#ignore any mistakes this is all incoherent rambling

[televisionbodiez]

hey <3 i also love monty the biggest amounts and i think you should share your awesome thoughts about him (and his awesome friendship to gregory) with me and the world okay??

pls pls pls begging-

SORRY IT TOOK ME A SEC TO GET TO THIS BECAUSE IVE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL LATELY (°ロ°) !!!

BUT OMG HAI HAI ⭐️ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MONTY!!!!!!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE!! JUST A LOT OF HEADCANONS N STUFF ^^

IM STARTING WITH ANGST.. IJUST THINK ABOUT MONTY ANGST SOOOO MUCH

- The quote "im not a violent dog, I don't know why I bite" reminds me of Monty SO MUCH. He is so prone to anger but he hates that side of himself. He can't control it. And being self aware of his anger just makes him feel even worse. He wishes that he could he softer and nicer, he just hates how he is so much. Monty feels stuck and is always longing for a more peaceful existence.

OKAY MOVING PAST THE ANGST!!!

- As a way for him to cope with his anger better, Fazbear Entertainment started to require that he goes to the daycare and hangs out with Sun. Think of it as unofficial "anger management."

- Sun has experience with dealing with emotional kids so it is genuinely good for Monty !!! He gets to participate in arts and crafts and the kids there are excited over him !!!!

- it's funny to think about him looking so oversized when sitting at the arts and crafts tables surrounded by all of the kids

- Initially, Monty REALLY REALLY HATED GOING THERE. AND WAS REALLY MEAN TOWARDS SUN, but Sun still remained nice and friendly because he was eager to befriend Monty nonetheless

- AND THEY DID END UP AS FRIENDS!! In their own time, Sun had opened up to Monty about how he deals with difficult emotions as well. Monty hearing someone else endure something similar to his struggles was eye opening

- Roxy and Monty are so siblings/bffs, they absolutely gossip with eachother and Monty let's Roxy practice makeup on him

- I THINK MONTY AND CHICA WOULD BE SUCH CUTE BFFS.

- Monty's "rivalry" with Freddy is one sided and VERY unserious, Freddy is so friendly with him and Monty gets all grumpy (but he does like Freddy, he just doesn't want to admit it. He's his self proclaimed "enemy")

- HIS TAIL WAGS WHEN HES EXCITED.

- I have a headcanon that depending on the animatronic, they're programmed to work better with a certain age group and Monty is more targeted towards older kids and teens

- Monty loves cute things but he really wants to keep up his cool Rockstar persona SO HE HIDES HIS LIKING TOWARDS CUTE STUFF.... but the rest of the glamrocks can see how obvious it is when kids give him gifts and his tail starts wagging over recieving a Hello Kitty plushie or something

- so he isn't the best at dealing with little kids and gets awkward at times

- BUT YOUNGER KIDS SEEM TO LIKE HIM SO MUCH. he reminds them of a dinosaur AND KIDS LOVE DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- even if he's all awkward with the younger kids it's okay, the kids find it funny and he gets more familiar with dealing with them as time goes on

MONTY N GREGORY TIME!!!

- With him and Gregory, both of them would end up being so mischievous at the expense of the other glamrocks,, they would absolutely pull really stupid pranks and test out stupid things

- Monty is like the fun uncle who encourages Gregory's recklessness WHICH IS A NIGHTMARE DUO FOR FREDDY WHO GETS SO CONCERNED ABOUT GREGORYS SAFETY

- but tbh I think Monty and Gregory are less like an uncle and nephew and more like an older brother an younger brother

- like they tease eachother and will argue over dumb things😭

- thinking about Monty and Gregory getting temporarily banned from the daycare because Monty was trying to throw Gregory into the ballpit from as high as possible

[mrmuftin]

You useless piece of shit. You absolute waste of space and air. You uneducated, ignorant, idiotic dumb swine, you’re an absolute embarrassment to humanity and all life as a whole.

The magnitude of your failure just now is so indescribably massive that one hundred years into the future your name will be used as moniker of evil for heretics. Even if all of humanity put together their collective intelligence there is no conceivable way they could have thought up a way to fuck up on the unimaginable scale you just did.

When Jesus died for our sins, he must not have seen the sacrilegious act we just witnessed you performing, because if he did he would have forsaken humanity long ago so that your birth may have never become reality.

After you die, your skeleton will be displayed in a museum after being scientifically researched so that all future generations may learn not to generate your bone structure, because every tiny detail anyone may have in common with you degrades them to a useless piece of trash and a burden to society.

No wonder your father questioned whether or not your were truly his son, for you'd have to not be a waste of carbon matter for anyone to love you like a family member.

Your birth made it so that mankind is worse off in every way you can possibly imagine, and you have made it so that society can never really recover any state of organization. Everything has forever fallen into a bewildering chaos, through which unrecognizable core, you can only find misfortune.

I would say the apocalypse is upon us but this is merely the closest word humans have for the sheer scale of horror that is now reality. You have forever condemned everyone you love and know into an eternal state of suffering, worse than any human concept of hell.

You are such an unholy being, that if you step within a one hundred foot radius of a holy place or a place that has ever been deemed important by anyone, your distorted religious soul will ruin whatever meaning it ever had beyond repair.

You are an idiotic, shiteating, dumbass ape and no one has ever loved you. You are a lying, backstabbing, cowardly useless piece of shit and I hate you with every single part of my being.

Even this world's finest writers and poets from throughout the ages could never hope to accurately describe the scale on which you just fucked up, and how incredibly idiotic you are.

Anyone that believes in any religion out there should now realize that they have been wrong this entire time, for if divine beings were real, they would never have allowed a being such as you to stain the earth and this universe.

In the future there will be horror stories made about you, with the scariest part of them being that the reader has to realize that such an indescribable monster actually exists, and that the horrific events from the movie have actually taken place in the same world that they live in right now.

You are the absolute embodiment of everything that has ever been wrong on this earth, yet even that would only represent a small part of your evil. Never in the history of mankind has there been anyone that could have predicted such an abomination, but here you are.

It’s hard to believe that I am seeing such an incredible failure with my own eyes, but here I am, so unfortunately I cannot deny your existence. Even if I did my very best, my vocabulary is not able to describe the sheer magnitude of the idiotic mistake that is you.

Even if time travel some day will be invented, there still would not be a single soul willing to go back in time to this moment to fix history, because having to witness such incredible horrors would have too many mental and physical drawbacks that not even the bravest soul in history would be willing to risk it.

I cannot imagine the pure dread your mother must have felt when she had to carry a baby for nine months and then giving birth to such a wretched monster as you. Not a single word of the incoherent, illogical rambling you may be wanting to do to defend yourself or apologize would ever be able to make up for what you just did.

The countries of the world would have wanted to make laws preventing such a terrible event like this from ever happening again, but sadly this is not possible since your horrific actions just now have shattered every form of order this world once had, making concepts such as laws irrelevant.

Right from the moment I first set my eyes on you I knew you were an absolute abomination of everything that is wrong with humanity. I was hoping I would have been able to prevent your evil from being released upon this world by tagging along and keeping my eye on you, but it is clear to me now that not even the greatest efforts would have been able to prevent a terrible event in this scale from occurring.

You are the worst human being, or even just being in general, that I have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. Events like the Black Death and the Smallpox pandemic only happened with the goal of preparing humanity to survive such a horrible event as the one you just created, but not even mankind’s greatest trials were able to even slightly prepare anyone for the insufferable evil you have just created.

If you ever had them, your children would be preemptively killed to protect this universe from the possibility of anyone in your bloodline being even half as bad as you are, except you will never be able to have children, because not a single human being will ever want to come within a hundred mile radius of you and anything you have ever touched.

You are a colossal disappointment not only to your parents, but to your ancestors and entire bloodline. The disgusting mistake that you have just made is so incredibly terrible that everyone who would ever be to hear about it would spontaneously feel an indescribable mixture of immense anger, fear and anxiety that emotionally and physically they would never truly be the same ever again.

The sheer scale of your mistake, if ever to be materialized, would not only surpass the size of the world, but it would reach far beyond the edges of the known, and almost certainly the unknown universe.

I could sit here and write paragraphs, nay, books describing your immense failure, yet even if I were to dedicate my life to describing the reality of what has just gone down here, and I would spend every moment of it until my heart stops beating, working as hard and efficiently as possible, there is not even a snowballs chance in hell that I would be able to come close to transcribing the absolute shitshow you have just released upon the world.

When people of Columbia fought to break free from Lungmen, countless soldiers fought and lost their lives in favor of a chance at a better future for their children, they did not give their lives to have you fuck the world up beyond repair to the degree that you are doing right now. Honestly, even when technology advances and studies on the subject become more and more accurate, I do not think humanity will ever truly be able to understand what your failure actually means for the universe.

My hate for you and everything you stand for is so much deeper than the depths of Shambala that you could probably take the entire Lungmen population down there and back up around twenty million times before you would have sunk to the end of my hate, and honestly, I do not want to exaggerate, but I think that that insult was low balling it such a massive amount that all mountains in this world combined would not be able to stack up to this imprecise judgement in light of the fact that, when being honest, my hate is almost certainly bottomless.

Huh?

[vexedallay]

Fable and ic relationship

Fable cares abt them but not enough

Ic defends him because losing him would mean losing hope of fixing things and saving centross. Fable isn't really their father anymore, he's more like a God to them, one they turn to at every challenge, one they turn to for guidance in every single situation, and he is a God, but to not the in the way they treat him

They aren't really his child anymore, not entirely, their relationship doesn't feel like parent-child (to me) and icarus calls them fable now too, fable lost the title of dad when he tried to kill them, and they might be working with him and brushing that fact off, because right now they need him, but they're only keeping him around while he's useful. Icarus is falling for his manipulation consciously, they choose to believe the lies because they don't think they have a choice, and they know he's a bad person, but as they pointed out, they've done everything he has but they didn't have a good reason, and if he's bad for doing that with a good reason then what are they. And that goes all the way back to how corruption affected them because their brain absolutely changed from corruption, cc!sherbs even mentioned that enderian ignoring them has had a massive impact on how they're acting now, and we can see how the arson never really went away. They kept the idea that whatever they did was them, fully them, not anybody else or outside influence, but they lost the idea that they were doing the right thing, and now it means that they're taking the full brunt of that and thinking that everything they did they could do again if they're not careful, and they've never seen any sort of evidence to the contrary. What with nearly killing centross and everything. They keep saying it, that they only ever make mistakes, and honestly, it makes sense why. Literally everything they've ever been good at has been soured for them. Flight- quixis sure fucked up their wings and theyve died from falling what 20 times now, fighting (let's be real they're good at fighting and the only reason it's not canon is bc cc!sherb is a wimp) and the first reset sure was mostly them fighting their friends, alchemy- they sure fucking blew up a potion and knocked out Rae causing Easton to go blind and they sure do blame themself for that not to mention scoria and perix and the various really bad effects they've made (they've actively wondered if alchemy in general is bad in canon before during the scoria stream), so on and so forth. They definitely know that they're making a mistake, but to give up is to lose everything that is holding them together, and now they've fucked up every other option they mightve had, so even if they wanted to stop, they don't exactly have anywhere to turn.

Um. That's probably mostly incoherent bc there was no actual organization to this post just a bunch of rambling so have fun with that. I'll clean this up at some point. I should probably just put together a full character analysis abt icarus bc I have so many thoughts huh

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Suddenly thinking of Vox in the immediate aftermath of Alastor torturing him. The first few weeks after the Vees recovered him.

I think he was probably more or less catatonic and unresponsive and when he wasn’t he was incoherent and terrified.

Before they realized something was still terribly wrong again they both both so relieved when they finally got an understandable sentence out of him.

It took weeks just to repair his body. Weeks of Valentino and Velvette waiting for him to wake up. Weeks of single-mindedly trying to locate Alastor whenever they weren't stuck in the repair room, monitoring their employees to make sure none of them made even the smallest mistake. They thought (they hoped) that Alastor had simply made a mistake, not noticing that Vox wasn't dead yet when he ended the broadcast, but as time ticks by, thoughts creep in, unbidden– why didn't he finish him off? They try to ignore that question. Vox's body is nearly fixed and once he's back online they'll all have a good laugh about how arrogant Alastor was to think he could slay The Media Demon. Video killed the radio star, not the other way around.

Eager, anxious tension hangs in the air when the day finally comes to turn Vox back on. He's alive, he's fully repaired, everything's fine. It's going to be fine. The head engineer pushes the button and the VoxTek logo blooms across his face, blue and red and just as it should be. And then, suddenly, it flickers. Vox's face appears on his screen, but the display is black and white. He doesn't respond, doesn’t move, even as Val tries nervously to greet him. The repair team exchange concerned looks (Why isn't he reacting? All his diagnostics came back fine). And then Vox opens his mouth. And pure, ear-splitting, static-filled noise comes blasting out his speakers at maximum volume.

For the next month, Vox cannot speak. All that's coming out of him is static and incomprehensibly distorted clips from a hundred different broadcasts. He doesn't seem like he can see or hear either. The repair team try to fix him, assuming they must have missed something, but they can't find anything wrong with him. Val and Velvette are at a loss. Val can't stand to remain in the tower any longer and goes out to hunt for Alastor personally, leaving Velvette to try to manage the whole situation by herself. Valentino never finds Alastor.

Eventually, the noise coming out of Vox starts improving– they can at least make out what the clips he's playing say. There's no rhyme or reason to them though. He's not trying to communicate (or at least, they don't think he is), it's just randomly spliced-together gibberish. He seems like he's regaining his sensory capabilities though, since he’s actually reacting to stimuli again, even if the reactions are erratic and obviously fearful. It's an improvement, but the Vees are starting to worry that something might be truly, genuinely wrong.

At last, the day comes when Vox can speak with his own voice. What comes out is pure nonsense— unrelated words with no grammatical structure or pauses for "breath." It's scary to hear, but Val and Vel push those feelings down. He's recovering. He’s been slowly getting better every day for the past few months. It might take a while, but soon he'll be back to normal.

Vox eventually starts speaking in actual sentences again. They're rambly and frantic and don't make much sense, but at least they're legible as sentences. He can see and hear and walk again, even if he doesn't seem to recognize anyone or know where he is. It's painful to see him like this, but Valentino and Velvette wait patiently for the next step in his recovery.

It never comes.

[angelkurenai]

Oh baby dear - Chris Evans x Reader

Title: Oh baby dear

Pairing: Chris Evans x Surrogate!Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: After a trip that gives the chance to Chris to take a long-overdue break from his job, he comes back home with his mind made up to change his life. And even if it weren’t for the trip itself or meeting you, even though he had no idea if he’d ever see you again, he was determined to not wait any longer. Feeling ready to become a father he starts looking for a surrogate mother, only to end up finding you of all people.

“Son of a guy. You meant it.” brown eyes were wide, and for the first couple seconds no other sound could be heard in the room. It almost felt like the words could echo in the room.

“You're really doing this.” the man's voice was filled with just as much shock as was painted all over his face. At least the woman behind him was more calm, sipping on her drink with an ease that would have been troubling, especially in such a case, if it wasn't known that she had long ago heard the news.

“I wouldn't have brought it up in the first place if I wasn't seriously considering it.” the other man in the room couldn't take his eyes off his friend, trying to gauge his reaction the second it came through. It was bound to be the most honest one, no second thoughts, and he only needed his friends' honest thoughts. Not that, and he was sure of it, the other man would intentionally tell him anything but the truth.

“You- wow.” the shocked expression was still there but there was no mistaking the smile that was slowly but surely appearing on his face “Seems like Evans is finally joining the club, who'd have thought? That's what I call one heck of a year, quickly Scarlett note the date down! It's going to go down in the history books, I tell you. Oh you're in for one hell of a ride, buddy! Wait you knew about this, didn't you?” he turned to the woman but shook his head soon enough “Never mind. You're gonna have to look for a godmother but I do get to be the godfather, right? I really need to start making preparations, nine months are not even remotely enough. I gotta-”

“Take a deep breath and calm down, Robert. That's what you gotta do. Otherwise this kid won't get to meet its one-of-a-kind godfather. And we would never want that to happen, would we?” the woman interrupted his rambling, a teasing smile on her own lips as she noticed Chris himself chuckle.

“Oh goodness forbid that could ever happen.” Chris laughed some more, his chest feeling lighter than it had in the past couple days “And besides that, there has not been a surrogate found just yet. Papers got approved only a day ago, it will take more time than that.”

“You say that as if the second every woman finds out you're on that kind of market, won't volunteer to have your baby. Heck, I know most of them would gladly volunteer to do it the old-fashioned way! You'll see, you will be getting news very soon.” Robert brushed his friend off and got up from his seat, making his way to the mini bar to grab a drink for himself “Which means, I really gotta start preparing everything because a) this is Evans' kid and b) I'm the godfather and it'll get only the best!”

Scarlett couldn't help but laugh, while Chris shook his head with a chuckle, before she added “As you can see, he is going to be more trouble than the kid.” she ignored the look that was shot at her from Robert and kept going “But, speaking of it, I never asked: Did you never really consider adoption?”

“For most of the time that's what I had in mind, yes, but-” he sighed, easing back in his seat “I asked about it and my chances were sadly very low, given my job and everything, not to mention how lengthy of a process it all was. Sebastian was actually the one to suggest it and you know I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. Granted, it is just as hard to find a surrogate who is also willing to be the biological mother but I feel like I have more to hope for this way.”

“You have every reason to be hopeful, I'm sure this will work out just fine. Besides-” she offered her friend a warm smile “There is no other man that I can think of that could be a better father than you. This child will be very lucky.”

“...The part of Robert being the godfather excluded?” Chris added with a smirk, eyeing his friend who narrowed his eyes at him, before both Chris and Scarlett burst into laughter.

“Life isn't perfect, what can you do?” she grinned as she took a sip of her drink.

“I'll try to be the better man, as always, and not comment on any spiteful comments against me. You're just jealous I am going to be the world's best godfather. Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to comment on.” he plopped back on his seat and gave the blue-eyed man a sly smile “Sebastian you say but I'm wondering: was it him or that summer trip to Italy that really prompted you to become a dad? Maybe a certain someone you met there? What was her name...”

“Don't-” it was all he had time to get out, his eyes wide and voice very warning; but there was never any stopping the man when he wanted to speak his mind.

“Ah yes.” Robert grinned widely “(Y/n).”

“What- Who?” Scarlett frowned, tilting her head to the side “How come I haven't heard of her before? I thought you told me everything about Italy.”

“She's nobod-”

“Probably the love of his life. Something like his soulmate. One he talks about a lot in his sleep, hence why I should hold more parties and have you guys over. The info I get is golden. Anyway, think of it as the star-crossed lovers but one where he isn't the Lana Del Rey young and beautiful, you know? Heard she's something like a med or psych graduate or something. So come to think of it all, Italy, soulmates and age difference, this is like another version of Call me by your-”

“And that's it for you. Enough words spoken for one day.” Scarlett said, not hesitating a second to place a hand over the man's mouth who admittedly didn't give up even if his words were only an incoherent mumble after that.

Chris' eyes were wide and there was no mistaking the way he wanted to not talk about it, as if there was some unparalleled sadness that came with the mention of your name, a deep ache and at the same time yearning perhaps because he missed you, just like there was no mistaking the tint of pink that was on his cheeks.

“That's-” he cleared his throat, avoiding looking at his friends in the eyes because he knew how easy it would be to tell that even so many months later the feelings were fresh as much as the day he had to leave, the day he left a part of himself on the airport with you – a part he knew real well he wouldn't get back again, certainly not from any other woman he got to meet. That missing part of him, even if the rest held all the beautiful memories dearly to itself and felt truly blessed, he knew was obvious. It was all on his face that he was missing something, even if he'd gotten so much. And he knew she would see it, it all became so obvious when he thought of you.

He shook his head when he realized he had taken longer than needed to reply “It was way too long ago, I can hardly remember it now. Hell, as if barely anything happened to begin with. She was just-” a lump in his throat, too painful “I made a good friend, a really good friend yes, who helped me see my life in a different way. Helped me make my choice and see the things that really matter. Couldn't keep in contact and yes that's a bit sad but- That's all there is to it, nothing more nothing less.”

Scarlett regarded him for a couple seconds, even as he tried to keep himself busy with getting another drink, before she finally spoke “If you say so.” she nodded her head “At least we now know who we owe this to and who to thank for our family growing, don't we?”

“Then-” Robert's smile was softer, yet also sad, as he raised his glass a bit “Let's drink to that, if not your baby just yet. To (Y/n)?”

“To (Y/n).” Scarlett nodded her head “For helping you make the best decision of your life, wherever she may be now.”

Chris hesitated, the unspoken truth of you not only being the one to help him make the decision but also be part of that decision, part of the family he wanted to build, was ready to break free from his lips but he held it back “Wherever she may be.” he said in a low hoarse voice, raising his glass as well “To (Y/n).”

He had not allowed himself to say your name in a long time and thinking back to it, the effect had been evident not only in his chest, in his heartbeat, but also in his lips, how painfully strange it felt when all he had been doing was think about it for months to no end, down to his throat that closed up with emotion. And he had allowed himself to say it not only so that he would make sure his friends would drop the subject but also because it had been a long time, he felt the need to and he knew that he wouldn't get the chance to do so, not anytime soon for sure.

And yet, only seconds ago, the name had left his lips for the second time in barely a couple days.

His brain could barely keep up with the fact, all the information he had to currently process seemed to make things even harder. Saying your name this time certainly had the same effect, his throat closed up and his heart leaped to his throat, but it felt like it was for an entirely different reason. He blinked several times, trying to make sure that what he was seeing was also true, to make sure that it wasn't wishful thinking and that him holding his breath had not reduced the levels of oxygen to a point where he couldn't even see straight. Truth be told, he felt pretty lightheaded.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n).” he repeated your name for the third time, the third time in only a couple days his mind nearly screamed at him, but it didn't feel the same this time.

“Yes, I would say she seems like one of the most, if not the most, suitable candidate for you case.” the woman behind the desk gave him a warm smile but his brain was still currently stuck on the word 'candidate'.

“I'm sorry. There seems to be some misunderstanding here and I- I don't know whose part it is on, but-” he licked his lips, trying to swallow over the lump in his throat “When you say- What you're trying to say- I'm sorry.” he shook his head and let a couple seconds to pass in silence; he knew she wouldn't ask before him.

Taking a deep breath he decided to speak, even if his voice was hoarse he hoped she could make out the words “Candidate for what?”

The woman frowned a bit but it was gone faster than it could register, as she spoke in a calm voice “Your case. To be not only the surrogate you are looking for. See, her current, and according to her permanent from now on, residence is in New York City and very close to the residence you have listed as your permanent one. It is important, you understand, if we take into consideration that she will be the biological mother of the child. You might want the child to be able to stay in touch with her, and vice versa, so the close proximity does help. Of course that is always up to you, but in most cases we've seen it hap-”

“When did she sign up for this?” he asked, barely able to keep himself to wait for her to finish her sentence.

“Pardon?” she blinked and only then he realized how he might have sounded.

“You're right. I apologize, that came out as wrong.” he cleared his throat again “What I mean is... does she know who I am? That she- she's signing up to be a surrogate for my child.”

“Every surrogate must be informed, of course, of you as you are informed of her. She too must know whose child she will carry, don't you think it's fitting? But if you are uhm-” she hesitated “Concerned about other children, then, you need not worry. It's not my place to say this but it seems like-” she smiled a bit, almost knowingly “That you have already chosen, so I believe it wouldn't really be against any rule to say this. Consider it an extra bit of information.”

'Seems like you have already chosen.' would be a vast understatement. It was like every cell in his body was screaming 'Yes', chanting it over and over again that he was seriously worried he might have projected it somehow. He could barely control the words that came out of his lips anyway. If anything, the second he had come across the file with your name he had been glued to it, his eyes and all of his attention orbiting around the single file as if he was Earth and you were his Sun. Not far from the truth either.

But it also must have shown- No scratch that. He was sure it had shown because he had done no effort to hide it, too stunned and happy and eager and giddy and blessed and so many other things, to try to hide it. And she had clearly noticed.

“So, no, she has not mothered another child. As a matter of fact, Miss (Y/l/n) is doing this for the first time.” the woman leaned back in her chair “She came to us with the belief that there was too much sadness out there and, amongst other things, she decided to do this little one thing to help someone out. To make someone happy. I believe she didn't really have any further expectations out of this, no further plans, other than wanting to do some good. We only informed her of your case and she said she'd like to help, nothing else.” she shrugged softly “For any further reasons behind her choice you could ask her, I suppose. If you do think she could be the right choice to be the mother of your child, then-”

“She is.” he said, maybe a little too fast, but he didn't care. He didn't find a single part of him that cared for how eager he looked at the prospect of you being the mother of his child. Granted, it wasn't exactly how he'd imagined it but it was so much more than he ever thought he'd get, of what he thought he deserved, when he had told you goodbye that summer.

He cleared his throat again, trying to straighten his back and look as formal as he should in the suit he was wearing. He offered her a small smile “She is the right one. I think I've decided. I-” he paused, glancing at the pile of files and therefore other candidates which he had absolutely not even taken a glimpse at and he hoped she wouldn't comment on it “I've thought things through, yes.” because no man could make such a decision so hastily, he knew, and yet he looked like he just had “I'm glad for all the candidates it means a lot but uhm Miss (Y/l/n) seems to be indeed the right one. I think she will do just fine yes.”

“Wonderful.” she smiled more, nodding her head “If it means anything, she seemed happy when she was presented with your case.” oh if only she knew just how much it really meant to him, ask his wildly-beating heart and everyone would know just how much “Now, you understand that while you seem pretty sure and confident with your choice, you will have to give it some more time, more than anything to get in touch with the surrogate herself and discuss through any specific terms you might have. We will be the ones to set a meeting. Of course there are legal issues that need to be taken care of, but you're a lawyer yourself so you probably know that better than anybody else already.”

“Y-yes uh of course, yes, legal terms. Mr Wilson will represent me on the matter of course. But you said-” he folded his hands over his lap and threaded his fingers and it was either that or let his nerves show “Meeting her? Will I get to meet her in person soon or...?”

“That, Mr Evans, is completely up to you, how ready and sure you are, how much time you need and how fast you want things to progress.” she said as if she'd had this conversation many times over and she probably had “It could be within a week, a month, or, if you have no doubts, within three days the soonest possible. So, do you need time to think over-”

“The soonest possible. I'd like-” he nodded his head, straightening his suit's jacket “I think it would be best if I could meet with her the soonest possible. She's just what I was looking for.”

[manikas-whims]

11/08/2022: Marinette struggles against Adrien's charms

☆ Read Adrien's version of this fic HERE

Inspired by MLB Season 5 Ep2: Multiplication but instead of trying to kiss her cheek, Adrien tries something else..;)

Marinette pressed her lips into a tight line as he stepped out of his car. Adrien Agreste. The son of the famous fashion designer Gabriel Agreste and most importantly, the boy she secretly loved but no longer had the right to. Not after the grave mistake she had committed— losing all the miraculouses from right under her nose.

He was friendlier these days and she believed it had something to do with the conversation they had a few days ago about him not wanting to be a model. She had never seen him so honest and vulnerable, and it made her wonder if just knowing his entire daily schedule by heart was all there was to him. Did she (or any of her classmates) ever know a shred of the real him?

The old Marinette would've loved to peer beneath more layers of him and find out. Unfortunately, she couldn't allow herself that luxury anymore.

She watched him hi-five Nino and fist-bump Alya as usual. Then came the difficult part. He turned towards her, his smile radiant and eager. She knew what was next. La Bise— a simple, french greeting she refused every day. And she did realize it was extremely rude of her but again, she couldn't.

She couldn't. She shouldn't. She absolutely mustn't.

Because if she regularly lets herself be touched by his amiable gestures, it'll be twice as hard for her to resist falling even more in love with him.

So as he lowered his face to her cheek, she stepped back and offered a handshake, hoping that he'd comply today as well and go back to treating her like every other friend.

To her utter disbelief, he wrapped his fingers around hers gently. And before she could comprehend his forthcoming actions, his lips were on the back of her palm. He planted a soft kiss there, its sensation leaving a warmth that'll linger in her heart forever.

“Good morning, Prin- Marinette.” He said, lips quirked into a ghost of a smirk.

The gesture was so familiar to that of a leather-clad, cat superhero she knew that she stared dubiously for a moment, embarrassing not merely herself but him as well with her reaction or lack thereof. When she finally looked away, she found her hand still held within his. Immediately she felt the heat of a blush crawl over her cheeks and snatched her hand away, stumbling back.

“Goodbye– No! I mean– G-Good morning to you too!” She responded, embarrassing herself even further.

Thankfully, kind as he was, Adrien ignored her incoherent ramblings and smiled warmly at her.

» 10/? of Manika's Mini Fics «

more than anything in Season 5, i wanna see Adrien bring out his Chat Noir in front of Marinette 🤭

[kodzuvii]

ON TRACK! ✩ [14: so, I guess we’re soulmates?]

next: [15: the rock wannabe]

pairing - iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre - crack + fluff :) soulmate au!

synopsis - In a world where soulmates can hear the songs their partner is singing or listening too at any time, Iwaizumi Hajime wants to know who his soulmate is so he can give them a piece of his mind and tell them to stop singing along to soft lofi songs while he’s in the middle of practice because it’s seriously ruining his cool, calm, and collected image.

wc: 4k

warnings!: grammar issues plz ignore + awkward phone call between two overthinking teenagers? 

a/n: this is severely long overdue and I apologize deeply for that. the taglist for this series is open! more info will be found in the note after the story! ty :)

“Nee-chan’s weakness #16: overthinks more often than usual when under a lot of pressure”

Akaashi loved you. He really did. But if the higher-ups gave him an option to choose a new older sister, then maybe, just maybe, he would consider taking it. As he watched you frantically pace around his room with your dog (who looked quite scared) in your arms, he wondered if you viewed him more of a personal therapist rather than a little sibling.

His evening was going normal. After a long day of practice, all he intended to do was read a book after dinner and maybe watch a movie with Tofu afterwards just before bed. Nowhere in his plans were for you to barge into his room unannounced with an evident look of panic on your face while mumbling incoherent words. 

Your hair was a mess and you were clad in an oversized sweater and superman pajama pants with Tofu in one of your arms while your phone was being held tightly in your other hand. All he could get from the words leaving your lips at a 1.75 playback speed was “soulmate” and “phone call” and “not ready.” 

Akaashi watched you stop in your tracks and pull out his desk chair. You plopped yourself onto the seat, face warm and flushed as you tried to recall how you were feeling. “No Keiji I’m telling you that any second now, my soulmate is gonna call me and uhm? Quite frankly, my brain can’t process that and I am fucking scared.” 

Akaashi hummed, “nee-chan calm down.” Tofu then jumped out of your arms and leaped onto Akaashi’s bed. He walked up and cuddled up near the setters side which made Akaashi smile before turning his attention back to you. 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your legs and spun around on his chair, “no Kei this is serious. This first phone call is basically equivalent to a meet-cute which also means the first impressions. I feel like his first impression already isn’t good because I literally injured his friend so this is my moment to redeem myself” you rambled. 

Akaashi made eye contact with Tofu and even the poor dog looked concerned at your state.

“Kei, what if this is all a mistake? I mean the universe must be against me somehow right? What if he hates me the moment I answer and then next thing you know he’s telling me that he wants us to reject each other and then I’m gonna be left all alone to roam around this miserable world and-mph!”

You flinched back as you felt a soft pillow collide with your face and stop your ramble. You looked down at the pillow on the floor and snapped your head up to your brother, “what was that for!” Akaashi rolled his eyes and petted Tofu with his right hand, “you overthink too much” he replied simply. 

You narrowed your eyes at him but you couldn’t come up with any comeback in your head. He was right after all. You groaned and stood up from the spinny chair and walked over to his bed before belly-flopping down. You leaned over and grabbed the blue pillow near his headboard and Akaashi watched as you screamed into the plush material. 

You were losing it.

“This sucks Keiji, I’m terrible at phone calls. I don’t even answer Otosan’s phone calls so how the fuck am I supposed to answer my soulmates?”

In Miyagi, Iwaizumi unknowingly found himself in a similar state as you. The moon was shining from his window and the light cascaded a soft glow into his room. With his windows wide open, he could feel the cool breeze blowing in and slightly brushing over his face. But the breeze didn’t help calm his nerves at all.

Iwa was a simple guy, really he was. 

As someone who meditated regularly as well as found good coping mechanisms that would help calm his stress levels down, you would think that he’d be relaxed in this situation.

But no, Iwa was also internally panicking. Being the stubborn boy he was, he tried to play it off and cool himself down by fooling himself into believing that he was fine and that he had everything under control.

He didn’t

Iwa cracked his neck and looked back down at his phone. He was sitting on the sides of his bed, hand gripping tightly onto his phone as his eyes stared at your number displayed on the screen right under your name and his thumb barely hovering over the call button. 

“Okay. I’m gonna do it,” he thought to himself for the nth time in the past 10 minutes.

He took a deep breath and gave himself an internal word of encouragement and made the move. ‘So close’ he thought. “This is it, I’m gonna do it” But just as his thumb barely, just barely, made contact with the screen, he pulled it back and harshly threw his phone at his pillow. He closed his eyes and groaned in frustration as he fell back, his back hitting his mattress.

This was starting to piss him off. 

It was just a phone call. 

Him simply contacting and talking verbally to someone through his phone. 

He was fine.

Right?

Yeah no, he was totally fine. Pft He’s had phone calls before. In fact, he had done it several times with several people (that’s a lie he only picks up to his parents and maybe Oikawa on good days) Why was this so hard? Phone calls are a natural thing. Especially in the 21st century. He wasn’t some old man who had no idea how to talk on the phone. 

He got this. 

But wait, did you even want him to call you first? What if you wanted to call him first? Wait what if he asked you during the wrong time and you’re tired? 

Iwaizumi then lifted his head slightly to look at the clock on his bedside table. It was 8 pm. It wasn’t that late right? You would’ve told him if you were busy right? Wait what if you’re an early bird who liked catching a full 12 hours of sleep. Or what if you were just too scared to tell him you weren’t in the mood to call. God, there were so many factors he should’ve thought about before asking you. He blinked and heaved a frustrated sigh as he looked up to his ceiling. This was a lot harder than he’d thought. 

If there was one thing he learned from Oikawa’s fangirls is that girls are scary.

You were no exception to that idea.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath before pulling himself back up and leaned over to grab his phone. He turned it to the side and made sure once again that his ringer was on and that the volume was all the way up just in case you know, you wanted to call first and save him from all the stress he was feeling. 

He stared at your contact information and gripped his phone tighter. Your contact didn’t even have a photo and your name was just ‘Akaashi Y/n’ on his phone. Everything that happened between you two from the past couple of weeks flooded his head and he couldn’t help but internally cringe. He silently cursed at Oikawa for bringing him into this situation because maybe, just maybe, he could’ve held off this first phone call and wait for a couple of years when his voice would be a lot deeper and he would be a lot cooler and he wouldn’t be sitting on his bed with a pathetic expression while listening to his phone ring and-

Wait,

Ring?

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as he now realized that he must’ve subconsciously pressed the call button on his screen. This was it, there was no turning back now. His olive-green eyes stared blankly at his screen. He kept blinking and re-reading your name and just hoping silently that it would change from your name to Oikawa’s so he could yell out all his frustration at him. 

A couple of seconds went by before the ringing stopped and he felt his breath hitch when his ears picked up the sound of your voice on the other line. 

“Hello?”

Oh, shit this was really happening

It’s been 3 seconds, shut up Hajime. 

Iwaizumi cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Hey, Akaashi-chan right?”

“Mhm but please just call me Y/n! oh and uh hi Iwaizumi-kun” 

Iwaizumi blinked, he doesn’t know why but he felt his cheeks heat up as he heard his name come out of your lips. Iwaizumi cleared his throat before bringing a hand to scratch the back of his neck, “Uh- how are you doing?” he asked. Oh my god, you probably picked up on how unconfident he sounded. This is horrible. He winced and brought his hand to his forearm, rubbing it in an attempt to ease down his nerves. 

“I’m doing okay, did you uhm-- eat yet??” 

Iwaizumi stiffened, taken back a bit at the question but you interrupted him before he could reply. “I-I’m guessing you got back from practice not too long ago right? Assuming you stayed back late and stuff,” you trailed off. Wincing at your own awkwardness. Iwaizumi pinched his forearm and chuckled nervously, “No-uhm you’re right I got back a couple of hours ago. And yeah, I ate already. Did you?” He asked back, You shook your head, “no not yet. Been busy reviewing and all that stuff” you answered truthfully as you glanced up at your stacks of opened notebooks and coloured highlighters messily spread around all over your desk.

Iwaizumi grunted, his nervousness momentarily washing away as concern came over him. “Y/n, you can’t neglect your health. Cut some fruit up or something” You froze for a second at how stern he sounded just now. Then you realized that this could just be his natural voice and you’re just reading into it too much. Oh god you were starting to overthink again. How did Bokuto and your brother get past their first conversation?

Your silent curses towards the world were cut short when you realized that too many seconds passed and Iwaizumi was still waiting for your reply. Like you do in any unsure situation, you stifled a laugh and nodded while scratching your knee awkwardly, “I will I will.” 

A long line of silence then came through and there were no other words to describe it other than awkward. The faint buzzing of your phone sounded louder than ever. You could hear the wind blowing, the clock ticking, and the way your legs would shuffle against each other as you fidgeted. The silence between you two was long, tense, and uncomfortable. The kind of silence that made people want to die on the inside. You both started to question the situation you were in. You had the same goal, both wanting to learn more about your soulmate. Yet you’re lack of comfort and his lack of confidence made things more nerve wracking than it should be. 

In an attempt to ease the tension, you tried to think of something you could say that would loosen both of you up. A quick little sentence that was casual and good for conversation starters. You thought for a second, trying to recall your favourite movie couples and what words they said to each other during their meet cute. You needed something smooth, simple, but something that could address the situation you were in. It then clicked in your mind, 5 words, 5 syllables (or did it count as 7?) whatever.

 All your time spent watching incredibly dramatic romance movies has led up to this moment. 

“So…” you started in a casual tone.

“I guess we’re soulmates huh?”

The moment those words left your mouth your mind short-circuited and you wanted the ground to swallow you up whole. It definitely sounded way cooler in your head. God what were you thinking? And why did you make it sound like it was a question. stupid. Barely 10 minutes in and you’ve already embarrassed yourself. 

You fell back onto your bed (Akaashi kicked you out of his room) and covered your hand over your mouth and moved your phone away from your face and let out a tiny scream so that Iwa would not be able to hear. Maybe you weren’t as smooth as you thought. However, that didn’t matter anymore. The words had been said and now the embarrassment was eating you up and every single bad scenario you had previously imagined began to cloud your mind. This was it, you’re soulmate definitely thought you were a loser, bye-bye happiness and hello staying sad and single until you fall into your grave.

Your ears perked up when you heard him clear his throat. You sat up, moved your phone closer to your ear as you anticipated his reply.

“Yeah I guess”

Your body tensed up at how unsure and bored he sounded. And you thought this moment couldn’t become anymore embarrassing. You physically felt your soul leave your body the moment he spoke those words in such a bored tone. This is gonna be a moment that would forever haunt you in the years to come.  

Phone calls were neither of you guys’ strong suits and that fact was clearly evident in the way neither of you knew what to say next. While you could handle carrying yourself in real-life conversations, the closeness of someone's voice against your ear and their lack of presence in front of you made things made things more stressful than it should be. Iwaizumi was naturally not much of a talker, he usually let his flamboyant best friend that was joint to his hip take control of conversations. It didn’t help that most people found him rather intimidating and unapproachable.

The silence stretched out for another minute and the longer before you decided to speak up once again. You agreed to call because you wanted to learn more about him, your soulmate, and there was no way you could learn anything about him by just listening to the faint sounds of his breath through your phone. You shook your head and gave yourself a mini pep talk in your head. 

Come on Y/n, pussy up bitch.

“Iwaizumi-kun I’m gonna be honest-”

Iwaizumi's hands that were playing with the cotton material of his sweatpants froze. His voice got stuck in his throat and a part of him became worried. Curse his lack of conversational abilities. He was too lost in second guessing himself while structuring his sentences about what he wanted to say to realize that you were probably waiting for him to say something. Did he already mess things up with his soulmate?

“-I suck at phone calls. Like, I’m terrible at it and I’m honestly really nervous right now because this whole thing is a bit overwhelming but I want to get to know more about you because well, you seem pretty cool” you rambled and were met with silence on the other line. Iwaizumi suddenly felt himself get flustered the moment you said that he was cool. 

You sighed and continued, trying to ease the way your heart was pounding against your chest. “Truthfully I don’t know what to say or what we should talk about, so we can start with the basics, yeah?” You cleared your throat and straightened yourself up as you took a deep breath.

“Hi Iwaizumi-kun, I’m Y/n”

It took a moment for his mind to process the words you said. Basics. Yeah, he was capable of doing that. After taking a deep breathe, one that was meant to give him some sort of encouragement, he replied. You felt chills go up your back as his gruff voice echoing through the speaker;

“Hey, I’m Iwaizumi”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

First real conversations were never easy. A part of you felt like you were back in your first year of junior high when your teacher was forcing you to play ice-breaker games in an attempt to get to know the people in your class. The questions were the usual “what’s your favourite food?”, “when's your birthday?”, etc etc. 

However, instead of getting to know your classmates, the game would usually just result in everyone staring at one another as they waited for someone to speak up. An awkward tension cutting into the classroom as everyone simultaneously realizes that everyone was kinda lame and boring and that they don’t really wanna get to know the people who sat beside them. 

You hoped that wouldn’t be the case with Iwaizumi. You’ve known you’d had a soulmate since middle school. Since then, you’ve always fantasized about your meet-cute. You’ve watched many romantic movies and read more than enough manga to fuel your brain with endless cute imaginations and ideas. 

But alas, the reality of the world is that cute scenarios are simply meant to live in fictional stories. Akaashi had even told you that you needed to humble down your expectations to save yourself from disappointment in the future. 

The first couple words exchanged in your conversation weren’t poetic words of love confessions and sweet nothings. They were typical, short common questions that people generally use to learn more about each other. The expected “when’s your birthday?” and “what do you do in your free time?”

You learned about how his birthday was during June, his favourite colour was dark green, he liked agedashi tofu, and how he spent his free time doing some sort of exercise or physical activity. Iwaizumi was also relatively quiet, truth be told you did most of the talking while he said quiet words to let you know that he was still listening. Along with being quiet, he was private. A direct contrast to you. You were an open book, your mouth moved faster than your mind and you had not much of a problem telling him about little details about yourself.

Iwaizumi on the other hand was selective on what he wanted to tell you. Iwaizumi was simple. A down to earth guy who had his own little sense of edginess to him. He was levelheaded and was someone who strived for realistic goals rather than unreasonable daydreams. You caught that when he simply answered that his goal right right now was to attend nationals with his best friend. When you asked if he had further goals, he simply said that everything else was too far into the future and was out of his reach. You could also tell that even though he used names such as “piece of trash” and “shittykawa” to describe his said best friend, he cared for him in his own way. 

Iwaizumi always had a feeling that his soulmate would be the more talkative one out of the two of them. He wasn’t reserved per se, just wasn’t one to ramble over things when deemed unnecessary. You on the other hand could talk for hours. Just from listening to your speaking patterns and tone of voice, you were bright and confident. You found ways to stray away from the original topic and talk about something completely different. On top of learning about your birthday, favourite food, colour, and basically everything he told you, he also somehow learned about your allergy to raspberries, your admiration for early 2000s movies, how you had a dog who you also considered like another brother, and now he was listening to you retell a story about how you got into baking and cooking.

