around his head tightly, stepping away once you were done you stared at the sight of Steven.

Steven looked like a mess. He shifted under the tight ropes, feeling it burn against his wrist with each movement, grazing roughly around his skin. His head was tilted back as his puffy lips were captured between his teeth. His thick thighs were spread as his hard cock strained against his boxers.

Your walls clenched around nothing, feeling the arousal of your slick fall against your inner thigh. You were quiet as you admired the man in front of you. He was your patient trying to get better but here you were having him blindfolded and restrained to a chair. You licked your lips gazing at him, silently walking up to him.

Steven perked up at your silent movements. You crawled on top of Steven, your legs rested between one of his thighs. He furrowed his brows at what you were doing. He hated how he couldn't see anything but he had to rely on his other senses. "I want to touch you," Steven said, shifting underneath you restraining against the ropes around his wrist.

"I'm only allowed to touch you. Rely on your other sensors." You replied, fully sitting on his lap, straddling his thigh. Steven's breath hitched in his throat feeling the slick arousal spread across his bare thigh.

"Fuck, please. Doctor, I want to touch you. I want to watch you cum on my thigh. Please." Steven pleaded trying to shift his head to nudge the blindfold off but your fingers curled around his neck, forcing his head up.

"Be a good boy and sit there." You replied. Steven whimpered as you rutted your hips against his bare thigh stimulating your needy clit. A soft moan left your parted lips but Steven groaned feeling your wetness against him. You brought your lips against the shell of his ears, whispering "Just sit there and feel me."

Your teeth scraped against his neck as you clamped them down against his sensitive skin, sucking harshly. Steven moaned as your tongue lapped languidly around his delicate skin. Steven couldn't see anything but his senses were heightened, his cock twitched from your warm breath fanning against his neck as your mouth sucked his neck. With his sight completely covered, he could enjoy the intricate movements of your mouth.

The way your hips rutted needy and greedily against his bare thigh. He moved his wrist around the restraints as he threw his head back, whimpering and heavy breathing. Broken moans fell from your lips against his neck. The simple vibrations sent him to absolute bliss as your fingers curled roughly around his neck.

Your slender fingers clamped around his neck causing Steven to let out a low moan as you squeezed harshly. Your walls fluttered from the stimulation of using Steven's thigh for your pleasure. Watching him sitting there, like a good boy sent you to an absolute bliss. You knew he would love being praised and loved to comply, it was terrible to use your psychological analysis against him but he was enjoying it.

"Please, let me see you, doctor." Steven pleaded, panting through his parted lips. "I'm being a good boy. I'm complying."

"Patience." You replied letting out small cries of pleasure as your clit brushed roughly against his thigh. Your thighs shook violently against his as your walls pulsated coming closer to your release.

"I need to see you cum." Steven begged but it fell on death ears as you shut him up with your lips sucking his neck. His cock strained against his boxers waiting for you to touch him. Your walls fluttered as the bubble formed in your stomach. Your body spasmed, shaking from your release as you cummed over his thighs.

The slick pooled down his thigh, falling to the chair. Steven whined as he let out a huff. "I wanted to see you cum." He muttered angrily.

"Oh? You're acting bratty again. I was going to be kind enough to ride you at this moment but since you want to act like a brat, your punishment is extended." You said, getting up from thigh.

Steven's eyes widened behind the blindfolds hearing you walk away from him. "Wait, no. Please! I'm sorry." He cried out, moving against the restraints. "Darling, I'm sorry."

You didn't say anything as your fingers curled around a candle. Walking over to Steven, your other hand curled around the hem of his boxers. Pulling it down, your mouth slightly slacked seeing his size as his cock stood up. The pinkish, swollen tip leaked with pre-cum, drooling against the underside of his forking veins. You shamelessly licked your lips, you didn't know how he was going to fit anywhere in you but you liked a challenge.

"Darling?" Steven called out nervously, shuddering from his exposed cock. He felt a small relief but he could only feel true relief if you were on him. You tilted the hot liquid onto his tan skin, watching it trickle down his chest. He jolted from the sudden pain as he let out a hiss, the liquid darkening and hardening against his skin leaving red lines that stretched across his broad chest. "Oh god."

Steven lifted his hips from the pain. You saw how his cock harden from the pain. You rose an eyebrow at this. "Likes pain as well. Noted." You held the candle above his body teasingly as you brought your other hand and brushed your fingers against his tip.

His cock twitched from the mere touch as he groaned, throwing his head back. "Please, touch me. Suck me. Fuck me. Anything, doctor." He pleaded, rutted his hips against your touch.

You chuckled darkly, shaking your head. "Just because you took the pain like a big boy." Your fingers curled around the tip, capturing his slick around your hands, and twisted your hand lightly. You tilted the candle again as the hot wax trickled from the edge, falling against his burned marks.

Steven hissed through his clenched teeth as he rutted his hips against your hips. "Fuck, more. Please."

You rose your eyebrows but a smirk appeared on your lips. Your thumb massage his sensitive tip, feeling his cock twitch under your hands as you continued to twist your hands in the right way he needed the most. You tilted your head over his tip, you pursed your lips to get and spat. The drool fell from your bruised lips to his swollen tip. He arched his back from the liquid hitting his tip as you captured the essence in your hands, smearing your spit around his cock.

You poured the hot wax against his other pectoral. The dribble of the liquid fell hurriedly into hot streaks of red lines along his chest against his nipple. Steven grunted in pain, capturing his teeth between his lips as he moaned. "I don't think I can hold on any longer." He admitted as his cock violently twitched as the liquid dribbled down to the curve of his abs. "Please, let me cum."

"No." You pulled your hand away from his twitching length as he let out whimpers from the loss of contact. You stood up and placed the candle on the coffee table. You gazed at Steven. He was a panting mess as he arched his back off the chair. The red markings of the hot wax presented itself as the hues of purples littered around his neck. His hair was completely messy falling everywhere as the blindfold covered his vision.

"I've been good, please, darling. I want to see you. I want to feel you." Steven pleaded but you didn't reply, you fell between his spread thighs. He felt your shoulders brush against his legs as your hands roamed on his hands. Intricately tracing the curving of his abs, you wondered how he was ripped when he admitted to doing nothing to gain them. You were suspicious of Steven because from the admitted blackout days, you worried that there was someone else inside of him.

You didn't get that part of the therapy but you knew something was off. But now wasn't the time to think of that. "You'll feel me soon. Just endure the punishment for a bit longer." The purring in your voice brought that addictive high that Steven couldn't get enough of.

Steven nodded. You brushed your lips against his swollen tip. He hated to be edged on and to wait for you but he didn't want this to end. Languidly, you trailed your lips around his tip capturing his slick and your spit. He let out a shuddering breath, slouching against the chair as he sighed heavily in contentment. He thickly swallowed feeling your tongue curl around his tip, hitting the sensitive spot.

"Oh, fuck, love." Steven cried out, desperate to see you on your knees in front of him. Your tongue swirled around his forking veins on the spot that desperately needed attention. Meek whimpers left his parted lips. Spit blubbered against the corner of your lips, drooling down your chin as you took more of him in.

Steven gasped from the way your mouth was taking him. You shuffled your thighs together to try to stimulate the ache between your thighs but you were eager to ride him as much as he was eager to take it. Your chest tightened as he rutted his hips into your mouth, he was so needy to feel all of you around him. It was pathetic. Your cheeks hallowed as you lashed your tongue around his cock.

Steven didn't care he was moaning. He was enjoying this. Enjoying knowing that his therapist was on your knees sucking his cock. As much as he loves to be submissive, he likes the dominant parts to come out once in a while.

You knew if you continued to bob your head up and down on his cock, he would release soon. Pulling your head back, the silver string of drool and pre-cum glistened under the fluorescent lights. The string of drool wisps broke against your skin, dripping down your chin as you stood up. Steven whimpered at the loss of contact. "Please, stop teasing me. I need you."

"Don't worry, you suffered your punishment far enough." You cooed, bringing your lips against his as your fingers went behind his blindfold and untied it. Steven blinked away the darkness as he stared at you watching you pull away from him.

Steven was happy to see you finally after the torture he was put through. His eyes fluttered half-lidded gazing at the sight of you. You still wore your black tank top that showed your cupped breast perfectly and those glasses were still perched on the bridge of your nose. "Then please, fuck me." Steven sighed out.

"I will." You crawled on top of his lap, straddling his thighs as your walls teased the tip of his cock. Steven tilted his head as he lurched his hips up but you lifted your hips up with a raised eyebrow. "Patience."

"Yes, I know," Steven muttered as he slumped back down, waiting for you. Your glistening, slick folds brushed against his tip teasingly. His eyes narrowed at you, not in a condescending way but in a begging way. Deciding you had enough teasing the poor man, your dripping folds lowered down. Sliding down against his thick cock, you let out a low moan as Steven groaned, throwing his head against your shoulder.

