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eddieismypimp · 1 month

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My love, are you okay?

Chapter 1: I haven't seen you around before

Wanings: definite grammar errors, cussing, cringe lowkey, probably major spelling errors. nothing to major or serious. That will be happening in the later chapters.

A/N: This is quite literally terrible but maybe it's because I'm rusty. I haven't wrote in a while. I hope you guys enjoy anyway and I hope it gets better in the future chapters.

My POV:

Five days. It's been five days since I officially moved to the little, weird town of Nockfell. Five days since I started my job at the record store, and five days since I've had any interaction with anyone I actually ENJOYED conversing with. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I made the decision to move out on my own, I love my job, but I didn't realize how lonely I would be with no one here. Today has been especially excruciating considering my manager only had me scheduled today and there's only been two customers. I looked at the clock... I still had an hour and a half until I can clock out and go home to cuddle with my cat Dior. She was a cute, fluffy black cat. She's a cuddle bug too. I slumped over the desk with a groan. I would kill to be at home relaxing with Dior right now.... Just as I was daydreaming about being home in my comfy bed, watching netflix, I heard the chime of the front door. Oh thank god. I thought, standing up straight, looking towards the door. I saw a group of about 5 people walk in. "Hi guys!" I said. Getting a chorus of hey's, and hi's in return. "Welcome in, let me know if there's anything you need help with" I say. "Alright, thank you!" A guy with long brown hair responded barely even acknowledging my existence as they explored the store. "No problem!" I said, walking around the store, putting records away, pretending that I had been working the whole time. I took some time to observe the people who came in. There was a guy with long brown hair, a boy with dark skin with his arm around the shoulders of a boy with bright orange hair, a pale girl with long dark brown hair and a very pale guy with long blue hair and.... a mask? I looked at the person in interest and confusion. Then they spoke to the guy with the brown hair. "Larry look, they have it!" He said holding up a record, I couldn't see the artist though. Damn... he's got a deep voice.... lowkey got some muscle to him too... I don't know if this is my mask kink talking but he's kinda fine..."Hell yeah!" The guy he called Larry shouted, walking over to him. I decided to walk over to the two, maybe I could even make friends with them so I wouldn't be so lonely here. I doubt it though, I'm absolutely terrible at making conversation. "Hey, you guys finding everything okay?" I asked with a smile. You couldn't have thought of anything more basic? I thought, scolding myself internally. They paused for a moment, both giving me a once over. A few seconds go by neither one of them saying anything until the guy with brown hair nudges the guy with blue hair with his elbow. He cleared his throat. "Oh, uh, yeah. We're good." He says. Damn...I thought, Boring ass response. "Okay." I say with a smile and beginning to walk off, accepting the fact that these people probably did not want to be bothered by the worker. "Uh, wait.." I heard one of them say. I turned around. "What's up?" I asked politely.

Sal's POV:

Larry, Neil, Todd, Ashley and I decided to go to the record store today. Sanity's Fall released a new album a couple days ago and we were hoping the record store would have it. We were greeted as soon as we walked in. We all let out a hey, or a hi. I looked over to see who the voice was connected to and my breathe hitched. Holy shit.....I've never seen her before...she's gorgeous... "Welcome in, let me know if there's anything you need help with" She says. "Alright, thank you!" Larry responded, going to walk in the opposite direction. "Larry," I said walking up to him. "What's up?" He asked looking through records. "Bro, look at the worker, shes so hot." I said pointing to where she was standing putting some records away. She had brown skin, black super curly hair, a lip piercing, both sides of her nose done, her septum done, her eyebrow... multiple tattoos on her arms and legs. She was wearing a maroon corset, black skirt with two chains hanging from it, and black platforms. My god.. Larry chuckled. "She is hot bro, go get her man, go talk to her." Larry said nudging me towards her. "No man... she's way to hot for me." I said pushing him back. "Shut up." He said laughing. Then we split off into our own directions looking for the Sanity's fall record. After barely even a minute of looking I found the Sanity's fall record. "Larry look, they have it!" I said. "Hell yeah!" Larry said walking over to me. "Hey, you guys finding everything okay?" I heard. I turned my head. I knew it was her but I was still taken by surprise to see her standing so close. I took her in, seeing her piercings and tattoos up close. I saw a tattoo of a pumpkin on her wrist and bats going up her arm. There was alot more but those are the main ones that caught my eye. I didn't realize I was just staring until Larry nudged me. I cleared my throat. "Oh, uh, yeah. We're good." I say, internally cursing myself for that boring ass response. "Okay." She said with a smile, turning to walk away. I couldn't let her walk away, I had to say something. . "Uh, wait.." I say nervously. Nice one dumbass.. She turned around! Thank god. "What's up?" She asked politely. Think Sal, come on... "Are you from here? I haven't seen you around before?" I asked. She smiled. "No, I'm not from here," She said, "I actually just moved here like five days ago." "Oh, that's cool!" I said a little to enthusiastically, "Do you have family or friends here?" I hope she doesn't think that was creepy.

My POV:

"Do you have family or friends here?" He asked me. I smiled slighlty, glad he's attempting to continue the conversation but also not knowing if I should answer truthfully or not. Considering I still didn't even know his name. Yes he's hot but he's still a whole ass stranger. Fuck it.."Nope," I decided to answer truthfully, "I decided to move out on my own. I don't know why I chose somewhere with absolutely no one that I know." I say, nervously chuckling. He chuckled a little too. I noticed that the Larry guy had walked away to join his other friends and left the blue haired guy here alone to converse with me. "Doesn't that get lonely though?" He asked sounding genuinely concerned. I sighed. "Yeah, it does get pretty lonely, and boring," I say, "It's just my cat and I." "You have a cat?!" He asked excitedly. "Yes! Her name is dior." I said with a smile. "I have a cat too, his name is Gizmo." He said. "Awww, I love cats." I said in adoration. "I do too," He said, "So, whats your name?" He asked, he semed a little nervous or anxious. Glad I'm not the only one. "My name is y/n," I said, sticking my hand out. This feels way to formal, why the hell did I stick my hand out... "My name is Sal." He said, thankfully taking my hand in his and shaking it, making me feel less awkward. "Hi Sal." I said sweetly. "Hi y/n." He mocked in a playful way making me chuckle a bit. "Well.. if you ever need someone to hang out with or something... my friends and I would be down.." He said, looking down, putting a hand on the back of his neck. I damn near let out a squeal. Fuck yeah.. thank you god. Okay, okay y/n, compose yourself. Keep your cool. "Uh, yeah," I said smiling, "I would love that!" To enthusiastic girl come on now...He chuckled. "Cool.. can I have your number?" He asked, holding out his phone to me. "Sure." I said, taking the phone from him and putting my number in. He took his phone back. "I guess I'll be texting you." He said. "I hope so." I said, looking him up and down, trying to sound flirty. Hopefully that was sexy and not dumb as shit. "Y-yeah," He said, turning to go join his friends again. "I'll see you." "Yeah, I'll see you." I said, walking back to the register.

Sal's POV:

I actually asked for her number, fuck yeah. Go Sal. "I guess I'll be texting you." I said, trying to sound confident. "I hope so." She said looking me up and down. My god that was sexy. "Y-yeah," I said. Goddamn stuttering. "I'll see you." I said, turning around to head back to everyone. "Yeah, I'll see you." She said with that sweet voice of hers. Fuck... my jeans are tight...

#sal fisher x reader #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #sally face #sally face fanfiction #sally face x reader #sally fisher

23 notes · View notes

amaretigris · 3 months

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Could I request for cliche story confident jonah simping over a shy, nerdy girl. Maybe angst in the middle and fluff at the end please? THANKYOU

Hey sweetie! Thanks for this request! It's the cutest 🥰 I actually just finished watching Maxton Hall on Prime Video and loved it. This prompt gave me very similar vibes. I hope you like what I came up with 💖💖 (Sorry it took a few days)

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An Ancient Attraction

Taglist: @hopeisrising @notagreekgal28 @luna2034 @justagirlthatlovedtoread @freyagallileaevans @daydreamerwithnohobbies @mylittlemermaid221 @jonahmermaid23

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Angst & fluff | 4.3k words | TW: Mentions of an abusive relationship

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Sauntering down the halls with his coat thrown over his shoulder, Jonah had his other arm around his mate Max. Throwing his head back in roaring laughter, you sighed at your locker as you watched him and Max pass. There was something about Jonah, the very essence of him, that bugged you. Perhaps it was because he was obnoxiously snobby and conceited; or perhaps it was because you found him so attractive in spite of that. Either way, he irked you. Not that this affected him in any capacity. You were invisible to him. He'd never so much as even looked your direction. You preferred that it stayed that way.

Unfortunately for you, you did have one class with Jonah. History on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The subject that interested you the least. Jonah was also disinterested in this subject- you could tell by his incessant comments and interruptions.

Taking your seat in class, you prepared for another monotonous period. You looked down at your notebook, opening it to your notes from the previous session. Drawing a divider and writing the date at the top, you started a new bullet point. Your professor Sebastian entered, pulling out the chair behind his desk at the front of the lecture hall.

"Good morning class. There's been a change of plans. Today, instead of lecturing as I normally do, we're going to split up for a group project. I've randomized your names to assign you partners. Pass this list around."

Sebastian walked over to hand the list to a front row student. You sighed again, closing your notebook. You hated group projects and forced socialization. You tapped your fingers on the table, waiting to find out who your designated partner was. When you were finally handed the list, your eyes skimmed down the page, and your mouth fell open in dismay.

No way, you couldn't be that unlucky.

Groaning, you pressed your palms to your eyes.

"Whoa, what's all this then?"

You stilled, slowly pulling your fingers away to open your eyes.

"What?"

You snapped back.

"Why are you groaning? Most people would be delighted to work with me," Jonah scoffed.

His arms were lazily crossed over his chest, and he rolled his eyes. Rounding the table and pulling the chair away from you, he took a seat in it.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not a member of your fan club," you retorted.

"Whatever," Jonah shrugged.

"I don't think I've ever seen you before, so I'm not surprised. You must be new here."

You laughed, and it was your turn to cross your arms over your chest. You shook your head.

"No. No, I'm definitely not new. I've been at this university for a year already, same as you."

Jonah smirked, and shrugged again.

"Well, I suppose you haven't done anything notable."

You contorted your face in anger when your professor spoke up again.

"Alright, now that everyone has their partners, you'll be working on a presentation on your assigned ancient civilizations."

Reading from the paper on his table, Sebastian pointed to the paired partners, listing the assignments. He pointed to you and Jonah.

"(Y/N) and Jonah, you have Mesopotamia."

Nodding your head with your fingers laced on your desk, you tried to steady your breath. It was just a presentation. You could get through this.

Sebastian finished reading off assignments, and let the class begin researching.

"Alright," you turned to Jonah.

"I know this isn't your thing, but I can begin compiling facts about ancient Mesopotamia. Can you handle finding pictures for the presentation?"

Jonah, who was looking down at his phone and not at you, grunted in response.

"Hello?"

You waved your hand at Jonah to get his attention. He sighed, locking his phone, and looking at you impatiently.

"What? I don't do group projects. I only stand up there and look pretty for the presentations," Jonah's lips twisted in a smirk.

You huffed in anger.

"You're ridiculous. Have you ever had to work in your life?"

"No," Jonah chuckled.

"Now that you mention it, not really."

You closed your eyes, rubbing your temples.

"Whatever. Let's just get through class. I'll do all the work for the presentation if you stay out of my way."

You missed it, but Jonah's smug expression slipped momentarily.

"Deal," he agreed.

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Later that night at your flat, you began your research. Clicking on a link to a museum website, you found an interesting article on Mesopotamian artifacts. Scrolling down the page, you saw a picture of the woman who wrote the article. Why did she look familiar? Her title read Museum Archivist, Deb Hauer.

Wait. Hauer?

Pulling up the school website, you typed out a message for Jonah.

Is your mom a Museum Archivist at the Natural History Museum?

You didn't expect a reply tonight, or for at least a couple of days. To your surprise, your school email pinged with a reply only minutes later.

Yes. Why?

You rolled your eyes. You weren't sure if this guy was purposely dense or what.

She wrote an article on Mesopotamian artifacts. She's an expert on this subject. Is there any way I can arrange a meeting with her?

Again, you expected no answer. Again, you were surprised when another message pinged.

What's in it for me?

You sighed. This man was infuriating.

How about an A?

You hit send, and closed your laptop. You got up to go wash your face and brush your teeth before bed. You laid down after, opening your email on your phone. Jonah hadn't replied. You rolled your eyes again, locking your phone and setting it under your pillow. This was going to be a long couple weeks.

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The sun shone through your curtains the next morning. Rolling out of bed and stretching, you picked up your phone with a yawn. Opening your email, you saw a reply from Jonah.

I'll see what I can do. Send me your number on here and I'll text you the details.

Pausing, you contemplated for a moment, but shrugged and typed out your number before hitting send. Getting ready for the day, you didn't think about Jonah anymore. It wasn't until that evening after you'd finished all your classes and returned to your flat that he texted you.

Hey. My mum said she's free tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. to give you a tour and answer any questions. That work for you?

You smiled. You were excited to meet a professional such as herself. You wondered how the apple fell so far from the tree.

Yes, that's perfect. Thanks!

Walking to your closet, you laid out your outfit for the morning. A nice top with a pencil skirt was what you decided on. You wanted to look at least a little professional. Jumping into bed, you couldn't wait to head to the museum in the morning.

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Looking out the taxi window at the huge museum before you, you smiled. Paying the driver, you stepped out, and smoothed down your skirt. Walking up the steps, you felt yourself getting more excited as you approached the entrance. Although history was your least favorite subject, the Natural History Museum always fascinated you with its exhibits. They rotated throughout the year, and were always different and seemingly more interesting every time you visited. You entered the lobby, and walked up to the help desk.

"Good morning," you folded your hands in front of you.

"I believe I have an appointment with Mrs. Hau-"

"(Y/N)!"

You scrunched your brow and turned your head. You spotted Jonah approaching you.

"Hey. I can take you to the section where we're meeting my mum," he glanced to you, then to the receptionist.

"I got her from here. Thanks, Margaret," he nodded.

Margaret smiled at him. You looked between the two curiously for a moment. He could be polite and remember people's names?

The revelation shocked you. Jonah caught sight of your expression, and turned to lead you through the museum. You hurried after him. His legs are much longer than yours, and you were wearing platforms. Jonah weaved through the museum with ease, occasionally checking behind him to make sure you were still there. When he finally came to a stop and sat on a bench in a hallway, you plopped down, out of breath. Jonah turned to you with the corner of his lips quirked.

"Was I walking too fast?"

You shook your head.

"No, it's fine. I have short legs, and heels," you managed.

"Do you know this place well?" You tried to change the subject.

Jonah shrugged, looking ahead.

"I suppose. I've come here a lot over the years with my mother."

You strummed your fingers on your leg.

"So, the whole dumb, popular jock persona is an act? You must've picked up a lot being here all the time," you thought aloud.

Jonah sighed.

"I never said I was dumb. People just assume."

He turned his head back to you.

"Like you did," he pointed out.

You swallowed, your eyes scanning his face.

"I guess I did. I'm sorry. You complain a lot in class, and make jokes like you're completely uninterested. I guess you're a good actor," you laced your fingers around your knee.

"Why would you put on that show if you're not really like that?"

Jonah scrubbed the back of his neck.

"I dunno. Everyone has different ways of camouflaging themselves to fit in I suppose. This is mine."

You nodded, turning your gaze to a poster on the opposite wall from you.

"Are your friends actually your friends if they wouldn't accept the real you?"

Jonah was about to answer when he heard heels hitting the tile flooring. He looked to see his mom walking towards your bench. Standing, he extended a hand to you to help you up. Blinking in surprise for a moment, you quickly grabbed his hand to stand and introduce yourself to his mother. The woman before you smiled warmly. She had dark hair and beautiful blue eyes that you immediately recognized in Jonah.

"Good morning Mrs. Hauer," you outstretched your hand for her to shake. She took it firmly.

"Thank you so much for meeting with me. I'm thrilled to be here," you gave her your best smile.

Mrs. Hauer nodded.

"Thank you for your interest. It isn't often that people outside of this profession are genuinely interested in my work."

"I've always been fascinated by ancient civilizations such as Mesopotamia. This school project gave me an opportunity to explore it is all."

You shook your head, realizing yourself.

"Oh, I apologize. I didn't introduce myself. My name is-"

"(Y/N)," Mrs. Hauer interjected.

"Don't worry, Jonah told me. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Your eyes cut to him, only to find his cutting away from you.

"Come, let's begin our tour," Mrs. Hauer extended her arm for you to pass.

Falling into step beside her, you clasped your hands in excitement. You caught sight of Jonah strolling beside you with his hands casually stuffed in his pockets.

"I wasn't aware you'd be joining us for the tour. I figured you'd leave it to me," you mentioned.

"I planned on staying," Jonah shrugged.

"Jonah has been through this museum many times. He could probably give you a tour himself," Mrs. Hauer smiled proudly.

You smiled back, nodding. You heard Jonah awkwardly clear his throat. His mom's eyes moved past you, and you could only imagine Jonah's expression at this moment. You planned on teasing him about that later.

"Right," Mrs. Hauer led you into a show room with multiple artifacts on display in glass cases.

As she began listing off facts and dates, you jotted notes down on your small notepad. You had a few questions throughout the tour, all of which Mrs. Hauer answered adeptly. You followed her through several more rooms, in total awe of the well-preserved treasures. The whole tour, Jonah quietly trailed behind the two of you with his hands folded behind his back.

He observed your reactions to his mother's extensive knowledge, and he had to quell his laughter at your animated expressions on more than one occasion. He had never noticed you before being partnered with you in class, but now he wondered how in the hell he ever missed you. He assumed that was by your own design. But you're so intelligent, kind, and beautiful. You're so uniquely you, and you're unapologetic about it. Had he been living that far under a rock? Perhaps he'd lost himself in this new persona that he projected.

Jonah snapped himself out of it when he heard his mother say his name.

"What?"

Mrs. Hauer chuckled.

"We're done with the tour, darling. Would you like to show (Y/N) around some more? I have a meeting in about ten minutes," she looked at her watch.

Jonah nodded.

"Sure. Thanks mum."

Mrs. Hauer turned back to you, extending her hand to shake yours again. She put her second hand atop yours.

"It really was a pleasure to meet you. Come back anytime," she flashed a pair of dimples at you.

Damn, this man really takes after his mother.

You thanked her again, and watched her walk to Jonah to give him a kiss on the cheek. What you didn't see, however, was that she also squeezed his hand with a wink. You saw Jonah's throat bob with a swallow. After his mother left, Jonah closed the distance between you.

"Well, we can take a look around, and I'll tell you what I know about the other exhibits," he shrugged.

You smiled with your (e/c) eyes bouncing between his.

"Okay. Your mother's wonderful. Thank you for arranging a meeting for me."

Jonah's breath hitched in his throat. What was this foreign feeling blooming in his gut? He fought to tamp it down.

"It's no problem," he admitted.

"I figured I'd at least put forth a little effort in this partnership."

Fuck. Why did he say that?

"Partnership?"

