#i'm not even exaggerating im BIG mad here

[whisper-and-tangle]

ohhh god. oh no. tangle is CLEARLY super nervous here- she's sweating, and has no idea what to do- but she's making jokes and trying to smile and even laugh, because first of all, she wants to be a hero-

does trying to be witty to divert attention away from disastrous situations remind you of anyone. anyone with blue quills and pronouns.

-And she even did this during the metal virus arc, when she literally fucking died. Tangle is desperately trying to keep the team together- she doesn't want it to fall apart, and won't let that happen- she's trying to reassure everyone, but Lanolin's just done with it. Every mission they've ever been on- From the metal virus (Where a pissed-off Lanolin appeared in the background) to Surge,- they escaped by the skin of their teeth. They're barely scraping by- and Lanolin was on the sidelines then. She's now being referred to as boss, by Tangle, trying to cheer her up- basically Tangle's way of saying 'oh god. we're completely fucked. we need a plan or we're all fucking dead' (i mean. im exaggerating a bit but whatever) and Lanolin...just gave up.

She doesn't think she's cut out for it. She was desperate, needed help- maybe a distraction from life- or a way out of this place- or was done with all the destruction- I'm not sure yet, I don't exactly know her origin story, but either way, she joined the restoration and watched it crumble.

She watched leaders quit and falter, she watched the metal virus destroy their last 'bastion of hope', she watched the restoration that was supposed to rebuild, razed to the ground, forced to start all over again.

Tangle's terrified and she doesn't want to show it.

Lanolin's gave up and lost any hope.

Sonic's struggling, but trying to hide it.

And Blaze & Silver only just arrived-

And Whisper?

She's hurt. Not physically, atleast yet- but she's clearly emotionally hurt, her relationship with Tangle clearly strained at the moment-

But Tangle's struggling too, and she can't always be upbeat and cheery, but she can try, except the Whisper being upset with her isn't just painful for Whisper- it's painful for Tangle! She had no idea about Surge! She was trying to be nice- trying to honour their memory- and while it was a stupid, maybe even out of character decision- her intentions were pure, and she doesn't know why Whisper is so mad about it. Whisper has a right to be upset- but, for things to be fixed, they need to push past this and have a moment to talk about it.

The thing is, though?

Tangle already tried.

She tried talking to Whisper, but she's too mad to even want to talk.

Either they'll have a big argument, maybe eventually sorting things out, or Whisper will finally calm down- and they'll be able to talk things out.

But right now? The former seems more likely.

She just wants to fix things, but it seems like everyone else is too busy watching the flames burn it all down to try.

[branmuffins22]

for the toh ask game- 2, 8, 12?

from this ask game:

2. Ramble about your favorite character of all time as much as you want. We're listening

Ohhhh boy. Oh man. Oh geez. You play a dangerous game, starting out with the kicker.

The obvious choice would be Luz, right? because she's like, the perfect main character. Lovable, relatable, flawed, believable (mostly; those fireworks were a bit much), clever, emotional, funny, the list goes on.

But.

However.

I have to go with Vee.

To me, Vee is all those things and more. She's still relatable, but for completely different (some unaddressed by canon, some completely made up by me) reasons. She's the cutest sweetest little shapeshifter we actually got the chance to get to know (sorry Stringbean). She's flawed, she'd completely given up on Luz's return and was ready to throw away whatever parts of her life she didn't jive with, and then even after most of a day of hanging out with her, she was STILL kinda mad at her! She's got confusing emotions and she was able to admit it! She's a tortured and traumatized kid who's trying maybe a bit too hard to put it all behind her, and even her more fantastical struggles are made to make perfect sense in that context. She's clever and observant enough to blend in with humans (and even convince Camila she was Luz for a while), and she was instrumental in solving the rebus. She's funny not just in her sense of humor (which is anywhere from awkward to earnest to dry, all hilarious), but also in the dichotomy of being one of the more "normal" "human" characters in the show, despite not really being either of those things (part of a thought-extinct species, and unique even among others of that species. said species is a kind of magic-eating shape-shifting demon from another realm, and here she is in suburban connecticut, idly learning spanish with her friends).

She's my precious baby blorbo and I love her. She's chubby (I'm chubby), she's awkward around her crush (I'm awkward around my crush (and also in general)), she likes to wear warm colors and big boots (I like to wear warm colors and big boots (not that I have any that fit well enough for daily wear)), she's got a bit of an overbite (I had one when I was young), she is (or, I guess, was?) kinda sorta something like a twin (I'm a twin), her hair is poofy and long (at least in her epilogue design) (my hair is poofy and long), augh, she feels basically tailor-made for me. I'm not exaggerating when I say I learned to love certain parts of myself by loving them first in her.

She's perfect.

also. im gonna rant about her even more in the next bit, sorrynotsorry.

8. Any headcanons? If so, which are your favorite?

Soooo many. Like, enough that I'm writing a whole ass barely-even-canon-divergent AU just to give myself the excuse to explore them. Actually, kinda writing two if you count MatVNN, but it's more of a post-canon affair.

Probably my favorite, though, is Vee being trans (and a bunch of other flavors of queer). I'll admit, a lot of the things that make me like Vee so much are just Sorta Plausible Shit I Came Up With, and chief among them is my trans Vee theory.

So, I'll start with the canon stuff:

Vee is rather unique, even among basilisks. Her tail has 3 fins rather than the other basilisks' 1 or 2 fins, her eyes have a different structure (and more individual colors) than the others', and she has a distinct head and neck that the other basilisks don't have. She's also a lot smaller than the other basilisks: about half the size of III and IV, and even smaller compared to the "greater basilisk" which attacked Hexside (we'll call her the Inspector). In the epilogue, Vee's size doesn't appear to have changed much, if at all (hell, even in her human form, she doesn't look much taller), nor have the sizes of III and IV. The only change any of them appear to have gone through is that Vee has more/longer hair, some of which is a lighter cyan than the previous navy blue, which still remains at her roots and on her ears.

Those are the facts. Now, there could be any number of reasons for her unique traits.

The doylist reason is the easiest: she was designed to look smaller and more humanoid to appear to the audience as more sympathetic. Her strange eyes could just be a bit of fun character design, something to make her stand out on screen. No biggie.

The watsonian reasons are a lot more compelling to me though.

She could very well be quite young for a basilisk. Perhaps their eyes change shape and lose some of their color as they grow up. Perhaps the neck becomes less distinct as they get older. Perhaps even after the 3+ year timeskip before the epilogue, Vee was still prepubescent for a basilisk.

Perhaps the various basilisks are representative of different species within the same family (ex. the Inspector is called a "greater basilisk", but the others are just referred to as "basilisks"), and Vee's unique traits are staples of whatever specific species she is (I first came across this theory in A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and they proposed "fat-tailed basilisk" as the name of Vee's species, mostly for the sake of a gag)

One of the more interesting theories is that she's only half basilisk. I wasn't the one to come up with it, but I don't remember who was, so for that I apologize, but basically, there was a theory going around for a little while after her introduction, that Vee was actually the bastard child of one of the other basilisks and Warden Wrath. The biggest point of evidence was the yellow pupils, a trait only shared between Vee and Wrath, as well as the fact that Wrath was clearly involved in the basilisk project, as shown in Vee's flashbacks in Yesterday's Lie. It's not my favorite theory by any means, but it's a super interesting one, very angsty.

