#idk like someone is like oh my dad was bad

[crossmyheartwonttellnoother]

hc that andrew laughs but only at neil's deranged jokes

[lunarkittenn]

I rarely take pictures anymore. It’s like I just don’t want to remember any moment from this part of my life lol

[bangcakes]

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[spideyhexx]

i had a normal anxiety with dentists until a dentist just shoved a needle in my mouth without letting me know. which they knew to tell me what they would do before they did it. during the car ride there next time i had a panic attack and ever since i've had a phobia of dentists

yeah :/ I’m so sorry you had that experience, a dentist or any doctor for that matter, should make you comfortable and aware of things! I’ve been to multiple dentists throughout my life and have a hard time with that sort of care because of my experiences so i completely get it!

[professorllayton]

i watched the first 2 episodes of reacher w my dad when they first came out and i really. it was the most dull bland boring show ive ever seen in all my life.

[running-in-the-dark]

hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

haha people who have normal relationships with their fathers where they didn’t grow up being constantly made to feel dumb/unimportant/annoying…. what’s that like babes hahaha

[do-rey-me]

you are the world.

as you lay dying in a hospital bed

we take a moment to breathe in

(we do not know this is a dangerous thing yet)

the air free of the chemicals and beeping and rushing we have grown accustomed to

we try and eat something that is not bland

the shops are closed

as you are dying, the world is dying with you.

when we had first arrived, the staff had thought i was old

they had me sign paperwork and give medical information for your stay as your next of kin

they looked in my eyes and saw my future

(Apollo was God of prophecy and medicine both)

knew i would command your fate into the ground

knew i would not condemn you to that terror of cremation

your family arrives

(black birds following armies, knowing that a feast will be served)

they always do, for matters they consider important

first arrives your sister

(i forget which one)

she is kind to me, of course

she dances around the obvious, of course

she is surprised that my mother and stepfather are there,

although she tries to hide it

at some point, there is a meeting around whether or not

you would want to have donated yourself to help others

(why is that information not already available?)

i don’t know for certain what you would say, but i tell them to do it anyway

(forgive me, for not asking)

(forgive me, for not saying hello)

(forgive me, for waiting until i was grown to talk)

your sister tries to give you your Last Rites while my family is away

the Priest, the Doctors, they all tell her no

she tries anyway

(i understand, she is trying to help)

(i understand, she does not know you)

your Mother arrives.

(so does her husband and my uncle)

i don the armor ive been welding for my (your) life (death)

I greet her with respect, we go through the motions of grief before death

(i do not give her my True Name, i do not eat of her food, i do not give her any debts)

(i am a changeling child, i know her kind well)

i prepare myself for real battles to begin.

the rest of the players trickle in

the family

your friends

(your friends go through your house, giving most to me. neither side asks, so no debt is owed)

(i do not have to go myself)

(it is one less battle to fight)

my mother becomes my second-in-command easily, as if she never even stopped

she is water, flowing and changing

she is rock, steady and tethering

here is how the war is fought

in uncomfortable hospital chairs, we talk, your family and i

your mother takes charge on her side

i take charge on mine

we are outnumbered, but we have legal power over your decisions

and their time is running out.

as per the rules set long ago, we must remain respectful. polite.

they are your family. they raised you. you are their precious son.

(you were born out of wedlock. you abandoned the faith. you raised a queer.)

my mother abandoned you. my stepfather must hate you. your friends are irrelevant.

(you were my mother’s best friend. you got my stepfather to branch out. your friends built a boat to burn for you)

but me? i am your child. you are my precious father, my world, who i am losing.

so when i tell them that you would want to be buried without a box, to feed the earth and let the worms eat your flesh?

they cannot oppose me directly.

most of your family ignores your brother, my uncle

they can’t understand the words he says so they think him infantile

when they aren’t ignoring him, they are Handling him

they tell him you are dying in little words

“Pete isn’t going to be around anymore soon”

they say in falsetto tones

they do not let him grieve. they do not let him love.

i do not let the rage boil under my skin

i do not let myself mourn that with your passing he will be taken away as well

it will not help him. it will not help you.

i often can’t understand what my uncle says either, but that’s not new

the wind likes to play tricks on me, tying words into knots before they reach my ears

i am one of the few that treats him like the eldest child he will soon be

he is one of the few that treats me like the child i shall still be for two years yet

so between battles, sitting amongst the corpses of words, we sit in silence,

and we draw

your death is scheduled

it has to be, to harvest what they can from you, to save who they can

there is ceremony to what comes after

they bring the body up, and we walk down the hall with it

doctors and nurses line the halls, giving respect to what we have lost

giving respect to what you have given that will save others

the only sound the whole way is my uncle’s sobs

i don’t know if he hates that it was a child, your child, who was the one comforting him

and so the world ends.

the funeral seems dull in comparison to the honor walk

sure, your family made a scene,

but my mother took the narrative back

and anyway.

by that point the fight was over

your wishes were respected

i had won.

the next day,

we went home.

and we didn’t come out.

and so the world ends.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[peapod20001]

Haha don’t pay me any mind oho

[sudoscience]

Man, I wish I was as hot irl as my fursona is

[irulancorrino]

dad called me out of the blue to insist I read an article he just sent me. the article, which actually turned out to be a blog post, is about how antidepressants and such are a scam and basically a conspiracy to “stop overpopulation”, whatever that means. he then proceeded to tell me that my cheeks look rounder than usual, and upon seeing that part of my meal was potatoes (I was eating breakfast when he called), went off on a rant about how of course I’m gaining weight.

how am I supposed to function for the rest of the day when I’m fuming

[siriuslynephilim]

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[ex-furry]

hiiii i don't think i've seen you on my dash in a long time but wanted to say i hope you're doing well

hiiiiii ty this is so sweet 💓 i've been doing pretty well, just focusing on getting my new cat acclimated to our house and the dog (queen has conjunctivitis though 💔). for some reason i stopped scrolling tumblr around the time i was having panic attacks that felt like heart attacks and didn't even start again once i was put on propranolol. ptsd brain has been bad recently too but we push through 💪

i haven't been online though and i want to be included and say. you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum(s) where they raised me

[mbat]

wait no im still thinking about how that one dancer on agt danced to 'the village' by wrabel. like that was wild because like... that song is trans, like its blatantly about being trans. and afaik the guy is cis

of course anyone can do whatever they want with a song, and interpret it however, but like. that was so wild to me. mostly cause it was on agt, a massively watched show that most people at least know about if not watch

like. damn. ok

[yoohyeon]

Saw that the Tumblr icon on my iPad changed so I went to see what’s up and WE FINALLY CAN REPLY WITH THE BLOG WE WANT !!! THANK YOU !!! Now staff make it so when you block someone it’s block on all sb too thanks I’m tired of blocking 3 times