#idk I could talk about this for hours tbh
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"Why can't you say it back?" Madison Beer
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warnings: might be some grammar errors. idk what else tbh.
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For as long as you could remember, all your relationships ended the same way. You never could say 'I love you' back. It was as if the words got stuck in your throat. You choked. Usually, everything came out like word vomit, but not those. Those words were like a path a vulnerability you were not ready to take. And it wasn't your fault, you don't think. You never received an 'i love you' as a kid. So you never experienced love. It was like it never existed in your world.
Madison made you feel things you never thought you could. She did everything you never got to receive as a kid. She gave you hugs, which you thought you hated. You told yourself you hated physical touch, but when Madison touched you, a sense of warmth filled your body. You'd never admit it though. The thought of enjoying someone else's touch was horrifying. Her words were so sweet. They felt so scripted. All the compliments she gave you, you never believed them. When she told you you were pretty, you couldn't bring yourself to accept it. You could never bring yourself to tell her. You didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Unfortunately, you did. She got frustrated when you wouldn't open up to her. She went on and on about how communication was the key to good relationships. You didn't say a single word. You physically couldn't. The words were stuck in your throat. All you could do was nod. Not that that was any different from what you do. Communication wasn't something you were good at. You were trying, at least you thought you were. It's not that you couldn't trust her, you were scared too. You never opened up about your feelings. Mostly because you never knew exactly what you were feeling. Just the thought of talking to someone about your feelings freaked you out. More than you could admit. It was one thing speaking about it, but to speak about it without crying was difficult.
The first time Madison said anything remotely close to 'i love you', you froze. She had offered you the world, and you couldn't do the same. She couldn't understand why you were so hesitant. It had been 2 years, why couldn't you say it back? Thankfully, she understood. Even if it took a few words out of you, she was patient. She waited. Always.
That's what you liked about her. She always waited. Even if you never thought you would be ready, she stayed. One of her best qualities. One of her bad qualities, however, was asking questions. Too many questions. She overthought, a lot. Wondered if you even liked her. You did. Wondered if you even loved her. Did you?
That was something you never asked yourself. Did you actually love Madison? And if you did, why couldn't you say it back?
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There you were, laying on her bed. You didn't deserve this. Madison was the best girlfriend you could ever ask for. She was so sweet. You wanted nothing but happiness for her and you felt you weren't giving her that. For gods sake, you couldn't even say 'i love you' back.
Madison sat in her gamer chair, playing her favorite game- Dress to Impress. She looked so happy just with her game. You wanted to speak to her so bad, but you felt that you would be a bother. Like always. So you sat in silence.
Eventually, she broke it.
"Hey, baby?"
"Hm?" Your gaze moved up to meet her hazel eyes. Those eyes. She smiled.
"Do you want to do anything else? I know I've just been playing for hours and hours. You just been sitting in silence and I know you like that but-" She rambled. She tended to do that a lot. It didn't bother you. You never liked speaking. "Anyway, do you want to like- watch a movie or something?"
You thought for a moment. A movie, in Madison's words meant- cuddles, snacks, blankets and of course, a movie. In your mind it meant- fattening snacks you'd never be able to forgive yourself for eating, blankets that just makes you sweaty, a movie you'll never even pay attention to, and cuddles which meant touching.
"I don't know." You mumbled. She hated when you mumbled. But you never knew how to stop. It was a habit of yours. And you were working on it, you think.
Madison gave you a cold glare. "You can't just say 'I don't know'. You know you want to do something."
She was right. You did want to do something. But you'd never tell her.
"I know you want to do something. What is it?" She stared into your eyes. Those eyes. You sat and stared. "You can't just sit and stare." She came closer to you. "Look, I love you. But these habits of yours are really starting to frustrate me-"
Before she could continue, you did what you always did. "Sorry."
Madison shook her head. "No, don't apologize. I just wish you could talk to me. I love you." You froze. "I know you hate that but it's been 4 years. Why can't you say it back?"
"I-" You attempted. No words came out. Your breathing sped up. Your heart beating faster. Why couldn't you say it back? You knew you did.
