#ic. camille preaker.

[godblooded]

@conqveror asked :  if you want me to leave, i will. zillie when zara first arrives in wind gap

“ no! ”

we are drowning there is no sign of land you are going down with me hand in unlovable hand and i hope-- 

the static screams from my car radio and i can hear the mountain goats inside the ungodly drone. when i grip her sleeve i stumble, and when i stumble i almost take her down with me. the only thing left now are the hashtag-shaped scrapes that rip the fabric of my leggings, bloody my knees as childishly as i feel.

“ please. please no god please don’t leave shit please don’t leave. ”

the thought robs me of every breath i’ve ever taken, from infancy to this minute on the sidewalk. 

[queen-helaenas-pet-spider]

Sandor: *Spends his whole life trying to prove that he's not as bad as his older brother, Gregor {who r*pes, kills, etc}*

Rorge: *Stole Sandor's identity by somehow getting his grubby paws on Sandor's famous Hound helmet, and wearing it during a r*ping and killing spree with friends*

Most "Fans": *Actually believe Sandor regrets not r*ping and killing Sansa Stark {who he loves most} before he fled King's Landing {he was dying and was saying whatever he could to get Arya Stark *Sansa's litle sister* to finally end his suffering, but she robbed him and left him for dead}*

Sandor:

[timmchalamet]

MOBILE ABOUT ME

★ general info:

natalia, thirty one, she/her, latina, isfp, in a relationship.

★ previous urls:

cassjyn, nataliajames, theresebelivet, betharmon, shinsabine.

★ things i love:

» general: star wars, marvel, cats, art, music, literature, poetry, films, tv shows, manga. » movies: black swan, atonement, never let me go, carol, american psycho. » tv shows: sharp objects, dark, the queen's gambit, stranger things, skins. » characters: natasha romanoff, camille preaker, nina sayers, beth harmon, jyn erso, anakin skywalker, nancy wheeler, zuko, regulus black. » ships: rebelcaptain, finnrey, cherik, buckynat, zutara, skysolo, shinsabine, stucky. » people: timothee chalamet, james mcavoy, toshiya, amy adams, kristen stewart, lupita nyong'o, zoe kravitz, zendaya, hunter schafer. » music: dir en grey, radiohead, evanescence, linkin park, my chemical romance, paramore, ice nine kills, placebo, deftones, the agonist, bring me the horizon.

★ elsewhere:

letterboxd, lastfm, spotify.

[balkanradfem]

Favourite Fictional Women poll: FINAL LIST nominations + RULES (nominations closed)

Books:

Elphaba (Wicked)

Hermione (Harry Potter)

Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter)

Luna (Harry Potter)

Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter)

Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle)

Bella Swan (Twilight)

Lucy (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Susan (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

Jo (Little Women)

Alanna (The Song of the Lioness)

Ichigo (Kamikaze Girls)

Momoko (Kamikaze Girls)

Phryne Fisher (Phryne Fisher Detective Novels)

Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)

Robin Ellacott (Cormoran Strike)

Baru Cormorant (The Masquerade Series)

Gideon (The Locked Tomb)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb)

Tattersail (Malazan Book of the Fallen)

Lyra (His Dark Materials)

Lisbeth Salander (The Millenium Trilogy)

Daja Kisubo (Circle of Magic)

Éowyn (Lord of the Rings)

Honor Harrington (Honor Harrington)

Zahrah (Zahrah the Windseeker)

Clair (Outlander)

Margo (The Magicians)

Camille Preaker (Sharp Objects)

Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Cersei (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Daenerys Targaryen (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Arya (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Sansa ( A Song of Ice and Fire)

Rhaenyra Targaryen (Fire and Blood)

Eileen Dunlop (Eileen)

Romy Silvers (The Loneliest Girl in the Universe)

Lúthien (Sillmarilion)

Lady Sotofa (Echo series)

Esme Weatherwax (Discworld)

Angua von Überwald (Discworld)

Susan Sto Helit (Discworld)

Tiffany Aching (Discworld)

Nina Hill (The Bookish Life of Nina Hill)

Keladry (Protector of the Small series)

Shay (Uglies)

Cassie (Animorphs)

The Groke (the Moomins)

Tooticky (the Moomins)

Maximum Ride (Maximum Ride)

Auri (Kingkiller Chronicles)

Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

Emily Starr (Emily of New Moon)

Penelope (Circe by Madeline Miller)

Rose Hathaway (Vampire Academy)

Katsa (Graceling)

Yennefer of Vengerberg (Witchier)

Dr. Scarlet Clarke (They Never Learn)

Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows)

Ronja (Ronja)

Violet (Asoue)

Medea (Greek Mythology)

Medusa (Greek Mythology)

Jude (Folk of the Air)

Agatha (Girl Genius)

Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

Carrie (Carrie)

Movies

Miss Honey (Matilda)

Matilda (Matilda)

Barbie (Barbie's universe)

Ellen Louise Ripley (Alien)

Evelyn O'Connell (The Mummy)

Peggy Carter (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Sarah Conner (Terminator)

Cruella de Vil (Cruella)

Yzma (Emperor's New Groove)

Dr. Ellie Sattler (Jurrasic Park)

Harley Quinn (DC universe)

Amy Dunne (Gone Girl)

Jennifer (Jennifer's Body)

Maude Lebowski (Big Lebowski)

Eurodia Holmes (Enola)

Amy Adam (Arrival)

Ginger Fitzgerald (Ginger Snaps)

Mary Mason (American Mary)

Elsa (Frozen)

Mulan (Mulan 1998)

Beatrix Kiddo (Kill Bill)

O-Ren Ishii (Kill Bill)

Trinity (Matrix)

Sidney Prescott (Scream movies)

Dani Ardor (Midsommar)

M3gan (M3gan)

Aila (Rhymes for Young Ghouls)

Princess Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire)

Mother Aughra (Dark crystal)

Elizabeth Swan (Pirates of the Carribean)

Marla Grayson (I care a lot)

Heloise (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)

Diana (Wonder Woman)

San (Princess Mononoke)

Zeniba (Spirited Away)

Chihiro (Spirited Away)

Wlle Woods (Legally Blonde)

Rey (Star Wars)

Princess Leia (Star Wars)

Haley Graham (Stick it)

Cruella (101 Dalmatian)

Kiki (Kiki's Delivery Service)

TV Shows

Xena (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Gabrielle (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Callisto (Xena the Warrior Princess)

Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Faith Lehane (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sabrina (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

Morgana Pendragon (Merlin)

Catharine Cawood (Happy Valley)

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Martha Jones (Doctor Who)

Female Doctor Who (Doctor Who)

Kaya (Supernatural)

Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)

Claire (Supernatural)

Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)

Anna Clare (Being Human)

Poussey Washington (Orange is the New Black)

Sister Michael (Derry Girls)

Orla (Derry Girls)

Hayley (Hard Candy)

Vilanelle (Killing Eve)

Eve (Killing Eve)

Anne Lister (Gentleman Jack)

Ann Walker (Gentleman Jack)

Kim (Kim Possible)

Daria Morgendorffer (Daria)

Temperance Brennan (Bones)

Kim Wexler (Better Call Saul)

Katara (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Azula (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Toph (Avatar The Last Airbender)

