#i've not tried LSD but would like to

[punisheddonjuan]

So the other day I met [unnamed tumblr mutual] in person for the first time when she came over to the apartment and beyond having a really wonderful afternoon together, she brought over some cannabis edibles because I mentioned that I was thinking about trying an edible to see if it could do anything for my pain levels, but also not wanting anything that even approaching "strong". I'd tried a few CBD only products and they didn't do much. Maybe an edible with THC in it too would actually do something.

Turns out that yes, taking an edible actually does help with pain. It didn't do much of anything for the muscle soreness, but it cut down on the neuropathic pain and dulled the migraine a little. It also dropped my heart rate, lowered my blood pressure and relaxed me, which hey that's all good. The entire experience of using cannabis as an edible is the complete opposite to my experience smoking cannabis. Smoking it, whether as a joint or through a bong, usually only ever made me anxious, put me on edge, and spiked my heartrate. I'm starting to wonder if that's more from the smoking part than the drug part. If the anxiety and spike in heart rate was some kind of inflammatory reaction to smoking. I've had a few nice experiences passing a joint around with friends, but every time I've tried it on my own, it's been bad vibes. I don't "do" drugs, or even drink because I'm always worried it will make me crash or feel worse somehow. So this was a really nice surprise.

[ntls-24722]

Identity Fraud, Recreational Malware and Bad AI art trips

Weird things I've headcanoned DJMM to have done to extend his reach as an animatronic larger than life - and therefore too large to do most things.

One overarching weird thing that I hc DJMM to do is develop this whole government-recognized humansona, to a fake birth certificate and a bank account opened for a guy who Does Not Exist. He's got it in his head that he's going to leave the plex with everyone else one day, but robots are still not legally recognized as people, so to make things easier he's made Darinel Jaramillo Martinez Mendes. He is trying to save up for college with his weird income of getting paid bimonthly by the few human employees still in the Plex to do their job for them while still having them be employed.

He has enrolled in some online programming and robotics though, and that has led to him doing some Interesting things with it.

Like making a weed program

He's made a program that slows down their execution speed by running a bunch of shit, and the user could adjust the time it would run for. He's made specific executions for each animatronic/bot in the plex (minis not included, since... they can't) and had to remove his option from public use because I feel like either a STAFFbot, Monty, or the DCA tried to experience ego death by choosing DJMM's option and literally almost blew up because DJMM has way more cpu cores than everyone else on account of being Enourmous

Very energy-costly however also very relaxing

DJMM's programming stunts don't always go well though.

He attempted to make himself a visual imagination by linking his thoughts into an ai art generator every couple seconds and at first it went well until the DCA made a joke, he laughed, thought about the fact he laughed, and got really unnerved by the image he conjured because the ai generated a man laughing with way too many teeth. But because he got creeped out by it, the ai made an even more horrifying image and this feedback loop lead to him screaming for "it to stop", clawing at his eyes and inconsolably sobbing as it continued and he had to shut it down

He still thought it had some potential so he hooked it up to a generator that made more incomprehensible images like "secret horses" and also put a timer for it like he did for his weed program. Robo LSD!

... I'm not very literate on programming and the like. I'm so sorry for probably getting all of this horribly wrong shdbshsb

[fucktheark]

(some) creepypasta/marble hornets music hcs :)

these are mostly from my own playlist they aren't accurate at all this is just 4 funsies lololol

also i highly doubt anyone will even see this post but if u do drop a song rec plz im struggling finding new music </3

tim (specifically him cs masky is too busy going apeshit 4 music)

old man music but like cool old man music (this is just what my father listens to LOL)

thinks he's got peak taste and snickers at everybody else's song choices

breathe - pink floyd

pet sematary - ramones

the chain - fleetwood mac

aerials - soad

lover, you should've come over - jeff buckley

hoodie

i pulled this out of my ass tbh but imagine 80s fan brian

kinda likes lil peep but would never tell a soul cs he thinks he's too old for it

doesn't rly share his music with anyone bcs he's afraid they're not gonna clown him for it

she's in parties - bauhaus

the brightside - lil peep

the ghost in you - psychedelic furs

messages - a flock of seagulls

hotel california - the eagles (cz y not)

jane

i never rly obsessed over her so this is js based on the vibes i get from the art i've seen of her (so pretty bruh)

echolalia - faetooth

nine while nine - sisters of mercy

closet - fleshwater

engine no. 9 - deftones

frigid and spellbound - spectral wound

nina

no way totally unexpected music

i think eventually she grew out of screamo and scene but never rly let emo go entirely

acid - ghost town

get away with murder - jeffree star (yikes)

what you need - bmth

freaxx - brokencyde (she's been in love with this album since it came out)

vampires will never hurt you - mcr

jeff

i like think that after what he did to his family he just kinda checked out from earth and stopped keeping up with most pop culture, so he's still listening to the same music he did back then.

peak edgy middle schooler vibes

never tires of his playlist

every now and again he comes across something new and gets obsessed with it immediately and probably forever

yen - slipknot

makedamnsure - taking back sunday

don't go - bmth

tourniquet - marilyn manson

crewcabanger - chelsea grin

toby

I-C-P FOREVER WITH THE JUGGALOSSSSSS

still enjoys twiztid even after the beef but secretly because it makes him feel like a poser

also likes jeff buckley but feels kinda cringe for it

the stalker - icp

house of mirrors - icp

my 1st time - dark lotus

2nd hand smoke - twiztid

grace - jeff buckley

liu

same reasoning as jane i know like nothing about this dude and even less about sully so i'm not even gonna attempt .

i fw his vibe tho

eye - smashing pumpkins

the man who sold the world - nirvana

heaven - talking heads

the sickness - imminence (he's gotta be a lil emo come on)

siamese twins - the cure

eyeless jack

this one is kinda hard tbh but considering his hypersensitivity to sound, i feel like he wouldn't enjoy anything too noisy

likes songs with a lot of bass because he can feel the bass reverberating through his body when he wears headphones

soft/airy vocals!!!! he hates screaming

doesn't rly stick with a specific genre just whatever makes his ears tingle lol

a forest - the cure

dark stone - holy fawn

hide and seek #1 - plastic tree

the thing - pixies

collabo - june freedom

BEN

bitch spends so much time on the internet he discovers new music every day

listens to everything but tries to flex the really obscure shit he finds in the depths of youtube (he wants to be cool but it's kind of pathetic.)

his playlist is MASSIVE and a mess, he usually has to skip through half of it before finding something he actually likes

i don't know why but he'd be into haunted mound

plays the majora's mask soundtrack when he can't think of anything to listen to

husqrider - turnabout

fentanylism - opiated devilsperm

starting over - lsd and the search for god

gou zin zan goku - deviloof

ugliest - $uicideboy$

laughing jack

he's old af and probably doesn't get modern music tbh

classical music it is

and opera

i'm not gonna make a whole playlist but he really loves erlkönig because of the story lol

[nebulacritter]

here are some other fandoms i'm in, and i haven't really talked about them.

Some pieces of media haven't been mentioned here, so that's why I'm going to do it right now.

Ratboy Genius

Say all you want about this series. We get that many of you think it's from "the weird part of YouTube", but I think it's strangely adorable in a way. The character concepts are really zany, the plots are cool, and the musical numbers are pretty silly! Ratboy Genius might look souless at first, but you'll see how wonderful it is if you get into it.

Merman in My Tub

This series is actually pretty neat, and no, it's not a BL. The characters are just friends, okay? I've watched the anime, and I've read one book of the manga, and I have to say it's also pretty silly. My favorite characters are Agari the shy shark and Echizen the mean ol' crab. I've always wanted to see an anime or manga where it's about a bunch of monster boys hanging out, so this is the right thing for me!

Mega Man

Ah yes. The Blue Bomber himself. I've known a lot about the classic series, but I love the other incarnations of Mega Man just the same. I love cool robot stuff, so of course would like Mega Man, right? Also, I tried to beat the original Mega Man games one time, but I kept on dying and dying. Poor me.

Yo-Kai Watch

No, it's not a Pokemon clone. Yo-Kai watch is amazing because I think the monster designs can get real imaginative sometimes! I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of a "genwunner" when it comes to this series; I'm not particularly fond of Shadowside or Academy Y, but I do like how Shadowside expands the lore. In my opinion, Yo-Kai watch is more entertaining than Pokemon, and maybe I should play one of its games someday!

Anything Osamu Sato related

LSD Dream Emulator, Eastern Mind, Roly Polys, YOU NAME IT! The works of Osamu Sato are psychedelic and mesmerizing, and I've even listened to a lot of his albums back then.

And thank you for reading all of this stuff.