You repeated the word, tasting it on your tongue, and twisting your face into an amused expression.

"I suppose we are partners," you decided.

"I'll admit, my dread about this whole presentation with you has decreased substantially. So thanks again."

You smiled again, turning to walk down the hallway. Jonah absorbed your words for a moment before he caught up with you. The rest of your visit consisted of Jonah telling you random facts he knew about the museum's other displays. You actually laughed and chatted with him. Who knew that was possible? Beginning to see a whole new world open up before you, you decided that you should leave while you had the chance. Jonah took you back to the entrance of the building.

"I have to get going. Thanks again for arranging the meeting, and for the tour after. You're almost as good of a guide as your mom," you teased.

You swore you saw color rising up Jonah's neck.

"See you in class tomorrow," he replied.

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Thursday morning rolled around, and you were a little more chipper than usual getting ready for the day. You told yourself that it was because you were excited for class, but you knew that it was because of a specific person in class. Breezing through your first couple class periods of the day, you walked to history hugging your textbook. Upon entering the lecture hall, you looked past the rows, and spotted Jonah sitting in the chair beside your usual spot.

"Good morning," you chirped, pulling out your chair.

"Morning," he smiled back, locking his phone, and setting it down on his desk.

The two of you didn't have time to exchange much else as Sebastian entered and began lecturing shortly after. Tapping your pencil against your notebook, you cast your eyes to the side. Jonah was listening to the professor, but taking no notes. You nudged his arm on the table with your elbow.

"What? You're a genius who doesn't need to take notes?"

You whispered.

Jonah smirked in response.

"Something like that."

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the smile that pulled at your lips. The class period rolled by faster than you expected, and you were almost disappointed that you had to leave. The pleasant warmth radiating from the body beside you had no effect on this whatsoever.

The next history lecture passed by in the same fashion, and you were excited to do your presentation with Jonah for the next class. You'd put together an impressive slideshow, and Jonah had access to some stunning images, courtesy of his mother. He had initially texted you some of the pictures, asking if you liked them. You told him they were perfect to go with the flow of the powerpoint. Truthfully, you were giddy anytime you saw his name pop up on your phone. The feeling was unexpected, but not unwelcome.

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The day your presentation was due, you picked out your cutest outfit. You wore the same skirt that you had to the museum, but paired it with a bright blue top today.

"The color will compliment his eyes."

Admonishing yourself for that thought, you hurried out the door. You needed to focus. Your first two lectures of the day couldn't go by fast enough. You were constantly checking the time. Your history period finally rolled around, and you hurried to class.

From the other side of the campus, Jonah walked to lecture with his hand in his pockets. A clap on his back signaled to him that Max caught up with him.

"Oi, why are you in such a hurry to class?"

Jonah scoffed.

"I'm walking my normal pace, wanker," he joked.

Max's face twisted in amusement.

"Awfully defensive," he held his hands up in mock surrender.

"You're doing that presentation with (Y/N) today, right?"

Jonah halted his steps to look at Max as his eyes instinctively narrowed.

"Yes, why?"

Max came to a stop in front of Jonah.

"Just be careful with that one, mate. Vanessa heard a rumor that she's dating a senior."

Jonah scrunched his brow pensively. There's no way you would do that. You would tell him if you had a boyfriend, right?

"I doubt it," Jonah started.

"I've never heard her talk about one, and she spends most of her time alone."

"But have you actually asked her?"

Jonah considered the question.

"No," he curtly replied.

Max grimaced. Jonah rolled his eyes, turning to finish his walk to class. Why was he so peeved now?

Things had been going well with you. He sat beside you in class, and the two of you were texting just this morning about what to wear for the presentation, even though you had said your outfit was a surprise. That had only made him more excited to see it.

Racking his brain, Jonah tried to remember any mention of a boyfriend. Surely you wouldn't be so flirty with him if you had one. He'd taken you to meet his mother for gods sake. Sure, it was for information on your project, but that wasn't normally something he did with anyone. He'd even told some women he's dated in the past no when they asked to meet her.

Finally shuffling into the lecture hall, Jonah's mood was pretty well soured until he laid eyes on you. He could see why you'd kept your outfit for today a mystery. You looked almost illuminated with a bright blue shirt that he recognized as the color of his eyes. You were busy stacking papers at your seat, and you missed Jonah's ogling. Tightening his grip on the shoulder strap of his bag, Jonah swallowed down his nerves, and walked to his seat beside you.

"Good morning," you breathed when you saw him at last.

Your smile was genuine and beautiful. Jonah decided right then and there that he would be content with looking at that smile every day.

"Morning," he scooted out his seat.

He cleared his throat.

"(Y/N), I have a question for y-"

"Alright class!"

Sebastian's voice boomed as he entered.

"Let's get started with the presentations. Who would like to go first? (Y/N) and Jonah?"

Jonah rolled his eyes. Damn.

You sprung from your chair, and Jonah reluctantly followed you to the front of the classroom. Loading your powerpoint on the laptop on the podium, you cleared your throat, and stepped back to begin the presentation.

Throughout the whole thing, Jonah found himself watching you like an audience member. He only supplied a few facts on his rehearsed slides, while you provided the rest. Jonah lost track of time, enamored with you. The class applauding was the only signal to him that you finished your slideshow. Shifting his eyes to the class, he gave you a few complimentary claps, and followed you back to your seats.

"There. Aren't you glad we got that over with first thing?"

You whispered to him, nudging him with your elbow again.

"Sure," Jonah smiled.

"Hey, I wanted to ask yo-"

"Okay, everybody quiet down. Great presentation you two. Who's next?"

Sebastian's voice resonated over Jonah's again. Jonah sighed, sitting back in his chair. The two of you sat through a handful of other presentations. Jonah couldn't help but notice that your phone vibrated with a message. You immediately picked it up, and smiled at the screen. His eyes tried to focus on your phone, but he couldn't quite see what you were looking at.

Shit. He shouldn't be trying to look at your phone. That's total creep behavior. He knew that, but he also had this feeling nagging at the back of his throat. What if what his friends had heard was true? What would he do then? He was pretty well ensnared by you at this point. There was no denying it.

Jonah watched you pick up your phone several more times, giggling at the screen. He began tapping his pencil on his notebook. He was getting himself worked up.

"Who are you texting?"

He whispered. The question had escaped his lips before he could contain it. You turned to examine him curiously. He saw defensiveness spring into your eyes.

"Why? What're you playing at?"

Jonah was taken aback. He hadn't expected that response, but what did he really think? That he could just infringe on your privacy like that? He had no claim over you whatsoever. He probably had the least amount of claim over you of anybody, in fact. Scrambling for something to say, Jonah opened and closed his mouth a few times. Your expression shifted to one of anger, and then to one of embarrassment. Before he could even form a response, you gathered up your things, and promptly exited out of the back of the lecture hall.

Fuck. What had he done?

Debating on whether or not he should go after you, Jonah huffed, and snatched up his bag to follow you. Running down the hall, he caught up to your retreating form.

"Hey," he grabbed your wrist.

You turned around, but didn't meet Jonah's gaze. He could tell from how red your eyes were that you had tears in them. You made no move to speak, and only stared down at your feet.

"I'm sorry. Who you're texting is none of my business. Can I take you to lunch, and we can talk?"

Jonah let his thumb caress your inner wrist. Shivering at the soothing touch, you finally let your eyes meet his. His expression was sincere. You felt a pinch of guilt in your stomach. You simply nodded, and let Jonah lead you to the campus cafe. His fingers slid into yours, and you felt goosebumps erupt on your skin. You wiped your face with your other hand as the two of you walked in silence. Sitting down at a small table in the cafe, Jonah pulled your chair out for you.

"I can go order us some burgers. Is that okay?"

You nodded again, and folded your hands on the table. You were slightly shaking. Jonah returned to the table moments later with an order number. He sat across from you, and ducked his head to meet your eyes.

"Hey, talk to me. I apologize again for before. Is everything okay?"

You nodded.

"Yes, I'm sorry for how I reacted," you squeezed your hands tighter.

"I just got out of an abusive relationship. My ex was insanely jealous, and wouldn't even allow me to text my friends without his constant supervision."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea," Jonah swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Truthfully, I was getting paranoid because of something that my mate told me. He heard that you were dating a senior. That's why I asked who you were texting when you smiled at your phone, but I had no right to do so," he admitted.

"Yes, well, I was dating a senior. I ended it last month. He made all kinds of threats against me and himself. I suppose word of that hasn't gotten around yet," you shook your head.

"That's why I mostly keep to myself."

Jonah laid his hand over yours.

"Well, what's important is that you got away from him. He can't hurt you now. Not while I'm here."

Your eyes shot up to Jonah's. He smiled in response.

"You don't know what you're saying-" you started.

"I do," he interrupted.

"You're much too special for me to let you go now, (Y/N)."

A worker brought your burgers and fries to the table, setting the tray down between you and Jonah as your hands separated.

"Thanks," Jonah nodded at the man.

Looking down at your plate briefly, he looked back up at you again.

"Let's eat, and you can tell me everything," he reached to squeeze your hand reassuringly.

"We have an ancient attraction, (Y/N). I'm not going anywhere."

#the little mermaid 2023 #jonah hauer king #prince eric #jonah hauer king x reader #jonah hauer king x y/n #jonah hauer king imagine #jonah hauer king fanfiction #jonah hauer king x fem reader #jonah hauer king x you #my stuff #answered #😘

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hypnoneghoul · 1 year

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Hi, same anon from a few weeks ago that was asking if you could write some little sick Phantom.

I was supposed to go to the concert last night that got rescheduled, luckily I still get to go but I've been crying all morning and now am at work trying not to cry more even though it's kinda dumb because I get to go tomorrow.

Do you think I can get some more little Phantom comfort?

Thank you in advance if you do ❤️

I'm so sorry this happened darling :( and feeling like this it's not dumb at all, it's completely valid! I hope you're better now <3

this is short and rushed because I just got off work but wanted to deliver this asap, I hope it's decent

sorry for the asks that had been waiting, I'll take care of everything tommorow because today was my last day at work

First time it happened he was so scared.

He didn't know what was going on, the only thought in his fuzzy brain being "wrong". It never happened before and he was scared and didn't know what to do, where to go.

Something in his mind started to slip after his panic when he messed up again, another song. He knew it was normal, each and every one of them messed up and he never ate himself up for doing so.

But that day... he was tired. Another show in a row, not being able to get enough rest on the loud and jumping bus in between them, Phantom was exhausted. He grew to love touring, playing, but it was tiring. And he was on the verge.

Everyone was getting snappy and he was sure someone was close to actually smacking him over the head, not just playfully for the show.

He cried, under the mask, when he messed up that night. Tried to calm down, take deep breaths through the fabric muzzle and tell himself to not be dramatic. It didn't work.

Well, not exactly.

He felt his brain slowing, but not stopping at just "calm". It slowed further, until all he could think about was how scared he was of punishment for his mistake. Mistakes.

Phantom has no idea how he got through the rest of the show, but he did his best, even if he was practically shaking with held back sobs by the time the last song ended. He hoped no one noticed, he was so stupid, dramatic but he was so scared, he-

"Hey, bug," Swiss' voice cut through the haze as he squeezed Phantom's hand. When did he grab it? His eyes widened, he wasn't fast enough to hold back a whine. "You alright?"

He opened his mouth to say yes, but his words just wouldn't come out. His heart sped up impossibly, shoulders slumped as his fear only grew.

What was going on, why couldn't he think, why didn't he understand what was going on around, what was everything so loud, why his limbs felt so heavy, why-

"Calm down, kid, you're okay," he heard Swiss again.

Kid.

A kid.

That's... that's what he was.

He was just a kid who ended up in front oh thousands of people full of expectations and he failed them all. He failed his packmates, his Papa. He was just a kid but he was already a failure.

Somehow he ended up on a couch. When did he get to a couch?

The couch was... warm. And its shape was weird.

The couch was talking.

"Back with me, bug, it's alright, I've got you," it wasn't the couch, it was Swiss.

Phantom jumped, he failed Swiss too, he couldn't be comforted by him.

"Shhh, it's okay, baby," the multi ghoul cooed again, smoothing a big, warm hand over Phantom's back. It was nice. "There you go, that's the happy purr."

Baby.

Purr? He was purring?

He tried to say something, anything, but he couldn't. There was so little words in his head.

"Don't try to talk, kid, there's no need. Just relax."

Kid.

Phantom liked that, it was like Swiss... understood. Even if he himself didn't. It was nice. Swiss was nice.

He couldn't say it, but he cuddled closer, curling up more in Swiss' lap. He hoped Swiss would understand.

"There you go, yeah, just like that, kid, I've got you."

He did, Swiss did have him, Swiss was home, he was-

"Safe," Phantom mumbled, the only word he seemed to have right now.

"Yes, you're safe," Swiss chuckled.

The quintessence ghoul whined in protest, though, shook his head, "You... safe."

"I'm... safe?" Swiss asked, Phantom shook his head again.

"I... mean safe?" that got Swiss an enthusiastic nod and a happy chirp before he burrowed back into the crook of his neck. "Yes, baby, safe with me. Always safe with me."

When he was himself again, Swiss made him talk with Rain about what happened. How exactly did he feel, how did his head feel. Phantom was embarrassed, he told them it was just stupid panic attack or something, he was just being dramatic, he was tired.

Rain begged to differ.

He told Phantom he regressed. Something that Rain themself did sometimes, Dew and Mountain too, though slightly different. He told him it was normal, that he could learn to enjoy feeling all small.

Phantom could believe that... but only if Swiss would be there to keep him safe.

#im sorry theres not nuch comfort :(#hypnone's asks #hypnone writes #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #phantom ghoul #aeon ghoul #swiss ghoul #little ghouls

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indigosabyss · 7 months

Text

Gwen Poole in Daredevil Season 2: Development Trail Post

The base premise of this in the name. Gwen Poole in the second season of Netflix's Daredevil. Recently that premise has been shifted drastically, so this is a timeline of everything I've gotten so far. At first I started off with the idea of Gwenpool, Quire, and Cecil from Earth-616, coming into Earth-199999 (MCU) and bug Matt Murdock during Season 2 of his show just for funsies. Because he didn't have enough awful things happening at that point.

First came this post, featuring Foggy meeting Gwen Poole, Quentin Quire, and Cecil on a rooftop, and a follow-up.

Foggy and Cecil are the only normal ones. Chat

Matt!POV of Elektra and Gwen interacting. Excerpt

Quentin Quire's Reasons For Being Here. Excerpt

Gwen Has Eighty Nine Murder Charges. Chat

Gwen is Haunted By the 'Pool Reputation. Chat

Gwen is Haunted By Red Ghost (Listen, Original Names Are Very Fucking Hard to Think Up) Ask Interaction

Foggy is Picking Sides with Gwentin's Squabbles. Chat

The Angsty Side of This - Meta Rambling About What I Actually Hope To Achieve From This Fic

Foggy's First Time Seeing Gwen's Meta Powers - Excerpt

Before this, it's all been in a static status quo. Quire, Gwen, and Cecil from Earth-616, just doing this for the hell of it. Then, in this Brainstorm Session, I threw around the idea of shaking up the reasoning for Gwenpool being here. It also hinted that Officer Gray, the police officer from Gwen's run, would get a bigger part here. From there, it continues with a few jokes set in the original scenario.

Cecil Was Failed By The System. Chat

Would Gwen Ship MattFoggy? Poll about this Fic. The post glitched when I posted it, so there's two of them now 😭😭😭

Today, I pitched throwing half of this premise out, instead using the Poison Gwenpool from the Venomverse comics. Here is that post. Might keep Quentin and Cecil around, if they're characters people want to see. Or might drop the Poison Gwenpool idea entirely.

I like bouncing ideas off people, so tell me what your thoughts are about all this <3

#gwen poole #gwenpool #cecil gwenpool #quentin quire #kid omega #daredevil tv #netflix daredevil #daredevil #matt murdock #foggy nelson #mattfoggy #fanfiction #karen page #poison gwenpool #venom symbiote #venomverse

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manonamora-if · 7 months

Text

March Check-In

Lol. We definitely were not back on track here. We tried and SUPER FAILED at going back to the schedule.

Will March be better? Let's find out together...

Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

IF Events in the Next Month

Plan for the next month

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head over to itch.io!

February Progress

Welp... there wasn't much of a list in the January Check-in, since it was the retrospective, which included the yearly plan. Still, I did make a mini one on itch. Put together we'd get:

Play more IF and maybe review. ✅

Finish the coding of Harcourt Ch5 ❌ and editing of Ch6 ❌

Fix one of the semi-completed games: ❌

Complete the Vamp/Smoochie jam entry✅

Heyyyy 50/50. Passable grade!

I've passed the very funny number of 420 reviews on the IFDB recently, mainly working my way through the French games (since there are very few reviews and French IF peeps are neat people). There are 300+ games left on that side, it will take me a while to get there but I'm making progress (almost done with 2023!). If my pace continues... I might be able to reach 2nd place in the ranking before my 1 year anniversary of reviewing games (mid-may). Also somewhat related, I've been trying to rate more games on itch too :)

I said I would finish the coding of Harcourt... and then didn't. But MelS was more productive than me, and he finished the first draft of Chapter 6 earlier than planned... which I haven't finished commenting on either... So :/

I also didn't fix any semi-completed games. So there.

But I managed to make it for the Queer Vampire Jam and the Smoochie Jam with Teatime with a Vampire ! A 20k-long trippy game with a hot vampire and a weird show...

AND AND I finally fixed my website and my itch.io profile. It has a cool feature on the front page. And we did a little AMA a few weeks ago!

Honestly, I thought I would have been done with Teatime two weeks before it actually was completed. So that threw a wrench in the rest. And probably having to moderate a few events at once...

And the extra day clearly didn't help.

EDIT: I TOTES FORGOT, but I updated DOL-OS for an extra QOL screen at the start.

What’s happening in March?

There's always something happening in the IF world. I don't think I ever find all that happens anyway... but. Here's the ones I know!

Today is the last day to submit a Spring Thing intent! (ranked)

he Queer Vampire Game Jam ends in about three weeks. Got a vampire/human story with a LGBT+ cast? Then this is the event for you! (unranked) Also they are doing a fundraising/matching donation with submissions!

The SeedComp! (Sprouting) extended the deadline for a few more days! See @seedcomp-if for more info ;) (ranked)

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2024 se termine Lundi! Viendez faire des histoires en français!! <3 (ranked, duh)

The next @neointeractives mini-jam will all be about bringing back old jams... Check out the Revival Jam !

The Text Adventure Literacy Jam 2024 just started! It will be looking for "parser for beginners" entries until May!

Note: @neointeractives will have jams all year long. One a month/or so. And the next Planting Round of @seedcomp-if will start as soon as the results are dropped.

The PLANtm for March

Busy plan once again. Here are the thing I'm hoping to do or finish this month:

Complete my French Comp entry. The deadline is in 3 days. Will I make it? Probably. Will it be good? Probably be not because I've been writing it only in the past two weeks. You can expect some "love" letters though...

Complete my SpringThing entry. It will be all about fixing typos and potential bug. The code will be ready next week anyway. Maybe slap some cool-er animations.

Play more games! Consider this done. There's the Smoochie Jam, the SeedComp! and the FrenchComp right there...

Finish the Code Ch5 of Harcourt and edit Ch6. At least one round of edits would be good. So I can put MelS to work again.

Finish fixing The Roads Not Taken. I'm so sorry babe. I'm not avoiding you I swear. I actually haven't bee on the computer with your files this month...

LET'S DO THIS! WE CAN DO IT!

The 2024 To-Do List:

I have done nothing here. So here's the list again for nothing.

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC + overall the French version to match

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces (giving up on the translation)

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent - this year should be it - for real)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm getting ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (2025? Might end up being a ST?)

#dev log #progress #interactive fiction #check-in

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burningdarkfire · 3 months

Text

well.

i've been getting some bug bites the past couple of days and while washing my sheets today am 99% sure i found a bed bug so. i guess that's happening to me now.

called the landlord pretty much immediately and then spent the entire evening nuking my bed and linens with the dryer and the steamer, which hasn't actually made me feel any better about going to sleep. it's 3am here and i'm just avoiding going to bed at this point since i don't think there's much else i can actually do tonight. in theory the landlord will have a professional pest control company come through ... soon? one hopes?

i've cancelled half my plans for the weekend and just plan to shower before/wear clothes fresh out of the dryer for the other half. hopefully that's enough.

i think i might have brought them back from miami, i was suspicious of a cluster of bites i got on my shoulder while we were there (could've been mosquito bites, but it was exactly the sort of cluster people describe for bed bugs, which hilariously i don't actually have right now, all of my bites are individual or max in pairs) but my friend helped me strip the bed in the hotel and we really didn't find any other signs. i was still careful coming back though (threw all clothes into the washer/dryer immediately, i even washed and dried the bag i took with me which i definitely don't always do) but i mean, there's no point in overthinking the "blame" since we'll never actually know.

i guess i'm lucky that at least we have in-unit washer/dryer combo so it's convenient to do all of this laundry. it's good that i'm the perfect amount of reactive to the bites in that i react but i don't seem to be allergic (i was allergic to some bugs bites as a kid and it sucked, but those days seem to be behind me now - knocking on wood!) so i'm hopeful we caught it early. we also didn't find any other signs while cleaning tonight, and we checked the mattress and bedframes and everything. tbh if a dead body didn't literally drop in front of me i think we'd still be wondering if it was really bed bugs at all. but at least we should be getting professional treatment covered by the landlord.

we actually had a cockroach problem in this apartment a few years ago that was successfully eradicated after .. i think 3 treatments from the pest control company? so i mean. it would be amazing if this went better than that lol but at least they did do something. at least i don't have cockroaches and bed bugs right now (knocking on wood so fucking hard).

i'm generally a good sleeper so i'm hoping that will carry me through. i just need to get ready for bed, lie down, and go to sleep. i keep telling myself that the worst thing to happen with bed bugs is just that you get bug bites, which sucks but really isn't the end of the world. they're a pretty simple problem compared to other pests.

my roommate hasn't had any bites and she was very good about putting up a strong front for me today while i've cried like five separate times already. but like what even am i going to do about it anymore right now. i should just go to sleep!!

if you've read this far ... thanks! i'm sorry if it's gross! i don't know how to deal with this but i would really like someone to hold my hand and reassure me that the world is not currently ending even if it feels like it 😭

#my posts #text

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asksidon · 2 years

Note

I hate to put 2 requests in at once, but with valentines day coming up I wanted to give you time to think up a valentines drabble. That time of year has always been hard for me and I’m sure it’s hard for others too sometimes.

I love my fishy prince, so obviously wanna request a Sidon x fem reader, but if you could find time and inspiration I also think it would be cool if you could do a Bazz x reader for the Bazz lovers here. Separately of course.

TIA ❤️ your writing always makes my day!

After wandering for a while, you've found yourself in the Zodobon Highlands. The air is crisp up here, but it is a relief after working up a sweat to get here. You sit underneath the shade of a tall pine to catch your breath, your heart quickening when you hear rustling several feet away from you.

When you turn, you see the Zora prince standing between the trees. He is holding a bow and arrow, which he leans against a trunk. "I thought I'd learn how to do something new today," he explains. "Are you here to avoid it too? Valentine's Day, I mean."

You've been trying not to give it too much thought. Your intention wasn't so much to run away as it was to spend a day with yourself. Then you think about the market inundated with people trying to sell you chocolate-covered strawberries in heart-shaped containers and all the pink, white, and red everywhere. Balloons, cards, candies. You didn't want to think about it, but it was everywhere. So it only made sense that you turned and walked in the other direction . . . and kept walking, for some time.

"I guess I am, yeah," you say. "I've never liked chocolate and flowers all that much, but days like this make me feel like I'm crazy for feeling that way."

Sidon comes to sit by you. "I know what you mean. I like chocolate and flowers well enough, really, but Tula and her crew are a little overwhelming. I suppose I have no right to complain . . . I'm not lonely, at least. Not unhappy. I just prefer to stay away from them."

You feel a little conflicted as you consider his response, not relishing the thought of Tula as Sidon's Valentine. You often wonder if he has someone, but if he did, then you suppose you wouldn't have found him here alone. "I'm glad you're not unhappy. Same for me. The day is just kind of blah. I wish I felt that way about someone that I could actually be with."

Sidon studies you and picks a silent princess, rolling the stem between his fingers. "Do you feel that way about someone you can't be with, then?"

You think it is safer not to answer. A beat passes and you stare at the pool of water below the mountains, where Vah Ruta rests. You remember the story about how Link rode on Sidon's back to tame the Divine Beast. You wish you had an adventure like that one to take on with Sidon; you wish you had some special talent or ability that would make you stand out to him.

"I kind of feel that way too," he offers after several moments of silence. "The people who bug me on Valentine's Day aren't the one I want to hear from. So, I hide . . . because it hurts to see her, but then she finds me anyway."

It takes his words a minute to sink in. You look over and realize his hand is trembling as he fidgets with the flower, his gaze flickering from your eyes to a random patch of pine needles on the ground. "I hate it that I feel like I can't ask her on a date," he continues. "I very much want to, but I worry about the attention she'll get. The Zora can be a little . . . unwelcoming sometimes, especially toward Hylians, and when a matter concerns their prince. If anyone ever hurt her, I would feel responsible. So, it's easier to just hope someday the feelings will go away, and avoid everything romantic in the meantime."

"Oh, Sidon." You reach for his hands. Words and thoughts fail you. Of all the things you expected to happen on this day, this would not have even been the last. It was never a thought to begin with, so it had no sequence in the order of your expectations.

"I'm sorry," he says. He holds your hands for a moment, then pulls back. "This is incredibly selfish of me. To tell you how I feel, but to be too cowardly to act on it. But you seemed . . . sad, and I didn't want you to think . . . to believe that no one is thinking of you on this day, because I am. I always am, Y/N."

It is just like him. To be sad himself, but to see an opportunity to make someone else happy and take it. He has made you happy, but it is bittersweet. You want the thing he suggests so much. Until now, you had thought it impossible because you believed there was no way he could feel anything other than friendship for you.

"You're not a coward." You understand his reasoning, and you've tried to stay out of the spotlight because you understand so well. Even revealing how close your friendship is with the prince could bring unwanted attention from his fan club. "You're a prince, who will one day be king. Of course it matters what your people think about you. You must do what is right, even if . . . even if I feel the same way about you."

Both of you stare silently at Vah Ruta for a while. The sun is beginning to sink to oblivion to give the moon its turn, a chilly wind blowing through the trees. Sidon releases a breath and says, "To Hylia with what people think." He shifts to rest his weight on his knee, and he looks like he is about to propose. "Y/N, I want you to be my Valentine. Will you?"

He holds the silent princess out to you. "I should have gotten you real flowers," he says, frowning. "More of them, I mean. A whole bouquet or twenty."

You accept his offering. "One is more than enough," you tell him. "Really, I hate getting flowers as gifts. They wilt and die, and then I get sad."

You and the silent princess are nearly crushed in his embrace. "I promise I'll never give you another flower, then. Wait." He pulls back again. "Are you saying yes?"

You chuckle, wipe your eyes that have suddenly become watery, and nod. "About that date . . ."

"Yes. Where do you want to go?"

He sees you look longingly toward Vah Ruta and nods.

"I like that idea very much. Climb on my back -- it will be much faster than walking."

#sidon x reader #happy valentine's day!#early #millie berra

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aoyama-division · 11 months

Text

ARB Birthday Special: Luis Kōkyū

~~ October 25th ~~

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity."

"...What do you mean I don't have to work today? In case you forget, Wednesday is one of our busiest days. ...No, I didn't schedule or request a day off. ...What? My employees told me to take today off? Why? ...Because... it's my birthday? ...Oh. October 25th. It's that day, already?"

Voice Lines:

*Sighs* "31 years old. I can scarcely believe it. It doesn't feel much different from any other age, to be honest. I know they say you get wiser as you get older, but I don't believe it. My teammates are living proof of that. ...Still, I can't help but feel as if I've gotten better at controlling my temper this past year. Though... that would be a lot easier to do if there weren't so many people out there trying to get a rise out of me."

"My parents didn't even bother to wish me a 'happy birthday'. I'm not even sure if they knew today was my birthday. I can't say I'm surprised, though. They didn't do anything last year. I'd be a fool to expect anything different this year. I stopped my Abuela from getting upset. Like I told her before, their actions aren't a reflection on either her or me. I know she knows that's true, but I can suspect she still doesn't like it."

"Tomi. ...Yeah, thanks, I guess. ...Look, I'm really not in the mood to deal with any of your shit today, okay? So if you just came here to be an ass, then please leave. *Sighs* ...Fine, what did you get me for my birthday this time? What is this? ...An electric lighter? For grilling food? ...Huh. Okay, I'll admit. You've outdone yourself this time. Thanks a lot, Tomi. ...Yeah, I said 'thanks'. Don't let it go to your head. If it gets any bigger, it may explode."

"Hey Karada. ...Thanks. Glad you took the time out to do so. ...Maybe because you did miss your birthday this year? It may have something to do with the fact that you were too busy bugging me about helping you find a gift for Lola this year. ...Yes, it took the better part of the day, remember? ...Right. So, what is it? ...An electric massager? ...Huh. I did say that, didn't I? It completely slipped my mind until now. ...Thanks, Karada. I really appreciate it.

Tomi Lines:

A most joyous and welcome birthday to you, Luis. ...'Thanks'? That's all I get from going out of my way and wishing you a 'happy birthday'? How tasteless. ...Ugh, nice to see your vulgar language is still the same as usual. But fine, if it meets that much to you, I'll cease being a... lesser animal for you. Now would you like my birthday gift to you, or not? ...Good. Now take this."

"The other day I ate some grilled meat at your restaurant, and I could taste the burnt wood on it. So, I had Hino purchase this for you. I hope you use it and make the taste of your food much better. ...I'm glad you think so. ...What's this? You actually 'thanked' me? ...Ugh, your crude way of speaking still does you no favors, my friend."

Karada Lines:

"Happy birthday, Lu! I had to cancel my afternoon lesson with one of my clients to come wish you a happy birthday. ...It's no problem, man! You're one of my best bros! Besides, we have to celebrate birthdays any chance we get. I don't think we celebrated mine this year. ...We didn't?! Why not?! ...Oh right. We needed to find those roses for Lola. Man, I hope she liked them! Thanks for that, by the way."

"Anyway, here's my present, bro! I noticed you been rubbing your arms and necks lately. You mentioned that you've been getting aches and pains, so I got you this massager to help you after a stressful day. ...Glad you like it, bro! And no problem! You deserve it! Hope you enjoy the rest of your day, man!"

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #luis kōkyū #tomi chōten #karada kessaku #jet set trio #aoyama division #happy birthday #happy birthday luis 2023 #alternative rap battle #hypmic arb

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sandwhich-lady · 4 months

Text

The time has finally come. Over all four years of my high school career I made a running list of quotes from high school and I vowed to post it when I graduated. And well, the time has come. So without further ado I present

Things High Schoolers Have Said: A Saga

Freshman year:

*while talking to a teacher* "this just proves short people are a menace to society"

"If we were comparing to spices, you *points at teacher* would be a ghost pepper and you *points at friend* would be ketchup"

Someone walking by: "like oh, hell is real"

"No dont trust me"

"You need to eat food bitch"

*talking about people hating pineapple on pizza* "I hope you had a satisfactory life because Imma end it"

"The eyesore of a church the sky daddy punished me with"

"Frankly, I dont know if I've been alive for 200 days"

"Are you eating a fucking egg with pineapple"

"They're like oh highschool is preparing you for college and then you get to college and your professor shows up in a t-shirt and shorts and with a jug of sprite"

"I had a very strong urge to eat my math homework" -me

"Honestly at this rate, why dont you trust me?"

"Because I still have some hope yet"

*laughs* " wow I dont know how to crush that"

"...There are cursive numbers??"

Sophomore year:

"Dont do anything you wont regret"

"I dont have the energy to bounce, Amy"

"I'm gonna quit band so I can work on actually not killing myself"

"I have the mentality of a 12 year old who just discovered sex"

"YOU GOTTA FLOWWW"

"LET ME ABSORB THE POTATO"

"You are so white. You are *so* white oh my god the the double l in El Pollo Loco not pronounced like a hard l! It's a yo sound"

"Apparently the bugs are really horny today"

"Wait where are you going?"

"I've been traumatized enough"

*stares at smushed sandwhich like questioning the audacity*

*yelled* "You're a loser! Talk to me when you're over five feet tall!"

"Crying, shaking, throwing up. Violently shaking."

"Ah! My lightsaber is stuck" -my euro teacher

"I cant wear crocs, I'm a 6'3" white guy"

"Kangaroos are like standing rabbits"

*picking victims for a murder mystery game*

"Mr [teacher's]...wife"

"Leave her out of this!"

"Is joe biden your phone lock screen?"

*offended* "no its pitbull"

"I almost punched a freshman yesterday"

"How much would you sell your soul for?"

"Panera bread mac n cheese"

"What's the point of fanfiction if it doesnt have sex in it?"

"Nah hes 32, not years old, cause that would be pedophilia"

"You shower naked??"

"I really want to annihilate an uncut loaf of bread"

"However, I think the disco ball constitutes sexy time"

"Sometimes, we all have to get married, and polygamy can be a byproduct of that, for the good of all humanity"

"I'd rather be gay than [be around] drunk men"

"Do you think I could fuck the liberty bell?"

"If you wear those fucking shoes to prom, I will curb stomp you and leave you in the McDonalds parking lot"

"Sometimes you're a little mentally funky"

"My stomach hurts so bad right now. If I throw up, sorry 🤷‍♀️"

"People were trying to commit social interaction with me so I had to leave the classroom"

"I've been channeling all my insanity into [AP] chem all year and now that's its done... I'm just insane"

"I feel like I inhaled liquid crack"

"Why is there communism?!"- looks up in math class to see the communist symbol drawn on the board

Junior Year:

"Bro you'll never guess who I saw"

"Who?"

"Everyone we hate"

-on the first day of school

"Hold it STEADILY, like a BAGUETTE"

"I may be a little obsessed with soup"

*emerging from behind a pillar* "a little? a LITTLE???"

"You're gonna pass out, that's on you"

"I would kill for a baby leopard"

"Everyone in set crew knows my name because you guys keep on yelling it"

"Did you just tell me to piss in a bucket??"

"You're the adolf Hitler of ladders"

"No we're going to invade crustacean world, duh"

"What if hes not here today?"

"No he is, hes wearing his lighting McQueen crocs"

"You're a potato colored mashed potato"

*wrapped in a pumpkin blanket* "its spooky season !!"

"I'm bringing something from my culture...beans on toast"

"But it was funny, therefore I have no regrets"

"What are you testing?"

"Uhh, my will to live"

"What constitutes above average calves?"

"I hate gifts and I hate you! *trips* ...that was karma"

"I can bring sauces...I can bring a variety of sauce" (for waffles)

"Let me be your roomba" to the tune of 🎶let me be your woman🎵

"Life in the midwest used to be really lonely and isolated and like sad...seems to be the same today"

"I don't want to go to No Place for Hate because...I love hating"

"If the grades dont touch neither do you"

"Anything can be a tortellini if you try hard enough"

"Lauren, does this curve look stupid"

"Its almost kidnapping. We dont do that here"

"Would you tell us [the embarrassing nickname] if Landon rizzed you up?"

"No"

"You heartless bitch"

"My moms a marriot slut"

"I think I can gaslight her into giving me an A"

"Their buttholes would have been shaking!"

"Their buttholes WERE shaking"

"Nuh uh!"

"I feel like I should be eating more strawberries...I think god told me"

"So I have to buy it on amazon like a fucking capitalist"

"SUE ME FOR BEING WHITE" -after a heated discussion about bagels

"But like who in their right mind would name their child 'funny valentine'?"

"Wait why did you say 'happy eggs'?"

"No you are not doing a homestuck quote"

Creative writing teacher: "if you do a homestuck quote you will be penalized"

"Mine's an ant romcom"

"Get your baby out of my marmalade"

"I just had the most refreshing five minute nap"

"He bit half the worm and we were like ryan no"

"Anyway, as I was saying, you look like a penguin"

"Are you shitting my dick!"

*after taking a math quiz*

"I'm gonna throw away this pencil, its cursed"

"Got that D tingle"

"I hate it here"

"I'm either the smartest person alive or dumb as shit"

“I get chills when she sings that part”

"I get chills when you shut your mouth"

"[This theatre company] is going to have so many suitcases. Maybe next year we can do a play about planes"

"Thank you?"

"Its a compliment"

"Thank you!"

"Wheres the quicky changy... excuse my lango"

"And colleges want to see that you're suffering"

*playing a game where you pick a category and name things in that category as fast as you can* "Marvel characters. Magneto!"

"Uhh dementia"

"If my heels arent in here I'm wearing crocs"

*comparing id/drivers license photos*

"I look like I'm on drugs"

"I look like I sold you the drugs"

Student A: "Arent we just the best students?"

Teacher: "Uh huh"

Student A: "That didn't sound very sincere"

Student B: "That's because it wasnt"

Student A: "oh"

Senior year:

“I pip pip and I cheerio, it’s just what I do”

“Excuse me, I need to be a little bitch”

*to psych teacher* “I was just wondering, since you’re antisocial, how did back to school night go?”

“I’m not saying a narc and a twink is the same thing, I’m saying you look like a narc AND a twink”

“You know how to turn that on??”

“Yeah, there’s an on button!”

“Bro I went to the beach recently and like I’ve never felt water like that before”

*talking about the existence of chocolate cows*

*from across the room* “what did you just call me?!?”

“What the fuck is anthropology? Is that plants?”

*to phone* “call pickle”

“Oh fiddlesticks!”

“Oh shitdicks!”

“I caught a charizard! I’m gonna name it penis!”

“People keep calling me baby shark and I just want to *strangling motion*, I want to tell them I’m not baby shark, I’m mommy shark”

“Some of these presentations are not going to eat, and I’m gonna be mad because I love a good slideshow”

Friend: “Carissa, why is your laptop so big?”

Me: “what?!” *looks around for validation*

Other friend: “look, I didn’t wanna say anything…”

*someone absolutely headbanging to Last Christmas*

*psych teacher going on a tangent*

“What’s he yapping about?”

“The uzsh (usual)”

*while running past us* “I parked my car in fucking Timbuktu”

*a little later*

Me: “this isn’t Timbuktu, this is like Canada”

*about Winston from 1984* “Damn this bitch is weak…I could bench him”

“So not a fursona but a humansona”

“I feel like I wanna build a bomb”- said in a physics classroom hopped up on Celsius

“Ugh this is so greasy”

“Just how I like my women…I don’t know why I said that”

*about a pair of butterfly scissors* “Look! It’s a little butterfly! Flap flap bitch”

“Are you being racist against clowns?”

“I think I’m gonna go home and do a backflip”

“You’re a furry”

“And you’re a whore”

“I know :)”

“I don’t even like books but I like women”

“Who wouldn’t want this hunk of meat” - tiny Asian girl

*after saying something nice about him* “No but also Carson you suck and you’re awful and we all hate you”

*wins blooket* “I guess I am serving cunt today”

A: “If you were a worm, what’s the first thing you would do?”

B: “Uhh burrow in the dirt.”

A: “That’s such a basic answer”

B: “Well what would you do??”

A: “World domination.”

[some time later]

A: “If you were a cricket what would you do?”

B: “World domination”

A: *weird look* “uh…ok”

B: “What would you do???”

A: “I don’t know, chirp”

“She was like ‘can someone read the definition of male vocalist?’ We don’t even have a male vocalist! The entire cast is nuns!”

“I have this theory, from what I’ve observed. Guys act gayer, girls are gayer”

Psych teacher: “what are you gonna do in Australia? Engineering?”

Alumni: “I’m gonna do women”

“You know what sounds really good right now?”

“S’mores?”

“Jumping off a fucking cliff”

“I was gonna serve cunt today but I slept in. I’ll serve cunt tomorrow”

“I wish I was able to hibernate. I wish I was given the same grace bears wear given”

“What are you so happy about?”

“I have CHICKEN!!”

“I’m gonna bark at him”

“I am sorry to disappoint everyone, but I am a straight individual”

“Four plus four equals ate”

“Ooh what’s 64 divided by 2”

“…32?”

“Oh-“ *was trying to get eight*

“Oh my god, oh my god”

*concerned* “what??”

“My uterus.”

“This train is so hot [read: attractive]”

“That’s called a concussion sweetie”

*to psych teacher* “you have stds?”

“You think he has women??”

“Did I ask?”

“No but I answered”

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there”

“Banana- wait no”

“The chicken is suicidal, the chicken is depressed, and I am the chicken” - about why did the chicken cross the road

“If I wanna hear sonic injesting coke, then I’m going to hear sonic injesting coke godammit”

“This is my bad ear-“

“The fact that you have a bad ear is really concerning”

“Well you have two bad eyes so fuck you”

#this is very long but very worth it trust #i do still have context for most if not all of these #i also have a separate much shorter list of teacher quotes #so that may be getting a post #anyway #school #high school #quotes #things high schoolers have said #high school quotes #student

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sevicia · 1 year

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(Dano) Riddler playlist + explanations

❔Youtube / Spotify❔

🚨 Disclaimer: These are my personal interpretations of his character. There are a few songs that are purely here because of fanon interpretations I have seen of him (that I don't necessarily share, but still think are neat). The songs are in no particular order.

🚨Disclaimer 2: There are spoilers for Year One! Also, a lot of these are about his relationship to Batman. In my defense, Batman is a major part of his development, motivation and most importantly, the trigger that really gets the story going.

Happy Meal I by The Cardigans - This is what I imagine a more calm Edward would think about when imagining a meeting with Batman, especially because of the Lyrics: "and now I've found a partner / no one can be happier than I am / and now I've found a new friend / no one can be happier than me"

Happy Meal II by The Cardigans - This is basically the same song except with a few minor changes in the lyrics and a slightly different vibe but I still include it because hey, it's a good song and it reminds me of him.

Of Angels and Angles by The Decemberists - A calm song that I think portrays his pain in a much quieter way than the comics. Lyrics: "there's a tough word on your crossword / there's a bed bug nipping a finger / there's a swallow, there's a calm / here's a hand to lay on your open palm today"

#1 Crush by Garbage - Riddlebat fanon song, about what Edward feels for The Batman, his willingness to be noticed and the fact he sees Batman in everything as a source of hope and comfort. Lyrics: "see your face every place that I walk in / hear your voice every time that I'm talking / you will believe in me / and I will never be ignored"

Paranoid Android by Radiohead - This song is so him it's not even funny. The first verse is him being overwhelmed by the constant corruption he sees in Gotham. The second is his relationship to Bruce after he learns of Renewal ("when I am king, you will be first against the wall"). The third is his views towards Gotham elite: they are pigs who don't care about the people they step on, but they will know his name eventually, as The Riddler. The fourth is a reflection while he's in Arkham and everything is over (after the flood): it's a desperate calm and a reminder of his days at the orphanage, trapped and hopeless.

My Iron Lung by Radiohead - This is half vibe half actual Riddler stuff, it makes me think of what Edward would've felt as a teenager; to me he would've been cynical and dissilusioned with life. Lyrics: "faith, you're driving me away / you do it everyday / you don't mean it / but it hurts like hell"

Bound For The Floor by Local H - The whole song reminds me of the part in the comics where Edward is trying to figure out what is really going on with Renewal and becomes frustrated. Lyrics highlight: "and you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic / and you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic"

I'm Your Boyfriend Now by They Might Be Giants - This is more of a Riddlebat song than a purely Riddler song and dips more into fanon than anything else, since a common interpretation of his character is having stalker tendencies when regarding romantic interests (looking at Batman rn). I think it's pretty fitting and this fanart inspired me to put it here. Lyrics: "you don't have to say it, I can see it in your eyes / I can feel it in your heart / I can hear it in your silence"

Inside My Head by Radiohead - The entire song is VERY close to his character (or at least how I view it), he is constantly blaming himself and when he realizes his situation had always been out of his control to begin with he turns to spite against everyone and everything that wronged or rejected him. For a long time he doesn't understand or know why his life is the way it is because he drowns in self-deprecation. Lyrics: "what do you want from me? / now you got me / now my fingers bleed / now they're staring at me / I'm a coward now / I hold my peace"

All I Think About Now by Pixies - Just a personal headcanon of mine that if he'd ever had a happy moment (such as the hope he felt when Thomas Wayne told him he had a future), he would mourn it and drown in all the possibilities of what his life could've been. Lyrics: "about the things that didn't last / if I could go to the beginning / then for sure I would be another way / make it better for today"

Baby, You're a Bomb by Get Set Go - Fanon Riddlebat song. The interpretation of Edward being so desperate for Batman's attention and being into pain at the same time is a very interesting mix. Lyrics: "take my body, take my soul / take the thoughts inside my head / you can masticate me whole / just don't leave me 'til I'm dead"

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - About Edward's rage and discontent, and his feelings towards the city. Lyrics: "the world is a vampire sent to drain / secret destroyers hold you up to the flames / and what do I get for my pain? / betrayed desires and a piece of the game"

Only by Nine Inch Nails - Edward's relationship towards Batman as he transforms into The Riddler. He is losing his old self, knowing that whoever he used to be is not of help to his cause: the only thing that matters is the pain he's felt. It also works as a reflection of his feelings towards Batman after he is rejected by him in the talking room scene. Lyrics: "now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be / and I can see things I never should've seen / and now I know why, and now I know why / things aren't as pretty on the inside"

Trouble Awful Devil Evil by They Might Be Giants - A moment of calmness (that I wish he could have) as he falls asleep thinking of what he will become. Here because of this fanart. Lyrics: "trouble awful devil evil / trouble awful devil evil / bat wings flapping just over my bed / swooping whirling around overhead"

No Surprises by Radiohead - Another more calm song that I believe still portrays his feelings towards his life accurately, seeing it through a lens of sadness rather than rage and despair. Lyrics: "a heart that's full up like a landfill / a job that slowly kills you / bruises that won't heal / you look so tired, unhappy / bring down the government / they don't, they don't speak for us"

Heaven Beside You by Alice In Chains - Again a song about his relationship with Batman (sorry), more of a headcanon/personal interpretation than anything. Still I think it shows how he would feel if he ever came to peace with the realization that Batman is Bruce Wayne (unlikely, but still). The song is pretty repetitive so I don't think it's necessary to write down the lyrics.

Bailando Solo by Los Bunkers - Token song in spanish, about what his teenage self felt a lot of the time (in my opinion). Lyrics, translated by me: "now that you're here, drowned in the middle of the crowd / and you're willing to do more than you can stand / the speakers amplifying the truth / now that you're here, in the middle of loneliness"

Discipline by Nine Inch Nails - Yet another song about him and Batman, about how he feels they help each other, and about how his cause and his "relationship" with him become his reasons to live. Lyrics: "and now it's starting up / feels like I'm losing touch / and nothing matters to me / nothing matters as much"

Creep by Radiohead - I couldn't NOT include this here. He often feels inadequate, rejected both by society and by himself, and he finds meaning in his life (or at least a new reason, a new drive) when he first sees Batman. He idolizes him as a beacon of hope and justice, someone worth something as he is making a change for the city. Lyrics: "you're just like an angel / your skin makes me cry / you float like a feather / in a beautiful world"

Stan by Eminem ft. Dido - Here ENTIRELY because of this fanart which I saw and thought to myself "yeah, it checks out". The song itself tells a story, but the overall meaning of it still stands: an obsessed fan that believes himself to have the right to make demands of his object of affection, as well has having a special connection/relationship with him. Lyrics: "you gotta call me, man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose / sincerely yours, [Edward] — P.S. We should be together too"

I Am You by Depeche Mode - About how he views Batman as a partner and, in a way, an extension of himself: they fight for the same cause, they are together, they understand each other. Lyrics: "strange compulsions that I can't control / pure possession of my heart and soul / I must live with this reality"

March Of The Pigs by Nine Inch Nails - Pretty much just his feelings towards Gotham's elite and what his plans are for them. Lyrics: "bite, chew, suck away the tender parts / I wanna break it up, I wanna smash it up, I wanna fuck it up / I wanna watch it come down"

Aaand that's it! Sorry it got so long lol, I had a lot to say :] you can rb this if you wanna, encouraged because I would love for more people to see / hear it and tell me what they think 🥳

#edward nashton #the riddler #dano riddler #the batman #the batman 2022 #riddlebat #(I wish I knew who the artist of the last fanart mentioned was but I can't find them .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠.)#riddler

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psychicdragoncoffee · 6 months

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Actually Reviewing Saints Row [2022] - Part I

A little while ago I made a post regarding my first impression of the game. At the time whatever impressions I had were from other reviewers. Most didn't seem to enjoy the game. So I decided to play it myself. So, as a warning, this will be a bit of a long post since I tend to ramble.

[TL;DR: Despite having a pretty bad first impression I mostly enjoyed what I have experienced so far.]

The release of this game was probably a disaster for the game company. I believe the main issue is that a lot of fans wanted a game to be like the first two games. I was one of them as Saints Row 2 is one of my favorite games.

But when it was revealed Volition was going in a different direction there was some backlash. Then some employees of the company shot back. So unsurprising some players like myself would have a pretty early bad impression.

Not only was the hope of having a game like Saints Row 2 dashed this game wasn't even on Steam at first. I didn't like the idea of shelling money to a platform I didn't even use for a game I didn't know if I would like or not. So, I waited until I learned that it was on Steam and on sale. I pretty much bought the game the day before writing this at about $10 [Thank Gabe for seasonal sales.]

Out of the gate, I really love the range of options for character customization. The customization was always a big draw for me. Some options might seem stupid but there were quite a few I did love. Though was sad that my favorite face scar from 3 and 4 wasn't in this game.

When playing through the opening I did have a hard time getting into it. Partly from the main character acting like a badass while not really being so. A big cringy but not too bad. After that first part, I did actually enjoy the game. [I didn't get too far into yet. So I'm just going to post my thoughts as I progress.

Surprisingly the part that many people complained about was either cut or I was trying to drive normally so I didn't actually get to trigger it. Hard to say either way. I'm glad I didn't have to sit through it. [Boss just saying nonsense while driving. Mostly cussing.]

The music is nice. The design is not bad either. At least what I've seen. I also don't hate the characters [friends] I am hoping the bugs most people complained about have been ironed out that playing today might actually be a better experience than it had been closer to launch. [One of the reasons I prefer to wait.]

I think the best thing to do is kinda separate it from the past games. Though it's called Saints Row it's still quite different.

#saints row #saints row reboot

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thepastisalreadywritten · 1 year

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World’s first ice cream made from plastic

Reuters | 28 September 2023

The world’s first food made from plastic waste - according to its developer - is vanilla ice cream.

Despite being locked in a freezer in London, she hopes it kickstarts a heated debate about the future of food and the plastic pollution crisis.

The ice cream is actually an art installation called ‘Guilty Flavours’ by artist and designer Eleanora Ortolani, 27, intended to challenge the way we think about plastic waste and what we are - and are not - prepared to eat.

"Guilty Flavours is what I believe is the first sample of ice cream made from plastic waste,” Ortolani told Reuters at Central Saint Martins, part of the University of the Arts London.

“It's coming from the same plastic as we can find in bottles, plastic bottles,” she said.

The process, developed by scientists in Edinburgh, harnesses the metabolic power of bacteria and enzymes to behave as eco-friendly factories to digest polyethylene terephthalate (PET) and turn it into vanillin, the molecule that gives vanilla its flavour.

“There are certain enzymes which do certain chemical reaction,” Dr Joanna Sadler, a biotechnologist at the University of Edinburgh, told Reuters.

“So if you plug those together, you can get through to lots of different chemical products," she said.

Plastic is made of a string of molecules bonded together into what are known as polymers.

Sadler broke those bonds with a hungry microbe, leaving her with molecules that were no longer plastic.

That former PET-soup was then easily processed by another bacteria into vanillin.

Sadler's research, published in the Journal Biochemist in December 2021, focuses on degrading and upcycling plastic and using it as feedstock for microbial growth.

She produced the specially engineered bugs for Ortolani's project but was at pains to point out that the student's ice cream is very much a research project.

It's not currently for human consumption.

"I've even had members of the public email me saying it's irresponsible to encourage people to eat plastic," Sadler said.

"It is really important that we take the safety side of it really, really seriously and we make it very clear that this has to go through exactly the same regulatory processes and food standard processes as any other food ingredient.

And only once it has been through all of those would it go anywhere near any kind of consumer product."

Ortolani, who is from Verona, Italy, said Guilty Flavours was inspired by her frustration with the failure of the recycling system to stop plastic polluting the environment.

It is locked away to highlight what she says is a looming global food crisis.

“We have the tools today to rethink the food system we're living in,” she said.

“This is ready now and today but nobody can really touch it or interact with it because it's not tested for safety yet."

Vanilla, sometimes called 'green gold', is the second most expensive spice in the world after saffron.

youtube

UK designer recycles plastic into vanilla ice cream

27 September 2023

Introducing the world's first food made from plastic waste... vanilla ice cream!

Named Guilty Flavours, the ice cream has been designed to provoke viewers into thinking about plastic waste.

The ice cream was developed by scientists in Edinburgh, who used bacteria and enzymes to digest PET plastic and turn it into vanillin -- the molecule that gives vanilla its flavour.

The ice cream is still in its research phase and currently not for human consumption.

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imrainfully · 10 months

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(Beautiful -Heathers)

September 1st, 1989

Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person

You know, I think there's good in everyone, but here we are first day of senior year

I look around at these kids I've known all my life and

I ask myself: What happened?

(Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-Eyes! Poser! Lard Ass!)

We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased

(Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!)

Singing and clapping

Laughing and napping

Baking cookies, eating paste

(Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!)

Then we got bigger

That was the trigger

Like the Huns invading Rome

Sorry!

Welcome to my school

This ain't no high school

This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath

And count the days

We're graduating soon

(White trash!)

College will be paradise

If I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray for a better way

If we changed back then

We could change again

We can be beautiful

Ow!

Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

Get away, nerd

(Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!)

Things will get better

Soon as my letter

Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown

Awake from this coma

Take my diploma

Then I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls

And smoky French cafes

(Watch it!)

Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze!

Ooops

Ram Sweeney, third year as linebacker

And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick!

What did you say to me skank?

Aaah, nothing!

But I know, I know, I know

Life can be beautiful

I pray, I pray

For a better way

We were kind before

We can be kind once more

We can be beautiful

Ah! Hey Martha

Hey

Martha Dumpstock

My best friend since diapers

Are we on for movie night?

Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

I rented The Princess Bride

Hohoho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized right now?

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

Martha Dumptruck! Wide load!

Kurt Kelly, quarterback, he is the smartest guy on the football team

Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf

Hey! Pick that up right now!

I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

Yes, I am, I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend?

You're a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant

You got a zit right there

Dear Diary

(Why~)

Why do they hate me?

Why don't I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

(Why~)

Why won't he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?

(Why~!)

Students

Somebody hug me!

Somebody fix me!

Somebody save me!

Send me a sign, God!

Give me some hope here!

Something to live for!

Ah! Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And then there's the Heathers, they float above it all

I love Heather, Heather, and Heather

Heather McNamara, head cheerleader, her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings

I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather!

Heather Duke, runs the yearbook, no discernible personality

But her mom did pay for implants

I want Heather, Heather, and Heather!

And Heather Chandler, the almighty

She is a mythic bitch

They are solid Teflon

Never bothered, never harassed

I would give anything to be like that

I'd like to be their boyfriend

That would be beautiful

If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

So beautiful

I'd like them to be nicer

That would be beautiful

I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse

And leave her tied up for the rats!

Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so '87

Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather

Yeah, Heather, maybe I should

Ah, Heather and Heather and Heather

Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting

You're late for class

Heather wasn't feeling well, we're helping her

Not without a hall pass you're not. Week's detention

Actually, Miss Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass

Yearbook committee

I see you're all listed

Hurry up and get where you're going

This is an excellent forgery

Who are you?

Veronica Sawyer

I crave a boon

What boon?

Hm, let me sit at your table at lunch

Just once

No talking necessary

If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone

Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes

How about prescriptions?

Shut up, Heather

Sorry, Heather

For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

And a symmetrical face

If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull I'd have matching halves

That's very important

Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

And you know, you know, you know?

This could be beautiful

Mascara, maybe some lip gloss

And we're on our way

Get this girl some blush

And Heather, I need your brush

Let's make her beautiful

Make her beautiful

Okay?

Okay!

Out of my way geek!

I don't want trouble

You're gonna die at 3PM!

Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

What'd I ever do to them?

Who could survive this?

I can't escape this!

I think I'm dying!

Who's that with Heather?

Whoa. Heather, Heather, Heather

And someone!

Heather, Heather, Heather

And a babe!

Heather, Heather, Heather

Veronica?!

Veronica, Veronica, Veronica

And you know

You know, you know

Life can be beautiful

You hope, you dream, you pray

And you get your way!

Ask me how it feels

Looking like hell on wheels

My God, it's beautiful!

I might be beautiful

And when you're beautiful

It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!

Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!

#heathers the musical

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