#it’s ALL flashbacks and EXPOSITION and world building

[baronessofmischief]

Rebel Moon on Netflix is sooooooo soso bad guys 😂 like at least there’s space Charlie Hunnam with a Scottish accent and sometimes the main character has a flashback where she has a better haircut AND there’s a sibling duo who have the best costumes in the movie but the story? The script? The movie structure? Cohesiveness? Absolutely terrible. And there’s still 45 minutes left

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello! This is my first time asking but I could I have some advice on how to write a story that starts in the climax of the plot already? The context is my MC woke up and they are not able to remember anything, but suddenly, he just woke up in the wards of his family (a very strong political figure in their world might I add) whom he told what his life was but the narratives they are telling does not match even in the slightest of the flashback that's plaguing him as the time stretches. And they were in the middle of the war, too. I'm having a hard time to achieve that mind-blowing... thrill I suppose? They also got a love interest that is unmistakably not the one his family claimed ‘their-spouse’ to be.

Starting with Inciting Incident

Remember: your story's climax is the moment your character faces off against the antagonist once and for all. While some stories do start at the climax, and then flashback to the beginning of the story to build back up to it, it doesn't mean you start at the climax and move forward from there.

I think there can be a lot of confusion with the concept of "In Media Res" which a lot of people confuse as meaning starting in the literal middle of the story, or at the inciting incident or climax. Instead, "in media res" simply means starting in the middle of the action. That action can be the inciting incident, the climax, or the literal middle, but again, it doesn't mean the story moves forward from there.

If you're starting your story at the point where your character wakes up without their memories, this isn't the climax but rather the inciting incident. This is the moment when their life and world are turned upside down. Starting at this moment in a story about memory loss is a great way to go, because your reader knows as little about the character and their world as the character does. It puts the reader in your character's shoes right from the start, and they'll be learning everything right alongside your character.

So, that's really the key is to make sure you're filling in the gaps left by not having an exposition. You'll need to make sure to fairly quickly illustrate this character's natural personality, the world they've woken up into, and what their life was apparently like before they lost their memories. If they're being lied to, you may want to build in some clues that hint at what their actual life was like--such as feeling a place is familiar to them even if they're told "no, you would never have been to such a place."

As far as creating that thrill in that opening moment, it's really going to come down to emotional and sensory description. In lieu of recognizing who they are, where they are, and what happened to them, they're going to focus on their immediate surroundings. What can they see, hear, smell, taste, feel? What does that sensory input tell them about who they are and where they are? How does that sensory input--and what they can learn from it--make them feel? What emotions are they feeling as they process this unfamiliar environment and realize they have no idea who they are, where they are, or what happened to them?

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[jacquelynlscott]

🥉 Three Elements for Writing the Setting of Your Story

🔑 The setting of a story is where and when your book happens. Your book setting is important because almost everything your character does will be affected by when and where they do them.

The three elements for how to write your story setting are time, location, and environment.

⌛ Time

Time is the when of your story. When thinking about your book, consider these when’s:

📅 What year? Your time period affects everything about your character. What clothes they wear, the technology and language they use, and their ability to move and interact in the world. A person in 1700 Europe isn’t going to use a cell phone to call someone, just like a person in 2023 United States isn’t going to speak Middle English.

🍁 What time of year? Is it winter, spring, summer, or fall? A character living in a Canadian winter isn’t going to spend time outdoors in a t-shirt and shorts. A person visiting Arizona in the middle of summer likely isn’t going to walk around in a jacket and jeans, no matter how stylish.

⌚ What time of day? This is more significant for scenes than the book as a whole. You can use the time of day to create a particular mood, such as nighttime for a feeling of danger or mystery. You should also consider the time of day for what your character is about to do. For example, someone likely isn’t going jewelry heisting at noon on a Monday.

⏳ Is time passing? Pay attention to how time is unfolding throughout your scenes and story as a whole. You have to account for any time that passes between scenes, when characters travel, or when you insert a flashback. Make sure your reader knows when your scene is happening, or they’ll be lost.

🗺️ Location

The location of your story is as broad as the country and region and as specific as the neighborhood or house. Like the time period, the location of your setting will affect your characters in all aspects of their lives: what they wear, how they speak, if they walk or drive or take the bus, etc.

If your book is fantasy, you will need to do some very detailed world-building work. A fantastic resource for this is The World Building Leviathan from Kittyspace.

🌲 Environment

The environment of your manuscript includes the physical world and social, political, and cultural influences of the time and location.

Take into consideration the environment’s climate and how it impacts your characters. For example, a character living in the tropics will have a vastly different life than someone living in the mountains of North Carolina.

What is the cultural, political, and social environment like in your character’s time period and hometown? These aspects can impact what your character believes in and the different values they hold dear. Societal norms vary across time and place, and it will take a lot of research to make sure you’re getting it right.

🙅‍♀️ Setting Don’ts

Newer authors often think they need a lot of exposition about the setting up front. This is called a “data dump,” and they are often very difficult to read. You don’t want to bore your readers with a lot of information about your world upfront. Rather, allow your setting to reveal itself slowly, either through your character or short bits of exposition throughout.

If you’re writing a fantasy or historical novel, avoid treating everyday objects as novelties. Even if that object is unique to you, it would not be unique to your character. If something is supposed to be ordinary to your character, treat it like it’s ordinary.

Check out jacquelynlscott.com for a free downloadable setting worksheet to help you think through the setting of your book or scene.

[tio-trile]

Obligatory sorry if you're fed up with GO2 asks!

I'm a new fan of the show (like, a few weeks after season 2 came out a friend lent me their Prime acc to binge watch everything) and haven't read the book at all but!

It's like in S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them kind of,, in S1 the point of view shifted almost constantly and at the end the plotlines converged together in a cathartic moment for all of our beloved characters, but in S2 it's just,, present Aziracrow and past Aziracrow,, which is fine, I liked that they showcased the way they were and are with each other but it would've been better if there were less of these moments.

Talking about these, I saw that a lot of people on Tumblr were excited to see Crowley as an angel and it could've been good but. I don't get why Aziraphale HAD to be here, or more like HAD to interact with him and remember/recognize him later, and I'm not really thrilled about the fact that Crowley is implied to be someone important! It just feels like Crowley and Aziraphale aren't equals anymore ; Crowley Always Knows Best he admittedly was someone pretty important in heaven before and he feels more Holier Than Thou than the literal angel he's with?? I get that he Fell so he already knows for sure that Heaven is corrupt but,, I don't know, I feel like Aziraphale lost agency and just Can't Do Anything Right anymore! (And Crowley Can't Do Anything Wrong anymore either??)

I found the flashbacks for ineffable bureaucracy quite adorable but it was all too sudden! It feels the Gabriel mystery just wasn't progressing at all during the season and at the last minute, ta-dahh here's an exposition dumb on what happened, no build-up for the now canon pairing. Not a big fan of amnesia in general but even less when the amnesic character just gets everything back for a dramatic reveal scene, maybe I would have felt like things actually happened in this season if Gabriel was slowly able to access some memories. We could have had the build-up of him and Beelzebub planning on escaping together in the flashbacks! (And I mean, I get that there was the fly and the song but,, It didn't really affect Gabriel/Jim so it doesn't feel,,, enough?)

I was completely indifferent to Maggie and Nina. Also could've worked better as a separate POV from Aziracrow. I just didn't get enough scenes to care for them or feel any chemistry. Nina was already in a relationship, and Maggie was just crushing on her. They didn't really get together at the end but they're involved enough in the idea of them getting together in the future to give Crowley love advice and for Maggie to wait for Nina. I just don't really get it? If the goal was Maggie and Nina getting together, then they needed more time and scenes. If the goal was that they would not get together because Aziraphale and Crowley were trying to force them to be, then why saying that they "only needed a little push," that Maggie is "willing to wait for Nina," why both give love advice to a guy they barely know when they barely know each other too?

