#if u managed to read all this and not cry i am even more proud

[eunkitarot]

Eunki can u make a post on how enhypen would react to their s/o crying because of them? Like how they would react and what they would do if they made their s/o cry?

So using tarot I would be telling yall what might happen and also fyi its not au😬 so im not gg to sugar coat it. I will read the reaction as it is.

DISCLAIMER : its tarot 💥energy shifts💥.

So with,

Heeseung

Ace Of Pentacles reversed

Right of the bat when he sees is SO crying because of him he would be worried. I can see him feeling bad but unsure how to approach his SO. He would be hesitant to make any more moves. He worries he would make it worse. He would show signs of stress or anxiety, such as a furrowed brow or tense posture. So I am seeing him standing there stuck and just thinking " What have I done? Have i gone too far? Why did I say that?" A million questions running through his mind. Because of this he may not even try to calm you down because he himself is having this inner crisis of trying to process what he just did.

Jay

Nine of Cups

Okay so with Jay, we need to see the reason you cry. Is it of happiness or sadness. Why did he make you cry? So if happiness he would give you a hug. Asking why are you crying? For eg he bought you a ring and you cry cause you are touched. He would be proud of how he makes you feel. He is happy to see you happy. Now if its sadness, Jay is someone that would instantly realise and approach you to apologise. He would calmly handle the situation with compassion trying to understand why are you crying. Overall, he would have this calm demeanor as if setting his foot down. Physically, he would put his shoulders around yours gently.

Jake

King Of Cups reversed

Ok for Jake he would panic. He would appear unsettled or inconsistent, reflecting his inner emotional turmoil. He would be restless or feel discomfort seeing you cry because of him. I can see him being shifty. Very dramatic, not calm at all. Its like the world ended when you cry. Massive amount of guilt crashing down on him. I can see him pacing back and forth. So usually i dont link to astrology but Jake is a scorpio venus and this card reversed is link to scorpio placements.

Astrologically, the King of Cups reversed as a person represents someone who is dealing with the challenging aspects of Scorpio or Pisces, like emotional hypersensitivity. These astrological influences may exacerbate their tendencies towards emotional extremes and difficulty in handling their deep emotional sensitivity.

Jake may feel its difficult to find a balance in his emotional life and developing healthier ways to express and manage his feelings. So yes, if he sees you cry he would panic to no end and he wont know how to handle how he feels , so he definitely can't handle yours.

Sunghoon

Eight of wands

Okay, for Sunghoon, he would react fast upon seeing you cry. So he would approach you and be like, " wait what happened? What did I say that made you cry?". So for eg, you're sitting and he is standing and then he sees you start crying, he would suddenly rush to your side asking " hey what's wrong? is it something that I said?" Grab a box of tissue asap and hug you. I think he is very straightforward. He would react accordingly. Quick decisions and rapid responds is what I am getting. And he would want to communicate with you right there and then to quickly clear the air. So yeah he would ask you as you cry. So that the situation wont get worst. He would want you to let it all out, even if you are angry at him.

Sunoo

Ace Of Swords

Okay so seeing you cry Sunoo would approach the situation clear-minded still. So even if youre crying, he wont be emotionally swayed by it but instead he would look at the situation as it is while comforting you. He would silently sit next to you as you cry giving you time to collect yourself. " let it all out and then tell me what happened" if he hurt you he needs to know why. So that he won't do it again. With this card , this is someone that goes straight to the heart of the matter. He wants a clear communication. Physically, he would sit beside you, and have this focused penetrating gaze on you. This whole demeanor could also reflect a bit of his guilt.

Jungwon

Four of cups reversed

Jungwon would reasses what he did. Seeing you cry he would come towards you with a gaze that become more focused and present. He would reach out for your hands looking into your eyes as if searching for answers as what did he say or do that makes you cry. A bit confused but he would be willing to figure it out. He would be open to whatever you want to say. Whether you want to scold him or reprimand him for what he did. Jungwon would be open to that because he is aware he hurt you. He would just accept it.

Ni-Ki

The magician reversed

Ok last but not least our maknae Ni-ki, alright right of the bat seeing you cry makes him feel insecure. Insecure of himself not being a great SO to you because he hurt you. He would start to doubt himself and question if he deserves you. Something about him not showing his true reaction to seeing you cry. So maybe in his head is its full blown chaos but outside he looks aloof. Like he don't care. Niki struggles to show how he really feels about the situation. So he would just stare at you and is just stuck.

💗Honest takes; take it with a grain of salt: tbh i like the way sunoo handle it. Something about being able to be present even if youre not being affectionate is so important to me. So yeah i like his approach the most.

I hope you like my read. Again its tarot, dont take it as an ultimatum. Enha boys are humans, and they constantly grow over time. Emotional maturity constantly evolve. And that people should realise your idols are not perfect and they too have red flags :)

[kingofrotten]

Royal duties

Crowley.

From King of Crossroads to King of Hell.

Even though it's been years till his status changed he stayed the same. Cunning, charming and a little bit sassy. Those Qualities let you fall for him in the first place. Sure, the intoxicating voice whispering sweet sins in your ear from time to time helped.

You missed it. The whispering, the little dates he took you to, the lite smell of whiskey whenever you snuggled against him. You missed all of that.

The King was busy with his royal duties. Managing Contracts, controlling the demons on the earth and hell, terrorizing new souls. Normally you understood that you couldn't enjoy his company all day and night. But this was going on for a while now.

And today of all day was the worst. It started with a shitty morning. Some Demos woke you up by shouting in the hallway arguing about whether or not they could trust the Winchesters. Normally Crowley would tear them apart for even thinking the rest of the day wasn't great either. You spend most of the day in your bedroom that Crowley built for you. You were lying on the soft, bloodred sheets of your bed. Right next to you was your favorite book that u abandoned cause you were getting sick of being alone all day.

The little hope that at least tonight you could enjoy the company of your beloved King was quickly shattered when one of Crowleys minons told you that the King was really busy.

That took everything from you. Normally you wouldn't cry so fast but today was just not your day. There you were. Quietly sobbing in your sheets. You didn't notice the door opening and the light footsteps making the way to your bed was also unnoticed.

,,Pet?", you heard the familiar voice of Crowley. Fast you wiped your tears that have falling from your cheeks when you lifted your head. You hoped he didn't notice. ,,Hey there Crowley.", you greeted your favorite Demon while trying your best smile. But he knew. Crowley knew knew that the smile was fake. It was almost the same smile you gave him when he told you that he was to busy to make plans with you. ,,What's the matter, Darling?", he asked while slowly approaching you. You turned so you could face the handsome scottish man. His face was unreadable. His tie on his suit was lightly opened. He swung the whisky patently in his right Hand and rented the other in his pocket. ,,Nothing. Just, you know a bad day.", you told him, hoping he would not dig deeper. You didn't want to break down in front of him.

And he didn't press you more. He already knew what's wrong. The proud King took a sip of he's drink before he set it on your nightstand. Without another word he sat next to you. In that moment you wished you could read minds but then again, dose this work on Demos? He took a deep breath and looked at you. It was one of the intense looks. It was almost as if he studied your eyes. ,,Do you like pasta and red wine?", he asked suddenly. Now you were totally confused but still answered with a shy: ,,Yes?"

The King of Hell snapped his fingers you found yourself in front of a small, round dinner table with a beautiful red candle in the middle. Next to you was the city skyline. The lights of the city were almost as beautiful as the stars painting the magnificent dark sky above you. A little further away from you were other people sitting, laughing, drinking and just enjoying the warm evening right in front of the expensive looking restaurant. ,,Crowley, where-", you began to question but the look down your body made you stop in the middle of your sentence. You were wearing your favorite outfit. The one that you wore when you first went on a date with the seducing King. ,,Italy. Rom to be correct.", he answered your cut of question. A skinny looking waiter interrupted you two with a bottle of red wine. He vanished after pouring you a glas and taking your order. Crowleys big Hand took yours when you were distracted by the beautiful live music. ,,I am sorry, Darling. For being so busy lately. What do you say if we let hell go to hell tomorrow and do anything you love to do?" Once again the King of Hell left you speechless. All you could answer with was your smile. Your honest smile. The one that the King of the Damned so loved.

___________________________________________

My first office fanfictions. Took me a lot of courage to actually post it but here you go. Please keep in mind that englisch is not my first language.

I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked my writing send me a requests. If you're a writer too pls feel free to give me your honest opinion. I wanna get better at writing.

[Gif is not mine.]

[dienamights]

I was looking thru the few asks you answered yesterday and saw you mentioned an internship. And I remembered before you disappeared you mentioned being nervous about an interview for a job you really wanted.

So you managed to get it? 🥺

Or is the internship a bit of a different thing?

Either way I am so happy for you and so proud of u for managing to snag something with the company you really wanted! 💖

I sincerely hope it is a paid internship if you’re spending licherally half the day working and dYING.

If not, I’ve got my elbows out bestie. I amn ready to drop anybody and errybody over there.

I love you sm Nami, my love :3. Kissin u 💋💋💋💋.

Honestly august/september were such a blur of interviews and entrance exams that i dont even remember which one i was nervous about (hint: it was all of them)

Gonna put this in a readmore cause im abt to babble and im not sure anyone wants to read it lmao

Basically i applied to every oil and gas company where i live and got interviewed and got some offers. And like one in particular gave me a contract for a position where i work 6 days a week PLUS overtime, meaning i should just bring my pillow and just fuckin sleep on my desk. So i just, y’know— politely said fuck off. And bc the position was like a desk job which isnt really what i wanted seeing as its like my first job so i wanted to do more field work (0/10 would not recommend, idfk what i was thinking)

I got like other offers which were shit bc i was offered positions below my education(???? Idfk what the term is in english help me) but basically they weren’t like, engineering positions so I declined bc i wasn’t gonna settle for anything less than what i worked so hard for y’know?

The internship that im currently doing is in like my dream company and actually an engineering position, except i wasnt placed anywhere NEAR what i wanted which is, y’know whatever (lie i cried for a whole week like the lil bitch that i am) but i’m like working extra hard bc all the other interns are like a whole different species and im TRYING TO KEEP UP and after two months i can safely say i am getting the hang of it. My supervisor basically told me if i suck it up and finish this one year thing i can then request to work wherever i wanted when i do get the permanent contract so fingers crossed i dont get played next year LMQOWHDKD

IT IS PAID thank GAWD otherwise i woulda burned this place tf down. And like more than what i expected an internship to pay so im really not complaining HENDODUW

I love you MOAR bby lemme kiss YEW🥺💗💗💗💗💗 you’re so sweet for asking and remembering i am crying so loud rn im a MESS IM SORRY FOR TALKING A LOT

[jvnisms-blog]

♡♡          hey babes !! it’s ya gal charmi at it again, the mun of azami, with yet another chaotic child on my hands. meet jung woojin and find out more about him below the cut & hit me up for plots or like this and i will slide into your messages !! before you read on please be aware of these triggers: tw: eating disorder mention, tw: depression mention, tw: anxiety mention, tw: self harm mention, tw: parental death mention, tw: suicide mention, tw: domestic abuse mention. all of these are brief and very vague however i want y’all to be safe !! without further ado: 

BACKSTORY: 

was in and out of the adoption system most of his life and went to many toxic homes and families that were neglectful or abusive because he wasn't the perfect child they had dreamed of. at first thought he was never going to be fostered at all because he wasn't the ideal age or considered young enough really for many family setups to want him. 

was separated from his brother in the adoption system and has never fully got over it since they grew up closer than ever due to their circumstances and were more like twins. strongly believing for a long time they were the only ones who could look out for each other and make the miserable upbringing worth fighting through. he still believes he's the only one who can really protect his brother and tears himself apart thinking of how he might have suffered without him, if it was the same way he did. 

the father died of alcohol issues and early set heart failure. the mother decided in her grief and mourning she could not cope with the boys and got rid of them before taking her own life. both parents were fairly young when they had the boys, too young really. 

the boy grew up believing he was a monster and that he was far too violent for loving or to be loved. that he only brought destruction and damage everywhere he went. simply put he was too rough around the edges. 

was taught to believe that if he simply kept quiet and out of the way maybe his foster parents would love him more and he could make his life there more bearable.

his school and teachers did nearly find out but he always lied and covered it up well, in fact lying became increasingly easy because he didn't believe there was anything better waiting for him anyway, he did not want to be saved and a part of him still wanted to pray for the best in his foster parents, a sudden change. a part of him thought he was strong enough to deal with their violence bestowed upon him now. 

of course though this made him a very angry kid with a lot of secrets and a lot of pain he had to keep buried, a lot of the time he became too agressive with his friends and people who attempted to help him because it was all he knew, agressive spat out hurtful words and rash actions that are just a touch too brutal. a shove, words spat in faces. he's trying to be better though, he really is. he doesn't want to hurt or break things anymore. that's all. 

he's beaten up a lot, he tends to brush it off with a 'it happens' or 'it wasn't a big deal' when his ribs end up broken and he's taping them up himself etc.

some nervous dispositions that have stuck are things such as shaking a lot, folding arms in on himself and making himself appear smaller, biting his nails down over excessively.

abandoned foster child who fell prey to the system and came out worse for it because of it all is basically his whole niche. 

a lot of things become an argument even when he doesn't intend it, apologies can come out more like taunting. he can be sharp tongued and ugly with his words. 

in turn he's bad at accepting apologies even when he knows deep down things are his own fault. he struggles to find words that don't burn and hurt and take. he just doesn't know how to do comfort, he thinks he has the idea sometimes but he is scared to reach out and give the wrong touch, end up hurting more instead. 

he has an issue with touching in general. he doesn't let himself do it much, doesn't bestow it on others. he knows what he can be capable of how he can't control his own strength and he is terrified of himself.* biggest promise to himself is that he never hurts anyone even in the smallest way even when its justified in an emotional breakdown or when he is trying to keep himself from being abandoned once again. he won't let himself. 

' you know what they say about monsters. you know what happens to the people who love them. are you going to do that?' even if no one else is afraid of him. he is afraid of himself.

' your hands don't know how to be gentle, think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. the fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. you wolf boy, you war machine. you wouldn't know how to hold something magic and not destroy it...' 

is littered in bruises and scars and burn marks. 

CURRENT LIFE: 

since moving to daegu he has slowly made progress, healed, gotten better. he has worked away at himself until he made himself more of a tragic masterpiece than a messy splash of unfinished painting and blurry mottled colours. 

he lives with four friends, close friends who have been with him through everything and taught him how to healthily feel not only happiness and love but also let go of and exhale all of that pain and anger and violence he could not control. that was not his own but haunted him. aching to be placed somewhere else than inside his body which was too small to feel such hurt and heartbreak.

he got therapy after many tries with many therapists who botched up he eventually found one who worked and helped him look for new hobbies which would channel and turn his pessimistic and negative energy and burdens into something more beautiful or better managed. he slowly learned to trust himself at least a little bit more once again. she also helped him on a journey of distance without isolation so he could understand he would not do the harm he always imagined he was the root of. 

when he leaves his family, it is in the middle of the night with packed bags and not much else to his name. he thinks it'll be easier on everyone that way, no letters or texts or calls. in fact he breaks his phone and switches it out for a cheap new one when he's ready to be contacted once again. there are no goodbyes.

he spends four years just crashing on his friend's floor of their apartment who are a couple who practically raise him and take him under their wing and simply accept him in all his flawed and closed off excellence, simply listening and accepting and providing a safe haven without expectations of any kind. 

he works on painting, writing, gardening anything that will teach him how to love and nurture better than he did before. to see beauty and nourish it instead of destroy it or twist it. he learns piano finding romance in the music. 

he got over his eating disorder and began cooking, become a rather skilled chef with his friends help and had more regular meals especially under his guidance when he couldn't cook then the other would do it for him. feeding him steadily every day to build his appetite back up again. 

he took more care to exercise and keep his body and health much more good, nothing amazing but finally the average. he also got a couple jobs all that would help him with communication and learning new talents or discovering his own further.

slowly he stopped flinching every time someone tried to touch or did touch him. small touches from his friends ease him along, an arm slung around his shoulders, a hand in his own, a gentle hug. he finds a makeshift home and love and happiness where everyone isn't trying overly hard to find a way to nurse it into him.

eventually recently he has came to a point where he can cancel his therapy sessions comfortably and flush those pills to help with that anxiety and unbearable sadness. somehow he learns how to breathe again all by himself without someone else coaching him through it all.

EXTRA: 

woojin is gay so romance plots are only applicable to other male muses however in the past before he knew of his sexuality he could’ve had an ex girlfriend or two!

potential romance plot inspiration heavily inspired by the poem yes & no by natalie wee. there’s a lot of flexibility on this one in terms of timeframing so just hit me up to discuss it more after reading the poem if you’re interested !!

the usual plots are of course up for grabs: childhood best friend, current best friend, ex’s, first love, friends he met through therapy, friends he met in the foster system, confidant, coffee fix partner, fake dating, study partner ( he’s studying music ofc and he specializes in production ), someone he writes lyrics for, someone he writes lyrics with or produces with, someone who makes him realize how amazing his lyrics actually are and how much potential lies within that talent as a career goal, his muse, i imagine he works a part time job as a waiter so do with that what u will maybe they can be work buddies?, also does babysitting every now and then for extra cash, etc. 

[missmeinyourbones]

ok but what about gojo + l “what will become of me once i’ve lost my novelty?” 🥺

“WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME ONCE I’VE LOST MY NOVELTY?” (S. GOJO)

part of L’s RED (TV) EVENT!

“Satoru,” your melodic voice draws him out of his own thoughts.

He assumes it’s not the first time you’ve called him, based off of your slightly agitated tone. Not willing to risk you repeating his name a third time, he finally begins to tune in to your words. 

“Are you even listening?” you nag him a little bit, hands on your hips while you stare at him from the kitchen sink. He thinks you look like a scolding parent, and it excites him for the future.

He chuckles, rubbing his temples while encouraging you to continue, “Sorry, sweets, what’d you say?”

You step away from the dish you were washing, turning the faucet off and making your way towards your lover. Your gentle steps cause the floorboards beneath you to slightly creak—if they hadn’t made such a god-awful noise, you don’t think he would have noticed you slowly crawling his way.

You throw the dishrag in hand over your shoulder, crossing your arms as you lean against the kitchen’s entryway, “You’re quiet, which terrifies me.”

He chuckles again at your confession. He hates worrying you, but he also loves the way that he can be honest with you. He feels like he’s caught between a rock and a hard place, so he puts the ball into your hands with a simple and vague response.

“Just thinking,” he mumbles, uncharacteristically. Of all the years you’ve known Satoru Gojo, he has never once mumbled. He loves the sound of his own voice far too much to do so. 

With the ball in your court, you push. You always do when it comes to his softer side; it’s one of the many things he appreciates about you.

“About anything in particular?” you egg him on further, praying for him to use you. Lean on you. 

“Yeah-” he begins, surprised by his own willingness. “Yeah,” he repeats, “About how silly it is that I’m the honored one, huh?”

He feels your eyes harden on him, shocked by the unprecedented topic of conversation. “Sometimes I think that’s all there is to me.”

While Satoru was annoying and brash and proud, he was also human. It’s in moments like this one that you remember how fragile he truly is. He’d never expressed any ill-will towards his ability or status—usually using it to brag in a teasing manner. As he sits in front of you, the usually towering and abrasive man looks small. 

Noticing your perplexed expression, he goes back to what he knows best. He attempts to lighten the matter with humor.

He quips, “Ya know? Like, what will become of me once I’ve lost my novelty?”

It’s that comment that moves your feet from the kitchen and into his lap. You force your way between him and the table, determined to make yourself fit. You were always so determined, Satoru pines; it’s how you managed to worm your way under his skin, into his heart.

Now comfortable on his lap, you force him to look at you. You remove his glasses, gently placing them onto the table. You want to be able to see his eyes while you caress the curvature of his face.

You hold his jaw and speak with conviction, “You’ll still be mine, just like you are right now.” His gaze softens as you watch his pupils dilate. He’s never looked more vulnerable than he does in your arms, right now. “That’s not something that fades with time,” you conclude.

His goofy grin returns as he mocks your soft words, “Yeah? There’s no expiration date in the fine print of your loving-me-clause?”

“No. If there was one, it’d be up by now.”

He laughs. A real one. It uses his whole body as his head is thrown back, eyes closed with amusement. He loves when your quick like that. You love him, regardless of how quick he can be.

“Thank you, angel.”

NOTE: anon, i need to personally thank you for requesting this. this specific lyric paired w satoru is INSANE...i want to cry just thinking about it. it fits him so well, i am so thankful u paired the two together. i hope you enjoy reading this just as much as i did writing it <3

[angellissy]

Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G  F O R  T H E  S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat​ who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

[smutsonian]

Hello love 😺 umm can u pls please please write dark!steve x reader, where he bully and verbally harrases the reader but somehow kind of love her but just treat her bad and degrade her but when someone else tryna make her fun of her then he shows who she belongs to kinda stuff (pls if u gonna write pls make it so it so dark🥺🥺)...... Feel free to ignore tho cause i'm sorry this seems so long 😬😬🧡

2/2 Hey it's me again 👋👋😬who just send u a request of a long one shot of dark steve rogers x reader where he bullys her but i just forget to tell u that can u pls make that a Highschool AU pls , i really forget to tell u 😬😬

bully

steve rogers x reader

summary: Steve bullies you after you rejected him and he soon regrets it.

warnings: dark, non-con, violence, bullying, blood, self hatred, insecurities, psychological trauma, they are of age, please don’t read if you’re not comfortable with any of these. Not proofread.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: just wanted to post something so this may or may not suck

masterlist

Steve wasn’t always a bully.

It’ll probably be because you hurt his ego.

Maybe he asked you out one time but you were new in school and wary of people so you politely declined his offer.

For Steve, he saw that as you humiliating him in front of the school. The new girl just rejected the Steve Rogers. 

Steve would be like ‘who do you think you are?’ and the cheeky flirty guy he was before becomes someone else.

He started spitting insults here and there, never missing a day to make you feel weird about yourself. 

The soft and beautiful blue eyes from before turned dark and hostile towards you.

Sweet words turned harsh.

Flaws that you didn’t see before started surfacing.

Suddenly your hair is too messy and all over the place. Your skin is too dead and it makes you look creepy. Your eyes are too dull and sad that you don’t seem friendly anymore. Your nose is weird, and so on. The list never ended and you started to change from the person you are before.

Steve made sure to make you feel the way you made him feel.

You suddenly became closed off and did everything to be unnoticed. It’s better to be a nobody than be the center of everyone’s torment.

Steve is a popular guy and it didn’t take long for everyone to follow his lead.

You’re just trying to finish your last year and finally leave the hell you created for yourself but Steve swore to make your life a living hell.

“If it isn’t my favorite dead girl!” Steve’s voice booms through the hallway, the chatters immediately stopped to witness the popular guy, and now, the loser of the whole school interact.

“Got somewhere else to be?” His voice was sweet as well as his eyes but you know, everyone knows that his intentions are far from being sweet.

“What? Your tongue isn’t working anymore? Bet it rot with your dead body and now everything is decaying with you, is that it?” He raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for his friends to back him up which they did. Steve smirked as the hallway started being filled with thunderous laughter and they’re all directed at you.

You did nothing but bite your lip in hopes of stopping yourself from crying in front of everyone. You can’t afford another round of teasing.

You fake a laugh before turning away from him and started heading to your last class.

Steve hated the way your eyes looked at his with nothing but sadness.

Your sadness wasn’t even directed at him but at yourself.

He just wanted to make you feel the way you made him feel so you can understand that the both of you belong to each other.

You’re fucking perfect and Steve is far from that. He might be the most popular guy in school but you were way out of his league so he had to bring you down just a little bit.

But it got out of hand.

He had no idea how to stop what he started but then something happened.

He was just on his way out of detention, the hallways are now empty, everyone has already gone home and Steve was used to that. What he wasn’t used to is the sound of whimpering. More importantly, it’s the sound of you whimpering.

He wasted no time and ran towards the direction of your voice and as he turned the corner, his blood turned red hot in seconds. He’s seeing nothing but red at the sight in front of him.

Mrs. Roberts asked you to come to her office before going home to discuss something and you didn’t know whether to cry because of sadness or cry because someone actually cares for you.

Mrs. Roberts shared her worries with you because your once impressive grades started pummeling down to the point where it can cause problems with your chances of graduating.

Mrs. Roberts gave you special assignments to do so you can pass her subject and you thanked her for that. You even hugged her so tightly and dwelled on the affection for too long which worried her.

“Is there something wrong, dear?” She asked, eyes glossing over yours with worry.

You decided against telling her and just shook your head at her. “Do you think I’m failing my other subjects? What if I don’t graduate in time?”

Mrs. Roberts was quick to calm you down, telling you how the meeting with the teachers went and even joked about you purposely failing only her subject which you laughed at.

You left her office with a smile, chuckling at the memories of her jokes when you suddenly felt an impact on your left side and then your right side when you hit the lockers with a loud bang, making you whimper in pain.

“The fuck are you laughing at, dead girl?” An unfamiliar voice says above you.

You look up to see a boy a year younger than you but before you could reply, his foot started meeting your abdomen, your sides, or whatever part of you that he could kick. At some point, he was able to kick your face which made your ears ring in pain so you decided to shield your head with your arms to block his kicks.

“I don’t know why Steve never did this before but I am doing it for him. He’ll be so proud of me! I can take over his place after he graduates.”

You didn’t even realize that you weren’t receiving his kicks anymore but the sound of kicks can still be heard.

You peak out of your arms to see the young boy’s body across from you on the floor, receiving hits from a large man above him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, punk?!” Steve’s voice growls in anger and you didn’t know if you were thankful that you weren’t on the receiving end of his growl but it still terrified you.

“M-making you proud! I’m doing the thing you can’t seem to do!” The younger boy spits out red liquid before scrambling away after Steve pulls him up by his collar.

“If I fucking see you touch her again, you’ll never be able to see a day again, you understand?” Steve pushes the boy away before looking back at you, all the anger on his face turns into something softer.

He scrambles towards you, kneeling before you and helping you so gently until your leaning on the lockers, heaving at the pain that the boy caused you.

Steve continued to stare at you, eyes observing you before his hands gently prodded your face.

“You’re bleeding…” He murmurs before pulling out a cloth and dabbing it softly on the wound, apologizing when you flinched at his touch which surprised you.

“W-what are you doing?” Your voice trembles and Steve only sighed in response, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Why did you have to reject me?” He asked, carefully putting a band-aid over the scar and kissing it so gently with his pink lips. You stared at him in shock and confusion.

“Wh-What the f-fuck?!” You try to push him off but he only gripped both of your wrists with one hand while the other caress your face.

“We would’ve been so happy together. You would’ve had a great experience but you always manage to put yourself in danger… Why didn’t you just let me in?” The hand on your face goes to the back of your neck and your struggles were no use when he easily pulled you into a kiss, his tongue easily forcing itself into your mouth and coating and mixing your saliva with his.

“I should’ve not given up but you… you hurt me, ya know?” He pulls away before admiring your face.

“I lied though. You’ve always been so beautiful. I just wanted you to give me a chance but then you started avoiding me more.” His jaw clenches before his grip on your wrists tighten.

His other hand goes under your shirt before fondling your breasts through your bra. He leans in towards your neck before sniffing and moaning as he continues to massage your breasts while his hips started to grind against yours in need.

He growls against your neck as his grind started to get violently fast.

“Ahh fuck!” His hips stopped before he’s shaking against your body.

Your eyes widened at him as you looked down at the front of his pants which now had a stain on the crotch area.

“D-did you just—”

“See what you do to me?” He laughs before kissing your lips once more, the hand on your breasts trailing down before he forces it down your pants and under your panties to feel your core with his big hands.

His fingers make a quick swipe up your slit making you shiver at the feeling of him on your sensitive area.

“And I see what I do to you…” He inserts one finger, groaning at the way your walls are tightening around just one finger.

Steve swore he could cum again at the thought of his cock entering your very tight pussy.

“We didn’t start strong but we have all the time in the world now…” He places a kiss wet on your lips, continuing his assault on your core while his thumb finds its way to your clit.

Steve enjoys the way your hips jolted at the feeling and he smiled.

“I will help you graduate with honors and then after that,” he pulls back from the kiss before smiling at you.

“We’ll start over. I’m never leaving you again. I’m never going to give up on you. We’ll finally have what we both deserved.” He feels your walls fluttering around his one finger so he added another, thumb flicking your nub harder, forcing you to release.

“Mmm!” You bit your bottom lip as an orgasm was forced out of you, pleasure showering you as your eyes shut tightly.

“So fucking beautiful…” Steve pulls his hand out of your jeans before quickly placing his fingers inside his mouth to taste you.

“So fucking delicious as well.” He helps you up carefully before guiding you out of the school and into his car.

“I’ll drive you to school and from school from now on. There won’t be a time when I’m not watching over you. I’ll protect you from now on. I’m going to right every wrong thing I did to you, baby…” He leans down to kiss your lips then your head before fixing your seatbelt for you and starting the car.

“Everything will be better now.”

----

a/n: been trying to write but it’s just not working rn but im trying to come thru hehe

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Marvel: @jemzeraion

[baby-bearie]

the 7 ways he’ll tell you he loves you

(NOT MY GIF ALL CREDIT TO OWNER)

jj maybank x reader

taglist: @snarkystarkey @sunflowermotel @howdyherron @drew-starkey @maraseavey @outerbanqs @yelyahryan @obxwriterfan @avashroom @rewindlr @raekenliar @imsad05 @ceruleanjj @dolanfivsosxox @heyhargrove @lashtonandmalumsbaby @beautyandthebleh @pancahke @outrbank @johnbsflowr @corleigh @poguemacking @maybe-maybanks @katie-avery @5sos-seavey

a/n: this is unedited, so sorry about the mistakes. i saw a lot of trouble going around with plagiarism on wattpad and i did report a lot of books with stolen fics and props to you guys for getting a few actually taken down!! plagiarism and theft of intellectual property is HURTFUL, writers put SO MUCH into their work, and it’s not so you can get some votes on a wattpad page. also, boys using lovely as a nickname is ;alsdjffenve. 

How long is forever supposed to be? Months? Years, decades, lifetimes? Forever was supposed to be you and JJ. 

Forever feels like the 15 minutes that he’s been fighting you for. 

“Y/n, I don’t get why you’re turning this into such a big deal.” 

“Stop doing that. Stop acting like I don’t get to be mad. I do! I am! You know, you always do this JJ.” “I do not.” “You do. I’m sick of it. I’m- I’m sorry, JJ, but I’m done. I don’t wanna do this anymore,” you sniffle. You refuse to cry. Not in front of him. “We’re going in circles, I really think it’s time to, to just call it quits.” You shrug. JJ is silent. You wait, you yourself need to process what just came out of your mouth. 

JJ is on the couch. He leans on his knees with his elbows and his head is hanging low. He nods. Slowly at first, then quicker. 

“Okay,” he sighs, “You’re right. You’re right.” You nod, relieved that he agreed with you. A bigger part of you was upset that he agreed with you. It would’ve been nice if he had put up some kind of a fight. 

“So, uh, I’ll go.” “Yeah.”

You collapsed onto the couch, rubbing a hand over your face. A brightly colored magazine was open on the coffee table in front of you. Cheetah printed bold letters spelled out a headline: 

The 7 Ways He’ll Tell You He Loves You.

Talk about bad timing. You flipped the cover back over it. 

#1: He’ll flat out tell you. 

“You know, you’re one of the dumbest boys I’ve ever met.” “Right back at you.” JJ grinned up at you. “Oh, low blow, dude.” You laughed, tackling him down onto the bed. JJ fell back with a loud oof, the breath knocked out of his stomach. 

“One day, you’ll do that and I won’t get up, you know that? You’re actually going to be the death of me.” “Oh, I hope so. I’m already sick of you.” “This is literally you confessing to my murder.” He laughed, shoving you off him so he could hover over you instead. “They won’t arrest me, I’m too cute.” You gave him a cheesy smile. 

“That you are,” JJ smirked, leaning down to press soft kisses into the skin between your jaw and your neck. You hummed in approval as he pulled away. You fiddled with the necklace which dangled from his neck. “I love you,” he muttered. 

“ ‘Til I murder you?” 

He pecked your lips. “Til you murder me.” 

He couldn’t have fought for you? Put up some sort of argument? This was a stupid battle to pick with yourself. You were the one who instigated the break up.  

Maybe you weren’t expecting him to actually agree with you. You weren’t expecting him to let you end things.

#2: He’ll protect you. 

“Maybank, I swear to god, if you don’t get us down from here right now I will throw your ass off this cliff.” “It’s really not that high up!” “Holy shit!” You yelped and turned to bury your face in JJ’s chest. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you. 

“Hey, you’re okay, alright? You’re okay. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I got you. It’s okay, I got you.” JJ assured you, laughing a little through his words at how tightly you were clutching his tank top. 

The next couple of weeks hurt like hell. It’s a sad process, trying to leave behind someone you were rooted to so deeply. You’d see him at parties or even just out on the street sometimes. 

His eyes always followed you. When you were dating, you were amazing at being able to tell when JJ was watching you.  A shiver used to run over your spine, and you’d turn and immediately meet his eyes. He’d smirk and raise his hand to salute you. 

God, how you missed that smirk. 

Apparently, after you stopped dating, your body never forgot what it felt like when his eyes were on you. These days, when you turned to look at him his eyes were intense. He held your eyes for a second. One second when you could forget how you cried and how he left without kissing  you goodbye. 

Then he looked away. 

#3: He thinks of you when you’re not with him. 

“Hey, baby, look at this.” JJ threw the door to the Chateau open and marched over to you. His smile was proud, like a child trying to impress his mom. He stuck out his hand and dropped a small square magnet into yours. You flipped it over to see the front. 

It was brown and painted badly to look wooden. There were two u-shaped magnets painted on as well, and it read, ‘I can’t help but be attracted to you’. You read this out loud and JJ grinned, ecstatic with his choice.

 “Where did you get this?” You snorted. “It was at some cheesy gift shop. It made me think of you so I had to buy it.” “It’s perfect. I love it.” You stood to kiss his cheek and slid the magnet onto the fridge. “You’re very welcome.” 

JJ has always been nearly unreadable. He’s scarily good at hiding his thoughts and feelings from everyone around him, often including his best friends. You knew John B at least had some knowledge of JJ’s emotions, but you doubted the rest of the group did. 

You had at least managed to make a couple cracks in the hard walls he had built up around himself. 

#4: He shows you his emotions. 

You gaped in awe at the bruises littering his torso. You had no idea just how bad it was. You had no idea why he never told you. 

“I can’t take him anymore, Y/n, I can’t take it- can’t do it anymore.” JJ sobbed, his arms tightening around you. You guided his head down to your shoulder. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, J. C'mere.” You took a deep breath. You would not cry. Not when he needed you to be strong. “Let it out. You’re okay now.” You locked eyes with John B, terrified.

His tears soaked the skin on your shoulder and the first of many that night fell into his hair. 

But since the breakup, from what you saw of him you couldn’t get anything. His face was expressionless every time you made eye contact with him.You had seen him smile at his friends once or twice, but nothing real. JJ was very good at fake smiles. They looked nearly identical to his real ones. But you loved him for long enough to know what a real one should look like. 

#5: He’ll try and make you laugh. 

“Why are you sad, lovely? Stop it, I hate seeing you sad.” JJ pulled you on his chest, brushing hairs out of your face. You shook your head, tucking your face into his chest. 

“Ok. Fine. You leave me no other choice.” JJ sighed loudly. “What do you call Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson when he tells time?” 

He waited a second for an answer that never came. “Dwayne ‘The Clock’ Johnson.” 

You laughed abruptly, but it came out as a sob. You didn’t lift your head. 

“Alright, you want more, fine. What do you call Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson when he won’t shut up? Dwayne ‘The Talk’ Johnson. What do you call Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson when the doorbell is broken? Dwayne ‘The Knock’ Johnson. What do you call Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson when he wears comfortable, breathable footwear? Dwayne ‘The Croc’ Johnson.” 

Your whole body was shaking with uncontrollable laughter now. You were certain that JJ had been practicing those at some point. 

“No more, no more, please,” You finally lifted your head and JJ wiped away a fallen tear with his thumb. You choked on a laugh. “So how long did it take you to come up with those?” 

JJ frowned. “What do you mean, I came up with those like just now!” He laughed.

“Okay, sure, JJ.” “Don’t test me, I have like, 8 more.” 

You think the worst part about this is being lonely. You’re surrounded by comforting friends who try and take you places and get you to have fun but at the end of the night you go home to an empty bed and you wake up in an empty bed.

And every morning without fail, you’ll wake up and reach for him. And every morning without fail, he won’t be there. 

#6: He’ll make romantic gestures. 

“JJ? Where are you?” You sat up, groggily. He wasn’t in bed, that’s for sure. 

“G’morning, lovely,” JJ strolled into your room, carrying a tray. You propped yourself up on the headboard and took it from him. 

“Aw, JJ, what is all this?” “Breakfast.” “You made breakfast?” 

JJ stole a berry off your plate and popped it in his mouth, nodding. He took a seat near your legs. 

JJ can’t cook for shit. 

“Baby, it’s okay, it’s the thought that counts, I thought it was sweet!” “Nah, dude, that was shitty, I’m sorry. That bread tasted like a frying pan.” “The berries were good.” “That’s because all I did to them was wash them.” 

You hit up another party with your friends. They were the best kind of distraction. You pulled up the green bikini strap that was falling down your shoulders. This was his favorite top. 

“Y/l/n!” You heard a voice shout. “Y/n!” 

You turned to see who was shouting your name and smiled at John B. “Hey, Routledge, good to see you!” “Hey, Y/n. Look, I know you guys aren’t on talking terms- “John B, no,” You interrupted, but he kept talking over you. 

“But, please, Y/n, he won’t talk to anybody and we’re all worried about him.” “I really can’t, I don’t think he- “He’s in the van. Driver’s seat. Thank you!” And then he was gone. You huffed. 

You could see the van from here and you could barely make out a figure sitting in the front seat. 

You stood there for a second before you forced yourself to get over it and you made your way around dancing teenagers to the van. 

You pulled open the door and climbed into the passenger seat. He turned to look at you. 

“Hi,” you forced out. This felt uncomfortably unfamiliar. “Hey, Y/n.” 

“How are you?” He asked. He was being formal. He was never formal with you. 

“Fine, I guess. What about you?” 

He said nothing. “Small talk? Is that what we are now? We have to make small talk?” He laughed, exasperated. 

“I know you hate small talk.” 

“What happened to us?” His eyes are wet, and he doesn’t look at you, just stares straight ahead. “I made a mistake.” You said it out loud. You hadn’t forced yourself to admit it yet. That you were wrong for putting him in this position. 

“What?” He turned to look at you. 

“I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I think some part of me thought you wouldn’t actually let me do it. That you would fight to make us work.” You shrugged. Your eyes watered up. 

“Well, I didn’t want to break up with you.” He spoke quickly. 

“What?” Now it was your turn to be confused. 

“Of course I never wanted to leave you, Y/n. I love you.” “But you said I was right. And you left.” “I thought that was what you wanted. I want you happy. If that means I have to get out of the picture, then I’m gone. I left because I thought you wanted me to go.” 

You scoff. “So, all this time we’ve just been playing ourselves.” 

JJ laughs, a wet one. “You know, nobody told me just how fucking useless I was going to be without you.” He finally really looks at you. 

There’s a half smile on his face and his eyes are full of tears. 

You leap into him, and he meets you halfway. He buries his forehead on your shoulder and his hand is holding the back of your head. “I missed you. I missed you so much, lovely.” He cries into your hair. 

#7: He’ll do anything if it means you’re happy. 

[fairydollsteps]

Helloz! Was wondering for my request of u could do head canons/ or short scenario of y/n being like an older sibling figure to tanjiro? 🤧

Love reading ur stuff! I hope u have a good day n take care babez! :>

Sure! Thank you for your concern and compliment on my work! Don’t worry! I am doing alright! I hope what I wrote is what you wanted! Enjoy Reading!

Tanjiro With a Brother Figure!Reader

I feel like Tanjiro only sees you as a brother figure when you portray yourself as someone powerful in the Demon Slayer Corps. Like you manage to save all the innocent people without them getting hurt. That will be very admirable for him.

Also, a bonus if you are compassionate and kind. Tanjiro would start to admire even more.

So I am just going to make you a Hashira and your first meeting would be at the Demon Slayer Headquarter for breaking a rule. His first impression of you would be that you look cold and stern that he is afraid.

But soon he warms up to you  when he was assigned a mission with you. You have shown yourself to be rational and gracious. His admiration for you started when you, as mentioned, protect all the innocent people including him The demon was too strong for him to handle so you are willingly helping him.

Basically, he would start to idolize you like Rengoku except that you are not crazy or loud.

Starting off, you are quite older than him which makes you have the urge to protect and take care of him like a little brother and Tanjiro would see you like an elder brother figure.

Tanjiro is the eldest in the family, always taking care of his little brothers and siblings to survive so the feeling of being cared about by someone seems foreign for him but he starts to like to be in your care.

But of course, he must know not to always be dependant on you as he himself is also a demon slayer who is responsible to protect others.

As a Hashira, you would always train him and his other two musketeers to improve their breathing technique wherever you have some free time to use.