Your fingers roamed against the muscular contours of his chest as if you were memorizing his body. Trailing the padding of your fingers against the red markings of the hot wax. Steven let out a shuddering breath from your feathered touches. You shamelessly rutted your hips on his cock feeling it nudge your cervix. He rutted his hips against yours to meet your pace.

Steven clamped his mouth against your shoulder as his wrist rubbed together. He hated these damn restraints because he wanted to touch you everywhere. He wanted to hold you close to him but you denied him of his fantasies. Your breast was pressed against his chest as your thighs rubbed against his waist. His prominent walls dragged along your inner walls so perfectly.

Steven knew he crossed many lines before but nothing like this before. This friendship bloomed from therapy sessions to you fucking him on the very chair that he sat on every Wednesday. He knew this was terribly wrong. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but he didn't care.

Steven had his red flags but this was the most prominent one. He used his resources of relief all on you now, was there need for therapy when he had you now?

Steven rutted his hips sloppily against yours. "You've been a good boy for me, Steven." You whined out, your forehead falling against his shoulder feeling his tongue lash around your shoulder as you moved your hips down his cock watching the slick glisten along his forking veins.

"I. . .I love you, doctor." Steven shyly admitted as he panted. The slapping of skin filled the air as broken moans filled out from the both of you.

Your cheeks heated up from his confession, feeling your walls pulsated around his cock. "I love you too, Steven." You admitted. You weren't supposed to fall in love with your clients but Steven Grant took your breath away and you fell for him. Hard.

Steven's cock frantically went in and out of you as you let out shaking breaths. He thrusted harshly against your cervix. As you brought the padding of your thumb against your clit. You cried out, wishing it was Steven but one day, it will be his fingers on your puffy clit again. The added stimulation enlightened your senses as you sloppily rubbed your clit. "Oh fuck." Steven cried out as your walls fluttered around him.

Sobs escaped your lips as your orgasm rippled through. Your thighs shook violently around his thighs as Steven bottomed out inside of you, letting out a low groan feeling your pulsating cunt help him through his release. You languidly moved your hips around him, Steven let out a hiss from the overstimulation as he whimpered. "It's too much." He said.

Teasingly, you rutted your hips up and down watching Steven's eyes roll back to his head as he bit his bottom lip trying to hold back his cries. You let out a small snicker and pulled yourself off of him. The mixture of cum, fell against your thighs. Your face heated as you reached over Steven and untied his wrist.

Steven brought his hands together, rubbing his wrist as he stared at you. "Are you okay, love?" He whispered.

You smiled genuinely as you nodded. He was always worried about others. It was something that you admired. "Yes, are you?" You glanced down to the red streaks on his chest that trailed down to his curved abs.

Steven nodded. "Yes but. . ." He stood up and placed his hands softly against your hips. "I need to shower but before that. . .did you mean what you said that you loved me? What about your rule that you told me about?"

You shrugged letting out a soft chuckle. "Screw the rule. I fell in love with someone who loves me for me. Not because I help you through you problems but sees me. I love you, Steven. Cleo loves you. I'd throw all my therapy rules away for you."

Steven felt a huge grin spread on his lips as he massaged your hips. "I'd throw all my Egyptian knowledge for you."

You gasped, gazing at him. "You love me that much?"

"If the multiverse was real, I would love you in every universe. And in every universe, I would give up everything to love you." Steven replied, brushing his forehead against yours as his eyes bore into yours. Your heart hammered as you gazed back at him with a huge smile. "These therapy sessions should happen more often though."

"You are scheduled for every Wednesday." You reminded him as you stood on your tippy-toes and pressed a small kiss to his lips.

"And I cant wait for the next Wednesday."

[pigeonwit]

I AM ASKING YOU ABOUT RACEVID (or RAVEY, or whatever it is the kids call it wbwbwb) !!!!

(i got one nice ask about it so i'm digging out this half-a-year old draft to talk about my personal racevid hcs that i cringe-cultured myself out of posting, take it away pidge-from-six-months-ago)

i honestly wasn't expecting this much racevid support. on my old newsies blog way back i made posts about these guys and they typically only got like. 3 notes? granted my writing wasn't as good so maybe i'm persuading people. or maybe the newsies fandom is finally waking up to the wonderful possibilities of multishipping. one of the two.

part two of the racevid analysis!! this one is less of an analysis of how they behave in the musical and more my own personal headcanons of their relationship and how it develops. part one (a very unpolished and rambley analysis of racevid in uksies) is here if anyone's curious!

right. so. it's act 2. jack publicly denounced and betrayed the strike. race leaves with davey, both in shame over being betrayed by (to race) the brother he grew up with and trusted more than anyone and (to davey) the guy he didn't even want to trust in the first place, but still put his faith in despite knowing better. the next day jack comes BACK, asking them both to trust him again. what would you do.

i'm of the firm belief that race only came back to the strike because davey agreed to come back, too. i don't think either of them necessarily FORGAVE jack in that moment - it'd only been a day and while we as the audience understand why jack (a frightened seventeen year old with little to no prospects or power) did what he did, we can also understand why it stung so deeply for them to be betrayed by someone they put so much faith in. especially davey - like i said in part 1, i believe davey has feelings for jack in every universe, and for him to not only trust, but fall in love with someone despite knowing better, only for it to come back and bite him (the way he KNEW it would but convinced himself otherwise) would be a humiliation that runs deep for him. but davey believes in doing the right thing, and as much as jack hurt him, he still trusts him to do what's right, too. that's another one of those strange mirrored-similarities race and davey have - davey loves so intensely that he still has faith in the good of a person, even when he believes that that person isn't good to him. race loves so intensely that if you burn the bridge you have with him, he will do everything he can to keep it from getting rebuilt.

i know both of them would forgive jack eventually. for davey, jack's family. you fight with family, you disagree, you throw things and scream in each other's faces, but you do that because you love each other and want what's best. so as long as jack's willing to put the work in, davey is, too, and he can still be mad at jack and not willing to forgive him yet while still loving him. i think race is a different story, though, especially JPB's race, who i think has a lot more grit, anger and seriousness to him than other race's. race has been with jack for years, they've grown together, talked together, maybe he hasn't always been perfect, but if jack was so scared, why he couldn't he just talk to him?! i personally view race as a kid who was very overlooked by his family (i saw that 'race has like 12 cousins in brooklyn' thing someone said and ran with it, so in my head he comes from a BIIIIG big catholic family) and so he takes it quite personally when people ignore him. in his head, jack not trusting him enough with his fears is saying he doesn't trust race the way race trusts him, doesn't see him as family the way race sees him like a brother. and i think race's response to this (in his own mentally ill 'i love you so much that i hate you for it' way) is to push him away. he's looking for reasons to resent jack here - and i think a big one of those reasons is davey.

for context; like i said in part one, my personal Racevid Story is that after the rally failure, race - being person who's used to the temporary nature of pleasure, and so grabs hold of any vice he can without thinking (gambling, smoking, fighting, etc) - would've impulsively kissed davey as a sort of 'please stay, i need help, please don't leave me in this mess alone' gesture. but i think davey is so used to shoving down his feelings and pretending he's fine that he would've gotten freaked out by the sudden notion that maybe race is attracted to him. he's barely got a handle on his feelings for jack, he's alone and scared and has no one to talk to, and now race is here, KISSING him, and it's all wonderful and confusing and TERRIFYING and he can't deal with it right now. so i think they would've just stopped, stared at each other, mumbled some kind of excuse and let themselves be dragged to their own responsibilities - race to the newsies, davey to his family, and neither of them having the nerve to actually understand what they want, because that would mean being vulnerable enough to want something.

i think jack coming back and davey immediately trusting him (despite knowing better) is going to make race angry for two reasons; first of all, like i said two paragraphs ago (fuck i'm rambling so much here) i think race would be looking for reasons to resent jack for what he did (again, coming from a very teenagery 'i love you so much i hate you for it' place), and second, i think it's also a source of jealousy for him. davey BARELY knew jack and still gave him everything. davey had no reason to trust any of them and he still did. davey could've thrown race away immediately, but he still made the effort to see him, so how dare jack cast that aside in favour of a daydream? (again, this isn't a jack criticism - this is just how i think race views the situation.) race (to me) is not used to people seeing him, certainly not used to people making an EFFORT to see him and take him seriously, and davey gave him all of that without him even needing to ask for it - and now race has messed that up and davey isn't talking to him, which he probably deserves, but jack messed up too!! why does JACK get to keep being seen? doesn't race deserve it, too? (again, i really think race's family overlooked him a lot and that's why he tries so hard to be such a commanding presence and keep peoples attention, because it hurts so much when other people are allowed attention so freely and he isn't.)

i don't buy in to davey being a mom-friend who wants to solve all his friends problems for them. i did shit like that when i was younger, and honestly i still do, and i just don't think that after the strike and all that he learned about himself, davey would fall into assuming that the only value he has is to fix things for everyone else (i mean, i do still think davey would have some issues to work out after the strike, hence 'run boy run', but not this specific issue). but i do think davey is very protective over the people he loves, and i think this rift between jack and race is affecting him, too. i think maybe the topic of jack comes up, and he tries getting race to talk more about it. when race refuses to talk, davey - finally - brings up the kiss.

this is entering fanfiction territory so im not gonna try to write out dialogue here or anything. i think itd be another example of them fumbling for a way to reach one another. neither one is used to speaking the others language, so to speak. i think race would feel especially humiliated given the turbulent situation, and i think davey would be struggling so much to find the 'right' words that he'd become defensive and panicky. and i think that would all bubble up into davey just blurting out something of the lines of 'i trust you'. and i think that'd be the thing that connects for them. not just being liked, but being seen for all their flaws and difficulties and being trusted anyways. i think that'd be the trigger for davey bullying race into finally talking to jack about what happened, race coming back to the strike, and the two of them entering a slow, tentative relationship that, as their dynamic in the show does, grows much steadier with time.

