#if anybody knows please tell me. at the risk of feeling really silly for not placing it i need 2 know

[riotshotguns]

edit; i played more of the game and i know now ! you can have a conversation with him about it

fucked with my audio settings to hear tim’s humming better and i am so so bothered by the fact that i can’t place this tune. bec it feels really familiar

[skiller0dani]

Pogue on Pogue | JJ Maybank

M A S T E R L I S T Outer Banks Masterlist

smut requests info w.c | 8.9k summary | you and jj are together, despite both being pogues. You knew you’d have to hide your relationship from the rest of the pogues, and what makes it worse? John B is your twin brother.

The bonfire was lit, the stars were out, there were stolen kook beers, and yet you still didn’t feel like partying. You knew sooner or later Kiara or Pope would come bother you about it, and that your twin brother, John B, would call you a drag. The night air had a slight chill to it, but that didn’t stop drunk college kids on their Spring break from jumping into the ocean. You sat on the porch of the Chateau, a beer in your palm. Luckily nobody bothered you, seeing as only the pogues are allowed inside the Chateau. Your eyes settled on your boyfriend, who was currently talking to a group of slightly drunk female tourists. You knew he was trying to keep up appearances, the rest of the pogues didn’t know you and JJ were together. If they saw him blow off hot girls, they’d definitely know something was up. So as much as it stung to do so, you gave him the okay to flirt with them a little. You knew JJ wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was doing what you told him to. But you can guess that those tourists aren’t virgins, and would totally be down to fuck JJ. You however are a virgin, and somehow JJ has lasted 4 weeks without sex. You can’t help but feel insecure about the fact that your boyfriend is used to getting sex whenever he wants, and now because of you he can’t. You feel like his ‘ball and chain’ so to speak. Despite him reassuring you that he’s fine with waiting for you, it still eats at you. Especially when you see him flirting with other girls, is he thinking about having sex with them?

“What’s up with you? You’ve been weird all night.” Kiara said as she sat on the porch steps next to you. You were bracing for when one of them would come talk to you. You smiled with a shrug.

“Not in the party mood I guess.” You say dismissively, and you know instantly that she doesn’t buy it for a second. One glance and Kiara knows that something is really bothering you, and you wished you could tell her about it. But she would tell John B, and then John would punch JJ. You don’t want to come in between their friendship, and you know your brother won’t be okay with you and JJ.

“Liar.” Is all she says, leaning back with a raised brow. You lift your beer to your lips, avoiding eye contact.

“You think JJ’s gonna score tonight?” Kiara asks, a teasing tone to her voice. Before you and JJ got together, everyone would make bets on whether or not JJ would get laid that night.

“I bet he will.” She says again, laughing lightly at herself. When she doesn’t hear you laughing with her, she turns her gaze towards you. It’s silly, but you feel your heart constricting in your chest. If JJ had it his way he would probably screw one of those stupid girls pushing their cleavage out so he’ll look. He probably has.

“I bet he won’t.” You say finally, trying to keep the emotion out of your voice. You don’t risk sparing a glance at her just in case she’s looking at you. One look in your teary eyes and she’ll know immediately. You watch with burning eyes as the girl to JJ’s left leans in closer to press her lips against his neck. Feeling emotion swell in your chest you stand from the porch step.

“Don’t feel good, gonna lay down.” Is all you manage before the first tear falls and you’re pushing into the Chateau. Moments after the door shuts, JJ is gently pushing the girl off of him with a nervous chuckle, his eyes briefly catching Kiara’s. Her eyebrows furrow, why would JJ turn her down? Glancing back to where you were previously sat, it clicks. Kiara’s eyes widen, you and JJ are so dating. Kiara stands with a triumphant smile on her face as she takes the empty seat left by the girl JJ rejected.

“Could’ve sworn you were gonna bone her JJ.” Kiara says casually, and JJ shifts uncomfortably.

“Not the right mood I guess.” He laughs nervously, fixing his hat.

“Why? Afraid of upsetting your girlfriend?” Kiara says it so casually and so quickly that JJ doesn’t really think about it until after the fateful words leave his mouth.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“So you do have a girlfriend! Who is it?” Kiara whispers excitedly, leaning closer to JJ.

“Nobody, I don’t have one Kie.” JJ says, backtracking immediately. But the look in Kiara’s face tells JJ it’s too late for that. Shit.

“Is it Y/N?” Her eyes read JJ’s face intently, trying to find any sort of giveaway because she knows JJ isn’t going to budge on this subject. Normally JJ is pretty forthcoming with information, sometimes sharing details the other pogues do not want to hear, but he’s being pretty tight-lipped about this.

“No! Of course not!” JJ says too quickly, his voice also having raised an octave. Kiara tries to hide her smirk and leans back towards the fire, a casual look on her face.

“Well I hope not, because Y/N is inside the Chateau crying.”

“What? Why?” JJ’s head snaps up to look into the Chateau, ignoring the victorious look on Kiara’s face. He knows going inside will give you guys away, at least to Kiara. So he sits there, in front of that fire, for all of 5 minutes before he’s standing from the log he’s sat on. He can’t get it out of his head, you’re crying. Why are you crying? Did he do something wrong? Did he take the flirting too far? He was only doing it a little, just like you said. The anxiety turning in his gut is enough for him to take off his hat to run his fingers nervously through his hair.

“I knew it!” Kiara says victoriously, JJ rolls his eyes.

“Shut up Kie, and don’t tell John B!” He calls over his shoulder as he skips up the Chateau steps. Sure enough, as soon as he passes the threshold of the front door he can hear soft crying coming from one of the bedrooms. JJ wrings his hands together, he’s never really been in a relationship before and he’s terrified of fucking it up.

“Baby? You in here?” JJ asks softly, leaning against the wall next to your bedroom door. He hears the crying stop and it feels like his heart is breaking. You slowly open the door and the sight of your tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes has him cupping your cheeks.

“What’s the matter?” His voice is soft and concerned, it brings a new wave of tears to your eyes. You press yourself into his chest, your arms wrapping around his torso as you hear him kick the door shut with his foot. JJ sits on your bed, pulling you to stand between his legs. His hands are still cupping your cheeks and you see concern in his eyes.

“Baby please talk to me, if I did something wrong just tell me.” JJ nearly pleads, and you shake your head, your hands falling to his shoulders.

“Doesn’t it bother you that I’m not ready to have sex?” You asked, your voice shaky. JJ swiped away a falling tear with his thumb before shaking his head.

“No baby it doesn’t. I want to wait for you, you’re the girl of my dreams. I’ve had it bad for you for as long as I can remember. Now I finally have you, and I’m willing to wait as long as it takes.” JJ says, looking directly into your eyes.

“But you’re used to having sex regularly JJ, I feel like an ankle weight-”

“No Y/N. What are you even saying? You’re not my ankle weight. I am used to having sex regularly, but with people I don’t really care about. You satisfy me in a way they never can, I will wait for you because I want to wait for you.” JJ says again, a serious look in his eyes as his hands force you to look at him.

“Do you think about doing it...with other girls?” You can’t help but ask him, even though you know what he’s going to say. You just need to hear him say it.

“Never, and I never will.” JJ says firmly, his hands rubbing circles onto your lower back. You nod, feeling your heart rate calm and the tears come to a stop. You feel JJ wind his arms around your waist, pulling you flush with him. Your fingers brush through his hair, and you feel him smile against your tummy. JJ tries not to feel disheartened when you doubt his dedication to you so often, but at the same time he can’t really blame you. The entire time you’ve known JJ, you’ve never seen him commit to anybody. But that’s because he’s never wanted to commit to anyone, until he started dating you. You want to have sex with JJ, but you have no idea what’s holding you back. Maybe you should just start slow, really slow.

“JJ?” You take a step back from him, his hands falling away from your hips. He turns his gaze up to you, watching you curiously as you turn your bedside lamp on. You reach for the hem of your shirt, feeling your heart practically pounding in your throat as you pull it up and over your head. JJ’s eyes widen as he takes in the sight of you in your bra.

“What’re you doing baby? I-I’m okay with waiting.” His voice is distracted, and he can’t tear his eyes off your chest.

“I know, and I’ll be ready soon. First I-I want you to see me. So I can just get it over with.” Your cheeks are heated as you stand shirtless before him. From the way JJ’s eyes are drinking in any exposed skin, you feel like you’re naked when you’ve only taken off your shirt. JJ nods, leaning back against his palms.

“O-Okay.” He swallows thickly, doing his best to stay composed. You’re just so damn beautiful. You reach for your shorts, quickly pushing them down your legs leaving you in your underwear and bra before him. JJ sucks in a heavy breath, his eyes tailing down your hips to your legs. JJ curses himself when he feels a certain appendage hardening in his shorts, now is not the time. He doesn't want to scare you away. You trust JJ with your life, I mean he literally shielded you from gunshots with his body. You couldn’t imagine doing this for anybody else, you can’t imagine losing your virginity to anybody else. It’s always been JJ.

“You’re beautiful baby.” JJ breathes when he notices your hesitation. You feel some of the nerves leave you then, but you still feel like you could faint at any moment. You close your eyes to steel your nerves as you reach back to unclip your bra and let it fall to the floor. When JJ groans softly you feel your entire body heat up and a jolt go straight between your legs. JJ almost can’t believe how lucky he is, every inch of you is absolutely stunning.

“God, your tits are perfect baby.” JJ groans, his pupils blown wide as he lets his eyes drink in the newly exposed skin. Gradually, JJ’s shorts are growing tighter and tighter- it’s getting hard to stay composed. You’re driving him to the brink of insanity, you really expect him to watch you strip naked in front of him and do nothing about it? He’s definitely gonna have to rub one out in the shower after this. You smile shyly as your cheeks burn red at his words of praise. You feel your palms shaking as you hook your fingers into your underwear. After this last piece of clothing, you’ll be completely naked in front of JJ.

“It’s alright baby, just take your time.” JJ says, his voice soft and reassuring. You feel your heart racing faster and faster, that’s when JJ’s hands cover yours.

“Do you want me to? I mean cause I can, if that’ll be easier.” JJ says and you nod instantly, you want to show him all of you but you can’t seem to stop shaking. If it was left up to you, you’d spend the rest of the night contemplating it. You step forward into JJ’s open arms, your eyes squeeze shut when you feel him begin to slide your panties down your legs. By now, JJ has a heartbeat in his pants, and he’s so hard it’s becoming sort of painful. He’s not bashful about his hard on though, it’s not the first time you’ll have caught him with one. JJ takes a deep breath to try and hold onto his last shred of sanity as he helps you carefully step out of your panties so he can toss them aside. His eyes meet yours to send you a little wink before his eyes start to trail south. Your trembling palms are holding tightly onto his shoulders, nobody has ever seen you naked before. Except for Kiara once on accident, but that was just Kie. No boy has ever seen you naked. Ever. When JJ’s eyes land on your pussy, he feels that last bit of sanity ooze out his ears and disappear. Everything about your body is so perfect and JJ can’t help the growl that escapes his lips upon seeing you completely naked for the first time. Sneakily, he also steals a glance at that perfect ass of yours without you knowing.

“Shit baby you’re killin me.” JJ groans, his hands on your hips as he gently pushes you to take a step back. You feel like your entire body is on fire when JJ looks at you, and you suddenly have no idea what you were so scared of. Clearly JJ thinks your body is beautiful, he’s said so. JJ’s eyes can’t stop trailing up and down your body, and he can’t decide what his favorite part is. Your perfect tits? Round ass? Or that beautiful pussy between your legs? JJ turns his gaze back up to meet yours, a small smile on his face. He reaches up to gently grasp at the back of your neck to tug you down for a kiss. His lips meet yours softly, moving slowly against your own.

“You’ve seen me...I wanna see you.” You mumble against his lips and you feel his breath catch in his throat. Sure, girls have seen JJ naked before but never in such an intimate setting. This is far more romantic than any other sexual encounter he’s had, and you guys aren’t even doing anything sexual. JJ presses another firm kiss to your lips before he’s standing from the bed, kicking his shoes off.

“Well? Sit your sexy little ass down.” JJ instructs, pointing at the bed. You blush with a giggle as you do what he says. You settle down on the bed where he just was, slowly feeling more comfortable being naked in his presence. God you love this man. The thought enters your mind before you can stop it. Your eyes widen, are you in love with JJ? You watch with excited eyes as JJ pulls his socks off, and you can’t help but giggle when his hand comes up to stop himself from falling over. JJ starts off easy, pulling his shirt over his head. You’ve seen him shirtless a thousand times. It’s when he reaches for the button of his shorts that you swallow a thick lump in your throat. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say JJ looks nervous. You feel excitement buzzing in your body when JJ unbuttons his shorts and kicks them off leaving him standing before you in his black boxer briefs.

“Are you ready? I don’t think you are.” JJ teases, earning himself a shy laugh from you. You’re so cute that JJ isn’t sure what to do with himself sometimes. Sending you one final wink and JJ is yanking his boxer briefs down, his erection bobbing up. JJ releases a soft sigh of relief as his cock is released, it was becoming pretty damn painful. Your eyes widen and you can’t look anywhere other than at his dick, which is way bigger than you were expecting. You see the blush dusting across his cheeks, and you swallow a lump in your throat.

“Holy shit.” Is all you can bring yourself to choke out, earning a smug smirk from JJ. In all honesty, JJ feels a little more exposed then he was expecting to. Every time he’s been naked in front of a girl, it’s because they were about to have sex. But never has he been naked solely for a girl to see him naked. It’s intimidating. JJ feels his cock throb when his eyes trail down your naked body again, he’s not going to last much longer. Blowing out a breath, JJ stoops down to grab your clothes, but he doesn’t miss the hurt flash in your eyes.

“Baby as much as I would love to admire your naked body for the rest of the night, I can’t hold myself back for much longer. So before I jizz in my pants can you please put some clothes back on?” JJ says, his voice strained. You can’t help the laugh as it bubbles up from your chest, reaching down to start putting your clothes back on. After your panties and bra have been slid back on, you steal another look at JJ who is just about to pull his boxers back up his legs. JJ has been incredibly sweet these last few weeks, he’s never pressured you to have sex with him and has been nothing but understanding and patient with you even though not having sex is hard for him. You want to repay him for how amazing he’s treated you, how perfect of a boyfriend he’s been.

“JJ? W-wait.” You stammer, reaching to grab his hand. JJ’s eyebrows raise as you push him to sit down on the bed before kneeling between his legs. Now the new view JJ has been blessed to see has him clenching his fists, you on your knees before him is almost too much for him.

“What are d-doing babe?” JJ tries to keep his voice from breaking, but when you slowly inch closer to his cock his voice catches in his throat.

“I-I wanted to thank you for being the best boyfriend I could have asked for. You’ve never made me feel bad about wanting to wait.”

“Baby I’d never pressure you to do something you didn’t want to. So you do not have to do this, I’m okay baby really.” JJ reassures you quickly, he doesn’t want to make you feel like you have to pleasure him just because he’s hard. His dick has a complete mind of it’s own and JJ can’t control when it gets hard.

“I want to, really I do!” You say instantly and JJ swallows thickly before he nods. He leans down to press a quick kiss to your lips before he’s leaning back up again.

“Have you ever done this before?” JJ asks, he knows you’re a virgin but that doesn’t mean you haven’t done other stuff. He’s silently praying you say no because if you say yes, he’s going to ask who and then he’s going to go beat the shit out of him. Only JJ gets to see you this way.

“N-no.” You stammer and JJ releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

“Thank God. I didn’t feel like beating someone to a pulp today.” He says, releasing a comically large breath. You laugh before playfully slapping his chest, JJ always knows how to make you feel safe and comfortable at all times. You have no idea how he does that. You place one dainty hand on his thigh, and JJ can practically taste the hesitancy coming from you.

“It’s easy baby, just go slow and don’t bite me.” JJ says soothingly, and you nod before scooting forward to take his cock in your hand. JJ hisses softly when you jerk him once, your eyes snapping up when you hear a low groan come from his chest. You lean forward to drag your tongue up the underside of his cock, and JJ moans softly. The sound sends waves of pleasure between your legs. You see a bead of precum at the tip and gently you swipe your thumb over it and JJ groans again.

“Doin’ good baby.” JJ praises, stroking a hand across your cheek. While his tone may be soft and gentle, the look in his eyes is less so. The lust in his gaze is enough to send heat all through your body, the way he’s looking at you is making you throb. You nervously lean up to take his cock into your mouth, and you suckle on the tip. JJ groans desperately, his head falling back as your tongue licks the underside of his head. This has to be the best damn blowjob he’s ever received. You slowly take his cock further into your mouth, your lips stretching wide around him. Your hand comes up to grab whatever you can’t fit in your mouth and JJ moans loudly.

“God damn baby, you sure you’ve never done this? You’re a fuckin’ natural.” JJ groans, his hands curling around the sheets of your bed. You continue to slide down as far as you can before you feel JJ harshly pulling on your hair. He pulls your head back and then gently pushes you back down before you get the hang of it. You bob your head on his cock, and when you look back up you see that JJ is nearly panting. Your slow pace is the most wonderful torture, you’re slowly edging him to orgasm.

“Fuck you look so beautiful on your knees.” JJ growls, his head tipping back up so he can look at you again. You look up at him through your lashes and JJ groans, his hand stroking your cheek again. You can tell he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, so when you accidentally hollow your cheeks you see his eyes flutter shut. So you do it again. JJ reaches down to yank your hand up and instantly you massage his balls in your hand, and soon JJ is squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

“Holy shit baby do not stop please.” JJ pleads, allowing himself to fall back against the bed as you tongue the underside of his cock again. You jerk with your hand what you can’t fit in your mouth and watching JJ slowly unravel above you brings you some form of sadistic happiness. Soon one of JJ’s shaky hands lands on your shoulder.

“I’m gonna cum baby, y-you sure you can take it all in your mouth?” He asks, his eyes looking desperate for relief. You nod instantly, you crave to feel him cum in your mouth. You continue to quickly suck him off, taking him as far into your mouth as you can before you feel one of JJ’s hands hold your head in place on his cock. You feel his body shudder before JJ is cumming in hot spurts down your throat and by the time you pull off of him, your thighs are slick with your arousal.

“Fuck baby.” JJ sighs happily, reaching down to pull you up and onto the bed next to him. His eyes are half lidded as he looks over at you, a happy smile spread across his face. You suddenly feel kind of shy even though you just had his cock in your mouth like 2 minutes ago. He leans up on his elbows and presses a kiss to your forehead before standing to find his clothes.

“You’re leaving?” You can’t hide the disappointment in your voice.

“Just to the living room baby. I’m so fucking tired and John B will kill me if he sees me in here with you.” JJ laughs nervously and as much as you hate it, he’s right. John B would probably punch JJ if he caught him in here with you. You feel a strange sense of pride upon realizing it was you that wore JJ out. You smile as he leans down to press a long hard kiss to your lips. JJ sends you a wink before checking that the coast is clear so he can slip out into the hallway.

//

“John B is going to kill JJ, you know that right?” Pope said as you made your way to the HMS Pogue, where your brother was patching a hole in the bottom. You forced Pope to accompany you as you told John B about you and JJ, just in case he went after JJ. You nearly had to tie your boyfriend up to prevent him from joining you, and while you love that he wants to be here- it’s safer for him if he isn’t.

“No, because you won’t let him. Right?” You ask, turning to look at Pope with an eyebrow raised. Pope sighed, he knew this was a bad idea. A really bad idea, but luckily you managed to convince JJ to stay in the Chateau. You seemed to be the only person who could tame JJ, and the only person who could talk sense into him.

“Right.” Pope agrees as you two finally stop behind John B, who is crouched in the HMS Pogue. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, only opening your mouth to speak when Pope encouragingly elbows you.

“Heya Johnny.” You say happily, using a nickname John B only lets you use. John B turns with a suspicious glint in his eyes, that feeling only being confirmed further when he sees Pope standing next to you.

“What is it?” He asks, and you know there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.

“There’s something I should probably tell you.” You sigh, sitting on the edge of the boat next to him. John B leans back from you, almost as if he’s bracing for whatever you’re about to say. His eyes flicker to Pope again.

“I swear to God if you got my sister pregnant-”

“Ew no! Pope is just here for...protection.” You say carefully, watching confusion dawn on John B’s face. Pope’s face scrunches up.

“Protection? You scared of me?” You see genuine concern in his eyes so you quickly shake your head.

“No! No of course not, just ignore him. You’ll understand why he’s here soon.” You say, mumbling the last part. John B sits, patiently waiting for you to say whatever you need to say.

“JJ and I… we’re dating-”

“I knew it. JJ is fucking dead.” John B snaps, already standing from the boat. Luckily you brought Pope with you because almost immediately Pope is placing his palms on John B’s chest.

“Stop and listen.” He says forcefully, shoving John B backwards lightly. Begrudgingly, John B sits back down next to you.

“You’re not allowed to be mad at JJ.” You say, watching as John B refuses to meet your eye. He is mad, and that’s completely unfair.

“He’s macking my sister. Not cool.” John B snaps, and you roll your eyes.

“I made the first move! You’re not allowed to be a jerk about this Johnny. I really care about JJ.” You say sincerely, finally drawing John B’s eyes to yours.

“Y/N, JJ is my best friend and I love him but it’s not you I’m worried about. I know you like JJ, and I know you’ll stay committed to him. I just don’t know if you can trust him not to break your heart. I don’t know if JJ will stay committed to you.” He says firmly, looking into your eyes. You know John B thinks JJ is going to cheat on you, but you don’t believe that for a second.

“He will, he cares about me Johnny.” You insist and John B rubs a hand down his face. John B knows that deep down JJ does care about you, and that he has every intention of being loyal to you. But at the end of the day he knows JJ, and he knows eventually JJ is bound to fuck up and make a really big mistake. One you won’t be able to forgive, and then what happens to the pogues when that happens? This is why there’s no pogue on pogue macking.

“Let me talk to JJ.” John B says, and you share a nervous look with Pope.

“Only if Pope is there to make sure you don’t punch him.” You say, crossing your arms firmly. After a moment of thinking, John B nods.

“Alright fine.” You watch the two of them stand and make their way into the Chateau, and you can only hope you don’t hear yelling soon.

“Hey John B.” JJ says nervously, throwing on a smile at the end once he sees John B come in through the front door. John B says nothing as he sits at the kitchen table, and he gestures to the chair next to him. JJ hesitantly lowers himself into the chair, watching with nervous eyes as Pope hovers behind John B. Just in case he lunges at JJ.

“My sister JJ?” John B groans after a few minutes of tense silence. JJ licks his lips nervously, keeping his eyes off John B.

“I swear it happened out of nowhere!” JJ says instantly, bracing for the moment that John B decides to take a swing at him.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt her.” JJ says after John B doesn’t say anything, and John B lifts his eyes to meet JJ’s.

“She really cares about you JJ. I’m not kidding, she’s really serious about you.” John B says, looking directly into JJ’s eyes. JJ can’t fight the small smile as it stretches across his face, you’re serious about him?

“She is?” He asks, and it’s just now that John B sees the genuine joy on JJ’s face.

“Yeah man, I could see it when she told me. She will be devastated if you screw this up, you’ll mess her up JJ.” John B snaps, wanting more than anything to protect you from getting hurt. That’s why he told you not to ever date JJ, and yet here we are.

“I’m not going to screw this up John B, I would never hurt her. I’m just as serious about her as she is about me.” JJ snaps, feeling frustrating bubbling in his chest.

“Good.” John B says, standing from the table. The tense look has left his face, but he still doesn’t look very happy.

“Oh and JJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell me if you sleep with Y/N, I don’t want to know.” He says, wincing uncomfortably. JJ gives him a thumbs up, not looking back as John B exits the Chateau.

