#if you dont like bread please tell me why

[19871997]

.

[nerdie-faerie]

Just had a conversation with a cat

[yuriisclumsy]

hii! How are you darling :)

Can i request a crack/ funny and fluffy cale x pregnant reader ? Like she is a few months pregnant, so cale and the kids always lay with her and dont let her do much.

Ofc the others are overprotective of her, bc like shes clumsy😭 like always falling down the stairs, nose bleeds (me core) and she watched everyone panic while looking at them with a deadpanned look bc

1. Shes a baddie whos to hot to die

2.the baby is fine and alive

And cale is loosing his mind bc he cannot leave her alone for two mins bc she will somehow make even more trouble simply bc shes ✨just a girl ✨

Stay still, will you?

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝:1,267

»»►This is a funny scenario. I like to think Cale is a super, over the top, overprotective, man. If you mess with those he cares about or loves, you’re about to find yourself in an interesting situation. 

»»►But when Cale finds out he’s going to be a papa, he goes wild. Forget accepting whatever mission the crown prince wants him to do, he needs to be right next to his wife–24/7. 

»»►And let’s be honest with ourselves, this man would literally take this chance to laze around even more. This is the life he wanted, no? 

»»►Oh, but his dear wife doesn’t like sitting still for more than a minute. This is torture for her—but can’t do anything about it because her husband and (adopted)kids want her to relax and take care of herself and the baby. 

»»►But, why? You may ask. That’s for the single fact that she is clumsy (hey just like me!). She crashes stuff, trips, falls, hurts herself—according to Cale and the others—she denies such accusations—and last but not least, she gets herself in trouble. 

»»►So, yeah. [Name] have no “stepping outside the state” privileges until after the baby is here physically. But [Name] is a tough cookie. She can handle herself when no-one is around. So—to everyone’s dismay—she goes outside one day. It’s just to stroll around and see what has progressed in Harris Village. 

»»►One thing to note: she didn’t tell a soul about her outing. 

»»►Now imagine Cale’s face when he comes back to see the staff panicking for the whereabouts of his wife. 

»»►Let's just say…it was chaotic that day. 

“Woah, that looks tasty...!” [Name] drooled at the sight. 

“Good morning, lady [Name]! What can I get you today?” The shop owner greeted [Name] with a smile. 

“Can I have this please?” [Name] pointed to one of the delicacies of the bakery. It was a croissant-looking-bread stuffed full of chocolate. 

The owner of the bakery gave her a bag filled with what she ordered. “Here you go! Please come back soon!” the owner waved goodbye. 

“I will!” She waved back at the owner. [Name] took one of the baked goods and began to eat it.  

“I wonder how everyone is doing at the state.” 

… 

“LADY [NAME]!” 

“M’lady! Where are you?!” 

“Does anyone remember the last place [Name] went to?!” 

“M’lady, please be okay!” 

Currently, everyone is in a frenzy. The lady of the house was nowhere to be found, and everyone and their mothers were running like headless chickens in search of her. And if they did not find her, their master was going to kill them! 

“What is with the commotion here?” a voice spoke from the entrance of the manor. 

Everything stopped. Slowly, the housekeepers and butlers turned their heads towards the voice. They knew this voice. Very well in fact. Although they grew to like it, right now, they wish they didn’t hear it. They prayed that it was a ghost. Dread overtook them as they saw the voice’s owner. 

Cale Henituse. Their young master. And the husband of the manor’s lady they were trying to find. 

“So? Is anyone going to tell me why you are all running like the world just ended?” Cale spoke. 

Who was mad enough to even dare to tell the young master that his wife magically disappeared? Not me. And not anyone in this room.  

Yet a brave soul stood up and spoke. May he rest in peace. 

“Ah…y-young mater Cale,” a young butler went forward and vowed, stammering in his word, “we..uh…. Can’t find lady [Name] anywhere...?” 

“...” 

“...” 

It was deafeningly silent. No one moved an inch, waiting—waiting for the order to execute them. They fully accepted their fate. 

“Well, what are you all just standing there for?” he spoke, breaking the iceberg. 

“Huh?” 

“Standing still isn't going to bring back [Name].” He stood there, staring at the crowd. 

He was right. 

They needed to get back to searching for Lady [Name]!  

A chorus of ‘yes, sir!’ was heard before a horde of housekeepers and butlers left in search of their Lady. 

“*sigh* Why are you like this [Name]...?” Cale whispered and looked up. He slowly walked to the exit of the manor heading to the town; the children followed after him–this included Choi Han. 

“Master Cale, where are you going?” Hans asked. 

“I’m going to the market area in the town,” he said, not bothering to look back. “Ron, make my bed as comfortable as you can make, will you?” 

“Yes, young master.” Ron responded. 

“Great.” 

… 

Lovely day for [Name] sitting in the shade of an umbrella and her delicious foods. Going from one shop to another, she had managed to gather a lot of food. She had gone overboard again, yes, but the baby she was carrying and her were happy. Who could ever disturb such happiness? 

“[Name].” A male voice called her name firmly from behind. 

Of course. The only person that could was her husband. [Name] knew he only meant good, but right now he had broken that tranquility. 

“Oh! Cale, love, darling, how are you...?” [Name] turned and looked at him nervously. The children had gathered around her–with Raon being invisible naturally. 

“[Name]...” Cale rubbed the temples of his face before sighing, “why are you out?” he asked sternly. 

“Well clearly, I was taking a walk. And I bought some snacks on the way.” She answered, petting both Hong and Raon while On made herself comfortable in her lap. 

“What–no. That’s not what I meant.” 

“You asked why I was out, and I told you why.” 

“You know exactly why I asked that.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” [Name] gave the children the treats she had bought earlier. 

“[Name], please. You know how dangerous it is for you to be here right now. You are due at any point now! And I just…agh..I just want you to stay safe.” He said in frustration. 

[Name] looked at him, feeling a bit guilty that he is like that. She had reached her ninth month a week ago, making this month the most crucial. She just didn’t want to stay locked up in her room all the time. It was something that did not sit right with her. 

“I’m sorry…” [Name] looked down in shame. 

“I…*sigh* You are going to be the death of me.” Cale came closer to her and placed his hands underneath her. 

“Hu-huh? Cale? What are you doing?” panicking a little before realizing he was going to carry her. 

“Carry you, obviously.” He scuffed. “We’re going back to the manor.” 

“Aww…can’t we go to another shop? It’ll be the last one, I promise!” Her begging went to deaf ears. He wasn’t letting her get away with it, so she started to wiggle her way out his arm. 

“Stay still, will you?” 

“Not until I get my last treat.” 

“*sight…* Fine. But you’ll have it after dinner. Dinner is going to be served soon.” Cale said while walking to the nearest candy shop. 

“Mmmm, I'm fine with that. Oh! Choi Han, hello. Sorry, I didn’t notice you there.” 

“It’s fine lady [Name].” Choi Han gave her a small nod. 

“Moooom…I want a treat too!” 

“I also want one!” 

“The great Roan Miru will get one too, right?” 

“Wait a second. Since when do they call you mom?” Cale asked in confusion. 

“Yes, yes. All of you will get one.” 

“Don’t ignore me.” 

Choi Han giggled as Cale continued to ask and get ignored by them. 

Fin 

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @lureslutes, @cruzerforce4256, @narcise63, @potterhead-whovian-117, @margieee194, @zenix108, @vimenorie, @lunavixia, @potterhead-whovian-117, @alithurism, @matchalyne, @minteaspoon, @dontknowhowtousethis, @valacz29, @rainalovesouya, @vimenorie, @lunavixia, @ru8yx. Re-blog or Comment if you want to get added into the Tag section for Lout of Count's Family updates. Back to Lout Of Count's Family Master-List

Master-List

[copinghardasfvck]

dont prove ‘em right

ADRIAN CHASE X READER

summary: your relationship with that cute dorky waiter at fennel fields is relatively new but doubt is cast fairly early on in your relationship.

notes: fluff, the teensiest bit of angst, sex mentioned, not really identity reveal but close, inspired by please please please by sabrina carpenter, MINORS DNI 🫶

You bit your lip, not really trying to hide your bright smile or giggle as your boyfriend belted Gwen Stefani next to you. Part of you wanted to remind him to keep his eyes on the road. The more dominant part of you sang along with him and moved your hand from where it was previously resting, in the crook of his elbow, to lace through his free hand that wasn’t on the wheel.

Adrian had been… so perfect. Sure he was dorky but you liked dorky. Sure he was working full time as a busboy in a dingy little Italian restaurant but love is blind especially when it comes with free lifetime discounts on oily cheesy pasta and garlic bread.

Nothing mattered, not when he’s this cute. Not when he’s the sweetest guy you ever dated, unafraid of being corny. He’s his true authentic weird self, making inappropriate jokes left and right, eager to share his life and all his thoughts with you. You’ve never met a guy who was this enthusiastic about you or about pleasing you. And please you, he did.

Things have been going more than well so far.

“And then when he turned around, it was you, all along,” You said, wiggling your fingers in the air and deepening your voice a little mysteriously. A giggle escaped you when Adrian’s jaw dropped and he gasped. Sometimes you couldnt even tell if he was overplaying his reactions for comedic effect.

“That’s a craaazy dream, babe,” He awed, “No like I don’t know why my dreams dont have wacky plot twists like yours. Usually I’m either getting chased or we’re fucking. Not that I don’t like fucking you. But its better in person of course.”

You snorted, craning out of your seat to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m…” Adrian groaned, smacking the center console playfully frustrated. “Another one?”

You gave him another small kiss on the cheek, tongue darting out to lick his skin as you pulled back.

His head snapped to you, a finger lifting to scold you.

“Eyes on the road!!”

“You just licked me!”

“Baby, eyes on the road!” You started grabbing his chin to turn his face back forward.

“You’ll rue the day you—”

“Okay okay!! Baby please if we both die in a car crash you wont get make me to rue this day.”

He settled, focusing back on the road, right on time too, because he pulled into the parking lot of the bar you’d planned to go to tonight. And a few moments of peace were ruined when he poked your stomach, sending you yelping and you launched yourself toward the passenger side door.

“I’m sorry!” You snorted, grabbing the offending hand to stop him from poking you again.

Adrian pulled your hand toward his lips and kissed your fingers, luring you into another moment of false security before swiftly snaking his hand out of your grasp, going under your arm, and poking you in the side again.

You yelped again, swatting his hands away from you and he giggled, putting the car in park. You watched him cautiously, as he turned to face you. “Do I get payment for driving?”

“You’re gonna poke me again.” You said, pointing to his hands resting at his side.

“I wont. Pinky promise. I can’t break a pinky promise.” He held his pinky out for you.

“You cant. Or I’ll never trust a pinky promise again.”

“I’d never stain a pinky promise.”

“Your word would mean nothing if you were to break a pinky promise,” You warned, locking your pinky with his.

“I could never ruin pinky promises for you. They’re like.. sacred.”

“Truce,” You said, letting go of his hand and leaning yourself over the center console to give him a soft kiss on the lips.

Adrian smiled into your kiss, cupping your cheek with his hand. “Love you.” Your noses were still touching and when you opened your eyes, you saw his hooded ones staring back.

Some would say three months is too soon to say “I love you.” You counter with what do they know?

Smiling brightly at him, you repeated, “Love you too, honey.”

“I get so hard when you call me honey,” Adrian whined, puckering his lips to close the one centimeter distance between your faces.

You pulled away slightly with a smirk on your face, biting your tongue as you stared down at him. His eyes looked so big from this angle. You kissed him again, only giving enough time for him to kiss you back and for you to sneak a swipe of your tongue against his lips.

“You’re fucked up,” You muttered.

“Why?”

“‘Honey’ isn’t dirty. In any way. Its actually quite wholesome, most would agree”

“Everything’s dirty when you say it.”

You felt your stomach twist because of the way he said it, under his breath, leaning in for another kiss. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of you. He makes you dizzy… especially when he’s this close to you. Your heads not right. “We’re late,” It was half a reminder to yourself.

“So?? We can be later.”

“Says you, they’re your friends,” You laughed, unlocking the passenger door. Adrian pouted. “I need to make a good impression. And thats easier for me to do when your cum isnt dripping down my thighs.”

Adrian’s eyes were so fucking dark but the desperation hidden in them were what made you giggle and jog out into the parking lot. Adrian scrambled after you quickly. You turned when you heard the Sebring honk lightly to signal it was locked, just in time to see Adrian run up to you and grab your hand in his. Your arms pressed up together. Fuck you love this man. You’ve never been this lovesick in your life. And you can see how much he adores you back.

You were moving so fast but you couldnt even be sorry about it. Today was meet Adrians friends day, next weekend was Adrian meet your friends day and he’s already been talking about “How should I introduce myself to the mister and missus? Should I wear my work uniform so they know I’m employed?” He even joked (you think) about wifing you up several times — you blamed it on the fact that it usually came after he just came.

But god you really wanted this to go well. You really wanted this to work out. You love this nerd. You love him so much that every fucking song you hear on the radio is about him. You love him so much you get sad going out to have fun without him because you wish he were there. And then you still get excited because you cant wait to show him that cool experience .

When you entered the bar, you weren’t sure what you were expecting. To be honest you love and hate meeting new people. Loved new connections but hated the anxiety that comes with it.

It took a few seconds for Adrian to find his friends and colleagues once he did, you looked to see they were already gawking at the two of you, eyes wide, mouths agape. You looked at Adrian, a lopsided smile on your face, and back at them, wondering if he was going to introduce you first or if they were gonna go around saying their names.

“Guys! This is my girlfriend I was telling you about.”

None of them said anything, eyes flitting back and forth between you and your boyfriend. Admittedly you didnt get the memo for the night and overdressed a little, a cute minidress, but that was for the dinner you and Adrian had before the bar. Adrian picked you up right after some top secret business meeting at Fennel Fields (You dont know why a busboy would be involved in a corporate meeting but you didnt question it) so he was more dressed for the bar than the dinner. You hoped it wasnt a big deal that you stuck out from the rest of the group. You hope they dont think youre trying too hard.

You uttered a cheerful introduction before launching into the standard “It’s wonderful to meet you all. Adrian has told me so much. I asked him how he knows Peacemaker,” You turned to the tall blonde man, “actually, because like, of course I’ve seen you on the news before. But you know I think its cool that Evergreens hero is still a regular at small businesses like Fennel Fields. Even after the whole butterfly-aliens-saving the world situation. And Adrian told me he knows all of you through Mr Peacemaker and thats also really cool you know like I admire that all of you put yourselves in a position of danger to help us—” you gestured between Adrian and you, “feel safer in our homes. And I dont mean to sound dorky or like a fan, which of course I am and I respect you all but you dont have to worry that I’m gonna ask for a picture or anything like that— that’d be weird. And I’m gonna close my mouth now. Uhm— What are your names?”

Adrian smiled brightly at them, “Isn’t she great?”

You buried your face in Adrians arm to hide your embarrassed face.

“Its nice to meet you,” One girl chimed in, almost just as awkward as you, “I’m Leota.”

“Why are you with him?” A man sitting behind the rest blurted out loud, though you weren’t sure if he meant to.

That immediately put you off, completely caught off guard, you stumbled for words and Leota, thankfully, gave him a stern smack on the chest before telling you, “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, no don’t worry um—” despite his aggressive tone, you figured you should extend some benefit of the doubt. If Adrian calls these people his friends, you’d hope they’re nice. The man could have been teasing, and maybe your ears were being a little extra sensitive, maybe you perceived more bite than he intended. “Adrian’s the sweetest guy I’ve dated. I’m used to assholes that give more than they take but he always matches my energy and isn’t shy about his feelings,” smiling, you looked at Adrian, hoping you answered well.

He kissed your cheek happily, and you drank it up, beaming.

The rest of the night went smoothly after you finished up introductions and started to drink a little more. You found that it was easy to get to know Leota, maybe it was the fact that she quietly defended Adrian when an insult was thrown at him, but you think that she just generally has an open kind of vibe to her. Emilia definitely doesn’t carry herself with the same friendliness but you decided relatively quickly that you like her too because of her authenticity.

You just hoped they came out of this feeling like you deserve Adrian.

You found out ten minutes before the bar’s closing that that you definitely had nothing to worry about in that regard.

—————

It was really a pleasant surprise how easy it was to fall into conversation with Emilia and Leota. They were pretty interested in you and of course you had a million questions for them— to which you received a million mind boggling stories of near death experiences they’ve gone through.

There was the occasional moment in which they would stutter but nothing set off an alarm to you. Lots of “A—… Vigilante” or “Ummmm… our other co-worker,” in the middle of a sentence. You didn’t question why they needed to protect an identity. Truly, it flew completely over your head — they work for the government! Of course they’d have secrets. You didn’t want to take it personally.

But they grew increasingly on edge as the night went on. And you wanted to ask if everything was alright… but it didn’t feel right to. As a civilian, you get that some things are just classified.

“Adrian can be a handful,” Leota laughed. And since you were picking up that general air of discomfort you took note that her eyes were widened, not really in a joking way but similar to the manner in which John, you knew his name now, made that initial comment. You’re not just being sensitive right?

“He’s silly sometimes,” You said, not really trying to agree with what she was trying to say, “He matches my silly,” You tried to make it better.

Leota nodded slowly, muttering short sounds that sounded like stalling and Emilia bit her lip, looking away, “Look…” Emilia started, and you tuned in. “You seem nice.”

Oh thats not scary at all…

You waited for the inevitable “We don’t think you’re a good match,” or “You’re trashy, you’re x, you’re y, you’re all these things that make us not like you or want to be around you.”

“Too nice.”

“What?” You couldn’t help it. You knew you were interrupting her but your heart is beating fast and your blood is kind of rushing to your head. You just… its hard for you to meet a good guy and you were already nervous for this little meet and greet and it seems like you were right to be. Everyones been tiptoeing around you like you could break into a million pieces.

“Its just that Adrian—”

“He’s not what he seems,” Leota said.

Dramatic. Ominous. Many words flashed through your head, all of the same nature. What the fuck they’re acting like hes gonna kill you or something. Like hes a criminal.

Then you thought about it.

All these people who work for the government. Friends with a busboy at Fennel Fields.

Your eyes alternated between the two of them and they looked as if they saw the gears turning in your head, sighing to themselves a sigh of relief that they dont have to say more than that to get you to understand what they were getting at.

“I’m sure you noticed the like… you know… late nights. Maybe a bruise and you didn’t know where it came from. Maybe he’s secretive about his phone…” Leota rambled and you didnt need her to continue. You do remember. Now that someone else points it out.

Its fucked that the first thought going through your head is maybe I should warn Adrian, because you dont know whats going on. Does Adrian know that they know what he did? What did he do? They dont seem like they’re really his friends. Are they in some deep cover operation where they all have to infiltrate his inner circle so that they can catch him or get a confession for something? You assume thats the case. The way they said it makes it seem like hes a criminal.

“What?” You asked again, breathier, shoulders kind of slumping in an exasperated way, your face twisting with desperation coating your features. You had been nervous going in to tonight. Their demeanor throughout the night made you more nervous. Now it seemed like you got the confirmation that your intuition was right but theres more questions circulating through your mind than answers.

And still you cant get it out of your head. Maybe I should warn Adrian. Adrian who might be a criminal, who might have ARGUS after him, who might have mid-high profile superheroes monitoring him for whatever reason— reasons that you dont know. You should block him, change your phone number, move apartments, get as far away from this as you can. But then you look at him from across the room, laughing and acting goofy with Peacemaker. You imagine the feeling of him kissing your forehead after a passionate night. Or imagine the way hed come to you and talk out a small fight you two had and hug you once you fixed things and you know you couldnt leave. But its only been a few months. Are you so ruled by your emotions?

“We cant say much. But you’re a nice girl. We just thought you know…” Leota shrugged all too casually, but you could sense the true empathy in her voice, she spoke so softly like a true friend, “It’d be a shame.”

“Thank you,” You said. A shame for what? What would happen to you? You know Adrian would never hurt you. You know that. Do you? You dont seem to know him. No, you know he would never hurt you, you dont need to know whatever this big secret is to know that.

Are you being delusional?

This doesn’t seem like a “Let me just talk to him and clear it up” kind of misunderstanding.

—————

“Yeah and they just said like ‘It’d be a shame,’”

“Girl.”

You asked Adrian to drop you off after the bar, making up some excuse that you were tired and had to go into work the next day and it’d be too out of the way for him to drive you to work. He pouted a little and tried to bargain but ultimately agreed. You immediately called your best friend upon entering your house.

“I know!” You yelled, cradling your head in your hands.

“A shame for what?!”

“I know!”

Their eyebrows were furrowed, mouth open, and you watched as the gears turned in their head the same way you probably looked when you were hearing this for the first time. “Get out of there… It sounds like way above my pay grade. I’m used to being your therapist, you know, a-a-and picking up the pieces of a broken little heart but I’m not about to pick your body up from the morgue.”

“Stop it! No, that’s not gonna happen.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hold on. Pause… Be. So. Fucking. For real with me you stupid bitch.”

Your sounds of protest were ignored.

“You’re not planning to stay with him are you?”

You searched for the words but none came. You were pulled out of your thoughts when another call started to come in, unknown number.

“No.”

“H-hold on, I’m getting a call. I’ll call you back.”

“Wait you’re finding out that your boyfriend is on a watchlist and you’re taking a fucking scam call instead of affirming to me that you’re gonna break up with him? Because you’re gonna break up with him right?”

“Bye! I’ll call you back I love you. I’m sorryimsorry.” You quickly answered before they could say anything more, “Hello?”

And all color drained from your face when Adrian, the boy who had just left your house with a quick and sweet kiss to your cheek not even thirty minutes, spoke from the other line.

“Hey um… I’m sorry for asking you instead of someone else. I um… I knew Peacemaker wouldnt answer because he left the bar with a girl. And I didnt memorize anyone else’s number. I really didnt wanna do this its just…”

“What happened?” You interrupted, standing up out of your chair.

“I was arrested. Can you pick me up?”

Your heart was gonna fucking jump out of your chest.

“Its the station right next to um… Oh!!” Cheerfulness filled his voice, a heavy contrast to the weight you felt on your shoulders. “The umm that one really nice cafe with the live music that we went to for our fourth date. You know that one right?”

You hung up and grabbed your keys without another word.

I should have warned him.

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? daniel ricciardo smau (part 1)

pairing: daniel ricciardo x toto's secret child!reader / daniel ricciardo x schumacher and wolff!reader warnings: cursing and some general fandom hate wags get note: first time doing this i dont know if this right but lets go! part 2, part 3 and part 4

mickschumacher happy birthday to @ynquads !! sorry for crashing into the cake! mama said she'll make you another

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 122 498 others

gina_schumacher thanks for almost cropping me out of the picture

mickschumacher it's about yn!! ynquads i though i was you favourite cousin gigi :( why u being so mean to me :( i'll go tell my parents micschumacher ill tell mama you're being mean to yn username123 always love seeing mick and yn be annoying little siblings

maxverstappen1 congrats! is it enough to say it here or do i have to make my own post? ive given you a present

ynquads bring me cowboy boots from austin and you dont have to

username cute cute cute cute cute cute

username honestly schumacher genes dont even feel real anymore

username right!?!?! i want yn to win the figure skating grand prix but then i remember that video where she went karting with max username like a billion drivers and a skater and the good looks in ONE family? god really does have favourites

lewishamilton happy birthday! it's been great seeing you grow up

username excuse me sir? what do you mean grow up?

ynquads visited japan for a wedding and now i'm all ready for skate america!! let's gooo cricket club!!

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, susie_wolff and 112 666 others

username YOU GOT INVITED TO YUZURU'S WEDDING

ynquads i even got to bring daniel🤭

danielricciardo it was a lovely wedding❤️❤️(ours is gonna be better)

username excuse what the fuck lewishamilton actually you're not allowed to marry her without our permission danielricciardo whose permission would i even ask? lewishamilton every german speaking driver and like three team bosses good luck

username ARIANA (our queen & god susie wolff) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

maxverstappen1 daniel's being gross make him stop

danielricciardo am not! ynquads lmao throw bread at him danielricciardo all the love ive given you and this is how you repay me? ynquads ooh i'll repay you 😏 maxverstappen1 dont be weird under my comment

username oh she has time to fly to japan but not go to a single race ever

username babes danny has not been in the since zandvoort. theres been no race to go see him username they've been together for like three years and she's only been to less than ten races username like seriously cant she ever be supportive username you people do realize she's an athlete too?

ynquads we got silver!!!💪🥈🥈🥈congrats to kaori sakamoto 🥇 and isabeau levito🥉 (also thanks uncle lewis for dinner)

tagged: lewishamilton

liked by maxverstappen1 and 237 274 others

nicorosberg he gave you alcohol?

ynquads i have never actually drank alcohol at all in my entire life (also dad was there i was not even allowed to get food that had rum in the sauce) maxverstappen1 oh yeah we did not at all just get drunk ynquads shut up before nico goes to talk to my DAD

username are we all just gonna ignore that she calls lewis "uncle" like seriously how disrespectful is that

username calm the fuck down she calls him and all the older grid (especially sebastian) uncle so it is not new

danielricciardo why you holding your head like that? is it heavy from all the pretty? i can hold it for you

nicorosberg this is who you choose @ynquads danielricciardo why are you bullying me too??? ynquads hes funny onkel nico (uncle) username how is nico rosberg here dragging danny ric? you dont even follow him?

username EVERYBODY CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A CHANCE TO HAVE YN WIN THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIX PLEASE BE ON EVERY PODIUM

susie_wolff congrats honey! we're really proud!

username i still think it's so damn weird she just hangs out with the older grid. how does she even know then to go on dinners

username okay but when the hell did this even happen? i follow yn and she trains in toronto and during summer is in germany or england. she doesnt attend the races? how the fuck is she and DANIEL RICCIARDO together babes

username i bet my life that max introduced them i can feel it in my bones that he planned this username "oh sorry i won by 30 secs and you have a shitbox to drive, wanna meet my friend she's great gf material? you have no chance without help" ynquads i mean.... username OH MY GOD

username she's such a shit girlfriend honestly. she dates daniel for publicity and then drags lewis down too

username what the fuck are you smoking??

username how the FUCK did daniel ricciardo bag the talented pretty QUAD QUEEN MISS YN SCHUMACHER!!! thats my wife actually! what about our kids and three lambs??

f1wagsupdates paparazzi has released a video of mercedes team boss toto wolff exiting a restaurant and driving off with a young woman. even though she tried to cover herself, the woman was quicky identified as yn schumacher. she is a figure skater and 20+ years younger. in an interview from home yn can be seen walking around the wolff kitchen in little clothing. is this the ending to toto's perfect looking marriage with fellow motorsport boss susie wolff?

liked by 10 385

username if i dont read it, it doesnt exist. no one's cheating ever

username toto and susie's kid is like 5 how could he throw that away??

username its always the goddamn family men fucking over their wives and kids

username this is such bullshit. toto and susie have been together since like 2011 this is so horrible

username little clothing? she's wearing like pajamas

[nikosama13]

"Confess Properly!" (Law x Reader)

Description: Law was puzzled about something… you. He can’t place his finger on whether it’s that you pay close attention to him or that you are an easy-going person. On top of all of that you were in fact, beautiful and you always had everyone’s back. You were like an angel in Law’s eyes, but it’s not like he’d tell you that. But one day that all changes when the rest of the crew speaks about your traits and personality.

Side Notes: Hey loves! I’m new to writing fanfic’s so please go easy on me. (I'm also running off of 2 energy drinks and One Piece) ⚆ _ ⚆ (Most likely spelling mistakes)

~~~

Law had always been fond of you ever since he saw you and even before he had formed an alliance with Straw Hat Luffy. But there’s one thing that puzzles him.. he doesn't know why, but he much preferred you over anyone else in the crew. Probably because you made him onigiris when you paid close attention to his dislikes such as bread or the fact that you were peaceful and it didn't take much to please you.

However one day things change.. His hold on his glass mug tightened, seeing as Bartolomeo swoons and fanboys over you. He gritted his teeth as jealousy ran through his veins, it took all of him not to use his devil fruit.

"Tch. Damn Rooster-ya."

~~~

The ocean air had a cool yet refreshing breeze. The sun shined bright as birds chirped happily above, the waters being surprisingly calm as the smell of salty water filled the air. It was a nice break from all the chaos and action on the ship.

Law was still in a bad mood as he leaned against the wooden railing of the deck.

You were out on the same small deck looking out at the view in the distance, with a plastic old chair you took from your room.

“Oh hi Law..” you said tiredly.

He glanced up at you, seeing your innocent smile that had the chance to make anyone's day better, made him soften just a little bit.

The doctor sighed as he leaned back on the railing, crossing his arms to keep himself from doing something he'd regret. He had to keep a poker face.

"Ah, uh, hey."

“What's with the grumpy mood..?” you said peacefully.

"..nothing."

He replied in a monotone voice, trying to not look at you. He wasn’t trying to be rude but definitely came off as he was. He was just jealous that those other guys were drooling all over you.

“Well it seems like something..”

Law scoffed, and leaned on the railing again, he hated it when you saw through his facade. He clenched his fists as he looked down at the waters below. Why did he feel this way about you? What was it about you..

"..forget about it. It's nothing important."

Law crossed his arms a little tighter as he glared out into the ocean, trying to suppress his emotions. It seemed pretty clear you knew something was wrong, it seemed his face told a lot more than he wanted it to.

"..it's nothing, just a little irritated from all that.. Attention…"

“What attention..?”

"You know what attention."

He grumbled as he clenched his fists tighter. This was exactly why he hated Bartolomeo and hated how much he loved you.

"The way he keeps going on and on, those other guys- it's just so annoying. All they do is drool and worship you."

“Oh.. I dont care much about them..”

"…r-really?"

Law's gaze snapped towards you as you casually mentioned not caring about them. He couldn't help but feel a small bit of jealousy rise up again from that. He hated this feeling.

"I know…it's just annoying, all of it. They keep saying how you're ‘perfect’ and everything else.. they're right though.." He muttered under his breath.

“Wait did you just-”

"…did I do what?"

He glanced back at you, he was trying to keep a stiff upper lip with the way his cheeks were burning. He didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to say what he really meant.

“Did you just agree with them..?”

He sighed as he leaned on the railing once more. If this was a different situation he would give an answer in a snarky tone but with that small amount of jealousy he couldn't manage it.

"..yes."

“So that means..”

"It means what?!"

He grumbled as he felt his cheeks getting a little bit hot. He didn't want to admit anything, but his emotions were betraying him.

“You know..”

Law couldn't help but feel a little bit red from how obvious it was getting. He sighed as his gaze went back towards the waters below, the sun setting in the distance made everything a little more romantic and pleasant.

"…yeah. I do."

“Then confess to me properly.”

"…are you serious?"

He raised an eyebrow at you, maybe he wasn't hearing this properly. He was already surprised you had a pretty good clue on how he felt about you, so he didn't think you'd actually want him to say it.

“Come on, there is no point in hiding it.”

"I…"

He had to clear his throat, he had always been a very stoic and calm one so he didn't like how much you were making him stutter. But you were right, it was pretty obvious how he felt about you. He didn't need to hide anything.

"I like you." He muttered quickly, waiting for you to say something to his confession.

“..and I like you back.”

Law was taken aback by you saying those words back to him. He had been expecting a "Sorry" or a "no" but not an "I like you back" he was stunned into silence for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts.

"You…you feel the same way about me?" He asked as he looked at you, surprised and hopeful that you did.

His cheeks heated up as he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was overjoyed to hear you say such things to him. He had liked you for so long and it had been obvious to everyone else how much he was into you. Hearing you liked him back was something he had always dreamed out.

~~~

The End~

(This took soo long to make and I’m super happy with it.) ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ Consider Following..?

Thank you for reading.

[astrecium]

"Every scar has a story."

c. scaramouche . wanderer . kabukimono x reader

g. angst? Comfort?

cw. self harm, reader is healing, old scars. Please dont do this to yourself! Please read the note in the end!! Warn me if this is disrespectful

summary. wanderer, scaramouche and kabukimono (separately) seeing your old(new?) sh scars.

this is based on my knowledge about SH and it may be uncomfortable for you to read it, read this at your own risk and take care !!

. kabukimono

he would see your wounds immediately. The first moment he sees your wrist he is panicking. But if you lied to him, saying it was your cat, he would believe for a while. But he would try to take care of your wound, trying his best to keep you safe. He would check it repeatedly and offer to call niwa to help you, but you denied. He didnt ask.

Then one night something hit him. How could a cat make 10 lined cuts?? And why wouldn't you accept help?? It was worrying him and he couldn't take it anymore. he tried to ask niwa indirectly, trying to see what he says about it.

"Is it possible to a cat cut someones wrist repeatedly 10 times and in perfect lines?"

He asked and of course, niwa told him its not.

"Huh? No. It isnt. You know someone who did this?"

He had it in him that you wouldnt want anyone to know, so he answered a "no."

But then, when he saw you, he didnt try to be soft and didnt know why would you do it. He pulled off your sleeves and of course, there were new cuts.

"Why are you doing this?"

He was just bold. he listened for every single thing you had to say, he was so focused it was scary. If you said you didnt want to talk about it, he'd nod and wouldnt talk about it anymore. He didnt know how to comfort you. He had no idea. He knew you probably didn't want to be comforted and just wanted peace to do it, but he was too afraid of losing you. He couldnt let you do this.

He took care of your wounds, and he didn't know how to make you stop, so everyday he would look for sharp things in you room, hiding all of them. He didn't know what to do so whenever you get sad he would try to make you happy, trying his best to get you to stop.

He would watch you whenever you are in the kitchen. You picked up the knife? He is straight by your side as you cut the bread.

. scaramouche

He has a way more aggressive approach.

He always thought ones hurting himself was stupid, it never crossed his mind that you would do it. Thats when it grew suspicious to him.

Why do you buy so many sharpeners and box cutters? He would rarely judge you, but why are you wearing long clothes? It's summer. And why do you always get defensive when he gets close to your arm??

Oh, he gets it. Just like kabukimono, he didnt gove you much of a choice. When He gets home, the first thing he does is look for you.

"Show me your arm."

You opened your mouth to speak and he knew you woulsnt do it by own will, so he took your wrist tightly but in a gentle way, then took off your sleeves. Just like he expected.

He sighed, then muttered.

"Just let me take care of this."

He would wash your wounds and if necessary even bandage them, making sure you are safe.

Surprisingly, he got more softer when speaking to you. Trying not to upset you, and he followed you everywhere. Not leaving you alone a second. He knew he ahould go and talk to you but he cant do it. Its too hard to him. He didn't want to upset you, but he didn't want you to get worse. He wanted to see you happy.

When he needed to go to work and leave you alone, he would always hide every single sharp thing in your room too. And when he comes back, he wouldnt push you. He would bring your favorite food and such, trying to get you not to do it again.

. wanderer

He is a mix of the two.

I'll be honest. He would know you did it very soon, but wouldn't tell you. He wanted to give you privacy and so, but it was getting hard when you do it every day.

He knew the time you used to do it, and the time you placed your hands in the blade, he entered the room and grabbed your wrist tightly. He sighed, not letting go of his grip.

"What were you going to do?"

"I was going to uh.. Cut a box."

"Oh, really? And you managed to cut your wrist repeatedly while cutting a box? How clumsy, huh?"

He knew people hate being caught but he cant go and watch while you keep trying to get worse and worse and worse. He pulled you by your hand, taking you away to take care of your wound. He would try to make you talk to him about whats bothering you, but he wouldn't force you to. If you didnt want to, he wouldn't force you.

"Im going to take everything dangerous out of your room, you know right?"

No, i didnt put it in many details because writing about sh is not my especially. I stopped doing it long ago, and I wrote this becauae i wanted people to be comforted about it, since i know mostly of the time people who do it get judged and i that everyone who is reading this to be fine and safe! Please take care

i have zero idea on how to comfort people, so if you think this is shit please message me and I'll delete this, I never interacted to shtwt and dont know if people there would like this so i tried my best to make this safe please dont make an exposed about me😅

Remember to take care<3 mwah

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 1

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader, Fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Swearing, Period Era Sexism

A/N: Hi guys! This is my first fic in over a year, but I dont know I just wanted to have fun! Also lets be real... i needed these ideas out of my head. Please enjoy, have fun! Have an amazing rest of your day! Hi everyone!!! So this became a multi chapter story! This has been so much fun and I am so excited to see where this story goes! If you are interested in continuing this story, go to my tags and click ‘Interviews for New Beginnings’ there all parts will be together! Eventually I’ll put together a master list for it! Love you guys so much, I’m so glad you guys are having fun!!

You had heard about this job from your cousin Eli. And maybe that should’ve been the first clue that perhaps this may not have been a completely legal or safe or upstanding or above the table or whatever good adjective your parents could come up with position. But you had told Eli that you needed a job! And he did find you one! And your parents should be overjoyed that you will be working in the same “bakery” as a male cousin. It’s not proper for a woman to be working without a family member’s presence… especially where there are other men in the office.

“When you go in there be sure to look strong, but not too strong, emphasize that you’re docile and you want to please him.” Eli had been quizzing you about your skill sets and how you were to behave in the interview the entire walk to “The Bakery”. And while Eli was so sweet and more of a brother than a cousin… you couldn’t keep your irritation at bay.

“Tell me Eli… am I interviewing for the position of personal secretary or personal wh-“

“And don’t be so quick with that mouth of yours! Listen… Mr. Solomons is one of the most important men in Camden. This could be a really big opportunity for you. Being the personal secretary of one of the biggest names in the city can give you a steady income and some real independence! But that means you can’t be so…”

“Myself?” You say with a cocked brow and a bumped hip.

Eli’s eyes lit up as if a child he had been teaching finally understood arithmetic, “yes! Yes exactly! Listen while you’re in front of Mr. Solomons, it’s ‘yes sir’ and no questions asked. Got it?”

You sigh and roll your eyes. It felt like you had had this conversation so many times in different ways. Why did your parents care to educate you so much if you weren’t allowed to use your mind? You had asked your father many times, if God gave you a mouth and brain, why shouldn’t you be allowed to use them? And he was never really able to answer beyond a couple phrases talking about the ‘role of women’. You had just been fired from a doctor’s office due to talking back to an unruly patient. Truthfully, this was your last shot to get real independence. It was either this job… or letting your parents begin the process of finding a husband.

You finally reach the door of the bakery, and Eli turns you toward him to fix your hair and straighten your sweater, “Ok ok. Here we are dearest. Now just follow me, don’t make eye contact with everyone and just… be good.”

You chuckle out a, “Yes mum.”

With a laugh he shoves your arm, and gives his name to the young man standing by the door. With a nod he opens the door and lets you in, quickly following Eli’s steps.

While Eli said you couldn’t make eye contact with anyone he never said you couldn’t look at the bakery. It didn’t take you long to notice that while all the men were wearing aprons… there was a distinct lack of… bread… or anything to do with bread. Soon after this you began to feel that memorable tickle in your nose. Rum you thought to yourself. With a smirk you ran up behind Eli and whispered, “Wow quite the bakery Eli. Does the family know about your little rum house job?”

His face was pale, and he was clearly in no mood to joke. With a huff you returned to your previous pace, and you see that the office is just ahead.

Suddenly you feel the flush in your neck, and begin to steel yourself. You had of course heard about Mr. Alfred Solomons. The King of Camden. The Brave War Captain turned Ruthless Gangster. Eli was not kidding when he said that Mr. Solomons was one of the most important people in the city. He ruled the community. This was not the time and place for your mouth to act up. This was the time to behave and play it safe.

Eli rapped the door of the private office gently, and was met with a gruff, "What now!?"

Eli with a shaking hand opened the door, "Mr. Solomons? It's me Eli I..."

"What the fuck do you want eh? Come on now yeah you interrupt me and just stand there acting like you've been struck dumb by God. Come on!!"

Eli kept stammering, basically useless, so you stepped up, "Mr. Solomons, I'm Eli's cousin. I'm here for the secretary position."

Mr. Solomons eyebrows furrowed, looking you up and down. You couldn't help but feel like a child in front of his stare. Fiery, discerning, and just plain terrifying. "You said you're here for what?"

"The secretary position. My cousin said you were in need of a secretary."

Mr. Solomons looked at Eli and looked at you, "And you think you're qualified for a secretary position?"

The heat in your chest started to grow. And you could feel your temper begging to be let out. But you had to make a good impression. You needed this job. You needed to be sweet and to behave.

You nodded, "Yes sir, I can assure you I am I-"

"I'm sorry treacle but this simply will not do." Mr. Solomons cut you off. "What I am doing here right? I'm running a legitimate business. I am running something very difficult that little girls like you simply could not deal with yeah? Now run along and go do whatever young girls do yeah?"

"Mr. Solomons I-"

"Treacle now you're making me a little frustrated right, I said run along now."

You could feel the heat rising and rising, and Eli tugging at your sleeve, "Mr. Solomons if you will just listen-"

Mr. Solomons rose from his desk, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I SAID LEAVE."

"I AM YOUR NEW SECRETARY DAMNIT."

The room went silent. The entire bakery went silent. And from the corner of your eye you can see different men pausing, waiting to see what would happen next.

Alfred Solomons, for the first time in his life, was left speechless. The last woman who had yelled at him was his mother. Usually, women run and hide from him upon the first interaction. Men have wet themselves from his bellowing. Yet... this little woman is standing here, screaming at him, demanding to be heard. He did not know what to do, he could only stare at her.

You tried to be good. You really did try! But it was too late now. Mr. Solomons was just staring at you, and you had a point to make.

"Mr. Solomons, I am the most capable secretary that you will ever have walk through these doors. I am fluent in Russian, Yiddish, Hebrew, and French. Not only can I read and write, I was the best in my class in maths. I am a damn good baker, though clearly you do not need my services there. I am incredibly punctual and polite and am able to talk to anyone. And to top it all off, I make a very good cup of tea. Now I put on my best dress and shoes and I walked 45 minutes to get to your ridiculous office and I will be damned if I will leave here without a job! Do I have your attention now sir?"

While you were speaking Alfred Solomons had slowly lowered himself into his seat, with a smile on his face. He was stroking his beard, considering your fiery eyes, and the shape of your lips while you yelled at him. He began to laugh to himself, "Come sit down treacle. Eli, get the fuck out, stand by the door."

You turned to look at your cousin, but he had already closed the door behind him. You walked to the desk where Mr. Solomons was sitting, and took a seat directly in front of him. Where he had been leaning back in his chair, he was now leaning forward on the desk, resting on his elbows on top of a thick layer of papers. His eyes twinkled, and a handsome smirk played on his lips. Your rage was still simmering, and it was hating you for staring at those eyes.

"You can read and write?"

"Yes."

"How fast can you type?"

"80 words per minute."

"You're good at math?"

"You want to put a slate in front of me and have me recite a King's speech as well Mr. Solomons?"

He barked out a laugh, "Fuck me. You've got a sharp tongue on you don't you?"

"I have language why not use it."

"Fucking hell...alright listen here you little viper. I want you here every morning at 8 o'clock. Ready to work. You will have many a late night in this job. You will be my personal secretary, which means when I say "come here", I better see you before I finish that sentence. You'll need to write letters for me as well as manage my meetings alright? You will be my shadow. Any questions?"

"What is my salary?"

He paused, staring at you, seemingly trying to see how low you would take, "4 pounds a week."

"6"

"Good Lord what do you need 6 pounds a week for? 4 and a half and thats generous."

"Mr. Solomons I'm not stupid I know what you do. You need me. You want to become a respectable businessman you need someone like me to make sure your affairs are in order. I know you are working with many different people, and you need my abilities. I am the best you will ever have. 5 and a half."

Alfred keeps stroking his beard...wondering how the hell Eli could be related to someone so strong... and how much it was going to cost to keep you, "5 pounds a week. And I will give you a Hanukkah bonus."

"...And Rosh Hoshannah off."

"Done."

You stood to shake his hand, firmly, though he kept smirking as he shook yours. "Alright my little viper, I will see you tomorrow. Bring ink and a notebook. We start at 8."

"Thank you Mr. Solomons. You won't regret this!"

"Alfie. You will call me Alfie from now on."

The way he said it while staring into your eyes brought a heat to your cheeks, and you prayed that he couldn't see any change in your demeanor. "Alfie." You whispered as you nodded and walked away.

He couldn't help but linger there in that moment, watching you walk away, speaking animatedly with Eli. Never had he ever felt so... struck by a woman before. He had women before of course, but no woman had captivated him the way you just did. He needed you. He needed you with him, in any way that you allowed him to have you near. Maybe this was a mistake, but he highly doubted it. How could a mistake be so beautiful?

"OLLIE!" He yelled, "WE NEED A DESK AND CHAIR NOW!"

[thatdeadaquarius]

m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

[milk-tea-sakura]

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓢𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓻𝓪’𝓼 𝓑𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓻𝔂!

How can I take your order? Just pick a dessert, drink and a member of your choosing. Please indicate who you want me to write about or I won’t do your request.

Fandoms: Stray Kids, Ateez, BTS, Enhypen, P1harmony, Seventeen, TXT (I am open to other groups! Just specify thegroup and member you want!!)

I do accept polyamourus relationships (member + reader). Up to 3 or 4 members! It makes it manageable on my end and however, occasionally I do write full group fics.

You can order in the inbox of @milk-tea-sakura I’ll get your order out asap, just check to make sure that I am taking orders before you order. Also let me know if you want it sweet or spicy!

And big thanks to @bunnys-kisses for giving me the inspiration for this. If you want non kpop character I recommend checking them out. And don’t forget to check their order list because we don’t have the same meals.

Order list below the cut!!

❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀ 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀

Cheesecake - “Baby, don’t make me spell it out for you… you know I want you.”

Castella cake - “I can give you a list of how you make me feel.”

Swiss rolls - “Oh my, what have I dont to deserve such a beautiful smile.”

Apple pie - “I must be in heaven”

Mochi - “If you don’t behave I’ll let the boys handle you.”

Dango - “How can you still look so attractive while crying?”

Miso butter cookie - “You’ve never even touched yourself?”

Crepe cookies - “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids?”

Nama Chocolate - “You know, I could get you off right here, right now.”

Purin - "If he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."

Tiramisu - “I wonder if the boys would also like to see this cunt. Would you let them see it?”

Strawberry shortcake - “Why are you being so gentle with me? I like it when you’re rough.”

Fluffy pancakes - “Your thighs are shaking so much.”

Watermelon Sorbet - “How about you put these lips to work instead of just talking all the time?”

Zebra cake - “You taste like heaven, and I can’t get enough.”

Lemon slice - “Be good for me and I’ll untie you.”

Pull-apart bread - “I know you said no marks… But what if I put them where nobody except for me will see them?”

Ice cream sandwich - “You act all innocent and look so sweet, but I know what a dirty mind you really have.”

Chocolate cake - “We have to be quiet. If you make a sound, I’ll have to stop!”

Souffle - “When I tell you to sit on my face, I want you to sit, is that clear?”

S’mores - “I know baby, I know. I’m right here just breathe.”

Belgian waffles - "I've been waiting for this kiss since the moment I laid eyes on you."

Shortbread cookies - "You kissed me! You kissed me, how's that not a big deal?"

Angel food cake - “You know, I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”

Red velvet cake - "Why do we keep pretending we don't want to kiss each other?"

Croissants - "No goodnight kiss for me?"

Crepes - "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask."

French toast - "Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean I don't mean it when I say I want you to kiss me."

Churros - "On a scale of one to ten...how mad would you be if I kissed you right now?"

Eclairs - "I think I deserve a kiss."

Bagel - "You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be okay."

Peanut butter bars - "The only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."

Scones - "You're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."

Fudge - “You know, a hug can be like medicine and make some of the pain go away. Wanna try?”

Chocolate mousse - “Is it okay, if we just lie down and watch a movie? I’m not feeling so good.”

Hot cross buns - “If you want to keep sitting on my lap you have to stop wiggling around like that.”

Brownies - “I see you’ve started without me.”

Cinnamon rolls - “Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it’s working.”

Mango sorbet - “You have my full attention.”

Carrot cake - “C’mere, Sit down, tell me what’s going on.”

Pastry braid - “There’s no one else I’d rather bother for the rest of my life than you.”

Sourdough bread - “I would run out of breathe trying to describe all the reasons why I love you.”

❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀ 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞 ❀ꗥ～ꗥ❀

Misutgaru - Bondage

Banana milk - Cuckolding

Strawberry milk - Food play

Chocolate milk -Gagging

Omija tea - Breeding

Chrusanthemum tea - Public/Semi-public sex

Bacchus - Temperature play

Citron tea - Wax play

Green plum tea - Voyeurism

Barley tea - Cockwarming

Matcha - Doggy style

Genmaicha - Oral sex

Sakura tea - Rough sex

Royal milk tea - Vanilla sex

Melon soda - Jeaoulsy

Yakult - Spanking

Ramune - Orgasm control

Sake - Daddy/Appa kink

Soju - Mommy/Eomma kink

Coffee - Praise kink

Bubble tea - Sub! Reader

Vodka shot - Dom! Reader

Coconut water - Sub! Character

Sparkling water - Dom! Character

Energy drink - Aftercare

Champagne - Pregnancy

Red wine - Size kink

White wine - Strength kink

Espresso shot - Body worship

Lemonade - biting/hickies

Latte - Sugar daddy! Character

Water - Film/recording

Milkshake - Unprotected sex

Chai - Protected sex

Root beer - Degrading kink

Earl grey - Age gap

Americano - Big cock

Light roast coffee - Drunk sex

Medium roast coffee - Accidently launching relationship

Dark roast coffee - Lingerie

Hot chocolate - Cowgirl position

On the house - Author's choice!

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[cal-writes]

Hi! I just wanna start by saying I adore your writing so much and you inspire me a whole lot!! Everytime a new chapter of yours drops I feel like life gets a bit brighter lol.

Anw, I hope you’re still receiving prompts? There’s one that has been sitting at the back of my head for way too long:

“The Strawhats are convinced Zoro’s foreigner, coin collector, sword user, tattoo enthusiast, bread hater, cardiac surgeon boyfriend is entirely made up, until they realise he’s real.”

I’ve been itching to write it but it never came around soooooo :3

Have a good day ilysm <3

that is so incredibly sweet of you. thank you so much for telling me! I'm glad i can inspire and brighten <3

prompts are always open i just - apparently - do not see them sometimes or dont have an idea

-

Zoro glares down at the collection of coins as if they have personally offended him. He crosses his arms, brow furrowed in concentration which in turn makes the poor vendor of the flea market stand pale and sweat. The young man lets himself get distracted by an old lady asking about the display of postcards he has laid out

"What's got you so pissy this morning?" Nami asks him, crossing her arms as well before she huffs. "If you didn't want to come you could have said no." She tells him. Usually she asks Robin to the flea market - because Robin loves that sort of thing and because they get coffee after - but one of her classes had her busy on a week long project. Maybe she should have just stayed home.

Zoro's expression turns from murder to confusion as he blinks and glances at her. "I wanted to come?" He says incredulously.

"Then why are you glaring daggers at this crap." She asks, gesturing at the rickety table and its myriad of good before catching the eye of the vendor. "No offense." She adds with a sweet smile which is ignored.

Zoro huffs and rubs the back of his head. "Law collects this stuff and I figured it'd make a good gift but these all look the same." He mutters and Nami narrows her eyes at him.

"Law?" She asks and Zoro gives her another look, as if he thinks she is an idiot.

"Yes?" He shoots back.

"Who's that?"

Zoro rolls his eyes and exhales sharply. "Not this again." He mutters before glaring at her from the side. "You know who he is."

Nami waves her hand. "Ah, yes of course. The 'boyfriend'." She says, making airquotes with her fingers.

"Why do you always say it like that?" Zoro asks and the vein on his forehead announces his irritation.

"Oh, please." Nami scoffs. "You don't have to keep pretending. I won't tell Hiyori. I get it." She tells him, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "Fuck knows I've told people you are my boyfriend before so they'd leave me alone." She says, picking around in a jewlery box of tangled necklaces, trying to find anything of value she can haggle the price down of.

"Okay?" Zoro says. "He is actually my boyfriend though."

"Riiight, the tattoed heart surgeon from Frevance who collects swords and coins, now, apparently. He's definitely real." Nami tells him with heavy sarcasm, as she tries to pull apart two pieces of jewlery.

"Glad we're in agreement." Zoro replies, being deliberately obtuse.

Nami snorts. "Would love to meet him one day." She says to play along.

"Good. Because he's coming this way." Zoro tells her, unbelievably smug, pointing over his shoulder.

She glares at him from the corner of her eye. "Like I'm gonna fall for that-"

A tattoed arm glides over Zoro's shoulders before a tall lanky man comes up to him and Nami turns to stare. "Hey, didn't know you were going to be here." The man says to Zoro before glancing over at Nami.

"Law, Nami, Nami, Law." Zoro introduces them, smirking insufferably at her before she has time to control her expession of shock.

[a-queer-seminarian]

hello, it is late at night as im sending this ask so forgive me if im a little bit all over the place but im currently struggling with how to feel and what to do. I've been going to a new church after being pestered by the people around me and today, i listened to the pastor preaching about loving others as a christian and felt happy to be there only to hear the last prayer as we were going home, specifically praying for israel and it broke my heart. I've been struggling ever since on how to feel.

I've seen too many pictures of sons, daughters, mothers and fathers fallen victims to their atrocities, heard too many stories of their vile actions that i just cannot bring myself to be alright with praying for israel while leaving Palestinians out of the conversation altogether, my heart breaks and i mourn and i want to cry. the pastor talked about expressing our love to God through tending to the sick, the hungry, and the naked and when they uttered the prayer, i think of the sick Palestinians children, the hungry babies, the people living in tents, they who spend hours waiting to get bread only to be bombed in line. i dont want to pray for the people dropping bone burning bombs on tents and burning babies. but i was made to pray so and i feel guilty of it. but also i feel guilty for not being able to be a person of forgiveness and compassion even towards the evil because i know we are invited to be kind even to our enemies but i simply cannot stand the injustice and the violent crimes being carried. and i feel so so lost.

i also dont know what to do, im riddled with anxiety, can i go to a different church instead? but what if people ask me why i moved church? i dont know how safe i can be to be openly pro palestine considering i am surrounded by people in power who are conservatively christian, i dont know if i can be safe around them. which also makes me feel guilty that i can not be as firm on my stance as i would like to be, i feel bad that i do not have the courage, i do talk about it when im at home with my family but with people outside i do not know if i am safe around them. but at the same time im afraid if i move to a different church it'll be the same heartbreak again when i find that they support the modern day israel. im so so lost on what to do and how to feel. i just dont want to be supporting such heinous things they're doing, even if that support is invisible to other people, i can not in my conscience pray for the well being of the oppressor while leaving out the oppressed like that. im sorry to God that i can not be as loving as we were called to be but it just breaks my heart to be in this position. im so confused on how to feel and what i can do. ive been feeling wrong ever since i got home.

Hey there. I'm so sorry you had that jolting experience that took you out of worship like that. I've had similar experiences at churches, where I'm feeling the Spirit, feeling Connected to those around me — and suddenly someone says something that pierces me through, that tells me "The people leading this place do not actually love with the love of Jesus; they withhold their love from the people he'd be caring for the most."

When I realize that, I realize I cannot be in community with that church — I have to worship somewhere I can feel safe enough to get vulnerable, and where my core values are shared so we can do good work together. (I am willing, of course, to worship with people who have flaws -- as I do -- and some differences of opinion from me, absolutely — but not ones who completely deny some people's humanity.)

So please don't apologize for not being "as loving as we're called to be." What I hear in your words, in your sense that praying "for Israel" without a single word spared for the immensity of Palestinians' suffering, is love — a love like Christ's love.

When you recognize the injustice of whose pain gets centered versus whose pain gets ignored and discredited, you are loving with the love of Jesus, who insisted that we look at the people those in power ignore; that we center those who are shoved to the margins, who are vilified, whose humanity gets denied.

When Jesus encountered a person who was actively suffering, he didn't pause to announce, "Don't forget, we must pray for the ones who put this person in this position!" He got right to healing them.

And when it comes to "loving our enemy," that never means letting them continue to get away with harm. Loving our enemies, loving oppressors, means praying that they one day recognize that what they are doing is harm — and when they do, giving them the chance to do the long hard work of changing.

This is love towards them because ultimately, their dehumanizing of another group of people dehumanizes them, too; they are destroying their own humanity by denying it to others who share the image of God with them.

I have to imagine that this church you attended prays for Israel not in that sense of, "May its government and its people recognize the evils of settler colonialism, of ethnic cleansing, of genocide and work to change." I imagine they see Israel as the "good guy" in this situation, refusing to acknowledge that what Israel is doing is genocide. They're Christian Zionists. And you are right to feel heartbroken, to feel like something is very wrong with what and how they prayed.

I understand your anxieties and fears. When it comes to people asking why you're changing churches, it's pretty normal to "shop around" when you don't currently have a church home; you can say that after a few visits, you've decided you didn't quite "click" with that church and want to see what else is out there.

As to worrying other churches will be the same — I imagine many will be. In general, more conservative churches will be more likely to support Israel, and more progressive churches will be more likely to support Palestine, but that's not always a for-sure thing, so here are other tips:

Before attending a church, check around its website (or Facebook page) to see if it has any clues — look through its calendar / events pages to see if they've held prayer vigils or attended protests for Palestine, or for Israel. If they have sermons posted online, check out a few; or if they post services online, skip to the prayer requests section of worship (usually pretty soon after the sermon) and see if they uplift any prayers for Israel or Palestine.

Wishing you well as you seek out community where Palestinians' humanity is uplifted and fought for. I'll be praying that the Spirit of Wisdom will guide you into right judgement and courage as you navigate difficult dynamics.

Finally, I'm pasting some links to other posts I think might help you as you continue to discern how you want to support Palestinians and what it means to love like Christ:

My Christian Zionism tag has more on the history of and problems with unquestioning Christian support for modern Israel .

My highest recommendation is Mitri Raheb's book Decolonizing Palestine for more on that topic in depth, along with fantastic arguments against the Zionist conflation between modern Israel and "biblical" Israel. You can read my thorough summary of Raheb's book here. .

I also recommend the book Safety through Solidarity: A Radical Guide to Fighting Antisemitism as a fantastic resource on how being anti-Zionist is not antisemitic and, in fact, Palestinians' and Jews' causes are intertwined .

If you would like suggestions for ways to help Palestinians — in general and as a Christian specifically — visit my resources webpage over here. .

I have a post that digs into Jesus' instruction to "love our enemies" — what they does and does not look like. It also talks about the problems with how Christians often interpret forgiveness. (And here is a second post that offers further reading recommendations on these issues) .

If you also struggle with feeling anger — like it's wrong for you to be angry — check out this post.

[acronampy]

Chifuyu x reader

You want to thank chifuyu your savior more properly so you ask your friend about him, to find out more about the chifuyu guy

(Forgot to mention but spoilers for 'letter from baji keisuke')

Tw swearing, mention of hitting animals

Part 1

"Chifuyu matsuno"

Chifuyu matsuno.. He's the rumored delinquent in your school, the undefeated lonewolf.' But maybe he's a nice guy since he just saved you?..

You decided to research and find matsuno chifuyu only cause you want to repay your thanks to him again! It's not like you find him kinda cool. you decided to ask your friend hana, who knows all the rumors at school about chifuyu matsuno. "Hmm.. chifuyu matsuno? Why are you asking about him, dont get yourself involved with him (reader)!!" Hana said while munching on her bread. "Hanaaa, tell me please?? what is he like?" You pout."ugh fine I'll tell you! You have to buy me the new limited edition strawberry milk at the snack shop next time!" Hana said while finishing her last piece of bread. "Yes!" You say with happiness in your voice.

"Okay, Chifuyu matsuno is rumored to be the undefeated lonewolf who never lost a fight, he's the most fearsome delinquent out there! I heard him and his little minions he calls underlings beat up little animals and leave them there ugh their just so terrible! And and he treat teachers like shit too! (Reader) never EVER get near that matsuno bastard, okay?!" "O-okay.. what class is he in so I can avoid him?" You ask again,"Ha..Hes in class 1" hana sighs."You better not get anywhere near him. Im worried for you." Hana said with worry in her voice."dont worry, i only asked cause i was curious." You feel bad lying to hana but you want to thank chifuyu matsuno again no matter what!

But hearing how hana talks about chifuyu matsuno got you kind of scared.. what happens if yesterday's incident was just because he felt like beating someone up, you sigh, but as you were getting ready to go home. Putting your shoes on, you heard some sounds and went to investigate. "Give me 10,000 yen." This big looking delinquent guy asked a 1st year, pinning him on the wall."I-i..dont have any money today.." the 1st year says with fear in his voice. "Huh? Stop lying, Boys check his pockets and bag, " the big delinquent yelled, and before you could intrubt them and call the teachers, a familiar bleached blonde mohwak stepped in. "Hey, do you think what you're doing right now is making you look cool?" It was Chifuyu matsuno! Why is he stepping up to stop the big delinquent..? "Huh, how should I car -" huh..HUH? The matsuno guy just put the big delinquent on the floor with one punch! Just one punch!! "Heres your money back, next time be more careful." The blonde mohawk said,"a-ah thank you!" The timid 1st year said still in fear and confused at what happened.

You knew it! Chifuyu matsuno isn't a bad guy at all. The rumors of him are just exaggerated! I'll say thanks to him tomorrow during lunch.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x gender neutral!reader

After Maeve

- after Maeve’s tragic murder, Spencer isolated himself in his apartment for a while

- in the two weeks he didnt leave his apartment, he was left multiple gift baskets by Penelope, and every member of the team came to visit at least once, only to be met by an unanswered door

- Spencer had gotten used to the knocks at his door followed by the voices of his friends offering their support, he never had the strength to reply verbally, but he appreciated their visits

- one day, though, a knock was followed by a voice he hadnt heard before

“Umm...hello? Is anybody home?”

- Spencer lifted himself from the couch and travelled the great distance for his front door. looking through the peephole, he saw a woman that he didnt recognise, holding a plate with a towel tenting slightly over it

- she looked worried. that was enough to override Spencer’s grief as his FBI instincts took over and he opened the door

- she grinned at him with an expression of intense relief

“O-Oh! Hello! I wasnt expecting you to answer the door, my name is (Y/N).”

“Who are you?”

- Spencer was beyond confused, but when he saw the blush that lit up your face, he wondered if his question seemed harsh or rude

“I-I live just across the hall, I moved in last week and ever since, I’ve seen people come and go from your door- a blonde woman with glasses brings baskets regularly. A-At first, because nobody ever answered the door, I thought maybe whoever lived here passed away and they were leaving things in your memory. B-But they talked to you through the door sometimes, I noticed on my way to and from work. So I thought, well, you must have gone through something terrible and I wouldnt be a very good neighbour if I didnt try to help- I know it isnt my place and Im sorry if Im oversteppi- I made some cookies but u-uh you dont have to tell me anything, I just thought- oh god Im sorry, I’ll just go.”

- your explanation was hurried, panicked and somewhat guilty as you attempted to speed walk back to your apartment

“Wait!”

- Spencer called as loudly as he could manage, you turned to face him, still clutching the towel-covered plate that he now knew to be hiding freshly baked cookies

“You dont know me, we’ve never even...”

- he couldnt bring himself to finish his sentence. never even met, just like her

- tears stung his eyes, his voice left him

- immediately, you noticed the changes in his body language and you scrambled over to him, placing the plate of cookies on the floor among the baskets

“Can I hug you? Is that alright?”

- Spencer nodded and you didnt take another second to think before you pulled him into your arms

- as soon as you embraced him, his tears broke free and rolled down his cheeks

- much to his surprise, the hug didnt feel awkward at all. it was the most comfort he had allowed himself to receive

- he felt more comfortable with someone who didnt know him, didnt know the details of what happened to him. you were someone new, someone who had never known him before he had been in this state; you had no expectations of him, no loyalties or personal care towards him, so he could break in front of you

“Shhh, it’s alright, you’re ok. Take some deep breaths for me.”

- your voice was so soothing to him, the first one he’d really heard ever since that gunshot

- Spencer nodded into your shoulder and pulled away from you slightly, which was your signal to let go of him

- he wiped his tears while you picked up the plate of cookies and gave them to him

“Like I said, you dont have to tell me anything, but these are for you. Im right across the hall if you need me.”

- and you were

- at least once a week, you would knock on Spencer’s door and deliver him a new batch of some homemade baked goods

- cookies, cakes, banana breads, anything!

- sometimes Spencer didnt have the strength to answer the door. on those days, you’d leave the plate of food at his door, run back to your apartment, handwrite a quick note with a pen, then run back to his door to place the note on top of the plate. that way he’d still get a little bit of conversation from you, even if he didnt have the strength to answer

- he couldnt describe the combination of appreciation and guilt

- on the one hand, you were ridiculously sweet to him, unconditionally caring towards someone who was little more than a stranger to you, at a time when he really needed a friend

- on the other hand though, you were working tirelessly all day and then coming home to immediately bake him something more than once a week, he didnt think he deserved that, and the closer you got to him the more in danger you were

- that mentality continued throughout your friendship

- you two naturally drifted closer than friends did, but every time Spencer noticed, he would retract into himself

- he thought he was protecting you, but in reality he was hurting you

- he didnt realise just how much pain he was causing until you confessed your feelings and broke down crying because you thought your obvious feelings for him had been making him uncomfortable

- that’s when he told you about Maeve

- it wasnt easy for him, even after knowing you over sixth months

- he cried, you cried, it was a very emotional moment

- he assured you that he did care about you a lot, more than he would for a friend, but he was just so broken

- you held him until he stopped crying, and then you told him something that changed his whole perspective

“Spencer, it is impossible for history to repeat itself. You can hit me with any statistic you want, but the fact is, no matter how similar an event may be to another, the people involved, the time, the day, the context- it would all be different, and therefore not a repeat at all. What happened to Maeve will not happen to me.”

- he knew you were right, and your words did reassure him, but his heart was still wounded; it was scarred

- somehow, without him having to say anything, you knew exactly what he needed to hear

“I dont want a relationship, not now, and not ever unless you are completely ready. Patience is as easy as breathing when it comes to love, Spence, so I dont mind waiting.”

- and that was that, you two had come to an understanding

- over time, Spencer allowed himself to venture closer to you, emotionally as well as physically

- your presence was comforting enough that once he calmed down, he wasnt afraid of the feelings he had for you

- you explained to him randomly one day that part of you was worried he only thought he had feelings for you because you had helped him heal, in the sense of sexual transference syndrome

- while you were rambling about this and essentially inventing a cop-out for Spencer just in case he didnt actually love you, he placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you walking beside him, and kissed you

- he then took a few steps, acting as though he was casually continuing to walk, while you stood frozen, in a daze

- Spencer gave you a dazzling grin, like the swoon-worthy interest in a cheesy romance movie

- without a word, you reflected his grin back at him, and took the few steps necessary to catch up with him

- the two of you began walking side by side again in silence, avoiding eye contact bashfully

- you gingerly reached out your hand and nudged his ever so gently

- Spencer smiled to himself and interlaced his fingers with yours

- and that was just the beginning