#if this is all it takes to scare away people with this mindset I should walk @ with these hanged like m a christmas tree

[dopepoisonivyoncrack]

People noticing my gemstone encrusted alligator keychain on my purse: What's with the lizard on your purse?

Me: Decoration, and its an alligator.

Them: Still...reptile. Are you trying to scare people away?

Me: Yes. >:^)

*shocked, disgustued, silence*

Me: Sometimes I like things that scare others. I also wanted to buy a snake brooch but my mother really has a phobia so I understood and let it go. next question

*note: fake gemstones-like stuff. Also its cute that the tail is mobile

Also, the so called-horrifying keychain (that is only horrifying because I'm a girl, and liking reptiles is not considered cute/girly):

The horror of being a girl and liking stuff

[theelvishfiddler]

AN ARTIST'S GUIDE TO HANDS

No, sorry it's actually not an artist's guide to drawing hands. Those are just warmup studies (which I'll talk about in this post.)

This is a guide to Your Hands and how to take care of them when making art.

No one ever sits down and teaches artists how to take care of their hands. They didn’t even teach me this while I was in art college. This is just what I've learned myself through years of pain and scouring the internet for advice.

This is going to be a long one and geared towards illustrative traditional/digital/pen/pencil artists specifically, but artists of other mediums and crafts should take care of their hands too! Well, we all should take care of our bodies in general, but this is about hands.

(advice is below the read more)

First off I'm not a professional or anyone with actual medical advice. I'm just some guy with chronic hand pain who makes art. This advice is free for you to use or discard.

WARMUPS!

Ever sit down in the morning to draw and wonder why your art is so stiff and looks so much worse than what you were drawing last night? It's because you didn't warm up!

You know how for physical sports they all warmup and do stretches before getting into the actual sport. To prevent injuries and all that? Yeah, it's good to do that for art too.

One way to warmup is to just draw lines. Try to keep them as straight as you can. Going up and down and diagonal. Draw squares. Big squares. Small squares. Circles! You are warming up, keep it loose and relaxed! Basically just scribble away.

(examples. I usually keep going until there is no paper white left. This can double as practice for drawing straight lines without a ruler, which is a great skill to have when freehand city drawing.)

Before hopping right into drawing people you can try doing some quick gesture drawings. Line of Action has timed sessions with a large variety of clothed or nude models. I usually do the 30 min class as it has a nice balance of short and long timed poses. The point isn't to draw nice art, but to warm up. Try to get the basic form down, not the details. I find that doing a full class session can really help my drawings feel more loose and grounded in reality for the rest of the day.

Some examples I found in my folders. I suggest looking into what a line of action (not the site) is and giving it a try with some of the studies!

COOLDOWNS!

For sports it's to return your body back to your everyday baseline after a workout.

Example; you are working on a big project! A masterpiece! It's detailed and cool! You have been focusing on this for hours and drawing so intensely. But you need to stop working for the day.

A cooldown is for winding down out of the go go go mindset. Put away the big project and do a couple small doodles and sketches. You are relaxing your hand and letting it stretch out. Keep the sketches loose. Let the art happen slowly. Don't polish anything, that can happen another day. Just ease yourself out of drawing.

...

Cool! Now we get into the meat of this thing.

HAND PAIN

How to avoid it and how to manage it if you already have it.

I love you artists and creatives, I am begging you to please take care of your most important creative tools. I really don't want this to sound like scare tactics like "oooh you better do this or blah blah!" Nope. I just had to learn all this the hard way and I'm extremely passionate about it.

Take this advice or don’t ╮(ﾟ～ﾟ;)╭ I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad

Adjustments and Small Solutions

If you are feeling physical discomfort while drawing there are many different solutions to try! Here are some suggestions that may or may not work for you.

Hold your pencil more loosely. Stop gripping that thang so tightly!!! Relax that hand! They make these… squishy pen grip things... I think they are called Adaptive Pencil Grips or Adaptive Writing/Drawing Aids? They stop your hand from being all cramped up by making your drawing tool wider. It's going to take a bit of time to adjust to drawing with it, but it's worth it for those who hold pencils too tightly.

Don't press as heavily. For traditional art, if you find yourself pressing really hard to get darker lines try moving to a softer pencil. Most standard pencils are HB, the B pencils have softer graphite. Experiment until you find the right one for you. For Digital, adjust your pressure settings so you don't have to press as hard to get thicker lines. You should not be pressing so hard all the time, it wears out both your hand and your tablet! It takes a bit of time to adapt to pencil or pressure changes. Try doing some unimportant sketches, they don't have to be good. You are just training your hand and mind to adjust using less pressure.

Draw with your arm and not your wrist! It's small repetitive motions that cause the most strain. You probably hear this one a lot, what does it even mean? It means moving your arm with the motions of your line, and trying not to make too many tiny movements with your just your fingers or wrist. This one is hard! It takes time and conscious thought to change the habit. Tips? Work bigger. Zoom in more. Use bigger sheets of paper.

(Motions exaggerated for a clearer example)

Change the angle of your drawing surface. They make angled tablet holders, angled desks, angled desktop raisers. Experiment, find and angle that is comfortable and the one that causes the least pain. (It's also good to make sure you don't have to hold your head at an uncomfortable angle when drawing. Staring straight down or hunching over a paper flat on the table can cause pain!)

Compression Glove? Wrist brace/tensioners? Some folks use them and I've been thinking of getting one for years now. I can't give advice on this one, because I don't have experience with it. Look into it if you want!

Managing Pain

First things first.

IF YOUR HANDS START TO HURT WHILE YOU ARE DRAWING. STOP! Put the pencil/pen/paintbrush/whatever down. The art will still be there for you to continue tomorrow.

I know from experience that it's extremely hard to pull away when you are hyper focused on an art piece. It's hard to remember all sorts of basic needs like food or bathroom when hyper focused. But you Need to stop when you feel that pain. (Preferably even before the pain…)

Take Breaks! Let your hands rest when you can. Just like a machine, if you don't schedule maintenance, the machine will schedule maintenance for you. Often that means having to wait a few days for it to return to functional. Best to take a day off from heavy usage or take an occasional 30 min break throughout the day to let your hands rest.

Stretching is important! Full body stretches are good; your arms, shoulders, neck, and spine are all connected, but I'm specifically talking about HAND and wrist stretching. There are a lot of stretches and massages for carpal tunnel and arthritis out there. I find they work for hand pain in general. Move into and out of each stretch slowly. Do not push a stretch if it hurts!! Be gentle!!

I am not a qualified professional and I will not be giving out specific stretches (that is beyond my personal comfort level). There are other artists out there who have made helpful stretching info-graphics which are cool, but I will not be because i don't want to be responsible for someone accidentally hurting themself. Ask your doctor for stretches & advice or look some up on your own.

Don't feel bad about forgetting to stretch frequently! Of course it is good to do it regularly and frequently, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I remember to stretch daily. Setting timers for stop and stretch sessions can work for some people, but also doing stretches whenever you remember is fine! If you are sitting on the toilet you can idly do some hand stretches. On the bus? Laying in bed? At the beach? Do a couple stretches! Even just once a week is better than… nonce a week.

Using Cold or Heat to treat pain. If you really overdid it, put your hands in some cold water or wrap a cloth around an ice pack and apply it to your hand. Cold works best for me, but warmth works for others. This is just pain reduction and reducing inflammation from overuse! This is not a permanent solution.

If your hand hurts a lot! Frequently! Talk to your doctor? Idk mine has never given real advice. Just gently poked my hand and told me there isn't much to be done about it :/ but there are really good doctors out there who will care and give helpful advice!

Again. IF IT HURTS TO CONTINUE DRAWING. STOP DRAWING! This is not a "no pain no gain" type situation. Drawing so much that you hurt yourself isn't noble, it's just… limiting yourself. You only get one set of hands. These things are very handy to have.

Other Advice

Things I couldn't figure out how to fit into the earlier sections.

Your other hand can't handle the strain! Lets say you hurt your drawing hand... the other hand is right there free to use for art. Right? Wrong. Your other hand can't keep up with the demand, it hasn't been trained to the same extent as your dominant hand, it does not have the built up muscle. If you want to use that hand for drawing you are going to have to use it s l o w l y and train it bit by bit over a long period of time. When I tore a tendon in my right hand I decided to just keep drawing with my left and I got Really Good at it. It only took like two months before my left hand hurt too much to move. Then I had 0 functioning hands to pull up my pants. Not fun!!

People who draw on phones. That is extremely impressive! I'm amazed by the things people can create on such a small space. But phone artists are the ones I see most frequently mentioning hand pain. please please please make sure you are taking breaks. Would a stylus work instead of using a finger?

Outside of Drawing. Sometimes it's things outside of drawing that are causing the pain. For me there are multiple sources, but I also have tiny baby hands. Holding a phone too long causes pain. The handheld mode for my Switch causes A Lot of pain. The way my hand rests while typing on my laptop hurts! Playing tense videogames for too long hurts! Find the source of your pain and make some changes. The same things will apply to most; take regular breaks, do some stretches, and find soft things to prop up or rest your arms on.

Change your Artstyle. This one is more of a last resort. You might have to change your art style if you are getting sharp pains every time you draw. I loved drawing tight clean lines and many small fancy details, but drawing like that left me in so much pain at the end of the day. In 2023 I had to take the better part of year off from illustrations just to learn how to sketch and draw more loosely. I had to learn how to be gentle. To stop gripping my pencil so tightly. Learn! Adapt! You might discover a new style that you love even more!

A lot of this stuff gets more complicated in a work setting where you have to draw fast and long in order to get paid. Things like reducing your workload can help, but that can be... financially rough. But outside of that, it’s ok to be a slow artist. Going full steam and hurting yourself is not worth it.

Aaaaaanyway, thats all folks. Today's rant brought to you by me! The guy with chronic hand pain who always forgets to stretch! The guy who got frustrated with a sketch yesterday and decided to push to keep drawing for just one more hour! The guy who woke up this morning and had to spend 2 hours massaging and stretching their hands. The guy who probably shouldn't have typed all of this out because ooww ow ouch

If your hands do hurt, it's going to be ok! You don't need to be a speed demon who draws all the time. It's ok to take your time and take frequent breaks. You are going to do great things! Just be gentle with yourself...

[jjunieworld]

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ TXT AS MITSKI LYRICS ‎⸝⸝⸝

pairing: txt x gn!reader genre: scenerios/headcannons, fluff, angst, established relationship, hurt/comfort, exes to lovers, lovers to exes, fwb to lovers (suggestive), childhood friends to ??? word count: 500-700 for each member author’s note: i’ve been listening to mitski a lot and this idea randomly popped in my head! it’s not completely based off the meanings of the songs!! i feel like these would be fun to write full fics for. if you listen to mitski, what’s your favorite song?? mine is once more to see you and last words of a shooting star!!! (｡´‿`｡) all feed back and reblogs are welcome! enjoy!! ♡ ⇢ ( continue on to . . . masterlist or request rules )

𓍼 ˋ✮ YEONJUN

brand new city - mitski 𓍯 “but if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn’t know how to be alive. i should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die.”

yeonjun couldn’t understand it. he simply couldn’t understand what was making you feel this way. what was making you feel so insecure. the two of you sat on the bed in your shared bedroom, you with tears streaming down your face and the saddest expression on your face that absolutely broke yeonjun’s heart into pieces.

he had his arms wrapped tightly around you, scared that if he let go you’d completely shatter, with your head buried in his chest. you pulled away so you could sniffle and so your already hard to hear voice wouldn’t be even more muffled. “i just… i just feel like i’m not good enough,” you said through choked sobs. “not pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough. and i feel like nothing that i do to prove that i am pretty, that i am smart, that i am good enough is enough.”

you furiously wiped your tears and stared hard at the comforter of your bed. “everywhere i look, there’s someone better than me. and if i’m not good enough, not pretty, then what am i? what purpose do i serve?” yeonjun could feel his own tears well up in his eyes at your words. at the fact that you even think this way. he cupped your face gently so that you looked at him through glassy tears.

“you’re not here to serve a purpose. you’re not here to be pretty enough for someone, or smart enough for someone, or even good enough for someone. you’re here to simply be, that is all.” yeonjun wiped the tear trails on your cheeks with his thumbs. “and you are pretty enough, and smart enough, and good enough, but none of that matters if you’re measuring yourself on the opinions of someone else.”

nodding, you took in his words, a hiccup escaping your mouth. yeonjun continued, “the people who you see somewhere who you think are better than you? they’re thinking the same exact thing about you. all that matters is how you feel about you, if you feel like you’re enough for you. not for someone you’ve never met, not for me, for you.”

yeonjun kissed your forehead and looked at you in the eyes through furrowed brows to make sure his words were getting across to you. you gave him a small smile before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. pulling away giggling, you apologized for the salty kiss, for which yeonjun just laughed. “i’ll take a million salty kisses if it means you get out of this mindset,” yeonjun said.

you buried your face in his chest again, no doubt getting his shirt all wet. “thank you, jjunie,” you replied, voice muffled. yeonjun rubbed circles into your back, “there’s no need to thank me. what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t try and help you?”

