#i'm going through my old drafts

[thespineoftherighteous]

when Andrew is on press duty and has not been offered any sort of incentive to put any energy into it (sports interviews are SO freaking tedious) he's like Travis Scott in that video like "how do your pants not fall down?" *long pause* "belt."

[silverwhittlingknife]

the reason why nu52 Dick is so simultaneously messy and yet boring is because they don't let him be bitchy enough whilst simultaneously making him a little bitch

sdfsdfdsfs I don't totally understand what this means and yet I feel like I agree with the spirit, anon <3

Outsiders 21 - preboot Dick yelling at Bruce my beloved

Yeah, caveat that there's plenty of nu52 Dick stuff that I haven't read and I don't think it's all bad, but also... man, he is not for me. As far I'm concerned, the main good thing that came out of n52/Rebirth is some setups for sad!Dick fanfic. And yeah, "Dick is not bitchy enough" is actually a pretty good summary of my complaints sdfdsfs

The thing is, nu52 Dick has some similarities to preboot Tim, in that he'll sometimes be insincerely fake-cheerful even when actually upset, plus he periodically seems uncomfortable with direct confrontation so instead he lies to avoid confrontation. And mmm I mean, I like these qualities in preboot Tim, so it's not like I think these are terrible traits to have!!

BUT :

1) Preboot Tim has no authority. But preboot Dick does, and it's frustrating to take it away from him in nu52.

There's some post-2011 panel where Dick lies to Batman and is cheery about it, a la Tim bragging to his friends about lying to Batman in Teen Titans, and I had to stare at it for ages trying to figure out why it felt like such a record scratch moment to me.

But it's because there is a huge difference between a presumably independent superhero lying to another superhero vs. a sidekick and his sidekick friends secretly joyriding in Batman's car.

Like, Tim lies to authority figures more-or-less constantly, because he doesn't want to be told what to do, but also because - importantly!! - those authority figures reasonably assume they have authority over him that he has to evade. Of course he tries to avoid direct confrontation with the JLA / Batman / Red Tornado / Starfire - they're not his equals and a direct confrontation would end badly!

Whereas Nightwing lying to Batman feels like putting him in a subordinate position in a way that preboot Dick never is. Preboot Dick always tells Batman off to his face, because preboot Dick cares about being equals and refuses to accept being subordinate. He doesn't sneak around behind Bruce's back - he fights back! If he doesn't agree with Bruce's position, he tries to argue Bruce into his own. He'll do stuff without asking Bruce's permission, but he won't conceal it; he'll make a point of making sure Bruce knows what he did and also that he isn't sorry.

2) Preboot Tim's lying / tendency to be fake with people is a consistent personality trait that's also consistently problematized. nu52 Dick's characterization is wildly all over the map.

In preboot, Tim is a liar and obsessive compartmentalizer, which is both a strength (disguises, sneaking around authority) and a problem (loved ones who are hurt by it). He's self-aware about his lies, periodically resolves to lie less, and generally fails at it.

Tim's consistent enough that you can track this character trait in all his relationships: he lies to his dad. He lies to Batman. He lies to his girlfriends. He refuses to tell Babs his real name for ages for basically no reason. He stalks Dick and then tries to run away from him in his origin story and then tries to avoid telling Dick his name. And this evasiveness consistently causes him problems!! Dick's suspicious of him. Ariana's suspicious of him. His dad is suspicious of him. Young Justice and Steph get annoyed with his secret-keeping. Young Justice want him to take off the mask. Steph wants to know his real name. When she finds out and calls him by his real name, he has a panic attack and literally runs away. When upset, he insists he's fine and fake-smiles at people. In Teen Titans, when Tim's busy being fake-cheerful and Conner is startled to see him there right after his dad died, Tim gets upset and angry at Conner and demands that he not tell anyone about Jack. Fine, Conner says, I guess it's another secret. In AC 3, he's lying to Conner again and Conner accuses him of having an insincere "Starfire voice," which is a hilarious callback to Tim being fake-agreeable-yet-secretly-bitchy at Kory when he first meets her. I feel like I get that the lying is a Tim Character Trait which is sometimes endearing and sometimes less so and which all the people who love him are gonna have different feelings about.

