#if it were a standalone my thoughts would be v different but i watched it as an adaptation

[starlitsequins]

i think i wouldve liked the nimona movie more if ballister and goldenloin, the 2014 blueprint of repressed old gay men who hate their jobs, werent changed to the point of being unrecognizable </3

[ayyy-pee]

𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕀𝕥 𝕊𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜

Discord 18+ - Twitter

Pairing: Tomioka Giyuu x Female Reader

Summary: Will he survive this war? 

Will you be alright without him? 

Will you be lonely if he never returns?

And arguably, the most important question – will his line end with him?

The clock is ticking and who knows if he will ever make it back to you.

He’d never given much thought to children, but Giyuu had also never given much thought to marriage before he’d met you.

or

Giyuu and reader get to work on making a baby.

Story Warning: BREEDING KINK GIYUU, LACTATION KINK GIYUU, Smut, Giyu and reader are secretly married, P in V sex, Profanity like yall should know, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Giyuu is a munch, Unprotected Sex, Multiple Creampies, Mating Press, Freaky ass Giyuu fr

Art by: michi_ia (Twitter)

A/N: This was a request from one of my amazing readers! This one shot takes place in the same universe as Hidden Affairs (Sanemi x Reader fic!) They can both be read as standalones as they involve different readers! Hope you enjoy!

It’s eerily quiet tonight. Just as it’s been for the past several weeks. A storm is brewing, slowly but surely. Giyuu feels it, they all feel it. It’s like a simmer just under the surface, waiting to boil over at any moment. That’s why all of them were called to Ubuyashiki mansion. The plan has been set in motion and Giyuu knows what his role now is.

But will he make it back alive?

That’s the question that plagues his mind at this very second as he approaches his home. He can see the dim candle lighting illuminating the space through the windows and he knows he won’t be alone once he’s inside. No, he’ll be able to see you. And it’s all he’s been looking forward to since he stepped foot on the mansion grounds.

“I’m home,” Giyuu murmurs as he slips out of his haori. He lays it carefully on the table beside the front door.

“Welcome back, my love,” your voice floats through the air like a song, calling him to you. You’re in the bedroom and when Giyuu enters, he sees you’re already snuggled into the futon on the tatami, clearly ready for bed. “How was the meeting?”

Giyuu sighs, crossing the space and falling to his knees at your bedside. He leans forward and kisses you softly, reveling in the way that you, as always, can melt away his worries with just your skin on his. “It’s…” He debates on telling you the truth. That it’s not looking good. That he and the other Hashira, the Master, are all in imminent danger and that it’s likely to come soon. But as he watches you, so sweet and caring, he knows he can’t lie to you. “I’ll have to leave…to be close. He will come soon.”

He, being Muzan. Though Giyuu doesn’t dare speak his name in his home.

“I see…”

You recover quickly, but Giyuu has already seen it. The sadness and concern that flashes across your features. He feels guilty that he’s the cause.

“And the others?” You question, trying to change the subject. You know Giyuu hates talking about matters like this with you. You dislike it as well. Because he can’t be as honest as he wants to be with you. It’s for your safety and honestly to protect your sanity. It’s enough that you’re fully aware of the position he holds as a Hashira, and yet you insist on staying with him. Not that he could ever let you go. Even though he knows it’s selfish for him to have you, he would rather be a selfish man than be without you.

“Same old, same old. Still a little strange without Uzui, but we are managing.” Giyuu kisses you again before standing. Just as you do every night, you’ve got a bath waiting for him, and he’d like to get in and soak so that he can get back to you before sleep takes you for the night.

“That’s good. Everyone is well?”

“Yes.” He purses his lips as he fiddles with the rest of his garments, debating on whether or not to tell you this. But he thinks you may find this amusing. “Shinazugawa looked as though he was seconds away from ripping my head from my shoulders before the Master appeared.”

He hears your soft giggles behind him. “Were you sitting too close to his lady again?” You tease.

Giyuu shrugs, though you can hardly see the movement. “For Hashira, they are very bad at concealing their secrets. They smell of sex every time they arrive.”

“Yes, but it’s very cute to see. I’m happy she continues to keep our secret even though she has no idea we know hers.”

Ah, yes. Shinazugawa believes Giyuu is interested in his beloved, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. See, what the other Hashira (aside from Shinazugawa’s love) doesn’t know is that Giyuu is married - happily, at that. His colleague only found this out after running into you in town, carelessly dressed in Giyuu’s haori as yours were in the wash. And when she confronted you about the very familiar garb you were wearing, you just “felt that you could trust her with their secret”. It’s worked out for you both so far. It’s made you and Giyuu’s fellow Hashira closer, and Giyuu is simply glad you have a friend who you can confide in. He doesn’t even mind playing the messenger between you two, typically passing along stories and jokes from you to his associate when you’re all called together for a Hashira meeting. 

But it’s also placed a large target on his back, a certain white haired psychopath surely waiting for the right moment to shove his blade down Giyuu’s throat.

“He believes I have feelings for her, you know? Almost blurted out their secret in a jealous rage in front of us all.”

“What?!” You gasp, scandalized. “You’re kidding.”

“No. He hates me because of it. It’s quite obvious.”

You hum, mind going a million miles a minute as you mull over this information. “Maybe it’s due to you being so unapproachable and distant. You don’t spend much time with the other Hashira. Perhaps it makes you unlikable.”

Giyuu winces, your words touching a sore spot because this isn’t the first time he’s been told he’s not liked among the Hashira. Kocho once said something similar.

“I’m not unlikable…” he grumbles, lips curling at the corners when he hears your laughter again. You tease him too much. “I’m going to take a bath. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

++++++++++

“Shall we try for a child?”

The question leaves Giyuu’s lips before he can talk himself out of it. He debated on saving this question for the morning as he joined you beneath the blankets, but his bath left him to sit in silence with nothing but his thoughts.

Will he survive this war? 

Will you be alright without him? 

Will you be lonely if he never returns?

And arguably, the most important question – will his line end with him?

The clock is ticking and who knows if he will ever make it back to you.

He’d never given much thought to children, but Giyuu had also never given much thought to marriage before he’d met you.

The prospect of a child never appealed to Giyuu before, but the closer he gets to this inevitable battle, the more it’s on his mind. If anything were to happen to him, he would not want you to be alone. He would want to leave you with something of his, something that you’ll be able to look at and be reminded of him if worse comes to worse.

“What brings this on?” You ask, more quiet than normal. “I mean you…you’ve never discussed children before.” You roll onto your side, propping your head up on your elbow. The moon casts almost an ethereal glow over you, your beauty clear even in the dim lighting of your bedroom.

He shrugs. “I suppose I’ve never thought about it.” His blue eyes gaze into yours. There’s something there, something behind your eyes that you’re not saying. If it were a no, you would say so. You’ve never been one to mince words. If it were a yes…well, you’d say that as well.

“Is this truly what you want?”

“Yes.” He sits up, pulling you into his lap. His fingers play with the strings that hold your top together, gently tugging. It loosens, exposing your collarbone to him and he can’t resist placing a gentle kiss there. “Wouldn’t you enjoy it?” His lips ghost your skin lightly, and the sigh that rushes past your lips is music to his ears. “Caring for this small person, a perfect mixture of you and I?”

You place your hands on his shoulders, head tilting to the side to make room for Giyuu as his lips explore your neck, your throat, the swell of your breasts. “Yes,” you whisper. The sleeves of your top slip from your shoulders, a new part of you exposed for Giyuu to now claim, and you let him. You let Giyuu do whatever he wants with you when it comes to this. You’re always so pliable as soon as his arms wrap around you.

“I want it,” you breathe, hands pulling Giyuu from your shoulder and cupping his face. You press a soft kiss to his mouth. “Let's have a child.”

Wide eyes beam at you in the moonlight, a look of appreciation swimming in them. How did Giyuu get so lucky to have a wife like you? His hands guide your top down, revealing your smooth skin to the night air. His lips caress your breasts, breaths ghosting over your slowly hardening nipples. He takes one into his mouth, groaning at how the soft flesh fills his mouth. Your body is beautiful — a face that would bring a god to their knees, curves in all the places Giyuu appreciates, a form that molds perfectly to his, made for him and only him.  

Giyuu lets his mind wander while his mouth presses sweet kisses to your chest. What will you be like when you’re pregnant? Will you crave for certain foods? He’s heard that that is common. What will you look like when you’re months into your pregnancy? Will Giyuu be there to witness your belly grow round with his child?

Something clicks in Giyuu’s mind at that moment. And while he’s not usually rough with you, he can’t seem to control himself when a guttural moan bubbles from deep within his chest and he wraps an arm around you, flipping you both over. He settles his hips between your legs, rolling his hips against your core, reveling when your back arches off the futon as you moan. And Giyuu dips down, capturing your mouth with his and swallowing each and every sound you make.

It’s all dry humping and moans, whispered “I love you’s” and peeling each other’s clothes off until you both lay bare. Giyuu listens to the way your breath hitches as he kisses his way down your body. His lips brush over all of your sensitive spots on the way down, only stopping when they reach the most sensitive. Your chest heaves with heavy breaths as Giyuu peers up from between your legs. This is one of his favorite views, particularly at night when the soft glow of the moon illuminates your body in such a way that he can’t help but be painfully erect.

Giyuu is a man of very few words. Everyone knows this. Even with you, he is not particularly talkative, but as Giyuu takes in the sight of you, legs spread wide and the puffy lips of your pussy coated with your arousal shimmering in the moonlight, he must let it be known. “You are so beautiful”. He licks his lips, groaning because he is eager to have you, eager to taste you, feel you, breed you.

“Wider, my love,” Giyuu commands, and you do as you're told, spreading your legs to further expose your aching cunt to him. “Perfect,” he whispers, hands coming up to caress the inside of your thighs where he plants tender kisses along the plush flesh. He leans forward, burying his nose into your core and inhaling deeply.

And this may seem odd to those whose jobs don’t revolve around breathing, but there’s something about your scent that has changed. Giyuu can’t place his finger on it. Maybe your scent smells sweeter? Or perhaps your scent is simply more intoxicating because Giyuu has reached a level of arousal that is new to him. But there is without a doubt something different.

He decides not to dwell on it any longer when a desperate and hushed “please” reaches his ears. He realizes then that your thighs are shaking, eager for him to proceed. So he presses a soft kiss to your glossy lips. You gasp quietly, back arching immediately and Giyuu takes that moment to lick a fat strip through your folds.

The groan he lets out is deep, animalistic almost. It vibrates through your core and the sensation makes you reach down, weaving your fingers through Giyuu’s dark tresses to grab hold.

“O-oh, Giyuu…” You gasp as he presses his tongue to your clit, his eyes roll back when he feels the slick pour from your core and straight into his mouth. He laps it up eagerly.

“You taste divine,” he groans into you and you moan in response, hips rolling up to grind your cunt against Giyuu’s mouth, begging for more. And Giyuu obliges, lips sealing around your clit and sucking, licking, nipping at your swollen bud until you’re practically fucking yourself on his tongue.

“Giyuuuuu,” you keen, back lifting off the futon again. You moan loudly, fingers clutching Giyuu’s hair and pulling him further into your pussy. “Right there–” you pant. “Right there! Please don’t stop–”

Giyuu grunts, wincing because his cock is throbbing painfully against his abdomen. He can feel the moisture beneath him, his tip leaking with his arousal. Surely this will stain the fabrics, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. He brings a hand to your pussy, pressing his thumb to your clit and rubbing tight circles. You’re thrashing, moaning his name over and over, damn near about to pull his hair out when Giyuu plunges his tongue into your clenching hole, and he has to will himself not to cum when you cry out and your soft walls clamp down on his tongue immediately. Your hips come up to meet his mouth, grinding your soaking cunt against Giyuu’s face. And he loves it.

Giyuu loves the taste of you. He’s not much of a drinker, he’ll admit. Never much cared for the taste of liquor and has never experienced being drunk in his life, but he imagines it feels similar to the way his head is swimming just off the taste of you.

By now, the futon is sticky with his precum, and it doesn’t help that Giyuu has now been mindlessly rutting against the fabric to find some sort of friction. He longs to make you cum on his tongue, but he also longs to bury himself inside you. But you make the decision for him, tugging his hair until Giyuu finally pulls his mouth away from your center. He crawls along your body, the echoing sound of his length separating from the stickiness of the bed filling the room.

He’s face to face with you, his lips and chin glistening with your wetness and it takes him by surprise when you run your tongue from the tip of his chin, all the way to his mouth where you press your lips to his in a passionate kiss. He groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head when you murmur against his lips, “how do you plan on putting a baby in me if you don’t fuck me?”

Giyuu thinks that if Muzan doesn’t end up being the death of him, you will be. He puts a hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer and whispering, “Forgive me, my love. I got carried away.” He slips his free hand between your bodies, a fiery heat blooming in his cheeks when he feels the way his cock is dripping onto your cunt. This is it. There will be no going back once he goes forward with this.

“When I’m done, you’ll be with child,” he says, seriously, as though it’s a fact. Because in his mind, it is. Giyuu grips his length, stroking himself slowly, rubbing his tip against your clit as he lets his mind wander briefly, and lets your moans fuel his runaway thoughts. 

His head is consumed with the image of your breasts, swollen and dripping with milk and he has to halt his strokes to stave off the sudden urge to blow his load. He’s a little surprised, actually. Giyuu has seen and rescued his fair share of pregnant women, and didn’t think twice about it. Forgot about them the moment they weren’t in his direct line of sight. But you…you who consumes his every waking thought…the idea of you with leaking nipples, allowing Giyuu to taste the delicious nectar that your body has produced? It’s a thought so arousing, he has to tuck it away mentally, save it for when he’s alone on his missions so that in the late hours of the night, when he’s wrapping his hand around his cock, the image is still fresh.

He’s not sure when he slipped inside of you, let alone flipped you both over again so that he’s now on his back while you ride him. You take him all the way to the tip, moaning loudly every time you sink onto him. The intense waves of pleasure bring time to a standstill. Your nails are sunken deep into Giyuu’s abdomen, steadying yourself as Giyuu’s hips thrust into you at a bruising pace. On a typical night, Giyuu wouldn’t be so rough with you, so greedy with you. But tonight, while his mind is focused on a single goal – ensuring he leaves you with his offspring growing inside your womb – he feels like a crazed man.

Your cries grow louder, more high pitched and your movements stutter momentarily. When you cry out that you’re going to cum, riding him faster and faster, walls fluttering around him, breasts bouncing beautifully, Giyuu’s mind is back on his prior thoughts – dripping, swollen and full…

And then Giyuu is crying out with you, gritting his teeth as he fucks up into you, emptying his balls to the point that he’s lightheaded. His vision blurs as he keeps pumping into you. He hears the squelching, feels the splashing of his seed dripping from you and onto his abdomen, and Giyuu pulls you down to take his entire length again and again until he finally comes to a halt. His hands grip your hips tight, eyes honed in on where you sit flat against him as your sweet pussy cradles his cock.

“Don’t move,” he growls, surprising himself with the gravelly sound that just left his lips. And you nod, whimpering above him. Within your walls, Giyuu can feel his length still pulsing, spurting pathetic, weak strings of his seed. This orgasm has his chest heaving, hands shaking. He grits his teeth, using his hands to rock your hips back and forth.

“You’re going to be an incredible mother,” he coos, finally releasing his hold on you. His fingers ghost along your skin, from your chest, over your nipples, down to your abdomen where he places his hands flat against your stomach. He focuses on fucking you deeply, burying his cock as far as he can, pushing his seed as deep as possible. “Our child will be so lucky.”

“Yes, my love,” you breathe, eyes closed while you continue to take all of him so well. “And you’ll be an amazing father.”

Your words turn him on, more than he’s ever been. He rolls you both over once more and when you’re on your back, Giyuu takes a moment to pull out and admire his work. His eyes are locked on your core, dripping with evidence of him, pulsing and hungry for more. And he’s still so hard. He wants to give you more, needs to give you more. So Giyuu slips back into your pussy easily, the lubrication from the mixture of both your releases making you both shudder.

He’s so fucking sensitive, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when your greedy cunt is still squeezing down on him, trying to milk him for all he’s worth. He hooks your legs over his shoulders, pushing forward until a knee rests on either side of your head. And Giyuu thinks he may black out, because he doesn’t know that he’s ever been this deep inside of you before. He can feel his seed spilling from you, slipping down to your ass where his balls are pressed so hard, it keeps the thick liquid from flowing any further. 

“One more…” he grits out, brows knitted together in determination. “Need to make sure it sticks.” Then he’s fucking you again, one palm resting on the back of each thigh, balls smacking loudly against your ass with every rough thrust.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” You gasp, fingers gripping the bed sheets tightly, and Giyuu whimpers in response. Your pussy is tightening around him, a vice grip already greedily trying to pull whatever he has left to offer from him.

“I want your baby,” you murmur into Giyuu’s ear and he groans, voice rough with desire. His thrusts pick up speed, searching for more pleasure.

“Do you?” He moans against your shoulder when he feels himself hit a particularly soft spot within your walls. “I’ll give you one. I swear I will –”

“Yes!” You practically scream. “Right there, Giyuu–”

“Fuck –” His eyes are closed, mouth slack as he pumps wildly into you. You’re so wet, so tight, so soft and as much as he wants to keep fucking you like this, he’s about to cum embarrassingly fast for the second time tonight. He can feel his balls get a little tighter with each sticky thrust. “Shall I b– ah…shall I breed you once more? Fill you up…ngh…until you’re dripping with my seed again?”

“Please–”

You hardly have to finish your words, because Giyuu is grunting loudly, bottoming out just as he spills himself into you, giving you every drop he has to offer. “Stay still,” he tells you, still thrusting into you, even though he can go no further. He pulls back once more, then sinks balls deep inside of you, breathing heavily as he empties himself. “Need you to take it all, my love.”

“I will,” you pant, his perfect little wife.

You stay like this for some time, Giyuu plugging your pussy until his cock softens inside you. Then he pulls out slowly when he has no other choice. You sigh in relief when you’re able to finally put your legs down as Giyuu lies beside you. He scoops you into his arms, kissing you all over your face, silent apologies for being so aggressive with you. You’re both catching your breath while Giyuu softly runs his hand up and down your spine.

“I wonder if we’ll be successful.” Giyuu mutters when the silence is too much and his thoughts become so unbearable he has to share them with you.

You wiggle out of his hold, sitting up to look down at him. You’re smiling, a cute and goofy smile that Giyuu only sees when you’re up to something. Or when you have a secret that you’re finding impossible to keep from him. So Giyuu sits up as well, brow raised in curiosity.

“What is it?” He asks suspiciously. His eyes narrow when your smile widens.

“It was successful…” You take Giyuu’s hand and press it to your stomach. “about two months ago.”

Giyuu is confused. His eyes are stuck to where you have his hand. Two months ago? Successful?

You can see the confusion clear as day, even in the darkness. “My love,” Your hand cups his cheek and like instinct, Giyuu leans into the touch. He still hasn’t torn his gaze from your joined hands. “Giyuu…look at me.”

And he does, back rigid as he stares at you with wide eyes. The cogs are turning, finally. He thinks he may have figured it out. But there’s a teasing smirk sitting on your lips, and Giyuu doesn’t know if he should believe you or not.

“A-” He swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “Are you…?”

You pull Giyuu towards you to place a sweet kiss to his lips.

“I’ve been with child for some time. I just wanted to wait to be certain. I planned on surprising you today, but your meeting ran so late and…” Your hand covers your mouth, hiding the small giggles threatening to bubble up from your chest. “Well, it’s just so cute when you get all serious and focused like that.”

You fall back onto the bed, your pretty laughter filling the room, and Giyuu can’t help it. He laughs, too. Your laughter is so infectious he can’t resist.

It’s a strange mixture of elation, fear, maybe relief. He’d accomplished his goal before he even knew it. But with him leaving to go to the mansion tomorrow, knowing what is planned, he’s now got a new sense of dread seeping into his bones.

But it also gives him a new sense of purpose, outside of returning to you. 

Giyuu must defeat Muzan. 

Giyuu must survive. 

Giyuu must get back to his wife, to his child, to his family.

No matter what.

[rise-my-angel]

Gentle Vulnerability

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 17.1k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, implied past non descript sexual assault, portrayal of non specific trauma/ptsd symptoms, smut, oral (m and f recieving), p in v, sex is consensual but there are small moments of non descriptive trauma anxiety, flashbacks

Notes: This is a bit of a personal chapter, since its very much taken inspiration from my own traumas and does explore non specific long term effects of sexual assault but nothing is ever shown or described and the only smut is consenting and with Joel. This is a continuation of Trembling Havoc from my Confused Warmth series. But can also be read as a standalone.

It was possible being as quiet as you were wasn’t always a positive. Commonly, you would slink in and out of somewhere without being spotted and typically it was a skill used mostly in protection. You spent much time by yourself and the dangers around you rested easy thinking you were never there. It certainly helped when you needed to get into a building where your presence could inevitably lead to a confrontation. Move very little and say even less, that’s how you navigate a strategy of stealth.

That focus on staying quiet did though, sometimes take away your awareness of other approaching sounds. As you crouched down, one hand raised above steadying you on the hard surface, you had been so silent that you completely missed the sounds of steps and creaking floorboards until the figure was looming over the counter.

Your head snapped up, lucky that your hand only got as far as a tiny jilt before it registered the figure above you was just one mischievously smirking Ellie. Your eyes spoke disapproving but the rest of your face played a different tune. “You making it a habit? Sneaking up on people out here? Thought you were keeping watch for infected.”

Hand relaxing, you continued to rifle through the mostly useless array of junk on the lower shelves in front of you. “I thought you said that was your job.” This time your face fell much more flat as you glanced back to to her briefly.

The three of you had been into another building already, but it was picked over fairly decently of anything of use. Both times you had silently snuck in first to lure any out that may be hiding in the corners, though the first time Ellie clearly hadn’t expected you to kick over a large metal trashcan far onto the floor to do so. If the loud clang of metal didn’t grab anythings attention, then Ellie’s voice certainly would. “That’s your big secret? Just knocking things over?”

You had just smirked as you flashed your light around the main area. “I said it worked, not that it was clever.”

“So what do you do if you knock it over and there actually infected?”

Joel answered that one for you, “You get out of there and move on.” You just tilted your head in agreement, as both you and Joel quickly came to the conclusion of nothing being there as they spoke behind you. “Avoiding them’s better then risking a fight.”

The one you’re in now fared a tad better. Most surrounding towns were void of people typically in fear of infected, but that also meant they were less likely to be spread around all over. As long as you keep to the empty streets and quiet buildings, most of them were fine you found. The longer they went without people, the more likely they were to gather in groups and lay in waiting. Especially in cold like this.

Now you were crouched down looking at something Ellie had hidden from you. “Not much left with pharmacy stuff, I assume?” Your voice muttered as you glanced over the counter to see where Joel was looking. He himself was knelt down with his bag, clearly having more luck.

Ellie waggled her eyebrows to herself like debating her antics before drawling out her tone. “Well, there was one thing.” Tossing it finally at you, whatever was inside knocked around against the packaging. A flip of the box in your hands it took you a moment to register what you were looking at.

Only to deflate completely both at what you were looking at and her laughter. A very dust covered thin box painted in a light pastel that had faded over time. The words and image though bright enough to highlight that you were holding a pregnancy test kit.

Your face unamused to her opposite, you raised an eyebrow. Shrugging in an exaggerated manner she leaned back, now her hands holding onto the counters edge. “Just seems like something that might come in handy, you know always expect the unexpec-”

Interrupting her own voice with a mild yelp as you tossed it back, bonking it off of her unsuspecting forehead. Never one to give up before the joke is done though, Ellie held her hands up in the air one with the box purposely facing you. “I thought we were always supposed to be prepared?”

Your hand on your waist you narrowed your eyes, mouthing a clear “Put it back” before watching her retreat. Glancing over at Joel, he looked from his own amused gaze at Ellie and bounced to you in question. Only getting a head shake and a slight smirking eye roll as his response.

Both of them ended up meeting you around the middle, Ellie in the middle of putting her gloves back on. “Come on, it’s boring out there. Gotta make your own fun.”

Joel playfully nudged her towards the door, as you took up the rear. You all could have been back at this point, but he had suggested the detour just to see if there was anything bringing back. Part of you agreed with him, but also had you wondering if just perhaps he wanted to spend time just the three of you before rejoining the crowds of the community you now called home.

Was it for him, or for you? This sensation of closeness was new to all three of you, but it also dug at you and Joel in different ways. He had more time to get used to this, and a surrounding of people that helped him adjust faster. You, not so much.

Someone, whom instead of slowly heating to a boil, blazed out of control in a wildfire that yanked you into the arms of support.. Going back to Jackson meant being able to live that new support unobstructed.

Your hands trying to dig into your palms, but softened by the cushioning gloves around your nails leaving you only with one other cope. Free falling into the unknown. Your eyes glanced up to Joel’s tall figure from where you walked behind him, and Ellie’s lively smaller one. Their voices mumbling, but accustomed to the other.

There wasn’t anything pulling you away from finding a life with them now. Bonded for life as if some other worldly force brought your traumas together to heal. The secrets were out, the ones that mattered at least and now all was left was for them to know you as you are.

Strangely enough, it felt just as daunting as those first few days.

You had been given a few nice options, cozy houses close to everyone else with lots of room. The first one you paced around the echoing rooms being reassured the kind of amenities these places had set up. The only comment you made being, “Lot of space for just me.”

The second one didn’t even get the chance to be peeked into. Sounds of laughter and loud chatter wized by, your attention turned to watch the main street crowded with people and little quiet that had something inside make your heart beat a little more noticeable.

It was Maria who suggested the one you ended up in. You didn’t really notice at the time, but it was clear she had been spending some time trying to figure you out, and the hour or so you’d been there had said at least something trustworthy. Tommy initially protesting, mostly because the house was small and needed size able work to make it halfway decent, but it was away from the street and one or two house lengths from the nearest neighbour. “If it has plumbing and a front door then it’s perfect.”

You didn’t venture out the rest of that first day. They seemed decent people here but there were too many of them, at least for now. It was early morning when you ventured outside. The sky still clouded in grey with more threats of rain, and the air still cool enough to chill your lungs, but it gave you time to map out where everything was.

Many seemed apprehensive about you, but looking back on it it wasn’t like you were all that approachable. A quiet, skittish demeanour that hardly spoke a word and looked unsure to the point of distrust at your surroundings. Not exactly like the open and welcoming community here. Quiet and on edge with enough lack of sleep, you could see it. It wasn’t until you had been walking into what appeared to be a dining hall did someone broach the conversation barrier.

Your elbows had been leaning against a high counter. Back close to the wall, looking at a scene that felt nothing like the only kind you’d known for twenty years. Was this a safe life they had always been used to, or were you just particularly bad at adapting to it? There was very little of interest in your house yet save for what you brought. But you had no clue what the etiquette was around food in this place and you were still way too exhausted to even consider going outside to fend for yourself.

Now that you here in here though, the idea of asking made your heart race just a little too much.

A voice spoke up at that moment, your eyes squinting at the room too distracted to notice anyone noticed you. “You know people usually come here to eat, right?” Turning your head from side to side until a shorter figure sat at a table on her own. A kid, maybe around thirteen if you had to guess, with sharp watchful eyes and a playful glint behind it. “Just ask, they’re not going to make you wait until you starve to give you anything. As far as I know.”

It was possible you just had been alone for too long, but there was a smartass behind the girl’s goofy little smile and it almost pulled a smirk out.. Your head nodded at the empty space in front of her with an eyebrow raised. Her own tilting in more amusement, “I’m waiting for someone.” You didn’t question it but she backtracked as if trying to recondition herself. “It’s good manners to wait until everyone’s at the table with their food before you start eating.”

A real smirk fell over your mouth, that was definitely something she either rehearsed or spent far too many occasions being told it. “How do you know I’m not doing the same?”

“Because you just got here and don’t know anyone.” You raised an eyebrow once more as her expression fell flat of it’s clever one up. “I live across the street from Maria, she mentioned you were new. Something about getting a few things since you didn’t arrive with much.”

Nodding was your only response. Growing slightly uncomfortable knowing she was waiting for someone or someones, you didn’t think you wanted to stick around and get roped into meeting more new people. But something about her blunt curiosity was endearing. So you shrugged, letting an exhale out watching for approaching people foolishly as if an ambush was immanent. “Travel by yourself long enough, you figure out how to get on just fine on the bare minimum.”

Unlike the apprehensive interest from the couple yesterday at how long you’d been by yourself, the kid’s head nodded with eyes of understanding you could recognize. “I get it, first time I was here we spent like three months in the woods in the middle of winter. Felt like a space alien seeing how much shit they have.”

Someone not you would have asked where she was from, who she was with but your face just scrunched in an understanding before pushing up so your palms rested on the wood. Your nails tapped at it, their far too long length making satisfying pings against it. Mouth opening and closing to ask her name but letting it go, at least she didn’t share the same silence. “I’m Ellie.”

Turning your neck to look at her, you still found no curious judgment everyone else had. So you gave her yours back, a normal smile washing over. “You want to sit down? Food in here’s really fucking good.”

Head dropped again, pushing off as you tried to look apologetic through your uncomfortable insides growing. “No, it’s okay. You’re waiting on someone.”

Ellie tried protesting, “No it’s fine, he won’t care.” Pausing for a moment before an amused half smile returned, “Or, well maybe he will but it’s not personal he’s like that with everyone.”

Forcing a polite smile, you knelt down to pull your back over a shoulder. “Thanks, but I uh,” glancing back at the room, “I just don’t really do crowds.”

Before you could turn away she fully she called your name, “Am I going to see you around?”

At the time you didn’t really get why Ellie liked you from the start, but you just nodded. Watching her long enough to return it, satisfied with your answer before you walked out completely. The growing noise of talking rung in your ears as the openness of the street called to settle your nerves.

Completely missing that you almost walked into someone in your need to get out, and definitely not realizing the curious glance they gave you. It wasn’t right away, but Joel sure found out soon enough that Ellie discovered a whole new thing to bombard him about. Not expecting it to be the new person he accidentally barged in on. Frown on his face as he recalled that you looked at him as if flinching back from a fight. A look that sat oddly in his stomach even moreso at your hasty retreat of the building.

To be transparent, you’re still not quite sure now why she took a liking to you. By the time you all had gotten back, you felt that strangeness once again. Reaching the main part of town, you quietly mumbled something about unloading some of your stuff as you spotted Tommy up ahead.

Joel though, reached out and turned you back to him by your waist. His eyes narrowing in concern towards you. “Hey, we’re not asking for privacy, you know that?”

Shaking your head you pointlessly adjusted the straps on your bag, trying not to look directly at him to avoid how easily he knew when you were lying. “No, no it’s-” Your eyes glanced over to the others and swallowed harshly. “Just got a lot of stuff that's not mine, might as well off load it.”

His deep brown eyes looked you up and down, determining something which landed him a conclusion with too many variables to be certain. “Alright.” The hand on your waist traced down the side of your face lightly, “If we’re not home by the time you get back-”

Lips tight together along with your jaw tightening in a clench, “Just head over, got it. Take your time.”

The gravel crunched under your feet as you made your way to up one of the main buildings. The town was overwhelming when you first arrived, and you had to get used to being allowed to have some life here. Then everything fell apart one by one, but now the circle has completed it’s round. You’re right back to where you started only people to go home to and less chances to wonder when you’d finally leave this place.

A few people gave their greetings as you passed them by, the only thing they knew was the three of you were gone for a few days not that so much of your world shook you by your feet. Stripping your soul bare for Joel to see.

Swerving through the gatherings, you ignored the eyes that followed you, or perhaps didn’t even see them. Shutting the door behind you, you dropped your bag with a thud and just as hard dropped your arms to cross on the table pressed up against the wall. Head dropped in there, your legs bent you let the muffled voices lull into your ears, once again getting used to so much.

Realistically everyone had gone through something, events that tore their lives and loved ones away and filled your blood with the anxiety of never seeing them again. And no one found it easy, everyone bled that pain and yet you felt selfish for resenting people here who have their lives build back together.

You weren’t special, and you felt pathetic for wishing others emotions to revolve around compensating your own turmoils. Sighing deeply you finally dragged your head back up, transferring your bag onto the table. Laying out the guns and ammo you had come into possession of, and your shedding the ones not of your own.

Taking your time, you unloaded and cleaned out everything methodically before scratching the details down on the lined paper laying about. Whoever had been in here last didn’t even put much care into keeping it all together clearly. It usually wasn’t in such a state, at least when you were doing inventory it wasn’t.

Heat rising in your chest, you paused to unzip your jacket. Pulling out the ammo kept in one of the pockets before tossing the article onto the empty stool across the small space. You must have been in there longer then you noticed, when the door opened the sounds that pooled in were quieter then when you walked in.

Hands hovered mid air, you felt annoyed that you just lost count. Peeking over you were surprised to see who it was. “You’ve been in here forever, thought I’d check and see if you’re alive.”

Alex was a tall man, probably a little younger then Tommy with a shiny smile and a bit too full of a bravado for your patience. You weren’t even sure the last time you spoke to him, or even wanted too honestly. There’s only been about four people that have heard more then a few words from you in weeks and he was certainly not one of them.

Looking at him, you tilted your head in an aloof manner. Unsure what to respond to his comment but no doubt he found a way to fill the silence. “Barley seen you the past few days,” Not technically a lie but also not even true considering you’ve been out of the town for days. “The lot of us, just wondering who’s been keeping you away- or busy, you know?”

There was no question who he meant, but clearly not on the same level for why he was referring too them, and you did not want to hear it. Not bothering to look at him, one of your fingertips tapped against the wood as you counted what was left in the box albeit with a bit more tensing strain in it’s knuckle that matched with the clench in your jaw. “I keep myself busy just fine.”

Your tone flat and restrained, not a hint at all to him though. Alex had thick luscious hair he no doubt spend too much time on, too many chemicals on top of it likely made it harder for any real facts get into his brain. A few women you’ve worked around with commented on how handsome it made him look, but lord did you not follow what they were talking about.

“No, no, yeah. I just mean you moved like what? Last week? And suddenly you’re hardly around?” If your hands tensed even more the bones would snap. “So that’s just how it works now? He tells you to move in with him and you just follow orders.”

The lifetime of anxiety you had been through felt odd in comparison as you just stood there and felt far to uncomfortable to tell this man to shut up. This was not the time you could handle Alex’s newfound issues with Joel. “It’s not like that.”

Wow, you tell him. By now you’ve recounted five times and still couldn’t even guess how much ammo you have and the frustration was rising in your throat. Your name coming from his mouth sounded nowhere near as warm and soothing as it did from Joel’s, feeling almost pathetic for wishing he was here when you had been away for what? An hour or two?

Or was it just Alex’s condescension that had you yearning for Joel’s intimate quiet. “Problem is babe, it is just that.” Since when did he think you wanted to be called something like that by him of all people? It pinged in your chest like a drop of water freezing each spot it drips onto. “You were finally starting to open up, and then what? Miller comes along and suddenly you’re never around, and fuck if you told me you moved in with him? Pretty awkward trying to stop by your house only to walk in and it’s empty.”

Your lungs tightened as your eyes narrowed. Head turning enough to look at him with something much like a glare. “You just walked into my house?”

Alex just looked at you like you were an idiot, shrugging his shoulders. “Sorry for wanting to know where you were, besides not like it’s your anymore right?”

Your palms slid to rest on the table edges, looking down while you breathed through your nose to settle the ice within you. It didn’t matter if you didn’t live there, Alex didn’t know that and he wasn’t just allowed to walk in. Only two people did and they both knew you were okay with it. Why was Alex acting like this? This only started when people begun putting two and two together regarding Joel but you had no idea why.

Giving up, you slid your eyes shut to take a deep breathe. Letting the flow, swim through to your heart as it forced it’s pace to simmer. You could hear him ask if you were even listening, but you refused to open your eyes until your heart moved back in proper place.

Your limbs lost some tension giving you the strength enough to scribble down the rest of the details and leaned up on your toes to pin it on the wall. Head down and voice low, you wanted to just leave so you kept calm. “I have things to do, Alex. We’ll talk about this later.”

Talk about what, was not part of the planning process. He did however, sigh and flop his back against one of the uncluttered walls and crossed his arms across his chest. “As you wish.” Letting the room be quiet as you finished storing the unloaded weapons and doing your bag back up.

Turning to reach for your jacket, you found him holding it out for you with one hand and a very flat fallen expression. Gently taking it you mumbled, “Thank you.” Before electing to drape it over your bag carried shoulder.

You made it a few steps into the main hall before he muttered angrily under his breath. “God forbid he catches you alone with another man, right?” Your boots squeaked as you pivoted in place, incredulity plastered all over you. But he just raised his hands and shook his head refusing to look at you. “Woah sorry, forgot he doesn’t like having of humour either. It was a joke.”

No idea where that came from, you just swallowed something heavy and unpleasant feeling in your throat before turning abruptly. Not even bothering to put your jacket on before making your way into the freezing wind.

Already too far away, you missed the uncomfortable stare down occurring between Alex and Maria, who by sheer accident had heard most of the latter half of the man’s immaturity. Ever the clever woman, gears already turned in her head that she knew weren’t clicking in yours.

Walking back to Joel’s house, you couldn’t push away something that didn’t go down when you tried shoving. A strange feeling in your limbs and chest like they were tingling, a warning of tensity that spiked your subconscious. A sensation following you all the way up the steps. It didn’t quite all get caught behind the front door as you shut it though.

No, whatever this pricking in your limbs danced within your chest as well, just dulled by the immediate sight of Ellie who had clearly not made it to her own bed. A bowl of something on the coffee table and her body flailed out in exhaustion.

Quiet as you could, you sat your bag down in the main entrance before tip toeing over. Her own bag sat on the floor in front of her, your eye also caught to a blanket on the opposite end to her feet. Finally, a soft smile made it’s way over you. Very slowly pulling the material over to rest over her shoulder. With a shake of your head you grabbed her bag and made your way to her room, quietly putting it in sight on the bed she clearly thought she wasn’t tired enough to need.

Joel’s door sat ajar, but little noise came from it. You wondered if too he fell victim to the same sleepy fate. Your fingers tapped at the wall, debating to go in. Something about Alex’s conversation bothered you, but you weren’t entirely sure why or what part of it did.

Pushing it open slightly, the light at his bedside was on, and some of his clothes were still sat out like he just peeled them off. Glancing back at the main washroom the door was shut but no water was on. He probably just finished.

Waves of similar tiredness washed over you finally now that the familiarity of this place settled. A few tilts to stretch your neck slid into a deep sigh. Opening one of the top dresser drawers to pull out a new pair of socks, you managed to get as far as closing it before sliding onto the ground seemed like the more feasible spot. Starting to undo your laces with your back pressed against the drawer handles you could hear shuffling from Joel behind the door, causing a deeper sigh.

The exhale there giving more and more weight to your shoulder, you peeled the first shoe off and tossed it towards Joel’s and dragged the wet sock down. Soles of your heels cracked in some spots and calloused in others, your head banged against the wood for just a moment.

Joel found you in the middle of all this, towel sat at his waist with water still peeking through the thick volume of hair now mostly slicked back. His brown eyes soft as they gazed towards you, while yours looked similar but also tinged in something further away. A growing look Joel still was figuring out how to address.

Finally replacing your feet covering with thick, warm socks you let your legs spread flat onto the floor your head once again resting on the drawers behind you. “Bed too comfortable for you?”

Head dropping back as you chuckled slightly, words didn’t come as easily. Watching Joel step inside enough to properly close the door, you couldn’t help but look back up at him. Your heart beat a little faster, but in two fashions. One you had become accustomed too. Broad chest wide and expansive giving way to a softer stomach with various scars scattered about. Most of which you knew of.

The more comprehensible of sides wondered if you could lay Joel out on his back across the sheets and recite each part of him as if knowing him skin deep extended to his heart, imagining his large hands resting at the sides of your thighs. Squeezing tighter handfuls when you lightly trace over more sensitive spots. But that wasn’t the only speed.

That yearning to prove you were in his heart fought against a dark tightening in yours. As if for a split second, looking at Joel nearly bare standing above you, sparked a flicker of fear. It felt familiar in a way, but not identifiable and certainly inexplicable with him.

If he detected that millisecond of emotion, he chose to ignore it as you spoke. Voice almost cracked from how weak your throat wanted to put effort into. “I got as far as the drawer, then gave up. Forgot how much work hiking through all that snow is.”

Finding a spot between the open spread of your legs, he looked down with a genuine curiosity one hand outstretching to you. “I get it, me and Ellie spent pretty much all last winter out in the goddamn woods. Where’d you usually go during winter?”

Eyebrows raising you nodded towards the towel, “Bit of a long towel for putting on a show don’t you think?” His face fell flat and you breathed out a small laugh at how quickly he almost dropped his hand.

Pulling you up with one and the other finding a steadying place on your hip he dropped his chin, eyes closing for a moment. “Don’t tempt me, I’m too tired to make it worth your while. Gettin-”

Nudging his stomach with a few fingers, he smirked at your own eye rolling one. “If you say if it’s because your getting old everyone in this house must be ancient.” You started to pull away, turning enough to pull your flannel off. “Besides you’ve more then proved appetite's not an issue.”

Joel knew you purposely nodded towards his lower half with that look. Either teasing how getting him worked up was the opposite of the truth or his stomach that both of you full well knew you’d never actually even want to tease. Wasn’t a good day in that house unless someone made fun of someone else for a numerous of dumb reasons.

Your back turned now from him, you got as far as the closet before you felt fingers grasping at your shirt and tugging you back into Joel’s chest. Both of his hands resting at your waist. Voice low in your ear rumbling through your head. “I asked you a question.”

For briefest of seconds you almost slipped up with a laugh, but it failed on your tongue. A shiver not from the cold tingling down the length of your spine. The second time in one day something wormed it’s way into your head that you were too tired to enough to identify. The spots Joels hands met your own body suddenly so much more present in your alertness.

He smoothed one of them out to his palm, sliding down to your hip as he crowded you, his height looming over you enough rest part of his head trying to peek down to the front of yours. “I didn’t mean to-”

Shaking no, you at least sounded softer unlike the uncomfortable feeling inside. “No, you’re fine. I just...” Why were you considering lying? Joel knows when you’re not telling him the truth, why would you risk a lie? “Last few just you know, cold and quiet. Being on my own, and all.”

His palm running up and down your hip, chest humming into your back with your name. “I know you said you don’t want to talk about earlier, but” your heart leaped and apparently so did your body because Joel was tugging you back into his chest before you realized you even had strayed. “But something else is bothering you, more then when we just got back.”

Trapped behind an underlying anxiety that had never occurred to you until just now. Was it the conversation itself, or were you trying to pretend as if far off in the woods did his voice repeat just one thing? Being alone with men wasn’t an issue of any kind between you and Joel, so why on earth did Alex make you feel guilty for it?

Being quiet for too long, Joel pressed his lips to the side of your head. One high, one lower, and one just below your ear. “Okay. How about we lay down for a while first?” Pulling back his cheek pressed to the side of your head, staring at the same nothing you did. “Beacuse I know for a fact you haven’t slept in days.”

Luck gracing you, Joel’s calmness and warmth pushed down the growing cold inside you. He wasn’t one for pushing people to open up about what was wrong, and certainly not with you. No, you and him had a little too much in common like that for Joel to force things before they were ready.

He hummed more in the tune of satisfied when you nodded. Exhale deflating your shoulders instead of your mind focusing on how Joel was holding you, now it just wanted his touch back in general. The fog of what was wrong pushed away, already having forgetting the fleeting second of fear entirely.

You should have known you were right. His appetite for you wasn’t at all diminished with time. The lack of any kind of underwear when he put on a pair of sweatpants was a clear indicator the man was either consciously or subconsciously thinking of easy access.

The fact that he handed you a pair, that just so happened to also be his, should have given it away as well. Getting old, your ass. Crawling under the covers you immediately shoved your face into the softness of the pillow, something halfway between a sigh and a moan muffling into the material at something under your head that wasn’t the ground.

Bed dipping on the other side, you turned partially to look at him. Feeling stupid for ever considering he meant anything more duplicitous then the kindness emminating off his face. Hair still slightly wet and the right angle of light from the window made the greys stand out. Arm lazily reaching out to run your hand slightly through it.

Smiling at the groan that left his mouth as soon as your nails scratched into is scalp, Joel yanked your arm away with a frown before just hauling you into his chest. Cradling your back once more he had you both turned to keep out of the direct sunshine from your faces.

Your free arm tucked into you while the other found it’s hold on Joel’s wrist, as his now kept you against him by your hip. For a few minutes, there was content silence in the house, not even the hustle outside crept it’s way inside. You didn’t notice when your eyes slid shut, or even register if you had been awake this whole time or if you dozed off for a few minutes.

The feeling of Joel dragging his nose down your hair until finding your neck to place another kiss at had you fidget in his hold. “Did everything go alright?” He was quiet for a second trying to let his brain catch up only to pull back when you tried turning to see him did he just keep you closer then before as you started to clarify. “You know, with-”

He hummed while his head moved against the back of yours. “Went fine. I think Maria has a few more questions but guess she figured she’d let us rest first.” It could be comical how Joel lifted his head off the pillow to see your face clearly before the guilt set in. “Hey, this ain’t-”

“I know, I know. Just...” You trailed off, almost awkwardly.

Joel gently pulled some of your hair from being too much in your face, “What?”

Flickering up to see him, you decided to burrow further into the pillow. Dark eyes too deep and intense to look into sometimes. “I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder what she thinks of me. Bringing in some pretty big problems when all I wanted was a bed.”

His mouth still close to your skin you felt the smirk forming. “Yeah don’t worry I think I have you beat on giving her the wrong impression.” Both of you chuckled as your free hand went to seek out his wrist once more, wanting something of him to hold onto.

Sparks pinching into your skin where Joel’s fingers danced up and down, peeking under your shirt and stopping just at your waistline before starting the track over. “Tommy made some mention about that I think. Something about painting you like an asshole, getting Maria on her high horse about you.”

Pausing you leaned your head back, feeling his neck lifted up to see you better still. His other arm had propped his head up by the elbow as you spoke. “Okay he didn’t say that to me. I said that to her.”

Rumbled laughter bounced from your ear and down into your chest as he let out a louder laugh before it tapered off to something further back in memory. “It’s better now. Tommy may have said some things, but I also wasn’t exactly in the best place when we first got here. Probably didn’t make things any better.”

More time passed you couldn’t be sure if you dozed through. Neither you or Joel had moved but you could feel his chest rise and fall with each passing breathe and the softness of his stomach press perfectly against your lower back. You suspected he may be awake, the dancing of his fingertips traced along your waistline without straying far.

Your heart spoke two languages once more. One you knew and understood, a gentle yearning for Joel to be as close as possible even if that meant part of him being inside you in whichever way you could get. The other though? The speeding of your heart that felt like a warning aimed and ready to sound, that one confused you.

His touch warm as they tucked themselves under the soft clothing but didn’t slide too far. Just tracing your hips as much as a he could before very slowly inching further along the skin. Not quite ready to translate, you turned partially to give his hand more space to explore what he wished. The soothing gesture of his palm flattening to run across your skin.

Neither of you spoke, almost unwilling to break the serene peace that so commonly avoided coming near you. Your hitched breathe and Joel’s controlled but deep ones behind hitting part of your neck where he brushed a space clear for himself.

The roughness of his own hand contrasted the softness underneath, much like Joel himself. Too often the looks he gave to people held little behind them that mattered. So few in his life meant anything truly important and yet he let you inside of that. Opened his heart and let you tenderly care for the emotions within that ran miles beyond anger or danger. It was an intimacy you didn’t really understand, but now you sort of do if only for Joel. Harsh, but trusting that roughness wasn’t his only side.

