#idk i've met some really cool people on here and that's so awesome that the discourse is just annoying mosquito sounds

[elminsters]

can i say some mushy stuff really quick

coming on here and meeting so many likeminded people has been so amazing, having people not only listen when i talk about my characters and ideas but actually take an interest in them and want to hear more means so much to me. AND you have characters and ideas that i get to invest in and talk about, which makes it even better! i just wanted to say thank you for being so kind and fun, you guys are the best ♥️

[thispatternismine]

ATLA live action impressions part 2

Following on from last night's post, here are my impressions of eps 5-8

Still really loved it. Gonna be tarred & feathered for this but I actually like it better than the animated show

Highlights:

Ozai giving Zuko credit for finding the Avatar. There's this weird idea in the fandom that Ozai never intended to take Zuko back. Even though we saw him do exactly that at the beginning of Book 3. Yes he set an impossible task, but when Zuko (apparently) achieved it, he was like 'ok yeah cool - you have met my standards'. Sure, there's no way Zuko would have continued to meet those standards if he'd stuck around, but Ozai did actually keep his word. The fact that he does it to make sure Azula knows she's overstepped & remind her she's replaceable, is an especially nice touch

Getting to see how Azula is treated by her father. I've seen way too many people try to claim Azula was never abused because she wasn't literally set on fire like he was. Never mind that she avoided that fate only because she was able to meet his standards. And having to constantly strive to meet the standards set by someone who thinks 'find a guy who's been missing for a century' is a suitable task to set his kid is abuse.

Another annoying tendency of the fandom is to flanderise Ozai into some diabolical caricature who spends all his time thinking up new ways to torment poor Zuzu, so having that scene of him banishing Zuko was a nice touch. He genuinely believes he is being a good dad & raising his kid to be strong (note: This isn't me saying Ozai is right - I'm saying he thinks he's right.)

The 41st Division 😭

Iroh & Ozai interacting with each other

Gyatso!

I spy some female soldiers! A problem with the animated show was that it's all well & good deciding that the Fire Nation has female soldiers, but bias is a thing & 99.9% of the time if you ask someone to draw a soldier it'll be a man. Yeah sure they all stayed to guard the Fire Nation that's why we didn't see any till Book 3 suuure

"Anything you need." "It has to do with Koh." "Anything but that." DYING

Aang's whole speech to Zuko about how helpful his notebook was (let's be real Iroh probably sighed & told him it was a waste of time so this was the first time he heard 'Hey good job on the Avatar research!') & the way they bonded before he unwittingly set Zuko off

"Quit it before they think there's something wrong with you. More than there already is."

"The Firelord deems your performance... below average." OOF. Pretty sure that's the worst thing you can possibly say to Azula. She'd much rather be told she sucked outright than just 'meh'

Waterbender Yue

Non-arsehole Hahn

Using Kuruk lore from the Kyoshi books!

I like the changes to the NWT siege. Having the spirits' mortality be an occasional, temporary thing to gain an appreciation of life that occurs during a full moon when the powers of those who will protect them in that state are at their peak, makes more sense than permanent vulnerability that relies on nobody finding out. Also never made sense that a naval officer was stationed in a fucking desert & was able to just take time off to go through a spirit library, so having Zhao find his info from the Fire Sages works better IMO. I do hope we'll still get the spirit library though

Ozai's lil eyetwitch when Azula backtalked him like if you agree

Haven't mentioned yet but I love the costumes in this

Also never mentioned Momo, the Real Hero of ATLA

Sokka continues to be awesome

Lowlights:

June calling Iroh cute & fawning over him. Normally I'd think it's unfair for the live action version of a character to be held accountable for what the animated version did, but this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like og!Iroh's groping of June being treated like a joke has been called out many times so they fucking had to know what they were doing

Why isn't Azula's fire blue? We got like 1 second of it & that's it. Maybe consistent blue flames are a power up she'll obtain later idk

[frogfan985]

its okay if not but i would love to hear some of your spy thoughts

hohoho :33 i would love to share some of my spy thoughts! obviously most if not all of this is just headcannons and stuff but its sorta just kinda stuff i thought was cool! this is just kinda rambling but i've been wanting to get this stuff down in writing anyways so :3

I think spy probably grew up with pretty shitty parents, and ended up picking up petty thievery and pickpocketting to keep himself afloat (i also feel that ww2 probably influenced him and his childhood a lot but i havent really thought about how yet, maybe he ends up being involved as some sort of communications runner for the french resistance or somthn before he starts spying. also feel like it would make things really tense w/ medic at least when he first joins the mercs) . At some point he ends up meeting the team fortress classic spy, whos impressed by his skills and takes him under his wing to train as a spy apprentice. I hc that pyro and engie also have connections to tfc (pyros mom is the tfc pyro and engies grandfather is the tfc engineer), so they all might have met each other at some point in the past during this time. Spy proceeds to start his own spying career and becomes a pain in the ass of the entirety of tfc. After few decades he gets hunted down by the administrator and gets his contract.

Im torn on the idea of Scouts ma being Spy's like spy partner or whether he meets her during a mission in boston and then falls in love. I like both of them (scouts ma being a spy is awesome), but im leaning toward him meeting her in boston cause i feel like that would make more sense storywise. Spy wanted to name scout remy but scouts ma thought that was too french so she ended up naming scout jeremy.