Anyways, I really liked the show (and am still eager for a potential S3)! But I feel like Neil Gaiman's writing is missing a similar style to Terry's (though obviously I wouldn't know what his writing is like since I. Haven't read the book nor other books from this/both of these actually authors), and important reoccurring characters besides Aziraphale and Crowley.

Yes, I agree with a lot of your points! And it's very interesting for me to hear that we share a lot of the same opinions although coming from different places -- being an older book fan and being a newer show-only fan. "S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them" is exactly right, and similar to what I complained about not liking them "being the main characters". And I completely agree with that even if we see Angel!Crowley, Aziraphale doesn't have to be there, and also not liking that Crowley was somebody important before. And yeah, I've said it before but the Gabriel mystery and even the Nina/Maggie romance have potential, but ends up falling flat. Thank you for the ask! Apology accepted.

[bloodyshadow1]

my detailed thoughts on the first season of Percy jackson.

Cons:

The pacing, I know everyone says this, but really the pacing of this season was all over the place. having 8 episodes while probably the only option for the writing team really hurt the series overall. Adding an additional episode would helped keep things better I think and would allow a better flow. Not to mention it would help keep things structured in a 3 act system with a beginning, middle, and end that a lot of stories, are told in which would have just fit and flowed better. I would prefer 12 eps, for each act having 4 eps, but that is greedy since they're probably going to be stuck with 8 for the rest of the series too

Lightning, the series was just too dark in a lot of scenes, I didn't have much of a problem because I watched on my smarttv, but I know a lot of people who watched on computers or phones had trouble

The beginning, there should have been more episodes in Camp Half-Blood, at least 1 more. I get that the meat of the story is in the journey, but by not establishing camp half-blood as the first place Percy felt like home it makes it feel emptier. I do like how they including flashbacks of luke training percy in the finale but I would have liked more in camp half blood before the start

There's a less wonder and magic in the series than there was in the books. I don't really know how to describe it, but the books made it feel like there were two worlds hiding within each other and there is magic everywhere. Just small things like Ares turning his lost shield into a bullet proof vest because that's the more modern take.

I'm not with a vocal part of the fandom that bitch and moan over the kids not falling into every trap, I like that Percy is smarter, but instead of just making him smarter, I think they should have just had him ask more questions, like if he was a 12 year old with ADHD who had his eyes open to a world. By making him ask questions, it would help let them explain the world more by having people answer Percy, instead of him knowing everything. Certain things I think could have been done better, like the Kronos reveal and the Luke reveal, it could be done as a reveal instead of Percy figuring it out and I think it would have worked better. like have Percy realize it when talking through the prophecy with Luke because Luke mentions the bolt and the helm, something Percy wouldn't have told him or anyone at camp.

For the most part, I like how they did the gods, with the exception with Zeus and Athena. Zeus is such a larger than life figure, as much as I love Lance Riddick's performance, he played him too epic. The Zeus from the books feels more like a powerful blowhard while the series makes him feel too cool to me. As for Athena, I'll admit I'm bias because she's my favorite god but I don't like her being made the villain in Annabeth's story especially offscreen. I get that they're playing up the gods being shit more than the books and since they made Poseidon more sympathetic, making Athena more antagonistic is a choice to make. I just don't think it fits her cold and logical, but still cares about her kids in her way that she was portrayed in the books.

Grover. I honestly like a lot of the things they added to his character, but I wish they didn't take away from his canon character moments. Not many, but I liked him being a different species than Percy and Annabeth, he isn't human, he's part goat and instead of the books stuff, he's more just a kid with different legs and short horns than another creature. Also by taking away his reed pipes and not showing him being able to do magic, it limits the character.

While people complain about the show... showing not telling, I feel like there was a lack of exposition in the show that wasn't there in the books. It kind of goes with Percy being smarter in the show than the books, but there's a lot of stuff left out of the show that is good world building. small example, no one mentions that monsters don't die for good, which is a very important plot point in heroes of olympus, even if they don't make it, it's a good thing to tell a new demi-gods. Or other plot points, like Annabeth wanting to see her father after all these years, despite how badly things broke before, which just kind of resolves offscreen.

Honestly though, it was only the fandom that ever really bothered me. Too many people focusing on uncharitable changes about the series that had to be made since there is a difference between a first person perspective book series and a tv series that they had to make. That they couldn't fit everything into an 8 ep series that's in a whole book

Pros:

Honestly, one of the best adaptions I've seen despite all the cons.

The acting in the show is awesome, the actors for the kids are young but perfect for the roles they were assigned. they might not look like the books, but I genuinely think it doesn't matter if they're going to be this good. Walker, Leah, and Aryan stand out as the stars of this show and for good reason

I really like the way they portrayed Luke in the tv series, I get the twist in the books, but by bringing up stuff with him earlier I think it makes him more sympathetic. I also think by not including the scorpion to kill Percy, and instead make it clear Luke doesn't want to kill Percy makes him feel more like a kid making a dumb decision instead of someone willing to murder a 12 year old.

I like how they portrayed Sally in the show even if some people disagree. I like that she shows more flaws and character than just being the sweetest saddest woman that she was in the books. As much as Sally loves Percy, him not only being a demi-god, but a neurodivergent kid, it wears on any parent's patience, especially a single mother. Having her get angry and lose her temper, having us as the viewers know what she's been through makes her feel more real and fits better for a tv show.

I like most of the effects, I think it fits in the show and looks better than a lot of blockbuster movies. Lightning aside. I think the monsters looked good and so did the magic even if I think the latter could be better

Honestly, I think the fight scenes were great for a disney show where the main character is supposed to be 12. I know people are annoyed with how short they are, but that's how they were in the books. I think they were adapted fine.

I like that since we're not in Percy's head, we get more of Annabeth and Grover. It feels like a real proper adventuring trio than the books where it felt like it was so Percy focused with Annabeth being the secondary main and grover being a main, but kind of sidekick character. Letting Grover and Annabeth be characters, to have scenes without Percy and changing things from the books, like having Annabeth seeing the fates cut the thread, makes more sense when you're not doing a first person books

Overall I think they changed things in a very fair and pragmatic sense. There were a lot, but there were less egergious than the movie that changed the whole plot.

[spontaneousglitterbees]

[DRV3 Postgame AU Masterpost]

Sorry it's taking me a bit to answer asks, I read every one and cherish them -! I'd figured I'd doodle a bit in the answers, but then ah. This one changed course from 'whats up with shuichi' to 'actually we're overdue for exposition'.

Oh, backstory?

Since Class 79 is at Hope's Peak For Real in this AU, Danganronpa can't very well be like canon. Our solution: infighting, sabotage, and plenty of Drama! Discussion under the cut.

I'd call it a non-Despair AU; the world's not over, and I'm currently thinking V3 is the only killing game at this point in the timeline, catalyzed by good old-fashioned envy (and, truthfully, indignation that strangers get to live out your fantasy while you and your friends are stuck in the building next door... the nerve!) Our mastermind isn't exactly a master hacker, but she's also not working alone. This Team Danganronpa isn't trying to physically harm anyone, but showing off their collective capacity to coordinate and maintain a takeover like this is bound to catch the administrator's eye. All press is good press, and there's a lot (of investor funding, mostly) riding on stories of TAPP's success, so HPA is incentivized to intervene ASAP. The team did not account for the aftershocks of making their peers virtually kill each other. Rantaro is having memory issues, Miu has to catch her breath (to her chagrin), Kiibo doesn't have a body, Kokichi has his cane... and that's just the beginning.

Whoops.

TAPP is kind of like "what if instead of synthetically pouring all of the talents into just the one dude, we experimented on some charity cases to see if we can just artificially build an Ultimate from the ground-up". The tech in the flashback-lights is definitely at play here, though HPA proper wasn't planning on a full memory wipe/personality override (but kept the theoretical capability in their back pocket in case things went south as Advanced Gaslighting) but uh. A bunch of highschoolers took hold of the controls, which is how you get a bunch of kids that sound like characters. They still are.