Krosh (Kid Cosmic)

Guinan (Star Trek New Generations)

Bo-Katan Kryze (Star Wars)

Dong Eun (The Glory)

Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

April Ludgate (Parks and Recreation)

Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99)

Dana Scully (X Files)

Kathryn Janeway (Star Trek: Voyager)

Calamity Jane (Deadwood)

Flea (Fleabag)

Michonne (The Walking Dead)

Trixie (Call the Midwife)

Sister Monica Joan (Call the Midwife)

Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)

Emma Swan (Once Upon a Time)

Ruby Lucas (Once Upon a Time)

Mulan (Once Upon a Time)

Samatha/Sam Carter (Stargate SG-1)

Kira Nerys (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Jadzia Dax(Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

Eleanor (The Good Place)

Annalise Keating (How to Get Away with Murder)

Cheryl Blossom (Riverdale)

Miranda Bailey (Grey’s Anatomy)

Lizzie McGuire (Lizzie McGuire)

Catherine the Great (The Great)

Dolores Abernathy (Westworld)

Maeve Millay (Westworld)

Lorelai (Gilmore Girls)

Paris (Gilmore Girls)

Morticia Addams (Addams Family)

Elisa Maza (Gargoyles)

Vera Bennett (Wentworth (2013)

Joan Ferguson (Wentworth (2013)

Constance Hardbroom (The Worst Witch (1998)

Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time)

Marceline the Vampire Queen (Adventure Time)

Monica (Friends)

Phoebe (Friends)

Maisel (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)

Shiv Roy (Succession)

Hannah (Please Like Me)

Lupe (A League of Their Own)

Jess (A League of Their Own)

Shahrzad (One Thousand and One Nights)

Michael Burnham (Star Trek Discovery)

 Emperor Phillipa Georgiou (Star Trek Discovery)

Dee Reynold (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Kara Thrace (Battlestar Galactica)

Donna (Twin Peaks)

Laura palmer (Twin Peaks)

Audrey(Twin Peaks)

Marwa (What we do in the Shadows)

Nadja (What we do in the Shadows)

Love Quinn (You)

Allison (Orphan Black)

Cosima (Orphan Black)

Nyota Uhura (Star Trek: The Original Series)

Lisa Cuddy (House MD)

Leela (Futurama)

Bean (Disenchantment)

Pam (Archer)

Grace (Grace and Frankie)

Frankie (Grace and Frankie)

Helga Pataki (Hey Arnold)

Anime/Manga

Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle)

Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)

Hotaru - Sailor Saturn (Sailor Moon)

Michiru – Sailor Neptune (Sailor Moon)

Haruka – Sailor Uranus (Sailor Moon)

Rei – Sailor Mars (Sailor Moon)

Homura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Sakura Kinomoto (CardCaptor Sakura)

Tomoyo Daidouji (CardCaptor Sakura)

Onpu (Ojamajo Doremi)

Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)

Striga (Castlevania)

Carmilla (Castlevania)

Misa Amane (Death Note)

Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Shinobu Kocho (Demon Slayer)

Utena (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Nana Osaki (Nana)

Hachi (Nana)

Jean (Claymore)

Clare (Claymore)

Theresa (Claymore)

Helen (Claymore)

Deneve (Claymore)

Casca (Berserk)

Haruno Sakura (Naruto)

Yosano (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Tome Kurata (Mob Psycho 100)

Nikaido (Dorohedoro)

Nia (Dorohedoro)

Maki Zen'in (Jujutsu Kaisen 0)

Yuno Gasai (Mirai Nikki)

Ichigo Momomiya (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Zakuro Fujiwara (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Historia Reiss (Attack on Titan)

Mikasa Ackermann (Attack on Titan)

Games

Nancy Drew (Nancy Drew)

April Ryan (The Longest Journey)

Kate Walker (Syberia)

Zelda (Legend of Zelda)

Impa (Legend of Zelda)

Urdosa (Legend of Zelda)

Evie Frye (Assassin's Creed)

Senua (Senua's Sacrifice)

Aloy (Horizon Zero Dawn)

Elisabet Sobeck (Horizon Zero Dawn)

Serena (Skyrim)

Frea (Skyrim)

Morrigan (Dragon Age Origins)

Kreia (Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II)

Kassandra of Sparta (Assassin's Creed Odyssey)

Heather Mason (Silent Hill 3)

Reika (Fatal Frame)

Rei (Fatal Frame:The Tormented)

An Shiraishi (Project SEKAI)

Nene Kusanagi (Project SEKAI)

Ena Shinonome (Project SEKAI)

Jesse Faden (Control)

Almalexia (The Elder Scrolls)

Billie Lurk (Dishonored)

Emily Kaldwin (Dishonored)

Cecelia (Dishonored)

Lizzy Stride (Dishonored)

Delilah Copperspoon (Dishonored)

Lohse (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Sebille Kaleran (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Siva (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Malady (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Dallis the Hammer (Divinity: Original Sin II)

Toriel (Undertale)

Undyne (Undertale)

Alphys (Undertale)

Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya (Mass Effect)

Liara T'Soni (Mass Effect)

Aria T'Loak (Mass Effect)

Nyreen Kandros (Mass Effect)

Shala'Raan vas Tonba (Mass Effect)

Matriarch Aethyta (Mass Effect)

Yuna (Final Fantasy X)

Abby (The Last of Us)

Ellie (The Last of Us)

GLaDOS (Portal)

Chell (Portal)

Dr. Suvi Anwar (Mass Effect Andromeda)

Leliana (Dragon Age)

Parvati Holcomb (The Outer Worlds)

Chloe Price (Life is Strange)

2B (Nier Automata)

Comics

Stephanie Brown (DC comics)

Cassandra Cain (DC comics)

Zatanna Zatara (DC comics)

Elektra Natchios (Marvel comics)

Fanfiction

Ebony Dark'ness Raven Dementia Way

Web comics

Vriska Serket (Homestuck)

Jaden (Leasebound)

Antimony Carver (Gunnerkrigg Court)

Fictional Movies

Katya (Goncharov)

Podcasts

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home from (Welcome to Nightvale)

Plays

Lady Mabeth (Macbeth)

Clytemnestra (Oresteia)

Miscellanous

Hatsune Miku (Vocaloid)

RULES:

All fictional women from a category will be randomized, and put into polls

Whoever gets 50 votes automatically proceeds into the next round. There won't be only one winner for each poll!

We will do one category at the time. We'll start with books.

We'll decide on a winner of each category, and then whoever had the most votes, will proceed into the Final 10.

I'll calculate how many votes each woman got, so that at the end of the voting, you can see how many other women also adored your favourite ones :)

This also means that once you vote, if there's someone else you also want to see in the finals, you can reblog and let your followers know who already has enough votes, and who needs more in order to proceed. I'll also sometimes reblog polls announcing that a certain character has made the cut, and now others need your attention. We're trying to see which ones are loved and adored enough to actually get a lot of votes, even with competition. The voting starts at the end of nominations!

(POLLS ARE COMING SHORTLY)

[charlottenewtons]

Tagged by @carrievvhite and @marwyn

Rules: Make a poll of your favorite female characters (no limits - as many or as little as you want) and see which your followers like the most.

