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#if only this happened to me irl but oh well
peachyutdr · 10 months
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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deus-ex-mona · 24 days
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. ​how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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lisxdumbr · 5 months
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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afniel · 6 months
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Going into The Fight (trying to sleep without jumpscaring myself awake over nothing (in which 'nothing' is spiders, hornets, or most recently a creepy closet door that opens, I guess? that's what got me last night. twice)) wish me luck
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thegreatestheaver · 4 months
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Conventional nightmares are scary but I think it’s the unrealistic ones that are the most scary
#the conventional ones I have are ones where people try to kill me or I kill people or do other bad things to them#or other bad things happen to me that could happen irl. but euhgh#I had such a weird nightmare#I WSS like ? on a weird ship thing with extended and being gay was like. not allowed but. I was gay anyways#and I hid it pretty well until like. suddenly at a huge fancy family dinner like? I was hashtag exposed and I tried to be like no please noo#but they were like TO THE HELL DIMENSION WITH YOU!!!! and I got sent to … s dark room with a stage and.. prom decorations?#there were other people and stuff and people onstage preforming the same thing over and over but I sat in the back bc I was pissed#also I was a borzoi. important detail😭 I remeber it because I always had to swish my tail off the chairs so I didn’t sit on it#anyways I was pissed as fuck. hal was there (the person not the character) and I was maaaaaad and it for some reason and I feel kinda bad#glitch was telling me yea ur in hell with (PEOPLE WHO DID REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL THINGS. like. really bad.) and I was like awesome. kys#and it was like OK. don’t be like that let’s go sit at the chairs up high by the stage. and we sat on the same chair all squished 😭#everyone also had a small pack of plastic dinosaur beads that are. identical to ones that I have. and he talked to me as I fiddled with them#I was reallyyy scared because there were fucking. really dangerous people also apparently I was supposed to rot here forever.eventually hal-#-got up to strech and so did I and I sat back down ready for him to sit with me and he was like no. and I was like :? and it was like. the#the house. then glitch pointed to a small plastic house in the room like the ones for kids to play with outside and I was like oh :(#cos I thought he was leaving me and I got really sad because he was like. the only#good thing there. but it was like no. come#and I didn’t hear and I kept moping and he was like COME WITH. and I was like omg it’s talking to me. YAYYY!!!#I got up wirh my borozi paws to go follow glitch into the house then I woke up because someone called me just now😭😭😭#and I’m not gonna sleep again. it’s nearly 2pm. woof.#anyways that was horrible it was worse than the time I had a dream I killed someone and was a wsnted fugitive#I think hal was there cos I was thinking abt him right before I EME went to sleep and when I think of ppl before I sleep they often are in-#-my dreams#ok I need to get up and do stuff now. auhh#hollowspeak
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t4tbedehopmar · 1 year
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also um. i think i'm fully back now? I'M FULLY BACK NOW?????? NOW??!?!?!!!?!??!!!!
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upsidedowngrass · 1 year
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reading your and jaspers posts about bryce with silent admiration because im too scared to contribute but i really love bryce so much hes my girlfriend and my husband and i like hearing u guys talk about him because youre Right. especially as someone who struggled from grief and trauma and being abused i think bryce's case interests me more than any of the other characters (even though liam is my favorite, and it says a lot because i find all of them interesting) because there is so much to him. i doubt he has processed a single thing about what happened. i think stellas death was recent too honestly, within the last few years at least, and he copes by... not coping. burying himself in work and drinking in the hopes to forget about it. not even to mention the fact that in episode 7 it showed him driving home drunk personally i feel he was past the point of caring to the point of engaging in risky/dangerous behaviors (this speaks for itself, i dont think i need to say why). i think that the plane impacted him so much that within those 7 months after leaving he got his shit together. i cant speak for if hes totally sober or not but at the very least he doesn't drink as much as he used to and i doubt he's putting himself in danger anymore. to be honest i think bryce is one of the characters who has changed the most because of the plane, which makes him being rejoined all the more interesting to me. im probably just making shit up but i like to read into it a little more than "bryce and liam were getting along but now theyre separated and liam has to fix it oh no". sorry this ask is kind of word vomit im not in the headspace to tidy it up but i hope you get what i mean
i think if one had continued for longer than it did it would have been interesting to explore bryce finally accepting and coming to terms with his past (him not seeing his childhood home in the wr anymore kind of representing this). i love bryce and he deserves to heal
TY!!!!!!! im glad my thoughts warrant admiration to you :D!!!!!!!!!!! (i will say tho that every time uve ever posted YOURE thoughts i am like ohhhhh.... ur SO RIGHT. i think u have some of the BEST interpretations of the one characters ive seen!!!!!)
(talked SOOO so much .so there is a readmore :) )
brcye really IS such an interesting character???? ik ive said it before but i AM biased towards protagonists so i usually focus on liam but like ...... bryce really IS probably one of the more. indepth ? characters in one in terms of like. background and how he Acts. i think ALL of teh characters are written really incredibly but i think, given how much of his bg is clarified (esp in contrast with how little is shown of the other characters lives pre-one) his motives, personality, emotions all end up being SUPER super elaborate and i REALLY love how he was written ??
(that said i think the reason he IS elaborated on sm is bc like. one doesnt elaborate on character backgrounds like MOST of the time. even charlotte is mostly left up to interpretation, bc one is more about the HOW people respond rather than WHAT made them respond that way. but charlotte and bryce are both outliers, and bryce ESPECIALLY so. because both obviously have Things they havent worked through properly, but bryce is directly just. Living in it. its the fact that he WONT acknowledge the actual Things that hapepned enough to heal that warrants the elaboration. while the other characters stop acknowledging ANYTHING about their lives , save for charlotte, who gradually works out her issues themselves, because THATS whats effecting her, bryce is CONSTANTLY just. he Needs to go back, but his problems ARE about what happened, and the fact that his life outside of the plane was what MATTERED to him, but that even then, he just Wouldnt acknowledge that life when he Needed to. idk if that makes sense but ohhh i think about the decision to elaborate on some characters and to not on others bc it feels Important)
hes so. he mirrors all of the contestants in some ways, but he mirrors amelia a LOT in that both of them respond to trauma by Setting It Aside. like That Trauma Cant Affect Me If I Dont Look At It. like. ur right bryce has NOT processed ANY of his trauma. which like it makes SENSE bc. it prob feels so much easier to him to not think about it by drinking instead, because its a Lot to think about. its a Lot to come to terms with. but bc he WONT acknowledge it but its still AFFECTING him he just gets More and More miserable (the detail about him driving home drunk and not even caring is so. :( )
what IS one of the most. compelling? aspects of his character to me is the way he responded to Everything after getting eliminated. bc it just feels So Real. because he IS healing, not completely, and not in the best way, but he clearly like. started putting SO much work into improving his life??? (the detail of him finally getting an end table for his bed instead of just... using a cardboard box ALWAYS gets to me. and that + the fact that the photo of stella is put up makes it seem like. THATS what was in that box. he LITERALLY started Unpacking thigns. its like poetry to me.) because it IS hard, and i think hes still putting things to the side, shoving the trauma from the plane to the side now instead of all his other grief and trauma. and the removal of the cans from his room yknow?? that hes getting up for work on time now?? its like. yeah i agree idk if hes necessarily SOBER yet but he really does seem like hes working really hard
its not perfect, but its BETTER and it feels. correct?? (and tbh? trying to brush off the plane as a dream isnt even teh worst thing he couldve done with that, i think, bc reasonably what WAS he supposed to do w that experience?? i dont think there WAS a good answer) bc the plane was a whole new kind of trauma. and i think surface level, one would THINK hed get WORSE after further trauma but like. i think he DID in some ways but in the ways that actually affected how he acknowledged and responded to his pre-existing trauma DID get better bc, as he puts it, hed Thrown his life away before, and didnt want to do it again. bc this time, he very well couldve died. and while he was on the plane, being home, on earth was SO much better than the plane, and it recontextualized Everything. hell, maybe after that, the earth finally felt Less daunting, like somewhere he Wanted to be, because for once, he WANTED to be back, and rationalizing That and the fact that he got Lucky, that something Worse couldve just full on Killed Him Forever really DID mean he didnt WANT the worse to come, at least not as much as before. but that meant he HAD to start actually Working on improving things, and i think he may not have Intended to acknowledge Worse things, but simply because the things he had to do to improve his life, like drinking less, making his house more Livable, they all Forced him to think about things More. hes still certainly not thinking about them as much as he Should, hes still not Processing things, but hes Heading in the right direction . he really was SO changed by ONE
and then liam showing up forces him, once again, to think about something he tried to push to the side. aaaaaaaandd then he rejoins and its so. it feels thematically fitting and IS so so SO interessting. because for once in his life hes REALLY facing his trauma head on. but then is brought straight back into it. and i need to think about that aspect more bc those thoughts are a bit less Focused than my other thoughts but given how complex his writing is after he gets OUT, its. SO interesting to think about how being BACK affects him
esp bc like. him starting ep 18 Pissed Off- which historically his responses to trauma are to either just Be Shocked, as depicted a LOT in ep 14, or to get Very Vocally pissed, as shown through the first half of s1, esp ep 6, and ep 11, and ep 13, and ep 18. ive seen it written as 'he doesnt have anywhere to direct the sheer amnt of STRESS and fear so he just. ends up yelling at people bc what else CAN he do' and i think thats?? probably fairly accurate. i dont think hes as Constantly Irritable and Irrationally Angry as fanon presents him , bc it tends to be. excessive. but he DOES get reasonably angry in response to stress !!! i always think abt how his body language in the 'credits' scene of ep 6 look like hes yelling at airy. and im. lays on the ground. i dont even know if thats ever as much 'just anger' as it is Fear and it FUCKS ME UP
but the way i see it, that ties to ep 18 a LOT. because he was really Getting better. hell, what he thought was the WORST that could happen HAPPENED (dying) but he. came out OKAY? its like he was being forced to think about and work through his trauma and he survived and was ok. but being sent back is like. 'oh god i did that all for nothing.' but i think it also sort of?? serves as the Last Push for him to really, REALLY acknowledge the plane (which is why it makes sense so thematically for him to be the rejoiner. he WAS the only contestant whod Chosen to ignore it all. but that has nothing to do with the plane, he cant choose if the plane ignores Him.) past talking about its affects, how its affected people. because after everything hed worked toward, hes Back. hes back, and everyone else is STILL HERE. liam had said they were all still There but seeing them there is a whole other thing. hed SEEN the effects of making it out after 7 months. but he never saw what it was like to still BE there after all that time. and bryce CARES about them (fanon sometimes treats him as if he is a bit. coldhearted? but i think people misattribute him being unhappy with liam as him not caring. i think the problem is that he maybe cares too much, and was affected a LOT, but didnt and doesnt know how to handle that. so he WANTS to ignore it, because it was all he could do, and haaving to backtrack on his haphazard healing from the plane is. highly daunting and uncommfortable and terrifying. thats not being cold though, thats VERY different) and now he HAS to acknowledge Everything, has to be a part of it Again. and i think its a combination of 'liam was here for 7 months after we all thought itd only be a few weeks. Anything could happen. who knows how long ill be here for?' and 'liam didnt have anything when he came back. will I have anything when i come back?? will i have worked so, so hard to heal and fix my life for Nothing?' and 'i dont WANT to be here again.' and 'oh my god all of them Really Really Are Here. Theyve been here the whole time.' and i think all that culminates in an appropriate amount of horror, and that prompts him to do what hes STARTED doing, which was All He Can. and hes pissed off cus hes terrified, so he spurs everyone into pulling out the plug. and then. it doesnt work. it doesnt work and thats the LAST of what he had, and i think iirc hes the LAST one to close his eyes afterwards. because hed BEEN off the plane, hes the one of them who had any hope to give them anymore. and it didnt work
(i also think a lot about how it mustve felt seeing the contestants all so. resigned. because bryce was like that before all this, but ever since one began he was stubborn, and didnt WANT to give up. and i think finding out that these people youd seen try so, so hard just to Handle Any Of This be SO resigned would be. so fucked up. he knew amelia when she was so determined to leave, and while charlotte seems a bit saddened by her resignation, bryce was there BEFORE that happened. he wasnt there like liam or charlotte was to see it gradually develop, and to develop that despair alongside them. all hes seen is that amelia was so determined. and that he may not have known her THAT well before, he knows shes different. he knows she Gave Up and like. GOD. and also i think abt how he mustve Felt seeing the plug for the first time because ehs the only one of them who hadnt seen it before (given its likely all the other characters had, since they casually refer to it). and given the short time frame between him getting there, and the contestants trying to pull the plug? it almost seems that that was like. the last straw. and ive never posted it but i once drew stuff abt it bc. the damage to it is noticable. and i think hes already aware liam was fucked up, but this is like. a tangible, permanent record of that on the plane. and he cares about liam, and has been grappling with all the things liams told him, but thats. thats something he can See. And i think it all of it culminates in him deciding that what hes been avoiding is doing Soemthing about all this, because before he couldnt, and then it was. an awful idea to, and then he didnt have many choices BUT to help. but now theres hardly anything to do, but he has to try. he doesnt want to give up. and it makes me soooooooooooooooooo. head in hands.)
anyway that was a LONG tangent the point is. YEAH. i think rejoining would be. very very significant for his character i dont think youre making shit up its DEFINENTLY a topic w a lot of things to discuss about it
but god. yeah it wouldve been SO nice to see him come to terms with everything hed been through before one. i think the show purposefully included what it did and ended when it did because it makes more sense thematically for it to go unresolved, because the point was that NOTHING was able to be resolved nicely because unfortunately, many things are Out Of Their Control. things COULDVE resolved almost perfect but enough things went wrong at just the right (or more fitting, wrong) time for all of that to not work. i think him no longer seeing the suburbs may have signalled more that maybe, just maybe, he could Do something to help the other contestants even if HE was Dead, that now he finally HAS a goal, if that makes sense (though i think even in the timeline of the series it still wouldve taken way longer for him to process everything Fully, they WERE only in the waiting room for probably about a day) but the idea of finally seeing the waiting room as it is bc hed finally worked through everything .... man.............. man
ik ive already said it though but i DO think it is sooooo so possible for him to heal post canon. im a firm believer that no matter what, at LEAST bryce and ameliaa get home (liam and charlotte have more room for error but i DO generally interpret the ending as them both getting home too, theres just less room for things to go wrong w amelia and bryce). and i think after everything? hed be able to heal. it would SUCK but i think hes, shockingly, in a better place Logistically for things to improve, because he has a support system, he has what hed already worked on in those 7 months, he has so much to aim for. it would be rough and take long but i think ultimately? hed be able to heal :) and its what he deserves
#ask#got SO rambly in this answer . this ask made me think SO MUCH#man tho. the theme of people responding to Trauma in one is legitimately so.#it feels so significant and i think it was done SO well#like. fun fact but ep 6 was what REALLY sold me on the show when i first watched it#which SOUNDS morbid but it was the post credits scene that Got me#because it jsut. sounded so much like how trauma is discussed irl. when liam like#says 'i was riding home on my bike when it happened' i remember i was so. Ohhh My God#bc i was. oh this show is just. having characters naturally respond to and discuss trauma#like it wasnt just an element of the series anymore it clicked that the show was developing a literary THEME and it made me sooooo emotiona#like it esp hit hard bc . discussing trauma is a LOT and seeing them Talk Abt It like that hit me so hard.#and to this day that scene is just so. emotionally impactful#AND sidenote its so. at that pt in the series nothing has been Revealed abt bryces life before one#but the fact that hed Been Through Shit Before makes the scene feel so important.#because bryce has been through a LOT of trauma already. and bc of that? of course hes the one talking to liam. because he *gets it.*#of course he talks about it so naturally. he may not have really worked through anything but he KNOWS this#and whether or not liams been through stuff before doesnt matter here. because this isnt something he knows how to live through#but bryce has experience with living through things. hes the only one able and willing to talk eith liam through it because he Gets it#and it makes me so. AUUUGHGG#alcohol#ask to tag#(also as silly as it is liam abruptly cutting the convo off to talk abt the grass is like. yeah. yeah#emotional convos with friends abt trauma can very often end abruptly for completely unrelated reasons#at least in my exp#which is prob bc eventually theres nothing TO say bc the topic sorta. speaks for itself?? and that feels like what happened in their convo#though i think liam prob ALSO mentions it bc. id imagine its unnerving to notice . like this place would just FEEL so abnormal#and it was prob on his mind bc the two of them were already talking abt fucked up things about the plane#and its a small detail but. a detail about the plane nonetheless)
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bunnyb34r · 1 year
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I'm so burnt out my dudes
#explains why the past two weeks ive been at my limit/only have like 2 spoons to deal with after work and by god do they go fast#like the tolerance i have for anything is so low lately and im sure it's autism burnout :/#and idk what to do ab it bc i can't bring up the tism to my therapist bc oh youre not autistic. bitch i mask well ive had to for 20 years#straight! and i only talk to you for an hour once a month so like... how would you know#anyway i have 0 tolerance for like anything anymore and it's so frustrating#and sometimes i give into that and will seek out shit that will make me mad so i have SOMEBODY to blame my anger on#i dont interact other than reading/lurking but i sit here irl bitching to myself like 'yeah that happens bc youre a little fucking brat'#and most of the shit is stuff id roll my eyes at and scroll past in a good/neutral mood! but the burnout brain is like no theyre doing this#on PURPOSE they're like this to piss me off specifically. and it's like... how do i channel this energy into a non harmful way when#im so fucking burnt out? aside from stepping away from social media bc id seek it out elsewhere lmao trust me id pry ab my#cousins bc they are so fucking stupid and rude and the 'perfect' ones to latch onto and bitch ab bc my brain needs something to#justify this rage and anger and it's so stupid but sometimes that anger feels good? idk it's stupid but like i said i never interact#directly bc im not an asshole lmao im not gonna like call my cousins and be like lol yeah thats all your fault xoxo hope that helps bitch!#marquilla#idk where i was going with this lmao#this barbie has autistic burnout!
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speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,
#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol#i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare#and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then.#like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things#j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions.#posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left#meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways#gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share#i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it#not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique.#to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either.#& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly#tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like#well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone.#some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao#much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here#like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No#the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here#lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day#on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style#beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it.#Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn#situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all#just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating#themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways...#sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao#and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh#or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation#lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually#that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....
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I genuinely do not understand people who are guests in someone else's home that just. Take shit. Without asking. And leave shit a mess after themselves.
Someone is ALLOWING you to STAY in their HOME and you are gonna leave the bathroom a mess after you shower? Floor soaking wet, towels and rags and clothes pushed behind the door that make it hard to open, using their soaps and shampoos (without asking), using their PERSONAL products like razors or hairbrushes or loofahs, hair all clogging the drain, etc.
Someone is allowing YOU to stay in THEIR home and you are gonna assume blanket permission to eat whatever the hell you want from their pantry and fridge? Like. I know I have an eating disorder that makes it. . . difficult. . . for me to ask for and accept food at other people's homes but. Is it not just. Common courtesy? That 'if you didn't get blanket permission and you didn't ask specifically then you shouldn't be eating food you didn't bring/pay for yourself'?
And like. It doesn't matter if they're family. I promise you, nothing about you being a GUEST changes because you are a sibling or a parent. If you as an adult are a GUEST in another adult's home YOU ARE STILL A GUEST AND SHOULD ACT ACCORDINGLY.
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airenyah · 1 year
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do your thesis bestie it's either now or on Wednesday
I WAS GOING TO AND I WENT TO SIT IN A PARK TO WRITE BUT THEN I BUMPED INTO A FRIEND WHO LIVES NEAR SAID PARK AND I ENDED UP TALKING TO HIM ABOUT SOMETHING PERSONAL THAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE FOR LIKE 2 HOURS INSTEAD OF WRITING MY THESIS OOPS
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arolesbianism · 1 year
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Also holy shit it's so nice having a phone that doesn't die in like 2 hours like I was able to watch a video on it while I ate smth and it didn't immediately drop to 40% I can actually use my phone again yayyyyy
#rat rambles#and I can finally ditch that stupid fucking bluetooth charging disk I hate it SO much#oh also for some context on why I got my phone it was a mix of a birthday gift and a starting college celebration gift#and I dont think Ive actually mentioned the college thing before? so uh ya thats kinda happening#and by kinda I mean Im only dipping my toes in with two community college classes#a japanese class and a 3d animation class since those are both things Im interested in#I got to tour the campus today and its a nice place so Im hesitantly excited#because I genuinely do wanna take these classes and its like. smth for me to actually go out and do yknow?#but its also yknow. school.#ofc its not as bad since its only two days a week and I only have to be there by like 3 pm#so I am excited just also a bit nervous still#hopefully itll go well tho! I heard that the japanese teacher is well liked at least so thats smth#oh but I am not looking forward to rolling the dice with the other students in my japanese class#I have a History with attracting the worst flavors of anime kids for my entire life I am gonna have to be on high alert dhmdyd#especially since Im genuinely just interested in learning japanese cause it appeals to me as a language I do not wanna deal with this#Ive had enough ppl first convo tell me abt how much they love yaoi I will cry if I have to keep playing nice with these ppl </3#hopefully theyll just be normal tho#it would be cool if I could make some like. actual irl friends#I am struggling to fight against my general school pessomism but I wanna believe Ill meet some nice ppl#I could really Really use some irl friends who I could actually go out and like. do stuff with.#bonus points if theyre fellow queer ppl (fellow aros especially pls pls pls pspspsps)#not gonna hold my breath on that last part tho Ive met like. a aro person and I didnt even talk to them abt aro stuff much#I actually think we followed eachother on here for a while on my old main but idk if they remember me#but ya things are certainly abt to happen rn today was a good day and Im hoping things will keep going well#again I cant help but struggle with being optimistic abt anything relating to school but I am still managing to be excited for now#lets pray that my 3d animation class will use smth that my laptop can run </3
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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i love love ffxiv sm fr (to the edge)
#I ACCIDENTALLY FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT 😭 my alarm didn't wake me up sob. gna do a lot today but rn i just.#wna listen to music n think to myself n write for a bit. hdfkalsjdf oh my god the effect to the edge has on me.#it's. genuinely probably. if i had to pick one song. wld be to the edge. hard choice but nothing else would be right.#n well. the fight's more for hmm i guess elidibus fans? apollo likes him more than me bcs i'm uhhhh an unfortunate emet-selch liker#but. that wave. THAT WAVE 🥹 such a simple movement but one that just. revealed the identity of that. yk shade that arrived#the bittersweetness in the whole exchange. n it hurts so much when you think of how. how they all used to be so happy#but now everything they've known is torn apart. for thousands of years.. that loneliness must've broken emet fr#the burden of all those lives lost. being able to see n feel them w his affinity w aether n the underworld#n then. elidibus forgot. n lahabrea's.. twisted beyond himself. tragic isn't it? n emet-selch's the only one that remembers#cries. but w endwalker what they did. i rmb crying so much throughout all that. gave me some closure fr 😭😭#n then when it comes to the musical comp too yk the. oh my god w neath dark waters yk the theme of amaurot n#the ticking.. time. n then the lyrics. i'm. technically catholic christian sob but i'm not religious n i'd consider myself agnostic.#but yk the references w the bible or christian mythology. n then the lyrics in general. 'we only fly when falling far from grace' 🥹🫶🏼#i love all the expacs in ffxiv sm i just have these phases where i'm all over each of them n rn it's shb#all the. expacs r like. arr was the start yk n i went through most of it w school n. it was comfort. esp bcs smth painful irl happened#around then. heavensward was. my fav expac at that time yk? for so many reasons.. alphi aymeric haurchefant n the story n drk n#end of the free trial. stormblood was the start of when we subbed. i cld finally play tgther w apollo. our freedom too in our own way#n then it was such a real story n touched on pain n. yk. rlly was a very compassionate story n i enjoyed thoroughly w my empathetic heart#shb was. my endgame for a while. i mean. we started out 5.3 but was still in the free trial n finally got the game 5.5#we started raiding n that's where most of our growth to who we are now happened. n the story is.. it's so. perfect.#i have a lot of memories in endwalker too but shb as an expansion was where most of my memories w other players n all happened#n. i'll ramble too much oh no but endwalker was. the first i experienced from the start. n the story is so.. oh my god#i have. the highest praise for ffxiv's story. obvs still has some of its faults here n there but the highs are worth indescribably much.#n i really mean each of those words. oh my god ffxiv rlly saved me. but i'll. also ramble more if i entertain that thought n write rn so#yk these. stories n songs n just wtvr. just has sm themes that. oh fuck it idk how to put it into words bcs it just all resonates w me sm#like. to the edge it has such a lovely composition n i love listening to every single part of it. n then the lyrics r so well-made. yk?#n then the story behind it too is.. they just put so much thought into it n w so much love n it's just so meaningful. it means so much to m#it just has. so much. n i find so much comfort in it. hdlkafjsd n then themes.. yk w amaurot for example n to the edge#underwater. angels. wings. remember. time. tomorrow. n then the stuff w morality n. just. sm of that has resonated a lot w me#ever since i was young so yk in finding ffxiv it was like i found smth that finally. finally matched w me n smth that'll continue for long
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miirohs · 5 months
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world burning [c.l.c]
pairing: Mob Boss!Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader wc: 1.4k cw: someone is literally shot, charles kisses reader a bit forcefully an: to the anon who said they'd sell me their soul my cashapp is @bestfanficwriterever (jk jk, i hope that anon sees this tho). Real reminder to you all, again, that non of this stuff is to be encouraged irl and this is all meant as a fictional scenario!
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“Charlie?”
You could hear him softly cursing in French on the other line, whispering as the bed creaked in the background. It was obvious he had just woken up, and you felt terrible for waking him as well, knowing the day he probably had.
“Qu'est-ce qu'il y a, tu ferais mieux d'avoir une bonne raison de me réveiller (what's the matter, you'd better have a good reason for waking me up)-”
“Charles, I've been arrested, I need someone to come get me.” 
The muttering stopped, grogginess disappearing from his voice almost instantly. “Y/n? Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé bon sang chéri (y/n? what the hell happened darling)?”
“Charles, not now please,” You chastised softly, looking to the door as the guards quietly conversed among themselves outside the room, “I have no idea why this is happening and what they’re gonna do to me.” “How did you even manage to get arrested… Nevermind that, I just hope you haven’t answered anything they've asked of you.” He groaned, heavy thumping over the phone as you looked nervously at the door for any indication they’d been listening to your conversation.
“I’m not that dull,” You said quietly, looking down at your lap, “and it couldn't have been anything i did, all they did was seize the car from me in the lot and bring me here.”
He paused for a moment, silent over the line. You pressed the phone against your ear, straining for any sounds on the other side of the line.
“Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”
A shiver ran down your spine and you fumbled, tripping over your words in a hurry to get them out.
“Char, what are you planning on doing?”
He laughed humorlessly over the phone, the sound of keys jingling and door slamming making you jump back from the phone as if it’d grown a head.
“Exactly what I said I'm going to do, come and pick you up.”
You swallowed the thick ball that’d formed in your throat.
“You know what- never mind, send someone else in your place, maybe Carlos?” You bargained, earning a soft chuckle from him.
“Pas de souci, mon amour. Je ne fais que commencer (no worries, my love. I'm just getting started). They should’ve learned not to fuck with the wrong person. I’ll be there in another 20 minutes, you won’t need to call anyone else.”
You shivered as the line went dead, looking at the now opened door, all the cops watching you with a suspicious look.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
All you could do was shake your head.
Not even a grand total of 15 minutes later, a shouting match erupted, followed by loud bangs.
There was a single person you could think of who was capable of this level of chaos, and you could have swore you’d heard him threatening the cops right now.
“Where is she?”
“Sir-”
“Don’t sir me, where the hell is she? Don’t tell me I have to blow another head off just for you to tell me.”
Everything seemed to fall silent for a couple moments, only a few voices daring to make a sound.
“Char?” You called out, a couple beats of silence weighing you down.
The sound of footsteps only got louder, stopping in front of the room you were in.
Keys jangled, the door slamming open as Charles walked in, a couple of police tailing him timidly to the outside of the door.
There were dark stains on his otherwise clean shirt, an indication of what happened visible in the peeved look on his face. Your eyes slowly trailed to his hand, a gun held tightly in his grip, smoking oh so slightly.
Noticing how your attention had drifted to the weapon, he put it down on the other side of the table as he approached you, shrugging off his jacket as he approached you.
“Tu vas bien maintenant (you're all right now),” He said quietly, running his fingers through your hair as he pulled you to him, “Come on, we’re going home.” 
You clutched his arm as he stood you up, eyes glued to the floor as you walked next to him.
You could hear their disappointed exhales, tinged with a bit of surprise as Charles kept a firm grip on your back, guiding you through the long hall to the main office.
As you continued to walk, he gently stopped you, turning around in the middle of the room as someone called for him.
“Fucks sake,” He sighed, turning around.
“Sir, i believe there has been a mistake-”
“What sort of mistake do you think you’ve made?” He snarled, his hand running down to your hand, lacing his fingers into yours.
“You see, the car we identified was yours and we thought that perhaps she’d stole it-”
“And you didn’t think to call me so I could deal with them myself?” He chuckled humorlessly, pulling you to his side. You held your breath, completely aware of what was about to happen.
“Charles, no-”
He shook his head at you, basically telling you to not interfere. You obliged, eyebrows creasing as you watch the poor man who had tried to explain himself get shoved to his knees.
“First off, you interrupt my very precious time, and then you have the audacity to say that you’ve made a mistake?” He stands back, waving at someone behind him to step forward to his side with a gun. “Do you know who she is?”
The man stumbled over his words, trying to plead for his life, but you already knew it was too late.
“Since you don’t seem to know, let me tell you. She’s the last face you’ll be seeing but since she’s here, I've decided to spare the rest of you for the time being. If I ever hear of anything happening to her again, anyone in this room will not be spared like they were today.” He remarked bemusedly, turning to you with the widest grin you’d ever seen from him.
“Chéri, close your eyes, and cover your ears as well.”
You didn’t need to be told twice. The second you did, there was a bang, followed by a thumping sound.
Something warm was on your face, but you didn’t dare open your eyes, shaky hands coming off your ears to touch your face.
“Don’t.” He was closer than you thought, causing you to jump as he rubbed what you assumed was a handkerchief against your face . “Don’t say anything, don’t look, just follow me.” 
You cracked open an eye, briefly wandering to the pool of blood a couple of feet away from you.
“What did I just tell you?” He remarked, barking at the rest in rapid french as he grabbed your hand and pulled you out the doors of the station.
There was an awkward silence as you lumbered into the passenger side seat, pressing yourself against the seat as he pulled out and onto the road.
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?” He muttered, hand reaching over to squeeze your thigh.
“I thought you’d be upset with me.” You looked down, noticing the dried blood on his hands, not that it made much of a difference to you anymore. Less than two years ago, you would have been horrified at the idea of blood within six feet of you, but you had come to accept it as a part of him you could never erase.
“No-” He punched the brakes, eyes slightly apologetic as you jumped from the sudden shock of stopping.
“No, no, Y/n, look at me,” His hand left your thigh, fingers curling around your chin and pulling your face to his, “You are not responsible for any of that, i gave you the car, remember? You are not to blame yourself because I would gladly do anything for you.”
“Char-” You whined, muffled slightly by the pressure of his fingers against your cheeks.
“I would give you the world to see you happy, so shut up and take it.” He pressed his lips harshly against yours, almost needy in the way he nipped at your bottom. Warmth seemed to stir inside you as he let you go, your own mind racing at a million miles per hour as he returned to the wheel as if nothing had happened.
However, under his breath, he muttered something that even escaped you as your thoughts drifted off elsewhere. “Le monde brûlera, si tu le veux ma chérie, je te le promets (the world will burn, if you want it to my darling, I promise).”
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starunits · 2 years
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slightlymore · 1 year
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deadly kiss
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chief architect jaehyun x chief engineer fem reader
genre: office au, enemies? to lovers, dom x dom and trying to force each other to sub, romance, smut, fluff
warnings: +18, alcohol, language, explicit sexual content, oral fem receiving, fingering, random sir kink because i was horny like that, use of pet name baby for her during sex, gagging on fingers and sucking, light choking, raw, sex in office, creampie. 
words: 12k+
have this little something as I warm up back into writing. it was supposed to be longer and with some angst but it has been in my drafts for monthssss and I was sick of it ehaheah enjoy. if some of these things happened to me irl no they didnt :) 
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Present, Monday 2 after the Kiss
That morning you woke up feeling the best you have felt in a hot minute. The sun was shining, the outfit you prepared looked good, you had no trouble putting on makeup that day and your hair looked great. Nothing could have disrupted such a holy morning.
Well, besides a pile of A3 papers on your desk. 
The sigh that escaped your chest as you stepped into your office sounded so defeated that your colleagues turned around in their wheeled chairs to check if you were okay. 
It’s not like you hated to have piles of paper on your desk. That was your job after all. 
It was the owner of those papers that made you roll your eyes so far back in your head that you saw green stars. 
“Can you kindly check these and confirm they’re okay? JJ :)” 
You stared at that yellow Post-it on top of the pile and the smiley face as if they committed a crime.  
“I don’t think you architects have any conception of math or physics,” you said, placing the papers on Jaehyun's desk maybe a bit too harshly. 
The man looked down at them with open palms then he prepared his cocky smile before lifting his eyes to look at you. 
He took his time with that: starting from the waist, going up slowly, shamelessly going over your breasts and finally face. 
"Hi," he tilted his head to one side and rested two fingers on his cheek. 
You rolled your eyes. 
"That project is halfway fucked," you explained, indicating the papers with your chin. 