[nerdylilpeebee]

it gives me hope to see someone who doesn't let themselves be swayed by the romanticism of rooting for an underdog (or more accurately, a very carefully crafted image of an underdog) and actually bothers to check facts

i see so much support for gaza among my peers and you blog makes me feel a little less alone... a little less insane

someone else sees it

Yeah, I honestly see the support for Gaza (really, Hamas, cuz really supporting Gaza would require being against what Hamas is doing and wanting Hamas to be removed from power, which is the opposite of what pro Palestine people are doing) EVERYWHERE. Making it confusing that some of them seem to think they're being censored, which I'm honestly convinced is a manipulation tactic, but anyway...

I have even seen people, some of them mutuals, who I know are good people reblog and spread the constant lies and propaganda every day. That's part of why I'm pushing so hard into it. Because the propaganda is working. It is making good people decide the terrorists are the right people to support because innocent people are dying in direct response to the terrorists' actions. It makes them ignore that Hamas openly admits that this is on purpose, that they intend for the innocent people of Gaza to suffer and die. It makes it so that Hamas, who is willing to lie about how many have suffered and even attach faces of even their own victims to propaganda pieces saying "Oh look at what Israel did," and even FORCE THEIR OWN HOSTAGES to wave and smile at them as they're released in order to paint the picture that Israel is the villain, can make people believe they are the good guys despite killing innocent people and admitting to using Gaza as a human shield.

They have MASTERED the art of propaganda. And I refuse to let it go un-called-out. I refuse to let people on the internet literally helping spread these lies by making their own up, or manipulating information (by leaving out a detail, changing a detail, straight up just lying that something like tunnels near the ocean is impossible despite it being 100% possible, etc) go un-called-out.

Tho, I will have to be honest, I may force myself to slow down a bit now. I had a bit of a stress response at work today. I doubt it was just about this stuff, but it no doubt added to it as I am very passionate about this subject. And I really don't wanna repeat this stress response. Health issues is not something I want to come about simply because I am stressed.

So I may have to back off a bit. But I am still 100% on the side of "both sides have shitty things they've done, but Hamas is literally the one who started this, killed countless innocents, and kidnapped a LOT of innocent people, including literal infants (something there is no precedent for, I might add. No one's ever really taken literal babies hostage like this before), and I will not condemn Israel for retaliating. I will, however, push for peace as regardless it is a fucking tragedy that people are dying and it NEEDS to stop. And it really can't until Hamas is removed. They keep breaking the ceasefires, all throughout the history of this region. Long-standing peace is not possible with them in power."

That got very long-winded. XD sorry.

[angelsaxis]

13 were shot. Ten are dead and three have non fatal wounds. The white supremacists who commit these atrocities are always radicalized online now, but everyone and their mother will pretend like this was an isolated event that has no bearing on the prevalence of white supremacy in society and no connection to online radicalization.

Even the way people are radicalized is approached in an extreme way that I'm convinced is meant to purposely frustrate any attempts to do something about white radicalization online. Everyone thinks a white kid just suddenly dives into these mysterious white supremacist circles and comes out a little bit later willing to murder Black people because of the color of our skin.

It starts with All those 4chan sites and subreddits and that do that """ironic evil""", all those jokes from edgelords where apparently it's okay to dehumanize Black and Jewish people as long as they're being """ironic""" about it. Entire TV shows where Black people and Jews' pain is just a punchline or a gag. These people are desensitized to everything we've suffered through and the real kicker is that lots of y'all on here or twitter or Facebook or fucking Pinterest refuse to just admit that the edgelord humor, the """ironic""" shit, all lead to white supremacist enclaves online where white boys are then exposed to shit like the great replacement and incited to act violently because they believe that Black people Jewish people immigrants and everyone who dares not to be white and Christian is coming to steal their land steal their babies and murder them in their beds.

Because the amount of planning and foresight it takes to attack and murder Black people who live hours away from you is something that's created online. It starts with the dehumanization of Black people for shits and giggles. He attacked Black people in a grocery store in a food desert, knowing that the long term effects wouldn't just be the the deaths of those community members, but also the fear of Black people across the country to even get out of our fucking homes. I'm seeing Black mutuals on here talking about how they don't want to leave their homes until things die down. We're going to try and create nets of solidarity and those attempts are going to be frustrated any number of ways and the shooter knows this because he spent probably a third of his life just going through online treasure troves describing all the ways he could make Black people suffer.

And the worst part is that with the sheer complexity and efficiency of the surveillance state, none of those eyes will be on those white supremacist safe havens. They'll fucking be on Black people regardless of what we're saying, regardless of whether what we're trying to do is politically motivated or not. We're the ones who are silenced and shut down and ignored and actively censored in favor of upholding white supremacy in all its forms. Remember when Black bloggers on here were accused of being Russian spies and had their accounts deactivated, but neo Nazis on this site were and still are able to exist with no problem? Are any of you aware of the sheer number of times a Black blogger is deactivated on this site alone for not being nice in how they talk about racism, but the white supremacists who harass and stalk them are allowed to have as many victims as they want? It's like this on all social media. Twitter, Facebook, probably even fucking Pinterest. It's not difficult to trace or find where white boys go to become raging terrorists but all the energy by the corporations and the state and normal fucking people online is dedicated to silencing Black people in any way possible.

[camouflagedlove]

i think casual players (like my friends) hate Emma and she doesn't deserve it. she didn't owe feelings or a relationship to Jacob. should she have continued to flirt with him after? no but I do believe that's part of her facade and insecurities, she wants people to like her and that's how jacob liked her. I want ppl to understand she wasn't a bad person. the dare she was given was either kiss her ex (which we know he would've tried to use as evidence they should get back together) or kiss her friends crush: either way I feel she'd have gotten heat. I feel her choice was hard but made sense. she made the kiss a Little Much to get Jacob to get it but in reality it was just a game and she didn't do it to hurt Abi.

I also think of her in a deep and autistic way

i feel like she is afraid of people not liking her, and puts on a performance (canon) so if ppl do dislike her it doesn't feel as personal. her 'flirting' with jacob during the game was, to me, a defense. she's uncomfortable with the energy so she needs him to like her therefore act how he likes (which is flirty). Jacob put her in a situation where she was somehow rude for not returning his feelings the same or having the same wishes so she performed for him. is that the best thing to do? no, but can you blame her? trapped at camp with her fresh ex who keeps hounding her and moping. I can see her being like "well I just have to be nice✨️ to him so he let's the night be comfortable"

disclaimer: I don't dislike Jacob nor think He's a Bad character but I do think it's important to recognize yeah he has the right to be upset, to have feelings but it's also unfair of him to keep going after her after she made her position clear. he's ignoring her no. like he can be sad but he needs to recognize how he comes off trying to 'convince' her. and the fact that he was willing to literally trap her at camp just to 'convince' her is weird and to me makes me understand Emma's stance more.

anyways I'm an emma defender idc that she kinda caused drama with the truth or dare kiss, she was put in an unfair position and she didn't Make the dare. should she have made the comment about Nick being a good kisser? maybe not but I feel like she meant it like "ooh abi he's good /teasing" and not "nah nah a boo boo I just kissed your crush" abi had every right to get upset but I do feel intentions are important and Emma's intentions weren't to hurt Abi they were to avoid kissing Jacob (which feels obvious to me bc when he started gloating she seemed to make her decision)

that all being said a lot of this is interpretation based if you disagree with anything that's fine but be nice about it cause I don't mind discussion but I dont like arguing

[sapphire-weapon]

(1) Hey there! I've been totally engrossed in your meta analyses on RE. You've nailed everything I've felt about the Aeon ship but couldn't express. It's tough to share views on Aeon nowadays without backlash. Their dynamic always puzzled me, like I get the trauma bonding and that they care abt each other, but come on, she keeps being part of the world Leon swore to destroy and that's not enough of a red flag for him? (cont)

(2) With the RE4 remake, it looks like they're trying to change their whole relationship, and I'm here for it. It's obvious he's rejecting her, but people blindly try to convince themselves they're a thing. They will look for the dumbest or overanalyze things to prove Aeon is alive and well, but will ignore the devs' clear attempts to show Leon flirting with Ashley. Like it's right there. There's dialogue and everything lol (3) I've got a few questions for you, if that's okay. There are still some things about Ada I can't figure out (though I guess that's what makes her interesting), and I'd love to hear your thoughts. 1. Why does Leon let Ada take the sample? Do you think she knew he wouldn't stop her?