 Let’s just say your training is quite harsh and difficult for their level but that’s training. This leads to Zenitsu crying because is torturing he said while Tanjiro is determined to improve himself so is Inosuke who is challenging Tanjiro.

But manage to get all become stronger than before quite fast and they all started bowing you to show their gratitude to them even you say to get up because this is too much and you all are in a public. 

The other Hashira is looking at you, telling you that they have officially seen you as their master.

You would treat them to dinner for their hard work every time you work with them after a mission. 

They would also start to like you more and follow you around like ducks whenever you are hanging out with them.

Tanjiro would try to show you off that he has improved with your training and your time and effort weren’t gone to waste while teaching him. This makes you very proud.

Tanjiro would also compliment you profusely when you make yourself cool while beheading the demons.

Like “Y/N-san! You are so cool! Please be my teacher!” “You manage to do that without breaking a sweat? Amazing!” and so on. He idolizes you too much.

You have proposed a thought of yours to him that you might make him as your tsuguko so you can teach and care for him including for Inosuke and Zenitsu of course.

You have meet Nezuko one time, probably at night where you and Tanjiro just complete a mission. You are still suspicious of her and ready to draw your sword just in case. But you then put your guard down when you see her interaction with Tanjiro. Is adorable and filled with genuine family love.

Nezuko would also start to like after some time and always demand you to pet her head. She would also start to see you like an elder brother lol.

You manage to get the two Kamado siblings to see you as their elder brother.

Okay, that’s all from me now. The End.

Thank you for reading and have a good day!

[free-pool-trash]

Okay, can I requests all free! boys (maybe add for albert and kaede too) with s/o who is youtuber (they s/o is pretty famous though) and what kinds of video would they like to do together. I love your writing and tq for it and don't forget to stay safe🥰🥰

Hey lovely! 💕 i love this request so imma pump it out rn (hey Free! queens haven’t seen yall in a while, how we doing? 😎)

Im just gonna do for style 5 + Albert and Kaede for now but let me know if you want the rest 😉

This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot so lets get into it 🤩

Did i proof read this? No ❤️

Haru:

He’s that boyfriend who supports you in everything you’re doing while simultaneously having absolutely no clue what you’re doing

For example; vlogging absolutely boggled his mind at first

“Who are you talking to?”

“Oh I’m just vlogging, do you wanna say hi?”

“Vlogging?”

“Yes, say hi.”

“BuT tO wHo?”

After a while he gets used to it though

“You’re vlogging? Hey guys.”

You have to beg him to be in videos otherwise he won’t do it

When he does though it’s usually a good old “How well do we know each other challenge” and sometimes you can even manage to rope him into one of those “picking each others clothes” videos

He’ll make appearances in vlogs though

Actually quite likes holding the camera

He ends up seeing fans in public and when they come up to him he’s like “👁👄👁 how do you know who i am?” But after the initial shock he’s really nice to them

Will facetime you so they can say hi

Absolutely 100% gains a fanbase of his own

All the comments under your videos with him are the funniest things ever with some gems such as:

“Haru really said 😐(😍🥰)😐”

“POV: ur the camera seeing Haru actually smiling ❤️👄❤️”

“#saveharu”

Makoto:

Supportive king!!!

Hands down your number one fan

He’s always offering to help you with your videos

Is always down with being in videos with you

His favourite thing is making videos like story times and doing gaming videos with you

Which are usually pretty chaotic and funny

The gaming videos provide your subs with a lot of cute y/n-makoto content

“Babe I suck at this”

“No you don’t, you’re the best” he says it really quietly while smashing buttons and taking his game very seriously

Vlogs are the best too, he talks to the camera like he’s on a FaceTime

“Oh! Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re doing good.”

Your fans love him

You’ve earned the “mom and dad” title

Since they love him so much you often let him take over daily vlogs

“Hey guys. Y/n isn’t feeling great today so you’re stuck with me!”

The comment section:

“Hi dad 🥺😭”

“Imagine having a boyfriend who loves u enough to literally do your job for you when you’re sick 😭😭😭😭”

“Whose gonna tell y/n that her boyfriend contemplated bringing home like 5 different cats 😳”

Everyone wants you to give him an e-boy transformation

You’re still trying to convince him

Rei:

I think he’d really enjoy doing videos with you

Not camera shy at all

The man has a lot to say

His partner has a beautiful online presence and he’s super proud of you!

He’d love making videos that have a little bit of competitiveness to them

Loves a challenge

Playing boyfriend tags with him is stressful af because he has the date of everything you’ve ever done memorised

Absolutely BODIES the swapping clothes for a day videos

He’s a really good sport and your fans really like him

“Rei looks better in a skirt than I do, you guys...”

“I simply can’t help my calf muscles, my love.”

Not great with vlogging

The comments you get:

“Rei when the vlog camera comes out in the mall 🙈 i do not see🙈”

“I wanna see them wear matching outfits 👀”

“Y/n please ask Rei to start up a studying channel 😭”

You actually rope him into making a study tips video with you

To be fair he does most of the talking and you just listen and look at him like 🤩🥰

He loves interacting with fans

He’s always liking and commenting on fan edits of you on Instagram

Nagisa:

Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien.

Most chaotic baby on camera

Craft! Videos!

Also chaotic challenges

King of gaming videos

He also is willing to let you put make up on him

“Nagisa, I’m begging you, please sit still.”

Absolutely does not sit still but gives you a lil kiss

He’s so sweet on and off camera

Most of your vlog content is just him doing golden retriever boy stuff

Your audience adore him

Videos come up in your suggestions and they’re all like, “Nagisa being chaotic for ten minutes straight”, “Y/n trying to get Nagisa to pay attention for 4 minutes.”

He gets so excited when your doing videos together, “Yeah guys, this is actually my channel now. I’m taking it over.”

“No he isn’t.”

“Yes I am. Sorry babe but you’re fired.”

Mr. Steal your channel

Rin:

😍😍😍 am i right?

First of all; he’s such a heart throb

Your fans are obsessed with him

He always wants you to work out with him so you decide to get some content out of it

Video gems like “Eating like my olympian Boyfriend for a week”

“RinRin, how the fuck are you even still alive?”

“It’s a salad, Y/n, not a bowl of air.”

“Who the fuck orders a salad at a restaurant, Rin?”

“I’m so sorry that you guys have to hear this profanity.” He says to the camera as if he doesn’t swear every five seconds

Those are usually the types of videos you guys make together

The comments you guys get when he’s feeling lovey in a video

“Oh to be Y/n 😓”

“Alexa, play sweater weather by the neighbourhood”

“The way he looks at her. Im in pain.”

“If they ever break up, i want you to put me down.”

Vlogging at the movies is hilarious because 99% of the time when you come out he’s crying

“Guys please stop telling Rin to take his shirt off on camera, he literally can’t say no and it’s distracting.”

Rin swimming content is highly requested

And what can you say? You give the people what they want 😌✨

Albert:

He’s into it

Once the camera comes on, this man becomes a comedic legend

“Hey guys, today we’re uh, doing something. I’m gonna be honest I don’t know, I didn’t ask. My girlfriend pulls out the camera and I do what I’m told.”

“We’re going to give you different aesthetics.”

He’s like 🤗 “oh okay go for it”

Very complient

He’s down for absolutely anything

“Content is content baby”

Sometimes he just comes into your video room and hijacks your videos

“Thought I’d pop in and say hi”

And by pop in and say hi he actually means sit beside you and look at the camera like he’s on The Office

Oh my god do the fans love this man

He trolls them

He sees comments like, “Y/n is so cute! 😍” and he’s like, “That’s why she has a boyfriend.”

They love him though and if he sees them out in public he’s super sweet

Kaede:

(Im ngl this dude kinda scares me)

Probably has to be coaxed into making videos with you

I get the impression that this man is cocky on camera

Did someone say ✨pda✨

“K, I’m making a video”

“So?”

Doesn’t really interact with fans

Or pay too much attention when he’s actually filming with you

He doesn’t really care but he does it because it makes you happy

He’s more responsive when it comes to vlogs

“I’ve convinced y/n to come to the pool with me, she doesn’t swim but she looks hot in a swimsuit. Not as good as I do, but still.”

You have to cut a lot of the stuff he says out of videos

He makes so many innuendos

✨comments✨:

“It’s the way Kaede doesn’t care about literally anything for me 🙈”

“Someone please check on Y/n, she’s TIRED 😩😓.”

[hellothere-generalangsty]

If ur open to requests could u do how the members of the bad batch would react to Reader having lots of scars and being insecure about them? I know it’s kind of a heavy topic though so if ur not up to it that’s totally ok!

Hi anon, thank you for the ask! I am indeed open for requests, and if anyone is interested in making one, you can check our this post!

You did well sending this my way; even though they sometimes carry painful reminder, scars are not something to be ashamed of - I think. They play a part in telling your story; wether it be about your clumsiness or battles you fought against someone else or yourself.

I think that's the mindset the boys would have regarding scars - especially since three of them have visible ones.

It can be read as either platonic or romantic, up to you!

TW: scars, mention of self-harm, mention of accidents and surgeries(bad fall, fractured bones, burns), mention of pain and blood, clumsiness, you being insecure and blaming yourself on some occasions for your scars, stabbing and training going a bit wrong

Hunter: clumsiness gone wrong

It's no secret to Hunter that you're very clumsy, he saw you tripping on your feet and dropping mugs and datapads more than any other memeberof the Batch ever did

But he didn't expected you to be that clumsy

"Who did that to you?!" he asked as you took of shirt, revealing barely healed stab wounds and burns

"Uh... I-I did" you barely confessed, looking down. "I tried to train and it went... Well, not so good. "

He came closer to take a look, his fingers stopping a few centimeters aways from your skin, and you couldn't look away, afraid of the contact he could make

You grabbed the closest top you could find and hurried to put it on, hoping for Hunter to drop it, but he didn't

"How did you stab yourself? "

"Hunter, that's not important. It's healed, it's hidden, let's not talk about it anymore." And you left before he could think of an answer

He didn't brought the topic back, until you trained with him, and managed to catch the blade instead of the handle of his knife

"I got it." you told him, trying to keep him there, but he followed you to the fresher and took care of cleaning the wound

"It happens. To the best of us."

You barely chuckled, thinking of all the scars you got because your body Moved faster than your brain, because you couldn't double check were you were going, because you had to get them for stupid reasons instead of cool ones

"I don't think you own this one to knocking your head over a pipe, do you?" you asked as you pointed to his scar above his left brow, and he smiled

"No, I don't. But this one," he took of his arm plate and rolled his sleep up to show a scarred patch of skin on his elbow, "I own it to the corner of our table on Kamino."

"And I have one on my chest- don't tell anyone about it okay?" he caught your eyes with a false sense of seriousness that had you nodding in amusement

"Knife training. I told everyone someone tried to stab me; just never told them who it was you know."

Your eyes widened, but the spark quickly faded away as you realised that it was almost impossible for him to stab himself. That was your level of stupidity, not his

"You don't have to lie to me you know. I know I'm clumsy, it's just... I could have avoided all of it but..."

You shrugged, and Hunter allowed himself to grab your shoulder, firm but nice in his hold

"You got these because you trained. Or because you tripped, or because you didn't look twice before you grabbed something. That's who you are and there's no shame in that. "

You rolled your eyes, but his words were soothing you still

When he was done patching up your hand, he gave it a light kiss and led you out of the refresher

"Careful where you put your feet, little warrior." He gently teased you, and knowing that Hunter - Hunter - still saw you the same - he called you a warrior, even through your clumsiness, warmed your heart

Wrecker: injuries

He’s playful and always find ridiculous stories behind his scars, stories he tells everyone asking him, because being clumsy doesn’t take the cool away and he wants to prove it to you

_

Wrecker wouldn't see the problem at first; he quickly learned to love and be proud of his scar, even if it was the consequence of a mission gone wrong

So when he sees you trying to hide the scars running down your neck and under your shirt with cheap space makeup and a scarf, he asks you why you'd do this

"I don't like them. They're ugly, and they make me feel ugly. They shouldn't be there."

He'd grab your hand, gentle, and would ask you to stop for a minute

"You're not ugly", he'd try to confort you, but you would answer with "that's not how I feel, Wrecker" and though the words are spit to his face, he doesn't feel hurt by them

Your shiny eyes, on the other hand, feel like a stab in his heart; and he asks you to sit with him for a minute, just a minute and he'll leave you be if you really want that

So you sit, reluctant, expecting something along the lines of "don't cry, you're beautiful anyway" blah blah

But Wrecker grabs your hand and gently out it on his face, more precisely on his scarred cheek

"First mission," he starts, "we were sent on a Separatist base to blow some stuff up; the usual you know. A generator exploded next to me. "

He's speaking softly, his tone surprisingly low compared to his loud usual self

"It took some time to get used to it - mostly the blind eye and the weakened hearing - but look at me now."

And his smile is so genuine, so caring that you can't help but feel a pinch in your heart

You feel bad about it, because you called yourself ugly and now you realise he might believe you find him ugly too

"I hope it doesn't sound weird, but... You look good with the scar." You try, and the squeeze around your hand comforts you some more

"I was thinking the same about you. Seems like we could be scar- buddies, what d'ya think?"

You appreciate his effort; you truly do; but you know it will take a while before you can look at the long trails on your skin and realise they don't take away any of your beauty or your worth

"Sounds good to me."

It takes you some time to abandon the scarf you always wear, but you eventually do and Wrecker gives you the biggest, proudest smile ever

He tells you you look like a badass and call you "scar-bud" and you can't help but feel good about it

You stopped buying the cheap space makeup; or at least you don't use it to cover up the scars anymore

One day while you're eating with Wrecker, you tell him the story behind them; it's not an easy one but he's here to support you anyway

Tech: self- harm

It get easier to accept them once you've opened up about their story - and Wrecker's nickname for you plays its role too

_

Tech is a man of reason and logic, so when he notices your arms always covered up, even in very warm climates; and the way you flinch every time something or someone tries to grab your wrist, he deduced you were hiding something

So one day, as the team was celebrating another victory before flying back to Kamino, he pulled you apart and confronted you about it

"What's about your arms, really? "

He takes notice of your uncomfortable look, the way you twist your sleeves to keep them tight against your skin

"Nothing, it's just..."

You're not sure about that; you're scared he might mock or scold you; and though you stopped harming yourself long ago, you didn't need someone to make you feel even more ashamed of your past actions

"Nothing important."

"It's important enough for you to keep it secret." He tells you, and for a second you hate the way he's so curious about everything and anything

"Let's just say we all fought battles in the past, and some of them are not to be proud of."

He frowns a bit, but when the realisation hits him, his eyes widens and he let out a soft "oh"

"Yeah, oh." You try to laugh it off, your heart already filled with the painful reminder that you did that to yourself

But Tech doesn't see it this way; he offers a hand to you, and you look at it for a moment, unsure about his intention

"I won't hurt you, I promise"

You reluctantly let go of your sleeves and he grabs your wrist; you almost flinch when you feel the tissue coming up your arm, revealing your scarred skin

You don't even look at it, it's not something you want to remember; rather you want to bury it far from you

You jolt when you feel a light touch against your arm; and another, and another...

When you dare turning your head, Tech is giving each of the lines a feather-light kiss

"A battle is a battle," he whispers against them, "and your victory is something to be proud of. Though I can understand the difficulty in it."

You can't hold the tears back, but weirdly enough you're not feeling sad

He never tells anyone about that night, or every other similar moment that followed; that decision belongs to you and he made it clear he would never step over your privacy

That helps you get more comfortable about it - with him at least - and sometimes, when the night get long and your mind overthinks, you get up and join him in the cockpit

And if you're only the two of you, you strech your arm his way, and he gently rolls up your sleeves to pepper kiss your skin, telling you that's you're doing great, another win for you today, i'm proud of you

And he goes on with the kisses and the praises until you feel better; and if you don't he'll stay there with you, talking about everything that could possibly interest you to help your mind wander off

And you know that if you ever lose the battle one day, he'll be there to hold you and tell you that sometimes we lose, we fall and it feels wrong; but it's okay, because we can always get back up and fight stronger, harder than before

It takes some time, and a lot of work, but one day you sit in your bed and roll your sleeve up; and you gently kiss your skin

Crosshair: open fractures and surgeries

And you realise that you won today, and for the first time you can look at your scars and feel proud of your victory

_

He doesn't have any visible scar; and to be honest he's the one who carries the least marks because of him being a sniper, and therefore always quite isolated on safer grounds

So at first you didn't feel that comfortable with the idea of him knowing about your scars; you didn't liked them, so why would he?

But one day one a pretty rough mission, part of your armour and blacks were torn apart, and once again you got injured

The knock on the refresher made you jolt, and though you protested when he came in, you didn't had the strength (literally) to throw him out

He sat with you in the shower, a mixture of blood and water sliding on the floor, and brought the medical kit closer to him

"I can do it myself." you spit to him, and though he said nothing verbally, his eyes spoke for him

So you sighed and looked away, because if you didn't you were probably going to cry from the pain and the gutting feeling of being so exposed, so vulnerable in front of him

You expected a snarky comment, something about getting sloppy, careless. You could almost hear him- hear it, if you focused a bit-

"Stop that." he muttered as he washed away the clots around your wounds, and you looked at him, confused

"Stop what? Bleeding out? Thank you I'm trying."

He rolled his eyes, but his touch remained soft, treating and bandaging your wound with care and precision

You tried to move away as soon as he was done, but the ache slowed you down in your movement; which he didn't fail to notice

"Make it easy on yourself, let me help."

You frowned, jungling between the pain of your wound and your older scars getting sensitive again

Sometimes they would hurt like a sting - or a stab wound depending of your tolerance - and you couldn't quite explain it to yourself

"I'm fine. I-" you breathed out a difficult sigh, and Crosshair shook his head to your stubbornness

"Does massaging helps?" He asked, and when you gave him a puzzled look he completed " for the scars."

You nodded, but couldn't help the light start when his fingers gently rubbed on your scared thigh

You let him do his work; and he did surprisingly well, asking where it hurt the most, if you needed a massage somewhere else

"Thank you." you finally whispered as he stroke the large scar on your knee, and you can't help but feel the need to justify it. "Open fracture on both legs. Happened a while back, but... Yeah, I had a few surgeries to fix that. "

He nodded to show you he's listening, and his gentle touches invited you to tell him more about that story

The next time he massaged a scar, it was the one on your back; you told him about your fall on a rock and how it almost broke your spine, and he gave you a slightly worried look

"I'm fine." You reassured him, "I just broke a lot of things in my life, and my bones are no exceptions. "

He never asks about them directly, but he'll always gladly listen to the story you tell him as he rub the pain away

Echo: Burns

It helps you a bit with your confidence, because he always look at you like you're some kind of superior being; being able to survive that much injuries is in itself a miracle for him and he never misses an opportunity to remind it to you

_

He, better than anyone else, understands your struggles. He understand the feeling, the shame and the disgust you have toward the marks on your body and your face

He never brushes your feelings off; instead he listens to you when you rant about them, telling him how unfair it is

You hate the sensation under your fingers; the bumps on your cheek and temple, the spot unable to grow hair anymore, the reflect on the mirror

And Echo knows that, and he is angry because you shouldn't feel that way

So he takes it upon himself to boost your confidence and make you feel good about your body

He starts with pets name, "pretty one" "handsome" "beautiful"; and at first you brush it off, but it slowly grows into you

To the point of smiling at the mere thought of him giving you your food ration or your blaster and spontaneously going "here, handsome"

And you may not love your reflection, but you love Echo, and if he can do that for you then you decide you can do it for him too

So it quickly become a thing between you, pet names and compliments about your appearance, and every moment is a good moment to tell them

Fighting droids? Got your back beautiful!

Eating outside? I'm lucky to be seated with the prettiest person out there.

Laying in bed, unable to sleep? I'll hold you tight until you get your beauty sleep.

Getting out of the refresher, parcels of skin wet and exposed? Kenobi has nothing you could envy.

Sometimes, it get rough. You wake up to the ghost feeling of a sharp blade burning your face, and it takes a while to ground you and ease the sensory flashbacks

But Echo is patient, the same way you are with him when the phantom pain strikes him down, leaving him sobbing and shaking against you

That's when you start to realise you're both similar; so eager to see people love themselves, yet so reluctant to apply it to you

"Do you think we deserved it?" He asks once, still shaken by the pain

"No, we didn't." You confessed, spontaneous, "But it happened anyway. So we might as well..."

And you stop, because it's not something you can vocalize; it's something you just both get, you both feel

And when things are tough, when the reflection twists and the tears threatens to roll down, there's always one of you to whisper "we might as well"

That's the thing you hold onto when you feel terrible; knowing that someone understands

Eventually, things get better for both of you; being able to rely one someone, share the pain and the sarcasm and the love opens up a new future for you; one where you can work through the scars, turn them into something you own rather than something that owns you

You still struggle with the whole "loving your body" thing; but now you don't hate it anymore, and that's already a big step

____

It was really interesting to write! I hope it'll help some of you feel more comfortable about your body and your scars 💗

Also I hope you liked it anon, thank you again for sending this ask!

Tags: @allamarisss @loth-wolffe @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @dusk-dawn-and-stars @tacticalsparkles @imalovernotahater @canwestayinthisdream @wakeupjackthisisntfair @namesmox @badbatch-simp24 @lightning-wolffe @maddieskywalker @for-the-love-of-clones @m-e-w-117

@ladykatakuri @firelordillyria @andiebell2023

[shingia]

hey first i just wanted to say that i really love ur writing and ur page i’ve been reading it a lot and i just really like ur writing style! i was wondering if you could do hc’s for the boys comforting a s/o with depression? i’ve been really struggling lately :/ and if possible could you maybe do kenma, hinata and suga? or any one of them or the others! they don’t have to be long if u don’t want, thank u so much♥️♥️

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

ok uh storytime real quick : i just spent about twenty minutes crying in my bathroom and i was about to keep doing that in my bed because what else would i do?:) and just as i was getting to the part where i start aggressively hating all my work here : THIS MESSAGE ? yeah no i started ugly crying 🤧 (happy tears dw)

i rly hope these hcs will bring you as much comfort as you brought me, because whew i am 🎶🎸emotional tonite🎸🎶. anyways i’ll stop talking now : thanks again, i love you and here’s a forehead kiss for you <33

warnings : mention of depression

⇀ 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚 

• kenma wants to be for you who kuroo has been for him, and he’s probably the most attentive of the three because of the similarities with his social anxiety

• for example, he has developed a sixth sense that lets him know when a wave of sadness isn’t far ; and if you’re in public then he’ll have absolutely no problem with ditching everyone to take you away, focusing on you and only you

• honestly he doesn’t even need to talk to make you feel better, his presence alone is already really comforting

• kenma also refuses to sleep before you, because he doesn’t want you to be alone with your thoughts while he’s sound asleep and, therefore, useless

• kenma’s cuddles are usually passive but comfort cuddles ? much more active. back strokes, tight hugs, or just talking about your feelings, telling you about his day…

• oh and also : ♪ shouuulder kisses ♪

• when cuddling, his cats are never far, usually nestling against you to take a nap - they’re almost as soothing as him

• he probably has two or three comfort video games and he’ll offer you to play with him if he senses you need to clear your mind

• this might sound weird but kenma ‘respects’ your tears? like, he’s not the kind of guy that will immediately try to wipe them away, he knows the benefits of a good cry - and he’d prefer to let your body express itself rather than try to repress it

• i feel like he’d buy you little plants to put in your room, that way you have something to care for and it might be a motivation to get out of bed in the morning (bonus point if one of them is named kenma)

⇀ 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚

• hinata is terrified at the thought that he might not know how to properly comfort you, but trust me : he’s really good at it

• just listening to him talk makes it seem like absolutely nothing in this world is impossible. he’s like the embodiment of hope

• i think we can all agree on the fact that his bed is probably really plain and, let’s just say it, boring ; except for the fluffy blanket he bought for you (poor natsu probably thought it was for her)

• and you’re always comfortably swathed in this blanket every time you watch a movie together ; he loves to hold you like a burrito (probably buys himself another one because he really wants to burrito with you is that a verb?)

• he heard that making you list five things you like about yourself could help, and if you don’t know what to say then he’ll gladly do it for you until you start to come up with things of your own

• but hinata doesn’t stop at five things. he’ll list dozens and dozens because complimenting is second nature for him

• so yeah overall expect many many words of encouragement. you’re one of his greatest prides and he wants you to know it

• as cheerful and energetic hinata can be, he also knows when to get serious and just sit down and listen to you opening up about how you feel

• and if you start crying, he’ll have you scrunch your knees up to your chest, hold your whole body at once and rock you in his arms slowly. he likes to think of himself as some kind of human shield

⇀ 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚

• he tries to get you out in the fresh every two days or so, even if it’s only for a few minutes spent sitting in front of your place or his, he’s just glad that he could get some fresh air into your lungs

• he makes you promise to call him or at least text if you need to talk at anytime of day or night

• and if you ever do call him in the middle of the night, he will sound perfectly awake and fresh as a daisy. you’re not and will never be a bother for him

• also, he always ALWAYS calls you after practice, especially if school work makes it impossible for him to physically check on you

• suga tries to create little events you can look forward too. nothing elaborate, maybe just text you that he’ll cook you your favorite meal for dinner, and then show up holding three grocery bags full of your fav snacks and drinks

• he celebrates every single one of your accomplishments : you studied for a test even if you didn’t feel like it ? he’s proud of you ; you tidied up your bedroom ? he’s also proud of you

• overall suga really wants you to feel safe with him, he wants you to know that you’ll never ever be judged. and that’s why he probably opens up about his own struggles too, to let you know that it’s ok to be vulnerable

• on days where you really don’t feel like going out of bed, he’s ready to spend hours repeating you the most reassuring and comforting words until you’re ready to move to the kitchen and drink some water/eat something or just stretch your legs for a bit

• and if he manages to get a few smiles or even chuckles out of you, then he’ll be the happiest man

@catwithangerissues

[satoruvt]

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!” 

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!” 

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?” 

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

-

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

-

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add. 

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh. 

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

[browsing-my-favourite-fandoms]

MonoTodo Established Relationship Headcannons

Part 1  //  Part 2

It’s the first relationship for both Shoto and Neito

 they’ve kept it secret from other classmates tho (even close friends) 

btw, Neito still teases the hell out of Class A and would always search at Shoto’s face for reaction

And other classmates would think Shoto is the “new target” and try to explain him “Monoma is crazy don’t mind him”

Later Monoma would angrily pout and say, “Baby you never react to me!” and sulk for sometime honestly Shoto has started to enjoy teasing him and more often than not he just does that to see Neito’s pout 

To be honest, sometimes Shoto does get irritated during those “Monoma vs Class A” quarrels but not at his boyfriend but at those classmates

sometimes he feels like, “yes neito is crazy and i do mind when he acts so crazily but he is my bf and i get to see all his sides” 

Both of them are really touch-starved and they enjoy each other’s company

They would cuddle 24/7 if they could (but never in public) and Neito would sometimes tease, “Never knew you were so damn clingy. Can’t blame you though, you’ve got the best boyfriend in the town~” 

Neito honestly is just so freaking extra

He tries cheesy pickup lines that hilariously fails most of the time like— Neito: “Are you French because Eiffel for you~” Shoto: “No, I am Japanese.”

They mostly like hanging out in Neito’s house. After school, in evening and sometimes late till night 

Practically, half-and-half has become Neito’s semi-permanent quirk.

That’s why Neito sometimes jokingly calls him “wifey” and Shoto doesn’t understand why— he’s like, “I am not your wife, we are not even married why would you call me wifey?”

Pet names don’t work very well with Shoto. One time Neito called him ‘honey’ and Shoto was like ‘why would you call me bee vomit?’ Neito had a good laugh about it later

 Similarly, ‘sweetheart’ didn’t work too. Shoto was like “my heart isn’t sweet. it’s made of blood and muscles. wait, are you a vampire then who finds blood sweet?’ 

They hardly go to dates (because Shoto isn’t very much of a outdoor person) but usually it’s Monoma who plans them

I don’t think Shoto knows the outside world pretty well but Neito is a wanderer and he knows all the best places in the town from top-notch restaurants to best cheap street-food. 

When they go out, Neito usually wears 6-cm high elevated boots (to be same height as Shoto, he’s real petty you know :)

The first time they went in date was at a urban park.

And Neito was honestly dressed like a hot model (so was Shoto) 

People thought they were new actors coming up for a shoot. 

Some people reckoned Shoto and it slightly irritated Neito and he pouted and commented, “not even letting us enjoy a little peace together”

Onetime Shoto was surrounded by a crowd of people and Neito was forced to be alone

That time a very pretty girl tried to flirt with him 

And Shoto usually has a high level of patience but watching a girl trying to flirt his boyfriend at his first date just was too much

He walked up to Neito, and whispered to his ear, “Let’s go, I am hungry. Let’s check out the restaurant that grabs and bites.” ((a long while ago, Neito had asked him out “to grab a bite at that new restaurant”))

And Shoto’s face was really something--- Neito had never seen such a pouty, glaring (at that flirty girl) and cuutee face

“Arere, didn’t know even Mr Recommend could make such a face over me~ Can’t blame you though, you’ve got the best boyfriend in the country”

Later Shoto wondered why he acted so weirdly back then he realised he just didn’t like Neito showing his soft side to anyone.

He was so lost in thoughts he didn’t realise they were standing in front of a lake in sunset and Neito was looking him in his eyes, holding out a promise ring.

“Shoto,” Neito’s gentle voice brought him to reality, “I love you. This ring represents our undying love, please accept it, my beloved.” 

Shoto honestly did not know what to say, all he could  do was search his pocket to bring out a ringbox and say, “Wait, I wanted to give you one too.”

“Arere, did I, a humble student from class B managed to outdo superior Class A’s special recommended student one time?” Neito grinned smugly, pushing the ring in his finger.

Shoto smiled and did the same, “You did. Many people wanted my heart but you stole it, Phantomthief.” 

Neito didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, he was so proud of his Shoto. Mr Recommend was starting to get affected by Monoma syndrome~

So he came forward, slowly closing the distance between them and gave a soft kiss on Shoto’s lips. 

Poor Mr. half-and-half was so dumbfound he accidently put his left side on fire. 

But thankfully Neito had ice so didn’t get at all hurt. 

Both of them spend the rest of the evening (until the park closed that is) playing with fire and ice, and Shoto felt honestly lucky to have such a beloved boyfriend.

Neito was surely crazy, arrogant, obnoxious, annoying, and obsessive, but there was a loyal, loving, caring and soft side to him other people didn’t knew.

Shoto felt priviledged that he was the one who got to see both of his sides and wanted to know more, more than anyone else.

He wouldn’t trade Neito for the most perfect, ideal person in the world. damn he was being sappy again bad Neito causing these harmful effects

Lost in thoughts, Shoto laid his head on Neito’s shoulders and the other boy played gently with the bi-coloured hair.

They held hands and watched the stars together. 

“I love you, Neito, I really do.” Shoto thought but maybe he thought aloud because Neito gave a wild cackle and laid his head in Shoto’s lap. “Honestly?! Arereree didn’t know Mr Recommend could be so sappy~” bby Neito what would u do if you could read shoto’s mind??

Shoto honestly didn’t mind teasing but oh god. not. this. topic. he was blushing hard now.

But he thought of the best way of stopping him---

He tried to give a peck on his lips to shut him up but Neito pulled him closer and this time, they shared a proper, deeper kiss. 

“Arere, did I outdo Mr Recommend again?” Neito smugly laughed.

Shoto tried to freeze him but Neito pulled him down and together they lay down in a cuddle ((until the announcer screamed them to get out because the park was getting closed))

(( @sleepis4theweak you said cute? have these then~ thank you so much for your lovely notes in the comments <3))

[weissichnetirgendeinnamehaltpls]

Happy Birthday to the person I love the most.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT HOW LUCKY I FEEL TO BE HAVING YOU IN MY LIFE. You're one of the best things Allah has provided me with. Saying alhamdulillah a trillion times won't be enough to thank Allah for giving me a friend as sweet and kind as you. I know I've been really busy lately and we haven't been able to talk much . But I promise I'm NEVER going to stop loving you. I’m so privileged to be a part of your life, and I couldn’t have asked for a better friend to share all my secrets with. We have been through a lot together, and that's what makes us a special duo. I hope we'll continue to make each other smile like we always do. No matter how busy we are with studies and everything going on 💀 I might've been a terrible friend in the past...but I promise our relationship is going to be wayyy healthier in 2022. For I'm a grown-up now. I'm 14 years old now 😌 and much more mature than I was last year.  Remember, whatever happens in life, happens for a reason. Life teaches us a new lesson everyday. I've learnt a lot this year, and my knowledge will continue to grow. Before being anything in life, we have to learn to be a human being. That's the biggest task we've got! No? I know life isn't so easy for you, well, to be honest, it isn't easy for anyone! It was NEVER meant to be easy. Look at all the successful people, are they leading a perfect life? No, they aren't! They're struggling, just like us.  And  you're managing everything quite nicely. Masha Allah. I'm so proud of you! Keep blooming babe! Of all the friends I've ever had (Aayat, Em, Baazil, Ahmad, Saifi, Hamz, Musa, Illias) YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE!

I WISH I COULD TAKE U OUT TO HAVE FROZEN YOGURT WITH MEEEE 😭

I- I AM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS IM CLOSE TO CRYING This text literally made my birthday one of the best I've ever had! The very first thing I did yesterday morning was reading all of your texts😌❤ I'm really, REALLY glad I commented below that one pinterest post (ya remember??). Cuz if i hadn't, I wouldnt have met you that Tuesday! Back then I never thought you could become so attached to someone "only" through texting. Im so glad you proved me wrong!♡ And yes, we may not be talking as much as we would like to at the moment, but it doesnt matter. Cuz we're connected in a special way, even though we're so far apart physically. Soon we'll have more time to talk (I had my last exam yesterday, IM FREEE🥳). And also, you haven't been a terrible friend! Dont ever say that luv. The feeling I have, looking back at our friendship until now is pure happiness. No one is a perfect friend, yet alone a person. But we'll grow together, and so will our friendship! We all struggle in life sometimes, but im sure I can over come anything with you as my awesome best friend! You helped me more than you'd ever know. And I'm sure we'll stay the awesome Duo that we are forever n ever! Love you a lot! *hugs you tight*

[apricusss]

when you are king. (zuko/fem!reader)

(i’ll post a zuko/gn! reader SOON i promise)

warnings: death, HEAVY ANGST, also slight mentions of blood

an (pls read): there is a song in this i recommend listening before u read its called "lavender's blue" and its a nursery rhyme. ALSO italics = flashbacks

summary: once he became for the firelord, zuko and (name) were going to spend the rest of their lives together. but it didn’t turn out the way it was meant to be.

word count: 1.3k

when you are king.

Life was a blur to (name) at this point. 

She couldn't process what was happening.The best way to describe it would be a big, blue flash.

A cry of pain.

The sight of her love of her laying there, crushed and defeated. 

(name)'s legs carrying her all the way across the grounds of the capital, and then collapsing next to her broken lover. 

She hadn't even managed to notice that Azula had slipped away to find Katara, leaving (name) there on the training ground. But she knew Katara could handle herself. Her main concern was Zuko.

To say the least, he looked like hell.

His limbs were trembling uncontrollably, and he looked like he was on the verge of losing consciousness. (name)'s heart nearly shattered when she saw the deep red wound in Zuko's chest.

“Zuko…” The words practically fell from her lips. “Zuko, talk to me. Say something.”

No matter how badly he wanted to, Zuko's condition prevented him from accepting her request. He laid there, like a fallen leaf from an autumn tree.

“Please, Zuko,” (name) was begging, pleading with him desperately. “Talk to me, say something to me! Anything! Anything so I know that you're still with me! Please!”

In response, Zuko's eyelids fluttered shut. 

The girl's voice broke, a sob escaping her lips soon after.

She hugged her sides, squeezing her eyelids tight so that salty tears flowed out of them. her entire body wracking and trembling as she hugged herself. She felt as if there was a cold hand gripping around her windpipe squeezing it so tight to the point that not an ounce of air was let in. Her soft sobbing turned into heartbroken wailing,  as her mind told her that the love of her life was gone.

The world around her was falling apart, and now she was too.

Suddenly, (name) felt fingertips brush her cheek ever so gently. She opened her eyes, looking down to see the Zuko's eyes were open, and he had his eyes locked on to hers.

“(name)?”

His voice was weak and raspy, and he had to put in a tremendous amount of effort to force out a few words.

“Don't cry” he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb, wiping away tears as they came falling down. “Please, please don't cry. It's going to be okay.”

(name) looked down at him in disbelief. She had faith that he was going to win the Agni Kai, but that faith was diminished a fraction of a second when (name) saw him lying battered and broken on the concrete.

“Don’t leave,” she choked out. “Please.”

 Zuko coughed, and managed to let out what (name) believed was a little chuckle.

“I can't,” his voice was getting weaker by the second. “It’s my destiny to become the new Fire Lord. I have to restore  honor to my nation. I have to help bring a new era of Peace into the world. But most importantly…

“I need to make you my queen.”

When (name) heard those words drawn from his lips, her mind took her back to earlier that summer.

The sun was starting to dip below the sky. The grass was green and lush, the two lovers had been lying there, leaning on a tree, talking for a while.

Zuko had (name) in his embrace, holding her closely. She had an arm wrapped around Zuko's waist, her head leaning on his shoulder. Their legs were intertwined, the soft grass tickling their bare feet.

It was like time had stood still.

The two had been silent for most of the time. They were just happy to be in each other's company.

(name)'s eyelids flickered open when she heard Zuko say,

“I can’t believe I’m gonna be the Fire Lord.”

(name) looked up at him and smiled brightly. “I know, love. I’m so excited for you.” 

Zuko didn’t return her smile, instead averting his eye and looking down at his legs.

“What’s wrong, Zuko?”

He took a minute to answer.

“What if… what if I’m not ready?”

“Zuko, honey,” she spoke sweetly, softly. “Your uncle said that the Fire Nation needed a ruler with unquestionable honor. And you can tell me about all the mistakes you’ve made, but you’ve come so far. And you did it all by yourself. And that is what I’m most proud of you for. You’ve achieved and accomplished so much, and I know you’ll accomplish so much more as the new Fire Lord.”

Zuko smiled warmly. “You’re too kind to me.”

(name) nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. “It’s only because you’re the best.”

Zuko looked away for a moment, as if he were deep in thought.

“One more thing..”

“What is it, love?”

(name) could feel his heart pounding.

“When I become Fire Lord… you’ll be there with me, right?”

“Of course darling. I wouldn’t miss your coronation for the world.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. What I mean is-”

All of a sudden the realization hit her.

“Zuko…” (name) felt tears forming in her eyes. Happy ones. “I know what you mean.”

“Oh…” Zuko pulled himself away from (name) so he could stare deep into her eyes. Gently, he cradled his hands in hers, caressing her knuckles.

“(name)… will you be my queen?”

(name) let the tears fall. Grabbing his face, she pulled him into a warm, passionate kiss, as if she were saying yes. She felt his arms wrap around her, in a way to tell her that she was his, and only his.

When the two broke away, (name) pulled him into a tight hug.

“Nothing would make me happier, Zuko.”

 Zuko had her on his lap, and was rocking her back and forth slowly.

“Well then… when I am king, you’ll be my queen.”

She could feel his pulse getting weaker by the second.

“Zuko…” (name)’s breathing was labored. She was panicking. “Zuko, stay with me. Stay with me, baby stay with me!”

“(name)…”

 God, he sounded awful. 

“Can you… can you do something for me?”

Her hand tightened around his when she heard him speak. She nodded. “Anything.”

“Can you-” he was cut off by a cough. (name) winced when she saw blood dripping from his mouth. Still, he managed to hold on.

He did it for her.

“Sing our song.”

(name) was in heaven.

The days that followed after Zuko's proposal were pure bliss.The others would often find her humming a playful tune, and dancing when she thought no one was watching. Everyone joked about how she was always on cloud nine.

She was marrying the love of her life.

How could she not be?

One morning, (name) was down by the stream, washing clothes in the cold, clear water. As she hung the clothes to let them dry, she sang to herself. Her voice was like a breath of spring: sweet, soft and breezy. As she hung the clothes, the words fell from her lips.

“Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly,

Lavender’s green,

When you are king, dilly dilly

I shall be queen…”

The grass tickled her bare feet as she twirled around freely.

Little did she know, Zuko was admiring from afar. He leaned against a tree and gazed at his girlfriend softly as she twirled about. 

She seemed so graceful and elegant.

It was like the sun had blessed her.

“I love to dance, dilly, dilly

I love to sing 

When I am queen dilly dilly

You shall be king…”

Zuko smiled sadly as he listened to her sing to him.

It might’ve been the last sound he’d ever hear.

“Who told me so, dilly, dilly

Who told me so?

I told myself dilly dilly

I told me so.”

(name) didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She could already feel him growing colder as time passed.

“Lavender's green, dilly, dilly

Lavender's blue

If you love me, dilly, dilly

I will love you”

His eyes began to close.

“Lavender’s blue… dilly, dilly

Lavender’s.... Green,”

(name)’s heart stopped as she heard Zuko’s low, broken voice finish the last lines of the song. 

“When I am king, dilly dilly

You shall be queen”

His hand fell from her cheek.

And that’s when (name) finally broke down, knowing that her king ceased to exist.