#if u break ur laptop how am i gonna visit you >:

[soft-spooks]

me when lemondrop <33333

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it’s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[juderoths]

what’s poppin , el here. i’m 21 & from the uk.  i go by she/they. this shit got erased cause my laptop died so heres a shitty summary i’ll write a better one someday i apologise in advance. but anyway heres my himbo child,  J U D E  &  if you would like to plot with him, give this a like.  tw  for  abandonment  &  learning  difficulties

⌜ZETHPHAN SMITH GNEIST, CIS MAN, HE/HIM⌟ welcome to chatsworth academy, JUDE ROTH. it says here, that you are TWENTY, in SECOND year and that you’re here for your ATHLETIC skills? is it true high school you were voted most likely to WIN THE LOTTERY AND LOSE THE TICKET , well, that’s interesting.╱ awkward love poems scribbled on toilet paper , late night phone calls with his family after feeling homesick , a bin full of energy drinks ╳

STATS

full  name  :  jude  roth

age  :  twenty

hometown  :  berlin  ,  germany

gender :  cis  man  -  he / him

sexuality  :  heterosexual

BACKSTORY

karl zimmerman met eudora roth on a business trip while she was waitressing yada yada yada. BOOM. dating. then BOOM babies. specifically : jude & mona.

KARL IS A MAJOR DICKHEAD. turns out the dude was already married with kids. and also richer than he made out. eudora found this out and went to his wife with this. as you may have guessed, both women dumped the man on his ass. don’t let the door hit you on the way out, karl. hate him.

eudora, the angel that she is, let him visit for mona’s sake cause she was a lil baby gremlin at the time. but nooooo mr business is everything over here had to go fucking ruin things again. he stopped visiting, he stopped the money. he fucked off like the lil piss baby he is.

money was tight for ages after this. his sister was often sick and constantly in and. out of hospital. his mum was working relentlessly. jude was struggling with dyslexia. but the three of them had each other. it wasn’t much but they loved each other SO fucking much.

fuck school. that’s all i’ve gotta say. being a kid with learning difficulties at a shitty school is never fun. but sport helped him through that a lot. he felt his PE teacher was the only person who hadn’t given up on him yet. 

college was out of the question for him in his mind. he’d pick up some job somewhere, probably at the local tech store fixing phones. he didn’t see himself making any money doing sport which SUCKED ASS. but, he’d rather help out at home than waste money on some degree that probably won’t mean shit cause the unemployment rate is so high for graduates.

but by some miracle, a rep of chatsworth was at one of his football games at school and he was approached with an offer. what jude didn’t know was that his lil piss baby father was the one that arranged it, cause the bitch felt guilty. the dude he swore he’d never get any help from getting into a prestigious college. not a dick move, but also dickish at the same time

don’t get me wrong. jude felt like a fish out of water his entire first year at school. it was only at his mother’s insistence that he accepted.

I HAVE PLANS TO FUCK THIS UP THO. turns out his half siblings also go here. basically their mum was a model & karl had become a CEO eventually. so obviously they got in. he didn’t really talk to them in first year so didn’t know them. but jude doesn’t know they’re his siblings but they’ve recently discovered that they’re his siblings. and they know about their father’s role in getting him in. it’s all very confusing i know. i like convoluted plots like that.

EXTRAS & HEADCANONS

you can find his pinterest here & playlist here (will put in links later cause neither is finished)

my guy is a soft jock himbo with slight fatherly abandonment issues. he doesn’t like to admit how much it affects him. just wants to prove he can do shit without help ya know. 

fluent in both german and english, but speaks with a berlin accent

no common sense

honestly just wants to chill 

bin is always full of energy drinks

he’s on the football team and on the runners

surprisingly good with tech. will fix ur phone if u need it. when u break ur phone like three times a week it comes in handy

he’s a hopeless romantic. will write love poems at 3 am on toilet paper cause he’s misplaced actual paper

has always had an unhealthy obsession with parkour

calls his family up at least once every couple of days

hufflepuff. nuff said.

CONNECTIONS

gonna keep this short and sweet cause i’m a broken human being right now, but i’d love to see like his number one ride or die, best friends, crushes (dude loves people), unrequited CRUSHES cause i’m an evil bitch like that, sport team mates, someone who tutors him, frenemies, enemies (maybe in the form of elitists at the school) tho he tries to keep it to none if ya get me he doesn’t like having enemies what’s the point why not get along, comfort buddies, buddies that just comfort and shed tears together (he makes for a great cuddling pillow), and of course, his half siblings cause i’m a sucker for pain. but, honestly i’m open to anything you throw my way. 

@chatsworthinfo​​  

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (16) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: it’s been almost FOUR MONTHS what the fucking fuck?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i’m so so sorry for my absence, i really have no excuse apart from work and life getting in the way. this chapter was a fucker to write but i hope it doesn’t disappoint! as always i would love for u to tell me if u enjoyed either on aq or on my blog. p.s. i am so excited i get to write chapter 17 now. GET EXCITED for that one xoxoxox

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: the least romantic of Valentine’s Days ever saw Brooke regretting cutting ties with Vanessa and Nina misguidedly breaking up with Monet. Scyvie stayed cute and unproblematic xoxo

this chapter: for Scarlet’s birthday she is gifted: a lie in, Yvie acting incredibly suspiciously, and a girlfriend-serenading plan worthy of a rom-com.

***

Scarlet woke up with an excited tingle in her tummy, a rush of adrenaline forcing her eyes open. She blinked one, twice, had the ever-familiar confusion (Am I waking up in my flat or Yvie’s?…Mine.) and then chastised herself for still feeling like a child on Christmas Eve on the 26th of February each year. Laughing to herself as she rubbed her eyes, she supposed she couldn’t help it. Scarlet loved her birthday- as vain as it sounded, it was a day all about her, and as someone with the friendship anxiety she had it was always nice to see how much her friends cared for her. Sitting up and stretching, she remembered all the birthdays that had come before- being little and tearing down the stairs at home, her feet skiting over the Mr Sheen-ed floorboards and running into the kitchen to see all her presents piled up on the table and her Mums there ready to greet her with a cuddle and a ridiculously big birthday badge. With a twinge of pain, Scarlet remembered the birthday she’d celebrated in her first year of uni- no night out, she hadn’t had enough friends to assemble for that, just her and another girl she’d befriended who later dropped out of uni altogether watching films in her room. That was all behind her now, though. She had the girls, her second family, and they’d made every birthday since as special as the ones she’d had when she was a kid.