In this case, Team DR is like at least 3 at most 10 disgruntled teens in the Reserve Course tired of being overlooked. More looking for mischief than harm, but hey, if they can convince the interlopers being Ultimates isn't worth it and they should leave the school after all this and free up the floorspace? They won't argue. One of the things that strikes me about DR as a series is how its internal logic is less concerned with logistics than matching the emotional weight of what it can be like to be growing up and going through high school, so I'm trying to lean in that direction. I'm not completely sure what all this means for the THH and SDR2 crews, precisely, but we'll cross/burn that bridge when we get to it I guess!

This comic taught me a lot of new tools and techniques, hence it feels to me like it took forever but I am super stubborn and couldn't work on something else until the script in my head was actualized, which turned into 'the whole thing being done'.

There's a lot of easter eggs and little jokes in the first page in particular, should you seek them! Consider this another 'cut' in case you want to try and read the Small Handwriting on Rantaro and Miu's desks for yourself.

First:

I already brought up some of them in the WIP so I'll try not to repeat too much and just link here

Kokichi could join the toast, but doesn't (and yet he still sits with everyone). Kiibo doesn't drink anything at all but does want to be in the toast, so he gets a bluetooth speaker. Surely he will blast some vocaloid shortly.

That's Kaito's notebook Kichi is doodling in; Kaito draws a bunch of stars, and I tried to sort-of-almost emulate the drawing on Kichis whiteboard and also get across that it lacks line confidence (sketch over and over the same lines) and he keeps creasing the paper because post-press it doesn't take much activity for his hands to hurt. Also kinda wanted to imply that Kaito not only knows Ouma has his notebook, but probably gave it to him because he's learned it's inevitable Kichi will tease him and draw in it and at least being upfront about it he won't manage to hurt himself trying to steal it (phantom thief or not!) Kokichi's pride is a little hurt at first, but it becomes another of their small routines they don't acknowledge out loud that nevertheless are a kind of familiar comfort for both of them.

Space debris at terminal velocity is no joke man even a paint chip won't just crack your helmet (which you'd only survive via cartoon logic and presumably-magic duct tape) but easily crack your skull at least. I did a project on it in high school once, I should really look for it tbh

Rantaro’s To Do

Set up weekly meeting

Check what is up w/ Kiyo

Make sure Kichi goes to therapy this week

Call Rillianne

Rantaro’s Reminders

Blue: Class

Red: Study

Cyan: ‘Council (or w/e)’

Green: ‘Travel Nerd Time >:P’

Purple: ‘Hang out w/ me ~!’

Orange: Group Project

Yellow: ‘Call ur family this week, srsly’

Miu’s Notes (“Polygraph Improvements”)

Before install into K1-B0’s new body, improve algorithm for fig. (figurative) speech.

Consult Ishimaru?

- Gonta can get in contact

ALSO

I really did make some actual charts based on data from the character bios comparing things like height, birthdate, etc. vs. victim, killer, or survivor status (tho that is a gantt chart template and not filled in, oop). TL;DR the most interesting one to me is this:

Where basically when you account for how many students across the games are stated to have each blood type and the proportion of those students in a certain role, things are pretty even (AB has so few students its bars arent really representative of a trend, I just included them anyway) the type Os are disproportionately likely to be killers. For the record, there's one confirmed type O victim, and it's Nagito. I have no idea what this means. But if I am blursed with this knowledge, now you are too!

The code in tsumugis glasses isnt an easter egg bc i was getting tired and frustrated but the pods are roughly (no kiibo shifts things a bit) in class trial configuration, and on the base layer before all the Rest Of The Panel got added you could kind of tell who's who. Not so much anymore, so: Saihara has his hat on, for the record, and Kokichi is on his side while everyone else is on their back. Might even be a little restless, the feeling of underlying unreality playing substitute for some of (only some of, they're still being monitored) the surveillance anxiety. Fun!

And hey, as always, and especially if you've gotten this far: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[itchyeye]

@apocalypticsinn replied to your post “ok. i'm giving the first episode a shot.”:

Oh noooOOOO welcome to hell :,) Alice remains like this the entire series btw and it just. It doesn’t get better. The newest episode I wanted to strangle her- I’m VERY interested in hearing your full thoughts on even just this first episode-!

​whgau first thing's first i am touched to hear you're interested in my thoughts

ok so overall it was very bad. @socvinc is correct that the sound mixing is fantastic, especially contrasted against s1 of tma which was shoestring budget dogshit. but then again this new show was funded by a seemingly boundless supply of patreon dollars so it fucking better sound expensive!!

alice is absolutely insufferable. you could stick a classroom full of twelve year old bronies (and i mean the og 2010s bronies not the gen z post ironic queer reclamation kind) in front of a hundred typewriters for all of time and they would eventually produce every single thing that has ever come out of alice's mouth. sure, it seems like gwen and most other people are annoyed with her, so at least she isn't being treated as funny and charming in-universe!! but absolutely fucking impossible to listen to. will not be putting myself through more of that.

also, the general animosity and malaise is unearned. sure, we have all been at jobs where everyone is burnt out and nobody cares anymore. but there's a sort of creeping realization that comes with that. even if things are bad right off the bat, they still get worse as you familiarize yourself with your new surroundings.

to have your exposition be alice telling sam that nothing matters and there is no point to his job and everything is stupid and he shouldn't even be here just makes me hate her. it doesn't matter that she's doing it to give gwen a moment to shine and prove her diligence and dedication. it immediately makes alice a deeply unlikeable character. she is relentlessly negative and cynical and lazy and we have been given ZERO justification for why she would be so abbrasive to someone just starting a new career!! plus she's fucking annoying so the cards are REALLY stacked against her.

and the relentless gloomy bleakness of the Archives was so. so. so. earned. all of s1 had this slow slow sloooooow build up of tension and horror and false leads and red herrings and SUDDENLY WORMS. SASHA'S DEAD. TIDAL WAVE OF WORLD-ENDING WORMS. THREE DREAD POWERS AT ONCE. AND EVERYONE HAS PTSD AFTERWARDS AND STILL HAS TO COME IN TO WORK. JON'S GONE OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END. THEN S2. NO ONE CAN LEAVE. WE'RE ALL TRAPPED HERE LIKE RATS IN A SINKING SHIP.

the gloom and malaise and desperation is real and tangible and you are there with the characters as it builds. it's rewarding and dynamic. opening episode 1 with "everyone hates it here bc it's very spooky and bureucratic" is just a pale and unsuccessful immitation of the slowburn that MADE the archives what they were.

also the very first little mini statement was so lame??? no build up. no atmosphere. no character development. not even a short story, just a tumblr uquiz option. "i saw my husband but he was Shaped Wrong and also dead" jesus christ...

i might listen to episode 2 just because i have time to kill but being dropped into the middle of an office party gave me traumatic tma s5e1 flashbacks and i can't live through that again. one of my tmp anons who mentioned it was very office-banter based was SOOOO right. the majority of the episode felt like those incorrect-quotes accounts that clog up tumblr search results. just people i don't know and voices i don't recognize having weird try-hard conversations.

oh that's another glaring difference: the dialogue and voice acting in tma feels incredibly natural. the way conversations are written and the way they are performed feels believable, like listening to recordings of people who do not know they're being recorded. the conversations in tmp feel like watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s in that every line feels really rigidly scripted. no one talks over one another. no sounds overlap. there are no natural sounding pauses or stutters. just bad sitcom dialogue. BUT as i said to anon.... that's what the people want.

overall feels like an ogfic "inspired by" tma that i would have no interest in reading. a pale immitation of lightning in a bottle.

can't say i blame them. we all have bills to pay. but i can say i resent them.

[maspers]

Okay so I have an idea for a Halloween movie

Not a horror movie. A Halloween movie. Spooky tropes up the wazoo. Action-packed comedy, with a taste of camp. Banger soundtrack. I don't have all the details down, but the basic gist is a pair of monster hunters ala Supernatural engage in shenanigans. Other deets include:

-The Monster Hunters duo is a blonde woman named Jack and a guy of ambiguous race (Asian-Hispanic mix?) named Cygnus, both in their mid to late twenties. They speak with British accents, but are repeatedly identified as Americans. They take turns wearing the same pair of glasses. If the audience looks closely in a couple shots they will realize Jack and Cygnus are wearing matching wedding rings, but this is the only indication whatsoever that they are married, and the fact that both of them rampantly flirt with everyone else doesn't clarify anything. 

-Jack's name is not a nickname, and is established as being her actual name. Cygnus's name is actually short for something, but we never find out what. 

-Jack speaks directly to the fourth wall often, Ferris Bueller style. Often to supply witty commentary and exposition. Nobody else does this. Cygnus is the only other character to acknowledge the fourth wall's existence, but he never addresses it directly. Once or twice when Jack is explaining things Cygnus will say something like "don't forget to tell them X" or "you forgot x" implying addressing the fourth wall is exclusively Jack's thing. 

-Enough lampshading to make CinemaSins swoon. 

-The film starts with a very stereotypical castle owned by a (male) mad scientist. Cygnus is being held captive. He jokingly flirts with the scientist. But also very quickly mentions Jack, thus ensuring that the movie fails to pass the Reverse Bechdel Test. 

-Jack, meanwhile, is providing exposition to the audience and skillfully breaking into the place, beating up bad guys and loading an Igor ripoff into a catapult. "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton plays as the opening credits appear while Jack sneaks further into the building. 

-After Cygnus is rescued, both our heroes escape in a convertible. The castle is on fire. Jack assures the audience not to worry, as no American castles are real castles anyway. 

-The Villain is a very impressive politician, ideally played by Blake Lively. Her goal is to convince the monster populace to support her and help her win the upcoming election, supposedly so that she can make things easier for monsterkind. In reality she plans to tear apart the masquerade and expose monsters and trick the regular humans into destroying them. Rude. Jack and Cygnus aren't really aware of this plan at first but they do know someone is planning something with the less reputable parts of the supernatural world and so they want to put a stop to it. 

-Jack and Cygnus need to infiltrate a fancy party. The goal is to seduce a vampire hostess and steal something she is carrying on her person. Cygnus volunteers but Jack shuts him down because the last time he tried to seduce something (a succubus) he panicked and stabbed himself with a fork (flashback scene included, apparently happened in Topeka). So Jack goes to the party instead. 

-Band at party is playing an epic waltz version of the Monster Mash. Cue highly attractive dance between Jack and the Sexy Vampire Hostess. 

-Meanwhile Cygnus goes disguised as a member of the kitchen staff. Unfortunately all the Kitchen staff are secretly robots. They attack. Cue epic fight scene with comedic/awesome usage of kitchenware. "Coconut Mall" from Mario Kart is playing. 

-Cut back to Jack. She and the Sexy Vampire Hostess have moved to a side room. 

*Jack and vamp kiss*

"Oh my… Garlic-dusted lip gloss? Spicy. I like it."

"Oh, if you like that, then I have something even spicier."

"Do tell" 

*Jack stakes Vampire through heart*"SIKE" 

-Jack escapes down fire escape. Opens window to kitchen. Last lap version of Coconut Mall can be heard as Cygnus jumps out, his hair covered in Cheese. 

-I'm still shaky on the plot but they decide to go to Denny's to unwind and figure out where to go next. The postmodern jukebox version of Stacy's Mom plays as they pull up. 

-Meanwhile the villainess is scheming and is like "frick the monster hunters killed my vampire I need to bring in the big guns" 

-Also there's a police officer played by either Levar Burton or Samuel L. Jackson, who shows up right after Jack and Cygnus leave a place. Smooth jazz plays, and the lighting darkens. He seems to be familiar with our heroes, but whether he wants to help them or arrest them is unclear. Other cops are present, but are CGId to look like identical clones of ambiguous race and gender. The detective never talks to them directly, because that would require giving them personalities and we've got too many characters already. 

-So Jack and Cygnus arrive at Denny's, get in a brief debate about drinks (they order a lot of different kinds) when a motorcyclist dude shows up. Motorcyclist dude is a werewolf in the villainess's employ. He warns them to either stop hunting their lead or die. Jack and Cygnus are very sad about this, because the werewolf is not wearing a shirt under his jacket and has very attractive abs that they do not want to kill. They decide to fight anyway. Immediately everyone else in the Denny's turns around to reveal they are actually rodeo clowns. Classic wild west shootout ensues. Jukebox in the corner goes off and plays "Saturday Night". 

-Our heroes successfully take down most of the rodeo clowns but then the werewolf proceeds to wolf out (much to the joy of our heroes, as he reveals more muscles. Jack is visibly shown getting a nosebleed, and Cygnus swoons) and chase them out of the Denny's. Inexplicably, the Denny's looks different than it did when they first drove up. This is never commented on. 

-Car chase starring Cygnus and Jack in their convertible and werewolf on Motorcycle Ensues. They are forced to trick him into swerving off a cliff. Danny Boy plays dramatically as he falls. Our heroes Mourn the death of the abs. 

-Villainess has either a kindly father who looks like a college professor or an innocent husband who dresses like Makoto Naegi (if the latter, is played by Ryan Reynolds of course). They ask if villainess is going too far. Villainess responds by singing "Girls just want to have lunch" and ominously approaching father/husband. Screen blacks out before sounds of eating are heard. They are later seen with a large head bandage and muttering the chorus to the aforementioned song. 

-Detective enters and investigates the Denny's (which again looks different) and dispatches the remaining rodeo clown with a taser. 

-Heroes pull up to Villainess's fancy mansion. Various attempts at entering are foiled. Jack points out they need to enter in order to progress the plot, so they take the car and crash it directly into the front door. They then make their way through the rooms, casually dealing with a variety of supernatural threats. Reptiles and Samurai by oingo boingo plays. 

-Villainess is getting really mad that she hasn't even really been able to enact her plan yet at ALL (elections are still like a month away) and she wants the heroes gone. None of her traps have worked (even the pit trap, which Jack and Cygnus swung over Indiana Jones style, complete with the iconic music) so she goes to meet them herself in the main hall. 

-Jack and Cygnus enter main hall, with Jack playing Yankee Doodle on a piccolo and Cygnus accompanying on the drum. Villainess rebukes them for not taking her seriously. Jack tells her to put her money where her mouth is and challenges Villainess to a sword Duel. They proceed to have an epic, fully choreographed Princess-Bride-level swordfight (which just as much homoerotic tension) while an original Halloween song plays. The song heavily features an organ and electric guitar, which are being played in universe by the Villainess's father/husband and Cygnus respectively. 

- "Are neither of you going to take this seriously?"

"Of course not, have you even been paying attention to the film? This ain't Supernatural."

"Though to be fair, people like Supernatural." 

-Abruptly Villainess (just as she's disarmed) is like "enough I can't take it anymore" pulls out a gun and shoots at Cygnus, grazing him in the arm. Record scratch. Dead silence. Villainess rants about how Jack and Cygnus are being completely nonsensical and complains about a whole bunch of other inconsistencies in the story. Jack and Cygnus respond by poking holes in her own apparent evil scheme, Villainess loudly proclaims it would have actually worked. Jack and Cygnus open doors to reveal the Detective, who strides in to arrest Villainess. 

-Detective does have a legitimate warrant and I want there to be some kind of joke that it was easy for him to get one because of some other crazy sus things the Villainess was doing but I need to do more research on how Warrants work. He asks if our heroes would like to provide any commentary, but they both shout "we plead the fifth" and jump out a window. Detective chuckles and comments "Just like in Topeka".

