#i've never seen so much vitriol over characters in my LIFE

[kamen-fox-258]

can we all agree that everyone in Geats is traumatized and flawed and will make stupid decisions that will polarize them in terms of moraltity instead of getting into fights over who's right and who is wrong? K, thanks.

[shaunashipman]

I'm a new 9-1-1 viewer (binge watched the first 6 seasons like two weeks before the new one came out and been watching season 7 as it comes out) and I'm so glad I found your blog because it annoys me how most of the conversation around the show is always about b*ddie and I really needed to find people who weren't b*ddie shippers. Like, I get why people ship it even if I don't particularly see it or agree with it but they're always trying to prove how this plot point or the other points at them becoming canon next episode and it's so annoying? Especially now that Tommy is in the picture because I think he's such a great LI for Buck and has so much endgame potential but they're all talking about him being a "stepping stone" for their ship and completely ignoring how this is a chance for him to be in a loving, stable relationship in the long run, something he absolutely deserves.

Honestly sometimes I feel like b*ddie shippers don't even care or like Eddie and Buck, they just want them to kiss onscreen and ignore their well written arcs just because they don't end up in them being canon (which honestly after seven seasons of the same clownery they should have learnt by now that maybe it's just not happening and that's okay! they're well thought out, fully fleshed characters that don't need to be involved romantically to have a satisfying storyline!)

welcome to the fandom, and my blog 👋👋👋

it is unfortunate that the show has so many great characters and dynamics that get consistently drowned out by a single fanon ship. i get it if you're just here for b*ddie, but to make a big fuss over losing a single scene in another couple's big episode? when you still got something? sometimes you need a reality check that the show is actually about other people too

fandom is not about hunting for hints that your ship is going canon. like, i have never seen a fandom that seems to spend more time "proving" their ship is gonna go canon than actually, you know, doing fandom stuff. (i was not in spn/destiel, idk what nonsense went on there) we're supposed to ignore what the TPTB say while we play with our dolls because it doesn't matter, not ignore what they say because clearly they're lying and misdirecting and building up to do what they have have said, as explicitly as they can in tv world, won't be happening. this obsession with "going canon" is, frankly, weird in fandom.

my blood pressure goes up when i read the phrase "stepping stone". even if bucktommy doesn't last, they will never have been a stepping stone. one, because it is a relationship, and relationships can't be stepping stones, that is such a cynical way to look at things and really makes me wonder about some of these people's real life relationships (yeah i know it's fiction, but y'all take it too far in your vitriol for it not to be invading your personal lives) and two, because b*ddie is not happening, so it can't be a stepping stone to it.

they have done everything they can except saying "b*ddie isn't happening" because in tvland ambiguity is your best friend. but ryan calling eddie heterosexual twice is not ambiguous. and i've already said, but ignoring what ryan has said about the coming out scene because it doesn't fit your headcanon is extremely disrespectful. it is fiction, but it is fiction made by people drawing from real life experiences and y'all are shitting on that

and tommy does have such potential!! they like to shit on us for saying that, "oh he's only been there for 4 eps, we don't even know anything about him", and, ignoring that we actually do know some stuff about tommy, more than we've gotten for other LI's, that's why we say potential. we are looking at possible future storylines and seeing how tommy could fit. we are looking at what was lacking in prev LI's (not in a deficient way, just in a compatibility way) and seeing how tommy can fill the spaces they couldn't.

we're basing our theories of him at least sticking around for a bit, not on wardrobe hints and coded gazes and what actors post on their socials, but by what we've seen on-screen, what has been said in interviews in black&white no hidden meaning, and by simple knowledge of story pacing.

and we could be completely wrong. that's part of it being a theory; the acknowledgement that it is not guaranteed . once you start insisting something is 100% going to happen, it's no longer a theory

wow this got long 🫣 sorry for making you read all that, if you're still here lmao. but conciseness is not my strong suit, so enjoy my babbling if you stick around, and feel free to drop in my inbox anytime

[buckera]

As a late in life gay who figured it out pretty much at the same age as Buck discovered his bisexuality, I am weirdly moved by how they're handling it? Deleted scene being canon or not, I can accept it as confirming what the writers have already laid down - Buck is super enthusiastic about exploring his queerness, in every aspect. I can relate so hard because it's exhilarating to learn something new at a point in life where you're starting to feel like you've run out of new discoveries. Ship wars be damned, I'm just so happy for him, I'm happy it's canon, and I'm happy mainstream media has finally reached a point where this is something that can *really happen*.

hii~

first of all let me just say that i am very happy for you and your journey of self-discovery and how you see yourself represented by the show! one of the best things that came out of this season— actually, scratch that, thee best thing that came out of this season is queer people seeing themselves represented on screen in an authentic light.

it's never too late to learn new things about yourself and a lot of the times, even when you think you got yourself all figured out, there are still surprises coming your way!

i also think this is why ship wars turning into a habit of throwing around homophobic slurs, calling for violence against a fictional queer character, his fans and the actor portraying him (yes, i've seen all of these on twt, unfortunately) is really wild to me, cuz like... okay.

so the thing is, most people acting that way are people who are 23 at most, but usually 19 at best and we have to remember that these people were socialised in a bubble — literally.

these are the kids of zoom classes and lockdowns, the "wearing masks and gloves to even interact with the outside world" kids, the "millions have died and we just moved past it like nothing happened" kids who also happened to know very little of queer history or how saying words online actually still have ramifications and weight on real people.

it's a touchy subject and everyone is defensive, which i get, but having the queer people of this fandom witness all this vitriol over something as trivial as a fictional man does break my heart a little ngl

anyway, i completely agree, the show went above and beyond to portray the characters and the relationship as something authentic and normal. there's not another primetime TV show (to my knowledge) that made an established, supposedly straight character —a male character, no less — canonically bisexual.

which is a feat of its own because there just isn't much bi rep out there that isn't just a one-off storyline, there's barely any bi man rep out there en masse, let alone a character like Buck, who's in a macho line of work and had been introduced as a womanizer (even though, as Oliver pointed out, that actually lines up with the storyline pretty well)

so i am definitely grateful for the leap of faith the show took with this arc and even if we have to deal with people acting a certain way, i am still very happy we have this.

[rayshippouuchiha]

yo i'm seeing a lot of dishing about the purity culture of fandom and i absolutely agree

but i'd like to ask

do 'incest fic' count, i mean specifically i'm in the batfam fandom and if you try and write pairing with batman's adopted kids /former robins together everyone and their mother starts screaming at you both online and on ao3, and if you point out the lack of blood relation all you get it 'it's still incest oh my god you're a horrible person who doesn't believe in adopted sibling relationships' and like... i just wanna smush the two pretty vigilante characters together, it's very exhausting, and it also applies to discord, the fandom is very hardcore about policing this and like I get it to an extent because I've seen a lot of posts about how 'seeing batcest on my dash turns my stomach' 'having to scroll past bastcest on ao3 to get anything good is disturbing and disgusting' and tagging, is not enough for these people, i've seen some poor fools pointing out instances of real life adopted siblings who've ended up together due to the adoption being their parents decision ect and the vitriol that's met with is very aggressive, they basically just don't want it to exist and don't want people who ship it to feel safe talking about it out in the open on tumblr because it's weird and something to feel ashamed of that you shouldn't force 'normal people' to see.

And it's like, why do I have to be treated like a fucking leper in online spaces over a ship? It's literally scarlet letter shit where if someone posts something with nightwing x red hood art even if it's cute and utterly harmless like one of them blushing over a hot chocolate people will literally go into their mutuals askbox and 'warn' them that that person you reblogged from likes batcest. Legitimately. It's so toxic.

See, if you're tagging your ship correctly, if you're rating it correctly, if you're posting it in the appropriate places, if you are making it clear what it is that you've created so that others who don't want to interact with it can keep scrolling without clicking or can use their blacklist functions, then you're not doing anything wrong and your responsibility is pretty much over.

And that goes for any ship, any trope, and any fic in any fandom.

It does not matter.

No singular person or group of people has the right to police an entire fandom just because there's content being created that they don't personally like or agree with.

As long as those creators are keeping their content to the appropriate places (i.e. not posting explicit material in a general audience server or purposefully putting ship content under the wrong tag to force others to see it) then it's everyone else's responsibility to curate their own fandom experiences by using blacklists, mute functions, exclude filters, the block button, or just not clicking on content they know they don't like or agree with.

There are ships and tropes that turn my stomach. I don't want to see them, consume them, or even think about them because they squick me out.

And that's on me.

So I block, I blacklist, I mute, and I don't click.

Because the burden of responsibility for what I consume in fandom is on me.

Fandoms are like villages. Yeah, we're all living in close proximity but that doesn't give anyone else the right to come into my house uninvited and tell me they don't like my decor or that I can't cook this particular meal in my kitchen because they are allergic to it even though I never invited them to dinner.

So ignore the people who try and do that.

Tend your roses, fill your shelves, make your meals, and enjoy yourself instead.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Tbh I'm Black and I thought people shipping Namor and Shuri were just a bunch of cidhet White reylos. And from what I'm seeing it is the same for a lot of us. It's time to accept that Black people are going to be divided in this matter, and that's okay we don't all think the same. But we aren't getting anywhere assuming the haters are just white by default

I used to live on tumblr more but now I live on TikTok more and I've seen nothing but Black women discussing this ship and I didn't even know there was controversy around it until I got literally attacked lol. It's also weird to assume someone is white, period. I usually only assume someone is white when they're, like, on Twitter saying some outrageous Far Right political shit but preface it with "As a Black man,". (Or I assume they're a bot.)

Like, it's out of left field, to me. Idk how other Black women are taking it, but it's crazy, like literally delusional and insane, to me, to assume that I would make this blog years and years and years ago and just elect to be one of the most underrepresented and disrespected demographics of comics fans and superhero movie fans for fun so that I could... disagree with the fans of a movie that wasn't even in the realm of existing, yet. Like, I'm a white Reylo (I don't even like Reylo, or Star Wars fans at all tbh). I played the long game, pretending to like Iris West and Misty Knight and Valkyrie and defending Anna Diop and all of that... just so I could sneak my white ass in to ship Shuri with a character y'all find distasteful? I remember a few years back when people were shipping Shuri with Bucky and a lot of people objected, but I don't remember this level of vitriol and I don't recall anyone just trying to strip long-standing blogs of their identity over it. Marvel fans have always had disagreements and shipping has always been one of the biggest ones, but I've never, in my life, felt so attacked over an opinion that I don't even hold that strongly. Like I said, I don't care about the ship that much. I only said it was fun. I don't see how shipping 2 fictional people, even lightly, even in passing, is antiblack. Antiblackness is such a bigger thing than "you shipped characters I don't like".

