#if i cannot get enough representation i will make it myself!

[yardsards]

people really seemed to enjoy my other posts about amity with alador's nose, and these edits are kinda fun to create and don't take very long, so here are some more (season 1 edition)

also i tried out editing the twins too in that last one but it didn't end up looking as good as i wanted

s2 edition here

[blindbeta]

I've noticed that you are interested in stories with multiple blind characters and often propose adding more blind characters to a story as a solution. I really struggle with this because it's not as simple as that -- stories don't have infinite narrative space. The idea that every story has a large cast is influenced by the prevalence of long serialized media in fandom: webcomics, TV shows, etc. But many writers (myself included) write a lot of novellas and short stories which often only have a few characters -- maybe even only 1 or 2! Even novels don't usually have huge expansive casts -- maybe 5 main characters with some additional side characters.

Considering this, I don't understand how it's realistic for every story (or even, say, 50% of stories) to have multiple blind characters (without it feeling forced). This is compounded by the fact that most blogs that talk about other forms of representation say the same! So if I write a 2-character short story and the protagonist is a blind Latino man, does the second character also have to be a blind Latino man? It just doesn't make sense! This is just a general problem I've noticed in discussions around representation -- there's an assumption that every cast will have 10+ characters and narrative space to develop those characters, even though that's not realistic for most narrative forms.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Writing Multiple Blind Characters in Short Stories

Hi Anon! Surprise. I write short stories as well. I have experience with this. I have never felt like my blind characters were forced or unrealistic, even with having several of them in the same story. I’ll try to explain what might help you.

First, the idea that multiple blind characters is forced or unrealistic comes from ableism. Think about why you feel there is a limit on disabled characters. If you can create stories, I would hope you are creative enough to consider the possibility that multiple blind characters could exist in the same place and time. Challenging this barrier opens up more possibilities, allowing you to explore different types of blindness, different reactions to it, different upbringings, and multiple ways of living, adapting, and navigating being blind.

Second, blind characters need access to their own community. This is where they learn how to be blind. This where they get support. This is where they might find understanding and belonging. You can find more information about community here in an excellent reblog. Also, here.

As you mentioned, I often suggest adding more blind characters when writers insist upon using stereotyped portrayals. Having multiple characters with different experiences helps to make your story more realistic and nuanced, contrary to what people might implicitly believe. Having more than one blind character is something I highly recommend because it helps with not having all your representation rest on the shoulders of one character.

For example, if you are worried a main character who has cloudy eyes might reinforce the idea that all blind people have cloudy eyes, having another blind character with a different experience may help. If one of your blind characters is naive and innocent, you might have another blind character who is brash, displays a lack of trust in others, and has a lot of shocking stories. Maybe they’re in a rock band together. They met while playing blind football (aka soccer) on a middle school team. They bonded over their pet cats and sour patch kids.

Or something.

Another important thing to remember when writing is that you have control over the story. Too many writers come to me feeling stuck because they feel they cannot change their story while also wanting to incorporate my suggestions. This makes it challenging to address implicit bias or stereotypes, much less guide writers in going in different directions.

Additionally, I feel uncomfortable with the complaints about other blogs in this ask. I feel like this isn’t really about me, nor is it something I can comment on. I will say that it sounds as if a bunch of blogs dedicated to helping people write marginalized characters are mentioning some of the same things. They are probably doing so for a reason.

However, while it helps, writing multiple blind characters won’t improve every story, which I explained in my review of the book Blind. I was not impressed with this book. I did not feel that the four blind characters were very good, nor did having them help with offsetting the portrayal of blindness as a miserable experience.

Conversely, one of my favorite blind characters is Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Despite being the only blind character in the show, the writers did a good job with her. Would I have liked her to meet more of her community as she travels with the Gang? Absolutely. Even though I like her, she still never had access to her community after being isolated by her parents for so long.

So, no, you don’t need to have multiple blind characters if the suggestion bothers you this much. I even provided good examples of what to do, what not to do, and times where my typical advice was not as helpful for the resulting story.

However, please consider where these feelings stem from. Consider the origins of the idea that having multiple blind characters is unrealistic. Using the example you provided in your question, I wonder, would you say the same if both your characters were white and abled? Is there any way you can challenge the fear of seeming unrealistic? What about being considered unrealistic bothers you so much?

You don’t necessarily need to have characters in the story for them to exist. Even background characters can help. I will try to give some ideas for this:

Does your blind character have family they can talk about or remember? Are any of their family members blind?

Do they have any friends? Just because the friends aren’t in the story doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all.

Does the blind character have any formative memories or flashbacks?

Does the character who isn’t blind know any blind folks?

Your characters should have lives outside of the story. They should have memories and experiences that made them who they are. This is where you can have other blind characters. Perhaps this is how your blind character can have a community.

However, I would still like to see more blind characters interacting with each other. This is what I want as a blind person. If you don’t want to go that direction, that’s fine.

I hope this helps.

[maebird-melody]

I am making my friend watch the new Superman show with me and we just watched the most recent episode with Doctor Ivo. At the end, Jimmy is sad because his two best friends walk off all romantically into the sunset. I think nothing describes difference between the aroace and allo experience better than our very different responses to that scene.

My response was that Jimmy’s needs as a friend were clearly being disregarded in favor of the “more important” romantic feelings developing between Clark and Lois. And despite him shipping the two of them, it doesn’t change that it always hurts when you get third wheeled or left out by your closest friends. But I was confident that once the romantic tension settled and the three of them had a chance to talk, Lois and Clark would start making space for their friend again.

Meanwhile, my allosexual friend’s response was that “they need to give Jimmy somebody.” That the way to cure his sadness was to give him a romantic partner. Which was a response that shocked me, considering that my friend is very on board with my desire to maintain our close friendship after their marriage while not pursuing a romantic relationship myself.

And I cannot stress enough that finding a romantic partner cannot be the only solution to feeling sad when your best friends get together. What kind of message does that send to asexual or aromantic people? That you will lose all your friends to romance and you won’t have any fulfilling relationships yourself unless you also get with the program?

I am curious to see which direction the show takes this, but Jimmy seems like a prime candidate for either ace or aro representation. I hope that this can be a moment to help people untrain the knee-jerk response that romance isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to relationship ills.

[peonycats]

RACEBENDING NATIONAL PERSONIFICATIONS: A TREATISE

DISCLAIMERS:

I AM NOT WHITE, I AM A POC. I am not writing this because I’m a butthurt white person who gets pissy when someone makes my white faves nonwhite and thus unrelatable to me for ‘some’ reason.

I AM NOT PERSONALLY ATTACKING ANY INDIVIDUALS WHO RACEBEND OR IMAGINE THEIR NATIONS TO HAVE A DIFFERENT ETHNICITY THAN WHAT THEY DO IN CANON; ON A SIMILAR NOTE, DO NOT ATTACK SUCH INDIVIDUALS FOR ME. This is a discussion of general fandom trends and a larger phenomenon, the issue I am talking about cannot be solved on an individual to individual basis.

I AM NOT TRYING TO STOP FIRST NATIONS PEOPLE FROM RECLAIMING THEIR NATIONS. As I am not First Nations myself, I would not wish to deny what these individuals emotionally and mentally reap from reclaiming their nations.

I AM NOT THE “POC AREN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN AND SEE THEMSELVES IN THEIR FAVES” POLICE; I AM NOT YOUR MOM, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Again, this is a discussion of fandom trends and a larger phenomenon. I think it’s almost always worth examining why we do the things we do and the reasons behind a trend.

I AM NOT AGAINST RACEBENDING IN GENERAL. This is specifically an essay on racebending in nationverse Hetalia and other personified nations fandoms.

PREFACE

As stated before in my disclaimers, this essay is not intended to be a condemnation of individuals who participate in racebending. Rather, I intend to make a macro-critique of wider structures and patterns. For this reason, this essay is not accusing anyone engaging in racebending of holding any specific belief. I cannot stress enough how much I do not know you, the hypothetical reader who engages in racebending. 

Again, my intent is to critique wider structures and patterns.

This essay is a conversation I would like to have with other POC and other marginalized groups, especially POC based in white, Western countries. Thus, I ask people not included in the above groups to refrain from weighing in on this.

ALTERNATIVE GOOGLE DOC LINK HERE

TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Difference in Reception for Racebent versus Non-Racebent Characters

The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations

The State of POC Representation in Hetalia

The Assumption of Interchangeability in POC Experience

The Myth of Multiculturalism

“It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?"

Conclusion

The Difference in Reception for Racebent versus Non-Racebent Characters

I will start this essay off with an acknowledgement of my station in the Hetalia fandom and how it uniquely equips me to talk about this topic – I am very fortunate to enjoy a follower base that primarily follows me for non-Western characters, whether they be canonical or my own original characters. As someone who mostly posts non-Western characters, I can confirm that there is a wider disparity in reception between drawings of my white characters and non-white characters. The following example is not from myself, but from the artist miyuecakes who similarly focuses on predominantly non-white, non-Western countries. You can see there is a drastic gap in the amount of notes that post focused on five nations considered to be non-Western versus a drawing of Female America.

Stating this fact of the fandom is fairly noncontroversial. I would also assert that the following statement is equally true, however given recent reception, is far more controversial: “There are far more instances of racebent canonically white/Western characters, which receive far more traction than their non-racebent counterparts, whether canonical or not.”

I want to make clear what my statement is not saying:

Racebending is only done by white people seeking to score clout and diversity points without having to care about canon non-white characters. In fact, the vast majority of racebending in the fandom is done by POC looking for representation; given the amount of white canon nations compared to any other nation, POC who engage in racebending see it as a way of “evening” the disproportionate overrepresentation of white countries.

POC who engage in racebending are doing so to score clout and diversity points with a white audience. Refer to my above point.

Racebent canonically white characters are met with no controversy or racist/bigoted vitriol. It is fairly well known that there have been multiple harassment campaigns, particularly on Twitter, against artists and editors who’ve engaged in racebending even outside of the Hetalia fandom: see the Black Anya edit, Thumin’s artwork and resulting hate. POC being visibly POC in online spaces will always garner backlash.

On a similar note, I am not including POC cosplayers cosplaying white or light-skinned characters in my definition of racebending. Being angered by POC who cosplay characters of a different complexion is blatantly racist; anyone who is angered by this has nothing of value to add and not worth arguing with.

I am a bitter artist who is mad that I don’t receive enough notes on my posts with non-racebent characters compared to posts about racebent white characters. As stated earlier, I am grateful for the audience I’ve cultivated who specifically follow me for non-racebent non-Western content; I am also more than aware that my content is not what people who seek out racebent content are looking for, and have no interest in changing either my content or their tastes. The last thing I would wish to do is to label POC creators who engage in racebending as “the enemy” and POC creators who don’t as “my side.”

With that out of the way, I bring up this observation because I think it’s worth asking ourselves, POC specifically, the following questions: Why? Why is there this discrepancy in frequency and reception between these kinds of characters and content? Why do people racebend in lieu of focusing on existing POC and creating their own non-white characters?

The easy answer most would give is because white characters are over-represented and given more screen time and attention in the canon, so people, especially POC, will become attached to them and create variations of them that hit closer to home for them; this is especially the case if you are a POC who has had experiences living as a minority in a Western country. Some POC may also use racebending as a way to subvert national myths that have historically excluded people of color for a variety of racist, imperialist reasons. I know I used to subscribe towards a depiction of non-white passing America and Canada for this very reason.

In the rest of this essay I would like to examine and critique the practice of racebending national anthropomorphisms traditionally and typically depicted as white in the context of Hetalia and by extension other media involving similar premises. This essay argues that while racebending may be harmless for most other anime, Hetalia – by virtue of its content centering real life nations – carries political implications that are not necessarily appropriate.

I stress again that I can’t stop you or what anybody in the Hetalia fandom does. I do not have that kind of power nor the will to do such a thing. All I ask is for you to listen to the following with an open mind, and if there’s only one thing you take away from this, I hope it’s to realize that POC in particular have valid reasons to dislike racebent depictions of white nations; holding such a stance does not make them anti-POC representation and somehow no longer POC and instead, a member of the white oppressor class.

The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations

Firstly, I repeat that a series about personified nations is deeply political and every creative choice carries political and socio-cultural ramifications, whether intentional or not and made by the creator or the fan. Even if you mostly interact with Hetalia in a depoliticized context, others may not, and given that nationverse Hetalia is about personified nations, this is perfectly reasonable. 

Let us look into the canon material of Hetalia- It is shown that nations on average have close ties to their governments, viewing them as their bosses and carrying out actions for them. We are shown that there are nations who go against the orders of their governments, such as Germany; this does not mean all nations follow in that pattern, however, and there are many who are in lockstep with their governments and their actions.

Therefore, for individuals whose ethnic groups and nations have suffered great harm from oppressor nation-states (Philippines v. United States, Indonesia v. Netherlands, India v. England), it is not irrational for them to be unsettled by their oppressor being racebent- especially when said oppressor nation-state is depicted as being the same ethnicity as the very group(s) they marginalized. This is uncomfortable for multiple reasons: 

There is an implication that a member of a marginalized group possibly chose to take part in atrocities and misdeeds that the said marginalized group historically not the major perpetrator behind. In more egregious cases, a member of a marginalized group willingly chose to commit atrocities and misdeeds on a large scale against their own group.

The oppressor state personification was forced by their government to commit these grievous acts of harm against members of other marginalized groups/their own marginalized groups; thus, the personification of the nation-state, the people, has little to no culpability as an oppressor, and is instead made into a fellow victim of their own government. 

This deflects blame from the embodiment of the state of being an oppressor. The suggestion here is that the state is somehow completely separate yet intertwined with the government – it was simply the government who perpetrated the crimes… the people were just unwillingly complicit. This can come across as an erasure/rosewashing of the very purposeful policies used to harm and disadvantage colonized/oppressed groups.

This can also erase the fact that in many cases, the people gave the government’s actions their tacit approval whether it was through whole-hearted enthusiasm or apathy towards the suffering of others. 

In the case that the racebent nation’s minority ethnicity was historically involved in such acts, this involves highly sensitive conversations about minorities’ complicity in crimes and assimilation into the white/majority order (e.g. Chinese and East Asian settlers in Hawaii after America’s illegal annexation, Korean collaborators with the Japanese annexation of Korea, African American soldiers in the Philippines); these are extremely touchy subjects that should be had within the relevant ethnic groups, and should not be appropriated by outsiders, particularly white people, especially for fandom purposes.

(I will discuss insiders racebending nation-states to their ethnic group that have suffered mistreatment and oppressed by said nation-states in “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”)

Additionally, racebending may end up justifying those very same crimes, especially in the case of settler colonialism. For example, during French rule of Algeria, the French government began a program of confiscating Algerian land from indigenous Algerians and giving them to French and European settlers. Over the course of two centuries, more and more land was taken away from indigenous Algerians, forcing them to move to the margins of society, where they were barred from accessing employment, higher education, and the other societal amenities. 

Many would be able to identify how personifying Algeria as a white, French individual would be erasing indigenous Algerians and implying that the French settlers represent all of Algeria. However, conversely, making France an Algerian man is also playing into colonial French propaganda. The French viewed Algeria as part of France and the French homeland itself, unique even among other French African colonies, and made plans to make Algeria a full-fledged French province, or department. To make the national personification of France Algerian then, is to suggest that this belief was and is correct, that the Algerians are a part of the colonial core of France, even if the intention is to represent the modern day Algerian diaspora in France.

IMPORTANT: I will expand on the politics of representing diaspora populations in the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”

Given all of these reasons for why POC may justifiably react negatively to a racebent white nation personification, some may argue against these with:

“Why is it that when the nation is white, they never have to deal with any of these heavy discussions of imperialism, bigotry, oppression, etc, but when they’re racebent they suddenly have to? Why are they suddenly politicized when they’re racebent?”

My response to that is that they were politicized, even when they were white because the act of personifying a nation is inherently political; to ignore a white nation’s history of oppression is a politically charged move in of itself. Are we really depoliticizing POC when we racebend a white nation and try to maintain that same ‘depoliticization’ and omission of historical oppression but this time for a POC face? To racebend a white nation is to refuse to contend with the contradiction of transforming an oppressor class to the very group they marginalize - making racebending an inherently political act. It is not necessarily that whiteness is unpolitical but rather that an active refusal to deal with this contradiction makes the political implications much more obvious.

Additionally, this rebuttal raises another question- Were we to completely forget about a character’s background as the personification of an oppressor state and the political weight of that, would that truly solve the problem of POC being politicized? I don’t think so- In the current world we live in, POC are always political. But exclusively racebending oppressor states makes no attempt to depoliticize non-Western POC states, creating a divide between POC that get to be “depoliticized” and POC who don’t based on their proximity to the West.

The State of POC Representation in Hetalia

Some would argue with the points of my last paragraph saying that I am not including POC who both engage in racebending but also create non-Western POC OCs; if equal attention is given to both, there would be no division between racebent Western POC who get to be humanized and non-Western POC who don’t, right?

To answer this we must acknowledge wider trends in racebending in Hetalia. Consider the following: When somebody has a North African! Romano, how many other North African nations (canon or non-canon) do they show appreciation for? Create content for? Expound the same amount of mental and creative energy for? Furthermore: If they do have another North African nation(s) they create content for, are they allowed to exist as their own separate beings, and not purely exist to be North African! Romano’s tie to North Africa?

Chances are, Romano is reduced to being the token brown character in a largely white cast and isn’t allowed to ever exist without whiteness surrounding him. This is a very diaspora experience, but I find it unfortunate that in a piece of media that enables us to explore any number of cultures and experiences over all of time and history, we (and I’m including myself as another POC who grew up in a primarily white environment) are unable to imagine ourselves outside of this setting and celebrate ourselves without having to exist against a white mainstream. Stories about white engulfment are allowed to exist and should be told, but why is this so common? Why do these stories disproportionately outnumber POC stories where whiteness is minute or absent?

As my audience is intended to be mostly POC, I will not elaborate on the following scenario too much, but I will ask us to scrutinize the ethics of it. What about cases where white individuals racebend some of their white favorite characters and position them as POC representation in lieu of actually focusing on POC, non-Western nations, canon or not? Does this not have implications about what kinds of POC and diversity are considered more palatable and appealing?

Furthermore, when another North African nation does exist alongside racebent Romano, their character and depiction is almost always heavily dependent on their relationship to Romano, a Western nation. This still perpetuates the same inequality I was talking about earlier where POC nations are humanized based on their proximity to the West, whether because they personify a Western nation or happen to have a relationship with a Western nation.

We should not just be talking about having “more” non-white representation, but also the quality of it. It is completely understandable why some POC may not be satisfied with the representation most racebent content provides, even beyond the reasons outlined previously; this type of representation excludes POC who do not have a relationship to the West, and is still largely focused on the West. 

IMPORTANT: I am not saying that contact with or influence from the West makes POC somehow “less POC” or that stories from Western-based diaspora are a “diluted” form of representation. I will expand on this in the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism.”

“Well if it’s not good enough for those POC, then they should just mind their business and make their own representation! There’s plenty of non-racebent content out there!”

Many POC do exactly that- creating their own representation without racebending. However, as established earlier, racebent white characters receive far more attention and feedback compared to canonical non-white characters, despite the fact that both depictions fulfill the purpose of “representation.” This can be especially disheartening in a fandom that already heavily tokenizes canon POC nations, whether it’s India being presented as the “nanny”/surrogate parent in Commonwealth group art or Seychelles as the “adopted child of color” in FACES family. To POC content creators, it feels insulting that the wider fandom, rather than developing POC canon characters (or taking advantage of the source material’s potential by making OCs) and viewing them as representation, the fandom chooses to racebend Western nations and celebrates them instead.

I want to make clear again what I am not saying with that statement:

POC who engage in racebending are doing so to score clout and diversity points with a white audience. Again, it’s a fact that the vast majority of racebending is done by POC looking to create their own representation.

POC who engage in racebending should all go stan Seychelles and Cuba instead. This is an extremely individualist solution to what is a wider phenomenon. I do not blame POC based in Western countries for feeling disconnected to the few POC nations we have in canon.

Racebent POC content is more popular than content of non-racebent white characters.

What I am describing here is how an audience (the Hetalia fandom) receives two creations, both made by POC in the pursuit of creating more representation, and the difference in reception. The difference, it seems, is that the wider fandom deems certain kinds of POC representation more appealing, and thus, certain kinds of POC worth focusing on.

The Assumption of Interchangeability in POC Experience

Earlier, I mentioned that one of the possible reasons for POC to engage in racebending is the desire to see an iteration of their favorite character that is closer to their own reality and lived experience. Therefore, some may choose to racebend a white character to embody a marginalized minority in the country instead so they can share more experiences with the formerly white characters. 

Here, I will not be dealing with the practice of POC racebending their own country to their own ethnicity, which is the focus of the next section. Instead, I will be delving into the practice of POC racebending another nation to embody a minority (one which they do not belong to) for the purposes of ‘putting themselves in their interpretations.’ I argue that to do this requires assuming a certain level of interchangeability between POC experiences.

First and foremost, POC are not a monolith- we lead drastically different lives depending on our ethnic backgrounds, where we live, our socioeconomic class, our political and racial context, and etc. Therefore, we cannot presume that our experiences of marginalization mean we’ll always succeed in properly representing other minority groups elsewhere; in fact, the goal of projecting our own life experiences onto them means that there will be an obstacle to properly representing these minority groups.

Take the following example: Imagine a Chinese-Malaysian individual greatly enjoys the character of Spain. Wishing to better relate to him, the individual racebends him to be also Chinese. However, a great deal of historical, cultural determinants and nuances separate the experiences of Chinese people in Spain and Chinese people in Malaysia. There are similarities, yes, but this Chinese Malaysian cannot hope to properly represent the Chinese population in Spain if their primary goal remains self-projection. Now imagine that our Chinese-Malaysian individual wished to racebend England to be Indian; an even wider gap separates the experiences and history of Chinese people in Malaysia and Indian people in England, making it even less likely that our individual will succeed in representing the experiences of Indian people in England.

Another point to consider is that attempts at racebending certain national personifications to represent minorities in the country end up erasing representation for the majority population of the country. For example, there has been a historical Japanese community in Peru that dates back to the 1800s and made a large impact on Peruvian culture. However, it would still be inappropriate to make a Peru OC that is mostly Japanese in race, because besides just being not representative of the 99.9% of non-Japanese Peruvians, it would also be taking representation from Peruvian mestizo and indigenous peoples, who make up over 80% of Peru’s population.

This isn’t even taking into consideration cases where nations are racebent to personify ethnic groups that do not have a numerically significant or historically significant population.

“So what if it’s inaccurate? I just want to self-project onto my favorite character!”

If that’s your response, then I encourage you to read the section “It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?” where I address assertions of "fandom is not activism" and similar points.

For now, I will ask you to consider the feelings of those very minorities you are ostensibly representing, even if your primary intention is to project your own experiences onto a character. Chances are, they also suffer from little to no representation that depicts them in inaccurate and unflattering ways.

Hetalia is a media property supposedly centered around exploring and learning about other cultures, but so often fails to accurately and sensitively depict many cultures and nations. Should we not show them the grace that canon Hetalia fails to provide?

The Myth of Multiculturalism

Multiculturalism is typically defined as a celebration of a nation’s ethnic diversity. This is generally considered to be a good and progressive value to have, but a closer and more critical look at multiculturalism in practice suggests that not even a value directed at xenophobia is immune to in-group out-group biases. When enacted by the state, multiculturalism is less an acceptance of diversity as it currently exists (especially in regards to non-indigenous ethnicities) and more an assimilation of these “foreign cultures” into the dominant national one.

For example, Singapore has built much of its national identity as a “multicultural” society. This is shown through government policies in language and education, where the languages of the 3 ethnic groups (Chinese, Tamil Indians, Malays) are all officialized and the government promotes education for ethnic minorities in their mother tongues. However, the label of “multicultural” hides the reality of power inequality between the various ethnic groups. Minorities face pressure to display literacy in the language and culture of the Chinese majority for greater societal acceptance and inclusion. In fact, the assertion that Singapore is a multicultural society that treats its ethnic groups all equally, is often used as a cudgel to shut down any allegations that Singapore fails to live up to this national identity. As my audience is intended to be predominantly POC, especially those living as minorities in Western nations, members of my audience are of course familiar with insistences of “But Canada/United States/etc is a melting pot society! Racism isn’t a serious issue, POC can’t be treated poorly in those countries.”

By racebending a national personification to be part of a marginalized population, this is making a political statement by asserting that the marginalized population is in fact a part of that nation, and has always been, despite historical exclusion. The act of racebending is an overly idealistic and uncritical agreement with multiculturalism, without considering how the value actually applies in practice. It rosewashes the reality and existence of cultural imperialism enacted on immigrant/outsider groups. 

Racebending can therefore accidentally act as multicultural propaganda, especially when the invokement of multiculturalism is used to stamp out valid critiques of othering and racialization by ethnic minorities. (E.g. “Singapore can’t have problems with racism against Malays! Singapore himself is Malay!”)

IMPORTANT: If you want to argue that nation personifications are not inherently representative of their government, refer to the section, “The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations.”

“Well, POC based in Western countries will naturally feel more connected to their Western countries than their homelands, often because of those policies intended to break their connections to their homelands. Why can’t they racebend to reclaim? To feel connected to their Western countries in contrast to their realities of ostracization and othering?”

I have already discussed why other POC (those affected by a white regime’s actions) would be uncomfortable with the implications of tying a POC/marginalized group with said white regime’s misdeeds in the section “The Inherent Politicism of Personifying Nations” so I will not discuss it here beyond mentioning it.

Firstly, I must acknowledge that this argument is fundamentally an emotional one. I do not want to deny what POC in Western countries emotionally derive from racebending the nation-state, even as a fellow POC based in a Western country. Instead, I will approach this argument from another angle.

I ask the following: When trying to represent our experiences as diaspora and minorities, why is personifying a diaspora/minority community not a popular option? The act of choosing to personify a community is inherently political, and we can use it to empower ourselves as diaspora or minorities. For example, by personifying diaspora communities, we can acknowledge that diaspora experiences are different enough from those in the ‘homeland’ to warrant another personification, and also avoid accidentally justifying colonial possession of those ‘homeland’ states. 

Additionally, by personifying diaspora/minority communities, we can 1) better reflect our unique day-to-day experiences of being racialized and separated from the mainstream, 2) avoid many of the earlier uncomfortable implications of minority collaboration in majority perpetrated acts and condoning colonialism, and 3) stress our independence and autonomy despite the efforts of the state and majority population to take that away.

To put it another way, why are there so many stories of minorities striving towards being included, or from another angle, subsumed, into the white nation-state despite its frequent rejection of them? Again, what does it say that these narratives of “inclusion into a historically white nation-state” disproportionately outnumber POC narratives where whiteness is minute or absent?

IMPORTANT: I am not singling you, the hypothetical POC diaspora individual who engages in racebending, out. I am asking about wider patterns of representation in media.

“But by personifying diaspora and minority communities separately from the personification of the nation-state, isn’t that basically saying that minorities will never be seen as part of the nation-state? That we will never be included when people think of our nation state?”

I believe this response takes too narrow a perspective on what multiculturalism is and “being part of a nation-state means,” and thus views having separate personifications as ‘justifying’ or ‘promoting’ our exclusion from the nation-state when it may not be the case.

Look at it from this way- Is it not also problematic to have only one avatar for, say, America, and thus imply that there is one true way of being “American?” Having multiple American personifications, in contrast, is a more true depiction of the realities of being American, and more true to the values of multiculturalism; it instead suggests that there are many ways to be American, that we don’t have to be subsumed into the mainstream to be considered “American.”

“Isn’t that functionally the same as different interpretations of the same nation-state coexisting? Why can’t fans just all have a different Alfred/America specific to their own experience who are all equally considered American?”

Once more: I am not trying to stop anyone from doing anything. That’s not within my power to do so. I agree with this statement that largely, having multiple American personifications and multiple America/Alfred fulfills the same purpose of showing that to be American means something different to everyone. However, the reason I advocated for the former approach is because it achieves the same goal with a lot less uncomfortable questions and unique benefits (minority autonomy), as detailed above.

“It’s Just Fandom, Why Are You Trying to Control POC Who Just Want to Have Fun and Want to Represent Themselves?”

First off, I am presenting this essay as a conversation with other POC because I want to make it explicitly known that my position here is not that of a white person seeking to silence POC and lecture them about what is and is not good for them. Secondly, it's because I want to talk about racebending as it currently exists in the Hetalia fandom, something mostly done by POC who wish to represent themselves and create the diversity missing in the source material. I believe pointing out that white people who are uncomfortable with POC characters or only racebend for self-centered reasons likely have a racial bias is obvious, especially to other POC, and wish to progress the conversation beyond this. This is why my discussion on racebending is moving beyond white bias.

As part of centering this as a discussion among POC, I am also assuming good faith from my interlocutors, that their desires for representation and diversity are sincere, and that I don’t look down on them. I hope then, that this assumption of good faith can be afforded to me as well- that my interlocutors believe me when I say that the last thing I want to do is control POC, as a fellow POC.

Having gotten all of that out of the way, let's address some rebuttals to the arguments I've made thus far.

"Who are you to decide what kind of representation resonates with POC?"

You're right. I can't decide what kind of representation resonates with POC. Again, I am not intent on controlling POC, and again, I recognize that many of the arguments in favor of racebending white nations come from an emotional place; I can’t control how POC feel, even if I wanted to do that.

However, it's precisely because of this that I've made my arguments based on  factors other than emotional ones, such as the political implications and questioning the inclusivity racebending provides us with. POC joy and happiness is crucial in the face of a system that seeks to crush and suppress us. But from one POC to another, it's not much of a discussion if your response to my points is simply, "Well, it makes me feel represented and happy, and that's what matters most." If we argued based on that, we could go all day. Am I not a POC myself? Do the feelings and happiness of POC who are uncomfortable with racebending not matter? For that matter, who are you to tell the people whose families and people have been historically affected by white imperialist states to stop disliking racebent versions of those imperialist states?

For white people, it is easy for them to shut down racebending, because they don't understand the experience of never seeing yourself in any form of media. I have asked white/non-marginalized people to refrain from this discussion for that very reason. But in exchange for that, we should be able to discuss the ramifications of racebending national personifications, and look deeper at the arguments for and against racebending.

"You're taking this too seriously. People giving more attention to racebent versions of Western countries versus non-racebent POC countries doesn't say anything deeper about someone's political beliefs. People just like the silly anime about personified countries, and that silly anime happens to give more attention to the canonically white countries."

To a certain extent, I get this rebuttal. We cannot solve racism or the privileging of the global north by reblogging Hetalia fanart of Seychelles and Cameroon. Everything I have described here is symptomatic of much, much larger issues that affect billions. But it's symptomatic: fandom is not immune to the ills of wider society. We do not shed our innate biases and prejudices when we enter supposedly apolitical spaces like fandom. In a series about personified nations, our prejudices and biases are naturally magnified because the source material’s nature is deeply political, dealing with history and personified nations and states.

Again I ask: What does it mean that the POC representation made by POCs is so often limited to racebending canonically white characters, in the context of the world order we live in where proximity to the West automatically confers certain privileges?

IMPORTANT: Refer to the section “The Myth of Multiculturalism” if you respond to this with “Are you saying depictions of Western-influenced POC experiences are a lesser form of representation?”

If that fails to convince you, and you still believe the inequality in reception between racebent and non-racebent nations doesn’t say anything deeper, I respond with the following- Isn’t it still worth it to try and show the same support and energy to the non-racebent, non-Western countries and their creators, regardless of whether that content speaks to you or not?

One last time, I’ll clarify what I’m not saying with that:

Stop liking America and Russia and England. I repeat, I cannot control what POC like or feel or do, and I repeat, what characters you personally like is a very individualistic view on a wider, systemic issue.

In the section “The State of POC Representation in Hetalia,” I discussed how disproportionately giving to racebent countries versus non-racebent non-Western countries is not an intersectional form of POC representation, and fails to address the underrepresentation of non-Western countries and cultures given the global colonial hierarchy. My above statement is therefore saying that if we POC want to achieve a more intersectional form of solidarity and representation, to create a fandom that’s more non-Western friendly, to generally support all types of POC creators, we should not neglect certain kinds of POC content just because it doesn’t personally resonate with us.

You don’t have to. Fandom is not activism. For many, fandom is an escape from the grim realities of the outside world. But in a media property all about exploring other countries’ cultures and histories, can we not strive for the spirit of the source material, and be a little more open-minded in exploring other countries and other forms of POC representation? Even in this miniscule way?

CONCLUSION

I would like to conclude this essay on the matter of irithnova, and the recent controversy she’s been embroiled in for stating many of the points I have made. Yes, our tones were different. But no amount of harsh tone warrants the outrage and rather racist backlash her post received. irithnova has been one of the most active voices in the Hetalia fandom speaking out against racism, from the exclusion of POC in j-ellyfish’s character polls to myrddin’s behavior. However, as soon as she, a Filipino, expresses personal discomfort with certain depictions of a nation that’s caused great harm to her people, other POC were the first to get mad at her for seeing the political implications of a POC personified America, to the point of trying to deny her reality as a feminized and racialized member of the diaspora living in a colonial European country and calling her functionally white.

POC solidarity doesn’t mean we have to all agree with each other, or even like every other POC. But I want to note the irony here of people committing the very act they accused irithnova of doing- telling her, a Filipino, that she wasn’t allowed to criticize racebent depictions of America, thereby trying to control POC.

If your response to this is “Well, sure irithnova didn’t deserve the harassment, but she was still wrong to criticize racebending because it wasn’t her place!” I would like to remind you of the following points:

Scroll up to the top and read this essay again. Regardless of tone used, there are valid reasons for POC to dislike and criticize depictions of racebent countries.

irithnova, as a Filipino living in the West and has Filipino relatives in the USA, is intimately aware of the nature of American imperialism and racism against POC. The United States promised to help the Philippines achieve independence but instead robbed it of its sovereignty, putting down resistance to its takeover and instituting American rule because they viewed Filipinos as “lesser” and incapable of governing themselves because of their race. If it isn’t irithnova’s place to feel uncomfortable (and thus criticize) racebent America, then whose is it?

Finally, I want to emphasize one more thing- First Nations/Indigenous individuals have a unique relationship to the colonial settler states that occupy their land. Like I’ve said so many times, I cannot tell any POC how to feel or what to do, and even more so in this case because I myself am not First Nations/Indigenous; I’ve only provided arguments about the pitfalls of racebending and the merits of other forms of representation. But just as how I cannot tell you what to feel or do, nobody can stop other POC feeling put off by a racebent America.

At the end of the day, despite the who-knows-how-many paragraphs I’ve spent articulating the reasons against racebending canonically white nations, I cannot stop anyone from racebending nations if they wish to. But I do hope readers come away with a better understanding of the flaws of racebending, and the benefits of looking away from the Western mainstream and looking elsewhere to represent our experiences as diaspora and minorities. If you’re someone who engages in racebending, but still chose to read this 6K word long essay on the Hetalia fandom, I can’t express my gratitude enough for hearing me out. Honestly, anybody who read through this entire post deserves an award- Thanks for reading 💖

[neurosharky]

The Parts of ASPD That You Don't See

This post will only contain my personal experience and opinion. It may not be applicable to every other person with ASPD and may likewise be relatable for people who do not have it.

This post aims to educate, provide insight and contribute to the diversity of ASPD experiences. It is not gonna try to excuse any harmful actions/beliefs, nor does it want to encourage others to imitate those.

Once again, this is just my own experience and does not speak for the whole community, nor is it a reflection of my actual current actions or how good of a person I am.

Abbreviations:

ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder

In my time as a mental health (and specifically ASPD) educator on instagram I have published a total of 65 ASPD themed posts and have written countless answers to peoples questions and rambles on my story and in my direct messages.

If you would read most of that, you would have a pretty good understanding of my ASPD symptoms and ways this condition affects me, but you would still be missing quite a bunch of things.

So this my attempt at showing you some things I have not talked about (at all or much) yet, in order to contribute to more accurate representation, as well as practising vulnerability:

1. Whenever I am confronted with someones suffering, misery, hurt, etc. my first thought is not kind or pleasant. Even if that person is my friend, my family member, or someone suffering from something I equally suffer from. My first thought will always be mean, insulting and full of blame towards the other person. In my head I will scream at you to be less sensitive, that its all your fault, that I wish you'd stop whining and bother someone else with it. If I do not feel like engaging with it at all, my next few thoughts will be equally mean and I will rationalize not having to help you or engage with you, until it looks like the most logical way for me to proceed.

2. If I do feel like engaging with someone who is suffering, or if I have to, in order to socialize, make friends, keep friends, etc. it takes a lot of effort and work for me to do it right. You will never see that effort and work, you will never be able to appreciate it and for that I despise you, even if its not your fault or responsibility. It makes me irrationally angry if people do not thank me properly for doing the bare minimum and do not appreciate me helping them, being kind and being a good friend. Being kind, for me, is keeping my ASPD at bay, like a rabid dog on a chain and doing the exact opposite of what my brain is telling me to do. I have to choose to do that every single day in every single moment, every single interaction, time and time again, while desiring a level of appreciation for it, that no one can ever fulfill. This makes it even harder to choose kindness again, because it does not give me what I yearn for, yet I do it, because at least I'll get something in return, even if it will never be enough.

3. I am not always able to handle my money responsibly. If you would leave me alone in a casino and I would start playing a game, I would not stop until I lose everything, because I already cannot stop myself from doing that in online games with game currency. Next to that I am incapable of stopping myself from buying something once I decided I want it. If I want something, I'll get it and I'll bad talk everything else, just so I get what I want. I can rationalize any purchase, so I actively have to avoid things where I know I couldn't control myself, as well as constantly remind myself that luxury isn't needed, even tho thats all I desire. ASPDs impulsivity, irresponsibility and the disregard for everything else, make it hard to keep myself in check and I despise not being in control of myself. On top of that it makes me irrationally angry to see people criticize the lifestyle I wanna have, despite knowing that they're theoretically right about the base thought.

4. I am angry at myself for being scared of things, for being incredibly soft at times, for needing a specific level of care, for needing help, for not being able to live entirely independently, for not having been more careful with my choices years ago, for having let people hurt me, for still being affected by my trauma, etc. In short I am angry with myself, for not actually being that cold ruthless genius my ASPD tried to make me. I feel as if I failed my own brain & by extension myself, by not even properly becoming what it wanted me to be. My brain tried to protect me and I couldn't even let it do that, because I just had to be a soft little baby and cling to certain parts of my childhood & personality. Part of this hatred is internalized ableism, but part of it is also just an inability to accept, that its okay to be like this now, because there is no longer a threat I need to be protected from and even if there was, I can do it on my own now.

5. Being in recovery and having moved on from some of my more harmful behaviours, beliefs and views, as well as being a little more responsible & knowledgable about social rules, also means, that I now get to look back on my childhood, teens and early adulthood and get to see all of the mistakes I made, that I previously could not see. I get to see all of the bad decisions, all of the ways in which I may have permanently harmed people and in their eyes I will forever be that person. I can't feel sorry for what I've done, I can't have emotional empathy with them, but I can still wish I had not done those things & fuck I wish I hadn't. I hate that for most of the people who have ever known me, I will be the villain in their story and I hate that if any of them were to ever publicly call me out, they would never be able to understand why I did what I did, how much I have changed and that none of it was ever personal (as well as that some things where I broke social rules were never even intentional). It partially terrifies me and partially makes me me wish I had known better (next to wishing I had never been damaged enough to do it in the first place).

6. It makes you feel so far removed from being human, when you just cannot do what everyone else does. I wish I could form deep bonds, I wish I could cry more, I wish I was emotionally moved by sad scenes & people passing, I wish I could love deeply, I wish I could be really passionately involved in fandoms, I wish I could feel happiness for others, I wish I could experience deep levels of guilt & shame so I know what its like to feel remorse...I just really wish I could be that deeply connected with other beings around me. I know its not always fun, I know its exhausting and I know it hurts and on most days I am glad I don't have to go trough that, but on some days I just crave being that level of human and wish I knew what its truly like, because no description will ever suffice. I know that I am still human, even if I have ASPD, but it just doesn't feel the same when you don't have access to a huge majority of the human social features, that are supposed to define us. Its lonely, its othering and it just sucks, even tho I can appreciate my brain trying to protect me.

That was just six things and I am running out of space, so heres an incomplete bullet point list with little to no explanation:

• the constant fight between survival & what it could be like if I truly tried to thrive

• receiving disgusted or weird looks in every conversation, because you are just so obviously different when you socialize and switching between being angry about it & terrified by it

• having way too many "well that could have hurt/k*lled me" moments, because little danger awareness & care for urself

• denying yourself parts of life, because your brain thinks they make you "weak" or you said you didn't care about them and now you can't let people see you care, because you know they'll make fun of it/you, which is why you developed a no care attitude in the first place

• people describing people like you as lazy, immature, not deserving of good things etc. and having that fuck with your progress, self esteem & identity

• knowing that people will always believe others over you, because you are the lying manipulating cunning guy, even when you tell the truth & knowing you can't do shit about it

first posted on my insta account (same @)

[mrcarmenile]

another hazbin rant lmao im so sorry 😭😭 (this one is about alastor’s design and racial identity, specifically talking about alastor being mixed-race as a mixed person myself)

ik theres a lot of criticism about alastor’s design not properly representing his race, which is a valid concern but

firstly we haven’t gotten the whole show yet and we don’t know how well his character is actually portrayed - so accusing people like viv of being racist or that alastor is shit rep cannot really be properly backed up at this time

secondly alastor is mixed. we don’t know exactly what percentages or whatever, but we know that he is partially black, either half black or less than half black (considering that he is half creole). i see a lot of people saying “that is not a black man” “that’s such a white guy”

i am mixed race. i am not black, but i am half filipino and half white. i myself have been told that i’m too white, or that i’m not really asian, or that i’m not asian enough. my skin is too pale. my hair isn’t thick enough. my facial features aren’t “filipino” enough. i’m whitewashing myself.

i’m not dismissing white washing or bad representation at all - but since we’re, firstly, not sure how alastor is handled in the full show, and secondly, people are SAYING that he’s “not really black” or “not black enough”

mixed people receive this all the time. erasure of our racial identities, feeling like we don’t fit in anywhere because we /look different/. it really upsets me to see people make these comments. if you have your (respectful!) criticisms, then of course let them be known if you would like. spread awareness. but i advise you not to make comments like the ones i pointed out (they can be very invalidating to mixed-race people), and to keep an open mind for the full series - it may surprise you.

idk it just hurts to see another white passing mixed person getting their race entirely dismissed simply because they don’t look like someone who is fully that race, or other mixed people of that race. like ik alastor is fictional but it also makes me feel bad? mixed people look different, sometimes they fully pass as one race, sometimes they look somewhere in the middle - just please don’t make comments dismissing a mixed person’s race. i can understand wanting alastor to look more black, in fact i myself believe that he should have more black features, but. cmon - your words have meaning, even when directed at a fictional character - they affect real people too. these are comments that real people (including myself) receive, and it’s not fun.

[ also try not to speak over the people who are actually being represented (or possibly misrepresented) by alastor - i feel a connection with him as i am also a white-passing mixed-race aroace, but i try not to comment much on this specific topic because i am not creole or black. this is just my stance on how he is portrayed as a mixed person, and people’s responses to that. ]

thank you for coming to yet another ted talk, any racist or disrespectful people/comments will be deleted and blocked. much love <3

[poorlylaidplans]

It's been long enough since the laios shuro fight and people's reaction to it I feel comfortable posting my feelings about it.

It's notable how quickly this one turned from autistic people emphasising with an incredibly rare expression of the cruelty often inflicted upon them to people saying there's no one at fault in this argument. Tumblr is the bad take website why are we suddenly experiencing 'nuance'.

I along with many other autistic people were really happy to see representation of our alienation in media. It's a long running experience of mine to have people refuse to tell me when I've accidentally made them uncomfortable or said something rude. Even when I tell them explicitly that I don't understand when I've done so and want to do the thing that makes everyone most comfortable. I saw that in Laios too, he wanted to be friends with Shuro but Shuro wouldn't give him enough information to do so or make him comfortable. (manga readers dni there is no productive conversation here, I have not read the manga I cannot tell if you have a reasonable take)

This is a form of cruelty, if you're going to engage in a conversation with someone you ought to try to understand where they're coming from. If you're not willing to do that don't engage. It is extremely alienated to be told consistently the effort you put into communication is not worth reciprocating, that one's own good will means nothing because the person on the other side refuses to even try to understand you.

So representation is good, it make me feel not alone in my experience. It tells other people about an aspect of the autistic experience.

Which is why it has been so disappointing that the Dungeon Mesgi community reaction has been that no-ones to blame. I myself come from a high context culture and it's fucking cruel. It excludes immigrants, neurodivergent people and anyone else who doesn't mean cultural norms. Why is it suddenly okay to be cruel to autistic people just because that's the way things are in such a place? You know what actually stinks of orientalism, saying problems in a society are okay because they don't know better. That's a colonial mindset.

I don't think most people are actively malicious but I do think people are too quick to look for an easy resolution to what makes them uncomfortable. Why is this the first time Tumblr has embraced nuance? Obviously some of the people who do this to autistic people are here and it's understandable, we're products of our culture, but it would behoove you to examine why autistic people expressing the cruelty done to them makes one uncomfortable and maybe try to engage with people who are unlike you instead of shuffling them off to polite indifference. Hell just say you don't want to be friends! I know as an autistic person I'd be very happy to know this isn't going to happen.

Just don't shut down what little representation we actually get.

[olderthannetfic]

So I know I'm like several years late to the party with this, I just played it for the first time recently, but for those in this F/F discourse who like me, their big stumbling block with a lot of F/F fanfic is that they're specifically into messier, kinkier or more "toxic" dynamics between women than the romantic friends-to-lovers fluff that seems to predominate these days (though considering this is a common complaint, is probably already on the way out): cannot recommend the visual novel Ladykiller in a Bind enough. Especially the route with the Beauty - not gonna spoil, but you'll have fun, at least if you're not totally turned off by BDSM.

Anyway, has anyone noticed that it feels like even if F/F fandom is moving away from the fluff-only stuff, a lot of people who sign up for F/F in fanfic exchanges seem to be realllllly fluffy in their preferences? Like even in a lot of kink-centric ones (like kink in the BDSM/fetish sense, not the way fanfic uses it as just "trope you like"), it's a lot of stuff like that "consensual sex pollen" thing people were ranting about a few asks ago. I feel like the only way I can get the kind of F/F I really like in exchanges is if I get like five of my like-minded friends to sign up, and then we either end up just writing for each other, or are writing and receiving some M/M or F/M ship we also requested.

I sometimes wonder, because this is a trajectory that I went through myself and have seen so many other lesbians and bi women go through, that it has to do with comfort level about your sexuality. Like I was kind of afraid when first coming out to admit the freakier, less "good representation" style stuff I liked, and then once I got over it I was like making up for lost time. Especially when it seems like a lot of people with those preferences also buy heavily into "anti" thinking (like people have discussed with the Rhaenicent stuff), I do kind of wonder if it's motivated by shame in your less "moral "desires. THough obviously a lot of people just like fluffier stuff naturally and can process all they want and that's still goign to be what they like. I tend to have fluffier, more romantic preferences in M/M for whatever reason and all the processing in the world hasn't made me more want to read whumpier or kinkier fic.

(I'm a lesbian, ftr, and again I don't wnat to seem like I'm shaming anyone else, but I have kind of wondered what it means that /I/ am into one thing with the gender I'm actually attracted to IRL and one thing very different with the one I'm not. And then my preferences in F/M seem to be a lot more situational, depending on the ship or the fandom in question or the fanfic writer, etc.)

Also wondering if even more generally, what y'all have noticed is the difference in the overall patterns of preferences of people who sign up for fanfic exchanges vs. fanfic writers as a whole. As someone who does a lot of exchanges, it's something I've kind of wondered about in myself, too, especially compared to my friends who aren't as into them as much.

--

[artheresy]

No but I don’t think anyone understands how deeply I need to witness Blade identity crisis content like, the focus on identity usually with the HCQ and the struggles usually centers around Dan Heng because of course! We get the content in canon touched upon, expanding on it with your own view is so much fun and I want to do it myself at some point.

But the potential of Blade? And exploring his fucked relationship with his identity and with Yingxing? MWAH, delicious, and not done enough compared to something I do see a bit whenever the topic comes up which no hate to anyone for but I have my own opinions on it

Like, shit Blade has HUGE issues with dehumanizing himself as a result of Jingliu’s teaching in which she projected her own self dehumanization onto him and taught him to turn his body into a weapon and remember the feeling of death. He doesn’t view himself as being a person, he is nothing more than a sword for slaying, a weapon whose path is soaked in the blood of both his victims and himself. And UGH listen, I’ve already ranted about this so many times that y’all are probably tired of hearing me talk about it.. it truly is one of my favorite topics, the disconnection between Yingxing and Blade that does exist in canon to certain extent. Though he takes on the weight of his sin as his own and his duty to repay it (and make sure Dan Heng repays it too), the ways in which he doesn’t connect to Yingxing in other matters is used in such a tragic way when you peel back the layers upon layers that can relate to the simplest things. Like fucking hell, not to mention it again but the use of craftsmanship between the two of them is heartbreaking as crafting represents not only what he happened to do as apart of the HCQ and in the end his legacy, but how it is used as a representation of his passion that Blade does not share, how it represents the revenge that dominated his life as Yingxing built on the pain and trauma of losing his entire family and home while still such a young child which Blade probably doesn’t even fully remember anymore let alone connect with. I swear, that hurts, it hurts me every time I think about it.

I also just have a lot of my own headcanons that I firmly don’t think are canon, but are things I instead sprinkle in like finishing salt into my wounds to make myself even more sad. Like thinking about Blade in a way constantly being in mourning, not solely for Baiheng, but genuinely in mourning for Yingxing as well. Although he used to be Yingxing, that man is still dead and gone and never coming back, never in a way that will actually be Yingxing. So I like to imagine he mourns for him as well. Not just his death but mourns the severed connection between them. The passions he cannot submerge himself in, the pure dedication he cannot fathom, the love and happiness he cannot even begin to imagine the feeling of. Or at least not the warmth of them, he only feels the bitter shards of those feelings left within him, making his hatred all the more agonizing and deep set.

Hm… I wonder how we’re going to see Blade progress as the story keeps going on. I do truly hope we get more of an exploration of this. I need to see what happens to him. I need to see how his mindset ends up evolving or instead of evolving, the sheer amount of shit it ends up getting him into. God do I love this man, sorry that my love manifests in needing to see him suffering. It just comes with the territory

[transmascpetewentz]

A Short Guide To Writing Gay Trans Men

So a few disclaimers before I start:

I'm not going to talk about anything sex-related here because 1) people have made other guides and google is your friend & 2) I'm not very comfortable with it.

I am just one person, and due to the fact that I am white and thin and perisex, I will definitely have blind spots. If you want more information about intersections that don't apply to me, ask someone who it does apply to!

I did get lots of messages from trans guys giving me advice on this, but nonetheless I do not speak for absolutely everyone.

There will be very little info here on how to accurately write medical transitions because that's not something I've experienced. Google is your best friend on this one.

This is not a complete post. I will keep adding to it as time goes on. If you're seeing this post reblogged by someone else, click on the original to see if I've made any additions or corrections before you send me that anon hate and/or comment telling me to kill myself.

What Not To Do

When there is a trans male character written by a cis person, especially a cis man, there's a very solid chance that he is going to check off at least 9 of the following boxes:

Thin

White

Able-bodied

Neurotypical or LSN neurodivergent

Binary

No nuance given to his identity and expression

Sexuality not specified or elaborated on

A cis person's love interest

2 dimensional transmasc stereotype

Usually small and feminine, but not actually femme

Gay transmasc characters written by cis people are very difficult to find because cis authors will often not specify the sexuality of the trans man dating a cis man or elaborate on his connection to the MLM community. This is because many cis authors believe that writing a gay trans man is just writing a woman but switching one of the genders. This is, of course, not true, and there must be more care taken to provide nuance and create a more accurate (and non-dysphoria-inducing) representation.

Moving Past The White Twink Stereotype

This is one of the most basic bars to clear for a cis person writing a gay trans man, and yet so many continue to fail at this very simple task. Ask yourself: is your gay transmasc character a white, hairless, thin person? If the answer is yes, that's not inherently a bad thing, though it may be good to reflect on why you want to create a character like this if this is the only type of transmasc representation you write.

The biggest thing you need to do here is to give him a set of defining traits. Not physical traits, not even gender expression traits. Just personality. What kind of person is he? How does he cope with the transphobia in this world (unless you're writing a fantasy universe without transphobia)? How does he act towards strangers? How does he approach people of different genders? What is his outlook on cis people? Once you have the basics, it's time to think about his physical appearance & expression and how that has impacted his life and his personality.

You also want to avoid the trope where a gay trans man's personality is undeveloped and he is treated as an object for cis men to help them advance their character arcs. It's fine for trans men to serve a purpose like that in the story, but they need to be their own individual humans.

Writing Sexuality

If your trans male characters date men, and I cannot reiterate this enough, make them be open about their homosexuality or bisexuality. Give them a sexual orientation and make them be proud of it. Of course, not every gay trans man is going to identify heavily with a masc/fem role in gay male relationships, but you should seriously consider whether or not your character would.

Additionally, don't follow the flawed line of logic of "trans man -> vagina -> bottom -> fem/femme." It's fine to make your gay trans male characters fem but please, I swear to god please give them a good reason for being so. If you do make your character femme, be very cautious to use language that doesn't trigger actual trans men's dysphoria. Don't constantly point out the character's physical features that may be associated with femininity unless you're making a point either about his dysphoria or about how society treats him or maybe about how he comes to accept his body. However, please be extremely careful with the last one as this trope has been used in so many transphobic portrayals.

Have your gay trans male character exist in gay spaces with other gay men (both cis and trans). Have him be open about being a gay man specifically. Give him cis gay male friends. Give him trans gay male friends. Don't allow your reader to ignore the fact that he is very much a gay man.

Dysphoria

For the love of all things good, please do not write your gay trans male character's dysphoria as "from the day I was born, I knew I was born in the wrong body. I have had no internalized shame or guilting into making me doubt my transness, and it was obvious that I was not a woman." That's not how anyone's dysphoria works, even if they did know from a young age that they were born in the wrong body.

For gay trans men specifically, most of us end up realizing we're trans around either age 12 or age 20. This doesn't mean he has to be exactly that age, but that's generally the safest age to have your character's egg crack. Of course, you can sprinkle in signs that he's trans since he was a young child, but I know a lot of gay trans men and I have yet to meet one who has known since birth and has had no doubt in his mind about it. However you can and should write older gay trans men, even some who find out they're trans in their 40s or older. Representation of older trans people is seriously lacking compared to how many there are.

Don't make your character the stereotype of a straight trans man who doesn't face the specific intersection of being trans and gay. Facing this intersection does affect something even as personal as dysphoria. Many of us will have self-doubt, believe that we're disgusting fetishists of gay men, or simply exist as women in gay spaces for a time. You also have to take into account gay beauty standards & your character's upbringing to figure out what they're likely to be most dysphoric about.

hi :3

That's it for now. I'll keep adding to this post as I get feedback and suggestions. If you want more advice, feel free to send me an ask. When I get enough asks about things, I'll make an FAQ post answering some of them.

[bitethedevil]

I can’t remember who reblogged that new Raphael mod so apologies if you haven’t seen it, but I was very disturbed by it. I’m talking about the “deaging” one that I assume was made by a teenager. I don’t understand how people can claim to like a character and then want to make them “younger/prettier”. All those mods, like the ones for Astarion and Gortash look awful to me. I saw that people were trying to have an interesting discussion in the comments of the post about maybe that’s how Raphael really looks since he’s immortal and could have stopped aging. But I wanted to ask them if they’ve seen a representation of Odin ever. Being immortal doesn’t necessarily mean looking like a bland pretty boy. Is this a Draco Malfoy twink thing? Do you have a better idea of what the appeal of this is, because I really don’t get it.

Interesting question! I think I know the post you are talking about. I don’t really ‘mod-shame’ (is that a term?). People can do whatever and it doesn’t affect me. That being said I do kind of agree with you, it is sad, and I think, some of it at least, might stem from a place of ageism. Maybe also the fact that some people have gotten so used to videogames and animation that they forget what actual people look like when a game more realistically portrays someone, if that even makes sense?

I also just think that some of the people liking those mods are very young themselves and might feel odd about their favorite characters looking older. Like that age where you are in denial and ashamed about liking characters who look old enough to be your parent (I remember that vividly at least. Maybe it’s just me idek). I really cannot imagine any grown-up person thinking it’s necessary to remove wrinkles on characters. Perhaps I’m just naïve but I have always suspected it’s just teens who do it. We’ve all been there.

That said, I do think there is some truth to what people are saying about him looking older on purpose! If I recall correctly, cambions stop aging around 20-30 ish and I thiiiink it’s the same for other devils? They just choose to look older to be taken more seriously. Even good ol’ Mephistopheles have like three different forms, so it’s not uncommon in the Hells to be very particular about their appearance.

I’m also coincidentally a Norse Pagan (the inclusive and reconstructionist kind, and not the n*zi-dickheads-who-likes-to-play-vikings kind, obviously) and I think Odin actually does the same thing. The Norse gods aren’t “true” immortals. They just munch on apples that prolong their lives, but they do eventually die, and they do age. Odin appears like a lot of different people, and I wouldn’t put it past him to just look old because it fits his wise, all-father persona. He is dramatic like that, much like our dear Raphie boy. (Which is completely unrelated to your point, I’m just a fucking nerd who can’t help myself when people talk about stuff I’m interested)

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[howlingday]

Have you seen anyone Blame Bumbleby for ruining Rwby or getting the show canceled? I have and I get it upset a lot of people and was done poorly but I feel like saying it ruined the show and shutting it down is too far. We're the Wasps that bad? I jumped in late.

I'll be honest, I have considered myself that BMBLB as a sort of representation of RWBY going bad. It felt like pandering to me since Black Sun was a lot more heavily implied than BMBLB, and every interaction of Yang and Blake since Volume 5 has been RWBY trying to retcon and backpedal that Yang and Blake were always intended to be endgame. Every situation with Blake had to include Yang. Every situation with Yang had to include Yang. It all felt so forced, and having Blake's story with the White Fang end only to start something new with Yang felt so jarring. For a minute there, it really felt like Blake's only motivation for doing anything was just because Yang would be there.

I'm going to say it here so nobody gets lost when I say that RWBY cannot write romance.

Sure, there are romantic moments, but there's always something wrong, be it in the story itself, or with how they handle it. The only canon ship that feels natural anymore is Renora because they've had build-up. They've had their relationship, their flaws, their conflicts, all of it was established and built from the start. Arkos is a close second, but... Well, we saw how Arkos ended. The same could be said for White Knight, too, but that's assuming RWBY doesn't kill off Jaune just to give Ruby some final motivation before ending the series and making out with Oscar, whom she has so little interaction with that I struggle to understand their relationship.

But I digress.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I don't get attacked by Wasps because I have anon asks off. If any of them were brave enough to attack me without anon, they would.

[eliplague]

Penny for my thoughts | The Sunshine Court (Part 1 maybe)

Just finished The Sunshine Court so I need to get some of my thoughts out of my head because there’s just too many. (Spoiler warning read at your own discretion)

1. Expect the Jean and Niel parallels post ‘cause it’s COMING

2. Never in a million years would I have ever known how much I needed to see Jean getting adopted by lesbians, thank you Nora for opening my eyes.

3. Renee and Jean friendship had me MELTING INTO A PUDDLE, I need everyone to know how dear that friendship is to me and how close I hold it to my heart.

4. Jean giving up information through freudian slip every damn time had me wanting to slap him upside the head, but I knew he wouldn’t have said anything other wise. Necessary evils and whatnot (If you get it you get it).

5. I still cannot decide if Jean holding into his ruined belongings is more of a self sabotage situation to remind himself he should be submitting or a “I know we ruined each other closely beyond repair, but you are still the only familiar thing to me”. Could be a little bit of both but I’m leaning more towards the first one.

6. LOVED all the representation in the book and how fast Jean was to accept it, my boy really dgaf.

7. My prediction that TSC was going to have to be cut into two books was correct and I’m glad Nora decided to do it that way. Like I said in THIS post, Jean has to deal with his trauma on the first book to make way for Jerejean to blossom, in my opinion, it was the best course of action.

8. Cat and Laila my beloved. Cat is my favorite character and I loved her the moment she was introduced, Laila being the handler to Cat’s chaos made me super warm inside.

9. Barkbark Von Barkestein is an incredible name and when I adopt a dog I will be naming it this.

10. I KNEW Grayson was going to make an appearance the moment his name kept coming up, even though it was coming I still had to stop breathing some fresh air when he inevitably did, because the seething rage I felt can only be compared to the Drake scene (as Jean so graciously did)

11. I’m so damn curious about Jeremy’s past I feel like I’m about to implode (hehe) from curiosity. Nora had me running mental laps trying to theorize why his family hates him so much. At first I thought it could be because he’s gay but then he mentioned Exy… 👀 the plot thickens

There’s so much more I want to talk about but I don’t trust myself to write an eloquent enough paragraph right now. I’m drunk on excitement and exhaustion from reading the whole book in one sitting. Did I procrastinate on some assignments because of it? Perhaps but that’s for future Eli to figure out.

[selenecrown]

I just watched the Spider Within and honestly, I think it is great. While it may not mean anything in the grand sceme of the Spiderverse series-I personally think it is a great addition full of good panic attack representation especially in the Black community, and In-Universe implications.

While I cannot speak much on the part of speaking about panic attacks to others representation, as while I have had panic attacks in the past, I am white and have had a much different experience then those of color, who have a distrust of the medical system in my country and deal with different stigmas and my panic attacks went in a different direction then Miles where he is seeking help whereas I almost. . . Game Overed myself before I got the help I needed-I think The Spider Within's verson of a panic attack is still a good interpretation of a panic attack. While it does not show physically what it is-it creates a wonderful metaphor for it.

Anxiety is like a spider on you-you may not even notice it at first, it's small and insignificant. But overtime, it gets worse and worse, until eventually, the spiders become too much to handle and attack you all at once if they are not swatted away. It also feels like the more spiders you notice, the worse it gets. And when anxiety strikes-it feels like many spiders attacking all at once and makes you feel unsafe even in your own skin.

So, in that regard, I love the use of Spider Horror as I think it serves as a wonderful metaphor I can use to explain it to someone who doesn't have anxiety.

Another thing I love, is unironically, the implications of the short-as a comic book fan (or at least to my experience) it's never really been addressed the struggles between your superhero identity and your true identity and what that entails for a person.

We have to remember Miles is 13 in Into the Spiderverse and 15 years old in Across the Spiderverse.

Let me say that again.

Miles Morales is 13 and 15 years old at the time of the movies he stars in.

He is still a teenager and he is balancing his identity as Spiderman and Miles Morales.

Most of the superheros we see are adults. Fully. Grown. Adults. who HAVE the skills to cope with their double lifes and often times have a support system of superheros and those who understand around them to help and guide them through whatever they are dealing with. This is especially clear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe where is it very clear most superheros have help.

No superhero is ever truly alone in the MCU.

Miles is not that case and this has been emphasized by many Spiderman characters-they feel truly alone and they have to do things by themselves. Miles doesn't have the help like other Marvel characters do. He is the only Spiderman in his own universe, and possibly the only superhero in his universe. To quote Peter Parker in the first movie, "The only thing standing between this city and destruction, is me."

It is just Miles Morales against whatever threat there is, and he has the deal with the consequences after. And as he saw in The Spider Within, this is taking a huge toll on Miles, enough for him to have a panic attack.

This shows, like the movies keep saying over and over, being Spiderman, and by extension a superhero-is NOT something to be taken lightly. It takes a lot from a person to be a superhero, which also has not fully been addressed in comic books or comic book movies. It is not just a simple you get superpowers, side with the good people and BOOM! You are superhero no questions asked. It is a commitment to a cause, a curse and blessing and honestly I LOVE that.

I also love what this implies during the first movie-Peter Parker of Mile's universe most likely have gone through the same thing, which makes his line of "You're like me." That much more impactful and devastating to me.

The hope in Peter's voice-when Peter Parker and Miles Morales first met, through the Spidy Sense they knew they where one in the same. And this gave Peter Parker hope because in that moment, he was not the only one who had to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. And to add insult to injury, it is HIGHLY implied Peter Parker was NOT a part of the Spider Society as seen in Across the Spiderverse. Peter didn't have that help so he truly felt he had to do everything by himself. Peter Parker felt he was alone until Miles came into the picture, which got his hopes up and I imagine really comforted Peter even in death that things would be okay, despite him saying otherwise.

Being a superhero takes a toll on people. And I think The Spider Within addresses that wonderfully.

[draiochteve]

Crossposting this rant from my Twitter because honestly I'm fucking exhausted. "Hating that I have to say this again, but please fucking stop putting me and other creatives on an "unproblematic cinnamon roll" pedestal. We do not wish to be up there and cannot and will not live up to your personal standards of what all that entails. Legit was just having a conversation with a friend about this and how terrified they are to post a darkfic because they don't want to "betray" anyone when they did nothing but have people force a label on them they didn't ask for. It is not a fucking betrayal. Especially if it's tagged and clearly labeled to avoid, what betrayal is there? That this stranger on the internet you projected a comfort zone onto failed to meet your expectations for that?" "I promise you, I like things and enjoy media featuring shit that are squicks to many. I will write and want to write some fucked up shit and explore it. I will do so with thorough tags and warnings because I care enough to and I want people knowing what they are getting into. BUT my art is not a condemnation or evidence to me as a person. I have been open about myself and people can speculate, but you do not know me. Art is made for as many reasons as there are in the sky because humans have such complexities. It is beautiful. It should be as it is." "Just fucking leave people alone and recognize their humanity. Recognize they aren't just your "fav". Do not strip us of who we are to fit the mirage in your head that is only built to shatter one day." And to add to it, no, I will not condemn others for their art. I do not fucking know them. And if you expect me to make a public statement, you have already failed to ask what I have asked of you above. I am not your representation. I am not your hero. I am a fucking fic writer in the damn void. I will let you down as it was never my responsibility to raise you up. I appreciate the support as always, but I create for myself and my motives. No one else's.

[gabessquishytum]

Hello Friend,

I am begging you to hear me out on a fic idea I just have not the time nor talent to write for now. But I really want to one day so maybe if you’ll help me get some of it out? Or feel free to add to it! It goes like this:

Hella slow build, Hob has been searching for Dream since he missed their meeting 24 yrs ago. He has nothing more to go on that Johanna Constantine looking for a being of his stranger’s description. But one day he sees Death and she can no longer hide from him that Dream was captured. She fesses up and gives Hob a hint of who to look for: “The Magus shouldn’t have been strong enough, Hob. Someone else helped him so you should stay away from it.” Hob won’t listen to that and she knows it. Bada-bing bada-boom Hob fishbowl savior intro is done.

The big thing I cannot get out if my mind is the LONGING. That they become friend friends who BOTH talk, about former lovers and sons, who visit each other’s houses, who eat together and cry together, who watch movies and maybe cuddle slightly too closely. I’m talking about the longing of too many wistful stares, too many deep silences, too much hand holding and charged eye contact, and so many unsaid words but it mostly being, “I love you.” Then after 20+ years of friendship, after Hob has reinvented himself again they finally have it out.

It was a family dinner or some stressful event for either Hob or Dream where they get too tipsy and too honest. “Gods Dream, can I finally kiss you?” Dream runs to the Dreaming out of fear but Hob finds his way to the throne room. Dream can only stare at him as he ascends the stairs and by god, why is he so beautiful? Why is he so unobtainable? Hob is not hurt, not angry, he’s confused. This cat and mouse game is so like them yet when they should have started furiously making out on Hob’s couch, Dream had disappeared into the air.

“I don’t understand, Dream. Surely, you must know how much I feel for you. I haven’t been able to hide it since you that day you shot a ramen noodle out of your nose at my impression of Destiny.” Dream chuckles but he still doesn’t look up from where his hands clench at his robe, pulling the stars around him like a shield. Hob steps forward so that their feet almost touch and he gently cups Dream’s face. Dream sighs as he melts into that hand and he’s grateful Hob does not make him look up further because seeing his beautiful face would crush him. Hob continues as a thumb caresses along a pale cheekbone. “I worried for centuries that you didn’t feel the same but I see the way you look at me. I know the regard you have given me in spades is so rare that even Lucienne couldn’t believe it. And I know I can comfort you, that I can make you laugh and that I am not afraid of any aspect of you. I can love you like you have never been loved before. And I know that you know it. So can you tell me why you ran?”

Dream takes a long time to say what he’s been thinking because while he needs Hob to know he is afraid what Hob knowing it will mean. “I will not have a relationship with you, Hob.”

“Why not?”

“I have already stated my intent, why must you know the reasoning?”

“Because I know you aren’t thinking about this right so I want to know what your lovely brain is cooking up there in order to make this reasoning.”

Hob says it so plainly, so lightheartedly that it should make Dream angry if it wasn’t something he adored about the man. But he will feign angry anyway in a spiteful attempt to get Hob to back off even though it’s obvious to them both that he won’t. “I won’t explain myself to a mere mortal. I cannot be with you so end this folly.”

“I’m actually immortal and cannot die so… And you said can’t that time.”

It was a trap. Dream turns away with a huff, out of Hob’s intoxicatingly warm palm. He walks towards the stained glass windows hoping the distance will help settle him but considering it’s colorful swirling motif is a representation of Hob’s joyous laugh the irony almost makes him scoff. He is so fickle these days. His false anger turns to embarrassment and then that turns to agony. He wants nothing more than to sink into Hob’s arms but he cannot be so weak as to ruin him. He is in the heart of the Dreaming at the helm of his throne but deep inside he knows Hob has all the power here. How long had that been true?

“Dream? My love, what are you thinking?”

Hob’s kindness burns him. Immediately his proverbial heart slams into his throat, choking him and tears well in his starry eyes. If Hob won’t take his anger maybe he would take the truth. “I cannot care for you in this way, Hob. I would not see you scorned the way I have ruined all those who previously cared for me.”

“Dream. You would not ruin me. And even if you did I would thank you for it.”

Images of Hob’s imagining flood in. Him crying with a reminiscing smile. Them screaming at each other and slamming doors. Hob wearing a suit of armor about to fight Hell for Dream and asking only to kiss him upon the hand as a boon though he knows he will never return from battle. It’s too much so Dream folds further in on himself.

“Love, please. I can see you’re hurting. Let me help you, let me love you.”

His pleading hurts and Dream does something he has never done before. He turns to face Hob and suddenly drops to his knees in front of him. Hob immediately lunges to pick him up but before he can do so Dream lays his hands on the icy stone before Hob’s bare feet. He closes his eyes against the tears there and places his forehead between his upturned palms. “Please. Please, Hob Gadling. Grant me mercy from this torture.”

Hob’s stunned into silence at the king kneeling before him. “Dream…I…”

“I beg of you, Hob. I could not bear it if I hurt you the way I have hurt those who came before you in loving me. Even now, I cannot say the words for fear calamity would instantly strike you down. So please, I am begging you as all that I am. As Dream of the Endless, Oneiros, Morpheus, Ruler of Dreams, King of Nightmares, and the master of the Dreaming and its inhabitants, I beg you please, do not love me.”

Silence echoes in the hall and the only sounds that make it pass the roaring in Hob’s ears is Dream’s unspoken words. I love you.

*****

That’s all I got so far in this hour long sleep deprived rant session (sorry!) but all that really matters to me is the image of Dream kneeling. Him begging Hob not to love him because I have always thought Dream would never accept Hob’s love so easily out of fear for hurting him because of course he’s already in love. I just always like the idea of them knowing but not saying anything because longing and pining are what make love confessions feel so much like relief. And I just want Hob to be as patient in this matter as a man who waits decades for an unknown friend. But mostly, I just want to be in looooovvvvveee.

Sorry this got out if hand lol. I did not mean to drop all this on yah😅 Any thoughts?😅 I know this isn’t like your normal asks but I’m ace so the smuttiness doesn’t occur to me so naturally. But if I ever get to writing this (in 10 years lol) then I will defs have some crying throne sex for you😘

Have a great day!! Thank you for all your wonderful thoughts that bring me joy everyday!!❤️

-🧶 Anon

🧶 anon you have RUINED me. Dream begging Hob not to love him??? Hi I'm going to cry. Dream has hardly ever begged in the entire course of his existence!! He desperately wants to tell Hob that he loves him - he can't even say it! He'd rather beg and humiliate himself than risk hurting Hob.

And poor Hob 😢 what would you do if the love of your life BEGGED you not to love him?! Holy shit!!!!

Hngnng. Thank you for sharing this, I hope you have the opportunity to continue with it! I think it has amazing potential and you can make lots of us cry with this concept!!!