#i've wanted to sing in a band for at least a year now

[thebeautifulfantastic]

<3

[tinylongwing]

Top five small birds go

PICKING ONLY 5 is CRUEL but I don't have time for 10. Species names will have the links to photo sources where applicable.

Long-tailed Manakin. They take like 4-5 years for the males to learn their dances and each year they look a little more like adults to match their experience! They are little and yet have very long tails!! And cute little caps! Very elegant tiny birds.

(Photo by me, bird handled and released on site with permits as part of MoSI, a long-running collaborative research program).

2. Wrentit. Look past the plain gray exterior, let me teach you some BIRD FACTS because these guys are basically aliens. They live in a very small part of the west coast of North America in scrub/chaparral, and we still don't really know how they got there or where their nearest relatives are or what birds they're even related to, though recently they think maybe it's parrotbills, which are otherwise mostly found in SE Asia.

During the breeding season, most female birds develop a brood patch, a section of bare skin on the belly for aiding in heat transfer to the eggs, and most male birds develop a swollen cloaca to facilitate sperm transfer. In some species where males help incubate, they also get brood patches. This is fine. Male Wrentits get brood patches. A little weird but not too crazy. Female Wrentits, however, get a swollen cloaca? Why?? Nothing else in North America does this? I don't.... understand.

Also they're cute, they have a song that's like a bouncy ball going down stairs, and males and females have slightly different songs, so even though we can't determine the sex in the hand like with normal birds, at least if they sing you can tell. Normal birds don't sing when being handled. Wrentits definitely sometimes do. I don't get it. But I love them for it.

(Photo mine, bird banded and released on site with permits as part of MAPS, a long-term research program).

3. Calliope Hummingbird. Itty bitty tiny creature, would absolutely spear you to death with its face if it thought it could pull that off. Hummingbirds in general are territorial and aggressive and these guys are no exception. Also they're beautiful. Look at that starburst of a face!

(I have photos but don't want to go dig them up, I'm lazy)

4. Java Sparrow. Help, I'm hopelessly charmed by how adorable they are. Unfortunately, apparently everyone else is too, and these are now critically endangered in their home range of Java due to habitat loss and poaching for the pet trade. The good?? news is they're also super invasive in places like Hawaii, so they're not about to go globally extinct, so that's cool, I guess.

5. Micronesian Rufous Fantail, formerly just Rufous Fantail, aka chichirika na'abak because look I don't know proper indigenous names for everything but I do for my study birds and I support their use. Chichirika is CHamoru for "showoff" and na'abak is "the one who will lead you astray", after the local stories of kids trying to follow these delightful little low-flitting creatures through the jungles and getting hopelessly lost, leading to village search parties.

Anyway, look at that tail!! Go listen to their cute little squeaks! I'm absolutely in love. I've banded literal hundreds of these and they never ever get old. Every single one of them is a treasure to me.

(Photo by me, bird banded and released on site as part of my very most beloved own tropical forest bird research program in the Northern Mariana Islands).

[hispieceofcake]

🎸MY THOUGHTS AND HEADCANONS TO ADAM FROM HAZBIN HOTEL - (for now)🍖

Hello hello folks, I've been thinking about writing about this post/blog for a while now and here it is, because Adam is my favorite character (obsession) and I have a lot of things in my head that I need share before I kidnap someone to listen to me talk about it for hours on end.

Hahaha I'm just kidding...or am I?

TW: Mention of profanity and sex.

I'm writing this blog because I have a lot to say about Adam and I think I'm already bothering my friends too much (just kidding, I'm going to keep filling them with Adam until I say enough is enough🤓👆)

Alright, let's start, firstly I was already a big fan of Hazbin hotel's work since the time Vizziepop had released the pilot on YouTube at the time of on October 28, 2019, and man, I was simply OBSESSED with the work, I had no idea who Adam was at that time, I was only 11 years old (And I know, I know, Hazbin Hotel was not and is not intended for minors, but I didn't have internet surveillance on my parents, so that's what happened and now I'm 18 years old).

And boy, oh boy

I was in complete EUPHORIA when it became public on August 7, 2020 that Hazbin Hotel was going to have a sequel on Amazon, I only knew how to talk about it and was excited waiting for the release date.

And when I watched that episode where Charlie has a meeting with Adam...I was like "THAT MAN, I NEED THAT MAN‼️‼️"

And that song..."Hell is Forever"... I can't remember a day that I didn't clean the house listening to that sound and pretending the broom was a guitar while I beat my hair like an 80s rocker high (I know, it's an exaggerated comparison but that's how I feel, so let me have it).

Here, listen to this work of art sung by our (MY) beloved Alex Brightman

In addition to the song "Stick it to the man" from the musical "School of rock" that Adam references in one of the items on the list of things to get into paradise, coincidentally his voice actor Alex Brightman also He is the main voice of the song and a character in the musical.

I spent all day listening to her today, but that's the least of it

There are also some songs by other singers that make me think of Adam because of their lyrics, for example Lana del Rey, there is a song of hers that all I think of when I hear it is Adam, unfortunately I can't share it here because it is a discarded song by the singer that I managed to download on a pirated website that has been taken down a while ago.

The songs that make me think of him are "Push me down" and what made me think of Adam is the following part "I'm your little baby doll and you are my mister rock 'n roll", the song "Brooklyn Baby" because of the music part "Well, my boyfriend's in a band, He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed", the others songs are "Say yes to Heaven" and "Angels Forever".

Adam, besides being my favorite character and hyperfocus, was the reason I met the character Beetlejuice (my other hyperfocus) and the voice actor and actor Alex Brightman. Because he was the one who aroused my curiosity to know who his voice actor was since I recognized that his voice was the same as Fizzarolli's, and then when researching and discovering the actor, I also ended up discovering about Beetlejuice, I even have a blog about it, if you want to read it, this is it here.

Just like with Beetlejuice, I'm producing a page with drawings and collages about Adam in my sketchbook that I might post later in a future post about my sketchbook, but that's another topic.

In addition, I'm trying to put together some songs to create a playlist based on him, in it I'm putting rock songs from the 80s that I feel suit him or that he would listen to, some songs by the norwegian singer Aurora which are very reminiscent of and are based on the garden of Eden and Adam from the bible (although the Adam from Hazbin hotel and the one from the bible are completely different).

Some time ago I was writing a fanfic about Adam with an authorial character completely made by me, it was just a fanfic that I had written on character IA but then I decided to write it myself, but I never got around to posting it and kept it stored in my notepad.

The story took place in the timeline of the first season of the series, where heaven discovered that demons and beings from hell now possessed angelic fist weapons and could hurt or kill the exterminating angels after the death of one of the exterminating angels, they would need a new strategy or a new "weapon", and then with the decision of God and all the seraphim, she was created, an angel made to protect heaven and bring back balance by killing sinners in hell, her name was Angelita, and she would be handed over to Adam who would have to train her until the day of the next day of extermination (which would be the day in which Adam dies), throughout the story Adam would begin to feel something for her, unlike Lilith and Eve, he would fall in love out of true love and not obligation, this love between the two would be something forbidden (as a metaphor for the forbidden fruit of Eden) since by God's order she would have to be pure and virgin and that Adam would not fall into temptation for her, I won't tell the rest of the story, if you want I'll make a post just about that (I'll leave you curious hehe), all I can say is that Adam will not die and the ending is tragic, for all sides.

🤘🏻MY HEADCANONS ABOUT ADAM🎸

These headcanons are some things I thought Adam might like, do, or make me think of him, and I'm also writing this because most of the headcanons I find about him are about sex or couples things (Not that they're bad, some are actually quite cute and I read them when I need comfort), so I'm here to contribute some content just about him.

• About how he feels about have been betrayed

I know, Adam is not the best person in the world but man, he is not a monster, he is a human, the first human, unfortunately, human nature is curious and destructive, not that this is an excuse for everything Adam committed. But then I think, "How much did it hurt to be cheated on twice?", "Did he feel worthless, insufficient?", I know how much it hurts to be cheated on, then I think how bad he felt and feels, but he hides it all behind a false personality of "Dick Master" and "The First Man", titles, high ego and falsehood to hide your real self. The only part of Adam that we were shown about him was him being extremely selfish, rude, arrogant and sexist, but all in scenes where he was exposed to people, people who weren't close to him, and then I wonder if he's just all that, but I feel like Adam he's just a hurt man who hides what he feels behind a false personality, just like Angel Dust does. Proof that he cares about people (at least those he considers close) was his smile at Lute as he slowly lost his life in the arms of the exterminating angel who cried seeing him dying. (I cried so much at this scene 😭)

Adam is a sexist character, I can't deny that, but man, he's the first man, no one ever told him what was right and wrong, they always let him do what he wanted from the beginning of his creation, and even in heaven, but now he had Sera to put him in his place at least when she was around.

I might just be taking a shot in the dark or looking for something good in what isn't there, but that's how I think about Adam, so please let me have this, let me see there's still some good there.

• Adam has a chubby body (like a dad body)

Okay, this one took me a while to think about, because a lot of people draw him thin and we never see him without his tunic, which left me quite confused, but after analyzing some scenes and discovering he was made based on his voice actor (Alex Brightman) I had no more doubts.

In these scenes every time he is squeezed his belly ends up being marked and you can clearly see that he is a little chubby. I know there was that scene with Lilith at the beginning that shows him skinny, but let's face it guys, you can see from his scenes in heaven that he eats a lot, do you really think he wouldn't gain a little weight?

And even Lucifer during the fight in hell against him told Adam that he had really let himself go, kind of like he was different before when he was in the garden of Eden.

Honestly, I don't know why people try to say he's skinny, the fanarts are really beautiful and stuff, but come on, don't you think a chubby Adam would make more sense? I'm not saying this because I love chubby men (I think they're incredibly cute and it makes me want to hug them 😫💗) but I don't know, I just think that with all of his diet, which isn't the best, it made him gain a little weight in the meantime.

• He felt bad about being the only human in heaven

This is because of an art I saw on Pinterest and it made me reflect on it. Like, when he got to heaven he was the only one with human appearance, all other angels and winners (human souls who reach heaven) had different appearances, such as animal appearances, for example Molly, Angel Dust's sister, who is a spider.

So I think he may have made that mask with horns to feel more integrated into that society and less different.

•Adam plays guitar when he's feeling bad (sad, distressed, stuff like that)

I imagine that whenever Adam is feeling sad, distressed or even stressed, he goes somewhere alone and plays his guitar in calm chords expressing what he feels through the melody played, it would be calm notes but full of feelings, his black gloved fingers hitting the strings while all there is in the place are just him, his guitar and his mind, and no one else to see him like that.

I think that whenever he remembers Lilith and Eva's betrayals, he feels at least a little bad, and then playing his guitar stops and takes away all that bad feeling in his chest, even if it just goes away temporarily.

I imagine the following scenario, late afternoon almost dusk as the cotton white clouds take on a yellowish tone as the sun slowly sets bringing the night with it, while the sun brought the night with it, in Adam's chest that bitter feeling grew as memories knocked on the door again, leaving him more moody than usual, making him fly away from the city with his guitar to sit on the golden gates of heaven and as he plays the guitar calmly emptying that feeling from his chest so that the next day he pretends that nothing happened, but he knows, he knows that that will forever be stuck in his mind.

• He's not as popular as he says he is

Going back to that topic I said about him hiding behind a false narcissistic personality and high ego, I think that him being popular is a lie, both sexually and in society, I know, he is the first man and that would make him popular and the fact that he is a guitarist in a band, but think with me, would you like to be in the presence of someone or have relationships with someone who only knows how to curse all the time and talk about himself and how many girls he had sex with over the weekend?

Well, at least I think that everything he says is just stuff to inflate his ego and feel good about himself.

• He likes 80s rock bands

This is just in my head, I feel like Adam would like 80s rock bands like Metallica or Guns N' Roses, maybe even Slipknot, bands in general that have the same type of music that he plays, I also think he enjoys guitar solos like Slash or the solo from the song "Master of puppets".

I also think that his band's style follows the same style as these bands, I don't know, like I said it's just my headcanon.

•Adam has a fear or trauma of apples

This is supposed to be a little funny

This headcanon came to mind when a friend of mine who also knows Hazbin hotel made the joke that Adam is afraid or traumatized by apples because of the whole forbidden fruit of Eden thing and betrayal by Eve.

Imagine, Lute simply eating an apple near him and he freaks out, ripping the apple out of her hands and throwing it away.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

I honestly feel like Adam deserved a chance to change, a chance at redemption, a chance to really be loved and really love, no sex, no divine obligation, just real love.

Well guys that's what I have for now, I'll try to remember more headcanons for a next post, maybe even some +18, but for now that's all I have in my mind.

Thank you so much for reading, kisses in your heart 💗🤘🏻

[nayeonline]

"LW2G" - The Debut EP by KATSEYE (my reimagining of their debut)

So this is actually the second imagined album I've put together, which feels weird to nobody but me, because despite only posting one for ITZY literally a whole year ago, at all times I have at least 5 half finished imagined albums in my drafts lmao. This one is for KATSEYE, because if you've seen my rants reviews in my Monthly Roundup series (here & here) you will know that I have not been exactly pleased with the direction HYBE is taking them. I am aware that the group's debut EP 'SIS' is dropping soon, so I wanted to post this now so my opinions wouldn't be overly influenced by what the group has already released.  ALSO - a lot of this post was talked through and contributed to by my moot @pocima so thanks so much for that bestie u have amazing taste :) Before we get into the tracklist, let’s lay out what I wanted to achieve from this project:

It should have a clear, defined target audience.

The EP should establish a sound that doesn’t echo someone else currently releasing music aimed at that target audience.

The sound created should allow them room to grow and explore.

The EP should be somewhat thematically relevant to their status as rookies and their big aspirations.

Their concept should emphasize their status as a truly international group and capitalize on that.

So with that out of the way, let's get into “LW2G”, my imagined KATSEYE debut project.

Target Audience:

Because of the ages of the members, and because the music promotion vessel of choice these past few years has been TikTok, older teenagers seem the most obvious target audience for a group like KATSEYE in my opinion.

Concept:

The concept will be semi inspired by the somewhat new yet already iconic ‘superhero by night, ordinary girl by day’ trope popularised by Sailor Moon, Hannah Montana, etc. High school is a pretty universal experience and will link KATSEYE with girls around the world, so half of the concept will build on this - perhaps there could be concept photos of the girls wearing typical school uniforms from their region? This would also expand upon the aesthetics of ‘Dream Academy’. The other half will draw from classic 90s girl group aesthetics, think TLC or Destiny’s Child music videos. The combination of relatability and aspiration works well for a 2024 market in my opinion - it's what gives stars like Taylor Swift longevity over their competitors. The concept also feels very kpop in my opinion, which is also supposed to be what sets KATSEYE apart from their competitors.

Sound:

The sound will build off the concept throughout the tracklist. The marching band instrumentation references a high school ambience, but the 00s synths echo the superstar energy I’m trying to create in the second half of the concept. Key reference points for the sound will be Nelly Furtado, TLC, and Destiny’s Child.

Tracklist:

(1) Step On Up (orig. Ariana Grande)

I wanted to start with this cult favourite of Ariana Grande's discography. I love how the percussion plays with the vocal performance, it effortlessly builds the excitement for the album, references the marching bands of the concept, and it's thematically relevant to the groups status as rookies. I truly believe the KATSEYE girls could handle this song effortlessly.

(2) Long Way 2 Go (orig. Cassie)

This is the track that I envision being the title track, ITS SO ADDICTIVE. I would definitely change the lyrics to suit the girls being younger, and I would love to see a variety of languages in this track - they might be an international group but if they only sing in English they are functionally another american pop group. This also works well thematically for KATSEYE, and the synths echo their 'pop superstar by night' concept.

(3) Lose My Breath (orig. Destiny's Child)

This has the potential to be another promoted track that I could see expanding on the high school it girl aspect of their concept, due to it's gorgeous percussion. This is such a classically amazing dance track and we know that these girls can DANCE, so I know they would kill a choreography to it.

(4) Change (orig. FLO)

Thanks to @pocima again for suggesting this track specifically, it really pulls the album together and brings that relatability that perhaps some of the other songs were lacking. FLO have such an amazing discography, but this track especially would work well with the girls' vocal styles in my opinion. Its on the more rnb side, creating another avenue of music for the group to explore in future projects without alienating their main sound. I could also see this as a secondary single from the EP, functioning as the kind of mirror image to LW2G.

(5) Better (orig. BoA)

An absolute banger from the queen of kpop, and it works so well on this EP. It has this aura that I really think the KATSEYE girls could pull off. It has the beautiful 00s/90s synths we love and the anthemic nature of the song fits the girl group style effortlessly.

(6) Soul (orig. Girls' Generation)

I love this track for the closer because it brings together all the different elements of the EP - it has the percussion of Lose My Breath and Step On Up, the synths of LW2G, the assertiveness of Better and the vocals of Change. Again, I don't know that it would only be in Korean - i would love to see some of the other languages the girls speak featuring on this track. Like many of the tracks on this album, the concept of 'finding your soul' also speaks to the position KATSEYE is in within the industry, and successfully rounds out the overall message of the EP - KATSEYE are here to rock the boat and find out who they are along the way.

Final Thoughts:

I really like the EP I've put together here, and I truly think it fills a gap in the market - it's really not a bad idea to pitch a new girl group at america considering its been a long time since a group act has really made it big over there, and KATSEYE certainly have what it takes talent-wise. I may not have liked the two singles KATSEYE have dropped so far, but I am certainly sat for their official EP whenever it comes out. By all means let me know ur thoughts on my tracklist and concept ideas, and thanks for reading, I appreciate it a lot.

~ ari

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It's time they knew (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Based on this request. I'm sorry for how long this has taken me to finish, but I hope you like it!

I'm slowly working my way through my requests. Things might take a little while now that I'm studying for the next couple of months and it's getting closer to winter which is the busy season at work. Please bear with me!

Words: 1.6k

Tobin and I were kicking the ball around as I told her about my plans to reveal my identity. I was predominately a soccer player, but I was also a singer. No one knew who I was, no one knew I was the person behind anónima. We did songs ranging from pop to country, millions of people followed us, came to our concerts and bought our music, but no one knew who I was, who my band was. It had started as a way to put my music out there without drawing attention because I had massive stage fright. However, I was starting to entertain the idea of revealing who I was. 

"Are you sure about this baby? It's going to bring a lot of attention."

"I think so, I mean I already get attention and I'll get even more once I start with the team and when we go public. It feels like it's time, but I'll decide for sure tomorrow."

"Whatever you decide, I'll support you 100%. Can I bring the team? I know you're starting with us next week, but I would love for them to finally meet you as my girlfriend. If you decided to reveal yourself that it. Also they love you."

"Of course you can Toby. I would love to finally meet the team properly." Due to mostly playing internationally and only recently deciding to return to the US, I hadn't been called up until now. Not that I really minded too much, I was only 26, there would be the opportunity for plenty more camps in my career. It did mean I hadn't really met any of the national team. I guess it would be good to meet them before camp. 

My concerts had always worked on a trust sort of system. I didn't wear a mask or anything. The stage was dark, only just light enough that my band could see, but no one could see them. I stood at the back, away from the light. All it would take was a torch or light source to reveal our identities. Over the years I had gotten more comfortable on a stage and with my fans. Moving around and interacting with them more. I still hadn't decided if I was going to reveal myself, but the stage crew knew that if I moved to a certain point on the stage then they would turn the lights on. Of course I had also discussed it with my band since they weren't known either. They had left it up to me to decide which made it even harder. 

As I sung the first couple of songs, I watched the crowd dance and sing along. Seeing the happiness on peoples faces and knowing it was because of us was my favourite part of concerts. I found myself wishing I could join in dancing around and interacting with them more, instead of trying to stay in an area they wouldn't see me. 

Once the song ended, I spoke up, "Let's talk for a minute. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for coming out and supporting us even though you have no idea who we are. None of this would have happened without you guys. So, as a way of thanking you, here's a new song I've been working on."

I always thought I'd be a rambling girl Living in the moment, never making plans Finding love was just a dream I was having Written in the movies, never thought it would happen

I try to fill my loneliness with whiskey And empty nights with different girls that never missed me Funny how when you least expect it Everything can change

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

During the brief instrumental, I took a deep breath, moving forward on the stage. As I started singing the next line the stage lit up, cheers and screams louder than I had ever heard filled the stadium. 

You know I love it when your hair's a mess The way you shine when you wear that dress Girl, I don't think that you understand You make me a better person

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

Just like blue on the sea Our love won't fade, it's evergreen Girl, the best part of me Is you

My attention was solely on Tobin as I sung the last verse. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for her. My first concert would never have happened without her encouragement and support. The many nights spent with her sitting quietly beside me as I wrote new songs because she knew it helped calm my mind enough to let my ideas flow. She had been by my side through it all, without hesitation or judgement. 

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for I sat down on the edge of the stage, taking a moment to compose myself as the cheering started to die down. "Surprise! That happened. Honestly, I was kind of torn about doing this. The secrecy behind it makes it fun, it keeps things interesting, but I also wanted to do something to thank you for the unwavering support I receive. Enough of my droning on though, I think it's time to introduce myself. I'm Y/n, behind me I have my amazing band. Guys, give a wave with your name so they know who you are. We've got Jason, Mason, yes they're twins, last but not least we have Abby. Thank you for coming to our show. Stick around because we're just getting started."

---

The show had ended a little while ago. The band and I had finished our post show debrief and showers. They had gone to pack up their gear while I waited for Tobin. She was going to wait for the crowd to calm down before making her way out the back with the team. I had played with or met a few of them through club matches in the limited time I played in the states, but a lot of my professional career was international. 

Before my nerves could grow any further, voices from down the hall caught my attention, "Tobin what's going on? I don't think we're allowed back here."

"Just wait and see."

I laughed to myself at the irritation lacing Tobin's voice before the nerves started rising again. I could sing in front of thousands of people without worrying, but I was terrified to meet them. They were important to her, they were going to be my team soon and I wanted to make a good impression. I took a deep breath, before putting on a smile as the numerous girls walked through the door, most of them freezing when they saw me. 

Tobin wrapped her arms around me, placing a kiss on my lower neck, "You did amazing, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you my love."

"Wha-" One of the girls started but cut herself off. I chuckled quietly, pulling away from Tobin. 

Christen hugged me quickly. With her being Tobin's bestfriend, I had met her pretty early on in our relationship. We got along great, but she also didn't know about my singing career, "Well this is a surprise."

"Yeeah, sorry I didn't tell you soon-"

"You don't need to apologise Y/n. I get it."

I was reminded of the people behind me when the sound of slapping started. Many of the girls still looked stunned, while a few of them were hitting each other and pointing at me. It was actually quite entertaining, but I decided to speak up and put them out of their misery, "Hey, I'm Y/n."

"Don't just stand there, introduce yourselves." Tobin spoke up making some of the girls snap out of it and introduce themselves one at a time. Then they launched into multiple different questions, "Slow down, you'll be seeing Y/n often. You don't have to ask a million questions right now."

"Wait what? How? Why?'

"Y/n is my girlfriend and she's the newest addition to the team as of next week."

"She is?" Emily asked still looking like a deer in headlights, "You're a soccer player?"

"Yes."

"You've known who she is and you didn't tell us? We talk about her all the time."

Tobin shrugged, arm wrapping around my waist, "It wasn't my place to tell you who she was. I know you love her music, but just remember Y/n will be your teammate and friend, don't just treat her like the singer you love."

"We will, it's great to meet you Y/n. Although I think we've played against each other a couple of times."

"You too Ali. I'm pretty sure we have, quite a few years ago now."

We talked for a while. The girls getting all the questions they had about me as a singer before moving on to questions about Tobin and I, my soccer career and anything else they could think of. I was a bit surprised how fast they went from being amazed at meeting me to just treating me like someone on the team. Honestly, it was a relief. I had been worried about how they would react and treat me if they knew who I was. I guess that was another thing I should be thanking Tobin for. The band had come and talked with us for a while before we all parted ways. There was only so much social interaction I could handle. With the show and meeting the team, I was exhausted. 

I crawled into bed as soon as we got back to our apartment while Tobin went to shower. Arms wrapped around me from behind as I was on the verge of sleep. "I'd say that went pretty well."

All I could do was mumble out a 'it did' before pulling Tobin closer. I could feel Tobin laughing as she placed a kiss on my cheek, "I love you baby."

[gelly-fsh]

Diary of a (smitten) Mariachi

I've been having all types of thoughts about Mariachi James Potter, like you cannot honestly tell me that he would not thrive in it. I think his grandfather would have been a famous Mariachi and he just taught James how to sing and how to play the guitar.

When he was in Uni, he didnt want to depend solely in his parents money so he decided to put his grandpa's lessons in good use and start a small business out of it with a couple of friends and cousins that lived in the same city. They got pretty famous, especially when his cousin Mary decided to do a YouTube channel and a Tiktok account for the band.

And look, in the 3 years he has been doing this, he has come across some weird and scandalous shit. Until now his favorite was when a dude hired them to serenade his wife (apparently they had a fight) but when the woman didn't appear in her balcony the guy was so mad he asked them to come with him to go and serenade his mistress instead.

Yeah, fun times. At least that girl did love it.

Today, they had a morning job for a birthday. The guy who hired him (Barty, if he remembers correctly) gave him a rundown of what he wanted to happen, and James knew almost instantly this was one of those prank serenades. He hoped this Regulus guy didn't beat the shit out of anyone for waking him up with guitars and trumpets.

When they arrived to the house address, he could see they guy that he must assume is Barty waiting for them outside with a mischievous grin on his face.

"I gather that you're James Potter no?" The guy asked

"Pleasure to meet you" James said, shaking his hand "are you Barty?"

"The one and only" Barty confirmed. He quickly explained that his friend Regulus would be waking up in half an hour, so they had to be quick going upstairs (the house was fucking gigantic). When they were outside the door, all of them started to prepare their instruments and do a last check up on their clothes (Mary fixed James hat bc apparently it got crooked). He could see Barty taking out his phone, most probably to start recording everything, and then they went inside the room.

From the first notes of the trumpets and the violins, James could see clearly how the boy that was before sleeping so peacefully jump up so high he almost rolled out of the bed. But when he raised his head to see them, James breath hitched in astonishment.

That had to be the most prettiest boy he has ever seen.

Even bleary-eyed, with a dry trail of drool on his chin, and sheet marks in his cheeks, James could only think that he would really like to sing every love song ever invented to him, isn't that crazy?

"Estas son las mañanitas que cantaba el Rey David..." (This are the mornings that the King David sang about) James started as normally, he has sang Las Mañanitas a thousand times, the Vicente Fernandez version being one of the most popular, but James just didn't want to sing that one, it was to impersonal, so he just decided to throw the protocol out of the window and sing the version he really wanted.

"A los muchachos bonitos, se las cantamos aquí" (To the pretty boys, we sing it to them here)

"Si el Sereno de la esquina me quisiera hacer favor, de apagar su linternita mientras que pasa mi Amor" (If the watchman in the corner would be so kind, of turning off his little lamp while my Love passes by) He could feel the gazes of all the band members piercing through his skull, and for a moment James thought that maybe he shouldn't have sang the more romantic version of Las Mañanitas with a band full if family members and friends who could understand Spanish, he was fucked for the next family reunion, but Regulus face when he saw him sing made it worth it.

Remnants of sleep still filled his eyes, and when the song started he was in the middle of cursing Bartys whole bloodline out, but when he locked eyes with him, James could perfectly see how Regulus entire face turned into a beautiful shade of cherry red. He just sat in his bed with his gaze fixed on James while he sang about birds singing and the Moon hiding out, giving way to the beautiful morning that resided in his eyes.

"Si no estas enamorado, enamoráte de mi" (if you're not in love, fall in love with me) he sang with a small smile in his face, and he delighted himself by how Regulus face went even more red.

He sang the rest of the song effortlessly, and when he finished, James and all of band did a small bow in Regulus direction.

"Happy Birthday Mr. Regulus" James said with a soft smile on his face.

"Eh- ehm thank you" Regulus responded, sounding awfully flustered.

"Well that was no fun, you didn't even make that much of a fuss" Barty whined on the other side of the room "I bring you your favorite Mariachi as a present and you couldn't even give me more drama?, please Reg" James could exactly pinpoint the moment Barty realized he fucked up, did Regulus already knew James?

"BARTY!" Regulus hissed out, throwing a pillow that landed directly in Bartys face.

"You are a fan of ours?" James asked surprised, Regulus type was not exactly their normal audience

"You could say that..." Regulus mumbled

"He has watched all of the videos where you are and-" another pillow was thrown to Bartys face, the beautiful color red coming backbto Regulus cheeks.

"Well I am honored" James chuckled softly, before deciding that he might as well be bold, even if it was deeply unprofessional "Its not all days I find out such a beautiful boy is a fan of what I do"

The compliment got him exactly what he wanted, which was a small gasp and more of that beautiful blushing, oh he was down bad. Regulus opened his mouth to say something, but Mary used that moment to (rudely) interrupt them

"I am deeply sorry to interrupt, but today we have another job in the other side of the city, so we should get going" Mary interjected softly, looking a mixture of amused and regretful (as she should be, why is he interrupting hid attempts to woo the love of his life???) "Happy Birthday again Mr. Regulus"

All the band echoed the congratulations, before softly taking the instruments and leaving the room. James almost wished Barty had payed for more than one song. Mournfully, he gave Regulus one last glance before tipping down his hat and saying "Happy Birthday, Amapolita dorada" before leaving the room.

While going down the stairs, he was being teased by Mary and the others about how obvious his little crush was and how annoyed they where that he changed the song version at the last minute (they were not really, but they do sure liked to whine).

It was not until he was going out the door that he heard frantical footsteps going down the stairs, and James just stood there at the door, hope filling his heart when he saw Regulus disheveled form looking at him.

"Listen, I probably am reading the situation wrong but-" Regulus said breathlessly "If you like, wanted to go out or something..."

James never accepted something so fast in his life "absolutely, I want to see you again"

He could hear Regulus breath hitch, breathing out a soft "Oh, well" before pressing a piece of paper in James chest "it's my number, text me ok?"

"Oh I will" James smile was blinding, he got the interest and the number of one of the most handsome guys he has ever seen, and he was not wasting this golden opportunity so easily. In an act of chivalry (and maybe stupidity) he softly took Regulus hand and slowly took it to his lips, leaving a soft kiss in the dorsum of his hand "Until we meet again, Regulus"

"Until then, James" Regulus sounded breathless, and James smirked in delight at the knowledge that Regulus did know him before the performance.

Since then, everyone could see that James Potter sang love songs with a bit more sweetness to it, as if really really knew what he was singing about. With the beautiful muse that he had, how could he not?

[mrsnancywheeler]

in the little blurbs I've been writing for billy dunne, where they're arguing and all toxic and eddie is in love with her

at one point they have a big blow up fight, one worse then usual and she actually packs all her shit up and leaves. when billy goes to call whenever he's ready to have her back she just doesn't answer, he drives by her house and her car is gone. so for a while he's just panicked because he's realized he's actually done it, completely broken everything and now he has this bond to her that he doesn't understand so he's freaking out. and eddie is also super upset because she deserved better then billy and now she's just dipped off the face of the planet.

only for everyone to find out she was holed up with daisy, getting high, writing songs, that she's sold some songs about billy to different record labels which unfortunately for him become really popular later. and unfortunately for eddie who has to hear people singing all her lyrics about how in love with billy you are and all the resentment that comes with it. anyways billy is pissed when he finds her, both at her and daisy.

and he's raging on about how worried he's been and you just like start bawling, and he's like wtf because usually she gets angry and leaves and come back. but this time she just lays it out there

"I don't want to be your muse if I'm only good when it's volatile and burning up, so you can have me or leave me. but it's been two years and I'm exhausted billy."

but the ultimatum isn't really an ultimatum because she's resigned herself to the idea that it's really been over for a while, it stopped being fun, and is set to spend the rest of her days hanging out with daisy, laying on the beach and hanging out with other socialites, who knows maybe she'll trying the playboy bunny of it all, but then the concert happens and the band is over.

billy realizes he does in fact need her, how badly he really wants her, how irreplaceable she is, and he's got nothing to hold him back from that now. he goes to rehab, does everything he can to be better for her and eddie is left longing, glad that at least he's trying, but of course billy fucking dunne always gets what he wants.

[nickeverdeen]

Hehehe could I get an Arcane and/or Nimona matchup😋 I’mma yap a lot so prepare LMAOO

My name is Kathryn (or Kat for short) and I'm in school for graphic design and communications - I originally wanted to go into cosmetology to become a desairologist, but I didn't get in. I play piano, dance (hip hop, ballet, tap, and jazz), and sing. I also produce my own music.

Idk how to classify my style so I'lI say it alternates between morute, gloomy coquette, dollette, gothic, and alternative. I also lean heavily towards the feminine side of the spectrum.

I practice witchcraft and l'm also a Christian. I have a weird fascination with dolls and I collect them, specifically porcelain dolls. Like, it's so bad LMAO my friends are scared to come into my room atp!!! Literally I'm probs on someone's rob list I have one worth $400😭🙏

I also collect vinyls. I have over $600 worth of them save me…

Some of my favorite music artists are Bambi Baker, Melanie Martinez, Solya, Elita, Ha Vay, Baby Bugs, and Mercy Necromancy. I also like a lot of rock; AC/DC, Scene Queen, Delilah Bon, BANSHEE, Gurldoll, Ashnikko (she's sometimes rock), and Ennaria

I suppress literally everything until I just burst and it’s been building for two years now so uh yay😍

My humor’s honestly really weird. I can laugh at bread falling but find a really good dad joke stupid and unfunny. I also tend to match the personality of the person I'm speaking to. I’ve also been told I’m really great at comfort but I don’t know about that. A lot of people confide in me with their problems. Like a lot..🥲 not that I mind, it just gets a bit tiring

I’m more attracted to masc leaning people but I’ve also dated fems before. It doesn’t really matter to me as long as we have chemistry, but I do find myself eyeing a lot more masculine girls.. I’m kind of attracted to men, but not a whole lot.

I also don’t like touch unless I’ve known the person for at least 6 months or I initiate it. I’ve had multiple breakdowns because someone who wasn’t a “safe person” touched me without giving any warning…… I tense up MASSIVELY when someone hugs me even if I know they’re going to. The only people that don’t have that effect on me are my best friend (who I’ve known for 4 years) and my dad.

I took a state personality test and I’m exactly 50% INFP and 50% INFJ. Legit confused the test and it gave me both💀

Im diagnosed with anxiety & depression. I've been told I might have OCD, BPD and some sort of depersonalization/derealization disorder.

I believe I could have autism or ADHD. I also have heavy hallucinations that can last either 30 minutes or 2 weeks. I have major mood swings too. One minute I can literally be bouncing up and down while wanting to blow something up and then the next I’ll be crying on the floor😭

Aaanyway I think that’s enough of me yapping have a great day babes<3

Your Arcane match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would love discussing your music collection, especially rock and alternative genres

It may not seem like it, but she has a soft spot for underground bands and loves discovering new music

Caitlyn’s patient and empathetic nature makes her a great listener, offering comfort and understanding when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

She’d be your rock during your mood swings

Provides a calming presence and helpes you through tough moments with patience and care

Caitlyn respects your need for personal space and takes care not to touch you without permission, understanding the importance of consent and comfort

Caitlyn would plan unique and adventurous dates, like exploring hidden spots in Piltover or attending underground music gigs

She herself would maybe prefer a classic restaurant one, but when she tried this she prefered this

Caitlyn would like your unique style and often compliment your outfits, even suggesting accessories or outfits that might suit your aesthetic

She’d be a bit unsure and creeped out by the doll thing, though

Caitlyn would silently encourage you to express your emotions and not suppress them

Caitlyn’s love for photography would complement your graphic design skills, and you’d often collaborate on creative projects

She would cherish quiet, quality time with you

Whether it’s listening to music together, having deep conversations, or simply enjoying each other’s company

Your Nimona match is…

Nimona

Nimona’s playful nature would match your quirky humor

She’d often make you laugh with her antics and shapeshifting abilities

Nimona would love going on spontaneous adventures with you, whether it’s exploring new places or trying out new activities

Nimona’s fierce loyalty means she’d be incredibly protective of you, always ready to stand up for you if anyone tried to harm or disrespect you

Nimona would appreciate your artistic talents and often encourage you to express yourself through your art and music

Her unconventional ways of comforting might seem odd, but they’d always make you feel better, like turning into a cute animal to cheer you up

Slowly she would learn to respect your boundaries over time, ensuring she doesn’t touch you without your consent

Nimona would love discovering new music with you and often play your favorite songs during your adventures together

Despite her tough exterior, Nimona has a deep understanding of emotions and would be there for you during your highs and lows

Nimona’s idea of a date would be anything but ordinary – from sneaking into restricted areas to watching thunderstorms from a safe spot

She’d like your unique style and individuality, often praising your confidence

[lightineventide]

Happy birthday to Magali "Maggy" Luyten! Her work is a big inspiration for me (I know that metal music as a whole is, but I'm not immune to having favourites). Especially since I recently found out about her newest band - The Prize. I couldn't finish the whole of this experimental drawing in time like I had wanted, so I'm putting here the first half, hehe. I hope that I've managed to catch a glimpse of that stage presence which has captivated me for years! (Note: I hold a great appreciation for singers that make me wanna sing along Every Time I hear their voice, so that's why I'm currently fangirling more than usual.) I don't own the rights to the reference photo.

Some recommendatons:

With Ayreon - that's the most popular of her works. In the studio album she's featured on only two songs: Liquid Eternity and Ride The Comet, but I strongly recommend checking out her performance in the Ayreon Universe live album (2017) - of the songs Intergalactic Space Crusaders, Star of Sirrah, Everybody Dies and again, Ride The Comet.

Beautiful Sin - I'm not that much of a fan of their album, but that was Magali's first more popular work, I think, and it's definitely not bad at all. Songs recs: Give Up Once For All and Closer To My Heart.

Nightmare - this French band was founded in the 80s and has had different vocalists. Luyten was on the position in 2016's Dead Sun. I don't know if it's the band's best album, but I definitely love it - a classic heavy metal songwriting style, plus, Maggy's voice really shines here, and the production is nice - worth checking out if you like such stuff, in my opinion. Specific song recs: Ikarus, Red Marble & Gold and Starry Skies Gone Black.

The Prize - again, a very classic hard rock/metal approach, with a touch of modernity. I'd say their album (first and only for now, self titled, from 2022) is a collection of the musicians' influences and loved music, overall a not-too-unique but fun and exciting work. I strongly recommend it to anyone who has that specific nostalgic connection to this type of music (I am a person who was raised on rock and metal and I get very excited by only the sound of electric guitars and drums and rockstar-type vocals, so maybe that's why I like it so much). Song mentions: Cirkus (my favourite), Funhouse Mirror, Garden of Bones and Blood Red Ink.

[dreadsuitsamus]

Chicago Part 2 | Renji Abarai x Reader |

part one

author's note: after a long time trying to continue this, i've decided it's best if i just do a part 3 instead to cap this off, rather than try to push it all into one section. like in part one, this is heavily based on music by the band highly suspect, which i will always recommend you check out! the songs chicago, vanity, and wolf (which happen to be my top 3 highly suspect songs haha) are the ones mentioned in this fic and i recommend giving them a listen just to get a bit more understanding for the things mentioned in this fic.

pairing: renji abarai x fem!reader

warnings: smoking, mentions of drug use and overdoses, rockstar!renji au, angst

The stage lights are hot against his skin, and Renji's already torn off his shirt and tossed it to the fans screaming in the crowd some time ago. It's been a long string of shows in this tour and he's been out of it most of the time, not that you'd be able to tell through his performances. He's as good as ever, still passionate and still following his soul with every word he sings. It's all he's ever known.

It's an outdoor venue tonight, and it's scorching hot as the show nears its close. Sweat drips off of him and his long, vivacious scarlet locks of hair cling to his back and torso, the cameras on him catching every little detail as he approaches the mic stand again and the lights dim as the last song slows. He's outright refused to perform Chicago the entire rest of the tour, much to the band manager's and fans alike chagrin. Ever since that afternoon he last saw you, where he begged you and you still walked away from him, he can't possibly get through the song without wanting to scream and cry and curse the day he met you.

All the other songs he wrote about you are still fair game, though.

"And I have searched my soul, yeah, for you, it's true." His lips practically kiss the mic and his long, dark lashes brush against his skin as he closes his eyes to hide from the cameras and lights alike. "But nothing ever comes out right. And I swear, I'm headed back to the other side, yeah."

Vanity, he thinks. At least I was honest.

"I can't sit around and watch us both die." His voice rings out, so vulnerable and broken and no matter how many times he sings this song or thinks about you and the good times that are years in the past, he can't help feeling choked up. "Oh no—"

"I cannot watch us both die." Renji says to you as he stares out of the window, rain falling gently as a tear slips down his cheek.

You must hate him by now, if for nothing else than surely for using a line from his breakup speech to you in a song that has been heard by millions.

"Oh no, not I. You know I've gotta try." The following cry is directly from his soul, so beautiful and powerful and he's never screamed so gorgeously in his entire career. Goosebumps litter his tattooed body and the little hairs on his neck stand on end at the feeling— the whole reason for the cameras in the first place is that they're making an edit of the tour, and there's no doubt in his mind that this performance will get a complete video of its own uploaded. It's an older song from album's past that newer listeners likely wouldn't know; what a way to introduce them to his most painful memories.

"I need you here." A damned tear slips past him, and he just knows his face is plastered on the big screens of the venue— even without them, the people in the lawn seats could figure out he's a wounded man. The agony in his voice is more than enough; the lyrics and tears just hammer the point home for those that need to be told explicitly that he's a sad, lonely, broken man.

Crying for the public is starting to become his thing, and he hates what it's doing to his image. But this is the last song of the last show of the tour, and after this… He doesn't get to sing about you for a while. The other band members want a break and it's more than reasonable, he knows. They have families, husbands and wives and happy relationships that deserve tending. He's bitter, but not outwardly enough to try and deny them their love.

He can always go solo for a while, if he really wants to torture himself.

"I've tried and I'll try again. You are my friend. This is not the end."

Maybe he'll go break his own heart again instead. By the time the rest of the band is ready to reconvene, he may just have their next album written. It's been a whirlwind in the months following Chicago, and if there's one thing he's been able to learn during his career, it's that his fans love his pain just as much as they love how he parties. They'll listen to almost anything he wants to talk about— Fucking, fighting, crying, it's all the same to them. His self-destructive misery makes them feel better about their own lives, after all. It's as addicting as cocaine to hear a man spill out his life's woes alongside an insane guitar solo.

He thinks maybe he should keep some of the songs he writes for other people, just to fuck with his fans a bit. Imagine if he didn't sell that one song to Ariana Grande? The reactions would be priceless.

You'd be able to call him out easily though. You're one of the very few people in this world that really sees through the bullshit and knows his passion for what it is.

But why couldn't you accept it? Accept him?

"I can't keep doing this, Renji! Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll— that's your thing! Not mine."

"Well tell me you liked the sex, at least."

Mm, actually he understands entirely why you couldn't.

The crowd cheers and screams and snaps their blurry little photos no one will look at as the music finishes out, and without sparing anyone a glance or thanking everybody for a wonderfully successful tour, Renji's lighting a smoke and walking off stage. It's a dick move but he'll get away with it, as is immediately proven by how they don't stop cheering as he walks out of their view.

The music video finishes off with a shot of Renji walking away, his toned back hidden by the curtain of his fiery red hair. It's gotten so much longer since the first time you saw him. He's always been a gorgeous man, truly. If you could love him on looks alone, you'd still be together now.

With an hour left before the diner closes, you've got a single customer in the entire place and you certainly hope to God he'll tip you well as you approach him with a plastered-on smile to pour him his odd request of a fresh cup of coffee at this late hour. Making ends meet has been rough, and your poor momma works just as hard as you do— you don't know what you'd give if it meant she could finally relax and put her feet up, knowing she'll be taken care of and that you'll be okay too.

Your last guest is handsome at least, with flaming hair that sits around his shoulders and with facial tattoos that surprisingly aren't ugly! You didn't think it could be done, but this random man in the diner has proven you wrong. His hairline puts anime's most prideful loser to shame, but he's still incredibly cute. He's got a napkin out and writes in complete chicken scratch, and his lips move softly as he notates what's on his mind.

"'Hey momma, it's me, your oldest son.'" He murmurs to himself, and oh good lord he's in a band, isn't he? With mommy issues on top of that??

"Your food will be out shortly." You tell him softly, not trying to break his flow. And his eyes never leave the napkin as he keeps writing, but just as you walk away he speaks.

"How late is this place open?"

You glance over your shoulder at him. "Just until midnight."

He nods to himself, scribbling down another lyric. "More than enough time. Thank you."

"Of course, sir."

"Renji."

"He did tip well, at least." You mutter and close out the video as you push away the memory; that night changed your life for several years. How dumb you were in those days! Skipped town with a man you only just met, and a budding rockstar of all people. Your poor mother was worried sick until he returned you home several weeks later, but in the end it had to have been worth it for her— Renji bought her a beautiful house at the very first opportunity he had.

The very house you're currently all alone and watching your former fiancé's music videos in.

In your recommended section is a video you must've seen a thousand times by now. It's an interview Renji had absolutely no business doing for several reasons— he was too famous for the interviewer, namely, not to mention he wasn't sober at all. They always catch him when he's under the influence, don't they? It's their best chance to squeeze out the juicy details of his broken life, their best chance to get real stories behind the pretty words he sings, and anger flickers deep in your soul at how abused he is by others. It's bad enough what he does to himself, but the way his pain is seen as a commodity for likes, views and clicks ignites a rage unlike anything else you've ever felt.

"Your new single, Wolf, what's it about?"

Renji takes a drag from his cigarette, flicking the ashy remains onto the floor. It's a dick move and he's not too fucked up to not realize it, but it's this fucking guy's own fault for inviting him. "Think it's pretty clear."

"Well from what I've interpreted, it's about heartbreak."

"It's about my fucking life being ruined, if you wanna get more specific."

"It's by your own hand though, correct? You've got quite the history of self-destruction, arrests, your drug and alcohol addictions…"

Renji groans to himself. "Can't a guy fuck up in peace? Yeah, sure. I did it to myself, 'cause fuck being happy. You think that's how I like to live?" He flicks away more ashes from the cigarette, not even bothering to take a pull from it now and far more interested in fucking up the flooring.

"Can I be honest with you?"

Renji snorts. "Sure. Nobody else is, so why not?"

"I do think that's how you like to live, Renji."

It's quiet for just a moment, but the redhead recovers with a small laugh. "Guess I deserve that."

"In 'Wolf', there's a lyric that stood out to me. "I was born to rock and now I gotta roll." This is after you say you've given someone your heart and soul— most people don't abandon such a commitment."

Renji's jaw ticks. Why the hell did he come on this show again? To be called out and humiliated on camera?? "I didn't do it for fun, or because I wanted to— I didn't have a choice. It was either stay with her and be happy and lose my goddamn self, or follow the music because I don't know who I am without it and lose her in the process."

"Why not find it? You could be a husband, a father… And still be a musician too."

"But will assholes like you still listen if I sing about tucking my kid in instead of screaming about my mommy issues? Hm? None of you fuckers want me or any other “celebrity” to be happy, ‘cause you don't get your money from that shit. What's gonna get you more views, huh? A picture of me getting married or my latest fuckin’ mugshot?"

For the first time, the interviewer is speechless and Renji flicks the remnants of his smoke at the man before walking off the set, swearing up a storm and kicking things over on his way out.

You sigh and look at the old, faded photo pinned to the corkboard on the wall. Even with the age of the polaroid, Renji's crimson hair still burns bright, just like his smile. His big, stupid mouth is curled into the prettiest smile you've ever seen, with teeth blindingly white despite his smoking habit. Still, you fondly drag your finger down the photo, smiling so gently that your eyes only crinkle softly. The day this photo was taken was amazing, and no matter the tension or the burned bridge between you now, the memory of that day and the good times you had all the time during that era raises your spirits as needed.

The ticking of the clock on the wall reminds you of yourself— it's time you get ready for work at the diner. You never thought you'd be working until midnight at a shitty diner again after you left Chicago all those years ago, but time is nothing but a flat circle, it seems. With a sigh, you pull on your uniform and tie the laces of your matching pink sneakers.

But you don't make it past the front door's threshold before your phone's ringing from a number you haven't communicated with in quite some time.

"Ichigo?" You haven't been too particularly close with him in several years— he was always Renji's friend and rival, though you did have a mean streak on Snapchat still going several years after starting it. "If this is about our streak, I'll send it when I get to work."

"It's not." His voice is somber, and the sound of his sends your skin in a carefully crawling panic. "I just thought you should know about Renji."

"... What about Renji?"

"He's in the hospital."

He hates needles.

"Is he acting up?" If he's acting a fool, he's fine and there's no real need to worry.

But then Ichigo wouldn't be calling, would he?

"He overdosed last night during a party." Ichigo murmurs quietly. “I know it's asking a lot, but… Can I fly you to California?"

Ichigo counts the seconds of silence as you contemplate the idea. He's right, it is asking a lot. Your past with Renji is muddied and his obvious remaining love for you isn't enough to erase that terrible history, even with your own heart constantly pouring out love for the man at every single glimpse of him. He was born to rock and he had to roll; isn't that what he sang?

‘And I’m, I'm burying my pain into somebody else.’ He sang that, too.

"What purpose do you think that'll serve?" Your murmur isn't cold nor laced with any sort of venom or loathing; you're already just a soft breeze away from caving in and calling the diner (again) to tell them you're skipping town for a while— for Renji. It's ultimately Ichigo that'll make the decision that determines if your mother returns from her bridge session to an empty house and a Post-It note with too few details on it.

History repeats itself in the oddest of ways, in the most unexpected of times.

"Renji needs someone." Ichigo's pleading is pitiful and awfully unlike him; desperation doesn't suit him one bit. "A lot of things have changed that you don't know about… I can't look after him anymore."

"Look after him?" A sly, mischievous little smile tilts your lips at how you recall the old days with the old group, where Renji and Ichigo went head-to-head on the dumbest arguments, stupid ideas and drinking contests just about every day and night. "You remember yourself in a much better light than I do."

Despite himself, your old friend laughs on the other end. "I'm a father now, with responsibilities! That old way of life is behind me."

You laugh with him and step back into the house, jogging upstairs to your bedroom once again. "Give me my flight details as soon as you can."

"Thank you."

That old Polaroid on the wall brings a spark to your heart this time, rather than the feeling of emptiness and nostalgia it usually does.

"Baby, I met you in downtown Chicago." You sing under your breath, just as your phone lights up with the information that sets a fire up under your ass to pack quickly— that jerk chose a flight that departs in three hours!

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

the spine spg autism/masking allegory mini essay but i just ramble incoherently the whole time . the second ^_^

the spine shows multiple multiple signs and symptoms of autism throughout various concerts, songs, and various other canon material.

One of these signs is his hyperfixation/special interest in cowboys and dinosaurs. His cowboy special interest is a decently big part of his character, he has a repeating bit in live concerts where he pretends he and the other automatons (to my knowledge it only happens in the MK III era? so rabbit and hatchworth) are in the wild west, in a rex marksley live performance hatchworth says the spine has been "so excited to come down here and sing his western songs, hes been talking about it for months" (the spine's also always the one to start rex marksley or suggest they play it), most of his solo songs are at least influenced by country/western music (i.e: hot on the trail, bad days on the horizon, me and my baby (saturday nights), automatonic electronic harmonics). And more but I'm kinda rambling now. He shares a dinosaur interest with zer0, there's a running gag where they get in fights over their dinosaur figures. He has a video on the band's youtube channel called Fun Facts with The Spine, which is. Fun Dinosaur Facts. with The Spine. He also roasts the viewer's gaming computer.

He has a ton of gags in live concerts where he shows various signs of autism but that'd just turn into rambling. This essay's going to focus on his masking themes.

For backstory, The Spine accepted an upgrade in the 50s. The upgrade was to change his design from more robot-like to look more like a human. Upgrade on the left, before (and after) on the right.

A few years later, he switched back to his before design, symbolizing his narrative of learning how to let himself stop pretending.

The next thing I'll talk about are the songs Cellophane, Wired Wrong, and Hot on the Trail.

The song Cellophane is a cover, the original song is by Sia. The chorus, "Can't you see I'm wrapped in cellophane / Watch the blood pump through my veins / Electricity floods my brain / Can't hide the pain, can't hide the pain / When you're wrapped in cellophane" is about him worrying about people seeing who he really is. When you've spent your whole life pretending it's hard to see what's you and what isn't. It being a cover adds to his narrative, it wouldn't be repression if it was his own words.

Wired Wrong is a song from the album MK III. The song starts with the lyrics, "My brain is wired all wrong / And they'll agree because it's easier to say I am gone / It's time to face the truth in a song / I've always told myself that it was never true / Was never true / Was never ever ever true / It can't be true / It can't be true / It must not be true" and reprises that with "Sometimes I think that I am the only one / Who's been built poor in the way that he runs / But how can that be? / Am I really that flawed? / I am not the only one" It's very easy to see how that would be a neurodivergence allegory. It's a bitter questioning-acceptance song. David Bennett said that he wrote the song about his experiences with mental issues.

Hot on the Trail is a song from the album 1896. I interpret the song as a rage-ish-acceptance song (about a semi-abusive relationship?). It's a faster and more emotional song than the rest of The Spine's songs. The lyrics "Well, you don't like that way that I am / It's not the way that you want and the way you understand / But I can't help being the way that I am / It's just the way that it is and what I know, so sorry about / All of these things that I be and I know / It's all me and not you, but this ain't how I wish it to be / For you and your way and I know it's all me / Just know that I know, I know it's all on me" "All the little pieces make up so much sense in the distance" "So sorry about all of these things that you didn't sign up for / And I don't wish the pain on you, it's so sore / But I've been honest to fault, but it doesn't help / I know that it hurts, and it hurts, and it keeps on hurting" "And I didn't know what, what to do / I told myself the truth, the truth / And I could understand and you could understand / But how could we stand when there was nowhere to stand?" " And you don't like what it is (you don't like what it is) / And you don't know what it is (you don't know what it is) / And I can't sum it up easily / But I know what it is that I plainly see / Yeah, who could have liked what it was? / It caused such a fuss" are very autism coded. "all the little pieces make up so much sense in the distance" "I told myself the truth, the truth" are very relatable to me and how I felt realizing I was autistic, "I told myself the truth, the truth" also connects to "its time to face the truth in a song // it cant be true / it cant be true / it must not be true" from Wired Wrong.

In conclusion of my shitty little essay, The Spine is an autism allegory. His narrative is objectively based on masking and pretending/trying to be something you're not and never will be.

[circusjuney]

10 random facts about me!!!

thank you sm @flovoid for the tag my friend!!!!! <3

i am a singer!!! i grew up singing my entire life, and it's actually my dream to make at least one album. idk if i'll make multiple but i really want to make just one. probably some sort of rock album

i'm a horror freak through and through. i mostly only watch horror movies and tbh for a while i've wanted to try my hand at some horror sims content but i didn't want to make anything that might scare people off ghfdsg. btw my fav horror series are the v/h/s series and terrifier (except all hallows eve srry damien) ✌️

my favorite bands are system of a down, deftones, pierce the veil, mcr, radiohead, and i have another one but tbh i'm too embarrassed to admit it on the internet <3

bugs are a special interest of mine and i just enrolled in a zoology course at my uni to hopefully learn more about them :,) learning on my own is hard tbh because there is a LOT of misinformation about bugs on the internet so i wanted to properly learn in a school environment and i hope to someday work with insects!! bugs!!!! yesss!!!

i love clowns... this one kind of ties in with the horror fact tbh because i mostly love scary horror clowns!!!! they're just so fucking cool to me idk!!! literally some of my favorite horror movies ever are clown related like terrifier and killer klowns from outer space. also the luna clown from scooby doo can hmu whenever i'm free everyday

my username is circusjuney mostly just because i love clowns but also because of circus baby from fnaf!!! fnaf is another special interest of mine and i wanted a username that tied in some of my interests like that. however i've thought about changing it bc some people call me circus instead of my name 😭

my favorite color is orange bc it's the color of pumpkins and autumn leaves and halloween and it's all my favorite things! :,)

i am lowkey a musical theater lover but i really mostly love random songs from diff musicals and haven't had the chance to go through most shows all the way through except for waitress (my fav) and hamilton which i unfortunately can recite the entirety of 😔 in my final 2 years of high school i joined a performing arts program and spent half of everyday at a different school taking theater classes!! i joined the tech crew towards the end bc being forced to perform was doing numbers on me mentally 😝

my fav food is a breakfast sandwich <3 gimme a bagel or a brioche bun with some bacon and eggs and cheese and other fun stuff.......... eating that makes my hearts go up like in minecraft

and lastly um... idk...... i'm running out of facts........ the last fact is that............ ily <3 <3 <3 i am a pretty sappy person tbh and i have so much love in my heart it kinda hurts sometimes <3 <3 <3 so i'm giving it to you now so that it hurts less <3 <3

now im tagging @butteredfrogs @living-undead @youredreamingofroo @zleepyhollow @blueyjoy @mmonetsims @kuroashims if you've done this already or don't wanna just ignore!!!

also i feel so bad i have not been keeping up on tumblr at all bc i wake up play minecraft and go back to bed it's bad fhjdskgdasklgkdfj so sorry for my inactivity <3 <3 <3

[black-arcana]

BATTLE BEAST's NOORA LOUHIMO Shares Message In Support Of Pride Month

BATTLE BEAST's Noora Louhimo has shared a message in support of LGBTQ+ Pride Month. Taking place in June, Pride Month is a time when the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, their supporters, and allies come together to celebrate love, diversity, acceptance, and unashamed self-pride.

On Saturday (June 1),Noora took to her Instagram to write: "WONDERFUL PRIDE month for LBTGQ+ communities and everyone who agrees for equal love, self and sexuality. I hope that one day we could live in a world where equality would be the norm in all communities.

"As a woman, I unfortunately still face unequal treatment and a certain kind of sexism seems to be built into people's core behavior (which comes from home education) and some don't even realize they are sexist. Also women towards other women and themselves. For example, it is really sad to see/hear women criticizing other women and their sexual expression or showy appearance/dressing. EVERYONE'S OWN LOOK has been the only way for women to express themselves and their own values since time immemorial. The cloak of shame was not invented by women. But unfortunately, instead of encouraging self-expression, we bark and be mean. What one says about another comes from how you see yourself and your own fear.

"Let's take off those cloaks of shame and burn them at the stake. Let's be on each other's side. Let's be on the side of those who need it. Let's jump into other people's shoes and understand that equal treatment is not an everyday life for everyone, but a struggle for it every day.

"The fact that I dress the way I want, demand respectful and equal treatment, am strong-willed, ambitious and determined, speak up for others and myself does not make me a 'bitch'. Crying, talking about my feelings/thoughts and being emotional to everyone doesn't make me weak. It makes me strong and happy when I am openly myself. At the same time, I want to encourage and support others to do the same.

"THIS IS WHY I HAVE THE BATTLE VITCH HORNS OF COURAGE. And I will always continue to fight for equality. In this world, evil is putting oneself above others, narrow realities and being greedy.

"I hope that I can have at least a little influence on how people treat each other with my own example.

"LOVE AND PEACE AND PRIDE

"#pride #equality #humanity #goodvalues #selfesteem #thecloakofshame #proudtobeme #proudofyou"

Louhimo revealed in November that she had been diagnosed with a ruptured left carotid artery, causing the postponement the band's tour. The 35-year-old Finnish musician has since said in an interview that she has "definitely started doing more warm-up before any singing and warming down and taking care of my overall health even more than before." She added: "I really appreciate life more now. I'm thankful for each and every day and every moment that I get to live, I get to love, I get to see. I get to see people. I get to be with my loved ones and with my animals here at home. And now I get to tour in the places that I've always dreamed of. And it's not something that you should take [for] granted."

When Louhimo first revealed her diagnosis seven months ago, she wrote on her social media: "I went to be examined because of a weird pain in the left side of my neck, throat, ear and chin. At ultrasound examination the doctor found the rupture that had already started healing, and he saved my life. I was hospitalized for more exams and finally got confirmation of the situation. I was ordered to have a break on everything that might stress or increase my blood pressure for the next month. Otherwise, I could have a stroke. As you know how passionate I am as a singer and performer, the blood pressure getting high is a guarantee. So, I did not want to take the risk to die with my boots on, not quite yet".

Louhimo joined BATTLE BEAST in 2012 with no previous experience as a metal vocalist but quickly acclimated herself as the replacement for Nitte Valo (a.k.a. Nitte Vänskä).

Less than two years ago, Noora, who in 2021 released her debut solo album, "Eternal Wheel Of Time And Space", under the NOORA LOUHIMO EXPERIENCE banner, admitted publicly that she had been struggling with eating disorders and her weight since she was "a little child" and said that she was "still trying to find a balance." She added that she had "been depressed and anxious sometimes 'without a reason'."

[emery-matsushita-vt]

15 Questions for 15 Friends

Tagged by @squidhominid!

Are you named after anyone?

sort of, indirectly! I share a name with a band, who apparently named themselves after a person one of the members met once. I only learned of this a couple years ago

When was the last time you cried?

uhhhh probably a few months ago? it's not super frequent these days and I don't really keep track or anything but it does hit from time to time

Do you have kids?

I don't, and I expect that I never will

What sports do/have you played?

I'm counting skateboarding as a sport, of course, but for more traditional sports I've done everything from (american) football to baseball to basketball to tennis. a bit of disc golf with friends in the past. I enjoy sports! I just don't get to play them a whole lot

Do you use sarcasm?

idk man maybe. I try to at least change the inflection of my voice to make it more obvious tho so it doesn't just fly over people's heads

What is the first thing you notice about people?

their hair. that is always how I identify people

What's your eye color?

blue like tony hawk's shirt in thps2

Scary movies, or happy endings?

scary movies I guess, but really I just like tragedies. people doing their best and stuff going wrong anyway is always interesting to me

Any talents?

somebody once told me that I am a vtuber and I have not yet been able to disprove it also I play guitar and can sing a bit

Where were you born?

I was born of the womb of a poisonous man Beaten and broken and chased from the land But I rise up above it, high up above it and see

What are your hobbies?

skateboarding, gaming, watching anime, listening to music, streaming

Do you have any pets?

nope! don't wanna take care of one, and I'm somewhat allergic to common house pets too

How tall are you?

just a couple inches shy of 6 ft

Favorite subject in school?

recess ok actually I can't hide that it was math. my brain is made for math. it is not made for history/social studies. that one was always my weak point

Dream job?

not entirely sure, but for now, I guess taking my vtubing stuff further is what I want most out of a "career"

@hollerite @torstenerikssonvt @x-ladymacabre-x @florahydevt @kywylovelybeadvt @aurumatom @dollymollynanika @choolantanavt @aerink-vt @hellqueengaige @lilithsaga @glitcheddollvt @sleepynubis @guybitesatgames @axorcia

sorry if any of you have already been tagged!

[jfleamont]

purely off vibes I’m going for the Band AU

But I’d love to hear about Friends to lovers canon divergent AU as well

Hi Maya! Band AU? Say no more! Okay, this one's fun! I haven't written much so I can't really share a snippet at the moment, but I've outlined the plot so I'm gonna share that (or parts of it at least).

First year of uni, they have seen each other because they both perform at the local pub (Lily with Snape, James with Sirius, Remus and Peter) but they officially meet at a Halloween party and things don't go well: James is a bit of a music snob to her on purpose because she's friends with Snape and thinks she deserves it. She obviously gets annoyed and they don't speak to each other for the rest of the year.

It's second year, months after her big argument with Snape and James and Lily meet again but this time at a house party with karaoke. He sings, Lily watches for a bit but then retreats to the balcony. After the song he walks outside to smoke and meets Lily there. He asks where Snape is, she simply says they're not friends anymore; their conversation is somewhat civil, but still brief. Some time passes, and Lily and Remus are studying at the student union while James appears out of nowhere. She's a bit cold to him (not really, she's just focused on studying), then James asks Remus if he wants to go to the cinema and Lily can come too. It's an olive branch, and she'd take it, but tells them that she has a date. In the following weeks they meet at more open mic nights, and afterwards Lily starts hanging out with the Marauders more. By December, James and Lily are sort of friendly but the band is having trouble finding a new bassist since Peter suddenly left (he's from another uni and hates commuting) so she tells them she can fill in for him just this time, but by mid January she's played with them a few times already and they ask her to join the band; they start performing more seriously from then on, and write music together, then spend their summer playing gigs (very small ones, in dingy bars in remote towns all over England, Scotland and Wales).

There's a time jump (I still haven't decided whether their undergrad degree is 3 or 4 years) and now they're months away from graduation. James and Lily are just friends, but they secretly have feelings for each other: they're afraid of being rejected, and on top of that they don't want to jeopardise everything and risk making things awkward because the band means too much to both of them. The band has a decent following, they even record some songs in the studio and release them independently. They receive a couple of offers from labels and they end up signing shortly after graduation. Some of them get a summer job, but they also start working on their album; they start touring as supporting acts for other artists in the following year, get more radio play, perform at a few festivals... and then it's time to release their first album, and when one of their songs goes viral, things change pretty quickly.

If this seems like spoiling the entire plot... don't worry. This is just the first half (not even that, probably just the first of three acts) of the story, and I'm sure this will be a beast to write with all the research I'm going to have to do. I'm scared honestly!

Sorry for the late reply, I meant to post this yesterday but it turns out that you can't edit a post on the mobile app if you started writing in on your laptop :/

[redlegumes]

Written for @eddiemunsonbingo

Square: C1 Slow Burn

Title: Slow Burn

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 329 (The art is the submission)

Ship(s): Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington, Steddie

Major Tags: Love Confession, Song Lyrics, Rockstar Eddie Munson

Summary: Art submission for Eddie Munson Bingo with a little ficlet for context. Eddie Munson performs a song for his secret love on Saturday Night Live wearing nothing but his guitar and combat boots.

Link: AO3

So instead of Kacey Musgraves, Eddie (with Corroded Coffin, new band, or solo - whichever) is the first person on Saturday Night Live to perform completely nude (apart from the boots).

~Ficlet below the cut~

No one is surprised that Eddie would pull something so risqué. After a few underwear trial runs, everyone concedes that the guitar covers more of his body than expected. More than at least one of the suggested alternative outfits for his SNL spot.

However people are surprised, that while Eddie's first performance in the show was of his latest single with his traditional electric guitar and blaring vocals, the nude performance isn't just physically 'stripped down.'

He's chosen to play an older single on his acoustic he's used since high school to write songs on. It's considered even odder that the song he's playing is one he did live three years ago, the last time he was on SNL.

All the 'creatives' agree that the number works. The shock of the tonal shift in Eddie's proposed pitch sells the executives as something marketable. Whispers of it definitely likely to 'go viral' get the whole thing approved.

'Slow Burn' did well on the charts, but this version... without the drums and the electric guitar the song sounds so much more personal, vulnerable. It's much clearer that it's a love song. Eddie even dropped the tempo down. The whole thing is downright romantic. There'd been a long rumored 'muse' for Eddie Munson, and all week the cast speculated who it could be; who made the famously wild, controversial, and tatted musician sing like that?

Saturday night finally comes, and Eddie plays the song with 'bisexual lighting' that eventually becomes redder and redder. At the same time, burning fire graphics grow visually stronger, displayed behind him.

When it ends he looks out into the audience and says, "Steve, you gotta know by now that I wrote this for you. I wanted the world to know I've loved every second of our slow burn."

The camera pans up to a handsome man in the gallery, light sparkling in teary eyes, his hand gripping the fabric of his shirt over his heart.