𓍼 ˋ✮ SOOBIN

francis forever - mitski 𓍯 “and autumn comes when you’re not yet done with the summer passing by, but i don’t think i can stand to be where you don’t see me.”

it was a warm summer day when you and soobin stopped being a couple. you were on a walk on a tree-lined street—now that you looked back on it, it was such a normal day. how could you see the forming cracks in your relationship when the sun was shining so brightly outside?

you’ll never forget the words soobin said that changed everything. “y/n, when are we going to stop pretending?” soobin had asked, breaking the silence that filled the space between the two of you. at first, you were confused about what he meant, and you expressed such. “when are we going to stop pretending like we aren’t in two different places?” soobin had then guided you to a bench to talk. there, the two of you had broken up. that was the last time you saw him.

it was autumn now and the multicolor leaves swayed to the will of the wind. you were sitting on that same bench that you were four months ago, on that same tree-lined street, only now not as naive. you were so stupid for letting such a good thing slip between your fingers.

you couldn’t help but think about the good times in your relationship with soobin despite the way it ended. your walks, how you would take them when the two of you needed to be alone with your thoughts but still wanted to be with each other. how soobin would never let either of you go to sleep angry at one another, even if in the moment it pissed you off. how whenever either of you had a bad day, words didn’t even need to be said. all that was needed was comforting looks and gentle and soothing touches.

now you stared up at the gaps of sunlight coming down through the multicolor leaves, cold and alone. four months ago, you decided to mutually breakup to grow alone before you both grew together. but now, you realized just how stupid that was. why couldn’t the two of you have grown together—find yourselves together? why did you have to do it alone for it to be so significant? wasn’t the point of being in a relationship growing together?

just when you were about to think about how much you missed soobin, you heard a familiar voice come from your side. “y/n?” the voice asked hesitantly, and you wanted to thank your lucky stars for this moment. you turned just as soobin came more into your vision. a warm smile lit up your face, “soobin, hi! it’s been a while…” you almost cringed at how awkward that sentence was and how unnatural it felt.

soobin was never one to get to the point, but you could sense a quiet determination in him as he nodded and sat on the bench near you. “i know, and i just want to say that i’m sorry,” soobin started. you gave him a confused look as you waited for him to continue. “and i just want to say how stupid i am to think that even though at the time we were in different places, that we couldn’t make our way towards each other together. i was so stupid for even starting the conversation and i’m sorry that it took four months for me to realize that.”

the smile on your face grew and in turn, it caused a nervous smile to grow on soobin’s. “what?” he then asked. you laughed a little, “you know, i was literally just thinking the exact same thing!” you scooted closer to him and took his hands in yours like it hasn’t been months since you last saw him face to face, last touched him. “i missed you, soobin,” you said quietly.

“i missed you too, y/n,” soobin replied. “let’s grow together, yeah?” you giggled and nodded. soobin came just centimeters from your lips before stopping in a silent question and your smile grew as you closed the gap. you didn’t want to be where soobin wasn’t, there wasn’t any point in it. the last four months showed you that. as long as you were with him, growing with him, you’d always find your way back to each other.

𓍼 ˋ✮ BEOMGYU

goodbye, my danish sweetheart - mitski 𓍯 “maybe when you tell your friends, you can tell them what you saw in me and not how i turned out to be.”

to say you and beomgyu were on the rocks was an understatement. you both were hanging off a cliff by the tips of your fingers with a raging ocean underfoot. it was surprising to the both of you how you managed to get here after three years of dating. one moment everything between you two was perfect—sunshine and rainbows and crystal clear skies.

then the dark, stormy clouds started to form slowly until it snuffed out the sunlight. until you couldn’t see the rainbows anymore. and it didn’t just rain, it poured—hailed even. as the two of you stand in front of each other, red in the face and screaming, you both wondered—how.

“who are you?” beomgyu asked you, brows knitted together. he stared at you as if he was finally seeing clearly for the first time in his life. “because it’s like you’re a complete stranger now…” you scoffed as even more anger filled you to the brim. at this point, you didn’t even know what the two of you were arguing about.

it seemed like anything set the two of you off these days. yesterday, the two of you argued over a blanket. someone had folded it and placed it in the wrong place. that argument ended up with the two of you screaming at each other and sleeping in different rooms. you couldn’t remember the last time you and beomgyu slept in the same bed.

“who am i?” you asked him incredulously. “who are you?” scoffing again, you turned your back to beomgyu and tried to unclench your tightened fists at your side. twirling back around, you started, “if anyone is the stranger, it’s you. tell me, beom—“

“do you love me?” beomgyu cut you off. your mouth closed and you took a small step back in shock, eyebrows raised. you stared at him for a brief second as you tried to process what he just said. “o-of course!” you stammered out, your eyebrows now furrowing. “of course i do! what kind of question is that?” you added. it felt like ice cold water had just been poured over you, suddenly melting away all the anger.

beomgyu gave a defeated sigh as he slumped down onto the couch. he rubbed at his temples and closed his eyes. “not the way you use to,” he spoke, now looking up at you. “you love me out of obligation now. because you don’t want three years to have gone down the drain. you love me because it’s necessary, not because you actually love me.”

you took timid steps towards the couch. “that’s not true…” you trailed. despite your running thoughts, you didn’t know what else to say to him. of course you loved him, he was the love of your life, your everything. this was just a rough patch that all couples have and you would get through it, wouldn’t you? “you’re the love of my life, beomgyu. my everything,” you echoed your thoughts.

“was,” beomgyu responded. you flocked to him as tears formed in your eyes. you went to cup his face but he just turned away from you. “but despite everything, you’re still mine,” beomgyu spoke as he looked you in the eyes. “we can’t keep going on like this—arguing everyday about nothing. one of us has to end it. so i’m ending it.” he stood up, leaving you on the couch in tears.

𓍼 ˋ✮ TAEHYUN

a loving feeling - mitski 𓍯 “holding hands under a table. meeting up in your bedroom. making love to other people. telling each other it’s all good.”

taehyun wanted you, and he wanted you bad. in a way, he already had you. just not fully—not in the way he truly wanted you. and don’t get him wrong, he enjoyed having you under him, but after that moment passed and you both cleaned up to leave, that was it. he wanted more.

he was fine with just hooking up with you here and there, being your date when you didn’t have one and holding your hand under the table hoping you would get his message. but you didn’t. it wasn’t part of the unspoken agreement you both came up with. the intimate relationship the two of you had was strictly physical, not romantic.

“sorry for ending things so abruptly,” you spoke as taehyun helped tie the opening your shirt had, “i kinda forgot that i’m suppose to meet this guy i met online for a date.” taehyun’s eyebrows raised slightly, which you could see with the mirror in front of you. his eyes met yours, “date?”

you smiled slightly, nodding. “yup,” you replied, turning to him as he finished tying your shirt. “pretty nice guy so far. why, you jealous?” you teased him. taehyun smirked, “we both know nobody else can compare to me. why would i be jealous?” your pretty laugh filled his ears as you moved to put on your shoes.

taehyun’s heart dropped slightly at your reveal. he desperately wished that it was him you were preparing to go on a date with. instead, he had to watch as you got ready for a date with someone else. watch as you slipped out the door and into the arms of another. it felt like the two of you were going in circles.

“i just don’t get it? why do they all act the same?” you sulked on taehyun’s shoulder, drunk out of your mind. you had called taehyun after you had broken up with your recent boyfriend, needing a shoulder to cry on. of course he obliged, what kind of friend would he be if he didn’t? you stared up at him with big glassy doe eyes as your speech slurred, but he heard you perfectly, “none of them are you. why don’t you feel the same about me, taehyun?”

taehyun’s eyes widened as you turned to take another shot. he put it to the back of his mind for now, determined to get you home safely. a couple days later he came to you with your admission and you froze in fear. “o-oh…” you mumbled, looking down. “i didn’t—i’m sorry if y—“ you didn’t get a chance to sputter out any more words before taehyun’s lips were on yours, a kiss full of passion and wanting connecting you. “i do feel the same about you,” taehyun smiled as he pulled away, holding you in his arms. “i have all this time.”

𓍼 ˋ✮ HUENINGKAI

two slow dancers - mitski 𓍯 “but we’re two slow dancers, last ones out. we’re two slow dancers, last ones out.”

the first time you met kai was at your middle school dance. your “date” had left you to go dance with your friend, leaving you heartbroken in the middle of the gymnasium floor. he had swept in like your knight in shining armor asking if you wanted to dance and saving you from embarrassment. as the two of you slow danced together, that’s when your love for him had first started to bud.

unfortunately, the two of you never progressed past that moment. kai had moved away shortly after and through the grapevine you heard that the dance was a makeshift goodbye party with his friends. you heart was broken, but eventually you moved past it and middle school.

the second time you and kai met was on your college campus. it turns out you two were actually going to the same place. you feelings for him had always lingered inside you and seeing him in person again ignited those feelings. the two of you had gotten close. your feelings for him suddenly bloomed rapidly, and right when you were gonna take the leap and ask him out, he told you about this girl he was talking to.

“we’re a lot alike,” kai had blushed, turning the textbook page the both of you were studying. “i just can’t believe she actually likes me back!” you had begun to distance yourself from him for your own sanity, not that he noticed. he was a man newly in love and you didn’t want to do anything to disturb that. again, you moved past it and eventually college.

you didn’t meet kai again until years later down the line. you were older now, wiser and all that. you barely thought about the boy who once plagued your mind—not outside the occasional ‘what if.’ by pure chance, you accidentally collided with him miles away from your middle school and college.

“i’m so so sorry, oh my gosh!” you frantically exclaimed as you ran to the nearest table to grab napkins. as you pressed it to the huge coffee stain on a pure white shirt, you finally looked up and came face to face with your first love. your eyes widened and you choked on your words. from the looks of it, kai did too. “y-y/n!” kai exclaimed. “it’s been so long! how have you been? oh—and don’t worry about the stain, i’ll just get another shirt!”

the two of you sat in that cafe for what seemed like hours as you caught up with each other. you asked each other various questions, such as ‘where has life been taking you?’ and ‘are you taken? any special person waiting for you at home?’ it turns out you were both single. you felt that familiar blooming at your chest and as the night progressed. you were determined not to let him slip from your fingers again.

“you know, i use to have a thing for you,” you mentioned as the topic of your college days was brought up. kai laughed softly, his voice teasing, “use to?” you shot him a playful smile back. “i use to have a thing for you too,” he added quietly. your smile turned genuine as it widened. “still do… always will,” you trailed as you took a sip from your mug, you glanced up at him bravely.

“so then what are we waiting for?” he asked you, his features lighting up with a smile causing one of your own. you sat your mug down and gave a playful shrug, “i don’t know—ball’s in your court.”

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

permanent taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @riaawr @nxzz-skz @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047

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[dreamwritersworld]

You can’t catch me now

y/n was Jake’s eldest daughter, his warrior. He made sure she was strong and walked her every step with power. No one would be able to touch her if she was trained, so that’s exactly what he did..

*

Those innocent eyes and childlike behavior stopped when he played the games with her, played the games she enjoyed to do with her siblings…he scared her.

“Hide!”

Y/n ran giggling, excitement running through her. She had found a bush to hide in, taking deep breaths to catch her breath. Her smiled remained, excitedly waiting for her father to past by her figuring he’d never find her…until he did..

“Y/n! You can’t take breaks! You hear me? No breaks! You’re supposed to run, do you know what will happen if people find you like this? They’ll eat you up and spit you right out! This isn’t a game!”

Jake had shook her back and forth ensuring that she would listen to his raised voice

“I thought we were playing dad-“

“No dad! Just sir! You can’t play with your life in the forest! You’re not taking any chances.”

Y/n’s tears began to fill her eyes as she turned away, waiting to play the game again..

“Hide!”

This time she ran, farther than she ever had. It wasn’t excitement that kept her going, she gave up on that when she realized it would get her nowhere. Y/n survived on fear.

She could hear her father catching up to her, climbing up the trees and jumping from one to another without making a noise became a skill she would perfect, something Jake never could.

somehow, in some way…Jake would always catch her. He cheated her, gambled the game knowing he’d always win. Jake would track her and yell at her when she was caught…he kept her adrenaline high.

*

However he didn’t treat the rest of his two daughters the same, he was kinder…sweeter…gentler. It was obvious to everyone that no matter how much training Y/n did, Neteyam was his star. He had set her up to fail every time she went against him. Maybe it had been his old mindset that got ahead of him, believing that men like Neteyem should be able to succeed more.

In the forest there was one deadly game of them all…Jake threw Y/n in it. Neytiri was furious, she smiled with tears in her eyes..struggling to maintain herself in front of the crowd as she watched Y/n prepare for the battle. She yanked Jake to the side and that’s where they argued in hushed voices away from the crowd..

“Get her out Jake. This is not worth it-“

“She is proving herself, she is second highest in her division compared to Neteyam-“

“He wouldn’t be able to survive either! We do not play with Eywa’s animals, and we do not play with our children’s lives either!”

“Don’t baby her! My daughter has more to her than just second place, she has something to prove-“

“To who? To you? She’s terrified! I can see it on her face!”

“she’s fine, and if she gets hurt? She’ll get right back up.”

Neytiri hissed, walking away showing her anger right to Jake..she didn’t fear him, she feared what he would do to their children…what he is doing to them.

The crowd called out for the fight, everyone watched Y/n from the cliff…her chest was heaving heavily and adrenaline ran through her…she was scared. Y/n was going against the biggest animal in the forest , all by herself. She was angry…angry that her dad put her in this situation…angry that no one fought for her…angry that they were all watching.

