#idk it’s just like. these r my special guys and they’re so important to me and it makes me feel. BAD

[shot-by-cupid]

I am so. So sorry for posting some garbage like this but I am actually going insane and I need to get this out of my system before my head explodes

For my whole time being in this community. I have tried to be. So. So. So normal. I have always tried to be comfortable with/cool about sharing f/os cuz like. They’re not realllll and it doesn’t matterrrrr or something idk

But idk what’s going on with my idk why I am. Behaving in this way but I have started to really. Really hate sharing. Like. I don’t even know how to properly explain it because it’s never bothered me this much before. I’ve always just kind of shrugged it off when I see someone I share with. But recently I have been so???,?,,???? AHHHGGGGGGG

There is like. Actually something wrong with me. It’s not all of them. I’m actually really okay sharing like. A majority of my f/os. But there is like. Idk 2 that I will actually start ripping my hair out over.

Idk. In the past I would simply sigh and move on like it never bothered me like this before but now it’s like. I genuinely get UPSET AND ANGRY and it’s really. Embarrassing I’m so weird oughgg like. Im 19 I shouldn’t be huffing and puffing because someone likes the the same character as me. And obviously I would NEVER ever harass someone over this (worst I’ve done is blocking lol) It’s obviously not their fault I’m just. Really weird and it’s like. That’s MY guy. And it just upsets me so much. When I was like 16 I was like ‘lol idk why ppl r sooo weird abt sharing :P’ but like. Now I get it. I really reallllly get it. And it bothers me so much. And I’m just sitting here festering. And I’m so jealous and sooooo bitter. OUGHGG I bite I bite so hard

Idk I feel so ashamed cuz like. I am a grown woman there is no reason to be acting like this idk. Anyway if you read all this I’m sorry and I hope you know I am so normal actually and not bothered at all by anything.

[castle-dominion]

castle 6x14 dressed to kill

the fashion designer episode liveblog

dumpster diving my beloved Canon gay characters "I had it first" No you literally didn't

Wedding stuff. Inviting my older bro to watch this w me bc he likes wedding stuff. Something a little less... intense. KB: They are all very girly, with a lot of gauzy photos of love-struck brides looking off into the distance. Love set design btw. RC: Perhaps they’re contemplating the fifty percent divorce rate? MR: Of course it was the 70s so I can't be sure... Those two r so cute & martha is great <3

Hey we've recorded this location before KB: Matilda King JE: ... Ok. .??

LP: a scarf a sash or something. RC: Blue hairs. So she was killed by a little old lady. Or Katy Perry. Or a dr seuss character

speaking of, where IS ryan?

Nice apartment!!! Ryan's outfit. I also liked Esposito's but I didn't like it. Is it legal to be on call 24/7???

Isn't this already their statement?

Ryan tech stuff

u already need to be a hottie? Stare all you want! Actually no. Ew only hiring ppl who.. i'll shut up.

Big bro: oh no it's his mom? his mom is secretly matilda king?

Like Sifu

Recognizes her!?

About 15 minutes lol that's when she did modeling!

Wow bright pink fashion man. So many canon gay characters even tho... I think they ARE canonly gay but they are intended to be gay obv

& she has a business to run!

ella's dead? how? "we're trying to find out" u KNOW how: strangled

Poor serge.

nvm.

episode title: dressed to kill.

If you're fired by matilda that's a rite of passage.

bro says the fibres could have gotten on her neck & THEN she was strangled

Pretty normal looking guy

btw love the background artists

RC: Oh! I just came up with a new title. “Murder is the New Black”. KB: Does that even make sense? KR, showing up: No it doesn't

is it REALLY bigger than fashion?

bro: i think it's the big lady (matilda) liking ella's design & someone else taking credit so they can make it big Me: I'll write that down. *not telling him he's right*

Yay cordova! house!

Usually exterminators get RID of bugs

Black coral?

"yes that's him but his hair was more like this" Knows what he wore

RC: After a tough negotiation that involved my Knicks tickets and naming a character in my next book after his Nana, my friend came up with a name. Marcus Conway.

the captions <3 "couture chick" "that's "chic"

My man looks young but with grey hair Ooh she's hot, rly tall, I love her

Corporate espionage & that's why she was killed

Bro: her cell doesnt work from home!

probs just an online zine bro

Wow art. Wow wedding dress.

Ryan pretty.

The boys watching caskett be mushy KB: can you go with martha?

U could be a regular ex-military, u don't need to make everyone ex special forces babes

Ella called Marcus on the landline oh dear!

love the murder timeline

WOuld she do it herself? Bro: maybe she was pressed for time, didn't know who she could trust

Bro: I think it's the pink guy who heard the call as she was leaving & went after her to protect matilda or he needs to secure his position or he needs to prove his loyalty or he needs to frame matilda to get her job

She's on a call? Ask her to hang up politely? idk.

Wow she be yelling.

"it;s the clothing that stitches it all together, we are their fantasy!

It...IS temper babe

Matilda king is good at this capitalist evilhood.

Yeah illegal illegal gross illegal technically legal but shitty crappy

"What information? Don't say u don't know, say you cannot share. "the weekEnd" oOOohhhhhh so it's fine if hte COPS listen!

We need more beckett+ryan

That's a lot of audio footage. THey're probably rly good at seeing what is important while listening at 2(to 3)x speed. Bro & I were arguinng if it was audio recording or direct recording. Inane to YOU esposito, probs super interesting to sm1 who know what they're talking abt. KB: This directory lists over a hundred people who work there. JE: (wistfully) Yeah. (pause) Lucky I have crazy good hearing. (I'd like to learn more abt that. The man is p musical after all.) KR: *nods* it's true (when did he learn that?) Ah, take me out to the ballgame money atm from that one movie

He's supposed to be working at a fashion place???

She cryin I don't like this gal at all lol At least she says "excuse me" The model didn't show up :(

fall 2015 not 14 babe Nice wood on the walls

MR: Then don’t. I’m sure there’s another venue out there that the two of you will just fall in love with. Bro: the station

Beckett wedding dress Bro: it's gonna be HER dress? Bro: No it's not. It's so ugly. Bro: that's the worst way to do an overskirt, and the overskirt doesn't even match the rest of the outfit it looks sooooo tacked on after the fact. doesn't meet in the front, same length all the way around no taper, nothing to hide or blend the seam/joining point especially with how bulky it is especially at the top. t looks like they misread the instructions and put the petticoats over the dress instead of under it. it's not even white-white it's a warm offwhite which doesn't go with the silver at all. I am a huge fan of overskirts so believe me when I say it would be 100000x better without the overskirt.

Me: austrian crystal, I had earrings with that. What is is tho? Wiki: A rhinestone, paste or diamante is a diamond simulant originally made from rock crystal but … In the US, these are sometimes called "Austrian crystal".

while she's gone for 5 mins send a pic to castle Bro: I like the top of the dress at least, but it looks like they assembled it wrong

She's gonna say no. At least Castle didn' t put down the stuff before he called her. Oh she just claims she didn't want to rush it. Or maybe you could plan for fall 2015!

IT'S STILL THE SAME DAY?

JE: Just Yumi. It – I guess if you don’t have a last name you can charge more. (not clipping but good face.) JE: And in addition to the fact that this model is hot – (he studies the photo) – she’s wearing black coral. Bro out of the blue: two ugly guys & a dog JE: I’m probably going to have to call her in for an interrogation. (just so he can look at a pretty girl acab lol)

Yumi: Models. Lack of food makes them so very fraught.

Bro: It's only been ONE day!?!?!? Me: that's what I said!

Bro: that sash looks like the TYPE of thing she'd have, but I didn't see it specifically.

Love his fashion scarf still lol.

Maybe they were both subconsciously getting the ideas from the air. You come up with the same ideas all on your own. Like music.

Ew copaganda.

WAIT IT WASN'T HIM?

bro: it's the guy! the assistant guy! who I was suspicious of before!

Love all these people & looking weird.

Turns out mobsters are more ethical. Love the music bwang.

Love her jacket btw. & so this entire thing happened in one day but then at the very end it was boom morning new day get julian skip the facts getting the dumpster stuff, then boom take down the murder board & do paperwork & go home?

Ooh fire on in the background Like how she's talking with her hands KB: I wish my mom knew you Me: Maybe she was the one who first bought kate a richard castle book Bro: "actually I DID bang your mom." Me: !? Bro: "So you don't have to worry, she liked me a lot"

gtg cook supper bai

[xoxo-teddybear]

Adorable - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Cursing, slice of life, Bakugou kinda ooc but still lovable

Summary: Honestly it’s just some scenarios of Bakugou and Y/N being an adorable couple. It’s also just some moments in their lives as a couple

“Annnddd....done!” You squealed as you got your setup ready. You were currently setting up a cupcake tower on a table after you spent days baking. UA needed some funds so they set up a little event to raise money. Students could either participate in raising money or giving money and Y/N chose to do a little cupcake sale to help out. What a sweetheart.

“It looks amazing Y/N,” Mina said as she tried to grab a cupcake. You smacked her hand away before she snatched one. “Ow!”

“Those aren’t free Mina, they’re important too.” You explained as you picked up a stack of flyers to pass out.

“I know they’re important! They’re gonna save my life! I didn’t get to eat breakfast and I’m starvingggg.” You laughed at your best friend before you took a few steps away from your table to pass out the papers.

“Well unless you pay for it, you can’t have it. Besides, I put a lot of work into them. I spent a week in the kitchen and I just spent 4 hours setting up the table. Cant let them go to waste and just give ‘em for free.” you said as you gave away the flyers.

What you didn’t realize was that behind you at your table, Bakugou and Kirishima had stumbled upon your cupcake table and silently went in to grab one. Unfortunately, they weren’t the most graceful and tipped over your entire setup. They looked at each other in shock and quickly scrambled to fix their mistake as you were distracted. The boys picked up the table and quickly went to gather the cakes.

“I put a lot of time into them. There’s sugar free, dairy free-“

“Do you have any that are just free free? I’m really hungry.” Mina whined and you gave in.

“Fine, I’ll let you have a cupcake if you help me with the sale. You can make sure the table stays neat and tidy!” you bargained to which Mina agreed. However, as you said that, Bakugou had tipped the table again after he bumped into it while picking up cupcakes and Kirishima gave him a look that screamed ‘duuudeee seriously?!’ As he was on his knees picking up the sweets.

“Hey, maybe we can get Bakugou and Kirishima to help us too!” Mina offered.

“Ehh, I don’t know. They’d probably just want to eat everything,” you warned as you hung up one flyer.

“I doubt they’d put food in their mouths if it meant helping the school.” She tried to defend them but behind your backs, the boys panicked when they didn’t know what to do and just stuffed the cakes in their mouths. They left evidence all over their hands and face.

“Well, let’s get this bake sale started!” You said and when you both turned around to face your table, you saw it on the ground along with a few cupcakes. The rest of them were in the hands and mouths of Kirishima and Bakugou as you both watched them continue to chow down on the desserts. Once they noticed you guys staring they froze, dropped the cupcakes, pointed towards each other, and spoke with full mouths at the same time.

“.....he did it.” They both said with frosting and cake all in their hands, mouths, and faces.

—

Here’s the situation. Y/N has been directed to keep a low profile due to her being targeted by a few villains. She wasn’t down for that especially since her and Bakugou were a duo. She knew Bakugou could handle himself but it made her feel better knowing they were both looking out for each other on the field. And so, to keep fighting by his side, she went under an Alias hero name, Blaze, and gave herself a new look for the time being. She wore a very subtle and natural wig, different makeup, and wore a bandana mask that covered half her face.

Bakugou of course knew who she was, along with the rest of the former students in 1-A, but they went along with it so that Y/N can continue to fight. Unfortunately, “Blaze,” grew popular as people began to notice Bakugou’s “new” hero partner and eventually, the duo got an interview that wanted an inside scoop on all things Blaze. So here we are at that interview.

“You know Dynamight, I think I like this new partner better than H/N,” the interviewer said. Bakugou and the rest of 1-A grew a shocked and fearful look on their faces once those words left the poor man’s mouth.

“Excuse me?” Y/N aka Blaze said.

“Well, Blaze, I think you just have this special something that H/N never had. And, I think you’re more talented than her.” Ironic since the man is speaking to the same girl just with a different name. Once he said that though, the former students all grew shocked faces that were the embodiment of “😧😯” as they awaited for Y/N’s reply.

“Heh...what?” Y/N laughed trying to play it off and not be detected, “H/N is brilliant. You have no idea what you are talking about,” Y/N said with a slight smile but 100% attitude. Bakugou looked at his girlfriend with hesistant eyes as he was worried she would kill the man.

“I think I do,” the man started, “see, you just bring this fresh new look for Dynamight that H/N never brought.”

Bakugou was pissed this man was talking about his Y/N like that but he was in the eye of the public and had to keep a cool cover and so he quickly jumped to try and save this interviewer from Y/N’s wrath.

“H/N was also fresh! Heh..some might even say that H/N and Blaze have the same amount of ..fre-freshness.” Bakugou tried to counter but the man kept going.

“Well in my opinion, Y/N L/N wasnt an impactful or important part of your success at all. She was overrated.” And Bakugou’s face grew worried and shocked as his head snapped towards Y/N to gaze her reaction.

“Huh! What do you know?! You don’t fight villains or save lives!” Y/N aka Blaze said as she stood from her seat and walked towards the man. “You just sit there with your over-gelled, swoopy hair as you read and ask stupid questions off of stupid cards!” She said and took the cards out of his hands and threw them at the man.

Bakugou was quick to stand and try to take the attention away from the scene. “Hey uh..my-my team will be coming out with new Dynamight merch so stay tuned for that!..heh...”

“And another thing,” Y/N said as her intense stare never left the interviewer’s. “H/N has worked too hard to be treated with such disrespect! Am I right everyone?!” She asked the crowd in the audience as they all cheered in agreement.

“See this is what I’m talking about!” The man said as he stood up with you and Katsuki. “This is that exact fire that Y/N lacks!”

“Oh I’ll show you fire!” You said as you went to jump the man but before you got a chance Bakugou was quick to grab you and throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He turned to the man and apologized and created a casual conversation as you hung from his shoulders, fist-pumping with the crowd as they cheered on your alias name.

“Goodnight everyone!” Bakugou screamed as he ran off with you and out of the building. He took you home and you both had to take a breather from the insane night.

—

“Baby?” Bakugou screamed into your dorm room as he couldn’t find you. He just got back from a training session in the forest with Aizawa and had been looking for you all day. He just wants to see his teddy bear.

“Baby?” Checked the common rooms..nothing.

“Babyyy?” Checked the kitchens...nope.

“Y/N?” Checked the school..not here either.

“Teddy Bear?” Checked the gym..you already know. Bakugou got tired and went to the rooftop.

“TEDDY BEAARRRRRRRR!!!!” He screamed to the world. He still got nothing but then he heard feet running up the stairs and the door bust open. He turned in hopes of it being his loving girlfriend but instead he saw his 4 friends.

“BAKUGOU! SHUT UP!” They all screamed at him.

“Oh shut up idiots! I’m trying to find my girlfriend here!” Bakugou said and as he was getting ready to yell again, the Bakusquad shut him up and dragged him to his dorm room.

“Did you check there?!” Mina asked and she and the rest of the squad walked away. Bakugou walked in and saw you peacefully sleeping in his bed and out of nowhere his annoyed thoughts all left him as he smiled at your slumbering state. He took off his bags and shoes as he jumped into bed with you and smothered your face in quick kisses.

