#if not im gonna write it bc. yeah holy shit

[hilsoncrater]

im literally gonna...be sick to...my stomach. house and wilson wanted each other so viscerally in 3x19. all wilson had to do was barge into house's office and wordlessly kiss him. like. that's all it would have took. house wanted wilson to do that SO SO SO badly. i need to lay down

[nuclearr-wessels]

.

[scuopsie]

Things that make me happy as a fanfic author:

1) long and loud (all caps) comments

2) any comment

3) someone binge reading my work (as in getting the ‘You’ve got kodus!’ email but its the same username leaving kudos under multiple works)

[microwave-core]

Hello, I hope you are well.

Could you possibly write a fic where Cynthia has been instantly busy by faraway research partners summoning her for her professional opinion, fans wanting a picture or to battle, and always interrupting her and their readers day or hangouts whenever they go out? But eventually, Cynthia figures something out to make it up to the reader?

:)

Thank you!

Hello anon, I can most certainly get that done for you when I have the time! Ms. Cynthia is always welcome in my inbox.

I don't know when I'll get into it? Idk I'm almost finished with the scarvio dlc girls and can have that up for valentines, so I'll get to work on it sometime after valentines.

[indouloureux]

Dreaming about something with Eddie and size kink written by your talented fingers 🥺🥺🥺🥺 pretty please, thank you ❤️‍🔥

I LOVE U thank u for requesting <3 (i tried my best with the size kink bc i deadass have no idea how to write this im sorry)

18+ cw: daddy kink, praise kink, size kink, p in v, belly bulging. fem!reader

"aw fuck baby,"

his thrusts are slow and gentle; doting with every caress of your sensitive skins. you can feel his devotion radiate through every vein that exerts itself, every push and every kiss planted across your bare chest and collarbone, up until your face, before he captures your lips to his.

he gawps at the way his hand's bigger than yours, how he can capture it like a bird in a cage. how your heart would feel perfectly against his palm. and when he looks down, he sees his cock bulge on your navel.

"h-holy shit," he grunts, pressing a kiss in the middle of your collarbone. "baby, look at that."

eddie takes your hand and presses it against the bulge. you mewl when he hits that blissful spot over and over again, rapture cascading over you like a waterfall. "my god, eddie."

"uhuh," he fucks hard. "i am your god." he kisses your tears away. "doing so good for me, baby. taking it like a good girl. gonna be a good girl for daddy?"

you nod. "y-yeah."

"gonna take daddy's big cock and cum? let him fill your small hole up?"

his body towers over you, his thick cock splitting your poor bullied hole open. eddie rubs your clit mercilessly, kissing every inch of your small neck that his big lips claim. and god, the things he'd do to you.

you nod at his words. and eddie smiles. "atta, baby,"

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

[heartss4matthewq]

NOTHING TURNS TO SOMETHING (pt.2)

contains: smut, dom!chris,choking,fem!reader, fluffy at the end

———————————————————————

“what?”

“you heard me”

our mouths smashed into eachother with no hesitation

“i want you, chris”

“all you had to do was ask” he smirked at me

my hands were tugging at his shirt signaling what i wanted

“so, so needy”

i whined in response

in one swift motion my bottoms were off and chris was on top of me

chris pressed his hard-on onto my clothed pussy earning an impatient whine from me

“fuck, ma you see what you do to me?”

a quiet moan escaped my lips

“chris- please-“

“please what?” he teased

“touch me chris, make me yours”

he pushed my panties to the side and ran his fingers through my slick folds

“you’re so pretty like this under me, y/n” he said while smirking and looking down at me.

as he pulled his boxers off, his dick sprung out of his pants and hit his stomach.

“thats not gonna fit chris” i said while laughing lightly.

“I‘ll make it fit”

i lifted up slightly so i could take my underwear off.

he started kissing my neck and pulling off my shirt.

I moaned in his ear and kissed him once again.

chris looked so good in this state.

“so pretty, baby”

He looked at me with lust-filled eyes grabbing my waist

he ran his dick through my folds slowly pushing inside my walls.

“Oh- oh fuck so tight”

i bit my lip trying to hide the moans that were trying to escape.

“i wanna hear your pretty sounds, baby”

He grabbed my boobs with both of his hands and then sucked on them

with that i let out a loud moan, hoping matt and nick weren’t hearing us.

“Yes, fuckkkk! right there”

He started to gently rub my clit with his two fingers.

“i c-can’t holy shittt”

the sounds of his grunts and me gasping for air fill the room.

“take it baby” he groans out wrapping his hand around my throat

“baby” i clenched around him at that word

he pumps himself as deep as he can go in me.

“mmh~ fuck c-chris” i breathe out.

he smirks to himself.

he thrusts himself into me faster and rougher hitting my g-spot almost every time.

my moans grow louder the closer I got, it’s like music to chris’s ears.

he knows i’m close so he starts rubbing my clit again.

i start forming incoherent sentences because the pleasure is so overwhelming.

“come on baby i know you’re close, cum with me”

with that, i let out a loud moan releasing all over chris.

chris was still riding out his high. thrusts getting faster and sloppier

“shittt” he pulls out and cums all over my stomach

he rolls over and lays beside me.

“fuck chris that was so good” i said laying on his chest.

“so i’m not bad at sex” he says chuckling

“yeah mya doesn’t know what she’s missing out on tbh”

we got cleaned up and headed to the shower

we got into some pjs and chris handed me a shirt and some boxers.

Then we got into bed again.

“Do you like wanna cuddle?“ he asked me with this cute smile on his face.

“yes of course.“

We both started to get really tired and fell

asleep.

10:45 AM

The next morning i woke up in chris bed without him.

“what the fuck” i whispered to myself

just when i was going to get up nick and matt came through the door

“oh hey, thanks for cheering my brother up last night” matt said with a wink

“oh my. u heard that?” i said a little embarrassed

“yeah we fucking did literally threw up”

“oh umm yeah anyway where’s chris”

“he went out to the store or some shit it’s way too early so i said im not driving him anywhere so he got an uber i guess”

“i’m back” chris had flowers and a poster board that said (be my girlfriend?)

“oh and here’s apology chocolates for you and matt”

———————————————————————

i hope this was good bc i genuinely can’t write smut. SORRRYYY that it took so long to post anyway should i make a series??

[smashtbh]

are you down to write for sub top reader x billy where reader cums but billy won’t stop riding him until he finishes too so reader is overstimulated. dom bottom billy ofc

Manners

Billy Hargrove x M!reader | fem aligned + minors dni!

not my gif!

CW: swearing, smut (lesgoo), subtop!reader, dombottom!billy, reader has a dick, sprinkled degradation, overstimulation, billy being a pillow princess in the first half, cowboy baby, refractory period? what’s that?

he/him pronouns are used to refer to the reader.

a/n: for some horrible reason i’ve had insane writer’s block so i’m going to make porn bcs that’s what i can do also this isnt proofread sorry 🤞🏽

i gotta stop smoking before writing holy shit i feel like this is all over the place im sorry i just get so much more inspo when im high 💀

There’s drops of wetness falling onto Billy’s chest, moving with his quick breathing. Y/N has been thrusting in and out of his ass for what feels like forever now. They’re both sweaty, but Billy honestly can’t tell if the liquid that’s falling on him is sweat or tears.

“Baby,” Billy calls out.

“Mmm — “

“Just like that, ooh fuck.” Billy’s smiling up at Y/N who lets out little grunts after every thrust. “You feel so good.”

Y/N lets out a humorless laugh. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Billy tweaks his own nipple. “Done so soon?”

“Billy, I came twice already.”

“That was in my mouth they don’t count.” Billy clenches around him. “I haven’t come yet.”

“I jerked you off in the car!”

“Doesn’t. Count.”

Billy kicks Y/N ass with his heel. “C’mon, stud.” He bites his lip. “Fuck me.” He tries to get some leverage to grind onto Y/N’s dick.

“Chill out, oh god.”

“People usually just call me Billy — “ Y/N slams a hand over his mouth to shut him up.

He’s thrusting in a nice slow, even pace. Y/N’s been close to the edge for a while, but he’s sure he can hold out for the rest of the night. He’ll be fine.

That is, until Billy licks his hand. And Y/N knows that he’s going to do something. Something with Billy is normally a lot.

Y/N moves his hand and lets Billy talk. Bad mistake. “I wanna ride you.”

Y/N’s hips stutter a bit. “You can’t just — say that.”

“I just did.”

“Billy I’m gonna fuckin’ — “

“Just let me ride you. Please?” Billy does his best puppies eyes and grabs Y/N’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

Y/N sighs, louder than needed. “Fine.”

“Yay!” Billy exclaims, moving up to kiss his cheek.

Y/N is now laying on the nest of pillows he made for Billy an hour ago. He’s pretty comfy, watching Billy kiss down his chest. He puts his hands behind his head.

“You look gorgeous like this.” Billy whispers, staring at Y/N.

“Thanks,” Y/N mutters. “Now get to it, pretty boy.”

Billy laughs, kisses Y/N’s stomach one more time, and proceeds to pornagraphically lick Y/N’s shaft.

“You — you are one nasty motherf-fucker.”

“Nasty, huh?” Billy says, sucking on the tip.

Y/N grunts, trying to keep his hands behind his head. Trying to keep his cool.

Billy finally sits up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He straddles Y/N’s stomach, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Love you.”

Y/N smiles, turning his head to kiss Billy’s lips. That’s all the answer Billy needs.

He shuffles his legs back, still kissing Y/N. Billy whines against him when Y/N’s dick catches on his rim. “Fuuuuck, this is gonna be s’good.”

“Hope so.” Y/N whispers against him as he thrusts up, fucking into Billy.

They both moan loudly, Billy hiding in the space at Y/N’s neck.

“Anh — let me.. let me move, baby.” Billy sits up again, crying out at the new angle. Y/N’s hips thrust up, making his eyes water and his mouth open in a silent scream.

So fucking good. Is all Y/N can think.

Billy starts to lift himself up, balancing on Y/N’s stomach. He slams back down, making him clench around Y/N’s cock. “Billy, I’m close.”

“Where’s — your manners?” Billy asks with a particularly hard drop.

Y/N’s hands fly from behind his head to grip Billy’s hips. “I’m fucking — “

“Yeah,” Billy clenches around him again, “you’re fucking me. C’mon, come.”

So Y/N does. Almost passes out doing so.

He’s trying to control his breathing, but he’s twitching with overstimulation because Billy is still bouncing on his fucking dick.

He’s moaning and his voice is a pitch higher, it’s raspy probably from the blowjob earlier and he’s riding the shit out of Y/N.

Y/N’s hands snake up to his chest, tweaking his nipples. “Auh — oh fuck.”

The sound of Billy fucking Y/N’s come deeper and deeper into himself is almost enough to make Y/N come again.

“You’re still so — fucking — hard.” Billy grunts.

“Please tell me you’re close.” Y/N gasps, letting his hand caress Billy’s cock.

“Mm, keep your h-hand there and I’ll — ohh.” Billy doesn’t know whether to thrust into Y/N’s hand or slam himself down onto his cock. “Yeah, touch me you fuckin’ whore.”

A few more seconds of Y/N jacking him off and Billy’s coming with a scream that Y/N interrupts with a hand on his mouth. Can’t wake the neighbors again.

Billy is still grinding on Y/N’s dick, laughing at the loopy look on his face. “Two loads, you’re a slut L/N.”

Y/N doesn’t remember coming again, but he moves a bit and feels the come start to drool out of Billy’s ass. There’s a lot more than there was before.

“Says you.” Y/N laughs, gesturing at the come splattered on his stomach.

Billy just smiles, leaning down to kiss him. “Your little slut.”

Y/N twitches. “Do not.”

Billy lifts himself up, letting Y/N slip out of him, then falls beside him. “Night.”

“Billy, it’s 3 in the afternoon.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

likes, reblogs, & comments are appreciated!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Friend. F r I e N d. Your smol brother Razor hcs made my insides flippyflop. I beg, I plead...

My daughter QiQi? Holding onto my sleeve while we go picking herbs so she knows she can get home? Getting her a little bag with a notebook and pen so she always has memory?

SAYING THE LINE FROM WHERE THE WIND LEADS AND ASKING FOR A HUG?!

Scolding Baizhu for letting her go herb picking when he knows she probably won't remember the way home?!?! Because Archons man like NO.

Hello!! Flippyflop??!! Over my writing ??!! 🥺🥺 <3

AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK... WE SHALL DO... THE OTHER CHILD THAT NEEDS A CARING ADULT!!

Also srry im rlly slow getting to yalls asks i promise it will come and i love u all for giving me asks <33

(*´▽)ノ✨️ NOW LETS GO ! ! ✨️

(Now before yall come at me, I am aware Baizhu does care about her, but BUT, he still is studying her/canonically has ulterior motives, and lets her pick herbs when she may not be able to find her way back, also he doesnt strike me as the type to be super affectionate/parental, as cute as it is to write him that way)

What a b l e s s e d ask, this is so cute i love all the kids in genshin their adorable

So... im kinda a consistent Sagau writer, and i love requests like this! But also, im not sure if u guys want me to still apply Sagau/Isekai setting to these requests on top of what was initially asked??

So i will pretty much always make all requests will be SAGAU/ISEKAI Reader based, UNLESS YOU STATE OTHERWISE IN THE ASK!!

Oh Qiqi, another child product of ✨️traumatic events✨️

(Future me after finishing this: oh god what monster have I unleashed upon the world, upon the sagau tag, upon my innocent followers...)

Damn ur lucky u didnt land in Jueyun Karst or nothin

Or on one of the many mountains/cliffs all over Liyue

Its honestly more a shock u arent on a mountain bc theres so many,,

Ur pretty close to Liyue Harbor luckily, not in town, but sort of at the base of Mt Tianheng by the looks of it, almost behind it

Its about sunset too, WOW

Liyue Harbor is hella bigger than in game, holy fuck its actually a huge port city

Should u go into the city??

Ur not sure, do they speak English??

...Wait u dont got a single mora

U cant even get an inn rn RIP

?? Should u just? Find a cave?? To sleep in??

But what about monsters??!

(Call Xiao? Nah he'd freak tf out on u, Shenhe maybe? She is the only option u can think of that seems like she would possibly take in a random homeless traveler from another world, mostly bc she could beat ur ass no matter what)

So,, Shenhe? Maybe? Ur still not sold on the idea but maybe u could gather something out here to sell on a street corner?? Or to Wanmin maybe for fresh ingredients?

Yeah sure why not,

With that, u just wander around the area, checking out all the plants and animals

The fennec foxes are so adorable

Oh shit some mint and sweet flower, finally

Oh hell yeah a sunsettia, u got food now 💪

U hold onto some of it to sell (including a low violet grass hell yeah)

Crunchin and munchin ur way thru Liyue now, it isnt until u find a particularly wooded area that u hear ur first sign of human life

...

Stand corrected,

Unlife...?

A soft hum, almost a lullaby, comes from Qiqi as she picks up other flowers youve never seen before (ooo new liyue plants)

Should u just leave? She seems busy and u dont wanna distract her bc she might forget to go back to her task..

Wait a minute.

On the other hand,

Now you can finally achieve one of your many goals in Genshin that you couldn't as a player.

Help Qiqi collect herbs and guide her back,

And scold Baizhu. >:)

.

(whats he gonna do?? call the milieth on you??? for some rude person who doesnt like the way he makes a child wander off, who has memory issues and cant find her way back??? thats what you thought)

.

Approaching the tiny zombie girl, you purposely step on a branch to let her know ur there

...she doesn't even flinch, instead she vvveerrryy slooowwwlllyyy lifts her head up from her bent position

Her big doe eyes 🥺

They dont look empty, or dead just kinda dreamy

She tilts her head, the adepti paper covering an eye

Qiqi: "...do I know you? ..you feel... familiar..."

Oh this is crazy, she sounds exactly like in game, but instead of in a screen, her voice is in front of you

You respond "Oh I don't think so?" You introduce yourself,

"Are you alone out here? The sun is setting..."

It didnt strike you until now, but the zombie girl is so... so... tiny

OMGGGG😫💘

I mean, you knew the kids were small, but not 5-6 year old small!!!

Qiqi stands, and you see her holding a basket in the crook of her other arm, full of greenery

(some u recognize like violet grass, horsetails, but others are completely new, wow u gotta wander around Liyue after u find somewhere to sleep tonight to check out how much more fleshed out it is irl...)

The little cryo user is the picture perfect image of sweetness 💝✨️

The paper falls to the side, and both of her gentle pink eyes look up at you (💔)

Qiqi answers slowly, "...I messed up my routine, I forgot to get herbs this morning...so I couldn't make the medicine for today... I'm getting them now instead.."

She turns to the right, then left, and blinks a few times (💔💔💔)

She kinda looks like she forgot the way back,, you figure you might as well ask

"Do you want help getting back to town? The pharmacy right?"

Qiqi looks back at you, and nods, "Okay...thank you..."

And

And!!

She takes YOUR HANNNDDDD 😫😫😫💔💔💔

Her small fingers are cold, and they wrap around only two of your fingers

SOBBING

Trying to hold the squeal inside urself, you turn and begin to walk off together, following the path around Mt. Tianheng into town

♤

HELL YEAH QIQI TIME LETS GOOO

After hearing about your homeless situation, Qiqi and Baizhu offer the guest room for the night, also partially as a thank you for helping Qiqi (thank fuck theyre that nice)

After talking on the way over,

Turns out that Baizhu lives just out of town of Liyue, (not found in the game, was is it with not showing characters houses...) that way he has some greenery around his house, and has a garden out back :D 🌱

Baizhu just gets this strange familiar feeling from you (it almost reminds him of,, seeing a regular customer that has been to see him hundreds of times...) that convinces him to offer you a job at the pharmacy, in exchange for living in the guest room for awhile ! ! WOO

MISSION 1:

FIND SOMEWHERE TO SLEEP + GET A JOB, COMPLETED

♧

Now MISSION 2:

GET MONEY, GET FOOD, SCOLD BAIZHU, LOVE QIQI

Literally on the first day out ur like,, Baizhu.

My boss, my friend, my buddy, my homie, my guyyyyy

U gotta let me go with Qiqi from now on, she will literally get lost hoe. 😐

Tapping ur foot at him and everything,

He's a little intimidated tbh bc ur so upfront about it, and agrees

U lowkey shame his parenting (and he actually feels quilty wow)

WITHIN THE FIRST COUPLE DAYS SHE ALSO SAID THIS!!

"Since we first met, I have had a warm feeling inside. Not the kind of warmth that makes me feel rotten. The other kind of warm. The one that happens inside my heart. Thank you. I am happy. Sadly I only recognize the current you. If I forget you... No. I will order myself to remember you."

AHHHHHHHH PERFECT CHILD <333

(Once again, if u read my Razor post, another person who can't quite articulate what you are as the Creator, but just has a feeling about you that ur cozy and safe :')

◇

SO QIQI CANONICALLY HAS A NOTEBOOK ALREADY!!

(U help her press flowers in it to both leave inside as a pleasent surprise when she forgets about them, and attach some to the front 💖)

And SHE HAS A SCHEDULE.

In the morning, she goes herb picking, then makes medicine, and then does stretches at the end of the day before bed

(At least im pretty sure thats it, it was like 3 things so she could remember easily)

ON LIKE,, THE FIRST FEW DAYS WITH HER, SHE STARTS TO FOLLOW U AROUND MORE AND MORE LIKE A LITTLE DUCKLING

And she even says "...I started memory training exercises recently. So don't worry, I won't forget who you are." 🥲💘

◇

Qiqi seemed excited to tell u all the plants u dont recognize and what they do in medicine,

U mostly think that bc she walked and talked a little faster,

her emotions arent super obvious bc apparently her facial muscles arent super flexible... :/

(she later on after she trusts you more, will sometimes let u rub her little cheeks and massage her face to let her have more range, she looks like a content kitten those times 😭😭)

But when ur not out and about Liyue's nature with Qiqi,

U do little odd jobs around Liyue, like dog walking, delivering peoples' medicine, and u even registered w/the Adventurer's Guild so u could take on small commissions :D

U used ur money to buy ingredients to cook food for urself and the household (bc Baizhu cant make anything besides soup and tea apparantly srsly how is this man alive)

And thru a series of trial and error (and consulting Xiangling..)

U made coconut milk!!! ✨️🥥🥛

Qiqi loved. It. Every. Time.

She's not tall enough to reach the kitchen counters w/o a stool, but she can peek her little head over it and put her fingers on the edge, which she does everytime u make it 😫😫🥺🥺

She has a 6th sense for everytime u make it, no matter where she is in the house/nearby lol

It was also one of the things she wrote down in her notebook that she didnt wanna forget LMAO

Next to a reminder that she knows you + other facts abt u, is "can make coconut milk"

You can bribe her with it too lol

QIQI BEST KITCHEN HELPER

Shes already Baizhu's assistant, so she is great at cutting, chopping, and prepping ingredients

She insists on helping u everytime, she'll even delay her morning routine for u to make breakfast <3

(U also make sure to remind her to eat and hydrate consistently, bc thatd be hard af to keep track of w/ memory issues, i would know 💀)

◇

U also used ur money to buy clothes for urself and her!! <3

Also apparently u still have access to the character menu? And ur inventory?? And quests???

U CAN UPGRADE QIQI

(YESS YESSS- MAKE HER THE STRONGEST CHILD IN THE WORLD, GODLIKE STRENGTH THE IMMORTAL UNDYING QIQI AGENDA HAHAHAHA)

(Her outfits show up in her outfit screen!! theres just kinda a hologram button hovering over her chest at all times..)

She seems rlly fond of upgrading her, her weapon, and artifacts bc she likes to be a stronk 💪girl to protect ppl she loves aw <3

(SHE SAID SHE WAS HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT U BETTER THE FIRST TIME U ASCENDED HERRRR 😭💘

She also likes to help u out with commissions too, it brings her some variety in her day that shes become fond of!!

(Shes also become fond of you and all the exciting things ur doing)

AND

Ur quests menu is rlly helpful for you but also her!! U just gently reroute her or remind her everytime she needs it :)

(she has slowly gone from asking you what she forgot/what she was supposed to be doing, to just... LOOKING UP AT YOUUUUU FOR THE ANSWERRRR W/O SAYING ANYTHINGGGGG 💔💔💔💔💔💔)

◇

Bc u got jackshit all else to do in ur freetime, other than exploring, u started picking up some hobbies thatll benefit the both of you!

U bought some fabric and whatnot to make Qiqi a backpack!! So she doesnt have to carry around the herb basket anymore

(the ones being sold were too expensive, and werent quite right for her anyway, but u did stab urself enough times that Baizhu gave u bandages..)

You give it to her on her birthday!! (she also remembered yours!! She gave u herbal medicine and a necklace of gemstones she handmade like noctilous jade and cor lapis cries)

It has lots of pockets, bc Qiqi also likes to get interesting rocks or non-medicinal flowers to give you while yall are outside <3

She loves the backpack, u saw her make the

♡tiniest♡

Smile ever, which made it even cuter to see

(She also just, held it to her chest the whole day 😭)

◇

ALSO BC SHE STRIKES ME AS A SLOW BURN TYPE OF PERSON TO LOVE SOMEONE (idk if u get that feeling but thats what it seems like to me esp with her memory needing time to remember a new person, she apparently canonically cant always remember Baizhu's face??)

SO A RANDOM DAY AFTER ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF, YALL WERE ABOUT TO GO HERB PICKING AGAIN AS USUAL,

WHEN SHE TOOK UR SLEEVE AND JUST,, STAYED THERE THE WHOLE TIME,,

EVEN WHEN SHE WAS HERB PICKING-

🫂🫂🫂

Was that your soul leaving your body? Maybe 🤷‍♂️

But when yall r in a crowd of Liyueans and tourists, she straight up latches onto ur hand like a vice grip

She WILL NOT lose you, and ur holding back just as hard, you WILL NOT lose ur amnesiac child!!!

She likes to come into town with u when u go bc while shes not a fan of crowds, she can deal with them a lot better when ur there 🥺

Plus she wants to be able to look out for you!!

SUCH A SWEETHEARTTT

When u asked why she didnt like crowds the first time yall went SHE SAID

"Some people want to take advantage of me. Others are terrified of me. But you... You are not like any of those people."

QIIIIQQQIIIIIII MY BELOVEDDDD CHILDDDD 🥲🥲🥲😭😭😭😭

(ALL OF THESE ARE CANON VOICELINES BTW EXCEPT FOR YALLS FIRST MEETING AT THE TOP!!!)

♡

Ok so she was already pretty strong before you, but now esp since u started upgrading her-

Qiqi is hella strong and has great stamina

U saw this in action in real time when Hu Tao was strolling down the path near where yall were herb picking off to the side

Hu Tao and Qiqi like... locked eyes-

U were looking down at plants but noticed Qiqi not moving, and looked up to see the most intense staring contest ever LMAO

AND LIKE SOME KIND OF LIKE BIRD OR SQURRIEL WHEN THEY LIKE FREEZE AND THEN BOLT WHEN U ARENT EXPECTING IT THEY ARE OFF LMFAO

QIQI IS RUNNING FOR THE HILLS, ITS LITERALLY INSANE TO WATCH HER BE SO FAST AHSHAKKALDFH

HU TAO IS ALSO FAST BUT LIKE THERES STILL A GOOD AMOUNT OF DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM-

AS U FINALLY GET OVER THE SHOCK, U RUN AFTER THEM LOL

THEY QUICKLY OUT PACE UR SLOW ASS AND UR HUNCHED OVER DYING AND JUST BEFORE THEY GET OUT OF RANGE U HEAR-

"YOU HAVE TO LET ME PUT YOU TO REST, DON'T WORRY YOU'LL LIKE IT DOWN THERE THE DIRT IS NICE AND COLD!!"

AND AN INDIGNANT "No!"

LMAO HU TAO GIVES UP 2 HOURS LATER, AND QIQI WAS LITERALLY RUNNING AND CLIMBING THE WHOLE TIME LMFAO

◇

SO IDK IF YALL SEEN IT BUT THERES A TRAILER OUT ABOUT XIAO i think??

AND AT ONE POINT QIQI CANONICALLY SAYS SHE CARRIED HIM WHEN HE WAS PASSED OUT BACK TO THE PHARMACY 💀

U WERE THERE WHEN YALL FOUND XIAO

it was kinda shocking to finally have ran into him (bc u figured there was no way he would come down to see some rando human, even if u had almond tofu)

AND HE'S PASSED OUT??!!?!?!

Top ten most disturbing images: Xiao face first on the ground, out of it

And while ur like panicking "omfg how tf am i gonna carry this mf all the way back to the pharmacy, omg what happened, oh jesus this is insane its literally XIAO and he's PASSED OUT-"

Qiqi in the background like, "hup"

And just arranges him in a piggyback carry, his legs and arms sticking straight out in front of her, his ass almost touching the GROUNNNDDD😭😭😭

You: *shocked pikachu face meme LMAOOO

◇

I LOVE THAT THIS IS CANON OHMYGODTHIS MIGHT BETHE FUNNIEST SHIT OUT OF GENSHIN LORE/STORY YET

♤

Bonus: Zhongli has been going in-fucking-sane trying to locate where u are lol, Hu Tao literally made him take a few days off bc he was pacing around the harbor so much 😭

He always seems to get to where you are, just as you leave the area (apparently Qiqi's deathlike presence throws off ur very full of life one)

Literally as soon as you landed (woke up?) On Liyue soil, he was hyper aware of you

The other adepti are searching the rest of Liyue just in case ur someone where else

Lol wonder how long it took him to realize u were just workin at Bubu Pharmacy LMAO

Tell me what to write! :) ♡

Reminder: A 100+ Followers celebration POLL!!

HOLY FUCK!!

OML

OMFG

SATAN ON A STICK-

THIS IS SO LONG 😭????? WHAT HAPPENED

THIS THING AS LONG AS A FALL INTO THE ABYSS

HELL-

WHAT THE FUCK

WELL NOW I KNOW WHY IT TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG TO POST ANYTHING FOR A FEW DAYS BC THIS IS A FREAK OF NATURE

I ALREADY MADE THE LAST ONE TOO LONG AND NOW HERE WE ARE CRYING

I hope u enjoyed this fucking monster anon sob-

oh my god im actually shocked you guys, i just scrolled up and down this thing-

I can't even like, flick it once and let it scroll really fast and reach the top u know what i mean?? 😟😰🙂🙃🥲

I just,, i had so many ideas, and as i typed and tried to get them all down i-

uh,, aNyWaY,,, enjoy yalls week guys...😟😃 distantsobbing

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡ the beloveds ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza

[cranberryjuice-posts]

Clarisse La-rue head-cannons

An: this is just like general headcannons that I think fit her

————————————————————————

Bodyguard for Aphrodite kids. I mean this like if ur an Aphrodite kid and someone messes with you clarisse will beat their ass in capture the flag

Would on occasion listen to Lana del ray but would never admit it

Daddy and mommy issues (pick a struggle girl)

Y’all know that line “I should be into this guy but he’s really not my type” from the song “girls” by girl in red.. yeah that’s how she feels abt Chris

She’s a lesbian Yall

Hates sweets but loves dark chocolate

Shows off, even if she doesn’t like you she’s gonna show off just to be a bitch (it’s ok tho she’s hot)

Y’all need to hear me out with this one ok, she will get high w the camp stoners but only on special occasions, like if she’s especially pissed off shell get high to calm down but other than that she doesn’t really smoke

If y’all r dating she’ll sneak out of camp w you and go down to the gas-station and buy some junk food and eat/drink it with you as y’all walk back to camp just bc you can really do many date things at camp

Hates English (the subject)

Is actually such a neat freak like she’ll yell at her siblings if the cabin is dirty

—

An: uhhh I’m gonna write a fic based on some girl in red songs and maybe some others idk 🕺

— GUYS IM ABT TO GET FERAL IF TUMBLR DOESNT STOP FUCKING UP THE DAMN PHOTOS AT THE TOP OF THIS FICK HOLY SHIT IVE FIXED IT 10 TIMES

[moodywyrm]

Do you have hc for farmhand! Sevika that are nsfw… cause I’m a whore

only writing this because I feel so unbearably needy and sub and touch-starved I'm crying. we got the full length yoga pants, hoodie, blankets 1 and 2, and all four stuffies on deck. chubby reader as usual. @pinknightsinmymind I have another contribution baby <3

she's absolutely a pleasure/service dom, most of the time. I imagine she does like to be the sub (emi has convinced of Sub Sevika), but that takes a lot of working up to. remember, she comes to the farm pretty closed off after a terrible stint in the city. at the beginning of y'all's sexual relationship, which is her first relationship where she's really, truly cared about her partner, she just needs to be able to take care of you.

fucking insatiable when it comes to giving head. I'm talking making out with your cunt, absolutely fucking soaked and sloppy, there is slick in her hair at this point. the first time she went down on you she came untouched in her boxers. honestly didn't even know she could do that, but finally getting to taste you and have you completely at her mercy after a fucking Year of pining? yeah she didn't stand a fucking chance.

after that, takes literally any opportunity to eat you out. doesn't care if your sweaty from fieldwork, it drives her fucking crazy. also doesn't care if you're hairy, baby loves hairy pussy. I said it and I stand by it. first time she sees your pussy, she goes a little bit insane because god you've been hiding this from her? y'all wanted each other for so long and she could've been shoving her face in between your thighs for how long? she's gotta make up for lost time.

doesn't let up until you've cum at least – at the absolute minimum – three times. anything less is a damn shame. needs to have you shaking and fucked out before she even considers letting you go. same thing applies to any other sexual act.

speaking of other sexual acts. her strap. holy shit her fucking strap.

dark purple. 7 inches. girth as all hell. veiny. can be a breeding strap. attached to an expensive leather harness that Sevika takes such good care of. even got special leather cleaner for it. also must add. she didn't have this one before she got with you. specifically picked this one out with you on one of your semi-regular trips to the city, alongside a few other toys. this one's her favorite though <3 next to the black strap that also has a side that goes in her <3

when it comes to fucking you with her strap, she always has to prep you. extensively. im talking at least an hour with her mouth and fingers, getting you all ready and worked up to take her. does she know you could probably take it sooner than that? yes. does she love the ritual of getting you so unbearably worked up that you cry and scramble to hold onto her when she finally pushes in? abso-fucking-lutely.

loves literally any position to fuck you in, but has a soft spot for missionary and having you ride her. for different but similar reasons.

missionary because she loves how you look beneath her, dependent on her, how she knows she can take care of you in this position. plus being able to watch your tummy squish when she manhandles you into similar positions like a mating press is just so fucking good for her.

riding her, whether she be laying down or sitting up, because she adores seeing you use her for your pleasure. it took a second for you to feel entirely comfortable being more commanding during sex, so whenever you want to ride her, she's so incredibly proud and horny. there's just something about having you astride her, taking your pleasure with no shame, no reservations. it's fucking beautiful, and she thinks you look like a goddess every single time.

loves scissoring with you, btw. always with her on top bc that requires some strength and why does she have it if she ain't gonna use it to make her pretty girl feel good. honestly didn't really consider scissoring when she was in the city, contrary to popular belief. mainly relied on oral and strap. meeting you was a fucking Revelation.

I mean it. she almost came the Second she pressed her pussy against your sloppy, warm, wet cunt, clit still throbbing from your orgasm. she doesn't know if any sensation will ever compare. fucking loves feeling you cum right against her, leaking all over her.

as hot and dirty sex can be between you two, it's also incredibly fucking intimate. this goes back to you being the first partner Sevika ever really got with that she truly, 100% was in love with, down to her fucking bone marrow. she needs to let you know that she loves you more than anything, and sex helps her do that. there's so much hand-holding, eye contact, hushed 'I love you's, kisses pressed against necks, etc. etc. everything she does, she does for you, and she needs you to know that. will even light candles for you, fucking you And making love to you in a pink-tinted room. nothing but the best for the love of her life.

that being said. baby fucking loves to take you around the farm. doesn't care how exposed it is. behind the greenhouse? check. behind the farmhouse? check. on the porch of the farmhouse? triple check. on the grassy patch above the pond? quadruple check. she does not care where it is, she just need her woman at all times, however you'll let her have you.

sometime she'll intentionally show off while she's working the farm, knowing just how needy it gets you. can't even begin to count how many times you bringing her lemonade on a hot day turned into you on your knees, dressed rucked up enough to stuff a hand down your panties as you ate her out, her big strong hands gently holding you against her cunt.

also loves your pretty lil dresses, you only started wearing them more when y'all got married and Sevika insisted on taking over the bulk of the farm work. Lets you play the pretty lil housewife, even though you still insist on helping around the farm. Anyway the dresses: yeah she fuckign adores them. loves it when you wear the off the shoulder ones with no bra, bc then she can just yank and expose your gorgeous tits, ready and waiting for her mouth.

also just. housewife kink. I will not elaborate at this time but im 100% certain of it.

farmer sevika smut! I will warn y'all now and by warn I mean but my foot down: this au is gonna have a lot of fluff. there will be smut, sure, but im a fluff girl to my core. this is basically my stardew valley fantasy. I hope y'all will love the fluff just as much as the smut.

[prince-liest]

I… oh my god. So much. Has happened. Bear… bear with me. This time i KNow its gonna be a long one. First of all, oh my GOD. THERE WAS NO BAD NEWS IN UR LAST ANSWER. HOLY SHIT. I see how i read into ur previous answer, that val is the only dumper, but yes what you described is EXACTLY the same flavor as what I was describing. It also works SO MUCH BETTER, OH MY GOD! “Vox managing to be the one to break things off at any given point in time hinges on him being able to frame his rationale as "anger" rather than "upset," the latter of which just gets brushed under the carpet of Emotions That Are Not Taken Seriously. [...] anything that makes him feel vulnerable or, ah, let's deliberately and pointedly use the word hysterical, is a pre-existing internal struggle that Valentino knows how to manipulate to his advantage. [and vox does not break up with val when he feels as such]” PRINCE IM RIPPING MY FUCKING HAIR OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! THTAS. THATS EXACTLY WHAT TF IM TALKING ABOUT. You just clarified that extra layer of “oh my god this is fucking perfect.’ also. ALSO. them getting back together being sappy makeup sex…. Oh my god. Oh my dear god. If it wasnt clear, i am a Heathen for voxval, too. If you ever feel inspired to write a voxval fic i promise you my firstborn. 

OHHHHHH  MY GOD IM SO HAPPY MY RAMBLINGS HELPED YOU WITH THE FIC!!!!!! TBH IVE RARELY BEEN THIS OVERJOYED. LIKE I COULDNT STOP GRINNING AND GIGGLING WHEN I SAW IT. FUCKKKKK. Also im fucking cackling that my actual impact was bringing vox to severe distress instead of a more angry and annoyed disposition. Like yeah,,.. Im here to make you suffer, baby. LOVE YOU VOX! 

Im gonna leave my thoughts for actual fic for another ask bc… yeah. I will spare you. - 🌓

Do NOT spare me, I enjoy these immensely. >:) Proof:

Very genuinely, I had kinda been squinting at the actual scene in question with dissatisfaction for a hot minute, so I was very pleased when your ask made it click to me what the fuck felt so wrong about it. So thank you!

Staticmoth is definitely percolating in my brain and I want to write something for them because, like you, I am also indeed deeply invested in them (they are my favorite ship very much alongside radiostatic, which is probably not obvious given I haven't written anything actively centered around them - but they're like the fucked up, evil version of MHA erasermic for me in this fandom because they Must be present in the narrative and also I love them). I haven't had any specific ideas good enough to turn into a fic yet, but I might just mash them all together at some point or, y'know. Go the Good Olde [insert wanking hand motion here] route!

[journalsouppe]

UNWOUND FUTURE RAAHHHHHHHH!!! What an AMAZING trilogy conclusion with such a perfect setup for future sequels. I cannot recommend playing Professor Layton enough.

All of the Professor Layton stickers are from @jordydrawsmerch which can be found here and here. Every other sticker is from Daiso!

All the writing is typed below!

Rating: 9.3 Played: Fa 2023 Port: HD mobile (iPad) Favorite? Y Replayable? Y Recommend? Y

Comments:

the way the PM walked T^T

LMFAO STACHENSCARFEN

Layton’s about to be beat up bc of his top hat (skull emoji)

Getting major DGS 2-3 vibes

FAMILY GOON

An arc arcade? You’re speaking my language

I LOVE THE BLOCK HAT PUZZLE PIECES SPELLING LAYTON IN JAPANESE!!!

FLORA STICKER

BABY LAYTON BLUSHING IM SCREAMING

I really love the picture book and its music

THE DEVIL IN THE TOP HAT NOO

Luke always takes the opportunity to roast the Laytonmobile (skull emoji)

THEYRE JUST SHOOTING AT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

THE ORIGINS OF LAYTONS HAT IM GONNA CRY T^T

I love that bi Luke has his own puzzle solving sequence

Where the fuck did you take us future Luke

The battle of wits was so fun omg

I cant get over evil Layton

BIG LUKE AND LITTLE LUKE

Omg Hershel in the background

Based p. Layton newspaper conversation

LMFAO Hershel trespassing and Luke stressed

The bee???? T^T

FLORA PUZZLE SOLVED SEQUENCE T^T!!!!

GO OFF FLORA!!!!

Ooo pretty Chinese arc

Hershel i swear

Hmmm young sir… who is big Luke?

NOT AVOGADRO

Did all the scientists piss their pants?

I have a lot of questions

Love the design and music of the pagoda

Where tf did Hershel go (skull emoji)

Omg Luke’s a Sherlock fan

I feel like Layton was replaced with evil Layton

I swear Dimitri had a mustache??

THE BARS

WHERE IS FLORA

DON PAOLO LMAO

THE LUKE MOBING SCENE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

How many secret hideouts are there T_T

NOOO FLORA

The barkeep is v sketch

Chad laytonmobile

I can see how this game inspired dgs

THE KAZUMA AND CLIVE PARALLELS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

BEASLY AND PUZZLETTE HOLY SHIT

“That’s funny” :[

Ive been side eyeing some of these designs the past 2 games but yeah bostro’s design is def racist

DON PAOLO TURNIGN EVIL BC OF CLAIRE LOVING HERSHEL LMAO T-T and the running into the river omfg

Working with don paolo has been fun

I DIDNT THINK LAYTON WOULD ACTUALLY CUT THE ROPE

Where did Layton learn all this about Clive??

Summary:

WHAT A PHENOMENAL GAME!!! Truly what a great “conclusion” to the main trilogy. You learn so much about Layton, Luke, flora, and many other characters like don paolo. The ending reveal of Clive was CRAZY. It really reminded me of movies like howls moving castle/the iron giant. I also just love how complex Clive is. He was driven to violence because of how the government treated him and his family, but he never truly wanted to hurt people. He was without any hope and thought mass destruction would finally bring some change to the government, but he also made sure to include Layton in his plans because he so desperately wanted someone to stop him. It’s tragic and terrorism definitely wasn’t the way to go but at least this is a fictional story and that death machine looked kinda sick Ngl. The story of Layton and Claire was also so tragic yet so healing. Layton could finally take off his hat without feeling grief, you never would’ve known he was hurting that much. I loved Claire, she seemed like such an amazing person and I’m glad Layton wasn’t swayed to try to bring her back, although he did falter when he had to say goodbye again. Although I highly enjoyed the game, I am slightly disappointed there was no actual evil Layton. How fun would a game with evil Layton be omg. The whole game constantly caught me by surprise, even by small scenes like Beasly and PUZZLETTE. I’m still a littel confused about the lab experiments with Gumbo and subject 3, I’m not quire sure why they added that plot (and have no resolution) but I liked Gumbo fine. My favorite coin animal will always be hot dog though. I cannot recommend this series enough, I am having the time of my life. I can also see how DGS was heavily inspired by these games and im so glad about it bc dgs was game changing. I can’t believe there was a 26 year wait in between UF and NWOS but im glad to be a Layton fan :’) so fucking glad!!!!

[her-favorite]

I'm gonna write about this but I couldn't help but share (I literally thought of this in my exam today HELP)

Basically have you seen that picture of Cameron shirtless? I can't find a photo I thought of but...

LOOK AT THAT VLINE HOLY SHIT SHIT SHITTTTTT

Anyways, just imagine riding Cam and your digging into his chest, making cresent shaped indentations that were sure to go red.

Or like when your going down on him; having him sit down on the bed, spreading his legs to have you kneel between them. You kiss his lips passionately before leaning down to kiss his neck. You sink lower to leave a trail of kisses from his collarbones to the middle of his chest and down to his happy trail (I love happy trails sm).

You unbuckle his belt and tug his pants off of him, your hands laying on the sides of his thighs, thumbs rubbing gentle circles on the dip of his v line (gosh almighty-) before you kiss the bulge of his boxers. He gasps softly and his hand comes to hold your hair, gently petting you almost as if to say "keep going, baby".

Yeah this is where I blanked out and got too horny to think LMFAO

Bonus pic because he looks ethereal here :

GIRL YOU CANT KEEP TEASING ME WITH THESE IDEASS 😭 this man is so fine like im so obsessed with him it’s actually concerning. YOU BETTERRR WORK ON THAT. IM IN NEED OF IT NOW 🤭🤭 also omg i try to add his v-line in my smuts bc jesusss i wanna do some crazy things..

[bxngthedoldrums]

a petekey reading of so much (for) stardust

aka you knew i'd do this aka i didnt take four literature classes in college for nothing aka make sure your tinfoil hat is SECURED to your noggin aka dear lord forgive me for committing sins of petekey in the year of 2023

look. i have to do this or i don't deserve this blog. amen

~ love from the other side

okay. yea, immediately the "you were the sunshine of my lifetime" thing is sort of sus, because we all know pete wentz and anytime sun or summer is involved it's Something. this is solidified in "summer falling through our fingers again" in verse 2, but it's interesting that he uses "ours" in this lyric bc i feel like recently most of pete's summer lyrics have been pretty self-inflicted. it's impossible to not note the whole "inscribed like stone and faded by the rain" in the bridge v. "the tombstones were waiting" line in bang the doldrums. i shant even elaborate u can pick up what i'm laying down!

~ heartbreak feels so good

i think this song is pretty light on petekey imagery but "light from a screen of messages unsent" kinda reminds me of "some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone" in ginasfs but i could be reaching for Sure. let's be real that's all i do

~ hold me like a grudge

honestly i think this is one of the worst petekey offenders on the album. this one had me gawking at my screen as i read the lyrics. "thaw out my freezer burn feelings for twenty summers" ??? be SERIOUS pete... "part-time soulmate, full-time problem" yeah I GET IT I GET IT !!! the whole thing reeks of 2005 summertime fling

~ fake out

"do you laugh about me whenever i leave?" bonkers ass line,,this reminds me of pete's lj writing in those years after 2005,,,"my mood board is just pictures of you, but i'm not sad anymore" YEAH. this is SO pete holy fuck. that classic wentz obsession,,"we did for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change" this line's got me on the fuckin FLOOR. also classic pete!!! his perchance for nostalgia is just insane and he really feels it huh

~ heaven, iowa

i dont even know how to get into this one. "kiss my cheek, baby, please/would you read my eulogy?" SICK and TWISTED evil!!! evil!!! "i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me" jesus h christ the melancholy is off the charts but holy fuck this song is so,,,tender? i dont know wht to say but i know this was written w summer of love intention. i know this in my heart. "scar-crossed lovers, forever" OKAY I KNOW !!! this song is DEVASTATING verse 2 is fucked UP and the bridge is too!!! "closed my eyes inside your darkness and found your glow"???? i cantr og on

~ so good right now

i can't really discern any particularly petekey lyrics in this one right away but the whole "i cut myself down to be whatever you need me to be" is pretty fucking wild

~ i am my own muse

there's some really sad lyrics in this one ab the whole future-not-going-as-planned thing that comes up so frequently in pete's writing but honestly the whole "let's twist the knife again, twist the knife again like we did last summer" thing made my head explode. every lover's got a lil dagger in their hands!!!

~ flu game

im not gonna sit here and type out ths whole fucking song but oh my GOD bro. this song to me is a really nice callback to pete's older style of lyricism but that comes with the self-deprecation and all the other really sad shit. it's beautiful! it's horrible! i love it!!! its about mikey i cant even pul out a few lyrics just LISTEN

~ baby annihilation

another fucked up one that literally anyone else in fob should have vetoed but OKAY?? "time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer" MAN SHUT UP. "self sabotage at best, under your spell/but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself" ..........dude. if you're like me and you've poured over pete's oooold lj posts from the mid 2000s you already get it, but if you havent,,,go do it and get back to me bc this is TOO MUHC im unwell. "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" i think i hauve covid

~ the kintsugi kid (ten years)

this song is really fucking sad actually. there's so much fear of being forgotten on this album and it's showcased really beautifully in this song,,,mayhaps not the most obviously petekey song but god damn

~ what a time to be alive

this song's about covid and quarantine n it's pretty easy on the whole suffering from a fling in 2005 thing! good job pete and fob

~ so much (for) stardust

this song is kinda suspicious but there's very few lines that really solidify it as a petekey song,,, altho "i think i've been going through it, and ive been putting your name through it" is a really interesting lyric. and OF COURSE, "in another life, you were my babe/in another life, you were the sunshine of my lifetime" happy xmas war is over

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry