#if you warn about attempted assault against a woman you should also do it for one of the men later

[baronessofmischief]

Rebel Moon on Netflix is sooooooo soso bad guys 😂 like at least there’s space Charlie Hunnam with a Scottish accent and sometimes the main character has a flashback where she has a better haircut AND there’s a sibling duo who have the best costumes in the movie but the story? The script? The movie structure? Cohesiveness? Absolutely terrible. And there’s still 45 minutes left

[desert-fern]

A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Epilogue - Like Real People Do

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

Picture is from Pinterest AKA not mine

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: probably very inaccurate court proceedings, swearing, mentions of scars, Bear being a badass, sort of victim blaming (not really, but maybe), soft and sweet, author makes up for being an asshole for most of the series…

Word Count: 5.4k

Part 24 >> Masterlist

A/N: big thanks to @sarahsmi13s for helping me with the legal babble/criminal justice parts of this fic! You were a huge help for figuring out the details and made this part just that much sweeter!

===

A year later, 365 days after the catastrophe that had been Operation Hellfire, the five Seals involved in the treasonous attack against Bear had gone to trial and the verdict was due any minute. Former Lieutenants Colton ‘Hazard’ Richards, Michael ‘Dex’ Lewis, Jackson ‘Dodger’ Cartwright, Andrew ‘Gallows’ Stevenson, and Grant ‘Chip’ Harding all stood trial together, four of the five pleading not guilty to the charges leveled against them. 

Only Chip had cut a deal with the prosecution. He chose to testify against Hazard and the others and in exchange, he was dealt a sentence of five years at Leavenworth with a chance at parole for his minimal part in the terrorist plot hatched by the other men. He had also leveled charges of blackmail and assault against Hazard, the court finding the latter guilty on both counts. 

Several other members of Bear’s team and a few of the Dagger Squadron had also testified as witnesses for the prosecution; each sharing their experiences with what the media were now calling the ‘Team 3 Traitors’. 

Bear’s own testimony had lasted a few days as she shared her story to the grand jury, detailing her account of what had been done to her as a result of Hazard’s plotting. She denied and denounced any attempt made by the defense to try and undermine her, standing strong on the witness stand as a lawyer repeatedly tried to discredit her. She hardly remembered those days, but the media did. 

A quote of hers, “With all due respect, Mr. Harmen, I believe I know what happened to me far more vividly than your files detailed. You do not get to try for ‘reasonable doubt’ when I will wear the scars of my torture for the rest of my life,” had gone viral. She hadn’t gone searching but apparently Jake’s sister had started sending TikTok edits of the trial to him and a few had made her laugh way harder than she should have. Leave it to the observer to ridicule the men who tried and failed to take her down. 

What the media and those TikToks hadn’t seen however, was the way her hands shook on her lap with every word she spoke. No one saw the fear in her eyes as she sat across from the men who had orchestrated this plot against both her and the US Navy as an institution, and how could they? Bear had stuffed it deep down where it couldn’t be seen, but there were moments where Jake had seen it. Moments where her voice shook. 

But in the weeks this case had been in court, Bear had sat diligently behind the prosecution in her dress blues, her medals proudly on display. Among them, her Purple Heart that had been presented to her not days before the trial. She looked the very picture of a war hero. She had refused to cower, her hand held tightly by Jake’s own. He too, had testified, detailing his own experiences and his involvement in rooting out the traitors among those on the mission. 

Today though, today was different. Bear knew that Flare, like Chip, had brought down charges of stalking, blackmail, as well as assault and battery against Hazard before this trial had begun. Meaning that even if this jury found him not guilty, he would at least be spending some time in prison. 

As the court reconvened after three long days of deliberations, Bear’s heart was in her throat. This was it, the moment of truth. She would know in a few short minutes if she could rest easy or if she had to be worried for the rest of her life. She could feel the glare that Hazard’s mother was throwing her way, hell she had weathered insults from the wives and parents of her former Seal Team members. That would be nothing compared to their reactions if the verdict came back as guilty. “Has the jury reached a verdict?” 

“Yes your Honor.” A short Black man stood, holding an envelope in hand. It was brought up to the judge, who opened it and read it silently. 

“For the two counts of attempted murder, how do you find the defendants?” 

“We the jury, find the defendants guilty.” 

Bear nearly sunk to the floor as emotion overwhelmed her, but she forced herself to remain seated, listening intently. The rest of the charges were read off: conspiracy to commit murder, destruction of government property, domestic terrorism, and espionage.

The jury found the defendants, Hazard, Dex, Dodger, and Gallows guilty of all of them. “And lastly,” Judge Davies said, “For the crime of terrorism, how do you find the defendants?” 

The world seemed to slow to a crawl. Bear held her breath, clutching Jake and FAK’s hands tightly as the foreperson spoke. “We the jury…” Silently, Bear sent up a prayer, begging for them to be found guilty. Hoping that they would pay for what they had done, that they would rot in a cell, but unlike her, they stood no chance at freedom. It was the least they deserved. “…find the defendants guilty.” 

The room exploded in a cacophony of sound; protests from the opposite side of the courtroom, shouts of victory from the Seals, and words of congratulations from the prosecution to one another filling the room. Reporters began shouting over one another, camera shutters clicked and lights flashed, adding to the wave of noise that rolled around the room. 

Bear let herself collapse back into her seat, hands coming up to cover her face as she sobbed in relief. The fear and apprehension that had lived inside her everyday since she had confronted Hazard began to overflow as she cried. It would all be okay. How could it not be? These four men, the men who had blackmailed Flare and Chip, the men who had begun working with terrorists and who had orchestrated her capture and torture, all of them were going to spend the rest of their lives in jail. 

That thought made Bear sit up and wipe her face, sniffling as she did so. She had to show her strength and as she stood, she could feel the hands of her team on her back and shoulders, all of them showing their undeniable support for their Commander. 

Jake had gone to shake the hands of the prosecution, their conversation unintelligible over the din and Bear took a moment to let her eyes trail over him, over the sharp angles of him in his own blues. His shoulders looked broader, the cut of this jacket, while the same as hers, made what little blue he had in his eyes stand out. He looked beautiful. How she had managed to keep him in her life, she didn’t know, but ever since their reunion a year ago, Jake had practically moved in and was staying at her home. 

No one else had been made aware, as far as everyone knew, Bear and Jake were still figuring everything out. They didn’t know about him living with her, and Jake knew for a fact that Bear didn’t know about the ring currently burning a hole in his pocket. He had waited eight months after moving in to buy the ring, and it had been almost four since he walked out of the store with a little box in his pocket. He just hadn’t found the right time. 

Maybe today was the day. 

The bang of the gavel quieted the room quickly. “Order in the courtroom! This court finds the defendants, Colton ‘Hazard’ Richards, Michael ‘Dex’ Lewis, Jackson ‘Dodger’ Cartwright, and Andrew ‘Gallows’ Stevenson guilty on all charges. Due to the precedent for these crimes, Mr’s. Richards, Lewis, Cartwright, and Stevenson are sentenced to life in prison at Guantanamo Bay.”

Shrike bumped Bear’s arm. “I’ve got friends there. They’ll be looked after.” The sharp grin on her face implied anything but, but Bear couldn’t find it within her to care. Not when Hazard was finally paying for all his crimes.

She composed herself and stepped up to the prosecution’s team, next to Jake, shaking their hands. “Thank you, for everything,” she said tearfully. “Your work will not be forgotten.” 

“Neither will your testimony, Commander.” 

Jake watched Bear draw a shuddering breath as she nodded. “Thank you,” her voice was soft, barely audible over the angry shouts from the families of the now guilty. “I will be forever grateful to you all.” 

“Extend some of that to yourself,” James told her. “You were the cornerstone of the entire case, so thank you. You made sure they wouldn’t walk free, we just did the legal speak.” 

Those who heard him, laughed and Jake grinned when Bear cracked a smile. It was a bright beam of grin, one that grew wider the longer she talked with the lawyers. But good things only lasted so long because as Bear turned around, a woman came racing up to them, yelling obscenities. “You FUCKING BITCH!” 

Bear stepped back, her hands raised. “I’m sure you’re right, ma’am, but I’m going to need a little more clarification as to why I’m a bitch in this particular moment.” 

Jake had to turn away to hide his snort of laughter and it seemed to him that the Seals nearby were all in the same boat. 

“My son did nothing wrong! You villainized him for no particular reason all because you KNEW that he was better qualified for your position!” Bear regarded her calmly. She knew Hazard’s mother was convinced of her son’s innocence, hell, she had nearly been called as a character witness before the judge shut that down. “You cheated him out of a job that should have been his! You faked all of this!” 

“Mrs. Richards,” Bear said in a cool tone. She had drawn herself up, standing tall like there was a steel rod straight through her spine. This woman would never believe that her son was guilty, nothing Bear could say would convince her of that. “I am well aware of your delusion that your son is innocent, but I have to disagree,” she began in a steady voice. She had begun unbuttoning her jacket, each gold button sliding out of its place smoothly. “If your son were truly innocent and I were faking my torture, then why would I have these?” 

Bear lifted up her shirt, displaying the scars that ran across her lower stomach. Hazard’s mother gasped, cringing at the sight. But Bear wasn’t done. “You may maintain your son’s innocence all you like, but nothing will change the fact that your son is the reason I will wear these scars for the rest of my life.” She dropped her shirt, tucking it back into her pants and began rebuttoning her jacket. 

His mother opened her mouth to say something, but Jake cut her off and in a tone so cold, the temperature dropped, he spoke “Ma’am, I would recommend you retake your seat so you can say your goodbyes to your son. Otherwise, I believe that no one will blame your son’s former Commander when she smacks some sense into you.” 

The woman before Bear stammered and stuttered, unsure of how to reply. All Bear did was snap her fingers and the Seals behind her stomped a foot on the ground in unison, snapping to attention. The suddenness of the movement startled most of the courtroom and the stare leveled at Mrs. Richards had her slinking back to her spot next to her family. Bear turned back to Jake and nodded at him, the look in her eyes darkening for a completely different reason now, and Jake felt his dress pants tighten from the heat in her brown eyes. 

“Fuck,” he thought. “This is a shitty time for this.” But he couldn’t really help himself, Bear had done what she had done and she had done it proudly. Sue him. “We should leave,” he whispered, his gaze darting between the woman he loved and the media personnel filing out of the courtroom. “Don’t want to get caught in the media storm outside.” 

Bear nodded, a faint smirk rising to her lips, but she said nothing. Instead, she straightened her uniform blues, watched the prosecution file out ahead of her and then she followed immediately afterwards. The flashing cameras and shouting reporters chased her, Jake, and the lawyers out of the building, snapping pictures the whole time. 

No one said a thing. Not the prosecution lawyers, not Bear or her Seals, Jake and the Daggers remained silent as well. No one wanted to be the one quoted as saying something after this trial, the Navy had yet to comment and they all knew that whatever the organization had to say would be the end-all, be-all. No room for arguing, debating, or the like. 

She and Jake made it to his truck, Rooster and Bob cramming into the back seats. Bear felt Rooster’s hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Proud of you, Bear,” he said quietly. He had grown to see that whatever connection that existed between Jake and Bear was more than just the trauma that they shared. As far as he knew, neither one had acted on the obvious feelings that were always thick in the air whenever they were around one another. “You got them.” 

Bear nodded, placing her hand over his. “Thank you,” her voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you both.” She would thank each and every one of her Seals when the time came, but right now, both Bob and Rooster had to know how much their own testimony meant to her. “I couldn’t have done it all without you.” 

A small chuckle came from Bob. “Pretty sure you could do anything you set your mind to, Bear, but you’re so welcome.” Those were the only words he said to her as he slipped out of the truck in front of his house, tapping the driver’s window in thanks. 

Rooster was next, clambering out of the cab awkwardly. “Have a good night, Bear. If you need anything, call me.” He was serious, she could see it in his eyes. “Promise me.” 

She smiled at him, nodding. “I promise that if I can’t get through to this lug, I’ll call you if I need anything.” 

“Good.” The truck door slammed shut, making both her and Jake jump, as they watched Rooster run up his front steps as the door swung open for him. A quick wave at the truck was the only indication of his goodbye before he disappeared inside. 

Jake and Bear drove home in comfortable silence, the radio softly playing some old country song that Bear didn’t recognize. The second Rooster had gone inside, Jake’s hand had moved to its usual place on her thigh, giving it a squeeze. “It’s finally over,” Bear breathed in disbelief as she walked in the front door. “Jake, honey, it’s all over.” 

Bear pulled her hair from its bun, groaning softly at the feeling when she ran her fingers through it. She hated having her hair up that tight, preferring a ponytail or a claw clip to keep it out of her face when she wasn’t in uniform. It just made sense.

Distractedly, she undid her boots, placing them in the coat closet, not paying attention to Jake behind her. 

The late afternoon shone through the windows, casting both Bear and himself in a wreath of golden sunlight. From here, Bear seemed softer, the near permanent furrow in her brow relaxing and smoothing itself away into her skin. The firmness that she carried herself with, the so-called stick up her ass, had lessened as she seemed to transform under Jake’s adoring gaze.

His heart clenched almost painfully in his chest, the guards she let down around him nearly sending him over the edge and Jake found himself struck by the startling need to keep this woman in his life. He’d found his moment, if the way his heart beat as he tracked her movements with the same intensity she had analyzed him with years ago. Everything in him was screaming at him that this was his chance to drop to one knee, to put that ring around her finger and anchor every part of him, his name, his soul, to the incredible woman that she already was.

His mama did say that when it was right, he would know. And who would Jake be if he didn’t listen to his mama? 

“We can sleep easier now, and you didn’t hear Shrike, but apparently she has a friend at Gua- Jake?” Bear cut herself off mid-ramble to find Jake on one knee before her, a small velvet box in hand. “Flyboy… what?” Tears welled in her eyes at the sight, a shaky hand coming up to cover her mouth in shock. 

“Teddy…” Jake’s voice was soft, eyes cataloging every expression that flitted over her face. “I started off my attempt at telling you I loved you by becoming a shaky, rambling mess, and it’s only fitting that I’m here now, the exact same way.” 

He let out a breathy laugh, trying to find his next words. “When we met, I was the cocky asshole that you shot down in less than 10 words and I just walked away because I had a feeling that if I didn’t, I would lose something incredible. I ended up being right. You drove me crazy over the next few weeks, constantly on my mind with your snarky comments and the way you made me work for every second of your time. I don’t think I knew I fell in love with you until I thought you were gone. I gave you my heart without knowing I had yours and I’m making this up on the spot right now so I really don’t know where I was going with this.

“I love you, my gorgeous girl and I can only hope that you love me as much as I love you otherwise this will be very awkward in a little bit.” Jake’s hands were shaking, he was sweating under Bear’s teary gaze and he could feel his cheeks flushing from his nerves. God he hoped she’d say yes. “So I guess the only thing left to do is ask. Teddy, would you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” 

The foyer was silent as Bear stared at him with wide eyes. She had been hoping for this for a while, wishing desperately that she had a way to keep Jake with her forever. Every part of her had fought for him, had fought for herself so that she could see his face again. Now though, as Jake knelt on the wooden floor of their home, Bear felt everything click into place and it felt like sunshine had been poured into her veins, warming her. 

She loved him, had loved him in silence since before they had deployed. Hell, she was pretty sure that it had taken his crash for the last threads to find their place because every action she had taken after that had been done with love for the man before her. “Jake…” she breathed, taking a cautious step towards him like she was afraid he would disappear if she moved too quickly. 

Jake held his breath, begging whoever was listening that Bear accepted his proposal. God. He had proposed and she still hadn’t said a thing. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this, was he even ready for this? He’d ruined this by asking. They hadn’t even had a full conversation about marriage yet. He fucked this up. Of course he had. 

He felt a palm press against his cheek, chasing his panicking thoughts away. “Did you hear me Flyboy?” Bear said, laughing lightly through her tears. “I said yes.” 

“You did?!” Jake couldn’t keep his outburst from slipping out, making Bear laugh. “You said yes?” His next question was shyer, almost like he couldn’t believe it. 

“Ask me again and find out.” 

Jake took a deep breath, opening the ring box as he did. “Will you marry me?” 

“Yes.” 

The universe seemed to align upon her acceptance, stars falling into place and lighting up the world around them. He fumbled with the ring, slipping onto her finger before tossing the box behind him and kissing her deeply. Bear gasped against his mouth, surprised by the sudden intensity behind it. Jake pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. “Would you believe me if I said I had been planning that for weeks?” 

“Proposing, or the speech?” Bear teased softly, playing with the short hairs at the nap of his neck. 

Jake sighed, shaking his head, but even he couldn’t keep the wide smile off his face. He drew Bear’s left hand away from the back of his neck, kissing the palm gently before turning it over and running a thumb over the ring he had only just given her. The ring itself was a simple gold band adorned with round-cut diamonds arranged to look like a flower; it had screamed Bear the moment he saw it. “Either or,” came his soft reply. 

Bear tilted his chin up to look him in the eyes and was stunned into silence at the love that seemed to shine from Jake’s green eyes. “No,” she told him, running a thumb along his jaw. “But it was from you and I was always going to say yes. If you ever had plans to ask me, that is.” 

He said nothing, dipping his head back down and capturing her lips with his own. This kiss was in sharp contrast to the pure passion that had filled his earlier kiss. It was soft where the other had been fierce; Jake was content to stand there for the rest of his life, kissing the woman he loved. The woman he would marry. 

This time, Bear broke the kiss, pecking him one more time before stepping away. She held her hand up, watching the stones sparkle in the late afternoon light and it brought a smile to her lips. “You did good, Flyboy.” 

“Yeah?” Jake took a step closer, pride radiating out of him. He picked a good one and it was like his concerns had been completely wiped away. Bear had said yes, she loved the ring, and he felt unstoppable. Like he was gliding through the air in his F-18, nothing tethering him to the ground. 

Only now, he did have a tether to the ground, a reason to fight harder than he had ever fought before. She was standing in front of him, eyeing him like he was the only thing she had ever wanted. He felt the weight of that settle in his heart, but unlike the fear of her rejection, this weight was different. It made him feel like he had both protected himself while tearing himself bare and wide open. “It just seemed like something you’d wear, if you ever wore jewelry.”

Bear met his gaze and rolled her eyes, but he knew that it was done with love. It was the only way Jake could describe the way she looked at him. He’d seen it before, in the early days where Bear seemed to doubt his own love for her, but when he wasn’t looking, that’s when he’d feel it. “You’re such a goof,” she told him, moving towards the stairs. “But you’re soon-to-be Mr. Goof, so I guess I can love it like I love you.” 

Jake watched her ascend the stairs, gaping at her. “Now who’s the sap?” He yelled up the stairs as he tugged his boots off in a hurry and raced towards her bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

“Still you. You’re always the sap.” 

=== 

Flare didn’t know why Shrike called her and told her to meet at her place nor did she know why they, a few of their colleagues, and the Daggers showed up outside Bear’s house 30 minutes later. 

All she knew was relief. 

Her charges against Hazard had stuck and she had been cleared of any wrongdoing given the intensity of her predicament. That, and Bear had gone to the mat for her, refusing to give up Flare in return for another person who couldn’t do her job half as well. She had been demoted however; losing her position as a Lieutenant Commander and dropped down to a Lieutenant while also dropping a few clearance levels as the Navy conducted an internal investigation. 

That was a headache for later though. 

Now she and the others stood outside Bear’s front door, Fireball having rung the bell and she waited curiously. She heard Fanboy whisper to Phoenix “Is that Jake’s truck?” 

“I think s-“ the door swung open, revealing Bear, clad only in a large, wrinkled black t-shirt. Her hair was a mess, sticking to her face, and if you looked closely, you’d find a bite mark or two along the collar of the shirt that kept sliding down. 

“Can I help you?” She asked, leaning on the doorframe, the edge of the door being held in her left hand. “You could have just texted.” 

“We did,” Fanboy replied with a shrug. “But you didn’t answer.” 

Bear narrowed her eyes. “So all 13 of you just decided to show up at my front door? At fucking 10 pm on a random Thursday?” 

Phoenix gave her a strange look. “Well initially we wanted to all get together to celebrate the win, but clearly you’re celebrating in your own way,” the smirk was audible in her tone and it matched the look that had emerged as she took in Bear’s appearance. 

“I was,” Bear replied coolly, but the blush on her face was hard to hide. “But a few people on my doorstep changed all of that real quick.” 

A voice from near the back of the group had Bear’s head snapping over. “Was there a reason you taught the pilots proper weapons techniques?” 

“Because no one ever asked. And why the hell would I teach them the wrong thing?” She just looked confused at the mere suggestion of improper weapons handling. “Can we just meet up tomorrow? I was in the mid-“ 

“What’s taking so long?” A voice yelled down the stairs, just audible for the team to hear it. 

Bear’s jaw twitched and she looked annoyed. “Give me a second!” She yelled back into the house, turning and stepping inside for half a moment, forgetting that her ring was still on her finger. 

“Bear…” Rooster began. “What’s that on your hand?” 

“What does it look like?” 

A chorus of gasps sounded and everyone immediately started yelling over one another, choosing to ignore the fact that it was 10:30 on a weeknight. “YOU’RE ENGAGED?!” 

Bear groaned, running her hand over her face. “Yes, I am. No that it’s any of your business.” 

“When were you going to tell us?” Bug gasped, reaching for her hand. “Were you just going to hide this from us?” 

“I would have kept it between me and my fiancé for as long as I could have, because this only just happened.” 

Bug blinked in surprise. “He proposed tonight?” 

Bear nodded, her eyes glancing down to her hand, smiling softly at the blue stones. “He did. We got home and he was on one knee. Caught me completely by surprise.” 

The fondness in her tone made the gathered Navy members look at her with their own grins. “So when do we meet the lucky man?” 

She went to reply but the creaking of her stairs had her pausing. “Teddy? What’s going on? Is it another chatty Amazon driver?” Jake’s voice came closer and closer, finally stopping behind Bear. His large hands came to span her hips, burying his face in her neck. The warmth from his bare chest soaked through her stolen shirt, making butterflies erupt in her stomach. “Guess not.” 

The team before them stood in complete silence. A few had had their suspicions about the two of them being together, but no one had any proof. Now though, the proof was staring them in the face. Jake had wrapped himself around Bear like he’d been doing so forever and Bear, always in charge, stoic, and firm, was bright pink as she tried to fight the urge to turn and kiss the man behind her. 

Once again, the explosion of noise hit her hard. The pilots yelling at Jake for not telling them, the Seals yelling at Bear, spouses and partners just yelling in general and it became too much very quickly. She turned into Jake, hiding her face in his shoulder, her ringed hand clutching his arm. 

He lifted his head, glancing down at Bear, who’d curled into him. “Okay guys, we can talk about this later. 

“But…” 

“No.” Jake’s voice was firm as he took in his teammates staring at him like he grew another head. “I just put the damn ring on her finger, give me at least 24 hours alone with her as my fiancee before you start hounding her.” 

His eyes met Reaper’s who gave him a nod. “You did good,” she mouthed, and if Jake got a little teary-eyed as he looked down at Bear where he was still holding her, no one would judge him. 

Strangely enough, it was Rooster that caught Jake’s eye next. There was a moment of understanding in his wingman’s eyes, a sort of approval shining bright in them. “Congrats man, happy for you.” 

Jake merely nodded, choosing to press a kiss to the top of Bear’s head rather than reply. Just standing here, Bear in his arms, watching his team catalog every gesture, every movement that he made, filled his heart with so much joy. 

If he had been asked nearly two years ago what he wanted from his life, he would have shrugged the question off, preferring a non-answer to revealing the heart that yearned for more than he had. Two years ago, his life changed when he was challenged by the woman he would soon call his wife. Two years ago, Jake knew nothing of love. Now though, he knew how bright his life could be. He knew the warmth that love could bring his spirit, and best of all, he knew that he was worth it. 

For Bear, clad in Jake’s - her fiance’s - shirt, wrapped in his arms as she stood in front of her friends, it was in such contrast to everything she had known before. Sure, back in Riyadh, she had toyed with the idea of forever. Playing with it, spinning the threads of this blossoming relationship into something more, if only to have as a thought. That ‘something more’ was this. Joy, endless support, someone who understood her, and love. Pure, simple, boundless love that was shared. 

And now as Jake shooed their friends away making promises to see them soon, Bear knew that she had found everything she had ever wanted. One random night, at a random time, had changed everything she had hoped for in her life. Tonight, standing in her home with Jake, wearing the ring he had given her when he had asked if she would spend the rest of her life with him, this was it. Her career had filled her life, now she was ready to share that life with someone who understood her pain, her sacrifice. 

“I love you,” Jake said softly, freeing her from her reverie. “More than you could ever know.” She looked up, seeing his eyes shine with unshed tears.  

“Careful Jake. I could get used to this,” Bear teased gently, swiping a tear from his cheek. “You’ll spoil me.” 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting his lips linger for just a moment. “A wise woman once told me that I was her everything. Now that I have a future with her in the making, I finally get to make good on my promise to never let her forget how much I love her.” 

“Anyone I know?” 

“Maybe. She’s about your height, similar build, most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. She’s a firecracker, but cares so deeply for everyone around her. I watched her crawl through hell and still look like she wasn’t done fighting. And by her, I mean you, Teddy.” 

“Sap.” 

“You know you love me.” 

Bear nodded, her smile fond as Jake caught her left hand, pressed a gentle kiss to the knuckles. “I really do.” 

“No comment?” Jake asked curiously, a look of brief concern flickering over his face. “Are you okay?” 

She glanced up at him, kissing Jake sweetly. “You are the best thing that happened to me. I never saw you coming, Jake, and I am so thankful that you tried and failed to flirt with me that first day.” 

Jake’s face softened as he drew her into his arms once again. “So am I, Teddy. So am I. I have never been more thankful that I failed to win you over the first time we met.” His words were barely above a whisper, their pronunciation thick as he fought back tears. “If I’m your everything, then I don’t even know how to explain the depth of my love for you. I gave you my heart in the time it took you to glance at me with even a hint of curiosity and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are the only one keeping it safe for the rest of my life. 

“You are it for me, Teddy.” 