By contrast, nu52 Dick spends a ton of time lying but it's hard for me to model his characterization in the same way? He's sometimes fake and ... sometimes that's totally cool and sometimes people punch him! also, does it say something about him? ehhhhh maybe? no? who can say!! At the end of nu52 Nightwing, he doesn't want to go undercover and Bruce beats him up, but then in Grayson he seems totally on board with his mission and willing to actively lie to everyone, and then in Batman and Robin Eternal he carries out a whole secret mission behind nuTim's back because he thinks nuTim is maybe a spy and is scared (?) of confronting him directly, but also he's so sloppy about it that he gets followed and the bad guys find nuTim's parents. Oopsie! He represents The Heart and is super-caring but also somewhat ditzy with a tendency to leap before he looks, and also he's very very very goodlooking and Grayson would really like you to know that.

You can try to make sense of this character's internal motivations and I have read various enjoyable fanfics that do, but in the comics I don't feel like he's clearly characterized.

3) Dick should be a convincing team leader

I know I kind of talked about this earlier but it bothers me SO MUCH that I have to talk about it again dsfdsfds

Preboot Dick is a natural leader: he seizes control of the feuding personalities in the Fab Five; he does the same thing in the NTT; he stands up to Bruce. He can overrule strong personalities like Pantha and Roy; he can hold his ground against the Outsiders. He doesn't back down and he doesn't quit. He's got instinctive authority, and he's a forceful and aggressive enough leader that he can lead teams even when his teammates are feuding or difficult or arguing with each other. Sometimes he's a little too forceful and it backfires on him, but for the most part, it works!

By contrast, nu52 Dick often comes off as kinda... hapless? He's definitely not a force to be reckoned with.

Like, just to take one small example, in post-Crisis's Red Robin 14, Tim and Damian are fighting and Dick wants them to cut it out, so he throws a batarang at Tim's staff and snaps at him, and the fight stops immediately. By contrast, in nu52's Batman and Robin 10, Tim and Damian are arguing and Dick wants them to cut it out, but nuDick is incapable of confronting anyone over anything so he just sighs about it, passive-aggressive and ineffectual.

And "ineffectual" is too often the vibe I get from n52 Dick in general. You put that man with Pantha, and he'll probably be bemused, but he won't be able to make Pantha do anything, and he wouldn't be able to make Danny Chase do anything, and he can't or won't stand up to Bruce so he has to lie the way Tim does, and he would never have a fistfight with Roy over the proper way to lead a team.

And in a lot of ways this makes sense, because n52 Dick isn't a team leader, because they've deleted the Titans. He's just a guy. He's nice, I guess.

But even though he gets all kinds of excellent woobie plotlines that I'd normally enjoy (an evil organization is stalking him personally! his dad is beating him up and forcing him into becoming a spy! he's losing his memory!) his personality is usually so far off from the character I like that I struggle to get invested.

Because the thing is, Dick's leadership instincts aren't incidental to what I like about him. They're all wrapped up in his outsized sense of personal responsibility and instinctive belief that if anything is going wrong anywhere near him then it is his obligation to handle it and if anything goes wrong then it's his fault if he was involved and also his fault if he wasn't involved and actually if you have ever gotten within five feet of him and unrelatedly something bad happened to you then it's probably his fault and he FAILED. This belief gives Dick a lot of control issues and makes him bitchy sometimes and is not great for his mental health, but it's also very endearing and an outgrowth of how much Dick cares!

Anyway, re:bitchiness, I have similar feelings about various choices in Batgirls and in Tim Drake: Robin and in current Nightwing; like, I don't think any of these stories are bad ipso facto, I don't begrudge anyone who likes them, and I certainly enjoy fluffy fanfic sometimes - I don't always want the same things in transformative fandom that I want in canon.

But in comics, I often want the characters to have a bit of edge, to be cranky and difficult and just... y'know, clearly the kind of people who would choose to be vigilantes. I want them to care enough to be bitchy about it. And I often feel like I'm missing that, post-2011.

[mysecretisme]

When your frenemy saves you from drowning only for you to get caught by the intergalactic cops you were running from...

(A scene from my very first au, how quaint-)

[justalittlebluetiefling]

me every time someone asks me who my favorite Vox Machina character is, without hesitation: Keyleth.

me every time I rewatch the Vox Machina campaign: never shuts up about Scanlan. 

[mellowwillowy]

On hiatus for an indefinite moment.

[snake-snack-stede]

[quickhacked]

finding out someone you've never seen before on this site has you blocked is so funny. what did i do to you specifically

[ripplefields]

this video literally never fails to make me think of mn capn

musical nerds - r0b0-writes

(THIS IS OLD ART I FOUND IN MY DRAFTS)

[keikakudori]

Ever have your muse suddenly revive with all the force and power of getting slapped in the face with a bluefin tuna? Because that's how I feel right now. Aizen has awoken in full power. None of you are safe.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Pausing halfway through reading one of your fics to pop in and say I really love your narration and character voices. It’s not common in fanfic for an author to write in a way that’s layered enough for the reader to gain their own insights and conclusions. Like I’m in the last chapter of therianthropy and there’s the stuff that happens on the same page when there’s dissonance between thoughts and actions or when Karen buys Matt the sympathy muffin and Matt’s mad that that tactic totally works, and there’s also the longer story motifs that must be so hard to tie together when you’re publishing at the same time as actively writing.

The bit that got me to stop is when teenage Matt’s at Fogwell’s. Previously we saw Fogs starting to talk about the little boxing found family and Matt’s all “oh geez I hope he doesn’t start the lecture about sacred boxing fraternity 🙄”. And on its own this was a great scene because it showcased the characterisation of Fogs, Matt and Lisa in a few short paragraphs. Fogs is real passionate about this one thing, Matt’s heard this windbag go on about it a million times and is comfortable enough to be a little bitch, and Lisa’s relaxing for the first time in a /long/ while. And it’s beautiful.

But then. BUT THEN!!!!!!! This *fucking* speech Fogs was about to launch into!!!!!! Is the very thing that made Matt feel genuinely loved for the first time since Jack died!!!!!!!! Nearly ten years!!!!!!!!! And when Matt finds this traumatised teenage soldier that needs reassurance, love and support, he takes her to the the place where that unconditional care was given to him all those years ago and arhgrgahgrhhogohrgohhhh don’t even get me started on kintsugi ok I hope u never stop creating ok ur fics make me wanna howl at the fucking moon

2/2 Sorry my coherency evaporated real quick there. Your stories are also laugh out loud funny

Hello extremely kind ask I have neglected in my ask box for far too long. Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and made me feel more competent than I actually am.

The tough part about fanfiction is that everything y'all get is basically a first draft because, like you said, it's publish-as-you-go and I don't have the chance to go back and rewrite the story to be more cohesive. Like, the act of writing itself means the plot and characters are still developing, and i really rely on editing and second drafts for that in a way that's not super possible with fanfiction. Sometimes the characters just Do Things and i'm like "wha--stop that. why are you. since when do you. why didn't you do that like 100k words ago." and it gives it a very flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants vibe from my perspective.

I am a very big fan of Recycling when it comes to my writing, and i think it makes it seem a little more put-together than it is. Like, I always have big Scenes in my head that exist from the start of the story that I know are going to make an appearance, so I just bury references to them them I need to craft the moments leading up. Or, if I don't have a scene planned and there's something missing, I tend towards trying to tie it back to something that already existed in the story, so there's a little bit more of a common line running through it. Granted, if you do this too much it seems a little kitschy, so I don't always do it, but I'm a firm believe in using what you have to the fullest extent.

If i recall correctly, Fogs' confusing Matt into staying by just sort of talking until he passed out was a Big Scene and I was just planting my chekov's guns like a deeply unqualified gardner who should have been fired a long time ago and never given access to the guns safe. I knew that I wanted Lisa being taken in by Matt to parallel his own recovery from Stick, so it was sort of low-hanging fruit to have Fogs go off on the same rant. I also kind of liked it because I think time does a lot for reframing how we think of things.

Like, when Matt first gets Fogs' speech about Ancient Sumerian Men Beating The Hell Out Of Each Other, he's half starved, half feral, and trying to fling himself back out into the hostile streets of New York because he feels safer alone than he has ever felt with other people. He passes out, wakes up with a blanket over him and Fogs asleep at his desk even when he doesn't have to be. Like you said--it's the first time in a very long time that he's felt safe.