Jaehyun's expression changed to a fake frown, going as far as giving you a little pout. "Oh, we can't allow that. Projects deserve to be fucked until the end. Just like yo-" 
You interrupted. "I swear if you continue that phrase, Jeong-" 
"Then what?" he interrupted you as well.
His eyes were dark. Eyelids low. But they were sparkling. 
You wouldn’t get intimidated. "I'll get you fired,” you said.
He chuckled. “That’s not what you said last weekend.” 
That’s right. It was all your fault. You’ve been bearing the heaviness of that fault for a few days now, in silence, and Jaehyun was just trying to make it even more difficult.
You leaned down slowly, looking around with circumscription but none of his crazy architect colleagues were paying attention to you two. If usually they’d be drinking champagne at 11 am discussing a building that breaks every law of gravity, they were weirdly dead inside that day. The project was probably kicking their ass too. 
Jaehyun stared at your cleavage underneath the dangling necklace you had around your neck before looking back up into your furious eyes. 
“Only because we made the mistake of kissing while drunk that Friday night, it doesn’t mean you can be unprofessional. Do you understand me?” 
The man’s eyes flickered and his cocky expression didn’t leave his pretty features. But he nodded once. “Yes, ma’am.” 
You straightened your back and cleared your voice, ignoring how that reply made your stomach churn. You blamed it on rage. Hearing his deep voice so up close made you irrationally mad. 
“Look again at that proposal of yours and the adjustments I made. I can give you a physics crash course if you need it.” 
“Really? Would you?” 
“I was being sarcastic. Do you think engineers in this place have time to babysit you little artsy people?” 
“Maybe I can give you something back for the effort?” 
You scoffed and crossed your arms, expecting some usual Jeong Jaehyun bullshit, like ‘a kiss’, ‘a date’, ‘my cock’. But he stood up and pulled down his dress pants on the thighs before getting the papers you gave him back and stacking them well together. 
“Like some artistic eye since you clearly lack that,” he said. 
You felt your jaw tighten at the insinuation. 
He got closer, his lips almost touching your ear. “There’s no need to be rude to me only because you think I’m attractive,” he lowered his voice, the little smirk never leaving his face. “I can play this game too.” 
You opened your mouth to reply but the swoosh he created by walking away made your hair get into it. 
“Thank you for the review,” he added already a few meters away. 
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“It’s a theme park.” 
You licked your lips with furrowed eyes, your tongue still faintly tasting the hair conditioner. The meeting of the day was to announce the new project the firm was about to take on. One of the many you've been going crazy over lately. Of course, you had to be the one to take notes that day. You enjoyed the fair share of responsibilities your company had, but sometimes you really missed having a little secretary to do the little jobs for you. 
You sighed as your nails tapping on the keyboards accompanied the voice of the speaker. 
“There will be a few main rides we’ll be responsible for. Our engineers are great and I have huge trust in you all. For this task, you’ll have to work with the architecture team though.” 
Your typing stopped. A few of your colleagues murmured. Engineers were usually complete individuals. They could build rides for a theme park themselves with no need from the weirdos of the other office. They usually needed the engineers, never the opposite. 
“I think we’re capable of working on this on our own, sir,” you said.
The man sighed as if he expected the resistance. 
“This is just to ensure the theme park will also be-” he hesitated, “pretty.” 
The murmurs got louder. 
“Sir, you’ve seen my portfolio,” someone argued. 
“I designed a theme park on my own for my final university project and last year I-” somebody else added. 
The man lifted his palms like a tired father. “I know, I know. And your work is ideal. It is, however, very boring. Ugly colours. Mechanical innovation, yes. Is it interesting to look at? No. You’ll work with the architects. Meeting closed.” 
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Jaehyun didn’t have to ask anyone why you all were mad as fuck after exiting the meeting hall. The rumour of the firm taking onto the project of a theme park has been whispered around in the CEO’s office for a few days now and he was lucky to have a charming personality and become friends with him. From the look on your face, you didn’t know and Jaehyun would have wanted to stop you and ask if you also wanted a coffee, maybe clown you a bit, but he didn’t manage to. He brought the white cup to his lips instead and blew the steam, going back with his mind to the Friday night, when you were doing the same. 
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Past, 2 weeks ago, the Kiss day
“Coffee so late at night?” Jaehyun asked, getting closer to the drinks table. You were resting your red-wrapped hips on it, looking bored. 
“I had too much to drink already. Trying to sober up,” you replied and your voice came so muffled that Jaehyun had to stop and look at your face. 
You weren’t bored. 
You were completely drunk. Absolutely shit-faced. 
That wasn’t the most surprising part though. Everyone was drunk at that office party. Jaehyun himself was feeling too lightheaded for his liking. It was something else. 
“Are you acting cute right now?” he asked with a mix of shock and amusement. 
Your lips were pouty on the brim of the cup you were holding. You shook your head. 
Then you tried to take another sip from the steamy coffee but your wavering hand missed your mouth and the dark liquid slowly descended from your chin towards your chest instead. 
“Shit,” you looked down at your dress.
“God, are you okay?” Jaehyun was quick to grab a napkin. “Did you burn yourself?” 
He took the cup from your hands and put it on the table behind you before gently tapping away at your neck. 
“No, it was just warm,” you assured him. “It’s very sticky though. Poured too much sugar. I’ll go wash up,” you announced and placed your palms on his chest to gently push him away from your path. Jaehyun watched your back as you tried to walk towards the corridor but the way you were dangling to one side and then the other in your high heels made his anxiety go through the roof. 
“Wait, I’ll help you,” he wrapped your shoulders with one arm. 
You hummed as if appreciative and Jaehyun blinked a few times, squinting then relaxing his eyes to try and read all the signboards and see where the hell the bathroom was on that floor. He was also almost shitfaced from the suspicious wine the office brought, but also, he forgot his glasses home that day. 
What a couple of losers you two were. 
“Listen, I think we need to go down a few floors. I have no idea where the hell the bathroom is here.” 
You hummed again and leaned with all of your weight against Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes were closed as if about to fall asleep. 
Jaehyun sighed, a little sarcastic “great” huffing from his chest. He let his arm fall from your shoulders to your waist for better support and he hit the lift button with his knuckles. It was fortunately already there and Jaehyun had to half drag you and half push you inside of it. For a moment he felt relieved, but then your weight pushed him against the wall and he had to wrap his arms around you again to not make you slide down. 
“Can you just hold yourself up for a second?” he felt irritated. 
But his expression relaxed as you lifted your face. Your half-closed eyes and open lips made him gulp.
“Can you smile for once? I really like your dimples,” you replied and poked one of his cheeks. 
Jaehyun was flabbergasted. The stuck-up, boring, and work-obsessed chief engineer was poking his cheek while her coffee-shined tits were pressed against his tie?  He felt like seeing you for the first time. 
“Ah, come on!” you added, grabbing his face with your hands and making him pout. “You never smile.” 
“I smile a lot, you just never look at me,” he tried to speak while your thumb was digging into his cheek. Unfortunately, he thought, but he kept that to himself. 
You tried to say something else but the ding of the elevator made Jaehyun look towards the opening doors towards a dark corridor. You turned his face towards you again and leaning in, you pressed a chaste kiss on his plump pink lips. 
Jaehyun’s eyes widened and although drunk, you looked surprised as well. “Shit, sorry,” you tried to take a step back but Jaehyun’s palms on your waist didn’t let you go. 
He slid one hand on your neck, right below the ear and pulled your face back to meet his lips again. You hummed, closing your eyes and firstly grabbed at his jacket before you finally decided to wrap his neck with your arms and abandon yourself in the kiss. Your lips tasted like sweet coffee and Jaehyun hoped it could sober him up as well because he felt suddenly very dizzy. And when you slid your tongue inside his mouth he almost moaned, letting his palms caress your spine before groping at your soft ass. Your body got even closer to his and he had to move just once to pin you against the elevator wall. You grunted and Jaehyun wondered if he pushed into you too harshly, but then you kissed him again as if you could not get enough and he relaxed, welcoming the leg you lifted on his hip. Your skin felt soft under his fingertips and it felt even softer under his lips as he started to kiss your jaw, going down your neck following the coffee trail and cleaning it up with his tongue until it reached the chest. Your eyes were closed and your hands in his hair were making his half-hard cock throb too much. With an enormous almost inhuman force he stopped, hands resting on both sides of your head, chest lifting and falling quickly. Your sensual gaze made him gulp and when you talked, he could barely hear it. 
“What?” 
“I said, what department are you from? Sales?” 
“I’m an architect. Jeong Jaehyun?” 
Your face fell so fast that Jaehyun had to take a small step back. 
“God,” you furrowed your eyebrows, “not an architect.” 
Jaehyun had to remain still for a few minutes after you left to process the whole situation. 
────────────
Past, Monday 1 after the Kiss
Monday morning came quicker than you expected and with it the memories of Jeong Jaehyun the architect’s tongue inside your mouth. The elevator you were taking was the same and with the corner of your eye, you could exactly pinpoint where he pushed you against the wall to give you the best make-out session of your whole life. You shuddered and looked away. You psyched yourself to forget everything the whole weekend, or at least, to stop worrying about it, but it was very hard when you knew you would end up seeing him at work. You tried to drink from the cup you were holding but the taste of coffee made your brain buzz with the memory of Jaehyun licking up the sweet and bitter liquid from the swell of your breasts as if he was doing it at that moment too. 
You really drunkenly kissed a coworker? An architect? Your university friends would probably laugh at you for the rest of their lives. 
You didn’t know much about him so you hoped that by not seeing him often every embarrassment would soon die out. 
But apparently, he knew a lot about you. 
The shoes you chose that day were flat and comfortable and you were quick to reach your desk and sit down, avoiding everyone that might have seen something. 
Clearing your throat you turned on your computer right before a shadow in the shape of a man could obscure the keyboard. 
You looked up and Jaehyun smiled politely, the head to the side like a little bird. 
“Good morning,” his voice was deep. 
You opened your mouth and you felt your glasses slide down your nose. “Good morning?” 
The man blinked at you for a moment as if waiting for something. “Well?” 
You slowly looked around, darting your gaze across the room to understand what the hell was going on. Was he there to talk about the kiss? Was he a little boy who thought you were dating? Did you promise something? Did you offend him and he was waiting for an apology?
“Do you need something?” you pushed your glasses back and gulped at his sudden chuckle. 
“Yes. The projects for today,” he replied with both hands politely extended towards you. 
“Huh?” 
You took in the view of the man talking to you. Wasn’t Jeong Jaehyun the architect dude with sick tongue skills, and that’s it? Why was he talking to you as if he knew you? 
Then you felt as if the gods themselves hit you in the back of your head. 
“You’re-” you covered your mouth with the fingers, “you’re Jisung?” 
The man’s smile disappeared to make space for confusion. He furrowed his eyebrows while thinking about what he could reply to that. 
“You do call me a different J name every time so, I guess that’s technically true for you.” 
You took off your glasses because you were afraid the sudden heat wave to your cheeks and chest could melt them off. 
“I thought you were-,” you started, “I thought you were some assistant. You’re the Architect team chief Jeong Jaehyun? The man that I kis-”, you stopped yourself. 
Jaehyun couldn’t conceal a sudden chuckle but you also saw the shadow of annoyance in his dark eyes. 
“You had no idea who I was all of this time we worked together? We talk all mornings and you hand me the projects.” 
You were too stunned to speak. 
“We’ve been doing this for months now,” he added. 
You felt your mouth dry. 
Jaehyun scoffed and placed his hands on your desk, leaning down as if having a secret to share. 
You gulped and looked around but no one paid you any mind. 
“You need Architects to make out with you for you to remember their name and face?” 
His whisper made your skin shiver and while you were previously looking at his eyes, you had to stare at his necktie instead after that phrase. 
“Why do you keep coming to my office? You have nothing else to do? Send some assistant over from now on,” you blabbed. 
Jaehyun straightened his back. 
“Okay.” 
You nodded as if you just somehow resolved that embarrassing issue. 
“You’ll come to my office starting tomorrow and hand me the projects instead.” 
“What?” your voice was louder than you expected and a few heads turned around. 
Jaehyun’s lips stretched in a lazy and cocky smile. “I’ll get them. For today,” he grabbed the pile of papers from your desk. “Thank you.” 
His back looked huge as he turned around and exited the office. 
────────────
Jaehyun was fuming. 
He threw the papers on his desk with such violence that two poor interns jumped in place with their little coffees. 
“Everything is under control. Go back to work and mind your business,” he barked at them. 
He forgot he styled his hair that morning and when he tried to pass one hand through the fringe his fingers got stuck in the wax. 
“For fuck’s sake,” he sat down and unbuttoned his sleeves instead, rolling them up. 
You really had no idea who he was. 
He was shocked, embarrassed, and so fucking offended. 
No, he felt humiliated. 
All of those mornings of him longing- no. He would not admit that to himself. All of those mornings of him working with you and you couldn’t even remember his name, let alone his face. 
Was everyone just a nameless and faceless pawn around you? He has never seen a more arrogant and rude person in his whole life. 
And the fact he was still burning with desire for such a conceited woman was driving him insane with rage. 
────────────
Your fingers were a bit trembling after Jaehyun left. That was possibly the most embarrassing experience of your entire existence. 
You rested your forehead on your palms and waited for a few minutes to see if you could get your shit together and start working. 
And you kissed. For fuck’s sake. 
The mewl that escaped your lips caught the attention of some fellow engineers who were kind enough to stop and ask if you had some sort of stomach ache. 
You lifted your head to look at them in the eyes and you realized you had no idea who these people were. 
Your parents have always told you to stop overworking yourself and start having a bit of fun too, especially in school. It shouldn’t have been such a huge issue, but realizing you made zero close friends or even acquaintances because you’ve been staring at your desk and computer for all of that time was a shocking realization. 
You cleared your throat and gave your coworkers the kindest smile you could pull off. 
“I am fine. Thank you very much.” 
The people whispered something between themselves and walked away with awkward nods. 
“She’s definitely sick. She smiled.” 
“You know when people are about to die and they change personality all of a sudden?”
“She never looked me in the eyes before. I felt like getting turned to stone after seeing Medusa.” 
You felt your glasses slide down your nose again at the gossip and you exhaled deeply. 
Jeong Jaehyun - and his tongue - made you realize people considered you the worst bitch in the universe. 
────────────
The HR secretary furrowed his eyebrows. 
“What do you mean, all profiles?” 
You were tapping your thigh with one fingertip in front of his desk. 
“I need all profiles of all workers in the company to choose the- uh- the best team for this huge important project, yeah.”
The young man wasn’t impressed but he wasn’t going to deny the desires of the notorious Chief Engineer. 
“I will send you the credentials to access the files, ma’am. Anything else I can do for you?” 
“Thank you. That’s all,” you gave him a small nod and turned around. “Actually,” you stopped in place and hesitated. “I know this is not your job but could you talk to someone and bring coffee to the Architets’ office?” 
The secretary blinked. “Coffee, ma’am?” 
You gulped down the irritation. “Yes, please. Don’t say it’s from me. Please.” 
────────────
“This coffee is a gift from Chief Engineer Y/N,” the HR secretary announced as he accompanied the interns carrying a tray. 
Jaehyun was groaning and extending his arms above his head when he suddenly heard the commotion. 
“I think she’s punishing us for something we did,” one person said, grabbing a cup of coffee and looking at it suspiciously. “This is also so expensive.”
“Well, even if she spit in it, I will drink it, you know what I mean,” another winked and got shoulder hit by his cackling friends. “What? She’s scary but she’s hot.” 
“She’d probably bite your dick off.”
Jaehyun got closer and stared down the iron tray. 
“You said Y/N sent this?” he asked the secretary who seemed just as baffled, Jaehyun realized. 
“Yes, sir.” 
“Did she say why?” Jaehyun grabbed a cup and smelled it. Normal coffee. 
“No clue sir. She instructed me to not tell you she sent it but-,” he interrupted himself and got closer. Jaehyun leaned towards him to hear. “-we need to track who’s giving what food to whom, you know. It’s right for you to know if perhaps something bad happens to all of you.” 
Jaehyun winced. The jokes about you being evil were funny only when he made them. 
“You don’t think she would actually do something to this coffee, right?” Jaehyun asked. 
The secretary straightened his back and although Jaehyun had no idea what expression he had on, the other man felt somehow intimidated because he stuttered a tiny “no, sir.” 
“Good. Why did she ask you to do this?” 
“Oh that, she came over to ask the profiles of all the people working at our company.” 
Jaehyun’s head was hurting. You were so convoluted. 
“Why?” 
“No clue, sir. She said something about making up a team.” 
You had no business reading the info of all of your coworkers for that. The idea of you wanting to learn more about him after the terrible interaction you had that morning made him roll his eyes in annoyance at how good it felt for a second. 
────────────
You felt like a thief although you got the info of everyone legally. You cleared your throat and started to scroll through all the profiles, mildly interested. You opened the first one and tried to read but then you puffed your cheeks and closed it. 
The J was in the middle and you pretended to have accidentally stumbled upon Jeong Jaehyun’s profile instead. 
Alright alright, you yelled at yourself in your mind. You were interested. God, his kiss was so good and his face, wow. You couldn’t forgive yourself for not looking at him once in all of those months. 
And you’ve been so rude to him. You shivered. 
Jeong Jaehyun 14 February 1997. 
You rolled your eyes. That birthday must have been made up. It’s impossible for a man like him to be a Valentine Boy. 
You tried to remember what you knew about Aquarius but your astrology knowledge was too limited so you hoped that would be compatible with your sign. 
Pause no. Why were you thinking about astrology compatibility? Maybe you were actually dying?
Tsk, graduated cum laude, the rascal. He wasn’t just pretty but also smart. 
Your eyes slowly darted across the page, eating up all the info the company could legally allow you to read and you had to admit that his projects had been insane even before coming to your company. 
And the ones he had under his belt afterwards? Well, they were all projects you also worked on. You felt sick. 
Were you really such a bad person?  
You sighed and closed his profile, starting to read the others. 
────────────
Jaehyun’s day has never felt longer. He thought he should probably go to the gym because the pain in his back was only getting worse and he should probably extend those muscles somehow. 
His brain was going over the menu for the dinner as well when he heard your voice in the main hall. He exited the lift and saw your smiling face greeting some of your fellow engineer colleagues. 
“Good work today, Minnie.” 
Poor Minnie smiled back as if the queen herself greeted her and almost tripped against the poor man who got blinded by your sudden kindness. 
Jaehyun stopped in place and sighed, trying to suppress the cackle. 
“See you tomorrow, ma’am,” the man added. 
“Have a nice evening, Yeonjun.” 
Jaehyun lifted one eyebrow at Yeonjun’s glossy eyes and walked over. 
He saw you sigh and turn around right into his chest. 
“I see you’ve done your homework.” 
You gasped and took a step back to be able to see him in the face.
“Do you remember my name too?” Jaehyun added with a cocky smile and you exhaled, crossing your arms on your chest. 
“Of course, I do.” 
Jaehyun buttoned up his jacket with a smile. “Good. Don’t forget to come to my office with the projects tomorrow.” 
“Listen,” you stopped him as he tried to walk around you. “I am- sorry for what happened this morning. I am very embarrassed about it.” 
You couldn’t look him in the eyes and Jaehyun had to tighten his fist inside his pants pocket at how cute you looked. 
“But-” you lifted your gaze on him. It was piercing. “-you have no right to treat me like this.” 
“Like this how?” 
“You’re punishing me.” 
Jaehyun opened his mouth then closed it at the accusation. It was true but he didn’t like for you to know about it. 
“I am not.” 
“You are.” 
“Coming to my office and seeing my pretty face is a punishment in your opinion?”
You put your tongue in the cheek with a scoff. “This. You’re- so cocky. You’re annoying.” 
Jaehyun’s dimples made an appearance. “You think I’m annoying? You didn’t know who I was after months of working together. That’s annoying.” 
“I apologized.” 
“Very insincerely so.” 
“I learned everything about you.” 
“Stalker.” 
You scoffed again, putting your hands on your hips. His everlasting smile was driving you nuts. 
“Alright. See you tomorrow, then. In your office. I’ll gladly hand you your work as you clearly burn with desire for me to do.” 
────────────
Back to Present, 2 weeks after the Kiss
The following days rolled on fairly easily. The annoyance and anxiety about going to Jaehyun’s office died slowly as you realized you only had to walk over, say hi, and place papers on his desk. 
If he thought you were rude by not small talking it wasn’t worse than not remembering his name and face after months of working together. 
Everything went back to normal and you started to be also decently popular in your office. Shocker, but if the chief is in a good mood and treats everyone with kindness, everyone works more efficiently. That’s the only good thing Jaehyun brought into your life. 
Well, that was until that day and the stupid yellow Post-it sticker on your desk. 
“Can you kindly check these and confirm they’re okay? JJ :)”  was still in front of you on your desk after the meeting about the Theme Park. 
There’s no need to be rude to me only because you think I’m attractive, was also still rolling in your brain and you wanted to go back to his office and yell that he was not attractive at all. He was just an annoying prick who had the upper hand because you embarrassed yourself in front of him once. 
But there were limits to all and he was starting to be too much. 
────────────
Jaehyun expected an Engineers and Architects meeting to happen at a certain point but he didn’t expect for it to be only the two of you. 
“So, I guess you’ve heard but we’re tasked to work together on a theme park.” 
You were alone in the huge meeting hall, one in front of the other, the large shiny desk separating you. Jaehyun looked at your white button down snuggly covering your breasts and the tiny bit of lace adorning your bra pocking out made him swallow dryly for the fourth time in one minute. 
“Yes,” he simply said. You moved and the shirt covered the lace. He sighed. “We can finally have a pretty theme park.” 
You rolled your eyes and Jaehyun wondered if you’d roll them the same way while he’d pound you into the mattress. 
His crush on you has been annoying him for a while now, but the recent development and the fact you didn’t even know who he was for a long time while he was under the impression that you might fuck soon has been a very low blow to his self-esteem. 
Now, he was trying to fight the attraction so badly but his cock had a brain of his own apparently because even if he found you arrogant and annoying, he really liked the soft side you showed him multiple times and that turned him on too much to ignore. 
“Engineers also have taste.” 
“Well you kissed me so I guess you do have a bit of taste, I’ll give you that.” 
You let the pen go and crossed your arms on your chest. “Can’t you keep it in your pants for one second so we can discuss this like normal adult coworkers?” 
“It is in my pants.” 
“You’re being inappropriate.” 
“You brought up cock talk.” 
“You brought up kiss talk.” 
“You kissed me first.” 
Jaehyun smiled at the victory and you leaned back in the chair. 
“Can we please stop talking about that and pretend it never happened?” 
“Actually you owe me another apology.” 
You waited with a lifted eyebrow. 
“You basically said ew architects after kissing me that night.” 
You scoffed. “And I stand by that. I’m not apologizing. Are baby architect’s feelings hurt?” 
Jaehyun licked his lower lip in annoyance. “Why?” 
“Why what?” 
“Why do you hate architects so much?” 
“Why do you hate engineers?” you resorted. 
“I don’t hate you.” 
“You do.” 
He lowered his voice. “I don’t. You want me to hate you, maybe.” 
“Why would I want that?” 
“That’s your homework for the day. Think about it.” 
“If you’re under the impression that I pretend to hate you because I secretly like you so I secretly would like for that to be the case from your part too, well, you’re wrong,” you smiled although you started to feel the muscles of your thighs shake ever so slightly under the desk. The building was almost empty and the lights were getting turned off one by one leaving you and Jaehyun alone in the huge room, faces illuminated by the blue screens of the computers and the constellation of lights of the skyline. 
“That’s a very convoluted thought. Of course, you don’t like me. You don’t even know me.” 
“You can stop rubbing that in. I know you now.” 
“Well, then it’s a matter of time before you start liking me.” 
“You’re so arrogant.” 
“I am arrogant?” 
“Well, I don’t have the presumption that everyone in the building is onto me.” 
“How do you even know I’m like that? You don’t know me.” 
“You walk around like you have a 9 inches cock.” 
Jaehyun widened his eyes for a second then leaned forward to laugh. His eyes closed and his perfect teeth shone on display. You realized he got whiskers when laughing hard. It pissed you off. 
“And if I do?” he tried. 
You scoffed with a smile. “That’s not human.” 
“9 is a lot, I’ll give you that, but it's not inhuman.”
“Well, I hope you don’t have 9 because I’d be worried about your lower back carrying that around.” 
“Holy shit, I do have back problems. You think it’s that?” 
“For fuck’s sake, Jeong Jaehyun. Please let’s get back to work.” 
Jaehyun stopped talking and you started to actually explain the new project. You both liked the little smile that remained on each other’s lips. 
────────────
Jaehyun was not at his desk that morning so you bit your lower lip, slowly putting down the files for the day. You had no reason to see each other or talk about anything else since both teams had to work on their share of tasks before meeting again but you just wanted to- you had no idea what.
You looked around and touched a few of his desk items before noticing his phone silently blowing up. You looked around the office to see if he was coming but he was nowhere to be seen. The walk around the desk felt natural but also stealthy and you hoped no one was looking at you. You sat in his chair and the jacket he kept on it smelled like him. 
You sighed. Ew men and their hot cologne, right? 
The phone’s screen had no time to turn off as text notifications rolled on the screen again and again underneath your gaze. You wondered if he was part of many active groupchats before realizing they were all private messages both from registered numbers and numbers with no name. 
You felt your throat itchy upon realizing they were mostly from women trying to chit-chat. You scoffed, staring the phone down. He was that popular huh? And he wasn’t replying to any of them? He was so arrogant-
“Fuck!” you whimpered, bringing one hand to the back of your neck and finding someone’s cold knuckles. “What do you think you’re-” you grabbed the hand and turned around. Jaehyun’s perfect eyebrow was lifted. 
“What are you doing at my desk?” he asked, interrupting your question. 
“I came to give you the files,” you stood up and looked at your hand still holding his fingers. You let them go in the same instant. 
He hummed and sat down before realizing you were still there. “Is there something I can do for you?” he turned towards you in his chair. 
You cleared your throat. “I need your phone number.” 
You had no idea why you said that but it was too late. You tried to maintain a neutral face.
Jaehyun’s expression didn’t tell you anything about what he thought. 
“You have it. It’s written on the file all workers have-” 
“Your personal cellphone number,” you interrupted him. 
The man’s eyes were piercing but you didn’t want to look away. Your brain was running quickly to make up some excuse about why you wanted it but he didn’t ask. 
He extended one arm to reach the pen holder and got one, clicking it. When he turned around he searched for your hand, the same holding his fingers before, and grabbed it gently, palm towards his face. 
“Why are your hands so cold?” you mumbled as he started to scribble on your skin. 
“Because my heart is warm,” he replied without missing a beat. “Also, I just washed them.” 
You rolled your eyes, watching him write his number slowly. His fingers were on your pulse and you hoped he could not feel how quick it was starting to get. Why was he writing on your hand instead of a piece of paper? And why didn’t you just take your hand away? Being around him made you feel and act stupid.
One strand of hair fell from his hairdo, obscuring his eyes from your gaze, but then he finished and looked up at you, the neck extended showing a single vein popping out from his tight collar. 
“There you go,” he added. 
You slid your hand from his hold and fought the urge to tighten it in a fist as if to hide something shameful. 
“Thank you,” you replied and exited the office. 
────────────
That night you were at your home desk, head in hands, trying to come up with a problem about the project you could text Jaehyun about. 
Everything could be an email and bothering coworkers outside of working hours was abhorrent, but he was Jaehyun and you didn’t care if he got mad at you. 
No. You wanted him to get mad at you. But why?
You couldn’t think of anything at all so you let your phone go and walked towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. 
Last time you got drunk you kissed him, you remembered. The glass was cold and the wine fresh and you tried to drown the memories of his lips on yours because they made you shiver in embarrassment. Or desire? 
Your growling stomach communicated the need for a snack too but the only thing you could think of making were chicken nuggets so you threw them on an oven tray and hoped for the best. 
When Jaehyun heard his phone ring he was about to jump on the bed, kicking his feet and giggling before realizing he was a grown man with cock and balls. 
“Hello?” he talked into it calmly, after clearing his voice. He knew you'd call after that awkward encounter in his office and he paced the apartment the whole evening.
“Hey,” your voice on the other line sounded muffled. “You answer surprisingly well for someone that gets calls and texts from women 24/7.” 
Jaehyun smiled and sat on the bed. “So this is what it was about, huh.” 
You didn’t reply for a moment and he desperately wanted to know what expression you had on. 
“I’m calling because of an issue with the project,” you mumbled after a bit. 
“Y/N,” Jaehyun called calmly. 
“Yes.”
“Are you drunk?” 
“I am not drunk. I am working right now!” 
“Every time you’re drunk you think of me?” 
“I said I am not drunk.” 
Jaehyun kept ignoring you. “Well, you can’t deny it’s a weird coincidence.” 
“Fuck-” you suddenly said and Jaehyun stopped talking. 
“Oh, shit-” you repeated and dropped your phone, probably on the ground. 
“Y/N, what’s happening?” 
Jaehyun could not make sense of any of the sounds on the other side but it didn’t seem anything good. 
“Y/N, everything is fine?” he spoke again but you probably couldn’t hear him. 
“My fucking nuggets-” he heard your whimper as if far away and the moment the smoke detector went off and you mumbled something about a fire extinguisher Jaehyun got his shoes and ran outside his apartment. 
────────────
Your voice got cut off as soon as you opened the door after the endless incessant doorbell rings from someone clearly very panicked. You opened and his arms were so strong that your breath went missing and you were forced to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck by the sheer force of his embrace. You’ve never seen him with soft unstyled hair and the worried expression underneath his fringe just made him even cuter. 
“You’re just-,” you heard Jaehyun’s deep voice on the crown of your head, “-so fucking stupid.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows but he went on. 
“So irresponsible. I am shocked at how you could have let your fucking oven burn when you have the brains to build a whole city.” 
“I was distracted,” you spoke softly into his shirt. It smelled like laundry detergent. His mix of insults and compliments weirdly made you giggle.
Jaehyun let you go and grabbed your face with both hands, finally looking at you frantically and squishing your cheeks. 
“I am okay,” you assured him. “Everything is under control.” 
The man sighed deeply as if slightly placated but the line between his eyebrows didn’t get smoothed out. And when he finally looked behind you and assessed the tragic situation of your burned-out oven covered in white foam he had to close his eyes for a moment to gather his shit. 
“It’s okay! It was an old oven anyway,” you turned around, trying to ignore that he was still holding your hand. 
“Your house could have burned down with you in it.”
“How do you even know where I live? And you called me the stalker?” you confronted him. 
“It’s written in your profile.” 
He let go of your hand and got closer to the kitchen, looking at the mess with hands on the hips like the embodiment of a dad. It made your guts tingle. 
“Sure. And you know all the addresses of all of your coworkers,” you followed him, resting your elbows on the island. 
“Of course, I don’t. I don’t like them. Stop talking nonsense and let’s clean this out.” 
You had no idea in what capacity you helped because at a certain point Jaehyun just gave you a glass of water and told you to sit down. 
You didn’t feel that well. 
Both because you were kinda tipsy and you went through all stages of grief putting out a fire, but also because he was there, and he said he liked you. Right? Jung Jaehyun said he liked you. 
And not only. 
"I know you're capable of dealing with this alone. You don't need my help but I'd like to help," he said as you tried to push him to the side and clean the mess yourself. No one talked like that before and a weird fuzzy sensation softened the muscles in your legs making you sit down. 
You sipped on the water without talking back, staring at the way his forearms were flexing while cleaning out your oven and the surroundings.
“No need to be meticulous. They’re coming tomorrow to change it anyway,” you tried, feeling awkward as no one did you any favours before. 
Jaehyun didn’t reply and you realized he looked very handsome when focused. Well, not that he was ugly when unfocused, but the way his jaw looked sharper and his gaze darker made you sigh and take another sip of water. 
“Is your hair bothering you? I can give you a headband,” you tried again. 
“You are bothering me.” 
You scoffed. “I am trying to be nice right now. Your hair is pretty long. Doesn’t it go in your eyes?” 
You were expecting some witty flirty reply back, along the lines of you pushing it back for him, but Jaehyun didn’t look in the mood. 
The truth was that you felt very embarrassed about the situation; as if you failed at something and Jaehyun was scolding you. That was new for you. 
“Fuck, this could have been a tragedy,” he mumbled, as if almost on cue. 
“I am sorry to have worried you.” 
Jaehyun stopped to look at you. “Why are you apologising to me? You’re the one surviving a fire.” 
“But I am okay. You seem much more shaken than me.” 
Jaehyun kept silent and when he stood up you realized he finished cleaning up the foam and the dark burning spots. You stared at the back of his head as he washed his hands in the sink. 
“Also thank you for being here,” you added. You didn’t know what else to do so you got up and walked towards him. Was a hug weird? Should you just shake his hand and call him a pal? 
His body stiffened a bit feeling your timid arms around his waist. “You’re still drunk?” he simply said, patting his hands dry with your kitchen towel.  You stopped and slid them away. 
“You said you like me,” you mumbled against his back. 
“Yep, still very drunk.” 
He grabbed your hands to be able to turn around and face you, resting his hips against the kitchen cabinet. 
“You said there were issues about the project when you called,” he added. 
You blinked at him. “You really want to talk about work right now?” 
Maybe he did. He was your coworker after all. And he certainly didn’t come over to “save” your sorry ass if you didn’t call him about it. 
Suddenly you felt very embarrassed. 
You kissed the man in an elevator after not even remembering his name and then asked for his number and now you wanted to make out with him in front of your destroyed oven? 
You gulped and took a small step back but your breath stopped as his hands holding yours grabbed your waist instead and didn’t let you move away too much. 
“I am buying some time,” he explained. 
Your voices got so low that you barely could hear him, but your gaze on his lips helped you understand what he was talking about. 
“Are you scared to kiss me again?” you asked. 
“Are you going to ask me to forget it happened Monday morning again?” 
His fingers were delicate on your skin for a moment you remembered you were wearing your pajamas. The thin top definitely didn’t hide anything from his gaze and the midriff being exposed to his knuckles made you shiver. 
“I won’t ask to do that if you don’t make it awkward.” 
“Fucking your coworker is always awkward.” 
You blinked at him as if suddenly realizing you were standing half naked between your hot coworker’s thighs (who was an architect!!) “I didn’t say I was planning to fuck. Just-uhm kiss.” 
Jaehyun smiled and your eyes darted to his dimples then back to the white flash of his teeth. 
“You think you’ll be able to stop after one single kiss?” 
You stepped back and crossed your arms on your chest to feign confidence but mostly to hide the tremor in your arms. "Try me."
Jaehyun took a moment to let his gaze slide on your features. “You get very cute when you’re drunk, you know that?” 
“Well, to quote someone, I guess the stick I have up my ass disappears.” 
“I can put it ba-”
You put your fingers on his lips. “You will not continue that disgusting phrase,” you warned. 
Jaehyun smiled wider and his lips rubbed on your skin. He kissed the spot then he kissed one of the fingertips. You inhaled, eyes trained on his gaze, unable to move away anymore as the room suddenly got sucked of any sound besides your own breath. 
He grabbed that hand and kissed your wrist, this time closing his eyes for a moment as if savouring it. You gulped. And when he locked eyes with you the shiver that went down your spine manifested in a little exhale. Jaehyun smiled again, a little curve on his plump lips you felt on the softness of your fingers. 
The kiss felt the same as the first one you exchanged in the elevator after he pulled you closer towards himself. But this time you took your sweet time, letting your palms feel his chest, the skin on his neck, the thick hair on his nape. He did the same, caressing your back with his knuckles, rubbing your thighs with his blunt nails, and grabbing your ass in your flimsy shorts. 
You whimpered in his mouth at the feeling and he hummed back, a low sound, almost a growl, your lips apart but tongues still swirling until you dove back in. 
“Can’t you be like this in the office too?” his murmur made your eyes open. He was licking his lips while his fingers intertwined with yours in a slow dance of pushing you back towards the couch. 
“You want me to get called by HR?” 
He flashed you a small chuckle. “That secretary is so scared of you by the way. He thought you poisoned the coffee.” 
The couch’s arm dug into your thighs and you sat on it, pulling Jaehyun closed by the waistband of his sweats. His eyelashes fluttered as you looked up at him, then again as you dragged your palm upwards underneath his shirt. 
“And you think I didn’t?” you tilted your head to the side. 
“I am still alive.” 
“Not for too long. I might suck the life out of you," you placed a single wet kiss on his hip bone making him hiss. “Take this off,” you tugged at the shirt. 
Jaehyun’s hum was low. “Shit. Ordering me around?”
You looked up. “Please take this off?” you changed your tone but you couldn’t hide the mockery. 
He exhaled amused and did it in a second, pulling it by the collar and throwing it on the ground. But you didn’t have time to do what you intended to because the torso you so desperately wanted to see disappeared from your sight - Jung Jaehyun Chief of the Architect Department fell on his knees, savouring the delicate skin of your inner thigh. 
You gasped at the sensation and the anticipation of what was actually going to happen made you suddenly dizzy. 
You wanted to grab his hair to support yourself, physically or morally, but his head jerked back and with the most angelic and devilish smile, he pushed you back on the couch. 
“You should be respectful,” you chuckled at the manhandling. "I'm a senior." 
Jaehyun grabbed your ankles with one hand as a reply while the other swiftly slid your garments off your body. “I will be respectful after I am done,” he murmured. “For now you will have to take the disrespect, I’m afraid.”
You tried to think of a witty phrase but your legs were being directed on his shoulders, his knees were on the carpet in front of you now and his voice came from between your thighs. Oh, and you were naked. 
Too much work for your brain. 
“Thought you were a gentleman.” You didn't like your shaky voice. You didn’t like any of this. Didn’t you make some kind of bet just moments before? You forgot anything you two said to each other already. 
“I am a gentleman who knows when to not be gentle.”
And you soon realized what that meant. 
You had no idea if other men's tongues have felt that velvety before or if you were just developing the fattest crush on Jeong Jaehyun the Architect as he was devouring you and making you biased. But fuck he knew how to eat pussy. And you made sure he knew that. 
Jaehyun hummed appreciatively at the praise, his deep eyes covered by his long eyelashes making you unable to look away. So you slid your hand in his luscious hair, pushing it away from his face and pulled a bit. His arms and back muscles flinched and he visibly enjoyed your breathy moans when he increased the pace of his tongue's movement. 
"Shit, Jaehyun-" you curled your toes against the smooth skin of his spine then gasped, feeling his long fingers rub your slick before swiftly sliding inside of you. It was wet and messy and loud and the moment he let go of your clit with a dirty plop to start kissing your stomach instead you knew that night wasn't going to end with just that. Should you stop him? Should you continue? Would you be okay tomorrow? 
"Where are you?" Jaehyun curled his fingers and you bit your lower lip. 
"I'm here," you replied against his wet lips, body rocking back and forth on the couch as he fingerfucked you, the veins popping on his bicep making you swallow dryly. 
"I need you to focus on me. What are you thinking about?" he leaned down to rub his nose against your ear before outlining it with his tongue. 
You shivered underneath him and your nails probably left some indents in his pristine skin. 
"About how much I want your cock inside of me," you exhaled. That was the truth. 
Jaehyun hummed deeply and his breath became more shallow. 
"And?" he kissed your neck slowly, so different from the pace of his wrist to make you dizzy. 
"And I'm thinking of the consequences," you curved your spine, raising the tone of your voice on the last syllables. "Fuck, Jeong, this is-"
"Yeah?" he came back to your mouth, letting you whimper your moans against his lips. "You want me to stop then? No orgasm, no consequences."
"If you stop-"
"Then what?" 
You shuddered, frantically palming his hard chest then going down to loosely grab his moving wrist. 
"Are you going to beg for it? I'm kinda curious to see you like that," he added. The roughness in his already deep voice sealed the deal and you couldn't do anything but let your head fall back and bite down a scream as you came around Jaehyun's fingers. It was too late. It was already too late the moment you pushed him against the damn elevator wall. 
He let you decide when he should stop moving his fingers and you felt yourself clench rhythmically around them as you desperately tried to calm down. His lips were on your throat and you realized that he was talking, murmuring something so sweetly that for a moment you wished for him to just hold you until you fell asleep. 
"Good girl," he placed a kiss on the tender skin, then on the corner of your lips as you opened your eyes to look at his gorgeous face. His cheeks and ears were dusty pink and it made your heart skip a beat. 
You pulled him down and kissed him again, slowly and deeply. Then he smiled, stopping your hand from reaching underneath his sweatpants. 
"Tonight is all about you," he whispered. 
You furrowed your eyebrows but the mind-blowing orgasm blew your mind so well that you had no reply. 
"Why?" Your voice was a quiet waver. 
"I don't want you to regret anything," he replied. "And I don't want you to think about the consequences." 
Somehow it made sense. Waking up tomorrow and realizing you let him fuck you with his tongue felt better than realizing he came down your throat. 
Were you really that proud? Maybe you did have a stick up your ass. 
"Don't argue with me," he gave you a crooked smile as he got up on his knees. 
"I'm not arguing with you."
"You have a specific look in your eyes when you're about to debate me." 
You crossed your arms on your chest mostly to cover up given the sudden disappearance of his body from on top of you. Then you sat up and closed your legs. 
"That's not true. You're making things up." 
Jaehyun collected his shirt with another smile and you stared at his long back and the way his sweatpants sat low on his hips. 
The fucking consequences. 
"I really need you though," you whispered. 
Jaehyun wore his top. "How do you want me?"
"Riding," you replied. 
He chuckled. "Of course you do. You can't possibly let an architect force you to your knees, can you?."
You curled your toes at his words. "No, sir." 
Yes, he fucking could. 
Jaehyun leaned down again to slide his hand on your jaw and almost kiss you. But he whispered instead. 
"I'll let you ride me if you keep calling me sir." 
────────────
You didn't notice when Jaehyun left your apartment that night. You thought that the way he took you to your bed bridal style and let you nuzzle into his chest would roam your brain the whole night and would prevent you from falling asleep yet you had the best night's sleep in months.
And you hated to admit it but waking up that morning you felt embarrassed out of your mind but you'd probably have crawled out of your skin if you actually fucked him until the end.
"Hope you got home well," you texted him. Maybe that was how adults did stuff. Maybe that’s what he wanted from you in the first place. Just fucking. Yet why was he so considerate? 
"Yes :)", he replied with his stupid smiley face a second after. Was he not busy? How did he even see your texts in the middle of the hundred he was getting? That made you almost kick your feet and you realized you were slowly descending into madness. 
"And I slept as well as you did after taking care of your gift," he added. 
You furrowed your eyebrows. "What gift?"
"My boner" 
You sighed so much that you thought you had turned into a horse. Then you had to pass one hand on your face as flashes of Jaehyun's hand fucking his cock while thinking of you entered your brain. 
"It was you who stopped me from taking care of it myself." He was driving you insane. Your coworker - an architect (!!!). 
"I wasn't blaming you :)" 
"You're a bit of a masochist"
"I'm everything when I'm with you" 
"Barf"
"Honestly I thought you wouldn't even want to talk to me today" 
"Well we both know that you have poor judgement" 
"Maybe I should have let you ride after all :)" 
"Okay byee I'm turning off my phone" 
"Or suck me well"
"I'm blocking this number" 
"Or let me blow your back" 
"Sending this to HR" 
"Andy, if you're reading this, the Chief Engineer let me fuck her with my tongue and she liked it"
────────────
Texting and fooling around was one thing, but seeing his polished figure while sober and in the middle of the workplace made you almost have a panic attack.
"Good morning," you trilled, hands already pushing the files on his desk. 
"Hey," he lifted his face and gave you a warm but professional smile. 
"See you around," you nodded once and turned towards the exit hoping not to hit the glass door with your face. 
He let you go.
Then you came back the day after. And again. And again. No further exchange. Give papers. Take papers. See his face. Lose your mind at night with your hand between your legs and his name on your lips.
Then your name, pronounced by those lips you’ve been staring at as he pretended to sleep the previous weekend, made you stop in place and close your eyes. You swallowed and got ready to turn around. 
He was already there, standing right behind you and you inhaled his cologne as you took a step back. 
His shirt was open enough for his collarbone to peek through and the way his half-exposed arms looked, crossed on his chest, made you almost angry. 
“Would you like to have lunch together?” he asked. 
You lifted your gaze to meet his eyes the looked around his figure. Jaehyun smiled, tilting his head to the side to get in the middle of your gaze. 
“Don’t look at them. Look at me,” he added. 
“It’s easy for rumours to start forming,” you murmured, imitating his pose. Your fingers grabbed your arms perhaps a bit too hard. 
“It’s just a normal lunch.” 
“I don’t do normal lunches. It would look weird.” 
“At least you’re self-aware.” 
You snorted and turned around. “The last floor is always empty,” you only said as you walked away. 
────────────
Jaehyun didn’t actually expect you to be there. Somehow he thought the way your voice would waver when he was around, or the way you melted under his touch back in your apartment, the noises that you made because of him, all because of him, was just some incredibly orchestrated big joke. You didn’t try to speak to him after that weekend and you didn’t linger around his desk anymore. Hell, you didn’t even text him. 
He had to do something or he would go insane. 
Yet you were in the last room of the upper floor, sitting down on the only couch inside of it, staring at your little plastic container with your lunch and waiting for him. 
You were adorable. 
He had to stop in place before entering to gather his shit. 
Then he knocked two times on the glass frosted door and your head snapped. Your eyes looked so pretty that he felt his fingertips tickle. 
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” you replied. 
Jaehyun closed the door behind him and he could sense the way your spine tensioned. He wanted to pass his palm on it, he wanted you to curve it as he’d grab your neck to pull you up against his chest as he’d pound into you from behind again and again until you’d break. 
“What have you got?” he walked slowly and sat down. The couch was sturdy enough. He made a mental note. 
You looked down at your container as if seeing it for the first time. “Cold pasta. What about you?” 
Jaehyun licked his lips. There you were, looking at him as if hoping for him to devour you. 
"Don't look at me like that."
You closed your mouth. “Like what?” you smirked.
He exhaled. 
"Should I close my eyes then?" you giggled. 
Jaehyun opened his lips to breathe and your gaze fell on them.
"Do you know what would keep my eyes closed?" you asked with a lower voice.
The man's eyes darkened and a whiff of air dilated his nostrils as he leaned in and knocked the air out of your lungs. The kiss was rough and its rhythm erratic. His palms were on your jaw and cupping your head. Yours were on his chest, grabbing at his shirt. You had no idea where your food containers disappeared because suddenly your hands were full of him and your legs straddling his body as he plopped you on his lap. 
You opened your eyes a little when you felt him pull away to let you breathe, the air flowing between your lips still brushing against each other. You looked at them, they were flushed and plump and you desperately needed to taste them again. His gaze was on your eyes and his deep voice surprised you.
"You opened them again." His voice was so deep that you felt it vibrating in your chest. 
You met his eyes.
"I guess you'll have to keep kissing me, then."
His palms on your waist felt wide and so warm that when he slid them on your ass to pull you closer you felt like mewling. Close so close it was so close and you were at work. You were kissing at work. You were sitting on his lap, on his sexy black dress pants, fingers sliding in the slit of his shirt, feeling his chest, his neck, his jaw, his hair. Fuck. 
“We need to slow down,” you exhaled, pulling yourself away from him.
“Why? You’re afraid you’re going to cum too quickly?”
His arms wrapped around you even tighter and his amused and warm mouth attached to your throat instead. You felt your eyes roll back in your head as he nibbled on your skin, peppering wet kisses all over it. And when he scooted his hips forward, his palms on your ass pulling you closer until your chest hit his face, you inhaled feeling his hard cock underneath you. Jaehyun looked up, drinking in your reaction. 
“Show me how much you want this. Show me that you don’t care about the damn consequences.”
Like a spell, your hips started to move on their own, rubbing yourself on him. You were desperate, humping him like a mad woman and his choked moan as he let his head fall back on the couch, extending his throat, was the final thing about his maddening presence to fully break your mind.
"Does it feel good, sir?" you didn't hide the mockery in your tone, feeling your control sliding back in your hands. 
But then Jaehyun shattered it again.
"Ride me."
His eyes were two dark cuts under his scrunched eyebrows and his command made your whole center boil. You stopped your movements and you shuddered on top of him. 
His chest was expanding and shrinking under your palms and when you pushed into it to be able to stand his Adam apple shifted in his throat as he swallowed. 
"Undress me."
Your order made his tongue poke his inner cheek and you smirked, mirroring his expression.
Jaehyun sat closer to the edge of the couch to reach your body and your skin shivered with goosebumps the moment his long fingers unbuttoned your pants. His gaze never shifted away from your face and it made you boil with need. 
The fabric hit the floor and you scooted it to the side, the pant legs so wide your heels just passing through, leaving you and your naked and elongated legs for Jaehyun to touch with his wide palms. They were warm as they slid up your thighs, your breath hitching as you looked at his open lips, his own breath stuck in his lungs and released only when he pulled you towards him. 
You bit your lower lip, feeling his mouth on your stomach, and then you let your head fall back as his fingers trailed your sides, lifting your top until reaching your breasts. You lifted your arms and Jaehyun stood for a moment to help the fabric away from your limbs and before you could kiss him, he sat down, with your between his knees, and unclipped your bra. You gulped, helping yourself stand by placing your hands on his wide and firm shoulders. 
“This is so inappropriate,” you whispered, muffling a whine as Jaehyun kneaded your soft breasts, looking at the skin fill the gaps between his fingers. 
“Yeah? Is being naked like this in front of me making your sweet pussy achy and wet?” Jaehyun’s deep voice made your stomach shiver as he spoke on your skin, trailing open wet kisses down your navel.
You were about to reply, your hazy brain still able to formulate some snarky comment, but when his hands cupped your ass, and one slid to your thigh to lift it on his shoulder, your hearing flatlined. You felt your underwear being pushed to the side and his luscious tongue making you gasp. 
“Jaehyun-” you felt your legs suddenly wobbly and his grip on your body tightened, his mouth licking and sucking at your clit making you grab his perfectly coiffed hair and pull. 
His groan travelled inside of you and his blunt nails dug into your soft skin before he let you go, sporting shining lips and heavy breath. 
He didn’t speak, and he only grinned as he sat back on the couch, his arrogant face making you quiver almost as much as his tongue inside of you. He patted his lap. 
You scoffed trying to hide a laugh but before you could roll your eyes at him, his hands were on your waist, making you sit flush against him. 
“If you dare to roll your eyes at me, I’ll give you a real reason to do that,” he murmured against your lips. 
You kissed him, deeply and messily, grabbing the short hairs at his nape with one hands, and cupping his balls with the other, making him hiss. 
“Oh yeah?” you whispered back, massaging him through the tight dress pants he was wearing. 
His adam apple bobbed in his throat but his eyes shone with mischief. He nodded, not for one second intimidated. It infuriated you. 
So you undid his button and slid his zip down, feeling the wetness of his precum adorning his expensive boxers. 
“And yet, look who made a mess,” you cooed, sliding your hand underneath the elastic band and making him close his eyes and extend his neck back. 
“God,” he groaned. 
He was long and thick, his skin velvety and soft, hot with need. You jerked him with your hand slowly, swallowing at the thought of having him inside of you, splitting you apart. 
Maybe you made a sound, or maybe he saw your expression as you opened his eyes but he smiled faintly. 
“Come on, end this torture. You want me as badly as I want you, chief engineer,” he said. And you would have had another ounce of brat in you if only he didn’t say the following things. Just one word, and it made you dizzy with desire.
“Please,” he murmured. 
Your hand shook as you felt his bigger one on top of yours, directing his pretty cock towards your aching core. You let it go and Jaehyun aligned himself, lifting his gaze with a heavy breath to see your lustful expression as you sat on it slowly. 
You both exhaled, his deep growl and your higher pitched breathy sound, until you reached the base, his girth making you see stars. 
“Good girl, take it all,” he breathed out, letting you adjust. 
“Fuck, Jaehyun-” you gulped, feeling your skin hot, as you lifted yourself once before sinking deep down again. 
He hissed, “I know, baby, I know.”
The petname worked as a spell, throwing you into a fast haze, riding his cock as deep as you could. Jaehyun wrapped one arm around your waist, while the other hand raised to shove his fingers inside your mouth. 
“I’d love for the whole company to hear how good my cock makes you feel, pretty girl, but we don’t want a call from HR, do we?” 
You gagged on them at first, then sucked, trying to turn down the noises you didn’t even realize you were making. 
And when your movements became sloppy and you felt on the verge of losing your mind, Jaehyun’s hips snapped, thrusting up inside of you and making you fist his pristine shirt. 
“That’s it, baby, take it like a good girl.” 
You let go of Jaehyun’s fingers to whine, but then you choked again as his wet hand warmly grabbed your throat instead, making you steady yourself on his wrist instead. 
“Fuck, just like that,” he pulled your body even closer to himself, squeezing your breasts against his expensive wristwatch. It would probably leave a bruise and for some reason the thought of being marked by Jaehyun made you quiver on his cock so hard that with a few deep thrusts you came undone, shaking in his arms and calling his name again and again and again. 
Jaehyun’s warm breath tickled your face and his muscles were pumped with tension as he forced his hips to still, feeling your clenching walls tighten around him rhythmically. 
“Baby, I need to cum or I’ll pop a fucking vein,” he chuckled breathlessly, the hand previously on your throat cupping your face instead. 
“Then cum inside of me,” you replied, ears still ringing from the raging orgasm. 
Jaehyun groaned and snapped, drilling into you so fast that you didn’t have enough force to fully oxygenize your lungs, his arms tightly around your soft body and his face buried in the crook of your neck. 
The sounds were dirty, the tall windows of the small office were getting foggy, and you wondered how long you’ve been fucking like rabbits over your lunch break when Jaehyun’s hips stilled, lifted ever so slightly from the couch, deep inside of you, and you felt on the verge of another orgasm seeing him dig his fingers into your flesh. 
“Fuck-” he exhaled, and you bit your lower lip, whimpering as you felt his spurts of cum coating your insides. Then his hips moved again, prolonging his high as much as he could, the vein on his forehead showing you just how much blood was pumping inside of him. 
You’ve never felt like that and you’ve never seen him lose control just as much as you did. 
“Jaehyun- I think I’ll-” you pressed your palms into his hard chest and he rested back on the couch, looking at your with dark eyes and plump lips. 
“Give me another one, beautiful,” he murmured, his cock sliding out of your and his fingers collecting the cum before shoving it back inside. 
“Shit-” you closed your eyes, losing yourself in the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of you and your spine curved making you bite your lower lip until almost tasting blood when he added his other hand, rubbing your sensitive clit. 
“I can’t-” you mumbled, “I can’t- please-”
“Yes, baby, cum all over my hands,” he urged, his gaze never leaving your face as if bewitched. 
And you did. 
────────────
You were grateful for Jaehyun not abandoning you in the office’s bathroom alone to clean up the mess you asked for but the one he did. 
“You know I can technically use my cock to take the cum out,” he tried again outside the door. 
You rolled your eyes amused. “I said, no thanks, I got it.”
“The tip is anatomically made so that a man is able to take out the cum a previous man-” he started to ramble but his words were cut off when you opened the door. He blinked staring at you and you noticed his ears were a dusty pink. 
“Do you always share fizzy drinks bottle cups facts when embarrassed?” you finished adjusting your clothes. 
He cleared his voice. “Do you think there would be sex facts on the cups of fizzy drinks? Also, why would I be embarrassed?” 
You crossed your arms on your chest for a moment, taking him in. 
“Do you perhaps have a little crush on me, Jung Jaehyun?” 
He scoffed, putting his hands in his pockets. “No.” 
You expected him to say that but the sudden confidence threw you off. 
He leaned in. “It’s not a small crush. I thought it was obvious.” 
He then straightened his back and opened the office door. “Come on, chief, I think we might get a call from HR anyway because we had a 3 hour long lunch.” 
You shook your head, trying to conceal the little giggle your body apparently wanted to let out. 
“You have too much faith in your skills. We went at it for like 15 minutes at best.” 
Jaehyun stopped in place and turned around slowly. 
You stopped too. 
And when he grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, giving your ass a good spank, the yell and laugh that escaped you was probably heard in the whole company. 
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