So close to his touch, skipping past your ass Joel cupped the plush skin right below one of your cheeks and a deeper inhale proceeded a shaky exhale right over your neck. Finding the inside of your thighs, right before reaching between your legs you felt it.

The air from his lungs wasn’t the shaking cold in your neck, because the blanket over top you both and his hands ran warm. Yet you felt your legs do the same. Joel’s movements pausing, gripping your inner thigh more firmly and shifted behind you.

You didn’t want to lie to him, you don’t know why you couldn’t stop thinking about that. But you also didn’t want to break this peace. So you let the shiver finally free fall down your back and snugged back into him more. Hoping to feign the cold.

He didn’t say he bought it, but your muscles relaxed in his touch regardless. So the one he danced over your inner thighs leaped. Two fingers moving up and down the middle of your underwear every so lightly up to your clit where he pressed down just the tiniest bit more. Releasing the pressure and back down. Once, twice, five times before he let his hand cup your whole mound.

The feeling of this thumb smoothing up and down the space just before your underwear begun harmonized with his whole hand rubbing ever so slightly. The heel of his palm not teasing rough on your clit like he had done before, instead teasing your covered pussy.

A shaky sigh leaving your lips, Joel uses his leverage to pull your hips into his pushing forward. His cock thick against your ass as he grinds into you just the slightest. Almost instinctively you found yourself leaning back into it, sparks inside you alighting at how quickly you could feel him grow harder and harder. Your arm reached back to seek him out, Joel using his own free one to grab it, bring them up to his lips.

His kiss was small and delicate at the same instance he ground his cock into you. Draping your arm behind so you could grasp at his hair, your nails scratched up and down the strands. Quiet hums of need held back in his throat, he turned to lay you on your back. His top half leaning over you, with his hand still rubbing you over your underwear.

Both of your arms shifted to hold the side of his neck and face, your thumb rubbing over the coarse facial hair. The worrying ping in your heart felt funny now that you looked at him. His eyes soulful as they drop down to your lips and shamelessly look between them and up once more, but they also held need. Like the tightness of his hands on you, Joel’s face wasn’t soft and adoring it was crestfallen and almost emotional.

He needed something he wasn’t voicing. Your gaze flickered between his own parted lips and his eyes before slipping shut. Both moving towards the other at the same time Joel’s kiss was rougher then expected.

Lips demanding you follow his, let him guide you deeper into his kiss and tease your tongue desperate to pull the gasping whine you always tried to hide. But he wanted those sounds to echo in his own and the exhaustion would have to wait.

Nails back in his hair, Joel’s kiss was as needy and sloppy as his hand was desperate to slide under the fabric of your underwear. The warmth of his hand nothing compared to the heat between your legs, but not close to where he felt most comfortable with you.

His tongue draped across yours with each new press of his lips, and two thick fingers of his pressed into your clit making small rubs. His touch both devouring and exposing, you had two thoughts. That you didn’t know why you were having such pockets of uncomfortability, and that you knew Joel wouldn’t just ask to be taken care of.

So if you didn’t want to be honest of what you did not understand, you would do what he deserved to have. One of your legs bent by the knee putting the foot flat on the bed as you pushed him away from your mouth. The kiss sloppy enough that both of your lips had a sheen of saliva coating them. Gently you guided Joel to lay flat on his back and assumed his position.

Leaning over him and capturing a much less deep kiss as your hand smoothed and nails lightly scratched down his chest and back. Nails carving up, palm smoothing down lower with each iteration of the route.

Moving one of your legs up and over to settle on the other side of his hips, you shushed his eyes ready to question. Shaking your head and kissing him once more. A smile across your face, small but soft at how affected he was.

On display, Joel felt no fear showing you what was stripped away. Both a burning rough need to have you,, make sure you both are here and to stay, but also exhaustion. Days out in the winter and more scares then any of you three ever wanted. His brain begged for sleep, but your hips just barley sat on his covered cock and your hand on his fast beating heart that needed something else.

Kissing down the length of his body, you stopped at each mark. Just a soft kiss, could even be called a peck but each one was covered start to finish before you slinked down to his sweatpants. Your palms smoothing up and down his thighs, his chest was far more tense then when you had been up there. A clench in his jaw as you bent down to kiss at his soft waistline.

Tugging his pants down slowly you kissed along with the exposed skin until getting to his cock. Joel’s hands fisting the sheets beside him, you gently pulled him out and did nothing to help the growing tension at your touch.

Moving to kiss the tip of his cock, you slide them down his thick length, your tongue licking him just as wet as his own kiss was to your mouth. You could hear his breathing grow harsher, but still tried keeping his hands to himself.

By the time you were ready to take him, you had coated his entire length. Your hand coming up to gently grip the base of his cock, much more gentle then you knew he would take himself. Slowly stroking up and down the saliva made a slick sound with each move, but it was when you licked his tip and barley let him into your mouth before moving back gently did Joel get fed up.

One of his hands grabbing the back of your hair and tugging to make you look up. Slightly sat up, his face as clenched and tense. Nostrils flared as he breathed heavily, and was the one to break the serene silence. His voice rough, almost a rasp like holding back had cracked his vocal cords. “Don’t tease me, sweet girl. Let me slide down your pretty throat, okay?”

His hand in your hair was tight, but it clenched at your heart too. The pinging in your chest nowhere to be seen, you nodded eyes wide and ready to listen. Joel’s darker ones blazed with something much more then greed. Readjusting so most of your hair was out of your face, you let Joel be the one to guide you back down onto his cock.

He didn’t let you tease him further. As soon as you had his tip in your mouth, Joel stuttered a whispering groan out at the feeling, “Oh fuck,” Your trust was in his grip, and the man knew exactly what you could handle. The hand gentle around his girth moved uselessly to hold at his hip, Joel pushing your wet mouth down onto his cock until about halfway.

Already licking what you could get, Joel held you there. Letting the saliva accumulate in your mouth enough that it may have felt embarrassing if it were with anyone else. He watched it spill from the corners and down his cock. You finally felt him push your head again, moving barley an inch down before pulling you up.

Never allowing you off him in anyway, Joel pushed and pulled your head up and down as you licked and greedily sucked his cock. Your eyes shut and a noise building in your chest that wasn’t quite a moan or a groan but just a needy sound that had Joel swearing more. Each time he moved you half an inch more of his length, “That’s right, good girl. Nice and slow, just like we practiced.”

A whine vibrated against him and Joel accidentally pushed you down barley an inch from the base of his cock with a moan, but he held you there. Your hands were tight on his thighs, but as long as your nails didn’t dig deep enough that it felt sharp, he knew you wanted more.

The pace he guided you to bob along his cock sped, and his stomach muscles went wild with a twisting pleasure. You sucked at his tip as he came close to grunting, collecting his words. “All the way down now, sweetheart.”

This time guiding you much slower, his deep voice never leaving as he pushed. “Fuck- oh fuck, see sweet girl? You’re perfect, throats meant to let me fill it up.” His hips pushed up a bit more by now, his grip less intense, more just holding you so he could thrust as he needed.

You sucking every shallow thrust he gave, the saliva and precum soaking your lips and his cock weren’t the only thing dripping. The pressure of how deep and thick he sat in your throat pulled stinging tears and a shameless muffled whine as Joel thrusted deep enough to keep you as far as you could.

Your nose pressed up against the thick, dark hair surrounding his cock. Hands holding his hips so much more desperately as you once again made indeterminate sounds of need behind his length. He pushed and pulled your head down his cock in tandem with the thrusts he could manage as the cum and saliva made a soaking mess and the wet sounds of just how much of it there was the only thing aside from whatever moans and deep mumbling of need Joel could voice.

You felt his cock throb in your mouth, almost too much too fast that you almost panicked, but you didn’t know which, what way. Joel’s moans were short and raising in pitch, breathless, “Oh god, fuck sweetheart, oh fuck-” barley audible but you decided you wanted to give him more.

Grabbing the hand at the back of your head, you covered it and pushed down until you once again were overwhelmed with his entire length down your throat and your own insides leaping at how too much too fast it was.

But you sucked, nose still pressed against the coarse hair, palms sliding up to grasp what sides of his ass you could reach from his back to the sheets. Your hand not moving, Joel moved enough to grab yours and switch. His larger hand now covering yours and keeping you sucked his cock, neither caring how much of a sloppy mess being made. “Gonna make me cum, sweet girl. Let me spill down this perfect, fucking throat, okay?”

You barley got a nod out before it snapped. Joel’s head falling back hard into the pillow behind as his hips trusted up into your mouth as he came. Your gag reflex from the pressure almost so much so quickly your heart lept in panic, but his warm cum spilling inside your mouth kept you as together as you could.

His cock so deep inside, you swallowed what you could but mostly you just were held there taking what he fed you as he mumbled incoherently above, only your name and what could only be expletives in Spanish being made out.

Joel’s hand finally easing up as he finally stopped coming, his body flushed and heaving. Sweat accumulating on his hair and chest despite the blinding white snow flying outside the window as he came back down to his senses.

You pulled off his cock slowly, as you gently sucked and licked your way off but there was no escaping how swollen and stained in his cum your lips were. Your head dropped against his hips trying to catch your breathe when Joel coaxed you up to him.

His torso moving to sit up, Joel had you partially in his lap. His eyes drooping and his face dropped in compete content, Joel swiped two fingers across your lips. Intending to drop them down to your pussy, you stopped. Something back inside your chest that you just couldn’t handle or even try to vocalize at that moment.

Instead, you pulled them both into his mouth, sucking them just as clean. His eyes narrowed, more grumbling in Spanish before pulling them out of your mouth and cupping the side of your face. His nose nudging against yours, Joel was so close to your lips you could feel them as he spoke. “Let me take care of you.”

Shaking your head you kissed him gently. Swipes of your tongues not needy, but a loving tease before you pulled away. You being the one to nudge his nose with yours this time and twin grins when it made Joel smirk. “Sleep first, Miller. We can play more later.”

Joel rolled his eyes, pulling you into his chest as he lay both of you down. Your leg swung across his and most of your upper half draped over his chest as both his arms held you to him. “Play later...Jesus christ, sweetheart.”

A kiss pressed to his heart, you focused on him. If he were to have his way, Joel no doubt would insist on giving you something in return. But he was content, exhausted and too selfish to let you out of his arms, so he missed both how clearly soaking wet and turned on you were but also that twice now you talked him out of touching you.

Laying there for a while, both of you knew sleep hadn’t come to either of you yet. One of his hands stroked over your hair, when his voice low and serious spoke up. “What kept you so long this afternoon?”

Joel was more awake then you, eyes open and trained on nothing above as he felt your head snuggle into his chest more. His arms tightening at the sensation. You weren’t awake enough to remember why you didn’t bring anything up.

You sighed lightly, “Alex caught me in the storage room.”

Whatever ping had kept your heart jumping beats in your chest earlier, twisted in an unsettled darkness in Joel’s at how that sounded, your next sleepy words doing little to make it better. “Just hassling me about you, I don’t know. He’s just been...mean...since you and I...”

You didn’t at all remember your words by this point, and Joel couldn’t even tell if you were actually conscious, but if your sleep answered honestly he was there to listen.

“Said he shouldn’t be alone with me, kind of like...”

Whatever that was leading too was the exact honesty not even your waking self realized was closing in on how uneasy you kept bleeding into. You didn’t think any words were said before you both fell asleep, but it wasn’t just anger brewing in Joel’s head as he lay there.

Feeling you sleeping in his arms, more then one thing spun in his head and he liked none of them and even more of those had no answer. But, Joel too was exhausted, and finally just let himself drift off alongside you.

Joel would wake up before you only to realize it was getting dark out. Slipping out slowly, Joel stopped at the washroom before peeking into Ellie’s still empty bedroom. Finding her still passed out on the couch, Joel just shook his head with a smile.

Just as carefully as he left the bed to leave you undisturbed, Joel moved Ellie all the way into her own bed. Her grumbles at being jostled in her sleep and the furrowed brows alongside almost made Joel chuckle out loud.

He found himself actually just watching her for bit. Stuck at her bedside, a soft brightness in his eyes until he heard you shift around in the blankets.

Turns out all three if you had let the weight of the past few days leave everyone a bit more sleep deprived then perhaps any of you had been honest about. Tomorrow, whatever foggy list of things bouncing along Joel’s brain would be dealt with then.

For now, he slunk back into his bedroom. Finding that as soon as he was under the covers, you twisted around to meet him in the middle face to face. The comfort of the others warmth at night being a gift he, deep down, felt painfully in his heart, that you once thought you didn’t deserve.

More than once you were told to just relax that morning, but you felt restless. Only getting as far as mid morning before making your way into one of the kitchens. At least if your hands were occupied that took a bit of strain off your wandering mind.

To your benefit, the others seemed to leave you be. Letting you finish one thing before nudging you over to something else without much direction. Good thing considering you barley heard any of the chatter around you, images blasting by in your head so quickly all your energy was focused on figuring out why you had this odd feeling in your gut.

There had been spurts of it before, small moments or tiny splashes of emotion that pulled you into the dark but spat you back out just as quick. Now it felt more consuming, like a shadow that kept growing and wrapping itself around you. As you stood there however, a voice seemed to trickle into your ears and a phantom tracing over your skin.

Why would you be thinking of those days right now? That made less sense then how you felt. Or why they would even be connected, until multiple faces blended into one. Alex had never done anything like that to you, or even shown hints that he may. And yet, the way he cornered you? You found yourself blending the two enough. He talked like them and realistically, looked like them in a way.

That claustrophobia as he stood at the only door trying to what? Yell at you about Joel? What did any of this have to do with each other and why couldn’t you stop thinking about it?

Vaugley you heard some rumblings outside, but it didn’t grab your attention the way it did a few of the others until turning to pass something off to another. Only to find a few of them huddled together in gossip, and their eyes already turned your way with intent.

Head tilting to the side as your brows furrowed in confusion, one of the women gestured to the front of the building. “I think your boy might be having a bit of a row.” Your face scrunched in even more confusion, as she continued. “Tall, dark hair, bit of an attitude?”

Being completely honest with yourself, that did very little to narrow it down. A few guys you knew in this place fit that description. Regardless, you turned to put everything down and headed to the front door.

The cold air as you opened the door shivered against your skin, hands already stiffening from the onslaught. Whatever had happened out here, clearly had died down but the remains were still lingering.

Joel stood a fair few feet away from Alex, his face twisted in residual anger, his dark eyes clearly fired up even from there. Alex himself was far more worked up, turning to try and instigate something once more only to be pulled back. Eventually shaking off the hand on his arm and started to walk away with steam still coming out of his ears.

He didn’t notice you but Joel did. The twisted emotion turning to something a shift more tender as he looked over to you before Maria talked him out of something. She begun walking to you as you and Joel both watched each other, your confusion much stronger then what blend of things he was currently feeling.

Stopping at the bottom of the steps, one of her gloved hands held onto the banister as she nodded inside. “Go grab your coat.” Just pointing to make her instructions more clear as you raised an eyebrow at her. Leave it to Maria to be as purposely vague as possible.

By the time you came back out, Joel was gone. A skip in your heart as your head turned one way then the other to him not being in sight and the onlookers had dissipated. The tension and apprehension in your posture was painfully clear as you stepped down still watching the now empty spot where Joel had been. “What uh-” Looking back she raised her eyebrows as if she knew what you wanted to ask. A kind of expecting expression that likely put many people on guard. “Where exactly are we going?”

Whatever her analysis was, it left her satisfied for now. “My house. Figured you’d like a meal in some peace and quiet.” You weren’t that stupid to think lunch was all she had in mind, but both of you knew there was little chance you’d want to talk out in the open about whatever she had in mind.

If living in Joel’s house felt weird, it was even weirder to be sat at Maria’s kitchen table as she insisted you just ‘relax for once’ a she did the work. Your hands now had nothing to do, and the uncomfortable energy you had still amused the woman.

By the time she put a plate in front of you, you had lost any courage you tried to build up to just speak up and ask her what happened out there. Any phrasing in your head re written and re worked until all of it sounded like a demand for information. Besides, if anyone was able to dodge a question with her own it like nothing, it was her.

Nodding at her with a muttered, “Thank you.”

It looked good, but not enticing. Nothing really felt enticing at the moment, like your stomach was churning with a toxic storm and food wasn’t even really a choice product to add to the mix. It was frustrating, not being able to just ask a simple question. Just staring in the direction of your plate with nothing in sight but what seemed to occupy your vision many hours of the day today. “So, uh..”

Maria interrupted whatever failed thought process died on your tongue. “Did you know I didn’t like Joel when he first got here?” Your head lifting up as it scrunched in confusion again, but she just shrugged one shoulder with a small smirk. “I was already with Tommy by the time we came across them, and neither me or him had much of a first impression.”

You remembered being told that story, not so much the minute details outside of what Joel had said himself. Remaining quiet as she continued.

“I thought he was a bad influence, and I can only assume he didn’t think too differently of me. To be fair though, all I had to go on was Tommy’s word and whoever I thought he was, wasn’t the same man who arrived. Even less so the second time.” Your eyes flickering over to a wall instead. Not quite sure exactly to what extend did she know certain details.

Shrugging, you took a sip of water instead of at all bothering to pretend you could stomach food right now. “You seem fine now.”

Maria smiled more softly. “We got to know each other. It’s not like how you get along with Tommy. I think me and Joel are a little too different to be super buddy buddy, but first impressions are almost never actually the right ones. You remember what I told you that first day you got here?”

Biting the inside of your cheek you stretched your memory, trying to see beyond the feeling of being an alien in a strange new world to more specific details. “Something about just getting used to him?”

Close enough. “I said he’s pretty rough around the edges at first if you don’t know him very well. He can be off putting and I don’t think I’m breaking new ground by saying Joel can be hard to get to know.” If you gave her any credit, that did in fact almost crack a smile. “What I’m getting at, is if you don’t know him, then it’s easy to paint him as a bad person.”

Eyes narrowing in caution you couldn’t connect the dots of her real intentions. “And someone like Alex, doesn’t know the first thing about the man outside of he’s in a relationship with you.” An anxious tingling in your fingers crept upwards. “He doesn’t like that you’re with him, and he’s immature enough to try and say whatever he can to change your mind.”

Nails tapped at the wooden surface, your jaw clenching. “Why would want to break me and him up, just because he doesn’t like Joel?”

Your sincerity caused Maria to pause. The last time you caught her off guard was when she had realized you had feelings for the man himself. But it possibly didn’t occur to her, that it wasn’t his feelings alone you couldn’t figure out. No wonder he had to spell it out for you, you didn’t even seem to realize if someone liked you at all.

Maria’s face however said your answer. The creeping jitters stemmed up into your veins and unsettled every part of your body it swam through. Stammering for a moment, head shaking you tried to laugh it off. “That doesn’t, why would he-”

Leaning forward, Maria’s voice grew louder but not in a yell. Clear dictation like she knew to cut through the uncomfortable denial. “Because sometimes men are fucking stupid. And even stupider when it comes to liking a woman. Alex likes you, you’re with Joel so it pisses him off. Joel confronts him and it starts a fight because god forbid two hot heads like them manage to talk anything out.”

That made you pause. You didn’t say anything about yesterday to Joel, or at least that you could remember. Why would he start something not the other way around. “I thought-”

Relenting she gave some benefit of the doubt, “Joel approached him first pretty pissed off, but Alex made everything worse by punching him. I already stepped in at that point.” You didn’t mean to tune her out, but words became somewhat muffled. Joel didn’t just start fights, you had to give him a good reason to set that part of him off.

Your name being called, your eyes snapped back to her, but your mouth worked faster then hers this time. “What are you getting at, Maria?” Blinking back, she seemed surprised at the bite in tone, or perhaps the stark intensity in your eyes.

Her face looking around mindlessly for a few moments, it almost felt like even she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to say. Analytical gaze gave way to a softer one, almost with a tinge of motherly behind it. Which only made you feel more on edge. “I just- I feel like there’s things about you I’ve seen in other people before. Something you’re not sharing.”

Did she know? Did Maria pull back the curtain and see the visions floating behind your eyes and memories that disappeared when you woke up? It was hard to tell if your silence that followed strengthened or weakened her hypothesis by the way she was looking at you.

Exhaling loudly, she broached that wonder. “Did Alex ever do anything,” a shaking in your limbs took over at the same instance it felt like your lungs refused to work. “Or make you do anything, with him?”

You couldn’t figure out what it was you felt, but it wasn’t wanting to stay here. Voice tight and restrained you looked her right in the eye. “No.”

In an instant you pushed yourself out of the chair so quickly it was surprising it didn’t fall over. A reaction Maria clearly didn’t expect, calling your name as she followed you. Managing to yank into your grasp but your upper arm was grabbed before you reached out to the front door.

Like freezing ice poured onto that spot, you whipped around. Arm jerking back in a flinch, the anger now mixed with something that not only made it hard to breathe, but also felt like it was making your heart start and stop simultaneously. Apologetic, she retracted her hand but kept it out as if to placate you from running again. Your name muttered out of her mouth, but you leaned away from her. “Maria, I said he didn’t do anything.”

“But someone did.” The shaking in your body was too strong to not be visible now. None of what she seemed to know had anything to do with your life here, with these people. So her dragging something up that you weren’t even aware she figured out? You felt like she had just exposed you, tearing off your covering and leaving it to be seen by anyone. Even if it was just the two of you here.

Vile crept up in your throat, leaving you sick, nauseous but like the inevitable wasn’t gross just unfairly painful. If you breathed, it would shake and it could all tumble out. Maria’s hand touched your arm but this time, her grasp gentle. A comfort you no doubt might have appreciated if you didn’t feel as if your chest was compressing in on you. “I’m not trying to force you into talking about any of it. But something tells me that you’ve never talked about it with anybody.”

Fingers twitching, digging into your jacket and almost letting it slip with each flex. Trying to exhale through your nose, shoulders deflated a bit. Enough to hopefully let her finish whatever she was trying to get at. “And I think you should. If not with me, then Joel.”

Swallowing hard, you got enough out almost on the verge of cracking. “Why?”

Once again she seeked something out in your expression, and whatever she found you didn’t know. “Because keeping it a secret isn’t going to make you feel any better. And the last person Joel wants to hear it from is me.”

In retrospect, you couldn’t tell if that was a threat. You didn’t even know what you were feeling, but she did and somehow understands the bigger picture. Would she really just tell Joel what she suspected if you don’t? You figured they didn’t matter.

Joel was fine enough with that first night, you didn’t lash out or cry afterall and by the time it was all over you saw no point in bringing it up. He was satisfied it seemed, and you were too. Why should he be weighed down with things that shouldn’t concern him?

You hardly could stand looking at her anymore, standing in her house or being inside at all. Turning finally she let you walk out, and said nothing as you slammed the door behind you. Feet taking you only a few feet into the snowy street before stopping to put your jacket on.

You get into one stupid disagreement with a friend and look at all the trouble it caused. Alex wouldn’t have talked to you that way, made you feel that way if he liked you and he sure as hell wasn’t anything like before.

He was an idiot, before was just a fleeting memory that shouldn’t reflect on anyone except you. None of this had to do with each other, none of it had to do with Joel. Love wasn’t supposed to be complicated and messy. All bringing this up did was make it so, and you didn’t see why other people needed to feel the burden of your issues.

Glancing over at the people milling about, the overwhelmingly normal life many carved out for themselves here. Wasn’t the point to leave your past behind? Maria was wrong you decided. The past had nothing to do with now, Joel, or anyone and it was stupid to pretend like it mattered.

Cold air dug into your skin, biting wind that should have stung more then you felt. You opening your mouth at all caused a fight. You’d apologize to Joel for it, and leave everything else behind. Your problems were your problems, Joel wouldn’t care as long as you don’t burden him with it.

First though, you needed to be alone for a little while. Away from people, and push back all of the confusion swelling your skull for as long as you could stand it. You’ll fix everything when you’ve shaken off the unsettled ill in your stomach that Maria shouldn’t have put there in the first place.

