#if anyone has any ideas they want to respectfully share on this topic that might be cool

[lovelyjasmari]

Pomefiore Endnote - Perfectionism, Apathy and the True Tragedy of Book 5

Warning: Long post and pic heavy.

So…this is something of a continuation of my last twst reaction post, where I analyzed the Absolutely Beautiful dance video. I ended the post by saying that the true tragedy was not that NRC Tribe lost but that Vil could be convinced he was an inferior performer compared to Neige. Now I’m going to expand on that…in excruciating detail. XD

In all seriousness, though, I'm not really sure if I'd call this an analysis in the traditional sense. Maybe more like a long-winded rant based on canon observations. But all the same, I’ve been grappling with this for the last year and a half since when Book 6 first dropped in EN. I’ve wanted to share my thoughts for a long time but decided against it because I acknowledge how contentious this topic is in the fandom and I prefer to keep my online space as drama-free as possible. I also didn’t want anyone to get the idea I’m attacking others when at most, I’m just being critical. 

But with the new story update imminent and it looking like it will be Pomefiore-centric, I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t share this soon, I never will. My timing is admittedly ass but I think it would be worse if I share this AFTER the update and you’re about to understand why.

So before we dive in, disclaimer. This is going to cover the end of Book 5 and the first few chapters of Book 6 and my in-depth opinions on both. There will be mentions of trauma/mental illness and some very blunt (but honest) Rook criticism. But please keep in mind, that while I have my own interpretation of the twst characters and their respective arcs, I am not Yana and ultimately, my opinions are just that. Opinions. Everything I say is subjective at best but a lot of what’s coming up is based on a blend of canon observations as well as my own specific, personal experiences as someone with very similar life experiences as Vil and has been dancing for most of her life.  

Still, these are just opinions and I have no intention to offend anyone. But if you don’t like reading negative things about Rook or take issue with this general way of thinking, I HIGHLY advise you to ignore this and respectfully (or quietly) agree that we disagree.

When I wrote the greater bulk of this, it was around when Book 6 dropped in EN. A year has passed since then and I’ve had time to think more about my opinions here and, to a greater extent, how I feel about Book 5. This may sound strange but I feel that Book 5 is both the best and worst part of twst’s main story to date. I really like how it touched upon something that isn’t really isn’t talked about much; how we as a society both admire beauty but also vilify it. Vil’s primary dilemma is how he is wrongfully villainized for his beauty, wealth, and harsh personality, despite subverting expectations of cruelty at every turn. Ironically, when the fandom mischaracterizes him as vain, cruel, classist, racist and the like, they are falling into that same literary trap. Proving the point of his arc.

And as much as I hated the ending from an emotional point of view, I actually love it as well, ironically for reasons that might not have been intentional. What I hated, mostly, was the fandom’s response. There was a great opportunity here for some deep discussion regarding society’s views on beauty, how constant trauma causes us to internalize false perceptions of ourselves, and the rather fascinating/dangerous dynamic Vil has with his vice dorm leader. Instead, any interesting discourse has been lost in all the misinterpretations of Vil. To the point I wonder if we all actually read the same story. I’m disappointed in the fandom, but somehow not surprised either.

But regardless, Rook’s actions were extremely disquieting but not for the reasons you might think. There was nothing wrong with his decision but the way he went about it and how he (and Vil) tried to justify it really left such a nasty taste in my mouth and I gotta talk about it to get it out.

First I just want to commend Vil for his level of maturity and rationality regarding his overblot. Even when it was happening, not once has he tried to justify his actions and in fact it was his own guilt at his potential wrongdoing that ultimately caused it. His fear that in a brief, desperate attempt to be seen as not a monster, he became exactly that. Throughout Book 5, it is implied that Vil already sees himself as a villainous person and internalizes that image of himself almost with pride. But despite this false perception, his actions have always proven the opposite and it’s clear that Vil has always valued being altruistic, determined and just. And his guilt when he failed to meet his own standards was beyond compare.

I feel that this guilt sets Vil apart from the other overblots thus far. Most importantly, he apologized of his own volition and wasn’t forced to. That alone makes him stand out among the overblot characters and, to my mind, makes him the most compelling of them all. If I’m being completely honest, out of all those who have overblotted thus far, Vil has been the LEAST problematic even before his overblot. And the one instance where Vil displayed any “cruelty” beforehand is EXTREMELY subjective. (his treatment of Epel) But the fact that Vil has been the least problematic overblot student so far also makes him the most tragic. And makes what’s about to happen next all the more disturbing.

Interestingly enough, Jamil is correct about this but for the wrong reason and here comes the first point. There was no indication that the audience was anything but enthralled with NRC Tribe. And if Vil or any of the others made significant mistakes, because of Vil’s fame, I’m certain they would have been pointed out by magicam netizens. With the recent release of the Absolutely Beautiful mv over on twst jp, we now also have a visual to go off from. 

I talk about this more in a previous post but basically, yes, NRC Tribe’s performance wasn’t perfect, but based on what I saw, I would have expected A LOT worse considering the circumstances. The fact is all evidence points to the NRC boys giving a wonderful performance made all the more remarkable by the fact they were still able to perform after dealing with Vil’s OB not too long before. And the audience clearly thought so too if they were only one vote away from victory. 

To add to this point, when the other characters comment on the NRC Tribe’s performance, they make no mention of any noticeable errors. And when Crowley laments their defeat later, again, there’s no mention of any errors. Considering that Ambrose was pretty pretentious about RSA winning, I'm sure he’d mention that, too. 

Even further, one thing you learn from being on stage is that your audience rarely notices mistakes unless they are extremely obvious. You, as the performer, might notice, but you quickly learn not to draw attention to your errors and keep it moving. Now of course, the NRC characters could be biased because they want to defeat RSA. But considering the nature of a lot of them, I doubt they would lie so flagrantly. Especially Jack who is pretty no-nonsense even with the people he likes. And Malleus who seems pretty difficult to impress. So if their commentaries are to be believed, this shows that any errors made by the NRC Tribe were not noticeable. 

That Vil would think otherwise speaks to something far deeper and far more insidious. Stick a pin in that; we’ll come back to it soon enough.

Vil then goes on to explain to the boys that Neige and his friends worked just as hard and had their own struggles. That Neige grew up in an improvised environment and had to juggle acting obligations with household chores and helping out the dwarves. Again, it is extremely commendable that Vil is able to acknowledge this about this rival. It shows that his contempt for Neige was never as simple as “boo hoo people think he’s more beautiful than me” and he at least respects Neige’s efforts even if this explanation once again falls flat. 

Firstly, narratively speaking it doesn’t make sense that Vil is just finding out about Neige’s backstory now (likely from Rook) because I feel like he should already be aware. In fact, all through Book 5, I thought that he did know but didn’t care. Honestly, Neige’s backstory shouldn’t matter to Vil anyway and surprisingly, it’s Ace of all people who explains why.

Neige’s struggles might matter to his fans but at the end of the day if Neige cannot perform better than Vil, then that’s his own fault. There are many artists out there who have to deal with similar struggles but come out as phenomenal performers and yet Neige’s “best” basically consists of the twst equivalent of this meme. Precious, but cannot compare to all the sweat and tears Vil and his team were put through. 

There’s actually an interesting analysis floating around this hellsite about how Neige’s childish performance was actually an incredibly manipulative tactic and could have been intentional if he were a different character. I’m not gonna link it cause I don’t want to bring any heat to the op. But I will say that while I don’t think Neige intended to manipulate the audience with his cuteness, in the end, it did indeed work in his favor. And the fact that Vil thought to train Epel to weaponize his cuteness to defeat Neige indicates that he’s already no stranger to seeing such underhanded tactics in the industry he works in. In his beansday vignette, Vil mentions an actor he initially admired destroying one of his stage outfits. If Neige weren’t presented as so naive and twisted from a traditionally “good” character, his choice regarding his performance could be regarded as deliberate. Which is why Vil lamented that he and his team had been “outplayed”.

Back on topic, what I took away from this was that, once again, Vil’s hard work and determination count for nothing because of things he cannot control. Because he was born to wealth, because he didn’t have the same hardships, he doesn’t deserve the same consideration or sympathy as Neige. And his wealth and beauty once again put him in the position of villain to Neige’s hero. It’s a textbook case very common in media, like Sharpay opposing Gabriella in High School Musical. But what’s worse is that from all that we’ve seen of Vil, he could coast on his wealth, beauty and father's fame if he wanted to. 

Instead, he chooses to work hard and have his accomplishments come from his own merit. When anyone else in his situation could easily choose the opposite. And just from a personal standpoint, if I practiced day and night for a dance competition and ended up losing to someone under my level simply because they were cute and disenfranchised, I would feel extremely insulted. At the end of the day, Ace is correct and whatever struggles Neige and his team had, they were still inferior performers. 

And to add to this point, I believe that at some point Vil KNEW this even AFTER his OB. Despite his earlier anguish at never being able to perform innocent cuteness like his rival, once his mind was clearer, he was able to see that NRC Tribe’s performance was still technically better. He was able to see how the audience responded to Neige and still believed in himself as a better performer. I say this based on another scene earlier in book 5. 

Vil was undoubtedly in a very emotionally vulnerable place right after his overblot. He went to great lengths to conceal the aftereffects before going on stage to the point he collapsed as soon as he was alone. After going so long trying to hide them, his darkest, ugliest emotions were laid bare to his teammates and to himself. Manifesting in the worst way possible. And as a professional performer, if any errors were made, he would have been painfully aware of them.

And yet, despite having just dealt with the darkest moment of his life, Vil was still able to stand upon the stage until the very end and give the best performance he could. Against all odds, before a world that has wrongfully perceived him as evil and hideous for most of his life.

And despite knowing that Neige possesses all that he never can, it is strongly implied that Vil still chooses to vote for his own team. Meaning he saw the appeal in Neige’s performance and STILL knew that he did better. And I’d like to believe that even if Vil was aware of Neige’s backstory, he would have still made the same decision. It’s easy to be beautiful when everything is right and perfect in your world. But being able to smile even when you’re struggling and your heart is breaking is even more beautiful still. 

Sadly, Vil isn’t likely to realize this anytime soon and will continue to see his own mental struggles as not as valid or “ugly.” Now back to that original pin of thought, Vil will likely continue to believe that he didn’t deserve to win the VDC despite all evidence to the contrary. He’s likely to continue internalizing the false villainous image of himself as well. And for that we now must get to the crux of this matter.

At first glance, this statement doesn’t seem like much but when you look deeper, and look back at some of Rook’s own actions, this comes off as incredibly hypocritical and cruel. As we have seen from Vil’s backstory, he has dealt with untold hardships as well. But Vil’s anguish is more internalized than Neige’s and it’s very unlikely that he has ever really been open about how dehumanizing and hurtful his treatment has been. 

And from an outsider’s perspective, his problems aren’t as dire anyway. It’s just like Vil said, his life has been quite different from Neige’s. But mental trauma doesn’t know demographics and can affect anyone. The fact is what Vil has gone through is extremely traumatizing and comes from nothing beyond people wrongfully vilifying him for his beauty. Projecting their insecurities onto him from a very young age. It’s clear that what Vil has dealt with has fundamentally altered how he sees himself. 

But at the same time, what do you think would happen if Vil WAS more open about his frustrations? The dehumanizing effect and the bullying? The typecasting and prejudice thrown his way? And the feeling that nothing he does will ever be enough to break free from his villainous mold? What would happen if Vil were to be open about ANY of that? He would be mocked and shamed and perceived as shallow, petty and crying about nothing. Lowkey how many in the fandom already see Vil anyway. We as a society sadly don’t take mental illness as seriously as we should but when celebrities deal with it? It quickly becomes meme fodder and nowhere is this more obvious than on stan twitter. We are all guilty of feeding into it, whether we’re honest about it or not. 

Ironically, Vil’s mental struggles is one of the things that would make him more “relatable.” But the truth is that people would never accept that because society has a long history of trivializing the mental issues of celebrities because they seem so far removed from normal people. And then being surprised pikachu faced when they do something drastic to themselves. So Vil internalizes all of it because he knows he can’t be open about it. 

A person like him simply can’t be open about his hardships but HERE is the kicker: neither can Neige. He also has an image of perfection to uphold so it is likely he is also internalizing mental struggles of his own. Living and caring for seven others can’t be easy in addition to trying to grow his career. And if his deeper origins are anything like his Disney counterpart, how he came to live with the dwarves must have been traumatic as well. 

But here’s the difference: from Rook’s perspective, he is “better” at internalizing those ugly emotions than Vil is. After all, Neige is able to overcome all his struggles and still smile and not give hints to them, but when Vil finally buckled under all of his own trauma, we see what happened. 

There’s also the fact that since Rook and Neige attend different schools, Rook doesn’t have as close a seat to any of Neige’s more personal troubles. So it’s likely easier for Rook to project his own ideas of beauty onto Neige because from his perspective, he is perfect. He is beautiful. He is pure. Like the legendary singing princess Rook so reveres. He isn’t plagued with any of the ugly emotions that caused Vil to overblot. And if Neige DOES have ugly feelings or ugly trauma responses, Rook isn’t privy to them, so they clearly must not exist. 

I genuinely believe that THIS is what Rook meant when he stated Vil’s performance wasn’t as beautiful as Neige’s. I know he mentions another reason at the end of book 5 but in my mind, they are both one and the same. Whatever technical difficulties NRC Tribe had, they were still polished enough to garner enough votes that it was only Rook’s flawed ideology that sealed their fate. And throughout book 5, Rook is hinted at being aware of Vil’s internal struggles and yet still chose to stay silent. He frequently saw that Vil was struggling but tried to justify his silence by saying it wasn’t his place to interfere. 

But that is also untrue because we’ve seen time and again Rook is more than willing to stick his nose in Vil’s businesses. His labwear vignette is the most obvious example but there are plenty of others. In Book 6 Rook admits that his decision to go to the Isle of Woe was fully a selfish one. Leaving Pomefiore without leadership and potentially falling into chaos (the only dorm to have no clear leadership at all during the crisis) simply because he wanted to give Vil skin products that he really didn’t need. A few days without them wouldn’t do that much harm and Rook essentially placed Epel, Yuu and himself in great danger for a reason far more shallow than anything Vil has done in the name of beauty. 

He also admits that he would have been willing to drink the poisoned juice Vil gave to Neige for again, a pretty shallow (and extremely twisted) reason. If he’s willing to do that, he is more than capable of intervening in other matters on Vil’s behalf. And later in book 6, it’s revealed that Rook was originally a Savannaclaw student but made the very unprecedented decision to transfer to Pomefiore in part due to his fascination with Vil and desire to further study beauty under him. So Rook had EVERY opportunity to step in regarding his overblot. Even if Rook couldn’t be his “savior”, the fact that Vil would see that he at least had support could have gone a long way. 

But Rook’s silence is rather in keeping with his character and his own ideas about beauty. I find this quote very ironic based on how he and Vil are frequently misconstrued. The Pomefiore dorm leaders' views on beauty appear to be the opposite of each other. 

Vil can be extremely strict, harsh and can come off as critical at times, but he is never harder on someone than he is himself. He has shown time and again that he sees beautiful potential in anyone. And Vil is more than willing to share the spotlight with his NRC Tribe; build them up from scratch and give each of them the chance to show off their potential. Likely because he knows all too well what it means to be in the shadow of someone else. 

Even further, when we look at the dichotomy of a villain versus a hero, the main difference is how they respond to their personal pain. A villain takes their pain and says “the world hurt me so I’m gonna hurt the world”. While a hero says “the world hurt me and I’m not going to let it hurt others”. Up until his overblot, Vil has been the latter of these examples. He wants the best for those around them and while his methods might be difficult to understand, they always bear results. Vil can honestly see beauty in anything, even if he has to coax it out in his own way. 

Rook’s views on beauty however, all seem to be based upon the superficial and the evidence can be found in his Halloween vignette. There, he explains further how he grew to adore Neige and based on what he said, it sounded more like obsession than actual reverence. There’s also hints to this in his most recent birthday vignette as well. His ideas seem to be very fantastical, far removed from reality and so obsessive to the point that it actually affects his ability to be a good person. Such an obsession can sometimes make people oblivious to the world and in Rook’s case, often cause him to act out in ways that border on problematic. 

In his fixation, he stalks Leona and Jade, says some weirdly otherist shit to Malleus, harasses and assaults Ruggie, and places ridiculously high standards on both Vil AND Neige that rob them of their humanity. Rook saw firsthand how deeply Vil’s insecurities ran. He heard Vil cry and scream out how ugly he felt. He saw Vil’s anguish and despair firsthand and seeing all that, still chose to punish him because Vil’s lack of confidence made him unable to respond to his trauma in a beautiful way. Or at least in a way he could deem as beautiful based on his vapid description of the word. 

Rook will likely never be privy to any ugliness Neige has displayed so for him, the fantasy remains intact. And in chasing that fantasy, he betrays not just Vil, but his other teammates as well. Then has the audacity to try to justify it with bullshit ideology and sadly, because of Vil’s low opinion of himself, Rook succeeds. Vil holds Rook’s opinion so highly that he is able to take advantage of that and compel him (and the others) to see his point of view. And believe it or not, in chasing that fantasy, the NRC Tribe members were not the only ones Rook hurt. 

Neige might have been happy to have won but he was essentially rewarded for an inferior performance and robbed of an important lesson. One far more valuable than any “lesson” Vil had to learn. As mentioned before, even with all of his hardships, if what we saw in book 5 was the best Neige could do, that still means he is not as good a performer as Vil. If cuteness, nostalgia and warm fuzzy feels are the only thing Neige can offer, he could easily find himself struggling to remain in the entertainment industry as he ages. Not unlike many other former child stars in real life. 

Losing the VDC could have been a major wake-up call to Neige that if he wants to continue acting, he has to do better. People might not take him seriously when he’s still doing the cutesy bullshit ten years from now. But because he won, this will likely never cross his mind. Neige will learn nothing. 

Now before anyone begins writing up their comments about how Vil verbally stated that Rook was right, I’d like to bring up one final point: Vil agreeing with Rook was another trauma response. Internalizing Rook’s response because it is so in keeping with all he has been made to believe about himself, about Neige, and how it has all now been “confirmed” by his overblot. From his point of view, Rook has no reason to lie to him. 

But just because Vil states that Rook was correct, does not mean that it’s true. Despite being one of the more positive characters in the game and being twisted from a “good” character, Rook is just as morally grey as everyone else in the twst cast and just as capable of dubiousness. And this would not be the first time something like this has occurred between Vil and Rook. Once again, I bring up Vil’s labwear vignette. Particularly this exchange here:

Okay, so beyond the general tactlessness of telling Vil he’s gaining weight in spite of knowing how such a statement would affect him, what Rook is basically suggesting to him is that he cannot trust anyone but him. Not even his own senses. That for all of his perceptiveness, Vil is incapable of seeing himself accurately. Though he initially does not believe it, Vil eventually does accept  Rook’s statement despite knowing it was bullshit twenty seconds before. 

Later on, Vil mentions to Trey that Rook’s only crime is being too blunt and perceptive. It’s true that having another point of view is important at times, but the level of trust Vil has in Rook’s opinion can also be dangerous if he can convince Vil to doubt himself so easily. Theirs is an interesting dynamic but it also has potential to be extremely toxic and detrimental to Vil. At best, Rook gives him useful insight and pushes him to be the best he can be. But at worst, Rook contributes to Vil’s insecurities, enables his more toxic tendencies and his fawning of Neige feeds into his obsession to be the fairest one of all in the worst way possible. Rook can’t be completely oblivious to this. It would be such an easy thing for him to take advantage of Vil’s doubt in himself and value/dependency on his opinion. 

Which is exactly what Rook does. As much flack Vil gets in this fandom for being critical and harsh to others, he never criticizes someone harder than he will criticize himself. This is a person who has grown up in the spotlight and has had to maintain an image of perfection for most of his life.  A person who gave up one of his favorite condiments because of the damage it caused to his skin. A person who has so deeply internalized the villainous image people have projected on him that he wears it almost as a badge of honor. And because he holds himself to such a high standard and already internalizes a lot of toxic beliefs about himself, it makes perfect sense that Vil would agree with Rook. In his current way of thinking, Vil has no reason to disagree with Rook because from his point of view, Rook has always been honest to him and his overblot already proved he was unworthy of victory anyway. 

Of course Vil must be gaining weight. How could he possibly be objective regarding himself? How vain he must be. And how could Vil possibly be objective regarding his VDC performance and still vote for himself after such an ugly trauma response? He can’t trust his judgment, he can’t even trust his own senses. How arrogant and pathetic Vil must be if he can still vote for himself in good conscience after witnessing the pure wholesomeness of Neige Leblanche. Someone who would never overblot. Thankfully, he has Rook to humble that arrogance and tell him what he needs to know. Even if he’s tactless about it. 

I mean, Vil literally ran looking for a scale immediately after Rook’s comments on his weight. He probably added an extra hour to his daily workout routine the morning after eating the cake Trey gave him. I don’t believe that Rook is completely oblivious of Vil’s darker feelings, just as Vil has stated, he keeps too close an eye on him not to be oblivious. And he was astute enough to keep his infatuation with Neige a secret from Vil for nearly two years. This had to have been intentional. It honestly makes me wonder what Rook thinks of Vil on a more personal level. 

But regardless, the fact is, Rook was always going to vote for Neige and his explanation at the end of Book 5 was always going to be his reasoning. Vil’s overblot just gave him a more “legitimate” reason to do so. For whatever reverence he holds for Vil, it was never going to trump his reverence for Neige. The fact he brought all of his Neige photos with him to the training camp further implies that he was never going to be objective in this situation. And seeing Vil almost poison Neige probably further convinced him that Vil was undeserving of victory. 

That may make Rook seem duplicitous considering how positive and sincere he seems to be, but he’s still human. And truthfully, him voting for his bias is not an inherently bad thing. What makes him inconsiderate in this situation is openly telling Vil he prefers the catalyst for all his insecurities and overblot, while Vil was still grieving and in a very vulnerable place. Then justifying his decision as the correct one based on his own personal preferences, weaponizing that vulnerability to avoid being called out. Knowing that Vil wasn’t likely going to object. 

Even if NRC Tribe did win, it’s very likely Rook would have still brought up his vote to Vil and still convinced him it was undeserved. I would even go so far as to argue that Rook’s remarks about Neige early on in book 5 as well as Vil’s labwear vignette foreshadow the ending of book 5/start of book 6 far more than the fact that the huntsman betrayed the evil queen in the original Snow White. 

That coupled with a perfectionist like Vil looking back at their less-than-perfect performance is what compelled him to agree with Rook. If we take into account the idea that Vil still chose to vote for his own team afterwards, Rook’s actions and words probably further pushed him into believing in the idea of his inherent villainy and inferiority to Neige. After all, surely Neige Leblanche would never be reduced to such a hideous state. His heart is too pure, the fairest one of all and as different from Vil as night and day. 

If left to his own devices without Rook to influence him, Vil might not be so hard on himself in this case and would resent his defeat more. As he has every right to. But instead, Vil agreed with what was easiest and what made most sense based on everything that has happened in his life and all that he has been made to believe about himself. Why should he continue protesting when no one else will? 

Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen of Vil’s tenacity, excellence and kindness. Why should he believe that he is the most beautiful one of all when Mira frequently tells him the opposite? Why should he believe in his own noble spirit when people openly say it’s not enough and that he’s not relatable enough to be a hero? Why shouldn’t he believe he is hideous when the entire world says it’s so? When even a large majority of this very fucking fandom mischaracterize him as such and agree with Rook anyway? 

Why should Vil question any of this?

And Vil will sadly continue to be second to Neige and will likely never question it. He will continue to internalize the toxic dichotomy between him and Neige and again, why shouldn’t he? After all, Vil is the evil queen to Neige’s Snow White, the Sharpay to his Gabriella, the Odile to his Odette. And Neige is the Madonna to Vil’s whore. Vil is not supposed to be the hero in this story and not even his trusted vice dorm leader has faith in him.

In discourse regarding the end of book 5, I’ve often heard it said that this was a “lesson” Vil had to learn in order to become a better person. I believe there was indeed a lesson to be learned from this, but not the one that many think. Since Vil knew from the beginning that trying to poison Neige was wrong, he didn’t need to learn how to play fair like Leona. 

Despite being a harsh leader, Vil was generally always fair with his teammates and again, as a former dancer, the way Vil instructed the NRC Tribe members seemed tame compared to some of the dance teachers I’ve had in the past. So learning to be less tyrannical wasn’t the lesson to learn either, like with Riddle. And part of what led to his overblot was realizing that NRC Tribe had been “outplayed” by Neige’s cuteness. But he still had enough faith in his ability to vote for his own team, so learning not to be manipulative wasn’t really needed either, like with Azul. 

No, the lesson for Vil here is that hard work is rarely ever rewarded fairly. And that his trauma is not valid because he was blessed in a way that Neige was not. He must always take second place to him because of his blessings while simultaneously ALWAYS being perfect. And because of his blessings, he can never express ugly emotions, he can never express anguish, and he must always, ALWAYS, take his mistreatment in stride. And God forbid if Vil DOES respond to his trauma in an ugly manner, he WILL be punished for it. He will ALWAYS be punished for it and by those closest to him no less. 

If Vil doesn’t like how they’ve treated him in his darkest hour, tough titties. It’s all his fault for not hiding his trauma to begin with. And he doesn’t even have the right to a moment to himself to cry. 

But that is where my analysis ends. Honestly this was kind of painful to write because it has made me fully realize just how much I’ve grown to disdain Rook after adoring him for so long. You all have no idea how hard I was hoping he would have some scrap of redemption in book 6. It’s really upsetting that so many people in this fandom look down on Vil or mischaracterize him but somehow don’t notice the glaring red flags in his dynamic with his vice dorm leader. 

Honestly, when I think about it, the ending of Book 5 is actually kind of brilliant, even if it’s also emotionally sadistic and lacking in other aspects. I'm not sure if that was Yana’s intention, but the fact that so many in the fandom tend to see Rook as the kinder one compared to Vil is very telling. 

Now I’m not saying that Vil is absolutely without flaws, Heaven knows he has many. As does every person in the twst cast. Vil is impulsive, domineering, harsh, difficult to please, overwhelming at times and extremely complex. But he is also helpful, perceptive, intelligent, genuinely kind and wants the best for those around him. Not for his own glory but for their own happiness and well-being. He is also clearly a deeply misunderstood and insecure young man, so I guess because of Vil’s faults, it’s “easier” to mischaracterize him. 

As for me, I find Vil’s character all the more compelling in spite of his harshness because I can see in him a true understanding of beauty that is both profound and attainable by anyone. If we are brave enough to behold it.

[strangertheory]

Over the last three years, I've gone back and forth on my assessment regarding whether or not my discussion of my theories might be appreciated and appropriate, given that I am a singlet who has simply started to notice patterns and details within Stranger Things which (to me) appear to support the possibility that the creators are intending to tell a story about worlds that exist within the human mind and characters that are all connected to one another within a system. (Whether or not they are writing this concept in an accurate and appropriate way being a very important but separate question that will surely be talked about after season 5 if my suspicions are correct.)

My interest in doing my best to learn more about DID and the experiences of systems and alters didn't actually begin with Stranger Things (that's another longer story), but my passion and appreciation for the wonderful characters in the show and their well-written journeys and my desire to understand the bigger picture and what the rules of the Stranger Things universe are intended to be certainly strengthened it.

Can those outside of a community respectfully and beneficially learn about experiences that aren't their own, and attempt to discuss them and do so and continue to grow and learn when these experiences are perceived as relevant to characters in popular media? This is a hotly debated issue that stretches beyond this specific topic and into conversations about representation of many different lived experiences in all media. And I don't think there's necessarily a clear-cut answer that is applicable to every scenario. I think we should all hold each other accountable and educate each other. I am very grateful for anyone who has reached out to me to correct me and provide me with a better understanding of others. Generally, I'm wary of advocating that only those in the lgbtqa+ community can discuss lgbtqa+ characters. I'm wary of advocating that only those in the Black community can talk about Black characters. How can we each learn about each other and live in the world together if we don't exchange ideas and seek to understand each other's lived experiences as best we can? How do we improve representation and storytelling if we don't seek to learn about experiences that aren't our own? To me, communication and sharing of ideas is very important. But I recognize that there will be situations in which this should not be done, and cannot perhaps be done in a way that is sure to avoid causing harm, and it's within that cautious wariness that I'm going to take a break from discussing my theories.

I'm glad that some of my ideas over the last few years resonated with a few alters who reached out to me and shared their ideas, knowledge and experiences with being part of a system. In truth, I would prefer to read your analyses and ideas about what might be happening within Stranger Things over sharing my own. Over the last few years I've linked some Asks in my pinned post that some of you messaged me so that hopefully your insight and personal experiences with DID will be read by others interested in this theory before any of my own ideas.

However, given the sensitivity of the topic and the risk that I might not offer ideas and conversation that is constructive, and being unsure of my place in this broader conversation and not wanting to cause any harm, I'm going to take a hiatus from all theory discussion until after Stranger Things 5.

I hope that if my theories regarding the writers' intentions are correct, that the Stranger Things team has been consulting with those who have DID and are doing everything they can to create a popular show that represents DID respectfully. If we can all agree on something in spite of our differences, I hope that we can all agree that the world doesn't need more popular fictional narratives demonizing multiplicity.

[akaraboonline]

Congrats If Your Guy Does These 16 Things

The lads are making crude comments about what they want to do with you and where on Tinder, Match, and the streets if you are dating right now. Before they even know your last name, they're messaging you sexual innuendos and requesting to "hang out" because they're afraid to commit to the idea of an actual date. Congrats If Your Guy Does These 16 Things I was raised by a man who lived his life as a true gentleman, I know a few men who live this way now, and make no mistake: they do wonderfully with women. As a woman, there is nothing more enjoyable than being in the company of a man who embraces his manhood with the self-assured reserve of a true gentleman rather than the overt chest-thumping and cat-calling. Let me be clear before you say I don't like males: I love more things about men than I can possibly express in a single piece. This is not about using man-shaming to empower women. Actually, the reverse is true. It honors the mature man's guy who treats women with respect.

Here are 16 signs he's a true gentleman

Congrats If Your Guy Does These 16 Things 1. He's hygienic, but cleans his nails and trims his nose hairs outside of a nail salon. Consider this: Who would be getting their nails done—a gladiator or Hemingway? My guess is no. 2. He can balance both swag and sophistication, and a career and personal life without too many proverbial exclamation points. Furthermore, never more than one in a text message. Not at all. 4. He isn't looking to play "pen pal" with you through your iPhone. Considering that he is aware of how boring Johnny becomes when there is only text. 5. When he's interested in a woman, he doesn’t wait three days to call her. He calls her, however, and when he does, he asks her out to dinner, makes the appointments, chooses a fantastic bottle of wine (since he is skilled at doing so), and then ensures she returns home without incident. 6. If he wants to see her again, he lets her know. And if he doesn't, he respectfully tells her that even if it wasn't, it was still a pleasure to spend time with her. He does, however, make it clear to her that he is not interested in her so she won't waste her time hoping for something that won't materialize. 7. He reads actual books and newspapers. has opinions on a wide range of topics, from scotch pairings to global affairs, but he is aware that not all of them are based on fact, and that not everyone must share them for him to keep his connections and his manhood. He actually likes it when you disagree with him because it allows him to engage you in a stimulating discussion or makes you think about topics more deeply than you did before you sat down in front of him. 8. He opens doors and takes coats. He does this not because he thinks women are weak but rather because he is capable of demonstrating his concern for the welfare of those around him. 9. He might want to get into a woman’s bed, but he’s also interested in getting into her head. The man who occupies her thoughts has subdued every other aspect of her, and he has learned from experience that seduction is a delicate ballet. 10. He appreciates a woman who shows she cares for him, but he isn’t interested in being courted. He enjoys taking the initiative when courting and is not in need of being "chased" in order to tickle his ego. Additionally, he won't "play puppy dog" to a woman who exploits this. 11. He doesn't look to be anyone’s father or savior. He also doesn't pose as the hero in any woman's fairy tale. He's just a man looking for a companion who can handle her own financial obligations, defeat dragons on her own, and travel the world with him. 12. He looks for a woman who doesn’t need him but wants him. Not for financial gain, a child's pleasure, or a safety net, but only for who he is. 13. He has a career, a hobby, a family of close friends, and a favorite way to have his steak prepared. When the lady in front of him possesses these attributes, he is not in the least way intimidated; on the contrary, it makes him want her even more. 14. He has a strong understanding of his own character and convictions, what he values and what he doesn’t. He is a man who is comfortable being honest with others around him because he is honest with himself about himself. 15. He takes as much pride in the way he treats women as he does his job and the way he looks. And he is even more proud of that. 16. He's not the bad boy, a good boy, or a boy at all — he’s a man. A prominent man who seeks a fantastic woman rather than a nice girl. One who shares all of the positive traits he has and perhaps has something to teach him along the way. He will gladly hold out for this woman for however long it takes, and he is willing to wait and work for her. But when she shows up, he doesn't hesitate; he is wise enough to recognize when he has struck it lucky. She should be intelligent enough to know the same thing when she finds him and is aware of all the indications that he is a gentleman. Read the full article

[the-cryptographer]

it’s one in the morning and i’m trying to piece together a kind of plausible background for the DOMA crew, and it feels like i’m reinventing the wheel, except very poorly. i feel like I’ve heard Sarajevo/Bosnian war before for amelda, and I feel like that seems like a good answer considering all the people who are much better read in world history and culture than i am that have endorsed it. but i’ve set amelda’s age in canon at around twenty in canon, and set his childhood baggage at near age 8 (as per the parallel with seto), and ygo canon itself as starting around 1997 (as per the original publication date of the manga and several other culutral landmarks in canon). And while i like the choice to go period piece with this canon in of itself, it continues to make my life hell because i have to keep trying to look shit up, trying and failing to prevent  achronological slip-ups. and the Bosnian war definitely does not match up to this timeline so i can’t just steal the headcanons of people who know better than i - fuck you, DeLurk. and this seems like a whole lot of effort for what is just going to be a couple of throwaway lines (well, at least here in this fic. hopefully more of the DOMA crew in the future.) but here i am wondering if Azerbaijan and Armenian descent work well enough? i feel like eastern europe, ottoman influence, or the Caucasus is very broadly the section of the world i want to draw from here. i do have a level of familiarity with Soviet influence in the Caucasus from a Russian language/literature/culture perspective, and it seems to check out in a broad sense - the tanks. although this perspective is definitely one where you’re not sure how accurate the cultural/ethnic information you’re getting is given the fact that Russian language/literature/culture is saturated with a rather intimate racism regarding anyone from “south of the border”, so to speak. ugh. i’m just... sure that this is going to fall apart upon closer inspection for anyone who’s really into these kind of details, but i also feel like i should at least try.

also this is completely ignoring any cultural landmarks we get from the series’s epilogue bc, gdi, you don’t get to throw up pictures of mystery world architecture and then pretend that counts as giving a shit, animation team.

for rafael and valon i’m just going to be obnoxious and go with British and Australian respectively. how very fanon of me. rafael is, of course, some levels of culturally sensitive regarding amelda, but valon is a piece of shit that probably makes jokes at amelda’s expense and i love him. they’re currently all based outside of Melbourne, although how often they spend at base varies. they all rented a house together at some point, but they’ve moved out and on since. they’re still periodically in contact and on friendly terms, but they don’t see each other super regularly. they touch base a couple times a year. also rscs, who is a total bae oc, posited a transman amelda hc. his top does look vaguely binder-ish, which is probably not the best birthplace for a trans headcanon, but the idea has still grown on me like a weed. transman rafael also seems like a pretty swag idea. and they kind of overlap amazingly with the general feeling i got about dartz taking advantage and manipulating these marginalised peoples who had been through these hardships. before, of course, canon ruined it by making dartz responsible for their hardships, but fuck canon. i can decide that later though. it doesn’t really matter here, since jounouchi’s POV. and jounouchi is unlikely to realise something like this about people he doesn’t really give a shit about, and mai is unlikely to tell him.

[yandere-sins]

Can I ask? Why there are so many fem y/n out there? I'm a newbie and uh...I don't understand...why does fem reader always a thing? Like Wattpad, 99.14℅ of the reader fanfic always start with (fem reader) do people forget that male/nb people do exist too?? I ask anyone and me kind of like the way you answer people's questions! So can I ask why?

Also, IDK if this has already been sent to an ask but have you once written about male reader smut?👀💅 (if so, I'm interested)

Not sure if you guys know each other/are the same person/had the same idea in a similar time but you sent those right after each other and I think that’s hilarious :’D

I want to start this off by saying, respectfully, stay calm when you approach this topic. I see and I understand the frustration about not getting the representation you deserve, however I need to be blunt with you: you can’t really blame other people for that. Being angry at others won’t help you with the problem you are experiencing either.

Without knowing any statistics I can only tell you what I saw over the years and my experience with requests. Which are that most people who request smut AND specify gender in it, will ask for afab!body or go straight for a female reader. I had some requests on my other blogs for smut with a male body but they were far outweight by the ones specifically asking for a female body reader. Why? I assume more female/- body readers that want themselves represented are reading fanfiction, but I can’t be sure of that either since anon is anon, I will never know who is behind it.

The second point is, that at least for me, I know way more female/non-binary but afab writers than male or amab writers. Maybe I am not looking right, maybe I am just unlucky, but in 5 years of writing I can count all the male writers I met here on tumblr with both my hands. If people send in unspecific requests without telling the writer what kind of body they want, it is more likely that an afab writer might use their knowledge and write just that kind of body. They could be writing amab bodies but I haven’t seen them do that much ngl. People gravitate to what they know best after all. It’s the same for me.

Third, and okay, that one is kind of lame but I feel like it should be spoken about because it answers the question: Why is no one pushing their boundaries and explore writing male bodies for reader requests?

There’s no reward for it.

Literally, with how tumblr is, people like the post at most (if they even read it because a lot of female people might not see the appeal), never share, the post barely gets notes, it ends up fluking horrible, writers who came out of their shell and tried something new don’t feel validated and bad about themselves because there are no comments that tell them what they did good or bad and how enjoyable it was. So they don’t do it again. And I don’t blame them. Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. And if you are a new writer and insecure about what you do, always questioning yourself and comparing, then seeing your post get much, much less acknowledgement than your others that may feature female bodyparts... Well, it sucks. Really stings, I can’t deny it.

I have the luxury to do what I want now, but if you just start out it’s a struggle ngl.

So those are the reasons as to why I, personally, think that there is less male body content. It’s justified to be upset because yes, everyone deserves the same representation and visibility, no question asked. However, here are some things that I think would help make this more of a reality:

Be a bit more specific. You’re not supposed to write an essay on what the reader looks like in a free request, but if you are requesting something and you want to make sure it’s for the male body, then tell the writer so they can act on it. They’re not mindreaders and some instances would really benefit from knowing what kind of body was intended for the request. (Personally, for me, the struggle always lies with chest and breast. With my language barrier I am never sure if talking about a male body cleavage is appropriate. (I just really like open shirts okay? It’s hard to describe sometimes)) And please check with the writer beforehand if they are okay with that (and if they are not, that’s okay too! I better not catch someone harrassing anyone because of that!)

Share the shit out of things! If you find something you like, leave a message, and a like, and a reblog, and share it with friends, show some love! Be nice to the author, make them feel good! No one gets anything out of a like and then it stays inside the likes of readers for years with no interactions, and no one is motivated by these damn likes anyway. I am pretty sure if there was no cheer and encouragement, people would be more comfortable and learn to write it better even if it’s not what they are used to.

Don’t be upset about other people’s requests or content. Save yourself the trouble and handle it properly: If you don’t like something, move on. As stated above, people have their reasons for writing the body they want and that is okay. Something that is very, ultra important to realize is: No one needs to do content for you. If you want to see something specific you have to create it yourself or be ready to properly ask/commission someone to do it for you. It sounds harsh, but why are you expecting others to cater to your tastes? We are all just out there on the internet doing our own lil thing, trying to make more if we can, you know? If someone feels more comfortable with female bodies, gets only unspecific requests, and just tries to do their damn best, then you can’t really expect anything from them but what they give to you. If you don’t make an effort, why would they make an effort for you? No one can ever keep you from doing what you want to do. And if you want to see something, no one keeps you from creating it yourself, always keep that in mind!

I don’t mean to attack anyone, but it doesn’t sit well with me seeing you two get a little worked up in my asks about this. I hope I was able to give you a bit of an insight from a writer’s pov, maybe you learned something, maybe it made you realize something. Maybe you are more angry now, even though idk why you would be. In the end it’s all just my personal experience and opinions.

Oh, but you anon, the first one, yes, you. Get off Wattpad. That thing has always been awful but with the new company that is now allowing to steal all the ideas and shit, big yikes. 10/10 would not support that. Go to Ao3. I do have a strong opinion on Wattpad I must admit and it’s not a good one. And yes, I’ve written a couple of male bodies in my writing time but it’s like 11pm and I am too lazy to look for them if I am honest ^^’

If I know what I am supposed to do I will write you any gender, body, hell if you want to be a monster reader I’ll give you as many holes and appendices as you want. It takes a lot for me to reach the point it gets uncomfy. But if you leave it all up to me... well... if I have to write about the reader getting railed, I’ll not take criticism for going with what I am most comfortable with and in what I can see myself as well. ‘Cause you know, it’s also my fun, yeh?

Tbf, I am not sure I completely understood you since it’s late, but I think I got the point you were talking about, so hm.

I just wanna start this saying I truly hate those short, one-sentence requests so much like literally just “Can you write Character X with a chubby/slim/tall/small/etc. reader?” Big yikes, those requests get a 0 for creativity and the don’t inspire me at all. You always have to be nice and say that character x will still love the reader no matter what and it’s like rattling off a script just with different inserts. I did that for 2 years straight and it ruined everything for me. I also said so in my Requesting PSA before but especially in yandere, your yandere loves you no matter what so I am just out of patience for those things. At least give me a unique kind of reader, I beg of you guys! Everything else to this I pretty much said in the PSA above so I’ll leave it at that, but I always like to rant about it.

That said, while I try to ignore those parts in my own writing (because they are not important specifics if they are not the only detail in the request. E.g. “Can you write Character x with a x kind of reader who really likes to dance.” I would only focus on the dance aspect.) I, of course, read fanfiction where the reader looks different than me. And, especially now that I am reading more books again, I freaking love it. The whole thing about reading is that you turn off your mind and be teleported in this new world, the new scenario, and new story happening! Isn’t that so freaking cool????? And with reader scenarios, suddenly you can be anything! I am actually a chubby girl, but I am delighted every time the reader gets picked up! Like yes!!! Lift me like I am a sack of potatoes!! It’s great the character is so strong!!! It will never happen in real life but that’s okay! I guess in these scenarios the writer is imagine a skinny reader, and I can’t really provide that, but I think it’s really awesome that I can imagine that no matter what I look like, the character still treats me as I deserve—Normal. Without batting an eye. It’s the same with having magic abilities for example.

As a writer my personal worst fear is every time that I write about hair. Like, patting the reader on the hair, or combing through it. Because stupidly my mind tells me, “Okay but what if they are bald?” and I get a really bad feeling every time. BUT SIKE! In my scenario you now have hair! Accept it or not but I still wrote the reader having hair. Some readers may not like that, and that’s okay too, but at the end of the day you always have the ability to immerse yourself a little and accept an image change even if it’s just for the duration of a story. Nothing wrong with that. The same goes for: everyone gets nice legs and a nice ass, and you are all welcome :D Leave insecurities in the reality for when you come back to them later, as long as you read my stuff you are a borrowed, different you.

But, to be fair, on the topic of insecurities (and I think that’s what you really were going on about with your ask): People have insecurities. And sometimes, they want to hear that they are loved and accepted, especially when things are mediocre at best. I am not shaming anyone for wanting to hear that their favorite character loves them, I do too and I think they do deserve to hear it as well. So, your favorite character loves you, guys. Exactly as you are.

Sometimes, it will bring people to request about a specific type, personality, etc. Because just like you with your male body problem, they want representation and love too. And it’s okay when they and the writer decide to work something out, even if it doesn’t benefit you because maybe it’s not your kind of body type or the like. The reader should be for everybody, but it also doesn’t need to be every reader. Some people request scenarios that focus more on the characters and for those you can write a reader for everyone. And sometimes the request is more about the reader and may not be for everyone but just as okay.

I will now redirect you to the male body discussion we had above, and say that no one owes you anything, especially nothing suited to only you. Unfortunate, but if you want to see something specific, create it yourself. As a writer it’s really hard to be all inclusive all the time, and sometimes I just want the character to comb through hair, okay? Sometimes the creative flow is more important than pleasing everyone, at least for me. And no one can really tell you where it starts and ends, like, if I never describe the reader again just to make it completely inclusive, but then I have to describe an action like the character is taking the reader by the hand... Well, what about people without a hand???? Should I just never have interactions again?

I hope you see my point.

To round it up, here’s a post that I saw a few days ago which actually fits this topic as well.

And as I said multiple times, it’s just my opinion, but don’t see everything so strict. I still think about the anon who once told me it’s not that deep. And sometimes I agree with them. Sometimes.

Some things are not for you, and sometimes things are not so deep. And that’s okay too.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Oh my gosh so I also headcannon Jack as autistic! But im not comfortable with writing it yet because idk how. Im not autistic; my little sister is and i know a few things jack could have trouble with... but hes a grown ass man so i just dont know. Im definitely taking notes on what you write him as but could you give me some pointers?....maybe?

Im mostly referencing to Bitter with this

aaaa yeah it definitely presents differently in adults who've learned to mask, personally I don't plan to put certain things in specifically to talk about how he's autistic, I write with the background knowledge of what traits he displays, and then express them when relevant, it's relevant a lot with Jack simply due to how much it affects his life

now this is going to get long, so bare with me, because this is a whole lot more complicated than you might expect

there's really no one correct way to write Jack, since there's no one way that autism presents itself, the way I write him is based on a mix of myself and some people in my family, so I can give you a basic idea of what angle I personally come from

for one, I change the way I write about facial expressions and how emotions come across to Jack, in Jazz's chapters I'll write about the exact emotion she can see on their face, with Jack's I'll go with an obvious base emotion, but then if the person is expressing something more complicated, I'll describe their face in physical details

eg;

Jazz POV - Danny was upset, but his face was tight with frustration

Jack POV - Danny looked sad, but his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was set in a hard line

it's a subtle difference but it's one I try to maintain throughout Bitter, Jack's POV is based on how I have trouble reading non-obvious expressions, although in my case I also have trouble looking people in the face when I talk to them, that's harder to write in an emotion driven POV story, so I made Jack better at that than I am

his interest in machines is quite obvious, since he's an inventor, and he looooves infodumping on people, he gets very excited about his passions very quickly and his mouth runs off with him, something I also have trouble with, it hasn't been a prominent trait for Jack in Bitter, because he's so out of his element he's mostly confused and in a way, almost grieving his own death, so he's been far quieter than he usually is

his special interest is obviously ghosts and machinery, and in Bitter I cover that he's got a degree in engineering, physics and mathematics. He's good at them, I like to look at it as though Jack rolled high in intelligence and low in wisdom, he's book smart, he knows things that are straightforward and have firm rules, he's less comfortable in topics that are more wishy washy and vague, biology is complicated and has too many variables, he finds it difficult to grasp, there's no one standard rule that applies to every body

I also struggle with vague and unclear directions, I need a solid structure and clear instructions, my strength is in sorting, organising, alphabetising and colour coding, I like things to Look Right, I stick to a particular routine with very specific things, and it's viscerally uncomfortable and even distressing for me to have that order disturbed, I nearly had a meltdown at work because someone had done a part of my job incorrectly, and I had to fix it, it made me genuinely upset on a personal level, it was MY system, NOBODY should be touching it, NOBODY should be moving things around, they do anyway, and I spend a portion of my shifts just frustrated and on edge because of it

Jack also has issues socially, he often says or does things that other people find uncomfortable or embarrassing, I reference that in Bitter, where Jack assumes everyone is mad at him because he said or did something stupid, this I have much experience in, while in the middle of a social situation it's easy to just do what comes naturally to you and not realise it's off putting to other people, because people often play polite and you can't tell that they're uncomfortable, even though people around you find it painfully obvious

sometimes it's easy to see in hindsight after you've been told you made something awkward or uncomfortable, but in the moment if nobody says anything about it, you can remain either totally oblivious, or become anxious and second guess every interaction you have

Jack is the oblivious type, he's fortunate to live in a family that is fairly understanding, they might get frustrated with him, or embarrassed by him, but they don't really take it personally, they KNOW he means well, they know he cares, and Jack does care, he cares a lot, he feels things a lot, he's incredibly empathetic

this is a trait that a lot of media likes to ignore in depictions of autism, because I guess it makes people with autism seem 'too normal', when tv shows always want to be like 'hey wow look at this clever asshole! isn't he clever, but also an asshole! but you can't hate him because he's ✨autistic✨ and he can't help it'

that bothers me a lot, I mean some people with autism do have trouble relating and empathising with people, my brother is one of them, but some people with autism really empathise a lot, some of us feel things very strongly, I'm highly empathetic and it's a real struggle to cope with

so yeah, it is a very complicated thing, so you need to go in with an idea of what their character struggles with, how it affects them, and when it's relevant in the story, also autism falls on a very wide spectrum, some people, like myself, are able to mask well, but that creates a big issue with identity, when you start to wonder how much of you is real and how much of you is mask, then you have to decide if you want to lower that mask and accept the social consequences of expressing yourself naturally

I have a friend who presents a little more obviously, he's very rigid in his ways and he talks like he's reading from a script, I have another friend who can socialise just fine, but will go into a total meltdown when a plan gets derailed and she doesn't know what to do next

another friend I have is highly social and incredibly boisterous, she stims with her whole body, dances around a lot, she's chaotic and that can be off-putting to people, she's had to spend a lot of her life holding that back, she's only recently started learning how to be herself shamelessly

my brother was incredibly social when he was younger, and people always really loved him, but most of that is mask, he's socially anxious and just wants to be alone most of the time, and he's a total prick to his immediate family, I don't take that personally any more, since now I understand that he's so blunt and brutally honest because he isn't masking with us, but also he still needs to be called out when he oversteps, autism might be why he has difficulty empathising, but it's not an excuse to be a complete asshole, even people with autism need to be called out on shitty behaviour, it isn't a get out of jail free card, our self expression shouldn't come at the cost of hurting other people, most of us are more than capable of learning to not be an asshole

I know this is like, A LOT, but these are the things that need to be considered when writing about autism, it is an all encompassing thing that permeates your entire life experience, I absolutely welcome people like you to try to write about it! Because I think it shouldn't be a taboo subject, and I appreciate that you asked for advice and that you want to do it respectfully, you've probably seen first hand how difficult living with autism can be, having a family member on the spectrum, so you already have some experience to draw from, I don't know your relationship with your sister or how old she is, or where on the spectrum she falls, but if possible you can ask her about her experiences in particular situations that you're having trouble writing, if that's something you and she are comfortable with

I hope this helps, just remember to keep an open mind and listen to any feedback you might get, it is very VERY easy to misrepresent autism so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't quite get it right, if someone gives you a critique, take it in stride and use it to become better ~ you can even express that in an authors note, that you want to write it accurately and invite anyone with experience to share their opinion, because like I said, it is different for everyone and my experiences are not universal, and you're welcome to run something by me every once in a while if you aren't sure about it ❤️

[blackberry-gingham]

the beatles with an autistic reader who’s self-conscious abt their stims? 👉👈👉👈👉👈

Aw, this pure 🥺

It's always nice when you guys send in asks like this, I love learn a bit about topics idk much about so I can get both more informed on it and write better content too! So yeah, thank you! 🤗

George

You’ve been dating George for a little now, but today is the first time you’ve really stimmed in front of him

The two of you are relaxing in his flat, watching some telly on the couch

Why does this have to happen now?

You feel nervous, and you’re trying to hide it

But you can’t help it!

You just keep itching then rubbing around your neck

However, you’re doing a better job at being subtle then you think

When George catches on, he thinks you’re just trying to ask for some affection!

So, George being George, he pulls you in for a snuggle

Of course that just excites you more though, and that’s when George gets a little confused

“Are you alright love?”

You figure you have to tell him eventually...

So you quietly explain your stims and all that to him

George feels a little bad for not knowing, or at least not asking first before exciting you like that!

He apologizes, but other then that he doesn’t make a big deal out of it

Just as long as you’re alright, that’s all that matters to him!

George asks if there’s anything he can do for you first though

If you’d like, you two can still cuddle and while you stim!

And if you’d like to rub or itch him a little instead, he’d be totally ok with that

In fact, if you can be gentle! he might even like it :)

John

Now John (or at the very least, my John), is really into mental health and understanding different illnesses and disabilities!

He’s very up front with his issues with anxiety and eating disorders, as well as the fact that he’s been getting the treatment he needs for them

So if, for any reason, you feel shy about being autistic and all that, being with John and hearing him be so open and accepting makes you feel comfortable enough to tell him everything up front

And of course, he totally understands!

He asks you for a little more information, if you can, like your triggers and stims so he knows how to be mindful and helpful to you

That takes you aback for sure

See, you’re actually quite self conscious about your stims...

So having someone be so chill about it is both surprising and comforting to you!

Still, you’re a little nervous to tell him, but John assures you that you have no need to be embarrassed, it’s just natural for you!

You’re starting to think you like this guy, lol

You do manage to tell him in the end, and John makes a mental note of all the information you share

Of course, he never stops trying to learn about autism and stims after this conversation though

You’re very important to him after all!

So any time you do have to stim, it’s totally normal between the two of you!

If you’d like, John can help you co-regulate yourself so you can calm down should you be feeling too overwhelmed 

But, if you’re fine, then no big deal!

Oh, and one more thing...

You can bet that John would be super protective of you if you need to stim in public!

Anyone rude enough that has something to say or even just a weird look, has to deal with John lol

Per your request, he won’t make a big scene or anything, but he for sure has, can, and will, tell certain people off if he has to

Paul

Personally, I feel like Paul would be the one to be the most like... cautious?? I guess, when addressing your stims

Like whichever your stims are, it’s not that he’s bothered or anything!

He’s just not sure what’s going on

It’s like, he doesn’t want to bother you incase if this is a sensitive topic for you

But at the same time, what if there’s something he could be doing to help you! More importantly, do you even need or want his help?

These are some very important questions to Paul, so he makes sure to breach the topic gently and respectfully

You feel kind nervous to tell him about your stims, maybe even a little embarrassed

But, you explain that you’re just stimming and it’s a part of your autism

And Paul feels relived to hear it!

Well, first he wants to make sure that it’s not like a problem for you and if you want him to do something when you stim

You tell him that sometimes it’s a bother, but generally you can handle it yourself unless you specify otherwise

Then he feels relieved!

As a perfectionist, I could see Paul also making it his mission to try and learn more about autism and stims

He just wants to understand you better so he can be helpful and informed on whatever you may need

From then on, honestly things don’t change too much

You still have your stims and Paul acts totally normal when they happen

Except now, you don’t feel as much a need to hide them!

And Paul feels a little more at ease knowing you’re ok and, more importantly, that you trust him to help you if you want it!

All you have to do is ask <3

Ringo

Honestly, I think Ringo would be in the same boat as George

Like he’s kind of ignorant on the subject of stims, but it’s like an innocent ignorance if that makes sense ???

I guess what I’m trying to say is he doesn’t think your stims are weird or that you’re weird or whatever, he just thinks you simply have your own way of expressing certain feelings!

Which I mean, you do, lol

He just doesn’t know that you’re actually just stimming!

Like, if you’re the type to be all energetic, like flapping, bouncing, or just jumping around, then Ringo assumes you’re just having some fun!

I mean... Anyone who’s seen A Hard Day’s Night, or even just some clips of him performing lol, knows what Ringo’s idea of dancing/having fun is

If anything, I feel like he’d just join in and jump around with you rather then, idk, assume something else is going on

Now if you’re stimming bc you’re in a good mood, you guys could just jam out for a while until you get it all out!

But, if that’s not the case, I’m sure you’d  be like, uuuuuhm ????

To which, once you explain, Ringo would feel really bad!!

He genuinely thought you were just enjoying yourself, he doesn’t want you to feel like he was mocking you or something!

You might have to reassure him that you're not offended tbh, after all, that was far from his intentions

Moving on tho, he'd definitely like to know more about your stims!

He doesn't think it's strange really, he just wants to know how he can better interact with you while you're stimming

Like, would you like to be left alone? Do you want him to be with you while you stim?

Or if you just really don't care, he's more then happy to jam out with you!

After all, if stimming makes you feel shy or embarrassed, Ringo wants to make it feel as normalized as possible for you!

Although, from now on he's sure to try and get a little more educated about your stims :)

[gilmesc1]

You seem way more chill than riku from system of a feather. They were a total prick to that anon. It’s so weird they’re ashamed of their source

Ok. No no no. I’m not gonna drag them through the mud because they are 100% allowed (I’m sorry I don’t know pronouns for Riku) to state their opinion clearly on how they feel about that.  Secondly, as much as I love being favorited in communities I shouldn’t get any more respect than others for being a little more open about my source. It’s a fictive’s choice to decide how associated they want to be with their source. 

Believe it or not Fictives are as diverse as any other alter or singlet. We don’t have one pattern of behavior. Yes some Fictives can act similar or stick to one pattern but we are not all the same. 

Honestly anon, I think they handled that really well. They had been triggered and were in a less than stellar emotional state, yet they still managed to write a polite and informative post. Yes, I’m calling that polite because they really didn’t pass into “fuck off” territory and instead provided reasoning for the way they felt.   Also they did mention that they didn’t want that kind of ask sent in a post that day, so like... Also the anon did clear everything up so they aren’t a bad person either. It was a misunderstanding about an unfortunately heavy topic. I would not consider this discourse and I’m not sure why you’re looking for me to diss Riku, I’m not. Seriously anon I had 9 asks of varying rudeness from you so let’s address that. 

I wouldn’t say that they’re ashamed. If they were they never would have said their source in the first place. Some Fictives just don’t as closely associate with their sources. It’s not a bad thing. 

Let’s look at it like this. Riku has found peace by becoming an individual who is confident and independent of their source. Then there’s me on the other end of the quote unquote spectrum, where I am proud of my source and hold my attachment to me as something that is valuable to me as a person. 

This essentially means that I prefer to keep the traits of my source as a part of me while Riku doesn’t. Again it’s a choice depending on the individual. To end this train(wreck) of thought it’s not that they’re ashamed, they are just not closely associated with their source and would like to keep it that way. 

Moving on, to answer something in one of the asks I’m not posting, does it even matter if they don’t sound like the quote unquote original Riku. Admittedly I have no idea what kingdom hearts is or how the character fits into the story so I can’t take my magnifying glass and go ““aha! This version uses different punctuation.”

I mean I wouldn’t do that even if I had a magnifying glass. 

Fictives also have a varying degree of similarity to their original version. I on one hand am pretty damn similar. Admittedly I also have a very flashy/obnoxious personality, and being a flashy prick is part of who I am. Never though I’d be writing this out. 

Once again all Fictives are different. Call it character development I guess. Going through different events here as a fictive can change people and Riku isn’t obligated to be ““canon.”

I am just throwing words out hoping it makes sense. 

Finally the other question not in this specific ask, why wouldn’t Riku want to interact with others from their source. That’s a complicated question and guess what, it varies depending on the fictive. 

I am very lucky to have my closest friend in my system with me. Others however may not have this case. They may just be characters for you but to Fictives they can be loved ones. So here’s my speculation, Riku has come to terms with and accepted their place in this world and looking back might reopen old wounds from missing friends. Additionally when Fictives from the same source interact it can be very awkward. Again, we can change and we might’ve just not click right. 

I’ve spoken/been yelled at by other systems with Fictives from my source and while most convos have been polite, they did open a lot of memory gates, and some Fictives might not want it. It’s not saying we’re just throwing away loved ones, I’d say Riku living as they are would be doing what their loved ones would want for them, I know I wouldn’t want my friend unable to live due to my absence in their life. 

So overall, for this entire post all I can say is it varies from fictive to fictive. Approach any fictive politely and respectfully and if they’ve outlined boundaries just stick to them.

I know I’m a salty bitch who loves going off on people but Riku and their system will not be a part of that. I respect them not only for this, but for all of their actions on tumblr. I personally think they are justified for panicking a little, and I’m happy the anon meant no ill will. Side note everything after the word speculation is speculation about Riku. I just tried to provide a little more insight to how some Fictives might feel. 

So friends, I’ll leave you mongrels with a poem, the greatest work of literature of all time, by me, who’s been practicing poetry. 

Roses are red. Digorno pizza is good. Respect Riku and all Fictives, as all people should.

I know. You’re all just blown away by that masterpiece. Anyone’s welcome to add on or share thoughts, just be respectful because I’m too tired to manage discourse. 

So yayyy, post complete. 

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Dear Andy,

I have debated posting this for a while, mostly because I wanted to get it right. With the WSTW re-record release approaching and things coming to light about the actions of a former member I feel that now is as good a time as ever. I don’t know if you’ll read this, but it is something that over the past year I have wanted to do. I have been unfair and overcritical and at times, downright mean. I was judging you and your actions based on my own interpretations. The events of the past few weeks have shown me that those interpretations were wrong. So here it goes…

I have been a fan of not only Black Veil, but of you going back to 2008-2009, when everything was still on Myspace. I vividly remember eagerly awaiting the release of WSTW and making my mom drive me to the local Hot Topic to pick it up the day it came out. I remember going to my first show in a small little bar in Raleigh, NC that sadly is no more, and I remember being dressed in war paint along with my best friends. I know that it may not seem like it, but I to this day consider myself a fan. The band that you created was pivotal for my teenage years and to this day the community you helped build means the world to me.

I will admit that it was my passion and love for that community that was the root of my criticism. Despite what you or others reading this may think, I do not hate you, not at all. There have been times that I felt let down, cheated, and disappointed as a fan, but the events of the past few weeks have really opened my eyes. I will get that to that point, but I did not and do not hate you. As a person I speak up, at times when I probably shouldn’t, but I do when I feel strongly about something. I have certainly made the mistake too many times of speaking before I had all the information or trusting my own judgement on things, I knew nothing about. I am trying to get better at not doing that.

I can see how some of the things I have said, condoned, or even given a platform to were mean, uncalled for, hurtful, and regrettably untrue at times. I have had this blog and been in this fandom for over a decade. I was 13-14 years old when I first made this blog, and I am almost 25 now. I look back on some of the things I said, and I deeply regret them. In 2015 this blog was accidentally deleted, and honestly it was probably for the best that some of my earlier posts are gone. Regardless, I have let myself get carried away or swept up in drama perpetuated by others (and sometimes myself). I have said things, even in the past few years that I shouldn’t have, things that could be hurtful. While my intention was never to hurt you, I think it’s safe to say that myself and others lose sight of the impact of our words when they are said behind a screen, to people we think will never read them. As a teenager or even in my early 20’s I didn’t think that someone ‘famous’ would see what I wrote, surely it would all get lost in the sea of tweets, posts and comments.

That does not make saying those things right.

I would like to personally apologize to you for not considering the fact that you might see some of those words. That you are a person with emotions just like everyone else, that could be hurt by them. I am sorry for letting others get away with saying cruel things, even if I pushed back on them or didn’t directly comment. I would be lying if I said that the fame (or infamy), status and notoriety I got for my words didn’t affect my actions. It’s sad, but true that often times more attention comes out of negativity than kindness.

As someone who has been bullied and suffers from mental illnesses, I should have left some things unsaid. I do not know you personally, I only know what you have shared. Seeing you speak about your own struggles with mental illness over the recent years has really given me a much-needed reality check. I have related to some of the things you’ve talked about more than you know. Some of the things that others and I have been critical of were clearly not the result of malicious intent but of your own hardships that we were blind to. 

I think people forget, and I know I did, that when this band took off you were just a teenager yourself. To think that at 18 or 19 someone in your situation would act ‘right’ all of the time and never make mistakes is ridiculous. Not only were you a kid trying to figure the world out, but I think it has become clear that you were dealing with people who used you for their own selfish gains. That would be hard for anyone, regardless of their age. 

I have never dealt with addiction on a personal level, but I emphasize with whatever pain you had to endure in your own struggles with it. You are right when you said that no one sees themselves becoming an alcoholic at twenty years old, and I am sorry for not being more sympatric in the past. One of my biggest regrets in all of this was hearing that during the time that I was probably the harshest to you (around 2016) was when you were struggling the most with trying to be sober. 

I am happy that you are sober, I am glad that you were able to make it out of that cycle that consumes so many people. I hope that others who are struggling are inspired by your dedication to living a healthier life. In an industry where it is too easy to fall back into toxic behaviors and coping mechanisms, I am glad you have found strength.  

I would like to speak on why I have been so negative in the past (and at times hateful). As I said, what you created in Black Veil meant a lot to me and so many others. This band has been a part of my life for so long and I have met some of the most amazing people through it. I have met people that I can honestly say I love because of this community. This fan base gave me a home when I felt alone and gave me something to identify with as a kid. That’s why I started cosplaying as you, sure it’s a hobby of mine and aesthetically I am a fan of 80’s glam metal, but it was mostly to pay tribute. I am not a ‘traditional’ artist in the sense of paintings and drawings, my media is makeup and costume. The WSTW/STWOF era is what I consider my era as a fan, the one that I identified with the most. 

I admit, I was upset when it ended. That’s a stupid reason to be upset, obviously all bands change and there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s how I felt. The source of my jadedness was not the adoption of a new look, it was deeper than that. Around 2016 was when I had the most animosity because I saw what I thought at the time was you ‘giving up’ on Black Veil. I felt like the ‘old’ fans weren’t wanted anymore and like most people, I felt the need to protect and defend what I loved.

With the introduction of your solo act, it felt like the community I cared so much about was being destroyed and I couldn’t understand why you were doing that. I was blinded by my own judgements. What came off as hate was really just hurt. I know I am not the only ‘OG’ fan who felt that way, and I took that to mean I was justified. In hindsight it is clear, none of us had any idea what was really going on with the band and certain individuals who were bringing it down. At various times it seemed like you hated the old era and as a fan who stood there from the beginning that felt like a gut punch.  I let my own feelings make me bitter, and that was wrong. I let others fuel that bitterness, including ones who were actively stabbing you in the back. 

I remember around 2012 I made a very critical post of an article you did in Kerrang talking about your struggles with alcohol. I criticized you for not saying more and even said that what you shared was nothing in comparison to a former member’s struggles with addiction. When I received this DM from that individual saying that they approved of my words and that I was ‘spot on’ I felt embolden. I deeply, deeply regret letting such a toxic and horrible person influence me. That post I wrote was wrong, ignorant and immature. That post was one that got deleted in 2015, but I still regret having written something so heartless. 

(screen shot is from 2012, this was a Twitter DM from said individual. I did not share that post with them, they found it on their own and contacted me. ) 

I see now that you were not turning your back on Black Veil, you were trying to save it. The interview you did with Ryan Downey brought me to tears. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have something you spent your whole life fighting for be taken over by an abusive, evil, and selfish person. I feel like I have gained a better perspective of where you and the band were at over the past three weeks and I am sorry you are not free to say more. I am sorry for defending this person because they did not deserve a single fan.

Some who takes advantage of another’s passion and youth because they lack the creativity and ability to do it on their own is stealing, plain and simple. I am sorry that you have been tethered to such a horrible person for so long. I deeply admire your perseverance, strength and determination in taking back what that person tried to take. To be willing to destroy something you love and care about to keep it from the hands of evil is an incredible act of dedication to it. 

I would like to end this with a few more things. I know I have been critical of people that you love. I do admit I have taken those criticisms too far at times where they crossed into bullying. I am sorry to Juliet for being unfairly harsh, I am not a hateful person, but I have allowed myself to act that way. There are certainly things that I have said that I stand by, and there are things that I may not agree with or understand, but I think there are ways that I can voice my own opinions respectfully, without being mean. 

In an ideal world I would love to sit down with you, or anyone else I may have hurt and have a discussion about it, but hopefully this gets my point across well enough. I do not intend to delete my blog or stop accepting posts (although I will try and make an effort to get rid of toxic posts. It will just take a while to sort through them all). While I can’t promise to never say anything critical again, I can promise to stop the hatefulness. I am promising to make a real effort to clean up some of the toxicity towards you that is unfair and unwarranted. To facilitate a more respectful, yet still honest and open dialogue. I do take pride in my blog being one of the last places of discussion and community for fans, but perhaps without the cruelty that been allowed to fester. If you are someone reading this who comes here to be mean and hateful, I’m sorry but it has to stop. This was never intended to be a ‘hate blog’, but I will openly admit I understand why people thought it was.  

If you take anything away from this, or if you even read this, please let it be this. I consider myself a supporter of you and what you have created. I want nothing more than to see you succeed and be happy. I hope that you are able to overcome the struggles in your life and that you are able to find meaning and true happiness if you have not already. Although it may not appear so, I have always routed for you. It may seem like nothing you do is ever good enough for the fans (or at least some of them) but for me at least that is not true. You have been given an impossible task of trying to please thousands of people, of never being allowed to fuck up, and having past transgressions brought up again and again. For that I am sorry, and I am sorry for having played a part in that. 

You deserve to be treated as a person, not as an object or persona. I whole heartedly believe you are a decent person, who maybe has flaws and room for improvement, but so do I and so does everyone else. I do believe there are fundamentally bad people out there, people who deserve the karma they have coming. Those are the people that purposefully hurt, lie, manipulate, cheat and deceive others for personal gain. I think especially in the past few weeks we have been shown who those people are. Yet, I don’t believe you are one of those people. 

To everyone out there who is reading this, please give people the chance to change. Be okay with admitting when you are wrong. Allow people to grow and become better. Over the past year my mentality and perspective on the world has shifted dramatically. Two years ago I couldn’t have written this post, but as I enter my mid-twenties I am able to look back and say ‘this is not the person I want to be, this is not the person I want people to think I am’. So all I can do is admit my shortcomings, apologize, and be better. 

Andy, if you read this and made it to the end, thank you. You are in no way obligated to respond to or accept any of what I said. I just wanted to put this out there with the hopes that it in some way, or that some part of this, lessened some of the hurt I regrettably have caused. 

- Ren <3 

P.S the banner of my blog is not calling you or the band trash. It’s a fan term for when someone is really into something. Saying “I am ______ trash” means you love that thing. I know it’s weird, but it’s supposed to be an inside joke for other fans, it’s a positive thing. So, when I say “I am 100% 2010 Black Veil trash” I am talking about myself being a massive fan of that era. I don’t think you or the band is trashy, if I did, I wouldn’t be spending money on tickets, merch and shoving blue contacts into my eyes for 10+ years. 

[marshmallowgoop]

On Ragyo Kiryuin

Please note: This post will contain discussions of sexual assault and abuse.

I am not good at talking about Ragyo Kiryuin.

Every time I do, I mess it up. I don’t emphasize her atrocities enough. I emphasize her atrocities too much. I cause trouble for myself and others, and I always end up feeling awful.

My recent writing on Ragyo’s character—found here and here—proved no different. The reception for the first post was so overwhelmingly negative that it spurred on my first-ever legitimate anon hate, and the second post only made things worse. Even now, my inbox is being filled with dismissive, rude, heartbreaking messages that bring me to tears, and though my therapist has told me not to say that I hate myself anymore, it’s difficult not to in situations like these. I hate that my wording was so poor and that I stated my opinion so badly that I incited all this rage and aggression in someone (or someones, a thought that scares me more than I would like to admit).

It may be a mistake to try to explain myself further. But I hurt people with what I said, and that bothers me. I hurt people because I struggle to explain my feelings on a cartoon character well, and I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I want to at least put in the effort to be kinder, more nuanced, and more sympathetic.

And maybe it’ll all blow up in my face. But I don’t want to not try.

So. Ragyo Kiryuin. Mother of Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi, CEO of REVOCS, and the ultimate Big Bad of Kill la Kill. Love her, hate her, or love her and hate her, she’s certainly made an impression in the anime-viewing world. And though I can’t speak for anyone else’s impression, my personal impression is... mixed.

Let’s go through this bit by bit.

A Good Villain?

Though I don’t see it much anymore, I remember lots of comparisons between Ragyo and the villains of Saturday morning cartoons back in the day. She was described as a generic, two-dimensional “evilz for the sake of evilz” baddie and criticized for her simplicity.

And though I did admittedly agree to an extent—I craved a lot more depth and insight, particularly in regards to her haunting line about “still having something of a human heart” whilst brutally attacking her own daughter in the final episode—I also found Ragyo to be a remarkably compelling, powerful, and horrifying villain even without tons of backstory and explanation. Perhaps my write-up on her first scene in episode 6 best details why; this woman has such a presence, and the visual language of the series amplifies that presence spectacularly. Ragyo’s intimidating and scary without the audience even needing to know anything about her.

And... I’d say that’s a good villain. That’s exactly what a villain should do.

Why Does This Matter, Goop?

I know, I know. My talking about Ragyo’s efficiency as a villain probably doesn’t seem all that relevant to the stuff that egged on an anon hate assault. But I think it’s important to mention that I do believe that Ragyo is a great, powerful villain. My previous posts were so bleak and cynical that I didn’t make this point clear. It does, in retrospect, seem as though I am crapping all over the character and subtly dissing anyone who enjoys her. I’m sorry for that, and I want to stress that that was not at all my intention.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving villains—even when they’re morally bankrupt, atrocious people like Ragyo—because loving villains, of course, doesn’t automatically mean that you excuse or endorse their actions. Villains like Ragyo also leave such a strong impression on the viewers, and personally, I’ve been so captivated by this awful woman that my first attempt at my years-in-the-making Kill la Kill fairytale AU featured about a 30,000-word backstory for her. There is a lot to respect, love, and love to hate when it comes to Ragyo and how she’s written, and I never, ever mean to discount that.

However, as with all things, it’s possible to love a piece of fiction or a character or what have you and also recognize that there are problems in the portrayal. And when it comes to Ragyo, as much as I think she’s a fantastic, engaging, terrifying villain, I do take issue with her depiction.

The Sexuality Point

I got a lot of heat for my ideas regarding Ragyo’s sexuality, and I admit: I didn’t express myself well. There was a lot more I should have said and elaborated upon. Maybe I’ll still fail spectacularly, but as I said before, I don’t want to not try.

So first, I want to take a moment to discuss intentionality. While I absolutely value Author is Dead and respect fan interpretations of any work, I also recognize that narrative decisions in fiction don’t happen in a vacuum. The fact of the matter is, Ragyo was originally designed as a father but was later changed to a mother so the relationships Ragyo shares with her daughters wouldn’t seem so “murky,” “gross,” and “perverted.”

And... that disturbs me. The idea, as I see it, is that a father abusing his daughters is, more than appropriately, disgusting, but a mother abusing her daughters is somehow less bad. In fact, writer Kazuki Nakashima outright states that he didn’t want to explore the “murkiness” of these relationships, noting that he “didn’t want to mix [that] ‘murkiness’ into the battle.” My impression—which I understand might very well be wrong—is that there’s the feeling that female-on-female abuse just isn’t as serious or life changing as male-on-female abuse. There’s the feeling that you can just not talk about how devastating this sexual assault is, and that’s totally okay, because the perpetrator is a woman.

I’ve written previously—and perhaps most overtly here—that female-on-female abuse seems to get brushed off way more than it should be. It’s cute when a girl grabs another girl’s boobs, even when that other girl is noticeably and visibly unhappy. It’s adorable when a girl forces a kiss on another girl. Charming. Sweet. If you have a problem with it, you’re a homophobe.

And I think that’s so, so damaging. I wish I had some statistics (oh anon hounding me about facts, if you’re here), but I recall reading about how this mindset—this idea that girls just can’t hurt other girls—ends up keeping wlw in abusive, toxic relationships. And that’s not even mentioning how the notion that women are harmless and can’t do damage is a totally sexist one that hurts men and other genders, too!

With Ragyo, I actually think there’s a lot of powerful potential. Kill la Kill could have shown that there’s nothing sweet or cute or charming or sexy about female-on-female abuse. It could have shown that a mother sexually abusing her daughters is just as horrific as a father sexually abusing his daughters. Both good representation and bad representation are important, and I do see the value in an evil, awful lesbian; as noted above, the idea that girls can’t hurt other girls, that wlw can’t be bad, and that only men can cause harm is a dangerous mindset to have. I think it’s important to address it, particularly in anime, which attracts younger viewers.

In the past, I argued that Kill la Kill did address it. I wrote, “These scenes [depicting Ragyo’s abuses] are full of what may be typically used as fanservice—female nudity, fondling, touching—but they’re all incredibly disturbing, uncomfortable, painful, and tragic. The series makes no joke about just how violating these instances are.” I’ve seen similar arguments made today. 

But personally, now knowing more about the creation of Ragyo and being aware of the gushy, “Wow, this is so hot!”-type comments concerning the notorious bath scene in the official Trigger Magazine, I’ve since changed my tune. I think it’s undeniable that there is some “this isn’t so bad and maybe actually kinda sexy” appeal to Ragyo’s abuses, and that’s very, very disappointing to me. 

Further, being a survivor, I also find it incredibly hurtful. I’ve been too traumatized to even date ever since what happened to me happened, and to see situations like what I went through depicted in such explicit, detailed, fanservice-y ways... it disturbs me.

I understand that my opinion isn’t going to be shared by everyone, but I’ve come to believe in a “less is more” approach when it comes to these hard, real situations. Implication arguably holds far more power. For example, in all of my college film classes, Osama left one of the strongest impressions. In it, a young girl dresses as a boy to provide for her family. She’s eventually found out when she has her first period, and she’s then married off to a much older man. The ending scene of the film depicts the man washing himself just as the girl, in disguise as a boy, had been taught to do after having sex. Unlike in Kill la Kill, you don’t see the unspeakable scene at all. You know exactly what happened with just that one shot, and that one shot has stuck with me ever since. That’s a powerful, respectful way of portraying these very real, very horrific problems.

I know I cannot speak for every survivor, but I personally disagree with the notion that fiction should not discuss these topics. In my mind, fiction absolutely should because these things are real, because they happen. There could have been so much power in Ragyo’s depiction, in Satsuki’s depiction, in Ryuko’s. But the severity of Ragyo’s abuses is brushed off, and, as I see it, fetishized. That’s what I take issue with—not that there’s a potential evil lesbian, not that there’s a depiction of a mother abusing her daughters, but how this is depicted: not respectfully.

Referring more to my troublesome posts, I also want to address my point of how girls showing affection for other girls is often portrayed negatively in Kill la Kill, which could potentially send the message, “Hey, lesbians just be evilz.” Perhaps more than anything else, this hurt my readers the most. I wasn’t very clear and didn’t speak well, and I apologize.

Maybe surprisingly, I’ve also taken issue with the argument that Ryuko kissing Nui shows that a girl having an attraction towards another girl is bad. As I saw it, the kiss was simply a shocking way of showing that Ryuko is not at all herself; someone kissing the person they hate the most says more than words ever could. The scene isn’t an attack on wlw; the protagonist and the villain in this case just so happen to both be girls.

And I still believe this rebuttal. But I also have mixed feelings, which explains my previous responses. I once more have to question intentionality: if Ryuko were a boy, as shonen heroes so often are, would this scene have happened? Would Nui have been so flirty with him? Would there have been so much screen time and detail put into the kiss? Similar to my arguments about Ragyo, could there have been a potentially much more powerful scene whose power comes from its implications, not what it actually shows?

In all my years in the Kill la Kill fandom, I’ve seen reactions to that scene that find it hot, as “proving” that Ryuko/Nui is the only canon Kill la Kill pairing, and that see it in ways that I find to be unsavory. If the goal of that kiss is to cement the fact that Ryuko isn’t herself in the most shocking way possible, I could argue that it failed for a lot of viewers. In fact, one of my more looked-at posts is about why Ryuko kisses Nui. Its execution is confusing, and yes, I do believe it could potentially send some bad messages about wlw, even if that wasn’t intended.

Which, to bring this discussion back towards Ragyo, I want to take a moment to say that bad messages can be totally unintentional. As a writer myself, I think about potential bad unintentional messages all the time. For instance, in my aforementioned fairytale AU, I had a theme going (’cause it’s a fairytale and all): a healthy, beautiful baby is good, a healthy, ugly baby is bad, and an unhealthy, beautiful baby is good. Notice how there’s only one ugly baby, and they’re bad? I realized that this could subtly say something about ugly people, and I’ve decided to make a point about a heroic character being ugly in order to send the message that anyone can be good or bad, regardless of if they’re beautiful or ugly, healthy or unhealthy.

With Ragyo (and with Nui as well), I don’t at all think the intention is to show that girls loving other girls is wrong and bad. But the depiction, to me, leaves things to be desired. A lot of it feels fetishy, and the fact that Ragyo was purposely changed to a woman for “gross” concerns also greatly irks me.

And before I try to write up a conclusion of sorts, I do want to offer this: what if Ragyo stayed a man, but he was associated with white and rainbows as Ragyo is in the final cut? It was stated at this year’s Anime Expo that director Hiroyuki Imaishi has his heroic characters in black and villainous characters in white, which could possibly send messages like Darkness Isn’t Bad and the real villains are the ones who are perverting the purity, goodness, and so on that are associated with white. In the same way, if Ragyo were a man who seemed straight but had rainbow hair, it could send the message that the real villain is the one perverting this symbol of love and acceptance.

I don’t know. Just some food for thought.

Conclusion

I am bad at talking about Ragyo. I am bad at talking about serious topics. I’m sure this post proves as much.

But I hope I’ve done a better job of explaining my point of view than I did before. But if I didn’t—which, knowing me, is likely—I just want everyone to know that I don’t think you’re a reprehensible person if you like Ragyo. I don’t think Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. I don’t think she’s some terrible, awful character whom nobody can love. (At least, in regards to the writing. I hope there’s agreement that she’s a terrible, awful person.)

While I have problems with Ragyo’s depiction, I don’t think anyone is horrible and wrong if they don’t and resonate with it. I know I certainly like things that others find horrible and wrong, like the Ryuko/Senketsu pairing that I’ve been attacked left and right for, and I more than recognize and voice my own problems with it whilst still loving what I love (and politely disagreeing with the problems that others see that I don’t!)

I know I’m not good at this. But I hope I’ve conveyed my thoughts respectfully, and that, even if you strongly disagree, you know I welcome and am open to your thoughts and perspective, if you would like to share. That’s why I write these posts at all.

[babbushka]

Babbushka’s FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Hello everyone!

I thought it might be helpful for you all to see my answers to some frequently asked questions that I receive.

PLEASE CHECK MY BLOG DESCRIPTION TO SEE WHEN I AM ACCEPTING REQUESTS!

1.The Basics

Hello! I’m Babbushka, I’m a fanfic writer for the ADEU (Adam Driver Extended Universe). You can find my fics in my Masterlist, or on my AO3. I have a personal AU/self ship with Flip Zimmerman, which you can hear about or avoid, using the tag ‘personal au’. I am very anti-reylo.  

2. What do you write?

I write reader insert fanfiction for the Adam Driver Character Extended Universe. The characters I write for are:

Kylo Ren in a variety of AUs

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren (Any ‘canon’ Kylo Ren content is from a Canon Divergent!AU that I have, where Kylo has crushed the Resistance and reigns as Supreme Leader with his Empress (You))

Mob!Au

Medieval!AU

Edwardian AU aka BB!Kylo 

Biker Gang!AU

Ancient Emperor!AU 

Bond Villain!AU

Criminal Prosecutor!AU 

Flip Zimmerman 

Pale (from Burn This on Broadway), 

Clyde Logan 

Charlie Barber 

Paterson &, and/or Paul Sevier 

Sevier Twins AU

Various Saturday Night Live characters (like Cameron Bissel lol)

If a character isn’t listed, like Adam Sackler, Matt the Radar Tech, Jude, etc., that means I don’t write for them. Please do not ask me to write a character that is not listed here. 

3. What will you not write?

I will not write reylo, nor do i want any of my writing to be associated with reylo. Please don’t tag my fics as reylo if you reblog them, and please please please don’t insert Rey into the reader, it just makes me so incredibly uncomfortable and the ship fully disgusts me. I also will not write “””bendemption”””, any fics about “””Ben Solo”””, or any fics set in the D/LF canon of TROS. 

I will not write heavy angst (such as breakups or divorce between reader and the character, infidelity/cheating where the character is cheating on reader or vice versa, torture or violence against the reader, MCD/reader death, hurt-no-comfort, dub-con, non-con). I also won’t write ddlg/daddy kink, breeding kink, monster aus, or a/b/o.

4. WHEN IS [INSERT FIC HERE] UPDATING???

Whenever it’s ready to be updated. Please stop asking me this question you guys lol I do this in my free time for fun, I have a lot of factors that affect the timeliness of fic/chapter updates. I am so grateful that people like my writing but I am just one girl who is doing her best. I really appreciate everyone’s patience!

5. Can we send in prompt requests/submissions for Sinday?

YES – please check my description for when I am accepting prompts. Please don’t ask me if I’m accepting prompts if the description says I’m not. I keep it updated, I promise.

While I am always accepting prompt requests or submissions, I reserve the right to deny or delete any prompts I don’t want to write. I will usually always respond to the ask saying that I won’t write it, so you don’t have to wait around for something that never comes, because I do believe in being courteous.

Any prompts that request themes, tropes, kinks, or characters/ships that I have listed above will be deleted and you will be blocked. Please give me the respect of reading through my guidelines, if you wish for me to make content for you.

6. I’m confused about some of the terms you use and events you have on the blog. What’s sinday? Is it different than After Hours or Sleepover? What’s the difference between requests, headcanons, and thots?

Sinday = On the first Sunday of every month I open up prompt submissions. I always make an announcement post when sinday has arrived, and now with the new pin feature i’ll be keeping those announcement posts pinned to the top of the blog when it’s the appropriate day.  If you’re ever unsure, the description at the top of my blod says either “prompts are open!” or “prompts are closed”. When in doubt, just check there and you’ll know if I’m accepting submissions! 

Zannah After Hours = This is usually a part of Sinday, where later in the evening I post the nsfw/smutty content. This means prompts that people have sent in, oneshots that i’ve written of my own accord, and any art i’ve made that I want to share. But Zannah After Hours can happen any day of the week lol, especially during sleepovers. 

Sleepover = A chance for us all to hang out! I reblog a bunch of ask lists and ask games, people send in questions, or they send in asking for advice, or telling us about their day, or anything else they’d like to share. We talk about all sorts of things, it’s a great way for us as a community to just hang out and spend an evening together. I often will like put on a face mask and get snacks or something, or have a movie on in the background to help make it feel like we’re all sleeping over at my house and giggling together! 

Prompt Submissions (also called Imagines) = These are scenarios that you guys send in to me, that you want me to write. It’s usually only a sentence, an idea you guys have, and then I get inspired by that and write out anywhere from like 500-1k words based around the idea. These can be sweet, silly, angsty, or smutty! For example: “what would happen if Flip heard someone catcalling you?”

Headcanon requests = These are topics you guys send in that you’d like for me to go into some detail on in a casual way. It’s not fully fleshed out prose writing, but is instead a series of bullet points listing how I think the characters would respond to a scenario, or how they feel about a topic. For example: In what ways does Pale show he loves you?

Thots/General Shenanigans = These are just opinions that you guys have that you want to share with the world! It’s not expecting writing from me, it’s just you guys shouting out into the void and us all shouting back! For example: Clyde Logan is so thicc and I want to climb him like a tree.

7. Do you have a taglist for when you upload new writing?

Yes! Please see the link in my description, which will take you to a google form. You can select which characters you’d like to be notified for, as well as what type of writing (chapter fics/oneshots/prompt fills). 

8. Can you help me develop ideas for my fic?

While I am very flattered that you would consider me, I’m going to have to respectfully decline. I spend so much time developing ideas for my own professional writing and my hobby fanfic, that my brain tends to be fried and I’m of no help to anyone lol

9. Will you be my beta author?

Again, while I am very flattered, I will have to decline. Editing takes up most of my own free time, and I’m afraid I’m fried by the time I would be able to edit your stories.

10. Do you do RP threads?

Generally speaking, no.

11. Can I send you writing that I’ve done through the inbox/submissions box?

No. While I am flattered that you’d like to share writing with me, I really prefer to be tagged in a post you’ve made yourself, rather than posting your writing for you. You can tag my directly via the @ function, or you can use any of the following in the # section of the post:

for babbushka

userbabbushka

babstracks

I track these tags so if you include any of them, it’ll show up on my feed :)

Please understand that just because you tag me in something, doesn’t mean I’ll automatically share it. I only reblog writing I really enjoy, because I’m not really willing to compromise my personal standards lol. That’s not to say that if I don’t share your writing that it’s bad!! It’s just not for me, and that’s okay :)  

12. Do you have a masterlist?

Yes! I have compiled an ultimate masterlist that has links to my individual character masterlist posts. You can find those here, or via the link in my description if you’re on mobile, or via the link on my blog if you’re on desktop! 

13. I’m not sure if you’ve written this before but -- 

Please, please, please check the masterlists before sending in something if you’re unsure. Chances are, I’ve written it and you can read it right away, rather than wait for me to tell you it’s already been posted 6 months ago lol <333

[gamerlesbianangel]

Okay so now at least the Tumblr side of the Sonic fandom can agree on and/or joke that Sonic the Hedgehog is gay and ace just to spite Ken Penders. Here is a writer that knows nothing about LGBT+ and women’s rights and it shows.

To keep everyone in the loop without describing everything that’s been happening (because that’ll take forever).

This dude wrote Sonic—a cartoon character with a target audience of children (though the demographic is much more diverse) and a canonically 15-year-old character—as a womanizer. Many of the female characters in Penders writing were at one point “Sonic’s girlfriend”. And the way Sonic and other male characters treated female ones in the comics under his writing is gross and it is almost never addressed as a bad thing until an “evil character” does it. If a male character is redeemable in any way by Penders standards *cough* Geoffrey *cough*, he is okay with an older male raping a female minor, harassment of female characters, and treating the female characters as possessions or prizes to be won. Turns out, the people who created Sonic and work on Sonic titles didn’t like this kind of thing being represented in a children’s cartoon character like Sonic, who is supposed to be kind of a snarky, arrogant jerk, but has a strong sense of justice and enjoys helping other people.

Ultimately, he is supposed to be a heroic character, and he cannot be seen that way if he takes advantage of other people. (In an episode of Sonic X he does take advantage of other characters, but this is because he is scared and cornered in a situation those characters put him in. The situation? A cruise trip. They made him uncomfortable first, and ignored him when he told them no. They were aware of his inability to swim and still took him on a trip in the middle of the ocean, so Sonic is justified to try and escape in cunning ways. Before he even attempts to manipulate other characters, he endangers his own life trying to jump out at the sea hoping to fall on dry land! I believe the episode is titled “Blues Cruise”).

SEGA warns Archie and other media groups working with Sonic characters to back off on writing Sonic being in a relationship because it doesn’t match his character to slow down for anyone. Why should he settle on someone now? He’s 15!!!

So of course, in all his brilliance, Penders decides that this must either make Sonic a player (which would completely go against his character in nearly all canons, including the initial game canon), gay (which would be fine with me if it wasn’t forced representation but I have a feeling Penders is attempting to say that it would be wrong considering other homophobic things he’s said), or ace (which is an identity he then stated he doesn’t believe exists because “people want to pass on their family legacy”).

And honestly, I know that overall in the games the canon hints at Sonic and Amy being a possible match (though in most canons Sonic doesn’t appear to share these same romantic feelings as Amy), but just out of spite it would be cool to see a version of Sonic in one of the few side-canons identifying as gay, ace, or both. Of course, such a change in canon would have to be treated respectfully and treaded carefully to present the topic for all audiences. So Penders obviously can’t write it because he doesn’t understand the meaning of being charmingly subtle or graceful in his writing. This is the man who, when faced to acknowledge that writing statutory rape in a kid’s comic series is wrong (especially if the predator isn’t punished or called out for the harassment specifically), made excuses instead. These were often worded in a way that suggested that because it happens in the real world, it is an acceptable topic. Not the kind of writer that would understand how to kindly portray a gay or ace character.

Personally I would be interested in an “out” ace Sonic, as it seems to line up to the idea in canon that he’s not interested in romantic relationships or physical attachment. This, to me, would make the most sense for following through what has already been established for Sonic.

However, it would also please me to watch homophobes squirm at a version of Sonic that is gay (though this is not backed by any canon yet that I am aware of and would have to be carefully implemented over time for the community to adjust accordingly). I feel that a character like Sonic would want to weed out intolerant people from the fandom anyways...(Even if that’s just the representation/support I might want to see because I’m a fan of Sonic and I want the gaming community—like any other—to become more welcoming for LGBT+ and other minority groups).

From the Sonic lore and media I’ve consumed as a child growing up, I know he stands up for environmentalism, individual freedoms, and people/creatures less fortunate than him; why would human rights for women and LGBT+ in this case be any different?

(Being actual representation of that minority would just be a plus! Because screw Ken Penders.)

[ewingmadison]

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[fruitpaw]

Cloudtail/Brightheart second litter au?

As much as I love these babies and want them to have a lot of babies of their own, I’m still irked about the idea that they were basically 70 when they had their second litter.

I love the idea of them having more than one litter, but couldn’t that have happened much earlier? I mean, even if it was stated in the book that she was old to have kits it still doesn’t make it any better you know.

And so I’ve thought about an AU with a little different timeline that I’m going to share here!

(I might make a bigger post in the future for the whole AU but for now it’s just Cloud/Bright)

So here it goes:

• Instead of having their second litter in the late OotS, Brightheart gives birth to Ambermoon, Snowbush and Dewnose in the New Prophecy some time after the Journey 

• This adds to her jealousy of Cloudtail spending time with Daisy and her kits, because Brightheart feels like he doesn’t care about his own family.

• However Daisy reconciles with Brightheart by helping her with queen duties and the two become friends through that. Cloudtail is pleased with this, but does apologize to Brightheart for neglecting her and starts spending more time again with her and the kits.

• Through all of this Daisy’s kits become close with Brightheart and Cloudtail’s 2nd litter (Amberkit, Snowkit and Dewkit).

• The kits are made apprentices in-between Sunset and the Sight, with Sandstorm mentoring Snowpaw (sorry to take away your first apprentice Ivypool, but), Greystripe mentoring Ambermoon (to give him another chance after that disaster with Brackenfur. Seriously, did he ever mentor anyone else after that?) and Squirrelflight mentoring Dewpaw.

• They recieve their Warrior names in Outcast not too long after Daisy’s kits, becoming Ambermoon, Snowbush and Dewnose respectfully. Through all this time they are shown to be really close with Berrynose, Hazeltail and Mousewhisker.

• Later on Ambermoon becomes mates with Mousewhisker and Hazeltail with Snowbush (instead of that yucky first-cousin-basically-teenage-pregnant-thing they pulled with him and Lilyheart) 

• Cloudtail and Brightheart happily retire before OotS, with elders den already being habited by Dustpelt, Sandstrom, Greystripe, Brackenfur and Thornclaw (some of them die earlier to thin the group, but that’s a topic for another a post)

• Hazeltail has her kits first at the beginning of OotS while Ambermoon has hers later durng the arc.

• Dewnose sadly dies in the battle against the Dark Forest. Hazeltail still dies of greencough in-between the Last Hope and Bramblestar’s Storm and is dearly missed by her kits (named Froskit and Wrenkit, maybe there was more but they died as kits?) and her mate.

• Many of Ambermoon and Mousewhisker’s kits die of greencough as well, with only one kit, Dewkit, (named after Dewnose respectfully) surviving.

Might add stuff later on, but for now this is it. Feel free to share your thoughts if you like.

[prixmiumarchive]

Do you ever wish for a place to talk to other fanfiction writers? Do you get frustrated with the lack of commentary and text in a commentary-and-text-based medium of expression? Do your plot bunnies look like this fellow in the above, not-so-great banner? Do you miss the days when we called them plot bunnies? Has disenchantment with the state of the discussion of transformative works made you long for the days of dial-up, yahoo groups, and tiny fic archives run on GeoCities? Then this Discord server may be the solution for you!

Now, you might have questions. What is Discord? Isn’t it full of hentai? Do I have to install another application on my duct-taped-together computer? Can I do this on mobile? What, exactly, would make this have the potential for being anything better than the oft-abandoned, crickets-chirping concept of tumblr networks from a couple of years ago?

Those answers and more will be below the read-more. This is a living document which can be reblogged but whose content under the read-more may change. You can find this information and any other important updates to it in a static location at http://metamorprose.dreamwidth.org

Contents

Who this server is for.

How is it set up? 

What is Discord? 

What are Roles?

How do I set a Role or Roles for myself? 

What/why Metamorprose?

Rules for Metamorprose.

Punishments on Metamorprose. 

Disclaimers.

Who this server is for.

This server is intended for those who write fanfiction. If you have written 1,000 words or more of fanfiction, then you can assume this includes you, if you want it to. This is an all ages server with a few important exceptions. At present, there are three text-channels that are marked NSFW, meaning you will need to verify that you are of age to view them. Those text-channels are: nsfw-warren, nsfw-celebritiesrpf, and nsfw-musicbands. They are marked that way for these reasons: #nsfw-warren is a place to talk about writing fic that is rated M or E, #nsfw-celebritiesrpf and #nsfw-musicbands are marked that way because they are under increased moderation and discretion because they may deal with real persons who are living.

This server is open to individuals 13+ with the nsfw channels being restricted to those 18+. Any user found to enter an nsfw channel under the age of 18 will be subject to disciplinary action. Your curiosity and maturity is not wroth getting someone else in trouble.

Metamorprose is intended as a place for people who have a current or frequent interest in writing fanfiction. This does not mean that you must be writing at a certain pace or publishing a specific amount. Writer’s Block happens and so does real life. What this does mean is that if you are just a casual fanfiction reader who rarely writes that this might not be the most fun place for you. If you are an avid reader who has a lot of recs, even if you don’t write, you are welcome to join and see what happens. Any specific entry requirements or rules will be implemented and updated on an as-needed basis. For now, it is up to your discretion whether or not you would be a good fit.

How is it set up?

Metamorprose is vaguely rabbit themed in honor of ‘plot bunnies’ and their legacy. You do not have to care about or like rabbits. It was just the first naming scheme that came to mind.

At the time of invitation launch, the following are the text-channels on the Metamorprose Discord server:

#foxden - off-topic and social chat #rabbithole - where you go to role yourself #thewarren - fanfiction writing/process discussion #nsfw-warren - same as above for M/E-rated material #recs - rec fics by others #selfpromo - rec/promote fics by yourself #beta - seek/offer beta services #ficexchanges - yuletide? uh... anything else? promote and discuss here #catnip - PG13 very off-topic thread, stuff you just had to share that isn’t conducive to regular conversation #inspiration - aesthetics, music, etc. you want to share and chat about what it makes you feel or reminds you of #groupwatching - a place to set up sharing your favorite shows and movies and whatever else, through rabb.it or another service (not affiliated with this vague bunny theme) And text-channels for which you must have the appropriate role assigned to enter where you can discuss fanfiction writing and ideas and related topics for a given genre/medium. These subdivisions are based on Archive Of Our Own’s division of the same with some alteration.

#animemanga #booksliterature #cartoonscomicsgn #nsfw-celebritiesrpf #movies #nsfw-musicbands #theatre #tvshows #videogames #webseries These may change an the adminabun (me) is always looking for constructive suggestions on just about any aspect of my life.

What is Discord?

Discord advertises itself as “Free Voice and Text Chat for Gamers.” In addition to self-proclaimed gamers, it is also a place where one might find those who are interested in “memes” as a way of life and anime/manga fans with some overlap with tech-savviness. These are all generalizations, though.

Discord, in my personal experience, is very similar to Skype but with many more options. It is also, at present, ad-free, and to my knowledge plans to stay that way. If you are interested, the Discord team has provided a comparison chart of their features: https://discordapp.com/features

If you do game, do voice chat, or anything else, then it is my understanding that it really is a great application to use for that. For simple, text-based creatures like myself who rarely play games, however, it is a perfectly serviceable place to keep organized chats and PMs, all under one roof.

Another great thing about Discord is that you have several options to use it. You can use it in your browser simply by pressing “Open Discord” on the app’s homepage. You can use it in a desktop program/application, available for download on the app’s homepage. You may also use their mobile app, which to my knowledge is available for both iOS and Android. (I use Android, so if you have iOS issues with it, not my area.)

The application’s website is here: https://discordapp.com/

What are Roles?

A “Role” is a discord feature and term that determines aspects of a user’s status, permissions, and abilities within a server and its individual channels. For the purposes of Metamorprose, you should choose the one or two most-relevant genre/media roles and the posting medium (where you put your fic most-often) for yourself. The genre/media role will determine your username color, and if anyone hates their genre’s color I would be open to putting it to a poll. If you have more than one genre, you will inherit the color of the genre that comes first in the alphabet. AO3/Fanfiction.net/tumblr roles do not impact your name color.

The currently-available self-assignable roles are:

genre/media: - Anime & Manga - Books & Literature - Cartoons & Comics & Graphic Novels - Celebrities & Real People - Movies - Music & Bands - Theatre - TV Shows - Video Games - Web Series

posting medium: - AO3 - Fanfiction.Net - tumblr

How do I set a Role or Roles for myself? 

First, you need to be in the text-channel #rabbithole. I am just learning about bot usage for this venture, but at present I use a bot called Nadeko. She is a bot who sits there on the channel at all times and will, unless she is having server downtime, respond to your commands. The commands you need to know for self-assigning roles are:

you: .lsar

Sending the message ‘.lsar’ will show you a list of self-assignable roles.

you: .iam ROLE

Sending the message ‘.iam ROLE’ will assign the role typed in place of ROLE to you. For example, if I want to assign myself the Anime & Manga role, I type this exactly: ‘.iam Anime & Manga’. Nadeko will message you back when the deed is done. If It doesn’t work immediately, try again in a few minutes.

you: .iamnot ROLE

Sending the message ‘.iamnot ROLE’ will unassign the role typed in place of ROLE to you. For example, let’s say I am finished with my current Anime & Manga fic project or am moving on to another fic for now. I can type exactly this: ‘.iamnot Anime & Manga’ and Nadeko will tell me when she has unassigned the role from me.

Please note that using these roles most effectively is not assigning yourself every single one of the genre/media roles that you sort of like. Having one or two genre/media roles active at once will make it easy for people to see what you are currently interested in writing, are writing, etc. There are plenty of places you can ping-pong from liked-topic to liked-topic at the speed of your fingertips, tumblr included. This server will be the greatest resource to you if you use roles and the genre-specific text-channels judiciously. You can alter your roles as much as you want, within reason, so you are not stuck just because you have an interest shift. (Trust me, I am the queen of multifandom lack of focus.) Just don’t abuse Nadeko. She is a free service who does not belong to me.

What/why Metamorprose? 

I just wanted a name for the server that was kind-of unique and meant something.

“Metamorphose” is a verb meaning to change the form or nature of;  transform.

“Prose” is what most of us write in, striving for the middle ground between purple and beige.

In the age-old fandom tradition, therefore, it is a portmanteau for the process of creative transformative works: metamorprose.

Rules for Metamorprose. 

1. Treat others with courtesy and respect. Do not insult a person, disagree respectfully, and only offer constructive criticism.

2. Do not bait or otherwise goad another user into misbehavior. This will be considered misbehavior as well. If you are having an issue with a user, please come to the adminabun or any assigned mods to deal with it.

3. Do not post NSFW material in non nsfw channels. This does NOT include posting clearly marked M/E-rated fics in fic rec channels.

4. Keep on-topic within reason in the text channels that are not the #foxden. Reasonable and brief rabbit trails are fine, but don't turn them into niche off-topic channels.

5. Use good sense. Use discord's features appropriately. If you don't know how to or if you can do something, Google it first. If you can't figure it out from the first page of Google results, ask someone you trust. The adminabun is willing to take your questions about discord operation, within reason, after you have tried googling it yourself.

6. Non NSFW-channels should be kept at a PG-13 tone. There are no nsfw or profanity filters set up on the non-nsfw channels, so this is based on the honor system and abuse of this WILL get you warned.

7. Theft or plagiarism will merit a warning or an immediate ban, depending on context and severity, at admin/mod discretion. 8. Do not direct people directly to your patreon or ko-fi page. What you do in PMs with friends is up to you but do not otherwise promote monetary gain for yourself on this channel.

9. Do not offer financially-compensated commissions on this channel for fic or for art.

10. More rules may be added and will be announced, but ignorance of a rule is not an excuse to not follow it.

On Dreamwidth: http://metamorprose.dreamwidth.org/334.html

Punishments on Metamorprose. 

Egregious and flagrant violation of any of the above rules or other abusive behavior may be cause for immediate ban. However, the general rule is that 3 warnings result in a softban. This will ban you but will allow you to rejoin the channel again after you’ve had a cool-down. 5 warnings will result in a permanent ban.

Disclaimers. 

This Discord server is not affiliate with any of the following: Archive Of Our Own, the Organization for Transformative Works, Fanfiction.net, tumblr, rabb.it, dreamwidth, yuletide, or any other unnoted, official organization. It is a project by the fan and fanfiction writer whose Discord tag is Prix#9110.

By clicking the following link, you agree to be subject to the aforementioned rules and policies, whether you read them or not: https://discord.gg/z3FHEYQ

[jessicakmatt]

The 20 Best Things You Learned About Music in 2019

The 20 Best Things You Learned About Music in 2019: via LANDR Blog

Congratulations on all the ways you improved your music this year. From music theory to sampling, to home recording, and promoting your music there’s always something new to learn with the LANDR Blog.

There was so much new material that it’s time for a refresher on the best topics you learned about in 2019.

So in case you missed it here’s a few posts that especially useful this year—chosen by you.

You dove into advanced music theory

Creating your best tracks isn’t possible without some theory knowledge.

But music theory gets a bad reputation for being dry and inaccessible.

To help you grow your knowledge here’s a few posts about music theory from 2019 that weren’t boring or overly complicated at all.

Music Theory: The Basics You Need to Make Better Music

This post is the perfect place to jump into the world of music theory.

By the end you’ll know where to get started with the fundamentals. It’s the perfect to brush up on the basics and work on what you still need to learn when it comes to theory.

Extended Chords: How to Add Color to Your Songs With Extensions

If you’re stuck in a rut with your songwriting and you want to add life to your chords in 2020, this is a great place to start.

This post covered everything you need to know about adding interesting harmonic color to your chords.

What is Rhythm: How Time, Beat and Meter Work in Music

Rhythm is deep musical concept.  It seems simple, but any artists might struggle to master the basics, especially at the beginning.

This article dove into the fundamentals of understanding and using rhythm, beats, and meter in music.

You got set up to record at home

It’s never been easier and more affordable to set up a home studio and record high-quality tracks.

This year you learned absolutely everything there is to know about designing and outfitting a home studio. 

Here’s what we covered:

Home Studio Guide: How to Build a Home Recording Studio Setup

If a home studio is something you like to create in your home this is the place to start.

Learn what computer, DAW, headphones, monitors, microphones, cables are most important to have when building your home studio.

How to Take of Your Gear

If you don’t treat your gear well it won’t last very long.

If keeping your gear working for the longterm is something you are concerned about, this article covers tips and tricks for ensuring your expensive recording lasts.

Microphone Types: 4 Different Mics and How to Use Them

Do you know the four major types of microphones?

In this article, you’ll learn how dynamic, large and small diaphragm condensers, and ribbon microphones work in the studio and what instruments they work best for.

Acoustic Treatment: How to Get a Better Sounding Room

One of the more misunderstood aspects of building a home studio is acoustic treatment.

This guide demystifies the acoustic treatment process and gives great tips for improving the sound of a home studio on a reasonable budget.

You took on tough topics

No one said creating music is easy.

Sometimes it takes a little wakeup call to accept that you need more knowledge or practice time.

Here’s some articles that asked you to dig deep, look within, and get better at creating meaningful art.

Can Music and AI Coexist? 8 Predictions from Mutek Artists

Music and emerging technology have always had an important relationship.

But with AI becoming more and more prevalent in society how will it affect music?

Here’s how eight Mutek festival artists see the future of Music with AI.

The Hard Truths Series

Hard Truths is where tough topics get tackled. 

This ongoing series takes an honest look at mistakes beginner music producers often make.

Get honest advice about mixing, arrangement, plugins, and getting better at music production.

Here’s all the posts from the Hard Truths series so far:

Hard Truths: You Can’t Afford the Sound You Want—Yet

Hard Truths: A Good Mix Takes Work

Hard Truths: Your Arrangement is More Important Than Your Mix

Hard Truths: The Only Way to Get Better At Mixing Is Practice

Hard Truths: Free Plugins are Holding You Back

Studio Health: 5 Ways to Bring Wellness into Your Workflow

Long hours in the studio, high volume sound, stress and creative anxiety will take a toll on your physical and mental health.

Keeping your mind and body healthy is so important for putting your best work into the world.

This article looked at the best strategies artists can use to make their studio workflow healthier.

You learned how to sample

Sampling is an essential part of music production for so many genres. 

But knowing how to sample in your DAW while respecting copyright law can be pretty confusing.

This year you learned the ins and outs of using samples in your tracks, getting clearance, and finding royalty-free samples.

Sampling Music: The Complete Guide

If sampling is something want to use in your tracks but you aren’t sure where to get started, this is a great guide to look through.

Learn where to find samples legally, how to use them in your DAW, and get creative ideas for using samples in your track.

The Sample and Hold Series

Sampling opens many creative avenues but it can be intimidating when getting started. 

Even if you have access to a huge library of royalty-free samples, knowing how to sort through them and find something useful isn’t so simple.

This year’s Sample and Hold series explored samples generated by Selector,  LANDR’s AI sample recommendation tool.

It’s a sort of digital crate-digging session that dives into the inspiration behind selected samples, and how they could be used in a track.

Sample and Hold: Library Music, Hang Drum and Reverse Audio

Sample and Hold: Lo-fi Rhodes, FM Leads and Sidechain Pads

Sample and Hold: Modular Synth, Field Recording and Gated Reverb

  Stay tuned for more Sample and Hold posts in 2020!

What is Looping and How to Use it in Your Production

Looping is one of the most powerful production tools in music for any genre.

This article looked at how to get started with looping and tips and tricks to to use it in your music.

How Sample Clearance Works: The Business of Borrowing Sound

Sampling has always been a controversial topic in the music world.

Copyright laws and streaming services make it dangerous to use uncleared samples.

Of course, you can always use a royalty-free sample library, but if you don’t you’ll have to get your samples cleared.

This article gave a clear explanation of modern copyright law and explained how artists can obtain clearance for their samples.

You got better at promoting your music

What’s the point of making a track if no one is going to hear it?

Once you finish your release you need to put together a plan to build an audience and deliver your music to them.

This year you learned how to promote your music both online and offline. Here’s a few posts about music promotion that stuck out this year.

How to Promote Your Music

If you’re building a promotion strategy to market an album or single, this is the place to start.

This year we put together the ultimate guide to music promotion.

You learned everything you needed to know about getting verified, generating press, growing a fanbase, and sharing on and offline.

How to Contact Blogs and Playlists in 6 Steps​

There’s a degree of etiquette that comes with contacting anyone from the media.

Yes, you want these gatekeepers to hear your tracks, but there’s a way to do approach these platforms respectfully.

Before you press send to a big email send out be sure to check out this great article.

6 Reasons Why Offline Music Promotion Will Always Win

There’s so much talk about promoting your music online, the value of offline promotion is getting overlooked.

There’s nothing more valuable than a two-minute conversation and a handshake after a good live set.

And who doesn’t pay attention to a personal recommendation from a friend?

This article unpacked the reasons why offline promotion might be more important than promotion in the digital realm.

2020 Visions

This new year let’s get into it! You’re going to make the best tracks you’ve ever made in 2020.

Don’t forget that you can always come back here for more inspiration, knowledge, or advice.

There will always be something new to learn here about theory, music production, promotion, sampling, or just about anything you can imagine.

We can’t wait to see where this new year takes you and your music.

The post The 20 Best Things You Learned About Music in 2019 appeared first on LANDR Blog.

from LANDR Blog https://blog.landr.com/best-of-2019/ via https://www.youtube.com/user/corporatethief/playlists from Steve Hart https://stevehartcom.tumblr.com/post/189955158889