//

Soon enough the next pogue party was in full swing at the boneyard, and this time you were most definitely in the partying mood. You tilted your beer bottle back, watching your boyfriend play hacky sack with Pope. It was nice to finally be public about your relationship with JJ, you don’t have to suffer through watching JJ flirt with other girls anymore. For the first few days after you told him, John B all but ignored JJ. He was slowly starting to come around, you knew he couldn’t be mad forever. The bonfire was tall, and from across the fire you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you. Rife paid a lot of unwanted attention to you, although you’re pretty sure it’s only because he wants to annoy John B. Like he wants to give John B the ultimate ‘screw you’, by sleeping with you. You can only hope he doesn’t say or do anything tonight because if he does, JJ is going to go ballistic.

“Nice swimsuit.” Almost as if on cue, you hear Rafe’s voice to your right and you sigh.

“Thanks.” You say dismissively, trying your best to get him to leave before John B or JJ notice. Rafe sits down next to you, too close for comfort. You hold your breath as you subtly tuck your legs a little closer to your body. Rafe either doesn’t care that you’re inching away from him or he hasn’t noticed.

“Need another drink?” Your beer is just about empty, and you could use another drunk. But you wouldn’t trust anything Rafe gets for you, you’d never drink it.

“No that’s okay, I’ll just have JJ get me one later.” You say with a smile, noticing the tense smile cross onto Rafe’s face.

“I can get you one now, no big deal.” Rafe stands up and takes a step towards the coolers when you speak up again.

“N-no Rafe it’s fine really. I don’t want to drink right now anyway.” You insist with a smile and Rafe shrugs, but he sits back down next to you. This time closer than he was before.

“Seen you hanging around JJ a lot lately, there a thing between you two?” Rafe asks, his tone tense and his posture almost threatening. Your eyes land on JJ again, who is further from the fire than last time you looked. He’s laughing with Pope and Kiara about something, thank God he hasn’t noticed Rafe yet.

“Yeah actually JJ is my boyfriend.” You say with a tight lipped smile. Rafe nods slowly, a far more irritated look on his face.

“Boyfriend. So you’ll date that pogue trash but won’t give me one chance?” Rafe’s tone is suddenly hostile, as is his body language. You swallow thickly, feeling very defensive of JJ.

“JJ isn’t trash, and I never gave you a chance Rafe because you’re an asshole.” You snap, moving to stand when you feel his hand curl around your upper arm tightly. You try to remain calm, but the urge to panic is growing stronger as Rafe keeps his hand curled around your arm.

“What is it about him Y/N? How on Earth is a piece of shit like JJ Maybank better than me? Does he fuck you good? Is that it?” Rafe hisses in your ear, his voice even which makes him sound more threatening.

“Rafe please let go.” You squeak, feeling him yank your back more flush to his chest.

“I’ll bet he fucks you nice and deep huh? Is that what you like most about him?” Rafe breathes against your neck as his head moves closer to you. Feeling like you’re going to have a panic attack, you try to pull away from Rafe again. When he doesn’t let you go you know what you have to do, even though it’s going to cause a scene.

“JJ!” You feel tears pushing at the backs of your eyes, Rafe’s grip only releasing lightly. From his spot a little ways from where you are, JJ hears your voice. When his gaze finds you, his fists curl and all he sees is red. In a few long strides, JJ is standing behind you two swinging his fist into Rafe’s right cheek. Rafe stumbles away from you, releasing his grip on your arm. You stand and immediately scramble behind JJ.

“Get your fucking hands off my girl Rafe.” JJ snaps, his eyes narrowed and his body language tense. One wrong move from Rafe will result in a violent outburst from JJ. Rafe wipes away the blood from his lip, smiling smugly at JJ. Rafe wanted to piss him off, and it worked.

“I dunno she seemed to be enjoying it.” Rafe shrugged and your eyes widened.

“Yeah? Then why did she call for me if she was enjoying your company so much?” JJ spat back, pacing around Rafe like a caged animal.

“Lets just say you might be used to her calling out your name in pleasure but don’t worry, that’ll change. Soon, she’ll be moaning my name.” Rafe smirks, and JJ lurches forward. In an instant your arms are curled around JJ’s chest, pulling against him as hard as you can. Unfortunately JJ towers over you, so it’s like trying to move a brick wall.

“Baby just forget it, he’s only trying to piss you off.” You say softly, still trying to pull JJ away from Rafe even though you’re not strong enough to move him. JJ’s eyes are locked onto Rafe, almost like a predator looking at its prey. His jaw is clenched, and so are his fists. Curled and ready to throw punches.

“Yeah JJ just forget it, I’ll make sure to fuck her so good she forgets all about you. I’ll fuck her so good the only thing she remembers is how my dick feels inside her.” Rafe says, clearly trying to egg JJ on. This time JJ is pushing out of your arms to punch Rafe again.

“Stop!” You yell as Rafe lands a hit on JJ’s left cheek. Suddenly John B is pushing through the crowd to yank JJ away from Rafe, positioning himself between the two. Topper comes behind Rafe to start pulling him away from the fight, while John B does the same with JJ.

“Go back to the Chateau, now.” John B snaps at JJ, who chucks his beer can at a fallen tree in anger. The beer can explodes open and sprays a few people before JJ is storming for the house, with you close behind.

“JJ?” You start cautiously, he’s a few steps ahead of you. JJ doesn’t respond, and from his quick pace and the way he keeps curling and uncurling his fists lets you know just how pissed off JJ is. He remains silent the entire way to the Chateau, and he slams the door open when he goes inside.

“JJ.” You say again as you follow him to your bedroom, and once inside he begins to pace back and forth. You can feel the anger practically radiating off of him.

“Let me see your arm.” JJ demands, and you quickly give him the arm Rafe was holding. There’s a slight bruise on your upper arm, and while it doesn’t hurt you can hear JJ growl under his breath.

“He fucking bruised you?” He seethes, his eyes flickering towards the door.

“Let it go, just forget it baby. Please.” You plead, placing your hands on his chest to stop him from moving. Even though you couldn’t actually stop him if he wanted to go somewhere, he was way stronger than you.

“How am I supposed to just forget it Y/N? Did you even hear what he was saying about you? I’m going to fucking kill him.” JJ nearly yells and you reach up to cup his cheeks in your hands.

“Because Rafe can say whatever he wants. The only name I will ever be moaning is yours JJ. The only person who has ever seen me naked is you, and nobody else will ever see me like that. You’re the only person who will get to have sex with me, Rafe can do nothing but dream.” You say softly, watching the anger begin to simmer out of his eyes.

“JJ you’re my first everything. First real relationship, first person to see me naked, my first love, and the man I’m going to give my virginity to. Rafe will never have any of those things, no matter how hard he tries.” You say, watching as an unreadable look crosses onto JJ’s face.

“You love me?” His eyebrows are furrowed, and the tension has left his shoulders by now. You swallow thickly before smiling up at him softly.

“Yeah, I love you JJ.” You whisper, hoping to God that he says it back. JJ looks stunned for a few seconds before a wide boyish grin splits across his face.

“I love you baby, so fucking much.” JJ breathes before his arms wind around your waist and he presses his lips to yours. The kiss is slow and passionate, his tongue immediately pressing past your parted lips. You mewl against his lips as his hand slides down your back to cup your ass. Your hands grab at his shoulders as JJ lifts you from the ground so that your legs can wind around his waist. He nips at your lower lip as he gently presses your back against your bedroom door. Your lips move languidly against him and when you feel heat simmering in your lower belly, you grind your hips against his.

“JJ,” you gasp as you pull back from him. JJ’s lips immediately latch onto your neck, sucking at the pulse point lightly drawing a moan from you. “I wanna do it now, I’m ready.” You gasp but your statement causes him to pause.

“You sure baby? We can wait-” He starts but you cut him off with a kiss.

“I love you JJ Maybank, and I don’t want to wait anymore. I wanna do it right now, please?” You lean closer to his ear, biting gently at his earlobe before you whisper one more thing.

“Make me yours.” JJ groans lowly before he presses his lips to yours again. JJ’s hands don’t know where to touch first, there’s so much uncharted skin for him to feel. He starts by pulling your bikini top off, revealing your bare breasts to him. He leans his head down to take a nipple in his mouth, and you whine softly. JJ lifts you more firmly again before walking you to the bed and laying you back on it. His mouth returns to your nipple, his other hand coming up to cup your other breast. He laves your nipple with his tongue before kissing across the expanse of your chest to give your other nipple the same attention. With his free hand, JJ snakes his arm down your body to pull your bikini bottoms off. He slides his hand down a little further and runs two of his fingers through your folds.

“Already so wet baby.” JJ groans against your skin, his mouth trailing kisses down your body as he moves down. He presses light kisses to your hip bones, causing your body to jolt and you to whine as you try to shift your hips towards his face. JJ smiles as he places light kisses along your upper thighs, drawing soft moans from your lips.

“Every sound you make is music to my ears.” JJ says, his voice even and collected. JJ was willing to wait as long as it took for you to feel comfortable, but he’d be lying if he said part of him wasn’t dying for this. You spread your thighs apart wider for him as he kisses all the way up to where you need him most. You wiggle your hips impatiently when he presses kisses around your clit, but never quite lands there.

“JJ please,” You beg, your firsts curling around the sheets as he smirks at you from between your legs. JJ hooks his arms around your thighs before yanking your body down, causing his mouth to collide with your pussy. His lips curl around your clit and you cry out, your back arching as your fingers wind into his hair. You’re whining loudly as his tongue laps at your clit, and licks long lines up your entrance.

“Oh my God that feels so good J,” you moan, nearly in tears from the amount of pleasure you feel already. JJ feels wave after wave heading straight for his cock, every time you moan or beg for him, it just takes him a little higher. He loves hearing how badly you need him. Gently JJ reaches a hand up, prodding a finger at your entrance. You whine nervously, fear shining in your eyes.

“Trust me baby, might pinch a little but I promise it’s gonna feel really good.” JJ says, waiting for your approval before he continues. You bite your lip and nod slowly, leaning your head back to relax your entire body. Carefully, JJ begins to push his pointer finger into your tight opening. It burns a little bit, and you squeeze your eyes shut when he gets to the knuckle and swiftly pushes past it. You cry out in pain a little, but JJ is right there to press loving kisses to your thighs and whisper reassuring words into your skin. You feel JJ slowly pull his finger out, and when he slides it back in you moan softly in pleasure. Your face slowly relaxes as your mouth falls into an ‘o’ shape, another moan pushing past your lips. JJ continues to slowly pump his finger into you, wrapping his lips around your clit once more.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful baby.” JJ whispers, his eyes shamelessly trailing up and down your body. JJ curls his finger inside you a little, watching as your back arches ever so slightly, and a soft moan tumbles past your lips.

“Gonna add another finger baby, just one more to stretch you a little for my cock.” JJ says softly, and sure enough he’s gently working another finger into you. You stretch a little more, the feeling causing a hiss of pain to emit from you. JJ presses soft kisses to your stomach as he pumps two fingers into you, and your fingers grasp at the sheets tightly.

“Oh God, I think I’m close J!” You cry out, your eyes squeezed shut and your head thrown back. JJ continues to pump his fingers into you at a steady pace, breathing softly against your skin and his eyes never leave yours. You moan a little louder when JJ’s mouth curls around your clit again and with one flick from his tongue, you’re cumming all over his face with a soft cry from your lips. JJ pulls back with the biggest, dumbest smile on his face before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Shit, you’re so fucking sexy.” JJ groans, leaning over you to press his lips against yours. You moan a little when you taste yourself on his lips before you’re tugging at his clothes. JJ leans back on his heels to yank his shirt over his head, followed by his swim trunks. Your mouth finds his again as your arms wind around his shoulders.

“D-do you have a condom?” You whisper and JJ offers a wink before he’s reaching over the edge of the bed for his shorts. He digs through the pockets before pulling out a condom in silver foil packaging. You feel your nerves building again, and you shy away from him. You turn your head to avoid looking at him, but he hooks a finger under your chin to turn your head.

“You’re fucking beautiful. You sure you’re ready for this?” He asks, concern in his eyes as he tries to study your face for any signs of you changing your mind.

“I’m ready JJ.” You whisper and he presses a kiss to your forehead before ripping open the condom wrapper. He reaches down to roll the condom down his pulsing shaft and you spread your legs under him, trying to get comfortable. You feel the head parting your lips and you squeeze your eyes shut when he stops.

“Try to relax okay? It’s gonna hurt so just tell me to stop if it’s too much.” JJ says, and you can hear the concern in his voice. You nod as you wrap your arms around his torso, releasing a deep breath to let your muscles relax fully. Gently, JJ begins to push into you and the burn is immediately intense. You whimper in pain, burying your face into his neck as he slowly works his cock into your tight heat. JJ is using every ounce of self control he has to not pound into you, the tightness of your cunt is suffocating.

“Holy shit, you’re fucking tight. Christ.” JJ groans, his forehead pressing against yours as he continues to slide inch by inch into you. Eventually JJ hits your hymen, but he doesn't move.

“Once I break your hymen, you’re not a virgin anymore and I will be the guy that popped your cherry. You okay with that?” JJ asks, and you marvel how coherently he’s speaking, you can barely think straight with his cock half inside you. You nod but JJ doesn’t move.

“Words please.” JJ won’t continue without verbal consent.

“Yes JJ, you’re the only person I ever want to have sex with. Please take my virginity J.” You gasp, hoping that the intense burning subsides soon. JJ winds his arms around your back tightly while pressing kisses against your neck, and with one sharp thrust he’s breaking your hymen and sliding the rest of the way into you. You gasp, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you press your face into JJ’s neck.

“You okay baby?” He gasps, the feeling of your pussy squeezing him is making him feel lightheaded. Being seated fully inside of you is almost too overwhelming, you’re so tight.

“J-Just give me a minute.” You gasp through tears, the pain is unbearable. But you grit your teeth and wait, and JJ doesn’t complain at all. He sits fully inside of you, using his arms to hold himself up, pressing gentle kisses into your neck until you’re ready.

“You’re so big JJ, fuck.” You gasp, feeling tingles shoot through you when he adjusted and slid out of you a few inches. You moan, and JJ groans softly at the sound.

“Please move JJ, slowly.” You say softly, and slowly JJ pulls his hips back before sliding all the way back in. You moan again, and JJ swears under his breath. JJ continues to thrust sweetly into you, being sure not to go too fast so that he doesn’t hurt you. Your eyes are squeezed shut as he moves inside you, and the feeling is downright heavenly, even with the little twinges of pain. You gasp and moan softly against him, loving the feeling of his breath against your neck. JJ’s eyes are squeezed shut as he feels you hugging his cock just right.

“Jesus baby, you feel so fucking good.” JJ praises and you moan softly, turning your head to press your lips against his. Your lips move against JJ’s, your nails leaving angry red claw marks down his back. You feel that coil winding tighter and tighter in your abdomen, and all you can do is cling desperately to JJ.

“I love you JJ.” You cry out, your body arching into his when his thumb rolls your clit. JJ speeds up a little bit, his tip ramming into your g-spot. JJ bent down to press a sweet kiss to your lips before he leans up over you, his hands on your hips.

“I love you baby,” JJ groans, his head tossing back as you clamp down around him. Before you even have time to warn him, you’re gushing around his cock, your body spasming as you cum. JJ pumps into you a few more times before you clench around him again and he cums, catching himself with one hand so he doesn’t fall on top of you when he cums into the condom. You’re panting as JJ gently pulls out of you, seeing you wince in pain. He throws the condom into the trash can before sliding into bed next to you. JJ opens his arms and pulls you against his chest, pressing a kiss against your head.

“So uh, how’d I do? I’ve never taken someone’s virginity before. Was it okay?” JJ asks, and you can hear the anxiety in his voice. You turn in his arms to press your lips against his.

“It was amazing, you were amazing baby.” You reassure, nuzzling his nose with yours before you’re eventually pulled to sleep.

//

The next morning, JJ decides to let you sleep in. You’re probably going to be sore anyway, and when he heads out to help John B with the boat, he ignores the look he gets from Kiara. The ‘you look like you had sex with John B’s sister last night’ look. JJ approaches the boat, and takes a wrench before moving to look at the engine. As the day goes on, the sun rises higher and higher and like JJ always does- he takes his shirt off when the heat becomes too much.

“JJ?” John B’s voice is tense, and JJ’s shoulder’s go rigid as he turns.

“What’s up John B?”

“What the hell happened to your back?” John B asks, although he unfortunately already knows the answer. JJ, who completely forgot about how you desperately clawed at his back last night, peeks over his shoulder and sees the nail marks all down his back.

“Well, uh-”

“I’m going to fucking kill you JJ!”

“I’m sorry! You said not to tell you and technically I didn't!”

[ladydimitrescuspet]

Tonight's Theme: Being Selfish

AO3 Link! argument fic but it's not my brand so it's a bad argument fic so I am not the least bit happy with how this turned out. and I cannot tell if I've contradicted myself in this story with what I said so I apologise profusely if I did. I also apologise for any grammatical errors. regardless, please enjoy and tell me what you think if you'd like!

***

The minute you stepped into Alcina’s study, the atmosphere changed. She knew why you were there and let out sharp exhale before lighting a cigarette.

Alcina took a drag, blowing the smoke out before she looked at you. “My answer still hasn’t changed, draga mea.”

You frowned as you walked over to her. “Why not?” You asked.

“Because it is far too dangerous for you to do.” Alcina replied.

You huffed, crossing your arms. “Why do you even get to make the decision? It’s my body, it should be my choice.” You argued.

“Darling, if I let you make any and every decision you wanted to then you wouldn’t be standing here right now.” Alcina said. She had a point. You’d made a pretty reckless decision a few months ago and it’s made her even more protective of you.

“Look, it’s sweet that you’re trying to protect me, Alci, but I really am capable of making my own decisions, reckless or not.” You replied.

Alcina sighed. “Little one, I really don’t have the time to go over this right now. I am swamped with business.” Alcina said as she replaced her quellazaire with her pen.

“That’s always your excuse, that you’re too busy for me.” You were tired of her constantly brushing you off.

“I am never too busy for you. I simply don’t wish to have this argument with you, Y/N.” Alcina responded, rubbing at her temples. “The risks of taking the cadou are high, as I’ve told you. We’ve no idea what it can and will do to you and I’d rather not take the chance to find out.”

“But Mother Mirana clearly stated that it’s the only way she’ll bless our relationship and let us marry.” You replied.

Alcina laughed dryly. “Is that what this is about? You want to seek Miranda’s approval of our relationship?” Alcina asked. “You silly little mouse, Miranda doesn’t care about our relationship. She doesn’t care about you, nor me, nor my daughters, or any of the other Lords. No, Miranda only cares about obtaining a proper vessel for her darling daughter, Eva. I stopped seeking her approval on matters a long time ago so I suggest you quit while you’re ahead.”

Your frown deepened at her words. “That’s not what I meant, Al.”

“Then what did you mean, dear one? Hmm?” Alcina asked. “Is that not what you were implying? That you wish to get that thing put into your body so you can marry me? Do you not care about your own well being, that you’d just do without thinking?” Alcina abandoned her pen once again, but this time to pick up her glass of wine. "If you did, you wouldn’t keep hounding me about it. PPlus, your intent for the cadou is purely selfish, and that’s not a good look for anybody.”

You snatched the glass out of her hand before she could take a sip, the look of shock on her face making you regret the decision a bit. After all, the wine did help her calm down so you sat it down on the desk. “I don’t understand.” You said softly. “It may be a selfish reason, but you said I was your one true, the love of your life. And I can’t be that without the cadou, without the ability to be immortal like you and the girls. You say you love me, but you won’t let me do the one thing that’ll keep us together forever. And I don’t understand.” Your voice cracked as your eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, yes, please cry me a river. I know it’s a harsh reality, but I am doing this for your own safety, Y/N.” Alcina replied. “And frankly, I don’t care how my decision makes you feel, the answer is no and that is final. Am I understood?” Alcina asked.

You nodded your head and sniffled. “But I love you and if you loved and cared about me like you always say then you’d let me take it.”

“You say you understand my words, yet you still stand here defying my answer, trying to guilt trip me into changing it.” Alcina stood from her desk and headed towards the door. “Listen to me carefully, you ungrateful little mouse. You can go to Miranda and ask for that damned parasite of hers, but if anything goes wrong, do not come crawling back to me. You can beg, you can cry, you can scream into you’re blue in your little face, you will be dead to me and my daughters, and you will not be welcomed into my home. The decision is yours to make as you wished for it to be and what you do now regarding the cadou is none of my concern.” Alcina said rather calmly albeit the scowl on her face before leaving you alone in her study.

You broke down as soon as she left. Alcina had very good reasons as to why she didn’t want you to take the cadou, why she was being so hostile. But still, her words hurt you. It made her love for you seem inferior, but you refused to believe that that was the case. Alcina said she was doing this for your own safety and you were just going to have to trust her on this.

As you gathered yourself together, you left Alcina’s study. She’d given you an ultimatum, the decision should’ve been easy. You’d simply just have to forget about the cadou and live your life with Alcina until your dying day. Then she’d find someone else to replace you in heart, you grimaced at the thought, blocking it from your mind as you wiped at your eyes.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” A voice asked you. Daniela’s, you assumed.

You shook your head. “I’m fine.” You replied, your voice sounding a little scratchy.

“You don’t sound fine. And Mother looked awfully upset a few moments ago.” Daniela said.

You sighed. “We had a disagreement about something, no big deal.” You shrugged your shoulders as you continued walking down the hall.

“About the cadou, right?” You stopped and turned to look at her. “Mother may have been muttering about it to herself when I saw her.” She admitted. “Bela and Cassandra went to go and try to comfort her so I thought I’d wait for you.”

You gave her a small smile. “That’s sweet of you, thank you. And yes, it was about the cadou.” You replied. “It was a stupid thing to bring up again. I just, I fear for the day that I can no longer be with any of you, that’s all.3”

“Mother fears for it too, if it’s any consolation.” Daniela said. “She cares for you, Y/N, she really does. It’s been so long since Mother’s had someone around that she truly loves and she doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I understand that, Dani, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I took the cadou.” You replied.

“But if Mother lost you, it’d be the end of hers.” Daniela said. “I think Mother is saying no because she doesn’t want to risk losing it before she has to. She’d rather you spent your days with her until you’re old than to lose you before your lives together really started. Mother’s not the one to really wear her heart on her sleeve, but she intends to do well by you, Y/N. Even if it seems a bit selfish.”

You nodded your head. “Being selfish seems to be the theme for tonight.” You murmured to yourself. “Listen, Dani, it’s not that I don’t want to just spend my days with her until I grow old. I want to be with her forever, and I can’t risk losing her just like she can’t risk losing me. Will you take me to her?” You asked.

Daniela nodded her head, leading you to where her Mother was. “Just promise you won’t leave us, no matter what. You’re one of the nicest people here and I’ve grown rather fond of you.”

“I can’t make any promises, Dani, but I’ll try.” You replied. You let out a small exhale before knocking on the door.

Bela opened the door, a little surprised to see you. “Now’s not the best time, Y/N.”

“Please, I just... I need to talk to her for a moment.” You replied.

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough talking with Mother for one evening?” Cassandra sneered at you.

Daniela pushed Cassandra out of the way. “Leave it alone, Cass. It’s not really any of your business what goes on between Mother and Y/N in private. Let them talk to her. Now.” Daniela said as she grabbed your hand, guiding you into the room. “Mother, Y/N has something they’d like to talk to you about.”

Alcina hummed before waving her hand in the air signalling for her daughters to leave the both of you. Daniela gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, Bela gave you a sympathetic smile, and Cassandra growled at you. You’re pretty sure Cassandra threatened you under her breath, but you could catch the small snarl she let out when Daniela hit her shoulder.

Alcina waited until the door was closed before addressing. “Come to provoke me even further, Y/N?” Alcina asked.