Tagging: @gloriadenton @bedeliainwonderland @apprenticemockingbird and @elcctra

[ultraviolcnces]

some women aren't made to be mothers, and some women aren't made to be daughters.

THE ICE QUEEN ⸻ old wine corks and empty champagne flutes, a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort, a lingering whiff of expensive perfume, a closet full of custom couture, a crown too big for your head, designer sunglasses that hide the cunning glint in your eyes, the cruelty in absence, an apple meant to end dynasties, glass crunching beneath stiletto heels.

trigger warning: substance abuse, pregnancy.

NAME: jacqueline of montmorency.

NICKNAMES: jac ( preferred ), jackie ( only use this if you wish to be cursed out ).

BIRTHDAY & AGE: january 28th; forty-six years old.

ZODIAC: aquarius.

BIRTHPLACE: london, england.

OCCUPATION: editor-in-chief of british vogue.

GENDER: cis woman, she/her.

SEXUALITY: bisexual, female leaning.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: it's complicated.

CHILDREN: one daughter.

THREE POSITIVE TRAITS: beguiling, forthright, driven.

THREE NEGATIVE TRAITS: condescending, ruthless, self-destructive.

CHARACTER PARALLELS: elvira hancock; scarface. claire underwood; house of cards. camille preaker; sharp objects. nicole mossbacher; the white lotus.

SONG INSPIRATIONS: girlie; alexandra savior. teen idle; marina. this is what makes us girls; lana del rey. donatella; lady gaga. tears dry on their own; amy winehouse. bang bang bang bang; sohodolls. all the things she said; t.a.t.u. glory and gore; lorde. rip her to shreads; blondie. doin’ time; lana del rey.

TO SUMMARIZE !

being born into a life that was the envy of others wasn’t always what it was cracked up to be. jacqueline didn’t grow up surrounded by the warmth and tenderness that was typical in happy families. the riches and influence the montmorency name held was, of course, a privilege, but as it turns out, money can’t buy a mother’s affection — something she learnt early on. her mother loved her, she knew that, but in her own strange, distant way and that was something she had a hard time dealing with. the family’s status and duty took priority, which meant the young girl was left in the care of a gaggle of nannies more often than not. and honestly? sometimes they felt more like family than her own flesh and blood.

into her adulthood self-medicating with painkillers became a way for her to numb the emotions she had learnt to bottle up inside of her when they became too much. it started as a one off thing until it became a habit that felt as natural to her as brushing her teeth. she has yet to break the habit, still carrying herself through life with a pill bottle within arms reach.

she married young after becoming pregnant unexpectedly, her mother was adamant that she tie the knot with her beau before she began to show, there was no way she would allow her daughter to have a child out of wedlock. the damage such a thing would do to the her reputation was too dear.

motherhood had never been in her plan, the fear of turning into her own mother plagued her, causing her to decide to forgo having a family of her own. but life brought her a curveball in the form of a positive pregnancy test. that was then she decided she would strive to have the relationship with her child that she wished she could have had with her own mother.

her marriage lasted ten years, but its demise had arrived much sooner. they stayed together for convenience for years until one day her husband had returned home with the news that not only did he have a mistress, but he didn’t love jacqueline anymore and planned to leave her for the other woman.

one would think she’d be heartbroken but she wasn’t. he had become a dead weight, a nuisance in her life that she honestly wished would fall off the face of the earth. the only good thing that came from their marriage was noémie, their daughter.

coming from a bloodline that was powered by ruthlessness, she is a cold and cunning woman. the kind that could have you obliterated with a snap of her fingers. there are few she lets into her heart — her daughter being at the very top of the list. if someone doesn’t interest her or can’t do anything that will personally benefit her, she deems them useless. the latter being proof that she is her mother’s daughter.

[lawlessfm]

Can you give some muse influence examples?

Oh,   yes!    One of my favorite parts of the application,    personally   —     I adore seeing what the vibe of a character is going to bring to the group!       Some influences I could see would be:     ZOYA NAZYALENSKY ( GRISHAVERSE ),     BABA YAGA ( RUSSIAN FOLKLORE ),        FRODO BAGGINS ( LORD OF THE RINGS ),     MICHAELA PRATT ( HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER ),     DARTH VADER ( STAR WARS ),      VITO CORLEONE ( THE GODFATHER ),      SAM WILSON ( MARVEL COMICS ),      TONY SOPRANO ( THE SOPRANOS ),      JON SNOW ( A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE ),    KI-WOO ( PARASITE ),      ROSITA ESPINOSA ( THE WALKING DEAD ),        DANA SCULLY ( THE X-FILES ), NINA SAYERS ( BLACK SWAN ),      SATO ( TOKYO VICE ),      DEREK MORGAN ( CRIMINAL MINDS ),   JAE-YEON ( NIGHT IN PARADISE ),      DICK GRAYSON ( DETECTIVE COMICS ),      OLIVIA POPE ( SCANDAL ),        JOON-WOO JANG ( VINCENZO ),     AND CAMILLE PREAKER ( SHARP OBJECTS ).      I hope this helps,   angel!     

[president-and-godemperor-forlife]

share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

Thank you for tagging me @playlistashton. Sorry it took me forever 😭. This was really hard 💀 I have way too many.

1. Jason Todd (Comics/Animation)

2. Kratos (God of War 2018)

3. Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire)

4. Tiny Tina (Borderlands series)

5. Harley Quinn (Comics, movies, and animation)

6. Inej (Six of Crows)

7. Ellie Williams (The Last of Us)

8. Cersei Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire)

9. Aemond Targaryen (House of The Dragon)

10. Camille Preaker (Sharp Objects)

Honorable mentions: Darth Vader (Star Wars), Aloy (Horizon series), Mare (Mare of East Town), Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows), The Outsider (Dishonored), Daud and Billie (Dishonored), Alicent Hightower (House of The Dragon), Klaus (The Vampire Diaries), Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)

[undure]

CHILDREN  WILL  HAVE  FITS.     amma  is  sweetened  candy  and  rots  like  it,   too       [       a  tooth  jammed  hard  into  gums  and  losing  its  outer  veneer,    sugar  exposes  a  nerve  buried  deep       ].       i  hear  my  therapist’s  voice  and  know  that  if  good  old  marge  was  a  candy,    she’d  be  burning  liquorice  devoured  after  you’d  just  brushed  your  teeth       (       AMMA   :       candy  floss       ---       i  would  be  lemon  drops  made  to  cure  illness,    turned  instead  into  a  quick  treat       ).       ‘       you  can  make  all  the  noise  you  want,    i’m  not  getting  you  anything  that  costs  over  a  hundred  dollars  for  your  dollhouse.       ‘       patience  is  sticky  -  thin,     the  stripe  of  cough  syrup  bursting  free  from  the  lemon  drop       (      it  burns  my  mouth  and  there  is  a  part  of  me  that  is  aching,    people  -  pleaser  at  heart,    pushover  carved  into  my  outer  left  thigh       ).       ‘      AMMA!       enough  of  this.       ‘       i  stand,    the  opposite  of  imposing,     a  shadow  -  woman  moving  closer  to  wrap  my  arms  around  amma.    HERE  COMES  THE  WORST  PART   :       ‘       i  love  you.      ‘

@hallowburnt  liked  for  a  starter.

[banrionanuaignis]

Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests

 TAGGED BY: @alexcabotgf (ty this was so fun!!)

MUSIC

fave genre? indie or folk, and all variations of them

fave artist? simon and garfunkel, mitski, sufjan stevens, taylor swift, lana del rey, fiona apple, beach house, vampire weekend, lucy dacus, adrianne lenker, phoebe bridgers

fave song? ugh so many but atm moon song/ savior complex - phoebe bridgers, love song - ldr or sparks - coldplay

song currently stuck in your head? two sides of a smile - dave (so good)

5 fave lyrics? i have so many faves so these are gonna be the first ones i can think of off the top of my head

if you hold me without hurting me / you’ll be the first who ever did - cinnamon girl, lana del rey

there’s blood on that blade / fuck me i’m falling apart - no shade in the shadow of the cross, sufjan stevens

you don’t know what you want / but you know that you had it once / and you know that you want it back - crack baby, mitski

i’ve never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try - mirrorball, taylor swift

i am a toy that people enjoy / till all of the tricks don’t work anymore / and then they are bored of me - liability, lorde

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on 

BOOKS

fav book genre? female-centred adult contemporary fiction

fav writer? otessa mossfegh, megan abbott, celeste ng, gillian flynn and donna tartt are the ones ive read most of so ill say them

fav book? ugh so many, atm ill say my dark vanessa or the idiot (elif batuman)

fav book series? a song of ice and fire, and the rachel riley series by joanna nadin basically got me through my teen years

comfort book? best friends jacqueline wilson, which i read like 100 times when i was ten.

perfect book to read on a rainy day? anything by morgan matson, easy read and remind me of summer days, or any romance.

fave characters? sansa stark, camille preaker, lila cerullo, marianne sheridan (mainly cus i relate to them)

5 quotes from your fave books that you know by heart? working with what i have on hand, i just moves so none of my books are in the same country :(

he’s more myself than i am, whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same - emily bronte, wuthering heights

i wanted to know how it was going to turn out, like flipping ahead in a book. i didn't even know what kind of story it was, or what kind of role i was supposed to be playing - elif batuman, the idiot

sometimes it feels like that's all I'm doing every time i reach out - trying to haunt, to drag him back in time, asking him to tell me again what happened. make me understand it once and for all. because I'm still stuck here. i cant move on - kate elizabeth russell, my dark vanessa

because wherever i sat - on the deck of a ship or at a street café in paris or bangkok - i would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stweing in my own sour air - sylvia plath, the bell jar

my skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel - g.r.r martin, a storm of swords

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS  | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre? drama, classic romance, dark comedy

fave movie? happy together or cabaret

comfort movie? any teen romcom, but ten things i hate about you is my number one

fave tv show? twin peaks, succession, svu, bojack horseman and doctor who will always have a place in my heart

most rewatched tv show? friends 

5 fave characters?

shelly johnson/laura palmer (narrartive twins but opposite reactions) - twin peaks

kendall roy - succession

amelie - amelie

kat stratford - 10 things i hate about you

chandler bing/ phoebe buffay - friends

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging  | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once (rewatch movies and fave episodes, but usually only watch a show once)

im tagging anyone who wants to do this!

[godblooded]

" come to london with me. " @ camille from zee

you're standing in your bathroom. the lights are halogen, humming, buzzing. come to london with me. you repeat her words in your head while you stare at the mirror chips reflecting back from your eyes. you're so pale slathers of blush are the only thing that might animate such an ashen face. you close your eyes and listen to the road bump beneath her car -- imagine where she is, what she looks like, what she's looking at. amma's hands snaked around natalie keene's sweet little throat and click the viewfinder next click momma ladling sickly sweet syrup into your mouth click next you choking sprawled across the freezing ivory--

you're pressing the corner of the counter sharp into your arm like you're desperate to feel the prick. you feel sinking disappointment whenever it doesn't break skin. your eyes could bleed off your face, watering relentlessly. they burn. you swallow so hard you choke. you're such an ugly cryer.

" i think it's getting bad again. "

[chandlerrosen]

♔ — uneasy is the head that wears the crown — ♔ 

introducing: chandler rosen as [ the tomboy ]

name: judith chandler rosen - has been going by chandler since she was six years olds, do not call her judith, i don’t think anyone even knows her name is judith at this point

age & date of birth: twenty-one, april 14, 1998 

gender & pronouns: demigirl, she/they

sexuality: bisexual

fc: diana silvers

character parallels: eve polastri [ killing eve ]; queen anne [ the favourite ]; jo march [ little women ]; jenny mellor [ an education ]; hamlet [ hamlet ]; camille preaker [ sharp objects ]; catherine earnshaw [ wuthering heights ]; scarlett o’hara [ gone with the wind ]; arya stark [ a song of ice and fire ]; donna hayward [ twin peaks ]; willow rosenberg [ buffy the vampire slayer ] 

♔ — life’s but a walking shadow a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. | background — ♔

born in the upper-middle class suburbs of pittsburgh, pennsylvania to two parents who cared not about chandler the person, but rather chandler the reflection of them. they never laid a hand on her, gave her every comfort she could ask for, but they were/are too self-absorbed to really love her like a parent should love their child. 

her mother, aging beauty she was, and former stage starlet in an off-off-broadway production of cat on a hot tin roof, pushed chandler into taking acting classes, first enrolling her at the tender age of four. her feelings wavered towards acting but it wasn’t until her sophomore year of high school, in a production of a midsummer night’s dream, where she feel in love with it. and all because of a girl. 

her name was emily, and chandler thought she pulled the sun in the sky, hell thought she was the sun in the sky. emily was cast as hermia, chandler as demetrius. how fitting — demetrius doesn’t get the girl, and neither did she. nothing bad happened, chandler was just nervous and didn’t know how to show her emotions. sad. 

her role as demetrius started her long journey into tackling male roles, and only male roles, for the simple reason that her high school theatre department didn’t have enough boys to fill all of the required roles. and then she got good at it, and frankly, her mother did not care what role she got as long as it was a prominent one. 

chandler didn’t want to go to alderidge, not really. she liked that it was on the other side of the country, far out of her mother’s grasp, and she liked that it was a smaller, older school. she wanted to study literature, or philosophy, but her mother, of course, pushed her into acting, and only the best of the best would do. so they compromised — at least at alderidge, she could study shakespeare. and then, she got a full ride, and it was the only school she could afford to go to. how serendipitous. 

somewhere around her senior year of high school, her dad got into a lot of financial trouble, but they tried to keep it away from chandler. however, that plan doesn’t quite work when chandler’s mother views her more as a confidante, a vessel to fill her head with poisonous ideas about her husband, rather than a daughter. so chandler knew all about how her father got them into this mess, how he would ruin their lives, hence why she went to alderidge. and also why she never swayed from male roles, because she needed to keep her scholarship and stay in orson’s good graces (which as we all know, she was mayhaps a little too good at doing). 

so now we speak of it. the affair. torrid, passionate, all-consuming. it started one night, she stayed at rehearsals late, going over her lines, and she had gotten a text earlier in the day from her mother, letting her know that the house is in foreclosure. so it rattled her, made her kinda mess up at rehearsals. something unlike her, chandler is a perfectionist, and makes sure she knows all of her lines, so orson knew something was up. 

she didn’t realize he was still there, she thought he had gone home with everyone else. but he didn’t. and with some prodding and kind eyes, chandler poured her heart out to him, and he told her he took her seriously, and she fell in love.

chandler really thought her and orson were in love, were the exception to the rule. she’s a bit dramatic, yes, it comes with the territory. she wanted an all-encompassing, consuming, passionate love, like romeo and juliet. he never manipulated her, forced her to do anything she didn’t want to. except the lying. to her friends, her girlfriend, her peers. of course, he didn’t force her to stay with the scene-stealer, that decision fell to her. she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, but then her cake died.

she lost not one, but two people she was in love with: orson, obviously, and the scene-stealer. she’s going to go through all five stages of grief, maybe at once. she’s an actor, she feels things more strongly than anyone else, and there’s a lot to feel: she’s grieving the loss of a man she should have never been with in the first place, refuses to acknowledge that she should have never been with him, lost someone else she loved because of her actions and lied to them about it, and could potentially get kicked out of school because of this affair. mental!

♔ — stars, hide your fires; let not light see my black and deep desires | personality — ♔

before orson’s death, chandler was very mild-mannered, very chill, confident but not cocky. definitely tried to give everyone a chance, and very much wanted to make friends! 

now, however, she is like tony hawk: off the rails. angry at the world, will yell at anyone who looks at her funny, will probably punch anyone who says a bad word about orson, her relationship with him, her involvement in his death (there is none but rumors do be spreading), etc. 

used to be way too trusting! literally if you showed her affection in any way, she trusted you (obviously, a mistake in many situations), because she was literally so desperate for attention.

can be like a little bit pretentious in her tastes, but she just wants to talk about literature and gush over books and philosophy and stuff. not like a know-it-all, though if she knows something, she’ll say it. 

weird obsession with being right all the time. this goes with what i said above, but she needs to be right (like factually, and i guess morally too but we all know she isn’t lmao). had been learning to bite her tongue and choose her battles wisely.

perfectionist, is terrified of disappointing anyone, will cry. will, however, also demand that you recognize her when she fixed it.

a weird combination of a petulant child and stoic philosopher. so basically an aries.

[romanroths]

howdy. my name is mar, i’m 23, i’m out here in est, i go by she/her. this is my emo fuck, roman rothschild as titus. i don’t have a connections page set up yet so fjslkfj. just like this badboi and i’ll come hit you up. so mf excited to be here! feel free to add me on discord @ nyc's salad rat#9307

the basics.

skeleton: titus name: roman alexander rothschild age: 22 faceclaim: nick robinson  gender: cismale  pronouns: he/him degree: chemistry 

the start.

his mother and father were only seventeen when roman was born, freshly out of high school. it would be a lie to dub the pregnancy as anything other than a massive accident, born out of the incessant desire to be known and seen by someone else at that age, right down to your core. what better way to do that then to let them in fully, spreading yourself open so wide that maybe someone might like even the ugly bits of you? maybe they loved each other, but maybe they didn’t. roman never did quite figure it out. they must have at least liked one another to some extent to stick it out, to produce two more lives after him. augustus and lucretia. they weren’t many things but they were consistent. 

new money. how very fitzgerald for a boy from england. how very ironic it is with a name like rothschild. roman’s mother had always claimed they came from royalty, that their blood was tinged with blue. that always seemed like bullshit as far as roman himself was concerned. just because things sounded important did not always mean that they were. but then, one day they were important. fortune has a funny way of finding the most entitled. childhood was almost painfully boring. no traumatic stories or wondrous tales. he was born in bath, and was raised in a flat that was under furnished and a bit small, but cozy nonetheless. he loved it there, and even after moving into their cavernous home in london when the money trickled in, felt more at home in bath amongst the olden architecture. the city was ancient, just like his soul. most of his youth was spent under the sky, devouring books by natural light, a quiet and calm boy who hardly ever even scraped a knee. his mother had resigned herself to looking after roman once he was born, dashing her dreams of being a grand actress for wiping the spit off of roman’s chin. maybe that’s why she harbored a hair of resentment for him. his father went forth to achieve his mba, specializing in computer sciences. he’d later go on to invent some very important, very complicated anti-virus system that ensured the protection of your pc. it was bought and then patented by apple on roman’s eleventh birthday. money was no longer an object. 

graduating to a higher social bracket proved to be more difficult than roman had anticipated. his mother had no issue in the matter, almost immediately swapping her dulled coats and modest silver for furs and diamonds. his father seemed relieved somehow, even if he spent even more time away than before. (though, it was later revealed that this was no longer due to work but due to the twenty-five year old secretary that seduced him. the family functions on a very, don’t ask, don’t tell basis. they all still pretend they don’t know.) even his siblings seemed more taken with their situation, getting lost in harrod’s with his mother, fetching treats they never used to be able to afford and filling their rooms with fun and frill. only roman was miserable. he longed for home. the nosiness of their street caused him to spend the night gaping at his ceiling, tears brimming his eyes. no matter how badly he willed it, he could no longer remember what the air in bath smelled of. he could no longer make out what the local bakery’s hot cross buns tasted like. all the money in the world could not cure his seemingly terminal case of homesickness. 

the preparatory school he attended was a buffet of different flavors of the rich and very posh. some who were even actually were related to the crown, and not in the naive sort of way his mother had claimed. most of them seemed to speak a language of their own, already so determined of their futures. future parliament members just like their parents, or perhaps diplomats. there were even a few children of celebrities, who roman discovered either had a thirst for the crafts of their parents or absolutely abhorred it. there was no middle ground with the children conceived by artists. 

during this period of solitude, roman as we know today was formed. once a sweet and relatively shy boy, he became a scribble of snark, sarcasm, and wit. it was not meant in malice, like many of his classmates and peers thought, but simply his sense of humor, outlook, and demeanor. anyone who was willing enough to befriend him, found him to be composed surprisingly of boyish grins and mischief. he was not the block of ice people made him out to be. all one had to do was offer him the warmth of their trust for him to melt. 

the skill that permitted him into imperium happened somewhat accidentally. worried that their eldest son was falling into a depression, his parents had him seated with a psychologist at fifteen. unbeknownst to him, his mother had stolen the journal he faithfully confided in and presented it to the spidery woman responsible for unspooling the tangle of roman’s thoughts. while she did find some of the contents troubling, most of all she was impressed with the nature in which the boy wrote. a penchant for words, able to bewitch the page and to turn it into the picture perfect image of whatever he envisioned in his brain. poetic and dark, like a brewing storm. she encouraged him to follow this talent, to untether it from his moments of melancholy and allow it to speak for stories. which is what he did. by seventeen he had published two books of poetry, and was working on a murder mystery story, involving two reunited lovers piecing together the murder of a recently deceased childhood friend. despite the fact that the works that he had published were done so anonymously, ashcroft was able to uncover the truth. and so as he entered university, he was accepted with much prestige into imperium. the one and only place that roman felt as though he might belong. that he might actually be happy.

until octavia’s death, of course. 

roman had loved tragedies until he had become one. that all he was now, tragedy with a heartbeat. was it better to love and have it taken from you? or was it better to have not loved at all? all he knows is that he was certain his heart had endured enough when she’d left the first time, he did not know what egregious sin he’d committed to lose her the second time. there was no peace for him anymore. nothing could quell the rainstorm in his soul. not even the things that used to work. laying out in the library with leather books in hand, walking around campus with the rest of the club and laughter in their voice, coffees with too much sugar, the first snowfall. all of it, devoid of anything but misery. ache. death. the only cure would have come in the form of her, octavia’s nimble fingers in his hair. missing her was so jarring, he felt that it was only a matter of time before he too would join her. 

as naive as it was, roman felt grateful for the ghostly visits. first he’d chalked it up to insanity. what else could it be? at least now he could see her, he could hear her, beyond the times when he pulled up videos of her on his phone while the sounds and sights of her were snuffed out by the sounds of his own wailing. he’d rather a shadow of her presence than nothing at all. 

rage came next. he wanted it to be lysander. needed it to be. lysander was responsible for all dissolution of his happiness. it was lysander who had seduced away the one person he’d ever loved. clearly it had to be lysander who had selfishly expelled her from the world too. it felt easier to condense his hatred to one person… roman wasn’t sure if there was enough space left in him to hate anyone else. but to learn this was wrong? roman had no idea what to make of it. it caused him to wet his sheets each night with sweat, to carve bloody moon imprints onto his palms. he felt ravenous for revenge. 

the brain.

[ based off loosely off of: camille preaker, theodore laurie, ponyboy curtis, & draco malfoy ]

+ romantic: it’s no secret that ro is a massive romantic. anyone who saw him interact with octavia could see it clear as day. he genuinely enjoyed the little things in a relationship many thought organically lessened with the hands of time. however, he continued to be spontaneous, attentive, and sweet. he continued with love notes, and presenting flowers whenever he could. even in the way he looked at his love seemed to be veiled in something ancient, something innate like he’d always known her in all of his lives. roman’s romanticism did not stop at tiv, though. it leaked into his poetry, as intense wafts of emotions always seem to steal our words. but there is even a romantic manner in which he treats his friends. he’s a little bit of your boyfriend when you’re close enough friends, to be perfectly honest. the boy has a earnest love for making those he cares for feel looked after. not all loves are amorous in nature, but that does not mean they are not to be cultivated with the same dedication to magic as the one he shared with his beloved. 

+ empathetic: sometimes a negative, mostly a positive roman has the unbearable burden of a heart too large for his mind. he sees whispers of goodness in every person (save for fucking lysander) even if he does not want to. if someone is under duress, or is wallowing in some sort of pain, roman’s instinct is to alleviate their plight. sometimes it comes begrudgingly, as though someone is holding a gun to his temple to execute such a task. not even a hint of a smile dressing his face, but he does it nonetheless, knowing he may be robbed of his sleep if not. but for his friends, he’d gladly die doing right by their hearts. 

+ noble: perhaps roman is of aristocratic blood after all, because roman is the most noble of them all. he’s not quite sure when the moral compass forged itself into his soul, and when it began to guide nearly all of his actions, but one day he woke up and was highly aware of the importance of sticking to one’s words. once he adopts something as the decent thing to do, he has a hard time shaking it. it shackles him. it ensnares him to do the right thing each time. for this reason, he’s been in trouble a few times for sticking his nose where it doesn’t necessarily belong, getting into tiffs with moronic bullies who pick on others or sleazy men with wandering hands. sometimes he wishes he could just mind his own fucking business. it certainly may have prevented him a black eye or two. 

- cynical: you could almost say that from the moment that roman kissed octavia, he could taste the doom on her lips. he certainly did not anticipate her grim ending, but he always knew she was too good for him. too beautiful, too happy, too perfect. just as her fickle gaze wanders, so shall she. but, this frame of mind was not unique to just this singular circumstance, it was roman’s entire mantra. all good in life would be expunged from him eventually. one must always anticipate the worst, and be pleasantly surprised when things pan out. for example, he’s a writer and yet he studies chemistry. why? because he’s afraid that his writing isn’t as good as he believes and will need a fall back. as of now, his fallback is pharmaceutical school. he finds happy endings in movies to be unbelievable. how is it realistic that everyone ends up happier than ever? bullshit. no fucking way. 

- self-destructive: (tw: drug/alcohol mention) he drenches himself in gasoline with the cynicism, but he lights the match by participating in self-destructive behavior. drinking and drugs become a regular part of ro’s life when he’s lounging in a pool of his own pain. he finds it best to numb it, to muffle the screams of doubt in his head with sharp shops of bourbon and snowy lines of cocaine. besides, he always tells himself it may make him a more interesting writer. what’s life without a little scandal, anyway? 

- aloof: despite having a pure heart, roman has a difficult time expressing himself. with page and pen, he manages to do so, but in person? to unlatch your cage of ribs and let someone inside? to watch the softness in your eyes when you admit a secret, or a snippet of deep affection? his shrink had chalked it up to the fact his parents never told him that they loved him. awkward kisses on the head on birthdays and maybe a stiff hug or two in between, but roman himself has always had a painfully hard time coming across as soft as he truly was, no matter how hard he tries. 

the quirks. 

has a tattoo of joan of arc on the left side of his ribcage. that sounds poetic but he also has a tattoo of the lochness monster with sunglasses on that he got while drunk in mexico one summer break.

presses flowers. usually he presses them to make bookmarks. leaves his favorite ones in his favorite books at the library for people to enjoy. if you ask him directly if he’s behind this random kindness though, he’ll tell you to fuck off.

has a pet goldfish that he’s successfully kept alive for six whole fucking years. her name is peaches. i think he’d fully lose it if peaches kicks it sometime soon too.

incredibly gifted when it comes to billiards. is known to drive further out of town to new bars to hustle people for money.

very much a “here’s my other headphone, let’s stare out the window together depressively” when on buses and train with his friends.

if you listen really hard in the library at like 8 pm, you will find him softly cry into the last book octavia checked out. come say hi, pals!

has very conflicting senses of style. likes clean lines and pristinely clean shirts and slacks which he then pairs with his most worn out chucks, and most lived in sweaters. if his shoes are clean and tidy then he has to be in a leather blazer. has this man ever brushed his hair in his life? absolutely not, but literally nothing he owns will ever appear wrinkled.

only has one pin on his leather messenger bag: “eat the rich” it says, as if he and literally most of his friends don’t consist of “the rich.”

his favorite book is love in a time of cholera

is a bit sentimental. he’s the type to keep movie tickets and receipts from good days he’s had with friends. he has them all in a big box, and when things are too heavy to bear he likes to sift through it all and remember all the pieces in time where things didn’t feel so ghastly. 

carries around a disposable camera. roman’s too lazy to get into actual film, but he likes the concept of physical photos, so he’ll usually have his wallet, keys, a book, and the shitty camera stuffed into his coat at all times. please note that his keys have an obnoxious amount of keychains for a man of his age. his favorite one is a koala whose eyes pop out when you squeeze it, gifted to him by his little sister. keeps a photo of his sister, octavia, and his best friend in his wallet, always.

he still hasn’t finished his book. needless to say, his publisher is really fucking pissed. every time someone brings it up, he says, “it’s almost done.” it’s not. not even close.

always always always makes wishes in fountains. keeps coins on him just for that purpose. and no, he never does reveal what he actually wishes for. 

the letter.

tivi, 

the other day i read somewhere that drowning is relatively quick. between the midst of the panic and terror, the average person only has between thirty to sixty seconds before they involuntarily suck in a mouthful of water. the pain of this process is supposed to be so severe, that you pass out. but just before you do, the lack of oxygen sends you into a state of euphoria. you feel nothing but the swath of water’s gentle embrace. it blankets your thoughts, and the water’s clasp around you is meant to bring you comfort, the same way babies like pools. it feels maternal, safe. i used to think love was like that. both terror and elation ribboned and sandwiched down into a single person. it was morbid, to compare death and love, i know that now. but perhaps my self conscious was always preparing me for this. the death of you. the death of my heart. the death of all things colored and pure in this life, all of which is to be buried with you and our child. do you think our baby would have liked pools? 

the pain is visceral. i can feel it, heavy and harsh in my lungs. in the crevices of my bones. in my arms, where the warmth of you lacks. i can even fucking taste it, even the bitter burn of scotch turning to ash in my mouth. no one knows how to approach this, or what to say to me. i keep receiving tight-lipped looks of people awash with pity and sympathy. you always hated when i cried. i did that a lot, didn’t i? a stupid fucking commercial about a father taking his daughter to ballet class and suddenly i’ve got my fists balled up hot and tight, and my eyes are at the ceiling trying to evaporate the ocean in my face. you were the only one i felt safe enough to be a complete an utter wreck in front of. but don’t worry, your headstone will get regular updates of my too loud, too long series of sobs. i’ll be forever faithful. 

i found ten synonyms in the thesaurus for “miss.” pine for, long to see, ache for, feel the loss of, regret the absence of, yearn for, feel nostalgic for, long for, need. none of them seem to fit this all consuming rot that you left behind in my heart. nonetheless, each of these substitute meanings live inside me. when i walk, i can feel them all shifting around, clashing around my insides, against one another, like bits of a snow-globe. except none of this feels glittery. i know it sounds childish, but before the day begins, and just as the misery begins to sink in, my first instinct is always to reach for my phone and call you to tell you about it. there was always honey to be found in your words. god, i fucking miss you.  

i have much to thank you for. it’d be naive to believe i could shrink all of it down into a single page, but i’ll try my best to do you justice. thank you for your patience, that of a saint at times. thank you for allowing me the great honor of your affection. thank you for every shard of laughter you extended to me. thank you for never calling me out on being a fucking awful dancer when i most certainly was. thank you for being the shepherd to my darkest secrets. [ REDACTED SECRET, BAYBEEEE ]  thank you for existing in my life, and washing my world with worth. i wish i could forget it now, but i’m afraid i’ll be chasing this, you, for the rest of forever. at least i have something to chase, i guess. thank you, thank you, thank you. 

tiv, wherever you are… please know that i love you and have loved you from the very moment we met. i would have died for you, but i don’t know if i can live like this for you. i feel carved out, hollow. you took with you every glimmer of light i had left. it’s too dark now… and enough of the prose for a second, i keep crying so god damn much i can barely see. like literally, i think fucking going blind too now. great. guess it really is dark now, huh baby? you would have hated this joke. 

come back. even just for a little while. i love you. i love you, i love you. should have said it more. 

i love you. 

forever yours, 

ro

the extras. 

pinterest board

spotify playlist

thank you for reading all of this if you did lol.

[balkanradfem]

Links to other parts will be added here.

[cthayers]

hiya it is sam back at it with another muse already ... so as you will soon find out i have little to no will power ... and i had no idea we’d be able to take up second muses so soon but i literally was already working on this beotch because i knew i wanted to bring her in eventually ! camila is a v old muse of mine that i have never had the opportunity of playing in a group but i figured this was the perfect opportunity and so here we are . 

did you hear how CAMILA THAYER is applying to columbia university as an ENGLISH major ?! the TWENTY year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + CREATIVE and + PASSIONATE, but honestly i think SHE can be - RESERVED and -ARROGANT. they’re a real ACADEMIC. oh well, only time will tell if the SOPHOMORE will make it til the end.  

full name : camila allen thayer

nickname : cam , cami 

birthday : june 15, 1999

zodiac : gemini sun, cancer moon, aquarius rising 

nationality : american

ethnicity : 1/2 ashkenazi jewish, 1/2 english 

religion : atheist  

sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual , biromantic

hometown : hampton , new hampshire & cheraw , south carolina 

accent : twinge of a southern accent , but mostly a posh new england accent

languages spoken : english , conversational french

major : english 

minor(s) : latin & french

hobbies : reading , horseback riding , tennis , piano playing 

aesthetics : plaid skirts and knee socks , clawfoot bathtubs , sylvia plath poetry books , thin framed glasses , pink highlight , wandering through the met , film cameras , hand written letters + PINTEREST

character parallels : astrid sloan ( the politician ) , camille preaker ( sharp objects ) , amma crellin ( sharp objects ) , camilla macaulay ( the secret history ) , serena vanderwoodson ( gossip girl ) , donna sheridan ( mamma mia here we go again )

personality & headcanons 

camila has always been a quiet individual , especially around those she doesn’t know . calm , cool , collected , many people’s initial impression of her is that she hates them due to her resting bitch face and the lack of acknowledgment she gives before she’s truly comfortable around a person 

she does not open up easily , and doesn’t really know how to handle being loved . so she typically doesn’t let anybody get that close . 

major abandonment issues and daddy issues . so she seeks validation from men and also if she lets you in be prepared to fucking stay 

doesn’t party much because she prefers to stay in and study or be with her closest friends , she drinks but prefers small social gatherings with those she’s close to 

has a nasty cigarette habit and shows no signs of stopping 

her favorite season is the fall , and her favorite holiday is halloween 

i think she’s v mysterious sort of ? like , this really pretty girl that keeps to herself mostly , and her small group of friends , but she’s got this alluring aspect of her that draws some near .. v greek mythology siren esque 

very soft , but also not at all ? like wears skirts and knee socks and berets and flow-y white dresses and sits in coffee shops while it rains reading poetry BUT , she can be dangerous . seductive , arrogant , selfish , and quite emotionless at times . v ice maiden type , will use beauty to get what she wants in the most subtle of ways 

so basically she comes off as this sweet , elegant woman with a soft smile who spends her weekends at museums , but when you get closer to her ( if you get closer to her ) you might see a much darker side to her 

kind of into that witchy shit , so

background

camila was the second child born to marianne allen, though her older brother has a different father. her brother was born when marianne was just seventeen, running away from her perfect new hampshire home and her perfect new hampshire family to raise the child with his father in a small town in south carolina 

they had planned to run away and meet in south carolina , though the father never showed . so it was just marianne and this baby boy , but it wasn’t long before marianne found herself pregnant again , another local farmer boy , thomas thayer 

so camila was born , and it was the four of them in this tiny home that barely fit all of them , and marianne was just shy of twenty and didn’t even want to be a mother , so life wasn’t all that great for the thayers . 

camila’s mother was never very maternal , and her father was a drunk . he didn’t truly love marianne , nor did he love camila very much . he especially didn’t love her brother , who wasn’t even his child . 

camila and her brother stuck together , a dynamic duo of sorts . they were best friends and had each other’s backs through anything . at night , when they could hear their parents fighting , they would cuddle up in bed together and talk about their happiest thoughts , the lives they wished they had , so on . 

at seven , thomas thayer decided to call it quits . he left in the night without so much as a goodbye , and though he had never felt particularly close to camila , camila felt close to him . it was her father after all , and she craved his attention , his validation . 

at nine , her grandparents in new hampshire were finally able to locate them . getting cps involved , they were granted full custody of the kids , and camila and her brother were taken away from their mother and put into a new , grandeur home with these old people they’d never even heard about before . it was not a welcomed change , though it would soon be . 

the first thing she discovered at her grandparent’s home was her grandfather’s library . he was a retired professor at dartmouth , and had an entire room full of literary classics , academic journals , and other first edition books . as a child , camila was not allowed in without his supervision , though she often snuck in without permission . 

she was put into private school where she was expected to achieve excellent marks and commit to extracurriculars , though she was so behind in her schooling due to the underprivileged education system she’d faced in south carolina , that it took her a while to get back on track . though once she did , she excelled . they found that camila was incredibly gifted in creative and liberal subjects , such as art , english , and history . still , she excelled in math and science , though had to put forth a little more effort . 

she took up horseback riding and tennis , but nothing could replace the comfort she felt in cuddling up with a good book from her grandfather’s library , in front of their grand fire place with a mug of her grandmother’s hot cocoa , or playing the piano in her grand parents’ grand hall

though she lived a life of luxury , her and her brother spent two - four weeks every summer going down to visit their mother . each year , as she got older , she began to realize just how broken her mother was , and truly began to understand why her grandparents felt the need to take her children from her . 

camila , though not necessarily a tomboy , had always surrounded herself with boys . all her best friends were boys , and she hardly ever got along with her girl classmates . perhaps it had something to do with growing up so close to her brother , and often befriending his friends . 

when she was sixteen , though , her guy friends started seeing her differently . boys , in general , began to really notice her . this was the first time she realized she was closed off to love . she had a boyfriend during her junior year of high school , and on the night he told her he loved her , she simply responded “ no , you don’t . ”

anyway ! getting accepted into columbia was a dream come true , though no one was all that surprised . she’d also been accepted to dartmouth ( her grandparents’ alma mater and where he taught , and where he’d urged her to go ) and brown , but something about new york city was enticing . she’d always lived in small towns , under twenty thousand people , and moving to a big city with millions seemed like a nice change of pace 

she has made one close knit group of friends during her freshman year , though she’s still only a sophomore and we know how those things change . nonetheless , if you weren’t one of those people , you probably wouldn’t know who she was , because she didn’t get out much ( mayhaps she was seen around campus though ) 

wanted connections !

alright enough about camila if you got through all that i’m so sorry KJAHKSJGH but ! i have quite a few connections i’d love 

the close friends she made freshman year . these would be pretty much the only people camila hung out with last year , and though things can change , the only people she’ll hang out with at the start of this year . i imagine this group to be mostly guys ( though not necessarily exclusively ) , because she tends to befriends boys as opposed to girls ? i’d say about 5 people ! ( 1 / 5 )

her number one best friend . this would have to be a male or male presenting muse , as camila has never found herself that close to a girl , reasons unknown tbh , she just gets along with boys better IDK inspo : ( x , x )  ( 0 / 1 )

close girl friend . that being said , every girl still needs her girlies . so she’d be fairly close to this girl , even if she doesn’t open up that much , perhaps the girl feels like she can open up to camila ? this can all be plotted out ! i feel like camila is a v good secret keeper , she doesn’t talk all that much so you can expect her to keep anything safe lmao ( 0 / 1 )

toxic relationship . sooo tbh this gotta be with a muse who is not a good guy , because camila is not that good of a gal ? . i see this being sort of on again , off again ? i’m not sure if either of them truly feel anything for one another , but they must feel something that keeps them going back to one another . though camila doesn’t really open herself up to love , she’s not necessarily closed off from relationships . ya girl needs to be satisfied and she ain’t the type to sleep around ok ? anyway i see them being really possessive of one another and having p explosive fights , definitely not right for each other and yet !!! also just to be clear , i see them as mutually bad for one another it’s not one sided ! just give me this angst pls . inspo : ( x , x , x , x ) ( 1 / 1 ) lukas tozer

unrequited crush . this would be unrequited on the other muse’s behalf . open to m/f/nb and whether or not camila knows there is a crush there can be plotted out ! basically this just goes along with the hc that camila is very mysterious and allurring from afar , and that those who don’t know her all that well tend to be drawn to her and a lot of times will romanticize her ? but also for extra angst i am possibly thinking that the two are v close and camila does know and won’t let them like her buT we can figure it all out . lmao .  anyway ya inspo : ( x , x , x  , x ) ( 0 / 1 )  

also just general plots i’d love to see : someone she tutors in english or journalism or literature anything regarding that sort of subject , bad influence / someone determined to get her out of her shell ,  enemy plots !! gimme girls who think she’s a snob or boys who think she’s a bitch or everything in between , study buddies , girl crushes because camila is bi and thinks every girl is pretty , give me anything under the sun tbh i’m open to so much 

[heavenlyyshecomes]

i. 10, 17, 18, 19, 20 ii. 4, 5, 7 iii. 1, 9, 12, 13 That's right Sarah I did way too many numbers my bad. Excited for your answers tho! 💕

i. FAVOURITE BOOK...

10. ...in the fantasy genre?

A Song Of Ice & Fire by George R. R. Martin!! Like the series has it's problems but it's one of the best series I've read like it's so engrossing and so rich and expansive I love it!! (Special mention to Six of Crows I haven't read a book that good in so long and it really got me out of my reading slump)

17. ...…that you stayed up too late finishing then couldn’t sleep?

Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson lmao I read that 500 page book in two days because it was soo riveting but there's also gore & violence in it so I was very uncomfortable after

18. …that feels spooky?

Ghost Stories by M. R. James which aren't outright scary but just are creepy because of the atmosphere and setting in them and the dread slowly creeps up on you I really recommend it

20. …that feels like home?

Hmm I don't think there's a particular book just those which I read when I was younger like the Adventure series by Enid Blyton, Percy Jackson, Sherlock Holmes etc

ii. WHAT BOOK IS...

4. ... the longest book you've ever read?

Oh Clash of Kings (from asoiaf series) and the complete Sherlock Holmes are both about 850 pages

7. ...the worst book you've ever read by choice?

SO MANY. But I think the most disappointing recently was A Court Of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas because I really liked the series and this one was a follow-up novella to show what happens after the trilogy ended and it was so so terrible

iii. CHARACTER WHO..

9. …you relate to despite few concrete similarities?

Camille Preaker from Sharp Objects because she has mommy issues to (albeit her's are more severe) and just how she feels when she's back home really hit me

13. …you hate the most without them being a villain?

I was unfortunate enough to read The Throne of Glass series (again by Sarah J. Maas. Honestly what was I expecting) and the main character Aelin was so insufferable I don't know how I got through 4 books (I didn't finish the series tho I valued my braincells more)