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#idk if anyone will care about this to be honest
yohanseyebrowmole · 3 days
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Indelible | Jacaerys Velaryon
(adj. impossible to erase or forget)
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Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!reader
Sum: Jacaerys realises he should have listened to you and told everyone about the two of you too late...
Or was it too late?
or in which
Jacaerys breaks up with you two years after secretly dating you, and you get wind of his potential engagement to your cousin the heir to your family's company.
Word count: 3,692 (give or take:/ I edited it and wasn't bothered to recheck the wc)
Warnings: idk nothing much. I tried to avoid using y/n but ended up using it like thrice (I think)
a/n: Reader's mother is the second child of a huge businessman and took on her husband's name upon marriage, but has business ties (her maiden name is Dayne but its not a big deal). Reader's father is a well-respected lawyer but it's not relevant. Jace is heir to the Targaryen family business. He's a little slow and doesn't connect dots until later on lol.
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☆ Loving Jacaerys Velaryon was easy.
Keeping the fact that you loved him a secret was the hard part.
Two years.
For two years, you loved Jacaerys, and now you are hearing that his family was actively trying to set him up with your cousin.
What’s worse is that it makes perfect sense for them to get together.
Jacaerys is set to inherit the family company from his mother and your cousin is set to inherit your family's company from your uncle.
Why did he want to keep your relationship a secret in the first place? You didn't know, but you respected his decision nonetheless.
But two years of not being able to tell anyone?
You wanted to tell your parents and your older brother, you wanted to gossip with said cousin about your relationship, but Jace remained steadfast in his decision not to tell anyone.
He probably got fed up with you asking to become public and broke up with you, at least that was what you originally thought.
Two years of dates and I love you's gone just like that, all because Jace wanted to keep your relationship a secret and you were tired of not being able to tell anyone.
You had no interest in your mother's family company to be honest. No care for business or the likes, your interest is and will always lay within anthropology.
You loved it.
It was the perfect balance of history, science and mystery and everyone who knew you knew how much you loved a good mystery.
You loved the drama and the slight chaos whenever you got called in, and they say they found a body and having to find out what happened to it.
What was their story? What were they like? What was their life like? How did they end up like this?
Sometimes, it was a simple burial. Sometimes, it was an accidental death.
The murders were always the most interesting.
Of course, as an intern, you were usually not always assigned to the murder cases, but you always accepted any that came your way.
You loved the hunt, your curiosity always getting the best of you and the sense of relief, pride and justice that filled you once you found the identity of who was lying in front of you and who was responsible for it was always worth it.
You loved finding clues that helped catch the one responsible for the person's death, and being able to give families closure after their loved ones went missing was rewarding to you.
Yes, it was confronting and disgusting at times like the time a body was found at the landfill and you had to sift through weeks of rubbish to find missing bones (you were sure you would never be able to smell anything other than rotten food ever again) but you loved it regardless.
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You were once again sitting in the library at your corner.
It was one of your favourite spots on campus.
The window provided a perfect distraction when she needed a little break from her work. It was far enough from the other tables that no one bothered her but close enough that she could watch people go about their day when she was bored.
The shelfs also obscured their line of view of the table giving you privacy was always an added bonus. 
“Having fun, pretty girl?”
You blink, shifting your gaze away from the window where you had been watching what seemed to be a very heated fight between a couple. You smile at your boyfriend. 
“Hey,” You said. “You're here earlier than normal.”
Jace sits down next to you, letting his bag drop from his shoulder onto the floor.
“Finished early.”
“You look tired,” you said, taking note of the light dark circles under his eyes. 
“Cause I am,” Jace groans, leaning into you. He practically shoves his face into the crook of your neck.
You shift sideways so he can rest his head comfortably and run your hand through his hair gently undoing any notes made from the wind outside.
“You should go home and sleep if you're tired, Jace.”
“Don’t wanna,” Jacaerys responds, not bothering to move his head from the crook of your neck. “Just wanna be here with you.”
You can’t help the upward tug of your lips.
“Careful Velaryon, someone might assume that you're obsessed with me.”
Jace huffs out a laugh, finally lifting his head and sitting back. 
“They would assume correctly. What are you doing later?”
“I don’t know,” You shrug. “But it seems like you know what I’m going to do.”
Jace grins, grabbing his bag from the floor and digging around it before pulling out two tickets. “You are going to go visit that new exhibit at the museum with me.”
“You got tickets?" You can't hide your excitement. "How? I tried getting them for weeks but they were sold out, I even asked mum if she could pull some strings.”
“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Jace smiles. "You were going to ask your mum to get you tickets?"
You shrug lightly, grabbing the tickets from him, inspecting them before you all but throw yourself at him, hugging him. You pull away but grab one of his hands intertwining your fingers with his. 