[apparentabstractions]

Some unstructured thoughts

My reaction to the trend of "AI artists" has been pretty viscerally negative—it's a clear off-shoot of the same Silicon Valley tech bro bullshit that gave us NFTs—but I've also been left grappling with the reality that there are very real similarities between much of my APPARENT ABSTRACTIONS work and images generated by AI. The latter involves someone inputting text and hoping for the best. My edited ROM corruption screenshots require similarly little "effort"—ask a program to inject some junk data or alter a few bytes, then wait for the results. In the end, we both have very little control over the actual output. I often make edits to the shape or color to make mine stand out more, but that's not a tall task either.

Furthermore, both are built off the backs of others' work. I think my only real saving grace here is that the "sources" I pull from are commercial, mass-produced products. Of course video games are an art form, and artists worked to create the graphics which I then ask a program to mangle, but at the end of the day I'm pulling from the works of corporations. Fair game for editing? Fair game for collages and sampling? The music enthusiast in me has always felt that way, at least. I wouldn't have a guilty conscience screencapping and editing something from say, Ninja Gaiden—as opposed to trying the same thing from some DeviantArt user's work. One like myself, maybe. I also illustrate as a hobby, and yeah, I don't want my drawings used in AI training datasets. And these days, it's getting harder to trust the websites we host our work on to protect us.

Maybe the big difference between what I'm making and what "AI artists" are doing comes down to ethos. AA is a project that's been going on for four years now. The works have always been released into the public domain. I just think what I'm doing is cool, and I wish more people would do it. It's not really even about the individual pieces but all of them as a unified gallery. I've always viewed AA as one singular ever-expanding art piece. I think it's why I enjoyed making the Tower Unite gallery so much. Very few "AI artists" ever seem actually interested in art. Or at least, they weren't interested in the concept of "art" until they saw that it could be an easy way to make them popular or rich. But you probably know that already.

We saw it with NFTs, too, though maybe less so percentage-wise—I saw a lot of legitimate artists I admired become grifters. I almost bought a John Karel (jjjjjjjjjjohn, the one with the low-poly skeletons) shirt and now I'm glad I didn't. Mark Vomit, the guy who made that "you are not immune to propaganda" meme, is actually a talented audiovisual producer that I liked a lot. Ironically, he tried making NFTs but threw a fit when no one wanted them and people started making fun of him. I don't think he's tried again since. Probably my biggest disappointment in this field was Osamu Sato—the guy behind LSD: Dream Emulator among a slew of great albums. And don't forget a bunch of musicians who were probably forced to engage with NFTs by their labels. But also, like, 80% of the people making "abstract digital art" like my own started getting into it! I had to unfollow the vast majority of them. At their height, it was so bad that you could just tell someone was probably doing NFTs by looking at their art because it had become so popular with certain cliques—my own included. I started using the "AGAINST CRYPTO / AGAINST NFTS" avatar around that time not just because I wanted to make a bold statement against it, but also because I didn't want people to have to check.

[hirocimacruiser]

Domestic sports model

Supra going to the top

17 inch tires this time

is set as an option

Thanks to that, I've increased my fighting power even more!

Speed ​​wins!

Noko 2

High performance 4WD GTO twin turbo MR. The running has changed to a good and straightforward handling. One run of the counter can be fun.

Anything I Chi Pan

How far have you evolved?

Emergency test drive 14 consecutive shots

Supra 17-inch specification vs GTO MR

(Vehicle with 6 pot calipers)

Amazing stopping power and cornering

performance

Two high-performance machines representing domestic cars have raised their limits one after another. I did a thorough road pre-check of that worrisome run!

REPORT Mitsuhiro Kunisawa

"After all, the Supra is this undercarriage!" When I attack the winding road, I'm in good shape. Especially the brakes are amazing! With the conventional 16-inch version, if you push downhill for about 10 minutes, the brakes will fade completely. With the large diameter rotors of the 17" version nothing fades.

Moreover, the controllability is perfect, probably because of the extra brake capacity. Even if you depress the pedal with all your might after holding back on the brakes until the last moment, the brakes will not lock. In terms of feeling, it's a perfect match for the sports versions of FR Porsche and BMW. 16 inches was a bogus.

Many people think that 17-inch tires will increase cornering speed, but they are wrong. When the Supra debuted last year, I tried putting 17-inch tires on. Those who have read the article will remember, but the result was that the lap times at the Tsukuba circuit did not change much.

On the other hand, the improvement of brake capacity has a great effect. Of course the suspension settings are also designed to bring out the performance of the upgraded 255/40ZR17 tires, so it should be able to lap more than tenths of a second faster than the 16-inch Supra. I'm looking forward to the time attack in the next issue.

The driver is super spartan. However, the MR, which has no switch dampers, has the comfort of a normal sports car. And yet there is no such thing as funyafunya. In that case, I wonder if this was good from the beginning.

But compared to the shock I experienced afterwards, the ride quality was nothing to worry about. As you know, the conventional GT0 understeers to the point of "tucking" when the limit is exceeded. No tails came out even if I boiled it or baked it (correctly, I thought it would be good for tuck-in or braking drift).

With that in mind, I tried to tuck in with all my might, and my heart pounded. Surprisingly, the car was facing the inside of the corner! It is exactly the state of "Tell me quickly!" I feel like

By the way, from the 16-inch specification,

Tearing response and road feel

Since the perception is linear, the controllability is greatly improved. The traction control was also cut for this test drive. I thoroughly enjoyed FR orthodox driving that enjoys accelerator control.

The "GTO MR" appeared at a time when the Supra was not allowed to run alone! It's a nostalgic Hibiki grade name for an old man like me who likes Jidousha. For Mitsubishi fans, Wakuwakumon is comparable to the GT-R. That's why I'm confident in its performance!

When I put it in the cockpit and jumped out onto the winding road, I was blown away. MR-chan has a comfortable ride. If you switch the variable damper to "hard", the GTO so far has an out-of-this-world ride. If you hit the road surface with undulations, the body bounces and your head hits the roof. From the outside, the GTO looks like it's going to be easy.

WRC tarmac stage. Needless to say, I had a lot of fun sliding around.

oh yeah. The effect of the newly adopted hybrid LSD is very effective. The cornering speed is much faster than the Lancer Evo (the center of gravity is low and the tires are thick), but it does not exhibit tricky behavior. Abolition of 4WS, ABS and switchable dampers

I think I made the right decision. Interestingly, this car is similar in price/performance, but completely different in character. If you like FR, there is only Supra, and if you like FF&4WD behavior, choose GTO. If the budget of 4 million yen can be managed somehow, it seems worth taking the plunge. Reach Reach!

A powerful 6-pot caliper with barely any clearance on BBS wheels. It will be released by Mitsubishi Ralliart, but the price is yet to be determined. Probably about 600,000 yen?!?!

The front rotor diameter has been increased from 296mm to 323mm. Naturally, braking power is also improved. Running is a fan itself!

[icarus-suraki]

39 and 48 for the ask meme

39 do you use lip balm? Does Chapstick count? Because I do use that, but only at night. I hate it when my hair blows into my face and gets Chapstick on it, especially when my hair then blows across my glasses and leave hazy streaks on the lenses. Unpleasant.

48 when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Oh no… Okay, so I was raised Episcopalian, right? And we don't see a damn thing wrong with things like gambling, smoking, swearing, and drinking. By which I mean that we use real wine for the eucharist (communion). So I guess I was in first grade when we all got sent through the First Communion class, which would mean the first time I tried an alcoholic beverage (red wine, possibly port) would have been when I was about 6 or 7.

And yet, ironically, I'm part of the 1% of kids that DARE actually worked on. So despite being totally fine with taking a dinky sip of wine in church, I was terrified of actually drinking anything alcoholic, even after I turned 21, because apparently if you drink alcohol you will get cirrhosis and die.

And yet, ironically again, we were each assigned a Bad and Dangerous Drug to do a research project on and I got assigned LSD and hallucinogens generally and that really only resulted in my wanted to try LSD (kind of a lot) but being afraid of the legal ramifications of obtaining the stuff.

Now that I've got a diagnosis for severe major depression, maybe I can get in on a research study for the use of shrooms to treat mental illness. Maybe.

Weird asks! Ask me things!

[cannibalesbianecro]

Have you ever tried psychedelics? I have a childhood friend who turned into an absolute maniac around puberty. as a teen and adult he was in and out of jail on assault/battery charges bc he just couldn't help getting into fights over stupid shit. Total rage monster. Then he went on a mushroom trip and experienced a sense of empathy for other ppl he'd never had before (in his words). After that he did a total 180. He's way happier & hasn't been to jail once since then. He just doesn't have those violent urges anymore, it's wild. He literally went from lifelong felon to normal worry free dude in one night.

