#if you not thinking about her its your sister and thats just the bad option

[nimblelizard]

If a man doesn't save my life and when I ask him why he came back and he doesn't say "I dreamed of you" then idc and I dont want it

[sparrowmoss]

the acolyte episode 3 livetweet post SPOILERSSSSSSS

curious to know why the little girls playing young osha and mae are not identical twins. just an interesting choice when u have the same person playing the adults so obviously they are identical

NIGHT SISTER?????

oh no we’re about to find out the bad stuff

oh my god their mother is the coolest looking woman ive ever seen

okay not a night sister just a zabrak. and this zabrak is their other mom. so why did they call her koril and not also mom or something

OH MY GODDDDD YESSSSSS YES YES YES GETTING TO SEE OTHER FORCE WIELDING PRACTICES!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES

witches… so… Maybe a night sister thing. maybe just other witches

osha i love you. you are so great and i relate to you so bad it makes me feel ill

FUCK this is so cool

ABIGAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dude the wookiee has a part shaved head thats so cool

ohhh it is mother koril. okay!

oh my god the actual. hypocrisy of this. the jedi. im Laughing this is so unbelievable. no ones allowed to have children and raise them in their own force sensitive practices that can only be done by the jedi

“the jedi do not take children” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what you’re doing is wrong but i love you sol

sol what are you doing man

oh

man im so fucking mad at both sides. why do none of you want to give these children their own choice. it should be up to them what they want to do. mae should be allowed to stay with her mothers and osha should be allowed to learn about her other options and not be forced to take the same path as her sister

oh now mother aniseya says “osha wants to do it” which i am glad for

“she is old enough to know what she wants” so true!

hm. mixed feelings on this. i think koril should get just as much say if shes their other mom but she is still wrong on this

torbin is sooooo cute oh my god

LMAKSJSKFJKSD OSHA failing at lying 😭😭😭😭

oh dude im gonna cry. “there are other children there?” godddd what a miserable life

appreciate the rejection of destiny and saying you make your own choices. just on a personal level

them both cryinf is making me tear up i dont like this

mae what the fuck dude

dude whats even catching on fire its a room made of stone and metal

WHAT is GOING ONNNN that little fire didnt do all this did it

watching sol become attached in real time right here

THATS THE END???? man i…. im…. hmmm… i expected the jedi to have done something quite bad. but a child with codependency issues set fire to her entire town because these people and her mothers potentially intended to let her sister choose her own path. i really thought it was going to have been the jedis fault. the only thing they did that i take issue with is indaras initial implication that no one other than the jedi are allowed to train anyone to wield the force. but it seems like in the end the jedi were also going to give osha the choice whether or not to come with them….????

[tinyletterz]

YOU SHOULD GIVE ME UR VISUAL NOVEL RECS GRABBY HANDS

OKAY OKAY OKAY thank you for indulging me i love them sm some of these descriptions might sound like theyre missing stuff i just dont wanna spoil anything. all these games are free, online, and can be found on itch.io but i also linked them here too

this also got really long because i explain too much but i wanted to make sure i added enough detail w/out spoiling but also w/out leaving basic synopsis stuff out??? the mc is customizable so your not playing as a base set person which is so nice of the writers thank you guys sm:

a tale of crowns by @/ataleofcrowns

a story that follows the mc (you) as the new crown. there are 4 love interest (all male, all female, or a mix). this one depends on romance based meaning there aren't any aromantic options (i just wanted to put that out there since you are aroace ^^) i love the lore behind it and its geared towards poc which is nice <3 this is also the very first IF i stumbled upon. this is ongoing and chapter ten was just released and theres good/bad endings of chapter ten

superstition (pc versions: s1, s2, s3) (iphone friendly versions: s1, s2, s3) by @/13leaguestories

fantasy and a few other things that follows your journey through the new world of supernaturals you found after helping a woman on the streets. its rated 18+ because of sexual references but you can avoid it 100% at the beginning in the settings, though you might not be able to romance some of the characters. there's 6 love interest in total (3 male, 3 female) but depending on the setting there might be less. you also don't have to have a romance with any of them ! s3 is still in the works

when twilight strikes by @/evertidings

modern fantasy where you work for the ioas (international organization of supernaturals) as a bounty hunter. things get complicated after failing to catch a bounty the second time but i think thats for the best. i love this game soooo much it reminds me of shadowhunters and i love shadowhunters (just the books not the show but thats a different discussion omg). there are 5 romance options (1 is male, the others you can set to female/male/nonbinary or randomize like i did) ive played through this about three times; twice for the same character and once for another but i love the character dynamics

wayfarer by @/idrellegames

i will not lie the reason why i started playing this was because it reminded me of tolkien and i love tolkien. this story has you being a wayfayer: a person incapable of magic. you go on quest, forge pacts, and try your best to survive in a world thats not so kind to you. i think theres 7 romance options but i think you can not romance anyone too?? if you want more information about them you should check out the blog for the game since we haven't met all of them yet. ive played this game 4 times because i was unsatisfied with what i did those other three times and im gonna do it again :D there's options for sexually intimacy but also asexual routes though that means no relationships with some character. two chapters are currently out !!

mirror mine by @/if-mirrormine

okayaya so you were out shopping for your sibling's birthday right and when you finally get home, you won't believe it...you've been gone for 10 years?!?! everyone's so confused, your confused, your cat's just glad to have you back honestly. so an investigation has been reopened about your disappearance on why it felt like no time passed for you but ten years for everyone else. i love mystery sci-fi genre its still releasing chapters!! i think theres 4 romance options (1 male, 2 women, 1 you can pick) nd im not sure about aromantic options yet but its amazing

speaker by @/speakergame

theres a curse on your family that the first child has the ability to see visions of the future. you and your sister are twins with her as the oldest, meaning she is the Seer. you are a Speaker which means you can understand a limited amount of her visions. i love the writing there's also a demon dog which makes everything better!! theres 5 romance options i think ?? (2 you can pick, then theres 1 nonbinary, 1 male nd 1 female) ITS SO GOOD its a fantasy mystery IF and ive played through it twice so far

scout by @/anya-dev

its an apocalyptic story about humanity surviving in small communities. one morning (i think it was the morning) you meet other people not from your community which id odd because people can't survive on their own without support. this causes a whole list of issues but without these issues there wouldnt be a story so im very happy :D there are 4 romance options (2 male, 1 female, 1 you pick) but im not sure if this will get anymore updates. the author said their life was pretty hectic so i do hope things are alright on their end. even if it doesn't get updated i think the story is still amazing and will be seated with my favorites <3

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT ABOUT THESE GAMES they hold a special place in my heart i hope you play some of them and find them interesting like i do !!!!

[starnightlover]

Hello star, can I confide in you please , I am in need of advice and reassurance

I just raed a post of yours ir was an ask from someone several weeks back. This person talks about struggling to improve their sc and how their siblings are treated better and they are treated like shit. I think they also said they would never wish that on their siblings and how everywhere they go they are ignored and stuff. And I resonate so much with this that I hate to even admit

I know I am the creator and I know about loa and stuff still my sc is bad. I totally get their pain when they said about being treated worse than others. I know how shitty it feels. I will tell you about yesterday we went to a party and met other family members abd all that and again my sister went along with my other cousins and I am awkward and nervous coz its always been this way. If I try ti say something everyone acts like it was stupid or just ignores. Then one of (my cousins husband came along saying to my sister "she us my fav sis in law" and introducing her to everyone around calling her his fav. I know its such petty and stupid things to even think about but I felt really bad I was right there. My mom always sides with her and talks oo me like shit a lot if times.