Just for clarity's sake -- you said later that this was about Remake, so we're talking about the Amber, not the Sample.

Leon lets Ada take it for two reasons:

He trusts Luis. And if Luis and Ada had an arrangement, then Leon trusts that Ada's not going to sell the Amber to someone who shouldn't have their hands on it.

He knows what happened the last time he got between Ada and her mission objective: she almost fucking died. Would've died if not for something breaking her fall.

I don't know if Ada knew that Leon wouldn't stop her, but I'd be willing to bet that that was the reason why she namedropped Luis in the first place. She saw the "for Luis" scene; she probably banked on Leon trusting Luis more than he distrusted her.

And she was right.

2. In SW, Ada shows concern for Leon, like her voice softening when she talks about him. She's clearly into him sexually, but do you think she'd want something more than just a physical relationship? (cont.) (4) Could this be tied to her self-perception, like maybe she's pursuing Leon to prove something to herself, maybe a sign of insecurity?

Still talking about Remake, just to be clear.

I'mma be real wit u homie: I don't see what you see here. I've played through SW a few times, but I never noticed her voice softening for him in this way. I saw her speaking at a lower volume because she's talking to herself, but that's because... she was talking to herself.

So the answer is no and no. None of Ada's sense of self is wrapped up in Leon. At all. She has some sentimental attachment to him because Ada gets sentimental about people and things (for reference, see: Ada being sincerely hurt when Wesker rejects her in chapter 3, also Ada honoring Luis's memory and dying wishes for the remainder of SW after he dies), but she has no real concern for him otherwise. He's just a Thing that she wants, and Ada goes after what she wants.

3. What future do you see for Aeon? How could their relationship evolve if it's not just about tension or hints of a physical relationship like in the OG timeline? Do you think Ada will have some character growth, especially in RE6? They tried so hard to show Ada had a heart, and Aeon seemed almost like a couple, but that didnt go anywhere... again lol. (cont.)

Still talking about Remake.

In order:

There is no future for Aeon.

Right now, there is no evolution possible for their relationship, because Ada isn't there yet as a character. She needs to be someone that Leon can actually trust, and she isn't. He explicitly pushes her away in 4 for that reason. Her character change in 4 is a good start, but that's all it is. Ada still has a lot of independent growing to do in order for Leon to even tolerate her, and I honestly don't know when they could possibly fit that into the events of the series. They would have to create whole-ass new games that take place in between numbered titles just for the Remake timeline, and I really just don't see them doing that.

I've said this over and over again, but: we need to see what RE5make does. It doesn't sound like Wesker's just going to let her betrayal go this time like he did in OG, and there's a real possibility that RE5make won't kill him off. It is impossible to speculate on RE6make right now, and I wish people would stop asking me to.

Don't forget that RE6 OG ends with Leon rejecting Ada, too. There's no point to building up Leon and Ada's relationship just to have him reject her again. He's already rejected her now in 4. We're past that. Moving on. There's a real opportunity for Capcom to do something completely new with Ada's character now that they've wrapped up the Aeon melodrama early, so let's just... let them.

(5) Do you think Leon being on his own in Infinite Darkness and Death Island, with no Ada references, means CAPCOM is rethinking the ship in the OG timeline? Could CAPCOM's preference for keeping characters single be part of this (if thats even true and not another random news some fans made up)? or maybe they don't know what to do with them?

RE6 ends with Leon rejecting Ada. It's already been rethought. It's over. It's done. It's been decided. The Aeon arc has concluded. The focus of Leon's character going into the end of his story is now his relationship with the government -- which is where it should've been all along.

If they go back on that rejection in RE9, that's bad storytelling. And I actually trust the current writing staff at Capcom to know that and stick to the script. But who knows, they could always make a fool of me in the end.

I also don't know where "Capcom prefers the characters to stay single" even comes from. I've never seen a source, never read a quote, never been linked to an interview. I'm pretty sure it's shit that fans made up because they're salty their ship isn't canon yet lmao

Thanks a ton for your insights. They've really helped me get more out of the games and improve my own analysis. I'll definitely support you on Kofi! 💖

<3333333333 I don't have a functioning Ko-Fi currently, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.

[rataticaisdreaming]

thanks to @rambling-prince-thoughts i'm now willing to share a full analysis on remus (the whole gang is here!). i wish my own personal headcanons and things i've found in canon can help people understand how complex remus actually is.

cw for religious commentary, bible quotes and remus being remus.

disclaimer: i'm catholic. this is not, in any way, meant to impose my religion. remus holds way too many references to the bible for me to not mention it. if this isn't for you, it's 100% okay to turn away from this post. don't leave hate when you can just ignore it. the reason behind saying i'm catholic is to show famders they can have faith and still kin remus the way i do! there's nothing to feel guilty about, intrusive thoughts just make you human 💚

so to quote our favorite trash rat: "let's start from the beginning!"

this will follow the story of cain and abel from genesis 4, which remus mentions in dwit. i'll color code who represents who according to both canon (the twins) and personal headcanon (c! thomas):

cain - remus / abel - roman / god - c! thomas

in 4 genesis 4:4-5 we see that one day, after working hard on their respective jobs, cain and abel present their creations to god. he looks proud at abel's work, but he doesn't with cain's. this makes cain angry. let me remind you green is the color of envy. we know thomas favored roman over remus' creativity during dwit, we see remus get upset over everyone constantly thinking of his work as useless or unwanted.

later, in 4 genesis 4:6-7, god questions cain's anger and tells him that only if he does the right thing, he will be accepted. if he doesn't, sin will try to consume him and cain needs to rule over it. i love the choice of words here: right thing, accepted and rule. everyone was shutting remus up, telling him how awful he was and how bad the things he said were. if only remus could be more like his brother, then maybe he could be accepted.

i have a whole headcanon on the "rule over it" part. i think remus just went insane. you see, during the split, remus got all the "bad" parts of creativity. not only that, but just like roman got thomas' ego, remus got the intrusive thoughts. the way virgil has his own anxiety. i'm convinced remus has his own intrusive thoughts.

at one point, the intrusive thoughts became so loud, he had no other option but to embrace them. in the genesis, god wants cain to resist against sin. remus in this case didn't resist, he took control over his thoughts instead of letting them consume him. he clearly knows what having intrusive thoughts feels like and that hurt him and scarred him real bad. he is okay now with being called demented, he ruled over the intrusive thoughts.

you can see there are moments where remus seems uncomfortable when they talk about intrusive thoughts. his role is creativity, but he is cursed with intrusive thoughts. talking from personal experience, i can see his distress. the screams, loud laughs and stimming. all in an attempt to shut up those thoughts, but sometimes they become too much and they have to get out. the worst part is that you blurt out horrible things like cannibalism and murder. people around you don't understand and they think you mean it. virgil was very right and very wrong when he asked: "but are they opinions that matter?"

yes, the intrusive thought itself doesn't matter. but it's not okay to imply remus' words and opinions don't matter just because he blurts out these things. he matters as much as roman, his brother deals with being the ego and pride. remus has his own issues too that should not be ignored or ruled out as "not important".

immediately after that, in 4 genesis 4:8-12, cain kills abel. god condemns cain to a life where his work will never bear fruit and he will be a restless wanderer. in the "5 years later" video, remus says: "did you know how bored i was before you decided to confront me? all i did was walk around and look for stuff in your head to fuck with!". which implies remus was free to wander around the mindscape, but couldn't be listened to by thomas until he wanted to. which happens in dwit since the thoughts became too much to ignore.

here's something really cool. in 4 genesis 4:14-15. cain says to god: "from your face i shall be hidden. i shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." god replies: “not so! if anyone kills cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” which in the context of what we saw in dwit, means that remus was okay to stay in the dark, but anyone who dares to go against the duke's work will suffer the consequences. we know this because the more the others tried to force him out, the more powerful he became.

