#id rather the anxiety do it!!!!!!

[florida3exclamationpoints]

I looooove when my adhd keeps me up all night

[pikslasrce]

anybody else scared .

[ankhisms]

genuine question does anyone have some tips on getting an official diagnosis for adhd in the usa. i was diagnosed with "ADD" as a kid when they still thought there was like a difference between that and adhd. im looking into something in my state that could possibly help me with getting my own housing but id need an official diagnosis

[gripgrep]

Bluh

[thehardkandy]

in my project management class and one of the bullet points of skills for project management is

girl i am certainly in the wrong location

[gentil-minou]

Look I dont even want the movie or have any desire to watch it but can we all agree that recording it during the premiere to put it up online is a shitty thing to do

[mejomonster]

Ridiculously depressed but I am running ragged (which is surely worsening the depression ToT) so like the idea of weekly therapy to further exhaust me and trigger the anxiety more doesn't sound super compatible

[earl-grey-love]

I decided to romance Cullen. I was gonna go for Blackwall, but I cannot stand that "I don't deserve you" narrative. I understand why he acts like that but it doesn't make it any less off putting. Personal preference really.

Plus, I think Shila deserves a nice boy who sees her for who she is. No drama, just smooching the pretty commander.

[skitskatdacat63]

My friend wants to hang out and i want to hang out but also just have absolutely no will to leave my house and not a lot of social capacity atm and UGhhhhh idk how to express that, like yes I want to see you and yes I like to see you but I dont think I have the capacity to be a fun person lately

[llitchilitchi]

to preface this, this is not hate i just kept rambling bc i do feel strongly abt the matter, apologies and feel free to disregard if you'd rather not have discourse on your blog. kick was literally (co) founded by people who felt that twitch's policies and their enforcement against hate speech, slurs, etc (which aren't that great to begin with) were too restrictive. adin ross is a co-owner, or at least he has claimed as much and not been challenged by kick itself. that platform has a userbase that absolutely would harass the kind of people in sapnap's audience, so being in his chat or watching list really just puts a target on them/us. and kick's moderation tools are infamously poor. like yes, twitch needs to be toppled from its monopoly but not at the cost of giving a larger piece of the proverbial pie to kick of all places. twitch's leadership is interested in profit at the expense of their employees and users both, and they have no interest in protecting or empowering marginalized creators or users. it's shit, but it's ultimately a matter of them not caring, while kick's leadership is actively hostile to marginalized people, and that is going to make a difference in what changes can be made at all. (and about amazon, kick still uses amazon servers and webservices for the actual streaming portion of their platform, so... ) finally, while i absolutely agree that the way twitch treats its streamers, including things like the revenue split, is horrid, quite a bit of sapnap's stated reasoning about things like twitch not offering him a contract (beyond regular partner i guess) or the ceo not knowing him, are kind of... not unreasonable when you look at how much he has actually USED twitch. he's had the sapnap account for years and only streamed three hundred odd hours, even if you add the alt streams it's... not that much. and most of all, it's never really been consistent. he may stream every day for like a week but then its months of nothing outside like, mcc. only going live for special events isn't going to net one a big contract, and there is only so far the fame of being one of the OG dsmp members will get you. i like sapnap, but i think if he truly believes kick's ceos making vague non-specific promises of "making the site better" he is being naive, because what they're looking for it most definitely just another "famous" name (big mcyt internet phenomenon or whatever) and title (nrg co-owner) they can use to advertise their site and legitimize it. going by his paste bin, they played at his ego, and because he felt slighted by twitch (not entirely unfairly given how twitch sucks in supporting and even just appreciating or fairly paying their creators), he took it. trying to migrate his fanbase over to a platform headed and controlled by people who actively hate the people making up most of that fanbase is, frankly, ludicrous. but kick doesn't need his viewers, they need his name, so why would they care? like yes, generally even founders can be replaced eventually, but in this case, these owners also own the crypto gambling bank thing that funds all of kick, so you can't really force them out unless or until the platform can carry itself - and the multiple other attempts at making twitch competitors kind proved that that is hard to achieve. they control the money, they control the platform, and if they want the platform to be a space where they and those like them can be as hateful and bigoted as they want, that's what it's going to be.

these are all very valid points, and I hope my response to this won't come off as a massive BUT in defense of kick

that platform sucks. that much is obvious, and if Ross is really the co-owner that's just all the more reason to feel unsafe to be there. I don't know nearly enough about all their policies and given everything that has been said about them I never really had much interest in looking into them further. it's just another site that is full of toxic hypermasc culture

I won't go and defend Sapnap's decision to move there, either, but I think there is a lot he is not telling us (be it because he is unsure or because of contracts) that made him feel that a move like this is worth it. he isn't stupid, he knows his fanbase is massive and consists of many marginalized groups, so if he thought that kick is better than twitch even with a massively queer and poc fanbase, he must have had his reasons. I doubt he didn't talk this through with Dream, George, his managers etc.

I also don't want to entirely y'know defend twitch with their policies. cause their policies regarding hate speech are absolutely shit. remember when they banned the word "simp"? because people didn't like it? but did absolutely nothing about all the sexual harrassment going on? yeah. I also want to add that my automod that twitch provides is sometimes more than unreliable and censored a regular for saying "long gay cat" in chat. loosening the restrictions will definitely cause damage to those who deserve to be protected the most, but the restrictions did little to protect them to begin with, in my experience.

from what I remember of early twitch it was pretty loose like kick is now. big names coming in might result in tightening policies, even if that comes off as wishful thinking. all platforms ended up doing so, sooner or later.

what I do find a little ridiculous is how people insist that the majority of the userbase of kick are the type to harass Sapnap's fans which, while true, should not matter as much as we make it out to be? I genuinely doubt that they will all immediately flock to Sapnap's channel and spam slurs in chat and be in such overwhelming numbers it will be unbearable. and if it was, and became a regular issue, Sapnap would definitely do something about it. unless the majority of their userbase is likely to open streams of chill people and then target every person in chat

I dunno, it's much ado about nothing so far, we only got an announcement and it's hard to judge how things will play out after the move. it's fair that streamers, especially with as big a following as Sapnap, want better deals out of twitch. I don't know about them but the affiliate deals are not that great and very far from fair. moving to kick might not be the best thing but honestly, what other choice is there other than maybe YouTube?

we're all panicking ahead of time as this fandom has a tendency to, so idk. let's all take a deep breath and see how things play out before jumping into conclusion. it's certainly gonna be a lot less bad than people insist, and worst case scenario I'm sure the vods will be reuploaded to YT by some good samaritan.

[kirtini]

Prozac time

[technicalthinker]

hmmm feeling the spiraling coming, after one day of having to think actively about career stuff I feel insecure about

luckily the bestie is coming to visit tomorrow and it's time to comfort-watch some shows

[obitv]

balancing my insatiable need for attention and human connection with the fact im fucking insane and saying things that make sense to a broader audience is near fucking impossible is so hard. cant people love me for my girlblogger swag. dont you know im transgender. huh. share my posts boy

[justtogetthrough]

Work has been insanely busy and I'm not functioning well but I have tomorrow night, Friday night, and half of Saturday to pack up as much of my house as I can because on Sunday my best friend is bringing their friend to help me move the furniture I need to sell to the main floor from upstairs and downstairs, rearrange my study, and they're gonna take back a carload of boxes to put in my apartment for me.

I just... need to get my shit together enough to have things ready for them being here.

It doesn't feel like a lot of time but my friend is so busy all the time and starting a new job on Monday so I'm just relieved and grateful they are still willing to help me and even recruited another person to assist bc I physically can't move furniture.

I don't know why they love me like they do but it's the best thing I have going for me these days.

[hobisexually]

x

[some-random-fandom-chick]

.