The angtsìk looked at her with the most challenging look..all she wanted to do was look away in search for the best place to run away.

The fighting went on for awhile and the crowds of the people were higher than ever…Y/n’s body was getting weak with each step she took..the last hit was irresistible as the animal threw her across the ground.

There’s blood on the side of the the mountain..

That’s when the panic set in, realizing their young warrior wasn’t getting up..

“Get her! Get my daughter now!”

Soldiers tasseled the animal as Neytiri and Jake swooped down to pick up their child. Jake had no shame in the way he roughly picked her up.

Y/n’s eyes opened up to her grandmother cleaning up her wounds..

“You need to take care of yourself Y/n-“

“I didn’t ask for that! I didn’t ask for-“

Whimpers escaped her mouth as the stitches pierced her skin..

“…I didn’t ask for that grandmother..I didn’t..”

Weakness took over Y/n’s body due to all the pain and she had fainted..

*

There’s writing all over the wall..

“Y/n! Stop doing that!”

“I want materials to write in like the other kids..Like Neteyam..”

“You don’t deserve it! You didn’t win-“

“So then I get to write on the wall. It won’t hurt anyone-“

“Stop it.”

Jake yanked Y/n’s crayons from her hands roughly, all y/n did was cry and throw a tantrum..poor child was set to fail in her division with Neteyam and yet he yelled at her.

*

“Y/n? Oh thank Eywa!”

Neytiri grasped Y/n as though it was her last, y/n reciprocated..knowing it’d be their last..

“Where’s father?”

I got up eagerly, ready to finally retaliate harder than ever…he signed me up for the fight moments before, I wasn’t even ready.

“He’s in-“

“You! You signed me up for that fight! Knowing I would never make it! How could you?”

“You needed to prove yourself to the clan! Show you were strong! You did good, you lasted awhile. We’re not arguing about this Y/n, I’m not like you.”

“No, you’re not Jake. And im not like you, Thank Eywa! As if I would ever want to be you.”

I made sure to make my words hurt and I looked him right in the eye, no hesitation in my voice.

“How dare you? I’m tired of this behavior, you act as though I do nothing for you. You are succeeding at everything because of me, and I could take away all the praise the people give you in a second!”

“Go ahead! As if I need their opinion! I know I sure as hell don’t need yours!”

“Jake! Y/n stop-“ mother had interrupted but her low voice, that small voice always failed to interrupt our arguments..

“You always say I need to train! I need to do more and maybe I’ll be able to lead the clan but you make promises that you don’t keep!”

“Because you need to be ready for whatever is to come!”

“You always say that and nothing ever happens!”

“Yeah! Nothing happens and you stay safe!”

Jake banged his hand on whatever was near him making sure Y/n heard him.

“Safe from what? From you? Yea that’s the best solution for me, because you make me sick.”

I walked away eager and Jake followed…he couldn’t even let me win in anything. It was almost as though the shadow of us were dancing.

“You think that’s ok to say to me? I am your father!-“

“Since when? Huh? I stopped calling you that a long time ago Jake. Just leave me alone. I hate you!”

For once tears fell from my eyes, pain from years of suffering fell…I never felt so vulnerable. All it took was a moment closer to death and knowing my father put me to it.

“What? Now you’re crying? Don’t cry! Own that, own what you just said! Now!”

Jake got closer yelling in my face, pushing me back and forth. In that moment I decided I wasn’t going to retreat and back away like I usually did as a kid..he knew how to push my buttons and I didn’t care to hold back anymore.

“I hate you. You’re the most disgusting person I’ve ever known. And to think you’re my father? You’re OUR father?..”

Both Y/n and Jake glanced at the three siblings who had just walked into the hut..there was no hiding how much pity they had for Y/n.

“…you think we want this? A soldier for a dad? As if. Life isn’t something to win! You want me out at war? You want me going against the whole world? So be it. Just know that if I burn, you burn with me.”

That was the last thing Y/n said to Jake and he never wanted anything more than to just correct her. Even when she was so frustrated, she always knew where to hit.

For once he felt..the bitter taste of my fury and all of the messes he made

Jake knew Y/n wasn’t coming home that night..but he wasn’t going to search for her, he knew she’d come on her own. So Jake had ordered the rest of the kids to go to bed while he pasted back and forth waiting for Y/n.

“Jake..? She still hasn’t come home, you have to search for her. You pushed her out..you pushed our daughter away.”

“don’t blame me Neytiri please, you know all I’ve ever wanted was the best for her.”

“Yet you don’t push the others like you push her. you didn’t train the other two girls like you do her, because you saw what was becoming of her. she won’t allow you to change her anymore Jake. That’s what scares you, so you keep tempting her…and now my daughter won’t come home. So go and find her!”

Jake listened, he searched for her alone in the dark..and there was no trace of her. That’s when he began panicking..crying to the winds of nothing.

His daughter was gone. The mocking jay as he would call her, she had the voice of a siren..and she was able to mimic anything that was given to her. She moved as though she was flying, gentle and silent. Y/n was the reminder that he had failed as a father, and she let him know..

Little did he know Y/n was watching him from the trees…she was no longer mad, just felt empty. She gave up on Jake a long time ago, but if he claimed he wanted her to be safe…why put her through such dangerous situations?..

you’ll see my face in every place but you can’t catch me now..

The next morning Jake had sent out the clan for Y/n..she was nowhere to be found. Far too skilled to be seen and far too smart to let them find her.

Y/n had resided in the restricted areas, she learned to survive on her own as the weeks passed. She knew about the clan and her family grieving her absence..but what could she do? Return?..Y/n made her choice and she wasn’t one to change it immediately.

Bet you’d never thought I’d do it. Thought it’d go over my head..

She spent her days hunting and killing any avatars she had seen. There was times where she would catch her siblings walking around aimlessly with no care in the world…she wished so dearly to go back to that part of her.

This was one of those times, Y/n stared down the trees, watching her siblings go deeper into the unknown parts of the forest..

Trees hid her as they hung. They were coming to her tree closer and closer, until she heard cracking that was in no way theirs. When she leaped onto the next avatars were beneath her, her arrow remained steady.

She was frustrated watching her siblings wait for their father to save them, so she aimed her bow and shot three men, as she called out a calling mimicking her mother knowing they’d realize quick enough to run. Y/n aimed a tassel around another man’s neck, hanging him up the tree and shooting another on the way out.

She was doing just fine until she was left out in the open, coming face to face with Quaritch and a couple of frustrated soldiers. He had yanked her hair back and forth, urging her to call for her father.

“Wow what a devil your father made of you! You just think you can waltz in here and ruin my plan! Call out for him and your siblings now-“

Soldiers fall and fire guns as arrows began flying around once again, Neytiri’s calling whistle out for her.

Quaritch however didn’t give up, he continued to hold up the gun against her head. The men surrounded him shooting in nearby trees.

“Come on out! Come by the hanging tree since your daughter wants to hang up our soldiers! Come on Jake! I’ll put a bullet right through her!”

Jake froze…she was the daughter he believed was gone because she left..

All those time he’d catch a footstep in the mud that looked all too familiar or those times he believed that he saw her in between the trees…that was all her.

“Let go of me!”

A hiss louder than before was released, representing how grown and mature Y/n had become as an individual. Y/n mustered the strength to flip the both of them over, chaos began once again as the solider panicked shooting the trees. Jake shot both solider while Neyitiri finished them.

They both watched Y/n murder Quaritch. Neytiri let out a cry as she went to stop her, worrying far too much that her baby had changed.

He couldn’t catch her now. Jake knew that and he had to sit in it even longer, his daughter would never treat him as an equal. She came like a storm, into his mind when he had tried so hard to forget her. For once, Y/n was higher than the hopes of failure Jake always brought down on her.

“My daughter! My daughter oh..”

Neytiri sobbed into the bloody body of Y/n, she didn’t pull away from her mothers hug. Instead she embraced it, her mother was the only one who grounded her.

“Mother..im sorry..im so sorry.”

Neytiri was the only one parent Y/n felt the need to apologize to, why should she ever feel the need to even speak to Jake again?..her mother who yes, at times failed to defend her daughter properly but still did her best. On the late nights Y/n came home Neytiri would sneak away to greet and relax her tired out body. So for Y/n, being away was the hardest part..

“y-y/n? Where have you been?”

Her hand had went up immediately pausing Jake’s questions and bothering. She was willing to tell him exactly what he needed to hear before he ever got anything again.

“I never asked for anything to happen to me back at home. I never asked to be your stupid mockingjay. I never asked to play your dumb games. I just wanted to be a good daughter…and yet you threw me away! Like I was nothing.

“Y/n..I’m sorry. I never meant to-“

“But you did! You did Jake! And I’m sorry but I can’t find it in my heart to ever forgive you, I refuse to.”

“y/n…noo”

Jake’s tears of yearning for his eldest daughter built up even more and they had spilt out.

“I mean it Y/n. You can come home, everything is ready for you..just how you left it. Come home for you mother sake..please.”

The pair stared at each other and that moment confirmed it. Jake had finally looked into the eyes of his true creation, someone to never be broken and someone forever be loyal to. Y/n stayed there for awhile before speaking

“..I’ll go back. But mark my words…this is not for you, this decision is for my mother.”

Jake took that answer and eagerly cleaned himself up before taking them to return back home…that excitement surprised Y/n..maybe for once things will change.

!💕!

THIS IS JUST ONE PART! IM SORRY I JUST REALLY NEEDED TO POST SO I DID THIS!!! BYE LOVE YOU

[etherfabric]

How to grow from your roots

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn’t resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Judgment, The Devil

Be honest about what you really need - not what you could make do with if forced to by your fear of causing a commotion. You need to speak up about what makes your heart sing, what makes your belly full, your day a bright one instead of a dull one, your relationships something you cherish instead of feeling suffocated by them. No matter how big. But you can start small. "You want something to drink with that?" No, actually, I don't. Thank you. "Need anything from the store?" Yes, actually, this kind of tea, last time you brought the wrong one. I like the chamomile, not the nettle one. "Can I call you back?" Yes, but after 8PM I won't answer. I want to watch the new episode. "Can I borrow that?" No, I get scared when other people have it. Sorry.

It might feel like being a diva the first times around, and the anxiety about what people might think will tank the emotional gain initially - but wait until the smoke settles, and nothing dreadful actually happened. Plus - you got your thing! Yay! That's the stuff. Whoever shames you for that is just too accustomed to your placation, and will surely find another comfort soon enough.

Pile 2

The Sun, 6 of Swords

Believe that you deserve what you already have, then you will have no qualms expecting the next blessings. What seemed presumptuous in your old mindset is suddenly the only logical turn of events. Of course I will meet someone. Of course they will like me. Of course I will get what I need. Of course I will accomplish my version of health. If you feel comfortable with the idea, imagine roots or lightbeams shooting down from you into the core of the Earth. You belong here. Life gave you what you have. Of course you deserve it. You are part of all of us, and we want you to be content and fulfilled. It's safe to continue. It's safe to want more. Because there IS more for you. Just like you got everything you already have. It's yours to enjoy. Not your foundation is shaky - your knees are trembling. Find comfort, find relief, and see how it carries you like it always has.

Pile 3

7 of Wands, 6 of Swords

You have forgotten what you are actually capable of. The last season asked different things of you than what you need to bring to the table now. But it's nothing new, or necessarily complicated - you already got it in you. It's like you are not even looking in your closet for something appropriate to wear, because you just decided it's all shit anyways, so don't bother opening it. You got your defenses up, because being small was safe so far. But now, the old skin starts itching. Tear it apart! It's not as fragile as the fresh pink one you had to grow tenderly after the wound. This one is dry and flaky, and begs to be shed by movements you didn't dare to do for a long time. Find a situation where you can prove yourself to yourself. See it with your own eyes that you are a new version of your old self, and capable of everything former and beyond.

Pile 4

5 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

Your darkest times are begging to be included in your story. Not to drag you down - to elevate you! Look at what you survived! What you came back from! You don't celebrate this enough. You live the life of someone else, someone ordinary, someone with only happy days. You should carry yourself like the force you are. You should command the respect you always had for yourself to keep fighting, trying again, getting up sooner or later, and be it just to go to the toilet. You don't know the weight of your life because you always carry it, but it would crush others. That is something to be proud of. That is something giving you the vigor you are looking for to get what you want, become who you see before your inner eye, and live the life that calls to you. You are not daydreaming - you are finally coming to your senses.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

[starseungs]

take a shot. ksm. (teaser)

kim seungmin x fem!reader — it really shouldn't take a genius to figure out that you and your co-star didn't get along. you knew kim seungmin. you knew how life functioned despite the cameras. and you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.

genre/s — drama, angst, fluff, a sprinkle of comedy, actors au, rivals to lovers • teaser: 1.2k words (actual fic: around 10k or more)

warning/s — profanity, main characters aren't on the best terms, implied death taken lightly, more warnings will be added on actual release if necessary.

note — enjoy the product of me and @starlostseungmin's active imagination over chanel seungmin.... how does one look THAT good? 😖💘 : the full fic is out !!

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The car remained silent despite your words of confusion. You felt as though your world had come to an extreme halt, giving you a whiplash as the buzz of the road outside continued to pierce through your ears. There was nothing else to keep your mind away from the absolute bomb of news that was just given to you; your manager had turned it down before uttering the horrid sentence that brought your untimely demise.

The car may have kept on with its task of moving forward—but you were stuck frozen in place.

“You’re joking.”

Your world fell on seemingly deaf ears. The man up front, steering the wheel, rendered himself mute to your growing distress, finding the busy traffic of city life interesting enough to keep his eyes glued. But the urban chaos didn’t distract you one bit from brewing a storm of gunpowder inside your throat.

And just like that, a ghost of a click was heard.

“No—please tell me you’re joking,” you voiced out, tone betraying your attempts at keeping things respectful. It soon came to your attention that the effort was of no use, as your manager still chose to keep his peace. “Changbin!”

The car swiveled a bit off-lane for a second before returning to its correct course. Normally, such an abrupt action by a vehicle would concern you, as you would argue that you were still much too young to suffer at the hands of a road accident, but no such thoughts even made their way into your brain. Just like how time had stopped for you, there was no time for debating over survival either. One life or death situation was already enough for you.

You wanted answers, and you were going to get them.

Changbin exhaled audibly from the scare he just put both of you through. His hands shook with a slight tremor, and that was all it took for him to decide that pulling over to the nearest parking area was for the best.

“Don’t yell in the car like that!” You scoffed at his scolding, finding the whole situation ironic.

“Oh, so you can do it all the time, but I can’t?” You shot back. Changbin sighed tiredly, finally registering the extent of your agitation. "Plus, I have a perfectly good reason why I’m yelling!”

“Listen, Y/N, it’s really not that bad—”

“Yes, it is that bad!” The words spill out of your mouth in utter disbelief at his attempts at assurance. “I’m working with Kim Seungmin, of all people!”

“And that’s why it’d be fine!” Changbin argued, running a hand through his already tousled hair. You blinked at his reply, baffled by the sheer implication.

“—How?”

Changbin clicked his tongue at the question, finding it hard to digest just why you were so against working with the mentioned actor. With the mere sound of that actor’s name spat out of your mouth, one would think that he had somehow managed to offend your entire bloodline. But that kind of bitterness could only be achieved through a sour history, so you really couldn’t empathize with your manager’s mindset either.

Even you knew that this movie would be enormously successful from the director alone. Director Han Jisung’s influence and presence in the industry were not a laughing matter—in fact, you should already be trembling in anxiety just knowing that you snagged probably the biggest role you’d ever get in your whole career. He was only around the same age as you, but the winding list of his achievements was already one for the records. And yet, here you were rethinking your contract with him even before the project started.

Just because of who you were going to be acting alongside with.

“Seungmin is a nice person,” Changbin explained gently, like he was coaxing a child, intentionally ignoring the way your face scrunched up at what he said. “I did my research, ok? Everyone only has high praises for him, both on and off set. Isn’t that enough to be trusted?”

You bit your tongue to stop yourself from digging a deeper hole to lie in. The answer was no—it wasn’t enough to be trusted. Now, at this point, someone would’ve had half the mind to ask why you were so sure about your vendetta against the man. If a person was so well loved in a world where cameras were pointed at them in every waking minute, then shouldn’t all the dirt be found by now, if there was any?

To that, your answer would be yet another no.

Because you knew Kim Seungmin. You knew how life functioned despite the cameras. And you knew that it was harder to keep a good shot hidden than it was to delete a bad one.

“Turn the car around.”

Changbin’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets at your demand. Surely, he had heard you now. You crossed your arms and leaned back to rest comfortably on the carseat, turning your head to face the window and glare at the world outside, continuing on with their lives like a well-followed routine.

“Y/N, this is a big opportunity—”

“I said, turn the car around. I’m not attending this cursed table reading,” you pinched the bridge of your nose to keep the incoming migraine at bay.

“You really think I’ll willingly step into a room with the devil’s incarnate? I’d rather get shot—”

“—sensing a great shot!”

Director Han Jisung nodded positively at your performance, satisfied with your initial portrayal of the female lead.

“If we keep going like this, then I’m expecting this project to be a big hit. The casting team really did their pay’s worth on this one,” the young director hummed. “Especially you, Actor Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how they managed to get through your company's walls, but I’m glad they did. You’re perfect for the role!”

You felt your eye twitch as the figure bearing the name appeared within your vision. His mouth curled up into an arrogant smirk, hastily covered up by a bashful smile. You cringed at his actions that only you seemed to see. Why was this prick acting all humble?

“Ah, I always wanted to act in one of your films, Director Han. This is more of an amazing opportunity for me than you, honestly.”

That smoothed honey voice wrapped itself around the room’s premise, charming everyone around like it was coming from an alluring siren. All except you.

Your mouth filled with a coating of spite as his next sentence echoed through your ears. His eyes locked you in as a target, a wordless challenge shooting straight at your own.

“Plus, seeing who my co-star is, I’m quite thrilled to see the end product,” Seungmin grinned with a manic glint.

Fuck. You should’ve turned that damned car around yourself.

mastertag 🔖— send in an ask if you want to be added ! 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @djeniryuu @lixxpix

[lalasworld2x]

Brahms x Reader Headcanons

This takes place after you find out he’s a grown man lol (but you don’t kill him of course)

• There aren’t any romantic feelings at first just because you’re still interested in Malcom, but you can decide if you guys have a falling out or if you just lose interest lol.

• It might take a bit to convince him to do house chores as well, as he’s lived his whole life in the walls and just has the mindset of “people have always done it for me, why stop now??”

• If you ever get mad at him, he’d probably try and finish all the house tasks before you get a chance to just so there’s now a reason for you to not be mad at him.

• He still likes to stay in the walls quite often, like a safe space for him.

• At the start, he used to get really overwhelmed by being out for so long, so you’d sit and comfort him for as long as possible. This just made him fall for you harder.

• He loves to cuddle in bed. He’s been touch starved so long, he just wants a warm bed and a warm embrace for hours on end ☹️💔

• Sometimes the closeness is never enough for him, like he just needs to be as close to you as possible. It’s not enough until he is literally molding into you, like angler fish lmao. If this makes you uncomfortable, he will back off but it will be a bit hard for him.

• He can definitely be demanding and sometimes very selfish, you may unfortunately have to still treat him like a child. I bet naughty corners would still work tbh… make sure you set clear boundaries and speak up for yourself.

• Although it’s definitely understandable if you were afraid to stand up for yourself, we already know he’s willing to hurt you and those that you love just to make sure you’d stick around.. I’m not gonna lie, it would actually probably be helpful to learn at least a bit of self defence in case he ever does try to put his hands on you. I’m sure even being strong enough to hold him in a head lock would scare him enough to back off and respect you more.

• This man does not gaf about body types or anything, he loves em all! Lean, muscular, chunky, curvy, slender, average- anything and he loves it!! He just wants someone to take care of him

• His immune system would probably be on the border of decent and not very good. He’s lived his life in the walls which is certainly not clean and nurturing space, but he also hasn’t really gotten out enough to get sick or hurt himself. Obviously he had a life before being forced into hiding, but he did spend like a decade tucked away. Would probably help you to get him vaccinated lol. ANYWAYS my point is, he might get sick fairly often, especially if you do actually start bringing friends and family over and you get to have an actual job. He would LOVE to have you coddle him. Tuck him right into bed, make him hot soup, coo over him, etc.

• Just because you would hate to be stuck at home with him all day I’m sure, you set some boundaries and convince him that he will be okay if you apply for jobs or go out to get materials and such for your own job if you work from home. And you should absolutely have the right to bring friends and family over now that he’s no longer a doll. This might upset him for a while, but you both come up with ways to make this arrangement comfortable for you.

• He compliments you all the time. You makeup, outfit, hair, posture, ideas, expression, the way you look when stretching or exercising, your interests- anything and everything!

• He will make small crafts for you as gift, mostly paper. He may even learn some origami for you with a book he found. He’s a bit shy when gift giving so he’ll leave it in a spot he knows you will find it and go somewhere else to hide and watch your reaction.

• He might be a bit shy to try new foods, but if he knows that you really enjoy them, it might encourage him a bit. He would love to indulge in your own culture more, so he would be less timid about trying traditional foods from your cultural background!

———————-

I know this one is kinda shit, I was struggling to think of things that I haven’t already seen other creators write before and I did NOT want to steal peoples ideas 😭😭

Masterlist

[animeyanderelover]

May I request Chuuya, Dazai, Kageyama, Tendou, Yuuji(jjk), and Urie with an s/o who has social anxiety. Happy new year 🎉

Tags: @naeho @flaming-vulpix @shumidehiro @leveyani

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, protective behavior, clinginess, isolation, manipulation, threats, co-dependence

S/o has social anxiety

Kuki Urie

🖤He knows that it’s very much wrong to feel this way but Urie can’t stop himself from enjoying your social anxiety at times. He’s someone who wants to be useful to you, mainly by protecting you and making you feel safe and that is what ends up happening due to your fear of interacting with others. You tend to stick close to his side since he’s your boyfriend, let him do most of the talking when someone approaches you two and are very skittish when you’re left alone, terrified that someone might try to talk to you since your nervousness shows. This gives him a lot of control and power in the relationship, something that isn’t healthy, yet even if Urie knows that, at times it just gets to his head. The problem is that even if he tries to encourage you to be socially active, you often just run back to him when you’re too scared.

🖤The way you clutch his hand in your own sweaty palm and hide behind him always shatters his rational side telling him to have you adapt a bit better. How couldn’t he when he sees you shaken to your core? Slowly he starts resigning himself to the new role he has to take as your boyfriend and soon he starts liking it. Sure, it’s unhealthy and your borderline co-dependence on him is toxic but you seem so much happier and at ease with the way things are right now. You’re feeling good and protected when he’s with you and that’s all Urie really wants. He reacts slightly aggressive when his own Squad points out that your relationship isn’t really healthy even if a part of him silently agrees with them.

Tobio Kageyama

🌧️Poor boy is a bit overwhelmed with his darling but he really only wants the best for them. Unfortunately his good intentions can come across as very overbearing most of the time. He’s just very protective of you due to your fear to speak with other people and the fact that you come running to him so often since you’re more comfortable around him, Kageyama also ends up getting the wrong idea. He’s not really letting you leave that much without him because what would happen if you’d end up needing his help with something? Worst is that you would rather prefer being with him.

🌧️You feel so much more comfortable when he’s with you since he can just take over the socializing part for you. It becomes such a routine for him that at one point he low-key normalizes it without fully acknowledging that you should require some help. Even if his friends tell him that he should help you with your problem instead of coddling you by doing what you want to avoid, he just can’t deny you the moment you become anxious in public. He’s too protective to see you struggling like this. No, instead he starts turning angry when someone starts making you uncomfortable, even if they had no bad intentions at all.

Satori Tendou

❤️Tendou finds himself stuck in a bit of a moral dilemma when it comes to his darling. On the one hand he also feels a very sick enjoyment by having you rely on him so much but he also understands that your social anxiety is a hindrance since social interaction is unavoidable, no matter how hard you may try. It isn’t really healthy. Obviously he helps you when you struggle which oftentimes just ends with him doing everything in the end as you end up feeling too embarrassed and nervous, hiding behind his tall form. It’s very hard forcing you into something when you’re shaking, have clammy hands and keep on looking at him for reassurance. Honestly, at times he just scares some people away with his creepy looks when they make you very visibly anxious and don’t seem to have plans to leave anytime soon.

❤️Satori is still doing what he can to help somehow since he knows that you yourself are sometimes frustrated because you just can’t hold a normal conversation and ask for help. To not push you into cold water right away though, he starts by having you around Ushijima and the other volleyball players in his team. They’re quite a chaotic bunch so he deems that if you’ve gotten used to them, being around others should be easier. He’s also trying to take you out more, although he never leaves your side once. All his good intentions aside though, sometimes Tendou feels insecure about himself too. When that happens, your clingy behavior and reliance on him is reassuring and he’ll even encourage it to feel better about himself.

Dazai Osamu

🤎I don’t think that you’d be much surprised to find out that Dazai would love this a little bit too much. You’ve just given him the golden ticket to enable him to do what he wants. It isn’t hard to notice that you struggle enormously with social interactions and this gives the man a great idea on how to manipulate you and make you dependent on him. All he has to do is get close to you and then worsen your already anxious condition to have you fully rely on him. As soon as you have opened your heart for him, he starts spreading his poison. Always taking over in public, something you tend to let him do very gladly. After all it spares you all the potential embarrassment and struggles to speak up.

🤎Just like that he coaxes you into letting him handle everything which worsens your social skills and makes you all the more bashful and nervous when he isn’t with you. You find yourself unwilling to leave the house much if Dazai can’t be with you since you’ve grown too accustomed with him being the one in charge. Your avoidance of social events leads you to spend a lot of time with Dazai at home and he mostly doesn’t mind. Sometimes though he craves to see you all anxious and nervous, struggling to speak to strangers and ultimately hiding behind him. It’s adorable~

Nakahara Chuuya

🟠Little, aggressive man here only grows easier irritable with someone like his s/o. Chuuya is a very protective man so he can not bear to see you as scared and nervous as you often are. Technically he knows that the other person mostly isn’t at fault, he’s aware of your social anxiety. He just can’t keep his temper though, especially if you look at him with those frightened and pleading eyes which make his heart burst. Your social anxiety and his easily trigger-happy temper make for a very bad combo in public so Chuuya spends a lot of his time with you inside his house where he knows that you feel far more comfortable.

🟠He feels great seeing you far more happy and comfortable, so much more loving now that you aren’t a nervous mess. A part of him still knows that this isn’t healthy and that he probably should help you. He does try at times, takes you outside and encourages you to interact with the people on the cash register or with the waiter/waitress ready to take your order. Such attempts often end up with him doing everything in the end though. He’s initially always a bit disappointed, clear by the small sigh he gives, but it’s all forgotten when you break out of your shell and shower him with affection at home.

Itadori Yuji

🩷Yuji is a supportive boyfriend so he’d definitely take it upon himself to help you with your social anxiety. Sure, sometimes it’s cute when you squirm nervously behind him but he knows that social interaction is important. He himself is socially very active and loves to take you outside for dates as well and whilst he doesn’t mind staying at times home with you, he eventually grows bored. Now, Yuji doesn’t expect you to be the ultimate social butterfly but he wants to reduce your anxiety of talking to strangers and your refusal to ask questions when you need help. If you’re too uncomfortable starting with total strangers, he just asks his friends and his sensei to help you a bit out of your shell. Nobara says that she thinks it’s a bit ridiculous but ends up being the one most supportive out of his teammates anyways.

🩷Mainly because she thinks that Megumi is too gloomy to be much of a help and Gojo…well, is Gojo. He visits the same shops and places with you so you grow accustomed to the staff and the people working there, encourages you to speak up for yourself. The pink-haired boy never leaves you alone though so you always have a feeling of reassurance by having him next to you. It’s really sweet, he praises you and compliments you when you do manage to speak up for yourself and showers you in little kisses but also isn’t disappointed if you can’t do something. He’s celebrating even the small steps you take but don’t worry, if it’s too much he’s there to take over for you.

[strwbmei]

Hi Mei, Can I ask a relantionship hcs sfw and nsfw for Aponia with a gender-neutral if possible, please? You are free to ignore this if you like

pairing(s): aponia x gn!reader

contains:

Aponia HCs

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Aponia was really hesitant to get into a relationship with you at first. She's seen many horrible things happen to those that she loves, and she knows better than anyone that she can't do anything to change it. Still, like a moth to a flame, she can't help but find herself drawn to your radiating warmth. Perhaps this time, she deserves to be selfish.

: ̗̀➛ The Deep End is a cold and dark place— one where normal humans most likely wouldn't be able to survive for more than a few days. Because of how long Aponia has isolated herself in it, her body has learned to adapt, lowering its temperature to match its environment. She can also see in the dark much better, which is pretty cool.

: ̗̀➛ Because of this, Aponia would always shy away from your touch. Believe me, it was much to her annoyance, but she had grown insecure about being so cold (literally and figuratively) and she didn't want to scare you away with it. She was especially hesitant to hold hands because they were the coldest part of her body, but she learned to be more comfortable over time.

: ̗̀➛ If the two of you have a disagreement (which is near impossible, by the way; my girl Aponia can never be wrong,) it's really obvious to everyone else because of how weird and aloof she acts. For example, she barely ever leaves the Deep End, but suddenly you'll find her in the lobby drinking with either Elysia or Eden with a somber look on her face; sighing every few seconds and completely ignoring Elysia's bombardment of questions. The Flamechasers find a great deal of amusement seeing how you're so easily able to influence a woman usually so dangerous and cunning.

: ̗̀➛ Expect her to be the more dominant one in the relationship, taking the lead and making decisions (with your input too, of course!) because she's used to being the one giving orders. Despite that, though, she's actually really inexperienced with relationships so it's more of a team effort; the team consisting of you, Aponia, and Elysia because she helps you get through to Aponia more and somehow manages to offer the best relationship advice.

: ̗̀➛ Aponia doesn't really get jealous, at least at first. She got upset, but she used to have the mindset that if you like someone else more, you should simply choose them instead and she'll accept the decision you make. Over time, she grows to be more greedy and possessive of you. Because of this, she really appreciates it when you give her reassurance that you're hers and hers only even when she doesn't ask for it.

: ̗̀➛ When Griseo started calling you Mama/Papa, Aponia almost shed a tear. Griseo is almost like a daughter to her, and hearing her call you that only further solidified the fact that you were the person she'd want to spend the rest of eternity with.

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ First of all, set a safe word. Seriously. Her libido is low, but every time the two of you have sex it always ends with you not being able to walk for months. Set a safe word if you value your life or if you don't want your pelvic bone to get turned into dust like actually. I'm not exaggerating; this woman goes rough.

: ̗̀➛ That doesn't mean that she means to, though. She's a gentlewoman at heart, but being surrounded by people like Kevin and Kalpas for most of her life has skewed her perception of an average human's limits. She's more of a soft dom if anything; you ending up with your legs shaking is already her being gentle.

: ̗̀➛ Remember how her hands are the coldest part of her body? Yeah, she's definitely taking advantage of that; cruelly tracing your body with her hands and making you tremble and whimper from the sheer temperature of her fingertips. As serious as she appears, she can be quite the tease when she puts her mind to it.

: ̗̀➛ Has a huge thing for dacryphilia. She was absolutely terrified the first time you started crying during sex thinking that she hurt you, but ever since you quickly explained the real reason and assured her that she did nothing wrong, she's made it a goal to make you cry from the pleasure. Did she really do a good job if you aren't a sobbing, shaking mess by the end of it?

: ̗̀➛ She doesn't have a specific preference for positions, but she hates it when she can't see your face. Aponia is the type of woman who thrives off of all of the small reactions she coaxes out of her partner. Blindfolds are definitely on the table, though— maybe it's her sadistic side, but she just loves seeing the fabric dampen with your tears...

: ̗̀➛ Aponia is really into body worship. It doesn't matter whether she's on the giving or receiving end of the deal, she loves the intimacy of the whole thing. She'll literally leave her marks and kisses on every inch of your body, and she expects you to at least try to do the same for her. This often leads to a lot of marking for both of you, though...

: ̗̀➛ For your own good, don't make her jealous. She's a patient woman; even more so with you, but if you upset her like that on purpose? Say goodbye to your ability to walk, speak, or think. Once you can speak again, make sure you give her tons of reassurance because that kind of stuff really upsets her. The idea of you with someone else gets her blood boiling.

[lavernius]

Locus as a metaphor for colorism/racism

Some people were interested in this take so I'm going to go over it really quick. I am brown, a lot of the experiences I talk about here are lived (and a lot of them I experienced from this fandom, ironically enough). Warnings for discussion of racism and colorism + abuse.

Don't be weird, keep it civil! I'm not telling you what to think I'm just giving my two cents as a person who has experienced all of this.

Note: I don't think RT intentionally did any of this because they couldn't even treat their real life employees of color well so I don’t trust them with a character of color LMAO. “Colorism” is specified here because being brown affects every part of life in a way that's difficult to explain if you haven't experienced it firsthand.

Locus experiences very true aspects of real-world racial profiling: he's a big, dark-skinned, reserved brown man who is heavily demonized—both by the narrative/show AND in-universe. The fact that the “scary” merc of the duo is the one who was confirmed brown in 14 is likely colorism on RT's part, yes, but it doesn't change that Locus is painted as an aggressive monster canonically (a common stereotype of brown men, and a cause for code-switching in many POC). He's a monster, a dog, a weapon, a machine—all words that are used to describe him in the show, some he even uses on himself. Obviously not words you should be applying to a brown person good lord!

Locus’s apathy isn't inherently part of him. Maybe he wasn't always kind or gentle, but he was forced into a violent situation and TRIED to stay empathetic, wanting to spare his enemies at times, before he was forced out of the mindset—something that still bothers him to this day, even if he's repressed it! Brown people commonly have mental health issues and trauma that doesn't get addressed because of cultural expectations and medical racism, to the point where a lot of our cultures normalize very unhealthy behaviors. More of a stretch, maybe, but it reads like racial trauma if I ever saw it (and I have). Specifically because:

Felix sees him starting to lose his empathy, which is VERY BAD for Locus’s mental health, and takes advantage of it to use Locus as something of a “guard dog”. Erm, white people benefiting from racism and colorism? White people forcing stigma on brown people to gain power over them? What a surprise!

On the note of Felix: while Santa’s reveal that Felix is afraid of Locus can have several meanings, a lot of them can still lead down a road of (abusive) racism. He's scared of Locus because he's a “merciless killer”, isn't the same person he used to be? Who caused that, I wonder? Scared because if Locus found out he was being manipulated he’d immediately abandon Felix? Yeah, because he's being manipulated and abused, of course he’d leave… if I found out I was being manipulated by a white man I'd be uncomfortable too! Victim blaming is EXTREMELY common with racist white people because there is POWER in being white and blaming the brown man.

I like to see Locus’s divorce from his given name and visage as a symbol of cultural isolation. POC are so frequently made victims of identity crises because we’re expected to conform to a white world, whether we try to be white people or try to be what white people expect us to be. The latter in Locus’s case—they want a violent brown man, they have one. It keeps him alive at the cost of taking his sense of self away. He's safer as Locus, the armor, than he is as Ortez, the person.

There's not like, canonical evidence I can point to, but Locus feels like a catch-22 of “I want to be angry that people see me as a monster for being brown, but if I’m angry they’ll see me as a monster because I am brown”. It's a cycle that's hard to escape because when you ARE a righteous brown person who wants to be angry because the world has hurt you, it's so easy to paint you as an animal.

Um the fandom is extremely racist to him in ways I don't think they're even aware of. He's got it all! Fandom whitewashing and stereotyping and sexualizing and demonizing, people shipping him with a white person who hurt him (because a brown person cannot be hurt by a white person without SOMEONE wanting to forgive the white perpetrator for it LMFAO, many such cases where it’s done for the sake of shipping too), performative diversity and a lack of actual depth in his culture bar the fact that he speaks Spanish and has a Hispanic name…I don’t even think the guy who MADE him gives a shit that he’s brown (past it giving him brownie points) and how it affects him. Yeah who’s surprised. (EDIT: did not know Miles was mixed, but POC are still capable of colorism, etc. I still think Miles, as a lighter skinned person, doesn't fully comprehend how Locus being dark plays into the dynamic/Locus's character as a whole. Still, entirely my mistake.)

So basically: brown guy gets dehumanized, white guy takes advantage of it, systemic colorism and stigma helps white guy get away with it, brown guy is alienated from himself as a result and thinks he genuinely is a monster because everyone treats him like one. I see myself in him as a brown person who has experienced colorism for having low empathy and not connecting with society. It's awesome.

He is a textbook traumatized brown guy. He's got internalized racism/colorism. He's going to meet other brown people and unlearn it. He’s going to connect with his culture again. He’s going to realize he never owed the white man power over him just because he was convenient to control. He's going to be okay!

No thanks to RT because they couldn’t write a good brown guy if they tried + it falls on us brown people to give coincidences this kind of personal meaning. LOL

Next week (not really) I get into how Lopez is an incredible accidental portrayal of alienated brown people who have pride in themselves and want justice for being mistreated all the time.

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter Part 6

Tenison was high in the dining room of Grimmuald Place as the Black brothers stared one another down. Regulus knew that part of Sirius's anger was because he thought he had lost his child to his brother, much like when they were young, and their parents favored Regulus over him. But this was Sirius's own fault; Ali had tried even after she had been hurt that Sirius went to Harry first. Sirius could not get over the fact that Ali was close with the Malfoys and had taken to projecting his anger to the only person who would love him more than anything if he tried.

Sirius wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was jealous of Regulus. He always had been, but coming back from the hell he had been trapped in to find that his own daughter had chosen his brother over him hurt more than any torture he had ever faced. Regulus had always been the perfect child who everyone adored. He had gotten fewer beatings as a child than Sirius, had gotten better grades in school, and now was considered a dad to Ali. It was only natural for Sirius to go back to what he did during his school years and focus his attention on the people who showed him attention. Harry was his godchild, but Harry also had no one else, meaning Sirius didn't have to worry about being replaced. Sirius also felt awful for the events that transpired the night of James and Lily's deaths and was trying to make up for it.

"If you just gave her a chance, you may find she is much more like you than you think." Regulus sat at the table again, watching his older brother run his hands through his hair. "She is so headstrong and stubborn that I know it revivals yours. And I cannot express enough how she just wants to be good enough for you to love, much like how you tried for years with Mother."

Sirius sighed in defeat, regrettting the painful things he had put his daughter through. "I do love her. I just…."

"Are shit at showing it. I saw the look in your eyes when Ali called me dad; I know that hurt you. But instead of talking about it, you just lash out at her or me or Remus, making it seem like you really don't care at all. I never tried to fill that role in her life. I was and will always be Uncle Reg, and that is fine. Do I see her as my child and love her like my own? Yes, absolutely. I will do anything for her, and if that fills that role as a father, I will. But I don't want to take that from you. You had so much stolen from you in your life, Sirius: your childhood, your parents, your best friend, 12 years of your life. The last thing I want to do is take more away, but I cannot and will not put you above her. She deserves so much in this world, and you should help her get it. We both should. But the question remains: will you put aside your 'every Slytherin is a Death Eater' mindset to do so? Because people have changed and we are close to the Malfoys, Notts, Parkinson's, and the Zabini's. They are not the same people anymore. Things have changed in the war; sides have changed. But you haven't. Ali is loyal to a fault and is a great judge of character; she won't betray the Order, nor will the others. Just give people a chance, Sirius."

"I did give people a chance, and it…..it got my best friend and his wife killed. We trusted Peter. I trusted Peter enough to have James make him the secret Keeper. It got them killed, and he was our friend. How am I supposed to trust that Lucius Malfoy has the Order's best interest at heart when my own friend of 9 years didn't?" Sirius started pacing before his brother. His head is cloudy in memories, tears blurring his eyes as his best friend's dead body flashed in front of him. "I know that I'm shit at showing Ali I love her, and part of it is because I'm scared to get close only to lose her again to someone like Lucius Malfoy. I owe it to James to look after Harry, but that doesn't mean I don't love him like my own because I do. But I love Ali just as much, and I know she has you, Remus, and even Snivillious to love her. And I want to try to improve things with her; I just don't know how. How do I fix what I've done, Regulus?"

Regulus caught the double meaning to his brother's question, "You can't. Sirius, you can't fix what happened to James and Lily. You can't fix how you've treated Ali so far."

Sirius felt his heart crack at his brother's words. He had hoped to get Ali back, but it seemed he had gone too far. He started for the stairs when Regulus continued.

"But that doesn't mean you can't fix it from now on. You can't change the past and bring James back, but you can make them proud by loving and protecting Ali and Harry. I mean, yeah, they don't get along now, but I think part of that is because he has seen and heard how you and James treated outsiders. I know they used to play together as babies, not that they would remember it, but Remus told me. Tell how close they were till everything happened, and bring them back together. Stop being afraid of losing Ali to someone when all everyone wants to do is love her and keep her safe. And maybe you don't trust Lucius or the others right now, but I trust them more than Dumbledore most of the time. And you should talk to Moody about the help Lucius has given the Order even if he refuses to say he has aligned himself with us." Regulus held his brother's shoulder, "Give them a chance. Don't let the other kids make remarks about Ali and her friends. Talk to her. I wouldn't start trying to act like her father, but maybe a friend? Or a really distant uncle. You'll figure it out, Sirius; you're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Sirius followed his brother up the stairs, going to bed with hope, lighting a flame in his heart for the first time in years.

Days following the talk between Regulus and Sirius, Ali noticed that the golden trio had become slightly nicer to her. She does not make as many comments about her or her friends. She had no idea what was happening but wasn't going to complain. Regulus had come to her that morning telling her that he thought it a better idea if Blaise came to their house instead of her going over there. He believed it would show that the Slytherins were not as bad as all the others thought.

At first, Ali was hesitant about the idea. Still, after being reassured that Remus would be home as well as Regulus, Ali agreed. The thought of Blaise being at her house surrounded by her tormentors made her sick to her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to run away for a few days, but that ship had sailed, and it was only hours before Blaise arrived when Regulus called for 'those who live in this house meeting.' By the time Ali had gotten dressed and cleaned her room, everyone was already in the kitchen since it seemed to be the usual gathering place for the group. She straightened her sweater and did a quick glance down to make sure her outfit was still okay. It was slightly chilly in the house, so she had gone with a Bulgarian Quidditch sweater that was mainly red with black details and a pair of cropped black leggings with matching fuzzy socks. She and Blaise had already decided to stay for most of the day and then go and get dinner somewhere in Diagon Ally so she could change later. Remus and Regulus walked at the same time as Sirius and Harry.

"I'm assuming everyone is confused about why this meeting was called," Remus started. "There seems to be an assumption that Slyertians and those associated with them are all Death Eaters or traitors."

Scowls had overtaken most of the younger one's faces in the room, as well as Sirius's. Ali looked at her uncle, trying to figure out where this was going. She knew the reason was to inform everyone that Blaise would be here for a few days, but there was something else going on; she could feel it.

"After speaking with Dumbledore and getting his permission, not that I technically need the permission as it is my house, but nevertheless. A few individuals will be coming to stay here for the upcoming days, and there will be a couple of visitors as well." Regulus's eye caught Ali's, and gave her a wink just as the sound of footsteps entered the foyer. Ali was too short to see over everyone's heads to see who was there, but from the looks on a couple faces, including the elder Weasley, it was someone they were not fond of.

A flash of white hair caught Ali's eye as the group entered the kitchen. Her mouth dropped in shock as she took in her uncle Severus, leading the Malfoys, Blaise, and Theo towards Regulus and Remus. Cissa shot her a wink while Draco eyed Harry and Sirius up and down; Blaise kept his eyes locked on Ali, and Theo thoroughly enjoyed the shocked looks from the Weasleys.

"Sorry, we're late. Draco took too long in the mirror this morning," Severus said. Draco glared at his Godfather before continuing on with his glare at Potter.

"Well, allow me to introduce everyone. This is Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, which I'm sure almost all of you know. This is Blaise, Theodore, and Draco. Narcissa and Lucius will be in and out for the next bit trying to get caught up on Order business while the latter three will be staying here for a bit." Remus shook Lucius's hand before joining Dora beside Ali, who was bouncing on her toes, overly excited at the fact that it was going to be back to normal in the next couple of days.

"You can't be serious. They are staying here?" Sirius exclaimed, running his hand down his face before glaring at Lucius. "I still remember what you did, Malfoy."

"I don't often agree with Sirius, but Dumbledore said this was alright?" Arthur asked. Ali knew that the Malfoys hadn't been the kindest to the Weasleys in the past, and she felt sorry for them in that aspect, but Lucius was not the same man as he was during her first year. And Narcissa wouldn't hurt a flea.

Remus stepped forward again, "He did. Narcissa and Lucius will be helping with some scooting missions that are coming up since they know that area of town better and are considering joining the Order. The three brats are mainly for Ali, though."

"Did you miss us short stack?" Theo opened his arms for Ali, who jumped straight into them. Theo gave her a twirl before pulling on her braid. She barely had time to catch her breath before Draco had her spinning again and tickling her sides, making her squeal.

"Of course I missed you! What kind of question is that?!" Ali giggled before hugging Blaise despite her uncle Remus glaring at them. Blaise took her hand and gave it a squeeze when they parted before facing the other children in the room. Theo and Draco took the opposite sides of Ali, showing a united front against the ones who had been horrible towards her.

Ali was ecstatic that they were going to be in the house more. Maybe her summer wouldn't end so badly. Sirius was shocked that Dumbledore had cleared this and even more shocked that Lucius would help the Order. He did not trust him and would go on those missions even if he had to go as Padfoot. This was outrageous and downright stupid, allowing death eaters to snoop freely in the Order business. Looking at his daughter, he could see how happy she was to be surrounded by her friends, but he also knew that he would have to keep a closer eye on her than he already was. He had asked the trio to play nice so he had more people watching her. He did trust that she was a Death Eater, and now he was surrounded by them.

"Al, Kreatcher sat up extra beds in your room for the boys. Pansy should be joining later, but she had something come up with her grandfather. Her mother said she would owl when she was on her way." Regulus leveled each of the boys with a look. "You lot know the rules. I don't care if you have fun but clean up after yourselves, and don't be too loud when it gets late. Curfew is at 10pm and no later. If you are leaving the house, go in pairs at least and let one of the adults you know be aware of where you're going. You lot know the food is fair game, and Kretcher has already been instructed to grocery shop more often. The house is also fair game, but be respectful, please."

"Don't worry, Uncle Reg. I'll keep them in line," Draco smirked at the other three before Severus whacked him upside the head.

Ali turned and looked at the younger swarm of redheads and others in the room. She cleared her throat to get the attention on her, which made her take an unconscious step back toward Blaise and Draco. "Everyone, this is Theo, Blaise and Draco. I'm sure most of you know this, but just in case. You are welcome to join our fun, but we get if you don't want to." Ali pulled the boys out of the room after greeting her aunt and uncle. They sat on the living room floor with wizards, chess, and a few other games while a movie played in the background. Kreacher brought out snack trays for them, and the laughter was music to Regulus's ears after all the quiet he'd heard from Ali this summer.

Ali could feel the stares from those around them, most directed at Draco and her. She could see the disbelief every time Draco laughed or made a joke. This was the side of Draco that was rarely seen by others. An hour had passed before a chess match went on between Draco and Ali. Blaise sat to one side of Ali, and Theo was in the middle of her and Draco, watching the death match continue.

"What dare shall I have you do this time, Als" Draco taunted her while he moved his piece. It was an ongoing rule that when she and Draco played wizarding chess, the loser had to do a dare of the winner's choice. It was always a toss-up in who won, as both were incredibly good at the game.

"Don't think too hard; I wouldn't want to overwork that one brain cell of yours." Ali stuck her tongue out at Draco when she stole his knight.

Draco was about to reply when a shadow came over the top of the board. Looking up, there was the eldest two Weasley children and Fleur. Ali could see the hearts in Theo's eyes before she kicked him in the shin. "She's engaged, you idiot."

Bill and Charlie chuckled, "We saw you guys playing games and were curious if we could join you? I have my board and thought we could do a little tournament."

Charlie held up his chess board. The teens all nodded, and with a snap of his fingers, Charlie's board was all set up. Bill took one side of the board before looking at Theo. "You up for a challenge?"

Theo crawled to the opposite side of the small table. Bill made the first move, and the game commenced. Charlie and Fleur took seats around the rest of them and started trash-talking with them, too. Charlie was on Ali's side, whereas Fleur took Dracos. Regulus, Molly, and Narcissa looked around the corner and had smiles spread across their faces at the sight they saw. It wasn't the younger kids trying to get along with the others, but the eldest and Molly knew that her children all looked up to their brothers, so maybe there was hope in this crazy plan after all.

[kurain-genealogy]

i said i was gonna post about it and i am. i don't think william afton hates his kids. i don't think william afton is a mad scientist that kidnapped and put children in hallucinogenic gas chambers. whatever the fuck dittophobia said about afton doing all that, plus not stopping/furthering the bullying between michael and cc, is just dumb & wrong. william wanting his kids to fight, even die, is comically evil in the "bad writing" way. him being characterized as someone who experiments on children (including his own with no regard for their lives) in order to achieve immortality or whatever his supposed motivation is, is just really... nothing? as a character there is nothing to make him feel real. in an attempt to flesh out this character, they made him into a cartoon villain with "evil" being his only defining trait. whatever, i could talk for so long about how dumb i think all the dittophobia stuff is but i think most ppl on tumblr are on the same page regarding that.

to me, william afton is best characterized as someone who, at the Very Least, Doesn't Want His Own Children To Die. he can be a shitty father all around, or he can be a genuine loving father who is also a serial killer, as long as he Cares if they Die? most of what makes william afton an interesting villain, and where a lot of people interpret his motivation comes from, is how despite all his best efforts, he cannot prevent the death or downfall of his own family. he is in a tragedy of his own making, a self-imposed hell crafted by his hubris and violence. if you take this away, why should i care what happens to him? william afton was scariest when he was just purple guy and we knew nothing. william afton is most interesting when we have all these relationships and dynamics where we can seriously study and speculate the circumstances behind/around his actions, when he has something to lose (and will lose). william afton is most stale when more things are added to his story without purpose, filling in gaps that were better unfilled or we didn't even know were there – anything after UCN, basically. bro isn't scary anymore because he's either peepaw afton who's brought back despite his story being over, or he's cartoon network's newest over-the-top villian that you can't take seriously.

okay anyway. ANYWAY. william doesn't hate his kids. even if he's a shitty father, i think he still loves his kids. why else would he try and scare his kids away from the robots if he didn't want them to die? why would he design circus baby after his daughter if he didn't care for her, adore her, even? if you believe the theory that he talked to cc through the fredbear plush (idr if that's actually canon), why would he be trying to protect/comfort him?

i don't think he's a perfect, or even a good father, by any means. if you interpret him to be on the better side, that's great and fine. i'd love to hear how other people interpret/characterize afton if you wanna share! continuing on for this post, i'm going to lay out how i personally see william afton.

to me, he is someone who is very concerned and preoccupied with his image and how others view him & his family. even if he's super shitty and awful towards his kids, he at least cares that they all look good as a family unit, that they're well behaved, that he can send family portrait holiday cards to all his business partners and investors.

he strikes me very much as the typical authoritarian parent of the 80s. harsher on his sons because "men don't cry," wants his kids to say "yes, sir," and "no, sir," believes in "tough love," often says "my house, my rules," he has the final say in everything, maybe thinks hitting them from time to time is a normal, necessary punishment. not all entirely malicious, but thinks he's doing what's best, what's right, acting like a parent and father Should act, perhaps how he himself was raised. unfortunately, a very common parental mindset (even outside of serial killers). maybe he was a little scarier sometimes though, a little more unhinged or violently angry. who's to say.

but he's still just a guy who could exist in real life. he still eats dinner with his family every night, hangs his kids' drawings on the fridge, had to turn the car around because they wouldn't stop fighting in the backseat, attended awkward parent-teacher conferences, everything. he was once a new father who happily came home with his first newborn, lost countless nights of sleep over the course of two more, loves them because they're his.

meticulously and senselessly killed children, then came home and tucked his own into bed and kissed them goodnight.

he can be abusive and still love his kids. he can be a murderer and still care for his own kids' lives. maybe the loss of his own kids is what triggered his actions, or maybe it was something else. i'm fine with not knowing because we don't need to know everything, and it's more interesting when we don't.

Something Is Seriously Wrong With This Guy And We Don't Know What or Why. when acquaintances find out he's a suspected murderer, it should be shocking and upsetting. he's such a great man and father, he wouldn't murder those kids! when michael discovers his father's crimes, he should be in denial. sure, he could be scary sometimes, but he wouldn't kill anyone... right? there's a great cognitive dissonance between who he appears to be and who he actually is.

whether william descended into grief-induced madness and obsession, or was just always some kind of freak, or both, i don't think he saw his own family as disposable. even if he didn't truly love them, he at least needed to keep up his own facade as a friendly family man. personally i like to see him as someone who was a shitty father but still loved his kids, because people like that exist, and it makes him a much more interesting, realistic, and nuanced character than if he just didn't care about them At All.

[buddiesmutslut]

Hot Take

BUCK IS THE BEST PERSON TO GIVE DATING ADVICE TO CHRIS, HEAR ME OUT.

Okay, I know we're all laughing about women fleeing Buck and how awful he is at relationships, but I don't feel like that's true.

First of all, just because a relationship ends, doesn't mean that it FAILED. Dating is as much about getting to know YOURSELF, what you want out of a relationship and what your own boundaries are as it is about getting to know the person you're dating. It's about growing, and learning from your mistakes, and I feel like Buck HAS done that. I'm not saying he's a perfect dater (the Taylor/Lucy thing, wtf was that?) but also, he has gotten better.

With Abby, he grew from fuckboy Firehose to someone that is considerate and thoughtful to his partner. (I don't LOVE that we credit Abby for his growth, since he was the one that made the initial boundary to not meet up right away because he didn't want to fall back into that sleep with anything that moves mindset, but she is mostly credited with it canonically, so we're going to use it.) Also, she didn't leave because Buck was a bad boyfriend or anything. She left because she needed to find herself after her mom died, and that's it.

With Ali too, she left because of his job, because she couldn't handle being with a first responder, which is a genuine concern for a LOT of people. It's hard to love someone with a dangerous job like that, and not know if they're going to come home at night. It had nothing to do with who Buck was as a boyfriend.

With Taylor, that whole relationship was a mess, IMO, them getting together when they did was a recipe for disaster. Obviously, Buck shouldn't have asked her to move in because he was scared to tell her about Lucy, but I'm not saying he's a PERFECT dater, I'm saying he's learning, and that's what's important. When he did admit to the kiss, Taylor is the one that decided that it wasn't a hard line for her, or she would have broken up with him, living together or not. It probably would have been awkward and complicated, but it was all of those things when they DID break up later in the series. From this relationship, Buck learned that it's better to be alone than it is to be with someone for the wrong reasons.

He has had a lot of growth from s1 to the end of s6, and that is clear in his dating.

Now, everyone that's saying Eddie should go to Bobby or Chim for advice, I'm going to say this: It's easy to date when you immediately find the person you're going to marry.

Let me be clear, I'm not saying that Madney & Bathena don't have their own struggles within their relationships, but Bobby and Chim got pretty luck, they found women that they clicked with and then eventually fell in love with almost as soon as they went looking.

When Bobby decided he was ready to move on from Marcy, the ONLY person we actually see him dating in the show is Athena, and they end up married.

After Tatiana leaves Chim, and he decides that he's going to be himself and look for a genuine connection, Maddie is conveniently placed in front of him.

I'm not saying that either of them are bad daters, or bad partners or anything, but we don't really SEE them date. Maybe it's because they're older and they already know what they're looking for and what they can and can't accept in a relationship, but realistically, it's wild to think that you're going to fall in love and get married to the first person that you find when you start dating. The majority of people have to date around and actually look to find the person they're meant to be with, not magically find them right out of the gate.

Especially for a FIRST first date, it's all about figuring out how dating works, what is and isn't expected and acceptable and navigating getting to know a new person, as well as yourself, and I think Buck is the clear best option when it comes to experience about women. He's had several girlfriends and also convinced only God knows how many people to sleep with him, so he's obviously charming, and pleasant to spend time within a romantic situation.

Also, God knows nobody is asking Eddie for dating advice, since the man only married his girlfriend bc she was pregnant and then had to be told (BY BUCK) that he deserved to be happy in a relationship instead of sticking it out for everyone else.

Anyway, this has been on my mind ever since that interview came out with everyone making fun of Eddie for going to Buck because he's had (based on what we're reading about Natalia's character) 4 "failed" relationships, but again, I truly believe that a relationship ending does not automatically mean it failed.

Also, Eddie goes to Buck because they're CO-PARENTS & SOULMATES but all of this other stuff too 😂

[emidealia]

☆ how to LOVE YOURSELF more, what you need to hear ☆

hii beautiful! welcome to my pick a picture tarot reading. <3

this is about advice you need to hear to get it together and what is blocking you. self-love and improvement.

i used tarot, oracle and intuition.

take with you what applies, leave the rest.

trusting your intuition pick a picture. top row 1, 2, 3, lower row 4, 5, 6.

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile number 1

Right away i see you need to trust your intuition more. You have trouble making decisions because of your role, you put others before you and that is what’s blocking you. It’s hard because others depend on you and obiously you have more pressure on you, also making you overthink and stress over decisions.

I sense the solution lies in being patient with yourself, don’t rush, don’t be scared of being selfish sometimes. There may be underlying insecurities stopping you from believing in yourself even.

But remember you are constantly attracting your desires and abundance. The universe has your back, don’t be fearful of being driven away from your dreams. There really are no wrong choices, different paths of course but it’s always what you make of what you have, if that makes sense. Trust the process and everything is happening as it should.

There are secret beginnings waiting for you and you will be in aligment once you learn to be more confident in your own mind, being aware of your needs and opinions and of course trusting your intuition. I feel there will be someone who will teach you more about your gut feeling. Have an awesome life love!

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile number 2

It seems you have frustrations and delays in your life, misunderstandings or struggles in communication. All of this affecting your mindset. But these things are happening because of your past, maybe even karma from ancestors. There are some lessons you’ve had to learn the rough way but now you’re having a tough time coming out of this loop of feeling bad and lazy and manifesting more of this.

This is about manifesting, attracting and perspectives. Thing that has helped me in these situations is saying affirmations, doing boards on pinterest about my goals, working out or being in nature- find out what gives you energy. But what drastically helped me was admitting the fact that if you can change something, there’s no reason to whine about it, change it. if you have no control over a situation, there’s also no reason to make yourself feel shitty, you need to move on.

It’s time to take your life into your hands again, in reality you live only for yourself. You cannot ever feel whole or satisfied by getting validation for having a shitty life. Strength, the sun and healing cards came up so you will most definitely come out of this slump and have more you could have wished for. You literally can manage!

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile 3

Wow you remind me of pinkie pie from my little pony haha sorry, i mean it in a good way. Immediately i felt an energy boost, and so many thoughts all at once.

You are such a life force, bundle of joy in people’s lives, you may not believe it though. At the moment are you overworking or just in a materialistic mindset?

Something happened, at school, work or in relationships, a conflict that has caused you much stress, because you feel you were a victim at defeat and you revisit this situation over and over. You may feel incredibly guilty for not having done better or having stood your ground. This is temporary. Four of pentacles show that tough times are over and you have recently or will find a position more stable and satisfactory. But it’s needed to rethink your plans if things got off to a false start. Turn to the joy and success you already have in your life as this will help you find relief, hope and accept the past.

A change might be needed. Don’t be so stubborn and want to have it all at once, you need to be grateful and appreciate your efforts. A big transformation, an end and a beginning coming your way in career matters. Keep your strength but get more in touch with your spiritual side. Grounding yourself, meditating.

Consider what helps you on your path and any issues that hold you back.

Even I keep coming back to your reading thinking aah is there anything else I could've done or said, but really it's time to make plans for moving forward and finding joy in the now. Let go, accept the past in order to move on.

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile 4

How can you love yourself more honestly, truly? Being mindful of your actions and communication with yourself and others especially. I feel like you may not have noticed the importance of beautiful connections to people, nature, art… Or how you interact with others through your platform, art, music or just conversation. There may be something off on your part. Do you tend to be a bit… something.

Find your silliness and honesty when expressing yourself to be more relatable, honest and to live in connection. You don’t have to seem perfect or have it all to be worthy of friendships, partnerships, connections in general.

Live in the moment. We really are all on our own paths and through vulnerability giving advice and receiving guidance is part of life. It’s not that serious.

There may be a partnership incoming with ace of cups and ace of pentacles being next to each other. Also a love, devotion, romance card. Whatever form this may come in, it’s a blessing most definitely.

Truly accept yourself in order to make meaningful connections and move forward in your career-hobbies and also in romance.

I’m hearing you do have a gift of expression, public speaking or art. What is it that you admire about others that do the same? Who inspires you and why?

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile 5

For you the path for healing your heart consists of inspiration to be in love with life, desire to be softer, get in touch with feminine energy. Be kinder and more honest to your mind, body and soul. You do deserve to be living your dream life and it will happen, it really really will.

There will be a lesson moment before the sun can shine, but this is a cycle of nature, destroy and repair. You are such a kind being and i feel for once you need to accept support from others as well.

You also will be exploring a bit in terms of what is right for you, what hobbies give you energy and motivation, it may be about people as well. Having this powerful joy in your day-today routine will provide you with more clarity and it’s a way of self care and healing.

Also, you have been desperately trying to find love, hoping it will heal you. Excusez-moi for such and overused comment but, extremely important you love yourself before loving anyone else. Give yourself love not because you have to but want to. Be sincerely kind towards yourself <3

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

pile 6

Take time off. Might have to delay something, postpone an event, plan. You may feel without support at the moment, but it could be more of an attitude than reality. Either way this is a time to focus on your well-being and confidence. It’s a good thing really.

You seem happy, you have it all and you feel unstoppable. You quite literally do and this is a divine plan, it is about your soul gifts and destiny. Your projects and relationships are flourishing.

There is a possibility to take the next step towards your dreams, a decision, moving or taking a risk in career. Also new amazing partnership may come in with good advice and love.

So this is really about stepping into your confidence, being refreshed, trusting your abilities. The high priestress card. Trust your own counsel. The blueprint is within you. You are 100% worth it but you must believe it too.

★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★★--★

love you! proud of you! have yourself a cosmic week!

[taystarotoverload]

how to properly heal

~ my comeback post !! please pick one pile :) ~

———

pile 1

the magician - queen of wands - the high priestess - 10 of wands - 9 of pentacles - 10 of cups - 4 of cups

really quickly my lights flickered extremely fast that may or may not be a sign? pile 1 you are a very resistant group at times. you WANT change you WANT to move on from this and get better but there’s fear. there’s a sense of anxiety when it finally comes to actually changing. you are a very strong pile mentally but your battle cry is terrifying. i see you may be someone who carry’s a lot of burdens and for a lot of you i’m seeing this being from family. lots and lots of family trauma in this pile. pile 1 you are a very psychic pile as well. speak to the universe. let them hear what you really want don’t hold back. you can receive anything you want. but? take that brick off your chest. untie those sandbags that weigh down your shoulders. you didn’t put them there in the first place so WHY should they stay? some of you may be sooo scared of spending too much money. go on a shopping spree. go crazy. text up an old friend. one you haven’t talked to in a while. text a grandparent of yours. they would love to hear from you right now. pile 1 you’re very resistant right now but you know if you move on your life will become better. so why are you holding back? don’t let this life changing moment go away. snatch it up. don’t let it go. it’s meant to be yours so let it be yours. if you look away from this you won’t see another just as amazing as this one. pile 1 you want to properly heal? change how you live. life feel like it’s repeating? don’t let that make you lose your sanity. one small thing you change day to day will make you feel human again. pile 1 i’m seeing that if you just change how you live for yourself and not for others you could heal. smoother and more balanced. you will come out of this feeling like you’ve accomplished more goals in your life then ever before.

(as i’m typing this i saw 222. this is a sign.)

pile 2

death - the emperor rev - 2 of pentacles - 3 of pentacles rev - the star rev - the chariot - 7 of swords - 10 of swords - queen of wands - 2 of wands - ace of wands - temperance - 2 of swords

getting rid of old habits. i heard old habits being people. getting rid of things that no longer serve you for good. finding balance in your day to day life with things you ACTUALLY enjoy. you’re too bored constantly. you feel so slumped and angry and bored because your environment is just one big dump. get out of there fast! go outside go see a friend go out to eat. do something other than being THERE. (this can also refer to thinking differently. get out of that gloomy mindset. think about things that actually matter.) you feel so tired right now. go get that rest. you’ve been sleeping too much? get up and do a walk around wherever you are. stretch your legs. pick up the things in your life that offer you a good future full of abundance and clarity. leave what DOESNT!!!!! oh wow some of you really need to kill of that old you. the death card and ten of swords are screaming START OVERRRR. really think this time. what do you want to do with your life and how do you want to live it? where do you want to go in the future and what will you do to reach those goals? the universe is offering you out a hand an offering. take this as a time to really sit and think. think about yourself. you’re mostly in a battle with yourself at this time. it doesn’t have to stay this way forever. start living a life where you’re in control and not living by others rules. you’re in control. take back the life you always deserved to live.

pile 3

4 of wands rev - 5 of swords - knight of swords rev - knight of wands rev - death - page of cups rev - 6 of cups rev - the moon rev - 6 of pentacles - 7 of wands rev - 8 of cups rev

soooo many reversals for this pile o.m.g. pile 3 not even a hug can fix your wounded heart. lol in all seriousness. pile 3 recently you’ve been in a LOT of conflict. and some of you hate to admit it… you’re the ones who start it a lot of the time. this doesn’t mean you WANT conflict hearsay. but you are someone who is a force to be reckoned with at times. take what i say personally because this is a biggggg wake up call to some of you. there are people in your life who love love love to see you fail. they crave the validation of watching you mess up in life. don’t believe me? how many so called friends actually are worried about how YOU feel? if you haven’t been able to open up with somebody due to fear or someone’s lack of interest they are NOT your friend. they’re an energy vampire. get rid of these people immediately. you may also experience a lack of focus recently followed with extreme frustrations. do some shadow work. why are you feeling these emotions? they’re not just showing up out of thin air. where are you when you feel these emotions? at home ? with a friend ? at work ? etc. what is happening in this setting that is making you feel such frustration? somebody talking too loud ? a loud chewer ? or just merely being there in the first place ? figure out what this reason is and try to understand it. maybe if your willing copy that thing. does it feel good to do? or does it only make you angrier? a lot of you cannot move on and properly heal because you’re stuck in the past. something has hurt you in your past badly but you can’t seem to let it go. you feel fearful? you’re very similar to pile 1. you’re afraid of change? some of you have become very very comfortable in this dark part of you. you’re afraid of leaving this headspace because you’ve lived in it for so long. start giving to others more? ask people how they’re feeling and about their day. soon enough you’ll see a change. more interactions less frustration. but don’t just ask other people, ask yourself. how are you feeling today? are you comfortable right now? what are you feeling is yummy for lunch/dinner? etc. do NOT by any means get up and walk away from this. you are capable of becoming that desired you. don’t let these thoughts interfere with your way of life; you are worth it.

[aishangotome]

Ellis Twilight: Chapter 1

What is happiness?

It's like the twilight sky that changes color immediately after the moment it's imprinted in your eyes...

It never lets go of your heart, but you can never have the same thing again.

Time, stop - so that this happiness doesn't fade away.

-

(Starting today, I'll be living under the surveillance of the people from "Crown," the assassination organization that uses evil to defeat evil.)

(As a "Fairytale Keeper," it's my duty to record their sins - and my only lifeline.)

I get ready in front of the mirror and pump myself up.

(To be honest, I'm scared to witness "sin" again...)

(But I've handled customer complaints at the post office and deliveries in hectic situations like a demon.)

(It's okay. I'm sure it'll be fine.)

Kate: Just one month. I can do it, I can do it... Okay!

I chant it to myself like a spell, open the door, and take a step forward with momentum -

-

???: Whoa!

Kate: Kyaa!?

I bumped my nose right into the chest of someone standing in front of my room.

Kate: I-I'm so sorry...!

Ellis: I'm sorry too. ...Does it hurt?

(Ah...this person--)

Last night, I found out the secret of "Crown," the assassination organization directly under the Queen...

*last night*

Harrison: ...So, what are you going to do, Victor, after explaining it so thoroughly?

Victor: Hmm...let's see...

Ellis: Should we kill her?

(Eh-?)

Ellis: She doesn't seem happy at all, but I'll do it if it's a job.

*back to present*

(He's the one who immediately suggested killing me.)

(But after that...)

*earlier*

Ellis: I'm Ellis.

Kate: Ellis... Nice to meet you.

Ellis: Yeah... Nice to meet you too. Jude and I are often out on assignments,

Ellis: But while I'm here, I'll try my best to make you happy.

*back to present*

From the same mouth, he casually said a line like a proposal... A bit of a strange person.

(Why is Ellis in front of my room...?)

(Ah, that's right. The surveillance has already started.)

If I make a mistake, I might be killed.

Remembering the fear I felt last night, my back straightened.

(I can't be in the same mindset as my everyday life.)

(I've already stepped into a different world.)

Kate: Ellis, right? It's nice to meet you from today onwards.

Ellis: Yes, Ellis Twilight. Nice to meet you... You don't have to be so stiff.

Ellis chuckled lightly and peered at my face with concern.

Ellis: ...Your nose is red.

Ellis: I'm sorry. I was just about to knock when the door opened, so I couldn't avoid it.

His slender, long arm held the door.

Beyond his tousled hair were eyes the color of twilight, just like his name.

I gasped at the unexpectedly close distance and hurriedly apologized.

Kate: No! I'm the one who's sorry for rushing out with too much energy.

Ellis: Energy? Why?

Kate: Eh!? Um...

("I was psyching myself up because I was scared of living with you guys.")

(I can't say that...)

Kate: It's like being transferred to a completely unknown department, so...um...

Kate: It's like, "Go, go, go!" kind of feeling...!

Ellis: Go, go, go...

Ellis blinked in confusion.

(T-that was too unnatural...)

Ellis: ...You're a cute person.

Kate: Um...you don't have to try to cover for me...

(I should be glad I was able to make an excuse, but somehow I feel really embarrassed...)

As I looked away, searching for a place to hide, Ellis, back to his serious expression, whispered.

Ellis: Kate, I want to ask you for your first task in this "new department"... Is that okay?

-

Kate: –Wow...

(What a beautiful garden.)

I was led to the courtyard of Crown Castle, where a beautifully manicured English garden spread out.

Seasonal flowers were blooming in profusion, and it smelled as good as paradise.

(Last night, I only felt the solemnity and danger of the towering castle...)

(But there's such a peaceful place here too.)

Admiring the beautiful garden, I followed Ellis along the path and saw a gazebo.

On the table, tea and scones were prepared as if a tea party was about to start.

Ellis: Please.

Kate: Huh... Ah, thank you.

I hesitantly sat down on the chair Ellis pulled out for me, and he also sat down on the opposite seat.

(He said he wanted to ask me for a task earlier, but...)

Kate: Is this where I do my first task?

Ellis: Yes. ...Your first task is to have breakfast with me.

(...Huh?)

Ellis: Tell me about yourself while we eat delicious food. I'll tell you about myself too.

Ellis: If you record that, it'll become your report as a "Fairytale Keeper," right?

Kate: That would be helpful, but... wouldn't it be a bother to you?

Ellis: I don't think so, but why?

He seems to be genuinely trying to cooperate with me.

Ellis: I'll tell you about the other Crown members too.

Ellis: I think it's a little scary to live among people you don't know at all.

Kate:...!

(Could it be that this "first task"...)

Kate: Did you invite me to ease my tension?

Ellis: ...A little bit correct.

Kate: "A little bit"?

Ellis: It's also for me to talk to you...so a little bit incorrect.

A faint smile appeared on his lips.

(I wonder if my first impression of Ellis last night was a misunderstanding.)

Just being near him, my body temperature seemed to drop, and I felt like something was peering at me from a gaping darkness - I was sure I felt that uneasiness last night, but...

(I don't feel that uneasiness from Ellis in front of me.)

(Maybe it was because I had just seen a murder scene.)

I gently pushed aside the discomfort that I was sure had arisen in my chest and chose not to see it.

-In hindsight, that was a mistake.

(Anyway, since Ellis went out of his way to arrange this for me...)

(I'll take him up on his offer and hear all sorts of stories.)

Kate: Thank you, Ellis.

Ellis: It's nothing to thank me for.

Ellis: Do you like sweets? This is the scone Victor baked this morning.

Kate: Eh? Victor cooks...?

Ellis: Yeah, it seems to be his hobby. Al is also good at cooking.

Ellis: I learned how to make clotted cream from Al before, and I prepared it.

Ellis: Liam recommended this jam and bought it for us.

Ellis: Maybe because he's a stage actor, he's knowledgeable about trends.

Ellis: This meat pie is from a restaurant Roger took me to for lunch before. He often treats us.

Kate: W-wait a minute. I want to write down what you just told me...!

I took out the notebook I had in my pocket, and Ellis told me all sorts of things about the Crown members.

Kate: Ah, I know this apricot crumble shop too! There's usually a long line, isn't there?

Ellis: Harry and I lined up to buy it. Harry has a sweet tooth, despite his appearance, and he loves delicious sweet shops.

Kate: Hehe... Everyone in Crown seems to get along well.

(I thought they were like people from another world,)

(But they're just normal people living in the same London... I feel a little relieved.)

(Thanks to Ellis.)

With a smile on my face, I spread cream on the scone in my hand.

Ellis: Kate.

Kate: Yes...?

Quite naturally, Ellis's large palm stretched out towards my face -

Ellis: ...Cream is about to get on your hair.

Kate: Eh? Ah...

(He's right, I didn't notice.)

Ellis scooped up my hair with his fingertips and gently tucked it behind my ear.

Kate: Thank you.

Ellis: You're welcome. ...Was it delicious enough to make you lose yourself?

Resting his cheek on his hand, Ellis smiled at me.

Kate: ...Yes, it's delicious.

Ellis: I'm glad.

(To be able to do something like this casually, Ellis...he seems popular.)

Realizing that he's making my heart flutter, I try to calm my racing pulse.

Kate: Preparing this table for me, being so considerate...

Kate: Why are you so kind to me?

(I don't remember doing anything to deserve such kindness from Ellis, especially so soon after yesterday...)

Ellis: Kate, you've had an unhappy look on your face since last night.

Ellis: I want the people around me to be smiling as much as possible.

(Is that all...?)

(I'm just a stranger to Ellis.)

Kate: Do you do this for everyone? Even strangers?

Ellis: Huh...? Yeah... Is that bad?

My simple question seemed to make him confused.

(Ellis really is a bit of a strange person.)

(But...)

Kate: ...I'm happy.

(It's true that Ellis helped me feel better.)

Ellis: I see... I'm glad you don't mind.

By the end of the peaceful breakfast, my vigilance had completely faded.

Ellis: Is theater your hobby?

Kate: Yes. Actually, last night, I even took on an unfamiliar night shift just to earn money for tickets...

Ellis: Hehe... You're quite passionate.

The conversation with Ellis never seemed to end, as if we were friends who had just met.

Then, another set of footsteps echoed.

Victor: Well, well, you're having a lively time!

Ellis: Victor.

Kate: ...! Good morning.

Victor: Oh, you don't have to stand up! I don't intend to interrupt your pleasant conversation.

Victor: Ellis offered, so I left breakfast to him... Has your tension eased a little?

Victor smiled genially and looked at me as if trying to gauge me.

The shadow of unfathomability I felt from him last night had faded, and I felt warm concern from his jewel-like eyes.

(Maybe it's thanks to the enjoyable "first task" with Ellis that my tension has eased.)

Kate: Yes. Thanks to Ellis and the delicious scones Victor baked.

Victor: ......

When I smiled in gratitude, Victor seemed a little surprised.

But soon, he broke into a bright smile like a blooming flower.

Victor: Yes, yes. Your relaxed smile also says, "I'm so happy to be the exclusive Fairytale Keeper for Crown!"

Ellis: ...I didn't say that much, did I?

Kate: ...Hehe.

Victor narrowed his eyes, looking at me as I shrugged my shoulders slightly.

Victor: Now, I asked you, the Fairytale Keeper, for two things. To keep secrets and to record sins.

Victor: The former is fine, but I thought you might be confused about what to do for the latter, so I wanted to explain a little.

Kate: Yes, please do.

Victor: It's not that difficult. Observe the people of Crown carefully and write down what you feel is a sin.

Victor: I'll leave the method up to you.

Victor: You can observe multiple people on a rotating basis, or focus on one person and accompany them in their actions.

(Observe the members of Crown carefully, the means and the person are up to me... I see.)

Kate: Understood. ...Um, to what extent am I being monitored?

Victor: By monitoring, I don't intend to restrict your freedom of action except for going out alone.

Victor: I may ask you to accompany us on missions, but you are free to spend the rest of your time as you like.

I'm a little relieved because I thought I would be under stricter surveillance.

Kate: I understand. Thank you for the explanation.

Victor: ...To be honest, I was a little surprised just now. I didn't think I'd see your smile so soon.

Victor: We showed you a terrible scene, and we're an evil organization that can't say "don't worry."

He winked playfully, then narrowed his eyes as if looking at the dazzling sunlight.

Victor: I hope the darkness that you will inevitably be exposed to from now on won't take away that smile.

The words he said strangely didn't seem like a lie.

(The people of Crown are definitely dwellers of darkness, terrifying people who don't hesitate to kill.)

But - I felt that if I looked deep down inside, there were feelings that I could understand.

Victor: Well, I'll excuse myself. The Queen's aide is quite busy.

As if he had only come to check on me, Victor left without sitting down at the table.

(To record sins, I first need to observe the people of Crown carefully.)

Then - I want to get to know Ellis better first.

That feeling arises quite naturally.

Kate: Um, Ellis... What's your schedule for today?

But my question is interrupted by a threatening voice.

Jude: Ya' have work ta' do. What are ya' slackin' off for? I'll beat ya' up.

Ellis and Kate: !

We both jump up at the harsh voice.

(This voice is--)

I turn around fearfully and see Jude standing in the garden, arms crossed, looking irritated.

(H-he's angry...!)

Ellis: Sorry, I'll be right there.

Ellis answered without standing up, calmly looking at Jude.

(So casually...)

Jude clicked his tongue and immediately turned away, leaving.

Ellis: ...As you can see, that's my schedule for today.

Kate: You work at a trading company, right?

(Jude is the president, and Ellis is the assistant to the president... right?)

(I thought I'd observe Ellis, but maybe I should do it another day.)

Kate: Thank you for taking the time for me. Good luck with your work.

Ellis: ..............

Ellis stared at me, lost in thought -

Kate: Um?

Ellis: If you'd like, why don't you come with me?

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Chapter 2

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