Heres just some more like general stuff about him cause i got some ideas. Spies got like a shit ton of scars and tattoos and stuff, cause espionage will do that to you, but he's got like a secret disguise in his disguise kit that makes it look like he only has a few cool ones (the only one that knows is medic) (ive actually been implementing this idea into a fanfic that i've been writing but idk if that will ever see the light of day, we'll see i suppose). Spy's probably incredibly paranoid. Bro's got like those like death note-esque precautions in his entire room so he knows if anyone go's in there, and he's a super light sleeper. Hes also is pretty mistrusting of food and drink (hes had a few too many poisoning attempts), so sometimes he'll go a while without eating out of paranoia. Eventually some of the team notices and try to get him more comfortable and trusting with him in regards to that. Engie and Demo will go out of their way to ask him to help them cook so that he knows that the food is safe (he appreciates it a lot, though he probably wont admit it). I think that Spy is actually really similar to scout in like mannerisms (especially when he was younger), but he had to mask it when he began to spy (and also because he wants people to think hes cool). Sometimes that side of him breaks out on the battlefield, or after hes drank a little too much, though i feel like eventually he might let his walls down and be himself a little more with the team.

anyways thats about all i can think of rn!! yayyy thanks for asking :33

[ashtoberr]

ASHUTA IS SO COOL OHHH MYYY GODDD •□•!!!!!

Hi hi I loveeee your csm oc / insert ♡♡ THEYRE SO COOL Her lore is so interesting 💭💭 At least. The lore that I've seen so far is so interesting. AND HER DESIGN IS SO CUTE I ADORE IT SM 🏂🏾🏂🏾🏂🏾

I always love it when ocs break the "norm" of their universe (idk if that makes sense but her being a vampire when most, if not all of the supernatural entities are devils/Devil adjacent is so swag and cool and based I LOVE SEEING CHARACTERS LIKE THAT 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽)

Her and Aki seem so cute too :3cc I don't think you understand how STOKED I was to see them in the selfship tag. Saw it and ran around my room screaming (in spirit not in action) because YES !!! FINALLY!!! IM STARTING TO SEE MORE PEOPLE W/ CSM SELF SHIPS / OC X CC SHIPS !!!!

I wanna know all ur thoughts about Ashuta 💭💭 She genuinely seems like such a cool character they're so epic and awesome n cool n swag ((o(^∇^)o))

OMG HI!!!! IM SORRY I JUST SAW THIS Ahhh thank you so much!!! It's super exciting to met another CSM selfshipper!!!! :DDD I'd love to hear abt ur self insert omg I'm so glad you like her!!!!!!! It actually means a lot, she makes me really happy to work on :D

And trust me I will provide on Ashuta lore >:3 Here is The Food For Today. I didn't include art this time bc I have been eepy. I have ideas for long after this, but this is the general gist. I plan to eventually draw a lot (if not all) of this out. Here's her concept for her first appearance and mission (Chapters 14 to 20, or up to episode 7 in the anime):

So, after being found by Makima:

She is added to the team briefly after Denji and Power. I'm currently undecided at which point she should enter the story; I'm thinking about prior to Chapter 14.

Makima helps her find a place (up until this point, she's been homeless since becoming a vampire) near Aki's apartment, encouraging her to make friends. She suggests Denji could use a friend since he's similar to her (not fully human, rough background).

Ashuta believes that since she'll be on a team of devils and humans, she would be more likely to make friends since they should be more accepting, right? She shows up to the Hayakawa apartment with some food, trying to introduce herself as a new member of the team (and not disclosing herself as a vampire yet- Power can tell, but doesn't care enough to point it out).

Denji thinks at first she's friendly, but a bit too polite and wonders how someone like her got chosen by Makima. Power doesn't initially feel strongly about her either way, though she's delighted to meet Meowy.

Aki thinks she's polite (and finally someone easy for him to get along with on his squad), but questions why she became a devil hunter after a couple hours of them hanging out. She briefly explains that she's a vampire, and that her life was ruined by the Vampire Devil. Aki's tone quickly changes knowing she's not human, and the night is sort of abruptly ended.

CHAPTER 14:

She's integrated into the group with Chapter 14's mission in the hotel being her first (could be retconned later.)

She's a bit hurt with the talk of Aki and Arai not trusting "non-humans" and saying they don't have human rights, so she's quick to become very quiet since she assumed Makima's team of devils and humans meant she was more likely to be accepted.

Himeno can quickly tell that she looks upset and comes over to strike up a conversation, and the two make small talk throughout the mission. She tells her to not mind Aki, that he's just had bad experiences with devils. Ashuta protests that she's not a devil, but a devil makes an appearance before Himeno can respond.

Himeno discusses with Aki later in the mission that she's surprised Ashuta is so conscientious for a vampire- Aki shrugs and believes it's her being deceptive. Himeno goes to suggest he give Ashuta a chance.

CHAPTER 15:

Ashuta does bond a bit with Denji over the mission, both of them asking each other questions about their respective species ("So are you allergic to garlic?" and "Does it hurt when your chainsaws come out?")

CHAPTER 16:

In hopes of winning Aki's approval, Ashuta offers to help Aki hunt for the devil. She explains that since vampires don't really need to sleep much, she could help him all he wants.

Aki, unimpressed, asks why she's so hellbent on trying to please him when he doesn't care about wether she lives or dies as a non-human.

CHAPTER 18:

In the hysteria of facing the eternity devil, Ashuta finally snaps at Kobeni after trying to keep everyone calm the entire mission, telling her she's going to be a shit devil hunter if she freaks out at the slightest inconvenience. Kobeni yells back that it was easy for her to say, that she'd been calm and collected the entire mission because she can't die. Ashuta yells at her that pussying out and turning on her teammates made it more likely for all of them to die, and to shut the fuck up and help if she was going to stay a devil hunter. It certainly doesn't make Kobeni like her, but it shuts her up.

CHAPTER 20:

Ashuta joins the newbie welcome party. Denji questions how she can eat if she's a vampire, and she shrugs and explains that it's the same way devils eat- the only difference is human food isn't of nutritional substance to her and she doesn't retain any energy from it, she eats it for nostalgia purposes and the taste.

Ashuta lightens up when Makima joins the party, glad to see someone familiar- she considers Makima a friend, being the first person who was nice to her.

During the party, Makima asks Aki how Ashuta's first mission was, and wether she had done satisfactory. Aki admits that she did well, and Ashuta can't help but be a little happy at his approval.

As the night progresses, she gets drunk enough where she feels less afraid to approach Aki again. The two actually end up talking some. While drunk, Aki apologizes for the way that he had regarded her earlier in the night, and that she handled her first mission well, remaining composed in such a stressful situation .

Ashuta shrugs, and says it's fine- when she was turned into a vampire, she'd been shunned by everyone she once knew. She explains she still considers herself the same person she was before, but she fears rejection from humans more than she fears injuries from devils. He suggests she come stop by their apartment again sometime (more out of drunken guilt than actual like for her, but it's a start to them becoming friends).

[livingfictionsystem]

So, my adhd/autistic freind has a grandmother with NPD who was extremely abusive towards her family, but i’m worried about my friends ableism towards other people with npd. she’s not met very many but she’s under the very common impression that everyone with npd is an abuser and an asshole, and idk if should get involved because her family was so hurt by someone with npd, but at the same time i’m worried about the way she’d behave if she met another person with npd in the future. do you have any advice?

Oooof.

Sparrow here. I'm sorry about your friend's family, sounds like some real generational trauma going on there.

Anecdotal storytime, sorry if this is rambly.

I did, a couple years ago, have a pretty big grudge against Borderline folks. My most recent abuser, Rowan, had borderline. We were on a pedestal, yknow, until we weren't. Same with my cohost's ex, AJ. A shitty ex-metamor of mine has BPD. I was straight up sick of pwBPD.

I know a lot about psychology but even I had this unfair anecdotal stereotype of someone locking themselves in the bathroom and hating you/needing you until you were stressed enough to give them what they wanted.

I knew *I* had some kinda serious disorder and was looking into bipolar when the highly ironic suggestion of Borderline hit me right in the face. And I mean I was TEXTBOOK, still am. I was in denial for a WHILE. The last thing I wanted was to see any reflection of my abuser in me. And people around me didn't really disparage NPD because they already had Xanthe's glittery, spotlight-hogging, self-aggrandizing self and thought they were p cool, but even people I was close with would take jabs at Bordies and I'd laugh along with them. I kept doing intense research just to prove it wrong in me and ended up proving it more and more right.

Then finally, I saw some positive examples. One of my besties in the outerworld has Borderline. Bojack Horseman, of all things, really helped me accept it in myself. I joined some online support groups. I see how loving we are, how creative, how most of us make fun of our own mood swings and our sui-ideation. How protective we are, how our impulsivity ends up with some really cool experiences and connections.

Now I've accepted it. But it would've been a lot harder of a road if I didn't have positive examples. And yknow Borderline is p much a half sibling to Narcissism.

Xanthe and Jasper were my great examples of NPD. Their hyper-independence, how that manipulative side can be used to talk friends out of spirals or abusive relationships, how they make sure everyone who benefits them has some sort of give-and-take even if they have to pull strings to do it, the intense insecurity and self-loathing under the arrogant facade. And omg are they masters at social chess, which is awesome when my tactless ass is floundering in turmoil and people wanna cancel me by proxy.

It's really only gonna be positive rep that does it for some people. Maybe your friend has a fave character that actually fits the NPD profile. (Alastor from Hazbin gives me NPD vibes p hard tbh.) Tons of creatives have it, like literally being self-absorbed is part of being famous lol. If you've got good examples to work with, it becomes a Lot easier.

Even better if you've got someone willing to poke fun at their disorder and educate. I can also always drop more NPD stories/memes/resources for you to have in your arsenal. And even just educating about other traumagenic disorders like BPD and DID and stuff may help other disorders by proxy, the same logic does apply.

But your friend may never accept it. And that would suck. But people want to blame a set of stereotypes rather than the casual cruelty of the universe. It's up to you whether that becomes a topic that you two just can't talk about or if it ends a friendship tbh.

But yeah sorry for the ramble, I hoped the more raw experience might help the perspective. Lmk if you have any specific scenarios or anything!

-Sparrow 🧷

[lupaeusarc]

slides my url in here

SEND A URL AND I WILL ANSWER THE FOLLOWING :

do i follow them ? :  absolutely 🤍 why did i follow them ? :  part of me wants to say you followed me first but i can't remember for sure lmao i know i saw nate and ruby on the dash a lot so if i followed first it was probably bc of them do we role play ? :  we dooooo do i want to role play with them :  YES gimme all the dynamics i'll make a separate spreadsheet for our shit alone lmao an au idea for our muses :  well em and simon are in one rn and i love it but another cool one for anyone really could be like a truman show type of thing where like they start figuring it out together as time goes on idk this is incredibly half baked but some kind of like fishbowl type deal a song for our muses :  the summoning by sleep token

do i ship our muses ? :  a thousand percent i love all our ships and plots so far :') what i think about the mun :  literally one of the coolest people i've ever met i'm ???? so scared of you lmfao like in a good way i just think you're an incredible writer and the love you have for your muses is so visible and obvious and the detail you put into every aspect of their back stories and everything is insane and just yeah i think you're the coolest 🙌 overall opinion :  just such an awesome set of blogs it's so impressive 🥹 blog rate : 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

[peggy-uwu]

Peggy's wierd long ventish post abt being ace or whatever

this is VERY rambly my apologies

~

also I've heard some people like to ask about interacting with vent posts etc but feel free to like, reblog, comment, add ur own experiences etc here, I want to talk about this, maybe that'll help me properly figure out how I feel about it all.

~

so, the other night, I went out semi-christmas shopping with my sister, and after we were done, we decided to head back to my place to hang out and watch scary movies with my flatmate. and I wanna state here, just for the record, that this is the first time my sister and my flatmate have ever met, but they have the same vibes, and I knew as soon as *I* met my flatmate, that they'd be good friends.

~

I don't drink, but I don't have any problem with like, other people drinking while hanging out with me. so they started drinking, and talking, and it was all a good time. We were about 20 minutes into our second movie, they were down like, 2 bottles of rosé between them and they got onto the topic of books and stuff, and my flatmate wanted to show us her room and all her books and stuff.

~

so we head up to my flatmates room, and look at all her stuff and just end up hanging out up there. conversation goes and she starts talking about her insecurities, as drunk girls are known to do. so i'm sitting on her bed, and my sister is complimenting her a ton, and I am too, because she's super pretty and really lovely etc etc.

eventually they get onto the topic of sex and stuff, they're talking about their experiences etc etc and I don't remember it very well but I end up bringing up the fact that I've never HAD sex, and don't really want to? like I don't understand why people do it when you can just do other things instead.

and at some point my flatmate said that, if I ever wanted to, she would be happy to be my first.

she just... offered to have sex with me? and I kinda just came up short. I'm ace, and I've known for like a while now, but I'd never actually been offered sex, let alone by a woman, and someone I was at the very least, aesthetically attracted to..

like, I've never been offered sex and had that offer be like, tangible. if I wanted to I COULD do that. that is an action I could take and not like, a hypothetical thing i hope this makes sense idk how exactly to explain it.

~

the best way I can describe it is, sex just kinda feels like fiction to me.? it doesn't really feel like a Thing that People (me) Do.

Iike I get that people DO do it but it feels like one of those crazy dangerous out there jobs that people have, like ocean vessel repair, or fuckin nuclear technicians. yes, there are real people doing these things, but I will NEVER be one of them. it's not a thing that will ever be possible for me to do. and frankly I don't want to lmao. so someone offering me sex feels the same as someone offering me a job in goddamn nuclear engineering. that's just not... a thing.. that I can do. like I COULD do it, I could learn nuclear engineering and become a fucking scientist engineer or whatever. same as I COULD become an astronaut or I COULD become a submarine pilot. like I'm not physically incapable, I have hands and legs and a brain that can learn but like. it will never happen I will never do that or become those things. I just won't. I wouldn't even know where to START.

so being offered tangible sex felt like someone had pulled me up on the street and offered me a full ride scholarship to Nuclear Engineering University. like, cool,, awesome,, no thanks tho.

~

I still just feel really wierd about it. because I feel like the normal response to being offered sex by someone who is pretty, of ur preferred gender, and ready and consenting to it, is to say... yes? sex feels like something that I SHOULD be wanting to do. like up till now id been able to justify my never-having-had-sex to just, never having been OFFERED sex. I always subconsciously knew that I'd decline if offered, but I'd never had to ACTIVELY make that decision.

~

So anyway, we hung out for a while longer talking about art and tv shows and MORE sex stuff before I got tired and went to bed. They ended up staying awake pretty late, being loud downstairs and I had to tell them to shush a couple times before I could finally get to sleep at around 1-2am.

~

I woke up in the morning at a reasonable 9 o'clock and rolled over to a text from my sister, responding to my 17 "guys be quiet" texts, reading "ok srry we borderline fucked instead srry LMAO"

~

and again... what?

If I figure out how to put into words the way I felt when I read that text, I'll update this post, but for now all I can explain it as is, I felt wierd. and in a bad way.

like, my older sister. had sex. with a person who I was becoming friends with. who had offered ME sex (that I turned down). but then she went on to have sex with my sister. it feels like betrayal almost? but for absolutely no reason. idk idk idk i don't know how I feel about this or why I even feel anything at all. ugh. help.

~

~

and tangentially related but also kind of a different topic altogether:

~

I know that if I just, went out, brought someone home and had sex with them, I'd finally like, /get/ it, I'd understand what all the hype was about, why everyone seems to place so much value on sex. unfortunately for me, I was raised christian and have pretty heavily internalized all the "sex is a sacred, divine act that should only be performed post marriage with your husband".

~

I don't know where I exactly stand with all the religion stuff, but, as much as I wish I didn't, I do believe in god, and that fuckin rapture is a thing that's gonna happen one day, and sin matters, and that having sex before marriage is not a Thing That I Am Allowed To Do.

but at the same time, like, I kind of don't give a fuck what other people do? my sister was raised the same, and she seems to have no problems whatsoever with sleeping with whoever she wants, so is it just a me issue? am I blaming religion for my fear and aversion to sex when I'm actually just a fucking coward?? I don't fucking know

~

so either way, just going out and having sex with someone is not an option on the table for me, not without also coming with a metric fuckton of guilt, shame, anxiety and fear, that really doesn't seem worth it just to 'see what the hype is about'.

so tldr for the last like, 4 paragraphs,

general disinterest in sex + religious belief surrounding sex = it just kinda isnt worth ever having really.

~

which is fine. I guess.

but it still feels really fucking awful to not be able to connect with people based on those shared experiences? I'm pretty sure I'm autistic, so it's already hard enough trying to connect with people, and being ace just isolates me that much more. and for a person whose spent the last 3 if not 4 years with a net 0 close friends, with no end to said friendless streak in sight, it really fucking sucks.

~

Internet friends are great but I can't hug you guys (see: one specific person it knows who it is ily 💜💜), or sit on your bed and listen to music with you, or serve you dinner and bake you a cake. cooking for and giving people things is my love language, so it's basically impossible for me to express 'love' to my internet friends, and not being able to express it almost feels the same as just NOT, and that hurts.

[faithdeans]

hi, it's ace anon <3

i'm just kind of weird feeling right now because like, i like the idea of romance, i think it's cute, i just don't think it's for me, or if it is, it's gotta be somebody i havent met yet. so that would make me aro or demiromantic, which is cool, and i'm fine with that, i just,

i'm visiting my cousin and his girlfriend of three years and she's so nice and they're so sweet together and i think they're going to get engaged soon based on how my cousin is acting, and it kinda makes me sad to think that i've never met anybody who would ever make me feel like the way they feel with each other. i feel so on the outside and i'm so happy for them, i am, and i'm so excited she's going to be part of our family.

it's just that the way their relationship works and how happy they make each other would never work for me. i realize i'm a different person than them with different boundaries, but looking at them so in love reminds me of how uncomfortable i would be if someone did that to me and also of how awesome love can be, so it's just a sucky feeling.

sorry if this bummed you out, i love you and you really helped me last time, so i'm like praying you have advice for how to not feel sad?

-ace anon

hiiii aceanon!

100% understand how you're feeling rn. when i realised i was aro, i definitely went through a kind of grieving process over it. very much thinking 1) there is something wrong with me and 2) i'm never gonna have that. i don't even think i want that but i'm never gonna have that.

it's like a whole world you can see and have to come to terms with missing out on and it's hard and it's painful. (at least it was for me)

i was actually talking about this yesterday and it's like, i feel like a hopeless romantic still. like i still crave that closeness and honestly some relationshipy things but. it's not romantic for me. it's more like a bond or a trust or just an understanding.

the thing i found the most helpful was romanticising the fuck out of my friendships. idk if you've seen the way i talk to the people i'm closest with on here but it helps so much. we're stargazing together. we're napping together. we're writing each other love letters and poems and getting fake married. it's beautiful and it's so joyful.

i try to bask in the love i can feel rather than mourn the love that i can't.

and you know i still get blushy and butterflies sometimes, when people are particularly sweet or kind. sometimes it feels like little platonic crushes! (and i know that's "all" they are, bc if someone actually told me they felt romatically towards me i'd be pretty uncomfortable yknow?)

also like, if you want a qpr or a partner in the future just maybe take some time and think about how you'd like that to look for you! i can promise you, you will find other people like that, especially with the internet.

honestly realising i'm aro has opened me up so much more to love because i'm not watering down my affections for my friends in fear that it might look romantic. they know i'm aroace, they know i'm just being sillysweet and i know it's the same from them.

idk man, just remember romatic love isn't the only love that can make you feel whole. in the meantime i'm here for you!! i hope you're okay and i love you so very much <3

[yooniesim]

Most of these big blogs are so annoying and whiny as they sit high on the pedestal that their follows and friends give them. Yeah reblogging doesn’t matter to them because they get that constant attention no matter what. They all sit and hype each other up while ignoring anyone that isn’t tied to them or benefits them directly. They all deny this though, because they can’t admit their friendships are completely shallow and only exist to benefit themselves on simblr. I’m so tired of this community, it’s the only one I’ve been in that feels like high school. Most of the people are 20-28 and act like they’re still in school, too. The hive mind on here is a disease. Thank you for actually speaking up and going against the grain.

No problem, nonny. I live to open my big mouth apparently lol. Idk most of these people but the dramatics are just over the top. I get blocked on the regular but my follower count never goes down, ya know why? Bc none of them followed me or cared about my content in the first place, lol. Which is just as well by me. Just keep to yourselves if ya want to, in your own circles, it's your blog and your online experience. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to, as persecuted as people want to act.

My advice, nonny? Just don't follow them or block them if you need to, and look for people with less notes. You find way more interesting cc, posts, and edits that way. Hype them up instead of people that already have like 200+. It's an awesome feeling and I've met some cool people that way. Don't limit yourself to one friend group, cos chances are they don't really give a fuck about you anyway. And if someone gives you weird vibes, avoid. They're probably talking shit.

Thanks for sending this, and I hope your time here gets better.

[antpernas]

1/30/23

Haven't written in a minute (I wonder how many more times I'm going to open with a line like that?) but here we gooo

Got back from my many winter break travels; had a real messy trip to NYC but it was still fun and my first time in Brooklyn AND I met some really cool people while I was there! We live and learn :D

Started the semester off really well, really loving my classes and almost all my professors so I'm thinking this one will go better than the last!

Internship is proceeding alright, got confirmed to be selected again for the summer so I will be moving back to D.C. again when June comes around, maybe earlier depending on some other factors to be dated :)

Started playing volleyball again at FIU and I've met some really cool people!

Started taking CAPOEIRA CLASSES and they're SO much fun! The group is really awesome too and I'm looking forward to being somewhat flexible again.

Been going up to West Palm every weekend, which is nice!

Starting to date around again, which is also nice! Have met some really nice guys, finally met up with some guys that I've known for years, and all in all just enjoying company :D

Have done some computer reorganizing, going to start working on some projects I've been meaning to get to for a while. Downloading albums, getting some new programs, organizing files, all that fun stuff

Started off well on my music curation, kinda slacking now, but planning to get into that again too! There's another tech project I want to go along with that :)

Haven't been playing piano, and honestly I think that that's going to be on the back burner for a while, unfortunately. But I still manage to get in some notes every now and again!

Starting to get into tarot?? And I think I'm learning more about astrology? Good stuff!

Started amassing my library, both digital and physical :) Eventually when I graduate and move out every book I have digitally, I will own a physical copy! But maybe that's wasteful so IDK

There's probably more, but for now this works!

I'm going to start keeping this journal, as well as a physical one with little highlights from the day. Just small interactions or moments or memories that made me smile, maybe some doodles to go with that.

All my responsibilities are starting to pile up, and it's hard to juggle maintaining relationships, work, school, and my personal life, but I've been doing a decent job of it! And I'm feeling super motivated these days! I'm excited to keep going even if I'm going to be swamped. I feel really good these days :)

OK That's it! Bed time gn <3

[queerplatonicpositivity]

I'm feeling an extreme alterous attraction to one of my best friends (we're a-spec), but we only know each other online and we're still both in our teenage years... though I really want to ask them to be my QPP or at least start building up our friendship into a QPR, I'm not sure how good it would work out with the things I said above. idk if this is the right place to ask but some perspective on this might help

Hi, Anon!

That's so awesome that you're feeling that kind of alterous attraction to one of your best friends!

Here's an ask I answered about how to ask someone to be your qpp (link), and then another one I answered about how to ask someone to be your qpp when you're still in high school (link).

In addition to that, I think what you said about "building up our friendship into a QPR" is a really cool way to think about it. To that, you could think about... what would you want your future qpr to look like, and what would you need to start doing now to grow that in the future?

I also really believe in the capacity for people to build meaningful relationships with people online. I've mentioned before that the person who runs https://genderqueerpositivity.tumblr.com/ is my best friend, and we've never met in person. But we've been friends for almost a decade and I treasure them so much.

[fanfic-chan]

Heizou or Killua for the hc ask game!

Heya Tia!! I hope you're having an awesome day! I love both of these boys so much, but I think I'ma go with Heizou this time just cause I haven't gotten the chance to talk about him much yet since his release and he's super, super cool! (That said, idk a lot about him canonically just yet since I haven't met him in game, so please forgive me if any of these are super inaccurate.^^` This is just based off of my own first impression of him lol)

Headcanon A: Realistic

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Heizou would be an absolute master at card games. Not only would he be amazing at calling people's bluffs just based off of their body language and facial expressions, but he would probably have a killer poker face as well.

Headcanon B: While it may not be realistic, it is hilarious

Idk why this popped into my head all of a sudden, but I just had a really funny idea and I can't let it rest now. Heizou is absolutely terrified of geese. The thought of this man just screeching his lungs out while being chased by an angry goose is one of the funniest mental images I've ever had, and that is my one and only motivation for this hc.

Headcanon C: Heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

We all know that Heizou is obviously an amazing detective, but I feel like his skills can be a bit of a double edged sword at times. For example, he can always tell if a friend is lying to him about something, or when someone is being fake nice with him, which I can imagine would lead to a lot of awkward and upsetting situations for him.

Headcanon D: Unrealistic, but I will disregard canon reality and substitute my own

He has an elderly bloodhound that he's had since he was a child, and sometimes he likes to take him on some of his less strenuous cases for some tracking, though since he's a senior dog, he can't accompany him as much now and much prefers to spend his time at home napping at Heizou's feet while he works on cases or reads some murder mystery novel.

Ask me here!^^

[cosmicbrowniefan]

hi! I'm here for the ship game!

pronouns: any tbh but i really like they/them

height: 5'9 i think (175cm, i have no idea abt the feet system)

hair color: black hair with a lot of blonde highlights

eye color: light amber

sexuality: I'm lesbian but I honestly don't care abt the gender of the chara since it's fictional anyway

personality: INFJ, I've been told that I'm very laid back and calm. I also think I'm quite passionate about the thing I enjoy

hobbies: playing the guitar and practising together with my friends, also smoking:skull:

things i enjoy: learning new songs, playing video games, going on walks, pineapple on pizza, spending my time alone, those 2-3 weeks before the school year is over, ppl actually using any pronouns for me

things i don't enjoy: fics where the reader is super shy/the typical Y/N sterotype, cigarettes (weed ftw), feminine compliments, pick-me's…

other info: Idk if this is relevant but I'm genderfluid!

skin tone and body type: I'm fairly pale and literally turn red when I try to tan at least a little bit (sigh… asian genes…) as for my body type I'd say I'm average?? I don't really have any curves and I'm flat chest-wise. I have some muscles because I go to the gym regularly but that's it.

i ship you with...

max mayfield!

how you met: honestly, you were both going to see eddie munson for weed at the same time. you two both showed up before him, and awkwardly tried to skirt around the idea of what you were doing there, until eddie showed up and you realized you were both there for the same reason.

her first impression of you: here’s basically what was going through max’s mind when she first saw you (before eddie showed up): what the fuck who is that what the fuck i thought i was gonna be alone oh my GOD why do they have to be so attractive and laid back i’m totally making this awkward and weird. her thoughts after eddie showed up: holy FUCK we’re here for the same thing oh my god maybe we can bond over this now fuck i’m gonna need to ask eddie who this person is i’m gonna actually explode they’re so fucking cool. so yeah, the best i can describe her first impression of you by is this internal monologue of hers.

how you got together: you started liking max after a few weeks of knowing her. you picked up pretty quickly that she liked you back, and, knowing her, you knew that you’d have to be the one to initiate anything. so, being the awesome and cool and respectful person you are, you casually ask her out one day while you’re going on a walk together. completely not expecting to be asked that at ALL, max stops in her tracks, then trips on the sidewalk and almost falls, but you catch her. which leads to you making a sarcastic joke about her falling for you. needless to say, max said yes.

what she likes most about you: honestly, max is simping for you CONSTANTLY. everything you do is incredibly attractive to her. playing guitar? attractive. playing video games? attractive. smoking? attractive. laughing? attractive. literally just sitting there? attractive. you’re just so calm and cool and collected and she gets flustered by everything you do. so yeah, in conclusion, max’s favorite thing about you is your vibe. physically, she’s obsessed with your hair. 

what you guys enjoy doing together: you guys love going on adventures and finding new spots and hidden gems around town to hang out at! whether it’s a cool café, or an antique store, or some cool greenhouse or shit like that, you guys just love exploring and discovering things together. when you’re not out and about, you like hanging out and smoking and cuddling. you’re often playing guitar while she just sits and listens, admiring how perfect you are.

bonus headcanon: your muscles are one of max’s main weaknesses. how the fuck did you get so strong. she just feels protected and loved by you all the time and loves the reaction she gets when she tells people that she’s dating YOU because you’re just so well-respected and cool and everyone is a little bit in love with you, but max is so proud to be the one that you chose.

[peculiarbeauty]

ahkmen asked: hey! i don't have an active rp blog at the moment so i'm sending from my personal (SUPER sorry abt that!!), but i just stumbled across your blog and saw that you used to rp on youtube! i did too! it always feels so magical to see other people who roleplayed there in ye olden days and i just wanted to give a wave of sorts, glad there's still some of us out here!

OH HELLO MY LOVE. it's no problem at all. i hope it's okay for me to post this rather than make it private as maybe some folks can read and also feel that sense of community. i think it's fun to connect with people who started on youtube with roleplay. idk if you started on yt or not, but either way, i definitely did and it was v liberating.

i met someone on there that was friends with me for yeaaaars from yt as well and we had many good memories from it. we found each other over on tumblr and it was so crazy. me and this person aren't close anymore, but i can forever look back on the memories had and feel thankful in a way for that connection.

youtube was super popular back when you could customize your theme on your channel and stuff and i remember people actually made themes for that the same way they do here. my friends and i all had really cool decked out pages and it was SO awesome. i went onto a site afterwards called a.nispace which .. was the worst experience ever im ngl. just because i had this terrible stalker who never ever left me alone and even threatened me, but i still loved roleplay and i still made some great pals. i guess that's the plus on that haha. i joined tumblr in 2015 and man was i sooo lost on this site. it's crazy looking back at how far i've come but it's like .. if you enjoy roleplay, you don't truly ever leave it behind?? i mean, i guess some people do, but eventually everyone wants to check in and see what's up in the world of writing yk.

i'm really glad that i can bond with you over this, friend. it does make me happy. i absolutely shouldn't have been on yt though as a roleplayer because i was like .. maybe .. thirteen years old when i started. that's why i am so adamant now that interaction with minors is a big no no because i see my younger self looking back at me and i wish that more people felt protective enough to tell me of the dangers on sites and not interact with me because .. i didn't know about the dangers. there were some really shady people out there. and they didn't care about your age when i first started. really freaky.

ANYWAY, onto better things <33333 mwah. adore u.

[beardog]

2023 highlights: life events, part 1

trying not to drown in my "case of the mondays" that actually occurs every day of the week this season, so i'm jotting down good things that happened this past year to stay afloat. idk if any of this is entertaining to anyone, but it's mostly for me to remember anyway

some good things that happened this year in sort of chronological order under the cut:

joined a committee working on developing anti-racist policy. it was challenging and meaningful and at times incredibly emotionally taxing. there were definitely some points where i thought about bowing out, but every time a person of color quit the group (or quit working entirely) i was like, "shit. i can't leave. it can't all be white people here!!" so i stuck it out. i feel like i've sort of just stumbled through this entire process, but i do want to help make my workplace just a little bit more bearable

one of my best friends turned 30 and we had a cowboy themed birthday party!! it was super cutesy and pink and decorated. our server initially thought this was a kid's birthday party and we were like, "HELL no!! our precious pink cowgirl princess turned 30 and we're all VERY happy for her!!" later, our server who was going to turn 40 sometime later said she wants to do something similar for her birthday now, which was awesome. it's so so so cool to stop giving a shit about what people think and do what makes you happy!!!!

i joined the pride planning committee this summer. i worked the booth last year, had a great time, was invited to join the planning committee this year. was able to bring up some points, boost others' ideas, and even helped with the design for our bookmark/pin/shirts!! looking forward to being a part of this again next year (look at that dragon!! that's my dragon! and the aliens!!)

helped out at the juneteenth festival at the library table. i didn't realize we had community outreach opportunities like this that i could help out with. it's not that i don't like my job as it is, but i really loved getting paid to do shit outside lmao

joined the "suletta sunday everyday" discord server in august (i think??). i have a hard time socializing with people i've never met, and this is the first time i joined a community server that i wasn't just a lurker in. i worry i talk too much sometimes there, but overall i've been having a blast, and i've talked with some pretty cool people over there. i don't know how to say this without sounding cheesy, but i feel like i've become a better person through being on there. just in little ways, you know - learning how to talk to people and sharing ideas and whatnot. god i'm embarrassing

part 2 whenever the hell i feel like it!!

[cosettepontmercys]

Omg 300+ bracelets!! That's awesome - good luck! I made about 50 for my first show and am planning to do some for my various concerts next year. I would definitely enjoy seeing bracelet photos if you want to share (no pressure if you don't!). And it's fun hearing about the bujo stuff! I'm bujo adjacent - both my best friends do bujo and I love seeing their spreads, but I've never done it myself. What types of inspiration do you use for your bujo and embroidery?

I'm kind of chaotic with crafting like I start a lot of stuff but only finish a few things haha. I'm also coming off of being in grad school for a few years where I didn't craft at all so I'm trying to get back into it. I mainly collage and make bracelets for shows lately and I'm trying to practice painting too. In the past I knit for a few years but idk if it's for me.

i'm thinking of making bracelets for holly & olivia! i'm also going to fall out boy in march, but i don't think i'll be making bracelets for it (i also don't know their stuff very well — like, at all, but a friend wanted to go and i'm always down for concerts + to learn music before i go)!! and then obviously, i've got eras!!! i don't have any recent photos of bracelets, but here and here are some i've posted before !!

i got into bujo because one of my friends was like "oh i'm thinking of starting a bullet journal" and then i got super super super into it for like three years, and then quit in 2020 because well, you know. and then migrated to notion, but have been toying with the idea of returning to bullet journaling/junk journaling/something that combines the two! i really love doing either specific themes with my bullet journal (i.e. i did some bookish themed spreads back in 2019, like red, white & royal blue the week i met casey mcquiston in portland, or musical themed ones — i definitely had an anastasia spread, a waitress spread, etc. depending on what i was currently into / what events were going on in my life at that moment!, definitely a few taylor spreads too!). i also started doing more scrapbook-y styled bullet journal/junk journaling, so saving receipts, etc!! i can dig an old bujo out and post photos for you if you're interested!! and with embroidery, i tend to get kits from etsy! usually something floral, but at some point i want to work on more lettering-y things!! i did cross stitch as a kid, and all the embroidery stuff is self-taught!

a lot of my crafty stuff is a result of being done with grad school (graduated in 2019) and then being in a terrible work environment for a year after → when we started quarantining i realized i didn't really have ... hobbies! i did not know what to do with myself except for read and work and then after a while i realized that was not sustainable and i had to do something else! grad school really sucked a lot out of me, and i think it does the same for a lot of people, unfortunately. i hope you're able to get back into crafting more soon 🤍

i used to paint a lot when i was younger, but haven't in years but i've been thinking of experimenting with painting again — i also really want to go to a local ceramic painting place soon (once i'm no longer suffering from the plague), i used to go to one near school but haven't gone in ages! it's really cool that you used to knit; i've always wanted to learn how to knit! how did you get into knitting + collaging? 🤍