Then, when he's in the future, it's just very casual. It's not really framed as remarkable, and Matt doesn't hold it in his mind as something that glitters. I thought it showed an enormous amount of healing for him to be so comfortable with Fogs that he didn't seem to remember that this was something that once brought him to tears.

And you're also right about Matt bringing her there--it was easy recycling in the sense that i needed to answer the question of "where would he bring this traumatized child he doesn't know how to help" and figured the answer was "probably the place that helped him."

Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and I'm very glad you like my writing

[mattodore]

fell asleep at my desk (!) while in blender working on the poses i need for the edits i want to do for matthias and imani... think i might be a little too absorbed in this edit idea lads

[marvus-xoloto]

I don’t know if you’re taking requests but I just had my sister cut my long hair despite my gut telling me not to and I hate it and I feel so ugly , my hair is my comfort and was wondering if I could get a comfort fic with Mallek reassuring reader they’re not because I’m having a hard time convincing myself, I’ve been crying for like 2 hours now

i am always taking requests! It just takes me a while to write them sometimes lol ;-;

so sorry to hear about your hair <3 I hope this helps even a little bit! also sorry it took so long to post lol. i used this prompt as a warm up and forgot to post it

___

It was bound to happen sooner or later on Alternia: absolute disaster.

You like to think you'd made you peace with the idea. Brutality? Well, all trolls are bastards, you're used to it. Violence? It's just foreplay on Alternia, and these funky little ant people want you so bad it makes them look stupid. They better start calling you cordyceps 'cause you got these bitches going to lengths once they've got you on the brain. And drone strikes? All you have to say to that is: you've befriended worse. Murder clowns; weeaboos and gamers; a verified nice guy, even. Drones got nothing on a heated gamer moment.

So what gets you in the end... it's the overconfidence, surely. Your sudden courage; you think it happens with an "oops" or an "uh-oh."

The important part is: it happens at all.

Because here's the thing they don't tell you about Alternia: even you- with your pal-ietal lobe, your cerebell-chum, your god damn penchant for being just the friendliest little guy- are alone with me, myself, and I at the end of the night. All you've got is that dude in the mirror who only talks back when you're at your most sleep deprived.

And that dude in the mirror has one fucked up 'do.

Fuck.

___

The solution is obvious: you've fucked youself over with Occam's razor, may as well use it. Who else do you know has fucked up hair?

Well, all of your troll friends. Tagora especially comes to mind. But who else has intentionally fucked hair?

Mallek lets you into his hive without a word about your impending flop era.

It might be thanks to the hood drawn up over your head; thank god for Mallek's hoodie.

"What's up?" he asks. You're still learning to read him; his smirk never quite reaches his eyes, but then again, neither do any of his other expressions. "If you're planning on robbing the hood, I'd appreciate if you didn't display my sign." He flops down on his sofa, grabbing another slice of pizza and handing you the blue plastic plate as if your hands aren't shoved anxiously in your hoodie pocket. "Or at least rob something really cool and subversive. You know, flushed affirmation day is coming up-" it isn't, "-and I've always wanted a Namaaq original."

His desperate attempt to act like everything is cool means so much; you almost believe it, with his smudged eyeliner and his dichotomous face.

"Already stole everything I wanted," you say, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, pressing your fingers to his chest. It's a small comfort; his heart beats so slow where yours is beating in a near frantic state.

"Just the one? You know I've got about five more?"

"Hearts?"

He smirks again, but this time his eyes join the party with a little tilt-o-whirl and the light that comes with it. "Hoodies." He takes a bit of his pizza, chewing through a smile.

He gestures at you with his half-eaten slice. "So what's the deal tonight? Breaking and entering? Defamation of property?"

"Defamation of person, maybe," you say. And with a thrill of anxiety, you pull the hood down.

"Damn," he says. He chews down the crust. "You look fucked up."

Well, he didn't have to say it. Damn gamers and their blunt demeanors. Tears sting at your eyes; maybe this was a mistake.

Mallek looks suddenly very distressed, running his hand through his own hair and eyes wide. "Fuck, I didn't mean it like that." He's panicking now, which at least is endearing enough that you can momentarily shove aside your upset. He looks around wildly, before handing you another slice of pizza. Another blue plastic plate. His white flag, his peace offering.

"Help," you say, in a tiny, mousey voice. Because it's the only thing you can say without falling to pieces.

___

It takes some manoevering, three more slices of pizza, and a few paragraphs of skipped exposition before you're sat in Mallek's gamer chair, with Mallek's hands in your hair, and Mallek's razor buzzing away behind you.

It's terrifying; hasn't your look suffered enough?

"You're going to get my hair stuck in all the noo- crevices," you catch yourself just in time.

"Yeah, well I've got a fan."

"Human hair is finer than troll hair."

"Heh. Got a leafblower, too."

"Do you really?"

"Yeah." You turn around in his chair to really look at him, give him a hard left face to the face. "Really," he repeats emphatically. "How do you think I got around before I saved up enough allowance for a hoverboard?" He jerks his horns to one of several piles of junk that litter his hive. You wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't pointed it out; a leafblower connected to both a skateboard AND a flamethrower. That is indeed Alternia's stupidest- and, possibly, deadliest- private transportation.

You're shocked. "Does it work?"

He scoffs. "Does it work? Do you feel any hair in those crevices?" He kicks at the seat; several meals worth of crumbs rain down.

You do, regretfully, find yourself suddenly aware of tiny bits of your cut hair in your own crevices. You wonder if he'll let you take a shower, or if he's going to try to prove a point with that leafblower.

"Your deflecting," he says, grabbing you by the top of your head and straightening you out. He clicks on the razor and you must visabley tense, because his hand on your head goes suddenly tender. "What's the big deal? I've been cutting my own hair for sweeps."

"What if I look stupid?"

"Do I look stupid to you?" He fluffs up his hair with his off hand, looking like the world's sexiest cockatiel.

There's silence between you. Mallek's face is so transparently pleading with you: please laugh, please feel better.

"It's just..." you trail off, fiddling with the hem of your stolen hoodie. "I've always been a person with hair that was a certain length, and-"

Mallek interrupts you with a swipe of his razor against your scalp.

"Hey!" your hand jumps to the clean shaven spot; it's fuzzy like a kiwi.

"You'll learn," he says, pitching his voice low, "to be the person with this length hair." He pulls the last lock out of your face before shaving it, kissing you on your now exposed scalp. "Or this length hair," he tickles you on the jaw with the lock of hair he just shaved off. "You're gonna look so punk, babe."

And so it goes. He doesn't shave your whole head; just a small part of the side.

"Did I ever show you my first shave?" he asks, wiping down his blade once he's finished.

He doesn't wait for your answer, shoving his palmhusk in front of you. The picture is of preteen Mallek, complete with lime-green soda tab necklace and striped arm bands and shaggy, wavy hair with a shaved patch right at the side, all right angles.

"Wow," you can't help but laugh, "I always knew you were a square." You trace the perfect, ridiculous edges of his hairline on his palmhusk screen, and he hits the lock button.

You're forced into eye contact with your own reflection.

It's not bad- the haircut is very troll, with wild bits sticking up at odd angles- but, well...

You turn in your chair.

"So, matching tattoos next?" He offers.

It's not you, not really...

But you smirk the same way he does: all mouth. Your mouth. On his.

You think you can find a way to be this person, right now. You'll grow into it, and if not? The hair will grow into you, eventually.

[momijiba]

since it's munday i'm finally having a good reason to talk about this..

I ABSOLUTELY ADMIRE CALIS ( @al-hazen ) with the discipline for going through so many drafts like that. it's something i definitely want to try and aim for myself. but it's very admirable ^^

[taketwoinink]

favourite article of winter clothing

Why no, I haven't had this ask for rapidly approaching a year, whatever do you mean? (but also that means we've been friends for coming up on a year and that makes me very happy :D )

My leopard sprint shawl!! It's way too warm to wear most of the time but I love it. It's wool and it's big and I basically disappear into it and it's wonderful!

[adammilligan]

the thought of michael leaving to go to heaven for a few days and coming back to find adam drunk out of his mind because he forgot what it was like and wanted to try it again now that he's back on earth is so funny and never leaves my mind

[pacific-coast-hockey]

69 posts in the queue...nice haha