You finally woke up to the ticklish feeling of your loving boyfriend and giggled as he assaulted you with his love. “Hey baby, what’s up?”

“I’ve been looking for you Princess,” Bakugou said as his lips were on your cheek. His face was smooshed into yours as he inhaled your sweet scent. He loved it here.

“You need something, love?” You asked as you turned to face him. You watched as Bakugou just nodded his head and poked his lips out. Yes. Bakugou Katsuki did all that searching and yelling for a single peck on the lips from you. It was all he craved for and he was gonna get it. You smiled as you rolled your eyes and gave in. The sweet peck was enough to make Bakugou combust as he sighed in satisfaction and flopped onto his bed, bringing you down with you him.

“Thank you!” He said with shut eyes and a contempt smile.

“Sure babe, anytime,” you said as you cuddled into him and drifted back off to sleep. Katsuki following you, dreaming about giving you even more kisses.

—

Y/N had been meditating. Due to her quirk, it was good that she’d get some R&R during these peaceful and quiet states. Until her boyfriend walked in. Bakugou Katsuki, who is very much the opposite of peaceful and quiet.

“Baby?” He asked. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He said with a pretty chirpy attitude and a small smile.

“Go away,” you smiled sweetly at him for a second before turning back around.

“THAT’S JUST MEAN!”

—

A/N: idk I thought this was cute :/

[wosoimagines]

The Secret Is Out - Jill Roord/Reader

prompt: hi um could you maybe just maybe do a jill roord x reader where the reader plays for arsenal and the uswnt and they win the world cup and no one knows they’re dating and the r or jill accidentally like do something? idk if that makes sense but if you dont want to that’s perfectly fine! hope you are doing well! all love. Okay, look. There are some Dutch translations here. I don’t know if they’re right because I used google translate. If they are wrong and you speak Dutch, please tell me so I can fix them.

warnings: None.

words: 1919

(Y/N) POV

I cheered as soon as the final whistle blew. I had finally done it. I had finally won my first World Cup. After being one of the last players passed over during the 2015 World Cup, it felt amazing to win now in 2019 and to be such a big reason as to why we won.

Although I was happy, there was a part of me that knew that I had ruined a World Cup run for one of the most important people in my life. I immediately looked to search for the Dutch woman who had stole my heart. My smile fell a little at the heartbroken look on her face.

I caught her eye and she smiled at me. I went to move toward her, but before I could, someone had jumped on my back cheering. I wasn’t surprised that it was Sonnett. Lindsey, of course, joined where Sonnett was and Mal and Rose weren’t far behind her. 

Jill shook her head and it did hurt a little that she didn’t want me to join her. But I understood. My team wanted to celebrate and Jill probably just wanted to be with her teammates right now. I glanced to see how Danielle and Viv were as well as Sari. I wasn’t surprised when I watched Jill go join Viv. I knew that the two of them were really close.

Lindsey managed to wrangle Sonnett off my back just before Rose and Mal threw confetti on top of me. I grinned at them as I shook my head to get the few that stuck to my head off of me. I was a little surprised that it was Tierna who had dragged me back to where the team was celebrating on the pitch. I wasn’t too surprised when Christen and Tobin immediately joined me considering that they were my team moms.

We eventually were given our medals and I was a little surprised to find that I had won the bronze boot along with the bronze ball. I had taken a picture of the awards with Megan and Alex since they both won awards as well. I couldn’t help it as my attention was drawn to Jill. I was able to eventually hand my awards off so that they would make it back to the hotel.

Christen and Tobin had stopped me when I moved to go over to Jill. They both congratulated me and I had thanked them. I knew that I would never be the player I was without them taking me under their wing and helping me. I eventually was able to get past them and to the Dutch midfielder that I had been trying to get to.

“Hey,” I softly said.

Jill smiled at me even through her tears. I immediately hugged her. Jill held on tightly to me. The past two months had been hard for both of us to be so close to each other but not able to see each other.

“I’m proud of you,” Jill mumbled into my neck. I pulled back from her and smiled at her. “I’m really proud. I want your jersey.”

“You want to swap?”

The fact that Jill wanted to swap our jerseys even though they would end up at my apartment in London soon enough confused me. Everyone knew that Jill had signed with Arsenal, and while a lot of her stuff was at the apartment, we didn’t have time to unpack it before the two of us had left for the World Cup.

“No, I just want your jersey eventually,” Jill shook her head. I still wasn’t sure what she wanted it for.

“It’s probably going to smell like alcohol after tonight,” I chuckled. I knew that my jersey was probably going to get soaked in alcohol as soon as we entered the locker room.

“(Y/N)!”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Sonnett running toward me with a grin and a white jersey in her hand. Sonnett stopped beside Jill and I before holding the jersey out to me.

“Dude, they got us these cool jerseys,” Sonnett immediately started to say. I knew that if I didn’t get her to leave soon then I wouldn’t get to talk to Jill until after we left the arena. “There’s one for all of us.”

“Cool,” I said as I took the jersey. I glanced at Jill who looked ready to leave.

“Ik bel je later,” Jill muttered causing me to grab on her wrist. (I will call you later.)

“Nee wacht. Geef me een moment om van haar af te komen,” I said causing Sonnett to look surprised at the fact that I knew Dutch. Jill looked surprised that I was willing to get rid of my teammate. (No, wait. Give me just a moment to get rid of her.)

“Can you make sure that there’s some actual beer saved for me to drink and not to just spray around everywhere?” I asked Sonnett.

The defender immediately perked at the mention of beer. Sonnett nodded before rushing off to make sure we had beer to drink. I turned back to Jill before pulling my game jersey off.

“Here, this way I can’t lose it cause you know I lose everything,” I said. Jill chuckled a little at the before taking the jersey from me. 

I saw Jill’s eyes wander down to my waist and she smiled at the new tattoo that I had. I hadn’t shown her yet due to the fact that I had gotten it just after Jill had left to join her own national team and I wanted Jill to see it in person rather than as a picture.

“You actually got it,” Jill whispered.

“Yeah, I did,” I nodded. Jill touched the tattoo and lightly traced it. “Your handwriting and all. I figured it was appropriate since you were the one who started to call me Schatje.” (Little treasure.)

I pulled the jersey Sonnett had given me over my head. I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone from my team was going to come to drag me away. I wasn’t too surprised that Christen and Tobin were headed my way, but I was surprised by the fact that the whole team was headed here. I looked back at Jill.

“I know we said we didn’t want to go public with our relationship until we got into a groove with both of us being at Arsenal, but my teammates got their kisses from their partners and, it’s been a while-”

I couldn’t finish what I was saying because Jill had pulled me closer to her. I immediately kissed the Dutch player back when I felt her lips crash into mine. I ignored the cheers and shouts behind me, but apparently Jill didn’t because she pulled back not long after. Jill glanced behind me before giving me a kiss by my ear.

“Go join your teammates. I have a room for us at a different hotel where we can have our own little party after you guys get done.”

My jaw slacked but I didn’t have time to say anything to Jill because she had already turned and ran to join her own teammates. I felt someone sling their arm around my shoulder.

“Way to get some, (Y/N),” Ash cheered right in my ear. I wasn’t too surprised that Ali slapped the back of Ash’s head causing the goalie to grumble and rub the back of her head. 

“Hey, Roord!” I called out. Jill turned around to look at me. “Ik hou van je, lieverd.” (I love you, sweetheart.)

“Ik hou ook van je.” (I love you too.)

“Oi, (Y/N)! What about me?”

I shook my head at Danielle. She often teased me over the past two years whenever Jill would call me since we were in different countries. But Danielle had been ready to throw hands for me many times during our matches for Arsenal. 

“Je bent zo behoeftig,” I complained. Danielle threw a glare at me and I laughed at her. “Ik hou ook van jou, kleine krijger.” (You’re so needy. I love you as well, little warrior.)

Danielle smirked at that and I saw her turn to brag about it to Jill. I only shook my head at them before turning to my teammates. I swiped the beer from Kelley’s hand before she could drink from it. Before the older defender could do anything, Christen and Tobin had already moved to my sides probably to talk to me about the relationship I had with Jill. I couldn’t help but smile as I told them about the Dutch woman who had stolen my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grinned as Jill came out of the bathroom. I was already dressed since I was having to leave today to head to the US for our celebration. Jill was going to take her time, however, since her team wouldn’t be flying out until much later. Jill was dressed in one of my oversized shirts and a pair of shorts.

“What are you smiling about?”

“How lucky I am,” I said as I stood up from the foot of the bed. “I mean, I just won the World Cup and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life is still here even though she’s the one I had to beat to win the World Cup.”

“You want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“I mean, yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Jill, I’ve been dating you for 3 years now. If I didn’t seriously see us together for the rest of my life, then I wouldn’t still be with you. One day, I’m going to marry you.”

“I also can’t believe you would think that I would leave you because you beat me for the World Cup,” Jill shook her head. She pressed a kiss to my lips. “I can’t wait for you to make me yours forever.”

I grinned as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I wished we could stay like this forever. But sadly we couldn’t. I did have a plane to catch soon.

“I’ll see you in London?”

“Of course you will,” Jill nodded. Jill pulled back from me before digging through her bag. “I have something for you. I was going to wait until we got back to London, but I might as well give it to you now.”

I took the little black box from her and smiled. I opened the box and chuckled when I saw the ring. The ring was a simple silver band with a designed etched into it. I slid the ring onto my finger before pulling my own small black box from my bag.

“I kind of got you one too,” I said as Jill took the box from me. “We were shopping for a ring for Tobin to give to Christen and I wanted to do something special for you. I’m not asking you to marry me, but this is a promise that I will marry you one day.”

Jill grinned before she kissed me. I smiled when she pulled back.

“I’ll see you in London, okay?”

The Dutch woman gave me one last kiss before I grabbed my bags and headed out of the room. I gave her a small wave just before I closed the door behind me. I couldn’t wait for the celebrations to be over and to be on a plane back to London.

[leviskitten]

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ♡

Bruno Bucciarati x reader(gn)

Warnings: general nsfw themes, nothing dark so dw.

A/n: and anotha one, but this time it’s my baby boy bruno 🥰🥰 (ps. I have a one-shot of him coming up soon but for now enjoy this).

Original template

♡彡 A = Aftercare : What are they like after sex?

• Ok but hear me out, he’s the KING of aftercare and you cannot convince me otherwise.

He would run you a bath, and bathe you as well (unless you don’t want him to, in that case he’ll give you your space). Then he’d gently cuddle with you in his probably way too big bed and caress you until you fall sleep. Or would bring you some water and snacks so you don’t go to bed with an empty stomach 🥺

♡彡 B = Body : What’s their favorite body part of theirs? And yours?

• He likes his legs probably. I headcannon that he has ~gorgeous legs, so he probably likes them a lot.

On you, he doesn’t really have a favorite body part. I feel like he’d be the type of guy to love you as a whole, and doesn’t really notice details like that. But if you really want an answer, then I guess it’ll be your hands or something like that.

♡彡 C = Cum : Anything to do with cum basically.

• Idk why, but I feel like he cums a lot. Like, he shoots massive loads each time he cums. Which would probably be the main reason of why he’s not a big fan of cumming more than twice. And it would also be reason why he insists on cumming on you a lot of times.

Now don’t get me wrong, he loves the feeling of cumming in you and filling you up to the brim. But there’s just something in seeing you covered in his massive loads that just makes him go all fuzzy and 🥰🥰

♡彡 D = Dirty Secret : Share a dirty secret of theirs.

• He really wants to have a threesome with you and Abbachio.

He thought of it once randomly and now the scenario just keeps floating in his mind ever since. And he has a hard time trying not to stare everytime you and Abbachio interact.

Just the thought of you messy with his lipstick while both of them fuck you relentlessly makes him feel lightheaded.

♡彡 E = Experience : How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?

• He probably had a little bit of prior experience, however it doesn’t really matter, because he knows what he likes and how to get it (while giving you what you want as well of course). So he definitely knows what he’s doing, don’t worry about it.

♡彡 F = Favorite Position : Self explanatory

• Not to be basic, but probably missionary or mating press.

I feel like he’s more of a soft service dom (who would sub or turn into a hard dom if asked), and a little bit of a classic romantic, so he probably likes to go at it soft and slow, for which missionary and mating press are prefect for.

♡彡 G = Goofy : How serious are they during the moment? Do they like to joke around?

• He’s probably really serious and focused on the moment, however if you laugh or joke at something and he finds it funny too, he would laugh, tho he’ll try to brush it off and go back at it again smh.

♡彡 H = Hair : How well groomed are they? Does the carpet matches the drapes?

• Oh he’s extremely well groomed down there, and everywhere else really.

Either completely shaved, or well trimmed, and would never EVER smell bad. He likes to take care of himself, so you would never catch this man slippin when it comes to that. (And yes ofc the carpet matches the drapes he has black hair lol).

♡彡 I = Intimacy : How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.

• Oh he loooves to be really intimate. Calling you sweet italian nicknames, praising you on how good you feel/how good you respond to him, kissing you constantly, grabbing your hands, etc.

And yes, he does tells you he loves you right after you both cum. It’s almost mandatory.

♡彡 J = Jack off : Masturbation headcannon.

• He doesn’t masturbate that often, but when he does, he likes to do it in the shower. Mainly so he can feel extra relaxed once he comes out of it.

♡彡 K = Kink : One or more of their kinks

• He’s fairly kinky, surprisingly, though he has a soft approach with them. Anyways, here’s a little list:

— Choking, finger sucking, praise (for both ways please 🥺), hair tugging (on him), spit (will spit on your mouth, no questions asked), anything to do with mirrors (main reason why he has a giant mirror somewhere in his room), LINGERIE (on both you and himself), edging maybe, cum play, pet play, and biting.

♡彡 L = Location : Favorite place to do it.

• Either his room, or his office. Probably his room the most, he likes the privacy and intimacy of it. However he can’t deny that the thrill of getting caught in his office is kinda hot.

♡彡 M = Motivation : What turns them on/keep them going?

• Knowing that you’re enjoying it too.

I feel like he’s a very giving person, so there’s nothing better for him than to know that you’re feeling as good as him, specially knowing that it’s him who’s making you feel like this.

Praise him and tell him that he’s doing amazing please 🥺🥺

♡彡 N = No : Something that they wouldn’t do/turn off’s

• Probably anything extremely rough, like impact play or heavy heavy degradation.

He already sees enough violence on the daily, there’s no need to bring it into the bedroom too.

♡彡 O = Oral : Preference on giving/receiving, skill, etc.

• Again, he’s a soft/service dom. Which means that he can and will eat you out as much as he likes only to make you feel good/show his appreciation.

However he does enjoy the blowjobs from under his desk while he works a little bit too much.

♡彡 P = Pace : Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc

• He likes to go at it slow and steady most of the time. Peppering you with kisses and whispering sweet stuff on your ear while he does it.

But he would speed it up or go a little bit more rough if you want him to. All you gotta do is ask~

♡彡 Q = Quickie : Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.

• Not a big fan tbh.

He likes to take his time with you, so unless it’s a quick blowjob under his desk or something similar then don’t even bother to bring it up (mainly because he would tease you gently and make you wait until you both have enough time to actually do something about it).

♡彡 R = Risk : Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc.

• He’s willing to take a few risks, if he thinks the cause for them is good enough. And he’s pretty open to experiment new stuff, as long as it’s not something extremely violent or rough.

♡彡 S = Stamina : How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?

• To be honest, he can go for as many rounds as you want him to. Like I said earlier, he likes to take his time with you, so naturally, he does have the stamina to be able to do that lol.

♡彡 T = Toys : Do they own toys? Do they use them? On themselves or his partner?

• He owns a few toys, but mainly to use them on you. Like a couple of different vibrators, or buttplugs, etc. Though if you want to use them on him then he wouldn’t necessarily complain lol.

♡彡 U = Unfair : How much do they like to tease?

• Look, he might be soft and all. But this mf will tease the hell out of you when he’s bored.

I’m talking about secretly touching you under the table during a meeting, whispering dirty stuff on your ear as he passes by, taking you to a secret corner while you guys are doing something important just to have a little make out session and touch you just to leave you hanging. And stuff like that.

♡彡 V = Volume : How loud are they? What sounds do they make? Etc.

• He’s not that loud, but he does make a lot of pretty sounds.

Grunts and deep moans while he fucks you, also panting. Will moan while giving you head, or while kissing. And the only time when you’ll get to see him whiny and flustered is when you give him a blowjob, idk why.

♡彡 W = Wild card : A random headcannon for the character.

• At some point of your relationship he will get you a matching lingerie set like the one he wears under his suit. And yes, he’ll make you wear it constantly, specially if he can see bits of it through your outfit. He thinks it’s cute lol.

♡彡 X = X-Ray : Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes

• His dick is a little darker than the rest of his body, like, it’s tanned almost. And he’s cut, for sure. Probably average length, but it’s more on the thicker side, and it’s quite veiny tbh.

♡彡 Y = Yearning : How high it their sex drive?

• Meh, it’s pretty regular. He’s not that much of a horny bastard, but he still likes to do it once a week or something just because he can (and if you’re up for it of course).

♡彡 Z = Zzz : How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards.

• He does get a little more sleepy after it, but he doesn’t fall asleep that quickly. Which is why he mainly likes to make sure you’re doing alright afterwards and just treat you some more.

[parrishh]

i'm like, 90% sure all of the anons in my inbox right now are actually the same person so, if that's you, i'm just going to answer all of your mister impossible questions in this post since there are a lot of them and this is going to be really very extremely long

"Wait what why is Jordan awake?"/"Is the sweetmetal of declans picture helping jordan stay awake?"

i don't know why she's awake but i don't think it's the painting, because at the end of the book she's outside declan's apartment, not her own. i guess it's possible that she succeeded in making the painting a sweetmetal powerful enough to sustain her even there, but i feel like there's probably a different explanation. i've seen theories that she's inadvertently made herself into a sweetmetal by finally seeing herself as her own person rather than just a copy of hennessy, which is interesting

"And the things about the ley line Idgi? Hennessy wants to stop the power but for what"

i think hennessy thinks shutting down the ley line is the best (or even only) way to get rid of the lace. she hates herself for the lace to the extent that she doesn't even want to live anymore, so of course that's her primary motivation. she feels hopeless so long as the lace has power. she's desperate

"Why did he think adam was in on declans plan? I think the "oh" was more like oh you want to come with bryde of course...."

the "oh" is in response to ronan saying "i'm calling now. i need to see you", before there's even any mention of bryde. adam says "you're here? oh", not "you're here? why are you here?" the fact that he didn't ask why ronan was in town, the fact that he said an "oh" of realization instead, implied that he already knew why ronan was in town. and he could have only known by speaking to declan. i think it was a reasonable conclusion on ronan's part

"Ronan are you being serious????? Why should Adam/Declan drop everything and come fight with you - they didnt even know where you are, they don't know the plan. Then you accuse them of that Moderators plan without questioning them. And I mean, yes, Ronan is easily manipulated and he thinks everyone is against them and Bryde is the only one who cares but come on!!!!!!! Seriously, doesn't he get that he might be in the wrong????"

i mean, i think you hit the nail on the head when you said "he thinks everyone is against them." for a long time, he's been struggling with feeling alone, like he's a burden, like the people he loves don't really understand him. he's never had a healthy relationship with another dreamer, so it makes sense that he feels so isolated from literally everyone he cares about. and now he just found out two of the most important people in his life went behind his back to conspire against him (even if he doesn't have confirmation about adam, declan does admit to it over the phone) which is just...salt on a wound he's had since he was a kid. i'm not saying he's in the right, but i do understand why his immediate reaction was what it was. when you've been hurt like that, it takes some time before you can like, calm down and reconsider your own role in the situation

"Ronan basically dreamt Bryde in his worst dream right? Why does he still trust him"

i mean, i don't know how much we can believe what bryde says, but when he reveals himself as being ronan's dream he basically says that everything that he (bryde) wants, ronan already subconsciously wanted before he even dreamt him. that bryde wants it because ronan wanted it. to admit that bryde is in the wrong, ronan would have to admit he, himself, is in the wrong, too, and that's not easy. especially because a lot of his motivation is saving matthew and not wanting to live with the weight of matthew's life on his conscious anymore. especially because he's felt alone for so long, and now he just found out the first dreamer to truly make him feel less alone is his own creation. he's hurting. a lot. he will admit to being wrong in the third book, i think, but like i mentioned above, that kind of growth takes some time

"I think Ronan actually doubts Brydes plan too bc he thinks stuff like people built the dam, there are living things here, it cost a fortune..... and i personally never see a purpose in what they're doing bc bryde never tells them and ronan obviously doesn't know or he thinks he doesnt. I think he doesnt and he just trudts bryde blindly for now and his insecurities aka bryde take over and rule over ronan. Thoughts?"

i mean, i think ronan sees the purpose. here are his thoughts, directly quoted from chapter 17 when bryde is talking about restoring the ley lines:

"A world where Matthew could just live. A world where Ronan could just dream. A world where every dream was clear and crisp and easy to navigate, so there were never accidents or nightmares. He wanted it."

he wants, as i mentioned above, for matthew's life to not be reliant on his own (which i understand. that's a really heavy knowledge to live with.) he also just wants to be able to exist wherever he wants and with whomever he wants (thinking, for example, about how he wasn't able to get an apartment in boston in cdth), without constantly worrying that the nightwash is going to kill him. poor guy just wants a normal life

"Also did we ever actually see bryde get something out of a dream? Most work did Ronan"

this is interesting. now that you mention it, i don't think we do. supposedly he dreams the orbs, but i can't recall ever seeing that happen? i could be wrong, though

"And why is the nightwash mostly ronans problem? I mean hennessy and rhionna (?) had it very little and who knows if the other dreamers have it"

i think ronan is a much, much more powerful dreamer than any of the others. there's something...More about him. something special about being the greywaren. i don't know what it is, specifically, but i anticipate that's something we'll find out in the final book, and i expect it'll explain why the nightwash affects him more than it does the others

"Who the hell dreamt the mods"

i don't know! i think the most popular theory right now is that it was nathan farooq-lane. i'm not sure how that works, though, since they killed nathan and bryde took the sweetmetal off of lock pretty early in the book (unless nathan isn't actually dead, somehow) (or bryde is nathan, which is another popular theory). another theory is that it was ronan. like, he was feeling so alone and misunderstood that he accidentally dreamt his own persecutors? or it's possible that they were all just dreamt by random dreamers and that's why they felt strongly enough about the "cause" to become moderators, but that's kind of boring

"And why are R B and H so dangerous? Bc of what they're doing?"

yeah, and, i mean, according to liliana's visions, they have the power to end the world

"Can I point out that Idk what everyone is talking about, I dont get pynch possible breakup vibes at all from this book"/"Am I trippin or did I read another book? Because some fellas say there's no pynch"

i think when people say there's no pynch, they just mean that there's very minimal pynch interaction, specifically. because, yeah, even though they're both constantly thinking about each other, it is true that we only get one moment of them actually interacting (the phone call), and it's obviously not a positive interaction

i don't think anyone actually thinks they'll break up. at least, i haven't seen anyone say that and i've been feverishly reading everything under the mister impossible tag, so

"What struck me as really odd was that Adam bought this stupid 14$ waffle which he would have never done a few months back and I dont think he would do it now? 14$ is a lot of money esp for a waffle so why spend it on something as useless as this? And why do the others need Adams money? Are they all on scholarships? Was it just bc he had cash and the others didnt? And why is he treating them like his followers and they treat him as their guardian or whatever like he clearly needs to be honest with them"

okay, first off, i will say, as someone who grew up poor and, like adam, absolutely busted my ass in high school to get a good scholarship so i could go to college, the relief of actually getting that scholarship is...powerful. my financial anxiety definitely didn't disappear once that happened, but there was, at least in my experience, this feeling of "i made it, it's going to be okay now" that made it a little easier to spend money. i don't think it's that unrealistic that he, now having the security of a harvard education, would spend fourteen dollars on something he doesn't need every once in a while. it would be completely out of character for henrietta adam, yes, but it's a bit different now. plus, it wouldn't suit his faux Harvard Adam persona to refuse the waffle because of how much it costs

i think his friends are all a lot more well-off than he is. it was just that they didn't have any cash on them and the waffle truck didn't take card (also realistic, i never have cash on me so i always have to ask someone to spot me when a place turns out to be cash-only)

i think (a) they all look up to him because he has this really calm, cool and collected persona. more importantly, we can assume that they were all struggling with something when he met each of them, since they were all crying. now in swoops this guy who saw them upset and came to comfort and befriend them. of course they see him as something like a hero. and (b) i think he likes that. in high school, he was the one being rescued, not the one rescuing. i think he enjoys being the kind of person he used to wish he could be (ie. gansey. he's being gansey)

"I thought it a bit funny in a weird way that Declan talked about marrying Jordan…I can't imagine he was being too serious about it?"

no, i mean, i don't think he was literally proposing, not yet. he's just really happy for the first time in a long time (maybe ever) and, after a lifetime of pain and trauma and more responsibility than he ever signed up for, i don't blame him for wanting that feeling to last forever, even if he's not really thinking clearly

"Also I think it's amazing they make each other so happy but the ending makes me a bit sad or surprised bc shouldn't Matthew be his nr1 priority now?"

we only have jordan's perspective at the end, so when she thinks that it was clear declan had come out of his apartment looking for her, i don't think that necessarily means he wasn't also looking for matthew. i don't think it's fair to say that, in that moment, he should prioritize either matthew or jordan. he loves two dreams, so he can and should be concerned for both of them equally. i don't think one love is inherently more important than the other just because it's lasted longer or because it's family

[liquidstar]

OK so I HAVE to know why everyone is apart of this new villain group/forum. Obviously Saffron was raised into it because of Oleander (that bitch), but what about the others? Like Daffodil and Silene just give me the vibe that they don't really realize the terrible extent of what they're involving themselves in? Those two feel like they stick around because their bad habits/perceptions are enabled by the older ones, but idk! I really cant wrap my head around these guys.

YEAH OFC TY FOR ASKING!

Silene and Daffodil are both kids that are a lot more impressionable than the others (Saffron and Dianella are both teens too but they’re on the older side) but it also stems from different places for both of them, Daffodil basically turned to their little forum because it was the perfect place to stroke his own ego, he sees it as a place to turn to to feel superior, he’s the type of person to end up on r/iamverysmart. Silene on the other hand is a kid who has no real adults in their life to look up to and no real life friends, and they’re also a bored kid on the internet that just sort of found a place where they could feel like a part or something, it just ended up being a bad thing. Like you said their bad habits really are enabled by the others and Seline especially doesn’t know any better.

Ibris and Angelonia are also similar in the way they joined, because they were both shut-ins and considered themselves outcasts from society, a big difference is Angelonia saw it as a way to reinvent herself and create a better sort of internet persona, while Ibris saw it as a way to sink further into his own isolation and depression, that’s all he ever does anymore.

Erica sort of joined because she was bored of her job and bored of her life too, she was never really a social outcast though she’s just sort of… bored. And that boredom led her down a bit of a rabbithole. Agapy is pretty similar as another working adult who just sort of stumbled down the wrong path online since her own life wasn’t headed the way she wanted it to.

Of course Orlender started the whole thing himself, though it’s important to note that he started the organization not the whole Crocus sympathizing mentality that for sure existed online before him which was what he was banking on when he started it. His fascination with it stemmed before that though,  he has an immense greed for power and control, he sees Crocus as the pinnacle of that so the idea of harboring that power is something that he practically fetishizes, not in a sexual sense but in the sense that when it comes to it he has immense tunnel vision, he wants it.

And the product of that was Saffron, the thing about Saffron’s monster magic is that humans are NOT meant to have that type of magic, monsters are soulless creatures that collide with their nature and will devour their souls, that’s why Saffron is special, and that’s why Saffron is in so much distress. The only reason he has this magic was because it was literally forced onto him by Orlender, who’s magic includes the ability to transfer and bestow other types of magic (usually in one swoop but for monster magic it is.. a long and painful process). Of course Saffron was led to believe that this was actually because he was special, and that any horrible treatment is necessary. But this is just a roundabout way for Orlender to have this power, since in his eyes Saffron is like his possession anyway. That will for sure bite him in the ass later on don’t worry.

And very last is Dianella, who also tried to copy monster magic using her own mimicry magic only to be met with disastrous consequences, and she’s seen as a failure for it. She sees Saffron as everything she could have been (Without realizing what he’s been through for it) and feels jealous of him. But it’s not just him, she’s always been very alone her whole life, and she’s jealous of everyone, what led her to the others is that desire for connection, but she can’t help but feel disconnected regardless, because of her envy. So she desires to have that power too, not realizing that that’s not really what she wants.

[purplesurveys]

1216

1. Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? I think I was just taking my morning shower.

2. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Berns, an orgmate of mine. Idk, we’re not close so the last time I saw was definitely before the pandemic. 

3. If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? I just wouldn’t share too much.

4. What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? Surprisingly enough I had food this noon! Bea sent over a box of pizza...there was no occasion, so I really appreciated the gesture.

5. Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? Nah. I want to be alone right now, so that’s working out well for me.

6. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? I don’t have a significant other.

7. If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? It’s definitely not on most karaoke machines but I would for sure pick UGH! by BTS.

8. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? Maybe a month or so ago. I had daily headaches back when I had to work without glasses.

9. What time is it now? Are you tired? 8:19 PM. I’m pretty awake, but I’m emotionally exhausted. I went downstairs for dinner in an upbeat mood even though I was left tired from work, only to be greeted by really bitter and stressed vibes from my parents. I tried to be really cheery the whole time, but all their replies were just laced with annoyance or unenthusiasm. It was so fucking draining. I get that we have our off days, but I really wish people didn’t take out or spread their bad vibes to other people, much less their kids. Anyway, I feel less happy now and I feel that’s so unfair.

10. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? I never wear makeup :/ I put some on myself for the first time in YEARS last week for an important virtual event, and tbh I surprised myself with how decent my work on myself was since I didn’t know the first thing about makeup. I still don’t know how I pulled it off but at least I now know I could actually give it a shot and not have it turn out horribly.

11. What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? I would be very...confused? They’re worlds away from each other.

12. The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? No.

13. Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? My mom got me a foldable laptop stand that I could use in bed; my dad got me a pair of socks he knew I’d like.

14. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? Because I felt like I could help her and save her.

30. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? No, and I don’t think I would tolerate that shit either.

31. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I’m still in the phase of not wanting to be with someone else. I was involved with the person for a really long time; and it feels genuinely nice to be by myself for now.

32. Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? I don’t think so, no.

33. How many guys do you know named Matthew? A couple.

34. Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? I feel like she would if I reached out. But she would also probably just offer ‘help’ I didn’t need since her go-to advice for everything is to just pray.

35. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Angela and Reena in our little groupchat, I think. We were just talking about BTS since that’s the purpose of our chat anyway. 

36. Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? I cried over a boy band’s song like 10 minutes ago, does that count?

37. Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? Mmh, not really.

38. If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? No. Sex doesn’t really mean a lot to me.

39. In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? I feel like a crush for the most part just refers to physical attraction, like fantasizing about kissing or cuddling them or whatnot. Obviously being in love goes beyond that.

40. Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? She has three of these letters in her whole name, but none in her nickname.

41. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? Pizza.

42. What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? I don’t even remember.

43. Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? Andi, I think. Black/dark brown.

44. If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? Oyn.

45. Name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up. I’d be devastated if I had to give up any of these: my dogs and my friends.

Life would suck if I lost these but the world wouldn’t end: coffee, movies, writing, traveling, the internet.

46. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? Someone who doesn’t know jackshit about lighting. Yes, they would be correct.

47. You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? My mom.

48. Choose 5 friends, and talk briefly about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last? I wouldn’t talk about someone else’s personal life on here.

49. Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. No? I don’t understand why it’s wrong. Life turns out that way for some people, and if it also turns out to last, then all the better for them.

50. Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? Erm...the weekend? Hahaha.

[ehstarwar]

flesh stays no farther reason (1/6)

Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

-

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5K

Read on AO3

Notes: 

my brain at 2a.m., assuring me that it'll be a one-shot: for the lady, perhaps a salad?

me, 5,000+ words in and only on their first meeting: [chuckling] perhaps not

-

1

what's to come is still unsure

She sees it on Reddit.

She doesn’t normally scroll through the website (certainly not subreddits like this) but she’s bored and can only take the same Buzzfeed quizzes so many times.

She’s not sure what led her to this page, how the rabbit hole of the internet made her search r/mseekingfcorusant but here she was, scrolling through the disjointed thoughts of horny guys in her area.

Posted by u/droidwrangerl88

need hot girl to bang. serious inquiries only.

Posted by u/mycumtastelikesarlacc

Any girls in the Coruscant area looking to hook up this evening? 38M seeking mid-20sF. Will split hotel bill.

Posted by u/hotbountyhunter3483

any females interested in shredded guy for an evening? willing to meet for drinks b4 hand, and will pay for ur drinks if ur hot. (943) 349-9684 ;)

Rey finds it consistently astonishing how gross and vulgar men can be when hidden behind a screen. But she is scrolling on this page out of her own free will, so it does seem a little ‘pot-calling-the-kettle-black-ish.’ Just as her finger goes to press back to the home-screen, a tiny blue bubble appears at the top of the page, indicating that there has been a new post made. Great, she thinks, another horny creep trying to entice young women to hop into bed with them for roughly 30 seconds.

She reads the post anyways.

Posted by u/KyL0_R3N

31M seeking similarly aged F for the evening of 05/17. I have an important meeting on the 18th and sex the night before proves to a good luck charm for me. Nothing too crazy or obscene, fairly vanilla to start off with, but willing to go further based on her desires.

Something in Rey clenches.

It’s by far the most eloquently phrased way of asking for sex that she’s seen thus far. He seems straightforward, which is refreshing, but she knows that the best of psychopaths are good at hiding their true intention.

She clicks to his profile.

He seems interested in pretty common threads. Cooking tips, best laundromats in Coruscant, Galaxy Battles discourse; all innocuous and nothing to indicate he would chop up whoever responds to his post. Maybe that’s why she sends him a message.

From u/R3yoflight

why not just download tinder?

everyone on tinder is looking for sex too.

She bites her lip as she presses send. It’s not the best conversation starter, she’s aware, but their semi-introduction was from him posting about wanting to have sex to preform well in a meeting. Formalities can be forgone, in this particular situation. It’s not like she’s trying to impress him either; she didn’t message him to accept is offer, just merely because she’s curious.

There’s a pang of nervousness when she hears the notification sound out that he’s responded.

From u/KyL0_R3N

There’s too much preamble on dating apps.

Also, I’m looking to have sex, not to date.

It seemed more advantageous

to be straightforward.

From u/R3yoflight

hmmmm

i guess that makes sense

(also advantageous is worth 17 points in

scrabble, so kudos)

have you gotten many interested respondents?

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’re the first.

From u/R3yoflight

who says i’m interested???

From u/KyL0_R3N

Well, you are the one who messaged me?

Also, my post has been up for only a few minutes,

so you’re the first respondent in any capacity.

From u/R3yoflight

oooohhh i feel special ☺️✨

From u/KyL0_R3N

You’ve yet to tell me if you’re interested.

Is she?

Is she really considering letting Mr. KyL0_R3N fuck her after meeting him through a publicly placed internet post and knowing next to nothing about him?

From u/R3yoflight

maybe??

idk v much abt u yet

how do i know ur not a serial killer

or that u actually are who u say u are

which u haven’t yet

said who u are, that is

From u/KyL0_R3N

I’m  31M. I work in Coruscant at a tech company.

I’m 6’3, 190lbs. I’m not a killer in any capacity.

You haven’t told me anything about yourself,

which hardly seems fair.

From u/R3yoflight

24F, 5’6, i’m not telling u my weight

i work at an auto shop downtown so i can

kick ur ass if ur lying abt not being a killer

From u/KyL0_R3N  

In order to kick my ass, we’d have to meet.

So, are you interested or not?

From u/R3yoflight

i shouldn’t be

From u/KyL0_R3N

I have the distinct feeling that you are.

Am I right?

From u/R3yoflight

...

yeah

-

He tells her his name is Kylo Ren, which she thinks sounds stupid and made up, but doesn’t press him. They hammer out some more details, agreeing to meet at the bar of a swanky hotel downtown first, and if all goes well, he’ll have a room reserved for them.

When she tells him that she can’t afford to pay any of the room, he dismisses her flippantly with a quick ‘I’ll take care of it’ that makes her chest feel tight.

They don’t talk much after that, only a message from her a few days before hand, making sure the plan was still on, and an affirmative from his side. But a few hours before they’re supposed to meet up, Rey gets a notification from him. It distracts her from the task at hand (precision shaving of her legs and… other parts), causing a knick on the back of her calf.

From u/KyL0_R3N

While I don’t think that we’ll be doing

anything that would require

a safe word, I’d like to have one in case.

From u/R3yoflight

i’ve never had a safe word.

what’s a good one?

From u/KyL0_R3N

It doesn’t have to be anything special.

We can stick to a traditional scale.

Green means you’re good.

Yellow means slow down.

Red means to stop entirely.

Does that work?

From u/R3yoflight

yeah thats good

why don’t you think that we won’t be doing

anything to justify a safe word?

you planning to go easy on me 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

That depends, sweetheart.

How far are you willing to go?

Rey thinks for a moment. She should have some hard lines set, especially since he’s a total stranger. In fact, she shouldn’t be fucking a stranger at all. But she was in this far, so she may as well go all in.

From u/R3yoflight

i’m not super into choking but a lil breath play

is okay

no extreme bondage or degradation

maybe at some point but just… not now

anything in my ass will require a lot of work

before hand bc not much has been in there.

any hard no’s 4 u?

i’m on birth control so u can come inside me

if you want

From u/KyL0_R3N

I think we should stick to no

bondage/degradation/breath play for now

I’m not super into those anyways.

I’ll keep that in mind about your ass.

Maybe nothing in my ass. For now.

That about covers my no’s.

What are some of you hard yes’s?

From u/R3yoflight

i like being taken control of, dominated, i guess

kissing is big for me but i get it if u don’t like it

also major daddy kink but that can be

controlled if its not ur thing

what do u like

From u/KyL0_R3N

Very much yes to that Daddy kink and kissing.

I lean towards dom anyway, so that should work out.

I like hickeys. Giving and receiving.

I also have pretty good stamina, just a warning.

From u/R3yoflight

i like a man with good stamina ;)

u gonna wear me out tonight? 😈

From u/KyL0_R3N

Yes. Yes I am.

-

She gets there late. Unlike every other time she runs late for something, this time is purposeful. If he gets angry with her, she’ll know to leave. And she’s counting on that. Him giving her a reason to leave. She needs it so she doesn’t do something stupider than what she’s already doing now.

But when she arrives and see’s the absolute mammoth of a man, with long-is black hair and moles and big ears, Rey just knows she’s in for it.

He stands when he sees her. Realistically she knew that 6’3 was tall, but it’s still a bit shocking to her. One of his gargantuan hands is holding a beer, the other resting on the back of the chair. She spends a second too long admiring his form, earning a knowing-but-slight smirk from him.

“You’re Kylo.” It’s an unnecessary statement, because who else could he be, but one that is said all the same.

“And you’re Rey.”

His fucking voice. It’s too beautiful to be addressing her, she’s sure of it.

“Work ran over, that’s why I’m late.” She wasn’t going to give him an excuse, but the words fall out of her mouth.

“I’m familiar with that myself. It’s no trouble, really.” He holds the chair out for her, and she gracefully takes a seat. A server comes around and takes her drink order of a club soda before scurrying off.

“Nothing to relax the nerves?” He question, taking a sip of his drink.

“I prefer to have a clear head for…” She trails off. What does this qualify as? A hook-up? A booty-call? A job interview?

“Good girl.”

Her breath stops for a moment before she remembers its necessary to survive.

“You said you work for a tech company downtown; is it close?” She asks, hoping she sounds passive.

“Not far. I need to be close for tomorrow.” He never looks away from her; it makes her sweat.

The server comes back with her drink, and Rey takes a giant gulp, just for something to preoccupy her mouth.

“You said you work for an auto shop downtown. What do you do there?” He asks, eying her hands curiously. Rey worries that he’ll realize she wasn’t actually at work if her hands aren’t greasy, so she hides them under the table.

“I’m a mechanic,” She tells him, sitting up straighter.

“You’re…” He begins, but she cuts him off.

“A woman mechanic, yes. It’s not entirely uncommon.”

“I was going to say young.” She bites her lip. His voice doesn’t sound like its chastising her, but she feels bad all the same.

“Most men are uncomfortable with the fact that I know more about cars than them.” Rey doesn’t know why she continues to challenge him, but his reactions always surprise her.

It’s… nice.

“Do I seem like I’m uncomfortable by that?”

She regards him. “No, but you did proposition anyone with computer access, so I think your threshold for uncomfortable must be very high.”

He doesn’t laugh, per se, but the corners of his mouth lift and his cheeks become tight. She smiles at the sight.

“Seems that we’re both very bold. A female mechanic and an online propositioner. We make for quite a pair.”

“Hopefully that means the sex will be good.”

Kylo Ren does smile at that.

His hand is on the small of her back when they get in the elevator and Rey is actively trying to ignore the fluttering in her gut, which is why the words blurt out of her.

“My roommate knows where we are!” It’s a loud noise in an otherwise quiet area, but Kylo doesn’t seem startled by it. He just looks down at her. “I have to be back at the apartment, in person, by noon tomorrow or she’s calling the cops.” Rey is quieter now but her voice still shakes.

“My meeting is at 10, so you’ll have plenty of time to get back to your place. I can have my driver drop you off there, if you like,” He says.

“Thats… not why I’m telling you. But that you. I mean, my roommate will know if something bad happens to me. So it would be wise of you to not kill me.” Rey gulps.

Kylo’s hand comes to her face and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Rey.” His voice is soft. “I’m not going to kill you, or hit you, or do anything you don’t want me to do.” She’s facing him now. “If you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t be mad. You can leave whenever you want.”

“But what do you want? You’ve asked me what I’ve wanted in every interaction we’ve had, but all I know is that you want to fuck somebody so that you’re not nervous or whatever tomorrow. Do you even want me? Or was I just the first person who responded to you post? It goes both ways, ya know. You need to tell me what you want, too.”

His hand brushes the side of her jaw, his eyes trail down her face, no doubt seeing the nervous expression she wears.

“I want you, Rey.”

-

His lips are on hers the moment the door is shut. His hand cradles the back of her head as he shoves his body against hers, pinning her to the wall. His other hand grips her hip and will definitely leave a bruise. She loves it.

But his warm, wet mouth on hers with his plush, pink lips makes any coherent thought leave her head. She moans into his mouth, hands trying desperately to pop open the buttons of his shirt. She makes a sound of frustration when the last stubborn button won’t come undone, and his hands are there in an instant, ripping the thing straight off. She slides her hands along his toned chest as his tongue invades her mouth. When her hands venture further south, they find the more than impressive bulge straining against his slacks.

“I should’ve… asked you earlier…” He says into her mouth as he sucks off the remaining shirt and suit jacket, “if you… like… dirty talk.” Rey keens against him, forcing his mouth to go to her neck as she breathes out a chant of ‘yes, yes, yes.’

Kylo makes a noise of approval before hoisting her into his arms. Rey’s legs instinctively wrap around his hips as he walks them towards the bed.

“Good, because it would be a shame not to be able to tell you that I can’t wait to taste your cunt.”  

Rey has died.

She has died and gone to whatever afterlife will have her.

She never wants to leave it.

“You… don’t… you don’t have to…” She manages to say between kisses. Kylo pulls back from her then, eyes dark, hair a mess, lip red and bitten.

“I want to. Will you let me?” Rey nods so fast she’s worried her neck will be sore. His hands ruck up her cotton dress, until he decides that the offending material will need to be off all together. She’s left in her black bralette and underwear and Kylo stares down at her.

“My tit’s aren’t that big. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to-”

“They’re perfect,” He cuts her off by kissing down her chest, mouthing her nipples through the dark fabric. The heat of his mouth combined with the coolness of the room make her nipples stand at attention, pebbling at the fabric.

Kylo depends further, and puts his entire face against her still-clothed pussy, inhaling and licking her through the fabric. Rey is a whiny mess against the sheets, hair in every direction, full body blush. She hopes he thinks she’s hot because, god, she’s never sen anyone like him.

Kylo takes of her panties and immodestly begins lapping at her cunt, no warning or hesitation, making Rey give something of a moan and a yelp. Her hand goes to his hair, feeling the luscious locks between her fingers. His hands go to her ass, lifting her up slightly so he gets a better angle.

“You’re… too good… at this…” She manages between breaths. Rey would bet anything he’s smirking against her.

Kylo uses his nose to rub at her clit before alternating between kitten licks and sucking on it. It takes no time at all for Rey to come. So quickly, in fact, that she would be embarrassed if she could move. Her whole body is on fire as he licks her through it, occasionally using a hand to brush at her nipples. The tears streaming out of her eyes and drool gathering at the corner of her mouth must make her look ghastly, but Kylo doesn’t seem to mind.

When he finally sits back, still between her legs, she can make out the bulge from earlier, now even more prominent.

He’s looking down at her, at the mess he’s made of her, and against every instinct, she lets him.

“I don’t normally come that fast,” she tells him. Her voice is quiet even now, and she knows it’ll be strained tomorrow. Good, something to remember him by.

“It won’t take me that long to come, either,” he admits, having the kindness to look sheepish as he says it.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Kylo represses a smile.

He gets off the bed, shucking his pants, underwear, and socks off in one felt swoop, leaving him gorgeously bare before her. If she though the bulge was impressive, the real thing is even better. His cock is red and pointed upwards as he stands across from her. His hand goes to pump himself a few times, smearing the precome along his length. Rey can’t help but reach out, whole body going with her as she opens her mouth to bring Kylo towards her. His hand stops her, gently, and she looks up at him in confusion.

“I want to suck you off,” She tells him, brows still furrowed.

“Later,” he tells her.

Kylo pulls her back up the bed with him, so that he hovers over her as he kisses her again. She still taste herself on him, but can’t find the heart to care. Her hands go to wrap around him, feeling the thickness for herself. Huge is an understatement. But Rey’s always been ambitious.

She pumps him a little, feeling him nearly whimper in her mouth.

“You gonna let me fuck you, baby?” he murmurs.

“Yes… yes please…”

Rey feels his hand come over hers as Kylo slots himself between her legs and aligns his cock to her core. He slides in, slowly, stretching her the whole way. She pants against his skin, digs her nails into his shoulder.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s holding back from her.

“It’s good, daddy… so good…” she pants.

He whines some curses against her skin as he finishes seating himself inside of her.

“… so good, sweetheart. Takin’ me so well… taking your daddy so well,” He mumbles, pressing kisses to any part of her skin. Rey can already feel the beginning of another orgasm itch inside of her, and for the first time in a while, she has no doubt that Kylo will get her there.

“Daddy… you can move… please,” She’s breathless as she asks him. He groans above her and rest his forehead against hers.

His hips being to move, still slow, but making her breath hitch ever shallow thrust.

“Tight… so tight for me…” He mumbles. Rey takes a minute to look at him, really look at him. He’s flushed, skin damp, but he’s still so very handsome. Moles dot his face and she can’t resist using a hand to trace them. His hair tickles her nose, so she pushes it back behind his ears, which are a bit too big for his head but she adores them.

Kylo lets Rey take him in, but gets her attention back to the moment with a quick snap of his hips.

“Can you come again?” He asks, and Rey nods. His mouth depends on her neck, sucking hickeys to every patch of skin it finds, as he pushes into her. She can feel the bump of his cock every time he bottoms out, a sensation she’s never felt before, and it makes her clench him every time. His hand skates down between them to get to her clit, and he quickly begins rubbing her there.

“Gonna let me fill you with my come? Gonna be a good girl and hold it all in? Can you do that for me baby? Huh?” His words send shivers down her spine, aiding in his pursuit to get her to come again. She mumbles incoherent words of approval, trying to tel him “yes, yes! I’ll be your good girl!” but speech fails her at the moment.

But Rey knows Kylo understands what she’s trying to say.

She feels his rhythm falter and his hand speeds against her clit. She tightens her legs around his hips, trying to wordlessly tell him she’s close too.

“Please, baby, please come for me…” His voice is desperate and strained and makes her shudder. Her hips find purchase against the base of his cock, in combination with the movement of his fingers, and she’s thrust into the abyss again.

Kylo holds her against him as she comes, whole body vibrating, and he follows after her. He grunts against a pillow as he comes, and Rey is distantly aware that he’s actually biting the poor thing. His come is hot within her, and she feels him pulse as he keeps slamming his hips to hers. The slapping of skin slows as she feels his body let go of the tension, and Rey is boneless beneath him.

He lays on her, still half-hard inside of her, as they come down from their mutual high. They are both breathing so heavily that speaking is out of the question, at least for a while. Kylo pulls out of her, and a mad rush of fluid starts to leak out of her. She clenches, remembering his words from earlier.

Part of her expects a coldness afterwards; after all, that’s what most sex has been for her. Once he’s come, he leaves. It’s the oldest story in the book. And for all Kylo’s talk of ‘stamina’, there’s still a part of her that expects it’s just a façade.

But he doest leave her, cold and debauched, to get redressed and make a hasty exit. Instead, he plants a kiss to the side of her jaw and rubs her torso sweetly before helping her sit up. She’s weak, and he knows it.

“We need to get you cleaned up,” He says when she slouch against him. She mumbles something unintelligible into his skin. Instead of getting rough with her, Kylo just soothes her. “Women are 38% more likely to get a UTI if they don’t pee after sex. That’s not a parting gift I’d like to give you,” he elaborates.

Rey sighs, but lets Kylo get her to the bathroom.

-

They sleep in spurts.

For a few hours after their first time, before Kylo wakes her with the incessant press of his hard cock into her abdomen. (He takes her even more slowly that time, sleepy and still blissed out. He comes before she does, but he uses his fingers to get her there, still.)

A few hours after that, Rey makes good on her promise to get her mouth on him, waking him with her mouth already working him. (His come tastes bitter and tangy, but she swallows it because it’s his.) She sits on his face afterwards, letting his tongue get her off again.

The next time she wakes, Kylo is kissing her chest, licking at her now oversensitive nipples. There’s a faint light peaking through the windows and Rey knows their time is coming to an end. She runs a hand through his hair to indicate she’s awake now, but he keeps on in his pursuit. Only when her chest spit-covered and shiny does Kylo seem satisfied with his work, and lifts his head to look at Rey.

“Good Morning,” She mumbles, voice strained as expected, and still groggy from sleep. He hums his response, and presses a sweet, lingering kiss to her lips.

Rey glances at the clock, noting its just past 7, when they both sit up in bed. Kylo goes to say something, but is cut off by the grumbling of Rey’s stomach. Her cheeks heat as his voice falls silent.

“Sorry… I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning,” she admits. Kylo’s brow furrows for a moment, but the dark expression passes fleetingly.

“Let’s rectify that first, shall we?”

-

The breakfast menu for room service is extensive, and Kylo orders one of everyone instead of actually looking it over. Rey can only half-heartedly try to tell him it was too much, when her eyes catch a glimpse of the fluffiest looking waffles she’s ever seen. Kylo had only kissed her head and ordered before walking into the shower.

It arrives in record time, a result, she’s sure, of the high-class hotel he got for them. The room, which she’d been too preoccupied to notice last night, is opulent. A bit gaudy for her taste (were gold curtains really necessary), but Rey was in no position to complain. She hesitated to put on actual clothes, instead opting for the plush robe that hung in the wardrobe.

Rey is half into the whole meal when Kylo emerges from the bathroom, towel hung low on his hips and hair still damp. Rey bites her lip so hard she draws blood. He sits across from her, picking up the two plates she hand’t touched.

“Greek Youghert and fruit? Don’t you want a waffle? I saved some whipped cream for you.” She extends the aforementioned whipped cream, earring her a slight smile from Kylo.

“You’re very kind, but no thank you. This is what I eat every morning,” he tells her. Rey scrunches her face. Kylo pours himself some black coffee too, and Rey finds the will to keep her mouth shut.

They eat in companionable silence, Rey scarfing down whatever her hands touch, and Kylo methodically eating his healthy-dude breakfast. Rey notes that neither of them are on their phones; it’s perhaps the first meal she’s had with someone in a while where that’s the case. Like everything else that’s made her heart flutter with him, she tries to ignore it.

Once the table is thoroughly pillaged, Kylo gets up to get dressed and says nothing when Rey hops on the bed and continues to watch him. He’s not embarrassed by nudity, clearly, and tosses the towel away for a solid 5 minutes before putting on underwear.

He’s fully dressed shortly and applies some product to his hair that has writing in french, yet Rey is still wearing only the robe and probably still has his come on her thighs. And other areas.

Part of her thinks he’ll just carry on with his routine as if she’s not there. He’ll pack his suit from the night before and leave the room without an second glance her way. Much to her relief, she’s wrong.

When he’s finally ready, Kylo turns toward her, leans down, and plants a soft kiss directly on her lips. It’s an infinitely more affectionate gesture than she had expected going into this, but a welcome one all the same. He stares fondly down at her when their lips part.

“The room is yours to use until 4 P.M., but I remember you have a noon curfew,” He tells her. Suddenly, Rey regrets telling Rose to call the national guard if she’s not physically in her presence before the clock strikes 12.

“I guess I’ll make do,” She teases.

They fall silent again, and for the second time that morning Kylo goes to say something, but falls short. The silence becomes too much for Rey to bear, so her cursed mouth opens of it on volition.

“I’m not sure how these are supposed to work… one night stands, I mean,” She admits. Something in Kylo’s face falls, but Rey can’t quite tell what.

“I don’t have much experience with these either,” he tells her. Rey shuffles onto her knees, so that they’re both eye-level, and extends her hand. Kylo looks at it with a hint of confusion mixed with amusement.

“Well, you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck. Thank you for posting,” she says, giving a mega-watt smile. He sakes her hand.

“And you’ve been a wonderful reddit-fuck-respondent. Thank you for critiquing my going about soliciting sex.” Rey opens her mouth in an exaggerated offense, but Kylo cuts her off with another sweet kiss.  

She melts into it, holding his hair with her hands, letting herself mold to his torso as his tongue swipes her lower lip. The kiss is wonderful and hot and sweet all at the same time and makes her head spin.

When it’s over and she’s caught her breath again, a pang of nervousness infiltrates her consciousness. It’s over, it whispers, you’ll never see him again if you don’t do anything. He’ll leave, just like everyone else, if you let him.

“Do you have any more meetings?” She practically shouts at him. Kylo looks confused for a moment, so she goes on. “I just mean… if you needed someone to help… prepare you for your meetings, there’s a chance I’d be available.” Her voice grows softer as she keeps talking, suddenly feeling like an idiot for suggesting that at all. Before she has a  chance to spiral, Kylo brings her back.

“I do… I mean, I will. That would be… very gracious of you, to offer you help.” She bites her lip to keep from smiling too hard.

“Okay, good.” She nods at him, relief washing over her as she realizes she might not be the only one who doesn’t want to let this go.

It’s a new feeling that probably shouldn’t be attached to a person whom was very clear about their desire for a no-strings hook up, but Rey has always had a preference for things that are challenging.

Kylo Ren seems as good a challenge as any.

-

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[cruddyborderlandstheories]

this DLC has me FUCKED UP and i keep screaming

spoilers for Bounty of Blood under the cut, keep reading at ur own peril. Also some Guardian Takedown spoilers for anyone who hasn’t beat it yet

tl;dr: a comparison between something taken from BL2 and a thing taken from Bounty of Blood. more spoilery tl;dr below the cut.

also the siren thing is not spoilers so i’ll share it here for anyone curious, it’s just this: siren tattoos are blue but when lily absorbs eridium in 2, they turn pinkish/purple. just like how vaults do from bl1 to bl2. they’re white/blue in bl1, then purple-pink in bl2 (and tps), y’know, after Eridium begins erupting from the ground. just a neat little detail i noticed that im not entirely sure was intentional but im gonna believe it is.

tl;dr: Gythian Blood = Core and the Ruiner is of Eridian Origin even tho everyone in the DLC likes to say it was created with Jakobs’ bioengineering. disclaimer: idk if I’ve found every hidden ECHO so I may be missing a few things but I have done every side quest and took ample screenshots of all important dialogue in the DLC : )

“man i just sat here for like 15 minutes staring at my keyboard mentally comparing core and eridium like the dumb bitch i am. 

it's not like we can do an actual comparison because we have no idea what the natural fauna of gehenna was like before jakobs came and mutated everything with core unlike pandora where we know what skags and rakk and shit were like BEFORE the eridium crust erupted. 

altho!!! there's a neat comparison between joey ultraviolet and rose. like obviously he wasn't getting tattoos and was just doing lines of crushed up eridium but the point stands they both have glowy eyes and unique powers so i don't necessarily think this means rose is a siren just because she has magic powers especially when we know she got the whistling passed down to her from her grandmother. 

especially because we've never seen a siren interact with core before. altho that leaves the question we have seen core tattoos now what are eridium tattoos like? actually rose's tattoos were on her right arm obviously she isn't a siren as we know them right now (I saw a post on reddit where people thought rose was a siren) 

of course that brings up the point perhaps siren tattoos ARE eridium tattoos. but then we hear the general's log about how the devil riders were tattooing a man with core and blood so obviously they're not ‘naturally’ occurring unlike siren tattoos. so odds are they're probably not equivalents but something interesting i thought of while thinking about this is how well siren tattoos compare to the Vaults from borderlands 1 and borderlands 2″

anyway. this is all ive been thinking about. yes yes i know guardian takedown post but! >:( im still salty even tho this update has been lovely (outside of Blane not getting his correct damage scaling ‘till today......). so i’ll do that at my own damn pace. now let me elaborate so i can sleep at night lmao

Eridium

refinement produces slag, which weakens people and can mutate things

has mutating properties, mostly with imbuing elements into shit- possibly causes insanity

seems to be connected to another dimension, likely the one the Eridians are from

Core

has a secondary form of Infused Core

has mutating properties, mostly regarding a thing’s body and mind

apparently radioactive

there are some things i wanna note

1) People throughout the DLC say the Ruiner was created by the Jakobs corp (the company) thru bio-engineering but I’m 99% sure that’s not true. The paperwork seems to me like they found the egg somewhere on Gehenna and decided to roll and experiment with it like all corporations do when they find weird alien shit. so maybe they experimented with whatever was inside the egg, but I don’t think they actually created it entirely

“Excavated from [REDACTED] ... Local legends speaks of a [REDACTED]. This theory is not endorsed by our research personnel.

2) The Ruiner’s design reminds me a lot of the Warrior.

3) Core immediately reminded me of Gythian Blood from Guns Love and Tentacles and I don’t think that’s coincidence to have 2 back-to-back DLCs where the big bad is focused on green death juice. I think Gythian Blood and Core are of the same stuffs.

4) Therefore, I think the Ruiner is (mostly) of Eridian origin (if you haven’t already guessed). 

This gives us an amazing look into how the Eridians actually create their beasts!!! And I’m so happy they showed us this.

(side note, Interitus Regina (the long name for Ruiner) literally means Destruction Queen and I think that’s beautiful <3)

i mean the idea that they plunge them from orbit to create an explosion similar to a nuke is fucking horrifying (but holy shit I love it so much ahhh it’s so cool!!!!)

the one side line from Oletta about how the company couldn’t control the Ruiner deffo makes me double down on this theory. I’m not entirely sure how Rose’s grandma knew about the whistling (I don’t think I’ve found every echo log in that area YET), but I would bet it was part of the testing given how many fuckin’ tape players they have throughout the facility. The Warrior was controlled by verbal commands via Jack, so it’s possible that the Ruiner was intended to be controlled similarly, but Jakobs intervention (or something like the way Rose hatched it) fucked it up.

now we know the Warrior was created to protect the Vault of the Destroyer (hmm.) so what the heck was the Ruiner created for? Ruiner is a name given to it by Jakobs/the people of Gehenna so we can’t really assume, but then again the monster names are pretty apt in this series even tho they probably technically shouldn’t be. 

it was only an egg, so maybe it was another test of Core? A Vault Monster incubating until it was ready to protecc and attacc but was never hatched because the Eridians ‘sacrificed’ themselves before it could? (I’m still not convinced the Eridians are the good guys. Listen. LISTEN. The guardian takedown is something to think about, BUT it doesn’t disprove that theory and I’ll stand by it because I 100% trust the Overseer more than bitchpants mcgee over here who thinks he’s soooo special for no reason fuck you and your dumb ‘I did what the Watcher could not’ bull you haven’t done shit.) ok sorry im done he just angers me. stupid guardian man. your whip is stupid and you should feel bad. oh also I totally called us actually being Guardians thru Guardian Rank before the game came out aha yeah.

I definitely think Gythian was a test/use of Core from the Eridians. We see in Bounty of Blood that core seems to mutate more the physical (and occasionally mental) parts of people, like with the crew challenges u do for Juno with all the weird hybrid people and whatnot. Gythian had the whole ‘the heart still beats’ thing going on (which is definitely a physical mutation if i’ve ever seen one), plus the whole, you know, mind control and shit. Which is p similar to what the menta gnats can do when charged with Infused Core. And keep in mind in BLaT we see DAHL notes on what happens to test subjects when injected with Gythian Blood. They mutated physically and went insane.

What im saying is Sirens and Eridium and Elements are connected, so what does Core equal? body/mind sure but are there unique creatures for core (yes holy shit I’m not talking about h2o au for once and FINALLY they gave us a canon name for the green stuff!!!). If not, I’d love to see a Siren interact with Core to see what it does to them. seriously why hasn’t tannis interrupted us yet. horrible excuse for a science lover (kidding kidding, I love her). I’d also really love a fuller rundown on what the hell Rose’s powers were. Because the whistling thing seemed to just be her grandma’s thingie passed down to her from her mom

but the core stuff

her gun seems to be infused with it. So did her sword thing. I didn’t really get a good look at it i was too busy trying to see thru my blurry tears of LOVE for this DLC.

Strangely while her tattoos are (mostly) green I actually don’t know if they’re core infused bc look at this

n look back at hers. hers aren’t very lime.

anyway

her eyes

I’d love to know if the core gives her immediate future sight or just increased perception or reaction times. there’s a huge difference but she seemed to be able to shoot the gun outta the sheriff’s hand near immediately and it seems kinda implied its because of the core (or at least because her eyes are glowing green)

there’s a possibility she has some unique core powers/possibly implants because of her relations to the project in the first place, or as leader of the devil riders after looting the facility. it’s really hard to say without more info and like i said im not sure if i missed an ECHO or two or not regarding her backstory :( 

Her hair is also green which I just noticed. Maybe she has core powers bc her grandmother got suuuuuuuuper irradiated/influenced working on project horizons and it passed down thru her n Rose’s mom, to Rose. Tannis does have a line about Sirens having unique hair colors and, if Sirens are linked to Eridium, perhaps those linked to Core also have unique hair color. Could also explain why only Rose seems to have those whistling powers. That said we don’t really see anyone else trying that whistling thing out afaik and idk if it was, like, a special ability or a certain tone/ditty or w h a t. 

i know being vague with everything gives them more creative freedom to create amazing characters and scenarios, but dammit I want A N S W E R S.

All THAT said man I’m so glad magic is real in the borderlands universe. oh, sorry, “magic”. It’s magic. Science it, tannis, I dare you. either way, I win. Either it’s magic and H2O AU is canon, or it’s science and I finally get my goddamn answers. Hey gearbox can you make a book just explaining all the science and eridian stuff. please. I’d love you forever. please. pleaheheheheaaasseee it’s all i’ve ever wanted.

oh also can i just say, suuuper disappointed we didn’t learn anything about anshin. Really wish non-fan favorite corporations would get the spotlight/lore for once. Like, I like Jakobs as much as the next guy, and I get WHY they did it (can’t have a corporation looking too good!!!) but they now have 3 DLCs (Jakobs Cove, GLaT, and Bounty of Blood) and also a hefty chunk of the main game. Like... we all know Jakobs fuckin sucks, look at what they did on Pandora. I really just want info on a medical corporation 😭 I have to do everything my damn s e l f. but SERIOUSLY IMAGINE the possibilities that could come from a medical corp getting its hands on eridian tech. like, yeah obviously the weapons corps are gonna use it for weaponry and stuff BUT WOULDN’T THE MEDICAL CORPS MUTATING PEOPLE MAKE MORE SENSE??? ldfhgldfshg I have to do everything my damn self...

anyway all that aside, this is definitely by favorite borderlands dlc by a LONG shot. Nothing comes close. Ahhh the lore, the nuclear aspect, the a e s t h e t i c (seriously, have I mentioned how much I adore Trigun???), the art, the music, the cryoslinger, the fact I can bust out going beeEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAans like Ray Chase at any time and it will MAKE SENSE. I love all of it.

oh, also, Rose is totally not dead. C’mon, they couldn’t find her body. She pulled a Lilith. “Are you sure she didn’t just suffer a wound that LOOKS fatal, only for her to come back in a blockbuster sequel...?” is a line from mr Jones himself (the movie guy)

I just hope when she comes back she gets to meet Captain Scarlett. I’d love to watch their interactions plus pirates and or ninjas. That’s 2 DLC villains now that have vanished without a trace. And I like Captain Scarlett way more than Rose (seriously I spent the entire beginning of the DLC complaining about how her voice bothered me- I was so happy she was a villain, I was hoping that was the case).

oh yeah, reminder, the people of vestige were living next to highly radioactive egg for likely years. i feel really bad for them :(

also!!!

this made me smile

[spirit-shroud]

i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase) 

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever. 

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’ 

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human) 

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man 

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!! 

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot 

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good 

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing. 

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends 

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

[olivcrfm]

hello! this is my stupid naive child with a heart of gold oliver !  i’m very excited to about him, so pls give me all of your affection & plots 🥺  i wrote like a whole novel under the cut because i had this man for like a year now, so please bare with me

chicago’s very own oliver park-davies has been spotted on madison avenue driving a maroon jeep wrangler , welcome ! your resemblance to charles melton is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty fourth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re withdrawn, but being empathetic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be lazy mornings in bed, getting the job done at the last minute, & a soft voice  . ( i stole the test answers for my college finals to impress my parents ) & ( cis male & he/him) + ( hailey , 19 , she/her, cst)

— “ basics ! ’ 〉

full name. oliver park-davies.

nicknames. oli, ollie, park, davies obviously lmao.

age. twenty-four.

date of birth. june 26.

occupation. singer/songwriter.

sexual orientation. bisexual.

birthplace. new york.

zodiac. cancer.

spoken languages. fluent in too many languages thank you.

— “ backstory! ’ 〉

oliver park-davies was born in chicago to two extremely loving parents, and his seven other siblings of which he was the oldest, they were this gigantic loving family, and everybody wanted to be like them

okay well when i say loving i mean that’s how they appeared on the outside, his family was very broken, his parents constantly on the edge of divorce, him and his siblings didn’t get along at all, and in the park-davies house there was always something to argue about

the park-davies were billionaires, this was due to their extremely successful business endeavors, and knew when and where to invest their money they had enough money to buy whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, they never looked at the price tag, to quote ariana grande, “they want it, they got it.” their business headquarters is in texas! and oliver’s parents constantly just left him n his siblings in chicago while they went to texas

but he spent his summers their and it’s basically home away from home

his parents often tried to basically bribe their kids to love them because they were honestly the worst, they often emotionally abused their children, and neglected them, and the only time that their parents did want anything to do with them is when they needed to make a public appearance

was very much the rich kid that raised by nannies and butlers rather than his actual parents, and in a weird way he sorta became this surrogate parent for his siblings, he was the one they looked up to and came to for advice that sorta thing

oliver,,,just needed something anything to take his mind of it, so immediately he threw himself into studying and books, and to quote matilda, “the books gave him a comforting message...you are not alone.”

his parents ended up figuring out that their son was smart, like hella smart, by 10 he’d mastered latin, and by 11 he was already reading at college level

bUT despite being able to graduate college by 12 at the rate he was going he wanted as normal of a childhood as possible, and so he continued with his regular grade level, and tried his best to be ‘normal’

honestly his love of books got to the point that his room essentially turned into a small library of it’s own, it got to the point where his parents reluctantly gave him his own room to house all of his books

books weren’t the only thing that oliver found his passion for, when he enrolled in his school’s choir, he realized his love for singing

he wanted to share his music with people without having the recognition, so he uploaded a lot of his music to soundcloud under an alias ( vc: conan gray / cavetown i can’t decide yet lmao rip )

he gained a massive following, that not even he expected, which would seem like a great thing if he wasn’t expected by his parents to take on the family business

one day his parents sat him down and he saw it a good a time as ever to tell his parents about the success he hoped to gain from singing, his parents cut him off immediately and told him that his father was suffering from cancer

due to his revelation his parents ostracized him more than they did before, and slowly but surely he began to be iced out, no longer showing up in appearances, and just avoiding any press altogether

as his father got increasingly more sick, oliver began to realize the mistake that he made, and on his death bed oliver promised his father that he would do as both of his parents wished and take over the family business

oliver had the scores to get to any school that he wanted and decided on business school at columbia, where his father was an alumni, the agreement that he had with his mother was that once he graduated he’d begin shadowing his mother to learn to run the company

the school and the city itself was immediately overwhelming to my boy who came from not so humble beginnings in his small town, and he was unsure of where he belonged in this huge school

until!!!!! he found friends!!!! and they made him feel accepted!!! and it was great!!!!

once his friends heard his voice and of his dreams they encouraged him to join the university’s men’s choir, and was prompted by the director to join the university’s theatre department, where he appeared in a overwhelming majority of the school’s plays and musicals

he was discovered one night at this open mic thing he went to and it was great! he was signed to a record deal with a label! and my bby’s dreams were finally coming true!!!

lmao but the one condition that he did have for his label was that he had to graduate school first, and it was accepted

he graduated early! because of course he did only because he stole the test answers because his grades were sorta declining and finals were coming up sooo

his mom was expecting him to come back to texas and maintain the family business, but he pulled a whole uno reverse card, and ended up disappearing from whatever world it is that him mom lived in

he became pretty successful in the music industry, coming from this cool indie artist that only about a few hundred people knew about to this seemingly overnight sensation

my bb is still v e r y unused to the attention, mostly because his parents never gave it to him and he was like, adoration???? attention??? care??? what’s that

has recently started a band! consisting of people he met a columbia, so him, a guy friend, and olivia dkfsjdkj guy friend remains unnamed because it’s a wc

— “ personality / headcanons ! ’ 〉

is a huge dork that just loves to make people smile and when he sees people genuinely happy his heart melts a little bit inside

is very much the shoulder to cry on for people, and even if he doesn’t know you he’ll sit and listen to your whole life story and just try to cheer you up because that’s just in his nature?

has started his acting career! first it was just cute small little cameos in movies and tv shows, but now it’s turned into him getting his own show!!! he couldn’t be more excited tbh

remember how i said that he’d sit and listen to a stranger cry? if he shows even the slightest bit of emotion that isn’t happiness he starts malfunctioning and just trying to make the people around him happy

he’s honestly probably said, “alright i have to go back to being funny again.” to himself so many times before??? he’s so broken on the inside but has just put up so many barriers

despite the many walls he has to protect himself from other people, he’s just the nicest purest soul, he treats everyone like his family, and just has the insatiable need to be liked dkkfkdkd, pls be fragile with my boy thanks

ollie is left-handed

loves singing show tunes and has gone to too many shows on broadway????

has a special room for playbills because he likes getting them signed and they’re very important to him

hates talking about his family and will probably cry if you make him bring them up lmao

he’s such a himbo ... just kind , beefy , and stupid

he often just dumbs himself down, not because he thinks he’s better than other or something weird like that, buuuut he feels like people will judge him and make fun of him like others did when he was younger

— “ wanted plots ! ’ 〉

some potential wc i’m terrible at thinking of these so please don’t feel limited by this list!

best friends!!!!

roommates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think this, this, this, this

guys he can hang out with sdksdflfkj idk a close knit group i’m thinking of ross, chandler, and joey or smth he’d be joey obvi

romantic plots can fuck me up any day of the week

i’m a slut for a good exes plot

unrequited crush, it can be that he has feelings for someone way out of his league, or someone has a crush on him and he’s just oblivious 

someone who broke his heart n inspired his music

band members!!!! would’ve had to attended columbia 

someone who he’s a good influence on

bad influence, he’s too good corrupt him do it cowards

former / current hookups 

ex friends 

straight up enemies

smth like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen

[swiss-cheeze]

Proposing || Queen + Boh Rhap cast

QUEEN (not including Freddie)

———————————————————

Brian:

Brian had the whole day planned out! A nice breakfast to wake up then there would be a cute goose chase around your house and the city (going from your first date, first time he said 'I love you', first time you guys kissed, made love, had an argument {which funnily enough was the cafe you both had your first date at}, first time you made love etc.). THEN, after about 5 or so hours (cuz he would know the goose chase would be over), he'd ring you to get dressed up nicely but still comfortable (casual formal) and he'd order a cab to be out the front and to drive you to a nice little quiet restaurant, you'd talk about your day and then afterwards he take you to the car (that he used to get to and from the studio) and he'd drive you to his favorite spot where you can see the ENTIRE night sky and he'd have a telescope and books and even some maps of the constellations and after a little while (and giving you his jacket) he'd just kind of look at you and smile that award winning smile:

Brian: 'marry me (Y/n)?'

You: 'p-pardon?'

Brian pulling out a blue velvet box and showing the small ring inside: 'you are the love of my life, would you do me the great honor in becoming Mr. /Mrs. May?'

You probably with tears in your eyes: 'yes!'

Then you would kiss a hug and then make love under the stars!! (It's a secluded area its okay)

John:

Queen would be playing on stage, Deaky doing his little bobbing dancing and stuff and after a while Freddie would be wiping sweat away and be like, 'our little Deacon has something to say!!' And he'd pass the mic to John and he'd look to the crowd as they'd cheer and stuff:

John: 'um, okay, thank you for tonight first of all!' *crowd cheers* 'but um, I've had something special in mind for a while, can I please call my lovely partner (Y/n) to the stage!'

Freddie would be guiding you one stage patting your hand that was linked in his arm and saying 'it's okay he's got this under control' and stuff. You'd stand in front of John and John would pass his bass to Freddie who put it in a safe place:

John smiling: 'hello love'

You probably giggling or something idk: 'hello'

John: 'I have called you here because of something special' *deep breath* 'I have loved you since the day I met you, you have been my one and only and my only one, you have been there through everything with me, through breakdowns and tears, through the ups and the downs and through Rogers fanatics' *que Roger yelling a 'HEY' in the background* 'and I wanted to ask you something very important and dear to my heart' *the crowd cheers knowing what he's gonna do as John pulls out a ring from his back pocket and getting on one knee* *also que Roger doing a drum roll in the background making everything laugh and John roll his eyes* 'my sunshine, would you do me the absolute favor of becoming my husband/wife?'

You probably have tears in your eyes and can't string a sentence together so you just nod constantly.

John: 'love please use your voice'

You: 'YES!' *que everyone cheering*

John would exhale SO LOUDLY, he'd stand up, put the ring on your finger and then lift you from your waist and twirl you around on stage while you giggled and then when he put you down again you would immediately kiss him and John being John would be cute and dip you down while still kissing making you both giggle. You'd finally walk off stage giddy and excited as Freddie got his mic back (including the stand) and giving John and large bear hug.

Freddie: 'well that was lovely dearies! Now! To commemorate this occasion! I present to you! You're My Best Friend!' *que the crowd going mad and you crying on the sidelines*

Roger:

Y'all are at home watching some quiet tv all cuddled into each other and shit probably watching some reality tv show where the winner wins £1000 or whatever, and you're talking together every now and then, the whole 'would we have a family?' 'Yes' 'how many kids' 'seventeen hundred' 'ROGER' 'WHAT' 'that'll hurt', and all of that, and it kind of goes silent and Roger excuses himself to go pee. Rog leaves to do his business and this gives you the moment 👀, you race up to the bedroom, grab the red box in your side of the drawers and run back down to the lounge and sit where you previously were sitting. Rog comes back after a little while and you go back to cuddling and sitting in comfortable silence for a few minutes before you become restless:

You: 'Rog'

Roger: 'yeah babe?'

You, taking in a deep breath, getting off the couch and getting on one knee in front of him pulling the red box and opening it to show a gold band: 'marry me?'

Roger probably out of breath not knowing what to do: 'I- um- but- aren't- I- but-'

You: 'it's too early in our relationship isn't it? I'm sorry, f-forget I asked' *goes to put ring away*

Roger: 'no no no no!' *takes a beautifully carved diamond ring out of his jumper pocket with a large grin* 'I just didn't expect you to ask first. Marry me?'

Now it's your turn to be speechless. Which you both end up laughing at and shedding a few tears.

Obviously you say yes.

Obviously he says yes.

You cuddle.

Cry.

Look at your rings.

Maybe make love if that's what you want. Rog is definitely up to that.

BOH RHAP CAST

————————————————————

Rami:

Dinner date, beautiful romantic dinner, a rose in the middle of the table adorned with stark white cloth, the most beautiful view of the sunset to your side and the most perfect view in front of you, Rami, he had asked you on a date to this place as an apology for being away for so long with filming. You of course said it was fine and he didn't need to apologies but he won that argument nonetheless and you ended up here. The best (favorite food) you have ever had and your favorite wine choice. You excused yourself for the bathroom to 'freshen up' which was Rami's cue; he set the red box on you (clean) plate, lid open with a beautiful ring inside, the jewel wasn't too big or too small and it was the perfect representation of you yourself and that's why Rami loved it so much. Rami had talked to the chef's before you two got to the restaurant saying he was proposing and made sure that your seating was secluded as well as under the box said 'Marry me love of my life?' in red. You'd walk back:

You chuckling with a confused look: 'what's this?'

Rami: 'read it'

You: *reads it and goes through the stages of shock, confusion, and then shock again* 'R-Rami'

Rami: 'please? You're the love of my life and I can't not see you in my life as you do I, I love you ever so much and you have supported me through everything, Bohemian Rhapsody, Mr. Robot, even James Bond! Please' *que puppy dog eyes as well as a pleading look*

You nodding with tears in your eyes: 'yes! Yes of course a million times yes!' *crying, smiling. You take the ring out and put it on chuckling* 'is the ring edible or is it just the writing?' *sly grin*

Rami: 'what you're wearing is my desert if that's what you're asking' *wink*

You: *blush*

Needless to say; it was a long night. The ring stayed on the bedside table; both of you not wanting to lose it between the sheets or anything.

Ben:

You two would be at the soccer match 'of the year', whoever against England, you didn't pay attention too much; you tried to honest to god you did, but your head still just didn't want to wrap around it that tiny bit. So you mostly sat on your phone through the game until Ben would shake your shoulder with excitement as his team won another goal.

Ben: 'they're winning! They're gonna win (Y/n)!'

You: 'yay!' *Ben goes back to watching the game and you go back to playing on your phone*

Time soon slowly crawled forward, Bens team won (which lead to him picking you up and swinging you around out of excitement) before the announcer came on.

Announcer: 'with that perfect win I believe we have someone in the crowd wanting to ask something!'

Someone comes up to Ben and hands him a microphone (he's wringing his hands while holding it because he's so nervous)

Ben: 'w-well, (Y/n), you're my best friend, the person I want to stay with for the rest of my life. And I've been meaning to ask you this for a while' *turns and holds a hand out to the pitch; both soccer teams now had their shirts off and had their arms linked over each other's shoulders (even if they were from the other team yes) and each letter was painted on their back spelling out 'Will you Marry me?'*

You: *probably having a hand over your mouth in shock you look back to Ben who's now on one knee and holding the beautiful ring you had been eyeing for the past four months* 'YES'

Ben breathing a sigh of relief and standing up: 'THEY SAID YES' *into the mic, queuing the crowd to go in an ecstatic uproar, even the soccer players whooped, hollered and jumped on each other as Ben spun you around and kissed you*

Joe:

Joe is full into the cliché stuff right? He'd do the whole 'put the ring in the cupcake/cake' idea; thinking it was just that of a good idea.

You come home from work exhausted, someone got a raise, someone else got a promotion, one of the seniors was leaving and god forbid someone else had to bring their child. Today was not a day you wanted to keep. So you walked into the house mopping slightly as you put your shoes in their respective place and called out to Joe.

You: 'JOEY'

Joe: 'KITCHEN'

You: *walks into kitchen and coughs slightly* 'alright mister, the gig is up, what are you making? Smells like dead rats in here my lord'

Joe, smiling awkwardly and trying to wave some gray smoke away from the smoke alarms: 'nothing dear! Just wanted to make something for you for when you get home and well! You're home!'

You: 'mm hmm, okay now tell me the real reason why you're making a burnt cake'

Joe: 'I'm not making a burnt cake!'

You: 'you're making something burnt that's for sure'

Joe pulling out three trays of vanilla and chocolate muffins: 'they're muffins you uncultured swine'

You: 'they don't look that bad honestly'

Joe all giddy and shit: 'I know! Let's put them on the rack and wait for them to cool before decorating?'

You: 'sure!'

You both started taking out the muffins and putting them on racks and plates before heading to the lounge room where Joe gave you a butt load of massages, head rubs, and let you vent about your day already knowing that if you kept it all in you would be in a worse mood tomorrow; you ended up falling asleep while Joe was giving you a head/neck massage and M*A*S*H* played in the background. Taking this time to his advantage Joe set to work and started decorating the cupcakes and arranging them; each with one letter accommodating to 'marry me?', an arrow pointing down and the cupcake with the ring in it. Made especially for you with all of his love. Only an hour or two passed before you woke up and went in search for Joe before coming across him napping on the kitchen floor. Reading the message made you giggle, chuckle, then laugh and then tear up with joy, even though Joe was asleep against the kitchen counters it was still cute. You took the muffin with the ring in it and took out said ring with some delicate handy work before washing the ring, putting it on your finger, muttering a small 'yes' to yourself and placing said muffin back in its rightful place; wanting to play a small prank/game on Joe to see how long it took him to realize you had the ring on.

Joe did wake up about half an hour later and found you sitting in the lounge room reading a magazine.

Joe: 'babe follow me!'

You, putting down your magazine knowing exactly what would happen: 'what's up babe?'

Joe leading you into the kitchen and pointing to the muffins with a giddy smile: *giddy smile*

You smiling widely with your hands over your mouth (making sure the ring was on display): 'babe!'

Joe: 'mmmmmmmmmm?' *getting a little nervous*

You: 'yes!'

Joe letting out an audible breath he didn't realize his was holding in: 'oh thank fuck'

You went for the cupcake (already knowing what was meant to be inside) and quickly (but slowly) started to nibble and take apart the muffin.

You: 'Joey? Baby? Do you have the ring?'

Joe: 'huh? N-no it's meant to be in the muffin' *starting to go pale*

You: 'it isn't in their baby' *faking a sad tone*

Joe, coming over and looking everything in the cupcake and around on the counter: 'what? But I made sure it was in there, there is nowhere else it should be!' *looking around frantically*

You: 'Joey'

Joe: *still looking around worried*

You: 'Joey!'

Joe: *still the same thing*

You: 'JOSEPH'

Joe: 'WHAT' *turns to look at you as you hold up your hand with the ring on it*

You: 'I've got it, its okay baby' *large giddy grin.

Joey: 'b-but...HOW!?'

You: 'I came up here after my nap and saw you asleep on the floor so I didn't want to wake you up, I saw the muffins and took out the ring and made sure to make it look like it was before. I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to frighten you so much' *cupping Joes face near the end of your sentence*

Joe grabbing your hand and making sure the ring is on your finger: 'I-is that a yes?'

You: 'yes Joey of course a thousand times yes!'

Joe: 'oh thank god!'

You with a giddy smile as you lean in wrapping your arms around his shoulders, 'I love you Joey'

Joe: 'I love you too babe but you are definitely getting a punishment for that act you played' *smacks your butt playfully making you giggle and bite your lip*

Obviously you can tell what Joe did to you for the rest of the day and even into the really early morning ;).

Gwilym:

Dog Park.

You and Gwil would go to a cute little Dog Park with your pup and you'd play together and have fun and when you take a breather on the bench Gwil pops the question.

Gwil: 'have...have you thought of a future with me?'

You: 'of course, I always have'

Gwil pulling out the ring: 'then can we get it going?'

You smiling while looking at the ring and nodding: 'yes'

Gwil would smile, kiss you and then put the ring on your finger and then you'd go home and cuddle.

((I'm sorry Gwils is so short, I couldn't think of much for him besides the dog park))

Lucy:

Drunk on wine she would pop the question suddenly. You two would be having a lazy day in, facemasks and bubble baths and everything else; you two would be sitting in the lounge room (finished with your little facials and bubble bath and scrubs) drinking wine and watching crap telly.

Lucy: 'love'

You: 'mmmmm yes?'

Lucy looking at you with a drunken smile: 'marry me?'

You giggling: 'of course babe!' *goes in for a hug but ends up empty handed as Lucy walked off into the bedroom* 'love!?'

Lucy coming back in with the ring: 'here you go" *giggling*

You: 'I-I didn't know you were being serious'

Lucy: 'of course I was!'

You giggling and taking the ring with tears in your eyes: 'I love it babe, thank you'

[pisati]

I already posted on main about it and I’ve got nowhere else to really vent. I know my co-receptionist is active on twitter and I don’t know if she’s ever tried to look for me (probably not), but I don’t want to risk complaining where she could possibly see.

it’s just been a long, shitty week. and it’s only tuesday. we had two euthanasias yesterday and two today. usually we get one TOPS in a week. most weeks we don’t have any. 

I don’t know how many weeks we’ve been doing this now, but it’s definitely been over a month. I’ve worked with the lead receptionist a bunch since I started. she’s nice, but she’s very much got her own personality. she’s from new jersey, and that’s the explanation for a lot of her attitude, she says. I respect her and how well she knows herself and her boundaries. but I really feel like she could be a little nicer. I get that she’s worked in healthcare for a long time and she’s seen some shit but she acts like she knows everything and sometimes it’s just really insensitive.

I don’t think she means to sound rude, but there have been times when I’ve been talking about something and she’s only half-listening, usually because she’s working on something, and she’ll finish what she was doing and go “now what are you babbling about?” she did it to one of the techs the other day too. I know she just means to ask “what were you saying?” but it really makes me feel like whatever I’m saying is just nonsense to her, like I’m running at the mouth and whatever it is isn’t important. 

we listen to what she wants to listen to. for 12 straight hours, 3 days a week, every week. according to her my music taste is respectable, but “a lot of sad-sackery”, so we listen to her music. we have limited overlap, but I don’t say anything. not because I don’t want to start an argument, I’m pretty much cool with whatever. but I’ve noticed that when we listen to what she likes, it’s often just a small handful of things she likes. I KNOW DMX has way more songs than just the same few. same with nicki minaj and beyonce. we’ve listened to some rage against the machine, which I can appreciate, but there are definitely way more songs than just killing in the name, bombtrack, take the power back, and know your enemy. I’ve listened to musical soundtracks. we did les mis and chicago and maybe a few others last week. I’ve sat there and watched videos I didn’t care to watch, because she’s really enthused about black opera singers and bruce springsteen and whomever the fuck else, because I like to think I’m a nice person and when someone is excited about something and wants to share it I let them be fucking excited about it, even if I don’t give half a flying fuck about it. today was a disney day, apparently, so I listened to soundtracks for mary poppins, the little mermaid, and beauty and the beast. sound of music too. whatever other eclectic songs tickle her fancy on any given day. but I’ve noticed it seems to just be the things she likes. I’ve come to work on disney days before but I don’t recall hearing soundtracks to more than just a few movies. I tried to get her to listen to a little hozier once or twice; since she’s a singer we often end up talking about vocal talent. and I was trying to show her what a great vocalist he is. she listened to maybe a few seconds of a song or two and, nah, not her taste. she gets why someone like me would like his voice, though. today she was laughing about something one of the techs had said; we have a whiteboard in the back hallway and every week or so someone (her, maybe?) puts up a prompt and people can write their responses. ya know, team bonding, sorta. this week she’d put up “what two famous people would you like to have dinner with?” and one of the techs had written “leo dicaprio and billie eilish”. and she was laughing about it. she’s not a fan of billie’s popular stuff. I told her about how I didn’t think I’d much like billie at first, but I listened to her whole album and I was surprised, I thought she had a really nice voice. just.. nope. I asked if I could play one song. just one. nope, nope, nope. she’d listened to half a second of each song on her album and decided she didn’t like any of them. I didn’t press.

yesterday she really just... ugh. the head vet had come up to the front desk to tell us that a really sweet client offered to buy us lunch, and did we have any ideas on what we’d like? they were thinking panera. I wasn’t sure if there was anything there I’d eat, but I’d take a look at the menu. my coworker had piped up with “she’s like super picky” and then ensued the “so what do you eat?” conversation. I didn’t really have much to say, since I’m tired of that fucking question and I don’t have such a small palate that I can just list off everything. she interrupted with “mac and cheese, I know that.” I forget what else she said, but I tried to explain that it was a sensory issue and there’s actually a disorder that involves a sensory rejection of food that lasts well into adulthood, and she was just sitting there next to me trying to hold back laughs. I asked her what was funny, she goes “it just sounds like picky eating, like it sounds so ridiculous”. 

yeah, because I love being 25 and not being able to go to more than a tiny handful of restaurants with friends because those few places have one thing on the menu I’ll eat. I fucking love being too deeply embarrassed to special-order anything plain that I’d rather not eat at all. I love the “so what DO you eat” question, I love being laughed at and made fun of, I love feeling like a child who could never “grow out of it”. I really fucking love it, that’s why I continue to do this to myself. fuck’s sake.

this is the person who takes euthanasias so seriously that she’ll fuck anyone’s day up if they interrupt her while she’s getting paperwork together or if they’re being loud while the owner is in the room. she told me about her home health care work and how she dealt with a lot of people who were in hospice and she was real sympathetic to just about anything, because they were dying. I know I’m not dying, this doesn’t involve death, but the complete lack of empathy towards me just... really hurts. here I am trying to explain myself the way I always feel the need to, because I apparently have to have a fucking reason why I’m so picky, and she won’t hear any of it. she was fucking laughing at me. 

I don’t feel disliked at my job, but I’m getting that feeling like I did in high school and college. like I’m both a part of something and not. I know I’m weird and a little awkward, but... she talks to people on the other team and they leave memes for each other. there’s a new girl on the other team who only started a month or two ago, but my co-receptionist is leaving memes for her specifically; the new girl even called today and she picked up, and they were having a riot of a conversation from what I could hear; a lot of genuine laughter, and I could hear the way she was talking, it sounded just so natural. a lot of the time with me she doesn’t quite sound like that. she’s got a pretty dirty sense of humor, and she was leaving some pretty gross memes for the new girl, meanwhile there was a video she’d shown the new doctor and the head vet that she didn’t want to show me because she “wasn’t sure if we were there yet”. she’d already described it to me, and she finally showed it to me today; it was just some nerdy guy singing about pussy in an 80s R&B voice. nothing I couldn’t have found somewhere on the internet myself. hell, it’s probably already floating around tumblr somewhere. idk, I don’t feel disliked but I am starting to feel left out. like, even the new people are more integrated than I am, and I’ve been there 8 months. I don’t know why this happens to me literally everywhere I go. every job, every school (except IUP somehow??), fucking everything. I just never feel like a true part of anything and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m not unfriendly. I don’t think I’m unapproachable. maybe I really just am that boring.

I’m just really tired of this. when she was out sick that one day last week, and I had to handle 13 straight hours of reception basically by myself, with some help from the office manager, I actually felt less tired than when she was there. I feel like I have to put on a face for her, like I have to pretend to be interested in whatever she’s going on about all day. I can’t say anything to her because she’s the lead receptionist, but it’s been getting on my nerves lately that I try to actually do work and she’s sitting there looking at memes, telling me she has to find this particular one of jason momoa so she can print it out have it at her desk because he’s just so attractive

I didn’t get a break yesterday, because our doctors were lagging so far behind and I had to keep the phones on. she left to go do something, and I was left to answer phones by myself. I almost didn’t get a break today either; there were still one or two clients left by 1pm and I couldn’t turn the phones over to the break message, and she had a thing to do with her car so she’d be back. I forget how I ended up mentioning that I didn’t get a break yesterday either and she was like “well that’s me the other times the doctors are behind. it’s your turn”. and while that is fair... one of the techs came up to talk to her after she’d left. she looked at me and was like, “where’s trish?” and I was like “... on break”. and she looked at me and I looked at her and she was like “...she’s been taking more breaks than any of us”. and I was like “yyyyep.” she goes out a few times during the day to have a cigarette too. usually when it’s quiet, but of course in the space of 10 minutes there’s a lot that can happen. often it does. thankfully today we had those last few clients out by 1:30 so I did get to clock out, and she let me stay off the clock until 2:30. but if the doctors were as behind today as they were yesterday, I’d have had no break today either.

we pretty much only ever talk about what she wants to talk about. she’s constantly interrupting me or talking over me, so I just let her talk. I’ve heard more about her wild sex life back in her 20s than I’d ever care to know. today she told a story three times (once to me, once to the head vet, and once to one of the techs) about how she can accurately guess a man’s dick size by the way he walks, and how she did this to some guy she dated in her early 20s and he was surprised by it. I don’t want to make things tense or awkward by saying I don’t want to talk about these things and I’d personally rather listen to music that keeps me calm and just quietly scan, fax, label, and attach things in between the periodic phone calls, but I can hardly get a word in edgewise anyway, so it’s mostly just me listening. she’s let me know in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t like rats and doesn’t think they’re cute; doesn’t want to see pictures of them, just.. nothing. I personally think that you can’t claim to love animals if you only love the ones you think are cute. but I don’t even know if she does. I couldn’t tell you why she’s working at a vet clinic. 

it’s fucking exhausting. it’d be exhausting with alexa too, I know that for a fact. I’m getting better at my job but I still need a supervising receptionist, so either way I’d have to deal with one of the two. I’m just glad it’s only 3 days a week, but even my 4 day weekends are flying by. the days are all blending together and I’m having a hard time getting my brain to work. none of this is easy. but it definitely doesn’t help to have to work with someone who’s so rigid about everything they do; like, I spend all fucking day listening to what you have to say and listening to every single song you want to listen to and watching every stupid video you think is funny (though some of them are; other times it’s like.. something reminded her of a veggie tales episode so now we have to watch it), and I can’t even play one song I like because you’ve listened to a split second of it and automatically think you don’t like it? the fuck, dude.

just.. the way she acts like she knows everything about the way people act, and how little tolerance she has for bullshit. I appreciate that second bit, but there’s other times when she really just has no sympathy and I feel like everything would be easier if she did. yesterday our one doctor was lagging really far behind and she was getting so annoyed because he had all this time for his appointments and people were having to wait and he never caught up all day; one of the clients ended up being one who was VERY particular about estimates and payments and shit and apparently he’d fucked something up after she had told him and the tech well ahead of time to be very careful with her. and she’d about had enough of him after that. by the end of the day he looked like he was either about to cry or had been crying. and he apologized to her for fucking up; I forget exactly what he said and she accepted his apology, but it almost seemed superficial. she had had it. the second she was done with her shit for the night she left. I stayed a few extra minutes to do something, but... like, even I could tell there was more to the story there. you don’t just lag all day for no reason, and especially not when you have to start the day on a euthanasia that wasn’t expected. I get that when you’ve worked with people for so many years you end up with a low tolerance for bullshit, but come on. I’ve been dealing with shitty people my whole life but I at least understand what it’s like to have a bad day. this particular doctor, a lottttt of the staff has a problem with, for many reasons. he’s only ever been nice to me, and I don’t know a lot of what goes on that annoys reception and the techs so much (often it’s some of his medical decisions, which... I wouldn’t know anything about that. how am I supposed to know what his rationale was for prescribing meloxidyl for a rhodesian ridgeback? the owner asked me for a refill and I requested it). so I guess some people’s patience runs low with him. but even so, I don’t think I could ever lack empathy that much. no matter how long I do this shit. I was tempted to ask him if he was okay, but I figured he had a lot on his plate to get to. he was there til like 10 last night, and his worklist was really long today too. I could tell he’s been on edge since last week. it’s not my business to know why, and I don’t have to. just be fucking nice to people, lmao

for someone who’s so picky about her music taste, she’s got no fucking right to talk about my eating. she won’t even venture outside the things she likes. she decides once that she doesn’t like something and that’s the end of it. so why is it suddenly a problem when I don’t want to try a variety of foods?

I’m just. really frustrated. I don’t want to have to vent about my coworkers but I’m not going to get through this easily. we don’t even know how long we’re going to have to do this. I found out today alexa’s husband is now in the hospital; they’re treating it like COVID and/or really bad pneumonia, but what the fuck does that mean for her team? for mine? did she bring germs to the clinic? is she going to have to quarantine along with her team? is my team going to have to run shit? I have no idea, and I only found out about this through facebook. I haven’t heard anything else from anyone. we do sanitize between teams so there’s a low risk of cross-contamination, but... we don’t get everything. there’s no way to.

I need to go to bed soon. I’m so glad tomorrow’s my friday. I’m ready for this week to be over.

[laylabahiti]

HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 

i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao

001. name / age / pronouns

2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad

002. which character(s) do you play?

2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.

004. tell us a bit about your  home state.

2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”

005.  favourite color / fruit / season

2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf

009. what’s your dream occupation?

2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao

010. relationship status

2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 

012. dream holiday destination?

2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’

014. tell us a bit about your family!

2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)

016. superpower you’d like to have?

2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 

018. guilty pleasures

2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.

019. pet peeves

2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up

020. do you have any hobbies?

2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.

021. where would you like to live in the future?

2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf

[vinylexams]

A very special fireside interview with XUXA SANTAMARIA

Check Insta for our thoughts on this landmark album from Oakland duo XUXA SANTAMARIA. Stay right where you are to read a really fun interview I scored with the band this week. They’ve just released Chancletas D’Oro on Ratskin Records out of Oakland and Michael blessed me with my very own copy. It was so good I knew I needed to tell you all about it and I wanted to pick their brains a little bit, too. Without further ado, please enjoy:

//INTERVIEW

You’re still breaking into indie world at large, but you’ve already got a huge following back in California and your home-base in Oakland. What has it been like to be featured in major outlets like The Fader?

SC: We are a funny project; we ebb and flow from being total hermits to having periods of relatively high visibility (relative to aforementioned hermit state). I wouldn’t say we have a huuuge following in CA but I do think that the ‘fandom’ we’ve developed here is really genuine because we don’t play shows out of an obligation to remain visible but instead do so because we feel super passionate about the work and the audience and I think people respond to that energy. I for one, and perhaps this is because of my background in performance, have a hard time performing the same stuff over and over without change which accounts for us being selective with our playing live. That’s also why videos are such an important part of what we’re about. The piece in The Fader was important to the launch of this album because it established some of the themes and, to an extent, the aesthetics of this album in a way that can be experienced outside of a live setting. None of this is to say we don’t like playing live, in fact we love it, we just like to make our sets pleasurable to ourselves and to our audience by constantly reworking it. We strike a weird balance for sure but we’ve made peace with it. If we ever ‘make it’ (lol) it’ll be on these terms.

Chancletas D'Oro is a pretty incredible record and while it reminds me of a few bands here or there, it’s got a really fresh and unique style that merges dance with all sorts of flavors. How would you describe your music to someone who is curious to listen?

MGK: Haha, we generally struggle to describe our music in a short, neat way (not because we make some kind of impossible-to-categorize music, but just because it’s the synthesis of a ton of different influences and it’s hard for US to perceive clearly). But with that caveat in mind - IDK, bilingual art-punk influenced dance/electronic music?

SC: Thank you for saying so, we’re pretty into it :) Like Matt says, we struggle to pin it down which I think is in part to what he says – our particular taste being all over the place, from Drexciya to The Kinks to Hector Lavoe- but I think this slipperiness has a relationship to our concept making and world building. As creative people we make and intake culture like sharks, always moving, never staying in one place too long. Maybe it’s because we’re both so severely ADHD (a boon in this instance tbh) that we don’t sit still in terms of what we consume and I think naturally that results in an output that is similarly traveling. Point is, the instance a set of words - ‘electronic’, ‘dance’, ‘punk’- feel right for the music is the same instance they are not sufficient. I propose something like: the sound of a rainforest on the edge of a city, breathy but bombastic, music made by machines to dance to, pleasurably, while also feeling some of the sensual pathos of late capitalism as seen from the bottom of the hill.

The internet tells me you’ve been making music as Xuxa Santamaria for a decade now. What has the evolution and development of your songwriting been like over those ten years?

MGK: Well, when we first started out as a band we were so new to making electronic music (Sofia’s background was in the art world and mine was in more guitar-based ‘indie rock’ I guess - lots of smoking weed and making 4 track tapes haha), so we legit forgot to put bass parts on like half the songs on our first album LOL. We’ve learned a lot since then! But in seriousness, we’ve definitely gotten better at bouncing ideas back and forth, at putting in a ton of different parts and then pulling stuff back, and the process is really dynamic and entertaining for both of us.

SC: This project started out somewhat unusually: I was in graduate school and beginning what would become a performance practice. I had hit a creative roadblock working with photography - the medium I was in school to develop- and after reading Frank Kogan’s Real Punks Don’t Wear Black felt this urge to make music as a document of experience following Kogan’s excellent essay on how punk and disco served as spatial receptacles for a wealth of experiences not present in the mainstream of the time. I extrapolated from this notion the idea that popular dance genres like Salsa, early Hip Hop, and Latin Freestyle among many others, had served a similar purpose for protagonists of a myriad Caribbean diasporas. These genres in turn served as sonic spaces to record, even if indirectly, the lived experiences of the coming and going from one’s native island to the mainland US wherein new colonial identities are placed upon you. From this I decided to create an alter ego (ChuCha Santamaria, where our band name originally stems from) to narrate a fantastical version of the history of Puerto Rico post 1492 via dance music. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing but I look back on that album (ChuCha Santamaria y Usted - on vinyl from Young Cubs Records) fondly. It’s rough and strange and we’ve come so far from that sound but it’s a key part of our trajectory. Though my songwriting has evolved to move beyond the subjective scope of this first album - I want to be more inclusive of other marginalized spaces- , it was key that we cut our teeth making it. We are proud to be in the grand tradition of making an album with limited resources and no experience :P

We’re a big community of vinyl enthusiasts and record collectors so first and foremost, thanks for making this available on vinyl. What does the vinyl medium mean to you as individuals and/or as a band?

MGK: I think for us, it’s the combination of the following: A. The experience of listening in a more considered way, a side at a time. B. Tons of real estate for graphics and design and details. C. The sound, duh!

SC: In addition to Matt’s list, I would just say that I approach making an album that will exist in record form as though we were honing a talisman. Its objecthood is very important. It contains a lot of possibility and energy meant to zap you the moment you see it/ hold it. I imagine the encounter with it as having a sequence: first, the graphics - given ample space unlike any other musical medium/substrate- begin to tell a story, vaguely at first. Then, the experience of the music being segmented into Side A and Side B dictate a use of time that is impervious to - at the risk of sounding like an oldie - our contemporary habit of hitting ‘shuffle’ or ‘skip’. Sequencing is thus super important to us (this album has very distinct dynamics at play between sides a/b ). We rarely work outside of a concept so while I take no issue with the current mode of music dissemination, that of prioritizing singles, it doesn’t really work for how we write music.

MGK: We definitely both remain in love with the ‘album as art object/cohesive work’ ideal, so I would say definitely - we care a lot about track sequencing, always think in terms of “Side A/Side B” (each one should be a distinct experience), and details like album art/inserts/LP labels etc matter a lot to us.

What records or albums were most important to you growing up? Which ones do you feel influenced your music the most?

SC: I know they’re canceled cus of that one guy but I listened to Ace of Base’s The Sign a lot as a kid and I think that sorta stuff has a way of sticking with you. I always point to the slippery role language plays in them being a Swedish band singing in English being consumed by a not-yet-English speaking Sofía in Puerto Rico in the mid 90s. Other influences from childhood include Garbage, Spice Girls, Brandy + Monica’s The Boy is Mine, Aaliyah, Gloria Trevi, Olga Tañon etc etc. In terms of who influences me now, that’s a moving target but I’d say for this album I thought a lot about the sound and style of Kate Bush, Technotronic, Black Box, Steely Dan, ‘Ray of Light’-era Madonna plus a million things I’m forgetting.

MGK: Idk, probably a mix of 70-80s art rock/punk/postpunk (Stooges, Roxy Music, John Cale, Eno, Kate Bush, Talking Heads, Wire, Buzzcocks, etc etc), disco/post-disco R&B and dance music (Prince, George Clinton, Chic, Kid Creole), 90s pop + R&B + hip hop (Missy & Timbaland, Outkast/Dungeon Family production-wise are obviously awe-inspiring, So So Def comps, Jock Jams comps, Garbage & Hole & Massive Attack & so on), and unloved pop trash of all eras and styles.

Do you have any “white whale” records that you’ve yet to find?

MGK: Ha - the truth is that we’re both much more of a “what weird shit that we’ve never heard of can we find in the bargain bin” type of record buyer than “I have a custom list of $50 plus records on my discogs account that I lust over”.

SC: Not really, I’m wary of collectorship. That sort of ownership might have an appeal in the hunt, once you have it do you really use it, enjoy it? Funnily, I have a massive collection of salsa records that has entries a lot of music nerds would cry over (though they’re far from good condition, the spines were destroyed by my Abuela’s cat, Misita lol, but some are first pressings in small runs). For me its value however, comes from its link to family, as documents from another time and as an amazing capsule of some of the best music out of the Caribbean. I’m glad I am their guardian (a lot of this stuff is hard to find elsewhere, even digitally) but I live with those records, they’re not hidden away in archival sleeves, in fact, I use some of that music in my other work. Other than that, the records I covet are either those of friends or copies of albums that hold significance but which are likely readily available, Kate Bush’s The Dreaming or Love’s Forever Changes, or The Byrds Sweetheart of The Rodeo as random examples

Finally, is there a piece of interesting band trivia you’ve never shared in another interview?

SC: haha, not really? Maybe that we just had a baby together?

//

Congrats on your new baby, and also for this wonderful new album. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and your music!