#idk i sound and feel like an asshole but like... he's SO dependant on me it drives me insane and all i want is to be in my house that i pay

[punk-in-metal-detector]

is it too much to ask for a decent fucking piercer

One is insanely expensive forgetting he operates in a small town ig and the other one is a masive dick like come one

[pandanscafanfiction]

.

[team7-headquarter]

Medical nin Sasuke is a top tier AU for sure

Anon, I hope you don't mind me adding some of my headcanons / thoughts because YES IT IS:

I'm begging to watch Sasuke reanimating someone with a controlled electric pulse.

We all know about the sharingan abilities to easily memorize and catch even the littlest of details, right? It'd be perfect for a medic nin who has to identify all types of wounds in the middle of chaotic battlefields. The efficiency would be around 90%.

Sasuke has amazing chakra control too and it deserves to be talked about more.

It is perfectly plausible that in some other universe where Sasuke wasn't as heavily manipulated as the canon verse, he'd seek to reform the system from within by pushing forward the medical agenda in a world full of mindless violence. I bet he wouldn't feel half as powerless if he could save lives with his medical ninjutsu.

Sasuke can become a medic nin out to rebel against the people trying to control him. He could go "I wish I was powerful enough to stop Itachi before he went too far AND knew how to heal my parents before they died".

He could have become interested in medical ninjutsu during his fight with Haku. Faking death? Going for the vital points with brutal efficiency? All awesome stuff.

Sasuke is so similar to Tsunade. Both left the village because they were disappointed and hurting. They lost their brothers, saw the people most important to them get killed, felt betrayed by someone they trusted— and how interesting I'd be to parallel Orochimaru and Itachi search for power, when both of them later help Konoha survive.

He's fight with Itachi would have gone a lot differently. Itachi is sick and wants to die and is manipulating Sasuke further, but what if Sasuke refused to allow it to happen and managed to save him? I love the trope where characters live to pay for their own mistakes instead of "dying to redeem themselves". The character development is worth it all!

He's very observant, more than Naruto or Sakura. He thinks critically, works under pressure, is not afraid of blood or doing what must be done...

He's a field medic through and through. If he wanted to bring back the honor of the Uchiha clan, becoming a medic sounds like a good idea. Do I need to remind everyone that one of the worst nightmares of Naruto was the asshole of Kabuto? And how he was such a pain in the neck because he was a medic nin?

KABUTO AS SASUKE'S MEDIC NIN SENSEI.

Way to turn around and spit into the Uchiha curse of hatred too. The Sharingan is a gift of love— of love and grief. It's a tool to be used so you won't lose anyone like that again, so you can protect your loved ones. It'd shut up Black Zetsu and his Uchiha manipulation.

POISON EXPERT SASUKE? I NEED IT.

Honestly I think it would have been great to create a plotline where Kakashi is too busy seeing himself in Sasuke, it hits him like a truck the moment he becomes aware that he is more than Rin in so many ways.

Sasuke turning to be more like Mikoto than like Itachi or Fugaku!!!!!!

I have so many ideas for this au. Giving Sasuke the power to heal doesn't change who he is at his core, but it influences who he becomes. I'm not saying he won't be bitter or angry— Tsunade and Chiyo were two of the best medic nins around and they were drowning in vices.

It depends on who his mentor could be and he won't be a worse fighter, but!!! Idk, there is a different type of strength in healing...

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Wowowow Miles is waking during the day??? Call me suspicious.

AAAAAAAHHHHH did he just fucking bloodbond Wynn???

Noooooo. I mean also I get it but this is such a fucking Miles solution?!? What the hell. 😂😂

But also why are his fingers in her mouth??? That just seems so unnecessary.

'Oh no I'm Miles, I know what's best even though it's often a bad decision, but I will take responsibility and will not confer with anyone else because this is my burden to bear, and also I just know better than all of them.'

Goddamnit Miles don't talk about fucking territory, reach down in your feelings and show Wynn that you care for her!!!

Also I still don't understand why this would help??? I was informed that this is what he wanted to do the night before and he wants to try to get her to 3 before Lucint.

Oh noooo Ventrue are arrogant? You don't say...

Yes Wynn tell him!!!! Make this fucker see.

Miles..... This is so not about you, it's about Wynn rn.

MILES people you associate with???? Even now you can't say you fucking care about her??? Goddamn you piece of shit. 😂

Of course he ignores you lmao, Miles can't be told he's wrong! That's crazy. Smh.

I mean.... At least he asked if she wants another? But is that really fairbif she's bloodbonded. Yeah like Wynn says she doesn't want it to be a choice because having to say yes to something you do not want at all is horrible.

Ooooooooffffffff y'all idk how I feel about this. I have a lot a lot of emotions. I just keep flashing back to when Britta was level 2 bloodbonded with fucking Rowlands and how obsessed she was with him and what he thought of her.

This has all been very upsetting and I have a lot of complicated thoughts and feelings about all of this.

😭 Wynn subconsciously walking past places where she thinks Miles is. Don't you see how fucked up this is!?!

Goddamn Wynn. I am so glad they're having all these talks, I just wish the reason wasn't so shit.

I can't. I know I am not saying anything about Wynn and Johnny's conversation about their kids, but I can't. I'm just sitting here, listening, crying.

Johnny calling Wynn family. 😭

Oh. My. God. She woke up in his fucking arms???? Pendragon why don't you tell Britta again that she can't have any power over you. You are WHIPPED.

What??? How did she lose all that blood?

Sore and aching from last night???? What the hell??? Is this a sex thing or a vampire thing? Or both? It sounds like someone took blood from her right?

Lmaoo now she also try to roll to not eat from him??? Isn't their relationship already complicated enough without her feeding and also bloodbonding???

Lex saying he is having her roll with difficulty 9 due to the circumstances, like he wasn't directly responsible for those circumstances! 😂

"Then feed" My mouth fucking dropped!!! They already bonded the night before. He wants her to bond more to himmmmm what a fucking creepy asshole Jesus!!! Did this man just try to trick her into going to lvl 2 bloodbond by making sure she wakes up at 0 blood????

Also don't you fucking so what Britta you sob you know what she is getting at!

WHAT IS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING BLOODBONDS BTW???. I NOT FUCKING READY FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Don't you give that dismissive very well then! Sir!!! You should be on the naughty step for that! You're a bad boy!!!!!

God Johnny we need you and your kindness. 😭 Britta going to Johnny because she can trust him to help her not hurt anyone. THAT'S WHAT BRITTA NEEDS!!! someone nice, dependable, kind, with her best interest at heart! Not some fucking egocentric, selfish, uncaring, manipulative, toxic, horrible, teringhond of a man who would try to manipulate her into a bloodbond and then let her wander the halls alone when he knows thst she'd be scared and upset!

Johnny and Neil taking care of Britta. 😭 This is the content we need.

I'm sorry, he won't even give her the time to feed???? I swear!!!!

I love how much this coterie cares for each other and takes care of each other.

It's delightful to see the justicar and Pendragon squabbling over the coterie.

I think there is a chance that Wynn might be more than the justicar bargained for.

What does the thermos do???? Omg she is bloodbound through the thermos? I thought the whole thing was that you needed to feed directly from the source.

[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

leon kennedy with autism headcanons

warnings: mentions of some triggers (crowds, lights, etc) but everything else is good! :3

we pretend the events of re2 never happened and that he actually got to officially join the force with his prettyboy face

or i could be normal and just say pre-outbreak lol

and we’re also gonna pretend that everyone on the force is either unaware that he’s autistic and aren’t assholes to him

i saw someone post some clips from the games and it’s literally just “leon kennedy autism compilation” and considering i finished my first re2 leon run yesterday, you already know i have to contribute

BTW THIS IS ALL JUST MY OPNION feel free to correct me or share your own headcanons in my chat box or in the comments :3 

i don’t think he would get an official diagnosis? just doesn’t have the time to think about it or doesn’t really consider anything that he does is weird, no one points it out either because they’re like “that’s just leon! XD”

in more fun news, i don’t really think he stims, at least not super noticeably this is kind of a lie actually idk

like he stims but he doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it but for reasons that he can’t begin to understand, he has a spot in one of the cabinets of his desk where he just keeps stress balls or things like that

the specific scenario where he just feels too crowded somewhere or he can hear the sounds of the fluorescent lights and it agitates him to no end

if he has any vocal stims, he snaps his fingers (does that count??) or clicks his tongue but its not repetitive either

projecting here but i think he likes to blast music really loudly in his car or in earbuds depending on where he is

he’s so cute, in his car, he blasts rock music and stuff and drums his fingers against the steering wheel before he starts driving, he gets super into it

at the station, when he has to write up his reports, he’ll blast music on his earphones loud enough that he doesn’t hear anyone or any background noise

it’s to a point that people have to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention

he’s a pencil twirler, when he’s anxious, really focused, or even just talking to people, he does it almost on instinct

he also bounces his leg a lot, all the time and if he’s not doing that, he reverts to the pencil lol

but when he gets into that routine of bouncing his leg, twirling his pencil, and listening to music, people will ask what he’s doing and some other officer will joke that “he’s in the zone”

he is pretty much phenomenal at masking on good days but on days where he gets overwhelmed or too frustrated, he works out until he drops from how tired he is

of course he has a special interest, it’s something like pokemon and/or star wars

he like video games A LOT, he has entire collections under his tv set or his bed and they’re mostly fighter games; mortal kombat, street fighter, etc (looks at my shelf full of k-pop albums and sighs in defeat)

when he’s not home, only someone who REALLY knows him would see the look in his eyes of him getting excited when he hears someone talking about his special interests or sees something in a store that catches his attention

at home, he completely lets loose, takes whole weekends to just indulge and if he’s with someone, he can spend hours talking about the stuff he likes but he’ll give the occasional “sorry, i kind of geeked out? ^^;”

like he physically lights up but he’ll get all flustered unless someone tells him that he’s alright (WHICH YOU WILL SAY YES TO. LET HIM RAMBLE.)

he hates crowds, he isn’t an introvert or anything and doesn’t actively avoid crowds but if he gets caught in one, he is just in the WORST mood and he needs to go home and recharge

he does go nonverbal sometimes but not a lot of people pick up on it just cus it’s just normal for people on the force to have off days and maybe he doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong so they just let him be until he reaches out

me and my one of my best friends (welcome to another post where you featured damien) were talking and established that his skin is strangely flawless so at the end of a long day (when he’s alone) he puts on a face mask and just enjoys how cool it feels on his face

some people ask him if he has a skincare routine and he’s just like “no? why do you ask? :D” but he just doesn’t realize that he has one until he counts just how much stuff he puts on his face

he loves touch!! but only from people he really trusts so strangers he can shake hands with and stuff, friends is a lot more than that but s/o’s is who he’s closest with

he likes to feel them laying on him and the pressure and just :333 likes to feel as close as possible and will squeeze you

not autism related news but things about his health that my friend and i made up but that we think is funny is that he’s lactose intolerant and allergic to cat fur but he’s too kind to say anything

the rare chance that he has to rescue a cat, he gives the cat back but is sneezing like crazy

and if someone offers him food he can’t eat or he’ll die, he just runs to take lactaid really fast and comes back like nothing happened so he always has allergy and lactaid on him no matter what

                               （<｀▽´）―━━☆⌒*. BAM ITS OVER 

YEEHAWW I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THAT :3 this is my first time publishing about something as sensitive (? ig) as this so pls let me know if i inadvertently used any problematic language or anything like that and i will be more than happy to edit! :D

i’ve been super enjoying the franchise even though im kinda sorta only playing bc of leon rn lol but i am going on summer break soon (with one college class X_X) and am gonna have all the time in the world to discover all the other games

but for now thank y’all so much for reading and i hope that you stay safe, stay kind, and have a good day/night/afternoon wherever you are! :3 (to anyone working on finals, good luck and don’t forget to take a break!!)

[maddy-ferguson]

controversial take apparently for the byler tag, but it sounds like people dont want mike and will to have another fight because they subconsciously know it will once again portray mike as an asshole so they're vouching for a 'tame' byler narrative as if the whole painting lie doesn't depend on it being revealed and it contributing to a fight between them both as it's been foreshadowed. like idk but this is our narrative since s3.

and it's crazy because mike would literally have a right to be upset like he was made to confess to a girl he didn't want to confess to!!! will always has reasons to get mad at mike (no shade) but this time he's actually given mike a very good reason to be mad and it's like you said do i think the painting is gonna be the catalyst for them getting together yes do i think it's gonna be the catalyst for them fighting again yes! when has their relationship ever evolved with no fighting. they'll fight they'll make up it's fine.

about the mike needs to be seen as nice thing: yes i agree and i think it also applies to el not reacting negatively or just having no reaction at all to her own breakup with mike and to finding out that he's gay because people often envision it as a breakup/coming out scene. i understand that people don't want el feeling bad and resenting mike and will forever because then everyone in the audience would hate byler and it would also be nonsensical for them to not be on good terms by the end of the show but the exact opposite is maybe just as unsatisfactory to me. they want el to be mike's ex-girlfriend best friend mother sister and therapist and to tell him it's okay to be gay when she's...his 14-year-old ex-girlfriend whose perception of the world was built around their relationship. why would you expect her to be coach him through their breakup when she's the character who's the worst at regulating her own emotions? how is she gonna help him? how is it fair to expect that of her? as much as people like to go on and on about mike abhorring lies, he's not the one whose whole thing is friends don't lie, that's el. now obviously she lied to him in s4 the season of all lies but i just don't see her being the bigger person and not having feelings about her own boyfriend having lied to her about loving her no matter how checked out of the relationship you think she might be. she's 14! she's half of the relationship! expecting her to tell him it's okay to be gay is so strange when she doesn't even know why he would've had to hide it. she was crying about him not loving her less than a week ago!

[navree]

What do you think about Joseph Stalin and communism in general?

*idk if you answer political questions so feel free to ignore this question if u don't want to answer it*

(politics is both my literal field of study and my desired work environment so this ask itself isn't shocking it's just that most of the questions i get tend to be either fandom analysis or people wanting to know more about my personal life so seeing a notification that started with "what do you think about joseph stalin" took me tf out. and i also want to be clear that i am not an expert on either stalin or the soviet union in general, russian history was never my thing and in general the history of the 20th century that I have looked at is france/Western Europe in ww2 for family reasons and america in the 1960s/70s, it's one of the perks of reading Helter Skelter the same year you meet Ethel Kennedy)

Stalin was a monster. I have a general rule of thumb that I think people who orchestrate genocide are assholes, and that extends to Stalin as well. I don't have a very fond view of the Soviet Union in any capacity due to the giant clusterfuck of awful that it was and all the horrors it wrought on its corner of the world, which is always going to color Stalin negatively in my view, but Stalin himself holds a distinction of also being a uniquely bad person. He was functionally a dictator who killed hundreds of thousands of people for the sake of consolidating his own power and nothing else. He was a totalitarian despot who orchestrated several atrocities and is responsible for some truly egregious crimes against humanity in the 20th century and as much as I can hate a personal unknown on merits alone, I hate him. And also, might just be me, the non-aggression pact with the fucking Nazis is a nonstarter (and if someone gets on me with some bullshit "but America!" take then you don't know me at all because I have continuously taken this country to task with my abhorrence of how it handled itself with the Nazis there's a reason why I refuse to acknowledge D-Day as worth any importance).

As for my thoughts on communism, it's complicated. Most importantly, please understand this: economic systems are not my forté in any way. My capabilities lie in public policy, in public outreach/overall campaigning, and speechwriting and all other statement/press release things. My knowledge and my insight into the capitalism vs. communism debate is very mundane and pedestrian, which is why I don't really comment on it; I don't think I have a new perspective to offer. Communism, as a base concept, is a decent theory, but you can't just look at these things as solely concepts. And when I look at how communism has been applied in various governments over the years in various different forms, I see an incredibly flawed system that has continuously failed to achieve any long term good. This isn't to say that I find capitalism is a perfect system either, it is also deeply flawed, and as its applied by most modern countries probably needs some severe overhauls. But communism just overall seems to be something that sounds like a good idea but needs incredibly significant fine tuning in order to be functional and not descend into totalitarianism. The idea of "the government controls the means of production" is good in theory, but it also depends on who is in government. If the government has bad people in it, whatever your definition of that is, then you're handing an extraordinary amount of power to people who might have bad intentions and use it to hurt others. Again, this is a very simple opinion on a very complex topic, but that's what the opinion is, at least for me. There is also the fact that, quite simply, I'm a young American living in America, and my exposure of communism is a bunch of people who call themselves communists and think that means they can act like fucking lunatics and generally have batshit opinions that provide a stunning illumination into horseshoe theory, which isn't going to predispose me to feeling positively about communism either. Overall, communism just personally isn't my jam; I can see why it's something people are drawn to due to the flaws in the capitalist system, I really do, but I tend to look at self-described communists askance and I think the system has some deep rooted issues that have yet to be addressed by either governments that want to use it as a whole or even individuals who promote it as a possible alternative to the current system we have now.

And I do answer political questions! Like I've said, I have worked and plan to continue to work in politics, and I have a lot of political opinions about stuff both past and present, and as long as people are respectful in general there's really not a whole lot I just flat out won't answer if someone wants me to talk about it, so long as they're nice. <3

[fairyfandommother]

'Young Royals' Season 2: An unhinged and unhelpful guide (it's a reaction, let's be real) to the First Four Minutes (Part 2).

Scene 3, continued: Wilhelm, now wearing what we can assume is Erik's coat, wraps his arms around himself and sniffs the material. He pulls a pocketbook from the front breast pocket with the letter E on it and reveals a lighter with the words "once a brother, always a brother" engraved within.

THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON HERE!!!

The picture/painting of Erik over Wilhelm's shoulder as if the late Crown Prince were there in spirit. Looking on in case Wille needed something. "I got your back. bro."

Wille sniffing the jacket did things to me. I could have gone my WHOLE life without that. I feel so sad for him.

And then Wille finds the pocketbook?? This could mean so many things!! My brain went haywire when I saw it!! Either it was something Erik bought for himself to represent Wilhelm (which aww), it was a gift from Wilhelm (or another member of the family) to him again to represent Wilhelm (less aww but still aww), orrrrr it was a gift from the members of that secret society that August, The Asshole, and his lot have.

Oooooh, the drama and implications. I'm living for it.

If it is that last thing and I'm not just spiraling, I'm sure the fact that Erik held August in such high standards is a sour thought for Wille in this moment.

Scene 3, continued: Prince Wilhelm removes the lighter from its case.

REMEMBER HOW I TOLD Y'ALL TO KEEP THE BEHIND SHOT OF WILLE IN ERIK'S ILL FITTING JACKET?! Well, it's the same jacket but the ill fit is less obvious here. Almost like Wille is accepting his role after seeing the "once a brother always a brother" thing, and if my suspicions are correct and it has something to do with August, the jacket not looking as big could mean Wille is accepting that he has to wear this costume but it doesn't mean he'll read the same script as everyone else.

Scene 3, continued: Wilhelm tours his brother's room. Hand grazing a ceramic statue of a green frog wearing a crown, and several photo's of the princes as children that Erik has stuck in the frame of his mirror.

This is quite possibly the only bit of personality that is in this room and shows who Erik was.

The Frog Prince is such a... weird story idk. The story goes that a handsome prince was once cursed by a wicked fairy to inhabit the body of a frog until he could get someone to let him eat from their plate and sleep in their bed for three nights. He meets a spoiled princess who reluctantly agrees to let him do so with her should he do her a favour (retrieve a toy from a pond). Depending on when the version you're reading was written, the curse is either lifted by the Princess throwing the Prince against a wall or her giving him a kiss.

It should be noted, however, that in some iterations, the Prince has a loyal servant named Henry/Harry who has iron bands fixed around his heart to prevent it from breaking when the Prince gets cursed and when the Prince is freed the bands break because he is so happy...

Idk that sounds pretty gay, why does Erik have that?

ANYWAY! Erik sticking pictures of him and Wilhelm in his mirror got me choked up again this is so sad we had him for like five minutes what mess is this??

Scene 3, continued: Prince Wilhelm pulls a photograph of Prince Erik and August Horn, The Asshole of Arnas, from Erik's mirror and puts it to the flame.

Of course, because they were bros™, Erik also has a photo of him and August. Of course.

Wille using Erik's own lighter to burn that shit is giving me the sustenance I need to carry on in this scam called life. How dare he stand next to Erik.

Notice the framing of this shot replaces August's burnt head with Wilhelm's. Ooh, they've done so many fun things with the visuals. I love this show.

Also, Burning photographs is so final! August will never recover I fear.

Scene 4: August Horn, The Asshole of Arnas, exercising and eating alone at Hillerska Skolan.

Oh, he's losing it...

First of all. Fuck him.

Interesting, though, that it seems like August stayed at Hillerska over break, or perhaps he's just... very early... things are still rockey at home mayhaps?

It also seems like we'll be seeing more of August's apparent obsession with fitness. Many have speculated that this could be the early stages or even the throughs of an ed. Time will tell.

Scene 4, continued: August and Wilhelm have a text exchange wherein August begs Wilhelm for forgiveness but Wilhelm makes it clear that his mission is to make August's life a living hell.

Look at the weasel pouting in the last frame... are you finally realising that there are consequences to your actions? Aww... boohoo...

Look, I know he's a kid and he's got problems of his own but like... I kind of don't care? He's a shitty kid and if he suffers for the things that he did, tough luck? LMFAOOOO. I love hating him. He's an insufferable prick and that's okay in fiction.

Also very telling of his character that he's not apologising because he's genuinely sorry but because he needs to be forgiven in order to absolve himself of guilt for what he did.

It's not "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'll make it up to you however I can" it's "I'll do anything if you just forgive me".

If someone is aplogising to you simply because they need your forgiveness to not feel guilty, please run away. Apologies only work if the person apologising is truly remorseful for whatever it is they did. Expecting forgiveness after practically destroying some ones life is a major red flag.

Scene 5: Sara Eriksson (Frida Argento) and new character Markus (Tommy Wättring) come back to the Eriksson home. They are greeted by Linda Eriksson (Carmen Gloria Pérez) and while Markus excuses himself to the bathroom, Linda informs Sara that she has received a letter. After opening the letter, Sara joyfully exclaims that she "got accepted".

First of all. Fuck her.

I don't care what y'all say. What Sara did was No Contact worthy.

Markus being in the Eriksson home???? 👀👀👀👀

He's going to the bathroom???? 👀👀👀👀

The bathroom that's right next to Simon's room??? 👀👀👀👀👀

I'm a Wilmon girl to the very core of my femur but Simon deserves a love that doesn't also come with complications and heartache. Especially if it's platonic love, since his mum is really the only person solely in his corner.

Speaking oooofffff, LINDA SWEETIE I LOVE YOU! DID YOU HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS??? I HOPE YOU GOT LOTS OF PRESENTS OMG.

Ugh, do I have to talk about her? *heavy negro spiritual sigh*

Sara getting an acceptance letter could mean that August actually pulled through and got her room and board at Hillerska, or it could have absolutely nothing to do with him. This will be an interesting dynamic to see moving forward. And I really don't see that letter being about anything else.

That being said, Linda's excitement and warmth toward Sara probably means that she has no idea what Sara did and the mother-daughter affection could change verrrry soon.

It'd be nice to see a contrast in the way August is begging for forgiveness and whatever Sara will do whenever shit hits the fan (BECAUSE IT WILL HIT THE FAN!!) because despite what she's done, I think Sara does genuinely love her family and seeing how hurt Simon is likely going to be over what she's done will likely also have her groveling but... authentically.

Of course this is me working on the assumption that Sara will care at all. She's supposed to be weighing the benefits of old and new allegiances this season so... she could also just... not give a fuck. Simon probably won't be boarding so it'll make that decision easier for her...

So, that was it! That was the First Four. (does the title card look a lil... different to y'all???)

I'm sad we didn't see Simon (in real time) or Felice but I know their introductions to the season will be great. Them and Linda and Wille and Madison are the only bitches I trust in this house!

I'm so excited for Season 2, you guys!!!

I feel like I've been typing for agggeeeeesss... is it November yet? 👀

[bisluthq]

wait you guys why is it bad to have a personal relationship with your partner's parents? me and my bf have been going out for some time and i get along great with his dad.

//////////

- I wrote that other anon about putting distance between anon and bfs mom because it sounded (from limited info shared) like anon was sharing about her relationship with her bf, not just having a good relationship with her. That to me is a big red flag because depending on your culture, it absolutely can be helpful to discuss relationship stuff with your in laws, but I think that’s more something to do as a couple, or like if you think your partner is depressed or something and don’t know what to do, going to their parents (assuming they have a good relationship) can be good to be like ‘hey I think somethings up, is this normal for them? I’ve never seen it before. Have you noticed a difference or am I reading things wrong?’ Or something.

But I think it’s verrrrry risky to invite an in law so close into the relationship of the couple. Having a good or separate relationship is awesome! Just don’t make them a third in yours?

I’m the Patrick ‘bonus baby with a big age gap’ in my family lol so when my sister dated her now husband I was a young teenager still and it was great because we both liked football but no one else in my family did, so once they’d been together a while and we were all comfortable, he would take me to games (my first ever!) and as a couple they’d take me with them to concerts and festivals with them. They still did heaps on their own too. But they were the cool older couple to me who could take me to cool things, and i had a great relationship with my BIL, he was like an uncle figure - sort of fatherly protective of me, but more fun lol. But we didn’t talk about his relationship with my sister. Like he’d tell me about things they did recently, he asked my opinion on things he wanted to buy her for Xmas, but most conversation was about our individual lives and the things we were interested in that no one else likes lol.

My sister is in a book club with his mom, but they talk about the book, life, similar interests and not the private details of their relationship.

My sister tells me private details of their relationship lol but she’s my sister and I’m always gonna be on her side unless she’s a total asshole lol. So at least personally, I’d feel like my privacy was invaded if a partner was texting my mom about a fight we had and feel like they valued her feelings more than mine, or they were more concerned with how my mom saw them than they cared about our actual relationship.

*again, idk anon or those other people, maybe they’re all cool with it! But that’s just my 2 cents.

Happy for people who have a good relationship with their in-laws or ex in-laws or whatever - it’s nice to pick up people you connect with and keep them 🩷🩵

yea

[nathank77]

4/19/24

4:56 p.m Edited/Added to 5:05 p.m

I just woke up. I had a very hard time falling asleep again. I closed my eyes at 7:06 a.m, opened them at 7:42. Took a second 25mg Hydroxyzine. Took my first 25mg Benadryl. Closed my eyes until 8:12 still wasn't asleep... ate a think bar and then closed my eyes again.

I must have fallen asleep in 20 minutes or so after that. I've been getting weird tactile hallucinations that are associated with my mental pictures like before with psychosis... and sounds that are associated with my mental pictures at least I think for that one... cause it's like I hear a ting and imagine a can... it could be From my show... with the mental picture right after the sound.

The tactiles are like I grab a can or something and my hand feels like it moves to grab it or it actually moves..... or i can feel the can......I've had a lot of those recently.. I'm wondering if it's real xanax but based on other nights with the same bottle I fell asleep fast despite getting these.

The other day I was in the shower and I was kinda freaked out bc of my ocd and I closed my eyes and had a mental image of the shower and my arm almost touching the wall so like rather than it being visual when I was smoking pot it prob was all mental images...

Anyways I accidently started posting on dopaminergicaddictions again.. I reblogged everything here. But I accidently deleted one of my posts an important one. I'm mad cause I can't re-write it. It's just gone. I wish there was a recent garbage can...

Anyways I'm about to go see my mom but my uncle died today and my dad wanted me to call him.. so I called him.

He was like a stone wall. He expects me to go the funeral. I said I'd only go out of respect for him. I said i have 3 reasons I don't want to go:

1) time i need to sleep- he said the wake would be at like 330 or 4... but not the funeral so he expects me to go to the wake..