Jace nods along to your random facts about Egyptian history as he watches your eyes light up as you giggle and ramble on about the exhibit, squeezing your hand, bringing it up to his lip and kissing the back of it. 
You barely react to the affection, already gotten used to the gestures and continue talking about Ramesses the great and his military accomplishments.
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Your first thought was that it was your fault.
Clearly, you must have done something wrong for Jace to break up with you.
You rack your brains for weeks afterwards to try and figure out what you've done wrong, but as you sit there in your little corner of the library, you realise you've done absolutely nothing wrong.
So then you wonder, why would he break up with you?
Was it because you brought up the fact of a public relationship more often than not these days? Did he suddenly think you weren’t pretty enough? Or were you and your random rants now annoying to him?
The tip of the pencil you had been using to draw snaps.
You thought it would be easy to get over him. After all no one knew you two were together so you weren't getting constant pity glances.
Turns out it was harder. Way harder.
You didn't have anyone to rant to, no one to lean on or cry to and you were practically at the end of your patience, about to call your brother and spill everything to him when you heard someone call your name.
"Oh my god finally!"
You turn only to be met with your best friend Baela, who coincidentally was also Jace's cousin. You smile at her, forcing yourself to push your previous thoughts to the back of your mind.
"What's got you so excited?" You ask her.
She plops down on the seat next to you.
“Why are you so hard to find?”
You laugh. “I’m always here Baela. You know that.”
She rolls her hands before leaning forward. You notice the glint in her eyes. Mischief. Her eyes were basically the same as Jace’s aside from the colour difference.
“It’s Jace,” she said. “Mum told me that Aunt Rhae was trying to set him up with Elise Dayne.”
You freeze slightly. “What?”
“I know! I was shocked as well!” Baela smiles, not realising the bombshell she had just dropped on you. 
“Elise Dayne?”
Baela nods and rambles on about how she had seen Elise and Jace on a date the other day and how cute they had looked together. You smile and nod along but all you can think about was this was why he broke up with you.
Baela leaves to go to class but only after after telling you everything.
She leaves and you sit there for what felt like hours trying to wrap your head around what she had told you.
Jacaerys had broken up with you only to get together with your cousin. 
You gather your things and walk to your car.
With your hands on the wheel you scream before you start laughing.
The laugh turns into choked out sobs as you let yourself cry for the first time since Jace left you.
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Seeing Jacaerys walk into your family home with his family had not been in your plans for tonight.
Frankly, if you had known this very important and must not miss family meeting was to officially announce his engagement to your cousin, you would have accepted that case on the unknown skeleton they found last week or gotten your professors to make something up so you could have an excuse not to turn up.
Instead, here you are, forced to stand and watch Jace smile and greet your cousin and her parents. 
You stand in a corner next to your brother, tongue poking the inside of your cheek in slight annoyance.
You can tell the exact moment Jacaerys notices your presence. 
You send him an overly sweet smile and watch him falter, confusion and something else flashing in his eyes before he blinks and puts his mask back up, turning and shaking your mother’s hand.
He had always been good at that, pretending that nothing was bothering him.
Your mother smiles and turns to you and your brother. Your brother nudges you, and you quickly plaster a pleasant smile on your face.
“This is my daughter and my oldest.”
Your brother shakes Jace’s hand and introduces him. Jacaerys turns his attention to you. 
“Hi,” you smile, reaching out and shaking his hand. “Y/n. Pleasure to meet you.”
You watch him gulp, smile and greet you back.
You keep your distance and stay quiet the entire time the two families eat. You know your brother has noticed because he keeps sending you odd looks, but you brush them off, not bothering to pay him any mind or explain your current predicament to him.
What does bother you is Jace.
He keeps looking over at you, most of the time it’s short glances but sometimes you can feel his gaze boring into the side of your head as you answer the questions his brothers, Lucerys and Joffery ask about your degree, his mother occasionally asking a few of her own.
You make sure to keep your answers brief. Your degree was hardly dinner conversation, and you didn't want anyone's dinner resurfacing in any way.
You make sure to turn to him and give him a smile. He snaps out of his daze every time, blinking a couple of times before tuning back into whatever your cousin was talking about.
At some point in the night, you get up, telling your brother you needed to get something from your room.
You don’t notice Jace’s eyes following you as you walk away, and you sure as hell don’t hear him excuse himself to go to the bathroom.
You startle slightly as you feel someone grab your wrist. You don’t even need to turn around to realise who it was.
The soft scent of sandalwood tells you enough.
“What are you doing?” you hiss under your breath, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one had seen the both of you before pulling him into your room. 
Jace looks around, taking in his surroundings.
He can’t really help it. It was the first time he had been in your room. He notices the photo wall full of polaroids you told him about making and the string of fairy lights you had bought together after convincing him to go shopping together. 
“I didn’t know you were related to her,” Jace said.
“I told you who my mother was,” you scoff. “It was pretty fucking obvious Jace.”
Neither of you notice the person standing by the door, listening in on the conversation through the slight crack.
“Well you could have straight up told me,” Jace argues.
“You're arguing with me because I didn’t give you my mother’s government name? Are you serious? I told you her name, where she worked and what she did. I even told you she was helping coordinate that joint event with your mother! I couldn’t have been more obvious, it’s not my fault you couldn’t put two and two together!”
Jace opens and closes his mouth. It's not like she was wrong.
“This,” you whisper. “This is why you broke up with me? If you had known, would you have stayed? Would you have let me tell everyone that we dated?”
Jace winces at your harsh tone but otherwise stays silent, giving you your answer. 
“I can’t believe you.”
“You think I wanted this?” Jace said. “You think I knew my parents were gonna set me up with her?”
“Clearly you did since you refused to tell anyone about us.”
“That’s not -”
“Don’t,” you cut him off. “Just don’t.”
You sigh and shake your head.
“You need to go. Leave first, and then I can follow after a couple of minutes.”
Jace grabs your hand before you can push him towards the door. “Wait, just -”
“You need to go,” you repeat. “If you haven’t noticed your fiancé-to-be is down the hall along with the rest of my family and we both have better things to do then stand here and argue over a topic we already know our stance on. Also, I have somewhere I need to be.”
With that, you pull your hand away from his and walk away. He follows you into the hallway, hears you say bye to your family, and watches you turn to leave.
Fuck.
How was he going to fix this?
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Looking back on it, Jacaerys really didn't know how he didn't put two and two together.
He had met your mother on numerous occasions considering that she worked with his mother for joint events and whatnot.
You were practically a carbon copy of your mother as well. 
The hair, the eyes, the intellect. Everything about you screamed Dayne and his stupid brain couldn’t piece together the fact that you were related. 
How the fuck did he not know?
All those times when you had told him your mother was away on business and he had commented that his mother was gone as well. 
He groans, running a hand down his face. 
Rhaenyra, who had been standing by the doorway for the past five minutes watching her son have what looked like a mental breakdown, finally decides to make her presence known.
It was time to talk some sense into her son.
“Jace.”
“Mother.”
“Can I come in?” His mother asks. 
Jace nods and she walks into the room.
“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?” she questions. “Luke is complaining about your constant groans.”
Jace normally would have laughed but all he can do is sigh. 
“What’s wrong, Jace?” his mother asks again.
“I messed up,” Jace mutters. “Really bad, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
His mother nods, walking forward and sits beside him on the bed. 
“Why don’t you tell me everything so I can help?”
Jace looks at her, hesitates for a moment before the flood gates open, and he tells her everything. 
He tells her about how you two met, about your first date, about how he wanted to keep your relationship a secret, and you had been okay with that for a while.
He tells her how he broke up with you because she wanted him to get together with your cousin. 
He doesn’t leave anything out, and his mother just sits and listens to everything. 
When he’s done she stays quiet.
“Jace,” she asks softly. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Jace forces himself to hold back the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.
“I don’t know. I don’t -” he shakes his head. “I was afraid that you wouldn’t approve, and I didn’t want to lose her, but I guess it’s too late for that now.”
Rhaenyra reaches out and holds his hands. 
“If I had known you loved someone like that,” she said. “I wouldn’t have set you up. I would never deny you your happiness. Even if she wasn’t what I envisioned for you, I wouldn’t have made you leave her, Jacaerys.”
His bottom lip wobbles. “What do I do now?”
Rhaenyra smiles and whips away a stray tear from his cheek.
“Jace?”
He hums.
“Do you like her?”
“What?”
“Do you like her?”
“I love her,” Jace said. “A lot.”
His mother smiles. “Then what are you doing here?”
He stays quiet, blinking at his mother.
“If you love her, why aren’t you with her?” His mother said. “Go get her back, Jace. If you love her, fight for her.”
Jacaerys stands up quickly and nods. He grabs a jacket from his chair and is gone the next second.
Rhaenyra watches him leave shaking her head with a soft smile.
That foolish boy.
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You were on campus, specifically at the building where your professors kept the unidentified bodies that had been sent over after being found.
You weren't allowed to have phones near the workstations or the bodies and even if you were you would have never bothered to bring it up with you.
Who in their right mind wants to touch their phone with people juice on their hands, regardless of whether or not you were wearing gloves?
Not to mention that you would have kept having to change your gloves as well, and that would do your head in. 
Your phone was in your bag, which in turn was in your personal locker outside, which meant you had no idea that Jacaerys had been trying to get a hold of you for the past hour.
You had no idea that he was calling you or texting you to ask for your whereabouts. 
Luckily for him, you were slightly predictable. 
You had just finished writing down your notes for the Jane Doe in front of you and making sure her bones were locked away and secure. 
You swiped your student card into the security slot, and the doors outside opened. Smiling and waving to the security guards stationed outside the lab, you grabbed your bag from the the opposite wall, holding the lockers.
You push open the door and stop short.
It was raining, because of course it was. 
You put your notes in your bag and started walking to your car, which was conveniently parked at the far end of the parking lot. 
You had been too busy re-reading and protecting your over your notes while speed-walking to your car to realise that Jacaerys had been waiting outside waiting for you.
You couldn’t hear him call your name over the sound of the rain.
When the rain suddenly stops falling on you, you look up only to be met with the slight of an umbrella. 
You turn confused and are met with a panting Jacaerys.
“You walk really fast,” he said, slightly bent over as he caught his breath.
You just stare at him. “What are you doing here?”
He stands up straighter. 
“Uh, I came to apologise.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” Jace said. “For everything. I’m sorry for being stupid and not putting two and two together. For keeping us a secret and breaking up with you. I’m sorry.”
“Where is this coming from?” you question.
“I came to a realisation,” Jace answered. “I can’t live without you.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Is that right?”
“I hate the fact that we aren’t together anymore. I hate the fact that I didn’t tell anybody we were together,” Jace said. “I hate being away with you. I hate not being with you. I hate not being able to hold and tell you I love you every day. I’ll do better this time. I swear it.”
“Careful Velaryon,” you say, stepping forward. “People could assume you are obsessed with me.”
Jace’s lips tug upwards, and he nods, closing the gap between the two of you completely, leaning down.
“They would assume correctly.” 
The world around the two of you fades into the background as he leans forward, his lips brushing against yours. 
The air around the both of you seemed to warm. You don’t know who leans in first, and you don’t care. 
All you cared about was the fact that Jacaerys was kissing you again. That he was yours again.
Your eyes flutter close as your lips meet, and the umbrella protecting the two of you from the rain drops to the floor as he pulls you closer.
You don’t register that you drop your bag to hold onto his collar and pull him even closer. 
You could have sworn lighting flashed through the sky as your lips met, but maybe that was you imagining things. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss him. 
Those sparks when your lips touched his, that feeling of something more.
Of something real.
Your heart skips a beat
“You know you’re stuck with me forever now right?” Jace said as he pulled away smiling.
You laugh and Jace sees that familiar sparkle of light in your eyes. The ones that remind him of stars.
“I think it’s you that’s stuck with me.”
He grins leaning in to kiss you again. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” you smile into the kiss.
A particularly cold and harsh gust of wind coupled with the booming sound of thunder breaks the moment and you shiver.
Jace goes to pick up the umbrella that had fallen. Luckily, the wind hadn't carried it too far off.
Your eyes follow him before they fall on your wet bag on the floor. The bag that had your notes. The bag that held the notes that you had been painstakingly working on for the past few hours. 
You scream, causing Jace to jump.
“You little shit! You made me drop my notes! I take it back! I hate you!”
Jacaerys laughs as you pick up your bag and hit him with it. He runs away as you chase him in the rain, cursing him out for letting you ruin your notes. 
You really wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Well, except maybe with dry notes. 
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Thank you to my bby girl @icarusignite for pre-reading this and thirsting over Jace to an almost unhealthy degree with me ily<3
Go read her fics or else (this may or may not be a threat)
Written by Yor <3
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triannel · 2 days
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HI!!! I adore how you write bill, an my own birthday is tomorrow an im ✨Terrified✨✨,, n was wondering ifff. You could do a sorta angst-fluff where its the readers birthday, but every single one of his birthdays has been awful. And like, now that bills here with the reader he feels like maybe he wont have to Just survive his birthday? That even with his god awful family, it might be ok. Like yeah the meds help, but it doesnt fix anything if the people youre with are why youre fucked yknow? IDK and maybe bill decides to take it upon himself to remove the readers family😋 cant be a neglected middle child w all the responsibilities of the eldest if youre an orphan/J AN I DONT MIND HOW CLOSE YOU STAY TO THIS I LOVE YOUR WRITING ANYWAYS!!
(,,,o n also the reader maybe be a grungey scene kid kinda guy? Lots of piercings, an is more feminine than his parents think he should be, especially as a trans guy, So thats smth. Love bones n bugs and shinies an is like if a dog n crow were a guy,, n supr srry if this is a bad req!! Im jus excited cus i love bill, and im also stressy out cus of my burthdayy >_<“) SO NO PRESSURE TO RESPOND ESPECIALLY IF THIS IS TOO LONG OR ANYTHIMG!!!/gen
-🌙
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Hello and Happy Birthday 🌙 anon! I've managed to whip this up and I hope it gives you at least some sort of comfort for today. I really do hope you're situation gets better soon, take care of yourself and have a great day! (Also, don't worry, I never really do mind long asks.)
BirthDate
Oneshot | Bill Cipher x Reader | Fluff/Comfort?
Warnings: Mention of Death, Implied Abuse, Implied Trauma, Implied Bad Birthdays, Bill Cipher lol
Quickly stepping upstairs, you lock yourself in your bedroom, blocking all the noise emenating from downstairs. Exhaling, you drop to your bed, letting yourself relax into comfort of the soft mattress and fluffy pillows.
Only needing rest by this point, you close your eyes. Wanting nothing more than to leave this place behind.
"WHOA, DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU SO EARLY!" A voice suddenly spoke, booming loudly for you to hear.
Ah yes, there he is. You can't exactly say he's your best pal, but right this moment, you truly do feel more at ease with him than being back there.
"It's honestly been a long day so..." You shrugged for a moment before continuing, "Does it bother you?" You ask, giving a lighthearted smile.
"NOT AT ALL, I WOULDN'T BLAME ANYONE BY WANTING TO MEET YOURS TRULY," he spoke, blinking slowly in a dramatic way to show off his 'impressive looks'.
You chuckle slightly, shaking your head, "I mean, I don't think I'm exactly the one to choose to be here..." speaking your thought aloud just to perhaps tease him a little as you glance at him for a moment before slightly chuckling once more.
You never really did know how you even get to meet him to be honest, he somewhat always manages to show up in your dreams, so overtime you guessed that he might be the one approaching you...That, or it might be because of something else entirely.
For a moment, you thought you saw him become nervous for a second, but maybe it didn't happen at all as you only saw it for less than a second.
"WELL, JUST WANTED TO CHECK HOW YOU'RE DEALING WITH KNOWING YOU'RE ONE YEAR CLOSER TO YOUR DEATH," he flatly said, in a weird, eerie way. He always did love being weird so this type of behaviour wouldn't be uncommon by this point.
"Right... Well, what's the agenda for this time then? Or are you busy?" You ask, avoiding your 'birthday' in question. You'd much rather not talk about your birthday at all to be honest. Not a single one ever went well...
Adjusting his bowtie, he started to speak, "WELL..."
Snapping his fingers, your surroundings completely change.
The rest of your 'dream' went on a relatively good note. Having a cup of tea, playing chess, you both did the usual activities you both would do when meeting in your subconscious mind. But the only thing is that, he seemed to be more...well a bit more charming and noticeably, but only slightly more open to your suggestions on what else to spend time on.
He'd usually take the wheel and drag you through any activity he wants, but this time though, this time he was a bit more...considerate.
Now playing a board game with him, you take the dice and roll it. Getting one, Bill chuckles slightly at your misfortune for a second before taking the dice from you.
He might be treating you like this because it's your birthday, but you'd doubt it... Well at least for now-
"EY, IT'S YOUR TURN TOOTS," he snapped his finger a few times in front of your face.
Chuckling, you mutter an apology before taking the dice. Rolling it in your hands, you then let it go. As the dice lands on the floor, it lands on a six, letting you be the winner for the match.
"Yess, I won!" You raise your arms, smiling back at him.
"CHECK AGAIN." Bill spoke, pointing at your piece. Looking down at the board, you see a newly added tile in front of your piece, moving the finish line out of reach. You raise your eyebrow, giving him the side eye.
"WHAT? I DON'T MAKE THE RULES," he raised his shoulders, smiling mischievously with his eye.
Shaking your head, you chuckled at his silly banter while giving him the dice for his turn.
It's unexpected but, this dorito triangle man truly has made a significance on making your birthday much more bearable. Be it his choice to do it or not, you're honestly just glad to at least have some semblance of joy sprout on this day.
I haven't been able to post for a week because unfortunately I became rlly busy at the moment and it isn't helping that I do tend to procrastinate at times. I'll post more regularly later, but for now at least, I'll post this here. Once again, happy birthday 🌙 anon!
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rayssyscourse · 2 days
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syscourse hot take (more like syscourse tired take honestly) "pro/neutral/anti-endo": for anyone who's endogenic in any way, or even just previously thought they were endogenic, it's really tiring (and not conducive to constructive conversation) to have so many syscourse labels revolve around...an innate aspect of someone's lived experience. Like. We are fully aware that plenty of people who label themselves "anti-endo" don't necessarily think that endogenic systems are fake and/or evil etc, that's just purely a demonstrably true statement. We don't even think that the people using "anti-endo" that way are necessarily Terrible People for doing so. Simultaneously, though, speaking as a system who spent years thinking we were 100%-basic-vanilla-endogenic but still wanted to take part in nuanced discussions around system experiences and offer our perspectives on discourse--seeing 'anti-endo' or even 'endo-neutral' always still...stung a little? Even when someone was conversing in good faith. Like, the idea that it was acceptable for our personhood (which really is what it felt like the arguments were about! whether one of us was 'just a made-up daydream' and not a person) to be up for debate, that it was an acceptable "political football" or thing to be "neutral" about...wasn't a good feeling. And honestly, even though we technically have a DID dx on paper these days, we still get that little flicker of distrust whenever we see 'anti-endo' in someone's bio--because we're still exactly the same system that we were before, and if they wouldn't have believed us about our experiences then...why do they think so much depends on some rubber-stamp diagnosis? what do they think changed? We don't have a good answer to this problem, though. Telling people that they're automatically terrible bigots for not labeling themselves pro-endo doesn't feel like it'll actually solve anything, because crucially I don't think that most of the "doesn't actually believe endos are fake or bad"-anti-endos are calling themselves that for a reason that simply shaming them sufficiently will change. Also, the internet is a big place, and expecting everyone to be up-to-date on every possible niche discourse stance is absurd--and if someone really just wants to stay the heck away from system discourse entirely, they should be able to. But also...yeah, we wish they'd use different words. Don't use "anti-[unchangeable aspect of someone's identity]" and not expect it to feel hurtful to see. "Well, I just don't want people Like That interacting with me..." what if they just thought your art was cool? What if they agreed with your hot take about [insert fandom here]? Who else are you 'anti', not because you disagree with some opinion they hold, but purely because you're 'nothing like them'? Idk. It's frustrating, and I wish we had some kind of easy, magic solution.
thank you!! this is a really well written thought, and i fully agree.
to be honest, this is one of (admittedly many) reasons i dropped pro/anti-endo labels altogether. not only can they come across as denying somebody's existence, but i feel like we just don't fit in simple boxes like that. i mean, "pro-endo" can mean any plethora of things: it could mean the person is endogenic, they support endos, they don't engage in syscourse/just don't care, they just disagree with anti-endo points, etc etc. in the same way, "anti-endo" can also mean a million things. some anti-endos think endos are all faking, some think they're misinformed, some believe they exist but think they're spreading too much misinfo, some think they're doing harm to traumagenic communities, etc. i also just don't like the black-and-white way those labels portray us. somebody being pro-endo doesn't mean they support every single endo, it doesn't mean they necessarily support radqueers (weird misconception i see a lot), and it doesn't mean they have no criticisms of the endogenic community. i know a lot of anti-endos who fully believe and don't hate endos but just have criticisms of the label and/or community, who are often assumed to hate all endos or think all endos are faking because the label is just too broad and comes across completely wrong.
sorry to ramble on for so long in one giant paragraph lol. tl;dr, you're so right, say it louder for the people in the back!!
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squash1 · 1 year
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[the good place / greywaren / the bear / trb / ted lasso / greywaren / the west wing / bllb / dead poets society / mister impossible]
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bluespacebug · 1 year
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I like that ‘Gizmo’ has become Nadja and Laszlo’s nickname for Guillermo.
I imagine at first they genuinely didn’t care/would forget what his name is, but after time it became more about them stubbornly refusing to admit that they care/know anything about him by pretending they really thought Gizmo was his name.
Now it feels like it’s evolved to being a name they call him more out of habit than spite. They’ve spent so much time calling him Gizmo that it’s just who he is to them, they know his first name at this point, Nandor says it all the fucking time. It’s just that they’ve come too far now, they’ve committed to calling him Gizmo
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chussyracing · 2 months
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wishlist for summer break except it gets more specific and unhinged as you read:
leo and roscoe joint content
lewis hanging out with his bestie fencer
ferrari posting a mixtape of bryan activating charles' praise kink agressively for all of us who have second hand praise kink
fernando alonso posts a video of himself twerking on tiktok (shirless for the people who need to see the samurai tattoo shaking as it happens)
pierre obtaining a dog tail butt plug, taking a pic of it and posting it on main with one singular dog emoji attached thinking he is incredibly funny only to get cancelled on twitter by the moms thinking he is ruining the youth
alex gets a new pet, this time it's a parrot named chilly and the reason he chose him is because he can teach him a few phrases that will annoy carlos to no end, so he can bring him to some races next year when carlos gets too cocky
logan joining youtube to give his fans vlogs from his daily life and routine that start off normally by going to target and stopping by starbucks (while calling it errands) but by the end of the summer break he is already making 2017 logan paul esque kissing contest videos and throwing patriotic parties
valtteri sadly runs out of seat options for 2025, so he starts his own initiative called cycling grand prix championship where he travels with f1 and makes a cycling race on the circuit on thursday of each race weekend (carlos is welcome to join anytime williams won't have the second car for him)
oscar gets lost and nobody thinks anything of it, knowing he prefers to only spend time with his close ones away from the public eye and he never posts during the break, only for everyone to freak out when mclaren posts official announcement he has gone missing, they call up theo pourchaire because he is always their last choice for everything and when they bring him to zandvoort they discover oscar has been there for a while now, taking a nap, waiting for the season to continue
lando speeds through 6 new landogates during the summer break (including but not limited to: being danica patrick's whistlerblower on who in the paddock is probably a reptilian, hogging kate middleton to himself while she was away from public eye and getting accused of keeping an affair with zak brown to get preferential treatment in the team over oscar when grainy photos of them in compromiting positions on a golf course start making rounds on tiktok gossip pages)
daniel gets a minor role in a new hollywood romcom with anne hathaway in the main role through his management agency and he is very excited to reunite with the bestie he found in anne during the met gala last year, except he plays a porter that she barely sees as she steps into a hotel and go past him straight to the reception, so when the shooting is finished the director has to explain it was daniel ricciardowho tries to speak to her because anne believed it was adam sandler the whole time
guanyu tries to find a new hobby over the break after spending all of his free time with his little ball of fluff that is Sweetcorn and since he is vulnerable to peer pressure and Valtteri started rubbing off on him, he gets talked into making a nude calendar like Valtteri did, except this time they cannot make ass jokes so they go full out with the concept - full frontal and all - Guanyu gains so many new fans and sponsors that Red Bull replace Checo with him for the rest of the season
frederic vasseur keeps low profile during the summer break and everyone thinks he is just having a nice quiet time with his family and friends except he formed a petanque team with some other ferrari employees and they went on a tour across croatia entering as many games as they could and nobody found out because the grandpas they played against generally had no social media or any idea who fred is until tumblr tifosi discover a team named charlie's angels and break their cover
max spends most of his days of summer break streaming his sim races on twitch way past 3am not necessarily because he wants to but because he would do anything to piss off helmut marko who coincidentally sees the content on social media and gets so angry the monica geller esque vein on his forehead pops, he gets taken into a retirement home and randomly screams names of red bull juniors when watching tv from his bed, spitting his puree all over the room
estie bestie finds out about dashcon 2024, decides to support it and turn up to the event, he cosplays batman with full gear, makes his partner wear catwoman costume and even gets two more (last standing) alpine employees into costumes and inside his batmobile specially bought for this event, what a surprise it is to him when he enters and the only thing that welcomes him is a singular kid sized ball pit
lance discovers what child defiance means and decides to get a personal trainer to learn to play tennis on a professional level, he starts preparing for his atp tour debut without letting his father know and then announces he is leaving in the middle of f1 season, leaving mike krack scraping for a replacement (lance is very decent which surprises not only his father but also a few doubters among the fans)
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chiimeramanticore · 8 days
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#im not dead quit asking#I'm just really really really not doing well#sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent#things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure#i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc#i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person#i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see#i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that#maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway#I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner#and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first#everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions#my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol#and i still don't know a lot of you personally but#parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people#I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems#im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly#and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days#I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol#but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much#but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs#im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself#which I think is where im at now. burnt out#and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys#if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber#etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there#im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet#hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime
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THE BEST OF TUCHANKA: TURIAN PLATOON
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Lt. Tarquin Victus With: Lt. Steve Cortez and The Ninth Turian Platoon Decisions like these weigh heavy on me- when I was a General, I could pass them up the chain of command. But now? I'm all I've got. I'm beginning to understand why leaders so often seem lonely... Worst case scenarios aren't just theories- they're what you'll be dealing with five minutes from now. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#steve cortez#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i was originally planning to make platoon and bomb one big gifset since it’s 2 halves of one big story#but i ended up splitting it bc i ran out of room due to the post limit 🫠#i don’t really have the most to say for platoon individually bc these quests are pretty short#but victus and sons y’all are a bit shady for lying to shep about the bomb’s origins if i'm being 100% honest rn#and if i’m being completely honest here keeping something like that secret would have blown up in their faces so fucking badly#with krogan leadership??? like??? like wrex would be fucking peaved about a fucking turian bomb on tuchanka#but like for a second can we imagine wreav??? someone who is already gunning for revenge?? and this was kept a secret???#i've never had wreav as my krogan leader but i know in my heart that man is out for fucking blood when he finds out about the bomb#but for me it's the way every other race constantly does awful shit to the krogan and wonders why the krogan are “wArMonGeRs!!!” like???#and why krogan leadership just doesn't give a fuck about anyone else's problems?? which is literally 100% understandable for the krogan#maybe it's bc you guys gave them a STERILITY PLAGUE and planted a fucking BOMB on their planet idk#*inserting soph’s ‘sometimes i understand why the krogan want to shoot everyone in sight’ quote here*#on a final tiny note i like the parallel between that soldier saying “who cares about a few dead krogan?”#and that scene during the normandy summit when wrex says “why should i care if a few turians go extinct?”#i adore the poetic cinema of those lines in parallel with one another#especially when you take into account the fact that victus helps wrex cure the genophage#and then his son helps stop the bomb on tuchanka by sacrificing his life for it#and that wrex sends squads of krogan soldiers to help defend palaven afterwards#it's a nice callback to both those moments imo :)
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shopcat · 3 months
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also by that definition this site itself is "media consumption" which creates a funny world where you're mad ppl do media consumption on the media consumption site that is itself media consumption by your own words. Okayyyy
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rosicheeks · 5 months
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To anyone who messages me - I’m sorry. Im sorry I suck at replying 99% of the time. I’m sorry I don’t have the mental capacity to hold a conversation. I’m sorry if you see me active on here reblogging and answering asks but I still haven’t replied to your message. I’m sorry I want to talk to you but I get overwhelmed by the smallest things.
I really really really hope you never think I’m purposely ignoring you or trying to hurt you in any way. I hope you can understand that I’m truly trying my best.
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satellitedarling · 10 days
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haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask
#vent#idk i feel like i have no one to turn to#like my parents are there but relying on them feels like walking on eggshells and hiding the effects of my transition#also one of them is just a plain Disney movie antagonist to be honest#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason#im content with my life#in a sense i dont want to have to see anyone ever again#just rot away in my flat forever and ever and not have to worry about conflict or agression from the people in my life#maybe im selfish idk#the earth is the home of everybody on earth#not just me#also human connections? so hard!!!#i think i may be on the spectrum but im still waiting for the official diagnosis next month#but its like im always uncomfortable around people? like im some sort of strange social parasite who does everything ever wrong and is reall#y awkward and nobody liked me ever but also when someone says they do#there's simply nothing? as if they were inly words to me#and it's not only that i dont believe it possible#but also that i just dont know the feeling#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it#it's not their fault#but i just feel like there's a barrier between me and everyone#or maybe that I'm like just some minor occurance in all these wonderful people and i disappear from their lives as quickly as i arrived?#i dont know how to feel content truthfully#walking znd listening to music can only keep me pensive for so long#i just want to be comfortable sometimes#spend a few minutes not worrying#actually accepting care and love#being deadweight if only for one short while#and not hating myself for days afterwards
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tethrras · 1 month
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it honestly guts me that i don't like da2 more............. i have a lot of reasons for it and i still Like the game as a whole but it'd always be my last choice to play and even when i do play it i get burnt out super super fast. i think i would find it easier if varric had an actual romance??? because i also find dao a drag at moments but it helps that i always have alistair's romance beats to look forward to. there is so much i love about da2 conceptually especially in terms of lore and world building and character interactions but i think there are too many complicated and contradictory variables for me to find it a fun sandbox to play in
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adelle-ein · 10 months
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getting pretty tired of those posts about how being antisemitic helps zionism or is what bibi wants or lets evangelicals off the hook or whatever so that’s why you shouldn’t be antisemitic 
maybe you should just idk not want to be antisemitic
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warwithoutreason · 5 months
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thinking about tozik again. man why do you allow yourself pain still. everything is trying to kill you. the goddamn furniture and walls are trying to kill you. but no he'll just let it hurt,, seriously what is his problem
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taegularities · 1 year
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Rid I'm so sad that you're receiving this hate but for me you're one of the kindest people in here. I'm always rooting for you. Sending hugs. 🥰
thank you babe, i think i needed to hear this.. you're the sweetest, all the hugs back 🥺🤍
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local-magpie · 10 months
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there is a good chance i have reached the point in my life where most things will not change for me for a very long time. this is... weird to think about. im used to moving once every year or two and not expecting to stay in the same city or town for long. i used to think id move in together with a romantic partner.
now i just live downtown with my cat and probably have as much job security as i care to, barring doing something really stupid, and kind of expect to stay in this apartment until i either cant or wind up changing jobs away from here
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