#if it is david (which it doesn't look like him) i think its funny that he was just standing there waiting for his next scene

[commonmexicanname]

*slaps table* Speaking of scenes unseen... We go from this:

Cut to Aziraphale ending his convo with the Metatron and entering the bookshop.

To Crowley just standing there in the background as Nina and Maggie leave:

WHAT ELSE DID THEY TALK ABOUT???

[body-face-words]

Let's look into "Maybe I should've married Michael Sheen" and "And he's my lover!"

Thank you @killerqueen-82 for providing the links!

I made gifs of these two instances slowed down and zoomed in to see them better, but tumblr is not letting me upload them so here they are.

Starting with David:

In the video, you can see him think, staring off for a split second and answering with 'maybe I should have married Michael sheen.

He pushes himself back, resting on the chair, shuffles, and crosses his legs. In previous interviews, he crosses his legs because he's getting comfortable and shuffling around. That's normal for him, but when we take his face into account, this action has more meaning behind it.

He's aware of what he's saying and probably thinks he's said too much. His lips are pursed, eyes opens, brows raised as leans away while crossing his legs.

His eyes are wide with a serious look on his face. His mouth is in a straight line, with the corners horizontal. This wasn't meant to be funny or a joke. Like in other events, he shuts himself off before anymore comes out.

The wide opened eyes are because he's (consciously or unconsciously) trying to watchout for any threats/danger OR trying to get his point across (look into my eyes, I'm saying the truth). His leg crossed and arm went in front of him in a defensive position. I don't think he was protecting himself from the audience or the person next to him. It's most likely something personal. Shielding himself from what he said because he feels vulnerable.

David then looks down, takes a breathe in trying to soothe himself, thinks and continues with his answer.

Overall, Davids reaction to his answer is of caution. It was not a joke or something he found amusing/funny. It's something that made him feel vulnerable in some way, yet decided to say it anyways.

This takes place from 7:15 - 7:29

Michael is more telling on his face than body. His legs/feet shuffle, plays/grips the bottle cap.

Outright, he is ticked off about not knowing this information.

Michael during this section of the interview, snaps his head 4 times in total. This action is usually done when anger, disbelief, or astonishment is felt out if nowhere.

For example, when someone tells you information about your bestest friend in the world that you had no idea about. You'll probably be confused as to why your best friend didn't share that with you, then maybe be annoyed/pissed off that they didn't.

Michaels last smile is fake. It's stiff and his movements, especially his head, are sharp and snappy. His cheeks don't reach his eyes, causing them to become smaller which means a forced smile was made. When he first looks off, his thinking with a smile, then second before"he never mentioned that" his smile stiffens and falls. His instant reaction was think and put a good face on.

When he says "and he's my lover" Michael grips the bottle cap he has in his left hand. Not knowing this information really did throw him off. After stating the David is his lover, Michael takes a drink from his water. It could be that he was thirsty or unconsciously stopping himself from talking. Drink or eating is also something done to calm ourselves down, whether we're aware of it or not.

Michaels tone is playful and, the best way I can describe it is stiff/rigid. Playing it off and not making a big deal. The body flinch (an instant reaction done usually without thinking) at the end is kind if like a kid when they say "its mine!" and stop their foot or shake their arms up and forth. Or it could also be disbelief "He's my lover! Why didn't he mention this?"

Edit: I forgot to mention! The knee squeeze has different meaning - excitement, control of energy, and (this next one doesn't apply to Michael here but I'll include it) nervousness/protection.

Neither of them, from my point of view and analysis, neither was joking about what they stated.

David was serious and his micro expressions and body language only transmitted seriousness and defensiveness while Michael was more ticked and trying to play it off.

Neither of them took the idea of being in a relationship with the other as a joke or something to amuse other people. Perhaps Michael waa trying to play it off as a joke, but it makes me doubt with how personal he took this.

[amarayys]

EPISODE 13 CHP 2 DRDT SPOILERS.

so. WHAT THE FUCK. Levi has basically no empathy confirmed. He wants to be liked but he doesn't understand what caring about others is like. Ace tells levi to die. Lmao. Also he's so suspicious +He mentions the only person who he ever trusted. WHO NOW??? Eden and Arei doomed yuri. We get Arei and David flashback. Arei's cg looks like sora from sdra2s final cg btw thats just a random thought i had. Arei you can't do this to me. She really said "I'm a piece of shit but so is David so let's fix eachother" AUHSVGDHBJFKL Okay. EDEN. WHAT THE FUCK. EDEN. NOBODY SAW THIS COMING. I WAS SO CONVINCED IT WAS TERUKO BUT IG NOT??? Eden took Xander's eye out. So. Eden's probably a traitor, though it's probably not voluntary - we see her crying as she holds the bloody fork. I'm sorry, but with this, I think Eden culprit and Levi accomplice theory is over. I just don't think it works. Also how in the fuck does Arei know about that. my girl eden getting character development real david lying cause he thinks hes tough shit teruko DEFENDING LEVI??? YALL???? SHES PROJECTING HOW SHE FELT IN CHP 1 ONTO LEVI AND DEFENDING HIM I HATE HER /pos DAVID SNEEZING SPRITE LMAO. okay so all secrets are revealed. Teruko is either lying or mistaken about her secret, cause the look David gives her after it CANNOT be innocent. this does tell us something though - the family one applies to teruko, if shes not lying on purpose. but...what??? Who does family refer to? It cant be her parents, she never knew them. And she barely remembers her brother. Maybe it's the others at the orphanage, or her friends? Also, she feels survivors guilt apparently and wished she died with whoever family is. Somebody give my girl Teruko a break. EVERYONE SMOKES TERUKO FOR NOT KNOWING WTF THE SPINNY THING IS. Fandom cheers as Teruko finally stops getting interrupted and explains the murder method. WHIT AS A DOG HAD ME CACKLING I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. We see that Teruko's drawing isn't much better than her handwriting (which we get more samples of btw!!!!!!!) Nico's gonna have to explain the murder... maybe the theory that Nico was framed by / helped someone is true, but idk. Teruko's interrogating the shit out of them. So. Culprit? I think realistically, the best options for the culprit are Ace, Rose, and Whit. Maybe Hu, Veronika or Nico if you squint REALLY hard but I doubt it. I think Ace is SUPER suspicious, half because vibes and half because david calling his ass out here

Rose definetly has potential to be the culprit, but idk. im tired leave me alone. WHIT. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING YOUVE SAID THIS TRIAL IS SO SUSPICIOUS. YOUVE BEEN THROWING BLAME ONTO LEVI CONSTANTLY. U KNOW ABOUT HANGING SPECIFICS FOR SOME REASON. UR SO SUSPICIOUS UR NOT SUSPICOUS ok thats it unrelated to this post, i made a doc of my live reactions to stuff and here are some things i wrote that i thought were funny

I am tired but this episode was SO good. I'll probably make a more in dept theory/post on it tmr lmao its 1:36 am.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

explanations under the cut

Elizabeth Afton is actually the Youngest Sibling - as @birdsareblooming pointed out, when we see her room in fnaf4, she has a torn-apart mangle toy. mangle was stated to be made to entertain toddlers. would also explain why she's not in the gameplay, she's at daycare/with her mom

The Vengeful Spirit is Michael Afton - another one where cori convinced me and I might have an entire essay that I will publish after I finally sit down and edit through the Security Logbook section but until then here's a bullet point post

Mimic = Burntrap - i dont think i have to explain this we're all talking about it i just know people are gonna be mad at me for it

The Girl in Drowning is representative of Charlie, not Cassidy - She's literally got gray skin, black hair, gray clothes, and neon green lighting, much like a certain gray-skinned black-haired pixel girl with a green bracelet who died in the rain (water motif). Her dragging Kara down because she doesn't want to be alone could be seen as a metaphor for Charlie trying to give life but instead kinda sticking them all in robots

FNAF AR had some BANGIN re-skins - come on. look at them. Clockwork Ballora? Bangin. Broiler Baby? Bangin. Catrina Toy Chica? BANGIN. Springtrap as an actual fucking clown???? BANGIN.

Vanessa is an Afton in the Gameverse, too – Cori's workin on a whole explanation diagram for this but the most BASIC evidence is "her last name starts with 'a' and she's a nepo baby." I dont think she's William's DIRECT daughter cause man died in the 90s and she was 23 in the 2030s so. grandkid or smth

If Edwin/David is a metaphor for anything it's William/CC and not Henry/Charlie – listen i understand the whole "single dad building the robots and then breaking one in a rage" thing from TSE but also the mimic likes to mimic its creator and child before all else and who is it mimicking? afton and the little boy in sb who happens to look a shitton like cc. also game!charlie is never indicated as having a special plushie that followed her everywhere but cc very certainly did and hey if mimic can grow and shrink to fit in anything whos to say it didnt shrink into the fredbear to repeat stock phrases to cc such as "tomorrow is another day." also in the character encyclopedia art of cc he is holding his fredbear plush the same way burntrap positions his arm to imitate holding something. an

They're not gonna pull the Charliebot twist again. Nobody's a secret robot – first off from a writing perspective that's not the kinda twist you do twice. second off with the... less than stellar reception to the twist in the first place i dont think theyre gonna pull it again

"Cassidy" isn't the Golden Freddy Kid's name, it's Crying Child's – the logbook has Crying Child communicate through manipulating the text, while the spirit he's talking to speaks in faint writing; the second spirit never has a confirmed identity, but CC is most definite considering the stuff referenced around him. The "ITS ME CASSIDY" is revealed through.... manipulated text. The clues are in........ manipulated text. "It's Me" is CC calling out to Michael. The other spirit says "My name is..." a couple times BUT they also ask CC if he remembers his name just a few pages before. Granted this might just be us not understanding something but also if Cassidy is CC's name then who the fuck is Golden Freddy Kid. is Michael Brooks still canon

The nightmare gas didn't "ruin the lore" it's just kinda funny – look guys literally all of this lore is fucked, the fact they just threw in "also William Afton was doing nightmare gas experiments on kidnapped kids and then abandoned it for shits and giggles" in the eighth book of their second anthology series and then moving on like nothing happened while the fanbase collapses in on itself is like THE funniest thing they could've done

[fictionalfiona]

[Part 1] - Boyfriend Asmr Series Recommendation!!

hii, everyone! I've decided to give you guys some recommendations on my favorite bf asmr series that I love sooo much.

Idk about you guys but its been hard tryna find some good series that don't involve just kissing but have a nice build-up to the relationship!! That's why I find series better than just one-shot asmrs cuz those usually don't have the best character development and depth in their relationships, unlike series which often offer a more engaging and satisfying narrative journey [However I know a few good one-shot recs if anyone want those ^^].

The system i'll be using to give u guys the recs is: Series Overview (Overview of what the series is abt): ❤️ Cuteness lvl : /5

🔥 Spicy lvl: /5

❗ Plot lvl: /5

💕 My Thoughts:

lets get into the recs then! 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

btw to get the links to the series, click on the picture collages

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1 - Best Friend's Older Brother Confesses While Drunk [M4A]

Series Overview: "Your best friend's older brother invites you over again, thinking you'll have the house to yourself. It doesn't last long before you're forced to hide in the closet together. What happens next? (You kiss and fool around, of course.)" ❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: I absolutely love this series! It was one of the first bf asmrs I've ever listened to and it always gives me butterflies whenever I relisten to the audio series. The first episode is essentially about how you visit your best friend named Alex's house to see them only to find Alex's older brother opening the door to tell you that Alex isn't here. Then Alex's older brother invites you in and you share a drink which leads to unexpected things to be revealed..!! The tension of your best friend potentially finding out about the relationship was REAL and the tension grows even more as the series progresses. PLUS Phasmid's deep British accent is not only hot (😻) but soo relaxing. Highly recommend this series if your looking for friends to lovers, tension, a deep british accent and is a binge worthy series cause this series only has 3 episodes.

2 -Trapped with your Scottish Tsundere Bully [M4A]

Series Overview: "Another busy day draws to a close as you prepare to head to your final class only to be ambushed by David; the Scottish exchange student, Football team running back and the bane of your existence. However, today he seems... off. Something's bothering him, you can tell. And as he drags you through the corridors to speak with you, you have a feeling you're going to find out what it is soon enough..."

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: THIS SERIES IS ACTUALLY SO FIRE! David is such a cutie pie and I think of him all the time!! This series is sort of like a sports romance because we follow David who is an exchange student from Scotland (so he has a Scottish accent which might I say: IS SO CUTE JAHSKHSA) who is trying to get better grades so that he can graduate high school and get those football scholarship offers he's been receiving. But the problem is that he has to first graduate but it isn't looking too promising for him until he meets YOU. The class topper and the person he kindaa bullies from time to time... But he asks for your help and u reluctantly help him out. Lemme just say that Pebbles (aka the voice of David) is an AMAZING scriptwriter and this whole series was just so funny but also heartwrenching to listen. PLUS THE VOICE ACTING IN THIS SERIES IS GRAMMY WORTH. There are other voice actors in this series too which is even cooler! AND DAVID'S NICKNAME FOR THE LISTENER IS SHORTSTACK!! SO CUTE >U<! Its a nickname he uses throughout the series and when someone tries to call you the same nickname repeatedly to annoy David...lets say he gets a little overprotective and things go south (can't spoil it for yall 😌) Overall, this series is great if your looking for enemies to lovers, sports romance and DRAMAA

3 -Starline SERIES [M4A]

Series Overview: "Part one of a romance series between the listener and a peculiar alien. After waking up on his ship, you realize that due to circumstances, you are not getting back to Earth so soon. Not before this stranger completes his mysterious job. With a whole new universe you had not even heard of before now just hours away, who knows what to expect? Not a soul could tell you, but maybe your new friend can show you the way. And your new friend. . . Perhaps there is more to him than what meets the eye?"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥.5/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗❗X100/5

💕 My Thoughts: HEAR. ME. OUT. I know sometimes alien romances aren't everyone's cup of tea and I get it. I was just like you. UNTILL THIS AUDIO SERIES!! Because why is this series so stinking cute and had me at the edge of my seat cause of all the ACTION! THERE WERE TIMES WERE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE BRECKETT 😭😭 But feelings aside, this series follows your adventure with this alien named Breckett who...uh...kinda accidentally crashed his spaceship on top of u 😃. Listen I didn't get that part either and how we are still alive but its alr cause he somehow patched us up in his high-tech medical bay aboard his spaceship. Alien technology is wacky shit 😭. Anyways Breckett informs you that you sadly cannot go back to earth just yet because he has a mission he was sent out to do on Mars and other planets so going back to Earth would only make him lose precious time. So now you're stuck with him on this crazy ass adventure with dodging asteroid storms, outsmarting intergalactic pirates and you two will have to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIVESSS!! Overall, this series is sooo funny, soo eventful and if you're looking for a good SLOOW BURN (and I mean slow girl but soo worth it),Strangers to lovers and sci fi vibes then you'd love this series!

4 -Your Childhood Crush Is Kind Of An Idiot [M4A]

Series Overview: "Charlie's first day at Sweet Pete's Pizzeria has been less than great, but when a familiar face pulls up on a familiar skateboard, he has a decision to make! Be a little rat filled with regret, or…apologizes"

❤️Cuteness lvl : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Xinfinity/5

🔥Spicy lvl: 🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

❗ Plot lvl: ❗❗❗❗/5

💕 My Thoughts: OKAY IF YOU'VE SEEN MY BLOG, you already know how much I'm obsessed with Charlie 😭. But there is a reason okay!!! This series follows your reunion with your old childhood best friend Charlie who works at a pizzeria. You haven't seen each other since graduating high school...until now! When you see each other again old feelings unravel and Charlie now doesn't want to stay out of touch with you anymore so you two decide to meet up at a skatepark after his shift. I can't express how much I love this little rat 😭❤️ He is the epiphany of cuteness and I can't tell u how many times I've listened to the series. I loovee his little Brooklyn accent too!! Also note that Charlie does make little references to this other series that Yuurivoice (aka the voice of charlie) made and you actually don't have to watch that other series to understand this one so dw! Overall I STINKING LOVE THIS SERIES and would actually say its my favorite asmr series I've ever listened too :D. If you're looking for childhood best friends to lovers, slow burn, FUNNY ASS DIALOGUE, wanting to dip ur toe into the yuurivoice universe then this series is 4 u!

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If you stayed this long, thank you! Im thinking of making a part 2 where I have more series to recommend like good mafia,crime and more sci fi series so comment down below if u want more!

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Even When the Words Went Wrong

First posted: May 27, 2019

Focuses on: Jason Todd and Bruce Wayne

Favorite bookmark: "In which, Bruce doesn't fuck it up."

Second favorite bookmark: "I got actual tears in my tears like this fic beat up my heart in a dark alley and then stole its wallet"

Tier: Pretty middle, but at least in the top half of all metrics

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Apparently this only took me a couple days to write, which is cool, and also makes sense. Alternate POV fics are, in many ways, so much easier because I already know what happened. I just have to express how a different person perceived it and felt about it.

Part one's title came from the David Cook song, and this one is a continuation of the same lyric, just slightly changed because my version is more poetic and appropriate.

Original: You've always been the sweetest song / Even when the world went wrong

Incorrect, Mr. Cook, do better.

Bruce Wayne had killed Jason in a thousand different ways. And Jason had killed Bruce in a thousand and one.

Some nights, it was all Jason could see when he closed his eyes.

I knew when I finished the first part that I would need to do more. I couldn't push the fic any further than it had gone from Bruce's POV, but I didn't want to end it where I did, so time to jump heads.

“You don’t have what it takes to give this city what it needs,” Jason spat, fully in the swing of his narrative. The Pit hummed like a swarm of locust in the back of his skull. “You’re weak. You’ve always been weak. You—“

I'd done POV swaps before, so I was already aware that one way that alternate POVs are not easier is finding a way to cover the same ground without just copy-pasting dialogue again. It gets so boring. Luckily here Bruce and Jason are both so distracted at different points that they can each zone in and out of the narration.

Batman’s composure was flaking off him in chunks. It was a sight to see. He was angrier than Jason had ever seen, jaw on the verge of cracking with the strain. Jason felt a sickly sort of pleasure that he was at least able to elicit that after all this time.

I personally find it funny that Jason thinks Bruce is mad, that that's the only emotion he can stick a label to, because he's never fully seen Bruce panicking like this before.

Somehow he had never considered that in the lost years Bruce might have changed, too. It wasn’t that Bruce was unrecognizable. He wasn’t. The Bruce of him was still there, grim and unyielding. The grey in his hair was new, clustered around the temples, not bright enough to be Alfred’s silver but close. There were lines, too, that had been there before, but only as the finest pencil strokes. Now they were cuts, deep and furrowed. They made Bruce look harder than ever, a man carved from stone, but stone that was beginning to crumble. He called Bruce old man, first as a joke and now as a taunt, but this was the first time it almost felt real.

I did Bruce a little dirty here, since by the timeline I use he's still in his 30s here. Oh well. The changes, both from the passage of time and the weight of grief, would be shocking to Jason regardless. Like. That's his dad. He knows what his dad's face is supposed to look like.

His finger stuttered against the trigger. He could pull it. Be done right here, right now. This close, there was no way to miss. It was why he had come to Gotham. It was all Jason could see when he closed his eyes. He didn’t want this.

That's the truth of Jason, the one I think all my fics about his anger and bitterness and resentment have to come to in the end. He wouldn't hate Bruce as much as he thinks he does if he didn't love him with the same intensity. He can lie to himself all he wants, but it's a truth he has to face in the end.

Bruce had him trapped, but Bruce wasn’t fighting. He was… he… was… Crying? Bruce had his face buried in Jason’s hair, and Jason could feel the tears on his scalp and the shuddering breaths rippling through Bruce’s chest. “B?” he whispered.

Is there anything more alarming than seeing your parent cry.

He was lost. He was falling. He was thirteen and wide-eyed, awed beneath his wariness. He was fourteen and reckless, eager to please and devoted to the end. He was fifteen and cocky, unsure of his path but sure of who would walk it with him. He was fifteen and dying, alone and crying for his dad.

I'm pretty sure I've accidentally written this same paragraph like five different times across different fics with different characters. Oops.

Bruce ignored his own tear-streaked face to rub a thumb across Jason’s cheekbone, a gesture of habit formed over a fraction of a lifetime, but the only fraction that had really mattered.

I love that paragraph specifically because I can feel it. Is there a name for that? Like written ASMR?

The end of this fic is so schmoopy in a way I don't normally like to be, but I do wonder how much that speaks to a culturally rooted aversion for male emotions that aren't anger, you know?

Also the end note is a Bible quotation but specifically the version I heard in my head is the Barlow Girls song. And some of you just got hit with 00s memories upside the back of the head, you're welcome.

And lastly, this one fic garnered multiple comments of very nice people saying DC needed to hire me I AM STILL WAITING DETECTIVE COMICS

[heich0e]

hewwo liv i think you mentioned you read nonfiction so i was wondering if you had any recs? i'm trying to widen my repertoire a bit more and start reading more nonfiction (as much as i love fiction i think my brain has started regressing a little), but the only nonfic ive ever dipped into are my econ textbooks haha

also i hope you're having a good day !!!!!

HI GUY!! i think one of the best parts abt non-fiction is how nondescript that classification is, and consequently how enormous and diverse your options are within it. i think it's easy for people to generalize non-fiction as being boring retellings of fact or history, because most people's first introductions to non-fiction reading are academic. but in reality there are so many different types of nonfiction, and so many different styles of presenting it in writing. (for the sake of simplicity i'm gonna just limit this convo to narrative nonfiction, but if u wanna read something expository like a text book or instruction manual power to ya.)

my recommendation would be to start with something like a biography or memoir. to me, reading a really good biography doesn't feel very different from reading a novel. you're still following someone's story, they're just a real person and not a character. from where i'm sitting right now i can see trevor noah's biography 'born a crime' on my bookshelf, and i remember really loving that one the first time i read it. having been a fan of his comedy, his narrative voice felt authentic and familiar throughout the book. setting aside his demonstrated talent for storytelling, it's also just a very interesting look into life in south africa under apartheid, along with its lasting impact, and as a mixed race child, noah's personal perspective is extremely compelling.

(keep in mind, i read that book as someone who was already a fan of trevor noah's so i immediately had a personal connection/interest to the story. if you have any comedians/musicians/actors/artists you really enjoy, maybe see if they've done any writing—that could help find something you connect with! i also recently read david mitchell's 'unruly' and i really enjoyed that one too—but i find him funny, and like learning about the history of monarchies. 'crying in h mart' by michelle zauner is also great.)

true crime is another popular non-fiction genre that i find people have an easier time getting into. i'm not a huge true-crime reader myself, but i've read a few interesting ones! i tend to go for ones that are more local to me, so i won't necessarily give any recs for this one.

i also had a weird phase where i was reading a lot of books about boats and shipwrecks. not sure what that was about. i read walter lord's 'a night to remember' when i was like 10 and i think that really is what it can all be traced back to. 'the wager' by david grann was fantastic (he also wrote killers of the flower moon which was very good, and not about a boat) but i recognize this is a very niche area of interest that u probably do not care about.

i also really like essay collections!! they tend to sort of cross or blur a lot of lines when it comes to genres, because while some would consider 'essay collection' a genre in and of itself, the essays themselves usually as collected around a particular topic or theme. another added benefit of essay collections are u can kind of leisurely pick away at them, or jump around in the book, since you usually aren't beholden to reading them cover to cover and following a single narrative thread. less pressure!!

a couple other recommendations, though at this point i'm sure you've given up on me (fair):

'the patriarchs' by angela saini

'i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki' baek sahee

'persepolis' by marjane satrapi

ok i'll shut up now!! i don't even think this was helpful!! my advice to you would be to think about something you're already passionate about/interested in, and find a book about it!! or think about something you'd like to know more about or be better educated/informed on. it's out there i promise <3

[kaelio]

DECEPTIVE MOVIE TRAILERS FOR DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES IF THEY WERE A CINEMATIC SERIES:

I love imagining misleading movie trailers, it's just a thing I do. If I had infinite money and time and a time machine and the rights to adapt the Anne Rice vampire novels, these are examples of extremely dishonest trailers for those movies I would enjoy:

Devil's Minion: Have it appear to be some kind of psychological thriller, either about a guy who is perceiving his stalker as a literal monster, or a guy who feels some Presence stalking him and envisions it as a mysterious, beautiful young man. He's not really my favorite but we need Christopher Nolan directing, like really hitting that Memento tone. What's real?? What's not real?? Daniel appears to be using drugs and the audience is like ohhh is this about addiction? And then it totally seems like a dark addiction metaphor, like Oscar bait maybe. Even when Daniel gets a handjob it isn't clear because Requiem for a Dream got a lot of awards.

(*Don't try to smoosh in with Queen of the Damned, you have enough going on here.)

Tale of The Body Thief: A romantic drama that doesn't seem to realize its intensely worrisome undercurrents (a la "Passengers"). We see a woman of the cloth ministering to a homeless man who, following a severe medical crisis that lands him in her care, seems to be having spiritual delusions. She connects with him over their shared faith... and their desire for meaningful intimacy. We get a swell of orchestral music... some sort of scene of them kissing in the rain... another scene from which we can infer they're in bed together, but the camera is centered on a crucifix on her wall. "I will find the power to come back to you..." he says.

Tale of The Body Thief (Part 2): Wham! Actually a lot of the audience doesn't realize that last trailer never gave you a title! Maybe they think it's a gimmick! It takes them a moment to realize this old man (Indiana Jones??) racing around the cruise ship is accompanied by the same actor as the homeless man described above. "GET THAT MAN!" David shouts as Raglan does some sort of parkour that isn't quite extreme enough to cue in the audience that he's supposed to be inhuman. We see Lestat-in-body pushing through people in a rave taking place on the cruise ship dance floor. It seems like a cynical tie-in because everyone is young and hot there (not really the primary demographic for cruises). Camera pans over some sort of jacuzzi tub with a bunch of women in bikinis in it. "Excuse me, ladies!" someone says as they jump over the tub and since he has a ripped shirt and he's hot the girls in the tub go "ooooooh!" And maybe they have cocktails so it's supposed to be funny. But really sell it as an action-comedy and then WHANG! "Tale of the Body Thief" appears in huge text onscreen like "COMING THIS SPRING" and Mojo's little head pops up from the bottom of the screen and barks.

The Vampire Lestat: Oh you just shoot it like The Favorite, like the exact same cinematography, or maybe Chevalier, but it's about a sensitive stage actor in pre-Revolutionary France, trying to focus on his art as the world becomes more fraught around him. It invites you into his sensitive artistic soul.... Is there time for gentleness, for optimism, for art, in an era of nascent conflict? What will social forces have in store for him, or for his troubled companion? And then maybe you do give away the game where at the last second you see the window explode and the big evil Nosferatu-Magnus bursts through the door with his big gummy mouth with the two fangs like "Rrrrraarrhg!!"

Memnoch the Devil: Starts with some overplayed song for 45-50 year old men in the background of a scene of Lestat and David stealing the artifacts from the dead Roger. Inter-cut with bits of Lestat dismembering Roger's body. They get into a car (no rooftops, Anne, it would look silly on screen! We can't!) and smirk at each other—apparent heist film. Lestat turns the knob for the radio and then another song for loser guys starts to play. "Dora's gonna get mad," David says, as if we're taking precious seconds of this trailer to no-homo the whole thing and establish regressive attitudes about women all at once. Lestat probably says something like "Chicks, man." The movie promises no actual content or any reason to be interested in it, as with most heist movies.

Memnoch the Devil: Hey? Is that the same guy? They're using the same guy for... what is this, a remake of It's A Wonderful Life? God this is worse than when Chris Pratt started voicing both Mario and Garfield. Find another actor!

Blood & Gold: We see a clawed hand sticking out of a glacier and suddenly... it moves!! Ice cracks around the hand! A huge, mysterious, looming figure bursts out of the ice, covered in rags and holding a giant battle axe!! Thunder and lightening appear in the background suddenly for no reason, and a song from Iron Maiden kicks in. Implies heavily that it's some sort of dark action film that may or may not be trying to lean on the popularity of Marvel's "Thor" movies. Like that Winnie the Pooh movie where he kills people. "THE OLDEST STORY..." the trailer narrator guy says, "... IS REVENGE"

The Vampire Armand: You start off with all of the boys sitting around, having a good time, talking about their futures, all the places they're planning to go, the things they want—like, highschool yearbook signing energy. And then there's this one kid who seems kind of smug and suddenly he's like, "pft, you guys, you think so small. You're focused about what the master can get you with his power... but I want the power 😏". And then you'd cut to him on his way up a big fancy marble staircase and you'd see him puffing himself up, excited, maybe even telling the narrator about the amazing situation he's in, but how since he's totally the favorite he's going to do what his peers are either too humble or doltish to consider: ask to learn the magic itself. And it's building tension and he's just-just-just about to ask and then you hear "No." Or "You're not ready. The magic isn't for you." Gives you this great set-up, like a Sorcerer's Apprentice thing. You're already in this kid's corner. How come he doesn't get the magic? Why would anyone try to keep someone from self-actualizing?? Not very cool. Anyway this would be almost exactly the same energy as the trailer for that new Disney movie Wish.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

So its early but I'm on Tumblr, and like.

You know. Saw a post. Like you do.

And it's about appropriating Jewish mythology and symbols and terms. And there is so much "DON'T DO THAT" in the post.

But I think the post gets it a lil wrong. What we're really looking for is respect. Respect our things. Our culture. Or symbols. They're not Happy Meal toys. Make some effort.

I saw a lot of comments on the post saying that people had never met a Jewish person, and that we are "professional victims."

Well hello. I'm a Jewish person, and we've been run out of more countries than you've had hot dinners, so we're more like professionals at getting the fuck out of places where people want us dead.

Let's do an edit!

Golems: if you're going to use them in your fantasy, please treat them with respect. They're a mythological creature borne out of the desperation of a people constantly on the run from assholes trying to burn down their lives, and thought of as protective. Don't use them as a weird monster. It's easy to find the lore. Read up.

Kabbalah: is so much stranger than you know, and worth doing research on. Please be respectful if you intend to use it in a story, or even try to practice it.

If it's Hebrew and it doesn't have anything to do with Judaism...man that is a weird one. Cuz it's our religious language but also people who aren't Jewish live in Israel and speak Hebrew but this one feels funny.

The Star of David: it's not a pentagram. It's not a generic symbol. It's pretty specifically Jewish. Sometimes it gets worn by people who want us dead? Uncomfortable.

Goy: isn't considered polite but is more polite than "fuckin goy" which I sometimes use when some goy is being a terrible asshole.

Lenny Bruce had a whole bit on this one:

Gentile: less rude. You non jews are just gentiles.

Antisemitism: that funny feeling in your bones when you know someone either doesn't like you because you are Jewish (those fuckers who wear the "6 million was not enough" shirts. IE; Hitler shoulda kilt more Jews), or when someone says shit like "you guys control the banks so I bet you'll get all 7 days of Passover off soon enough." We don't control the banks. I fucking promise. We don't control shit. Whatever power white Jewish people might have is allowed by the white gentile power structure and can be easily taken away.

When the big orange goy was president, and employed Steven Miller (Jewish. A piece of shit) I used to tell people that "we'll all wind up in the same train car anyway. He's no safer from the hate than the rest of us." I'm still right.

The word Jew: context matters. "The Jews" is an easy shorthand. The Jewish People takes longer to say. One time in a bar, in Mississippi, the director of another department from work pointed at me and yelled "JEW!!!" and that felt.

Bad.

It felt bad you guys.

1. Being singled out for what you are feels bad.

2. Mississippi feels like a place you don't want to be singled out for being Jewish.

3. "Jew" often gets bent into "jewy" which is derogatory. Women were sometimes called "jewesses" which was a little like being called a witch they wanted to burn at the stake.

Probably safe bet to just say Jewish People.

We've been around a long time, but there aren't a whole of us left. But we also come in all different types. A bunch of us are white, but some of us are Black or Latinx or Asian or Middle Eastern. We don't agree on any one way of doing things and we have a lot of opinions and sometimes some dude wanders around The Rockaways in New York with a machete looking for the closest synagogue because Kanye told him we're all evil.

We are constantly on the lookout for people who don't like us because WE KEEP FINDING THEM. Like sometimes you think somebody's cool, but it turns out they think we have horns and eat white Christian baby blood.

For the record, white Christians don't season their food, so that shit is too bland. Not enough dill. We'll pass.

But yeah. Just some thoughts on my culture. Thanks for reading.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

My whole renewed dive into trying to save all the John Oliver files I can get my hands on, which within a week escalated to me buying a new 1TB hard drive just to see how big a John Oliver folder I can make, started when it was noticed that this video was taken off YouTube:

I was glad I’d saved a copy of it, because I don’t trust anything to stay anywhere on the internet, if there’s something I like I immediately put it on my hard drive so it can’t disappear. I'm making this post mainly for anyone else who might not have saved this before YouTube took it down, here's where you can download it. Because no one should be denied the really fucking weird 25 minutes with baby comedians from 1997.

A few years ago I read this quote from Richard Ayoade, which I annoyingly can't find now, where he said he doesn't like this documentary, that they were just students and obviously didn't know what they were doing and some film people came in and said they wouldn't look bad in it but of course they do look bad. It was something like that, I can't find the exact quote. But I remember finding it odd, because surely no one is judging these people's actual comedic skill based on a few clips from a 25-minute video of when they were students. People just share it because it's funny to adorable little baby versions of the comedians who are famous now. Obviously they weren't doing high-quality comedy, they were like 19, no one cares.

Since then, I have learned that this is not quite true, and Richard Ayoade did, in fact, have reason to object to his weird student sketches being out there. Because apparently, some people are judging their comedic skill based on the time in 1997 when he and John Oliver did a weird sketch on a fence. My deep rabbit hole dives of about 18 months ago led me through a lot of old comedy message board threads, including one from 2006 of people absolutely ripping that video apart as a sign that comedy is well past its peak and this newfangled crop of comedians are all shit and the once-great institution of Cambridge Footlights has fallen. By 2006.

I normally don't link to things things directly from a message board on here, seems too close to that horrible thing where you take screenshots from one social media and post it on a different social media to make fun of it (so instead, I just occasionally see something I disagree with on a message board, and then write a post on here refuting it without posting the original context, to people who don't know what I'm talking about), but it feels more acceptable if it was from 2006, I think. It's not like the person who posted that in 2006 is likely to still be hanging around Britcom social media seeing who's quoting them. So I think... I think I need to quote just a little bit of it, because there was this one really long aggressive rant from this one 2006 post that was the funniest fucking thing (I won't like but it's not hard to find on Google):

I mean, I can't really communicate how bad it was, to be honest. But it was just the fact that you saw the two cunts writing the thing, sitting in a daylight-filled bar, giggling into their lager. You got the picture? Ugh. And John Oliver, who is the spitting image of David Baddiel (intentionally of course), is there with his pencil and notepad suggesting the lines with a grandiose smugness that made me really ill, and his mate (the blandest man ever) is there, with his jumper and his shoes, salivating over the comic genius he sees before him. Cunt, cunt, CUNT! They also have three girl-ones with them, all of whom have no talent whatsoever. You see one of them auditioning, where she has to do some improv, and she's shit... but the president (who looks like a fifteen year-old John Lloyd) can be heard wheezily guffawing at everything she says. And this serves only to make her improv even worse. And John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair.

That is, in case anyone's wondering, why my current Tumblr bio ends with the line: "John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair." It's a quote from a guy in 2006 who was really really mad about a 25-minute Footlights documentary.

So I would like to state, for the record, that by sharing this video, I am not endorsing the actual quality of the comedy in the few little sketches we see. I am also not endorsing the class system, the hold that a few elite institutions have over entire industries, Richard Ayoade's views on transgender people, or trivia in pubs. I just think they're adorable baby comedians as well as an interesting snapshot of comedy history. I'm pretty sure that's all it's supposed to be.

I am also not endorsing the class-based dominance of elite institutions when I say I still want that sitcom between two student comedians, Kim Tey and Wark Atson, who have to band together to get through their year-long university comedy play while hiding from everyone but each other their respective secrets of not really being a student there, and not really being Welsh. Madcap farcical hi-jinks ensue. People would watch it. I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions but I do quite enjoy Footlights stories, so I'm glad they made a really weird documentary with some of them. Also when I go to the UK this summer I've booked off one entire day to take the train to Cambridge and run around feeling like I'm in Harry Potter (Disclaimer: I also do not endorse JK Rowling's views on trans people, or at this point, on most things. Why can't we have nice things?).

I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions, but also,

And that probably the only time you'll hear someone compare John Oliver to John Robins (very different comedians, really), especially on a post that started out just being a way to share a video that's been taken off YouTube. Download the Google Drive link if you want to keep it, everyone. That was supposed to be the point of this post. It's a good video. It features Richard Ayoade and Matthew Holness and either that woman from Peep Show or her sister, I get them mixed up. And also it features John Oliver with, to be fair for one moment to that guy in 2006, quite Baddiel-like hair.

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Things I Noticed While Writing Light The Fuse: Part 4, Episode 2

Time for episode 2!

Two weeks ago according to Ethan later on, since he probably didn't waste too much time in Detroit, he's wearing the same outfit after all so he more than likely bailed that night

Ethan really is a sweet pea and I love him but god do I love writing that temper of his, I don't do it often enough yet between all the fun and smut and heartbreak and angst

I went to rewatch this bit for any details he might've filled in but nope, whole page is empty ;w; thanks Reprisal. Also laughing at Ethan literally leaving everything behind apart from this outfit and a single bar of chocolate. I love the detail that Horn makes its way into pretty much every title, it's a reoccurring bit

Again I was so not paying attention to anything when Johnson wasn't on screen that first watch that I completely missed that she gave him this front and center 🙃 what a jackass I am

I need to know what this means. It was never brought up again, not even when they met up. My guess is that it's supposed to be like 'look at this and feel reassured that I'll get you out' but the take that it could also mean 'show this to someone and they'll help you' is also interesting, but it's probably the former since everyone thinks she's dead and I doubt she has any friends left considering they think she started a war oop

He will be getting rid of this eventually and that's a promise

This is unforgiveable. It's also funny to me that both Ethan and Matty cry but Johnson, the man played by David 'He's Workin' Those Eyes' Dastmalchian, doesn't. Do you know how hard it is to write scenes where he's sad but doesn't cry cause he's Johnson? Extremely.

It's been pointed out before but Johnson is just straight up gone and Ethan is in his place lol like at least get him a stand-in if David had to be gone for the far shots

I still cannot believe that Bash made me imagine this. This line is so fuckin wild

Even Matty got worried when Bash started doing his thing he was not ready for a fight here

lmao Gary in his sunglasses trying to look intimidating, imagine Johnson trying that, it's not working for you bud

This one's a double, cause not only does this say that Doris taught Ethan how to come down from his panic attacks (which makes me cry) but it's also the super rare time that any amount of time is mentioned. It was so incredibly difficult to work out my timeline for this show that I had to grab the one single date shown (ep4) and move entirely around that based on what everyone says, when the boys go on a run since it takes 11 days (ep5), and when their outfits change

This isn't a detail or anything I just wanna say I love writing their scenes since it lets me really get into Ethan's head while he's hearing her actively push away everything he's saying. I kinda made him way more self-aware in my fic because of that, but having him be aware but still trusting her enough to rationalize her actions in real-time is a lot more fun to me than blind trust

I love this line so much lmao there's so many lines I passed over because I watched without the subs, like I just thought Bru was eating the ham pie like that because he liked it but nope he gets them 'runny' so he can 😂 I also like the detail how they had Ethan order four, so either one is for Johnson or Matty's having two lol

That's the one thing that lets me down in this show, Johnson keeps disappearing for no reason ;w; he should always be by Matty's side even without me knowing they're dating so let's just imagine he ducked inside to grab more drinks or he's using the bathroom and he'll just be right back, hence the fourth pie 👍

Can everyone please stop hitting Matty 😭

Matty just going 'mm' and then getting back to eating lmao he's so fuckin cute he doesn't even care, there's also no reason for him to be sitting on the table and hunched over his food like a gremlin he's gunna make me kiss him what who said that

Well I reached my limit trying to talk about their last scene so I guess I'll see you tomorrow to wrap up ep2, who would've thought such a short amount of scenes would need two posts? 💛💙

[lazywerebat]

Dwayne With Asexual S/O !

( pic is funny lol & im going to put pics like this on each hc of boys )

headcanon /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

Paul <3 † David <3 † Marko <3

a/n; btw i made it in this that S/O doesn't know their ace or even know what that term is so yeah and Dwayne ofc helps his S/O figure out that their ace, enjoy ppl <3

from others I think Dwayne is most understanding one with youre asexuality

how he would find out abt is, you coming out to him after he thought you would want to do it

you two were at your house, just cuddling and sharing kisses while watching a movie

when sex scene comes up, you moved on him( out of uncomfortableness )with that he thought you were turned out and he thought you didn't wanted to directly tell him so you did that

he was wrong asf lol

when you felt his hands going to your private parts and you were there being like “wtf” without realising what youre doing

when you realised, you quickly removed his hands off of you and moved away from him( to other side of couch )

ofc he was confused and was wondering why did you do that? weren't you just horny few seconds ago and ready?

you both were just looking at each other, not knowing what to do

you didn't know how he would react to your asexuality! you got so close to him that you didn't wanted to lose him

you were having so many thoughts which were confusing him more

he( tried )read your mind to understand situation better and but your thoughts would get in way of one another

you opened your mouth to say smth but nothings coming out, you were just frozen and had worried look on youre face

“Are you okay sweetheart?” you heard him ask you, he didn't wanted to make sudden movement, he didn't wanted to scare you and didn't wanted to make you more uncomfortable

“Im sorry” you said, trying not to tear up, which confused him more! for what are you apologizing? you didn't do anything wrong love!

“Baby, you don't have to apologize for not being ready, its–” he started but you cut him off “Dwayne, I will never be ready” you stated, he looked at you more confused, he wanted to ask 'why?' but he wanted to let you finish

“I don't want to have sex with you at all or hell even with someone else. I don't feel that kind of attraction to anybody like others do. I just don't know, whats wrong with me.” you said with tears in your eyes, Dwayne was coming closer to you and he placed his hands on your cheeks

“Hey, love, look at me” he softly said, wiping tears that were coming from your eyes “Theres nothing wrong with you” he smiled, “Its nothing?” you shaky asked w confused tone “Yeah, youre just perfect sweet thing and i think you might be asexual” he warmly explained to you

you were confused with him and that new word, “Whats that?” you asked, “How you just described to me you didn't feel sexual attraction at all, that is what asexual is” he smiled explaining, you smiled at him and leaned into his chest

“And youre cool with it?” you asked with curiousity and scaredness, “Im not a monster Y/N” he said rubbing your back with his hand

after that, you two were having heart to( dead )heart conversation about it and how you felt

[pasteloctoz]

Day 2 of redacted "what ifs"

I know mermay is almost over but i can't stop thinking about who in redacted would be mermaids and how the romances would work. So here. I tried to stay as close as I could to the original tomance storylines as I could.

Damn crew first

Gavin and FL-

Gavin is a merman (specifically a siren) while FL is a shifter that just recently found out they can shift. When they met, Gavin was singing in a large cavern and FL wasn't drawn in by it even though they appeared human. They got to know eachother after a while and Gavin started looking for a way to shift to a human form so he could spend more time with FL. FL had started to meet other merfolk including Hux, Dames, Laz, and eventually Kody. For some reason they were drawn to FL (FL having some type of energy close to what lovely had before they were revealed to be a latent). Kody (shark merman cause predator), pulled FL into the ocean. FL had shown a fear of the ocean for a while up until that point and freaked the fuck out when Kody did this. Luckily, Hux was near and he scared Kody away. From there FL tries to deal with this while also still having a life as a human to. Eventually they ditch the human life and live with Gavin in the ocean city.

Freelancers, including Sam, would probably be able to shift to whatever kind of merfolk they'd want, though it'd take a toll on their magic if they do it too much. Which means that Sam would have a harder time shifting from one form to another.

Huxely and Damien-

Huxley is a whale shark merman because they can withstand high temperatures and those goofy ahh fish always remind me of gentle giants. Damien is some kind of magma merman just because. I love them both but there is not much to talk abt they're just gay/pos.

Lasko and Lasko's Listener-

Not sure what I have in mind for Lasko but he's tiny and his listener is Large. Thats all I have in mind for either of them, so far their story doesn't have much so i don't have much for them.

Shaw pack now. All shaw pack bois are Dogfish shark shifter merfolk 😌 (say that 10 times fast)

Ash and Baaabe-

This ones hard cause they met when the elevator in their apartment broke down with them in it. And Baabe is unempowered so for this one imma say that at the shaw pack bois live on land but for jobs they go into the ocean and do their thing. That makes the thought that Ash would shift to get out of going to the door for pizza 10 times funnier. Guy would just see him laying on the floor behind the couch and He'd just be used to it at that point. It also makes it way easier for Guy to find out abt magic which i think is funny.

David and Angel-

This one would also be really close to the og way they met. If it weren't for pack meetings and the security jobs David probably wouldn't even tell Angel. (Sorry this one was so dull-)

Milo and Sweetheart-

Sweetheart is a octopus shifter (octopus can camoflauge and squeeze through tiny spaces, closest i could get to a stealth). Their meeting a such would also be very similar to the og story. Though I personally think that when they move, they move into ocean city to be closer to work n stuff.

Last but not least, the vamp bois. All of the vampires are some kind of squid shifters. I'm not gonna say vampire squids specifically bc those thing are tiny and I can't think of Sam as a tiny mf next to large ass shark darlin'. Also its a little bit cliche. Maybe squid shifters are the only ones who can turn humans/ressurect (kinda) merfolk. I wouldn't think that turning a merfolk would change them from being a shark to a squid or something. But when a human is turned they can shift to a squid only.

Also the places where they all meet is no longer a carnival its apart of the beach thats cut off for safety reasons. (Like in steven universe)

Sam and Darlin'-

With the whole Quinn thing, I wouldn't want too change much. Darlin' used to live in the land city but sold it after the Quinn stuff happened. They did go back to washington ofc but when they came back, they bought an apartment in the ocean city and lived there for a while. Then they met Sam at the beach and things were pretty similar from there. When they moved in with Sam they moved to a house hidden and out of the city but still close. Im not gonna talk abt what type of fish quinn is bc he doesnt deserve it (neither does kody but i had to make the joke abt him being a predator since that is literally what he is).

Vincent and Lovely-

Similar story to how Gavin and FL's was except Kody is replaced by Adam, Hux in that situation is replaced by Vincent and Lovely is an Eel merfolk instead of Freelancer merfolk. Pretty self explanitory- Vincent is a squid guy bc he was a human before obv.

Bonus: Caelum is lil anglefish merfolk ♥️♥️♥️

And uh- yea not much to talk about other than that. Happy mermay!!!

[desertfangs]

Do you really think Daniel didn't go mad?

I assume this is a question about this post, which I fired off last night. I stand by it, but the answer is no, I don't think he was really sane the whole time.

I do take Marius at his word that Daniel is enthralled in some form of madness. As I talked about before in a post I can't find, the first time I read that I was like wait, what? And I've reconciled that by deciding Daniel spiraled after learning that Armand had gone into the sun and thought he was dead, as I wrote about in this post. I have worked his madness into my personal fanon and I even wrote a big 8k depressing fic about Armand learning that Daniel was mad (a series I may continue!)

But I do think it's funny/frustrating/sad that in canon we get so very little about it because Daniel has long been my favorite character and to have him shunted aside and told he's mad and get so very little about the why, when, or how is just one of those Little Vampire Chronicles Things I guess.

Here's most of what we get from Marius, as he explains the situation to Throne in Blood & Gold after taking him into the room where Daniel is crafting his model worlds:

"This house is full of many rooms like this," said Marius in an even voice, his eyes looking at Thorne gently. "Look below. One can purchase thousands of little trees, and thousands of little houses." He pointed to stacks upon stacks of small containers on the floor beneath the table. "Daniel is very good at putting together the houses. See how intricate they are? This is all that Daniel does now." Thorne sensed a judgment in Marius's voice but it was soft, and the youngish blood drinker paid no attention. He had taken up another small tree, and was examining the thick green portion which made up its leafy upper limbs. To this he soon applied his little paintbrush. "Have you ever seen one of our kind under such a spell?" Marius asked. Thorne shook his head, No, he had not. But he understood how such a thing could happen. "It occurs sometimes," said Marius. "The blood drinker becomes enthralled. I remember centuries ago I heard the story of a blood drinker in a Southern land whose sole passion was for finding beautiful shells along the shore, and this she did all night long until near morning. She did hunt and she did drink, but it was only to return to the shells, and once she looked at each, she threw it aside and went on searching. No one could distract her from it. Daniel is enthralled in the same way. He makes these small cities. He doesn't want to do anything else. It's as if the small cities have caught him. You might say I look after him." .... Then a low genial laugh came from the youngish blood drinker. "Daniel will be this way for a while," said Marius, "and then his old faculties will come back to him." "The ideas you have, Marius," Daniel said with another little easy laugh. It was hardly more than a murmur. Daniel dipped the brush again into the paste that would make his little tree stick to the green grass, and he pressed the tree down with appropriate force.

And then in Prince Lestat we're told by Lestat that David found Marius in Brazil and Daniel is in good spirits and apparently leading David to Marius, but we don't learn if Lestat knew anything about Daniel's previous madness unless I missed it. He doesn't seem surprised Daniel is in good spirits, but maybe that is a reference to the fact that he previously was not?

Marius says of him:

It was Daniel who had languished for many a year—shocked, deranged, lost, unable to care for himself—in Marius’s care until only a couple of years ago when his sanity, ambition, and dreams had been restored to him.

And that's basically all we really get. Because it's addressed so poorly in canon, you can sort of argue that Marius' perception is all wrong, as he's the only one who even mentions it (as far as I recall!) We never get anything about it from Daniel himself (nor more of his POV ever! Shame!) or from Armand, to whom Daniel is obviously incredibly important.

In fact, Daniel pretty much vanishes by the end of this book, and we learn only he's going hunting with Armand and later that they're back together, but that's it. So it's never really addressed on a bigger level where we get any other sides of it or any other clues as to what happened or how Daniel felt. Which is why you can argue he wasn't insane at all and there's not a ton in the text to contradict you. And it is kind of funny to imagine that Daniel is just trying to do his own thing and Marius is telling everyone he's lost his marbles because he prefers to chill out and build model train sets or whatever.

The lack of detail is great for fanfic and headcanons though! You can definitely take this in a lot of different directions.

[cray-cray-anime]

David analysis - his parents and Cameron

It's already been implied how david sees Cameron as a father figure and in the truth serum episode said

"He's like the father I never had"

So there's some implications his actual dad is estranged or abandoned him.

So clearly latched onto the first validation by an adult Cameron. Which has made him look the other way on Cameron's shady businesses.

So perhaps even he was estranged to his mum. I mean he was so happy about just getting a badge. Maybe why his parents won't show up in the show.

While not sure how truly censored those stories are, david really did seem like he hated everything at camp as a kid like max. But unlike max, he was quick to get attached which shows how starved he really was for positive reinforcement. And Cameron easily manipulated david to continue to believe Cameron as a "positive role model".

Max is definitely neglected, however he's more jaded in that he avoids getting attached as he thinks he'll get screwed over it for it thus try to remain distant and disinterested.

Given both jasper and David's account, either the bear story was a true flashback (and david wasn't too "bad" a kid) or david is aware of Cameron doing shady things (killing the bears, almost kill him, was gonna leave david stranded), but chooses to ignore it to "try to see the positive things" in Cameron. Though I'm leaning on the former given I don't think david would know Cameron was gonna kill him ir strand him (though it be funny lil david swore like that).

If it's the latter, it could be some messed up implications of david being used to people like Cameron who does shitty things but doesn't seem so bad or could be overlooked with all the "good" things they do.

And yet in the end, david still wants him to be better person and willing to do so even if through questionable methods. I think even if a part of him hates or doesn't forgive Cameron, that another can't just let go.

Like it's understandable when we put a lot of effort, time and feelings for someone it's hard to just undo it all. Some part of david still latches onto Cameron to be good, to be like how he always thought of him as. To just have a chance for someone that hurt him actually feel sorry for what they did and try to change for the better. To get some positive relationship with the person he clearly held so dearly.

Especially when that person is a replacement of the parental relationship he never had before.

But I think what really messed up is jasper. We now know canon, jasper died in a mining accident yet how much does david and Cameron know?

Since it didn't take long from david leaving jasper and jasper dying, the explosion must've been heard. So what kept david going to Cameron and did Cameron even bother to find jasper or he did and tries to cover it. He did say

"Aw, we lost another one" -s2 finale

"Ye what did you-" s3 e7 when max talked about the kid that died

David could very well been too scared to go back or try to ignore the strange happening. But given how he acted in dial M for jasper, he likely repressing what happened and while he could've been trying to cover up to the kids jasper died, he mentions both "childhood version of your friend" and was ready to go to spooky island which could mean spooky island itself isn't triggering.

And whichever Cameron did, he most likely told david jasper left early and again david latches onto it because the other possibility of what happened is just too much for his child brain and the fact its still covered up shows that noone else knew and so noone could really help him.

And the fact jasper met david at summer camp meant david wouldn't have even really had a chance to contact jasper parents who would have to know their child missing.

[legobiwan]

Good Omens 2: Fastforward Rewatch

Thoughts (positive, negative, and general analysis) below the cut, this one is long and FULL OF SPOILERS.

You have been warned.

2:1

The opening was perfect. Loved the scene in Heaven, loved the mystery with Gabriel, and Shax's introduction.

Why was Crowley living in his car?

Hell is much less intimidating than in Season 1.

Why are the demons on half-rations? Is this just a general "Hell Sucks" thing? Or does this tie into the supposed manpower issues later on and if so, why is Hell having manpower issues?

Where is Hastur? I miss him (and Ligur, even though I know he's dead).

They definitely needed to make a bigger deal about the Book of Life and Aziraphale's possible erasure from existence. This kind of got glossed over at the end of the episode and therefore wasn't as much of an existential threat to both Aziraphale and Crowley as it should have been and felt. It mostly just seemed like an afterthought.

This was overall, the best episode of the season.

2:2

"I knew the angel you were." I don't love the fact Aziraphale remembers Crowley's angelic form. Like, I get how that could fit in with later events, Aziraphale just not wanting to be seen associating with the newly-donned Crowley. I can buy that they worked together as shown in the first episode. But when Crowley fell, I would like to believe his identity changed and Aziraphale would no longer be able to recognize him, leading us into the opening Eden scene from the first season.

Some of the visuals in the Job scenes were a little wonky.

Gods, I love when David Tennant gets menacing.

Heaven and its representatives didn't feel quite as threatening this time around, which really detracted from the tension around the whole hiding Gabriel issue.

Okay, so Crowley doesn't destroy the goats...this is fine (I guess). And yes, mostly in character for Crowley. But it also seemed to be pushing the "I'm really just good guy" Crowley line a little too hard? I mean, he is a demon. He got demonic moments in Season 1 (see below).

ON THE OTHER HAND, the scene with Aziraphale and the ox meat was a little disturbing, the way Aziraphale desperately pounded that stuff down after Crowley essentially tempted him into it. Apple analogies, anyone? The musical cues and Crowley's look just seemed to spell out that this was some kind of corruption, which was very cool.

The angels can't be that dumb with the restoration of Job's kids? Right? I mean, the theme of the first season was that a disconnected bureaucracy didn't keep tabs or care, not that their highest representatives would come down and be so easily boondoggled.

Oh my gods, Hamm's wig hahahahah.

Loved the scene where Aziraphale thinks he's going to hell.

2.3

There's an interesting conceit here with both Crowley and Aziraphale trying to manipulate humans into falling in love, which is kind of analogous to the situation with their respective deities trying to manipulate humans for their own causes (like Job, for instance).

LOVED LOVED LOVED David Tennant getting to rip with the thick Scottish accent.

Aziraphale saying people get a choice in Edinburgh while not giving Nina and Maggie a choice is an interesting contradiction.

I just need to note that Aziraphale was listening to Danse Macabre in the Bentley (a piece which, appropriately for this setting, begins with a series of tritones in the solo violin, aka the "Devil's Interval." Take from that what you will).

The Edinburgh scenes were very effective, overall, but a) Aziraphale's diary is mentioned, like, 1.2 times and never brought up again b) probably needed some cutting just to make it tighter and c) Aziraphale seemed a little too naive in this sequence?

Also, Crowley having a Scott Lang set of moments was funny but also...a choice.

This all being said, the Edinburgh sequence ending in the manner it did (Crowley abruptly getting dragged back to Headquarters) leads you to believe Crowley got the shit tortured out of him in hell after that whole stunt.

2.4

Conversation between Shax and Aziraphale in the car was perfect.

But again, the whole risk of Aziraphale's destruction due to his hiding Gabriel was still wildly underdeveloped and didn't feel real or threateningly imminent.

Unpopular opinion. The whole set of post-bomb magic scenes weren't entirely necessary.

I suppose if Crowley had missed with his shot, Aziraphale would have to explain his discorporation to Heaven which could get tricky if they started to ask more questions about how that came to be. But it wasn't going to kill Aziraphale. Would have been messy, though.

This being said, the magic stuff was very entertaining and fleshed out more of the Aziraphale-Crowley relationship, and I loved the whole photo-blackmail angle and felt that maybe it was resolved a little too quickly?

Nazi zombies? I mean, okay. I personally felt it would have been better to leave them buried in the ruins of the church and be done with them.

Sometimes too much information detracts from the original material. The first 1941 scene we got in Season 1 was perfect. I almost prefer we would have left that as is and done the magic bit in another era.

2.5

The whole 10,000 (700) demon march on the bookshop was just kind of...weird? Like, I get Beezlebub authorizing it to find Gabriel but then they attack the bookshop and it all got a little muddled.

The demon designs/makeup/costumes were so much better in Season 1, as was the hell set.

Gathering the shopkeepers for the meeting felt like filler material.

The Crowley/Gabriel scene was A+, especially when Crowley ordered Gabriel to jump out the window.

Crowley keeps telling people he's not nice but always acting nice. How much leeway does he get as a demon?

IT WAS WEIRD AND KINDA CREEPY that Aziraphale pulled a Wanda Maximoff and semi-mind controlled everyone into his little utopian Jane Austen fantasy.

"Surrender the Angle" hahahhahahahaahhaha

The demon attack sequence was not my favorite.

2.6

Crowley's Heavenly costume change was awesome.

I'm sorry but I can't deal with the Beezlebub/Gabriel pairing, it's just so RANDOM to me.

And this relates to the way I think one of the larger issues with this season is that the plot hinges on Gabriel just...suddenly not being a massive dick anymore and all that development happening offscreen. I mean, mazel tov to ineffable bureaucracy shippers and all (and I do like the notion of this season being smaller in scope and not depending on yet another end-of-world situation) but it just felt so...undeserved?

Also, the line, "Beezlebub is my Heaven" is just...*shivers* Come on, guys.

Very glad Nina and Maggie didn't end up magically together. I also felt their "heart-to-heart" with Crowley was extremely forced and very fanfiction-y.

The Metatron manipulation here was Class A. He obviously despises Crowley and was playing Aziraphale like a damn lyre.

I dearly dearly hope all the "spiked coffee theories" are false, because it would take away from all the fantastic character development and regression moments that center around Aziraphale's decision. It makes sense, what Aziraphale did. But Metatron is out here playing 5d chess while everyone else is playing checkers.

Tempting Aziraphale with redeeming crowley to angel status? So Aziraphale can "fix" him and stand him up as another toy character just like he did with his Austen reenactment? oh boi. Yeah, I'd be pissed if I were Crowley. Forget the trauma of his fall and not wanting to go back to Heaven (which kind of got sidelined this season), but the fact that your best friend and possible romantic interest of several-thousand years is basically saying "you're not enough as you are" by implying Crowley would be "better" as an angel (although i know that's not necessarily Aziraphale's intention)? That's a yikes.

David Tennant is so, so good at being nervous and heartbroken here. Great speech.

"Nothing lasts forever, Crowley." OUCH.

So, I may get flamed for this, but I feel like the kiss may have been a little forced. I get the romance angle, and I think that was well-deserved at this point, but I'm not sure how I feel about Crowley just going in for the kill there like that. Unpopular opinion, I realize, but between that and the stereotypical rising string soundtrack, it was a little much.

Final Overall Thoughts

This season felt like it had maybe 3ish episodes of material that got stretched into 6.

Hell was nowhere near as frightening/gross/built out as it was in Season 1. And the costuming/makeup was much more drab in comparison to the first Season.

Crowley, I hate to say, got a little "woobified" in this Season. Remember, in Season 1 he delivers the Antichrist, does actual demonic work, causes a bunch of paintball players to think they're shooting real guns for a solid twenty minutes, and literally annihilates another demon with holy water. I realize escaping Hell may have softened him a bit, but I missed some of his more present edge from Season 1.

Along these lines, Aziraphale also felt more naive than he was in Season 1. He's persnickety and idealistic, but not necessarily wide-eyed.

Maggie and Nina had great chemistry. I kind of wish they had leaned into the whole "Crowley and Aziraphale manipulation of their lives" angle a little more, as it's a great thematic parallel with the duo's complaints about the agents of Heaven and Hell.

The angels and demons conveniently became much less competent for plot purposes. Kind of lowers the stakes when your opponents can't seem to plan all that well? Saraqael was the only one who seemed like they had their shit together this time around.

Also, the infighting as to the vacant Archangel position really could have been expanded upon, as that would have been a very interesting plot thread to follow, especially as it relates to Shax and Furfur's little administrative battle downstairs (which would bring back the theme of bureaucratic nonsense from Season 1).

Also, Shax went from a legitimate, compelling threat and character to kind of petering out by Episode 6. That was disappointing. her early scenes were fantastic and I get the feeling they didn't know quite know what to do with her character.

This all being said, there were a lot of great character moments and themes and the payoff with Aziraphale's decision to go back to Heaven was perfect. I'm very curious where this goes in Season 3, if we get a Season 3 (I'm assuming it will end in South Downs, but how we get there will be another...ah ha ha...story).

Overall, I'd give this season a 6.5/10 or 7/10.