#if they are not facets of each other it doesn't make sense

[thekidsare-not-alright]

as a follow up on my last post I also want to add that to suggest bands/musicians like evanescence, avril lavigne, and green day joining the emo trinity is kind of missing the point and history of the emo trinity existing. it formed a trinity because usually if you liked one of those bands, you ended up liking the other two, or were in extremely similar circles (esp online). the term itself is from a specific era

green day is from a different generation altogether that cannot be classified as emo (punk, pop punk, etc), evanescence has that emo taste but again isn't really part of that same exact scene or fanbase, and avril lavigne... basically all the same things, plus she isn't a band, which is where the "trinity" aspect finds its roots -- groups of people are more appealing to a wider audience, and those members can interact with the other bands, etc. if that makes sense.

I don't think of paramore as part of a "new" emo trinity, rather they just should have been there in the first place. there's a tumblr joke out there about paramore being "girl fall out boy" (every band but it's fob meme or something idr), and while that's a little blegh because they are so much more than that (misogyny check), it proves a point. they are a lot like fob and vice versa when it comes to certain key qualities, and that's important. that bandom and fob's have never been completely different. I'm seeing posts all over getting excited about fob, paramore, and mcr being active all at the same time -- that's not happening with the other bands people suggest. and it's not even an echo chamber situation, because I have never once engaged with paramore on its own since I don't consider myself a fan. it's just naturally there unlike the others. the panic fandom (the current brendon urie stans, specifically) disengaged from the emo trinity a while ago, and paramore has been there this whole time. so of course it makes sense that they can slip right into the groove of things.

they're not replacing p!atd, they're filling a hole that was meant for them

side note: if you think that the emo trinity bands need to stay consistently emo or get out, you're missing the whole point and I don't know how to explain that to you

[leatherbookmark]

i love how passionate and emotional fic seongjoong is when irl they're like... an arranged marriage... lol

[lolitafushiguro]

Dancing in the Rain (Neuvillette x Reader)

Lolita's Note: ー in which you saw neuvillette standing by the porch in the midst of a downpour of rain ー you asked him to dance, and little did you know it soothed his aching heart.

This, again, is taken from the actual lore of the hydro dragon crying whenever it rains!

There is a common superstition passed down through the hushed whispers in Fontaine…

…that when it rains, it is said that the Hydro dragon weeps.

It is something that you have always wondered about. You always thought about the things that made the hydro dragon cry, because it happens quite often too.

With that said, you have come to a realization that the Hydro Dragon must have a tender heart.

One that is as gentle as a morning drizzle.

Yet one that is as powerful as a thunderstorm blaring through the darkest of nights.

When the latter happens, you seek the arms of the one you love, Neuvillette. And somehow, when your bodies find each other, you swear to the archons that the storm has calmed down.

Even just a little.

The thing about Neuvillette is he does not like to display his emotions.

But he is very polite and courteous. He does not like to make anyone feel excluded, despite working in an occupation where a cutthroat attitude is necessary.

One can say that his personality becomes two sides of the same coin.

There is a middle ground, though ー a blurred space that combines these said facets of his personality. One that he fails to hide every single time.

One that comes out when it rains.

"Darling? Neuvillette?" You shift on your shared bed in a half-asleep state, looking for him.

When you sense that he's not inside your bedroom, you lit up a lamp and searched for him in your shared home.

It's been raining pretty hard these days. Coincidentally in your point of view, Neuvillette has been acting odd. It's as if he's more uptight and aloof. You noticed that he also stays up pretty late ー sometimes you think he doesn't sleep at all.

Another strange thing he frequently does, is he stands by the front porch watching the downpour of rain.

So now you definitely knew where he is.

Slowly, you hesitated to reach for his hair, but you did anyway. Caressing it gently, he was taken by surprise for a moment before he turned to you and gave you a small smile.

"Oh, my dear. You should go back to bed. We still have two hours before it is morning." He curtly tells you before he holds you closer to him.

"It seems that you want me to stay, though." You chuckle, placing your hand on top of his.

He lets out a small laugh ー one that comes out as a content sigh.

The loud downpour of the rain calmed down into a somber drizzle.

"Do you still find storms scary?" He asked you, while he looked out to the distance. You nod in reply. He sighs once again, as if he's apologizing that it cannot be helped.

"As long as you're here, I'm going to be fine." You held his hand and took him with you outside, a sudden idea of dancing in the rain popped in your head.

"What are you doing?" He asked you, a bit alarmed.

"Let's dance in the rain!" You exclaim.

"You're going to catch a cold." Neuvillette tries to take you back inside.

"Then take care of me when that happens!" You retort.

Neuvillette laughs. It sounded more genuine now.

It continued raining, but unlike the violent storm before, it poured gently on your skin. The man brushes a wet strand of your hair that covered your face and smiles at you again.

"Very well. Lead the way, monsieur/mademoiselle." Neuvillette put his hand over his chest, while you held the hem of your dress shirt on both sides.

After you bowed, you took Neuvillette's hands and guided them ー one finds its way on your waist and the other holds your hand.

"We don't have music, so let's just pretend that we are dancing to the melody of the rain." You laugh, as you begin dancing to the rhythm of waltz.

You both shared tender laughs and danced in the rain like children, even if the only light that illuminated you were the lamps of your home.

"I am sorry. I should've stayed in bed. I don't want you to be the one seeking my presence every time you feel afraid, upset, or terrible in general." He sighs.

Just as you wonder if the hydro dragon has a human form, Neuvillette wonders if you already cracked the code.

"Hydro dragon, don't cry. Hydro dragon, don't cry." You started to chant softly, as if lulling a weeping child.

He softened at your expression. As he spun you around he asked,

"Where did you learn that?"

"Oh, nothing. I thought it would be nice if the Hydro dragon hears it. I mean, not that it would be of much help." You chuckle.

Neuvillette then finds himself repeating the same words.

"Yeah that's it, let's chant it together!"

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Neuvillette admires your gentle nature. One touch, one word, and one look ー all of his worries dissipate.

All of his woes disappear.

And of course, the heavy rainfall that he brings forth once he has a heavy heart stops.

Just like now.

"Oh? The rain stopped!" You squealed in excitement.

"Yes, it seems that the hydro dragon heard us." He replied.

The skies cleared to reveal the slight glimmer of light at the crack of dawn.

Looking up, you can still see the full moon.

"Come, let us go back inside and dry ourselves. We still have a few hours of sleep to catch." Neuvillette tells you, guiding you back to your shared home.

"I wonder if the Hydro dragon really heard us. I hope whatever troubles them is resolved soon." You say as he tucks you to bed.

To him, if it's you, then he can get used to your lullaby ー a hushed chanting of his name, one that seeks to comfort his sonder heart.

ー Lolita

[celluloidbroomcloset]

The love declarations throughout Season 2 provide an interesting connection between the characters, and the assumptions they make about other people's feelings.

Izzy's statement, “I have...love for you, Edward," reads initially as a love confession, but the wording itself is important. Izzy doesn't say, "I love you." He says, "I have love for you." This is coupled with the statement that Izzy and Ed understand each other better than anybody, and develops into Izzy invoking Stede's ethos, which prompts Ed's escalation to discussing the "toxic atmosphere" with the crew.

But Izzy's love confession is a vague, imprecise statement—it’s saying that love exists in some way, and that it is a possession of Izzy's, not something he gives to Ed. It's spoken with hesitation, which makes both character and situational sense—Izzy is trying to express concern to a man completely past concern for his own well-being, and the statement is roundly dismissed. It is not something Ed wants to hear, nor does he seem to believe it.

Ed's later statement, which Izzy never hears, is equally as vague—“I loved you best i could.” Ed’s statement is also past tense, and can only be made after Izzy is supposedly dead. Whatever love existed there doesn’t exist anymore. There's a deliberate vagueness to both statements that make them difficult to interpret, which seems to be the intention of the writing. For Ed, it is a statement of finality, not even made within Izzy's hearing—Izzy is dead, and he's about to be. For Izzy, it is an attempt to bridge a gap that he helped create, and that he still insists doesn't exist.

This must be read through the full arc of the relationship. Izzy insists he understands Ed, but throughout Season 1 he misses or misinterprets Ed's behavior through the narrative he's created for himself. Stede is a "seducer" who has "done something to my boss's brain." Ed is "half insane" with "increasingly erratic moods." Neither of them are fulfilling the roles that Izzy has assigned them, and them moving outside of those roles confuses and angers him.

The toxicity is not all on Izzy's side. Ed is incapable of breaking out of the toxic pattern by himself. But it is Izzy's fundamental and continuous misunderstanding of who Ed is, filtered through his warped sense of love and duty, that creates the toxic atmosphere, as he systematically murders all Ed's softness. "I have love for you" is another extension of the warped nature of their love (whether this is read as unrequited romantic love or more familial). It is about possession, even bribery, rather than an offer of love without condition.

In "Fun and Games," Stede’s love confession is unequivocal—he’s stopped from directly saying “I love you,” but he continues with “I love everything about you.” Even in his attempt to finish the first sentence, before he's cut off, he's very deliberate. He emphasizes every word, without hesitation. He looks at Ed, not past him, as Izzy does. He is certain of his love.

(gif by @kiwistede)

Stede's love is simple—“it feels good”—and it is unconditional. Stede loves everything about Ed, including the facets of him that he believes make him unlovable. Stede also doesn't demand an answer, nor does he wait for one—"You don't have to say it back to me." Again, the statement is unconditional; Stede believes Ed loves him, but he's not going to insist, even with silence, that Ed say it.

Stede's love throughout has been unconditional. He does not demand anything of Ed. He does not ask to own or possess Ed's body or his love, but gives himself. He doesn't seek to define who Ed is, but to be allowed to love him as he is.

Ed’s later confession to Stede is equally straightforward. There are no prevarications or conditions—“I love you. I love you.” The emphasis means as much as Stede’s longer speech; Ed knows what it means to love Stede. He too doesn't insist that Stede say it back, because the surety of their love existed from the start. Stede has never doubted it, and Ed no longer doubts it either. Stede can say, "I know. I know that," because they have both always known.

The complicated love between Ed and Izzy has been too warped by toxicity, control, and manipulation to survive. It is "having love" not "loving," tied with a desire to define and possess without ever actually understanding. The love between Stede and Ed is about understanding and wanting each other within and without their individual personas and performances. It's the unselfishness of true love, uncomplicated and unconditional.

[jupiters-galaxy]

I'm just going to say it, I think a lot of people misunderstand Steph's motivations!

It's true that she's sweet and protective of the people she loves, but this girl is also fueled by SPITE. She likes proving people wrong, she likes to get reactions from people with her snarky comments, and she really, really likes getting reactions from people who have irritated her.

Going back to Abstinence Camp, there's several of examples of this. Upon arriving to the camp she doesn't want to be at, she asks for a blue shirt instead of a pink one, trying to stir up problems. Wearing a blue shirt, as a girl, at an EXTREMELY Christian camp? That was 100% spiteful, and I love it. She was snarky towards Boy Jerry when he was leading a craft, because she was unhappy about being there. Not to mention, she intentionally broke the rules at camp, smuggling in sweets because she wasn't supposed to. A lot of that was her way of quietly rebelling: sure, she couldn't control if she was there or not, but she could control her experience there.

The biggest example from Abstinence Camp, though, is her scene with Pete in the shower-house. Of course, she did actively like him, she genuinely did want to be with him, but that's not the only reason she wanted to hook up with him. She's mad off of her recent interaction with Grace, and she went into the shower-house in the first place specifically to get to Grace. Once she's in there, she sees Pete, and it's kind of the perfect circumstance. She's at Abstinence Camp. She wants to defy the rules by not abstaining! And here's this guy she likes. The idea of doing that probably felt really good at the time.

That being said I do think her relationship with Peter is very sweet in that episode...like, idk, they get along in such a cute way, and you can tell they're mutually attracted to each other. She's doing it spitefully but she also wants him, I love it, I love their dynamic so much. This is in no way related to my point I just really believe in Abstinence Camp Lautski supremacy.

Going into NPMD, the other big example also has to do with Pete! We know she wanted to defend Pete after he got beat up, and of course part of that was because she cares about him and is angry that he's hurt. But I want to point out that Max's motivation to beat Pete up was that Max didn't think that Steph should be hanging out with Pete. That was what pushed her from feeling sorry for Pete to being angry and wanting to get back at Max. One of her big motivators for pranking him was absolutely spite. Who is he to hurt Peter? Who is he to control her? As Steph said, "Who does he think he is?"

Also when I think about it, when she told Pete about her C+ she said "My dad couldn't believe it," and that could be seen as her bragging about doing something her dad didn't believe she could do!

I hope this makes sense to ya'll, I literally love Stephanie Lauter so much and I think this is a really interesting facet of her

[lastwave]

Harry Du Bois, the skills + DID/OSDD coding

a compilation of most of my thoughts on harry as a system (note: i am system im not just like. pulling stuff out my ass)

1. Structural Dissociation Theory crash course

so for this point i'm going to give you a crash course structural dissociation theory (do not use me as a source for ur knowledge on it this is very like. base level and just to establish context)

structural dissociation states that we all start as multiple different facets, and that as we grow up, these facets all fuse into a cohesive personality. however, in DID/OSDD, ongoing trauma proves it safer to NOT fuse these facets and instead develop dissociative and amnestic barriers between them to varying degrees. these facets cope by developing into individual personalities, and if traumatic events persist, the brain may split more personalities to try and cope with this. this gives us two bits of information that i'm going to use throughout this

1. there is no "original", just alters that host for long periods of time and/or identify with the body the most

2. amnestic & dissociative barriers are fluid. in times of rest, these barriers may start to come down between some alters, but not necessarily all.

**NOTE: these are not hard and fast rules and vary from system to system. it's also vastly different if you have Polyfrag DID or Complex DID. since I don't hc Harry as polyfrag or complex tho, i'm not gonna get into that

2. Harry (the system)

so it's pretty easy to establish that harry has a good handful of childhood trauma. being born in a military hospital + town and growing up there means he probably saw and/or heard a lot of death and sickness. we also know his father left based on the logic passive in the measurehead conversation

we also know from the reaction speed passive when you find out your name that harry was born in a time all these were concerns. most likely, hunger, considering how through the game hunger + eating is an undertone w/ harry

we also have the klaasje half-light passive implying that harry's been raped (might not have occurred during childhood, but still a contributing factor to trauma)

my point being bro has enough childhood trauma and then some to create a system.

we also see a LOT of amnestic barriers between harry and the rest of the skills. besides the obvious not remembering anything, we see the skills remembering things that harry doesn't.

for example, EChem remembers that harry took speed some point recently, while harry himself doesn't

we also see that the skills have distinct personalities and opinions separate from each other. shit we've got a communist (rhetoric) and a fascist (endurance) living in the same fucking body. half light is immediately suspicious of everyone and everything while empathy tries to understand everyone even to their own detriment. and volition and echem need a whole post of their own. thats some pretty strong dissociative barriers

3. Harry (the alter)

to be quite honest with you i think harry as we, the audience, know him is a brand new split, an introject* of an old host that has either fused with another alter or gone dormant. he's trying to fill a different harry du bois's shoes- someone he is fundamentally similar to, but is, at his core, not

*Definition from did-research.org: Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent.

knowing nothing about yourself, even what you look like, is a common feeling for new splits (in our experience). with the high amnestic barriers separating harry from the rest of the system, it makes sense that the first time he is conscious he is totally lost about his own identity, where he lives, or what his occupation even is.

losing facts about basic reality is probably a dissociative response. things the brain knows (see encyclopedia filling in gaps once given a prompt about something like Fillipe the Conquerer) but doesn't want the new host to know for fear of not being able to function.