My personal theory, however, and the theory on which I base a few of my other Vee headcanons, is that all the myriad differences between Vee and the other basilisks can be explained away by a simple case of sexual dimorphism in the basilisk species. "Number 5" was simply the only "male" basilisk shown on screen.

Now, what's the evidence for this theory? There is none! As with all the best headcanons, there's no real reason it should be true, but there's ALSO no definitive evidence it isn't true.

So, Number 5 escaped the labs, wandered into the Human Realm, took the form of the only human he'd seen, and spent 3 months at summer camp incidentally trying out being a girl. Turns out, she liked it! So when the time came to give Luz back her identity, Vee made her own new form a girl too.

Now, this headcanon comes with some... caveats? Complications? Sprinkles of realism? I like to imagine some extraneous silly little plot points surrounding this.

Gonna mention 'nads & stuff in purple, so skip past it if you're squeamish about people having body parts or whatever.

When Vee took on Luz's form, she didn't really know what was going on under all those clothes, so she improvised, and kept things as close to her basilisk form as possible. It was partly to conserve magic during the shift, and partly just because she couldn't imagine what to put there. This meant she had a dick, and probably a pretty funny-looking one, too, until she came across a human health textbook and got a better picture of what that whole situation is supposed to look like.

Eventually, during an accident with someone in the Cabin 7 crew (probably standard "woops, didnt realize you were changing in here" shenanigans), someone catches her with her pants down, and she accidentally makes them think Luz is trans. A silly little mixup, definitely no consequences in the future, for sure.

After this, Vee ends up learning about pride flags and their meanings, and starts collecting those things like trading cards. She is staggeringly queer. I tend to think of her as bi/pan/demi-rose, genderqueer, genderfluid (usually on a sliding scale between fem and neutral, but outside that range often enough to be noteworthy), and polyam (in theory, anyways, but even by the epilogue she's still only had one partner, Masha. Granted, she's only maybe 18 by then, so she's got a LOT of time left to try things out), but because that's So Many Labels, she tends to simplify down to Queer. Am I projecting? Yeah, a little. Maybe a lot. So what?

Anyways, when Luz comes back and Vee picks out her own human form, she mostly performs a 1-1 translation from her basilisk form to her human form (matching her standing height, size, approximate face shape, etc), and in so doing, takes on a few typically-masculine characteristics (like a mostly-flat, somewhat-wide chest, bodyfat mostly at her belly, and of course, a (normal, human) dick (most of the time, anyways; she is a shapeshifter, and can do whatever she wants forever)), resulting in her rather androgynous appearance. If her human form is gonna be her, it's gonna reflect her truth: she wasn't always a girl, but she is now. In the epilogue, her human form looks a bit more feminine/less androgynous than before (most notably with wider hips), as if she'd been on HRT for long enough to see some changes.

Now, I've also got all manner of general Basilisk Biology Headcanons, such as how shapeshifting works (magic is used to perform transformations, and reverting to their natural form doesn't use any; holding a transformation only burns calories, not magic; transformations are holistic, inside-and-out, with the two exceptions being the brain and whatever organ stores collected magic), how magical hunger works (it doesn't quite exist, they're not vampires, eating/draining magic is just a thing they Can do in order to transform, not a thing they Have to do to live; however, when a basilisk is hungry, it begins burning through its magic to stave off malnutrition, causing them to seek out magically dense food (really just magic in general, kinda maladaptive like humans' sugar cravings)), how mass distribution works when they transform (they retain their weight when they take on new forms, which limits their transformed size by how far they can compress/decompress their mass. this is part of why the Inspector was so hungry; they were near the limits of how far they could compress, and burning through calories like crazy to stay that way), their natural habitat (fins on their tails suggest they're at least semi-aquatic, but the fact that they stayed on the Boiling Isles as they fled from Belos suggests that they're not immune to (and thus not native to) the Boiling Sea, therefore I propose that they were native to lakes, the only bodies of water shown not to be boiling all the time. also they use their shapeshifting to change their bouyancy as they dive for mollusks or whatever), reproduction (internal fertilization, followed by egg laying; they can change their physical sex pretty much at will, because they're shapeshifters, but if it's not their "natural" form, it still consumes magic to get into that form and burns extra calories to hold the form; fertilization and pregnancy tends to go quite poorly if a basilisk changes/reverts to a form that doesn't have the proper equipment for whatever child they're currently bearing), and so on (basilisk eyes are adapted for underwater, leaving them relatively nearsighted unless transformed to be otherwise, and they have a short-term photographic memory to make assembling accurate disguises on the fly easier/possible), but I don't really feel the need to go tooooo into detail with all that >.>

12. What do you consider the most memorable scene? Why?

That's a very tough choice, between the graveyard fight in Thanks to Them (Very intense. Very beautiful, very powerful) and the Lumity dance in Enchanting Grom Fright (Very romantic. Very beautiful, very powerful). They both basically defined the fandom brainrot after their respective releases, and unlike the various season finales, there was little else cutting in to interrupt and distract from them. Just tasty, tasty action, one at the breathtaking height of fluff, and the other in the soul-crushing depths of angst.

A close third, to whichever one of those is only second-best, would be the duel for the portal key in Eclipse Lake (Very dramatic. Very beautiful, very powerful). Another big action scene, who'd'a thunk it, and another angsty one, too.

[dnpbeats]

There's so many misinterpretations of what I said here. It seems like a lot of people just had a knee-jerk reaction to certain words and didn't think about the actual meaning. I didn't say that Dan exaggerated his struggles. I said he exaggerated how deep in the closet he was, as in how many people he was out to. Specifically referring to interviews he did post-BIG where he made it sound like he wasn't out to a single person. I think it does make sense that he meant he wasn't out as specifically gay, but that's not what someone who doesn't know his history would assume. I'm gonna be totally honest, even though I know it's probably going to get people mad at me again. Post-BIG, during the solo-Dan/WAD era, it seemed like the narrative was constantly shifting. So much that it was hard to know what's true and what's not. Was Dan completely closeted or did his close friends know he wasn't straight? Did Dan not accept that he was attracted to men at all before 2018, or did he accept it, but struggle with the specific label? Was Dan not with any men pre-coming out or was he living as a gay man in private? The answer seems to change depending on the intended audience.

I definitely don't think that Dan exaggerated his internalized-homophobia, or how much harassment and bullying he received, or lied about anything he said in BIG, but he has obfuscated the truth since then. I think part of that might be because he was trying to rebrand himself and attract a certain audience (specifically, young adult gay men) and another is that he was trying to direct people's attention away from his relationship with Phil. Both personal and professional. I definitely put more stock in what Dan said in BIG than the things he's said in random interviews. Anyway I'm gonna stop causing discourse on your blog. Sorry.