Sometimes two people are just destined for each other. One usually flies high, so sure of their own skill that they forget that life is waiting for them on the ground. The other stays on the ground, their head down, fighting to break free of the weight they shoulder everyday. The free-flier learns how to anchor themself and the weighed down learns how to fly among the birds, both getting what they always desired in their darkest moments. 

There is always uncertainty when the grounded learns to soar, fear of giving their heart away and of falling, yet here, in the moment, there is nothing to fear. How could there be when both swore that the other was their everything? That they would travel to the bitter end of time and back again for one another?

The next step is always scary, but for Bear and Jake, they knew that it was only the start of the next chapter of the rest of their life together. One full of peace, love, and happiness that steadied them through it all.

It wasn’t the end, merely the beginning.

===

A/N: This is it. I can't believe that this was 25 chapters worth of Bear and Jake and I am so thankful to everyone who has read and will continue to read this fic now that it's over. AGAD is my baby and my first ever completed fic, so it will always be special. You cannot possibly know how much your endless support means to me, how much of myself I poured into this series. Bear and Jake’s story is done, for now. I have plans for them in the future and I cannot wait to see you all there!

Thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s @dakotakazansky for being my biggest supporters and always being there for me and this fic. I love you all and I’m sorry for breaking your hearts on more than one occasion. For the last time, thank you for reading!

Taglist: @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @bradleybeachbabe @footprintsinthesxnd @twsssmlmaa @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @chaoticassidy @eli2447 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @sgt-barnesveins @taytaylala12 @urmom-999 @formulapierre @pinkpantheris @havlindzk @a-beaverhausen @killcomet @buxkybarnez @topgunruinedme @hangmanscoming @smoothdogsgirl @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby

[shesjustanothergeek]

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|

Part Thirty-One

Masterlist of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: This will be a heavy one, besties. We're getting into the story's darker and potentially triggering side, so I've given more detail than I usually do about warnings. Also, the song Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain heavily inspired this chapter, and I really, really recommend listening to it to connect with the reader. Thank you so much for reading!

Chapter Warnings: graphic depictions of dissociation, seizures, sexual assault, misogyny, incontinence, attempted rape, power imbalances, and murder. You have been warned.

Red Butterflies Meanings: courage, passion, the life-death cycle, fire, and survival.

"Even the iron still fears the rot

Hiding from something I cannot stop

Walking on shadows, I can't lead him back, 

Buckled on the floor when night comes along..."

- Ptolemaea, Ethel Cain

Arryk's head spun when he finally reached White Sword Tower, his armor bearing the weight of his emotions as he yanked the knots that held them together, discarding it haphazardly across his chamber. The more he thought of what he witnessed, the more his head pounded, the pain building inside until he could no longer stand it, and vomit spewed into his chamber pot.

He was an imbecile, a fool, no better than the court jester who embarrassed themselves for others' entertainment.

Arryk knew that you and Prince Aegon were close. You spent most of your days with him or Helaena as any kin would, but he should have learned, paid closer attention, and protected you from the Prince's ensnarement.

Sometimes, the knight would notice the Prince too close, a hand resting in an unusual spot or a stare lingering far longer than what was proper, but he thought nothing of it. You were a capable woman. You were far better at standing your ground than any other noblewoman regarding a male's advances. He saw for himself with the Lord Reaper of Pyke.

Perhaps that was a lie. Maybe you were not the strong woman he believed. Maybe you rejected advances because your sights were set on someone else, your heart on someone else, not because you held your honor to a high degree. You made your own choices–made your bed. You could save your own against the vices of the opposite sex yet make the choices of a hoydenish woman, and that was what Arryk sinkingly realized.

It was your choice.

***

Your chest felt hollow as you stared out a paned window in Aegon's chambers as he laced the back of your dress. The hours after Arryk's intrusion were spent inside the Prince's rooms listening to his apologies. His pleas and snivels were disregarded as you stared at the vast expanse of King's Landing.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, rubbing his tear-stained cheeks into the crook of your neck. "I am a fool. I should never have done such a thing. I-I should have protected your honor," he stuttered, swallowing the excess saliva in his mouth. "Please, speak to me. Yell at me, strike me, please just anything."

Your emotions had switched off like the flicker of a candle flame, tears long dried and left to crack on your skin. "What is there to say that you have not?"

Aegon sobbed further into you in admission, the weight of his actions lowering him to the floor as he crumbled at your feet, shoving his face into your thick skirts. He reminded you of his son who screamed and wailed if you ignored him, the same soft, wavy blonde hair below you, begging to be touched.

You did not feel anger towards the Prince. It would have been better if you did, but you could not force it in spite of your best efforts. It felt like nothing. No simmering rage threatened to boil, no sadness or embarrassment pulling at your gut. No emotion. Simply and utterly nothing, and it felt wrong. You needed to show something to sense anything.

Imagining all the hardships you faced, Ma's abandonment and the death of Lyra and Sara proved fruitless. Only when Aegon became too grabby and pinched the flesh of your thighs then did you feel something.

Pain.

It was the sensation that guided the victories of some and the downfalls of others. It brought you back to reality, feeling Aegon's rapid breathing on your wrist and realizing you had not been inside your body despite your mind moving.

"All will be forgiven with time," you decided, hand moving to stroke the fine strands on your fair-haired boy's head, "but you must swear to me you shall never do such a thing again. You will work on yourself to find what causes you to commit such atrocities. I cannot mend what has been broken if you do not know what needs to be."

You sensed Aegon's gaze on you before he spoke, nodding profusely. "I will, I will! I will do anything for you, my love!" he simpered, rubbing the tears and mucus from his lips.

"No, Aegon," you said firmly, his eyes snapping to his bleary ones. You must do this for yourself. Not for me."

He knew better than to speak again, for the only words he would utter would debase himself further, so he bobbed his head and pulled your legs closer in a mock embrace. He loved you so... so much.

"I must confront Ser Arryk about this," you began, your voice one of practice. "You will need to be the unmoving rock that the waves crash against for me. Arryk is furious and I fear he will say things that might hurt me far worse than any blow."

"I shall kill him if he tries to," Aegon declared with a fierce glint in his eyes.

While it pleases you to no end, the depth of his affections is unnecessary.

"No," you stated firmly, bending at the waist to pull your lover up to his full height, "you will do no such thing. I need your support, not your wrath."

He stared at you sternly as if ready to take up arms and defend your honor, and it warmed your heart, finally feeling something other than empty. You smiled delicately, the tug barely there as you kissed the wrinkles between Aegon's pale brows, smoothing his unruly hair.

"I love you," the words were like an oath as if this was the first time you had uttered them, "more than I could ever explain. I want you to remember that. Always."

Aegon was speechless, taken aback by the sudden gravity of your confession that he had already heard many times before. He knew he could only show his appreciation in one way when words were useless. Kissing your lips with a breathless intensity that nearly knocked you off your feet, he slowly kneeled before you.

The Prince wrote his apologies with his tongue on your cunt, drank the sweet nectar from between your legs gratefully, and once you peaked, digits twisting and pulling his silver hair, he thanked you and begged to allow him to do it once more. 

***

It was nearly impossible to track Ser Arryk after he left; even asking his twin brother led you to no answer. There was one place he could be, but you could not set foot in White Sword Tower. The mere thought of it stole the air from your lungs. Instead, you found it less vexing to wait until his inevitable appearance. After all, he swore an oath to you, and those who broke them received punishments worse than death.

Searching for your sworn shield, you ran into some welcoming faces and some not. Young Dyana was the first for you to greet along with another nursemaid now carrying the nearly fluent Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. Your littlest cousins were ecstatic to see you, almost knocking you to your knees as they squealed in delight, telling you of their day. Prince Jaehaerys declared with such vehemence that he would be as skilled as a swordsman as you, and when you brought up his Uncle Aemond, who was just formidable, he shook his head.

"There are a lot of Uncle Aemonds," he said, "there are no yous."

No matter the circumstances, the twins always make you smile. And just the same, Larys Strong's appearance asking you to share a bottle of wine regarding the previous subject he discussed always makes you scowl.

It was the hour of ghosts before the guard change, forcing you to stay awake with needlework in your hands. You applauded him for choosing such a late time, but he underestimated your will, as men often find themselves victims of.

And that was where you found yourself, staring into the once kind, soft blue eyes, now cold, impenetrable, and filled with venom.

Ser Cargyll's reaction confused you. He was your protector, not your father, but even then, you were optimistic that Daemon would be proud of what you had done. Was it because he only knew of the Aegon spoken of in rumors? The one who ate, drank, whored, and gambled in gluttonous amounts. Did he think you needed protecting from the contents of courtly gossip?

"I understand your apprehension about Aegon," you began, taking a deep breath and readying yourself for a monologue, "but I can assure you I can handle a spoiled prince."

"I have no doubt in that," Ser Arryk huffed, crossing his arms with a sneer. You were physically taken aback, your head shaking as if he struck you in the face. "Seeing as you took his cock like a common Flea Bottom whore."

Mouth gaping like a fish, you gasped, surprised at the gull of your sworn shield. The man who had comforted you after the abuse you received from Septa Mariam was insulting you and, in a way, he knew would hurt you deeper.

"I beg your pardon?" you questioned aghast, eyes wide as the conversation between friends turned to one of enemies.

"What? Did he fuck you deaf too?"

You sighed heavily, mouth in a deep frown as you glanced away, attempting to comprehend how to proceed. Anger was slowly rising within you, like the tide of Blackwater Bay, but you refused to let it control you. "I see," you answered dejectedly, "you believe like the rest of them... the rumors." It hurt to finally confront someone who thought of Aegon so lowly, having been woefully unprepared for the sheer hostility. "But you must put your trust in my judgment not to love someone who is so wretched."

"I loved you. I swore my life to you, my blood to you, and yet..." he paused, clenching his chestnut-beard jaw before cracking, "You desire a monster."

Arryk's statements befuddled you, causing you to let out an ugly guffaw. "You speak of oaths, yet your words are empty. Did you not promise to stay by my side no matter the cost? To spill your blood and offer guidance when needed and when not?" He gave you no response, his stare filled with all the hatred of the Seven Hells. "You are sworn to me!" You shouted in desperation, arms gesturing with each passionate phrase he refused to answer with only disgust.

"I am sworn to the King," he answered like a blade cracking through your ribs.

"You are an oath breaker, Ser Arryk Cargyll. Men have been punished more for less," you declared with ire, your voice husky from your previous statements.

Arryk understood what you meant by those words—the unspoken outcome of death to those who returned to their promises.

"You would never punish me," he flatly stated as if he had just said a mundane fact about the weather.

You nodded in acquiescence, sucking your cheek as if you tasted something vile. "You are correct. I am not the vile bastard people claim me to be. I do not betray and break promises I have sworn before the Old Gods and the New! Do not go back on your words simply because of your own emotions."

"I love you! I care about you morning and night, not him! I've been the one to weather the storms of your life! I have protected your honor from those who thought to use it because I believed you were kind and good!" he yelled, blue veins popping from his pale neck. "I thought of breaking my vow to the King for you! Creating a life for us where you would be free of judgment and duties, from the whispers and gossip of nobles, but you-"

"You speak as if it is my fault for your fantasies, that I gave you love letters and kisses and sang ballads." You refused to accept any blame for this. "You are a man and responsible for your own emotions, not me. Take your leave and return when you have come to your senses," you declared with finality.

He acted like a petulant child- far worse than you had ever seen Aegon. The man seemed entitled to your emotions as if you owed him for not reciprocating his feelings.

Arryk could not stand this. How could you be so selfish and uncaring? He loved you. He loved you! Why didn't you love him back?

"You are your blood," he spat, raising a gloved finger in ridicule, "a harlot and a monster."

It felt as if you got a blow to the chest, arms wrapping securely around yourself. You loved your Father and your Mother; they were good people. So why did it hurt?

Ser Arryk left without another word, large oak doors slamming shut behind him. He entered without hesitance when he reached another set of intricately carved wood, fitting that of only those who lived in Maegor's Holdfast.

The Queen sat within her solar, a cup of evening tea resting on a saucer in her lap. She wore her dressing gown, staring idly into the warmth of the fire as Ser Arryk's presence caused a start. Ser Criston stood not too far from Alicent, the hand on the pommel of his sword as he began to scold the knight.

"Ser Cargyll, what is the meaning of this?" Criston questioned, irritation laced in his words. Arryk had not realized he was out of breath until he attempted to speak, words becoming difficult to create. "I must speak with her grace. Tis a matter of great urgency."

Ser Criston bristled, scowling as he stood tall in the face of the disheveled knight. "You may speak to her highness on the morrow. It is too late for audiences and hardly proper."

Arryk sucked in a breath as he readied to protest but was stopped short by the rise of the Queen's hand. Her protector stared at her in confusion, telling with his eyes that he was not pleased with her allowance of this.

"Please, ser," Alicent spoke with her smooth alto, gesturing to the area before her.

Ser Arryk took a few calming inhales, wanting to speak as eloquently before the Queen Consort of the Seven Kingdoms, giving her a brief bow. He was unsure of how to word it. He knew if he spoke with the scorn he felt within, Alicent might not perceive the honesty of his confession and take it as an upset man with bruised pride.

"I have served as a steadfast member of the Kingsguard. I have not shied away from any challenge nor dishonored him," he began, the rise and fall of his chest steady. "I did not cower when your father, the Lord Hand, tasked me with protecting the King's granddaughter. However, lately, there have been revelations that have caused me to question where my loyalties lie. I seek your guidance, my Queen, regarding the Princess." The Queen stared at him with concern, brows wrinkled, and plump lips pursed. 

"I happened upon your son, Prince Aegon, and the Princess within his bed chambers."

Ser Criston could not hide his shock, glancing at Queen Alicent to see her unphased reaction. "I initially believed the situation to be non-consensual, but her grace explained that it was not, that they are in love. It worries me that if word should travel and Prince Daemon discovers the relationship, I should be punished for not protecting her honor."

He purposefully hid the valid reason for his appearance, knowing he could be punished if he revealed it.

Alicent inhaled, silently relieved that someone else shared her concerns regarding you and her son. She placed her tea on the foot table before her, gently wiping the corners of her lips and clearing her throat.

"I understand your concern, Ser Arryk. Who all knows of this?" she inquired with a frown.

"Just my brother, Erryk, and I. He has known for some time but protects the Prince's secrets."

"I see," she responded, voice resigned. "I thank you most graciously for coming to me. You have done your duty well, ser. You needn't shoulder this burden any longer. I shall take care of the matter. You may take your leave."

The knight bowed his head, the weight on his chest still there, but not for political affairs, as he swiftly exited, thanking the Queen for her time.

Criston studied Alicent once the knight left, eyes scanning over her form. He could tell from the years of servitude when she was hiding something, her fingers begging to pick at her digits, but being the ever-dutiful protector, he remained silent.

The Queen stewed in the quiet, her teeth gnawing on her plush lip. Endless outcomes ran wild through her mind, all of them creating a ball of anxiety. Finally, when she was too far lost in her thoughts, she grabbed her tea and took a calming sip.

"Ser Criston," she spoke, startling her sworn shield, "please summon Lord Larys. I wish to speak with him."

***

You found yourself within the Godswood as you always did in times of strife, gazing up into the golden leaves of a Cottonwood, the soft rustle of branches reminding you of inaudible whispers. They were hard to make within the darkness, only able to see the outlines with the dusting of stars, but they gave you comfort. The Old Gods watched you with their unseen eyes as your fingertips traced the rough bark, grass crunching beneath your boots.

You recalled your first time within the Godswood since arriving in King's Landing, trying to seek peace yet being disturbed by a drunk and blubbering Aegon. The memory pulled a smile onto your cold cheeks, a nostalgic feeling coming over you as you thought of your time under the Heart Tree together. It felt like an age ago now. Such foolishness you did then...

You hadn't returned to Aegon yet, needing time within yourself to fully comprehend such a betrayal from your knight. It was still raw, the wound gaping and pooling with blood as it seeped into the sod below. Arryk hurt you far more than you ever thought him capable.

Your relationship with the knight began purely logistically. You needed to gather as many allies as possible, and you had succeeded by having your maids, Madam's web of spies in the Keep, and a Prince and Princess. The now missing piece was a protector. Some of you desired to march to the Commander of The Kingsguard, Ser Harrold, and tell him how Arryk had betrayed his oath in more ways than one, but you could not. 

You had unknowingly shattered Ser Arryk's heart, and some part of you that had grown fond of the knight was pained because of it. You were confident that he would return once he fully understood you did not mean to do so and would forgive him.

Suddenly, a quiet cracking noise came from the far corner of the Godswood. Your head snapped, and your hand instinctively went to your dagger. Instead of a foe, the metal and glass shack of Helaena's butterfly hut stood, the rhythmic thunk, thunk, thunk becoming louder as you trekked across the yard.

You observed in awe as a newly hatched butterfly, a mix of red, black, and tan, white dots that looked like eyes, flapped its inexperienced wings, repeatedly flying into the glass wall. Your heart broke for the insect, glancing at the door. If you unlatched the shack, you could free the singular insect for a time of freedom beyond its transparent cage but doom the rest of the cocoons to the frost. Or you could leave it to be the only one that dies, continuing the life cycle for the dozen other insects evolving into their destined form.

You stared at the lone creature for a moment, your teeth tugging at your lip before making your way to the inside of the Red Keep.

***

When you entered your hall, seeing no guard at the door was surprising. Usually, you expect to catch a member of the Gold Cloaks fast asleep outside your door, especially if Ser Arryk was not posted. You did not think the knight was so careless as to leave a member of the royal family unguarded, but people acted out of character in anger, so you did not hold it against him.

Upon entering your chambers, you found the cause of the missing protector. Lord Larys Strong sat at your dining table, the flagon of wine he promised glinting in the candlelight.

"I see now why there is no guard at my chambers," you began, eyes scanning the Lord for any potential threat. "Did you pay him or offer a girl indebted to you?"

Larys grinned, mirth in his stare, and bowed his head as his palms rested on the firefly of his cane. Would it be so terrible if you broke the thing?

"Princess, you speak so lowly of me. Words like that wound a man's heart." He brought his hand to his chest, emphasizing the mock pain. "I have come to have that drink with you."

You stared at him skeptically, your eyelids slit as you placed your fur coat across the back of an empty chair at the table. "I do not recall agree to such an invitation," you spoke, taking your seat and peering into the red liquid inside the glass.

Larys took his drink, lifting his cup in a slight toast. You followed his actions, sipping the cup demurely as only an action of politeness. It stunned you momentarily that the Lord had chosen your favorite Essosi wine, flashing him a tight-lipped smile as he watched expectantly. "I do hope your only reason for being here is not regarding our previous conversation. My mind has not changed."

"I understand it has not, Princess, but I want you to understand that I have yet to fail the Queen and do not intend to do so now," he responded with a stern furrow of his brow.

Rolling your eyes, you groaned, taking another sip of your wine before speaking. "I am not leaving King's Landing, and that is final. Queen Alicent knows now that I shall not, and neither of you has the power to do so." You stood from your chair, fists on your hips as you leaned against the oak table, looking down at the crooked man. "I am here in my Mother's stead. You recall the Lords trying to remove me from the Small Council and how it faired?"

The Master of Whispers nodded in recollection, crossing his ankles as he gazed above at you, his mousy brown hair falling behind his ears. "I remember that, indeed. It was quite a sight," he chortled, "you inspired enough courage in the King to leave his sick bed, and not even the namedays of his children could do that."

You giggled at his words, but it quickly became a cough, your mouth dry as you took a swig of the Essosi wine to coat your throat. "Yes, and you remember his words? That I'm to be retreated as an extension of Princess Rhaenyra. You would not remove the heir to the Iron Trone from her rightful seat?"

The Strong Lord hummed through his nose, taking a drink in silence, his beady stare on you. Something was always hidden with his gaze as if he knew the very thoughts inside your head. You grew uncomfortable as your mind wandered, fidgeting with the golden rings on your fingers. The betrayal of the Red Keep was profound, which you understood from a very young age and was the whole purpose of your prolonged stay here, but it still amazed you when you met it head-on.

The only reason for the questions around your Mother's legitimacy as heir was the fact that she had a cunt instead of a cock. The ruling lords feared what change Rhaenyra would cause with her rule. It threatened the centuries of tradition they had created, a tradition that served to their advantage. If a woman ruled the Seven Kingdoms, what would that mean for them? What would it mean for all the eldest daughters tossed aside in favor of a younger son?

It would mean women would no longer be the property of their fathers and husbands. They could not barter and sell for their advantage. It would tell women they weren't the lesser sex; they were not subservient but equal, and that threatened men's power.

"My Mother will create a new order for the realm, Lord Larys," you declared flippantly, your palms becoming sticky. "She will not be the exception but the rule, and you will either bend the knee for her when the time comes or lose your life." You raised a brow as if to invite challenge, daring the Lord to say the treasonous words that were written across the lines of his face.

Larys smirked as always, sighing as he twirled his cane between his digits. "We shall see," he stated wistfully, eyes trained on the object in his hands.

You moved yourself off the table to protest but nearly fell, an abrupt burning sensation radiating within your gut, catching you unaware. Groaning, you cradled your stomach and rested on the wood for support. You felt your body begin to weaken with every minute of discomfort, a sudden onset of symptoms that reminded you of when you ate tainted food. Grunting, you glanced at Larys, the man now observing you with an expecting look in his blue eyes.

"I apologize, my Lord. I believe I may have eaten something foul today," you gritted out, sweat beginning to seep from every pore in your body. "Please, excuse me and we shall reconvene at another time."

"No, Princess. I intend to stay. As I have said, I have yet to leave my Queen's wishes unfulfilled, and you are no different."

You stared at him perplexed, vision going blurry momentarily as a stabbing pain scorched your insides, and suddenly it all made sense.

Your gaze quickly flickered over to the half-drank cup of wine, the absence of a guard, and Larys' calm demeanor. You could see it in his eyes, the same cold, icy gaze as he watched your knees buckle beneath you. Pushing yourself off the table, you made your way for the exit. You would not sit idly and allow this man to escape with whatever he had done. You would fight until your heart finally ceased to beat.

The Lord stuck out his cane before you gained enough distance, causing your knees to crash against the stone floor, pain radiating throughout your body.

You whimpered pitifully, the sound causing shame to rise as you attempted to push yourself up, but your arms gave out, collapsing again. Larys stood from his chair, his dragging gait and rhythmic tapping of wood creeping up behind you as you turned to face him, back pressed to the cold floor.

"Tell me," you rasped, the mere act of speaking creating a combination of exhaustion and nausea, "what have you done?"

He peered down at you through the end of his nose, the tip of his cane pressing into your chest as you pushed your body away. You couldn't catch your breath, a buzzing within your ears sounding as Larys began to speak.

"I saw you, the morning of Ser Lorgan's death, in the lower quarters of White Sword Tower. I followed you in." He lowered himself to the ground next to you, your limbs unable to move as a helpless terror rose within your heart. "I saw what you did, Princess. You murdered an innocent man, severing his head from his body, and when finished, sat at the table, you broke your fast."

Tears cloud your vision, leaking from your eyes with abandon as you struggled to breathe, the once thoughtless task becoming laborious. He knew all this time that you were the killer the scullery maids feared at night, yet he said nothing. He could have easily used that knowledge to blackmail you from Kings Landing. So why... why did Larys Strong choose death? What could he possibly gain from your murder?

Larys' hands made their way to your skirts, sliding the thick fabric you once held pride in up your legs. You could not feel the sensation, nor your lower limbs, horror tearing at your mind as his fingers went to your stockings next.

"Stop," you inaudibly muttered, mouth full of lead. "Make it stop."

You were praying to anything, anyone who would listen to your cries– any god, Old or New, the Seven, Valyrian, Pentosi, the Drowned, anyone who would help save you from this fate. It was not enough that Larys had incapacitated you; he had to defile you, too.

"I was confused, at first, why you would seemingly murder someone at random. It took time, but eventually, a connection was made. Ser Edder and Lorgan were the ones that punished the two women who attempted to help you flee all those years ago." Larys removed your boots and stockings, baring your unmoving limbs for his eyes to feast upon. "Lyra and Sara I believe. A whore and a maid."

He stroked his thumb over the arch of your foot, admiring the concave flesh as he brought it to his lips. You gagged, abdomen lurching as you turned your head to the side, a mixture of blood and digested food spewing from your mouth and onto the floor beside you. The vile man proceeded to cherish the soles of your feet as one would a jewel, nuzzling his face into them as he licked a stripe from your heel to toe.

"Make it stop. Please, I've had enough," you cried, the words only a murmur.

There was fear within you, but what overshadowed it was sadness. You had finally found the happiness you craved, the missing piece within your life that would ultimately make you whole, and now it would be taken away. You did not mourn for the loss of life. You wept for Aegon, Luke, Jace, Joffery, Helaena, Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, your Mother and Father for the years you would miss, for the events you would never see. 

You would never see the twins grow into adults, little Aegon and Viserys speak their first words, or the babe growing within Helaena's belly. You would not see Aegon become the man he was meant to be, to watch him blossom into the loving father and husband he was always capable of being. You feared what would become of him without the one he depended on. Would all your planning and sacrifices be for naught?

Larys glanced back up at you, noticing the pile of gore beside your head, stained lips and tears, smiling as he gingerly placed your foot down, proceeding his assault onto the next.

You were relieved to some degree that you had lost all sensation in the lower half of your body, a welcomed gift from whatever poison he chose.

"You poor thing. Sweet, mourning lamb, there's nothing you can do. It's already been done," he cooed, leaning above you to brush a strand of loose ebony hair sticking to your forehead. "The poison will kill you soon, and you shall not remember a thing," he declared, kneeling as he shoved himself between your legs, undoing the laces of his breeches.

"Poison Hemlock is often mistaken for carrots by young children in the Riverlands. 'Tis a volatile thing. Sometimes, it starts with vomiting, tremors, and uncontrollable movements of the muscles, but one thing is for certain: you will die tonight, Princess, alone and at the mercy of a man who you think yourself above."

Your heart began to race impossibly faster as Larys shifted your skirts, pulling the knot of your small clothes and dragging them down your legs. He brought the sweat-soaked fabric to his nose, burying his face as he inhaled your natural scent. It sent another wave of disgust, coughing up excess saliva and leftover blood as you choked.

Suddenly, you felt as if a wave rolled through your head, an intense pressure pounding inside your skull as you lost all the breath within your lungs. Larys looked up at the noise, seeing your horror-stricken gaze as your body went rigid, your eyes involuntarily rolling back until he saw nothing but the whites of them. Your body began to convulse uncontrollably, your mind losing consciousness and control.

Larys sneered in distaste at the abrupt cut off to his fun, adjusting himself more comfortably between your legs. He had hoped there would be more time before the hemlock took full effect, but this would have to do. At least he would no longer hear your pathetic mewls of protest.

He waited patiently until the tremors subsided, leaning back on his haunches as he observed the pink bubbly froth seep from your mouth, tearing his aching cock from his trousers as he began to stroke himself to total hardness.

Larys felt the warmth of liquid on his knees before he saw it, a puddle of urine soaking through the material of his breeches as he moved your legs over to the side. He was disgusted with his now urine-soaked clothes, insulted that you would do such a thing as if you had control over it, standing with the help of his firefly cane. He peered down at your still convulsing form, intrigued by your body's lack of control despite your unconsciousness.

It was disappointing that he could not derive some pleasure from his actions. It left him woefully unfulfilled, but he was satisfied enough to have kept his promise to the Queen, to reduce someone who thought so highly of themselves to a pissing, vomiting mess. Larys left your chambers with a smile on his mousy face, as silent as the rats within the walls of the Keep. 

Masterlist of Series

So what do y'all think? I warned that it would get darker here, but it's ASOIAF. What did you expect? I wanted to express the reader's fear and the sense of violation she felt during the poisoning scene, so I hope I did a good job with that. I also really wanted to not just do the type of poisoning scene where people cough up some blood and then be done with it. I'm probably on the FBI's watch list for my search history because I did so much research on the effects of Poison Hemlock and different types of seizures. XD

Also, when I was little, I gave my mom a bouquet of poison hemlock. To be fair, the white flower is pretty, and I was like 8.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thank you so much for reading!

Tagged Peeps: @zeennnnnnn, @malfoytargaryen, @targaryencore, @justasmallbean, @omgsuperstarg, @sommornyte, @silverslive, @ynbutbetter, @legolas017, @iiamthehybrid, @dd122004dd, @ladybug0095, @millies0bsimp, @kalfild, @sheislonelyalways, @tempt-ress, @minttea07, @trikigirl271, @esposadomd, @prettywhenicry4, @daenerysqueenofhearts, @justarandomflowerchildofthenight, @pastelorangeskies, @existential-echo, @priyajoyy, @merovingianprincess, @candy12110, @w3ird11, @ruhjkie, @somemydayy, @marikkjj, @zillahvathek, @sunfyresrider, @heavenly1927, @hjgdhghoe, @im-sidney, @aurorathi, @marihoneywk, @xitsemm

[klbwriting]

Surface Tension

Chapter 7 - There's No Music Anymore

Fandom: Aquaman

Pairing: Ormxfemale!Reader

Warnings: some violence, light assault

Summary: Somehow things get worse

Notes: Just for some levity, because these chapters made me sad, Patrick Wilson just has a shit ton of shirtless/naked GIFS, like the man hates clothes and I for one, understand, good for him, but it makes it very hard to find GIFs of sadness, comments/critiques appreciated!

Taglist: @hyperagitatedcydonian13 @gabrieleskywalker @philiasoul @duchcess

They finally stopped swimming once they hit actual deep water. Hendrix gripped one of Y/N’s arms while an Atlantian soldier gripped the other. They met up with two more soldiers and Queen Atlanna. She looked surprised at first but then mirrored her face to look at Hendrix confused. He held out Y/N as if he were offering the queen a crown.

“What are you doing with this person?” Atlanna asked, pretending she had never seen the girl before. She didn’t want to explain why she would know Y/N. Orm was still in hiding and this complication wasn’t something she wanted to lead back to him.

“This is Y/N Velix, bastard child of former councilwoman Roux Velix, she was the perpetrator of the attempted assassination of King Orm on his coronation day,” he said, smiling wide with pride. Finally, he could push the suspicion in the kingdom off himself, offer her up as the sacrifice for that day. Make way for the king to trust him and eventually he would kill him and ascend the throne himself.

“This is the woman who shot the pulsar at him?” Atlanna asked, shocked. She had obviously been exiled during that time, but she had heard about the coronation, had seen the footage that Hendrix had found of that day. But she had also seen how Y/N looked at Orm in that café. Whatever thoughts of killing him she had had then she did not have now. Right now, she looked devastated, shaking her head while fighting against Hendrix specifically, not the other guard. She didn’t want Hendrix to touch her.

“Yes, she was with the terrorist group know as Atlantis for All that I infiltrated. I heard their plan, and she was the leader,” he said. Then he smiled even more. “And I thought I saw someone we all thought dead my queen, another criminal on the run. Who was that man terrorist? Tell me his name and you perhaps will have mercy.” Y/N froze and looked at him. Atlanna’s jaw twitched, knowing that he was speaking of Orm. He was still assumed dead during the Black Trident attack, and they needed to keep it that way. Y/N could ruin it all and save herself right now.

“I don’t know who you think he is but he’s just a surface dweller, nothing important, you won’t see him again,” she said. Hendrix glared and slapped her. “Tell the truth trash!” he yelled. She turned her face to look at him, now past fear and into anger.

“He’s a surface dweller, he left, he won’t be coming back to me,” she said, enunciating as if he were a toddler. Hendrix snarled, taking his hand off her to wind up for a better hit. Y/N took the opportunity and swam at Atlanna, pretending to be trying to run. She collided with the queen, who held onto to her. She leaned close so only Atlanna would hear. “Tell him I’m sorry, please.” She was yanked back by the other guards and Hendrix hit her in the back of the head with a weapon, knocking her unconscious.

“She is lying, I’m sure of it, let me go investigate further,” Hendrix demanded. Atlanna held up a hand to silence him. He hated that she still held any power, he should have been king, and he was still listening to the surface loving whore.

“I will investigate. If who you say is up there then I can get him to come quietly. We have just revealed ourselves to the surface, we don’t want him to start a war with them trying to fight you off,” she said. Her word was final. Hendrix glared but nodded to the soldiers who moved with him to take Y/N back to Atlantis and to a cell.

Orm had arrived at Tom’s to find Atlanna off on business in Atlantis and Arthur on his way to him. In the meantime, he sat in AJ’s room, playing with the little one. He didn’t realize until his nephew came over and hugged him that he was crying. He’d never cried before, it felt like the tension he had been holding released. He gripped AJ close, but not tight and let him go when he heard someone come in the room.

“Hey little brother, what’s going on?” Arthur asked, picking up his son who ran to him. Orm got up, wiping his face quickly before turning. He could see Arthur knew, his eyes were red, and he looked a mess.

“Y/N…she um, she was lying to me the whole time,” he said finally.

“What? Was she married or something?” Arthur asked. Orm let out an annoyed breath. That he could have dealt with, better than this at least. Better her be married to someone else then her be not only Atlantian but accused of an assassination attempt against him.

“No Arthur, she isn’t married, but she’s Atlantian,” he said. Arthur looked more confused.

“What’s the problem then? You weren’t exactly honest about being from Atlantis yourself,” he said.

“No, but she knew who I was, anyone from Atlantis would. She knew who I was, and she didn’t tell me who she was. What she did, or what she tried to do…or stop doing…” he trailed off, thoughts muddling together.

“Ok, let's get a beer, I’m going to need a drink for this,” Arthur said, setting AJ down again and leading Orm to the kitchen. They got some beers and went to sit on the dock. “Tell me everything that happened.”

“We spent the night together…”

“My man, finally getting some action,” Arthur said, unable to stop himself. Orm glared at him, silencing his brother with one look.

“We spent the night together and this morning her friend came over. She was angry, I’m guessing another Atlantian, someone who almost lost her husband when I sent that tidal wave to the coast 5 years ago. She was saying how Y/N was a traitor to their cause pretty much,” he explained.

“Their cause?” Arthur asked. He had heard stories about different rebellions during the time Orvax, especially after it was discovered he had engineered and released the sickness that had killed so many in the lower city, but only one of them had really made any noise, Atlantis for All, after they attempted to assassinate Orm.

“She was part of Atlantis for All, she told them the parade route for my coronation, but according to her I was never supposed to be attacked. It was supposed to be a cracker that exploded over them, making me pay attention,” he said. Arthur thought for a moment. “I don’t know what to believe. She said they only wanted to help the people in the lower city. Her father was from there, she was raised there until he died. She’s a councilwoman’s bastard. Arthur, I’m so confused. I’ve never felt like this before, like everything hurts.” For the first time Orm leaned into Arthur for comfort, letting his brother hug him tight as they sat there.

“I brought the footage you asked for,” Arthur said. “I had some of the tech people clean it up as much as could be done. No one’s watched it yet, let’s find out if your lady is telling the truth. If she is, go back to her, talk it out. You were once a genocidal maniac wanting to destroy the surface, if you can change, maybe she has too. If she’s lying and she did try to kill you, well I’m going to take her back to Atlantis myself.” Orm shook his head.

“No, you’re not. If she did try to kill me, I’ll leave, but I don’t want anything done to her. She isn’t that person anymore,” he said. Arthur nodded and held up the holodisk, turning it on. Orm was taken back to that day. He was terrified, so scared of being a disappointment to his father, or worse, becoming his father. He had been able to put on a face, but that crown was so heavy that day, watching the footage now he could see how tired he was already, shoulders sagging just a little under the weight of expectation he was supposed to live up to.

The footage was shot from the side, almost behind the Atlantis for All protest. He heard her voice again, heart tearing in his chest at the sound of it. The song was an old one, about taking care of those around you, being a better person. It broke his heart to hear her, to know she had been right there, so close to him, and he never knew. Then he could see the person next to her putting up the energy pulsar. With the footage cleared up you could see the paint and tubing that disguised it as a cracker, only the soft lighting was giving it away. She hadn’t touched it, but he saw her turn, stare for a moment before shock came to her face. She didn’t know. She grabbed it and tried to yank it up, away from Orm, but the other person, whose face was shielded by the camera angle, yanked it back. It went off and just missed him. He turned off the video and put his head in his hands.

“She was telling the truth, she saved my life,” he said softly, tears coming again. Would they ever stop? Arthur stood, helping him up. He turned his brother’s face to him and held it.

“Go back to her, talk about it, talk about everything,” Arthur said. “Tell her you love her. You’re both different now.” Orm nodded. “Actually, come on, I’ll drive you back.”

The men arrived to find Atlanna on the porch waiting. They looked confused as they approached. She looked sullen and angry.

“Did that woman try to kill you?” she demanded of Orm. Orm’s eyes widened. How did she know about Y/N? If she knew who else did? He looked at her house as Arthur explained the footage and what they had found. Orm didn’t listen. He ran to the house, breaking inside and running from room to room, yelling for her. He was just opening the backdoor when Atlanna put a hand on his shoulder.

“Hendrix found her, he took her back to Atlantis for trial, she’s been accused of treason. They are asking for her execution.”

Orm fell to his knees, punching the ground once before screaming.

[abbatoirablaze]

Locked Up, Chapter 10

Word Count:  2.1k

Warnings:  mentions of violence, mentions of assault, riot, threats of harm/violence/death.

“Hey…”

“Yeah?” Ransom asked, his brow raised as he looked at the woman he loved. 

“Be careful in there!”

Ransom smiled, “what…you going soft on me?”

“I’ve always been soft on you, Hugh,” she whispered, pulling the inmate into a searing kiss.  Ransom sighed against her lips, letting his walls come down if only for a moment, while their lips worked together.  Just as his eyes fluttered shut, she pulled away, making sure to rest her head against his, “I’m serious.  You be okay!”

“I’m always okay…”

“Fine…be good then!”

His trademark smirk was back as he gave her a knowing glance, “when have I ever been good?”

“I love you…”

Ransom froze for a moment, surprise lacing his features.  He’d heard Viv say those words before, but normally it was in response to him acting like a brat, or doing something that was just within his personality traits.  But here, now…she was looking at him in a different way.  She was softer.  More serious as she watched him.

He wondered if Ari had told her anything about what they’d been planning to do.  He wondered if she knew anything about what was supposed to happen today. 

But he brushed the thoughts off.  When him and Ari had discussed the possibility of staging a riot, they had also talked about Viv.  About making sure that she had no idea, and could remain innocent.  They didn’t want her to be able to get into any trouble with their plans. 

Because the real plan behind staging a riot involved them killing the man that had been harassing her since she’d become a CO. 

The warden. 

“I love you too, Viv…”

“I have to go take a group of guys to the showers,” she said slowly, not really wanting to leave him alone with the warden, “but Magda will be up in a few minutes.  He just wanted to step out for a second.”

“You’re not coming back up?”

“I should be back up by the time Lee is done talking to you!”

He nodded, knowing that may not be the case. 

“You have to keep her far away from it when it happens.” Ransom said firmly as he looked at his boyfriend, “I don’t want Viv anywhere near that situation when it goes down.”

“And what about you, huh?” Ari asked as he stroked Ransom’s cheek, “what happens to you if you can’t handle yourself up there?”

“You don’t think I could handle myself against that fat fuck?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It’s what it sounds like,” Ransom said grumpily y to his boyfriend, “it sounds like you don’t trust me to actually get the job done!”

“Hey…hey, it’s not that,” Ari said reassuringly to the younger man, “I just…I know that you’re not really a killer.  You’re not a monster like that piece of shit is.  And I don’t put it past him to fight dirty.  Especially knowing that you’re going up there to kill him, Drysdale.”

Ransom’s jaw twitched.

He hadn’t really thought much about the plan.  

Sure, he’d known that he was going to be the one to kill Lee Bodecker.  He and Ari had discussed it at length.  But it never really set in and became a real thing to him.  It’d only been a fantasy.  Never a reality.

“It’s not too late you know,” Ari said to his boyfriend in an attempt to reach out to him, “I can be the one that asks to speak to the warden.  Say that I’m the one that has information about contraband getting in.  It-It doesn’t have to be you, Hugh.”

“They’d never believe it,” Ransom said with a shake of his head, “you’d have nothing to gain by telling them what’s going on in the prison if it was you with the intel.”

“I’ve actually killed someone though, Hugh,” he said gently, “I know what it means to be responsible for taking a life…”

Ransom took a deep breath before looking at Ari again, “you don’t think I can do it?”

“I didn’t say that,” he tried once more, “just…that kind f thing.   It sticks with you, Hugh.  If you don’t think you can do it, I won’t be mad.  You know that I’d kill for you and Viv.”

“And so would I!”

“I know, baby boy!” he sighed, stroking Ransom’s face once more, “I just don’t want  you to think that it’s your responsibility!”

“It’s not yours either!” he said in a quick reply, “you just make sure Viv is safe.  I’ll make sure Bodecker is taken care of…okay?”

Ari sighed, agreeing with Ransom’s plan.  He pulled the younger man towards himself and pressed their lips together, making both men feel the sparks that they loved about their relationship.  When Ari pulled away, he was slow to pull the home made shiv from his jumpsuit, before placing it into Ransom’s hands.  Ransom’s eyes met his.

“What is this?”

“Just in case…” Ari offered as his forehead leaned against Ransom’s, “we both know that Bodecker won’t fight a clean fight…and I want you to have every advantage that you can have.  Put it in your pocket.  We both know that Viv won’t search you before she lets you into the warden’s office.”

“Okay…”

“Hugh…”

“Yeah?” Ransom asked, his eyes meeting Ari’s once more.

“I love you…”

“I love you too, Ari!”

“Why do you look so nervous?” Ransom asked, holding onto her hand as she went to turn away.  She shook her head at him, but he didn’t let it go.

“I-I just have a bad feeling about today, that’s all.”

“Everything will be fine…”

She nodded and let go of his hands, “I-I’ve been having the dream again…”

Ransom sighed.  

He knew very well about the nightmare that she’d been having in the weeks since Lee had last taken her.

“The one where there’s a riot and Bodecker kills me and Ari?”

“I-it changed,” she admitted slowly, “i-I was there.  And instead of Lee killing you, he tried to rape me.  You weren’t there…Ari burst in and killed Lee…but we couldn’t find you!”

“hey…I’m right here…”

“I know.”

“And we’re working on my case,” he reminded her, “me and you…you got Linda talking to me again.  You have her believing me…”

“Because you’re innocent.”

“That’s all because of you though…you do so much good for me…” he chuckled, “the conversation with Lee will be quick.  You’ll see.  Might even be done before you get back to the block and bring the guys to the showers.   You’ll see.”

He knew that he was lying, but he wanted, more than anything, to put her mind at ease.

“You’re right,” she sighed, “I-I just, can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen…and that dream-“

“Is just a dream!” he reminded her, cutting her off, “I talked to Linda…told her about how Bodecker was assaulting you…she’s going to talk to the gov-“

“Hugh-“

“I told her that I wanted to marry you!”

She froze, “y-you what?”

“I told Linda about everything…how we fell in love even though you’re a CO,” he said quickly, “about how you believed in me when no one else did.  About how there’s so much evidence that I didn’t do it, just glaring at them, but they wanted to believe the worst in me…and I told her about how despite how we’re treated in here you stand up for us…even when Bodecker assaulted you…”

“But you sai-“

“I said that because of all of that, I came to realize just how in love with you I was…and that I need to get out of here, because I want to marry you…”

She froze, “Hugh…”

“When I get out…I’m going to buy you a ring..show you exactly how much I’m telling the truth.”

“I believe you.”

“So…will you?” he asked gently, “I-I know that I don’t have the ring just yet and-“

“Yes!”

Ransom smiled, “you will?”

“Yes…” she nodded again, rushing him once more to pull him back against her own petite frame.   Ransom smiled, unable to stop himself, as he leaned into the kiss, “I love you Hugh!”

“I love you too, Viv,” he said before pulling away, “now…go do your rounds…and tell Ari that you said yes..”

“Ari…”

Ransom smiled, “don’t worry…we talked about it…he’s got first dibs on something else…but I told him I was going to marry you first!”

Ari smiled at her while he lathered up his body, and Viv found herself unable to look away from him.  He was teasing her.  There was no doubt about that.

“Like what you see, officer?”

“I guess you could say that,” she smiled gently at the inmate.  Ari smiled at her brazen response, “so…”

“He already did it, didn’t he?” he asked. She smiled this time, unable to keep the look off of her face, and Ari chuckled, “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“How long have the two of you been planning this?” she asked gently. 

“Oh longer than you know,” he chuckled, allowing himself to get sprayed down by the water, “did he tell you what I got dibs on?”

“No…do you want to enlighten me?”

“He gets you to take his last name,” he answered in kind, “and I…I get to create a legacy, first.”

“A legacy?”

The words sat in the air for a second, before she processed just what Ari was saying.  Her eyes widened at the implication, “Ari…are you saying-“

“Hugh and I want a future with you, Viv…that means everything.”

“But you-“

“We’ve got it worked out…we know that you stopped taking your birth control a while ago…that’s why we haven’t had sex with you…we weren’t sure whether or not that was something you wanted.”

“Of course I want that…”

He nodded, finishing the process of rinsing himself off, “good.”

But before the conversation could progress any further, the lights went out.  Everything, even down to the water turned off. She felt her chest tightening. 

The red emergency lights came on, and worry instantly flooded her, “Ari…”

“Don’t worry baby….”

A few of the inmates hurried to get their clothes on, and Viv saw another CO come into the shower room.

“Adam…what’s going on?”

“Riot!” he said quickly, before looking to the prisoners who were now mostly dressed, “All of you stay where you are.  The power went out for a minute.  And the generators are working on coming back on…”

“I’m leaving!” Inmate Barnes said firmly as he pulled on his shirt, “something’s not right!”

“I said stay where you are, inmate Barnes!” Adam said, stepping into the shower area where Barnes was glaring at him.  He pulled out his baton and Barnes took a step forward. 

Before Viv could step into the area, Ari was in front of her, keeping her away from the unfolding scene. 

“You don’t want to interrupt, baby!” he said quickly, shielding her from the view of the CO getting his head bashed in.  She jumped when she heard the sickening crack of his skull, and the squelching noise that followed, “lean into me, baby.  Block out the noise!”

Viv tried to do just that, focusing instead on Ari’s heartbeat. 

She could hear the rhythm, and while she knew he probably looked calm and collected, his heartbeat betrayed him, letting her know just how anxious he truly was. 

“It’s okay, baby…” Ari cooed, smoothing down her hair. 

“Where the hell is the other CO?”

Her eyes shot open when she heard the inmates asking about her.

“I’d tap that pretty thing into-“

“She’s Levinsons,” Barnes said briskly, shooting the other men a look, “if any of you were smart you wouldn’t waste your time on her…this might be the only shot some of you animals have at getting out of here for good.”

A few of the inmates seemed to agree with Barnes, and instead of targeting her, made their way to the door and into the hall, where the riot was starting to get loud.  Barnes looked at Viv and Levinson and Ari gripped Viv a little bit tighter, “don’t even think about it, Barnes?”

“We gonna have a problem if I leave, CO?” he asked darkly. 

Viv shook her head quickly, instead choosing to cling to Ari, and Barnes took his chance to leave. 

“Don’t be scared, Viv,” Ari encouraged, “no one is going to hurt you, baby…not so long as I’m here.”

“Ari…what about Hugh?” she asked nervously, her eyes going wide as she thought about the other person in their couple, “oh god.  He’s with Lee.  Ari, Lee will-“

“Drysdale will be fine, sweetheart!”

Her eyes shot to his, “y-you knew about this…the riot…Ari, please tell me that you and Ransom weren’t involved in it!”

“You know that I can’t say that, baby…”

Her throat went dry as she saw her boyfriend in an entirely new light, “Ari…what did you and Hugh plan to do today?”

Chapter 11

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

[blooming-violets]

Pinky Promise Rewrite|| Ch. 1

[TASM Peter Parker x female OC]

Summary: The fate of the one she loves most is put into the hands of a masked stranger, forever entwining their lives. 

Major Overall Series Warnings: 18+ smut, mental health triggers (ptsd/depression/panic attacks/a suicide attempt from a child/trauma), a retelling of forced sexual assault and manipulation, kidnapping of a minor

Chapter One Warnings: suicide attempt from a child, mention of a parent on drugs (heroin) and another in jail, childhood bullying and childhood depression

A/N: This is a rewrite of my very first fic on this blog. The original was written in second person. I wanted to rewrite it properly in third person and write Lucy how I imagined her instead of making her a reader insert style character. I also wanted to add some lost scenes and darken up the tones of how I originally wanted to tell this story. It’s a ten chapter fic. I know it’s going to get hardly any notes, especially as it’s a story I’ve told before, but my brain is telling me that I need to rewrite this. I can’t rest until I do. This one is completely self indulgent. If you want to give it a read, go for it. If not, that’s okay too and I’ll see you again when I post something fresh and new. xoxo Katie

Pinky Promise || Chapter One || The Fall

The heavy vibration of the phone rumbling in her pocket dragged her from distant thoughts. 

Lucy hurried to push open her apartment door, throwing her shoulder against it as it was prone to sticking, and quickly shoved her way inside. She dropped her bag of cleaning supplies on the ground and fished the phone from her apron. 

Dread filled her stomach as she caught sight of the caller id.

“Midtown Elementary Academy”

Olivia’s school. She closed her eyes and slumped against the door with a groan. Not again. This would be the fourth time this week she received a call from them and the ninth time this month. Olivia was on the fast track to expulsion if she kept this up. 

Lucy steadied her breathing, clearing her throat to sound more professional as she answered, “Yes, hello?” 

“Ms. Miller? This is Diane Fleming, Olivia’s teacher.” 

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. Mrs. Fleming always acted as if this was the first time Lucy was hearing of her. They’ve only had this conversation a million times before. Lucy bit her tongue and kept up a pleasant, nonchalant, attitude, “Oh, hello. What can I do for you today, Mrs. Fleming?” 

She listened to the exasperated tones in the older woman’s voice and knew whatever was coming next wasn’t going to be good. 

“I was wondering if you could come in this afternoon? The incidents we have been discussing have become more frequent. Olivia’s behavior is getting out of control. I think it would be best if the three of us could sit down with the school counselor and talk about this in person.”

Her nightmares were coming to fruition. Getting involved with a counselor would only spark more judgment on their little family. At 23 years old, most people didn’t take her very seriously as a caregiver. They’d take one look at Olivia, do the math in their heads, and come to the conclusion that Lucy probably had her when she was around 16. They wouldn’t be wrong except for the fact that Olivia wasn’t her daughter. She was her sister. That nugget of truth would only open up even more unwanted speculation on their lives. It was like she could see their brains churning through the questions they would never dare ask. Were their parents dead or just deadbeats? Should we pity them with sadness for being orphans or pity them with prejudice for having useless parents? Either way, they were constantly being looked down on. 

Lucy sighed, “What did she do now?” 

Olivia was struggling this year at her new school. Second grade had not been kind to her. Midtown Academy was a dream school for them. Being a private school, if a kid wasn’t from a wealthy family, then they needed to seriously impress the school board with their academic skills to have a chance at attending. Olivia was brighter than average. She was reading at a 5th grade level and had a particular knack for sciences and mathematics. Her first grade teacher was the one to recommend trying out for the annual scholarship Midtown offered each summer. It was something Lucy wouldn’t have even considered on her own. With her teacher's help and glowing recommendation, Olivia beat out every other kid for the spot. She won a full ride scholarship. A scholarship that was now hanging on by a thread due to her behavior. This was supposed to be the big break that they needed. If Olivia could succeed here, she could go on to Midtown School of Science and Technology. Her future for colleges and potential scholarships would be even brighter. It was an opportunity Lucy refused to let her miss out on. The alternative was grim compared to this gift they were given. She knew her sister was struggling but this was the best chance she had to give her a decent future. 

The student’s at this school were mean. They came from upper class families. The kind of kids who had everything handed to them their whole lives and never heard the word “no” before. Like sharks in the ocean catching the whiff of fresh blood, they could easily surmise that Olivia was different from them. She became an easy target. The tension only grew and Lucy could see how negatively it was affecting her sister. Olivia was harboring a lot of pent up anger. It consumed her soul until it had no place else to go but out. 

