#i've never had to block so many people in that community before

[ara-line]

Stop glorifying the suicide of that US airman.

He grew up in a cult and never really left behind the mindset of that cult, even if his beliefs on the political spectrum shifted. According to a former member of the cult, it was common for members to leave and end up in the military. She described it as "going from one high control group to another" in the WaPo article linked.

In short, he never got help that he clearly needed. And from what I've heard about the military, his time in it may have worsened whatever issues he already had.

His suicide is a bigger reflection of this very strange pattern on the left to glorify self harm since others are suffering. It's one thing to see children in a playground and think about how there are children in refugee camps who don't get to enjoy those freedoms. This is another thing. Bushnell, unlike many other cases of self-immolation (ie the self immolation of Mohamed Bouazizi, the man whose death kickstarted the Arab Spring) was not directly affected by the bombings in Gaza. Yet he chose an extreme route that even those affected by the situation, whether through being related to the Israeli hostages or through having family in Gaza, would not go to. This is a reflection of a larger trend on this website of self punishment and forcing every last gory detail of horrific events on yourself because of a) this feeling of powerlessness over not being able to do much about the situation and b) wanting to show how much of a good leftist you are because you will subject yourself to horrific violence to show how much you care. In reality, it is mental self-destruction. I've seen this behaviour in true crime communities as well.

I think a lot of the leftists on this site grew up in conservative environments where it's all or nothing right wing extremism. Thus, much like Bushnell, their political beliefs have shifted, but not their mindset. That's why so many people on this site are glorifying his suicide.

The reason newspaper headlines aren't mentioning his name is because we already know many school shooters do what they do for infamy. Therefore, by not mentioning their names, the media wants to avoid copycats. It's the same line of thinking here. It's got nothing to do with Zionism, according to some people who probably had no idea what that is before Oct 7 and not now, controlling the media. No, Zionists do not control the news cycle. You're perpetuating antisemitism when you say that.

Inevitably, since people on this site have piss on the poor reading comprehension, I expect this post to go over well. If you're going to tell me to kill myself, just know that you will be blocked and reported. Any dialogue ended the moment you decided that was acceptable.

[giddyfatherchris]

📱skz texts —how they react/comfort you (when you're going through a rough patch with a friend)

| including. bang chan, lee know

warnings. mentions of homophobia, anxiety and depression (but not going in depth with any of these subjects)

a/n. FINALLY!! channie and lee know’s part babyyyy honestly i kept procrastinating but today i decided enough is enough.😤 again, these are not in order but i cannot be 🎶booOoOoOthereeeddd🎶 so :) hope you enjoy mwah xxx

changbin, seungmin & i.n

hyunjin, han & felix

Lee Know

He knew from your texts you were not in your normal state. You were usually such a bubbly person, but when you answered so drily to his questions, he knew something was wrong.

As he waited for you to come home, he couldn't help but pace in his apartment. You weren't living together yet, but you spent so much time at his flat that you claimed it as your second home comfortably. In the 15 minutes it took for you to arrive, Lee Know had prepared himself for many scenarios, but he could have never predicted how you opened harshly the door and slammed it shut. Your ritual of crouching on the floor, calling for his three cats, was brutally ignored as you stomped to the kitchen.

"Hi, baby." He tentatively tried. Cautious, he kept his distance as you grunted in answer. You opened the fridge door, looked for a milli second before you closed it, then repeated the same process with the pantry. You made yourself a glass of water, didn't even take a sip, and grumbled as you looked in front of you, not really seeing anything. You abandoned it on the counter, ready to stomp away, when Lee Know put himself in your trajectory.

"What's going on?"

You would have kept walking if he hadn't grabbed you by the shoulders and blocked you from carrying on.

"Uh?" you looked at him as if you were just now seeing him. "Nothing, something at work, it's enraging." 

"Then please tell me so I can know who to kill," he replied in an equally angered tone. His hold on your shoulders tightened slightly at the thought someone had hurt you. 

You looked at him, surprised. "What, kill someone?" 

"Please, Y/n. I've never seen you like this. I don't know what happened, but for it to put you in that state, I'm guessing it's pretty serious." 

He had to pull it out of you, but you finally explained how you discovered one of your coworkers, who you considered a friend, was, in fact, a raging homophobic, queer-hating asshole. When you first heard him comment on someone else wearing a rainbow pin, you had laughed it off, thinking he was being dumb, but he kept adding on, and you realized, horrified, that he was being serious. 

Cherry on top, when you told him you were pansexual, he had stared at you with this idiotic air and asked if you were attracted to kitchen appliances. It ended up with you terminating that 'friendship' and leaving the office completely enraged. 

Your boyfriend listened carefully to your story. His piercing eyes set on you when he finally stated, "I have no idea how you managed not to smack him in the face." 

You let out a dry chuckle, telling the story again only egged you on, and brought up a familiar gloom you hadn't felt in a while. Immediately, he noticed the change in your demeanor, how the burning rage had simmered to a profound sadness. "Hey, it's okay, you can report the bastard, you know. He can't go around saying stuff like that."

You wrapped your arms around your middle, your lower lip softly shaking as you exhaled. "It's been a long time since I've been directly in contact with someone like that. I'm mad at myself for not seeing it maybe others knew, and they considered me badly for hanging out with him. I feel so bad."

He pulled you to him, softly resting his chin on top of your head. "Some people are really good at hiding who they truly are. He never said anything before, you never could have known."

"I know, but I somewhat feel like a traitor to my community," you covered your face with your hands before hiding in his chest. "Is that dumb?"  

He softly pushed you back and leveled his gaze with yours. "That is a little dumb because you did not betray your community, okay? You can't betray someone if you've also been fooled. And you know what's the best thing to do now? Report his ass. I'm sure if you do, there will be others who feel comfortable speaking up."

Your eyes lit up at his suggestion. "You're right. I want queer people to feel safe at work. The thought that I might have been seen as someone who would threaten that makes me sick. But if I speak up, that could change. Maybe we could even create a committee to do sensibilization about homophobia in the workplace." The gloom in your eyes was replaced with a fire. "One thing is sure, I won't let it happen again.

He gave you an adorable grin as he softly grabbed your chin. "My little fighter, I'm proud of you."

Your eyes disappeared into a happy smile as you hugged him again. "Thank you for always supporting me, although I am slightly scared of how little it took to convince you to kill someone." 

He laughed before grabbing you over his shoulder and whispered with a diabolical expression. "You shouldn't." 

Because really, there shouldn't be a doubt in your mind that this man was ready to make anyone who hurt you pay a terrible price. 

Bang Chan

The leader rubbed his hands on his face in an attempt to wipe away all the exhaustion. He looked back at his computer screen, feeling a violent cramp in his head causing his eyes to squeeze shut of their own accords. 

"Okay, okay. I get it. No more computer today."

He grabbed his phone before getting up, pleading his eyes to survive one last exposure to the light of a screen. He clicked on your name and quickly typed in, asking you what you wanted to eat for dinner but all signs of fatigue disappeared once he saw your answer. Worry replaced any feelings in his heart, his tired eyes fixed on the device.

What could have happened for you to be so down? He knew you were dealing with a difficult friend lately, but could it have gotten this bad so quickly? He wondered if he should push it, ask you more, but as his eyes started burning again he realized it would probably be of no help and he should wait for you to get home. Chan looked around the apartment, an uneasy feeling in his chest, a restlessness agitating his limbs. You were hurting and he couldn’t stay still, waiting for you to arrive. Then it clicked, he looked at your messages once again, closed the app and started dialing a number he was starting to know very well. As the line rang, a smirk slowly took place on his full lips.

You tiredly entered your apartment, welcomed with a delicious aroma. You kicked your boots off, more than ready to change into comfortable clothes and hug your boyfriend. 

Your heart melted at the sight waiting for you in the kitchen. Chan, his sleeve rolled up, showing his strong forearms, was very focused on the pots and pans burbling in front of him. He softly hummed to the soft jazz music playing in the background, completely oblivious to the world around him. You silently walked to him and wrapped your arms around his middle, loving how his strong back felt on your cheek through his clothes. 

"Jesus! You scared me," he whined, still, you could hear the smile in his voice as his hands wrapped around yours. "How are you?"

You didn't answer, feeling tears prickling your eyes and that burning sensation in your nose when you knew you were about to cry. You buried your face in his clothes, hoping it would muffle the sound of your sobs. 

"Y/n?" he quickly turned around, realizing you were far from okay. "Hey, baby what's going on?"

Violent sobs shook your body as you slid to the floor engulfed in Chan’s reassuring embrace, allowing you to let it all go. Once you calmed down enough to take a big breath, he asked again. "Baby, what happened?" 

Softly, he brushed his fingers through your hair. He was a calm and reassuring presence for you in all the chaos. You knew you could trust him, knew you could tell him anything and he would be there for you.

"You know my ´friend’, our relationship was already rocky, I knew that, but I thought it was getting better. When we studied together the other day, we talked so much, about anything and everything and even personal stuff. I thought we were getting over that petty argument, but today I heard them tell other people from my classes how I was faking my anxiety disorder and depression symptoms. They said I only did it to get attention and that I- I was an addict." Your voice broke on the last word, horrified that such words could have come out of their mouth.

Chan had to fight everything in him not to go after them right now. If there was one thing he despised it was when the ones he loved were hurt. He couldn't bear it. He knew how hard it had been for you to get a diagnosis and start taking medication. How could someone be heartless enough to make such comments? 

"I heard some of the people in the group defend me, but still... I can't believe it. I'm so stupid, I never should have told them about it."

"Y/n. You are not stupid. They are the assholes. You are not stupid for trusting someone you thought was a friend okay? I don't ever want you to think you are stupid for that."

You looked at him with teary eyes. He felt himself melt and soften, all anger disappearing when he realized how badly you needed him. "You are not stupid. You are not faking anything." he softly stroked your cheeks, wiping away the tears as he did. "I'm so proud of you for reaching out for help. I'm proud of you every damn day, and you know the people who really love you do too." You closed your eyes, relishing in his warm touch, allowing his soft voice to erase every doubt and fear. He softly kissed your forehead, "Okay?"

"Okay," you whispered. "Thank you I don't know what I would do without you."

"You would still do amazing because you are one of the strongest person I've ever met."

You chuckled at his comment. "You're so cheesy. Still, I'm pretty happy to have you." You lifted your head towards the stove. "Especially if you tell me you've been cooking for me." You took a deep breath in, finally registering what it was you were smelling. You looked back at him, already smiling, a look of surprise on your face. "Is- is that my mom’s… How, how did you do it?"

A proud and satisfied expression was printed on his features. "You wanted your mom’s spaghetti so I called and asked her to help me make it. Turns out the recipe isn’t that hard." He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear while you stared at him like he was the most magnificent thing you had ever seen, which he was.

"I can’t believe you did that. My mother has never told anyone her recipe!"

"Yeah, about that. I might have had to make a deal with her to get it…" You rolled your eyes, ready to hear some embarrassing stunt your mother pulled on your boyfriend. "I had to explain why I wanted the recipe, and she might have made me promise we’d go visit your family in two weeks while you’re on spring break."

You squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck, asking him a thousand time if he was kidding, if this was really happening, while he promised over and over again it was. You pulled back to look at the satisfied smile growing on his lips. Chan was a sure value in your life, maybe the only true one, and as you looked at him, his dimpled smile and the satisfaction he had in preparing all this for you, you knew this was it. He was everything you would ever need.

[embers-of-the-oldest-lore]

@photomatt So I've noticed that you and the tumblr moderation team at large seem to view trans women as inherently sexual and in violation of the sites community guidelines by virtue of existing and before you start crawling through my side blogs and find That I do in fact have some content that is not tagged as well as it should be to remain in line with the strictest interpretation of the community guidelines on my sideblog, please know that I understand this and have come to terms with the fact that making this post will result in you taking advantage of this and removing my side blog and likely my primary blog as well.

However before you do this, I want to make sure that you have a full understanding of what you will be removing and in a grander sense what you have destroyed either through negligence or intentional malice by unfairly moderating Trans women on this website and allowing their harassers to thrive.

The girl in this picture was young and scared and trying so hard to be the man that she was supposed to be even though It meant pushing down a part of herself that was more real than anything she had ever actually lived before.

But then she found tumblr and was exposed to experiences like hers and people like her and was able to slowly become herself for the first time in her life. She had a joy and peace on this website that she would never be able to find in her real life.

It took time but eventually that joy and peace and freedom and exposure to so many other scared girls like her gave her the ability to finally admit she didn't have to or want to be the man that her family expected her to be. This is the last picture of her before she finally stopped giving up.

And it didn't happen all at once

There were problems, and stumbling blocks

But she had this site to come back to and find community and joy and she finally had herself

And now she's free and happy and full of so much joy.

She is so full of Love, and happiness, joy, and compassion for herself and the people around her

She lived and thrived and still finds so much joy in this community that saved her life.

I have found love, and kindness, and partners and friends on this hellsite. Most importantly I found a community. One that you would see destroyed. I know you don't actually care about any of this. You don't care about the unfair moderation on this site. You don't care about the trans women that are desperate for community. I don't think this is going to change your mind either. If I exist to you at all, it's only as a nuisance. You're just going to find some excuse to wipe my entire existence on this site that I have called home for twelve years away.

But i'm not really doing this for you.

I'm doing this because I hope that before you have the chance to wipe every trace of my exsistence from this website that some other girl that is just as scared as I was when I joined this community is able to see that there is hope, that things do in fact get better and that we can thrive and find family and a community. Part of me hopes desperately that Tumblr can continue to be a place for scared girls like I was and an even smaller part of me believes that this might find some place in your heart and take hold. But even if it doesn't, we will always find community. We will always find a place where we can become ourselves and find love and happiness and safety with people like us.

And to that scared girl

It gets better

I promise

: Your sister

[zerosuitsammi3]

If I can take a moment to share my experience as a trans woman on the internet

My experience is by no means unique, it's just one experience in the plethora of trans feminine experiences and not unique to only tumblr. Though, I'll mostly talk about what I've experienced here. In the light of recent events, the reaction of "the ceo," and the comments he contributed regarding dog pile harassment; I simply wish to share my experiences that I have had to juxtapose the dynamic of his statements against a lived experience.

This account started as a way to document my social transition and eventually my journey with HRT. Tumblr had always had a large lgbtqia+ community. The queer people here inspired me and gave me hope. What I didn't know, but soon learned, is that there were people here who hated me for being trans. Being early in my transition I was a prime target. TERF groups would plan raids on my account. What this entailed was: rebloging my selfies into circles that would say the most vile things about me, threaten to kill, tell me I was ugly, tell me that everyone I knew thought I was a joke, I was a monster, my family hated me, that I should kill myself, they'd download and edit my photos into caricatures or depictions of violence. They would fill my ask box with hundreds of asks detailing how they'd kill me, call me slurs, describe the ways that I should kill myself, and pretty much everything else I mentioned above with the reblogs. Their words were carefully curated to try and break me, break my spirit, break my will to live. I tried reporting it. But it was impossible to keep up with, and like many others I saw no real response. Eventually I learned that I had to block all of them. 100's of blogs, eventually 1000's of blogs. My block list these days is incredibly extensive. I had to wade through their blogs, traverse sickening hate speech and imagery to eliminate entire circles of people harassing me. I became jaded to the hate speech, hardened to it. But mind you, I shouldn't have had to expose myself to all of this just to be at peace here amongst my community. I received no help, I was left to my own devices to protect myself. The people who hurt me never saw consequences. It was painful, it was unfair, and no one else should have to put the hours upon hours of effort and exposure to hate in to protect themselves like I did. But again my experience is not unique.

I have had to repeat this process of preemptive blocking periodically once a new circle discovers me. Blocking them all before they can start the process of hate all over again. A process of hate that seems to be hitting my community with rapidly increasing fervor as of late.

I've seen others experience far worse than me. The TERF circles will hunt down their personal information and doxx them. Expose their home address, telephone numbers, names of their family members. I can't begin to imagine the terror my queer siblings must feel when someone tells then that they want to murder them all while showing them that they know where you live. This is not a new thing, not a rare tactic, it happens. And we've all seen the news stories of trans people being murdered by people who planned it and were vocal about it.

I know this is depressing. And it doesn't reflect all of my experiences. I've had wonderful experiences here, met amazing people, made close friends, found inspiration, found hope. I found a community.

And it's my community, and I never want to let it go.

I do have fear that making this statement will get me banned. But, I wanted to say it. I wanted it to exist in the world so that everyone who doesn't know our experiences has a chance to understand and with luck empathize.

I'll part on these words and hope for the best both for myself and for every member of the community.

[nomlioart]

I'm sorry...

Hi... I wasn't active because I was healing from everything that happened to me and I was trying to stay safe. I still am. I only come for a short while now, because before I was scared to say anything even though I really wanted to.

Some of you may have heard of the drama with MatchaBunns from twitter, some may not. I don't want to go into great detail about what happened since I don't want to go back to it, I want to forget about it and never go back to it. In short, the previously mentioned person was accused of grooming. And I, naive and thoughtless, defended them, being tricked and manipulated by them, which made me think that there was no grooming. I was trying to defend my no longer friend. Now just thinking about how I didn't realize what grooming really was makes me nauseous. I wanted to help them because I thought that what they were saying was credible, I wanted to trust them. It turned out, however, that I had been defending the wrong person all this time. I feel sick and disgusting of it. They just made my trust issues grow stronger so much. If some friends hadn't reached out to me and convinced me that these actions were seriously wrong, I would have never realized it and been living a lie all the time, convincing myself that the lie was truth.

I want to seriously apologize with all my heart for everything I said, for all my lies, for all the stupid things I did, for just being in touch with Matcha. I don't wanna be like this. I never wanted to be like this. I just wanted to make friends, I always had problems making friends because of my fear and back then I finally felt wanted and appreciated. I just wanted to help, but it only led to a bigger disaster. I'm scared of Matcha. And most of all I seriously wanted to apologize to the victim of all this, who I will leave anonymous. If you're seeing this, you didn't deserve any of this. I don't expect any forgiveness, but I want you to know, all of you, that I seriously mean it, I want you to believe me that I'm really.. really sorry, for all the harm I've done helping them. I am no longer associated with Matcha since April and I made sure I blocked them on all social media I am on. In fact, I myself wanted to break off contact with Matcha since February because I was starting to feel uncomfortable in their company, but I didn't do it because I thought others would turn away from me, thinking that it would be a bad decision. Now I think I could've done it much earlier. Since then I'm not and won't be involved in any dramas anymore and I'll be less active in communities. These last few months it was really tragic for me because of this situation, I had panic attacks many times, I cried every day non-stop, I had four attempts... So far I am getting help, trying not to go back to it and be a better person. I really wanna change, I don't want to be in contact with people who may have a bad influence on me anymore. I'm still young, stupid, naive.. But I still have brains, I should be better than this.

I still have no idea if I'll ever come back here, it may be that I will come back but it may also be that I won't come back at all. My main goal was to say sorry for everything...

However, I am certain of my decision to never return to Twitter, it was a comfort place for me but after a while I realized that it's horrendous. Most of the people there are toxic heartless beings who hurt others.

I will understand if most people don't want to know me now, I don't blame them, quite the opposite, but those who still want to stay, thank you. Thank you so much. You are all important to me, at first I posted and did my art mainly for myself, but seeing how many people support me and love seeing my work, it only lifted my spirits and I did it for you too. I never felt like I would go this far... It was all thanks to you. I love you. And thank you for reading.

nomlio

[todoroki-waifu]

Can i request a story about the reader being in another school that is a rival of easton even though reader and rayne are a couple? Thanks💞 (im sorry if this is a weird idea i just thought it up in my head😅)

Note: Thank you for this! And it's not weird at all! It was a cute idea. Not sure how I feel about how I wrote this, but I hope you still like it. Also, Luke is a random character I made up.

Rayne x Reader

Warning: Female reader, cursing, and a guy hitting on/bothering the reader to be his.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:828

------

Your excitement was increasing with every step as you approached Easton Academy. Your dorm mate is beside you, talking about today's event. There was a duelo match at Easton and your school was playing against them. Schoolwork had kept you and Rayne from physically seeing each other, but you still found ways to communicate. 

You and Rayne have been together for a little over a year now, but only a select few knew this. You both weren't ashamed of your relationship, but you agreed it was best to not announce it so loudly. You couldn't deal with people digging deep into your personal business and you knew it'd only fuel rumors and gossip since your boyfriend was from Easton. Despite your schools having history with each other, it didn't stop the two of you from falling for each other. 

"I have a feeling the match is gonna go into overtime." You hear your roommate as you search for your boyfriend. You planned on sitting beside each other to watch the game. 

"Yeah? You think?"

"I'm pretty sure! Both teams are at the top this season." 

"You're not wrong there." It didn't matter to you who won, you were more focused on being able to hug Rayne again. A voice shouts your name and your eyes target its source. You groan at the approaching male with his friends not too far behind, your roommate cursing at his presence. 

"Hey there, ___(y/n)! You ready to cheer me on?"

"Hey, Luke..." You forced out a polite smile. 

"We gotta go and grab some seats. Bye!" __(r/n) links her arm with yours, attempting to pull you away from Luke and his team. 

"Oh c'mon, stop cockblocking. I wanna talk to my girlfriend." Luke interferes with your escape route. 

"Don't call me that. I already told you that I have a boyfriend." You glare, your patience thinning rapidly the more you are around the duelo captain. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just playing hard to get." He slips between you and __(r/n), draping his arm over your shoulders. You immediately create distance between the two of you, your eyebrows knitting together. 

"No, I'm not. Just like how I've told you many, many times before, I'm happily taken."

"That's just a lie." Luke steps closer to you once again. "You're always saying that."

"And I'm going to keep saying it." You were praying that someone would just date this idiot so he'd finally leave you alone. But all the other girls knew better. 

"It's just that I've never seen or heard about him before." You feel your hand being taken in his and lures you close to his body. "If you really have a boyfriend, then where is he?"

"Right here." Fingers grip tightly on Luke's wrist, granting you freedom. You automatically knew who it was because only one voice made your heart jump. You whisper his name, your blonde and black haired boyfriend now blocking Luke's view from you. Scum like him didn't deserve to lay eyes on his girlfriend. 

"Hey man, let go!" Luke's shout attracts a large audience from both academies. “Who the hell are you?” 

"I’m ___(y/n)’s boyfriend.” 

“What? Yeah right! I’ve never seen you two together!”

“It is none of your concern whether you have seen us together or not. If she has told you that she was already dating someone, you should have ceased your annoying advances from the beginning.” 

It was almost as if Ranye’s golden orbs were eerily glowing the longer he held his gaze at the duelo captain. 

“Che, whatever! I ain't wasting any more time with you. I got a match to win.” Luke pulls his hand back, trying to rub the pain away without seeming affected by the Sword Cane’s strength. Rayne ignores his comment, for now, and tends to you immediately.

"Are you alright?" He inspects for any physical injuries and distress in your eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." Rayne gently rests his hand on your cheek, rubbing the soft skin under his thumb. You smile into his touch, leaning into it. His lips slightly tug downard at the thought of you having gone through that boy's pestering for quite some time. Rayne heard you complain about your multiple rejections. He couldn't blame you since you respected the promise you both made in regards to hiding each other's identity. Also, knowing you, you didn't want to worry the magic blade user. 

Well, he couldn't allow that to continue. He breathes out your name, his other hand claiming your free cheek. 

"I think it's time to let everyone know our little secret." Rayne lays his lips over yours delicately, ignoring the various noises from the onlookers. You couldn't help but melt into his kiss, pressing yourself a bit closer to him. It felt so liberating and exciting now that you both can show each other off. He wanted it to be clear who exactly your mystery boyfriend was. 

[sailor-aviator]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

[candy-red-river]

WARNING!! ATTENTION TO ALL RANFREN FANS.

RECENTLY THERE HAVE BEEN 3 INDIVIDUALS IN THE COMMUNITY THAT HAVE BEEN CAUSING SEVERE DISTRESS TO THOSE AROUND THEM. WHEN YOU SEE THESE INDIVIDUALS BLOCK, REPORT, OR AVOID THEM.

I REPEAT DO NOT GO AFTER THEM OR HARASS THEM FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE INVOLVED.

BELOW ARE SEVERAL COPIED TESTIMONIALS FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE WHO USED TO INTERACT WITH THESE THREE PROVIDED WITH SCREENSHOTS.

THE DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS AND DIFFERENT PEOPLE WILL BE REFERRED TO AS DIFFERENT COLORS FOR THEIR OWN SAKE. TAKE THIS AS YOU WILL.

🚨🚨 IMPORTANT ALARM 🚨🚨

ATTENTION, RANFREN COMMUNITY ON TUMBLR! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THESE IMPORTANT ALERTS ABOUT INDIVIDUALS TO AVOID:

KITTYGIRLCARPET (carpetkittie) RATMISCHEFINPROCESS SEBASTIANTHEHUMAN.

FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR COMMUNITY, PLEASE BE VIGILANT AND TAKE CARE IN WHO YOU INTERACT WITH ONLINE. STAY SAFE AND PROTECT YOURSELVES! ⚠️📢

I will add the reasons why in the following…

First and foremost, I want you to be aware that several individuals have been persistently targeting me for absolutely ridiculous reasons!!!! Despite not doing anything to provoke them, they've been quite unkind and even extend their hostility to others within the fandom. This is why I've been noticeably inactive lately, as a result of their relentless attacks!!!

Starting off with Sebastian, during our former friendship he would often purposeful endanger himself even when his friends would tell him not to. For hours. He'd say he wouldn't do it but would go claim to do that thing anyway. He would also talk heavily sexually when I and him were with other friends despite being 14 (he told me and someone else he was 15) his made me, as an older teen and new adult, VERY uncomfortable. I tried to ignore it and laugh it off.

He would repeatedly lie to us about everything, and played coy whenever we were suspicious. Recently he admitted to harrassing us in private via tumblrs anonymous asks. After we realised what he'd done he had threatened suicide on his instagram, and would immediately go back to using discord the next day.

Sebastian has been spreading lies abt his ex under the age of 13, while he is 14, calling them a groomer and such, a manipulator, spreading their personal vents/rants without permission, etc. Those were all lies, his ex was doing nothing he said. Even when his ex’s status on disc had nothing to do with love or relationships, Sebastian would change his status to pretend he had a boyfriend, to quote on quote, ‘make them jealous’. Sebastian has been obsessing over (censored), going as far to harass his friends, carve his name into his chest and show him, lie abt his age to get closer, then play the victim once confronted. Randal would give Sebastian compliments, which Sebastian would take way out of context, often making lewd and inappropriate comments in response unprompted. He exaggerates Randal’s words, making it seem that they were genuinely flirting or in love. While joking flirting was not unheard of, they were not genuine feelings. Randal had stated several times that he had no romantic/sexual/etc feelings towards Sebastian in any way. When Randal confronted Sebastian, mainly his only responses were “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, no apology, nothing, just feigning innocence. Along with those two things, Sebastian has been sharing his friends personal info, as well as publicly suicide baiting on Instagram stories. He has been saying multiple times that he has “been shoved into a hospital” and/or “actually killing himself tonight”. A final thing he did quite often was make many comments about how “Incel’s are hot” or that he was purposefully going to get groomed, most definitely for sympathy and attention. Also for attention, he would act overly sexual, making random sexual comments unprompted. He is a manipulative liar, he never defends himself, because he can't.

Before reading this, please know I have really bad memory, so I might have skipped over or watered down things Sebastian did, so please bare with me,

Back when I was 12, Sebastian had groomed me for months when him and I dated (and he now refuses it despite me having proof), he also was racist and tries to defend himself over it by saying "it was a dream" which doesnt make things any better. He also frequently spoke about sexual topics and even sent me a list of things he was into despite me telling him I didn't like talking about that stuff considering my age, also considering the fact I was recovering from something disgusting my stepdad did to me a few days prior, which I told him about. He also had shared stuff about my personal life (my hypersexuality, intrusive thoughts, vents, and probably more things I'm not aware of.)

When I broke up with him for the first time because our age gap made me slightly uncomfortable considering I wasn't considered a teen, also because he made me feel like shit and he was already a horrible person for things he did that I explaiend above. Afterwards he made hints that he would be killing himself, he also obsessed HEAVILY over me and manipulated me until we dated again. This time, he treated me as if I was some sort of secret which made me feel horrible because he KNEW our relationship would be heavily frowned upon for two reasons, one being that hes 14, i was 12. and two, people hated his guts and i promised those people I wouldn't go back to him.

He did a lot of things on calls that I can't provide proof for because I'm 99% sure he was taking precautions just in case I left him again. I WILL be mentioning it but they'll just be considered allegations as I can't provide proper proof. We broke up a final time after a month because he kept ignoring me for hours and made me feel like shit because he met new people and I suddenly became irrelevant.

He also liked to make fun of my overuse on painkillers, and constantly called me a "druggie" which only made things worse on my end. He also never shut up about me claiming I ruined his life, I manipulated him, and he was the victim despite me getting groomed by him.

He made me isolate myself from all my friends (irl and online) so he could be the only one in my life, he did this subtly by saying "I don't like your friends blah blah blah" and gaslighted me into believing I hate them. He also liked to flaunt what he did to me because he got away with it, he also admitted he didnt feel sorry for a single thing he did to me. For whatever reason he also faked having a boyfriend to try and make me jealous (which never worked.)

I'm sure theres a lot more things he did, but I'm having a hard time remembering

I have things about Sebastian and it’s just him sending me a mean anonymous question + him telling me about how Randal thinks that he’s the one sending mean anonymous questions so I can write a message about that ? But I��d also like to stay anonymous because I don’t want to be associated with that,, ( ;´ - `;)

The next person to be spoken of is kitty carpet.

The person who kins kitty carpet has been an on and off bother for me and my friends for months now. She would occasionally come up again to insinuate drama, going after my friend and people adjacent to him online. She has also been dating and interacting with people way too young for those such as cherrycon. She gets angry at proshippers but is a self proclaimed "necrophile", who loves talking about how writing dark content is ok while being against it making her morals unclear.

Kitty has a contentious reputation. She inserted herself into a drama not involving her aggressively harassed someone for no reason, causing them to delete their Tumblr account. She's dated a younger person, age 14 while being 17, and spreads malicious rumors about those who reject her advances. Not only did she label a 13 year old as her “master,” but she also resorted to misogynistic name calling a friend of mine.

My experience with Kitty is pretty limited because when I was active in the Ranfren fandom she had me blocked. Not exactly sure why since I had never interacted with her once. Her ex-boyfriend (I forgot his name but his URL was 'Rabiesivory' I think at the time) and I were mutuals. When he had first followed me, I had "MINORS DNI" in both my bio and pinned post. Since he followed me and was reblogging content marked with the "18+ content filter" I had assumed he was of age (he probably lied about his age while registering so he could have access to 18+ posts). I later found out that he was a minor (14 years old), and I ended up blocking him due to this. I was unaware that he was a child because he was not forthcoming with his age. Later on, someone had informed me that Kitty had just turned 17/18 (I forget which one it was but IIRC she is actually 18 IRL) and was still dating this 14 year old boy. My main issue with Kitty is that she is a massive hypocrite and tries to constantly manufacture drama. She has accused me of things I did not do, and has tried to send her friends and followers to harass me. She also is a self-identified necrophile, and has posted about supporting illegal/immoral paraphilias & being a proshipper while simultaneously saying she "hates proshippers" and "doesn't want them to interact with [her]". She has also repeatedly made romantic advances towards non-consenting people. Kitty is a very dangerous person in the fandom, mostly because of her hypocritical nature & her insatiable thirst for drama. I would recommend avoiding her and people she associates with, because from my own experiences she will try to start drama with anyone and everyone over small, irrelevant things. She is also not above lying about things to make others look bad. I especially want to warn any minors in the fandom of her behavior since she is a known groomer and potential abuser.

This section was short, however most of the people above have the same problem with her.

Final one is Michael, this is the shortest section as most people don't know him very well.

My experience with Michael

Michael who was once a friend of my friend or is still a friend, I’m not sure…consistently harassed me and spoke poorly about me. He repeatedly called me a derogatory term because I wasn't online for a day. Even after my friend forgave me he refused to move past the situation, even though it wasn't a serious issue. He has connections with a lot of problematic individuals involved in the entire situation.

Well for starters He seems to enjoy mentioning how my parents like him better than me a lot, for no reason either, its something he likes to brag about a lot which has always annoyed me. In his pinned post where it says he has untreated bpd is a lie, he’s never gotten a diagnosis with bpd, he also shares things that no one needs to know, for example he’s stomped out a little toad before and wouldnt stop talking about it for a week like if it was the best thing he’s ever done.

Warning for transphobia below.

Green has informed me that minors can not be diagnosed with bpd due to puberty and hormonal changes.

I tried to get all of the relevant screenshots down, to avoid stress and harassment I will not be responding to any questions (maybe).

Please do not harass or go after anyone meantioned. Block and report.

[sophieinwonderland]

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

[jewish-vents]

(Post this anonymously, please!!)

I am an artist with an 8k+ follower blog which I have been active on for over 12 years. I've always felt safe here and have considered it my internet home. After October, watching the amount of people in my fandoms and artists who I had admired and found community with who immediately went full-in on a very black and white, aggressively conspiratorial and antisemitic brand of pro-Palestine activism, my idea of community here and my place in it was totally shaken. It was like I had put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the latent radicalization that had been going on around me, and the pervasive antisemitism that exists, unacknowledged, in nominally pro-social justice leftist spaces.

The loneliest part is that it feels like, with few exceptions, only other Jews can see it. Even the gentile friends who i love most and who would unquestionably stand up for me are just not attuned to the dogwhistles enough to see 95% of it. It's like living in a bubble reality, unable to take these glasses off, while everyone else goes on as if everything is the same.

Yesterday, I logged in, and saw image attached from a gentile artist i'd followed for months, who had never before given me a reason to feel unsafe. Their tags read "don't come in my inbox to debate this, i have no interest and will not change my mind." I wanted to cry from frustration- this person likely has no understanding of how revoltingly antisemitic this post was because they have no understanding of the complexity of what "zionism" actually means, and, as they've made clear, they have no interest in learning or being told they're mistaken. There are so few of us (Jews) here- how the hell are we ever supposed to combat this? The worst part was that it had 98 likes, and zero replies suggesting that any of them saw a problem with this or disagreed.

I myself never really understood zionism before this- I am ashamed to say that I took a lot of the twisted definitions held by gentiles in my progressive social media spaces without question, and thought that because I believed in Palestinian self-determination, I must be an anti-zionist by definition. It took the "glasses" coming on in the time since October for me to fully learn and to understand that while the nuances of the term go deep, to the majority of my people, basic "zionism" means belief in Jewish-self determination in Eretz Yisrael, and that when many gentiles say "Zionist," they just mean "bad Jew."

In all of this mess there's one thing i'm grateful for, and it's that, even as i've lost community in unfollowing/blocking previous mutuals and acquaintances who've shown their incuriosity and prejudice, this shakeup has driven me to find community with other Jews on this site and a greater curiosity about and sense of belonging in my culture in the real world. I can't be mad that my eyes are open, because i've only lost community that wouldn't accept me as I am, and am gaining community that does, that shares my struggles and that sees the world in ways compatible with my values. When I look at my activity tab and see notifications from my mutuals now, I feel safe knowing that I have been honest, shared the truth of me, and that they have chosen to stick around, whoever they are. I love you all.

[rubus-yunnion]

Beware of this person!

I do not like making callout posts, I never made one before, but right now I feel that this is a serious issue and I feel the need to address it.

This person named Star had been using me and my friends since the beginning of 2024, she's used one of my best friends for clout and pretend to care about others feelings and interests, she would always lie and make things up, completely ignoring the fact that she knew these things made people very uncomfortable. She would always talk behind peoples back to me, as if I was nothing but her venting machine. The only thing she cares about is her follower count.

Please, whatever you do, please BLOCK HER. She's nothing but a snake, and I fear that she will get to other peoples mind and mentally scar them. She's the reason why I even left the fnaf community, I felt betrayed, heartbroken and depressed for weeks. But I've grown, and I just don't want people to fall for her tricks. Me and so many others are victims to her games and i, being the main fucking victim here, advise everyone who sees this to just ignore her and block her.

That is all, thank you all for listening.

[donnerpartyofone]

Recent Incidents of Inappropriate IRL-Internet Intermingling:

On Instagram I posted (only half-jokingly) that LONGLEGS is just like that grade-Z Tiny Tim movie BLOOD HARVEST, and somebody with a username that's just a random-looking character string replied that they HATE ME for it. I was thinking wtf you HATE ME? That seems a little extreme from a total stranger. And then I looked and realized it's my husband's #1 most misogynistic friend who has always been visibly uncomfortable with me because I'm a girl who is also a nerd and I have had professional nerd jobs and I know more about some stuff than he does. (He wasn't trying to hide his identity, I just didn't instantly realize it was him) Now he has started regularly leaving comments that he probably thinks count as friendly, but it's always some insult about how I'm doing something wrong, or I went to a bar before the weekend, or just anything that could be an insult that I can't respond to without seeming oversensitive. I just ignore them all, which I'm sure annoys him.

LinkedIn told me that an ex-friend who I had a really bad falling out with viewed my profile. I'm sure she wasn't looking for me, LinkedIn is good at making it weirdly unavoidable to look at or "connect with" people. I was in a long relationship with someone who was (among many other horrible things) cheating on me elaborately as a spectator sport for the enjoyment of his friends/coworkers/bosses (yes, bosses), and when we finally broke up I was just so happy that I never had to even see the face of his super gross-sounding mistress. And then, even though I'm sure I unfollowed/blocked my ex everywhere, LinkedIn tried to make me connect with her, so I had to see her shitty rattyass face. At least I didn't think she was hot at all but I was so fucking pissed. But anyway, with my old friend it wasn't that we got in a fight, we were just growing apart quickly and she did something pretty bad and I reacted pretty badly and we just stopped talking without discussion. I'm not proud of how it went down, but the friendship definitely had to end. Part of me is a little afraid the LinkedIn viewing is the prelude to her trying to communicate somehow. I really don't need closure and I wouldn't want to repair the relationship, like I think she's a decent person and I wish her well but I wouldn't be at all interested in having a conversation. If she actually reached out for that and I turned her down I would feel like a huge fucking coward and it's arguable that I owe her more than that, but I don't know. I don't think there would be any point to it. I've narrowed down my range of friends a lot over the past several years and I'm pretty happy with the way things are now. Fuckin LinkedIn.

[sinsandsweetness]

Vigilant (sex and zombies- chapter 8)

pairing- {Rick x fem!reader x Daryl}

summary- Rick may or may not be developing some minor control issues.

warnings- 18+ content, MDNI! threesome, dp, anal sex, very filthy rickyl threesome

notes- Fully just an excuse for a threesome <3

You couldn't help but feel a little frustrated at the newfound lack of privacy within the prison walls.

It wasn't something you'd thought about before they all settled in, but the complete invasion of space and privacy had hit you hard with the acceptance of the newest community members. And since the prison had filled right up, it made sneaking away with Rick more and more difficult with every night. Your visits had become less routine, and more of an occasional thing. And while that bothered you both, there really were larger issues at hand.

The clusters of walkers were a never-ending threat to the safety of the entire prison. Glenn and Maggie mentioned over supper that they had passed a construction depot a few days ago, and decided that would be the best bet at finding some supplies. The reinforcements on the fence needed to be dealt with immediately, and everyone could see it. So as the crew was gearing up to leave in the morning, you joined them with your bag on your back and a machete in your belt.

"No." Rick glanced up from loading his gun when he saw you approach. "You're staying here."

"What? Why?"

"There's too many of us going already. You can stay here and hold down the fort."

"But Carol's already staying. And Hershel and-" You countered. You needed to leave the walls. You were beginning to feel like a zoo animal. Every day, rotting corpses watched you garden through their viewing point at the fence.

Before Rick could object again, the sound of wheels on the gravel grabbed your attention.

"Hop on." Daryl rolled his bike towards you both, motioning you to join him.

"Absolutely not." Rick stood his ground. You couldn't help the scoff that left your mouth. He could be so unreasonable. You wanted to leave.

"She can hold her own, man." Daryl spoke up before you had the chance.

"I know that. I just think she should stay here with Carl and Judith, there's too many of us leaving and if something-"

“Why don’t you quit tryna make decisions for her. You ain't in charge anymore, remember?"

Ricks jaw clenched and you wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep forever. Too much testosterone in this prison. It wasn't the first argument between them in the last few weeks, and definitely wouldn't be the last.

Daryl was becoming more and more irritated with you and Rick as the weeks went on. His frustrations taken out in the form of snide comments and rolled eyes.

Maggie, Glenn, and Michonne watched the encounter from the trucks on the driveway. If you did join, the whole trip would be a 'who's dick is bigger’ contest for the two men. And you didn't really care to be the the judge anymore. But you were sick of both of them thinking they could tell you what to do. When it came to the bedroom, you were more than willing. But Daryl was right, you could hold your own. And you actually wanted on the run. You needed some fresh air. Away from all the kids and former Woodbury citizens who never shut the hell up. You missed your original group and the quiet solitude that came with them. The privacy...

"I'm going ok? I'll ride with Maggie and Glenn." You started to make your way to the car at the gate. The sound of the men bickering was still behind you as you passed the courtyard gate. 

"Hey!" Rick called your name from behind you. Jogging to catch up next to you. "Why can't you just stay here where it's safe, huh?" He moved in front of you, blocking your path.

"I feel like I'm trapped inside this fence Rick. And these people and their bratty children are driving me insane." You crossed your arms and looked at him with a defiant stare. "It's just a run, something I've done a hundred times before. If it's so unsafe then no-one should be going, don't you think?"

He scowled and looked around at the group waiting for you both at the gates. After a moment he rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He knew you didn't need permission, but he gave it to you anyway. He placed his hand on the small of your back, leading you down the rest of the gravel path. "But you're riding with me." 

You bit back your smile as he opened the truck door.

--------------------------

"All right everyone, let's focus on getting the trailers filled first. We're grabbing all the lumber and tools we can fit. Then we can focus on the rest. Weapons, batteries, appliances, anything you think could be of use, and that fits in your bag." Rick announced to the group, circled around the main entrance of the hardware store. It was huge. And for whatever reason, seemed to be skipped when the initial shitstorm of an apocalypse had hit. Once you all entered, it didn't even look like it had been raided at all yet.

The group cleared the dozen walkers in the store effortlessly. Once Rick and Glenn finished with their thorough check of the building, you decided to venture off on your own. Towards the sign reading 'garden centre'. If Rick was going to keep trying to turn you into a farmer, you at least wanted a slightly more diverse palette of fruits and veggies to tend to. And to eat. Well mostly to eat.

While sifting through the packets of seeds on a stand, you daydreamed about eating raspberries, freshly picked and still warm from the sun. The thought of their sweet juice made your mouth water.

You grabbed the entire shelf full of seeds, and began packing them into your bag. 

“Radishes?” Daryl’s voice made you turn. He was holding a packet of seeds that fell into the floor. 

“Mhm, they’re good for you.” You snatched the packet from him and zipped up your bag. Moving towards the aisle with the gardening tools. 

“Gross.” He followed you closely, as you inspected the tools and fertilizer on the shelves.

“They can actually be really good. I didn’t think possums were very tasty before I met you, but here we are,” 

You could practically hear Daryl roll his eyes.

“Rick sure has you working out there a lot, you some kind of farmer now? How do you like being his little minion, picking weeds all day?”    “Beats skinning squirrels with your ass.” You shot back. As soon as you stopped sleeping with him, his attitude went right back to how it used to be. Picking fights and being a prick.  “You’re eatin’ the damn squirrels.”

“Oh shut up, seriously what is up your ass lately?” 

“What’s up my ass? What’s up yours? You were all over me a few weeks ago and now you can’t even handle a little friendly banter.”

Daryl opened a door at the back of the aisle.

”We didn’t clear that room Daryl it could be-“

But he ignored you. Instead took off with his bow up, and ready. You swore under your breath and went after him.

“Seriously?”

Daryl had already taken the two walkers down, and was retrieving his arrows from their rotting skulls. The room was windowless, and contained a bunch of shelves. Most were empty, and a few were filled with cardboard boxes.

“Okay there’s nothing here so let’s just go back,” you tugged on his long sleeve. But instead of listening he just used your hand and dragged you further into the dark storage room.

”Daryl we should go back it’s not-“ 

With your attention on Daryl, a cold hand grabbed at your shoulder.

”Fuck!” You stumbled at the sudden pull on your arm and twisted around, quickly grabbing the machete from your belt. You could hear Daryl telling you to move but you swung instead, your blade slicing through the things skull like butter. 

"-as I was saying," you pulled the knife out of the walker with a splat of blood hitting your face, "It's not safe in here." The body thunked to the ground.

He was only looking at you, crossbow loaded and ready to fire. But there was a hint of amusement written on his face.

“You’re no fuckin' fun anymore.” He gently approached, urging you backwards, until you were shoved up against a storage shelf. The metal cold on your skin.

"Daryl can we please just get out of here."

”You used to be so fun,” his voice was low and suggestive, “Before, when he barely payed any attention to you. You used to sneak around and do whatever bullshit I wanted.” 

"Yeah well, things are different now, so just… get out of my face.” You turned your head but he brought his hand up, and his fingers closed around your jaw, pulling your attention back to his face.

"Yeah they are different now. He ruined you."

"Excuse me?"

"You know exactly what I mean. You're his little puppy dog now. Never used to take shit from me, but you will from him? What could he possibly be doing to have you actin’ like such a loyal little slut-"

"Daryl." There was a warning in your voice. His eyes widened.

"Oh my god. I'm right aren't I? He's fucking you isn't he?" He must have sensed some sort of confession through your uncomfortable demeanour. "Makes sense I guess. The way you've been avoiding me, turning me down."

"Can we drop this please?" You grabbed at his wrist, and pulled his grip off your face. 

"Did he tell you not to see me anymore?"

"No," you smacked at the hand trying to grab at your jacket. "I chose to stop ok? He didn't force me to do anything."

From the doorway, you both heard the faint sound of someone yelling, trying to get the group rounded up. Daryl's eyes rolled and shook his head. You pushed him away and started to make your way to the door. He kept up with your pace, right at your side.

"You've always been obsessed with him, I shoulda known." His voice was almost a whisper and you just wanted to smack him.

"Fuck off. Can we please just keep this between us?"

He huffed but couldn't hide the tiny laugh that escaped. "Typical." 

"What happened?" Rick asked as you approached his truck. His hand came up to your face and wiped the tiny smear of blood.

"Nothing she couldn't handle." Daryl brushed by him on the way to his bike. Rick's face twitched in irritation but he kept his attention on you. 

"Get inside." He opened the door of the truck and nudged you inside. Slammed it, walked around, and got in on the other side. 

The ride back home was uncomfortably tense. 

--------------------------

The team got the new reinforcements up in two days. They seemed to be working really well. Looked and felt sturdy enough. Only time would tell.

You watched a small cluster of walkers gnaw at the fence from your viewpoint up on the watchtower. Your attention suddenly caught by some movement around the inside fence. No one should be out here except for you. You squinted at the figure in the dark.

Typically Rick didn’t like you being on watch outside all alone, but he had no good excuse as to why you shouldn’t. You really could hold your own. And even he knew it.

Besides, most nights nothing happened. The point of watch had turned into making sure the fence and reinforcements were actually holding. Stabbing the walkers through the fence during the day only did so much. But now someone was in the yard. Setting your rifle up on the ledge of the railing, you peered through the scope, trying to get a better look at who might be out there. 

Finally they moved again. And the crossbow on their back gave them away. 

Just Daryl. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. He had some small furry animal in his hands. Probably on his way back from checking a trap. Kind of late for that though. 

You waved at Daryl once it seemed like he might be able to see you from the yard. He did, but didn’t wave back. A few moments later you heard the door to the watch tower creak open and you were joined by his company.

“Hey,” he sat on the desk in the tower. A dead rabbit plopped down right beside him. 

“Hey…” 

“Didn’t think you were even allowed up here. Let alone at this hour.” His passive aggressive tone accompanied by a scowl. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

A dry laugh escaped his lips. “Oh come on,” 

You raised your eyebrow. You knew what he meant but you just wanted to hear it. 

“He’s controlling. It’s toxic.” 

Now it was your turn to laugh. Toxic. Rich coming from Daryl. The one who used to pick fights only to fuck an apology out of you the same night. 

“He is not toxic. And trust me he is not controlling.” He might have been a bit protective as of late but he didn't control you. Not the way Daryl was implying. Rick made it clear that you were the one that makes decisions for yourself. It didn't mean he was happy about it when you decided to go against what he might want. But that rarely happened anyway. The run to the hardware store was the first time you really had to put your foot down.

“He’s just… protective.” You put the rifle down, propped up against the wall of the tower. You should be watching the yard, but you really missed Rick lately. He'd been busy putting up the fence reinforcements and hadn't really spoken to you since the run. So if Daryl wanted to talk about him now, you didn't care to object.

“He is controlling. That’s exactly how he is. He’s a cop, that’s like their thing. Hell It’s his whole personality, are you kidding?” Daryl’s voice raised slightly. “And you know what? When I confronted him about it, he didn’t even deny it. Didn’t make a single excuse. You just don’t see it cause you’re too dumbstruck by his-“ 

“You talked to him about me?”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself.”

“Daryl seriously...”

“What we ain’t allowed to talk? Just cause we’re both fuckin' you doesn’t mean we gotta be sworn enemies or some shit,” 

“Then what is the big deal? He's a good guy. He's protective and caring and-”

“He doesn't want you to do anything except pick weeds for Christ's sake! It’s getting in the way of the important shit.” 

“Why the hell do you even care? It doesn't affect you! Are you mad or something? That I listen to him better than I ever did to you?”

That struck a nerve. 

“I had you first don’t you fuckin’ forget it-“ 

“Don’t be so crude.” You were in front of him now, settled between his legs as he sat on the desk. “‘Sharing is caring’ right?”

“Oh fuck off,” his tone had settled. He wasn’t really mad. He glanced down your shirt. A clear view from his angle. He was just sexually frustrated. You hadn't seen him in weeks. Not alone anyway. Not like you used to.

“He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to me. That’s all.” 

“So?! I don’t want anything bad to happen to you either but I wouldn't wanna keep you locked up in here like some pet ,” he nearly spat the last word. 

“Daryl he doesn't…” 

“What do you even see in him?” 

Jealousy was an interesting look on Daryl. Something you never really thought you’d see. And for some unknown reason, it turned you on.

“See in who?” A voice from the doorway startled you. An adrenaline surge straightened your spine, and you turned to focus on Rick's face. 

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that,” you pointed out. But Rick wasn’t looking at you. He was looking at Daryl. You backed away as he slid off the desk. Leaning against it instead. 

“You should be watching the yard.”  

“I am.” 

“Seems like you're gossiping with Daryl.” 

You rolled your eyes, reaching back for your rifle. But Rick grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back towards him. 

“You know,” he started. Hand reaching up to caress your cheek gently. “Me and Daryl here get along a lot better than you might realize,” Rick's hand was pulling your chin up to look at him. Wanting to lean into his touch but avoiding it due to the audience you had. 

“Isn’t that right Daryl?” He glanced at the man, now standing in front of the desk. A weird cloud of tension filled the room. 

You looked over at Daryl but he was hard to read. He wasn’t uncomfortable. But he seemed a little shy. The nod of his head almost escaped your notice. 

"He only really acts like an asshole when you're around." 

Daryl only scowled. 

Rick turned his attention back to you. "We're actually pretty good friends most of the time. When you aren't here at least. Funny isn't it." 

You stayed silent. Unsure what Rick was getting at. His hands started to make their way down to your hips, pulling you towards him, 

“Rick what are you doing?"

Instead of answering, he looked over at Daryl.

“I'm not sure that she believes me. Why don't we show her just how well we can get along."

His tone was suggestive. And you don’t even know how to feel about the whole situation. But before you could react, Rick turned you by the shoulders and urged you towards the other man with a gentle push. 

You hesitated, and looked over your shoulder. Assuring his permission. Rick's nod and lust filled eyes were all you needed.

You reached a timid Daryl, still leaned against the desk. Slowly you grabbed his hand and placed it around your waist. Closing the space between you. Daryl’s eyes kept shifting. Torn between wanting to focus on the attention you were about to give him, and the hot gaze of the man behind you.

You closed the space between your lips, kissing him softly. Something you’d hardly really done despite your history together. His other hand instantly went to your neck. Pulling you in deeper. 

You reached for his belt. What the hell were you doing.

Once you had Daryl’s buckle undone and a hand palming his hard on, you felt Rick's body press against your back. Lips going to your neck and hands holding onto your hips. You could feel his cock through his jeans, pressed up against your ass. Begging to be inside of you. 

Daryl moved his mouth down to your chest, nipping at the sensitive skin. Allowing you to turn your head back and catch Rick's lips. You could feel the smirk on his face. He kissed you over your shoulder and peeled your shirt up and off, discarding it onto the ground. 

The men shared a playful look before your jeans were being pulled down. Adding to the pile of clothes on the floor. You were positive that Daryl would be able to feel your heartbeat through your chest. Nerves heightened by the two men who knew your body the best. 

“Sit down” you hear Rick order at Daryl. Fortunately, Daryl was too busy anticipating a potential orgasm to be bothered at the aspect of being bossed around. 

So he sat in the office chair beside the desk, and Rick's hand on your shoulder pushed you down to your knees right in between Daryl’s legs. Putting you exactly where you belonged.

Daryl lifted his hips slightly to allow you to tug his jeans far enough to reach what you needed. And taking his cock in your hand, you focused on his face, holding eye contact while you licked and kissed your way up his shaft. It was something you didn’t even know if he enjoyed, since you usually just went straight into it. But the way he threw his head back and tangled his fingers into your hair assured you that he did.

You knew Daryl well by now. You could generally make him come in under two minutes. But for some reason, Rick's presence made you want to put on a show. You wondered if he liked it. If it turned him on to watch you with another man.

The hands peeling off your panties, hinted at an answer. Rick was knelt right behind you, and his fingers were tickling their way up your legs, brushing your clit and teasing your entrance. 

You decided to quit teasing Daryl and allow his grip on your hair to pull your mouth fully onto his cock. Bobbing up and down in a rhythm you’d perfected so well. A moan escaped you before you even realized what had touched you. A tongue making its way up your slit.

Rick was eating you out from behind. And with a cock in your mouth and a tongue on your cunt, you were fucking aching. You looked up through long lashes to see Daryl watching the show behind you with slightly parted lips. 

He was close already. 

You could hear his labored breath and grunts. His arm muscles continuously flexed, holding you down. Your moans intensifying as Rick switched to use his fingers. Fucking you from behind. You slowed your pace on Daryl and eventually replaced your mouth with a hand, catching a breath and turning back towards Rick. 

“Please…” you needed to be filled. His fingers were skilled, but he knew what you really wanted. 

Instead of shoving his cock in you and fucking you senseless, he shook his head. 

“Unless Daryl has an issue with you being told what to do, you better focus on him. Not me.” 

You could see Daryl scowling when you turned around but the second you continued sucking him off, he couldn’t be bothered. 

The determination to receive his reward had spit running down your chin and sounds you’d normally be embarrassed to have made, pouring out of you. As you kept going, Rick kept going. Pumping his fingers in and out. You could hear him tear open a condom. And finally, the fingers were replaced with his tip. 

“Fuck I’m-“ Daryl tried to warn you. As Rick pushed into you from behind, Daryl came in your mouth, hand gripping your hair so tight your eyes watered. Keeping your mouth wrapped around him until the final drop. You swallowed it all. Coming up for air you moaned at the feeling of the forceful thrusts. Face immediately buried into Daryl’s thigh. 

Rick only gave you a moment before he reached over top of you and pulled at Daryl’s shirt, urging him downwards onto the floor. You took the hint and helped Daryl maneuver underneath you, while Rick continued to fuck you. Daryl moved into a position, underneath you, where you were basically straddling him. Kissing him sloppily in between moans. His dick already getting hard again. 

Rick slid out of you and pulled you up by your hair. Earning a small yelp from you. 

“Ride him.”

It was an order. 

And since you were such a good girl who does as she’s told, you obeyed. 

You guided Daryl’s cock to your slick entrance and even Rick noticed the gasp he made when you sunk down onto him. 

“Fuck,” the man underneath you muttered. 

You turned back to Rick who was slowly stroking himself, watching you intently. Daryl started to buck up into you. A surprise sob leaving your mouth from the new angle. Rick ate it up with a wide grin. He aligned himself with your ass. 

“Wait no I-“

“Shhh-“ he kissed you, one hand grabbing your face and the other attempting to stretch out your hole. The one that wasn't being pounded into from below. 

“It’s not gonna fit-“ you tried telling Rick but the digit moving inside of you proved otherwise. 

He spit on his hand, lubing himself up for you. At least he cared about your comfort right? 

“I’ll go slow I promise,” 

And he did. He inched his way into your tight hole, stretching you to a limit you’d never experienced. It was honestly painful. 

Until it wasn’t. 

“Oh my god.” A low whine dragged from your throat. 

With two cocks stuffed deep inside you, the men took it on their own to create a rhythm. Coordinating their thrusts for your absolute pleasure.

At your sweet moans of gratitude, Rick kissed your shoulder. 

“Such a good girl for us. Isn’t that right?” 

“So fucking good,” Daryl agreed with him. 

“Yes, I- " you started to respond but he pulled you down to kiss him. Shutting you up for the moment at least. 

As they fucked you, the noises you made were downright unholy and there was nothing you could to do stop them. Rick finally forced a hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle them.

An orgasm ripped through you quicker than you’d ever know possible. 

And yet both men continued to pound into you until you were a writhing, crying mess of sobs and tremors. 

You squeezed your eyes shut as your final orgasm took over and you felt Rick come, his hips jutting forward as he buried himself inside of you. Daryl pulled out and came with a moan, on both of your stomachs. 

Shaking and coming down from your high, you mustered up the strength to lift off of Daryl's lap, and as soon as Rick pulled out and tossed his condom away, the three of you collapsed onto the floor of the watchtower. Though it wasn’t the comfiest thing, you were too tired to object. While you caught your breath, Rick covered you with his jacket, and sweet kisses fluttered down your neck. His touch had turned ever so gentle as you melted into him. 

“Are you okay?” He wiped a tear you hadn't registered off your face. You felt like you’d run a marathon. Every muscle in your legs hurt. 

“Uhuh” you nodded and caught his lips, desperate for more, even after being destroyed. 

“And you?” Rick pulled away, only to look over at Daryl who had zipped himself back up with a crimson blush covering his cheeks. 

He grunted in response, and sat up slightly against the desk behind you. Your bodies still touching. 

“Still think I’m controlling?” Rick gave Daryl a smirk. All that did was make the other man roll his eyes. You couldn’t help but notice the slightest pull of a smile at his lips.

You didn’t remember falling asleep. But it was obvious in the morning that someone had dressed you and carried you to your own bed. Tucked you in with a kiss and never brought it up the following day. 

Your ass hurt for a week after that.

[peachesofteal]

How many followers have you've gained since posting COD fandiction because I've feel like you're work is amongst the most popular here in COD tumblr?

First, let me preface this by saying: I was born in the 90s and I've been on Tumblr since 2011.

This feels awkward to me (no hate to you anon) and I think it's just because I don't usually discuss this stuff. It's not really of interest to me but I will answer this because you're not the first person to ask something along these lines, and I’ve consistently ignored these types of questions, which is not entirely fair to the askers.

I've had this Tumblr since October of last year (it's not my only one) and I started out originally posting Sandman and TLOU fic. I posted my first Simon Riley fic in early December on AO3, and didn't even bring it to Tumblr until February. Since then, my follower count has grown pretty steadily, and as of today it sits at just over five thousand. I don't really like talking about this because I've seen so many people get down about themselves in the name of the comparison game and I don't enjoy feeling like I am contributing to that. Not comparing myself to others is something that I have consciously worked at doing in all aspects of my life, for my own mental health and happiness, and I don't do it here. I don't like to contribute to it either. This is why (among other reasons) I've never done a follower celebration. I feel guilt about it because I love you all so much and I'm so grateful to our little community that we've built on this blog, I think we've really cultivated a nice space for each other here where we can indulge in the things we enjoy without judgement (ahem) and take comfort in stories, but I have performance/deadline/life in general anxiety and doing follower celebrations have always intimidated me because I would hate to disappoint any of you, and like I said, I don't play the comparison game.

As far as my work being popular on Tumblr, I think my writing can be an acquired taste that is not always for everyone (which is completely okay, as I have said before, I support everyone creating their own experiences and using the block button liberally) and I would disagree with your opinion (respectfully)

At the end of the day: I care more about writing my silly little stories and having a good time with all of you over the amount of notes on my posts or how many people know I exist.

[poisonedspider]

Sappy post is sappy, but I really just want to thank this fandom for being amazing. I have been roleplaying since I was 11 (should I have been? Probably not). Started on MSN Messenger of all things, and then moved to things like roleplayer.me before everyone transferred to Tumblr. I've been around the block in a lot of fandoms. A lot. Some of which have such a bad reputation that people won't touch them with a pole or will specifically say on their blogs they won't interact with roleplayers from within it.

But this fandom? Is hecking wonderful. It reminds me of why I loved roleplay in the first place. Everyone interacts with one another and likes and comments on things and like....the Blood Ball? Damn @cannibalxroses you really set the stage for me even if I couldn't attend. I love when the community is a community. Doing big events like that where everyone is invited. Everyone is supportive. There's no competition or 'oh my gosh this writer is better than this writer' and makes people feel like trash.

I have never felt like trash once on this blog. Granted, I'm only approaching my month mark, but still. I have never felt threatened or less than. I have never felt compared. I have never been scared to log on. I know anon hate has apparently been going around (from posts I've seen?) but I've never had panic attacks from getting threats like I have in other fandoms.

You guys have all been....so wonderful. And I just want to thank you. Seriously. This has been the healthiest and most loving fandom I've ever participated in. I have never had so many people reach out to me and ask if I'm okay or if I needed to vent after everything that happened this past weekend. Most other fandoms go off on me for posting too much OOC and it not mattering.

I love talking to everyone OOC (I hate doing that in other fandoms and typically avoid it but I love our talks). I love every single thread I have. I have so much muse for everything when normally some threads are like pulling teeth. I can't wait to log on and get stuff done like I am literally buzzing to be here rather than avoiding it.

So thank you all. Thank you for being superb. Thank you for loving my slutty little spider. Thank you for the most creative and inventive threads. Thank you for seeing the person behind the character and that we are all humans with emotions, not just robots doing the writing. You are all just.....I can't. Amazing. Wonderful. Superior. And I can't wait to create more with you. <3

[bugflies00]

right well. i wanted more information before making a decision but to me shubble's tweet seals it. i'm not going to be posting about ccwilbur on this account anymore. it's been clear to be from the beginning that i was never going to keep supporting someone i have concrete reason to believe is an abuser, and now i have that. i don't have words to express how heartbroken i am about it but i know it's the right thing to do, that's never been a question in my mind.

i do want to warn people who are trying to distance themselves fully from the community that i personally have always viewed characters as separate from ccs and will continue to post about them, so if that's something that makes you uncomfortable i fully respect it & you're free to unfollow or block tags. that's not the important part of this situation, but i just wanted to make my stance clear on where this blog is going to go basically.

i wish shubble all the best especially as speaking up about abuse in a community that's this tight knit between fan and cc has to be really fucking terrifying. and im so sorry to all the other victims who've had to navigate the past two days with really triggering things being talked about the whole time. i tried to listen to different perspectives from people who were victims themselves but i've seen many say they felt unsafe in how the situation was handled by many people and i don't know if i participated in that but if i did i'm really sorry, because that was very much the opposite of my intention.