"Don't you love me back?" She whispered. Her gaze was soft and vulnerable. The exact look that you feared. You stared.
Why couldn't you say it back? You know you do. Yes Madison, I love you. It wasn't difficult. But it was.
"I love you. Why can't you say it back?"
Yes. i love you. i love you. i love you. Why can't you say it back?
"I-"
i love you. i love you. i love you.
"I hate you."
no idiot. i love you. i love you.
"What?" You watched as she stood up.
No no no no. Tell her. Tell her. i love you.
"I like you."
i love you. Why can't you say it back?
"What?" She sat back down. That's a start.
i love you.
"I love...you?"
yes. i love you.
Madison gasped. "Did you just-"
"I love you." You whispered. You felt yourself, for once in a while, smile. The biggest smile formed on Madison's lips.
"I love you."
i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. You said it back.
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A/N: its not that good but i felt like i needed to just write something along these lines. commitment issues is a really big thing a lot of people struggle with. i, for one struggle with the complete opposite but im starting to feel the side of fear of commitment.
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Why hasnt Taylor said ANYTHING
I really don’t know :/ I’ve seen theories that she’s tied up legally or doesn’t want to risk Ticketmaster retaliating but I think it would mean a lot to the fans if she said anything at all..no acknowledgment when so many people are heartbroken feels shitty
#personally it’s just disappointing to me how disconnected she’s become from the fans#like interactions were more genuine once upon a time and now it seems so controlled#but based on miss Americana I think she had to take a step back for her mental health#idk I could talk about this for hours tbh#the nuances of parasocial relationships lol#thanks anon angel
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Anyway shout out to Dewey who constantly looked like he was having the worst time of his fucking life in the pitches
Just an 11 year old pissed off at the world it seems😭
#insane he ended up being so happy go lucky in canon#like in the art book they talk about the character shift dewey had once ben auditioned#and he made them realize they could take a more comedic approach with him#but initially dewey’s character seemed very negative and irritable#they had the label ‘the bad boy’ of the 3 on him for a bit too#bc of the massive chip on his shoulder and how unsatisfied he was at the time#and tbh you can see bits of that in the pilot#dewey’s character and overall demeanor is very different in the first two eps of s1#i LOVE my boy as the bright impulsive ball of sunshine and danger that he is#but this original pitch of him intrigues me a lot#like i can talk about pitch!dewey for hours bc#kinda feels like wasted potential idk LMAO#bc he didn’t entirely disappear at least in s1 so#just a lot of dewey thoughts#bc that’s my boy🫶#ducktales#ducktales 2017#dewey duck
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Guys, I can't right now. I LOVE dinosaurs SO MUCH, and I LOVE the Jurassic Park/World franchise. I can't wait for season 2 of Chaos Theory, I can't wait for the 4th Jurassic World movie, I'm currently reading the book Jurassic Park, I'm over joyed. I'm so JOYOUS :3
I WANNA TALK ABOUT MY STUPID DINOSAUR OBSESSION SO BAD
(JW The Game stuff under cut)
Anyways, look at these guys in my Jurassic World game X3
They're some of my favorite lookin dinos (especially Concavenator). My dream dino in the game is Bumpy from Camp Cretaceous/Chaos Theory :D
Also these damn hatching times ugh
Charlie (the raptor in the middle) and Gryposuchus (the one on the right) take 7 DAYS to hatch. The other one is at least 2 days, but still >:[
#dbdbbfbf dinosaurs#dinosaur#dinosaurs#jurassic park#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#chaos theory#camp cretaceous#jurassic world the game#i could talk about Jurassic park/world for hours#i should rewatch all the movies some time#tbh JW dominion wasnt my favorite in the franchies but thats okay#im still very excited to see what the 4th film brings to the table :3#growing up with the movies has to be my favorite thing to happen#what i mean by “growning up with them” i mean being hooked on them at a young age#im probably gonna post a LOT of rambles about the Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory series#maybe make a youtube analysis if i wanna??#idk but i wanna talk about the stupid dinosaur franchise :]#i have so much to talk about god O_O#apologetically rambling#🦕#🦖#🦖🦕#🦕🦖#expect more dino posting lol
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Ah, I'm just thinking about last weekend (NYE getaway to a cottage in the woods) and how much I love that my friends are just as dumb as I am and can't stop making "that's what she said" jokes like,
(Everyone getting into a tiny car with all the bags and groceries)
Me: "Wow, I'm surprised you managed to stuff it all in."