4. Certain Alters with Functions

some of the skills fall into alter "archetypes" (not all alters will, even in like. real life systems) and im just gonna list them out here:

ones with subtextual backing:

Volition: Caretaker + Apparent Normal Part

Half-Light: trauma holder

Electro-Chemistry: symptom + trauma holder

Authority: protector

Logic: apparent normal part

ones that are just my headcanons:

Interfacing: little

Endurance: ex-persecutor

Inland Empire: ex-caretaker

here ends my post of articulate thoughts, if u have any like. follow up questions feel free to shoot me an ask. might take me a minute tho

[mynqzo]

Hey heard you like vampires what are your thoughts on Twilight

it gets an unprecedented amount of hate mostly for being a show with an audience of young women and girls (so therefore people think oh girls like this so ew). its also undeniable that twilight very much shows the progression of how vampires are depicted in media and is an important facet in the history of vampire mythology especially in books/movies. it being a romance movie with cliche and maybe cringe scenes doesn't take away people's right to enjoy it and by extent its version of vampires (id argue that twilight vampires are just a spiritual successor to vampires like lestate or 'romantic vamps' in general)

with that being said, it is the straightest and most mormon vampire depiction which therefore makes it less enjoyable for me! vampires, historically, existed to represent minorities and people who were considered outcasts to 'normal' society and were first and foremost used as caricatures for racist, lgbtq-phobic and sexist stereotypes, so i feel like their reclamation by queers, poc and minorities in general is the only good way to depict them. bram stoker's dracula represented the english man's fear of jewish immigrants (and immigrants in general, the visual description of dracula in that book plays into popular caricatures of jews during those times), eastern europeans, and queer people (dracula and jonathan yada yada as well as the wives of dracula initiating a saucy moment with jonathan which was a man' job because the man was the pursuer and the woman was pursued, but the roles were reversed. also, i don't think i need to tell you how fangs, blood and the extension of dracula through his wives were used as a gay metaphor). and carmilla by sheridan le fanu, depicting the imagery of a predatory lesbian hunting for innocent upper-class women. during these times vampires were not yet characters with complex personalities and values, but folklore monsters in a way, a way to show an enemy and defeat it rather than learn to understand them, which was a product of its time.

fast forward to the vampire chronicles and especially interview with the vampire by anne rice, vampires became complex people, who's oddities were considered alluring, beautiful, queer and unabashedly proud of it. descriptions of androgynous men, womens love of each other, several nods to gay culture throughout the books with the characters themselves having more to them than just being monsters (with that being said there are several critiques of an interview with the vampire, esp the original book, it is by no means the creme de la creme of queer rep in vampire literature!)

so, circling back, twilight vampires were in themselves like that, kind of. edward wasn't exactly the most macho man as was popular to faun over in media, he was, kind of, more androgenous and sensitive and a character with complex values and thoughts - but that doesn't take away from the fact that the book is lacking a lot of soul and seemingly doesn't show the true reasons why vampires became so popular (amongst young queers especially who found themselves relating to this sense of otherness because of who they were. it is a very sanitized version of a vampire romance, which doesn't mean its bad or that people shouldn't like it! but i'm just saying.

huff

[tlcartist]

I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate JJBA's willingness to explore morally grey characters, especially as the series progresses. At the end of the day, this facet of a character is what keeps me engaged, because you have an (often) deeply flawed person doing their best to achieve their goals, protect the people they care about, and to survive. I genuinely don't think it'd have the same effect if this series was full of Perfect Heroes.

JoJo protagonists (with the exception of Jonathan but I'll discuss that in another post), are messy. Yes they're strong and brave and have a sense of justice but they're also rude, con artists, manipulative, and hurt/kill people as they see fit. And honestly? I love it. I wouldn't have them any other way. It humanizes them. It transforms characters who essentially have superhuman or even godlike abilities and makes them relatable. They struggle with guilt, regret, shame, and anger just like anyone else. They have damaging coping mechanisms. They sometimes take their frustrations out on people who don't deserve it. They're fucked up just like a regular person.

The whole point of this is creating a world where there are no true Good Guys. Everyone's hands are dirty. AND YET, in spite of all of this they still have good hearts. This series could have very easily taken a turn in the other direction and gone the nihilistic route but it doesn't. JoJo could have become a series full of nothing but characters who are only motivated for selfish reasons but it isn't. Not to be cliche, but, at it it's core JoJo is a series about love and friendship and protecting it at any cost. It understands that the connections we have with each other are stronger than any stand. That no matter how fucked up a protagonist or supporting character is they still have the potential to do good. This is a story where, at the end of the day, love will always prevail and I think that's pretty damn wonderful.

[doberbutts]

I very much see your points! I suppose the only real difference between your viewpoint and mine stands in the fact that while yes, I do agree that to use the terms TME/TMA to sort of "gatekeep" specific experiences is bad, I feel like that's more of an issue with individual (although decently widespread, unfortunately) misappropriation of the language, rather than a conceptual flaw with the framework. I believe there's a lot of people who intend to use the terms correctly, and if and when they happen not to we should aim to correct that individual behavior rather than throw the baby out with the water, so to speak. I do understand that it's a bit of a tall ask when everyone's at each other's throats and often not willing to return the favor, but at the very least that's what we should strive for if we want to reach mutual understanding (I say all this knowing that's your goal too, I wouldn't assume otherwise).

After all, I do believe that the way "transandrodorks" are treated stems from a similar misunderstanding or overgeneralization of what we actually stand for, and an unwillingness to reach out a hand and actually listen to what we have to say rather than assume the worst from a few bad actors. That's why when the positions are reversed I want to at least try to reach out and meet the other party in the middle, even if the same courtesy isn't always afforded to me.

As for your example with Caster Semenya, I do believe that intersex people should absolutely be allowed to use the term TMA to refer to themselves regardless of AGAB if they feel it's appropriate, as their experiences often exist outside the strict framework we tend to employ and they would know best which terminology applies to them and which doesn't (and should also obviously allowed to make up their own when needed). I don't see eye to eye with anyone who advocates for TMA/TME while disagreeing on this point (and I'll admit I'm not sure what the general consensus here is).

And as for the other example, I'm a bit hesitant to continue that specific analogy (which I do believe to be absolutely valid, btw) since I'm white and I would rather not say anything out of turn, so I'll instead offer the usual rebuttal to the analogous point: when someone who is TME experiences transmisogyny, it's an atomic experience, not continuous. They might be mistaken for a trans woman, but as they are not actually a trans woman they don't live in the same state of constant fear and threat of (this specific type of) violence. They can prove they're not transfem, and the attack will stop, or at least lessen. They have the option of simply not being transfem, something which obviously isn't afforded to transfems. That doesn't mean that the experience they went through didn't affect them, or did so less, but they would live it differently from someone who would be the actual intended target.

Now, I relayed that point but I personally am not sure I agree with it 100%, specifically the latter half. If the TME person being attacked happens to be another trans person, rather than cis, they don't get to escape the danger through proving they're not transfem, because then they're just trading a type of violence for another (the one actually meant to target them, which might look differently). Not to mention that you won't always be in a situation where you can/want to prove it, or where the other party will believe you or care either way. I guess the bigger point here is that if you're TME you're not always experiencing transmisogyny in every facet of your life, though.

Either way I believe there's plenty of more nuance that could be had here, and in that sense I do dislike how that's lost when using TME/TMA, but as terms they were never intended to encompass every possible experience in shorthand but rather just give a general idea, which could then be complemented by any additional info you would be willing to share.

Ah but you see, that's the talking over someone else's experience I'm talking about.

When TME people experience transmisogyny, it is incidental and not continuous. Well. For some, like my example of the idiot mistaking me for Mexican for being brown while saying a French word, that is true. I am not commonly mistaken for Mexican, though it's not unheard of, and it hasn't happened in years. Specifically, when I stopped wearing my hair long and started binding, I stopped being read as *Dominican* (which racist people do not see the difference between the various Latin American countries) and thus stopped experiencing this problem. It's incidental, but I still think that the best choice is to ally with Mexicans and other Latinos and Hispanics to stop the bigoted behavior from happening altogether.

But what happens when it IS continuous? Black cis women, also labeled TME, are disproportionately transvestigated and heavily punished by transmisogynist laws and rulings despite not being transgender themselves. Not only does showing birth certificates not help (and, also, I think this is Bad Logic, because if I have to show my personal private documents in order to be left alone, I'm still being Affected By The Oppression because I have to carry my documents everywhere. Like that's just Baby's First Fascism) but I have personally witnessed multiple black celebrity and politician cis women be forced to prove they are women *while they are pregnant*. And yes, that is misogynoir. But it is practiced by utilizing the exact same societal systems to hurt trans women. Thus my logic on the other post- all oppression hooks into each other and back onto itself somehow. Not only is that not incidental and very much continuous, but this a systemic problem and why cis and trans women and *especially* any person of color regardless of gender should ally among themselves to fight it.

And, finally "they can prove they're not trans fem and the attack will stop or lessen"- sure, much like how Hannah Gadsby was able to say "no no I'm not a faggot you see I am a lady a woman no man-liker here" and the guy left her alone wait no he didn't he beat the shit out of her anyway. Like that's the problem I have with this- the reality is that this does not apply to every single person and that real living people are being hurt and sometimes killed while being labeled exempt from the very thing that kills them. We have had cis people die due to bathroom laws meant to hurt trans women. It is absolutely not a matter of just proving you're not one because transmisogyny is one help of a drug and it is used as a dangerous weapon to any and everyone it's pointed towards.

And that is the crux of my problem. People can use whatever words they like to describe their own experiences. Pointing these words to describe someone else's experiences for them, however, and denying that their very real lived experiences have happened or that it matters less is where I draw the line.

[robinmage]

It's curious to me, how the general consensus among others when it comes to Chise's curses are "bad; we need to get rid of it (we just don't know how.)" Which, considering they are both curses made of pain and suffering, makes sense why someone wouldn't want to keep those around.

We (the audience) know vaguely how the curses interact with each other. The dragon's curse: made from strong emotions of anger and despair, provides Chise with her strength and durability against both magical and physical elements, at the cost of her own strength one day tearing herself apart. Cartaphilus' curse prevents her from dying, but offers no protection against injury or decay. Together they "keep each other in check"-- Cartaphilus will keep her alive, the dragon will keep her strong.

A lot of things have happened in the past arc that make it easy to forget the fundamentals of the first season. When the series started, Chise was a few steps away from walking off a roof. Even after she arrived in England, it took a long time before she decided that maybe life wasn't so bad. Her entire life up until that point had been nothing but misery; abandoned and alone, she had no one to protect her from the constant targeting and harassment by both fae and humans alike. She believed that the only way to escape her torment was through death... I think its a facet of her character that goes unfairly unrecognized a lot (especially after the first arc).

When she's in England and is going through her mental/psychological character development, she is still facing the imminent threat of her weak sleigh beggey body constantly failing her. Using magic exacerbates her condition, causing her to be sick and/or incapacitated for significant stretches of time. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, it's frustrating. By the time she realizes she wants to live, her clock is already running quite short.

Her solution is handed to her on a rusted platter. To be "just like everyone else", for once. Finally.

Going to school, hanging out with friends, using magic without it killing her-- all things shes never been able to do before. All thanks to the curses trapped in her. These things that should be considered a horribly tragic fate have now become her salvation. Both physically and mentally, she's the strongest and most resilient she's ever been. Yet, when faced with the idea of liberating herself from her curses...

The curses only work the way they do because they're in sync with each other. Taking away either curse would leave her vulnerable to the other-- the dragon's curse would slowly overwhelm her into a brutally agonizing death, while Cartaphilus' curse would leave her to live and suffer through the constant breaking down of her sleigh beggey body.

When told about the reality of her curses and just how severe they are (not just to her, but to the people around her), she doesn't seem to completely understand what that may mean for herself and her future. Or perhaps, she just doesn't care. After a life where pain and suffering was her "normal", she finally has the means to create something meaningful and positive out of herself. How could that possibly be a bad thing?

She understands on some level that these curses were only ever meant to be temporary. Elias' original goal, to keep Chise alive in spite of her sleigh beggey curse, has not changed. Tacking on two more curses was not a part of the plan, and though they've offered a temporary solution and some time, curses are called curses for a reason. They cannot be relied upon. They've got to go.

But getting rid of those curses (both, or either) essentially puts her back at square one. Back to the pain, discomfort, and illness. She probably won't be able to use magic without hurting herself, too. She's gained freedom in both mind and body for the first time in her life. Sure, she encounters a few hiccups, but considering what she's used to, this is a big step up.

Something has finally given her the power and freedom to spread her wings and fly. Would she be able to clip her own feathers just because that power is "supposed" to be "bad"?

Could she? Could you?

Through it all, everyone she's come across has appointed her curses as a problem. Everyone, except...

[sugar-grigri]

I was wondering what you think the likelihood is of an actual canon Asa/Denji romantic relationship is? I mean obviously they're building that Asa has feelings for csm/Denji (separately) and Denji has shown passing interest as well. I wonder if it's feasible at all or are they going to be pitched against one another now that Asa's getting seen more in the public eye while Denji is forcibly pushed aside.

Love your blog and enjoy reading your analyzes of the chapters/characters/plot!

Denji and Asa will have a romantic relationship 

I'm sorry to answer so late (almost 2 months later) and without justifying my delay, I think it's the right time in view of the last chapters to answer !!! I think Asa and Denji will have a romantic relationship. Before explaining my arguments, I would ask that we all put our personal preferences aside. I'm only interested in Denji and Asa's writing and story arcs. Now that that's been cleared up, let's get down to business.

First of all, I'd like to reiterate a few points about Denji's development and objectives.

In part 1, Denji understood what it meant to be loved properly, the different facets of love, how to protect and pamper a family, just as his response to the antagonist was driven by his love for Makima. It's important not to deny that Denji has become attached to Makima, and the paradoxical aspect of this affection is what made the end of Part 1 so brilliant and memorable.

Firstly, it confirmed that CSM's main theme from the outset was love, and secondly, it proved that Denji's response was extremely sensitive and mature. Instead of locking himself into a cycle of revenge and hatred, he forgave.

But above all from a narrative point of view it's interesting because in the first part, Denji grasped his value as a human being, knew what it was like to be considered and loved by Power and Aki. I've always seen Part 2 as a response to Part 1.

After the character has grasped that he can be loved, Part 2 places within it, consecrating it as the pivotal protagonist: Denji's beloved, Asa Mitaka. Instead of simply mystifying the love interest as a deuteragonist, as many works do, and depriving us of her point of view, Fujimoto places her with equal narrative importance. Which makes sense, since love is a central theme, Denji's love couldn't take a back seat.

All this to say that the very fact that Asa is also the protagonist puts us on the right track. But there's nothing to stop it all being a trap? Just as there's nothing to stop the relationship between the two protagonists opening up to a lovely friendship, is there? From a personal point of view, I'd have found it interesting if Denji had struck up another platonic friendship with a girl, with no undertones.

But that's not what Fujimoto has in mind...

Asa and Denji are written to complement each other. And when I say complementarity, I make it clear that the writing doesn't imply that a relationship between the two of them would solve their internal problems. Their flaws are put to the test by the external scenario.

For example, Asa's lack of trust in others is underlined in her development compared to other characters such as Yuko and Yoshida.

Yuko and Asa had a sincere friendship, although this drifted into moral combat as the young girl wanted to be as beneficial and useful as Chainsaw Man. As for Yoshida, he torments Asa, playing the game of promiscuity in order to create distance between the two of them, motivated as he is by Chainsaw Man. But his aim is not to become like him, but to prevent him from acting to the full.

Whether it's to inhibit Chainsaw Man or to become like him, Chainsaw Man has occupied a place in Asa's relationships with the others. But again, this only serves to underline the extent to which the destinies of the two protagonists are intertwined. Instead of hating Chainsaw Man even more for disrupting her relationships, Asa Mitaka unknowingly experienced his profound kindness.

During the aquarium arc, Denji simply occupied a special place regarding this issue. While the young girl mortified herself about being a good-for-nothing, a loser like Denji, it was he who paradoxically helped her. Firstly, because he'd listened to her explanations, boring though they were, about starfish and the fact that they're edible. What's more, Fami can control those she would have starved, so subconsciously the fact that Denji offered her food saved Asa.

But this is implicit writing, as it doesn't make sense until well afterwards, when Fujimoto spells out the conditions of the famine demon's power. When we read the aquarium arc, the one who finds the solution is Asa. Denji was merely a springboard.

This episode is central because Fujimoto, in developing the relationship between Denji and Asa, also clarifies the way in which he will write it: one will not overshadow the other, and he has not placed Asa as the protagonist so that she is not a pivotal point in the scenario.

But before this good experience, Asa only sees Denji's little flaws, the fact that he's a fan of Chainsaw Man, that he rips off homeless people and even goes so far as to dehumanize him, considering him somewhere between a cat and a criminal. Instead of idealizing Asa as Denji's great savior, she is first presented as a threat to the boy. But this chapter only confirms the future romantic (and tragic) aspect of their relationship.

I'm putting my theory back on the cat, because it's this symbol that heralds a perhaps not-so-pretty ending between the two of them. Fujimoto takes on the characteristics of a Greek tragedy, with a game of identities, intertwined secrets and a series of misunderstandings, with two camps, characters also preventing their relationship (Nayuta and Yoshida). But above all, it's tragic: Denji is somewhere between a cat and a criminal, just as Asa lost her mother while trying to save a cat, just as the first being Denji saves in Part 2 is a cat.

The cat is a figure that links Denji and Asa (the fact that they both saved one, that it is linked to their family (Power and Asa's mother), the metaphor of cat and criminal being what characterizes someone as morally gray as the two of them TO SUM UP their relationship will end in sacrifice. The ultimate proof of love. Isn't it wonderful to have a boy as the protagonist who pursues love, only to die for it? The reverse is just as beautiful: a young girl who closes herself off in solitude finds self-fulfillment in dying for the sake of another.

But back to something happier: Asa is the only one who has a healthy love (or rather, attachment) to Denji. Firstly, because she first faced Denji's and Chainsaw Man's flaws before seeing their good sides.

First, she doesn't project anything onto the boy, and sees him exactly as he is. She experienced his obscenities, his interest in sex that repels her. This was something I'd considered a flaw until now, to be honest; I was afraid that if the two protagonists ended up experiencing intimacy together, it would "save" Asa from her rejection of sex. But I was reassured by Fumiko's development, which parallels that. Fumiko has an unhealthy interest in Denji and is constantly contradictory in her dealings with him.

As I said, chapter 142 sets up a fairly simple idea: no one respects Denji's limits, above all, no one sees him as the teenager, the child he is. With Chainsaw Man, the same thing happens: people, faced with their powerlessness against the demons, project their grief and frustrations onto the machine man, to the point of pushing him to live again and again to kill his loved one, his big brother. 

No one hears Chainsaw Man's cries for help 

Asa stands out from all this: first, she's the one who wants to save Chainsaw Man 

Fumiko already had an idealized image of Denji before she met him, has an ascendancy over age, a manipulative strategy, but beyond these problematic issues she respects no limits, thinks Denji's sexual desires, which do exist (let's not deny it), are watchwords. 

She, who considers him a child, doesn't act at all in the spirit of protection that she acclaims. 

Asa has the opposite reaction, but purely the opposite. When she meets Denji, she's not at all interested, even distressed. She'll have exactly the same reaction to Chainsaw Man. She doesn't like him, so she has nothing to project onto him. And even her first reaction to him was far from idyllic. 

Fumiko's presence is also intended to underline the way she and Asa differ in the way they deal with Denji's limitations. 

Asa respects Denji's limits, or rather those he has set as rules dictated by his little sister. But Yoru crosses a boundary by kissing him. Without the desire to justify a non-consensual act, what Yoru is doing is crossing a boundary not set by Denji but by Nayuta, who is trapping her older brother in a certain solitude by wanting to protect him. The control devil is obsessed with a happiness that can only be found in the number of two, which is the common trait that links Makima and Nayuta, although they are not exactly the same entity. The first kiss between Yoru and Denji is then an act of rebellion, rather than Fumiko's constant overstepping of boundaries. 

(Again, these are two non-consensual acts, and I'm not justifying them, but they don't have the same narrative function).

But above all, the limits set by Nayuta have another meaning - they're there to consolidate the fact that Denji and Asa's relationship is a romantic tragedy inspired by the ancients, as Shakespiere was. The breaking of rules is a major theme in Romeo and Juliet, especially in the case of Juliet, who must choose between morals and her love, her family destining her for another marriage (symbolized by Nayuta). 

But we'll come back to the symbolism of Romeo and Juliet in a moment... 

Asa has met the purest version of Denji - whether it's Denji revealing his identity, or his profound kindness at the aquarium - and she's also witnessed the flaws of Chainsaw Man, this perverse monster, not good with words, who not only tried to reassure her, but actively protected her.

In other words, when we see her disturbed by her growing feelings for both Denji and Chainsaw Man, they are more than sincere, for she has seen them both as they were. But above all, she is the first character to love both sides of Denji's identity. Whereas Makima was obsessed with Chainsaw Man or Reze focused on Denji's weaknesses, Asa became attached to both the human and the demon.

Denji's dual identity is central, with the public hunters trying to annihilate Denji's demonic identity while the church relies on it, confusing the boy into having to choose one or the other, while the one who intends to help him unknowingly loves both sides. She likes him doubly. Asa is proof that Denji has to claim his two identities.

Not only is the girl also two, harboring a demon within her just as Denji has fused with a demon, but the way their demons are linked to each other and have a history between them only reinforces the destiny that binds them.

Asa is someone who intellectualizes her emotions to the extreme, so her love is more cerebral than Denji's, who thinks primarily through his senses, having a more instinctive love. Yoru occupies half of Asa's brain, while Pochita replaces Denji's heart, totally in line with this symbolism.

Above all, Yoru is disturbed by Asa's budding feelings, which also affect her. We've seen that Yoru hasn't succeeded in transforming Denji. We all stopped to think that she couldn't transform a hybrid, a demon. Yoru is a knight of the apocalypse and has a natural ascendancy over other demons, just as Fami had the falling devil under her control and Makima had controlled many demons. No, the reason why Yoru can't transform Denji is twofold: she's disturbed by Asa's feelings, which are also her own, and doesn't have the will to make him her weapon; but above all, they're not yet together, and the feeling of belonging to each other hasn't yet been established. It's not certain that Denji will ever become Yoru's weapon, since as soon as their relationship is established, he will symbolically offer her his heart.

In the current arc, Fujimoto places Asa in Denji's initial situation, so as to better parallel them: she becomes the church's new flagship image, her popularity competing directly with Chainsaw Man's. But while the current arc shows us the downside of these parasocial relationships, with Denji completely paralyzed by his existential crises, Asa experiences the opposite.

She who has always felt isolated is finally beginning to be appreciated and loved by the majority. In short, one begins to learn something that the other is just experimenting with. Denji and Asa are two very isolated teenagers who project themselves into the recognition their audience has in them. 

What's certain is that Denji's existential crisis doesn't just concern him, insofar as his experiences can serve as a lesson to Asa, that to become a hero is above all to be alone. The church intends to sacrifice innocent people to spur Chainsaw Man into action, a church that Asa now represents. Asa hasn't yet seen this side of the church, so Barem mocks her by presenting her as a naive young girl. However, Asa has the intuition that tragedy will strike, since she has a nightmare of it.

Asa's going to have to go beyond her moral limits, to take the brunt of her own popularity, and even if she intends to save Chainsaw Man as he saved her, I think it's he who's going to help her more, not to eclipse her but as a springboard to push the heroine to save herself.

Denji's development isn't slow, flat, in this arc, it just reaches its conclusion. What's left for him to do to end it all is to prove his love.

Even if it means dying for it.

[starryeyedjanai]

helloo, for the writing prompt thing 9. “Don’t ask me that.” ☺️💕

thanks for the prompts #9. "Don't ask me that." and #30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.” @delta-piscium and @atmilliways 🥰

to be known

steddie | rated: teen | 3.7k | angst with a happy ending :)

read on AO3

When the words settle onto his skin on his 18th birthday - Can I sit here? The other tables are full. - Steve is immediately taken back to the first week of middle school.

The day he met Eddie. When his hair was buzzed short and he was brand new to the school and knew no one.

He remembers those words.

He remembers looking up from his lunch and seeing this kid that looked nothing like Steve or any of his friends - dressed in all black, some kind of band logo on his t-shirt. He remembers seeing how timid he was to be asking, remembers saying yes or something to that accord.

He looks at the words and he's sure, he's certain, that the words etched onto his skin are the first words Eddie spoke to him.

Steve can't remember exactly what he said to Eddie in response to these words, just that he let Eddie sit with him and they've been best friends ever since, however unlikely a pair they made.

If Steve's words are on Eddie's skin, however unmemorable they are to Steve, he's sure Eddie would know they're soulmates - he would remember the first words Steve said to him all those years ago just like Steve remembers.

But.

Eddie turned 18 a while ago and he's never once mentioned the words on his skin to Steve.

Steve asked once, a few days after Eddie's birthday and Eddie changed the subject. Steve thought that might mean that he didn't have any words on his skin, because not everyone does.

He's thought about it since then too. If Eddie had gotten his words on his birthday, why would he not mention them? If it was something incredibly generic or even if it was a phrase that made no sense to him, he probably wouldn't have hidden it.

So then Steve had the thought that maybe it was something personal or maybe something embarrassing that Eddie just didn't want to say out loud.

And yeah, they're best friends, but that doesn't mean they have to share everything with each other. If it was something Eddie wanted to keep to himself, who was Steve to try and pry the information out of him? If Eddie wanted him to know, he'd tell him.

But now, looking at the words on his skin, he thinks that maybe there's another reason he never said anything. That maybe it's because he has Steve's words on his skin, but he doesn't want Steve as a soulmate. That maybe he was hoping it was a mistake, that if he ignored it, Steve might not get Eddie's words when he turned 18.

If Eddie has something written on him, he's hidden it from Steve for months. If he has a soul mark, he's hidden it for a reason.

The thoughts running through his head make Steve spiral a little, looking at the words on his skin.

It makes something ache in his chest, thinking about Eddie not wanting him. They've been friends for over five years now. They do everything together. They know each other better than anyone else.

If Eddie has his words on him somewhere and didn't tell Steve because he was that horrified at the thought of being tied to Steve forever, he doesn't know how his heart is going to take it.

As it stands, just thinking about it is making his heart beat a mile a minute, the hurt spreading with every heartbeat.

--

Steve looks at the words on his skin for a long time.

Eddie's handwriting is normally neat and measured, so unlike every facet of Eddie's actual existence.

He thinks about Eddie's room, always messy and cluttered. He thinks of Eddie's hyperactive personality, always needing to fidget, always needing to be doing something.

He thinks about seeing Eddie so focused on writing new lyrics for his band, thinks about looking at Eddie's notebook when he shows him a clever turn of words he came up with, the way his handwriting starts off small and contained, but gets bigger and sloppier the more excited he is.

The words on his skin are sloppy, excited.

But there's a lump in his throat thinking about how if Eddie has his words, he wasn't excited about it.

He doesn't know what he's going to do if Eddie tells him that he has his words on his skin and he doesn't want to be with him.

He woke up this morning with hope blossoming in his chest at the thought of seeing his soulmate's writing, their first words to him, on his body.

And now, he's getting ready for school, going through the motions, dreading what might happen.

It's not like he can miss school - Eddie would just skip school and come find him, regardless of the fact that his many unexcused absences are what got him held back last year. He'd skip anyway, and he'd find Steve no matter where he went.

He knows all of Steve's hideouts, all the places Steve goes when his parents are home and on his case.

He knows everywhere Steve might think to go if he's skipping school on his birthday because he knows Steve. He knows him better than Steve thinks he knows himself most days.

At school, he heads to his locker and doesn't look for Eddie. Sometimes, Eddie hitches a ride with Steve, but on Mondays, Eddie has Hellfire after school, so he drives himself.

Steve's never been as grateful for a Monday as he is now. He doesn't think he could have handled being in a car with Eddie this morning, trapped and with nowhere to go, the big question hanging between them, probably.

Did your mark come? (and maybe in this case, is it me?)

It's what everyone wants to know on someone's 18th birthday.

By the time he makes it to his locker, he's been asked if he got his mark a handful of times.

He makes it to third period before he realizes he hasn't seen Eddie all day.

The feeling of dread is sitting heavy in his stomach. Did Eddie skip school today because he didn't want to deal with Steve's mark at all? If he knows that Steve is his soulmate, this just further cements the fact that Eddie doesn't want him, that Eddie is doing everything he can to get away from Steve.

At lunch, he heads out to his car and sits in the quiet for a while.

He's not going back in there, he realizes, after a while as the clock keeps ticking forward, closer to the end of lunch.

He starts his car and heads up to Lover's Lake.

Because he knows Eddie just as well as Eddie knows him, and he knows exactly where he'd be if he didn't want Steve to find him.

Because as much as it might hurt to know Eddie doesn't want him, he has to hear him say the words. He has to know for sure that Eddie never said anything because he doesn't want Steve.

He has to hear it because anything his mind can make up is probably worse than anything the Eddie he knows would actually say. He'd let him down easy, if it's true that he just doesn't want Steve.

Steve thinks it would hurt the same even if Eddie was cruel about it - if he scoffed at him and said of course he didn't want him versus him gently sitting Steve down and saying as much as he likes being his friend, he just doesn't want him like that.

He parks next to the curb in front of Rick's house, behind Eddie's van, and steels himself. He's going to walk in that house and he might not come out of it the same. He might leave with one less friend. One less best friend.

He doesn't bother knocking because he knows the door will be unlocked. He can hear Eddie and Rick talking in the living room so he follows the voices.

The conversation dies immediately when Eddie catches sight of him. He blanches, like he wasn't expecting Steve to come find him, like he was expecting Steve to just let this go untalked about the way Eddie has for so many months now.

"Steve," Eddie whispers into the painfully awkward silence.

"Eddie," Steve says back. "I think we need to talk, don't you?"

He sees Eddie swallow and glance at the doorway behind him, like he's thinking about making a break for it.

He knows for certain that Eddie's his soulmate now.

Steve tries not to let it show how much that affects him, the thought of Eddie being so fucking unwilling to talk to him about this that he'd rather run from him. He's never run from Steve like this before.

"Please," Steve says softly, his voice desperate and shot.

Eddie nods slowly. He says, "Rick, um. Can you, uh, give us a minute?"

Rick looks between them and says to Eddie, "You know this is my house, right?" but he gets up all the same and heads to the sliding glass door to step outside.

"Steve," Eddie says again.

"You've been hiding from me," he says, stepping closer to the couch.

"It's not that I was, was hiding, per se," Eddie stammers out.

"No?" Steve asks. "So you just skipped school to hang out on Rick's couch today?"

He sits on the opposite end of the couch, a good distance from Eddie. His heart is in his throat and he realizes all of a sudden that he's not going to be okay if Eddie doesn't want him. He thought maybe he could power through this, hear Eddie say he'd rather never see Steve again than be stuck with him as a soulmate or something equally as devastating, but there are tears stinging at the corners of his eyes at the thought.

He doesn't want Eddie to not want him.

He looks away from Eddie, blinks rapidly a couple times to stubbornly keep the tears at bay.

"I don't. I don't know what you want me to say," Eddie says softly.

Steve clears his throat and says, "I want you to tell me why you didn't tell me."

Eddie scoffs and says, "Don't ask me that."

And Steve sits there, feeling defeated, feeling like his heart is splintering because his best friend is shutting him out. Eddie doesn't want him, doesn't want to even talk to him about it.

He can't do anything but stare at him for a moment, the sinking feeling in his chest settling like it's made a home there.

So that's it then.

He won't even talk to him about it.

He gets up, ready to leave because what else is there to say if Eddie can't even bear to say it out loud? If he can't even acknowledge that they're soulmates, can't say out loud why he never told him, it has to be because he realizes anything he says is going to hurt Steve.

Eddie's not malicious. Even if he doesn't want Steve like that, he still probably wouldn't want to hurt him.

Eddie rushes to stand up when Steve turns to leave, the stinging in his eyes getting worse than before.

"Steve, don't- we can just-" Eddie lets out a frustrated breath. "Can't we just go back to how it was before? This doesn't have to change anything."

And those are words that make the tears that Steve's been trying to keep in tip over. He wipes at his eyes, frustrated with himself. He told himself he wouldn't cry about this in front of Eddie, but here he is, tears falling down his face anyway.

Eddie looks panicked all of a sudden, like he didn't expect Steve's tears. Like he thought Steve would just say yes, say sure, we can just pretend we aren't fucking soulmates.

"Steve?" He says his name hesitantly, like he's a startled horse or something, and Steve wants to turn and run, wants to hide from the hurt feeling that's gripping his heart.

But he came here for a reason.

He came here to get the answers that he needs and he doesn't know that he has them yet.

Eddie won't talk about it, but Steve needs him to. Eddie still wants to be his friend and Steve needs to hear him say that there isn't a chance, needs to know that there isn't a hope of a chance that things might change for Eddie one day. Because Steve will wait, is the thing.

Steve would wait forever for him.

If Eddie wants things to go back to normal, to how they were before they knew they were soulmates, Steve would keep being his friend and keep waiting for things to change forever if Eddie doesn't tell him now that he can never feel that way about him.

So he says through his tears, "I need you to tell me the truth. I don't care if you think it'll hurt me. I just need to hear it."

Eddie looks confused. "Why would me telling you how I feel hurt you? That's- Why are you crying? What did I say to make you cry?"

"You don't want to talk about it! You want to pretend this doesn't exist," he says, pulling the hem of his shirt up to expose the writing on his rib cage. "You want us to pretend we aren't soulmates and you didn't think that would hurt me?"

Eddie shakes his head. "You- you don't want this," he insists. He hasn't even asked what Steve wants.

"How could you possibly know what I want when we haven't even talked about it? You hid this from me for months, Eddie! And now you're gonna stand here and act like you know what I want?" Steve scoffs, the tears in his eyes now coming from a place of anger instead of hurt.

"You're not into guys, Steve. And you're certainly not into me. I know that much," Eddie says, still looking at the words etched on Steve's skin.

Steve lowers his shirt. "You didn't even ask me," he says again. He wipes the tears from his eyes and steps forward, closer to Eddie.

Because Eddie said Steve wasn't into him, wasn't into guys. He never said that he wasn't into Steve. He's hanging onto a fucking thread of hope, but Eddie didn't say he didn't want him.

He doesn't know if Eddie's deflecting from the real issue of him not wanting Steve by turning it around on him, but he has to try. He's his soulmate. Of course he has to try.

He stands in front of Eddie, the tips of their shoes touching.

"Show me," he says softly, the words a whisper into the quiet of the room.

He looks at Eddie and sees the fear in his eyes, sees how scared he is. He didn't notice it before, being so far away from him. But up close, he can tell that Eddie is scared.

Scared like Steve is scared.

He just hopes he's getting this right.

Eddie pulls the collar of his shirt down to show the script sitting right on his collarbone.

Oh, yeah, of course! I like your hair!

"You've been hiding this from me," Steve says, running his fingertips over the curve of the letters on Eddie's skin. Eddie shivers under the light touch.

"I thought it might be you, but I wasn't sure," Eddie says back.

"But you wanted it to be," he says, taking the leap. He thinks Eddie wanted it to be him. He hopes he wanted it to be him.

Eddie looks him in the eyes, that fear still gripping him. "I wanted it to be you so fucking bad, Stevie. I thought, when I got my words- I thought that I had wished it true, that I wanted you so badly that I made the universe make it you. And I've been feeling so fucking guilty this entire time because of it."

"Guilty?" he asks, confused.

Eddie nods. "Like I forced it into existence because I wanted it too much."

"I don't think that's how the universe works, Eddie."

"I think it's a special case because you don't even like guys and somehow you got one as a soulmate. Got me as a soulmate." Eddie looks so dejected, so guilty about it that Steve has to set him straight.

"Eddie, we've been soulmates since the moment we met," he says, tearing his eyes away from writing on his chest, the writing that's in Steve's handwriting, tolook into Eddie's eyes. "Even if we never got the mark, you would still be it for me."

Eddie bites his lip, glancing down at Steve's mouth quickly. "Do you mean that?" he asks, still hesitant.

"I mean it. I- we've never really talked about who we're into, and maybe that was a mistake. Because I do like guys. Or- well, I like you. I've liked you for so long," he says, glancing down at Eddie mouth too.

He thinks getting to kiss him would either calm his rapidly beating heart down or send him straight into orbit. Either way, he's going to find out.

"You like me? Me?" Eddie asks, surprised, and Steve swoops in to kiss the incredulity off his tongue.

He presses his mouth to the plush lips in front of him, just a gentle press at first and he feels more than hears Eddie gasp against his lips.

It's-

People talk all the time about how kissing your soulmate is different from kissing just anyone. That it's somehow astronomically different. But Steve's never understood it until now.

Because how can kissing your soulmate feel any different from kissing someone else? Sure, maybe there's different feelings involved, but if you love someone who isn't your soulmate, does that mean kissing them wouldn't be as good?

These were the questions Steve used to think about when he would think about who his future soulmate might be. Back in middle school and early high school.

How could kissing anyone feel that much different?

It's what all the magazines say, all the romance novels and the tv shows and movies too. They all say that it's different, that you'll know for sure, as if there could be any doubt with the first thing they say to you marked on your skin forever.

Steve never thought they could be right, that it was a dramatization of what it really is. That even through the woo-woo soulmate magic or whatever, kissing would still feel like kissing, no matter who you were kissing.

He's never been more glad to be wrong about something.

Because it is different. Somehow, it is.

It's different from kissing Nancy, who Steve was very much in love with.

It's different from kissing any of the girls he's kissed in the past, different from the one very confusing kiss he shared with Tommy Hagan back in sixth grade for "practice".

It's like there's an energy between them, the force that's been trying to pull them together for years finally snapping into place.

Something inside him feels settled. Like for the first time in his life, he feels content. All the background noise - the leaky kitchen faucet Steve has heard since stepping inside the house, the birds outside, the buzz of electricity that Steve can always hear - it all just fades away.

All he's left with is Eddie, right in front of him.

He's the only thing he can feel right now, the only thing he can hear and taste and smell, and see when he pulls back from the kiss.

Eddie had his eyes closed, so Steve gets to see him blink them open slowly, like his whole world has been shifted too. Like something is finally settled inside him too.

It kind of makes Steve want to cry again, embarrassingly enough.

He cups Eddie's jaw and leans in to kiss him again, this time swiping his tongue across his lower lip. Eddie opens his mouth and Steve tilts his head to the side and presses his tongue inside his mouth.

Their tongues tangle together for the first time and it's so heady, Steve feels dizzy with it. He kisses him harder, licking into his mouth, both hands now on either side of his head, not trapping him or keeping him there, just holding him so he can be kissed by Steve for as long as they both want it.

Eddie's hands find Steve's waist, and one slips up under his shirt. He touches the words written onto Steve's rib cage and Steve trembles, the skin contact making him shivery with want.

And god, does he want.

He wants everything. He wants to keep kissing Eddie until the room around them darkens as the sun goes down. He wants to stand here kissing him for hours, wants to bite his lips until they're swollen and tender and then keep on kissing his bruised mouth. He wants to touch him, wants to put his hands everywhere, wants Eddie's hands on him.

He's snapped out of the trance Eddie's mouth has put him in by a tap-tap-tap on the glass door.

They pull apart slowly, their mouths separating with a slick sound that Steve's going to be replaying in his head for hours.

They both look at the back door where Rick is standing.

"Can I come back in now? It's chilly," he asks, his voice muffled through the glass.

Steve rolls his eyes and steps back from Eddie.

Eddie grins at him and says, "Yeah, man. Come on in."

Rick slides the door open, steps back inside, and says, "Glad you two finally worked this all out then. Maybe now Eddie will stop complaining about it all the time."

Eddie looks at Rick, betrayed, then looks at Steve and says, "I don't- I do not complain. I was just, I do probably talk about it a lot, but I wasn't complaining, exactly-"

"Eddie, you complain more than anyone I know, about everything," Steve says, voice playful.

Eddie lets out an exaggerated gasp. "You're going to say that to me, your soulmate?"

Steve just rolls his eyes.

He's got the rest of their life to get Eddie to admit that he's the most dramatic person he knows.

---

tagging people who voted for this in the wip game or asked to be tagged: @legitcookie @sidekick-hero + @patchworkgargoyle 💕💕💕

[nalyra-dreaming]

I'm a black fan and I tend to get a little annoyed when another black or poc fan makes assumptions on how I feel by making generalizations and saying things like "the reason black/poc fans..." I for one am actually excited to see the books play out and I don't want them to significantly deviate from the canon relationships because then it isn't color conscious casting, a facet to IWTV that has made it a standout against other media, but right back to color blind casting that we have seen in other movies and shows that to me, is lazy storytelling. I want the complexity that comes with being an interracial couple in the 1900's. I want the struggles of how one partner doesn't understand the other because they can sympathize but can't relate to the other's challenges. I want to see multifaceted black and ethnic characters make morally ambiguous decisions. It makes the reward of choosing each other despite the hardships that much sweeter for both Loustat and DM relationships. I don't want some lazy "they have to be a happy couple and the heroes of the story because they are nonwhite characters". What would we watch if we changed the dynamics of these characters because of their race? What would be their motivations to do the things they did? How would the story progress? Do we really want a story where Armand and Louis are just sitting in Dubai discussing their day over a couple of cups of blood tea because they are now a generic, non-problematic, happy, beautiful melanin homosexual couple without a care or struggle in the world just to appease some? How painfully dull and boring would that be? We would have no show.