I would actually love to try drugs like psychadelics or lsd but I'm schizophrenic and drugs worsen schizoprenia so I don't I'm going to risk it. I had a psyhcotic family member who's brain quality drastically decreased in the last few years of his life due to substances and I don't want that to be me. My problem isn't stopping myself from acting upon my violent urges because I already do that and I have never acted on them. I can control myself so that's not the problem. The problem is that I was born with these urges. As H.H Holmes once said "I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing.” These obsessions are far too deep seated to be removed with a simple trip. Even after my reality checks I'm back to being myself. Ever since I first met a human baby at 6 years old, I knew I was going to go down a dark path. I was a picky and had never even tried animal meat but something about being in the presence of freshly made human flesh AWOKE something in my little 6 year old soul. Something was unleashed. I was born with the urge to eat people in the same way I was born with the urge to drink breastmilk or water or eat fruits. I do have empathy for people, I've never acted upon my violent urges and I don't have a criminal record despite some petty crimes I've commited so I think I'm good. I'm not a violent person despite my violent urges and have been described as nice and emphatetic so my issues isn't that. Sorry if this rambly and repitive lmao

[lightyearssurrogatedaddy]

Quick Chat

Okay so, I'm reading a fanfic. Its a drama-based get together between two characters, one of them is jealous and thinks the other has a partner when they really don't. Chaos ensues, words are said etcetc.

"What's the problem LSD?" The problem is that I've been seeing some really weird portrayals of confessions recently, and it doesn't sit right with me at all.

I take notes whenever I read, and most of my notes were about how damn creepy character B was. A was accused of something nasty, and went to clear things up with B, who's been reacting extremely inappropriate to jealousy. Your daily, out of character moment of slaughtering an entire neighborhood. The conversation takes place, A tries to get B to talk about their anger, and why they've been acting so aloof lately.

A came here for a conversation. What's B's response? Getting angry, yelling, screaming, and kissing A without their permission, and then threatening them when they try to ask 'why'

B is irrationally angry in this fic, that's not how jealousy works, that's borderline obsession, and its really, really not fun. I know the point was to make things more dramatic, but when you force two characters to kiss just to resolve an argument --or hell, create more-- the whole relationship immediately comes off as very abusive.

When A's friend agreed that A and B should talk about it, I was screaming at them to just keep them HOME.

This may be a really personal thing, but the comments were so weirdly positive. Sure if something like this is your jam, go for it. But this was aimed to be romantic. Guys, that isn't romantic nor endearing. Think about if that happened to you in a real life situation. Someone's screaming at you, and then turn on a dime and kiss you. Stop framing that as romantic when it's clearly toxic and unhealthy, compliment the writer on how they executed the terror instead of cooing over the 'rOmAntIC AsPeCts'

Characters are for hell not perfect, they make mistakes, they're not all good people, and sure confessions lead to a lot of different outcomes considering the personality types that engage. Of course. But that doesn't mean we have to make them the worst kind of person just because we don't know how to handle confession scenes.

If you're having trouble writing a miscommunication or something similar to this, ask yourself what YOUR reaction would be. Completely forget about the fact that the characters are supposed to fall in love later so you don't accidentally taint the romance and turn it into something bad.

[consistent-self-destruction]

i know this sounds bad but i would genuinely do any drug to get away from this feeling right now.

okay well.. not any drug, because i have limits and there are many drugs that i am not interested in at all and a little disgusted by lol but the things i would do for a j right now or a little pill of molly </3 literally the only two drugs i've ever tried as well bye. but they are also the only ones i was ever really interested in anyways. i am also interested in trying acid and lsd but i am not really interested in that right now. i specifically would like weed right now just to literally be faded asf. and molly would be fun because it literally just makes you happy and i just want to feel ANYTHING but this because it is soooo just.. ugh.

i am trying to think if there are any other drugs i would try but i think that's it really. at least off the top of my head. im only interested in psychedelics and weed, i have no interest in anything hard, that shit scares and disgusts me i will most definitely keep my distance 😭. OH and adderall I would also try but I honestly don't really count it as a recreation drug because I most likely would benefit from it medically. Plus, most people who use it are college students and for practical reasons I think? I don't ever hear about anyone using it recreationally or as an escape. And those are the drugs I am interested in trying - recreational reality-escaping ones because seriously life sucks and every now and then when the weekend rolls around it is quite nice to just get the fuck away from it. God I would seriously do anything to just be geeked off molly or faded out my mind right now, I do not want to be here at all. I just want to be outside and I just want to be happy and I just want to feel free and alive and okay.

[chron1cally1r1s]

Walked for an hour, 4448 steps and I'm exhausted

After I got COVID in 2022 my energy levels took a nosedive and I haven't recovered to my normal energy levels and it annoys the crap it of me.

I get out of breath just walking up some stairs. It doesn't help that I developed mild asthma and have to use 2 inhalers when it acts up. Thankfully I haven't had to use them after I moved to my new apartment, there was clearly something in my old apartment that was triggering my lungs because I had a chronic awful cough, breathing difficulties and I was constantly sick. I moved to a new apartment mid January and the apartment is brand new and I've gotten ill twice and I haven't used my inhaler at all.

I feel better here emotionally and mentally. I had saved up a good sum of money over the past 2 years to use to furnish and decorate my apartment and I'm so happy with the choices I've made so far. The style is I guess romantic, I was going to do boho style but it didn't turn out that way and that's ok😊 I still have my bedroom to decorate and I want to make it a haven, a place that will bring me comfort and calmness. I'm still trying to figure it out.

Physically I've not been doing too well. I finally got a Ketamin/lidocaine/magnesium infusion and holy crap that was something. I had to be in the area where patients are taken to when they wake up from anesthesia while I was receiving the infusion. I was hooked up to a ECG machine, blood pressure cuff was out on my arm and a oximeter. A needle was out in my hand and a big syringe was out into a machine that pushed the syringe so it would take 75 minutes for the medication to enter my body. A few minutes later I started feeling the effect of the infusion and I feel asleep like when you get anesthesia. Half an hour later (I think) I woke up and I had an oxygen tube in my left nostril. I was so high that I couldn't see straight. If someone has blond hair I couldn't tell if I was seeing the face or the back of the head, it was freaky. I tried to see my b/p numbers but they were all scrambled and moving around on the screen. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life. I had asked the anesthesiologist if people had hallucinations and he told me yes because this medication is related to LSD 😵‍💫 That kind of freaked me out but I've already had a medication that is related to heroin so what is another medication that is a related to another drug hard drug, *shrugs*

This helped with some of the pain in my body but not the nerve pain in my feet which was the reason I was trying this medication combo. It was the last thing to try and I've tried everything medically to try to lessen the pain caused by poly peripheral neuropathy. I'm going to try it one more time and ask to increase the lidocaine which has numbing effect.

[barrymccaulkinem]

are things that purport to depict the hallucinogenic experience fun on hallucinogens?

like I've never tried lsd dream simulator would it be better while coming down from a trip?

[d3comp0se]

a small list of strange but fitting things I have done whilst I've been manic

TW: just everything i say here lol

since being diagnosed with bipolar 2 i have realised that when i do really weird impulsive stuff i am not being crazy, i am just manic. this is a list of things i have done which aren’t entirely self destructive (lying) because 1. i am bored 2. i like making lists and 3. i just came out of a month long depressive episode and i am THRIVING:

- got a bus to the city at night and walked around for two hours straight in the freezing cold whilst smoking the shittiest cigarettes i have ever had (i do not smoke) and listening to Natural Devotion by Spirit of the Beehive on repeat

- tried to order a hoover at 3am. it didn’t work luckily

- cancelled my train ticket so i could stay at university an extra day to play Minecraft 

- gone clubbing every night for a week, put myself in debt and slept for 2 hours a night just to do it all over again

- slept in my (now ex) boyfriends car because i didn’t want to go home and wake up my family at 3am

- posted an invite to a party on a massive field to everyone on my snapchat, despite not knowing more then half of them, and then proceeded to watch four of them get alcohol poisoning, one get their bike stolen and one to try to rob maccies 

- dated people i did not intend to date, only to break up with them as soon as i was depressed again (this one actually sucks and i do apologise)

- got high on LSD with a bunch of people i barely knew, ate three jumbo bags of Haribos, have a conversation with one of their pet cats and fall asleep on the sofa for 10 hours

- bought a skateboard? never used it? gave it to my sibling who actually could use it.

-  applied to an agency that could ‘link me up with big connections at Netflix’ and truly believed that i would be famous. it was a scam and i’m pretty sure they have my bank details

- had a dream that i formed a band, proceeded to call up my friends at 5am telling them that we HAD to start a band RIGHT NOW. they played along with it which was cool but once i snapped out of it they told me how it would probably never happen 

- put myself in debt multiple times (currently still am but savings exist for a reason)

- applied for a ton of jobs without knowing much about them but being convinced that i would get them. this one is actually good because it landed me a job and i actually made a fair amount of money! before i was fired because i decided that i didn’t ‘deserve’ it and never turned up. 

- tried to self delete multiple times but failed at each one. couldn’t jump in front of a train because it had been cancelled. couldn’t OD because i only had weak sleep pills from Boots and i ended up just having a really long deep sleep with dreams about talking animals or some shit. guess the world wants me to stick around a little longer.

- tried to become a cheerleader. i can’t even do a handstand.

good news: i am in therapy now and will be medicated soon (hopefully).

do it all for the plot :)  

[magizombi]

Posting this for my reference bc the vent app is dying its a long rant sorry

I was up til 3 am so I am probably gonna pass out again soon but I had a lot of fun last night

But also like that was. In spite of my roommate

So like last weekend, when I tried shrooms for the first time, this roommate(fiances ex-ish)had a whole Problem basically where they violated my fiances boundaries and space by biting them super hard and then repeatedly trying to pressure them into giving them a kiss so my fiance was like I need to not try shrooms for the first time with this person bc they make me feel unsafe and they communicated that with the person. Then when my fiance and I took the shrooms my roommate was sitting in the living room crying loudly for almost the entire night and made me have a pretty bad trip. Like there were good and fun moments but most of my trip was spent trying to stave off anxiety so I wasn't ruining my fiances trip worrying abt the roommate and then when my fiance came down before me I literally spiraled jnto a really intense panic attack and like roommate was told I got sent into a panic attack bc I was worrying abt them

So tell me why. Yesterday. I had an lsd tab left and was planning to take it and have fun with my fiance for the night(we did in spite of this it was great). And bc my fiance hadn't hung out with roommate all day(fiance has chronic fatigue which is exacerbated by stress so they've been sleeping a lot of the time lately)and then didn't do a group smoke with me and them when I got home from work they were like loudly crying at night once again. And like they sent my fiance a message asking if they weren't coming out anymore last night and my fiance was clear that like I had just dropped acid and th3y were watching over me and stuff and TELL ME WHY this bitch started crying LOUDER and I almost started freaking out again(luckily acid isn't as strong as shrooms to me or I would have had a horrible fucking time!!!). My fiance took me outside to smoke more and I was able to get it under control but like when we came back inside to like. Resume what we were doing I literally had to take a few minutes to get myself back into it even tho I really wanted to do it bc while we were getting back into it my mind was legit starting to race and be anxious again abt roommate so I'm just upset at them.

On one level I feel guilty that they came out here and their relationship didn't work out and I feel like they blame me for it bc I was reacting unhealthy to them moving in bc I never wanted them to. But on ANOTHER level this person gave me bad vibes the second I talked to them the first time. They have a huge lying problem. They don't respect my fiances boundaries. They lied abt being okay with noise so they could sleep in our living room and now i gotta tiptoe in the main areas of the house all the time which sets me off bc of the violent trap house I used to live in. They lied abt coming up here to help my fiance and take care of them and instead are incompetent at everything and want my fiance to do everything for them. They also are fucking weird abt food they won't put their name on food they want to save and will say it's for everyone but then they'll be upset that people eat the stuff they said was for everyone and didn't mark??? They keep tallies of everything like that and apparently they were bitching to my fiance abt how I never buy popcorn bc I've eaten some of what they bought BECAUSE THEY LITERALLY SAID THEY BOUGHT IT FOR ME TOO AND PUT NO FUCKING EXPECTATION OIT THERE THAT I COMPENSAT3 THEM OR ANYTHING so I'm just not gonna eat it anymore idk I'm anxious about what I eat I'm anxious about what I do with my time bc this person has decided my fiance and I are the only sources of social stimulation they'll ever seek out I literally feel guilty for wanting quality time with my fiance

Like we had planned for last night a few days in advance and I was really looking forward to it and then I just ended up feeling guilty abt doing it and being like oh no we didn't warn them when it's like they aren't. A PART OF MY FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. They don't need to know what we're doing!!! I'm so sick of them dude and I feel like I have no right to be bc the first bit of them living here was hell bc I was so toxic and having emotional regulation problems from being forced to live with someone I didn't know and then found out I didn't like but I'm in therapy now and have been really improving myself a lot and they're just. Talking to their therapist about TV shows and wanting to avoid therapy altogether otherwise. My fiance took a break from their r3lationshop bc this bitch is so codependent and wanted way more from my fiance than they could give - which they literally told them- and now whenever there's even the slightest hint at them acting like they're in a relationship again they think it's a free for all t disrespect their boundaries and try to act like they're dating again without them ever having worked on their shit. I'm worried and I'm stressed and I don't trust this person in my house. There's no feasible way to get them the fuck away from me for AT LEAST another fucking year so idek what I'm supposed to do here! I hate living like this and I hate feeling like I'm being held hostage by this person's emotions and codependency issues and I hate feeling like I can't feel this way bc I'm working through my own issues like maybe I deserve to have them ruin my trip every time I have one lmao

Now they're hungover apparently and I'm like u really drank a bunch of alcohol and made yourself super fucjing sick because my fiance didn't hang out with you for one. Fucking. Day.

[liminalhymnal]

Once again my roommate is the real MVP 😤

[slashingdisneypasta]

The Best Worst Ex Ever, Julia Cole and Alexandra Kay.

I have discovered this new song (Above) that i love and will be listening to for the next few days, at least, on repeat and its made me think of a funny, stupid little scenario XD

Ex's of Horror Villains getting together for group therapy (Probably set up by Leslie's ex) that just becomes each of them trying to convince the rest of the group that

their ex was the worst.

Sharing horrible stories and anecdotes that make the rest go oooooof, no!! but still feel convinced that they had it worse, and drinking wine or beer or cordial or whatever, making it a drinking game (Alcohol not necessary), rating each other's different accounts, slandering the horror villains, b o n d i n g (Because in the end this is all huge fun, even if their is competition involved), laughing at how horrible and weird all of what they went through is because what the fuck?? he was a doll! A DOLL!! these are not normal experiences man- , ordering pizza, maybe sleeping over (Locking all the doors and windows and then handing out the appropriate amount of Hypnocil like butter menthols on the playground because y'all are now in this together and that asshole would love nothing more then to crash a sleepover made up of slasher ex's.) because like??? Who else are you gonna complain about this with???

You all need closure-

"When it comes to him, I know I'm gonna win.

No one's ever done bad better.

I've got the best. Worst. Ex. Ever. "

(Unedited dialogue below cut)

"- And then his brothers crashed in and I screamed, because ya know, I'm NAKED- "

"Ugh, twins. Let me tell you about the Sin-Fucking-Clairs- "

"Oh twins are a joke- I had to deal with Hoyt. Do you know what happens when Monty gets his hands on a victims LSD and the fucken 'sheriff' get whiff? No, you don't, but I'll tell you- "

"Every night was an LSD trip with Freddy!- "

"Oh my god... do you remember when he went after Jason? Jason locked me up in his cabin for the duration with 20 boxes of Twinkies and V energy drink."

"W h a t- "

"Oh oh oh! Brahms did that when I tried to leave him!! ... I got various roast beef's, though."

"Oh you bitch- "

"You said bitch! Drink!"

"- Wait roast beef??? Michael burnt my cup noodles, one time."

"Chucky couldn't even reach the damn microwave- of fuck, doll joke. Drink."

"Does anyone need a refill?"

"Yes please. Did I tell y'all that Stu tried to make me have a threesome with him and Billy??... While Billy was with Sydney? Didn't happen, I can tell you that for sure."

"What a douche!"

"Yeah- "

"Ahahahahahahaha... haha... Its funny that you guys think you can beat me in the weird sex stuff category." ( <- Freddy's Ex S/O, to be clear)

"I fucked an ALIEN- " "A ZOMBIE- " "A man made of BEES!!"

"... yeah... I dunno if this is, uh, you know, relevant, or whatever... but Leslie got me to play Laurie Strode to his Michael Myers, once... "

*Michael's ex S/O can be seen fighting back laughter desperately, in the back*

"...- oh fuck I cant believe I haven't told you this yet! Otis propositioned me while I was with Baby!! It was really awkward! I've seen that man fuck himself on corpses. YES PLURAL- "

"Oh my god."

"Actually, should we be drinking at mentions of bad sex?"

"- Fuck no, we would die."

"New topic! Final Girls- "

"- And Andy - "

"Yes, and Andy."