-Jack and Cygnus ride a zip line down a hill to a nearby graveyard. They sit on a fence together, make a couple of bad puns, and Cygnus tries to soliloquize about the apparent lack of Skeletons in the entire film but is quickly cut off by Jack thanking the audience for watching. Credits roll as "Bittersweet" by Panic! At the Disco plays. 

Think it would be called "Pumpernickel" 

[sukehiroselei]

BLACK CLOVER SPOILERS

Been a while since I've fully written out my thoughts on the recent BC chapters. (I think May was the last time I did?) Anywho, these are my opinions—and I stress, MY OPINIONS!—on the recent chapters. I have to admit that my feelings about them are mixed, and I'll get into why. (Probably gonna get cancelled over this but yolo I guess loool)

First, I'd like to address the difference between Tumblr & Twitter discourse regarding Black Clover. From my personal experience, I find that Twitter discourse is more focused on the fights & power-ranking system—which, of course, is absolutely essential to the genre. Power-ups are a tangible way of measuring character growth, after all.

On the other hand, Tumblr discourse is more focused on the relationships between the characters & the overarching narrative of the work. Now, I'm not saying that one is better than the other, because all of these elements are important. I had to talk about the distinction because my criticisms of the recent chapters might be better explained with this context in mind.

As someone who enjoys BC specifically because of the relationships between the characters and the world-building, I've found that the story post-Elf arc has been really... flat. I know Twitter folks will say that BC's pacing has always been quick, but I've been missing some moments where the characters just have room to breathe, you know? Like when Spade Raid ended, we had half a chapter of fun before immediately jumping into the next arc, and I feel like it would have been nice to get a little more exposition on how Spade changed character dynamics. Like, they could have given us a little Greyche moment so their current state in the manga would hit that much harder. Or more bonding time between Nacht and the Bulls, so we appreciate their determination to find Asta together a little more? Does this make any sense? Lmao

Adding to that, I think the quick pacing is detrimental to BC's strengths. A lot of people like the story because there are so many characters with very interesting backstories and motivations, but the nature of the storytelling doesn't leave a lot of room to explore the depths of these characters. Tbh, the Black Bulls' stories are just as important to tell as Asta's journey to becoming WK. Side characters enrich the world, so I'm not a huge fan of glossing over what could have been really impactful moments for characters other than Asta/Yuno/Yami to shine.

For example, someone brought up a great point that the BB fight against Damnatio was symbolic of the uprooting of Clover's caste system. You have this group of outcasts, some who were personally victimized by the corruption of the kingdom as represented by Damnatio, fighting to save the people who shunned them. It would have been nice to get flashbacks of the way that the kingdom has affronted them: Zora grappling with his dad's death and what it meant to be a Magic Knight, Gauche's history of being a convict and being separated from his only family, etc.

I'm glad that we at least had that moment with Nero, and we got to see how Asta specifically changed the trajectory of her life; how she sees Lumiere's vision of the world in Asta's ideal vision when he becomes WK. But I wish they had done the same for the other Bulls or even non-Bulls too, especially since Lucius mentioned that this whole timeline was affected by Asta. That's why I'm sort of disappointed that Asta came back right away to end things. I feel like it would have been more significant if Damnatio had been heavily injured and Asta were to deal the last blow than an unharmed Damnatio and Asta landing a fatal blow only once.

I'm still holding out hope that we'll get more of the Bulls in this arc, though there are currently a lot of loose ends and Asta's already back in the picture. I hope we get followups on Noelle/Acier, YamiChar/Morgen, and Mereo/Morris before Asta ends the battle, but idk what I'm talking about as usual 🤷🏻‍♀️

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 2: Super Hero (1/5)

Finally, finally, it's time to talk about Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero. I've been waiting a long time to do this. First I had to wait for the movie to come out, then I had to wait a while for the rest of the fandom to go see it so I wouldn't spoil anything, then I had to wait for the DVD release so I could take screenshots, and by the time I was ready to do that, I was waist-deep in the 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypha Liveblog. So the DVD has been sitting on my table for months waiting for me to get to this point, and now I'm finally here.

It's probably just as well, since blogging about the other stuff has helped me figure out how to tackle this movie. Like a rhinocerous sandwich, this thing is pretty big and dense, and I'm not really sure where to begin, and now Tumblr only lets me put 30 images in each post, so I have to think ahead a little. So I'm going to split this up into five installments and hopefully that will give me the room I need.

Super Hero opens with a flashback/recap focusing on the Red Ribbon Army. Real quick: the Red Ribbon Army was a mercenary group that dominated much of the world, until their hunt for the Dragon Balls put them into conflict with Son Goku, who destroyed their headquarters in Age 750. Seventeen years later, the Red Ribbon scientist Dr. Gero launched a campaign of revenge, using several cyborgs and androids of his own design. Gero failed, but his final experiment, Cell, managed to travel back in time from the future, where he nearly destroyed the whole world before Goku's son Gohan defeated him.

If you're a Dragon Ball fan, you probably already knew all of that, but what this movie reveals is that the Red Ribbon Army still lives on through its parent organization, the Red Pharmaceutical Company. When Commander Red died, his son Magenta inherited control over RPC, and he's been building up funds ever since, hoping to restore the Red Ribbon Army to its former glory. From behind the scenes, it was RPC that financed Dr. Gero's cybernetics research, but with Gero's death, there was really nothing more Magenta could do.

And that's what I really love about this shot of Magenta looking at a scale model of the old RR HQ. His father ran the Army from the real thing, but Magenta can't build a new one because Goku would just wreck it like he did before, and he can't beat Goku because Dr. Gero was the only one smart enough to build android warriors to kill that guy, and Gero's dead now. Magenta ought to be satisfied running the RPC, but what he really wants to do is rule the world, and he can't. Without Gero, the closest he can come to that dream is hanging around in this private little war museum he seems to have, and he probably can't even show it to anyone since it would expose the RPC's secret.

But then Magenta learned of Dr. Gero's grandson, Hedo. The movie opens with Magenta's right-hand-man, Carmine, giving a briefing on Hedo, so I assume Carmine was the one who discovered him. Better throw up the Carmine screenshot...

Man, these look great. Unfortunately only the bad guys seem to get them. Would have been neat if they made one for Goku or whatever. Yeah, everyone knows who Goku is, but who cares? I want to see an obnoxious still with his name in big letters.

This movie is chocked full with little gags and Easter eggs and such, so there's a lot to cover. Part of the reason for this is that the first twenty minutes of the movie is really heavy on exposition. The plot isn't all that complicated. The bad guys want to make some evil robots to kill the good guys, but to get there we have to explain who the bad guys are and how they joined forces, which takes a while. So there's a lot of visual things happening while they talk. For example, in this scene where Carmine has an overproduced powerpoint presentation playing while he explains who Dr. Hedo is. While he talks, Magenta has some sort of difficulty with hot beverages.

And while Carmine's video plays, we see Dr. Gero's family tree, including his wife, Vomi, and his son, Gevo. This is the first direct appearance of either character, although we've known about Gevo for some time. Several years ago, Akira Toriyama did an interview where he explained that Dr. Gero had a son in the Red Ribbon Army, and that son was killed during the battle with Goku, and so Gero modeled Android 16 after him. In the video game Dragon Ball Fighterz, we meet Android 21, who looks a lot like the image of Vomi in Carmine's video. I forget how and when these details were established, but the idea seems to be that Gero modeled #21 after his wife.

So does this mean Hedo is the son of Gevo? No, Gero had a second son, and that was Hedo's father. Hedo's parents died during his childhood, and he then went on to become a great scholar, earning his doctorate by age 14.

Today, Dr. Hedo is 24, and he's in prison, because he's a little too smart for his own good. Recently, he dug up some corpses and turned them into primitive androids, then he got them jobs at a convenience store to earn money for Hedo's research. I'm not exactly sure which laws were broken here, but it was enough to put him in jail. In the dub, Magenta observes that Hedo would have made more money with less fuss if he had simply robbed the store.

But Magenta doesn't care if Hedo is a little goofy. His talent for cybernetics is even greater than Dr. Gero's, which is pretty scary considering how close Gero came to destroying the Earth. Magenta needs those talents if he's ever going to bring back the Red Ribbon Army, so he waits three months for Hedo to get released from prison, then swings by to offer him a lift. To Magent's surprise, Hedo already knows who he is and has a pretty good guess as to what he wants.

This is because Hedo's been tracking Carmine with a surveillance device. It looks similar to the ones Dr. Gero used to study the Z-Fighters and collect genetic samples for Cell's creation. The difference is that Hedo claims it's a cyborg he built from a live bee. Maybe I shouldn't take this too literally, but it sure sounds like Hedo vivisected a bee in his prison cell and installed cameras and robot parts into its body. And for all I know, Gero did the same thing to make all of his spy robots, but I always assumed they were purely mechanical. Anyway, Carmine's been monitoring Hedo for a while now, driving by the prison yard whenever Hedo's out there, and Carmine's limo has a dome in the roof for his pompadour, so it was conspicuous enough for Hedo to notice. He built the bee, then had it trail Carmine until he found out who he was working for.

And the bee also gives us a great shot from behind Magenta's desk, where he has two framed photos. One is his dad, Commander Red, while the other is Colonel Violet. So we pretty much have to assume Violet is his mom, right? Kind of wild that Red and Violet were a thing, considering that one of the last times we saw Violet was when she looted the Red Ribbon vault during Goku's attack on their HQ. And she even did it in full view of the security cameras, probably knowing that Red would be watching.

So I wonder what Magenta and Violet's relationship must have been like? Is she still alive? Does Magenta know about her betrayal? How could he not? And considering how devoted he is to his father's dreams, how could he let her treason slide? Or maybe he recognizes that Red was a bad leader, and he means to succeed where Red failed. It's interesting stuff, that's all I'm trying to say.

Anyway, Hedo isn't too impressed with Magenta, but he has snacks, so Hedo gets in the car. Magenta asks if he got picked on during his prison sentence, and Hedo says everyone who gave him a trouble would always meet with "mysterious deaths". That column of black smoke behind them is the prison, by the way. The other inmates (and probably some guards) were chewing out Hedo as he left, so Hedo tossed a bomb inside as a final parting shot.

Magenta tries to sweet-talk Hedo by explaining their family connections. Gero once worked for Red, then Magenta inherited the RPC and continued to fund Gero's research. But Hedo isn't moved, since he never met his grandfather, and Hedo's parents hated Gero for his association with the Red Ribbon.

More importantly (to Hedo), he finds the Red Ribbon Army unappealing, because they resemble villains, while Hedo is a connoisseur of superheroes. That's why he's wearing the purple bodysuit, by the way. From what I can tell, Hedo's a fan of a TV show or something that features a character in a similar outfit.

So if Hedo's all into heroes, why did he... you know... desecrate those graves? I'm pretty sure that contradiction is the point of the character. He likes certain genres of entertainment, and he likes and identifies with heroic characters and their exploits, but he seems pretty much devoid of morals himself. He's like a Star Wars fan who loves the Jedi but has no qualms about harassing people who liked Episode VIII. He's one of those... oh, what's the word?

Asshole. Yeah, Hedo's an asshole.

So now Magenta has to convince Hedo that he's not an asshole, which is pretty stupid since they're clearly both assholes. Hedo just wants Magenta to pretend his asshole-ery is the same flavor as his own. So Magneta weaves this whole tale of how he wants to use his power and wealth to improve the world and stamp out evil. While he says all of this, Carmine cuts off the car ahead of him for driving too slow. But it's not just any civilian he did this to...

It's Janet! We'll meet Janet later on, but she gets a cameo here at the start of the movie, which is awesome to spot when you rewatch it. Fuck you, Carmine, for passing on the right and scaring Janet. Carmine doesn't had a big impact on the movie's plot, but he does generate nuclear heel heat simply because the things he does are very obnoxious. One thing I have to respect is that he's the one bad guy who doesn't try to rationalize or disguise his villainy. Carmine's a prick and he doesn't care who knows it.

For example, even after Magenta explains how he's a "champion of justice", and raises his offer to one billion zeni per android, Hedo still isn't convinced, so Carmine brandishes a gun just to make it clear that they won't take 'no' for an answer. Magenta may haggle, but Carmine is too direct for that.

So Hedo accepts Magenta's offer, but not because of the gun, since he enhanced his body to make it bulletproof some time ago. Also, his cyber-bee is armed with a toxic venom so deadly that it can kill any biological life with a single sting. So Carmine's threats are useless. Hedo is only taking the job because he's fascinated by the challenge of creating the ultimate android with an unlimited budget.

So he asks for background on Magneta's enemy, and Magenta explains that it wasn't Mr. Satan who defeated Cell at the Cell Games. He's part of the "organization", but the real ringleader is Bulma of the Capsule Corporation. Magenta says that her confederates appear to be aliens, which explains how Capsule Corp. got the technology for miniaturization and spaceflight. I'm not sure how much of this Magenta actually believes, and how much is a spin he's putting on things to make Dragon Team look like a gang of villains.

Magenta says that Capsule Corp is collaborating with aliens to pacify the Earth, then subjugate it for colonization. Hedo finds this hard to believe, until Magenta shows him footage of Future Trunks killing Mecha-Frieza. I'm not sure how he could have gotten that footage, unless it was recorded by Gero's spy robots.

In this twisted scenario, Gero created Cell to take the fight to Bulma's "organization", but he just couldn't get the job done. 17 and 18 turned against Gero, and Dragon Team was just too powerful that day. Hedo asks if Bulma is an alien, and Magenta's like "sure, why not?"

Then Hedo eats his Oreo all weird. Like, who does this? He takes apart the cookie, which is pretty standard, then he uses the one side to scrape the cream off the other, and he eats this part. Why? You already had a cookie with cream filling on it! This is just a duplication of effort!

The absolute best way to eat an Oreo is to dunk it in milk until it gets so soggy that it almost falls apart. When I was a kid I designed a device that would allow you to immerse the entire cookie in milk for maximum sogification without having to get your fingers wet. In hindsight, this was a stupid idea, because you can just do that with a spoon.

All this talk of alien conspiracies and Cell's heroic last stand get Hedo fired up, and he pulls up the hood of his costume and declares that the world needs a hero to design the ultimate android. I mean, he just got done saying he didn't buy into Magenta's good guy bit, but he does buy into his own good guy bit, and Magenta's story seems to suit this. For Hedo, it's less about being a hero and more about playing a hero. Magenta has created the role, and Hedo is eager to fill it.

And they finally arrive at a Red Ribbon base out in the middle of nowhere. Then the movie flashes forward to six months later, so I guess this a good place to sign off. Next time, we'll get into Piccolo and Gohan, and see what they're up to.

[only-by-the-stars]

so. I have. some thoughts about TotK.

they're not happy ones.

(behind a cut for spoilers and negativity)

to be clear, the gameplay is mostly fun. that's what's kept me going this far. but... I'm not sure anymore if it can keep carrying me. because this is, honest to god, one of the biggest stinkers of a story I've ever seen in a video game. and I DO NOT say that lightly!!! I have seen some SHIT, okay??? time travel and alternate dimension shenanigans that left me unsure of what the fuck the situation was after the ending, a reveal that the universe was one big MMO... those have stuck in my mind for well over a decade for being just that fucking bad.

and this story isn't just as stupid, no. it's as stupid as those, AND it's INCREDIBLY poorly told. like I cannot stress that enough!!! as of this writing, I have found every single glyph on the world map + the bonus tear that you get for seeing all those + the little bonus scene from getting the Master Sword. they're all numbered in more or less chronological order in the menu, 1-18.

so.

why in god's name am I still missing 11, 14, and 16????????

LIKE

AM I JUST GONNA GET THEM AFTER DOING PLOT-MANDATED EVENTS?

this is deeply fucking terrible!!! at least in those other bad stories I got to watch all the nonsense unfold in linear order, AND! AND AND AND!!! I WAS INVOLVED IN IT, IT WASN'T SOMEONE ELSE'S MEMORIES

and also the writing for Zelda herself is just atrocious and embarrassing, like I'm genuinely cringing here. in the flashbacks she does little aside from stand around and talk, her love for history/science only comes up in the intro, and functions as long-winded exposition, and she unfortunately was handed the Idiot Ball on top of it (not figuring out that Ganondorf was the the Basement Mummy till after he transformed? girl... Urbosa even SAID that CALAMITY GANON was said to have been born as a Gerudo man... why are Nintendo's writers determined to make her look stupid like this???). and in the present time, she's apparently good at everything and everyone loves her (even the unhinged flower lady), and she gets a super special gold horse, and it's just... she's barely a character. she's more like the overpowered OC everyone loves that kids just starting to write come up with.

which is fine at that stage! necessary, even! we all start somewhere, and I am NOT shaming anyone for doing that when they're just starting out. goodness knows I produced my share of embarrassing crap as a baby writer.

but this is a main installment of a major franchise by one of the biggest video game companies, made by paid adult professionals. that is. embarrassing.

and... as far as I've seen/heard from others who have seen more cutscenes than I have (again, this is bullshit, why are these apparently key scenes being withheld from me?), there's never an explanation for the Calamity/Calamity Ganon and he doesn't seem to be the same entity as Ganondorf. Zelda also never once considers trying to prevent the Calamity, either, and save all those lives, because Reasons, I guess. and the time travel magically doesn't affect anything but the current crisis???? calling BS on this too. plus, it doesn't help that there's so little flow/build-up/connective tissue between the cutscenes. next to nothing, in fact. it feels like I watched the isolated anime cutscenes of an older RPG whose story was told mainly through scenes in the game engine, and tried to understand the plot from there.

except that for this game, that's all I get.

also they managed to make the Silent Princess metaphor even more ham-fisted than in BOTW, which is quite the achievement. good lord. the way my eyes rolled seeing that, the incredulous laughter I burst into... sheesh.

at this point I just. don't know if I should try and power through and rush to the ending, take a break, or just drop it entirely. either way, it would never get a replay the way BOTW did. it's just. bleh.

and don't even get me started on how they fucked up the Poes and Gibdos, way to even disappoint my desire for the return of favorite creepy enemies, I didn't even get my ReDeads. I DIDN'T EVEN GET MY REDEADS

in closing, everyone who complained about the story/time travel in AOC owes me the cost of TotK. that game may have been silly, but at least it respected the Champions and I got to see more characters interacting and everything playing out as it happened and I didn't feel so distant/isolated from it all. ugh. I need to replay THAT game!

[folklorist-word-florist]

An Overlook on Pacing

SO, pacing! The element that can break or make your story! :D

As we are talking about writing here, we are talking about the speed of your story: the speed of the events unfolding, AND the speed of how the events are told to the reader. E.g. You can have a story that happens in a thousand years, told in the same number of pages of a story that takes place in ten minutes. The first speed is about pacing the plot, do you rely on exposition to world-build? On dialogue? On descriptions of setting or action? The latter is about the pacing of your prose, how you construct your sentences, where you place—and how frequently—action and dialogue, exposition and inflection.

Plot and structure

First we have to acknowledge pacing is interlinked with genre. Different genres have different conventions due to audience expectations. Pacing both depends and determines the genre. And as one writer might write a space opera today, and a contemporary character study tomorrow, so their pacing would change.

My opinion is that there's no good pacing, only the right pacing--for your story. Want to drag a kiss into two pages long? Do it, but with intention, which comes with due diligence on studying different types of story structure. The most useful writing advice I got on this is Ursula K. Le Guin's two-word wisdom:

Crowd, Leap; which event serves best in lengthy detail, which can and should be a sweeping impression. This requires some planning ahead of time, so all-panster might feel a bit 😬 here. I will put a post together on panster-planster-planner later. For now, I say for panster, write all the scenes the way they are coming to you right now, as much and as quickly as you can. You can sort the event pacing in editing.

A recommendation you might have heard ad nauseam: Blake Snyder's Save the Cat beat sheet. Like any plot structure studies, take a look, apply it to the story you love, see how they worked or not worked, and take notes on how that might serve your own writing. 

Save the Cat Beat Sheet Template  •  Infographic

Stories exist with a paradoxical preposition: what we read is past tense by the nature of writing and reading, yet many, especially genre fiction writers, strive to provide the sense that the unfolding of events occurs in front of the reader's eyes; there, the sense of wonder, suspense, or urgency. Even with in flashback of The Bad Thing Hundred Winters Ago, the story moves forward because we get a clue of why something is happening/going to happen now or why/how the characters are the way they are, etc..

(Note I did not say "plot," only "story." Because Story is more than just what happened, but how what happened and where what happened and why what happened.)

Everything you put on the page should be thoughtfully curated. Every scene and each word has your own reason for why it's exactly where it is—a process that takes time and practice and critique, but trust that it'll come:)

This leads to the other part of pacing: controlling the flow, thus (attempting to) control how your readers think and feel about the story.

Save the Cat! website has many beat sheet analysis of popular movies that can be helpful in understanding how to apply the principles.

Musicality

Stories work in forward motion, pulling readers along with them. Sometimes the motion is fast, action-packed and no breathing room, like what the story character is experiencing; sometimes the motion is slow, maybe to mimic a sense of conversational tone, writer to reader, or to create the agony of suspense.

The gradations of these motions are no accidents: again, intention. Be aware of how your placement of descriptive writing, dialogue, beats, the rhythm of your sentences might change the reader's perception of time. And rhythm is in every word in every language (multi-lingo people, like yours truly, might notice how this affect the way you like your sentence constructed and use it to create a style true to you).

In short, longer words/sentences/paragraphs=slowing down. shorter words/sentences/paragraphs=speed up. There should be a balanced combination of acceleration and deceleration. Usually this is combined with story beats (action scene is followed with reaction scene, give the readers breathing room and create anticipation for next action).

An advice to combat writer's block I got when I first started writing was "Read poetry out loud."

Read anything out loud. Books from writers you like, song lyrics, your own writing. Get a feel of the shape of how the words are put together. This great advice does have an obvious deficit, ofc, in requiring the advisee possessing hearing and speech ability (and a deeper connection to them both; some people are just more visual, then it can be the length of sentences and paragraph on paper that matters). Anyone here who are writing hearing-impaired would like to chime in, we would be very grateful.

[minthe-lover]

Chapter analysis 218

Now I don't fully mind this chapter, I really do like the hypnos and I think it's a decent transition chapter to the next big plot points.. sort of kinda.. my reactions are mixed.

To start on a very positive note, I fucking love hypnos. This is sarcasm done decently well, along with him calling hades out on his shit is what I desperately needed. Also... I fine it pretty fun that he's just casually dicks out the whole time.

Now I think it's just a problem with the webtoon spacing but this episode that like... a weird completely blank panel before the title that isn't really on any of the other episodes but again that's a generally small mistake that's not that big a deal.

Now my biggest problem with this chapter is that it has ANOTHER GOD DAMN FLASH BACK. Like jesus even single flash back we get makes me think that season 2 should've ended right after the trail and we should've had season 3 be the ten year time skip, then have a fourth season with all the current shit. Like I went back and counted, out of the 12 episodes we have depending on how you count its either 5 or 6 episodes with out flashbacks... and there are three episodes that are ALL flashbacks.

If a story has a timeskip but then spends half the time after it to have flash backs.. you shouldn't have done that timeskip. If y'all want to see good time-skips read land of the lustrous. It has multiple massive time skips from anywhere from a month to ten thousand years but it works cause of how to ties into the story. Each time-skip is used to amplify the Main characters isolation, memory loss, and to show the stagnation of the immortal world they live in. The only flash back the land of the lustrous has is a few panels during exposition of event that happened before the story starts, and it never has flash backs to the timeskips.

In Lore olympus the time skip is used to... be able to have romantic moment between the important plot shit. It just feel clunky and makes each episode feel like each one should be done better... the suspense it would build for the kronos plot if done in order, seeing the progression of Persephones powers, seeing hades and Persephone grow apart from each other. Just... it would have been so so much better.

Now to another thing I really didn't like about this chapter is just.. how hades doesn't have his priorities straight. Hades is supposed to be you know focused how kronos did alot of fucked up shit, but he's worried about wine and hypnos using a doorway to go a realm. Like hades, your more worried about getting paid then not having an hr department.

Though again Hypnos calling hades out on his shit along, along with his general vibe and look is a great change of pace. It doesn't feel like lampshading.. tho it's honestly probably what it was for, to have Hades mess up acknowledged but then ignored.

That and also.. I really hope we get more of Morpheus mainly cause of the trans representation... that was never mentions in the story. Like christ when scrolling through the comments I saw two calling Morpheus a 'genderswap'.. so it's clear that even people who have knowledge of the original greek morpheus just think this one is a women and not a trans women.. and it sucks cause this representation sucks.

Another main problem is again.. the fertility powers that are just a catch all. Why is the tree persephone grew more connected to her fertility powers and not her plant ones? why is just being near the tree enough to give kronos a bunch of power? It's very much just a catch all power that can just be... anything. Also it's really sucks that the fertility powers never really tie into the whole "deconstruction of purity culture".. it's almost never mention to her sexuality in any way.. like the closest they get to that is apollo but that plot has been shaved down and ignored to basically nothing.

Another thing that is really annoying me is how serious scenes are undercut by goofy faces. Which really terribly shown in this episode... like we see hypnos be imprisoned and like have this honestly AMAZING shot of hypnos being inside kronos rib cage like a prison. Like that really cool idea that could have been a completely terrifying panel... but then rs gave hypnos one of the "funny" faces.. tat just completely ruins it. Especially taking into account that he is canonically being fucking tortured. Please please someone redraw this panel and make it look more serious.. cause holy shit I love and hate this panel so much.

Now I don't fully mind the while child god thing... yet, Its really to early to form any opinions on it till we actually first learn who it is and see how it's dealt with but having the big important plot point lead into a "harhar persephone hot joke" just... the pacing the clash in vibes is just bad.

Again this chapter highlights how bad the transition after the kronos fight was, instead of having a scene catching up with these characters we get persephone admitting to basically ignoring eros... Also like damn eros good job as stealing my insult about her outfit before I even thought of it!

The outfit itself just clashes with her outfits before, Persephone has been shown to prefer longer tight dress, sweater and similar things. This just... isn't it, it feels off and the whole banana purse thing looks odd.

I'll talk about the whole sex conversation with the next chapter.. what I wanna cover is just how.. they talk like a teenage rom-com that's desperately trying to keep a pg-13 rating so talk like middle schoolers who get nervous by just saying the word sex. It just feels.... off..

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

So the main complaints about both Rebel Moon movies is that they feature stiff acting, lack of chemistry amongst the main cast, poor dialogue, too many flashbacks and expositions dumbs, iffy FX, weak actions scenes made worse by excessive slow motion, too much farming made worse by excessive slow motion, poorly thought-out world building, and a complete lack of originality at almost ever level.

Not sure how adding an extra hour with more gore and violence is going to solve all those problems. Might fix some pacing issues, but they only seem to have those issues in the first place because they had to split these movies because there's way more backstory and flashbacks than they actually need. It's like if Lucas did A New Hope, but kept trying to cram in flashbacks to the prequels as well.

[arcocomic]

gearing up to script Chapter 3 (while also having to get started on drawing the final bit of chapter 2 hehe) which means reflecting on the chapters i've done so far and realizing... maybe there isn't enough stuff going down?

especially chapter 2 is kinda long and contains bits that could have been shortened / scrapped / that readers probably don't get the significance of 🤔 i mean i guess they're funny and introduce the characters and world some more but i could see readers getting tired and waiting for the Big Conflict to progress.

Chapter 3 will be low in action but high in (i hope) engaging world building and exposition... then there's ch4 and 5 which i should juice up some more with stakes and tension and drama...

maybe i'm overthinking this a bit like, how much big stuff can you expect to find in the introductory arc? ch6 will be an intermezzo-type war-flashback and from ch7 onwards we will get some real ACTION and CONFLICT for all characters. seems reasonable? i'll give it some thought.

[twd-obsessed-bitch]

Is it just me or does 6 episodes not feel like enough for the amount of story building they were tryna do. I feel like a lot of things went unanswered and like I know thats the point of a cliff hanger and that we're getting a season two but

Spoilers

We barely know who this woman is that the Croat took Negan too, we met her TWICE one of the times being when Negan met her.

And yet we're supposed to be concerned and scared of her, and the hold she has on Hershel, even though she cut off his toe?? And kept it???

Like I can see her becoming like the other mother in Coraline and playing a part of a doting woman who cares solely for Hershel, and how that would make Hershel kinda stockholmed into liking her etc. But you can't start that by cutting off his toe. Actually cutting off his toe at any part during the process would kinda fuck it up, would it not???

Speaking of Hershel, he's so angsty, and I love it to an extent but like where's the background for it? Where's the reasoning why he feels so cut off from his mom to borderline hate her for everything she does, including saving him?? Why does he feel the way he does. He's got about as much development as RJ in the main series and just is coming across as a whiny teen to me, I might be reading his character wrong but it's my opinion atm

And then you got new Babylon, and we have literally no explanation about them, barely even spoken exposition being like "oh yes new Babylon the people who are trying to bring back the old world and it's rules and are succeeding" like there's just barely that. That's all we know about them.

It doesn't help that pretty much the whole of episode 5 was just them walking through the sewers and not really doing much else, and that was mostly just to kill off Tommaso and Amaia, and to see the walked king. It was an hour long EP that got like a good 25 minutes of anything done besides walking.

So they basically wasted it.

And like don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the series, this isn't me saying I hated it or anything. Im just... Underwhelmed? Like it's been so hyped up as something newer than the main series, in a city that nobodies explored, that they made to be an epicenter for the whole thing. And its just kinda the same plots as the main series done a little bit differently by giving the viewer less knowledge of what's going on.

Like we kept getting that flashback to when the croat took Hershel, and he's screaming for Maggie and Maggie is screaming for him, and I thought they'd give us more, show us the conversation they had or something along those lines. But the extension of the scenes is just a wider angled shot of Maggie looking upset. It's underwhelming

And maybe that's on me for expecting more from AMC than what they've given us, and maybe I need to rewatch it to pick up on the things I might've missed the first time around. But like, overall, I'm underwhelmed and wished they used the 6 episodes more to their advantage or greenlit them for some more episodes in the season.

Cause like season one of the main series, that was 6 episodes, and every single episode was stuffed full of story telling and character building and exposition. It threw you into the world from minute one. Dead city is kinda just relying on you knowing the characters and their backstory and using that without expanding any further even though we have no idea who the Croat and his people are, who the marshals of new Babylon are, no clue who Hershel has grown into, or what happened in the time jump with Negan and Annie and their son.

This is really long, so anybody that's read it thanks lol, it's all kinda just word vomit so I hope it made sense.