I remember once 2 or 3 years back I was sitting on my couch and I said my skin looks so dull and then my dad said out of nowhere stop being jealous and youll be fine { he meant it pointing towards my sister as if I was jealous of her and he said in a way more mean and rude tone. Idk how to express that feeling but I was so shocked as it was so random. Back then I had none of these problems. I didnt even care if anyone treated my sister better than or shit like that. I was fine in my sc and had fun wherever I would go and life was so much better. My parents were the only ones who would compare me to my sister and say look at her does she ever demand for stuff or does she refuse to do this and blah blah and at that I time I could have cared less coz I knew for a fact that I was not wrong in voicing my opinions and thats why they always compare me to her (if I ever felt bad about their behaviour and expressed it to my parents they would call me toxic, or my head is filled with negativity while all I was doing was letting them k ow how hurtful their words can be ). I remember that day when I heardmy dad say that about me it hurt me so bad idk how to explain but even today when I recall it feels like I am getting physically stabbed AND after that I got so concious of every little thing I started comparing myself to ger and with all the circumstances I went through these years my sc just got even worse.

Now when I try to work on my sc I feel like I cant be the best, or good enough , or the most beautiful or all those things I want because I dont deserve it yeah but my sister does. I am stuck at home so I have to face this everyday. Like all these things are reserved for her. All I wamt to have is the best sc I dont want my sister to experience any shitty stuff and I dont want to be the one to experience it either. I sometimes get so angry on her in my mind and I just get irritated and I hate being with her coz I dont want to feel less than and looked down upon and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.

You might dislike me for saying the things I did but I really dont know how to get rid of all this. I dont want to be ignored or sidelined or treated like some third or 4th option or always getting shit from my parents. I know I have to affirm and persist or states but how do I even maintain it seeing the 3d it all feels like such a lie to me.

I see so many people manifesting weightloss and df and db and so much more. Even people who say they were horrible at manifesting and stuff like that they did it so quickly and I struggle to even manifest biscuits.

First off, I want to say I am so sorry you have gone through these experiences! You deserve the world and nothing less, hell you deserve the whole universe/multiverse! You wanting to change your self concept is a huge step! I know you are in hard circumstances but you are still in control, you are still limitless! You can manifest anything you can ever think of!! You are NOT limited whatsoever! You're amazing, talented, beautiful, worthy, loving, extraordinary just because you exist! You are the first choice because this is your reality! Pick yourself up and know you are chosen because you said so!! Recognize your limitless power! You have the power to bend all of reality t your will, realize how amazing and powerful you truly are! YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR REALITY!! Isn't that amazing? Don't blame yourself for everything that has been told to you or that you have gone through, you are not your trauma! I advise you to not identify with the 3d! The 3d is merely a reflection of your imagination. You fulfill within your imagination and the 3d has no choice to reflect that. Your emotions don't manifest, feel them all you want! Cry your eyes out, as long as you are not identifying with the outside world but with your imagination, which is the true reality you can not fail! YOUR DESIRES ARE INEVITABLE!! Nothing, I repeat nothing has control over you! Not your family, not your friends, not your 3d, not a single thing has any power over you! Failure does not exist you will always win! You can change your self concept by starting to identify with what you desire and not the unwanted circumstances! Change your conception of self because the world is merely a reflection of thyself. Change your assumptions towards manifesting! Change your assumptions to you always get what you want, people treat you amazingly, you are always the first choice, you manifest anything instantly! You need to change your conception from having such assumptions and identify with your power and awareness! You can maintain a good self concept by persisting in the dominant assumptions that align with your self concept being at a peak! Remember you are in control, you got this!

[luvlyycy]

for the character ask thingy: 5, 7, + 22 for any character of your choosing ^.^

“5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?”

“7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?”

“22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?”

-🫀

sorry im late !!! havent checked my asks in a bit <33 also, I'll do a few characters for each. uhhh 22. has a incest mention abt childe n dabi n tomu !!

5. law , light , gojo , deadpool.

the first thing that comes to mind when i think about law is his tattoos .. they are so cool !!

for light aaa.. I'd say i like to imagine what our domestic lives would be like.

for gojo, it's just dick. literally just his cawk n balls. him bein mean to me is all.

deadpool is how much of a cutie patootie he is and how he did cocaine (it baffles me).

7. law , zoro , childe , sukuna

for law its they give him vitiligo sometimes !!! I LOVE ITTT , and give him extra super duper many piercings... hes such a emo boy..

god , for zoro... WHEN THEY GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING MELANIN BACK AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

for childe its vv simple, when they make him manipulative, weird, stalker-ish , n off putting perv.

no curse aus are my fav with jjk so, when they give sukuna piercings and make him like cute stuff..

22. gojo , sukuna , sanji , law , deadpool , childe , dabi , tomura .

what i like for fics abt gojo is when hes really crazed, like his pupils get blown out his normally pale face is flushed pink and hes breathing heavy.. i love crazy men. one thing i dont like abt some fics is when they make it seem like he doesn't care abt anyone but himself, at that point its not gojo its ur oc babe.

gosh, i like so much stuff abt sukuna fics, mostly when they make itadori present cus his dynamic with him is sososo cute, and it'd be funny if itadori saw his uncle with a girl whos so different from him. something i do not like issss when they make reader so terribly babyfied around kuna to the point her speech sounds like shes 10.

i love when sanji is pathetic in fics, hes so down bad for reader that when she kisses his cheek hes almost crying. i love my baby sm. STOP MAKING. HIM. OOC. he would NEVER disagree with reader, EVER.

i love everything abt law fics, every take is good, next.

deadpool fics need to be silly, thank you everyone who makes him say jokes in and out of sex. that said, why take away this mans mojo? its like cutting off a dogs tail... no mojo..

I LOVE. childe . i love when they make him weird, make him weirder pls. he loves stuffing his face in a hamper of your dirty clothes type of weird. of course if he was your brother he'd be into incest, ofc he would. hes so caring abt his little brother that he would kill for him, now imagine if he had a sister?? as beautiful as reader is??? yeah, he wants his sister. that said... please, im begging you, please, make him angrier. hes not a soft baby guyys.

love when they make dabi realistic . like ofc this guy would smoke cigarettes and have a tongue piercing, OF COURSE his whole body wouldnt be burnt in a modern au — its just a big tattoo. yeah, ofc if one of his sisters stuck around for him he'd be so attached to point where he feels actual love for her. why wouldnt he ? he wants sister!reader so bad, shut up. something i hate is ... when they make dabi an insufferable asshole. like guys, i guarantee you do not love and know dabi if you make him act like a prick cus thats not dabi or touya thats a weird third option.

sigh, love when hes perverted and into piss. cus i know hes into piss. he watches porn and hentai all the fucking time, his balls are always full of nasty bitter disgusting cum because he doesnt eat or drink well. yeah hes seen sister/brother sex, why wouldn't he wanna try it? why wouldnt he call his sister mommy? or even call his gf mommy? hes a fucking bottom. when he tops he WHINES. hes a fucking loser who wants to do disgusting things to his sister and his gf. hes a fucked up person but underneath all that, hes a fucking NICE guy. overall, tomura is a gooner. stop taking away these guys mojo. im gonna kill you.

[banukai]

oh my god did i not even post about GEMINI yesterday. hello. is this thing on

AAAAAAAAA ok 1st off i literally had more trouble with the 4 leaplashers/longleg/plowhorn than the shatterspine :/ but it was cool to see a shatterspine! i still think frostclaws/fireclaws are the scariest of the mega-machines though.

the part in the beginning where theyre all riding together towards their cauldrons reminded me so much of RDR2 😔 i really hope Horizon 3 has ride-along sections like Red Dead...