The call on Monday happened because, during art class, Olivia drew a very graphic picture of a classmate being brutally murdered by a man in a giant metal rhino suit. That was an interesting conversation to have with Mrs. Fleming. Lucy tried to argue that it was art class and one can not judge an artist's interpretation on their chosen subject matter. She wasn’t even sure how her sister had heard about the Rhino who once terrorized the city streets. Olivia was only a toddler back then. On Tuesday it was because, during creative writing, she wrote a horrible poem about how she wished her teacher would get paralyzed by a bus. Lucy tried to argue that the children were given a free writing prompt and that the poem was, structurally, very well written. Olivia was merely exercising her creativity and imagination, surely she didn’t actually mean what she wrote, it was nothing more than a misunderstanding. The attempt to cover for her sister was noted but not well received. On Wednesday, Olivia escalated her antics, by cutting off half her long braid in the middle of a spelling test. Lucy had no excuse for that one except that she had been meaning to get her a haircut and maybe she decided to take matters into her own hands. Thursday went by without a call, much to her relief, but it wasn’t until Olivia returned home when Lucy noticed her lip was split open and a bruise was forming on her jaw. Then it was her turn to call the school. They had a lot to say when it came to accusing Olivia of things but were very quiet when the tables were turned. They mentioned something about a brief altercation in the bathroom that afternoon but no student had come forward to take the blame. Olivia refused to talk about what happened or point any fingers. 

Now it was Friday and she was here. Another call. She waited with bated breath to hear what her little sister had gotten up to today. A hundred preplanned excuses rattled around in her head, ready to cover all her bases and, hopefully, give Olivia another extension before she got expelled.  

“Well, Ms. Miller, this afternoon, Olivia dumped a jar of spiders down the back of the young girl sitting in front of her.” 

Lucy’s eyes widened in shock. Shit. That was not something she had an excuse lined up for. How the hell did she collect a jar of spiders? Where did she even get the jar from? Why was this something that she would even think to do? The absurd imagery that came to mind was too much to handle. It was so outrageous of a thought that Lucy had to stifle a laugh. Unfortunately a quiet snort managed to push its way out through her nose. 

Mrs. Fleming picked up on it right away, “I’m sorry but do you find this behavior amusing? Olivia is a seriously disturbed child. Her behavior is unacceptable. We do not tolerate bullying in our school.” 

Any bit of humor Lucy found in the mental image of her sister carrying around a jar of spiders disappeared in an instant. Fire rose in her voice, her patience wearing thin, “What do you mean you don’t tolerate bullying? Liv came home yesterday with a busted lip and bruised face. None of you seemed to care too much about that. You acted like she did to herself! She’s 8 years old. Someone clearly attacked her in the bathroom but, because she’s a scholarship kid and not one of your elites, not a single person cared to look further into the matter. God forbid you find out that one of daddy’s little princesses beat the crap of her. You wouldn’t dare want to accuse a kid who daddy paid for the new gymnasium. It’s easier to take it out on the kid who comes from nothing because then you have nothing to lose.” 

Her anger was getting the better of her. She knew she shouldn’t let herself explode like that. Olivia’s future depended on this school. She needed to play nice but she had been working overtime lately in an attempt to manage the constant pile of bills. She should have kept a better eye on her sister. Too much work and not enough time set aside to check in on her. Olivia was slipping through her fingers. This was her fault. She was a terrible excuse for a parent. 

Mrs. Fleming sighed. Lucy could almost hear her rubbing her eyes with her hands like this entire conversation was draining her energy. “We currently have Olivia detained in the office. The mother of the young girl who was assaulted has been notified and is thinking of pressing charges. It would be best if you could come down here as soon as possible to help us figure out what the next move for Olivia should be.”

Her stomach dropped. Pressing charges? This was worse than she thought. Olivia’s school wasn’t just on the line, her whole life was. If the police got involved then social services would be sure to follow. She hated rich people. They’d have lawyers and police in their back pocket. If they wanted to press charges, her and Olivia would be screwed. 

“Okay,” she mumbled quietly, the fear evident in her voice. “I’ll come right down. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” 

Her snow boots were still on her feet, not having had any time to remove them before getting the call. She threw her winter jacket back on over her house cleaner uniform, tugging a purple knit hat over her blonde hair, and quickly hurried back out the door. Taking the five flights of stairs down to the entrance was the better option than risking the rickety, old elevator. The familiar musky smell of cigarette smoke and urine hit her nose as she barged into the stairwell. She hurried down the concrete stairs, her heavy footsteps echoing off the empty walls, and hurried out into the cold February air. The crisp chill sucked into her lungs, freezing them, and causing her to cough out puffs of misty vapor. Only this morning, her and Olivia were pretending to be dragons, exhaling breaths of smoke, as she walked her to school. She seemed so happy. Lucy never would have guessed she was secretly carrying a jar of spiders in her backpack. Weaponizing insects was not on her list of things she expected to be dealing with this week.  

Anxiety tumbled in a terrible knot in her stomach. She was failing at being a caregiver. Sometimes she thought all she had to be was kind, understanding, and loving. If she could manage that, then everything would turn out fine. Clearly, that wasn’t enough. Olivia needed help. Help that would cost money. Money that they didn’t have. She had no idea how to be a parent. Her role models were terrible. Their father was a monster. He was currently serving life on Ryker’s Island for getting involved in a drug gang run by someone with the alias Mister Brownstone. He’d help cart heroin around to known dealers and skim some off the top for his wife. Their mother was an addict and that addiction was only fueled by her husband. He liked to keep her doped up and sedated. It’s easier to manipulate people that way. 

Lucy grew up in foster care. Once she entered school, it was obvious to her teachers that something wasn’t right. There’s only so many times a little girl can come in wearing the same clothes with unwashed, lice infested hair everyday before they start to tip off social services. She bounced from foster home to foster home. About once every few years her mother would get clean, claim to have left her husband, and was trying to start fresh. Lucy would be placed back in her care. The two of them would live a happy life for about a month or so until her father would find them again and her mother would get hooked right back onto the drugs. Then it was back into the system for her. Eventually she learned to harden her heart and stop relying on parents to meet any basic needs. She could be self-sufficient. She could take care of herself. She didn’t need anyone to help her and she would make something of herself without them. 

Then Olivia was born during her sophomore year of high school. 

She knew she had a sister but she never saw much of her during her infancy. It wasn’t like she was in touch with her mother then. She tried to keep her family at an arm's length so they didn’t ruin her studies. On her 18th birthday, with five months left of high school, her mother showed up at Lucy’s door with a malnourished toddler in her arms. It was clear the child wasn’t being properly cared for. Her dreams of college, all the hard earned money she had saved, all flew out the window at the sight of her sister. Sometimes there are things in life that need to be put aside for the sake of others. Lucy’s dreams and her ideal future were some of those things. She refused to let her sister have the same life as her. She collected all the money she had, dropped out of high school, and rented a single bedroom apartment. She filed for custody of her sister. At that point, her father was already in jail, and her mother willingly signed over her rights. Olivia became her responsibility. 

And she loved it. 

She adored her baby sister. For the first time in her life, someone loved her. Really loved her. Lucy poured everything she could into Olivia. She was determined to give her the life that she missed out on. It was easier said than done. Living in the city was expensive. As a high school drop out, there weren’t many opportunities for decent paying jobs. The housekeeping job she managed to get was the best paying one she’d found so far and they still struggled to pay the bills on time. Olivia was smart. She knew she was different from the kids at her school. They came from wealth, she didn’t. She knew what her life could end up like if she didn’t thrive in this new environment. That was why it was so frustrating for Lucy. She didn’t want her sister to end up a failure. Not like her. 

The sound of sharp sirens yanked her from her spiraling thoughts. Three police cars raced by her. They were driving far too fast for these tight side streets. The wind kicked up as they passed, blowing her long hair in front of her face, and blasting her with an uncomfortable chill that cut straight through her old jacket. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and ran her icy fingers over her frozen nose. There was always something crazy happening in this city. People tend to look the other way now and continue on with their lives. If a mad scientist isn’t directly affecting their path to wherever they need to go, then it is of no concern to them. The police can pretend to deal with whatever the threat is but everyone knows it's really Spider-Man who gets their job done for them. 

Lucy watched with a mild indifference as the cop car's speed down to the end of the street. It wasn’t until they took a sharp left into the school parking lot that her throat tightened. Her limbs felt numb as the pressing anxiety constricted her blood vessels. There could be a million reasons why the police were showing up at the elementary school but none of them mattered. In her heart, she knew. 

Something was wrong with Olivia. 

Her legs were running before her thoughts even had time to process the situation. The icy sidewalks caused her boots to lose traction and she slipped forward, never losing her balance, but growing frustrated that she couldn’t run as fast as she wanted. It felt like she was trying to run in a dream, constantly being held back by an unknown force. 

By the time she rounded the corner to the school, her breath left her lungs at the sight that greeted her. The three police cars had stopped out front. Their wailing sirens were off but the lights still flashed red over all the white, blinding snow in the afternoon sun. A group of people were gathered outside. They each looked up in horror to the school roof. Bile rose in her throat as her eyes lifted to catch what they were looking at. 

Standing three stories in the air, her little black snow boots hugging the edge of the roof, was Olivia. She had climbed up onto the ledge and was staring down at the commotion below her.

The winter wind whipped her freshly cut, short, blonde hair around her face, obscuring it from view. Her skirt uniform blew around her navy tights. She wore no jacket, only her school cardigan kept her from the cold. Even from down below, Lucy could see how violently she was shaking. From fear or the cold, she didn’t know. She looked so small. So fragile. 

A piercing sob ripped out Lucy’s throat at the sight of her baby sister standing so dangerously close to the edge. It was too windy. She was too tiny. She was going to blow straight off the roof if she wasn’t careful. The sound of Lucy’s screamed cry alerted one of the teachers to her presence. He tried to make his way over to her. He tried to reach out a hand of comfort in her direction but Lucy slapped it away. They let this happen. This was their fault Olivia was up there. Someone should have been watching her. Before the teacher could open his mouth to speak, she had shoved passed him and ran straight to the front doors. She could hear someone yelling behind her to stop, that she wasn’t allowed inside, but nothing they could say would ever hold her back. 

She had no idea how to get up to the roof. This school’s layout was unfamiliar to her but she didn’t care. She found the nearest flight of stairs and dashed up, two at a time, as fast as her body would allow. Her feet hardly touched the ground before they were off again. Each flight brought her closer to her sister. As she barged up the last set of stairs, she caught sight of Mrs. Fleming, the principal, and a police officer standing next to a ladder leading up to an open hatch in the roof. They turned when they heard her heavy footsteps swiftly approaching. The melting snow on her boots caused her to slip across the laminate tiles and come to a sudden halt in front of them. 

“This area is off limits,” the officer commanded. 

“It’s okay. It’s the girl’s sister,” Mrs. Fleming quickly replied. Her eyes were filled with tears and fear was etched in every line of her face. “Olivia won’t let us get close to her. Every time we tried, she backed further away. Once she hit the edge, we had to retreat in the hopes that she would come down. She’s threatening to jump.” 

The ever pressing feeling of bile in her throat rose again. Lucy swallowed it back down.

“Move,” she ordered, elbowing them out of her way to get to the ladder. “I’ll get her myself.” 

They didn’t argue with her but the officer grabbed her elbow as she started to climb, “Be careful. Talk to her calmly and gently. Try to get her to move far enough away from the edge until she’s not in immediate danger. We have a firetruck on the way with a ladder but it’s stuck in traffic. An ambulance just arrived and is standing by if she falls-” 

The rest of his words faded into a loud buzzing sound as her hearing abandoned her. If she falls? No. Not her Liv. She wasn’t going to fall. She was going to be fine. Lucy was going to get her and bring her back safely. This was her baby sister. There would be no falling. She needed to get Olivia back into the safety of her arms. She would protect her. She would keep her safe just like she always did. 

Lucy shrugged her arm away from the officer and continued her mission. The old metal ladder creaked under her weight with each step. She tried not to picture Olivia making this same climb. She didn’t want to think about why the hatch was left unlocked in the first place. It would only fill her with anger and she needed to be level headed right now even though her thoughts were buzzing into nothing but a ringing static. Blinding sunlight reflecting off the snow shone into her eyes as she crawled her way out onto the roof. The sky was too blue, too perfect, for any of this to be happening. 

As she clambered onto shaky legs, Lucy looked across the roof. There was her sweet, little sister. Her back turned to her as she looked down at the ground below her. No more than fifty feet from her and, yet, she felt like a lifetime away. Tears sprang to her eyes at the sight. 

“Liv!” Lucy called out, her voice wavering, but trying to remain calm so she didn’t scare her into losing her balance. “Livvy, it’s me. It’s Lucy. I’m here. It’s okay, baby. I’m here now. You’re safe. You’re okay.” She took a few careful steps towards her, the ice under her feet making it hard to stay upright. 

Olivia turned around on the ledge. Her legs shook unsteadily under her. Her lips were blue and shivering. Her cheeks were stained bright red from the wind whipping around her. There were tears spilling down her face. She looked so broken. So scared. All Lucy wanted was to run straight to her, scoop her up protectively in her arms, and carry her far away from here. 

“They want to take me away!” She shouted back. Her tiny voice got lost in the whistling wind drowning her out. “I heard them talking when I was in the principal's office! Ashley said they were going to put me in jail for what I did. She said I was no better than my daddy. She said I would never see you again!” 

Lucy’s heart broke at hearing the pain in her sister’s voice. She guessed that Ashley was the one who got spidered this afternoon. There was no time to contemplate her absolute hatred for that kid. She could save that rage for later. Olivia was more important. Lucy took another tentative step towards her, trying to carefully close the gap between them without being obvious. 

“No one is going to take you away from me, Olivia. I won’t let them. Please,” she begged. “Please, Livvy, I need you to carefully step down, okay? I need you to let me come get you and I will take you away from here.” 

As Lucy took another step forward, Olivia inched back. Her heels now hung off the side of the building. A collective, horrified gasp echoed from the people below. Someone began shouting in a megaphone up at her. The voice got muffled against the howling wind and only added to the stress happening above. She could see the panic start to rise in Olivia’s eyes as they darted back and forth, looking for a way out, but finding none. 

She shook her head with a pained cry, “Stop it, Lucy! Don’t come any closer! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone…I want everyone to leave me alone…please. Please.” Her shoulder shook with quiet sobs. 

Despair and desperation filled her heart, “Okay! Okay! I won’t come any closer! Just stop moving! You need to stop moving, Olivia! I’m begging you. Don’t move. Stay still. We can talk about it as long as you stop moving.” 

Olivia wiped tears from her eyes, her bottom lip shook uncontrollably, “You don’t know anything, Lucy. You don’t know what it’s like to go to this school. I hate these people! I miss my old school. I miss my friends. They were nice. They were like me. Not here. Not these kids. They’re all horrible!” She hugged her wool cardigan tighter around her small frame. “I want to disappear. Go away. Leave me alone. Let me go away.” 

She was breaking her heart with every word. Lucy took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. All she needed to do right now was get her off the ledge as quickly as possible. She’d say or agree to anything if it meant having her sister safe in her arms again. “I hear you, Liv. I hear you, okay? But I’m not going anywhere. I am not leaving. I am never leaving you. You’re my world, Livvy. I need you to come down so we can talk about this. We can’t have this conversation up here. It’s too cold. You’re going to freeze. You don’t even have a jacket. Come down and I’ll bring you home. I’ll make you some hot chocolate. We can make a blanket fort. And we can talk about finding you a new school. Whatever you need, Liv. If you tell me that you want to move the Alaskan wilderness then, fuck it, we’ll move to Alaska! We can do anything you want! But we can’t start that conversation until you let me come get you. I’ll walk over really carefully, hold your hand, and help you down, okay? Let me come over to you. Please?” 

“I’m no good…” Her voice could scarcely be heard over the wind. She sounded so powerless and lost. How could Lucy have ever let things get this bad? “”Everyone told me so. I’m going to be in jail like daddy. I’m not smart. They said I faked my way into this school. I’m a bad person. Even the principal said so. She said I did bad things. Ashley’s mom called the police on me. I see them down there. If I get down, they’re going to arrest me. I don’t want to leave you, Lucy.” 

No eight year old should ever have that kind of weight on her shoulders. She should have been more observant. She should have fought harder for her. Lucy knew she was struggling but she should have realized how bad it really was. She was a terrible sister. 

“I’m sorry, Livvy. I’m so sorry,” she sniffled and offered her sister a sad smile. “I didn’t know how bad it was. Now I do. I’m going to make it better. I’m going to get you some help, okay? The police down there aren’t here to arrest you. They just want to make sure that you’re safe. Once you come down, they’ll go away. I’ll keep you safe.” She inched her way closer as she spoke. “You’re not a bad person, Liv. You’re the smartest kid I ever met. All those other kids are just jealous because you got into this school based on how smart you really are. They had to pay their way to get in. They try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. It’s not your fault. You’re going to grow up and change the world someday but you need to be around to do that. I need you. I need you with me. Without you, I’m nothing. You’re my everything. You’re my family. I promise I will keep you safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” She was so close to her now. Slowly, Lucy reached out a trembling hand for her to take. “Please. Let me bring you home, Olivia. Let’s go.” 

Olivia looked up, locking eyes with her, and gave a soft nod of acceptance. Sorrow burned behind her teary eyes. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. Lucy’s words had struck something in her and she was tired and ready to go home. Her hand reached out to grab onto the one already outstretched. It was so close. Lucy could almost feel her skin against her, her safely just within reach…when a large gust of wind pushed past them. The force staggered Olivia, the ice under her caused her boot to lose its footing. Her eyes widened in fear and her mouth hung open in a silent gasp. 

Lucy watched in pure terror as her eight year old sister tumbled backwards, out of her grasp, and over the edge of the building. 

A heart wrenching scream ripped from her chest as her hand grabbed onto nothing but cold air. 

Time slowed. 

Nothing but the sound of her own horrified shrieks filled her ears. 

One second she had been there, and the next, she was gone. 

Empty space where she once stood. 

It felt like she was wading through waist high mud as Lucy ran to the ledge after her. She couldn’t get there fast enough like the world was trying to hold her back from whatever horrors she would see on the other side. She threw her body across the ledge, the sharp edges digging into her ribs, as she looked down below her. 

Her brain couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. 

Olivia was gone. 

Not dead. 

There was no splattered, tiny body painting red across the white ground. 

She was just…gone. 

No body in sight. 

Nothing. 

Lucy scanned the crowd, the parking lot, even the wall to see if she had somehow caught herself and was desperately trying to hang on. There was nothing. No sign that Olivia had ever been there, as if it was nothing but a horrible dream. She had vanished into thin air. Like she never existed at all. 

The panic gripped in Lucy’s chest and her breath came in short, frenzied gasps. The hysteria numbed her body. Her fingers still tingled with the ghost of Olivia’s hand grazing hers as she fell. She stumbled back from the edge, wide eyed with disorientation, as her legs gave out. The ice below her knees cut through her jeans and dug into her skin. 

“Liv…” she called out meekly. 

She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel. 

A wailed sob got stuck in her throat. Her heart was pounding. Nothing was real. Nothing mattered except Olivia. 

Someone cleared their throat directly behind her. Lucy gasped and whipped her head around so fast that she tumbled onto her backside in shock. The freezing coldness of the roof seeped through her pants and clawed up her skin until she could feel nothing but ice. 

Standing above her was New York City’s very own Spider-Man. Clinging to his chest, her head buried deep into the crook of his neck, was Olivia. 

Lucy’s eyes widened, tears blurring her vision, as relief flooded her veins. Just as quickly as she had vanished from her life, she had reappeared. 

“I thought you might want this back,” he spoke with a muffled voice through his mask as he nodded his head to Olivia. 

Every emotion in the world rushed through her as Lucy scrambled to her feet and threw her arms around both Spider-Man and her sister, squishing her protectively between the two of them. Lucy’s body shook with loud, unabashed sobs. 

She was safe. Olivia was safe. The world was okay again. 

Lucy clung to the two of them. Her head was spinning and she was starting to feel lightheaded. Holding onto his sturdy frame was the only thing keeping her upright. She was terrified that if she let go then Olivia would disappear again. As long as she was pressed between her and the masked man, Liv was safe. Lucy wanted to keep her that way for as long as she could. Her baby girl was safe. 

With a light whimper, she finally let go long enough to collect her sister from her savior’s arms. Olivia released her death grip on Spider-Man and turned it onto Lucy instead, wrapping her legs around her waist, and clinging on like she was just as scared to let go. Lucy sunk to the ground and cradled her against her chest like she used to when Olivia was baby. She brushed her fingers over her frozen face, feeling her, making her sure she was really there. She was cold but she was alive. Lucy quickly shrugged her winter jacket off and wrapped it around her sister. They were both in shock, unable to form any words, unable to move, other than to cling onto each other and cry. 

Safe. 

She was safe. 

Lucy had to keep repeating that over and over again in her head until it finally started to sink in. 

Spider-Man watched quietly, allowing them to have their moment, before finally squatting down in front of them. He reached out a gloved hand and ruffled Olivia’s hair, “I think she’ll be alright. I caught her pretty quickly. I’d still get her checked out at a hospital thought to be safe. I could feel how cold she was through my suit. They’ll want to take her vitals and make sure she doesn’t have hypothermia or frostbite anywhere.” 

The sound of another person’s voice was enough to snap the two of them out of the world they had created between them. Olivia’s eyes welled up with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m sorry! I’ll never do that again. I was so scared. I’m sorry, Lucy. Don’t let them take me to jail!” 

“Hey, now!” Spider-Man shuffled closer to her and placed a hand protectively on her back. “Who said anything about taking you to jail?”

Olivia peeked her head out from Lucy’s chest, looking up at him with wet, scared eyes, “I put spiders down Ashley’s shirt and her mom said I would go to jail for being bad.” 

Spider-Man paused, allowing a beat of silence to settle, then burst out into a loud laugh. It was the most angelic sound Lucy had ever heard. Maybe it was because he had just saved Olivia’s life and, therefore, became the most important man in the world to her but Lucy was filled with a deep love for the masked stranger. His laughter cut through some of her own tension and she let out an unintentional giggle. Call it a trauma response, but suddenly, the thought of Olivia dumping a jar of spiders down some asshole bully’s shirt was the funniest thing in the world to her. Tears of laughter streamed down her face. Once they started, they couldn’t stop. The reality of school bully’s and scholarships felt so small now that her entire perception of the world had shifted. Her sister was safe. She was alive. Everything else pales in comparison. 

Olivia looked between the laughing pair with utter confusion, “What’s so funny?!”

Lucy did her best to stifle the raging emotions and nuzzled her face into Olivia’s hair, “Sorry, baby. I’m just happy you’re safe.” She could feel her body finally start to relax. Olivia was safe. She kept reminding herself of that fact. She was safe thanks to Spider-Man. Her day was unexpectedly filled with more spiders than she ever could have possibly anticipated. She took a deep breath to calm herself. So many emotions in so little time. 

“I bet Ashley deserved it,” Spider-Man replied. She couldn’t see his face but she heard the smile in his voice. “I’m friends with those officers down there. One word from me and they won’t even think about sending you to jail. I won’t let anyone take you. I promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” Olivia reached out a shaky hand to her new hero and extended her pinky. 

“Pinky promise.” 

Lucy watched as Spider-Man locked fingers with her sister. 

“Now let’s get you both down from here and out of the cold,” he said. “I don’t want either of you to freeze to death on my watch.” 

He helped pull Lucy to her feet with ease as she held Olivia close to her chest. His hand rested dutifully on the small of her back, making sure they didn’t slip, as he led them towards the hatch. 

“Mr. Spider-Man?” Olivia asked as she stared over in amazement at him.  

“Please, call me Spidey. Mr. Spider-Man was my father.” 

Lucy rolled her eyes and hid a smile at the joke but it went straight over Olivia’s head, “Okay, Mr. Spidey, will you come over to our apartment for dinner?” 

She hushed her sister, “Absolutely not. He’s a busy man, Liv. He can’t stop by people’s houses for dinner whenever he rescues someone. He doesn’t have time for that. Besides, how can he eat if he can’t take his mask off?” The thought of the famous Spider-Man sitting in full costume with the two of them at their tiny, beat up kitchen table made her smile again. It felt nice to smile.

Olivia gasped, “He can’t take off his mask? Is it glued onto his head? Mr. Spidey, is your mask glued to your head?”

“Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, Liv. I meant he can’t reveal his secret identity. Just drop it, okay?” She sighed. “We have to worry about you first. You caused quite a lot of chaos for such a small child. I’m going to have to do a lot of damage control here.” 

She stopped at the hatch. Down below she could see two paramedics waiting at the bottom of the ladder. 

“I’m going to lower you down now, alright?” She said, “Those nice people down there will help you on the ladder. I’ll be right behind you.” 

It physically hurt her to let Olivia leave her tight grasp but there was no way Lucy would be able to get down while carrying her. She watched, holding back her sudden feelings of panic, as her sister climbed into the arms of the people below. 

Before Olivia fully disappeared, she poked her head back up, “Thank you for saving me, Mr. Spidey. I hope you come visit me for dinner some day, even if your mask is glued to your head.” With that, she ducked back down.

Lucy didn’t want to leave her alone for too long. The idea of her being out of her sight for any longer than a minute was too much to handle. Still, she felt the need to thank Spider-Man herself. He had saved her entire world today. Without him, she probably would have thrown herself off the roof right after Olivia. He was the reason they were still breathing. He was the reason they had a second chance. 

“Thank you,” she spoke softly to him, the exhaustion starting to settle into her bones after the panic she’d experienced. “I don’t know how to express to you what you did today. You saved my sister. She’s my entire world. She’s my everything. You saved her when I couldn’t.” Tears brimmed in her eyes as she pulled him into a hug. Lucy could feel his muscles tense under the suit at the sincerity of the embrace. He gingerly wrapped his arms around her to hug her back, opting to stay silent, but pouring his own gratitude into the embrace. She could tell he was thankful that he was there to save the day, too. 

Her eyes closed as she felt this stranger hold her tightly.

No, not a stranger. A hero. Her hero. 

