#idk. it slaps my nuts what can i say

[jonny-b-meowborn]

finally listened to that ep by the stereosexuals and Jesus fucking Christ calm down Will. It's absolutely foul and kinda gross. I'm going to be listening to this ep forever until I die because well I love it

[wombywoo]

Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~

Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️

First things first--references!

Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃

As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:

Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅

Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️

(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)

Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~

When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:

Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️

Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:

It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.

The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.

Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.

It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️

Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍

Now onto the background!

It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙

I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️

Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..

Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.

Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏

And now--rendering!

I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪

I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:

Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.

This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪

A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️

I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~

Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚

They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can

Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~

The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍

And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:

Tada!! It's done!

All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️

I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~

As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:

A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭

Anyway! peace out ✌️

[userlando]

i am a starved woman with all the Lando content and.... the selfies ah... please if you can write some soft smut with him idk lazy riding him under the sheets while saying something funny, laughs interrupted with moans and all that intimate sex im weak for ma'am

ohhhh my god PLEASE I am a weak woman 💔

rustling sheets (1.7k words) lando norris/fem!reader fluffy smut nsfw

“Behave.” Lando says it lowly, jokingly with a sly smile on his lips that drives you just a little nuts.

You pout and pull your hand away, placing it in your lap as you continue staring at him. Maybe you’re hoping for him to finally give in, to disregard the fact that your hotel room is adjacent with George and Carmen and that management had managed to find a five star hotel for the entire grid to stay at, with the thinnest paper walls to ever exist.

Just a moment ago, you could hear the buzzing coming from George’s electric toothbrush and he’d already pounded his fist against the wall when you laughed a little too loudly at Lando’s ridiculous wet hair when he’d stepped out of the shower.

You’d tried to initiate sex two times now, but Lando had found your advances too funny to give in and so he’d made it his mission to give you the female equivalent to blue balls. Truth was, he was also a bit weirded out that you could hear everything through the walls because he made a lot of embarrassing noises when he was busy getting his rocks off.

Lando was loud and so were you, even if you claimed that you weren’t, and he wanted to be able to look his colleague in the eye tomorrow morning without thinking about how George knew what Lando sounded like when he came.

You were getting harder to resist though, sitting beside him in bed and looking so beautiful that he had to almost fist his hands to keep from reaching out to you. You were only in your pajamas, cotton blue ones that he was tempted to rip off of you because you were pouting. Like you'd reached for the cookie jar and he'd slapped your hand away.

He couldn’t see it, eyes staring a little too hard at his phone screen like he was reading something very interesting but he could very much feel your eyes boring into the side of his head.

“Lando?” You asked, the softness of your voice breaking the silence and Lando grunted.

“Yes, baby?” He tried to sound indifferent, casual and cool. Like he wasn’t growing hard at the gentle touch of your soft thigh against his.

You smirked, knowing that he was close to breaking his resolve because you could see the tips of his ears turning pink.

“Finding anything interesting?” You asked innocently and Lando glanced at you a little questioningly. You nodded your head at his phone in his hands.

“Oh.” He heaved a sigh. “Yeah, just reading some comments from fans on today’s quali.”

As if that’s more interesting than you. You almost rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t keep the sigh from escaping your lungs as you sat up in bed, tucking your legs under you with your body positioned in front of him. Lando wasn’t even sparing you a glance, and you wanted to get back at him so bad that you didn’t even give it a second thought as you hooked your fingers under the hem of your shirt and yanked it over your head.

Lando made a noise in his throat that sounded a lot like a dying animal grasping for its last breath, and you blinked at him in mock innocence. His eyes were as wide as saucers, unblinking as he stared at your tits unashamedly.

“What are you doing?” He asked in a whisper, voice high and cheeks flushing a pretty pink.

“What?” You asked, looking down at your chest like you couldn’t figure out why he was reacting the way he was. “I’m warm, and you know I hate sleeping with a shirt.”

“No you don’t.” Lando said immediately, because you almost always slept without trousers but not a shirt. You knew he was a boob man, and fuck were they looking good right now.

His resolve broke and he was just about to toss his phone to the side and reach for your waist when you sighed dramatically, clambering to pull the covers over you and settle into bed. Lando stared, perplexed when you turned your back to him.

“Well, I am now.” You said. “I’m going to sleep now, can you get the light, honey?”

Lando narrowed his eyes at the back of your head, because honey? Really? You were really playing with him now and he didn’t care one bit that your antics seemed to have the desired effect on him, dropping his phone somewhere and scooting down on the bed. He could spot the smile on your face when he spooned you, pressing his entire front body against your back and resting his chin on your shoulder.

You wiggled a little, feeling his hard on against your ass and Lando opened his mouth to bite your shoulder in retaliation. It made you squeal with a laugh, squirming to get away from him but he had an iron grip on your body, arms tightening to keep you in place.

“I changed my mind.” He rasped in your ear and you giggled when he nipped the sensitive skin under your earlobe.

He tugged lightly on your torso until you turned around, raising your head up to press a kiss to his lips. Lando exhaled through his nose, a delighted noise against your mouth as he pried it open in order to taste your tongue.

You pushed on his shoulder in a silent request to lay down, making an effort to straddle him and sit up but the covers got all tangled up with your legs and it set Lando off into a fit of laughter.

“Don’t laugh at me! I’m trying to be sexy.” You tried to pout but the smile on your face was hard to keep at bay because your boyfriend’s laughter was too contagious.

“Aw, baby.” He grinned, cheeks flushed as he reached for your head and brought you in for a kiss. “You’re still sexy to me.”

“Really?” You asked, like you weren’t straddling him and feeling every inch of his half-hard cock against your crotch. He must’ve had the same thought because his hips jutted up, making you gasp at the unexpected sensation. “Okay, I believe you.”

“Good girl.” He said, looking all too smug but he looked wildly hot as well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad when he tugged on the waistband of your shorts. “Now, take these off so I can fuck you silly.”

You scrambled to get them off, struggling with how you were sitting on top of Lando but he was nothing if not patient, holding back laughter until you were finally sat naked and pretty on his lap. His hand wandered down between your spread legs, fingers touching the wetness of your folds and pinching your clit just to hear you whimper.

Lando couldn’t take his eyes off of you as he got his fingers inside of you, stretching you out and allowing you to ride his fingers for a bit. You were in your own world, gasping and moaning beautifully for him with your torso all stretched out and tits on display. He blew out a breath, deeming you stretched out enough because if he waited for a moment longer, he was sure he’d blow in his joggers.

You pouted a little mournfully when he slipped his fingers out, but Lando didn’t miss the way your eyes lit up when he pushed his joggers and underwear off to get his cock out. He spit in his hand and slicked himself up as best as he could, but you were way more impatient than he was and it showed by the way you gripped him in your hand and guided him to your hole.

The moan you let out made Lando’s chest clench in absolute need, feeling him stretch you deliciously and you hunched forward to place both of your palms on his chest. The skin there whitened as you dug your fingertips into it, taking him to the base and quivering at the stretch and burn from the lack of lube.

You loved it though, moving your hips to establish a rhythm but Lando was quick to still you with his hands on your hips. You leaned your head forward to look down at him, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“The bed is creaking.” He whispered, eyes a little glossy but wide. You laughed, grinding forward and immediately stopping when the bed gave off a protesting groan that you'd failed to notice earlier. “Fuck’s sake.”

You clenched around him, gasping when his hands dug into your hips.

“Don’t fucking do that.” He hissed, a desperation in his voice that made you smile.

You did it again, this time putting a little roll to your hips that had Lando’s eyelids fluttering shut as his eyes rolled back. He pressed the back of his skull against the pillow, the stretch of his exposed neck straining as he struggled to hold in his groan.

“What do you expect me to do?” You frowned, glancing at the floor beside the bed.

Lando followed your line of vision, eyebrows jumping like he just had a good idea. The unprepared squeal you let out was loud in the room when he turned the both of you around, pressing you into the bed and sucking kisses into your neck. It had you laughing and squirming under him, hands covering your face from the onslaught of attacks but he was quick to grab your wrists and pin them to the sides of your head.

“Want to shag on the floor?” He asked, lips brushing yours and you grinned up at him.

“That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me, Norris.” You pretended to fawn, giggling along with him when he dropped his weight on top of you.

Your hands quickly found their way under his joggers, gripping his bare arse cheeks in your palms and Lando groaned playfully against your cheek.

“What am I going to do with you?” He nuzzled his nose against your cheek and you smiled.

“I have a few ideas.” You whispered, pulling him against your body. “But we’ll need to be quick, before George puts his fist through the wall.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

let's pretend i didn't write this at work. but hey, i hope this is what you wanted anon! i had a lot of fun writing this, let me know what you think. ily all <3

[elsweetheart]

omg idk if this is ok to ask since you’ve never written for hazel but like what do you think her reaction to you mindlessly wearing a super short skirt in front of her would be like… maybe ur like freshly into the relationship n didn’t have sex yet so she’d go crazy i 🤭

no because she’s so silly and awkward but like so horny ♡

waiting in line for your iced latte at the university cafe and she’s backed up a few steps, literally removing her arm from around your shoulder so she can ogle at you without looking like a total creep. you look back to glance at her and she nearly does a full spin trying to pretend she wasn’t looking — and she wasn’t! honest! she was trying to read the rhinestone lettering on the tiny pink skirt that just happened to be spelling something out across your ass!

you didn’t even say anything or acknowledge her gaze, and yet excuses come tumbling suddenly — “n-no—i wasn’t — you had a…” she waves her hand like she’s casting a fucking spell, mumbling something about a stain and your attention is captured again by the barista handing over your drink, paying no attention to hazels rambling as it certainly wasn’t out of character. it’s only back in the safety of your dorm when she brings it up again, because she quite literally cannot keep her eyes off the skirt so she figured she should say something, you know out of politeness.

“so, ‘that a new skirt or?” she trails off hoping it sounded casual and nonchalant. you stand from where you’re sat at your desk, absolutely elated that she noticed the tiny skirt you wore just for her, and she’s breaking into a grin of her own at how cute you were when you were excited. god, she was down dreadful.

“yes! i literally went to get it from the post room yesterday, it’s so cute — it says spoiled across the ass look!” you turn around, twisting at the waist to look down at it yourself. hazels eyes widen naturally, rubbing her sweaty hands on her knees, self soothing so she didn’t nut in her pants there and then. the swell of your ass peeks from beneath the skirt, having ridden up and her mouth waters. she wants to bite the flesh there, not in a weird way or anything just… shit.

“y—i mean, yeah it’s…” she stands up, wandering over to you gently slapping her fist into the palm of her opposing hand, smile fading into more of a smirk— not cocky just… relaxed. whatever it was, it made you bat your lashes a little. “you kinda have this thing where you look good in everything you wear?” she squints, leaning back a little, her voice getting higher as if she was gently breaking news to you. “but the skirt is really pretty. you’re really pretty.” she smiles simply.

you feel all hot in the face and appreciated, rolling your glossy lips over eachother (which she doesn’t miss, her eyes flickering downwards chanting ‘oh fuck’ in her head undoubtably.) “well im glad. i did buy it because like… i don’t know, wanted you to like it.” you get all shy on her and she smiles even bigger.

“well i definitely do. a little too much.”

you giggle and so does she, your fingers interlocking where they hang before you lift them up, looking up sweetly through your lashes to kiss the ring on her knuckle. she shouldn’t get a shiver up her spine from that, because it was pretty innocent— but she was having some urges all of a sudden. she gently shakes a hand free and cups your cheek. “you uh— missed my mouth.” her voice gets breathy towards the end of the sentence as she closes in, pressing her lips to yours.

[ahegato]

[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Asmodeus

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: assmodeus Writer: ahegato

Context:  The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon | leviathan | satan | asmodeus (ur here) | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon

ASMODEUS:

the wisest one of the bunch on the topic, to no one’s surprise

he’s the literal avatar of lust, and he’s probably taken a bunch of virginities before

assy boy knows what to do to make things easier for you

he doesn’t want things to feel forced or pressured, so he tries to keep it lighthearted by being sweet and goofy

makes sure you’re completely relaxed through the process

if he notices that you’re getting anxious, he’ll pause and snuggle with you for a bit

and if you feel bad for pausing, he’ll be right there and reassure you that it’s okay

if you were to change your mind about doing it today, he would have no issues with it

he’s not together with you for the sex, he’s with you because he genuinely loves you, and he’s determined to prove it to you

again, he may be the avatar of lust, but he’s also the avatar of intimacy, of any kind

if you want to please him, he’ll give you instructions and be encouraging, reassuring you that you don’t have to be good right away and that he appreciates you just trying

“Relax, sweetie.” Asmodeus whispers as he slowly inserts himself inside of you. He lets out a moan once he’s all the way in, and he reaches a hand down to stroke your cheek. He continues to coo loving words to you, reassuring you that the pain is gonna go away soon, and that it’s going to feel so good after that - and he’s right.

Just like he said, the pain begins to fade when you’ve adjusted to his size. Once you give him the go ahead, he moves out of you, leaving you feeling surprisingly empty, to then slowly go back in, earning a small moan from you.

“You feel so good...” he moans through a sigh, changing the angle of his thrust, hitting you at the sweetest spot. 

He’ll do whatever you say. Wanna go faster? Sure thing. Want it harder? Absolutely! He trusts that you’ll tell him if anything feels off, as he’s always made sure that you feel like you can be open to him, so he has no issues getting a little rougher if that’s what you want. Not to mention again, but he’s the avatar of lust. He can tell if you’re genuinely enjoying it or not, and he has no doubts that you definitely are. The way you’re pulling him towards you with your legs wrapped around his waist, and how you’re hugging his dick even tighter than before.

When he feels himself getting close he slows down, much to your disappointment, and he chuckles at the displeased look on your face.

“Come here, I would like to try something.” 

Once you agree, he’ll pull you closer before laying the both of you down on your sides, his legs in between yours. He enters you again, snakes his arms around your back, before beginning to roughly thrust into you, the new position getting him even deeper and driving you absolutely nuts.

He lets out a short moan every time he pushes into you, the sound of your skin slapping against each other driving him wild, and he’s instinctively hugging you tighter.

“I...I’m about to cum...” he whimpers, slowing down a little to give you time to react.

It’s completely up to you where he finishes, whether it be inside you or on you. Afterwards you’ll probably be rather tired, so he’ll help you get cleaned up, and then he’ll snuggle with you in bed until you both fall asleep.

✦ written 04/2024, posted 22/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

[layraket]

there was an update you know the drill. time to go nuts with each pannel.

I LOVE HOW IN THE FIRST PAGE WE DIRECTLY GET HIT WITH SO MANY EMOTIONS FROM EVERY ONE OF THE BOYS.

Wild with the realisation that he didnt finish this all, not yet. Theres still danger, the same thing that almost killed his brother is still breathing and can if it wants to do the same with the rest of his newfound family

Twilight i feel like is almost the same as Wild, but for other reasons. The Shadow almost took his life, and after he thought that it was finally dead, boom. That thing is still out there and maybe is gonna be around for some more time.

He wants to believe that theres something else also opening the gates, that the Shadow is really dead and it's just another weird monster who opened the one that Sky saw

Hyrule confirms it, and reminds Twi that no, the damn thing is still out there and will go in a hunting game with each one of them.

Wild realised his mistake, he didn't kill it, he destroyed it's defenses. What if he stayed and searched for every piece of the Shadow and destroy it? They will be having this same conversation? He hopes to at least for it to happend in another time

Wind got a point here, if youre not sure of all it's tricks it looked like it was finally dead. Wild and any of them would have never guessed if it was the end or not. Not even Time

side note but

Wild looks so sad here, no not sad. Guilty is the word. He feels like he failed, again. If he thought more what to do maybe his brothers will not be in danger

OKAY I WANT TO STOP IN HERE FOR JUST A SEC.

I know it is maybe something without importance, but the fact that Four is the one who we are focused, how he looks like he's carefull listening Wild's words of auto-inflicted guilt. He looks like hes thinking the statement carefully, Wild didn't failed shit, it wasnt his faoult that they were trapped in this whole mess across time, and Four knows it.

We are stopping being serious for a moment just to admire this. theyre confused. thinking. out of context even. idk. i love this specific pannel. theyre such a mood.

we need to stop a second more because goddamn it this pannel slaps

The representation of Time being surronded by the choice of help his descendant or kill the thing that hurted him in the first place, he's just a man who got throught a lot, and even after all thta he's still trapped in this choosing what to do (both options will have consquences) thing

and here we got more of Wars being the traditional paramedic of the group! I remember a person saying that yeah Hyrule can heal people with magic, but Warriors participated in a war, so he knows basic treathening and i think thats so perfect and true for his character

theyre still processing the fact that Twilight and Wolfie are the same, it haven't been discussed properly since Twi woke up, and i think it will be in a future when everyone is more settled down

this man doesn't regret the danger he put himself under, he knows it was for the safety of his brothers and to stop this madness

also he was tired of it running like a total coward from them, if it was going to kill them at least it shouldn't run from what it started!

oh no. he caught you Twi. now you will suffer the consequences of putting yourself in danger so many times with them not knowing

oh four. You really know what youre saying

youre the one who know the most that theyre doing better than it could

if this means that theyre finally using all their items im so in for the whole chaos that it would bring in the fights

Legend has a shit ton of items and weapons, mostly inclined to magic, i need to see that.

i remembered something

Jojo said that Hyrule will have more importance in the future, if this means something... Oh shit

im not highing up my expectations, but i know that we will see his enemies sooner than we expect

and that will not end up well for the ones who don't know how to manage them

this background, no words. 10/10.

These two pannels killed me

Time is directly watching his descendant, and Twilight knows well why. He doesn't blames him, he knows that he scared them all to death. He doesn't want to go throught that with one of them too

this confirms that Sky can sense what makes Fi react, he can feel when she's upset with something, maybe he felt the anger when Twi got hurt, her fury whne she couldn't defend him. That's her duty right? Protect and serve her masters

sky i love you this was so unserious and out of place such a perfect ending of update

NOW THE THING THAT EVERYONE WAS WAITING

WARRIORS GOT HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SCARF BACK!!!!1!!!

(art credits goes to @linkeduniverse ! )

[heartsoji]

UM HI IM NOT RLLY SURE IF U TAKE REQUESRS SO IF U DONT U CAN IGNORE THIS.,,

hear me out, KENMA and RINTARO nd NISHINOYA x reader that turns any comment they make dirty 😭 (and a lot of deez nuts jokes bc idc that ppl don’t say them anymore they’re funny 😞)

HQ BOYS W/ AN S/O WHO MAKES A LOT OF DIRTY JOKES

genre: fluff but just a lil suggestive

a/n: STOP BCS THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAVE ENERGY

warnings: mentions of nudity, dirty jokes but its pretty mild, two swears, idk wtf i was doing on suna's and noya's lol (ok for noya ive never written for him before but wtf happened with suna)

K. KENMA

"chicken fries, ken. chicken fries." you pestered.

"ok, ok. and can i add one order of chicken fries, please?"

"of course!" said the cashier cheerily through the drive-thru mic. "so just to confirm, a bourbon bacon cheeseburger triple, cheese fries, chicken fries, a large sprite, a medium coke, a vanilla frosty, and a chocolate frosty?"

"yep." kenma confirmed.

"ok, please drive up to the window."

once you two got your food, kenma parked in the parking lot and took a spoonful of his chocolate frosty and smiled contentedly. you laughed in response, to which he pouted/glared to and turned away from you.

"i like wendy's." kenma scowled.

"me too. i love it in my mouth, but also.."you paused. "when deez NUTS are in yours!"

you earned a slap to the head.

"OWW KENMAAA YOU VIOLENT PUDDING-HEAD MF"

he simply smiled and went back to eating.

"..hey, pudding-head."

"what?"

"DONT EAT WENDYS!! HOW ABOUT PUDDING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD"

(pause)

"OWWW"

S. RINTARO

"our class got a new student today." suna mentioned casually as he scrolled through tiktok.

"yeah, i heard about that! he's from america, right? what's his name?" you asked.

"uhh.. sato. sato phillip." suna answered, struggling to pronounce the first name. "his dad's japanese and his mom's greek."

"phillip, huh?" you wondered aloud. "hey rin, you wanna skip making dinner tonight?"

"huh?" suna asked, confused. "where'd that come from?"

"YOU COULD PHILLIP ON DEEZ NUTS INSTEAD"

"well, that's kinky. i suppose i wouldnt mind giving it a try." suna replied, deadpan. "have you already ordered the attachable rubber balls?"

this guy thinks hes so cool for that.

"fuck you, rin."

"please do."

this brat.

N. YUU

"noya, what should i be for halloween this year?" you asked your boyfriend.

"hmm.." he thought about it long and hard. "a maid!" that earned him a slap to the 2-inch hair.

he laughed. "well, i suppose a fairy could be cute too."

"a fairy? then, you should be the goblin!" you beamed.

"HEY!" nova cried, offended. "why am i the goblin?"

"GOBLIN BOFA DEEZ NUTS"

noya paused for a second before bursting out cackling.

"THAT MADE THE FACT THAT I GOT A D ON MY TEST TODAY SO MUCH BETTER"

you gasped. "but we studied together! he gave you a d?!"

"yeah. i'm giving you a d too."

"boy what?"

"GIVING YOU DEEZ NUTS"

it was your turn to burst out cackling childishly.

"ok but for real, noya. lets be serious. deez nuts jokes kinda suck." you said, getting dead serious.

"HUH?! YOU SUCK!"

"SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS"

noya then POUNCED on you and laughed into your neck, sending ticklish sensations down your spine.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO"

you both doubled down laughing, and you didn't even know what you were laughing at at this point.

[slamminslamminmcgill]

honestly idk if its just bc im crossfaded rn (weed and four loko) but im fully willing to take the "/j" out of the "breeding /j" with joel. im willing to go full seahorse for him. fuck it he deserves another kid. whuose with me 🙌🙏👼🪽

LITERALLY YES IK HIS BREEDING KINK IS INSATIABLE!!!!

ik his balls are huge and heavy and they slap into ur t-dick during backshots and you can feel him throbbing inside you when he gets close. he growls,

“shit, too fuckin’ tight… gonna make me cum, kid.”

like the average quiplash player you ignore every word that isn’t “cum” and egg him on,

“yes! yes, please, please cum inside me! please cum inside me, fill me up!”

your eagerness, no, neediness, excites him,

“yeah? that’s what’cha want? y’want me to bust a nut in you? pump you full of my cum and breed this li’l cunt?”

“yes! yes, yes, please fill me up! please cum inside me, i want it! i want you to breeeeed meee…”

he reminds you of the consequences,

“you want my cum that bad, whore? what if i get you pregnant, huh?”

but you can’t be bothered with them,

“i don’t care! i don’t f-fucking care, fuck! fuck, i want it so bad, please, please!”

“you gon’ let me put a baby in you? knock this little pussy up?”

“yes!”

“you want me to be your baby daddy?”

“yes, yes!”

“say please, boy.”

“please, daddy, knock me up! oh, fuck, fucking, get- get me pregnant, please!!!”

whether it takes or not is a problem for later, but he’ll give you what you want for now

“alright, alright, sweetheart, shhh, relax… hold on tight, boy… daddy’s gonna… mmm, daddy’s gonna fill you up. be good and take it. let daddy knock you up.”

he leans over and squeezes your body up against his as he ruts into you furiously. when he finally cums it’s with a deep groan in your ear, the sound traveling down your spine and crashing into the seismic waves of pleasure rumbling through you on the way up. and his load is BIG like you feel so warm and full and you can’t sit up in bed without feeling a couple of his kids dripping out of you 🥺🥺🥺 iconic

[lemonmatronics]

I just got done watching Out of the Past and I don’t think I’ll ever recover omg

I cried like 5 times and it took me an hour to get through cause I had to keep pausing to freak out and compose myself

That episode…GOD THAT EPISODE

I wanna ramble so spoilers below the cut since it’s like, actually a lot

So much in that episode got revealed it’s making me insane

Aja and Shana being the first Starlight Girls makes me so insane. Idk if they had ever mentioned that before and I just didn’t notice or forgot, but GOD that adds sm to the whole band’s bond. As well as adding to them working at Starlight too. They didn’t just work there because they agreed with the dream Jacqui stood for, Aja and Shana WERE the dream. That makes me sooooo crazy TEEHEEHEE

Also the reveal of how their mom died…ough

It explains a lot about Jerrica’s whole character to me tbh. Throughout the whole series so far I’ve been here thinking, “Wow, Jerrica is awfully patient and understanding with people. She’s barely ever mad at or super upset with people she cares about, and if she is it’s not for long”

and like…after learning that YEAH, Of course she’s like that! The last time she saw her mother she acted awful to her

What if she gets upset with someone and that’s the last time she ever sees them? It makes so much sense to me and makes what was seemingly a “flat and almost always perfect” type of character a lot more compelling. Not to say I didn’t like her before, I fuckin adore Jerrica, but that layer of extra complexity adds a LOT to her.

Speaking of Jerrica I loved seeing her grieve more. Both her and Kimber both seemed to have delayed reactions to each of their parents deaths, and sure that may have been accidental (most likely was), I think it’s interesting that big events and happenstances cause these emotions to bubble up later on. It’s gives a grounded layer of realism to their characters and I like that!

I also like that Jerrica used to kinda be a brat when she was younger. She wasn’t ALWAYS so thoughtful and acted like any kid and teen would to stuff happening around her, which again I like. It’s a realistic layer to her that adds a lot for me.

Onto talking about her mom more, the insight on both parents makes me nuts. Synergy being made with Jacqui’s voice and such drives me up the wall, that reveal floored me. But I like that it doesn’t change the fact Synergy is still her own separate being, she’s not Jacqui herself, only similar.

And the earrings being the last thing their father made…ohh makes me crazy. He wanted to give them to Jerrica personally…OOOH MAKES ME CRAZY….HE KNEW HE WAS DYING AND SPENT HIS LAST DAYS GETTING THINGS READY FOR HIS FAMILY…...OOOOHHHH MAKES ME CRAZY

And Eric Raymond…Eric when I catch you Eric. I’m going to kill that man I SWEAR DJJSHX Like I knew he was fucked up but OH MY GOD DUDE

Burning them in front of her!? Knowing it’s all she really has left of her mom voice!?

Slap was DESERVED. Her crying for her mom over the fire, her straight up reaching INTO the fire!? Should’ve beaten his ass.

Side note I fuckin love how much they slap men in this show. It’s not so much it loses its shock and impact when it happens, but enough to where you can say “yeah they slap guys a lot” and it’s true.

I also really like that The Misfits aren’t really active antagonists in this episode either. For multiple reasons.

The most they do is help Eric look for those tapes, and they don’t even know why they’re so important. Even after asking, and Eric is the one that finds them anyways so they don’t ever find out. And they’re left at that, no other appearance.

The Misfit’s rivalry with Jem is very petty and spiteful, as much as it may feel personal for them, it’s really not. It’s simply a band rivalry, an extreme one, but it’s formed out of very juvenile motivation.

Eric’s rivalry is not, his beef with Jerrica is IMMENSELY more personal not only because he used to be part of the company, but because he used to be a friend of the family. He knew this girl ever since she was a teenager, and she was ALWAYS a threat to him having full company control. And once she managed to kick him out the door any nice facade with her was over. She’s the reason he lost so much and depends so heavily on a band that treats him like shit (haha).

Their rivalry is infinitely more personal, and for such a personal conflict involving Jerrica’s dead mother, the woman that started Starlight, it only makes sense this would be a battle for him and him alone.

Additionally,, I just don’t think even The Misfits would go that far. Hell even Raymond with anyone else, but because it was Jerrica Benton specifically he had no issue burning her mother’s tapes right in front of her.

[brainrotlesbian]

Rare whump moments in cartoons

A lot of the media I like is animated, and as such, there’s not many whumpy moments in such cartoons or movies, but there are some good moments in them, so here is a non-comprehensive list of pretty good whumpy moments in my good Christian (/j) child cartoons:

True Colors (season 2 episode 20 of Amphibia). Not really until the last five minutes of the episode, but it’s well worth it. Sasha and Anne find out Marcy’s lied to and manipulated them, and also that King Andrias has done the same (not really whump but it adds to it I swear), Sprig is thrown out of a window. From a flying castle that’s nearly a mile above ground. Marcy is stabbed through the abdomen with a flaming sword and with her last conscious moments she apologizes then collapses to the ground presumed dead.

A Bug’s Life (idk the last 30 minutes?) Yeah, you read that right. A Bug’s Life. When Flik is beaten by Hopper. Good shit, good shit. The bruises, the groaning in pain, the attempting to push himself onto his feet only for his strength to fail and he falls down into the ground? Beautiful

Save The Cat (season 5 episode idk 2 or 3 of She-ra 2018). Yeah I know I said I don’t really like lady whump but like this is lesbian angst so it’s fine with me. I’m also a huge sucker for brainwashing/mind control especially when paired with said brainwashed person forced to fight a loved one

Yunan and Olivia (season 3 episode 7 of Amphibia). Holy mother of god I was not expecting that level of whump from the silly frog show. The screaming from Marcy as she’s digitally possessed by the core? Horrifying. Haunts my dreams. Oh and also there’s illusions of the three characters’ biggest traumas/fears/regrets and it’s great. If y’all thought True Colors was bad, you were right, but Yunan and Olivia is worse

The Mortis Arc of the Clone Wars (season 3) Yeah it’s kinda cheating to put an entire arc but like c’mon. 1. Lore about the nature of the force and the prophecy and the chosen one and 2. We had two different fights between the trio with one who was possessed (sorta) (Ahsoka vs Anakin and Obi Wan, then Anakin vs Obi Wan). Does this really count as whump? Ehhhh kinda sorta it’s more angst but whatever

I forgot the name of this episode but it’s some time in DuckTales 2017 season 2. Oh yeah. Fucking DuckTales. Donald gets captured by the moon people (it’s kinda funny they have this unique muzzle/gag thing they slap over his bill and he literally does not say an intelligible word until it’s blown off from an anger outburst). After discovering General Lunaris’s plan to invade earth and kill the triplets, he launches back to earth… only to end up on a deserted island for months without contact with the outside world. He kinda goes a little nuts once the family finds him

ROTTMNT movie. That’s it. The whole damn movie. Leo has the living shit beaten out of him. Raph is possessed. Everyone almost dies

The Bad Batch arc of the Clone Wars season 7. Again, cheating, I know, but holy hell, the arc around rescuing Echo and they find him half-dead, emaciated, white as a sheet, and connected neurologically to the computer system so the Separatists can search his memories for republic strategies? That’s good shit. It leaves a lot up to the imagination as to what, exactly, Echo went through.

Season 2 episode I forgot of Gravity Falls: when Dipper gets possessed by Bill. Not the whumpiest but still ok, especially at the end when he’s like “ohhh everything hurts” cause Bill wore his body out

[neoninu]

New fursona dropped✨

Celestial Puppers were just a silly satirical ‘closed species’ that my fiancé and I jokingly came up with but idk I unironically love them :’)) They are just sparkle dogs. There’s nothing inherently unique about them, I just miss the deviantart sparkledog era LMAO

Celestial Pupper lore: There are two types, Night and Day. Neo is a Day Celestial and Vas is a Night Celestial. Celestial Puppers are a magical immortal sapient species that also has a human form and can be any colour, (Night ones tend to be dark themed, and Day ones tend to be vibrant) What are Elemental alignments? Idk. Whatever word you vibe with first, slap it in there. What are Celestial Elements? Who knows. I just put whatever I felt like LMAO Anyway, anyone can make a celestial pupper, it’s not actually a closed species, go nuts! Make the sparkledogs of your dreams and tag me I wanna see all the woofs

EDIT: I FORGOT TO SAY; The leader of the Celestial Puppers is called Jun Woof! (Which parodies Jun Wu, Emperor of the gods in Heaven Official’s Blessing)

[missveryvery]

Would you ever play bg3 as Trelle?

I keep thinking about it.

But you have unlocked something I want to vent/ramble about, anon. Forgive me.

Here's a TMI/depression dump that you can skip if you like to get to the pertinent answer at the bottom.

I, myself, am getting some, idk, ptsd shit from the game from how much trauma they dump on you and how you have to check in on everyone and do things for them and no one is taking care of you or asking about your own shit. I'm in too deep at this point to not finish at least one of my playthroughs but there's different places where characters are really fucking with you in painful ways.

So after I finish one (1) I will need to take a fucking breather before I start another. It can be good to go "ok, do you see the red flags you missed here? All the things that made you uncomfortable that you ignored for affection/attention/"the greater good"/being a team player/"being a good person" etc? Do you see how you could recognize it happening to other characters but not yourself?" in the safety of a game, but the feelings and sensations it brings up are real.

I get really bad nightmares, but the difference between a normal person with nightmares and me is that my brain doesn't "let go" of them the way it's supposed to so I get the trauma without the cleansing benefits of processing that stuff your brain is supposed to do when you sleep. This is why I avoid a lot of content with bad endings or that are just too fucked up or upsetting. I avoid a lot of media period now, I can't finish shows because I'm afraid of how they'll end, that they'll end badly (even just in some unsatisfying way like it's just badly written) and I'll be residually upset for too long.

I did not realize how upsetting this game would be, I thought it would be more "Honor Among Thieves" fun in tone but it's relentlessly heavy, and your "accomplishments" are all "realistic" in a "you can only do so much way". You save the Grove and...horrific things still happen. Some of the people there are still exclusionary pieces of shit. Even Halsin comes to the city and starts going "wow everyone is so shitty to refugees here, maybe the shadow druids were right, this city should be razed to the ground" like my GUY. Your Grove that you led did all the same fucking shit. What are you talking about. Shadow druids would just do all this harder. The fuck are you saying to me.

I don't think there's a way to slap him and point that out?!?

All that said, Trelle could not handle the shit happening in that game. It is Too Much. There were very fucked up things in CH but Rodrigo wouldn't go "there" and definitely wouldn't linger there if he did. She is not built for that. She has fucked up things in her past but there's ways of handling those things in the delivery and part of that is not making it Everything Is This and It is Constant. Like the ratio of Clown Business to Worst Thing You've Ever Heard is different.

That's a big difference between bg3 and an actual dnd game is that the DM can feel out what the players want and adjust. If your DM is good, they are constantly tweaking to make the experience as fun as possible for the group. Sometimes that means your players want more fucked up stuff and less clown, sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes what they want differs from day to day. Like "ok everyone wants to go shopping, it's shopping day" and sometimes it's "everyone is going to go nuts if they don't fix what's happening".

This all sounds like it's a bad game. It's not. It's a masterpiece of game making and writing. But it's demanding.

NOT TMI ANSWER:

if I "stayed true to the character" trelle would fuck up so bad, she would not be able to beat the beegees, that girl would not survive that experience even if she did somehow complete the bigger goal. Obliterated. Done-zo.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. Robin with one if the Adults)

Pt 14

Robin and Murray

Robin, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Murray, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

(Canon. Also, who gave Robin coffee?!? 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I wish I was a dinosaur.

Robin: Why? Cause they're big and scary?

Murray: Because they're dead.

(Does this mean Alexei is a dinosaur??)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies.

Murray: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?

Robin: I have depression, what do you think?

(naww, Murray worried about Robin being sick 🥺 also Damn)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: That was a joke. Say ha.

Murray: Ha.

Robin: Now do it again.

Murray: Ha.

Robin: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

(I can honestly see this interaction between them)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Robin: Where did you get that?

Murray: My pocket.

Robin: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Murray: Skills.

(New headcanon, Murray was a magician once ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*At a bank teller window*

Robin, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!

Murray: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!

Robin: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*

Murray: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

(Honestly, I just put it here because of the Italian thing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.

Robin: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

(but she probably has Adhd, so she may get distracted sometimes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: When was the last time you slept?

Robin: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Murray: A few- how many?!

Robin: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Murray: What you need is sleep!

(Honestly this could be added to the one above like that's literally what Murray asked after she said that insomniac part)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Robin: But ya' didn't!

(another version of how Robin gets to Murray's after the fight, is that Murray just sees her standing on a street corner because she doesn't know where to go lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Murray: What the hell do you do?

Robin: I die? What kinda question...

(That's when Murray gave Robin a speech to be confident, idk 👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Murray and I are sitting on the couch watching TV and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen

Robin: I get up, got to the kitchen to check it....

Robin: And it's a text from Murray saying "Please bring chips on the way back"

(the modern Thanksgiving Version when they watch Football lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Robin, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

Robin: No, it’s mine.

Murray: It... looks just like the one I have...

Robin: You don’t have one like this anymore.

(I honestly didn't get that one at first, it took be a bit to understand lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Robin...

Robin: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

(She does give a fuck, she just wants to seem unaffected by it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?

Robin: Never seen one.

Murray: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.

Robin: What can’t I see?

Murray: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.

Robin: Yeah, I can drop an apple.

Murray: Fuck.

(That was on of their conspiracy theory talks. 100%.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: What's that?

Robin: Chocolate.

Murray: What's chocolate?

Robin: Candy. Do they not have candy where you're from?

Murray: Yeah. Grapes, nuts.

Robin: No wonder you're so bitter.

(Honestly, feels accurate, but also not)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: *slams books down in front of Robin*

Murray: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Robin: You could of said literally anything else.

Murray: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Robin: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

(that's how Murray starts his Russian lessons)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: That’s illegal, right?

Robin: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?

Murray: No-

Robin: Then shut the fuck up.

(as an empath, I feel like she's mad 👀. And I feel like she's gonna get revenge on the person that probably hurt on of her children)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*

Robin: …

Murray: …I get confused sometimes.

Robin: Me too.

(naww, they are father-daugther Soulmates✨🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Robin and Karen]

Karen: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six.

Robin, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

(Karen never asked Robin to go shopping for her ever again)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I am a responsible adult!

Karen: *raises brow*

Robin: I am an adult.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-

Karen: ...Why would you even drink tea with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??

Robin: BECAUSE YOU WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

(Poor Robin, I feel her, I also drank tea with a metal straw before 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Robin: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Karen: ...

Robin: ...

Karen: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

(Robin and Dustin, the tomatoes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Fight me!

Karen, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

(She won't let anyone of the friends from her children get hurt)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: What happened to your nose?

Robin: I used it to break some guy's fist.

(that's absolutely something she would say instead of "I got punched in the face")

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: Robin...

Robin: Oh no, 'Robin' in B flat.

Robin: You're disappointed.

(literally how Karen reacted to the one above)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You’re giving me a sticker?

Karen: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Robin: I’m not a preschooler.

Karen: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Robin: I earned this, back off!

(Honestly, still would fit with the one above, honestly it would be a tiny story and the start is the campers thing and Robin is in camp with the others where Karen is a camp counselor or smth lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: So what do you have planned for the future?

Robin: Lunch.

Karen: No, like long term.

Robin: Oh...um, dinner?

(I don't even have that planned 😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You read my diary?

Karen: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

(it's probably about a girl, who has mommy issues and a dead dad, with an unrequited love for another girl. Omg Karen reads Sapphic books 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.

Robin: Mmm, we aren't really that close.

Karen: Oh, good.

(Oh lol. She probably said that after reading her diary, so fitting)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: So, she kissed me.

Robin: And you kissed her back?

Karen: No, I kissed her mouth.

(Omg Karen is a Lesbian 👀.. Who did she kiss?... Was it Joyce? 👀...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Karen: Robin... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.

Robin: *muffled* mm hmmm :)

Karen: I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

(what can is say, Mothers adore Robin. Also Nancy is not at all jealous of her Mom)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You have Crayons?

Karen: Yes, I have—

Robin: You're— how old are you?

Karen: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

(She could have just lied and said they were for Holly... But I respect her honesty....does that mean it were Karen's crayons Max drew with?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Robin and Joyce] (also i don't think they would act like that with each other)

Robin: Joyce, I sense hostility.

Joyce: Good, because I hate you.

(Joyce doesn't like that Robin is trying to steal Will 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?!

Robin, standing in front of Joyce: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen*

Joyce, crying: Please...stop...

(Robin like: What I want is to adopt your son)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You played me!

Joyce: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

(the adoption papers were fake 😱😭 poor Robin 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce, near tears: Please, Robin, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

(Robin will only stop until she gets Will)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, dramatically: They called me a fool.

Joyce, sick of Robin's shit: They weren’t wrong.

(Robin's feels so betrayaled rn, how dare Joyce say that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: When I was your age-

Robin, mocking Joyce: When I was your height.

Joyce:

Joyce: Listen here you little shit-

(She may be small, but she can kick your butt 👀 so watch out Robin 👀 you barely escaped Nancy last time)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You might not know this, Joyce, but I am a flawed person.

Joyce: I do know that.

(And we love your flaws as well as your perfection)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: You have your weirdly sincere humility.

Robin: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

(it should be self-loving, but you can have my love for you 🥺❤️✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Hi, I'm Robin's emergency contact.

Counter Woman: You're here to pick them up?

Joyce: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.

(Murray wrote down her number (with his) in case he wasn't reachable at that moment. And Joyce had no idea lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Where are your parents?

Robin: What are parents?

Joyce: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

(That's when Joyce started warming up to Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Joyce and Robin looking at a locked gate into a park*

Joyce: Aw. :(

Robin: You know what they say.

Joyce: Please don’t-

Robin: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Joyce: Frick-

(That's not that bad)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Watcha got there..?

Robin: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

Bonus:

Joyce:....Bring that animal back from where you got it, tomorrow is the wedding and I don't need any distractions rn

(...let's hope nothing happens...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: What the hell were you thinking?

Robin: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Joyce: You released OSTRICHES!

(oh God...she had more... Joyce regrets trying to be friends with her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.

Robin: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

(it was the ostrich thing. That was your misstep, but well she apologized now)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

Joyce: What did you do?!

Robin: NOBODY DIED!

Joyce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

(She is just running from someone and wanted to make sure that you knew that it's not because someone died that she's here)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Joyce: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.

Robin: But your way is sheer force!

(Joyce helping her with the person Robin was running from from before)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I made this friendship bracelet for you, as a thank you

Joyce: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Robin: You don’t have to wear…

Joyce: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

(now they are friends ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Teacher: Your child was in a fight.

Joyce: Oh no, that’s terrible!

Robin: Did they win?

(And they share custody over Will)

(this is the end of the, not really realistic but maybe it is realistic, journey of the friendship between Robin and Joyce)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Robin and Hopper]

Robin: I felt awful about killing you.

Hopper:

Robin: Even though technically you never even died, so I don't know why your bitching about it

(I mean it's not her fault, but she did Crack the Russian code which led Hopper and the others to go down and he 'died'. Also the "technically you never even died' fits perfect. Also this would be at the reunion at the Cabin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(Honestly this is also basically a tiny story lol)

Robin: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Hopper: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

(shush and help her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I am going to need you to swear-

Hopper: Fuck.

Robin:

Robin: ...swear as in promise.

(Yea..this needs to be a secret)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Hopper: You mean you stabbed them?

Robin: They ran into my knife.

(Robin explained why she called Hopper over after he promised not to tell anyone)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Why would I flip my shit about that?

Robin: Because you flip your shit about everything.

Hopper: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.

(his reaction after the explanation)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Hopper: Those are wanted posters!

(however, someone saw what happened and went to the police, now they are looking for her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Robin: I was in the will?

(now they are in the court room, trying to proof that it was self defense)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.

Robin: Forty five seconds?!?

Hopper: No! I said four TO five seconds.

Robin, hugging Hopper: Too late.

(They won the case)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Robin: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

(They celebrated after they won)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Robin: All I drank was Redbull!

Hopper: How many?

Robin: Eighteen.

(The day after the celebration with the others)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: What's wrong with you?

Robin: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

(his reaction and well Robin accidentally? telling him her life story)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: My life is a mess.

Hopper: Robin relax, go get a beer.

Robin: I don’t want a beer.

Hopper Who said it was for you?

(his reaction to that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.

Robin: Mmm, we aren't really that close.

Hopper: Oh, good.

(after hearing about her mom)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: I’ve only had Robin for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

(him thinking to himself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Robin: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

(He asked the group because he wants to punch the people who hurt Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(Time skip)

Robin: What are you doing here?

Hopper: I could ask you the same question.

Robin: I live here.

Hopper: I should probably ask you a different question.

(when Hopper was at Murray's and Robin just came back from something. I know she has an apartment but she still basically lives with Murray sometimes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Hold on, I can explain!

Robin: Really? Can you now?

Hopper: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

(what was Hopper doing there you may asked 👀 well figure it out yourself)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Are you reading fan fiction?

Hopper, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.

Robin: Oh, is it on AO3?

Hopper: This is CNN.

(after explaining or lying 👀 Hopper wanted to read stuff, but Robin was annoying him)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hopper: Could you be anymore annoying?

Robin: Yes.

(Yes.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You disgust me.

Hopper: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

(Robin finally stopped annoying him because he disgusted her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I want a trip down memory lane.

Hopper: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Robin's lap*

Hopper: I heard you needed these?

Robin: YES! ALL OF THEM!

(Robin got bored and Hopper came to the rescue)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(Time skip)

Robin: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.

Hopper: You were too lazy to read the book?!

Robin: I was too lazy to watch the movie.

(He thought it was an emergency and he didn't have any other way to get her out so he used the fire alarm)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*at a zoo*

Robin: What are they in for?

Hopper: Robin, this isn't prison.

Robin: So they can leave?

Hopper: No, but-

Robin, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

(Robin's first time at a Zoo, which Hopper took her to since he had nothing better to do after that school thing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..

Hopper: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

(And this is the end. Are the people drowing going to be recused? Are they going to die? Will Robin get fired or will she not get fired? We shall never know)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Well this was more fun then I thought.

Besides the Murray one the others were basically stories.

Hope you liked it!

Lots of love ✨❤️🤗✨

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW for gaslighting, verbal and emotional abuse as well as self harm.

my nickname is isa

I’m looking for maybe advice and support?

so, I think my brother is abusive. I’m 20 and he’s 19. i recently started going to therapy due to the sexual abuse I faced as a child/teen and in a random bout of confidence I confided in him and told him what had happened to me. he offered a smoke, but overall didn’t react. and I guess I liked that he didn’t, it made me feel okay because lord knows i was not prepared to cry that night. later on maybe about a week after, I was watching tv and he comes beside me and is trying to get my attention. i play along and we’re teasing and he’s poking fun and he says “hey isa, hey, wanna see this message this gay guy sent me? he’s trying to get with me, he’s trying to molest me, he’s gonna rape me” and I just couldn’t move. i was horrified and when I told him not to say that, he waved it off as a joke and because I’m me, I let it go. another week passes and I’m in the kitchen just chopping nuts for some bread I was making and from behind me he asks what the time is. our oven clock is broken so I say “oh it’s 12 something” and it gets quiet and he says “isa, what do you do in this house? do you have a job, do you make money, do you do anything?”. And I thought he was being fake serious so I played along and said “I go to school” “school…that’s it?” “Yep” and when I turn around he’s just pissed and he has this look of just pure hate.

“When I ask for the goddamn time give it to me, don’t give me that bullshit” and I was just shocked, I kept asking if he was serious and he just kept cursing me out “You’re so stupid, you’re such a fucking bitch. Why are you always so difficult”. And I couldn’t take it, I got my keys and drove to some park and cried just asking myself why I was even here. It’s not the first time he’s yelled at me like that, on more than a few occasions he has punched a wall or gotten in my face to where I can only cry, he’s slapped me once too but to be fair I slapped him first. He was talking about how he wants to kill himself and I panicked and gave him a tap on the cheek, and I didn’t mean to it was honestly just some reaction and before I could apologize he slapped me back, hard. it was kind of funny actually he said “these hands are rated E for everyone, you hit me I’ll hit you back”. i don’t think that really counts though since I did it first but idk. and now he hasn’t said a word to me. he’s ignoring me, won’t speak to me, won’t do anything. and I just don’t know. usually after he yells at me like that he avoids me or gives me a “I’m sorry” text and then we go back to normal but, this time rattled me more than I thought it would. and I don’t know. is he abusive? am I exaggerating? i love him and want to forgive him but, I know it’s not that simple. he was admitted to the psych ward not too long ago and diagnosed with OCD and I get it you know he has some issues he has to work through and I’ve tried to be nicer or just less difficult but no matter what I do it always ends the same. He doesn’t curse out my other siblings, it’s always just me.

Hi isa,

I'm sorry about what you've been through and are going through right now.

OCD and any mental health issues for that matter are no excuse for abusive behavior. What you described sounds abusive physically, emotionally, verbally, and perhaps even psychologically as well.

I don't think you're exaggerating. There is nothing you did or could do to deserve abuse. It sounds like he reacts disproportionately to the situation. You don't deserve to take this. I'm wondering if your parents or guardians are aware of his behavior. If anyone has any tips or suggestions please feel free to add on.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[chaosvents]

i hate election years living with my parents, man. the world is burning, the arctic is melting, the wealth gap is spreading, wages are stagnant, cost of living is skyrocketing, and rights are being taken away and regulated at the whim of old men with hearts full of hate. meanwhile i have to gently talk my mother through an explanation of why it's bad that donald trump said he'd be a dictator, but only on his first day. she also said if biden loses he will also incite an insurrection? and that idk what makes her think that but she also yelled at me for saying trump is a convicted criminal. "so is joe biden" not... not for attempting a coup in response to losing an election though. but she doesn't see the difference. granted my mom kind of revels in her stupidity, i don't really understand her. she's proud of not knowing things, but i'm very much the type of person who is trying to learn every minute of every day, i jokingly call it 'need to know everything disease' and it is a blessing and a curse. the curse is Knowing How Bad It Really Is, obviously. but the blessing is knowing wtf is going on with the world. but she's proud of not knowing anything i'm ever talking about. she's been married to my dad for almost 30 years and she jokes nonstop about how her eyes glaze over when he talks about his work (that he's been doing for 40 years). like... that's not the flex you think it is?

anyway. all rants end up with my mother because she's the root of most of my trauma. my point here is that i was telling her i was anxious about the election and she decided to spend a couple hours arguing. and her point just drives me nuts. basically, she's not voting out of protest ("i'll vote when i see a good option, im 55 and i never have"). no amount of gentle slow explaining can convince her why that's not the protest she thinks it is. her secondary point is that all politicians are vicious criminals who hate you. which, like, yeah, but she uses it as an excuse to play dumb. she's proud of not knowing literally anything at all about politics because the depth and breadth of her knowledge is "politics is boring and politicians are bad". like please. please. the anti-intellectualism is killing me. why do you hate learning.

and that's another thing she does that makes me insane! she's one of those "i make fun of you because i love you" people and bringing it up will just get you a fuckton more teasing. i've spent a decade begging her not to constantly make fun of and bully me because it makes me feel like im in school again. but every time i bring it up she asks "if i didnt tease you how would you know i love you?" as if i wouldn't feel so much more loved if she listened to me. anyway one of the things she teases me about is that i like to learn. i will bring up something cool i learned and she immediately bursts into laughter. i've asked her questions afterwards and she always answers like "i don't know, i wasn't really listening". i'll tell a story and she'll respond with something completely random in a way that shows she wasn't listening even a little bit. that happens especially when im excited and telling good news and she responds with "oh, it'll be okay, hopefully tomorrow is better". like???? okay not only were you not listening, you also see my excitement and joy and assume you need to comfort me? what the fuck is wrong with her.

my sister is a nurse and her and i talk about this all the time. my mom acts stoned constantly. she takes 30-60 seconds to respond to any question and her response is "...what?" at least 1/3 of the time. the rest of the time it's a toss-up whether her response will be a random sentence she pulled out of her ass, or something that has anything to do with the topic being discussed. she doesn't do drugs either! no weed, no pills, not even alcohol. i swear to god she's proud of being stupid and slow. like she's doing it on purpose. she never used to be like this. it makes me want to slap her. wake the fuck up! react to something! join a conversation! learn something about your kid or husband! fuck!

[i-create-as-i-speak]

so after viewing good omens s2 i got really into stacking the events of ep6 up against the events of Jason Robert Brown's musical The Last Five Years. since we all seem equally delusional on this little app i thought i'd just copy and paste my notes here.

not to sound desperate or anything but please please please someone meet me at my niche please please please please please please ple-

~

last five years/aziracrow: a running analysis

az!jamie

crow!cathy

a story of two people operating at different speeds and believing that they understand how to love and be loved by each other

Still Hurting 🖤

- enough said

- "jamie's convinced that the problems are mine / jamie is probably feeling just fine"

Shiksa Goddess 🪽

- religious metaphors yaaas

- az and his puppydog head-over-heels simpness for pretty people

See I'm Smiling 🖤

- ANGRY CROWLEY. ANGRY CROWLEY ANGRY CROWLEY ANGRY CROWLEY HAAHAGAHAHAVAHVAJDVDKSJDBSHDHDGDJS

- i love them and they love each other but az needs to be severely humbled.

- "you know what makes me nuts? the fact that we could be together, here together...you could be here with me or be there with them, as usual guess which you pick"

- "you, you, nothing but you" (see A Part of That)

- "i swear to god i'll never understand / how you can stand there, straight and tall / see i'm crying / and not do anything at all" :((((

Moving Too Fast 🪽

- az walking back to the bookshop after his conversation w the metatron it gets worse the more you think about it

- JAMIE IS AN AUTHOR. AZIRAPHALE IS A BOOKSELLER. IT WORKS OH MY GOD

A Part of That 🖤

- "i tend to follow in his stride, instead of side by side i take his cue"

- "then he smiles and where else can i go? i didn't know the rules do not apply"

- az always goes off on his own and has these silly ridiculous endeavors (Mr. Fell, borrowing the bentley, etc) and who is crowley to say no?

- less about aziraphale finding more success than crowley, more about how crowley always does absolutely everything for him

- wondering if it meant anything at all after s2

Story of Schmuel 🪽

- not really THAT consistent but

- giving Amazing Mr. Fell? or any time crowley fell all the more in love with his silliness and charm

HOW DID I FORGET

Summer in Ohio 🖤

- idk lol this song is uncrowley

The Next Ten Minutes 🖤🪽

- "will you share your life with me?" "forever?" "for the next ten minutes"

- oh crowley. nothing lasts forever

A Miracle Would Happen 🪽

- miracles you say?

- idk this song makes me mad

Climbing Uphill 🖤

- again, not consistent but sort of reminds me of crowley answering to beelzebub/shax while az is getting slaps on the wrist from heaven

- French Revolution when crowley says "hell doesn't write strongly worded notes" yk

If I Didn't Believe In You 🪽

- except it's genuine and not (intentionally) manipulative

- "why do i have to feel i've committed some felony doing what i always swore i would do?"

- basically az talking about how nice it would be for both of them to be angels again

I Can Do Better Than That 🖤

- crowley is madly in love

- this is almost crowley's DEEP internal monologue, "you don't have to [xyz] just love me"

- az is the only one who never abandoned crowley across ALL of time. crowley is clingy, he is head over heels, he is obsessed

Nobody Needs to Know 🪽

- no no this makes me sad

Goodbye 🖤 / I Could Never Rescue You🪽

- aziraphale being so deluded, caught up in this glorious heavenly fantasy, thinking that crowley is entirely in the wrong for wanting to stay on earth, believing that he (az) knows what's best for crowley