🥺🥺🥺 Aloy and Beta finishing each others sentences while talking about bypassing the thingy ❤️ theyre besties your honor

the big sad happened..... I MISS VARL ...and the funeral with Zo later had me actually crying 😭❤️ Aloy vowing to Varl to protect Zo and her baby was so sweet

equally devastating was Aloy's promise and watching her break it. i know she wanted to do but she couldnt lose anyone anymore. shes very clearly just getting over Rost (all thanks to Varl 😭) and is bottling up all of her angst to focus on GAIA. She's lost a lot of people over the course of ZD and FW so i just dont think she ever would have been able to take that shot. i dont blame her for breaking her promise but it was still such a tragic moment. and im glad that Beta understands and still works with her in the Tilda house scene despite that. Seeing Beta get some of that Sobeck courage has been so lovely. which leads me to...

"That is between me and my sister." YES QUEENS!!!!!! THATS MY GIRL!!!! Aloy has virtually never had a moment of privacy in her entire life (between Sylens and Tilda's spying, and the GAIA crew honestly) so id imagine it was pretty fucking empowering for her to say that. Also !!!!!!!! THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!!!! Going from Aloy despising Beta because shes just not Aloy 2 to this is so... I dont even know how to describe it but its so good. Again, all thanks to Varl 😭❤️

ok can i talk about Tilda for a second. fascinating character but every time she appears its literally a white woman jumpscare. she literally weaponized white woman jumpscare to save Aloy lmfao. I really like her motivations boiling down to "i wanted a second chance" like thats so fucked honestly. can we talk about this? its not about doing the right thing its about her being so in love with Elizabet that she will help her clone daughters do whatever. thats just so indicative of how fucked up the Zeniths are honestly. also, her anti-relationship with Sylens was fucking hilarious too (WORSTIES ❤️)

WINGS OF THE TEN....!!! Sick as fuck quest honestly. I will never fast travel again (lying) because that Sunwing mount is so badass. Also the fight was Regalla.... I assumed it would be melee and bow only but then Regalla started pulling out plasma and ice arrows 💀 nvm bitch. Was so satisfying to see Kotallo kill her. I love Regalla (literally fell in love with her at first sight) but she had to go. It wasnt a matter of sparing her to shame her again, it was stopping Sylen's plan tbqh. Im not about to let him lead hundreds to their deaths as a distraction. And Im sure everyone there was chomping at the bit to do it. I.... wouldnt be surprised if you pick the spare option if he just kills her anyway.... ill have to look that up later.

OK thats all i have to say for now... ill spend the next like idfk week doing housekeeping and clearing out the side quests and such. i tried out the melee pits 👎👎👎 vile honestly. like genuinely the worst thing in this gane. machine strike wasnt as bad as the melee pits. ok now thats all bye

[dopaminergicaddictions]

Once my birthday is over I'm killing myself. For a lot of the reasons.

1) I'm never going to stop hallucinating...

2) I'm never going to find a girlfriend..

3) i was delusional about Elise...

Why won't I find a girlfriend?

1) I'm trans

2) I'm on disability

3) I have ocd that makes things difficult household wise.

4) once I tell them I hear voices/ have auditory hallucinations no one will date me... I mean unless it's another voice hearer such as myself.... they are the only people who understand that the content varies and its not like, "kill them, Skin them, kill yourself, cut your mothers head off..." thats what people think when you tell them you hear voices.

You immediately go to less of a person. Not a real option. A danger to society and people look at you and treat you differently. They don't feel bad for you. They are scared of you. They look at you like the voice chants, kill everyone you know. Voice hearers and mental health professionals are the only people who understand that the voice could legit say "bounce on a bouncy ball," all day.... sometimes it can be amusing... generally my voice is just repetitive...

I hear, "happy birthday," "I have a birthday present for deadname blanchette," "successful right now," or "successful deadname," "successful Nathan," " this is special," "this is a special place for a reason," "don't Kill yourself," "you love yourself too much to kill yourself," "Elisha Blanchette," and my own thoughts repeating as an auditory hallucination. Rarely does it say anything else. It may say, "I only told you to hug your mother bc I'm psychosis not schizophrenia".... or, "internal peace/silence is coming" but to everyone else on earth I might as well be hearing, "kill them. Catch them, capture them. Skin them. Dismember them."

That's the problem with society and people not understanding mental health issues and especially auditory hallucinations... my voice was never fucking violent. It's mean to me but only so mean it won't say, "I want you to kill yourself." It won't bring up trauma. Although psychosis used to make me see mental pictures of my dogs dying in front of me.... like the very beginning.....but it wasn't the work of the voice... just to state that... it was actually just that all my mental pictures were trauma or sexual in October-December...

But to girls I might as well be a drooling psychopath.... My sister was like maybe you should focus on finding friends cause of your current situation... most people won't be willing to date you. That's why I'm going to kill myself. She thought she was being helpful... how is it helpful to bring up another flaw I have, that I know is on most people's lists of deal-breakers...

And now my dating pool has turned into queer voice hearers. Or queer mental health professionals..... I low key think my current therapist who is a voice hearer with either schizoaffective or schizophrenia wants to end client/therapist and be friends. Her friend request on fb remains. It was submitted 6 week ago when I messaged her to be her client but left her on read for like 4 weeks... she's pretty but yea who knows maybe she just wants to connect socially. She recently asked me when I talked about elise, "do you think you should have any female therapists right now?" I took offense to it cause like I have no feelings for any of my therapists... Erin is older and not my type and tbh she's been texting a lot recently during my sessions and I want to stop seeing her. Yes she's somewhat pretty but I feel nothing for her romantically...

Danielle is pretty but I mean I see her as a therapist. Kristen was gorgeous... and I kinda wanted to be her friend but I wanted her as a therapist more. I didn't want to date her but the elephant was smashing us against the wall making shit awkward. And now I hate her cause she didn't catch it before it turned into this....

Maybe Danielle wants to know me socially.... but Elise is the only therapist I've had feelings for. I don't view her as a therapist. But in terms of Danielle's question... there is only one person and it's bc of the close personal relationship we shared which boundaries were crossed... the boundaries being crossed isn't why I have feelings for Elise... but it is the reason I'm still fixated on her... I mean sorta. If everything ended the way it was suppose to I would still think about her but I wouldn't be writing on tumblr. I would probably be with Katie again becuase i would have shown up for the bunny picture she posted on fb in July and she would have taken me back bc her dog tries to eat them and it traumatizes her. I only didnt show up because I have feelings for Elise and I knew me and Katie would be together if I did. And be hopeful one day Elise would show up and we could be friends.

Either queer voice hearers have now become my only dating option other than mental health professionals. Or people who have a brother or sister and get it's not, "kill them," people including my Dr's write me off and talk to me like I've lost my personhood.

So yea. I'm pretty done with my shitty life. I doubt elise is going to show up for me. I mean when I think about those eyes I think she will, but then I look at actions. Blocked nearly everywhere. And she didn't respond to me professionally.... so I guess I'm meaningless shit to her. But who knows. All I know ow is actions speak louder than words. I remember her previous actions and they speak very loudly... but as for right now her actions say you're a drooling psychopath and I may be keeping you unblocked bc I'm worried you'll use it against me. WHICH I NEVER WOULD. Cause I love her.

Either way Danielle's questions was offensive cause I never talked positively about Kristen. She might as well be the devil to me. Also I never talked about Erin other than thats she's my therapist. Maybe it's bc she finds me attractive and wants to know me socially and we are only 3 weeks in... the only therapist I've talked about romantically or even in terms of attraction is Elise..... and it's very clear I don't see as a therapist... it'd very clear i see her person to person... that's the thing. Nonetheless it was offensive. Bc of all these facts

Factually- i have never had feelings for a therapist.... never. Not one of them. Attraction is a little different... but Attraction is meaningless to me. I'm about love. I think Megan fox is pretty but I don't want to have sex with her. I especially don't want to be with her...

I have to love you to want to be with you. Elise i saw as a peer... not day one but by the year mark we were person to person. Not therapist to client.

The sad thing is- Before I met Elise, therapists were just asshole who sat on their ass and made money off your problems and couldn't give a shit about your life or your feelings and you were just money in their wallet...

Then i met Elise and- that fucking changed. I started to see therapists as person to person. I started to see they do care about you personally and you're not just money.

I fell in love with her but that besides the point before that happened-shes the reason I feel that therapists do care about their clients. That they see me and anyone else they see as a person.

Although I do think generally the therapist sees the client as a person but on a lower level.. not that they are better than them but that they have a professional duty to them.. and that makes ot less person to person.

When I talk to any therapist now thanks to Elise-I see it person to person.

However-me and elise were different. Part of doesn't want to force her hand and make her meet with me Profesional despite the fact that it will help but--->

The reality is we really were person to person. Different than anyone else. The dynamic changed and we changed. There was something there. And it's only her. But anyways I'm crazy and she doesn't read this but writing helps. Tbh I'm prob going to stop writing here soon. I've been hopeful she might read it but If she sees me as dangerous or crazy. Maybe i should commit my writing to paper and pen and keep it from the world.

[lost-butterfliies]

Didnt wanna add that to the posts i just rb'ed but i remember getting my first periods and like

I was 10yo i think and i never had sex ed before (which i dont blame on anyone, my period was rather early (am doing a quick google and yeah 10 is a normal age but the average is around 12-13)), and as far as i can say i didnt have much symptoms besides the bleeding (i cannot remember having any & if i did have them i did not link them w the bleeding) so i was like. Mh did i injure myself? Do i have a Problem? Nah lets just Hide It as best i can, i.e. not very well, which was Good cus then my mum noticed and was like oh yeah thats normal i can give you pads :) (i think i wouldve enjoyed some biology at the time to actually explain what was going on but it was my mum, shes bad at sciences and can be old fashioned, she couldnt have explained it and she probably wouldnt have been comfortable doing so (she might be better at it now that she has three or four (just realizing idk if the youngest (11yo) has had her first period yet, i feel like a bad brother now) kids who have/had periods (T stops my period but if i am late for doing my shot it sometimes starts again so thats fun 🙃) (and yeah fun fact my first period was a few years? before my older sister got hers, and i remember her finding bloody underwear of mine and going "whaaaat [alex] did you shit yourself" bc she didnt know about it either i guess and it was extremely awkward ngl :')))))

And like why did child me think her best option was to pretend everything was okay? Esp considering that mysterious blood usually is BAD, like i didnt know it was a normal thing that happens to half the world population, it should have rung the alarm bells of "well maybe there is something very very bad happening and you should ask your parents and go to the doctor*" (*going to the doctor wouldnt have happened cus. Its a fucking period my parents would have explained. But if it had been some other blood incident seeing a doctor wouldve been the right move)

And like idk what my takeaway is with this story. Idk what pushed me to hide it, idk if it was my parents, idk if it was because it seemed intimate (not sure its the best word but whatever), idk if i truly thought it was benign and that it would get better if i ignored it and suffered through it so it wasn't worth pointing out (honestly you can probably psychoanalyze the hell outta me just with this part). All i know is i wish it had been different bc baby me deserved better she deserved love and attention and everything else

[nikkisixxsgirlfriend]

that girl put a spell on me

eddie munson x hippie!byers!reader

joyce was a hippie in the 60s and 70s you cannot convince me otherwise

you had begun wearing your moms old clothes.joyce never had any complaints about sharing clothes.so you usually borrowed pieces from her closet.and a while ago you found yourself looking at the long skirts and colourful clothes that most definitely belonged to a hippie.you could smell the faint smell of weed on them.and you made fun of your mother about it for days.

until eventually she made fun of you for wearing the same clothes.you were drawn to the clothes,the ideologies,the music and before you knew it you were in ankle length skirts with flowers in your hair.

you didnt really care how people perceived you.and its not like your family wasn't used to the judgement of outsiders.but still you never wore the clothes outside.you kept them in your home where they wouldnt be ridiculed.

until today.you had no clean clothes.your family wasnt exactly the clean sunday morning chores type so after digging through piles and piles you realized that was your only option. so you put the outfit on and mentally prepared yourself.

your mom and will complimented you but you were sweating like crazy.its hard to hide in a small town.and sure it wasnt a big deal,but you knew the kind of shit jason and the cheer team put freaks through.

jonathon could tell you were nervous in the car.

"you look good you know"

"yeah im just worried."

"about what?"

"about those asshole preppies saying something."

"if they say anything i'll beat em up" he offered. which made you burst out laughing. "im serious,i can pack a mean punch." he smiled.

"i dont believe you in the slightest."

"i mean it,last year i managed to beat steve harrington."

"bullshit" you scoffed.

"im serious,he ended up with a black eye for weeks" he rebuttled. the conversation put a smile on your face and distracted you from how nervous you were.

jane chimed in from the backseat telling you how pretty you were."i made you this" she said,handing you a flower crown "max taught me how." you thanked her and put the crown on your head.

no one was going to let you live this down.even if you changed your clothes back tommorow.

you'd made it your goal to not attract attention to yourself at school.to not get a reputation.in a small town a bad reputation doesnt do you any good.

you saw how they treated will,jonathon,jane,hell how they treated eddie munson and all he did was wear a dio jacket.

you walked into school with a smiley sister who had left to talk to max.a glaring older brother who left to talk to his girlfriend.and a younger brother who ran off to talk about dungeons and dragons with his dorky friends.

and thats when it hit.everybody was looking at you.the fact that they stared at you and judged you for something as simple as an outfit pissed you off.yeah yeah you were supposed to be all love and peace but you could hear it.hear them insulting you.calling you a weirdo.making up rumours about how your mom was probably too poor or crazy.

and yeah those rumours might be true but fuck,it made you wanna scream.

"i think you look killer."the voice next to you said,snapping you out of your thoughts. you closed your locker and turned to see eddie munson.

"yeah well i think its just you.before today i had no reputation,and now im the girl who wears hand me downs and hang out with eddie munson."

"you say that like its a bad thing." he smiled.

you two began walking. "its not a bad thing that im talking to you its just that everyone thinks im some whacked out hippie now."

"well,are you?"

"bordering on it.what about you?are you really such a freak?"

"in more ways than one." he joked.

"besides who gives a shit what they think." he continued.

"i do,my family gets enough shit from this town as it is."

"youre taking this very negatively."

"whats not to take negatively?"

"well,youre a freak now." "why thank you eddie,that makes me feel better." "just let me finish.youre a freak now,no matter what you do,you'll always be a freak from now on.so embrace it.do whatever you want.no matter what everyone will think its just you." he turned to you,placing his hand on your shoulder.

"join the dark side __ "

"you are such a nerd" you smiled.

"and you are a nature loving weirdo" he smiled back.

you two kept walking and suddenly you didnt care what everyone was thinking or saying.

"so is it true that hippies like to cut class and go smoke with their friends?" eddie offered.

"this one definitely does." you smiled.placing your flower crown atop eddies head.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

"its true,you really can pack a punch." you laughed,pressing the ice packet to jonathons face.

"told you." he smiled,pointing at a busted up jason.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere RE8: TRP Part 4

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 5 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"Uhh... hello?"

You looked at the woman standing in the stairs. She was wearing a dark veil that matched the rest of her outfit- oh shit, that's a funeral outfit.

I really did pick a bad time to come here, didn't I? She's in mourning, she sees an intruder, and her day went from bad to worst. Yep, she's gonna kill me.

You took one look at the woman and then at all the possible exits: the doors- no, they'd be too heavy to move and what if they're locked? The window- but I'd have to jump out and just because it looks cool in movies to jump through glass, doesn't mean it'll work, Y/n.

So, the only option was to eliminate the threat. Or maybe... defuse it.

"This is your doll, right?" You asked, pointing at the doll, judging by the lace designs on both of their dresses. The woman didn't reply. "It looks like its been... used a lot. To be honest, she's very different than most dolls I've seen, definitely a lot more spookier." You nervously giggled, hoping she didn't mind. "But... she looks like she's been loved. A lot. Despite being broken from a lot of places, someone still took their time to fix her." You smiled sadly, remembering your own doll that Mia had ripped. "Wish I had someone like that. To sew up the wounds and fix them."You mumbled, not really sure if you were talking about your doll or yourself.

"Your doll, she's- she's very pretty. My sister would've liked her." You began. "Which is why I'm here. My family, we were in an accident- I know it was wrong of me to come here without permission, but I need to find my sister, Rose and my father, Ethan." You took a step closer. "They both of have blonde hair. Rose, my sister, she's just 6 months old. She was dressed in a baby pink onesie, bundled up in a blanket. My father, Ethan, he's about this tall and has big blue eyes. I think he was wearing a jacket, with blue denim jeans. H-have you seen them?" You asked, eyes full of hope and voice laced with eagerness.

Please, please let her have seen them. God, please.

Unsurprisingly, the woman didn't reply, but she did turn her head towards the left window. You didn't know whether she was telling you to get out of her house or signalling that they are out there, but you knew you had to leave.

Nodding, you slowly walked towards the window, your heart beating faster as you prayed that this wasn't some sort of trap, hoping she wouldn't attack you from behind because that would be like... really shitty.

But you left the house unharmed, and without looking back at the window because you didn't want to jinx it, you walked towards the forrest once again, thankful that the sun had finally came out.

Where are you guys?

You had been walking for a couple of hours now, the sun had been a bit warmer today, which was good since you hated the snow that surrounded you now. You looked at the map, tracing the path to your new destination. The Salvatore reservoir. It seemed like it would take you a day's journey to get there, and you sure as hell weren't seeing any lake in sight.

God, when will this nightmare end?

You decided to sit on a stone and take some much needed rest. Your feet ached from all the walking, and your calves were cramping. You rolled your head, popping it from the side, before taking off the rifle that had been weighing down, stretching out your arms. Digging through the little back pack you bought from Duke, you pulled out a thermos of coffee and twinkie. You don't know how or where he got it, but Duke had filled your bag with a couple of snacks; saying its for his loyal customer.

So, here you sat, in the middle of the snowy woods, eating a twinkie and drinking a lukewarm coffee. Both didn't taste good, but they're gonna keep you alive so, no complaining.

After drinking the coffee, you rested your head against a tree, recalling last nights events as you waited for the caffeine to kick in.

You tried to make sense of what happened when you got... locked in the basement. You thought you had forgotten about her, Angel. Guess not.

Wait- didn't that lady lock me in the basement? Maybe, she didn't look very hostile, her creepy doll looked scarier than she did.

You laughed at the irony. You always made fun of the horror movies where the family would become so attached to the most horrifying doll, and you'd scream at their stupidity, And yet here you were, falling for the cliche as you found comfort in that creepy doll.

Man, I'm really losing it here.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to come up with the next plan. But the warm coffee had lulled you right to sleep, which was dangerous but you were too tired to care.

Just for a couple of minutes...

You woke up to the sound of growling and heavy steps. And as soon as you opened your eyes, you knew you had definitely slept for far longer than a few minutes. But that was not of concern at the moment. No, it was the source of the growling that had woken you up.

Just about 40 feet away from you were lycans. Plural. Not one, not two, but 5 lycans, and one of them was a really big one.

You held your breath as you watched them wander around; they hadn't spotted you yet, and if you stayed quiet, you hoped they would just go away.

Stilling yourself as much as you could, you watched them with wide eyes. One of them started to walk in your direction, it wasn't looking at you, which meant that it hadn't seen you, but he would if he kept on walking this way.

God, I know we haven't been on good terms, but like c'mon, you gotta give me a break. Please, I love you? Come on, you know this is not how I want to go.

You sent a silent prayer, and perhaps it worked, since the lycan suddenly turned the other way, joining its pack as they started walking deeper into the woods.

Slowly, you began to gather up your things, silently shoving them in your bag, one eye on the lycans and the other one making sure that you don't accidentally drop something that'd cause noise.

Fortunately, you didn't. You swung the bag over your shoulder, and took a step forward, careful not to step on any twigs.

Maybe God did love me. All that time in church-

THWACK!

You jumped back as a huge sheet of snow fell from the trees in front of you. You whipped your head towards the monsters and they all had stopped dead in their tracks. Slowly, one of them turned and if they hadn't heard the snow fall, they'd definitely heard the way your heart was about to burst out of your chest. Then, it growled.

Motherfucker.

You pulled out your gun just as the two of them began running your way. With a quick jump to the side, you dodged them and shot them two times each. Hearing your gun fire, the other two began running your way too, while the larger one stayed behind as it watched. This time, as you shot one of them, the other managed to kick you in the chest hard, throwing you against the rock. Luckily, you didn't hit your head, as you rolled and shot it dead.

Spitting out the blood, you looked back at the last lycan who had already started running your way. You began loading up your gun with trembling hands, but just as you aimed, the lycan took a giant leap and knocked the gun out of your hand.

Fuck.

The giant grabbed you by your neck, lifting you up high before throwing you across the ground. You wheezed, scrambling up to your feet as you began running away from it, its heavy steps following you. It roared angrily behind you, and that only made you ignore the burning pain in your chest as you ran faster.

But of course, God had decided to make you live a cliche horror movie, because you tripped over a fucking branch, making you fall on your stomach. You flipped over instantly, and saw your nightmare come true as the lycan jumped on you.

On pure reflex, you punched it square in the face, which you doubted hurt it more than it hurt you, if anything, the monster was momentarily perplexed, but that was enough for you to slip from under it.

But you were only able to take a few steps away when it suddenly grabbed you by your neck and lifted you up again, snarling as it began opening its mouth, revealing its razor-sharp teeth at you.

God, if you're hearing this, I'm converting to atheism because I did not need this today.

Looking at the horrifying lycan, you prayed one last time before you were eaten by it. Surprisingly, your life did not flash before your eyes, which you were kinda grateful for because you did not need to relive that before your death.

But that moment didn't came. No, what came were familiar moans of pain, and then the sound of a drill, followed by blood splattering on your face as the lycan was sliced vertically from the head to the toe by the aforementioned drill.

The lycan fell to the ground, revealing the pair of soldats that killed them and behind them a smirking Heisenberg, who rested against a tree, tipping his hat at you.

You were far too shocked to say anything, and after a few seconds, the man walked over to you, blocking the view of his monstrous creations just mutilating the lycans.

"So... that was a bit traumatising." He started, chuckling at your stunned face. "You okay, kid?"

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck-

"Yeah." You took his hand, and he helped you up. You groaned at the pain, touching the tender side around the chest where the lycan had hit you. Yeah, you probably broke a rib.

Heisenberg helped you sit down on a tree stump. "Hmm, that bastard kicked you hard didn't it." Wait- "But that was a phenomenal punch you threw at it. Nearly made me burst out laughing."

"You were watching? Why the fuck didn't you come in before!"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see if you could really handle yourself- which you were pretty good at, but then you lost your gun and it was kinda an unfair match from there on." He pulled out some pills from his coat. "i was just passing by when I saw those lycans moving away. Thats when I pushed the tree which made snow sheet fall and you know the rest from there on."

Your eyes went wide. "You did that on purpose? What the shit, Heisenberg-?! Fuck." You doubled over in pain, clutching your ribs, heaving.

"Shh, stay still, kid. Here, take these. They'll help with the pain." You eyed the bottle before popping two in your mouth. Hey, if he wanted me dead, he wouldn't have saved me from the lycan. "I just wanted to see if you were worth the trouble, and as it turns out, you are."

"You didn't have to almost kill me to see that. And now I've lost my gun. And I don't have any money to buy a new one. I doubt Duke gives freebies." You huffed out.

Heisenberg rolled his eyes. "God, you sure do whine a lot. Here-" He dropped a tiny pouch in your lap. "There's some coins in there. That should be enough to buy you a new gun. And for fucks sake, get a gun with more rounds! You don't have time to be loading a gun mid battle." He huffed. "So, where are you going now?"

You rolled your head from side to side. "Well, I went to the Beneviento house. Didn't find Ethan or Rose there. Now, I'm going to the lake."

"The lake? Huh, well if you survived Donna, then Moreau should be a piece of cake. You got the map? Let me show you the short cut, it's not far from here." You gave him the map and he showed you the directions.

"Where are you going then?"

"Mother Miranda called. Don't worry, I'll keep our meeting a secret." He then nodded at you. "Alright, I'm off now."

"Wait!" Your voice stopped him. "I don't know when I'll see Duke again. And I don't have gun, so what if another pack of lycans come?"

Heisenberg slumped his shoulders as he let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine. I gotta do everything by myself." He dog whistled and one of the soldats stopped maiming the lycan and ran to Heisenberg. "From now on, you're gonna listen to her."The soldat looked at you and nodded. "If she tells you to kill, you kill. If she tells you to die, you die. Follow her around and keep her safe." The soldat nodded. Then Heisenberg turned to you. "He's already dead, so don't worry about throwing him in danger. Oh and also, just take him into the sun every once in a while so that his engine can recharge. You'll know when he needs the sun."

You were baffled. "Wait, Heisenberg- how the- what the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Figure it out, kid. Think of him as a guard dog."

You looked at the soldat then at Heisenberg's retreating form, then back at the soldat.

"So..." The soldat stared at you. "You got a name?"

"Handsome." You nodded to yourself as you trudged, using the soldat's arm to support yourself. "That's what I'm gonna call you. Handsome. What do you think?"

The soldat was wearing a metal contraption over its eyes, so you couldn't really tell what it was feeling.

"Well, you don't seem to have any complaints, so from now on, you'll respond to the name "Handsome". Do you understand?"

The soldat nodded.

You laughed. God, the pain meds were either making me stupid or everything else funnier.

You looked at the map again. Just a couple of more minutes and then a right turn. And then you should see the lake- god, this map was confusing as hell.

"So..." you wondered what you should ask the cyborg. Oh right. "You seen Ethan? Blonde man, crazy big eyes. Or a baby, Rose?" The man shook his head no.

Sigh. What else could I ask him? What about how did he die? No, what if that's triggering? I can't handle a Terminator right now. And I don't think I should ask him about his past or anything that'll cause him to have a existential crisis. Ah! I've got it!

"Hey, how do you see?"

The soldat looks down at you for a few seconds then points at his metal contraption.

Wait- is that sarcasm?

You scoff. "Of course, you see with your eyes! I meant, with the whole metal thingy covering them, how do you- oh, there's this vision specs in them."

You smiled. "Hey, you're kinda like Cyclops, yknow-" you were cut off as Handsome suddenly pushed you to the ground, turning on his drill.

"Wait, shit- you don't have to be Cyclops! We can talk this out-" but Handsome was focusing on something else, and that's when you saw it. Two lycans.

Handsome ran and easily maimed them to pieces, I mean, you had to look away from the horrific scene midway.

The soldat returned five minutes later, covered in blood. He extended his hand and you reluctantly took it, letting him support you as you began walking again, your heart still beating like crazy.

But you calmed down when you finally reached the lake, the setting sun gave serene feel to the entire reservoir. You inhaled deeply before looking at Handsome. "Lets go down there." You pointed at the lake.

You were both sitting at the wooden broadwalk, your legs hanging off the ledge. You looked at the water, it wasn't crystal clear, but you could see some fishes swimming around, so at least it wasn't dangerous to life. You looked at Handsome, then at his drill and you realised he was still covered in blood. "Lets get you cleaned up, hm?" You said, pulling out a rag from your bag and dipping it in the cold water below. You began with cleaning up his drill, then dipping the rag back in cold water and cleaning his chest and his other arm.

"Good job back there, Handsome."You smiled as Handsome nodded. "Heisenberg was right, you are kinda like a dog. Hmm, I wonder if..." You tested your theory as you petted him on the head. "Good job, Handsome!" But the soldat only tilted its head in confusion.

"Hmm, perhaps not." You cupped the cold water in your hands and washed your own face, You looked at your reflection in the water. "You wanna go for a swim? I don't mind." Handsome shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not a fan of swimming either."

Handsome stared at you. You scoffed. "Oh so you pretend you don't understand what I say, but you want to hear the story? Fine, but I'm only telling you because it might be important later."

You both stared at the water as you began your story. "Well, when I was 15, I had snuck out of the house to go to a party. It was at this rich girl's house and I knew she didn't like me, but I was surprised when she had invited me to her place. Yes, a red flag I should've seen from miles ago, but I was young and dumb and desperate to climb the highschool social hierarchy." You chuckled. "Anyways, long story short, one of the guys there pushed me into the pool because I don't know if they thought it was funny to see me drown? By some luck, I managed to grab onto the pool ledge and pull myself up. I immediately left the party, embarrassed and cold and on the verge of breaking down. Then on the way back home, there was this car following me and then some weirdo catcalled me and tried to get me in his car. Now, scared for my life because I watched a lot of Criminal Minds, I ran all the way home, praying that he leaves me alone. I think he stopped when he saw a Range Rover following him, but I don't know. I just rushed back home." You sighed. "You know what happened next? I bursted through the front door, slamming it shut and I turn around to see my dad in the living room, looking surprised to see me. He stood up and looked me up and down and then said, "Y/n? You're drenched completely. And you're messing up the floor. You know what? Mia's in the bathroom right now, why don't you go upstairs and I'll clean up here. You know how she gets when there's water on the wood." And I was just so shocked, that I didn't say anything and went back upstairs. Once I was in the shower, that's when I broke down crying. I almost drowned, almost got kidnapped and my father was worried about me messing up the wooden floor? Hell, he didn't even ask me why I was coming home at midnight." Your tears fell into the lake, making small ripples. You chuckled, "God, I always wondered how tired he must've been from work that day to ignore all these visible signs of distress. I always hated his job, you know? They made him work way too much." You looked at Handsome who was looking at the lake. "Anywho, now you know I can't swim so, save me if I fall into this lake, okay?" He nodded.

You guys sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a question popped up in your mind. "Handsome?" He turned his head towards you, only to see a mischievous smile on your face. "Are you seeing someone?" The man turned his back to the lake, making you laugh. "Ahh, so you like someone. Tell me, is it someone from the village?" The man further turned his head away from you in embarrassment. "Oh come on, tell me! Is it a girl?" He nodded reluctantly, making you punch his arm. "You dog! Does she know?" Handsome shook his head, making you smile. "Tell you what? As a payback for saving me back there, I'll help you get her. I'll be your wingman, Handsome, hm?" He nodded a bit enthusiastically.

"We all deserve good things, Handsome. No matter how we look, or what we are, these things don't really define one's self worth. Its our intentions, you know?" Handsome didn't know, but he nodded anyways.

"Good. Now, lets go check out this place. Keep an eye out for Ethan and Rose, okay?" You told him, not knowing someone was already watching the two of you.

So... thought?

What did you guys think about Handsome? I'm gonna post a pic of him soon if you guys want.