Friend 1: "That's what she said."
*everyone sniggering*
(Driving into the village where our cottage is)
Friend 1: "Oh, it really is woodsy here, nice! I love wood."
Friend 2: "That's what she said."
more very mature sniggering
(Entering the cottage for the first time)
Friend 2: "Oh wow, it's a lot bigger than I expected."
Me: "That's what she said!"
*high fives all around*
And so on and so forth. We are all women in our mid thirties, by the way. Like attracts like (wouldn't have it any other way) <3
#the entire weekend had a high michael scott vibe#we ate mostly cheese and drank leftover champagne from my french friend's sister's wedding#we did a radio countdown and at about fifteen seconds to midnight my speaker ran out of battery and died on us#and after midnight we danced and sang along to destiny's child and the spice girls and elvis for several hours#i was wearing a onesie and a tiny party hat#friend 1 hurt her back because she got a little too enthusiastic on the dancefloor and she's not 21 anymore#friend 2 called her boyfriend and put him on speaker so we could serenade him with 'bootylicious'#actually idk if it was more michael scott or bridget jones tbh#good times#minnie talks
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i keep browsing riptide fanart and people keep mentioning the chip and jay height difference and who would be taller
and in my mind theres only 3 headcannons i can come up with that make sense to me
1. mable and dipper pines situation where one always swears theyre taller but its always up for debate.
2. chip's magical bandana that makes him handsome also makes him like a couple inches taller than everyone (he is the shortest out of the albatrio in this option)
3. chip is shorter than jay but he wears heeled boots and SWEARS its cause they match with his outfit or cause theyre better to sneak in or theyre comfy (he only wears them cause it makes him taller than jay)
#jrwi#just roll with it fanart#just roll with it riptide#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#jrwi jay#jay ferin#idk why it brings me so much joy to make chip the shortest in the albatrio#cause like jay has tall people genes#and gillions height is in a constant state of flux#so chip has to be the shortest#and tbh i lean heavy on the bandana one just cause i could talk for hours about that bandana#cause the fact that its cannon thay chip uses the bandana passively all the time#to make himself a little bit more handsome#makes me insane cause it prompts me to ask how much of chip is even REAL at this point#with that bandana on all the time#but thats besides the point#i also love short king chip with big heels cause its so fucking funny#he would do that asshole thing like#hows the weather down there!#to jay#and she would start loading her pistol every single time to make him stfu#just roll with it
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im going to have to rewatch pacific rim again and take my own notes on the timeline because the timeline given on the wiki makes NO SENSE. supposedly the double event was jan. 8 and pitfall was jan. 12, but newt was in the bone slums from before otachi's attack right up until his drift with hermann, which was DURING pitfall. you cannot tell me that was four days.
#im just sitting here looking at that like. sorry what#NO SENSE!!!!#even if you say the double event was just before midnight and pitfall was just after midnight so theyre only TECHNICALLY on the 8th and 12t#that's still a full 72 hours#i have a feeling the dates given in the movie dont make a ton of sense either tbh#but they cant be THAT bad#it contradicts the dialogue!!!! newt is like 'i haven't exactly had a very good day' when he's talking to hermann#it also contradicts hermann's predictive model i think?#before the double event (idk how long it's probably a few days) he says 'in 4 days we could be seeing a kaiju every 8 hours'#i think it makes way more sense for it to be around 8 hours between the double and triple events lol#but. yeah. need to take notes#unscientific aside#one date i AM taking as canon from the wiki is knifehead being on feb 29 though#because that is soooo narratively juicy#the whole thing about pilots being celebrities & ''we got really good at it. winning.''#raleigh taking it for granted they're going to win. ''5th notch on the belt''
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and what if he's a combination of them huh
#is gestalt the word im looking for? idk it's 3am#oh uhh#dgm spoilers#for the ensuing tag ramble#anyway. officially caught up on dgm now so guess i have Thoughts#every theory abt what exactly happened to allen (river guy who actually met nea) and lavi (silver hair) is fun in different ways#and tbh i could buy most of them#but if they both went into the apocryphos soup together they maybe came out the other side together as allen (exorcist)#well. as orphan nameless circus kid who then became allen (exorcist)#nea talked about how allen (exorcist) seems entirely different from allen (river) in pretty much every way#and diagnosed him with 'innocence monster got you' lol which. apparently so!#this feels like pulling another brick out of the allen walker identity issues jenga tower though#the hair thing too- i honestly didn't think to put much stock in that until it caught lucia's attention but!#lavi (silver) and allen (river) now allen (exorcist) current thought#who knows if I'll still think that in twelve hours though. we'll see#tada. dgm tag
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack!
Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new.
Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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the abandoned ship theme from pokemon ruby/sapphire/emerald is such a special theme to me... something about it just exudes nostalgia. i love it so very dearly
#when i was a little kid playing emerald for the first time#i have a really vivid memory of running around the place trying to find all its secrets for hours#i dont think i ever found all of them. lol#im a kid born in the age of the internet... i couldve looked it up at any time. i probably had the old family ipad like 10 feet from me tbh#but i didnt want to! i wanted to find all of it myself#something about the place just felt so alive to me.#a mystery for little baby bri to solve about the things that have been buried by time#i think the oras remasters of the song (both for sea mauville and southern island) are very nice. but.#i just dont think they could ever recapture that feeling the original evokes in me#you know that faithful remaster project for mother 3? where they try to remake the soundtrack using the most updated versions#of the same soundfont?#i would love one of those for rse... oras is nice but it just. idk something about the pure orchestra makes it lose something for me#bri talks
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The number one thing that sucks about me making aus is that they are so intrinsically linked with the playlists I make for them, like,,,, I really feel like ur not getting the whole experience if ur not also listening to the playlist for all the stuff I don't know how to draw in a way that makes sense/dose it justice
#trash rambles#yes im realizing that this is silly for sonic aus but yall..... i put a little bit too much of myself in every story i write regardless if#the characters are from my own imagination#like i dont think yall understand just how much i wish people would ask me about specific songs in my playlists#not even just the au ones tbh#im just saying you dont make a 30 hour playlist for your favorite character without songs that dont make sense to other people#yes im talking about how ptolemaea is on the mephiles playlist and how i could ramble about why for hours#and im also talking about the ghost au playlist bc its like 90% vibes and ghost love songs and then 10% lore songs and tbh all the lore#songs sound really blatant and obvious to me but im biased bc i came up with the lore lol#im just SAYIGN#i wish i was better at telling stories#idk#part of the reason i havent updated/worked on knights honor in over a year is bc even though i have this and the next few chapters thought#out i have no actual idea where the story is going and i dont know how ill end it if i do#bleh ok ill stop rambling now
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Ohhh please please please? Pretty please? Tell me won't you? Pray tell. What your favorite radioactive material.
Hmmmmmm
Cherenkov radiation is really pretty (it's so blue, like imagine the bluest blue and it's somehow bluer than that blue) So probably anything that can emit that particular blue.
Thanks for the ask :D
#all i could think of when i saw this ask was that one post of the miku ramen that's the same blue as Cherenkov radiation#so obviously that's my fav#tbh idk that much about radiation#im more of a biology person#sadly no one wants to see my hour long video essay about why I love dendritic cells so much#they are the coolest cell imo#squid talks actually
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not to expound upon the political implications of fandom every chance i get but noel gruber is revolutionary gay representation because he wants to be fucked up and evil and it is so disheartening to see transformative works where they act like his wants and personality are character flaws. roadblocks in the way of the most conventional and milquetoast gay romance story ever put to word document. which isn’t terrible but the fact of the matter is noel gruber exists to say not every gay person wants to be normal or wants to have a normal easy heteroimitative life. marlene dietrich was a bisexual woman who endured mountains of hardship on every level and did important things and made important art. jean genet was a writer and activist who lived on the fringes of society doing survival sex work for most of his youth. liberace was never *out* out and was torn apart relentlessly by tabloids about his life. these are the people he canonically admires, he wants to be a starving artist and live a fantastic, queer, risky life that offends and challenges the mainstream. not because he is too naive to want a normal quiet life, but because he was raised in the bosom of the most banal, sterile, conservative small town existence he could have possibly been in and knows for a fact he wants the complete opposite. queer assimilation to the heteronormative standards of life has been a powerful tool in our survival, yes, but the point of that is to survive to make a world where that isn’t necessary anymore. the ease straight white cis abled society offers is one that exists at the expense of those who do not fit it. that is why the girl is fucked up. in a perfect world she shouldn’t have to be any other way.
#idk I just started reading a massively hyped transformative work in the fandom and jfc#it doesn’t hurt anybody and I know why it’s there#but dear lord#the amount of times they go out of their way to either implicitly or explicitly#punish or contort the aspects of Noel that make him fucked up#it’s just interesting#esp because they also make him trans which is why I’m reserving judgement#obviously they’ve done some of the work bc they’re not being weird about his gender expression#but OOOF you’re so close come on come on you can do it#also my other favorite character is constance and I can talk about black joy and radical acceptance with her for hours#but understanding what is oppressive about small conservative hegemony is crucial to understanding noel#and tbh thats his flaw to overcome by the end of the show imo#going from take me up and away above this small town cliche#to befriending mischa and sharing Constance’s joy during sugar cloud#realizing he did challenge people and was tragic and counter culture in his own way#in his own silly little small town#that’s the mountain he scales#to stop reducing his own accomplishments#but that has nothing to do with changing the fact that he doesn’t want to be like everyone else#and would have taken his queer rebellion further if he could have#ride the cyclone
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it has been a while since i have advertised any of my favorite games and so hello ... !! i implore you to play final fantasy xiv (fourteen) it is my favorite game and it is so good for so many reasons i love it so much (unlimited free trial btw)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i could go on forever about this game and idk if that's even an exaggeration at this point bcs i've talked for hours about it#tbh i think any kind of gamer could play it (though ofc there's people who won't like it and that's fine bcs we're all different!)#but yeah it IS an mmorpg but there are really a lot of people who have this as their first mmorpg or the ONLY mmo they like#the story is incredibly good and ofc that too is. up to You but in general i do believe and a lot of others do as well that yeah#idk man :') this game has brought me an extreme amount of joy and is honestly . man. i owe so much to it#and i'm really not afraid to say that! either out of embarrassment or shame or whatever bcs i am affirmed by the many others who feel the#same that i'm not alone in feeling this way >_< idk. i think those around me and esp my loved ones and friends#deserve the experience the same joy ffxiv has given me ... even if not to the same extent ofc WHEEZE ffxiv just personally means#so much to me it consumes my mind and i love it so very much ehbgsbjhg BUT YEAH. yeah#i've felt a bit guilty or embarrassed to like ... express how much things mean to me bcs hmmhmmhm maybe i'm Too Much#but i think xiv has really helped me affirm myself and the fact that yeah! i'm just really passionate and enthusiastic about what i love#and uh. ehbghabgbhb i still don't share my thoughts except for to myself and to my twin and online just a bit but#man idk what i'm talking anymore about but i'm really grateful to ffxiv and i'm glad a lot of others are too ... ><#which is interesting bcs a lot of the playerbase is older than me :O hells yoshi-p is around the age of my dad and a streamer i watch is too#GBSHJBG ... and i have played with people much older than me as well! but it's. strangely nice?#i don't necessarily have to be wary about my safety bcs in general you wouldn't find that with the playerbase unless you do#specific things/go to specific places :O a lot are just people looking to have fun and/or relax after a long day. which is nice#hmm i'm just rambling a lot now again but yeah ... i think its really beautiful how we each have something that we love a lot#and for me one of those stuff is def ffxiv. and i . think it's understandable/valid for me to wish for those i care for to experience what#i have too :O hmm w all this ngl i see that i still need to better accept my feelings and all GHSBHG i'll try my best ><#okay rambles over GAH I SHOULD EAT DINNER. maybe finish 1 hw as well b4 the day ends ehe#tbh most of my rambles ^^ are for ffxiv w the RPG part bcs tbh it is true when people say it is like an rpg + mmo aspects lol#but i really appreciate the mmo aspect >< it's strangely helped me w my social anxiety rather than worsen it!#it's helped me make new friends and great experiences and considering w/o the mmo aspect i'd probably be still#drowning in my misery from back then :O if it were not for ffxiv i sincerely doubt i would have talked again to my irl best friends so <3#okay i will stop rambling now. tbh i don't think ... hm ... nvm. but anyway! no pressure ofc but yes i suggest u play ffxiv teehee#but if you really can't due to Reasons that is ofc fine as well! i don't want to seem like i'm forcin people wah ...#it is just a thing for ffxiv players to like advertising for ffxiv and i so happen to really like doing that lol ehbsjgh ><#uh i forgot what else i wanted to say but my throat is gabgjebgjhs so bye bye
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aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#ngl ive been feeling like a bit sad like... i just miss them sm hfdjks#i just wish so SO soso so badly that i could go home to them both back in the 80s#to be w the loves of my life but ALSO to have someone i can talk music to and we can just talk abt music for hours <33#i can just talk abt it to them and theyll completely understand and give their own thoughts abt whatever song/band/album im talking abt#and id love to hear them go on long insane rants abt their own favorite albums and for them to show me a new album they listened to#something theyd know i like cause we love the same music genres#fuck i just miss them so much... they understand me more than anyone and get along w me more than ANYONE#i couldnt even try to imagine a person who better suites me than them even if i tried to create the perfect person for me#they just ARE already the epitome of perfection for me like we were made to know and love eachother to get along so well to be inseparable#i love them... god i love them both so much just thinking about them always makes me cry#i almost never cry its only ever because of them that i cry...#i miss them so so fucking much i keep thinking about them throughout the day#just imagining me being w them to be able to kiss and hold them and show them just how much i love them both#actually today i was picturing them here w me which is something i never do#i just love and miss them... i feel lonely and just ah... idk i wish i could go off on an adventure w them rn#i want to escape the life im living rn and just run off on the road w them chasing after our dream of being rockstars#tbh id also just love to experience the train together and get to see all that crazy stuff yknow? would make good song writing material lol#idk i feel like i cant truly get into how much i truly love and miss them w/o sounding super depressed and pathetic tbh#so i keep holding myself back from really expressing how i feel abt them
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we're playing Nyssa's campaign on new year's eve and her DM messaged us that we're picking up where we left off-- which was waiting to meet up with a new PC, whose player has since moved out of state-- and that we've got a couple days with no objective and 'think about what you'll want to do, the time is yours :)'
we've only just got into this campaign so our characters barely know each other yet and we have no real overarching goals or dangling plot threads or personal projects we could really be working on during in-town downtime, so like.......... I mean I can think of one thing my very touch starved satyr would love to spend the next two days doing, if that's what we want this entire session to be about,,
#the good news about playing nyssa in this campaign is that jill is my one(1) DM I feel comfortable being like 'nyssa wants to fuck' jkhfdgd#the bad news is that her husband is not someone I would want to talk about fuckin at any length or in any detail in front of lmao#anyway this was the sincere answer I found when trying to think of what she could even possibly want to be doing with this downtime#this is really frustrating :') I mean idk what else she might have in store for the session but as of right now it's just#'well what do YOU want to do :)' I have nothing to work with yet!! I want an objective!!! :'D#and stephen is not an extremely enthusiastic roleplayer so like--#yes tbh I could VERY easily and VERY happily spend five hours sitting around just roleplaying with jill and justin and doing nothing else#except that I want stephen also to have fun aahhh#about me#irl frens#my OCs#nyssa
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