#if you're gonna go for a woman then

[fadewalking]

I dont understand the appeal of Shadowheart.

[syekick-powers]

honestly like. the flaws in trying to universalize gender socialization aside, i think the reason why t/e/rf/s trying to claim that there are some kind of Universal Female Socialization or Universal Female Experience pisses me off so bad is like. the reason why i didn't experience a lot of the Typical Female Experiences is because i didn't fit into the standard expectations for how girls should dress, look, and behave, so as a result i was treated differently by my peers. and it feels to me that the kind of standards of femininity that te/r/fs and r/a/df/e/ms try to enforce on others match the same kinds of standards other kids put on me that i failed to match up to.

so when i see them saying shit like "all girls/women experience X!" it pisses me off real bad because i didn't experience that shit BECAUSE of the standards of femininity people enforced on me that i failed to live up to. and i know that they have standards of female experience that i just don't match. to name a few: i've never been stalked by a man. i've never been catcalled or continually hit on by men who wouldn't take no for an answer. ive never felt threatened by unfamiliar men on the streets at night. the only person who ever coerced me into sex i didn't want was a cis woman who pressured me into topping her. any expression of femininity i DID engage with was seen as a cheap, faulty imitation of real femininity that made me unworthy of anything but disdain and insults. i was constantly degendered and desexualized and treated as unworthy of sexual or romantic attention due to the way i looked (fat and gnc) and acted (neurodivergent and unapologetic about it).

so when i hear t/er/f/s crowing about how trans men and mascs are just gnc women and that they'd "love" to "help" us express masculine womanhood, i think about how so many people saw my masculinity when i was perceived as a woman and treated me as a socially untouchable freak who was unworthy of being granted the status of womanhood. like. get fucking real. you don't actually accept people afab who are gnc, you just want to say anything you possibly can to convince trans men, transmascs, and any other nonbinary/abinary people assigned female who want to or are actively transitioning in a masculine direction to either detransition or never attempt transition in the first place. you don't support female masculinity, you just want to use the Idea of it to lure us into transphobic abuse and convert us into "proper women". fuck all the way off with that shit.

[rontra]

AND I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER

[mewkwota]

Another little thing with a different set of siblings (only a small handful of them though). This was going with the idea of Rock inviting his buddies to stay at his place for an evening, and there are a lot more family members in that house than the last sleepover.

[sergle]

As someone that gets asks n messages filled with creepy shit and am waiting for a breast reduction. We should be able to kill these fucks together

let's! start! killing people!!

[gender-critical-analytical]

the way some of you clearly think bisexuals don't experience actual attraction and feelings for people, but rather decide ahead of time if they want a man or a woman this time and then just go and pick whoever comes into their line of sight next is so obvious and definitely makes me think you all don't need to speak on things you don't know about

[chaos-bringer-13]

My brain just hit an old hyperfixation (is this what it's called? I hope I used the word right) and oh dear am I losing my mind now. I need to write a story I think. About this one old guy. He's unhinged. There's so much information about him and yet not enough. I want to explore his character so much. He's definitely a criminal - at least he was one - and I'm 95% sure he can do actual real magic, and he's a musician and an artist and an actor and a magician and a philosopher and a traveler and a conman and so much more and also I think he's some kind of immortal. Maybe he just has a VERY long life. It's strongly implied he was a pirate at some point of his life. He started a cult by accident several times. My conspiracy theories about him include him being a secret god.

He's also a freaking round blue raven. Someone save me from my mind.

[mintharasthrone]

if orin was a man she would be so much more popular and given the most empathy

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[lobotomy-maybe-bestie]

i think trans people SHOULD get famous for bad art. i think trans people SHOULD get a major following for things they don't really put their whole heart into. i think trans people SHOULD be huge stars on the internet for decidedly mid quality content with problematic themes.

[teatitty]

This will not make any sense to anyone who does not religiously follow my Iruka posts but I woke up with the vivid idea of Iruka offhandedly telling Kurenai not to burden herself with his health problems [the chronic back pain] and Kurenai getting so mad about this she tugs his hair to make him look at her and asks if he thinks it's a burden when Kakashi gets migraines. Is it a burden when he has to lay down flat and hold a press over his eye because it throbs so harshly? Is it a burden when Gai's neurotic hyper energy goes too far, and we have to remind him of an inside voice? Is it a burden when we help one another out of the hospital? When Asuma got injured on a mission and needed help limping back?

And Iruka can't say anything to this because no, he doesn't see any of that as a burden he can only say "That's different" without being able to explain why and then Kurenai hits him with "We're friends, Iruka. You could be missing half your limbs and I'd still be in your life." Iruka, of course, doesn't know how to deal with that either, outside of getting irritated and bothered and shrugging her off so he can leave only to feel like an arsehole when he gets back home

He feels so bad about it, in fact, that next time he sees Kurenai he drops off some takowasa for her to eat and awkwardly accepts her invitation to sit at the table with her. He gets better about accepting her help after that

[bedforddanes75]

getting gender envy from someone My Own Gender really is an experience

[spiderlegeyelashes]

ok i was gonna stay over at my friend's house vut tbh i got tired so i said i'd go home bc j feel diahorrhea coming up and they both went like "Oh my God no.... bro it's midnight they're gonna rape u out there" girl i live three blocks down the street what the fuck are you talking about and i told them "dude i go for long walks around our area at 1am all the time it's literally fine also people aren't like... fucking monsters hiding in the bushes waiting for me to be alone to hurt me" and they just told me i'm stupid and crazy and i'm gonna get myself killed one of these days but they can't stop me since i'm an adult and they're not my mom, BUUT if i didn't text them once i'm home they'd call my friends (?? the fuck wojld that do) and then the police. who am i talking to. what am i doing here. anyway i took the biscoff carmel and cream ice cream i bought for them back with me and wouldn't u know it i DIDN'T get raped and killed on the street i've lived mh whole life on. woah crazy

[ladywaterfall]

give me your best tips for how to have an interesting answer for "tell me about yourself", cause I have a job interview tomorrow

[direwombat]

still trying to piece together the late-roman empire jakesyb au and fl;asdfj it really is just putting my own personal hc for jacob's bisexuality on blast wherein, in this au, he is mostly interested in men (ie, his fellow soldiers/his boytoy staci) but then there's also something inexplicably alluring to him about syb's strong, lithe, barbarian warrior's body

[vulpinesaint]

i don't talk about alucard castlevania very often because the last season of castlevania was so bad to me that i just don't engage with the show anymore like that but make no mistake. i have many thoughts and opinions on that man.