Grabbing her phone, she smiled to see that it was already blowing up with messages. She supposed she wasn’t surprised- it was already 11 o’clock in the morning, and most of the world had woken up. Scarlet had been lucky enough to have her birthday fall on a Sunday, and that meant no uni, no obligations, and no alarms. She read over the two texts she’d got from her Mums, both of them crying over how they couldn’t believe she was 21 already. Scarlet supposed it was easy to lose perspective at uni- she was the last in their group to hit that big milestone, save Yvie of course, and it had seemed like she’d been waiting for ages. But to her Mum and her Mam, she was their little baby that had somehow grown into an adult without much time seeming to pass at all. Pausing, Scarlet texted them both back with a similar number of crying face emojis and kisses. She would go visit them next weekend.

On the group chat, celebrations had already kicked off. The group dynamics were weird these days, Scarlet supposed. Nina was unusually quiet, not her jokey and upbeat self. Still, Scarlet could understand that given what had happened with her and Monet. She was one of the rare few that had actually been able to hear both sides of the story- Vanessa explaining the situation to her after lectures one day having heard it all from Monique and Yvie telling her everything that Nina had told her- but Scarlet still couldn’t seem to get her head around it. How could it be, she wondered, that two people could have been less on the same page? Monet ready to make things official with Nina and Nina, scared and paranoid and convinced of Monet’s infidelity, ending things to protect her own feelings. Except nobody’s feelings had been protected at all, Scarlet had sighed to Yvie one day, as both girls were heartbroken and pining for each other but neither were sure as to how to go about mending things. With a pang of sympathy, Scarlet realised it had been two weeks to the day since they had ended things. She knew it would have made the poor girl feel worse if she’d revealed what she knew- that Monet had been about to ask her to be her girlfriend- so Scarlet had kept quiet, figuring that Nina was probably heartbroken enough for now.

Vanessa, on the other hand, couldn’t have been in a more different position to Nina. Every time Scarlet saw her she would be ready with a new story about something hilarious Monique had done, or something funny she’d messaged her, or something she’d done that had made Vanessa “go all heart eyes” (to quote her directly). Scarlet was happy for Vanessa- she knew that the two girls were spending time together and getting to know each other (and, thanks to what Vanessa told her in completely unnecessary detail, knew they were at it like rabbits), and it was exactly what Vanessa needed after all the drama with Brooke.

Before Scarlet could think about Brooke’s situation though, another message came through on the group chat that distracted her enough to scroll up and read all the others.

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: IT’S INTERNATIONAL SCARLET ENVY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BDAY HOE!!!!!!

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Woooooo!!!!! Happy Birthday Scarlet we love you!!!

cursed satnav voice: BITCH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! Hope you have the best day, love you so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

okay then: aaaaaaaaah happy birthday Scarlet!!! 21 at last!!!!!

cursed satnav voice: Why is she not ANSWERING??????

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: Yvie’s offline too……

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ENJOY THE SEX BITCHES

Maple Syrup: Can confirm they’re not fucking

Maple Syrup: Yvie has an essay due she’s not started so Scarlet never stayed over

okay then: thank u to our reporter in the field, Ms Brooke Lynn Hytes

Maple Syrup: I’m here to help

Maple Syrup: also Happy Birthday Scarlet!! Hope Yvie spoils you rotten xxxxx

Scarlet’s Bitch: ur all filthy animals i was getting a coffee

Scarlet’s Bitch: ready for crying breakdown number 2 of the day

Scarlet’s Bitch: i would absolutely not rather be with my incredibly fit, funny, gorgeous girlfriend

okay then: keep that gay shit off the chat

cursed satnav voice: Yvie!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are so cute i s2g

okay then: vanj don’t encourage them

cursed satnav voice: Allow it hoe!! I got dumped, I’m allowed to be mushy

Scarlet’s Bitch: oh, did Monique end things?

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ASDFGHJKL YVIE I LOVE U

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

okay then: omg

cursed satnav voice: On God I will leave this chat again!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarlet allowed the crazy replies from her friends to pour in, Brooke notable by her absence in the melee. Despite everything, Scarlet had to feel sorry for her. Yvie had told her in complete pain-of-death secrecy that it sort of, maybe, might have been the case that Brooke regretted breaking up with Vanessa. Brooke hadn’t exactly said that to Yvie, but she knew it was heavily implied, and even if Brooke didn’t know herself then Yvie sure as hell did. Scarlet had rolled her eyes at first and complained about how idiotic Brooke was being but when she actually really thought about it, she could see Brooke for what she really was- scared, unsure and full of doubt, unaware of what her feelings even were. In all the time Scarlet had known Brooke, she’d never been in a relationship, which made Scarlet wonder if she’d ever had one in her life. It was strange how people could be so different. Back in High School Scarlet always thought relationships were as simple as two people liking each other, kissing and then deciding to be together. But nothing was ever as simple as that. Sometimes they started out as friends and had to jump that platonic hurdle, like her and Yvie. Maybe everything started out great but ended up getting messy even though the two people probably loved each other, a la Monet and Nina. Sometimes the two people just never put a label on it (Plastique and Ariel). And other times it was a complete clusterfuck. Like Brooke and Vanjie.

Watching as the girls all teased Vanjie and Brooke’s silence became louder and louder, Scarlet decided that now was probably the time for her to break the ice.

Yvie’s Bitch: AAH sorry i just woke up!!!!! Thank you guys, I love you all sososo much!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

cursed satnav voice: xxxxxxxxxxx i wish we were all going out tonight :(

Yvie’s Bitch: I know, downside of a Sunday birthday!! We could do something else if anyone’s free during the day though?? Snacks and movie?

cursed satnav voice: Sorry bae I’m gonna be in the lib :(

large incongruous silkworm spiced praline: SORRY ANGEL MY FAMILY’S DOWN TO VISIT

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: Sorry baby I’ve got dance class

Scarlet frowned, trying her best not to be disappointed. Yvie was still making her a nice dinner at her flat tonight, and they were going to go and see a film even though they hadn’t decided which one yet. It would still be a good day. Even if Yvie had been acting a little weird recently- shielding her phone, closing her laptop quickly if Scarlet came into her room, seeming secretive. It was probably nothing. Scarlet was probably being paranoid as a result of everything that had happened to their friends recently. Yvie still told her how much she loved her every day, and made her laugh, and smiled at her in a way that made Scarlet feel like she was the most beautiful creature on earth.

As if on cue, her phone lit up as the selfie she and Yvie had taken on top of the big wheel at Christmas filled the screen. Smiling as she swiped across the screen, Scarlet held the phone to her ear. “Hey, you.”

Yvie’s voice had a hint of playfulness to it as she answered. “Hey. Y’know, I feel like there was something important today that I totally forgot, can you help me out?”

Scarlet laughed, leaning back in bed and keeping up the charade. “Oh shit, is it not that essay you have due in about 40 minutes?”

“No, that’s pretty much all I’ve been able to think about all day. And it’s definitely going to be handed in late.”

“Meh. Better late than never. Is it, uh…some sort of Saint’s Day? There’s fucking hundreds of those.”

“No, see I don’t think this has anything at all to do with Saints.”

Scarlet laughed, giving a gasp on mock-irritation. “The fuck’s that meant to mean, you bitch?”

“Well for one, I don’t think Saints squirt when they-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Yvie!” Scarlet screamed, giggling as she cut her girlfriend off. “Where the hell are you?!”

Scarlet could practically hear the nonchalant shrug Yvie gave. “Library cafe.”

“You’re such a tit.”

“Mh. Prefer yours. Happy Birthday, by the way.”

Scarlet caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, smiling like an idiot at nothing. “Thanks, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too. So what’s your plan for your big day?”

“Shit all, to be honest, although I’ve been stressed out my mind all week about that group project I had on Friday so that’s probably for the best,” Scarlet blew air through her cheeks, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

“Sounds good,” Yvie replied, Scarlet only the slightest bit let down by the fact her girlfriend didn’t pick up on her mood at all. “Hey, I’ve got a plan for you if you want it?”

Scarlet’s ears pricked up as she absent-mindedly fiddled with the studs she had in her ears. “Okay?”

“Well, I’ll probably be back at the flat around…one-ish? So you can come see me then. But can you do me a favour, girl? Phone Nina?”

Scarlet crinkled her nose up in confusion. “Uh, sure, I can do that. How, uh. How come?”

“Because I’m getting more and more worried about her with every passing day and if she kills herself in the flat we won’t get our deposit back. That’s a joke of course, but in all seriousness I am worried about her.” Yvie reeled off in her own deadpan way, then lowered her voice. “I just got the weirdest look from this boy that just walked by me.”

“He probably thinks you’re fit.”

“He probably thinks I’m criminally insane after that sentence. Does that sound okay, though?”

Scarlet was a little confused by the whole request. “So you want me to just phone Nina? What do I say it’s about?”

“I don’t know, say you want to do something for your birthday and ask if she’s free. Just something to get her out of the flat for something that isn’t a lecture.”

Scarlet shrugged. “Okay, I can do that.”

“Thanks, baby. I’ll see you later, okay? Come by about one. I love you.”

“Love you too. See you later,” Scarlet replied, Yvie hanging up the phone first. Scarlet frowned, blinking. There was something entirely weird about the whole conversation, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She rubbed her forehead. She didn’t want to entertain any thoughts of Yvie acting suspiciously, not after the breakdown of two relationships now in the friendship group, so without stopping to let the dam break in her head and for all those thoughts to flood in, she dialled Nina’s number. It rang twice before she picked up.

“Hello?”

Scarlet raised her eyebrows in surprise. Nina’s voice was a lot chirpier than she’d expected. “Uh, hey Nina. It’s just me.”

“Hey, Scarlet! Happy Birthday!” the girl’s voice came down the line again, Scarlet starting to wonder if it actually was Nina or not. “Just the girl, actually. I was wondering if you wanted to help me with something today?”

Scarlet stretched out in bed. This was an odd day. “Sure, sure. I was actually phoning to ask if you wanted to hang out, so that works. What do you need?”

“So basically I’ve decided that I’m going to cut my losses and go and stand outside Monet’s flat on the street with a speaker blasting a romantic song in a bid to win her back.”

Scarlet felt like going back to sleep. She couldn’t believe any of this was happening. “You’re…you’re what, sorry?”

“Yeah, I know, I know. It’s absolutely batshit crazy and probably won’t even work. But that’s two weeks I’ve been feeling like utter shit about the entire thing, and last night I just had this shock of motivation and clarity and I kind of told myself that if I really wanted her back that much I would have to just eat a concrete mixer of humble pie and just go and tell her what she means to me.”

In the list of things Scarlet never imagined Nina doing, publically putting herself out there in what could be an incredibly humiliating apology was probably at the top spot. Scarlet supposed it had to be seen to be believed. “Well, I’d love to come and be your moral support. You’re brave as shit, girl.”

“Ugh, you’re an angel. Can we meet halfway and then walk up to her flat together? Maybe outside the Sainsbury’s near me? In like, half an hour?”

Scarlet looked at the clock, then looked again in the mirror.  “Forty-five minutes?”

“Perfect. See ya then. Bye, Scarlet!”

“Bye,” Scarlet replied, bemused beyond belief. Giving herself a kick up the bum, she launched herself out of bed, grabbed a towel, and made her way to the shower. Forty-five minutes was a challenge, but she would make it work.

She was only ten minutes late when she met Nina outside the shop, which for the always-running-late-Scarlet was quite good. She saw with a pleasant surprise that Nina had changed out of the grotty black Primark leggings and huge oversized pyjama top she’d been wearing like a heartbroken uniform around the flat for the past two weeks, and had put on a pair of clean jeans and a red jumper. The two greasy plaits that Brooke had put her hair into last Friday were gone too, and she’d washed her hair and straightened it so it was all sleek and glossy. There wasn’t any makeup on her face, but Scarlet would allow it. This was already more than she’d expected.

“Hey, girl,” Scarlet greeted her, Nina bouncing a little in surprise as Scarlet appeared beside her. “You look so good!”

“Aw, thanks! Jesus Christ I’m so nervous it’s like I can’t even think. Oh, shit, happy birthday!” Nina said, almost in one breath as she hugged Scarlet tightly, clinging to her like an anchor and in turn illustrating how nervous she was. “How’s it going so far?”

“Yeah, okay. Well, no. A bit weird actually,” Scarlet furrowed her brow, sweeping a hand through her hair as she thought about the phone call from Yvie. “Has Yvie seemed off to you at all?”

Nina shrugged, shaking her head. “No.”

“Right. It’s just…ugh, she phoned me this morning. Everything was fine, it was just….I don’t know. Something seemed off. She said she was in the Library cafe but…I could actually hear her, you know?”

“That place has all the decibels of a rave combined with the noise level of my placement class,” Nina agreed. Then, frowning, she shook her head. “She was probably just on the way out of it.”

“Yeah…” Scarlet muttered, still puzzled. “She told me to phone you, you know.”

Nina laughed, kicking the bluetooth speakers she’d set down on the pavement, presumably too heavy for her to hold. “Oh, fuck. Checking up on the latest casualty of love, then?”

Scarlet was suddenly embarrassed, unsure as to whether or not she should’ve told Nina that. “Do you not think that’s a bit…odd?”

“Nah. Not in the least. Hey, speaking of, can we get this show on the road before I completely shit myself and/or back out?” Nina asked quickly, taking a deep exhale and bouncing on the balls of her feet. Scarlet nodded quickly, apologizing and offering to help Nina with her speakers.

“No, you’re fine. This is my cross to bear,” Nina insisted, puffing a little as she picked them up and started walking in the direction of Monet’s flat. Scarlet knew it was only a few minutes’ walk away.

“So, uh. I have a lot of questions,” Scarlet laughed a little, pleased to see Nina up and about. Every time she’d been round at Yvie’s the girl had looked an absolute sight, and had only changed her clothes once- one day where she tried to go into uni but came back sobbing as she’d seen Monet and the girl had completely blanked her. “The first one is…do the others know that you’re doing this?”

“No. Only decided last night, and I’ve been psyching myself up ever since. I’m tired of feeling like shit, I’m tired of not knowing what could happen if I just swallowed my pride and told her the truth. I was so happy with Monet, I…” Nina sighed, stopping and hitching the speakers back up. “I want to feel that happy again.”

Scarlet nodded understandingly, and they walked in silence for a moment. Nina spoke after a short pause.

“What’re the others?”

“Huh?”

“The other questions? You said you had a lot.”

“Oh, right. Well, they all kind of combine into one, really, I mean…where did you get this idea from?” Scarlet laughed, her stomach tensing as they turned into Monet’s street. She didn’t know why she was nervous. It’s not as if she was trying to get her girlfriend back.

“Well, one of Monet’s favourite films is Ten Things I Hate About You, and I’m kind of trying to recreate that. She’s a romantic, and…well, I’m shy. I need to at least try putting myself out there, even if it’s only to win her back. It’s been over a week and I’ve been torturing myself with the whole thing day after day after day. I’m grabbing life by the balls, I’m womaning up. I’m making my own happy ending,“ Nina said determinedly, heaving the speakers a final step and planting them outside Monet’s stairwell.

"No I know! It’s very inspiring. Just…I mean, you could’ve texted her first?” Scarlet chewed her lip, watching Nina flick through her phone. “I mean, she might be out.”

“Much more romantic this way, Scarlet, and romance is the order of the day. I mean how many Disney princesses get wooed by a text? None. Monet’s a princess and she deserves a princess attempt at begging her to take me back,” Nina said matter-of-factly. Scarlet watched as Nina looked up at Monet’s window, the confidence she’d possessed earlier now seeming to melt away. Scarlet took a little step forward and squeezed her shoulder.

“Hey. This will work. I know it. Monet still likes you,” Scarlet gave her friend a comforting smile. “I know she does.”

Taking a deep breath and smiling a smile of gratitude, Nina suddenly pressed play on her phone and a loud intro boomed out through the speakers. It was louder than Scarlet had been expecting. Deafening, even. Never mind Monet’s flat, half the street could probably hear it. The first faces were already starting to appear at windows, but Nina began undeterred, staring up at the window that meant the most to her hopefully.

“You’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…”

Scarlet jumped as the window above Monet’s suddenly flew open and an outraged bald man yelled an obscenity out of it. Nina continued.

“I wanna hold you so much…at long last love has arrived…and I thank God I’m-”

“Turn that fucking racket off!” came a yell from a flat across the road. Annoyed, Scarlet threw them the middle finger. Nina kept going, her face almost pained as her eyes flicked between the three windows at the front of Monet’s flat. She completed another verse and then casually hummed along with the start of the instrumental, and all at once Scarlet saw her face light up as Monet’s curtain was pulled back and Monet, Bob and Monique appeared at the window. Scarlet watched as Monet’s face rapidly displayed confusion, annoyance, and finally affection as she realised where the noise was coming from. As Monet threw her window open, Nina flung her arms out and beamed up at her, in the face of now several angry tenants from both sides of the street who were doing everything from wishing Nina an untimely death to phoning the police.

“I love you baby, and if it’s quite alright I need you baby, to warm the lonely nights, I love you baby, trust in me when I say-”

Monet was attempting to inject some form of disapproval into her tone as she shouted down, but her huge smile gave too much away. “Nina, what the hell-”

“Oh pretty baby, don’t bring me down I pray, oh pretty baby, now that I found you stay and let me love you, baby, let me love you!” Nina continued, cutting Monet off mid-sentence. Bob had raised an unconvinced eyebrow at the singing Nina but Monique seemed to be loving it, and had her phone out filming it all.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off-” Nina started again, but stopped abruptly as the music suddenly died. Confused and frowning, Nina ran to the speaker. Dismayed, she looked up at Scarlet. “Shit! It’s out of battery!”

There was a moment where the two girls on the street level looked at each other with panic. For a moment, Scarlet thought about carrying on regardless, and it seemed as if the thought crossed Nina’s mind too. However, seemingly sensing it was over, Monique applauded enthusiastically from the window, cheering for Nina. Unimpressed, Bob turned and left. Monet didn’t go anywhere. She was still rooted to the spot looking at Nina, her face beetroot red. Taking her chance, Nina yelled up at her.

“Monet, I’m so so fucking sorry!” she began, and Scarlet’s heart instantly broke. “This has been the hardest week for me in a long, long time and…fuck, I only broke up with you because I thought you were going to break up with me but I just instantly regretted it because you’re pretty much the best thing to happen to me and…God, I’m just an idiot.”

“Shit, Nina,” Monet replied, her voice a little faint at speaking pitch. She said something that neither Nina or Scarlet could make out.

“What?”

Monet rolled her eyes, amused. Yelling down, she clarified. “I said I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend! You tit!”

Nina’s face dropped in surprise, revealing what Scarlet had managed to keep secret this whole time. She was so glad she’d got to find out from Monet herself and not her or Vanjie or anyone else in their friend group. Just her and Monet. How it should be. How it should have been.

“Oh my God! Monet! I’m a fucking dick!”

“Yeah, you are,” Monet laughed, pausing and leaning her head on her hands as she continued. “So uh…you love me, is that what this is?”

Nina’s eyes awkwardly flickered to Monique. She shrugged. “Don’t stop on my account, this shit’s cute! It’s like Eastenders.”

“Piss off, Monique!” Monet snapped, shoving her out of view. Scarlet shifted from one foot to the next.

“Do you want me to go?” she offered Nina. Nina’s face instantly turned concerned.

“Oh, God no! She’s not forgiven me yet,” she whispered to her, Scarlet nodding understandingly and stepping back. Turning back to the window, Nina shrugged a little and smiled. “Fuck it, I do love you, Monet. At least, I think I do, I’ve never been in love before to figure it out. But if you give me a chance, I’ll try my best to figure it all out with you. I’m so fucking sorry, I…there’s no excuse for it. Maybe people do stupid shit when they’re in love.”

Scarlet watched as Monet’s face broke out into a smile. Nina gazed up at her hopefully. “Can you, uh. Can you forgive me?”

“Well, I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I guess if you come up here…” a smirk slowly spread across Monet’s face, all at once seeming much more like the fun, flirty girl Scarlet knew her as. “…I might let you persuade me."

Nina’s face immediately turned completely pink as if someone had flipped a switch, and Scarlet looked up with surprise as muffled cheering came from the window adjacent to Monet’s. Looking up she found Monique watching the entire exchange from her own bedroom window completely unashamedly. Scarlet was distracted, though, by Nina suddenly wrapping her in a hug. Pulling away, she was beaming from ear to ear.

“Thanks so much, Scarlet. I don’t think I could have done any of this without you.”

Heart warmed, Scarlet batted a hand at her. “Hey, any of us would’ve come with you!”

“No, I needed you. Yvie would’ve told me the whole thing was a stupid idea, Brooke would’ve just moped around like she’s been doing for days on end. You’re the next reasonable choice,” Nina smiled gratefully, then took a quick look up at Monet’s window and bit her lip. “Fuck, do you think she’ll actually forgive me or-”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Nina, she’s so obviously about to bang your brains out!!” Scarlet cried exasperatedly, laughing at Nina’s instant blush.

“No, of course. You’re right. Fuck, shit, I should’ve worn nicer underwear. Am I even wearing a bra?”

“Just go-” Scarlet gently pushed Nina into the stairwell. “- and get your damn girlfriend back!”

“Right. Yes. Okay,” Nina babbled, turning and walking up the stairwell. Scarlet waited a second before she shouted at her.

“Speakers!”

“Speakers, yes, right,” Nina’s voice came from inside the building, the girl re-emerging from the stairwell, taking the speakers that she’d forgotten off the ground and scuttling inside again. Laughing, Scarlet grinned. She couldn’t wait to tell the girls about it all. Opening the group chat, she paused. Perhaps this was one Nina could do on her own.

Checking the time, Scarlet saw it was half twelve. She had said she’d head round to Yvie’s at one, but she was sure she wouldn’t mind if Scarlet was a bit early. Deciding to start walking, Scarlet began making her way to what was essentially her second home in the city now. It wasn’t a long walk, and Scarlet liked a wander at this time of year anyway. It was beginning to properly look like Springtime now, all the little bulbs poking out of the grass in the park and the air even smelling that little bit more sunshiney. Scarlet knew that didn’t make sense to anyone but her, but it made her happier knowing that better weather was on its way.    

Within ten minutes she was at Yvie’s door and pressing the buzzer. Scarlet stood for a moment and waited, which wasn’t usual. Brooke had once described Yvie reacting to the buzzer as racing to the door like an excited puppy, clamouring to let Scarlet in. Remembering the weird phone call, Scarlet felt a knot appear in her stomach. She buzzed again, waited again. Then there came a crackle.

“Hello?”

Scarlet recognised Yvie’s voice instantly. “Hey, it’s me! I’m a little bit early-”

“No, no, it’s fine- come up.”

The buzzer went, and Scarlet clicked open the door. She felt a little uneasy as she took the steps two at a time up to Yvie’s top floor flat. As she walked in through the door, Yvie was there to greet her.

“Hey, baby,” she smiled brightly, Scarlet not missing the way her eyes darted back inside just before she kissed her. “Happy birthday! How are you?”

“Uh, good, yeah. I’m good. Had a pretty weird day,” Scarlet admitted, watching as Yvie’s eyes darted back inside. This time, Scarlet followed her gaze.

“Is, uh. Is Nina not with you?” Yvie frowned, seeming worried as Scarlet entered the hallway.

“Nina? No, why would Nina be with me?” Scarlet frowned, taking off her jacket, folding it in half and crossing her arms. Yvie ran a hand through her hair.

“I just thought you two were hanging out- you said you’d phone her-”

Suddenly, there came what sounded like a giggle from the kitchen. Scarlet put two and two together and got a thousand.

“Yvie,” she began, her tone dark and her stomach churning. “Who’s in the kitchen?”

“What? Nobody. Nobody’s in,” Yvie frowned, her eyes darting to the kitchen door once more.

Scarlet paused for a moment. This was all wrong. Her mind was going too fast for her to catch up with. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Are you cheating on me?”

At once, she regretted the question as Yvie’s face dropped. “What?!”

“Are you cheating on me? Hiding your screen, shutting your laptop, being weird with me…it all adds up, fuck, Yvie, is she here? Is she here now?” Scarlet reeled off, feeling herself grow more and more frustrated. In a minute she would start with the angry tears but fuck, she couldn’t give Yvie the satisfaction of crying in front of her. How the fuck could she do this?

Yvie actually started laughing. “Is that what you think? Oh my God, Scarlet, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Confused, Scarlet fought the urge to push her girlfriend away as Yvie stepped forward and wrapped her in a tight cuddle. “I would never, ever, ever do something like that to you, okay? Let’s get that right from the start. You will never have to worry about that with me. Okay? Jesus Christ, I love you so much. You’re so dumb.”

“So you’ve not cheated?” Scarlet muttered quietly against Yvie’s chest. Her blood was still racing in her veins despite Yvie’s words calming her mind down. She felt Yvie pulling away and stepping back.

“Scarlet,” Yvie said simply, walking to the door. “What day is it today?”

“…my birthday?” Scarlet said blankly, watching as her girlfriend put her hand on the door handle.

“Exactly. So when it’s your girlfriend’s birthday, her twenty-first birthday, I should add, what do you do?”

Scarlet felt as if she was watching a murder mystery and couldn’t tie everything together. “You make dinner for them and spend time with them?”

“No…” Yvie laughed a little, turning the handle and cracking the door open a tiny bit. “You make sure she’s out of the house for the day and-”

As Yvie threw the door open, Scarlet almost got the fright of her life as the room was filled with screaming, confetti and party poppers. Blinking and trying to get over her shock, she could see Vanjie, Akeria, Silky, Brooke and Plastique, and they were all running to hug her. Finally, it sank in what was going on.

“Oh my God…you guys…this is a surprise birthday party?!” she squealed, the rollercoaster of emotions she’d been put through in the past five minutes causing tears to spring to her eyes. Akeria, who had found herself in the middle of the hug, laughed and gave her a shake.

“Not just any surprise birthday party! Your fuckin’ surprise twenty-first birthday party!!” she all but yelled into Scarlet’s ear, giving her an extra tight squeeze. As the girls pulled away from her, Scarlet frantically took in her surroundings. There was confetti all over the floor and pink balloons hanging from every possible place they could hang from. Across the wall above the kitchen cupboards, there was a very obviously homemade banner that said “HAPPY 21ST SCARLET WE LOVE U”, and on the kitchen table there were cakes, a selection of all the best beige-coloured party food, and a massive bowl of punch which, if Silky had had any hand in creating, would be absolutely lethal.

“What…but I still don’t get all of this!” Scarlet laughed in delight, feeling Yvie wrap her in a hug from behind. Doubling over laughing, she pointed to her girlfriend. “I just asked her if she was cheating on me!!”

The room exploded with laughter. Three of the girls started speaking at the same time, then one voice began to dominate.

“You seriously believed we weren’t gonna do stuff for your birthday just because it’s a Sunday?!” Vanjie screeched in disbelief. “Fuck outta here! It’s your 21st, bitch, of course we had to do somethin’!!”  

“Yvie messaged us all about two weeks ago making sure we were all free,” Plastique explained, smiling. “And we’ve been planning what to do ever since. If we’d known she’d be that bad at not acting suspicious we’d have organised it all without her.”

“So wait…did you even have an essay to hand in this morning?” Scarlet wondered, turning to her girlfriend. Yvie laughed.

“Nope. It was all LIES, Scarlet, lies! I was to make sure you didn’t stay over so we could make things and set stuff up all morning. And Nina was supposed to hang out with you and bring you back to the flat when we were ready. Which, by the way, where is Nina?”

“She’s, uh. It’s a long story,” Scarlet rubbed her forehead, too exhausted to even get into it. “I’ll let her tell you when she gets here. At least, I’m assuming she’ll be coming.”

“She better had, bitch, it’s your twenty-first!” Silky yelled indignantly. Scarlet wanted to say that the girl would’ve had a pretty good excuse to miss things, but she held her tongue. Still intrigued, she cast her eyes around the room again.

“So, wait, what’s the actual plan for today?”

“Movie afternoon here with all the food. Drinking Silk’s punch and getting day drunk,” Brooke explained with a smile before being cut off by Vanessa.

“Hey, I helped make that punch, gimme credit, bitch!” she flipped her hair, a little twinkle of something in her eye that intrigued Scarlet. Brooke seemed nonplussed and just smirked.

“Fuck, well. That’s even more reason to stay away from it, it’s probably just vodka and food colouring.”

As the other girls laughed, Vanessa leaned over and gave Brooke a small shove in the ribs. Scarlet exchanged quick eye contact with Yvie, and the look her girlfriend gave her seemed to say that there was more she’d be told later.

“Once we finish the movie then we’re gonna do MarioKart or Mario Party, then get ready and go out. Fuck a degree if we can’t have a life,” Akeria explained further. Scarlet felt like crying again. This was the feeling of running downstairs at 9 years old, of her presents in the kitchen and the people she loved happy and excited for her. These girls were truly her second family.

“Fuck, thank you guys. I love you so much,” Scarlet whispered, not trusting herself to speak unless her voice cracked. The girls all fussed over her and went in for a second hug, only pulling away when Silky cried out that it was punch time.

“What’re we watching, babe?” Yvie called over from the punch bowl, as Scarlet sat herself on her and Yvie’s favourite chair and the other girls began getting themselves comfy. Scarlet quickly forgot about what Yvie had asked, however, as she noticed something- Vanessa, Akeria and Silky all sitting on the sofa, but Vanessa positioning herself at the edge next to the other armchair. Brooke was sitting in it, and the two girls were actually talking. Not just talking. Smiling. Bickering playfully about fuck-knows-what.

“Scarlet!” Plastique suddenly shouted, causing her to yell in surprise. The other girls laughed. “Yvie said what’re we watching?”

“Uh, Princess Diaries, duh,” Scarlet rolled her eyes. As Yvie came back and grabbed the remote, she wordlessly tapped Scarlet’s phone. Picking up on the signal, Scarlet grabbed it and unlocked it.

Y: they’ve been like this all day btw

Y: arguing like an old married couple and flirting and shit

Y: wtf is going on

Scarlet’s brow furrowed as she read the messages. That was weird. Weird, weird, weird, and Scarlet didn’t know what to think. She was suddenly distracted by a notification from the group chat before she could speculate any further.

Kim Kardashian-West: I’m out of the doghouse and my depressive slump. Me and MY GIRLFRIEND will be with u all in an hour xoxoxoxoxoxo

As the news gradually reached the others in the room, it became filled with shouts and cries of excitement, disbelief and joy at Nina finally having fixed things with Monet.

“Wait, wait, wait a minute,” Plastique said urgently, turning round so quickly to look at Scarlet she was sure it would give her whiplash. “You were with her. What happened?”

Scarlet let out a laugh as she realised all the girls had their eyes on her like trained snipers. Who needed a movie when she could recount the great stairwell serenade she’d witnessed earlier?

“Buckle up, children,” Scarlet began, leaning on her knees. “It’s storytime.”

[hamilton-one-shots]

Hamilton High School AU 22

Alexander popped the phone onto a charger and waited for the screen to light up. When it did, he saw that the lock screen was Lafayette and a few old friends in front of the Eiffel Tower. He looked happy. At least, he looked substantially happier than the last time Alexander saw him. He sighed and added Lafayette's new number before texting him. [Laf: hey, its alex. marta gavme ur old phon. can we tak l8r? its imprtnt.] Then he switched to texting John. [John: hey, marta gav me lafs old phon 4 now.]

Both were headed back to class after lunch, though Lafayette was more nervous to respond. [Yes, of course, but it will have to wait a while. I have drama and we're talking to John after that.]

[I'm glad to hear that. I missed you. : )]

Alexander opened his laptop to work on something for the debate society, cringing as Lafayette's text tone rang through. 'Salut! New message, Monsieur! Meow!' Even Lafayette now would be annoyed by it.  [Laf: it ok. I jus wana tak. Hav fun in drama :)] He hoped he sounded friendly enough. The last thing he wanted to do was panic Lafayette. [John: i talked 2 marta a lot. I feel beter 4 it. Oh! Also took my meds] [...do u thnk Tomas gets angry spels?] [no, ignor tat. It's dum. Jus thinkin 2 much. Bored @ hoem.]

Lafayette was the first to respond with a simple [Thank you, I'll see you then.]

[I'm glad you feel better! Can't have my love feeling too bad ❤] [I'm also proud of you for taking your meds 💗] It was mushy, but it was John. He was usually like that. At least he was with Alexander. When the second set of messages came through, he frowned a bit. [Jefferson's just a stupid bully. I've known that for a while now, you know.] [Don't let him get to you.]

Alexander sighed. He couldn't blame John for thinking that way after what he did to him. [sry, just didnt tink ne1 cud b tat much of n ass w/out reson]

[I see where you're coming from, but Jefferson isn't like you. He doesn't care.]

John had a point, but... It was worth a shot. He logged into Facebook and pulled up his messages with Jefferson. [dnt b men to laf in drama]

[Anything for you <3 xx]

[dnt do tat. im tryin to b sivil]

[You just wanted to message me, didn't you? ;) xx]

[no.]

[Why? Besides, I'm meant to be working, boo <3 xx]

[4get it] Alexander dropped back to his pillow with a huff, holding the phone to his chest. This wasn't going anywhere. [jus bored. Go bck 2 studyin]

[Yes sir <3 xx] Thomas chuckled and strode into class with Lafayette and Hercules, where Alexander usually joined them, and sat beside the pair. "Smile, Mulligan. You use less muscle."

"When you drop, I will." He shot back.

"Now, now, I've been given specific instructions to be nice to Laf. I plan on following them." Thomas grinned.

Lafayette shifted to be a bit closer to Herc. He didn't feel like starting a fight with Thomas that day and didn't want Hercules to feel he had to. "If you really wanted to be nice to me, you'd kindly fuck off." He smiled, speaking low enough so that the teacher wouldn't hear, but loud enough for Thomas to hear him clearly.

Thomas nodded. "As you wish." And he... actually left?

"What's up with that?" Hercules asked.

"I don't know.. Maybe we should just enjoy this while it lasts."

[Laf asked me to move and I did. That's being kind, right? 😉 xx]

[i gess... thnx?].

[Don't mention it. See? I can be nice 💗 xx]  [What am I going to get in return? Or do I move back to sitting next to them? xx]

Alexander froze, feeling his heart jump wildly in his chest. [wat do u meen...?]

[I mean xx] [Either we start 'getting along' if you catch my drift, I'll play nice. I'll be nice to Laf, I'll be nice to Herc; hell, I'll even be nice to your Johnny 💗 xx] [We've just got to spend some time together, that's all xx] [Or I can go find John now. He's probably in the library, right? xx]

[nO] [dnt do that] [pls] He panicked, typing back quickly, biting his lip.

[Then let's hang out. Sit with me in lunch tomorrow when you're back. Then come to mine after school. I'll even drive us. OR I'll get John. xx]

Poor Alexander whimpered in panic. This wasn't what he wanted. Not in the least. [ok] He looked back to his conversation with John. [John, u cnt come ovr 2day. im 2 sick.]

John furrowed his eyebrows and took a break from drawing. [What? Are you sure? I asked Martha earlier and she said it'd be fine if I went over and visited you...] [And Lafayette asked me to come over, probably to talk about what they know.]

Crap, that was right. Alexander almost forgot. [sry, just havn an episod. frekd out fr a sec] He curled up and whimpered. He was scared... And he needed John now more than ever, but he wasn't going to let Thomas come near him, not after what he'd done to him. He had to take care of this himself. He switched back to Facebook. [tomas, im not sure about this...]

[So you'd rather me go back to sitting next to him and start something? Ooh, I know, I could tell him how hot he looks in skinnies 😉 xx]

Alexander jumped up. [no dnt] [sorry jus] [pls dnt do nythin] [pls] [tomas?] [thomas] [anser] [o god] [dnt hve dne nything] [pls] [tomas!]

[Chill. Eacker was looking this way so I had to hide my phone xx] This was a lie. Thomas had waited a few minutes before responding purposefully to scare poor Alexander. [Good to hear you screaming my name tho xx]

[stop pls]

[How'd you manage to misspell my name when it's on the screen in front of you? 😜 xx]

[pannic]

[Aww... don't panic 💗 I'm gonna look after you, I promise xx] He looked over at Lafayette and Hercules and smiled.

Lafayette glared back at him. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this..."

"Please be carerful.." Hercules kissed his cheek.

After school, Lafayette took a chance and sat beside Thomas for drama. "Hello, Thomas."

Thomas raised an eyebrow at him. "Since when do you talk to me?"

"I just thought I could ask you for some advice. Do you have any tips for playing Veronica sawyer?"

This sparked his interest. "There's not much to it. She's a high school chick trying to fit in. Sort of a sassy girl next door."

"I see.." He nodded. "And I wanted to apologize for our prank last night. I remember how hard it was for John to have to raise his siblings."

"Forget about it. Lucy's a kid. These things happen." He pulled out his script. "So, are you okay with Dead Girl Walking? Because we're going to have to practice that scene at some point and I don't want it to be awkward when we do." As if he cared. He only had to be nice to Lafayette.

Laf couldn't help but shudder a bit ,though he was able to keep it to himself. "It's just acting. No harm done. I'm sure Herc won't mind."

Thomas nodded. "You're right. He shouldn't."

Before Lafayette could comment on what Jefferson was obviously trying to do, Eacker stumbled in, apologizing for being late once again before announcing their roles. Of course, Lafayette was Veronica Sawyer and Thomas Jefferson was Jason Dean.

"See? You know me. It won't be so bad."

Though, of course, it was the fact that Lafayette knew him that made it bad.

"What scene are you two talking about?" Eacker asked as he passed the pair.

"Dead Girl Walking. Just hoping it won't be too awkward."

Eacker smiled. "Well, nothing like breaking the ice."

Wait, what?

"We're all friends here. We were going to head on stage anyways to practice a few scenes. Why not this one?"

Oh, god, were they really doing this now? Lafayette stood up and took a deep breath before following everyone out to the auditorium. It's just acting.

Thomas was too busy texting to worry.

[i dnt like tis] [im scared] [pls dnt taek it owt on laf] [i jst dnt want 2 go hoem w/ u] [sorry sory sorry] [nything els, u got it] [jus dnt ruin drma 4 laf] [dnt go neer Jhon] [John*] [pls] [pls] [pls]

[No. We've got a deal, babe. I'll behave if you do as I say. Laf's acting now; y'sure you wanna go back on this nooooow? 😉 xx]

[nO] [pls] [leev hm aloen] [il b good] [its fien] [il go w/ yu] [srry]

[Good choice 💗 xx]

Alexander changed the password on the phone to some complicated pattern before putting it down on the bed... then beginning to tremble. He hopped up from the bed before practically sprinting across to Lafayette's room and launching himself at John. Poor Rosie barely had time to leap out of the way. She hissed disapprovingly as she knocked her paw before returning to her basket as Alexander buried his face in John's chest, shaking like a leaf. He kept his arms wrapped around John's waist in the same vice like fashion he had before when he was scared John would leave him.

John didn't ask any questions. He didn't have to ask what happened. He had a good feeling. He texted Jefferson to confirm his beliefs. [What did you do to Alex? Leave him alone. If you're doing this to hurt me, just come after me instead. If you're not, come after me anyways. Leave him out.]

Thomas chuckled. How cute. But he couldn't respond yet. He got on stage with Lafayette and watched him act as the song began.

"The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday, 8 am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in Study Hall, stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live. How shall I spend them? I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and drive up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike. Wait, here’s an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting’ freaky! Yeah! I need it hard, I’m a dead girl walking! I’m in your yard, I’m a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock, I’m snappin’ off your window lock. Got no time to knock, I’m a dead girl walking." As much as Lafayette dreaded the scene, he wasn't about to half ass it.

"V-veronica..? What are you doing in my room...?" It was... unclear if Thomas was acting or not. It was either excellent acting ability... or Lafayette had genuinely caught Thomas off guard and scared him half to death. Either way, it certainly fit the role.

"Shh!" Lafayette looked back at Thomas with a sultry expression, grabbing his shirt collar. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you ‘cause Heather says I gotsta go. You’re my last meal on Death Row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! Tonight I’m yours! I’m your dead girl walking." He pushed him down to his knees, lost in the role. "Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and I'm on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He kneeled down and held his face. "And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"

"Shh!" Lafayette looked back at Thomas with a sultry expression, grabbing his shirt collar. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you ‘cause Heather says I gotsta go. You’re my last meal on Death Row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! Tonight I’m yours! I’m your dead girl walking." He pushed him down to his knees, lost in the role.

Thomas felt his knees click as he dropped, but it was totally worth it. Lafayette looked an image of perfection and coupled with those lyrics... Thomas felt like he could take him there and then.

"Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He knelt down and held his face.

It took all of Thomas' restraint not to go back on his 'deal' with Alexander. Whether or not getting in Lafayette's pants was his focus, he was undeniably gorgeous.

"And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"

"Th-that works for me!" He exasperated before yanking Lafayette into a kiss. It was rough and messy... but at least it fit the scene.

It was going to take the power of every god to wash that taste from Lafayette's mouth. It tasted like.. Like.. Jefferson. And he hated it. But he didn't act like it. He kissed back just as roughly because it wasn't Lafayette kissing Thomas, it was Veronica kissing JD. And it was too late to back out then, so he kissed back and continued the song afterwards. "Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead girl walking!

"How'd you find my address?"

"Let’s break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!"

"I think we tore my mattress!"

"No sleep tonight for you! Better chug that Mountain Dew!"

"Okay, okay.."

"Get your ass in gear! Make this whole town disappear!"

"Okay, Okay!"

"Slap me, pull my hair! Touch me there, there, and there!" Lafayette didn't know what was worse, the fact that Thomas' hands were all over him or the fact that he was the one guiding them. At least he got to slap him. "No more talking!"

"Woah!"

"Love this dead girl walking!"

"Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Yeah, yeah!"

"Love this dead girl walking!"

"Love this dead girl! Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!"

They finished out the song in sync. "Love this dead girl! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"Ouch!"

"YEAH!”

“YEAH!"

As soon as the song was over, Lafayette got off of Thomas and caught his breath, smiling at the class a bit. He knew they did amazing. And he hated it.

Thomas looked like a mess. His hair was sticking up all directions and his face was glowing crimson. Thomas was no virgin, but he hadn't expected Lafayette to carry out the scene so well, or convincingly. He pulled himself to his feet, joining the applause for Lafayette and himself before offering a hand to help pull Lafayette up from the floor.

"See? You're both fine. Nothing to worry about." Eacker chirped with praise. "It helps when it's a friend there, right?"

"Right." Thomas piped back before returning back to his seat with Lafayette. "...so do I owe you a cigarette or...?" He laughed lightly, attempting to tidy his hair.

Lafayette rolled his eyes, holding his arms that much closer against his chest.

When class drew to a close, Thomas put his script back into his rucksack and swung it over his shoulder. "You're a great actor, Laf. Really. I mean that. I'll catch you tomorrow.," he complimented before waving him off and leaving the room, finally texting John back. [/I've/ done nothing. I haven't seen him today. Besides, he's /your/ boyfriend. You fix him xxx]

As Lafayette followed behind him, surrounded by his classmates, he felt conflicted. He loved acting, but it felt wrong doing that scene with Jefferson.

When Lafayette came out of the classroom, surrounded by various other drama members full of praise and compliments, Hercules bit his lip. This was something Lafayette was 1. Obviously passionate about and 2. Very good at. Hercules's jealousy would have to step aside. Instead, he greeted Lafayette with a supportive smile, pretending he hadn't just seen that scene. "Hey you! Someone's popular!" He hummed. "John headed back to yours early to see Alex. Are you ready to go?"

He nodded and faked a smile. "Yes. Let's go." He kissed his cheek and walked home with him.

When John and Alexander heard the pair arriving, the latter froze up a bit. Not only did they have the talk to do, but he hadn't gotten around to apologizing to Lafayette and he believed him to still be mad.

They entered the room and mumbled a few greetings before sitting down, even Rosie leaving the room as she sensed the tense atmosphere.

John was the first to break the silence.