#if they talk about her at some point after mid third season that’s my bad I’m still catching up

[insecuregodcomplex]

for no particular reason

[prettycoolducks]

Soooo I got some doctor who thoughts. Below the cut. Very spoilers.

FIRST OFF. I have to clear the air. Space babies sucked. It sucked bad. And it wasn't the ugly cgi baby mouths (ugly cgi is a staple of doctor who and cannot be criticized). Aside from the unfunny fart and booger jokes, this episode felt childish and not in a fun way. The "point" of the episode was handed to us in a very heavy allegory. Which is... fine. Not unusual but it doesn’t necessarily make for a good episode of doctor who. Also. Every important bit of info about the doctor was spilled in an exposition vomit pretty early on. From the get go we know pretty much every bit of trauma the doctor has. He spills it pretty readily and without hesitation. At first I thought this was just a case of bad writing, telling not showing (and there definitely is a lot of that regardless), etc. But after the devils chord I think there might be some more depth to that. I'll come back to that later. Back to space babies. The episode ends on a pretty bad fart joke, and the strange talking babies bit did not help one bit. I will say, I think I would have enjoyed this episode a bit more if the babies either: communicated telepathically, or the show just used the pre-established fact that the doctor speaks baby. Babies that talk is a joke that just... never lands well for me, and often ends with a lot of "ewww potty humor." So if they just didn't talk I would like it a bit more. Also. Um. The doctor said the word space babies like 10 times at least that episode. Why couldn't he just call them babies? Calling them space babies could be a fine one off joke. (I can very clearly imagine 11 being like, "babies, babies on a space ship, babies in space.. space babies!" And Amelia or someone rolling their eyes and we're done with it.) Instead it was the world's most nothing repeated joke. Whatever. There are episodes worse than space babies. It is slightly below mid but not bad in a way that makes me mad (eg sleep no more). I will say, it is easy to focus on the bad in this episode, but there were some highlights that I'd like to talk about, like the fact that it snows when Ruby thinks about her past... hmmm... I'll get to that later.

So. The devil's chord. It is very quickly established that the doctor and ruby have had some offscreen adventures, but I didn't find that quite believable? Not in the sense that I don't think they did but it just doesn't come across as very believable with the fact that it is only their second adventure in the tardis together and it is the third episode in the season. And stuff like Ruby being like, "you never hide!" despite their last episode being the episode where the doctor hides. I need some control episodes away from the major plot here for lines like that to happen. Some real "weird aliens in space" episodes that have no bearing on the rest of the plot, yknow? It felt like this episode should've been a bit later on the season. Also. This season is only 8 episodes long. It is short. I think a problem with this formula especially for shows like doctor who means it doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for character moments and low stakes episodes. And you can definitely feel it here and in stuff like Flux. I enjoyed Flux to bits but when something didn't work it just didn't work, because there were no chances to make up for it with other episodes.

Okay. Complaining over. Devil's chord was really really good. As soon as we got into the meat of the episode itself I immediately forgot about my earlier woes with it. It was very engaging and there were a lot of fun fourth wall breaks that didn't break the spell at all. And. Coming back to my earlier statement: I think it was very clear this episode that the doctor just openly stating his trauma is actually him deflecting very hard. Like. "Yup! Everyone I know is dead ^_^ and maybe my granddaughter too! :D anyway! You wanna go see the beatles?" I'm better because you got better my ass. Anyway. Maestro was fun the musical stuff was childish IN A FUN WAY and I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Now... I have some theories. First of all: something is off about our girl Ruby Sunday. Something is off with the universe, yes, but Ruby seems to have some powers of some kind. Her emotions and ideas of how things should be are affecting the world around her. Also. She doesn't feel... real. And that's where I can't tell if it's intentional or bad writing. I feel like I don't know anything about Ruby Sunday as a character. What is her personality? Her worries, flaws? Her relationship with her mother and grandmother feels very... artificial. Very nonspecific. In fact, a lot about Ruby feels artificial. Now, RTD of ye olde wrote from a very, VERY character driven standpoint (even if that meant sacrificing the integrity of the plot!) And made a point to show a lot about the companions' lives. RTD of now... I'm not so sure. The specials left me wanting to know more about Rose and Donna's lives that I feel like we didn't get. I at least definitely wanted more time with Rose and her day to day life. This is another case where I'm unsure if Ruby getting the same treatment is intentional or just poor writing again. I AM convinced, however, that Ruby is not a real person. I think she definitely has some relation to the gods, though I'm not quite sure she is one herself. After all, the maestro seemed very perturbed at her existence.

Here is a second thing I've noticed about Ruby. She is VERY similar to Rose. The phone, the space station, blonde, 4 letter name starts with R, the threat of a paradox outside a church. Ruby wants to see her mother, Rose wanted to see her dad. Not sure how much of it is RTD being an old dog with no new tricks and how much of it is intentional but it FEELS intentional.

Back to Ruby feeling not real, it almost feels like she's the perfect companion? Or at least an amalgamation of all the companions before her. She's also exactly what the doctor needs right now. He's grappling with being some sort of lost child with no parents and no home. Even though his home is destroyed, he now knows it was never his home in the first place. And here comes along Ruby, the child abandoned on the steps of a church on Christmas Eve. It almost seems like Ruby was made for the doctor at this moment in time. Was she created in his image? If, because of the salt at the edge of the universe, what we imagine becomes real, was Ruby imagined as a companion by the doctor? That doesn't necessarily mean she isn't real, but she may have been made real. Much to think about. I've even seen theories that Ruby is the same species as the doctor, but I'm not so sure about that.

One theory that does interest me is that the new season takes place in a TV show. It... well, it actually makes a lot of sense. The fourth wall breaks, the impromptu musical numbers, the fantasy element- there's a lot this season that lends itself to that. OH YEAH. And the sonic looks like a TV remote. Lol. Seeing as we just had an episode about a god that controls music, and we had an episode before that about a god that controls games, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that there's a god of TV that is fucking with reality.

Overall, I'm just really curious to see how this will all be resolved. Is Ruby somehow created by the imagination of the doctor? Or was she created by the pantheon just to fuck with him? If she really isn't real, how will that be resolved when they inevitably solve the fantasy leaking into reality salt at the edge of the universe deal? Will she go away with it? Or has she cemented her place in reality? Lots of questions to be had. I have one million more thoughts I'm sure I'll think of later, but I'm gonna stop this here for now. I'm really curious to see more people's theories...

[co-mixed]

One Girl in All the World: a super spoilery review

There’s a non-spoiler review on my insta but here I’m planning to go all out. I wanna share my thoughts on all the things that were going through my mind while I was reading, but because there were too many, I’m just gonna talk about some. 

In Every Generation was exactly what I wanted the canon to be. Picking up after the show’s been off the air for a while (a long while), not focusing on what happened to the majority of main characters (but briefly hinting at that), and telling the story of a slayer (or the slayer). 

And One Girl continues this tradition, putting Frankie against a new Big Bad. 

Here come the spoilers so go on ahead if you’ve read the book. 

The story

It feels like season 2, where Frankie already has her slayer routine down, has her Scoobies in check and training, and a demon to swoon after. I guess, for a slayer, this would be what passes for normal life. First of all, this all fits in well with Buffy s2. It definitely gives off the same vibe and, what I like most, the Big Bad is not ancient evil like the Countess, but something more personal – a slayer. Or rather a band of slayers with Vi, which makes it personal for Hailey, and Aspen as their leader, which makes it personal for Frankie (because she’s Grim’s evil ex although he himself may or may not be evil, so…). And the fact that Buffy’s disappeared makes it personal for everyone else. 

Of course, you don’t trust the sappy “I want to give the power back” from Aspen. You buy it from Vi, but we know her. Vi isn’t evil but she’s traumatized which I love as a concept because we never got to see the real impact of surviving the first with no slayer power to back you up. And those girls went through hell. Just getting the power doesn’t make you strong and doesn’t make you a hero. 

But Aspen wasn’t there, and she’s the other side of that coin - when you get the power you might want more. I think I called it right away through all of the hints at her personality. Which are brilliantly done, I can almost see how it could have happened in the show, somewhere mid-season. So Aspen is the evil slayer who recruited a bunch of others, including Vi, for her cause that is seemingly humanitarian but really just a power grab. I actually see Kennedy trying to pull something like that and not just because she’s irritating, but because she’s too power-hungry. Alas, it’s not her. It’s Aspen, who skillfully invents just enough propaganda to brainwash a bunch of slayers who weren’t in s7 and are nowhere near Buffy’s inner circle.

Speaking of Buffy, she’s alive (which no one tells Dawn, which IS classic Willow to be fair), and imprisoned in another dimension. This is a good balance between where we need her to be – not in this story, and where we can’t in good faith put her – in the ground (again! Third time’s a charm). And this is very fair, since Buffy has no place in this particular story. No matter, at what point she shows up, she will immediately draw all attention to herself. She is a great motivation and role model for Frankie, and in a way, it would’ve made every bit of sense to me even if she was dead. Yeah, I love Buffy and don’t go all you’re betraying the icon for a new kid. But as long as Buffy’s alive, it would be hard to let her go and follow another slayer. 

And the inevitable question of who she ends up with? It shouldn’t really be resolved. That’s it on Buffy because see? She’s already taking up too much time, and this isn’t even her story. 

So Frankie’s up against slayers which is scary and unfair and seems impossible. 

To make things worse, she’s up against an army of familiar demons. And here is one of the things I love: every book tries to namedrop the demons we know: Fyarls, M’Fashniks, hellhounds, etc. Most do it randomly and aggressively and you feel slightly irritated. This one gives you a damn good reason with the beacon and doesn’t really focus on the demons as much as their impact. And the “greatest hits” comment is very well deserved.

The swim team tho… that really made me laugh out loud and with joy. It’s like every easter egg is done in a very loving manner. I love that, and while it doesn’t hit at nostalgia (because I just finished a rewatch and because I watched the show 8 times in 3 years), it does tie in to the history of Sunnydale. 

Frankie and her Scoobies are up to the challenge though, and with a little help from their friends and adults, they defeat demons with blunt force and slayers with smarts. Which really sums up Frankie and establishes her as her own slayer with her own approach. She has the “I’m not Buffy” moment and I love her for owning that. And once again, this follows the show in a smooth manner. Something similar, mind you, already drove Faith to evil, so could we stop comparing slayers? 

The story is wholesome like a tv season, so you feel like you’re still watching the show. And its ending leaves so many stories to be told. I am really not ready for this to be just a three-book story. 

The Characters

Always my favorite part. 

Are we the grownups?

I watched Stranger Things just last year and the thing I loved most is that it feels like a ya show, but it has several arcs for several groups of characters with different ages thus avoiding the absent parent issue that used to be a staple for ya. 

This same thing happens in both IEG and OGIATW. Only the adults are actually involved where it matters. We know these adults and we know how it used to be only their thing. Yeah, they had Giles also, but he was still very much a watcher, an authority. And Willow and Oz, they feel much more like how we feel now. Relatable. They still don’t know what they’re doing (because who ever does?) and they have to combine parenting with the supernatural stuff. They wonder how Joyce and Giles managed (they drank). This hits close to home whether or not you have kids. And immediately you can put yourself in Willow and Oz’s shoes. 

How mature are any of us anyway? 

There’s their relationship as well, that’s brought up again in this book. The fragile co-parenting thing on top of their past. It’s lovely how this gets resolved and then Sarafina shows up to both complicate and uncomplicate things. Again, like in the show, life is happening and it feels cozy.

The kids are alright 

The only issue I have with this book is there’s not enough room for everything that I wanna know. I wanna spend more time with these characters, hang out with them between patrols more and I understand that that’s simply impossible in just one book. But some side stories would sure be nice. Tell them in comics because I don’t see much fan art and I want to see fan art. I think I’m most impressed by their non-toxic dynamic. Buffy, Willow, and Xander managed to be terrible to each other and never address them. We still love them, (except for Xander) but we call this out daily. Frankie, Hailey, and Jake are not that at all. They are supportive and open, and that helps them. That’s why when Frankie’s with Jake before the final battle, getting their kindergarten magic, it seems natural and honest. If they ever turn on each other, there better be a damn good reason.

Frankie 

This girl is fantastic. I already covered her slayer side and her skill. But I’m yet to talk about who she is. Which is something she herself is trying to figure out, and like most teens, she compares herself to others. Like most teens, she looks at herself through a magnifying glass and finds herself lacking. But she learns to appreciate it and sticks to her own style. That’s so useful coming from a teen character who isn’t confident. Gaining that confidence without relying just on superpowers (because so what if she’s a slayer, who isn’t?) is what Frankie does flawlessly.  

There’s also first love (in her case it’s really more hormones than in Buffy’s). Still, all the similarities are done in such a hilarious way when everyone around her says “No, no, no!” (except Hailey who’s all “Go for it!”). I love how it dawns on Willow that she used to be that same support group for Buffy. But Frankie did indeed, inherit the main Slayer gene with going for the dark broody type who may or may not be evil. And there’s something both mature in the fact that she understands this ambiguity right away, and her incredibly immature teen-crush attitude. 

While many may say that it was the same for Buffy, I can’t agree. Buffy was more independent by that point, her life was entirely different, and she continued to grow in that relationship. Also, 200 years vs 2000 is a considerable difference. But you know what, we aren’t talking about that, and not ever in comparison to real life. 

Back to Frankie and her hot demons. She has her own way of dealing with relationship issues, and that’s a damn straightforward one. I admire that, and to me, this is one of the things that modern teens probably do better than we used to. There are fewer games and assumptions. Still, even with that, a teen is a teen, so she isn’t wise beyond her years and she will make mistakes.

Hailey 

The dynamic between sisters, especially conflicted, is something I had no doubt Kendare Blake could manage. After Three Dark Crowns and (earning redemption for Kat of all people), that is a given. Hailey is the “powerless” one of the bunch. But she works hard and she is a very formidable opponent even for demons. She has a lot going on too, with the new relationship that seems to be going well prior to meeting the parent. And that’s a timeless issue, I mean when was it ever not an issue? Expectations are absolutely always in the way and she ends up in this annoying limbo where she wants to know what Sig is thinking but he doesn’t let her. And like so many of us, she takes the only exit we know – push ‘till you get the answer. Is that right or not? I mean, who really knows? 

Now there’s an irreparable strain on her and Sig, and Sarafina might go away but the issues won’t. 

See, High school is still hell doesn’t matter whether you’re actually in class. 

Jake

Jake also has things to sort out. First of all, with his wolf: he wants to get the level of control Oz has, but is he doing it for the right reasons? This can be a metaphor for a lot of things, especially in your teens. But he’s trying to grow up faster and become more of use. While no one actually knows how it would work for him. I honestly even forgot that he was born a werewolf, and we haven’t seen that yet. But I love that with this book Buffy lore is getting richer.  

The other thing for Jake is his feelings for Sam (who’s still wondering why Spike didn’t let him join the D&D campaign). Sam is Jake’s friend, we already met him, and here has his first encounter with the demonic creatures. He is gonna have a tough choice to make and had it been a show, imagine the drama. But so far it seems like their relationship is gonna go fine, they both like each other and have things to discuss and figure out. I keep saying it feels like season 2, and it does because of these little things. That’s why I want more time with these characters, they have their own sectors of life that are so exciting.

Spike (neither a kid nor an adult really)

I was thinking of throwing him in with the adults but come on, it’s Spike. If you missed him for what he was in the show, then don’t sleep on this series. It’s literally the same character: he’s not an overly romanticized love interest, he is still recalling the good old days when he ate people, he attends a poetry club (which is both funny and perfect for him), he’s irresponsible when it comes to his day job (rebel). And you can bet he will try to look cool when there’s a chance of seeing Buffy again. 

Not to compare but the things that irritated me in Big Bad and Bloody Fool for Love (neither book is bad but I prefer both vampires closer to canon) are averted here. You instantly recognize the Spike you know. And his Watchering… well let’s just say we could argue whether his statement from the first book is true and Wesley was the worst. I mean both got rogue slayers on their hands, and he is still learning how to be the good Watcher with Frankie. But no one is perfect and he’s at least getting closer. 

Personally, I think Robin Wood would’ve been the perfect Watcher. Much better than Andrew.

To sum it up:

The story continues to metaphorize teen experiences.

It works well for both old and new Buffy fans, and for every generation.

Every character we know feels absolutely true to who they should be by now. 

Lore gets expanded and some theories even bring more sense to the go show. 

New Scoobies are established and going strong.

There are hints at future character arcs and a strong idea of what’s at the core of the next book.

As far as expansions on the canon go, this one is perfect in every sense.

[myloveoffandoms]

Currently re-watching the fosters and I have some opinions. Please bare in mind i’m mid season 2 of rewatch and going based of memory from first watch well the show was airing. My opinions can and will change as I continue i'm sure.

First - Callie can and is very selfish throughout the show. One thing that I will always find so selfish and shows just how selfish she can be is running away the night of the wedding. I know she is selfish with brandon but to runaway after being told they want to adopt you and then run on the wedding night. 

Second - They dropped the ball with Callie and Stef's relationship. In the first season you can see how much Stef loves Callie and wants better and more for her. In later seasons we don’t see much build on this. the dynamic is still there at certain points but I feel they could have done way more than what they did. I could go so in depth on this from the way Stef looked at her in the courtroom with liam to crying after she ran and even just the way stef spoke about her to others!

Third - Why is there like no development for Callie and Jesus. I don't recall any major moments for these characters almost as if they never interact. Another dropped ball maybe even never picked up.

Fifth - Why do I always see they could have cast Callie and Brandon as twin siblings then lovers... I just find they look alike and if i was a girl at the group home when Callie ran to him if i didn't know the age of the brother I would probably think he was her brother... 

Fourth - Calie makes faces like bella swan... 

Lexi - I feel she is the definition of a character to move the plot forward. She screamed filler character to me when I first watched and she still screaming it now. They could have done more but I still enjoyed her short lived storylines. 

Wyatt - My boy was played and dissed so bad by the fosters so bad. I say this because more often then not he was used by Callie and then i know there was some build with Marianna but she used him as well in a way even if she had true feelings at one point. Also episode where Callie runs off with him and they talk time travel love it considering the actor later plays in the Travelers later! He was so holsome in this show. He just wanted to do what he could for her. I feel at parts you can tell how much he loved Callie even though she didn't have the same feelings. THEM LOCKS OF HAIR THO!!!! (season one) I know from what i remember in later season as i said above he gets with Mariana but i'm not gonna comment much more on him till i get to that storyline. 

Sorry for spelling or grammatical errors. 

[backtothestart02]

The Right Brand of Luck - 1/1 | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Mini break before the next installment of Mixed Drink. Enjoy.

...

Synopsis: College!AU - Iris had her eyes set on the star baseball player, until fumbling, uncoordinated number six Barry Allen walked into her line of vision.

...

Iris stepped onto the steel bleachers and made her way across the wide, nearly empty expanse until she was near the dugout for the home team. The players were currently mid-field with their coach, likely getting some last-minute pep talk before the opposing team arrived.

“I still don’t see why you wanted to watch the game,” Linda said, taking a seat beside her and already fanning herself with her hand as the humidity started to take effect. “You hate sports.”

Iris shot her a look.

“You know why, Lin. Don’t pretend you don’t.”

It took her a few seconds, and then-

“Wait, this is about Mark?”

“Mhmm.” Iris nodded, grinning, as she spotted him in the huddle from afar and zeroed her gaze in on his voluptuous ass.

“Iris, honey, you know he has a girlfriend.” She put her hand on her best friend’s arm, lowering her voice.

“Yeah, so what? He’s easy on the eyes. If everyone else is going to be lusting after him, so can I.”