“Thank you,” she whispered again before placing a soft kiss against his masked cheek. 

With one last grateful look, she pulled away and climbed down after her sister, leaving Spider-Man behind. 

[Chapter Two]

A/N: If you’ve read this far and enjoyed what you read, please give it a reblog! Reblogs make the world go round and help support tumblr writers. It would be very much appreciated. 

If you want to be added to a tag list for this story, let me know and I’ll gladly tag you, but only if you reblog. That’s my new rule. 

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Snape vs Hama - When a Victim Becomes a Villain

So I was thinking about how victims become abusers and how their victimhood does not excuse their crimes as abusers. It is a valid explanation and it should provoke some level of empathy but the crime should never be totally condoned just because the abuser was a victim.

Which made me think of Snape vs. Hama for some reason.

In Harry Potter, Snape is considered a grey character while in ATLA Hama is an outright villain. While many Snape haters and antis claim Snape is not a hero but a villain, Snape's actions were nowhere near condemned on the same level compared to Hama's actions in ATLA. But why is that? For me, the main difference lies in how they retaliated against their abusers or the ones who committed crimes against them. Let me start with Snape.

Snape

So Snape was bullied mercilessly by the marauders while in school. Some of their actions were outright criminal. Including attempted murder (werewolf prank) and sexual assault (Snape's Worst Memory). As an adult, he became a death eater but then turned to the good side when his actions, in part, led to Lily Potter, his former friend, being murdered. It does not matter how the redemption happened - the point is that he had one.

But just because Snape had a redeeming moment did not make him into a sunshine cinamon roll. He detested Harry, the son of the man who made his school days hell, and always made sure Harry knew his dad was vile trash. He picked on Neville for being a clumsy student. He degraded Hermione for being an annoying know-it-all student.

But despite all this...Snape ultimately did more good towards the ones who hurt him. He saved Harry's life multiple times despite Harry always mistrusting his intentions and Harry always being proven wrong about Snape. He protected Neville in book 7 from the Carrows. He diligently brewed Lupin wolfsbane potion despite Lupin almost killing him years back and borderline gaslighting their awful past when they worked as coworkers (always calling Snape by his first name like they are friends and calling past bullying an old schoolboy grudge). He carried Sirius back on a stretcher in book 3 like a decent person while Sirius indifferently banged his head against the wall when he levitated Snape in the same book. He acts civilly towards Sirius and Lupin despite showing signs of still being wary of them.

Snape was not a pleasant teacher and not what someone would call nice, but ultimately he was a good person. Or at least he was not evil.

Hama

Hama has a tragic backstory as well. More than Snape. She was taken prisoner as a young woman and kept in an inhumane prison for years/decades. She was cut off from her element and had little hope of ever returning home. You can also imply that she was probably physically and/or sexually abused as well even if the show never indicates so. It's a prison so the possibility is high.

Fortunately, she is able to use bloodbending to escape. She then settles in a small fire nation town. I do not know when, but she then begins to use her skills to kidnap people from the town during full moons and hold them prisoner. I do not know how long she did this or if she committed these acts in various towns, but it is long enough for villagers to be cautious and give warnings about the full moon.

What makes Hama villainous is who she is attacking. We could empathize with her if she went on a rampage attacking fire nation soldiers or other fire nation prison guards. Kind of like Red Hood from Batman. The fire nation committed a grave injustice against her after all. However, she chooses to attack innocent fire nation citizens. Citizens who likely played no role in her captivity and have minimal roles in the war. Fire nation citizens who are likely also struggling in their own way during the war. The fire nation citizens, the working class in particular, are war victims as well. Moreover, there was nothing stopping her from going home. There was even a theory that Yon Rah came to the Southern water tribe looking for an escaped Hama, not Katara! She chose to stay in the land that oppressed her and hurt people in acts of revenge. She never even appeared to free others as well!

Unlike Snape who chose a different path once confronted with the consequences of his actions, Hama only doubled down and tried to bring Katara down with her. Even when Katara beats Hama, Hama suffers no remorse and laughs as she is led away by the townspeople.

Conclusion

I feel sorry for Hama. It's obvious her time in prison broke her. As for Snape, life dealt him a bad hand. Both were victims but only one chose to make her life's mission to hurt people. In the end, most of Snape's offences boil down to harsh words. Hopefully, Firelord Zuko was able to give other waterbender prisoners the justice they deserved.

PS: I think Hama should have just murdered all the guards, freed the other prisoners, and then gone back home or settled down in a quiet town.

For Snape, he should have left Hogwarts long ago. If possible, he should have transferred to another school because all Hogwarts did was lead him into a cult and turned a blind eye to his suffering. He should have played no role in the war at all and tossed Lily aside permanently. Harry should have never been Snape's problem. Maybe opening up his own potion business and leaving the country entirely, far away from Hogwarts and Cokesworth. Voldemort and Dumbledore both did not give a crap about him.

That's just my take.

[farie-insignias]

Revised Chapter 18 of AE

Hi everyone! I hope you're doing well!!!! Yes, I'm still alive.

The following post will address the topic of SA - just to warn you, so if you have any triggers, please be mindful when reading.

After thinking about it for several, several months, I’ve decided to go back and rewrite part of Chapter 18: Photographic Evidence – namely, the section dealing with Caroline’s trauma. There are several reasons for this and I’ll list them below.

Firstly, I just didn’t like how I handled the subject matter. When I set out to write this story I had no intention of ever addressing the subject of sexual assault in any concrete way. I mean, it’s a stark and terrible reality of the world that many woman, unfortunately, have to deal with, and I knew I might brush against it as I painted a picture of Bonnie’s experiences in 1864, but I had no intention of diving any further into it than that. That simply wasn’t what this story was going to be about, and I know writing about a character that has gone through something like that should be done with thoughtfulness and respect.

So, why did I even bother trying in the first place?

I’ve responded to a few reviews asking me this very question, and the answer is pretty simple: timing. That’s what it boils down to. Just as I was gearing up to write the moment between Caroline and Bonnie, a video started making the rounds on Tumblr. It was of a woman talking about the media’s representation of assault culture and how it needed to change, and I believe she even used Caroline as an example of this – how all she does is shove Damon and call him a jerk in response to remembering that he assaulted her.

Some of you old hats might remember which video I’m talking about.

It was an interesting video, very well articulated points – and suddenly I felt very unsure about how I wanted to handle the Caroline/Bonnie scene I was about to write. Personally, even to this day, I don’t really think about a vampire’s compulsion in terms of how it would function in the real world – though that could make for an interesting exploration and for a very gritty and grounded series. Basically, I don’t think too deeply about the realistic consequences of a vampire using their naturally given powers – especially on a show like The Vampire Diaries. Maybe if this were The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones, I might have thought about it more, but…

As it was, I started to wonder: was I a part of the problem? Should I be addressing this? Would it be wrong of me to ignore it? Do I really believe Caroline views what happened to her in those terms?

If Caroline existed in the real world, I would say a thousand percent yes. But the Caroline in The Vampire Diaries? No, I honestly don’t think she does. I don’t think ANY of the characters do. For exactly the same reason as the young woman was addressing in the video: none of the writers saw it as sexual assault.

Which left me in a weird position – did I go along with the established portrayal of Caroline (which would be the easy thing to do) or did I bite the bullet and talk about what was on everyone’s mind at the time? Tbh, I wasn’t convinced I should touch it, because I deeply believe that sexual assault isn’t something that should be marginalized in a story and, if it’s going to be addressed it needs to be at the forefront.

But I also believe in signs from God… And a video popping up, just when you’re about to write a character’s perspective on another character, talking about the very same said character and how their justified hatred for other said character has been watered down… I mean, it seemed like a pretty clear sign to me.

In the end, we know what I chose. It simply felt like it would be wrong of me to try and sweep it under the rug. So, I took a swing at it… and I missed.

I got an extremely insightful review from someone named Miss 45 that really helped me realise how far off the mark I was with my attempt. I am eternally grateful to this person, because I now know what to avoid doing if I ever tackle this subject matter again in the future.

They also said, and I quote – “Tbh, when I think about bamon as a ship I usually pretend that it didn't happen bcs I can't imagine Bonnie ever doing that to Caroline […]”

And they are completely right! Especially looking back, I can see that now. The only reason I could write the scene and have it turn out fairly acceptable was because I was focused on Bonnie’s experiences/emotions and not Caroline’s – which was selfish of me as a writer. At the time, I had thought I had addressed the issue, but I really hadn’t. At least not in a way that represented Caroline’s trauma realistically.

So, I made a promise to myself and to Miss 45, that when I did address the issue again, as I was planning to at least once or twice more, I would do a better job.

Which brings us to where we are now, because the closer I get to talking about what happened to Caroline again and how it affects, not only her, but also Bonnie/Damon’s potential relationship… I realize there is no feasible way to do it and stay true to the characters/have a happy ending.

I’ve been wracking my brain about it for ages now. If I want to honestly do a good job, I realize I would have to dedicate far more of the story than I’m willing to on the subject of Caroline/Damon.

And not just because, if I’m being true to Bonnie, she wouldn’t be able to write off what Damon did to Caroline for her own happiness, no matter what Caroline said (which realistically Caroline wouldn’t want her doing either – who would want that?). But Damon wouldn’t be able to forgive himself either.

I honestly, with every fiber of my being, don’t believe Damon views what he did as sexual assault. Which is not to excuse him, but his understanding of the situation is definitely not objective. If he ever did come to understand the full extent of his actions I think that knowledge would destroy him. He’s a lot of things – proudly a monster who will cross many a line, but I can’t imagine he would ever cross that one. At least, not knowingly. So, if his perception of himself and his actions were to change so fundamentally, and in such a negative way… if he were to see himself fully for what he actually is and what he actually did... He already has issues with self-hatred…

Yeah, all the Damon scenarios in my head got pretty dark, pretty quickly.

I realized that if I wanted Bonnie and Damon to have any chance of being together, Damon would have to go on a very long journey towards recovery – which completely changed what the story was about and was something I wasn’t willing to do.

So, in order to tell the story I originally set out to tell, I made the decision to retcon Caroline and Bonnie’s forest conversation in Chapter 18 and make it into something that better serves the purposes of the story as a whole. *deep sigh* I’m not 1000% happy with this decision, but I do believe it’s the right decision to make. I think the story will, ultimately, be stronger for it.

I hope this doesn’t upset anyone. I understand if people think I’m being cowardly or even selfish for deciding not to pursue the topic anymore (and I would agree with you completely). I feel it would take a far more educated, sensitive and talented writer than myself to be able to do that particular storyline justice in the story I’m setting out to tell. But I’ve learned a lot from this experience that I plan to take with me into the future.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Teenage Sex Kitten (Perry, 1975)

This movie is pretty much impossible to discuss without spoilers, so you have been warned.

This is my third Ann Perry, and feels like a collision between the two others I've seen. There are the good vibes and hangout quality of Ballgame, manifesting in the rapport between Rene Bond and Eve Orlon and the sexual escapades they embark on. (Fucking a gardener, fucking in the pool, fucking their way to a free room are among the highlights. I cannot confirm whether Bond actually majored in poontang like the poster suggests, although if she's an autodidact, the results onscreen suggest she picked up the material pretty well.) And there is the cruelty of Sweet Savage, manifesting in the hard turn the movie takes without warning into roughie territory in its last third. It isn't just a shift in the subject matter, but in the textures as well, going from a warm and sunny atmosphere and a cheerful looking cast to a dingy looking hideout with boarded up windows, dirty walls, a hanging lightbulb, flies buzzing about, and disheveled looking assailants in tattered clothes, one of whom resembles Sid Haig circa The Devil's Rejects.

There is a precedence for this kind of structure with The Last House on the Left, which I'd wager was an inspiration on this movie. Last House foreshadows its violence with its structure, cutting between the innocent victims, goofy side characters and menacing villains until the different groups collide with horrifying results. What eventually transpires isn't exactly a surprise, although the sheer cruelty and finality of the violence still manages to shock (and when I rewatched the movie a few years ago, I found I had not been numbed to its impact). This one offers no such buildup. An attempted coupling outside a bar two thirds of the movie is cut short when the man is given a blow to the head and the woman is kidnapped, raped both while unconscious and awake, and then accidentally killed. The victims' male friends avenge their deaths violently, beating one of the assailants to death and emasculating the other by tying his genitals to their car and driving off. Cruelty is met with cruelty. The movie ends on a note that feels anything but triumphant, as the avengers promise to lie to the dead woman's female friend about her fate, so as to leave her as a happy memory.

I've watched far too many roughies than is probably healthy for one's sanity, but I do think this is a bit more ambitious than most. At the risk of boiling these things down to the demographic details of their creators, this is another one directed by someone other than a straight male that offers an interesting angle on the material. Maria Lease's Expensive Tastes lingers on the feelings of trauma after the assaults. Zebedy Colt's Terri's Revenge! adds an element of camp with Terri Hall's performance. Both those movies also afford their victims agency and allow them some catharsis in avenging wrongs. This does not offer such catharsis, placing the vengeance in the hands of characters not directly impacted, but an early exchange reveals an interest in the leniency afforded screen violence and punitive treatment of onscreen sex.

"Isn't it strange in movies you can show killing and people getting tortured and maimed. You can even show a baby getting murdered and that's not a crime. But if you show something beautiful like people making love, it's against the law. If we were in a movie and you showed what we did just now, some people would think it was disgusting." "Debbie, nothing so beautiful and so natural could be disgusting." "Did you know a few years ago you couldn't even show a belly button in an advertisement? It's like people are ashamed of being born or something." "That's reality, Debbie. I mean, people screw every day. Or should, I mean, you know. That's reality. This violence and murder and blood and all that other shit, that's, uh…" "It just doesn't seem right to me."

So perhaps this is movie's way of dealing with this hypocrisy on a structural level. So it's more ambitious in its grimy way than the other two movies I've seen by Perry, although if I had to rewatch one of these, I'd most likely go for Ballgame and hang out with my good friends Candida Royalle and Lisa De Leeuw rather than sit through the cruelty of the other two movies again. File this one under the "watch at your own risk" category, although its ambition does keep this from being too dispiriting an experience.

[kaythefloppa]

Anti Cassarian Post

TW: Mentions of abuse, drugging, assault/rape, pedophillia, incest, and proshitting (this will VERY much play into the topic)

Anytime I see some fuck-wad make a long thread or comment about why Cassarian isn’t a proship, or why its supporters are “victims of harassment from the anti’s and uWu” the only thing that comes into my mind are these images (if they’re different sizes, sorry)

My main argument against this ship is that Cassandra a 26 year old woman, and Varian is a 17 year old boy. That alone should be any good reason not to ship this. However an additional reason as to why this ship should die in hell is because Cassandra abuses Varian a lot throughout the series and this is the BIGGEST and by far the worst case for this. @rachelbethhines mentioned it in her review of Cassandra’s Revenge, and I feel the need to credit her for bringing this info to life, but Cassandra [off-screen] assaults Varian and knocks him out, and then proceeds to drug him in his sleep, and then coerces him once he wakes up. Not to mention he proceeds to re-imprison him and hold him over a far ledge where any attempt at escape would lead to his doom.

There have been MANY situations where someone will get their partner drunk in order to get them under the influence and do things that they wouldn’t agree on doing if they were sober. This is often called the “date-rape” and yes, it is illegal (or at least I very much HOPE it is). 

And before I get any comments on how “Duh, that’s the point, she’s the villain,” the show tried to paint her as sympathetic and she receives no consequences for this, nor does Varian get any form of justice for what she does to him or his home. Cassandra is and always will be Varian’s abuser and nothing can or will erase that. What’s also sick is that in the 2nd-to-last episode, Varian is shamed by Rapunzel for wanting to use a weapon to protect Corona from Cassandra. Y’know, after 5 episodes ago, she smiled at doing bodily damage to him, and one episode later, he mind-wiped his father, aunt and uncle. So we have the case of a victim wanting to stand up for themselves but being shot down by someone who has enabled said abuser.

And y’all still ship them?!??

“But there’s always the future where-”

NO.

If you have to age a canonically underage character up to ship them with a canonically adult character, you missed the point of why shipping them is wrong, and the point I made above, wouldn’t absolve this ship’s shittiness.

“But Rapunzel and Flynn had an age ga-”

FUCKING. NO.

Rapunzel and Eugene were both consenting adults who grew to understand each other and neither tried to abuse one another (at least in the film).

If you have to use the existence of another ship to justify your bad ship, guess what? That doesn’t absolve your ship as being bad! Especially if it’s a proship. You could easily just not ship it at all. It’s basic fucking logic.

“It’s fictional.”

That... literally does not mean anything. At all. Shipping minors with adults is still pedophillia and [hopefully] hella illegal. Fiction affects reality. There’s a reason we put trigger warnings on movies, tv episodes, or even fan-fics (assuming that you are actually considerate of people’s triggers unlike *SOME* people). There’s a reason why some topics like incest are never used at all (for example, the Lion King films had to re-write their stories to avoid incest in the final cut). Because fiction is a product of, and therefore affects reality. A child, or anyone impressionable in general, does not need to see fan-art of a child marrying an adult who previously tried to crush him to death. 

Imagine if someone who is a victim of pedophillia saw people shipping someone their age with an adult and defending it to the high heavens. Or if someone at the age of 20, or an adult in general saw people comfortable with shipping someone their age with a literal child. When you truly open up your eyes, this is actually a dangerous ship to support in a fandom filled with minors. 

Cassandra x Varian has the same problem as Chris Kratt x Martin Kratt. It’s downright abusive, offensive to people who have gone through similar situations, and the glorification of these ships can lead to impressionable minors mimicking these pairings and thinking it is OK. And worst of all, it’s usually adults who ship this. Like, human beings with fully developed cortexes, and one of the few creatures with the ability to speak and all you’re here doing is pairing an adult with a kid, or shipping two real-life brothers and making art-work of them? (I’ll give Cassarian credit that I am yet to stumble across any R34 art of them and I wish to keep it that way)

So bottom-line, Cassarian is a toxic ship, not only because it is a proship (pedophillia) but because it ships a victim of physical and psychological abuse, with their abuser.

The creator, Chris Sonnenburg himself even claimed that Cassandra loves Varian “as a friend.” Even though I call BS on the idea that Cassandra was ever a “friend” to Varian, or that Varian would reciporicate anything Cassandra throws at him (y’know that isn’t the embodiment of death), I do find some relief that this ship is offically non-canon and I hope the rumors of a storyboard artist confirming a ship are nothing more than false rumors (if not, I am genuinely going to burn my computer /hyp)

I frankly do NOT care if I get cancelled or sub-tweeted for this. I’ve been holding in this rage for soo fucking long and it’s time I get it out now because this needs to be said.

TLDR: STOP FUCKING SHIPPING CHILDREN WITH ADULTS WHO ABUSE THEM

[alpacaparkaseok]

The Pact - Date #6

Pairing/Genre: OT7 BTS x reader (not poly), idol!BTS, best friend BTS

Word Count: 5.7k

Premise: The truth about the pact the boys have about you has been revealed. What happens when you agree to go on a single date with each of them?

Warnings: reader is confused about feelings, so that’s frustrating lol. the boys are annoyingly perfect as per usual. other than that, fluffy as always.

a/n: HAHA. well, ngl, this date came for me. pls nobody kill me after reading this lol. as always, your feedback is encouraged and GREATLY appreciated. please let me know your thoughts! also, we are getting down to it! only one more date to go!! so exciting!

also, an official copy of the Pact will be up on Wednesday! so you’ll get two updates next week!! enjoy! 

Date #6

series masterlist ∆∆∆ join the taglist

You’ve been staring at this thing for way too long.

You can already feel the hint of a headache creeping behind your eyes, and it’s enough to have you setting the copy of The Pact that you stole from Jin down on the coffee table. Groaning as you clamber to your feet, you take a long moment to stretch and fight off the exhaustion that’s attempting to settle over you.

Tired mind somehow managing to continue limping on in its endless speculation, you yourself limp over to the kitchen. Staring at the kitchen sink with a few dirty dishes waiting, you consider splashing some water on your face.

Glancing up at your reflection in the window that’s just above the sink, you decide against it. Not when you’ve just managed to get completely ready for this date.

Your date should be here in about an hour, leaving you with too much time to sit and think. With a sigh, you begin to fill up one side of the sink with hot soapy water, deciding to do something productive with your time while you wait.

The soap bubbles that grow before your eyes has your mind wandering off again. This time, it’s remembering last week and a similar soapy view. However, you’d been side by side with Seokjin. And that song had been playing in the background…

“What are you daydreaming about?”

You shriek, dropping a plate in the sink and facing the onslaught of sloshing dishwater and stray soap bubbles.

Jeon Jungkook resembles a caught crook outside the kitchen window. You consider breaking a plate over his head, especially as his typical wide eyed gaze has been replaced with a knowing smirk.

“Just thinking about throwing something at your head,” you sigh. Pulling the plug on the drain, you watch as the soapy water disappears. Hopefully it takes any evidence of your thoughts with it, but you have a feeling that your reddened cheeks have already given you away. “Why are you creeping outside my window?”

Jungkook’s golden laughter makes the corners of your mouth turn up. “Ah, I tried to knock. I don’t think you heard me, though.”

You blink. “Oh.” Has it already been an hour?

Did you just spend an hour washing the same plate while daydreaming?

“Oh is right. Now, are you gonna let me in?”

Wiping your hands on a dish towel, it’s one with stitched stars on it that Yoongi gifted you a couple of years ago, you hurry over to open the door. The second you do, Jungkook is stepping inside and locking you in a bear hug. Your squeal is muffled as you’re buried in his embrace, but you can’t quite find it in yourself to complain.

He smells like vanilla.

“Happy Saturday,” you stammer out. From where your head is pressed up against Jungkook’s chest, you can hear how his heart is hammering against his ribs.

Taking a step back to see what’s wrong, you frown as he looks at you with a fairly calm expression. There’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes which you’re sure is mirrored in your own.

“Happy Saturday to you, too. Ready?”

No, not really. Not since you’ve been planted at the sink, little beads of sweat forming due to the steaming water.

“Give me five minutes to freshen up?” You ask with an apologetic smile. Jungkook waves you off, pulling up the sleeves of his black, long-sleeve shirt and heading toward the kitchen.

“Sure, take your time. We don’t have a strict schedule tonight.”

Without waiting to see what he intends to do in your kitchen (pilfer snacks being the most likely course of action), you hurry to your bedroom.

There are hints of them everywhere you look.

One of the flowers from Jin’s bouquet is hanging upside down to dry above your dresser. You felt a bit like a teen doing that, but a small piece of you wanted to keep some sort of memory of last week’s date.

Jimin’s music box sits beside the books you bought with Namjoon. You’ve found that listening to the music box while reading is quickly becoming a habit of yours.

Of course, that means you snack on the walnuts that Taehyung left for you while reading. You hadn’t even realized that he left them until this past week. They’d been hiding in your cupboard, and you’d taken quite a liking to them. Either that, or the small sticky note that was attached to the bag.

A single heart traced in bold lines and scribbles.

Slipping on Hobi’s bracelet has become like second nature, making you smile as you twist it around the face the right way.

“Ok,” you breathe out with a glance toward the mirror. You smooth out your hair, straightening your blouse and black jeans. “Here we go.”

Of course, you can’t forget the biggest reminder of the boys.

The copy of the pact that you stole from Jin last week, currently atop your dresser-

“Oh no,” you breathe out as soon as you remember that the pact is not where it’s supposed to be.

You’d taken it out earlier for some light perusing, and had left it out on the coffee table. As far as you knew, none of the boys were aware of your thievery. Yet.

Sneaking out of your room and tiptoeing down the hall, you hear Jungkook humming to himself in the kitchen. Trying to remain as quiet as possible, you make a beeline for the front room.

You let out a sigh of relief when the pact is still undisturbed on the table. Swooping down to grab it, you turn on your heel and-

“AH!!!”

“Ah!” Jungkook yells back, towering over you.

“Why would you-” you hit one shoulder “sneak up-” you assault the other “on me like that?!”

Jungkook grabs your wrist, nose scrunching up as he looks at you like you’re some sweet woodland animal and not a crazy woman.

“Why so jumpy today?” He croons, doing his best to get under your skin. Then he frowns, releasing your wrist in exchange for stepping a little closer. “Is everything ok?”

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, gripping the pact in your free hand behind your back. “I just have to put something away and then we’re good to go, ok?”

He assesses you for another minute before stepping aside. “Sounds good.”

Rushing to your room and closing the door, you rest against it for a moment and close your eyes. So far, so good. Right?

Stuffing the pact into a drawer in your dresser, you grab your things and double check yourself in the mirror.

Why are you so jumpy today?

Perhaps the fact that all of this is coming to an end very soon is what has you on edge. The fact that Jungkook is here means that there’s only one date left.

And then what?

It’s a question you don’t know how to answer. And yet, you’re the only one that can.

Taking a steadying breath, you salute your reflection and head out.

Jungkook waits for you by the door, looking…well, looking like Jungkook. Black shirt, drawstring army green pants, thick boots. His hair looks a little windblown, which you know has become a recent sort of addiction for him. The thought of him driving with the windows down makes you grin. No doubt he looked like some sort of excited puppy with his hair flying in the wind.

Jungkook, unaware of you train of thought, just grins back.

“You look great,” he mumbles out, a tinge of pink giving him away. For all of your antics that you have a tendency to get into, you sometimes forget that Jungkook is one of the shyest out of all the boys.

“So do you,” you respond. Turning before you can spot the smile on his face, Jungkook opens up the door and escorts you outside. “What’s on the agenda for tonight?”

“Well, that depends,” Jungkook skips down the steps, shoving his hands in his pockets. He reaches the car before you, pulling the passenger side door open. “What do you wanna do?”

You pause before sliding into the car, noting that it’s the same one you took with Namjoon. It’s an SUV, much more spacious than the smaller cars you drove in with Hobi or Tae. “What do you mean?”

Shrugging, Jungkook heads over to the other side of the car before hopping in. You finally get in as well, looking at the boy quizzically. He fiddles with the keys, glancing over at you before resting his hands atop the steering wheel.

“This is your sixth date,” he muses. “I figured that this might be nice, for a change. You say the word, and I’ll take you wherever you wanna go. We have…” he squint at the clock, which reads seven o’clock. “Approximately five hours.”

“Huh.” You lean back against your seat, staring out at the road with a dumbfounded expression. “Really? Did you just not plan anything?”

Jungkook looks offended. “Of course I did! I have a backup plan if you can’t come up with anything. I don’t know…I just thought it might be nice. Let’s go do whatever you want.”

The gears in your mind begin to turn and you’re half tempted to just go with whatever Jungkook has as his backup plan, until you remember something.

“You mean it?” You ask, wiggling your brows at Jungkook. “Whatever I want?”

Jungkook stares in disbelief at the rundown building, a smile fighting its way onto his cheeks. “This? This is what you wanted?”

He must have thought that you’d choose something a bit more daring than this. However, you nod happily, slipping out of your seat and wandering over to his side of the car. He still remains inside, looking at the building with absolute confusion. With a sly grin, you open up his door and gesture for him to exit.

“C’mon, let’s eat.”

Together you make your way inside the open air restaurant, taking in the sight and smells. You wave at the worker behind the front counter, who grins and waves back at you.

Taking a seat in the far corner at a plastic chair and table, you can’t help but laugh at the awestruck expression on Jungkook’s face. The lighting inside is poor, it doesn’t quite reach your corner of the room. However, just enough of it reaches Jungkook to highlight the shadows on his face and occasionally catch on his eyes.

“This place has the best lamb skewers,” you explain. “I haven’t come out in a long time.”

Jungkook’s expression melts into one of adoration as he looks at you, and you wonder if he realizes it. “I love lamb skewers.”

“I know.”

When you’re ready, you call out your order to a passing worker. They nod, rushing to the back to pass it on. A few people are scattered throughout the restaurant, most of which are too enraptured by their food or their friends to pay any attention to you two. Jungkook blends right in, except for his giant boots that set him apart. Hopefully nobody will pay them any mind.

Settled across the table from Jungkook, you let out a sigh of relief.

“What?” Jungkook immediately asks, ever the intuitive one. “Are you sure everything’s alright? Maybe I should’ve come up with something fun to do instead of make you choose-”

You hold up a hand, waving him off. “No, I’m happy. This is…nice.”

Jungkook blinks, and suddenly you’re reminded of a date you went on in middle school. He somehow manages to revive those same butterflies when he looks at you like that.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you reassure. “Although I am a little surprised that you aren’t the final date. Didn’t you decide the order?”

“Ah,” Jungkook leans back, forgetting that he’s sitting on a stool. He nearly topples over, making you lurch forward and grab his hand. “Uh, thank you,” he mutters as he sits up straight.

“Careful,” you quietly chide, going to sit back down. You attempt to take your hand out of his grasp, but Jungkook latches on. Intertwining his fingers through yours, he gives you a soft smile which has you relaxing in his grasp.

Resting your hands in the center of the table, Jungkook speaks up again. “Anyways, yeah. The order. I was planning on going last, but then the thing that Yoongi has planned didn’t work out for any other weekend. So we swapped.” He takes up tracing the outline of your knuckles, resting his chin in the palm of his free hand.

“I see.” The way that the shadows are playing with Jungkook’s features has you remembering a different time when you two were stuck a in dark room. “So…uh…” you try to come up with something else to say in order to fight off the memory of Jungkook’s arms around you.

You suppose that’s when it all started. And that’s traitorous question which had popped up into your mind in the haunted house, when you wondered if Jungkook was about to kiss you.

And you wondered if you’d let him.

Sitting across from him now and seeing how his eyes widen with excitement as your food is placed before you, you try and fail to fight off a similar question. One that’s been plaguing you for weeks now.

“These’re ‘mazing,” Jungkook coos as he takes another bite of the lamb skewer. “Why haven’t you told me about this place before?”

Chuckling at his reaction, you grab his wrist and angle the skewer toward you. Leaning forward, you take a bite of the food and watch as Jungkook visibly swallows.

You shrug. “It didn’t seem like something worth sharing at the time.”

“Mmm,” Jungkook appears to be scolding you, but the words aren’t quite coming out as food keeps going in. “Mm-mmhmm.”

You burst out laughing at his impressive performance, leaning back and-

Thwack!

Stool slipping out from under you, you collapse onto the ground in a fit of laughter. Jungkook throws his food down, jumping up to his feet and looking concerned until he sees that you’re still laughing. Shaking his head, he extends his hand and helps you back to your feet.

“It’s gonna be a miracle if we make it out of this place without a concussion.”

You wipe fake tears from your eyes, settling back down on your chair. “Promise me you’ll pay for my hospital bills?”

“I’ll consider it.”

When you gasp in offense, he points to the food. “Hey! It’s not my fault that you were keeping vital information from me! That really threw a wrench in my trust for you!”

“This is what you consider vital information?”

“Hey, don’t judge me.”

“I’m just saying…it’s a little concerning.”

“Don’t we tell each other everything?” Jungkook shoots back with pleading eyes. To an outsider, it looks like a typical lover’s quarrel. Little do they know, you’re bickering about lamb skewers.

You shoot him a pointed look. “Oh-ho, you really wanna talk about sharing everything? Need I mention a certain pact-”

“No, you do not.”

“Hmph.” You cross your arms. “That’s what I thought.”

“In my defense, I did tell you. Eventually.” From the way he begins chewing on his lips you can tell that he’s remembering the circumstances in which he told you about the pact.

However, it’s the way his eyes dart down to your mouth that have you recalling a feeling of unfinished business with Jungkook. You’re not quite sure what it is, but it’s there.

“After two years.”

He points a finger at you. “Hey, two and a half- oh, wait.”

“That didn’t help.”

“No yeah, I see that now.”

You snort, grabbing some food. It’s all too easy to slip back into your familiar banter with Jungkook. You’ve missed it.

Jungkook looks a little lost in his thoughts as he munches on his lamb skewer, a pout forming on his face. You nudge his knee under the table, shooting him a questioning look.

“What’s up?” You ask quietly.

He resumes chewing on the inside of his cheek, staring down at his food like he’s about to interrogate it. “Do you regret it?”

You’re not exactly sure what he’s referring to, but either way it leaves a knot in your stomach. “Regret what, Guk?”

Jungkook shrugs, his pout only growing. “Finding out about it? Agreeing to all this?”

Setting your food down, you ponder for a moment over the past six weeks. Perhaps a small part of you does regret knowing. However, it’s more for the fact that you know things can’t return to normal. Not after all you’ve experienced. Not after the way certain people have managed to lodge themselves into your heart more than you’d care to imagine.

“This,” you begin, and without thought you find yourself reaching across the table for Jungkook’s hand. He reads your thoughts, meeting you halfway. “Is the most terrifying thing I think I’ve ever done. It’s weird, and new, and frightening.”

Jungkook nods, seeming to have expected this. Before he can come to some silent understanding within his mind, you continue on.

“But I wouldn’t change it for the world. These last six weeks have been…” you shake your head, struggling to find the words.

How do you put this into words? Those small moments between breaths, the way you felt from the way some of the boys looked at you. How do you explain that you have never before felt so loved in your life? That despite the worries and improbability of it all, you would never change it for the world?

“…perfect.”

Blinking up at you, Jungkook looks a little shocked. “Perfect?”

“I’m glad you told me,” you admit, voice coming out a nothing more than a whisper. “I hope you don’t regret it.”

Jungkook’s eyes trail down to where your hands are interlocked. “I’m glad I told you, too.”

You feel so warm, sitting here. The food is half gone, the restaurant is loud and busy. Jungkook keeps one hand in yours as he takes up his skewer again, making sure to give you a bite every once in a while.

You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t notice the rain that begins to fall. It drizzles at first, however when a clash of lightning strikes, you jolt. Jungkook squeezes your hand.

“Eat up,” he mumbles. “What do you wanna do after this?”

The rainfall seems to quell your thoughts, finally silencing them as you focus entirely on Jungkook. “I’m not sure…how about you choose? I already chose the food.”

Jungkook harrumphs his agreement, jumping up to go pay while you finish off the remaining food. It’s utterly delicious, even more so than you remember. Truly, your love of food knows no bounds.

You snort at yourself, probably looking like an idiot but enjoying your own company. Jungkook wanders back over, a half-smile already on his face at your state.

“What’s so funny?”

You shake your head, pointing to the platters of food. “I swear, I’m just using you guys so I can eat whatever I want. It’s amazing.”

Jungkook lets out a startled laugh. “I can’t believe you. Using us like that.” There’s no bite in his words, which only makes it all so much better. “C’mon, we’ll have to hurry to the car. It’s pouring out there.”

Indeed it is. Together the two of you sprint toward the car, cursing the fact that you didn’t have to foresight to at least bring a jacket. Instead you fend off the rain by throwing your hands over your head, heart melting a bit when you feel Jungkook trying his best to lean over you to take the brunt of the attack.

Once you’ve leapt inside the car it’s only a matter of seconds before Jungkook is on the other side. He shakes out his hair as he starts up the car, making you shout in protest.

Naturally, he does it a bit more.

“Yah!” You shout. “I surrender!”

This seems to sate him, making him smile at you mischievously. “Good.” Pulling out onto the road, he takes off toward an unknown destination. “Sit tight, we’ll be there in a bit.”

It doesn’t take long to get there. It’s a little difficult to tell where you are exactly due to the heavy rain, but you can just make out a pond and grove of trees beyond the downpour.

“Stay right here,” Jungkook instructs before diving out of the car.

Like, literally dives. You’re fairly certain he goes headfirst, making you burst out into peals of laughter. He reappears a second later, already drenched while he begins to lay the seats down. You’re dying to ask what he’s doing, but you’re not sure if he would be able to hear you as heavy raindrops thud against the roof.

Once he’s managed to get all of the seats down, he makes his way to the trunk. He glances up to where you watch from the front seat, a look of determination shining in his eyes.

“Close your eyes,” he orders. It’s hard to hear him, but it’s easy enough to read his lips. They’re glistening with raindrops, which he hasn’t bothered to lick off yet-

Er, it’s not like you were staring. Nah. No. Nothing like that. Just happened to notice them.

Yeah. That’s what it was.

Despite your curiosity, you turn around to face the front and close your eyes. It’s hard to tell what’s going on behind you, but you occasionally catch the sound of Jungkook crawling around.

It feels like an eternity later when Jungkook opens up your door, making you jump at the sudden onslaught of rain. He grins at you from behind his soaked hair, extending his hand.

“Hurry!”

Jumping out of the car, you chase after Jungkook who keeps a firm grip on your hand. He leads you around to the back of the car, where he hurries to open up the trunk.

You hardly have time to take in the sight the unfolds before your eyes before Jungkook wrapping his hands around your waist and hoisting you into the car. You push your hair out of your eyes, about to crawl forward when a hand on your ankle stops you.

“Shoes!” Jungkook shouts, apparently past the point of speaking in full sentences. Turning around to sit down properly, you get to work on one of your sneakers while Jungkook takes the other. Once they’re off, you crawl up to the front to toss them onto the floor.

Once they’re safely stowed away, you turn around and take a look at the back of the car.

Somehow, in the span of just a couple of minutes, Jungkook has transformed the back of the car into an impromptu paradise.

As he clambers in and brushes past you to toss his shoes up front, you gape. A couple of pillows are propped up on the edges of the car, looking like clouds amidst the sea of the comforter. The blanket itself is soft to the touch, and you spot another blanket folded in the corner. Hanging from the latches on the ceiling are battery powered string lights, dowsing you in a fairy-like dreamland.

The hatch remains open, providing a breathtaking view. Sure enough, there’s a pond. Just beyond the bond stands a grove of tall trees, hardly wavering in the rain. The entire view is nothing short of ethereal. It’s enough to leave you wondering for a moment if you’ve unintentionally wandered into some strange remake of A Midsummer Night’s Dream because you’ve become that there’s no way magic doesn’t exist.

And there’s Jungkook, sitting across from you with a timid smile while he delves into one of his many pockets in his cargo pants. A second later he produces a deck of cards, tossing them between you where they land softly on the thick comforter.

“This,” he says a touch breathlessly, “was my backup plan.”

There are no words left in your brain to describe this moment. The way water droplets drip from the long strands of Jungkook’s hair has you mesmerized, and you force yourself to reach out for that deck of cards and slide them from the box.

“This,” you stammer out, “is the best backup plan ever.”

Jungkook is radiant as his smile grows, nose scrunching up and a soft chuckle leaving those lips. “Thanks.”

You’re not sure how long you’re in the back of the car, playing Egyptian Ratscrew until tears are running from your eyes as you laugh and squeal. Jungkook inevitably wins, probably due to your vision being impaired by said tears. Eventually you decline a 33rd round (he says that it’s only the eleventh but your throbbing hands say it’s definitely the 33rd) in favor of laying out and watching the rain.

Jungkook joins you where you sprawl out on your stomach, watching the ripples in the pond as the rain continues. It’s let up a bit more now, but the sound of rain on the roof is enough to lull you into a tired trance.

Leaning into your side, Jungkook loops his arm through yours until his hand is resting on your own. You automatically rest your head against his shoulder, letting out a content sigh.

“Your hands are so red,” Jungkook whispers. You snort, examining your abused hands.

“Yeah, I told you that you slap hard,” you whisper back furiously. Jungkook chuckles, making you shake along with him.

“Don’t act all innocent. You about killed me,” he replies, showing off his reddened hands. “I forgot how brutal that game is.”

“Me too. But it’s so fun.”

“Mmm.”

“I mean, when else do I get a free pass to slap you?”

Now Jungkook laughs in earnest, the sound going straight to your heart. “You’re ruthless.”

“Hey, you’re the one that has a thing for ruthless women.”

“Touché.”

Soon the rhythm of the rain fades into the background as Jungkook takes up a melody, humming softly. Your eyes drift shut, taking in the sound.

It would be so easy to stay here forever. The blanket is so soft, Jungkook is so sweet, the view so perfect.

Your lips form the words before you completely comprehend what’s going on. “…wanna stay here.”

“Hmm?” Jungkook asks, his voice coming from above you. He shifts, arm resting along your back and wrapping around your waist. “What’d you say, jagiya?”

“I wanna stay.”

“We can stay a little longer,” he reassures gently. You shake your head, nuzzling deeper into his side.

“Forever, though.”

“You wanna stay forever?”

“Mhmm.”

Jungkook brushes a hand through your hair before running a finger along your jawline. “Back here, with me? And the blankets?”

You hum in agreement. “And the lights and the rain.”

He lets out a breathy laugh. “It can’t rain forever, jagiya.”

“Why not?” Your brain isn’t completely coherent at the moment, but you don’t try to stop it.

“We’d float away.”

“Oh.”

“Ok?”

“Mm.”

Eventually the rain turns into a light drizzle and Jungkook deems it time to head back. It’s already late, but you find yourself wanting to bask in the soft glow that the string lights provide for just a moment longer.

Jungkook reassures you that he won’t put the seats back up yet, but that you need to head up front. Getting up and moving seems to kickstart your brain, and you’re much more awake when you settle into the front seat.

The two of you settle into a comfortable silence, the radio quietly singing. You two sing along, and you stare out the window as you drive down the streets of Itaewon. You pass the spot you ate earlier, making you smile.

All too soon, you’re turning onto your street. It’s enough to make you attempt sinking through the seat, but Jungkook parks the car and comes around to your side.

“Welcome home,” he mumbles as you slide out of the car. You turn your face up to the sky, allowing the light rain to wake you up a bit more.

“Thank you.”

Jungkook takes your hand in his as you head up the stairs to your apartment, and you wonder for a moment if that’s your racing pulse you feel or his own. It’s that question that has you racing back to reality.

The doorstep.

You reach your door, turning to face Jungkook. You haven’t even tried getting your keys out yet, the thought hasn’t crossed your mind. Instead, you stare up at Jungkook only to find him chewing on the inside of his cheek and staring down at the ground. He massages the back of his neck, looking for all the world like he’s forgotten how to speak.

“Thank you,” you repeat for the second time in less than a minute. “I really enjoyed it, Jungkook. I…” your words trail off as Jungkook takes a step forward, hands reaching around you to wrap around the railing of your porch.

“Do you ever wonder what might have happened…” Jungkook’s eyes snap up to yours, and they betray his next words as they drift to your lips. “If I had kissed you that night?”

A sound comes out of your throat, however you’re not sure if it was a half-formed word or simply a reaction to the way Jungkook nibbles on his bottom lip as he tilts his head to one side.

He takes another micro-step, effectively trapping you between him and the wrought iron railing. “Because I do. Every day.”

Again, that question comes flying back from the catacombs of your memory. Right now, you wonder if he’ll kiss you.

You wonder if you’d let him.

The fact that this question has been on your mind for so long makes you realize the answer to his question.

You’re not sure how you manage to speak as you feel Jungkook’s hands slide onto your waist, but you do. “Y-yes. I do.” Taking a deep breath you utter out, “Of course I do.”

Another step, a bit of rain slipping down the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’s stopped breathing, but you wonder if that’s only because you’re holding your breath.

He’s leaning down, eyes so focused on yours that you feel as though your soul has been laid out before him. Finally, once he’s mere millimeters away, he takes a shaky breath.

“Just once.”

You wonder if it was meant more for himself than for you, but you don’t have time to entertain the thought for long before he’s pressing forward.

The first touch of his lips against yours reminds you of the paradise you were in just minutes ago. His lips are soft – so soft – against yours, reminding you of resting on a cloud. His lips are hesitant, so unlike the iron-like grip he has on your hips.

Some part of your brain is screaming at you, although you’re unsure of why. What could the consequences of such a beautiful action be?

It’s beautiful enough to make you frown when Jungkook pulls away, the raindrops on his lips long gone as you taste them on your lips. He looks down at you sheepishly, taking a single step back.

“I- I…” he chokes the words out, looking like there might be an internal war going on in his head as well. For a moment, he wins. “One more,” he whispers, the words almost lost to the soft pitter patter of the rain.

He’s much faster this time, throwing caution to the wind as he closes in on you. One hand tangles itself in your hair, the other caressing your cheek as you sigh against his mouth. The kiss is a little sloppy, the force of it nearly making you stumble backward. You cling to his shirt in an effort to remain upright, attempting to somehow crawl closer despite your already close proximity.

One more quickly turns into two, then three. All you know is the feel of his lips against yours and the rain gently falling, having lost count a while ago.

Everything is Jungkook, Jungkook-

Completely unbidden, someone else floats into your train of thought.

You gasp as your thoughts take an unexpected turn, eyes flying open. The sight before you completely wrecks you.

Jungkook leans forward once more, hair a mess and cheeks rosy pink. There’s a dazed look in his eyes, and you realize that he must have assumed you just needed to breathe before falling into you again.

He leans in, quick to turn your thoughts toward him again. Soon it’s him, all him in your head.

And yet-

You stumble back as though struck by lightning, then jump in earnest as lightning does strike. Jungkook stares at you, but for a brief moment as his features are lit up by the lightning, all you can see is him.

What does that even mean?

“I- uh…” you’re practically panting, fighting with all you have to not reach out for Jungkook as he takes a step back. His eyes clear a bit, and you can already see the guilt festering in his eyes. You attempt a joke. “Aren’t you breaking rule #5?”

Jungkook blinks at you. “What? I…that was…a lot. I’m so sorry…rule five? What?”

“You know…the pact, rule five-” you throw a hand over your mouth, realizing that you may have said too much.

“How do you know that’s rule #5?” Jungkook asks, but you’re already pushing him off your porch and fumbling for your keys. “Wait, have you read-”

“Thanks again, Jungkook!” You shout over your shoulder, throwing your front door open. “And, er, I liked kissing you- wait, that’s not normal-”

Jungkook laughs, although still looking concerned. He frowns, and you do your best to avoid noting just how much pinker his lips look now. “I hope you’re ok-”

“Great! I’m great!”

You’re not. You’re a little frantic at the moment, but great.

With that, Jungkook waves goodbye and turns away, bidding you goodnight.

It’s a long time before you move out of the front room. Instead, you take up camp on your couch, staring off into the distance. Replaying, rewinding, reliving what just happened.

In the end, you’re more confused than when you began.

main masterlist

please let me know what your thoughts are! You don’t necessarily have to be rooting for one of the boys specifically, but let me know who you think has the best shot/who you really swooned over! ;) and yes, it’s ok to be confused. like, what the freak just happened. *nervous laughter*

I’ll see you guys WEDNESDAY with a copy of the pact for you to read as well as next Saturday for our final date! thank you for reading!

taglist is open, click on the link at the top of the post or let me know if you’d like to join!

taglist: @secretlycrazyhummingbird @marianeamine @hqtetsurou@protontippens​ @baepsaetay @dreamcatcherjiah @kookie-vuitton​@thecaffeinatedscribbles​ @moon-write​ @fangirl125reader​ @heishichoulevi​ @knjkitten​ @sacha-cff​ @vik7797​  @eusticenatalie​ @hesmyphenominiall​​ @miriamxsworld​ @kayahay​  @delacyrose224​  @luvtaeha​ @fanfictionreader05 @oknymz​​ @dreadity​  @starlight-night0​ @luzaroon​ @seaoffangirling​​ @prachi05 @fangirl125reader​ @bluehairedotakugem​ @hunnibxbe​ @kayahay​ @fanfictionreader05 @seokjinmoonfics​ @littletinyhobi​ @honeyhalcyon​​ @yoontaethings​​ @herrmionejgranger​  @beepbeep11​ @extraordinary_reads @hitsussi

[starsinmylatte]

Nightcall

Pairing: Thrawn x afab reader

Rating: Explicit (Very 18+)

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: established relationship, edging, praise k!nk, very slight dom/sub undertones, interspecies relationship

Summary: Reader has had a VERY long day, and Thrawn is away from the Chimaera. Or is he?

Author's note: Hi! I'm finally starting to post fics to Tumblr again. I've been away for a bit, but I am very excited to write more. All my stuff is also on AO3 here! Any comments or reblogs are always greatly appreciated (seriously y'all leave the sweetest comments and it makes my day). Have fun reading my first ever attempt at smut and lmk if you'd like to be added to my tags <3

Today had been hell.

Thrawn had departed the Chimaera days ago to handle some business on Coruscant, and, as usual, Konstantine was using his absence as an excuse to be a massive pain in the ass. The Grand Admiral relied on you to help keep order just as much as he relied on Eli Vanto, but he was currently as busy as you were. So, the ever-glamorous job of making sure the Seventh Fleet remained in orbit mainly fell to you.

It was the fifth day Thrawn had been gone, and you were already fantasizing about throwing Konstantine out of the airlock. It would undoubtedly save the remnants of your sanity. He usually wasn’t blatantly insubordinate, but today he seemed to make an exception.

“I simply don’t understand why the Grand Admiral is insisting on holding this formation,” he exclaimed. “We should be chasing the rebels back to their base by now!”

Another headache was definitely coming on. I swear on every star in this kriffing galaxy…..

Your reply was icy and tinged with frustration, “Konstantine, if you wish to question the Grand Admiral’s tactics, you are more than welcome to discuss it with him when he comes back. Until then, we will be following the orders he left us with.”

He momentarily met your piercing stare before realizing any further arguments would be futile.

“Fine. I do believe I’m needed elsewhere,” Konstantine huffed as he departed the bridge.

For the first time in hours, the bridge was blessedly silent. You sank into a chair, rubbing your temples. Kriff, I definitely feel that headache now….

A sudden hand on your shoulder made you jump. You were so distracted that Eli might as well have materialized out of thin air.

“Hard day?” The corners of his mouth twitched as he attempted to stifle his amusement. “I heard you gave Konstantine a well-deserved earful.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Next time, it’s your turn. This is my fourth headache in the past five days.”

“Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off? You’ve been working harder than anyone else on the Chimaera for days.” He lowered his voice before adding, “He should be back soon.”

A wave of relief washed over you at the news. You and Thrawn had gone to great lengths to keep your relationship secret from the crew, but Eli was too good of a friend to be kept in the dark. Besides, he would’ve noticed eventually that his two best friends were slightly more than friends.

Eli must’ve noticed the change in your expression, “Oh, you definitely need a break.”

He shoved a datapad in your hands and started pulling you to your feet, ignoring the numerous protests you gave him. “Here, take this to Thrawn’s office, leave it on his desk, and then you’re taking the rest of the day off. No arguments.”

-----------------------------

Thrawn’s office was its usual freezing temperature. Even though your uniform had layers of thick material, the chill was easily seeping through them. Shivering, you placed the datapad on the large desk in the back of the room.

You turned to leave, but a pang shot through your heart as you looked around the empty room. It was normal for you to barely see Thrawn on the days he was especially busy, but it was always different when you knew he wasn’t on the Chimaera at all. Stars, you missed him when he was gone. Just knowing he was nearby on days you couldn’t see him was so comforting. “Soon” wasn’t a good enough time frame for when he’d return.

A sudden thought crossed your mind; nothing was stopping you from spending the night in Thrawn’s quarters. It wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence for you to sleep here, and it would be comforting. Besides, with your headache, you didn’t exactly feel like walking all the way back across the ship to your room, and his private quarters were conveniently connected to his office.

You began stripping off your uniform as you walked into the room and made your way over to the bed. It was still freezing, but every layer you removed took the worries of the day with it. Soon, everything except your bra and panties sat neatly folded on the bedside table. In this moment, you weren’t an Imperial officer; you were a woman climbing into her lover’s bed for comfort after a long day.

As soon as you slid between the soft, black sheets, you instantly received the comfort you were craving. They smelled exactly like Thrawn, crisp and clean, but with a unique depth cut by the citrusy scent of his favorite tea. You could almost imagine that he was actually there beside you. A contented smile crossed your lips as you drifted off to sleep.

---------------------------------

You suddenly woke to a light caress on your cheek. In your groggy state, you didn’t fully realize what that touch meant until you leaned into it. You would have probably fallen back asleep were it not for the low, pleased murmur that followed your actions.

“Apologies, ch’eo bat in’a, I did not mean to wake you, but I was not expecting to find you here.”

Your eyes flew open in shock as you sat up and gasped, “Thrawn!”

The low light in the room illuminated the regal form sitting beside you on the edge of the bed. Thrawn’s usually unreadable expression was one of slight amusement mixed with another, softer expression. You couldn’t help but notice his beautiful azure-hued skin and luminous ruby eyes were only complemented by the dimmed light; you couldn’t help but think he was meant to be seen like this. He must’ve been tired from the constant travel, but nothing in his posture or expression gave it away.

You didn’t wait for him to speak again before reaching over to embrace him. Thrawn immediately wrapped his strong arms around your waist and pulled you in tightly. Pressing your face into his chest, you quietly murmured, “I missed you.”

He said nothing, so you assumed he didn’t hear. You both sat contentedly for a few minutes and savored the intimacy before he moved one hand to stroke lazily down your back and the other to run through your hair. As you leaned further into his touch, he grabbed your chin and turned your head so he could press his lips to your ear.

“You are quite endearing when you’re half-asleep. It’s beautiful,” he whispered.

The praise combined with the sensation of his warm breath in your ear finally did you in; a flame began to spark to life in your core. You had missed him, and every single part of you was screaming for you to let him know just how much.

Before you could even move, Thrawn trailed his lips down to kiss your neck, and the flame in your core blossomed. You let out a quiet, breathy moan, and he immediately stopped.

Bringing his lips back to trace the shell of your ear, he rasped, “Oh? It seems you did miss me. How fortunate that I was able to return to you already in my bed.” He paused to lightly trace the outline of your bra before continuing. “And in something so pretty too. A shame that it will soon be discarded.”

You whimpered at his words as his lips renewed their brutal assault on your neck and upper chest. For what seemed like an eternity, Thrawn was content to lavish affection on the spots that provoked the greatest responses from you as his hands held you in place.

“Thrawn, please…. Touch me….” you begged, hoping desperately for him to comply.

He merely let out a dark chuckle as he chided, “Patience, ch’eo ch’itiseb, for every protest that leaves your pretty mouth, I will be sure to make you wait even longer.”

You bit back a moan at his sinful words; his eyes seemed to glow even brighter, and his smile turned feral. The look he gave you in return was simply predatory.

He continued to suck hickies into the sensitive skin at the base of your neck and around your collarbones. His tongue licked a long, torturous line up the column of your neck to kiss the area under your jaw. With every kiss, caress, and touch, the flame in your core spread throughout your entire body. He bit down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and you melted even further into his arms.

“It seems you were able to learn an adequate lesson in patience, so now we may continue. Turn around for me,” he ordered.

You turned to face the wall as he returned to his previous position at the edge of the bed. He trailed his hands up your waist and around to cup your breasts. Thrawn may have decided that you could have more of his touch, but he still refused to dip his hand under the lacy fabric of your bra. Instead, he teasingly rubbed over the material to brush against your nipples. Your head fell back to rest on his shoulder as you pushed your chest out into his hands, still desperate for more.

“How very, very eager for my touch….” His tone was still infuriatingly collected for how quickly he’d reduced you into a moaning mess, but a slight accent began to mar his words. “Ch’itses’o euhn ei.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Thrawn unfastened and discarded your bra. Finally, he wrapped his hands entirely around your breasts. The sharp contrast between the warmth of his body and the room’s icy air only intensified the pleasure as he began to roll your nipples between his fingers.

You couldn’t help but moan his name again, loudly. Thrawn’s breath hitched before he let out a low, breathy moan, “Bun vn’inen’i. Let me hear you.”

His voice had always been profoundly attractive, but hearing him murmur filthy sentiments into your ear in his native tongue made you absolutely melt. You let out another gasp and rubbed your thighs together, seeking any friction you could find, keenly aware of the desire beginning to pool between them. In your desperate search for friction, you accidentally rubbed your ass back against him and felt his growing erection.

The contact made Thrawn hiss. In one fluid motion, he flipped you around, pushed your back flat against the mattress, and leaned over you.

It was moments like this when you remembered you were in the bed of one of the most powerful men in the galaxy. Thrawn’s ruby eyes glowed with lust as he gazed down at you. His feral smile returned as he studied his prize. “Allow me to show you just how much I missed you.”

He trailed kisses from your breasts down to your inner thighs, nipping at them slightly, then stopping to look up at you as he reached your panties. “These must go,” he murmured against your thigh. Thrawn took the band in his teeth and began to tug the panties off, using his hands to remove them fully.

Finally, you laid before him completely bare, and once again, he paused to appreciate your body. “Simply beautiful,” he cooed.

Thrawn returned to kiss your inner thighs before he spread your legs further. He moved to kneel on the floor at the side of the bed and pulled your hips to the edge. You knew exactly what was coming next. “Oh….”

You barely had time to moan before he swiped an experimental finger through your core. Under any other circumstances, you’d be embarrassed that you were already so wet, but Thrawn lit a fire in you that no one else could. Now it was his turn to let out a low groan at his discovery.

He didn’t waste any more time before moving one of his long fingers to lightly trace around your entrance. The torment of his delicate touch made you rock your hips upwards, desperately begging for more contact. Without warning, he pushed two fingers deep inside you, making your walls clench hard around them. You moaned and begged for more as he began to pump them in and out of your drenched core, causing your legs to shudder in pleasure.

“Look at you, I’ve only just started using my fingers, and you’re already shaking,” Thrawn groaned.

He brought you right up to the peak of pleasure before suddenly withdrawing. You sobbed in protest as he brought his fingers up to your mouth. “Clean them off,” he commanded. Hoping that he’d finish you off if you complied, you obediently took his fingers into your mouth and sucked all your juices off of them.

Thrawn was very pleased. He moved back down between your thighs and sucked another hickey on the delicate skin before returning his attention to your core. He slowly circled your sensitive clit with a finger before licking his way up to suck on it. Once again, he continued his attention until you were at the very edge before withdrawing. Being edged once was hard, but the second time left you an absolute mess.

When Thrawn looked down on you, covered in his marks, eyes glazed over in lust and absolutely begging for completion, he lost the remnants of his control. He leaned back up to murmur, “Ch’eo ch’itiseb, how would you like me?”

“Stars, Thrawn, I don’t care. I just want you inside me now,” you moaned back at him as you reached up to help tug off his remaining clothing. After a few moments, he was also completely bare and leaning over you on the bed again.

With how desperate you felt, any time at all was too long, but your pleas and cries finally turned into more gasps and moans of pleasure as he finally lined his thick cock up with your entrance. The feeling of being so gloriously stretched and filled as he pushed in made your walls clench around him. Thrawn moaned at the sensation and began fucking you at a leisurely pace.

He leaned in to capture your lips in a burning, passionate kiss as his thrusts grew faster and your hips rose to meet them. His hands roamed your body, finding their way to pinch and tug at your nipples. You moaned into his mouth as you grew closer and closer to the high you’d been chasing all night.

Pausing between kisses, Thrawn suddenly grabbed your chin and stared into your eyes with his burning red ones before returning to kiss you hungrily. The unspoken message was clear: you were his. This new intensity, combined with his thrusts that came faster and faster, finally sent you over the edge into a shattering climax. Thrawn’s thrusts grew more and more erratic until he finished soon after you, coating your walls with his seed as he came.

As you both lay there in the afterglow, Thrawn mused, “I may have to find an excuse to be gone more often.”

Tags: @pretty-with-andorian-shingles @mittheresabosen @handbaskethell

[t0wnspersonb]

I Got You (Sugawara Koushi x Reader)

Anonymous said:

Are you taking requests? I was wondering if you could do a smut with sugawara. Like they get a little drunk, and YN sits in Suga’s lap. Then Suga says something like, ”i know we're just friends, so I'm sorry if I get hard.” and then you can finish it however. Thank you so much!

Anonymous said:

Hiiii I justo read tour Tsukishima post! Is just great! Would It be posible to request a scenario with suga and his S/o un which she is a bit "scared" of being intimate with him because her first sexual contacts weren't good. she was sexually harrased when younger and so She is a bit reluctant of intimate Contact or sex being afraid that it just the same she has experienced. Also being afraid if she doesn't do the do with him he Will leave her. And how would he respond to that?

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Word Count: 3,124

Warnings: SMUT, mentions of sexual assault, drinking, alcohol, Suga being a fucking precious bean, my shit writing

Summary: It’s been a couple of years since everyone on the volleyball team have been together, one night during a get together you end up having one too many drinks, resulting in Sugawara taking you home and confessing his feelings to you. But a situation from your past might prevent you from reciprocating those feelings. 

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So I decided to incorporate these two requests together, I hope you guys don’t mind! I also apologize in advance if the writing is terrible😭😭😭 also another note for you guys: IF MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ. SAME IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE ABOUT THE DRINKING. I NEVER WANT ANY OF MY READERS TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS STUFF MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.  This blog is all about feeling safe and being welcoming. So please do not read if any of those warnings make you uncomfortable. Thank you all for the love and support and I can’t wait to continue writing:)

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The team reunion was everything that you thought it would be. 

 Complete chaos.

 It had been several years since you all had graduated from Karasuno, naturally you guys had stayed connected with everyone despite the different lives you all lead now.

 But it was like it had never changed.

 Currently Daichi was yelling at Hinata’s and Kageyama’s rivalry, both deciding to see how many shots they could take.

 Team reunions and alcohol definitely didn’t mix.

 You sat beside Asahi, watching the madness unfold before you, debating on if you should sneak out now.

 “If Tanaka and Noya aren’t careful, Daichi is going to lose his mind on them soon too.” Asahi laughed nervously as he stared at the other chaotic duo causing a scene.

 “The youth these days can’t handle their liquor.” you sighed, shaking your head.

 “You’re drunk too Y/n.” Sugawara said in amusement, taking in your flushed face and slightly dazed expression. “And what youth? They’re only a year younger than us.”

 Well… he got you there. You weren’t super drunk per say, but you were definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol you had consumed. 

 But in your defense, you were also a light weight. 

 “Don’t be rude Suga-kun.” you pouted staring at the grey-haired male. “I’ve had a long day.”

 “And I haven’t?” he teased. Sugawara was a teacher at Karasuno, and the faculty advisor for the volleyball club.

 It suited him; you had thought. Sugawara was always kind and smart, the fact that he had chosen a career where he could display those characteristics was wonderful.

 He was wonderful.

 Out of the entire team, you had remained the closest to him after you all had gone your separate ways.

 That was to be expected though, considering that you two had been close since before high school, childhood friends.

 And let’s be honest, you still harbored an enormous crush on him.

 “- Shut up you two! You’re disturbing the people around you!”

 Daichi was now yelling at Tanaka and Noya, although the people around you consisted of the old volleyball team. 

 More commotion could be heard from Kageyama and Hinata, and then suddenly you found yourself being pulled onto the lap of Sugawara; a volleyball now resting when you had just been.

 You blinked in confusion.

 “Oi! You almost hit Y/n-chan! Where did you guys even get that ball!?” Daichi yelled.

 “Boke! Hinata! Boke!” Kageyama screamed.

 “Maybe you should just sit here for now.” Sugawara murmured next to your ear, his chin resting on the top of your shoulder as he stared at the scene(s) unfolding before you guys.

 “... Yeah.” you finally uttered out. “Were they always this bad?” you asked, thinking back to your days as a Karasuno manager.

 “Definitely.” Sugawara mused. “But maybe we shouldn’t have met up at a place that serves alcohol.”

 “No kidding.” You muttered under your breath, unconsciously shifting in Sugwara’s lap, making yourself more comfortable as you leaned into his strong chest.

 You both were oblivious to the eyes of Kiyoko and Asahi. They smirked slightly at the sight before them.

 Everyone knew of the crush you guys had on each other. It was obvious. But the fact that you guys had never dated, even after high school, baffled them completely.

 Maybe tonight would change that?

 You couldn’t help the laughter that began escaping your lips as the chaos increased, Daichi had all but given up lecturing everyone and now sat beside Ennoshita.

 You were completely unaware of the way that Sugarawa had stiffened underneath you. The hands that were wrapped around your waist carefully began shifting you, so that you weren’t resting directly on his crotch anymore.

 He could feel the slight race of his heart, and - well - the rising in his pants. He prayed that you didn’t notice.

 But it was just Sugarawa’s luck.

 You could feel the heat in your face rising rapidly, your heart beating just a tad quicker as you felt a growing hardness against the curve of your ass.

 “Suga.” you whispered; your mouth felt incredibly dry right now. “Is that -” “I’m sorry Y/n.” he interrupted you. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he said gently, attempting to move you off of his lap.

 You shook your head, waving him off. “I-It’s okay. Y-You don’t have to move me… unless you want to.”

 Both of you visibly froze at your words. Shit, maybe the liquid courage you had in your system made you too bold.

 “Okay.” he murmured, and carefully tugged you closer now. This caused your bottom to slide against his growing member as he attempted to adjust you comfortably on his lap now.

 Despite the growing tension and nerves between the two of you, you didn’t move. His arms were wrapped around your waist carefully, his chin returning to your shoulder as you guys continued watching your teammates/friends create havoc in the room.

 This felt natural, this felt… right. Being wrapped up in Sugawara’s arms was quite literally heaven on earth for you.

 His body heat felt extremely pleasant, despite how overheated you were feeling. The mouthwatering scent of his cologne filled your nose, you could feel his breath against your cheek as it stirred your hair, and the gentle rising and falling of his chest.

 “Kiyoko-san! Marry me!” Tanaka cried, reaching for the dark-haired female. 

 “Kiyoko-san is gonna marry me!” Noya said, shoving at his friend.

 This time it was Ennoshita that began yelling at them. 

 You could feel the rumble of Sugawara’s chest as he laughed quietly behind you. Unconsciously he pressed his face into your neck to muffle the noise. You gasped softly as you felt soft damp lips gently brush against your neck as he attempted to quiet his laughter.

 But he had heard the soft noise that escaped your mouth, his grip on you tightening just slightly.

 Sugawara couldn’t help but wonder what other noises you could make.

 This was definitely going to be a long night.

 ***

 All too soon the night had ended, but you found yourself being accompanied home by Sugawara. 

 He and the team were slightly worried about getting you home safely, considering that you were still a bit drunk, and lived the furthest away.

 But by the time you had gotten home you had sobered up dramatically, now you were just tired.

 “Would you like to come in for a bit?” you asked, gazing up at the male.

 His eyes searched your face for a moment before nodding. 

 Sugawara had been over to your home before, but for some reason it felt different. There was that slight thrill that you shouldn’t have invited him in, the air between you two still held that sexual tension.

 As you sat in the living room together, sipping on the tea you had made, it got worse.

 Should you… confess? Should you say something about earlier? 

 You were a grown ass woman for Christ sake, and you still couldn’t muster up the courage to tell your childhood friend that you’ve been in love with him since you were kids.

 “Y/n.” Sugawara said suddenly, pulling you from your brooding thoughts. He was staring at you seriously, shifting closer to you on the couch.

 “Y-Yes.” you answered back nervously, biting your bottom lip as you stared back. 

 “Can I… can I try something?” He asked softly, gently cupping the side of your face.

 Your lips parted at his sweet touch, nodding softly.

 And then he was kissing you. 

 It was gentle and sweet, his lips incredibly warm and soft as they moved carefully against yours.

 You melted against him, threading your fingers into his hair as the kiss deepened, the softness melting into something extremely passionate.

 You found yourself on your back, Sugawara hovering over your body. You could feel his hands sliding under your shirt, his soft fingers gently trailing upwards on your skin. His touch burned in a pleasant way, it left you breathless and trembling.

 A familiar burn began igniting in the lower pit of your stomach. 

 Until you felt him cup your breast carefully.

 An image you thought you had buried in the deepest pit of your memory came to the forefront of your mind, causing your body to break out in a cold sweat, you flinched hard and began shoving at Sugarawa, feeling trapped underneath his body.

 You yanked yourself away from him, feeling tears sting at the backs of your eyes as you sat up, carefully wrapping your arms around yourself.

 And then you froze, your eyes snapping over to Sugarawa who was staring at you in confusion and worry.

 “Y/n -” “I’m sorry!” you interrupted him, biting down the hysteria as you fought back the painful memories that wanted to invade your mind.

 “For what?” he asked gently, carefully moving closer to you, he gently placed a hand on your shoulder in comfort. “I shouldn’t have gone that far, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

 You shook your head, wiping at the tears in your eyes. “You don’t need to apologize Suga… It wasn’t your fault.”

 “I find that hard to believe.” he said quietly, carefully moving the hair over your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have forced it, you should’ve told me no if you didn’t feel the same way.” he said, smiling sadly at you. “I should go.”

 Panic overtook your body and you grabbed his hand tightly, preventing him from leaving. “Don’t go!” you cried. “It’s not like that! I... I’ve liked you for a while now Suga. Please don’t go.”

 His eyes widened at your sudden confession, and then softened dramatically as he took in your hysterical form.

 “Well what’s going on. Talk to me.” he murmured, taking your hand in his. His thumb rubbing soothing circles on the top of your hand.

 You could feel your heart racing in fear, if you told him would he leave you? Would he be sickened by you? Knowing that you were broken, tainted. 

 “Hey.” he lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to look at him. His expression was soft and sweet, understanding. “I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me. Let me take care of you.” he breathed, his thumb gently dragging against the bottom of your lip. “You’ve been in my life since we were kids. I’d like you to be in my life more than that now. So please… just talk to me.”

 The sincerity in his voice, in his face, sent warmth throughout your entire being. It sent away the coldness that you felt creeping into your heart.

 “My first boyfriend…” you said quietly after a moment of silence. “He wasn’t… he wasn’t always so nice to me. Of course, no one knew.”

 Sugawara stayed silent. 

 “His touch wasn’t like yours. It wasn’t wanted at all. But it happened…” you trailed off, lips trembling slightly at the memories.

 Sugawara inhaled sharply at your words, anger piercing into his heart. He remembered that boyfriend, he had almost lost his friendship with you because of that guy. The volleyball team almost lost one of their precious managers because of that guy.

 “It was never good… he was so rough and… it always hurt. I -um - I haven’t… been with someone like that since it happened.” you finished, blinking back tears. “But… if it means that you’ll keep liking me… then I don’t mind…” you trailed off.

 Sugawara had never been more upset in his entire life. Just the idea of someone touching you without you wanting them to, hurting you intentionally… he couldn’t even fathom it. Couldn’t even begin to sort out the rage that he felt.

 But this wasn’t about him. This was about you. This was about making sure that you were taken care of, that your needs were being met.

 He carefully tugged you onto his lap, gently cupping your face as he stared at you with such an intensity it left you breathless.

 “Darling, don’t you ever, ever, say that.” he breathed out, the anger in his eyes simmering down to something sad and soft. “I would never put you in a situation where you ever had to feel that… that the only way to keep me is by…” he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

 He took a shuddering breath in before opening his eyes and continuing. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do. All I want from this… is to make you feel loved and happy. I’ve waited years to hear that you like me too. And now that I know you feel the same way… I just want to make you happy.” 

 He rested his forehead against yours tenderly, your eyes fluttering shut automatically. 

 “So, we don’t have to do anything that you aren’t ready for yet.” he finished. “But if you do… I can promise you that I will make you feel good… I’ll always make you feel good. Okay?” he asked, his hand gently cupping the back of your neck.

 He stared at you with so much love and adoration, it caused your heart to clench tightly, the fear and worry dissolving from your body and replaced with a feeling of warmth and safety.

 “Suga.” you whispered softly, “I want… I want to try. Please?” 

 He nodded before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against your lips. The kiss you two began to share never escalated to something that you couldn’t handle, it remained sweet and tender. An unspoken promise of never-ending gentleness.

 Before you knew it, both of your guys’ clothes had found their way to the floor, you had ended up in your bedroom, entangling yourselves on the bed.

 “You’re perfect.” Sugawara breathed, his eyes dancing across your naked body. He was rock hard already, but right now his priority was you. It was always going to be you.

 “Can I touch you?” he asked sweetly, gazing at your face with a loving expression.

 You nodded, swallowing thickly as his fingers began dancing across your skin, to your most intimate area.

 Sugawara watched your expression closely as he trailed his fingers over your mound, brushing softly at the top of your slit. He watched as yours fluttered shut in pleasure, his fingers gently running up and down against your soaked entrance.

 “You’re so wet for me.” He breathed in awe, carefully pushing a finger in. You gasped at the unfamiliar intrusion, but then began to melt. You were actually starting to feel good. 

 It didn’t take long until you were trembling and whimpering in pleasure at his gentle touches. Sugawara cooing to you about how beautiful you were and how well you were doing the entire time.

 Without any warning you began unraveling beneath him, the tight coil in your stomach snapping, you moaned loudly as the pleasure overtook your body. Leaving you a trembling mess as you came down from your high.

 Sugawara couldn’t tear his eyes away. You were fucking beautiful, and the fact that he was able to give you so much pleasure, the fact that he was the first one to ever give that kind of pleasure, well, he had never been more satisfied in his entire life. 

 “Do you want more?” he asked softly. You nodded in a daze, but that previous fire began igniting once more at the thought of Sugawara giving you more.

 “Can we try something?” he asked, his fingers rubbing softly at your hip. 

 “Okay.” you whispered. He tugged your body in a sitting position before laying down beside you. His member standing up painfully tall, aching for attention, for relief.

 But again, this wasn’t about him. This was about you. Which was why he wanted to do it this way. He wanted you to set the pace, wanted you to take control, wanted you to feel in control of this situation.

 “Ride me.” He breathed gazing at you with half lidded eyes. “I’m all yours.”

 Something deep within your belly twisted pleasantly at his words, and carefully you climbed on top of him, your hands resting on his strong chest as you stabilized yourself. 

 You could feel his cock brushing against your entrance, causing you to gasp loudly at the feeling. His hands rested lightly on your hips as you settled yourself and then you began sinking down on him and -

 Holy Fuck. 

 The stretch that Sugawara provided left you breathless as you sunk all the down, his cock completely engulfed in your velvety walls.

 You sat still as you began to adjust to the size of him, to the new intrusion. Your gaze found Sugawara's face and your tight walls seized up in desperation.

 His eyes were closed shut, his mouth parted in deep pleasure as he felt your walls squeeze him deliciously.

 You were warm, and you were so fucking wet. 

 “You… can… ngh… you can move if you want.” Sugawara groaned out, his eyes fluttering open. He could’ve cum at the mere sight of you, sitting on top of him, looking absolutely sinful with how beautiful you were.

 You started biting your lower lip as you began to move, gliding your hips up and down and - oh. It’s never… it’s never felt like this before. Pleasure began rippling through you as you slid up and down Sugawara’s cock. 

 Soft zaps of pleasure shooting up your spine. Sugarawa’s hands were resting on your hips, helping to guide you up and down. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, not with the sounds escaping your lips and your sweet expression that was twisted in pleasure.

 “I got you.” he breathed out. “I can feel it… just let go. I got you. Cum for me darling.” you were drastically getting tighter and tighter, your body readying yourself for another orgasm.

 So, you did.

 The euphoria that erupted within your body had you gasping for breath, your entire lower body locking down, causing Sugawara to release himself deep inside of you.

 He moaned your name out loudly, carefully bucking his hips up as he spilled into you. 

 You collapsed onto his chest, both of you trying to catch your breath. He gently began pushing your hair to the side, his hands rubbing up and down your back. Sugawara pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you murmured his name softly against his neck.

 “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just sleep.” he cooed.

 You could feel your eyes fluttering shut at his warm touch and softly spoken words, you had never been more comfortable, more content, in your entire life until now. 

 You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you woke up, but one thing that you were sure of, was that you were hopelessly in love with Sugawara.

[donutloverxo]

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Note - this is part of my soft!reader universe and a sequel to on the run. You don't have to read them to understand this but I do suggest to check em out!

special thanks to sister wives @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @stargazingfangirl18 for their input!

Summary - Steve learns that good things are meant to be shared.

Warnings - smut, mfm threesome, wife sharing, daddy kink, dom Steve, dom Bucky, sub reader, rough sex, light anal stuff

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader x Bucky Barnes

Word count - 2.6k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

Bucky had always been a loyal friend to Steve. Steve was someone who was more than just a friend, their relationship transcends that of a traditional male friendship. They were brothers and practically family. Bucky protected Steve back when he was just a little guy from Brooklyn, not just because he needed it but also because he loved the little troublemaker. He will forever be grateful to Steve for protecting him and believing in him when no one else did.

Which is why he felt extremely disgusted with himself to have feelings, if one can even call them that, for you, Steve’s wife. The punk actually got himself a wife. A beautiful one at that.

Bucky was excited to meet you, especially because Steve couldn’t stop talking about you. He was obviously so proud of you. ‘You have got to meet her Buck. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.' He gushed.

And yeah he was pleased to meet you, but not in the way that would be considered proper. As soon as you shed your thick coat and put on that thin tank top, he could see your plump and curvy figure.

He had to fucking lay there and listen to your moans and whimpers as Steve fucked you just two feet away from him! Did you call him daddy? When the fuck did Steve become such a stud? He didn’t even know how to talk to women! The whole time he wanted to touch his aching cock, relieve some pressure. But that would mean he won’t hear your angelic sounds and cute but useless attempts to stay quiet. He did go to the bathroom to relieve himself. And yes he did think about you and how you must look naked. He was already going to hell.

He thought that would be the end of it. He would stay in Wakanda while you and Steve went to Europe. As much as he'd miss not being able to see you or get to know you, at least he wouldn’t have that kind of temptation.

But then a year later, unceremoniously, you came to his little house on the farm. You were staying in Wakanda for a month while Steve was on a mission.

‘I can’t stay in the palace.’ You lips jutted out slightly quivering as you looked at him hand Bucky had to do everything in his power to not hug you close to him ‘I don’t know anyone there. I miss home. I want to stay with you please.’ You begged.

And of course he said yes. How could he turn you away when you looked him with those puppy dog eyes, when he promised Steve he would look after you.

Living with you was as amazing as it was torturous. You lounged around the house in your small cotton 60s style nighties because ‘Stevie likes them and I do too!’ and of-fucking-course you hated wearing panties. He had gotten a generous view of your cunt at least three times. Sometimes he thought you did it deliberately. Just to tease him. But you seemed too innocent and sweet to play those kinds of games.

There was more to it then him getting to ogle your beautiful body everyday. You were kind, sweet, honest and funny. He could see why Steve was so crazy about you. With you around he didn’t feel so lonely. There was that night you sneaked into his room because you couldn’t stop worrying about Steve. He could see how homesick you were. He was also longing to go back home, only his home no longer exists. He cuddled you as you braided his hair and marvelled at how silky and soft it was.

The next morning you were back to your happy bubbly self. Having no idea that you had ruined him. He had a crush on his best friends wife. How do you tell someone that?

He didn’t feel jealous when you ran into Steve’s arms, kissing him all over his face when he came back. He cared for you both and you deserved each other. You deserved to be happy. Steve was just as happy to see Bucky and how you and him had become such good friends in just one month.

Bucky spent the next week catching up with Steve. There wasn’t much he could tell Steve about but he had plenty to share. Along with your wedding pictures and he was just reminded of how ethereal your beauty is.

What he never in a million years would have expected was for Steve to ask–

“Do you like her?” He asked but it was a rhetorical question. He didn’t really expect an answer.

“I do. There isn’t much not to like.” Bucky played dumb. He was dumb to think that Steve wouldn’t notice his lingering stares.

“You know what I mean.” He retorted his eyebrows furrowed.

“She’s – she’s beautiful. I’m happy for you. My feelings don’t matter.” He said honestly. No matter how much he desired you, he would never act on it.

“Turns out she might like you too” Steve said casually taking a sip of his whiskey leaving Bucky stunned.

Which is what led him here. With you completely bare, spare for your yellow panties with little red hearts on them. He was sitting on the edge of your bed, you stood in front of him, your nipples hard as you shivered. Steve knelt behind you to rolls down your panties leaving you naked as the day you were born in front of both the men.

Steve stood up on his feet, tossing your panties away. You hummed as kissed you under your ear. You relaxed as he massaged your shoulders. “Are you nervous princess?” He asked and you nodded. “What are our words?”

“Green for keep going, yellow for slow down and red for stop” You said biting your lip as Bucky’s hungry eyes took you in.

You were curvy, a lot like women back in his day. Your hips a bit larger than your bust, he couldn’t wait to see what your ass looked like. If it was as plump as he imagined. His hands were shivering, he needed to touch your round heavy breasts. Squeeze them to see if they were as soft as they looked. But he didn’t know just how far he was allowed to go. Thanks to the serum he could smell your arousal, he would die if you didn’t let him dip his fingers or his cock in your heat.

“What do you want baby?” Steve murmured in your hair and placed a soft kiss there. He drew small circles on your hips urging you to speak.

“I want – I want to suck his cock” You shivered feeling Steve’s length pressing against your ass through his sweats. You were the only one naked and you should feel completely vulnerable. But you trusted Steve with your life and you had come to trust Bucky as well. You didn’t feel ashamed, no you were proud. That you could get these amazing men to bend to your orders.

“Then do it sweetheart.” Steve pushed you down and you hissed as your knees touched the cold hard floor. You trembling hands worked to undo Bucky’s pants and pull his cock out of his boxers. You had only ever seen Steve’s cock, but you decided then and there that Bucky’s was your second most favorite. You admired it for a minute, licking a stripe up his slit before taking him in your mouth.

You felt Steve kneel behind you, with his knees on either side of you, pulling your hair over your shoulders he caressed your back “My girl does whatever I tell her” Steve said petting the back of your head “isn’t that right princess?”

You reluctantly pulled Bucky out of your mouth, because you know what happens if you don’t answer. “Yes daddy” You rasped gulping for some air as a strong of your spit connected you to Bucky’s cock. You opened wide to take him back in your mouth. But he was much girthier than Steve, it was a struggle to fit him. You whimpered around his cock as you tried to swallow as much of him as you could.

“She just needs a little guidance sometimes.” Steve hushed you pulling your hair into a pony tail and pushing on the back of your head.

Even if your lips were wrapped around his cock and you were gagging around him. Bucky felt as if he was an outsider looking into an intimate moment with you and Steve. He didn’t want that. Even if he could never have you, he wanted you to remember him. He wanted to make some sort of impact on you. He took a hold of your face lifting his hips up to thrust into it. “You call him daddy. What will you call me doll?” He asked slowly fucking into your face as you looked up at him with your big doe eyes, tearing falling down your cheeks.

“Hm. How about sir?” Steve suggested still pushing on your head. He wouldn’t take too kindly to Bucky being the only one fucking you.

Bucky pulled you off his cock as you coughed and stuttered gasping for breathe. “Yes” you heaved “Sir” you gave him a dazed smile dropping your jaw and silently begging him to continue his assault on your mouth. He groaned shoving his cock in your mouth.

“Breathe through your nose sweetheart.” Steve cooed. Always so worried about you. You took as much of Bucky as you could, breathing through your nose as Steve suggested. Closing your eyes shut to stop the tears. You wanted to do your happy dance as you felt your nose touch the little curls at the base of Bucky’s cock, his tip hitting the back of your throat. You had never been able to deep throat Steve. Even though Bucky was a bit smaller than Steve you couldn’t help but feel so accomplished.

You pulled up for air and looked over your shoulder to Steve. Wiping your cheeks and mouth “Daddy” You said proudly.

“Yes princess” He kissed your wet cheek “I’m so proud of you baby. You’re doing so good” You whimpered, his praise going straight to your core “You’re such a good girl. You deserve a reward” And you hummed looking back to Bucky’s hard cock, not wanting to keep him waiting to long you swallowed him whole again.

Steve pulled your hips and arched your ass up. You struggled to balance your weight on your hands and knees for a moment before finding a good position. You moaned around Bucky’s length as you felt Steve’s hot tongue invading your folds. “Shit” Bucky groaned pushing your head down holding it at his base “Do that again doll” He groaned as you moaned again. Extra loudly this time.

You felt ropes of his cum in your mouth as he held onto your head for dear life. You swallowed around him and felt him soften in your mouth.

You yelped when Steve’s finger prodded at your pluckered hole. “Keep Bucky’s cock warm while I get you ready. Will you do that for me princess?” Steve asked pushing two fingers into your pussy and fucking your ass and your heat at with his fingers at the same time.

You only hummed laying your head on Bucky’s thigh and suckling on his cock. It was all too much and too little at the same time. You needed his or Bucky’s cock inside you. You perked up when you heard Steve undress behind you. You cried out around Bucky’s cock as Steve sheathed himself in you in one single stroke. He squeezed your hips, rolling his against them. He thrusted into you jerking you forward again and again. You moaned as you felt the sting and the smack of his slap on your ass. “You having fun?” He asked thrusting deep inside you, his tip brushing that spot that drives you crazy “This what you wanted?” He snapped his hips harshly again and again. All you could do was take it and occasionally swallow your spit around Bucky’s cock.

Bucky was too entranced by the sight to do anything. He could feel his cock hardening again. It was strangely voyeuristic and arousing to see Steve rutting into you. His face contorted in pleasure, his torso and neck flushed red. He was happy for you seeing that the serum had enhanced everything. “That’s enough” He took you off his cock and consoled you as you whine at the loss. “I’m gonna fuck her.” Bucky declared. He wasn’t gonna be shy or ask for permission anymore. You both had roped him into whatever the hell this is.

“She’s all yours” You whimpered again as Steve pulled out of you. Leaving you all empty. “Do your knees hurt baby?” Steve cooed and you nodded. You had forgotten about how the cold floor was pinching you. Steve never let you spend any time on your knees cause you were a princess and he didn’t want you being in pain. Well the bad kind of pain. He had no qualms about spending hours on his knees worshiping you.

Steve picked you up in his arms, you were basically putty, unable to move or to speak. He gently laid you on the soft mattress, your head hitting the pillow. He sat down next to you running his hands through your hair wordlessly checking in on you.

“I’m sorry doll” Bucky murmured kissing your bruised knees. He shrugged of his clothes and settled himself between your legs.

“It’s ok sir” You hummed kissing Steve’s hand.

“I don’t think I like you calling me that” he lifted your hips up to elevate them up a bit “It’s too formal” he teased your entrance with his tip before sinking into you. You threw your head back, moaning at the delicious burn as he snapped his hips fucking you with vigor. He leaned down hovering above you and captured your lips with his moaning at your sweet taste mixed with his own musky scent. He stood back again so he could look at your bouncing breasts as he fucked into you.

You moaned as Steve latched his lips onto your nipple, pinching and pulling on the other one between his fingers. “Oh god. You’re so tight. I’m not gonna last” Bucky grunted his thrusts losing their rhythm and becoming erratic. Steve snaked a hand down rolling your clit before stroking it “You gonna cum around Bucky’s cock baby?” Steve teased drawing patterns on your clit and going back to suck on your hard bud.

You could only let out a whined barely there ‘Yes'. You felt as if you were seeing stars as you came hard around Bucky’s cock and gushing over Steve’s fingers. You blacked out as you felt Bucky empty his warm cum inside you. He collapsed on top you before moving to the side. His chest rising and falling out of the corner of your eye.

You looked towards Steve as you heard him quietly groan. He was pumping his angry red cock with his fist, his other hand fondling your breast. “Daddy” You mused “I want to –“

“Shh” He groaned cutting you off “Your throat must be sore baby. It’s ok-ay” He laid his hand flat on the bed to balance himself cumming all over your stomach. He laid down next you and pulled you into him.

You felt Bucky stirring beside You and getting up. You pulled at his bicep to stop him. Pleading him to cuddle with you. “Just a minute doll” He cooed kissing your forehead and disappearing into the bathroom. Returning with a warm and wet cloth he cleaned up your sore pussy and wiped your torso. He tossed the cloth aside and draped an arm across you and cuddled with you just as you demanded.

Cocooned between them both you feel it’s the warmest and the safest place for you.

Tags will be in the reblog! If you want in on the taglist lemme know or click the link in the bio.

Please note that my work is NOT to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account. Reblogs are most welcome though.

[amerrierworld]

Don’t Hide Us

for the request: idk if you write this, but would u do Lou x Debbie x reader smut? if not just Lou works. Maybe at the end the team finds out they're together and they all have big reactions xoxo

Summary: An evening of strip poker ends with a surprise.. or rather six surprises. 

Characters: Lou x Debbie x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,467

Warnings: smut with both our ladies but more dom!lou, and some fluff at the end :D

Being with two other people was not easy, especially when said people were heavily involved with frequent criminal activities. Despite being quite mature and  organized, they were also absolute crackheads.

You don’t know how it happened, but you had somehow been pulled into a game of strip poker- and halfway through you realized they most likely had rigged the whole thing, because you were nearly naked in your chair in just  your undergarments, and Lou and Debbie wore shit-eating grins. 

“It’s really not fair if you two always gang up on me, you know,” you huffed as your second sock came off. 

“What are you talking about, we’re playing absolutely fair,” Lou replied. Her tie had come off and was now wrapped around her head, messing up her bangs. She was only wearing her silky waistcoat and boxer briefs, but seemed the most relaxed. Debbie, like you, was in her bra, but was still wearing her high-waisted pants.

“Bullshit, Miller,” you scoffed, taking a sip from your drink. “Now hurry up, I'm getting chilly over here.”

Lou’s bar club was closed tonight, and you three were sitting close to the pool table, a languid playlist thumping through the large speakers. Dimmed lights, surrounded by the smell of vodka and cigarette smoke. You felt a deep heat stir inside you as Debbie wormed her way out of her pants after losing another round. 

Lou took her time looking her over as well until she flicked at the dangling tie from her head,

“We’re still playing, Lou. Get back to it.”

You giggled at the sight of them, which made them look over at you simultaneously, and you felt your stomach drop. Unsurprisingly, you lost the next game.

“I’ll turn the heat up for you baby,” Lou grinned as you moved to take off your bra. You blushed, shimmying in your seat as the cool air made goosebumps rise along your body. 

Debbie reached over to run a hand over your shivering thigh. The table you sat at was a small, round wooden table, and a single lamp hung above all three of you, swinging precariously.

“Oi, no touching yet, Debs,” Lou scolded, bumping the brunette in the arm. “We’re still playing, right?”

Debbie pouted dramatically, but you played on. Your nipples were practically aching from the cold air warring with your internal heat, making you squirm against your hard wooden chair.

Then suddenly and unexpectedly, Lou lost a round. Her fingers danced along the buttons of the waistcoat teasingly, eyeing both you and Debbie with a grin.

“Maybe we should call it after this,” you suggested, because Lou’s abdomen was slowly coming to light and your mouth was watering. 

“Agreed,” Debbie sighed. Lou had kept her chains and jewelry on, and you hated the way they accentuated her neck and wrists and fingers, hated how you were distracted by them.

A rush of cold air gave you a rush of adrenaline as your heart rate picked up, and you practically flew across the table to grab Lou and kiss her hard before she even got the article of clothing off. 

Her chair was tipping back and would have fallen had Debbie not reached over and steadied it. Lou’s hands were warm and large and ran over your back as you sat on the table in front of her, your legs spreading and revealing the obvious wetness gathering between your thighs through your underwear. 

“We’re not finished the game yet, baby,” she said. You immediately yanked your underwear down and tossed it with the rest of your abandoned clothes.

“There, I lose,” you pushed up and then you were straddling her in her chair, rubbing against her warm thighs. Her hands came up on your back, large and firm, as you kept kissing her. 

“I think she’s extra feisty tonight, Deb,” Lou said huskily. You had grabbed one of her longer chains in between your teeth and made direct eye contact with her as you clasped the gold jewelry in your mouth.

“I don’t blame her,” the brunette’s voice was low, quiet, and she moved to toss the rest of the cards and chips off the table before putting herself where you had been sitting moments ago. Her feet rested on the edge of the chair, by your thighs, so you were effectively trapped  by the two women. 

You were enjoying the lavish attention you were getting from them both, until Debbie yanked your hair back and sucked hard on your neck. You lost your grip on Lou’s neck and fell back against Debbie, instead wrapping your hands around her upper thighs, nails digging into her skin. 

Then Lou’s lips were wrapping around one of your nipples and you squealed as a warm tongue slid across the hard nub. 

Lou was restless, you could tell, because she didn’t hesitate to bring a hand to you cunt and rub a thumb over your clit as Debbie continued her assault on your neck. 

Lou’s hands were holding your own thighs down so you could  barely move between the two of them, and continued to rub you furiously. Your abdomen muscles kept spasming as she passed over your sensitive clit, tighter and tighter until you shook with a whining, shaking orgasm. 

You collapsed against Debbie, who momentarily lost her balance, and then suddenly was lying flat on the table, you on top of her.

“Oh, perfect,” you heard Lou whisper, before your legs were yanked apart to spread and hook over Debbie’s thighs underneath you. You felt a brush of hair against your inner thighs and then Debbie gasped loudly underneath you, her mouth right by your ear and her grip on you unforgiving. 

Lou was eating Debbie out on the table as you lay limply on top of her, feeling her tremble and shake under you. Her arm wrapped tightly around your middle to have something to hold onto. You could hardly move. You tried squirming and doing something because her gasps and whimpers and the sounds of Lou’s mouth on her cunt made you desperate again. 

You could only watch the lamp hanging above you, swaying hypnotically as you felt Debbie’s legs rise and buck. Her lips sucked on your neck again, teeth nibbling until you groaned out loud. 

You sat up, watching Lou fuck Debbie with her tongue inside her. Then you reached down with your own  hand and lightly touched Debbie’s swollen clit, and she nearly threw you off of her. Lou grinned at you with her eyes; her own hands were occupied in holding Debbie steady, so you  sat about rubbing her clit with deft fingers until you heard that familiar cry, and she came on Lou’s tongue.

Lou sat back, spreading her legs and grinning at the sight of both of her girls laying exhausted on the table. You caught her eye and she licked her lips, pupils blown. 

Your legs were shaky as you attempted to get off the table, helping Debbie up in a sitting position, her chest heaving, sweat shining in the poorly lit space. Lou rubbed her legs, almost apologetically for making her thrash and whine so much. They kissed languidly, and Debbie reached down to cup her between her legs, but she pulled her hand away and sucked two of her fingers in her mouth before saying,

“No. Later,” she said, conclusively. She looked over at you and pulled you closer, and your hands subconsciously came up to play with her necklaces again.

“This was my idea after all,” Lou said, “and you two look- well, thoroughly fucked. If I may say so myself.”

-

You walked back slowly- because your legs felt stiff. You were still adjusting your outfit, feeling like everyone around you could see the dark bruising forming on your neck. And that everyone could see Lou and Debbie’s messed up hair- or the fact that all your clothes were wrinkled and messy. 

The evening sun was hiding behind the skyline and the sky was a lot darker by the time the three of you had reached Lou’s place, only you were stopped in your tracks by someone waiting on the front steps.

“Constance?” Lou asked, baffled, her hand slipping out of yours. The young woman was standing at Lou’s door, undeterred and munching on a Subway sandwich.

“Oh, hey! Where you been? I’ve been calling like, non-stop,” she said, “I was gonna return the key, remember?”

She jangled a set of keys that you recognized- everyone from the team had received a copy of them during their heist, and Lou groaned,

“Shit- I completely forgot. I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”

“Nah, Tammy drove me.”

“Tammy? What- where-”

A honk from the street made you look over and see Tammy in the driver’s seat of a car waiting by the curb. She was grinning and waved her hand at the group of you standing on the sidewalk. Next to her was Amita.

“Did you bring everyone or something?” Lou said, exasperated.

“Uh, of course not! Just them- and Nineball. She’s in the backseat.”

“Why?” Debbie nearly shouted, holding your hand even tighter. 

Constance jangled the keys again, and this time you noticed there were far more than just one person’s set of keys- they must’ve gotten together to carpool the keys to Lou’s after Constance had planned to drop them off. And now they all saw the three of you walking home- clothes disheveled and covered in lipstick prints.

You groaned, knowing your state, wondering how it looked, wondering if they’d found out yet. This wasn’t really how you had planned to tell the team. You weren’t sure if any of you three had been planning to tell anyone at all. 

“You’re a thief, Connie, couldn’t you have just broken in?” Debbie added, bringing you back to the conversation, “would’ve saved everyone some time.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Constance grinned as Lou brought everyone inside. 

You nearly sprinted up the stairs, wanting to get out of sight as soon as possible, but Lou had grabbed your hand before could even take one step.

“Not so fast,” she whispered hoarsely, “you’re gonna suffer just as much as us. No abandoning post.”

You pouted at her but relented, welcoming the other four women who started chatting.

“I’m terribly sorry if it's a bad time!” Tammy said, “but it’s been so long since all of us have been together, you know? And I was only in town for a little while, so I thought I’d reach out to Connie and-”

“It’s fine,” Debbie interrupted her, sincerely, but slightly frustrated, “it’s good to see you all. Although we don’t have everyone in, only-”

As if on cue, the door that had been left open a crack swung open all the way, revealing Rose and Daphne, arm in arm.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Lou sighed, and you grinned, sliding up to her and pulling on her hand with yours,

“Picked the wrong night for poker, huh?”

“Oh my goodness, girls!” Daphne squealed, pushing her thick sunglasses on top of her head, glossy lips spreading wide. “We were just passing through- had no idea everyone was getting together!”

“Neither did we,” Debbie replied, receiving their hugs and hello’s.

“So what were you three up to before you got back?” Amita asked, oh so innocently. You nearly choked on a can of Coke.

“We were... out,” Debbie said bluntly. You could see in her eyes; she was blanking entirely on how to recover from this. 

“I was teaching them how to play poker at the club,” Lou added, absentmindedly picking at her nails. 

“But... you only ever take people out for poker on a date, Lou,” Tammy piped up, confused. Of course Tammy would fucking know that.

There was a dreaded silence, and you realized you were absolutely fucked when the first voice cried out,

“No! No way!” Okay, so Constance had definitely figured it out. You blushed furiously, only confirming her suspicions as she scanned you and your  girlfriends.

“What?” Debbie snapped.

“You guys are fucking, aren't you?” Nineball asked, nonchalantly, as if that wasn’t one of the biggest revelations of the century. 

You expected screams- a major uproar, glasses to be thrown in surprise, but instead, there was a moment of stunned silence before there was a collective “Oooohhhh...” of realization. Then they all began talking over each other

“You know what, that makes a lot of sense-”

“Yeah I was beginning to wonder if you really just didn’t care about fashion with how your outfit looked- or if you just hadn’t seen a mirror...”

“Oh my god, it’s bad enough Debbie mothers all of us already. Now there’s three of you together?”

“I kept asking Y/N if she was seeing anyone and wanted a blind date or something, but she was so vague-”

“So how is the wedding going to work?”

“Isn’t that, like, a lot of limbs to deal with?”

“For some reason I’m surprised but also not at all.”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Lou shouted, finally shutting your friends up. “Yes, fine, the three of us are seeing each other. But we’re not just fucking, alright?”

“It’s an actual relationship, and if any of you have a problem with that, you can get the hell out.”

“Holiday shopping must be so expensive,” Rose murmured over to you as your girlfriends kept defending your situation, and you couldn’t help but giggle. And then you began laughing, loudly. So absurd was the situation that you couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Is something funny?” Debbie asked, crossing her arms, annoyed. You giggled and nodded,

“Yes, all of this is funny.” 

You got up and crossed over to Lou and Debbie, holding their hands and looking over your group of friends; none of them showing any sort of malice, only content amusement and smiles.

“I find it funny that you’re both getting so worked up about it when no one here is having an issue with our relationship. Nothing’s gonna change from how it was before, right guys?”

A few nodded in response and you smiled, absent-mindedly straightening Lou’s askew tie.

“So there’s really no problems then, hm? Why don’t we just... crack open some beers and keep the party going?”

Constance hollered in agreement, and just like that, the atmosphere was back to normal, drinks were being opened, and although your throuple situation was still a topic of conversation, it wasn’t nearly as malicious as you thought it would be. 

“You know, I always had an inkling that something was going on, but I couldn’t put my finger on it,” Daphne said, gleefully. You rolled your eyes and gave her a glass of wine.

“Got room for one more?” Nineball asked. Lou chucked an empty soda can at her head.

[nikethestatue]

ok so u know these posts where azriel is made out to be toxic? and they say he does it with mor and elain. let’s say that’s true. literally what makes them think the same thing wouldn’t happen with gwyn?? if he had this so called toxic behavior with 2 women what makes gwyn so special he wouldn’t do it with her? like why are they acting like gwyn is prythian’s therapist? i find it very hypocritical and i promise you gwyn isn’t special.

He is only toxic when he is with the 'wrong' woman. All his toxicity disappears when he is with Gwyn. But let's examine, shall we?

Let's recall the times he was 'toxic'.

Mor:

He told Mor that she cannot/should not go to the Human Lands and try to infiltrate the Human Queens' palace, because she'd be caught and strung up.

Rhys agreed with him.

Cassian, by the way, told her a similar thing, later on, when he told her that he didn't want her to go to the continent, and needed her with the army.

Rhys agreed with him.

Are they also toxic?

Azriel lost his temper against Eris during the HL meeting. He didn't lose his temper against Mor. He didn't say anything to her at all. She was insulted and he assaulted the person with whom he had a very bad and turbulent history.

He was the only one who spoke up against Tamlin when Tamlin was insulting Feyre, his High Lady. He warned Talmlin, another High Lord not to speak to Feyre the way Tamlin did.

Perhaps, he doesn't like it when women are insulted? Maybe it goes back to watching his mother who was abused and insulted and tormented by his father and stepmother? Perhaps it's knowing about what happened to Cassian's mother too? Perhaps it's watching what happened to women in Illyria, how they were clipped and treated in general?

Maybe he attempts to protect and defend and save females, because there is residual guilt of a son who couldn't protect him mother?

Going back to Mor. He clearly had feelings for Mor, at least back in the day, when they were teens. She and his 'best friend', both knowing of his feelings for her, still went ahead and slept together. Not only did they betray him as a friend/brother, but also put Mor in grave danger. The whole affair resulted in Azriel volunteering to go into AC and rescue her. It was he who found her with nails embedded in her womb. So, did 'toxic' Azriel go on some crazed revenge journey? Did he guilt Mor for sleeping with Cassian? Did he challenge Cassian? He did none of those things. He wanted to evoke the BD against Eris and Beron, perhaps wouldn't mind killing Keir, but he was so toxic and completely incapable of controlling his emotions and behaviours, wouldn't he have done all of those things? What's more, knowing that it's Mor's right to call the BD, he, and Cassian, stepped back, letting her deal with the situation as she saw fit.

Beyond that, with Mor--what did he ever do to her? He sat next to her at the dinner table? He looked at her? They do live as a family unit, and it would be hard not to glance at her. From what we know, it was Mor who begged him to go and finally dragged him to Rita's, it's Mor who was capable of getting him to talk, it was Mor who held his hand, who had no problem sunbathing in front of him and Cassian when they were sparring. It was Mor who had an assigned chair in HoW with a golden pillow. If she was so disturbed by him and he was so threatening in his actions, wouldn't we logically assume that perhaps she'd avoid him like the plague? She never did. In fact, she very much did the opposite.

Lastly, Elain.

So his toxicity stems from the fact that unlike Amren and Rhys he doesn't want to send someone he cares for and someone who is not tested at all in any kind of combat/scrying to find objects so powerful that they had to be 'forgotten' by the world?

He voiced his opinion, not even in front of her, but to his HL and part of the IC who are making these decisions. Did Cassian want Nesta to go? Or scry? Not so much.

What else did he do? He armed Elain with TT? Did he say that she should be hidden somewhere? No. He did what he could for her, and that was that.

Now, curiously, the same people who claim that he is possessive, domineering and toxic towards Elain and Mor, in the same breath claim that him not reacting to Gwyn being in the Blood Rite and caring little about her, and sort of forgetting that she was part of the whole deal was because he felt that 'they trained her well' and she was in no real danger.

So which one is it?

I think that the most honest answer would be--he does care for Mor and Elain. Doesn't want them to get hurt. But doesn't curtail their freedom or capabilities. He doesn't really care about Gwyn in the same way. He doesn't want her to be hurt, I am sure, but she in not front and center in his mind. He isn't 'changed' with Gwyn, isn't better --he is just not into her.

Bottom line is that I refuse to qualify him as misogynistic or toxic. I feel like he respects women much more than some other, very prominent, male characters in the books. Not wanting to see the woman you love/like in danger isn't some flex on her autonomy. It's a pretty normal thing that men are conditioned to do.