You’d taken a moment to notice the broken vanity in the corner of the room. Shaking your head, you walked to stand in front of her. “No. I came to... I came to apologise, Alci.” You replied.

Alcina raised her eyebrow, placing her wine glass on the table next to her. “Apologise for what, Y/N?”

“For being selfish.” You said softly. “Not that you aren’t being entirely selfish yourself, but I wanted to apologise for how I reacted. I did mean what I said, I want to be with you until the end of time, Alcina. It hurts me to think that one day I won’t have all of this, that I won’t have you just because I’m not immortal like you and I could die at the drop of a hat.”

Alcina raised her hand to your cheek, cupping it. “You will never have to worry about dying at the drop of a hat nor will you ever not have me. I am yours, as you are mine, draga mea.” Alcina replied. “You must understand that I simply won’t permit you to have the cadou at this time. It’s not safe after what happened with that wretched man-thing, iubirea mea. That’s why I said no.”

You looked at her in confusion. “It’s not safe?” You asked.

“No, my love. After what happened, Miranda’s had a bit of a set back with the parasite and it’s not... she can’t control it like she used to be able to. Her experiments have been complete failures, though she is finding success with it every once in a while. Once it is more stable then we will revisit the topic, but as of right now, I can’t let you take it.”

You hand came to rest on the one Alcina had over your cheek, squeezing it lightly. “I understand, Alci.” You said softly. “Thank you for talking to me. I know you tried to get me to understand back in the study, but I was so clouded by sheer will to spend eternity with you that I just didn’t properly understand what you were trying to tell me.”

“I’m glad you understand now, dear. I should’ve told you sooner about the instability of the parasite at the moment, I’m sorry.” Alcina apologised. “It was, like you said, a bit selfish on my behalf to keep such a thing away from you.”

You shook your head. “No need to apologise, Al, it’s fine. Besides, if you weren’t selfish, you would’ve given me to the girls to be a midnight snack a long time ago.” You said before pressing a kiss to the palm of her hand. “Are we okay?”

“Yes, draga mea, we’re fine.” Alcina replied before glancing at the time. “It is getting close to the midnight hour; may I indulge in the idea of you being a midnight snack?” Alcina asked with a smirk on her face.

You laughed as she pulled you onto her lap. “You’re incorrigible, Al.” You rolled your eyes before pulling her mouth down to yours.

Selfish or not, it was your personal goal to spend the rest of your life with Alcina, and you'd wait for however long it takes for Miranda to get the parasite under her control again, but for right now you'd be content with being a midnight snack for her until the time came for you to cross that bridge.

[enhyupn]

always you!

pairing: park sunghoon x gn!reader (ft jay too)

disclaimer: reader is incredibly insecure... i didn’t realise how insecure they were until i finished writing this pls

word count: 2.9k+

genre: angst and a dash of fluff... the fluff was a little treat, childhood friends to lovers!au based on heroine disqualified

a/n this was a wild ride to write omg i don’t usually write angst so i can’t tell if i displayed their emotions as well as i wanted but oh well it was fun to write 💭

was it worth it? was it a matter of luck or chance? was this worth risking everything? you believed park sunghoon was everything, he built you into the person you were today. his confidence, the way he would always take care of you, you weren’t ready to let go of any of that plus a stupid confession? you weren’t letting that be the cause sunghoon drifts away.

the way he ties your laces, the way he ruffles your hair when you feel down — how could you not fall in love with him? everyone around you believes that too.

maybe the happy smile on his face should of made you smile too. happy tears streaming down his face with a smile so big, you desperately wished that you were the one that made him smile like that. in the corner of your eye stood kim minju, holding a bouquet of flowers, the purple lilacs you helped him pick. the beginning of love, that’s what the flowers mean, sunghoon wanted the flowers to mean something.

“congratulations sunghoon” you staged a fake smile on your face. sunghoon caught off guard by your sudden voice flinched before turning to you with a bright smile on his face. “the first out of us two to start dating”.

“i beat you to it” he smirked, “can you believe she said yes”. you chuckled lightly at his enthusiasm, knowing if you said another word you might just tear up.

“i have to get to class” you spoke as quietly as you could, your head slightly tilting down so he couldn’t get the look of pure misery on your face. “see you?”.

“see you y/n” the corner of his eyes crinkled. you watched as he turned around before making his way to his new girlfriend. anybody could see they were a match made for each other, top students in both of their classes as well as part time models? why would sunghoon look your way when someone like kim minju is right in front of him.

even as months went on, you never really... recovered from the whole minju and sunghoon thing. frankly, with them basically being everywhere you go, you couldn’t even get a chance to get over sunghoon. little things started changing too. every time you asked to walk home he’d tell you he’s walking home with minju, meaning you had to watch them from the other side of the street while they giggle and hold hands every evening five times a week. he won’t even help you with your homework anymore, he won’t even come over when you spontaneously cook a meal that feeds two people. he’s accidentally missed so many calls from you and has left you on delivered so many times you can’t even count the amount on your fingers.

the realisation hit you fast, you depended on sunghoon for so long that he was the only thing that mattered to you. guilt ate you up for being upset with sunghoon, knowing that it was selfish to ask for all his time when he had his girlfriend right by his side. maybe, just maybe, this was the time to get someone by your side that wasn’t park sunghoon.

as time went on you realised, it wasn’t as easy as you thought. the image of sunghoon left your standards high and the selection right in front of you never met those standards. well, until you met park jongseong or jay. he was friendly, funny and never cared when you were upset over something silly like seeing sunghoon with minju at the café you told him about. jay filled in the space sunghoon once filled in, but something felt off. you never wanted to admit that jay was a sunghoon replacement, jay was jay and sunghoon was sunghoon. although, when you look at sunghoon, all you think about is sunghoon but when you look at jay, guilt eats you alive because all you can see is sunghoon.

“y/n i like you” the light breeze, green reappearing on the bare trees, everything looked perfect so why didn’t you think it was perfect? jay looked into your eyes desperately, trying so hard to look for an answer that you yourself didn’t even know. “i know, i know you still think about that sunghoon guy, but i— i don’t care y/n”.

“jay...” you looked everywhere but his eyes, you felt so many emotions that you couldn’t pinpoint a single one. you knew that it was selfish of you to even consider his feelings, you couldn’t give him an answer when he was standing right there. you so desperately wished to get away, not so sure if the mention of his name was the thing that set off all the emotions in your heart. “i— i should go...”.

“please” jay gripped onto your wrist lightly, the desperation in his voice and face confused you so much that you couldn’t even think straight. why you? jay was always there for you and he deserved someone better than you, someone that would be able to properly reciprocate those feelings same he had for you. 

“i’ll talk to you later jay... i’m sorry” the grip on your wrist loosened before completely coming off. the scene looked almost painful. there stood jay, his face completely blank and there you were, tears running down your face as you tried to grab a hold of your emotions. each step you made brought another tear down, you don’t know why you were so upset. was it guilt? the feeling was so overbearing that you couldn’t even answer jay.

you don’t know where your feet took you, but all you knew is how you had no idea why you were faced with sunghoon’s home. the black doorframe almost begging you to come closer, is this right? the doorbell almost sent you into tears again, the nostalgic sound adding to your emotional state. the silence following the sound maybe even snapped you back into reality, what are you doing here?

“y/n?” the voice was clearly not sunghoon, a smooth feminine voice only belonging to kim minju greeted you. just to make the night better his girlfriend opened the door and saw your puffy eyes and red nose.

“minju” you quickly wiped tears away from your cheeks, nothing could help however as new tears quickly formed before dropping down your face “i don’t know why i’m here i should—”.

“y/n?” a familiar voice sent chills down the back of your neck. he quickly made his way to you, a concerned expression that made you want to cry harder. “what happened? are you okay?”. you wished you could ignore the concern in his face, you didn’t want him to care.

“i’m fine, tell your mom i said hi and i’ll get going” the shakiness through your words failing to hide the immense despair you had in your voice.

“no you’re not!” sunghoon raised his voice, a habit he had when he was annoyed. “you’re shaking y/n... what happened?”. the boy didn’t know how his hands found his way to your shoulders, gripping them lightly to reassure you that he was there.

“sunghoon stop, i’m fine” you shook off his grip before stepping back to give yourself some space. “i’ll be going now”. the whole situation being only a mere five minutes long, the fact it felt longer than that made you uneasy.

the silence in the air was deafening, the sound of the crunching grass you were making as you walked home was the only thing breaking it up. sunghoon stood in shock as he watched your shaking body make each step. minju, who was watching the whole scene unfold in silence, didn’t know what to say. she’s never seen sunghoon so concerned, so emotional and so angry. what are you to him?

the following days were peaceful, it was a silent agreement for you and jay to act like none of that happened, the happy faces on both your faces as you eat cake together proved it. it was easy settling back in to your normal, everyday relationship. maybe even too easy. you wished that every day could feel as simple as that day, the normality of everything felt so easy.

“you should tell him” good way to hit the mark jay. suddenly this normality thing was crushing down. maybe it was too good to be true? it was bound to happen anyways.

“excuse me?” you questioned jay. you felt yourself grow hot at his sudden comment.

“tell sunghoon you’re in love with him”. one of jay’s traits you loved most was his straight forwardness, but honestly speaking maybe this was one of the times you didn’t love it.

“it’s like you want me to cry in the middle of this café” you joked as you took another bite of your cake.

“y/n i hate seeing you like this” jay looked into your eyes seriously, “why are you letting this happen right in front of you? why are you letting this eat you up?”. you could see the emotions he was bottling up, you could tell he’s been wanting to say this for a while. it just so happened that he let it all out in a little café while you ate cake.

“jay—”

“i should get going” jay said standing from his seat. you understood his feelings, obviously he was frustrated and annoyed with you. you felt the same about yourself. “i’ll call you later?”.

“where are you going—”

“see you y/n”

everything about this made you feel terrible, you’ve lost sunghoon and now maybe jay? why why why couldn’t you just forget about sunghoon? an amazing perfect guy likes you so much that he’s willing to date you even when you constantly think of someone that isn’t him. what was so special about sunghoon? every time you’re almost begging yourself to let him go, he always seems to show up right before your eyes.

the walk home was awkward, even when it was just you all alone. you couldn’t stop thinking about everything, when did this get so complicated? it all started with a one sided crush on your best friend, maybe that’s all it should of been. everything was falling apart and you so desperately wished someone could fix it all. your head felt so light that you couldn’t even think straight anymore. you sat down on the old, almost falling apart bench in the middle of the park. it faced a small pond, filled with lilly pads and a duck with its ducklings following them closely behind.

“hey y/n” you suddenly faced a hand holding a bottle of water. you looked up, your eyes widening realising it was minju.

“minju?” you moved over to make some room for her to sit in.

“hi” she weakly smiled. you knew in the way she fiddled with her fingers that she had something to tell you. “it’s weird how i just met you here, i wanted to talk to you but i realised i didn’t know anything about you. it’s kinda like we were fated to meet here”.

“yeah...” you looked down at your lap. awkward silence filled the air, both of you not knowing what to say.

“sunghoon and i broke up” minju broke the silence, you abruptly turned your head towards her in surprise. you noticed her nose was red and she was chewing on her bottom lip to stop her sudden tearing up. it didn’t work though, tears were streaming from her face at a fast pace. “we fought that night you visited his house, i realised something i never noticed before”.

“what do you mean—”

“he looks at you differently” minju continued, “he looked at you like you were the whole world. when his world looked like it was about to crumble he stopped everything to make sure it didn’t. after you left, he went back inside to grab his jacket because he knew for sure that if he ran to you he’d catch up”.

the tears in her eyes started to slow down but the shakiness in her voice told you that it was hard for her to tell you this.

“i stopped him, obviously. i was his girlfriend, i didn’t want him to leave me for someone else. but when i did, he was so mad at me” she chuckled sadly. “and i’ve never seen him so mad, it made me jealous. we fought and fought that night, by the end of it i couldn’t take it. i knew if i let this go on any longer it’d just break us. it wouldn’t be fair on both of us”.

“minju... i’m so sorry” you said quietly. tears welled up in your eyes, you felt the pain in her voice and expression.

“he’s in love with you y/n...” she smiled sadly at her words. “i noticed almost immediately when he saw you in tears right outside his door, and i think when i left his house he realised it too. i think he’s scared, i think he thinks he’s lost you. it’s not your fault, or his. maybe it’s mine actually”.

“it’s not your fault minju, don’t think that”.

“no, i should of known” she wiped her tears away. “he was always talking about you, mentioning little things you two did and would always tell me what flavours or things you liked”.

“he did?”

“yup, would never stop talking about you...” minju finished her conversation, her tone of voice still sounding sad. still, she found a way to cheerily smile at you. “you should tell him”.

“i can’t” you frown, “it’s too late”. you play with the bottle of water in your hands. you knew it wasn’t too late, you were just scared and being a coward. you know if you faced sunghoon at that moment, no words would come out. nevertheless, you wanted to see him, you desperately wanted to see him.

“y/n” minju held your hands, “please go to him, for his sake at least”. she looked at you with shiny eyes, hope in her eyes that you would listen to her.

“i’ll go, thank you minju. i’m so sorry for everything that’s happened too” you reassured her. you stood up from the bench, holding out the water bottle to her. the water bottle she gave you was all you could give back to her.

“this for me?” minju laughed weakly.

“yeah” you rubbed the back of your neck, “i felt like you needed it”.

“thanks y/n” she smiled sincerely. you felt yourself feel warm looking at her, forever grateful for her words.

you felt your feet pick up pace, trying to find their way to sunghoon’s house. you felt your heart burn at the sudden amount of exercise you put yourself through. you felt the wind flow through your hair, the pebbles at your feet almost making you trip. you didn’t care though, all you wished was to desperately get to sunghoon as quickly as you possibly could. you were completely wrong at the start, this was worth risking everything for.

“y/n what are you doing here— ” sunghoon stood outside his house as you made a stop from your constant running, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants he stared at you confused yet concerned. here you were, running towards him with hope in your eyes. he felt his heartbeat faster than anything else.

you didn’t know what happened, everything looked blank and all of a sudden you were in his arms. your arms wrapped around waist with your head against his chest, you couldn’t look in his eyes no matter how many times you told yourself.

“i know i’m stupid and incredibly dependent on you, i know i shouldn’t have ran all the way here because whenever i do i always end up passing out”.

“y/n what’s going on” you felt the vibrations of his voice through his chest. the comfort and the feeling of home engulfed you in so many ways.

“i love you” you pushed him back to finally look in his eyes. you watched as he stood shocked, his eyes widened hearing your words. “park sunghoon i’ve been in love with you for as long as i can remember”.

“you’re telling the truth right?” his shocked expression not falling as he spoke. “you’re in love with me?”.

“i am” you grinned, “i know i don’t have any flowers to give you or anything but—’.

your words were put at a stop due to the fact his lips were on yours. your widened eyes fluttered shut as you returned the kiss back. maybe the books were right, everything felt so cliché. the fireworks went off in your head, it just felt so right. nothing at all could stop the butterflies in your stomach and your reddening cheeks and ears.

“i love you” sunghoon whispered as he held onto your cheek. “i only figured it out recently but better late than never right?”.

“right” you let out a chuckle. you missed this feeling so much, the feeling sunghoon gave you. the feeling of home, comfort and everything imaginable. you felt like you could burst from all the emotions you were feeling.

he brought his forehead to yours, smiling at your blushing state. both of you couldn’t contain the giddiness you felt, you felt like the whole world could go into flames at that moment and you could care less.

all you cared about right at that moment was sunghoon.

[yuujism]

Sun and Night. (gojo satoru x reader)

Chapter 1: Hate

chapter 2 →

| PAIRINGS: gojo satoru x reader x getou suguru

| WARNINGS: ⚠️ SPOILERS FOR HIDDEN INVENTORY ARC AND VOL. 0 IN THE MANGA ⚠️ explicit language, nsfw (next chapter will have tags), plot, too much writing, kinda modified so it can fit the story but nothing out of canon, grammar errors

| WORD COUNT: idk lol i’ll count it later

| A/N: so uhhh, i’m back i guess ??? this came to me after re reading the manga and kinda yearned for some angst between gojo and reader because they both loved suguru so much 😽 and i love suguru a lot too and i miss him dearly anyway !! please check the post before this one to know what will go on with my other series !! right now i’m taking my time to write :( anyway hope you enjoy!! i hope it’s not kinda half asses though sorry ):

summary;

You and Satoru were in love.

You were both so deeply in love, just not with each other.

Where you and Satoru found comfort in each other after the accident happened.

Chapter 1: Hate.

You were in love.

To you, Getou Suguru was the bright moon in your dark sky.

Long and silky black hair, sly yet serious dark eyes and the soothing voice of reason, drowned your thoughts almost every day. He was really in every thought and dream you could have and you didn’t mind.

He always looked at you with a sweet smile adorning his features, raising his hand and waving it at you whenever you walked into the room. The sound of your name slipping through his lips made you realise you did like your name, but only when it came from him. The faint touch of his hand on your shoulder that sent shivers down your spine, face heating up reflexively as he leaned down to your ear to say some silly joke about Yaga.

Even to this day, you could still feel the ghost of his breathing in your neck.

Getou Suguru made you feel welcomed, and you loved him for that. You deeply loved him.

You knew you weren’t the only one who had their heart squeeze with adoration whenever Suguru came into view. He was just better at hiding it, an expert in sweeping his emotions under a rug and masking them with a cocky smile. But not for your observant eyes.

Gojo Satoru was also in love.

To Satoru, Getou Suguru was equal to him. The strongest sorcerers. He was also an annoyance.

Contrary ideals and constant bickering never failed to appear when these two were put together. They seemed so different: white and black; water and oil; the sun and the moon. Yet they always found themselves with each other.

Satoru hated the way Suguru could look through him so easily, calling him out on his bullshit whenever he was getting out of hand. Satoru didn’t mind as long as it was him and only him. The way they could almost read each other’s minds as if they were connected, only needing one look from the other to completely understand what were they thinking. The memory of Suguru still made Satoru’s stomach fill with butterflies, recalling the first time he saw his best friend through the eyes of a person in love.

Getou Suguru made Satoru feel everything he didn’t want to feel, and he became his one and only since the beginning.

You were both in love with Getou Suguru, but never admitted it. Not to him, not to each other, not to anybody. Everyone was oblivious to the way you indirectly fought against Satoru over the black haired sorcerer’s attention.

But then, it all came to an abrupt stop and everything shattered into a million pieces. It came as quickly as an unexpected projectile to both of your stomach’s guts.

“Getou Suguru is now to be executed on sight as a curse user.”

And you tried your best to stop the tears from coming and forget. Forget his sweet smile, his soothing voice, his touch and everything he made you feel. And Satoru did too. Because Getou Suguru was now a criminal. A murderer.

You wished it was all just a bad dream, that the charges against Suguru were just a complex plan from another terrorist group. Hope was something that you didn’t believe in and right now it looked like the sweetest of options. Ignorance is bliss after all.

Until Satoru came one day after an apparent encounter with Suguru thanks to Shoko’s aid. It was all true. You still remember the tremble in Satoru’s voice confirming every single event that was described in the announcement. His parents, the village, the hatred against humans. It was all real and, sadly, everything was clear now.

Getou Suguru was no longer the one you both knew and loved.

You also remember the discussion you had with Satoru after everyone left the room, asking him why he didn’t stop him, why he didn’t do anything to bring Suguru back to the school just like everyone expected him to.

“Would you have been able to do it?!” His yelling made you jolt before you looked at him with regret as his cold blue eyes showed his true and raw emotions for once.

And you knew. You knew that question had a deeper meaning than it appeared. And you also knew Satoru was well aware of your own feelings towards Suguru when his eyes looked through all the barriers you built to hide the pain you were in. To hide your love and broken heart. You could almost see his own dispair deep within himself. It was just too much and you couldn’t help but look down at your own feet through your tears.

Turns out you weren’t the only one with observant eyes.

“No.”

After that day, you and Satoru never exchanged words that weren’t about the students or the missions you were given through those months. You also never talked about the not-so-hidden feelings you both had towards the sorcerer that was once your friend and acquaintance.

It didn’t get better either but, somehow, it wasn’t worse than those days.

The memories of his smile still haunted you and your heart still felt as broken as that damned day. But at least you hadn’t heard of him for a long time. None of you had.

Satoru seemed to had forgotten completely. Or that was what he wanted to show. You knew he was as broken—or even more—than you were. How could he deem himself the strongest when he couldn’t save his one true friend and love after all. However, Satoru was sperfect at everything, even hiding the pain.

And everything did look better for you and Satoru in the path of forgetting Suguru. And, just like last time, destiny just couldn’t leave you alone.

Getou Suguru was back.

The way your body petrified under his gaze when he was finally in front of you after a long time was pathetic. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, mouth slightly parted in an attempt to call him out for the first time in what felt forever. Was it fear? Was it shock? You didn’t know.

What you did know is he was the same Suguru but different. His smile wasn’t sweet anymore and his hair was longer. But the way he said your name still made your heart flutter in adoration and yearning for him.

No. No, this can’t be.

No, no, no. Getou Suguru was a criminal. A curse user. You had to stop him. You had to do something, anything!

Move.

Flashes of Suguru’s touch came into your mind as he walked towards you, calmly and confident as you stood there, a trembling hand trying to make its way to fight. Suguru didn’t stop.

Move.

Satoru’s words during your discussion resonated in your mind over and over again. Are you able to stop him? To risk it all and kill him if needed? Your hand stopped.

Move!

But you couldn’t. Not when he placed his hand on your shoulder, thanking you for not putting up a fight. Not when he walked past you, his familiar scent filling your nostrils for a brief second. And certainly not when he spoke from behind you, telling you how much he’d missed you.

You almost felt like laughing. You were truly pathetic.

Pathetic for not forgetting him. For thinking that, maybe after all this time, you would’ve been able to stop Suguru if the chance presented in front of your eyes. Unlike Satoru who couldn’t do it.

Oh, how wrong you were.

You crumbled down to your knees, hands holding your aching head as tears filled your eyes and memories of Suguru came to your mind. You weren’t strong at all. You could hear the rumbling far from your spot now, announcing the start of a fight.

Time passed, slow or fast, you didn’t know. But the tingling sensation of Suguru’s touch on your shoulder lingered until everything was silent once again.

It wasn’t until Satoru was next to you, that you finally got out of your stance of shock, looking up at him and his bandage-covered face. His demeanour was different once again, even if you couldn’t see his eyes, you could sense something was off, something happened just like that day.

Satoru didn’t even make the effort to face you as you stood up, still slightly shaking for the past event. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how to break the news for you because, once again, he couldn’t save Suguru. And this time, forever. His heart felt heavier than ever, his hands clenched into fists as he tried his best not to show how he was also shaking.

God, how Satoru wished that everything was different.

When you finally came to his senses, Satoru finally faced you, a small smile appearing in his face. His mask, you thought. His mask was crumbling in front of your eyes and he still tried to hide it. How cynical. Your eye twitched with annoyance as you saw right through him.

“Let’s go! The higher ups are wa—“

“He’s dead.” You cut him off and Satoru’s smile dropped, staring at you.

It wasn’t a question nor did you hesitate when those words came out of your mouth. You didn’t need him to confirm your statement as he once again faced away and the sound of the wind filled your ears.

Satoru could almost hear the sound of both of your hearts breaking even more, this time, until dust was the only thing remaining.

You didn’t have any more tears to cry as you grew tired of Satoru’s silence, taking it as the answer you weren’t even expecting before walking in front of him towards your next destination, leaving him behind. You disliked him more than ever right now.

Satoru limited himself to stare at your figure getting further away, jaw clenching with anger. Anger directed at you and himself. How could you look right through him? Did you even care about Suguru’s death as much as he cared? Did you even love him as much as he loved him?

That day, Satoru decided he hated you.

[firstofficerwiggles]

*cracks knuckles* alright Wiggles let me describe what’s been on my mind this week

You and Din had an argument, something silly like maybe he snapped at you or said something mean after a close encounter with another hunter that was after you guys, he regretted it as soon as it happened because he would never hurt you intentionally but couldn’t apologize because you just huffed and walked away. You’ve been kind of avoiding him and he’s very stubborn to just walk up to you and say he’s sorry right away, after a couple of days even he can’t take the silence anymore and when he went to where you were with the child outside of the crest he saw you, with a pan on your head as if it were a helmet, walking around imitating him with exaggerated gestures, even attempting to make a voice that resembled his. He gets closer without any of you noticing and hears you saying “oh, I’m so serious, look at me! I’m a serious Mandalorian who doesn’t need anybody caring about his safety! Blah blah blah...”, the kid is having the time of his life laughing at your little theater mocking his dad, he can’t say it properly but he definitely agrees with you, he even gave Din the cold shoulder after he snapped at you.

Now, what would happen then?

Ooh, this one was a challenge for me for a couple reasons. First, I hate confrontation with my partner and second, I can be a hot head who is very bad at holding a grudge so I know I wouldn’t look too good in this scenario. But I also know I would get annoyed at Din for always taking so many risks and putting himself directly in the path of danger, i.e. being an actual human shield or letting a krayt dragon eat him, so this idea is very realistic. A little drabble for you under the cut…

As first when Din watches you mock him for Grogu’s amusement he feels a new surge of anger at being the object of your derision. However, when he hears you say that he doesn’t need anybody caring about his safety, it makes him realize why you became so angry with him in the first place. He also thinks you look pretty cute and silly wearing a pan on your head for a helmet.

“So, is that what I sound like?” Din asks in his modulated monotone.

You whip your head around in surprise dropping the pan from your head, and you can feel your cheeks blazing with the embarrassment of being caught. For a second you forget that you’re still mad at him, and you want to apologize. Yet, then you remember how much of a jerk he was and you tell him coolly,

“Something like that.”

“Hmm,” Din considers you for a moment, and then in a kinder voice he asks, “Is that why you were so angry with me? Because you think I don’t want you to care about my safety?”

“Yes, it’s just so frustrating,” you huff out but with a little less menace than before, “I know you feel like you’re indestructible, but you could get seriously hurt with the risks you take, risks that can often be avoided in favor of another strategy.”

“You know I have a dangerous job, and sometimes there isn’t time to plan for a safer method,” he counters.

“Yes, but I feel like often you forget that you have the child and me depending on you,” you explain, “And more than that, we would both be distraught if anything serious were to happen to you.”

“You’re a strong person, cyar’ika, you don’t really need me,” Din tells you in his self-depreciating way.

“How can you say that, Din? Have you really no idea how much you mean to me?” exasperated, you practically shout at him.

“Do you really care for me that much?” Din asks in a small voice.

“Yes, Din, you mean everything to me,” you tell him, your voice and your expression softer now, “I’m not exaggerating when I say I would be devastated if you were gravely injured or worse. When you got so angry at me before, it was like you were telling me I had no right to care about you the way that I do. And that hurt.”

“Cyare, I’m so sorry, I never meant for you to feel that way, you mean everything to me too,” Din apologizes to you, “I just got angry because I felt like you didn’t trust me to know what I could handle, that you thought I would fail because I wasn’t good enough.”

“Oh Din, no, I never thought that,” you respond, “I know you’re a highly skilled fighter with amazing abilities, but even the best bounty hunter in the parsec has limits and I was just worried that you were being too daring with your own safety.”

“I’m sorry,” Din says again, “I promise I’ll be more aware of my safety for your sake and the kid’s.”

“I’m sorry too,” you tell him, “I don’t like fighting with you.”

“Can I hug you now, please?” Din almost sounds like he’s pleading with you, and well he sort of is. He’s so ready for this fight to be over and he just wants to make up.

“Yes, I need a hug,” you say and he quickly wraps his arms around you tightly. You stay like that for several minutes and Din continues to whisper words of apology and affection to you. After a bit you feel tiny claws on your calf and you look down to see Grogu standing between you with one arm on your leg and the other on Din’s.

“I think someone else wants a make up hug too,” you say and Din bends down to pick up the little guy for his own hug. You watch as Din cuddles Grogu close and you can see a happy smile on the baby’s face. After a bit he reaches up to Din’s helmet and you watch as Din tips his helmet up just enough to place a kiss on the child’s head. It’s so sweet, you can’t help the couple tears that escape down your cheeks.

“Don’t cry, cyare,” Din says to you, “I’m coming to give you a make up kiss too, and maybe more.”

(Had to leave you with a little bit of a suggestive ending because I can't help myself.)

[lovetenya]

𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐜𝐬 (𝟐)

pairing: tenya iida x gn! reader

warnings: a couple of swear words. nobody’s angry or swearing at each other.

word count: 1.5k. i’d count it as a oneshot if it was more organized. :)

author’s note: thank you so much for the love on my work! your reblogs and comments make me so happy!! this one isn’t extremely romantic, but there is some fluffy reassurance. tenya deserves so much more love than he gets.

click on the star to read part one -> ✧

Dating Iida Tenya would ALSO include...

Tenya facetiming you to tell you all about the book he’s reading and to help with homework when you can’t be together 

He’s so passionate about his books! I mean, I hope so, because he has so many of them and I can totally see him thinking reading is a “worthy” hobby because it’s productive and “intellectually challenging”

Tenya: “I can’t believe the main character dies! That very rarely happens in literature! I wonder if the author was trying to say something about...”

If you’re not as much of a reader as he is, please act interested and show him you care what he’s talking about!!! He thrives on genuine interest because he’s familiar with being used for homework answers!! (more on that later)

If you thought his nerd rambles were bad, get ready for literary nerd rambles!!! They’re so much better!! (or worse, if you’re a hater)

He will proofread every single essay you write and read draft after draft and never complain

“Hm... I see where you were trying to go with this point, but your line of reasoning needs work.” 

“Is this claim evidence based? You really shouldn’t make assumptions without studying the bias the researchers may have possessed when gathering the data. It’s really easy to use the same statistics to prove two sides of the same argument and you shouldn’t--”

“Tenya, it’s a worksheet. It’s worth five points.”

“Even so! You should always put forth your best effort!”

He will offer his help, but vehemently insist that he’s not going to just give you the answers. No, you don’t get a break just because you’re his s/o. You’ve still gotta work for your grades.

He’ll make sure you’re the one figuring it out. (He wants you to succeed, duh. What kind of class representative would he be if he enabled academic dishonesty???)(A bad one)

People seem to forget that he tried to kill someone, had a sword driven through his shoulder and never really regained full control over his arm. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Iidas have to rip out their mufflers in order to grow new, stronger ones? That’s so scary? I think we should discuss this more. The man is a badass. He called Midoriya the famous “Mr. House Arrest” and called Bakugo a cretin??? He deserves so much more credit for his sassiness than he gets credit for. Just let him be a bossy legend, alright?

He would snap at you to start focusing when you’re studying together 

Don’t get me wrong, he likes you a whole lot, but he also cannot stand being behind on lessons and is not gonna let someone get between him and his hard earned A+++s

He doesn’t like to be together in the common room because he doesn’t like to be teased about the relationship he’s very proud of but very protective over

You’re both surprised you manage to juggle your hectic lives, but it just makes every moment more special

So you usually end up sneaking into his dorm room while he’s making rounds making sure everyone is safe in their rooms. 

(Okay so, I lied. This is the exception to the rule of ‘you don’t get breaks’. This time, he lets it (you) slide.)

He doesn’t want to be a bad role model for the others and give them any ideas, but he also doesn’t want to be a hypocrite

So if he were to see one of his classmates sneaking into someone’s dorm…. No he didn’t. 

He’s the kind of person that doesn’t care what his classmates do as long as they’re being safe. He’s not interested in the details. 

You often end up cuddled up in his bed under his blankets <3

His laptop sits on his lap and he’d put on a documentary, probably

He would ask you whether you came to talk or to watch the movie if you asked too many questions during it HAHA

“Why are you asking me about this? Haven’t you read chapter 9 in our science textbook? It gives a clear description of--”

“Dude. We’re on chapter four. How and more importantly, WHY are you so far ahead???”

“I was bored and wanted to be productive instead of letting my brain rot from idleness…”

“Oh my god. You’re such a nerd.”

He sticks out his tongue at you and pushes his glasses further up his nose at this blasphemous suggestion.

He’d pick up (or help cook) dinner beforehand so you don’t have to leave the room and risk being discovered!! (Even though literally nobody would snitch, he still doesn’t want to break the rules further than what he’s already guilty of)

I have a feeling he really like classic movies too and when you watch them together he’ll explain how they did all of the stunts or the special effects

He’d know every single word to a movie and would DEFINITELY recite his favorite parts dramatically, while still trying to make as little noise as possible

He’d do god-awful impressions and his silly exaggerated choppy hands to make you laugh

You love that it’s a side of him that nobody else gets to see because he doesn’t have very many opportunities to let loose and be a normal teenage boy

It’s just simple fun and it’s sweet to be there with him and to see him like this, especially when he goes into theatrical mode for his bedroom performances

Again, I’m mentioning the fact that a sword was driven through his shoulder and he allowed the injury to remain untreated because he wanted to have a reminder that he stood for something once. 

He had every opportunity to just have Recovery Girl kiss it better, but he’s too determined to be the best version of himself possible. He won’t forget the battles he fought to bring him to his inevitable victory.

Since his arms never returned to full capacity and he’s still in the beginning stages of recovery, his hand and arm cramp sometimes. He’s not one to complain about his pain, so you might have to pay attention to catch the way he hesitates to grab things sometimes, or how he flinches when he twists his arm the wrong way. 

He would never ask you to give him a massage, but if you did, he would be so grateful for the way your fingers seem to ease the knots of burning muscle. His muscles feel like corded steel underneath your hands, but they’re still extremely sensitive to touch.

He needs those gentle touches to remind him that he isn’t any weaker than anybody else just because he’s in pain. If anything, he’s stronger, because he’s living and succeeding through the pain that nobody else has. He hasn’t succumbed to the pain and he never will.

Everyone gets insecure sometimes, even Tenya Iida.

He needs reassurance sometimes that his classmates respect him and don’t hang out with him as a joke.

He just wants what’s best for them and doesn’t want them to think he’s being a hard ass for no reason or that he bosses them around for the hell of it

One day, you’re studying together and he’s visibly upset. You don’t want to press him though because if he wants to talk about it, he will. He does. 

He starts, “Do you think.. No, nevermind.”

You: “What was that?”

“No. It’s silly, really.”

“Please, Tenya, tell me what’s wrong.”

He sighs, knowing it’s no use holding it in. He hesitates, uncharacteristically nervous. 

He’s usually so sure of himself. This is weird, you think.

He says, “Do you think our classmates like me?”

“Like you? Why wouldn’t they like you?”

“Well, I’m not sure. Do you think they see me as a friend? Or just as their class representative?”

“Of course they see you as a friend, honey. For example.. you and I always hang out with Izuku, Ochaco, and Shoto! We’re all still classmates even if we’re always trying to one-up each other!”

With a raised eyebrow, he asks “You don’t think they just like me because I help them with their homework?”

“No way, Tenya. I’m sure they really like you for you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well, they talk about you when you’re not around--”

He blurts, “Really? What do they say?”

“All good things, nothing to worry about at all.” He lets out a breath at this (phew!) You continue, “They talk about how responsible you are--”

“They do not!” He sends a glare, but there isn’t any malice behind his eyes.

“No really! They do! They all admire you so much and they all wish they were as respected as you are!”

“Respected?”

“Yes, Tenya. They respect you.”

“Then why do they make fun of me so much? Just because I’m responsible doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.”

“I know. They tease you because they’re your friends and it’s funny when you snap back at them. They’re trying to get you to lighten up a little.”

“Oh. They think I’m funny?”

“They sure do.”

“Hm…”

“I promise, honey. Your classmates like you, your friends like you, and everyone likes being around you. You’re more than just “a pleasure to have in class”, you know. And I’m not just saying that because I’m biased.”

“Thank you, my love. That made me feel a lot better.”

“Oh, good. Can I hug you now?”

“Yes, please.”

He pulls you into a hug and you both hum, content in each other’s warm embrace. You can’t help but softly smile.

thank you for reading! love, TJ ✮

link to my masterlist

[otomes-and-tears]

Hi Bee ! With chapter 13 that just came out, we now know that Ellie and Tyler knew about Tegan's crush on Scholar, right ? I was wondering if you could write a scenario where he admit it to them i mean they probably forced him to spill the beans but still

A/N: One of my favourite things about otome is seeing the love interests interact with each other.

I don’t like when a game begins and ends on their relationship with the protagonist.

 I don’t like seeing the love interest’s lives revolving around a single character.

I like seeing how they interact with their friends, with their enemies, how their lives were before they met the MC and how their presence impacts them.

I think these types of scenes are just as important, if not more, than the romance itself.

With all that being said… I love the dynamic between TnT and Ellie and I will protect this little chaotic trio with my LIFE.

Btw, I usually do my requests in order, but I saw this on my asks and it was like I was slapped in the face with creativity. Thank you anon.

Tegan telling Tyler and Ellie about his crush on scholar

  “You seem distracted.” Ellie looks up from the blueprint on her desk to watch Tegan, a playful smirk on her face.

 More than a week has passed since Tadashi’s re-election and things had just started to get back to normal. There was still tension in the school’s halls about the Nakano scandal, but that was par for the course with such big news.

 Ellie had flooded their private group chat a couple of nights ago on an ungodly hour suggesting an elaborate prank on Tadashi. It was more of an excuse to provide some much-needed fun to their group of friends, so Tyler and Tegan jumped at the opportunity as soon as it presented itself.

 As usual, they met at Ellie’s room after classes and spent the last couple of days looking up materials and plans. 

They would use the Arlingtonator created by the Health Sciences Department as an inspiration to create their own version of the local cryptid just in time for Halloween.

Tyler was working on the creature’s final sketch, Ellie was studying one of her old blueprints as reference and Tegan... Well, Tegan was supposed to get a head start on the code. His laptop was open, but he was staring off into the distance.

Ellie’s comment pulled him out of his thoughts.

 “I’m just tired.” 

 He looked back into the screen, willing himself to just focus. 

Ellie’s smile just grew as she watched him squirming under her watchful eyes. Tegan was hiding something, and she had an inkling of what it might be about.

Making him talk would be fun.

 “That never stopped you before.” 

 Tyler stopped furiously sketching the monster to make that observation, eyeing his best friend suspiciously. 

 “Is there something in your mind, Teegs?” Ellie said, in a sing song-y voice. “Or… Someone?”

 The furious blush that emerged on his face was all the proof she needed. Tyler beamed at the confirmation, seemingly happy for his best friend.

 “N-No there isn’t anybody...” Tegan muttered, but one glance at his friends told him that it wasn’t convincing enough. “I—“

 “Don’t worry, bro. We’re not telling.” 

 Tyler’s smile turned gentle. As much as he liked teasing his best friend, Tegan looked a second away from exploding in embarrassment. 

Ellie nodded excitedly, momentarily forgetting their project. 

 “With that being said... It’s Scholar, isn’t it?”

 Tyler said, and Tegan hid his face in his hands with embarrassment. Ellie quickly extended a hand so the artist could high-five her.

 “Was I too obvious?” 

 The redhead asked, frustrated.

 “For us? yes.” 

 Ellie admits, with a smirk.

 “I’m not sure the others noticed yet if that makes you feel better.” Tyler quickly added. “So... Since when?”

 “The department competition, I guess? I’m not really sure...” He trailed off, the tips of his ears getting redder with embarrassment. “I always knew they were pretty, but... Seeing them presenting and being passionate about it...I....I don’t know, I started noticing them more. And now... I like them.”

 He was still refusing to make eye contact, but he stopped hiding his face, which was progress.

 Ellie left her desk to sit next to Tegan on the couch, being careful to let enough space in between them. When he got too deep in his own head it wasn’t uncommon for him to get startled easily. Tegan was more of a danger to himself, but Ellie was accidentally hit once and still wasn’t over it.

 “Hey, dude, we’re happy for you!”

 Tyler assured him.

 “Yeah! I don’t think I have ever seen you acting like this because of someone.” Only when he looks at her does Ellie take a risk and touches his arm. He doesn’t flinch nor flail, which is another good sign. “And Scholar is great! No need to feel embarrassed for liking them.”

 “I’m not embarrassed that I like them.” His voice is vulnerable, and both Tyler and Ellie quiet down to listen to him. Tegan isn’t this open often, and even if he’s talking about something silly as a crush the fact that he chose to share what he is feeling is a big deal. “I’m embarrassed because It’s hopeless. I know there is no way they’ll ever like me back...”

 “Why not?” Tyler seemed legitimately shocked at the idea. “You’re pretty cool, dude. If they don’t see that then they’re not worthy of your time.”

 “And besides... Scholar does seem interested.” 

 Ellie notes and looks at Tyler for confirmation, who agrees.

 “You think so?”

 They didn’t miss how hopeful Tegan sounded.

 “I do.”  

Ellie hugs him and Tyler soon follows. Tegan tenses at first but quickly relaxes, already somewhat used to his friends being affectionate.

“Can we please go back to the Arlingtonator now?”

[isis-astarte-diana]

One Of Those Days

Summary: “I can help you, if you want. Give you something to cry about.” Missy always seems to know exactly what you need.

Warnings: NSFW. Mummy kink. Spanking with a kitchen utensil an implement. Dodgy dynamics. MIHOW.

Word Count: 5499

NB: Hey, so, uh, this is a thing I wrote! You literally asked for this, I wash my hands of it. This is a kink that walks a fine line and I know that, so I’ve done my best to keep it on the side that I think is more-or-less palatable, ie. this is some fluffy smut about a rough day made better by spanking, snuggles, sex and submission. I think a lot of us could go for that every now and again!

"Now, what was that in aid of?”

The sound of Missy’s voice behind you would usually make you jump; she has a tendency to appear out of nowhere, catlike and silent on her feet despite her Edwardian heels. There’s a faint glimmer of amusement to her tone that, on any typical day, would have you prickling with delight.

Today is not a typical day.

You scrub a hand over your face, turning away from the cupboard door that you’ve just slammed with vicious force.

“Sorry,” you mutter, your jaw tight. “I’m just in a bad mood.”

“Yes, I can see that much.” The teasing lilt is still there, but you can hear a hint of warning blooming in the words. “Quite the stroppy little thing, today, aren’t you?”

“Missy,” you caution, trying hard to keep the bite out of her name. “Just- don’t. Seriously.”

“If you think I’m going to tiptoe around you just because you’re on the rag then-”

Incensed, you turn on her, snapping back, “I’m not on the fucking-!”

The words die in your throat when her hand slams down on the kitchen counter beside you.  She’s much closer than you expected, close enough to make you cringe back until the edge of the countertop digs into the base of your spine. She cocks her head, her eyes sparking dangerously, her painted lips curled into a half-smile with too many sharp teeth behind it.

“Careful, dearest,” she chimes sweetly. “Try again.”

Your gulp is deafening in the stillness.

Tentatively, you make another attempt. Your sour mood still shines through in your voice. “I’m just- I’m having one of those days. I don’t know why.” Missy raises an eyebrow, prompting you to continue, waiting with all the patience of a half-submerged crocodile for you to make another mistake. You turn your face away and take a steadying breath. “Everything- everything is getting to me. Everything’s too much. I feel like I’m gonna scream or break down in tears any second.”

“Maybe you should.”

You scoff wryly at her response and her other hand darts out, cool fingers taking hold of your chin, guiding your eyes back to her. Bristling at her audacity, you shrug her off. Her palm lands on your cheek, not harsh enough to be called a slap, but certainly with sufficient force to remind you that she would strike you if she had to. It pushes you into acquiescence as she turns your head once more.

Her expression has you dragging your bottom lip between your teeth, averting your eyes to avoid her gaze. She’s looking into you, through you, leaving you feeling pitifully exposed.

“I mean it.” Her thumb sweeps across your cheekbone with tenderness juxtaposed to her stern voice. She has a perfect way of doing this, of trapping you between severity and softness, disorientating you so that you never quite know if she’s about to kiss you or bite you. It consumes your attention and starts to unravel some of the throbbing knots in your mind. “I can help you, if you want. Give you something to cry about.”

Only Missy could make such a threat sound like a consolation.

Reaching up to cover her hand with your own, you risk meeting her eyes. Her lips quirk in encouragement. You’ve played this sort of game before, of course, but that doesn’t make it any easier to ask for; and she will make you ask for it.

Regardless of what you do now, pain will come. You were rude - downright nasty, in fact - and while she loves an argument better than anybody, she has her limits. Being snapped at like that is one of them. Your chances of sitting comfortably tonight are already miniscule. All that remains is for you to decide the context.

“Please.” It’s quiet, strained, the best you can manage. “Please... mummy.”

It’s hard to say if it’s uttering the words that knocks the wind out of you or if it’s the beaming smile that spreads across her face.

“Good girl,” she praises gently, her fingers curling under your chin with ticklish pressure that softens your tense posture immediately. It’s remarkable how easy this is for her, how swiftly she can turn you into whatever kind of creature she wants you to be, without even the barest hint of hypnosis. She can have you howling with rage, scratching and swearing and fighting her for all you’re worth, in one moment, and falling to your knees to worship at her feet in the next. If it weren’t so mutually beneficial it might frighten you.

Sometimes it still does.

“Mummy,” your voice is a cracked whisper as you nuzzle into the touch. She gives you a sympathetic pout and a soft click of her tongue. “I’m sorry I was rude.”

“I know you are, poppet.” She brushes a stray bit of hair behind your ear and loops her other arm around you, pulling you into her embrace. You gratefully accept it, tucking your head against her shoulder. “You’re just a sulky little girl, today, aren’t you? It’s not your fault.”

“S’no excuse,” you mumble into her blouse. It’s awkward, physically, to fold yourself up against her like this, but the soft cotton under your cheek and the scent of her perfumed neck call to you irresistibly. Your fingers press into her corseted back, savouring the warmth of her.

“No, it’s not,” she agrees, without reprimand. “But I’m not cross with you.” Her fingers card through your hair, her nails dragging soothingly against your scalp. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner, hmm? We could have nipped this in the bud first thing this morning, before it ever got this far.”

“I don’t know.” You hold tighter to her, the soft admonition making you feel faintly ridiculous. “I just thought it’d go away on its own.”

“Silly girl.” She sweetens the words with a soft kiss to your ear that sends a pleasant tremor through you. Her palm presses between your shoulder blades, rubbing firmly. “You know that that’s what mummy’s here for.”

You’re already close to tears just from this tenderness, and you nod against her shoulder, sniffling them back. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, none of that, love,” she croons. “It’s alright. I’m here now, and I have the perfect medicine for a fussy girl like you.”

Missy, expertly as ever, changes your mood like she’s flicking a light switch. Desire creeps slow and warm down the back of your neck. The gentle touch of her nose, her lips, against your ear becomes a caress as sensual as anything you’ve ever felt. With one last peck she looses her arms from around you.

Being let go of after she’s peeled back your defences like this, baring all of your rawest parts to the world, is torturous, but she entwines her fingers with yours and squeezes your hand to soften the blow.

“I think that this,” she reaches past your shoulder and plucks something from the counter behind you, utensils rattling together in their holder as she disturbs them, “should do very nicely. Don’t you?”

Smiling like she’s presenting you with a gift, she holds up the wooden spoon and shows it to you.

The sight of it makes your mouth go dry.

You’d always assumed that there was such a thing as a cruel implement; that pain and pleasure hung upon the tools used to create them, in at least some small way. That notion has long since been cleared from your mind. Sensation, in all its guises, is what Missy chooses to make of it. She can kiss you into agonies or beat you into euphoria, depending on her mood.

She’s used this on you before, but only ever with playful intentions. In this moment, playful she is not. The fact that she isn’t cross with you doesn’t mean that you will be spared; only that she’ll whisper words of encouragement rather than sharp reprimands while she takes you apart.

“So quiet, now?” She purses her lips, a soft note of displeasure in her voice. “Cat got your tongue, dear?”

You shake your head, not taking your eyes off of the spoon. “No, mummy.” You have to pause to wet your lips. “That- that would be good.”

Her face softens as if she’d been braced for you to protest. “Oh, my poor girl.” Once more, she squeezes your hand. “You really have had a miserable day, haven’t you?”

Feeling tears tug at your throat again, you nod silently.

“We’ll have you feeling better in no time. Come along.” Letting her chosen weapon hang at her side, she gently tugs you away from the counter. “I think we’ll do this in the bedroom today.”

With your eyes cast down you follow her through the TARDIS, its warbling hum a familiar comfort. Like everything else she does, Missy’s choice of location is always symbolic. If she were to bend you over the kitchen counter you could expect to have your arm twisted up behind your back - not necessarily with unkind force - and your clothes in disarray to expose you best. In the bedroom, things would be tidier. You would, you will, be bare across her lap, your fingers twisting in the duvet, the rhythm of her breaths and the shifting of her thighs reverberating through you like an extra heartbeat.

She’s utterly fearless as she strolls the halls, humming something to herself under her breath, the wooden spoon in her hand for all and sundry to see if you were to be witnessed. You doubt that your private activities are a mystery, as such, to your travelling companions, but the thought of the tableau that you would make as she leads you to the bedroom like this is enough to make you wince.

All shame is forgotten when you arrive.

“Would you be a dear, and fetch mummy’s box of tricks?” Missy lets go of your hand to brush your cheek with her knuckles, her voice a sweet and conspiratorial whisper. The feathery touch has you ducking your head with a shiver. “I’m certain I can find something in there to turn that little frown upside down.”

“Okay, mummy.” She flicks the tip of your nose with her fingertip and makes you squeak. Her smile widens.

“You see? It’s not all so bad, is it?” Her lips follow her finger, pressing a soft kiss to your nose. “Go on, poppet. You know where it is.”

The box of toys that she refers to is, you believe, a reupholstered sewing box, lined with black velvet. It sits on the middle shelf of the armoire, its mahogany grain gleaming in the rosy light of the bedroom, and you bring it to her with nothing short of reverence. It’s heavier than it looks.

It is, of course, bigger on the inside.

Missy takes it from you with a saucy wink and sets it down on the bed, atop the damask sheets, balancing the wooden spoon across its lid. It’s an impossibly tempting sight; she holds relief of every kind in her delicate hands. Something, almost a giggle, anticipation making you giddy and restless, bubbles up from your chest. You bite your lip to stifle more.

“Oh, my lovely girl.” The corners of her eyes crinkle as she takes both of your hands in hers, pulling you closer to stand in front of her when she sits at the side of the bed. “This is all you needed, isn’t it? A little bit of attention. A little bit of discipline.”

The words make your throat feel tight. Your eyes flit from her face down to the shape of her knees beneath the plum skirt. It’s too easy, teetering here on the precipice between symptom and cure, to let anxiety overtake you again, and your face heats with prickling self-consciousness. 

“I’m not doing this because I’m cross with you.” She lifts your right hand to her mouth and brushes a soft, damp kiss across your knuckles, her eyes trained on your face all the while. “It’s for your own good. You’ll feel better for it.”

You offer her a shallow nod and murmur, weakened by the tears that bite in your throat, “I know.”

With another encouraging squeeze to your hands she lets them go, lets you brace them on her shoulders as she takes hold of your hips and guides you between her parted knees.

“You really are ever so pretty, you know.” Her fingers creep under the hem of your long shirt, trailing light and ticklish at the bare skin above the waistband of your leggings. You shiver under the touch. “I’m terribly lucky to have you.”

Your breath hitches. “Missy-”

“Ah, ah, ah,” she stills her hands, cool palms flat either side of your waist. One eyebrow quirks. “Mummy’s talking. It’s rude to interrupt.”

She’s almost too good at this. 

“Sorry, mummy.” Pressing your fingers into her shoulders, you bend to kiss the dark, unruly hair at the crown of her head. She curls her fingertips against your sides and rubs slow circles there.

“Such a soft little thing, you are.” It’s uncanny, how you can be stooped over her like this, your cheek pressed into her hair, and feel entirely at her mercy. When her fingernails drag across your skin, sending you twisting and whining at the feathery sensation, she titters. “Oh, I could just eat you all up!”

Missy bunches up the fabric of your shirt in her hands and lifts it to your waist, baring a few inches of skin above your leggings. Her mouth descends with unbridled glee. Cool, slick kisses attack your stomach, and you squeal, caught off guard and entirely delighted. Emboldened by your reaction, she pulls you tighter to her mouth, fastens her open lips to the soft flesh just above your navel and blows.

It tickles, of course, rippling through you until you almost lose your breath in a shriek, but it does more than that. You draw tighter around her, wrap your arms around her shoulders, shifting your thighs together as the sensation washes down your spine as well as up. Another flicker of arousal unfurls in your abdomen and licks at your cunt. Obviously aware of the effect that she’s having, she nuzzles her nose just above your waistband, tickling the skin there with her breath.

“You're such a good girl for me.” When she starts to work at your leggings you straighten up, keeping your hands on her shoulders, widening your stance to help her ease them over your hips and down your thighs. It’s impossible to ignore how close her face is to your exposed underwear. “You’re not going to give me any trouble, today, are you, hmm?”

It feels like a lot to promise. Still, you nod.

“You’re going to be a brave girl, and come over my knee without a fuss?”

“Yes, mummy.” That much, you think you can manage. What comes after is anybody’s guess. “I promise.”

Bravery, for so long, meant stoicism to you, as if the two were interchangeable. You’d always assumed that they were. The first time you’d done something like this, been brought to a helpless flood of tears at her hand, the shame of losing control in such a way had almost crushed you; the memory of her fingers combing through your hair as she crooned how well you’d done, how brave you’d been for her, never fails to give you strength now. For all of her madness, there is method, and for all of her sadism there is an odd sort of compassion.

You don’t doubt that she enjoys her role in this. Missy has no pretences about her desires, and even while she soothes or rebukes you in the midst of your torment she makes no bones about how gratified she is to be inflicting it. The pleasure of watching you endure for her is only ever made sweeter by the shrieking, sobbing, squirming evidence of just how much you’re suffering.

Your devotion is paid in blood, in sweat, in boundless tears. Hers is paid in the freedom to give them.

She strips off your leggings and your knickers and leaves you standing there in your oversized shirt, braless beneath it. The hem covers what little modesty you may have.

“On, or off?” Missy toys with the fabric, cocking her head as she gazes up at you. You pause for a moment to consider the question. It’s comfortable, this shirt - one of your favourites, one that smells of her and feels soft and warm enough that you reached for it this morning as soon as you knew what kind of day it was going to be.

“On,” you answer eventually. “Please.”

“As you like, poppet.” She sits further back on the bed and pats her lap. “Come on, then. Let’s have you.”

It should be absurd, this entire scene, the way you eagerly climb onto your knees on the bed and lie yourself across her lap without hesitation. When she lifts the hem of your shirt higher to expose your arse it should make you feel ridiculous, and it does, in a way, but there’s an inexplicable comfort that comes with that. She revels in it, in turning you into this - whatever this is - and you bask in her obvious pleasure with complete abandon.

“So well-behaved for me,” she murmurs, one hand curling into the bountiful fabric of the shirt, resting low on your back with grounding weight. “My good girl.”

You cross your arms on the duvet and cradle your face with them, cheek pressed into the damask. The first touch of her cool palm on your arse makes you shiver, and then sigh contentedly when she begins to massage and squeeze the soft flesh there.

“It’s been too long since we’ve done this, hasn’t it?” Her voice is soft, a little teasing lilt to it that makes you smile. “You know that you can ask me whenever you like.”

“I know,” you tell her again, feeling your toes curl and flex from the gentle stimulation. “I just... I feel silly. Asking you.”

“Oh, poppet.” She presses her knuckles into your back to rub there. “Taking care of you is never a chore to me, you know. It could only ever be a pleasure.”

It’s too much for you to answer to; too much for you to think on, for long, without falling apart. Luckily, she doesn’t wait for you to speak. Her ministrations cease abruptly and she lands a single, hard smack on the left side of your arse.

You jerk across her lap, breath catching. As the sting begins to sink in you hiss, near-silent, “fuck.”

“Such language,” Missy chides, hiding her amusement with enviable skill, completing the symmetry with another swat that makes you gasp. “Do you think that’s appropriate for a little girl?”

She hits you again, and you squeak, shaking your head emphatically “No, mummy. I’m sorry.”

“I should think so.” Another smack; the warmth is slowly building under her hand, a wash of prickling pink heat. Some of the tension is starting to ease from your back, your shoulders, your neck, muscles you hadn’t realised were tight beginning to loosen. “I ought to wash your mouth out with soap.”

“Oh, please don’t!” There’s barely a trace of play-acting in your panicked whimper. The first time she’d made such a threat, you’d assumed that it was in jest; you had, of course, assumed wrongly, and you have no intention of repeating that experience. “I promise I’ll be good.”

“Bold words, my dear.” When she lands a particularly sharp slap low on the curve of your arse, she follows it through, digging her fingers into the stinging flesh and squeezing hard. Your fingers wind into the duvet cover as you turn your head and cry out into the fabric. “I shan’t warn you again.”

Frankly, you’re lucky that she warned you the first time.

With that, she begins to warm you up properly. Because she is not cross, and because this is not a punishment, she doesn’t tease you. The rhythm she takes up is steady and unflinching, a pattern of blows delivered with clinical precision. That sting of warmth blooms into a glow, and then a burn, until your breaths are short and your lips are curled back in a tight grimace.

The sensation is not yet much beyond discomfort, but it’s enough to draw you out of the depths of your own mind, pulling you back into the body that she holds against hers. Beneath you is the soft wool of her skirt, the comfort of the bed you share, the stability of her powerful thighs. Above you she presses the heel of one hand into your back and uses the palm of the other to set you alight. Nothing matters, nothing exists beyond these sensations.

All too soon, she stops.

“There we are,” she coos, rubbing at the sting with tenderness you know better than to mistake for mercy. “Isn’t that nice?”

It’s beyond you to answer, but you offer her a stunted nod, nuzzling into the duvet beneath your face. You draw a steadying breath. Tears sit heavy in your eyes, waiting to fall, impatient for the pain to come.

“You’re so lovely and pink.” Her fingernails drag a spiralling pattern across your sore arse, setting your thighs trembling. “This always calms you down so nicely. You’re such a meek little thing, really. You just get yourself in a muddle, sometimes.”

She tightens her grip on your shirt, replacing the ticklish touch of her fingernails with the cool, smooth back of the spoon. It's the most tantalising threat she can give you.

“Aren’t you lucky, hmm?” She adjusts her position, lifting one leg just enough to tilt your hips and expose you better. “To have a mummy who cares about you so much?”

The first snap of wood against your already-heated skin is like a lit match. You cry out, pulled from your stupor, hands fisting into the duvet cover. It takes all of your strength to turn the expletive that races up your throat into a wordless yelp.

“Oh, you are so cherished, my love.” Her voice is soft when she strikes again, on oh, god, the exact same spot, sharp as anything. “I just adore you.”

Three, four, five times she brings the back of the spoon down in the same place, low on the curve of the right side of your arse. The skin there turns tight with blistering heat. Your throat thickens as the tears gather momentum, pitiful whimpers spilling from your grimacing mouth. Just when you think you can bear it no more, this repetitive pattern of merciless strikes, she switches sides and begins to do the same on the left.

“You really do make me terribly proud, you know.” The cadence of her words is a dizzying juxtaposition to the steady rhythm of her unfaltering smacks. “Entirely vexed, at times, but always unutterably proud.” Without warning, she switches back, catching you off guard with a blazing strike to the red-hot patch of skin she was previously administering to.

The dam breaks with a vengeance.

You shriek, lurching forwards, holding tight to the duvet as the tears begin to fall, it seems, all at once. The speed with which it overcomes you is startling. Your hips shift over her lap, legs kicking weakly, vainly seeking to retreat from the pain.

“Good girl,” Missy croons, winding more of the fabric of your shirt into her fist to keep you from moving too far. “There you go. You just relax and let me help.”

Having achieved what she’d set out to do, piercing the thin skin that held back your cries, she sets to work on turning the rest of your arse as sore as the two spots she’s been abusing with such precision.

You might be begging; it’s hard to tell. It’s hard to notice anything but the faultless way she applies her chosen weapon to your stinging flesh, carrying you on a wave of incandescent pain through that horrifying moment of losing control. You twist, you writhe, you push your face into the sheets until the fabric turns wet and cool with tears, and all the while she feeds the fire in your skin and soothes you with soft praise.

When you finally reach back, overcome by the pain, every square inch of skin tight and blazing, she knocks your hands away.

“Enough,” you manage, through great, hiccupping sobs. “Enough, that’s enough-”

“Almost, poppet.” She presses her hand down into the small of your back again, rubbing firmly, easing the cries from your lungs. “Just a little bit longer.”

“No, no, but-” wiping your streaming eyes with the back of your hand, you squirm in her grip. “I’m done, I- I don’t want-”

“Oh, hush now.” She cuts you off, striking again, this time lower; the sensitive patches at the very tops of your thighs, the spots you feel when you walk or sit, are still due to be paid attention in full. “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, dearest. I take my duty to you very seriously. I’d hate to leave you wanting.”

Wanting is, perhaps, a strong word for it, but she does have a point. Being pushed just beyond the limits of your comfort never fails to leave you feeling better, in the end, once the tears have dried up and the endorphins begin to fade.

Fortunately for you, pushing is Missy’s speciality.

You’re a mess before she’s finished. The duvet cover is twisted up in your hands, folds of it stuffed into your mouth to muffle the helpless cries streaming from you. Your shoulders shake with desperate sobs. The heat that radiates from your punished skin seems to flow all the way down, merging seamlessly with the warmth of the slippery arousal that spills from you almost as readily as your tears, until it’s impossible to recall the border between desire and distress. Every nerve is alive and screaming. For half a second you wonder what could have possibly possessed you to ask for this.

And then she stops; and you remember.

“There’s my brave little girl.”

Slender fingers card through your hair, the palm of her other hand sweeping across your overheated skin. You keen miserably into the duvet, struggling to catch your breath, nuzzling against her hands. She clicks her tongue in sympathy.

“Oh, poppet.” The heel of her hand presses into the sore flesh of your arse, making you yelp and jerk, but this deeper pressure helps to ease the worst of the overwhelming sting. “Shh, shh, it’s alright. Just let it go. Mummy’s got you.”

Missy takes to this role as she takes to everything; with complete and utter mastery. She coaxes every drop of pent up emotion from you with her tireless hands, soothing pain as readily as she inflicts it, consoling what feels inconsolable. With immeasurable patience she cradles you in her lap while your wracking sobs die down into pitiful whimpers.

“There we are,” she coos eventually, scratching gently at your scalp with her blunt fingernails. “Do you feel that? It’s all gone, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you admit with a sniffle. “Think so.”

“Oh, I know so, dearest.” Satisfied that you’ve calmed down, she lightens her touch again, letting her fingertips trail across the intense heat left behind by her ministrations. Her touch feels like ice and you shiver. “Just like magic. I’m really rather good, if I do say so myself.”

It strengthens you, and you roll your eyes fondly, blinking away the last of the tears. Your smile is watery and genuine. “You’re the best.”

“Oh, you know it makes me all tingly when you say things like that.” Her fingers spiral lower. As they creep towards the apex of your thighs you start to shift over her lap again, for an altogether different reason. In the afterglow of pain, the catharsis of weeping, your earlier arousal makes itself known once more. “My sweet little girl. You look delightful like this.”

It’s supposed to be teasing, but the brush of her fingers against the inside of your parted thighs makes your breath hitch, turning the question into a tentative whisper. “Really?”

“Really.” You spread your legs wider, allowing her the space to spider-walk her fingers along the inside of your right thigh, drawing your attention to just how slick you are. “All pretty in pink, and behaving so nicely for me. I could do anything to you.”

“Would you?” You risk a glance over your shoulder for the first time and find her eyeing you with a mischievous twinkle. It makes your heart race. “Please, mummy?”

“Oh, you are incorrigible, my dear.” She pats the back of your thigh, just shy of the sore spots. “Up you come. Let me see that lovely smile.”

Shifting back up onto your knees is awkward, and the hem of your shirt falls back down with the movement to irritate your stinging skin. Missy holds you steady as you sit back on your heels beside her.

“There it is.” Her fingers curl beneath your jaw, gently tilting your face to her. Conscious of the state you must be in, cheeks flushed, eyes red, dry tears cracking on your face, you smile weakly. “Do I get a kiss, now that you’ve finished sulking?”

There’s no trace of admonition in the words. Your smile widens, and you nod tentatively. “Yes, please.”

“Such good manners.” She grins sharply, leaning in to nuzzle your nose with hers. “It’s a wonder I don’t do this every day.”

Her fingernails skim along the curve of your jaw when she kisses you, tickling your earlobe until you giggle into her mouth. In her lips you can feel the curve of a genuine smile; not teasing, not mocking, utterly without performance. It makes your heart flutter.

When you break away your arms loop around her shoulders. “Thank you,” you murmur against her cheek. “Really. Thank you for this.”

“My pleasure, dearest.” Trailing her fingertips down your neck, she adds softly, “I mean it, you know. Every word.”

You hold tighter to her, feeling yet another prickle of tears. It’s easier, like this - easier for her to say it, easier for you to hear it, how deeply she cares for you. When your role is meek acquiescence you can lie still and let her worship you, and she, for her part, can do it, free of interruption or inhibition. In these moments it occurs to you that you are not the only one liberated from shame.

Your lips catch the corner of her mouth. “I know.”

Again, with effortlessness that astounds you, she catches you before you can fall into another well of emotion. 

In a vertiginous display of speed she knocks you onto your back on the bed and straddles you to pepper your face with soft kisses. You shriek with delight, squirming underneath her, the raised pattern of the damask duvet cover irritating your stinging skin in a way that feels entirely too sensuous. The plentiful folds of her wool skirt warm your hips and thighs.

“That- ah!” Her hands dart underneath your shirt, fingers wriggling against your sides. “Mummy, that tickles!”

“My goodness, does it really?” Feigning innocence, she shifts lower, working feathery kisses over your throat now instead. “And this?”

“Yes!” You shiver under her touch when she drags her fingers further down, over your hips.

“Oh, well, I suppose I’ll stop, then.” Missy pauses dead still, her fingers curling into the dimples of your hips, her keen eyes fixed on your face as she peers up at you. She’s poised to strike, moments away from slotting herself between your thighs, and you bite your lip.

“Well... no.” Face heating under her gaze, you shift against her, rolling your hips. “I didn’t say that.”

“Make your mind up, poppet,” she teases, but she resumes her journey and swiftly has your legs hooked around her shoulders, her arms looped about your thighs to keep you open for her. Your back arches when you feel her breath against your vulva. “Are we playing, or aren’t we?”

The sight of her, lying on her stomach, her stockinged feet in the air and her ankles demurely crossed as she gazes, catlike, up from between your legs, plucks your spine with desire.

“Yes, please.” Once more, you tangle your hands in the duvet. “Please, mummy.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

Her face splits into the familiar predatory grin and she holds your gaze as the flat of her tongue strokes the length of you. It’s enough to make you quiver, a hoarse cry ripped from your mouth at the heat, the velvet-soft touch of her. You can feel her throaty chuckle in your bones and when she pulls back, the loss makes you whimper.

“If you’re a very good girl, I might even let you choose a toy.”

[krypteretnetwork]

Camp NanoWrimo April 2021: Day 6

Word count: 1534 (7151 total)

    The second the question had been said, Alleos cringed and hissed a little bit, sucking her teeth. Why on earth did he just have to ask that? She exhaled a deep breath and just glared at him.

    “Well?” said Iceland once more, knitting his brows together as he looked over to her.

    “Felt fine until you spoke,” she answered bluntly, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “The network, however… feels fine as well, though, so…”

    Relaxing his gaze, Iceland nodded. “I’m glad to hear that... “ he patted her shoulder, which caused her to jolt away from him. “How about you, Hong Kong, and I go out and have some fun like we originally intended to?”

    The mention of letting loose and having a bit of fun made the micronation smirk. “I like the thought of that for sure.”

    “Then it’s settled. I’m sure he’ll be in on it as well.”

~~~

    Thankfully, the entire group made it out of the hiking trail and back to Iceland’s home completely unharmed. Everybody seemed to be significantly less tense than they had been before, which, of course, was a good thing as well. As soon as they were home, Alleos had headed up to her room- which was no surprise, as even before her little visions, she would have done the same -and Iceland stayed with the rest of the Nordics.

    “Thank you, you lot… I can tell she feels better already.”

    “It’s no problem, lil bro! That’s what we’re here for, huh?” replied Denmark, patting the boy on the head. This caused his face to flush a little bit, and he backed off.

    Then, Finland smiled his usual warm smile. “We had fun, Ice. Thank you for letting all of us tag along.”

Though he kept quiet, Sweden nodded along with what Finland had to say. Despite Alleos’s closeness to Finland, she was surprisingly distant from the Swede. Of course, not much else was to be expected, and though he would never let anybody know that did upset him quite a bit.

“Anything for my lil bro and lil sis,” said Norway with a tiny smirk as he patted his brother on the head. “Keep me posted about what’s going on.”

“Yeah, yeah,” snapped Iceland, clearly flustered from the gestures of his brothers. “Did you guys need anything else, or are you ready to head out?”

~~~

“Almost ready!” Alleos called out as both Hong Kong Iceland messaged her again. Glancing over the room once more, she decided to open the window to get a little bit of airflow coming in while she was gone. Not to mention, all of her equipment could overheat easily. To top it all off, the weather was looking nice, so she figured why not? Once the window was open and she was sure she had everything necessary, she headed downstairs.

“Took you long enough,” grumbled Iceland.

Alleos rolled her eyes. “Please, it would take more than just a few hands to count how many times I was the one waiting on you. I’m ready now, so let’s go.” That being said, the three headed off, out to the city to have a night out.

The very first stop the three made was to get some fast food and some silly string. The trio settled outside the building with their food, conversation starting up quickly.

“So, what happened a bit back? With your siblings…” said Iceland. He hadn’t gotten much from Hong Kong since that incident, and he was still curious as ever.

Rolling his eyes, Hong Kong let out an exasperated sigh. “Just the usual crap. Nothing too terrible, but just annoying…”

“I see.” He figured he ought to not press even more, then he looked over to Alleos. “This one over here, on the other hand, ever since her fainting spell…”

With a scowl, Alleos threw a few fries over in his direction. “Shut up, stupid. You don’t even know what’s been going on. I thought we were through that, remember?”

Huffing, Iceland tossed a few of his own fries back in her direction. Truthfully, he wasn’t so sure with how to respond, so he decided to change the topic. “Any ideas as to what we wanted to even do?”

“I thought we were going to hit a few places with the silly string?” said Hong Kong, amused at the argument between the two. Iceland just nodded.

Alleos’s expression, on the other hand, lit up a bit. “There’s construction going on somewhere around here… it’s after hours, too, so nobody will be there. I wanted to climb the crane, juuust to see what would happen…”

Her brother and friend laughed. “We’ll be there to cheer you on!” said Hong Kong without any hesitation.

~~~

And so off for their night out the three went. It mainly consisted of going into stores, running around and trying absolutely abhorrent clothing on, then the three bullying each other for their horrendous tastes. The silly string was used to mark some abandoned areas, as well as each other, and by the time they made it to the construction site it had gotten quite dark out. Not to mention, it was starting to look a bit cloudy.

“You’re crazy,” mused Iceland as Alleos handed over her bag and approached the machine.

“Maybe so, but life risking fun is the best kind of fun!” she shouted back. Pulling out a can of silly string, Hong Kong shot it over at her, prompting her to run closer to the structure. “Knock that off!!”

With a teasing sneer, Hong Kong opted to pull out his phone and begin recording. “Get a look at this dumbass!”

Looking up at the massive machine, Alleos paused to take in the scenery. The slightest pit dropped in her stomach as she looked up to the sky. Subconsciously, she took a step back.

“Hey, hey! You’re not going to back out of this, are you?!” shouted Hong Kong from behind.

“Definitely not!” she called back. Then, without skipping a single beat, the climbing of the machine began. Or, at least, the climbing up to the top.

Rubbing his face, Iceland just watched. As she made her way higher and higher, he couldn’t help but look away. “Oh, hell no!” Just then, some breezes began to come through, and he looked back up. Though he was unsure if she could even hear her, he called out to her. “Get down, idiot!”

Alleos didn’t even make it all the way up before she stopped, hugging one of the poles for support as she stood tall on the structure. “Whoa,” she mused, her eyes wide as she gazed around. While she hadn’t made it as high as she had hoped to, she could still see a hell of a lot more than any rooftop could enable her to. She was on the verge of taking out her phone to snap a photo when she began to feel some of the harsher breezes.

Adrenaline began to pump through her. “Man, this really was a shit idea!” she mused to herself. She’d done some weird things on rooftops before, but never something quite like this.

“...Maybe I should head down,” she said as another breeze came through. Looking up, she realized that the weather had in fact changed. With this thought racing through her mind, she began the journey down, rather skillfully at that. Watching all of those videos online had to have some sort of payoff, right?

As the bottom of the crane gradually got closer, the weather got increasingly more harsh. The wind had started to pick up, and it had even began to rain, only making the structure more slippery.

“Shit…”

She began to tremble even more from adrenaline, thus prompting her to go even faster.

“Just a little more…”

She was still a good way up.

Then, suddenly-

“Shit…!”

As what was more than likely expected, she lost her grip with both her hands and her feet. The second she slipped, both Hong Kong and Iceland made a run for it, trying to get there fast enough with no avail.

The fall had thrown her into shock, making the impact, and what came with it, painless. The fact something had happened to her, only reflected that things weren’t well with the network, either.

~~~

The micronation jolted open with a startled yelp, blinking her tired eyes. It seems her cry had caught the attention of someone, as a Finn she recognized had entered her room shortly after.

“Alleos! My, are you okay, little one?” he asked frantically. Panting as she sat up, she looked around in a frenzy. Gently, he pushed her so she was lying down. “You lie down now. You need rest. That was one hell of an accident with the network… gosh, if I hadn’t called Swe over, I… I don’t want to think of any potential outcome.”

“Wait… Sweden?” she muttered, sitting up again. “We’re… at your place?”

Finland blinked in confusion. “Erm, of course we are! You founded Alleos, here, remember…? Oh, dear, is everything alright with you?” he placed a hand on her forehead, frowning as she swatted his hand away.

But she wasn’t paying attention. She founded Alleos in Finland? When?

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (chapter 5)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

 the dream team talk how to maximize their attacks

the sleepy boys talk about no more fighting

Chapter word count: 1938 (a little shorter than usual sry)

AO3 

I am the author, please don’t re-upload this fic to any other sites/ reblog>re-upload

As the hazing summer weather beamed through the glass panes of their windows, the oldest of all the Dream kids, Bad, was recleaning out the scar on George’s cheek, making sure it was safe for him to go out for the day without him getting it infected, Covering it up with some gauze and medical tape once he was satisfied it wouldn’t be getting infected. Dream watched with ferocious intensity as he tried to memorise every movement, Bad wasn’t home very often, he had school and other things to deal with, so Dream was left to be the biggest brother most of the time. 

When he was little, he would have jumped at the chance to be in charge! It meant he was strong and trustworthy but recently, despite his confident facade, he did find himself getting worried a lot. Being the oldest meant knowing what to do when everyone else was scared, it meant being the bravest! And while he did have to admit he was a natural born leader, he didn’t always feel prepared. People were unpredictable and it scared him a little that it was his responsibility to judge them now. 

“Look” Bad sighed as he listened to his two youngest brothers rant on and on about how mean their ‘rivals’ were; as much as he hated to see them all upset and bothered like this, he was sure something must have happened to cause such a big feud. Kids don’t just fight for the sake of fighting right? When he was their age, he, skeppy and their other friend used to just prank people and play random games together. Maybe they did play fight, he couldn’t really remember..

“Are you sure that nothing happened to provoke them? I believe you muffin heads but maybe try to talk to them about sharing the park next time? Not everything has to be a war y’know……. And keep the gauze on this time! The doctor said you can’t leave it open until it’s fully healed. If you think those boys are actually dangerous I can go talk to their parents while you're gone, stay away from them though okay? I don’t want any more bumps or scratches.” 

As the boys all scrambled to grab their things before running out the door, they each gave Bad a hug, letting him know they’d call if they would be out late. The summer air lingered with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and familiarity as the three kids walked down the street, they hadn’t lived here long at all but they’d already made a name for themselves; they had even already made a group of enemies on the same street as them. This would be fun. 

Walking around in a thick green hoodie and a mask was proving to be more of a challenge that he had initially anticipated though, he wasn’t sure what kind of hell they had moved into but summer was so much more than summer. It was thick thick air, beads of sweat, and absolute torture. He felt his breath fog up and condensate his mask, leaving a coating of wet breath along the inside of the plasticy surface. It was disgusting but he’d rather pass out through heat exhaustion than take it off. Taking off the jumper was fine though, he did need to take extra care when pulling it off though since he couldn’t risk accidentally flashing his face.

Dream had always enjoyed the more violent games, he was an athletic boy, the most athletic out of all his brothers, and he loved trying to see if they could track him down or catch him. This usually ended up being games of hide and seek or bulldog that got taken too far, the scar on the cheek hadn’t been a big deal for them since they were so used to playing in such a rough manner. To them, this was all a game. They’d have a big war over the den but at the end of the day they’d still be friends, if he was being honest Dream was glad he had found other boys who liked the same kind of games as they did! 

His brother’s were fun but they were getting predictable, he knew how they’d react. He wanted new people to play with! He wanted the chance to team up with George and Sapnap and fight as one. 

This would be fun. They needed a plan though. 

“I think.. I think we need to prove that we deserve to hang out there too. There’s absolutely no reason why a little kid should be allowed there but we can't!” Balling his fist up and hitting it directly into the palm of his hand as he tried to think, Dream led the group in the direction of the woods. 

“Wilbur thinks he can talk about what they want as if we don’t exist! I say we declare war on L’manburg! Who are they to say where we can and cannot go!”

Sapnap, the youngest of the three but not by much -certainly not as big of an age gap as the sleepy boys had- had yelled out, waving his toy wooden sword around in mock anger. Really, he was a little upset about not being allowed into the park but it would be so much more fulfilling once they had earned their passage into it. 

Dream glanced at his brother and chuckled, George was holding a toy axe as well, himself having a nerf crossbow, which he had saved up all of his pocket money for a whole month to buy. After doing so many dishes to get the extra cash, he was absolutely going to try it out. 

“Dream you’re good at running, I’d say you should snipe them from behind a bush with your crossbow and when they’re weak you run in there. While they’re distracted George and I can charge in from another point. We shouldn’t attack today, George is still wounded and we aren’t prepared. Let’s just scope the scene and find an alternative entrance”

Admittedly, Dream had a tendency to underestimate his brothers. This was proof enough that Sap could be smart though, it would be an objectively bad idea to attack while they were weakened and the enemy was strong. They only had their ‘weapons’ to defend themselves with, in case the sleepy boys started throwing rocks again. 

In fact, he was still quite surprised that Wilbur even had thrown the rock. He had expected him to be an easy target, he was carrying a guitar around and he was so tall, Dream could definitely push him over if he wanted to play dirty. While it wasn’t ideal they had a tough enemy, he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t intrigued to see what would happen next.

Yes, this game was going to be very fun. 

----

“Okay everyone!” 

Phil called out, his three brothers all sat on a half-rubble brick wall. 

“So we all know that we’ve already had two people get hurt inside the L’manburg walls. Obviously nobody wanted this to happen, whether it was from losing your temper or just not paying attention to your surroundings, we need to do something about it” Phil clapped his hands together, he knew them well, if he made this into something fun they might actually take his advice. 

“L’manburg is not just a hang out spot, it’s not just a theme park either! It is our great nation! And, like every great nation, we need laws and rulers to keep us safe!”

Looking around, he saw how their faces perked up, even Techno, who didn’t usually enjoy roleplaying, seemed excited. It was a nice change, especially things were starting to get mundane, considering there wasn’t much of the park left unexplored -Wil had expressed a desire to want to check out the swampy area but Phil immediately shut down that idea, telling him that even if Wil ended up okay, Tommy would copy him and without a doubt get hurt.

“Wilbur will be your president, while I’m not here he’s going to keep you safe and make any tough decisions. Tommy, you will be the vice president” he had to keep himself from saying this role was just to keep the boy from getting upset at not being chosen for anything cool. 

“Tommy, this is very important, do you think you can handle it?” 

The young boy nodded excitedly, bouncing a little where he was sitting. 

“Okay, Tommy you need to help Wilbur make all the important decisions, and when anybody wants to join L’manburg you need to get Wilbur and then you can be in charge of making them go away” As silly as it was, at least he could trust Tommy to not throw rocks if he was told not to. 

“Finally Techno,”

“Oh my god, me too?” The teen chuckled 

“Of course, we need our warrior! Where would we be without our brave fighter!”

“Ah yes, the warrior. Tommy, I eagerly await your command. I’m so ready to fight people” Techno pulled his hair back, tying it at the back in a low ponytail as some small wisps framed his face. It was beautiful, everyone seemed to agree on that -unless they were overly masculine teenage boys- but Techno would kill anyone who dared say so in an instance.

He seemed to be stifling a little laugh, he was never into acting or theatre like his brothers were, while he was little he always preferred playing strategy games rather than make believe ones. That being said, he still loved seeing them happy and even though he doubted he would be doing it nearly as much as they would, he’d make an effort to play along.

The grin that shot across Tommy’s face was reason enough to roleplay, just a bit. 

“Okay okay so we need laws too! Wilbur, as the president, has already prepared a list” 

Phil sat down on the wall, it was cold and uncomfortable but against the humid air mixed with the slight smell of mildew from the slowly rotting park, it was nice. Last night, he had stayed up late with Wilbur, talking about this idea. If they gave Tommy a new place to hang out inside the park and called it the White house, he’d surely play there instead of doing whatever it is he does on the coasters. 

It still made Phil a little dizzy to think that they had been letting Tommy climb unsupervised while he wasn’t here, hopefully he had the mind to not go too high but knowing his brother, he would have taken the chance to climb higher. 

Wilbur cleared his throat as he got a piece of paper out of his pocket. 

“Dear citizens of L’manburg” 

Tommy giggled, which made Wilbur give him a little smile before he carried on with his speech.

“We will be a peaceful nation! I intend to rule this land without the need for any more people getting hurt. Any kind of weaponry, including collected rocks, are strictly prohibited inside L’manburg, the only instance in which we fight is if we are under attack! My fellow Sleepy boys, too much blood has been shed on this land, I hope you will all stand with me while I strive to steer this great nation in the direction of being more loving and accepting of our neighbours.” 

Phil chuckled as he watched his brothers, they all seemed so happy, most importantly though, they would finally have a reason to be more careful.

Hopefully nobody else would get hurt.

[contextualizd]

So it's my first time ever to try writing a short story/fan fiction. I'm a huge fan of B99 and I've read so many amazing fics here and on AO3, so I tried writing one. I love the jealous/pining Amy plot cause I feel like we don't see that a lot on TV, so that's what I went for. This is a little sad but hopeful. I've read some fics of the same plot so I may have gotten some inspiration from them. I also used Of Monsters and Men's version of the song ”Circles” as inspiration: Run away, but we're running in circles.

And again, it's my first time EVER to write a fictional short story so please bear with me. I mostly just write poems and essays so this is all very new to me. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts though. But please be gentle. Haha. Anyway, here it goes...

NOTE: Also posted here and on AO3.

"Run away, but we're running in circles"

Plot:

Set after Det. Majors, where Amy told Jake about her rule of not dating cops, and before Johnny and Dora.

Caroline, another detective friend of Jake's from his old precinct comes to the 99 to work on a research.

They reconnect and Amy learns from Caroline herself that she really liked Jake and now that he's single, she's hoping that something could finally happen between them. And Amy starts regretting her decision of telling Jake about her stupid rule.

Amy looked up from her computer for the nth time. The desk opposite her is still empty. It's almost lunchtime and Jake hasn't come in yet. She's wondering if he's called in sick or something. She can just text him to ask of course, but since that day she told him about her rule of not dating cops, things have been kinda awkward between them.

She doesn't want to ask Charles cause he'll just tease her. He hasn't stopped teasing her since he found out she had feelings for Jake. It's not really helping with the way things are right now.

Rosa probably won't mind but she's certain that she doesn't care so much about Jake's whereabouts either.

Terry is out on a workplace seminar.

And she's too intimidated to talk to Gina.

Her only other option is to ask Captain Holt, but he's not in his office as well. Something about a meeting in One Police Plaza.

Why does she care so much anyway? Oh yeah, it's because she still likes Jake. But she can't tell him because of her stupid rule. She keeps telling herself that it's for the best. She doesn't want to risk whatever friendship they have just because of a stupid crush.

After about an hour, the elevator dings, and out came Captain Holt with Jake and a very pretty blonde girl.

She's so pretty and her face is so charming. Her hair is so straight and swishy. Her eyes crinkle when she smiles and she has a tiny dimple on her left cheek. She seems to be leaning closely to Jake while talking and laughing animatedly. Amy was so focused on her and how she seems to know Jake so well that she didn't even notice that Captain Holt was talking to the squad.

"..and so we agreed that they can research the system in a number of preselected precincts via observation. Which is why Ms. Caroline Gomez here from the Information Technology Bureau will be joining us for a few days to observe and study our day-to-day processes. Do make her feel at home."

"Thank you, Captain." Caroline smiles sweetly at him.

"I hope you'll find the squad to be helpful for your research. You could maybe start by taking a tour around the precinct. Detective Peralta can help you with that."

"You got it, Captain." Says Jake.

"I'll be in my office if you need anything. Good luck."

After Captain Holt retreated to his office Jake started to introduce Caroline to the squad. It turns out that Caroline was an old friend of Jake's from his old precinct. She's been transferred to the Strategic Technology Division and is researching a project that her team is working on. She reached out to Jake when she found out that he's working at the 99 to see if they can arrange a meeting with Captain Holt. The project is confidential but it was discussed with Captain Holt during the meeting. Jake came with him to One Police Plaza out of curiosity but he was "excluded" because according to him, "They probably thought they won't be able to handle my inputs."

"You remember Gina?" Jake asks Caroline.

"How could anyone ever forget Gina?"

"I know right? What's up girl?" Gina winks at her.

"I'm great. This is great. I'm so lucky that I at least knew some people here. I was so worried about doing this research cause I don't know how the precincts would feel about an 'outsider' snooping around."

"Nonsense! You're not an outsider. Plus Captain totally approves of that project. Whatever the hell that is. Anyway, come on, I'll show you around. First up, the best part of the precinct: the breakroom." Jake says, pulling Caroline to the direction of the breakroom.

"She hasn't changed one bit. She still runs after Jake like a little puppy." Says Gina while shaking her head slowly.

"What do you mean?" asks Amy.

"I remember when they were still working together, I'd be hanging out with Jake at Nana's apartment, the one where I live now, and she would just show up out of nowhere talking about work or something. Then she'd just stay there and hang out with us completely forgetting about the work thing. Jake kept saying they're just friends but I know there's something between them. Sometimes she would stay behind even after I left. I bet they hooked up a lot." With that, Gina left.

Charles turns to Amy with a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Amy tells him, though she's not entirely sure if she is.

First on Caroline's To-Do list that day was to study about the 99's process when it comes to reports and paperwork, so Captain Holt assigned Amy to help her.

Amy loves talking about paperwork but for some reason, she feels uncomfortable about this task. But Caroline was actually really sweet and funny, so she started to slowly feel at ease.

"I'm so sorry. This is probably too tedious for you," Caroline tells Amy.

"No, not at all. I love paperwork. Like you have no idea."

"Really? That's so cool. Although Captain Holt did say that you're the best person for this task."

"Really? Captain Holt said that?"

But Caroline wasn't able to answer her cause she was too busy looking at Jake who just passed by engrossed in a case file.

"I'm sorry, you were saying?"

"You and Jake are pretty close huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Though, we weren't able to keep in touch after he was transferred. That's why I was so excited when I found out that he's here at the 99. I missed him a lot."

"Do you... like him?" Amy blurted out, immediately regretting her question.

"What? Oh god. Am I that obvious? Haha."

Well... Amy just shrugged.

"I.... do. Yeah. I've always liked him. Even before, when we're still working together. I just never thought I was his type. Do you think he'll like me back?"

Oh. "Um...." She didn't have any problem admitting it huh. If it's so easy for her why am I finding it so hard? Amy thought to herself.

"I'm sorry that's a stupid question. But.. do you know if he's single? Is he dating anybody? I mean, I was kinda hoping that maybe something could happen between us this time."

"Uh.. yeah... I think so. None.. that I know of."

"I'm so sorry about my silly questions. I should be focusing on my research. It's just that I think you guys are so close. And I felt super hopeful especially now that we're hanging out again. It's amazing. We're actually heading out for lunch. You wanna join us?"

"Oh. No... no... I'm fine. Thanks."

"You sure? Well, it's almost lunchtime, I'd better go check if he's ready to go. Thank you so much for your help."

"Sure thing. No problem at all."

"Okay, see you later."

Amy watched as she goes to Jake who immediately put down his case file and got ready to go. They left the precinct laughing at something, probably a clever joke that Caroline told him, while she just stared at them till the elevator doors closed.

-----------------------

The next day, Jake.. and Caroline are nowhere to be found. Amy hasn't seen them since she came to work this morning.

"They went on a date."

"What?! What are you talking about Boyle? Also, why are you sitting so close to me??" Amy tells Charles who's suddenly by her side.

"You're looking for Jake and Caroline, right? I'm pretty sure they went on a date last night. That's probably why they're coming in late today. I'm telling you, Amy, you should do something. I mean, I like Caroline but I like you better for Jake." Charles said with a wink.

"Okay, first of all... I'm not looking for them. Second, never ever wink at me again. And third, I'm not gonna do anything because I made up my mind and I would never date a cop again. Let him date Caroline if he wants to."

"Fine. If you're gonna choose to break your own heart, then fine." Charles tells her leaving her thinking once again. Is that what she's doing? Is she really breaking her own heart?

At around 10:30, they finally arrived together and Jake is carrying Caroline's bag.

Such a boyfriend move. Are they together now? This girl works fast. Amy thought to herself.

Gina who seems to be thinking the same thing as Amy is, went to Jake's desk while Caroline went straight to Captain Holt's office.

"So I guess, chivalry really is not dead huh?"

"Hmm? What's that now?" Jake asks her.

"You carrying her bag when you came to work together. I didn't know you were such a gentleman. Are you like this with all your girlfriends or just her?"

"What? No-no-no. I mean, of course, I'm a gentleman with my girlfriends, but Caroline is not my girlfriend. I'm just carrying her bag because it has the files about this 'confidential' project that we picked up from One Police Plaza this morning. I was hoping I could get a peek but I never got a chance. I am dying to know what this project is about!"

"You picked up the files for her?" Amy couldn't help but butt in.

"Well, I volunteered, but she wouldn't let me pick them up myself. So I just accompanied her this morning to get them. And when I saw that they look heavy, I saw an opportunity. So I offered to carry the bag but I never had the chance to take a look. She's watching it like a frigging hawk!"

Still a boyfriend move. I wonder if he’d carry my bag for me if it looks heavy. He probably would if I was his girlfriend. Which I’m not. Amy thought, once again imagining what might have been.

"Well, this has become a work story, I'm no longer interested. Buh-bye!" Gina says as she returns to her desk leaving the two of them staring at each other. And for some reason, things have suddenly become awkward again.

"Classic Gina," Jake tells her with a shrug and a shy smile.

"Yeah. So.... are you guys dating?" Amy asks him, unable to help herself. She just really wanted to know.

"Me and Caroline? No." Jake answered almost too quickly.

"Why not? I think she likes you."

"What? I mean, I dunno. I think she's great but I never really thought of her that way before."

"Maybe you should ask her out."

"Oh... You think so?" Jake looks genuinely surprised by what she said. And to be honest she's surprised by her own question as well. Maybe she really is breaking her own heart.

"Ooh! You think she'd tell me about the project if we end up being together?" Jake asks her.

"Jake!" Amy scolded him shaking her head at him. Though that actually made her smile a little bit. He's such an idiot sometimes.

"No. Yeah I know. That's such a dick move. But seriously... do you really think I should ask her out?" Jake asks her again but this time there's something in his eyes as he stares at her. Like he's looking for something. Confirmation maybe? Like he's asking her if that's what she really wants him to do.

"Mhmm. Yeah." Was all she could manage.

"Okay. Yeah.. maybe." Jake answered, much to Amy's dismay.

And they both fell silent after that. Focusing on their computer screens, trying to avoid the longing gaze from each other's eyes.

---------------

That night, Amy went out for drinks at Shaw's with the squad. Except for Jake and Caroline. Jake had to work on a case and Caroline kept him company. She cares for him a lot. She's really perfect for him.

But I can do that too. I also care for him a lot. I wanna be the one waiting for him while he works on a case. Maybe even help him cause we work so well together. I wanna be the one he comes to work with and the one he goes home with.

She's always wanted to be that person for him. When he broke up with Sophia, she saw that glimmer of hope once again. The feeling that something might happen between them. If she's being honest that feeling never really went away. She's just too scared to face it. Plus she's certain that his feelings for her were all gone now, after she turned him down twice because of Teddy. Though every once in a while they share a moment that makes her think maybe there's still something between them. But anytime that happens, one of them seems to pull back, too scared to jump in.

Amy tries to shake those thoughts away. Rosa finds her with her bottle of beer that's no longer cold.

"Hey. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Is it Jake? What's the matter with you two? Why are you not dating still? You both like each other. Just go out already."

"It's too complicated Rosa. Dating a cop is too messy. It could ruin everything like how it ruined everything with Teddy. I don't want that to happen between me and Jake. Plus there’s Caroline now. I’m sure he’s better off with her.”

"You're the only one that's making it complicated with your stupid rules. You keep pushing him away. Then you'll realize that you really like him. But then he's already with someone else. You guys are running around in circles. Now you're sitting here looking so lonely. You look pathetic."

"Gee. Thanks a lot."

"Look if you don't want to date Jake because it's 'too messy', maybe you should go out with someone else. That guy looks cute."

Rosa points to a guy sitting alone at the other side of the bar who does look kinda cute.

"Yeah. Maybe I should."

-----------------

It was Caroline's 3rd day at the 99 and Amy had to help her with some case files that she needed to study. There's only the two of them inside the evidence lock up and it was getting kinda awkward, for Amy that is, so she tried to start a conversation.

"So how's it going with you and Jake?" She couldn't think of anything else to talk about. Unfortunately, Jake was the only thing she can think of that they have in common.

"Oh... it's great. He finally asked me out. We're going on an actual date tonight." Caroline tells her.

She's so happy and giddy, Amy couldn't help but feel happy for her as well. Though she knows that a part of her wants to be in her place.

"I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, I really can't wait for tonight. I'm so excited."

Amy tried to give her the best smile she could muster.

When Amy went to the break room to get some coffee, she found Jake eating his breakfast.

"Hey" Jake greeted him awkwardly.

"Hey. Um.. so I heard you finally asked Caroline out."

"I did. Yeah."

"Great. Good for you." She can tell that Jake isn't comfortable talking about this either.

"Thanks."

"I'm also going out on a date tonight."

"Really?" Jake was genuinely surprised. And for a moment Amy thought that she saw a hint of something in his eyes. Is it sadness? Pain?

"Who's the unlucky guy?"

"Someone I met from the bar last night. He's actually really nice. We talked a lot. So he asked me out on a proper date."

"Well, good for you as well then. Did you check if he's a cop? You know, because of the rule."

"No. Yeah, I probably should do that. Better be safe, right? Haha."

"Well. Um.. have fun."

"Yeah, you too."

Truth is, she doesn't really have a date. She didn't even know the name of that guy from the bar. He was cute and he seemed great but she just couldn't find her interest in dating anyone else right now. She just said that to make Jake think that she's totally fine with him going out with Caroline. And that she's not regretting her stupid rule about not dating cops for even a second.

-------------------------

"So how's the date?" Amy asks Caroline the next morning.

"It was great. But..."

"But what?"

"Well.. he doesn't like me back."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"It was really great. We talked a lot the whole night. We laughed so much. It was fun really. But when the night was over and I tried to kiss him.. he didn't kiss me back."

"Oh god. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. He was actually really sweet about it. He apologized to me, and he said he was genuinely sorry. Said he thinks I'm amazing, but that he just couldn't find his interest in dating right now."

"He said that?"

"Yeah. But to be honest, I think he likes someone else."

"Really? Why would you think that?"

"I dunno. I just kinda felt it. Like he's longing for someone but he can't be with her and he just doesn't want to date anyone if it's not her."

"He told you this?"

"No. I don't think he'd ever tell me anything about it. But I can feel it. I can see it in his eyes."

They were both quiet for a while.

"Um... I don't know what to say. Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." Caroline smiled at her.

Amy feels bad for her. She really does. But in a way, her heart feels light with relief to know that Jake doesn't want to date anyone else either.

When she went back to her desk, Jake was burrowed deep in paperwork. But he looked up when she sat down and smiled at her.

"Hey, so I heard the news from Caroline. What happened?" Amy asks Jake trying to find out what he's gonna say about it.

"I dunno. I guess I just realized that maybe you're right. Dating cops can be messy. I didn't want to ruin what we have." Jake shrugged.

"Right. Of course. No dating cops. The best rule, right?"

Jake stares at her for a while before answering. "Sure...Yeah."

Amy wanted to say something. She wants to take it back so badly. She wants to tell him that it's all bullshit and she doesn't care how messy it could get just as long as she's with him. But she didn't.

She doesn't know what's holding her back. Maybe she's too scared. She's never felt like this before. She's always been sure about her decisions. Always calculated every step. But with Jake, her entire system just seems to fall apart. It's so bizarre and it feels good but it's also so scary. Because for the first time in her life she's not sure what to do next.

They didn't say a word after that and just went back to focusing on the work in front of them. Trying not to think of what could have been if they were not cops working together and falling for each other. Or if they would just stop running around in circles.

[carrottuan93]

Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (3/4) | part1 - part2 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2194

You nearly puked your guts out to the sight of Jackson sticking to Eunhee and hugging her like forever has been robbed from them. You failed to confide to your best friend about what happened to you in the last 24 hours. So as not to spoil their couple time together, you chose to not disturb them and just mingle with all the kids in the sweet treats section. You love kids so much you play Santa and distributed macarons to each one of them. As expected, most of your close friends and guests brought their own boyfriends, if not, their own husbands and it was a nice show to witness, with sarcasm aside. Thanks to Jackson’s little cousins, they keep you entertained with their bubbly personality.

 “One with the kids, sure you’re missing the party in the adult section, no?” The sight of a guy clad in a formal white dress shirt, tucked in a black denim pants partnered with a classic chuck taylor, and a gray winter coat, welcomed your eyes. Guys who dress fashionably is such a head turner for you.

“Actually, they keep me company so I’m having fun to be honest.” You replied, feeling all the weird sensation cascading across your spine. You feel a bit nauseous whenever guys approach you. You don’t know if you even want to be with a guy right now, after your embarrassing experience last night.

 “My cousins here are a bunch of nuisance, you’ll get tired of them soon.” He picked one matcha macaron from the aisle and took a bite of it. You observed his expression. A smile crept up to his face and you caught sight of Eunhee in a distant, gossiping to Jackson that you’re having a moment with his cousin. You certainly know that they’re mentally pairing you up already and you are growing nervous about the plans that they are possibly plotting behind your back.

 “You like it? I bought them all the way from a café near my workplace that sells classic macarons just like the original ones from Paris.” He nodded in approval as you watch him took another piece, this time it’s strawberry. That’s your favorite flavor among the rest and you can really tell that the sweet tooth runs on Jackson’s bloodline by how his cousins, from the little chubby ones and the grown up beside you, munch on your favorite treat.

 “I never really eat macarons, but you introduced me into it. You deserve a recognition, uhm?” He lifted his hand for a handshake. He doesn’t know your name yet so you took his hand and introduced yourself right away.

 “It’s Y/n, Eunhee’s best friend. Thank you for the recognition by the way. Well, you come here with a date?” You’re mentally tiptoeing above the thin ice. It’s better to assume that this cute guy over here is already taken, I mean with his looks, he's totally a charmer, you thought to yourself.

 “I didn’t bring anyone with me, so I assume you also come along on your own, no?” Green light. Okay, you need to calm down. This isn’t like any of your past blind dates but first meetups are usually nerve wracking and scary so you played the innocent heroine that you are and chose to just go with the flow seeing how Eunhee and Jackson are staring at you maliciously from Mark’s back, you know they were able to receive the death notes you are sending them via telepathy.

 “That explains it.” It’s not that you had a thing with cute guys, but maybe you just discovered it right now. You can tell he’s a decent one, a cool and random Asian-American import from the west and maybe if you’re an ice cream, you already turned into liquid by the way he stares at you.

 “I don’t know anything about you yet, but would you trust a complete stranger to celebrate your Christmas eve with? If you’re up for it, we’ll leave this party right away because I can tell that you’re going to get sick from all these couples outnumbering us.” Have you been a good girl this year? You didn’t include this guy on your Christmas list but Santa rewarded you without even asking for it.

 “I’m putting my trust on you knowing that Jackson is a good guy so does his cousin. I'll sue him and he’ll answer for the damages and fines in case you failed to bring me back in good shape.” You both let out a hefty chuckle earning glares from your best friend and her boyfriend. You’ve decided to pursue your spontaneous trip with Mark and the next thing you know you’re already closing the front door upon your exit even before the two of them could react to your great and grand escape.

  ----

  He took you on a ride away from the busy and bustling streets of Seoul. You're thrilled to find out that he actually brought you to Namsan Tower, the highest peak in the city. You're awed expression cannot suffice the picturesque panoramic scenery of Seoul unfolding in front of your very eyes when you entered the observatory on the top most floor. You were unable to talk all of a sudden and your heart is brimming with unexplained strings of emotion as you kept on taking pictures and videos of the breathtaking place that sent your eyes into a food coma.

 "I only went to N tower once, or maybe twice but that was during the day and I have no idea that this is how it looks at night. It's a miss, nobody will be able to witness this scene on a Christmas eve the way we're seeing it right now." You forgot about your shameful episodes of last night's happenings and your worries disappeared in just an instant.

 "I kind of paid for tonight's reservation when I arrived here in Korea a week ago, with the hopes of spending Christmas only to myself. Consider yourself lucky, you've managed to join me on this one-time event. Heck, the price I paid for is totally worth it. Come here and try this." He urged you to look on the telescope, and to your surprise, you're taking in every aspect of the city in a bird's eye perspective. Everything you look at is really stunning. Like you never really imagined that perfection exists for real until tonight and you're experiencing it with a random guy whom you've only met an hour ago. Your eyes met his and you wished you aren't redder than a rotten tomato for looking like a lost deer caught on a headlight.

 "The view here is really pretty.” He gave you a smile, too charming for your own consumption.

“It really is.” He’s even prettier than the view. You can only sense your guy-o-meter raising for Mark. Good lord, is this a sign? Your mind is now ready to tick the ideal guy boxes on your list.

 “We shouldn't keep this New York style pizza from waiting while it is hot.” He chuckled, like the cute kid that he is. There is something with his unique laugh that you really don’t mind hearing at all. Is he older than me? Please, I don’t want to date someone younger than me.

 “Okay, sure kid.” You followed him as he sat on the ground in a dimly lit room radiating a romantic atmosphere under the starry and chilly skies of Seoul. This is not a date, but a friendly escape out of boredom planned by two single hearts on a Christmas eve. As if you’re two partners in crime, sitting on one of the highest skyscrapers in town, while sharing a box of pizza. It’s just that you aren’t Bonnie and neither he is your Clyde but you're loving the idea of him as someone whom you can rely on.

 “I’m older than you, silly.” The sight of a wine bottle behind him caught your attention and wondered where it came from. He noticed you eyeing the prize so he did the honor and poured you a glass of wine while you’re devouring your slice of pizza. You never imagined that eating pizza is too romantic and one for the books.

 “Any proof that you’re actually above 25? Cause you really look young. With that face, you can qualify for a student discount on public transports and still save money for your commute.” You want to make sure that he’s at least 5 years older than you. You prefer dating someone older than you because they always say that a guy's maturity is a year delayed for his age.

 “Trust me, I just know. I’m old enough to buy a house and enter into casinos, I guess.” He gave you a wink and you felt a gush of strong wind blew your senses away. He’s totally a Romeo and you took a swig of wine while observing him secretly.

 “So you’re a gambler? I might have been spending my time with some kind of a mafia leader and still have no clue about it.” He’s laughing at it again. I might have a talent with making cute guys laugh and that’s an asset I only discovered right now.

 “What, no! But my dad is a big spender in casinos. My duty is to look out for him and take him home before he could even bet our fortune with his leisure. I could always hear him say ‘It has gotta be all or nothing’. He’s born for taking risks and maybe I got that gene from him that’s why.” He stretched his legs and sat like he’s on a photoshoot. He’s not a model but he can beat the professional ones even without the need for screening.

 “What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken in your life so far?” You folded your legs as you watch him wonder with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He poured a glass for himself and you noticed that he used the same glass that you drink on.

 “I believe we’re taking risks everyday in our lives. The only difference is the distance of our leap towards taking or not taking chances at all. Like when you’re playing a game, everything starts with equal opportunities. It’s a race to the witch mountain. The first one to gamble takes it all. You gotta be the predator of every tournament and you gotta be the last one standing in a survival of the fittest. If you’re brave enough to take the earliest start, you can use that advantage to ace your end game. It’s all about timing and investing. Win or lose streak. There is no such thing as a grey area when it comes to taking risks. You don’t get to tie with anybody. Either you’ll win or lose. You just have to trust your instincts and roll your dice like everyday is your last day on earth. If I go for something, I go all in. No half-baked decisions. Because my father taught me that risks equates to rewards and I’m all up for the extremes of both worlds. That’s the one thing I’m best at. I know how to play the game nice and fair because I know how to measure the corners of a square and even the distance around the circle which is not visible to the naked eye. After all, he considers me as his lucky charm. That explains my presence to his endless casino nights. And he hardly ever loses if I’m with him. Sure, Pops are probably waiting for me at our doorstep in LA right now. Too bad, his son is on the other side of the world, taking his own risk of a lifetime.” You left with no words to say. He’s too deep, a food for the soul. Guys like him are the ones that can be displayed in museums. He’s a delicate art and nobody should be allowed to touch him but the curator. And you’d want to take that role.

 “What if you lose? If you go all in and you lose everything all at once? Have you experienced it already?” you asked, admiring the tiny mole sitting under his left eye. You decided to take your second glass of wine.

 “The best thing about losing is that you’ve tried. I don’t take failures as an excuse for not trying again and taking another risk the next day. If I lose, so what? That only means you’re brave because you grow stronger with every fall that you take. Like a bamboo tree, it only bends but it doesn’t break. Life is all about swimming against the current of uncertainties and finding yourself floating on top of your insecurities.” As if he’s summarizing all the lessons in life, you’d always want to go for the front seat. He’s a walking self-help book, and maybe Mark Manson’s book of ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ would have to sit longer in my shelf for the meantime. I got a risk-taker author Mark, right here and I got nothing to worry about.

[btsqualityy]

All I Ask

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warnings: discussions of the members enlisting (it’s a big part of the story so don’t read this if that triggers you), fingering, oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, fluffy sex, creampie

“You definitely know how to throw a party Y/N-ah,” Hobi smiled as he walked towards the front door of your apartment.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to feel my legs tomorrow morning from how much we danced tonight,” Jimin whined, making you laugh out loud.

“Well, I’m glad that you guys had fun,” you giggled.

“Definitely a great way to send our leader off right,” Jin smiled sadly. 

“I think so too Jin,” you agreed. All of the members stopped to give you quick hugs on their way out, with Taehyung and Jungkook promising to come take you out for ice cream in two days’ time to help cheer you up.

“Are you coming Namjoon-ah?” Yoongi asked when he noticed that Namjoon wasn’t following them out of the door.

“Uh, I’m gonna stay and help Y/N clean up hyung,” Namjoon told him.

“Hm, alright. We’ll see you back at home,” he smiled before turning and walking out of your house, shutting the door behind him. You then sighed heavily as you looked around at your apartment that had been destroyed by the numerous party goers that had been there only 45 minutes before.

“Well, I guess we better get started huh?” You said as you patted the side of Namjoon’s body, moving away from him to go grab a few trash bags from your kitchen. Once you had them and walked back into the living room, you saw Namjoon collecting the many soju bottles and cups that littered every flat surface.

“I can’t thank you enough for throwing this party for me Y/N-ah,” Namjoon spoke up as you held one of the trash bags open for him, watching as he dumped the bottles and cups inside.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me Joon,” you told him for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. “I told you, I was happy to do it.”

“But you didn’t have to and I really appreciate it,” he replied. 

“K-Pop’s best leader deserves a great send off before doing his mandatory military service right?” You smiled, feeling tears threatening to well up in your eyes but you shook your head and took a deep breath before walking away from Namjoon, which made him frown deeply.

“Yeah,” he murmured quietly, watching as you walked over to the opposite side of the room and began to collect some of the silly string that had gotten sprayed at one point throughout the night. The two of you then continued to clean up, the silence hanging between you becoming so deafening that you swore you could feel your ears ringing. You and Namjoon had been friends for a few years now, having randomly met each other on one of Namjoon’s many bike rides by the Han River. He had managed to run over something sharp which caused one of the wheels on his bike to catch a flat, and you had just happened to know of a short term way to fix it so that he could make it back home.

From that point forward, the two of you had been insanely close. You loved how smart he was, and how he always seemed to know the right thing to say in order to make you feel better or to reassure you. On the flip side, Namjoon loved how imaginative you were and how you always let your heart and how you were feeling lead your way, instead of depending on intellect like he often did. The two of you seemed like opposites sometimes, but he was your favorite person. And your favorite person was going off to the military for a year and a half tomorrow.

“Y/N-ah?” You heard him call softly, and you removed yourself from your thoughts and looked over at him, only to jump back in surprise when you realized that he had managed to sneak up behind you while you were distracted. 

“Don’t sneak up on me like that,” you chastised him softly and he couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you backwards so that your back was flush to his chest as he set his chin on the top of your head. “What are you thinking about up there?”

“About you,” you replied honestly. “About you leaving.”

“I figured,” he hummed.

“Aren’t you scared?” You wondered, finally asking the question that had been on your mind for the past few weeks. “I mean, you’ve acted so calm all night and as if it’s no big deal.”

“It’s not as if I’m gonna be fighting or anything,” he sighed. “It’s mostly gonna be desk work.”

“But you still have to go through training,” you pointed out and Namjoon just grunted in response. “Joon,” you called when he didn’t offer up another answer.

“Y/N-ah, what do you want me to say?” You felt him shrug behind you. “It’s something that I have to do, regardless of if I’m scared or not.”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. “I guess...it’d just be nice to know if you’re...as scared as I am.”

“Oh Y/N-ah,” Namjoon said as he placed his hands on your shoulders, pushing them so that you turned around to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were feeling like this?”

“Because,” you sighed, trying to keep your tears from spilling over. “I didn’t want to worry you. You’re getting ready to leave for at least a year and a half with only a few breaks and I didn’t want to make things harder for you.”

“Jagi,” he muttered, placing his hands on the sides of your neck and leaning down so that his forehead was placed against yours. Your breath hitched in your throat, both at the nickname and the intimate way that he was touching you. “You’re too damn caring.”

“I know,” you chuckled, bringing your hands up and letting them rest on the sides of his body. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, just taking in each other’s presence and trying to memorize the feeling of each other’s touch.

“I am afraid of one thing,” Namjoon spoke up and you opened your eyes to look at him, even though he still had his closed.

“What is it?” You asked and his eyes opened, his brown orbs staring intently into yours. 

“Of leaving things unfinished here at home.”

“What do you mean?” You asked and Namjoon moved his hands up from your neck to your cheeks, using his thumbs to softly run across the apples of your cheeks.

“You know as well as I do,” he said knowingly and you sighed heavily. You and Namjoon had always had this unspoken tension between the two of you, but you just figured that it was a natural byproduct of having so much in common and getting along so well. It should only make sense that you had some type of feelings towards him, right?

“Hey,” he whispered, breaking you out of your thoughts once again as you looked up at him. “I love you. You know that. I always have I think.”

“Joon,” you whimpered, the tears that you had been trying so hard to keep at bay finally spilling over, rolling down your cheeks and onto Namjoon’s fingers. You shook your head rapidly, almost not being able to believe that this moment had come and was actually happening. 

“Do you Y/N?” Namjoon wondered anxiously, searching your face for any answers. “Please tell me.”

“Of course I love you too Joon,” you admitted through your tears, and Namjoon couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his lips. “I just...I never thought we’d actually say it. I’m more than happy just being your best friend.”

“And I feel the same way,” he assured you as he wiped your tears. “But I’ve been thinking about it lately, with me leaving tomorrow and all. And tomorrow isn’t promised,” he said and your eyes widened and he couldn’t help but to chuckle at your reaction.

“Calm down, I meant what I said about the desk work,” he laughed. “But I mean that in a general sense. We’ve been playing pretend with how we feel about each other for years now because we’ve both been scared of ruining our friendship and losing each other.”

“Yeah,” you nodded in agreement. “I never want to lose you Joon.”

“I don’t wanna lose you either baby,” he smiled and the pet name made your heart skip a beat. “But the more that I thought about it, I didn’t want to regret not saying anything. I’d rather....risk telling you and finding out that you actually feel the same than to just wonder ‘what if’, you know?” 

“I get it,” you laughed through your tears. “But what do we do now? I mean, I don’t want anybody else but you leave tomorrow.”

“We don’t have to think about that tonight if you don’t want to. I just wanna, stay with you tonight,” Namjoon whispered. “As something more than just your best friend. That’s all I ask.”

“And what is that ‘something more’?” You wondered and the soft smirk on his face told you everything that you needed to know. Wordlessly, Namjoon leaned down and kissed you passionately, making you squeak in surprise. You quickly relaxed into the kiss though, gripping his shirt in between your fingers as your lips moved in sync with his. You felt his tongue prod against your lips and you automatically opened your mouth, moaning as his tongue found yours and tangled with it.

“Y/N,” he murmured against your mouth. “If you don’t want to go any further than this, you have to tell me.”

“No, I want to” you shook your head, looking up at him with a small pout.

“Here,” he said as he took his hands off of your face and held the right one out to you, which you took with no hesitation. “Come with me.” He then turned around and began to walk out of the living room and you followed behind him. You were confused as to where he was leading you at first until he began walking down the hallway that led to your bedroom and you felt your pulse quicken in response. Once he got to your bedroom door, he pushed it open and stepped inside, waiting for you to follow behind him before he shut the door.

“I want us to do this right,” he explained as he set his hands on your cheeks again. “Want you to be comfortable when I make love to you for the first time.”

“Oh, making love?” You teased him and he chuckled. “Is that we’re calling it?”

“That’s usually the term that you use when you love the person,” he replied, making you blush lightly. “Can I undress you?”

“Please,” you nodded and he smiled softly before reaching down and grabbing the hem of the blouse that you had on, pulling it up and over your head before chucking it to the side. You could see his throat visibly swallow harder than normal as he took in the sight of you in your black lace bra. 

“My beautiful girl,” he hummed and he didn’t even give you time to respond before he reached down and undid the button of your jeans, swiftly pulling them down your legs along with your underwear and you helped him out by stepped out of them and kicking them off to the side. 

“Can I take your clothes off now?” You asked and Namjoon laughed while nodding his head. He held his arms up as you lifted up the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it off of his body. You then reached down and undid his belt buckle, undoing the button of his jeans right after and pushing them down. Namjoon took over from there and pulled them down his legs, leaving his boxers on. 

“What are you doing?” You softly whined as you touched the hem of his boxers.

“Patience baby,” he shushed. “I just wanna eat you out first.” You felt your lower muscles clench at his words and you smiled at him. He put his hands against your shoulders, pushing you backwards until the back of your knees touched the edge of the bed and you fell back onto the mattress. 

“Scoot back a little and put your feet flat on the bed,” he instructed you and you did as he said, moving your body up towards where your pillows rested and placing your feet flat onto the bed, your heels ending up near your butt.

“Fuck, your pussy is so pretty baby,” Namjoon murmured in awe and you couldn’t help but to giggle at him.

“I would’ve refreshed on the shave job down there if I had known that we were gonna end up doing this,” you gasped as you felt one of his fingers trace the length of your slit. 

“Doesn’t matter. Still looks good enough to eat,” he smirked before diving in, immediately sucking your clit into his mouth. You cried out, your head immediately falling back against the bed in pleasure as he laved his tongue across your clit.

“O-oh, that’s good,” you stuttered, lifting your head in order to look down and watch him. You gasped though when you saw that he was already looking up at you, watching your reactions as he devoured you.

“Wanna see your face when I make you come,” he explained without you having to ask, taking his middle finger and slowly pushing it inside of you. He groaned when he watched how your pussy just swallowed the digit, enveloping it inside of your wet walls. “Look at that, you’re taking my finger so well. Do you play with yourself baby?”

“Joon,” you whined, and he chuckled as he continued to finger you. 

“Hey, your body is the one telling on you.”

“Yeah, I do sometimes,” you admitted.

“Do you think about me?” He questioned.

“Only you,” you replied instantly and he smiled at that. He then leaned down and placed his tongue on your clit again, making you moan loudly as he gave your pussy the full treatment. 

“Holy fuck Joon,” you sighed, feeling yourself inching closer and closer towards your orgasm. “That feels so fucking good.”

“Mm,” he moaned against you and the vibrations on your clit felt fucking amazing. He pushed his fingers deeper and hooked them inside of you, making you choke on air.

“I’m gonna come,” you warned as you let your eyes flutter shut but they immediately popped back open when he took his mouth off of you and took his fingers out of you. “What the fuck?”

“I want you to come around my cock,” he said as he stuck his middle finger into his mouth, sucking his finger clean and your pussy clenched at the sight. He pushed his boxers down and your mouth literally water a little bit at the sight of his cock. 

“You ready?” He asked, reaching out and letting the tips of his three middle fingers run down your slit before taking them and wrapping them around his cock, slicking it up with your arousal. 

“Beyond ready,” you smiled and he inched forward on his knees, lining his cock up with your slit before slowly pushing forward and sinking into you.

“Holy shit,” Namjoon drawled, pushing all the way into you until he had bottomed out. 

“Joonie,” you whimpered and he looked down at you, making eye contact.

“Fuck, you’re taking me so well Y/N-ah,” he whispered, pulling his hips back and slowly pushing into you again.

“I love you,” you gasped as you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“I love you too baby,” he replied as he began to steadily thrust into you. “God, I’ve been dreaming about this.”

“Really?” 

“Of course,” he muttered as he fucked into you harder, making you gasp and pull him closer to you. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“G-gonna miss you t-too,” you stammered, your eyes threatening to flutter shut as you felt your orgasm building up again. The feeling of his skin against yours, the light sheen of sweat that adorned the both of your bodies, and Namjoon looking into your eyes the entire time caused your emotions to tumble over again and tears began to well up in your eyes. 

“What, what’s wrong?” Namjoon questioned as he slowed down his thrusts. You just shook your head, not trusting your voice but not wanting him to stop either. He moved to pull out of you but you reached down, placing your hands on his ass and pulling him back to you.

“Don’t,” you whimpered and Namjoon set his hands on the bed next to your head as he looked down at you. 

“Tell me why you’re crying then,” he requested and you just hiccuped, turning your head to look away from him. You wanted to tell him how you were feeling, that how much you loved him was literally overwhelming you but you couldn’t find the exact words to convey this to him. You just continued to cry underneath him, making him frown lightly.

“Is it this? And by this, I don’t mean just the sex,” he said and you turned your head to look up at him, looking into his eyes. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you whispered and he smiled before leaning down and pressing a soft to your nose.

“I know baby. I feel the same way, trust me,” he murmured as he resumed his thrusts, pushing slowly in and out of you but making sure to go as deep as he possibly could. “You’re my best friend. You’re the one that I want to run to whenever something good happens and whenever something bad happens. No one knows me like you do and you accept me for me. How could I not love you with my entire heart?”

“Joon,” you simpered, loud moans tumbling out of your mouth as you felt the belt around your abdomen tightening. Namjoon then buried his face into your neck, fucking you so deeply that you swore that you could feel him in your stomach.

“Please tell me you can feel it,” He pleaded and you felt his hips stutter, signaling that he was close to his orgasm. “Please.”

“I do, I feel it,” you sobbed. “Fuck, I’m coming!” You announced, your body immediately beginning to shake as he fucked you through it.

“Me too,” he groaned as he pulled his face out of your neck. “C-can I come inside?” He wondered and you nodded as you placed your hands on his cheeks.

“Make me yours Joon,” you said and that’s all it took before you felt his cum pump into you. 

“Holy fucking,” he gasped, his body stilling as he waited to stop coming. Once the last rope of cum had left his cock, he gently pulled out of you and laid down next to you.

“Come here,” he beckoned and you smiled softly as you moved over and laid your head on his chest and wrapped one of your legs around his. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his fingers lightly running back and forth across the skin there.

“Now I really don’t want you to leave,” you spoke up as you chuckled bitterly and Namjoon looked down at you with a small pout on his lips. 

“I know baby, I know,” he whispered soothing as he reached over with his free hand.

“How do you always know?” You wondered. “Like just now, when I couldn’t tell you how I was feeling.”

“That’s because I know you,” he smiled. “And I was feeling the same way so I get it. I’m just a little better at knowing the words to verbally express it. And I could also tell by the pout on your face that you were thinking about me leaving.”

“Our timing really sucks,” you pointed out. “We finally get together just for you to leave the next day.”

“Hey, stop thinking about tomorrow,” he said. “Let’s just enjoy each other tonight. Hell, maybe you can even give me some memories to use for when I’m gone and missing you.”

“I love you so much Namjoon,” you told him, wanting to make sure to tell him when he wasn’t inside of you or when you were crying.

“I love you too Y/N-ah,” he replied before kissing your lips gently. 

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Wait For You (Good Omens One-Shot)

Summary: An angsty songfic for these ineffable bastards. I’m bad at summaries but it’s much better than it sounds.

Word Count: 1.8k+

Taglist: @bhmay @briarrose26

Ask to be on my taglist! Let me know if it’s for a specific fandom(s) or not. All of my fandoms are in my bio.

Warning(s): general angst, swearing (I think)

Inspirations: Wait For You by Tom Walker, the fact that Good Omens is my new obsession and is promptly taking over ever waking moment of my life, Great Omens (The Big One) by falsepremise on AO3, A Lot Of Love And A Little Bit Dumb by LollipopCop on AO3, Only A Bad Dream by Bookwormgal on AO3, This Fanart by @whiteleyfoster

A/N: Yeah so I write for Good Omens now, what are you going to do about it? I have nothing else to say other than enjoy and please let me know what you thought because every single comment makes my day and that is not an exaggeration in the slightest.

“Angel, I-” Crowley’s voice broke before he could even think of what he was going to say, but there was something in the way the pearly eyes of the angel in question shot up to look at him, something that understood everything that Crowley himself didn’t.

Aziraphale had known that this was going to happen at some point, but that didn’t make him any more prepared for the conversation he knew they were about to have. He nodded deeply, taking great care to not show any hint of annoyance or irritation, knowing that consciously or not, Crowley was looking for any sign that told him his feelings weren’t valid and that he should shut up right there and then. He moved so that he was sitting opposite Crowley instead of straddling him, pulling him into a hug that almost glowed from the love he poured graciously into it. He took it gratefully, throwing his arms around Aziraphale’s neck and burying his face into the crook of his neck. He held onto him for dear life as he sobbed, trying to be as quiet as possible from instinct. The angel cradled the back of his head as he did so, the painful break in his heart deepening with each second that passed; he wasn’t sure if it was from the tiny sobs that escaped his mouth or the fact that they were barely audible. He didn’t even want to think about why he felt the need to stay silent.

Once he’d started, he just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard he tried. Every time he thought he had his emotions buried down, they would resurface when he was reminded of how soft Aziraphale was, and he meant that both figuratively and literally. He couldn’t silence the voice in his head that screamed at him that he didn’t deserve this he didn’t deserve this he didn’t deserve this, repeating over and over again like some morbid mantra.

Despite everything that he was, there was something inside of him, something fuzzy and warm and alien, something he hadn’t felt any remnant of since before the Fall. It terrified him because deep down he knew what it was. It was the sensation of butterflies in your stomach, and your heart racing at a greyhound’s speed, and the sinking realisation that hit you like a ton of bricks that you only got when it was far too late and you were in too deep. It was quite possibly the only thing that united each and every human on God’s green earth.

Love.

Or the closest thing a demon could experience. And that was exactly what terrified Crowley so much, demons couldn’t love, shouldn’t love. He knew that, Aziraphale knew that, everyone knew that. It was one of the only things both Heaven and Hell agreed on, and they were few and far between. For millennia, it had been cruelly drilled into his head, and everyone else’s heads for that matter. So how the Heaven could Aziraphale be so blind? His angel was oblivious at the best of times, but he wasn’t an idiot. Was he just playing dumb for the sake of a love that couldn’t happen? Or was this all some sick game, carefully fabricated to mess with the demon’s head?

But Crowley held on tighter to his angel and the squeeze he got in return destroyed all of those fears in an instant. How could he ever imagine Aziraphale being that cruel? Sweet Aziraphale who never questioned, just acted as he saw best. No, this wasn’t his fault.

“Crowley,” he murmured, voice soft as the nonchalant clouds above them but still managing to make Crowley flinch slightly. Aziraphale must have felt it for his next words were even gentler, even slower, “Darling, you need to talk to me so I can help you.”

Crowley swallowed thickly as he felt the tears begin to subside slightly, “What if you can’t help me, angel?”

Aziraphale pulled away so he could look him in the eyes, any remainders of his heart shattering when he was met with a despair so intense, he struggled to maintain eye contact. However, he persisted; he wasn’t going to give up on him that easily, “Don’t be silly,” he carefully stroked the side of his face, brushing his hair out of the way, “Of course I can help you. I might not be able to fix everything, but it’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

“It’s not your problem to deal with, that wouldn’t be fair on you,” he cast his eyes down as he smiled sadly.

“It became my problem when I realised how much this was hurting you,” he said as firmly as he could without startling Crowley, “I can’t guarantee that I’ll understand, but we can figure this out together. You don’t have to be on your own.”

Even though he didn’t need it, he took a deep breath and, after a moment or two, he said, “This terrifies me, whatever this even is. We’re an angel and a demon, how is this ever going to work? I don’t want to put you in danger because I’m too selfish to stop this before it starts. Because if it does, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

“Who says this needs to be stopped?” he suggested.

“Heaven! Hell! I don’t know what they’ll do to you if they find out. For your sake, I can’t risk it.”

The angel shook his head at his defeated tone, “I don’t understand how you can call yourself selfish when you’re putting yourself through all this just to protect me,” he sighed, “You do realise that it scares me too, right?”

Crowley looked up at him in confusion, “You’re scared?”

“Of course I’m scared, darling,” he said sympathetically, “But that doesn’t mean I want to give this up,” he paused for a moment, “If you think about it, everything happens for a reason. The Almighty wouldn’t have let us bump into each other over and over again for millennia, and She wouldn’t have let us get to where we are now, if She didn’t want this to happen.”

“So, are you saying we were meant to be?” he raised an eyebrow sceptically, looking as though saying those words caused him a great deal of discomfort.

“Perhaps,” he shrugged, infinitely relieved that Crowley was starting to revert back to his usual self, “But there’s something else, isn’t there? I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. Something else is worrying you, what is it?”

Crowley found himself almost cursing Aziraphale’s intuition, but deep down he knew that he’d much rather do it this way than having to bring it up himself. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right, you almost always are.”

He let a small smile appear but quickly wiped it away, “What is it, darling? And take your time, I’m not going anywhere,” he added when he saw the hesitancy on Crowley’s face.

“I don’t deserve you,” he admitted quietly, “Whatever you’re trying to do for me, I’m not worth it.”

“Whoever told you that? Who’s made you feel like you’re not worthy of being loved…” he trailed off as the realisation sunk in. Maybe no one had ever outright told him he didn’t deserve good things, but the prejudice that Aziraphale himself had carried all these years, every little comment or snide remark; that amounted to a great deal. “Oh, Crowley, I’m so sorry-”

“No, no, no, no, no,” he rushed to assure him, pushing his own pain aside, “Angel, don’t apologise, it’s okay, you were right.”

“But I wasn’t right, Crowley,” he cried, “I’ve never been more wrong! Especially after everything you’ve been through, you deserve all the love in the world,” he paused for a moment before whispering, “I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you were unworthy of being loved.”

“Angel…” he murmured as he felt the stinging tears well up in his golden eyes again, desperately trying to brush them away.

Aziraphale clasped his hand around Crowley’s wrist gently, bringing his hand away from his face and kissing it lightly, “That prejudice I carried, I promise that it was never really aimed at you. You’ve always been different, deep down I’ve known that since Eden. Something’s always been different about you. I haven’t quite been able to put my finger on it for a long time, but I know what it is now. What separates you from everyone I’ve ever met.”

“What is it?” he asked softly, listening intently to everything his angel had to say.

“Love, my dear. The love I sense from you isn’t quite like anything I’ve ever felt before, but it’s familiar somehow. Homely might be a better word for it,” he mused, more to himself than to anybody else.

His brows furrowed in confusion, “But I’m a demon,” he countered, stressing on the last word as if that explained everything perfectly, “Demons can’t love, I thought that was the whole point of – well, you know…” he said, leaving Aziraphale to fill in the blanks; the last thing he needed right now was to be reminded of The Fall.

“Yes, well, your aura says otherwise. I’ve no idea if it’s just you or not, but I think the important part is that it is you. You’ve had love in your soul for six thousand years, you’ve shown it every time you’ve stopped me from getting discorporated or just stopped by for lunch. I think that makes you deserving of being loved in return, don’t you?”

Crowley looked at him blankly for a second before coming to his senses, “You’re just saying that to try and make me feel better.”

“Am I? Well how about this,” he contemplated what he was about to impart for a second, “What if I was to tell you that I too have had that love for six thousand years? What would you say then?”

“You deserve the world, angel,” he said immediately.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I would feel the same way about you?”

Crowley didn’t say anything to that, his mind had completely given up on trying to conjure up a response or at least rationalising everything that he’d just heard. His head was at a loss but his heart? His heart was swelling with each passing second with love for the angel sat opposite him, so he did the only thing that made any sense at the time: he kissed him. It lacked the passion and the drive from earlier that evening, but adoration and a strange kind of relief stood in its place, towering above any other feeling he’d ever felt. It sealed the deal between the two of them, surrounding them with a love that shone brighter than Aziraphale’s own halo, that burned harder than the fire behind Crowley’s eyes, that beat louder than their hearts would if they had them, synchronised and perfectly in time with one another. It was the bond that had kept their souls intertwined since that first conversation in the Garden of Eden. It was an all-encompassing love that almost made anything in its near vicinity bask in its glow, warm and welcoming and oh-so-familiar.

It was the overwhelming realisation of yes, this is where I’m meant to be, this is what I’ve been searching for.

It was home.

[imalwaysintune]

A Compulsion

So do y’all remember the YouTube video where Ben Meredith reads out stuff in Elias’ voice? yeah this is based on that moment. you know the one

(in case you don’t actually know it’s the ‘read that statement jon… nice and slow’ complete with link!)

Enjoy!

————————————

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean even if he were to tell you, I can’t send you in there with a good conscience,” Martin was almost pleading with Jon at this point. He didn’t want to see Jon ruined by Elias, especially considering what they had just learned; exactly the way Gertrude Robinson had died.  

Jon waved off Martin’s concern with a flick of his hand. “I’m not risking anyone else Martin. At least I know he’s not going to kill me.” Jon replied, his tone much more sure than he actually felt.

“Just… please, at any sign of danger, get yourself out of there. The truth isn’t worth anything if it means your life,” Martin said, sadness lacing his voice with every word.

Oh Martin, Jon thought just as sadly, If only you knew.

The trek to Elias’ offices felt like forever. It was at this moment that Jon had a strange thought. He wished to be taller. He was under the average height for a man his age, and was made to feel small by many people in his life. He wanted to be the intimidating one for once, but the thought made him chuckle. 

When he reached Elias’ door, a thick feeling settling in the space in front of the looming door. He’d never felt it before, but it was almost… welcoming. He placed his hand on the knob and turned quickly, knowing Elias would have Seen his coming.

Just as he predicted, Elias was sitting at his desk, fingers laced in an almost ironically villainous way. Jon had the strangest urge to laugh once again, but thought it was best he kept it to himself. Instead, he walked himself over to Elias’ desk and sat down in the chair opposite him.

Elias only smiled. A calm, rational smile that spoke not of what Jon knew. It almost made Jon angry, that someone could be so calm when they’re figured out to be a murderer. But the thick sensation hadn’t lifted, and it felt like all of Jon’s emotions were muted. Instead of waves filling his head, it was syrup, thick and slow.

He began to speak, to tell the story that he had figured out after years of research and failed attempts. How he figured out about Elias’ murder of Gertrude. Of Leitner. Yet he still didn’t seem phased. Jon was pouring his heart out and accusing this vile man pf murder and yet Elias never wiped that smug look of his face.

Soon Jon’s ramble came to a halt, and he was exhausted. His head felt like it was brimming to the edge with a thick sludge and he felt himself losing consciousness. He fought so, so hard against the black on the edges of his vision. He tried to call out to somebody. Anybody. Martin…

But Martin didn’t come. No one did as Jon finally lost the battle and he was consumed by the darkness.

When Jon finally awoke, the first thing he noticed was the pounding in his head. He felt like someone was beating against the inside of his skull. For all he knew, someone was. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t form a single thought. It was so thick, like he was swimming in a bog and couldn’t get his head above the filth for long enough to catch a breath. Was he in Hell?

Finally, after what felt like hours, he heard a voice speak through the fog in his head, clearer than spring water rolling down the mountains.

“You know, Jon, I quite enjoyed your little power play there. Made me feel more alive than I have felt in… awhile.” He couldn’t see him, but Jon knew he was grinning. The sick bastard.

“I hope you find comfort in the fact that you were entirely correct in your accusations. Yes, I killed Gertrude, and then I killed Leitner a few years later. It happens in my line of work, you see. Sometimes we must put others down for our own ends, Jonathan.” Elias purred, his voice bringing the ground ever closer to Jon’s feet. 

The fog finally, finally, started to clear and Jon could see out of his own eyes once again. He could form coherent thoughts, could feel the surface he was laying on  dig into his back. He blinked rapidly at the space around him. It was somewhere he’d never seen before, though that thought didn’t surprise him.

He searched the room for Elias slowly, and found him at the opposite end, leaning lazily along the wall. He was staring at Jon with this look of amusement that enraged Jon, and he tried to stand. But only resistance met him as his wrists and ankles were held by strong rope. He realized that he’d been strapped to a couch, and the rope binding him was tied tightly. He wasn’t going to be able to get them off himself.

“Are you planning to kill me?” Jon tried to speak evenly, but even he could hear the horrible shaking of his voice. It was audible as he spoke the words, and even as he tried to draw air back into his lungs. But the sludge was back, and it was surging throughout his entire body.

“Silly Archivist,” Elias spoke. “I do not wish to kill you, and I don’t want you thinking you’re a martyr. You were simply a fool to try and confront me yourself. Now no one knows you’re here, and they’re freaking out looking for you.”

“Am I still in the Archives?” Jon asked, cursing himself for sounding so scared.

Elias quickly pushed off from the wall and walked with purpose towards Jon. He hated the way his body involuntarily whimpered, fear grabbing hold of his heart and lungs and constricting him. Weirdly enough, Jon welcomed the sensation as it cleared the sludge in his body enough to see Elias. To really see Elias.

He was wearing something completely different than what he had been wearing before Jon had passed out. In fact, they were more unique than any clothes Jon had seen the man in before. He was wearing what at first looked like a butler’s costume. He was wearing a full green piece suit, topped with a waistcoat that made him look like an 1800′s steampunk professor.

Jon was shocked, but his neck was hurting to the point he was seeing stars. His head slammed back down onto the couch and it felt so heavy. Soon Elias’ choice of outfit seemed the least of his concerns. He felt the urge to scream as his body betrayed him. After a few minutes of Jon mentally beating himself up, certainly not for the first time in his life, Elias spoke and brought him out of it.

“No, Jon, you’re not in the Archives anymore. You’ve been out for a week, actually. I thought you might not actually pull through after all, but alas, here you are. Alive and well. Well, maybe not well, but certainly alive.” Was Elias rambling?

“What could you possibly want with me, Elias. I didn’t even have a plan after I told you what I knew. I just wanted to let you know that I found out everything,” Jon stared up at the ceiling as he said this, but soon felt a weight sink into the couch next to him. Elias’ face appeared in his vision.

“Little Archivist,” Elias cooed. “You really have no idea about any of this, do you? I thought you’d be a little further along in this process, but I guess I was wrong. For how much better of an actual archivist you are, you certainly aren’t up to par with learning as quickly as Gertrude.

“You see, I’m hungry, Jon. I feed my patron as it feeds me, but it hasn’t nearly been enough. So you will be my food, and I will force you to satisfy me in any way I choose. Just remember that it could be worse. I could eat you whole.”

Elias said the last word with such conviction that it rattled Jon to his bones. He could do nothing but stare at Elias as pure shock captured his body. What did he mean, what was he talking about. He didn’t get those answers as Elias loosened the ropes on Jon’s wrists and sat him upright on the couch.

Jon’s bones ached, and he heard multiple pops as he was dragged upwards. He almost cried out as the pain in his head became unbearable, but he managed to bite his tongue before he gave Elias the satisfaction. When the pain finally subdued enough that he could open his eyes, he looked at Elias in bafflement. 

He looked tired, could see circles under his eyes that he has not seen just moments before. Or maybe it was because he hadn’t thought to look for them, so his brain failed to relay the message. In all honesty, Elias looked horrible. More horrible than me, Jon thought.

Elias reached under the couch for something that Jon couldn’t see, but it seemed heavy from the way he was struggling. When the box finally came into Jon’s view, it looked normal, harmless. Elias quietly removed the box after a seconds consideration and sighed, as if it was a great pain for him to do so.

The box was filled with papers, the type of paper that the Archives have to take down statements. Even in Jon’s muddled state, he could tell the statements were powerful, though he didn’t exactly know how. All he knew was that the waves that had become almost familiar were washing the sludge away and he could fully think again. 

Even though a part of Jon wanted to fight, wanted to push and shove his way out of whatever situation he had gotten himself into, a larger part of him wanted to know what was about to happen. He craved the Knowledge of whatever was in the box Elias held, and he wasn’t keen on ruining the chance that had been handed, well, pounded into him. 

His eyes were locked on the box, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Elias smirking. He made a mental note to curse himself later after this was all over for giving Elias exactly what he wanted.

Elias grabbed a statement from the top of the box and held it out to Jon, gesturing that he should take it. But he hesitated. He didn’t know what he was getting into, and he wanted Elias to explain beforehand. At least, until Elias spoke.

“Read that statement, Jon. I know you want to,” Elias spoke quietly, his voice low and throaty. 

The rope around Jon’s wrists barely had the slack to allow him to grab the paper. Jon felt tired. So tired and he just wanted to curl into a ball and be held. By whom, he didn’t know. A name floated at the edge of his consciousness but he couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the paper in his hands to remember what it was. 

And he began to read. Losing himself in the statement, barely registering as Elias… drank up every word that Jon was saying.

And he didn’t read just one. They sat there for hours as Elias made Jon read every single statement. He felt the energy being poured from him and flowing into Elias, but he was helpless to stop it. The statements were too powerful, his physical form too weak right now. 

When the box was finally empty, Elias spoke for the first time in hours. 

“Just like that, my little Archivist,” Elias cooed once more, before Jon’s body finally granted him comfort and threw himself into a fitful sleep. 

Jon woke up to the sound of a steady beeping and snoring. He jerked up, panicking while checking his wrists for rope he knew wasn’t there. The snoring figure in the corner sat up with a jolt and rushed over to Jon’s side.

“Jon! Oh thank goodness, you’re okay,” Martin said, grabbing Jon’s hand with a strength he could barely handle but was grateful for.  It grounded him.

“Martin, what happened? Where am I?” The voice that left Jon’s throat didn’t sound like his own, breathy and weak.

“Jon, you’re in the hospital. You went missing for a week before we found you in the tunnels under the Archives. You’ve been in a coma for three weeks,” Martin sounded like he was on the verge of tears as he explained everything to Jon. “Where were you, Jon. You couldn’t have been in the tunnels for the entire week.”

Jon tried to explain, but when he tried to cast his memory back, the last thing he remembered was talking to Martin about what he’d found out. He no longer held the memory of Elias or the statements. He looked Martin in the eye and shook his head. “I have no idea, I’m sorry Martin,” He said quietly.

“No, Jon, don’t you apologize to me. Everyone is guessing it’s Elias, but I was too worried about you to care about him. I’ve been here everyday with you since you were admitted. I’m almost starting to like the hospital coffee,” At this, Jon smiled. “Almost.”

“Thank you, Martin. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I don’t know either, Jon. Let’s get you out of here.”

————————————————–

This one was honestly very hard to write as it was literally based on a joke premise. But i got inspired and so here we are. 

Please feel free to shoot me an ask with any requests or anything!

Thank you so much for reading this and i’ll see you on the next one!

(Also! I wrote an nsfw version: link!)