Hi again! No worries, thank you for taking the time to explain yourself :) (and sorry I have let this ask rot in my inbox for the whole day lmao)

I agree with you that often times things that dan says in interviews are confusing and can be misinterpreted. however in my personal opinion, just based on what ive observed, I don't think it's necessarily intentional. I honestly think he just speaks without thinking and puts his foot in his mouth a lot lol. I don't think that he necessarily purposely changes his answers to questions based on the audience, I think he's just a tiny bit pretentious and likes to come up with superfluous ways to say things. often times that gets confusing and gives a lot of different interpretations to what he says

I looked through a handful of interviews he did post coming out and I didn't ever see him say that he wasn't out to anyone at all as a queer man; he talked a lot about struggling with labeling himself as gay, and the fact that it weighed on him that he wasn't out to his audience. he did mention in one article coming out to his family "and friends" but that doesn't necessarily imply that he was in the closet to all his friends (fyi just bc I didn't see him say that doesn't mean an interview like that doesn't exist, I just got tired of looking I went though like 6 articles haha)

I completely agree that to an outsider, they might assume he wasn't out at all and not a soul knew he liked men. but personally, im not sure that it was a necessity for him to clarify that in the interviews, or at all. the point of all the interviews was that he was finally living authentically as himself and that he was able to be comfortable labeling himself as gay—there's no real reason for him to tack on "oh also when I say that I was closeted, I mean that I didn't label myself as gay but this list of 15 people knew I was dating a man," you know? that's not the point he was trying to make

anyway, sorry if you felt ganged up on!! ty again for clarifying :))

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 1: Overture

hello i am back with a New Update on things to react to, and i thought Hazbin Hotel would be the perfect place to start since all episodes were fully released a few days ago! and also EVERYBODY i know has been bugging me about watching this show and now i FINALLY have the time to!!

spoilers under the cut

wow barely a few seconds in and i can already tell that the music is gonna be So Banger

wow okay so the opening exposition is Super Interesting

just wanna say the animation is also Fantastic in this section but ooh the lore drops

i really love the way the angels are stylized here, and how its all in black and white with accents of gold (except Lucifer who has a very light red gradient in his wings)

and also its the way that More color is brought on screen by Lucifer only oooh

oohh and the way that red gradient turns gray when the angels are like, disapproving of his ideas

its So Funny how Adam fumbled his first wife So Hard that she ran away and fell in love with someone else then his second wife got convinced by the First Wife and Her New Love LMFAOO

MAN this makes me feel SO Bad for Lucifer and i feel Conflicted as someone raised christian but like. i feel bad for him they do say that the road to hell was paved with good intentions

also Lilith thriving on the evil stuff like you Go Girlboss

these are So Pretty to look at

aww Charlie and Vaggie are So Cute

SEVEN YEARS? ouch seven years without hearing anything from her mom

omg they are So Cute

OMG THIS IS SO CUTE

damn the ominous Ringing of the Bell in the only angelic-like structure of hell

BYE ALASTOR'S AD.....

"Founded five days ago by Lucifer's ~delusional~ daughter!"

"As she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!" STOPPPP NAHHH THATS FOULL

the shaky camera i cant

"HAHA I NAMED IT" LMFAOOOO yeah you sure did buddy

incredible, they dont have A Working Phone

their faces LMFAOO

love that Alastor is bad at TV commercials because he's like... a radio host. the radio demon. he is Decidedly Not a TV Guy

also can i just say that the animation is So Smooth and So Fluid like wow i could rewatch the way each character moves 100 times and that is NOT exaggeration

help he is So Mad that they arent doing a radio show

ok actually Angel Dust's voice is really good like?? idk something about it is just Fun to listen to

Charlie trying to be So Nice is extremely entertaining

OMG HUSK !! HIS VOICE HELP !! it fits So Well

also shoutout to the background music

omg Angel Dust has got a little heart spot on the back of his head thats really really cute

aww Charlie is so cute

OOH A SONG ALREADY

LMFAOO "That bitch is halfway down the street!" i love Angel's goofy little smile as he says it also Amazing how the fuck did she get over there so quickly????

i love Charlie's and Vaggie's voice

"They're bloodthirsty and deranged!" <- really funny that this is being said about angels

he is a Hologram hey this guy's An Asshole what the fuck did Charlie ever do to you

new reaction image she looks so done with his bullshit im cackling

i can already tell that the new commercial is Not gonna go well

HEKSDJKSDN ANGEL DUST "I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place... on the path to redemption!" THE CHANGE IN TONE I CANNOT

oh ok so this Asshole Angel Guy is adam

"I'm the original dick!" BRO???? HELP?? IM ?? this does not sound like Angelic Behavior anyways what The Fuck is he even on about

the fact that he specifically calls out Climate Change as Earth's Problem, but not HERPES?? implies that angels get herpes i guess????

HELFHLDKJ I CANT Hazbin Hotel is KILLING it with the facial expressions

there is not One Thought behind that eye new reaction image

its okay Nifty you're trying your best

there are just Too Many good reaction images and memes spawned from just this One episode

Alastor is So Mad and Bitter about TV

BRUH the way he couldve done all that The Whole Time but he didnt because he Hates tv 😭😭

also wtf Nifty's giant now

well... at least Vaggie and the Hotel Gang are having a better time than Charlie with this Asshole Angel Guy

"I've never made a mistake in my fucking life" says the guy who fucked up so bad that he had to get a second wife

fuck this song is banger BUT i hate adam

DAMN "And for those of us with divine ordainment/Extermination is entertainment!" fuck when he sings it it goes So Hard but like aw :(( what The Fuck Heaven

WTF THEY MOVED IT EARLIER ????? WHY ??

help Alastor just glitching on screen

oh what The Fuck theyre moving it earlier cuz somehow a demon killed an angel? and theyre gonna kill ALL OF THE DEMONS????? WHAT

and thats the end of the episode im.

wow well. honestly it was REALLY good and i am so excited to watch the rest of the series

unfortunately i have to go now, bye i will be back with my reactions to the second episode! tomorrow (hopefully)

farewell, folks!

[onlineproblems]

@jjohnnyutah okay I'm out of the shower. here goes, the xfiles word vomit

i wish i remembered more of season 1 and i guess 2 but i started watching like a year ago and i wasnt sure how i felt about it at the time and sort of half paid attention to the majority of the episodes. i plan to rewatch anyway but most of my excitement for the show peaked around mid-late season 2, when i felt like i knew what was going on (that didnt last) and i understood the dynamics between all the characters.

nobody could ever guess /s but i ADORE scully. i love and identify with her repressed catholic/survivors guilt and inability to express herself and the way she puts too much of herself into a quest that wasn't even hers to start with. and then finally opens up and leaves her shell and gets to be silly later in the show with a wry, dry humor that complements mulder's goofiness.

i think the baby arc is one of the dumbest things i've ever seen (not that i've seen all of it yet, but jesus it's so dumb). maybe it's because i'm a bitter childless hag but i dont relate to her intense desire to have children and i feel like when she got pregnant the writers absolutely mauled her personality to death. ffs they already put her through every other torture they could devise, why not a lobotomy? everyone knows motherhood makes you weak-willed and stupid. i mean im exaggerating but it's because the anger is fresh lol.

I'm so so scared to watch the revival because i don't want it to warp my nostalgic understanding of the characters. i love them and want them to live forever in a little bubble in Vancouver, fighting the moth men (yes that ep was so good) and getting up to shenanigans while CSM and Krycek does his incompetent bullshit off to the side.

I've seen several people talk about Jewish Mulder and i think the idea makes a lot of sense, and didn't they even reference it a time or two in the show? like the ep with the golem? i got mad when they gave him a Christian burial lol.

i like mulder's appreciation for the beauty in the weird and how he doesn't give a shit for what anyone thinks of him except Scully. i like that he's so wrapped up in the wonders out there but is also staunchly atheistic.

i didn't want Samantha's disappearance to be solved because it seemed like such a trite ending to mulder's trauma and the ultimate mystery in his life. i guess it was a good enough solution, but her abduction was what fueled him and gave him meaning and to wrap it up with a bow felt...idk, dismissive almost. i wanted closure for him but not necessarily answers. if your life's meaning is to search for answers, and suddenly you can have all the answers to the universe, where do you find meaning then? I may not be making sense lmao

and i think that's when i enjoy the x files most, when it's not trying to package things all neatly. maybe it's trying to ask a question, or maybe it's just trying to have fun, or both, but it's not trying too hard. the mythology is too much for me and frankly detracts from my enjoyment of... it. they wanted something epic and mysterious and then couldn't make any sense out of their own cryptic bullshit.

self-contained episodes like clyde bruckman, asking a question about determinism and big stuff like that without getting preachy or condescending, are excellent.

there's a hundred other things i could say but... that's enough for now lol.

[begaydodrughailsaten]

hi vik!

i just wanted to scoot in here and ask smth rq!! this is not an admonishment i’m just curious /gen

is there a reason skinny people have to be put down to lift fat people? like! idk personally i think body positivity should include All bodies big middle and small. if we’re skinny shaming people for their bodies we’re still commenting on how they look which can. really. have negative effects (as a person w eating issues)

plus like!! skinny is not always a choice just as fat is not always a choice. pre-diagnosis type 1 diabetics or people with overactive metabolisms or people who were in bad environments and developed an eating disorder just. idk it feels a little weird that body positivity (esp on tumblr) is Only about fat people it feels counterintuitive

this is all /nm /gen i am just!!! curious okay have a good day :D

Hi anon! I'm not quite sure what post you might be talking about, so I've scrolled through all my reblogs from the pst 24 hours to find all the posts about fat/skinny people to try and find the problem. If its not one of these post you were talking about feel free to send me the link of the one you were talking about, or that made you want to ask me this.

I don't think this is making fun of skinny people, just pointing out art often over exaggerates skinniness to an extreme, making people think any drawing where a woman isn't incredibly tiny is a "plus sized" drawing even though irl they would be considered skinny.

This one doesn't mention skinny people at all, just saying how some people from cultures out side of the us often like to dog pile on the idea "all Americans are fat and that makes them gross haha" which is a complete dog shit take for many reasons. I also say in the tags that we should not make fun of anyone for what they eat or how much they eat, that includes skinny people and people who only eat "healthy" foods, and people who don't eat a lot.

I mean both fat bitches and skinny bitches alike can not cast fireball. Sadly. There should be more fat bitches casting fireball in video games tho

I'm pretty sure this might be the one that made you upset, it has a much meaner tone then the rest. But it's also not making fun of skinny people. It's saying "if you reblog fat positive posts, just to say something along the lines of "i agree but im sooo small and skinny and tiny! But i agree!" You are scared of being seen as fat. And yes, I do understand that ED's play a real role in this, I have two teen sisters who both have ED's and last summer I only let myself eat anything other them sugar  free mints and black coffee once every three days I have both expected and seen first hand what ED's do. But that doesn't excuse the fact going on a fat positive post and showing everyone you are scared of being confused for a fat person can make fat people also scared about being seen as fat. It can also make anyone thats still pretty skinny or small thats even a bit bigger then you scared that maybe they are "too big"

I am really genuinely sorry if any I have personally said or reblogged has made you mad or hurt you anon. I don't think anything I've recently said was anti skinny or trying to make skinny people feel bad for there weight. Again if it wasn't one of these posts you were concerned about please send it to me so I can try and understand more of where you are coming from

/gen hope you have a good day too anon!!:3

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

"i'm your boyfriend after all."

↖ navigation: seventeen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: bf! vernon x gn! reader

↬ tags: vernon being a little sulky, this piece is for my strong + independent people who just needs to realize that if your lover is doing things for you it is out of love and not duty

summary: a hug and a kiss is all he needs to be comforted. and a promise to let him do all the manly things from now on.

word count: 579 words

a/n: lowkey personal experience because im a girl's girl, im always telling them to leave it to me, and i just forget men naturally just have more strength-

a/n again: i thought today (20th) was the 21st...and i was rushing through it...nevermind...

vernon didn't even register he was frowning until you let go of his hands, choosing to worriedly wring them behind your back.

"i...is it because of what happened earlier...?" vernon glances at you, his gaze already telling you the answer to your question. you averted his stare, hands coming up to rub your face sheepishly.

to say that he was upset was an exaggeration, but to say that he wasn't hurt was an understatement. vernon pauses mid-walk, standing before you, and his thoughts came spiling out in a mumbled mess, "i know you are absolutely able to do all these things yourself, so would it kill you to let me do these romantic things for you?"

—-

vernon perks up at the sight of your untied shoelaces, catching your attention.

"oh! shoelaces!"

he was preparing to get down on one knee to sweetly tie it up for you, but you leaned against him, bringing your left foot up to lace it into a double knot. you smiled at him, "thanks for pointing it out. let's go!" you walked ahead, with him trailing behind you like a defeated little puppy. he stares dejectedly at the missed opportunity to be chivalric.

"i was gonna do it for you..." he lightly grumbled under his breath.

—-

vernon watches carefully, as you scrolled through the combined shopping list. he rests his weight against the cart as you put items into it. “is that a discount?” you pointed to the big neon yellow sign on the highest row and his eyes light up, matching your equally excited expression. “shall we get that?”

vernon detaches himself from the cart’s handle, about to reach up to grab that bag of snacks only for you to tiptoe and with fumbling fingers you nudged the box so that it falls directly into the cart. you nearly lost your balance but he swiftly stretches out his hand to support you. vernon internally groans, another missed opportunity.

—-

he spins around, sulking. he couldn't help it: he isn't mad at you, just disappointed that you maybe hadn't trust him enough to let your guard down around him. or much less let him do things for you.

you didn't even let him hold the grocery bags when you were struggling, saying that you could hold it and it was a "piece of cake".

he hears you put the bags of groceries down and you hugged from behind. "a hug."

you nudged him to face you and you tip-toed, pressing a kiss to his face, "and a kiss.”

you cupped his face in your hands, effectively trapping him. his eyes were focused on your features, on the way you were so incredibly close to him. he felt his cheeks heating up: he really couldn't stay mad at you for long.

closing your arms around his frame, you softly whispered, "i didn't forget. you told me before, if you were upset, i should hold you because you are someone who needs my comfort too."

his throat closes up at your heartfelt words. he finally embraces you, his chin resting atop of your head. you pat his back, as a form of apology.

“i want to do all these things because i love you. i know you can do them, but now that i’m here, would you rely on me? i'm your boyfriend after all."

vernon grabs the grocery bags from the ground, smiling when your face turns a light pink.

"mhm. my lover."

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[scuopsie]

Your description of the majority of men reactors 💀 Oh yes, catling benson is one of those I enjoy as well! I wasn't sure if you were referring to them because I still haven't watched their last video, but I had the feeling something was going on. I'm glad she's being transparent about how she feels.

I think reactors often happen to have particularly excited or dramatic reactions and get/feel pressured to have the same reaction to everything they watch, also to avoid toxic fans comments... I'm sorry (not sorry) but I blame young new kpop fans for this, especially those coming from twitter, where these reactors seem to find most (if not all) rude (or worse) comments. Of course not all of them are like this, I know and see so many that are not, they are respectful and behave in a more human and chill way, but there's a big portion that does, sadly.

Anyway. I'm all for reacting to a limited number of groups, if I were ever to do such thing, I would react to my favorites and occasionally others. However, I also realize that for many this is or becomes a job, and so the wider the public the better... About authenticity, for me it's quite fundamental otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time...

My fav reactors are (apart from the two i've already mentioned), the safe cave (they're also been pretty transparent with subscribers over time, took breaks when needed and made clear how and what they react to, definitely my number 1) and Lktv (he does bang his head lmao but I enjoy his reactions, he does comment a lot most of the time.)

Recently I saw a few reactions from millennial men and katriinka, a vocal coach. They seem good, at least from what I saw. I knew i forgot something 🤡 choreography! Idk why is so hard to find good dancers reactions... there's jeff avenue, there was a time he used to explain even more stuff and it was 👌👌👌 Musa is too much for me 💀 too much... I also find it exaggerated, also because it's like a standard for him to react that way. And when there's an important message behind he doesn't seem to catch it? I haven't watched all his videos, but some made me mad lol so I was like, "okay, enough, thank u next".

Exactly! Like it’s to be expected for someone who’s reacting to kpop for the first time to be blown away by pretty much everything bc kpop is just on a different level than western music videos, but after a while it becomes the norm and u have to start being real… otherwise whats the point?

Yeah i also think that toxic stans are a huge part of the problem but i think its time for ppl to stop tiptoeing around and trying to fit their content into a mold just to avoid toxic stans bc all that does is give them more power. (Obv its easy for me to sit here and say this but idk i feel like we need to just do our own thing until these toxic stans learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their faves)

Oooh ive seen kaia’s vids on search but i dont think ive ever checked any of them out! I’ll definitely give them a shot! And I actually watched lktv’s reaction to beautiful liar and as far as enthusiasm goes they were pretty decent but one thing that kind of gave me the ick was the random korean words they threw around (and the korean greeting) idk it just gave me koreaboo vibes kdkdkdk

I remember there was this one vocal coach reacts who had really long hair and he was pretty real. Like he clearly wasnt doing it to appease kpopies. Their main reaction content wasnt even kpop but i havent seen them around (tho i didnt look them up either) in ages. Yeah… im sorry jeff avenue’s reactions are boring too.

[deexchanel]

Vacation

Word Count:

Pairing: Avengers x BlackFem!Reader

Warning: Swearing, A tipsy reader, Fluff maybe?

Summary: the avengers finally have a break off from avenging the world. The first place they go for vacation? Maui Hawaii.

A/N: You guys liking my content means a lot💜💜. when writing one-shots why don't people put oufits? i wanna see wtf i be wearing since im y/n!😂 I got some long faux locs in my hairrr sooo ykk i had to put it in here🙂

Y/N stood in the kitchen pouring coconut rum into a drink that she found a recipe for on google. It was called a mermaid cocktail and it looked like something she could get away with, without any of her family members saying something. "I'm so ready to drink this, it looks so good." She mumbled stirring the rum mixture.

She is 23 years old but the team still treats her like a little kid. As of right now, everyone was taking a nap from their huge lunch. All those missions they work was eventually stressing them out so Y/N took it upon herself to plan a vacation for them. She rented out a huge beach house for them. Best idea everr!!

Seeing the smiles on their face made her feel so content with her main priorities being happy. "What are you making?" Loki's voice said from behind her. Y/N gave him a big toothy grin. "Oh, nothingggg!"

"You're up to no good, I know you are." Loki raised an eyebrow at her turquoise-looking drink. "I'm not going to even ask." He sat down at the island, shaking his head. Y/N could feel something was off with him. She put the pitcher in the refrigerator, then sat beside him in the chair.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm thinking Y/N."

"About? We're on vacation Loki, we can think when we're back at the tower doing boring missions." Y/N stared at his jet black hair, having the urge to run her fingers through it.

"No, you can't touch my hair." Loki knew exactly what she was thinking. Y/N pout her bottom lip, squinting her eyes. "That's not what I was going to do. Anyway, what are you thinking about?"

"I feel out of place. I just know they are still mad with me from the events of New York." Loki buries his face in his hands. "I want to go back to Asgard, I know they'll rather want me there than here."

Y/N removed his hands."What makes you think that Loki? If none of wanted you here then I wouldn't have told you about this trip. " She giggled making him let a small smile creep on his face. "You're right where you belong and if anyone isn't happy about you being here then just know that Thor and I are ecstatic to have you here. I'm glad you came, means a lot to me."

"Means a lot to know that you want me here Y/N." Loki's small smile went to a big one. Y/N slowly moved her hand to his hair. He watched her slow movement in amusement "No Y/N." She huff playfully giving up.

"Fine, I'll try another time but I'm happy that I made you smile. You're way easier than Bucky's serious ass. Now that's out the way, it's hot girl summer so no sadness from no oneee!!" Y/N exaggerated getting out of the chair going back over to the refrigerator. She pulled out that now cold pitcher, chugging down the concoction.

"Did I hear Y/N say something about a hot girl summer?" Steve rubbed his eyes while he walked downstairs. Y/N rubbed her mouth from the leftover drink on her lips. Steve furrowed his eyebrows at the now half-empty pitcher. "What's that?"

"Nothing! Don't even stick your nose in it." Y/N put the pitcher back. Steve looked at Loki who just shrugged his shoulders with confusion still written on his face. Y/N placed a rushed kiss on their cheek so they wouldn't smell the amount of alcohol she just consumed. "I'm going to get ready so we can go to the beach. Steve wake everyone up for me please so we can leave in the next 30 minutes."

"Okay Y/N," Steve replied ready to question her but she was already up the stairs. 20 minutes later Y/N had music blasting from the speakers while she ready. From that consumption of alcohol, it kicked in about 10 minutes after she got ready. She was only tipsy, maybe. Y/N couldn't focus because she kept giggling at everything.

"Damn why is everything so funny!" Y/N said getting mad at herself. Her long black faux locs flowed down her back after she struggled to place them in a high ponytail. Meaning she broke 3 hair ties and gave the hell up.

"Y/N we're waiting on you!" Tony yelled up the stairs but Y/N waved him off. She grabbed her purse, pausing the music. Tripping over her feet a bit, she made her way downstairs. Bucky caught a glimpse and instantly spoke up.

"Oh hell no Y/N. Go change."

She waved him off too, purposely ignoring him. "I'm readyyyy". Tony crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Barnes. Y/N that isn't a swimsuit, that's two pieces of cloths."

Thor smiled, "I like it Y/N and since I like it, we can leave." He picked up a beach chair but everyone yelled no in protest except Natasha. Thor rolled his eyes sitting the chair down. Loki moved her hair aside, closing the white and blue shirt that she wore.

"Now you need a hair thingy to keep it close."Y/N smacked his hand away lightly, going over to the kitchen to find some chips. "Y/N why aren't you saying anything?" Bucky followed still upset about her outfit.

"Her outfit is fine guys. Let's go because you guys are over exaggerating." Natasha placed her shades on her face. "I got your back Y/N!"

"It's not fine, she's showing too much," Steve said being overprotective. Still not phased, Y/N nodded her head from the kitchen. " That's why you my bitch, thank you!" Everyone was shocked by her choice of words. Bucky grabbed her waist.

"Y/N are you drunk?"

Y/N giggled,"A lady never drinks, she sipssss." She dragged out the s, kissing his nose. Bucky pressed his lips together, getting his answer.

"Guys she's drunk!"

Groans went around the room. Steve was in realization,"Ohhh so that was what she was drinking when I came downstairs earlier."

------

"And it's hard to keep my cool

When other bitches tryna get with my dude and

When other chickens tryna get in my coop

'Cause you're a one in a million

There ain't no man like you"

Y/N belt out the lyrics to Streets for the 13th time while Bucky held her in his arms while they were in the ocean. They had been at the beach for 30 minutes, and a biker went by playing that song in her speakers. Y/N haven't let go of the song since.

"Y/N if you sing the same lyrics one more time, I swear I'm going to drop you." Bucky scolded while she gripped his shoulder tighter. Y/N placed her head on his chest, the sun was getting rid of her drunkness. She was tired since she didn't take a nap like everyone else plus Bucky's heartbeat and the sound of the oceans was calming her down. "Sorry! It's stuck in my mind."

Steve, Tony, Loki, and Thor played on the beach with water guns. Natasha laid in the sun, getting a tan. Per Y/N's request, Bucky was in the water holding Y/N close. She was surprised that he even agreed to it.

"Bucky?"

"Yes Y/N?"

"I'm tired."

"I figured, let's get you out the water." Bucky turned around to walk back to the shore. Y/N just snuggled more to his chest. "Bucky?"

Bucky’s voice held slight annoyance, thinking she was playing."What is it Y/N?"

"I'm glad you came on this trip, I know this past year had been so hard on you and I thought this trip would help ease your mind. Plus I got to know you better, that’s a bonus.”

“Yeah at first, I didn’t want to come but I couldn’t turn down seeing you in a bikini.” Bucky laughed making Y/N laugh as well hitting his chest lightly. “Bucky!”

“What? I’m being honest. I just rather for only my eyes to see.”

“You’re such a flirt.”

“You going to have to get used to it. But for real though, this trip made me not think about things that's been haunting my mind. Coming on here was the best idea.”

“I’m glad I could help with that.” She tapped his shoulder for him to stop. He placed Y/N on her feet. “I’ve come up with the best plan though.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, “What’s the plan?”

——

Y/N made herself sink underwater. Bucky waited a couple seconds before putting on his best acting voice. “Guys! Guys! Y/N she’s drowning!” Natasha stood at the shore, looking out at the water in concern. The team wasted no time running in the water.

“What?!?”

“What happened??!?”

“Oh god, Y/N?!”

“Shit!”

Steve was Y/N's victim, he hunched over in her area of the water. Bucky pulled at the ends of his hair keeping the act going. “She was doing alright until I couldn’t hear her anymore.” Y/N lurched up grabbing Steve by the neck, pulling him in the water.

Bucky's face of distress turned into humor. “Steve she got you good!” Both Y/N and Steve appeared out of the water. Y/N was laughing so hard she was clutching her stomach. Loki found it amusing while Tony, Steve, and Thor didn’t.

“That was a good one Y/N.”

“Don’t listen to Loki Y/N. You had us worried!”Thor huffed and Steve nodded his head in agreement.

“Yeah! I thought something really happened to you.”

“I’m sorry guys.” Y/N snorted trying to contain her laughter. “It’s not my fault, it’s Bucky. He came up with the idea. You guys should’ve seen Steve’s face when I came out of the water.”

Steve mocked her laugh, “Ha Ha Ha. It’s not funny.” Bucky held his hand in defense trying not to laugh as well. “It’s not mine! This was all her idea.”

“Capsicle is right, it’s not funny. Don’t scare me like that again.” Tony scolded her, he held out his arms. “Now come give me a hug so I can feel better.” Y/N gave him a hug, that humorous smile not leaving her face. When she tried to pull away, Tony held a grip. She realized.

“TONY!”

He laughed leaning forward and they both fell in the water. Soon it turned into a big splashing war between everyone, they were having so much fun.

————————-

At 7:28 p.m. both Y/N and Bucky walked back to the beach for dinner. The restaurant they chose for tonight’s dinner was there. Since Y/N is over the planning for the vacation and Bucky is attached to her hip, they were at dinner first.

“I know the wait is going to be minute so sit down while I talk to the hostess.” She reassured him. Bucky looked at her kind of worried because he wasn’t comfortable with crowds yet. She squeezed his hand, “You’re okay.”

Bucky nodded his head reluctantly. Y/N walked off to make sure this restaurant gave them a private table away from the crowd, preferably on the beach. After about 10 minutes of talking, something just told her to turn around. It was some woman that looked around Y/N’s age steadily talking to Bucky even though he looked so uncomfortable.

“Hold on one sec.” Y/N held a finger-walking away, not even waiting on the hostess's response. Y/N quiet appearance kinda scared them both. “Excuse me. Hi!”

The woman looked at Y/N with attitude. “Um, why are you speaking to me?”

Y/N took a deep breath to calm down. “ I’m speaking to you because you’re talking to my boyfriend and you obviously see him uncomfortable.” It was for the sake of the moment. Bucky and Y/N aren’t together, just a few flirts here and there. But since Y/N knew this bitch couldn’t take a hint she said, boyfriend.

“You might have him confused for”

Y/N cut her off, “No I don’t have him confused for no one. That’s my boyfriend so get your desperate ass out of his face before I embarrass you in front of everyone. We don’t want that do we? Now walk away miss.”

The woman turned her nose up walking away without saying another word. Once she was out of sight, Bucky visibly relaxed. “Thank you so much Y/N. She wouldn’t stop talking and my a-anxiety was getting bad because I didn’t know her and...” He shook his leg. Y/N sat beside him giving him a hug.

“Hey hey calm down, it’s okay now. I could see she made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t going to stand there and let her continue to do that.”

“Thank you Y/N.”

“Anything for you Bucky.” Y/N kissed his forehead then she stood up, holding out her hand. “Now let’s go get this table because I did cut the hostess off coming to help you.”

Bucky laughed grabbing her hand. As they walked back over to the stand, realization hit Bucky. He smirked.

“So I’m your boyfriend now?”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, “No Bucky, it was in the heat of the moment.”

“What if I was to ask you out?”

“In your dreams Bucky.”

————

This took longer to write then what it supposed to be.

Hope you guys like it 🥰, I was trying to include a Loki moment because I’m starting to like him more.

Stay slutty my friendsss!

[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished  (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[taetaespeaches]

you did it! you got me upset with hobi,

DO NOT DISRESPECT MY BBY GIRL PETAL EVER AGAIN OK SIR HOSEOK? THANKS

duuuuude, one thing is the lies, another thing is wHY the liesss, BUT! does he have any idea what we felt the whole time after the conversation with peaches until he came home??

i swear that drabble got me some real flashbacks, why are men like thisssss,

it's the middle of the night and i want to rant about my ex, everytime i remember this i go feral,

ONCE UPON A TIME my ex and i were searching for a movie on his laptop, idek how we ended up on fb and i wanted to search for something there so i went to the little fb search bar and when i clicked it a list of his last searches was displayed and the first line was some girl's profile, and i swear i'm not the jealous type.. not in a toxic exaggerated way, i'm pretty chill and i hate confrontation so i don't like to make a big deal out of things, specially when i don't know the whole story

still, like a reflex, my innocent and curious ass asked "who is she?" i didn't even really care tbh it was whatever, BUT you know what he said?... he said NOTHING, he didn't answer me, Liv!

HE OPTED TO IGNORE THE QUESTION, there was no way in hell he didn't hear me, it was dead silence at night, so i stayed calm and waited a couple seconds but he just kept scrolling...

wtf ??

he literally ignored me and then "let's go downstairs and watch netflix on the living room" he said and im like "fine"... shocked

man... i was fuming, i was MAD, sad and making up the worst scenarios in my head... OBVIOUSLY!

like half hour went by and i was just sitting there while he was trying to make conversation but i was gonna make him suffer just like i was,

until he was like "stooop..." very whiny and dumBly trying to hug me, HAHA stay down bitch!

so i went like "stop what?", so cold lmao

then he started explaining that she was just some girl he remembered from church that has his same birthday or something so he looked her up, so stupid

so i went "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAID THATTTT!!!!!!"

God! i wanted to slap him so hard, honestly, he was like "I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA, MY MIND WENT BLANK, I DON'T KNOW"

and im like "YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING THIS WHOLE TIME, YOU IDIOT????"

of course he started beggin for forgiveness and i sent him to the store to bring me snacks

this is a stupid story bc the whole thing was idiotic and the more i thinkg about it someone else probably wouldn't've believe him but i did bc i know him

he's still my friend and i love him with all my heart but sometimes he's just so stupid!! like... his explanation actually made sense for him!

men...

not comparing my ex to hobi, LOL

but just like... petal, my sweetheart... -i FEEL YOU, those minutes/hours must've been HELL and im sorry but yes... we need time... and snacks

that don't mean we love you any less but the hurting is a bitch and we need to let her have a process

my rant ends here👌🏻

im ready for more angst, liv, keep them coming, i love uuu

Omg Lydia is coming in SWINGING for Petal!!! As you should! Hobi, you didn't mean to hurt your girl but you did :( No but exactly, like even though it was a misunderstanding LITERALLY WHAT ELSE WAS PETAL SUPPOSED TO THINK DURING THAT TIME???? Of course her brain went straight to "he's cheating on me" like ?!

Oh gosh your story about your ex :/ dude. just communicate that from the start!! Like honestly there are some toxic jealous people out there and he was so lucky that you just have a normal, natural amount of jealousy bc someone else would have blown up at him in that moment. Just be honest with your partners!!! Why don't men understand this?! I'm sorry you had to have that awful sick feeling even for a little bit :(

Lol I will definitely keep the angst coming soon! Gotta give Peaches her angsty moments <3

[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Previous || Next

05) Newly Found Info 

You felt a hand on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to see no other than the man that raised you. The same man who would later abandon you. This time seeing him however, he had no face. Only a smirk that stayed on his stupid face.

If you tried to touch him ever so slightly, your hand would just go through him like he was nothing but air. If you tried talking, you would feel like your suffocating. You couldn’t even move.

“I'm leaving now.” Hayashi said putting his hand off of your shoulder and leaving you alone without another word.

You tried screaming for him but you felt your neck tighten up. You were suffocating. How did this happen? What got you here? Is this even real?

***

You woke up with your heart rate over the roof and a bead of sweat trickling down your forehead. When you calmed down, you looked around to see where you were.

It was an apartment room. Near you was a clock that read 2:40. You could barely remember anything. That changed when you felt the soreness everywhere on your body. Your cheek and back felt the worse. Your legs came after.

“Fucking dreams. Fucking Hayashi...” You said slowly getting up from the couch you were laying on. “Where the fuck am I?”

As soon as you got up, your whole body collapse onto the ground. Maybe it was out of tiredness. Who actually knows. You ignored your soreness though and fully got up with the help of the walls around you.

You looked around the apartment to find a single room with the door slightly open. Curiosity got to you and you were soon going to that room. Upon further expectation, you saw someone laying down on a bed sleeping so peacefully.

When you looked closer, you saw the familiar stoic guy. His hair was messy but not to messy. His chest rose up and down with the little breaths he took. He looked so peaceful. At first you were admiring him, so this is where you were. At his apartment. When returning back to the couch Ushijima probably set you on, you felt a surge of revenge course through your body.

It was like electricity. It was like the soreness in your body was fully gone for that moment. You looked at the time and scoffed, first you grabbed your bag which was near you, you made sure it had everything in it such as your keys and stash of lollipops. You then walked out of the whole apartment room and looked around. 

“hm. It seems like this whole agency has built in apartment rooms” You mumbled to yourself.

While looking around, you heard some footsteps walking towards your way. You also heard voices. You looked around to find where to hide, when you found a place, you jumped over and hid until the people passed by.

“So it seems like Ushijima and Tendo got that car dealer huh?” One of the guys said.

The other one chuckled. “Yeah, he’s in a cell at that prison center not to far from here. He’s under the bosses supervision”

There was your answer to finding Yosho. After the two men passed by, you made your move. You ran towards the elevator and went to where your bike should be. When you got there, you fished out your keys and ran to your bike which was oddly parked in a new space.

“Yosho... im coming for you” You mumbled driving away and to the prison center”

~~~

When you got to the prison center, you parked your bike and looked at it. Obviously visiting hours were long done so you looked very suspicious. When walking towards the prision, a guard happened to see you and try to take you down.

“What’s your business here?” The guard asked while pinning you to the ground. His heavy weight almost crushed you.

“Im apart of the Japan’s Defense Force... where is my boss?” You asked trying to breathe.

“Let me see your id” The guard said getting off of you and waiting.

“no need.” A voice from the distance said. 

The guard turned around with their eyes wide when they saw who it was. They quickly stood up and backed away from you. You slowly got up yourself and dusted yourself off. At first you thought it was the boss but then you saw who it was.

“Everdeen Aiko...” You said backing away. “You’re in charge of this place?”

“Sure thing. I’ve heard from your boss that he hired you.” She said putting out her hand for you to shake. You quickly took it then waited for what was going to happen next.

“Where is Yosho Ayashi. I need to have a chat with him.” You said cracking your knuckles.

Everdeen slightly laughed and started walking away. “Right this way, your boss should be there, he’s actually keeping an eye on him.”

You just nodded and followed after her. The guard that tackled you before just awkwardly stood there and watched kind of confused.

~~~

You looked at the cell. There was a metal door with tiny metal bars to act like a window you assumed.

“I guess your boss left early?” Everdeen said. “I’m also guessing that you want your private time with him. Two of the guards will be outside the door just in case anything happens.”

“Ok, thank you ma’am” You said while watching her unlock the cell. You walked in and looked at a passed out Yosho chained to the ground. The door behind you shut and you were now alone with him.

“I know you’re fucking awake. How bout you show it” You said kicking his face.

Yosho quickly opened his eyes and stared right at you. His netural face turned into a cocky one. “Well if it isn’t my 2nd favorite sadist, what you just did to me right now reminded me of Hayashi”

You scoffed and grabbed a nearby chair. You set it in front of him, just away enough for him not to touch you. You then sat down.

“You’re trapped with nothing but your past regrets” You said rubbing your cheek. There was a bruise that was slowly forming. It made Yosho feel superior. “Now tell me Yosho... what do you know about Hayashi.”

In The Morning

“I know you snuck off y/n” Ushijima said to you.

You looked more tired than usual. You had eyebags under your eyes and your hair was slightly unkept. 

“Nah you’re bluffing” You yawned while trying to walk to the bosses office. “Why did you even put me in your apartment room... are you like some kind of perv or something?”

Ushijima’s eyes widened in disgust. He denied that claim and ignored your laughing. “where did you even go?”

You stayed quiet for a bit. You then sighed and opened the door to the bosses office. “I went to go meet with Yosho...”

“Why would you do that?” Ushijima said grabbing your wrist to make you stop what you were doing.

“why do you care? It isn’t your business” You said trying to jerk your hand away. Ushijima’s grip tightened making you almost yelp in pain. After he saw your face, he quickly let go and watched as you quickly went into the bosses room.

After everyone was in the office, the door shut closed and it was now time for the meeting to start. The boss turned around to face you and the boys in his chair. Right next to him was no other than Everdeen.

“Welcome to this short but important meeting” Everdeen said. “It’s come to my attention that we may have some info about the big man and what his current goal is”

Everdeen then looked at you.

“Thanks to the help of Y/n...”

Ushijima and Tendo looked at you. Tendo had a confused look while Ushijima looked more annoyed and mad for some reason.

“...We figured out from Yosho that there are many trucks going around Japan in secret to deliver these awful drugs” 

The boss then continued. “You three will be on another mission to locate one of the trucks and track it down to it’s source.”

You yawned and rubbed your eyes. “and what if we fail? Isn’t that a possibility?”

The boss looked at you. His eyes were like an eagle’s eyes. How they could pierce through a soul without saying sorry. “If you guys fail, everyone will be replaced”

Tendo and Ushijima tensed up while you just yawned again and nodded. Everdeen chuckled at your actions then stood up.

“This can take up to a day or a week. You guys decided” She said. “You guys are now dismissed. Start the mission as soon as possible please, don’t procrastinate”

Just like that, you and the boys were out of the bosses room and heading to nowhere. Just when you were about to walk away, Ushijima stopped you. You groaned in annoyance as you already knew what he was going to ask.

“Why did you go to see Yosho?” He asked, his tone demanded an answer. “You know I can’t let you out of my sight.”

“You’re like a possesive boyfriend, get off my case” You said while rolling your eyes. “I just wanted to get the info out of his damn mouth... the boss said he used to associate with the big man right?’‘

Ushijima nodded. 

“Yeah that’s why. I wanted more info about this huge druggie” You said with a mocking tone. 

The Night Before (flashback)

“I won’t tell you shit.” Yosho said moving slightly in pain.

You had just kicked him again. It made you feel better but a part of you still felt empty. “Fucking tell me or else I’ll slit your throat” you said.

“You really are like Hayashi...” Yosho laughed while leaning against the wall of his cell. “I was right.”

“Wrong. I’m doing it for justice, he’s doing it for whatever the fuck he wants!” You said over exaggerating your hand movements.

Yosho coughed. “So what? Are you like the good guy now?” He then clinked his chains. “Don’t act like you don’t remember your past. You were just as bad-“

“He framed me... and you know it” you said walking up to him. “Him and Tadashi.”

Yosho stayed quiet. He then looked to his side and layed down. “So I guess we are kind of alike”

“I’m never going to be like you.” You spat.

“Stop denying it and listen” Yosho cut in. His voice loud and clear. “You and me... were both abandoned by the person we cared about the most...”

“Shut up” you said trying to kick him again but this time, he caught your food and pushed you back. This made you fall on the cold hard ground. The pain from your sore limbs came back.

Suddenly, you heard the door open behind you followed by a gun being cocked. You looked to see your boss. He avoided his eye contact with you and kept it on Yosho.

“Y/n... I’ll tell you everything I know... in return, you and I make a promise” he said sitting up and looking at you.

You looked back at Yosho and looked at how serious he looked.

Flashback End

“He gave me the info about the trucks and how they roam.” You said to Ushijima.

After a long moment of silence, you sighed.

“Now I’m going back to the boss to ask for my own apartment room.” You said while walking passed him. “See you later.”

As you walked back into the bosses office, Tendō tapped Ushijima’s shoulder making him tense up a bit.

“Are you always going to keep an eye on her 24/7?” Tendō asked while smirking.

Ushijima looked away from his friend and at the bosses door. The door you opened to go through.

“Yes.”

Taglist

@toaster-stick @ashydoesdumbstuff

[fairycosmos]

chloe can I have some advice? last night i went to a party and i had my first kiss (like w tongue and stuff. honestly it was pretty shit) w this guy. except i was v v drunk and he kinda kept following me and at one point i broke it off and said i was gonna pass out (i was) and he sat me down and then did it again and like. im wondering now if there weren't any ppl there and we were alone whether or not he would've tried to go further and i don't know if I'm exaggerating/making a big deal of it

oh my godddd literally what the fuuuuck :/ i’m so so sorry you had to experience that. i can tell you with more certainty than i’ve ever had in my life that you are NOT overreacting, and you’re not making a big deal out of it. it is a big deal, okay. this dude took advantage of you when you were in a vulnerable state and tried to force his presence onto you even when you were clearly uncomfortable. thats so fucking disgusting and so far beyond unacceptable, i cant even begin to articulate it. like. nobody can tell you how you’re supposed to react to something like this, and you don’t have to police yourself or carry a guilt that isn’t yours. you’ve done nothing wrong. repeat it as many times as you need to, because no matter what your mind is telling you, that is the ultimate fact of the matter. look, since this all happened just last night, i’m sure everything feels super overwhelming and scary right now. you dont have to know what to do next, you just have to move forwards one hour at a time. i know how it is when you get drunk and shit happens and the next day you wake up not knowing how the fuck to get up and carry on. you’re definitely not alone on that one. it’s completely natural for your emotions to be all over the place, and it’s okay to feel whatever you need to feel. if you have to cry, then cry. if you have to get mad, get mad. if you want to write your feelings out, or get some rest and take some time, then so be it. worrying about what could’ve happened is an instinctive response to fear for a lot of people, it’s uncontrollable. but that thought process will stop occurring as frequently as you begin to confront and accept your feelings, as you put some time and distance between yourself and the circumstances.  i think the main priority now should be to just take care of yourself for today, thats all. slowly begin to acknowledge what happened, in your own time. theres no rule book or set schedule for dealing with something like this, you can do it at your own pace in your own way. as long as you’re doing what you can to understand that the dude was a fucking creep and that you are not in the wrong. i also think it could really help for you to talk about this with someone you trust. i know that’s a daunting idea, but it’s just that, an idea. your brain may want to push it away, but self isolation only makes things harder and more disorienting in the long run. you dont have to do anything rn, and it’s entirely your choice, but know that the option is always there for you to come back to. try not to discard it entirely, ok? even if you just start with writing down your feelings, or telling a friend/family member you need some support. it’s easier to accept things when you can lean on others, and they can help you decide where you want to go from here. it really is alright to say it out loud. doesn’t have to be today or even any time super soon, but like i said, you’re not in this alone. a lot of people can relate, maybe even some of your loved ones will. you deserve so much better than what you’ve been through. i promise the awful shock of it will subside and you WILL be able to recuperate and recover, especially if you give yourself the tools to do so i.e self care and opening up when you’re ready and if you want to. also as a sidenote, the first kiss usually IS pretty shit. the real first kiss happens when you’re with someone you care about and you’re comfortable, even if it’s not your literal first time, it’s the first one that matters - and you will find that, theres no rush. anyway, i really hope you’re able to treat yourself with patience and kindness as you begin to overcome this. again, just cos i want to stress it, you’re not overreacting. you’re having a normal human response to a shitty situation, and a shitty person. you dont need anyones permission for that. im sending a lot of love your way. please let me know if you need a friend!! take care lovie