2) clothes I have no nice clothes. He said I have money I need to buy something nice. I DONT HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY SOMETHING TO SEE THAT SHIT BAG. HE NEVER ACCEPTED ME. THE CLOTHES YOU NEED ARE EXPENSIVE. DRESS PANTS, A BUTTON UP.

I said I don't really have the money and he was like well you're on disability and I said yes but only ssi and I only get a little over 900$ a month I'm not on ssdi like you. I mentioned the disability appts and them saying he isn't on it. He didn't make a comment. So idk. I didnt push past that..

But I don't have the money to buy something nice to wear to Mark's wake.

3) then I said well psychosis is more than hearing a voice. I get mental pictures and I don't want to see a dead person. Cause of that. I said it would depend on the person but ingeneral atm It's not healthy for me to see a dead body.

- he was like well they may cremate him and if they don't you don't have to go up and see him.

He said something like I know you don't respect him and maybe me and I jumped in and said I do respect you dad you're the only reason I'd go! And he brought up that I didn't see my grandmother or my aunt the two times they came down..

He is like a stone wall he fully expects me to go. I don't have anything to wear i don't want to be around people crying. It's not healthy for me.....and mark isn't worth it! He didn't mean anything to me!

I didn't bring up reason 4: mark never accepts me. He talkes massive shit about me to my face and to my mother and sister and everyone. I was a freakshow to mark.

I might as well have been in the freakshow at a circus to him. He didn't respect my gender at all.

I don't care for Melissa- his daughter she posted this thing on fb about not knowing if women are really women nowadays and having to look for an Adam's apple....made a joke about it.

I don't care for Bryan his son- he constantly talks to me like mark did, man up if you want to be a man so badly. Etc. He outed me to my sisters ex boyfriend during the move. He is an asshole.

Marks wife eddy... I do like but I mean I'm sure she's on board with all the transphobia..... I mean she just didn't say it. Beyond that Mark raped her multiple times. He was a hot head who would break your jaw for saying the wrong thing.

Oh yea he was a drug dealer too...

I mean I truly hated mark and I would not regret not going. Cause to me he didn't exist. He wasn't my family. He used to be my favorite uncle and then I transitioned and he lost all respect for me and I snipped him the fuck out.

He died to me when I started my transition.

So idk what to do cause the whole respect for my father thing should have been enough... like i respect you but XYZ and they are good reasons... and you know he said your uncle may not have respected you but you got to be there for the family..

No I really don't... you never talked to mark. You thought he was shit too... and despite some of my family accepting me the primary people who this affected- eddy, Bryan and Melissa mean nothing to me. And I mean absolutely nothing.

So idk what to do. I'm stressed about seeing my mother. I'm stressed cause if I don't go to marks wake then I've disrespected my father.

I'm stressed cause I lost an important post bc I accidently started posting on dopaminergicaddictions again and I deleted one where I got a lot of feelings out.

I'm stressed that I didn't sleep well.. I woke up at 3:30..

I'm stressed that I'm having the wierd tactile hallucinations with my mental images.

I don't want to buy clothes and go to see mark. He didn't respect me. I was a girl to him.

He wasn't my fucking family. And everytime I try to imagine glasses I see him partially dead already very unclear but his face and part of his glasses ... cause he wore them... so I mean yea I prob shouldn't go..

This isn't about getting off this is just psychosis being a cunt and already fucking with the mental pictures. If I see him there I will see the mental picture of him for months.

[hard-core-super-star]

oh, now you're speaking for me, miss rubix? 🤨 you were right, we're on the same page and 🧞 shouldn't feel offended, they should feel honored, badass and cool, all these things. I'm not going to comment on you being called out. I'm laughing silently.

gwjaksjsk how was the class? with that statement should I expect more unexpected things then? YEAH andrew's version really is... I don't know who's luckier, him or gwen because- god. do it like this: transform yourself into him and then make a clone, that way you can be him AND with him, and if you don't want to keep it, you can give the clone to me. also, no, I lied. I'm not miles coded because I'm actually... I'm him and he's me, we're the same person.

bribe you? me??? nope, never. depends on your price. noooo, please tell me, no one is watching. I need to know.

I'm not considering it anymore, now what? I- I still am... 😔 OKAY knowing that you don't want a part 2 of alpha!kate didn't make me happy or anything like that, after all, I didn't like this fic at all. and it's not like I already said that it became one of my fav fics. since you wouldn't want to hear my thoughts on this, I'm not going to say that the multiple fics in one thing is an really good idea. see Kate rescuing R and how little by little their relationship became such a strong bond- and what it was like for R to see that that not every alpha is an asshole, and that they can be loved and having their feelings and thoughts validated wouldn't be a nice thing to see. definitely out of question.

no, don't test me please, I would come off like an idiot hdhdikwak damn, so you already do this so often that it comes out naturally? 😭

I'm still amazed at so much of the language you chose to learn. I find this thing of listening out loud confusing and cool at the same time, there are so many words that are written and have the same pronunciation, but in reality they have a meaning that has nothing to do with the other. but don't be afraid, portuguese is not a big deal and won't pull your leg at night lmao, having it as a goal is already a step forward. well, whether you projecting or not, it really suits her sooooo. the way she attaches to clint is so genuine, you can see that she admires him as a superhero and the person who inspired her to follow this path, but it goes so much further than that. she's genuinely happy when he says they're working together 🫠 “she doesn't really have anyone else” damn, I just got another free punch. they literally won't admit it, but since you brought this up, I wouldn't mind you talking about kate and yelena's relationship. touch starved kate is so real that's sad lmao.

– 🌟

dghjksddsgj shut up, i was right, wasn't i? that's clearly what matters here. excuse me, you definitely need to comment on this since you're part of it too, that anon clearly called you out as well.

honestly, it was kind of boring. i totally didn't spend the majority of it replying to your messages or anything. [and before you say anything, it's called multitasking] you should always expect the unexpected, especially when it comes to my writing. after all, much madness is divinest sense, right? exactly, they're both way too attractive and their chemistry is insane. lmao, that's not a horrible idea. does it count as narcissism, though? the multiverse is a crazy thing so yeah, i believe that.

idk, it sounds like you're two sentences away from actually bribing me so👀 you already know my price, i accept stars and compliments it's funny that you're saying this after someone came into my inbox to call me out which clearly means there are people watching. nice try but nope. i'm sure you can figure it out on your own, it's clearly been obvious to all our outside observers.

you're such a bad liar. you didn't have to admit it for me to know that, btw. i'm so glad to hear you very clearly don't care about alpha!kate or the possibility of a part 2 because i'm obviously not seriously considering writing it. since you didn't give me your opinion on an idea i didn't already have, i won't tell you that's exactly what i thinking of doing, just a complete exploration of feelings and the softest version ever of kate. i agree that it's definitely out of the question and i'm not thinking about outlining it and sharing some more thoughts with you about it. not at all. i also won't ask if it should include smut since you clearly don't want a part 2.