(there seems to be an islamic interpretation which says that the devil whispered to cain: "hit abel's head with a stone and kill him", which i found very interesting considering roman took a morning star to the head and the whisper in thomas' head. but i know nothing about it, so i can't confirm it's true.)

i don't believe in patton or janus keeping him locked away, because c! thomas has more power than people give him credit for. remus explicitly says thomas made him the way he is, logan points out it was him who decided to split creativity: "at a young age, you filed away products of your imagination as either welcome or forbidden." it is during clbg that roman says to thomas: "you have to give us permission first..." and virgil says "you are the boss, thomas. any information you want to know, you can know. you just have to be open to hearing it."

imo, thomas doesn't know anything about himself and the things he can do. the sides are there to guide him, but i don't think any side has the power to keep something hidden from thomas if thomas himself wants to learn. the reason the sides were able to out janus was because thomas gave his permission, but in dwit the sides didn't want remus to show himself. it was thomas who allowed him in.

let's go re-watch dwit for the fifth time this week:

when he sings: “and since you haven’t puked yet, we'll know they're wrong when they call you sick.” i think it's a nice metaphor to say from the very start that “since you haven’t acted on these thoughts, they'll see there's nothing wrong with you”. he also sings about people not liking him, which makes me wonder about past experiences he had with the sides. he can also be talking about how a lot of people dislike intrusive thoughts and dark creativity.

“good and bad is all made-up nonsense!” makes sense even for me! i don't believe in heaven or hell as physical places, but rather states of self when we are alive. when you're a good person to yourself and others, you can be at peace, but you'll have a harder time if you're bad. good and bad are not extremes, they are a gray mix. just because something is seen as good or bad doesn't mean it is in some cases. intrusive thoughts are seen as bad, but they can be fun! maybe you got a meme pop into your head and started laughing? or how about being in a conversation and an intrusive thought finishes the other person's sentence and you can't keep a straight face because of how stupid it sounds?

the tree of good and evil from the genesis (also known as the tree of knowledge/tree of life) is known for the belief that indulging in pleasure is immoral, but that belief often comes from people who are not religious. good and evil actually represent “the everything”, adam and eve gained knowledge instead of just pleasure. the knowledge to see what's right and wrong, a moral compass and tons of wisdom. for example, without the fruit they would never be able to punish criminals. this tree also represents the mixture of good and evil that creates mortality. janus offering a morsel (fruit) from the tree to thomas or any side means: do not put good and evil into separate boxes, embrace your humanity, what makes you human and your life will be easier.

janus representing the snake is actually genius because he is deceit and no one will trust deceit, but janus represents someone who wants to show the truth. so to make him the lord of the lies is truly evil, mr. sanders. remus represents the truth, but he is also given an evil role. they both are there to give thomas the fruit that will allow him to be more honest and direct dealing with his issues, so that he no longer deceives himself about the ugliness within him. in that scene, while janus seems to be talking to remus, remus sings janus' part. to me that can be interpreted as: janus and i had a talk and here's how we help thomas.

remus talks about how every mortal sins and dies at some point, but they try to deny it and ignore it. remus saying he will still be there even if thomas is alone can represent how no matter how much we isolate ourselves from sin, it will always be there as part of the human psyche. might as well accept that fact now.

remus asks him: "why do you want to stifle your own creativity?" which can perfectly mean: "why are you denying and ignoring a part of yourself that can be good?" dark creativity can be amazing! take a look at your favorite horror films and games, tragic novels and dramas. they all use a perfect combination of remus and roman's creativity. without one of them, we would never have these things.

laughing at your own intrusive thoughts can be a sign of you hating those thoughts, but being so used to them you don't care anymore. remus obviously knows what it's like to hate them and try and force them out, lot of good that did him! he realized repression is horrible. you don't need to act on these thoughts, you can get them out by writing them down in a journal or saying them out loud in private. trust me, it feels way better than keeping them inside.

i really like remus recognizing he is not scary, but instead, people are scared of him. if anyone needs to hear this: you're not a freak or a monster for having intrusive thoughts or any dark interest, or both! remus is just trying to be himself and deal with a very human thing a lot of us can relate to. thats why he makes me feel like i'm not alone in this <3

i think remus threatening logan to shut up is because he thought logan would attempt to convince thomas to repress his thoughts the same way patton did. i really like that logan continues to teach amazing lessons on intrusive thoughts, why the duke is important and we can see remus listening to him without interrupting. until the last part where he is just a brat.

just remus saying there is no rhyme or reason to what he does is enough for people to remember intrusive thoughts are mostly meaningless, like virgil said. they just happen. don't take them too seriously or think too deeply about them.

i want to point out that remus becomes distressed when logan says his contributions are intrusive thoughts instead of a different creativity. like… remus just couldn’t convince anyone, not even logan, of his job. no wonder he acts like a brat in wtit. the one side who was closest to understanding him, ended up being just like the rest of them. stubborn and repressing his own feelings, that seems to be a recurring theme with our boys.

remus is able to be gentle, we can see that when he listens to virgil at the end of dwit. that genuine smile and eye contact (which he avoids for most of the episode), the calm chuckles compared to the loud laughter from before and sweet tone of his voice… it's clear that whatever happened between virgil and the dark sides, remus doesn't think ill of him. i could almost believe he misses him. i think that whatever happened, it was between virgil and janus. remus had nothing to do with it and virgil knows that. in the "happy fifth anniversary" celebration, virgil looks amused at remus. i think he misses him too.

in wtit, i absolutely adore how remus uses real traps for thomas to represent how intrusive thoughts can trap you in an endless loop of hurting. i love that he can just give thomas the thoughts without any effort, but he uses his creativity to have fun with his other job and be extra dramatic. the fact he can attack other sides, summon beings like real people or monsters AND control them, that makes me wonder how powerful he truly is. it can be a unique aspect of the twins and i would love to see more of that in future videos.

remus is not scary. i've seen scary people and remus is not it (it's what he represents that scares others). he is silly and playful, extra and dare i say, more dramatic than roman. there's a lot of curiosity from him that i believe comes from his constant intrusive thoughts, he also seems to be knowledgeable in specific topics. he is very genuine in the way he expresses himself, not really hiding anything. he is so unique and eager to spend time with the sides.

he also acts in a way that reminds me of how loneliness can affect someone when they finally interact with others. his poor ability to read the room and how others feel, the little control he has over how loud his voice can get, the constant need for attention. all signs of being neurodivergent spending a long time by himself.

remus tries to teach a lesson to logan about how he can't do everything by himself. sadly, remus is the only side around for some reason (i guess the others had a ddr tournament) and logan refuses to acknowledge remus as a potential helper. instead, he keeps seeing him as an antagonist in thomas’ day, which he is. i think remus could potentially be against thomas after being denied acceptance by the others. that's why i would love to see remus become orange’s ally in his way to create chaos. in dwit he does say he wants to wreak havoc. the dance scene can be seen as another battle between sides, logan winning because logic can be a powerful tool against the irrationality of intrusive thoughts. but since it's logan who is being affected by orange’s influence, i wonder what that will do to logan’s power over remus.

remus tried to be accepted before and he was refused the opportunity, he tried a last time in dwit and failed once again. i think he is fed up at this point, that's why he feels like such a threat in wtit. he doesn't seem to care that he is creativity anymore, instead leaning more into his role as intrusive thoughts and using his creative power to make those stronger. he looks PISSED when logan tries to talk to him at the end of wtit. he clearly doesn't trust him nor believes logan is being honest.

remus says “you're going to pretend that i don't exist, so i'll pretend you don't exist.” and logan goes about how everyone has their own role, but still cannot see remus as creativity and remus is just so mad at him and the others for that. the sides think they're acknowledging remus by accepting him as intrusive thoughts, when in reality, they're denying his main role. it's the same thing that happened with virgil, in denying virgil as helpful and thinking he was only anxiety (which is perceived as a bad thing), they saw the effects of no anxiety at all and how much virgil protected thomas.

i really like remus getting interested in logan when orange shows himself. i see it as remus finally seeing a flawed logan, which can allow sympathy since remus is extremely flawed. logan showed him he is repressing something and who is remus but an advocate against repression?

roman and remus’ relationship is extremely interesting, putting all the cain and abel parallels aside, i think they love each other the way siblings do. they banter and annoy each other to no end. roman says he doesn't like him at the end of dwit, but it's so obvious he is in denial. he doesn't want to admit someone like remus is his twin and that he is fond of him despite his weirdness. i want remus to close roman’s arc, i want remus to help roman understand that it's okay to not be perfect and still be a good creativity. if anyone can help roman feel less insecure about himself, it's his twin.

roman says remus shows him everything he doesn't want to be. remus is flawed and happy to be seen as such. roman struggles so much to keep up the mask of perfection and when he sees how happy his brother is being flawed, he hates it. the little things that make roman insecure, remus embraces them and roman can learn so much from him. they likely share a room, they spend time together or at least, remus whispers into his ear waaay too much. if you go back to episodes before dwit, you'll see how defensive roman gets over things he said that others disapproved off, clearly being influenced by his twin. i think the realization roman talks about it's not only remus being the one to influence him, but also that remus represents more than he thought he did.