You hadn’t really noticed how dark it became until a voice called it out. “You know there are things called lights inside, right?” You had found yourself perched on a bench with scraps of paper, sketching mostly alone in a secluded area off the main street. Head whipping up, your skin crawled in on itself at Alex’s approaching figure. Instantly your face fell to annoyance, getting up walk away only to be interrupted by him, “Woah, woah, wait a minute I just wanna say something.”

Keeping far more distance between you then was necessary, you still granted him the time. Head turned to the sight of the street empty, and flickered only your eyes back to him.

It was further annoying that he seemed surprised you stayed, taking more then a quick moment to collect himself and looking much more smug then the bashful guilt he approached. “I wasn’t trying to upset you, okay? You’re my friend, I was just looking out for you.” Head inching more to face him, but your glare grew. “We barley see you anymore, I think I have the right to be worried. Whatever this thing between you and Miller is starts up, and suddenly you’re too busy for us and you disappear for days at a time. What was I supposed to think?”

Arms crossed in front of your chest, you were thankful he stayed far from you. Unable to spot your nails digging into your palms harshly, “That what me and him are doing shouldn’t be any of your business. Or that you’re not as smart as you think you are if you don’t know two private people want to spend time with each other in private.”

His face twisted in incredulity. “You just expect me to believe that the second I brought him up yesterday, you looking scared was just some weird coincidence?”

Voice raising, you tried to keep your own level. Empty streets doesn’t mean the air around you isn’t listening. “No, Alex what scared me is you.” His eyebrow raised in confusion and more upset just settled in your stomach, but without the anger to mask it. “You cornered me, blocked the door and told me I shouldn’t be alone in a room with you.”

You felt rather small by this point. His rolling eyes making you feel like a whining child who didn’t know what you were talking about. “What now it’s my fault? You know that asshole punched me in the face right?”

Pointing to what looked like a black eye, it barley even stood out. Joel clearly didn’t give him anywhere near what he could have. “So he hit you first?”

Alex said nothing, and that was that. Trying to say your name, you started walking a wide path around him, arms curling in more on yourself when he tried calling you stay. Not looking directly you stopped just long enough to glance to the side, his figure barley visible. “I-,” You exhaled shakily, fumbling with your words that would sound much braver from anyone other then yourself. “I think we should go our separate ways. You’re supposed to be my friend but not if this is what it’s going to be like.”

Not close enough to hear what he said, but not yet too far to not detect the petulant complaint in his voice. Liking you isn’t a reason to get in between the only life you’ve wanted to find with another person. Alex was just a jerk, but then again, so was someone similar.

It annoyed you, coming to the conclusion that Maria was right. Something else did happen, and as you walked slowly through the street, lights above illuminating the slowly accumulating snow fall, you started to understand that he just reminded you of that something.

His looks, the way he talked to you, all so similar to before, and so completely unlike what Joel was like to you. It still felt messy in your head. Just strands of thoughts, and half conclusions that you hadn’t yet organized into something coherent. To you it didn’t add up yet, and possibly saying all of it out loud might connect those dots.

But you didn’t want to tell just anyone for your own sake. Reaching the house, you glanced up seeing light in Ellie’s room and what probably was Joel’s room as well. You still didn’t want to unload these scattered thoughts onto him, but if you had too, you only wanted it to be Joel. Alex was right about one thing for the wrong reason.

You were scared of telling Joel the truth, but not because your fear was of him, but because to you none of it should matter. You had him, you worked and you didn’t want to ruin that but not saying anything couldn’t be making Joel feel any better not knowing at this point.

The house was quiet, each step of your feet against the wood echoed uncomfortably. Ellie’s door was partially open, distracted by whatever it was she had been reading you peeked in and passed by undetected. You figured there was a little too much stirring in your mind for her at that moment. Joel’s door was also partially open, only this time you couldn’t just peak in and dash out.

Joel sat at the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees as brown eyes followed you both softly yet lost in their own thoughts. A faint yet new mark struck across his cheek, prompting you forward. Hand reaching up to look at him closely, Joel caught it before and kept them hovered between you before pulling to get you sitting beside him.

Worry swam through your veins as you looked him over for anything else but he clearly had gotten the better hit in. If Maria knew you pretty well, Joel knew you a thousand miles better. Already ahead of your mind, he half shrugged. “You mentioned what happened last night. I think you were half asleep, but it was enough get the picture.”

He let your hand rise up, thumb trail over the red mark with a feather light tenderness as your brows narrowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you involved like this.”

An answer Joel did not aspire too. “I know you didn’t. Which is why I went to talk to him in the first place.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you hesitated in thought. “I’m not going to force you to tell me things, but that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to not care if your upset over it.”

From the scratching of his facial hair, your hand dropped down into your lap your head with it. “I-, it wasn’t that that upset me. I mean it was, but like, it wasn’t really about him.”

Joel’s eyes narrowed in thought, but let you take your time getting out what needed to be said. “If none of this makes any sense just stop me, because honestly I don’t even know if I understand myself here.”

The problem arose though, you didn’t really know what you wanted to say. The air between you both quiet and awkward, the longer it went on the longer sitting so close to Joel felt too close. Pushing up from the bed you mindlessly paced towards the drawer. Turned so your back was against the wood with your palms braced against them.

Joel said nothing. Knowing all too well how difficult it was to open up about certain things and how trying to talk you into feeling calm about it might only clam you up more. Your nails tapped rhythmically as you stared at Joel’s feet. Eyes sharp and face barley moving, it seemed to stupid to not know how to even say it.

“What uh, what he said did bother me. I mean he doesn’t know anything about us but it just took me off guard that he just started making shit up about you. So yeah, I was upset but I think it was more of...he started to just remind me of someone I travelled with for a while.” It was vague and there was no hope Joel would just leave it there.

Your palm moved against your forehead, the pressure failing to push away the anxiety inside of it. “Fuck. I didn’t-” Your heart pounded so hard you felt like it would burst from your chest in a gruesome horror, lungs lightening and the longer you waited even eyes shut the room felt like it was spinning.

Eyes glossy when you looked back up, and you hated the image in front of you. Joel’s arms braced on the bed ready to jump up, his own eyes so bright and big that flashed in a heart twisting softness that broke your heart as much. Leaving in the dark was worse, apparently.

So you spit it out, but not exactly in the way you meant it to sound. “I never did anything before. The night we slept together.” The room stopped spinning but now felt like the walls threatened to close in on you. Realization washing over his eyes, lips parted as he looked, well you weren’t sure. Upset?

“Or, I guess- fuck I don’t know. I mean it may have well been, all the stuff before wasn't anything like what happened with you, so, I mean it felt new.” Your arms crossed once more, but there was a stinging in your eyes that you hated.

Joel’s brow furrowed while he harshly fisted the sheets blow enough you could see the strain on his knuckles. His head turned away and that softness disappeared. It appeared to be taking a lot of will power to keep himself rooted in place. Through a clenched jaw he finally glanced back over. “What do you mean before? What happened?”

His tone wasn’t angry, it was distant and restrained but not something worse towards you. It left you feeling a little weird how much that alone relieved you. You looked up, trying to prevent any tears from slipping down but it felt futile.

The room either was too small or you became too big, and you found yourself crouching near the ground, hands on top of your head that hid your face from him. Back heaving from the deep breaths, your head snapped back up to Joel who now was nearer then ever to coming over to you. But he remained as you remained.

Pushing past the pounding of your heart, “Maria basically told me the reason Alex was acting the way he did, was because he was jealous. He likes me and I didn’t realize it and I guess it pissed him off, but I had no idea. The only person I’ve ever felt anything for like this, is you.” Your arms had crossed over your knees as you sat your chin into it. “I never knew how crushes and whatnot were supposed to work because I only know what it’s like with you. You were new for me. New for all of it.”

If only you could hear the pounding of Joel’s heart. His voice but a whisper, “You had never done anything before that night?” The bordering emotional apprehension in your eyes said more than Joel knew you could say at that second. Your name rolling off his tongue in a disbelief, “Everything you let me do, and you didn’t think I should know?”

You watched him get up, slowly make his way towards you as the shaking came back. Like your neck was dunked in freezing water but without the searing cold. “I thought you were satisfied enough that maybe you wouldn’t care.”

Joel was taken back, freezing in place as he once again treaded on an anger that he didn’t want you to think was at you. “What? No Jesus, this isn’t about me.” Nowhere to hide, Joel knelt down in front of you. Blazing brown eyes searching deep into your pain.

Without meaning to, your own voice raised but the choked emotions in your throat made it sound cracked. “Obviously it is because you’re angry at me.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it certainly had more complicated feelings muffling it’s intent. “I’m angry because it was your first time, and you let me be that rough with you.”

Finally, you did yell. The words, the vitriol, the tears still burning your eyes, it all slapped him right in the face. “I didn’t think it mattered, Joel. I liked it, you thought it was okay, I didn’t think you would have cared. Because the guy before you sure as fuck didn’t.”

It was a miracle to Joel that he didn’t black out on the spot. Just watching you with heartbreak as you flew up from your place and paced around the room a hand once again pressed to your forehead. Voice this time, much more defeated. “I never told you because I didn’t even know where to start, and then it eventually didn’t feel like it mattered. What we had worked, and I figured it shouldn’t matter but apparently it does to me.”

You didn’t know when Joel approached, but you suddenly felt his figure tall over you and his warmth radiate your body. His hand hovered around but didn’t yet touch. “The only other time another person whose ever been around me the way you do was back then. But I didn’t know what the fuck was really going on, and I don’t even remember all of it but it happened and the way Alex was acting reminded me of it, and kept trying to say shit about you. Even though you’re the only one whose never made me feel fucking terrified about this shit, and I don’t know. I couldn’t tell anymore if lying to you or telling the truth would be worse.”

A sob almost flew from your mouth as Joel pulled your back into his chest. His nose nudging at the side of your head while he smoothed his hand over your front and hip. Waiting for you to let go some of that intensity in your stance. “I want you to listen to me. Okay?” His hand pulled your hip into his more at your nod. “You were more then okay that night. It was perfect because it was with you. I enjoyed myself because you enjoyed yourself. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to judge you for what some fucking-”

You could feel the hiss in his voice as he pulled himself back. His grip bruising on your body, but not in a way that flashed worse memories into your present. “No one deserves that, including you. So stop worrying I’m going to get angry for something you were forced into.”

Turning you in his arms to face him, his face was sharp but also embedded with desire far beyond the physical. Your hands lightly sat on his waist as one of his own cupped the side of your face. The hold this man had on you was ludicrous. The calm he graced you with never stopped being a shock. “There’s something else I want to admit.”

“Okay,” Joel’s voice was rough, his heart bracing for whatever else he couldn’t possibly predict.

Both of your thumbs slipped under his shirt and traced the bare skin you found, a shiver stemming from your fingertips up into your heart and spread warmth into Joel’s own. “I sort of braced myself for an argument, so I have no idea where the conversation is supposed to go from here.”

Huffing out a breath of laughter, Joel tilted your face up to his. Leaning down he sat above your lips and bumped his nose gently into yours. “You don’t have to say anything.” He tested his lips, a small press against yours, leaving you lightheaded and without noticing, chasing his barley pulled back kiss. “I’ve got you. No matter what.”

Your face in his neck, and Joel’s your hair, the safety of each others arms served as your breathe of life for quite a while. Words were neither of your forte’s, but this? This was.

By the time something substantial came to Joel’s mind, his hands had been running under your shirt over your hips and back. Pressing his lips to your ear he did however hissed your name, “Who was he-”

Smirking in his neck, a wave of need danced in between your legs at this deep roughness of such a tone. “I didn’t tell you just to make you do something about it, Joel.”

His knuckles stroked down your cheek, both that softness and a need that only felt safe with him grew that feeling inside you. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it anyways.” Both of your grins and breathy laughs finally broke the painful, thick air consuming you. Nudging your nose once, twice, Joel kissed you properly.

His lips needy, but not too harsh and pouring as much of his soul into it as he was gifted. One of your hands exploring his bare chest. Palm flat and finding the softest parts and sighing into his mouth at how he felt. The other slid up behind his neck before scratching into his scalp, fingers entwined with the luscious, thick hair.

The pleasure sparked in his veins caused Joel to pull back, both of his hands moving to keep you at a distance by your upper arms. “We don’t need to do this right now, not after everything.”

You contemplated it, you really did. Something distant but sensible telling you to stand back and take the physical slow with healing emotions. However, you and Joel had already gone past that point. A confession that burned through your facade long past it’s prime. He already knew the worst parts of you now, and didn’t turn away at the ones past.

Hands now fidgeting in your lap, it was difficult once more to find words that made the right amount of sense. Your body wanted to say yes, but the protective way Joel looked at you confused your clarity. A few open and closes of your mouth before giving up in a chuckle, “I’m trying to say it’s fine, but I have no idea how to make it sound reassuring.”

Smoothing down your arms leaving goosebumps in his wake, you watched his jaw twitch in his own contemplation. Skipping your hands, you jumped slightly as he now trailed your hips and down to the tops of your thighs. Debating if his own desire would win out resolve. Fingers playing with the top of your pants waistline and a boyish glint in his eye and a smirk he failed to hold back. “Lay back for me.”

A wave of nerves rushed through you but leaving nothing but anticipation in place. Trying to lean down and take your shoes off first, Joel elected to just shove you up onto the bed with a huff. Kneeling back away from you to pull them off himself.

Large frame partially crawling up onto the bed so his face was level with your waist. Pushing up onto your elbows, you watched as he only slightly pushed the edge of your shirt up. Just enough to find a place for his mouth. Light presses of his lips, barley even a kiss but covered all he could see.

Brown eyes peeked up at you, eyebrows raised at your stare. Lips parted with muted stammering breaths and eyes wide dripping with far too much for you to associate one word with. His fingers tugged at your pants breathing more heavily himself. “Give me a hand here, sweetheart.”

Confusion rolled across your features until he gave another slight tug. Nodding as your eyes fluttered, heart racing, “Fuck- right, sorry.” Your arms moving to grasp the top of your head as it fell back into the pillow. Hips raising enough so Joel could strip your bottom half bare.

Tossing them behind you, Joel narrowed his eyes while a smirk played at his face. Crawling back up to hover over your face this time. “How many times are we going to have this lesson exactly?” The seriousness in his voice for whatever reason, slipped a giggle from your mouth. Joel trying to keep his face toned down, but his eyes didn’t match the sternness he wanted them to. “Alright, just remember this is all your doing.”

Moving down back to put his face level with your now bare half, you unthinkingly tried to placate the fake disappointment. “Wait,” Your tone sung out light and breathy. “I’m sorry-”

One of his hands slammed down flat onto the sheets beside you as he looked up with a look of incredulity that bordered on laughter. Breaking the mask immediately his voice dropping to such a flat tone as he just said your name.

Leaning up once more you did it all over again, “I know, I know I’m s-” Flying your hands to your face and collapsing back to the pillows as you tried to hide the now much louder laughter. The sound blending with the deep ones that vibrated against the bed from Joel.

Moving to splay your hands up around your head, you shook your head mostly at yourself as Joel did but also towards you. He himself moved to straddle your thighs, pulling his shirt off as he did so. “Jesus, you’re a mess.” Behind the faint light, the stature he loomed over you with you could see the dimple in his left cheek as he still smiled at you.

It was the lightest your heart felt in days, looking up at Joel this way. Smile and laughter on his face as he undressed himself with no bravado or show. Just wanting to feel your skin on his. “Getting tired of me already, Miller?”

Getting as far as his belt unbuckled and zipper pulled down, Joel situated himself properly. Taking your thighs into his hands and moving them. One wide, foot almost off the bed and the other draped gently over his shoulder. Mouth pressing more small kisses to your mound before resting his forehead in that very spot, his brown curls splayed over your skin.

Your limbs tensed as you felt heavy breathing between your legs, thinking he was trying to even out his breath. Muffled your chest pushed forward in need as he mumbled against you so close his nose was right near your clit. “Asking the impossible, sweet girl.”

Taking your response right out of your mouth by gracing you with his. Starting with good intentions, Joel’s gentle brushes of his tongue against your clit fell through at your high pitched gasp. Handfuls of your thighs now being left marks with his grip, Joel quickly moved downwards. Soaking you more with his saliva then you gave him to start with.

Tongue licking right back up to your clit and down again, each iteration of his path proving more aggressive then the other. More needy. One of his hands reached up to grip your waist and the other attached to your hip. His strength enough to pull you up to his mouth higher above the sheets as his tongue and lips send waves of pleasure through your core and up into your heart.

Back arching as his tongue slipped over the sensitive spot inside of you like he so greedily loved to exploit. The more intense he could make your orgasm, the more excuses he had to stay between your thighs. Licking and tasting you for hours.

Joel could lose himself, his cock in your mouth, but the taste of you on his, did far more. Hand on your thigh moved roughly across your skin to cup what of your pussy his mouth wasn’t touching. Rubbing his thumb harshly over your clit and groaning at how much more wet it made you. His dark eyes spying on how your hands scrunched in your hair as you tried to grind you hips to not lose his touch.

His name mumbling off your lips, Joel licked from your clit to as deep into your pussy he could get before pulling away. His facial hair a slight more wet then you saw him before. Sitting up as well as he could from his front splayed out on the bed, his call of your name was much more commanding then your mindless beg.

Two thick fingers slid into your pussy as Joel’s eyes shut and jaw clenched at how smoothly he could sink into you, yet how tight you felt around them already. Head dropped even though yours raised to his. He watched how slick you made his fingers, breathing harshly through his nose Joel was unable to stop himself from sliding in a third finger.

The gasping, “God- oh please.” It almost hurt to try so hard to focus on Joel. Your insides burned and twisted so much it threatened to reach your eyes. His nostrils flared as he looked over you pumping fingers with as much vigor as his mouth had.

Joel hovered his palm over your body, up to the ceiling as he stroked his thumb over you. “Come here.”

It genuinely took you a moment to realize he wanted your hand, but when you returned the gesture Joel kept it soft. Pulling it up to his mouth. The scratching of his slightly wet facial hair against the warm kiss he pressed to the back of your hand. The movement forcing you to sit up enough that his fingers slid deep without him having to thrust them back himself.

Joel rested it over his shoulder, and cupped the side of your neck, mumbling your name. “Do you feel good, sweetheart?”

It wasn’t mocking, teasing, no patronizing joy. He looked so serious for how out of breathe and falling apart he was making you underneath him. You nodded, but he narrowed his eyes. Bumping the bottom of your chin up with a knuckle, you leaned up more to his mouth. “Yes, yes. You- fuck. You always make me feel so good,”

Something that looked more animalistic snarled against his face, leaning his lips to brush over yours as he spoke. “This is how you deserve to feel, understand? No less.” Unable to stop his lack of self control, Joel roughly kissed you. His tongue making you taste yourself as he licked into your mouth before pulling back. Your mouths both wet and his kiss sloppy. “I’ve got you, and I always will.”

Nodding, your core tensed up as his three fingers mixed with the harsh pressure on your clit started to hiccup your breathe. “I- I...” The closer he brought you to orgasm the harder it was to speak, but Joel understood you. He always does.

Nodding he tucked your face into his neck for a moment. “I know, sweetheart. Me too. Now you’re going to cum for me.” Letting you fall back onto the sheets, Joel moved so quickly that he yanked your hips up to his mouth after shuffling back. “Let me have a taste, okay?”

His mouth licking into your pussy deep and soaked even more, you nodded as tears slowly made their way down the corner of your eyes. “Anything you want, anything,”

You think he might have mumbled something as he tasted you but it wasn’t loud enough over the wet sounds his mouth made on you. His hands bruising tight as he held you, your body arching and tensing as the white hot coiling pleasure found its breaking point.

Joel kept your hips pinned to the bed as he took everything you had. Your orgasm snapped, name cried from his mouth as you slammed both hands over it to stay quiet but the muffle still danced in Joel’s ears. “Good girl, perfect fucking cunt.”

The noise in your body and head didn’t die down however. It trailed off into more and more winding pleasure as you gasped Joels name. The shake of his head between your legs making you moan even more. Joel’s fingers wasted no time in replacing his mouth as he leaned up.

Kiss once again just as sloppy and soaked as your pussy was. He painted the inside of your mouth with your taste on his tongue. Barley able to make himself pull back, he cupped the back of your head to keep you looking into his eyes.

“I told you, I got you. Just lay back for me, that’s all I want you to do.” He left you with one last kiss to your lips before settling down between you once more.

Hardly realizing that barley a few minutes into getting his mouth on you again had Joel’s hips grinding into the sheets until soaking his jeans. You watched as he sat up aggressively, almost frustrated at the interruption, tearing them off and leaving him completely naked. Cock wet with his own precum and still half hard before moving back.

Joel didn’t take you that way, as far as you knew. His tongue inside you and muffled words coaxing you to relax into sleep. Deep in your dreams a pleasure your unconscious mind didn't quite grapple continued to stay with you.

You weren’t sure if Joel fucked you, or just the bed so much that it kept your thighs and the sheets sticky even as you both woke up in the others arms in the early hours of the morning. Though Joel was quite serious about not having sex with you while asleep when you asked, though something about the shy flash in your eye and interestingly nervous fidget had his cock stir way too early.

Kissing his way up your neck to your ear, “Just can’t stop being so filthy can you?” There was neither a firm yes or no that morning, but it didn’t stop both of you from thinking about it the rest of the day.

You and Joel looked nothing like the calm harmony that his brother had, but it worked. He let you in a long time prior, and you kept discovering that he would accept your pasts without fuss.

To your amusement however, on his snarkier days, Joel did indeed make you playfully feel stupid for thinking he’d ever see you otherwise.

[apollostears]

boyfriend | k. bakugo

anime: my hero academia

pairing: katsuki bakugo x black!reader

creator: maya

warning(s): swearing

headcanons on bakugo as your boyfriend. it’s a sfw vrs. there will probably be a standalone nsfw vrs. coming out soon. xx also these were not supposed to be this long💀

* photo not mine*

bakugo was not someone you really associated with.

when you first transferred, you acknowledged his presence and thought he was mighty fine, but then he opened his mouth and you were like 🤨

dealing with him takes a lot of energy and it was not energy you were willing to spend, so you kinda just avoided him.

but as usual, niggas can’t keep they mouth shut, and it wasn’t long until you had ended up on his radar.

it was after a sparring session, your first official one with the class, and that’s when he got to see you in action.

after seeing you fight, mans was hella intrigued by you.

when you first came, bakugo didn’t understand what made you special enough to join the hero course.

and since you didn’t talk to him, he didn’t bother you.

until you made your official debut and he was 🤩😯🤯

that made him want to fight you, to see who was stronger seeing as he officially saw you as a worthy opponent.

so long story short, he quickly found out why it was best to leave you alone.

by no means were you scared of him, but he didn’t know that and when he started fucking with you, all bets were off.

bakugo literally had no idea what he was getting into and he was not prepared for the moment you dished his shit right back to him.

japanese was still a little difficult for you, as you had a tendency to forget some words, but you understood and spoke it well for the most part.

and when you were hype about something, both english and japanese words would be flying out your mouth.

after he, and the rest of the class, experienced your semi-irritated side first hand, bakugo was definitely hooked.

it was like a moth being drawn to a flame, he would not leave you alone.

he would try to be subtle about it, but to you and everyone else who knew him (i.e. izuku and kiri) they knew that he had a crush.

y’all were literally day n’ night. most of the time you would be minding yo business and then here he would come, talking shit.

eventually, that changed and y’all were just talking shit just to talk shit.

atp, everybody either wanted y’all to fight or to fuck.

so how did y’all start talking??

easy. with a little game of spin the bottle: 7 minutes in heaven style.

both you and bakugo were competitive and not one to back down from a challenge.

so when the bottle landed on him, kiri knew exactly what to do to push his friend into confessing his feelings.

he said that bakugo would be too pussy to kiss you.

my god did that work.

after mina also betted against your ability to carry out the task at hand, the two of you went into the closet to prove your classmates wrong.

because you guys are psycho’s, y’all went in there angry af at each other to mask the obvious embarrassment you both were feeling.

“you’re such a fucking dumbass” you cursed, arms crossed and a glare on your face.

bakugo scoffed and mocked your stance. “me? says the one who landed on me, shithead.”

you rolled your eyes. “ain’t nobody told yo bobble headed looking ass to sit there.”

cue bakugo looking shook af because he knows he did not just hear you call him a bobble head.

after that, all bets were off.

“you know what, you got a lot of fucking mouth.”

you smirked, knowing full well he was right and that he just couldn’t handle you. “sure do. what the hell you gonna do about it?”

at the time, neither of you would realize it, but y’all were most definitely horny af.

bakugo, now closer to you and his arms uncrossed, held a devious glint in his eyes.

“let me show you.”

and BOOM! y’all was kissing.

like...KISSING!!

it was a little rough at first, with you in shock and bakugo kissing you like a rabid dog.

but once y’all got that rhythm, y’all GOT that rhythm.

the kiss was aggressive passion. like feelings of bottled up desire lit on fire (bars 🔥)

homie did a little boom boom pow on yo ass with his firecracker hands when he was caressing yo shit and that was a top tier move right there.

y’all were definitely in that closet for more than seven minutes until iida came and broke y’all up.

after that, you guys were somewhat dating.

neither of y’all wanted to admit the feelings you had for one another, so you guys just did relationship shit without the label.

kissing in private was a big one because hormones. sometimes y’all would hold hands or cuddle, but v rarely.

bakugo would always carry your bag during school and he’d also carry your lunch tray. not that you asked but he’s such a manly man that he had to do it for the sake of his ego.

instead of holding hands, you guys would link arms and you would lightly press into him. bakugo highkey liked that shit but wouldn’t tell you.

eventually, you guys escalated to seeing each other at night for longer periods and that turned into you spending the night in his room for the first time.

it was also the first time you guys cuddled frfr and bakugo ate. that. shit. UP!!

but because he’s a shy baby, he began to distance himself from you and that made you hurt ngl.

so, figuring that y’all were ‘done’ you did you and hung out with other people.

one of those people was todoroki. the two of you had a platonic relationship, but a strong bond and when bakugo caught y’all akikik’ing, he ain’t like that shit.

that was the reason why he had asked you out rather aggressively in the common area on a thursday afternoon.

once you guys had officially established your relationship, it was like nothing ever happened. he was still carrying yo shit and kissing you in private, but the vibes were different.

the two of you were more gentle to each other.

more loving.

he was still an asshole and you as well, but in an endearing way. bakugo became more open to loving you and more open to claiming you.

he would mainly call you ‘his girl’ or ‘his person’ (you let him watch GA one time and that was the outcome) when referring to you in person to someone else.

gone with your actual name and in were those nicknames. you’d call him ‘su’ ‘katsu’ ‘suki’ ‘honey’ (if you want something) and ‘baby’

bakugo would crucify you if you called him by his real name and vice versa.

your man is a lowkey spoiler. meaning, he spoils you on the low low and in a very subtle way. you don’t really like people buying you stuff nor are you the type to ask anyone for anything, so bakugo does what he needs to do without your permission.

he doesn’t make a big deal about it, but whenever it’s your time of the month and you feel extra shitty, he dials back on being an asshole a bit. or he’ll use his palms and pop little firecrackers on your stomach/lower back to help with cramps.

if you wearing his clothes helps (even if it actually doesn’t and you just say that just to get them) he’ll let you wear his stuff, no problem. he tried to get them back once when you were done but you almost bit his hand off so that didn’t work.

he hates whiners, but he loves when you whine for him. whether it’s for attention or for cuddles or kisses, he lives for it because period you is the only time he’s gonna see that shit. once you’ve figured out that you can get away with mostly everything if you whine, you start doing it a little more when you’re off your period.

besides being on your cycle and taking care of you, bakugo does little acts of service for you as well.

being black in a country that is predominantly not black, is hard and finding hairdressers is even harder.

somehow, with the help of his mom, bakugo was able to find a hairstylist that would do well when doing your hair and that was one of your favorite surprises from him.

like you deadass shed some tears and he was highkey confused but proud because he’s that nigga.

best believe he goes with you to every appointment just to make sure she don’t fuck shit up with his baby’s hair. he don’t got time to watch you cry and commit a crime.

as we all know, mans can cook. you love his food but he (and class 1-A) is absolutely feral for yours. anytime you cook, whether it’s soul food or any other type that you learned to make, he falls in love all over again.

since you love his food, sometimes he’ll make you some meals or snacks. especially if you’re stressed or sad.

this actually turned into him cooking for you + bakusqaud cause they complained about how he never cooked for them. then it turned into him being one of the cooks for the class when you guys alternate cook days.

he was pissed about it but was a little excited to A) woo his classmates and B) make sure they get the right nutrients to be strong and worthy heroes.

bakugo cares okay...

anyways...dates for y’all are planned out when bakugo takes you out, but if you take him out? he never knows what to expect.

once, y’all went to a zoo but it was a petting zoo and bakugo bought lost his shit when the sheep came up to him for food. you definitely have pictures of him angrily riding one of the adult horses.

and he totally rode the bull to prove a point. he won and you unlocked a brand new fantasy.

y’all are so in sync, it’s fucking insane.

there was one time where someone had said some slick shit to you, bakugo was not around, and somehow this man had popped up hella quick like his spidey seneses was tingling, to put that person in they place.

you were like 😦🤪

another time is when you both do/act similarly. bakugo can be v chill and reserved and sometimes you are the same way. the entire day, y’all move as if you’re one.

and honestly, bakugo loves the idea of you being a female version of him. it makes him so proud to see you act like him.

but don’t get it twisted, mans definitely acts like you too. he’s picked up a lot of terms that you use and he uses them like it’s natural.

not too much and not too little, but just enough that it fits and has the right impact everytime.

now, onto the more softer shit

i don’t see bakugo as being the type to automatically share his deepest, darkest secrets with you. nor is he the type to be openly vulnerable.

you weren’t the type either and two hard-ass people were not going to make a healthy relationship. but....shit changes.

the first time you guys saw each other’s vulnerability was when the attack against the camp happened. y’all were only dating for four months, but had started to form a bond.

you weren’t there when he was taken, having to be forced to stay in the classroom with the others. you were unbelievably worried when it was announced that bakugo was the target of this attack.

you tried not to worry because bakugo can take care of himself, but he shouldn’t have to. and after waiting for what felt like hours, you found out that they had taken him.

you didn’t remember collapsing on the floor and crying your eyes out with kirishima comforting you. every moment up until you and the others had went to rescue him, were a blur.

after you guys had got him back and after all might’s fight with all for one, you broke down again and gave bakugo a bone crushing hug.

“i’m so sorry.” you had whispered, that being the only thing able to come out of your quivering lips.

the others had continued to walk ahead to give you guys some space, but you figured bakugo didn’t want to talk since he didn’t hug you back. just as you had went to remove yourself from him, he had wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“don’t be sorry shithead. okay? don’t be sorry.”

his voice was muffled a bit from his lips being on your shoulded, but you heard him and a short sob escaped your lips at the fact that he was comforting you when you should be comforting him.

but your hug was enough comfort as it allowed the boy to feel safe since getting taken and he had shed a few small tears.

after that, things were different. bakugo wouldn’t tell you, but you knew that things were different. he was more aggressive and driven to be the best, but he moved as if he had a weight on his shoulders.

you didn’t know it then, but it was guilt. guilt because all might lost his powers trying to save him because he wasn’t strong enough to get away. after finding that out, you reprimanded him so hard (lovingly).

he needed to know that he was strong but that what happened with all might had nothing to do with him. and after you all got your provisional licenses, but he didn’t? that’s when he really broke.

it hurt you to see him this upset and you knew then that you would do everything in your power to prevent him from ever feeling like that, again.

you guys really grew closer those two months. at that point, y’all really were inseparable.

okaaa out of the sad shit!

he pushes you at the same amount he pushes himself. bakugo wants you to be successful and he knows that you do as well. your ambition almost the same as his, if not higher.

you guys train together a lot after hours. most of the time kirishima joins in and that leads the rest of bakusqaud to do the same.

anything that you ask him to do, bakugo will do it. mans is so whipped for you!!

you get him to do sheet masks with you every other night. and you’ve got him on a skincare routine that was good at first, but now bad for you. because when you wanna be lazy, bakugo will scold tf outta you before you give him the pouty face. at that point, he’s washing your face for you and wrapping your hair up as you fall asleep in his arms. 🥺

bakugo is definitely on your ass about your hair. especially if he paid for it? oh yeah baby, you keepin that shit in til he sees it getting raggedy. but he actually loves being apart pf your wash day routine.

you didn’t have to teach him, he just observed you and one day, when your arms were getting tired, he casually swooped in with a kiss of his teeth and did your hair.

you absolutely went to sleep and the sight alone caused bakugo’s heart to melt. that was one of the times he knew that he loved you.

speaking of love, there were several times bakugo knew that he loved you but he didn’t say it.

he knew that he loved you when you made him breakfast one morning over the summer, during the time he was working himself in the ground to get his provisional license. the bright smile on your face gave him energy despite being drained. that was one time he knew.

the second time was when you had met his mom. y’all were dating for seven months at the time and you really wanted to meet his parents. so, with a permanent scowl on his face, he took you and it was something.

“oh suki look at you!!! you were such a smiley baby!! why you so grumpy now?!” you cooed, gushing over the baby picture of him at ten months.

bakugo frowned, sitting across from you with his dad on the other side of him. “i’m not grumpy.” he gritted out, looking like a complete grump.

“he wasn’t always this way. katsu used to be a very happy baby. you wanna see him at his second birthday? oh it was so cute!” mitsuki exclaimed, flipping the pages in the book to get to where she needed.

seeing you bond so well with his mom made bakugo feel some type of way. despite their dynamics, he respected his mom and definitely held her in a high regard. that was the second time.

and the third time was on your one year anniversary.

it was something simple seeing as you had started your period that same day and were feeling like absolute shit. you felt so bad for being the reason why you guys had to stay in, but bakugo wouldn’t hear it.

“but suki we could go out and sit on the roof!” you whined while simultaneously curling into him for comfort.

just from that action alone, he knew you wouldn’t have the strength to actually move around just to go on the rooftop. your body was hurting and you felt like you could die, no way were you moving.

“relax princess. no need to get your blood rushing anymore than it already is.” bakugo teased, a knowing smirk on his lips.

with squinted eyes, you pinched the skin on his ribs causing him to flinch away from you. “fuck you katsuki.”

“love you shithead.”

*record scratch, pause* wait what?!

bakugo looked calm af but on the inside, mans was wilding. he deadass couldn’t believe he said that shit. like who tf?

you had a look of surprise and awe on your face. completely taken aback by his abrupt confession that you couldn’t really process it.

but you definitely felt it.

with a smile and kiss on his cheek, you drew even closer to bakugo and nuzzled into his side. “love you more suki.”

yeah...he definitely loved you

*join our taglist:* @sweeneyblue1 @knjkitten @simplyskz-maya

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[tsuki-sennin]

Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

[irarelypostanything]

“RWBY is Disappointing, and Here’s Why”

There’s a video on YouTube right now by hbomberguy with more than a half million views, and it’s called “RWBY is Disappointing, and Here’s Why.”  It’s two and a half hours long, and my attention span is barely long enough to write these posts, but I liked his statement about “good faith criticism.”  His thesis, basically, is that RWBY had the potential to be good but then squandered it.  But then instead of just making fun of it, like JelloApocalypse or a particular subreddit, he went on to explain the whole production process, the complex history of the show, and possible ways it could have improved on itself.  A few things he notes:

-The two writers would make a script, then simply add *Monty Scene Here* and allow Monty Oum to do whatever he wanted.  He explains some inconsistencies, like a big fight in volume one shortly after deciding to run, and an inexplicably functional train in the abandoned underground during volume two

-Monty unexpressed unhappiness with the first two volumes, but genuinely valued the learning process.  He died during routine surgery during early production of volume three

-It’s no secret that the writers were heavily inspired by Cowboy Bebop and The Last Airbender

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81fdKWOHrdE&t=7004s

*Spoilers*

I feel that this video mostly boils down to describing ways in which the two lead writers are terrible, and the animators (except in a few infamous scenes he highlights) are great.  I’m just...I’m not quite sure if it’s that simple.

Miles Luna wrote the entire Chorus trilogy in Red vs. Blue, which I thought was really well done - it managed to have a serious tone, serve as a kind of standalone series, and actually bring in its fight scenes rather seamlessly.  I took a little time to look into Gen:Lock, which I thought had better dialogue and better pacing than much of RWBY, but the lead writer is a different person.

Without actually going into the studio and seeing what the process is, it’s difficult to make judgement calls on who’s competent and who isn’t.  If the writing process is like the collaborative process in any corporate environment, probably quite a few people contribute ideas and maybe even people we’ve never heard of constantly provide much-needed feedback.

Anyway…

-Ruby mentions early on that she’s a weapons designer, which is dropped 

-The plot structure of volume one is strange - the series chooses to explore two characters outside of the main four, then has a final fight scene with yet another character

-The plot of stealing dust in volume one is dropped

-The delivery of exposition has problems - Pyrrha explains battle fundamentals to Jaune, who definitely should be aware of them already because of the family history he explains, volume three has people explaining how the tournament works during a battle….

-The introduction of Qrow, a character who criticized the other characters, was a clever one

-The last half of volume three was excellent

Let me just see how quickly I can respond to these things…

I think Ruby is actually one of the least interesting characters in the series because a) she seems to be more capable than even Pyrrha, but unlike Pyrrha her ability doesn’t alienate her and she doesn’t face the consequence of having to sacrifice herself BECAUSE of her capability and b) until maybe volume six she has no obvious flaw, other than that maybe she’s childish but quickly matures.

The video comes down pretty hard on Jaune, though, and the question of why Pyrrha would want anything to do with him.  But Pyrrha has so much ability that everyone puts her on a pedestal, and Jaune is the only want who talks to her like a normal person.  I think that was actually one of the best relationships in the series, and something completely believable - she wasn’t interested in him simply because she had to conveniently move along his character arc, she was interested in him because the two were able to balance each other out.

Uh...let’s see…

The video talks about generic villains a lot, which I think is more of an issue after they kill off the most interesting one.  Some key things, like semblances, are explained pretty late.  The animation stays great.  The music is a bit of a mixed bag, though the opening themes are usually pretty good.

Like the series itself, I don’t know if I’m sure how to best conclude this.  Every time I watch a new episode, I ask myself if I’m doing it because I’m expecting some brilliant and thought-provoking story, or if I just want to see cool people with anime superpowers fight it out.  This series has attempted to get into more complex and nuanced topics like isolationism, militarism, cybersecurity (?), racism, extremism...I keep wondering if it’s just been trying to do a little bit too much, if it would be better if it just found a way to tie things up and wrap up.  Instead we keep getting new characters, and new plots, and I kind of wonder how it all ties together when we’ve already been exposed to the main, ultimate plot...like how Game of Thrones felt after they revealed the true threat.

I still want to see where it all goes, but I think the points made in the video hold.

[littlepurinsesu]

V Watches MagiReco - Season 1 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime*

If you’ve been been following my weekly reviews on the Magia Record anime, you’ll know that my “reviews” are really more like general impressions, thoughts, and fangirling as I mentally recap the episode after my initial viewing.

For this final review of the season as a whole, however, I’m actually going to try and make it more like an actual “review" and discuss each aspect of the anime separately. I’ll be splitting my points of discussion into individual sections and giving each a score out of 10, before rounding it all off with an overall score/grade.

Oh, not sure if this needs to be emphasised, but these are just my opinions! You may agree and you may disagree, and either way is cool!  (・ω・)b

Before I begin, I just want to make it clear that one very, very important thing to keep in mind when watching and reviewing MagiReco is the fact that it isn’t a direct continuation of PMMM. So many people find themselves unable to enjoy the series because it’s “not the same” or “not the PMMM they know” etc. But it isn’t and was never intended to be. It’s a spin-off, not a sequel. To expect a spin-off to have the exact same impact and level of quality as the original is unrealistic to begin with, not to mention that although comparisons will be inevitable, the original PMMM anime has reached a legendary status where it isn’t really fair to compare anything with it xD

(And for the PMMM fans who are unhappy with MagiReco simply because it isn’t “dark enough” and there isn’t enough “suffering”, all I can say is that if a lack of darkness and suffering automatically means the show is bad, then this one just isn’t for you. Dark doesn’t equal good, and suffering isn’t essential. MagiReco is not intended to have the same tone as PMMM, and those elements do not entail everything that defined PMMM to begin with anyway.)

For these reasons, I’m going to try my best to review the MagiReco anime as a standalone piece and try not to make too many comparisons with PMMM, unless explicitly necessary. Also, as a game player, the inevitable curse of “expectations” was a major issue I needed to overcome when watching the anime. I will therefore also try my best to look past these expectations and try to see the anime as a story of its own. However, there will be discussions on the changes that the anime made and how I feel the anime did in adapting the game story for a television series.

Anyway, sorry for all the additional rambling. Let’s jump into the review before I lose everyone’s attention ^^;; 

Plot: 8/10

One thing I love about the MagiReco plot is that they take the original world and concepts of PMMM and actually come up with a whole new story. It’s familiar yet different, and a perfect way to please the nostalgic fans while also offering something fresh. The PMMM world always had a lot of potential to explore other girls’ stories, considering how many Magical Girls there are, and it’s nice to meet a whole new cast of characters with their own story that’s still set in the same world and uses the same concepts we’re familiar with.

I think my favourite thing about the MagiReco plot, which is the same both in the game and in the anime, is the idea of the Wings of Magius. Any story that involves Magical Girls somehow trying to undermine or overthrow the Incubators’ system always has a lot of potential, in my opinion, and it’s a creative way to delve even deeper into PMMM’s unique take on the magical girl genre without being repetitive. But the key to what makes the Wings of Magius so compelling and intriguing as antagonists is the moral issues it raises. The grey morality going on with the Wings of Magius is not too different from the issues presented by Kyubey, and these kinds of moral debates get the audience really thinking about what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s good and what’s evil. The Magius are presented as being very similar to the Incubators in many senses--sometimes even worse--and I always love a compelling villain or villain group that actually gets the audience pondering whether the bad guys really are that “wrong" after all. Plus the whole idea of salvation and liberation and the whole cult impression we get from the Wings of Magius really adds another layer of that dark and creepy atmosphere that PMMM does so well.

However, I do strongly feel that many of the important scenes and major plot points were presented much better in the game. As mentioned earlier, having played the game meant I was going in with expectations for how I wanted/hoped/expected certain things to be done, and this is a common issue that adaptations have when there’s an audience familiar with the source material. I’m okay with completely changing parts of the game’s story to create something new, but there were instances where the anime intended to replicate the scene as it was in the game but somehow fell short in its presentation. These cases of inadequate storytelling thus hinder the unfolding of the plot, ultimately creating problems with coherency and pacing. (I mean, if you think about it, the “main plot” doesn’t really even truly begin until all five main characters have been introduced.) I have dedicated a whole section to this pacing issue, so I’ll go into detail when we get there xD

Characterisation: 7/10

The anime’s presentation of the characters ranges from fantastic to extremely lacking. Iroha has moments where she’s extremely passive, but also times where she’s shown to be quite proactive and brave as well. I’m honestly not too sure what to make of Iroha’s characterisation so far due to this big range, but I’m hoping that she’ll show more growth and that her changes will be written in a way that actually makes sense, rather than abrupt shifts that make you question how and when she had it in her. Either way, she’s a lovely sweet girl and a very likable character, and I do like that even if she isn’t necessarily always doing anything or contributing to a fight, the sole reason she’s in Kamihama in the first place (to look for her sister) is a good sign that she knows what she’s doing and has taken the necessary measures to go about her quest.

Yachiyo didn’t seem to display much uniqueness until her past was unveiled, and that wasn’t until we were well into the second half of the first season. In my opinion, this took way too long. I find this to be a slight problem because of how central to the plot Yachiyo is, and while I understand that backstories being revealed later on can have a bigger impact (like Homura’s in Episode 10 of PMMM), the way they portray Yachiyo throughout the majority of the season doesn’t have that constant loose thread hanging. She almost seems too “normal” at times, blending into the cast, and only when certain things happen or when someone says something in particular do you actually remember that we still don’t know what her deal is yet. I guess what I mean is that a more looming sense of “mysteriousness” could have justified the late reveal a lot better. The reveal of her past and her wish were slightly underwhelming, too, seeing as we hardly got to know Kanae and Meru before they were killed off, making it difficult to connect with those characters and thus relate to Yachiyo’s grief at losing them. And as for the revelation of her wish, I’ve ranted enough about it in my review for Episode 13, so you can check that one out if you haven’t already xD

Tsuruno has it even worse than Yachiyo because they literally haven’t revealed or even teased anything about her. All we know is that she works at a Chinese restaurant, was already friends with Yachiyo in the past (this “mystery” was later explained in Yachiyo’s flashbacks), and is super cheerful and energetic. Her backstory is the only one that hasn’t been shown yet, and they never really even hinted at there being something deeper about her character. While I completely understand that they’re intending to leave all that for the Rumour Tsuruno arc (which will most likely be done next season), I feel that they really needed to give us at least something for now. Even in the game, we got a better sense of who Tsuruno was as a person before the Rumour Tsuruno arc revealed her hidden sadness. I guess I can’t really fault the anime for this, since they’re just going in chronological order, but a little more insight into Tsuruno’s character would have been a better decision so that we don’t get another round of “info-dumping” when we do get to Rumour Tsuruno, and the reveal about her inner emotional turmoil would actually be a slight twist that adds even more depth to her character, rather than random information that never seemed important because there were never any signs of it.

But while Yachiyo’s and Tsuruno’s characterisation could have been better, Felicia’s and Sana’s were handled superbly. The anime actually made me adore Felicia as a character when I merely “liked her enough” in the game. She’s so much more than just the spoiled and rowdy child who goes berserk when seeing a Witch, and her introductory episodes (namely Episode 7) actually managed to move me to tears. Her bond with Iroha is also portrayed even more nicely in the anime, and I have a newfound love for the friendship between these two, which is quite underrepresented in the game. Felicia manages to retain all the lovable traits she displayed in the game with just the right amount of brattiness so as to not seem too annoying, and the anime hasn’t even really touched upon the cruel reality behind her wish. Whether or not they venture into that territory at some point, I just hope they continue doing as amazingly as they’ve done with Felicia so far, because she really is super cute and a lot more likable in the anime version <3

As for Sana, she’s more or less the same as her game counterpart, but something about the way the anime unveils her past makes it even more tragic. We’ve always known of her terrible “family” and the unfortunate circumstances of her home life prior to joining Mikazuki Villa. But the episodes that detail her story did a stellar job at bringing out and actually showing the sheer horror of having a family like Sana’s, and just how deep and suffocating her sense of loneliness was. Her story is absolutely miserable, but the anime manages to present it in a way that doesn’t make it seem like they were “trying too hard” just to make it as sad as possible. The things happen for a reason, and the consequences it has on Sana as a character are all realistic and believable, and even a wish as extreme as hers made perfect sense after seeing everything she had to go through.

Other characters don’t seem to have as much of a presence to warrant a paragraph of their own, but I will give honourable mentions to Rena and Tsukuyo. Rena’s Magical Girl Story made me a sobbing mess when I first read it, and while the anime obviously couldn’t sidetrack and include all the details, I think they did a pretty good job considering the limited amount of time they could spend on a supporting character. The anime also did a really nice job at giving Tsukuyo that humanising moment during her conversation with Iroha at the cafe, emphasising the good inside of her despite being an antagonist, and also taking the chance to give her a sense of individuality so that she and her sister are not always seen as an identical and inseparable pair with no personal lives or traits, so props to them for that :) Mitama has hardly made many appearances and doesn’t even seem very story-relevant at this point, so I’m wondering how they’re going to build up her importance in the next season so that she doesn’t seem like the “token shopkeeper character” who’s there for no real purpose outside of gaming mechanics (because we all know that Mitama is so much more than that). And as for characters like Kaede, she’s been changed so much that I’ll reserve my judgment for now because I simply don’t know where they’re intending to take her character. Same goes for Kuroe and her still-unclear purpose in the plot lmao

I think it’s important to remember that a lot of characterisation we get in the game is from Magical Girl Stories and Event Stories, both of which are obviously not viable to delve into too much in the anime. As a result, I guess it’s “to be expected” that the anime will have to give up quite a bit of the details that make all these characters so real, likable, or relatable. I’m not an anime writer, nor do I know anything about adapting games into anime, but I do feel that it would have been so much better if they had come up with some other way of compensating for the lost characterisation moments that are only shown in the game’s side stories. Not sure how else they should have done it, but simply removing some of these vital bits of information does harm the portrayal of these characters, especially when they’re part of the main cast.

But yeah, mixed feelings because while some characters really needed more work in the characterisation department, others were handled amazingly well xD

Pacing: 4/10

Okay, let’s be real. The pacing was almost definitely the anime’s weakest point, and possibly one of the main reasons why someone would find the show hard to enjoy or even understand. I’ve seen people complain that the story is too fast, and I’ve also seen people complain that it moves way too slowly. In my opinion, it really is a combination of both, and I’m honestly quite fascinated at how the anime somehow manages to pull off being both too fast and too slow at the same time xD

The story is almost excruciatingly slow in that it takes a whole ten episodes before the main cast is fully assembled. I thought a bit about this and, to be fair, some classic magical girl shows also take many, many episodes before all the main characters are introduced, such as Sailor Moon taking a whopping 33 episodes before all five Inner Senshi have gathered. So I guess this slow episode-by-episode “collection” of team members really isn’t something new. But MagiReco isn’t really a long-running anime that has filler episodes back-to-back to justify the slow pace of the plot. The plot is moving every week, yet it still feels like it takes forever to get the main cast together, which is slow enough to make the viewer question what they had been sitting through all this time when it’s been ten episodes and the story is really only “actually beginning” now.

And at the same time the plot somehow manages to feel too fast at the same time. How is this even possible? My answer to this is simply the fact that they introduce conflicts and mysteries, only to quickly resolve them and then immediately jump to the next one before the audience has even had a chance to really process or understand what they just watched. We’re not given the time to really absorb the development of the story or the subtle changes the characters are undergoing before we’re immediately thrown into a new mini “arc” the next week. In some ways, it almost seems like the “Monster of the Week” formula that many magical girl series adopt, only instead of being aware that we’re seeing trivial conflicts that are intended to last for one episode with characters we are likely not going to see again, MagiReco is throwing out new ideas, new terms, and new plot-relevant characters almost every episode, vomiting out information in a way that viewers who haven’t played the game will find very difficult to keep up with.

And that brings me to one of the biggest problems I had with the anime: important terms and concepts are often thrown in as a “by the way”. (This is most apparent with anything to do with the Wings of Magius before Episode 10, most notably Alina’s introduction.) Game players will obviously know what they’re talking about, but anime-only viewers are left confused and lost as to what exactly is happening half the time. I’ve seen more than a few instances where a viewer who wasn’t familiar with the game needed extra clarification and explanation before they understood certain things, and honestly that isn’t a good sign. All the important stuff should be made crystal clear so that even anime-only viewers will be able to grasp all the concepts without game players to spell things out for them. The anime should be a standalone piece on its own, not a “supplement" to the game. And the consequence is that anime viewers are constantly raising their eyebrows and wondering what the heck just happened or when the heck something was ever established, because crucial information is thrown around with no emphasis and the fast pace doesn’t allow viewers to digest anything properly. This unclear storytelling wastes the opportunity to present mysteries that are intended to keep the audience invested; rather than continuing the series because you just have to find out what something means or why something is the way it is, you’re left with question marks popping up all around your head because you’re confused af and wondering if you forgot or missed some crucial information at some point.

Another issue I had with the anime was what I’ve decided to dub the “one-shot curse”. Witches and Rumours alike are one-shot-ed so quickly and fights resolved so suddenly that I was often left wondering what the point of that fight was. Not to mention that a lot of the battles lacked real “action”. Witches appear, get one-shot-ed, and the characters return to whatever it was they were doing before as though nothing had happened. So... what was the point? I guess they really wanted to emphasise just how many Witches there are in Kamihama and just how easy it is to come across one everyday? Or maybe it was just for the sake of including an obligatory battle in each episode so there’s at least some action each week? Either way, if you’re going to include Witch battles, you may as well do them properly. For crying out loud, InuCurry, the guy who designs the Witches, is the director of the MagiReco anime! You’d expect a bit more emphasis and flourish to highlight what he’s so good at! But to be fair, there were some good Witch battles, such as the ones in the first episode, the ones in Yachiyo’s flashbacks when Kanae and Meru died, and of course, the epic battle between Holy Mami and Sayaka in the final episode. So they’re not all that bad, but I just feel like there was a lot of wasted potential.

I find that the main problem is a lack of balance between the battles, the exposition, the plot, and the fluffy slice-of-life stuff. All these are crucial to a good anime, and a lot of these moments were done quite nicely as standalone scenes. But the way the MagiReco anime has packaged them together and tied a very unattractive Bad Pacing ribbon on top just doesn’t work. It’s like a giftbox that has some lovely things inside if you look carefully at them one by one, but the way the gift is presented just isn’t very appealing and ruins the goodness of the content inside.

I get that the anime probably has issues with pacing because it’s essentially adapting a mobile game. I’m not sure if the pacing would be better if this weren’t the case and the MagiReco story was scripted for an anime to begin with, but I really, really hope they fix these pacing issues next season.

Visuals and Animation: 8/10

To me, the visuals were nearly always top-notch, and definitely a huge improvement from the original series. They managed to retain the art style of PMMM while also updating it so that it looks a lot more sleek and polished. The characters looked great, the scenery is gorgeous, the labyrinths all unique and intricately designed, and there was a lot of clever visual symbolism going on in the still shots and subtle scene transitions. I’m not an expert on animation or visual arts, but I definitely think this series deserves a very high score for this section.

There were a few instances where we saw some wonky “meguca" shots, but those were rare and nowhere near bad enough to detract from my overall enjoyment of the series. I don’t really have much else to say because, like I said, this really isn’t my forte, but I genuinely loved most of the visuals we got.

Music and Soundtrack: 9/10

I know a lot of us were disappointed when we learned that Yuki Kajiura would not be returning to do the music for MagiReco. And we all knew that whoever they hired would have very, very, very large shoes to fill. And I can definitely say that I was not disappointed at all.

Guys, the music for this series is AMAZING. Takumi Ozawa managed to capture the style that Kajiura used for PMMM in a way that retains the original tone of the franchise without seeming like a mere carbon copy of her work. I don’t think there was a single musical piece in there that didn’t make me feel like, “Ah, this is no doubt a PMMM anime!” And none of them gave me the impression that he was “trying too hard" to “rehash” Kajiura’s style. No, there’s familiarity and there’s originality, and it’s all packed together in a way that allows MagiReco to retain the charm of its predecessor while also standing strong as a work of art by itself.

I only docked one point because there were so many amazing tracks from the game and I don’t really understand why they didn’t use them when there were moments that seemed perfect for those tunes. It would be a nice sense of familiarity for game players, and it’s still considered “new stuff” for anime-only viewers too, so I really don’t get why xD Maybe they really wanted to separate the anime from the game? Which is also fair enough :)

I wasn’t so sure about “Gomakashi” as the OP when I first heard it in the trailer, but it’s definitely grown on me! While I still think “Kakawari” is superior and has a more catchy and iconic sound to it, “Gomakashi” is sweet and girly, very much like the kind of song you’d hear in a magical girl series. I don’t think this is an OP that will be legendary enough that everyone knows the tune (like the theme song for Sailor Moon, for example), but it’s a lovely song and I do like it a lot ^^

“Alicia” was beautiful from the very first time I heard it, and I’ve only grown more and more fond of it with each listen. Definitely one of my favourite EDs of all time, and perhaps my favourite OP/ED song out of the entire PMMM franchise.

And that ED song for the final episode? Gorgeous, too. Almost has a “Magia” kind of sound, and definitely sets a darker tone for the upcoming season where (I assume) sh*t starts getting real.

Overall: 7/10, B+ or A-

Despite my criticism and picking the anime apart in this review, overall I still genuinely enjoyed it a lot :D It’s far from perfect, but I was nowhere near as disappointed as I’ve been in the past with other anime adaptations, and while some parts could definitely have been handled a lot better, it was mostly still decent in my opinion. Get rid of the pacing issues and I’d probably give it a solid 9 (for context, I rate the original PMMM anime a 10/10, perhaps even higher if possible).

Again, I think my experience and knowledge as a game player definitely influenced my view on the anime as an adaptaion. For example, I already love the characters and know enough about them, and so I probably didn’t really feel the consequences caused by the anime’s sometimes lackluster characterisation. I also often have ideas of how I want or hope a part gets adapted, and then get disappointed when it’s done in a different and underwhelming way compared to what I imagined. I’m sure my impressions, comments, and scores would be very different if I were an anime-only viewer and had no idea how things went in the game. But alas, you can’t have both experiences to compare, so it is what it is xD

Anyway, no matter how much I nitpicked, I still love MagiReco a lot, both the game and the anime, and am really looking forward to Season 2! With the obvious changes they made in that last episode, I get the feeling that it’ll only diverge even further as the story unfolds. I’m okay with these new surprises and new takes on characters, but I do hope that they aren’t changing it all completely, because there’s a lot of good stuff in the later chapters that I really hope gets animated, e.g. Kanagi’s entrance, Rumour Tsuruno, Yachiyo vs. Holy Mami, basically everything that happens at Fenthope in Chapter 9, and of course, the big reveal about Ui, Touka, and Nemu’s wishes in the final chapter. Just imagining these things animated already gets me super excited, so hopefully we’ll at least still keep the core of the game’s story despite the changes (and hopefully these changes are all improvements!) ｡^‿^｡ 

~~~

And since the anime is taking a break, my reviews will also be going on a break ╥﹏╥ I’ll probably still pop up in the MagiReco tag every now and then if I can think of something to talk about, though? Depends on what I can come up with xD But yeah, I don’t really post updates about my gameplay here (unless it’s something major like pulling my favourite character lol), so if you’re interested in seeing any of that stuff, you can follow me on Twitter instead, since I’m much more active there nowadays. I’m always happy to discuss things and scream with fellow fans, so whether it’s here or on Twitter, please feel free to approach me anytime if you want someone to fangirl with (๑ゝڡ◕๑)

I’ll be ending this post here! Thank you so much for reading, and please continue to love and support MagiReco while we wait for the second season ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

[martykirkby]

Any holby or casualty episodes you’d recommend rewatching? Idm how old, thanks :)

(i’m gonna put this under a read more bc it got way longer than i intended it too and you didn’t even ask for descriptions i’m just incapable of being concise ever sorry! i bolded the titles so you don’t have to read it all)

okay so it depends what characters you care about, bc my answers would be different based on who your faves are, so these are my faves to rewatch (but will probs be super biased towards my fave characters)! obvs i’m not saying watch all of them (unless you want to) but i’ve included reasons why i like them so you can decide based on what you enjoy.

holby (i’ve only watched from s16 with a little of s15 and s6 so it’s gonna start there):

intuition (16x11)- dom’s first episode back after his guest stint, and adele’s first ep! this is the first episode i watched when i started watching holby properly bc i was impatient and wanted to get to the dom scenes so i haven’t watched most of the s16 episodes before it but i would probably say watch 16x10 as well bc that’s when jac gives birth and this ep has a lot of scenes about her and emma.

prince among men (16x16)- raf’s first ep in which he’s v v iconic and also i love dom, zosia and arthur and frustrated mentor sacha and there’s that woman who’s like in love with a mummy until she finds out it was a female mummy. also jac and emma!!

one small step (16x42)- again i LOVE the keller trio, this is the first ep where they really bond even if it’s over a super traumatic experience w zosia. and connie crosses over for the first time since she joined casualty, which i rlly liked.

star of wonder (17x10)- a really important episode for zosia’s character and her bipolar sl! also i like christmas episodes

the ides of march (17x32)- another big ep for zosia and the one where she decides to move to darwin

beautiful (17x45)- dom taking a level students on a tour of the hospital and bonding w one of them and quoting that christina aguilera song... i love him

at first i was afraid (17x50)- dom and arthur roadtrip! the karaoke scene! frieda as a patient! elliot’s exit ft some really nice scenes w him and jac!

left behind (18x05)- i just really like all three storylines, i’ve rewatched the mo and wiliam sl a few times just bc i like mo and this ep is the last one of that sl and it’s my fave of them, and you can watch it as a standalone if you already know what’s happened in the eps beforehand.

blue christmas (18x11)- the only one i’ve seen where jac’s past is rlly talked about bc it’s the one where fran reveals they know each other. apart from that it is just a nice christmas ep and i really like all the other storylines going on.

young hearts, run free (18x13)- the ep where dom arthur and morven have to do some scavenger hunt thing in the woods!! and dom has a chicken called henriketta!! that’s reason enough to watch it 500 times tbh

one under (18x21)- for some reason arthur’s patient sl haunts me, but i think it is a rlly good (but sad) ep for arthur as he comes to terms with his cancer test

it tolls for thee (18x31)- arthur and morven’s wedding and i love them

i’ll walk you home (18x35)- arthur’s last ep (as not a figment of someone’s imagination) and it’s devastating but the episode is so so well done and i watch it whenever i need to cry

another day in paradise, parts one and two (18x38 and 18x39)- i just really like all the different storylines in these eps, the patient sl is like. wild and there’s focus on jac being a mother and dom’s grief and sacha and essie i just rlly like them

protect and serve (18x47)- this is the one after the helicopter crash in casualty so i always watch it after watching that one. it’s a good episode that focuses more on the characters than the storylines and i love the crossovers too.

i do, i do, i do (19x13)- an episode in which a main character’s daughter dies has absolutely no right being as funny as this, but the derwood/inga wedding is so so funny and also rlly sweet at the end and the contrast with the elinor storyline is wild (and also something i wish holby would do more often bc recently they’ve done like three depressing storylines in one ep)

the hard way home (19x35)- tbh the main reason i’ve rewatched this ep so much is for dofty which obvs i don’t care about anymore, but it’s also a really good ep just for dom w his steroid addiction and the anniversary of arthur’s death. and it’s damon’s first ep and i miss him

group animal, parts one and two (19x61 and 19x62)- the shooting eps which i also watch when i wanna feel sad, but also they are just really good episodes in general

also the last two eps of s19 after the shooting bc i’m incapable of not watching the aftermath

i haven’t rewatched any s20 or s21 eps except when giffing so i can’t rlly recommend any there

casualty (for some of these just pretend that lofty never existed on holby and his character was never destroyed):

next of kin, parts one and two (26x15 and 26x16)- the second ep is more exciting but you need the first one for context, it’s just classic high stakes drama, the entire ed was on fire bc they stopped filming in bristol so they were like yeah let’s completely destroy the set! and it’s ruth and jay’s last episodes.

duty of care (26x17)- also high stakes drama, tom’s first episode and the first ep filmed in cardiff. there’s a poisonous gas leak AND an explosion.

love is (26x23)- danny dyer did more acting in this one (1) episode than he has his entire career on eastenders i swear. i didn’t expect to get so emo about it.

the ‘ricochet’ eps (26x25, 26x26, 26x27)- casualty didn’t hold back with these eps. they’re v good eps (s26 has some of casualty’s best episodes imo) but a LOT about gang violence and a trigger warning for rape in the second one.

zero sum game (26x39)- fletch’s first episode! i mainly like it bc of that but it’s also fun to see how much lloyd hates him at first.

the #holbyriot eps (26x41 and 26x42)- definitely some of the most tense episodes casualty’s ever done, back when they cared about social issues like police brutality.

rabbits in headlights (27x17)-  the first episode for robyn, jamie and aoife (and ally but she leaves the next ep). i love seeing how far robyn in particular has come, and i loved jamie and aoife as well and seeing them as tiny dumbass students is fun.

unsilenced (27x31)- the fgm storyline, again when casualty used to care about social issues. it’s really well-written, i think.

once there was a way home, parts one and two (28x01 and 28x02)- this is ramin’s first appearance and i love him and jamie and the way jamie basically risked his entire job to help him. the first one is also rita’s first ep!

carrot not stick (28x35)- this one has a patient from 28x33 in, but you don’t need to have rewatched that one to get the gist. lofty and dixie take said patient to visit his dying mother and they go to the beach. they sing dolly parton. lofty steals a puppy. it’s just a really nice episode imo

born lucky (29x05)- this is a sad one, but i really like the relationships between the staff in this one, and i think it was a good final episode for jeff.

entrenched (29x09)- casualty said football fans don’t deserve rights and also lofty makes some points about the futility of war. michael spence is in this episode!

deadfall (29x10), the road not taken (29x26), holby sin city (29x39)- i’m grouping these together bc they’re all the ‘holby noir’ standalone episodes and if you wanna watch one ep and not have to worry about the long running storylines, they work. they’re also completely insane and v fun imo. the road not taken is my fave.

a child’s heart, parts one and two (30x01 and 30x02)- i’m not a fan of it focusing so much on charlie’s life story, but i love episodes just after a crisis and especially when one of the team is in danger bc you really see how much the staff all care about each other. these eps also have the start of louise’s storyline where she switches from a receptionist to a nurse.

high tide (30x27)- lofty’s last episode, jez’s first, and it’s also a really good episode for cal and ethan. and although i don’t really care about any of them except jez anymore, i still think this is a good episode to rewatch just to see like. them as characters.

too old for this shift (31x01)- this is the feature length episode so like. it might not be ideal to rewatch but again it’s the helicopter crash episode, so you really see the staff pull together which i love, and there are appearances from jac and fletch, and video calls from people who have left the show. like i said, it goes with protect and serve on holby so i usually rewatch those together.

mobile (31x27)- i literally just rewatched this episode last night which is why i’m thinking about it, but it’s a really good ep and it’s the one where robyn gives birth and her scenes with david are so well acted. they also link all three stories in some way to mobile phones which i thought was cool.

5 days (31x28)- i love robyn so i really love this episode. there’s a lot of character development imo, from being in denial and optimistic to realising how bad charlotte’s situation is and struggling to cope, to accepting how it is and being there for her as a mother.

one (31x44)- the plot is okay, it’s not something i’d be particularly interested to rewatch apart from the fact it’s filmed in one shot which makes it fun to rewatch.

32x19- max’s last episode and we find out a lot about him! and ofc there’s the zoe and max reunion and i just really like max in this episode.

32x21- bea’s first ep and i love her, also really shows how much a real ed has to cope with and has alicia start the anonymous blog which is v iconic of her.

i haven’t really rewatched any eps that aired after this specifically for one ep (i’ve rewatched every episode jade and marty and archie have been in but i don’t always care about the eps themselves)

[gumnut-logic]

V. T. Green (Part 4)

Title: V. T. Green

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Author: Gumnut

5 - 21 Sep 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: “Did you discover this, Brains?” He frowned. There was something familiar about this. Maybe they had discussed it recently.

“Oh, no, this is V. T. Green. The man is brilliant.”

Word count: 2916

Spoilers & warnings: None.

Timeline: Standalone

Author’s note: Apologies for the delay on this. I had some major writing mojo interruptions in the last month due to illness. But the brain is working okay at the moment and I wrote a good chunk of this today. So much for a four parter, possibly a six parter now ::headdesk:: I knew I shouldn’t have estimated it.

This is one that I have been meaning to write for some time. I hope you enjoy it :D Many thanks to both @scribbles97 and @vegetacide for all their wonderful help with this.

Thank you for all your wonderful support with this. I hope you enjoy this bit. There is more to come. ::hugs you all::

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

“It’s you.” Gordon was staring at him.

“Who?” Shit.

“V. T. Green. Oh god, it is so obvious. Virgil Tracy and his Green Machine.” Gordon let out drawn out laugh. “Hoo, this is a good one.”

“Gordon!” What the hell had happened?

“Yes, my genius bro? Ooh, when do I get this self-healing polymer upgrade to Four? Sounds totally cool.”

“I don’t even know if it works yet.”

And Gordon was staring at him again with a small triumphant smile on his face. “Genius bro.”

“Shut up.” But it was half-hearted and Virgil found himself half-smiling.

There was silence a moment, Gordon turning his attention back to Two. Virgil fiddled with his sling.

“Why haven’t you told anyone?”

“Didn’t know what to say.”

“But this is major, Virg. Brains is ecstatic about this guy, well, about you. When he finds out V. T. Green has been under his nose all this time...” Gordon frowned at him. “What is it?”

Virgil shrugged.

His brother’s frown deepened. “What is it, bro?”

He didn’t answer, looking away.

But then...he straightened his shoulders. Voice quiet. “You’re right. It is obvious.”

A pause as his brother processed that. “Aww, shit, Virg.”

“Thunderbird Two, Thunderbird One is on site. You need to get here fast, Virgil. We will need to deploy nanocrete as soon as you get here. The wall is not going to hold.”

“FAB, Thunderbird One.”

And they were on approach, all conversation was killed off as business came to the fore. Gordon landed Two beside the dam in the same spot Virgil parked her last time.

The scans at this proximity only screamed louder that the dam was on the verge of collapse. “Gordon, I want you and Alan to reinforce the structure here, here and here.” He pointed at a hologram of the dam. “Use a crosshatch deployment. These are the weakest points. Once they are secured, we will need a structural pattern from here to here to here. That will secure the wall until the water can be released slowly.”

“FAB, Virg.”

Virgil eyed him before reaching out his good arm and squeezing his brother’s shoulder. “Thanks, Gordon.”

The aquanaut smiled just a little, but the expression in his eyes told Virgil that their conversation wasn’t finished.

Virgil rose Two up on her struts and let his brothers out in the helipods, watching them for just a moment as they flew down and began pumping nanocrete onto the face of the dam. The wall would be secured, but if what he thought was the cause, the dam was doomed long term.

The question was why?

Pushing himself awkwardly out of his seat, he grabbed his molecular analyser and a portable scanner. “John, can you send the structural readouts to my HUD?” He fumbled with his helmet. This was a darn sight easier with two hands.

Muttered profanity and he secured it and turned to the hatch. Perhaps now he would get some answers.

-o-o-o-

Scott held back the urge to swear. The dam supervisor was an excitable man who just would not shut up.

“Sir, we will have the wall secured shortly.”

“Are you sure? You’re not using that stuff you used last time, are you? You are the reason we are in this predicament in the first place.”

“I assure you, sir, we know what we are doing.”

The first responder had ignored several accusations like this already. TB2 appeared on the horizon, moments later lowering to an efficient landing. The man kept babbling.

“I spoke to your engineer last time and he said exactly the same thing. Look what happened.”

“Sir-“

The two helipods launched from Two’s module and immediately the man upped his anger. “What?! You’re using more of that crap?!” The man, dragging his assistant, ran to the edge of the dam wall, staring down as Gordon and Alan started spraying nanocrete on the concrete face. Behind him, he heard Two’s hatch lower.

Finally. Virgil could slam this guy down with facts.

His injured brother had his helmet on and an armful of equipment. Ignoring the supervisor, Scott strode over to give him a hand. “Warning, Virg, excitable, blaming and annoying.”

His brother eyed him. “FAB.”

“You! You’re the one responsible for this travesty.” A blink as the man eyed Virgil’s sling. “What the hell happened to you?”

Virgil ignored the question. “Mr Windemere, the nanocrete cannot be responsible for this incident. It is just not possible.”

“Prove it! You refused to give us the composition. It is a substance unknown to science outside of your little business. How can I trust you?”

Scott flared at that. The nerve!

“We are wasting time. I need to ascertain the cause of the wall’s pending collapse. Please excuse me.” Virgil stepped around the supervisor and headed towards the walkway across the dam. Windemere hurried to follow, his assistant on his tail.

“What the hell are you doing? That is for authorised personnel only.”

Scott stepped in front of him, cutting him off from Virgil. “Mr Windemere, we will find the cause. Please let us work.”

“No!” The man puffed up his chest, but he was still too many inches shorter than Scott to have any impact.

Out the corner of his eye, Virgil was working his way along the span of the dam, scanner in hand. Over the edge and down below, the pods’ pumps threw liquid nanocrete at the wall in a reassuring rumbling percussion.

“Scott!”

Windemere was glaring at him. “Please excuse me.” He turned and strode towards his brother.

Predictably the supervisor followed.

Scott sighed to himself.

“I need to rappel down the face of the dam.”

Scott blinked. “Are you kidding me?”

“Scott-“

“Forget it. Tell me what you need and I’ll do it. You cannot do it one armed.”

“Scott...” His brother grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the supervisor. Barely a whisper. “I’m ninety-five percent sure this is sabotage. The dam is suffering from concrete cancer, a condition that takes longer to develop than this dam has existed. But I need proof. I need to scan the seal we made last time.”

“Can’t the pods do it?”

“No, the pods need to secure the structure otherwise this valley is going to be full of concrete and dam water in a very short time. It is literally crumbling under our feet.” Brown eyes fixed on him. “I need to examine it myself. This isn’t something you can do.”

Scott stared at him. This is why he didn’t want his injured brother on a mission. Because the man could not resist ‘helping’. “No. We will do it later.”

“There is no later, Scott! By this time tomorrow, this dam will all most certainly be rubble no matter how we try to reinforce it. I need to examine it now! We need the proof.”

He didn’t like it at all. If his lips thinned any further, he would probably lose one due to lack of circulation. “You are not rappelling down there.” He held up a hand as his brother opened his mouth. “I will secure you in a harness and lower you myself. Below Thunderbird One.” His brother glared at him. “That is the only way this is happening, Virgil, and I’m not happy about it in the slightest so take what I’m giving you or forget it altogether.”

Brown glared at him, but his brother subsided. Virgil was so two faced about injury. If any of his brothers, including Scott himself, had tried this, he would have shut them down faster than they could open their mouth. But Virgil? No, that was different. There was going to be a long hard talk after this.

Scott turned towards his ‘bird only to have Windemere jump into his face again. “What are you doing now?”

For the love of-

“What we have to do, Mr Windemere. Please excuse us.”

“No, I won’t let you sabotage this dam any further! You caused this. I know it!”

Scott turned on the man ever so slowly, intentionally emphasising his power and capability. Windemere cowered just a little, but attempted to straighten his spine regardless.

“Mr Windemere, this dam is endangering the lives of all the people in the town below. International Rescue will secure the structure to give those people the chance to escape and to give the water as much time as possible to drain away before this wall collapses.”

“Collapses?! What do you mean, collapses?”

Virgil took a step forward. “The reinforcing within the dam wall has corroded and, in the process, expanded, microfracturing the concrete throughout the structure. This dam is failing, Mr Windemere. What you are standing on right now will be at the bottom of the valley by tomorrow. Our priority is to release the water in as a controlled manner as possible and secure the safety of people downstream.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Scott stared at the man. Virgil eyed the administrator for one moment before turning away, his shoulder nudging Scott into movement. “I need your assistance, Commander.”

Right. “Mr Windemere, or you...” Scott indicated the man being dragged around by the windbag. “That water needs to be released as fast and as safely as possible. We could do it, trust me, we could.” It wouldn’t take John long to hack the dam’s systems or Scott to follow up on his threat. “But as per International Rescue protocol, you are required to take our recommendations in an emergency. I can get the GDF out here, in fact, I will have to anyway, so if you would like to save what little career you have left, I’d start draining that dam now.”

The assistant paled and took several steps back. Windemere pursed his lips and glared like his head was about to explode, but he turned away and stalked off.

Scott glared at his back. “Thunderbird Five, monitor output of the dam. I need to know if the water is being released fast and safely.”

“FAB.” John’s response was sharp enough that Scott wouldn’t be surprised if his brother or Eos were already in the dam controls.

Virgil was stalking towards Thunderbird One, shucking off his sling in the process.

For god’s sake. Scott strode after him. “What the hell, Virgil? Put that back on.”

“If you think I’m hanging off your ‘bird with one arm immobilised, you’re dreaming.”

For the love of...just give me strength. Scott drew in a breath and forced the words he wanted to shout at his brother back down his throat. “You injure yourself further, I’m setting Grandma on you. Home cooking and all.”

That hit home and Virgil shot an angry glare in his direction.

-o-o-o-

Virgil tolerated his hovering brother because he had to. It was understandable. He had to admit that if their positions were reversed, Virgil’s hair would be going grey and there would be words.

So many words.

But it had to be done. Virgil had the knowledge and the equipment and they had to find out why this was happening. It couldn’t be the nanocrete. It wasn’t possible. But to prove that in a court of law, they would have to expose the formula to public examination. That could release the technology to who knew who.

And Virgil had some suspicions.

But still, did Scott really have to fuss that much? It wasn’t like he was Alan or Gordon, really?

His big brother secured the extra harness to Virgil’s uniform, the inbuilt harness apparently not enough for a one-armed engineer or younger brother.

“Scott, it is secure.”

“Never hurts to be extra sure, Virgil. You of all people know that.” The man kept fiddling at the connections, checking they were safe.

“We need to do this today, you know.”

That earned him a blue-eyed glare. Another tug at the harness and his brother let him go. “Hang on with the arm that does work.”

Virgil returned the glare, reluctant to admit, that yes, his injured arm was a mess of pain and, no, he did not want to move it at all. His instruments hung from his belt for one handed access, but he needed his injured arm free in case of emergency.

His brother turned towards the cockpit. “Be safe, Virgil, please.”

A frown. “I will do my best.”

His brother didn’t answer, moving to his pilot’s seat. Moments and they were airborne.

It wasn’t often Virgil flew in One and this was one of the shortest flights in history, but he couldn’t help but feel his brother’s ‘bird roar beneath his feet. She felt so different to Two, almost alien, yet so...Scott.

It was almost as if being held by One, he was being held by his brother.

He sighed and shook his head. The ache was making him maudlin.

One shot up into the air, gliding smoothly sideways over the rim of the dam.

“Hang tight, Virgil, I’m opening the hatch and will lower you down slowly.”

True to his brother’s word, the harness gently lifted Virgil from his feet as the hatch below him yawned open. Far below, Gordon and Alan darted back and forth across the dam wall. Now moving into the second phase of reinforcement and creating a spiderweb of support across the whole structure.

Scott lowered him down toward the centre of the dam, where older nanocrete shone dully in the sunlight.

He urged Scott to move him closer, lower, a little more. There. He reached out first with scanner.

The nanocrete was stable. The same it had been the last time he examined the crack. As it spanned the internal width of the wall right through to the water beyond, Virgil had no doubt it was the strongest part of the structure, totally unaffected by the cancerous concrete around it.

As to that cancerous concrete.

Scans came up worse than any of the others he had managed already.

Hell.

The nanocrete was sitting in a fragile souffle of degraded construction material. Windemere was right. This was likely at least part of the source of the issue.

But it couldn’t be the nanocrete. The substance worked on an entirely different chemical level to that of standard concrete. There was also no way it could have caused the substrate to disintegrate...

Wait.

What the hell?

His HUD flickered back to the reading and zoomed in.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

He scanned further to the left.

Another one.

To the right.

Shit.

And a number of unrepeatable words.

“What the hell is going on down there, Virgil?!”

“Some bastard has used a microlaser to inject corrosive material into the dam’s concrete.”

And there was another one. Ultrafine bore holes reaching deep into the structure. So fine that only IR technology would have been able to find them.

They were everywhere.

Initially focussed around the original repair, but as he asked Scott to move his position, he found them at equal spaces all across the dam face.

To say it was suspected sabotage was one thing. To actually find the proof...

“Virgil, if I said those words, you’d be joining Grandma with the soap in cleaning out my mouth.”

“It’s worth it.” An awkward flick of his comms. “Thunderbird Five, can you access satellite imagery and the dam’s records and find out if anyone has been out on this dam face since we repaired it? I need everything you can find. There is no doubt that this is sabotage.” Scott was drawing him back up into the belly of his ‘bird, ever so gently.

“FAB.” John’s voice was tight.

Virgil felt like kicking something.

So many lives endangered. Why?

-o-o-o-

It was a question that wasn’t answered until long after the dam had been as secured as possible. Long after Thunderbird Two airlifted the last of the downstream inhabitants out of the way of the impending deluge. After Gordon and Alan had switched from helipods to bulldozers and built in as much flow redirection into the valley as possible. After Scott used One to airlift pallet after pallet of sandbags to assist the GDF in protecting the town.

After Virgil had yelled himself hoarse and had to be dragged away by that same older brother as Windemere refused to assist.

After John hacked the system and began the water release.

After Colonel Casey stepped in and arrested the dam supervisor.

After Scott dragged Virgil back to Two and yelled at him until he sat down.

“What the hell is going on with you, Virgil?” His expression was more worried than angry. “This isn’t you.”

He was in the medbay. Scott’s preference, despite lack of any injury. Well, more than he already had. That was enough. His arm ached abominably, despite having been returned to its sling.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Scott, but this situation puts us in a difficult position.”

“How?”

“Proprietary nanocrete. Only we know the formula and the properties. Accused of crippling a dam. We have proof it was sabotage. But only proof using equally proprietary technology, which we can’t share. Whoever did this knew exactly what they were doing. They have our asses over a barrel and one way or the other, to clear our names, we will have to divulge some of our technology. And to top it all off, the proof is crumbling as we speak. By tomorrow, there will only be our scans, using our technology, to prove that our technology isn’t to blame for this multi-million-dollar catastrophe.”

-o-o-o-

End Part Four

Part Five

[vivintsmarthousesecurity]

Vivint Home Security System

We ordered the Fundamental security system1 from Vivint that included a SkyControl Panel, security sensors, a Kwikset wise lock, a video doorbell, smoke and CO monitors plus an indoor cam. Later on, we added the Vivint Outdoor Camera Pro to our system, which we likewise information listed below. Vivint SkyControl PanelThe SkyControl Panel is the touchscreen command center of our entire Vivint security system.

On top of that, the SkyControl Panel is where we could arm and deactivate our security system, press a panic button to get in touch with the monitoring teams, and even see cloud storage. Although we installed our SkyControl Panel to the wall, it can likewise be utilized as a standalone item.

Wireless, the sensors connected to, you thought it, our SkyControl Panel so we got signaled when they went off, along with the tracking team. Vivint Ping Indoor CameraNow, if you haven't figured it out yet, we're sort of compulsive about security cameras, so naturally, we were very excited to check out Vivint's Ping Indoor Camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI0WRFxwFTw

Vivint Indoor Camera Video DisplayThe infrared LED sensors enabled us to see plainly in the evening, plus, as we pointed out in the past, we had the ability to speak to our guests through two-way audio. Vivint Indoor Web Cam Night VisionAlthough we didn't have any intrusions throughout testing, fortunately, we did use the two-way audio to inform other household members when dinner was prepared, which was much more civilized than yelling like regular.

Like Good Technology The Experience Is Magical

Rather, we needed to pay $5 a month for 2 week of cloud storage, all divided into 30-second clips. However, there was another choice if you want constant recording for 1 month, namely, Vivint Smart Drive, which costs $249. This was a bit costly, so we adhered to those clips.

So while it might not be the very best option for someone with animals, we were still total satisfied with Vivint's indoor cam, specifically in regards to video, audio and night vision. Vivint Outdoor Electronic camera ProNot to overemphasize anything, however Vivint's new outdoor camera is among the most remarkable models that we have actually ever evaluated out.

Yes, it has that clear, 1080p HD display screen that we liked in the indoor electronic camera, but on top of that, it also has 4K sensing units, which suggests two times as lots of pixels as 1080p HD.Vivint Outdoor Cam Day VisionIt likewise has HDR, which aided with light distortion outside. Include a good, 140-degree field of vision and the ability to zoom in 3 times in HD and 10 times digitally, and the electronic camera's video was more than clear enough.

Again, we stuck to the $5 a month plan rather than paying out $249 for the Vivint Smart Drive. Vivint Outdoor Webcam Pro Night VisionBut without a doubt the finest feature of the Vivint Outdoor Video Camera Pro was the synthetic intelligence. Unlike the indoor cam, the outside cam might distinguish in between people and other moving objects, indicating we only got notified when it detected an individual.

Additional Drawback

This was a bit much, specifically when our mail was delivered, but absolutely good for our outdoor security. Remember that the siren goes all the method approximately 85 decibels, about as loud as a snowblower, so the entire neighborhood could get included. In truth, a few of our next-door neighbors told us that they could hear it from inside their houses!On the other side, one drawback of the Vivint Outdoor Electronic Camera Pro was the reality that it needed to be plugged in.

However, once we got the correct extension cord, it didn't wind up being an issue. Overall, we're more than pleased with the Vivint Outdoor Cam Pro, although it's pretty expensive at $399. Nevertheless, this is the precise very same rate as the Nest Web Cam IQ Outdoor, which has very similar functions, so essentially, you pay for what you get.

Vivint's water resistant doorbell cam, which operates in temperature levels from 14 to 104 degrees Fahrenheit, retails for $249.99. This was definitely a bit expensive compared to the market average of around $190, especially when we saw that the cam's video display was only 720p HD, not 1080p HD. When you think about the fact that something like the Ring Video Doorbell 2 expenses $169 and has 1080p HD video, the Vivint Doorbell Cam seems a lot more costly, however it does have person detection, which the Ring Video Doorbell 2 lacks.

We didn't get notified when every automobile passed or every squirrel ran by; rather, just when people were at our door, and as soon as we got alerted, it was fun to speak with them through two-way audio. Although the video quality wasn't as clear as we would've liked, the 180-degree field of vision gave us the best possible picture of our front backyard, which we valued.

Vivint Smart Home Security Review App

Vivint Doorbell Video Camera Night VisionWhile the Vivint Doorbell Camera can be hardwired or battery-operated, we chose to hardwire it to our existing doorbell setup, however for those that desire wireless, the battery life is three to 5 years. Keep in mind that Vivint simply brought out a Doorbell Electronic Camera Pro, which repaired a lot of the issues that we had with the original.

It's completely cordless, and it even has detection for packages as well as people!Kwikset DeadboltIt's 2020; are you still getting locked out of your house? With a wise lock, we do not have to stress over that any longer. Vivint gave us a smart lock from Kwikset which we might either control from another location through the app or open by means of a numerical code, which was terrific the one time we left our secrets at the office.

And even though the lock is made by a 3rd celebration, we had enjoyable linking it to other Web of Things devices and creating automated actions. For us, that implied having the doors unlock when the smoke alarm went off, which brings us to our next point Don't leave a key under that mat.

Vivint also provided us a WiFi-connected smoke detector so that we 'd look out if it went off, even when we weren't house. It safeguarded a 35-foot radius, had an 85-decibel siren and a five-year battery life, and in our experience, it worked well, alerting us as soon as we burnt our popcorn (which is too simple to do, by the method).

Our Recommendation

Vivint deals an almost similar detector, other than that it spots carbon monoxide and not smoke. While we didn't in fact release hazardous levels of CO into the air (as it can be deadly if you consume enough of it), we were impressed that the detector is currently connected with other linked gadgets.

Basically, the CO detector does more than beep!Finally, Vivint offers a water sensor that prevents leakages, which we placed near our cleaning device (although it can be anywhere that leaks can take place). The water sensor is likewise wireless and has a battery life of three to 6 years. And that's it for Vivint's parts!.

" Don't DIY your smart-home security system-- the pros at Vivint are totally worth the expense" Dead-simple to run Feature-rich Highly adjustable High-quality video Impressive customer care Costly to get begun Some power cables need to be hidden with tracks Vivint has come a long method given that it presented its doorbell camera in 2015.

The difference, as I've experienced first-hand, boils down to the service experience. Frankly, I never thought I would need a security system. I grew up method out in the sticks of central Texas where it was prevalent to leave the front door opened all day. Call it willful lack of knowledge if you desire, but I've constantly been resistant to the idea that I ought to need to spend for security monitoring services.

The Research

It was then that I installed an Amazon Cloud Camera and got cozy with the comfort paid for by access to video of my home, on-demand, for a modest cost. After being struck by patio pirates who took valuable products a number of times last year, I started to wish for more security and peace of mind.

I quickly learned that a person Amazon Cloud Camera wasn't going to suffice. Bitten by the clever home security bug, I desired more security: Smart locks, voice control, door sensing units, window sensors, and cameras with night vision. When Vivint came along and offered to set up an extensive wise home security system for evaluation with the alternative to either eliminate the system later or leave it in location for follow-up reviews, I immediately concurred.

Vivint isn't the most cost effective wise house security option (you get a personalized quote based upon your requirements), however their service and app experience are exceptional. Through my experience with their system, I have actually found out both of those aspects are definitely crucial. Vivint outfitted my home with a doorbell electronic camera, one indoor electronic camera, three outside cams (all with night vision), 2 Kwikset SmartCode deadbolt locks, three door sensing units, 10 window sensing units, one interior movement sensor, two glass-break sensors, two smoke alarm, a flood/heat/cold sensor, and a touchscreen control panel.

The point here is that Vivint systems are created to supply smart house convenience along with security, and systems can be scaled from modest to almost obscenely fancy. Vivint expertly installs its systems for a flat fee of $99. I was seriously impressed at how quickly the two-person group managed to set up and set up my system.

Why We Recommend The Vivint Smart Home Service Monitoring Plan

All sensing units and door locks are battery-operated and communicate through Wi-Fi. Following their installation, the crew helped my housemate and I with personalizing the system and strolled us through its operation from top to bottom. vivint smart home security system. When they left, we knew precisely how to adjust all factory settings and make personalizations of our own, either from the touchscreen control board or Vivint's mobile app.

The crew left no mess of any sort. When they were gone, the only evidence of them having actually existed was a well-installed system. Vivint's systems aren't totally cordless all 3 video cameras plus the control board must be plugged into wall outlets for power. Vivint utilizes that plug-in point wisely, however, by making use of a house's electrical system for data in lieu of miles of ethernet cables.

The result is a stealthy system that avoids calling attention to itself. Power wires run through your home were neat, if not undetectable. If there's any barrier to entry with a Vivint wise security system, it's the initial cost. Vivint utilizes high quality components, therefore system constructs can get expensive in a rush.

If that's not of interest, the system will save 30-second video clips from any electronic camera for approximately 14-days as part of the service strategy explained listed below. These clips are activated by motion sensing units and other "notifies," and should be plenty for most users. The on-going service strategy is much more palatable.

Related Reviews

If you have a problem with your system's operation, it's most likely going to occur in the very first few months, and Vivint will look after it. If there's an issue with hardware, like a damaged cam, that will also likely happen early on if it will occur at all and Vivint will take care of that too.

Step up to Smart Home and the cost increases to $40/month. Add the Smart Home Video storage, and you're up to $50/month no contract required. If you're the sort who likes voice assistants, Vivint's system works with Amazon Alexa and Google Assistant gadgets. To put that in viewpoint, Comcast charges about the same month-to-month tracking fee for its Xfinity security systems, with a $30 contract rate for the first two years, bumping to $40 afterward.

We'll let you take that as you will. Is Vivint much better than ADT? Though I've not had recent experience with ADT, I will say that it's hard to envision being more happy that I have with Vivint's service. Because service and price are essential factors to consider, I'm inclined to motivate those with the means to pursue Vivint as their choice.

[anthonylora]

Flash Fiction Friday 29 - Golden Rings

This week inspired another standalone piece associated with my Catchers serial. This time I wanted to have some fun with Reba, the resident empath, and Eran Volos, the lizardman engineer. And you can’t have a good multiverse if one of the worlds in it isn’t loosely based on Sonic the Hedgehog a video game where you collect rings, right? Tagging the awesome @cawolters and @inexorableblob

Title: Friendly Competition Word Count: 1000 (love straddling that line)

This mission was downright insulting. Eran watched as his partner, Reba, jumped onto a colorful trampoline, whooping and hollering as she was propelled through the air. She reached out and grabbed a set of golden rings before sticking her landing on the small platform that was hovering above them. She turned around and held her arms out, her smooth almond skin lit up by the glow of the three rings around each of them.

“Your turn, E-man!”

Eran looked up at her and shook a clawed fist at her. “I told you not to call me that!”

Reba laughed. “You don’t like E-man, Scales, or Big V. What can I call you?”

“My name would be a nice start,” he muttered. They’d been sent to this world to catch a target that had spread these odd golden rings all over the lands. The locals started finding them and upon learning of the power they imbued, split into factions and fought over their possession. This odd industrial area with floating scaffolding was their first stop. Their secondary objective was to actually collect as many of the rings as possible and bring them back to HQ, a goal Reba seemed happy to fulfill.

“Whatever, just get up here already,” she said. “The view from up here is pretty good! I see another clump of rings for us to get!”

He rolled his eyes. “Just tell me where they are and I can retrieve them.”

“Do you see how many platforms and buildings there are to climb around here? It’s parkour central! We need to take advantage of it. It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t do fun!”

“Oh come on, we both know that’s not true. That stick up your ass isn’t nearly as big as you pretend it is!”

She wasn’t wrong, per se. Eran did enjoy the thrill of tripping someone in battle with his tail and the rush of endorphins whenever he figured out how to combine technologies from different worlds into one weapon. This carefree rushing from one place to another like a blithering idiot on too much caffeine? This was more Reba’s thing. No offense meant, of course. He was told he needed to be nicer. “My way is more efficient! We’re already behind schedule.”

Reba pouted. “Oh fine, be that way you party poo— oh shit, what’s that behind you?” She pointed, eyes blown wide open.

Eran turned quickly and pointed his stun gun ahead, taking the safety off. Approaching him was a slow-moving, four-legged robot, that at best, reached his knees. Assuming it was capable of jumping, it would likely pose a threat, but its chassis had a cutesy lady bug pattern and that did nothing to make it seem intimidating. Then he noticed on its back was a small bullseye and he immediately imagined someone, probably Reba, jumping onto that exact spot to squash and decommission it.

He sighed. Absolutely not. He refused to honor the rules of a world where the robotics engineers created weapons that could merely be stomped on to death. He looked over at Reba who was grinning down at him. “Stop pretending this world is anything other than joke.” She only laughed in response. He turned back around and fired three shots at the machine. The arcs of electricity trailed across its body, causing it to stop in its tracks and short circuit. It wasn’t long before it fell completely apart and two rings popped out of its remains.

“Nice! The bad guys drop them, too!” Reba yelled.

“Great,” Eran said. He stepped forward and reached for the rings, which expanded just enough to wrap their way around his wrist. He gazed at the rings, admiring the way they brightened his own scaly green arm. Just as he was about to look away, the rings blipped and a small number “200” appeared. The reports did say that the rings created some sort of “scoring” system to indicate who had the most power. A sense of pride and achievement churned in his stomach and he couldn’t help but wonder where the next set were.  He looked back up at Reba and for the first time noted the “500” that glowed above her head. He squinted in her direction. Not fair! He could have gotten more points if he wanted! In that instant, he realized his mistake, and quickly pushed down the feelings of agitation.

“Haha! I saw that!” Reba pointed at him. “You’re feeling competitive. You want a higher score!”

“What? No! Me?” He was so glad that he couldn’t blush. The stammering was probably not a good look thought. “This is your doing!”

“Sorry Scales, you know I can’t do shit to you from up here. This is all you, babe!”

Ugh. He looked at the trampoline and sighed. He ran forward and jumped onto it, feeling the rush of air as he shot up and landed next to Reba. “Whatever, just show me where the next ones are so I can show you how it’s done.”

He could imagine the smug grin on Reba’s face, so he did his best not to look at it. She pointed to a rooftop just past several more floating platforms. “There. A bunch of robots, too. They look bigger than the one you shot. Must’ve been a prototype. That or it’s to compensate the fact that we’ve—”

“Please don’t say ‘leveled up.’”

“Gotten more badass?”

“Only a little better. Let’s just go ahead. We don’t have all day for me to beat you.”

“Ooh,” Reba said as they both took off running. “I was going to be nice and give you a head start since I’m already ahead, but now you get nothing!”

Eran remained silent as he jumped onto the first platform. He pulled his gun out and started firing at the bots. He’d beat Reba and then get her to admit that he was right and none of this was fun. And he’d enjoy every second of it.

If you enjoyed that and want to read the actual serial, you can do so here.

[cloudybookash-blog]

TAKE BACKS ANSWER 1-50 BITCH

She was all specific until she opened her inbox and saw I dared her to answer all 50 and came back at me like this

The Basics

1.    Do you listen to music when you write?

Sometimes, but like… I don’t write now so dhfaoujfa a bitch wouldn’t know anymore.

2.    Are you a pantser or plotter?

Pantser turned plotter.

3.    Computer or pen and paper?

Both, true anarchy is having 8 drafts of the beginning done in pen and paper that you barely look at and writing the end scene in four different word docs.

4.    Have you ever been published, or do you want tobe published?

I want to be I guess? I MEAN I DON’T WRITE ANYMORE SO WHAT’S THERE TO BE PUBLISHED!?? :a manuscript of the internal warfare between my desire to write and being sucks into my ongoing maladaptive daydream about being a fully-fledged, critically acclaimed author.

5.    How much writing do you get done on an averageday?

Oh, nothing to phenomenal, about 0 words per day.

6.    Single or multiple POV?

Multiple, third person.

7.    Standalone or series?

Series, I don’t know how to end a story line… it just keeps going… on and on and on and o-…

8.    Oldest WIP

Probably some type of HP v Three Ninja’s crossover fan-fiction, it’s on a floppy disc somewhere.

9.    Current WIP

To paranoid to post ANYTHING about it online, despite the fact that no one gives a shit.

10.  Doyou set yourself deadlines?

PFFT, what do you think?

The Specifics11.  Booksand/or authors who influenced you the most

The usual suspects I guess? Stephen King, JM Barrie, Lewis Carroll, JK Rowling,  etc… But, tbh, it was movies that got me first into writing because I couldn’t fucking read back in the day.

12.  Describeyour perfect writing space

I feel like I’ve answered this before. Though now I think I’d change my answer to anywhere, as long as I felt I wasn’t going to be interrupted by people, the need to eat and/or drink, bathroom breaks, back and/or hand pains, or the ever-present creeping feeling that I should be doing something else. 

13.  Describeyour writing process from idea to polished

I watch a movie/read a book/hear a story, then I schedule it in for my next maladaptive daydream and re work it, then I start writing, realise I want to change the perspective, then I start writing that, then I realise I want to change character traits/relationship, then I start writing that, the I realise I know nothing about the world, so I start researching and brainstorming and once that happens I lose all will and motivation and go back to constantly reworking it in maladaptive daydreams that spiral so far from the original Idea I can no longer remember it and at this point I’m to scared to look at it again…

14.  Howdo you deal with self-doubts?

Not Well.

15.  Howdo you deal with writer’s block?

N O T      W E L L.

16.  Howmany drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Siri, how do you type the infinity symbol?

17.  Whatwriting habits or rituals do you have?

Bad ones.

18.  Ifyou could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you writeabout?

I don’t read, NEXT QUESTION.

19.  Howdo you keep yourself motivated?

…

20.  Howmany WIPs and story ideas do you have?

S̶̡͚̲̬͇͇̮͐͐̈́́͊̌̐̏͗̕̕͘i̶͙̣̽̃̀̎̑̎̋͠ŗ̶͚͓̦̭̥̟̗̩̤̖̅̌̓̊̀̃̅̍̆͆͜ͅi̷͕̇̚,̵̧̡̗̯̝̯̭̳͎͚̠̺̓̌̈̅̀̉͌́͑̊͑͠ ̷̰̠͙̅̆͐̔ḧ̶̢̝͔̞̮͔̣̥͍̪̘̝̹́͂̆̔̐̊̄̎͋̂͋̒͝ŏ̸̼̦͔̬̜̻͊͂̒͒̈́͑͋͋̽͊̕w̴̙̞̫̅̓̎͆̔̀̑̀̀͘̚͠ͅ ̷͚̪̻̥͉̼͕͔̃͗͂̉͒̒͋̾̏̒̒͑͘͜d̶̛̛̟̈́̋̌̈́͂̄̄̍͘͝͝ö̷̖̈͆͂̂̈́̄͂͐̒͘͘ ̴̣̇̊͋̃͒̾̀̌̉͊̉͑͝y̸̺̜̤͇̔̎̅͑̏̋̕ͅŏ̵̬̬͔̥̗̎̑͋̀̒͆̓̍̌͌ử̵͎͙̱̤͊̃ ̵̠̣͙̝̠̳̻͓́̾͆̓ͅt̷͍̣̘͕̣͎̣̏̀̃̔̑̏́͆̾͐̓͜͝͝y̴̡̧̛̥̼̯͚̝̗͗̎̈́̀̊̌̎͒̔ͅp̴͇͇̼̯̹̏̽̓̔͊̃́̍̑͛͂̒ě̶̹͚͔̼̰̤̦̟̇̉̒̚͘͘ͅͅ ̵̙͎́̈́̽͂̂̽͋̚ṭ̵̛̛͈͇̇̏̔̿̌̏ḩ̵̢͕̜̬̳̻͙̹̻̟̝̓̎̏e̸̡̝̫̩̣̦͉̺͎̺͈͑̀͋͗̄͊ ̵̠͖̉̎̀̿̎̽̾i̸̜̟̥͎͖͓̒̉̽̄̊͊͜n̶̲̥̦̺̤͂̐f̶͍̰̺͍̖̑̃i̴̯̯͌͒͑͛́̈́̀̄̄͛͘͝ǹ̶̢̜̙͚͖̞̟̻̙̱̲̠͛͐̾̓̑͊̐̋̇͗͘͠i̶̢̨̨̭̩͕͈̊͌̾̃̄̑̎̊̈́̋͘ť̸̝̼̹̟͇̼̖̫̙̲̖͆̎̽͒̎̇̍̐̌͗́ỳ̴̡̟̝̠̫̘ ̸̣̙̼͙͚̹̦̄̐̆̓̅͋̈͝s̴̤̤̑̓͊̽͌̐y̴̦̦̝̪͑̈́̔̓͒̄̕ͅm̶̧̫̠̗͎̱̲̝̬̼̭̘̓̏̍͒̋̀̄̄̇͠͝ͅb̶̨̛̞̭̰͉͛̿̾ō̶̖̤l̶͓̲͌̑̉̄͘͝?̶̨͕̪̿̍̒͒͘͝

The Favourites21.  Whois/are your favourite character(s) to write?

Character whose purpose I know from the get go, so there’s no dicking around about non-sensical things because you’re tryna fill the page.

22.  Whois/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

I don’t think I’ve ever comfortably or consistently written two character in the same room.

23.  Favouriteauthor

I usually don’t consistently enjoy someone’s work enough to like the whole person, I also rarely even care?

24.  Favouritegenre to write and read

Anything with fantastical elements, love that magic shit.

25.  Favouritepart of writing

At this point actually progressing in my story would be so miraculous I’d keel over and die.

26.  Favouritewriting program

?? I use scrivener, if that’s what you mean.

27.  Favouriteline/scene

28.  Favouriteside character

All my characters are MCs because I don’t know how to prioritise.

29.  Favouritevillain

Chillling, if I could get arOUND TO WRITING HER.

30.  Favouriteidea you haven’t started on yet

Bold of you to assume I don’t immediately abandon 5-10 year long projects in favour of something new and shiny.

The Dark

31.  Leastfavourite part of writing

The fact that I can’t thought-project my world into a word doc… Honestly, so not user friendly.

32.  Mostdifficult character to write

All of them.

33.  Haveyou ever killed a main character?

All of them.

34.  Whatwas the hardest scene you ever had to write?

All of them.

35.  Whatscene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

A̶̢̨̜̭͇̻̲͈͌̈́̏̿̇͊̑ͅͅl̴̡̤͈̫͈̊͐̈̽l̵̩͖͉͖͆ ̵̢̤͕̻̏̿͂̋̍̑̄́o̸̘̗͉̳̻̩͇͈̙̤͙̳̅̎̿̉f̸̛͈̯̫͇̣̜̬͍͉͈̜̅̑̾ ̷̛̲̰͒̀̏̾̀̍̚̚͜t̷̟͎̞̥͊̆̇̈́̀̋͝h̶̨̰̮̥̠̣͓̹̲̳̱̫̳̉̂ͅe̴͓̠͍̍͒̅̏̒͗̔̆͘ͅḿ̸̡̧̝̜͇̯̣͚͔̝̗̜͚͑ͅ.̸̧̫̥̪̠̟̠̭̮̞̰͈̙̂͂͌̈́̂̿ͅ

The Fun36.  Lastsentence you wrote

A̶̢̨̜̭͇̻̲͈͌̈́̏̿̇͊̑ͅͅl̴̡̤͈̫͈̊͐̈̽l̵̩͖͉͖͆ ̵̢̤͕̻̏̿͂̋̍̑̄́o̸̘̗͉̳̻̩͇͈̙̤͙̳̅̎̿̉f̸̛͈̯̫͇̣̜̬͍͉͈̜̅̑̾ ̷̛̲̰͒̀̏̾̀̍̚̚͜t̷̟͎̞̥͊̆̇̈́̀̋͝h̶̨̰̮̥̠̣͓̹̲̳̱̫̳̉̂ͅe̴͓̠͍̍͒̅̏̒͗̔̆͘ͅḿ̸̡̧̝̜͇̯̣͚͔̝̗̜͚͑ͅ.̸̧̫̥̪̠̟̠̭̮̞̰͈̙̂͂͌̈́̂̿ͅ

37.  Firstsentence or your current WIP

[insert charac name here]’s body slammed down heavily, face first

38.  Weirdeststory idea you’ve ever had

Honestly, they could all take the cake. I’m weird… have you ever seen me away from my writing resources? No. Have you ever seen any of my actual writing? No, that’s weird, I’m a weirdo.

39.  Weirdestcharacter concept you’ve ever had

Read the above answer^^

40.  Sharesome backstory for one of your characters

One character is thought of to be as old as time itself, maybe even older. He forgot his original birth name, came to a stable and asked one of the workers what their name was. Upon hearing it he went, “I like that, it’s mine.” and killed the worker and when the stable owner came to see what happened and asked the living character what their name was, living character gave the one belonging to the worker he’d just killed and walked off.

The Rest of It41.  Anyadvice for new/beginning/young writers?

I am in no position to be giving any such thing, honestly, the real question is has anyone got any advice foR ME?!?!

42.  Howdo you feel about love triangles?

Hard to do right, can’t write them myself because… (see answer to q:27)

43.  Whatdo you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

See where they’re going and if it’s not funky fresh: re-write the entire scene with them on a titanium leash

44.  Howmuch research do you do?

Way more now that I no longer write.

45.  Howmuch world building do you do?

Way more now that I no longer write.

46.  Doyou reread your own stories?

Way more now that I no longer write.

47.  Bestway to procrastinate

Never write.

48.  What’sthe most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

All of them, I’d love to be a souped-up, immortal child running around in a magical forest with my friends.

49.  Whichcharacter would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Either one of the chill ones or one of the so NOT CHILL ones, depends on how much drama I want at any given time.

50.  [Otherquestion—ask me anything]

??? Never ask me or my son a question ever again.

[footballffbarbiex]

Come On-A My House.

Hi guys, I hope you like this :) It can be read as a standalone or as part of this series. 

Request here. Masterlist here.  ____________________

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

She’s been over everything time and time again.

She knows everything is perfect and that nothing needs to change but she goes back through her home and tweaks everything. She straightens the tablemats, moves and cleans the glasses and aligns the cutlery. She moves the candles only to move them back to where they are. She sits in each of the seats and looks around. How does it look from this angle? From here does the sun go in your eyes?

Of course this doesn’t matter because by the time they sit down to eat, the sun will be inching across the sky anyway and will be in a different position.

Not that she was anticipating it but she’d washed and even ironed her bedding. She couldn’t risk her bed being anything but perfect either. She didn’t believe she’d be sleeping with him tonight but if she did? There’s no way she could lead him up here on dirty sheets. Her fingers stroke her jeans, knowing that she even booked herself in for a wax. Just in case. She rubs her face and laughs. “I cannot believe I’m actually debating sex with him.”

The knock at the door pulls her from her thoughts and she nervously smooths out her top. With a quick glance around, she makes her way to the door and swings it open. Roman stands in the doorway dressed in dark ripped jeans, a black v-neck shirt and a smile. His hair is messy and his eyes are shiny. “Nah, you’ve got the wrong house.” She shuts the door in his face and hears his laughter on the other side. She rests her head against the door as she smiles and tries to pull herself together before re-opening it. “You’re still here?” She tries to sound bored and inspects her nails. “Do I have to call the police and get you arrested for loitering on my doorstep?” “You think they’ll arrest me after what happened the last time we were both on this porch?” Roman’s eyes drop her lips. “I think you better come in then. The neighbours will get the wrong impression.” “I think we both know it’s the right one.” He grins at her as he passes her and closes the door behind him.

 She notices the bag thrown over his shoulder in his grasp. “What’s in the bag? A body?” “Damnit, now I’m gonna have to kill you too.” Roman laughs. “I thought it would be better to be prepared. I wasn’t sure how late I could stay so, I’ve brought some things in case.” “Expecting to get lucky?” She asks, thankful that she’s not the only one to have made any kind of preparations and holds her hand out. Roman pulls the bag over his shoulder and drops it into her waiting palm.

 She hangs it up and leads him into the large living room. “Make yourself comfortable. Do you want a drink? I’ve got both wine, spirits, beer and a few non alcoholic beverages. I don’t know if you can drink during season so I thought I’d get a few things to give you a choice.” Roman’s mouth drops open, his eyes widen and he holds his chest. “Wait. That sounds like you’re being…considerate. Caring almost. Are you the same girl I met in Ibiza?” She narrows her eyes at him. “Oh honey, that’s real cute and to think I was going to be nice to you.” “You’re not going to spit in my food are you?” “And waste my incredible cooking? You’re kidding right? I shouldn’t even serve you some up now.” “Don’t say that. It smells incredible.” “I’m a woman of many talents. Cooking is one of many. Now, what drink do you want?”

 --

Roman clears his dinner plate completely and all but licks his dessert bowl clean. Over dinner they’d talked, laughed and fallen into easy silence. Roman had amused her in ways she never thought possible. They’d started to discuss their childhoods, where they grew up and what they did for fun. They discussed their school years, which classes interested them and what they’d hoped for by this time when they were teenagers.

 They covered music, movies, TV shows that they enjoyed to binge watch. Books they’d read. Where they liked to go to escape the world. Roman had set up his iPhone and they’d listened to music, challenging each other to guess the song before the 10 second mark. With each wrong answer, they noted something down that the other had to do for them. Between doing a silly dance the next time they were in public or trying to slip a word into a public conversation; for her it would be at work and for him it would be during an interview. Her cheeks ached from smiling, her belly hurt from laughing so much and the corners of her eyes burned from wiping away the tears. “You’re pretty funny,” she says as she sits back and pokes him with her toe before taking a drink. “I do keep telling you this. I’m a catch.” “A catch who doesn’t want a relationship.” Roman’s smile falters for a second. “What do you mean?” “That’s what Marco said to me.” She hadn’t told him this. How when they first met Marco had taken her to the side and they’d had a chat. He told her Roman was a good guy, he was loving and loyal. She knew that, he’d shown her his protective side so that was nothing new. “But,” Marco had continued, “he doesn’t want anything serious. He’s not long since got out of a long term relationship and he’s not interested in another one. Roman likes having fun.” Whenever she caught herself beginning to think it could go anywhere, Marco’s words would ring in her mind. He doesn’t want anything serious. “What exactly did Marco say to you?” All humour has left Roman’s voice, his expression changes as he speaks and she feels guilty for bringing it up. Fuck, she’s ruined the evening. She takes another drink and puts her glass down before she fills him in. Roman listens, his cheek dipping in as he chews it from the inside. “He’s right.” He says finally, her stomach dropping as he confirms it. “Then it’s a good job we’re not dating then isn’t it?” She forces a laugh, her first one in his company. It sounds fake even to her. “About me getting out of a long term relationship.” He rubs the back of his neck and takes a long drink. “Oh man, I didn’t think we’d be having the exes talk so soon but I guess it’s been done now.”

 Roman sits back, one hand grips his glass and the other gently massages her leg. He licks his lips before he starts and finally looks back up at her. “I was in a relationship for four years and when it ended it didn’t end well.” He pauses, wonders how to go into it. The last thing he wanted was to come across as broken goods but there was something about her that made him feel that he could be open and honest. “I’ll be honest I was left heartbroken. I’ve never felt anything like it. It pushed me to do better with football. I trained more, looked after myself more. I thought if I exceeded at everything else I could fix myself somehow without addressing the real matter.” Her eyes are unable to leave him. He’s hypnotised as he watches his fingers as they dig into her muscles in the most amazing way. “I’ve dated yes. Marco thinks I’ve slept with every girl I’ve dated. I haven’t. I learnt quickly that I wasn’t able to get what I needed from sex. I’m not…I’m not a man whore as you’ve said previously about other guys. I don’t take pride in sleeping around and it’s not something I want. It’s not what I’ve done. But I like dating. I like the companionship you get. Marco shouldn’t have said what he said to you.” His eyes meet hers again.

She gives him a smile and reaches for his hand. “It’s fine. I’m not expecting marriage and kids from you Roman. You’re Roman Bürki, the goalkeeper playing for a big club and I’m just…me.” “You’re wrong. I’m just Roman. The goalkeeper part of me doesn’t define me or what I can do. Tell me who to love.” And for the first time since her, I feel like you actually see me. See who I am. He wants to add but doesn’t. “Promise me something Mr Big Shot. Never let them take that from you and if you feel yourself slipping away, pull yourself back to this moment.” “That’s what I like about you. You can be sarcastic, incredibly so, unbelievably funny but then you have this side to you. This side that shows when you briefly let your guard down.” She grins. “If you spoke to Marco now he would tell you a very different story I can assure you.” “If you’re lucky, I might let you see more of it. If he’d tell me something different, it would be because you’ve said something different to him.” She cocks her head to the side. “Call me forward,” she shrugs, “or whatever, but would you stay tonight?” “I haven’t put you off?” “Not even in the slightest.” Her eyes drop to his lips once more and again, she finds herself wanting to kiss him. “I’ll take your bag to my room if that’s ok?” Roman nods and she swings her legs over the side of the sofa and pushes herself up.

“Since you’re hoping to get in there, you may as well know where it is.” She heads out of the room, grabs his bag from the coat hook, turns on her heel and heads down the hallway to the bedroom. “I know my home may not be as big as yours, so it’s not as hard to get lost in the thousands of rooms that I’m sure yours has” she calls out as she drops the bag on her bed and turns, jumping as Roman stands directly behind her, “fuck you’re silent and creepy. Who do you think you are? Eddie Cullen?” she clutches a hand to her heart and doubles over. “Shit. Giving me a heart attack.” “I’m not into necrophilia so I’d rather you’re alive when I have you…whenever that may be.” “Yet you’re certain you will.” Roman steps towards her, his impressing frame towering over her small one as his fingers caress strands of her hair. He watches his fingers run the length of her locks, the way his digits glide over it until it drops from his fingertips. His aftershave fills her nostrils, a stunning deep woodsy with a hint spice scent that suits him completely. His eyes lock with hers suddenly; the intensity of his gaze catches her breath and she all but chokes on the tension. He takes an extra step, his hands on her thighs before pulling them upwards over the curve of her ass, over the small of her back and along each of her ribs to the top of the side of her bra through her shirt.

 She presses her chest into his instinctively as his fingers dance over her collarbones and up her neck. She lifts her face to his, her body reacting to him without her realising as she stands on her tiptoes to kiss him. He brushes his lips over hers, his lips parting as she closes her eyes but not before she sees his smile. She feels his beard brush against her jaw, his teeth nip at the skin of her neck before his lips are on her earlobe. “Yeah I’m certain I’ll get that chance. Just not yet.”

NEXT CHAPTER

____________________

Roman tag list:

@fcbarcelonababes @msgem @carlaimberlain @love-fury-passion-lita @imaweirdobutyoulikeit @pollaluci @evapr00 

[simplylove101]

Cynco

1) when they first intrigued me

Now obviously 3x11 introduced us to Gypsy in a big way & the second Cisco laid eyes on her, you can tell he was smitten. He is throughout the episode and honestly, it’s pretty adorable. So yeah, Gypsy flirting with him & him constantly trying to get her to go out on a date with him? Yeah, I was instantly intrigued by each interaction they had in that episode. They had a chemistry right away. They teased her coming back but I didn’t ship it yet cuz I didn’t know whether to trust that or not with the way they’d played my boy in the past. But still, I was definitely ready to ship if she came back. That almost kiss!!! 

Scene #1

Scene #2

2) when I started to ‘ship’ them (sometimes this is different if you think about it)

Omg 3x14 gave us some good stuff here! Gypsy coming back had me excited cuz I thought she was an interesting character who (haha) vibed well with Cisco. The second I knew I was shipping these two regardless if she was gonna keep coming back or not was their last scene of the ep. She spontaneously kisses him (which gave Jesse & Wally’s priceless reactions I had to get a cap of cuz LOL) & tells him that he couldn’t handle her, kisses him & walks away! That sass tho!!! And he just says “I wanna marry that girl” XD Priceless.

Scene

3) when I knew they were OTP status (as in there was literally no other ship for them I would want)

I mean, in truth it was before this but it’s because of this episode & moments like this I thought maybe they were really gonna include her more aww this heartfelt confession from Gypsy was adorable & a big step in their relationship. She wanted to get cheesy with Cisco!! hehe Also LOL at the end when she’s like “it’s like he doesn’t know he’s a dead man” XD

Scene

4) Favorite quote

“How did you vibe that I was in trouble?”

“Because we are connected, jack ass!” - 3x23 (Lol I just love how it sums them up well)

Scene

5) Favorite scene

I’m pulling a tie with this one cuz both of these scenes are perfect in their own way.. I love the date scene & Cisco saying he’ll always make it up to her. :’) And they look so pretty together. I also love the 4x04 bedroom scene with all the banter about her name & everything. And then enters her dad. LOL

Scene #1

Scene #2

6) Scene that made me cry

Their breakup!!! The acting in that scene got to me more than I anticipated. It’s because Carlos & Jessica Camacho were so game. The kisses & the tears. Like I said, it got to me. I’m gonna need the show to make this right someday.

Scene

7) Scene that pissed me off

Um, definitely them having her say that their long distance relationship where they barely saw each other was enough even though they loved each other & I mean… it wasn’t so much OOC. I get it with Gypsy’s character but it was really frustrating imo. They barely had screentime in S4. We didn’t really get to be invested in their relationship & then they broke them up like that. I just want my boy Cisco to have love & Gypsy was perfect for him I thought. When he teared up in this scene I wanted to hug him!

Scene

8) Favorite underrated moment

Lol I just love how they were in their own little world with her dad in the same room being all cutesy. “That’s my job.” “Oh, that’s right, it is.” hehe Not to mention he finds out her real name! 

9) Song that makes me think of them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuK6n2Lkza0

Hmm… I had to think about it. Cuz honestly, why I loved them, I’ve never really felt inspired to vid them actually. At least in a standalone vid. So I never had to go song searching for them today. And honestly, this one is kinda a weak choice but it’s fun & flirty like they were in those early S3 eps & well Gypsy does wear leather. lol (ignore all the ‘you were with another man’ & maybe it works. idk lol)

10) Favorite video of them

Not that there’s many to choose from. lol Saw like a total of 3 videos but this one was really well-made and also made me sad over their breakup all over again. bawl