you've been doing great without even trying so i don't think you have anything to worry about. yeah, kind of. i usually do it in my head since no one ever know what i'm talking about. you're kind of the exception to that, though which means i probably won't stop. [something something because i could not stop...for Death]

learning english when i was young definitely gave me an impulse to try to learn more languages because if english is weird af and i managed to learn it, what's to stop me from learning more? i also had a lot of free time during the pandemic so i sat down and forced myself to actually try to learn french. [i ironically went to paris without speaking french lmao] i'm always so much better at reading words and understanding them than hearing them spoken out loud. i think portuguese will be the next language i tackle after i get fully comfortable with italian. listen, it's all fun and games until i have to start pronouncing things lmao. i always just default to spanish pronunciations because that's how my brain works. [i also don't want to sound like a gringa, that's embarrassing af] i'm glad you think so. and yeah, i think her attachment to him runs so much deeper than just,"oh, i saw him fighting aliens when i was younger." she doesn't merely idolize him and i think the show tries to touch on it but they always revert back to making kate act like a goof, which again, does fit her personality but only sometimes. sdjgjjgh sorry, it hurts to admit it but kate hides a lot of pain under that cute little smile. i honestly love thinking about what their next meeting would be like. like, would yelena just randomly break into her apartment again and be like "where are the drinks you promised me last time???" i think she would, tbh and i get quite a kick from that idea, especially ‘cause i think kate would turn into an absolute mess lmao.

[evandorepart2]

longgggg fucking vent post under the cut. idk if it even counts as vent i am simply relaying information about the situation and i am unsure how i should feel right now

oh my fucking GOD my brother is such an asshole like. ok so whats happened over the past couple days is that

i hit a depressive period. it is Obvious -> since im depressed i dont have energy to eat or cook much and ive been struggling with making sure to eat Before this -> we have recently got groceries and there are muffins. before this i was literally eating a slice of bread so i would at the very least not pass out or vomit so obviously when we have that im going to switch to Depending on that -> this is something i do a lot, unconciously, to eat. i have a single 'meal' and stick with it until its run out. whether or not it has lots of steps.

what happened after this is

my brother gets pissed cause i ate all the muffins and he calls me a bitch and some other stuff idr cause i deleted the messages -> i am hanging by a thread and being confronted abt an insecurity on multiple levels makes me very upset -> i attempt to deflect these feelings by joking about it so that i can convince myself that im not upset -> he responds negatively and calls me annoying + brings up the fact that hes the only one whos been cleaning downstiars and subtly implying that im lazy and never do any work. a fact he Has said to my face despite this being proven Not True many times. and none of the Mess hes been cleaning up is mine since i have not been using the kitchen / using dishes / had items isolated to a single small table -> i get more upset and decide to be honest and write a short, frank note [bc this is all over text bc he never talks to me face to face] saying that i am depressed. its difficult to eat and i wasnt even Thinking of him [as he is someone who regularly gets on everyone else for eating junk sweet food so i dont think he wnats that stuff] and i apologize for being a dick and thank him for cleaning up.

after this he does not respond which means that there is nothing else he wants to say on the matter. that was a few days ago and i do not talk / go near him. ive phsyically seen him Three times since this exchange. and they lasted a few seconds since i quickly Left The Area.

today was the first time hes messaged me since then to tell me to do the dishes. i Was going to - was debating not to but then it got into my head as a Task I Need To Finish before i could continue what i was doing - but when i went downstairs he was on the couch and this scared me so i went back upstairs and was promising to do it tomorrow.

Until i had another breakdown and completely reorganized all my projects so i wouldnt have an unproductive spiral. and then i just finished so i thought Now i will do the dishes so i can get back into doing my Other Tasks. that is if they werent done - the thing with the dishes is that he said he was going to cook. which is how it usually goes. so its not like he just told me to clean LOL

but during this time i had headphones on which are sound proof and as i was going outside i took them off and realized the tv was on which means hes downstairs. and also i could smell meat cooking, meaning he was making dinner. its at this point i was like. whoops i didnt do the dishes that sucks but also. i Have told him i was in the middle of a depressive period. i havent been eating and i havent been leaving my room at all. even my father picked up on this. its easy to assume that he understands that hey! maybe youll tell me to do something and i just dont do it. for gods sake i didnt even answer the text bc i didnt want to say id do it and then not do it.

so i went to shower instead and felt really sick standing up since obviously i havent eaten and it feels like my stomach is caving in and i can smell food cooking which just makes it significantly worse.

which is whatever. i leave. i think about whether or not my pride will let me go downstairs when he tells me hes made dinner. NOTE: my father is gone today - hes partying with his work friends as a going away thing. so it is just us.

except! he hasnt texted me at all! in fact! its been half an hour since i know he cooked and nothing has been said to me. which leaves the options. he made something else and i can just fend for myself. he made the original meal [which was burgers and takes a while to do cause he does it from scratch] and was pissed that i didnt do the dishes so he didnt make me any. or hes still cooking and has yet to text me [doubtful]

which. i dont know which is worse! and i am unsure if i am allowed to be upset by this!

because on one hand yea. i was supposed to do the dishes and i couldnt even bring myself to do that.

but on the other hand. man im fucking depressed. it took two days of convincing to get me to brush my teeth again. i am getting physically ill from lack of food and ive been having casual thoughts of suicide again. and its not like he doesnt know. like ive told him. ive left out my diagnosis papers so he could see them - which he told me hes read ! im not 'suffering in silence' or whatever. im just FUCK i dont know. i hate this stupid family.

its like everyone looks at me and goes. yea you have problems. but the second i start i dont fucking know having problems everyone gets soooo mad at me and tells me how awful and lazy and how im literally never going to ammount to anything or do anything < real words that my brother had said ! he went off very long on how pathetic i am to my father and only 'apologized' like a day later when he was high which was barely even an apology he just said sorry and then hung up.

its like every time i try to get better and then everyone around me just. fucking i dont even know man. my mom hates me. my brother hates me. my father hates everything i like and everything i stand for and completely refuses to ever listen to me actually talk. im awful person to everyone around me and all my friends and im not getting out of this hell hole. nothing is going to change when i get to iowa. im just gonna be the same shitty person in an even shittier country with people and family that i hate

[brokenbones-singsongs]

Things that bother me that I don’t bother speaking about

1. Nothing fits me anymore. None of my clothes. Certainly none of my dresses. Nothing. I’ve gained so much weight since December that the $200 dresses I bought for my brothers wedding etc. this year don’t fit and the wedding is next week. I feel disgusting. I don’t take pictures anymore. I rarely ever wear anything but sweatshirts and yoga pants and I can’t buy anything from my favorite store literally ever anymore.

2. Because of the above, it’s taking everything I have in me not to fall back into my 15 year old selfs habit of just ✨not eating✨ but still working out and running miles every other day just to feel like I was skinny enough for it to be acceptable. I think about it every day and quite honestly it’s very hard for me to eat more than one meal without hating myself. Groceries are too expensive to manage an actual diet and be healthy. I have no extra income. It’s hard and frustrating and unhealthy and I’m exhausted and I HATE myself.

3. I spend every single one of my days wondering how my best friend of six years could just leave and not tell me why.

4. I also spend every single day thinking about how I ruined another girls life both entirely on accident and on purpose because even after I found out the truth of things I still pursued. I’m literally the asshole I swore I would never ever be.

5. I wonder all the time if I’m going to wake up one day and be told by my husband that he hates the way I show love and always has and he doesn’t know why he married me (because it happened before) and I don’t think I’ll survive another heartbreak like that

6. I want to do something constructive with my time like a regular yoga class or a gym membership somewhere structured and take care of myself and whatever but I can’t because I am a mom and it’s expensive. I’m lowkey resentful of my fiancé for having jiu jitsu even if he gets paid to do part of it. He gets to fuck off for several hours every week and do what he loves and I just…don’t. Ever. I’m always at work or always a mom and even when I go out with friends etc. I’m still a mom. I have to take the baby everywhere and I’m tired and I just want to exist outside of being depended on literally every second of the day. There is no reprieve.

7. I don’t like one of our dogs.

8. I’m not even sure I want to have any pets ever again after the ones we do have are gone. They’re like kids and some days it takes everything in me to get out of bed and pay attention to them.

9. I quit my job partly for money but mostly because I have a debilitating fear of failure and the moment I started getting micromanaged over missing the expiration on some fruit despite spending an entire day going above and beyond to be as perfect as perfect can be…something shifted and I spent days wanting to throw up over the stress of fucking up again. I can’t do it. I’m also beyond sick of the “social media content” I’m supposed to create EVERY. FCKING. DAY. Work isn’t they interesting and put menu rarely changes. I can’t take 900 pictures of the same damn thing. 3-5 images a day is asinine and I hate myself so why would I post videos of myself doing anything? Look like a gd land 🐋

10. I want to tell a lot of people to stfu up and I literally don’t care when they tell me their problems. Like literally 99.9% of people. I’m so tired of negativity and always having to try to figure out how to respond without sounding disingenuous.

11. I didn’t think I was depressed but nothing is bringing me Joy or has in a long time. I’m simply existing and dealing in a neutral state and idk if that’s testament to the coping skills I learned year ago or if I’m just in a weird kind of autopilot. But the more time goes on the more I start to realize I might actually need professional help.

12. I’ve started stuttering and having a harder time getting words out in the last year or so and I wonder if something is amiss. They thought I had a stroke when I was pregnant that was really just a horrible migraine…but what if something is really off?

13. I think I fucked up by not getting my tachycardia meds refilled thinking it was only exacerbated by pregnancy and I’d be fine because I’ve almost passed out several times lately. The cause could also be I’ve gained my baby weight back. It’s stupid and I’m worried. I like that it still beats and I’m alive.

That’s all for now.

[catnerdenby]

I don't like Christmas. But I do love how it brings people together. I love seeing the joy of unwrapping a present in my cousin's eyes. It makes. me happy hearing my brothers shriek in joy when they get a new present.

But it all ends so quickly. One second they're beaming with delight, the other screaming with anger.

I don't like Christmas because of people. But I also like Christmas because of people.

My country celebrates Christmas on the 24th, and normally the Santa actually visits kids. We even have an official union of Santas.

In my family, we get together, and depending on the year, we either eat the Christmas dinner (cooked potatoes, ham, blood sausage, cabbage salad, meat pudding (idk what it's called), bacon, apple cake/ cheesecake) first or the Santa comes first and EVERYONE has to read a poem, or sing a song to get a present. Except pets and toddlers. They can do a trick.

After that we unwrap the presents, and get a bit of time to play. Then we take a big family picture.

Sometimes my family stays overnight (as do my uncle's and aunt's. families) or we stop torturing everybody and go home after.

It all sounds jolly and good, but in reality everyone is stressed, someone's piece of a gift goes missing, my brother finds the remote and blasts Minecraft videos full volume, someone is in the phone, when they're supposed to socialise with the family instead, etc.

Sometimes my uncle has a new gf so they bring her children, as well as my eldest cousin. He's pretty fine but they can be assholes with my oldest younger brother towards my middle younger brother. Which creates a lot of noise and my mom gets a lot more stressed.

There's also the entire religious stuff, which none of us actually believe (atheism is largely dominant here), but creates a load of unpleasant contradictions. The initial 'idea' of Christmas is absolutely forgotten at some point and we just wait for an old man to deliver 2-3 bags of presents, which make us happy for 2 days and are then forgotten.

I don't even know what irks me off so much about Christmas. I'm atheist myself but for some reason the religious aspect of Christmas being absolutely forgotten pisses me off.

Here, Santa Claus (Saint Nicolaus if you will. Fuck I hate saying Santa, like it's a name), is actually called Yule-old in translation. Jõuluvana. And I just feel like...some shit got mixed up in cultures??

And can we talk about the line "He watches when you're sleeping" WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?!?!?! IT RUINED MY FUCKING CHILDHOOD. I literally can't not think of Santa as a pedophile now.

I'm sorry, being wished a "Merry Christmas!" just really makes me lose my shit, because if I had the option to, I personally wouldn't celebrate it, but be home, read a book by the fire, and drink hot chocolate. The spruce and candles can stay.

ALSO- Christmas concerts. Christmas songs. That stuff makes me irrationally angry. I want to enjoy a "Merry Winter!" I want to jump in the snow with my family and friends together. I actually don't even want any presents. I want genuine joy. I want to enjoy the time with my family not with presents and hot air, but a snow war and 3 meter high snow man.

Thank you and goodbye.

[itrin]

TUA S3 (spoilers) 

first of all, holy shit????? like holy shit!!! this was by-far the most incredible season, in terms of acting, cgi, characterisation, sound and music, cinematography -- just intense and overwhelming and gripping and I ate it up in less than a day but anyways here are some of my specific thoughts, haphazardly listed and unsolicited:

viktor coming out and how it was handled was A++ like everyone was normal and chill and so readily accepting with some appropriate humour thrown in but also everyone still gave him shit regardless LMAO

like five "proud of u Viktor, ur an idiot though"

Five "pull this shit again and viktor, ill kill u myself" Hargreeves everybody, supportive but threatening

idk how to feel abt five telling viktor he's there for him but also telling him he'll kill him like??? asshole but I love him regardless, no-- because of it

on that note, never deadnaming viktor even in the heat of a brutal argument isn't something to be praised like it is -- it was a relief that no one deadnamed him even though they were furious and hurt ngl but also this is how its supposed to be!! bare minimum!! u dont deadname trans people even if, especially if, ur pissed at them

tua did an outstanding job handling viktor coming out, A+ for that, could not have asked for better

Luther wanting to give viktor mini sandwiches and throw him a brotherhood party!!! good!!

also that flashback of Allison telling viktor she'd love him no matter what juxtaposed with Allison telling viktor they should've left him in the basement: yikes

