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#idk. I think maybe I could be okay? its weird. and I'll probably have another low dip soon but... maybe after that I'll be okay?
blooming-violets · 2 months
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Nicest Thing Peter x Reader for 11. In joy? I really like that fic. I reblogged it on my old account. I feel like thats an underrated fic of yours (maybe bc it came out in 2022? Idk). Would love to see what happened to them!
It's still one my favs because it is just so...me?? Like if I had to chose anything that represented my personality perfectly, it would be Nicest Thing. Just a depressed, sad bitch who loves angst and Peter Parker and enjoys Kate Nash. I feel like I need another Kate Nash song for this "sequel" fic. I'll base it off her song Trash because these two are trash for each other.
You can read this as a separate, on its own Peter x Reader thing if you'd like or you can read it as a future piece to Nicest Thing.
Warnings: Smoking a joint and getting stoned
If porn bots can over take all the tags then I better not get flagged for these gifs.
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Peter looked at her through blazed out, squinting eyes. A haze of smoke filled their bathroom as they passed the joint back and forth between them. They were seated in the unfilled tub, fully clothed, and facing each other. She had made him take the spot next to the faucet under the claims that sitting over the drain made her feel “icky” like she might get sucked in. He didn’t mind. Even if their leaky faucet kept dripping cold water over his shoulder. 
“Do you remember the Rugrats episode when Tommy and Chuckie are afraid of getting sucked down the bathtub drain because Angelica tells them a story of some other baby who died that way?” He asked, handing her off the joint. 
She placed it between her lips and he watched with a slow blinking, admiration for her. He loved her. She had been with him through everything. He owed his entire life to her. Without her in his life, he would no longer be here. She was everything important in the world. 
She smiled, remembering, and let out the most beautiful laugh. She always got extra giggly when they smoked. It was one of his favorite sounds. 
“Don’t they fill the drain with play-doh and shit? It’s a weird reddish, pink color. Why do I remember that specific color so much?” She replied, mystified. 
Peter chuckled, “Because old school Rugrats was filled with some crazy ass imagery. It sticks in your mind.” 
“Yeah but I remember thinking that I specifically wanted to eat that color...like maybe it would taste nice…like the imaginary food from Hook.” She passed it back to him, letting the smoke exhale in a little, circular puffs from between her lips. 
“Do you want to get into a pretend food fight with me and see if anything appears?” He grinned. 
Her red rimmed eyes squinted back at him as she laughed, “With the way these munchies have been hitting me the past few minutes, I think it might actually happen. I could imagine food hard enough to make it show up.” 
His mind started to wander as a hungry smile spread across his face, imagining all the food he could eat, and he spoke with a dreamy whisper, “Pizza bagels.”
“What?”
“Let’s make pizza bagels. ‘M hungry. Starvin’. Gonna die if I don’t get some food in me.” 
Her eyes glowed with excitement at the idea, “Pizza bagels. Yes, you’re a genius!” 
“I know,” he giggled, it bubbled out of him without any self control. It wasn’t the weed that did it. It was her. He felt free when he was with her. He flicked out the joint against the ashtray balancing on the edge of the tub. “I really am. Smartest man alive, probably.” 
She snorted, “Okay, I wouldn’t go that far. Get your ego in check, Parker, before I have to slap some sense back into you.” 
He beamed at her, his love consumed him, feeling it outshine every other emotion rattling around inside of him. She was beautiful. Stunning. Picture perfect. He wanted to hang her up on his wall like an expensive piece of art so he could admire every day of his life. 
Her shoulders shrunk up to her ears under the intensity of his gaze.
“Stop that,” she whispered. “Don’t look at me with those eyes or I’ll kick you. I’ve got a perfect aim for your crotch in this position.”
Peter shook his head, “Nope, sorry, I refuse. I can’t help it. You look…perfect. The nicest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“You’re stoned.” 
“Yes. Doesn’t change the fact that your lips look very enticing.” He winked at her and tried to scoot forward to get a taste. 
Her socked foot landed against his chest, pushing him back in place, “I thought we were making pizza bagels, not kissing. Weren’t you just starving a minute ago?” 
“Starving for you, maybe.” 
“Peter!” She let out a loud laugh, keeping him at bay with her outstretched leg. 
He was so in love. Completely enamored. Whipped. Head over heels. Trash for her. Whatever he wanted to call it. He belonged to her so wholly. His bleeding heart was in her hand for the rest of his life. He would follow her to the ends of the earth and back again. 
“If you don’t let me kiss you right this very second, I am going to turn this shower on.” His hand reached over his shoulder to grip onto the shower knob with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 
She gave a sharp inhale, “You wouldn’t dare.” 
His eyebrows raised, taking on that challenge, “Oh really?”
She knew she fucked up the second before the shower burst to life. From his position in the tub, it shot over his head to spray directly into her face. She shrieked and fell back, sliding down the sloped edge of the tub until she was nearly on her back.
It was all the opportunity he needed to pounce. He leapt on top of her to the sound of her laughter and blocked the shower stream from her face with his back. His arms wrapped protectively around her head as he laid over her. Water pooled around them, warming their bodies, and soaking through their clothes. 
They didn’t feel it. 
All he could feel was the devoted love burning a hole in his chest where his heart used to be. 
She giggled up at him, blinking water droplets from her eyes, and whispered, “You’re an ass.”
He laughed in response and crashed his lips over hers, mumbling against them, “You love me.” 
She sighed in content. Her arms snaked around his neck to draw him closer, melting happily into his kiss. 
“I do.”
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myloveforhergoeson · 1 month
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Hiya! 😊 You're now a writer for the show. What three episode storylines are you gonna write? (In other words, what are you gonna make the boys do?)
ohm y god i literally have so many episode ideas but i'll try not to repeat any of the ones i've made posts about (except my first bullet bc im so passionate about it) so i'll give you my big list. most if not all will likely be something i DO end up writing about in my own story because ehehe i love making them do things
ones i think i've mentioned before:
a returning to minnesota chapter!! not for anything but nostalgia, getting to see the guy's favorite places, seeing their friends and families, bringing them back to realize how far they'd come. not so shy spon for my fic but i wrote a chapter like this last month and it's probably one of my favorite things i've written to date. it let me explore some of the boys' past, family dynamics, a little bit about Katie and agh i can't believe btr didn't capitalize on that at least once. ik its expensive to fund sets and hire new actors but idk i imagine it like an hour special where they could afford to shell out a bit more. idc when it happens, could be after they sign their record contract or the last episode or whatever :)
sketch comedy episode, something akin to saturday night live or so random
graduation! like you and i talked about lol i think it would be sweet
get me in the writers room stat:
originally i'd planned a "home alone lost in new york" like chapter for my story around thanksgiving where the boys are going to perform at the parade in town but they end up having their own adventure around the city beforehand. boyish antics, screaming gustavo, beautiful scenes, the works. i was just in too much of a slump to actually put it to paper :)
more tour-focused chapters (again, spon for my own fic lol) the episode in Canada was cute and the one on the bus was fun but idk there's just so many elements toward touring that i think they could've capitalized on; homesickness (for CA or MN), hardship of a go go go schedule, or fun things like being able to travel with your best friends and not ending up on the world's most wanted list lol. i know they tried really hard with this one so i don't blame them too much but my vision is just different and that's okay!
crossovers! while i'm so very happy dan schnider didn't have either of his disgusting hands in big time rush, i do remember watching the icarly/victorious crossover for the first time and wishing big time rush were there. it takes place in LA! the victorious kids are singers! carly, sam, and Freddie are pop culture experts! it would've worked really well :) so i'm writing that as a chapter for my fic LMAO
generally either an episode focusing in on or more scenes including james and lucy since the writers wanted them to be together so bad. inherently there's nothing wrong with them being together, but i do not think the relationship was given enough time to develop. give me lucy discovering her feelings for him, give me james not being creepy and obsessive about her; something more needed to be done on both of their parts to make me believe in it
additionally on that note more with jo/kendall and logan/camille; i love them both but they also had little development, just more than james/lucy. maybe they give carlos a gf (not alexa IMO, sorry. that got into weird territory for me idk why they made him be with a "real" person when he isn't other than they were already together irl) earlier and they can all have like conversations about their gfs and how much they love being together idk
and another generally, there were many songs btr put out that i love so much and feel like deserved their own episodes for hehe. i know not all of them have storylines easily transposed but i think they used confetti falling like four different times in the last season when any other love song from their third album could have been placed instead
and also another generally, and i know the early 2000s would've never allowed this for children's television but they should have and i'm the writer now!!!, but more representation all around. maybe some episodes about cultural heritage that didn't make stereotypes the main focus, canon LGBTQIA+ characters, holidays that aren't christmas, aspects like that where all kids can see themselves represented... LA is such a huge melting pot, it's not all white kids trying to make their dreams come true!
good god that was long SORRY AKJBSKJGBAB i have a lot to say and there's a lot im trying to incorporate into my story to add in what i think enhances the already present storyline. that's what's so beautiful about fandom, i love that we can have conversations like this :)
but what about you? anything you'd like to add in? i'd love to know <3 thank you for the question!
ask me a question! save my life!
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miss-ery-3 · 2 months
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i dont have much to report on weight wise, as i havent weighed myself since thursday, because i've been drinking alcohol and therefore i am retaining water
i can feel how i am all swelled up rn - my rings feel tighter than normally. i'll weigh myself again once the water retention goes down
but, ofc, i have even more stuff about my whole ✨love life situation✨
i am seeing my bf tomorrow, and i will tell him that i dont think our relationship is going that greatly, and then i'll take it from there. i dont really like to think too much about it, but i also feel more at peace w it - and i think my lil crush is a huge part of that. i really dont need anyone to tell me that i'm a horrible person - i am truly doing my best, both in terms of navigating my feelings and my relationship and my mental health. i'm really not in a good place right now, but at least i can kinda pretend, that my troublesome feelings are some fun new drama that i can share w my friends (you guys teehee)
if you don't care about my love life drama, then its totally ok. if you are, you're in for a treat (maybe idk)
lets call my crush-situation W
aight, so W and i talked all night thursday, and i have quite a lot to report about that night, and then a little about last night
my friend started talking about one time i had a ons w one of my friends, like 3 years ago, and i was quite embarrassed to talk about it. but the others laughed and idk, i figured it was fine. W switched between not laughing at all, just looking down at the table, and then awkwardly laughing a bit while looking at me, and then the table. i dont know what that means??? just as the conversation ended he was like "do u wanna go for a smoke" and then we went outside, and talked about other things.
we had been drinking and joking all night, and he decided to tell some group of girls sitting in the bar, that he and i are childhood friends (big lie, i've known him since summer). and i was like "aight, whatever" and then he lied and told them that i had written him tons of love letters when we were children. and i just laughed and lied and said "yeah haha, i was totally in love with you". when we left the bar, like 2 hours later, and we were all alone, i teased him about something we told the group of girls, and then he was like "yeah yeah whatever, i know that you'll just send me another love letter. you're like tooootally into me hahaha" and i was like "oh yeah, haha, totally. u got me" while walking away and laughing. i might just be fucking overthinking everything but also... why lie about writing love letters? there are much more embarrassing things (for me) he could've said. idk, help me
he texted his girlfriend throughout the night (i think) but looked quite annoyed/not happy whenever he did, and at some point he left the table for like 15 minutes (probably to talk to her). idk
he kept touching my stuff. like my cigarettes and my lighter, he would just sit with them and play with them. i found it quite cute, idk
OKAY, and then to last night (friday) i was in another bar last night, helping out, 'cause i kinda work there (ish, like, volunteer-work) and W was supposed to have a shift later in the evening
he calls me to tell me that he will be running late, 'cause he was at an event, and shit hit the fan, idk. then he asked me if i could cover for him, and i said that i for sure could cover for him. we only talked for 1,5 minute, but idk. my fucking hands went sweaty and i couldn't stand still. i don't think i've ever picked up that fast. uuuughhhhh i feel so weird. whatever
he showed up like 1,5 hours too late (but it was ok, 'cause there really wasn't much to going on), and went directly out to find me (i was smoking) to hug me and apologize for coming so late. then i kept feeling his eyes on me, and i could hear him mention my name a lot of the night
we ended up doing some cleanup together afterwards, and it was just... really nice. we have such a good time whenever we're together and i feel so comfortable around him. except for the part where i keep thinking about how hot i think he is and how want to give him a big old smooch. i had hoped to talk to him some more, but we both went home when cleanup was done, and idk. its fine
i have not been able to keep him out of my head all day. its truly torturous
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decepti-thots · 1 year
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Okay before I go to bed, my reactions to Void Rivals #1.
I don't want to approach this as A Transformers Comic, really, because that seems unfair. Kirkman is writing a new property that works WITH Transformers, is my read on this, and I want to try and approach this on its own terms. So with that in mind...
...this issue is paced in such a way it is staggeringly obvious it exists as a vehicle for the twist that Transformers is happening. I am not familiar with Kirkman's comics, so can't speak to if this pacing is common for him. But it's a slow start, if an occasionally atmospheric one. (Art's great. That title splash? Gorgeous.) The in media res approach is a solid choice, but it quickly becomes a matter of narrative redundancy; we re-establish that our two new leads are mistrustful due to their longstanding war and cultural norms surrounding it but have to cooperate and know it it a good, oooh, three or so times, which feels very odd on first read. Rather than simply slow the pace down so it only happens once toward the climax of the issue, going for more of a decompressed pacing, we spin our wheels stretching out the beat in a way that feels kind of weird, seemingly to fill the pages.
For a comic with only two people in a dead wasteland setting, it lacks both narrative efficiency (you could fit twice the amount of building-a-dynamic work in here) and a sense of sparse, lingering atmosphere build up (a slower pace with less talking could sell more isolation, paranoia and tension).
Why? Because the climax doesn't have space for the culmination to be 'and now they realise they have to work together', so it has to be sorted towards the start. But then there's nothing much to do in the middle, so it all gets stretched.
And the reason that can't be the climax is of course that the discovery of Jetfire is that. It's a great setup for this kind of twist conceptually- so obvious I predicted it without needing more than a solicit and his promo art. That's because it fits! But then he unexpectedly leaves, and I realised the setup probably wasn't to integrate him into this comic as an entrance into what role the crossover has here. It's to set up his story, I think, in the Transformers ongoing in October. That he's missed the war while out cold on this planet. (It is a fun use of the G1 cartoon story in a new context.) Which makes the end of this comic feel less... anything? If Jetfire was staying as the surprise third character, a fish out of water they needed to persuade to help them, that would have helped justify the prior meandering, I think. But he leaves, and the sense is that the comic only goes the way it does to set up another comic. Our actual protagonists then continue basically unaffected, so really, what does it matter, and was it worth meandering?
(Sidenote: imagine, a Cybertronian audience surrogate with humanoid alien protagonists! I want it. Maybe one way or another we'll fet it down the line. A nice twist.)
Maybe I'll be wrong and Jetfire will be back next issue- but if so, this comic failed to set up narrative expectations well.
It sounds like I hate it. I don't! It's got some interesting ideas, though exposition is slightly forced and dialogue is a bit clunky IMO. I like the basic concept. The ending where they take off their helmets is... we'll see where he's going with this I guess. But it feels like an 'issue zero', a possible prequel to two comics in one? Frankly, doing this AS a one-off prequel might have been wise, idk. A before-the-launch thirty page special or something. As the first issue of Void Rivals, it feels hijacked and unfocused; as the set up for Transformers, it feels a bit tortured, as much as I do still like the whole idea of starting it off in a non-TF book if you are going to do a crossover universe. (Really dig into the idea the universe continues around their war!)
Also, it truly just expects you to know who Jetfire is. Like, not just what Transformers is. Who he is. I'm surprised by that. As a way to hook non-TF readers, an overt reference to a single episode of the G1 cartoon most non-fans likely don't remember even if they saw it? Seems kinda deep cut. The whole thing revolves around knowing that this is him being someone who has missed the war. Hmmm.
Anyway. I'm interested to see how this pans out. Especially since the announced writer for the TF ongoing suggests this is definitely gonna be a war story.
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disaster-vampire · 1 year
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pls talk about the shelf
i was desperately hoping someone would ask me to rant abt it akehdjshd i'm kissing you sweetly on the forehead anon
okay so if anyone sees this out of context: i have a shelf in my bookcase dedicated to hannibal. yes it's kind of like a weird little shrine but leave me alone.
be warned this is going get LONG.
so, it has the obvious: the hannibal books, the tv show box set, the tv show's cookbook, my fancy copies of the divine comedy (they're hardcover with gorgeous sleeves that have art printed on them to match each book), and i also have the iliad and the odissey in there in a single big book that i bought on a whim when out once and then after buying it i found out it also had the original greek alongside the italian translation and i lost my mind. i've never felt such pure joy and i can't even read greek. yet.
as for decorations, as of right now there's a piece of driftwood that is kinda shaped like an L so it stands up on its own and it also kinda resembles an antler.
there's this fuckin box, i don't even remember how i got it, but it's made of bones. it's shaped kinda like a stereotypical treasure chest but it's literally made of bones. the inside is lined with red velvet.
i'm not sure what else to decorate with? i've put in a seashell but it can't even be seen because the shelf has glass doors but the shell is covered by the frame (might move everything to another shelf where the frame is not in the way tbh just so i can decorate with tiny things at the front).
i just moved this whole thing from my other bookcase (i just got this new one today because i have too many books and in my first bookcase the shelves are literally bending with the weight of the books piled up on them) and when it was there i also had a teacup in there along with a lighbox that says "bone saw time! 🖤" but this new shelf feels very elegant and there's also not enough space for the lightbox. i also had a bust of dionysus there but i'm going to move it to my dionysus altar.
i've got an old scalpel somewhere too and i'll try to find a visible spot to put it. i also have 3 tiny japanese plates that were all given to me as gifts and some souvenirs from japan from a friend too but idk if i wanna put japanese stuff in there. like it's fitting but at the same time idk if it's disrespectful or not.
if i had money and more space i'd make this whole thing bigger and get like. a little frame with fly fishing lures like the ones will made in the show and maybe something like some ethically sourced taxidermy. a snake skeleton and a mongoose skull would be really cool. maybe i could print out a little something with lures instead of buying real ones and like. a fake death's head hawkmoth taxidermy. i'd need some of those shadowbox frames and i'd make it so the pictures stand out a bit from the back so it looks like they have shadows. bc like i'm fairly certain real death's head hawkmoths cannot be ethically sourced at this point in time because ever since silence of the lambs came out people have started going insane over them.
i think my grandpa has this framed thing somewhere with sailing knots made with actual ropes in it rather than just pictures. haven't seen it in ages so i'm not sure anymore if it was my grandpa's or someone else's. probably my grandpa since he was in the marines when military service was mandatory in italy but idk maybe i saw it somewhere else. i could print out a small picture with various illustrations of sailing knots.
i also have these cards that my aunt gave me at one point that have prints of a lot of famous paintings with descriptions in the back and i THINK one was the primavera. it was either that or the birth of venus i'll have to check but either way there's at least one botticelli in there. i don't like botticelli much tho so 🤷
i plan at some point to also get physical copies of all the movies but idk when that'll be since i've found a different box set for the tv show with gorgeous covers that i plan to buy as well. also of the ones i currently own i think one of the dvds stopped working bc it got scratched while inside my pc because i was pausing and rewinding/forwarding too much. we'll see i guess.
now for the rest of the books. i have a medical book in there called the abc of the human body. i think the title is kind of hilarious for a hannibal shelf. i just found out today while moving books back and forth from one bookshelf to the other that i actually have two copies of this book and one of them was owned by a doctor that died i think like 15 to 20 years ago. i have a few other medical books that said doctor also owned on the shelf above. he also owned the scalpel i mentioned before.
there's the book skulls by simon winchester, which is a collection of pictures of skulls from one of the biggest skull collections in the world, along with a few inserts on biology if i remember correctly? i originally bought it for art references and i LOVE the cover so i made sure it was facing forward in the shelf.
there's the resurrectionist, which is a sci-fi/fantasy book kind of in a frankenstein-esque vein where the main character is this made up doctor who manages to make some mythological creatures through surgery & digging up dead bodies and i won't spoil it any further. the second half of the book is a whole bunch of medical/biology style illustrations of said creatures, their skeletons, their muscles, how certain parts of their bodies would function (for example i believe it goes into explaining the lungs for both mermaids and harpies). i don't think it quite fits thematically with hannibal but i think it's got The Vibe so i put it in there.
there's a book on saint lucy, who is the patron saint of sight. i have it because i was born with my skull being asymmetrical and the doctors immediately told my family it would likely cause problems with my eyes, and so instead of, you know, starting to take me to eye doctors from a young age, they swore me to saint lucy and left it at that. i'm likely going to go blind on my left eye at some point in my life btw lmao thanks st lucy <3 i do like her though. i like her iconography a lot, she's always portrayed as holding a plate with her eyes on it.
there's damien by hermann hesse, which is one of my all time favourite books. it's written in first person and it starts with emil sinclair's childhood, explaining that he sees the world in a very black and white way, and does so very literally because he speaks of the world of light and the world of darkness, which are kind of meant as good and evil. but then something happens to him that starts blurring the clear line he thought was between the two, which sends him into a moral panic until he meets max demian, who starts to make him see that there's more to both sides. the story as he grows up follows his "corruption" into someone who is neither good nor evil. it has a lot of implied homoeroticism, as it was written i think either in the 20s or the late 1800s so it couldn't be explicit but it is very much there and is expressed mostly through demian's mother. there's also a weird cult thing going on and the ending is a bit ??? and honestly i need to read it again because for such a short book SO much happens that i'm having a hard time summarising it accurately.
the only other books i remember being there rn (it's 1am i'm not turning the lights on again) are dracula, because cannibal/vampire count with a big castle, the butchering art, and les fleurs du mal, plus two other books written in french that i haven’t read yet because my french isn't the best, whose titles i don't remember rn, and one in italian that i've found at a used books stall once but i believe it's from a local author and i've never seen it in a bookstore nor online so there's definitely no english translation of it. i still haven't read this one either and i don't even remember what it's about, it might be a poetry book? not quite sure. but yeah these few ones i haven’t read are there like. on trial. if i read them and find them fitting they'll stay otherwise they go to another shelf. i also haven’t read les fleurs du mal nor the butchering art yet, so the same applies to them. i think that's all of them? i plan to put my art history books and regular history books on the shelf above as well next to the medical books to kind of carry the theme over lol.
i would like to maybe someday get some of the books that we've glimpsed from the bookshelves on the show but this is it for now!
anyway. tysm for asking me about it dear anon. you said but a few words yet they meant the world to me <3
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keithbutgay · 14 days
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🍼🍓💗🦋🍃 for the ask game? /nf
i think its interesting that like half of these are about romantic relationships but. idk maybe thats just me :P
🍼- what's your favorite memory?
🍓- one secret about yourself
💗- who do you miss?
🦋- how do you think others perceive you?
🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? (or middle name i can't tell so i'll just answer both :PP)
(for what it's worth i also thought it was really interesting that a lot of them were about romantic relationships :PP)
okay i wrote like. a fuck ton. so i'll put it under the cut haha
favorite memory... um this one's hard. i have a really awful memory and like i'm sure i've had genuine good moments in my life but so many of the ones i can remember have had some underlying awfulness to them
um
sorry that's like. bad---
when i moved about five years ago, my sister and i built a sort of fort with the couch and mattresses. we hadn't wanted to move houses but this was like. the day of the move. and we were eating bagels, she had poppy and i had sesame. anyways we got seeds on the mattress but it was really nice. there's still seeds on our mattresses. hers has poppy.
i think another one of my favorite memories is working on the percy jackson musical. not because it wasn't like an absolutely awful time because. well. yeah. but because i got to meet y'all and there were definitely really good moments for me, especially with the graffiti and also like. vat7k :P
um moving on i guess---
a secret about myself. ummm this one's hard cause like. i do hide things a lot. but i wouldn't consider them secrets... especially cause you probably know about them lol
um... maybe that. i'm scared to call myself neurodivergent because i'm undiagnosed and i'm worried that i'm just making it all up and just like. have more severe anxiety and depression than i thought?
idk
is that a secret?
oh well
um next question (sorry this is so long---)
who do i miss? okay so i've answered this one on a different ask game and i really really don't want to repeat it um i could talk about another person i guess?
i had this friend who i knew for a year. they um. helped me a lot. but they were in a really bad mental state, and were constantly in the hospital. they didn't talk to me all that much either, because i would hang around their boyfriend, and they would rather talk to him than me. but anyways i really didn't know them that well, i did go to their house once and we met up a few times but they moved to another state three years ago and haven't talked to me since. anyways it's complicated but they're basically. um. dead. i used to write them little "letters" on a doc actually, but i haven't opened that doc in a while---
anyways
this got angsty very quickly moving on
aaaaa okay this is hard
like. my brain tells me everyone hates me. logically, i know that they don't.
okay maybe i should rephrase
i don't want to believe that people see me as anything better than like. trash. i know that people do but i don't want to believe that and my brain makes that part very easy for me by yelling that they're only here out of pity and they don't actually care about me? so idk
maybe
maybe i think that the people who don't know me perceive me as the weird guy in the corner who doesn't know what he's doing ever and is really annoying and like should never be interacted with
and the people who do know me perceive me as infinitely better than i actually am and i. wish they didn't because i'm going to disappoint them no matter what because i'm not who *they* perceive
okay anyways
i would rather live in the sea with mermaids. i fucking love mermaids. i've wanted to live in the ocean with mermaids for my entire life. sea creatures are my life actually i love them so much especially jellyfish i would let a jellyfish eat me in the most normal way possible. the waterfire saga, above world series, emily windsnap, and mermaid tales did this to me.
also my middle name is technically isabelle but i'm ignoring that in favor of ian like ian kabra from 39 clues because i'm very gay
but ian doesn't sound great with either of my names so i'll probably rethink that one--- :PP
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0fps · 25 days
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okay wuwa first impressions, first ~3 hours or so
the good
combat is fun as expected, LOVE dodging mechanics and the jump attack is surprisingly a lot of fun too. swapping characters is purposeful and fluid and overall the combat so far is super satisfying.
i just pulled a bunch of characters off the gatcha (did not get jiyan........) so i'm gonna have fun seeing whose kit i vibe with, i like that they all come with their own tutorial thing. that being said i definitely think i prefer the melee characters, ranged ones like baizhi don't exactly feel as nice to play. gun characters are very hit and miss so far (pun not intended) like i don't like playing chixia but i REALLY like playing mortefi
also love the echos system, and how its integrated into exploring the open world and actually fighting enemies. i'm gonna have a lot of fun filling out this data bank lol. there's a wolf one i like using during combat
could also just be new environment syndrome but the city feels HUGE. excited to explore around
the bad
as many have already pointed out yeah the optimization in this is not great (i play on laptop for context). it surprisingly seemed to get better for me the more i played/explored. i have a guess it might be caching things in the backend so the issue is primarily with loading in new/haven't seen in a while assets, but even then there is a pretty consistent stutter to the game, particularly the more open world areas. luckily for me not enough to completely turn me off from playing
i think a lot of this is because their "low graphics" setting is like. not low graphics at all lol, its actually just turning certain settings on/off for you. i think being able to tone down the environment detail/the resolution itself would help their optimization a LOT (even though the game is beautiful, i would prefer smoother gameplay than being able to see every blade of grass lol)
another thing i saw people point out was the fourth line of text getting cut off in the subs. definitely annoying since i read faster than the characters talk. i would hope this is an easy thing for kuro games to fix though, and my impression is they're pretty good at responding to player feedback
picking up items seems. weird? in addition to the fact that picking up items causes stutters often (probably asset loading), it also takes a while for the item to actually disappear which does NOT seem to be tied to the lag, but rather is an actual delay, so it really breaks the immersion
auto lock also feels weird especially in multi-enemy combat. i for one will probably not be using it lol
the loading screens take forever. i'm gonna be seeing 65% in my nightmares
the neutral (i'll be honest most of these are kinda leaning bad too ajkfdla)
music is okay, i haven't heard anything special or notable yet
no large opinions on the story as of yet, tbh i've spent more time exploring than doing any story progression asdlkjafs
i like being able to run up walls but the animation itself for it feels very idk. unpolished? in general climbing feels a bit awkward
idk if my eyesight is bad but it's kinda hard to tell which items are interactable/you can pick up. things like chests are also very unassuming but maybe i'm just bad at noticing them right now since i'm just getting used to the environment
environment is quite detailed but tbh i haven't seen anything yet where i've been like WOW but i've also only been in like. 2 areas so far
while i do like the combat, the hit box/range also seems just a bit. off. idk how to describe it might just be a matter of getting used to things ajkdflsf
kind of in line with that the movement feels a bit delayed, like it isn't as snappy as i'd like
overall its not bad but definitely feels like it needs some polish. i agree with people saying it probably should have stayed in beta longer and gone through more QA/optimization testing because some of these things like the cutoff text feel very rookie mistake
all that being said, even though I guess this post is fairly critical/negative I am really enjoying the game for what it is 💕 the bad optimization/lag is definitely it's biggest problem, so I hope it's something kuro games will be able to figure out, if it's not something that improves as the game gets bigger (map/asset wise) that'll definitely be its nail in the coffin
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diah-the-demon · 7 months
Note
yeah this really feels like we're somewhere on stage talking into a microphone as people pass by and can listen, but yeah agreed, it feels weird when it's not tumblr skljdlsk
ooh I hope you can go there then!! I've had one in my area for a few years that was star wars, star trek and doctor who focused and it was so much fun,, unfortunately with covid coming around it has ended </3 missing it greatly
and oh no D: yeah unfortunately the kids toys break so easily which surprises me ngl,,, you'd expect kids toys to be a bit more sturdy given that kids will play around with it wildly and ksljdslk omg that sounds adorable ngl!! I think I know which masks you mean, I still see kids wearing them every now and then around halloween or carnival
yeah,,, I've gottten a tiny bit better by now (and by that I mean: I will get it but feel bad about it instead of not getting it and feeling sad about that klsjdlsk) I hope you'll eventually get better with it as well! it's so sad how much stuff like this can linger on your brain TT-TT
yeah I think it said 7 more days, so I hope I'll have enough time bcs her shedule changed and now she's at work so I can't ask her TT-TT hopefully it'll last til the weekend when we could order it (if she says yes skldjslk I doubt she wouldn't but still skjdlsk)
okay, yeah, your bookshelf is definitely already cool! But yeah the helmets are going to make it even better, no matter where exactly they will be placed klsdjl
yeah you coudl probably figure it out on your own once you get the basics, even if it is for another set of armor at first! With the basic understanding that should definitely be doable!!
and hmm, I've not build armor yet myself (will have to do so eventually tho,,, I wanna cosplay one of HI3 Himekos battlesuits after all ksjdsl) but it does already sound like a solid idea!! but yeah until you know if it works or not you have an idea at least so that's a good start!
yeah im still not used to it but i think its quite nice to have smth like a constant conversation like this thats lasted almost a full day now jdsljkds, i think its a nice change of pace jdsklkjds
hopefully i can get there when its being held! im not sure when it happens each year but il look that up later and see if i can find dates (hopefully im not gonna be busy when it happens dsjlkkdsj) and awww that sucks, i hope they come back eventually it would suck if it died off forever </3
yeah idk why they were so fragile, they weren't big so i think they were probably childrens sized ones that we had, it doesnt make much sense to expect kids to not hit 2 lightsabers together in a duel like come on
IT WAS! i dont think i have any pictures of it sadly </3 i wouldnt have even had a phone yet probably i think so pictures would probably be on my mums phone
the mask was so cool, it even had a voice changer in it! it was fucking awesome, when you breathed it would replace it with the darth vader breathing sound AND it would even make you sound like vader when you spoke!! idk how something from when i was a kid was able to do something like that but it was awesome. sadly the voice changer in it died a while ago, it still slightly worked but not consistently last time i put it on D:
yeah hopefully we both fully get over it eventually, i probably start to until either her or i move out, but yeah its so weird how it stick in your head so long, i need to refresh my brain so i can get it out lkdsjdjsl
dont want to make you feel like you need to do it sooner but it said 7 days yesterday and also today.. i didnt check how long it was when i bought my stuff (i bought the stuff on the 5th) but it might've been 7 days still.. altho i guess by the weekend it would still be 7 days after that.. hopefully it is still on by the time you talk to her!! (just checked and it might be going on until they completely sell out?? its a clearance sale so maybe? idk id probably do it sooner rather than later just incase tho)
Oh btw when you do place your order they will email you to verify the card (send a picture of the last 4 digits to confirm. It is a little bit sus but ive seen no one say this one is a scam so i dont think it is, plus they cant rlly do much with only the last 4 digits)
thank you!! it will def look so much cooler when i get the helmets in! still need to figure out where i can put the 2 extras apart from ontop of the bookshelf cause too many on there doesnt seem too good idk
yeah that sounds like the plan il do for this, try the basics, might try doing clone trooper armour to begin with if its not harder than mandalorian cause il have captain rex's helmet! imagine a female clone trooper tho that'd be so cool (totally not so i can check out her tits shush jdskls, i mean there was a female clone of jango but she isnt a trooper, and is a child since i dont think she had the accelerated growth the others did? idk not that caught up in that bit of lore)
i think its probably what they are going to say to do, i doubt they would stitch/pin it right to the bodysuit cause that would be a pain to take off (imagine having to go to the toilet after putting it on that would be so annoying to take off skdjdslkj) if it all goes well il share the progress so you can take some tips on building the armour for himeko jlsdkdjs!!
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permanentreverie · 8 months
Note
Okay I will tell you how it is! I probably would have already read it but I also want to read it with my twin. I know about the writing style from reading the first chapter and it didn't bother me so it should be fine. As for You'll miss me when I'm Gone, that was the first book I ever heard of her and it's been on my list for a while too but idk how it is. I saw a few mixed reviews for both of these actually, but I trust your opinion. I'm also more of an emotional reader so if something means something to me..it's good lol and I'm sure it will cuz i even felt it from reading the first chapter. Anyway I'm actually almost done reading Business or Pleasure right now and I'm enjoying it haha but haven't read any of her other books fully yet. I'm sorry you didn't like it. Maybe she has better ones and I wanna read more from her eventually. I will let you know how You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone is since its similar to I'll Give You the Sun...it also has both twins perspectives in alternate chapters which is another reason I wanted you to know. I will also let you know about the Night Circus but I haven't even started that yet. I'm usually a slow reader though especially with my sister reading so idk when I will update you. Also..I hope it's okay that I give you a recommendation. This is a book that is also my favorite from this year and I feel like changed my life or had a big impact on me. The book is called The Stepping Off Place and is also YA but I loved it so much and now means a lot to me even if it has some flaws. There could be triggers which will be clear if you read a summary of the book. Another is called If He Had Been With Me..but I know that one probably has a lot of flaws and basic and weird writing style so idk. But it also means a lot to me..and these books are always a pair to me now cuz they are similar in a way but also different. I know you didn't ask..but your book answers got me thinking about it in a way. It's always hard to recommend books that mean something to me in case other people don't like it..so I always recommend reading snippets first! Anyway sorry this is long but I hope it's okay.
i didn’t particularly hate business or pleasure, it’s hard to explain - i did enjoy it! i thought it was fun! but i think my rating of her books (that i’ve read) are the ex talk, weather girl, see you yesterday, today tonight tomorrow, and then business or pleasure. she is a fun author and she writes good romance! if you check out any of her other books do let me know <3
the night circus is sooo incredibly beautiful, i have high hopes for you!!! i reread it the beginning of this year because i was high stressed and struggling, and it just calmed my soul - what a book
you can ofc give me book recs!! i’m gonna check out that rsl book too. i have heard of if he had been with me!! i actually don’t know much about it, it’s a t*ktok book which i’m always wary of (and maybe why i haven’t checked it out) but now i’m intrigued!!
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2qts · 3 years
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Dude this world is so fuckin crazy man. Its so cool. I really like experiencing things the way I do. Like, fuck man I'm just out here. I feel like I'm floating or something. Life is great. I'm happy. /gen
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nofoundboy · 2 years
Note
SPIDEYPOOL HEADCANON, what would deadpool do after the events of SMNWH
OMG OKAY SO IDK WHICH SPIDERMAN IS WITH DEADPOOL BUT I THINK ITS ANDREW BUT ANYWAYS THIS IS AFTER THE EVENTS OF SNWH AND HE GETS BACK OR WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE MOVIE AND DEADPOOL IS LIKE “BRO WTF HAPPENED WHERE DID U GO??“ AND SO ON
Ah, I hadn't thought about that, I like it SO MUCH that I just did a weird and long thing. Hope you like it.
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- First things first. They were together before the multiverse wooosh portals disaster happened, on patrol around the neighborhood
- Peter was stressed and Deadpool really wanted to make him rest. Maybe not a free night but a calmer one
- Even the neighborhood was calm enough with just a few incidents. Like it really tried to give the friendly neighbor a free night
- So, Wade insisted on buying Peter's dinner. Even so, he offers him a dinner in a fancy restaurant
- But Peter said no, as he wanted to be on the watch for problems
- So instead, Wade bought burgers and fries to enjoy on the rooftop of an old building
- Then, Peter felt his spider-sense tingling in an alley, he didn't let Wade go with him
- And he just vanished
- Wade didn't see any of this, so he thought Peter went chasing someone
- He was sure he was gonna came back, after all, they were having a non-official date
- But then, the minutes transformed into hours and he was getting worried, so he started to search for Peter
- And then, all of the sudden, Peter came back. Looking like a mess, excited and somehow, happy
"Where the fuck did you go?" was the first thing Deadpool said to him. He even went to Peter's apartment
"I'm sorry, but man, I'm gonna tell you something, something really really weird. You will not believe me at first but I swear it's true"
"Just...why didn't you say anything?" Deadpool whispered. He was happy to see him as a joyful puppy but at the same time, he wasn't good with the fact that he just disappeared. That easy. It was scary.
"I couldn't! I swear!" Wade considered Peter's words and he finally noticed how down his friend looked "I'm fine, really. If another magical portal appears in front of me I'll bring you with me, okay?"
"Now you're fucking with me" both men sat down at the emergency stairs of an old apartment building. Peter laughed and take off his mask.
"I promise I'm not, just listen to me" then, Peter told him everything.
"Two other Peter's...whew, they were hot like you?" Wade pinched Peter's cheek, while he moaned in annoyance
"After everything, I told you, that's what you ask?" he stifled a laugh, unsure of the meaning of that heat in his cheeks. He had said to the other version of himself, Peter 2, that he wanted a normal dating life. At that moment, he thought about the cute relationship between the younger one and his girlfriend, and inevitably, he started to think about Gwen and the possibility of being with some new girl but maybe what he had in return was something different.
Something he didn't want to accept as something more than a "bromance" type of friendship.
"We are handsome, yes. But one is only a kid and the other one is probably married, I don't know" then he realized the danger he had been in and how worried was Wade.
"I...I'm sorry for disappearing like that. I mean it"
"Nevermind. Just set me up with the married one and we're good"
"I hope there are others of you. But nicer and less gross" Peter escaped from his arms while Wade groaned at that action.
"I'm joking, bubble-butt. You know I only have eyes for you"
Finger guns.
"You are really cringe" but Peter couldn't hide the red from his cheeks.
"Peter...I mean it" and before he could even react to that. Wade offered him another burger.
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chasingpj · 3 years
Text
𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫
pairing: leo valdez x child of iris!reader
requested?: yes!
translation: full of color
warnings: uhh, mentions of mental health and ?? maybe some typos lmao
category: headcanons, fluff, best friends to lovers
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pre-relationship
though, leo saw you around camp often, you caught interest in him before he caught interest in you
i mean, he literally couldn't miss you because your outfits were always bright, whether it was a combination of colors or monochromatic
you and your siblings actually look like a rainbow threw up on you guys, and it's honestly iconic
no one at camp can not notice the children of iris, especially when they're in a herd
one day, you were sitting alone at a picnic table near the lake, and you found yourself drawing him in your sketchbook
you sketched a portrait of him while he spoke to piper at a table nearby
you've always found the floppy curls and how his brightest smiles always look a little manic to be adorable
when you sketched his portrait in your notebook, you didn’t intend for him ever to see it
until a couple of weeks later in the arts and crafts center, leo passed by and caught sight of a new project you were working on
he stopped in his tracks to compliment your drawing
since you were nowhere near done with it, you couldn’t admire the piece as much as he was
but his enthusiasm was so endearing
he politely asked if he could see more, and you didn’t hesitate to slide over your sketchbook
he noticed a lot of your drawings were scenery and people at camp; especially your siblings
he stumbled across a detailed sketch of a woman and her child sitting in a bus
“wow… who’s this?”
“oh, I don’t know. It was just a little girl I saw on the train with her mother.”
“so you just drew her?”
you never realized how weird your habit of drawing random people was until he had asked
you giggled nervously, quick to explain yourself, “I tend to draw people or things that I find beautiful. I wanted to capture how calm and happy she was with her child ‘cause at the time, I was stressed and angry. Watching and drawing her made me calm.”
leo nodded, a faint smile on his lips before looking back down at the drawing. “that’s really cool,” he complimented, and you shifted in your seat, suddenly shy.
And then it hit you
you were so willing to show leo all your works that you had completely forgotten that his portrait was in that book
your pulse thumped loud in your ears, mind racing to figure out a way to take away your sketchbook before he could see it
you ended up spending so long thinking of what to do that he arrived on the page in no time
right before he could see the drawing in its entirety, you slammed the book closed and snatched it
leo’s startled expression turned into a mischievous smirk
“was that me?”
you froze in your place; a squeaky sound escaped your throat in your embarrassment
leo’s brown eyes sparkled as he leaned into you, your gaze fixed on his, “y/n, you think I’m beautiful?”
AHHHH!
^^ that was you in your head btw
leo laughed, amused at your attempt to deny it
“then why did you snatch it away?” he raises an eyebrow before reaching over quickly to grab the sketchbook back
you didn't pull it out of his reach fast enough, leo getting a grip on one side
the two of you pull it back and forth, leo laughing at you as you continued to deny what he saw
though you were incredibly embarrassed, you couldn't contain the laughter bubbling in your chest
gods, of course, this would happen to me, you thought
he got it out of your grip, and you sighed in defeat, watching him flip to the page of him and piper
he was quiet, studying the picture for a second before giving you that playful smirk
“you think I’m beautiful?” he asked again
you playfully rolled your eyes, “it was more piper than you.”
your tone was sarcastic, only fueling leo’s banter with you
“oh really?” he chuckled to himself, “but i’m the only one colored in.”
you were silent at his observation before scoffing, “whatever.”
leo only laughed as you take the book away from him
“don’t you have somewhere to be, fire boy?” you asked and nudged his shoulder
the glint in your eyes made him smile, and he shrugged, “i guess i do. i'll see you around."
you nodded, too shy to do anything else, and he walked off
after that, leo took it upon himself to talk to you every day
leo teased you about the drawing all the time, and he found the way you would play along to be funny
before you both fell in love, you were close friends
you had such an optimistic point of view about life, and it was pretty contagious
somehow when leo was in the dumps about something, you always knew what to say
you were just so easy to talk to, and because of this, your friendship just grew naturally
your first kiss was towards the end of summer
leo invited you to hang out with him in bunker nine at, specifically, 6 pm
you teasingly asked if it was a date, and you remember the way he tensed up a bit
with a mumble, he asked, "what if it is?"
from the tone in his voice, you knew he wasn’t joking
in fact, his tone was hesitant, a part of him was expecting you to reject him
then the heavy pit in his stomach turned light when you smiled and said, "then I'm down."
the grin leo gave you made your heart flutter like crazy
your first date consisted of eating snacks and watching a movie on one of those portable DVD players
You picked up on the tension between you and him, and noticed the opportunities for a kiss kept passing
it was until Leo walked you to your cabin that night did you have a moment of boldness and asked, "so are you going to kiss me or?"
leo's eyes widen in surprise before his face broke out in the familiar smirk he gives when he flirts with you
you rolled your eyes playfully and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him into you
your first kiss was sweet and soft; a little awkward
his hands hovered over your sides for a second, not sure what to do with them until he decided to rest them on your waist
it was the perfect way to mark the beginning of your relationship
relationship
since you guys are both broke teenagers, you got creative with date nights
you came up with the idea of paint splattering with him
you guys got canvases, covered the walls and floors with plastic to make sure you didn't dirty them
then you filled water balloons with paint and just threw them
despite you guys singing and dancing around in the midst of it, the canvases came out so good
and to commemorate the beginning of your relationship, you hung them up side by side in bunker nine, and when you guys get a place together, you hang them up in the hallway of your apartment
leo is a huge gift giver; as i’ve said before in my “how he shows he loves you” headcanons
he’s made you a lot of things; canvases, jewelry, little trinkets with scrap metal
one of your favorite gifts from him is a suncatcher with rainbow quartz
you fell in love with it and when you move in together, you make sure to hang it up in the kitchen with the bunch of other suncatchers that he’s made you
i love the idea that you would attempt to bring more color in his wardrobe
a lot of his clothes are muted in color; you don’t mind it but you were interested to see what he’d look like in a colorful outfit like yours
To say the least, he was not that enthusiastic and maybe, you shouldn’t have put him in a monochromatic orange outfit but… you still thought he looked cute
leo thought he looked like a traffic cone though so it didn’t stick
it’s okay because you like him the way he is anyways
another thing is that you guys are super supportive of each other and leo loves just how you manage to lift his mood
once leo was having a bad mental health week
you guys were sitting under a tree, looking out at the water
his head laid on your shoulder and small sniffles came from the other
it hurt to see him like this and you wished you could do more to make him feel better
then you had the greatest idea to make a rainbow for him
so you did
leo was so stunned when he saw the rainbow form over the lake
he looked at you surprised and when you admitted to making the rainbow for him, the emotion on his face was indescribable
and then you laughed and held him when he started crying because he said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him
another time, you insisted that meditation would be good for him
he literally sat down for like 3 minutes with his eyes closed before he was itching to get up and do something
even when he was sitting down, he was still bouncing his legs and fidgeting
so that fell through too but you still helped him in other ways and he’s so grateful for your optimism and bubbly personality
leo always says that you bring color to everything; literally and figuratively
one of the things you bring color to is his life
and he’s constantly reminding you of this; that his world just feels brighter now that you’re around
and it’s literal too
since you painted the walls of bunker nine a bright orange
he asked you why orange, and you told him because orange encourages productivity, creativity, and most importantly, optimism
it may have also reminded you of the orange outfit you put him into
anyways, you told him that it hurt you to see him get down in the dumps, and you insisted there was no way he could be sad in a bright orange room
needless to say, you were kinda right
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voidcat · 3 years
Text
characters: nakahara chuuya, you
a/n: idk what this is... im tired, its 1am and i want a haircut... i'd most likely let chuuya give me a haircut. i love that man ig (i'll probs make this an extra chapter to my longfic,, lol)
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"Are you really sure you want me to do this?" you hear Chuuya's worried voice coming from behind you and find yourself rolling your eyes.
Stopping yourself at the last moment from nodding, you sigh. "Chuuya, we've been over this already. Just stop asking and get to work."
Footsteps walking away for a brief moment, only to come back after a clanking noise, he runs a hand through your hair rather hesitantly.
"Alright, message taken." he says and you close your eyes in content.
Except, Chuuya isn't exactly done yet. "Why not ask that boyfriend of yours to cut your hair though?"
Hoping his hold on your hair isn't as thight, you whip your head to face him. "Don't call him that." The smirk on his face tells this time it was just a bait. You can't help but pout.
He only snickers at your furrowed expression. "Sure," he drags out the 'u', "whatever you say."
"Would you entrust your hair which is attached to your head, to a Dazai with scissors?" you say the next words much slower and with emphasis as you turn back to your initial position.
Hands stop stroking your hair and you can tell he's contemplating for a moment.
"Fair enough. I see your point." And with that, you can hear the snapping sounds.
A moment passes with nothing but silence, except for the occasional sounds of scissors snapping and hair falling off.
It's almost comforting, to share a silence with Chuuya.
And when you think about it, of all the times you spent together, be it alone or not, when was it ever with a mutual understanding towards each other, recognizing the silence within one another and just existing?
Far more less than you'd like, you're sure about it.
"'Kay so I know you're sick of me bringing this up, but-" his voice reaches your ears again, you're not sure how close he is standing.
"Why not to somewhere else or, i dont know, ask the others for this?" there is a hint of deffidence in his voice. Perhaps he isn't as much a fan of this as you are. Or maybe he just doesn't know what you expect or how you'll react.
And you can't exactly blame him for that.
"It's just hair, Chuuya. You'll cut it short." You make a snipping gesture with your fingers as you talk. "It's not like I want a specific style anyways." you finish and hear him mumble an "okay"
"Also, I figured it was time we hung out outside our social circles and overlapping work assignments." Chuuya doesn't reply with anything to that statement.
Yet you can tell from his movements and breathing that he has calmed down a little. Maybe if you had a view of him, you could spot shoulders that have relaxed. And if you listen carefully, you can pick up on a low humming coming from his lips. No matter what song it is, you doubt it'll ever surpass his humming.
"Y'know," he begins and you can hear the ease in his voice. "It's almost weird,"
"Weird how?" you don't let him finish.
His hands stopped moving long ago, the scissors probably cast aside. "Seeing you like this." you're not sure where his hands are but you wouldn't mind it if he placed them on your shoulders.
"You mean the hair?" The temptation to turn and watch for his reactions as you speak is strong, very so, yet you resist. Whatever intimacy that lingers in the air, you don't want to disturb it, or him.
"I guess." you can hear him shrug almost. "But it suits you like that too." His hands go up in your hair, almost mindlessly and caress slightly as he speaks.
"Why, thank you!" You smile and lean back, closing your eyes as Chuuya keeps running his hand through your hair.
"It's just-" Chuuya utters and you internally groan.
So much for a shared moment of tranquility.
you cross your arms. "It's just what?"
you didn't realize you spoke with a tone. You wince at it but you doubt you can let out a 'sorry' now.
"I... might've cut your hair a bit too short." he replies a bit timidly, something you'd never expect to hear from him. And he actually sounds apologetic too. You just want to laugh at this.
And you do.
This only confuses the ginger further.
"It's fine." you drag the 'i' and tilt your head as you turn to face him.
Placing your hands on the back of the chair, you rest your chin and lean toward him. "I told you that already, didn't I? I just want a messy, short haircut. It doesn't have to be perfect, or stylish, or whatever it is you assume I want."
And as you lean, he takes a step back. It's always amusing how he flees so sudden whenever you display close proximity to him.
"And besides," you crane your neck a little, "it was quite nice to feel your fingers in my hair." you say in a whisper and smirk, as he struggles to say anything back, face growing the lovely shade of pink you've come to adore on his cheeks.
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captdedeyes · 3 years
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Here's another comic where I process my thoughts & emotions but for once, this one is about my asexuality! 🖤🤍💜
I think this might be one of the few times I'll talk about it publically, but I hope it'll be insightful nonetheless.
LONG story under the fold 📖
Discovering my asexuality was a confusing and messy process. I never came to realize that I was asexual until last summer! But I think that like with all of the other LGBTIA+ identities, the asexual identity thoroughly explained why I had an entire lifetime of grief & confusion.
I think it made me realize that chasing girls to date throughout high school has left me in a broken mindset when it comes to serious relationships...and I think it stuck with me long after that.
I'd always feel an uneasy sense of desperation...like I NEEDED to have a date. But by the time I actually dated a girl, I would feel...empty at some point, and made me wonder why I'm even dating them in the first place.
I eventually gave up on dating because I don't think I'm ready to have a serious relationship. I don't know if I ever WILL be ready, but that's okay...maybe that just means I could be aromantic as well, idk! Maybe I'll get back to that someday lol
Several years after high school, I learned the hard way that sex and NSFW media are not as fulfilling as I thought they would be. Probably because there was a length of time when I used to regularly make my own NSFW art.
I used to think that making and possessing that kind of content was like...bad luck or something. I never felt proud of what I was making...which in hindsight, it's probably a more common feeling than I thought it was, whether you're asexual or not.
But anyway, these anxious thoughts of being in possession of these images were really starting to gnaw on me. I once again felt...empty from creating this content once it was all said and done. It legitimately felt like I was only making that art to fulfill me in the short term.
I had to talk to somebody about this, so I asked a select group of friends I was with at the time (who all made NSFW art of their own). Their advice didn't help, but their words continue to remind me of how I became asexual in the first place.
When I asked them if they ever regretted making NSFW content...they either didn't acknowledge my worries, or they said "it's a part of human nature."
Well YEA...that's true, and it has been for centuries...but what if it's not a part of MY human nature?
I later broke away from that group of friends and deleted ALL of my NSFW content. Every now and then I'll think about these experiences, but I would make sure to never look back. If I can't handle NSFW media, then how would I handle sex?
It was probably a long time coming, but I've always thought that sex as a concept was just so...weird? I've never understood its appeal. On top of that, I was starting to feel extremely uninterested in having children.
But tbh, sex is just a form of intimacy. It's not the ONLY kind of intimacy, but it can definitely be the most intense one! At least I can opt out of sex if I'm uncomfortable with it, even if that means I'll get some weird looks from people who are SUPER involved in sex.
However, it's important to know that asexuality (& aromanticism by extension) is a spectrum. There's no "primary" way to viewing sex. I wound up being sex-repulsed, but that doesn't mean that EVERY ace person will think the same way.
Every ace person's experience is different but they all deserve equal amounts of respect & understanding.
With that said, it's definitely worth researching if you're really thinking about your stance on sex. 🤔
I wouldn't have gotten here without talking to supportive friends or finding posts by other ace people sharing their experiences, so I hope that this post can help people out too! 😊
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syubub · 3 years
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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!
Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.
I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!
I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!
Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.
If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!
Cool cool cool.
Let's get it.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!
LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)
Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.
(Enough talking. Damn)
So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?
Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.
More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.
Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).
Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(
Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.
This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.
I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.
Oki. May and March are also important times.
Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.
Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.
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For the record, the pictures are right to left.
January for the collective
We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"
Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.
This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.
With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.
Now January for BTS!!
We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)
January has been... strange? To say the least.
This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.
For January: possible mixtape or announcement.
February for the collective
We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.
The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later
Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.
February for BTS
We have judgment.
Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!
February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)
March for the collective
The chariot and justice
This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.
Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.
There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.
We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!
March for BTS
Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.
Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!
With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.
I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!
March: possible mixtape or solo project?
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April for the collective
We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.
Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)
And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.
April for BTS
The heirophant
Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.
This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.
April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though
May for the collective
Five of cups and queen of cups reversed
Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.
Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.
Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.
The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.
May for BTS
9 of pentacles
This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!
May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.
Yoongi interlude
I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.
Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.
I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.
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June for the collective
Death and the heirophant reversed.
Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?
The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.
June for BTS
Page of pentacles
Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!
June: idk
July for the collective
10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.
10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.
The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.
If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.
Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.
You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.
July for BTS
4 of swords.
This is about rest and relaxation!
Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?
July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.
August for the collective
5 of coins and the wheel of fortune
Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.
But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.
August for BTS
The devil.
Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.
I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.
August: ???
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September for the collective
We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.
The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!
Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.
This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!
September for BTS
Knight of swords reverse
This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.
September: no clue
October for the collective
Ten of coins and the star reverse.
Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.
With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.
October for BTS
5 of pentacles reverse.
This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.
October: something is likely but idk
November for collective
Six of swords reversed and the moon.
Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.
This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!
November for BTS
7 of wands
Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.
My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.
November: nothin
December for the collective
Two of cups and the emperor!
Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!
two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!
It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.
If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.
December for BTS
Queen of cups
Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.
I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!
December: possibly a thing?
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Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.
For the collective (on the left)
Three of swords and judgment reverse.
The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"
The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.
You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.
Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.
The oracle card is inner temple.
Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.
For BTS
10 of swords and page of swords
The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)
The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.
With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.
The oracle card is Pleiades
This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜
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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)
I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!
Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!
Hope you guys are happy and well 💜
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purplerose244 · 3 years
Text
My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)
SPOILERS ALERT!!!
Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎
Alright, here we go!
GENERAL THOUGHTS
I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍
Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️
While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔
But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩
Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅
THE STORM AMULET
Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅
Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️
Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌
Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?
Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂
LEGO HUG 💜💜💜
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And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙
I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful
Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕
Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯
Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...
BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈
Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂
Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳
And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)
Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙
MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?
Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜
MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂
Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤
RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX
That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍
SPARRING KAI AND RAY
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I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂
Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚
Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??
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BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩
Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂
I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛
Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???
Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤
Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol
Maya: I would know if it was possible!
Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water
Maya:...
Maya: YOU WHAT
I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅
Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️
Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔
Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?
IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥
Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!
Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚
LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!
Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer
Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie
Kalmaar:...
Wu: you're not special
Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊
Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍
This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??
PAPERGIRL
ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜
Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??
She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦
UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘
This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅
Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅
SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂
Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕
I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚
RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤
Well at least you tried Ray 😅
Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪
EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜
I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯
I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭
KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱
Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶
Oh good Kai is back
OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱
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Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴
I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING
This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣
Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty
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"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂
MASTER OF THE SEA
Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛
Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱
Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother
Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course
Bentho: the what now?
Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?
Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW
Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂
No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂
KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤
OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳
*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️
*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅
OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣
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That some meme material right there
Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol
NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢
Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)
HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅
Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂
SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈
Bless these two fire idiots
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They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭
ANOTHER LEGO HUG
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YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊
Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪
Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍
YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅
I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌
Wait what, did something fall?
IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯
Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?
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