Usually, we're fighting the opposite, which is nobody shipping the Black characters at all, or not liking any ships with Black characters, or treating the Black characters in the ship like the psychologist for the non-Black characters in the ship. I ain't never seen no shit like this. I didn't know y'all didn't like antagonist/protagonist ships that hard. I didn't come on here to convince anyone of anything, I just came here because it's usually a fun place to geek out about these movies and things. But, no, it's not fun. Y'all are on here making huge judgements of people over shipping... like Ryan Coogler wrote it that way. Talk to him, if it bothers you that much.

But to question my entire identity, my family, my political leanings, my loyalty to my community? It's sick. Like, I can't even defend myself. If I start saying, like, I was literally getting tear gassed at BLM protests in 2020, I sound ridiculous. If I say ACAB, I sound like I'm trying too hard to convince y'all I'm Black. If I talk about actual Black American issues I care about, like the school to prison pipeline, I sound like I'm just bringing up talking points. But you guys get to decide I hate myself and other Black women because of Shuri and Namor, a fictional African princess and a fish man who were written into a screenplay. Like, what fucking sense does that make?

Like, none of this is real, but I am a real person behind this account. Y'all are making me physically ill over this.

[beansterpie]

For the character bingo: Griffith, Farnese, The Fool, aaaand your favourite Eyeshield 21 character, whoever that may be.

<3 <3 <3 tyyy for the ask! most of which I will putting under a cut because this is quite long lol so GRIFFITH:

Oh were to start <3

Griffith is such a wonderful character who's been living rent free in my brain for the past? Several years?? But I also haven't encountered a character who incites quite so much vitriolic hatred like he does, especially considering that he's written to be quite sympathetic imo. The amount of terrible takes out in the wild web is bonkers, thus the 'everyone but me (and my friends) are wrong about him' and 'done dirty by the fans'. Regarding being done dirty by the creators, that's still up in the air-- depends on how his arc ends. But seeing as the whole moonbaby thing uh exists, I think my choice is valid.

I love Griffith and Guts equally, in large part because of the way they orbit one another, so they both work better as a dynamic (which each other <3) and he's one of the two best characters in the work imo. There's so much wrong with this boy, but I'm adamant that he's never done anything wrong ever in his life, and this opinion really IS like swinging a bat at a hornet's nest lmfaooo. Fight me about it!!

That being said though, in large part because of his Issues™ and Actions™, no I would not want to meet him irl. Even if the eclipse didn't happen, he's just too intense and messy man, I don't wanna deal with that. I just wanna watch and poke him from afar.

FARNESE

Farense is one of those characters where I really like her potential as a character, but I'm largely disappointed with how she turned out lol. I think her initial character traits were really fascinating, and quite unique! Plus her complicated relationships with her half brother is also really frought with tension, but then halfway through her personality basically does a 180 and all the things that were interesting about her mostly up and disappear. AND, so far anyway, the issues between her and Serpico have just been left hanging. So yeah, loved when there was something deeply wrong with her, and never want to meet her because of it, so I like the version of her that I wish she had been.

THE FOOL

It's them!! I love the Fool (or Beloved, his true name), he is so precious. He is put through so much shit, though that isn't the reason why I think he was done dirty (well, not the only reason). That's for lack of follow through with FitzFool as a ship lmfaooo I just wanted them to be happy together and I was so mad to learn that doesn't actually really happen. I would love to see the Fool in every book in the series, and to be more prominant in the ones that he IS in because he's great and that's that. And he really DID nothing wrong ever in his life, and I'm not even being all that tongue and cheek about it lol. Usually characters who are just Good™ can be a bit boring, but he's just such an endearing mix of mischevious, mysterious, and genuinely kind, that I can't help but love him.

EYESHIELD 21 CHARACTER: HIRUMA

YA-HA BABEY!

I've been rereading es21 lately and ugh, I love him your honor. He's kind of a strange character to describe, because in a lot of ways he starts off less as a character and more just this narrative force of nature that exists to make crazy, badass things happen since our protagonist is like, the meekist of meek in personality, and nothing would happen if it was left up to him lol. But as the series progresses you do see glimpses of his humanity, and he loves football!! and his friends!! And he's just UGH so over the top but so relatable and inspiring? Weird combo but there it is.

But yeah he is a difficult character to capture I think, because bluffing is like breathing to him and he's also at least half a loonytoons character. (He and Bugs Bunny should really hang out) So while I have definitely seen good depictions of him in fic and art and stuff, I also see looootsss of stuff where I'm like 'he would NOT say/do that' hfhfh. Plus I have specific hc's about him that I'm pretty adamant about. Also he's the fandom bicycle, and I think the ships are all fairly valid, but the really popular ones are the ones that I actively don't ship so.

He is such a fun character, but I would hate to meet him in real life because he'd probably blackmail me into doing menial jobs for him with no reward soooooo that is also why there are many things wrong with him lol. He's the kind of character that works because the story he's in is also really over the top-- if you met him in real life, he'd just be in jail.

[shellhawk]

Thoughts on Destiel

I think about the whole Destiel thing more than someone with as many irons in the fire as I have, should. I mean, there’s Real Life™ to think about, right?

But then people in the fandom start hating on Destiel, and start pouring out their bigotry on this greatest of love stories, the story that was snatched away from us by cowardly producers. Jack help you if you mention it on a regular SPN fan page on Facebook; you will be piled on with so much hate and vitriol, it's insane.

Still, we believe. We know. Destiel is Canon.

We believed even when they killed our Angel of Thursday after the most heart-rending confession of love I have ever witnessed. When they left The Righteous Man on the floor of the dungeon, in shock and weeping because he couldn't say, "I love you, too, Cas," back, and it was forever too late for him.

I mostly think about it while I’m drifting off to sleep, after reading some really good fanfiction.

I see myself at the con that’s coming up in Hawaii in 2023. On the beach, I somehow run into Jensen, Misha, and sometimes Jared, and we strike up a conversation. (Since Dean always talked about retiring on a beach, somewhere, in my head, it fits.)

Sometimes I ask them if they’ve been to the Buddhist Temple up North on the Island, the one behind the big graveyard on the hill, and tell them that they should go, and take the kids to see it.

More often, in this almost dream, I see myself explaining to all of them (because they're a captive audience, now) about Destiel, and why it’s so important to me, and so many others.

So I tell them:

Look, guys, here’s the thing. I feel like in every part of the multiverse, these characters are always connected, even if some of the relationships are different from the ones in the Supernatural 'verse.

Sam and Dean are always brothers. In the Supernatural 'verse, they’re brothers and shield-brothers, shield-brothers being men who fight together as a team, who always have each other’s backs, like you find in the military with men who are in combat together. And Sam and Dean are lucky enough to have this blessing as blood-related siblings.

Sam always has an Eileen, a Ruby, a Jess, though my preference as his partner is always Eileen, because she understood the Hunter’s life and could defend herself. He would never really have to worry about her as she would never have “damsel in distress” as her first option.

I believe that in the multiverse, Dean and Castiel always had each other. And I believe that in the Supernatural Universe, Dean and Cas are mates and shield-mates. Men who fight together, would die for each other, always have each other’s backs, and happen to be deeply in love with each other. True mates, like they say in all the best fanfictions.

Even though smutty fanfiction is the go-to for Destiel, it's not the entire appeal. (Don't get me wrong, that has its place, too!) I'd hazard a guess that it's not even the lion's share of the appeal, but it's not all about "pervy housewives" letting their repressed sexual fantasies loose (if that even is a thing), if you catch my drift.

If it were just about the sex, it wouldn't be so enduring, it wouldn't have over 100k fics on A03. No, baby, it's about the L-O-V-E.

I don’t buy into the homophobic garbage about Dean and Cas loving each other like brothers because Cas was an angel and angels don’t think about sex, yadda, yadda.

I think that Castiel, as an angel, would have thought nothing of Dean’s gender, because he saw his soul, first. The body would be incidental to the brightness of the Soul of the Righteous Man. It's just a vessel, as it were, and why get hung up on the vessel when the important part was so bright, so pure?

I've seen some theories that Cas can't see anyone's real physical bodies with his eyes. Only their true selves, like he can see demons. So it makes sense that if he fell in love, he fell in love with Dean's true self.

And Cas's hard-wired program from Chuck is to love and help mankind, even if it costs him his life, so again, why wouldn't he fall in love with a man?

Why on earth anyone would believe God could program an Angel like that and then have that angel not fall in love with the true human inside the vessel is beyond me. I think that Chuck in his early days of creation, before he was a bitter jerk with a penchant for breaking his toys, wouldn't have batted an eye at that.

The show’s theme is unconditional love. No matter how many times you mess up, no matter how badly you mess up, you can still redeem yourself. It reminds me of that quote from 2005's Constantine, by Gabriel:

“You're handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator - murderers, rapists, and molesters - all of you, you just have to repent, and God takes you into His bosom. In all the worlds in all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man.”

And in Supernatural, you can repent and can still have the love and support of these people, this incredible family who aren't blood, for the most part. Sure, they'll be pissed at you and call you a dumbass, because family does that, too, when you need it.

But even when you mess up, all you have to do is to try to fix things. You just have to ask for help. And you get that unconditional, all-encompassing love and forgiveness. Just like God said at the beginning of time.

Both Dean and Cas had epic screwups, epic lapses in judgement, but they still came back to each other and made things right. Like all the best couples do.

In the Supernatural Universe, Cas was the one “off the line with a crack in his chassis.” He was the one who didn’t do what he was told, what Chuck made him to do. Somehow, in that universe, Castiel, Angel of the Lord, touched Dean in the Pit of Hell, and Castiel was “lost.”

But when you think more deeply about it, in every part of the multiverse, Chuck made these characters for each other.

Like, they were literally made for each other by God, himself.

You have only yourself to blame, Chuck.

We just got lucky that this Cas and this Dean were the stubborn ones. The ones who refused to let go of each other, to kill each other when Heaven and Hell were doing everything they could to force them to do just that.

They overcame Naomi’s programming of Cas to kill thousands of Deans so he could kill the real one when she commanded it, and they overcame Dean’s subjugation to the Mark of Cain because of love. Because at the moment when they could strike at each other’s hearts, at the time they could end each other's entire existences, they dropped their knives and walked away, rather than destroy the one person they loved above all others.

They gave up everything for each other, over and over again. And they saved each other, over and over again.

Destiel is important to us because we all crave that kind of loyalty, that kind of safety with another person, that kind of love and forgiveness.

We crave it so very deeply because most of us have never had it. Some of us have had abuse and betrayal, instead.

We look at Dean and Cas and their profound bond and we want that more deeply than we have ever wanted anything. Because that profound bond is more important than anything. That profound bond with one another is what makes humanity unique. Worth saving.

We want that happy ending for them, when their trials are done and they have earned peace and each other, a thousand times over. We need it because we need that for ourselves.

Cas and Dean as Destiel, gave us the hope that we, too, could experience a profound bond, and with it, unconditional love and acceptance.

And in my dream - because by now I’ve drifted off and can hear the ocean and the sea birds and see Diamond Head off in the distance - the guys nod and smile, not because they’re being polite and they need to run to a signing, but because they get it.