AND OMFG ALLISON!!! S3 ALLISON HARGREEVES!! ive genuinely never been more sacred for or of a fictional character like her actress, Emmy, was absolutely phenomenal

characters who're "good" and calm and always say/advocate for the "right" thing and are depended on to be, like, the glue of a group -- these characters falling apart in catastrophic ways will always be a fav of mine because thats Allison Hargreaves man she fell apart catastrophically and her hurt came at the expense of everyone

idc what anyone says I love how Allison was characterised this season I love how she was pushed to her breaking point and fucking broke: she lost her daughter in season 1 because she kept rumouring her rather than parenting her, and she didn't rumour in season 2 until she did and she went mad with power (not that I disagree with who that power was used against, yes queen make the racists burn themselves), and in season 3 she really, really fell into the depths of her power and self-destruction. she used it against viktor (good parallel to that season 1 confrontation in the cabin), used her power against Harlan to kill him, used it on herself

the Luther SA scene was fucked up and unnecessary imo and I had to skip it when I realized where it was going but again: holy fucking shit

also Allison trying to use her powers on herself??? to rumour herself to be happy?? yeah that was fucking heartbreaking like shit

again: Emmy's acting was spectacular like all the dark, hard looks, the screaming "shut your mouth," the breaking-down-and-sobbing just everything like I cannot applaud enough

okay Diego and Lila and Stan and the unborn baby was Wow. A Thing. Very Lila and Diego like ngl and Stan rlly did grow on me and then he fucking got obliterated but seeing Diego come to grips with being a father was so good; at first, he pushed Stan away and out of his sight bc he was busy and had other, more important things to worry about but then Stan came to him for affection and hugged him and cried in front of him when Klaus died and just!! it was good!

Lila has a special place in my heart but her idea of lying to Diego about who Stan is to test him as a father but very in-character and wow both of them reassuring each other they'll be good parents was lovely to see

ANOTHER THING THAT WAS LOVELY TO SEE WAS LUTHER AND SLOANE AND THEM FALLING IN LOVE AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE Luther deserves good things and seeing him basically say "fuck you" to Reginald constantly was great and therapeutic for me as much as it probably was for him

man oh man oh man poor viktor fucccccc like this guy cant catch a break as much as five can; constantly being blamed for ending the world even though the root cause was Reginald and viktor didn't have as much time with his powers as the rest did and its a hugely destructive power too (not always, as seen with Harlan) and its always the factors around viktor that cause the apocalypse -- someone manipulates them, pushes them, until he triggers and loses control and he's shit on for it even though he couldn't control what others did to him?? viktor was using him powers for only a handful of days, significantly less than anyone else, he barely knows what he can do with him or how it affects others yknow

and I dont, cant, even blame Harlan bc he was in the same boat as viktor -- no one to help him figure out how to control his powers, its just reaction after reaction, accidents and no one on the planet would even know how to help him

but it was an interesting choice to give viktor Harlan back, his kid, and take away Allison's kid-

poor five also like not even a seconds rest LMAO and everyone, especially Allison, blames him for all his time traveling mishaps but like?? he was a kid when he first time traveled and he's taken every chance to do what's best for his family and the world, including killing the Board of Directors like this man is flying by the seat of his pants in almost every apocalypse trying to save everyone

KLAUS MY BELOVED IM SO SORRY U HAD TO DIE A HUNDRED TIMES BUT IM SO HAPPY TO SEE HOW MF POWERFUL U ARE!!! immortal?? immortal!! and can dispel spirits as well as summon them!! wow A Mf Man.

Ben was actually v interesting this season bc yeah he's an asshole in the first half but, when it comes down to just 10 people left alive in all of existence, he shows himself as riddled with Daddy Issues, as the name Sparrow being the only thing in his life, as sensitive to rejection ig?? big mad about not being invited to party and also very curious about the "other ben" the umbrella academy is familiar with

Reginald Reginald Reginald; first off, the actor who plays is A+ and I love seeing him on screen. Drugged!Reginald was so sad to see at first, it was so fucking sad to see that, but after finishing the season I can say with my whole chest that drugged!reginald was the best Reginald like Pogo had the right idea. and even I was rooting for Reginald to turn out good and own up to the mistakes of TUA!Reginald and idk if not be a good dad then at least be a good person and encourage the kids and IDK I WANTED HIM TO BE GOOD HERE BC ITS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DESERVED BUT I WAS DUPED!!! I WAS DUPED AND BLINDED LIKE KLAUS!! im so- and Klaus was so happy and felt loved by him and excited for everyone else to connect with him too and he just turns around and locks him out of the corridor and leaves him to die and Klaus was forced to kill himself

I wonder how Allison felt about both Luther and Klaus dying due to her deal with Reginald (I mean I dont fully blame her for their deaths it was Reginalds fault 100%) but I wonder if she convinced herself that it was "for the greater good" or if it was all gonna ve fixed or worth it later when she got her daughter back

"do u trust me?" BITCH NO????? I actually dont know how Allison could ask viktor that actually maybe cognitive dissonance I mean girl was at sanity's edge but I wonder how much Reginald even told her about the button and the machine?? like how did she know the button would lead to a new universe or smth

the irony of killing Harlan but also using the powers that were boosted by him

now about that ending: im a lil confused but ill take it

its a new universe I think not a reset one bc wouldn't a reset universe let everyone keep their powers?? maybe when Allison pushed the button it got imbued with her desires to not have powers or smth?? did Reginald tinker with the fabric of the universe so humans didn't have powers like these? this alien bitch has a human looking wife?? is she an alien or does she have human skin like Reginald which would mean they've been on earth for a while and when she died Reginald put her on the moon For Some Reason??? what was Luther supposed to her guarding her casket pod on the dark side of the moon from?

did Reginald cause the end of worlds for centuries or do apocalypses follow him too and everywhere he goes, worlds die???

also where the fuck did these "particles" that powered the machine even come from?? what the fuck are these particles?

what does it mean that Five has both arms again?? is he still going to be the founder? has he escaped his fate or??

where is Sloane? give Luther a goddamn break

okay so Allison has her happy ending after everything she pulled, after the relationships she damaged severely and destroyed -- nw what happens? because clearly the umbrella academy isn't done with Reginald and his wife seemingly ruling the world or smth (or at least enjoying very powerful positions, as seen by "Hargreaves" on multiple buildings) so they'll all be pulled together again

(I hope Luther and viktor dont forgive Allison or at least call her out let them cut each other till bones bleed, I say)

let five get a hug?? maybe? a sibling group hug?

[letsfluxshitup]

its so weirdchamp seeing people talking about bbh like "oh why does he put up with his friends theyre so mean to him" like idk guys. hes an adult. he isnt really dependent on these friends. if they genuinely bothered him i highly highly doubt he would have put up with them for so long.

like its Very uncomfortable to see people act like they perfectly understand streamers friendships and friendship dynamics bc they watch their streams??? and also act like said cc cant speak for themself and that they need to make passive aggressive comments on their behalf???

people act different on stream and off?? ive only streamed a little bit and to a much smaller audience but even then im not like. 100% interacting with my friends like i normally would. like ive looked back at recordings that me and my friend have done and been like "huh it seems like we dont like each other at all" when theyre literally my closest friend

also! i feel like infantilizing ccs isnt just "uwu innocent perfect baby" but also trying to act like you know whats best for them, or have any sort of authority over them. like thats the most babying shit i can think of and i have no idea why people think its ok to talk about someone they do not know personally at all like that.

the takeaway here is stop chatting shit about ccs friends like you somehow know better then the cc because you do not and sound like an asshole