Part 5 is here.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[thepictureofsdr]

I don’t know if you have done this before, but… I want to hear all your thoughts about Alastair? I finished COI like yesterday and I need content.

okay anon I really hope you follow me and you see this bc this ask has been sitting here for months and ive thought about it every day bc you're literally getting my thesis (seriously send me an ask if you see this I feel so bad that it took so long)

im just gonna start from the beginning because this boy is so just absolutely incredible. he's so strong willed and persevering but also so kind and caring? like this boy gave up his childhood to protect his little sister and mum and has never asked for anything in return, he's never once complained or used it as leverage or anything bad at all. hes just one of those people who's good for the sake of being good, similar to him following Thomas to make sure he was safe. no one would've known had Thomas not been caught. we have no clue how much this kind boy has done out of the goodness of his heart because he never tells anyone and never asks for anything in return. he just wants to help people and make sure everyone around him is okay. he's genuinely empathetic and he's so good at understanding people and he puts the effort in and he's just filled with so much love???

and thats what makes the academy so much more painful. its not like he was a natural bully. think about his childhood, this the boy who played with cordelia and taught her to fight and later protected her from every bad thing in the world. this is the boy who when left to his own devices in Paris just wanders off to movies and museums and just wants to sit down with a book and talk about it with someone. so imagine how crushed by guilt he is? like he's probably carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders 24/7 because he cant move on and forgive himself for the academy. and its not even like he's a Gideon figure who had to learn to be kind after escaping a bad situation, he was always instinctually kind, which means he's been feeling guilt since the bullying began and it wasn't even a choice on his part, it was the only option he saw after a year of bullying and taunting and being physically beaten and his breaking point was the reputation of his baby sister being put at risk. its not like he wanted to do this or was raised to think it was right, he felt forced to do something he knew was wrong, to do something he never wanted to do and still hates himself for.

and the most painful part of it all is that he thinks thats him. he believes he's bad, he thinks he's this cruel bully who has to change and apologize and grow, he thinks he's this cracked mangled warped excuse for a human being when in reality he's still that kind person who empathizes with people and adores art. but he cant see that. and he continues to punish himself, and push people away, and convince himself he isn't worth anything. the second he's allowed to be himself, he returns to his natural state of love but he cant see that and sometimes I just wanna shove myself into the book and hug him and remind him that he's a genuinely good person and that he doesn't need to change because he never was and never will be the bad person he thinks he is he just has to learn how to live with freedom. theres something so beautiful about how he's been surrounded by hatred his whole life yet he hasn't really let it touch him. he's still willing to let people in through his hundreds of walls (for their sake, not because he thinks he deserves love, but because they need help) and he hasn't become some cynical pessimist, he still has love and hope and appreciation for the beauty around him and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

also I see a lot of people say he isn't caring or kind which is so? like yes he's snappish and blunt sometimes but kindness doesn't only exist in the form of cuddly and warm people, anyone can be caring no matter their disposition.

and I personally think he's one of the most tragic characters in this universe. because he's been alone the entire time. he has no friends, and the "friend group" everyone seems to think he has are the boys he aligned himself with out of desperation so they wouldn't topple his delicate family or beat him to bruises everyday. his father was 90% of his problems, his mother was emotionally absent, and you cant have a camaraderie with the person you're trying to protect, its not like he could confide in cordelia when the things he needed to talk about were the things he wanted to keep from her. and then we add on his one relationship which was toxic to the point of genuine trauma. he's had absolutely no support system for every single hard part of his life. he hasn't had a single person be there for him just for the sake of caring for him. he's had to face his alcoholic father, his bullying, his abuse, becoming a bully and despising the person he sees in the mirror, he's had to face every single hardship alone. he's had to stay afloat with no life raft, no hand of help, absolutely nothing. he had one stable friendship, Thomas, and that ended in tears IN PUBLIC (thanks for that one Matthew)

and even after all the effort he's put in to show progress and show change he's turned away time after time, being told that his apologies are worthless and his progress means nothing. and what does he do with that? he keeps trying. he continues to improve himself, continues to do good because that just who he is. he's someone who wants good.

I also dont think we talk enough about he's never experienced healthy love??? like can someone please help this boy? abusive father, absent mother = no idea what healthy parents look like. took over as a parental figure = no idea what a healthy sibling relationship looks like. parents had an extremely unhealthy marriage = no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. constantly moved around and was bullied at the academy = no idea what a healthy friendship looks like. also he probably had to leave so many potential close relationships every time they moved he's only just beginning to experience permanence. this poor boy has never experienced unconditional unselfish love in his life. he has no idea what its like to be able to depend on someone, he has no idea what its like to be loved for existing, no idea what its like to receive without expectation of return. he literally doesn't know what its like to be loved how fucking sad is that. he's never had someone be there for him and care and love him and want him to be happy LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???

every single person in this universe of books has had SOMEONE, a lover, a parabatai, a parent, literally at least one figure of reliability and affection and alastair is just out here braving one of the most tragic lives ive ever read ALONE.

but the fact that he's healing and he's dyed his hair back and broke off contact with ch*rles and began to confide in cordelia and actually had coherent emotional conversation with Thomas?? he's slowly moving on and healing and im so proud of him because he's so strong and he hasn't let any of the literal trauma mill events of his life break him or turn him into someone cruel and spiteful god he's just so GOOD. also the parents are gonna fucking love him I just know it will is gonna drag him into book debates and Gideon is gonna resurrect Elias so he can kill the bastard himself its gonna be great. also alastair is gonna be besties with lucie and Christopher just calling it now.

and I just wanna add in how smart he is?? like he's fluent in multiple languages, well read and written in them as well, he has opinions on high art and watches movies and reads the newspaper and brings a book with him everywhere and he plays the piano and he sings and he's interested in true crime and he's well educated and he understands / gets involved in politics and he's a good fighter and he's good with runes and he understands emotions and seems to have a basic understanding of psychology and he's interested in science LIKE WHAT CANT HE DO??!! also Im just in the mood to hype my boy up lets not forget that he's attractive and elegant and even Matthew of all people complimented his eyebrows.

im honestly not sure how to wrap this up and if I remember I have more to say I WILL come back and edit it, this is just all I can think of for the moment. in conclusion I love this boy so fucking much he is my WORLD and im sorry if this is too much but you said all and I adore him to the world and back and thank you for prompting me to ramble this literally took half an hour

[youranxiousnerd]

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug 

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?! 

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH” 

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do. 

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears 

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home. 

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people. 

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej? 

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?” 

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug 

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro” 

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

 “and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb 

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU 

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?” 

they’re so nervous 

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right 

“Yeah” 

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke. 

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god 

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran 

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime, books, movies or tv series)? Thanks....

Holy shit that is such a tough question haha. I was really like trying to remember all the stuff I've read and watched ever and my brain short circuted for a moment lol this is in no particular order and from original sources (no offense to any adaptations, even if I like them).

Richard Cypher (I mean Terry Goodkind's 12+4 books), Cara (/Kara, also from there), Wu Xie (DMBJ), Zhang Qiling (DMBJ), Lan Zhan (MDZS), Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Akashi Seijuro (KNB), Natsume Takashi (Natsume Yuujinchou), Haruka Nanase (Free!), Steve Rogers (you know that one xD).

Fun fact, not to be dramatic or anything, but I really want to say special thanks for Richard & Wu Xie. The way they go about life in general and their incredible trait of finding ways out of seemingly impossible situations without falling into depression and genuinely finding joy in tiny things in some godforsaken ugly ass situations, their adventures and way of thinking got me through some of the toughest shit of my short but hella weird life. Like I've been raised good ofc and got exteremely lucky with my family and I'm saying it without trying to make anyone go like "oh poor you" (I mean you know I never share anything here, I genuinely feel like that won't help anyone really, nor me focusing on that also here, nor anyone with their own problems reading this, thats why I just take breaks and come back when I can), but things of last years like... packing medical document while there's blood everywhere cause my elder sister almost cut off her tongue and dad is in shock, mom in the hospital with internal stomach bleeding, my weird spine operation where doctors for some reason refused to even answer what it was, camping in the hospital while little sister close to diabetic coma at age of 5, putting my cat to sleep bc of the painful neck cancer, grandpa dying twice in one day, finding weird bump in my chest and for 2 months of awful tests thinking "oh hell that might be it" fairly recently... etc lol (I'm not even counting like "world things" here).

I would go down if it wasn't for their way of thinking 😂. Like if I had other mentality, not enough brains and humor sometimes too and went wrong ways about these things, I would drown istg.

It's mostly from them I got all the whining and pitying yourself isn't an option, don't focus on the bad no matter how bad it is find a solution instead, always be happy about you have right now, don't blame anything on others and don't think anyone owes you anything, the first person who can help you is you, those who love you most important what others think doesn't matter, no matter how bad it is move your butt, idiots be idiots move on (esp thoughts of 6th SOT book and Restart is what keeps me breathing when I genuinely think that I won't be able to survive the pure idiocity of the crowd and be like its okay), if you truly can't change anything and did everything possible then just adapt to that and learn how to thrive with what you got etc.

Richard was there for me for a while (like 7 years or smth I think), Wu Xie came recently (but already been tremendous help to me haha). I just think if if wasn't for these series, I'd for sure be sitting somewhere pitying myself about how "life is unfair" instead of being happy. And thats a gift really.

I know half of it coming from the fact that there were times my family didn't have much, so its probably why I can be so happy with so little, but finding positivite things in some complete ass is for sure coming from these guys haha. I remember first time Richard pulled off this thing with anderith ppl my jaw was literally on the floor, I was so impressed with this book, I really was like "I wanna be like that" lmao. It was like... stripped of fucking everything, forced to be surrounded by most idiotic brain-washed haters (they were also extra religious.. which is a special pain for a person like me), separated from the dying and suffering love of your life, just the whole absolute horrid of the whole situation (I can't even describe it, but Istg it was painful to read for me, I was so pissed, I was reading like " jfc how is he even gathering himself? I wouldn't be able to handle even 2 mins of that"), but he not only fucking found ways without even teeny tiny histeric, he managed to come out a fucking winner too. I'm still to this day don't think any character ever shook me like that. And I've read and watched TOO much stuff.

I mean, with recent events also, last weeks I don't even wanna start on what we did and what happened and what ppl around me got like about many things. If it wasn't for Wu Xie's life motto I'd be along with many into the pit of "why", instead of actually you know.. doing things you gotta do. So they hold a special place in my heart in their own way, where you go like "oh damn this fiction character changed my life" not just cause they're your type and certain traits that attract you, you know lmao ;)

[stop-weighting-for-change]

UPDATE 8

Wow! So it’s been almost 2 years (like literally almost to the day) since I posted "Update 1″, and boy oh boy did a lot of shit happen.

- I went back to work - I never got that internship that woulda changed my life (oh well) - I’ve gotten to travel way more than I woulda thought possible 2 years ago (not the traveling itself, I love to travel and have access/ability to but moreso in terms of the pandemic/state of the world) - I still don’t have a great grasp on my depression. I know I have it. I know. And its definitely a rollercoaster but shit triggers me and idk what to do ya know? I end up feeling like a zombie. - I almost got my dream job. But didn’t. When I say dream job, I mean I have literally been dreaming about it since I was 12 or 13 years old. I reapplied when a reopening was posted but I think I’m just not meant to be. Like that scene in La La Land (god I love La La Land, like its my favorite movie of all time kinda love) when Mia is explaining that maybe her dreams will never pan out bc maybe shes not good enough? Or maybe she’s just one of those (many) people who has always wanted something but its just a pipe dream that needs to be moved on from. Its not like thats what I want, but its whats realistic and you cant be disappointed if your expectation is disappointment, ya know? - My sister moved out and I’m really happy for her but things seem to be happening for her and other people and it feels like everyone around me and I’m just stuck??? I’m not sure theres a better way for me to explain it other than that. Its no ones fault, but everyday of my adult like theres this slight, nagging feeling that my life is simply one long series of unfortunate events. And yes, good things are woven in and its not like everyday is some big, unbearable catastrophe but some days definitely are. I really don’t know how else to explain it. I think its beyond depression. I’d never hurt myself or someone else but I had this shit realization the other day that I don’t remember the last time I was like really, truly, unbelievably happy (not just with one thing, or day, or event) but like GENUINELY happy in life. And I don’t know that I ever will be again. Idk I sound so shitty rn. - I hate my job but love the people. I also have no other options in life it feels like. WHAT DO I DO?!

Anyways the absolute lunacy of the bullets above, I’m trying to move on in/through life as well as possible. And I wanna become better. In all facets. I gained a lot weight back. Which makes me angry and disappointed. My highest ever was 197 and the other day I was 195 again. Again. Can you believe that shit? My family while I love them are bad influences and have been for a really, really long time. I feel like I just give in bc 1) their expectation is that I’m fat and thats never gonna change so who are you kidding and 2) were all doing it (eating and being fat) so who cares? and 3) its like they think im judging them or being unfair to them when I wanna better myself. Idk. Its not intentionally malicious but the consequences feel dire.

SO ANYWAYS!!!!!!!! God I need to learn to shut up. I’ve lost 3lbs in the last week and back to 192. Slowly making progress but FOR REAL THIS TIME. And I know I said that last time, but circumstances are different and theres no more excuses.

On that note I’m gonna go to Safeway rn and go buy some fruit bc I’m hungry and if I wanna eat thats what I’m gonna let myself eat. I know I shouldnt starve but also eating like a piggly wiggly has so far gotten me no where.

I’m gonna end this here. This is therapeutic for reezie and I feel better just reflecting on this insane rambly episode I’ve just had. Yall pray for me for reezie and I shall be doing the same. LETS STOP WEIGHTING FOR CHANGE YALL!

P.S. My cat keeps walking across my chest and around the room yapping to be let out but I don’t get why he doesn’t get that I love him too much and I wanna be around him 24/7 bc he makes me feel better. But also he’s a cat and a dummy at that so I guess I should be happy he spends any time indulging me at all.

P.P.S. I, like the rest of the world, am in the middle of a Stranger Things Binge and volume 2 of ST4 was released today. V1 was released at the end of May but I waited til now to watch bc I wanted to rewatch and I wanted to be able watch all of ST4 at once and not have to wait which was deff the right call. I started V1 yesterday and finished it this morning and am now on ep 8 of 9 and idk WHAT I woulda done if I woulda had to wait a month to continue, like fuckkkkk that lmao. But anywho I’m gonna continue but I want some fruit to have so I’m gonna finish the other half of ep 8 and then ep 9 when I get back from the store (also holy shit ep 9 is apparently 150 mins???? thats 2 and 1/2 hours thats a fucking movie bro!!!!) but yeah. I’m lowkey stressed to finish it though bc 1) i lowkey dont like this whole steve/nancy plot. I know a lot of ppl do but I really like her w jonathan so yeah. and 2) I’m scared Eddie will die. He’s a really great character and I think hes really cute and its not fair that the worst has been assumed of him. I relate to that. I know some major character is expected to die in these final two eps and I really hope its not him, but also I really hope they were just lying to us bc I literally dont want anyone to die. I mean mike is prob my least fav but still i love mike and dont want him to die. also theres no way in hell theyd ever kill off finn wolfhard so thats an unrealistic expectation anyway. So heres to eddie, steve, and all those mfers bc I really do love this show and these crazy ass characters. But most of all, to my fav character, erica. BC YA CAN’T SPELL AMERICA WITHOUT ERICA BITCHHHH.

[maccreadysimp]

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant