#idk why im posting her here too but here she is. yeah ill probably be doing this with everyone </3 no i will not make individual posts for

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

[ria-starstruck]

not posting this on artfight until i get roxanne's ref done but yippeee petra here she is

[jellitchi]

vat7k designs in my head...

i thought their canon designs were a eensy weensy bit Unpolished so i made these mostly for myself. erm if u rly want it i think varian is 19 here, hugo 19, nuru 18, yong 12.

i also made rhem all playlists and had to draw them a cover so thats what the last img is I linked each of em under my notes for all of em... Under the cut is Like a Huge Infodump of notes i have for each chara,,,,,,

i kept varians design basically the same, i dislike the design w the orange neck thing so i just Nuked it😭... Here's Varians playlist

Hugos design i just wanted to put him in something more Loose. hes a thief, a professional escape artist. i dont think wearing clunky metal is ideal for him. i also gave him a prosthetic arm (blond w no arm design trope!) but u cant see it in the ref so i added another drawing of him in his under layering👍 i vaguely referenced russian(?) clothes for him as well... Yeah not too much changed w him i just tried to make him slippery-er. Here's Hugo's playlist

yong came relatively easy to me, if it wasn't obvious i did rip gaming from g*nshin's hoodie. i thought the lion hood was Adorable and freaking perfect for what i had in mind for hos character. since the og notes said the fire kingdom is loosely Chinese inspired i basically just kept that. i mashed tgt a buncha diff dynasties though sorry for how inconsistent i was... i think he looks Okay. anyways i changed yongs role a bit, ill explain why im adjusting some of their roles later but i kept yong as the Jinx Type character. hes the eldest in his family and has a buncha younger siblings, hes a lion dancer and does performances w his family/siblings. he rly like special effects n keeps tryna incorporate his fireworks into their performances (it flops and he has to sew up the dmg) ill explain more of yongs role in another post maybe shrugs... Here's Yong's Playlist

miss nuru was a bit of a struggle for me i might share my full design process with her coz i did a Bunch of mockups for her😭😭😭... i didnt have a specific country of reference for her but i chose to make her vaguely south asian inspired. i also really wanted to keep the sheer fabric w the star / constellation map. i love that idea its so cute so shes still technically the navigator. but she also wields a sword too, fencing or whatever. (her and varian r Huge Cass fangirls which is probably why she started tryna use a sword (snuck out to watch cass compete) Okay ill talk abt this later) in my head, okay ill Probably make a whole nother post talking abt how im interpreting/writing each chara, but in my head i think nuru is the youngest and her kingdom's archivist. shes mostly in charge of like Her kingdoms history / artifacts / etc. ok im getting too side tracked ill save the lore dump for later but thats Nurus role in the party. Here's Nuru's Playlist

uhm below i made their character stats mostly to help me with planning / role developing. the yellow is their base stats the color behind is their end stats i guess. i was gonna explain my reasoning for their stats but ermm this post is kinda Really long so sorry😭... varian max int for obvious reasons, also max charisma just coz i feel like u kinda learn a thing or two being around a couple manipulators and spending time in jail idk shrugs... (also lets not forget the "ud b surprised what ppl would do for a cookie!") Hugo slippery guy, if a brick is thrown at him as hes running hes gonna try n run faster to shatter it, his mindset is Run Run Run! i think hes relatively agile too but yeah mostly a Speedster. i think he n varian got no Physical strength varian maybe just like A little coz Farm boy but I rly doubt quirin is making him do a Lotta heavy lifting. yong has incredible stamina and agility because hed a performer. nuru is the strongest coz this team would literally Flop without a proper Offense😭... i think varian n hugo r able to outwit plenty of their opponents but i think nuru is pretty good in a fight, same w yong. Yeah Okay Sorry for a Long Long Post thanks hope u guys enjoy

[exhosionn]

i’ve been here for a while and i still don’t know how to use this app anyways i need somewhere to post all my really random sampard headcannons so here we are honestly it’s really just random bullet points i’ve compiled and also most of this was written at 2am so there might be some spelling mistakes.. probably one other thing to mention, im not a lore reader,, i’ve been trying to recently because i find it really interesting but any details i’ve missed is bc i haven’t read it all yet 💔💔

gepard although hes not too great at taking plants (hes def trying tho) id like to think in his spare time he has like a book on floriography and goes to flower shops to buy sampo flowers with specific meanings?(like he goes to a flower shop and requests very specific types of flower arrangements)

sampo knows a LOT of things about belebog that no one else does some kind of like historical knowledge however i think the reason why sampo wont actually KNOw any floropgraphy is because with all his vast knowledge from across the universe as a masked fool, why would he bother to know something as ‘mundane’ as the meaning behind flowers.

to link to that, i think with sampos big world he sorrta gets dragged down to belebog in like a nice way and through gepard learns that the small things in life ACTUALLY matter or they noow matter. so for example these flowers he gets he never knows the meaning of them, def gets flustered by gepard initiating anything at all lmao.

i think sampo would ask around the underworld such as natasha, seele, even hook tbh about the meaning behind these flowers usually getting information from natasha. BUT he doesnt just outright ask he would like slip it into conversation because hes sly like that. Natasha very obviously catches on quite early on and although shes not as knowledgeable with the meanings she still retains enough information for sampo to start relying on her to help decode gepards bouquet.

one way or another serval catches wind of this (through natasha) and i think thats how she connects the dots

sampo most definitely leaves back notes with kisses on them on gepards windowsill (gep leaves his windows unlocked always.)

i can also imagine sampo to ‘retaliate’ somehow finding some extinct belobog flower and gifting it to geppie being all like ‘i bet ya can’t find the meaning behind this one’ lolll

gepard is a gay in denial in the sense that hes never had a crush on a woman but he sees madam poisson and he has a MASSIVE crush on her. everytime serval asks him if hes gay he brings up his ‘past’ crush on madam poisson.

gepard the 'nuh-uh' vs serval the 'yuh-huh’

serval has gepard as "gay man sighted in belobog" in her phone - sampard nation gave me these last two

serval and natasha they totally hang out at natasha’s clinic occasionally idk why i just see it

sampo kisses the scars on geps body

gep is taller w shoes one but actually shorter than sampo usually but no one believes sampo when he says thisn bc no one sees gep without his boots off.

sampo could be having the most absolute worst day and see gepard and feel beter same works for gepard except he doesnt realise it as much because gepard is more like ‘huh my headache clears from seeing sampo yeah he just uh annoys me so much that i think my heacache is clearing hahahaha’

soarkle and sampo sibling dynamic seems really funny but at times i also dont see it if we apply the whole sampo might be an emanator theory idk i think its silly at times but sometime it doesnt make sense….

on the other hand although it doesnt logically work sampo and seele sibling dynamic i actually really like it like a lot

i feel like gepard wears grampa pajamas?

although gepard def gets flustered by sampos flirting all the time, the one who actually initiated anything i believe would be gepard (ill go more into why i think so at a later date)

both of them are really light sleepers and have trouble sleeping all the time

also gep likes to hold onto sampo a lot when they fall asleep cuz he get scared that sampo might just leave randomly

i love these two sosososo much im going insane i need more headcannons to fill the brainrot

[transmascanakin]

For the varmitech bro au

1. Does Martin remember Chris? Does he know how he could've/should've looked like?

2. How brainwashed is Chris? How much does he actually believe?

3. Do the Kratt parents take any role in the au?

4. Can we get more Tortuga crew??? How does Martin deal with missions alone, how do the others react to him?

Ty for the ask anon ! Honestly some of these questions are things i originally wanted to include in the explanation post but ended up deleting because i didnt want to make it too lengthy so Im glad to talk about them now!

1. Martin doesnt remember Chris clearly, he has some blurry memories and flashes but its mostly the feelings he remembers if that makes sense. Like how he was close with Chris and loved him a lot, the feeling of fear everyone felt when Chris went missing and the despair when no one could give them closure, how lonely he felt after.

He doesnt really know what Chris could look like, maybe he likes to imagine, but you cant really get accurate answers like that. Also with cases like his you often see detectives constructing images of what the missing kids could look like now years later and I thought about Chris getting one of these done but he probably would only do that if he sorted through everything else because while Martin thinks his brother is alive, Chris firmly believes that he died a long time ago. He doesnt really think the image would be useful

2. Hes half brainwashed and half doesnt remember a lot of things naturally because of a traumatic reaction. What he has been told was that they have been through a traumatic accident (like a car crash) of some kind that damaged his brain temporarily and thats why he barely remembers anything from his early childhood and has some memories that never actually happened (the memories of the Kratt family) and he believes thats true because frankly, he has no reason not to. Maybe he questioned it when he was younger, but as an adult your childhood memories get really blurry (especially if youve been through something traumatic) so he kind of just accepted the car crash excuse to be true. He suspects there's something hes not being told but he doesn't even think of him being kidnapped as a possibility

3. A little, yes ! The reason Martin wanted his brothers case to be investigated again was actually because of how bad it affected his parents even after 20 years, which is just the sad reality of missing child cases. This part is unfortunately not that well developped yet, but maybe the Kratt brothers father fell really ill and Martin was worried hed have to pass away without knowing what happened to Chris, or maybe they got divorced after not being able to move on from the incident evem after all that time, ill have to think about it but whatever happened motivated Marin to contact detective Chris.

Either way I do have 2 scenes in my head that include atleast one of them ! The first one is where Chris and Martin go back to Martins childhood home to search the area again, and they briefly talk to mama Kratt who still lives here, and she takes one look at Chris with a mothers eye and thinks "wow he looks exactly like Chris" and although she doesnt believe its actually him she does think its some sign from the universe or idk something sentimental !! I just rhink itd be sweet of her. I also think itd be interesting from the pov of Chris because this is a maternal figure who treats him really nice and he just cant help but notice how different his mom is from Martins yk sad feelings...

Also Chris gets to reunite with his parents after everything goes down :)

4. Hell Yeah!!

Martins missions here are a bit more professional as he doesnt really have anyone to goof around with but he still has fun because he gets to gush about animals to the team.!! (He definitely wishes he had someone with him out in the field) Also i guess the villains are also interesting here because dealing with them alone causes confrontations to drag out, and they also become harder and more serious, especially with Zach as he got a big advantage with 'the crawler'. Aviva does jump in to help a lot but shes a bit limited because at this point she hasnt finished making her own cps yet (this might become relevant later i havent decided yet.)

In the last part I assume you were asking about how they feel about Chris, and they do meet a lot while Martin and Chris are working on the investigation, and Koki actually helps them a lot with her computer skills. The crew also grows pretty close to Chris, i mean he kinda just clicks with them, and he latches onto them a lot as he hasnt really had proper friends before. Like ever. Basically theyre just found family i love them. !!!

Sorry for making this so long haha I just love talking about this au... I hope these answers satisfied!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

alright next up on the list of ideas to dredge up from the drafts and talk about in more detail is the focus on books in this season, because its driving me around the bend

but because i literally have no answers whatsoever to this, im just going to do a crowley-core #justgirlythings and just ask questions:

ep2 goob (rip) lines: "books are key!" which ok yeah obvious but:

"and see, the big ones can be used as fly swats - and i know what you're thinking, but it's okay, because the beauty part is, it never works!"... hmmmm

but also earlier on, goob asks aziraphale "what [letter] comes after 'K'?", which is 'L', but goob then immediately refers back to his book that he's alphabetising, which is A Tale of Two Cities, and that starts with 'it'...? so why highlight the letter 'L'? (this might be something of nothing but given Book of Life idk could literally have been ANY other letter)

but then we have the rest of the episodes that cascaded from the two things above; first, the book blueprint of the universe in ep1, which AWCW was referring to, but only from page 11 onwards (so what was on pages 1-11?):

ep2: crowley discovering that jane austen wrote books (like, other than it being a comedic point of their conflicting remembrance of her as a person, and gives the "you think you know someone!" foreshadowing, it felt very pointed that crowley learns that she was a writer as well)

ep2 also sees aziraphale looking at a huge tome which, given everything that's going on, seems weird that he'd be randomly consulting? idk what the book is so not doubling down on this... anyone know if ive just missed something obvious?

but also makes a point of consulting the bible after goob recites what god said to job in the bookshop. which, given that he and crowley readily recognise what god says (he even says to crowley, "I most certainly do [remember]"), seems weird that they'd need to consult a book to remind them who job was and his story... could be exposition and for the cool fall-through effect, but possibly felt a bit unneeded. plus, it got aziraphale so absorbed that he totally conked out and missed crowley leaving the shop:

aziraphale writing in his diary at his desk on his bed, lying in his tummy, feet kicking in the air, in ep3:

the magician's pamphlet that not only follows aziraphale's epiphany of realising he's in love with crowley but also literally sets up the opportunity for aziraphale to demonstrate how much he trusts him, and is ultimately used against them in being discovered as (at least) being traitors to their respective sides:

plus the Hoffman book, and the angel field-guide:

like, oversimplifying, but literally all of ep5 being based on jane austen works

emphasis on muriel wanting to read books in the background of the Showdown going on in ep6, being chucked The Crow Road by crowley, and metatron being weirdly interested in the fact that they're reading it... like, how would he not know what a book is? why is it "excellent", and a "perfectly splendid thing to do"? odd choice of words even if you want them to take over the bookshop:

now this one i can believe is literally just about goob in the shop and that's fine, but again the emphasis on books anyway (and also michael's weirdly strong but conflicting memory? might write a different post about that bc i think michael got got by metatron somewhere along the line):

back to ep2 but fitting to bookend on:

so okay yeah sure, im certain the book of life comes into all of this somewhere (ive posted about it here but im fairly certain it's not what heaven/hell seems to claim it is, and i think only the metatron truly knows that). there's been a lot of emphasis on memory too in this season, but taking that out of the equation a minute, the main things giving me heebie-jeebies is goob's line about using big books as fly swats, and obviously metty-babes' weird reaction to the crow road...

idk where im going with this and ill probably look at this again but all of this was floating around my noggin and i couldn't take it anymore

[w0w0zella]

um hello!!! im gonna be making a. bugbo murderstuck au Masterpost of sorts! I guess! ill format it like a q&a but im making up some of these questions myself. So lets get into it :3

this is a really long post! b careful :3

"what is murderstuck?" murderstuck is a Bugbo AU that made/am making (complicated wip status lol)! its a story that takes place a month and a bit after the events of familiar foe. Very long story short, gerbo ends up getting killed (on accident), joe then kills bugbo (On purpose) and joe seeks out thomas flyswatter for help. i have a post here that goes more into the story if you'd like to see it! vvv https://www.tumblr.com/w0w0zella/728157783124574208/ill-post-these-together-awawy-from-the-rest-of-the?source=share 

currently it is a well defined plot line that i and a couple other people have made art for,, and a work in progress fanfiction!

"why is it called "murderstuck"?"

murderstuck is actually (Believe it or not lol) a Homestuck thing! murderstuck is a specific part in act 5 act 2 of homestuck where one character kills someone and then someone else kills THEM, so i was like  Fuck yeah that makes total sense for this au. In all honesty, i just called it that cuz i needed a name to jump back to in discord for easy finding and it. Stuck i guess GIGGLES lol.

i am currently.  Semi looking for new name suggestions! so if anyone has any ideas !!!   Tell me !! Please !! I have No idea!! ((by the way, because murderstuck is already technically a thing, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by all the homestuck art :3

(question by geluga on discord) "where did joe get his cleaver ? is it the same way he just happened to have an axe in episode 2 or is it from something else?"

yeah no i didnt really think out him having a meat cleaver lol. lets say thaat. umm. He got it becuase he was preparing bugbo a Yummy Meal (Steak is his Favourite or some  shit idk) !!!

i do NOT rmember why i gave him a meat cleaver aswell. If you want a Good answer, the reason i gave him a meat cleaver and not his Trusty Axe is because his axe would have been far too dull and bulky to slit bugbos throat. if you want the TRUE answer Its because i forgot he had an axe at all and thought the meat cleaver would look cool

(question by onyx on discord) "did gj feel bad after The thing or did he feel like totally justified"

AMAZING QUESTION !!!! Gradient Joe feels EXTREME remorse. of course when he looks back on it he knows why he did it, but if we're being completely honest; bugbo was immobilized. he did not need to kill bugbo. if he had killed him while bugbo was choking him, that would be a different story. but he killed him while he was backed up into a tree, immobilized and begging for his life.

he feels extremely bad ! Very extremely bad!

(question from ANON in my ASK BOX) "DUDE I LOVE YOUR AU SM RAUGHHHHH also question uhh where is hoppo in the au? we havent really heard about her"

So. During the events of this au. she is. away. like she usually is. Dont really know where! Shopping at grocery market. back at war. lost at sea. you decide. (More info on hoppo in the next question

(question by kets on discord) "uuhhmmmm what is the absolute WORST ending this au could have realistically?????????? like if it didn't end whene thomas was ocmforting joe idk :3333333"

OKAY i coudl see this one of a couple ways. First way is, bugbo wins. bugbo succeeds in choking joe to death, And now he is alone (til hoppo gets back) i said this one first cuz its probably not the worst possible thing, but i think it would be pretty terrible!

second worst would be if Joe waited for hoppo to come back instead of going to thomas for help. In my humble opinion, i think that hoppo is very stubborn and VERY loyal. so. (to me at least) it stands to reason that if hoppo came back, she would side with bugbo VERY hard. she would probably fucking hate joes guts, and that would be the worst  thing for him after everything he already went through. Maybe they would Fight too idk…

Very first worst would be if joe just straight up killed himself after killing bugbo. I could see this as a thing he contemplated, but if he actually went through with it?  Oh my god Fucking imagine. all of there corpses there for hoppo to find when she comes back. Thomas rotting away in his lair without anyone to talk to (and without knowledge of bugbos death) for years? Devastating.

other notable endings include Joe OR bugbo Killing themselves directly after gerbos death, hoppo ending up killing joe out of anger when she comes back, Or (In a silly alternate universe that We made on Disc Ord…) bugbo comes BACK to life and DRAGS himself to go kill joe HIMSELF!!!!!!

(question by DEMO on DISCORD) "is gradient joe book smart or money smart" i am going to kill myself and its your fault i think. never speak to me again (Joke)

NOTABLE INFORMATION:

as stated before, you need to tag murderstuck posts with #bugbo murderstuck or #bugbo murderstuck au or else it will be drowned out by Homestuck stuff !! i want to see all of your art and things!! Thank you!!

you are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED to make stuff surrounding this au! Please Please Show It To Me!!!

if you are drawing During Fight or. During Murdering bugbo or joe, here are some things to note! - bugbo attempts to choke joe to death during a part in the fight, and he almost succeds! This causes Permanent scarring on gradient joes neck, and scratch marks all over bugbos arms from joe clawing at them!!!

- joe ends the fight with his shirt partially open and his tie missing!

- joe breaks bugbos right leg! there is a noticable gash on his inner right knee!

- joe kills bugbo by slitting his throat with a meat cleaver!- after joe is done, he drags bugbos body over to where gerbo died! (he was crushed by the fallen Stone Structure!)

thank you all so much for the love and support with this au It means so much to me. thank you from the botom of my hart.  IF YOU HAVE ANY COOL IDEAS, MORE QUESTIONS, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA SHOW/TELL ME, MY MESSAGES AND ASK BOX ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!!!!

[sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare]

A Poet Could Not But Be Gay — part 2

Part 1

Pairing: college!au Ellie Williams x f!reader

summary: You and Ellie text after you like her post and see each other in class again. You talk to each other, slowly growing closer.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mutual pining, reader has no rizz, anxiety, English class

a/n: M (minors and men) DNI, please! Y'all I can't believe you guys gave me 34 notes on my first-ever fic!!! I'm literally on top of the world and it really motivated me to write another chapter so here it is!! 😁

-------------------------------------

Ellie Williams: Hey stalker (;

You were frozen. Your breath had caught in your throat and you felt your entire body burning up as though you'd throw up at any second. Your phone screen had gone black by then and you only had time to blink before another notification came in.

Ellie Williams added you as a friend.

Finally, you were able to breathe. What the fuck is happening!? you thought. She has to be playing some kind of prank on me 'cause no one should be this cool about a random girl like a — how old was it? 5-week-old picture!

You decided that the best thing to do was to respond. She already knew you were online and you would only look more guilty if you ignored her. Ellie had caught you red-handed, sure, but she didn't need to know why you were looking her up. You started typing, probably taking way longer than you should to write a simple text.

you: hey! sorry i was just struggling with the homework and youre the only person i knew from that class so i looked you up

you: how are you handling the last minute assignment she sent us?

Really? A double text seconds after I was caught stalking her? I'm fucking dead. Every second that passed by felt like an hour. You were biting your nails, staring at the screen impatiently. She hadn't even seen it yet and you felt like she was judging you through the phone. After one minute, she opened the chat and started typing. Looking at those three taunting dots, you couldn't help but imagine all the texts she could be writing. Nightmarish thoughts were flying through your brain when her text finally appeared.

Ellie Williams: Oh fuck I hadn't even seen that email! What kind of psychopath of a teacher sends an assignment at 6pm?

You let out a relieved sigh, thankful she hadn't asked any questions regarding your lie. Your shaking thumbs started typing but you received another text.

Ellie Williams: And who even has a favourite poem to write 500 words about

Ellie Williams: Well you definitely do

You had to read that twice. She remembers about my poem. Your small smile grew into a grin, and the little exhale from your nose grew into a fit of giggles. You rolled onto your back before remembering you had to answer her.

you: im glad i was able to tell you about the assignment! and yeah i have a favourite poem and i absolutely LOVE telling people about it but i know how scatterbrained i can be so idk if ill be able to make sense

The two of you texted back and forth for a few minutes but your shyness held you back and your conversation eventually dwindled. After several minutes of radio silence on both ends, your phone vibrated again.

Ellie Williams: Well I'm gonna start writing that paper but I'll see you on Wednesday!

you: good luck with that!

you: cant wait to see you again :)

You held your breath, frightened by your boldness.

Ellie Williams: Don't miss me too much (;

You honestly thought you could have died at that moment. And there was that winking face again. You couldn't believe your clumsy mistake had led you to have an actual conversation! Outside of school! Sure it was mainly about your shared class but now it felt more personal. She wasn't just "Ellie, the hot girl from my poetry class" anymore. She was Ellie Williams, the charming girl you'd met in class and befriended and fell in love with and moved in with and married and — ok now. I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I don't even know her favourite colour yet. I don't even know if she likes girls, let alone me!

You decided that the best thing for you to do now was to focus on your assignment. It wouldn't take very long but at least it would keep your mind occupied for a little while.

Though the poem was about the beauty of nature and all it has to offer, you couldn't help but relate every verse to Ellie.

"they / Out-did the sparkling waves in glee" Ellie outdoes everyone and everything. There was not a single thing you could think of that you would rather look at than Ellie. There was no sound you'd rather hear than her laugh and no word you'd rather read than hers. I'm so fucking gay, it's ridiculous, you thought.

Some verses you felt rather poetic about, while others felt like they were describing the slight gay panic you'd had upon first seeing her, "I gazed — and gazed — but little thought". That's exactly how you'd felt. You'd stared at her sheer beauty and focused on nothing but her. The only thing you could remember from your time staring at her was the warmth that had formed in your belly and the tingling in your face.

You had known this girl for barely 8 hours and you could already see her in everything. Fuck, this is gonna hurt.

-------------------------------------

Tuesday was somewhat uneventful. You'd been awoken by your alarm once again and had rolled over to check your phone. You were barely awake when you saw that Ellie had changed your name on messenger to "y/n🌸". Has she been thinking about me? you thought with a grin plastered to your face. Before you had time to overthink, you quickly changed her name to "Ellie 😉".

Neither of you texted the other again until Wednesday. It was a cool and cloudy day meaning everything had grey undertones and you refused to let yourself darken because of some stupid clouds. That's why you chose to wear your long sleeve, bright yellow shirt underneath short, green overalls.

The sky might be grey and sad but I'm looking like a ray of fucking sunshine! you told yourself in the mirror. The colour you wore made you feel invincible, as though you could conquer the world and make it bright again.

Eventually, after an interminable lecture, you were sat at your seat in your and Ellie's shared class, awaiting the girl herself. To busy yourself, you started taking out your books and laptop, putting your pens neatly out onto your side of the desk. While you were distracted, Ellie walked into the class.

Ellie's thoughts

Ellie's mind was racing, trying to figure out what to say to you when she saw you. She knew she would say hi; that was a given. But what then? She didn't want to just be an acquaintance to you. She wanted to be on your mind as much as you were on hers, which was constantly. Dreams of you consumed her nights which she loved until she woke up and realized you had barely talked to each other.

When she walked into the classroom, she nearly froze in the doorframe. Of course, she thought, on a gross day like this, she has to look like a ray of fucking sunshine. It was as though you were trying to make her fall head over heels for you.

When she started walking normally again, your head popped up and a genuine smile graced your lips. Ellie felt like the Earth had stopped spinning and smiled back with false confidence. She sat down next to you and told you her scripted, "Hi," in her usual, honeyed voice, adding an improvised, "how you doing?", proud she hadn't stumbled over her words.

"Hi," you answered, voice quieter than hers, "I'm doing pretty good. I actually finished the assignment on time, so the semester's off to a good start!" you said with a laugh.

Ellie laughed back, happy you had initiated a topic so she would get to keep talking with you. "Wow! Three whole days in and no late assignments yet! I'm extremely impressed." she replied, the glee evident in her tone.

You giggled and said, "You should be!"

There was a beat of silence and she was scared you had run your conversation to its course before it had even started. Then you surprised her by asking, "How have you been?"

She looked up at you, taking a few seconds to admire every line and curve in your face. "Oh, you know," she said, "I've been busier now that school started up again but I've been good." She paused for a second and continued, "I haven't been too busy to figure it out though."

A smile crept onto your face and she thanked her lucky stars that she'd kept talking. "Figure what out?" you asked.

With slightly shaking hands she hoped you wouldn't notice, she reached out to your arm and pushed up the sleeve of your shirt to reveal the tattoo you'd shown her. "This," she said looking back up, her eyes boring into yours, "It's Wordsworth right?" You nod and she goes on, "That's a sick name for a poet. I read the poem and I have to say, you've got some good taste, pretty girl." The name just slipped out of her mouth. Her eyes widened and she noticed your smile falter. She pulled away from your arm.

She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure but you spoke before she could, "I feel like with a name like that, he couldn't really go into any other profession, you know." you laughed dryly, clearly trying to ease the tension.

She laughed the same dry laugh and let out a quiet, "Yeah, he had to go into writing."

Luckily, your awkward moment only lasted a short time and Ellie was saved from any further embarrassment as your professor began her lecture.

About 30 minutes into the lecture, Ellie was flipping the pages of her textbook like crazy, trying to find the poem the class was discussing. She figured you had noticed her struggling because you tapped her on the arm and whispered the page number. She thanked you and started flipping to that page. In doing so, however, a page managed to slice through her skin, causing her to flinch and immediately suck on her cut.

She was cursing the paper when you tapped her arm again. She turned to you, finger still between her lips. You gave her a small smile and lifted something in your hand, "Do you need a bandaid?" you whispered. How could she say no when you were looking at her like that, big doe eyes full of concern.

She took her finger out of her mouth and agreed with a low, "Sure". Before she could do anything else, you grabbed her hand and wrapped the bandaid around her injured finger. Ellie could only stare at you, marveling at the care you gave to such a minor cut. "Thanks, y/n" she whispered. She thought she may have caught a glimpse of a blush on your cheeks but you had turned your head too quickly for her to tell for sure.

When she picked up her pen, she got her first good look at what you'd wrapped around her finger and laughed to herself. Of fucking course this personified beam of sunlight would carry around flower bandaids. I'm never taking this off. she thought as she admired her finger.

Back to your thoughts

You were looking up front but your mind was nowhere near whatever subject the professor was talking about. I touched Ellie! you though. Not the other way around! I touched her arm and then her hand! I'm gonna pass out. You were ecstatic, to say the least. You couldn't wait to call Taylor and tell her everything that happened during this second class with Ellie.

Soon enough, the class ended and you started packing your books. You got up, still giddy from excitement, and got ready to say goodbye to Ellie. She stood up after a few moments and spoke first, "So I was thinking," she said, her usual confidence seemingly vanished, "if you wanted to study or do assignments for this class, I'm free in the afternoon on Thursdays. We could meet in the library if you want. Or not even necessarily for this class, like, we could study for any class together if that was something you were interested in."

You gave her a quick open-mouthed smile. "Yeah!" you beamed, "Yeah that definitely sounds good. I know a secret spot in the library nobody ever goes to so we won't even need to worry about other people."

"Sounds great. I'll see you tomorrow then."

You both hesitated a little before moving to leave the classroom, and then again in the hallway, not sure of where the other was going. Seemingly amused by this, judging by the smirk on her face, Ellie put her hand on the small of your back, guided you in the direction you'd been headed in, and walked backward in the opposite direction.

"Bye, pretty girl!"

-------------------------------------

Part 3

a/n: I got a little carried away in this one... Did you see how much touching there was! Whoo, that was borderline smut! But I told you there would be more talking! Also, I am obsessed with Romantic poetry, specifically William Wordsworth so sorry if there was too much of him in this chapter but I really love his work! You guys should all read "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud". It's a really short poem that may or may not have made me shed a tear. Anyway, leave any ideas you have for this story in the comments! I can't wait to see what you think!!

ps: lemme know if you wanna get tagged in the next one!

tags: @lonelyfooryouonly

[elena-oc-blog]

me yesterday: I probably wont do any illustrations yet because ive done quite a lot of drawing and im low on inspiration and confidence in my techniques me later that same day: *sees post by @tetrameryxx that inspires me to go check out my old 3DS art to see if I can do something fun with it and then decides to redraw this drawing from january 2013 with my current skillset* SO YEAH here is an illustration for you guys!!

The characters depicted here are creatively named Speck and Kiwi. Kiwi is Speck's mom as she hatched his egg when she found it abandoned. So now her son gives her rides sometimes! Who said kiwis can't fly!

Why did I make a kiwi hatch a dragon egg? Idk ask 2013 me, i drew so much random stuff back then. I am not sure if these OCs will be drawn again, maybe ill redraw the previous parts too? Said parts:

Or maybe I will make more whimsical illustrations of them idk, they are pretty forgotten OCs that I havent drawn much past their original set of drawings. I bet past me would be amazed by my improvement over the years I hope you guys like it too!

[pepprs]

girls who slam themselves in the 3x meta psychic prison. mutuals my mother straight up does not love or see or understand me and never did. when the pain is unending 😍

​ok yeah. i wasn’t going to write about it bc it’s deeply embarrsssing on multiple levels but like. i watched the childhood video tapes. except i couldn’t get the one from the first 2 months of my sister’s and my life(s) to work so i watched one from when we were 4 and our brother was less than a year old. and mutuals… in SO many of the clips she’s filming him and only him trying to get him to bounce and shit snd i ask for her to turn the camera on me so she can see me dancing or i can show her the picture i drew for her or ask her a question or share a thought and like… yes i was an annoying feisty bossy attention seeking 4 year old with a horrible bowl cut. but i was 4. and i just wanted my mom to listen to me and look at me. and she was dismissive to me in the videos like not outright cruel but exasperated with me for constantly trying to stick my head into the shot and asking for her attention. and when she would say “not now tess” or “tess you’re blocking him” etc etc i apologized for it and that part was sad too. idk. all of it was sad. i knew watching this shit that i was probably gonna stir stuff up which would be dangerous esp bc i don’t have therapy until the end of the month and i did stir things up just in watching the documented footage of it. i wish it was safe to post some of it on here bc it’s genuinely… like i feel like i don’t get to say it was sad bc i was being annoying and attention seeking but it’s sad.

on top of that.. i couldn’t get the vcr to play shit on my laptop bc i didn’t have the right equipment for it so i had to play it on the tv. and my whole family eventually caught on to me watching it and have watched clips of it with me now. and that’s just so complicated. bc they’re all adding their commentary about it too and im letting them and inviting them bc i don’t know how to set boundaries. and my mom… god. my mom is DOUBLING DOWN on exactly the same stuff she said in the video when we were FOUR YEARS OLD. saying that my sister and i got to be filmed so much when we were babies and now it’s our brother’s turn. and i get that. i really do. i know i got attention when i was a baby and i can’t deny that. i know it wouldn’t have been fair or healthy or whatever to neglect him in favor of me / us. but also… i was FOUR!!!!! i was too little to understand what the politics of attention meant. and it just kind of fucking sucks that she’s holding that against me NOW too (as she said multiple times today / tonight) like saying scornfully that i was always so jealous of him and she doesn’t understand why i needed attention so badly since i never had undivided attention in the first place as a twin. like… i was a little kid. what did you expect me to do just like magically not need attention anymore and understand that the baby gets all the attention and go busy myself somewhere. idk. i feel entitled / selfish for saying it WHICH IS THE WHOLE PROBLEM like that video tape literally documents whatever mental issues i have now emerging… like me learning that i wasn’t important anymore and that when i sought attention i was just getting in the way and being annoying. lol

AND…. on top of all of this… sitting down with my mom and siblings and showing the videos and laughing over it and inviting their laughter even though it hurts to watch and it hurts to laugh at it and to hear them laughing… my mom’s focus in WATCHING these videos 20 years later is almost ENTIRELY on my brother!!!!!!! STILL!!!!! like the whole reason i had the clips i had was to… idk. trace the genesis of my mental illness and she wasn’t even paying attention to that she was just cooing over my brother. and when i told her why i was watching these / attempted to point out the patterns she got exasperated with me for overanalyzing everyrhing and navel gazing etc etc to an unhealthy degree. i fucking give up lol

it feels stupid selfish etc etc to be spiraling abt this and i usually don’t make long multi paragraph posts but like. god. this was a mistake. i never should’ve done this. it happened with the whole coming out day snapchat story thing too among other episodes. every time i dig up a thing from the past that she did that hurt me and try to explain it in retrospect she never changes her tune or comforts me or expresses any understanding or anything. she just doubles down on what she said / did before that hurt me so bad and it hurts me all over again. it could’ve been so much worse and the experience of adjusting to having a new sibling is universal and not a big deal in the slightest but it was a big deal for me. i so clearly took it hard and needed attention from my fucking mom!!! and that wound is still raw and now ive ripped it wide open again. scared little girl moment

[livecharliereaction]

gonna be a long ahh post

ill try to see if theres anything strange for all of them but i dont remember all alibis n circumstances etc im using the red truths + question arc tip screen oki thats all i have Well i have my liveblogs too but that doesnt seem useful. first ep didnt have red truths yet but im quite sure it had to have been natsuhi or maria so

this was natsuhi + krauss + eva + hideyoshi + rudolf + kyrie

rosas definitely weird in ep2 i very vividly recall her BEING in that chapel too but i could be misremembering that part. though beatrice was there

this whole ordeal was a little strange i wish i remembered who exactly witnessed her bcs i feel like it wasnt just natsuhi n servants... Kyrie definitely saw her yes? I dont know what to make of it. What a cute outfit though shes so cute

also these mentions on shannon n kanon ep2 descs Awh

kanons key or servant involvement seeing as none of the others were first 6

kanon n jessica couldve killed each other Why? Who knows But someone carried kanons body out

"no one is hiding (regarding jessicas room)" STop i wouldve said that too im just like him i cant diss his abilities anymore.

Oh but also "kanon was killed in this room" =/= "kanon was killed in this room at that time" Im thinking about the scene where he "reappears" again i think its been said theres no disguise stuff so maybe

am i confusing the scenes because "theres no corpse" What happened in the doctors room???? when they saw him come back and bury his fingers to that wound i wouldve said he mightve died at that moment but then whats with the corpse. Girl

i miss her so much shes so funny "You are incompetent" in red is crazy

Beato:(.......

rosa had the keys yeahhhhhh i dont exactly remember Why i thought she was weird at the time but it was probably her. She was running around w the rifle too Well thats all for ep2 anyway

wtf even was charumi3 that was evas time to shine yes

Its definitely dead

None of the six committed suicide! hmm the weird linked one i remember it Though. Isnt "The six died instantly" incorrect in kinzos case if he was already dead... Since its a separate statement it doesnt have to refer to those six yes?? So maybe one of them besides kinzo didnt die instantly... Like battler suggested w a chain murder or one person going around to make up the chained rooms

Then theyd have a key too... girl i dont remember what eva was doing at this time also

at that point eva was supposedly in her room w a headache while witch eva was killing them so yeah doesnt look great for eva That servant things still possible too + rosa might as well have killed maria though idk who killed rosa in that case

eva did not kill hideyoshi... servant thing still strong and also wtf was kyrie thinking here anyway might as well blame her n then say eva killed kyrie but i forgor where eva was here again oopsie

"No life forms other than humans have any connection to this game" seems like a witch denying phrase but ok i guess its not a life form then

Lol. Once again kinzo thing makes this not matter... Though there go all my servants dawg maybe that was only for first twilight then

that is worrying. Do you think kanon n shannons names being pseudonyms affects the red truth. "shannon is dead" What if shannon is the idea of her servitude to the family and she threw it away for some reason and that way theres a Sayo who is killing people and doesnt really break the truths "shannon is dead" OR "there are no more than 18 humans on this island" All that goes for kanon too im just pretending that i didnt spoil myself his real name haha. Well kanon even more so since they made him appear and all but that couldve been jessicas delusion too...

she used to have so much fun that beato...

also even if eva was confirmed to not be involved in nanjos death that doesnt negate she couldve done well.everything else heart

thought about "Because of your sin, people die." a lot yesterday... The part about it not being about or with beatrice is of course very confusing and weird But yeah i cant even guess except apparently hes the reason the game exists? Or at least the reason it goes on or more specifically "cause of the eternal torture between us"

I dont understand how it could be about anything else BUT beatrice but ok. Maybe he was mean to maria like ange. But maria was literally 3 years old at that point... I guess he left the family 6 years ago but im having a terrible time trying to understand whats wrong with that really I guess asumu isnt blood related to him afterall but it cant be this great big sin beefing with rudolf u know. Id think his comebacks the reason the cerenomy was seen fit to be carried out (thinking about the amount of people) but angie wouldve normally been there instead of him anyway so the amount of people is the same and its over 14 anyway (13 sacrifices + whoevers imitating the epitaph) so i dont really understand blinks

i like when he goes Ah ngagh nnnghhh aaghh...!!! this vn loves to make people roar also They do it all the time. battler n beato do it the most but eva and many others always roaring too

also??? according to the wiki they didnt use red truth at all in ep3 until this point thats crazy i guess beato really WAS more careful about it

oh ange i miss u

i cant even tell what the first ones about theres no game record in ep4 tips how annoying <- doesnt remember at all what happened. Well ange was there uhh.

nvm its definitely about this one. I seriously remember nothing there was so much ange ange ange it was all eyes on ange.... I might reread my liveblogs

OH YEAH it was ppl supposedly witnessing kinzo killing everyone. Although uh "all ... acknowledged the presence of kinzo" Thats very different from "kinzo was there n killed everyone"... It couldve been in spirit or even if his corpse was there. Also last ones crazy u can just change that well i guess they were counting a corpse then

thats crazy confusing combined with knoxs rule about no accidents... what is left...

STOP. THERE GO BOTH OF MY SUSPECTS STOP IT

none of these negate kanon n rosa culprit yeah?

omfg wtf theres an image limit let me do the rest in another post

[tunzalines]

fic ideas i have but will prob never write (or finish)

half of these don't really have names so ill just call them whatever the doc is named OOOOOO OYASUMI omori fic, hikikomori route where sunny can't sleep through the night thus progressing to the next day. based on my own gameplay where in my first run was the hikikomori route (which i did not know at the time) so the first ending i got was this endless night (didn't know i could die in black space at the time). wanted to write about sunny slowly completing everything you could do in headspace till, well, idk lost the vision. wanted to kinda write about how dragging it feels to wake up fall back asleep then wake up again only for a minute to past. wanted it to feel ig defeating, if i was to continue it today maybe id slow burn it into the hiki ending? make it a very depressing crawl to the end

i drink till im drunk, smoke till im high p5 (vanilla royal wasn't a thing at the time) AU fic where the metaverse isn't a thing instead they use scopolamine. inspired by the scopolamine documentary by vice. exactly as i said a retelling of the main story with no powers, never actually started writing it since i wanted to nail out the specifics first like how the PT would get the drug n etc. looking at my notes like under half of them just die via OD damn. i remember id wanted to make it a one shot n focus on the PTs mental state/thought process and how they would devolve into doing this. a change i wrote them targeting Sugimura instead of Okumura cuz haru doesn't want to do that to her dad. Sae same deal, also didn't brainstorm a reason why Makoto joins (or maybe she wouldnt't? hm? hm?) tho i have notes on the blackmail thing still happening. idk how id play it out, whether i have her join or be a confidant. no full notes on Shido tho with Akechi thinking the drugging is inhumane and excessive tho also looking into Shido. don't know if i wanted to have Akechi be a normal detective or something? i could keep in his anger for Shido and have that be the reason he'd help the PTs i dunno. heres a direct note that i have: "Honestly not really a team but just all angry together. Akira druggy backstory is revealed" so akira would somehow supply the scopolamine, like i said never fully ironed that out.

and in that moment you knew you waited to long splatoon fic where a human gets reincarnated into a inkling! made this during splat 2 so id be based in inkopolis and no lore from rise of mammalians. wanted it to be very introspective with the protag living through the time before the end of humanity. so while they wouldn't have experienced it the fear and trauma of being so close to the end like that would carry onto her inkling life. while i didn't note it down i think i wanted the protag not to fully know how humanity ended, yeah obviously there was a rise in sea levels but the details? unknown. the protag would see the world of splatoon and look at it with a objective view while living through it (maybe even lost in life burden with the knowledge of a sunken humanity), though i thought of tartar being apart of the story (which the protag would argue humanity n etc with). don't know if id make it post octo expansion or pre and if i write about tartar id probably write in the squidbeak splatoon. so protag would hear about tartar somehow and go looking n which agent 4 notices and starts following them etc etc, leads to tar and reveals protag is reincarnated! idk. i want protag and tar to talk tho, with separate ideals too like tar: fuck this world. protag: this isnt our world anymore (longing yearning angst, youll never see your love ones or anything close to them ever again). squidbeak could be the fun optimists or something. just a fic about splatoon from the world it was before.

I JUST WANTED YOU TO WATCH ME DISSOLVEEEE SLOWLYYY genshin impact fic wooo, easy synopsis from notes: "aether drinks. cuz paimon is dead" this fic is actually half written! i just lost motive and never continued (tho maybe i will? not anytime soon tho :/). a short story on well aether drinking, running into venti, and the clear sense that something is wrong; nothing outright yet from the get go but aether is clearly unhappy. writing focused on aethers very clear mental distraught and regret (which would be more revealed further into the story). i honestly forgot how i wanted the reveal to go (didn't write it down good going me) but basically aether is tricked by lumine to kill paimon because she holds their sealed power. hm maybe less tricked more forced and pressured into killing piamon, nonetheless aether feels awful and would subsequently drink to forget and confess to venti about what hes done.

press 'E' to open inventory sword art online fic, every so often i think about sao ok. this would be a season 1 fic centered around kirito and his time in the moonlit black cats and how it effects him thru the Aincrad arc, represented by a black coat. based on the different jacket he used with the black cats had the idea that it was given to kirito by them as a kinda welcoming uniform thing. anyways they die and he keeps the jacket in his inventory as a memento. heres the rough notes of the plot: Kirito almost throws the jacket away after in fear and survivor guilt (he doesn't) Kirito then keeps it in his inv 24/7 Asuna could question it maybe ? idk He pulls it out in moments for comfort (but only after a long time he gotta get over the deaths first) One day he wears it (end woo)

ok thats all the drafts i have (when will i learn to finish my stories :[ )

[princemonday]

runext finale thoughts:

weird asf group name and weird asf lineup. like idk why two of them are there but im not gonna send them hate and if they have good music ill still stream even though my faves didnt all make it. yk like a normal person would 🤷🏻‍♀️

so when i heard that korean votes would be used for the top two i knew exactly what hybe was up to. they wanted wonhee to debut. it probably would have been way closer...maybe fourth or fifth place if they used international votes and they didnt want to risk it. whether they meant to make jiwoo collateral or not is up for debate though.

i really think the judges just didnt like jiwoo bc what the fuck. i think hybe (and, consequently, the judges) knew who would be top two if they made the finale votes mostly korean and in doing so planned for the other four to not be jiwoo.

so i kinda predicted jiwoo falling out but jeemin? wow. i didnt expect that. she was never in my picks but she seemed to have that factor. i thought she and youngseo would be top two with youngseo being first and when i found out about korean voting, i assumed jeemin would take yunah or moka's spot. i cant even begin to theorize how that didnt happen.

iroha and wonhee were the judges favorites. this was clear as day. iroha was very much favored by the judges. she got second place on her team in given and taken and third overall after the bang! performance (stages where she made mistakes.) i think irohas personality is very charming and if theres no jeemin or jihyun we need a main dancer like her but shes still very young to me and her vocals arent very developed (see money and shut down performances.) wonhee is honestly a topic i dont want to discuss again but since im going over all the winners heres my opinion plainly:

shes too young. she trained the least out of everyone. she has a constant lost duck expression. she (like ena) had the potential to train some more and become a banger main vocalist (her tone is very pretty.) she fumbled the fearless performance. she ate the ssfwl and feel special performances up (showing her rapid growth.) her debut definitely robbed jeemin and jiwoo but the hate for her is absolutely disgusting. thats all.

youngseo....yeah i mean whos surprised? not really much to say other than good for her. i guess i dont like her voice but that doesnt mean its bad. she deserves it even though she was never in my picks. i will say though that she has tsuki syndrome. which ive classified as having very intense charisma and facial expressions so everyone thinks youre the perfect example of stage presence. over the top expressions doesnt mean talented idol. of course youngseo is talented also but if i had to point to the contestant with the best stage presence and expressions it would be jeemin no doubt. (neither of these girls were ever in my picks so im being v unbiased here)

moka....will rule the world. so proud of her. eat sleep moka.

yunah being sixth is wild. i think they just did that for shock value. shes the mood maker yall. live laugh yunah.

lastly minju....again good for her. very versatile and professional. her vocal tone is the most unique in the show and if they don't have jiwoo they'll need a stand out vocalist like her. (still hate that she had the entire i dont care performance while hyewon had like 3 lines even with voicing her uncertainty but we move on)

heres what my lineup out of the final 10 wouldve been vs my predictions vs what happened

my ideal lineup (in order from first to sixth place)

jiwoo, yunah, moka, jeongeun, minju, iroha

my predictions for the final lineup:

youngseo, jeemin, minju, wonhee, jiwoo, and moka or yunah (without korean popularity vote. with it jeemin and wonhee would switch places)

the final lineup:

wonhee, youngseo, minju, iroha, moka, yunah

really hope to see the other girls in other projects soon. esp jiwoo. justice 4 jiwoo. ill make another post going over my thoughts of the eliminated contestants soon </3

[khodorkovskaya]

23.08.23

aïe aïe aïe i posted a recap of the altin gun concert but the tumblr app just like didn't post it and now it's gone, great!

but anyway, yeah, if it works this time the video will appear here:

so yeah there were soooo many people. here is a pic my parents took and another one from nik's story:

i managed to squeeze myself through the crowd and get to the first row ofc. and i went through so many emotions... when they played this i cried. and at the end i screamed MARRY ME at merve at the top of my lungs, i hope she heard me lol. she's soooo hot oh my...

the only downside is that i didnt see many real fans at the concert. most people just stood there or worse were talking. meanwhile i jumper up and down and danced like crazy and screamed the lyrics in turkish lol. did i annoy a lot of people? probably. but i wasn't just gonna stand there while my favourite band was playing. the emotions i felt you guys...

my oxford bestie and i wanted to go to sarajevo to see lepa brena live at the zetra arena in april but now im scared because i feel like if i see her live i will just die like i will go into cardiac arrest.

so yeah, so many emotions!

other than that panda and i went to this event yesterday and i didn't network with anyone, i just ate. a lot. the buffet was so good you guys. but i legit couldnt move afterwards. it was too much.

and today i was at the library as always and i saw this girl i knew in college. and it like disturbed me idk.

so a bit of a back story, i bumped into another girl i went to college with on the street the other day. and i remember i really wanted to be friends with her but she like never reciprocated and idk why. we would talk at break time, we texted a bit, we went to germany for an exchange together, she came to my house for a party once. like we got along fine and i really wanted to get to know her bc idk she was just cool. but every time id ask her to hang out she'd just say "yeah yeah" and it never went any further. and then i got a bit frustrated and stopped initiating things and she stopped talking to me all together bc it was always me who'd make the first move.

then she stopped going to school and to be frank with you i hadn't noticed. i thought she just missed a couple of classes because we only had one class together that year and i didn't see her much anyway. but then after graduation i bumped into her on the tram and she said that she had fallen ill and had to drop out. and i felt horrible. because i was selfish thinking that she didn't like me, but she was at the hospital and i hadn't even noticed or sent a "how are you" text. i felt super guilty.

and ever since then idk, id always thought about her as like "the one who got away" in a way, you know what i mean? because i feel like we could've been great friends but she didn't like me as much as i liked her and plus she had fallen ill and things happened and i never got the chance to like become her friend. like i remember every time we'd find ourselves like alone at breaktime or on that trip to germany and we'd have these great conversations, but then things would get in the way and it always felt like we never had enough time. at least on my end. idk.

and ive bumped into her on the street god knows how many times. i haven't seen people i was actually close with in college as much as ive seen her! and every time im like "let's get coffee" and she just goes "uh-huh" and that's it. and then i bump into her again and im like god damn it, i missed my chance again! and this has been going on for literal years. things like this really make me think that im autistic

so i bumped into her again this week!

and today i saw her from across the hall talking to another girl from high school! and this is where it gets weird.

so this other girl who was with her, i remember her quite well! we were always partners in chemistry class and we did a project about nitsche for philosophy class and i think we had french together too, did we? and i remember she had a dog and liked anime. and i remembered all those things about her. and i literally haven't thought about her in yearssss! ...and i couldn't remember her name.

i was like shit. okay. chemistry class. nietzsche. dog. anime. what's her name damn it????? i couldn't remember it.

and it made me feel weird. because in order to try and remember her name i started to like dig up all those memories from college. and the more i thought about it the weirder it got. bc on one hand im like huh 2018 wasn't so long ago was it? but then i remember ahhhh chemistry class ahhhh p.e. ahhh being a teenager. it all seems so surreal. and i don't remember any of it clearly. it's all in this like weird fog.

and it sucks because i feel like since i was permanently in this "foggy" state in high school it like stunted my growth. because i missed out on so many normal teenage experiences that i can't catch up on now. like instead of having a normal relationship, i had umm my 30 yr old ex. instead of going to normal teenage parties i went to germany with a 50 year old drug addict. and i was so in my head... like. i really wasn't present. and while everyone else made lifelong friends i was just. not present.

and like it's not a big deal. at least i had the parties and the drugs and the boyfriend, right? i wasn't a loner, i wasn't bullied, i was fine. but it just like... frustrated me. that like. the "girl who got away" got a girlfriend, while i was hanging out with my 30 yr old. and she's in touch with my other former friend from highschool. meanwhile i was too busy to maintain friendships bc i was hanging out with my 30 yr old. it's all very frustrating bc i can't get that time back. i can't catch up on everything ive missed out on. and now im this friendless loser who can't remember anyone's name.

[kidfoundonstreets]

last post AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY TALK TEHY TALK THEY TALK THEY TALK THJEYYYY >:D

HRLP.. casually asking his age that means that sirius couldve been waiting for dorothy for 10+ years.. damn THE “SO YOUNG” OK 500 YR OLD the only reason im not changing his name to old man is bc emo boy fits him more rlly like seeing them interact.. everybody here so interesting with each other

ALSO YEAH EXACTLY. it throws me off because ashe seems a lot more emotional in this one bro if hes still living in the past  smacks ashe so much angst can fit in this bitch FLAHSBACK TIME!!!! i realized thgat its less the crystal and more him just replaying memories?? or its zooming more in on him idk its just my own take i guess someone hug him it feels like he isnt over whatever happened at all THE PIANO PLAYING PART HAHSAHDWQH “i guess this is my fate??” PIANO PLAYING ASHE WHEN calling it right now i think that she died in a fire somehow not from her illness. maybe. maybe

WAY I GRIMACED AT THIS LINE..............................

claire noticing devleopment i love her

even if its really scaring me right now okay that was precious even if it was really depressing ashe therapy speedrun challenge GO! im glad they get to genuinely talk in this one it feels a lot more different with whats going to happen and tbh im living for it

good luck ashe i guess i really still wanna hug you they wouldnt grant it anyway. its a good wish and demons dont grant goodness and even if he did get his wish he still would never be the same because of how brutally he killed a person to get it and i dont think his family is really as healthy as he says or thinks they are it feels a lot like denial OKAY HELL YES FINAL DAY FLASHBACK TIME

its such a good family

WAIT HOLKY SHIT. RICHARD DID YOU DO THIS PROBABLY NOT NO HE LET HIM KNOW BUT HOLY SHIT

THIS IS SO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THIS??????????? I FEEL SO BAD FOR ASHE NONE OF THIS WAS EVEN DESERVEDI DONT GET IT  THE WAY HE WOULDVE HURRIED STRAIGHT INTO THERE AND PROBABLY WOUDLVE DIED AS WELL IF PEOPLE DIDNT HOLKD HIM BACK THATS JUST CRUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU EWHGGSWGHGWHHHWHGWHWHW I HATE MATTY 

DUDE. I GET IT. COMPARISONS SUCK ASS BUT THAT WAS HIS ENTIRE FAMILY HE EVEN TRIED TO HELP YOU THIS IS MESSED UP  SO HE JUST ENDED UP HAVING BREAKDWONS AND DOING ALL OF THIS ITS NOT THAT I DONT FEEL SYMPATHY FOR EVERYTHING HES HAD TO DEAL WITH BUT HES RUINED SO MANY LIVES JFC the. thd resemblance with that face and the other faces he hallucinated on the others. what the fuck.

it isnt his fault he was just trying to help lillian the amount of survivors guilt ashe must be feeling right now. that’s families and even your family carrying on your back. what the hell matty. getting burned to death is one of my worst fears and the way that this just happened so easily and his family could do nothing about it and all ashe could do was stare and struggle and watch this isnt his fault at all its mattys fault for being so careless with other peoples lives or it could just be noones fault but UGGHHHJHJHEUIYU this is just too messed up. no wonder ashe can’t accept it and is so desperate

ashe 

i dont blame him for reacting like that at all. he had his entire life burn before him and just clung to the thing that couldve helped him get it back

the way that limes just in awe of how dead inside he looks  i cant get over this woah richard trying to reach out to him. that’s sweet but he’s too buried in his own mind

how long has he been doing this. long enough to grow a huge braid i guess

dude i cant take this i didnt exit out and just go speechless but i still died the fact that ashe in all of these try again try agains just kills claire over nad over hes done so much for his family and im sure that when he found out killing claire was what he had to do next his mind just thought of that as the next goal to do to get everything he wanted back i guess when he started laughing and stuff when he killed claire im taking this from reaper it was more based on adrenaline and the thought that he could finally have a good ending and not need to face the reality that everything he’s worked up to at this point + how he left his entire life behind for this + how one of his childhood best friends who he thought he could trust and tutor just full out backstabbed him by setting up the fire for certain deaths in the first place would all just crush him and hes justnjhjkhkj ashe deserved so much better. they all desevred so much better with the cards they were dealt and honestly? they all could take the witch’s heart and use it for a reasonable purpose i really like ashe. the actions he has done to achieve what he’s trying to do im sure hasn’t been pleasant or morally good but he’s desperate and doesn’t want his life to slip him by like that when it’s already too late he’s stuck himself on the stage of denial so deep that even if he does go back he won’t ever be completely healed im sure the thought scares him as well anyway good game. goodcharacter  i feel so empty and im bad at essays but im sure thge feelings will hit me hard later on another note 

i love how shocked charlotte is at claire’s genuine kindness and sympathy. i think that makes a good dynamic with her and claire  jokes on you bitch youre talking to the softest angel and you dont even know

charlotte has a point but being heartless is just something that claire wouldnt do tbh

[chouchen]

Okay so first of all i am so sorry for anyone whos dash was flooded with the insanity i sent, i knew it was log as hell, but i just opened it on phone and i am slightly embarrassed! Maybe it should be tagged long post or something bc holy shit hh

Okay, so about chars in gacha: there are more types of chars than in genshin. Genshin only has 4 and 5 stars, while honkai has B, A, S ranks and also SP valks (which ill get to) B ranks are your starter valks, A ranks are 4 stars, S ranks are 5 stars, and SP valks are like... More farmable? They are made to rank up, it actually unlocks a lot of skills they have, and its relatively easy to do so. Also, contrary to genshin, another good thing about this games gacha for chars, is the fact that anything that isnt a '5 star', so an S rank, is completely free. You can farm for them on stages, or buy their fragments, or even get them from events when they first come out! Youll probably see that soon with the new valk, she's gonna be an SP valk, and youll get her just by playing her event, just like every other new not S rank valk that's ever come out. You'll also be able to buy her fragments and stuff, as she is an SP valk, and is made to be ranked up. So, any valk you get from gacha that isn't an S rank will not be limited. They will be available at some point in the story stages, or the shop, or in many other gachas for other characters ( but its best not to pull for them then, yeah? Theyre literally free, dont pull on an S ranker you already have to get an A rank, its not that shitty here, farm for them instead) so, thats about that i think. In conclusion, any char that isnt an S rank is fully free (esp as they come out) and available to rank up.

About ranking up in general. You can go from B all the way to SSS, right? It takes time, and is kinda hard to do sometimes. So, should you? Depends on who you wanna rank up. Anyone under S ranks is free to rank up bc their fragments are free to get, but not always worth it. Think of who you wanna use, who you should use, and act accordingly. I'll tell you, you should have everyone at least at S rank. S rank is the rank where they have most of their good/necessary skills unlocked, it should be the base (not for B ranks, the starter chars in this game are as useless as it gets) Which is why, if you get an S rank from gacha you should leave em like that! Unless you're rich and want your "5 star constellations", like a w-w-w-whale... Anyway, as I said, S ranks aren't free to rank up (most of the time) and take just as much to as in genshin, except its even more useless. There are some farmable S ranks in the store though! You can rank them up if you want! It usually helps more, as most of them are quite old by now, which is the reason they're in there, and need that to be useful still. But the ones that cost both of the purple things at once are still very much useful, and you should get them if you can! They're relatively new and very helpful! Another thing to talk about would be augmentations! Idk if you know about those yet, but some rly bad old suits were so bad and useless, that the devs basically remade them (which is sth im rly hoping genshins devs wanna do at some point too, its rly cool) Some battlesuits like rozalia, violet executer, the basic fu hua one i forget the name of and the long sworded mei i also forget the name of can be augmented, changing their entire kit, buffing them in a major way, and it even gives a new free skin if you get them to lvl 4 out of 6 aug lvls! Roza and VE are free in the store for that reason despite being S ranks, and can be upgraded, nay, should be upgraded to SS at least. They become kinda like SP valks. I like them though, they're some of my favourite battlesuits. And free! So if you ever need, lets say, a psy type lighting valk, and you dont have this games ei (HoT, surprisingly called Raiden Mei) look into getting Hawk of the Fog instead (the fu hua i mentioned). So in conclusion:

Any char that isn't an S rank you got from gacha is free to farm, and you should never pull on a supply just to get an A rank! That would be wasteful and dumb! But yeah, i get the genshin gacha has conditioned us to act this way ofc, but not in this game. Also, if forgot to mention, A ranks get their banners too, but why would you pull for them if they're free? If youre rich and cant wait for the event, i guess. But you dont have to pull on those, bc any A rank out there is free to grind for. And about ranking up in general: if its lower than S rank, go for it! If you use them a lot, go for even higher! If it starts off at S rank, maybe don't but who am I to say what you can and cant do. If you wanna do it just because, go for it i guess. Its gonna cost a lot for very little in return though. Exception from that rule is the farmable S ranks in the store! Rank em up however much you wish depending on who you use! And don't be afraid to get new chars by grinding for them either!!!! You'll have all A ranks that way sooner or later, and youll know what you want and who to rank up. Its free content, so why not right?

Oh also, i guess i should mention too, though ive already talked about it some: old characters are usually not worth it. And esp now, you should rly focus on getting the op new characters while theyre available, as youre still new, and while the story stages are real easy and even give you some characters instead of using your own sometimes, the abyss stuff gets real hard real fast, and practically impossible if you dont have the right type of damage on the right type of valk! And their gear, too. So, unless you wanna hold off on competitive crystal hunting, and focus on the story, you should think of who you wanna get first, and then who should get later. A little list of valks i have would be: Herrscher of Sentience (best valk in the entire game as far as physical damage and support goes from a single valk, also by far the most fun in my opinion, get her if you dont have her yet, she is indispensable and so much fun to use), roza or elysia from store for physical dps, HoT ((m)ei) or Mobius for lighting, N-EX or Herrscher of Reason for ice damage, Herrscher of Flamescion for fire, and then all the support for each of them from the store, such as starlit astrologos for physical, haxxer bronya for ice, fischl and rosemary for lightning, and phoenix for fire (or her counterpart i forget the name of (yin and yang lookin ass) but she's also from gacha only, so second best would be phoenix from the store)

Keep the questions coming and i will keep being a nerd!

ok so for example, i got the last "5 start" the blonde girl with a fucking HORSE ?? and i wondered if it was worth it to farm her fragments but now i sure won't and i'll keep farming for fischl !

this is me being annoying with more question but do you have any ideas for team comps ? i got the mecha bio psy stuff but valks also have light, ice and stuff and now i don't know what works on who @_@