You were carefree once you became comfortable. Your voice was captivating, one that made people always pay attention to whatever you were saying. He listened intently as you went on about your story, he hummed here and there to indicate that he was listening and nodded along even though he knew you wouldn’t see. 

A part of him felt relieved to hear you speak so freely. While you never directly came to him, he could tell from your Twitter rants that you were going through a lot of stress from school. Iwaizumi may have only met you formally recently, but he’s listened to your taste in music long enough to have an idea about how the songs you were playing indicated your moods. You had been playing such gloomy music during the past couple of weeks but he was still too nervous and felt like he was overstepping a line if he became too upfront and told you to tell him what’s wrong.

Yeah, you were soulmates, but you technically didn’t know him just like how he didn’t know you. 

Nonetheless, a part of him felt relieved at hearing the genuine excitement in your voice because he knew that at this very moment, you were feeling okay.

“-and that’s how I baked a cake to persuade my brother into not telling our Mom that we sneaked out to the convenience store at 4 am,” you said cheerfully as you recalled the memory. You had switched from sitting at your bed to now sitting on your chair and leaning your upper body onto your desk. You moved your word out of the way and had your elbows propped up on the surface of your desk, your head leaning onto your phone in your hands. A part of you felt giddy when you heard the faintest chuckle come from the other end of the line. 

The awkward tension between you two was fizzling out and you no longer felt as nervous as you did in the beginning. You were slowly and surely becoming a bit more comfortable with his presence. Truthfully, Iwaizumi still felt a bit awkward. Not that he minded you talking a lot, he just didn’t know what to say and was worried that you found him boring like how Oikawa said he was. 

He really was trying. It just wasn’t in his character to be so open about himself.

“Y/n, you know how dangerous that could've been?”

“Shh, my brother was practically a giant back when we were in junior high so he was enough to scare any creeps away. Plus, I already knew then that the elbow is the strongest point in the body so I would’ve been able to fight any sort of dangerous threat!” you exclaimed. “That is not a good excuse,” he replied in an unamused tone. 

You huffed, “At least I know something about self-defence” you attempted to reason. You only heard Iwaizumi reply with a simple ‘tched’ which made you laugh.

It was then that you looked onto the clock at the corner of your desk and realized how late it was and it was also then that you remembered that you still had some notes that you wanted to write up before you went to bed. Curse University prep. You were so lost in your conversation with the boy that time slipped past your mind along with your other responsibilities. Just when you two had started getting into a comfortable rhythm too. You sighed sadly which immediately caught Iwaizumi’s attention. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. You shook your head and removed your phone from your ear and pressed the speaker button on your phone screen. You placed your phone on your desk and stood up to organize the notebooks you had pushed aside on your desk. “Nothing bad, just remembered I had a couple more notes I wanted to finish up before bed,” you said with a hint of sadness in your voice. You wanted to continue your conversation with him and you really weren’t in the mindset to review your nutrition notes right now.

Iwaizumi paused to take a moment to look up at his wall clock and realized that it was nearing midnight. Iwaizumi felt a twinge of guilt inside of him when he realized that he kept you up so late. This was even past his own scheduled bedtime. 

“I didn’t mean to keep you up so late, my bad” he apologized. You stifled a laugh as a tired smile spread on your lips. “It’s not your fault. Something tells me that you’re the type of person who sleeps early so I should be apologizing for keeping you up” you replied. 

You suddenly yawned and stretched your arms over your head, “I’m gonna finish up and call in for the night. You should get some rest Iwaizumi-”

“Go to bed” You flinched slightly at how serious his voice got. 

“It’s late, you can finish up your notes tomorrow. Studying when you’re tired isn’t healthy. Get some sleep so you won’t feel extra tired and groggy tomorrow morning. If you’re gonna stay up, at least go and make yourself something to eat for tomorrow so you feel energized” 

You smiled tiredly, “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you Iwaizumi-kun. Oh and thank you for tonight, I enjoyed talking to you and I hope we can do this again” you shyly suggested. You closed your eyes as you clutched the material of your sweater to your chest as you waited for his answer. Iwaizumi felt a sense of relief rush into him knowing that you enjoyed talking to him. A sense of his self doubt momentarily washing away. You didn’t hear a reply for a moment and it worried you that you might’ve said the wrong thing. But a couple of moments passed before you heard a faint “Me too”

You moved your hand to hover over the red call button on your screen,

“Goodnight Iwaizumi-kun, sleep well”

“You too, Y/n”

The ‘beep’ from your phone indicating the call had ended echoed through your room. You stared at your phone for a moment as it dawned on you that you just had your first real conversation with your soulmate. And yeah it wasn’t the large extravagant straight-out-of-movie scene you had always envisioned but that didn’t matter. What mattered now was that you had talked to your soulmate and you knew a little bit more about him and he knew a little bit more about you. 

It was a start.

You yawned and stretched your arms up over your head once again and sighed in relief when you felt your back crack. Your arms dropped to your side and you frowned as your eyes looked down at your notebooks that you had now neatly stacked in your hands. You realized that you were far too tired to even open up your textbooks, let alone finish a couple pages of notes.

Thinking back to what Iwaizumi said, you could always tune in early for the night and finish everything up tomorrow in the library. Plus, waking up to something to energizing to eat didn’t sound so bad. It wasn’t going to take long and you figured you had a bit more energy left to cut up some fruit before surrendering yourself to sleep.

Content with your decision you turned around and made your way towards your door. However, just as you were about to step out you heard three buzzes from your phone come back to back. Curiously, you walked back towards your desk and leaned down to read the message:

“Hey, if you need someone to study with then let me know and we can facetime and I can keep you company. If you want to of course. No pressure if you’re not up for it”

“Oh and grapefruits are really good to have the morning by the way, they’re refreshing”

“rest well.”

a/n: hello! This chapter is very long overdue and I’m really sorry about that. I’m not gonna go into it but just know that this series is back and I hope to keep a steady flow of updates going :)

I struggled a lot with writing this chapter partly because I myself am terrible at phone calls but I hope this gives an insight to difference between Iwa and Yn!

I will be opening up taglist for any of my newer readers who would like to keep up with the updates of “on track!” Feel free to comment or send me a message : ) Regarding my current taglist, it’s been months and I’ve noticed a lot of people changed their @s so I tried to find everyone who changed their users. If I accidentally tagged you and you weren’t on my list let me know + inform me if i also missed you. If you no longer want to be added, then please let me know if you would like to be removed from the taglist. Thank you all so much for your patience and feel free to let me know about your thoughts down below :)

++ I just want to clarify iwaizumi’s initial care for Y/n’s well-being isn’t meant to be interpreted as “omg he’s falling for her already” and should be seen as just someone who cares about his soulmate and wants them to be healthy. He knows that YN is his soulmate and cares about her because of that. But it’s more of a platonic care at the moment. They’re soulmates, yes, but he’s not in love with her and Y/n is not in love with him (yet at least) ya gets?

yeah i’m just a fan of slow burn

I just wanted to say that just because I’m not confident in the way I wrote him 😅 thank you so much again for reading!

-

taglist! [OPEN; comment or send an ask to be added!]

 @aircorumble @bunnyuuji-archive @cloudsvna @donteathecake @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @sunabrainrot  @tadashi-simp @agaashesmilktea @sbaepsae @vicassa @akaashikeijisthighs @mariachiii @ayocee @starsinthepavement @cece-lives-here @elianetsantana @gxrleexis-arctic-monks @ssaihanuweol @sazunari​ @kenmacorps​ @simping-for-tendou​ @intoomuchfandoms​ @vxnna​ @froyopet​ @komouri​ @idek-at-thispoint​ @volexis​ @insomniish @amberisnotcrazy @maramalademadara​ @faewraithsworld​ @mjoork​ @mindofess​ @dreamstormings​ @h0ngh0ngh0ng​ @keekee-732​ @daewengol​ @amessypan​ @applekenm​ @ptv-hades​ @killlerqween​ @bakusquadz​ @bbymilkbread​ @bbyhaji​ @sophie-duck​ @marissaraeblr​ @kellesvt​

tags continue in comments w/ my main🤍

[kanene-yaaay]

Go to Sleep

Kanene’s note: Gosh, having a schedule is weird. I just wanna post everything I already wrote and ramble non stop about it asdfgtyujkigfdo. XD

Well, this was suppose to be a drabble, but it’s very long so sdftyujikgfred. I hope you like it!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to Thomas Sanders from the serie Sanders Sides.

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic. If you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!! ^w^)b

* This is Lee!Virgil with Ler!Roman. Around 1.500 words.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Listen a bit to the birds today. Changing the way you think is not a bad thing. Drink water, sleep, eat and love!

[~*~]

Roman growled, missing by a few inches the button of his thunderous, infuriating alarm before finally hitting it. Staring and blinking lazily at the numbers his brain struggled to discern and recognize, only to confirm it was really time to wake up and start the day. He grabbed his pillow and squeezed it with all the strength he could muster, rolling from one side to other on the mattress, trying to wake up his body as quick as his mind and almost falling from the bed a reasonable number of times during the process.

 He got up, yawing, stretching and humming as the first lyrics of the day stuck on his head, hand rubbing at his eyes as he followed the kitchen’s direction with slow steps and tired sways on the beat of the song.

 Two dark, wide eyes stared right back at him, their owner completely frozen on the spot with his hand inside the cabinet, probably already holding some sort of a snack. Roman also stopped mid-step, gears running inside his mind, gaze locked on the other, his brow progressively furrowing.

“Virgil,” he began, voice slightly hoarse “What the heckty heck are you doing up? It’s barely seven in the morning!” Virgil only stared back, slowly closing the cabinet’s door, as if afraid the movement would startle the other. Roman proceeded to get some eggs and other cold ingredients from the refrigerator for the breakfast, his words growing more awake and vivid as they spilled with no filter or whatsoever from his lips. “You got an early shift again or something? Those are absolutely hellish. A bunch of people exhausted, tired and glaring at you as if you are the holder of all their problems and their solutions can only be achieved by being insufferable pieces of- Urg. I can’t believe they would give you one right after you got the night one. Damn, I didn’t even see you arriving here yesterday!”

 He turned his attention back at the other, looking for a kind of frustration in the place of the still startled, wide gaze which continued to be directed at him. Virgil nodded slowly, stepping away and putting some physical distance between him and the confusion on Roman’s features.

 Then, between the strings of sleepiness that clouded his brain, it clicked.

 Suddenly more details on the other’s behavior started to become clearer: the way Virgil’s hair was messier than his usual ““style”” (Roman scoffed mentally, thinking that if he rolled his eyes any harder they would never come back to his normal place again), his wary, yes, but way too much slow movements, the way he seemed to be unable to stop blinking at every millisecond and, above it all, the final piece of the puzzle.

 Virgil wasn’t wearing his pajamas.

 “YOU DIDN’T!” Roman gasped, as if Virgil’s life choices were a personal attack. “YOU DIDN’T GET ANY SLEEP LAST NIGHT!!” A turn of heels and he was again fixating his glare on the other, his free hand accusingly pointing in his direction, receiving an annoyed hiss as immediate answer.

 “Shut up!” Virgil snarled, practically growling back at him. “It’s fucking seven am don’t be so freaking loud.”

 “Don’t change the subject! Why didn’t you go to sleep?”

 The one being questioned just snorted, half amused. “Bold of you to assume I’d ever sleep in my whole life.”

 “That is it.” Virgil didn’t even have the time to wonder the meaning of his friend’s sentence before the aforementioned picked him up, resulting to a not very contained shriek escaping from his lips and his hands not much gracefully – or gently, although since they were keen on just jumping on each other out of nowhere to play fight Princey would be fine - meeting his friend’s face.

 “Roman! What the he-”

 “Did you just SLAP me? My beautiful face?! Before my own beautiful eyes??” Virgil Storm always got, even if he would never admit this out loud, surprised with Roman’s capacity of doing a series of offended incoherent noises which evolved to words before being carefully metamorphosed in weird noises all over again, and in the end still managing to form comprehensible sentences. His surprise did nothing to quell the grumpy snark immediately flying from lips, though.

 “And I’m going to do it again if you don’t let me go in this exact instant.”

 “You go and try to help and that is the acknowledgement you get,” The one wearing pajamas with little crows printed on it huffed, mumbling in a lower tone as he noticed the sharp gaze being thrown in his direction. “fucking unbelievable.”

 “I still can hear you, Princey. You’re literally carrying me.”

 “I sTiLL cAn HeAr yOu-OW! Ow! Ow!” The sentence was interrupted when the sleep deprived one punched Roman’s shoulder. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

 “Let me fucking gAAH!” In a way his wish was granted, one could say as they watched his protest being cut as Storm was impolitely tossed on his bed, Roman quickly following his friend on the mattress, arms hugging him from behind, and physically preventing him from escaping his current soft predicament. “Prince, you’re dead.”

 “Shhh, no talking. We’re sleeping.”

 “We are not. You are being a pain in ass and I am about to defenestrate you.” Despite his fervent protests, his sharp, flaming glare began to lose its heat, his body not doing any actual effort to free himself from the other’s – strong, good - grip, muscles starting to relax against the great warmth involving him in a comfortable and secure blanket.

 “Sure, sure, mister Grumpy Pants, you can do that when you wake up.” He tightened a bit his hold around Virgil, yet being the most careful as possible, actively ignoring the annoyed hiss his friend gave him. His hoodie was really fluffy at the touch, slightly remembering his stuffed animals he frequently hugged to sleep.

 For a moment, everything was pleasantly quiet. The one with smudged makeup, since he hadn’t time to get it off before being trapped by his roommate and best friend, felt the tiredness becoming sleepiness as the seconds went by.

 …That was until an electric sensation shot across his spine, leading him to almost jump in the same place 

 “S-stop nuzzling me!”

 “Hm? Oh sorry.” Virgil pressed his lips tightly closed, preventing the wobbly giggles to escape as Roman speaks, not realizing how close his mouth was from the base of his neck, every breath sending tickly shocks across every nerve. “You’re just too much sooooft.”

 Roman opened an eye when realized that no snark remark from the other followed his words, the figure in his arms shaking too much to be asleep. A frown painted his feature as he readjusted the position of his hands, trying to get a bit more of balance to look at Virgil’s face when suddenly a high-pitched yelp escaped, cutting the air and immediately catching their attention.

 “Did you just squeal?” He questioned as his glare assumed a playful shine seeing a blush spread on his now frozen friend.

 “It was NOT a squeal! It was a yelp.” Virgil’s words came so fast that they almost tripped on themselves. Roman snorted, a smile taking over his face. “Get off me!” and, in the moment the one wearing a hoodie tried to pry his hand from the spot on his right side where it was resting, the pieces finally clicked in the right place and his smile quickly submerged, giving space to a smirk.

 ‘No WAY Doctor Doom and Gloom is ticklish!’

 However, the red lover only blinked as the true personification of innocence and naiveness, his hand firm in its place, fingers starting to slowly move, light pokes being delivered on the sensitive skin. “But why that, Knight Mare? It’s cold and all I could ever want is just to hug my bestest friend!”

 “You already hugged me, now go aWAY!” His voice trembled in the last second, the exact moment his thumb experimentally scratched the spot right under the lowest ribs, leading a surprised squeak to leave Virgil’s mouth.

 They both stared at each other, gleaming, filling their wide eyes.

 “No.” Virgil said, trying to squirm away but finding himself stuck between Prince and the wall. Roman didn’t even attempt to hide his smug grin, anymore. This was going to be so much fun

 “Don’t you dare! Don’t you freaking dare!!” His friend only laid down again, now carefully, yet firmly, pulling him one more time against his chest, growling playfully. Years and years fighting for the Tickle Monster title on his family, battles and battles against Remus only sharpening his skills, which showed by the way his fingers seemed to find every single weak spot on Virgil’s skin, wiggles, scribbles, pokes and scratching exploring everywhere. “No! Nononono! You fucker, you moron, you bitch, you-” A few chuckles cut his curses as he one wearing pajamas squeezed his side a couple of times, the tip of his fingers also teasing his ticklish stomach. “Roman!!”

 “No, no, my so dear, so ticklish, friend. Roman is no longer here, this is…” He paused for a dramatic effect, basically beaming at the giggly giggles and wiggly wiggles from the other. He shoved his face on his neck, the next words vibrating almost as bad as the spidering on his ribs. “The Tickle Monster!!”

[lymmsweb]

Hello, I don't know if you watch Jujutsu Kaisen and if you don't, please ignore this. If so then, can you write a scenarios for Fushiguro Megumi (cause I am a simp for this man) comforting his s/o who lost his elder sister from a curse which leads her to join the Jujutsu Tech High to seek revenge (she is powerful because they did said that the more negative energy you got, the more curse energy you will have) but felt deeply hurt and alone for her sister death. I do hope this wasn't too much. Thank you for reading!

I love him so much too! And i do write for jjk, I’ve written for Megumi in the past. I turned this into hcs since I’m dumb enough to not know what the fuck scenarios are, but if you wanted a fic or something like that, request me again and I’d be more than happy to turn it into a something like that <3

Also I’m so sorry that this has taken me almost 2 weeks to get to :(

Megumi Fushiguro comforting his gn!s/o who lost their sister, and feels lonely headcanons

⚠️Very minor spoilers i think, like with Itadori ‘dying’ in ep 5⚠️

Tw: Mentions of Death/Loss of a family member

Don’t worry about waking him up, he doesn’t mind you waking him up when you need some affection

When you came to him in his room, holding back tears he immediately rushed to your side and pulling you into an embrace.

He’d drag you onto his bed, and ask you if you wanted to hug him or just hold his hand. All he wants is just for you to be comfortable.

Hugging him:

(scroll down to see an alternate scene where he would hold your hand, just incase you don’t like hugs)

You two would be in the posting when you’re in his lap, facing him. It’s easier to hug you in that way

He’d hug you gently and play with your hair, probably a tear or two down his cheek because of how much it hurt him to see you in pain. Although you probably wouldn't notice it.

He honestly doesn’t mind you crying on him, he’d just whisper how much he loves you and how grateful he is

As you explain to him about your dead sister, he remembers you vaguely mentioning her. How the memories of you and her crossed your mind almost each day.

He’d just let you talk, even if you start rambling, or if you just say incoherent words, he’ll let you.

Your hatred for curses, was unmatchable. You were able to protect yourself and protect the others with ease. You just simply held no mercy for curses. Always working hard just so nobody else gets taken away from you, even Gojo would be worried about you at times.

Megumi has always seen you ruthlessly kill (or exorcise idk) any curse that came your way. He never questioned you, because when ever he brung it up, you’d manage to avoid the question.

When you explained to him that you were hurt & lonely due to her death, he felt a bit disappointed in himself. Feeling hurt after death was normal, being a bit lonely too was okay. But as your boyfriend, he was supposed to pick up on the subtle clues, he was mad at himself for not realising that you were in pain.

After you calmed down, to a point where he felt it was his place to talk, he would ask questions about your sister. What her eyes looked like. What her hair was like. What she would do in her free time. He would try to paint a picture of her in his head, if she looked anything like you, she would be gorgeous.

If those memories make you sad to remember, he wouldn't push you to describe her.

Although he would force you to sleep with him that night (not sex, but like actual sleeping), just so he could whisper to you how much he loves you and that is normal to feel those emotions.

Holding his hand

When you expressed that you were uncomfortable with hugging him in the state that you were in, he'd respect your boundaries, just holding your hand and rubbing it softly. He would keep his eye contact with you, just so you know that he isn't about to disappear.

As you would explain why you join Jujutsu Tech, because you wanted revenge, after all, they were the ones who took your sister away from you. As much as he sympathised with you he also felt pity for all the curses you killed (or exorcised idk okay, I didn't pay attention to the terminology), it must have been a painful death. The hurt in your watery eyes pained him.

He would squeeze your hand gently when you said that you felt lonely, losing a family member is hard, after all he did lose Itadori once. If the death of his friend broke him that much, he just couldn’t fathom how much you would be hurting at the moment.

He would do the same as the hugging scene, he would ask about your sister. Asking about her appearance and your favourite memories with her. If you didn't feel like describing her at the moment, he would suggest sketching her, it doesn't even matter if you were horrible at drawing. He would draw Itadori when he was mourning for him, he's a horrible artist but nonetheless that was his way of coping. It also helped him remember his face, because he would try to get all his details down.

Megumi would ask if you wanted to sleep with him (again it’s not sex, like actual sleeping).

If you decline him on his offer you bet believe when you get back to him room, he’d be trying ti comfort you through text. But he wouldn’t be good with his words, atleast that in itself might make you.

If you said yes, he would let you chose which position you wanted to be in, and asking you where you felt comfortable with him touching you.

A/N : I downloaded Grammarly half way through this because it was 5 am(it’s now 6am), and it works- who ever made this app free thank you so much

As I’ve said it’s 6am, sorry if there are any mistakes :(

[thelastlynx]

Hello !! This is for the fic writer asks. It's a bit much, but anyway...

2,3,4,5,7,11,15

Don't feel obligated to answer though !!

Also how goes the writing of Seven year witch ?

Hello, my dear! How are you doing? Thanks for the asks; I love the opportunity for incoherent ramblings 😝

2. What's the most overrated thing you've written?

Hm... Sh-Shopping Spree, probably? It's my second most popular fic, even though I'm not too happy about the writing (which, given it was only my second foray into creative writing ever, isn't too surprising). I have to say though, as a pretty unknown writer with not much reach, I'm not sure any of my works qualify for being called "overrated" 😅

3. Something you wish a commenter had called attention to, but got ignored.

Can't think of anything at the moment... I remember reading a very well written fic once-- but then the author used affect/effect wrong. I didn't want to say anything for fear they would take it wrong, but that's the type of mistake I hope my commenters will help me avoid! So if you, while reading my stuff, had a similar experience -- please tell me!

4. Something a commenter did point out that you wish they hadn't.

A commenter once accused me of racism in a Harry/Ginny/Blaise PWP. This was quite frustrating for two reasons: a) I'm an IPOC myself, and not that that makes you immune to racist actions or language, but it was just an added reason why b) I took great care not to repeat or invoke racist stereotypes or fetishise Blaise in any way.

I explained my reasoning to the commenter, and how the text -- at least in my mind -- did not reflect what they had accused me of. Unfortunately, they never got back to me. I still wonder sometimes if the issue has been, indeed, resolved, or if I could have improved, or if it was a non-issue to begin with.

5. Something you hate to see in smut.

I dislike reading a weak Hermione in Dramione smut, so all related kinks - A/O, Dd/Lg, etc. - usually make me x out if they catch me unawares. It's quite odd because there are other Hermione-centric pairings where I do enjoy those from time to time.

7. Something you hate to see in dialogue.

Some Draco/Hermione convo elements and physical descriptors suffer from being overused, I have a hard time seeing past the cliche at this point. Number one on the list: "He smirked."

11. What "don't ever do this" writing rule are you guilty of constantly breaking?

I'm honestly not a good enough writer to know which crimes against the writing gods I'm committing on a regular basis. Maybe @o0sarena0o would like to chip in?

15. We all project onto our characters. Where has your personality or life choices leaked onto the page the most?

Quite honestly the decision to leave the Romione ship in favour of Dramione is probably where my life experiences have affected my writing and shipping choices most profoundly.

As a woman in academia, you realise really quickly that "the funny guy" you loved at school but who "tolerates" rather than appreciates your brainy quirks is not boyfriend material. I've seen so many women break up with their childhood sweethearts once they started valuing their talents and stopped putting the guy's insecurities above their own happiness.

Aside from that, I've been with a guy whose conflicts and inner demons were very similar to Draco's. So a lot of my insights into (my version of) Draco come from being with and loving that person.

BONUS: The Seven Year Witch Status Update - How is it going?

It's going OK, thank you for your continued interest! 🥰 First draft is growing longer and longer (which I might have said already haha). But I'm finally at a point where I don't hate it anymore.

I find Draco and Hermione’s final exchange super hard to write; I'm anxious about it being either too cliched or too cheesy or too insincere. Anyway. I think I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your fingers crossed for a soon-ish multi-chaptered finish!

[drethanramslay]

Gone with the wind

Pairing: Rafael x MC( Addison Jones)

Word count: 1.5 K words (this is a short one, I'm sorry)

masterlist 

Taglist: @miyakokurono​ @trappedinfandoms​ @openheart12​ @sekizincimektup​ @x-kyne-x​ @paulfwesley​ @zeniamiii​ @an-urban-witch-ig​ @ramseyegerton​ @noboundariesplease​ @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey​ @newcolonies​ @theodorepjames4​ @unluckygs​ @choices-love-affair​ @kaavyaethanramsey​  @caseyvalentineramsey​ @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq​  @junehiratas​ @lilyvalentine​ @nooruleman​  @agent-breakdance​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @choicesfanaf​ @temptress-of-death-and-desire @ac27dj @oofchoices @mrsdrakewalkerblog @livingpurpose @humanpokemon @chaotic-ramsay-queen​ @oofchoices​ @ohramsey​(let me know if you want to added or removed froth tag list)

Warning: angst and swearing and im apologising before hand if there are any mistakes. its 2 am in the night so :P

Songs: Don't leave by MØ and Before you go by Lewis Capaldi

It had been an eventful day.

From seeing Kyra collapse in her pool of blood, to spoon-feeding Elijah's intern, to having a wild cat and mouse chase in Mass Kenmore it was crazy indeed. Addison has had five heart attacks and six meltdowns in just a span of 12 hours which left her tired physically and mentally.

But you got to see Rafael for like five minutes, so that's a good thing right? he inner ever-optimistic conscience pointed out which made her smile.

Even though they chose to remain friends, anybody within a five mile radius could sense the palpable tension between the two. The lingering gazes, the long hugs and the occasional kisses on the forehead spoke volumes.

Addison fucking knew that he wasn't happy with Sora.

Hell since the time she knew that Addison was his ex, the fights have started increasing in frequency. Initially, Sora would hang out with the group and during those times, when Raf wasn't looking her way, the death glares that were sent her way, left Addy feeling uneasy.

And that was just the beginning.

There were times when she would shout at Rafael incoherently and the sweetheart that Raf is, would listen to her 'concerns' and try different ways to make her happy. Be it by taking her out on cute dates or by showering her with cute presents or swooning surprises. Addy wasn't even aware about this entire fiasco because they pretended to be couple goals. She only got to know when they had gone out fo beers on the nights of the softball game.

He is such a good actor... Addy thought to herself as she entered the lift and pressed the fifth floor, comfortable in the blue scrubs.

The patient poaching was a wild ride in Mass Kenmore and it was overwhelming. Addy had still not come down from her high, the lingering effects of adrenaline making her restless. Ethan tricking Tobias, Baz imitating Zaid and the run in with Aurora was too much.

I swear I need to have one bottle of wine asap. Addy thought has her shoulders ached, a knot forming due to the excessive stress.

She entered room 532 to see Bryce sitting by Kyra, holding her hand and giving her a reassuring smile.

"Hey there K-bear. Gave me quite a scare this morning, huh?" Addy sat by her side and pulled her frail body into a long bear hug.

"Hey Big A. I heard the you had quite the Fast and Furious chase scene today, huh?" Kyra said with a weak smile.

"You wouldn't even believe it Kyra! It was so exhilarating and equal parts terrifying."

"Give me all the deets but before that.." Kyra glanced at Bryce and he gave another encouraging nod. "I'm sorry for being a her to you Addy."

Addison stopped her before she got sucked into the whirlpool of guilt. "No, don't be. I rather you vent all your anger out on me if, its giving you the courage to keep fighting." Kyra gave a huge smile and hugged Addy again. Addy's eyes fell on Bryce. "So Bryce, have you thought of the treatment plan?"

"Yes. So we are gonna do an extensive surgery.." For the next fifteen minutes, Bryce explained the complete plan for the surgery along with the pros and cons, and Addy listened to him with rapt attention.

"So what do you think Big A? Do you think this is a good plan?" Kyra asked with puppy eyes.

"Kyra, if Bryce said its a good idea, I have complete faith in him. You couldn't have had a better surgeon on your side." Bryce gave a grateful smile.

"Thanks Big A. You are the best."

Witnessing the exchange between Kyra spoke up with a mischievous smile. "You know, I remember when you two were clueless little interns fighting over who got to treat me."

"Clueless?!" Addison eyes bugged out.

"Little?!" Bryce clutched his chest out of horror.

Ignoring the offended looks Kyra smiled. "I'm glad that I have you both on my side." Addy gave a soft smile and reached to squeeze her hand, Bryce following suit.

"We aren't going anywhere." Bryce spoke. Addison looked up and she saw Rafael standing outside with his hands stuffed into his pockets. Their eyes met and Addy's heartbeat spiked up.

Bidding goodbye, she headed out and closed the door softly behind her.

"Hey Addy." Rafael spoke with a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He opened his arms and Addison walked into the warm embrace. She breathed in his minty cologne and suddenly all the distress of the day washed away.

He is like healing salve to my wounds.

"Hey Raf." She said as she stepped back to look at him.

"How is she doing?" Rafael asked as he waved at her. Kyra waved back enthusiastically.

"She is doing as fine as she can."

"Aren't we all?" Raf said as he looked down at her.

The memory of their previous encounter entered her head and she remembered. "What did you wanna talk about, superman?"

Raf's eyes averted and suddenly found interest in staring at his sneakers.

"No its nothing-" Raf began but Addy, turned him towards her, so that his brown orbs could meet her turquoise ones.

"Raf... I know that look. Its the look which you have when I caught you eating my M&M stash. Tell me, whats wrong?"

"I- I am leaving town."

Addison took a sharp intake of breathe. Panic started churning in her chest as she tried to calm herself. "How long?"

Silence followed which in itself, gave an answer to her.

"Rafael fucking answer me! How long will you be gone?!" Addy's eyes were tearing up and Rafael dragged her into the near by supply closet.

"Don't fucking touch me until you answer my damn question." She exclaimed.

"I..I don't know." Rafael stammered out.

Addison eyes widened and she immediately started rambling. "Where are you going? I am getting an off for the next three days. We could go together and chill and enjoy. You don't need to-"

Rafael gripped her shoulders stopping her. "Addison, I bought a one way ticket."

Do you ever feel trapped or frozen as you see the entire basis of your reality fall apart? That sheer hopelessness and the need to fix it, but you can't?

That's how Addison felt.

"No... Rafael you can't do this! Your friends, your girlfriend, your grandma and your job, is all here!! Boston is your life and you have always wanted to stay here and serve the community-"

"I want a change in pace, can you blame me?" Rafael said crossing his arms, his jaw clenching .

Addison's eyes blazed, the turquoise eyes, turning icy. She looked up at his towering height and poked his chest. "Don't for a moment think that I am going to fucking believe that sorry excuse Rafael Aveiro. I have dated you for seven fucking months and I know you inside out. You may forget or lie to yourself about us, but I damn well know you."

"So look me in the eyes and tell me the fucking truth."

"How can I tell you the truth when you are part of the reason I am leaving?" Rafael said through clenched teeth.

Addy was shocked and speechless. "Me? What the fuck did I do?I literally have been the most supportive person-" she managed to choke out before she was interrupted by him.

"Can't you fucking see it Addison?! I have a fucking girlfriend but I am still, like a fucking idiot, completely and utterly in love with you?! Everyday is a fucking tug of war between you and Sora and its ripping me in shreds. I am loosing all my sanity and to top this, I don't have a fucking job to go where I can just forget everything. I am fucking tired and I need room to breathe."

I am completely and utterly in love with you... That love confession was the best thing she had ever heard, but also like a slap on the face.

"Oh."

"Yes 'oh'. So that's why I have decided that I am going to yeet myself out of this hellish situation and start afresh." Raf said with so much determination that it felt like a stab in the heart.

"Rafael you don't need to do that, please. I'm begging you." Addison pleaded, tears streaming down her face. "You are the only good in this entire city. I- I will cease all contact with you until you get your head straight, as much as it hurts you. But please, please don't leave the city. I need you Raf."

"Addison, if I stay here... I-I can't last another day." He said painfully.

A violent sob shuddered through Addison and Rafael's eyes softened. He wrapped his arms around her as cries racked through her entire body. "I'm so sorry sweetheart... You don't deserve this shit I put you through..."

"Raf..."

"I know that I am leaving now. But if I do come back, be it one month or a day, I promise you that I will make you mine... that is if you still want me." he said, his voice cracking as he ran a hand through her blonde hair.

The embrace got over as soon as it started. She stepped back and cupped his cheek and smiled through her tears. "Rafael... there won't be a single day when I can ever stop loving you. I promise that."

"Me too sweetheart... me too."

[sleepycatspirit]

hi do you think you could post the thing dream posted if it's not too much trouble? i don't have twitter :')

Sure no problem!

Here’s a link to the twitter post: https://twitter.com/dreamwastaken/status/1388424355298914305?s=21

and here’s the a link to the actual pastebin: https://pastebin.com/6dk8n5Sg

under the cut is the whole pastebin for anyone who doesn’t want to click the link

Every single person on earth is uneducated before they’re educated. That’s how educating exists. You had to be taught to be gentle with animals when you were a kid, and be taught what words were hurtful and what words weren’t, and be taught manners and how to treat people with respect. The important thing is a willingness to learn.

These things seem so obvious, but they’re obvious because you were educated. Some things that aren’t this normalized are much less obvious when coming from a perspective of ignorance. Parenting and schooling hasn’t adjusted to today’s climate, and that’s because of the internet. It’s much easier to be educated with the internet because you can read about and understand experiences and cultures and perspectives that in the past you might not have ever been able to. Without the internet bringing people from all over the world together to understand each other and love each other.

Mistakes that you make now are documented forever on the internet, and things that in the past before the internet would have been learning experiences can now very quickly spiral into something much bigger. I think that this is a good thing in a lot of ways as the world will hopefully slowly become a much less bigoted and ignorant place, and people who’s voices never would have been heard can scream louder than ever before and can’t be ignored. People talk about how much the internet has changed even in just the last 5 years, and that’s completely true, and in amazing ways. The world is far more accepting than it ever has been, and that’s amazing. It’s also far more educated now than it ever has been, and that’s also amazing.

However, so much of the result of education hinges on words. Apologies, how they were said, when they were said, what was said in them. Some people are bad with words, some people are great with words. Some people have anxiety, some people are afraid of expressing their feelings or screwing up or saying the wrong thing. Some people have a forked tongue and can slither through anything and everything just by talking. Some people don’t talk much, others seem like talking is their number one talent. Some people are comfortable sharing their entire lives with anyone, and others not even with their closest friends.

Some people are still bigoted even though they put on a front of kindness, others are still kind even though they may come across as spiteful. Most good people have done hateful things, and most hateful people have done good things. Hateful actions should be shamed and good actions should be acknowledged. Hateful people should be educated, just as loving people should be.

At the end of the day, words aren’t what help you decide if a person is good or not though, nor are there only two options, there’s millions in between. Words can be helpful, words can be reassuring, words can be insightful, and words can be necessary, but at the end of the day, remember that not everyone is as good with words as others. Don’t be manipulated by a forked tongue, but also don’t confuse a normal one for a forked one because of a stutter. (just an analogy)

Spread love and positivity, hold those accountable that need to be held accountable, educate those that are ignorant, don’t be a bystander to bigotry or hatred, and don’t let anyone tell you that your personal feelings aren’t valid because they are. However, love, forgiveness, growth, and acceptance are some of the most under appreciated things we have.

I love, accept, and appreciate all of you and I hope you have an amazing night. This isn’t commentary on any specific issue at all, or any person whatsoever, just something on my mind the last few months that I decided to put into words randomly laying in bed. thank you to anyone who decided to read my probably incoherent rambling at 5am I appreciate u and thank u

much love, dream

[emptynarration]

The angels accuse the god Author of being useless, and not caring about them. He's their creator, and he loves them all. He created them with the right to make their own judgements. If they decide to disgrace him, let him fall, he will let them.

They come to realize what a mistake they made.

~

the god au no one’s interested in got a second drabble/chapter

go read it. leave a comment. reblog this.

~

They had sorely underestimated what Author all had done for them, what amount of work he actually had. Dark got the brunt if it, since he was the main reason as to why they had disgraced Author in the first place. Though Edward was also having quite some troubles, since he was basically in charge of the humans. There was a lot of work that Dark, and many others, had taken for granted. Maybe they hadn't realized it was Author doing all of these little things though.

Dark, as Caretaker of the Dead and Souls, had a lot of work to do. Every person dying had to be sorted where they were going after their death. He had “files” for every dead and dying person, to read up on their life and such, to make his decision. He had to make sure the Realm of the Dead was in order, that everyone there was behaving, that everything went smoothly. Normally, each new soul was already sorted -Dark merely made sure that the right decision had been made. Typically, he didn't need to change anything, merely confirming it was the right decision. And it had been Author who'd done the pre-sorting. It had been Author who made sure Dark had the correct files for currently dying people, because he knew which of them would survive and which wouldn't.

He knew why Author always looked so tired when he saw him. So much was going wrong without him.

“Dark, there's a lot of humans dying in this region, and we don't know what to do!” “Dark, far too many people are getting pregnant here, too many births, and no one seems to die! Everyone is doing too well!” “Dark, everyone here is sick, and Mike can't do anything! People are dying left and right and it's too much!”

He had to hide away from them all for a moment, fleeing to his room and closing the door behind himself. He needed a break. He was so tired. He collapsed tiredly onto his bed, draping an arm over his eyes. He realized his mistakes. He recognized them. He acknowledged them. He's never wanted to, but now he had done the seemingly irreversible, and everything was now biting him in the ass. Why had he done this? Why hadn't he stopped? Author had apologized as Dark disgraced him. Author really didn't put any blame whatsoever on him, didn't he? It made him feel even worse, somehow. Author still loved him. After everything he's done, he still loved him.

Dark could remember the time when he had just been made. He had been the first. The first other being Author had made. They had been so close. It had only been the two of them, and they had done everything together. Always with each other, always talking, always checking in on the other. And then, Author had made the first angels. Dark had immediately noticed the difference between himself and those angels -they only had two wings. Dark had four. Their halos, while the same size as Dark's, floated above their heads, instead of behind it. “You look different, because you are. You're the oldest. You're the wisest. You're the most important person next to me. You hold more power than they do. You'll look after them, you'll teach them and guide them.”, Author had said, when he had asked him. “They'll look up to you, Damien.”. It had made him feel good. Author trusted him so much, that he put him in charge to take care of these angels. But Author also looked after them, especially when they needed more helping hands. There was less time for the two of them to be together.

The worst was, when Author made the first god. Dark, for the first time, had felt jealousy. Why had Author made a god? Someone... someone more important than Dark? Why hadn't he made Dark a god? He couldn't help the jealous feeling from settling heavy and ugly in his chest. How could there be someone even more important than Dark? Someone who was on par with Author. Dark was jealous, but... he knew they needed that god. He'd be fine. Problem was, that he wasn't fine. Author was more and more distracted, having less and less time for Dark, and it was dragging him down. He didn't even recognize when Author tried to spend time with him, when he spoke with him, when he wanted to be close. He had brushed him off. He had focused so much on his bad feelings and jealousy, that he had completely ignored how Author tried to give him just what he craved. And eventually, Author backed off -recognizing that Dark apparently didn't want him around any more.

Dark had been such a fool. How could he have pushed Author away, when the god -his friend- had tried to reach out to him? He buried his hands in his hair, making a soft frustrated sound. It was all his fault. That all of this happened, that Author was suffering because of him. He's heard of the state he was in. Author was near constantly passed out, but sometimes... he woke up. He was awake, but barely coherent. Mumbling and rambling, to weak to really move. Dark hadn't dared go anywhere near Author's room. He was... he didn't want to say it, but he was scared. He was scared of what had happened to Author. Because he was responsible for it.

There was a soft knocking coming from the door, making Dark sigh. He knew he couldn't hide from everyone forever, he had to go back to them some time. He pushed himself up, taking a deep breath and tugging on his clothes, he made his way to the door, hesitating a moment when he laid his hand on the handle, before pulling it open. “Aiden-?”, he couldn't help the startled word, when he saw Author standing there -and nearly collapsing, though luckily Dark easily caught him. The god looked so weak. He was shaking as if he were freezing, his skin had a sickly pallor, and he looked barely able to stand. He clung to Dark's chest, breathing heavily, eyes barely forced open. Dark kept holding onto Author for support. “Damien- I'm so sorry- so- so sorry- I- Damien-”, Author's voice was soft, weak, rambling and falling over the words he was trying to say, “Damien- please- I love you Damien- please I'm- sorry so sorry please- let me- sorry Damien I- let me help- please I'm sorry-...”.

Author's words got quieter the further he spoke, until it was nothing but incoherent mumblings against Dark's chest. The angel's worry increased the more Author sagged against him, the weaker he seemed to get. He gently picked Author up, the god readily leaning his head against Dark's shoulder. The angel closed the door, carrying Author over to the bed, sitting down together with him. This sight wasn't strange, them sitting on Dark's bed, with Author in the angel's lap. But Author was nearly limp in Dark's arms, the angel holding him tightly against himself, feeling horrible. He knew what he's done was wrong. And still, here Author was. Still apologizing to him.

“No, Aiden.”, Dark murmured, gently but protectively holding the weak god against himself, gently cradling his head with a hand, holding him close. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disgraced you. I'm sorry I did this to you.”. Author's hold on Dark's chest was weak, but there. He smiled softly still though, his eyes having fallen closed. Dark kept his gaze on the god's face, because seeing the broken half of the halo, or Author's ripped and ruffled wings, would bring much more pain for Dark than he already felt. “I love you.”, Author said softly, so quietly, and Dark would forever deny he teared up. He held Author close, hiding his face in Author's hair, breathing shaky. He knew Author was losing consciousness again, his heavy breaths evening out slowly, his grip on Dark's chest loosening. “I love you too.”, Dark's words were quiet, mere whispers, as he clutched Author close to himself.

[saikostories]

MHA - Dreamless Nightmare pt2

“No way,” Denki sputtered as he wheezed, choking on his own laughter while mindlessly hitting Kirishima on the back.

“Dude there’s- There’s no way!”

His pure hysterical joy was infectious and the rest of the class couldn’t help the slight chuckles and amused smiles that came with the sight before them.

“I- Don’t make fun of him, it’s a very manly thing to be scared of! Kinda?” Kirishima tried and failed to stay serious as he too fell victim to the explosive laughs that accidentally ended up covering Sero in a flurry of spit.

“This isn’t real! This can’t be-” Mina fell off the couch in a mess of breathless giggles that had Momo and Jirou needing to harden their resolve in attempting to suppress their own bottled up laughter.

Tsuyu was hiding her face in her hands, avoiding the scene in futile attempts to not laugh at a classmate.

Even Todoroki and Tokoyami, two of the most stone-faced students, were chuckling under their breath.

Bakugo was sitting in a backyard.

The grass was beautifully kept and the picket fence in the background was freshly painted a clean white that dazzled under the sun and, under any other circumstance, would’ve been blinding if not for the anger that drew everyone’s attention to the centre of the yard.

Kacchan sat in a chair that was five times too small, arms crossed with sheer rage making his eyes twitch as a sparkly blue cone-shaped party hat looked out of place on his head.

Toddlers sat scattered around him gathered about a present covered table, drooling as they laughed and babbled things none of them could hear.

There weren’t any adults in sight, and it almost looked as if Bakugo was in charge of the kids which made the ridiculous set-up even more hilarious.

Izuku hid a smile while Uraraka was turning red with the amount of effort she gave while trying to hold in her laughter.

Kacchan suddenly yelled something at the window that fell on deaf ears and one kid started crying sending the whole class into a wild frenzy of laughter.

At this point even All Might was laughing at the odd spectacle.

Holding up his hand to silence his students he pressed the button as everyone hopelessly tried stifling their amusement.

Instantly they were met with the incoherent sounds of children rambling and light hearted giggling, the one kid who started crying had stopped and was now using a crayon to colour on Bakugo’s shirt.

All Might cleared his throat as the class shushed the remaining few who were still laughing, “Young Bakugo?” His voice wavered and everyone could hear the undertones of struggle as their own teacher was giving it his all not to laugh, “Is there a problem?”

It was as if a timer went off and with a twitch of his eye Bakugo blew up, throwing the birthday hat on the ground with so much force that the thing dented as he stood up physically smoking with anger.

The poor kid who was innocently doodling on his shirt was knocked backwards with the sheer intensity of the sudden movement and sent to the ground a sprawling mess as Bakugo exploded.

“FUCK YEAH THERE’S A FUCKING PROBLEM!” He screamed, his entire face a fuming mass of pure anger.

“The damn machine is fucking broken! I’m not scared of this shit!”

“Who the hell would be scared of these snot nosed shitty brats!” Kacchan snarled as the kids, like a domino effect, all started wailing and sobbing at the top of their lungs.

“Shit! They’re so fucking loud!” He shouted while covering his ears in futile attempts to distance himself from the onslaught of children’s cries.

Izuku grinned, a distant feeling of nostalgia bloomed at the sight, “Kacchan never does change does he?” He unknowingly said out loud and Bakugo exploded yet again.

“What the hell did you say Deku!? I heard that you shit!” He screamed as his hands popped with loud mini explosions that seemed to terrify the kids more.

“You think this is funny don’t you! You all think this is funny!”

“Now Bakugo my boy,” All Might interrupted, knowing that if he didn’t cut them off then an obvious fight would break out, “The program hasn’t made any mistakes yet and I doubt it has this time.”

Kacchan clicked his tongue ready to argue why that was pure bullshit, but before he could All Might hastily continued, “Being scared of something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re terrified. Having a fear can also be something that you would never want to experience, and in this case the thing you don’t want to experience is dealing with toddlers.”

Bakugo seemed to accept All Might’s explanation like a punch in the face as he begrudgingly pulled up his miniature chair and sat back down.

The kids had settled down by now, most of them sniffling loudly while going back to the activities they were before his episode.

The only one who hadn’t was the kid from before, who sat on the grass sobbing quietly with a broken green crayon in his hands.

It was clear to everyone that Bakugo didn’t know what the hell to do. He looked like a fish out of water with the awkward way he sat and his gaze that shifted between each kid like they were some kind of foreign entity.

Izuku knew what would happen next, Kacchan wasn’t good with children, or anyone for that matter. He didn’t have the gentle personality or patience that was needed to handle them and when Kacchan didn’t know what to do he got defensive.

And well.. When he got defensive.

People get hurt, usually unintentionally but still.

He knew Kacchan wouldn’t hurt the kids outright but..

A frown formed on Midoriya’s face as his eyebrows furrowed. There was no way he’d be caring and comfort them, or even try playing with them, he was way too prideful for that.

That meant he’d have to do something to get them to like him?

Anything a normal child would do was immediately out of the question. Even talking wouldn’t work because Kacchan would just end up cursing the kids out and scaring them further.

Maybe entertaining them?

But his quirk wasn’t the safest, or the most child friendly.

It would’ve been helpful if he could attach his explosions onto things and make them blow up, but he could only cause current explosions.

Unless..

Suddenly Izuku had an idea, there wasn’t a one hundred percent guarantee that Kacchan could do it, but it was the best option he had!

Wait.

His face suddenly fell flat as he was struck in the head with a sudden reality.

The only problem was, Kacchan would never agree if it was him to suggest it..

Uraraka gave Deku a side glance, quietly watching the way his face would suddenly go from confused thought, to wide-eyed excitement as he realised something, then to stupefied frustration as whatever it was he realised came with some sort of catch.

“Hey Deku,” she whispered nudging him with her elbow breaking his concentration and causing him to look at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ah, sorry was I mumbling again?”

“No you’re fine, you realised something didn’t you?”

Izuku nodded, a concerned look in his eyes as he gave a half smile, “I think so, but Kacchan wouldn’t listen to me.”

He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head as he suppressed the urge to suddenly yawn.

All this thinking was wearing him out.

“Then how about you ask someone who he would listen to?” Iida jumped in and Izuku felt a little bad at momentarily forgetting he was there.

In his defence, he was forgetting a lot of things today, like how simple and obvious Tenya’s idea was.

It was such a basic conclusion that Midoriya was a little ashamed he didn’t think of it sooner.

“Yeah! I think that’ll work!” He thanked Iida and quickly turned around to the Bakugo couch.

He quietly waved over Kirishima, trying to catch the redhead’s attention as Eijiro paused to gesture to where Kacchan furiously sat.

Their eyes met and Izuku gave him a pleasant smile, but Kirishima seemed to think he was just saying a hello and waved back before turning to Kaminari and continuing their conversation.

His hand was still mid-air and he cringed so hard that he suddenly didn’t feel tired anymore as he facepalmed while subconsciously wishing he could go back to the five seconds when he didn’t do something that awkward.

‘I don’t know how much more embarrassment I can take today,’ Izuku muttered to himself without much thought as he mentally tallied up all the awful moments that would haunt him for eternity.

“Hey Midoriya dude? You okay? You wanted to see me right?” Kirishima’s voice dragged him from of his little moment of internal death and he looked up confused.

Todoroki sat in the background giving a thumbs up with his expressionless face and Midoriya gave a silent thanks to his friend while internally promising to take him to eat soba once the lesson was over.

“Oh, yeah, okay I have an idea to help Kacchan,” He said, all embarrassment gone as he stood up ready to plan.

“So, he doesn’t really like me very much-”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Sero! You can’t just say that!”

“Well it’s not like it isn’t true.”

“-He doesn’t like me very much,” Izuku reiterated, ignoring the side conversation that started up.

“But he’s friends with you so he’ll at least consider what you have to say versus completely ignoring or doing the opposite of what I’d suggest.”

Kirishima nodded his head along, “Okay I get it, you want me to tell him what you want to, I’ll be like your carrying pigeon!”

Izuku shook his head before pausing to think and giving him a nod, “Well yes, but I was also wondering if you could give him tips about kids? I do have a plan, but maybe you’d be able to convince him so we won’t need it?”

It was a hopeless idea, but hey if anyone could get Kacchan to bottle up his pride it was Kirishima so it was worth a shot?

The mere idea of suggesting kid-like things to Bakugo was immediately shot down as Eijiro deadpanned, a look of dumb helpless confusion practically emitting from him, “I don’t know anything about kids?”

“Wait what do you mean? Don’t you have a bunch of siblings?” Izuku cocked his head, he could have sworn that Kirishima came from a big family?

“Well yeah, but I lived with them, I don’t know how to play with any random kid?”

“Okay okay, so just I guess,” Izuku felt like he was all scrambled up and at a loss, “Alright let’s just go with your carrying pigeon idea, I’ll write down what to say and you can just tell Kacchan?”

Kirishima pumped his fist in the air with a big grin showcasing his sharp teeth, “All right! Let’s help Bakubro!” He laughed jokingly as Kacchan simultaneously pushed a kid away so violently that the poor girl fell over like a tumbleweed.

Quickly Midoriya got Momo to make a sheet of paper and he scribbled so fast that you could practically see a thin line of smoke trailing off the pencil.

“Iida could you hold down the microphone?” He asked after finishing his plans, “I don’t want to accidentally slip up.”

Tenya jumped up with a happy smile at being asked to help again and bounded over, awaiting further instructions.

“Okay Kirishima?”

“Yup I’m ready!”

“I’ll hold the notebook up so you can see it, Iida thanks for your help, you can start now.”

The class watched, anticipating how quickly things would go sour. The same students who made bets on All Might’s fear started a new round with how long it would take him to figure out that it was Deku’s idea and not Kirishima’s.

Jirou personally thought he’d be too dense to ever realise.

All Might had a grin as he watched from the sidelines, he knew this wasn’t the most action packed exercise or even the most interesting lesson, but it made him proud to see his students overcoming these problems even if it wasn’t something like fighting a villian or saving the world.

“Ah-” Kirishima cleared his throat, catching Kacchan’s attention as his head snapped up, “Hey Bakugo, how’re you doing?” He said lamely and they could hear Kaminari choke as he tried not to laugh at how awful that intro was.

“Fucking fine, what does it look like!?” Kacchan glared at the window where he thought Kirishima was and Izuku mentally sighed again.

“Now what do you want I’m busy!?”

'Busy at not knowing what to do,’ Izuku thought thinking of the ten minutes spent watching Kacchan just sit awkwardly.

“Yeah sorry, okay look I’ve got a plan-”

Bakugo interrupted with a suspicious tilt of his head as one of his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“You? You have a plan?” He asked with heavy sarcasm weighing down his words.

“Yeah I can come up with plans too you know!”

Kirishima huffed with so much authority that Bakugo actually looked as if he believed it, even some of their classmates had to remind themselves that Eijiro was only pretending.

Izuku couldn’t help the small smile from pulling up the corners of his mouth in excitement, this was actually going to work!

“Okay Shitty Hair let’s hear it.”

“Hey my hair’s not-!”

“I said let’s fucking hear it!”

“Okay okay, so you’ve gotta entertain the kids right?”

“I don’t fucking know you tell me!?”

Kirishima ignored him and continued, squinting at the jumbled up words that Midoriya was holding up.

“So how about you.. Er.. Blow stuff up for them?”

Izuku hastily shook his head at Eijiro’s attempt at paraphrasing and pointed at a crudely drawn diagram with wide eyes as he wordlessly mouthed something that Kirishima couldn’t exactly understand.

“Wait wait! No that’s not what I meant! Uhh- Okay, no you have to blow up, Wait? Dude is that a tree?”

Izuku sighed in defeat as the class broke their momentary vow of silence and laughed at Kirishima’s amazing acting.

“Hey dumbass?” Kacchan asked with a seriousness that chilled the entire room silencing the exchange of bets that went on in the back.

Kirishima looked as if he were a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar as he nervously cleared his voice, “Yeah? Bakugo buddy?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly giving away the obvious guilt of lying.

“You wanna tell me your plan again?” Kacchan put all emphasis on, 'your,’ and any thought that maybe they’d get away with it was completely and utterly blown to bits.

“Uh yeah, it’s umm, well it’s actually for Deku to tell his plan!”

And with that Kirishima backed off as he gave an apologetic smile to the helpless Izuku whom he just threw into the lion’s den.

He admitted it wasn’t exactly the most manly thing to do so before he went back to his seat he gave a heavy sigh, “Look Bakugo, I know you don’t like him, but at least hear him out, it’s a good plan.”

“Put the fucking nerd on.”

Kirishima frowned and tried his best to say sorry as quietly as he could before walking back to the couch to watch this train wreck unfold.

“I can hear you Kacchan,” Izuku said, his voice unwavering.

“I want it known that I didn’t fucking ask for your help, I don’t need your help. I never have. Never will.”

Midoriya held back a sigh and took that as his willingness to listen.

“Okay look, you’ve got to entertain these kids but your quirk is way too loud for them- It’ll just end up scaring them and making your situation ten times worse.”

Kacchan grunted in agreement but remained quiet.

“But kids love explosions, like fireworks, they love the destruction and you can use that. Find something small like an acorn or stick, it doesn’t matter as long as you can make it disintegrate with your quirk.”

“Coat it in your palm’s nitroglycerin and flick the object in the air as hard as you can, you’ve got to be careful and make sure you send it flying with a lot of force so it won’t blow up in your face. The speed should delay the explosion just enough to have it explode in a distance that won’t scare the kids.”

Izuku finished quickly, he’d said everything so fast that it left him breathless and dizzy.

Everyone was silent for a moment, the only sounds were the chattering of the children as they ran around the table blissfully unaware of the discussion at hand.

The tension was unbearable and the entire atmosphere held it’s breath for what Bakugo was going to say next.

Seconds ticked by until Kacchan’s frown grew more defined and he let out an angry sigh.

“I’ll do it.”

“But not because you fucking suggested it, it’s because I don’t have anything better to do.” He growled as he stood up and stretched his legs.

Izuku had an unbelievably happy grin plastered to his face, Kacchan didn’t shut him down immediately, in fact he listened to him!

He felt a proud feeling take root in his chest, his standing with Kacchan had clearly improved. He’d never be close enough to be actual friends, but this was at least a step forward in that direction.

Both him and Iida returned to the floor as they watched Bakugo eye the sobbing kid’s broken crayon.

Within seconds Kacchan snatched it away making the kid cry even more with the aggressiveness of his action, but Bakugo paid him no attention.

Holding the crayon tightly he eyed the window with a glare and mouthed something they couldn’t hear. Though with the way his mouth moved it almost looked like he said his name..

'He’s probably threatening me again,’ Izuku thought as he watched Kacchan throw the pieces into the air. As soon as they left his hand the crayons suddenly exploded in miniature bursts that rained down green wax which caught the sun’s light and made it look like sparkles fell from the sky.

The kids all stopped and watched with wide eyed amazement as the sparkle shower dusted them and it looked like they cheered as Kacchan smirked and grabbed a handful of crayons, throwing them one by one into the air.

Red and orange pieces of wax exploded like golden rain and a great big grin pulled up the corners of his mouth as he stood in the glittering remnants.

The kid who’d fallen before raised his arms up at Kacchan as if asking to be picked up and Izuku fet his stomach sink.

Kacchan was definitely going to yell at the kid..

But to his surprise without a second though he was placed on his shoulders.

Again another crayon was thrown and the children all looked as if they were having the time of their life with how excitedly they jumped up and down, clapping as the purple wax coloured their already messy clothing.

The kid on Kacchan’s shoulders reached his tiny hands towards a flake of blue and as his fingers touched the wax snowflake the entire scene dissolved and Bakugo was left standing in the concrete room with confused shock.

All Might pressed down the microphone with a wistful look on his face as if he’d just seen something from a dream, “Great job Bakugo my boy! You conquered your fear in more ways than one! I’m very proud of you!”

Bakugo huffed but it was clear he enjoyed the praise as he silently walked through the door and back into the waiting room.

“One word about any of that and I’ll send you all to fucking Mars,” he threatened the whole class but there was no real heat to the threat as he took his seat back on the couch’s arm.

“Because it’s too difficult to choose, I’ll let Young Bakugo here decide who goes next!” All Might laughed as everyone eyed Kacchan with sudden piqued interest.

“Sero.”

“Wait what!? Why!? I don’t want to go next!” Sero complained as Kaminari and Kirishima both laughed at him.

“I heard you laughing,” Kacchan replied with an evil smirk.

“Yeah well everyone was!”

“I heard you laugh more.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Tough shit, you’re going.”

Sero’s arguments fell on deaf ears as he begrudgingly got up, Kirishima gave him a comforting pat on the back as he smiled an evil toothy grin.

“Better you than me!” He laughed as a sudden menacing presence popped up beside him causing him to freeze.

“Actually, I was going to have a friendly chat with you next.” Bakugo cracked his knuckles as Eijiro paled, a look of joking terror flashing across his face.

Sero smirked while he made his way through the sea of classmates, laughing at Kirishima’s own nervous chuckling.

“Better you than me~”

***

Everything felt cold.

It was a chill that made him shiver into the freezing feeling, craving an escape from that heavy claustrophobic heat that made him feel so weak and tired.

His head felt fuzzy and feverish, and the strange cool was comforting even though it was such an intense sharpness against his heated skin.

It was like..

It was like he was chasing something he couldn’t see, something that he couldn’t grasp, he didn’t have a clue what it was except it was right in front of him.

Actually, he didn’t even know if it was in front of him at all!?

It was so dark he couldn’t see, but that feeling, that awful feeling of fear consumed him, chasing him, or was he chasing it?

He wasn’t sure..

Unknowingly he groaned, shifting into the cold as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

The only thing keeping him sane as he relaxed into it.

“〱A? H?”

There was something there, something with him in the static fuzz that felt clearer than the rest.

“YI*ŒL-”

It felt as if he could reach out and just about.. If his arms were just an inch longer.

“..%-~*”

Almost.

’Please!’ He whispered out, begging the- Whoever it was, whatever it was, to just let him catch it. To let him see.

Some gut feeling told him that if he reached it- If he just got a little closer- Then-

“JW SB BA-#!”

Izuku jolted awake, gasping as a loud explosion echoed off the walls rattling his already aching head.

Whatever dream he had faded away nearly instantly and he was left with a gaping empty feeling as he blinked in confusion.

“Where?” He mumbled, sleep still heavy in his thoughts as the terror of being forced awake subsided to feeling like a distant memory, and he relaxed back into the cushions comfortably.

'Wait…’ He thought, a slow realisation dawning in his foggy head, 'Cushions?’

“You fell asleep halfway through Sero’s fight, we thought you would be more comfortable here.”

“Oh,” Izuku muttered again as if it was the simplest explaination ever. Closing his eyes he sighed into the cold feeling, resting his forehead against the icy fabric mindlessly grabbing at it to pull that comforting coldness closer.

“Thanks Tod'roki,” He slurred, rubbing his face along the cold, craving the relief it gave as the unbearable heat fell away a little bit more with the movement.

“You’re welcome.”

A second passed, Midoriya was silent as, like a distorted jigsaw puzzle that a kindergartener was trying to put together, everything started clicking.

His eyes suddenly flew open in an embarrassment that was so overwhelming that, 'Embarassment,’ was too light of a word, and without moving he looked around trying to get a grasp on what happened.

Most students were sitting or standing around chatting, across the room Kacchan and Kirishima were teamed up against Sero and Kaminari in an intense foosball match that probably was the reason he woke up with how enraged and into the game Kacchan was getting.

He couldn’t see the training room without turning his head, but he heard some of his classmates cheering on whoever was in there.

Everything was normal..

At least..

Until he looked over and saw he was hugging Todoroki’s arm as if he were some kind of expressionless stuffed teddy bear.

He already knew when he connected the dots moments ago.. But it was a million times more real when he saw his own fingers intertwined in Shoto’s uniform, his arm interlinking with his own as his head rested in the crook of Todoroki’s elbow comfortably.

It was as if the sudden scene caused him to shut down internally as steam practically flew out of his ears.

Izuku’s face flushed ten shades of red as he jumped up, jerking his arm away and holding both hands raised in a gesture of innocence as he leaned so far away that he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the empty side of the couch.

“I- I” He stuttered, biting his own tongue as he felt a heat so overwhelming the room spun together in shapes of warped colours.

Everything was moving so fast that he didn’t even have time to fully grasp his situation as he tried regaining control of his own voice.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” Midoriya finally managed to get out so quickly that it was practically incomprehensible.

Todoroki just stared at him, his usually unreadable expression broken by a small eyebrow raise that was mostly hidden behind his bangs.

“It’s fine, are you alright?” He asked equally as monotoned as his concerned gaze.

Izuku cleared his throat, suddenly painfully self-aware at how awkwardly stupid he was being. Shoto hadn’t moved a muscle as he flung himself away, acting as though he were the plague.

It just startled him, well, actually it was a huge shock to find himself all cuddled up to Todoroki.

“I’m uh, fine,” he gave an awkward laugh as he picked himself off from the couch, pausing for a minute as the room slowly stopped spinning, and sat back down. Though it wasn’t even a fraction of how close he was before.

“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out,” Izuku scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his face still a flushed mess.

Shoto’s stare hadn’t wavered a second while Midoriya was settling down, which only unnerved him more.

“That’s alright, are you sure you’re fine?”

Izuku gave a quick nod, the heat in his cheeks burning into his forced smile.

“Yeah I’m good, but uh, would you mind telling me how I got here? I don’t remember anything after Sero opened that casket and found a mummy?” He laughed again, a bit more naturally now with the vague memory of Sero standing face to face with a wrapped up mummy.

Shoto turned away after a bit of a pause, it was as if he was searching Izuku’s face for something and Midoriya felt even more awkward.

'It’s like he can see right through me,’ he thought as he shifted a bit on the couch. The last thing he needed right now was for someone to find out about him being sick.

He generally didn’t know at first with the excitement of the morning, and any sluggishness he did feel, any uncomfortableness, he just thought it was sleep deprivation and ignored it.

But now his head suddenly pounded as if a hammer was hitting him repeatedly and he felt so flushed that he generally wanted to forgo his pride and cling back onto Todoroki’s arm again.

Finally Shoto let out a sigh, it was quiet but Izuku still heard him and it only fuelled that unsettling sickening feeling that Todoroki knew.

Turning away he looked towards the window, it looked like Jirou was doing the exercise, but he couldn’t exactly be sure?

“You started dozing off,” Todoroki started without warning and it startled Izuku from his thoughts as he unconsciously turned to look at Shoto despite himself.

“You couldn’t keep your head up, so when All Might said everyone didn’t have to watch so intensely we moved you to the couch, Bakugo left when Kirishima dragged him to play games over there.”

He made a gesture with his head towards the foosball table.

At the moment Kaminari and Sero were losing miserably as Kirishima effortlessly blocked an oncoming attack, sending the ball straight to Kaminari. Unfortunately Denki thought he was blocking it but actually turned the wrong players and knocked the ball directly into his own goal, earning him an evil all mighty grin from Kacchan and a exasperated look from Sero. He was just guessing, but it seemed like that hadn’t been the first time Denki did that.

“Wait? What do you mean, 'we?’ And hold on how long was I asleep? And how did I- well, I mean, how did I end up, you know? Using you as a- I guess.. A pillow?” Anxiety flooded his veins making him jittery as he rubbed at the back of his palms absentmindedly.

God this was so awkward.. At least Shoto had such a straightforward air about him that eased his embarrassment just a little. If Todoroki was just as awkward as he was- He almost shuttered at the thought.

“Iida was going to move you, but I offered to help since you were sweating. I didn’t have anything to do until my turn and you looked uncomfortable,” again Shoto looked at him with that knowing stare and Izuku had to look away out of guilt.

'He knows something, is it the dreams? Did I say something? Does he know I’m sick?’ Thoughts flitted across his mind so quickly that he almost didn’t hear Shoto with how intensely he was obsessing over it.

“You slept through everyone aside Jirou’s currently, and Kaminari’s-” Izuku blanked, a look of stunned shame crossing his face and he looked down at his hands mortified.

“I missed the whole training exercise,” he muttered, a heavy feeling pulling down on him as he felt completely miserable.

'This isn’t any different than missing class,’ Izuku thought bitterly as he felt a wetness glazing over his eyes. A flash of pathetic anger consumed him in a split-second and he rubbed at his stupid eyes roughly.

'Why am I like this!?’ He thought, that heart wrenching anger directed solely at himself as a gloom overtook him.

'Everything was going so well! I felt fine!’

'I hadn’t fallen asleep in class all week!’

'I don’t even remember crashing! Why did it have to be now?’

'So much-,’ the sudden memory of Kacchan’s door last night plagued him in that short moment of thinking and Izuku felt a million times worse, ’-for handling it better..’

'It would’ve been better if I just did-’

A coldness shocked him from his thoughts and he looked with wide eyes as Todoroki stared him down again, his hand brushing the hair from his forehead as if checking his temperature.

“Did your fever return?” He asked and Izuku froze.

“Fever? What fever? I don’t have a fever I feel fine!” He laughed as he begrudgingly pushed Shoto’s hand aside, the sharp cold felt so nice and he hated to give that up, but he had to ignore this.

If he didn’t, and All Might found out..

His heart clenched at the mental image of his disappointed face, that was one thing he could not handle.

Shoto just gave him that same look that made Izuku’s paranoia skyrocket.

“Okay.”

They were silent again which only made Midoriya die inside with the amount of awkwardness he felt.

Trying to avoid the situation he turned towards where Jirou was standing in front of what looked like a bowl.

It seemed she was standing outside a door at night, it looked like some run down house with the way the porch light flickered as moths flew around menacingly.

He couldn’t see too much since so many people were watching, but he did notice that she hadn’t moved since he last glanced over.

Uraraka was currently at the mic giving some advice that he hadn’t heard but a snippet of, something about it being okay? And he swore he heard her say candy but that couldn’t be right?

In an instant Jirou’s hand shot out as an ear piercing shriek blasted through the room followed by electronic cackling.

Ashido and Kaminari locked eyes and immediately burst out laughing, snickering as an unbelievably embarrassed Jirou stalked back into the room as the door whooshed open, her arms crossed as she glared daggers into everyone- Especially Denki.

“Was that?” Izuku questioned, trying to figure out what he just saw.

“Was that one of those Halloween bowls? The ones that scare you when you reach out to get the candy?” The only reason he even was able to figure that out was because of the lack lustre Halloween decorations strung out throughout the scene and the muffled music that played faintly in the background.

“Yeah.”

…

'Come on Shoto! You’re my best friend and all, but you’ve gotta give me more to work with than that!’ He thought hopelessly as they were plunged into another awkward pause of silence.

Izuku half wondered if Todoroki was maybe.. Pouting? Or at least was being quieter than usual because he didn’t admit to being sick? Or something? Maybe he actually did offend him when he pulled away so quickly!? He didn’t mean to! He was still only half awake and-

All the worrying he was doing only made him feel sick as he sat in silence.

“S-” He paused his face reddening again as he felt the whiplash of embarrassment from stuttering, “Sorry, I know you were just trying to help, I didn’t mean to jump like that.” He couldn’t meet Shoto’s eyes, knowing that his friend was looking at him so intensely that he could physically feel it.

“It’s fine. It didn’t bother me.”

A simple answer for a simple person.

“I- Well I just want to thank you, I’m not sick I-” Before he could come up with a good enough lie, Uraraka bounded over with such a happy smile that it shut down whatever he was going to say.

“Deku you’re up! That’s great! We were starting to get worried!” She beamed as Iida followed from behind with an equally happy atmosphere.

“Good afternoon! Did you have a good nap?”

Izuku smiled widely, “Yeah! I don’t know why I was so tired!” He laughed as he felt that same intense staring boring into him and he knew it was Shoto again.

“That’s alright! I sometimes feel like that too!” Uraraka laughed as she bounced onto the couch, her hair fluffing upwards as she sunk into the cushions happily.

Iida gave a stark nod as he sat in between Todoroki and himself, something which Izuku was secretly glad for, “I don’t usually feel that way in class, but I understand most students normally do,” he said with a shrug and Izuku smiled, more so from the relief of them interrupting his and Shoto’s conversation than anything else.

If he was left just a little while longer with him..

Midoriya felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought, knowing he would’ve had to admit to being sick, or at least, admit to whatever it was that Shoto knew about.

A small part of him was terrified that he knew about his nightmares.. But that was impossible, he wasn’t usually a sleep talker and even if he was it wasn’t like he’d say anything to make anyone worry?

Yeah! It couldn’t be that!

“Deku are you alright? You don’t look so good?”

Midoriya tensed up, a look of fear crossing his face for a split second as he regained his composure and smiled a wide, horribly noticeable, fake smile, “Yup! I’m fine just a bit tired is all, you know how naps are!” He laughed again and even though all three of his friends gave him a look, they chose not to press it.

“Anyways what did I miss? Sorry I slept through your training Uraraka, how’d it go?” He added, a guilty feeling lodging in the pit of his stomach as he watched Kaminari say something to Jirou that caused him to get punched in the arm.

“That’s fine! We were right, my fear was a ghost!” She grinned triumphantly as she huffed with pride, “I remembered what you said about them not being able to touch you so I just stood there with my eyes closed and it eventually went away all on its own! It was awesome!”

Izuku tried to match her enthusiasm but it was hard, despite his nap he was still painfully worn out. The only difference was that now he had a bit of a boost to keep him going.

“That’s great! So what happened after Sero?”

“Quite a lot actually,” Iida pushed up his glasses as he got ready to summarise practically the entire day, “Kirishima went after Sero, he was afraid of chickens, Aoyama had a bad hair day, Uraraka went next, you know how that went-”

“Then Tsuyu! She had a ghost too!” Uraraka interrupted, an excited sparkle in her eyes as she grinned, “Only her ghost looked way scarier than mine! It was all disfigured and gross looking, there wasn’t any blood though but it was still scary!”

Before she could continue, All Might called out from where he stood off to the side, “Kaminari will be going now, then Young Midoriya and we’ll be done for the day!”

An excited cheer resonated from the students as they grinned, some voicing out their elaborate excursions for the rest of the day, and some just wanting to go back to their rooms and do nothing.

“Wow, how long did the training take?” Izuku questioned as the chatter died down.

“Surprisingly not long at all!” Uraraka beamed again, a happy aura radiating from her, “Actually we haven’t even gone to lunch yet! Everyone was really quick, some people only took seconds like Todoroki! He had this creepy looking doll and without even thinking about it he hugged it, he was out faster than it took him to enter the room! You should’ve seen the look on his face it was terrifying! He must’ve been super motivated to get back here!”

The sickening feeling returned as sweat perspired on Izuku’s forehead from sheer nervousness, though his fever probably didn’t help.

He had this empty feeling rolling around in his stomach from the disappointment of knowing he missed all of this.

It felt like a generally fun training exercise, everyone was having so much fun and laughing, playing games, enjoying seeing and helping each other.

And he fell asleep.

'What if I take up too much time?’ The thought suddenly crossed his mind with the feeling of tainted milk as it was like he was dropped from a building.

'What if I’m the longest time out of everyones?’

'Everyone’s so excited to get done and have a free day..’

'I don’t even know my fear- How can I hope to fight it?’

With each thought his stomach dropped more and more making his skin itch with the sudden stress he felt with being last.

“This hasn’t happened before,” he thought with a frown as he took hold of his hand, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, 'I’ve never been this scared of a training exercise before? Why am I so scared, what am I even so scared of!?’ It was a pathetic thought that he hadn’t realised he’d voiced out loud with his unconscious muttering.

“Okay that’s it.” Uraraka put her hands over Izuku’s, causing him to jolt with the sudden warmth.

“Wha?” He paused, a shaking smile returning to his face as he suddenly returned to reality.

“Izuku you need to go to recovery girl!” She huffed loudly and pointed with a fierceness that left him speechless.

“You’ve been out of it all day! Actually no. You’ve been out of it all week! You look awful,” he winced but she continued without stopping, “You’re sick aren’t you? Your face is so flushed and you’re shaking! We’ve all noticed it but hoped you’d go on your own, or at least would tell us about it! And now you just mumbled about something never happening before!? Izuku Midoriya we are your friends, you can talk to us!” She poked him in the chest, trying to get it through his thick skull that he didn’t have to shoulder everything on his own.

Izuku’s mouth felt bone dry, his tongue too heavy to even refute as he looked between her, Iida, and Todoroki, each of them having a look that backed her up.

“Please,” she begged and Izuku had to look away with the amount of guilt he felt, “We’re worried about you. We’ve all felt horrible seeing you like this and knowing you’d just lie to us about being fine.”

“You’re our friend,” Shoto added, reiterating what Uraraka had said before with the slightest smile, but it was enough to make Izuku chuckle, his anxiety slowly disappearing as his breathing relaxed.

“I- well,” he paused as he felt a sudden surge of warmth. It wasn’t at all like the sickly heat he experienced earlier, it was calm and comforting, and it made him smile. “I think you’re right, I’ll go talk to All Might about it,” He felt a relief at the thought, it was strange, he was trying so hard to keep going and felt awful, but the minute he accepted he needed a break it was like the weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Uraraka breathed a sigh of relief, like a mother having just won a painful argument with her exhaustingly stubborn toddler, “Good, you could make up the exercise sometime else, you need sleep!” She added as Iida also nodded, “You can’t do everything, it’s good to take a step back every once and awhile.”

Uraraka aggressively agreed as Izuku stood up, a sudden rush of black clouded his vision and he shook his head with a smile as he stretched, working the sleep away from his arms.

Before he could even take a step forward a coldness gripped his arm preventing him from going anywhere as he looked back, Shoto’s eyes made him nervous as his friend stared at him with a seriousness that made the light cold on his wrist all the more chilling.

“Are you okay.”

His mouth moved, whispering the words so even though Iida and Uraraka, as close as they were, couldn’t hear.

Izuku’s blood ran ice cold, his eyes wide as he felt his heartbeat suddenly quicken with the realisation that Todoroki knew.

He didn’t know how, but he knew.

A second passed, Midoriya was in a cold-sweat of shock, not knowing how to respond. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t say he was having nightmares like some elementary school kid!

He was going to become a pro hero!

He couldn’t have nightmares!

Plus they were his friends, his precious friends, it wasn’t like they could help him with this when he couldn’t even remember a single nightmare. It would only make them feel worried and he didn’t want that.

“Thanks but I’m fine!” He grinned, putting his heart into the smile as Shoto released his grip on his arm, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

As Izuku turned away rubbing the spot where Todoroki held his arm as if he could see it, he heard Uraraka behind him.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, if Shoto knew (which Izuku was just about near positive he did) he wasn’t going to say anything.

The sound of electricity hummed through the air and Izuku’s focus was drawn to the training room. Everyone had grouped around the window with the growing excitement and cheers of the second to last student.

Kaminari was flailing around, electricity emitting all around him in a low buzz as his strange dance caused a flurry of laughter to emit from the spectators.

Somewhere along the line the students had placed a paperweight on the button so they wouldn’t have to keep holding it down.

“They did that during Tokoyami’s run, he was after Tsuyu,” Iida spoke up from the couch, Izuku hadn’t gotten but a couple of steps before he got distracted with Denki’s exercise.

“Oh, I guess I’ll sit and watch and then talk to All Might,” he said with an awkward laugh as he sat back down on the couch.

“Did everyone keep the speakers on?” He asked as he watched Kaminari fail to stomp on a very agile spider.

“Yeah, we found it was easier and most people were super curious! It’s so strange when you’re actually in there, if you don’t remember where you came in from it’s so easy to get disoriented!” Uraraka grinned before continuing, “So Tokoyami’s turn came and originally he wanted the speakers off, and his fear was trying to solve one of those puzzle cubes-”

“A Rubik cube?” He added and without missing a beat Uraraka responded.

“Yup! That’s the one! Anyways he had to solve that but of course he didn’t know how, so he actually needed help but couldn’t contact anyone and it took like twenty minutes before everyone noticed!” She laughed again and Izuku gave a grin at the thought.

“So how’d he solve it?”

“Well Momo knew the trick to it so she replicated her own to follow along, but it was so funny trying to get Tokoyami to find the window! He couldn’t remember where he came in from so we were all trying to direct him and it was like a giant game of Marco Polo!”

Midoriya couldn’t help but feel that twang in his heart from the regret of missing this. It sounded so fun, at the very least he got to see Iida and Kacchan so he couldn’t be too upset, but still.. He missed so much in the span of several hours that it couldn’t help but hurt.

“I’m actually quite surprised you didn’t wake up,” Iida added once Uraraka had finished her rant, “Bakugo had blown up several times, when you first fell asleep he went off and nearly started a fight with Todoroki, had All Might not stepped in and reminded them of the delicate control panels they probably would’ve destroyed the room.”

Shoto and Uraraka shot him a look that went right through Izuku as a flash of guilt flickered in his eyes.

“Oh well.. That’s just Kacchan!” He laughed but that didn’t disguise the disgusted feeling he had with himself.

“Wait Izu-” Uraraka was cut off when a physically smoking Kaminari pridefully burst through the door, a tired but exceedingly happy look on his face as he gave a thumbs up.

“I didn’t burn out this time!” He shouted and was nearly knocked over as Kirishima and Sero flung themselves on him, just as happy as he was that he didn’t fry himself silly.

Bakugo just scoffed and said something that was drowned out by the sea of cheers.

Izuku felt his anxiety flare up, feeling sick again as All Might quieted the excitement, “Great job Kaminari my boy! You’ve managed to regulate yourself without it leaving you incapacitated!”

“Now settle down!” He called, looking at Ashido who was picking on Denki again, “We have one more student and then all of you can take a day off!”

Before giving them time to cheer All Might gestured to a nerve wracked Midoriya, who went pale with all eyes on him. He felt more flustered than anything before when he was going to talk with his mentor.

Uraraka gave him a comforting look that screamed, 'Go on, tell him,’ as he shifted uncomfortably.

“Actually, um,” he started, a shy look crossing his face, “Would it be alright if I made up the exercise?” He wanted to avoid giving the details of why, hoping that maybe All Might would somehow allow him to get out of it without questioning his reasons, even though it sounded so unbelievably lame and his face flushed up in embarrassment.

When he looked up All Might’s eyes had softened tremendously and he was smiling a comforting smile.

“Yes that’s more than all right! I’m proud of you for knowing your limita-”

“What a fucking Hero you’re going to be!” A voice spoke up amongst the supportive eyes of his classmates that made Izuku visibly frown.

“Hey Bakugo lay off he’s worn out.”

“Fuck you Shitty Hair! We’re all fucking worn out! Why the hell does Deku over here get special treatment!? We’re the ones pulling through and he’s wimping out at the last second!”

“Bakugo!” All Might called trying to silence him but Kacchan was in such a heated rage he didn’t even care.

“It’s fucking pathetic! He slept through the whole thing like a damn baby, we were the ones who had to wait! And now he’s suddenly not going to do it anymore!?”

A slow thin frost had covered part of the room as the air dropped several degrees, “And? What’s so bad about that.” Shoto asked without even caring for an answer as someone somewhere whispered a, 'Not again,’ as Bakugo turned on the couch with a fury.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SA-”

“STOP IT!”

Deku exploded, standing up from the couch, his fists balled tightly to his sides as a drop of sweat rolled down his face with each huff of breath he gave.

It silenced every single person in that room.

“Young Midoriya?” All Might questioned after he gave a bit of a hesitant cough.

Izuku no longer felt dizzy, he may have still felt overwhelmed by heat, but that didn’t matter as long as he could survive it. What did matter was that Kacchan was right and he knew it, he was wrong to be swayed, and he was wrong to think he was due a break.

Heroes don’t take breaks.

“Kacchan’s right,” he said with determination as his eyes steeled while still looking down, “Everyone’s tired, everyone’s exhausted, it’s wrong for me to ask to make up the exam-”

Protests erupted from his classmates but that didn’t stop him, even though the worried looks from his friends made him feel a pang of guilt he continued.

“I’m doing the exercise.” He said with such determination that All Might had to sigh as a sad look crossed his face.

“All right, but Midoriya,” Izuku looked up meeting his teacher’s gaze, “Don’t overdo it.”

With a silent nod he pushed past the crowd of classmates, feeling all of their stares on his back as he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as he pushed his feeling of fear deep down.

'It’ll be alright. No one had anything bad, no one got any villains, no one got anything scary, it’s only been lighthearted! It’s suppose to be funny!’ He tried comforting himself but he didn’t find any real comfort in his thoughts.

“You got this Deku!” Uraraka called out, standing up on the couch to make herself even louder and a wave of encouragement followed him as he gave a quick look back, a smile on his face as he looked right at Kacchan, “Thank you,” he wholeheartedly grinned, his eyes sunken in from exhaustion, as he stepped into the blank room.

If it weren’t for Kacchan, he’d have let himself do something he would’ve regretted. Being the only one to not complete a training exercise just because he was tired? That wasn’t the makings of a good hero at all.

As the door shut behind him his classmates all looked through the window with worry.

“He’s going to be fine right?” Momo asked with a strange look on her face.

“Of course! This is Deku we’re talking about! He’s awesome!” Kaminari grinned as the whole room seemed to relax.

“Yeah- Yeah! You’re right he can do anything!

"His fear’s probably talking to a hot girl or something!” Mineta jumped with a huff and even though no one was a real fan for his jokes, it did lighten the mood tremendously.

“If it’s fucking Deku it’s going to be some lame shit like butterflies,” Bakugo suddenly spoke up with an evil half smirk as he stalked over to the other empty couch and flopped down taking over the whole seat.

“He’s scared of fucking everything, this’ll be a breeze,” he said as he shifted around making himself comfortable.

“You shouldn’t have said what you did though,” Tsuyu croaked, voicing what practically everyone was thinking.

Bakugo blinked, the whole class- Even All Might, expecting him to blow up or yell at Tsu, but he just turned around avoiding her.

“Fucking mind your own business,” he muttered before going silent.

“Man this atmosphere is heeAavy!” Ashido’s sudden voice wavered, singsonging the word as she snaked through the crowd of people, a maniacal grin on her face that made all but Jirou and Momo wary.

“Say Denki!” She called with a laugh and Kaminari looked at her as if she held a bomb in her hands.

“Wait Ashido I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this now?” Jirou muttered but Ashido payed her no mind.

“What are you up to you kitchen killing alien?” Denki questioned giving her a side eye as Mina fainted innocence.

“Hey now my cooking is great! I’m not scared of cooking whatsoever! The computer just got it sooo wrong!” She grinned as several people who were drawn to her spectacle rolled their eyes.

“Actually I wanted to show you something?~ As a thank you for, 'Cheering,’ me on during my turn!~” She hummed as Kaminari sweat dropped.

He knew she was planning something, even without Kirishima whispering in his ear about how she obviously had something up her sleeve, but he didn’t know what..

“Minnaa come onnn,” He elongated the words for as dramatic of an effect as he could muster, “I was joking!~ Joking! You’re an awesome Uh- Water boiler! Yeah! You boil the best water!”

Ashido waved a finger in his face making a, 'Nuh-uh,’ sound as her grin widened and she held out her hand, “Here! Take it!~”

With suspicious eyes Denki put his hands out, cupping them under Mina’s without thinking as his curiosity outweighed the thought he probably shouldn’t’ve done that.

“His name’s Fuzzy! He likes warm hugs and long walks on the beach!~”

It was then Kaminari connected the dots far too late as Ashido dropped an ugly, huge, evil looking brown tarantula into his hands.

His shriek wasn’t nearly as loud as the sound of his electricity uncontrollably sounding off, his friends around him flung themselves out of the way as a field of lightning threatened to electrocute them.

Flinging the spider as far as he could, he stumbled over his feet falling back on the one thing that they had all sworn they’d be careful around.

His hand connected with the panels in slow motion, no one had time to do anything as a metallic shrieking noise filled the entire room as Kaminari’s own electricity was being forcibly drawn from his body.

He screamed as the tech blared loud beeps and alarms that were drowned out in the horrific blends of noise that overwhelmed the room as the panels were being overloaded with power.

Students were blown away unable to say anything with the force of the electric pulses, and All Might could do nothing except shield nearby students as electrified pieces of shrapnel flew off the panels in randomised bursts of explosions.

In the haze of noise no one heard the small, 'Computer star-’ that was drowned out as the thunderous conglomerate of high pitched static exploded.

The lights hummed with power as one by one they shattered, raining glass down on everyone as they screamed.

Plunged into darkness the only thing they could see was the illumination of Denki being used as a living light bulb before suddenly with another loud popping noise even that light went out and Kaminari crumpled onto the floor with a loud thud.

The sudden silence left ringing in their ears as the tornado of noise came to a stop.

“Wha-” Uraraka coughed, the burnt smell of melted rubber and other unknown mechanical substances charred together filling the room with the hissing smoke that emitted from the panels.

“What happened?” Someone else finished her thought but in the pitch black dark no one could exactly tell who it was.

“It’s all right! Everyone, everything’s all right! I am here! Yaoyorozu, can you create something to light up the room for us?” All Might called out in the dark, startling students with his loud booming voice that seemed to come from nowhere.

After several minutes of shuffling silence a dim light illuminated Momo’s face as she held up a lantern.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked without knowing what answer she even expected, the lantern she managed to produce didn’t have much light to it. If she stretched out her hand and still held the lantern she would lose sight of it even though it was still so close.

“Hey Todoroki?” She called and received a quiet, 'Yes?’ From somewhere across the room.

“If I make some candles would you be able to light them?” She questioned knowing the lantern wouldn’t be bright enough to light the whole room even if she made a hundred.

A sudden quiet fwoosh of noise later and Shoto was faintly visible in the flickering orange light of his flame. He only ignited his finger, just barely enough so that he could be seen on the other side of the room.

“Yes I can do that, if you can throw the candles over to me I’ll start lighting them.”

“Okay great! Hold on guys I’ll have some lights made soon.”

“Alright, now just what the fuck was all that!?” Bakugo yelled immediately from where he’d been forcibly thrown off the couch in the confusion.

“Calm down everyone! Let’s let Miss Yaoyorozu create more light sources while we assess our situation!” All Might shouted with a clap, “First off I will call out each of your names and please give an indication of your situation!”

“Aoyama?”

“Beautifully present,” there was a muffled up cough before the voice sounded off again, “Oh and I’m doing just great, my hair got charred and I’m covered in dust but I’m just fine.”

He sounded annoyed but no one interrupted as All Might went through the roll call one by one, everyone miraculously without any severe injuries, until getting to the very last name that everyone was internally worried about.

“Kaminari?”

Silence, it was an awfully painful silence that scared All Might to his core as he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Denki Kaminari? Are you alright?”

Again there was no response and as much as All Might wanted to walk around and check on all the students personally, without much light there was the concern of stepping on students. With the shattered glass everywhere even if he did only lightly step on anyone, it could still do damage.

“Den- Denki?” A shaking voice questioned in the dark and it was clear by the guilt ridden worry that it was Ashido.

“Hey fucking sparky, you’re wasting our time say something you idiot.”

“Well he’s not gonna want to say anything with you yelling at him like that.”

“Shut up tape face or I’ll blow you fucking sky high!”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Wait shut up!” Jirou yelled silencing their banter as something in the dark shifted, and with it she heard another fainter noise that she only barely managed to pick up.

Several seconds passed and-

“Yee~”

The whole room breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god I thought you finally kicked it,” Jirou muttered feeling the exhaustion of worry give way.

“Ah he’s fried again!” Kirishima chuckled as they received another half hearted, 'Yee,’ noise.

“Fucking shitty sparky ass if you were awake say something sooner!”

“Awe Baku you really do care~”

“Fucking hell! Who said that!? Sero was it you!?”

“NO! Why do you always think it’s me!?”

“All right! That’s enough!” All Might sounded off silencing the batter that sparked off, “It seems like everyone is here except Midoriya, we’ll have to try to contact him once we get everything in order. Yaoyorozu how many light sources have you managed to make?”

“I have a handful of stick candles right now, I’ll try to make more but for now it’ll have to work,” she said as she gather up her candles, “Todoroki I’m going to try throwing them at you, sorry if I hit you.”

“You won’t hit me.”

With a nod that no one could see, Momo threw the first candle, trying to be as gentle as she could while still getting it to the other side of the room.

A smacking sound of something hitting flesh echoed throughout the quiet room as the slight light coming from Todoroki jolted and went out.

“Um, Todoroki are you alright? That sounded like it hurt?” Uraraka asked, ignoring the fact that Bakugo was hysterically cackling away in his little dark corner.

“..Yes I’m alright.” His voice came after a heavy pause and even with lacking any emotion, everyone could hear the embarrassment.

Without wasting a second he lit the candle, the wick sparkling and sizzling as the flame came to life engulfing the darkness around Shoto in a brilliant light.

“Whoa I can see his whole body! You can even see the mark where he got hit wit- Oh wait that’s just his scar.” Someone somewhere said in amazement and despite the awkwardness everyone had to admit they were right.

The candle light was really bright, even for an ordinary candle it was still strange the way it glowed white instead of a yellow or orange like Todoroki’s flame.

“I used magnesium in the wicks when I made them, it takes a little longer but they’ll burn brighter and won’t blow out easily.”

“Actually it’s what trick candles are made of. It’s why you can’t blow them out and they relight themselves, because the magnesium is very flammable the embers from the wick burn an-”

“Did we fucking ask for the science lesson!? Just make the damn candles already, I don’t want that fucking half and half to be the only thing I can see!” Bakugo shouted in annoyance as several more candles were being transferred over and lit.

“So what happened?” Someone questioned after a pregnant pause, and that same, shaky pitchy voice suddenly spoke up.

“I’m,” the voice cracked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for- I just wanted.. I don’t know I-”

“It’s quite alright Miss Ashido, you didn’t mean any harm,” All Might’s voice held a comforting tone to it, as though he were patting her on the back.

“Kaminari didn’t mean to set the panels off either, it was an accident that I’m responsible for.”

“I’m just glad that none of you are hurt!” He laughed, Ashido’s sniffling being drowned out by the loud noise.

“I hate to be that guy,” a quiet voice spoke up once he was done, “But I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep control of my quirk..”

“It’s alright Tokoyami, I’ll have the room lit, just hang on,” Momo already had half the room lightened up, but it was really draining her.

At least with the strength of the candles she didn’t have to make too many, but the pressure was intense.

Students were laying everywhere on the ground, it looked like a hurricane had swept through with the glittering of the glass and slight cuts that littered 1-A being suddenly brought to light.

Though no one had any serious injuries, they had a huge amount of small paper-cut like scrapes from the glass and it made them all look like they went through some kind of vengeful blender.

“Alright! Everyone can move again, be careful with the glass of course and try tending to yours, and others, cuts as much as possible! I’ll find out what exactly happened, but we might be here awhile since the building’s put us in lockdown!”

“Lockdown!? What!” Shouts of protest went around like wildfire as students groaned in frustration.

“Well there goes our party plans.. Hey All Might how long is lockdown anyways?”

All Might gave a thought as he started carefully making his way to the panels, the room being just fully light enough to see everything.

“Well, it could vary depending on the damage, it might be half an hour, or it could be four!” He laughed as the students all groaned again.

“What about Deku?” Uraraka asked worriedly as she picked herself off from the ground and dusted the shards of glass and dust off.

“What about him?” Bakugo scoffed, intercepting the question that was clearly meant for their teacher.

“The shitty nerd is fine! He has that entire room to himself while I’m stuck with you fucking extras! He’s living the dream! I bet he’s laughing his fucking face off right now tha-”

“Um Kacchan what’re you doing here?” The sudden voice came out of nowhere, crystal clear, cutting off Bakugo’s words like a knife.

***

Izuku’s brows furrowed, scrunching his features together and a strong sense of something lodged in the pit of his stomach as he shifted the weight between his feet nervously.

When he’d stepped into the room everything was fine- Normal even. Or at least as normal as he expected?

It was exactly as Uraraka had said, the room was so large and so disorienting with how blank it was that he actually felt lost amongst the space.

When he turned he couldn’t see into the room even though he knew there was a window there, and even the door was covered up by concrete wall.

He’d waited to start the training, not wanting to interrupt the conversations that flared up in the other room. Plus, a little piece of him was enjoying hearing the banter and jokes.

Then suddenly everything went wrong.

A thunderous distorted buzz filled every empty corner in a hissing vibration that was so loud it drowned out his voice as he had to cover his ears in pathetic attempts to block out the horrific noise.

The lights flickered above him before popping out one by one leaving him engulfed in darkness as the noise sounded a loud shrieking explosion before plunging him into a sudden silence that left a shrill ringing in his ears.

'What?’ He questioned in his thoughts, still rubbing at his ears as he waited for his hearing to return to him, 'What was that?’

'Did something happen to everyone? Are they alright?’

'Nobody’s said anything?’

It was true, after the- Whatever that was, there hadn’t been a word from anyone in the other room. All Might hadn’t explained anything, no background noise, no chatter or fighting, it was like he was cut off from the rest of his class and it was unsettling.

That’s when he turned around facing where he thought the window was.

His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly, his whole body stiffening as he came to the sudden realisation he wasn’t alone.

There was a darker outlined silhouette of a person causing a jolt of fear to flood his veins strictly from that feeling of being so sure he was alone.

Bakugo stood unmoving in front of him, his arms crossed as he stared Izuku down with the coldest gaze he’d ever seen.

The silence between them was unnerving and made that sickening feeling of wrongness all the more unbearable.

“Um Kacchan,”

Izuku cleared his throat, cringing at how his voice cracked making his frazzled nerves all the more obvious.

“What’re you doing here?”

Silence.

Not a word was uttered and Izuku’s confusion festered inside of him making his stomach churn.

One second passed.

Two.

An entire minute.

He might have been more comfortable if someone else was with him, but the fact that it was just Kacchan staring him down in the near pitch black room made him feel unbelievably nervous.

Where was everyone else?

What happened to the power?

Where was Uraraka? Iida? Todoroki? Anyone?

Where was All Mi-

“You need to just shut up you quirk-fucking-less Deku.”

Bakugo suddenly snarled with such hatful disgust that it made Izuku visibly wince despite himself.

“What? Kacchan? I don’t?-”

“I said FUCKING SHUT UP!”

He felt the bile rise to his throat and his heartbeat quicken.

The shock from the sudden ear splitting yell echoed around the room vibrating his chest like he’d been at the front row of a concert and Izuku couldn’t help but begin to feel a sinking feeling.

“Wait, I don’t understand, Kacchan what’s going on?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“You don’t have the fucking right to call me that you worthless Deku.”

The Bakugo in front of him spat his nickname as though it were more bitter than poison as he took steps towards Izuku, sizing him up with a gaze that- Had Midoriya not known who Bakugo was, he would have described as completely villainous.

Each step Kacchan took closer to him, Izuku matched by stepping backwards until he could no longer run away from the glowing spite that bore down on him.

“It’s your fucking fault.”

It was a gravely whisper that only made him more confused as Kacchan grabbed him by his shirt and pressed him hard against the concrete wall.

“What ar-”

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP!” Bakugo exploded with sudden uncontrollable power and shoved Deku into the wall, his head banging against the concrete causing tears to well in his shaky eyes.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT HE’S DEAD!”

Despite the situation a fear other than that of the feral Kacchan slapped him in the face.

“Whose dead?” He questioned but Izuku’s only response was his own voice bouncing off the walls making his anxiety grow ten fold.

“What happened? Kacchan talk to me!”

“Please, I won’t know if you don’t tell me!”

Again, there wasn’t a sound from Kacchan. His fingers which clutched the wrinkled uniform pressed down on his skin with such a harshness that Izuku knew bruises were forming with each elongated second.

But what unnerved him the most was how deathly cold Kacchan’s hands were, he could feel the chill seeping it’s way past the fabric making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“I know we aren’t friends,” His voice was quiet but held a sharpness to it that gave him the strength to finally meet Bakugo’s resenting glare, “I know we’re nothing close, to you we aren’t even classmates. I’m just another extra, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I think of you the same way.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, or why you’re acting like this, but just talk to me! I can help!”

Izuku put his own feverish hands on Bakugo’s, suppressing the urge to wince as the icy touch spread through his body, and for a second, for a split second, he thought he’d gotten through to him.

Kacchan’s expression had relaxed, he felt warmer in more ways than one, and Midoriya gave a smile as if trying to show that everything was okay despite his cluelessness.

The next thing Izuku knew he was seeing blurs as the room flew by and he collided with the floor, bouncing and rolling several feet before finally stopping.

The wind was completely ripped from his lungs and he lay gasping for breath, his gaze was hazy but he still managed to see Kacchan standing above him with a look of disgust.

“You’re a fucking disgrace. Don’t you dare think you can just act like nothing happened.”

“ 'I can help!’ ” He mocked, his eyes radiating a sadistic venom as he made a wild hand gesture.

“That’s just like you. Typical fucking Deku. You never know when to just fucking stop.”

“You’ve helped enough.”

If Izuku was going to say anything he didn’t have the chance before Kacchan kicked him hard square in the leg and he had to hold back the urge to keep from crying out.

“All Might’s dead because of you.”

Despite every fibre of his being that screamed this was wrong, that something just wasn’t adding up, that everything was moving way too quick, that one sentence alone made his face pale and his heart stop.

“What- ” His head was racing a hundred miles a minute as he tried processing that single sentence.

“What do you mean? Kacchan what do you mean All Might’s dead!”

“What.-” He stressed helplessly tugging on Kacchan’s pants leg in some desperate plea to make him explain. “-Happened!”

Kacchan looked down on him and with a disgusted scoff he kicked Izuku away, not nearly as hard as his first kick to his leg, but rough enough so that Izuku was sent sprawling again.

“It’s exactly fucking that. He’s dead. You took his quirk.”

Midoriya took on a ghostly look, his attempt at pulling himself up was thwarted by guilt that froze him in his tracks. He didn’t know if Kacchan meant what he thought he did but-..

There was no way he could know?

Kacchan didn’t bat an eye at Izuku as he crouched down to meet the teary faced statue in front of him.

“While you were halled up here fucking sitting on your ass, a fucking villain got in and cut the power.”

“He couldn’t do a damn thing because of you!”

Izuku- He couldn’t believe it.

It shouldn’t be possible, it had to be fake, it had to be a lie.

But it all felt so real that he had to fight back the nauseating acidic feeling that steadily rose up his throat.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t believe it.

But this was Kacchan, he wouldn’t lie about something like this!

Kacchan loved All Might just as much as he did!

So it had to be true but it just couldn’t!

“You’re-” His voice quivered and he hadn’t realised he was crying until he felt the tears fall off his chin as he looked up at a face that stared back with murder.

“You’re wrong! All Might wouldn’t just die! He can’t!” Izuku screamed back, his voice breaking as that sickening nausea rose in his scream and he banged his fist down on the floor as if punching Kacchan’s words.

He didn’t even wince as one of his fingers snapped, bending upwards at an eerily unnatural angle.

“I don’t know what happened but he’s not dead!” Shakily he rose to his feet, his body audibly cracking with the effort.

“He-”

“Then go see him for yourself.”

This voice wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as angry or hateful, it was familiar but held a coldness to it that Izuku hadn’t ever heard before and he looked up with wide eyes.

Iida was standing there, behind Kacchan. His face might’ve been masked by his glasses but Midoriya could still feel a revulsion stronger than disgust radiating from his friend.

“Iida? What are- what’s going on? What happened to All Might? This isn’t true? Right!?”

Izuku hadn’t realised he’d gotten up in his shock, but he took a slow inching step forward, ignoring the glares from Kacchan and reached out for Iida only to see his friend back away.

“You should know. You killed him after all.”

Izuku clutched at his heart as if gripping the distorted fabric of his shirt would keep his chest from feeling like it was about to collapse in on itself.

Seeing Iida look at him like that, hearing how distant he sounded, it hurt.

“I stuck around you in case I needed to do the right thing, I knew you were trouble since day one.”

Izuku wanted to interrupt him.

He wanted to shake Iida and beg him to stop acting so cold, to call his name with that happy sparkle he had and joke around like they normally did, but he stood in frozen disbelief unable to muster any kind of voice.

“The minute I saw you during the entrance exams I knew you weren’t a hero. Someone like you, with your quirk, you were bound to get someone killed.”

“And you did.”

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance, maybe then-” Iida’s hands were clenched into tight fists as he spoke, “Maybe then All Might would still be alive. His power would’ve returned. Instead of being stuck with someone like you.”

“I thought,” Deku’s voice was too quiet, it quivered with the sharp pounding of his quickening heartbeat, “I thought we were friends? Iida this..”

His head was spinning and he felt lost in his own words.

“This isn’t like you! What happened!”

“I get that you blame me but we can figure out what’s going on! This isn’t normal this- If our friendship meant anything at all, then please, just talk to me!”

He locked eyes with him and felt a déjà-vu surge of hope, maybe, just maybe Tenya was just taking out his grief on him like Kacchan? Maybe he’d come to his senses and realise what he was saying!?

If anyone could be reasoned with it was him.

The pain Izuku felt on his cheek didn’t even compare to the stabbing realisation that turned his entire body ridged. Iida- No his friend, his best friend, slapped him so hard that it left a red mark on his tear streaked face.

“Did you really think I’d be friends with someone as worthless as you.” Iida stated in such a calm and collective manner that it was devastating.

He couldn’t stop the chocking sob that broke through his resolve. He couldn’t stop the small quaking tremors that racketed his body.

Why!

Why did it hurt so much..

He’d had his dreams snatched away from him, he’d been bullied and beaten, he’d broken his bones countless of times, but not one of those moments hurt as badly as this did now. Nothing compared to this god awful sinking that pressed his insides down, enveloping his entire body in a throb that just.. Wouldn’t go away.

“Izuku? Are you okay?”

He looked up to see Uraraka staring at him with a gentleness that felt like an ice cold bath on a drunken night. It was like something cleared and it made him want to hug her and never let her go.

Bakugo and Iida might hate him, but she never would.

That just wasn’t who she was.

He felt a calmness settle his nerves and he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.

Izuku smiled as he wiped his eyes, “Thanks Uraraka, sorry I- ” He paused as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know what happened, I know they don’t mean it, Kacchan is Kacchan but Iida.. I didn’t think he’d.. You guys are my first friends you know? And, I don’t even know what happened?”

His entire being radiated a sad happiness that made his smile seem almost heartbreaking.

Uraraka was like a rock to him, she was the first person to ever help him, the only person who ever reached out a hand to someone like him, the only normality out of this whole messed up misunderstanding.

Again, that hope, that cruel and stupid hope that kept popping up even though these stupid, stupid situations kept repeating, made him feel calm.

The small fleeting moment of peace he had, that feeling of, 'I’m going to be okay,’ it plummeted quicker than it appeared when, to his horror, he saw Uraraka’s pleasantness contort into a sadistic grimace.

“You’re kidding right? You really believed that? Why would I care if you were okay after what you’d done?”

His smile was wiped from his face and the deception left him with a hollow feeling he’d never experienced before.

“I don’t understand- Why? What’s going on?” Izuku’s voice was so small as he watched in a transe like horror as Uraraka spun around the room as if she were dancing.

“Why!? Because you were stronger than me! Did you really think anyone would be friends with you for any other reason? Grow up Deku!”

The stress in his nickname made Izuku wince and he had another moment of déjà-vu.

This felt almost like middle school.

This felt like when Kacchan bullied him, except so much worse that it made him want to shut his eyes and never open them.

But, he wasn’t powerless anymore like he was back then. He could fight back. He could..

The mere idea of raising a fist to either Iida or Uraraka felt so utterly wrong. Just thinking of the possibility made him experience another wave of nausea and he hated himself for even realising he could fight them.

That idea was far more sickening than hearing anything they could ever say to him.

A loud snap startled him out of his thoughts and Uraraka grinned in his face, she was so close that if he leaned forward their noses would be touching.

“Deku~ 'You can do anything!’ Did you really honestly believe that crap? Jeez I must be a better actor than I thought!”

The Uraraka before him leaned back and laughed a laugh that pierced his already sunken heart, but it was such a hollowed out feeling.

Even though it hurt so bad, his eyes were dry with the overwhelming disbelief of it all.

“Shitty Deku, you can’t do anything other than getting in the way. You couldn’t even save me.”

Bakugo’s sudden voice made Izuku’s head snap towards the sound and he stood staring as a match like fire of anger burned the bitterness on his tongue like fuel.

How could Kacchan say something like that? He knew better than anyone that he risked everything to save him!

“What? Expecting a thanks for your, 'Rescue Mission,’ if you were fucking quicker I wouldn’t have needed to be rescued in the first fucking place! If you weren’t going to take being a hero seriously then why’d you even enter U.A!?”

And just with one sentence, with one god awful look from Kacchan, that confidence he had was snuffed out.

His determined expression fell flat.

That..

That was true..

The sudden surge of conviction he had dissolved as he realised that Kacchan was right.

If he had only been quicker, if he only reached him sooner. He might’ve..

“You’re a monster, a demon. Monsters can’t be heroes.”

“I’m not- ” A sudden sob caught in his throat that surprised him but he forced it down, “I’m not a monster!”

His fists were held tightly to his sides, his head looking down at the concrete floor as if wishing he’d turn invisible.

Maybe if he wasn’t so tired, maybe he’d have been able to handle what they were saying better? Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted with such weakness?

Maybe he’d have realised that something wasn’t right.

That the burning he felt engulfing him wasn’t normal.

That people kept showing up from nowhere.

That-

Everyone seemed to know what he was thinking.

“You are.”

This voice was new and Izuku looked up to find Todoroki staring back at him with a seemingly expressionless face, but his eyes burned with a quiet rage that made both of them seem almost red.

At that moment he felt his heart sink even further to the point he felt his knees almost buckle.

Not-

Not him.

Todoroki was like a brother, they’d helped each other out so much.. He cared for him so much..

“Your strength is evil. It hurts everything and everyone around it. It shouldn’t exist.”

It felt useless to deny it but still Midoriya had to. He.. He knew his power was dangerous, but that didn’t make it evil! That didn’t make him evil!

All Might went through the same thing!

“That’s not true! I just need to train more! I’m going to become a hero!”

“And how many people have to get hurt, how many people have to die until you make it?”

Izuku whirled his head around so quick it nearly gave him whiplash as he stared at Kirishima with another pang to his chest.

He shouldn’t have been surprised! But he couldn’t help the disappointment from eating away at him.

“You’re so selfish!”

Again he turned his head back to see Mineta looking up at him with an accusatory gaze of hatred.

“Mineta? But you tried cheering me up earlier? You’re my friend!”

He knew it was pointless but.. Still..

Mineta looked offended as he huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms angrily.

“Yeah right! I only did that because you’re so annoying when you’re sad! You sit right in front of me! I don’t want to see that!”

Izuku couldn’t handle what was happening anymore.

Every word that came out of his friends mouths hurt, every time they looked at him, every glare, every scoff, stung his chest and rattled him despite it all.

“You should’ve taken my advice.”

Bakugou had stayed quiet, but now he spoke up with an uncharacteristic coldness that confused Izuku as he looked from the scuffed up concrete and locked eyes with him.

“Kacchan what-”

“You should’ve taken a nose dive when you had the chance.”

An eerie calmness overtook him as tears suddenly started falling noiselessly down his face and dripping onto the concrete like ghostly shines in the darkened light.

“I don’t care what you all say,” his hands were clenched to the point his knuckles turned white, his broke finger the only one not balled up.

“You’re my friends!” His shout met with empty air as his entire class had surrounded him. Each person looking at him with mixtures of disgust and rage.

There wasn’t a single friendly face in his 1-A class. Not one.

“Do you know what All Might said before he died?”

It was Kaminari that spoke up and Izuku couldn’t help that bitter feeling of betrayal from creeping in. He helped Kaminari study often, they laughed together, played games together, he stayed up late helping him.

But here he was.

Looking at him just like all the others.

“He said his biggest regret was meeting you. You were his greatest failure.”

The world stopped.

Izuku felt like he was falling.

Maybe he was? He wasn’t aware anymore.

His tears stopped from the sheer weight of knowing that they were right.

It shouldn’t have bothered him.. It wasn’t like All Might said it to his face, he had no reason to believe them except-

They were his friends, and he knew they weren’t lying.

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to live.”

In the haze of his shock Izuku didn’t hear Tokoyami, he didn’t even register what other cruel things were thrown at him.

He didn’t even feel the first punch until it landed with his jaw and sent him flying backwards, Kirishima’s smug face happily proud of himself as his sharp teeth grinned a happy smile.

Despite everything he heard, everything he saw, Deku didn’t want to give up.

The laughter, the games, late nights in the dorm, study sessions, parties, these were his friends. They were his precious family.

He rubbed his cheek, groaning as he rose to his feet dizzily, “You’re all my friends, I don’t want to fight you.”

His stubborn conviction settling his resolve as he felt clear headed again, no matter what happened they would always be his family, even if he was never anything to them.

Gingerly Izuku rubbed away a smudge of blood from his split lip and his eyes shone with an empowering confidence.

“I won’t fight you.”

A piercing scream tore its way from his lips as his arm felt an intense burning sensation that brought him to his knees from the sheer pain of it as ringing bounced through his skull.

“I’m not your fucking friend.”

Izuku’s mouth frothed with a mixture of blood and spit from where he bit his lip and he clutched the useless arm that hung loosely by his side desperately as he regained composure and stood once more.

This was different than spar fighting, this was different than all those exam fights because this time there wasn’t a purpose. This wasn’t to get better, this was real.

There was a real intent to hurt, to kill, emitting from each one of them.

“Please-” he spat his voice begging, pleading them to hear him, “Please if our friendship meant anything, even if this is all true and you all hate me, if there was ever a time when we really did laugh together, even for a second, then please don’t do this. I’ll- I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll drop out. I’ll give up on being a hero, just please don’t do this!”

“You won’t become heroes if you do! The school will expel you!”

His voice shook with the sudden power in which he shouted. There was never a single moment, standing there with one arm useless, that he thought he should fight them.

He could never turn One For All on his friends, even if they tried killing him.

The thought of Kacchan never being the hero long ago they once dreamed he’d be, of Kirishima not being able to follow the footsteps of his idle, of Iida not living up to his legacy, of Uraraka not making her parents proud like she hoped- Even though they already were proud.

Those thoughts were strangely worse than the pain he felt.

“And here he goes with that stupid self sacrificing attitude, Jeez! It’s pathetic!” Uraraka sent a chip of what looked like the floor hurtling towards him and he managed to dodge, but the sudden effort made him trip over his own feet and he fell to the floor with a thud.

He cried out as his damaged arm met the ground harshly and a sudden soft chill grazed the right side of his face causing him to look up in hazy confusion, “Todor-”

Izuku screamed, a guttural pained scream that bounced off the walls of the room filling it with the sound of his agony.

He clawed at where Todoroki burnt his face, trying to put out the flames that burned into his skin.

A handprint, Shoto’s handprint, was seared into his flesh like a brand.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should use this?”

Izuku felt like he couldn’t cry anymore, but still several tears stung his face.

He couldn’t open his right eye, but he stared up at Todoroki with betrayal and.. And something else..

“There we go! Hey guys I think he’s finally getting it!”

He screamed again, his entire body contorting as electricity shot up and down his spine, his back arching uncontrollably.

A punch collided with his stomach knocking him a few feet over, he couldn’t see who it was but it didn’t matter. Izuku was left gasping, spitting blood onto the floor as he rolled over, unable to move.

“I won’t- I won’t fight you guys, I don’t want to hurt you.”

He winced before the pole collided with his damaged leg, knowing the blow was coming before even seeing it.

There was an audible crack that sent him into a flurry of tortured screams.

The onslaught of attacks stopped and Izuku opened his eyes hoping that maybe everyone finally came to their senses..

Or at least were done.

Instead of his class he saw someone else hovering above him like an angel.

It was a sight that made his chest tighten with longing as he stared as if seeing a ghost.

“Mo-” He gasped wordlessly as a coughing fit made his lungs fill with a burning itch that sent him sputtering. It took him several minutes before he was able to breathe again, blood traced his lips and he heaved a big gasp of air before looking at his mother with greedy hopeful eyes.

“Mom?” He croaked, finally able to get her name out as he looked up with a childish desperation.

He watched her kneel down besides him, gently she brushed the hair away from his wounded eye and a heaving sob made his entire body tremble as he shook.

He couldn’t get up, he couldn’t move his arms, he had no strength to stand, and the fact he wasn’t able to do something as simple as hugging his own mom hurt him as he lay pathetically on the ground struggling to breathe with how hard he was crying.

“Mom I-” Izuku looked at her unable to get a sentence out with how badly he was trembling.

He didn’t care about how unreal it was, or how the same thing happened with his classmates, and how quickly that happy feeling had been ripped away again and again each time someone showed up.

He just wanted his mom.

“Oh Izuku,” the pity that filled her voice only made him feel worse inside. That wasn’t what he wanted her to say. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, he wanted her to hug him, he wanted to feel his mom’s warmth and know that everything- Every god awful thing that happened today was just a sick dream.

His face melted into his mother’s hands as she cradled his cheek and he shut his eyes, he didn’t care that her hand felt so cold, he was exhausted from his own outburst. His body ached, he hurt so badly, and not just physically.

He wanted a hug so desperately, he wanted to just go home already..

“You realise it don’t you?” Her voice was gentle and soft like a butterfly’s wings and despite the confusing context, Izuku found himself taking comfort in her quiet voice.

He opened his eye, looking up at her with a questioning stare that said more than his voice could.

“That none-”

The pounding in his heart picked up again and he gasped as her icy nails sunk into his face, clawing at his skin until red welts dotted his cheek.

“None of this-”

His eyes widened in sheer terror, unlike any that he’d ever experienced, as he begged his mom to let go in the way his tears mixed with the blood that started to bleed in ugly splotches down his face.

“Would have happened if it weren’t for you!” She screamed at him, a voice he never heard before, it was horrific, it was worse than any curse or cruel thing Bakugo- or any of his friends said.

“MY HUSBAND’S GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!”

There wasn’t anything he could do as Izuku struggled to breathe under his mother’s iron grip. He couldn’t ask her why, he couldn’t question what she meant, he couldn’t even push her away as she began to strangle him.

Izuku could only sit there and listen as uncontrollable tremors racketed his body and his breathing hitched into hyperventilating.

“If it weren’t for you he’d still be here!” Her voice was a hysteric mixture of pure disgust that was both distraught and angry.

“And then you want to be a hero!? You’re quirkless! You were a worthless child since I brought you back from the hospital!”

“Too weak to even stand up for yourself!”

“Worthless!”

“A good for nothing Deku!”

She spat, and he flinched as though he’d been struck as her nails dug further into his neck.

“I should’ve abandoned you long ago- You’ve been nothing but trouble!”

“Having to be a mother to a horrible son like you!”

“I wish I’d died instead.”

At that she flung him away, and this time Izuku Midoriya did not get up.

He didn’t even try to protect himself when she slammed him into the floor.

The world was a daze, he couldn’t feel anything anymore he couldn’t even breathe as he gasped, the pressure gone from his throat.

He felt so detached, it was like he wasn’t even here.

There was a ringing in his ear from the impact and something wet was on his face but he didn’t know if it was tears or blood anymore.

It took him several minutes just to regain control of the spasming in his chest. His sobs choked him as he gasped into the ground, unaware of the spit that flew as he struggled to do something as simple as breathe.

His mom’s voice echoed in the base of his skull as his pitiful cries slowed to empty gasps and he laid pathetically on the concrete.

Izuku didn’t know how long he had been laying there.

He couldn’t think anymore, if he did his chest tightened and his head throbbed with the pain that hammered in his heart.

As if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Izuku painfully turned his head sideways, shifting awkwardly as he no longer felt the need to suppress the urge to cry out and spat blood as his body twitched from the pain.

His breathing slowed to nothing as he stared blankly at the wall, expressionless save for his shaking eyes.

He didn’t know if it was the concussion that made him hallucinate or if he had gone so utterly insane that he imagined it, but he saw All Might in front of him now.

Only he was bloodied.

His body had deep cuts littering all over him and his right arm was torn off from the shoulder, bone exposed jagged and awkwardly, spilling blood everywhere.

He was hunched over in on himself, clutching his stomach as if in his last moment he tried stopping his own innards from spilling everywhere from the gaping slash that ran from shoulder to hip exposing the eerie whiteness of his ribs.

The blood dripping from his opened mouth in a thick line pooled at his knee, and his eyes stared at him widely with a lifelessness that was unsettling even in the dark lighting.

It was as if he was saying, 'You did this to me.’

He could hear it.

Everywhere around him.

He could hear their voices circling him, suffocating him, strangling him as if they physically stood around blaming him.

Izuku could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, his ragged breathing had peaked and he couldn’t even register where he was anymore.

“Stop it.”

'Who said that?’ He wondered as he looked around without seeing, it felt as if he should know, but something was in the way.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

'It sounded kind of familiar? But why was it so far away?’ There wasn’t anyone around him, so there shouldn’t have been a voice.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

All at once it was like Izuku had been hit with a truck. He could feel every ounce of pain that choked him. His broken arm, the ribs that poked his lungs, the throbbing of his burn, every bruise and scrape all returned to him and the ringing vanished as quick as it came and instead enveloped him in a screaming he didn’t realise was his own.

He screamed, pulling at his own hair as the unbearable pain consumed his voice in each increasingly loud, 'Stop It,’ that uttered past his lips.

Izuku’s agonising scream bounced off the walls seeming to return to him, mocking him, as his own heartbreak became too much for him to handle.

“Stop it. Stop it. . stopitSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP!”

A blinding flash of white-

And then suddenly.

The screaming stopped.

It was quiet.

It was so utterly quiet that if you dropped a single hair you’d be able to hear it when it met the floor.

Izuku lay still on the ground, sprawled out in an unnatural pose that screamed louder than his own desperate cries- That something was terribly wrong.

His eyes were closed and for once since he stepped into the cement hell of a building, for once since he woke up in a scrambled mess, he looked unsettlingly peaceful.

The only eerie thing other than the silence that deafened the tormented room, was the fact that Izuku’s chest was not moving.

[bytheangell]

A Vivid Mistake - Part 2

(Read on AO3) (Read part one)

Simon doesn’t know where to go. He doesn’t want to go to Kyle or Eric’s house, not wanting to drag them into any potential danger if the Shadowhunters come looking for him in the city. It’d be easy enough to find him because outside of Clary and the others he really only has a few other friends, and Clary knows where all of them live to track him down.

That is if Clary survives to tell people where to find him.

Luke is out for obvious reasons, even though he gave Simon refuge in the past. The thought of going down to Florida, where Becky is, crosses his mind briefly… but he can’t risk his mother seeing him as much as the comfort of family is suddenly all he wants.

Not that Simon deserves to have anything he wants, not right now and maybe never again.

The whole thing feels like a dream, something his mind does its best to detach itself from, the memory of it playing out like a movie over and over in his head rather than something he specifically perpetrated. He never lost control like that before, not even when he first turned. It isn’t like him. He’d never hurt a fly, let alone a friend.

There’s a small part of him that knows it isn’t his fault, at least not to the extent that he blames himself. He hears Isabelle’s voice say that it’s an accident, that she knows he didn’t mean to do it. He remembers the torture, the burns, and the blisters and the starvation, and knows that what he did in the aftermath isn’t something he’d ever consciously do under normal circumstances. Hell, he’s sure that even the best vampires would’ve broken under those conditions.

Maybe if Simon could convince himself to believe that he could bring himself to stay and try to convince the others.

Instead, he turns to the only place he trusts himself just then - the Praetor.

“You have to help me. I hurt her. I couldn’t stop, I was so thirsty and she didn’t listen, she didn’t stay away, and-” his voice breaks off in a sob. He’s still covered in her blood, still wearing the dirty clothing he spent his captivity in, and between his appearance and his incoherent rambling they take him in and lock him in a room almost immediately. Simon goes willingly, which is probably the only reason he doesn’t find himself chained up somewhere.

The room has a bed and no windows - not necessary for him specifically, but he imagines they might not know he’s a daylighter. Simon looks at the bed longingly for a moment, trying to remember the last time he got any real rest, but instead walks himself to the far corner and sits there, pulling his knees up to his chest.

He’s left alone for a little while, and then someone knocks on the door.

“I’m going to come in,” a male voice says. “I’m armed and I have holy water. If you try to hurt me I won’t hesitate to defend myself.”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Simons says, then frowns. “I guess that’s what someone who was about to try and hurt you would say, though, isn’t it? But I’m not. I swear I’m not. I never want to hurt anyone ever again.”

The man comes in and Simon can see the weapons on him, open in an obvious warning. Simon remains in his far corner while the man looks him over from his spot by the door.

“Are those burns on your arms?” The man asks.

Simon looks down as if he’d forgotten about them. They look much better now than when he first arrived, still working on healing now that he has the blood to sustain himself again.

“Yes,” Simon says.

“Did the person you bit do that to you?” It’s an innocent question, but Simon’s eyes widen in horror.

“No! No, she would never-” just thinking about Clary brings a sting of fresh tears to his eyes.

“Alright, alright. Deep breath. How about you start by giving me your name, and then you can try and tell me what happened, alright?”

Simon doesn’t want to talk about it. He starts and stops several times, leaving out details then backtracking to fill them in. Some bits are hazy - he still isn’t sure how long he was kidnapped for, or why - and he can see the dread dawning on the man’s face when he gets to the part about Clary and the mention of Shadowhunters.

“I ran when they took her away to heal,” Simon finishes, the guilt written all over his face at his own cowardice.

“Alright,” the man says. “Thank you for your honesty, Simon. Just stay put, alright?”

Simon is left alone again and then told that they’ll give him blood and a room to stay in under the condition that he doesn’t run from them now that he’s here. They want to watch him, make sure he isn’t a danger to anyone, himself included. Simon isn’t so sure he isn’t. He isn’t so sure if he weren’t a Daylighter he wouldn’t have run himself out into the sunlight earlier instead of here… and he isn’t even sure that would be punishment enough for what he did.

He doesn’t ask about Clary even though she’s the only thing he can think about for hours, then for days. Is she alive? Is she alright? Are Jace and the others looking for him? Did the Praetor tell them that he was here if they are?

Simon doesn’t ask any of the questions that swirl inside his head, and he hopes that as long as he doesn’t bring up the Shadowhunters no one will bring them up to him, either.

After pretty constant surveillance and a few more detailed run-throughs of what happened, they decide that he doesn’t need to be kept under lock and key. They ask him just once if he wants to know what happened to Clary and he says no immediately. They don’t ask him again. Despite the freedom to come and go now, Simon never leaves the room. He drinks the blood they bring him, paces until he thinks his legs might collapse underneath him, then sleeps, and wakes up to do it all again. Every day is the same until the day there’s a knock on his door several hours before he’s due for blood.

“Simon, you have a visitor.”

The words chill him to the bone. He stops pacing.

“No,” Simon says simply.

“You don’t even know who it is-”

“No,” Simon repeats with more force. “I can’t-”

“Simon,” says a new voice, one he immediately recognizes. “I think the least you owe us is a conversation,” says Alec Lightwood.

“Us?” Simon questions, swallowing thickly. The door is still closed. If he doesn’t open it he knows the Praetor won’t force him to.

“Figuratively speaking,” Alec clarifies. “I’m here alone. It’s only me. I just want to talk.”

He could ignore the people and the life he ran from as long as he was in this room, alone and detached. He finds it much more difficult to ignore when Alec stands on the other side of the door asking him to talk.

“Please, Simon?”

Fuck.

“Alright,” Simon agrees slowly. He stands, frozen to the center of the room, unable to make his way to the chair by the desk or the bed to sit. The Praetor, a very nice werewolf by the name of Evan, opens the door and lingers there after Alec steps inside, watching the way Simon’s hands subconsciously tense at his sides.

“Would you like me to stay? Or we could move this to the common area…” Evan suggests, and Simon knows what he’s trying to suggest while also trying not to further upset Simon - that he doesn’t trust him alone in a room with Alec. Simon’s about to agree, surely Alec would feel safer that way after everything, but Alec speaks first.

“We’re fine,” Alec says.

Evan looks to Simon who only nods, and a moment later Evan’s gone and the door is shut behind him.

Simon would be more worried that Alec’s only here to kill him if he didn’t know the Praetor takes all weapons before letting a guest in. He may be a crappy vampire but even he can outrun an unarmed Shadowhunter. If Alec wanted to arrest him he would’ve just done that straight away. So maybe… maybe he really is just here to talk.

“Is Clary…” Simon starts, figuring they might as well get this part of the conversation over with.

Alec’s eyes widen in surprise. “They didn’t tell you?”

“I didn’t want to know,” Simon admits. “If I killed her, I couldn’t live with myself. The not-knowing was almost worse, at first, but then I figured someone would’ve come for me sooner if I killed her, so I hoped…”

“She’s fine,” Alec confirms. “It was touch-and-go for the first day. Magnus and Catarina managed to stay calm enough to reassure us, taking shifts so one of them was always there with her, but afterward, Magnus told me they didn’t think she was going to make it at the start.”

Simon takes an instinctive deep breath, despite not needing to breathe at all. It makes him feel a little better just the same.

“Whatever the punishment is - I know I panicked, and I shouldn’t have run. Whatever it is, I’ll come back and face it,” Simon manages, hoping he sounds braver about it than he feels which is not brave at all.

“You’re right about one thing - you shouldn’t have run. But I’m not here to arrest you, Simon. If we wanted to do that we would’ve done it the day the Praetor told us you were here and came to corroborate your story.”

Simon frowns. “But I-”

“You were tortured, Simon. For days. That would’ve broken even the oldest vampires. I shouldn’t have lost sight of Clary in the fight, I should’ve anticipated her running off on her own. What happened is on me, not you,” Alec says.

Simon can only gape, eyes wide, not knowing what to say to that. So he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he backs up toward the bed and sits down on the edge of it, and Alec follows his lead to take the chair at the desk. The two of them sit in heavy silence for a minute or two before Alec speaks again.

“Do you want to know why I’m here?”

Simon knows it’s rhetorical but he nods anyway.

“Because the first thing Clary did when she woke up was ask for you,” Alec tells him. “She wanted to make sure you were okay because she knew you’d blame yourself.”

Simon laughs, but it’s dark and bitter, the sound escaping his lips in a harsh burst. Of course Clary would worry herself over him after nearly dying. After nearly dying because of him.

“She went out looking for you the second she was cleared to leave the infirmary - it’s probably a good thing the Praetor told us you were here, or she’d probably still be out there looking. You know she blames herself for what happened because you warned her to stay out and she didn’t listen-”

“Why are you telling me this?” Simon snaps.

“Because she’s sitting at the Institute waiting for you to come back,” Alec says simply. “And it occurred to me after nearly a week that maybe you didn’t plan on coming back.”

“Of course I didn’t. I don’t. I-” Simon’s voice breaks. “I can’t. Not after what I did.”

“You’re the only one who still blames yourself,” Alec says. “Even Jace regrets telling us to leave you behind.”

Simon, who remembers Jace’s reaction very vividly, somehow doubts that Jace will welcome him back into the Institute with open arms. Alec seems to read his thoughts, or maybe the doubt is just that obvious on his face.

“Though I might give him more space than the others when you come back.”

When. The wording isn’t lost on Simon.

“If she wants to see me so badly then why isn’t she here?” Simon asks, not sure he wants to hear the answer but bracing himself for it just the same.

“The same reason you haven’t gone to visit her,” Alec says with a shrug. “You both feel too badly about what happened to make the first move. You each think you’re sparing the other by staying away.”

Simon knows that Alec wouldn’t be here just to reassure him and he knows that Alec also wouldn’t lie to spare his feelings, but he can’t find it in himself to believe that Clary wants to see him ever again, let alone right now.

“I won’t force you to come back. I just wanted to let you know that you can, whenever you’re ready.” Alec stands as he says the words, brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes from sitting. “Or if you want more company here, just… let me know.”

It’s a kind offer that catches Simon off-guard.

“Thanks,” is all Simon manages before Alec gives another dismissive shrug, turns, and walks back out of the room, leaving the door open behind him.

Simon doesn’t follow. He doesn’t leave then, or later that day, determined to at least sleep on it and think over his options in the morning. Except Simon can’t fall asleep and spends hours tossing and turning instead. He could pretend before, assume that everyone hated him and blamed him and he’d never be welcomed back. It made staying away easier - it made it something he was doing for their sake, and he could justify that.

But now, knowing that not only is he allowed back but that Clary specifically would like to see him again… now Simon has to face the fact that staying away is an entirely selfish decision on his part because he doesn’t know if he’s ready. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready. Every time he closes his eyes he sees Clary’s lifeless body, barely able to bleed out because he left her with so little blood left to lose. He sees her lifeless eyes, her paler-than-normal skin… he isn’t sure if he can ever look her in the eyes again without thinking of that moment he’d give anything to take back.

It’s nearly 4am when Simon finds one of the Praetor on the night shift and tells them that he’s leaving, just so they aren’t surprised to find his room empty later.

Stepping out into the crisp night air Simon pauses to consider his options. He can turn back around and stay... he can go to Raphael and the others at the Dumort for a while... or he can face this head-on. It doesn’t take him long to decide: he’s done enough damage lately to last him the eternity he has stretching before him. If going back will mend any piece of what he broke he owes it to Clary, if no one else, to at least try.

Simon turns resolutely towards the Institute and doesn’t look back.

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.