#i'm not saying i don't have some fault

[jerzwriter]

Hey there, so I am just a choices-adjacent lurker, and I've been following the Elsa/Jared drama for some time now. I don't know either of you personally. And from what I've seen, I have come to the conclusion that this situation is solidly an Every Sucks Here situation. Maybe this is not my place to say, but honestly for everyone's sake involved in the fandom, Jared complaining about you on their blog daily and you ignoring and/or vaguing lim is honestly not productive. So here's my take on things. (I am sending a slightly tailored version of this to Jared as well)

JARED: Elsa is not walking evil. In fact, she does a ton of work for this fandom for free. "Who let her have this power over our fandom by running the fic account" no one did. She saw something she could do to help the fandom, and she did it. If she wasn't doing it, then we wouldn't have a choicesficcreations blog and there would be no fic archive. She certainly spends UNPAID hours every single week curating fic lists, going through tags, and organizing fandom fics to encourage people to keep producing. Constantly complaining about her and how horrible she is isn't helping anyone, it will just make her angrier at you and even less likely to listen to your grievances. Yes, the Open Heart fandom is extremely active and yeah, it's mostly cishet MCs, but that doesn't make anyone "evil" if they're creating that way. It's probably mostly cishet players who are projecting onto their MCs so it's enjoyable for them, the same way you want to project onto your characters, and that looks different for everyone. As long as no one is actively sending you anon hate or shitting on you for your character interpretations or ships, then it's okay. They're not evil for not liking or reblogging your trans Ethan art if that's not something they feel drawn to, just like you're not evil for ignoring the twelfth fmc x ethan pregnancy fic of the week. People should create and interact with what makes them feel happy and if you see something you don't like, scroll past. It goes both ways. The truth is that most of the OH art and fics are cishet because that's what most of the active creators are. I don't know how we got here, but that is what it is, and current creators aren't terrible for creating cishet fics and art, and they aren't obligated to like or reblog your takes on the characters. But guess what, you have wonderful friends who enjoy your takes on the characters, so appreciate that. Make art for them, create stories for people in your niche. If anyone attacks you for doing that, they suck. Someone saying on their own blog "I don't ship Ethias" is not attacking you. Someone saying on their own blog "Ethias is incest because they're brothers" is gross and should be called out.

ELSA: Just buckle down and apologize. You hurt someone. Multiple someones, apparently, based on that call-out post. That doesn't make you irredeemable because everyone says and does things that hurt people, even if they have the best of intentions. But acknowledge the fact that if there is a pattern of queer people feeling hurt and unwelcomed by the fandom, and that with your influence in the fandom, you are partially responsible for that unwelcoming atmosphere. Acknowledge the fact that you have a big platform and a ton of followers and friends who love and respect you, and will see what you do and use that to guide their own behavior. You probably didn't send anons off to attack Jared intentionally, but you need to take responsibility for that because your vague-blogging and so forth inspired people to try to defend you, and they attacked someone else on your behalf. Your apology shouldn't be to use them as a scapegoat, like "I NEVER condone anon hate, y'all are terrible and not affiliated with me" it should be, "I don't condone anon hate and think it's wrong, and am so sorry that my thoughtless post emboldened other users to think that using anon hate was a justifiable response to defend me." This is the responsibility that comes with having a big following. I know that you're bi and that's great. That doesn't mean that you have experience with every single facet of the LGBTQIA+ community. You are a bi woman. That does not make you an expert on what's hurtful to a trans person, a gay or bi man, an acespec person, etc. So listen to people when they try to tell you if something was hurtful and apologize. The last thing you should do is double down because when you do, it becomes clear that you care more about how you are perceived and being RIGHT than being kind. And I think that you truly are a kind person who wants to do good and make the world a better place. So basically, take some responsibility for this issue. You're an adult with a platform. Learn, do better, listen, and apologize. And make an active effort to support queer and trans creators who may feel alienated by this fandom at times. With your influence in the fandom, you have the capacity to make this a better place for everyone but that will never happen if you continue to hide behind a mask of "positivity" and believe yourself to be the victim of a smear campaign, without recognizing your role in all of this.

That's all I really had to say. I understand if you don't want to publish this but I really think that if this were AITA the right answer would be ESH. I hope that something I said is helpful and can help set this conflict to rest.

Nonny, I wasn't going to reply because I did not want to give this insanity any oxygen, a space, or a platform. But since line after line was crossed, I had no choice but to do so. So, since I did, I have no reason to not answer you any longer.

Here is my message regarding the things they posted about me that I have seen because, admittedly, I have not seen it all.

If someone stalks your blog for almost a year and pulls at every word you say... they'll find things that are wrong. Trust me, we can look at theirs for 5 min and find PLENTY of things that are wrong. Am I saying I'm perfect? I've never made a mistake? Never said anything stupid? Never had something to learn... or unlearn? No, I am not.

And I am willing to talk to anyone here, not talk, but listen. If I have hurt them, I will have the conversation, and I will apologize, and I will do better. But I will not apologize to people who have been actively bullying me, telling me to KM, telling me to enjoy my s*icide, telling me they wish I would die, and I won't even get into the horrific anons because I cannot prove they came from them - but ironically came in at the same time this other vile shit was posted. Nonny, you cannot think on any planet that acting like that is OK. If I hurt them or anyone else, it was unintentional, and I'm happy to be corrected and learn. That is NOT what has taken place in reverse. They are not the only people in the world with mental health issues; "big blogs" have them, too. (Besides, what's a big blog in a fandom of 10? Trust me, I've gotten much hate because of their intentional posts.)

If you think I'm such a horrible person? Check out the conversation. It's fully posted now.

Do you want me to apologize? I DID with J's freaking seal of approval - it's all in the conversation.

When they decided - without telling me - it was no longer good enough for them - they did not reach out to me like they promised, the public hate campaign was restarted . And that's what it has been, a public hate campaign. Do you think Tumblr gives a shit about me or J? They don't. J's blog was taken down because they violated terms over and over and over again. Should I apologize again, so in a month they change their mind again? And start this shit all over again? Sorry, I gave J a chance. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Let's not Donald Trump "good people on both sides" this. NO. I did not start this (J admits that in our conversation). I have posted about this ONE FREAKING TIME vs. their hundreds of times. I tried to rectify it, I apologized. If I hurt anyone, it was completely unintentional; theirs is intentional, and anyone with reasonable comprehension skills can see that.

Oh and for the record, I don't fucking "vague". I'm not an asshole. If I post a fucking life quote and someone sees themself in it - that's on them, not me. Because they are NOT posted to target and I posted shit like that long before this bullshit started. I will SAY when I have something to say... I don't play those games.

You're right, I've given a lot to this fandom, but I'm fucking done. I'm not perfect, but I TRY to be kind, welcoming, I try to support and help - and then there is the otherside. All hate vitriol and never being kind to anyone outside of their friends. Like do SOMETHING positive. SOMETHING constructive. This here is no contribution.

Like everyone here, I'm flawed, and I'm imperfect. UNLIKE everyone here, I'm willing to admit my mistakes, I'm willing to learn, and I am NOT FUCKING WILLING to treat people the way this little group has treated me. Want to discuss hurt? Like this shit hasn't been hurtful. And the anons, babe, I won't even share them they're so disgusting.

So me and my 10 active followers are the problem? Come now. Maybe if others tried being decent people, they'd have more followers themselves.

I'm done with this.

Oh, wait, one more thing. Stop with the why don’t you try supporting queer creators. It’s embarrassing for you. Because in addition, being a queer creator myself, I have and I do support queercreators. I have fucking collaborated with queer creators. I created the LGBTQ archive, so it would be easier to find LGBTQIA works. What exactly is it that you would like me to do. If you’re going to accuse me of something accuse me of something I actually did because supporting queer creators is something I do, and that’s very verifiable.

[riamuverse]

If yall genuinely think the victim or media they enjoy/theme after is to blame for being groomed/abused and not the abuser/groomer then there's seriously some reflecting you need to do 😭

[triangular-static]

now that i've lured all 5 of you here with discussion of the triangle have some sketches of me figuring out how i want to draw mabel. mabel appreciation squad always and forever

oh and bill's still here too

[cerise-on-top]

Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!

Nikolai as a Father

First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.

He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.

I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.

A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.

Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.

If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[virtualcarrot]

I think stanning them is the single most boring thing you can do to a character.

Like, I love Iruka. Iruka's my blorbo from my manga since my teens. He's a caring adult who used to be a conflicted kid hiding his sorrow with laughter, what's there not to like? Him speaking his mind about the chuunin exam spoke to me for extremely relatable reasons. He's my projection character.

And you know what? There's nothing more interesting to me than exploring his faults. Please let's discuss his lack of self-control, getting so riled up during the chuunin exam nominations. Let's talk about his failures with regards to Sasuke, who had good grades and didn't act out so Iruka didn't pay him much mind even though Sasuke should have been flagged as a traumatized child. Iruka playing favorites. Iruka using his connections to keep playing favorites because he's worried... about his favorite. Iruka not fitting the shinobi mold. Iruka being lame. Iruka who spent years being a stern teacher to Naruto and apparently didn't think worth mentioning that he saw and appreciated Naruto's efforts until it was almost too late. Iruka failing.

Anyway, stanning is the single most boring and unproductive and dishonest thing you can do to a character

[chipistrate]

People really need to give Steel Wool a break sometimes, man- They messed up with Security Breach and now people act like EVERYTHING wrong with modern fnaf is all exclusively their fault when it's really not.

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[humanmorph]

austin should just never say what vibe a season is going for ever again because i keep seeing people referencing him talking about palisade as a hopeful season (as something they're aiming for, at least) & well. how it didn't really shake out that way. people including me btw i have thought about this many a times (probably most during the questlandia game post Oh-You-Know-What happening!)

edit: where tf did he even say that because it was not the playlist thing like i thought. unless i just missed it 3 times

[chiimeramanticore]

[yuckydraws]

(Click for better quality)

Healing & Growth

(gif made by my friend @robanilla-arts is below - slight warning for flashing! Thanks again, Rob!)

[the-indie-owl]

Does anyone else get that Unfortune Feeling that maybe the Writers who worked on "Rio 2" weren't smart enough to expand more on Blu and Jewel's relationship the right way and now people are ending up gonna doing some Math?

[brittlebutch]

it does feel a little bit like. those posts that go 'the only way to get through life is to go out and meet people and make friends and be in a community etc etc etc',,, i'm not saying they're fundamentally Wrong but also it does kind of feel like those people have never endured the horror of going to community after community after community and being quietly excluded from all of them for the crime of being Too Weird, sorry to say it. sometimes when people reply 'it isn't that easy' they're not just being tar pits, sometimes it really Isn't that easy

[irritablepoe]

You know what's fucking stupid? The little mean voice inside my head that tells me being in a fandom is childish and "aren't you too old for that" and "aren't you feeling ridiculous caring (and projecting) so much for/onto fictional characters" bc literally no MUM, I'm in fact just doing what I love and it's cruel that I feel ridiculous to this day that I'm building up my personality through fictional characters bc I never knew who I really was and fandoms are giving me the opportunity to explore that. Yes ofc that's not "normal" or whatever but is it really that bad? Like I'm feeling better through that, it's giving me motivation to do things. So yeah... Thanks.. another reason I have to unlearn shame I suppose.

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them