i think we can all agree with roman that sometimes we see ourselves in the mirror and we see the parts that makes us flawed, we hate them and want to turn away from them instead of accepting them. remus makes people uncomfortable because the truth is, most of us see something in him that we try to deny. be it the intrusive thoughts, the dark creativity… or something as simple as having an annoying laugh. we will always be able to love ourselves and quicky find something that we hate. not because it hurts us, but sometimes… because others have hurt us for being this way. i'm autistic and i know how harsh the world can be to people who are different, but remus made me feel seen. he made me feel valid for being me! he always makes me laugh and most importantly, he makes me feel safe <3

the most beautiful thing about remus is how freely he is himself. people will try to stop you from being who you are at heart, they will call you a freak and try to shut you down. if you take one thing from remus (even if you don't like him or sympathize with him) is that true happiness can be found in allowing yourself to be who you are. without a care in the world, because the only person who can judge you is yourself. no one else. you know yourself better than anyone else, so be happy and go feral if you want. as long as you're living true to yourself and staying safe 💛

go ahead and eat that second cookie, you earned it 🍪✨ if you don't like cookies, go grab something you enjoy. reward yourself for staying strong against this mess we call world. thank you for reading! i hope you have a wonderful day/night ⛅

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiii m! read s2 ep2 and i LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! <3 i actually am so relieved that steve reader friend divorce era is over......idk why but friendship breakups make me sadder than actual romantic breakups, partly because friendships themselves are so selfless and sort of by design the least selfish, or self interested you can be, with the benefit just being "we get to hang out!". i'm fascinated that steve forgave her so quickly as well, maybe because he's in a vulnerable spot right now (???), but i really did enjoy that reader was willing to make amends instead of sort of just digging an emotional hole for herself and exaccerbating the problem. i'm excited to see if she'll be as proactive down the line when things get more serious between them.

the way you handle nancy is interesting. i'm glad you don't shy away from reader being jealous of nancy and the attention of johnathan and steve and being pretty and rich, which omg, can drive full grown adults crazy, so why wouldn't a teen girl feel it, but also see nancy as like a full person? i also really appreciate your/reader's willingness to see both sides of the conflict, at least so far. a lot of people, from what i've seen, seem to view that night as a very traumatic night for steve where he got his heart broken, and that's true! it is! but it's also a night where nancy got blackout drunk from survivor's guilt that everyone around her told her to ignore in favour of just forgetting everything she experienced. that would make anyone upset! she probably does feel like her relationship is bs if it's main priority is not allowing her best friend's parents to find peace and move on! anyways, what i'm saying is that it's nice to have a realistic yet emotionally mature main character, and one who is so because they themselves are emotional and very in tune and self aware of them and others, instead of for just like, the plot vaguely, or because of modern sensibilities, no it's just an established and consistent part of her character, which is hard to do and it's so cool that you do it so well near constantly!

but i really was cheesing a lot like it just felt like a classic early 2000s CW show which is the high i'm constantly chasing. one tree hill season 1 episode i think 13 college party was very much the vibe i was getting. i should have been wearing cheetah print and leather and listening to the strokes as my friends convinced me that local basketball player was really the only guy who ~gets~ me. "i'll be" by edwin mccain plays in the background as we make eyecontact from across the room. you set the vibe, is what i'm trying to say.

billy was weirdo and creep and i'm happy he was acknowledged as such!!! not kidding when he came up to the reader i was also uncomfortable and it just had that very deeply horrible frat guy energy that makes every person subjected to it feel very objectified, and i think it's even more interesting that this is, from what i remember, one of the first time someone's shown outright interest in her, so i can imagine that that makes it even worse. i also sort of like the set up of johnathan defending her and steve holding him back, feels very much a great physical example of their position so far, with both johnathan playing a larger role in her life, as well as maybe signalling that johnathan's role as her protector, friend, confidant, all that is now passing onto steve's "hands", as steve's quite literally holding him. idk if that's too much i just had fun! and steve's final thoughts. my god. what an oblivious young man. the immediate jealousy and awe he feels.....his willingness to forgive....her promise to him as he confesses........both very moving and also amazed he hasn't realised his own feelings yet and excited that it will take him longer to do so. them making the promise together especially was so good, and such a good parallel to the one she and johnathan made in s1, and i'm excited to see if steve and r are able to uphold it better than johnathan was and how it'll serve to highlight the differences in their relationship.

very lengthy so my apologies, have a nice day and looking forward to ur next chapter!

hi angel !!

u touched on something SO BIG and i loooove discussing it: steve forgave reader so easily. and YES it was a bit ??? but later itll make sense. overall weve seen that steve just so genuinely trusts readers intentions with him, he never doubts her honesty and hes been pulled towards her since day 1, so of course he immediately was like “oh yeah we can be bffs again <3”. HOWEVER ,,,, this will play a huuuge role later (next chapter i believe). we’ll get more insight and steves vulnerability that night also def helped

and nancy !!! yes !!! i had to rewatch her scene with steve in the library a million times and i just felt horrible for them both. they want to help each other, and as ive said before about jonathan and reader, steve and nancy take care of people in opposite ways and it makes them clash. nancy wants to be proactive, steve wants to be more on the down low and tend to those he has already. hes accepted and moved on, nancy has moved on but hasnt accepted.

and as for the jonathan n steve scene i originally had jonathan holding steve back, but honestly it didnt feel right. jonathan, as much as he sucks sometimes, will ALWAYS be the first to defend y/n. every time he will. steve will too, but jonathan has that spot rn and hed rather die than let her get hurt </3

as for billy ,,,, so incredibly excited to flesh out his dynamic with reader. it wont be romantic in the slightest, but reader will have some insight into billys homelife due to max, and u bet she’ll use it against billy.

and im SO HAPPY the party scene felt real <333 thank u for the lovely asks i adore dissecting my chapters with yall its my <3333

[pan-ic-at-the-homehome]

Hello! I want to say that your works are amazing! I love the little details you include into the stories and how you make the original request even better then it was! I'm also here to request, if you dont mind! Can I request a male reader with vitiligo in his skin and hair with Philza, Techno & Tommy? It's a disease that creates bloches of your skin to lose pigment and color to appear lighter then your original skin color! Or hair color too in this case. You are welcome to ignore/delete this I'd you happen to be busy, and one last kudos to your work before I end up typing more then needed lol.

Thank you so much for the kind words and thank you even more for the patience. This isn't as long as i'd like it to be but I'm still getting back into the groove of writing, I hope you like it :}

Philza and Techno x Male Reader with Vitiligo (No pronouns mentioned)

Philza

-I feel like anything that makes you 'different' from the average person is the stuff he likes the most -If you're willing to see past the things that he hates about himself and call him pretty he's just at willing, maybe even more willing, to praise your differences -If anyone says otherwise he can and will beat them.

-The fact that you are two guys makes him even more defensive and protective of you

-He loves clothes that show off a bit of skin -Not hornie, he just likes being able to see the gorgeous markings on your skin if you're comfortable wearing that kind of clothes

-There's probably been times where he mistakes parts of the pattern on your skin as scars when taking just a quick glance at you. -He's seen the people in the DreamSMP and how their scars can look, he's scared that one day the same might happen to you.

-He has children, he probably knows how to do hair and uses that to appreciate your hair if it's not very easy to see the blotches of different color -If you want to dye your hair he'll be a little sad -But he'll make sure you know that your natural hair is nice, but if you're happy expressing yourself he's happy

-Makes sure you almost never feel insecure about your vitiligo -He will always be right there to comfort you if comments from other people or the voices in your hair become too much -So many compliments and praises about how handsome you are and how strong you are for being able to power through

-He loves the days where he can just lay in bed with you and just get a good, long, look at you -It doesn't matter how many times he's done it, he will always be infatuated with how gorgeous you are.

-If you're having trouble sleeping he is willing to stay awake until you fall asleep and softly trace the shapes across your body -He already doesn't usually fall asleep before you, no harm in helping your sleep in the process -And when the two of you wake up he kisses any/all spots of different color on your face

-Good vibes all around

Techno

-He could care less that you have vitiligo -It's not life threatening or contagious so he doesn't really mind it -But once you two get closer, ohoho, he just find everything about you amazing -Especially your cool skin and hair -But he will never admit this stuff

-You get to gently caress his skin when looking for and taking care of any injuries, it's only fair he gets to do the same -It's def just an excuse to get a closer look and all the little details on your skin. Vitiligo or not, he loves it.

-He refuses to spar with you in fear of bruising or hurting you -No matter how much you try to convince him that it's fine he will never try to spar you upon his own will -If he ever does hurt you he refuses to forgive himself for it and tries his best to make sure you don't get any permanent marks

-Unless it's his family he will severely harm anyone who dares to speak bad about you -If it is his family he'll give them a very stern talking to with axe in hand -But usually if this person treats you like you're below them, he will make sure they know that the two of you are high above them

-He doesn't like pda, but if he's feeling extra good or extra protective he will lace a hand with yours -He'll give you the suggestion of playing with his rings and only then will he continue with his plot to trace the shapes on your hand

-"Accidentally" stays up too late just to be able to look at you -He is just infatuated with you, every tiny thing makes him fall more and more in love

-It just gets cuter and cuter the closer you two get

[blazingblorbos]

Okay Genshin 4.1 thoughts dump because if I don't compile my thoughts somewhere I will literally implode. Anyways, spoilers for the Fontaine Archon Quest so far (as of Chapter 4, the Version 4.1 update) under the Read More (a couple paragraphs under, but you catch my drift)

So. Something I have always absolutely adored about Genshin's storytelling is the way it goes about presenting its gods as "Human too"...

At first, it was seen painfully obvious through Ei and her incredibly human response to grief and trauma (a lot of people thought she was being unreasonable, and yeah for a ruler of an entire nation, closing yourself off to the outside world certainly seems - and is - irresponsible. And then... you consider how easily any other normal person would have done the same thing, if not worse, if they had lost nearly everyone they loved in quick succession, while also being personally responsible for a handful of those deaths).

And upon further reflection on the topic, you can see blatant traces of it present in every archon. And I don't just mean their trying to blend into/ further their understanding of humans, human society, and human nature.

I mean, Venti is kinda hedonistic and aloof; Zhongli wasn't always as wise and so intricately-versed in his knowledge about so many things - before the Archon War, he was more of a brute who preferred to solve things head-on (literally) as opposed to thinking things through; Nahida- oh don't even get me started on Nahida. Her self-doubt and insecurity as a result of facing constant beratement and feelings of inferiority to Rukkhadevata; her constant desire to learn more (both for her namesake as the God of Wisdom, to prove herself, and for her own curiosity's sake); her child-like nature (as a result of her research and human observation ofc!!! but still adorable none-the-less; I mean "dook-dook" !?! come on!)...

But now with Furina, oh. I think we've entered a BRAND NEW level and it's part of the reason why I absolutely love her so much.

In classic good-story-telling practice, Genshin achieves all of this through "show-not-tell" and it's world-class ability of characterizing its characters (IN MY OPINION ! I love them so much, okay?). And from the second I MET this girl to the very last line of 4.1's archon quest, it has been made painfully abundant to me that

Furina is just a child.

She has. NO IDEA what she's doing!!! Now, the underlying reasons for this have yet to be seen, and will most likely be tackled in the very next Archon Quest chapter, but if you'll allow me to speculate right now... Knowing that Egeria also conducted trials for citizens who broke the law (meaning she should have also been a God of Justice), I believe whole-heartedly that it was her who built the entire system Furina and Neuvillette are running right now. Meaning, I'm confident Furina has absolutely nothing to do with it. The ONLY (and I think I truly mean ONLY) thing Furina did in the time since she inherited the role was: change the perception of what justice and its deliverance should be into something a lot more akin to a dramatic play, only enacted for people's enjoyment.

Which includes her lack of knowledge on the Oratrice. Furina didn't create it. How could she? She's so utterly ignorant on what it is, how it works, and dare I say what it's truly even for.

The moment I read this statement I convinced myself that it had to have been the previous Hydro Archon. And while I concede that: looking back on the wording of this statement now, it seems like its existence would only be beneficial under someone like Furina's ruling… But, I'm willing to just chalk that up to "Egeria had great future-sight" (or something more along the lines of: she trusted the machine to help keep her in check so false charges were less likely; and it just so happens that its decision making is carrying the court system now under Furina’s rule).

Like many things related to Fontaine's history, it would seem, Egeria being solely responsible for the creation of all these staple facilities and aspects of the nation's inner workings would shed light on why Furina is so unknowing. She had nothing to do with it. And while I'm no envoy from Celestia, so I have no insight as to what the hell happens when a new Archon is born to fill in the void that was left, I think that whatever that process is (IF THERE EVEN IS ONE) went completely awry for Furina. She probably didn't even inherit the Gnosis - ever ! I'm thinking it's stuffed into the Oratrice somehow/somewhere. I'm thinking the "curse" Arlecchino sensed has something to do with that process of inheritance (or... lack thereof) going so wrong.

It’s obvious that Furina is running from something. Ignoring something. Distracting herself from the realities of the world with the “spectacle of the courtroom” (as Dain put it). And it’d be easy to just chalk it up to her being a little bitch with no deeper meaning but I don’t think that’s it.

Genshin doesn’t make it gods “just human”. They spend their time trying to prove that they’re “Human too”.

The underlying reasons for it have to lie in whatever happened when Furina was born. Cursed. Whether it was a curse to end up alone (as per the prophecy), or to never obtain the powers becoming of a god in this world... Whatever happened, it overwhelmed Furina to an unbearable degree, and naturally, like any Human would... she resorted to escapism. She found entertainment in the trials headed at the court room, realized she could make people like her by being this mascot of justice, and upon learning that it's only a matter of time before all of her subjects turn into puddles and she'll be left all alone… she decided to just- NOT think about it!! Who would?! That is a horrifying! revelation.

THAT is why she's so scared to fight - literally anyone!! She doesn’t have the power (and if she does she’s never had to use it).

THAT is why she’s turned out this way - a brat with very little humility, never knowing when to stop the act - because for centuries she’s lived in this little Lala-Land of a bubble denying the inevitable. A fate she was cursed with from the moment she inherited the title of “God”. She wasn’t really given powers, she wasn’t given dominion, and she most certainly hasn’t received instruction, or… ANY!?! HELP!! it seems, in understanding what it means to be an Archon (perhaps even in spite of those other perks she was “supposed” to receive.)

Born to be a god, yet being set up to suffer the loss of your entire people with almost no power to change it? That would fuck anyone up, even an Archon.

And it’s the way that they’ve shown how it’s fucked with Furina that blows my mind.

She’s so disconnected that Arle’s assassination attempt shocked her to her core. She’s a GOD!! Who would try to assassinate her (aside from the Fatui)!? She’s never had to even perceive the notion of being a target of something like that. Stack that on top of her general sense of helplessness in the greater context of what’s happening to her nation, and it makes sense that she broke down crying later that night... :(

Girlie just needs some help </3

[nerdygaymormon]

Don't you think staying in church and trying to change things is just a waste of your time?

As far as what I do inside the church, I see it as trying to increase understanding. Hopefully as understanding increases it will lead to change.

As part of that, I have written to and met with apostles and Seventies. However, I don't kid myself that I have the power to convince them to enact change at the institutional level to be more inclusive of queer lives.

I also do this blog so there's a record of my experience, thoughts & feelings about being a queer member of the LDS Church. Maybe the things I share will help others understand, both now and those in the future.

I am here to help queer Mormons. I help them see they're not alone. I help give voice to their thoughts, feelings, fears, & hopes. I help them recognize they have value despite whatever messages they hear at church. I help them move forward in their faith journey, whether that's in or out of the LDS church.

If you measure what I do solely by did I get the church to change it's doctrines & policies, then I'm absolutely a failure. If you consider a greater number of criteria, then I hope someone could say I make a difference

I think about members of African ancestry who joined this church and remained during the decades prior to the change in 1978 to include them in priesthood & temple blessings. I can shake my fist at the racist attitudes and restrictions in the church and those who implemented and enforced those things while still honoring the choices of Black members who decided to stay or to leave. Their influence led many members to become uncomfortable with the racist teachings and ask for change.

I'm not saying this is my work alone and nor is it my work for my entire life. Many queer people have spoken up and many yet will. Most sojourn in this church for a period of time before moving on to more welcoming spaces where they can be their full authentic selves.

The efforts of this collective of queer people and allies is shaking the church. No longer can we be simply condemned and then ignored. At many devotionals and leadership meetings where they open it up for questions from attendees, people ask about queer people and when will the church change? The homophobic and transphobic restrictions are still in place, but support for these is dimming among the church membership and they're more and more willing to voice their opinions against the way things are now.

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

For the character asks :)

Nikola: 5+21 Helen: 13+19 And because I'm loving me some James at the moment, 12 for James!

Hi!! Thank you!

Nikola

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I have....no idea. I don't have any go-to songs for Nikola.

I suppose it would be I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons, because I've watched a good Teslen fanvid with that song.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Honestly, I like writing him as a little childish/whiny/pouty. Because he is. And I've read fics that just forget/ignore that, so I like making sure I keep that in there. Nikola isn't perfect and that's the appeal.

Again, I don't really write things if I don't like them, but it ties into the above. I never want to write Nikola as this perfect, noble, stand-up guy, because he's not. He was willing to endanger and potentially kill Helen to get what he wanted and I refuse to sweep that under the rug.