“Alright, just so you know tha-”

“I mean, just look at those full globes he has there…I could just, I could squeeze ‘em!” She clenched her fingers together, making Linda’s jaw drop.

Iris caught her stare and rolled her eyes.

“His eyes aren’t bad either…and those full lips, mm!”

Linda laughed.

“You’re terrible.”

“I’m horny, and he’s gorgeous. Those are the only facts I know.”

Linda shook her head but made no further attempt to dissuade Iris from her drooling. Before they knew it, the team had broken apart and were practicing some pitching and catching just as a bus drove up with the opposing team.

While Linda’s gaze moved towards the new arrivals, Iris’ gaze was drawn to a scrawny-looking player on the field who approached the coach – and, when she counted, with him included it was an odd number of players.

“Hey, Lin, Lin!” She nudged her side with her elbow until she got her attention. “Who’s that one? Number 6?”

Linda focused, and instantly recognized the figure in question.

“Oh, that’s Barry Allen. Coach’s kid. Total flop. I don’t think he’s been in a single game all season, except when he had to be for reasons, I suppose. Mrs. Allen definitely had to pull some strings to get him even on the team.”

Iris frowned.

“He’s that bad?”

Linda nodded gravely.

“He can’t catch a ball, he swings and misses, his run is terrible, more like a slow jog. It’s an embarrassment when he steps up to the plate honestly.”

Iris felt strangely defensive on his behalf.

“That’s kind of…mean, Linda. And how do you know all this anyway?”

Linda was taken aback a bit, but she supposed her friend had a point.

“They film these games and show them in the rec rooms and the gym. The games are always on when I’m in there. I do like sports, remember?”

“Yes, of course.”

Iris nibbled on her bottom lip, unable to take her eyes off this Barry Allen. He had no ass and no muscle period from what she could tell. Plus, Linda was right – he did move kind of awkwardly even when he wasn’t running. He was definitely not made for baseball. Maybe a science or a chess club.

And yet…

“Do you think he’s asking to be put on the bench?” Iris asked.

Linda shook her head.

“I’ve been to a couple other games in person, and I was close enough to the dugout to hear him complain.”

“Complain? About what?”

“He wants third base.”

Iris’ eyes bulged.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty much oblivious to how bad he is.”

“Oh, my god. Poor baby.”

Linda turned to her, amused.

“Poor baby?”

Iris avoided her prying eyes.

“Well, you have to feel bad for the guy. He must love the sport if he’s always asking for a position he clearly doesn’t thrive in.”

“He doesn’t thrive in any position.”

“Maybe he just hasn’t had the right cheerleader to get him in the zone yet.”

A smirk tugged on Linda’s lips.

“I thought you were here for the star player, not the underdog,” she teased.

“I-I am here for Mark,” she stuttered. “Did you not just hear me lusting over him?”

“You’re blushing.”

“I am not blushing! You couldn’t even see if I was anyway. My skin’s too dark.”

“Tell me, Iris.” Linda propped her chin in her hand and leaned toward her friend. “If I felt your cheeks right now, would they be hot or…room temperature?”

Flustered, Iris looked away.

“We’re outside where it’s hot and muggy, so obviously they’d be hot for that reason alone.”

“Uh-huh. He’s single, you know.”

“I don’t care if he’s- Oh, shut up. The other team’s heading in now. It must be about to start.”

Linda laughed, but Iris was right about one thing. The countdown to the game starting was on its way. The new players poured onto the field to warm up as the home team went into the dugout. More and more people filled the bleachers too to the point where it was almost stifling moving in any which way because the benches were so packed.

Iris was glad they were near the end of an aisle for easy exit when the game was over, and if she decided to bail early. She suddenly wasn’t interested at all in watching Mark run from base to base or hit some home runs. Like Linda had said, he had a girlfriend, so no action was coming from that corner any time soon.

But Barry…

No. Stop it, Iris. He’s totally not your type.

But, gnawing on her bottom lip again, she found her eyes drifting to number six on the bench, and when he took his hat off and reached for a water bottle to down some of the beverage, she saw his adam’s apple bob, and then it was all over for her.

His brown hair was wavy and sweaty as he ran his fingers through it. She was suddenly very jealous of those fingers that looked particularly long from this angle, and she wondered if they had any experience-

“Iris!”

Linda nudged her.

“Huh? What?”

Linda grinned, popping some popcorn into her mouth that she’d apparently gone to buy without Iris’ knowledge.

“They’re starting.”

“Oh.” She cleared her throat. “Right.”

“Want some?” she offered.

“No, I’m uh…I’m good.”

Then, to Iris’ astonishment, after the pledge of allegiance was finished, number six himself went to stand near the pitcher’s mound where a microphone was placed. The pep band began to play the national anthem, and on cue, Barry Allen opened his mouth and sang.

“Guess he’s good for one thing,” Linda murmured under her breath, but Iris wasn’t listening.

She was one hundred percent focused on the man before all of them. For what he lacked in playing, he delivered in music. He belted that song as if he’d had music lessons all his life and excelled at them. His hair waved in the wind, the light breeze that had started to brush across the land, and Iris unconsciously started to fan herself.

No teasing came from Linda this time, but when they sat down, she dug through her little purse for her make-up bag and reapplied her lipstick, pursing her lips in the small mirror she’d brought with her.

“Don’t tell me this is all for Allen?” Linda asked, astonished.

“He may have no ass, and he may not have any mad skills on the ball field, but that boy can sing, and his face isn’t too bad to look at either.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“I need to meet him.” She started to get up.

“Wait, Iris. I was joking before, okay? Joking! You can’t really be serious about this.”

“Deadly.”

Linda tugged on her arm before she got too far away.

“Okay, well, just…wait until they’ve done a few innings, yeah? You can’t just barge into the dugout, Iris. That’s not how it works.”

Iris considered that, then shook her head.

“Iris.”

“Watch me.”

She started down the stairs, trying to collect herself and figure out what exactly she was going to say. Maybe she should go buy a water, so he’d have one when he was finished with the one he was downing before even playing.

No, that was silly. Obviously, they’d have more waters for their players in the dugout. Probably in a cooler of some sort.

Dare she just give him her number? She didn’t even have something to write on. She paused at the bottom of the bleachers when her shoes hit the dirt and dug around in her purse. She found a pen but no paper.

Taking a deep breath, she walked closer and closer to the dugout, her heart pounding a million miles a second with every step she took.

Was she crazy to do this? He was nothing to her twenty minutes ago, and now all of a sudden…?

“Barry Allen!”

He didn’t hear her. There was too much cheering, and the announcers talking over even that with their need to narrate what was happening on the field. Iris hated that suddenly.

“Number six!”

He whipped his head around, looking for who had called him, and then their eyes locked. Iris swallowed hard and approached the fence.

“Hi,” she said, curling her fingers around the openings in the fence.

“Hi.” He waved pathetically. She thought it was adorable.

“You’re a really amazing singer,” she shouted over the crowds, and he visibly blushed, making heat surface in her neck and cheeks as well. “I wonder if I could…?” She held up her pen.

His eyes widened.

“You want my autograph?”

“Not exactly.”

She gestured for him to step just outside the dugout. He was so tall! In her sneakers she was practically a midget next to him It would’ve been alarming if his eyes hadn’t been such a deep green, and his hair, she was itching to touch it!

“Well?”

She blinked.

“Oh, right. Your hand?”

He frowned but extended it to her, and she took it in her own. She was trembling now, her heart racing, but she scribbled her number onto his palm. His eyes went wide again once he realized what she was doing.

“What if I sweat it off?” he asked, looking scared to death at that possibility.

Iris’ lips parted. She didn’t want to tell him how unlikely that was, given he’d probably be on the field for minimal playing time during the game.

“I’ll wait for you when they game’s over.”

His adam’s apple bobbed, and she felt her knees go weak.

“You’ll… You’ll wait for me?”

Iris blushed, ducking her head down briefly.

“To write my number again, if it’s been sweated away.”

“Okay,” he said, astonished and smiling like a fool.

Iris couldn’t stop smiling either, and to seal her lips back together, she pulled on his shoulder so he’d lean down to her, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I’ll see you later, Barry.”

She started walking away when all of a sudden, he panicked, even as his hand brushed the lipstick stain she’d left on his skin.

“Wait! I don’t even know your name!”

She spun around, grinning still.

“It’s Iris!”

“Iris,” he said faintly, so soft no one could hear him, but Iris saw his mouth forming the word. She couldn’t take her eyes off it until eventually he turned away to go sit back down in the dugout, and she made her way back to her seat.

“Well, you certainly made an impression,” Linda said, having gone from shocked to amused watching the whole transaction.

“Hmm?”

“Next up to the plate, we have number six!” An announcer said, cutting Linda off.

“Yes, that’s Barry Allen!” A second announcer said. “He hasn’t had much luck this season, but looks like he might’ve gotten a stroke of luck in the dugout just now. You see that uh…mark on his cheek?”

“That looks like some lipstick.”

Iris covered her mouth, horrified.

“Oh, no. I’ve embarrassed him.”

But Barry turned around briefly to find her in the crowd and grinned, blowing her a kiss.

“Whoo-ie!” The first announcer shouted. “Looks like we’re seeing young love unfold right before our eyes.”

Barry winked, adjusted his helmet and looked the pitcher square in the eyes. He gripped the bat, watched the ball as it tore threw the air, and then wham!

A cling sounded as his metal bat hit the ball and sent it soaring into the outfield.

Shocked beyond belief, it took him a second before his fellow teammates shouting at him to run kicked in, but when it did, he ran. Faster than he ever had in his life. He ran from one base to the next. For some reason the outfielders on the other team kept scrambling to catch the ball, and by the time they had it soaring to the pitcher, Barry Allen had slid across home plate.

“Aaaand it’s safe!”

But that wasn’t all. Barry kept going. He ran off the field, up the bleachers and straight for Iris, heaving when he got to her he was still trying to catch his breath.

Everyone went silent.

“Iris,” he said, revealing his hand to her and the numbers that were probably half on the metal bat at this point. “I think it’s smudged. Will you go out with me?”

She smiled slowly and yanked him down by the collar of his shirt.

“Yes,” she whispered, and sealed the promise with a steamy kiss.

The crowd cheered wildly, everyone grinning from ear to ear, even the announcers had something to say about it.

“I was told you weren’t a good player,” she admitted when they pulled apart.

“I’m not usually,” he said, on a laugh. “Something must be different with you.”

She smiled, butterflies exploding inside her and started to lean in for another kiss when collectively the announcers and the home team as a whole urged him back to the dugout.

“I’ll wait for you,” she said, laughing. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He grinned and made his way back to his team.

Iris took her seat back beside Linda, and Linda could only shake her head in awe.

“Well, that’s one way to get yourself a boyfriend.”

Iris blushed unashamedly this time, and Linda looped her arm through Iris’, happy for her.

When the game was over, Iris waited until Barry was free and went down to meet him. There he introduced her to his mother – the coach – by way of saying he wouldn’t be going with the team for their usual celebratory dinner, and they all understood.

Iris gave a nod to Linda who also understood and waved, texting later that she wouldn’t wait up for her in their dorm room.

As the sun started to set, Barry and Iris stood before it, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.

“What next?” Iris asked, after she’d put her number into his phone, and he’d returned the favor.

“The whole world?”

It was cheesy, and she knew it, but she felt as though she’d been lifted right off her feet, like she was floating on cloud nine. She couldn’t explain it, and she didn’t bother trying.

“Why don’t we start with ice cream,” she suggested, and he smiled slowly, leaning down for another kiss.

“Why don’t we start with this?”

Iris wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all her might, dizzy with lust and the crush of a lifetime as he kissed her back. This would be one night she’d never forget.

[postguiltypleasures]

My Peak TV Journey: *The Marvelous Mrs Maisel* 

A show I really want to talk about, but dread the discussion around. It is fraught. There are questions of authentic representation of Jewish life, what the audience is supposed to be charmed by versus turned off by. And to talk about it I also have to talk about the show’s creator, Amy Sherman-Palaldino’s previous shows, and that is less fresh in my mind. I don’t think the show is great. But I think some of the criticism are off base, and in someways might be missing the forest for the trees. 

I generally like Sherman-Palladino’s first hit, The Gilmore Girls, but didn’t watch the whole thing. A little baffled that now it seems ubiquitous in a way it wasn’t when it aired. I get that it is better for syndication than a lot of shows from its era, but it was on the lowest rated network! Almost canceled after the fourth season! The show’s creator/show runner left before the final season because the network did not think she was worth the money! Also people seem to think it was actually from the 1990s when it was of the 2000s. Some of the plots about the running of Stars Hollow felt like light satire of the Bush/Cheney administration, but I guess that feeling was lost in time. There were also a lot of pop culture references to events such as how ubiquitous The Lord of the Rings films were at the time. 

Anyway there isn’t exactly a dialogue between the two shows, but there are enough points of intersection that a comparison is useful. For example in the pilot, Midge makes some jokes about her daughter being ugly, in particular a too large head. Gilmore Girls fans may remember a seen in which it’s revealed that there are literally no pictures of Lorelei as a baby because Lorelei burned all the photos and the negatives after her parents had made too many comments about her too big head. This was a signal that Midge’s humor wasn’t going to be portrayed as consistently charming, and that Sherman-Paladino’s would agree with the people Midge rubs wrong. (It was also a reminder that Midge is of Emily Gilmore’s generation, and that maybe comparing Emily is a better comparison for her than Lorelei.) 

First, I need to say that despite fondness for Gilmore Girls and the short live Bunheads, I didn’t actually get around to watching the first three seasons until after the third season dropped, well into the time of COVID. I am sure that this affected how I experienced the show, especially regarding Midge’s career trajectory. Binged without the large gaps of time between seasons, the tension between whether or not things come too easy for Midge and how she can’t get out of her own way can feel more purposeful than I think the show is given credit for. Maybe it’s not about the early days of a mid twentieth century comedy giant. Maybe it’s about why there really weren’t comics like Midge, while giving Sherman-Palladoino and her creative team the opportunity to revel in the aesthetics and references of a period for which she loves the pop culture? The third season’s occasional musical numbers felt like the most pure show of love of that aesthetic. Meanwhile the plot had characters talking about bye eras racism, homophobia, and the lingering effects of the black lists.  It’s not exactly a critical take on the era, but it creates a tension that is interesting, if not exactly pleasant to watch. A YouTuber I respect said it was the best season yet. I don’t agree, partially because it was an awkward watch, and mostly because I hated the plot about Midge’s parents, the Weismans moved in with her ex husband’s parents the Maisels. The objections to the Maisels coming across as bad stereotypes  of Jews, (with the added insult that those characters are played by real Jews while the less grotesque Weismann’s aren’t) is best  supported by this storyline. The season four plot tries to make up for this, acknowledging that the Maisels really are decent, loving people, and not playing up the more annoying/grotesque traits. The season also has more explicit references to how tied up in organized crime everyone is, which, among other things, made the Maisels corruption less objectionable. I was really glad that this season was released after You Must Remember This’s “Sammy and Dino” season. It’s an interesting counterpoint with the Weisman’s slowly extricating themselves from their larger incomes with unpleasant origins (Rose as an oil heiress, Abe’s time with Bell Labs) and regularly having less to fall back on. One of the post I did here that continues to get likes on here is about the grand unifying theme of Sherman-Palladino’s work being “loving one’s creature comforts a lot, but also being weary of their price.” Much of the above illustrates this. 

The first season of the show sometimes presented Midge as someone with a strong sense of her authentic self, with something of an allergy towards phoniness, hence her extreme dislike of Sophie Lennon. As someone who is suspicious of the concept of an “authentic self”and thinks there is a lot of pernicious implications in it, I am the intended audience for all the ways that fails her. The times her extemporaneous stand up fails the hardest. The ways that it acknowledges her often blinkered view. I generally loved that the season ended with Lenny Bruce* reprimanding her about not playing the game. 

I am generally uncomfortable with Bruce as a fictional character on the show. It’s a combination of not feeling like I know his material enough to say if it is a good interpretation of him, and mostly knowing him through his self proclaimed successors like George Carlin and Joan Rivers, who I have mixed feelings about. 

[randommusingsstuff]

Why Ben and Devi are Endgame (Meta)

At the heart of every rom-com, it always comes down to this: what does the protagonist truly want? 

Why Devi and Paxton Don’t Work

In the season 2 finale, Devi triumphantly says “So, I guess I'm Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s girlfriend now”. She got what she thought she wanted at the start of her journey, only it’s not what she wants anymore. 

Although Devi cares for Paxton, she views him as a status symbol. Paxton, for all his growth, still sees himself as cooler than her. And no, he was not just embarrassed because she cheated on him. Before he knew she was cheating, he invited his friends on their first date and refused to call her his girlfriend. In the finale, it once again takes someone else to point out that he shouldn’t blow her off. As Devi and Paxton walk into the dance, he gives his friends a sheepish look while they judge him. Not only does he still have lingering feelings of embarrassment, his friends’ reactions suggest turbulence ahead for their relationship. 

There is also a lack of communication between Paxton and Devi. They have a magical kiss by the window, and makeout sessions afterwards, but they don't actually talk about their relationship in that elapsed time. Devi makes the assumption that they are together and Paxton doesn’t articulate what he wants until it is forced out of him. 

What can we conclude from this? Paxton is a great character, but he is not the one for Devi. They have differing interests and goals, a lack of communication and they do not see each other for their true worth. 

Can the writers surmount all of these issues to give them an endgame? Yes, but it would require fundamentally changing who Devi and Paxton are. 

Why Devi and Ben Work

In episode 1 of season 2, Devi wants to pick Ben but her friends talk her out of it. This is crucial to understanding why they belong together: her gut instinct has already revealed the truth. She had both guys vying for her and she wanted Ben. Just by this one fact alone, we can infer that Devi’s relationship with Ben was more meaningful to her than her pursuit of Paxton in season 1.

When it’s revealed that Devi is two-timing the boys, Paxton is hurt but Ben is devastated. Paxton likes her, but Ben connected with her on a deeper emotional level. Devi follows Paxton out of the party, which is understandable because he is the one walking away. Again, this is cleverly hinting at their communication styles. Paxton wants to avoid the situation and Ben wants to talk about it. From Ben’s perspective, Paxton is the guy she has wanted for so long and he is the second choice. 

Throughout the season, Ben never considers the fact that Devi could want him over Paxton, which is equal parts sad and infuriating. Her therapist asks what she wants more than anything and she says Ben. In context, it’s a comical line, but it’s also Devi revealing her truth. Like she does at the beginning of the season, she makes a choice and it’s Ben. She pursues Ben romantically before Paxton even though Paxton is the one more willing to forgive her. 

It takes Ben longer to forgive her, and yet he is still there for her when she needs help. The little things he does like give her advice about Aneesa and make her feel better about Paxton’s rejection all show Devi’s ability to be vulnerable with Ben. 

As an aside, they had the opportunity to show Devi being vulnerable with Paxon but didn’t take it. In episode 8 of season 2, Paxton sees Devi crying and she reveals that she got into a really bad fight with Eleanor. I was thinking: here it is, here is the moment that Paxton finally helps Devi with her problems... but no. His response is “seems like you’re in a fight with lots of people” and the conversation quickly shifts to her apologizing and helping him yet again. Devi is able to open up to Ben and be supported by him in a way that she can’t with Paxton.

Before I talk about the finale, which is arguably the biggest point in Ben and Devi’s favour, I want to look at the season overall. The entire story arc is Ben and Devi wanting to be together but constantly running into roadblocks in the form of Eleanor/Fabiola, Paxton and Aneesa. It was so alarmingly obvious they belonged together after season 1, that the writers had to find ways to forcibly separate them for the time being. It’s important for Ben and Devi’s relationship that she dates Paxton first. If she had been allowed to go for Ben, they would have had to explore Devi wondering what she missed out on. When Devi and Ben do get their happy ending, it will be because Devi has realized that Paxton is not the person for her. 

In the finale of season 2, we get 3 crucial scenes from Devi and Ben. The first is the bathroom scene which reaffirms Devi’s ability to be vulnerable with Ben and his ability to support her (something she doesn’t have with Paxton). The second is their tension-filled scene at the dance where they longingly stare at each other. This directly contrasts the scene in episode 8, where Devi tries to reframe her mindset and stop seeing Ben as someone she is attracted to. Here, it becomes apparent that she is unable to stop thinking about him in a romantic way despite actively trying. 

The third scene is basically Eleanor saying “you dummy, she wanted to choose you!”. The writers intentionally reference the pros-cons scene from episode 1, re-affirming that Devi wants Ben. The only reason they are not together is because he is not an option. 

Then we get the line “it wasn’t always him”. Many Devi and Paxton fans believe her choice was Ben, but he took too long and now it’s too late. But when has it ever been too late for a main love interest in a rom-com? Mindy Kaling is a rom-com savant, and she knows as well as I do that it’s only ever “too late” for douchey guys who do not acknowledge the self-worth of the heroine. That’s not Ben though, he has always seen Devi for who she is. 

The heartbreak on Ben’s face is infinitely worse than Paxton’s voicemail at the end of season 1, although these scenes are meant to parallel each other. Devi and Paxton are two people who like each other but do not work as a long-term relationship. Ben and Devi are two people who work as a long-term relationship but never acknowledge their feelings for each other at the right time. It’s a tragedy just waiting to be rectified in season 3.

Season 3 Predictions

Now that I've given my analysis on why Devi and Ben are meant to be, here are some predictions I have on the Devi-Ben-Paxton love triangle for season 3.

Fabiola/Eleanor will be the ones to help Devi act on her true feelings for Ben. This one is a no-brainer for me. After sabotaging their chance to be happy in the first place, Fabiola and Eleanor will decide that they want their friend to be happy and set things right. It will also parallel Ben mending their friendship in season 1.

Paxton and Devi will have some sweet moments in the first half of the season, but not without their issues. The lack of communication and their respective status (the way they view each other) will cause them to fight. They will break-up mid-season, but the ending will leave hope for reconciliation.

On that note, I do not think they will kill the love triangle. Even though we will likely see Devi confessing her feelings for Ben and saying that she wanted to choose him all along, this is still a TV show. Contentious love triangles = buzz and money.

Ben and Aneesa will break up by mid-season, but probably earlier. Ben will find it hard to be in a relationship with Aneesa as he grapples with his feelings for Devi.

Ben will be a pillar of support to Devi as she navigates how to be a girlfriend. It’s the classic trope of the guy helping the girl win over the man of her dreams, only to realize that the person she wants is right in front of her.

 Devi and Ben’s friendship and lingering feelings will culminate in an epic finale confession and kiss. Everything that they were unable to say to each other last season will be spoken aloud in season 3.

Ben and Devi are soulmates, drawn to each other and unable to avoid their feelings. I can’t wait for them to take over my life again next year.

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[cocochannel00]

Things that Husband!Harry would definitely do (a thread)

(If you don’t think that Tiny Desk Harry doesn’t give off mad husband!harry vibes - he looks so fluffy- then we can’t be friends)

- He’d sneak into your room the night before the wedding because he missed you even though he knows its bad luck and when you’re mad at him for it he would just smile and place a kiss on your forehead and say “I don’t need any luck, I just need you”

- At your wedding reception he would walk around the room introducing you to everyone as “my wife” as if they didn’t already know who you were 

- During your wedding dinner he’d spend the whole night whispering dirty jokes in your ear trying to make you laugh because he knew that even though it was your wedding day you were still spooked by all of the attention

- On your first year anniversary Harry wanted to surprise you by making you breakfast in bed so he started making pancakes as you slept. You woke up to the sound of your fire alarm going off and Harry blowing the smoke off a pan with a pillow. He’d give you a sheepish smile before mumbling a “maybe we get takeout this year?”

- During the holidays he’d hang mistletoe all around your house and force you to kiss him at every one. “Look love it’s mistletoe, you know what that means” he’d state with a grin. “Harry I just kissed you literally 2 minutes ago in the other room” you’d grumble “Doesn’t matter love, it’s mistletoe and those are the rules. Now come here and kiss your husband”

- Anytime the two of you would get into any sort of major fight where you would say “I hate you” he would shoot back “Well I love you so I guess you’re stuck with me” before going to sulk on the couch

- Whenever you went to his shows or stayed with him on tour he would force you to sit back stage and watch him from the wings so he could watch your reaction to his corny jokes and steal a kiss from you in between sets and on his bathroom breaks

- You agreed to be the designated drive for your group for a night out so Harry gets drunk and becomes extra clingy. He spends the entire night stuck to your side, shoving his face in your neck whispering “I’m going to marry you one day” to which you’d remind him quietly that you were already married. He’d then nod thoughtfully and mumbled “Well then I’m going to marry you again just in case” 

- One night you would be tossing and turning in bed unable to sleep and you would accidentally wake up Harry. You’d apologies because you knew he had to wake up early the next day, but he would just shush you with a quick peck before repositioning you so that you could lay your head on his chest. He’d then softly start humming the tune to one of the new songs he was working on until you’d fall asleep

- Harry would convince you that he was capable of building the Ikea coat rack the two of you had bought for your new home on his own so you’d go into the room next door to take a nap. When you woke up and hour later you found him laying on the floor facetiming Mitch as he tried to figure out why the last piece wasn’t fitting properly only for you to look at it and realize he had built half of it backwards

- Harry would come home late from one his movie shoots and would mumble a quick hello as he walked in through the door. You’d be sitting on the couch watching and episode of Dateline and he would throw himself next to you and lay his head on your lap. You’d start running your hands through his hair as you finished watching the last couple of minutes of the episode before asking Harry how his day was only to realize he had passed out on your lap and was now quietly snoring, a small trail of drool slowly coming out of his mouth

- The next season of your favorite show Handmaid’s Tale had come out so you and Harry started watching it. Every five minutes Harry would ask you a question about the show until mid way through you looked at him and bursted out “Harry if you ask me one more question about the show I’m sending you to our room”. Harry would pout at you and sink into the couch, grumbling about how it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t remember what happened last season before he shoved some popcorn into his mouth

- You’d need to go shopping at Target one day to get some decorations for your niece's birthday party and Harry would decide to come along. “This is our list Harry, we’re not buying anything that’s not on the list” you’d say in the car before getting out, but it would be hopeless because every other aisle Harry would pick something up and say “babe we need to get this” and you would stare at him and say “is it on the list?” and he would grumble a no before sulking back down the aisle to put it back

- On road trips when he let you pick the music he would grumble when you would change the song every 30 seconds. “Love just choose a song, it’s not that difficult, gave you the bloody playlist” he’d state as you would continue to skip through the songs mumbling “I’m tired of that song though, just wanted to hear the chorus”. “Is that what you do with my songs too, just skip all the good parts to get to the bloody chorus?” he’d ask mockingly as you gave him a sheepish smile and mumbled a “sometimes” before finally picking a song

- It would be nearly 4 am and you would still be awake reading your book in bed as Harry slept soundly next to you. You could feel the tears running down your face as the main character just had their heartbroken and a soft sniffle left your nose which caused Harry to startle awake. “Babe what time is it?” he’d mumble as you continue reading, paying him no mind. He’d turn on his phone and groan as he saw the 4 flash at him before turning to see the tears on your face. “Oh no love did she get her heartbroken again? Sure they’ll get back together by the end” he’d state, knowing this was your third rom-com book of the month. You’d mumble a yes as Harry gently dog eared the page before you could protest. He turned off your lamp before tucking you into his side, pulling the covers up to your chin, letting you crying into his chest over your fictional characters

- You and Harry going to your 15th high school reunion together and he gets jealous when he sees you talking to your ex-boyfriend from when you were 16. He’d come up behind you and wrap an arm around your waist while placing a kiss to the side of your temple before reaching out his free hand to introduce himself. “Hello I’m Harry. The Husband” he’d say as he shook your ex’s hand just a little tighter then necessary

- Harry would be overly invested in your work place gossip so when the two of you would have dinner together he would constantly ask questions about what happened with your coworkers that day. “So did Stacy and Justin get caught yet or does Janet still have no idea? Did Kathleen ever get that promotion? If I ever see Garrett I’m going to punch him”

-  He’d force you to wake up early with him so the two of you could workout together in your home gym, but you’d just sit on the floor against the mirror in your workout clothes staring at him. After several attempts at trying to get you to stretch with him he’d give up and say “If you’re not gonna workout at least give me some motivation babe” so he’d do his abs workout in front of you and every time he came up from a sit-up you’d give him a kiss

- Harry would come down with a cold and he would turn into a 5 year old boy and try to milk it for everything it’s worth. “Think the doctor mentioned that cuddles would really help with my headache, love.” “Harry I don’t think that’s what the doctor said” you’d reply as you placed a cold wash cloth on his forehead. “Don’t think I would have forgotten such an important order from her. Now, come here I want to cuddle my wife” 

- He’d come home from the studio fidgeting with his beat-up blue iPod in his hand as you were finishing up a quick dinner for the two of you. He would gently place the iPod on the counter next to you as he poured himself a drink to calm his nerves. You’d stare at it for a minute before asking “Is it finished? Can I listen?”. He’d nod before you gave him a quick kiss and took the device to the living room, leaving him there with his thoughts. An hour later you came back into the kitchen, tears streaming down your face as you ran up to hug him. “Liked it?” he’d ask nervously, this being the first time you’d heard the finished album. “Absolutely loved it” you’d whisper back causing Harry to release a deep breath before taking your face in his hands and kissing you roughly

- He’d start every award acceptance speech with “I’d like to first thank my wife for always supporting me” and then try to catch your eye in the crowd, giving you a soft smile that was only meant for you before going on to thank everyone else

- “We need an intervention Harry. Why are your suits in my side of the closet?” you asked as you came down stairs with one of Harry’s Gucci suits. “I was running out of space and I didn’t think you would notice” he replied with a blush. “Well I did so either you move them or I’m throwing them out” “Love but they’re Gucci you can’t just-” “Ah ah ah I don’t care. My side of the closet” you’d state before dropping the suit in his lap and walking back upstairs

So many others come to mind but these are just a couple that came to mind. I’ll probably do a Dad!Harry version at some point as well 

[shoichee]

teiko manager anon back ~ my juicy part 2 will disappoint bc guess what: we're skipping two years into the future. akashi never found out what happened, and by third year the gom were the epitome of cruelty. so reader picks a fight with them after meiko game, only to collapse out of stress after. they graduate, she follows kuroko to seirin and they train to defeat gom. but why is she so insecure and easily sad when gom is mentioned? they get their answer when they catch her overworking

oh teiko anon, so so bold.... really out here stirring the pot of chaos with this part 2 huh KEK alright folks BUCKLE IN YOUR SEATBELTS IT”S TIME FOR PART 2 and part 1 is right here ! part 3 will be here ! update: part 4 is here !

Akashi x Reader

Part 2

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

remember how I said in part 1 how Akashi would find out sooner or later? this would normally be the case, but in this exception…

you came back to school pretty quickly and restored, only to be in shock when Akashi himself confronts you about where you’ve been… like hello? YOUR CRUSH?? is? talking? to you? about your wellbeing?

here’s the thing, Akashi can easily detect lies through body language because he has an extraordinary sense of kinetic vision and critical thinking, but he’s still a human, not to mention… a middle schooler, and he’s not a true mind reader as some teammates would wholeheartedly believe

still, after some easy sleuthing he easily drew out confessions from some teammates who badmouthed you, although every single one were some type of half-truths and inconsistent testimonies that didn’t really make sense in painting a big picture

instead of incorrectly assuming things, he wanted to hear what’s been going on from your own mouth (keep in mind, this is still Oreshi, the guy who’s still cordial and wants to confirm this with you out of respect)

when he asks you some questions, he doesn’t detect any physical signs of lying from you, which only makes him believe that there wasn’t anything wrong to begin with other than you being under the weather and the other teammates saying utter nonsense either out of fear in his presence or using you as a scapegoat to cover up other delinquencies that he may have yet to discover

“(l/n)-san, I take it that you’ve been resting well? I heard from Kuroko that you were absent due to the seasonal flu.”

“Ah, y-yes! I’ve actually gotten plenty of rest and proper meals, so I’m back on my feet quicker than expected.”

“I actually also wanted to ask you something, if you don’t mind?”

“What is it?”

“Has anything odd happening to you lately? Anyone who has given you trouble or has been uncooperative with you as head manager as of late?”

at the question, you only frown in genuine confusion before you answer no; you genuinely believed that these teammates weren’t in the wrong for “speaking their mind” and if anything, you felt like you were the problem in not being capable enough in managing your own job and your health in the process (despite being knowledgeable in health yourself)

because Akashi saw that you weren’t lying, he dropped it completely out of respect and asked you that if there was anything troubling you that you could reach out to him

oh how he was so, so close to finding out the truth

this wouldn’t be brought up ever again because you and Akashi only continued to grow busier and busier with your own duties; eventually, your fears came true when the Generation of Miracles had in fact “left” you behind when their talents blossomed too fast and left unchecked

honestly, you developed a horrible habit of overworking despite Kuroko’s and Kise’s constant checks on you

what do you know? of course the coaches and faculty members would ignore your opposition against putting the GoMs in every game; after all some of them had been quite dismissive of you already

it’s kind of ironic because if Bokukashi was the one interrogating you back then, he would’ve either easily (correctly) assume based off of the teammates’ testimonies alone, or he’d be a lot more insistent in discerning the truth of the situation and nipping it right in the bud to stop the “nonsense”

but at the same time, Bokukashi has a lot more pressing priorities than a few poor-attitude teammates when he has the entire reputation of Tekio’s legacy on his shoulders; anything pertaining to you never crossed his mind ever since his domineering side emerged

you were really excited for Kuroko since he was gushing about playing against his old friend, since his friend couldn’t make it to finals the first time // needless to say, you were also Kuroko’s mental support when he felt really down at that time

after Kuroko sustained an injury in the game before Meiko, you immediately accompanied him to the infirmary

there, Kuroko requests you to go watch the game and you only reluctantly agree because you wanted to see the game just to relay back to Kuroko just in case if he couldn’t make it, and you were still a manager with a job to fulfill; you’d figure leaving Momoi to watch over was sufficient enough

when you walk out the door though… you bump into Akashi, which is the first time in a while where you two were face-to-face like this; your heart sank when you realize that you had to accept the fact that he’s changed and allowed the distance to grow between you two

but a small part of denial makes you quickly turn and flee out the hallway, but you really begin to evaluate your crush on him as you scurry away; Akashi just stares at you for a moment before he enters into the infirmary where Kuroko is

you’ve distanced yourself from other people (GoMs in particular) in basketball out of denial of the fact you were really left behind (plus, you already dread attending to their games because it’s always a cruel reminder that you’re not working hard enough to achieve results of the same level), which is why reality slapped you in the face after the aftermath of the Meiko game… when you witnessed the full extent of their cruelty on the court

you were really hurt—in fact, you looked more distraught than the Meiko teammates themselves

especially, since the fact that Kise himself, who you thought of him as someone you can trust in, partook in this as well (this is actually your first time in seeing his cruel side in action, since he’s always been very sweet and helpful to you because he respects you)

you first confronted Kise when he was alone for a bit, sounding absolutely heartbroken and on the verge of tears; you shocked him out of his cold side and he immediately becomes a mother hen and asking if you needed water or a seat to calm down before you overexert yourself

after telling him your feelings about the game and your growing distance in the friendship, he sincerely apologizes for making you feel in such an awful way and tells you to let him know next time before a game, so that he wouldn’t suggest this type of entertainment for the game again.

you were in complete disbelief… the fact that your best friend suggested this himself? You dumbly asked for his reason, and he only says that you wouldn’t understand it because no one ever gives the GoM a proper challenge

even though he didn’t intend anything bad when he said this, it just made you feel worse, but you still accepted the apology to get it over with

the other GoMs come and you immediately become angry again and tension just skyrockets; Midorima simply looks away and says nothing, and Murasakibara and Aomine do most of the talking back/arguing… and Akashi only impassively stares at you

later, when Kuroko himself confronts them while everyone was walking in the hallway, you completely lagged behind on the group, tearfully staring at the backs of the GoMs and how you felt really alienated and unmotivated to continue being a manager for a team you don’t even recognize anymore

you grew dizzy again, and you knew your body was dealing with too much at once but you willed your body to at least last the trip

at least you gave a warning when you assumed that you were away from the GoMs at Teiko before you went unconscious; Kise happens to catch you before he brings you to the school infirmary

he does stay with you the entire time, knowing the reason for your collapse was all the extreme emotional and mental toll accumulated in such a short time; he feels absolutely guilty, and when you were about to stir awake, he simply leaves a lighthearted note and a cutely shaped bread before he leaves, knowing that you’d be stressed again if you saw him (around this time is when Kuroko confronts Akashi to quit the team, which is why he was nowhere near you at the time of your collapse/rest)

you felt better that at least Kise still sees you as a close friend when you see what he left behind

you still feel awful, to say the least

it felt wrong of you to quit mid-season, since you felt that you were simply giving up and further perpetuating the fact that you weren’t doing the most that you could

but you didn’t feel like staying for the rest of the season, so you decided to overwork yourself again to get the rest of the paperwork and training plans out of the way for the remainder of the games; you even left detailed instructions to Momoi in how to relieve certain pressure points and muscles for instant relief in case someone hurts themselves

a little timeskip where you decided to tag along Kuroko in attending Seirin High, but you were more reluctant in joining basketball again because you didn’t want to re-experience the stress and burdens in Teiko

well, until you made friends with Riko, and her story in how she was skeptical about basketball at first too inspires you to give it a try again

Kuroko feels really happy that you’re at ease again for the first time, but he definitely notices how you grow gloomy when the Seirin teammates praise the GoMs

you slowly relapse into the habit of overworking to “compensate” for your lack of contributions to Seirin’s team, but this time, every member DROPKICKS you to stop working and relax sometimes (Riko and Hyuuga are the main culprits)

even though you never tell them the reason for your poor habits, the Seirin team members just SENSE and KNOW what to say to make you feel like you’re doing more than enough to support the team in their own unique ways (Mitobe giving really cute shoulder pats and thumbs-ups… Koganei giving you slaps on the back and high-fives… Riko bluntly telling you to relax and giving you encouraging winks… Hyuuga being a roundabout in his praises… Teppei openly praising you… and Kagami telling you that you were doing too much LOL)

Kuroko gives you the SOFTEST SMILES (everyone freaks out every time he does that, it’s hilarious)

however, wounds slowly reopen more once again every time Seirin goes against schools that the respective GoM plays for

after every win Seirin achieves against the GoM’s respective school, each GoM would eventually learn a little tidbits here and there about your tendency to overwork and collapse and possible speculations of why, but you never confirm anything with them

even though you easily forgive Kise after the Seirin vs. Kaijo match (seeing how he interacted with Kagami and Kuroko in the park), for the others… you weren’t so ready to confront…

… particularly with Akashi

[cherrycheolcoups]

Please please would you do a one shot that take place in season 3 episode 20. And the reader is jealous and hurt of hotch being close to Kaye Joyner and getting mad when he takes his side over Morgan's. They could already be in a relationship or not. if you would like. :) thank you

hey, anon! thanks for requesting! i wasn’t sure if you wanted it to be fem!reader, male!reader or gn!reader so i went ahead and chose gn!reader. i kind of got carried away and it became longer than i was intending, but i hope this is to your liking. enjoy! :)

pairing: aaron hotchner x gn!reader

You were at your desk doing some paperwork while trying to ignore Morgan when JJ had came and said there was a case. Getting up, you and the rest of the team made your way to the conference room where the team was usually debriefed of the case. However, as soon as everyone walked in, Hotch had said, “Don’t get comfortable. There’ll be time to debrief on the plane” without even turning around to look at anyone. Clearing your throat a little bit, you look to your boyfriend. “Where are we headed, exactly?” You asked, Hotch still having yet to turn around from the screen where a clip of the murder was playing. “New York,” he had simply answered.

Rossi then spoke up. “5 shootings in 2 weeks. It’s about time we got the call.” You see he finally turns around and looks at Rossi for a moment before looking to Emily when she asks a question. “What do we know?” “All the killings are mid-day. Single gunshot to the head with a .22,” Hotch had answered. “Any witnesses?” JJ pipes up and asks, her hands on her hips. Shaking his head a little bit, Hotch tells her no before looking to Reid when he starts to speak up. “.22-caliber pistol’s only 152 decibels. New York streets and subways are routinely well over 100. It could be people aren’t even registering the gunshot until the unsub’s already leaving the scene.”

You look to your right and listen to Morgan when he says, “They sound like mob hits.” Then, you look to your boyfriend when he responds. “Except none of them have ties to organized crime.” “Do they have any connection to each other?” Emily asked. “None they’ve found,” Aaron told her. “How about communication with the police? Has the unsub tried to make contact?” Morgan asked next. Aaron turns to look at the screen as he answers. “Surveillance cameras have captured video of 3 of the murders. This is the latest,” he says as he clicks a button on the remote and a video comes up on the screen. “That’s the best image they have?” JJ asks Hotch. “They’re all the same. He wears a hood and keeps his head down,” Aaron answers. Emily begins to speak. “This guy’s bold. Crowded areas, broad daylight.” Rossi furrows his brows a bit as he asks, “So they’re completely random?” “It seems that way,” Hotch says. You sigh softly and cross your arms over your chest. This whole thing just gives you a bad feeling.

“Son of Sam all over again,” Reid said. “Wheels up in 30,” you hear your boyfriend say as he then exits the room, probably to go back to his office and grab his go bag. You and the rest of the team all start to pile out of the room as well. Everyone returned to their desks to retrieve their go bags. Derek got hit and said he was going to get Garcia, to which everyone simply shrugged. After you got your go bag, it was time to board the jet. Once on the jet, you chose to sit next to Emily. Besides Aaron, she was the person you were closest with on the team. Though, to everyone else, Emily was the only person you were closest with. None of the others knew about you and Hotch. Well...except maybe for Rossi if the way he looks at you and Aaron sometimes is anything to go by.

You look to the entrance of the plane when you hear Garcia’s voice. “How come I only get to travel with you guys like once every 2 years?” Derek was the next one to talk. “Trust me, Mama. It can get old.” Garcia moved to sit one sit in front of JJ as she turned and set her bag in the chair behind her as she answered. “Oh, right. Like the way that spa treatments in 5-star hotels can get old,” she had said. Emily piped up while looking at Morgan. “Remember the time we got on board and they hadn’t chilled the cristal?” Morgan looked at Prentiss and answered. “Ooh. I almost quit the B.A.U. that day.” This encounter made you laugh some. It was nice when you guys got to joke around for a moment before remembering where you were. You notice Hotch looking at you from the corner of your eye, though you weren’t going to give in and return his stare. Rossi was sitting right in front of Aaron after all. 

Garcia stood and looked at Derek. “You know what? You guys can joke all you want ‘cause I am never leaving this plane.” This made you smile to hear how Garcia just loved the plane. You smiled at Emily when she nudged your shoulder with her own once she sat down. Turning back to look at Hotch, Rossi, and Reid, you turn serious once again. “The victims?” You hear Rossi ask as he sets the photos down on the table. “Each killed in a completely different neighborhood. Hell’s Kitchen, Murray Hill, Lower East Side, Chinatown, East Harlem,” Aaron told Rossi, though looking at all of the team. “It doesn’t make any sense,” Reid says with a shake of his head. “There’s no common victimology, no sexual component, no robbery, no geographical connection. Do the police have any leads?”

“He’s killing roughly every 2 days. The press is having a field day, and it sounds like the mood on the street’s getting pretty edgy,” Aaron spoke as he leaned forward a little bit. “It’s a joint FBI-NYPD taskforce?” Rossi asks. Aaron simply nods his head before answering. “Kate Joyner heads up the New York field office. She’s running point on the case and called me directly,” he says before looking past Rossi and to JJ. “JJ, would you tell them we’re ready to go?” “Right,” JJ says as she pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Kate’s starting to butt heads with the lead detectives and wanted a fresh set of eyes.”

“Joyner, I know her. She’s a Brit, right?” Morgan asked Hotch. “Well, dual citizenship. Her father’s British, her mother’s American. She was a big deal at Scotland Yard before coming to the Bureau.” “I heard she can be a little bit of  a pain in the ass,” Morgan says next. Aaron shakes his head a little bit while looking at Derek. “I didn’t think so.” Emily looked at Hotch. “You know her?” She had asked. At this point, you were a little confused and a little upset, but you couldn’t convey that since you were supposed to be doing a job and the team didn’t know about the two of you, either.

“We liaised when she was still at Scotland Yard,” Hotch told Prentiss. Rossi then asked, “And she’s good?” Hotch looked to Rossi. “I think we’re lucky to have her.” This didn’t sit right with you, but you chose to try and ignore it for now. It was in the past, if anything had happened with him and this Kate Joyner you guys would be seeing. You looked out the window and felt Emily nudge you again. “You okay, (Y/N)?” You nodded your head and gave her a smile. “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.”

A little while later, you guys were now piled into the elevator, going to the floor you needed to go to. Once it dinged and opened, everyone got out, Hotch taking the lead. You were standing with Garcia and JJ, and clenched your jaw when you heard what JJ asked the two of you. “Is it just me or does she look exactly like Haley?” You didn’t want to see it, but there was no denying that Kate Joyner looked like Haley, and that didn’t make you feel any better about hiding your relationship from the team. You watched the two interact. “Kate.” “Aaron. How have you been?” Oh, so on a first name basis? That was not what you had wanted to hear. 

You didn’t want to be jealous. You wanted to give Aaron the benefit of the doubt and come clean to you later if he so chose to do so, but you couldn’t fight the feeling itching under your skin. “Well, thank you. This is my team. Kate Joyner, this is David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, and (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Aaron tells her, pointing everyone out as he said their name. Kate nods. “Thanks for being here. Anything that you need, just tell me. Please don’t stand on protocol,” at this point her voice was just starting to grate your nerves, especially when she was talking to your boyfriend. 

“What can you tell us about the city’s surveillance system?” Garcia had asked. “Um, it’s run by the NYPD. It’s still in the infant stages. It’s been rather controversial. American privacy laws. Um, but they’ve had some success,” Kate had told her. “And I’ll have complete access?” Garcia asked. “They’re already expecting you. Shelley?” During that entire time, you noticed how Aaron hadn’t taken his eyes off Kate. You tried to ignore it, but the thought stayed. Garcia pushed past to go. “I’d like to get a map of the borough. I want to do a comprehensive geographical profile of the area in order to ascertain the unsub’s mental ma before it’s clouded by our own linkage blindness,” you hear Reid say as two detectives walk up and stand next to him. The shorter one remarked, “I see you brought your own computer.” You didn’t like him already. “Detectives Brustin and Cooper. I’ll let you do the introductions,” Kate spoke. 

“You caught the first shooting?” Rossi had asked. “They’ve all been in different precincts. It wasn’t until the third murder that anyone even made the connection,” Detective Cooper had told him. “I guess this is where we play nice and ask you what you need,” Detective Brustin told the team. You really didn’t like this guy and his attitude. Kate let out a little bit of a laugh while she spoke. “I’ll let you all figure out what that is. I just ask that you run everything back through me. It’s been my experience that having one butt on the line is enough,” she says, looking at Detective Brustin who looked away and said, “Yes, Ma’am.” The next thing you saw really made you mad, and at this point there was probably steam coming from your ears. 

You watched as Kate stepped closer to your boyfriend and ask to “have a word with him in private.” “Sure,” was your boyfriend’s response. You crossed your arms over your chest and furrowed your brows. Emily and JJ shared a look with each other. You notice Rossi was looking at you from the corner of your eye. Sometimes, Rossi just knew too much. You watched as Aaron and Kate walked into her office. You didn’t like how close they were standing to each other. It just made your blood boil. “Woah, sweetness. What’s got you all red?” You hear Morgan ask you, to which you sighed and bit your lip, trying to decide if you should just come clean. 

“I...I probably shouldn’t say it here where all these officers could hear, but um...Aaron and I are...seeing each other. And have for some time now,” you told them quietly, making sure no one else was in ear shot. “So that would explain everything, then,” you hear Emily say as she then walked over to you and placed a comforting hand on your arm. “You trust Hotch, right?” She quietly asked you. At this, you gave her a confused look but nodded your head. “Yeah, of course. I trust him with my life.” “Then, okay. There should be nothing to worry about, (Y/N),” she told you. You sighed and nodded your head. “You’re right, Em. I’m sorry,” you apologized while shaking your head. 

A little while later, you were at the next crime scene with Kate, Derek, Detective Cooper, Detective Brustin, and Aaron. During that time, there seemed to be some tension between Kate and Morgan, and you didn’t like how she talked to him. You watch and listen as Morgan looks to Aaron. “You mind telling me why I’m catching attitude from her?” Aaron hesitates for a moment before he answers. “FBI brass has made it clear to her that if she doesn’t bring this case home, she’s gonna be reassigned, and you are at the top of the list to replace her,” your boyfriend explains to Derek.

Derek looks at him. “You’re kidding me.” “Why should you be surprised? You’re good at your job. People notice that,” Aaron told him. Derek turns away for a moment before turning back to Hotch. “What happened to the bureau patting itself on the back for stealing her away from Scotland Yard?” Aaron shrugs a little while shaking his head. “I don’t know. Politics here are different. And you can see she doesn’t pull punches,” Aaron said as he then walked away from the two of you. You and Morgan share a look before sighing and walking away as well. You really didn’t like how your boyfriend was sticking up for Kate the way he was.

After you guys find out there’s more than one unsub, you look at Kate when she asked if there was enough for a working profile. “Broad strokes,” was Rossi’s reply. “Dave, you and Reid talk to the agents here. Morgan, Prentiss and (Y/L/N), brief the police when each shift comes on duty tomorrow,” at Aaron’s demand, you nod your head. Morgan looks at Hotch. “I think we should get out on the streets,” was Derek’s reply. That was when Kate decided to speak to him. “I brought you here to create a profile,” she told him. “Which we can give in the morning, and then they can share it with the afternoon shift,” Derek told her. You really didn’t like how Kate Joyner was talking to Derek. 

“We’ve allocated every extra man we have. This is New York City. It’s not like a few more people is going to blanket the city,” came Kate’s reply. “I understand it’s a long shot, but these guys, they hit at mid-day. We could target Ingress and Egress to particular neighborhoods. Position us near express stops- 14th, 42nd, 59th-” Morgan was saying, but got interrupted by Aaron. “Morgan, it’s not your call,” your boyfriend told Derek with a shake of his head. You rolled your eyes and walked off, not liking how he just took Kate’s side and not Derek’s. 

After being done at the office, you guys went to the hotel. You laughed some at a joke Emily made as you guys walked in, Aaron holding the door for everyone. You guys made your way to the lobby before stopping when Reid motioned for JJ to look behind her. You, Aaron, Emily, and JJ turn around and spot Will. This made you smile. You were always rooting for them. Walking over, you guys look between Will and JJ. Will looks at Aaron and returns his handshake. “Detective,” Aaron had said to him. 

“I’m sorry for showing up like this. I know you’re working. But, um...I can’t stand you being on this case and me not being here, not with what’s going on,” Will told JJ. This made you a little confused. ‘With what’s going on?’ You asked yourself. Aaron tilted his head a little as he looked at Will. “Is there a problem?” He asked. JJ slightly scoffs before turning around to look at the rest of you. “I’m pregnant,” she says. This brought a smile to your face as you pulled her in for a hug, missing the look in Aaron’s eyes as he watches. “We’re so happy for you guys,” you told her, to which she had hugged back and thanked you.

Then you pulled away, still smiling after hearing the news. “I’ve asked JJ to marry me,” you hear Will say. “Will,” JJ had turned around and scolded. “We’re still working out some kinks,” he told the group. Aaron nodded. “We’ll, uh, give you both some privacy.” And with that, your boyfriend had started to walk away until JJ stopped him. “Hotch.” He turned around and looked at her. “JJ, you could have told me,” he said to her, a small smile on his face. “I know,” was JJ’s response. 

You, Aaron, Spencer, and Emily leave the two of them alone and retire to your rooms. You were debating on stopping at Aaron’s, but decided against it. Instead, you went towards Emily’s room, softly rapping your knuckles against the door. A few seconds later, Prentiss opens the door and ushers you into the room. “Hey, (Y/N). Not talking to Hotch now?” She teased. You smiled some and shrugged. “Eh. I was going to...but I’m not sure what to say without getting upset over the whole Kate thing. I don’t want to dump that on him right now. Not while we’re working a case.”

“That’s understandable. But you do know you have to talk about it with him eventually, right?” Emily pressed, looking at you. You sighed and nodded your head. “Yeah...I know.” A little while later, after having a few too many drinks with Emily, your addled brain supplied you with going to Aaron’s room. You hesitated at the door for a moment before knocking. Better now than never, you figured. Almost immediately, the door had opened, as if he were impatiently awaiting your presence. 

“(Y/N)...are you alright?” Your boyfriend asked you, concern and worry etched into his features as he gently pulled you in, shutting the door behind the both of you. “Yeah. I just spent a little time with Emily, not to worry over,” you assured him, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Nothing to worry over? You’re drunk,” Aaron had told her. “Yeah, well...it’s what I needed after today,” you told him. With this information, he studies you for a moment. “What are you talking about?” He asked, confused about what happened to cause you to drink this much. 

“You and Kate. I don’t like it. Plus...the team ended up finding out about us,” you said, yawning some as you kicked off your shoes and laid down on the bed. “That’s what this is about? Kate? You’re not jealous are you?” Aaron asked. At your silence, he scoffed, shaking his head. “Unbelievable. You have no reason to be jealous. Nothing’s ever happened between Kate and I and nothing ever will,” he told you. For now, in your current state, it out you at ease.

The next day, you guys were listening to Garcia as she explained that the unsub was getting away. You were beyond frustrated, and so was Morgan. “We could’ve had that guy,” Derek said. Kate spoke next. “Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved on to someone isolated.” At this point, Morgan started raising his voice a little. “Maybe, but it was worth taking a shot.” Kate and Derek looked at each other. “We had every available man on the street,” Kate told him.

Morgan got a little closer to the desk. “And I suggested to you that you use this team,” he had told her. Aaron looked at Derek. “Second-guessing doesn’t do us any good right now,” Aaron told him. “Hotch, how am I supposed to look these cops in the eye and tell them that we’re actually here to help them?” Morgan asked him. “We’re here to present a profile. That’s what we need to do.” Aaron was all too calm about this, you thought. 

“I said to put us at express stops, 14th, 42nd, 59th, and that’s exactly where they hit,” Morgan pushed. “It’s not your place to have this discussion,” Aaron told him. At this, you pursed your lips and watched them. “My place?” Derek asked. “You need to back off,” came your boyfriend’s reply. “We got 7 bodies, man.”

“Which is exactly why we need to stay focused,” Aaron told him sternly. “Focused.” Derek got closer to Hotch. “From where I’m standing, all your focus is on her,” you heard him say, which didn’t surprise you that he would bring this up. “Talk a walk. Now,” Aaron told him. You and Rossi looked at each other. You really didn’t like the tension in the air and quickly walked away, ignoring your boyfriend calling your name. You couldn’t deal with him right now.

You only made it to the door when Aaron had caught your arm, stopping you from going any further. “Let go, Aaron,” you said through gritted teeth, trying your best to not show any other emotion. Really, all you wanted to do was go home and scream and cry into a pillow or something. “(Y/N). Talk to me. You never storm off like that.” “Yeah? Well, my boyfriend also never adamantly takes someone’s side like that,” you spat, shrugging his hand off and leaving the office, getting into one of the SUVs and driving back to the hotel. 

Sometime later, Aaron found himself knocking on the door of your hotel room. “(Y/N). Please open the door. Let’s talk about this. Please...” you hear your boyfriend ask. You sigh and let him in, going back and sitting on the bed while having your arms crossed over your chest. “I know you’re upset with me right now. I know that this might take some time before it passes. I just want you to know that I do love you. And that I truly am sorry for you feeling this way. But please understand we’re not here to over step. Simply to give a profile. This is the NYPD’s investigation. And Kate happens to be the lead. Trust me when I say, nothing is going on between Kate and I. I only want you. Okay?” Aaron spoke softly, his hands encasing yours in his own, his eyes peering into yours the way he always does. 

After thinking about it for a moment, you sigh and close your eyes, the tears finally escaping your eyes as you hug Aaron tightly, burying your face in his neck. Aaron closed his eyes and engulfed you in a hug, pressing a kiss to your temple. “It’s all going to be okay, baby. I’m here,” he whispered into your ear. You eventually nodded and calmed down some, pulling away from him as you wiped your eyes. “I-I’m sorry...” you told him. Aaron gently cupped your face in his big hands, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Truly,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you took it a step further and pressed your lips to his, just wanting to be surrounded with nothing but him again.

okay so this was way, way longer than i was intending for it to be but i wanted to get some of the dialogue plots from the episode between morgan, kate, and hotch to give that drama that was there between them. but i do hope that you enjoyed and that it was something similar at least to what you were picturing! and thanks again for requesting! :)

[kickingitwithkirk]

I’m Not Clean

Paring: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 1948

Warnings: A/B/O, angst, verbal fighting, cursing, cheating, oral sex, p/v sex

A/N: for @jawritter​​​​ #jensmakemecrychallange

A/N II: Set between mid season six-starts after Death puts Sam’s soul back-ending before the last Trial in season eight. Told from Sam’s POV alternating between present and past memories/ events. Some altering of events to fit story line. Prompt in Bold.

*no beta, all mistakes are mine.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~ 

I chant this mantra over and over to myself. 

I was drunk before leaving, roaring out of the garage in Baby, leaving the stench of burning rubber and exhaust in my wake.

We’ve had some hell raising fights over the years. This one tonight the vilest we have ever had, saying the most unforgiving things to each other because you broke our agreement.

What we said...our knowledge of each other’s weakest points to abuse, verbally cutting into each other in the deepest manner, inflicting as much carnage as possible. 

The only other person in the universe who knows how to hit me that hard is my brother. Man, how we’ve done that dance too, over and over yet somehow always finding our way back to each other.

My brother tried to intervene, to stop us from saying the things we can never take back or forgive. It felt as if he was taking your side, I went after him as well. 

I feel the need to punish myself for all the pain I have caused. I am always creating pain, torching those I love. 

I found her at the dive bar, a few days out from her heat.

She is my punishment.

We go to a nearby dump. I close the door and she's already on her knees, my jeans zippers down, pulling me out and starts licking up the underside of my cock, making gagging noises trying to deepthroat me. My head thunks against the door and all I can think is that she’s not you.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

I remember like it was yesterday. We ended up at Bobby’s after cleaning out a vamp nest two states over. 

Grabbing our duffels we didn’t rock, paper, scissors over who got the spare bed, my brother just face plants on the couch, unconscious before I’m even at the foot of the staircase.

I wearily make my way upstairs not bothering to shower in spite of how bad I smell, too exhausted to care. I toed off my boots and socks, throwing my blood encrusted shirt and jeans in the corner, collapsing face down on the bed, landing on top of something under the covers.

Why am I staring at the ceiling?

My brother barrel's in, woken by the sound of my body hitting the floor, stopping in the doorway with his gun drawn looking for what attacked me...this confused look crossed his face as the scent of fear flooded the room.

I sit up gazing over the bed as you huddle in the corner looking scared to death. My brother puts his gun back in his waistband, hands up with his on display to show he’s no threat. 

I slowly got to my feet and came around the bed towards you. You shrink even further in the corner, pulling into yourself as tight as you can, hiding behind your arms and drawn up knees.

I stop and sit down trying to not appear threatening and speak softly to you.

“I’m sorry I scared you, we’re friends of Bobby’s. He didn’t tell us you were here. We’re not going to hurt you.”

You're so still, all I can see is your beautiful eyes moving between us, the only movement you are able to do. 

My brother gives a small smile before going back downstairs to the couch, giving you space to calm down. I stay on the floor, my back propped against the bed talking. 

It’s a one sided conversation but that’s ok. 

Bobby’s back just after daybreak found us still in the same positions on the floor asleep. 

“Balls!” 

You spring from the corner and bury yourself in his arms. Seeing that Bobby has you I grab my stuff and head for a shower. My brothers just came out from taking his. I strip and climb in turning on the water. 

Fucker used all the hot water.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

I don’t want to be touching her now, or her touching me, my self loathing rising like the bile in my throat but my body has a mind of its own tonight as my brain turns off given into my Alpha.

I grab her hair, yanking her off my dick with an audible pop, saliva and precome running down her chin, adding another stain to the discolored rug. I pull her up, tossing her onto the bed before dragging her back to the edge, the barely there skirt rides up out of the way as I lave my tongue up her uncovered thighs, swirling it through her dripping folds. Roughly inserting several fingers into her tight cunt I start sucking on her clit as she grabs my hair soaking my face with her slick as she cums.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

The smell of coffee calls to my still fuzzy brain as I staggered downstairs to the kitchen. My brother and Bobby are at the table talking. As I pour a cup you walk in from the porch. 

I turn towards you, finally able to scent you without the terror that clouded the room last night. 

Are you a classic beauty? No, but you beguile me. 

I’m enamored with your beautiful eyes, recalling the way they never left mine last night. You’re taller than I expected, curvaceous, not delicate like others I have been with.

As you hold my gaze I remember the verbal platitudes, reading the drivel, even watched some of the bathetic romance movies but they could never fully articulate this feeling. It de-queues through me, permeates my soul.

My brother relentlessly teases that I am having a chick-flick moment.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

She wobbly moves onto her hands and knees, I climb on the bed behind her and ram my engorged cock into her sodden cunt as far as she can take me mindlessly pounding. I wrap my hand around her throat, squeezing enough to stop the incoherent noises escaping from her mouth that grate against me. 

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

We ended up staying at Bobby’s for a couple of weeks, it was quiet and I wasn’t in any hurry to leave you.

Bobby explained to us how you ended up here over a bottle of whiskey late one night.

Jo found you bruised and bleeding, huddled in the door jam out back of Harvelle's Roadhouse. You had been injured by your pack for defying them. Ellen of course took you in. 

The pack came looking for you, trailing your scent to the bar. Ellen’s shotgun and don’t fuck with me attitude convinced them you had left but she knew it wasn’t safe for you to stay, your pack would be watching. 

Smuggling you out of the bar proved harder than anyone thought. There were multiple hand offs among hunters traveling along the way, finally delivering you to Bobby Singer's home days later.

For the first time in your life, you were safe.

We took our time getting to know each other, I had to work harder than I ever have with anyone before to gain your trust.

After my brother and I caught a case, I would call you every day and matter the time, you answered. We would talk for hours, share what we had been doing that day, finding our mutual interests in a variety of subjects coming to light. 

My brother would yell for me to get off the damn phone, I was keeping him awake, even though I’m sitting outside the motel room.

Then things got out of control.

Castiel broke the wall and died. Leviathans were anyone and everywhere, finally imitating us.

We became America’s Most Wanted. Bobby sent us to a man named Frank who owned him a big favor and made us disappear. 

We found Bobby’s burned down house and almost got killed ourselves.

Then Bobby showed up at the hospital to break us out, informing me you were safe, hidden at a long forgotten hunters cabin.

We managed to stay in contact, I needed that, to know you were staying safe before being able to sleep at night.

The first fight happened in the hospital, blaming us for losing Bobby. 

Then Dick and Purgatory.

And a lost year.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

I pulled out of her relieved my knot had finally deflated enough to release me. Collapsing onto my back I fling my arm over my eyes disgusted with myself as she’s curling into my side literally purring.

I’ve repeatedly used her...in this bed of sin I created...I’ve lost control...not the first time.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

It’s never quiet for long in our lives. Castiel mysteriously returns and Kevin Tran sort of deciphers the demon tablet, how through three trials we can close the Gates of Hell and seal away so much evil if we survive the First Trial- kill a Hell hound. 

While on another case we met our grandfather Henry Winchester of The Men of Letters and inherit the key to the Bunker. We have a home of sorts and I finally have a safe place for you, for us to be together. A few months after moving in, before the Second Trial-rescuing a innocent from Hell, and your heat, I made a decision that saddened both of us but with our lives was necessary and allowed me finally to make you mine forever.

Right before finding out about the Third Trial I found the test hidden in a drawer and my diminishing mind bounces between being petrified and elated. I sat there downing a bottle of whiskey from my brother's copious stash waiting for your return and upon seeing you all the alcohol in my degenerating body gave me permission to release my pent up fury and paranoia, ending in that cheap room with her.

~~I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean I’m Not Clean~~

I made my way back to the Bunker to find my brother sitting in the War Room waiting on me. He wrinkled his nose at the stench of her all over me but said nothing as I handed over the car keys pocketing them. His eyes shifted to a chair and I apprehensively sat down awaiting the bombardment he would unleash. He remains quiet as he turns the open laptop towards me. I blink a few times to focus on the screen, reading the online article from a national news agency about the contraceptive failure. I’m in disbelief when he slides your phone in front of me and plays the voicemail from your doctor.

I get up swaying from a nonexistent breeze slowly walking the halls till I’m standing outside our bedroom door. I can scent your sadness from outside the closed door causing me to freeze holding the knob, unable to summon up the courage to turn it when it disappears from my hand finding you instead. You move allowing me to enter, shutting the door as I sit on the edge of the bed before crossing over, moving to stand directly in front of me. I don’t know how you can do that with the smell of every wrong I’ve done clinging to my skin polluting us. 

I feel your hands cradling my face softly telling me Grown men don't cry as your fingers track the tears coursing uninhibitedly down my cheeks.

I completely collapse wrapping my arms around your waist resting my forehead against the special place where our pup is, undeserving of your love that’s purifying me in ways the trials never will.

tagging: SPN @donnaintx​​​​

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid​​​​

[armageddon-generation]

Articulating Why His Dark Materials is Badly Written

A long essay-thing with lots of specific examples and explanations of why I feel this way. Hopefully I’ve kept fanboy bitching to a minimum.

This isn’t an attack on fans of the show, nor a personal attack on Jack Thorne. I’m not looking to ruin anyone’s enjoyment of the show, I just needed to properly articulate, with examples, why I struggle with it. I read and love the books and that colours my view, but I believe that HDM isn’t just a clumsy, at-best-functional, sometimes incompetent adaptation, it’s a bad TV show separate from its source material. The show is the blandest, least interesting and least engaging version of itself it could be.

His Dark Materials has gorgeous production design and phenomenal visual effects. It's well-acted. The score is great. But my god is it badly written. Jack Thorne writing the entire first season damned the show. There was no-one to balance out his flaws and biases. Thorne is checking off a list of plot-points, so concerned with manoeuvring the audience through the story he forgets to invest us in it. The scripts are mechanical, empty, flat.

Watching HDM feels like an impassioned fan earnestly lecturing you on why the books are so good- (Look! It's got other worlds and religious allegory and this character Lyra is really, really important I swear. Isn't Mrs Coulter crazy? The Gyptians are my favourites.) rather than someone telling the story naturally.

My problems fall into 5 main categories:

Exposition- An unwillingness to meaningfully expand the source material for a visual medium means Thorne tells and doesn't show crucial plot-points. He then repeats the same thing multiple times because he doesn't trust his audience

Pacing- By stretching out the books and not trusting his audience Thorne dedicates entire scenes to one piece of information and repeats himself constantly (see: the Witches' repetition of the prophecy in S2).

Narrative priorities- Thorne prioritises human drama over fantasy. This makes sense budgetarily, but leads to barely-present Daemons, the Gyptians taking up too much screentime, rushed/badly written Witches (superpowers, exposition) and Bears (armourless bear fight), and a Lyra more focused on familial angst than the joy of discovery

Tension and Mystery- because HDM is in such a hurry to set up its endgame it gives you the answers to S1's biggest mysteries immediately- other worlds, Lyra's parents, what happens to the kids etc. This makes the show less engaging and feel like it's playing catch-up to the audience, not the other way around.

Tonal Inconsistency- HDM tries to be a slow-paced, grounded, adult drama, but its blunt, simplistic dialogue and storytelling methods treat the audience like children that need to be lectured.

MYSTERY, SUSPENSE AND INTRIGUE

The show undercuts all the books’ biggest mysteries. Mrs Coulter is set up as a villain before we meet her, other worlds are revealed in 1x2, Lyra's parents by 1x3, what the Magesterium do to kids is spelled out long before Lyra finds Billy (1x2). I understand not wanting to lose new viewers, but neutering every mystery kills momentum and makes the show much less engaging.

This extends to worldbuilding. The text before 1x1 explains both Daemons and Lyra's destiny before we meet her. Instead of encouraging us to engage with the world and ask questions, we're given all the answers up front and told to sit back and let ourselves be spoon-fed. The viewer is never an active participant, never encouraged to theorise or wonder

 Intrigue motivated you to engage with Pullman's philosophical themes and concepts. Without it, HDM feels like a lecture, a theme park ride and not a journey.

The only one of S1's mysteries left undiminished is 'what is Dust?', which won't be properly answered until S3, and that answer is super conceptual and therefore hard to make dramatically satisfying

TONAL INCONSISTENCY

HDM billed itself as a HBO-level drama, and was advertised as a GoT inheritor. It takes itself very seriously- the few attempts at humour are stilted and out of place

The production design is deliberately subdued, most notably choosing a mid-twentieth century aesthetic for Lyra’s world over the late-Victorian of the books or steampunk of the movie. The colour grading would be appropriate for a serious adult drama. 

Reviewers have said this stops the show feeling as fantastical as it should. It also makes Lyra’s world less distinct from our own. 

Most importantly, minimising the wondrous fantasy of S1 neuters its contrast with the escalating thematic darkness of the finale (from 1x5 onwards), and the impact of Roger’s death. Pullman's books are an adult story told through the eyes of a child. Lyra’s innocence and naivety in the first book is the most important journey of the trilogy. Instead, the show starts serious and thematically heavy (we’re told Lyra has world-saving importance before we even meet her) and stays that way.

Contrasting the serious tone, grounded design and poe-faced characters, the dialogue is written to cater to children. It’s horrendously blunt and pulls you out of scenes. Subtext is obliterated at every opportunity. Even in the most recent episode, 2x7, Pan asks Lyra ‘do you think you’re changing because of Will?’

I cannot understate how on the nose this line is, and how much it undercuts the themes of the final book. Instead of even a meaningful shot of Lyra looking at Will, the show treats the audience like complete idiots. 

So, HDM looks and advertises itself like an adult drama and is desperate to be taken seriously by wearing its big themes on its sleeve from the start instead of letting them evolve naturally out of subtext like the books, and dedicating lots of scenes to Mrs Coulter's self-abuse 

At the same time its dialogue and character writing is comparable to the Star Wars prequels, more childish than media aimed at a similar audience - Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Avatar the Last Airbender etc

DAEMONS

The show gives itself a safety net by explaining Daemons in an opening text-crawl, and so spends less time showing the mechanics of the Daemon-human bond. On the HDM subreddit, I’ve seen multiple people get to 1x5 or 6, and then come to reddit asking basic questions like ‘why do only some people have Daemons?’ or ‘Why are Daemons so important?’.

It’s not that the show didn’t answer these questions; it was in the opening text-crawl. It’s just the show thinks telling you is enough and never shows evidence to back that up. Watching a TV show you remember what you’re shown much easier than what you’re told 

The emotional core of Northern Lights is the relationship between Lyra and Pan. The emotional core of HDM S1 is the relationship between Lyra and Mrs Coulter. This wouldn't be bad- it's a fascinating dynamic Ruth plays wonderfully- if it didn't override the Daemons

Daemons are only onscreen when they serve a narrative purpose. Thorne justifies this because the books only describe Daemons when they tell us about their human. On the page your brain fills the Daemons in. This doesn't work on-screen; you cannot suspend your disbelief when their absence is staring you in the face

Thorne clarified the number of Daemons as not just budgetary, but a conscious creative choice to avoid onscreen clutter. This improved in S2 after vocal criticism.

Mrs Coulter/the Golden Monkey and Lee/Hester have well-drawn relationships in S1, but Pan and Lyra hug more in the 2-hour Golden Compass movie than they do in the 8-hour S1 of HDM. There's barely any physical contact with Daemons at all.

They even cut Pan and Lyra's hug after escaping the Cut in Bolvangar. In the book they can't let go of each other. The show skips it completely because Thorne wants to focus on Mrs Coulter and Lyra.

They cut Pan and Lyra testing how far apart they can be. They cut Lyra freeing the Cut Daemons in Bolvangar with the help of Kaisa. We spent extra time with both Roger and Billy Costa, but didn't develop their bonds with their Daemons- the perfect way to make the Cut more impactful

I don't need every single book scene in the show, but notice that all these cut scenes reinforced how important Daemons are. For how plodding the show is. you'd think they could spare time for these moments instead of inventing new conversations that tell us the information they show

Daemons are treated as separate beings and thus come across more like talking pets than part of a character

The show sets the rules of Daemons up poorly. In 1x2, Lyra is terrified by the Monkey being so far from Coulter, but the viewer has nothing to compare it to. We’re retroactively told in that this is unnatural when the show has yet to establish what ‘natural’ is.

The guillotine blueprint in 1x2 (‘Is that a human and his Daemon, Pan? It looks like it.’ / ‘A blade. To cut what?’) is idiotic. It deflates S1’s main mystery and makes the characters look stupid for not figuring out what they aren’t allowed to until they did in the source material, it also interferes with how the audience sees Daemons. In the book, Cutting isn’t revealed until two-thirds of the way in (1x5). By then we’ve spent a lot of time with Daemons, they’ve become a background part of the world, their ‘rules’ have been established, and we’re endeared to them.

By showing the Guillotine and putting Daemons under threat in the second episode, the show never lets us grow attached. This, combined with their selective presence in scenes, draws attention to Daemons as a plot gimmick and not a natural extension of characters. Like Lyra, the show tells us why Daemons are important before we understand them.

Billy Costa's fate falls flat. It's missing the dried fish/ fake Daemon Tony Markos clings to in the book. Thorne said this 'didn't work' on the day, but it worked in the film. Everyone yelling about Billy not having a Daemon is laughable when most of the background extras in the same scene don't have Daemons themselves

WITCHES

The Witches are the most common complaint about the show. Thorne changed Serafina Pekkala in clever, logical ways (her short hair, wrist-knives and cloud pine in the skin)

The problem is how Serafina is written. The Witches are purely exposition machines. We get no impression of their culture, their deep connection to nature, their understanding of the world. We are told it. It is never shown, never incorporated into the dramatic action of the show.

Thorne emphasises Serafina's warrior side, most obviously changing Kaisa from a goose into a gyrfalcon (apparently a goose didn't work on-screen)

Serafina single-handedly slaughtering the Tartars is bad in a few ways. It paints her as bloodthirsty and ruthless. Overpowering the Witches weakens the logic of the world (If they can do that, why do they let the Magesterium bomb them unchallenged in 2x2?). It strips the Witches of their subtlety and ambiguity for the sake of cinematic action.

A side-effect of Serafina not being with her clan at Bolvangar is limiting our exposure to the Witches. Serafina is the only one invested in the main plot, we only hear about them from what she tells us. This poor set-up weakens the Witch subplot in S2

Lyra doesn’t speak to Serafina until 2x6. She laid eyes on her once in S1.

The dialogue in the S2’s Witch subplot is comparable to the Courasant section of The Phantom Menace. 

Two named characters, neither with any depth (Serafina and Coram's dead son developed him far more than her). The costumes look ostentatious and hokey- the opposite of what the Witches should be. They do nothing but repeat the same exposition at each other, even in 2x7.

We feel nothing when the Witches are bombed because the show never invests us in what is being destroyed- with the amount of time wasted on long establishing shots, there’s not one when Lee Scoresby is talking to the Council.

BEARS

Like the Witches; Thorne misunderstands and rushes the fantasy elements of the story. The 2007 movie executed both Iofur's character and the Bear Fight much better than the show- bloodless jaw-swipe and all

Iofur's court was not the parody of human court in the books. He didn't have his fake-Daemon (hi, Billy)

An armourless bear fight is like not including Pan in the cutting scene. After equating Iorek's armour to a Daemon (Lee does this- we don’t even learn how important it is from Iorek himself, and the comparison meant less because of how badly the show set up Daemons) the show then cuts the plotpoint that makes the armour plot-relevant. This diminishes all of Bear society. Like Daemons, we're told Iorek's armour is important but it's never shown to be more than a cool accessory

GYPTIANS

Gyptians suffer from Hermoine syndrome. Harry Potter screenwriter Steve Kloves' favourite character was Hermione, and so Film!Hermoine lost most of Book!Hermoine's flaws and gained several of Book!Ron's best moments. The Gyptians are Jack Thorne's favourite group in HDM and so they got the extra screentime and development that the more complicated groups/concepts like Witches, Bears, and Daemons (which, unlike the Gyptians, carry over to other seasons amd are more important to the overall story) needed

At the same time, he changes them from a private people into an Isle of Misfit Toys. TV!Ma Costa promises they'll ‘make a Gyptian woman out of Lyra yet’, but in the book Ma specifically calls Lyra out for pretending to be Gyptian, and reminds her she never can be.

This small moment indicates how, while trying to make the show more grounded and 'adult', Thorne simultaneously made it more saccharine and sentimental. He neuters the tragedy of the Cut kids when Ma Costa says they’ll become Gyptians. Pullman's books feel like an adult story told through the eyes of a child. The TV show feels like a child's story masquerading as a serious drama.

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA

Let me preface this by saying I genuinely really enjoy the performances in the show. It was shot in the foot by The Golden Compass' perfect casting.

The most contentious/'miscast' actor among readers is LMM. Thorne ditched the books' wise Texan for a budget Han Solo. LMM isn't a great dramatic actor (even in Hamilton he was the weak link performance-wise) but he makes up for it in marketability- lots of people tried the show because of him

Readers dislike that LMM's Lee is a thief and a scoundrel, when book-Lee is so moral he and Hester argue about stealing. Personally, I like the change in concept. Book!Lee's parental love for Lyra just appears. It's sweet, but not tied to a character arc. Done right, Lyra out-hustling Lee at his own game and giving him a noble cause to fight for (thus inspiring the moral compass of the books) is a more compelling arc.

DAFNE KEENE AND LYRA

I thought Dafne would be perfect casting. Her feral energy in Logan seemed a match made in heaven. Then Jack Thorne gave her little to do with it.

Compare how The Golden Compass introduced Lyra, playing Kids and Gobblers with a group of Gyptian kids, including Billy Costa. Lyra and Roger are chased to Jordan by the Gyptians and she makes up a lie about a curse to scare the Gyptians away.

In one scene the movie set up: 1) the Gobblers (the first we hear of them in the show is in retrospect, Roger worrying AFTER Billy is taken) 2) Lyra’s pre-existing relationship with the Gyptians (not in the show), 3) Friendship with Billy Costa (not in the book or show) 4) Lyra’s ability to befriend and lead groups of people, especially kids, and 5) Lyra’s ability to lie impressively

By comparison, it takes until midway through 1x2 for TV!Lyra to tell her first lie, and even then it’s a paper-thin attempt. 

The show made Roger Lyra’s only friend. This artificially heightens the impact of Roger's death, but strips Lyra of her leadership qualities and ability to befriend anyone. 

Harry Potter fans talk about how Book!Harry is funnier and smarter than Film!Harry. They cut his best lines ('There's no need to call me sir, Professor') and made him blander and more passive. The same happened to Lyra.

Most importantly, Lyra is not allowed to lie for fun. She can't do anything 'naughty' without being scolded. This colours the few times Lyra does lie (e.g. to Mrs Coulter in 1x2) negatively and thus makes Lyra out to be more of a brat than a hero.

This is a problem with telling Northern Lights from an outside, 'adult' perspective- to most adults Lyra is a brat. Because we’re introduced to her from inside her head, we think she's great. It's only when we meet her through Will's eyes in The Subtle Knife and she's filthy, rude and half-starved that we realise Lyra bluffs her way through life and is actually pretty non-functional

Thorne prioritises grounded human drama over fantasy, and so his Lyra has her love of bears and witches swapped for familial angst. (and, in S2. angst over Roger). By exposing Mrs Coulter as her mother early, Thorne distracts TV!Lyra from Book!Lyra’s love of the North. The contrast between wonder and reality made NL's ending a definitive threshold between innocence and knowledge. Thorne showed his hand too early.

Similarly, TV!Lyra doesn’t have anywhere near as strong an admiration for Lord Asriel. She calls him out in 1x8 (‘call yourself a Father’), which Book!Lyra never would because she’s proud to be his child. From her perspective, at this point Asriel is the good parent.

TV!Lyra’s critique of Asriel feels like Thorne using her as a mouthpiece to voice his own, adult perspective on the situation. Because Lyra is already disappointed in Asriel, his betrayal in the finale isn’t as effective. Pullman saves the ‘you’re a terrible Father’ call-out for the 3rd book for a reason; Lyra’s naive hero-worship of Asriel in Northern Lights makes the fall from Innocence into Knowledge that Roger’s death represents more effective.  

So, on TV Lyra is tamer, angstier, more introverted, less intelligent, less fun and more serious. We're just constantly told she's important, even before we meet her.

MRS COULTER (AND LORD ASRIEL)

Mrs Coulter is the main character of the show. Not Lyra. Mrs Coulter was cast first, and Lyra was cast based on a chemistry test with Ruth Wilson. Coulter’s character is given lots of extra development, where the show actively strips Lyra of her layers.

To be clear, I have no problem with developing Mrs Coulter. She is a great character Ruth Wilson plays phenomenally. I do have a problem with the show fixating on her at the expense of other characters.

Lyra's feral-ness is given to her parents. Wilson and McAvoy are more passionate than in the books. This is fun to watch, but strips them of subtlety- you never get Book!Coulter's hypnotic allure from Wilson, she's openly nasty, even to random strangers (in 2x3 her dismissal of the woman at the hotel desk felt like a Disney villain). 

Compare how The Golden Compass (2007) introduced Mrs Coulter through Lyra’s eyes, with light, twinkling music and a sparkling dress. By contrast, before the show introduces Coulter it tells us she’s associated with the evil Magisterium plotting Asriel’s death- “Not a word to any of our mutual friends. Including her.” Then she’s introduced striding down a corridor to imposing ‘Bad Guy’ strings.

Making Mrs Coulter’s villainy so obvious so early makes Lyra look dumber for falling for it. It also wastes an interesting phase of her character arc. Coulter is rushed into being a ’conflicted evil mother’ in 2 episodes, and stays in that phase for the rest of the show so far. Character progression is minimised because she circles the same place.

It makes her one-note. It's a good note (so much of the positive online chatter is saphiccs worshiping Ruth Wilson) but the show also worships her to the point of hindrance- e.g. take a shot every time Coulter walks slow-motion down a corridor in 2x2

The problem isn’t the performances, but how prematurely they give the game away. Just like the mysteries around Bolvangar and Lyra’s parentage. Neither Coulter or Asriel have much chance to use their 'public' faces. 

This is part of a bigger pacing problem- instead of rolling plot points out gradually, Thorne will stick the solution in front of you early and then stall for time until it becomes relevant. Instead of building tension this builds frustration and makes the show feel like it's catching up to the audience. This also makes the characters less engaging. You've already shown Mrs Coulter is evil/Boreal is in our world/Asriel wants Roger. Why are you taking so long getting to the point?

PACING AND EDITING

This show takes forever to make its point badly.

Scenes in HDM tend to operate on one level- either 'Character Building,' 'Exposition,' or 'Plot Progression'.

E.g. Mary's introduction in 2x2. Book!Mary only listens to Lyra because she’s sleep and caffeine-deprived and desperate because her funding is being cut. But the show stripped that subtext out and created an extra scene of a colleague talking to Mary about funding. They removed emotional subtext to focus on exposition, and so the scene felt empty and flat.

In later episodes characters Mary’s sister and colleagues do treat her like a sleep-deprived wreck. But, just like Lyra’s lying, the show doesn’t establish these characteristics in her debut episode. It waits until later to retroactively tell us they were there. Mary’s colleague saying ‘What we’re dealing with here is the fact that you haven’t slept in weeks’ is as flimsy as Pan joking not lying to Mary will be hard for Lyra.

Rarely does a scene work on multiple levels, and if it does it's clunky- see the exposition dump about Daemon Separation in the middle of 2x2's Witch Trial.

He also splits plot progression into tiny doses, which destroys pacing. It's more satisfying to focus on one subplot advancing multiple stages than all of them shuffling forward half a step each episode.

Subplots would be more effective if all the scenes played in sequence. As it is, plotlines can’t build momentum and literal minutes are wasted using the same establishing shots every time we switch location.

The best-structured episodes of S1 are 1x4, 1x6, and 1x8. This is because they have the fewest subplots (incidentally these episodes have least Boreal in them) and so the main plot isn’t diluted by constantly cutting away to Mrs Coulter sniffing Lyra’s coat or Will watching a man in a car through his window, before cutting back again. 

The best-written episode so far is 2x5. The Scholar. Tellingly, it’s the only episode Thorne doesn’t have even a co-writing credit on. 2x5 is well-paced, its dialogue is more naturalistic, it’s more focused, it even has time for moments of whimsy (Monkey with a seatbelt, Mrs Coulter with jeans, Lyra and Will whispering) that don’t detract from the story.

Structurally, 2x5  works because A) it benches Lee’s plotline. B) The Witches and Magisterium are relegated to a scene each. And C) the Coulter/Boreal and Lyra/Will subplots move towards the same goal. Not only that, but when we check in on Mary’s subplot it’s through Mrs Coulter’s eyes and directly dovetails into the  main action of the episode.

2x5 has a lovely sense of narrative cohesion because it has the confidence to sit with one set of characters for longer than two scenes at a time.

HDM also does this thing where it will have a scene with plot A where characters do or talk about something, cut away to plot B for a scene, then cut back to plot A where the characters talk about what happened in their last scene and painstakingly explain how they feel about it and why

Example: Pan talking to Will in 2x7 while Lyra pretends to be asleep. This scene is from the 3rd book, and is left to breathe for many chapters before Lyra brings it up. In the show after the Will/Pan scene they cut away to another scene, then cut back and Lyra instantly talks about it.

There’s the same problem in 2x5: After escaping Mrs Coulter, Lyra spells out how she feels about acting like her

The show never leaves room for implication, never lets us draw our own conclusions before explaining what it meant and how the characters feel about it immediately afterwards. The audience are made passive in their engagement with the characters as well as the world    

LORD BOREAL, JOHN PARRY AND DIMINISHING RETURNS

At first, Boreal’s subplot in S1 felt bold and inspired. The twist of his identity in The Subtle Knife would've been hard to pull off onscreen anyway. As a kid I struggled to get past Will's opening chapter of TSK and I have friends who were the same. Introducing Will in S1 and developing him alongside Lyra was a great idea.

I loved developing Elaine Parry and Boreal into present, active characters. But the subplot was introduced too early and moved too slowly, bogging down the season.

In 1x2 Boreal crosses. In 1x3 we learn who he's looking for. In 1x5 we meet Will. In 1x7 the burglary. 1 episode worth of plot is chopped up and fed to us piecemeal across many. Boreal literally stalls for two episodes before the burglary- there are random 30 second shots of him sitting in a car watching John Parry on YouTube (videos we’d already seen) completely isolated from any other scenes in the episode

By the time we get to S2 we've had 2 seasons of extended material building up Boreal, so when he just dies like in the books it's anticlimactic. The show frontloads his subplot with meaning without expanding on its payoff, so the whole thing fizzles out. 

Giving Boreal, the secondary villain in literally every episode, the same death as a background character in about 5 scenes in the novels feels cheap. It doesn’t help that, after 2x5 built the tension between Coulter and Boreal so well, as soon as Thorne is passed the baton in 2x6 he does little to maintain that momentum. Again, because the subplot is crosscut with everything else the characters hang in limbo until Coulter decides to kill him.

I’ve been watching non-book readers react to the show, and several were underwhelmed by Boreal’s quick, unceremonious end. 

Similarly, the show builds up John Parry from 1x3 instead of just the second book. Book!John’s death is an anticlimax but feels narratively justified. In the show, we’ve spent so much extra time talking about him and then being with him (without developing his character beyond what’s in the novels- Pullman even outlined John’s backstory in The Subtle Knife’s appendix. How hard would it be to add a flashback or two?) that when John does nothing in the show and then dies (he doesn’t even heal Will’s fingers like in the book- only tell him to find Asriel, which the angels Baruch and Balthamos do anyway) it doesn’t feel like a clever, tragic subversion of our expectations, it feels like a waste that actively cheapens the audience’s investment.

TL;DR giving supporting characters way more screentime than they need only, to give their deaths the same weight the books did after far less build up makes huge chunks of the show feel less important than they were presented to be. 

FRUSTRATINGLY LIMITED EXPANSION AND NOVELLISTIC STORYTELLING

Thorne is unwilling to meaningfully develop or expand characters and subplots to fit a visual medium. He introduces a plot-point, invents unnecessary padding around it, circles it for an hour, then moves on.

Pullman’s books are driven by internal monologue and big, complex theological concepts like Daemons and Dust. Instead of finding engaging, dynamic ways to dramatise these concepts through the actions of characters or additions to the plot, Thorne turns Pullman’s internal monologue into dialogue and has the characters explain them to the audience

The novels’ perspective on its characters is narrow, first because Northern Lights is told only from Lyra’s POV, and second because Pullman’s writing is plot-driven, not character-driven. Characters are vessels for the plot and themes he wants to explore.

This is a fine way of writing novels. When adapting the books into a longform drama, Thorne decentralised Lyra’s perspective from the start, and HDM S1 uses the same multi-perspective structure that The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass do, following not only Lyra but the Gyptians, Mrs Coulter, Boreal, Will and Elaine etc

However, these other perspectives are limited. We never get any impression of backstory or motivation beyond the present moment. Many times I’ve seen non-book readers confused or frustrated by vague or non-existent character motivations.

For example, S1 spends a lot of time focused on Ma Costa’s grief over Billy’s disappearance, but we never see why she’s sad, because we never saw her interact with Billy.

Compare this to another show about a frantic mother and older brother looking for a missing boy. Stranger Things uses only two flashbacks to show us Will Byers’ relationships with his family: 1) When Joyce Byers looks in his Fort she remembers visiting Will there. 2) The Clash playing on the radio reminds Jonathan Byers of introducing Will to the song.

In His Dark Materials we never see the Costas as a happy family- 1x1’s Gyptian ceremony focuses on Tony and Daemon-exposition. Billy never speaks to his mum or brother in the show 

Instead we have Ma Costa’s empty grief. The audience has to do the work (the bad kind) imagining what she’s lost. Instead of seeing Billy, it’s just repeated again and again that they will get the children back.

If we’re being derivative, HDM had the chance to segway into a Billy flashback when John Faa brings one of his belongings back from a Gobbler safehouse in 1x2. This is a perfect The Clash/Fort Byers-type trigger. It doesn’t have to be long- the Clash flashback lasted 1:27, the Fort Byers one 55 seconds. Just do something.

1x3 beats into us that Mrs Coulter is nuts without explaining why. Lots of build-up for a single plot-point. Then we're told Mrs Coulter's origin, not shown. This is a TV show. Swap Boreal's scenes for flashbacks of Coulter and Asriel's affair. Then, when Ma Costa tells Lyra the truth, show the fight between Edward Coulter and Asriel.

To be clear, Thorne's additions aren’t fundamentally bad. For example, Will boxing sets up his struggle with violence. But it's wasted. The burglary/murder in 1x7 fell flat because of bad editing, but the show never uses its visual medium to show Will's 'violent side'- no change in camera angle, focus, or sound design, nothing. It’s just a thing that’s there, unsupported by the visual language of the show

The Magisterium scenes in 2x2 were interesting. We just didn't need 5 of them; their point could be made far more succinctly.

In 2x6 there is a minute-long scene of Mary reading the I Ching. Later, there is another scene of Angelica watching Mary sitting somewhere different, doing the SAME THING, and she sees an Angel. Why split these up? It’s not like either the I Ching or the Angels are being introduced here. Give the scene multiple layers.

Thorne either takes good character moments from the books (Lyra/Will in 2x1) or uses heavy-handed exposition that reiterates the same point multiple times. This hobbles the Witches (their dialogue in 2x1, 2 and 3 literally rephrases the same sentiment about protecting Lyra without doing anything). Even character development- see Lee monologuing his and Mrs Coulter's childhood trauma in specific detail in 2x3

This is another example of Thorne adding something, but instead of integrating it into the dramatic action and showing us, it’s just talked about. What’s the point of adding big plot points if you don’t dramatise them in your dramatic, visual medium? In 2x8, Lee offhandedly mentions playing Alamo Gulch as a kid.

I’m literally screaming, Jack, why the flying fuck wasn’t there a flashback of young Lee and Hester playing Alamo Gulch and being stopped by his abusive dad? It’s not like you care about pacing with the amount of dead air in these episodes, even when S2’s run 10 minutes shorter than S1’s. Lee was even asleep at the beginning of 2x3, Jack! He could’ve woken from a nightmare about his childhood! It’s a little lazy, but better than nothing.

There’s a similar missed opportunity making Dr Lanselius a Witchling. If this idea had been introduced with the character in 1x4, it would’ve opened up so many storytelling possibilities. Linking to Fader Coram’s own dead witchling son. It could’ve given us that much-needed perspective on Witch culture. Imagine Lanselius’ bittersweet meeting with his ageless mother, who gave him up when he reached manhood. Then, when the Magisterium bombs the Witches in 2x2, Lanselius’ mother dies so it means something.

Instead it’s only used to facilitate an awkward exposition dump in the middle of a trial.

The point of this fanfic-y ramble is to illustrate my frustration with the additions; If Thorne had committed and meaningfully expanded and interwoven them with the source material, they could’ve strengthened its weakest aspect (the characters). But instead he stays committed to novelistic storytelling techniques of monologue and two people standing in a room talking at each other

(Seriously, count the number of scenes that are just two people standing in a room or corridor talking to each other. No interesting staging, the characters aren’t doing anything else while talking. They. Just. Stand.) 

SEASON 2 IMPROVEMENTS

S2 improved some things- Lyra's characterisation was more book-accurate, her dynamic with Will was wonderful. Citigazze looked incredible. LMM won lots of book fans over as Lee. Mary was brilliantly cast. Now there are less Daemons, they're better characterised- Pan gets way more to do now and Hester had some lovely moments. 

I genuinely believe 2x1, 2x3, 2x4 and 2x5 are the best HDM has been. 

But new problems arose. The Subtle Knife lost the central, easy to understand drive of Northern Lights (finding the missing kids) for lots of smaller quests. As a result, everyone spends the first two episodes of S2 waiting for the plot to arrive. The big inciting incident of Lyra’s plotline is the theft of the alethiometer, which doesn’t happen until 2x3. Similarly, Lee doesn’t search for John until 2x3. Mrs Coulter doesn’t go looking for Lyra until 2x3. 

On top of missing a unifying dramatic drive, the characters now being split across 3 worlds, instead of the 1+a bit of ours in S1, means the pacing/crosscutting problems (long establishing shots, repetition of information, undercutting momentum) are even worse. The narrative feels scattered and incohesive.   

These flaws are inherent to the source  material and are not the show’s fault, but neither does it do much to counterbalance or address them, and the flaws of the show combine with the difficulties of TSK as source material and make each other worse.

A lot of this has been entitled fanboy bitching, but you can't deny the show is in a bad place ratings-wise. It’s gone from the most watched new British show in 5 years to the S2 premiere having a smaller audience than the lowest-rated episode of Doctor Who Series 12. For comparison, DW's current cast and showrunner are the most unpopular since the 80s, some are actively boycotting it, it took a year-long break between series 11 and 12, had its second-worst average ratings since 2005, and costs a fifth of what HDM does to make. And it's still being watched by more people.

Critical consensus fluctuates wildly. Most laymen call the show slow and boring. The show is simultaneously too niche and self-absorbed to attract a wide audience and gets just enough wrong to aggravate lots of fans.

I’m honestly unsure if S3 will get the same budget. I want it to, if only because of my investment in the books. Considering S2 started filming immediately after S1 aired, I think they've had a lot more time to process and apply critique for S3. On the plus side, there's so much plot in The Amber Spyglass it would be hard to have the same pacing problems. But also so many new concepts that I dread the exposition dumps.

[dreamylyfe-x]

11x04: NIMBY Reactions

Oh my God, that’s the good stuff right there. I’ve been hanging on for the middle of the season, where I have felt pretty certain the tone -- with Gallavich particularly -- might shift and I was NOT disappointed. 

So first thing’s first: though Mickey had barely anything to do with the A Plot (Milkoviches Next Door) I still thought this episode was the best  Mickey-being-Mickey-as-I-know-and-love-him  episode we’ve had yet. (Though fair warning, I thought 11x03 had some quality classic Mickey in it -- just mostly the scenes without Ian.) 

Before we get started on Mickey, though, this is the second episode in a row where I’ve enjoyed the Frank plot? Granted, it was LARGELY Liam that I enjoyed, but I was still watching the Frank plot and that is a major shift from season 10, where I barely bothered. 

But yeah. Ok. Mickey. This episode was such a great Mickey episode from start to finish. One of the things I love about Shameless is the whole thing where normal for kids living in desperate conditions, while very different from most people’s normal, is still normal for THEM. And I really enjoyed Mickey watching the Milkoviches move in while giving the Gallaghers key intel on exactly what they were seeing. And kinda understanding how messed up some of it was in real time. That’s a real experience people have -- being mid-story and suddenly thinking “Yeah. This is way more fucked up than I realized.”  

I also enjoyed the several moments in the episode where Mickey overtly acknowledged that his family is insane, he just doesn’t like the Gallaghers looking down on him. Which: valid. 

Speaking of -- finally we find out the state of the Mickey-Terry relationship. Which is: there isn’t one. Another thing I loved is that Mickey shares the desire to see his family move on, but he’s not going to bother engaging with it. He’s going to work on getting him and Ian out of there, and pay hardly any attention to his family. Love that for him. 

I also love love LOVE that, now that he has a bead on something to do for money that doesn’t fill him with dread, Mickey is taking the same attitude he had when Ian was working and he wasn’t -- which is that he’s going to take care of things. As someone who was baffled at Mickey’s inaction and willingness to let Ian do all the work in the first few episodes, I really loved this. Because it’s consistent and it indicates that his world view just kinda like... Someone has to be taking care of the money part, and that might shift back and forth between him and Ian, but the result of the effort is going to be shared between them. I understand where Ian was coming from -- especially when Mickey kept returning to criminal enterprise -- but it’s nice to see a little more of how Mickey views things. 

Also, I know this is very well observed, so I’m retreading well-worn ground, but the scene with the cereal. Gah. I love it. Ian regressing -- I know they gave us the shot of the bottle of Jamison, but I felt like they were getting their point across with the cereal and the cartoons. And Ian not answering or responding to Mickey right away was extremely evocative of Ian’s history of depressive episodes. I loved how forthright Ian was about how awful the prospect of finding another job was, because it’s covertly agreeing with everything Mickey was saying in the first few episodes, too. 

There are so many little things I like about this scene. Mickey coming down the front stairs instead of the back, like he intuitively knows where Ian is at. Ian watching Harley Quinn cartoons, as both an in-joke AND as a believable cartoon choice. Mickey picking up the bottle, checking it’s weight and then just... moving it a little to the side. Mickey putting himself between Ian the TV. Mickey already having a plan for Ian. Just so much good stuff in there. 

Also, let’s talk about Ian for a minute here. One reason I hesitate to call anything OOC with these two is that the book generally isn’t closed. I really didn’t get the “I’m on my honeymoon” stuff, but after this episode, it folds in a lot better with what is going on with these two. Another thing that folds in better is Ian’s mounting frustration -- which is VERY Ian. He starts out with this forced buoyancy -- we’re going to get out own place, you are going to get a legal job so you can stay out of prison, I am going to make this warehouse gig work, and even though I’m frustrated and losing patience, I’m still trying to talk things out, and touching your hand and trying to ground everything in the fact that we’re together and we love each other -- and then we see that get chipped away at. Ian’s paycheque reveals that he’s being scammed out of a living wage. Mickey takes the road less travelled and immediately brings in more money that he’s every going to be able to get through the jobs he can currently get as a parolee. Mickey isn’t gracious about this, and the tension ramps up and that four episodes later he’s just walking around with a well-established and throughly justified black cloud over his head. 

The Milkovich’s really arrive like they’ve bought a White Trash in a Bag collection from Target. They seem to even have brought mattresses expressly for the front yard. 

OMG, Mickey got a scene with Sandy (and Debbie). But honestly, my favourite beat is the look Franny gives Mickey after he says kids are idiots. I also love how Sandy joins Mickey in just not seeing a point in waging battle against their family.

Lip, this is a little thing, but you aren’t supposed to eat breakfast, brunch, lunch and dinner. Brunch ideally REDUCES the number of meals you eat. But the key brunch move is to order something you can’t/wouldn’t make at home. Do not pay $14 for eggs and toast. 

So. Ok. I have seen some people very annoyed that Ian is so focused on Mickey not going back to prison, but I can’t see what is wrong with this. He just flat out isn't wrong to worry about it. It would be devastating if that happened. Mickey and Ian are extremely fortunate that he’s out at all. It’s a truly bizarre turn of events and I do not fault Ian for having a lot of concern about anything happening to jeopardize Mickey’s freedom. I also think this is confirmation that Ian just flat out doesn’t want to be without Mickey. I think he’s depressed -- and therefore extremely pessimistic -- in this episode, but there is far more indication that Ian wants Mickey around than that he doesn’t, so of course he’d be extremely focused on this concern. Also Cam puts some tremor onto “get sent back to prison” that really grabs my heart and squeezes. 

Cam in the towel is just good news. Mickey’s adorable with the gun. This scene is cute. 

This is the episode where I gave up on side-eying the Gemma-is-Superior running joke and just accepted it as kinda funny. Something about third-party confirmation. I dunno.

I enjoy the fact that Debbie apparently doesn’t know Sandy lives with them? Also, that feels like an Ian move. Gets boyfriend, moves in with boyfriend. 

The fact that Mickey is low-key playing Ian to get him to join him in this MUCH more promising venture is my absolute favourite. Bless the director for that foreground Mickey shot. Bless Noel for that nuanced facial expression. Bless everyone involved in that moment. It is one of my favourite things ever. 

I love that Ian’s whole reason for these outfits is so that Mickey will LOOK dangerous and not have to defend himself, thus staying out of trouble. That’s deeply, deeply sweet. 

Another sign that something is even more wrong with Frank than usual when he fully forgets the entire trip to visit the Brotherhood. 

I didn’t love V vs. Debbie but I really did enjoy Kev aligns with Frank, and also has a scene with Mickey. And that they weren’t silo’ed off on their own. 

So the eventual reveal we get that the old lady loves having rough sex with Terry was not a surprise to me because a) Shameless, but b) because of Christian’s face. Christian’s facial expressions are among my favourite on the show right now. 

I love this gif set by @sickness-health-all-that-shit.  What can I say except “look! Ian is smiling!” 

Mickey should be a better liar, but you know. He isn’t. 

I do like that, in this moment, the things they both bring to the enterprise come together to create a new possibility. This is pretty much exactly what I HOPED was going to happen and I love to see it. 

I think I’m going to ignore the Tami storyline because it was gross (not bad, but ... gross.) Also @fiona-fififi already wrote something that is much more comprehensive... I get the frustration, but just no part of me thinks Ian would allow himself to go where Tami did in examining what happened to her. Not at this point in his life. Which is sad, but very much in line with how Ian handles himself. 

Um. Yeah. Carl. Glad you’re not fully participating, Carl. But this is untenable. 

Overall, I am all the way in on this storyline for Ian and Mickey -- and pretty into the idea of V getting involved with politics. I think we’re getting all the seeds of where this show is going to leave the characters. And I haven’t loved every moment, but I do feel like the overall show is working for me better than last season. 

That might be faint praise. But I really liked this one. Best yet. 

[jq37]

The Case File – Mice and Murder Ep 4

The Case of the Puzzling Painting 

Welcome back to Loam Hall where our Sylvan Sleuths are still hanging out in a room with a dead body. When we left off, Gangie had been snooping into Sly’s conversation about Fletcher Cottonbottom and now, he uses his Criminal Contacts feature to see what he knows, if anything, about a recent return. With a 26 he knows that his family used to be well respected but after the whole business with the insurance fraud and Sly busting it, the family kind of fell out of favor. So Fletcher was in a weird position where he was rich and a part of high society and had enough dirt on everyone to get them to do things for him but couldn’t actually show his face because he was disgraced. Gangie also knows that it’s rumored that Fletcher’s weapons running scheme was actually a front for moving art. 

With regard to more recent news about Fletcher, Gangie was never in direct contact with him but he knows that 3-4 years ago, his most trusted henchmen started going missing--people attributed it to some kind of “Cottonbottom Curse” and that rumor is part of why Gangie decided to get out of dodge in the first place.

Buck does an insight check on the rest of the PCs and, with an 18, doesn’t clock anyone there as especially suspicious (Lars isn’t there but like..it’s Lars). Ian tries to give Squire Badger his last rites but ends up pulling the knife out, putting it back in, flapping blood everywhere with his feathers, and sending Constance into a badger rage. Buck tries to help smooth over things, claiming his big screw up was a new style of avant garde church ritual (Ian appreciates the support--who ministers to the ministers, you know?) and in the process sees his knife for the first time. Which, you know. He obviously suspected before but never nice to see.

While this is going on, Daisy sneaks off to try and check on the secret door and everyone sees her do it/eventually follows her but we’ll get back to her once we check in with Lars who is en route to the kitchen. Once in the hallway, they do a perception check and, on a 15, there are 3 doors and Ally gets to pick one. There’s a kitchen where Gilfoyle is talking to a group, a door where someone is crying behind it, and a door where they can hear nothing. Ally, the galaxy brained genius, goes for the quiet door. That’s the money door and with their ears pressed against the door, they can hear Edwina and Carolyn--the two mice maids that overheard Buck’s conversation with the Badger--whispering about what happened there and wondering if they should pay back the money they were paid to by Buck.

Gilfoyle walks out and sees Lars snooping but on a Nat 20 deception check, Lars is able to play dumb and skate by suspiciousness. Also, with a dirty 20 perception check, when the mice maids leave, Lars sees that they’ve been stealing silverware. 

OK, back to Daisy who is getting to the séance room as quickly as possible. She has two rounds before people catch up to her so she’s trying to make the most of it by Investigating the painting she noticed was bolted to the wall earlier. She first rolls an 11, getting no new information. This is so frustrating to her. She’s good at this dammit! But being around Sly is rattling her terribly. She has feelings for him--strong ones. But she isn’t herself around him. How can she be with him if he makes her so unlike herself? Her introspection is enough to earn her advantage from Brennan on her second roll and boom! 25! Daisy is back. 

With that roll, she notices that the eyes in the painting actually move and can be used as a spying post on the other side. Then Sly runs in and they start bickering immediately. Daisy throws a crystal ball at him and absolutely brains him on a nat 20--the first combat roll of this very RP oriented season. 

Buck and Ian are still in the room with the body for the moment and Buck asks Ian about the first few names on the list Gangie gave him. There were a bunch of members of the Burrows family--a working class family that all died of a consumptive illness. And then the Diggories who died in a carriage accident. The connecting thread? All badgers. Buck then zooms away to follow Daisy, Ian follows, and Lars, seeing them as they leave the kitchens, also follows. 

So all the PCs are in the séance room now and they kinda have the sense of, “OK y’all, we’re all screwed but we’re al screwed together so we better throw our lot in with each other and start working together so we don’t die because no one else here is on our side.” Buck proposes an alliance and they all agree to share info. Sly asks about Buck’s knife and Buck admits it’s his but says he didn’t do it. Sly believes him--not because he wouldn’t do it but because he has no motive (that he knows about anyway. Buck doesn’t spill about the contract). 

Gangie shares the list of names from before with the whole group.It’s like half badgers and then some other critters (full list here). Sly doesn’t share any of his secret info Grant got texted. Daisy and Buck don’t share about the key (though Sly you’ll remember sat her steal it). Buck does however mention his suspicion about the fact that Gilfoyle wasn’t around when Squire Badger gave his speech and Daisy does the same about the fact that he said he would call the cops but the cops haven’t arrived yet. Lar’s remembers that Jez’s husband is gunning for at seat in parliament and wonders if this is related somehow. Daisy mentions the eyes in the painting and everyone is like way to bury the lede dude! Especially when they’ve just all spilled their secrets. Everyone checks on the painting and with a 25 Gangie can intuit that this is probably used to spy on rich people when they’re mid-séance and vulnerable and spilling secrets (which he doesn’t share but Daisy comes to a similar conclusion on her own). Buck on a 23 can smell ledgers (idk how but the DM said so and I’m reporting it) and guesses that that’s where the Squire’s real office is which means that’s probably where the contract he needs to find and destroy is too. 

 The group makes a list of their loose ends which are what’s on the other side of the painting, what’s up with Fletcher, and the smell of ozone. Plus Ian remembers that the date on the bust in the study is wrong and shares with the class. 

Lars tries to get to the other side of the room by ripping the painting off the hinges with a very impressive 26 but there is fully a wall behind it and the noise brings Gilfoyle, Harding, and the Badger kids running. Lars notes that in the stone behind the painting it says “⅓”  and then hurriedly puts the painting back. Daisy thinks that might refer to a secret third floor or basement accessible by the elevator (but my first thought was that there were 2 other spying paintings in the house somewhere).

Everyone in the room hears the Gilfoyle and co. coming and try to act natural. There is a group stealth check that they all tank so heavily that all the suspicious staff and kids need to do to suss them out is roll above a 5.

AND THEY ROLL A TWO. 

With that, Lucretia appears, totally buys that they’re doing very important spiritual work in there, and in fact guards the door for them. They use the privacy bought by their very vigilant sentry to plan their next steps. Sly, Daisy, and Ian will check out the study while they rest of them check out the elevator. As they exit, Lucretia asks if they got the answers they needed out of the spirits.

Oh yes, says Daisy, echoing Lucretia’s nonsense prediction from last episode. Either something good or bad might happen. Either way, I’m excited! 

Case Notes

How baller of a player move is it to say a line so poignant that the DM is forced to let you roll with advantage? I have been on the other side of that as the DM and it’s so great. MAD respect to Rekha for that. AND THEN THE DICE COOPERATED. You simply love to see it. 

The other best Rekha line is Daisy to Sly upon being called out about stealing the key in his normal, coy, quippy way: You saw me bitch.

Shout out to Grant also for being constantly on as Sly. The guy is on point always. Impeccable.

I am SO SO SO happy Daisy and Sly are on the same mission team. If I was friends with either of them I’d be like, “This is a toxic relationship, they make you too crazy.” But as an outside viewer I want them to be within crystal ball throwing distance always.  

The question I’m sure we’re all asking: Is Brennan enough of a minx to invoke the butler did it trope? I know everyone at the table is thinking it even if none of them have said it outright. I figured the reason the cops haven’t showed up yet was the storm but who knows?

Two pieces of housekeeping, only Buck and Gangie know what the room behind the painting is with their high rolls and, after the bit of passing it back and forth with Buck, Daisy has the key. 

I really can’t do the bit about Gangie’s mom justice. I wish there was a comedy Emmy for actual play DnD shows so D20 could get the accolades it deserves just for that bit. 

Brennan indicated that the conversation between the mice maids was the most interesting info (Gilfoyle convo to staff was too public to be juicy/they could get the info from one of the many gathered staff people and crying is info on its own--though I am curious about who the crying person was) but I’m wondering what he meant by that. Because the fact that Buck paid them might be interesting if Buck did it. But we know he didn’t. Is it the fact that they were in the room at all? Again, info that the party knows if not Lars specifically.  The fact that they were stealing silverware? What’s Brennan’s game here?

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Della Arc Reviews: The Spear of Selene or THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES, GOD OF HOMEROTIC SUBTEXT OUT OF MYTH!

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to my coverage of the Della arc! It’s our last 2017 episode before the Finale, and it’s a huge one as we delve into a fan faviorite that introduces a pair of fan faviorites, a drum of tzatkiki sauce worth of gay,  an asshole so odious getting sent to the bowls of hades and laughed at for all enternity after being cast out by eveyrone he knows really was getting off light, and at last some plot progression on this arc. At the time it aired mind you at this point Dellas been a beloved cast member for three years, and we’ve known what happened to her for longer than that. 

At the time though.. it’d been 8 MONTHS since the Great Dime Chase. Let that sink in. The Della reveal was the biggest hook of an already exceptional pilot: It not only promised to flesh out a character who’d had all of one story in the comics at this point in present day, but solve the mystery of why she was gone. Not only that but Scrooge and Donald’s feud clearly stemmed from this exact moment. And the first full episode in the arc confirmed it: Della had taken whatever “The Spear of Selene” was and apologized to Scrooge for it. So why had she taken it, why did Donald blame scrooge, why did Scrooge not blame himself, at least outwardly, where was she, what was the spear of selene...

As I pointed out last time airing order didn’t help and due to airing the arc episodes really close together, gave the impression the arc would not only move fast but take up more of the season than it did. In practice both arcs take up a fourth of the season not including the finale, which would take both up to about a third. The expectation on how much of the season would be taken up by the arc.. was on Disney for airing things badly. I will give credit where it’s do as they moved this episode up in the order to try and make up for it (and give themselves a huge mid season opener).. but then for some reason shoved the last episode before last crash, ie. the only one they coudln’t move, way back to right before that episode. “ Here’s an actual photo of the person who made this decision

As I said they did get better next season with only a few swaps and only for good reason. So props. 

HOWEVER.... this episode still has some  flaws with pacing and revealing info, with or without Disney drunk driving the schedule. The wait between episodes in this plot is an episode LONGER in production order... and dosen’t move the plot forward by much. I will get to that when the time comes.. and that DESPITE this treatment of the fans.. this episode is still one of the seasons best. How are both things true? Join me under the cut to find out. 

Thunderstormy to be precise and the Sunchaser is natrually encountering loads of turbulence with Launchpad barely holding int here while Donald’s buffeted around the back. Why Donald’s with them... 

But it’’s one of his only five starring episodes in the season, out of 9 appearances total the rest of which are cameos.  Yeah now seems as good as time as any to talk about Season 1′s Donald Duck problem. 

See Donald was promoted as a major part of the series, rightly so since he was reduced to a guest star for the 87 series due to a combination of Disney not wanting to overexpose the characters, people possibly not being able to understand his voice and thus making plots hard to understand, and Tony Anselmo being new to the roll at the time. So the reboot went all out promoting the fact Donald would be in it, front and center and gave him TWO character shorts to the rest of the casts one. Disney really went out of their way to show he’d be in there so as a certified Donald Fanatic, I was sure he’d actually be in the show a lot and on the adventures a lot. The crew were not blameless as both promotional arts featured him. Launchpad and Beakly conversely were asbent, so the impression given by all of this was that Donald would be central to the series and in a lot of episodes, given equal focus to scrooge and the kids. 

This.. didn’t happen as you all know. Instead as stated he’s up front and center for 5 episodes, and makes cameos in others, but generally is hardly around. Now there is KINDA an excuse to this as he doesn’t want to adventure, be in the mansion or any of that.. but it’s a REALLY weak one. He still at least could’ve made more cameos, the fact he was working on the boat all that time isn’t made clear till last crash, and his two spotlight episodes both have him dragged along on the adventure anyway, so it’s not like his not wanting to be there meant he woudln’t be forced to join in anyway. There were ways to include him, still have him in a supporting role instead of leaving him back at the mansion.. and even the second episode proved there was still comedy to be mliked from that.. and pathos don’t forget the pathos. So yeah this was easily the biggest mistake of the season and one season 2 largely corrected: He got four dedicated plots, and was around a decent amount in the first half of the season and while he DID get shot up to the moon... it was for valid reasons. They wanted to focus on Della and the kids, give her room to breathe as a brand new major addition to the show, and thus him being around and the elephant in the room of his and scrooge’s feud that was never dealt with on screen, would’ve distracted from that. And even with that they still gave him a focus episode that somehow added more depth and MASSIVELY advanced the main plot, and a sizeable roll in the finale. Season 3 likewise had things better: while he shows up as much as in season 1, the episode count is lower by one, and he’s a major part of the plot in every one BUT Last Christmas, with four of those having the spotlight on him in some way. They eventually did figure out how to use him far more ballanced. So yeah credit where it’s do it got MUCH better, but he still felt like a recurring character in his own series, that was still bad, and I still needed to give out about it. 

But Webby and Dewey have a mission even if Dewey dosen’t quite get what’s going on so they flip a switch to turn on a warning light of some kind forcing Launchpad to make an emergency landing on a gorgeous tropical island. To Huey’s amazement, as the place was apparenlty only a myth, though naturally the guidebook did have it’s aproximate location listed... Ithaquack, home of the gods. Naturally Scrooge and Donald want to leave as soon as possible for reasons we’ll get into but Launchpad , for once is being a responsible pilot “Better safe than.. something right? Scrooge is of course irate that Launchpad picked NOW of all times to be safe, and the Kids.. don’t listen because Huey sees a beautiful realm of myth, Louie sees a beach vacation and Dewey and Webby.. have work to do. Webby eventually fills Dewey in on why their here, having wrongly assumed he got why they were going to a mythical greek island. As Dewey delightfully puts it later “Don’t assume I know anything. “ So she pieces it together for him: Selene was the greek goddess of the moon... Della took the SPEAR of Selene. Ergo this island is the best place to find the Spear and failing that, Selene herself to get more info on it and Della. 

So we have our two plots. Scrooge and Donald dealing with their pasts and the gods, and Dewey and Webby diving into his mom’s past. And unlike the last review where a genuinely unsettling story about an abuse victim forced to manipulate her girlfriend not going into a murder vault was paired with Louie having to deal with a Sasquatch while Huey catches a case of Dewey’s stupidity somehow, these two plots are perfectly paired: Their both perfectly thematically connected, both dealing with the past, Della’s absence and Scrooge and the Twins past encounters with the gods.. but both being self contained outside of that, entirely unconnected but stilll necessary to be in the same episode. THIS is how you do two plots. But since they don’t really synch up again till the end, let’s cover each one at a time shall we?

“What if My Mom was a Bad Person?” 

The plot is pretty straight forward but expertly done: Dewey and Webby first check your standard Zelda dungeon which apparently has a cursed weapon at the end. We also get an utterly adorable and sweet shot of Webby comforting Dewey after he’s clearly shook from it. Awwww. Turns out it’s the SWORD of Selene. and quickly turns into a game of put the Cursed Sword back before we all die. 

Next up is a monster who nearly kills both protecting it’s spear.. the spear of POSIDEN. (Look at meeeeee). And since they aren’t going to be on a boat that isn’t a house boat anytime soon, they don’t need that and the monster cheerfully redirects them, with Dewey apologizing for calling it ugly. 

So all pretty standard stuff for the show and really good stuff.. but it’s the building tension underneath that truly makes the episode and leads to one hell of a climax for this plot. All the while Dewey is DESPERATE for some explination for his mom’s disapperance that isn’t her betraying Scrooge, maybe returning the spear because it was cursed or getting eaten by a monster. Just ANYTHING but the mounting and horrifying suspicion.. that his mom was a bad person who destroyed her family and betrayed her uncle and laughed all the while. Webby.. does not help, backing that side of things and constantly voicing hte idea Della betrayed Scrooge, so obsessed with solving the mystery of her life.. but so unfamilliar with people she dosen’t see the very real toll this is taking on her best friend. To her she’s just making a logical counterpoint.. to him it’s just another idea in his head about the way his mom could’ve betrayed everyone she cared about. 

So that climax is where it explodes. Our heroes find a scale model of ithaquack (Complete with Tiny Maniticore! It’s so cute Webby just wants to slay it)  and an opening.. with an ominous message about incurring the wrath of the god seemingly conforming the worst. So Webby prepares to find out the whole story.. only for Dewey to stop her. No one’s finding this out, whatever it is, no matter how far they’ve come. And given this is the biggest mystery of her life and she simply dosen’t understand WHY Dewey dosen’t want to know.. both sides are ready to fight for this. And Webby DOES try to back him down, pointing out he really can’t beat her in a fight. But Dewey’s already grown leaps and bounds form the pilot and is working smarter not harder. Beat Webby, who spent a good chunk of her life being honed into the most badass child on the parent, one who can take on several of scrooge’s worst foes one on one? Not on his life. But hold her off long enough for the gate to close? He can do that. 

So the result? One of the best fights of the series... and given the sheer amount of great ones we’ve gottten since this one it still says something it holds up THIS well. It’s an even, furiously paced fight, with Dewey using every advantage he has including tossing said manticore to keep up, but not slowing down one bit. It’s heartbreaking to see the two come to this but it’s an delight to watch. Webby DOES win eventually, though time’s running out to get in and she finally asks WHY. And  while the stakes have been crystal clear for both this whole time.. we get them laid out in the most painful way for both. 

Webby: We're so close to the truth! Why won't you let us find it?! Dewey: Because...*his voice cracks* what if my mom was a bad person?

It hits VERY hard. For Webby this has been a puzzle something to solve the greatest achivment of her life, her chance to make her mark... and her best friend just wanted to abandon it. But in one swift response, he disarms all of that.. and makes her see how insnstivie she’s been: He may not know his mom.. but he can’t bear the thought she was a bad person. That she left or WORSE, because she didn’t care about him, or scrooge or ANYONE. Knowing nothing is better than knowing she was a monster. 

Webby realizes what she’s been doing to her friend and is horrified and offers to back out. The answers.. aren’t worth destroying her brother. But her willingness to back down.. finally gets Dewey to see the light. His fear was valid.. but at the end of the day,  it’d never go away. it’d just keep eating him for the rest of his life, every time she was mentioned or he found something else out he’d just wonder if it was a lie and wonder wht he COULD’VE learned this day. And if Webby’s willing to sacrifice THIS MUCH to give him peace of mind... then he can sacrifice that peace of mind for the truth, for her, and for himself. So he pulls them inside. 

Inside they find Selene who suprises them.. and is then confused. Their not della. Also I guarantee mentally she’s thiking “Thank me I didn’t do it naked this time. “. After some confusion as to who this is, Webby explains that IS Selene, and Dewey begs for answers about the spear... only to find out she dosen’t have one. Nope. The sword seen before and a SPHERE, yes.. but no Spear. So the poor boy breaks down, back to square one. It’s hard not to see why... all this effort, all of this sacrifice.. and he’s no closer than when they first set down. 

Selene does help though... giving him an idea of who his mom WAS: one of her closest friends (And let’s face it  Della named the ship after Selene and Selene casually uses Della’s shower. If they didn’t go out at least once, I am an outer god. And I very much am not and they very much banged hard. Goodnight. ) , a good person who brought fun to everyone, and loved her family more than anything. Wether she betrayed Scrooge or not, she wasn’t a bad person. And her own orb shows it showing Della in her prime, brightly smiling next ot her family. Selene encourages the boy not to give up, that his mom always loved a mystery.. and he can solve this one and gently hugs the sobbing child.. with Dewey quickly pulling webby in. It’s genuinely touching and a satisfying ISH ending. 

The ish... is because while this is a VERY good plot, i’ll gush more about it at the end, it does have one supreme flaw: the mystery dosen’t progress. And with the huge gaps between this episode and hte next one, in BOTH airing orders... it’s unforgivable to not have EITHER plot give us any hints about what happened. I don’t ask for much, but they could’ve found a clue in the sphere Dewey got, or saw a memory of her that brought up the next place they look, just something a little. While it’s still a very fine story, the main plot suffers a bit by having one of the ONLY three episodes delving into the della mystery before it’s fully revealed in sunchaaser have almost no progress. Della was probably a good person, which comes from her ex who clearly still loves her so that’s not really reliable, and the spear isn’t literal. While the lack of progress works for the story in the episode itself.. it comes at the cost of any actual plot progression. We end up exactly where we started and have to wait SOME TIME before we get to the next spot on the tour. Well we did, you guys will find out Monday or Tuesday depending on if the finale goes up in the morning or Disney holds it till the actual airing. Please don’t you bastards. Point is it’s  VERY good plot, but it’s hampred by not really progressing the arc. 

The arc progression for this storyline is painfully slow, and tha’ts not on disney. In either order there’s a MASSIVE gap of 15+ episodes between what we learned in the great dime chase and what we learn in castle mcduck. It’s sloppy writing and I expect better from this team, especially since the Lena plot the same season is far tighter paced: each one builds a bit, both on Lena as a character (Why she’s doing this etc), her development as a person, her relationship with webby growing and Magica and her growing more and more spiteful with one another. They could’ve had at least ONE MORE subplot to build this up, especially since we really dind’t need the sasquatch episode but just.. didn’t for whatever reason and it’s still frustrating.  But as always credit where it’s due.. the next two seasons were better about it. 

Season 2 while not perfect, and we’ll get to it’s plots someday.. and I do say plots as not alternating between the two plots for season 1 was a mistake if a well meaning one as not to drive up the price for Kev but for future refrence if any of you want me to cover an arc for something I WILL have to cover all of it or any adjacent to it that flow into it. Point is they move faster and both Glomgold and Louie’s are pretty lowkey and low stakes so while enjoyable, their not moving incredibly fast dosen’t hurt the show. And the Moon plot has the best pacing of the three and possibly of the series plots period: We get filled in on Della fairly quick, getting answers on her WAY faster, get introduced to the moon and it’s people right away, get a whole episode on them, and the most importantly in sharp contrast? She returns HOME halfway into the season. 

I will probably go into this again when I get to nothing will stop della duck but Season 1′s pacing and general wisdowm made me think she wouldn’t get home anytime soon and she’d return in the finale. Instead? We get a whole half a season fleshing her out further, seeing her connect with her kids, all that good stuff, WITH an episode advancing the moon arc, without that arc feeling unimportant, but still having the slow pacing. 

Season 3 meanwhile while again not without bugs, the last few episodes before the finale having no real build up to it really wasnt a good idea and I question why these two episodes were the ones leading into it, has two seemingly barely related plots.. that EFFORTLESLY merge into one, with one hell of a huge twist in impossibin that ratchets up the stakes. I don’t know how it’ll payoff.. but we’ll see. 

So they did get better, i’m still hard on it because it happened.. but I will never stop stressing how this crew usually corrected a mistake. If they fucked up, they LEARNED FROM IT, course corrected, and made it better and they listened to US. IN the good way, not letting fans run the series but listening to valid concerns and adapting to them. And given how fucking rare that is and how hard it must’ve been with the tight schedule, I.. I really appricate it and i’m going to miss it. And I can’t think of a segue so enjoy this picture of a turtle hitting a trapper in the face with a bat instead. 

“Someone Always Gets Hurt”

So let’s take it back a few hours. Hit it boys!

Donald tries getting the boys back on the ship, clearly fearing something coming for him.. and we soon meet that something. Yes it’s the hero of legend, the stork out of myth, the star of a LOT of Donald Duck Slash FanFiction only half of which he wrote, STORKULES!

In case I didn’t make it clear when I reviewed New Gods on the Block! I love this guy. He reminds me a LOT of the marvel version: Boisterious , horny (if in a far more pg version), Gay (Pansexual for the marvel version), flawed but still immensley likeable. Stork is a bit diffrent, a bit more naive, a bit peppier and entirely blind to the fact his father is a terrible person. But my love of the marvel herc means Stork was an easy sell for me and Chris Dimatopolis’ performance is second to none, only topped in this series by his later work as Darkwing where he got a bit more range than “Joyous ham who wants to bang”. Also I’m 100% convenced he’s made this memetic expression to donald at some point... 

If someone hasn’t redrawn that with Storkules yet, we have failed as an internet. And if someone has please show me. 

His crush on Donald is also endearing even if I don’t ship the two. And if your curious as to why it’s simple: Storkules is attracted to a version of Donald that no longer exists. Storkules craves a Donald whose a brave daring hero who loves adventure. And while still a brave hero when the situation calls for it as this episode will bare out.. he just.. dosen’t have the passion for adventure he did as a kid. While a LOT of that is loosing his sister for a decade, even once he makes peace with that and later gets her back... he just wants a normal life. His greatest wish was for one. He apparenlty “wishes for this every day”. He dosen’t hate adventuering anymore and by season 3 has come to terms with the fact he’ll never get everyone else to stop.. but I also think it’s always been obvious he clearly wants to one day. To have a normal life, settle down, find a girl, and if she wants to get married. Get old , fat and happy. I honestly think that’s the direction the finale’s heading in judging from the previews. I don’t think he’ll ever stop entirely, his family life’s too insane for that.. but he just dosen’t want to keep going forever and Stork, being an immortal hero does. They want diffrent things entirely and that just won’t work. Though that’s also JUST me and if you ship them or have a way around that, feel free. This is just my opinon. 

Anyways Donald’s not happy, the kids are confused  and Scrooge. has problesm bigger than simply not knowing how to say i’m not into you.... aka Zeus, king of the gods and of all assholes. He was originally supposed to be a swan due to a certian myth.. but they realized since that myth is both really fucked up and really not for children to not do that because why the fuck would you. Point is Zeus in myth is an asshole, a rapist, a cheating husband, and a vengeful, petty dick and that’s with barely any knowledge of Greek Myth on my part. He’s played by Micheal Chiklis whose famous for The Comissh and the Shield.. but whose famous to me for playing the ever loving Blue Eyed thing in the Tim Story Fantastic Four movies.. and honeslty, at least till marvel takes a crack at it soon, is the best screen version of the character. Look the film is flawed and I don’t remember a lot of it.. but his stuff in it just NAILS the character perfectly, at least the first one, and while the look is.. eh, he was the perfect casting. He just wasn’t in the right movie. So he’s naturally awesome here as history’s greatest douchebag. 

As for why Zeus is pissed at him unlike say Donald (The whole Spear of Selene fiasco) or Magica (Who while even worse than Zeus still lost her brother because of his callousness), or others he’s wronged.. Scrooge did absolutely nothing wrong here. During a beach party Storkules intiates, he reveals he used to be king of the beach and loved and worshipped by the people of ithaquack, which last time the adult ducks visited was a lovely hideaway for heroes. Scrooge naturally did a bunch of heroic and cool stuff, and upstaged him, and then bested him in various games and what not. Zeus claims they ran off because of this and because they didn’t want to party with a god bested by a mortal.. but scrooge reveals pottery showing it’s because Zeus threw a temper tantrum aka “a year long lightning storm”. So yeah for once all Scrooge did was just upstage someone who was already objectively horrible and who brought all of htis on himself. Scrooge even points it out perfectly “They didn’t leave because they liked me, they left because they didn’t like YOU. “ 

Pissing off the god who already didn’t like you for stupid reason goes about how you’d expect and when Storkules tries to cool things down by suggesting a game, Zeus turns it into a contest. His son against Scrooge’s nephews. Because he uh dosen’t want to lower himself. Yeah that’s it, totally not that Scrooge would kick his ass and then fucking kick his ass. Yeah that’s the ticket. 

So our boys don Toga’s, and gear up for the first challenge: grabbing the bag of winds. In case you thought Spongebob just made that up. Zeus of course opens it so Donald can’t just leave, but Huey simply thinks his way out and wins , Zeus demands best 2/3 and we soon get a montage of various events from chariot racing to sculpture where we get our title picture, lest you thought I was kidding abotu Storkules obession with donald. I mean there’s subtextually having a character have a crush on another and then ther’es making a naked muscular statue of him. I.. I don’t even have a joke here. He made a naked muscular statue of Donald. The only way they could be less obvious without just coming outright and saying it was if hte statue was of hima nd storkules making out. And i’m 100% sure Frank, Matt and Dana, yes Dana Terrace was involved in this one i’m as unsurpised as you are, only didn’t do that because Disney said no. 

Zeus declares one final round because he’s tired of this..e ven though he CLEARLY won the last one while Donald once again tries to just leave and Storkules finally calls him on it wondering why he’s given up adventuring and wondering what della would say if she could see him like this, having just given up and not caring anymore about any of ths stuff.  “Well she can’t! Someone always gets hurt....”

And that one very sharp and painful line both outlines Donald’s arc here, and for the season, and makes it VERY clear why he retired and why I felt like he was already on his way and the spear of selene was simply the final straw. He gave up.. because he was just tired of it. Tired of being the one who got hurt.. and devistated when it wasn’t him that time. When he lost his sister for what he felt was NOTHING. Sure hte stars would be great but they’d done everything and gone everywhere..w asn’t.. wasn’t that enough/ Couldn’t they just be done? Couldn’t he just stop. The spear gave him an excuse to do what he always wanted, but it also caused him to harden up and view EVERYTHING about his old days of adventuring as bad when like most things i’ts not that simple., There were good times, sunshine, giant sized gay men obessing over you.. okay maybe the last part isn’t a plus in his book, but point is there was good and his arc is seeing that and realizing he can’t just cling to his pain. He has to let go so he can move on heathliy. 

As for said final challenge Zeus tasks the boys and Storkules with stealing the golden fleece from a little girl. While this is part of a whole scheme... he undereistmaed his son’s valour and Storkules is naturally sent spinning over having to steal from a child and is sent into a crisis. Louie however has no such qualms, as he is a children.. and he’s also louie.. but as he tries to the child starts singing. As Scrooge puts it “nothing good happens when creepy children start singing. “ Very true, it’s usually a sign freddy kruger’s about to show up or your  about to be taken by a miltiary orginzation obssed with The Doctor. 

The boys plug their ears.. and Zeus’ plan becomes horrifically clear. Turns out he had no real interest in an actual contest this time, and has the child take control of Storkules to murder them. And gives the doucheist shrug imaginable when his OWN SON IS BEGGING HIM NOT TO MAKE HIM MURDER SOME CHILDREN. 

Scrooge naturally gets involved. Meanwhile Donald is trying to escape the lightning cage Zeus is using to make sure no one leaves... when he hears the boys cries of terror. He may hate this kind of thing.. but there’s one thing and only one thing that can make him snap back into who he used to be like it was yesterday. And that’s harming his boys. So Donald snaps into action and it’s a glory to see as Scrooge snaps back with him “Just like old times”. The two once again get a little closer to reconclisation by wrestling a golden pansexual to prevent him from brainwashdely murdering two children. God I love this show and this job. 

Huey however is more of the aim for the head sort and Louie simply uses his natural talent to talk the siren into working with him, with him as her agent. As he puts it Zeus just wants to use her.. he wants to use her too.. but to make them BOTH rich. She agrees, Louie wins, and Donald finally accepts storkules is his friend. Scrooge TRIES to use this to mend fences with Zeus.. but Zeus being a petulant dick wants another game and Scrooge simply throws a game of billiards or something like it to get this over with. 

So we get our wrapup. Dewey and Webby return, and Storkules and Donald say their goodbyes. Donald finally admits he’s his friend.. and in that one act finally admits he can’t just bury his past because parts of it are painful. And as Storkules puts it he may be done with adventure.. btu adventure’s not done with him. He’s got more of his old self in who he is now than he thought. Dewey also accidently wins and our family finds launchpad took the plane apart. There.. there’s no real ending. I can only assume Selene said knock this shit off when she found out or beakly later came in guns blazing. I don’t know. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It has it’s fault: there’s no plot progression, and the ending is just stupid and is the only one of the series that feels like nothing was resolved. That being said.. the rest of the episode makes up for it. It’s filled with great gags as usual.. but the real meat is the character work. Dewey’s worries about his mom, and Donald’s attempt to literally leave his past behind, it’s really amazing stuff that elevates the episode past it’s flaws and into one fo the series best. Wheras revisting Other Bin reminded me it had a bad subplot that drug it down.. revisiting this one showed me just HOW near perfect it is with only a few things holding it back. Even with the dispaoitnment factor.. this one’s still excellent, with Ben, Kate and Tony all at the top of their games. Great stuff. 

Next Time on this Arc: Dewey has to face the future when the truth comes out. And Scrooge.. bitches with his dad for half the episode. Sure beats his dad sadly btu sweetly passing on to be with his wife huh?!

Next time on this blog: Amphibia time! Speaking of facing the consequences of lying to your family, Hop Pop’s FINALLY forced to face hiding the Box from Anne, and we also get an ivy episode. Super fuckin shooters. 

If you liked this review, consdier joining my patreon, link’s in the blog and next stretchgoal is a darkwing duck episode a month. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure.