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#if you feel so inclined you can read it but honestly I wouldn’t bother it’s not interesting just whiny and rambling
corrodedcoughin · 1 year
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Pspsps can I beg for under 10k fluff fics or art. Smut can be included that does not bother me. Self promo is actively encouraged. Just anything that makes you feel happy and good and that life is okay. Ps hope you all are having a good day
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verysium · 2 months
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I’ve been seeing some discourse around twitter about the blue lock boys and whether they’d be a loyal bf or not 😭 Curious to know who do you think would be more inclined to cheat or who just wouldn’t at all!!!
I saw someone say sae would 100% cheat like whattt I feel like he wouldn’t even bother looking at anyone else if he already has someone (Cuz I mean dating him would likely mean you actually mean something to him) but I digress
ok anon you had me pulling up a whole argumentative essay here cus WHO TF SAID SAE WOULD 100% CHEAT??? 😔 that mischaracterization is so painfully inaccurate. twitter really took the whole emotionally unavailable itoshi archetype and ran with it. let me just clear the air here because my man deserves some explanation.
sae itoshi would not cheat. as in capital N and capital O. he took nearly an entire decade off his life just to work on his own issues and finally form a functional and healthy relationship with another human being. and you're telling me he's just going to let all that wash down the drain for someone else? 😒 twitter logic really be showing its illogical side here. apparently a man can be loyal to a professional sports career for eighteen years, but he can't be loyal to his significant other.
i think this misunderstanding probably happened cus of shidou. people read the manga and saw that sae dropped rin for a bug-eyed freak and automatically assumed he was disloyal. 😑 let me just say two things here:
(1) sae and shidou's relationship is strictly professional. imagine being stuck in an god awful corporate office with coworkers who bore you with their weaponized incompetence and a boss who annoys the living shit out of you. and then one day, the company hires a new recruit who is probably the most unhinged and debauched creature known to man. you're probably left wondering how he even got hired in the first place. but then you find out...he's useful. he takes risks and gets a high return on what he invests. it's impulsive and stupid, really. but at least it's unconventional and outside-the-box. he has your interest piqued. that's basically sae and shidou in a nutshell.
(2) just because sae gave shidou his number after the u-20 game does NOT mean he would do the same to any other person who would try to encroach on your relationship. and let's be real here. sae would get one text from shidou and block his contact.
anyways, here is my analysis on the bllk boys in general. introducing the anti-cheating to pro-cheating spectrum:
(A) cannot cheat under any circumstance (as in they already hate the fact that they live on a planet with 8.1 billion other people who are not you):
itoshi brothers (atp they don't even have the physical or mental capacity to entertain a third party), ness, reo
(B) cannot cheat due to physical incapability (literally cannot pull anyone within a five-meter radius to cheat with):
ego, igarashi, raichi, bachira (not that he's in any way unattractive...it's just...i feel like he would purposefully act weird to drive off people who aren't you)
(C) could not cheat (basically option A and B but less problematic version)
yukimiya, barou, kunigami, noa, loki, gagamaru, chigiri, niko, hiori, karasu (baby boy literally felt inferior cus his crush was the cutest in his class), kurona (head empty, just you)
(D) would not cheat (on you but everyone else is not included)
isagi (unintentionally a homewrecker to others but would never let anyone homewreck his relationship with you), leonardo (idk why but i just don't trust him entirely)
(E) could cheat (depends on what they get out of it):
kaiser, shidou (honestly what did you expect when you willingly dated a blonde man...)
(F) would cheat (either proven by canon or they accidentally fucked up somehow):
otoya, oliver, nagi
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kingkatsuki · 1 year
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I didn't really know who to send this to and was just going to let it rot in my brain, but you commented on the lurker situation and it got me into a weird rabbit hole and made me kinda realize something a little tangential but I think still relevant. Maybe I'm old, but it seems like the attitude around fandom has shifted in the past decade or so from a collective of like minded people sharing and creating together, to a creator/consumer relationship that mirrors influencer culture. It's all transactional now. And that makes me sad tbh. Like participating in a community is so much fun and lurkers or those who just consume without engaging are really missing out, but also I hate seeing fan work creators getting treated like content farms. If you write or create art, nowadays that seems to define your fandom identity, it becomes your (unfair) barrier for participation and validation, and you're ostracized or forgotten and replaced if you can't continue to clear that hurdle for whatever reason. There never used to be this huge gulf between fandom creators and the other members, in my experience at least. It's like people now think they only have 2 options: be a creative person and provide a steady stream of free content (for an audience that expects/demands it from you) or mindlessly consume and only ever watch to the sidelines. But it's not true! Participate! Be a hype man! Curate your favorite fan content! Do something! Fandom is supposed to be more socialism, not capitalism! And maybe try to see the writers/artists as fellow fandom members first and content creators second. Like, you'd probably be frustrated too if people who you thought were your friends expected you to always be the only one to put in any effort to the relationship and then just ignore you if you asked for anything in return. It feels bad.
Nah, in a way I kinda feel the same. Sometimes I think I must be old because when I was younger and writing was primarily on quizilla/ff.net/LJ fics always used to have lots of comments, people would comment on each individual chapter and there were always bookmarks/faves etc.
In a way I want to say the shift in fandom has meant that people are more inclined to be lurkers now, or sites like tiktok/twt have made it easier for people to lurk. Or it could be that because there are more websites and years worth of content that it’s now easier to find fics and consume them mindlessly without worrying where you’re going to get your next fix.
But then there are sites like wattpad, and I know that everyone seems to hate wattpad for various reasons, but honestly I feel like the way their site works is ingenious. It gives people who read fics the ability to comment on each paragraph of the fic, enabling them to almost “live react” as they read through. And then you can still leave a little comment at the end or discuss in the comments with other readers/the author. And if you go on there now, you’ll see the sheer number of comments some fics have.
I also think that if you’re in a smaller/niche fandom you’re more likely to get more meaningful responses/engagement for your content. I used to write for Z Nation for example, which is an extremely small community and I got maybe 10-50 notes on a fic but more than half would be people commenting or simply interacting with me? Because people were grateful to find fics for their fave fandom? Whereas Bakugou there’s a million Bakugou fics so why should someone bother interacting with anyone when they can just scroll to the next one?
So it’s websites like that which make me think it’s partly that fandoms and the way we receive content has shifted, but I also think it’s people being selfish and ungrateful too. Because they just want to mindlessly consume and they don’t think about the living, breathing person behind the screen.
But for me personally, I’ve made some of my best friends by commenting on/reblogging their fics or just talking to them? So it’s like why wouldn’t you want to interact with people who are the same as you? Who enjoy the same things? Or why wouldn’t you want to do something so simple (and free) that could make someone’s day?
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
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Try Everything
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers!
Read the series here!
Masterlist
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You weren’t his girlfriend.
He knew you weren’t his girlfriend. In fact, it was entirely his fault that you weren’t his girlfriend.
And yet, he saw you leaning towards Bucky every time he closed his eyes.
He had no right to get mad about what you did with Bucky. He knew he had broken up with you, and that meant you could do whatever you wanted. But no matter how many times he told himself that, he still felt a searing hot jealousy when he thought of it.
Despite his jealousy about the Bucky situation, Peter was still determined to get you back. He knew he messed up by breaking up with you, and now he had to fix things.
When he saw you on Monday morning at your locker, he put his plan in getting you back into motion.
“Hey.” Peter greeted you with a shy smile. You stayed silent, which is what he feared would happen.
“Are you still giving me the silent treatment?” Peter asked you.
“Are you still giving me the silent treatment.” You mimicked his voice while moving your hand like a puppet.
“Okay. That’s good.” Peter nodded. “We’re making progress.”
You glared at him before shutting your locker and walked away.
“Y/n.” Peter whined and followed you. “Don’t walk away.”
He was able to catch up to you before you went into your next class. He didn’t want to touch you, so he stood in front of you to stop you.
“You know you’re gonna have to talk to me at some point, right?” He asked. “Our lockers are right next to each other and we have multiple classes together. And summer is coming. These next few weeks are the last we’ll have together. Don’t you want to hug me once you cross the stage at graduation? Or do you want to spend these next few weeks pretending the longest relationship you ever had never happened?”
You stayed silent, knowing Peter was right. You didn’t want to leave for college knowing the two of you were enemies again.
“Please.” Peter said quietly. “You can’t just act like I’m not here.”
You looked at him for a long time, sparking hope inside him that you were going to forgive him. Finally, you cracked a smile and shook your head at him.
“Watch me.” You said before bumping his shoulder to move past him. Peter felt his heart break all over again as your footsteps sounded further and further away.
~
The next morning, Peter was back at it again with trying to talk to you. He saw you at your locker and immediately went to his.
“Good morning.” Peter smiled at you, but got no answer.
“Please, Y/n. It’s been weeks.” He frowned. “And I’m not particularly thrilled with you right now either but we need to talk.”
You wondered why he was mad at you, but you didn’t say anything.
“I fucked up.” He admitted. “I shouldn’t have broken up with you like that.”
You shut your locker and looked at him for a moment. He fought the urge to take your books from you the way he used to and act like everything was fine.
“You know how I said you’re right about once a month?” You asked him, reminding Peter of when you were first trying out the relationship.
“Yeah?” He said hopefully.
“You just hit your quota for the month.” You patted his chest and walked away from him. Peter let out a huff and walked to his first class, which of course, he had with you.
“Good morning, class.” The teacher greeted as you took your seats. “Since summer is coming, I’ve decided to give you a final project instead of a final. I’ll be picking your partners again.”
Your heart stopped for a moment when you heard the announcement. The first time she assigned partners, you ended up with a boyfriend. You could only imagine what would happen this time. Peter shifted in his seat behind you, telling you he was thinking the exact same thing.
Your teacher began to list off the partners and your anxiety built every time your name wasn’t called. The number of available students that weren’t Peter was getting lower and lower.
“Ned, Eugene, you’ll be working together.” She read off her list. You shut your eyes and prayed that you and Peter wouldn’t be matched.
“Oh no.” Ned gulped and looked at Flash.
“Oh yes.” Flash winked at Ned.
“Peter, Y/n, you’ll be working together again.” Your teacher read, knocking the wind right out of you. Peter smiled a little, happy that he’d have an excuse to talk to you.
You, on the other hand, were less than pleased. Your hand immediately shot up and you spoke before being called on.
“Can I please have a different partner?” You asked. Peter let out a sigh and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. The class, who had just gotten used to the fact that you and Peter were a couple, looked at each other in confusion.
“Why?” The teacher asked. “I thought you two had worked out your differences?”
“I thought so too.” You said sweetly. “But since my current partner has proven to be unreliable and a major A-hole, I don’t think I can trust him.”
Peter’s jaw dropped, feeling that dormant feeling of competition with you returning. If you were going to act like that, he was too.
“I also want a new partner,” Peter said as he raised his hand. “Apparently my current partner ran around to others partners when our project ended.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” You asked as you whipped around in your seat.
“Y/n. Language.” The teacher reprimanded you.
“I’m sorry.” You apologized. “I just don’t think this partner is right for me. I’d rather be on my own.”
Peter let out a humorless laugh when you used the very words he said to break up with you.
“Right. Like you were on your own in the kitchen the other night?” He shot back.
“What?” You whipped around again. “What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Peter hissed.
“No, dingus, I don’t.” You taunted. “That’s why I’m asking.”
“I’m talking about you filling yourself up with fossil fuel the second we break up”. Peter snapped.
“Fossil fuel?” You asked. Your eyes widened when you realized he meant Bucky. “Oh my God. You watched the security tapes? Are you stalking me?”
“I wouldn’t have to if you were mature enough to answer my calls.” Peter shot back.
“If you two are so inclined to have this conversation, you can continue it outside of my class.” The teacher cut in. You suddenly remembered that you were in class and had an audience watching your fight.
“Fine. I’ll leave.” Peter said as he picked up his backpack.
“Yeah.” You laughed. “He’s good at that.”
“You’re both leaving.” The teacher said. “Now.”
You grabbed your backpack and marched out of the classroom with Peter close behind him. You never turned to look at him, but you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you.
“We need to talk.” Peter called after you.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” You grumbled.
“Then how are we supposed to work together?” Peter asked, stopping in his tracks. You stopped too and whipped around to see him.
“We’ll do it on Einstein’s photoelectric effect model.” You stated. “You can do the research and I’ll write the paper. We won’t have to see each other anymore than we have to.”
“But I want to see you.” Peter said quietly.
“Oh, you do?” You folded your arms. “Is that why you broke up with me?”
“I didn’t think it would be like this.” Peter sighed. “I knew you’d be mad, but you’re acting like I don’t even exist. I know I broke your heart, and I’m really sorry about that, but we have a lot of history, Y/n. You can’t just pretend I’m not here.”
“Yes, I can.” You shrugged. “It’s easier when you don’t talk to me, though.”
Peter folded his arms as well, staring at you with fuming anger as he thought of what to say. To him, you were being unreasonably and immature. He knew you were upset, but he couldn’t fix things if you didn’t give him a chance to.
“Did you sleep with Bucky?” He blurted. It wasn’t the way he wanted to ask you, but he was at a loss for any other words.
“Oh my God.” You groaned and started walking again. “We are absolutely not having this conversation.”
“Could you please stop walking away?” Peter’s asked as he followed you. “I’m trying to talk to you.”
“I don’t care.” You said as you sped up. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Y/n.” Peter whined and began to jog to catch up. “Since when did you walk this fast?”
“Fuck off, Peter.” You called back.
“Let me talk to you.” He ran and stood in front of you again. “What were you doing with Bucky?”
“None of your business. You’re not my boyfriend, remember?” You raised your voice. “You forfeited any right to have an opinion on my life when you broke up with me and couldn’t be bothered to give me a reason why. Do you honestly think you’re allowed to be mad about Bucky? Because you’re not. I moved on, Peter. You should too.”
You tried to move past him but he blocked you.
“But with him?” He asked sadly. “You knew I was insecure about him.”
“And you knew I needed communication in a relationship.” You shot back. “And yet, we ended up on completely different pages. I don’t like being caught off guard, Peter. You knew you were gonna break up with me at lunch, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I did.” He admitted.
“That’s what I thought.” You nodded. “But instead of talking to me then, you lied to me and told me everything was fine. You’re such a dick. I can’t believe I ever loved you.”
Your words cut into Peter like a dagger. He physically stumbled back from you as your words sunk in. His eyes fell to the ground and for a moment, you felt guilty. You almost reached out and pulled him into a hug, craving his touch after three weeks without it. Instead, you shifted your backpack on your shoulder as you fought the urge to forgive him.
“Email me your research by next week.” You said before you thought it through. “And do me a favor?”
“Yeah. Anything.” Peter nodded hopefully.
“Don’t talk to me.” You smiled tightly. “Thanks.”
You turned and walked away from Peter, tears falling from your eyes the second he couldn’t see you anymore.
When his efforts to talk to you in school failed, Peter went to plan b. He went to your house right after school and knocked on your door, impatiently waiting for you to open up. Soon enough, he heard the door click and was met with your unimpressed gaze.
“Oh my God.” You groaned when you saw who it was. “You can’t just show up here.”
“And you can’t open the door if you didn’t look through the peephole first.” Peter shrugged. “What if I had a gun?”
“Do you?” You asked sarcastically.
“No.” He answered. “But you wouldn’t know that because you didn’t look through the-“
“What do you want?” You cut him off. Peter shut his mouth and let out a sigh. He knew you won’t any excuses, so he got right to it.
“I was lying.”
“Oh, great.” You smiled sarcastically and tried to close your door.
“I never fell out of love.” He continued as he held your door open. “My feelings never changed. I love you just as much now as I always have. I promise.”
You took your hand off your door when you heard this. This information changed everything for you but left you even more confused than before.
“Then why did you break up with me?” You asked quietly.
“I couldn’t sleep the night you came to my apartment after that man attacked you.” Peter began. “Or the night before. I couldn’t stop thinking that being with me meant you’d never be safe again. I broke up with you to prevent people going after you for being my girlfriend.”
“That’s ridiculous.” You scoffed. “I can protect myself.”
“That’s exactly what Ned said you would say.” Peter realized.
“So you talked to Ned about it and still broke up with me?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight.” Peter shook his head. “I just needed to know you were safe.”
“Well, I think that’s stupid.” You said simply. “And slightly narcissistic to think people care about Spiderman enough to go after his girlfriend. It’s not like you’re Iron Man or anything.”
“Are you kidding me? How is that-“ Peter cut himself off when he noticed the slight smile on your face.
“You’re teasing me.” He realized.
“Sorry.” You said unapologetically. “Habit.”
“It’s okay. I deserved that.”
You nodded in agreement and pursed your lips. Peter knew you well enough to know when you were trying to come to terms with something. He could only hope the fact that you hadn’t shut the door yet meant he was forgiven.
“Whats wrong?” He asked you.
“I’m angry that you broke up with me and lied about why.” You told him.
“I know.”
“But I’m less angry because I would have done the exact same thing.” You continued, making Peter lit up with newfound hope.
“You would have?” He asked as his lips twitched into a smile.
“You’re Spiderman. And I love that. But I love Peter Parker more.” You told him. “And if the roles were reversed, I would’ve done everything in my power to keep you safe. I’d probably do something more than what you did, but that’s just because I’m a better person than you.”
Peter laughed at your joke, missing your dry sense of humor after three weeks of silence.
“You’re not that good of a person. You fucked my coworker.” He reminded you.
“I tried to fuck your coworker.” You corrected. “But I failed so I’m basically a saint.”
“You failed?” Peter lit up. “You didn’t sleep with Bucky?”
“No.” You admitted. “He turned me down.”
Peter’s cheeks puffed up at his tried his hardest to fight a smile.
“Don’t laugh.” You pointed a finger at him.
“I’m sorry.” He burst into laughter. “But you were rejected by a terrorist. That’s so embarrassing.”
“Shut up.” You smacked his arm. “He didn’t reject me. He was being a gentleman.”
“He’s also a hundred years old, you grandpa fucker.” Peter mumbled.
“Leave me alone.” You whined. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I know.” Peter’s laughter died down. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I was really feeling. I should’ve communicated better. I know how important that is to you.”
“And I’m sorry I told my friends you had a micropenis.” You mumbled.
“That’s okay.” He nodded. “I deserved that.”
“And that I had to fake it every time.” You continued.
“Okay.” He liked that one a little less.
“And that you’re on steroids.” You mumbled.
“You’re pushing it.”
“Sorry.” You chuckled, and he couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’m sorry too. And I meant everything I said. I never stopped loving you.” Peter told you. “Did you stop loving me?”
“I tried to.” You admitted. “But even when I hated you, I always loved you more.”
“So are we okay?” Peter hoped. Your smile dropped suddenly, and Peter’s heart went with it.
“No, Peter.” You said quietly. “I don’t think we are.”
“Why not?”
“How do I know this isn’t gonna happen again? It’s a valid concern, to think that people will go after me because of you.” You told him. “How do I know you won’t break up with me every time you think I’m in danger?
“I won’t do that.” Peter promised you.
“You just did.” You reminded him. “What makes you think you won’t do it again?”
Peter grimaced, knowing his answer was not what you were looking to hear.
“I hate to say this, but I don’t know.” He confessed. “I just think I won’t.”
“Well I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who “just thinks” he won’t break up with me.” You said as you folded your arms.
“I think you should.” Peter pouted. “I think it would be fun.”
“Or how about this? Maybe I agree with you.” You shrugged. “Maybe I don’t want to date you anymore because I don’t want to be in danger.”
“What?” Peter sputtered. “Since when do you ever agree with me?”
“Since now.” You decided.
“Then we’ll make a compromise.” Peter suggested. “We just won’t be seen together while I’m in the suit. And I’ll get Mr. Stark to make you some travel sizes weapons so you can protect yourself. And he can put a tracker on you like he has a tracker on me. And we can figure out-“
“Hm.” You cut Peter off and took your time looking him up and down.
“What’s wrong?” He panicked. “Is that not enough?”
“I’ve just decided that I don’t like you anymore.” You said simply. Peter let out a sigh of relief when he realized you were joking.
“Don’t even start.” He warned.
“I can’t be with you.” You shrugged. “I’ve fallen in love with Bucky. Its the criminal record. I just can’t help myself.”
“Yes you can”. Peter insisted.
“No. His thunder thighs are calling me.” You tried to shut the door again. “I can hear them now.”
You stepped back into your apartment, and Peter took a step in. He cupped your face in his hands and spun you around, pinning you against your front door.
“If you want to get rid of me, you’re gonna have to try harder than that.” He mumbled as he brushed your bottom lip with his thumb.
“Well I do love a challenge.” You smiled under his thumb. “I bet I could-“
Peter didn’t let you finish as he pressed his body into yours and shut you up with a kiss.
“You talk too much.” He mumbled against your lips before going in for another kiss. You gripped the lapels of his flannel to pull him closer, but pushed him away suddenly with your eyebrows furrowed.
“Fuck.” You exclaimed with an angry huff.
“What’s wrong?” Peter worried as he took his hands off of you.
“I just remembered we have another fucking project to do.” You grumbled.
“That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” He laughed in disbelief. “Our school project?”
“You’re laughing because you weren’t the one who did most of the work last time.” You pointed out.
“Can you please stop talking so I can kiss you?” Peter whined. “We can worry about that later.”
“But we have to at least start-“ Your sentence was once again cut off by Peter’s lips, and this time, you were glad he shut you up. You were finally back together and you had deeply missed his touch.
The project could wait.
THE END 
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cinnamonest · 3 years
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I’ve read most everything on your yandere Genshin chars but just got to Kaeya n the punishments and was pleasantly surprised by the back-door entry punishment and feel now safe to ask...
Are there other chars that would resort to this or maybe even be inclined towards anal? XD weirdly one of my biggest interests tbh besides breeding I don’t knooow whyy.
Oh same anon. It’s up there in my top kinks and I don’t talk bout anal enough it’s such a good kink, so I’m about to change that and give it appreciation, obvious tw for anal here
It's obviously a big thing for sadists of any kind. So basically, aside from Kaeya, Childe and Scara are both likely to get into it to some extent. Childe slightly less so than Kaeya, but both of them will use it as a form of punishment -- Childe is just slightly more prone to spanking than anal because it ignites our boy's weird fetish for violence a bit better. Whereas Kaeya's more of a horny bastard so punishments that have his dick in you in some way or another are the best.
Notably, Childe's more into actually warning you and making you squirm, listening to you beg and whimper and see you all scared, so he draws out the process before actually shoving his dick in. He's just mean about it, but he's big on verbal mockery to begin with -- tells you things like "don't worry, it only hurts a lot :)" or "it's ok, feel free to cry :)". Bastard. Also likes to hold you in positions so you can try to pull yourself off, that way he can just grab you and pull you back on.
Kaeya's more into it in a surprise sort of way, will just kinda get lube or cum all over your holes so you don't specifically know and kinda shove it in to your surprise. It's cute, your eyes go wide open and you squeal and scream and kick your feet and try to pull yourself off. He kinda forces you into positions where you can't move though, you have no choice but to just take it -- mating press, flat on your stomach, bent over and pressed against something so you can't move forward. He doesn’t mock you beforehand since he likes to catch you off guard, but laughs at your initial squealing and struggling and mocks you throughout, as well as after, thinks it’s cute how you can’t stand and how you hiss and whimper every time you sit down or move around.
Scara's similar but unfortunately for darling he'll also just fuck your poor ass at random too just because he feels like it because he likes watching you cry, or maybe is just mad and needs something to take it out on, which almost always ends up being you. He's definitely the roughest and the most likely candidate to pull the "yeah spit is perfectly acceptable lube" bullshit so it hurts the most. Also degrading about it.
Other notable candidates to actually do anal or get into it in some way, perhaps some surprisingly, would be Chongyun, Xiao, Razor, and Zhongli. The first three have a commonality where it's most likely an accident at first, fucking you too hard and accidentally slip out, try to shove their dick back in, and end up watching you squeal and pull back when their cock slips into the wrong hole.
Chongyun's is most likely during a manic episode, and only occurs during those episodes -- he's just fucking so hard and fast it ends up happening more than once. He apologizes afterwards, feels bad about it, but it keeps happening. Honestly it's something he genuinely likes, but his normal self doesn't want to hurt you, but the manic self is basically his "true" self without any inhibitions, so he doesn't hold back. He couldn’t really tell you why he likes it, it’s just hot.
Razor and Xiao are similar, it just is so so so tight and feels so good on their dick and once they've accidentally discovered it you'll wish they hadn't. Razor doesn't get the difference, will just kinda be like "oh, sorry" but keep fucking you. He just knows that it feels nice, but doesn't really have a preference, boy just needs his dick in a tight wet warm hole, and if it's in one or the other he's not gonna bother to take it out, just keeps fucking you. You’ll get used to it. Probably. 
Xiao might do it intentionally, it just feels so nice you know? It wouldn't click in his mind at first to use it for punishment purposes, but eventually seeing you squirm and cry he puts two and two together and it clicks and he realizes it's a good way to punish. But he doesn't draw it out or threaten you, just kinda shoves it in if he's mad. 
The most unfortunate part to both these boys is they don't get the difference so they fuck just as hard and fast and don't quite understand the concept of preparation and lube. They'll find some form of lube because they don't want to tear you (because then they couldn't keep fucking you you know?), but see no need to stretch you out beforehand.
And Zhongli might come as a bit of a surprise, but it's entirely punishment based and he's slower and gentle about it, but I mean, his dick is huge so no matter how prepared you are it's still gonna hurt like a bitch and be a very effective form of punishment. He has a unique form of how to handle offenses -- most come up with whatever they feel like on the spot, but he lays out early on a system of sorts, a mental chart of how different offenses are punished, scales of severity, basically "this offense is punished this way each time", very specific, right down to the number of spanks and the like. So you can't get out of it, because, well, you knew exactly what would happen, but you chose to do what you did anyway, so you should have been prepared for the consequences. Also, he gets really into plugs, especially ones with tails attached, probably has you wear one most of the time.
And finally Albedo gets super into it tbh and is the most likely candidate for lots of things. He's our gross boi. He's quiet about it, like the majority of his gross and sadistic tendencies, and this often, similar to Kaeya, results in you being very caught off guard and by surprise. Will literally just switch holes mid-fucking. If he *does* warn you, he's big fan of making you suck his dick and fingers to use it as lube beforehand. He does, thankfully, get a lot of it though, spits on your hole, likely uses actual lube a lot of the time, he likes the squelching and fluids. On the downside, since he's into all things gross or weird or less common, he gets into testing your poor ass's limits, seeing what the biggest size plug you can handle is, stretching you out, see how long you can hold things in. Also most likely candidate to get into weird things and shoving various objects in you - slimes, toys, inanimate objects etc. Also most likely candidate for painful things like figging or finding a way to make lube super cold, hot, tingly etc. And, finally, most likely candidate to completely cut you off from PIV for an extended period of time - instead of a one-time punishment, darling is looking at several days, even weeks of only anal. It's cute how you try to run away and all. And will definitely try to figure out a way to make you cum from it, too.
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spidernana · 3 years
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Day 4: Tired
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34214341/chapters/85306531
Some days it was good to be a basically invisible, ephemeral being. It came in handy when snatching things out of unsuspecting monsters' pockets, drawing on people's faces while they slept, and sticking gum in obnoxious do-gooders' hair.
Chara still hadn't forgiven her for that one... heheh.
But some days, Frisk was convinced that it was the hardest thing in the universe. Those days were ones like these, when her absent-minded floating around the chimney tops in Snowdin Village (not any one in particular... the skeleton brothers' just happened to have a great view over the forest) was interrupted by a louder than usual slam of the front door, so hard the windows shook in their frames and several drifts of snow slid from the roof and to the ground below.
Couldn't have been Papyrus... she'd seen the lanky layabout slouching off towards Waterfall with Chara hours ago. They'd be sure to be gone til the night cycle, at the very least... Chara loved to watch the crystals in the dark, and her skeletal bone-friend loved to distract her from them as best as possible.
Tsk.
So it was Sans... and he was in a mood.
Not that that was an unusual event. Sans always seemed to be in a mood, ranging from gloating giddiness to tempestuous rage, and liked to inflict his varying tempers on everyone in his vicinity. On top of that, his personality was overwhelming and electrifying, despite his stature, so it was nearly impossible to even pretend to ignore him, he was just too magnetic for that.
You could say that she, in particular, need not play party to the older skeleton monster's vacillating moods... he should, among all others besides Chara, not even know she existed. And yet she tossed away a scrap of paper she had been reading, an advertisement of some sort for a fortune-telling monster bearing an evil grin and three eyes, drifted through the roof of the large, two-story house, through a dusty and disused attic chock full of lovingly packed boxes of photographs and baby monster toys (he had been a very doting older brother, while raising Papyrus... she'd looked over nearly every one of the pictures in her boredom), and through the ceiling of the room where she was certain Sans had stormed off to anyway, because despite all logic, despite her shock and trepidation over the fact... Sans could see her. He always had been able to, from the moment he spotted her hanging around behind Chara's shoulder, that first day on the snowy roads in the forest.
She didn't understand it... she'd been dead, and long forgotten, surely, by just about every monster in the Underground. The taste of that fact was a bitter one, one that had, at first, brought to life a vengeful hatred... but Chara's kind heart, and Sans' ability to see and speak with her (whether he wanted to or not; she'd hung around him almost incessantly since she'd discovered his ability, despite his explicit and violent demands that she be gone), had stilled her vengeance, and awoken something she hadn't felt in ages gone.
Curiosity.
This was what brought her to the captain of the Royal Guard's bedroom late in the evening, peeking through the plaster and paint cautiously to ensure he wasn't... busy (neither spoke of the time she had found him occupied, for lack of a better term... though she thought of it, on occasion), and found the skeleton monster, oddly still wearing his armor, collapsed face first on his extravagant and lusciously made-up bed. All the blacks and reds blended in so well that she nearly didn't spot him lying there, and wouldn't have but for the long and weary groan he let out, muffled by the pillow he seemed to be hugging.
The mischievous grin that had grown across her face, in anticipation of annoying the prickly monster further, vanished as she watched him hug the pillow to himself tighter, the plates of his armor catching the light of the one lamp he had bothered to turn on.
This wasn't like him at all. Something was wrong.
Slowly, so slowly that she almost felt silly for doing it (it's not as though her movements made any sound... she just had the strangest inclination not to disturb him ), Frisk glided down from the ceiling to the floor, to dither uselessly at his bedside. The crack slowly but surely marching its way over the top of his skull seemed to grin at her, from this angle, mocking her inability to help anyone now, and for a moment, a long, silent moment that carried and echoed and stung, she considered just leaving again. He'd never appreciated her presence, not really... she liked to hang around just to get a rise out of him, honestly, and he was always willing to give her that.
But now... there was no desire to pester him now, and in the lack of her usual occupation, she was uncertain of what to do. She could offer him little comfort... that sort of thing was outside her wheelhouse. Should she go to Waterfall, and tell Chara that her best friend was in need of her company (more than the mutt, at least...)? Maybe she could-
“If you are here to mock me, princess, I would like for you to get on with it and leave me. I am not in the mood for much more distress than I've already dealt with today.”
Frisk jolted, any remaining fragments of a soul she still had nearly leaping from her ghostly chest. Sans hadn't moved from his position, face still buried in his pillow and legs curled nearly up against his chest, but had somehow known she was there.
Another curiosity...
“I'm... I'm not gonna do that today,” she managed to whisper, once her shock had settled, and sat on the edge of the bed, as near to him as she felt she could without upsetting him further. For a monster his age, and an unmated one at that, Sans was rigorously insistent on propriety, and had nearly shouted himself hoarse the first time she'd welcomed herself into his bedroom, despite the fact that she was all but literally a ghost. He'd given up that fight awhile ago, after she'd made it clear she didn't intend to listen to him on that account, but she did allow him the space he insisted two unmated people required between them.
Not that her touching him would do anything. No one had ever felt it when she'd tried to make contact with them before... she had the ability to touch and manipulate inanimate objects, but had never been able to exert her will enough to affect anything living.
Maybe if she touched their souls... but that was another thing entirely. Off-limits. Taboo, and akin to possession, more than likely.
She was getting lost in her thoughts again. Damnit.
When she withdrew from her own, slightly see-through head, it was to face the monster she had sat beside head on, his cracked and narrowed sockets, lit with fiery pinpricks of scarlet magic, watching her with clear and disdainful mistrust. It was always such a rush, to know he could see her... Chara could feel her presence and hear her, but Sans was the only one that had ever actually looked at her, after she'd woken up as a spirit.
“You'll forgive my skepticism, considering your proclivity to bother me at every possible moment,” he scoffed, laying his skull on the pillow again but keeping his face turned towards her, and Frisk could only shrug. She had no way to refute that, in all honesty... it was true.
Why did it leave her aching, in the strangest and most impossible way?
“Fair enough. You just... don't seem okay. Are you? ...okay?” she replied, tapping ethereal fingers against a nonexistent knee, and Sans flicked the flecks of light in his sockets over her face, his mistrust lingering for another, tense moment before, alarmingly, he seemed to buckle, the tension in his body falling away. His sockets turned away, to consider his intricately decorated duvet, and his arms clenched more tightly around his pillow, until she could almost hear the cotton within complaining.
“...You are possibly the only person I can tell this to, with full confidence that it will not leave the room,” he murmured, his jaw, lined with sharpened fangs, gritting as he chewed over whatever was going on inside his skull, and Frisk leaned closer, now more than rapt.
Sans sighed, not even glancing up to look at her, and squeezed his sockets shut, as though his words hurt for him to even be able to consider seeing them realized.
“The queen has been facing criticism for giving Chara refuge rather than killing them... and she has decided to blame me for it. All I have heard for the past two weeks have been calls for my head, or at the very least my resignation. I have no intent to back down, and I can more than defend myself, but...” he paused, his words falling away and his expression hardening.
“But I doubt myself. Did I truly have a good reason to spare them? Was I blinded by foolish sentiment? And my brother... would it have been kinder for Chara to die before he knew they were soulmates? Losing her now would kill him, but then... perhaps it would not have. I do not know. And it irks.”
He turned his face away again, pressing it deep within the comforting embrace of his pillow.
“I am weary of it all, princess. More tired than I ever have been,” he murmured, Frisk could only stare at the back of his skull, at a complete loss. She knew her mother could be petty, but this was just disgraceful. Mercy was a new sentiment for most monsters, certainly, but Toriel couldn't really be so cowardly as to throw the only person that stood up for a helpless human amongst literal monsters under the bus.
Well. Maybe she could. She'd been cowardly in much more pressing circumstances too...
Frisk teetered there, for a moment, on the brink of simply leaving him to his difficulty (who was she to give advice? She'd utterly failed where he had succeeded, she had no right or ability-)... before letting out a ghostly sigh of her own. She reached out a hand, from a long dead but still present instinct, to touch the back of his skull comfortingly, knowing full well that he wouldn't feel it but wanting to do something all the same.
“As... as someone that went that road... made decisions that cost monsters their freedom, and someone dear to me their life... I can tell you that you made the best possible choice. Chara deserves to live, and monsters can find another way, rather than through hate. I didn't see it then. But you did. Don't doubt yourself over that, not when you've done more good than anyone,” she muttered quietly, rubbing her thumb over the back of his skull, and then let out a chuckle, shaking her head as she pulled her hand back to her own custody.
“And as gross as it is to see them together... Chara and Papyrus deserve the love they have. I don't think you really believe it would have been better for him to never have felt that way. Not with how much you care about him,” she finished, smiling despite herself, and fell silent when Sans, his armor clanking against itself solidly (that stuff must weight a ton... crap, how strong was he?), sat up and turned to look at her, almost through her, so hard that she felt she shouldn't have said anything at all.
She thought she saw his hand start to rise to touch the back of his skull, for an ironically breathless moment, hope singing through her so quickly and suddenly that it made her ghostly head spin (what...? Why did she want him to be able to feel her so badly?), but he merely adjusted the seating of his armor on his shoulders before folding his arms across his chest and raising his cracked brow.
“Surprisingly insightful, for you. I must say I am impressed,” he snarked, the barest hint of a smile pulling at his fanged mouth, and Frisk rolled her eyes, pushing off the bed and into the air with a crude snort.
“I've got more where that came from too, if you'd ever do more than cuss at me. Don't you know how to talk to a lady?” she sniped, sticking her tongue out at him, and Sans barked out a laugh, smirking fully up at her now.
“Let me know when a lady is present, and I will treat with her appropriately,” he replied cattily, and Frisk, with a huff and a blown raspberry, glided her way up through the ceiling without another word, though, for some reason, their banter had left a warm and permeating glow within her, spreading from her invisible fingertips to her ghostly toes.
She'd seen another side of Sans today... one that had surprised her. Maybe she should try to talk to him more, rather than just pestering him constantly. She could ease back on it...
Heh. Only a little, though.
----------------------------------------
Sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, suddenly alone and feeling a little more empty for it, Sans looked, for a moment, at the spot that the ephemeral vision of both loveliness and irritation had sat in only a moment before, and raised a gloved hand to rub at the back of his skull.
As she had spoken to him, words of wisdom that had touched his soul more than he cared to admit, he had felt... something, though he wasn't sure what, glide across the back of his skull. More than a breeze, and less than a caress... could she have touched him?
She was an odd enough being, for a ghost... maybe she was able to. Or maybe she was something else entirely...
He brought his hand back around, rubbing his fingers together and looking at them intently, as though expecting something, some sort of proof, that it had really happened. Of course, nothing was there... but the sudden and aching sensation of disappointment was such that he had to hold his hand to his chest for a moment, thrown by how much such a short and simple meeting had affected him.
Perhaps it was nothing.
...or perhaps it was everything.
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evolutionsvoid · 2 years
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Folk who have read some of my work before should already know what is coming here. You all know how Chlora feels about names like "Pig Dragon" and "Savanna Devil." So what are my thoughts on a species that is called "Alpine Killer?" Well, honestly, my mind isn't lingering on that name, it is more focused on the utter idiot who coined it. If I had been on that mountain the same time they were up there developing that title, the name "Alpine Killer" would have gone to something else entirely. Why do people do this? Who lets these people into our field? When you work in the realm of discovering new species and researching everything about them, I would assume that comes with a love for other living things. A passion for finding and learning, an eagerness to show the world the majesty of nature! So why would some knot headed fool think that "Alpine Killer" was a good name to go with? What benefit does it have? The only helpful thing about it is that it at least mentions where they live, but that is all! "Alpine Killer," what a butchery of words! Well, I best get onto actually talking about them. I already know this section is going to get cut. The horribly named Alpine Killers are large, flightless insects that can be found in mountainous areas. Up upon the rocky hills and snowy peaks they climb and hunt. Many folk look at these creatures and instantly assume that they are related to ants, which is technically true! They do have some relations to ants, but those are not their closest relatives! Further study has found them to be more related to wasps! Rather surprising, which probably comes from their lack of wings. High up in the mountains where the wind howls and the storms rage, flying can be a bit risky. True, there are winged species that brave these conditions, but the Alpine Killers have chosen to not bother with it. They have lost their wings as a result, but they didn't get rid of everything. Dissections of dead specimens have shown that they still retain a good amount of flight muscle inside their bodies, but they aren't used for flying. Instead these muscles have been given a new role: making heat! If you have ever shivered in the cold before, then you know how they work! These muscles go through rapid movement to help produce heat to warm their body, one of the ways they survive the cold climate. The other way they endure the snow and frost is with their thick fur, which helps keep in that heat they generate. Able to live through this chill, they skitter and climb across the mountains with their clawed legs, which are excellent at gripping the stony or icy surfaces! Since they have six legs, they are incredible climbers and are able to traverse any obstacle in their path. There are few places prey can run, as the Alpine Killer scrabbles up cliffs and steep slopes with ease!
Unfortunately, the name "Alpine Killer" gives away the fact that they are carnivores, though it really shouldn't. Yeah, meat eaters are considered killers since they have to kill prey to live, but the word "killer" always felt like one that should be used on individuals who cause unnecessary death. You wouldn't call a cow farmer a killer, or a hunter looking to put food on the table, so why label carnivores that? In truth, that word is more fitting for certain herbivores! They don't eat meat, but they have certainly put some folk in the ground regardless! I would be more inclined to use the word "killer" around a Khalkotauroi then one of these creatures, as those bulls will smear you across the savanna if you sneeze too loud! I am getting off subject again, whoops! Anyways, Alpine Killers are indeed carnivores, hunting for prey upon these frigid slopes. They are not ambush predators, rather they stalk their food and strike when the moment is right. In such a landscape, animals can be quite scarce or hard to find, so the Alpine Killer needs a way to spot them. Their huge eyes are how they locate prey, as they climb up high and survey the mountainside for any traces of life. Their vision is quite impressive, as they can pick out small scurrying mammals from all the rocks and snow! They also look out for mountain goats and other high altitude grazers. Once they spot an ideal target, they silently crawl across the mountain to get close to them. This process can take awhile, as they not only locate prey from very far away, but they make sure to move in such a slow methodical manner that they don't spook their target before they arrive. Travelers who come across Alipine Killers will often see them stalking across the slope with full focus, but they rarely ever see the insect's target. This is because the prey is practically miles away, and the Alpine Killer is being very careful in its approach. When it does finally close in on its prey, it keeps its body low and hides itself amongst the rocks. It is looking for an opening, but what that is depends on the target. For smaller mammals, like hares or pikas, the Alpine Killer is waiting for them to move towards shelter. Burrows or piles of rocks often seem like sanctuary for these creatures, and this insect is counting on that. When the critter gets near a hiding place, the Killer will make itself known and spring into action. Faced with a sudden threat, these mammals are practically guaranteed to dive into cover, hiding in a place where the large predator cannot fit. It is true that the Alpine Killer cannot squeeze into these burrows, but it doesn't have to! This species possesses an incredibly long and flexible stinger, one they can manipulate with surprising dexterity. With the prey hiding within, the hunter will extend this stinger and send it down after its target. Armed with a barbed tip and agonizing venom, it goes down like a bendy harpoon and spears its victim. Debilitated by pain and skewered, the prey can do little as it is dragged back to the surface and into the waiting jaws.
For larger prey, like mountain goats, the Alpine Killer is waiting for them to position themselves on a steep surface or long drop. With incredible gripping hooves, the goats of these regions can climb cliffs with ease and can seemingly stand on sheer rock face! This is good for reaching vegetation or escaping predators, but it offers no salvation from the Alpine Killers. When the goat is climbing up such a steep area, it cannot easily run away, lest it slip and fall. This allows the Alpine Killer to give chase, as they would lose in a straight race with the goat, but would beat them thoroughly at a climbing competition. With the target exposed on the cliff or slope, the Killer charges and begins its attack. If the Alpine Killer is above the goat, it will drop down with its mighty mandibles and take them by the neck. The razor spikes lining this jaw will pierce the throat and bring a swift death, then it will use its legs and strong jaws to haul its catch to an easier dining spot. If it is attacking from below or the side, it will rely on its stinger. It will climb close enough for it to whip out this weapon and stab the scrambling goat. The painful venom will shock the muscles of the prey, inevitably leading to a slip and fall. Unable to maintain their precarious perch, the goat will plunge to its death and the insect will climb down to collect the remains. Even if the goat is able to hold itself and keep from falling, the stinger or jaws will arrive to forcibly drag them off the slope. Two interesting methods, but one inevitable outcome. Which would you prefer? A quick blade through the throat or a long fall to your death? Which would I choose? I'm asking you, silly!
With these hunting tactics and a fierce appearance, some idiot may think the name "Alpine Killer" is a good fit. I disagree, but who cares what I think? The name has stuck regardless, even though casualties at the jaws of these beasts are incredibly rare. Turns out, when you live high up on dangerous slopes where the weather is freezing and terrifying, not a lot of people will come up to visit you! Since few people really enter these territories for long, the interactions between civilization and mountain insect are quite limited. This is also why information and research on them is scarce, as it is a bit difficult studying them. They are predators that stay out of sight and move silently, so good luck spotting them! They also have great vision, so they will see you coming from a mile away and be long gone by the time you get to them. Believe me! I have heard enough stories of failed trips to know not to bother with an expedition for this species. Rather, I just find another animal that lives in their territory and study them instead! If I happen to see an Alpine Killer during that trip, then it is an added bonus! If I don't, and I usually don't, I still have a reason to be up there freezing my roots off! What a genius tactic! Maybe if this species moves somewhere warmer, I will put in some more effort!     Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ---------------------------------------------
“Alpine Killer”
I did warn you guys about the mountain wasps, now look where we are! Just because they don't have wings doesn't mean they can't be high up!
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seijorhi · 4 years
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Nothing Fucks with My Baby
The (not so) long awaited Hitman AU 👀
Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader
TW Blood, minor violence, referenced/implied murder, stalking, implied kidnapping
Iwaizumi has one rule. No kids.
They could be the damn antichrist for all he cares, if they’re underage, they’re off limits. Anyone else is fair game - kind old ladies, rich corrupt businessmen, housewives, politicians. He doesn’t give a shit so long as he gets paid, and paid well.
You were fair game.
He never cares why. Iwa has better things to do than listen to meaningless justifications and vendettas. They make no difference either way - he’s being paid to kill, so he’ll kill, ruthlessly and without prejudice. All he wants is a name, a picture and whether or not they want brains splattered on pavement or something a little more refined. An address doesn’t go astray, but he’ll work with what he’s got, it’s the reason he can charge a fucking premium.
But you… you weren’t what he expected. He’s used to filth. Liars, cheaters, bottom of the barrel trash. Every once in a while some poor idiot gets caught up in something they don’t understand and ultimately pay the price for it, but good people don’t often end up in files splayed across Iwaizumi’s desk. He’s not used to innocence, and as far as he’s concerned, you’re as close as they come.
He supposes that things might have been different if they’d wanted you dead quickly. 
Publicly. 
But they didn’t want that. They wanted you to disappear without a fucking trace. It wasn’t a kindness - it just meant more work for him. It meant that instead of staring down the barrel of a sniper rifle perched in the window of an empty apartment across the street from yours, he’d have to get his hands dirty.
If you want somebody to blame, sweetheart, why don’t you start with them?
In hindsight, he probably didn’t need to go inside the little coffee joint you worked at. He could lie to himself and say that it was an excuse to get closer to you, to see if you had friends at your work who might try and get in the way, but the simple truth was that he’d been up since four in the fucking morning, and he might just have shot somebody out of sheer irritation if he didn’t get a hit of caffeine and soon. 
Might as well kill two birds with one stone, right?
And it wasn’t like you were going to recognise him. Three days in, and as far as Iwa can tell, you don’t have the slightest idea that you were being watched, much less that the pair of eyes watching belonged to a cold hearted killer. 
People tend to be a little more scared when they sense he’s coming - there’s a kind of innate fear that seeps from every pore as they scurry about trying to hide, trying to put off the inevitable - but you, you’re just blissfully oblivious, flitting around with those wide doe eyes like you haven’t got a damn care in the world. 
He honestly doesn’t know whether he wants to envy or pity you for that sweet naivety. 
Currently though, he’s more concerned with whether or not you can make a half decent cup of coffee. 
“I asked for an extra hot latte.”
Or he would be, if the asshole with slicked back hair and an expensive suit hadn’t cut him off just as he was about to step up to the counter to shove the coffee you’d just made him back in your face. He watches your eyes widen for a split second before you smile - apologetic and demure before you can even open your mouth.
“Oh, I’m sorry, is it not hot enough?” 
The moment the words leave your lips, you all but flinch. Both you and he know that despite the fact you mean them sincerely (which kind of surprises him, considering that if your situations were reversed he wouldn’t have been nearly so generous) they’re a mistake.
The asshole sneers down at you like you’re nothing more than scum on his shoes. “If it was fucking hot enough, I wouldn’t be wasting my time complaining, now would I?”
Even before he found himself dabbling in his current line of work, Iwaizumi never considered himself much of a knight in shining armour. The world’s a shitty place, it’s not his job to go around fixing things and softening blows. He’s not a cold, emotionless bastard, as most people assume, he just has better things to do than run around playing a damn bleeding heart and sticking his neck out for strangers. It’s not his problem and as far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t owe anybody shit.
Impassive olive eyes watch as you try and backtrack, apologising again, offering to make him a new drink, explaining that the reason the coffee wasn’t as hot as he wanted was because you were trying not to scorch the milk- for naught.
You in your naive little world don’t seem to realise that the asshole doesn’t actually give a shit about the coffee. He wants a power trip, and you’ve given him the perfect excuse. He wants to yell and scream and stamp his feet and take all of his repressed anger and feelings of inadequacy out on you so that he can feel like a big man. He wants to see you whimper and cry and bow down before him.
It’s pathetic, but Iwa’s content to watch it play out, drumming his fingers against the wallet in his hand, more irritated with the delay in getting his own coffee than the outburst itself-
Until the asshole reaches for his latte. 
Iwa’s good at reading people, predicting their movements before they’re even made. It’s a necessary skill in his profession, one that’s saved his skin more times than he can count. He sees the little vein in the asshole’s temple throb, his jaw tighten, and the moment his hand twitches towards the still steaming cup of coffee, Iwa knows that he fully intends on throwing it at you.
He moves quicker than a man of his size has any right to, an iron grip wrapping around the asshole’s wrist, squeezing. He glares, sneering down at the man who all of a sudden doesn’t seem quite so angry, much less imposing. 
“Get out,” he hisses.
It’s not a request.
But the asshole either has a death wish or he’s trying to salvage what’s left of his fragile ego, because his beady eyes narrow and he opens his mouth - no doubt to spew more vitriolic bullshit.
Iwa twists.
Not hard enough to break anything, but hard enough that it sends the man to his knees, whimpering like a kicked puppy, desperate to relieve the pressure on his wrist. 
“I said,” he begins, his voice colder than ice, “get out.”
Yet he doesn’t spare the asshole another glance, not even as he releases his grip and the man skitters away like he’s been burned. The cafe is deathly silent, and without even glancing around, Iwa knows that they’ve managed to draw the attention of most if not all of its patrons.
And for once, he doesn’t give a single fuck.
Iwa’s eyes, his attention, all of it is focused entirely on you - on the wide eyed, stunned look on your pretty face. It’s a violent outburst, not nearly close to what he’s truly capable of, but in the quiet little cafe on a dreary Tuesday morning, glaringly out of place.
Will you burst into tears, he wonders. Ignore it, brush it aside and pretend it never happened? Stutter out more apologies for causing a fuss, for making a simple mistake? He somehow doubts you’ll be the type to scold him for it. No, you’re far too meek for that.
You surprise him, smiling slowly instead, and it’s like the sun breaking through the clouds after a storm.
It’s a far cry from the contrite air you’d graced the asshole with earlier. It’s hesitant, nervous, but it’s very much real, and Iwa finds it difficult to stop the corners of his own lips from twitching upwards in response.
“Thank you,” you murmur.
He inclines his head a fraction. “Don’t worry about it.”
You don’t charge him for the coffee, even when he practically shoves the bills across the counter into your hands.
“Don’t worry about it,” you shyly parrot back at him, and he almost fucking snorts when there’s a warmed chocolate chip muffin waiting with his coffee when it’s ready.
He’s being paid forty grand to make sure you’re dead by the end of the week, and you’re here giving him free muffins. Oikawa would see the humour in that. Of course, Oikawa would have absolutely no qualms in charming the absolute hell out of you seconds before he pulled the trigger. Realistically, he shouldn’t either. It’s his job, nothing personal.
To say he enjoys killing is probably a stretch, but he takes pride in it. Iwa’s good at what he does. It’s simple. Easy - so long as he follows his own rules.
This shouldn’t be any different. You’re cute, he supposes, in an odd sort of way. Innocent.
Endearing.
It shouldn’t have an effect on him. 
It doesn’t, but-
He could have killed you two days ago. He’d be willing to bet good money that he could’ve walked right to your apartment, knocked on your door, made up some bullshit excuse on the spot and you would have smiled and invited him right inside. 
And it’s not like you’d stand a chance of being able to fight him off.
Over the past few days there have been at least twelve different moments that Iwaizumi could have stepped in and snuffed that pretty little life of yours out without making a fuss and it would have been easy.
But he hadn’t.
There’s a difference between surveillance and stalking - it’s a fine line, a blurred one maybe, but it’s there all the same. After yet another night spent camped out watching you move about your apartment - cooking dinner for yourself, zoning out on the couch and fiddling with your phone while the tv plays in the background before finally curling up in bed in the early hours of the morning - Iwa comes to the realisation that he’s crossed it. 
He wonders why it doesn’t bother him like it should.
The next day, he goes back to your little coffee shop. There’s no muffin this time, but your face brightens when he walks through the door and when he goes to pick up his coffee there’s a tiny, bite sized cookie sitting atop the lid.
“Don’t tell my boss,” you whisper, darting a glance back over your shoulder even as another pretty little smile graces your features.
Something unexpectedly warm and pleasant sings through his blood, and this time Iwa allows his own lips to twitch into the faintest hint of a grin in response.
You really are a truly awful judge of character.
Maybe that’s your downfall, that beautiful, naive innocence you just bleed. It’s a wonder that nobody’s come along to take advantage of you, especially when you are so very ripe for the taking. 
Well, nobody until him, he supposes. 
Iwa doesn’t know for certain why the men who want you dead do, he doesn’t particularly care either, but he does know that whatever their reasons are, it’s not enough.
Neither is forty thousand dollars.
It takes time, more than he’d like, to find the root of it all. It’s messy and he has to call in a few favours from old friends, but Iwa is nothing if not thorough.
He’s never particularly enjoyed killing, but there’s a certain satisfaction he gets from watching the light leave their desperate, pleading eyes knowing that he’s finally done his job. When he comes home, his shirt flecked with blood, his hands still dripping with it and coaxes your stricken, tear stained face up into a lingering kiss, Iwa feels content.
They wanted you to disappear entirely, he made sure that you did. 
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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years
Text
Mattress Comfort | Ashton Irwin
Summary; Ashton comes home, and as his girlfriend’s sponsor, and of course lover, he is there to help her get through her difficulties.
Warnings; depression, angst, mentions of self harm, fluff, sponsoring. Do not read if this is triggering.
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It was late when Ash got home from the studio, he had been conjoining lyrics to fathom a musical world that would encase him away from dark thoughts, or possibilities of mental torture.
A while back, he had began to attend meetings for his depression, it was no secret that in the past that he had suffered with a well known thing called depression, many people in the world had it.
It was a gripping sensation, one that reminded its victim that they were never good enough, and could never possibly be. The energy to do the simplest tasks was lacklustre, the tank was left near on empty.
That was where he had met his partner, at the meetings. He was inclined to spend more time together outside of your mandatory hours of attendance, simply because he wanted to. Ashton was smitten with you, and you happened to be his first potential love interest who understood his struggles.
So when he arrived home, the place blanketed in darkness and the living room left untouched, except from an empty packet of Doritos, he knew what kind of mood you were being affected by.
The curtains hadn’t even been opened since the prior day, and so he drew them, blinking hastily at the intruding light. It hurt his eyes, but what made him ache more was knowing that you were currently struggling, so he went towards your safe place; your room.
Although you had been the only person at home, the door was still closed, it was no surprise. It was a barricade of protection, closure from the rest of your life. Ash remembered as a teen and young adult, he would do the exact same thing. And so he pried it open by the handle, and found a lump of duvet wrapped around you.
It was even falling out of the cover, some of the poppers undone, but that was the least of your worries, especially when there were already so many. Ashton made slow footsteps, shutting the door behind himself, and switching the light on, causing you to burrow further into your personal nest.
“Hey honey, how are you feeling?” He already was aware of the answer, but he asked nevertheless. You needed to be enquired about your feelings to feel as though someone cared, so he took that mantle. It hit him add seeing you like this, he wanted nothing more than to join you in your amputated bubble, however it wasn’t healthy, and he always had to remind himself that it wasn’t for you either.
“Fine.” Was your mumbled response, your lips brushing against the pillow that your unwashed hair had been resting on a while back. “How was work?” It was a distraction, to enquire about his day in return, so that he wouldn’t pry any more at your physical or mental state.
“I missed you.” His rough fingertips gently brushed over your covered form, allowing you to know that he was right by you, and preparing to peel them away from you. “Mikey was telling me about this new restaurant, I think we should go out tonight, get some fresh air.”
“I’m busy, got work to finish, but maybe tomorrow.” He didn’t get mad at your excuses, mostly because he couldn’t. It wasn’t merely an excuse, you probably did have work, but were putting it off because of your present head space.
“Okay.” Ashton nodded, replying softly as his hands raked down the sheets, and revealed your tiresome and resting face. “You should have called me if you were feeling like this.” He reminded you, his hand tracing over your cheekbone so gently that the contact was barely there.
“I didn’t want to bother you.” You said honestly, a light frown finding it’s way onto your face. “You’re so busy, and your work is important, I can get through this by myself, I don’t have to drag you down with me.”
“Nothing is more important than you y/n.” He spoke seriously, meaning his every word. If it were necessary, such as an instance as this, he would drop everything in that moment, and rush home or wherever the hell you were.
It didn’t matter, it wasn’t only his duty as a boyfriend to be prepared for when you needed someone, but as your sponsor. The contract was mutual, but he was feeling slightly better, but your worriesome behaviour made him want to crash down all over again.
But he swore to himself that he couldn’t. He wasn’t the only person he needed to be strong for anymore, you depended on him, and despite you seeing that as a burden, he was more than happy to come at your beck and call.
“Don’t lie, please.” You whispered helplessly, pulling at the strings of Ashton’s heart. If you could, you’d rewind time to hours before, so that you could go back to staring at the ceiling, and Ash would be at the studio, hanging and relaxing and laughing with his boys.
“I’d never lie to you baby.” He contradicted and corrected you, slowly pulling you up to be seated against the headboard. It was a better position, considering the fact that you had probably been laying down all day and waiting for multiple reasons to force yourself up so you could go and pee.
You wanted to believe him so bad, but that voice in the back of your head began its mad barking, and threw every possibility of that out it’s back door. It was truly difficult to live with an invisible illness, not everybody understood.
At least Ashton did though, that was one true relief and blessing. But simultaneously it wasn’t, because that meant that he had endured such thought and self harm, and he was too beautiful to suffer like you were.
“I-”
“Let’s just go have a shower, yeah. And then we can put on something you haven’t watched before, get out of your comfort zone a little, and cuddle on the sofa, with a proper dinner instead of snacks.” He knew your every move, your every flaw, bu he loved them all the same.
There was nothing that he could do to permanently render the pain away, but sometimes he could temporarily distract you, and that was today’s plan. Tomorrow could be another story, you could dressed up to go out, and change your mind because of your nerves to call a cab home, because you thought the driver may judge you from their front seat, but that was okay.
It was mandatory that each day was taken a step at a time, it was still overwhelming nevertheless, but Ashton felt a wave of happiness cast over him as you reluctantly nodded your head, and despite not wanting to, slipped out of your bed.
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thedevillionaire · 3 years
Text
The Twentieth
Okay. ~5,000 words of Underworldian stuff that happens. Well, primarily one thing, really, but not all at the same time. Sort of. Ask me anything, thank you so very much for reading, and...well, here we go.
--- This was not at all how he’d planned for the day of their anniversary to unfold.
In the back of his mind, in corners he’d quite deliberately not lingered for a moment longer than absolutely necessary, he’d known that trouble was possibly oncoming as early as the night before last, the descending fog of nascent illness as recognisable as it was unwelcome. But it had been…at least a year, perhaps close to two, since he’d last felt this way, and he was hoping that he was wrong, and that what were seeming like potential signs of bad news weren’t actually signs at all.
They were.
Cerberus sniffled.
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. He’d tried, he really had. Discounting those signs as unimportant even as he took precautions because of them, he’d risked nothing, pushed his luck with nothing. He’d even gone to bed several hours earlier than usual last night, and fallen asleep almost immediately on top of that. Unlike his bonded, who’d had a late night and come home at some uncertain hour from one of those social catch-up things she so enjoyed that he was…less inclined towards, even in times when he was feeling entirely well – not that he’d given that as the reason for his disinclination to participate, of course.
Hardly relevant, anyway.
And he’d slept soundly enough that he’d not woken to notice her join him – in fact, he’d been so sapped of energy that from the moment the warmth of the hearth and bedcovers enveloped him, he was out – which just made it all the more ominous that he’d woken feeling like he’d got no rest at all, bone-tired as if no respite had been granted, with a constant, dull headache that so far had refused to resolve, and yesterday’s mild discomfort at the back of his throat sharpening significantly into an active and intrusive concern.
Getting caught in that ridiculous downpour on the way here wouldn’t have helped matters either, he thought bitterly. Although brief, it had been intense, and sudden, and heavy, and though the mercy of Teleport could not have been a more welcome escape, the short time spent in headblurry indecision about whether or not he should utilise it had nonetheless been long enough that his coat had been soaked through. The refuge of the radiant heat of his Office was helping somewhat, at least, and most of his clothing had dried by now – though his hair, which he’d tied back with a loose bow of slender black velvet ribbon to keep errant strands from his face, was still noticeably and uncomfortably damp against his neck. Less so than had he left it unbound, but still…
If he’d ever regretted choosing to walk rather than taking the lazy option before – gods, the damn irony of thinking that the walk would possibly benefit him tonight, of all things – he was sure he’d not regretted it as much as he did right now.
He sniffled again.
Fuck.
---
Closing the folder of Requiem’s surprisingly competently done assignment, he sighed and added it to the small stack of completed works, vaguely wondering if he’d been too generous with the grading. Although he knew the content backwards and could in fact get away with paying very little serious attention, his mind was nevertheless, for the most part, almost entirely on other things.
This was supposed to be the night where, once respective regular mundanities and commitments were out of the way, he would take his beloved to indulge in whichever of the things she most loved to indulge in while on a Visit, utterly at her behest, and completely guilt-free for her with no mandated set goal to achieve, no limitations on immersion, no regulations at all; just an unscheduled and spontaneous trip to the mortal plane, a high-end cocktail bar all dress codes and decadence, and a veritable array of delicious, oblivious Takings there for her pleasure – ahh, darkling, a smorgasbord! – all eyes upon her because nobody, not in the Underworld and certainly no mortal, can compare, and despite his usual personal antipathy towards bothering with the mortal realm, he knew of certain excellences all the same, and he’d put his own preferences aside and simply present her with the glories and spoils she deserved, watch her dance from the shadows and delight in it.
Darkling, I will give you the world.
He’d had every intention of doing precisely that.
And it was also really starting to feel like he was definitely not going to…not going to let this happen, damn it. You’ll be fine, stop putting unnecessary emphasis on transient discomfort, it’s nothing, you know these things pass, just…
He sniffled again, more sharply this time, claimed another tissue and blew his nose, trying to disregard how doing so did nothing much to stop the continuing drip and irritation.
Just get on with it. Honestly. Vaporising the tissue, he took another sip of the honeyed tea that wasn’t doing nearly as much to counteract the sting in his throat as he’d hoped it would, and returned his attention to the job at hand. He noted with distaste as he opened the new folder that yet again it seemed that Hellion hadn’t bothered to proofread the simplest of…
Oh gods.
His breath caught, thoughts ceased, focus helplessly crumbling.
“Hh-hh…”
He rolled his eyes at the inevitability of it, and grabbed another tissue, and another, as the insistent need made itself unstoppably and urgently known.
“Hh-TSCHH-uu! *snff!* Huh-TSSCHH-uu!”
Therion, across the room and in the midst of cataloguing a stupidly confusing array of recently rediscovered and yet unsorted secondgen scrolls, glanced back over his shoulder at Cerberus briefly. “Gesundheit,” he commented offhand, not remotely surprised by this development. Given the constant sniffling that had been going on for the last couple of hours or so, he’d pretty much been expecting that to happen sooner or later. No matter how infrequently the Demon king may catch cold, symptoms were symptoms. Sounding like shit there, boss, he thought, but decided against voicing it.
Cerberus managed a quick thankyou before the demanding urge once again overtook him, and he inhaled deeply, desperately, the force of the sneeze almost doubling him over.
“hhh-AHHTSSCHHUU!”
Therion glanced over again. “You okay, man?”
Cerberus, with a strong sniffle, cleared his throat and made an incidental sound of dismissal. “Mm, fine,” he murmured, which he knew at this point was a complete lie, his head pounding. “Pardon me.” He blew his nose, sniffling again immediately. Ugh. “It’s, um…it’s nothing.”
He returned his attention to Hellion’s paper.
It was, however, no matter his assurance, becoming undeniably something.
Fuck.
---
The hours had somehow simultaneously dragged and flown by, some goals achieved, others – and, to be honest, the ones he’d most been counting on – unfortunately not so.
Cerberus sighed heavily, put aside the last of the assignments he’d reviewed, and, having had quite enough of honeyed tea for one day, poured himself a substantial glass of cognac from the decanter on his desk.
On the plus side, he’d got through a decent amount of the papers, all things considered. On the minus, though, his oncoming cold, rather than resolving into the insignificance he’d hoped for, had instead settled in undeniably, pouring into his head like cement, and he pressed the back of his hand firmly against his nose with enough force for pain to overtake irritation. He vaporised yet another bunch of used tissues, sniffling again, and tried to take his mind off Kia and what she might be thinking, expecting, dreaming, anticipating…
..and what he feared he was not going be able to deliver.
Acceptance of such, however, was still not something he was willing to entertain quite yet.
Damn it, it’s one night. Surely you can at least delay this ridiculousness for one more night. With a lengthy, determined sniffle and heavy exhalation, Cerberus, elbow on desk and hand against forehead, lost himself in a mix of annoyance and self-pity for a moment before an intense rising fury at the situation overtook it, and he frowned, sat up straighter, and drained the glass of cognac entirely.
Do. Better.
With a brief shake of his head, he rubbed his nose and opened the next assignment in the pile, read the name. Ah, Cenotaph, he noted with a slight satisfaction. Shouldn’t be dreadful. Although he nearly always…
His thoughts were jarringly interrupted by the intrusive ring of the telephone, and despite him dearly wishing he could palm this off to Therion, the phone was on the desk, and proximity demanded he be the one to answer. And to make matters worse – apparently that’s possible, and of course it is – he could feel the rising, inexorable need to sneeze again.
No. This is not happening. Just… The idea of being defeated by such a simple, base physical weakness infuriating, he sniffled with sharp determination, crushing a hand clutching a tissue against his nose, and answered the call.
“Demonics.”
Aera took a moment. “Cerbie? Okay, wow. What are you doing in Office?”
I…work here? Cerberus couldn’t quite parse what her intention was, what sort of answer she was expecting. Was that rhetorical, or…? “I don’t… What do you…” He sniffled again, his breath catching momentarily, but he fought the urge back once more, and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand. “What?”
“‘Debodics’,” Aera said in mimicry of the congestion destroying his consonants, her tone flippant and biting at the same time.
Frowning in annoyance, his patience worn thin enough as it was, and in no mood to engage, Cerberus snarled a curt, “I’m fine,” and wiped his nose.
Aera scoffed. “You’re seriously going the denial route? Hate to break it to you, but you sure don’t sound fine.”
“Do you have a point?” Cerberus asked tersely, internally cursing his inability to comprehensively prove her wrong – not that she was necessarily wrong, but that was hardly the issue.
“Godssake, Cerbie, you’re such a…” Aera began, but recognised she was probably wasting her time and decided to just let it go. She knew his pattern with this sort of thing, and so she backed off a little – though by no means completely. “Okay, fine, alright, I could be wrong, maybe you’re not sick after all. So, you know, if you’ve been crying or punched in the face or something, go right ahead and clear that up for me.”
Cerberus, exasperated and increasingly distracted, just wanted an end to it all. “Damn it, Aera, can you please try to tear yourself away from the apparently fascinating state of my health for a moment and just tell me what the hell it is you want? *snf!* And you could be a bit more pleasant to me, you know,” he added pointedly. “It is my anniversary, after all.”
Aera gasped lightly in realisation, the date having escaped her notice completely. “Oh, shit, it is too! Ah, fuck, sorry, happy anniversary. But, no, anyway, this call does actually have a point. I think I might have left a scarf in your Office yesterday. Do you have it? It’s blue.”
You couldn’t have just asked that immediately? Cerberus glanced around the Office perfunctorily, not seeing anything of the kind. “N…” His breath caught again and he scrubbed his hand roughly under his nose, sniffling sharply, and took a moment before trusting himself enough to answer her. “No.”
“Really? What the hell have I done with it, then?” Aera wondered, partially to Cerberus but mostly to herself, before returning her attention to the conversation at hand. “Oh, and bless you.”
“What?” Cerberus frowned in confusion, his head clouded enough that he wasn’t entirely certain that he hadn’t missed or forgotten something that surely he ought not to have been able to miss or forget. “I…I didn’t sneeze.” It was…inescapably true that he needed to, but he’d not…
Aera chuckled briefly, quietly. “You will.”
She hung up.
The freedom afforded him by that disconnection, one staggered, desperate inhale was all it took. And in the moment, he didn’t even care that she’d been right. At this point he just wanted relief.
“hh-HH… Ahh-HEHTSSHhuu!”
“Gesundheit,” said Therion again, smiling grimly to himself. He usually minded his own business about this sort of thing – not that it came up much – and indeed still considered staying out of it altogether now. But he hadn’t known about the anniversary factor before, and playing substitute Leader for a few days was hardly the worst fate in the world, and if not tonight it was almost certainly going to come to that fate soon enough anyway, so…
He put the scrolls aside, walking over to stand opposite where Cerberus was seated at the desk. “Hey, man…”
“Huh-AHSSCHuu! *snf!*” Cerberus groaned. “Gods. Excuse me,” he murmured with a heavy sigh, his head and sinuses throbbing. He sniffled wetly, blew his nose, excused himself again, and looked up at Therion somewhat hazily. “Mm?”
Therion half-smiled, casual, non-committal. “Happy anniversary, dude. Didn’t mean to listen in or anything, just…you know. Overheard.”
A small smile of appreciative thanks crossing his face, Cerberus sniffled again and nodded in otherwise silent acknowledgement.
“Just a thought, though,” Therion continued. “If I had a choice between going home to my mad-hot bonded… How many years now, man?”
A heartbeat. An eternity.
“Twenty.”
“Fucking what?!” Therion stared at Cerberus as if he was out of his mind. “Fuck, man! Congrats and shit, but for real? If I had a choice between going home, like, immediately or staying in Office for a few more hours marking shit I could pretty easily get my Understudy to do, actually? I’d be out of here in a fucking microsecond. But, you know, you’re the boss, man. Do whatever. Just saying.” Reaching across the desk, he picked up Cenotaph’s paper and scanned its contents quickly. “I mean, this looks pretty good, I guess, but, you know, Kia probably looks better.” He grinned as Cerberus gave a dark smile in response, and paused only for a short time, but enough that the pause be noted. “Seriously. You know she’d spoil the fuck out of you.”
Cerberus sighed again, regret, bitterness and castigating self-reproach evident in his eyes beneath a haze of sickness he really could no longer deny. Yes, I know, of course I know, but... “The spoiling really was suppo… hh-HH…” He hastily took another few tissues from the box, burying his face in them just in time to catch another fierce sneeze he had no chance of stopping. “AHHTSCHUU! Goddamnit. Pardon me.” He wiped his nose, sniffling again immediately – disturbingly liquid, entirely ineffectual, and with a weariness behind it that he could not disguise. Looking back up at Therion, he returned to his point. “I’d really intended the providing of spoils to be my job tonight. And this…utter ridiculousness—” He made a vague gesture towards his face. “—was supposed to have improved, not worsened, damn it.”
With another heavy sigh, disappointment palpable, he capitulated. “I don’t suppose you keep any cold medication in Office, do you?”
“Sorry.” Therion shook his head. “Go the fuck home, man. I got this.”
Standing, Cerberus nodded briefly in reply, giving Therion a firm pat on the shoulder as he passed by. “Thank you,” he said quietly, and vanished.
---
And naturally half the damn Underworld seems to be here.
Well, he most certainly was not going to queue.
Ignoring the mixture of hushed mutterings and soft gasps from the others in the Healing centre – none of whom he recognised but it was evident from the expressions on the faces of the…many people staring at him that the reverse was not the case – Cerberus walked to the front of the line with only the most cursory of glances at those who he had no intention of waiting either for or behind, greeted Riviera at the front desk perfunctorily and, abruptly beyond caring to hear any more of the continuing intrusive sussurance, froze the entirety of the waiting room’s occupants under Stasis with a crisp wave of his hand.
Dear gods, shut up. I will set you all on fire and I won’t regret it for a second.
He sniffled strongly. “Aldiss, please,” he said to Riviera, who had already Mindsent the Healing Leader in anticipation of precisely that directive.
“On her way,” Riviera replied. She indicated the Stasis-held others. “Um, is that…are they…?”
“Entirely temporary, just expedient. I’ll undo it soon enough.”
Aldiss appeared beside Riviera at the desk, Mindsending her :Cover me for a bit. Room 5, burns, not serious, mostly dealt with already,: and Riviera duly vanished.
At a loss and clearly awaiting clarification, Aldiss turned her attention to Cerberus. “Alright, what are you doing here?”
Cerberus frowned. Why is everywhere I am apparently a surprise tonight? “I’m ill, obviously. Why else would I be here? I need cold medication.” He sniffled again, as if in emphasis, though not intentionally so, and wiped his nose.
“Again? Already?”
Again? There IS no again. I literally just got here. What the hell is going on? Cerberus briefly wondered if he could be hallucinating this entire sequence of events, so little of it seemed to make any coherent sense. “What do you mean ‘already’?” He winced as his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, which did little more than cause him a different kind of discomfort, a convulsive cough following in short order, his nose running again as a result. He sniffled sharply, repeatedly. Gods. For fuck’s sake. “Excuse me.”
“I’m not giving you anything more if you’ve taken the other lot already.”
“Damn it, Aldiss, do I sound like I’ve taken anything?!”
Aldiss did have to concede that point.
Thoroughly exasperated, Cerberus exhaled heavily in annoyance. “Why is everything always such an ordeal in this place?” And suddenly another strangeness occurred to him. “Wait – what other lot?
“The meds Kia picked up, obviously.”
“What?!” Cerberus, a fresh fear striking him – one he was entirely unprepared for, one that actually managed to distract him from his own discomforts for a moment – stared at Aldiss in unconcealed horror. “Kia’s unwell?!”
With a wry smile, Aldiss shook her head. “I swear I never personally get to experience it, but rumour has it you’re actually quite a clever man, Cerberus, so try and stay with me here, alright?” She looked at him with a certain sardonic encouragement. “The meds Kia picked up for you.”
Unfortunately, this didn’t make much more sense to him, if at all. “But what reason would…” He sniffled again. “Why would she do that?” He rubbed and wrinkled his nose against a building itch, took a tissue from the box on the desk, then another, and tried to stay focused.
Aldiss, in mildly amused bafflement that he could actually be this oblivious, stared at the Demon king as if he was a complete imbecile. “Because you’ve got a cold?”
Annoyance clearly evident despite the hitch in his breath, Cerberus frowned at her. “Yes, Aldiss, we’ve established that, but Ki…Kia doesn’t…” Ah, fuck. Bringing the tissues to his face as the itch became sharply definite, he turned away hurriedly. “Huh-ATSSCHH-uu!” He groaned, sniffling immediately, the force of the sneeze bringing to the fore anew the pulsing headache he’d almost, almostbeen able to forget, his breath still a little shaky as he excused himself. He claimed another tissue and wiped his nose, sniffling again, and took a moment before returning to his earlier point. “Kia doesn’t know about *snf!* this yet.”
“Yes, she most certainly does,” Aldiss countered. “What, you didn’t think she’d notice?”
“Well, of course she’d notice now, damn it, Aldiss,” said Cerberus in open irritation, “but I wasn’t nearly this…”
“Oh, for god’s sake, Cerberus. How long have you been together?”
“As it happens, it’s our twentieth anniversary tonight,” Cerberus replied, a bitter and rueful undertone unmissable despite increasing congestion, “which I am attempting not to completely ruin.” Another sharp sniffle. “Apparently a futile pursuit,” he muttered resentfully, and pressed the back of his hand against his nose in an attempt to see off a newly threatening, vibrantly insistent itch.
“Twenty years and you think she’d miss a thing? She knows you. She knows you really well. How do you not…”
“Ahh-HEHTSSHhuu!”
Aldiss sighed as Cerberus, thoroughly losing the battle, sneezed again, wetly and powerfully, and she passed him a handful of tissues as he murmured both an apology and a thankyou. Looking out at the significant number of people yet to be seen, she allowed him some necessary moments of recovery, then made her point. “Listen, I’m sorry you’ve managed to catch cold for your anniversary but you do have both medication and a devoted bonded waiting at home. Please go there. Kia’s probably wondering where the hell you are anyway, since – if I can I remind you – she knows you’re sick. Oh, and you can undo your…stopping people in time thing or whatever it is now, too, thank you very much.”
“As always, Aldiss, it’s been a delight.” Releasing his Stasis hold with a short wave, the murmurs and mutterings picking up precisely where they’d been cut off as if there had never been a break, Cerberus turned his gaze briefly upon his unbidden rapt audience, disregarded them all equally, internally cursed himself for having even bothered to come to this ridiculous place, inclined his head in crisp farewell, and promptly vanished.
---
Leaning back against the loungeroom wall in weary resignation upon his Teleported arrival home, Cerberus stopped still, his attentions resolutely redirected in an instant at the entirely unexpected sight of his beautiful lifebonded reclining languorously across the couch, dressed – or almost dressed, it could technically be said – in diaphanous babydoll chemise and finest lace lingerie, soft brunette darkestness falling silkenwild around her shoulders, a vision of breathtaking boudoir fantasy he was quite thoroughly unprepared for, and he paused for a moment to simply gaze at her, enchanted.
:Darkling, you are perfection.:
Kia looked up slowly, and with a sultry, indulgent smile, dropped her book onto the coffee table and stretched before sitting up just a little, beckoning him to join her with crooked finger and open invitation.
“Took your time, sweetheart,” she said, gently teasing, and opened the bottle of cognac, pouring a glass for them both. “I’d almost decided to start without you.”
“Love, I…” Cerberus began but was torn from his words unstoppably, unable to do anything about the sudden, desperate need overtaking him, and, expression crumpling and focus destroyed, he had no choice but to give in to it. “Huh-TSCHH-uu! Ah-HEHTSCHuu!” He pardoned himself with haste, groaning quietly.
“Aw, bless you, hon. Come here.” Kia repeated her beckoning motion. She regarded him a moment, frowning in puzzlement. “Where’s your coat?” She’d not seen him leave the house this morning, but she was entirely certain he’d have worn one.
“Hmm? Oh, um…” Cerberus sniffled, wiped his nose and glanced down at himself, not having given any particular thought to his outfit – his standard fine linen shirt, brocade waistcoat, tailored black pants – since leaving Office.
Which was, of course, where he’d left his coat.
“Got rained on. Earlier, that is, not… A while ago, anyhow.” He sniffled again and tried to focus. “In Office. The coat, I mean, not where the…rain was.” He sighed in exasperation as anger at the situation overtook tiredness again. “Honestly, it would be nice if I could at least form a damn sentence!” Gods, what the hell is wrong with you. Get your damn shit together. “Sorry, love. I, um…used Teleport after that, though, so I’ve not really been outside since.”
“Well, coat or not, you were supposed to have given up and come home ages ago.” Kia laughed gently. “You know, like a normal person. Why are you always so stubborn about this stuff?” She caressed his face affectionately as he sat beside her, curled an arm around the back of his neck, and kissed him with warm promise. :And don’t you even dare say a word about not wanting to give your cold to me,: she Mindsent preemptively. :Yes, I know, no, I don’t care, and there is no way I’m not kissing you on our twentieth anniversary.:
“Anyway,” she continued in satin murmur, tracing a finger along the angular contours of his jawline and kissing him again, “you know I’ll spoil you.” She looked at him directly then, sapphire eyes narrowing in challenge. “You do know that, right?”
“I…” He did, but between the desire not to need her to – at least not tonight – and rather for him to be, as he’d so very much intended, the one fulfilling any fantasies, and the desire to just try and forget failed plans and expectations and immerse in her…frankly stunning sanctuary, and his head was far too clouded to explain himself right now, and technically he had left Office early anyway so he wasn’t that late really, especially considering he hadn’t realised that he’d been expected, but what did any of this even matter when this goddess before him was so…very… He sniffled again, claiming a tissue and wiping his nose firmly, and wished he was at least a little more functional because she was so incredibly breathtaking, and that was all he could think about in the moment, really, aside from feeling like he was fairly sure he was going to sneeze again – which, when combined with the first and…infinitely preferable reason that he couldn’t think straight, provided a particularly strange contradiction in where his attentions were directed, and now he couldn’t with certainty remember exactly what she’d asked him anymore, and she was just…gods, she was everything, and his head was a mess and he…definitely had to…
He blinked rapidly, his breath hitching in escalating intensity, and turned from Kia to bury his face in crooked elbow. Gods, fuck, just…
“Huh-TSSCHH-uu! Ahh-HUHTSSHhuu!”
The force of the sneezes combined with the pounding throb of sinus-heavy headache to set the room spinning, but despite that had done very little to quiet the insistent irritation he just could not seem to escape tonight. Another staccato breath and fuck ano… hh-HH ..another and a Mindsent apology because he was entirely unable to voice one, doubling over in thrall to desperate demand, powerful, possessing. “Hhuh-AHTSCHUU! Huh…hh-TSSCHH-uu!”
“Oh, sweetheart, bless you.” Kia indicated the medications she’d collected on the table, though she wasn’t sure there was much point, his ability to focus entirely and…mesmerisingly hijacked. “You should probably…”
Cerberus, with a brief shake of his head, held up a finger in a gesture indicating that she had to wait a moment, the relentless need not done with him yet, and he inhaled deeply, unable to do a thing about it other than succumb once more, and he sneezed again – undeniable, absolute, violently ferocious. “Hh-hhAAAHTSSCHHUU! ..uhh…” A quiet groan and he pressed the back of his hand against his nose, sniffling fiercely, more than a little breathless. “Damn. Sorry.”
“Wow, bless you!” Kia said with softriveted, emphatic appraisal, and flashed him a wickedwarm grin. “Impressive. You should get a prize for that kind of effort.”
“Gods, love.” Smiling wryly despite himself, Cerberus managed a brief disbelieving laugh before having no choice but to give in to sharpburning sensation, his breath catching abrupt, deep, jagged, pleading. “hh-h-huh-TSCHH-uu! Huh-TSSCHH-uu! *snf!* Huh… huhhTSSCHHUU! For fuck’s sake! *SNFF!* Ugh, sorry.” Sniffling repeatedly, he excused himself again with clear irritation even as Kia offered him a tender blessing. He took a fresh multitude of tissues from the box and blew his nose, muttering under his breath that in any reasonable world he’d get to kill at least one person over this, and if…
“Oh, look!” announced Kia with cheery brightness, breaking into his thoughts and picking up one of the medication vials. “You win drugs.” She handed the vial to Cerberus with a kiss to his cheek, effectively short-circuiting his rising fury at the situation, and trailed a languid hand down the length of his arm, dropped her voice to a sultry purr. “I’ll even throw in the glamorous assistant.” She semi-curtseyed, winked in play.
With a soft laugh and a sigh both appreciative and self-effacing, Cerberus accepted and took the meds as proffered, curling an arm across Kia’s shoulders, drawing them closer together, and leant his head against hers, Mindsending a heartfelt, sincere :I adore you.:
“I’m so sorry, darkling.” He ran an index finger under his nose, sniffled quietly, exhaled with dismayed heaviness at the thought of having let his beloved down, in any way. “I really did mean to give you everything you desire tonight.” He sat back again; smiled at her, a little sadly. “And I truly do wish to bring you the world you deserve. All the worlds, come to that.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know. And I know that you’re, like…literally able to do it, which still just amazes me and will forever, I swear, you’re incredible, but…really, you don’t need to be disappointed. See, I want you—” Shifting her position smoothly, Kia moved to sit on his lap, her legs astride his, and caressed his face in her hands, kissing him with passion burning. “Mmm. I want you—” Another kiss. “—to think for just a minute—” And another. “—from a different view.” Reaching behind his head, she untied the velvet ribbon constraining his hair, allowing it in release to cascade over his shoulders. She wove a gentle hand through freed midnight, tucked a few stray strands behind his ear. “If things were reversed, if I was the one who’d come home sick tonight, what would you have done?”
Cerberus chuckled wryly, softly, as he recognised her viewpoint. He didn’t pretend otherwise. “Anything you wanted, love, as always.”
Kia gave him a knowing smile. “Mm-hm.”
Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him again, slower, deeper. “So, then, babe,” she purred, tracing a trail of kisses down his neck, shoulders, chest, “you should know that you are everything I desire, everything I dream of, and the only way you could ever let me down is to not be with me tonight, and now I am going to order you into the bedroom and you are going to do exactly what I say and that is pretty much what would have happened even with you in perfect health with your perfect plan, because you should know—” She broke off again, kissing him with a craving undeniable, abandoning speech for silksultry Mindsend.
:that all I want:
One hand now twining through his hair, the other first toying with then smoothly untying the topmost bows on her chemise, allowing it to fall away, and she pulled him closer to her again, deepening the kiss at his involuntary resulting moan.
:is…this.:
Another kiss and her hand reaching down, loosening clothing and caressing him to urgency, and he moaned again, curling one arm around her waist and another behind her head, holding her around him and returning her kiss with a fire straight from his soul, feeling her breath quickening, demanding, as she pushed back against him, heat rising. A soft growl, a gasp, a sharp inhalation as they joined together, and she met her beloved’s famed emerald gaze eye to eye, consummate, profligate, incendiary.
“Oh, and sweetheart? Tonight I am going to make you wish you caught cold more often.”
---
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be11atrixthestrange · 3 years
Text
According To The Stars
Be11a writes Jily Fluff! Read here or on AO3
*******
According To The Stars
While working on Divination homework, James learns something new about Lily. Good thing Divination is a load of rubbish... or is it?
*******
James wasn't sure if he believed in Divination, or if it was just a load of rubbish. Honestly, one of the only reasons he was still taking the subject was the company — it was on Lily Evans' sixth-year timetable, and therefore his.
His friends had dropped the subject, and they made sure to take the mickey out of him when he signed back up.
"Divination, really James?"
"Why take that when you could have a free period?"
"Is it the subject matter that fascinates you, or is it a certain redhead?"
The questions were rhetorical, and his friends knew that. They were perfectly aware of James' motivation for sticking around in Divination, and they knew that he preferred they weren't there. Not many students continued beyond their O.W.L. year in the subject, and James was happy that Lily was the only other student he knew well. He could assure they would always be partnered up for projects, and he didn't have to worry about anyone swooping in and stealing her attention from him. Not Remus, Sirius, Peter, or worst of all, Snivellus.
James was procrastinating on his Divination essay in the Gryffindor common room when Lily approached him.
"Have you started?" she asked.
"Not yet, I was waiting for you. I was hoping you could help."
"You're smart, you'll figure it out," she said as she took a seat at the table beside him. "It's just a birth chart, anyway."
Just a birth chart. The problem wasn't that James thought birth charts were difficult to understand; it was that he hated the idea of them. The fact that the date, location, and time of his birth supposedly determined his fate really bothered him.
Earlier in class, they had mapped out their star signs, and their homework was to analyze them. He had been feeling a pit of dread all day, simply because he'd have to dive into all of the details of his future. He truly didn't want to know what the stars had to say about his life. In James' opinion, there was no point in knowing how or when he might die, who his future wife would be, how many kids he would have, or what he would do for an occupation. It sucked all of the excitement right out of life and stripped him of his autonomy. He wanted to believe that his choices mattered.
He knew he should take it all with a grain of salt because humans could never fully understand the truth of the stars. Predictions were wrong all the time, and there were always going to be flaws in human methods of telling the future.
But the mere idea that James' future was set in stone made him deeply uncomfortable. Like his friends, he could simply choose not to believe in any of it, but the problem was that he sort of did.
He looked over to see that Lily had already started her essay and was scribbling furiously on her parchment. Reluctantly, he turned back to his own star chart and began writing too.
My name is James Potter, and I was born at 5:45 pm on Sunday, March 27th, 1960, in London, England.
This makes my Sun Sign Aries, my Moon Sign Aries, and my Ascendant Libra.
Sun Sign: Aries
The sun determines our ego, identity, and 'role' in life. It's the core of who we are. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Sun was in Aries.
I am fundamentally assertive, persistent, and courageous. Naturally competitive and fiercely independent, I push things forward with energy and enthusiasm. I am determined, and I persevere through anything.
James thought back to his time on the Quidditch Pitch, where he would do anything for a victory. He was a risk-taker with a deep desire to win, and that had landed him in the Hospital Wing more times than he'd care to admit. He was definitely independent — although he played Chaser on the Gryffindor team, he much preferred the solitary aspect of Seeker; when playing Chaser, his fellow teammates often badgered him for being a "Quaffle-Hog".
I need to learn to understand other people as complex wholes.
The analysis felt spot-on for James. People were like puzzles, and he enjoyed figuring them out. All-day, James had been riddled with curiosity about Lily's birth chart. He was planning to ask her about it tonight and was excited to get to know her on a deeper level.
I feel the need to distinguish myself from others.
James felt exposed by that one. He was a prankster; he enjoyed his popularity, and he often engaged in what others — mainly professors — would call "attention-seeking behavior." Touche, birth chart, he thought, as he carried on writing.
Moon Sign: Aries
The moon rules our emotions, moods, and feelings, reflecting our personalities when we're alone and comfortable. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Moon was in Aries.
My emotional self is independent, energetic, and enthusiastic. I have a tendency to feel inadequate and overcompensate just because failure is a possibility.
That one hurt a bit. James immediately felt defensive as he wrote it, but deep down, he knew it was true. As the only son of a well-known and successful family, failure was not an option. He was no stranger to pressure, and sometimes he overcompensated. He was a smart kid, but he often relied on his charm to build connections and network. He knew his smooth-talking could drive some people — mostly Lily — insane, but it was nothing more than a defense mechanism because he truly was terrified of failure.
I find security and safety through close relationships and long-term partnerships.
James held his friends close, and had no idea what he would do without them. He believed they would all be there for him for the rest of his life, and he couldn't entertain the idea that they might not. He would risk his life to protect his friends, and they'd do the same for him. According to his analysis, whether or not his overwhelming trust in others was a strength or a weakness was open to interpretation, and James chose to see it as a good thing. What was the point of life without friends, anyway? He smiled warmly at the thought and continued.
Ascendant: Libra
Our Ascendant is the "mask" we present to people. It can be seen in our personal style and our first impressions. Some say its relevance fades as we age. Our Ascendant is determined by our time of birth — I was born at 5:45 pm, meaning my Ascendant is Libra.
I come across as compromising, courteous, and impartial, though sometimes passive-aggressive.
For most people, he was a compromising and courteous individual, at least for people he liked. Unfortunately, passive-aggressive was a no-brainer as well. Some folks — particularly Snivellus — might say he was a bully. In detention, he'd received lectures about how pranking and cursing others was not the proper way to alleviate interpersonal issues. McGonagall never hesitated to tell him that a calm and rational discussion would be much more effective than a Levicorpus Charm. Admittedly, his methods could be considered passive-aggressive.
I am inclined towards balance.
James was a well-rounded fellow, that was for sure. He was an academic, an athlete, and he maintained a social life quite effortlessly. Balance truly was important to him. There was just one part missing from his ideal balance — a relationship. More specifically, a relationship with Lily.
In fact, that missing piece was one of the first things he looked for when he began his birth chart analysis. On a separate piece of parchment, he had scribbled down a few signs — Aquarius, Sagittarius, Leo, and Gemini. According to the stars, his ideal life partner's Sun, Moon, and Ascendant signs should fall into these categories. Part of him didn't want to know what Lily's chart said, and the rest of him needed to. It could all be rubbish, but maybe it wasn't.
"What are your signs, Lily?"
"Why do you want to know?" she asked.
"Research," he said.
"You want to know my fate?"
"You could say that," he responded. It was partially true — he wanted to know what the stars said about her life, but specifically her compatibility with him.
Lily sighed. "My Sun Sign is Aquarius."
James' stomach fluttered with excitement. Aquarius was one of his most compatible signs, so that was a good start. "And your Moon Sign?"
"Pisces."
He tried not to let the disappointment show on his face. Nowhere on his chart did it say he should look for someone with a Pisces Moon Sign. "What about your Ascendant?"
James froze in anticipation, hoping for Lily to say one of the four options. Two of three compatible signs would make them a decent match.
"Virgo."
His stomach sank. One out of three matching signs wasn't ideal. Sure, it could work, but it meant that Lily wouldn't be his perfect partner. If he were to believe the stars, there was someone else out there that was better suited to him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that to be true.
"Are you okay?" asked Lily.
James tried his best to smile and mask his fallen expression. He was okay; he just really wished Lily's astrological signs were fully compatible with his, but he didn't feel like he could tell her that. At least not straight-up.
"Do you believe in all of this?" he asked instead.
"Divination?"
"Yeah, but more specifically, this birth chart stuff. Do you believe that this should determine your future? Your personality, your jobs, and who you should be with?"
"Who I should be with?" she asked, her eyes moving to his parchment. She was squinting, and James wondered if she was trying to read his chart. "What are your signs?"
He hesitated before answering. What if she really did believe in all of it, and learning how lukewarm their compatibility was just turned her away? He knew he couldn't get away without telling her, so he took a deep breath and responded. "Aries, Aries, Libra."
Lily didn't say anything at first, and the pit grew in James' stomach the longer she was quiet.
"Lily?" he asked after she'd been silent for a few seconds too long for comfort. "What do you believe?"
"Honestly?" she said. "I believe it's a load of rubbish. At least I hope it is. What about you?"
He felt a wave of relief at her words. "Good. I think it's rubbish too, and I hope we're right."
She smiled at him, and he grinned back, the heat rising to his cheeks. They turned to their essays and began writing again. There was a little bounce in their quills, a mark of the excitement between two teenagers who just — sort of — admitted something big.
James felt better knowing that whatever his birth chart said about his future, his choices did matter. Sure, the stars might have a plan for him, but if they didn't involve the cute Aquarius beside him, he'd happily choose not to believe any of it.
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buckys-black-dress · 3 years
Text
a fine line, part two
a/n: here she is, our promised part two of afl!!! honestly i love writing this series and it has almost all my fav things in one fic, so yup. anyways, again, thank you for reading/sharing/liking my work !! luv u all, x -ali
wc: 5.8k !!!
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-
The tension in the room was palpable.
And although no one knew you two were working together by verbal confirmation, it was clear from the way you were both reacting.
Bucky was rarely this quiet, so it was obvious what was going on.
Also the fact that you seemed frozen in place.
“Y/N? Everything okay?” Wanda’s soft voice filtered in next to you.
You nodded, trying to break away from James’ gaze.
“Mhm, who’re you working with?” You ask, moving away from the topic at hand.
“Oh, you know Professor Vision? He teaches Comp Sci.” Wanda is now visibly blushing, making you curious.
“Ooh, does Wanda have a crush?” Natasha chimes in as she sidles up next to you two. “I got Banner. How about you, Y/N?”
“I uhh, I got... Barnes.” You mumble under your breath.
“Who? I didn’t catch what you said there.” Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I... I got Dr. Barnes.” You said, not even daring to look up at your friends.
“...Oh. Well, that should be... interesting...” Wanda comments.
“...Yeah. It’ll probably be fine!” Natasha tries to comfort you, but there’s a stirring feeling in your stomach that almost makes you feel sick.
“He said there was no way to change it... right?” You ask feebly, trying to hold out hope.
“No... and I wouldn’t want to go head to head with Fury.” Wanda frowns.
“Great.” You conclude, taking a deep breath. “You know what, I can do this. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” You tell the girls, gathering your things and filing out of the office as people began to leave.
Wanda and Natasha were left watching your retreating form, staring at each other.
“I’ll be surprised if they make it to the end of next week.” Natasha says, earning a shove in her arm from Wanda.
Bucky watched you leave the office, and the gears were most definitely turning in his head.
-
You spent the rest of the week keeping mostly to yourself, trying to mentally prepare for what you’d have to face next week.
In the email sent out by Fury, he explained that you and your partner should have a lesson outlined prior to Monday so you could get right into teaching. He also explained that you would have to share all of your classes, and somehow correlate the two subjects that each professor taught.
English and History, seems easy, right?
Wrong.
Every idea you’ve emailed James has been shot down, and your patience was wearing thin. You didn’t like being unprepared, and the week would be coming to a close soon.
So naturally, you did what anyone else would do, and knocked on James’ office door until he answered.
“I’m comin’ jeez, would ya hold on?” You hear his voice, muffled by the door, until he swings it open, coming face to face with you. “What do you need, Y/L/N?”
“Oh, lovely to see you too, Dr. Barnes. I just wanted to know if you were actually interested in making our lesson plan. If we’re going to be spending the next few weeks together, we might as well have a plan. And I thought your input might be better, since you’re clearly not a fan of what I’ve shown you so far.” You rambled, moving to stand in the middle of his office, laptop in hand.
“You know, maybe if you sent anything good, I would’ve worked with ya on it. But I just don’t think your style of teaching fits me. It’s too... too intimate. You’re too far up your students’ asses. You get too close, too personal with them.” James explains to you.
You can only scoff at this.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, James, but my students and I have great relationships. If my students don’t like me, or what I teach, they’ll be more inclined to hand in subpar work. But if I make my expectations clear from the start, they’ll know what they have to do to earn an A in my class. That’s why my first two semesters here have been averaging with A’s all across the board.” You explain as simply as you can, because you felt like James was ridiculing you and the way you teach. You worked hard to get where you are today, and you know that’s why your students love coming to class.
Bucky stared at you for a few seconds, trying to process the information you dropped on him.
“So... your students... like you?” He asks, tentatively, almost.
“...Yes? I know you don’t like me, so it might hard to believe that others do, but I don’t think I’m that unappealing.” You scoff, looking at the floor to avoid Bucky’s eyes. “Anyways, do you have any ideas?”
Bucky’s chest tightened with guilt. After the incident at the bar, he was trying to not be as rude to you. He was trying to be more humane, in Steve’s words.
“I... Maybe we can take a look at some of the stuff you sent before. Maybe if you explain it to me face-to-face I’ll understand it better.” Bucky says, and you nod. “Take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.”
As a few hours passed, you and James actually started a pretty solid outline for lessons. You started working on your first lesson, which would be the origins of literature. You could both talk about it, and you could both bring different aspects to the table.
“On average, how many kids do you have in your classes, Y/N?” James asks you, and your head snaps up at the mention of your first name. You had a moment where you imagine him calling you that way more often, making your throat run dry.
“Uhm,” you cleared your throat, “my biggest class is about thirty students, maximum.” You tell him.
“Really? My smallest is forty...” He tells you, scratching his chin. “Also very male dominated, I’ve noticed.”
You freeze, trying to process this. It’s only ten more kids... you’ll be fine, right?
“You alright, there, Y/L/N?” James chuckles, to which you let out a weak one. You weren’t used to large crowds, they made you anxious, nervous, like you were losing your footing.
“I-I’m fine. Yeah, all good, let’s get back to work.” You tell him, focusing back on your lesson plan.
“It’s uh, getting a bit late. Thinking we should head home soon.” James looks at you a bit longer, trying to gauge your mood.
“Uh- oh, what time is it?” You ask, squinting and cursing yourself for leaving your glasses in your office.
“It’s almost 7:30...” He tells you.
“Oh, I have to go! Lucy, she’s been all alone, I have to feed her!” In a panic, you begin gathering your belongings.
“Lu- Who’s Lucy?” James asks in clear confusion at your sudden panic.
“My cat! Oh, poor baby, she’s probably wondering where I’ve been...” You trail off, making sure you’ve gathered everything you need.
“W-wait, can I get your number?” James asks, and you both freeze.
“M-my number?” You ask, not bothering to hide your shock.
“Well, we’re gonna need to discuss the lesson plan somehow...” He tells you.
“Oh... well, here...” You pull off a post-it note from the pad on his desk and quickly scribble down your number, handing it to him. “I’m not usually on my phone too much, so if I don’t answer within a few hours, try shooting me an email.” You explain, making your way out the door.
“Have a good night, James.” He hears you say quietly before you turn away from the doorframe, and he hears the resonating shutting of your office door not even five minutes later.
Bucky sits in his chair, not having moved an inch from when you left. He stares at the blue post-it with your number scribbled on it.
He picked it up, inspecting it further.
Your handwriting was neat, but flourishing and borderline cursive because of how quickly you wrote.
Bucky pulls out his phone and inputs the number, saving your contact.
Y/N Y/L/N
He then types out a message:
Just wanted to text you so I wouldn’t lose your number. Hope Lucy is okay.
And he hits send, deciding to pack up his things, trying to understand why he chose to include your cat in his message.
And on your end when you check your phone after parking in your apartment building’s parking, you see a message from an unknown number. You choose to not answer until you’ve made it into your apartment and feed Lucy.
You open your messages, staring at it. Something in your chest fluttered, but you pass it off as your hunger, waiting for your dinner to warm up in the oven.
Hi James. Lucy is fine, thanks for worrying. Have a good night.
You send it off, saving his contact but choosing to not look at your phone until after you’ve finished everything that you needed to do.
After finishing some grading, doing the dishes, and adding to the lesson plan, you decide to settle into bed with a book. You check your phone while brushing your teeth.
James Barnes: Good to hear. Do you think we could work on the lesson plan over lunch tomorrow? Just so we can get ahead of the game.
Y/N Y/L/N: Sounds good. Are we still going to also meet up after classes?
It takes a few minutes before your phone dings again.
James Barnes: Yep. Do you want to just come by my place after? Kind of getting stir-crazy in my office. We could also order food.
You stare at your phone. Are you going crazy? Why is he being so... kind?
Before you could even respond, another ping pulls you back out of your thoughts.
James Barnes: You could also bring Lucy with you, if you don’t want to leave her alone at home for too long.
Okay, now you were sure you were going insane. He was being way too nice. Where was this attitude a year ago, when you’d first met him?
But then again, it wouldn’t hurt, right? You were trying to get out of your comfort zone...
Y/N Y/L/N: Sure, that’s good. Are you sure it would be okay if I brought Lucy? I wouldn’t want to impose on your personal space.
His reply was almost instant.
James Barnes: No, I don’t mind at all. Alpine would love the company.
Before you could even wonder who Alpine was, you remember your previous conversation with Steve once.
‘Bucky also has a cat...’
Y/N Y/L/N: Okay, then I’ll be there. You also have a cat?
James Barnes: Oh, yeah. He’s the sweetest. *1 Attachment.*
Opening the image, you see a fluffy, stark white cat. He had big eyes that anyone would swoon over. You look at the foot of your bed where Lucy is curled up into a ball, fast asleep. You carefully snap a picture, smiling at her.
Y/N Y/L/N: I’ll admit, he’s cute. But can he compete with her? *1 Attachment*
You smile, seeing the typing bubble, waiting for him to respond.
James Barnes: Doll, no one can compete with Al. But I can’t deny, Lucy’s a gem.
Reading over the message at least seven times, your eyes keep lingering over the first word. Doll. It was in a loop in your head, the only thought you were having was that one word.
Why did he call me that? Is he flirting with me? No... he doesn’t even like me! But then why would he be talking to me right now? And why would he send me a picture of his cat...
And now your hands were working faster than your brain, typing out a quick response with your stomach doing backflips.
Y/N Y/L/N: Alright, whatever you say, Bucky. I’m heading to bed, good night.
And you don’t wait for a response before shutting off your phone and plugging it in, putting it on do not disturb and abandoning it on your nightstand, flipping open your book. You were trying to clear your thoughts but miserably failing.
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky responded with a wide smile at the sight of you using his nickname.
James Barnes: Sweet dreams, Y/N.
That night, Bucky fell asleep with Alpine on the pillow next to him, but a wide smile on his face and his stomach full of butterflies.
Little did he know, so were you.
-
The next day, you woke up feeling like a brand new woman. You got a decent amount of sleep. You got out of bed and made coffee before you left the house. You arrived to school way earlier than usual.
To be honest, you didn’t know what was going on.
James was being nice. To you. Why the sudden change of heart? Or maybe he was going back to acting like an asshole when he sees you in person. You didn’t really know what to expect.
Honestly, what you expected the least was for a knock to be heard on your door, 15 minutes before your first class of the day.
“Come in!” You say, expecting a student or maybe Natasha or Wanda.
But the door swings open, and there’s James. He’s standing there with two paper bags, undoubtedly from the bakery down the street.
“Hi.” He says. Not offering anything. No explanation, no emotion. No indication of our conversation last night.
“Hi. Did you need something?” You ask, and for once, it wasn’t in a dismissive or cold tone.
“Uh, no. Just wondering if you’ve eaten anything yet today?” James asks, holding up the bags in his hand.
“Uhm... no...” You tell him, not understanding why he was asking.
“Oh, well I have an extra croissant, if you’d like.” He holds up the bags once again.
“Sure, you can sit in here to eat if you’d like...” You offer, not sure of the water you were treading in.
“Oh, thanks.” He sits down and you both pull out the pastries and start eating. “So, how’s Lucy today?” James asks, a slight smirk on his face. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you or not.
“Uh, she-she’s good. Clingy as usual. How’s Alpine?” You return the question.
“Same for him, also clings to me like a koala when I leave, I always feel bad, but I don’t really have a choice.” You both giggle at the remark, nodding in agreement.
“I understand. Lucy’s still a kitten too, so she’s been getting attached a lot. But I think I need her just as bad as she needs me.” You tell him, and you don’t know why.
“Oh... no boyfriend?” James asks, and now you really can’t tell if he’s pulling your leg.
“Oh-” You giggle, covering your mouth. “That’s funny. No, no boyfriend.” You continue to laugh until you fall back into silence, and James is just watching you.
“What’s so funny?” He asks, genuinely perplexed at your reaction.
“James, I don’t think either of us are idiots. I don’t think I come off as girlfriend material to most guys.” You laugh again.
It became quiet, and you look back to your computer, ready to end this awkward conversation. You knew you had your insecurities, but it had always been hard for you to put yourself out there. Especially for guys. Your anxiety and introverted nature really put a pause on your already non-existent dating life.
Besides, you’ve always been alone. And you didn’t think that would be changing any time soon.
“Okay, well I’m gonna head out. I have a class to prepare for. See you tonight?” James asks, getting up from his seat across from you.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll see you then. Could you text me your address and what time I should be there?” You ask, also gathering your lecture notes and laptop.
“Sure thing, Y/N. Bye.” He waves, leaving. As soon as he steps out, you hear the clicking of heels against the laminate flooring.
“Why was Bucky in here?” Natasha’s gravelly voice asks, looking confused as ever.
“He just brought me a croissant, we were talking about our lesson plan for next week.” You explain to her. “Walk with me to my lecture?” You ask, pointing out the door.
“Sure,” she agrees, waiting for you to lock the door, “so, have things been... civil between you two?” Natasha asks tentatively.
“Actually, yes. He’s not all that bad. I’m going to his place after classes to work on the lesson plan, he asked me yesterday to even bring Lucy over so she could meet Alpine.” You tell her.
“Oh- wow, really? He’s being so... nice to you...” She responds.
“I-I know... I don’t understand why... He made it clear he doesn’t really enjoy my company.” You respond.
“Yeah... Well, this is new. I hope he keeps up with it.” She pats you on the shoulder as you reach the lecture hall.
“Yeah, me too.” You say, turning to her before going in.
“Hey, can I stop by your office for something at lunch?”
“Sure, see you then!” You tell her, setting up for your class.
-
Lunch time comes around, and Natasha was already waiting for you when you finished your class by lunchtime. You remembered James also asking to come by to eat with you and work, so you tried to make it quick with Natasha.
“So, you and Bruce already finished your lesson plans?” You ask, looking for a booklet she needed.
“Yeah, he’s fun to work with. Kinda a nerd, but he knows his shit.” She says, smiling and leaning against your desk. “Any reason you’re in a rush?” She asks, catching you off guard.
“Oh, uh, James is coming to eat here so we can get ahead on the lesson.” You tell her, looking back through your drawer.
“That’s... interesting.” Natasha’s brows were drawn together. “You two seem to have a lot of time allotted together.”
“Well, we have only a little of our lessons done, and we really don’t want to show up unprepared. You know how much I hate that.” You tell her, finally finding what she needed.
Outside your office, James was just about to walk in when he heard your voices.
“Yeah... Just wondering, did he ever... apologize for what he said that one night?” Nat asks.
“Uhm, n-no. He’s been really kind to be as of late, so I’m assuming we’re turning a new leaf... But he makes me... nervous sometimes. Just a few days ago, he wouldn’t even look at my lesson plan ideas. He looked like he would rather violently bash his skull in than work with me. I’m just- I’m confused. What made him change his mind?” You think out loud, really wondering if James’ behavior was genuine.
“Y/N, I know you’ve been through a lot, but I think you should give him a chance. Don’t be so weary. If he’s being nice, don’t question it. I don’t know why he was like that with you from the beginning, but you shouldn’t have to beat yourself up over the fact that he’s actually treating you with respect.” Natasha puts her hand over yours, meeting your gaze.
“Y-Yeah. I know. I know I deserve respect, but it’s been hard lately. Ever since my family stopped talking to me, I feel like a failure. They don’t understand that I deserve that respect either. They think teaching is a shit job, they think I won’t get anywhere in life with it. I’m just sick and tired of them acting like I didn’t work hard to get where I am today.”
I talked to my brother the other day, and he said the same thing they’ve been saying since I started my PhD. ‘You’re not gonna get anywhere with this, you should get a boyfriend, we want grandkids.’ Like, okay! I get it! But where the hell am I supposed to find a guy when the cute one doesn’t even like me!? And my last boyfriend was in my undergrad. I feel a like teenager. I have literally no romantic life.” You huff out, absolutely tired of this.
“I- Y/N, I’m so sorry. You deserve a family that’s supportive of you and your passions. I hope Wanda and Carol and I have maybe helped you, kind of like a work family, y’know?” She holds your hand tighter. “We’ll always be here for you.”
You smile, walking around your desk to hug her.
“Thank you, Nat. I appreciate you all so much. I don’t think you’ll ever really know.” You hug her tightly before letting go. “James should be here any minute now, but we’ll talk more after class?”
“You betcha, but don’t think I forgot what you said... Maybe he does like you.” She says, and your face turns beet red.
“Natasha, no. I think he’s made it very clear he’s not into me. Like, at all. I’m surprised we’re even working together. I didn’t think he would cooperate.” You laugh. “Okay, seriously, you gotta go. I don’t want him to walk in on us talking about him.”
“Okay, okay, talk later. Bye, Y/N.” She says, making her way out, and Bucky pushes himself against the wall, hoping she wouldn’t see him.
“Don’t forget what we talked about, yeah?” She says to him, not even looking back. Natasha only stops when she doesn’t hear his response, turning around. “Listen to me, Bucky. We may be friends, but so are Y/N and I. I don’t know if it was me or Steve who finally knocked some sense into the dumb head of yours, but if she comes to me again, crying, telling me she can’t take it from you anymore, I promise; you’ll be off this faculty faster than you can say ‘tenure.’ Now, am I understood, Barnes?” Natasha concludes, completely in Bucky’s personal space.
“I- yes. I understand.” He gulps, looking down at his hands. “I-I’ve been trying. To be nice to her. I know what I did before was wrong, but I’m trying, okay? Steve and I had a... a long talk.”
“Yeah, whatever. This better not just be a one-time-thing. From here on out, I want no complaints from her. She’s been through enough shit, and she doesn’t need any more from you. I have somewhere to be, and so do you.” Natasha says, parting ways and letting Bucky release a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
He composes himself one last time, and walks into your office.
“Hi, James.” You give him a soft smile, “Take a seat, we’ve got work to do.”
-
When your last lecture finished, you made your way home to get what you needed to head to James’ apartment. He’d texted you the address and told you you could come by any time after 6:30.
You were thinking back on your lunch break with him. He was quiet, almost nervous to be sitting in front of you, and you couldn’t understand for the life of you why.
It was uncharacteristic of him to be so demure, and you wonder why he was suddenly so shy. Before, he wouldn’t have hesitated to make a remark, or take a jab at you. But now, he was quiet as a mouse.
It was concerning, to say the least.
So, on your way to his apartment, which was a solid 15 minutes drive, you call Natasha for advice.
“Hey. Can I talk to you about something?” You ask while you drive.
“Yeah, everything alright?” Natasha’s voice filters through your car’s speakers.
“Oh, I’m fine, but did something happen with James? He was acting so... odd today... He was so quiet, so nice. His behavior has been so different lately.” Your brows were furrowed, genuinely trying to crack this puzzle.
“Uh... well, isn’t it a good thing?” She asks.
“I mean, yes, but did someone say something to him?” You ask, puzzled.
“Uh, no...” lie, “maybe he’s just turning over a new leaf, Y/N. I think you should stop worrying yourself over it so much. And if you really want answers, just confront him about it.” Natasha concludes.
“...Okay. You’re right. I think I’m just reading too much into this. I need to go, I’m almost there. Thanks, Nat.” You tell her.
“Bye, Y/N. Good luck.” And the line goes dead.
“Looks like it’s just me and you now, Luce.” You look over at her carrier in the seat next to yours, where she’s curled up into a ball inside.
-
Once you park and text James to let him know you’re on your way up, you sling your laptop bag over your shoulder and grab Lucy’s carrier.
As you make your way inside, you stop at the concierge desk, where an older man with grey hair and glasses greets you. His name tag reads Stan.
“Hi, I’m here to see James Barnes?” You tell him, looking at the grandiosity of the lobby.
“Ah, yes, Ms. Y/L/N?” He asks, and you nod. “He said he was expecting you. Not that I don’t trust you, but I just need a form of ID before I can let you up.” You nod again, handing over you driver’s license.
He hands it back, giving an approving nod.
“Elevators are to the right, he’s in 12B.” Stan tells him, and you give him appreciative ‘thank you’ before you scurry to the elevator.
When you knock on his door, it takes a second for him to open it, a faint ‘Al, one second!’ resonating through the door, making you snort out a laugh.
“Hey, sorry about that. Come in,” Bucky finally appears, swinging his door wide open.
You walk in, setting down Lucy and taking your shoes off.
“So, is Alpine friendly with other cats?” You ask, weary of unzipping the carrier.
“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?” He asks, but stops when he sees your expression fall.
“S-Sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply anything, It’s just- Lucy’s a bit shy, but she typically likes other cats.” You say, looking down at her.
“I-I’m sorry- that was rude. I wasn’t trying to sound like an ass, I swear. Alpine’s friendly with other cats, but he needs a little time to warm up to other people. Don’t take it personally if he isn’t too fond of you at first.” He laughs, directing you to his couch where Alpine was perched.
“Oh, hi baby!” You coo, holding out your hand to Alpine. He tentatively inspects you with his eyes, first, and then sniffs you. He then, his head buts against your hand, asking for affection.
Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up, shocked at how friendly Alpine was being. He barely even looked at Steve and Sam when they come by. But here he was, purring and shoving himself against you.
“Well, I think Lucy won’t have a problem with him at all.” You smile, bringing the carrier over to the end of the couch and unzipping it, letting Lucy move at her own pace.
At first, she just wearily looks at Alpine and the unfamiliar setting. She then looks at you, where you encouragingly coo at her, making sure she was comfortable.
Bucky gazes at the whole scene with a soft look, watching as Lucy slowly saunters out of the carrier, sniffing Alpine and the couch. Soon enough, Alpine sniffs back, and they start playing with each other, forgetting their owners completely.
You both laugh at how well they were getting along, and the contrast between the black and white furs making it that much better.
“Well, should we get started?” You ask, finally turning to Bucky with a big smile.
In that moment, his throat goes dry, and all he can think is... She has a beautiful smile.
“James? Everything alright?” You ask, breaking him out of his trance.
“I- Yes! Sorry, got distracted for a minute... Would you prefer Italian or Chinese for dinner?” He asks, shaking his head and trying to change the subject.
“Uhm, I don’t mind, whatever you’d like.” You smile, grabbing your laptop.
“So... Italian, then?” He asks with a light laugh.
“Sure.” You answer. “Where can we sit to work?”
“Oh, the table’s fine, we can eat while we work, too. Let me go order really quick.” He excuses himself after pointing to his dining table, and heading into the kitchen.
When Bucky reaches the kitchen, he takes a second to compose himself. He pinches in between his brows, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t know why he was acting like a teenager, he felt himself get flustered around you.
After he pulls himself together, he orders the food and comes back outside, finding you focused on something extremely intently on your screen.
“James, what do you think for something like this for a more interactive activity?” You ask, turning your computer to him, waiting for him to read the plan, biting your lip nervously.
“This- this is awesome, doll. This looks really good, the students would love this.” He tells you, reading over it one more time.
“O-Oh, thanks.” You thank him shyly, stomach fluttering while looking down at your lap again.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, breaking the silence.
“Oh, the food-” James moves to grab his wallet, but you grab his wrist, stopping him.
“James, you’ve already been so hospitable, let me get it-” You say, but he shakes off your hand and shakes his head.
“No, I can’t let you do that, I insist,” he responds, beating you to the door and handing the delivery man his card, letting him ring it up quickly.
You huff, sitting back down in your spot with a pout.
“James, you suck,” you huff, visibly annoyed. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well, I did. Now, let’s eat. You good with red wine?” He asks, pulling out two wine glasses.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You say, unpacking the food as he pours some wine.
As he sets down some plates, he sees your expression still pouty, like a child.
“Y/N, stop pouting.” You look so cute. “You can get it next time.” I wish I could kiss you.
“Oh, there’s gonna be a next time?” You ask, your face turning red yet again.
“I mean, we’re going to have to make more lesson plans, depending on how long Fury keeps this up.” He laughs, but you freeze at his words.
It’s true, you think to yourself, we’re probably going back to how it was before when this is all over. That’s probably why he’s being nice to me.
“Hey, you alright? Did I say something?” James asks, a concerned look on his face.
“N-No, you’re good. Sorry. Ready to eat?” You ask, changing the subject.
“Yeah... You sure everything’s okay?” He asks again, trying to make sure.
“James, everything is okay, please. Let’s just eat.” You smile, placing a hand over his in reassurement.
-
Dinner was delicious, and now you and James were sipping on wine while working, occasionally checking on Lucy and Alpine.
“Hey, do you think a group project could work? I usually give some to my students, I have a template I follow, but you could change it to your liking-” James tells you, but you cut him off with your thoughts.
“James, can I ask you a question?” You ask, hovering a hand over his.
“S-Sure. What’s up?” He sounds weary.
“You know, before we started this project, you like... loathed me.” You say. “Why?” Your voice breaks at that last word, barely getting it out of your throat.
“I... I just-” He takes a deep breath and looks down, grabbing your hand, “I thought you were... snobby, stuck up. I thought you came to this school thinking you were better than everyone else, that you were here to one-up us all.”
And before you could cut him to deny it with your shaking head, he continues.
“And I know now that I was wrong. I-I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you, especially at the bar. After you left and Steve took me home, he basically yelled at me and told me how what I thought of you was completely off. I shouldn’t have assumed all those things about you, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me, one day.” He concludes, holding onto your hand so tightly to convey just how sorry he was.
“I- Oh, James. Y-You know, I never meant to come off that way. I just- I’ve always had trouble making friends and talking to people, and things have been hard recently. I never meant to make you o-or anyone else, for that matter, to feel that way. I’m so sorry.” You say, tears prickling behind your eyes.
“Y/N, doll.” James moves out of his seat, wrapping you in his arms. “I can’t even tell you how much I wish I was more open-minded, more patient. Ever since Steve and Nat have talked to me, I’ve been just-”
“Nat? What has Natasha told you?” You stop him, pulling away.
“She- she just told me to stop. She told me you’ve been going through a lot, and that I wasn’t making it any better for you so-”
“Did she say what? Why would she tell you about my personal life-” You begin to ramble and waving your hands around.
“Doll, no she didn’t-”
“She had no right to say-”
But before you could continue, Bucky cuts you off.
With his lips.
Against yours.
Bucky was kissing you.
Oh my god, he’s kissing me!
You pull away looking at him in utter shock.
“Wh- What did you do that for?”
“I just- You were rambling, but I didn’t know how else to stop you.” James says, a blush creeping up his neck.
“So you kissed me?” You ask incredulously.
“Uh- yes?” He says, more like asks.
“I uh... I have to go.” You say, looking anywhere but his eyes as you gather your items, hunting down Lucy and putting her in her carrier; much to her protest and distaste.
“Y-Y/N, please, don’t go. Let’s just talk!” James pleads, but you’re not listening.
“N-No, I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you in class next week. Bye, James.” You huff out, running to the nearest stairwell.
A part of you wanted him to run after you, but you needed time to process... whatever that was.
Did he kiss you because he liked you? Or because he wanted to shut you up?
You cut the drive home into half, the first thing you do after getting through your door is calling Natasha.
“Nat, I fucked up...” Your voice was weak through the phone.
And back in Bucky’s apartment, he dialed Steve’s number.
“Steve, I fucked up... real bad.” He meekly provides, his head in his hands.
-
a/n: oh boy. what’s gonna happen ??? hmmm... let me know down below! hope you guys enjoyed ;)
also, did y’all peep my stan lee cameo? :)
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pfreadsandwrites · 4 years
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Kakashi NSFW Alphabet
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18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED
Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.
No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!
Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi​ because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)
Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.
If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.
When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.
Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.
plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?
Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?
Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)
Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.
But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?
But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.
Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.
The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.
Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.
Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.
Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.
So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).
To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.
When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.
But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)
Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.
But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush..  LMAO there’s a thought)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.
That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.
He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.
He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.
Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:
Spanking ;)
Teasing
Face-fucking
Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)
clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)
semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),
body worship (is that a kink)
LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me
he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.
But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.
WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.
I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.
He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.
I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.
He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.
Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be
Long version (I’m sorry guys):
By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.
He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.
But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.
…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.
With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want. 
He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.
So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8
Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.
But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.
I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.
The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too
If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.
He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.
He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.
So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.  
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you.  But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.
Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.
Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less.  But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.
As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.  
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ddarker-dreams · 4 years
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Icebreaker. Giorno x F Reader 🎀
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a/n: i wanted to show more of SR reader’s personality here! i had a lot of fun playing around with this scene, i really just wanted to show her she goes about talking with the others. reader and giorno try to understand people in different ways. :’) 
[Scarlet Ribbons description]
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There’s only so many times you can count the birds overhead before it becomes a dull affair. 
Still six of them, you think. Fugo had caught onto your fascination of the sky a few minutes prior. He offered some knowledge on the creatures, which admittedly, was rather enlightening. Should you ever be quizzed on random trivia involving birds, you’ll do better than most. Fugo’s wide array of knowledge on various topics never failed to impress you. 
“That brings me to seagulls, which black-tailed gulls are often mistaken for. Seagulls are one of the few animals capable of drinking seawater, possessing special glands that filter out excess salt.” 
You furrowed your eyebrows at the revelation. “We really got handed the short end of the evolution stick.” 
“That’s what you’re worried about?” Fugo sighed, and placed a hand on his hip. “What even goes on in that head of yours?”
“Too much or nothing at all. There’s no in between.”
Truth be told, it’s not really birds that you’re mulling over. 
As subtle as you can manage to, your eyes shift to the latest recruit Bucciarati brought in. Giorno Giovanna. He is currently standing farthest away from the group. Not that you can entirely blame him, as Abbacchio has made a point of shooting him dirty glances on occasion. 
When you had been introduced to the others, you were immediately able to mentally place them. Bruno was someone who commanded respect. Fugo was rough around the edges yet meant well. Narancia brought lots of energy with him. Abbacchio felt prickly, but wouldn’t be antagonistic unless provoked. Mista… well, Mista was just an easy going guy. Within minutes of meeting him you were talking and laughing like old friends. 
So what does that make Giorno? 
You honestly have no idea, and it’s bothering you. He felt like a walking contradiction. There was no getting a read on him, no understanding what he’s thinking. In theory it should be easy enough for you to talk to him. Giorno’s very polite, and doesn’t give the same standoffish vibe you used to get when speaking to Abbacchio. All the methods you utilized to befriend the others feel like they won’t work with him. You're of the inclination that even if your attempts at conversation bothered him, he’d never voice it, for the sole sake of remaining courteous. 
Sitting here and worrying about it won’t do me good, you decide, standing from your seat. Now might be the best time to try and understand Giorno better. Everyone is spaced out on the yacht, doing their own thing. Maybe he’ll feel more inclined to speak his mind without the others lurking around. You find yourself walking towards where he stands, peering over the Tyrrhenian Sea, golden hair illuminated by sunlight. There’s no plan in your mind. Your improvisation rate has at least an 80% success rate, far higher than Mista’s. Hearing your approaching footsteps, Giorno turns, greeting you with a nod of his head.
You stand by his side, looking in the same direction he was. “Are you a fan of the sea, Giorno?” 
“It has its draws,” Giorno responds. He then pauses, as if deliberating for a moment, and poses you the same question. “Do you like it?”
“To be honest, it’s a little nerve wracking. I’ve seen those videos of waves taller than buildings crashing down onto boats before, and I’ve never looked at the ocean the same,” you admit with a shiver. Giorno blinks, and you realize your comment is akin to talking about a plane crashing when you’re on a plane. Whoops. “Not that I think that’ll happen. We’re not far out enough.” 
“That’s a relief.” He replies. 
You’re grateful for the grace he extends to you. “Anyways… I wouldn’t mind seeing the faraglioni while we’re out here. I’ve heard it's quite a sight.” 
An idea had popped into your head. A small benchmark, to get a better understanding of Giorno’s character. You placed the incorrect emphasis on the end of faraglioni. Instead of finishing the word with the short vowel ə, you ended it with the long vowel i: to see if he’d point it out like Fugo or Bucciarati would. The latter in a far more considerate manner. 
Giorno doesn’t acknowledge it, choosing to overlook the minor error. “I’ve never seen it myself, but I’ve heard tourists enjoy it.” 
That small interaction gives you a better feel for who he is as a person. Giorno is a person who is considerate of others. Whether it be for maintaining peace or some other goal, you’re still uncertain, but it feels better having at least some understanding now. For good measure, you place a finger to your cheek in thought. Giorno watches your actions with curiosity. 
“Say, Giorno, did I pronounce that right...?” You wonder aloud in a pensive whisper. 
“It was very close,” he clears his throat. Giorno thinks for a moment, before continuing. “Faraglioni.”
Giorno ends the word with the proper long vowel. His correction is as well-mannered as he is. You nod your head, pleased with this knowledge on the new recruit. Repeating the word as he did, you let it roll off your tongue with ease. Not one of the more difficult Italian words you’ve had to wrestle with, in all honesty. 
He’s trying to get a read on you the same way you are with him. The inquisitive side of you wonders what conclusions he’s drawn from speaking to you, in comparison to the others. Well, at least you’re not as standoffish as they are. It must be a guy thing, you decide. I’ll ask Fugo about it later.
The two of you return to looking over the sea in a comfortable silence, basking in the sight of never-ending blue. Every now and then you’ll throw in a comment, to which he’ll respond in kind, if not a little stiff. It’s still an improvement over earlier. 
You have a gut feeling that you’ll get along with Giorno quite well. 
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Text
Likewise
Cal Kestis x Reader
972 words
Summary: Fluff! Just layin’ with Cal on Bogano. Soooooft. Always soft.
A/n: Hi so oh my goodness my last post kind of got a lot of attention?? So much more than I ever expected? Thank you so much!! I’m not lying when I say every bit of interaction lightens my day. Also, sorry it’s been a while since said post, school has been crazy and I haven’t really been in the mood to write. Instead I’ve been watching Gotham and Shameless. Can you tell what actor I’m currently fixated on?
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“I think I like the stars more from here.” You felt Cal hum against your stomach. A soft smile found its way to your face when you looked down at him, red hair rustling slightly in the evening Bogano breeze. You moved your hand from the ground to run through his hair, giggling when Cal let out a sleepy sigh. “Are you gonna fall asleep?”
“Probably.” It was muffled, but you could make out what he said. The pair of you had had an afternoon picnic of sorts, and had yet to return to the Mantis. You were sure Greez was getting worried, but when Cal had his face buried in your stomach and his arms wrapped around your waist, you simply could not be bothered to care.
You could hear boglings begin their nightly search for food, a calm filling you that you hadn’t felt in months. Running from the Empire was nothing if not exhilarating, but you couldn’t deny the joy you felt when you had the chance to just exsist with Cal- no running, no dodging, no fighting. It could be anything from dancing around the Mantis (much and were glad you had left your saber back on the ship- they were cute, but there was no denying they were downright sneaky when they decided they wanted something in their nest. Too many times raiding bogling homes for your stolen weapon had convinced you of that.
“Hey Cal?”
“Hm?”
“Do you remember, I think it was right before you left for Bracca with Master Tapal, but you woke me up and convinced me to sneak out of the Padawan dorms?”
You couldn’t see the smile on his face, but you were sure it was there.
“It was weird because we were both such goodie-two-shoes that the most sneaking around we had done was walk slower behind our masters so they couldn’t hear what we were saying.”
Cal his head so he could speak more clearly.
“You forget that one time we held hands underneath the table during dinner.”
You let out a surprised laugh- you had forgotten about that.
“Scandalous!” He turned his face back into your tummy. “Well, aside from our rebellious hand holding, sneaking out was the first time we had ever done something that would get us in trouble, intentionally.”
Cal pulled one arm out from between you and the ground, blindly grabbing around until he found your hand- the hand that had previously been stroking his hair- and moved it back to his head, all but demanding you resume. Which, of course, you did.
“We snuck onto a random balcony. I don’t think anyone had been on that balcony since Master Yoda was a padawan, honestly.” If you couldn’t sense that he was still awake, you would have assumed Cal was asleep by now. “To be fair, we had been climbing stairs for a while. We were nearly at the top of the temple, I think. To this day I have no clue how you found that place.”
If he felt any inclination to explain, he didn’t act on it. Cal was sure the Maker itself couldn’t create a more perfect moment- your fingers alone were enough to soothe him, but feeling your breathing, and hearing your voice, helped calm fears that had been born the moment his master died in front of him. Like this, he could be sure that you were okay. Alive. Happy.
“...of course, at that point, we were getting cold, but you refused to leave until we could watch the sunrise. I think you were scared to leave Coruscant.”
“Mh, scared to leave you.”
You felt your face heat up. Years and many instances past hand-holding later, and in a few words Cal was still able to fluster you. (If he were more awake you were sure he would tease you. You were confident in the more physical aspects of your relationship, yet a sweet word reduced you to a blushing youngling.)
“I guess being together constantly up until that point developed a bit of a dependency, huh?” You could feel his agreement through the Force. “We sat on the railing and watched the sunrise, just like you wanted. It was nice, though. The speeders going by were loud enough that there wasn’t any awkward silence. I always liked the Coruscant skyline, that was the first time I had actually paid attention to the sunrise. Last time, too, I think.”
You sighed as you remembered days long gone and people long dead.
“If, somehow, we ever got the chance to go back to Coruscant, we should watch the sunset. Complete the cycle, you know? It’d be nice. This time we can use each other for warmth rather than shiver. My master was so concerned when I saw him for breakfast, put his cloak around me and everything. My fingers were blue! Not the most pleasant aspect of that night.”
A small snore drew you out of your reminiscing and put a stupid grin on your face. Despite the pain and loss you both had gone through, you had found each other, you had found happiness and a family and a purpose beyond just surviving.
“I love you.” You spoke it out into the night, and some part of Cal’s force signature replied likewise. You would tell him again tomorrow, and hopefully everyday after that, but your whisper out into the night was something you would keep for yourself- a promise to let yourself be selfish, let yourself love and be loved in return. A promise to yourself that you wouldn’t let the guilt of surviving when others didn’t exclude you from what they would want you to have, to be.
No one else would ever know you whispered those words at that exact moment, and you were okay with that.
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Thank you for reading!
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