I get it. Cinema has not always treated black and ethnic characters with care, but we have to think about what we are asking for here. They are giving us a show were we have fully fleshed out, enriched characters of different backgrounds (black, white, south asian, biracial, etc) and the writers actually made the effort and did the leg work to actually make it make sense. Several are represented and it fits into the story without coming off like a ploy. It's a beautiful thing.

Nothing for me to add here. Thank you.

[eponastory]

I'm gonna hash out some arguments that don't work here.

Make it make sense.

The colonizer/colonized argument was the first thing that was brought up. If that were the case, then why is Aang willing to accept and be friends with Zuko even though Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads? Why is Sokka friends with Zuko when he experienced the loss of his mother just like Katara? Like... come on, people. Make it make sense.

Then we go into the whole attraction argument... because Zutara shippers apparently don't like that Aang is shorter than Katara.

Height has nothing to do with it (hey, I dated a guy who was shorter than me, we were pretty good together). This argument relies on Katara and Zuko being the most attractive characters in the show... nope. That's not why we ship them. It's literally their personality and disposition that we like. That and Zuko let's Katara be Katara. He doesn't see her as someone who is supposed to be forgiving and at peace. That isn't in her nature either and she doesn't have to make that choice if she doesn't want to. Aang wants her to be forgiving, but that is not his choice to make.

Then, there is the whole childhood trauma argument.

Yes, they both have trauma, but guess what, they both overcome that trauma.

I'll start with Zuko, who not only had a narcissistic sociopath for a father, but had to deal with emotional and physical abuse from said parent. Ozai literally told his own son that he was lucky to be born because he was not the prodigy like Azula. Ozai played favorites (which is something we see Aang do with his kids later on), and that damages a child more than anything. In Book 1, Zuko is trying to please his father and be the heir that Ozai wants him to be. He is frustrated and angry because of this. This is something Zuko overcomes later on in Book 3 when he actually confronts Ozai. It's a really good scene where Zuko addresses the abuse from his father. This is where Zuko starts to heal from that trauma. He let's it go and does the right thing, ultimately learning he was trying to fill a mold his father made for him.

On to Katara's trauma... loss. Loss of a parent. Something that she and Zuko share. However, Zuko does get his mother back in his life (along with another little sister, and I love his relationship with Kiyi). Katara does get closure and is able to accept that killing Yon Rha is not going to bring Kya back. However, she doesn't have to forgive him. It's possible that she believes the man is already suffering for his actions. It's not the best way to deal with it, but for her it is. Katara is very maternal, which is a great aspect of her character. The reason she is like this is because she lost her mother. Her innocence was ripped from her the day Kya died. Her childhood was cut short.

Does this make trauma a facet to a toxic relationship? No. It doesn't. Because they both dealt with their trauma the way they needed to before they could truly become friends. Katara also helped Zuko come to terms with his trauma as well.

So, would Zutara actually work?

Yeah, it would because they have mutual respect for each other. Once they get past the past, they really don't have a problem with communication, boundaries, or expect to hold up an image of each other. Those are the foundation of a good relationship. It's all there. Even if it's 'just friends'.

Kataang, on the other hand... oh boy.

[swanpyart]

Prepare For My Most Deranged Slay The Princess Theory That Makes Sense The More You Think About It - The Narrator IS Another Voice

I'm a bit jumbled so bear with me, but I realized a lot of odd things that give me the idea that the Narrator is actually another Voice and another facet of the Long Quiet.

The game goes out of its way to make it clear that the Narrator is different from the Voices; he has a degree of power over the Player that the other Voices initially lack, he has info about the world that the Player does not, and his authoritative nature puts him (and us by default) in opposition with the Princess. Because of this, none of the other Voices treat him as an equal or even as a friend: They are all either opposed to him, treat him as someone who can be listened to but ultimately ignored, or outright dismiss him. In the Thorn Route, Hero even points out that the Narrator "doesn't count" as one of them.

Another difference is that the Narrator never learns new info from previous chapters; we essentially get a new Narrator each one, while literally EVERYONE else remembers what happened before. This alone feels like the game pointing out the disconnect between the Narrator and the rest of the Long Quiet.

Now, for what my theory hinges upon.... the Start Over Ending, where the Princess wipes the Long Quiet's memories and causes the entire game to start over from scratch. The interesting part of this is that both the Long Quiet AND the Princess remark that there's a chance that they'd done this before, possibly countless times, because they were unable to make a permanent decision the previous times.

If this is actually true, and the Long Quiet and the Shifting Mound have been in this perpetual cycle of the Long Quiet finding five vessels, the Narrator's Echo fading away, both gods realizing their true natures but being unable to compromise, and the Princess wiping both of their memories and forcing a restart.... then what becomes of the Narrator? How does he come back for things to restart?

"Well, obviously he's resurrected," You might say, but we're not given any reason to believe that the Long Quiet can resurrect an actual mortal person, right? The entire point of the game is the inevitability of death, and that "even in rebirth, things can't be the same." Not only that, Nary is an Echo, not an actual person, so his presence as a living being is one that's even more precarious than an actual human life; focusing too much on him makes him fade away. The Long Quiet and the Princess can come back from death, but those two are literally GODS.

So, my main theory is this: The Narrator we hear throughout the game is no longer the Narrator the Long Quiet may have originally started with in the VERY first loop with the Shifting Mound, right after the Creator killed himself and split the Gods in half. The original Narrator is actually long dead, along with his original Echos, and now he is merely another Voice of the Long Quiet assuming His role. Perhaps at one point, the Narrator was actually a person who wanted to rid the world of death, and created an Echo of himself to do it, but the Echo of that human has long since faded away, only to be replaced by the Long Quiet to maintain the illusion of the loop.

In this light, it's entirely possible that every version of the Narrator and the Creator we meet is merely an extension of the Long Quiet playing the role of an omniscient storyteller. This could be part of why the Narrator struggles to answer in-depth questions, and why the Creator never goes into detail about his true identity as a human. The Long Quiet doesn't actually know much about the one who created him, and gives the same recycled lines he heard long ago from the voice of a long-dead man.

So, why does the Narrator never remember previous Chapters? That's his role. Every Voice has specific skills and abilities, and the Narrator's role, as a Voice, is to maintain a status quo. With no storyteller, there is no path in the woods, there is no cabin, there is no Pristine Blade, and there is no basement. There's no vehicle through which the Long Quiet and the Shifting Mound can reach an agreement of some kind.

The irony, then, that, if this idea is true, that the Narrator, hellbent on destroying the Shifting Mound, then becomes a vehicle through which her love for the Long Quiet facilitates. It's no wonder that, Like the Voice of the Hero, the Narrator is ALWAYS with us, and if Hero represents our agency, then Nary represents the scenario through which to exercise that agency.

Let me know if I sound like a madman lmao

[funnier-as-a-system]

I'm not a system, I just have a question

Does everyone in a system usually have different hobbies? Like one person (? Idk what you call it) would draw and then another would be into sports?

(sorry if this doesn't make sense)

A system is not too different from any other group of people. So, yes, the members of a system may have different hobbies, but it's also possible for headmates to share hobbies, especially if they aren't very separate from one another. You can think of systems in this case as being like a family – it's likely that at least a few hobbies will be shared (sometimes, depending on how close and connected they are, everyone may have all of the same hobbies!), but each member is probably going to have their own preferences and opinions on how they spend their free time.

The catch is that system members often share hobbies due to the restrictions of sharing a single body and life. For example, it's not always possible for one specific headmate with a hobby that involves appointments (say, sports practice) to be fronting during those times. In this instance, other headmates would participate instead, which could be considered "sharing a hobby". There can be some nuance and complexities here, but the point I want to bring up is that in these cases, headmates will often participate in each other's hobbies even if they don't particularly enjoy or are interested in them, just so their other system members won't run into any problems when they're able to return to those hobbies themselves. In this way, a hobby may or may not be considered "shared", but may still be participated in by several headmates.

As for what we call members of a system, there are many available terms. The two most common are alter and headmate, but other popular terms include facets, parts, persons, and sysmates. Personally, we prefer "selves" and "others" for our own system, and find "selves" is most useful when explaining plurality to people who have never heard of it before, but we most often use "headmates" for clarity of communication when interacting with the plural and system communities (hence why we used the term while answering this ask). If you're interacting individually with a system, it's best to ask what terms they prefer, but most won't be offended if you default to "headmate", "alter", or "system member" when speaking generally. There's no one perfect consensus within the community.

Hope this helps, anon!