They just get it.

[mysticdragon3md3]

🤔💭🔥🐲🦌🦁...

Earlier today, I saw someone's old post about how they love FE3H but don't care about the discourse. They said they didn't care about all the worldbuilding, lore, character conflicts, etc. They were just in it for the battles and dragons and such.

Despite how much I've come to hate how the discourse and fear of other fans has made me anxious about expressing my fandom for FE3H…I think I have to admit that maybe I like the discourse. I LIKE thinking about the worldbuilding and character backstories. I LIKE thinking about all the character conflicts and allegories in the story themes. I LIKE figuring out what ideals I agree with and what anti-ideals that FE3H has reminded me of, and why I feel so strongly against my personal anti-ideals.

And though it's likely a really toxic trait of mine, I also like only hearing good things about my favorite characters and favorite route (points). I like dumping on the characters I dislike, because they're not real and only fictional characters are acceptable to bully. I like sticking to my FE3H bubble with my specific headcanons about my favorite ship. I don't get into fandom to add extra stress to my life. It's supposed to alleviate my real life stress. So if I only want to fixate on the positive things (from my opinion), then I'll do that.

That tactic served me well in past fandoms. …It's just that, compared to other fandoms I've been in, I've been absolutely perplexed at how much FE3H's different bubbles strangely spill over into differing---CONFLICTING---VITRIOLICALLY CONFLICTING bubbles. Back when I was in Persona 5 fandom, my favorite character was the most hated character in the cast, by the majority of the fandom, for years and years, until P5R released. But I never saw hate for him, because I stayed in the Ryuji bubble. No one's Ryuji-hate, ever spilled into the Ryuji tag. The most I saw of my nOTP were random suggestions by social media algorithms, which I did complain about (to Tumblr. I complaied to the void about Tumblr algorithms showing me my nOTP, because it's a popular ship. I didn't complain about my nOTP on posts fangirling over that ship.) But I never got long ranting posts dumping on my OTP and trying to force my nOTP onto me. All the P5 factions stayed in their bubbles and we left each other alone, to enjoy the series in the way that we each preferred.

So it really confuses me why FE3H fandom never seems to stay in their own bubbles, their own factions, why it's so difficult to avoid seeing hate for your favorite character/route/OTP, etc. In fact, sometimes, others will look down on you for staying in a bubble, for not engaging with the full game, all the routes, and every single character. Staying in your bubble in FE3H is sometimes treated as a derogatory practice, according to some people's opinions, used to invalidate whatever feelings/opinions you may have about FE3H and especially how you choose to enjoy FE3H, even if a corded-off bubble is the way a person gets the most enjoyment and least stress out of FE3H. I'm just thoroughly dumbfounded and stumped. I don't use the Emperor's name in my anti-Emperor posts. I don't even tag my ridiculous bullying of her with her actual name. And i certainly dont comment character-hate onto character-fan posts. And though I seem to have a completely different headcanon for the relationship dynamics of my favorite FE3H ship, compared to the majority of the fanbase, I've created my own tag for that ship, so that the majority of that ship's fanbase and my headcanons, don't have to clash. I don't even tag my fanart of that ship with their common ship name! (And I drew them A LOT…for a while, EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY.) And yet, despite the precautions (which I assume SOME others take too), I still see nOTPs and personal anti-ideal interpretations of FE3H on my feeds. Then again, even in terms of our favorite characters, we can't seem to agree on their CHARACTERIZATIONS and what makes them so great. I've seen Claude fans laud him for holding to standards in his methods for achieving his goals, then other Claude fans laud him for being willing to do anything, regardless of moral standards, for his goals. Our perspectives on why we love our favorite, even singular characters, can be so conflicting, it can be frustrating to see our favorite character "misunderstood" by fellow fans of the exact same characters. We can't agree about anything in FE3H, even amongst our own bubble/factions. This has been such a weird fandom for me.

I feel like I've posted before about trying to process all this confusion, but I can never seem to find that exact post. I remember other people trying to address the same confusion in the FE3H fandom. But I can't remember what they said. All I know is that, after a whole new fandom finally broke me away from constantly obsessing over FE3H, the distance has been a relief. Even as that new fandom has started to fade its intensity from my mind, and I find myself drifting back towards FE3H, I find myself thankfully not so intense about FE3H as before. Not so intensely defensive, stubborn, volatile, reactive, etc. The mental/emotional distance has been a blessing.

---even if I don't know what to do with myself, when I don't have a fandom to intensely obsess over. I mean, what is strong enough to make the constant stream of anxious thoughts go away, when there's no intense obsession, always ready to be visualized by default in my brain? What other thoughts besides fandom obsession are strong enough to instantly supersede any anxious intrusive thoughts, reliably and effectively alleviating me of any negative thought spiral? I stay obsessed with one fandom at a time or one OTP persistently, for years at a time. I don't watch as much anime as I used to. and even when I do, I just don't get overtaken by a new obsession. I'm behind on all the new popular series and ships: JJK, Geto/Gojo, Demon Slayer KNY, Mob Psycho 100, Frieren, Chainsaw Man, Blue Lock, HeroAca, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Kaiju No.8, etc. …and mostly because I've tried them, but wasn't interested enough to stay, let alone get obsessed over. About the only new series I seem to enjoy are a handful (Dungeon Meshi, Spy x Family, Apothecary Diaries, and what little I see of a few other iyashikei series). Yet, even those, I'm not obsessing over. I like them; they're not my new intensely effective mental/emotional balm to fight back against my anxiety. I miss having a blorbo to obsess over so intensely, that I see everything in life as related to or reminding me of them. I miss having an OTP so intense, that just the idea of them being happy, keeps my depression at bay. It's a really useful thing, to have a fandom to intensely obsess over.

I miss it. But I'm also kind of worried, that until a new one grabs me, I'm drifting back towards FE3H. That wasn't a healthy or safe place to be. It gave me just as much emotional pain and social anxiety, as the real life anxiety, that I was using my FE3H ship to counteract. It's worrisome.

I can only try to enjoy FE3H as a solo fan. That seems to be the safest thing. It keeps FE3H as a positive experience for me, without the fandom adding negative experiences to my life. I used to be a solo fan with everything. (There just weren't many accessible outlets to connect with other niche fans, back in the day, and niche is what anime/manga was back then. Now, I'm starting to get curious about Rumiko Takahashi fandoms, even though I originally enjoyed all that manga/anime, on my own. It's very odd to see arguing over something that I didn't take too far beyond its canon.) So the trick is to apply my old mentality of consuming canon media, to this new age, where I'm too accustomed to interacting with fandom. But it seems like this route is for the best.

[angie-words]

I'm not going to tag this because I don't want to get involved in The Discourse about S4 of The Umbrella Academy but I will put my thoughts below the cut to avoid spoilers. Some of these thoughts are based on deleted scenes released by Netflix.

I'm not sure exactly where some of the vitriol about the series is coming from. I very much agree that Klaus could have had a much more complete arc if they had included the deleted scenes of him at the party and at the rehab meeting. The scene of Luther and Diego talking about how Luther wishes he could have stood up for what he wanted, to protect his loved ones, was touching and gives a lot more depth to Luther's character this season. Not having those scenes definitely detracts from the series.

But I'm not sure about the hate regarding Lila, Five and Diego. I've seen complaints that it's out of character for them (that Lila would be too in love with Diego, that Diego was a great dad to Stanley so why would he not be there for his own kids, that Five had never shown interest in Lila before).

But so much has changed in the 6 years since the reset. The day to day grind of an ordinary life is enough to test most relationships, let alone ones where you both long a little bit for what it was like before, when you were special. Is it really any surprise that the shine of the honeymoon period would wear off swiftly?

As for Five and Lila, it always felt to me like they did have some chemistry before. Then they were alone, together, for over 6 years. Maybe, as Lila said, it was mostly about survival, but is it that surprising that she would seek comfort, or that Five would want to finally feel happy, loved; that he might be tired of the chaos?

It was a bittersweet ending, but I thought those final scenes were beautiful. It didn't, of course, stop my brain from dreaming last night about additional credits scenes where they all survive, separate but happy. But that's what fanfic is for: to create the endings we might want to see.

[morgana96]

Trying to Debunk Things the FFXIV Fandom Keeps Making Up About Lyse Hext

(Warning: Stormblood MSQ Spoilers Under the Cut)

I’ve been playing FFXIV for a few years now. It was my first time every playing a Final Fantasy game, and I was nervous I wouldn’t be any good at it. But FFXIV has been a huge comfort and highlight in my life. It’s gotten me through some very tough times and has really inspired me creatively. Not to mention I've met some really great people through the game, and that the community has so many nice and talented people.

But just like any other fandom, things are far from always perfect. There are fans who engage in offensive and gross behavior, fans who are toxic about how to best play - there are plenty of issues this fandom has that most of us are already aware of. But one thing that I think about a lot - although it's far from the only thing - is the strange amount of malice certain fans display when talking about the character Lyse Hext.

I couldn't understand for the longest time why some players hated Lyse so much. Personally, I enjoyed Stormblood, and I like her character. I enjoyed seeing her learn to step out of her sister's shadow and start to become her own person, and I consider her to be one of many characters who my WoL happily considers a good friend.

So it baffled me that people hated her so intensely. I get that not every character clicks with everyone, and that people have varied tastes. But the absolute vitriol some people treat her with has always confused me. That is, until I eventually realized what part of the problem is.

You see, I'm convinced that a good number of Lyse haters weren’t paying thorough attention to Stormblood’s plot. That, or they’ve simply forgotten certain details with time. Because most of the things they accuse her of or site as reasons for their hatred LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED IN THE GAME.

There are so many accusations I've seen thrown around about her, and nearly all of them are something taken out of context, misremembered, or just straight up made up.

So what I want to do is go over some of the biggest accusations this fandom has perpetuated about Lyse and debunk those that are untrue or based on misunderstanding.

People who've followed me for a while probably know I used to do this all the time back in my Naruto fandom days. I’ve seen some really wild takes from that fandom, and still do occasionally even though the original manga ended nearly a decade ago.

But while I had to wade through a lot of nonsense back then, I really enjoy breaking down stories and characters in order to prove my perspectives. So I’d like to get back into it (especially since I’ve been struggling with focus issues, and this gives me interesting subjects to focus on!)

So let's get started:

“Yda was better than Lyse.”

Let's get something straight right of the bat. The “Yda” these players claim is “better”? That person's not real.

In the game’s timeline, the original 1.0 takes place in 1572, and the true Yda died in 1571. In other words, the “Yda” with Papalymo in 1.0 is Lyse. Apparently, legacy WoLs do encounter the real Yda via Echo visions from before 1.0, but the “Yda” they are with during 1.0 and beyond has always been Lyse. (I am not a legacy/1.0 player, so I'm using resources like the lore books and short stories to get this information.)

So what this means is that unless you are a legacy WoL, you never even knew or saw anything of the real Yda. It was always Lyse.

Everyone in the Circle of Knowing already knew this. Remember, it was Papalymo who asked them not to say anything; he recognized it as a coping mechanism for Yda's death, and he wanted Lyse to figure out for herself that she should not hide herself in her sister's shadow and legacy.

And deep down, Lyse had a feeling the others knew. She just didn't voice this, which is described as her “deciding not to know” that they knew. She even admits that she wasn't trying to truly “become” Yda, so it’s unlikely that she was really changing her personality all that much from what it usually is.

So I can't help but be annoyed when people insist they “liked Yda better”. Not only because I don't think Lyse's personality changed much from when she was “Yda”, but also because people who make this claim fail to see how ridiculous they sound.

The lie was a better character?

You see Lyse’s grief response to losing her older sister as a better character?

You hate that Lyse finally chose to let Yda go and try to become her own person? And preferred the lie?

What a weird hill to die on.

“Lyse didn’t do anything for the Resistance before my WoL showed up”

This is what I’m talking about when I say there are definitely players who just weren’t paying attention and instead make up whatever best fits their own biases.

Lyse and Papalymo were working with the Ala Mhigan Resistance since the end of A Realm Reborn. With a great deal of effort, Conrad managed to get them to Rhalgr’s Reach after the events of the Bloody Banquet, and the two of them pretty much spend the whole time after that working directly with Conrad’s faction of the Resistance until you finally manage to find them again towards the end of Heavensward and right before Stormblood begins

Lyse is not some stranger to them by the time your WoL crosses Baelsar’s Wall. By the time you get there, she’s already become close with Conrad, M’naago, and Meffrid. She’s already gone on countless dangerous missions with the Resistance and engaged directly in conflicts with imperials on their behalf. All of this is made clear in both the MSQ and the extra stories online.

I get so frustrated when blatant misinformation like this gets passed off as canon. How are you going to accurately criticize a character when you don’t even remember major parts of the story you’re criticizing? It makes no sense.

“Lyse stole the credit for saving Ala Mhigo from my WoL!!”

Yeah, no. She didn’t.

I’m not even going to pretend to humor this one. It doesn’t deserve it. It’s a lie. A straight up lie. It literally never happened.

But you know what the most annoying and sad thing about it is? This stupid claim is the exact opposite of how Lyse actually behaves throughout the game.

Lyse is seen regularly talking about how much she looks up to the WoL. She talks so much about how they inspire her, whether directly to them or to others when they’re not around. One of the biggest parts of her arc is getting over her fear of not living up to “true heroes”, including her family and the WoL. Hell, when people rightfully thank her for her efforts, she downplays it as simply doing the right thing and not something anyone needs to thank her for.

And when the WoL finally beats Zenos and Ala Mhigo finally becomes free, do you know what she says?

“You beat [Zenos], after all. You’re the real hero of this story. So run along and take your plaudits!”

How media illiterate does someone have to be to think that THIS is a character who’s “stealing credit”?

So no, Lyse Hext did not “steal credit” from your WoL. In fact, your WoL honestly just sounds like a delusional, self-important prick.

“Lyse didn't earn being the leader of Ala Mhigo/ the Resistance! It should have been Raubahn or M'naago!”

There are quite a few big issues with this one:

1 - Lyse is NOT the leader of Ala Mhigo, nor is she the leader of the entire Resistance.

Raubahn is.

Raubahn is Ala Mhigo's acting head of state. He's the one who is now the main head of the Resistance, which is the city-state's official military now that the Empire has lost control there.

I can’t even count how many people I’ve seen shouting about how “Raubahn should have been in charge!”, when he already IS in charge. And basically almost NO ONE ever fact checks anyone else on this.

These players are literally accusing Lyse of stealing a position she doesn’t have from a man who is, in fact, already in said position.

It’s wild.

2 - Lyse is currently the commander of the Resistance troops at Rhalgr’s Reach in the Fringes. That’s it.

The story makes it very clear that the Resistance was originally not headed by any one leader. There were multiple factions with different leaders, and they didn’t always get along and often had different perspectives on how best to free Ala Mhigo.

For instance, it was the Griffin specific faction of the Resistance, led by Ilberd, that attacked Baelsar's Wall. This branch of the Resistance was not affiliated with Conrad, and in fact, some of Conrad's group and fighters from other groups went to join the Griffin after being taken in by his words.

And because of the slaughter Ilberd purposely led those people into to summon Shinryu, many Ala Mhigans became wary of all factions of the Resistance for a time, even though they weren't necessarily affiliated with the Griffin’s faction.

The Resistance only recently began transitioning into an official military unit, rather that countless factions doing their own thing. Lyse is specifically in command of the group at Rhalgr’s Reach, because that was Conrad’s group. She’s NOT in charge of anyone else’s faction.

My guess as to the current chain of command is that the other factions are still being led by their respective leaders, and that since Raubahn now leads them as a whole, they (including Lyse) fall under his command and answer to him.

And as I said before, The Rhalgr’s Reach Resistance are not strangers to her, nor is she a stranger to them; she’s been working with and helping them since the end of ARR. It’s only because so many people refuse to acknowledge this that they’re convinced she’d done “nothing”, or that they somehow would see her as unfit.

3 - There are few things as universally annoying in fandom spaces than fans pitting women who are canon friends against each other. And unfortunately, this is exactly what I see happen most of the time with Lyse and M’naago.

Now unlike some of the other things I talk about in this post, I can at least understand some of the frustration regarding these two. After all, M’naago has been with the Resistance for a longer time.

But once again, this ends up tainted by people’s weird obsession with outright vilifying Lyse and everything she does. She’s not some evil schemer trying to usurp M’naago, and M’naago isn’t her bitter rival or victim. They are clearly very close - Lyse referring to her as “Naago” is a big deal in Seeker culture - and their stories on the lodestone makes it pretty clear to me that they care far more about each other and working to save their homeland than titles and mantles of leadership.

Honestly, I think a lot of people like to forget how much Lyse tried to reject becoming a leader. She was constantly comparing herself to others, and as a result, she considered herself unworthy of such a role and convinced herself it was something you needed a natural talent for. She was the one who insisted that being related to Curtis and Yda wasn’t enough to make her a good leader. It was only when she accepted her own limitations and imperfections that she finally accepted that role. She had to sort her own personal feelings out before she was ready to take on that responsibility.

One of the things I love about Lyse is that she’s a wonderfully flawed character; she has a lot of doubts, but she is trying her best to improve herself, instead of constantly wondering if she’s living up to someone else’s legacy. She’s not a Warrior of Light, or a decorated Archon. But she’s passionate, determined, and always willing to learn from others while she tries to become who she wants to be. In my eyes, that’s what Conrad’s talking about when he tells her she can become a leader. And regardless of what anyone else says, I enjoyed watching her start to come into her own.

“Lyse is a White Savior.”

This issue is much more complex than the other things I’ve brought up here. So I want to start out by making some things clear from the start.

As a black woman, I think one of the only well-founded criticisms regarding Lyse is her pale completion compared to her father Curtis, whose skin is much darker. Colorism is a serious and ongoing issue in entertainment media industries. It’s my belief that Lyse’s character design is a perfect example of that issue. And we as a fandom should absolutely acknowledge and criticize it.

However, I also disagree strongly with anyone who refers to Lyse as “a white savior”.

To provide some background information, “white savior” is a term connected to the long history of white people colonizing, oppressing, and denying agency to non-white people. Its concept originates from the racist ideology known as “The White Man's Burden” (named after a pro-imperialism poem), which falsely claims that white people are morally obligated to "save" people of color from themselves and their "savagery", thus justifying their colonization and cultural genocide. It’s also recognized as a common trope in media, where a white person - usually a white man displaced from white society - is made into the leader or liberator of a group of people of color, thus making said white person the focus of a story that doesn’t actually affect them the way it affects the marginalized.

There are two main reasons why I disagree with calling Lyse a white savior:

1 - Like I’ve already said, I 100% think Lyse’s character design is flawed. But something that’s very important to note here is that Ala Mhigo/Gyr Abania is not a homogeneous society some players seem to think it is.

Like a lot of the other regions in Eorzea, Gyr Abania has a diverse mixture of the world's fantasy races, including Hellsguard Roes, Seeker of the Sun Miqo'te, and both Highlander and Midlander Hyurs. But Gyr Abania is also not homogeneous when it comes to skin color. There are characters and NPCs throughout the Gyr Albania areas with varying skin tones. Some are fair, some are dark, and some are somewhere in between.

The problem with Lyse’s character design is that she’s suspiciously fair skinned despite being the daughter of a clearly dark-skinned man.

But what I tend to see people turn that into is “Lyse is too fair skinned to be Ala Mhigan”.

Fordola is fair skinned. M’hahtoa, M’naago’s mother, and several other members of the M Tribe are fair skinned. There are multiple NPCs across the Gyr Abanian maps that have fairer skin (some are named/can be spoken to, while others are unnamed/background NPCs).

I don’t think I’ve ever seen these characters brought up when people start talking about Ala Mhigan ethnicities. Maybe someone out there has and I simply missed it. But as far as I can remember, I’ve only seen Ala Mhigan skin tones brought up when someone is calling Lyse, and no one else, “too pale to be Ala Mhigan”. It doesn’t work to make this claim because Ala Mhigan is not a race; it's a nationality which is made up of multiple races, and those races seem to have varied skin tones based on what we see in the actual game.

Now remember, this is in no way a recant of my stance. I think Lyse should be closer in skin tone to her father. But the white savior label doesn’t work in this context because despite the problems with her design, Lyse is an Ala Mhigan refugee; not some random foreigner coming into Gyr Abania with no understanding of their history and plight. It’s not enough to claim she’s “too pale to be Ala Mhigan”, because Ala Mhigo/Gyr Abania isn’t homogeneous like that.

2 - When it comes to white saviorism, there’s a very specific privilege and ignorance that comes with it. The reason why it’s offensive is because it makes a white person the focus of a situation that they can’t and don’t truly understand. A story’s white savior - whether consciously or unconsciously - symbolizes white ego and narcissism. And frankly, I do not think that was ever the intention of Lyse’s story.

There’s a big difference between a white savior’s intrusion into a foreign country and a refugee returning to their homeland after many years. While only Lyse’s early years were spent in Ala Mhigo, she is not completely removed from it like people seem to think she is. It’s very clear she remembers her time there, and has clear memories of life with her father and sister.

She was only five when Yda got her out - right at the start of the Garlean occupation - and because of this, she initially doesn’t know how to convince other Ala Mhigans that the fight for their home is still worth it. Her love and hope for a better Ala Mhigo is mistaken for ignorance, because many have been so worn down by the loss and bloodshed that it’s considered suicide to fight back anymore.

Stormblood does a great job of showing how imperialism wears down its victims. The hopelessness felt by many in Ala Mhigo and Doma is the result of years of violence, abuse, and cruelty, and that’s exactly the imperials’ intention; an oppressor wants to break the will and spirit of the oppressed as much as they can, conditioning them to normalize their mistreatment in order to diminish threats to their control.

Characters like Fordola also help show how imperialists manipulate the oppressed to work against their own best interests. All of Fordola’s actions are driven by the misguided idea that working with the Empire would “free” Ala Mhigo. She was convinced that as long as she fought and killed for them, she’d eventually prove that Ala Mhigans are worthy of the Garleans’ respect. But that was never going to happen. It was a tactic to indoctrinate young Ala Mhigans and maintain the imperial status quo. And sadly, Fordola fell deep into that trap.

This is the real cause for Lyse’s initial disconnect. It’s not because of privilege or bias, or a lack of personal connection to Ala Mhigo. It’s founded on the fact that she simply hasn’t experienced the Empire’s relentless tyrannical tactics the same way those who remained in Gyr Abania have.

But this doesn’t mean she hasn’t dealt with loss and fear. Both her father and sister were killed by the Garleans. She’s experienced displacement and having to flee from your home to survive. She’s lost comrades and close friends while with the Scions. This isn’t some naive little girl who doesn’t know the pain that comes with battles and war.

The biggest challenge for the main cast of Stormblood wasn’t just physically fighting the Garleans. It was about a shared sense of pain and loss, and trying to break through the hopelessness the people of Ala Mhigo and Doma were feeling.

Lyse, the WoL, and the other characters aren’t doing what they do for glory. They’re not claiming to know better than the Ala Mhigans and Domans. They’re not trying to take their agency away. They’re trying to convince them to take back their own agency and futures from the Garleans. It’s about understanding their pain, their loss, and their fear, and trying to help them rediscover the strength to keep fighting for themselves. At least that’s what it was to me.

And speaking of the Garleans, it’s wild how I don’t see more people bring up their similarities to white saviorism.

So many Garleans refer to non-Garleans as “savages” and treat them as second class citizens in the provinces.

They insist that their societies and faiths are “primitive”, and that this justifies their invasions and conquests.

They outlaw cultural and religious practices and force their own practices in their place, all under the guise of “civilizing” conquered people and saving them from themselves.

They propagandize themselves as selfless heroes, and people like the WoL as the monstrous villains. “We’re simply trying to rescue these poor, deluded “savages” from themselves and their eikons. Why are you mad?”

And when people fight back and reject them, the Empire plays victim. Take Varis for instance; during that meeting with the Alliance, he targets the very valid issues the Eorzean nations have. But that’s not because he actually cares about fixing those problems; he’s literally just gaslighting them and trying to justify Garlemald’s false sense of supremacy.

It’s all right there. It’s literally a perfect fictional example of the racism, narcissism, and backwards logic of imperialism.

Yet somehow, I’ve see Lyse, an Ala Mhigan refugee, called a “white savior” more often than Garlean imperials.

It’s frustrating, to say the least.

~~~

Well, these are pretty much all the main accusations I’ve seen thrown at Lyse since I’ve started the game. If I think of anything else, or if someone gives me something else to look at, I will add on to this.

I don’t know if I’m changing any minds with this, or even if anyone even has the time or patience to read through this whole post. But it’s feels good to finally write out a lot of my thoughts on this subject after so long. I’d like to do this on more subjects relating to FFXIV, including ways I think certain parts of story could have been improved.

But that’s or another day. Thanks so much for reading ~

[tonguetiedraven]

how do you feel about yukio? most bonrin seem to hate him?

Sorry this one took me a while to answer. Had to get my thoughts straight. So, without further ado:

*gets ready to step on a lot of toes*

Let me start by saying this blog and blogger supports Yukio. You can dislike any character you want, of course, but I won't respond to hate on him. Poor guy gets a lot of that, and I am extremely grateful he isn't an actual person, because there is no way Yukio would survive all the hate and vitriol sent his way if he was an actual person. When you consider the hate he gets and the fact that he is one of the most self-loathing, depressed, and suicidal characters in the manga... it just breaks my heart.

Yukio is, in my opinion (which you're free to disagree with) an extremely well written character, and (again, in my opinion) a sympathetic one. He is one of the best portrayals of a depressed and suicidal character I've seen in manga/anime, and I am so hopeful for the next arc of the manga that he gets some healing from all of that. He's spent most of his life without the proper support he needed (I adore Shirou, but will never agree with the path he chose for Yukio, even if I understand why he did it) and with very little, if any, actual mental/emotional support. Rin wants to help him and love him, but because of the secrets and roles thrust upon them, that wasn't much of an option until very recently, and trusting someone with all of that -- especially if you're already severely depressed and self-loathing -- is not an easy thing to just start doing. If you've spent your life keeping things to yourself, you can't just turn that off.

Especially if one of the things you hate most about yourself is weakness.

In my opinion, a lot of the hate comes from people who have never really done a lot of looking at Yukio as a character. They just see him as someone who was mean to Rin (who in their opinion, never did/does anything wrong) without ever looking at what might have led him down that road.

(It also makes me worry about how they would respond to real life people with depression or suicidal tendencies, and hope desperately that they're more understanding and gentle.)

Yukio has also been a self-destructive character for a while now, and as tends to be the case with self-destructive characters, his destruction tends to spread around to others. (Sorry Rin) He's trying to make the world a better place by getting rid of the corruption around him, and unsurprisingly, it's not going well because this boy with all his self-loathing, also doesn't want to drag anyone else down with him, so he's typically a loner with his actions and plans. His own life isn't worth anything to him, so he's reckless with it and dangerous because of that.

(Which is where a lot of his conflict with Rin comes from. He just wants it to be over and Rin won't take 'leave me alone' as an answer. Neither is great at listening to the other.)

I like Yukio. I want him to find healing and to realize that he has friends he can trust in (I cannot describe how much I love the little meal the cram group shares after Rin temporarily burned Satan connection. I LOVE how much this manga is about friendship and healing together and 🥲)

At the end of the day, Yukio is a boy who is complicated and a lot of why I like him, and Blue Exorcist, is the complexity. They feel real. They don't always do the right thing, or even the logical thing. They make mistakes and they're messy characters. But Yukio still grabs Rin's arm to save him in a fight, and still tears up when his friends call him by his name and forgive him. Yukio loves penguins, comedy manga, and hates cooking. Yukio runs to his twin to eat lunch so he doesn't have to upset the girls in his class, has a million spare glasses, always refers to his twin (who is ostracized by their society) as niisan (never distancing their relation.) He accepted full responsibility for his twin when he was the younger one, and never questioned doing it even if it meant taking on horrible tasks. He's been able to see demons his entire life, and despite spending his childhood terrified of them, worked hard to become the youngest exorcist ever. He loves and hates, and he's a messy character, and I like him.

So, sorry for the word vomit xD That's my opinion on Yukio.

[teawithdnd]

Steven Universe Changed my Life

So, I've often alluded to my friends that the series Steven Universe literally changed, & arguably saved, my life. I've never gone into the full story, though, merely passing mentions & anecdotes.

It's time for the full story.

Allow me to take you back to the year 2016. It almost feels hard to believe that was 6 years ago now. Let me introduce you to a 14 year old boy by the name of Keller. A young man who had been losing his way in the world, or at least that's what he thought.

I don't wish to bring up anything that might harm anyone, yet I do need to allude to 2016's news cycle, as it also is essential to this story. That was the first year he truly paid attention to the news, & all he saw was anger, hatred, & bigotry. At a point just two years prior, he might have, even passively, agreed with the xenophobic vitriol being spewed.

However, he was entering his phase of rebellion, & seeing the hatred come from an authority figure, & knowing that some of his family members agreed with it caused something to snap within him. He needed an outlet, a release; one which didn't come until early July of that same year.

Sadly, he did still feel some hatred from his teenage sense of superiority, primarily directed towards children's cartoons. As such, Keller ate up Worst Modern Cartoon Lists, but would occasionally watch a Best Cartoon List. That, my friends, is where he found something entirely different to what he had known, yet still similar enough. A musical action cartoon called Steven Universe.

The first thing he watched from the series was Stronger Than You, unfortunately ruining the Garnet reveal, yet he was happy to have seen that first, because it introduced him to something new: the idea of, not even a healthy one, but just a same-sex relationship within media, & that changed his world.

As a minor tangent, Keller had been raised a Christian in a homophobic household, yet had been drifting from his religion, due the unfortunate connection that is easily made between homophobic & transphobic sentiment & Christianity. This was the same year he renounced his religion, but that is a much longer story, one for another day.

Ruby & Sapphire, a lesbian couple, being shown in such a healthy manner, was unique to him at that point, having not seen The Legend of Korra at the time.

From this, something clicked in his mind: "Maybe, should this be a healthy portrayal, could that be the norm for all gay couples?" He found the answer to be Yes.

Rubipphire, however, wasn't the biggest revelation for him, however. That, my friends, would be Stevonnie.

Stevonnie was a true anomaly to him at this point: A fusion of a boy & a girl? What could even come of this? An identity new to him: Non-binary.

The idea of using "They" as a neutral pronoun was something he had been doing subconsciously already, but, learning about Stevonnie & non-binary people in general, convinced him that perhaps They was easier to default to.

While her confirmation would come much later, Peridot being Asexual was an excellent revelation for him as well.

At the time that all of this was happening, Keller was slowly losing his hope & love for humanity, yet this series, this one simple series, was what he attributed to him keeping that last sliver of hope.

And then, we have the episode that aired the same day he started watching, July 19th: Mr. Greg. For further context, Keller had been raised on Veggietales, Phineas & Ferb, & Disney films, all musicals. Mr. Greg was the full musical episode, & included what is, even now, her favorite song of the series, It's Over (Isn't it?).

Deedee Magno Hall's vocal performance was unlike anything that had been featured in the series up to that point, & it blew that young man out of the water. Even more so, it was a song of lost love, regret, & tragedy, sung by another lesbian character.

The young man was deep into the theory crafting side of the fandom, always wondering what the next fusion would be, who the next villain would be. One that was objectively wrong, yet one I still find funny, was the idea of Amethyst turning against the Crystal Gems.

Additionally, Steven Universe was one of the few things that made him cry. A series full of emotional moments, with dangerously relatable characters, & a young man going through hormonal mood swings is a surefire equation for tears. Even now, some of those moments still make her tear up. Most notably, Amethyst's breakdown in On The Run.

However, the next moment to truly stick would not come until July 6th, 2019. The final minute of the original series, the final song, Change Your Mind. While something I struggle with, even now, that song's message of self-love is beautiful to me.

Sadly, no revelations would come due to the movie or Future, yet he still enjoyed them greatly.

This is very long & rambly, & for that I apologize. I just wanted to talk about the main reason why this series means so much to me. It guided me through a time in my life where I was without a map, my old one having been torn to scraps.

I know I praised the music several times, but I don't think I can say enough good about it. aivi & surasshu & Rebecca Sugar all did amazing work. I cannot saw how often I get some of the songs stuck in my head, & I always smile, because they remind me of my first steps on my journey to who I am now, & who I will be tomorrow.

As a final aside, what an irony that Stevonnie was the first character I recognized as non-binary, & 2.5 years later, I started self identifying as non-binary. Of course, I used He/They at that point, yet that, too, is a story for another day.

I had planned to put this out on the 19th, yet I finished it in the course of a single night. Perhaps I neglected some things, &, in such case, edits will be made, lol.

Thank you for reading my mini-essay. May you take pleasure in your own journey.

Blessed Be, Paige. 💖💖

[septembersghost]

hey jess, may I ask what's made you feel more hesitant to share things and if you have any ideas to overcome it? you've seriously been one of the sources of comfort since the darkness and ugliness of November and I feel bad that you're struggling to feel like you have a place now but I understand because being around fandom and seeing how it's tearing the story and characters apart is depressing me a lot. you're not alone and we do love you x

hi honey! of course, though I'm not sure I can articulate it entirely because it's more emotional and likely me being my anxious-ridden, sensitively prone self.

there's quite a bit of fandom (on every side) that I vehemently disagree with and that simply does not align with my perception of the canon and the characters, their strengths and roles and depth and meaning, and it's gotten quite a lot worse since November, partially because the varying factions have become so vitriolic. it's difficult for me because, as I know I've said ad nauseam at this point, I've been here from the very beginning (loved you from the very first day!) and have seen many permutations of fandom drama and issues, along with the consistent downward spiral of the show, but sunk cost fallacy mixed with devotion and formative attachment meant I never could quit or let it go, not when in so many ways it was my home and source of...comfort? that's such an odd word to use for spn, but I've written so much about Dean being that talisman and light and strength across a span of years where I lost so much and struggled with a continual rotating list of pain and mourning in various forms. having that source of bravery and reminder to keep doing my best and fighting forward and holding onto even the smallest glimmer of courage was always everything. was always a constant.

anyone who's been with me long knows that November was a SIGNIFICANT grief and sort of incomprehensibly painful and beyond explanation. that it was a very real hurt and it remains so. the wound scars over but then easily breaks again - I can still cry about it or lose it in rage over it at any given moment (me at my dear and trusted friends who have patiently and kindly sat and listened to me vent and scream and sob over this, and have often joined me in doing so, for months...I am very fortunate to have the most amazing people tbh). it's never going to heal entirely, it slots too closely into my heart and things that have happened, over that entire span of my adult life.

edited to add: someone on my dash just said this on another topic, but it is so relevant I'm going to quote her - "maybe i’m just a really earnest person, but it’s exhausting to have to find a way to be witty or make something that you love smaller so you don’t feel uncool for loving it." exactly this. I'm sincere in the love I have for things and that is very much an aspect here.

I thought there'd be some coalescence, but there hasn't been. instead, there's a lot of fighting and sneering and retreating to toxic corners to twist and warp the characters and their journeys in ways I don't recognize or understand. (I don't mean fun memes and witty humor, because that's enjoyable, but the parts of fandom that openly despise the characters and tear them down confuse me. what do they get out of this?) it's very equal-opposite reaction, where sides are just insecurely reacting and cruelly lashing out at one another because there's this idea that it's a competition someone can win? (NOBODY WON, BABES. EVERYONE LOST. *insert that gif of ~it's bad writing~*)

I can't reconcile that any more than I can reconcile the utter destruction of canon. I'm constantly seeing these baffling takes where Dean's an abuser or Dean's repressed or Dean thrives on violence alone or Dean is incapable of love and empathy except when he's taught it (by Sam or Cas, take your pick) or Dean doesn't know himself/have any self-perception/awareness except when he's forced to confront it, which...is the exact ANTITHESIS of what Dean represented. which Sam and Cas themselves told us! and yes, I am most protective of him. I am most enraged and agonized about him. but Sam and Cas aren't faring any better in the bizarre way fanon is treating them in many cases, either. (Sam as a pathetic victim who only ever wanted to be normal and had to be free of his brother...I've ranted about this before, but WHO IS HE? I don't know him! and it's such an INSULT to characterize him that way.)

I genuinely do not care what people ship or what people do as long as they're not harassing/bullying each other, but the consuming nature of the ship wars is decimating the characters that existed and that's burdensome to watch happen and be powerless against it. there's also this...cynical, mocking view of the story - like participating in it, but with a lot of shame and hatred? much of which is taken out on Dean, and I don't only mean the so-called "criticals," I see takes from people who claim to like him that still blow my mind with how undermining and mean-spirited they are, or how narrow-minded they are (in regards to his arc, his childhood and parentification, his central role, and also in regards to his identity, sexuality, and some of the narrative coding as I have always beheld it).

I talk a lot about gothic horror and fascination of dark, complex themes and multitudes of characterization, because all of that is valuable and interesting to me, but there's this reductive sense that repellent darkness was all they were or all they had and I...can't view them like that. a key component of gothic horror and gothic Romance is also the SUBLIME. it isn't all the grit and the gore alone, it's also the profound beauty.

it feels like losing pieces of him, and of all of them, over and over again. watching fandom shred them to ribbons is hard. I stay because I...don't want to abandon them. I don't want to leave them to curling ash. I don't want to let the vultures pick over those bones. I want to remember them and their loved ones as vibrant and alive and TRYING, always trying, to persevere and help whenever they can. I want to remember Dean as standing up, no matter how bloody, defiant and resilient and shining, flash of that grin on his face, knowing that the fight matters because in the midst of violence is an unwavering sense of strength and compassion. I want to remember them striving for the light and knowing that maybe the blaze of glory will come, but that it never takes their agency, their souls, the transcendence they could find despite it all. it's tough to feel that so powerfully while also constantly battling the tide of it being drowned out on many other sides.

nothing will ever shake my love for him or my firm belief in everything I've written before, that I've written for nearly sixteen years - that Dean represented humanity, its glimmering, inspiring facets and its unexpected dangerous edges and its sorrowful depths and its beating heart, always. that Dean provided home, but also that he suffered from being that coveted object. that Dean was the beloved - pulse, anchor, sun - or weapon and soldier, depending on what was required of him, and that he restructured his identity and reclaimed his truth and foundational self over and over again. that is an inextricable part of me. it remains, an undying blossom.

all that said, the corner I carved out for safety and love seems to become smaller each passing day because of a lot of the unfortunate negative things that have taken hold, and for me there's also that constant nagging fear of my time running out and not knowing how much longer I can be here and just desperately trying to cling to what I can. I miss him like I'd miss any real loved one. I've mourned him that way too. I don't care if that's irrational, or silly, it's the absolute truth of how it has felt. the things I've posted here about disenfranchised loss and about that love being so meaningful and real, I stand by all of it.

I am so sorry you're hurting and feeling depressed and some discomfort too. the only advice I can give is for you to find the good pieces you can and hold onto what the story means most to you. maybe branch out a little into other passions too? I've done that here lately and it's been a source of solace in itself - it's not giving spn up or distancing from it, just giving yourself moments of breathing room and enjoyment of other things! also, if you have friends here you can talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out to them! my friends have been EVERYTHING to me, there will never be enough I can say or enough gratitude I can give for the support and consolation, and enlightenment and empathy, they've given me, or how much I love them. it truly does help not to be alone. it helps to hear that from you and I am so, so grateful for it. you can always reach out to me, as long as I'm here (nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around!), I NEVER mind listening and will be here for your feelings and to lend any understanding I can, any time. all we can do is hold on and keep remembering what it meant to us. all we can do is hold onto one another too.

thank you for being with me. my peace is helping people. that echoes in me every day. I love you right back, like I love them, eternally.

[agent-cupcake]

Hey AC! I love your blog and was wondering if I could get your opinion on something. I've seen some people complaining that Ingrid and Hilda are treated by the fandom, with Ingrid stans saying that Hilda is also racist towards Almyrans (which, granted, she is) but doesn't get nearly as much hate about it as Ingrid does. But personally I feel like their attitudes and the way they react towards Dedue/Cyril are wildly different and Hilda generally seems less hateful/irrational about it. Thoughts?

This is... kind of a touchy topic... I like it though! It’s worth discussing, especially since I feel like it’s broke criticism to simply deflect blame onto a character in order to prop up another.  Full and obvious disclosure: I very much dislike Ingrid and very much love Hilda. That said, I don’t think it’s fair to compare them for the sake of which is worse. I fall into the trap of character criticism through comparison far too often and it's not really valid unless you can fully explore each character in their own right beforehand. Which is why, while writing this, I came to the conclusion that the ways these two characters are interpreted and the reason people view their racist tendencies differently has far more to do with the characters themselves than their actual beliefs.

From first impressions to subsequent playthroughs, this is pretty much how I feel about Ingrid: she brings up her hatred of the Duscur people and Dedue unprompted and uncontested several times at the very beginning of the game, putting it front and center to her character. This is important, it sets a foundational component for how I could come to view her. According to her introduction, she is honorable and respectful, a model lady knight trope. But, as mentioned, she's really racist. Literally standing around thinking about how awful it is that Dimitri would trust a man of Duscur because they are all bad people. Yikes. And nobody calls her on it. Again, this is very important for perception. People judge Sylvain for his bad behavior in a much more harsh way than they do Ingrid for her vitriolic loathing for another classmate who we have seen as nothing but respectful. It's weird. And then, despite the fact that her close friend Sylvain was able to reason out that it’s not possible for the Duscur people to be at fault for the Tragedy, despite the fact that the prince of the country she supposedly hopes to serve with unwavering respect and loyalty has made it clear that he does not believe that Dedue or Duscar are responsible for the Tragedy, and despite the fact that Dimitri, her close friend and the one most affected by the Tragedy (seriously, she lost a guy she might have married and he lost his best friend, mother, and watched his father be killed in front of his eyes) continuously insists that neither Dedue nor Duscur are at fault, she loudly and openly believes that the ensuing massacre of Duscur was deserved and Dedue is inherently culpable simply because of his race. Her motivations for this hatred feel even more cheap considering her dogged hero worship for Glenn was born out of the fact that she was promised to him, making the fact that she’d use his death as reason enough for the destruction of countless innocent lives even more unsympathetic in my eyes. I mean, seriously, she was around 13 and he was older than her, how close could they have truly been? Dimitri says they were in love, but she was a child. Abandoning my modern sensibilities about age of consent or whatever, kids at that age don't have the emotional or mental capability. Maybe this is just nitpicking, but I have a very hard time caring about that relationship. But, if her actual justification is because of what happened to Faerghus as a result of the Tragedy and feels duty-bound as a knight to find justice through the systematic destruction of the Duscur people, then it just circles back to confusion considering the future leader of said country doesn't hold Duscur or Dedue responsible. The importance of perception comes in because despite these paper thin excuses and her seemingly willfully ignorant hatred, she is never challenged on her racist beliefs. The reason she seems to change her mind about Dedue and consider that maybe excusing a genocide is wrong stems from guilt that Dedue continuously comes to her aid in battle at the potential cost of his own life. I can understand, to a certain extent, why she might feel the way she does. But, again, I have such a hard time with any justification when nobody that she's close to is even nearly as hateful as her, there is plenty of evidence (evidence that the people close to her have found!) to provide a very reasonable counterclaim to Duscur's guilt, and that none of that even matters when it would require her to openly contradict the prince of her country to make the claim that Dedue was in any way complicit in the Tragedy. Which would be fine if she wasn't established as the model Lady Knight archetype, which also brings us into Ingrid's moral high horse. Admittedly, I hate the Lady Knight trope. I have a significant bias against these types of characters. However, I really do think that this moral crusade is where she lost me completely. Without even a shred of empathy or self awareness, she lectures Sylvain about his shitty behavior even though their circumstances are at least somewhat similar and he has his reasons (bad ones, maybe, but ones worth understanding if she actually cares about him), she lectures Felix about not being interested in knightly endeavors (an aspect of his character that is born of the trauma she has appropriated), and she lectures Claude about behavior that is befitting of a man in his position. Not because she cares about the girls Sylvain is hurting, not because she thinks there are any grave stakes from Felix choosing to do his own thing, and not because she knows that Claude's behavior affects his ability to lead, but because she doesn't like these behaviors and thinks they should be fixed. Yet, at the same time, she believes Dedue deserved to lose his family, country, and culture based on his birth and nobody ever does anything to morally correct her, it is something she eventually is forced to acknowledge on her own. It's frustrating, infuriating even, that the game lets her get away with being so grossly hypocritical. And, all the while, she is being painted as sympathetic. Again, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for her about Glenn, and I certainty don't feel sympathetic towards her issues about marriage because there's never any actual tension there. Of course she won't be forced to marry, she's a Lady Knight. Beyond being unsympathetic, I also find her massively unlikable. Awful design, poor voice direction, food-loving-as-a-personality-trait, the fact that she's written as one of those stock "feminist" characters who hate makeup and girly things until it benefits them, and constantly butting in on other characters to give her opinion without taking any criticism herself are all aspects that I just personally dislike. Ultimately, Ingrid being racist is only a symptom of the many reasons her character is one of my least favorites. Most of these points can be countered by someone who doesn't take issue with the things that annoy me and to point out that Ingrid DOES get over her racist beliefs. It's not fair to say that she doesn't change but, for me, the damage was already done by the time she became tolerable so I still have a hard time appreciating her. My assumption would be that there are a lot of other people who feel similarly to me regarding their dislike of Ingrid so they focus on one easy character flaw, her being racist at the beginning of the game, as a reason to validate their dislike of her overall.

On the other hand, Hilda's racism isn't a main trait of her character. It's related to her overarching character flaws, but she doesn't bring it up unprompted and can actually be pretty much missed without the Cyrill supports. Like you said, Hilda does seem less hateful and irrational, it doesn't take willful malice and an active rejection of reason for Hilda to dislike the Almyrans, they pose a genuine and provable threat to her family and territory, seemingly senselessly testing the borders and throwing away lives for the sake of conquest. To be clear, her "you're not like those OTHER Almyrans" schtick is legitimately nasty. Her behavior is gross and condescending and it really underscores the fact that Hilda is ignorant, lazy, inconsiderate, and incredibly comfortable in her privilege. She accepts what she's been told at face value because she's too lazy to look into it further. Cyrill does tell her she's stupid to think that way, though. Which is satisfying because Hilda in those supports is insufferable, it really highlights the worst aspects of her character, dismissive, manipulative, and very selfish. However, for me, she's also very likeable. I'm not interested in going over my opinions on her like I did with Ingrid as I don’t feel it’s as important to my point but a few reasons I really like her is because I think Hilda has a fantastic design, cute supports, amazing voice work, and is secretly sweet in a way that absolutely tickles my fancy. I am sure many people do not agree with me, which is fine. Additionally, just as Ingrid grows out of her racist beliefs, so does Hilda. They both end the game as more tolerant and caring people. Still, for the same reason a person could argue that Ingrid is actually great and I'm being unfair, they could argue that Hilda is terrible and I'm too biased. That's fair and true..... but I think the fact that Hilda is more generally appealing in conjunction with the less obvious nature of her racist attitude makes people less likely to dismiss her as a racist in the same way they do Ingrid. Unless they dislike Hilda, in which case, it’s all fair game.

Anyyyways, a main takeaway from this is that I highly doubt people are truly arguing on the individual basis of who's more racist, but that they're engaging in the age old waifu war. As with many characters in this game, it's easier to argue moral superiority when you can't quite articulate what you like or don't like about a character. Or, even worse, when you're arguing opinion. Even now, as is clear by reading this, I am arguing my opinion of why I don't like Ingrid. Not because she's racist, but because of the character traits and writing choices that make her unlikable to me. I like Hilda because, flaws and all, I find her to be compelling and enjoyable. From the people that I know, at least, that is basically how the Ingrid stans v Hilda racism argument is structured, even if they dress it up in different language.

By the by Hilda never talks about how the Almyrans deserve to be wiped out. I think that probably sours a lot of people's opinions of Ingrid no matter what happened afterward but that’s fine we can just pretend that didn’t happen

[fedonciadale]

Hi there! I'm a SanSan shipper who messaged you once before, and you were very kind in your response. I hope you won't mind me messaging you again about something I see often in your reblogs about SanSan (I'm not saying it's something you've personally said, just something I see a LOT): namely, that all the shippers are really just Hound stans in disguise who don't care about (or worse, hate) Sansa and just want her as a trophy for our fave. This is categorically untrue.

There may be some vocal shippers to whom this applies, but it most certainly doesn't apply to all or even most of us. Many of us actually prefer Sansa over Sandor (I would know, being one of those shippers). Even many SanSans who love Sandor the most also genuinely love Sansa too! One character in a ship being your FAVE doesn't mean you can't truly care about the other character too.

I don't know where this idea came from that all SanSan shippers hate Sansa, and why it's become so accepted as a fact among Jonsas (I don't say "Jonsas"  in a hostile way, as I enjoy shipping Sansa with Jon too), but it's way off the mark. So many of us love Sansa, and it bothers me to see us accused of hating her by other Sansa fans, just because we ship her with a character you don't like, or because we foresee a different endgame for her than you do.

I know Sandor is an awful person; I know the ship is deeply problematic. But I still love him as a character and still enjoy shipping Sansa with him, because it's fiction. Jaime and Theon are (were, in the latter's case) also awful people with a history of treating women terribly, yet strangely I've never seen the Jonsa fandom accuse Jaimsa and Theonsa shippers of secretly hating Sansa and only wanting to punish her and "get her out of the way for their real faves." I also love a QITN endgame for Sansa, but I think she could be happy living a quiet life in a small holdfast outside of the North, too. Many SanSan shippers feel the same. You don't have to agree with us, you don't have to understand why we like the pairing, but us shipping Sansa with someone /you/ dislike, or envisioning a different endgame for her than /you/ do, doesn't mean we hate her or that we're not "true" Sansa fans like you are. It just means we see her differently.

I know it won't happen (the vitriol against SanSan shippers in this part of the fandom is too great), but I would really love to see an end to this attitude that anyone who doesn't ship Sansa with a very short list of preapproved characters, or anyone who sees an endgame for her other than QITN, is just a lying Sansabut who really HATES Sansa and wants to punish her. It's unfair and inaccurate.

Sansa, just like everyone and everything else in the series, is open to interpretation and to being enjoyed in different ways and for different reasons. No part of the Sansa fandom has a monopoly on loving her and being the only true fans.

(I would also like to acknowledge that I do know the negative stereotypes go both ways. SanSan may be my OTP, but I like Jonsa too, and I have definitely messaged one or two SanSans about inaccurate statements they've made about Jonsa shippers).

Hi there!

I agree with you in principle that we probably shouldn’t generalize all shippers of a certain ship, because obviously we don’t know these persons and their reasons for shipping.

For my answer I would like to differentiate, to explain better how this idea came about and maybe explain to you why Jonsa shippers might come to the conclusion that SanSan shippers do not care much about Sansa. Under the cut for length

a) There is shipping: Someone sees two people and thinks: What an interesting dynamic, I want to explore how these two people could work together. Shipping is not necessarily about ‘nice’ ships. People are allowed to write and read what they want. They can explore toxic ships if only for the reason to write a creepy story. I don’t know their reasons and as far as I am concerned, you can ship about everything as long as you tag accordingly and as long as you do not mix up ‘fluffy’ and ‘toxic’. On the other hand, while anyone can ship what they want, others must be allowed to dislike a ship. Anti tags exist for a reason. Fics and art for shipping in this sense can be from very AU to very closely to canon, sometimes characters are almost unrecognizable. It’s about exploring, letting your imagination play etc. Sometimes it's about improving canon, because canon sucked.

b) There is canon-shipping: In this case, people think they know where character’s arc lead to and they are excited about this because they want these characters together for various reasons, sometimes because they are happy to have guessed where the story goes, sometimes because they think these people are a good option for each other and sometimes because they like one character especially and want this character to have the best (it happens).

c) There is seeing where a story goes and being neutral about it (or even disliking it). This is not shipping, it’s rather guessing where the story goes.

d) There is liking a character, because you think the character is sympathetic, you think they are relatable, you vibe with them.

e) There is appreciating a character, because you think they are well written, you like the depth the author has given them, maybe you love to hate them.

and finally f) there are ideas about how important a character is for the story in general.

So, now I can only talk about me and where my difficulties lie.

I canon-ship Jonsa: I think this is where the story goes, I like both characters as in like-like, I think they would be good for each other and that is why I want them to be together in canon. I am excited about this ship because I think I have figured out part of the story and because I think they would be good for each other (well not Jon from season 8, but I've wiped season 8 from my mind).

So, in theory, I can ship Sansa with anyone who makes her happy, I read an AU and crossover with Sansa and Eomer just because I think he would be good for her and I liked it. I don't really ship Jon with anyone else, but in a way this is how I ship. With my ships I can usually see the one person with others that make her happy, but not the the other. I decided that Sansa is just the best for Jon and that's it.

Now, as for SanSan. Again I cannot talk about others and their reasons to dislike the ship. Imho, as long as it's about shipping I couldn't care less. I don't know the reasons people have for shipping them. I would never read a fic, because of the reasons I will explain in a moment, but nobody forces me to see it. I blacklisted the tag and that's it.

Now, let's go into the territory of canon. The fandom has unearthed some hints about SanSan. I don't want to go into detail here. I've talked about this on my blog several times. I think the hints are misinterpreted or do not point towards SanSan but towards Jonsa (like the Beauty and the Beast trope). What I get from the hints in the book is that the Hound will probably die for either Sansa or Arya in a single act of chivalry. You can read this as romantic, but I don't think you have to. To me this story is more about Sansa and the magic that is in her singing and her kindness than about the Hound and his “redemption.” So, this is not shipping, but guessing where the story will go.

That is obviously my interpretation of the books of ASOIAF and of course it is connected to how I see the characters. I like Sansa, and I really, really dislike the Hound, and although I can appreciate what GRRM did with his character, he’ll never reach the level of “I love to hate him”. So, I’m definitely not villain-stanning the Hound.

To me that means that I could never ever canon-ship SanSan as in “I want them to be together”. I think their relationship in the books is depicted as toxic and abusive (not to mention that the Hound is a grown man and Sansa a teenager) and I don’t want Sansa with a character I don’t like, a character who lusts after a teenager, and I don’t think the Hound is even important enough to end up with one of the mains. He is a fully fleshed out, but he is a secondary or even only tertiary character, not more.

Now, obviously I am not GRRM, but if he would take the story to SanSan I would hate him for it - I would hate him for it because it would either mean that he a) takes a deeply problematic relationship and romanticizes it or b) that he has an unhappy end for Sansa in mind.

Maybe, you do see, where I am getting with this?

I think it is possible as you say that SanSan shippers like both characters, and I think it is possible to ship them (not my cup of tea, but after all it’s ship and let ship).

What I cannot understand, not at all, is canon-shipping SanSan as in “I want them to be together and they’ll be ever so happy” in the books. Canon-shipping SanSan means blowing up a secondary/tertiary character’s importance, it means romanticizing a highly problematic relationship, that has abuse, mistreatment, violence and pedophilia. It means putting Sansa with an asshole. I cannot wrap my head how that could in any way become less problematic, even if the Hound made a 100% turn. I cannot wrap my head around people who want Sansa - a character they like - with a man that would be decidedly bad for her.  And this is where my suspicion about SanSans comes from. I just don’t see how you can like Sansa, as in like-like, and at the same time want her with a brutal, violent man who lusted after her as a teenager. So this is where the suspicion comes from.

I want Sansa with someone who is good for her. Since there are only very few characters in ASOIAF who are nice and I ship Sansa with happiness, there are only a few options I can ship. And canon is too prevalent in my head for me to just ignore it and ship Sansa with someone I dislike in a complete different AU. I cannot overlook canon in that regard. For ASOIAF my shipping preferences are defined by canon.

I suppose this is not what you wanted to hear, but you also wanted my opinion and an explanation.

As for Sansa as Queen, I think that the foreshadowing is all over the books and I honestly can’t see how anyone cannot see that this interpretation has a sound basis. And we’ve seen enough Sansa antis to ridicule that notion.

Thinking Sansa might not become Queen in the North doesn’t make you a Sansa anti but there are enough Sansa antis out there who say that it will never happen. So, I side-eye anyone who claims that Sansa will never be Queen because this opinion takes them into close proximity to real Sansa antis. So, yes, it makes me suspicious.

So, as far as shipping goes, I say: Ship and let ship.

As far as the interpretation of canon goes, SanSan is not a thing nor should it be a thing and if GRRM goes there - I don’t think he will, he said, that the ship surprised him - , it won’t be a happy ending for Sansa.

I hope, I explained in such a way, that you can understand - at least where I come from and maybe some of my fellow Jonsa shippers and why we are suspicious.

It’s not directed against you, nor against the rule of “ship and let ship”. It’s how I see the character of the Hound, GRRM’s arcs and Sansa’s character in canon. It’s about how I think canon will go and how I want canon to go. How I think canon will go has a connection to my analysis of the text - which speaks against SanSan being a realistic endgame. And how I want canon to go has much to do with the fact that I like Sansa - which again speaks against SanSan if you look at how both characters are depicted in canon.

How you ship them in your fanon can be and probably is completely and absolutely different.

Thanks for the ask!

[firelxdykatara]

I was the anon who sent the ask about cs, and you actually addressed some of the major arguments i've seen - being with hook turned emma from a strong, independent woman into just a love interest, hook pursued emma with no reciprocated feelings, and that he never really redeemed himself. I've also seen arguments that cs is abusive, which i've seen to some extent in anti-kataang posts. i try not to dive too deep into the anti tag for my own sanity but these are some of the main things i've seen

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok, sorry, i was just caught up in the euphoria of reminiscing about my captain swan feelings that for a moment there i lived in a world where the Anti CS Brigade didn’t exist. but no, yeah, i know exactly what you’re talking about and honestly i think i just......blocked 90% of it from my mind because so many of those arguments were so vitriolic and widespread but also baseless, like...

gods, ok, here we go. anon you have activated my dormant ouat wordvomit processors and idk if i’ll be able to shut up any time soon but i have A Lot Of Thoughts Here, and also a lot of really bad memories cause ye gods, the ouat shipping wars of the days of yore were vicious.

ANYWAY, like, the vast majority of these arguments came from the ‘swan queen nation’, which is where you can trace a lot of super toxic wlw ship stans back to--just for a little context, but clexa and supercorp both had their roots in swan queen, among other ships, but those are the Big Three i always go back to because what they have in common is ‘the main character of the series is explicitly abused/treated horribly by another woman and for some reason the shippers go nuts over this pairing and will insist the show is queerbaiting them if this specific pairing is not made canon’. and swan queen stans, in particular, had it out for captain swan, because they were incredibly insistent about regina and emma being in love, and naturally the existence of emma’s romantic arc with killian threatened that.

as a result, they quite literally made shit up.

it’s funny (not ‘funny ha ha’ but like funny depressing), because a lot of what they accused CS of is actually shit that happened explicitly on screen with regina and emma. they claimed that emma was no longer strong or independent because she fell in love with killian, while ignoring the fact that she’d become a literal doormat for regina’s many abuses (there are so many things regina did to emma even after her alleged redemption which, if she weren’t being so coddled by the narrative, emma would never have let her get away with--like blaming her for saving the life of a woman regina had murdered in the past, or like telling emma to her face that she wanted to tear killian’s throat out because he managed to come back from the underworld while the man regina loved stayed dead) because, for some reason, they interpreted emma being happy and no longer closed off to the people she loved, choosing to let down the walls she’d built up over a lifetime of trauma as her being ‘reduced to a love interest’ which just did not happen.

like, factually, straight up, emma was every bit as badass while dating killian as she was back in season 1. the only difference is, in season 1 emma didn’t trust anyone, she was closed off, she had a million walls built high around her by trauma, and she wasn’t willing to let anyone in because she believed that if she did then she’d only be traumatized again when they inevitably left. by season 4, when she started officially dating killian, many of those walls had come down, she was happier and healthier, she was falling in love and she was letting herself be in love, she had her parents, her son, the whole town full of people she loved. she was fucking happy, but she wasn’t happy with the right love interest, so swan queen shippers insisted they wanted ‘season 1 emma back’. because they would rather emma be miserable so they could interpret her antagonism with regina as closeted gay pining, than have her dare to be happy with a man and a family that didn’t include regina.

as to the other claims, while hook did make his feelings for emma clear once he realized he felt them, the ball was in her court almost completely. he made comments, told her how he felt, said things like ‘when i win your heart, and i will win it, it will be because you want me’ where the clear emphasis was on emma’s feelings--he believed she had some feeling for him, but he wanted anything between them to be because it was what she wanted. emma initiated every explicitly romantic interaction. killian made a flirty comment, which he was wont to do, and which she could easily have brushed off--instead, she grabbed him by the coat and yanked him into a kiss which lasted far longer than it needed to if all she wanted to do was make a point. (sorry, that scene is just burned into the brain of every CS shipper, i know it literally by heart lmfao) he made it clear that if she wanted him he would be there, but i she didn’t he wasn’t going to push her. he followed her through an entire damn portal into the past because he wanted to help her, because he’d go anywhere for her--to the end of the world, or time--but emma was the one who invited him to dinner with her family. emma was the one who noticed he hadn’t come in yet, and went to see him. emma was the one who kissed him, initiating their relationship.

like @storynightlight said in the replies to the last ask you sent, a majority of the important milestones in killian and emma’s relationship were initiated by emma. she was the one constantly progressing their relationship, it went entirely at her pace in large part because one damaged soul recognizes another, and killian had been through enough trauma in his long (long, long) life to understand that emma needed to work things through on her own terms. he wanted to be part of her life, but it had to be when she was willing to let him in. and he was perfectly content to wait for her to be ready.

as far as the ‘abuse’ claims go, that was honestly just straight up fabrication on the part of swan queen shippers mostly, which is intensely ironic considering the state of emma and regina’s ‘friendship’ for literally the entire damn series. most of them referenced things that happened while emma and killian were enemies (they called their sword fight ‘abuse’, which like.... i’m sorry but two people on opposite sides of a violent conflict having a fight is not abuse, and incidentally that’s an argument that zutara gets hit with too, to this day, clearly words don’t actually mean things anymore), and ignored the fact that killian’s behavior changed as his redemption arc progressed. he didn’t become a good upstanding citizen overnight, but he did feel remorse for his prior bad actions and the harm he caused, he went to great lengths to make up for that harm when and where he could, and he tried to be as good a man as he possibly could in later seasons, even when circumstances (like, oh, gold having possession of his heart and using it to control him, which anti CSers also blamed him for, go figure) made that nearly impossible.

meanwhile, as late as season 6, regina was still blaming emma for everything that went wrong in her life. regina happily browbeat emma about everything she ‘stole’ from her for basically the entire series. regina, in the context of their friendship after her alleged redemption, was constantly verbally and emotionally abusive to emma--and yet that behavior was completely overlooked, or deemed ‘pining’ or some other obvious evidence of romantic feelings, by swan queen shippers who would prefer to claim emma was being abused by her caring and loyal boyfriend who constantly believed in her even when she had trouble believing in herself. (incidentally, it truly is incredibly rich of regina stans (and rumple stans, a lot of them say this too) to claim that killian never redeemed himself, when regina is the one with a vault full of hearts she never returned to their proper owners, and regina is the one who murdered someone emma cared about and never confessed to it, let alone apologized for it; graham died in emma’s arms while regina crushed his heart, and it was never once brought up again. regina got away with it scott free, and it is just one on a list of crimes she literally never expressed even the slightest bit of remorse for, let alone tried to atone for. yet killian is the one who ‘never redeemed himself’ mmhmmm ok sure jan.)

I’M SO SORRY ANON, you probably had no idea the can of Worms you were opening with these asks, but CLEARLY i still have a lot of damn feelings about this fucking show lmfao. THANK YOU THOUGH!!! i haven’t talked about captain swan or even really reminisced much in a while, and i miss them a lot, so it was nice to dive back into my Feelings and remember so much of what i loved about them! i may do a rewatch soon >.> it’s ok if i just skip 4b except the finale and then turn it off immediately after emma and killian’s reunion at the end and pretend the entire show ended there, right????

i hope you’re having a good night! thanks again for the asks <33