#i'ma just... post this now ig

[whowantslovergirl]

Why are you here?

Nate Jacobs x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: a lil bit of smut, suggestive lyrics ig, there is so much song fics i deeply apologize, cursing, this is before Maddy but they’re in junior year already, so like beginning of junior year, Y/N HAVING THE MOST SELF RESPECT, Nate Jacobs, mgk song 🤠,italics are flashbacks,^ this means start the song 💋 hope you enjoy my lovers 🤍

euphoria masterlist

Summary: Nate and Y/N are so bad for each other

posted: February 12,2024

Nate and Y/N broke up two months ago and Nate still thinks they’re together. She can never move on. He definitely cannot move on. They are terrible for each other and they know that but they still find each other. ^

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

You were at some random party. Maddy forced you to come. You were having fun until you saw him, your ex, on some other girl grinding on her. You can’t be mad. You had a date but still why is he with another girl.

_____

It was 12:05 you guys were both in the bathroom.

Fucking.

You can’t believe you did this.

“I can’t believe I did this! Get out of me Nate!” He finished and you were freaking out. You put your hands on your face freaking out. The main reason you were mad is because this is not the first time this happened.

“Calm down Y/N it’s not that serious.”

“To you! I promised myself that this bathroom thing will not happen again!” You rushed out of the bathroom leaving him.

I'm not myself

I'm not myself when you're around, no

Can't be helped

We are insane, that's just the way it goes

Nate and Y/N are back together for the tenth? time and it’s good for now.

Until you saw him with Maddy.

_____

“Maddy, Nate? Are you serious?”

“It’s not that serious Y/N.”

“You always say that! But if it was my ex you would be throwing a bitch fit!”

and he did.

**Flashback**

“Why the fuck were you talking to him!” Nate was screaming because you talking to your ex.

He accidentally bumped into you and said sorry and you said it’s fine.

That was the whole conversation.

“I’m sorry is two words talking now?! All I said was it’s fine!”

“Bullshit!”

You rolled your eyes. “Unbelievable Un fucking believable!”

**End of Flashback**

I'm a demon in the night

She's an angel with the white

Told me keep on all the lights

I'ma show you what you like

Two months later. Everyone is at a party.

And Nate is trying to get back together again.

“Come on you know we’re perfect for each other!”

“No we’re really not Nate. Please leave me alone. I have pepper spray and a pocket knife in my bag.” Then you walked away trying to leave.

Help you put back on your clothes

Make sure nothing's on your nose

Ain't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows

“We’re really not right?” Nate said smirking. The bathroom shit happened again.

“Shut the fuck up Nate.” You said rolling your eyes. He can see you struggling with your dress and helps you.

“Oh I bet you’re gonna brag about this huh? ‘Oh yea I fucked her again!’ right?”

“I actually never told anyone about this.” You just roll your eyes and left. That is such bullshit.

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

“Fuck!” You said finishing. He groaned and slipped out of you. “We really need to stop this nonsense Nate.”

“Why Y/n? Nothing is going wrong.”

“To you Nate! I promised myself I wouldn’t do this shit with you again!” He tried to speak but you just left. He smirked and left slightly after.

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

“We can never be friends. We are way past that point.” You said while in Nate’s room. He asked if you guys can talk and you said yes.

“Yea friends don’t do what we do.” He said laughing.

“This isn’t funny Nate! We’re done. I’m done.” You said trying to walk out but he grabbed your arm. “If you’re done why was I inside you last night?”

“Ugh you’re an asshole!”

“I know. So I’ll see you in the bathroom Y/n.” You didn’t say anything and left like always.

I couldn't cry

I need to smoke, I'm feeling sick inside

From seeing you next to a friend of mine

We didn't speak but I read your mind

Both telling lies, our alibis didn't work this time

It’s been six months since you guys last fucked in the bathroom. And you’ve been taking care of yourself not worrying about Nate. You’re with McKay just talking, not anything special just catching up as two friends.

Nate saw this and just walked out, mad that you’re not talking to him or laughing with him. He’s so fucking angry.

I'm a demon in the night

She's an angel with the white

Told her keep on all the lights

You can show me what you like

“Hey angel.” You jumped because you didn’t know he was in there, in your room. “Nate get out.”

“You know you don’t want me to do that. I just wanna see you.”

“Well I don’t want to see you so get out.” He starts getting closer and the back of your knees hit the bed causing you to fall on the bed. He slowly comes on top of you and starts kissing, biting, and licking your neck.

“Nate stop.” You said pushing him away.

“You don’t really want me to stop do you?” You just stay silent and he takes off your shirt then his own.

“Ima show you what you like baby.”

Help me put back on my clothes

Make sure nothing's on my nose

Can't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows

Nate and Y/n are now dating (again) but secretly this time. You didn’t want the backlash from your friends and Nate was going with it because you told him too. He couldn’t give less of a fuck.

You guys are about to go to a party but got occupied with each other. Before you were about to go. “Wait Nate, you have stuff on your nose.” You said as you wipe the ‘stuff’ off his nose.

“Thanks baby.”

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

Nate and Y/n broke up again. They were at a party, saw the other with someone else, 12:05 hit the clock and they were back in the bathroom.

“We really need to stop Nate!”

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

You were calling Nate seeing if he’s busy and he picked up immediately.

“Hey angel.” You roll your eyes. “Hi Nate.”

“Why are you calling me?” You can hear the tiredness in his voice but you ignore it.

“I was saying that it’s over like forever. And I’m probably gonna go back but I just want some type of closure.”

“Ok…” He sat up in his bed and was about to say something but you beat him too it. “So bye Nate.”

Yeah, I know that I said I was at home

Okay, yeah, you caught me

I thought that you said you were all alone

Look at you lying

You’re at another party and you saw Nate. He said he was home. You walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder and he turned around looking like he seen a ghost. “I thought you were home Nate. I want to talk to you.”

“Don’t pin this on me Y/n. You said you were all alone. Look at you lying.”

“Shut the fuck up. Now come on I want to fuck you one last time before I actually end this.” His mouth opened a little bit but he smirked.

“Lead the way angel.”

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

After you guys were done. You sat on the sink and he sat across from you on the bathtub.

“Were you serious about you ending things for good?” He said breaking the silence. You just nodded and his head went in his hands.

“I really hate the way you make me feel Nate. We gotta end this for good. The only reason it didn’t happen sooner was because you didn’t want to end. You gotta let go Nate.”

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends

After you told Nate that it was over, he went completely MIA, missing classes, not going to practice. He can’t even fathom that this is happening. He thought you guys were forever.

That Y/n and Nate were forever.

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

An: HSIEJDIDJ ok but if you didn’t get the time placement THIS IS BEGINNING JUNIOR YEAR meaning that it just started so basically Y/n was Nate’s villain origin story 😔 BUT HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERS 🤍🤍

[chaosabound]

More Au stuff yippee

Btw this gonna go from normal to Gay (specifically Frieza x Frost. It's stuck in my head now). In the name of pride month ig

Idk, just enjoy the art and don't kill me-

Book! I wonder what got him so concerned

Just a tired guy.

The beginning

This definitely won't change-

Now

...nvm.

And now... GAY PEOPLE YIPPEE

Literally just Frieza x Frost... I've become too fond of this ship man.

Oh yeah, then there is out of pocket Bf. Didn't plan to put this, but it's so in line with his character I have to

Btw Frost's face is a reference to the face Pico makes in weekend 1 so yeah.. also he took off the hoodie cloak thing I gave him.

Idk what else to say. My motivation has been all over the place, and I've been working on other projects. also, if this gets enough attention, I might make a text post about headcanons about the au ig. Idk man all that counts is that I'm better and probably won't be yeeted to space for this. I swear if something comes of this I'm gonna... idk actually. Idk I'ma be autistic.

[thefootnotes]

Rise and Fall Of A Midwest Princess - First Listen

Before I Listen... I know next to nothing of Chappell's music. All I know is she's a queer person from America, and I'm pretty sure she's from a red state? And she likes to make big! statements about queer people in red states (go her honestly). And also that some of her lyrics are questionable. So! I am in my bedroom with my headphones, a clear floor ready for dancing, and this tumblr post pre-formatted for my thoughts on each song. Cannot wait!!!!! Getting started now.

P.S. I'm using a four-step-scale: skip, playlisted, green heart, life altering

Feminominon

oh thats funky. thats-

the stuttery piano in the back is gorgeous

the backing vocals!!!!!

oh oh oh the. the production wow

okay um. the switch lmao

GET IT HOT LIKE PAPA JOHNS

i love the melodies in the verses

lo *hiccup* ver

can you play a song with a fucking beat she fucking ate that

oh like a talking bridge???

the scream oml

ok so that was. interesting.

not the best lyricism i've ever heard but it was vibey?

idk, i didnt love it.. not the strongest start to the album imo but. i'ma keep going!

skip

Red Wine Supernova

acoustic?

nope ok

oh thats gay alright

agh the vocals????

"fell in lvoe with the tyhought of you now im choked up face down burnt out" ????? bitch slay

AGH THE VOCALS

RED WINE SUPERNOOOOVAAAAAAAAA

the lyrics have some interesting choices but she ate

okay yeah not playing this around my parents.

baaaabyyyy why dont you come oooooveeeeeer

okay im vibing

the "okay yall, lets pick it up now" is so gdsklfjdlkfjdslkfjdslfdsj

i really like that she's used very obviously country elements and accents but kept true to pop production. its so fun

CROWD VOCALS MY BELOVED

CROWD VOCALS OVER ACOUSTIC MY FUCKING BELOVED

green heart

After Midnight

oh thats. interesting

sick beat though

some really interesting sounds happening. in my ears.

dancing DANCING IM DANCING

i lvoe the use of crowd vocals on this album????

"i kinda wanna kiss your gf" "i kinda wanna ksis your bf" bisexual? i've heard that she's demi too actually

THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT THIS IS A VIBE FOR THIS PANSEXUAL SLUT

who has two thumbs and is vibing *points thumbs at myself* this guy!!!!!

holy fuck that was just so. fun

green heart

Coffee

PIANO?????

PIANO TRACK????

SAD?????????

agh her voice jdfslkjfdslkfjdskl

oh my god. oh my god

"i'll meet you for coffee cause if we have wine youll say that you want me i know thats a lie"???????? BARS

im going to cry this is sickening

THE BRIDGE

THE BUILDYP ADN TEH BACKING VOCALS OH OH OH

oh.. the. the resolve is. oh

emotional destruction. i need a minute.

life altering

Casual

this is the one about someone eating her out isnt it. *sigh* here we go

^ i say taht like i dont love songs about sex. anyways

oh this is. this is interesting

i love the synthing throughout the album

this is so much. slower than i expected????

oh this is actually kind of sad at the same time???? jfkdsjflkdsjflksdj

the bridge? i. i died

this is actually really beautiful. if impossible to play around my parents

green heart

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

this is so. drag queen coded????

the beat???

the gasps fdsklfjsdklfjdslk

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

dancing im dancing

im up im up im up

this is pop like pop hasnt been in a decade. good lord

FJDKSFJSDKLFJSLKDJFSLKJ AHHHHHHHHHHH

ultimately just. a strong sapphic-meets-girl power anthem. wow. im truly so impressed.

playlisted

HOT TO GO!

i know the dance but i've never heard it

oh oh what the fuck is that oh fdsklfjdslkfjdslkfj

like the wind chimey noise

oh this sounds so. rocky horror??

H-O-T-T-O-G-O YOU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO

fdjs,lfjdslkj vibes

shes pop-girlie-ing like very few pop girlies have pop-girlied. just. pop anthem. absolute pop antehm

i lvoe the ad-libs

we're officially halfway. lets go.

playlisted

My Kink Is Karma

i have heard Things about this track so. lets go ig

oh oh?? oh

thats very ldr. i dont like ldr as a person but musically this feels a bit ldr.

ah the high vocals

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT THE THE THE

"my kink is watching yOOOOOU" fklgjdsklfsdjklfjdsklJKLFJDSKLFJDSLKFJSDLKFJDSLKFJDSLKFJDSLKJDS

"no need to be hateful in your fake gucci sweater" djskfjdskfjs

this is so twisted and im so here for it

the vocals are just insane. im sat. im so sat

green heart

Picture You

oh her voice i-

that nostalgic chord progression is so. jfkldjfls

backing vocals abcking vocals gjdfksjsdklfjdslk

oh this is sad but horny but sad

the vocals im shook. my gob is smacked. my flabber is gasted. my be is wildered. how do i live after this

im literally just dead

green heart

Kaleidoscope

oh no is this sad too????

i love the electro production over the piano? its gorgeous

her voice is just beautiful. its just so beautiful

how it works, i'll never know....

im just going to sit in the corner and fucking sob

sorry theres so few notes i was too busy fucking crying

life altering

Pink Pony Club

i have heard this exactly once. (i was at a festival on friday and they played this between sets - i couldnt hear chappell or the production over the crowd tho so. its ok

is this just the universal queer experience actually

GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONT YOURE A PINK PONY GIRL AND YOU DANCE AT THE CLUB

the bridge i...

this is lowkey a very sad and very real experience for so many queer people and. fdjskfjdslfjsdlkfjdslkj

this was vibey and i loved the statement!!

playlisted

Naked In Manhattan

oh dear is this about sex

oh??????

"boys suck" :(

ok this is gay sex then

"in new york you can try things" 🤝 "you can want who you want, boys and boys, and girls and girls"

i mean it was ok? she has much stronger songs on the album lyrically and musically and this one was just kind of. there lmao. not really a thing for me

skip

California

acapella intro okayyyy

oh this is sad

YOU HAVE REASONS TO STAY NOW CHAPPELL. YOU HAVE REASONS. YOUVE MADE IT.

"to think i almost had it going, but i let you down" :(

the music industry is such a fucking bitch yk

i really liked it, v v sad, but probably not my favourite favourite? still really strong track, js a lil repetitive

playlisted

Guilty Pleasure

last track lets go

the very minimal backing with all the vocal flooding is so fdlsjflks

oh never mind.

it feels kinda icdiwabh-y

yodelingcore

so that was. an experience

skip

The Album.

overall, the album had a lot lot lot of huge positives and a few little things i wasnt a fan of. it's a really strong pop album, it has everything you could expect in an album. its got diverse emotions and vibes and its got pop anthems and its got stuff to dance to and stuff to cry to and stuff you can do both to and it all flows seamlessly. there were two, three tracks i didnt fall in love with, but there were far more that i did. i absolutely applaud chappell because this album beautifully captures her struggles nad successes, a lot of which are somewhat universal for queer people. i really loved her use of crowd vocals and backing harmonies, i thought that was really beautiful, and i love how there was electronic production on acoustic instrumentation, i thought that was quite impressive and really fit this modern theme of like, the return of 80s production. i'm going to have another listen to some songs and them im going to listen to gracie abrams tsou album (which i still havent heard) so!!! if you want to see my thoughts on that, i'll post that in a few hours. also just posted my hmhas first reactions<3

[siren-darkocean]

Oh hey not Mata Kids AU time but New Atera Headcanons!

Yeah I had a thing with celebrations that would happen in New Atera post Journey's End events so I thought to share it with the Bionicle community on Tumblr for those who wanna use any of them too!

Around the time the unity between the Agori and the Matoran occurred in the past, every year there's a "holiday" ig you'd call it where everyone in New Atera have a week long celebration in honor of that unity and the defeat of the Makuta

The week consists of seven different events that happen during each day of the week

I don't know the actual canon months, seasons and years system of Bionicle let alone Spherus Magna so I'ma just run with the Earth version bc yeah

First Day: The Day of Remembrance

The first event that happens is at night (kinda a baby ref from the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies festival in Stardew Valley bc its honestly my favorite festival in game, it's soo good even with Visible Fish and Reflections mods installed) by the shores closest to the village

Everyone gathers by/in the waves as the village leader (which my opinion I always associated with the old village leader of Bara Magna villages and the Turaga Metru(with Ackar and (maybe) Mata Nui) in their council) give a speech

The festival is to remember those who were lost due to either the Brotherhood Crisis, before Spherus Magna was reformed of the struggle or before the shattering and that their spirits (mediphorcally speaking) shall join them during the festivities in celebration of the unity

They then after a moment of silence release floating lanterns into the waves (the lanterns are bio degradable don't worry, one of their first ideas with the week long holiday, they literally got their planet more livable you think the Agori gonna polute it immediately? They may be organic but they aren't humans)

Honestly every year this always makes the stars seem to shine brighter, Mata Nui does admit he has nothing to do with that (he's honestly surprised by it every year) so everyone assumes now it's the spirits of the lost officially joining in

Day Two: The Day of Harvest of the Plentiful

The second day is where any Bo-Toa and even Mata Nui use their power to grow any if not all crops to their harvest state (idk how accurate this is bc can I roll with it please) to where a huge harvest for both the celebrations and the days to come can happen

Ik it feels wasteful of the energy for even Mata Nui but how the Agori literally struggled for food after the shattering it feels kinda natural to add this(literally I feel like even for a couple of centuries the Agori from post reforming Spherus Magna would still be antsy of low food and water due to being so used to it)

Day Three: The Day of Reminisce

During this day especially young Agori and Glatorian would gather in the village square by a bonfire as stories of events of the Toa Nuva's adventures, tales of the island and Metru Nui and even the events of rising against the Bone Hunters and Skrall United army and the final battle between Mata Nui and Makuta are told

The Turaga love this day especially because they get to put their good storytelling to good use (their good storytellers yeah, listeners? Not so much) while keeping the memories of the past alive in newer generations

When it gets to the Agori and Glatorian adventures though usually the Agori leaders take place in this but at times the younger Agori and Glatorian ask for Mata Nui and or Ackar to do the story telling (personal headcanon Mata Nui is a good storyteller like the Turaga but also is a good listener, Ackar's the same bc good green flag dad energy), they usually roll with it honestly due to how the little ones are more entranced into the story telling from the Great Spirit and Veteran Glatorian themselves

Day Four: The Day of Embers

This celebration is where people come together to put on their own performances, like a talent show but you don't need talent for it

Tahu uses this day to show off his Toa powers in more flashy ways

Takanuva always manages to drag Jaller and Halhi into either a Kohli match reenactment(when they were still Matoran of MOL Kohli match, and also making sure it's safe) or some comedy skit

Lewa always takes the opportunity to join his Le-Matoran bands (I always imagine Lewa playing the drums but you can tweak this for whatever instrument headcanon you have for him)

Day Five: The Day of Sports(bad title Ik)

Basically this day there's two events that happen in one

First is two Kohli matches, one Matoran(and Agori join as well) based one and the other a Toa based one), the Toa Kohli match does have special measurements so no one in the audience doesn't get hurt

While the second is a Glatorian fight, they do keep monitors on this one so there's no Strakk incident again like before with Ackar and no Thornraxx Launchers user

Tahu and Kopaka are banned from fighting against each other in Glatorian matches tho due to how violent they would get between the two (Both Onua and Mata Nui would have to step in to pull the two apart)

Ackar occasionally joins in on these fights but most of the time he watches, it's not he doesn't like the fighting it's just he's actually curious how good the rookie Glatorians are training and learning, this being a habit from his mentoring

There isn't a single Toa Kohli match Pohatu would be in and you bet your ass he'll try to bring Kopaka into it

Day Six: The Day of Joy

The second last day is basically a huge party with music, dancing, food and all kinds of fun

The dances are completely random they'll either be fun ones you can drag friends in for shits and giggles or they can be romantic type ones

You're not required to dance it's entirely optional, just being there is a requirement (to the dismay of Kopaka's anti social self)

Personal Headcanons I tie with this(you can ignore these bc these also include shipping ones as well):

Pohatu is always trying to get Kopaka to dance but manages to get at least one dance out of him

Lewa, Takanuva, Terix and Vastus would be dancing with the young Agori and Glatorian children (Lewa especially and would drag Onua into this as well for the fun) as Lewa would also be keeping them occupied with his Toa powers

If there's a romantic dance going on you will definitely find Mata Nui and Ackar (bc I love this ship, they're so gay for each other) dancing together and the same with Kiina and Gresh (there is no platonic explanation for these two I am sorry)

Any dance Takanuva would literally try to pull both Halhi and Jaller into (This can be taken Platonically and Romantically, polymorphous relationships for the win as a Polysexual woman, accurate polymorphous relationships representation is always welcome in my book)

Despite the state of his body, Matau will definitely be dancing (this is so him I'm sorry)

Nuju and Whenua will definitely be dancing romantic dances together (they were so married, my immediate thought when I first saw them together on screen with Legends of Metru Nui, I immediately thought they were married. I had a similar thing with Duncan Bulk and Jimi Stringer when I was 6-7 years old first watching LEGO Hero Factory), don't even try to separate them it won't work

Day Seven: The Day of Farewells

The final day is similar to the first day where they gather and release lanterns but this time to say farewell and see you next years to the spirits who joined them during the festivities

This time they gather in a huge plateau/field to release (ofc biodegradable) lanterns into the sky

Any Glatorian who have weapons do keep their weapons on them during both the first and last festivities in case of any threats that may happen

After another speech, everyone lights their lanterns, says their farewells or "see you next years" and then on the count of three they release the lanterns into the night sky

It's a moment of silence, or as silent you can get with children and even adults aweing at the sight of all the lanterns flying away

Personal Headcanons I have of this:

Mata Nui always finds himself when the lanterns release looking between the Toa Nuva and his friends, he knew it's been a long time since both the Agori and his Matoran have had peace and joy like during the festivities of the week and is grateful for their unity and glad to have the Toa help protect the Matoran and to have his friends that helped him

Vakama always finds himself looking amongst his fellow Turaga as he remembers their adventures as Toa and ofc the Hordika Venom, they've come a long way yes and had many difficulties but despite their issues he's grateful to have them around

Hot damn took two damn hours to finish this post, or a hour idk I was not focused on the time despite how late in the night it is

[joshconfirmed]

hello, Tumblr.

guess I'll start from the beginning.

hi, I'm Josh, and this is the Yet To Be Confirmed Tumblr. Yet To Be Confirmed is the name of the YouTube channel I started in 2017. back then I didn't really have a plan for it, I just wanted to post random videos, as kids do ig.

the idea of what that simple little account would become was quite literally 'yet to be confirmed'. it's poetic in a way.

2020 onwards things kinda picked up though - I made a lot of """music""", a SilvaGunner fan tourney, among other things. now, Yet To Be Confirmed has become.. not that much more, but it's a lot more than what I ever thought it could be.

now I post a lot of actually GOOD music, along with the occasional lore video. aside from YouTube I also post a lot of artworks, which sometimes get featured in my videos depending on what they are. it's all unbelievably fun. Twitter used to be the place for all of my art, but apparently that thing's going to die soon, hence the creation of this Tumblr. I'm sure you understand.

here's some art I've done this year:

feel free to ask about any of these! I have an unhealthy obsession with explaining shit

there's way more drawings from years before, but they suck ass so I'm not posting them here. you can dig around for them in my other socials if you really want to see them

but yeah, I'ma get used to Tumblr now, post all my art here, maybe make some friends. the world needs more art, more friends, and a whole lot more positivity. I hope I can provide all of those for as long as I'm on the internet!

thank you for stopping by!

[barry-j-blupjeans]

19 or 26 with barry and the birds? sorry for sending so many

26. hahaha no worries, it's not my blood

((no longer accepting but you can find these prompts here!))

--

Barry was in a strangely good mood as he staggered back into the Starblaster. It had been... what? Three months? Three and a half? It had been a while out there. Being kidnapped halfway through a mission was definitely not the way he wanted to spend this cycle but it wasn't awful. Like, Barry's been kidnapped before, but at least these people had the decency to give him water every once and a while. Overall, not a bad stay. Six-point-five out of ten stars.

Actually, maybe seven stars, because he had the Light and he was only moderately wounded. If you didn't count the emotional stuff.

But he was in a good mood nonetheless.

There were low voices talking from the kitchen area and he caught a draft of a very nice smell. Barry's stomach rumbled. He'd been eating the bare minimum for the past few months, so he was real excited to finally get some proper food in him.

"Uh, hey," Barry said, stepping into the kitchen. They were eating dinner, hell yeah. Even more of a hell yeah with the fact that they were all still alive. They stared at him. Magnus dropped his fork. "I, uh, I got the Light?"

"Oh my god," Davenport said.

"Yeah, I know it's-"

"Holy shit!" Lup said, flinging herself out of her chair. Barry stumbled slightly at the force that she threw herself at him. He laughed, only feeling slightly bruised as Lup hugged him. She pulled back, cupping his face in her hands. She looked tearful. "Barry, babe, how- I thought you died!"

"Sorry to disappoint," Barry said and she squeezed his face a little harder, shaking her head. Before she could respond, Magnus came and swooped them both up into a hug. Barry laughed again. And then there was Taako on the right, and Lucretia, and Merle, and Davenport, holy shit, he had missed everyone so much.

"Put 'em down!" Merle said. "You're not the only one who missed him, Mags!"

"Sorry," Magnus said, not sounding sorry at all. Very gently, he placed Barry back on the floor. Merle gave him a half-hug around the waist.

"Do you need like..." Lucretia grimaced, looking him up and down. "Medical attention, or like, uh. Clean clothes?"

Barry looked down at his shirt. It was extremely bloody. He had forgotten about that.

"Oh, don't worry," he said. "It's not my blood."

"I mean, that's- that's good," Lucretia laughed. "But you are kinda, uhm..."

"Gross," Taako offered. He gingerly patted Barry's shoulder and then wiped his hand off on Lup's jacket. "And sweaty."

"Very sweaty," Lup agreed.

"That's- that's fair," Barry said, not really caring at all, because he was back and Lup was here and he was alive and- "I should shower." His stomach rumbled again. "And eat probably."

"Go shower," Davenport said. "Please. We'll save you some."

"Right," Barry said. He held up the Light. "Someone should... do something with this."

"I'll put it in the lab," Lup said, taking it from him. With her free hand, she pulled him into another hug. Barry rested his face against her shoulder. "Be quick, okay? I don't want your food to get cold."

"I'll be as quick as I can," Barry said. Lup pulled back and he caught her hand, squeezing. "Missed you."

"Gross," Taako butted in again.

"Missed you too," Lup said.

[thisultralife-blog]

sweetener - a fan review

This morning 'Sweetener' by Ariana Grande came out after months of waiting. I've listened to every song -at least- twice and here are my thoughts. 

raindrops - 5/5 This song is one of the best on the album. Her vocals are amazing as usual and it's only 0:38 which makes it really good as an intro. I hope this song is used on the swt for something!

blazed - 1/5 Honestly this song just ain't it. I struggled to get through it the first time and am reluctant to listen to it again. (I'm listening to it while writing this review...) I don't like Pharell’s part, perhaps if somebody else was singing that part it would've sounded better. This sounds very similiar to a lot of the songs on Sweetener, it's nothing new and I doubt I'll listen to it after I've finished writing this. It's very repetitive and it's hard to understand what she's saying.

the light is coming - 4/5 I'm surprised that most people don't like this song! It's one of my favourites on Sweetener. I really like the message behind 'The light is coming to give back everything the darkness stole.'. It's a very uplifting song and I always find myself singing it in my head or randomly dancing to it. It is very repetitive but that's what gets it stuck in your head and gets the message across. I wish Nicki's verse wasn't just right at the very beginning - I think it's odd that she doesn't say anything for the rest of the song, not even one line. I know that they're both really busy but it would sound better if her lines were spread out through the song.

R.E.M - 4/5 This is my second favourite song on Sweetener - second only to breathin'. I like how it's slow and chilled and it's very catchy. For a 5/5 I think it should have had some high notes somewhere (maybe at the end?) because that would really suit the song. I had very high expectations for this song as she is always tweeting lyrics from it and I was not disappointed! Near the end of the song (3:30), she says "does this end?" and I hope she says that live ahaha. I really like the "bum bum bum bum bum bum" part it's really... -dreamy- . The whole song, backing track, lyrics, vocals ect are absolutely amazing and I hope there's a video for it.

God is a woman - 3/5 I'm slightly disappointed with this song. I was told we're getting a song about 'female empowerment' and honestly I'm still waiting. I don't know about you, but personally, a song with lyrics and a video like these don't empower me they just make me slightly uncomfortable. When you're not listening expecting an empowering song, it's actually pretty good. It gets stuck in my head a lot and they video is very creative. As a song, it's amazing but as a female empowerment anthem? Not quite.

sweetener - 2/5 This is probably the most disappointing song on the album. When a snippet from this leaked I hoped it was fake but unfortunately not. It sounds childish, maybe for Yours Truly this would've been good for that standard but she can do so much better. It sounds like another song - but I can't place which one - and is just really cringey. The chorus  is catchy but in a bad way, like those youtuber songs you can't help dancing to even though they're terrible. For the title track I was expecting a LOT more than childish  song like this.

successful - 4/5 When I first heard this, I was listening to the music and then her voice came in and it was hard to hear her over it. The music and vocals don't go very well together. However, I really like the message and the higher parts. I'm not 100% sure what she's singing though, usually I don't get what people mean when they say that they have no idea what she's singing but after listening to this album (or at least trying to) I get it. I had to google the lyrics to write this: the lyrics "Yeah, it feels so good to be so young And have this fun and be successful" are my favourite. I love that she is acknowledging how well her career is going without being obnoxious or rude. I was expecting this song to be either her showing off or 'she got her own' with a different name. Also, if you think I'm not going to be singing that line whenever anything goes well at school then you're very, very wrong. 

everytime - 3/5 Listening to this for the first time, I wasn't sure who it was about. I'm pretty sure it's about Mac but most songs on sweetener were recorded while they were together. The 'back to you' part is very repetitive and that seems to be the theme this era but I think it works with this song. There isn't very much to say about this song, it's  sounds almost the same as a few others. It has been stuck in my head a few times though, so that's something I guess.

breathin - 5/5 BREATHIN! This is hands down the best song on sweetener! Everybody I've spoken to has agreed that breathin is their favourite song. It has a beautiful meaning and sounds so relaxing and calming. The lyrics "You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated" got to me, I'm pretty sure it's to do with Manchester ect... The "uhm my god" parts don't sound very good in this song, maybe on a different song on the album they would've gone well. I don't really know how to explain it but this is the kind of song that makes you feel like everything is going to be okay.

no tears left to cry - 5/5 This is a bop! The second verse is my favourite, the meaning behind the lyrics is so cute and it's one of her best songs this era and overall. Her vocals are on point, the music video is so creative and filled with hidden meanings ect. The only thing is, she's really been contradicting the lyrics "We way to fly to partake in all this hate, we out here vibing, we vibing." with her latest tweets but oh well.

borderline - 1/5 I really don't like this song. After listening to it the first time it completely forgot all about it until I started writing this review. The lyrics are about the same things as most of the songs on sweetener and honestly, I'd rather have Sober, My Way or She Got Her Own instead of this. I'm surprised this song made the cut and the others didn't.  There's not much to say other than this just ain't it.

better off - 3/5 Where to start... I read somewhere that this song was scrapped from a previous album which means that it wasn't written about Mac but probably is now. I like the style of this, it goes better with her voice and is very relaxing. It's very mature sound for her and I can't wait to see it live. I think this song needed the high / whistle notes at the end like touch it maybe. (edit: While finishing this post off I saw a post about a lyric that I missed that is addressed to Mac: "I'd rather watch you smoke and drink". I think this completely inappropriate and rude. Sometimes things are just taken too far... I changed the 4/5 to 3/5 and changed some of the nice things I said (that don't make sense when you actually read the lyrics ahah).

goodnight n go - 3/5 I was so excited for this song for some reason. I don't know why but I was obsessed with the title and I can't decide if I really like it or really don't. It's very chilled and dreamy and I think it deserves a music video. From "dadada..." onwards it's absolutely beautiful and deserves so much on tour ect.

Pete Davidson - 3/5 I actually quite like this song. I don't like all the 'jokes' that he's made but this song is cute and shows their relationship from a different perspective. This whole time I've been looking at the negatives but lyrics like "I'ma be happy, happy, Won’t get no crying from me, yeah" and "My whole life got me ready for you, ooh" really show how she sees him. The whole song is an adorable love song and she seems really happy with him. Also, Arianators always say "look at her mind" ect and most don't like him so she put  "I thought you into my life, woah look at my mind, yeah." into a song about him. What a power move.

get well soon - 4/5 At the end of the song it's silent and I was listening to it for the first time while on ig so I thought it was over but when I went onto spotify to start the album again, I saw that there was a silence to make the song 5:22 minutes long. The Manchester Arena attack was on 22/5/17 (5/22 if you're American) and this was a really subtle way to  show that she still thinks of them all the time and this song is about them. I think that the fact that this song is very upbeat works well because like ntltc she's trying to find light in the situation and move on / finally be happy ect. She also talks about being at 'the top' and how "there's so much wrong at the top".

Overall, I think that there are some songs that were scrapped that probably would've done better than a few that made the cut (e.g borderline, blazed, sweetener). Her new style is okay, however a lot of the songs sound far too similar to each other. The swt better include some of the scrapped songs to make up for the disappointing ones on this album. There are a few gems hidden in here though, such as breathin, successful and R.E.M that deserve better than they're probably going to get. I'm looking forward to seeing some new music videos and live performances.

(I might make some more posts like this about her merch / performances / videos ect, comment if you'd like that.)

[therealswizzyb-blog]

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Ight so I told y'all I'ma keep y'all posted and be transparent during this!! So the Meeting yesterday was Unreal! It was the A&Rs wife that found me on IG and showed me to him 🤯🤯 He had Alot to say but I'll make it short he said he was researching me past few days and was blown away once he seen the videos of our performance from the @snowthaproduct concert 😂🍾🍾 He said one thing came to mind as he watched it and it was "Star Power" 🤣🤟🏽 He's been a A&R, Producer & manager for almost every big label you can think of and worked with LEGENDS 🤯 The Best part about it was when he brought up @LoUdLifeCrew and said I have something big there especially with our backstory reminds him of a Modern day Wu Tang 😭That was lit to me cause I'm taking my team everywhere with me so for him to acknowledge that and see the vision was the best part for me‼️ He wants me to send him my press kit so he can share it with his partners and see what we can do if we can do anything from there 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Idk what's going to come from this if anything even does.. but at this point I'm just Happy I'm finally getting noticed by some people that can really change my life, this just put me in overdrive! 🙏🏼🙏🏼 As of now it's Still No Label, No Management 😂🤣🤟🏽🤟🏽 S/O @marvylus_ & @desibtho the Look on there Faces during that call... PRICELESS 🤣🤣 Well that's where we at with it now I'll keep y'all posted as this progresses it's definitely exciting, In the meantime check out this Angle of me turning up last weekend at @jannuslive 💪🏼💪🏼🚀🚀🚀 [🎥 @novastarrphotos] (at Jannus Live) https://www.instagram.com/p/CU-qDcigY45/?utm_medium=tumblr

[frostdrive]

CAROUSEL YO! I'm thinking about just creating carousels that include the caption that I would normally write here, because that's just more cooler sunglasses But to add some extra, I learned how to do that 80's anime look! It works better when you draw in anime style though and not, some cartoon inspired derivative. BUT, that picture of Star Butterfly is incredibly aesthetic and it's cartoon so I'm gonna try to go more that route next time cuz' I love that mysterious picture. I wish I could find who made it!! I can't tell if it's a screenshot from the show, or if someone drew it themselves. There's a lot of artists on IG that mimic the Star Vs TFOE style pretty damn near perfect. Anyways I'ma try to alternate my posts between aesthetic cute pics and comic strips! So new comic strip tomorrow!! >:D AND there's new rewards on my patreon! It'd my dream to make comics and animations and videos for a living and I'm going hard this year now. Do or die. https://www.instagram.com/p/CDKX7KSA1OX/?igshid=1xmiu6al9a57y

[ssfoc]

Sea, what significance are the posts about Epic welcoming Louis? Sorry, I've been gone for days thanks to Hurricane Irma and I'm just now getting caught up.

Anonymous said: Also, what is the significance of Harry covering Wild Thoughts?///

_________________

Supposedly Louis has been with Epic since at least a couple of weeks before BTY dropped. When the announcement came, it seemed to take a lot of people by surprise, including Dan Wooten, who earlier reported that Louis signed with RCA. We fans hoped that it was the signal of a change in teams:

https://seasurfacefullofclouds.tumblr.com/post/163455091530/hi-this-is-a-really-broad-question-but-again-i

And then once BTY promo started… crickets from Epic. No IG posts, almost no tweets, no PR push for an artist who should come out roaring. Now it seems like there is a celebration of sorts, without any new announcements, and the header on the Epic IG is Louis again. This is not a normal way to introduce a potentially hugely lucrative solo career. One could ask all sorts of questions about the delay in promo, the air of celebration, the way Louis is cheered.

As for Wild Thoughts, here are a few tame thoughts about that. First, here’s a curious follow by Louis on the day that Harry’s Live Lounge was taped:

http://iftheresnolove.tumblr.com/post/165257661510/louis-followed-khaled-the-same-day-harry-recorded

This is Harry’s second Rihanna cover.

https://seasurfacefullofclouds.tumblr.com/post/165257197460/good-morning-sea-i-just-woke-up-here-is-brazil

A funny thing about Wild Thoughts is how explicit the lyrics are in the original song. @nevracoincidence pointed out to me that Harry sings Rihanna’s lines because they are less explicit than Bryson Tiller’s:

[Verse: Rihanna]I don’t know if you could take itKnow you wanna see me nakey, nakey, nakedI wanna be your baby, baby, babySpinning and it’s wet just like it came from MaytagWhite girl wasted on that brown liquorWhen I get like this I can’t be around youI’m too lit to dim down a notch‘Cause I could name some thangs that I’m gon’ do

[Chorus: Rihanna]Wild, wild, wildWild, wild, wild thoughtsWild, wild, wildWhen I’m with you, all I get is wild thoughts

[Verse: Rihanna]I hope you know I’m for the takin’You know this cookie is for the baking (ugh)Kitty, kitty, baby give that thing some rest'Cause you done beat it like the '68 JetsDiamonds ain’t nothing when I’m rockin’ with yaDiamonds ain’t nothing when I’m shinin’ with yaJust keep it white and black as if I’m ya sistaI’m too hip to hop around town out here with ya

[Verse: Bryson]Ayy, I heard that pussy for the takingI heard it got these other niggas goin’ crazyYeah I treat you like a lady, ladyFuck you 'til you’re burned out, cremationMake it cream, yeah, Wu-TangThrow that ass back, bouquetCall me and I can get it juicyI can tell you’re gone off the D'USSÉCareful mama watch what you sayYou talking to me like ya new baeGirl, talking like you tryna do thingsNow that pipe got her running like she Usain, babyYou made me drown in it, touche, babyI’m carrying that water, Bobby Boucher, babyYou know I'ma slaughter like I’m JasonBust it, why you got it on safety?White girl wasted on brown liquorI probably shouldn’t be around you'Cause you get wild, wild, wildYou looking like there’s nothing that you won’t doAyy, girl that’s when I told you

But the point is Harry’s singing the female verse— he’s the one getting Wild Thoughts. Bryson sings, “'Cause you get wild, wild, wild,” but Harry sings Rihanna’s lines. We haven’t had the full video performance– so who knows, I could be wrong.

He sings the female verse in Girl Crush too. And in 1D’s cover of Four, Five Seconds, Louis is the one who sings Kanye’s verses.

That reminds me of a funny observation about Harry covering Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain:

https://seasurfacefullofclouds.tumblr.com/post/165260452825/louis-followed-khaled-the-same-day-harry-recorded

That’s already too long. Thanks for the question!

S

[livinthatlifevlogs]

- Some nomads may feel a sense of guilt that they're leaving their family & friends behind... - Or some guilt about posting fun travel stories often throughout the year.. knowing that most friends seeing it on IG have 'regular' jobs and only have a few vacations weeks per year... - Maybe we feel guilty about making ppl feel jealous all the time? - Or feel bad because maybe we're wondering if our parents feel let down that we're not going the 'traditional' route, and/or 'throwing away' our college degrees? - Or feel like we are betraying our friend groups by leaving our hometowns and being gone most of the year? - Or feeling guilty that we're not seeing family & relatives as much at all the holiday gatherings? ...Well, someone brought up some of these feelings the other day, so I thought i'd make a video about it. It's quite the rant, but I hope y'all get the point. Main points: and i'm speaking for myself and most nomads / influencers - There's no ego here - we/I don't think we're 'better' than anyone else - We don't think that this is the 'only' or 'best' way to life your life, and we don't think its for everyone .. and we don't think that if you have a 'regular' job that you're automatically not living your best life... - There's no fakery here - nothing we/I do is 'staged' just for a video or whatever - That said... YES, content creators only post the best / most fun parts of life. For obvious reasons. No one wants to watch boring / uninteresting sh!t. Of course, it's not rainbows every single day... but YES it is sunny all the freaking time in the tropics:) - YES we/I am actually really fu*kin happy and fired up about what we're doing - Overall it was OUR dream to be doing this –– all we want is for EVERYONE to be able to live THEIR dream. This was ours. To travel often, live the tropical life, and be free to take it easy and do what you feel like. To be able to structure your daily/weekly/monthly activity how you like. To be an 'independent artist'... Or 'independent athlete of business' if you like... - YES life has sacrifices... you can't have every single thing... BUT you can have a lot... and I think i speak for most nomads when I say, we PLAN on being able to spend more time with family in the future -- but the way this career plan goes -- the bootstrapping solo small-ecomm biz entrepreneur plan -- living abroad for half the living is part of it! It allows us to pursue our dream business/life SOONER than we could otherwise. And that's invaluable. - We're blessed to be living out our our dream life that we saw on youtube 6 years ago. - What's your dream? No matter what it is, there will have to be sacrificed.... but going for your dream HAS to be the most important thing. Put yourself first. This is our dream. Don't be afraid by these relatively little things. It's all love in the end. Your real friends and parents will love you always anyway. - I'ma do me. I want you to do you. That's all we want 🙏 And if this life happens to be something you want as well -- well boom, happy to lock arms and help as many people navigate this into reality as possible -- because we've been thru it, its more than possible (you don't have to be a genius), and this is just the best and most valuable way can give back to the world. - Koh Phanang, Thailand "So, Riley, how do I start to be a nomad?" Step 1) → It just comes down to working remotely! So start by choosing an online business model! My new beginners' course compares the Top Online Business Models. 💵💻💰→ http://livinthatlife.com/start Step 2) → If you've watched a few of my videos, please smash SUBSCRIBE – it's FREE. Thanks for following! 🌴 Step 3) → Follow my DAILY Instagram Stories 📲 See what I'm up to right now and hit me up – https://instagram.com/livinthatlifetv #livinthatlife #digitalnomad #travelvlog by Livin That Life

[otisoverturf]

NLE Choppa & Quando Rondo Get Into Heated Altercation: Report

Instagram has had a profound effect on the rap game, influencing the dynamics of social interaction in a fascinating way. While it does allow artists a platform for fan interaction, it makes for a tempting conduit for impulsivity, leads to moments of rage immortalized in the digital ether. It’s very telling that both NLE Choppa (aged 16) and Quando Rondo (aged 20), rising stars in their own right, sought the comforts of Instagram after reportedly engaging in a heated confrontation. While visuals of the fight itself weren’t captured, Akademiks grabbed the follow-up posts, of which there were many.

The narrative begins with Quando Rondo, no stranger to violent escalation, seemingly checking in moments after the altercation. “I just cracked NLE Choppa homeboy in his shit,” he taunts, visibly agitated. “Running up on me! Cracked n***a ass in this shit! Fuck NLE Choppa! And I got that fire on me! And I’m riding round Houston! Pussy-ass n***a! N***as know what the fuck goin’ on with me!” He elaborates that he “cracked” NLE’s partner over the head with a Hennessy bottle, leaving “his face all open, blood everywhere." 

After the fact, Choppa took to Instagram Live to provide his side of the story. "Everybody go to Quando Rondo’s Instagram story right now, and see how he was hiding behind security,” says Choppa. “All I gotta say.” It didn’t take long for Quando himself to pop into the session, imploring Choppa to “post his homeboy head.” Choppa notices the comment and scoffs in response. “You threw a bottle, fool. You was behind security and threw a bottle, how is you tough?”

Quando, not to be outdone in steering the IG discourse, hopped on Live with his own take. “I'ma let ya’ll know that he ain’t no iron slinger,” says Quando. “One thing bout me and my n***as, if you had the pole in your hand, the banger, the gun, whatever you call it, if you had that shit in your motherfuckin hand n***a why you ain't spray that shit? Anybody get hit. The fuckin party security be coming’ out the door! If you was bout it, that couldn’t have been me outside with the thing in my hand, n***a. Cause I’d be going to jail. I be throwing my whole life away. I was kissing my mama and daddy goodbye. I wouldn’t be able to see my child. 

Following that, young Choppa took to Instagram Live to call out his Memphis fanbase, questioning their loyalty to a local boy. "If ya’ll from Memphis, I’m from Memphis,” he says. “Why the fuck is ya’ll motherfuckers taking another motherfucker’s side that ain’t even from Memphis? And was hiding behind five -no, seven- big buff-ass security guards. That was all licensed to carry a strap. But ya’ll took that man’s side. 

Given that both rappers are putting in work in the studio, enjoying a steady rise as some of the game’s exciting new voices, it’s sad to see them flirting with such a violent path. Quando’s words, in which he claims he’s willing to risk it all over pride and reputation, ring especially troubling. There’s too much money to be made for squabbles to derail the mission. We sincerely hope that both young men can hash out their differences before circumstances escalate into further violence. 

The post NLE Choppa & Quando Rondo Get Into Heated Altercation: Report appeared first on Social Juicebox.

Source: https://socialjuicebox.com/ NLE Choppa & Quando Rondo Get Into Heated Altercation: Report published first on https://socialjuicebox.com/

[memoirsofatomboi]

Super Major Life Update lol

1. March 10, 2016 was the day I found out I was diabetic and the day I quit eating meat. It has now been 14 months since I quit and it definitely paid off. I’m down 28lbs. My A1C level has lowered. I feel so much better overall. Best decision I ever made. I still eat fish, but it is so sparingly now I feel I can quit that too. Maybe sometime soon. 2. I got fired from Petsmart. I was so fckd up over it because I genuinely loved my job and the salon associates. I was devastated until I found a position as a mobile groomer. I now make a ton more money, I make my own schedule, the customers tip well and I’m happy. I made a grooming page on IG (yggrooms) and it’s slowly but surely gaining me clientele. I’m so sure about this job that… 3. I’m going back to school. Originally, right after high school, my major was vet tech. I went to the gen eds but didn’t give a fck cause it was my first year and I bullshitted. I applied to the program and didn’t get in. I applied again and didn’t get in. An academic advisor said to fix my transcript to make it more appealing, I did, applied, and didn’t get in. By this time I had started grooming. I found my passion in that because generally all I wanted to do was work with animals. I do that now. So, I’m switching my major to chemical engineering. I know, such a contrast from vet tech but I need something to fall back on if a dog bites me the wrong way some day. Also, this job has literally no benefits. I’m legally self employed. If I’m off work, I’m just off. No sick days. No vacation days. No pto. If I’m off, I just miss out on a days worth of money. I mean, it’s good now but not for the future family I hope to create. I was gonna pursue math but like 3 more classes I’d get an engineering degree and like 5 more classes I can have a chemical concentration so I'ma get my associates degree and then transfer to Morgan. I go back this fall. I'ma stay focused. 4. My love life is a fckn disaster LMAO. After I stopped dating Koya I started fckn with this girl named Michelle. All was good, but I felt like she just wanted to fck me and nothing else because I never fckd a girl and she wanted to be my first. I’m just like, damn can you get to know me first? I’m a great person! Lmao but that wasn’t her focus. So despite my initial attraction to her, I was turned off. And, after the shit I found out about her, I’m glad I didn’t fck her lol. I started fckn with this guy but his ass was way too old to be acting how he was acting so I stopped fckn with him. I very briefly kinda talked to this girl I worked at Petsmart with but I think my attraction was a “I can save her” one and she clearly ain’t want saving lol. We still chat and flirt. She wants to take me out on a picnic. I don’t think I'ma go lol. Before all them, and kinda during all them, is R. R is a guy I started fckn like seven years ago after I broke up with my ex. Initially, all we did was fck to make up for the nonexistent sex life I had in my relationship and that’s all I wanted. For like two (maybe three) of those years he had a girlfriend, which I respected, so I started fckn other niggas. We reconnected on a dating app and we fckd same week. I started to like him. I mean, I’m kinda ready for a relationship so I relay that to him since he stated that if I had mentioned it before he wouldn’t have gotten with the girl he was with. But I knew he wouldn’t be ready for a relationship so he said we could “build a foundation”. I’m thinking, communication, consistency, dates, ya know, foundation building type shit. I barely heard from this nigga unless we was fckn. If I asked a question it was a problem. It just wasn’t right, and my feelings was involved. So I cut him off. Obviously I was wrong for that. So I told him maybe we could just fck and that’s it. I was wrong for that. So I cut him off again. I invited him to my goddaughter’s grandmother’s birthday party, he came. I got drunk. We discussed some shit. I ended up “wasting his time”. He cut me off. I was basically kissing ass. I got tired of that. The communication lacked. I cut him off again. He said he loved me and that he’d do anything to make it right but I knew it was bullshit. I stood by my words but I couldn’t get him off my mind for shit. Even while fckn with another guy, Dre. I met Dre on a dating website lol. I like him a lot but I think something wrong with me lol. R just fcks me so well. Like, so so well. Our sexual chemistry is perfect. Everything else is off. Dre is a good guy, we had sex once but I was sleepy. Like, dead sleepy, so I couldn’t get into it. I’m pretty sure he’s a great lay but I’m stuck on dumb ass R. It pisses me off. Dre was perfect at first but now he’s just like R. No communication. No consistency. And I know it’s because he was laid off and is finally back working and playing bill catch up but still. I’m trying to be understanding. And I do care about him. But I work EVERY DAY. I still find time to attempt to check on him only to not get a response. I suggest going out. He can’t. I even offered to pay, because I know he’s behind and I’m thinking he don’t want to go out simply because he has to put his money toward bills. Nope. It’s just, I’m not getting what I want and it leads me back to R because hey, at least I’m guaranteed a nut our seven. And the longevity is there. But I’m not about to be fckn a nigga I have feelings for for another seven fckn years because he’s not ready for a relationship. ***I should pause this update to mention that R just left. I done put this post in my drafts like seven times lol. But, we fckd. I moaned “I hate you” in his ear, he told me I didn’t mean that and fckd me harder. I really do hate him. Prior to the sex, I told him we should just be friends and then see what happens. We hashed out our issues I guess. He told me he can’t be my friend. Said we were already friends. I said no we aren’t. He kept touching me. His touch makes me weak. He knows this. I wanted it. Bad. Before he even came over. I knew that’s what I wanted. But I put up a “fight” because I know he don’t deserve it. But I knew I was gonna give it to him anyway. Something is truly wrong with me smh. Anyway, I’m not gonna stop seeing Dre if he ever comes back around. Well once he get his shit together on his end financially. Our connection isn’t completely lost, he’s just working hard to get back on top of bills and I understand that. I of all people know what it’s like to not have money. Hell, I’ve even given him money toward small shit like gas and food. I should mention that when I met him he wasn’t like this lol. He was on his shit. But his job is contractual. He was out of work for a month due to it ending and the next contract not starting when it was supposed to. So, I get it. I just want him to catch up and come back to me. I think it’s something there that’s worth exploring. I know me and R will never do more than fck. And if we attempted a relationship, it won’t work. He’s a Pisces. My ex is a Pisces. I’m a Pisces. Pisces-Pisces is a horrible pair to began with. Ironically, our sexual desires are mutual which is basically what keeps up from completely quitting each other. Like I said, a fckn disaster lol. 5. I found out the “straightest” girl I know has an attraction to women. I’m literally still reeling over that lol. Me personally, I think gender attraction is fluid but I think I may be going based off my own experiences. It wasn’t until Koya that I even ever had an attraction to women lol. After her, I’ve just been neutral about it. I wouldn’t consider myself bi lol. Just, idk, not gonna miss out on someone or something real because they’re the same gender as myself. Not finna block my blessings lol. But there’s always that girl that you could never imagine wanting to be with another girl, until she text you about her there is a girl that makes her wet and she wants to taste her. Changes your whole perspective lol. 6. One of my brothers has a baby on the way. Or possibly has a baby on the way. I don’t care, but the fact kills me because they’re incompetent. Both not capable of raising a child because he’s only 19, jobless, and didn’t complete highschool. She’s, just as lacking. My mom is about to be a grandparent to the child of the child that caused her the most grief and pain due to his actions. I just pray they don’t drive her insane. I can’t stand seeing her stressed. They’re taking a paternity test, am I wrong for hoping it isn’t his? 7. Ever since my other brother moved to PA, we don’t talk. I keep up with him from his daily snapchats. We text every now and then about our dysfunctional family but that’s it. He’s changed. He smokes weed now, drinks constantly, and just lives recklessly. My mom doesn’t know. He flaunts all this money around on social media but always cries broke to her. On Mother’s Day he came down and bought my mom a card and flowers. That’s it. Might I mention he didn’t even read the card long enough to see that was a Happy Nurse’s Day card and not one for the occasion. She didn’t care. She was happy to see him. I got her a discovery flight experience, took her to a comedy show and paid for everything, plus flowers, chocolate, and a card. She was excited for that too, but it’s evident he’s still the golden child. Despite everything, and the wrong he’s done, he can still do no wrong. Baffling. I truly don’t think this is an issue with my mom, but with my brother. He does the bare minimum every birthday and Mother’s Day while I go above and beyond and the gratitude is the same. And he makes the money to do something more meaningful for her. I want to do what he do but I just, she’s our mother. I think she can get more than a card and some flowers every damn holiday. Maybe I’m just jealous. I miss the old him. 8. While at Petsmart me and a coworker adopted a 12 year old Jack Russell terrier from a lady who had to move in with her mom at a nursing home so she couldn’t take him with her. He had a slew of health problems but he stole our hearts so we couldn’t resist, plus, a shelter would have killed him. His name was Dinks. We coparented him for 6 months before he died on my dad’s birthday in September. We were heartbroken. I mean, it tore me to pieces. I cried so damn hard and she did too. It took a minute for us to recover. He had dermatitis so he used to thump his back leg on his front leg to scratch himself. For a long while after his passing I’d still hear little ghost thumps. He was just so perfect and I wish I could’ve spent an eternity with him. I’ll never forget the little dude. Since then, she adopted a coonhound from a shelter and I adopted a chihuahua mix from a lady on Craigslist. We’re both happy with our new pets but Dinks still has a place in our hearts. Maybe this post will have a part two but that’s my life in a nutshell. A fckn mess with a few good things. I might go back to my daily posts but I had to put this somewhere so I can clear my head space. My mind just runs rampant with all the things and I have to put it somewhere or it’ll be cluttered lol. This public post is basically for me lol. But, you’re welcome.