#i. joey tribbiani / interactions.

[thealtoduck]

The One Where A Model Moves In Upstairs

Joey Tribbiani x Male Reader

Warnings: Implied abuse from your ex, the guys assume you’re a girl…

Summary: The guys find out that a model moved in to the apartment above Joey and Chandler’s…

——

Rachel and Monica walked towards the enterance of their apartment building where they saw a moving truck parked outside filled with boxes and furniture. ”Is someone moving in?” Rachel questioned. ”Yeah, i heard that someone got the apartment above Joey and Chandler” Monica explained.

”Come on, let’s go welcome them” Rachel said, Monica uttred a quick ”Yeah” in agreement amd the two made their way over. A young man came out from the apartmen building and picked up one of the boxes.

Rachel and Monica immediately noticed how handsome he was. Rachel could have sworn she’d seen him before somewhere. ”Hi, excuse us, are you the one moving in to this building?” Rachel asked. ”Yeah, i am, do you live here?” you questioned cheerfully.

”Yeah, we live on the third floor, I’m Monica and this is Rachel” Monica introduced the two. ”Nice to meet you two, I’m Y/n, I’m moving on to the fourth floor” you told them. Rachel then had a moment of realisation. ”Oh my god” she exclaimed. ”Now i remember you’re the model Y/n L/n” she said excitedly and you nodded in confirmation.

”I loved the photoshoot you did for Vogue last month” Rachel said. ”Thank you so much, it’s always nice to meet people who appreciate my work” you thanked her. Monica then gave a look at the truck behind you. ”Would you like some help bringing up all the boxes?” she offered.

”I mean if you don’t mind some help would be really nice” you said. The two then helped you bring all the boxes up to the apartment.

——

Later that day when Rachel and Monica were back in their apartment Joey entered taking some food from the fridge as usual. ”Hey Joey” Rachel greeted. ”Hey Rachel” Joey said mouth full of food. ”Did you meet the model?” she asked.

”The model?” Joey questioned, his interest peaking. ”Yeah, a model moved in to the apartment above yours” Monica told him. ”Really? Was she hot? Bet she’s a real smoke show” Joey asked and started fantasizing.

”Uhm… Joey the model is a gu-” Monica tried but Joey cut her off saying excitedly ”I gotta go tell Chandler” and he walked out the door back to his own apartment. ”Should-… Should we tell him?” Rachel asked. ”No, he needs to learn to listen. Plus, this will be more fun” Monica said.

——

While you were unpacking cardboard boxes there came an eager knock on the door. You got up from the floor and walked to the door. You opened it and your eyes were met with three rather handsome guys, one of which were leaning against the doorframe, all their eyes widened slightly once they saw you.

”Hi, can i help you?” you greeted. ”Uhm, is your sister home?” One of them asked. ”I don’t have a sister” you answered awkwardly. ”Is your mom home?” Another one tried. ”No, she dosen’t live here” you told them. ”The model! Where’s the model?!” The guy who had been leaning against the door yelled in deperation.

”Oh… I’m the model” you told the three, making their eyes widen again. ”Welcome to the building” a guy with brown hair said nicely and a guy with short black hair added a quick ”Yeah”. The two then sprinted away in embarassment. Leaving only the guy who had been leaning against the doorframe.

His suprised face then turned in to a flirty smile and he said ”How you doin’?”. ”I’m fine” you said a bit stunned from the interaction with the other two. ”Heard from my friends that you just moved in and wanted to personally come welcome you” he explained. ”I’m Joey Tribbiani, and if you ever need anything i’m just one apartment below” he introduced himself charmingly.

”Nice to meet you Joey, I’m Y/n L/n” you told him.

——

Joey was having a major crisis, he had been flirting with a guy. He’d never done that before in his whole life, but you were so breathtakingly beautiful he couldn’t help himself. Now he didn’t know what to do.

He entered the central perk where the others were waiting. ”Hey Joey, what’s up?” Phoebe greeted. ”Hey, it’s nothing, it’s just this guy Y/n, he’s so awesome but in like the way chicks are awesome, it’s so confusing”. The friends gave each other a look before looking back at Joey.

Monica then voiced their thoughts by asking ”Joey, are you trying to say you’re ”intrigued” by a guy?”. ”Maybe, i’m not sure” he said. ”Well-Well-Well looks like Joey the ladiesman has become Joey the mansman” Ross joked.

”Hey Joey Tribbiani is for everybodies enjoyment, okay?” Joey stated seriously.

”Are you gonna ask him out?” Rachel asked. ”I don’t know, how do you even go about asking a guy out?” Joey questioned, which was followed by a long thinking silence. ”How do you girls ask guys out?” Ross asked looking at Rachel, Phoebe and Monica.

”We don’t know, guys usually asks us out” Phoebe said and the other two nodded in agreement. ”Guess you’ll just have to figure it out” Chandler said leaving Joey to his thoughts.

——

Next time you and Joey met he would get his chance to talk to you. You were awkwardly dragging a large package up the stairs. Joey then appeared from the bottom stairs saying ”Hey Y/n, what’s in the package?”.

”It’s my new dinner table, could you help me get it up to my apartment?” you asked. ”Of course” Joey said eagerly, immediately grabbing the package and helping you carry it. Once you entered the apartment you put the package down.

”Thanks you so much for the help, Joey” you said gratefully, you kneeled down and started opening the package. ”No problem, will you be fine from here?” he asked helpfully. You then picked up a thick building manual from the package as realisation kicked in, you looked up at Joey from the ground and said ”No, i don’t think so”.

”I’ll get some tools” Joey said opening the door and went down to get a toolbox in his apartment.

”Thank you” you called after him.

——

After several hours of trials and tribulations you and Joey had managed to put together the dinner table. ”Thank you so much, Joey, anything you need just ask, i promise i’ll do something nice for you” you thanked him gratefully. Joey smiled and saw his moment.

”Well there was one thing i wanted to ask you-” he started but was cut off by a large banging on the door.

”Y/n! Are you there?” A male voice asked, Joey went to open the door but you stopped him saying ”Don’t open the door, it’s my ex, i really don’t wanna see him”. Joey noticed how tense you had become.

Another set of violent knocks came. ”Y/n! I know you’re in there! Open the door!” his voice came again, louder this time. ”Go to your room, i’ll take care of him” Joey told you. ”Joey, I-” you started but Joey reasured you ”Don’t worry i’ll handle him”. You did as told and went in to your bedroom.

Joey opened the door and was met with another man. The man seemed suprised seeing Joey ”Who are you?” he asked. ”I’m Joey. You should get out of here, man, Y/n dosen’t wanna see you” Joey told him patiently. ”I just want to talk to him” your ex said and tried to make his way in only for Joey to block his enterance with his arm.

”I said he dosen’t wanna see you” Joey said sternly. The guy grew annoyed and hissed ”Hey, this is none of you business, man, so stay out of it and let me in”. ”It is my business if you’re harassing one of my friends, so get out of here now before we call the police” Joey threatened.

Your ex glared at Joey before stomping away angrily, Joey closed the door and locked it. You came out of you room saying gratefully ”Thank you, Joey”. ”Hey, no problem-” he was caught of guard as you wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug.

Joey then hugged you back saying ”If he comes back, you let me know and i’ll deal with him, okay?”. ”Thank you” you said putting you face against his shoulder. ”Was there something you wanted to ask before?” you then remembered.

It hardly felt like the right time to ask you out so Joey settled for ”Me and the others were planning on grabbing some pizza and rent a movie, would you like to join us?”.

You smiled and answered ”I’d love to”.

[ichorai]

blueberries ; two.

pairing ; joey tribbiani x gn!reader chapter synopsis ; the one with hockey pucks, double dates, and blackouts. wc ; 5.8k warnings / includes ; talks of sex/suggestive content, mild cursing, joey being an idiot

series masterlist. main masterlist.

The brightness of the hospital’s buzzing white lights made your head pound, and you quickened your pace until you were jogging down the hall to the waiting room. There, you saw Ross, Joey, and Chandler. The former two were wearing a variety of Hockey merch, and Ross was wearing his regular attire, though accompanied with a slightly crooked nose and a busted lip.

“Oh, my God, Ross!” you exclaimed, rushing to the trio. You gave Ross a quick hug, before pulling away to inspect the damage up close. “What happened? Are you okay? Sorry, I just got your voicemail when I got back from work and I came here as soon as I could.”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’m feeling a bit better now—or that might just be because of nerve damage. I don’t know,” Ross simpered, cradling a hockey puck in his hands. “This hit me in the face at the game.”

“Man, that must’ve hurt. You sure you’re okay? Where’s Monica and the girls?”

Ross lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “They were having a slumber party and I didn’t want to bother them. I knew you wouldn’t be doing anything important tonight, so I left you a message instead.”

A mild scowl danced over your features. “Gee, thanks, Ross. I mean, you’re right, but you didn’t have to say it.” You swung your gaze to Chandler and Joey, who looked just as tired as Ross was, if not more so. “What happened to you guys?”

“Ross wouldn’t stop talking about his… first time consummating with Carol,” Chandler groaned, pulling at the skin of his face in frustration. “Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling of an orgasm, we get it! Could I get some painkillers over here, please?”

Joey nodded his agreement. “He’s right, enough already! What’s the big deal about today, anyway? So you slept with her for the first time today—you slept with her for seven whole years after that!”

Curious, you sank down into a chair beside Ross, regarding him with narrowed eyes. 

“It’s just… a little more complicated than that.”

“Well, what is it?” asked Chandler. “That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?”

Ross shot his friend a half-hearted glare. “A little louder, I think there’s a man on the twelfth floor in a coma who didn’t quite hear you!” Swallowing slightly, he sighed out, “My first time with Carol was… It was…”

You placed a comforting hand on his knee. “It was your first time ever?” you asked sympathetically.

Pursing his lips to the side, Ross nodded. 

Chandler and Joey appeared shocked. “Oh,” they both murmured at the same time. 

“So, in your entire life, there’s only been one—?” Chandler began, almost timidly.

“Man, hockey was a big mistake,” piped Joey. “There’s a whole bunch of other things we could’ve done tonight!”

Before you could reply with a scathing remark, a doctor called out Ross’ name, and he got up and quickly scampered away, most likely embarrassed to no end.

You gave Joey’s shoulder a shove once he was completely out of sight. “Can you at least be a little empathetic for him? No wonder he was being extra mopey today—he must feel awful about it.”

“I just can’t believe he’s only been with Carol,” Joey said, still stunned, and feeling a bit guilty.

“I think it’s great,” said Chandler. “It’s sweet. It’s romantic.”

You cocked your head at him incredulously. “Really?”

“God, no, he’s a total freak!”

“Oh, piss off, Chandler. What does it matter if he’s only been with one person? Body count doesn’t matter at all, you know,” you hissed, still feeling particularly sensitive about the whole ordeal with the waitress and how she had used you as a homewrecker. 

Joey rubbed your shoulder in a placating manner, and you placed your hand on top of his with a reassuring smile. 

Chandler watched the interaction, narrowing his eyes. “What’s with you two lately?”

“What?” the two of you both said at once. His hand fell away from yours.

“I don’t know, you guys just both seem off. Did something happen? Did you sleep together or something?”

“No!” you said, a bit too quickly, wrinkling your nose. Technically you did sleep with him, just not in the way Chandler was insinuating. “No, Joey just helped me out with some personal things. It’s no big deal.”

Before Chandler could ask more about it, Ross walked back out to the waiting room, and you bolted out of the chair, quickly grabbing Ross’ arm and leading him out of the hospital. 

The next morning, you strode into the cafe with droopy eyes, yawning behind a fist, plopping down on the sofa between Phoebe and Chandler. The group was discussing… bras? Honestly, you were too tired to comprehend what they were talking about, so you just nodded along and stole sips from Phoebe’s mug of coffee.

“You know what actually blows my mind?” said Joey. “Women can see breasts anytime they want!”

“Jo, honey, men have breasts, too,” you put forth, a bit more awake now that you’ve had some coffee. “Just because they’re flat doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

He sighed dreamily. “I wish I had ‘em. Just look down, and there they are! How any of you get work done is beyond me.”

“You know what I wanna know? How guys can say such mean things and not even care,” said Phoebe, playing with the silver rings on her fingers. 

The group fell into silence, before Ross snapped his fingers. “Multiple orgasms!”

By now, you’d completely lost track of where the conversation had gone, so you fished out a book from your bag and began reading, shifting so that Phoebe could lean against you as you read. 

“Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone,” reasoned Monica. 

“What?” You put your book down. “You’re breaking up with Janice?”

“Yeah,” he said, in a rather off-putting manner. “Didn’t know I had to tell you everything since you don’t bother with telling the rest of us about yourself.”

You blinked, sitting upright so quickly that Phoebe’s head slipped from your shoulder and she nearly face-planted into the couch. 

“What’s he talking about, Y/N?” asked Ross, looking worried. 

Your eyes shifted to briefly meet Joey’s concerned ones, but you averted your gaze to the ground shamefully.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you feel left out in any way, Chandler. I’m just not really comfortable telling the entire group right now. Is that okay?”

“Oh, honey, it’s okay,” said Phoebe from beside you, rubbing your knee in reassurance. “Take all the time you need.”

A bit dejected, Chandler nodded his head. “Yeah, I get that. Sorry if I was being too pushy. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, that’s all.”

A hint of a smile tugged the corner of your lips upward. “I’m okay, Chandler. I promise. But what’s this about Janice?”

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “It’s just so hard to break up with her! I mean, I’m sitting there, and she’s got no idea what’s happening… then there’s that awkward moment after I’ve handed her the note. Blurgh!” He shivered at the thought of it. 

“Why do you have to break up with her?” Joey postulated. “Just stop calling. Simple.”

It was then that a beautiful blonde woman in a form-fitting red dress strode into the cafe, heels clacking loudly against the wooden floors. You blinked—she looked so familiar—

“Hi, Joey,” she said flippantly as she passed by the couches, before taking a seat by the island. 

Once she was far enough not to be within earshot, Joey’s eyes widened and he whisper-yelled, “Holy shit, Angela.”

Right, Angela.

“Wow,” said Monica, craning her neck to try and get a good look at her. “Being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.”

“Are you gonna go over there?” Phoebe asked. 

“No!” said Joey. He looked back to her by the island. “Yes—no! Okay, but not yet. I don’t wanna seem too eager.”

You frowned when he started counting down the seconds under his breath. Not even five seconds later, he was already on his feet, off to speak to Angela. 

Rolling your eyes, you opened up your book back up again and began reading.

By the counter, Joey was perched on the seat beside Angela, inches away from her. 

“Forget it, Joey, I’m with Bob now!” said the blonde. 

“Bob? Who the hell’s Bob?”

“Well, Bob is great. He’s smart, sophisticated, and he’s got a real job! You, on the other hand, you go on three auditions a month and call yourself an actor! But Bob—”

Joey huffed, leaning closer to her. Her perfume was a bit too strong, and he could feel his eyes welling up from the sting, but he blinked the tears away. “Come on, Angela. We were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too!”

“Sorry, Joey. You said you wanted to be friends, and I respected that. And I could tell you had feelings for someone else while we were dating. Your heart just wasn’t in it!” Suddenly, she grabbed her purse, eager to get away from her ex as quickly as she could.

“Alright—so why don’t the four of us go out and have dinner tonight? Like a double date, or something,” Joey said, immediately regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Who the hell was going to be the fourth person? 

It seemed the same exact thing was going through Angela’s head, because she stopped in her tracks, turning back to Joey with quirked brows. “What ‘four of us’?”

“You and Bob, and me and my… uh, partner…” He glanced back to the sofa, where you were curled up to the side, nose buried in your book as you pretended like you were listening to Phoebe recounting how she once met an elf beneath a bridge. “My partner, Y/N. Yeah.”

—

Joey followed you around your kitchen as you made yourself lunch, looking ready to drop down to his knees and beg. Honestly, you weren’t even listening to what he was asking, but you thought it was funny how desperate he was.

“I’m telling you, this guy is perfect for you!”

You cocked a brow, flipping over the egg you were frying, before moving to grab spices. He was in the way of the cabinets, and refused to budge, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Ugh, Joey, I’m done going on double dates with you! Especially not after your dumb cousin who thought it was attractive to burp the alphabet right before we ate.” With a derisive huff, you placed your hands on his shoulders and firmly moved him to the side so you could grab the spices for your lunch. “Why don’t you ask Monica or something? I know she’s still looking for new men to sink her teeth into.”

“Well… I kinda sorta told Angela that you’d be comin’ already.”

You threw your hands up in the air. “Now why on earth would you do that?”

“Come on!” Joey pleaded, clasping his hands together. “This guy’s great, I promise. His name’s Bob, and he’s Angela’s… brother. He’s smart, sophisticated, and he has a real job! Unlike me, goin’ on three auditions a month and calling myself an actor. Please! I’m asking for a favor, here. I’m thinking if I do this for her brother, then Angela might come back to me.”

Biting down on your bottom lip, you turned to fully face him, surprised to see him so close to you. “What’s going on here, Joey? Before you saw Angela today you probably haven’t even thought about her since you dumped the poor girl. You sure you’re not jumping into something you really shouldn’t?”

Joey shook his head firmly. “Seeing her again made me realize that I made a huge mistake. I never should’ve broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?”

A moment of silence stretched thin between the two of you. 

You blew out a long sigh. “You owe me one.”

“I’ll owe you a million.”

God, he was giving you that look. The one where his eyebrows would divot and his eyes went all wide and pleading and his lips would pout ever so slightly. You frowned. 

“Fine.”

Joey enveloped you into a crushing hug, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek while exclaiming his thanks. You groaned in mock-disgust, wiping away the kiss and slapping his chest so he’d let go of you. 

When you turned back to the stove, your egg had already burned.

That night, Joey had showed up to your apartment about five minutes before the double date in a casual grey suit, fiddling with a tie hanging loosely around his neck. “Help me with this?” he asked as soon as you had opened the door, walking in to stand in front of the nearest mirror. 

Rolling your eyes to the ceiling, you grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to you, knotting the silky fabric neatly before patting his chest with satisfaction. 

“You clean up nice,” he told you sincerely, gaze flicking up and down your form. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you in something that wasn’t jeans.”

You glared at him. “Hey, at least I’m not the one that still doesn’t know how to tie a tie.”

Grinning, Joey pecked your cheek once again. “Thanks again for doin’ this. You’re really gonna like this guy, I promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, hot shot. Let’s just go.”

“Is that new perfume you’re wearing?” he asked as the two of you stepped out. He leaned down to sniff you while you were locking the door, and you swatted him away with a laugh. “I like it. Smells like blueberries.”

“Thanks,” you told him with a cheeky smile. “I got it at the dollar store for three bucks.”

He laughed, before ushering you along, his hand hovering over your lower back.

The two of you left your apartment at a relatively slow pace considering that you were already a little late to the date. Joey hailed a cab, and you were on your way to the fancy restaurant that Angela had picked.

Oh, man, he was hot. At least Joey wasn’t wrong about you liking this guy. Though, you did find it a bit weird how Angela was batting her eyelashes at her brother in a strangely seductive manner and kept pressing her breasts up against his arm. You weren’t one to judge, though, so you kept your mouth shut and smiled politely. 

“So, uh, where did you guys grow up?” You wanted to gag. You absolutely abhorred small talk. 

“Brooklyn Heights,” said Angela just as Bob replied with, “Cleveland.”

You were suddenly interested, taking a sip from your glass. “Oh, wow. I know what that’s like—a separated family is tough,” you said. 

The two across from you looked at you strangely, as if you’d grown horns out of your head. Angela looked like she wanted to say something, but Joey cleared his throat before she could, steering the conversation away to the food they were eating. 

Weird. 

Now that you thought about it, Bob had barely even looked your way since you came. You weren’t sure if you should’ve been offended or if something else was going on that Joey wasn’t telling you.

A while later, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, and Angela was quick to stand up as well, linking arms with you with a sweet smile and leading you away. 

“So… Bob, huh?” you said once the two of you were in the bathroom. “He seems like a great guy.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Angela said almost breathlessly, pulling out a tube of lipgloss from her purse and began touching up on her makeup. 

“It’s nice to meet a guy who’s smart and funny and has an emotional age beyond eight!” you said, mirroring her by fixing up your makeup as well. 

The blonde turned to you with a bashful grin. “You wanna know something else? He’s unbelievable in bed!”

You blinked. 

God damn it, Joey.

Either this was a sick, twisted case of incest between siblings, or… or Joey lied to you. 

You weren’t entirely sure which you preferred it to be.

“Oh, that’s…” Your words trailed off and you forced a wide, unnatural smile. “I’m gonna go talk to Joey for a second, alright?”

You rushed out of the bathroom so quickly that you didn’t catch her confused expression on the way out. Storming back up to the table, you grabbed Joey’s arm and shot Bob a sickly sweet grin. 

“Sorry, I’m just going to steal him for a minute. Urgent matters!” you called over your shoulder as you tugged a frazzled Joey along. “You lied to me, Jo. You told me Bob was Angela’s brother!”

Considering he was an actor, Joey was a terrible liar. “They are—he is!”

You crossed your arms, scowling at him. 

“Alright, fine,” he relented. “Look, I’m not proud of this, okay?”

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath. “Listen, Jo, if you had just told me the truth, I still would’ve come with you, you know. Not only did you use me, but you just had to lie to me, too. Did you really think I was stupid enough not to notice? She’s got her goddamn tongue in his ear, for crying out loud!” You gestured emphatically to the couple, who were practically climbing on top of each other at this point. You made a noise of disgust, before rummaging in your bag for your wallet and shoving a twenty dollar bill into his chest. 

“Here’s some money for the food. I’m leaving.”

“No, wait, come on, Y/N—” His hand wrapped around your wrist just as you began walking to the restaurant’s exit. 

Freezing in your tracks, you didn’t bother shaking him away, nor did you wait to hear him out. 

“Please, let me go, Joey,” you whispered in a fragile tone. “I just want to go home.”

Reluctant, Joey let you go. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry—”

You didn’t spare him a glance as you just about bolted out of the restaurant, a film of tears welling over your eyes.

The next day, you trotted down to Central Perk, greeting Ross and Phoebe on the couches, and ordered a drink to-go. 

“Hey, guys,” you said as you dropped into a seat across from them. 

The pair waved at you. Phoebe’s eyes widened. “Oh, how’d the double date go? Joey didn’t say anything about it when we were all here yesterday. In fact, he was kind of looking off… oh, no, did something bad happen? I knew I sensed bad energy yesterday!”

You pursed your lips to the side. “Yeah, it didn’t really go that well. Joey told me the guy I was supposed to be on a blind date with was Angela’s brother, but in reality, he was her boyfriend, and he was just using me to get his ex back.”

“He what?” Ross practically screeched. “I’m gonna kill him. I’m—”

As if on cue, Joey and Chandler sauntered into the cafe, loudly discussing the difference between jelly and jam. 

When Joey’s eyes landed on you, he visibly brightened, rushing over to the couches. 

“Y/N, I—”

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Ross bit out, abruptly getting up to stand between you and Joey. “How could you use Y/N like they were just one of your side pieces? They’re one of your best friends, Joey. They’re one of my best friends—not just some person you can throw away after a date.”

Chandler doubled in shock. “Did I just walk into a Spanish soap opera? What’s going on?”

“That was really shitty of you, Joey,” Phoebe added scathingly. 

“I know,” Joey said, carding a hand through his hair. “Please, can I just talk to you, Y/N? Alone?”

Before Ross or Phoebe could intervene again, you nodded, more out of pity than anything. After storming out of the restaurant yesterday, you had quite a bit of time to cool down. Sure, you were still angry at him, but definitely not as much as last night.

“I’m sorry,” he said when the two of you had moved to a more secluded part of the cafe. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t know what I was thinkin’. I just got so hellbent on getting Angela back that I completely became a total jerk about it. I don’t even really like her all that much, it just rubbed me the wrong way when I found out that she was doing so much better without me. I’m sorry for dragging you into it—and lying to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I care about you a lot, and I would never want to hurt you.”

A part of you didn’t want to forgive him. You wanted to smack his stupidly handsome, pleading face and tell him to kiss your ass. 

But you couldn’t. 

“Oh, Jo,” you sighed, burying your face into your palms. “You can’t just… you can’t do that ever again. I trust you a lot, Joey. Yesterday really made me wonder if I was an idiot for giving you that trust. I don’t know if this makes me an even bigger idiot, but I still trust you.”

“I’m really sorry,” he parroted, spreading his arms out. “I’ll buy you a million movie tickets, or I’ll never steal from your fridge ever again, or I’ll come with you to those boring art museums you like so much, just—please don’t be mad at me anymore.”

You really couldn’t resist, looping your own arms over his waist, cheek resting against his shoulder. “Ugh, just shut up. I’m still really mad at you, but… I forgive you. Promise never to lie to me like that ever again.”

“I promise,” he said, pulling away to make sure you were looking him straight in the eye.

“Okay,” you huffed, a grin tugging at the corner of your lips. “God, stop being so serious, Joey. I swear, you look like you’re about to cry.”

The man across from you sniffled a little. “Well, sorry if the thought of losing one of my best friends makes me just a little sad!”

You roped him into another warm hug, patting his back comfortingly.

When the two of you parted, both wearing reflective beams, you began walking back to the couches with his hand laced in yours. The group was now pretending as if they hadn’t been listening to your entire conversation—Ross scrambled to pick up a magazine and was reading it upside down, Chandler began counting on his fingers, and Phoebe turned to her side and started talking to thin air. 

You stifled a laugh, sinking into the couch. “You guys can stop pretending like you weren’t eavesdropping now.”

“Oh, thank God,” exclaimed Chandler. “I was getting really tired of counting how many fingers I had.”

It was around a week after your little spat with Joey, the two of you were right back to your normal, light-hearted relationship. You sat beside him on Monica’s couch, having just lit up a bunch of candles to luminate the dark apartment. The entire city was in a blackout, and you weren’t too keen on getting back to your apartment in the pitch darkness.

The entire group was there, as well, save for Chandler, who was apparently stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. You would’ve been worried for him, but he sounded perfectly excited to be in such a confined space with a beautiful woman, so you weren’t too concerned.

“Okay, okay,” said Monica, snapping you out of your reverie. “Senior year of college, on a pool table.”

Both you and Joey oohed with teasing smiles as Rachel raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Pool table? That must’ve been uncomfortable!”

“My weirdest place would have to be… the women’s room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.” Joey crossed his arms and grinned, looking mighty proud of himself.

“Really? What were you doing in a library?” you scoffed. Joey pinched your thigh in response and you slapped his hand away with a laugh. “What about you, Pheebs?”

“Milwaukee,” the blonde responded, smiling. 

The rest of you bobbed your heads awkwardly, before Ross piped up, “Mine would be Disneyland, 1989. It’s a small world after all.”

The group whooped raunchily. “My God, Ross!”

“Yeah, the ride broke down, so Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical children.”

You grimaced. “Ugh, too much information, Ross. Did you get in trouble?”

There was a mischievous gleam in his eye as he responded, “There’s a reason why I’m not allowed in the Magic Kingdom anymore.”

You dissolved into laughter, before straightening yourself. “I’d say my craziest would be… on a piano after a concert. Let’s just say—he was really good with his fingers.”

With a gasp, Rachel swatted your arm in a giddy fashion. “Who was it, who was it?”

“Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell,” you said, miming locking your lips shut and throwing the key away. 

Joey rolled his eyes. “I think you were doing a lot more than just kissing.”

The rest of the group snickered, and you shoved him lightly. “What about you, Rachel?”

The brunette scratched her neck sheepishly. “What? I already went.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Monica. “Come on, Rach, tell us!”

Sighing begrudgingly, Rachel puckered her lips to the side in thought. “Alright, uh, the weirdest place would have to be… the foot of the bed?”

“We have a winner!” exclaimed Joey with a wide smile. 

“I don’t know, I’ve just never had that kind of relationship with someone. You know, where you have to have somebody right there in the middle of a theme park? Or—or on a piano, or a pool table. See, Barry wouldn’t even kiss me on a miniature-golf course. He said we were holding up the people behind us,” she said, expression dropping.

Phoebe placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “Barry was an asshole!” You nodded along in agreement, raising a glass of apple juice at her words. 

“I don’t know… do you guys think there are people who just go through life without…” She gestured emphatically, looking unsure of herself.

“Probably,” said Ross. “But I’ll tell you what—passion is way overrated. Eventually, it kind of burns out. But hopefully what you’re left with is trust and security, and, well in my case—lesbianism.”

Joey guffawed, and you choked on your juice mid-sip. 

Tentative, you began speaking up, “Yeah, Rach, sometimes love or sex doesn’t have to be loud and extravagant or reckless or whatever. It can just be there, you know? It’s not bad to have quiet love, too. The kind where you’re comfortable to be silent around each other.”

“You’re right,” said Rachel, deep in thought. “I’m going to the bathroom—I’ll be right back.”

Monica and Phoebe also got up from their seats, stretching out their tensed muscles. “We’re going to go sit out on the balcony—it’s not often we get to see the city in complete darkness.”

“I’m staying here,” you murmured contentedly, just about melting against the cushions. Joey brought your legs up to rest over his own and you grinned at him. 

The two women looked at each other knowingly, before ducking out through the window to the balcony. Ross stayed back too, fiddling with his fingers. 

“It’s never going to work, you know,” Joey told him.

“What? What’re you talking about?” he asked, miffed.

“You and Rachel,” he replied in a hushed whisper, rubbing his hand over your knee. You hummed pleasantly, shutting your eyes—Joey had no doubt that you were already completely knocked out. “I know you like her.”

There was a beat of silence. “Wh… why don’t you think it’ll work out?” queried Ross.

“Because you’ve waited too long to ask her out, and now you’ve been friend-zoned!” replied Joey.

Ross narrowed his eyes. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Joey said, furrowing his brows. 

“Nothing, nevermind.” The tall man waved his friend away. “I’m not in the friend-zone!”

“No, Ross, you’re like the mayor of the zone!” 

Frowning, Ross shook his head vehemently. Frustration wove tightly through his words like vines. “I’m taking my time, okay? I’m laying down the groundwork. Every day I get a little bit closer to—”

“Priesthood!” exclaimed Joey, wincing when you shifted, mumbling in your sleep. “Face it, Ross, if you don’t ask her out soon, you’ll end up stuck in the zone forever.”

“I will,” he emphasized, more like he was convincing himself than Joey. “I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

Joey spread his arms out with an incredulous expression. “What’s keeping you? The wine? The candles? The moonlight? You just gotta go up to her and—”

It was then that Rachel came out of the bathroom, cooing when she caught sight of you curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly.

Joey shot Ross a meaningful look, and the taller man rose from the sofa. “Hey, Rach, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?”

“Oh, sure,” she replied, a bit confused, but followed him away from the living room. 

That left just you and Joey on the couch, and he sighed, glancing down at you, basking in the gentle glow of the moonlight. Shadows arched over your features, softened with slumber. A strange feeling curled up within his gut—one that he couldn’t recall ever feeling before. It clutched over his rib cage and wound itself over his lungs, leaving his breaths tight and uneven. He reached out to brush a stray tendril of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

One of your eyes cracked open and you groggily propped yourself up on an elbow. “Why’re you staring at me?”

That feeling in Joey’s gut seemed to intensify, and he squirmed in uncomfort.

“You’re just…” he started, narrowing his eyes as he searched for the right words.

“I’m just…?”

“You just… really make me happy,” he finally said, unsure if that was what he wanted to say. Dissatisfaction scratched down his throat but he swallowed it down.

A cheeky grin painted itself across your lips. “Okay, you big sap. You make me happy, too.” You shifted your position so you could rest your head on his shoulder, already drifting off to sleep again. 

By the time you woke up, the city was still shrouded in complete darkness, but there was a new stranger in Monica’s apartment. Rachel introduced him to you as Paolo, who lived a couple stories below, and you flinched in surprise when he had taken your hand and placed a soft kiss.

God, he was practically eye-fucking you on the spot!

You nodded uncomfortably, pulling away to stand behind Joey, who crossed his arms in an almost protective manner.

“So, uh, what’s Paolo doing here?”

“Well, we found his cat wandering on the balconies and we brought it to him!” said Rachel, clapping her hands together. You noted with mild interest that Ross had angry red claw marks down one side of his face. 

For the rest of the night, Rachel was all over Paolo, and Monica and Phoebe were fawning over him for the side.

“Gosh, just look at his face! I just wanna bite his bottom lip, you know?” Phoebe had told you, eyes glimmering.

You blinked. “I don’t, but, thanks for telling me, Pheebs!”

Rachel rushed to you with fluttering hands and a smile so wide that it was a wonder her face didn’t split into two. Paolo was by the window, watching the moon with a dazed expression—alright, maybe you could kind of see where the appeal came from.

“The first time he smiled at me—those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry! I mean, I know it’s totally superficial and we have nothing in common and we don’t even speak the same language, but, God!”

“Man, you’re horny,” you commented, which earned you a sharp glare from her. You raised your hands backing away. “Go get him, tiger!”

A couple hours later, the entire group was back on the couches (plus Paolo), and the last candle was on its way to burning out. 

Phoebe began counting down, but Joey blew it out in exasperation, which made you glare at him—not that he could see it. 

“Kinda spooky without the lights on, huh?” he whispered into your ear, and you nearly screamed at the sudden ticklish sensation of his fingers prodding your side. You tried smacking his shoulder, but because as you couldn’t see a single thing, you ended up slapping his face a little too hard, and he doubled over, a strained noise wrangling out of his throat.

Conveniently, the lights began to slowly flicker on. The group gasped, but you just assumed that they were surprised to see Joey in pain.

You cradled Joey’s face in your hands, checking if you did any lasting damage. You promptly let go of him when he appeared to be just fine, saying, “Oh, don’t be such a baby, Jo.” 

When you finally looked up, you realized the true reason why the group had gasped.

Rachel and Paolo were heavily making out against the wall, looking ready to tear each other’s clothes right off.

“Oh,” you said, not really surprised at all. “Paolo lost his cat and suddenly he got an entire new pussy.”

The group burst into laughter at your comment, which made Rachel flip you off, not even bothering to break the kiss. She led him into her room and slammed the door behind her.

“Lights are back on—I should get going home,” you said, getting up from your seat and moving to the door. 

The rest of the friends chimed their goodbyes, but Joey was quick to protest. “Wait, uh, what if the lights turn back off? I don’t want you going home all alone in the dark.”

You stopped in your tracks, tilting your head. “I don’t live that far, it’s only a couple blocks—”

“Just stay at my place for the night,” he said, leading you to the door. “You can leave first thing in the morning, when it’s bright out.”

“You sure? I don’t wanna impose on you and Chandler or anything. Speaking of Chandler, I hope he’s doing okay,” you said, suddenly remembering that he was still stuck somewhere with Jill Goodacre. Yeah, he was definitely more than okay.

“Yeah, I’m sure Chandler’s fine,” replied Joey. “But yeah, I’m also sure I want you to stay—besides, my bed’s too big for just one person, you know?”

Rolling your eyes, you patted his chest, before walking across the hall and into his apartment. Teasingly, you said, “If you wanted me to sleep with you, you could’ve just asked, Jo. No funny business, though, right?”

“Yeah,” he choked out, a bit delayed before following you in. “No funny business.”

[nomoreessays]

Es ist Sonntagnachmittag. Da keiner in der WG Lust hat, seine respektiven haushaltlichen Pflichten zu erledigen, beschließen wir, stattdessen Mitbewohnerin 1 die Haare zu färben. Mitbewohnerin 2 macht Urlaub und wenn wir schon nicht mitkönnen, wollen wir zumindest auch was erleben. Außerdem sind Gemeinschafts-Aktionen bekanntermaßen förderlich für die Truppenmoral, und so sind wir zwanzig Minuten später unterwegs zur Drogerie.

Wir kommen an einem Laden für Fanartikel vorbei und der Mitbewohner lacht laut auf und deutet auf das Schaufenster. „Yo [nomoreessays]“, ruft er, „this looks like you in the mornings“. Ich bin mir gar nicht sicher, ob ich wissen will, auf was er da zeigt, gehe aber schicksalsergeben trotzdem hin. Im Schaufenster steht eine - um es höflich auszudrücken - etwas zerstört aussehende Statue von Dobby dem Hauselfen, komplett mit Kissenbezug und Socke in der Hand. Der Hersteller hat seine Augen unvorteilhaft intensiv dargestellt und er macht ein Gesicht, als wäre sein Gegenüber in Hundescheiße getreten. Bevor ich irgendwas dazu sagen kann, ruft Mitbewohnerin 1 „oh my god, that does look like you! The eyes bro, that‘s the exact face you make!“. Der Mitbewohner nickt, „yeah, in the mornings in the kitchen, when you’re making your tea and I come in, that’s the exact look you give me!“. Es wird rundherum schallend gelacht, und ich spiele mit dem Gedanken beleidigt zu sein. Wenn man meiner WG Glauben schenkt, sehe ich aus wie a) some Russian mafia chick, b) some vampire oder c) Dobby der Hauself auf Shrooms. Am I not my grandma’s „Hübsche“ to these people?

Zurück in der WG machen wir uns ans Färben. Mitbewohnerin 1 hat sich für ein subtiles Platzwunden-Blutrot entschieden und mich zur Mittäterin berufen. Verständlich, wenn ich an den Gräueltaten beteiligt bin, kann sie bei schlechtem Ausgang auf jemand anderen als sich selbst sauer sein. Sie beginnt Haarsträhnen zu betupfen, als wolle sie ein Fabergé-Ei abstauben, und ich bereite mich innerlich auf eine lange Nacht vor. Irgendwann sage ich „should I just help you? I could start in the back, that will be tricky for you anyway“ und sie nimmt dankend an. „Do we have any more gloves though?“, fragt sie und prüft die Schachtel, „this stuff stains like crazy bro“. Da wir uns eine Gehirnzelle teilen und diese schon vor einer Weile um ihr Leben gerannt ist, tragen wir am Ende jeweils einen der mitgelieferten Plastikhandschuhe, nutzen diesen zum Abtrennen der Haarsträhnen und verreiben die Farbe mit der anderen Hand, sodass unsere Hände bald aussehen, als wären sie gehäutet worden. Mitbewohnerin 1 ist unverändert stolz auf uns: „We are so smaaart bro! Look at us overcoming challenges!“

Während wir warten treibt uns der Hunger in die Küche. Ich hab hier schonmal erwähnt, dass sie sehr beengt ist, besonders wenn mehrere Leute drin stehen und kochen. Die Fenster in der Tür sind so beschlagen, dass ich die beiden nur schemenhaft erkennen kann. Unter der Tür kommt derweil Dampf durch, wie in einer Sauna mit Brathähnchenaufguss. „You don’t wanna come in?“, brüllt mir der Mitbewohner über den Lärm von Dunstabzugshaube und seiner Playlist zu und ich sage, ich würde warten, bis die beiden fertig sein: „I’ll just interact from here!“. Er nickt und wischt eins der Fenster sauber, damit ich ihm dabei zuschauen kann, wie er die Single Ladies Choreografie aufführt, in einer Hand die Spaghettizange.

Letztendlich mache ich meinen Frieden damit, dass mein Lungengewebe in Eau de Imbissbude getränkt wird, setze mich an den Tresen und erzähle gerade von meinen Versuchen, eine der Mäuse in der Bib zu zähmen, als Mitbewohnerin 1s Timer geht. Sie betrachtet ihre mit Farbe beschmierten Arme und Schultern und erklärt, sie werde komplett duschen anstatt nur die Haare zu waschen. „Need any help?“, frage ich und sie grinst. „Nah, that would be moving to fast“. Ich beschwöre meine beste Fuck-Boy-Imitation herauf, gebe ihr den Joey-Tribbiani-Blick und sage „making me work for it? Alright. I like a challenge“. Sie macht ein Geräusch wie ein abgewürgter Motor und zeigt auf mich wie auf ein ungehorsames Kleinkind. „No“, bellt sie und stürmt ins Bad, „you stop that“. Ihr zurückgelassenes Essen fällt mir zum Opfer, Gesetz des Dschungels und so.

Der Mitbewohner erzählt inzwischen von den zwischenmenschlichen Dramen auf der Arbeit, die Leiden des jungen Azubis quasi, wobei er geflissentlich unerwähnt lässt, dass er selbst der Schlimmste von allen ist. Als ich das vorsichtig andeute macht er nur „eeh“ und wechselt das Thema, zu Enteninnereien, was unter seinen Lieblingsthemen eins der salonfähigsten ist. „Umm guys?!“, kommt es da von der Tür und wir drehen uns um. Im Türrahmen, angezogen und geföhnt, steht Mitbewohnerin 1. Sie hat die Hände in die Hüften gestützt und ihr Gesicht ist eine exakte Kopie des Emojis mit der hochgezogenen Augenbraue.

Ihre Haare sind unverändert pechschwarz. Ihre Kopfhaut hat die Farbe eines Pavianhinterns.

———————————————————————

Bonus Content: authentic photo of me in der Küche morgens

[streetlamp-amber]

GUIDELINES

about the author + blog rules

⤾ NAVIGATION 　　 → MASTERLIST

✧˖*°࿐ABOUT THE AUTHOR

.·:*¨ ailís — 22 — fae/they (okay with girl gendered terms) — bisexual enby ¨*:·.

ꕤ — i’m bilingual, my first language is french but i only write in english (though i might incorporate french in some fics/one shots).

ꕤ — i dropped out of college after the pandemic started but plan on going back to school this fall. i still don’t know if i want to major in photography or art history but i still have a whole year of independent studies to figure that out. however, i do have a job. it's a customer service job but i do have some weeks where i'm working more than others so i'm not making a posting schedule. i'll post when i've completed something.

ꕤ — things i like: blueberry bagels with cream cheese, autumn, concert photography, poetry, music (arctic monkeys, lorde, blur, wallows, inhaler, fontaines dc), movies (studio ghibli, nolan’s dark knight trilogy, irish cinema, french cinema), tv shows (peaky blinders, broadchurch, derry girls, true detective, doctor who, the sopranos, new girl), sports (montreal canadiens, liverpool fc, celtic fc, f1), the colour green, europe (but not england or germany), cillian murphy, david tennant, art museums, batman.

ꕤ — i’ve been writing fanfiction for years (it all started with very poorly written one direction imagines on instagram and wattpad when i was thirteen…), improving both my writing skills and my english vocab + grammar along the way. my earliest works available are from 2021 (on ao3) because i’m too ashamed of anything posted before that (and it was also very bad).

ꕤ — i’m very multifandom and will mostly write content related to my most recent hyperfixations. there’s a list down below with all the characters i read and am interested in writing fanfiction for.

✧˖*°࿐WRITING + RULES

ꕤ — this blog will be mostly dedicated to one shots, blurbs, headcanons, drabbles and maybe short series.

i do write long series on wattpad (and also on ao3 but that one is currently on hold). i’m in the middle of a friends series rewrite with a joey tribbiani x female oc storyline that i’m very invested in (this might be the first multi chaptered fanfic i ever complete). i also started writing a tenth doctor x witch oc au but i’m taking much longer to update this one as it will mostly be original episodes instead of following the doctor who storyline. i also have a tommy shelby x oc fic that’s been on hold for a year that i plan on eventually getting back into writing.

ꕤ — i honestly don’t really care about canon (especially when it comes to stuff like the dc universe). i will always respect identity traits that are important to the character like race, sexuality, disability, etc., but i might get ooc sometimes when it comes to their personalities.

ꕤ — i will try to keep my reader inserts as physically vague as possible except if it’s indicated that the reader is afab. however, i am physically disabled with chronic pain so i might incorporate some aspects related to that in my writing (it will be indicated at the beginning of the post).

ꕤ — i am okay with minors interacting with my sfw writings but if i see anyone under the age of 18 interacting with nsfw stuff you will be blocked. i can’t stop you from reading it but i am not comfortable with you interacting with that content.

ꕤ — requests will be answered once i’m done writing them. i will try my best to do so as fast as possible but i tend to write multiple works at once so if you see me post other things after you sent your request, don’t get deterred. if you send a request i don’t want to write, i’ll reply to the ask to also let others know not to request something similar.

ꕤ — do not translate, copy or publish my work on other platforms without my permission.

!! DO NOT REQUEST !!

major character death (canon or non-canon), underage reader or character, incest, any kink involving fluids, noncon/dubcon, self harm, eating disorders, yandere, abuse, manipulation, butt stuff, cheating/infidelity, a/b/o

✧˖*°࿐CHARACTER LIST

✵ doctor who

⋆ tenth doctor

✵ peaky blinders

⋆ tommy shelby

✵ dc universe

⋆ batman/bruce wayne ⋆ batmom/batfamily ⋆ scarecrow

✵ bridgerton

⋆ benedict bridgerton

✵ supernatural

⋆ dean winchester

✵ broadchurch

⋆ alec hardy

✵ true detective

⋆ rust cohle

✵ harry potter

⋆ sirius black ⋆ barty crouch jr ⋆ fred weasley

last updated 6 august 2024.  　　 divider by @saradika

[urfavsimpingfanficwriter]

Rules and Regulations<3

I will write fluff, angst, and I will try to write smut.(The smut may or may not be any good, just a warning)

Obviously, If I see anyone who isn’t 18+ interacting with smut of any kind on my page, it will be an immediate block. This is purely for the safety of you minors, and so I don’t feel uncomfy! I will also not write any smut using minors, for obvious reasons.

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I write for lots of fandoms, and will most likely check more out if you recommend anything (especially if you want a fanfic about it)! This is a very flexible list, so be sure to request any other characters or fandoms, and I will see if i am comfortable with it!

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Fandoms and the people in them I write for (you can always ask for someone who isn’t on this list, just know I might not be able to write for them):

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington; Eddie Munson; Robin Buckley; Jim Hopper; Jonathan Byers; Argyle; Murray Bauman

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter; Ron Weasley; Draco Malfoy; Hermione Granger; Fred Weasley; George Weasley; Sirius Black; Remus Lupin; Lucius Malfoy; Tom Riddle; Neville Longbottom

The Office:

Jim Halpert; Michael Scott; Pam Beesly; Dwight Schrute

Labyrinth:

Jareth( Goblin King)

The Batman(2022):

Batman; The Riddler; Catwoman

Supernatural:

Dean Winchester; Sam Winchester; Castiel

Criminal Minds:

Aaron Hotchner; Spencer Reid; Derek Morgan; Emily Prentiss

Jurassic Park & Jurassic World(Any of the Movies):

Ian Malcolm;  Alan Grant; Owen Grady

Friends:

Chandler Bing; Joey Tribbiani; Rachel Green; Phoebe Buffay; Monica Geller; Janice Hosenstein

Marvel:

Tony Stark; Peter Parker(any version); Natasha Romanoff; Wanda Maximoff; Steve Rodgers; Dr. Strange; Bruce Banner; Deadpool; Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes; Scott Lang; Thor Odinson; Loki Laufeyson

Impractical Jokers:

Brian Quinn; James Murray; Joe Gatto; Sal Vulcano

Slashers/Fictional Murderers:

Michael Myers; Ghostface(billy, stu, or just “ghostface”); Jason Voorhees; Brahms; Jack Torrance; Charles Lee Ray(not the doll “chucky”, the murderer)

Beetlejuice:

Beetlejuice

Pirates of the Caribbean:

Captain Jack Sparrow

Buzzfeed Unsolved and Watcher(NO SMUT):

Ryan Bergara

Shane Madej

The Walking Dead:

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Glenn Rhee

Michonne

Merle Dixon

Philip Blake(The Governor) 

Maggie Greene

[bxbyisms]

@unkemptdreams { joey tribbiani }

rachel knocked on the apartment door, or rather she continued knocking on the door just as she had been for the last 25 minutes. “joey!” she called out. “seriously, let me in, i need to pee and mon took my key away again! i know you’re mad at me for letting the duck get into my face cream again but come on joey.”

[bukojuiice]

— genshin boys as your college roommates who are head over heels in love with you

ೃ ft. childe, diluc, kaeya, zhongli, and xiao x gn! reader

ೃ 400-600 words per character!  ♡

ೃ warnings: mention of alcohol drinking ( but aside from that, just lots and lots of fluff!)

ೃ this is my very first writing contribution to the genshin fandom, so i hope everyone likes it!  after 5 months of playing genshin, i think it’s safe to say my brainrot for it has finally consumed me and i’m confident enough to brew something up! <3

ೃ genshin impact masterlist 

ೃ if you want to be a part of my taglist, answer this form! ♡

CHILDE:

– You and Childe are the perfect embodiment of the best friends to roommates trope. Whenever you wanna sleep in for 5 minutes more and you’re about to run late for your first class, Childe never fails to slowly drag you out of your bed, laughing as he does so. “Wake up sunshine!” is the first thing you always hear in the morning and you don’t complain if you get to hear his smexy voice anyway. He is a confident flirt and is not afraid to show you how much he cares or how much he pines over you. 

–  He’s always always there to save the day. There was a time when your classmates stood you up on the group project you were making, and guess who comes up to you with glitter, glue, and colored paper? Childe, of course! He stayed up until the wee hours of the night with you just so he can help you finish it. He even promises to set things in a “very civil way” with your absolute jerk groupmates the very next day. You practically hang out with him 24/7 as most of the time he just barges in your shared apartment with some amusement park tickets on hand or to some expensive yoga or judo class. There’s never a dull moment with him and with each passing day, the more you fall harder for him.

–  After a morning jog with him and seeing cute little dogs frolicking around with their married owners, Childe suddenly had the urge to adopt a dog with you.  But, due to a no pets rules established by the landlord, the two of you opt to owning hamsters instead! Childe named his hamster, narwhal (after his favorite animal of course!) whereas you named yours bunny, to match his irrelevant pet name picking. your hamsters both share the same house/cage and even they are pining over each other.

  –  His siblings visit a lot, especially Teucer. At this point, there was never a day the little boy didn’t ask when are you and Childe going to finally become “playground playmates” (a term for lovers that they use in second grade apparently) since the two of you are living with each other and seem so close. Childe is always able to successfully change the topic and shift away from talking about the shared feelings that the both of you have for each other. But, alas, the day had finally came to be and during your monthly trip to the amusement park, Childe confidently confesses to you on top of the ferris wheel.

“So... everyone in my life knows that you’re my best friend. Yea, that’s pretty cool and all but... Can we be more than just that (Y/N)? Is there hope if I think there could be something between us?”

DILUC:

– Diluc is your posh and rich roommate who sounds and looks too good to be true. The fact that you’re roomies with the literal heir to the country’s biggest wine and beverage company sounds like something straight out of a fanfic. But, it was of his volition to decide to live in a penthouse near Teyvat University. It was the doings of his step-brother Kaeya who tricked him into getting a roommate so that he won’t be alone for the rest of his college years... aaand that’s where you come in. practically barged into his life, but, you were a blessing. an angel sent from the skies.

–  He’s quite cold and unapproachable at first, only greeting you whenever he sees you but never bothered to engage in small talk with you. Even if the both of you go to the same university. It wasn’t until your second month as roommates, when you accidentally had too much to drink after a friends’ night out. You come home to see him in the living room, drinking grape juice from a wine glass, and watching a rerun of Hannah Montana. You practically collapse at the front door, he rushes to you and helps you up as you drunkenly confess to him in tears how you wanted to become much closer to him especially since the  two of you are going to spend the rest of your college years together. That was when Diluc realized how distant and aloof he’s been and vows to make it up to you.

– Diluc is very talented. Albeit in very discreet way, he makes sure to make use of his talents especially if it’s an opportunity to make memories with you. He is an amazing cook as much as he tries to deny it, He’s a secret virtuoso caught in 4k when you impulsively bought a guitar one time and you asked if he knows how to play, and he does so well. He practically serenades you in the most non-obvious way possible. Lastly, He’s very athletic. You invited him to play tennis one time, betting that if he won, you would do his bidding for the rest of the week. Before you could even blink, he wins. His “punishment” for you was that you accompany him in binge-watching TV Dramas. Grey’s Anatomy and Downtown Abby are just some of the shows the two of you would watch. It is absolutely adorable seeing him so invested in these dramas. and since the next on Diluc’s list were sit-coms, you were preparing yourself to answer his questions on the context of jokes that he didn’t get. In a poor attempt to flirt with you, he calls out your name and recites in the most Joey Tribbiani voice he could muster, “How you doin?” You were laughing so so hard that night because his pick up line actually worked on you and suddenly your realizations came full circle: you were very much in love with him too.

–  His naturally cool yet shy nature had always gotten the best of him.  He’s always wanted to ask if you wanted to carpool with him to school. Riding with him in his Tesla sportscar that goes 150 Mph? Heck yeah. However, it took quite a while before he could muster up the courage to ask you (4 months of being roommates until he finally popped the question) Since then, the two of you go home to and from University whenever you had similar schedules. Ever since then, Diluc had began to soften. His cold and hard facade slowly melted. Asking if you could help tie his floofy red hair then he’d let you play with it and let you style it in different ways. He takes you out on café dates during lunch breaks and take you out to watch a movie after both of your late night lectures. Everyone in campus thinks the two of you are practically together at this point. All that was left was to bare your feelings with one another through a fumbling and awkward confession.

“Words cannot not suffice these feelings I’ve been harboring for you since the very beginning. I L-like you a lot. Do you feel the same way too?”

KAEYA:

- Everyone loves Kaeya. Your friends and family, The School Faculty, The owner of the Convenience Store from down the street, The old lady who lives next door, The little kids from down the hall, and even the angry brown poodles from the farthest apartment to your right absolutely loved him. it was hard to keep up with having a roommate that not only were you crushing so hard on, but also had such a vibrant social life. Kaeya interacts and socializes with a lot of people and he admits that it does tend to get tiring at times. But, if these sacrifices lead to coming home to his cute roommate who has captivated his heart since Day 1, then it’s all worth it.

— Despite how warm and friendly he may seem, Kaeya is a very private person. He’s brought two or three friends like Jean, Lisa, Albedo, or Rosaria. But, only to discuss school affairs. He wasn’t the kind of person who trusts others easily, even if he was giving off the impression that he was a trustworthy and reliable person himself. He’d much rather spend time with you on days off from school. He may be a party guy on the outside (he insists he does it for future connections when he graduates) but he’s quite a homebody. Kaeya is the type to watch korean dramas and anime with you, go on late night convenience store cravings, and these always resulted in a perfect evening spent with him. When the both of you are fully immersed into the anime and things get a bit cozy, you rest your head on his shoulder, huddling for warmth.

— Kaeya would always come home with a little something for you. May it be take-out food, A trinket, a board game, an accessory, and even skincare products. The indigo-haired man is very particular about self-care and you bet that he’s bought different kinds of face masks, ointments, and even matching cute headbands just for the two of you! He’s very flamboyant and flirts with you a lot. Trying to impress you with pick up lines and suggestive jokes, but you always thought that he was just joking around because that was always a part of his personality. It was always a part of him. For Kaeya on the other hand, it seems to him that you don’t take him seriously and it's possible that you don’t return his feelings at all. He had to set things straight and it didn’t take long until Kaeya found the perfect opportunity to do so.

— With the help of practically everyone in the apartment, Kaeya is about to surprise you with a candle-lit dinner up on the apartment rooftop. His sly smooth-talking quickly convinced you that the both of you were just going to go out on your nightly convenience store trips. Your curiosity grows when he takes you by the hand, covering you with a blindfold, and whispering to your ear, “Do you trust me?” Gripping onto his hand tightly, the both of you go up some stairs and you reply, “Yes Kaeya, I do.” He slowly uncovers the shield from your eyes and your eyes sparkle at the sight of the candle-lit dinner, complete with jazz music, and a romantic view of the city.

“(Y/N)... You are the most precious person to me. I hope you can take me seriously, especially my feelings. I am saying this with my heart in my hand and with nothing but genuine love in my soul.”

ZHONGLI:

— Zhongli is truly husband material. You’re saying this as his friend, as his roommate, and as someone who’s absolutely smitten over him. He’s a third year environmental archaeology student at Teyvat University. Gentle, kind, and has nothing but wise and intelligent things to say. your lovestruck self can’t help but just admire him from afar, not knowing that he too has been entranced by you ever since you moved in.

—He's always the first to wake up in the morning. The first thing he does is make you a cup of coffee. He's got your favorite memorized, (Coffee with cream. Not to sweet and not too bitter.) The both of you own matching mugs, (written in colored scribbled letters, “The Wise Roommate” for Zhongli and “The Cute Roommate” for you.) He always wants to spend his free mornings with you. Both of you have different schedules so you never see each other at Campus and this was the only blissful time of the day you can spend with one another. Once you get home for dinner, (Zhongli is always the first to get home if he doesn’t stay too long at the library or strolling around the city) If it’s your turn to cook or if it’s his, he never forgets to brew you oolong tea after dinner. A perfect chance for the two of you to just talk the night away and engage in deep and meaningful conversations.

—Zhongli fell in love with you because you just quietly listen to him. Sometimes, you would share your thoughts and insights, even sharing your own personal knowledge that Zhongli had not known prior. You were one of the very few people in his life whom he could talk about absolutely anything with. Well, who wouldn’t listen to a handsome man who has a voice as smooth as butter? He is very passionate about his studies. Taking a lot of extra courses and spending a lot of money on his research. and so, most of the time, he spends all of his Mora on his extra studies (excluding the money he needs to pay for rent) and other interesting antiques. You understood why though. So, instead, you ask him to accompany you to do mundane chores. Going grocery shopping, doing the laundry and cleaning the apartment. He always helps in any way he can. The prying eyes of people around you and the old lady fr next door boldly coming up to you to ask if you and Zhongli were a married couple. You blush profusely whereas Zhongli coolly denies the woman's claims. It hurt quite a little but who were you to complain?

— It was during one of your night strolls with Zhongli. He had invited you out after dinner under the guise of wanting to have some fresh air and find a clear spot for the fireworks from a nearby festival. Your heart was thumping loudly to a non-existent rhythm, blissfully unaware that Zhongli was feeling a burst in his chest too. He clears his throat and his shoulders straighten. Zhongli puts his hand on your shoulder and breathes deeply. His cool and gentlemanly aura still radiating off of him as always. A wonderful array of colors fill the sky as his lips began to form the words he's always wanted to say:

"Tonight is beautiful isn't it? I thought that this would be the perfect time to open my heart up to you... You are a diamond in the rough that few see the beauty of. My beloved– Will you accept my feelings?

XIAO:

—  Having a popular twitch streamer as your roommate was a one in a million chance. Especially if you’re not even an influencer or internet figure yourself. But, how did this come to be? Why have you developed a crush on Xiao aka VigilantYaksha without knowing who he was? A gamer with over 6 million followers on different social media platforms? Simple, a high-end apartment near Teyvat University had a special discount if you were willing to be roommates with someone. It’s an amazing deal, near your school, cost-efficient, and you believed the 10% chance of scoring a hot roommate as seen on reality TV and romantic comedies. It was like rolling through a Gacha Game and getting a 5 star character. As that “character” is soon to be revealed as Xiao.

— Things started off rocky at first. On your first day, he flatly welcomed you by the door, introduced himself, then quickly retreated back to his room. As soon as you locked eyes with him, he gave off a certain cold and unfriendly aura. You wanted to get to know him better. Maybe with a little love and care, he could open up to you and you could become friends! That same day, you had mistakenly thought of your room as his and you walked in on him streaming a horror game. He wasn’t spooked by the jumpscares. But instead, he was looking at you in horror because you’ve just exposed yourself to thousands of people. You wave at the camera, apologize, and left. Since then, his fans, (called the Anemo Tofus) have been shipping the two of you together. Creating fanfiction and fanart of Xiao and the mysterious roommate that accidentally walked in on him. They practically begged Xiao to at least talk a little bit about you, to which, he declined. When you surprised him with dinner (as a little treat since this was your first week with him) He sits across the table from you, his eyes gazing deep into yours, as he pops the question, in a very tsundere tone: “Would you like to appear in my streams? T-the Anemo Tofus wanna learn more about you. B-but, if you don’t want to, it’s alright! You don’t have to-” You cut him off before he could continue his doubts, “Xiao! What are you saying? I’d love to!”

  —  There was something blossoming between the two of you after that particular dinner with him. Starting with your first “roommate video” that you had thought of when you were brainstorming for video ideas. It was an Almond and Mapo Tofu mukbang whilst the two of you answered questions from fans! The viewers noticed how visibly comfortable he was around you despite his usual reserved attitude. He was cracking up a lot more sarcastic and self-deprecating jokes whilst Tofu filled both of your mouths. Outside of the confines of social media and inside the comfortable space that was your apartment, you and Xiao grew closer. Wearing matching hoodies, going on midnight snack runs, playing in arcades, and stargazing with him up on the rooftop as you contemplate about life and talk about the mysteries of the universe. There were times when you would stay up late doing school works and would accidentally fall asleep on the sofa. Xiao would come out of room because he periodically had cases of insomnia. When he sees you on the sofa, he can’t help but smile at your sleeping figure and admire your beauty. First. he brings all your clutter back to your room then slowly picks you up from the couch, into his arms, and brings you back to your room. He places a blanket on top of you and your stuffed plushies next to you so you can hug them any time. 

— On a particular night, you fell asleep on the sofa once again and begun to  have recurring nightmares. Xiao was there to witness you whimpering, muttering to yourself, and shivering to a mental image that he could not see. (He wishes he could erase all the pain that these nightmares were giving you) You subconsciously grab onto his hand, murmuring to yourself: “Xiao, please don’t go.” He whispers back, “I won’t.” Your nerves slowly relax when you feel the Yaksha squeezing himself to lie next to you on the couch. Holding onto your arm, he continues to reassure you that it was going to be okay. You grab onto him, hugging him from behind. He feels your heartbeat revert back to it’s normal pace and you return back to your peaceful slumber. “I’ll always be here for you, (Y/N). I’ll be here to protect you. Forever and always.”  Turning to you to plant a kiss on your forehead, you nestle your head on Xiao’s chest. He watches as you cling to him for love and warmth until he is slowly whisked away by his weariness, rewarded with a peaceful sleep he hasn’t felt in a while.

“And they were roommates.”

[eminems-skittles]

headcanon prompts

it’s everyone’s favorite time: headcanon prompts! going to be doing these for the rest of my trip bc i can’t pump out full fledged fics rn </3

everything is written with fem!reader in mind so if you want gender neutral pls specify <3

characters:

stranger things: steve harrington, eddie munson

top gun maverick: rooster, bob, hangman, phoenix

gilmore girls: jess mariano

friends: chandler bing, joey tribbiani

(*)= suggestive but not really full on smut

send in a prompt and a character or two!

cooking with them

taking care of you when you are sick

how they act when they have a crush

little things they do in their relationship

how they realize they have feelings

different ways they cuddle

ways they protect you

your first time with them (*)

ways they tease you (*)

different types of touches

living with them

little ways they show you that they care

dates they take you on

lazy days with them

how they confess

how they propose

little ideas about how they are in relationships

things that drive them crazy (* possibly)

what your future looks like with them

first i love you

what your songs/playlist as a couple would be

you can also send in your own requests! i’m easing into writing smut on this blog rn so you can send in some nsfw ideas also just please be patient with me lmao (minors pls blacklist my { smut } tag if u regularly interact with my account)

[cerisia76]

One ship one fandom

I have so many fandoms that sometimes I'm lost in them... Like I have SO MANY ships that my gallery can't hold it... So I decided to do a little "one ship one fandom" with only pictures from my gallery. Honestly, you're gonna have many posts I prefer to say it now....

Let's start it now

Gossip Girl: Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf

It's not a surprise but I honestly took a long moment to decide between them and Van Der Baizen because I love them so much too... But Dair is that one first ship in the fandom and the reason I watched the show till the end.

Ici tout commence: Lionel Lanneau and Kelly Rigault

Let's put some french side of tumblr here but honestly these two had the best construction of ennemis to lovers and I just love their "we're kind of children having our first real relationship" dynamic. Even if I have to admit my favourite couple was Louis/Elodie but this ship is so ignored by the fan base that I have 0 gif of them...

Barbie Movies Universe: Joker I have too many ships (I'll do a one ship one movie one day)

Total Drama: Gwen and Duncan

Oh how unpopular it is but see, I don't care. I'm a sucker for best friends to lovers and even if I hated the cheating part, this pairing worked completely for me and I shipped them from episode 1.

Disney Universe: Aladdin and Jasmine

They had this amazing story that was completely romantic and epic and the way they felt in love with each other was so so natural.... I just can't help but love them more than any other Disney couple... the only contestant they have would be Eugene and Rapunzel...

Harry Potter: Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour

They are cruelly underrated but they are my favourite. The way their romance was established in the background and then they appeared in the books was enough. They discovered each other and found their soulmate without staying on first impressions and that's amazing.

The Bonfire of Destiny: Alice and Victor

French side of Tumblr again and how much I love these two... their interactions were my drug and I just recommand everyone to go on Netflix watch this show with subtitles.

Scooby Doo universe: Fred Jones and Daphné Blake (yes I took The Mystery Begins actors because they are underrated)

I mean who wouldn't choose them? They went through so much in every Scooby Doo movies and series and I can't help but fall in love with every single of their stories.

Friends: Joey Tribbiani and Rachel Green

I mean they are those two adorable idiots in love and they were the purest lovebirds ever.

Angel's Friends: Miki and Gas

They are underrated because Raf and Sulfus are the main couple but the chemistry and story between them was so adorable that I feel so bad we never knew if they admitted they were in love or not! We deserve to know!

Okay everyone it's enough for today, see you in part two

[leftperfectionmoon]

⚠️ includes the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers ⚠️

TFATWS Live Blogging

okay so i really feel bad for john rn (but still i hate him)

"I'M NOT LIKE YOU" i no longer feel bad for this asshole

i'm honestly scared by the way that shield looks now

john give that shield back to sam or i'mma smack you real hard bitch

BITCH DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH SAM

someone please kill john i'm begging

this reminds me of the civil war except I WASN'T SCARED WHILE WATCHING IT

JOHN IS A KILLER HE WAS GOING TO KILL SAM HE'S A KILLER

I'M SCARED

SAM 🤧

seeing torres after this makes me feel a little better

TORRES YOU HUGE FLOOFBALL

"keep them" *insert sad cat meme*

the nerve of this— STOP SAYING YOU'RE CAPTAIN AMERICA YOU'RE NOT

the people who made him that are equally responsible for this

"they do not know what it takes to be captain america" AND YOU DO?????

dude get some therapy

"Val"?? who is she????

I'M SCARED

shit zemo

oh thank goodness

okay I think bucky did the right thing

so this may not be the right time to say this but I SHIP BUCKY X AYO SO HARD

yess isaiah

marvel 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 touching 👏🏼 great 👏🏼 topics 👏🏼

isaiah deserves better that was dark okay

this is so awful BITCH I NEED A HUG

"puppy dog in the rain" uwu

SAM IS LITERALLY THE MOST ADORABLE HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

i love seeing domestic sam

yeaaaahhhhhh buck's back

are those the falcon wings?

sam and bucky are sooooooooooo adorable I can't even—

omg is this what i think is going on XD

"i'm bucky" = joey tribbiani's "how you doin" you can't convince me otherwise

sam's face, bucky's face and sarah's face after that interaction is what i live for

sam and bucky are walking memes

SAM IN THAT RED T-SHIRT 🥵

marvel's reading some serious fanfictions

john's feeding lies to lemar's parents 🔫 they think he's a saint

lemar died saving his ass and this bitch didn't even tell him that he took the serum

soft bucky smiling at sam's nephews please my heart

someone hug bucky please

"u gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are" YASS KING

SAM'S TALK WAS BETTER THAN BUCKY'S THERAPIST'S LET THAT SINK

this episode is giving me the peace that i need

give sam a hug or i will lose it istg

end credits music but sam training *chef's kiss*

oh it's the french dude from the first episode

seriously?! oh wait that's right how dare marvel give some damn peace.

also sharon was talking to a french guy on her call?? i'm sorry?!? what am i supposed to make of that?

edit

AND NOW THEY'RE GIVING AN END CREDIT SCENE

for a sec i thought it's tony building iron man sound

WHAT IS THIS 5 MINUTES CRAFTS FUCKERY GET A LIFE WALKER

[etherealino]

date? — l. minho

synopsis: you haven’t been on a date for months and your godsent rommate decides to take you out.

content/genre: roommate!minho x reader, based off of joey and rachel in friends s8xe12 bcs im still bitter that they never ended up with each other. purely fluff !!

warning(s): um, me being lame. other than that, none. unproof read. hehe

wc: 1.7k

note: there’s going to part 2 and maybe full length fic after part two. this is fully self indulgent bcs,,, come on, who doesn’t want a joey tribbiani?

and they were friends. m.list — next.

minho looks at you with wide eyes, blinking a few times with amusement on his face. “wow, you surely planned my date, huh.” minho teases as you close your hands together, shyly looking at him. minho thinks about it—it’s actually not that bad. he could take his date out, go to that diner that you were saying and dance with them since just like you said, the diner has a dance floor, a vintage themed one. it sounds a bit more you but he loves it.

“it’s been months since i went out on a date.” you said as you looked at your roommate with a smile. when minho asks why, you sigh, “i’ve got college, if i don’t have college, i have my extracurricular stuff and if i don’t extracurricular stuff, i’m on my bed too tired to do anything. it’s just.. i’ve been so busy, i don’t have time for it.”

“ever since..” minho trails off and you shake your head. hyunjin, minho’s best friend is your ex-boyfriend. whe you found out they were best friends, you thought you wouldn’t have a nice relationship with minho but no, this angel right beside you never let you felt like he was siding with hyunjin. minho doesn’t care, he wants to be able to talk to his roommate about everything.

“you’ve caught me couple of times with a date after that.” you remind and minho nods.

“you know what? what don’t i take you out?”

you laugh at what minho says, looking at him but he only stares at you with his eyebrow raised. “oh, you’re serious?” you ask and minho nods. “no, minho, you don’t have to. plus, i have a lot to do later.”

“like what? didn’t you finish everything this morning?” minho asks.

“how’d you know i finished everything earlier?” you asked.

“i go through your journal to know your schedule.” minho says and you look at him with wide eyes. “i don’t read your brain dump stuff. i accidentally did one time and when i realized it was private, i moved on.”

you have to admit, minho was sweet about that.

“but don’t you have a date tonight?” you ask and minho shakes his head.

“that’s not until tomorrow.” minho informs and you nod. “so, date?”

“i don’t know, min.” you shrug and minho smiles at you in a teasing way.

“we’ll go dancing.” minho says and you laugh, pushing his face back gently.

“alright, fine. we’ll go.” you said and minho smiles. you don’t know why, but you are excited about it. you sigh, smiling as you get back to your book.

“minho! could you get that?” you ask from your room as your hear knocking on the apartment, but minho doesn’t answer and a second wave of knocking comes. you come out of your room, fully dressed up for your date with minho as you walk up to the door, opening it to see none other then your roommate with a smile on his face. he winks at you and you chuckle. “i thought you were in your room.”

minho pulls his hand from behind holding a small boquet of your favorite flowers. “hey! my favorite! aw, thank you, minho.” you said as you took it, smelling it and taking it inside to put it on a vase.

“nice place you got here.” minho plays as he steps inside the apartment to which you laugh. “hey, three cats! nice, didn’t know you love cats.”

“well, they’re actually my roommate’s.” you answer, playing along with a smile as you place the vase nicely beside the sink.

“oh, really?” minho nods, approving of your so called roommate—so basically, he’s approving of himself. “i would like to meet him sometime.”

you hum in agreement, “but i have to warn you. he is very protective of me. so, you should watch yourself.” you say as you walk towards your room to get your coat.

minho lets out hum, smiling. “ah, so, this roommate of yours who is very nice considering he has three cats—is he good looking?” minho asks, wiggling his eyebrows as you close the door of your room.

“oh, yes, he is! one of a kind beauty.” you answered as you put your coat on. “but odd enough, even though he’s one of the prettiest face i’ve ever seen walk on this planet, his cats love me more than him.”

“hey! hey! hey!” minho protests, scowling as he looks at you. “they don’t. why are yout rying to ruin this?”

you laugh, looping your arm around his as you both exit your apartment. when you both got into diner which was more formal than minho expected (really perfect for dating like the old times), you both sat on a booth as the waiter got your orders.

“hey, by the way, changbin stopped by earlier to—”

“hey, what are you doing?” minho laughs lightly. “this a date, okay? two people getting to know each other. no roommate stuff, hm?”

“hm,” you hum with a smile. “okay, so, tell me! what is lee minho like on a date?”

“what do you mean?” minho asks.

“like, does he have a signature move?” you explain, smiling. “i mean, we both know you’re very flirty and all, but what is lee minho like on a date? come on, tell me.”

minho smiles, “alright,” he mumbles, “i always make sure my date would have a drink or eat that would leave a stain on their lip.”

“why?” you ask as some of your orders were placed on your table. minho’s eyes lighten up as he sees the cake he ordered. he pushes the creamy cake towards you and smiles.

“wanna try some?” minho offers and you shrug, taking a fork to have a bite of the cake. then just like minho planned, it left some of the crumbs on the corners of your mouth. when minho sees you reaching out for tissues, he beats you to it, saying, “i’ll get that for you.” minho smiles as he dabs the tissue on the corner of your mouth, slowly until his hand was placed on your cheek, thumb rubbing circles on your skin. you look back into his eyes, getting lost in the galaxies of his eyes as he stared into your soul, making you lean in—

“hey!” you exclaimed, snapping out of your trance as you remembered that you asked minho’s move. minho giggles, winking at you as you laugh. “nice. just your style, actions over words.”

“how about you?” minho asks and you hum, smiling.

“so, what’s your major again?” you ask and minho raises an eyebrow, making you gesture with your hand for him to just answer.

“computer science.”

“what?” you ask, leaning in closer.

“computer science.”

“again.” you say, leaning closer as you rest your hand on minho’s thigh and he sighs.

“y/n, i’m your roommate, you know my—” minho cuts himself off as you tilt your head towards him. minho stares into your eyes, a bit taken back when your eyes land on minho’s lips.

“okay, that’s—” minho laughs as he pulls away and you grin at him, laughing lightly. “nice, y/n. nice.” you shrug, laughing. the night went on and just like minho promised, he danced with you on the space given as he requested a slow song. minho rests his jaw against the side of your head with his arm wrapped around you and the other hand holding yours against his chest. minho frowns, feeling tingly as he hold you close against him.

“you know,” minho begins as he closes the door of the apartment behind him. “this is the best date i’ve ever had.” minho confesses with a grin on his face. you look at him, removing your coat.

“me, too.” you said with a pout but a smille still comes on your face. “thank you so much for doing this. you really didn’t have to, min.” 

minho chuckles, removing his own coat. “so, does y/l/n y/n have any final moves at the end of the night?” minho asks as he hangs his coat on the rack.

“you first.” you smile.

“i really don’t.” minho says, shrugging. “i just look them deep in the eyes, cup their cheeks and go in for a slow kiss. and then i pull away, smile wide and drag my hands down their arms until i reach their hands, grab them, lift it up to my lips and kiss their knuckles.”

you smile softly. “that’s actually sweet.” minho gestures to you, silently saying it’s your turn. “okay,” you mumble, walking towards him as you hold his hands in each of yours. “you know that thing you asked me about this one time when i had a date and i told you that i just like playing with their fingers?”

“yeah,”

“well,” you start by lifting your hands that grab minho’s as you face your palms up, minho’s hands on top of yours as you slowly pull your hands away but your fingers gently playing with his as you twist your hands, intertwining your fingers with his. “i play with their hands for a bit.” you explain. “and then, i slide my hands up to their arms until it stops by their shoulders—ooh, look what you just did?” you ask and minho looks at his arms that he might have unconsciously wrapped them around your middle. “and then i place my hands on their jaws, caress their face for a bit with my thumb. then put my hands on their hair, playing with it,” you say, taking it in action. “and that’s when i kiss them.”

you smile, looking up into minho’s eyes to see them staring right back at you.

a sigh leaves your lips, slowly pulling away. “i know, it doesn’t seem like—”

“no, no, no, it would work.” minho says, chuckling lightly. you grin, opening your arms for him as he embraces you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

“thank you so much.” you say as you rock both of you side by side. “i had so much fun.” you giggle and you pull away, kissing his cheek. “good night, honey.”

“good night.” minho smiles as you fully pull away, arm extending as you walk away, slowly letting go of minho’s hand. minho watches you as you enter your room, frowning as he put his hand over his heart as if trying to calm his heart down from the interaction he had with you. why the hell was he feeling so happy and tingly? why is his heart beating so fast?

come say hi, my loves !!

[thegayhimbo]

for weirder asks (sorry if they're already been asked)

1, 4, 20, 21, 46.

1.) Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Joey Tribbiani from Friends. Jason Stackhouse from True Blood. Steve Harrington from Stranger Things. Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon from The Mentalist. Rider (Alexander The Great) from Fate/Zero. Batman from the Arkham Games. Nancy Drew from the HER Interactive Video Games.

4.) Which cryptid being do you believe in?

Bigfoot, The Abominable Snowman, The Wendigo, Ghosts, Aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster.

20.) Do you say soda or pop?

I say soda.

21.) Something you’ve kept since childhood?

Postcards from my travels. 

46.) Favorite Holiday Film?

A Christmas Story.

Thanks for the ask! :)

[mayasdeluca]

Acting coach anon (I know ASL btw): Grey acting was better when he used ASL cause that was a way he couldn’t overdo with movements, (if you noticed past season he very often had things in his hands or other things to fond ways to control his movements) he seemed very contained if I remember correctly, I need to rewatch it, it was a way for him to have more control over his body, I think a lot of problems come from directing/editing, the previous seasons he was directed better and edited out a lot that’s why you notice his movement less, also I think Stefania rub off on him, but she’s natural and Italian, he’s not, also he is not a comedy actor and someone must have told him to be goofy or give off a Joey Tribbiani vibe, no people no…..

Oh yes that makes sense...it definitely wasn't as noticeable last season, especially compared to now. But yeah, I think we just found yet another reason why Carina and Jack shouldn't interact. 😁 Not good for either of them as actors. Or characters...or at all. He's definitely trying to be like Joey from Friends but he's failing miserably.

I also feel like this show is missing Paris big time. I think he only directed one episode this season but he was much more involved when he was an exec producer and director last season and he overall cared much more about the show and is a great director. You can definitely tell his absence and the difference.

[moonlit-imagines]

Writing Challenge! (1)

So, I finally decided to start a writing challenge, it’s actually my first time creating one of these so bare with me please! Read ALL of the rules before entering. (These prompts are NOT for requesting my own fics, but may appear on several prompt lists in the future!)

Let’s start with how to enter:

Send me up to 3 characters and up to 3 prompts (DMs or askbox, MUST be off anon)

Put your most desired options first

Tell me if you’d like to use one prompt or two

Your url and the character you choose will be added next to the prompt(s) you chose

If you post early, you’re welcome to enter again!*

*you’ll only be able to have one entry at a time, you have to post your first one before re-entering

Post whenever you’re done! Don’t forget to tag me (@moonlit-imagines) , if I don’t interact within 24 hours, shoot me a message to make sure I’ve seen it!

They’ll be reblogged to @moonlit-ficrecs with my feedback!

Now to the rules:

First come, first serve!

Only write for characters from my fandom list (if you don’t see the one you want listed, you might still be able to use that one. just ask!)

Reader insert only, please!

Any POV (1st, 2nd, 3rd person)

Any type of fic, whether it be a gif imagine, one-shot, headcanon, whatever fits!

3 people per character

3 people per prompt

^None of your prompts can match someone elses with the same character

You can’t use the same character when you re-enter

Fluff, angst, familial/platonic, smut, AUs, etc. are all welcome!

There’s no set word count, do as much as your comfortable with!

Signups start: September 28, 2020

Signups end: October 9, 2020

Fics due: November 1, 2020 (or sooner!)

Prompts below!

(Note that if you feel the need, you can alter the prompt slightly for the correct pronouns, add names/nicknames, change it the past/present/future tense, or fix it so it fits a character’s accent!)

“You thought you could get away with this?” - (@emcon-imagines//Wanda Maximoff)

“I won’t let them hurt you.”

“Call me when you get home.” - (@unnuevosoltransformalarealidad//Tony Stark)

“Are you even trying?” - (@imaginesbymk//Edward Nygma)

“Can we get something to eat?” - (@writerdream22//Joey Tribbiani)

“Give me a kiss, please and thank you. I’m serious.” - (@alwritey-aphrodite//Diego Hargreeves) EXT.

“That’s my s/o. I would die without them.”

“Look at/talk to them that way one more time and I’ll break your nose.” - (@frostedimagines//Peter Parker)

“We’ll make it out of this, I promise.”

“I made you breakfast in bed!”

“Please come pick me up.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Can we go out tonight?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“You know where to find me.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”

“Oh, my god. That’s sick.”

“I’m begging you not to do this! Please don’t do it!”

“It’s late...we should probably head back.”

“Is that blood on your sweatshirt?”

“Do you love me? I have to know.” - (@locke-writes//Arthur Curry) EXT.

“Say ‘cheese!’”

“Are you done yet?”

“Let’s take a walk. Just you and me.” - (@myriadimagines//Robin Buckley)

“Don’t sit there and apologize like you mean it. We both know you’re full of it.” - (@ofthedewthesunlight//Peter Parker)

“Keep it down, they’re sleeping.”

“We really are the worst, aren’t we?”

“Can we pretend like that didn’t just happen?”

“I like you, alright? Is that such a crime?” - (@isaiahdurag//John Shelby) EXT.

“You make me crazy.”

“I can’t keep running from my problems and neither should you.”

“You seem happy, what’s up?”

“Cry me a goddamn river.” - (@ofthedewthesunlight//Peter Parker)

“Where did they go?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, they’re gone.”

“I could paint/photograph you, if you’d like.”

“Look me in the eye and say it! Say it!”

“We aren’t made for each other, you know that.” - (@thereagles//Betty Cooper)

“Lay with me. Just for a minute.” - (@dannyboy-writes//Thomas Shelby)

“Does that feel good?”

“Dude, if you say that one more time, I’m going to give you a black eye.”

“Remember what I told you: crotch, ribs, nose. In that order.” - (@frostedimagines//Peter Parker)

“What’s that noise?” - (@dannyboy-writes//Octavia Blake)

“Make it stop.”

“You’re the one I’ve heard so much about!”

“Bring it in, you need a hug.”

“Nobody talks to you that way, got it?” - (@unnuevosoltransformalarealidad//Tony Stark)

“I like your poster. Interesting pick.”

“No, I did not get any sleep last night.” - (@dannyboy-writes//Raven Reyes)

“That’s absolutely none of your business.”

“I’m hanging up now, goodbye.”

“You are the most perfect person on this planet, I swear.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Look at what I just posted.”

“You have got to listen to this song, it reminds me of you.”

“Dear, God! What have you done?”

“We make a pretty good pair, you and me. We should try this more often.”

“I know this isn’t your dream or anything, to end up with someone like me, but I hope you know that I’ll love you more than anybody else could.”

“I’m not one for sweet, sweet romance, so I’ll be getting straight to the point: will you go out with me?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore. You need to leave. Now.”

“You’re what’s getting in the way of my happiness.”

“I don’t believe for a second that we’re not meant to be together.” - (@thereagles//Diego Hargreeves)

“Where did you learn to do that? Can you teach me?”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I’m begging you to forgive me.”

“Don’t you see? It’ll never be that easy.” - (@dannyboy-writes//Qi’ra)

“I’d like to do something spontaneous. Let’s get out of here.”

“They’re out of town, won’t be back for a while...” - (@alwritey-aphrodite//Diego Hargreeves) EXT.

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“Oh, sorry. Did I wake you up?”

“Is that the best you can do?”

“You can’t just fight anyone that upsets you.”

“Is that for me?”

“I got you a present! And it’s expensive!”

“Turn on the lights, I want to see you.”

“You’re all that’s on my mind.”

“I wish we could do this every day.”

“That’s what friends are for.” - (@wolfish-willow//Steve Harrington)

“We’ve got to do this more often.”

“I literally don’t think I could live without you.” - (@vansmaybeonthewall//Cal Kestis) EXT.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Please don’t ever let me go.”

“Wow. You look nice...”

“Fuck’s sake, you again?”

“Play a song for me.”

“Just checking on you, you sure you’re okay?”

“Wanna go for a ride?”

“Keep going, it’s just a little farther.”

“You can’t get everything you want. Give it up before you get yourself hurt.”

“We make a really good team.”

“You’re not acting like yourself.”

“It’s time to overcome our differences.”

“Put the baseball bat down!”

“They are so badass. I think I may be in love.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Stop using your powers for that!”

“Look at the big picture here. At least we’re together again.”

“My parents said I have to be home by nine.”

“That is a lot of candles.”

“Someone got dressed up tonight, what’s the occasion?”

“Oh, my god. Did you change your hair again?”

“I found your diary...no, I didn’t read it.”

“I told you not to mess with my knives. I know they’re cool, but hands off.”

“Can I get a round of applause? “

“I will never be like you.”

“I don’t take orders from you.”

“Five minutes, that’s all I ask.”

“You remind me of the stars.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re beautiful.” - (@vansmaybeonthewall//Cal Kestis) EXT.

“What was that noise?”

“Put the mug down! No, not like that!”

“I won’t leave them behind. I will never leave them behind.”

“Who the hell let you in here?”

“You used to play [game]?”

“Let’s get a round for the table.”

“I got you a blanket and a pillow, make yourself comfortable.”

“Nothing will ever be the same.”

“Let’s get out of here. They’re not worth our time.”

“I really like your accent, what is that?”

“You’ve always taken care of me. It’s time to let go.”

“Woah, you made this yourself?”

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You keep a picture of me in your wallet?”

“Call me that again. I just wanna hear it one more time.”

“You just never stop flirting, do you?”

“Do I smell cookies? You know me so well.”

“I would never, ever give up on you.”

“I hate seeing you cry. I just want everything to be okay.” - (@emcon-imagines//Wanda Maximoff)

Submission Masterlist

[larkiwrites]

The One At The Bar

AU: Supernatural Title: The One At The Bar Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Ross Geller, Monica Geller, Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Joey Tribbiani, Chandler Bing Word Count: 765 Pairing: Hinting at DeanxReader Warnings: None A/N: This is for @smol-and-grumpy​ Nat’s SuperFriends Title Challenge. My prompt was The One At The Bar. I haven’t watched friends for a while so bear with me if I didn’t portray the characters perfectly :-/  Feel free to send in some constructive criticism and/or feedback! 

(Divider graphic by the lovely @talesmaniac89​ )

The flurry of icy-cold snowflakes bit against your skin, a gust of wind making it that much worse. You wrapped your coat about you a bit tighter, ducking your face down into your scarf the best that you could, and hurried forward. The lights of the café were just ahead and as if on their own accord, your legs began to move faster in anticipation. A gust of warmth overwhelmed you as you opened the door and darted in, grateful to escape the frosty outside air.

“(Y/N)!” Rachel called from your friends’ usual spot on the soft velvety couch. You grinned and began to shake off as much of the cold wet that had gathered in your hair and on your shoulders. Even without her calling for you, you could easily hear the laughter of your group of friends, practically your family, from the entrance.

Sliding your phone out of your pocket to turn the ringtone volume down, you made your way forward and into the café. Suddenly you collided with a solid form, causing you to drop your phone and lose your balance. Strong hands gripped your upper arms to prevent you from falling as you glanced up to meet the stunning emerald-green eyes of a man you’d never seen before. His light-brown hair was in a messy spike you weren’t sure was from the snowy weather, or if that was just his style. His strong jawline was accentuated by his five o’clock shadow and contrasted sharply with the soft set of his lips. God, his lips.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you uttered, overwhelmed by his beauty.

“Are you ok?” He spoke at the same time, leaning over and gazing at you through his dark lashes.

You shyly tugged at your bottom lip, glancing down and away before realizing it. You gave yourself a mental shake and met his gaze once more, heat instantly rising to your cheeks.

“Yeah, uh, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” you sounded slightly more confident than you would have expected. That was good.

The man stooped to pick up your phone and you instantly mourned the loss of his hands on your arms. What the hell, (Y/N)? Get it together.

“I think this is yours….?”

“(Y/N), my name is (Y/N),” you gave a small smile while taking the phone from his hands. Your cold fingers brushed against the warmth of his skin and the feeling of electricity shot through you.

“Dean,” his pink lips lifted into a half-smile in response.

“Thanks, Dean,” you held the phone up, referencing what you were thanking him for. That, and you know, existing. God, those eyes… You gave yourself another mental shake.

“(Y/N)!” your friend Phoebe’s voice startled you, bringing you back to the present. You hadn’t noticed but for a moment there, there was only you and Dean in the bustling café.

“Uh, sorry, my friends,” you gestured toward the sitting area your friends occupied.

“Right, well, it was nice to meet you, (Y/N),” his deep voice had you hanging onto every word.

You could only smile as the two of you parted ways. Your face was flushed and you were grinning like a schoolgirl from the interaction as you continued toward your friends. Maybe you could blame the icy wind for your pink cheeks.

“Wow,” Chandler spoke up as you took a seat next to Rachel, “Could you be any more in love?”

Rachel laughed while Monica grinned behind her cup of coffee.

“In love? With who?” Ross asked, having missed the entire interaction between you and mystery-Dean.

Phoebe nonchalantly gestured toward the gorgeous and his companion, “That guy, obviously,” she rolled her eyes.

“What guy?” Joey was curious now, too.

“The one at the bar,” Monica chimed in, sitting her coffee down on the table in front of her.

“Did you get his number?” Rachel ­­­­­­­­­­­­­animatedly asked before adding, “Ugh, he’s so pretty I could cry.”

“Guys, stop,” you finally spoke up, biting your bottom lip once more. You had done your best to avoid looking toward Dean while your friends teased you, but you found your gaze drifting his way despite your best efforts. Your (Y/E/C) eyes met the jeweled tone of his green irises from across the room and you realized he had been staring as much as you had wanted to stare.

“I didn’t get his number…. but maybe I will,” you grinned, standing once more and leaving your friends behind. If anything could warm you up on a cold wintery New York night, you were willing to bet it was Dean.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Santa Stole My Girlfriend

Fandom: Friends

Pairing: Chandler Bing x Original Character x Joey Tribbiani

Characters: Chandler Bing, Original Character, Joey Tribbiani, Ross Geller, Monica Geller, Phoebe Buffay, Rachel Green

Word Count: 1558

Rating: Teen

Tags: One Night Stand, Upset, Angst, Advent Calendar, Songfic, Christmas, Santa, Santa Suit, Flirting, Present Giving, Secret Santa

Summary: Santa, you player I thought we were friends.

Notes: Santa Stole My Girlfriend - The Maine https://youtu.be/d_Pap_GEOyg [updated 9/22]

Advent Calendar of Fics // Day Seventeen  

The party was in full swing. Once again Monica had played hostess to an epic standard. Decorations covered every surface of both apartments. Food was dotted on all available table space and the music thumped providing a welcomed soundtrack to people's conversations. Chandler had made himself cosy by the foosball table. It was a good way of interacting without having to chat much. That was Chandler’s wheelhouse. He was managing well. He had drank a few beers and talked to a few people he didn’t know and was now chilling with a beer while talking to Ross. He was sitting on the lip of the foosball table, balanced precariously over the handlebars when suddenly his balance went from underneath him and he had to leap off of the table to keep from falling. He turned around to find a cute girl standing watching him from the other side of the table. She had a devilish smile on her face, ‘you shouldn’t sit where people want to play you know.’

‘Oh yeah?’ he said.

‘Yeah,’ she replied, ‘besides I doubt those little guys like being subjugated to being sat on.’

‘I bet you’re right,’ he said, ‘so do you want a game or are you just concerned for little wooden men's welfare?

‘I’m an activist for it but I’m all for keeping them in a job,’ she joked. Chandler liked her. She was cute and funny. She seemed to be able to take his jokes and rebuff them back to him which he liked.

‘Do you want to play doubles?’ Ross said as he watched from the sidelines.

‘You have no idea how much I don’t want that,’ Chandler said turning so that only Ross could see his face. His eyes bulged out as he tried to signal for Ross to leave them which he did with a huff. He turned back to see the girl setting up to start the game.

‘So,’ he said as she started the ball rolling, ‘are you having a good time?’

‘Oh yeah, I love parties where I know almost no one,’ she chuckled.

‘I know what you mean. Why do you think I cling to this so much,’ he chuckled before he flicked his wrist causing one of his men to hit the ball with such force the ball darted from one end of the table to the other and into her goal.

‘I see that’s why you’re so good,’ she commented realigning herself.

‘You could say it’s my greatest skill,’ he said, ‘or my only skill.’

‘Then it’s a good job you’re cute,’ she said. He was flummoxed. His cheeks flushed red at the compliment and he had to look away so she wouldn’t see how embarrassed he had become. It was an action that went against him as she immediately took the chance to score against him.

‘But not very smart!’ she laughed. Chandler scowled in jest. They played for over an hour. It was a tense competition that eventually gained viewers from both apartments. People watched and jeered as the rivalry grew. Some people even betted on them. It was a dead heat. They were tied 5-5 and Monica was pestering everyone to come open presents in her apartment. The group had groaned but conceded to come after the final match.

‘Okay, okay,’ Chandler said as the crowd chattered around them about bets and wagers.

‘What?’ the girl he had found out was called Alex said.

‘Let’s make this interesting.’

‘What did you have in mind?’ she asked.

‘If I win you have to kiss me,’ he said bravely. The crowd oohed.

‘What if I win?’

‘Make your choice,’ Chandler replied.

‘If I win you have to take me to dinner. Somewhere nice with no guarantees of a kiss at the end.’

‘Fine,’ he said offering a hand forward which she grabbed with gusto and shook.

‘Let’s play.’

It was tense. It was the first one to ten but they were on their best game. The small gathering around them built the tension at every turn with their cheering and booing until finally, Chandler sunk his final shot ending the game and declaring victory.

‘That’s game!’ He said high giving some of the onlookers and walking around the table to Alex who stood in front of him with a pout on her face.

‘Lucky shot,’ she scoffed but Chandler said nothing and instead just bent to her height and pursed his lips prepping for a kiss. Alex didn’t move.

As Chandler waited patiently for his kiss he grew concerned as it didn’t come and opened his eyes to find a deserted apartment. He followed the open doors to the other apartment where Monica was standing in the middle of the room commanding attention for the exchange of secret Santa gifts. Chandler spotted Alex standing by the kitchen sink and made his way over to her.

‘Don’t think I’ll forget about it you know,’ he said with a soft smile.

‘I don’t doubt that,’ she replied, ‘but I’m not missing out on presents to kiss the guy I lost foosball to.’

‘Well, I hope Santa delivers early so I can get my second gift of the night.’

‘We’ll see,’ she said. After that, she left Chandler’s side to go more into the group who were watching Monica intently just as she announced the arrival of Santa.

Joey dressed in full Santa regalia appeared from Rachel’s bedroom with a sack of gifts. The party burst into a frenzy as one by one people stood up to claim a gift. It was a take a gift and leave a gift situation and since he knew Joey hadn’t put anything in he hung back not wanting to cheat innocent partygoers out of a present. He ended up chatting to Ross about the gift he had tried to ensure went to Rachel in secret Santa. He was hoping he could woo her with an exquisite bracelet she had longed for on a shopping trip they had taken a few weeks ago. However, the gift had skipped past her and ended up in Phoebe's possession. He had asked Chandler for help on how to convince Phoebe to trade him so he could get it to Rachel himself.

In the kerfuffle, he lost sight of Alex and soon left Ross to his own devices. He looked all around Monica and Rachel’s apartment for her but found nothing. She wasn’t out in the hallway or in the living room of his apartment. He checked the bathroom and even his room but found her nowhere.

He was gutted. She had seemed to really connect with him and she had even offered to go to dinner with him if she won the bet. Why would she just walk out?

He was down for the rest of the party. He joined the gang for the duration and even helped Monica tidy up afterwards before stalking to his room with a heavy heart.

He woke the next day and made himself some breakfast in an attempt to soak up the booze. As he ate his french toast on his barker lounger his roommate's door opened and revealed a tired-looking Joey. He was in just his boxers and a T-shirt and he smiled at Chandler as he sat down next to him whilst simultaneously robbing a piece of french toast off of his plate.

‘French toast,’ Joey said with a mouth full of food, ‘this is your hangover food. How much did you drink last night?’

‘Not a lot. I spent most of the night playing foosball.’

‘Tell me again why you didn’t get roped into being Santa?’ Joey asked with a smile.

‘I don’t think sarcastic Santa is what Monica had in mind,’ Chandler replied, ‘though I had as much luck with the ladies as I would have if I were wearing a Santa suit.’

‘I don’t know it seemed to work for me,’ Joey said.

‘What?!’ Chandler asked flabbergasted.

‘Yeah, keep it down she’s still in my room,’ Joey said motioning to the door.

‘H-h-h-h-how? How?’

Joey shrugged. As Chandler revelled in the admission Joey’s door cracked open and a girl stepped out. Chandler looked at her. She was dressed in the top half of a Santa suit and her hair was full bedhead but there was no denying that it was Alex.

‘Hey,’ she said awkwardly looking between both boys.

‘Mornin,’ Joey said with a smile. Chandler didn’t say anything.

‘Can I use your bathroom?’ She said and Joey nodded and pointed in its direction and watched her as she scurried across the apartment and into the bathroom.

‘You slept with Alex?’ Chandler asked.

‘Yeah, why do you know her?’ Joey asked.

‘No,’ Chandler lied. Sadness filled his core as he watched Joey leap up from his chair and rob another piece of toast, ‘you might want to turn the tv up this might get loud.’

And with that, he disappeared into the bathroom leaving Chandler sitting by himself listening to giggles and moans coming from the bathroom.

He couldn’t keep a girl. Even around Santa.

Santa, you bitch

Didn't get a damn thing from my Christmas list

All I got was this broken heart and that's it

Santa, you bitch

Oh, there's only one thing that I truly wish

I wish my old girl would've never kissed Saint Nick