Helen

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

♾️

Probably because of Revelations Part 2 and Out of the Blue. And the fact that Helen is immortal.

I actually can't really see her using any, considering how proper she is with writing (especially when Will called her a spelling Nazi). She just wouldn't be into that sort of thing.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

The ones I hate actually made sense though... 😭 (you know, Addison and Wexford and the like, you were supposed to hate the dynamics between them).

I got nothing. Helen's personal relationships (platonic or otherwise) all get a thumbs-up.

(Though, honestly, I hated Helen/Nikola for a while there. 😅)

James

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

My favorite headcanon for James is that he was the one that delivered Ashley. And that he convinced Helen to come back to London for the majority of her pregnancy, so that he could take of her. He loves Helen, of course, but I headcanon that he would also have felt the need to do it because of John. Helen and John's child would be incredibly important to him and it would be an emotional time for him too. Almost as difficult for him as it is for Helen, but it in different ways. And he would be one of the few people Helen would want to deliver her child, especially that child.

And this is James's family, but he feels like an outsider at the same time. An honorary 'uncle', who's going to do his best by them always.

(Yes, that may actually be stuffing a few into one, but I don't care. Lots of James headcanons.)

[ackermansimper]

I ended up LOVING this one and wrote a lot more than I normally do for these song inspired write offs. I may or may not do a part two, depends if anyone wants it and if I have time later down the road

Feel better

Word count: 1.8k (Levi x reader)

Feel better - Penelope Scott

-Summary: Levi doesn't wanna feel better after the way he rejected you. He can't bring himself to let himself be after the tears that were shed from your eyes because of him

Levi leaned in his chair and looked up towards the ceiling with blank eyes. The way he rejected you.. He always knew you had feelings for him and truth be told, he felt the same way. He couldn't bring himself to allow a relationship within his life though. Not with everything going on. Having to be vulnerable and show that side of himself wouldn't exactly be easy for him either.

So despite you both being best friends and practically already lovers, he shot you down. He knew you both were close and had mutual feelings but he was willing to ruin your friendship if it meant not having such a weakness be displayed on him. He just couldn't have a relationship. For many reasons.

He had rejected you badly. He didn't let you down slowly in the slightest and he knew that. He didn't intend for it to be so bad that he'd see you cry for the first time but that's what ended up happening.

"Sorry if it's a bit late Levi" you had said with a small smile on your face. "It's fine. You know I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway" Levi responded rubbing his eye a bit. "Walk with me"

He did as instructed and after a bit you spoke again. "Levi. This might sound a bit abrupt but I'm not gonna beat around the bush." you began, slowing down before coming to a complete stop. "I like you. More than a friend. And if you feel the same way, I was thinking we could-" he suddenly interrupted you for one of the few times ever.

"No." was all he said. "No?" you repeated with a confused face before it turned into a pain-struck face. "Oh.. I see" you said with as much composure as you could. You were about to walk away before he spoke again.

"You're pitiful" he said. You didn't know what he was playing at and decided against finding out. You didn't turn to face him and debated whether just walking away now or not. "The most you'd ever be is a friend. And even that is a bit of a stretch." A bit of a stretch? So we aren't friends now?

"You're also a bit too much for me anyway and can act annoying. A relationship with you would be literal hell. There's no way in fuck that i'd date you and you know that. The fact you came and said all that is-"

"Levi. Shut the fuck up." You said before turning to face him. He was obviously taken aback by the tears wetting your cheeks, revealing why you had been so quiet before. The glare you were giving wasn't helping his surprise either

"Now that I think about it, there's no way in fuck that I'd date you! You're ignorant, cold, and don't even think about how the shit you say and do affect other people! You're just a big selfish asshole and this is why you'll always be lost in life!" you yelled out before turning away and speed walking somewhere. Anywhere. It didn't matter where. Just a place that Levi wasn't in and it'd be fine.

Levi couldn't get away from himself though. He was stuck with himself and that to him was the real hell. A relationship with you wouldn't even come close to it but he knew a relationship would him would just about be hell itself.

So whether he regrets it or not, he'll convince himself he doesn't. Because you deserve better and the world just isn't fit for that. He isn't fit for that. Everyone who loves him dies and he's already accepted that curse.

Later that day, when Levi's paperwork and reports were finally finished and he had no more work to do, he finally laid down on his bed in the shared room of his and Erwin's. He rarely visited it nor laid in the bed. It wasn't a common occurrence for him to be able to do this. As he relaxed his muscles into the soft fabric though, you entered his mind. An image of your normally courageous face with tears, and mad. And at no one but him.

He began to question the things you had yelled out at him in a fit of rage. You both hadn't talked since the incident and he didn't blame you but he never bothered to take into account what you had said. Maybe a bit of it was because he was occupied with work but most of it was just that he didn't wanna accept or think of what you had said.

He was ignorant? Cold? Selfish? Lost? You don't think you wanna be with him either? He doesn't think about how he hurts people? He doesn't. Maybe that's what makes him ignorant. Maybe that's what makes him cold. And selfish. And lost.

He furrowed his eyebrows at the feeling of his eyes watering. It wasn't everyday he cried. Nor was it often. But the more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. Someone loved him. Someone fucking loved him and he knows damn well he loved them too. Yet he rejected and broke her in the process. He was the reason behind her tears.

He was worth something to her yet threw it back in her face with a bunch of insults just to salt the wound. He had his chance but he blew it. He blew it so fucking bad that he can't even think of trying to fix it. Not that he really can though.

At this point he doesn't wanna feel better. The most he could do was think about all the things you'd do together. The times you both would sit shoulder to shoulder while sipping on tea, the times you both would have picnics on your rare free days, the times you both would talk in between training the cadets, the times you both always had a habit of buying something for each other while out. There was so much moments he could think about and he hated it. He hated thinking about the random nights he'd knock at your door after leaving his office and just sleep in your room with the excuse of "Mine and Erwin's room is too far, I'm shit tired." which he knew wasn't true. The way you both would cuddle together under the same sheets and he could wake up from a decent night of sleep.

He led you on. That's probably what you thought. That wasn't his intention though. He enjoyed the lover similar affection he got from you without the official title. Without it meant he didn't have to accept that he's becoming vulnerable. Without it meant that it wouldn't hurt if you died in the hands of a Titan. Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. He knew it didn't matter whether the title was on you both or not, if you died it'd hurt like hell. He loved you and he knew that. But now he's lost you and he knows that.

When he was around you he felt like he was worth something. He felt like he actually earned something. He felt like he had rights to everything when he was with you. Death, life, choice, and even love. He can be stubborn and stuck up though. So instead of listening to his heart, he listened to the distant part of his brain telling him not to do it. To end it before it got too far. He wanted to but he couldn't. And when you confessed that was the breaking point. The point where he had no choice and had to end things.

He can't imagine a love like this again. He doesn't want to. No one's gonna love him like you did. No one's gonna understand or even try to as hard as you did. No one can be like you or devote themselves to him the way you did. And for him to treat you that way...

He wants to rip himself apart. He wants to rip himself to shreds. He wants to hurt himself a million times over the way he hurt you. He wants to take revenge on himself as his final devotion to you. He wants to prove something, anything. But he can't.

It hurts worse than hell. The way he hurt you. The look on your face. The hatred in your voice. He hated the way it hurt. He hated the throbbing pain in his heart when he revisited the memories of the rejection. He hated that he had a heart, he wanted to tear it out his chest and throw it in a bush or something. He wanted to get rid of it and never have these feelings again.

It scared him how much he was afraid of losing you although he already had. He hated how he was such a train wreck and you were probably getting over it already. He didn't wanna get over it.

Cause someone loved him. You loved him. The girl he had gotten the closest to since he joined the survey corps and the girl who had always been there for him since the start. The girl who helped him through his friend's deaths and the girl who never down talked him because of where he came from. The girl he had gotten so comfortable with that he could simply fall asleep in her arms. The girl he knew for years yet could hurt in an instant. You were the girl. The girl who fucking loved him and had that love stomped on and destroyed.

In all his filthy life he never thought he'd find love like this. Yet here you were. And he turned it away. Not only that but he turned it away so harshly that he could never take it back. He fell for a girl he barely knew. And soon that girl he barely knew became the person he knew best and the person who knew him best.

He loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. There was no question about it. No I guess, no maybe, no perhaps. He knew. He always did.

But it didn't matter anymore. Because now you're a far distance from him. You're over there while he's over here. Left to sulk in his regrets and stubbornness.

He doesn't wanna feel better. He can't feel better. No one will ever love him like you did. No one will ever love him again. He doesn't wanna get over you, he can't. All he wants to do is go back to cuddling you in bed. He wants to feel better. But that better is only if you're there.

♥ Thank you for reading ♥